#BigChan

[muleumpyo]

boyfriends who work out together, uhhhh take suggestive photos in the gym mirror together 💪😳

[chanbig]

BONUS! live big reaction:

(it takes him ten minutes to realize that means chan has a crush on him)

[apathetic-tortoise]

Big: I am 100% straight

Pete: Kinn, freshly showered, no shirt on

Big: I am 90% straight

Pol: Ken, tied up for training

Big: I am 80% straight

Arm: Chan holding a gun

Big: I am not straight

[sarcastic-candy-dealer]

Tankhun: Kim, are you ignoring Chay?

Kim: I'm playing hard to get

Tankhun: Why would you do that? You're already hard to want

[ae-azile]

Kind of have a Chan/Big one-shot in my head that I am thinking about writing but have no time for. I'm going to bullet point it here to have on hand for later.

Big still takes the bullets for Porsche. When Kinn arrives, he initially thinks he is dead. Tawan still presses the button and kills himself. However, the bombs Tawan placed end up being duds and the effort was for nothing.

Once they realize the place isn't about to blow up, they go back inside to get Big's body. He turns out to be unconscious but alive. They rush him to the infirmary and he miraculously pulls through, but is going to be there for a while.

Despite the Drama™️ going on, Kinn, Porsche, and his fellow guards visit him. Kinn is very thankful and sorry, Porsche is thankful as well but feels like Big should value himself more highly and tells him as much, and the rest are trying to be present.

Even Tankhun visits him. He usually talks about how he should put demands on Korn to change up the decor of his room. But occasionally, he tearfully thanks Big for saving Porsche. There is also one time that he tells Big he deserves a better ending than the one he tried to give himself. That he may not have leading man energy, but he could totally be half of a secondary couple in a K-Drama if he just found the right person.

"And sometimes the secondary couple is more interesting anyway!"

But out of everyone, Chan visits the most frequently and has been putting the most work in when it comes to Big's care.

The thing is, Big notices two guards aren't around: Pete and Ken. The guards tell him Pete is visiting his grandmother, and they sound believable enough when they say that, even though it seems like strange timing. But they won't meet his eyes when he asks about Ken, and their stories never line up.

Chan eventually tells him. While the truth paints Ken as a traitor and there is no getting around that, Chan tries his best to empathize with Ken by telling Big that Ken was likely approached by Gun with an incentive to be a double agent. If he would have refused, it would have cost him his life a lot earlier on. He says it to let Big know it's okay to mourn Ken. Ken was still his roommate and his friend, regardless of what he did.

They become closer after that night, and Chan talks to Big in a way that is less gruff and more gentle. Big finds comfort in him, and has prior to this. Chan was the one who made sure Big took an extended break after his father died. He drove an hour each way to check on him at his mother's house back when that happened. So Big has felt comfortable coming to Chan in his moments of worry or doubt, and he has always viewed Chan with respect and affection while the other guards tended to be more intimidated by him. But something feels different now.

He doesn't know who to talk about it with though. Ken is dead, and he probably would have teased him and said he had a crush on their boss.

Does he?

Chan is at least ten years older than him. He probably shouldn't have a crush on him. He's also actively taking care of Big, and Big has a long recovery in front of him. He's setting himself up for unrequited love. Again.

Speaking of, Kinn is continuing to visit. He does so frequently, and Big can see that he's wracked with gullt. Big still feels his heart beat a little faster whenever he walks into a room, but that is starting to feel different too. Kinn almost feels like a friend now. That's probably inappropriate as well, but on a lesser level.

So he holds it in. He plans on doing so forever until he wakes up gasping from a nightmare. Chan had fallen asleep in the chair, but woke up when Big did. Instead of telling him it was just a dream, he scooted closer to comfort him, stroked his hair, and held his hand until he fell back asleep.

Big ends up telling Pol, of all people. It just slips out. Pol doesn't seem like the right person to tell, but not the wrong person either. He manages to strongly empathize with and defend Tankhun, while most of the guards tend to steer clear of him, so maybe he will understand this insanity.

Pol is actually nice to talk to. While he doesn't completely understand a potential crush on Chan because Chan is intimidating, he gets having a crush on someone a good bit older. He thinks he might be into a bartender friend of Porsche's, and she has several years on him.

The conversation doesn't give Big any answers, but it does make him feel a little better. He's able to be around Chan and not feel like freaking out.

That is, until Korn "dies" and the attack approaches. Chan has Big moved to a more secure location a day prior. Big wants to stay, Chan won't let him. Big only feels okay about leaving when Chan says he will command from the armory while Arm sends out remote attacks, that he won't be a frontline guard.

Chan lied.

Does he die? Does he miraculously live like Big manages to in this canon divergent fic or like Vegas does in canon? Depends on how much I want to torture Big, I suppose...

Jk, I want them as infirmary roomies falling in love, all while Pol wheels in to visit while he heals from his less serious injury. I also want Chan to be finished with Korn altogether after everything he pulled.

[kendrickkittycat]

Incorrect KinnPorsche quotes

Chan: Did you just tell me you told Porsche you loved him, then you took it back? ARE YOU INSANE!

Kinn: Chan, I'm not a child-

Chan: No, you're an idiot. You can't tell someone you love them, then take it back. If I told Big that, I hope he'd shoot me!

Kinn: Chan- Wait, you and Big?

Chan: Go find Porsche and tell him the truth, boy!

Kinn: ... *leaves like a scolded child*

Chan: I need a raise.

[fellhalcyon]

big, through the earpiece: requesting permission to rotate guard ahead of schedule, sir.

chan: ... for what reason?

big: *sounds of taking out his earpiece*

*in the background*

porsche, loud: dude you fucking SUCK

kinn, louder: oh yeah??? well YOU fucking SWALLOW

porsche: YOU BASTARD TAKE THAT BACK *sounds of violence*

chan:

big, whispering into the earpiece: please, sir

porsche, loudest: YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU SWALLOW TOO

chan, who has no favorites: ..................... permission granted. put ken on duty and come have a smoke, i'll be in the east garden

[saifahname]

Dhruv Sharma / Hozier

[mousydentist]

More KPTS fics <10k words that altered my brain chemistry

PART 2: Misc Relationships

here we go again! this time, these are all fics that fit somewhere outside the big three pairings (kp, vp, kc). more (WAY more) than a few deal with sensitive topics, so the back button is your friend! enjoy <3

One Bright Moment by sparkly_butthole @sparkly-butthole-on-ao3

Rated E. Creator chose not to use warnings. Summary:

“Okay,” Porsche says slowly, “who is the smartest person we know? We should start there.” “Arm,” Pete responds immediately. “He’s a scientist. A tech geek.” “As opposed to?” “A magician? I don’t know.” Or: Porsche and Pete swap bodies. No one knows what to do about it.

this fic is ssooooo conceptually amazing, i'm absolutely obsessed with the interactions between the characters and the smangst gives it extra bonus points too. god VEGAS in this fic is literally spectacular, stunning, perfection

Complicated by Dumpster_Fire_x @dumpster-fire-x

Rated M. Creator chose not to use warnings. Summary:

Chay was in trouble. There was no way to put it. He knew that what he felt was far from normal nor the conventional way relationships work. He was in love, not with one person but two. Kim and Macau. It didn’t begin that way.

COMPLICATED!!!! this fic sent me into a kimchaymacau rabbit hole that i have yet to find my way out of but tbh i like it down here. soooo sweet and cute and just all around a very delightful read. angsty with a lovely helping of hurt/comfort that makes me 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

an hour glass glued to the table by IsleofSolitude @emberfaye

(+ associated series: time is a wheel in constant motion)

Rated G. No archive warnings apply. Summary:

"He’s immature, of course he is–he didn’t get to have his cousins and his parents give him attention and time. He knows how hard Vegas works–doing triple the work of anyone so that Macau is allowed to be carefree and attend classes at his school and not the type of training that strips away at your soul." Macau and Kim are the youngest sons, only four years apart in age.

i fucking LOVE this series so much, giving me that sweet sweet kim&macau goodness. i dont normally see/read gen fics or macau-centric fics and this really set my standards high for both of those things because its so well done

I don't need a parachute, baby, if I've got you by sabrina_il (marina) @pitchercries

Rated E. No archive warnings apply. Summary:

“We can do this,” Kinn insisted, between one kiss and the next, lying on top of Tay on the massive bed in his suite. “It’s totally doable.” Tay had to laugh. Kinn was very sexy and very heavy on top of him, and Kinn’s shirt was barely buttoned anymore and Tay appreciated all of it, but Kinn was an absolute idiot when it came to being an omega. Tay had known that even before they’d gotten together, almost six months ago. He’d known it for most of the time they’d spent as friends. “We absolutely cannot,” Tay countered, kissing Kinn again. An AU where Tay and Kinn are both omegas who get together (after breaking up with Time and Tawan respectively) and due to Reasons both go into heat at the same time. Porsche is the alpha they hire to solve all their problems. Suffice it to say, everyone gets way more than they bargained for.

oh WOW what to say about this fic. the PLOT in this bad boy, and in the rest of the series, is absolutely unmatched. SUCH a creative universe and made me fall in love with tropes/relationships id never considered before. 10/10 no notes

Ain't No Sunshine by Dumpster_Fire_x @dumpster-fire-x

Rated M. Major Character Death. Summary:

"Sometimes, death can bring the living together, and death can cause the living to find solace in one another." - C. JoyBell C.

🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 ow. just. ow. short and sweet, painful, heart wrenching, lovely, and all the other adjectives that mean "hurt in a beautiful and poetic way"

Kinn the Stud by IsleofSolitude @emberfaye

Rated E. Rape/Non-con. Summary:

It’s not often that Kinn is put out to stud. Most of the time, the two ruts he gets a year are treated with a mix of pills, vetted escorts, and schedule rearranging. Yet, every few years, people are allowed to pay for the honor of having a Theerapanyakul alpha stud for their fertile omegas. Korn had promised that this time, in honor of his birthday, he would be allowed to pick one omega personally. Of course Kinn had chosen his boyfriend.

genuinely dont care if im biased cause this was a gift for me, this fic aaaaaaactually rocked my fucking world like oh my GOD my jaw was on the floor the whole fucking time and then went i went to pick it back up the fic slapped it out of my hand god this FIC.

Chan's 7 Step Method for Making Good Boys by JynxedOracle @jynxed13

Rated E. Creator chose not to use warnings. Summary:

After being assigned to train Kim by Korn, Chan decides to use the opportunity to work on Kim's disrespectful attitude. Luckily he's devised a 7 step method to make Kim a good boy, regardless of Kim's feelings on the matter.

i was present for this fic being written through discord messages and it was a religious experience. i reread it twice on discord and then a third time when it got put on ao3 and then like six times since then. if you have EVER considered the possibility of chankim you HAVE to read this fic

adrenaline by loveliuess @the-innefable-idiot

(+ associated series angsty and horny KimVegas au by popular demand)

Rated E. Graphic depictions of violence. Summary:

Tomorrow Kim would blame everything on the adrenaline rush.

hi um. this fic. this FIC. this entire series actually, because you HAVE to read the whole thing. "angsty and horny kimvegas" is 100% accurate and LORD HAVE MERCY. i read the first fic as like a little treat before i went to bed and then i stayed up til 3am to finish the rest of the series and then i cried and didnt sleep at all :) GO READ IT

a night worthy of 200kbaht by Anonymous

Rated E. Creator chose not to use archive warnings. Summary:

Tuition is due and his brother is running himself ragged with three jobs already after Uncle Thee's latest gambling debts, so Porchay does what he has to in order to take care of things himself; selling the only thing he has worth something. He just didn't expect the highest bidder to be so... classy, and lowkey impressive.

oh if you know me you know about my obsession with this fic. ive bonded with close friends over how much we love this fic. this fic drastically changed my life its SO FUCKING GOOD. im a kinnchay hoe all the way and this is just *chefs kiss*

Performance Review by iffervescent @iffervescent

Rated E. No archive warnings apply. Summary:

Big wants to be good. Chan wants him to earn it.

this! fucking! series!!! i dont think i need to sell anyone on how amazing iffervescent is but goddamnit im gonna do it anyway. i very very rarely read bigchan but when i read the rest of the series i was like oh my god i HAVE to read this one and i DID. NOT. REGRET IT.

[bunnakit]

so fucking slowly making progress on this piece WHY DID I DECIDE TO DO THIS oh hey lets take this classic painting and turn it into our favorite ship

NO PAST PRISM DONT YOU HATE SHADING CLOTHES STOP

[muleumpyo]

meanwhile, after hours in chan's room...

[chanbig]

[wildelydawn]

KP Recfest List: Big Centric/BigChan Edition.

Alright friends, I'm going to use all my brave/courage stats to compose this list of Big-Centric and BigChan fic recs for @kprecfest. This list is definitely not complete, and I'm always looking for more BigChan fics or fics that center around Big as a character, so please feel free to rec your own!

In no particular order:

Student Paper Award by clandestinegardenias

Rating: E Pairing: Big/Chan Status: Completed Summary: "Chan has no doubt that Big sobs into his pillow every time Kinn hands him back a paper covered in red ink. That only makes Chan want him more." Why you should read this: Okay, firstly, I'm totally biased here. As someone who has pined after a professor throughout graduate school, I'm almost embarrassed with how much I related to Big here. Almost is the key word here because that's exactly why this story is so brilliant. Clandestinegardenias has brought my KinnPorsche university!AU dreams to life with just one fic. The pining Big has for Kinn is so well done, and how Chan begins to develop feelings toward Big through helping him with his paper is just *chef's kiss.* All the build up and all the angsty moments cultivate into a very explosive and satisfying ending. On top of this, the little details about research, about the tension in academics, the "and they're sharing offices!" addition. My heart! This fic and every part of it is all so well done that I am on my way to apply to another degree. (Jk... unless... 👀) Favorite line: "Later, they share a pizza and toast each other with bottles of Coke, and Chan tells himself it’s enough."

So lovers say by littlerietveld

Rating: E Pairing: Big/Chan Status: Ongoing (5/?) Summary: "big was never actually in love with kinn, everyone just thinks he is, so chan pretends to date him to put a stop to the rumours. feelings ensue." Why you should read this: Alright. I confess. I love fake dating as a trope, especially when one of the characters has power over another. This story takes this classic and beloved idea and adds a very real twist to it: that maybe everyone knew that Big is/was infatuated with Kinn. Big suffers for it, and the author does a really wonderful job with giving us how Big endures some of that gossip and judgement by detailing Big's workouts and his internal dialogue. Then, in steps Chan, who's facing his own budding feelings after proposing the fake dating. The setting and dialogue in this story make my heart giddy and make me want to throw my pillow. Favorite line: "'Give me a hickey,' Big says in a rush, unable to say anything else, unable to explain what he’s feeling, just needing something to prove his and Chan’s relationship; to show everyone that he is not in love with Kinn; to get them to stop believing this godforsaken rumour."

This Symphony is a Dance Between Us by The_Old_Astronomer

Rating: G Pairing: Big/Chan Status: Ongoing (1/2) Summary: "While recovering from getting shot, Chan leaves the medical wing for a walk and a much needed cigarette. He's out on a balcony, enjoying the night air, when he hears music nearby. Feeling drawn to it, he heads in the direction of the melody to find out who's playing. It's not who he expected at all." Why you should read this: Injured Chan?? Big being a pianist??? Is that not enough to convince you? If not, let Astro's beautiful writing be the reason why you join her BigChan agenda because she's doing a damn good job making it happen. First, I love the fact that Chan is injured in this fic. Seeing the head of the body guards at his most vulnerable is galaxy brain thinking on Astro's part. Second, the set up is actually so exquisitely simple but is so wonderfully developed. At the core of this story is Chan being drawn to beautiful music and then asking Big to continue playing. But Astro takes this and so many emotional and beautiful details to it. What can I say? I love a story that takes seemingly small moments and makes them utterly breathtaking. Astro's written another fantastic BigChan fic, so check that out too. Favorite line: "But hope is a tenacious thing. It’s resilient, like a tree; once the roots are entwined with the earth and the branches start growing, it can be hard to cut down. So despite Chan's intensely pragmatic nature, he waits and he hopes."

Drowning Like a Stone by Nyxelestia

Rating: T Pairing: Big & Chay, KimChay Status: Ongoing (7/?) Summary: "Despite Porsche's desperation and Kim's manipulation, Chay was hit hard by the events of Season 1. Five outside perspectives on Chay grappling with the aftermath of the mafia madness." Why you should read this: I went into this fic knowing that Nyxelestia would bring her phenomenal writing and character analysis into the KimChay fandom and I stayed because of that, but now I am absolutely rooted and emotionally invested because of how she develops the relationship between Big & Chay (and quite frankly, I'm adoring these chapters on them and wouldn't mind another 10 or 100 of them.) Nyxelestia gives a lot of depth to Big and also makes him absolutely hilarious. The idea of Big taking Chay under his wing, hearing him out, giving him lessons on the mafia life and more, is something so brilliant but also incredibly poignant because while Chay was betrayed by Kim, Big was betrayed by Ken, and to put these characters together!!! I just!! I am at a loss. After reading Chapter Five, I leaned back in my chair and whispered, "Oh fuck." Nyxelestia explores the implications of both of these betrayals with such great care, and for that, I am blown away. Favorite line: "In the quiet of the small lounge, Big wondered if his breathing sounded as loud to them as it did to him. Once upon a time, he’d wished someone would say those words to him, he’d dreamed of Kinn saying that to him. But now that it actually happened, Big felt…nothing." Runner up favorite line: "What the fuck did ‘stanned’ mean?"

push and pull by Martynax

Rating: E Pairing: Big/Kinn/Porsche, KinnPorsche Status: Completed Summary: "Look,” Big says, finding enough strength in his body to do this. “You don’t have to worry about me trying anything. You don’t have to tell me that Kinn is yours.” He assumes that that’s what Porsche is trying to do. “I know my place." ... Why you should read this: When this fic first came out, I was biting my fist the entire time. In case you didn't know, Martnax writes some top tier smut for the KinnPorsche fandom and Christ on a pogo stick, did they deliver that and more: with a threesome. Please. But before I get to how incredibly hot their writing is, I do need to point out that Martynax built such a painful and believable background and emotional state for post-canon Big in this story; the details about Big's mother, how he joined the bodyguards, his reluctance to talk to Porsche about his actions/feelings. But it's well balanced with the development of his new relationship with Kinn and Porsche. I, for one, could not stop smiling when Kinn and Porsche crash Big's movie night; the description of Porsche with his head in Big's lap is so sweet even though I know my mans is having a crisis. The ending to this fic is wonderful, emotional, and smutty: everything I would want in a KinnPorscheBig fic. Still hoping for a sequel. Favorite line: "The consequences could be too much. But he also understands that if he doesn’t at least try, he won’t ever forgive himself. He’s already poured his soul out to them, handing them his heart shouldn’t be that difficult."

All Along you were Blooming by mortimerlatrice & nuwildcat

Rating: E Pairing: Big/Tay, KinnPorsche Status: Ongoing (2/3) Summary: "Finding a second chance at love isn't something either of them thought was in the cards. Noticing that there was someone in front of you all along, takes something changing to open your eyes." ... Why you should read this: I don't even know where to begin with this one. I only read it for the first time a few week or so ago, and I've already revisited it a dozen times, not just because of the beautiful writing but also because of the jawdropping art. But let's start with the writing first; Tay is given so much voice and life in this story. If you told me his familial details, career, and background from this story are all canon, I would believe you, 100%. That's now much care nuwildcat puts into Tay's development, and you can expect that same amount of care and cultivation in all other aspects of this fic. For example, the cocktails. I know nothing about alcohol, but the descriptions of each drink were mouthwatering and so vivid. Pair this with Tay and Kinn being business associates! Incredible. But they're not the only dynamic duo; nuwildcat has given us a wonderful friendship between Porsche and Big: it begins with reluctance, but by the end of Chapter Two, we see Big, in all his fierce loyalty. Mind you, nuwildcat is writing this all while describing how Big falls out of love with Kinn and begins to fall for Tay. And if being graced with wonderful writing isn't enough, mortimerlace knocks you out with stunning art of both characters. There is something really captivating in mortimer's use of purples and I am loving it. The variants used in the first picture of Tay in Chapter One are exquisite. The details in the flowers are so well thought of. Mortimer's use of detail and line work really shine when it comes to each of the outfits, particularly Tay's lace bodice. However, my favorites have to be from Chapter Two; maybe it's because I'm biased, but something about these portraits of Big just made me blush; he looks that good. All in all, if you want a double whammy of fine art and writing, this is your fic. Favorite line: "...the sincerity in Big’s voice hits him like the recoil of a gun. Tay can’t remember the last compliment he got from Time that didn’t double as a come-on. The ache of that thought is an open wound he can’t help but press on. 'You know, when you say things like that Big, I actually believe them.'" Favorite art piece: Chapter Two's second picture of Big in his suit.

Gonna Fade You Like That Rush by giraffeter

Rating: E Pairing: Tay/Time/Big Status: Completed Summary: "Tay and Time run into Big on his night off. Kinn may not want to play with his own toys, but he's never told them they couldn't help themselves." Why you should read this: Listen. Big has been going through it. I think he deserves to have fun, and giraffeter delivers on that. Was I expecting that fun to come in the form of quick wit, humor, and Tay and Time convincing Big to follow them home? Absolutely not, but holy shit, am I here for it. Because girafetter's right; if Kinn won't have fun with his bodyguards, then maybe Tay and Time should. I love the set up in this fic; Big's at a bar and Tay and Time pounce as soon as they lay eyes on him. I love Big's subtle discomfort while being in a bar and how he's a bit unsure of how to place himself among Time and Tay. since they are Kinn's friends. And to put all of this in a post-Tawan background really amplifies that feeling. I'm obsessed with how flirty and forward Tay is here too, how he demands to be in charge. Not to mention the internal thoughts Tay has throughout the story. All of this is compounded by very hot smut. Big fans are truly blessed and thankful. Favorite line: "He has no idea how long it takes them to drive to Tay and Time's place. He's focused on controlling his breathing, on not shivering apart or coming in his underwear while they touch him in an idle, almost desultory way. Occasionally they exchange a heated look across his body, one that lets Big know that he is completely, totally (and in the best way possible) fucked."

Alright! That's all I've got for you, Big. For now, at least. I hope these lovely authors/creators and the fandom continue to write about you, my favorite bodyguard, the one with the most pure heart. 🖤

[onlyonewoman]

Chan *walking in on the bodyguards having a “secret” midnight cooking*: What’s going on here? Pete *panicked smile*: Oh, uhm... Just... hungry, sir... Chan: ... Pol *sweating*: W-we’re picking up on... work, sir! Chan: ... Porsche *under his breath*: Idiot... Arm *internally*: Why do I love this man? Why? Why oh why?! Chan: Big? Big *slurping up a mouthful of noodles*: I’m the work, sir.  Chan: ... What...? Big *wiping his mouth*: Yeah, Pol decided I needed to be weighed and then he freaked out over a few poun... Pete: It was more than a few pounds... Porsche: I caught you trying to sew in your pants on Tankhun’s sewing machine. Arm: A disgrace, really. Chan: *not being payed nearly enough for this* Sewing... machine...? How much did...? Big: Oh, it’s nothing to worr... Pol: YOU LITERALLY DROPPED YOUR PANTS BEFORE OUR EYES! Chan: ... Pol: DESPITE USING A BELT!  Pete *trying to smooth things over*: Ahahaha, yeah, so... Sir, as you see we decided to... intervene and... huh?! Chan: *calmly walking up to Big, waiting for him to stop chewing, then throwing him over his shoulder* Big: Hey?! Arm: Sir, it’s not his fault, we literally forc... Porsche: What are...? Chan: I’M PICKING UP WORK, YOU LITTLE SHITS! And you better clean this up and go to bed now!  Big: It was nice knowing you all. Except you, Porsche. Chan: *marching out with his boy* Pete: Oh, boy... Daddy’s angry...  Pol: He’s gonna skin him alive... Arm: No one’s gonna find Big’s body... Porsche: Anyone gonna finish those noodles...? *twenty minutes later, in Chan’s private room* Chan: *exasperated, trying to sound stern* I really shouldn’t need to do this. This wasn’t in my fucking job description! I’m sorry, Big, but I’m at my wits end and hope you’ll learn from this! Big: *wrapped up in blankets, being spoon fed soup, brain blank, trying to comprehend what just happened* Uh-huh. Learning, yes, I’m... learning...  Chan: *steadily losing his cool* And have you even been sleeping properly? You’re warm, is that a fever? You’ve not done your stretching routine right either, have you? And is that a wrinkled cuff?! Big: *muttering to himself* This wasn’t the type of daddy I was going for, but whatever...

[ae-azile]

how do you think chanbig would propose to each other? 👀

Oooh, this one is hard since their screentime is limited, so I am going off of what we have seen/fanon/personal headcanon.

I think Big's long-term unrequited love for Kinn likely made him feel slightly undesirable for a while. In a universe where he and Chan live through the close calls from their injuries, heal together, and become very close, there would likely be an adjustment period for both of them. Big is in love with someone he has known, cared for, and trusted for a long time who ISN'T Kinn. He feels so safe with Chan. As for Chan, he is extremely guarded and spent his life dedicating his time to another family. Loving Big almost seems selfish at first.

However, once Chan pulls himself out of that mindset, he can see Big has been so touch-starved, desperate for love, and is very committed to this relationship. It would take a while for either of them to think of marriage. It only happens when Chan himself starts to open up more to Big and become more comfortable being more openly loving and expressive with his affection. I think Chan knows of Big's past unrequited feelings for Kinn, but he can see that they aren't an issue. Big is now in love with Chan, and he is likely a bit clingy at times. It's almost as if he believes Chan may change his mind, pull away, or announce that Big misunderstands Chan's true feelings. Even under the slightest disagreements (usually occuring because Big's insecurities get the best of him or Chan getting overly protective) Big needs reassurance.

While Chan never saw himself getting married, he finds himself liking the idea of taking that step with Big. While there are a few concerns (falling more deeply in love and the strengthening fear of loss due to their lifestyles, the age difference, etc), he decides to take that step. He finds Big a subtle but tasteful ring, and plans a proposal.

The thing is, Chan isn't the best with words or romantic gestures. They aren't necessarily his thing. He expresses his love through acts of service and comfort. The only thing Chan can think of that won't come off as completely out of character is taking Big on a vacation to a relaxing location he has always wanted to go to. He wants to make the trip about Big, become closer with him, and when the timing feels right, he will ask.

The timing never feels right. There are opportunities at romantic locations, but Chan gets uncharacteristically nervous and doesn't pop the question. It only feels right on their last morning there. They are watching the sun rise on a beach. Chan glances over and is hit with SO much love when he sees how content and peaceful Big looks, then digs into his pocket and pulls out the box. He takes Big's hand, puts the box into his palm, then lets go as he looks at the sunrise again.

"Your call."

Big is shocked. He's delighted, but he's shocked. And for the first time, he needs to hear the words. He needs that clarification and says as much.

"I need you to say it. Please."

Even though it is hard for Chan, he can't deny Big of any request he makes, especially as something as simple as this. It feels extremely hard to say - harder than anything he has ever done for the major family - but Chan logically knows it is so simple. He loves Big and wants to commit himself to him.

"I love you. I want to spend whatever is left of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

The answer for Big is just as easy. He doesn't hesitate in saying yes. They both let themselves smile in a way they were no longer sure they had the ability of, and they extend their trip for another week because they now both know they deserve it.

Thank you @chanbig for the ask! It was so interesting to answer!

[kendrickkittycat]

Big: He said I was homophobic! Can you believe that?

Chan: I can’t believe it.

Big: Me, of all people! Fucking Porsche!

Chan: Big?

Big: Mmm?

Chan: Can you not talk about Porsche while I’m /inside/ of you.

Big: Ooooh. Of course, love.