#Blood Rose Incorrect Quotes

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

tentacleTherapist: If a vampire were to steady my throat by wrapping her hand around it and maneuvering it so she can feed from my neck, I don’t think she would get anything. On account of all the blood immediately rushing down to my

tipsyGnostalgic: <checks pronouns>

tipsyGnostalgic: op passed out halfway through writing this on account of all the blood rushing down to her

uranianUmbra: Everyone on here is so polite! Thank yoU!

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Hero of Kvatch: Close your eyes, I have a surprise!

Martin: Woah, did you do the dishes?

Hero of Kvatch: I said surprise, Martin, not a miracle.

Hero of Kvatch: *hands Martin the Sanguine Rose*

Martin: 😑

[spahhzy]

Nora: Ahhh, it must have been that Ruby Rose stroke of genius to build her workshop in hell dimension because that could never end badly.

Ruby: We will end it, and rest assured, Nora, I wouldn't deprive you of the chance to kill your other self.

[kittievampire]

I came because I was in love with your obey me yandere smut! So...can I have something similar to "Mine" but with Simeon 🥺🥺🥺? Please!

Please ignore me if you’re not comfortable with this request.

Honestly, anon, it's sinful that'd you'd request such a thing of me! I couldn't possibly write something like that for Simeon! I'll have you know that he is a man of God, an ANGEL and if you think okay the people who think Simeon shouldn't be depicted this way are gone now, lemme see what I have in my bag, my dear~

Click here if you wanna request!

Cleansed

Warnings: Dark themes, Cursing, Blood, Violence, Yandere! Simeon x Fem! MC, Virgin! MC, Smut, Teasing, Baby-Trapping, Murder, Manipulation, Obsession, Guilt-Tripping, Somnophilia (MC gets put to sleep), Most likely an incorrect quote from the bible, Fingering, Breeding Kink, Creampie, Non-Con/Rape to Dub-Con

🚨READ THE WARNINGS CAREFULLY AND PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANY TAGS🚨

Enjoy.

Simeon never knew that he could feel this way about someone.

What he felt exactly, he couldn't say. He couldn't put a finger on it— couldn't put it into words if asked. If he had to describe it, he'd probably say it was something that made him feel like his heart would leap out of his chest with its intense and rapid beating, something that made him want to be close to you, something that made him want to follow you to the ends of the Devildom and back (which may have been literal on some explorative occasions).

Either way, there was one thing this angel knew for a fact.

He had to have you.

This sense of possessiveness started out small. He would follow you around all day, walk you home most nights, and wonder what you were up to when he wasn't by your side. It was always so curious to him how a little human such as yourself suddenly became a being he held of higher regard and importance than Michael, though he'd never tell his higher-up such information.

However, it didn't take long for this obsession to grow.

Simeon was convinced that this was his Father's plan. That he was meant to feel this way about you, that you were meant to be his. Every night, he'd find himself praying, not only for your well-being and fortune, but also for a romantic relationship to blossom from your friendship.

It was the word of the Father, of course.

What God has joined together, let no man seperate. We must guard our union, so that the outside world cannot seperate it.

He has to protect you, no matter what. Especially from the vile lower demons that want a piece of you. Simeon wouldn't dare even think of harming one of the brothers, they were his brothers once, too; Nor did he believe that any of your friends should be hurt. But those that you were uncomfortable with? Those that you didn't know on a personal level? Those that wanted you? Their vary existence was sinful.

They must be cleansed.

_

"Simeon, what is this?"

Your voice was so sweet. It made him feel weak in the knees. Though, he couldn't afford to lose his composure now. Not when he'd finally mustered up the courage to ask you out on a date.

Well, it was a date you were unaware of. But he put his everything into it! You might as well think of it as such out of appreciation!

The angel smiled, motioning toward the empty seat in front of him. He'd managed to convince the owner of this restaurant to place a table on the second-floor balcony. He wanted to be able to see how the moonlight made your features glow.

Simeon had told you to dress formally for this dinner, but you didn't expect the setting to be this fancy! To say you were excited was an understatement.

You sat down in front of him, clasping your hands together as you tried to process your surroundings. "Wow, Simeon, this is truly amazing... I can't thank you enough, but I am curious about the occasion," You ask softly, a small blush forning on your face.

The angel chuckled softly, lifting one of his hands to gently caress the petal on one of the roses that the vase in the middle of the table held. "One as divine as yourself must be treated to such things, wouldn't you agree?" His voice sounded so sweet to your ears, reminding you of the vanilla sweets he and Luke would bake for you.

"Hi, welcome to... MC?"

You snapped your head to the side, looking up at the waiter approaching your table. Your face paled as you recognized the familiar demon standing before you. It was an incubus that had hit on you recently, the only one you didn't tell Simeon about. "Toran?" You murmured softly, earning a nod from the waiter. "Where have you been? Why haven't you responded to any of my texts, huh? You too good for me or somethin'?" The demon before you suddenly became more aggressive than you felt comfortable dealing with. Simeon could sense your growing discomfort and stood, approaching the waiter. "Excuse me, I don't believe this is appropriate conduct for someone in your position, may I request we get another waiter?" He asked, earning a scoff from the demon whose name he couldn't bother to remember. "Hey, I'm not talking to you, yeah? Why don't you-" "Toran!" You shouted, catching the attention of both of the gentlemen before you. "I... I gave you the wrong number, I'll give it to you. Please, just leave us alone, yes?"

Simeon's face contorted into that of a disgusted look, one that you didn't see.

Why the hell were you even entertaining the idea of giving your information to this asshole? You were supposed to be with him, not this foul demonic garbage. "That won't be necessary, MC," Simeon said with a warm smile, the demon turning to face him. "What the hell do you-" "I'd like to request a change in waiters, please. I don't think you'd want your higher-ups to know about this, so I suggest you do everything you can to make things right!"

He truly was angelic, wasn't he?

You couldn't help but smile a bit, feeling your heart thump against your chest as your cheeks heated up. You looked away for a moment, trying to calm yourself down.

Simeon glanced at you before he roughly grabbed the waiter by his collar and pulled him close. "It'd be in your best interest not to anger me. That girl is the only reason you're still breathing, demon," He whispered into the demon's ear before pushing him away.

Your gaze met the angel's and you couldn't help but blush once more. "A-Ah! Did he finally leave? I'm so sorry, Simeon. I didn't know he worked here! He's been harassing me for the past few weeks, and I just don't know what to do anymore." You started rambling, Simeon sitting down before you and listening closely to every single word that left those lovely lips of yours. They looked so soft.

However, he couldn't forget the sheer audacity of that demon. His presence, his words, his existence, all of it was a sin that must be cleansed. How dare he even breathe in your direction? It all frustrated the angel.

That's okay. Simeon would deal with him later. He had to comfort his lover now. "That sounds horrible! Have you told anyone else about this?" He asked reaching over the table and gently grasping your hand. You turned away from his gaze bashfully, blush only growing darker as you felt his eyes pierce through you. "No, you're the only one that knows about him."

Simeon felt his heart pound against his chest at this. He was the only person you trusted enough to tell? Oh, you're so dependent on him, just how it should be. What a good girlfriend you are, even if you didn't know it yet. "I see," He managed to murmur out softly, a light chuckle escaping his lips as you met his gaze once more.

"I'll do with this information what I can to help you, MC. I promise,"

_

Simeon splashed water over Toran's tied-up body, causing the demon to wake up in a panic. Though, his sounds of confusion were muffled by the gag in his mouth. Simeon's hand shot forward, gripping either side of his face and forcing him to meet his gaze. "Disgusting," He muttered softly, a glare making its way to the angel's face. He scoffed and pushed Toran's head away from him, taking a step back and pinching his chin between his thumb and index finger. "Ah, what was your name again?" He asked, voice shifting back to the one he wore normally. The one that angels such as himself were expected to wear. "Toran, I believe, yes?" He asked softly, adjusting his black gloves as he turned his back to the demon. "MC requested I not get you in too much trouble with your higher-ups if I take action. She really is sweet, isn't she?"

Simeon turned around, brushing his gloved fingers over the blade in his hand. "You see, I believe that MC is far too divine to be saddened by someone such as yourself. I believe it is my duty as an angel to expel any unhappiness from her life as I see fit." He made his way over to the demon, gently pressing the sharp tip of the blade against his chin. "I'm like her guarding angel in that way, aren't I? I'd make such a good husband, don't you think? If I asked her to marry me... No, she'd be weirded out by such a thing. I have to ask her to be my girlfriend first, don't I?" Simeon's list of questions was left unanswered, but the sound of the demon muffling something under the gag while he was talking only irritated the demon's captor further. "Has no one taught you manners?" He sliced the bottom of the demon's chin, blood spilling out, and a muffled cry erupted from Toran's throat.

"I truly don't appreciate how you treat MC... It truly is unfortunate. You must be cleansed, demon." He pushed the blade against Toran's chest.

"I will do what I must to protect my human,"

_

Simeon loved you. He loved you more than anything else in this world, more than he loved himself, more than he loved his Father. He just couldn't bare the thought of you rejecting him is all! That's the only reason why this happened.

You were close, so close to finding out his secret. So close to finding the corpses. He wrapped his hand over your mouth and nose and began to chant a sleeping spell into your ear softly, and when you fell limp in his arms, he placed you on the bed.

Now, you looked so beautiful, so innocent, so carefree. He couldn't help but be drawn to your divinity. The way your skirt was pushed up by the duvet slightly, showing him the plush of your thigh. The blush on his face was dark, as were his eyes.

He had to claim you.

In the blink of an eye, he was between your legs, sliding your panties off of you from beneath your skirt, his breath hitching as he saw your pussy. He could feel a lump of saliva form in his throat as he slowly lowered his hand, running two gloved fingers down your slit. Simeon stared at your cunt, not blinking, not moving anything but his hand. He was infatuated with your body, and the only thing that was missing was your whimpers and pleas for him to keep going. Slowly, he pushed his fingers into you, your velvety walls welcoming the digits.

You were tight.

You were a virgin.

A whimper poured from your lips as he shoved his fingers all the way inside of you, his knuckles meeting your entrance. Simeon glanced up at your face to see your expression change, brows knitting together as your lips parted ever so slightly. However, you gave no signal of consciousness. He reached his free hand forward as he began to slowly thrust his fingers into you, making scissoring movements to stretch you. With his free hand he parted your black RAD jacket and unbuttoned your teal underblouse.

Simeon's breathing hitched once more as he saw the white bra you were wearing, taking a moment to think about this situation. You were asleep and vulnerable, and here he was, defiling you. He looked down at his hand, eyes widening at how your essence clung to his fingers.

You wanted him too.

"Haah... I knew it," He muttered out softly, a smile forming on his face. "I knew you wanted me, you naughty girl. Your body's so honest with me."

Biting his lip, he slowly pushed a third finger into you. At the same time, he hooked his index finger around the middle of your bra, pulling it down, and allowing your breasts to spill out. Immediately, his hand groped your mound, squeezing the soft flesh and allowing a chill to run down his spine as he thrusted his fingers faster. "Come on, my dear, give me an orgasm," He said, voice full of desperation, making it seem more like he was begging you. "I need to see you cum for me, darling."

Soft moans and gasps erupted from your throat, and he felt your thighs pushing against his hand. He frowned, pushing your thighs further apart and positioning himself inbetween your legs. "None of that, Dove," He said softly, feeling the heat that pooled around his fingers go straight to his cock. His thumb reached up to trace circles over your clit, causing you to whine and squirm in your sleep.

He felt your walls tightening, excitement coursing through his veins as he thrusted his fingers faster into you, gloved hand soaked, and hand squeezing your breast. "Almost there, Dove," He almost whimpered out, cock twitching. Your hands moved downward, almost as if unconsciously trying to hide yourself from the stimulation.

Your eyes shot wide open and you let out a cry of pleasure as your orgasm came crashing down, coating Simeon's hand in your juices. His movements slowed, allowing you to ride out your orgasm.

Your blurry vision slowly began to re-focus, allowing you to see the angel before you. A sheepish smile appeared on his face as he pulled his hand away, pressing a finger to his tongue to get a taste of your cum. "Simeon?" You panted out softly.

Simeon's hand pushed his white pants and boxers down, freeing his hardened cock, pink tip oozing with precum. "I'm so sorry, my little Dove," He said softly, your eyes going wide as he spread your legs, cock pressing gently against your opening. "I wanted to wait... Ask you to go out with me, then after we got married, I'd take you in a more..." He paused, trying to search for the right adjective. "Romantic setting." Simeon's cock grinded gently against you. "You see, Dove—" You felt him push into you, and you gasped, hands immediately clamping over your mouth. His mouth fell open, letting out a soft groan as he felt your cunt suck him in. "You're just... So— Hnngh!— Tempting!" He slammed himself all the way inside of you, hips meeting yours as he bottomed out.

Tears fell from your eyes at the stretch and you felt his hands on your thighs, guiding them so that your legs would wrap around his waist. "You'll forgive me, right?" He murmured out softly, nuzzling his face into the valley between your breasts. "I'm only doing all of this because I love you." Simeon's eyes met yours and you could feel your body tremble. "S-Simeon, I-I wanted... To wait—" "Wait until when, Dove?!" He suddenly became more aggressive, face now inches away from yours, cock pushing against your cervix, making you whine. "Until one of those vile demons got to you? That isn't an option! You were going to make love to me on the night of our wedding, what difference does it make that I take you here?" He huffed out.

You'd never seen him so angry before, nor have you ever seen him act so possessive before. He pulled his hips back, only to shove them forward again. You moaned loudly, closing your eyes and allowing more tears to fall. "You should be grateful..." He muttered, closing his eyes to try and maintain some of his composure. The contradiction in his words hardly meant anything to your hazy mind. While you did take a moment to realize that he just apologized for waiting before scolding you for wanting the same, the way he started to pound into you made your brain turn to mush.

"That it was me who was here instead of some random demon. I don't know what I would've done if someone deflowered you before I got the chance to, they might've ended up like the others!"

You flinched at this statement, looking up at Simeon through teary eyes. "O-Others?" He scoffed, burying his face into the crook of your neck to leave dark hickies that couldn't be hidden. When you didn't get an answer, you debated on asking him again, but he interrupted your confusion with a slam right into the spot that made you see stars.

You cried out, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to you, feeling a knot begin to tighten in your stomach. "S-Simeon! G-Gonna c-cum soon!" You whined out, bucking your hips upward to get more friction between the two of you, hoping for further stimulation.

Simeon knitted his brows together as a thought came to mind. Perhaps if you were pregnant, everyone, including you, would know that you were his. Maybe if he got you attached to him in such a permanent manner, you'd never think about another man. Yes, that sounded absolutely divine. It sounded right.

"MC," He moaned out against your jawline, pressing a kiss to it before he moved upward so his lips were beside your ear. "I'm gonna cum inside you, okay?"

"W-What?!" You flinched, regaining consciousness almost immediately before almost being completely fucked out of it again. Simeon sighed softly against you, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "I'm gonna make you— Ngh!— A mamaaa..." He dragged out the last syllable as a blush formed on his face, feeling his orgasm nearing as his pace quickened and his thrusts became more desperate and rough. The tip of his cock bullied your cervix, making you nearly scream in pleasure. "You'll be good for me, right? Y-You'll take all of my cum? Carry my child for me? You love me don't you?"

Your walls convulsed and you screamed as you came, juices coating his length. "Y-Yes," You whimpered out softly, being rewarded with the smile that you'd grown to love on him. "My Dove," He moaned out softly, burying himself deep inside of you and grunting as you felt him paint your insides white. You could feel him filling you up to the brim, womb full, pussy throbbing and drooling with his cum, even though he hadn't moved. There was just so much. You'd never felt this full before.

He slammed into you a few more times, trying to ride out the pleasure of his orgasm, as well as fuck his seed deep within you, before slowly pulling out. The sight of his cum oozing out of you made him blush, looking up at your panting, exhausted form.

Simeon smiled, caressing your tear-stained cheek with the hand that wasn't dirtied, pressing a warm and passionate kiss to your lips. He felt his heart skip a beat when you returned the favor. Reluctantly, though he had to breathe, he pulled away.

"I'll do everything I can to keep you safe and with me, Dove... Even if it means I have to resort to desperate measures,"

Holy fuck, that was a long ass train ride. I hope you liked it, anon, cause I know some of your horny asses did!

MASTERLIST

[cantst0pw0ntstop12]

Some incorrect quotes

ok so i was bored and i asked chatgpt to whip up some incorrect quotes and here are some gems,

Grover: I've been learning how to blend in with humans better. Percy: Really? How's that going? Grover: Well, yesterday I accidentally ordered a pizza with extra grass toppings.

Percy: I heard being a demigod is dangerous. Chiron: Yes, Percy, it is. Percy: So... do you have life insurance for us?

Annabeth: Percy, I found a loophole in the prophecy. Percy: Really? What is it? Annabeth: We can avoid the prophecy if we just stay in bed all day. Percy: Now that's a quest I can get behind.

Percy: I'm going to start a demigod support group. Annabeth: What would you call it? Percy: "Half-Blood Anonymous: One Step Closer to Therapy."

Grover: I've been practicing my pan flute skills. Percy: That's great, Grover. Maybe you can serenade the monsters away next time.

Grover: I'm tired of being underestimated because I'm a satyr. Percy: Don't worry, Grover. You're like a fine wine. You get better with every quest.

Percy: I just realized something. Annabeth: What is it? Percy: If demigods are half-human and half-god, does that mean we're only half-responsible for our actions?

Grover: Annabeth, what's the craziest thing Percy's ever done? Annabeth: Where do I begin? One time, he tried to negotiate with a cyclops by offering him a fruit basket.

Grover: I've decided to take up gardening. Percy: Gardening? That's unexpected. Grover: Yeah, I figure if I can't find Pan, I'll grow my own nature god.

Grover: I'm not just a satyr, I'm also a poet. Percy: Really? Can you give us a sample? Grover: clears throat "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a satyr, and I like... uh... tin cans."

Grover: Do you ever wonder if the gods have group chats? Percy: That would explain a lot, actually. Like why it takes them so long to respond to prayers.

I think they were worth sharing

[queer-devil]

Drdt Incorrect Quotes

Warning: A lot of these are probably ooc but I was just having fun so yeah

All of these were made using quotes from https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator, my favorite quote generator

Whit, barging in: Syphilis! 
Charles: 
Whit: 
Charles: Pardon?

David: Thank you all for coming. 
Xander, wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here. 
David: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck David Task Force". 
Teruko: Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way.

Levi: Ace is mad at me, and I'm not sure why. 
Hu: Okay, did you talk before he got upset? 
Levi: ...yes? 
Hu: That's probably it.

Veronika: We all have our demons. 
Veronika, grabbing Arturo: This one’s mine.

Ace: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT! 
Charles: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone. 
Ace: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch? 
Charles: Somehow that's worse.

Whit: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds? 
Charles: Yes? 
Whit: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days. 
Charles: Fuck. 
Whit: It's gonna be a fun week! 
Charles: I'm going to Teruko’s house. 
Whit: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.

Rose: Big day today, Nico. *holds up two shirts* Mustard stain or ketchup stain? 
Nico: Mustard– looks less like blood.

J: I'm going to get myself some soup. 
Veronika: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot. 
J: Pfft, I won't burn myself. 
*30 seconds later* 
J, entering the room: I burned myself.

Charles: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. 
Teruko: *Gives him a strange look and hands them a piece of gum* 
Charles: *Thinking* Gum would be perfection. Gum would be perfection. I could have said gum would be nice, could have said I'll have a stick. But no no no no no, for me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.

Min: "29-34 Give a particular ecosystem and explain how could it be protected." 
Xander: Forests, stop cutting down trees and don't hold gender reveal parties anywhere near them.

Veronika: You know, I used to play back in my gory days. 
J: You mean glory days? 
Veronika: Ah, that too.

Veronika: Go ahead, Charles. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry. 
Min: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.

Eden: What's worse than a heartbreak? 
Nico: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

Min: You can’t have a gun on stage! 
Veronika: WRONG AGAIN! I can have a gun, and I must have a gun, that’s the rule of Chekhov’s Gun: have a gun. And now that it’s been seen, I will have to shoot someone before the end of the play.

Eden: I'm so happy, I could kiss you! 
Teruko: Um...Neat. 
*later* 
Teruko, lying face down on her bed: I said "Neat," Xander. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid. 
Xander, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Teruko. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when David confessed his love for me? 
Teruko: Didn't you thank him? 
Xander: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked him.

Whit: Adulting is hard. 
Whit: How do I quit? 
Eden: Time travel!
Veronika: Die.

Charles: I feel like doing something stupid. 
Whit: I’m stupid, do me.

Veronika: Teruko, what do you have? 
Teruko: A KNIFE! 
Veronika: Okay, have fu- 
J: NO!

Veronika: Between Teruko, Arei, David, and me -- if you had to -- who would you punch? 
Eden: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them. 
Veronika: David? 
Eden: Yeah, but I don't know why.

Charles: As a functional adult- 
Whit: *chuckles* 
Charles: … As a functional adult—

Eden: Where’s Veronika? 
Whit: Around. 
Eden: Around? 
Eden: You don’t have any idea, do you? 
Veronika, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

J, texting: Arei, will you please go to sleep? 
Arei, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up? 
J, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP! 
J, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon? 
Arei, texting: I’m trying 
J, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH 
J, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :)

Nico: I feel awful about killing you. 
Ace: 
Nico: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

Eden: Why can’t we all just get along? 
David: Because most of us are assholes, Eden.

[i-am-kat-hi]

DRDT as incorrect quotes

Hu: I am the most responsible person in the group. Levi: …You just set the kitchen on fire. Hu: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.

Eden: What do I get? Rose: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death. Eden: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one. Rose: It won't be you. Eden: I'll get my coat.

Ace: You have to apologize to them, Arturo. Arturo: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

Whit: You might not know this, Nico, but I am a flawed person. Nico: I do know that.

Veronika, about Xander: He's covered in blood again. Why is it that he is always covered in blood? Whit: Well, it looks like it's his own blood this time.

Teruko: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you. Teruko: Ask me to kill for you. Eden: ...First of all, calm down-

Xander: You say “Please” and “Thank you” in front of Eden all the time, and they never repeat it. Xander: But you call Ace “Ass-faced motherfucker” ONE TIME…

Teruko: You really believe in Nico? Veronika: Mmm… Luckily, they believe in themself enough for the both of us.

Whit, lying on the floor, depressed: I'll never be a cop. I'm gonna have to be a robber.

Nico: If I say yes am I joining a cult? David: Possibly. Nico: I’m in.

Whit, talking about J: Y’know, you never mentioned an intern. Min: That’s because they’re not officially an employee, they’re unpaid. Whit: You don’t pay them?! Min: They get college credit. Whit: Are you sure your not evil?

Min: I need life advice. Whit, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Incorrect quotes

Thanks @mysticstarlightduck here!

Rules: use this [edit: forgot the link] incorrect quotes generator to generate incorrect quotes for your OCs!

Hehe I love this one

Ash: Noelle, I know you love Jedi. I mean, we all do, he's a very nice person and I respect him immensely.

Ash: But I think he might be a fucking idiot.

Jedi: You borrowed a crane?

Robbie: Not exactly.

Gwen: You stole a crane?!

Robbie: Exactly.

Robbie: Hey Rose, do you have any hobbies?

Rose: Swimming..

Robbie: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to-

Rose: In a pool of self hatred and regret.

Noelle: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!

Robbie: This unmitigated poppycock?

Akash: Extravagant hogwash!

Noelle: Okay, stop.

Rose: Stop thinking whatever you're thinking.

Robbie: Huh?

Rose: You always make that face when you're about to say something stupid just to piss me off. So cut it out-

Robbie: I love you.

Rose:

Robbie:

Robbie: Also, cereal qualifies as a soup.

Rose: I KNEW IT!!

Kelsey: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.

Gwen: Why?

Kelsey, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.

Lexi: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Kelsey: Apparently, we're not.

Gwen: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight?

Ash: Why?

Gwen: Lexi fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours.

Akash: Robbie doesn't know how to banish spirits, so he just threw salt at them and yelled "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Lexi, on the phone: What’s up, Gwen?

Gwen: I’m sitting in a pool of blood.

Lexi: …Um, is it YOUR blood?

Gwen: I think so.

Lexi: Do you know where the blood’s coming from?

Gwen: Probably the stab wound.

Lexi: YOU’VE BEEN STABBED?!

Gwen: Oh, yeah, definitely.

Akash: Don’t stay up all night, Carmen. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

Maddie: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

Robbie: I have seen a lot of murders in my time, and all six of them were today.

Carmen: *mixing different alcoholic beverages together*

Gwen: What are you making?

Carmen: A mistake.

Noelle: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.

Maddie: We could attack them with hummus.

Noelle: I stand corrected.

Maddie: Just keeping things in perspective.

This was awesome

Tagging @leahnardo-da-veggie @mk-writes-stuff @melpomene-grey @lesleymoonwriter @winterandwords

+ ANYONE ELSE

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites

[cdragons]

Persephone!Eternal Reader (Sephia) & Hecate!Eternal Reader (Kaetlyn) Masterlist

All these works have these two characters together, but they will have ships featured

The big brain idea that started all this- Mostly Ikaris x Sephia, but ft. Kaetlyn x Druig, and Sephia & Kaetlyn

General Ikaris x Persephone!Eternal Reader Headcanons - mostly Ikaris x Sephia, but ft. Kaetlyn x Druig, and Sephia & Kaet

Sephia & Kaetlyn Vaguely Sapphic Friendship Headcanons - mostly Sephia & Kaetlyn, but also ft. Druig and Ikaris (sort of)

Druig x Hecate!Eternal Reader AKA Kaetlyn Headcanons - mostly Druig x Kaetlyn; ft. Sephia & Kaet

Eternals STEM Trio Headcanons - typical ships and pairings, but also ft. platonic Phastos x reader(s)

Should I make Druig and Kaetlyn Parents?- Druig x Hecate!Eternal Reader

Blood & Pain - Druig x Hecate!Eternal Reader Halloween Oneshot

Fall Family Chaos Fun - Ikaris x Persephone!Eternal Reader Halloween Oneshot

Procesión de la Muerte- Druig x Hecate!Eternal Reader Halloween Oneshot, ft. Hamish (Druig & Kaet's son/youngest baby)

Fashion Mistakes - Ikaris x Persephone!Eternal Reader ft. Druig x Hecate!Eternal Reader

La Vie En Rose - Ikaris x Persephone!Reader; SMUT, MDNI 18+

Truce - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Mostly Ikaris x Sephia, but also ft. Kaetlyn x Druig

From the Beginning - A Sephia & Kaetlyn Drabble

ft. hints of Ikaris x Sephia, and Druig x Kaetlyn

BITCH, WHAT?! - An Eternals STEM Trio Drabble

ft. typical ships and pairings, but also ft. platonic Phastos x reader(s)

Memes for Persephone!Eternal Reader & Hecate!Eternal Reader AU

More Eternals & Eternal!OCs Memes w/ Incorrect Quotes

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

DAVE: did you guys know cherries arent naturally red theyre dyed with the blood of ferrets

DIRK: Actually, no joke, the marachino cherries you put on sundaes really aren’t red. They’re made from cherries like the Queen Anne variety, which are yellow and pink. They are dyed red.

DAVE: yeah with the blood of ferrets

ROSE: Fact I didn’t just make up: It's often with insect-derived dyes, which is why some brands are not kosher.

DAVE: ferrets are the largest known insect

[samiwife]

omg thank god its like impossible to find ppl that will write male readers BUT TO MY REQUEST a vamp male reader x steven adler? :3 fluff or smut i dont rlly mind either!!

OH, this will be fun to write <3 Okay! I'll try! THANKS 4 THE REQUEST (Sorry this story is a little late but I've been busy with other things haha)

Blood and Wine 𓆩♡𓆪 (Steven Adler x Reader)

𓆩♡𓆪= Smut

ੈ✩‧₊˚= Fluff

⋆ ★= Angst

𓆩⟡𓆪 = Headcanons

☾ ⋆*= Incorrect Quotes

TW: Blood, gay-sex, degradation, etc (Reader Discretion is advised)

Steven had a blood kink for sure. He'll never admit it but he does. During sex, he'll love it when you bite down on him. He likes the sense of pain and pleasure it comes with. Steven loved your sharp fangs. He thought it was both sexy and powerful. Steven liked men who were needy and demanding. You only used Steven's blood during sex. You always have other substitutes for blood. Like animal blood or your own blood. One night, you were feeling morning and longing for Steven. Maybe it was the wine you drank that night or the fact that you were just that horny. You called out to Steven.

"Steven baby, come here." You whined. Steve came rushing into the bedroom and smirked. Steven admired your body and gently bit his bottom lip.

"Yes baby, what do you need?" Steven asked coming closer to you. You chuckled and whispered in Steven's ear gently.

"I need you now, could you help me?" You asked needily. Steven smirked wider and ran his hands down your fragile body. You gasped and huffed for Steven. Steven sucked on your neck which drove you crazy for him.

"Strip for me," Steven demanded. You listened and did as Steven demanded. His domination made you so much horny for him. Steven stripped as well. and began sucking on your soft skin. You moaned for him to fuck you. Steven hushed you and wrapped his finger around your member and began to jerk up and down. You couldn't hold in your moans much longer. You were loudly moaning his name, demanding he just fuck you already. Steven smirked menacingly and pounded his member deep in your prostate. Causing you to scream out.

"You like it when I fuck you like this. You're such a fucking slut for me Y/N." Steven said under his breath as he fucked you harder and harder. You clawed your nails deep into his back leaving bright red marks. Steven groaned due to the pain you numbered on him.

"Agh, god Y/N. It hurts but god I love it." Steven said thrusting into you harder and deeper hitting your prostate deeper. As Steven thrusted he jerked your member faster and faster. You clawed harder and harder which caused Steven to bleed from his back.

"S-Steven, I-I'm about to come." You managed to squeak out. Steven thrusted slower to catch a break. You huffed as Steven still jerked you off.

"Me too baby, come for me," Steven said slowing down his hand motion. You catch your breath as you release in Steven's hand. It was warm and sticky. Steven smiled and soon you felt your hole fill up with Steven's fluids. Steven pulls out and collapses next to you.

"My god, you are a fucking devil," Steven said leaning on his side since his back was still wounded. You smiled and ran your finger through his hair.

"Steven, your blood's scent is making me hungry." You said blushing as you stared at Steven. Steven sat up and faced his back towards you.

"Then why don't you lick it up?" Steven said smirking behind his shoulder. You smiled faintly and licked up the blood off of Steven. The scent smelt as it tasted, It tasted sweet like cherries and smelt like fresh roses from the fields. You savored the flavor and tilted your head back in ecstasy and euphoria. After feeding off of Stevn, you placed small kisses around Steven's shoulder and cheek. Steven held your head on his shoulder and caressed your head.

"You complete me," Steven said smiling and kissing your head.

"You complete me too." You said looking up at him smiling with your fangs showing.

[thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles]

Die First

Max Mayfield x fem!Munson!reader

Warnings: cursing, st4vol2 spoilers (but also incorrect quoting so--), blood, vomiting, unbelievable amounts of angst (‘cause I like it for some reason), making out, happyish ending, reader has asthma

WC: 4.2k

Someone dies or someone gets hurt, but if one of us dies I hope I die first, ‘cause I don’t wanna live without you I don’t wanna ever learn how to fall asleep without you Tell me what’s worse: losing you now or later Maybe I can break the curse and I can be in love forever If I die first

Max was cursed. You knew that. But if anyone was gonna die, you’d want it to be you. Max had already been through so much and she didn’t need to be scared that she was gonna end up like Chrissy or Fred or Patrick. It wasn’t fair to her. If she rose in the air and her fragile bones broke--

“Hey, Y/n.” Max’s voice cut through the dim ringing in your ears and you snapped your eyes open to look at her. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. A-are you?”

“I’m okay as someone hurtling towards a gruesome death can be.” Max shrugged. “You look like you’re gonna be sick, Y/n.”

“I’m okay, really.” You patted the seat next to you and Max sat by you. You started to reach a hand out to hold hers, but Lucas took the seat next to her, forcing you to retract your hand.

Max’s face broke into a smile as she looked over at Lucas, who smiled back.

“Max, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Max smiled bigger as she looked at Lucas, making you feel like you were intruding. You silently got up and moved seats to sit by Robin, watching their exchange. 

Robin looked between you and Max, then back again. She rested a gentle hand on your shoulder, “I know how it feels, Y/n.”

You startled, “I don’t know what you’re talking about?” You hadn’t meant it to come out as a question, but it was too late.

“The way you’re looking at Max, the forlorn expression on your face, how I know you wish you were Lucas right now… you like your best friend.”

“Wh-what? I do not!” You spluttered, red-faced.

Robin gave you a look. “I’ve made that face before. I’ve felt the same way.”

“Don’t diagnose my feelings, Robin. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” You pushed her hand off your shoulder. “I don’t like Max like that. I would know if I did.”

Robin looked down, hurt. “I’m not trying to tell you that you like her, Y/n.”

“Yeah? Well, stop. Stop whatever you’re doing. I’m not about to end up in Pennhurst because of your bullshit explanation.”

“Why would you end up in Pennhurst?” 

“Because you’re freaking crazy, Robin. You can’t just yell out in an RV that I like Max. Someone will think I’m psychotic and they’ll send me away.”

Robin scoffed. “It’s an easy secret to keep, Y/n.” She folded her arms across her chest. “And there’s always a chance that this won’t work, so you’d better tell her.”

“Wait, you- you think this won’t work? You think that we won’t be able to save Max and Hawkins?” 

“No, no, I didn’t say that.”

“Yes, you did! You think Max is gonna die, that we’re gonna lose, that Vecna’s gonna take over the world--” You began hyperventilating. Max looked up, hearing your loud breathing.

“Y/n!” Max moved quickly, grabbing your inhaler and placing it between your lips. “On three, okay? One, two, three.” She pressed the trigger on three and you inhaled the medicine. “Are you okay?”

You looked up at her, the sunlight haloing her head and glowing gorgeously across her face.

“Y/n?”

“Oh, yeah. Thanks, Max.” You avoided her eyes, choosing instead to look at Robin, who gave you a knowing look.

Max slid into the seat across from you. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Thank you,” You continued avoiding her gaze, focusing on Lucas behind her. “You should get back to Lucas.”

Max frowned, “Uh, okay.” She slid out of the bench seat and went back to Lucas.

Robin opened her mouth to speak, but you cut her off. “Shut up.”

She grinned. “I wasn’t going to say anything. But you should tell her, Y/n.”

“No, I can’t. When we kill Vecna, she’ll avoid me. She’ll hate me, and if you couldn’t tell, Lucas is trying to get up the courage to ask her out again. Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”

“You’re suppressing your feelings--”

“Robin!” Steve called from the front. “Stop harassing a kid and get your shit together. Max, Lucas, Y/n, Erica, this is your stop.”

The four of you gathered the lanterns and pads of paper and moved toward the door. Steve caught your arm as you went out the door. “Good luck.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and shook your wrist out of his grip, turning to receive Eddie’s worried look.

“We’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, I know. Just be careful, okay?”

Your brother’s worry scared you, and you nodded. “Okay.”

You stomped down the steps of the Winnebago and Lucas shut the door behind you. Max pulled her headphones over her ears again and clicked play on the tape. You gave her a worried glance, which she ignored. Erica went up the steps of the Creel House as Steve pulled away from the curb. Twisting the knob, you pushed the door open and clicked your lantern on.

Oh my God, I’m so scared.

Max was looking around the attic when she was intercepted by Erica, who already had you and Lucas in tow. Erica held up the pad of paper. “I found him.” Max read off the sheet, then nodded and followed the three of you to the living room, where Erica’s lantern glowed bright and subdued shades of blue. 

Erica deposited the three of you in the living room and then crossed the street to call Steve, Robin, and Nancy.

The awkwardness and tension in the air were almost palpable. Lucas shot Max a smile, who then scribbled something down on her pad of paper.

“Hi,”

“Hi,” Lucas returned, shielding his paper from you.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me, too.” Lucas wrote, adding a smiley face. And, after a moment’s hesitation: “Movies on Friday?”

Max grinned and began to write something, hiding her pad when Lucas leaned over to look. When she showed him, you saw that she had drawn two stick figures holding hands, and immediately felt sick to your stomach. The three lanterns on the table suddenly went dim. Shit. Max stood, retrieving her shoes and tying the laces. You and Lucas got your lanterns and followed Max up the stairs in socked feet.

Max stood in the center of the attic, lantern shining brightly on a crate in front of her. “Come and get me, asshole. I’m right here. No music this time.” Max set her cassette player on the crate beside the lantern to prove her point. Then she sat on the floor and began to speak. She spoke of Billy, of how she was glad she wasn’t dead but at the same time wished she was, how she was happy that Billy was dead. That’s when her eyes rolled back in her head and Lucas dove to her side. You ran to the window and were flashing your flashlight toward the playground when you heard a loud thudding behind you-- someone was coming up the stairs.

Jason’s blond hair became visible first, then his bloodshot and tired eyes, green letterman jacket, and finally, the shiny, silvery steel of a revolver. You felt bile rising in your throat and swallowed hard.

“Sinclair,” Jason said, diverting Lucas’ attention from Max. “What are you doing? Wake her up.”

“Jason, I can’t.” Lucas stood, shocked, and moved away from Max.

“Why not? Is this another devil, cult thing? I said to wake her up!” Jason raised the gun and trained it on Lucas, loading the chamber with a click of his thumb.

“No, Jason, don’t!” You stepped out of the shadows. “You don’t understand, this has to happen.”

“Another Munson. I should’ve known.” Jason sneered, then turned his gun on you. “Why does it have to happen, freak? So you can open a gate for Satan?”

“We’re not devil spawn, Jason,” You scoffed, then realized how poor a decision it was to antagonize a person with a gun, let alone someone who seemed willing to use it on you. “Just… we can’t wake her up, but we’re not killing her.”

Jason let out a brutal laugh, then got down beside Max, making sure to keep his gun pointed at you. “Hey, wake up.” Jason shook Max’s shoulder lightly, attempting to wake her up from the trance. “Wake up!” You could tell that if he couldn’t wake her up, Jason would do anything in his power to force you to bring her out of it, including threatening you at gunpoint or possibly shooting you. 

Jason stood and pointed his gun at Lucas again. “Wake her up, Sinclair.”

“We already told you, we can’t!” You shouted, trying to pull Jason’s focus away from Lucas. “Please, Jason, you have to trust us.”

“I can’t trust you if your cult killed Chrissy and Patrick. Especially if you’re planning to kill this girl.”

“We’re not,” Your voice broke and you could feel tears wanting to well up in your eyes, but you forced them away. “I would die for Max, I-I never want to lose her. Honestly, I hope I die first because I don’t wanna live without her.”

“Then wake. Her. Up.” Jason menacingly shook the gun at you and then Lucas let out a primal cry and tackled Jason. Their bodies collided with the crates, spilling the contents to the floor. The gun fell out of his hand and skittered across the floor, the shine lost in the darkness of the attic. Lucas punched Jason in the side and Jason returned a punch to Lucas’ face.

“Shit, shit, shit!” 

The walkie crackled with static and you heard the front door slam, feet pounding up the stairs. 

The doorknob rattled and Erica yelled, “Let me in!” 

You attempted to get around the boys, but Jason’s arm rocketed out and tripped you. You fell and broke your chin and, to your horror, the cassette player on the splintering wood.

“Son of a bitch!” Bile again rose in your throat, forcing its way out of your mouth. You held back a cry of anguish. Blood and vomit leaked down your chin and stained the collar of your shirt. With a loud crack of glass breaking, the room went quiet. You spun, expecting Jason, but Lucas was keeled over, hands on his knees, panting heavily. He looked from Jason to you, to the broken player on the ground, then to Max, whose legs were uncrossing themselves as she rose into the air.

“No!” Lucas yelled, standing under her and reaching for her feet. Too late, Max’s eyes went almost white. She convulsed and then her limbs went taught, the bones in her arms and legs pressing against her skin harshly before snapping loudly.

You let out a dry sob and Max fell into Lucas’ arms, who was sobbing freely. You knelt by them and brushed Max’s hair out of her face, tears springing to your eyes. “Shit, Max, no!”

“L-Lucas? Y/n? I-I can’t see, I’m scared… I’m not ready to die, I don’t want to die!” Max’s eyes were white, thick drops of blood dripping down her cheeks. 

“You won’t, Max, okay? You’re gonna be fine, I promise, I swear on God that you’re gonna be just fine,” You reassured, despite the sobs building up in the back of your throat. A sense of helplessness was beginning to overtake your body, starting in the pit of your stomach and rising to your head, echoing in your skull. 

“Stay with me, Max, stay with me!” Lucas cupped Max’s cheek as he sobbed, brushing his tears off her pale face. 

Max’s breathing began to slow to a painful pace and she heaved once, blood splattering her lips and chin, then stopped altogether. You and Lucas watched in agony as her eyes fell closed, hiding the white irises from you.

The ground split open, dark red light spilling from the fissure, and you helped Lucas pull Max away before following the fissure’s progress. It ripped through the attic floor towards Jason, who lay partially conscious near the bay window. He let out a pained moan as it tore through him, killing him almost instantly and disintegrating him, forcing you to turn away from Max and throw up on the floor. Your breathing increased in pace as you watched Lucas attempt to wake Max, as the dreadful realization settled on you- Max was dead. They hadn’t stopped Vecna. Robin had been right, and you still hadn’t told Max your true feelings for her. The door finally opened and Erica stopped cold at the sight of Max. 

“Erica, call 911!” You yelped, nearly choking on the lack of air. “Hurry!”

Erica turned and rushed down the stairs, footsteps thudding loudly against the horrible backdrop of silence, save for your ragged breathing.

“Erica, help!” Lucas called in an earth-shattering voice, which caused you to sob against your better judgment, which knew you were having an asthma attack- but you’d left your inhaler on the RV, which was parked at your trailer. You gasped and clutched your throat, trying to avoid looking at Max or Lucas.

“Sh-shit,” You coughed, and then you could hear the sirens. Erica had called emergency services and they were close. Max let out a small gasp for air and you swiveled to her, still gasping. Lucas startled at the outburst and gently grabbed her wrist, checking for a pulse. You locked eyes with him and he gave a slight nod. However faint Max’s heartbeat was, it was there. Max was alive. It was impossible, unthinkable, you knew you had to be dreaming, but you thanked God nonetheless for the development and smiled softly, still hacking out breaths. 

The EMTs rushed up the stairs, closely followed by Erica, and immediately transferred Max to a stretcher. They carried Max to the ambulance and attended to you and Lucas quickly. They put antiseptic on Lucas’ face and gave you a quick dose of albuterol before flipping the sirens and lights on then driving off, leaving you, Lucas, and Erica on the sidewalk in front of the Creel House.

Lucas held his sister close, the pair of them shell-shocked. You went back upstairs, ignoring the red rip in the floors and ceilings. Retrieving the walkie, you called Steve.

“Steve?” You choked out, noticing the dark stain of blood on the ground. “Robin, Nancy? We kind of have an emergency here.”

The walkie screeched once and then Steve’s voice came through. “I know. We’re going back through the gate now. Be there soon.” Then, nothing. Radio silence from the older teens. You went back downstairs after collecting the pieces of Max’s player. 

You sat on the curb next to Lucas and Erica, “They’re on the way. I don’t know anything else.” You whispered. “I have a feeling that something really bad happened.” You coughed, hiding a sob. “And, Lucas, Max is gonna be fine, okay? She’s alive, and that’s better than--” You stopped short as car lights turned on across the street and someone wearing a Hawkins High letterman jacket got out of the car.

Hands deep in his pockets, Andy crossed the street and stood in front of you three.

“Where’s Jason?” His voice was deep as if he was keeping himself from crying.

You looked up at him, suddenly sympathetic, understanding of Jason’s motives. “He didn’t make it. I-I’m sorry.”

Andy’s eyes shot from his shoes to your eyes. “You’re lying. What did you do to him?!”

“I didn’t do anything,” You replied, somewhat calmly. “I’m sorry, Andy. Go home.”

For a moment, he looked like he wanted to punch you. Then he turned around, went back to Jason’s car, and got in the passenger side. You looked away as he started to cry, partially out of embarrassment and partially out of sympathy. Headlights glowed down the road and you turned to see the Winnebago turning the corner. You forced yourself to your feet, then pulled Lucas and Erica to their feet.

Steve parked the RV on the side of the road and killed the engine, to your surprise. The door swung open and you waited until everyone was out of the RV, but you only counted four pairs of feet, not five like you expected. Swinging your head up, you noticed who was missing. Where the hell was Eddie?

Steve’s eyes connected with yours, brimming with tears and sympathy. “Y/n…” He held out his arms and you rushed towards him.

“Where’s Eddie?” You held back tears, just as everyone else did. “Steve. Where’s my brother?”

“Where’s Max?” You heard Nancy ask Lucas.

“Sh-she’s at the hospital,” 

“You might need this.” Steve opened his hand to you and you took your inhaler from his hand. “Y/n, I’m so sorry.”

“No, Steve,” A sob pushed its way out of your throat. “Don’t lie to me, it’s not a joke. Where’s Eddie?”

Steve shook his head and a tear traced its way down his cheek.

“No--no, you’re lying! You’re lying!” Air whistled through your lungs and you pulled the trigger on the inhaler, the medicine uselessly escaping into the air.

Steve lunged for the inhaler and snatched the inhaler out of your grip, despite your protest, and forced it between your lips. He pressed the trigger, forcing you to breathe properly, and hugged you tightly.

You pushed uselessly at his chest, “No, get off. You lied to me, I hate you, I hate you.” Tears streamed in an unbroken river down your cheeks, staining your’s and Steve’s shirts. 

You could feel Steve’s tears wetting your hair. “I’m sorry, Y/n, I’m so sorry.” He comfortingly rubbed your back and you clutched at his jacket, clenching it tightly in your fist. When you finally pulled away, your fingers were stiff and you were sure that your face was tear-stained and red.

“Did you at least bring him back?” You watched for any sign that they had, an imperceptible nod of some sort, but Steve shook his head, forlorn. “You left him in the Upside Down?!” You shoved Steve backward. “You left him in that nightmare? What the hell’s wrong with you?!” You punched Steve’s chest multiple times until he grabbed your wrists and pulled you close again. “You bastard! You’re useless, I can’t trust you to do anything! Eddie trusted you to kill Vecna and you couldn’t even do that, he died and you failed!” The venom in your words stung, you knew, but you couldn’t stop, despite the guilt. “You failed and Max died, you goddamn bastard!” Your voice rose, words contorting into knife-sharp shapes as you continued to yell obscenities at the poor boy. “Asshole!”

A rough hand covered your mouth, forcing you to stop yelling. “Jesus Christ, Y/n. I know, you’re mad. I’d be upset, too. But that doesn’t give you license to swear at me on the sidewalk. Eddie was my friend. I’m just as mad as you are.”

“I-I’m not mad! I’m hurt and it’s not fair that you left Eddie there, in the Upside Down, all by himself.”

“What was I supposed to do? Leave Dustin there with his body?!”

“No! But you can’t leave by himself, he hates being alone, Steve. It’s not fair.” You took a deep breath and stopped crying. In a softer voice, you said, “You could have brought him back, at least.”

Six months later

Max’s breathing was steady, and her heart rate was stable. As far as you knew, she was going to wake up within the next year or so. Some coma patients could hear when they were unconscious, but the doctors didn’t know if Max could, so they assumed she couldn’t. That’s what they had told you, that she couldn’t hear. The whole town thought that Eddie had hurt her, had nearly killed her, but they knew that Eddie was dead. They assumed because of the “earthquake.” Lucas had stopped visiting Max after the first month and you had taken his place. You didn’t read to her or tell her about your day, you just sat by her side and wished you could hold her hand. The cast was no longer around her arm, but if anyone saw you…

Oh, screw it. You picked up Max’s hand. Her skin was warm and the weight of her hand in yours felt nice, but you didn’t know what Max would say if she were awake and you took her hand in yours. Then, the slightest bit of pressure on your hand. It wasn’t just the warmth and weight of Max’s hand, you realized. Max exhaled sharply and your eyes travelled up to hers. Her blue eyes glistened, and God, was she pretty, even under the harsh hospital lights. 

“Y/n?” Max’s voice cracked, almost like a walkie-talkie. It was the first time she’d said anything in six months, so the words must’ve hurt to say, must’ve scratched her throat on the way out.

“Yeah, Max, it’s me,” You made to take your hand from hers’ covertly, but Max threaded your fingers together and squeezed your hand. “How you feeling?” You turned your head away from hers’ in an attempt to hide your blush.

“I’ve been… better,” Max smiled. “Y/n, l-look at me.”

You obeyed, turning your head to face her again. Her red hair seemed firey, her eyes alight. “I swear to God, you’re a goddess.”

Max’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

“Shit.” You dropped your eyes to the bed, “I’m sorry.”

“If you meant it, I’ll take it as a compliment.”

You blushed. “No, I mean, yeah, I did mean it, but I meant I’m sorry that we didn’t… save you. We tried, really, but I crushed your tape player. I’m so sorry, Max, I know it was probably awful.”

Max scooted over and patted the bed beside her. “It’s okay.”

You shifted into the bed beside her, trying not to sit on the IV or the medicine drip that was tucked into her arm. “Doesn’t make me any less sorry.”

Max squeezed your hand again. “What does this mean?” She raised your interlocked hands.

“I think you think it means something different than me,” You mumbled, looking down.

“I know what you think it means,” Max tucked a hand under your chin and turned your head to her again. “And I like you, too.”

You reddened. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about--” And then her lips were on yours. Shocked, you pulled away. “But what about Lucas? You and him--”

Max put a finger against your lips. “Being in a coma gave me lots of time to reflect, Y/n.” Max grinned, “And I know now that I had wanted to go on that date with you.”

“With me?” This was unbelievable. The Max Mayfield wanted to go out with Y/n “The Freak” Munson?

“Only if you want to,” Max suddenly seemed smaller, more fragile, and she looked away. “Sorry.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“No, no, Max, I do want to go out with you, I was just surprised. I didn’t think you liked me like that.”

“I didn’t know until I heard Robin talking in the RV. The day that I… died.” You winced, but she continued, “And I was so confused. I thought I was just feeling normal best friend feelings for you, but then I remembered I never felt that way with El… Y/n, I love you.” 

Your body propelled you forward, into her lips. She sat for a second, then she kissed you back. 

Melting into the kiss, you pushed everything you felt for her into your lips as her tongue swiped along your bottom lip. Parting your lips, you felt her tongue on yours and-- the heart monitor went off, indicating that Max’s heart rate was above 90 bpm. You pulled away, grinning, and reached for her wrist.

“Feeling okay there, Max?” You could feel her pulse pounding, you knew it was going as fast as yours.

“Yeah, I-I’m okay,”

“And, for the record, I love you, too,” You were leaning in to kiss her again when the door flew open. In the doorway stood a dark figure. The person had dark, bloodshot eyes and a pained expression on their face. They stepped into Max’s room and grinned, showing bloodstained teeth. You took them in for a moment, then you flew to their side.

“Oh my God, Eddie!” Hugging him tightly, you could smell blood on his clothes, and in his hair, and the air suddenly wasn’t enough for your lungs. “Je-Jesus Christ, you’re alive!” You coughed, and then Eddie was leading you over to the chair you’d been sitting in and rooting through your bag for your inhaler. He triggered it for you because you refused to let go of him.

“Yeah, kind of,” Eddie rubbed your back comfortingly. “Hey, Red.”

“Hi,” Max’s voice was soft, her face red. “You didn’t--”

“See you guys kissing? No, no way.”

Your face heated up, “I hate you.”

“You were just saying how happy you were that I was alive.” Eddie kissed the top of your head.

“And I am, but I can still hate you. Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“I won’t. I can’t stick around long, anyway.”

“What? Why not?”

“He knows I’m gone and he’ll assume that I went to warn you about his plan.”

“What? Who--”

“He, as in Vecna?” Max’s face was dark, her stony expression practically unreadable.

“Yeah.”

[blarefordaglare]

LU incorrect quotes

chain: arrives at Lon Lon ranch

Wind, rolling on the ground: GRANDMAAAAAAAAAA

Time: U good?

Wind, staring at time: GRANDPAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(This one’s based off of @hotcheetohatredwastaken ‘s Blood Drops on Roses au)

Wild: *exists*

Twilight, who hasn’t seen this world before: Yeah I’m adopting you.

Legend: fudge Hylia

Sky: :(

Legend, guilty: Fine, fudge Ailyh backwards, happy?

Sky: :)

Legend: little does he know…

(this one’s based off of this song/poem https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fIopDQrP8uI&pp=ygUTU2VhIGZldmVyIGNob2lyIFNTQQ%3D%3D )

Wind: *bangs piano* I MUST GO DOWN TO THE SEAS AGAIN

Warriors, magically teleported with another piano: *aggressively playing*

Wind: TO THE LONELY SEAS AND THE SKY!!!

Sky: I don’t like riding on boats… I prefer birds

Wind: AND ALL I ASK IS A TALL SHIP

Four: *quadruplefies*

Green: 3 part harmony got it? Wind will be alone because he is way too loud and we need to balance it. Red and me will be soprano II and the rest of yall can be alto.

The four fours + wind: AND A STAR TO STEER HER BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-Yuh (people in choir know what I’m talking about here)

Time, dying from the chaos: …I miss my wife.

Hyrule: GUYS I MADE ICE CREAM

Time: oh no…

Time, eating ice cream: wait it’s not bad.

Hyrule: *bites ice cream*

Time: never mind it’s terrible never do that again

(no offense to people that bite ice cream - it’s just that it HURTS MY TEETH and bc of that biting ice cream just makes me uncomfortable haha)

[ink-and-dagger]

Featured banner art by @simply---words

The 'Drink With Me' Art Gallery🥃🎨

Displaying a collection of the world's finest fan art.

All works are split into five categories for easy browsing: Astrid, Silco, Astro Ship, General DWM, & Spicy, and are listed in chronological order of when they were posted.

If you've created any art for DWM that isn’t listed here then please let me know as it will have been my mistake!

All the links are to Tumblr posts unless specified. Please note I may update the list from time to time. Click the below link to head back to the main fic masterlist:

Drink With Me Main Masterlist 🥃

Finally, please don't forget to show these incredible artists some love by interacting with their work 💜

Astrid Art (Reader)

Blairs-Witch - Astrid

Leoxnin - Astrid wearing Silco's coat

Wood-white-writer - Astrid "I do not snore"

Grayhoodiesrule - Noir style Astrid

Foppish - Astrid

Designfailure56 - Astrid

Iseutz - Astrid

Foppishish - Astrid 'coward'

Coffee-oreo - Astrid WIP

Lizzthefrizzzz - Drunk Astrid doodle sheet

Lizzthefrizzzz - Astrid in the club blackout (Chapter 8)

Lemmielem - Astrid

Fenyafaraday - Astrid

LittleKittenAmy - Astrid (twitter link)

Coffee-oreo - Miku!Astrid

Artwithvivien - Astrid

Lizzthefrizzzz - Astrid in the warehouse (Chapter 17, tw; blood)

Sweet-candi - Astrid

Dad-dumpster - Astrid

Sleepietimegal - Catgirl!Astrid

Ink-and-dagger - Astrid

Designfailure56 - Soft bedroom Astrid with ring

Sleepietimegal - Astrid with Pokémon

Sleepietimegal - Astrid in low-back top

Vanhelsingsbigtoe - Astrid

Libbyrequiresescapism - Astrid in a suit

Silco Art

Whooshhhhhh - Silco's hip tattoos

Simply---Words - Silco's hip tattoos

Thesaltybuns - Silco fresh from the shower ft. hip tattoos

Pomegranatebat - Feral Silco (Chapter 14)

Lemmielem - Feral Silco (Chapter 14)

Aromansoul - Silco in office wreckage (Chapter 14)

Simply---words - Silco sleeping like an angel (Chapter 18)

Xeiling-skies - Smoking Silco with hip tattoos

Astro Ship Art (Silco x Astrid)

Soutzart - Astrid & Silco

Kofemate - Astrid & Silco smoking

Six-feet-sleep - Astrid fixing Silco's tie

U2dessertflower - Astrid & Silco dancing

Sleepietimegal - Astrid & howl!Silco

Thesaltybuns - Astrid in the rafters and Silco's 'wtf' face (Chapter 16)

Officially-grim - Astrid yanking Silco's tie (Chapter 15)

Lizzthefrizzzz - Drunk Astrid playing with Silco's hand (Chapter 9)

Grayhoodiesrule - Astrid & Silco tender moment (Chapter 13)

Shadowparcourt - Astrid & Silco sofa makeout (Chapter 11)

Jennithejester - 'Before lightning struck' (End of Chapter 13)

Simply---words - Silco & Astrid super serious and tense moment (Chapter 17)

Aviidus - Silco at Astrid's bedside (Chapter 17)

Aviidus - Soft Silco & Astrid asleep together (Chapter 18)

Simply---words - Astrid lovingly holding Silco's face (Chapter 18)

Grayhoodiesrule - Astrid & Silco asleep together (Chapter 17)

Kikiiswashere - Astrid doing Silco's hair

Libbyrequiresescapism - Astrid & Silco play wrestling (naked but fluffy)

Fluffydogboo13 - Astrid flirting her way out of chores

General Drink With Me Art

Whooshhhhhh - Chapter 9

Spirits-lament - Death AU

U2dessertflower - Astrid, Jasper & Max group photo

Indigo-Aspect - Slice of life at The Last Drop

Spirits-lament - Chapter 5 Riverside Conversation

Spirits-lament - Family photo (Astrid, Silco, Jinx)

Simply---words - Family photo (Astrid, Silco, Jinx) plus bonus surprise photo of Silco half-dressed

Sleepietimegal - Astrid & Jinx

Ace-of-zaun - Quote embroidery

Artssaholic - Group birthday pose

Fluffydogboo - Incorrect quotes comic (Ft. Astrid, Silco & Sevika)

Sleepietimegal - Bottle and rose (Chapter 18)

Lizzthefrizz - Beautiful Monster quote typography

Sygmarie4-w - Drink With Me Doodles

Silver-spoon-paper-plate - Astrid & Jinx

Fluffydogboo13 - Drink With Me Doodles 1 || Doodles 2

Fluffydogboo13 - Jasper & Astrid

Silcoitus - Fountain tradition

Spicy Art

The below art is NSFW - click with caution

Thesaltybuns - Silco & Astrid in the taproom (Chapter 12)

Lemonmancer - Silco & Astrid (twitter link)

Grayhoodiesrule - Astrid & Silco in the taproom (Virgin AU; Chapter 2)

Deny-the-issue - Silco & Astrid in ‘Shag Rug’ ficlet

[detective-inspector-her]

Raising Cain & Potter Incorrect Quotes

Fletcher: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might. Valkyrie: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-

Nefarian: We need a diversion. I say Skulduggery gets naked. Fletcher: No. Nefarian: I could get naked. The squad: NO!!!

Harry: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Fletcher: Fletcher: I'm gonna tell them. Valkyrie: Don't you dare.

Nefarian: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

Fletcher: To everyone who has treated me poorly; I am sexier than you.

Harry, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Valkyrie: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later* Valkyrie: Here you go. Harry: Valkyrie: Fletcher: Why am I here?

Fletcher: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts! Valkyrie, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack. Skulduggery, deadpanning at Valkyrie: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.

Fletcher: What’s your body count? Skulduggery: Do you mean sex or murder?

Fletcher: My dad died when I was little so whenever someone jokes about fucking my mom I’ll pretend to be really sincere and say some shit like “Glad to see she’s moving on, my dad’s death hit her pretty hard.” Then watch them absolutely fumble trying to figure out a response to that statement. Fletcher: Update, she got a new partner I can no longer make the joke.

Harry: How do I ask someone out? Fletcher: Roses are red, violets are blue, guess what, my bed has room for two. Harry: No! Valkyrie: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car. Harry: Stop! Skulduggery: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily I can make you scream. Harry: I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory.

Harry: Stop saving the world and get a hobby.

Valkyrie, bleeding out on the ground: Blood loss? No, I know exactly where it is.

Skulduggery: Do you know the ABCs of first aid? Valkyrie: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

Harry: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Nefarian: They do. Skulduggery: …Why did you say that with such certainty?

Valkyrie: double checking supplies in the boat Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen. Skulduggery: Hot dog costumes! Valkyrie: I’m sorry, what? Skulduggery: You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Nefarian, goes mad with hunger, we’ll put these on. Nefarian hates hot dogs, so they probably won’t eat us. Valkyrie: Are you saying that Nefarian would rather eat us than hot dogs? Nefarian: I do hate hot dogs.

Skulduggery: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way. Valkyrie: I almost died. Skulduggery: That… was my favorite memory.

Harry: Valkyrie, you’re such a genius! Valkyrie: Yes, I know.

Skulduggery: Just think about this! I’m your hottest friend. Skulduggery: No, that’s Nefarian… I’m your nicest friend. Skulduggery: No, Harry... I’m your friend!

Fletcher: Come on Valkyrie, do it for our friendship. You can't put a price on that… Valkyrie: Yes I can, dear. Fifty dollars.

Valkyrie: I have locked Harry in a cage designed by his own art. Oh, he has been well and truly hoisted by his own petard. Skulduggery: Could you put it another way? I didn’t understand a word of that. Valkyrie: I’m blackmailing him. Skulduggery: Oh, happy days.

Fletcher: What are you eating? Valkyrie: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty. Fletcher: I like you, don't I?

[unpopularvivian]

Incorrect Ttte Quotes 179:

The Crayon Song But Diesel Fucking Ruins It:

*Intro music plays as Rosie nervously stands there*

Rosie: 🎵 Hello kids! I'm the color red! And I brought my friends to you teach about them! 🎵

Rosie: 🎵 They're the colors of all the things you see. And red is me, the color of awesome things! 🎵

Rosie: 🎵 Like hearts, and roses and Mars! But most importantly... 🎵

Rosie: 🎵 Love! 🎵

Diesel. behind Rosie: Blood.

Rosie: 🎵 Love. 🎵

Diesel: BLOOD.

Rosie: Love...

Diesel: BLOOD.

Rosie: Love.....

Diesel: BLOOD.

Other characters: Hooray!

James: 🎵 Hi! I'm orange like mac and cheese! Let's name other orange things now if you please. 🎵

James: 🎵 You got pumpkins and tigers and the desert sand! 🎵

James: 🎵 Monarch butterflies! 🎵

Diesel: Prescription bottles.

James: *Silently pissed* 🎵 Are your orange friends...🎵

James: 🎵 La, la, la, la, la, la, cheese! 🎵

Diesel: Pills.

Other characters: Hooray!

James: What are you doing!?!?!?

Diesel: What I was born to do.

Daisy: 🎵 As you probably guessed, yellow's pretty fun! 🎵

Diesel: Jaundice!

Daisy: 🎵 You can find it on a bus.🎵

Diesel: Jaundice!!!

Daisy 🎵 Or the rays from the sun! 🎵

Diesel: Jaundice!!!!!

Daisy: 🎵 If you ask me, yellow's pretty fun! 🎵

Diesel: Liver failure!!!!

Daisy: *Annoyed* 🎵 If you like yellow and sour, then try a lemon! 🎵

Diesel and Daisy: JAUNDICE!!!!!!

Daisy: DANG IT!!!!

Henry: 🎵 I once ate a bug that was the color green. 🎵

Henry: 🎵 But the ER said it was a poisonous thing. 🎵

Henry: 🎵 That explains why I threw up green. 🎵

Henry: 🎵 And inside that green there were: 🎵

Henry: 🎵 CHUNKS 🎵

Henry: 🎵 OF 🎵

Henry: 🎵 GREEN!!!!! 🎵

Henry: 🎵 I bet you wish you hadn't listened to green!!!!! 🎵

Henry: Hooray!!!!

Thomas: Why didn't you change that one?

Diesel: I liked that verse.

Thomas: 🎵 The ocean is a place where many- 🎵

Diesel: Nightmares live.

Thomas: 🎵 Creatures live... It's a deep blue sea- 🎵

Thomas: 🎵 And it's mysterious... 🎵

Diesel: And it'll kill you to death!

Diesel: 🎵 Especially if you are Titanic! 🎵

Diesel: So let that sink in, pun intended. :)

Henry: Hooray!!!

Edward: *Pushes Diesel out of the way* Don't blow this for us man!!!! Come on!!!

Edward: *Exhales* 🎵 Purple is the color of many pretty things from a lilac- 🎵

*Edward screams as he get tased by Diesel while the others stand and gasp in shock. *

Thomas: Dude!!!!!

*James quickly pulls Edward's unconscious body away from the stage.*

Paxton: 🎵 I guess it's my turn... There are brown things like dirt... 🎵

Paxton: I-Uh. Can't remember the words...

Paxton: Please don't hurt...Me...

Diesel: >:)

*Paxton gets tased by Diesel as everybody, including Edward who's awake now, look at him in fear and surprise. *

*Rosie drags Paxton into the corner as the others are frozen in fear.*

Henry: Hooray!!!!

Duck: *Tries grabbing the taser out of Diesel's hands* WHITE THINGS INCLUDE!!!!

Diesel: *Dodges Duck* All broken bones!

Duck: *Charges towards Diesel* AND DOVES AND PAPER!!!!

Diesel: *Dodges Duck again* And rabies' foam!

Duck: *Gets chased by Diesel with the taser* There's IIIIVVVOOORRRYYY!!!!!!

Diesel: Worth a lot of money! If you want to buy some, then email me!

Henry: Hooray!!!!

Diesel: *Gives Henry a death stare*

Henry: Hooray! Hooray, hooray....

Diesel: Black is the color emptiness. I feel it in my soul cus I'm an emotional mess...

Edward: RAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*Edward runs and jumps into the air, kicking Diesel in the face thus, knocking him out.*

Edward: TAKE CARE OF THE BODY!!!!! SHOVE HIM IN A KID'S NOSE OR SOMETHING!!!!!

Rosie: BACK TO NORMAL!!!!!

Everybody: Yayyyyy!!!!!!!! (Yayyyy.....)

Toby: 🎵 I'm the last crayon in the box you see! 🎵

Toby: 🎵 And the color that they assigned to me: 🎵

Toby: *Furiously points at his costume* IS THIS!!!!!!

*The audience laughs and cheers loudly before clapping happily*

Toby: *Serious* Just think about that! For one moment.

Edward: *Pats Toby's shoulder to try to make him feel better*

Toby: *Slaps Edward's hand* Get your hand off of me!!!!