#But maybe didn’t consider that their kids were inevitably going to become ‘other people’

[boots-with-the-fur-club]

DONNIE’S TURN

TW for sensory type stuff and blood. Check the tags as well!

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Donnie sends weapon after weapon at the hand. It reminds him of a cockroach with its uncanny ability to dodge and survive. He considers the thought that like the bug, this hand was cut off something more powerful as an attempt to keep surviving.

He has to divert those thoughts. One wrong move and he’s spored all over again. Hopefully this has been enough time to give the universe’s new Phonora guest time to escape.

Maybe now is the time for him to get going as well.

Or, it would be, if more people didn’t start walking around!

Hold on, he recognizes one of them. It’s the Mikey who tried to steal from Leo’s Fanny Pack. There’s an alternative Donnie he sees with him that must be from the same universe. He’s aware that they’ve had to deal with the hallucinations as well.

Wait, is that also a mutated April!?

Mikey must have sent out help looking for Leo.

“You three! Get out of here! That hand is still in the area!”

He watches as the hand suddenly springs out at them. The other version of him shields his brother, and Mayhem April moves in front of them both.

No, this is not happening to them again.

That Mikey is small. Even in comparison to other Mikeys, he’s small. Malnutrition stunted his and that other Leo’s growth.

He’s too small to go through this again.

And, though he won’t admit it outright for no good reason, seeing another April further enforces his decision.

He creates and tosses a device at them. It becomes a shield type bubble around the three. The hand slaps against it and slides down.

Donnie smirks in pride.

Not this time, you demon.

The hand lands on the floor and turns back to him.

Uh oh.

Donnie whips around his tech bō, hoping to hit it back when it inevitably comes after him. He takes a step back, only for the floor to sink beneath his foot.

Are you kidding!?

How is a hand smart enough for booby traps!?

Darts carrying spores whiz by him, spraying in his face. He coughs and sputters.

“April! Mikey! Other me! Go back to Mikey! Make sure he’s safe!”

April’s face falling tells him all he needs to know.

He grips his tech bō tighter.

“Then get Raph! Warn him!”

“We’ll get you help! I swear!” April shouts.

They all try to get the ball moving somehow while in the cramped space. Donnie takes a breath, glad that he’s managed to save them at least.

“You’ve come back.” A voice squirms into his brain.

Donnie gets a full body shudder.

So this is what it’s decided to make him think about this time.

“Perhaps we were too hasty to remove you last time. Join us once again, we’ll put your mind to good use.”

The Kraang hive mind.

He takes a deep breath.

They’re long gone. It’s okay. He’ll never have to feel that way again-

OH BANANA PANCAKES, WHAT IS TAKING OFF HIS BATTLE SHELL!?

He moves around as quickly as possible to stop the sensation. His eyes avoid where he left the others. He’s hoping they aren’t watching him lose his mind.

There still some level of pride he’d like to keep.

Or maybe….he just really, really, that’s two reallys, doesn’t want a Mikey and April specifically to see this.

His movements don’t quell his feeling of vulnerability. The battle shell is fully taken away and tendrils start poking into his soft shell.

There’s no way to move from whatever was doing this. It’s a hallucination, of course he can’t.

It’s everywhere.

He’s unable to ignore how well it’s replicating the worst thing he’s ever experienced.

His arms start to feel-

No! Why is it in his arms!?

That did not happen!

No, no no no, it’s in his legs!

It’s all over!

He moves around like a madman, as if they’ll leave his body if he does so enough. It’s taking all his strength not to scratch into his skin to make it end.

His breathing grows heavy, he squeezes his arms tightly enough for his nails to dig into them.

On the verge of shutting down, his thoughts go back to how being the ship felt. It was so much, flooding his senses as he was surrounded by feelings and touch and voices.

The same happens to him now. Being pulled away from reality into a sea of endless consciousnesses where you don’t know where you begin and end. You just exist within everything.

It’s suffocating.

He gets on his knees and rocks back and forth. It’s a useless attempt to self soothe. How could it possibly help?

Why can’t it just go away!?

I hurts!

He doesn’t want to feel it!

Make it stop! Please!

Anyone!

Leo! Raph! Mikey!

Oh Mikey……

What a poor excuse of an older brother he is.

Leo is probably in an as bad or even worse situation than Mikey is based on how long he’s been gone. He has no idea where Raph is.

Why did they separate!?

They should never leave each other’s side again at this point!

He wants to see them so badly….

A small, tiny part of him wishes the other versions of his family were still here.

Would the spores even let him see the real them?

He’d probably see them dead or missing pieces or something equally as horrible.

Does he dare look?

He pulls himself out of the grip of the hallucination just enough to take that chance.

The other Mikey is sobbing, beating his fist on the inside of the ball. April and the other Donnie are mostly successfully holding him back but he keeps wriggling away.

He’s….yelling his name?

Why does he care? He’s not his Donnie.

Maybe for the same reason Donnie protected them all.

Ah, sentimentality. It’s the folly of all of them, and most versions it seems like.

He shakily reaches up but doesn’t dare even think about getting rid of the bubble. There’s danger all around. It’s the only thing keeping them safe.

The other Mikey presses his face against the inside of the bubble.

Donnie smiles slightly.

“It’s okay.”

“No! It’s not okay! Donnie, do something! Please!” Mikey pleads.

“How!? We can’t get out of this bubble! I don’t even know how his device works!” The other Donnie insists.

Mikey gives him as big of puppy dog eyes as he can manage.

“Even your cutest face can’t change reality! He probably doesn’t even want us to try anything. You know why he did this.” Other Donnie continues.

Mikey looks back at the spored Donnie.

His eyes were filled with purple light that had begun changing to a very creepy blue. It hurt to see him so uncomfortable, so in pain. The blue only stopped getting worse when he saw Mikey.

That means Mikey can do something, right?

He quickly turns to April.

“What happened with his Mikey? And-!….Wait, where’s Karai?”

April frowns deeply.

“He got spored, again. Karai….trapped herself with him and Leo to stop him. He went crazy! We couldn’t snap him out of it. His arms-“

Donnie hits the bubble, startling all inside.

“Did he use his ninpo again!?”

He seems a lot more lucid.

April gets an idea. It’s a very painful one she knows she won’t feel good about even if it works, but it’s all she has.

“He did! Donnie, it’s…..it’s bad. Real bad. Leo is covered up by all these viney things too!”

The blue in Donnie’s eyes is nearly vaporized by all the purple. He grips his teeth and stands up, completely ignoring the squirming from before. The feeling is starting to go away entirely.

He grips his tech bō again and sees the hand making its way out of the room. The tech bō turns into a spear he launches right towards it. Black blood drips onto the ground but the hand isn’t still.

It squirms and writhes, trying to get away.

Donnie walks over, the hand removes itself from its arm portion and runs off. He lifts it up and smirks slightly as he looks it over.

At least he knows it could be injured.

“You did it!” Mikey cheers in relief.

Donnie looks back at him, smiling a bit more before a headache suddenly starts pounding in his head.

No!

He won, didn’t he?

A different voice booms into his skull.

“Come to me. Feed me your fear.”

He’s still connected to the hive mind.

The hand scuttles off, knowing it barely escaped this time.

It doesn’t fear for the turtles’ lives as it does not have the capability of fearing anything.

That isn’t to say that it does want them dead.

It simply knows that it isn’t how this story will end.

The tragedy and angst has been so entertaining, but they will be saved. It’s proven already. It’s written in fate itself.

Three(?) down.

One to go.

[iamleesi]

THE HUNTERS & THE SOLDIER

Pairing: Avenger! Bucky Barnes x OC! Avenger Reader

Summary: You finally find out who the stranger was and you don’t like it. Nobody does.

Warnings: Starts off with a flashback about Hydra, mention of experiments, implied cannibalism, being kept in isolation, Dean being a complete asshole, missing person, loss of a mother -> +18!!

Other: Sorry for eventual mistakes, my dog demanded cuddles between a paragraph and another. Enjoy!

-> Masterlist

-> Part thirteen ; Part fifteen

-> Angel of the Lord (14)

“Nonie!” You exclaimed excitedly as you rushed out of the facility into the new fenced yard outside. It was Hydra’s idea to create this area for the youngest members of the organization, though little did you know it was just to attract pureblood Wendigos.

By that time, you had created some kind of bond with Nonie even though it was difficult to understand if she truly liked you. Most of the time, she acted as if you didn’t exist, but on rare occasions - really rare occasions - she agreed to play with you, indulging in the same simple games you observed other kids playing. Other than her, you never attempted to interact with anyone else considering she was the sanest person you’d encountered aside from the agents which illustrated the mental state of the other people in there.

“It’s been a while! I see you’re less pale than before; that’s good!”

Nonie had been taken away from your shared room a few weeks ago, and since then, you hadn’t heard a thing about her. Not even Ezra was allowed to tell you anything related to her, which made you sad. However, you trusted those in charge and you were convinced she was okay. She had to be, she was your only friend.

“But Nonie, you’re losing some hair. Maybe I could ask Mrs White if she can fix that?” You suggested, gently moving a lock of black hair out of her face. You flinched at what you saw - her blue eyes were red, and despite appearing less pale, her veins were visible… and they were pitch black.

“I’m going to call Mrs White. I’m sure she knows what to do.” You said, but before you could fully rise to your feet, Nonie grabbed your arm with enough force to leave a mark. Meeting her eyes, you saw her shaking her head.

“But you’re-” You were cut off as she pulled you back down to your knees, releasing your wrist as she started to stare back into the woods behind the electric fence.

You weren’t sure why she prevented you from seeking help, but as you grew older and learned the truth about Hydra, it became clear. Nonie had been used as yet another subject for the Wendigo Project, and she was fully aware of it. Help wasn’t necessary because she would inevitably turn into one of those monsters and there was nothing you could do about it.

At that age, you were aware of the consequences. Initially, you tried to remain optimistic, convincing yourself that she would be immune like you. You couldn’t be the only special one, right? But you were wrong.

Terribly wrong.

You watched as she transformed in a matter of days, becoming increasingly aggressive towards the guards and she was always anything but aggressive. What struck you as odd was the fact that she never displayed that type of behavior towards you or whenever you were around. For briefs moments, it was like she was the same old Nonie.

That left you with several questions, and you weren’t alone - Mrs White became curious too. It seemed like Nonie listened to you, as she started following you around as if she was becoming protective of you which was completely out of character for her. It was then that Mrs White realized you could control those creatures, confirming her suspicion.

You couldn’t sleep at night because of it. Things weren’t supposed to turn out that way; Nonie wasn’t a bad person. Mrs White had told you that only bad people were used as subject for the Project, and she wasn’t. She couldn’t even talk, for God’s sake.

Nonie soon became unrecognizable and you started to question Hydra’s credibility for the first time. Could they be lying? Why would they harm an innocent person, your only friend, when the outside world was filled with genuinely bad people? You couldn’t deny that her new twisted form brought tears into your eyes, it would be a lie if you said otherwise. That wasn’t fair. Not to her.

But the more you pressed Mrs White about why they did it, the more she grew angry with you. She was never angry with you before, never lost her patience at your questions. And so you stopped asking.

Eventually, one day, you went against everything you believed in: Hydra.

Mrs White had personally assigned you a mission. You couldn’t recall the exact details of it because your memories of that time became a blur for some reason, but you remember that Nonie had to accompany you. Perhaps it was to test your control over her, but that wasn’t important.

What mattered was that you refused to complete the mission.

You didn’t understand what had come over you, but that day, as you walked with her and two Hydra agents… you set her free. You went against Hydra’s rules, and commanded her to just go as far as she could. You didn’t quite comprehend how you could do it, and you still don’t, but you were glad.

She left, not before taking the agents with her. At the time, you didn’t care; you didn’t feel guilty. That was the last time you ever saw her.

When you returned to the facility alone and empty-handed, they were livid. You had never seen them angrier, especially when you bluntly admitted to letting her go. For that, you were thrown into the punishment cell for a week straight: no bed, no heat, no window and no light. You were instructed to stay there and reflect on your mistakes, but even after the week of isolation passed you didn’t regret that decision.

It was Mrs White who eventually came to release you, wearing her usual red lipstick and a seemingly genuine smile as if she hadn’t been the one to lock you up in the first place. She then brought you to her office and made you watch a video.

You immediately recognized Nonie. It was from before Hydra took her, she looked healthier but she was still inevitably recognizable. In the video she was protesting against Hydra wearing a Captain America shirt.

“What does this mean?” You asked her once the video ended.

“Your friend was a terrorist.” She stated harshly. “She was against what we believe in. She wasn’t as innocent as you made her out to be. When we took her in, all we wanted was to reform her, to make her see things from the right point of view. She refused. She didn’t obey, nor did she show any signs of redemption. So we had to cut her tongue.”

At that revelation, you were left speechless.

“We put her in the same room with you hoping you’d be able to change her mind, but she never did. She never understood how much we’re doing to make the world a better place. She wasn’t happy about contributing to it - so we had to sacrifice her. We can’t help those who don’t want to be helped. We had to make her understand, we had to make her obey.”

“So you used my blood to turn her into… that?”

“We did. And you let her go.” Mrs White stared down at you with those cold, blue eyes, making you feel small. As if you made the worst mistake of your life.

Of course you had done something foolish. Hydra would never lie to you. They had their reasons for anything they did, and you had dared to question them. You had never felt more guilty.

“I’m so, so sorry Mrs White.” You apologized. “How can I make it up to you? To all of us?”

“I need you to find someone for me before it’s too late.” She grinned malevolently, but you interpreted it as a kind smile - you could have never known. “Can you do it for me?”

“I can do anything.”

* * * *

The sound of gentle knocks on the wooden door pulled you out of your thoughts, something you had wished had happened sooner since you’d been thinking about nothing but Nonie and your time in Hydra ever since you explained the whole situation to Natasha. You had told her everything you knew and suspected, along with the truth about who you were - and she was shocked, to say the least.

And rightfully so. She had come to help with the mission without informing anyone on the team because her fiancée was missing and she couldn’t stay there without doing nothing about it, only to hear stories about Wendigos and hunters; not exactly what anyone would expect, especially someone as skeptical as Natasha.

She thought you were under some substances for a moment, but eventually you managed to convince her.

“Sorry to disturb you, how are you doing?” Cassandra’s voice broke the silence as she observed you from the doorway.

“I should be the one asking that.” You replied with a dry chuckle. You were sitting on your bed, rummaging through a drawer in search of something quite specific that you wanted to ask her about. “Come over here for a second.”

She approached, and sat next to you with a small frown of confusion on her face. She watched as you pulled out a stack of papers, the very same ones you had found days ago in her house. You gave up trying to understand what she wrote on it a long time ago, but you had been thinking about asking her about it ever since you found out she was alive.

“Where did you find these?” Cassandra’s expression shifted to one of surprise, as she took the papers from your hands.

“I kind of… broke into your house a few nights ago and found these on the floor of your bedroom. Thought it was something important.” You explained, carefully watching her reaction. “I couldn’t read a single word, though.”

“Yeah, well… I’m a doctor.” She joked, but her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s stuff from University. I don’t know how this got on the floor. It’s nothing important, though, just some things I wrote down in a hurry.” She shrugged it off, tearing the papers apart and handing you back the pieces.

“Oh.” You said, looking at it. “Okay, stupid of me to think it meant something, but I wanted to be sure.”

“We should go downstairs or I’m afraid Natasha will kill Bucky soon enough. After what happened last night she has been lecturing him. It’s quite funny to see the bad, big Super Soldier with a pout as she yells at him.” Cassandra rose from the bed and rushed towards the door. “Come on?”

“Coming.��� You said with a small smile, leaving the papers on your bed, mentally noting to throw them away later.

You followed Cassandra downstairs, where the scene unfolding was quite ironic in your eyes. Bucky sat in the corner of the couch, looking like a scolded child, while Natasha glared at him from the armchair; both seemed ready to jump at each other’s throat.

On one side stood a Window who didn’t let any mistake slip lightly; for her, Bucky’s flirting with someone outside the team was a mission-threatening error. On the other side stood a Soldier with his own ideas on how to handle things, both hot-headed individuals with a shared past.

Catastrophic, one would say.

But Natasha’s anger made sense to you, especially given the fact that the woman she was supposed to marry soon had been kidnapped, and Bucky had been getting cozy with another woman instead of focusing on the task at hand. So, you didn’t blame her.

Bucky’s eyes met yours the moment you entered the living room, and he shifted uncomfortably likely aware that if Natasha was angry, you were even more furious. He’d be too after the things he said to you and how he acted the previous night, but what was done was done.

“Where are Sam and Dean?” You asked once you reached the two of them, directing your gaze at Natasha even knowing that Bucky was the one with the answer since the redhead didn’t know the brothers personally yet.

“The Impala is parked outside.” Bucky responded before Natasha could speak. “I was just going to drag their asses here before someone decided to scold me.” He sent a glare to Natasha.

“Good.” You answered without any warmth in your voice, striding towards the door with quick steps.

You didn’t forget the words that the stranger told you the previous night about Dean, and about who you could and couldn’t trust. And you hated to admit that perhaps you had been thinking about the rest of the things he said more than you’d like to admit. For some reason, you didn’t tell anyone about your encounter, and you didn’t know why.

Stepping out of the house you crossed the lawn toward the Winchester’s place, knocking firmly on the door and waiting for a response. You didn’t even spare a thought for Sam’s role in all of this; lately, Dean had been the one acting strangely and the one the man in black mentioned the day before.

Not to talk about Bucky’s words from the other night at Mrs Thompson’s house, about Dean knowing more things about you than he let on. Your mind had been full of doubts ever since, and it was time to get some answers.

“Yes?” A man that you had never seen before asked as he opened the door, dressed in a long beige coat over a suit.

“Move.” You said curtly, brushing past him, but what greeted you inside the house made you stop dead in your tracks. You knew they were weird, but holy shit.

As you stood inside, you took your time admiring the view; it wasn’t the strangest thing you’ve ever seen, actually it was quite the style you had pictured for them. There were symbols all over the walls, along with some crosses scattered around. The windowsills had salt on them, but the thing that got you was the huge star with a circle around in painted on the floor.

“I think you got the wrong house.” The man from moments ago stated, his voice tinged with suspicion.

You turned to face him, finding his gaze narrowed, but before you could respond, a sudden wave of pain hit you straight to the head, causing you to instinctively press a hand to your temple. “Holy shit, not again.” You muttered through gritted teeth.

“The shit is not holy.” The man replied with a serious tone almost as if he got offended, and you managed to shoot him a deadpan glare before the nosebleed started.

“Castiel, what-“ Dean arrived into the room, his concern quite evident as he rushed to your side after seeing your state. It was due to the symbols on the wall that you felt that sick, like it happened at Malcom’s house a few nights ago. Not that you knew because no one had the decency to tell you.

Dean wasted no time dragging you out of the house under Castiel’s watchful eyes following your every movement. As if nothing had happened, once you were outside the pain stopped and your view stopped being a blur, Dean’s hand firmly on your shoulder as if to steady you.

“How about next time you just call me, uh?” He said with a small smile, though he could sense you weren’t in the mood for humour. 

“How about you stop being a dick and tell me what the fuck is going on?” You shot back.

“Listen, I’m sorry if haven’t been the greatest teammate in the world, but I had my reasons.” Dean explained, his hand sliding onto your arm as he searched your eyes. “And believe it or not, I did it for you.”

You took a deep breath, his words confused you as you didn’t think it made a sense. “You left Cassie locked in a room because of me? Do you think I’m an idiot?!”

“No!” He quickly said. “That time I had some other things to think about, but I promise I had good reasons.” Dean attempted to defend himself, a hint of his signature smile on his face as he raised his thumps up.

“… Care to explain? Because right now, I kind of want to punch you in the face.” You said, your tone sharp. “And who’s this guy? I feel like he’s digging a hole in my skull with the way he’s staring at me.” You added, pointing behind your shoulder at the man who looked rather constipated.

“Cas, this is Emma.” Dean introduced, gesturing towards you. “Emma, meet Castiel.”

“Castiel? As in the angel you told me about?” You raised an eyebrow, turning to look at the man.

“In the flesh. Kind of.” Dean confirmed with a nod.

“Why did you involve an angel in this mess?” You asked Dean, before turning back towards the angel. “Can’t you go tell God to snap his pretty little fingers for once in his life and solve this shit himself? His sabbatical year is lasting forever.”

“He isn’t home.” Castiel answered calmly. “And he would not help you. I know what you are, you weren’t in his plans.”

“Castiel.” Dean warned sharply, making you furrow your eyebrows.

“What’s going on?” Your eyes shiftet between the man and the angel, as they stared at each other. The tension between the two of them was almost intimate, you had to admit.

But back to the point.

“Nothing’s going on.” Dean dismissed your question quickly, grabbing your arm to pull you closer to his side. “And you, I told you to stay out of it.” He pointed at the angel.

You snatched your arm from his grip, getting between them. “Why did you agree on this case, Dean?” You asked, repeating the same thing the stranger had told you to ask him the previous night. You had been thinking about that specific question ever since the words left the stranger’s mouth, and by the look of it it you made the right decision.

Dean’s expression totally changed to one of anger, as he gritted his teeth. “Why are you asking that?” He said, his voice lower than you ever heard him do. He suspected why you asked that, and the thought upset him because he had tried to not bring that man to you in vain it seemed.

“Answer me.” You stood your ground.

“I told you he’d go to her. Threatening him isn’t the way of getting rid of him, and you knew it.” Castiel spoke, his voice measured but firm. The man in front of him shook his head as he ran a hand over his face in frustration.

“What did he say to you?” Dean demanded, forcefully making you look at him. He put both of his hands on your arms while you looked at him as if he was crazy, because let’s be honest he seemed fucking possessed. His eyes bore into yours with a ferocity that made him seem like a different person entirely.

“Nothing.” You replied, bewildered by his sudden behavior.

“Don’t lie to me, this is important, Emma. What did he say to you?!” He repeated, his grip tightening.

You stared back at him, trying to understand what had caused this drastic change in less that one second. Up until now, you’d known Dean to be the fun, occasionally harsh guy (only towards poor Sam). This, however, was something else entirely. You had to remind yourself that you didn’t really know him, and this might be the real Dean.

“Nothing!” You spat again, yanking your arms free from his grasp. “I don’t know what the hell is going on with you, Dean, but if you don’t fucking talk right now I will get my answers somewhere else.” You threatened, referring to the man in black you met the previous night. That man manifested out of the blue and he already managed to compromise things, that didn’t look promising.

“Hey!” Bucky’s voice cut through the tension, but it did nothing to break the staring contest between you and Dean. “You put your hands on her again and I’ll kill you.”

Dean finally tore his gaze from you to glance at Bucky, his expression still dark. He took a few steps back away from you, but he didn’t seem threatened by the Soldier’s words. “Keep your girlfriend away from trouble.” He muttered, walking over to your house.

“Are you okay?” He approached you.

“Now you care.” You huffed, as you walked past him following Dean without a word.

Bucky scoffed, and before he could join the two of you his eyes landed on the unknown figure standing awkwardly on the crosswalk. “You are…?”

“Castiel, I’m an Angel of the Lord.” He waved.

“An Angel of the L- nah, I’m too old for this.”

Back inside the house, the tension between you and Dean could be cut with a knife, evident even to Nat and Cassie who exchanged confused glances. Dean stormed over to his usual armchair, dropping into it with a heavy sigh, while you took a seat beside Natasha.

Natasha’s eyes darted between you and Dean, sensing the strain even if she didn’t know the guy. But she knew you, and she knew that the was you were biting your nails to the quick only meant you weren’t exactly relaxed. “Is that the hunter you told me about?” She asked quietly.

“One of the two.” You replied matching her tone. “Where’s Sam?” You asked Dean. He raised his green eyes from his phone, his expression as stern as before.

“At William’s house, he should be back soon.” He answered. His gaze shiftet to Natasha, his eyebrows shot up in surprise and a grin spread across his face. “Hello there.”

“Lunatic.” You mumbled under your breath.

Once Castiel and Bucky entered the house with Bucky looking rather confused, he took the empty spot on the couch beside you.

“Let’s get down to business.” Dean smacked his hand together and Cassandra straightened her posture, understanding that it was finally her turn to speak. “The patient you were treating at the hospital, tell us all you know.”

Cassandra took a deep breath before answering. “I don’t know who the guy was.” She started. “But I already knew at the time what my father did to people, and the malformations he had weren’t normal, so I immediately understood what was going on. I didn’t want any other person to find out so I demanded to treat the guy on my own, he was alive for about a week before he passed. He wasn’t able to tell me anything, he was more in a vegetative state.”

“Why did Malcom have his body in that sort of basement in the shed at his house?” Bucky inquired.

At Malcom’s name she rightfully flinched. But the reason she was so stiff, you figured, wasn’t entirely associated with the fact that she was being questioned. She wasn’t comfortable with Dean in the room, nor with Bucky or Castiel. But she had to speak, or else you’d get stuck in fucking Nebraska forever and she wouldn’t go back to her old life.

“Malcom was a part of Hydra. Not really an agent, he was too goddamn stupid for that, but he was hired to kidnap people for them. I don’t know why he stole the body from the cemetery since, as I said, the man was dead already. He was quite disturbed in case you didn’t notice.” She shrugged, avoiding anyone’s gaze.

“Where were you kept all this time?” You asked.

She cleared her throat. “They sedated me before locking me up in the facility, so I have no idea how far it was from here but I’m sure it was in the city. Malcom brought me there and he was also the one that freed me. I don’t know why he did that in the first place, but…” She trailed off. “Nothing he did really made sense.”

“We found some videos on his laptop. He was kidnapping women before he took you, and none of those women were sent to Hydra - apparently they’re all buried in his backyard and he used them to… practice on how to be good to you. But why did he brought you there only for saving you in the end? If saving is even the correct word to use.” Dean asked, firmly studying her expressions. He didn’t seem any calmer than before, as you could still feel the very much present tension in the air, but at least he wasn’t taking it out on her.

“I believe it isn’t.” Castiel shook his head. You wondered why this guy was even involved since he wasn’t really helping out - you didn’t know what angels were capable of, but fuck he had to have a role in this. He just was standing in the corner of the room, on Dean’s right, occasionally glaring at you.

Cassandra frowned at the angel’s word, not having a clue on who he was. Poor woman saw people walk in and out without an idea of what they were doing there, but she didn’t complain. “It’s not, even though I wasn’t really a prisoner in his house. He didn’t keep me locked in a room or anything, I was free to walk around the property freely… but that was just another kind of prison because he always watched me. I don’t know why he brought me back, though. I just know my father gave the order, imagine my shock when I found out those two knew each other. I’m sorry, that’s all I know.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” You reassured her.

“What did they do to you at the facility?” Bucky bluntly asked.

Cassie cleared her throat before she spoke. “I was kept in a cell at first, with other people. Then they moved me into another place who wasn’t any better than that hole due to my father’s orders.” You saw her eyes water, before continuing. “He made me watch the experiments they did, saying I had to stop crying about it and accept that it would be my duty to take his place after he retired. He said it was my fault for finding out what he was doing, and that I had to take my responsibilities.”

You had an idea or two on what watching that monstrosity did to your mental health. Watching people either die or suffer atrociously wasn’t a walk in the part for you when you were a kid even if you were used to it, let alone a woman who was catapulted in that hell from a day to another.

“Where’s Sawyer now, Cassandra?” Natasha asked, her voice firm yet soft. She wasn’t oblivious to what Hydra did either, of course.

Tears begun to fall from the blonde’s eyes, and she attempted her best to dry her cheeks. “I didn’t mean it.” She said, her voice not louder than a shaky breath.

You exchanged a frowning glance with Nat, and as you were about to ask what she meant by that, Dean beat you to it.

“You didn’t mean what?”

“We had a fight.” She started. “The day before Malcom kidnapped me again, we had a fight. I kept refusing to see his point of view on things, I told him I didn’t want to join Hydra and the horrific things they did… he… he tried to force me to inject that liquid in someone but instead… instead I injected him.” By the time she finished, she was straight up sobbing.

“The Wendigo in Mrs Miller’s house.” Dean realized.

“What?” Cassandra said, looking at you pleadingly. “No, no, you- there was a Wendigo in my mom’s house?” She started to panic straight away, putting two and two together. It made sense that the creature was Sawyer considering that he wasn’t a Hydra prisoner and he could get back home whenever he wanted.

“Cassie.”

“Tell me my mom is fine.” She looked at each person in the room, but neither of you had the guts to look back at her. How could you tell a daughter that her mother had probably been mauled by a monster, monster that could have been her own father that she helped transform.

“She is.” Castiel, who you swore had disappeared a few minutes ago, spoke calmly as usual. “She is on her piece of heaven right now, I made sure myself. But I am sorry for your loss.”

That was supposed to give her some closure with time, you believed, but in the meantime the girl completely broke down. You got up the couch to go in the kitchen, thinking that maybe she could use a glass of water. Sure, it wasn’t the kind of comfort she needed but it was all you could give her then, if there was even something right to say in that situation. Nothing would give her back her mother.

With a full glass of cold water you were ready to go back in the living room, but as you turned around you were startled by a tall figure who got behind you without you even noticing.

“I’m sorry for yesterday.” Bucky immediately said before you could leave. “I had good reasons, I promise.”

“I’m sure you had.” You replied, your tone dripping with sarcasm. “But now it’s not the time.” You tried to walk past him but his hand found your belly, and he stopped you on your tracks.

“Listen, I truly am sorry for how I acted but can you please, just for once, let me explain instead of giving me the cold shoulder for the whole day?” He said.

“You’re a master in cold… shouldering.” You huffed. “So don’t get pissed at me about it.”

Bucky’s eyes softened, and he took a step closer, lowering his voice. “I know, and you’re right to be angry. But please just hear me out one second.”

You paused, contemplating whether to shove him off and go back to Cassie or actually hearing what he had to say. But to be honest, you didn’t quite like the atmosphere between you two, so you nodded. “Make it quick.”

“First of all, it’s true I stormed out because of what Cassandra said. I cooled off immediately, and I was about to head back home when I realized I was closer to Mrs Miller’s house. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to go take a look, right?”

You raised an eyebrow at his words, still skeptical. Sam and Dean hadn’t found anything related to the case after the Wendigo escaped and, as far as you understood, the house was just a bloody mess. “What did you find?”

“The remnants of a spiritual ritual.” Bucky said. “I’ve done my homework on what Sam and Dean do, I even asked them directly and they explained how they usually did that… I’m sure it was a ritual. I think they summoned some sort of spirit in that house, but I can’t understand why. What’s really odd is that they didn’t mention any of this to us.”

You narrowed your eyes, processing what he said. This did nothing to put down the doubts you’ve been having on the brothers and why they kept on hiding things from the both of you. “And… how did you end up with Dalia?”

He sighed. “I met her on the way home. I didn’t mean for things to go that far, but she mentioned how she used to be Cassandra’s old friend and I took the opportunity. I even got Mrs Wright’s address and I had to play the cheating husband to have it, I apologize again for that but I promise I didn’t mean to be an asshole.”

“You had to sleep with her to get an address?”

“Sleep with her?” He sounded somewhat offended. “I told you I can keep it in my pants, Emma, I didn’t sleep with anyone. I just made her believe I would.”

“Oh.” You said. “When you put it like it kinda has sense.”

“We good?” Bucky asked, his eyes searching yours.

“Maybe next time don’t make me look like an idiot and text me what the plan is.” You replied with a hint of frustration in your voice. “I thought something bad had happened to you.”

“Fair enough.” He said. “You know, you’re cute when you’re angry.”

“Huh… guys?” Natasha interrupted, her face turning into a frown once she saw how close you were to Bucky. Under her gaze, you felt the need to put as much distance as you could between the two of you.

“Yes?”

“What?”

“Sam is back, he doesn’t have good news.” She said, gesturing for both of you to follow her back inside the living room.

Dean was the first person you saw once you walked in, and he had two fingers pressed on the bridge of his nose, seeming more frustrated than before. Cassie was still crying, and you doubted she would stop anytime soon. You walked over to her, handing her the glass of water - she thanked you with the tiniest smile for that.

“Sam?” Bucky called him. “What happened?”

“William is gone.” Sam broke the news. “I brought him back his brother’s phone since we had no use of it as everything on it was deleted and we said our goodbyes. I realized I forgot the fake badge inside and I came back to take it, but he was gone. Vanished in less than ten minutes.”

“And you did’t see anyone around?” You asked.

“No. No one broke in or out, there were no screams or anything. He just… disappeared.” Sam explained.

“Why the long faces?” A sudden voice made you all look up. In the corner of the room stood the man in black that had occupied your mind for longer that it should have in these hours. That smirk still very much present on his face. “Hello, boys.” He waved casually at the brothers.

“Crowley.” Castiel mumbled, sensing that something bad was probably going to happen.

Sam immediately reached for a strange knife with odd incisions on it that you had seen before, positioning himself defensively in front of you. The action left you speechless for a moment - first, Dean attacked you for the simple thought that you had met that man, now Sam tried to protect you for the same reason? It was as clear as a day that those three knew each other, and there was obviously some unresolved issues.

“Sammy.” The man, Crowley, said with irony as he rolled his eyes. With a casual flick of his wrist, the younger Winchester was hurled across the room, crashing into the wall. “I didn’t come here to fight, but you always want to kill me. Behave for a second.”

“You’re not welcome here.” Castiel spoke, his tone firm and unwavering.

“Castiel, you’re breaking my heart. But if I’m not mistaken, you were the ones who called me, weren’t you?” He pointed at the brothers and the angel, a sly smile playing on his lips. “And look who we have here, the Winter Soldier and the Black Widow. Quite the team, you are. Down there we used to root for you when you used to be interesting and killed people for a living.”

“What are you doing here?” Dean asked, his voice lacked of any patience.

“We had a deal.” The man shot back. “I gave you my help, and I got a bunch of flies in return. That’s not how it works.” His eyes then fell on you, and Bucky instinctively moved closer to your side. “I can’t believe you’re still waisting time with these losers.”

“Do you know him?” Bucky asked, his eyes firm on the problem in the room.

“No.” You replied confused. “I mean, he was the one that told me where to find you last night and that’s it.”

“My dear, you wound me.” He said, making the theatrical gesture of stabbing himself in the heart. “I believe I said much more than where to find him, didn’t I? I made you an offer.”

“What is he talking about?” Natasha shot a glare in your direction, as she stayed close to Cassie who didn’t even had the time to process the news of the death of her mother that an intruder magically appeared inside the living room. “Emma?”

You swallowed hard, having everyone’s eyes on you. “He knows things about my past. And he isn’t even bluffing if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Of course he’s bluffing. He lies, Emma. That’s what he does.” Sam said, still with the knife in his hand but keeping his distance that time. “Now leave, we’ll pay you back with something else for your help later, after we solve the case.”

“Nah, don’t bother yourself.” He shrugged. “And I don’t lie, first of all. That’s quite offensive, don’t you think?” He raised a brow. “If anything, I have the bad habit of omitting important details.” Crowley defended himself, his voice smooth and confident. “Why don’t you tell her what you’ve been hiding, Dean? See if things can finally get interesting in this miserable story.” He challenged, taking a few steps closer to Dean.

“Dean?” You looked at him.

His jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing at the intruder. “I haven’t lied about anything.” He shot back, his voice full of irritation. But you had a feeling he wasn’t really telling the truth.

“Is that so?” The man said, shaking his head. “Funny, really, because I seem to recall a few little details you conveniently left out. Why don’t we start with the fact that you were sent here to kill her?”

Your head snapped so fast in Dean’s direction that you almost felt the bone break. For a moment you thought that you must have misheard him, because - come on, kill you? He didn’t have a reason to do that. But as you looked around at the silent people in the room, you saw that almost everyone shared your bewildered expression.

Everyone, except Sam and Castiel. They had been knowing all along, it was evident.

Your hand, for reasons you didn’t have time to process, sought some sort of physical contact with Bucky who was right by your side.

Dean’s expression hardened, but he remained silent. He didn’t try to save his ass with lame excuses or real explanation, which was the least he could do. His silence spoke volumes, confirming what the stranger had just said - killing you was what Dean Winchester was sent to do.

“Who ordered you to kill me?” You asked, managing to keep your voice steady and firm even though, inside, you didn’t even know what you were feeling.

Dean hesitated before giving you an answer. “Fury.”

[sisterkosho]

General Headcanons | Nanako Asano

Notes: So as I mentioned before, I’ve been having a bit of Tokyo Revengers brainrot as of late. And after some consideration, I figured I might as well just start letting it all out on here since the fandom still seems to be somewhat active compared to other sites. With that said, I offer you this little headcanon post centering around OC I’m currently working on. She’s still in the early stages of development so everything here is subject to change (and likely will be rewritten later), but for now I kinda just wanted to share the stuff that’s been floating around my brain as I work on her. Enjoy!

Nanako is a delinquent from the Roppongi district known for being particularly close to the Haitani brothers.

She first met the two when she was just 13 after wandering into territory they claimed was theirs. And while she wasn’t affiliated with any gang at the time, she was clearly a delinquent.

As such, the encounter inevitably led to a fight, and although she held her own surprisingly well given the circumstances of a 2 v 1 against boys clearly stronger than she was, she ultimately lost in the end.

However, perhaps because of her impressive skills in combat or her “natural charisma” as he put it, Ran seemed to take a liking to her over the duration of the fight.

Right then and there, he decided that he wanted to keep her around.

He’d have her join them, and nothing was going to change his mind,

This left Nanako… a bit taken aback, to say the least. It was all so sudden, and it sounded more like a demand than an offer. Just who did this kid think he was anyway???

She was fully prepared to tell him off, but once she actually took a moment to consider it… she realized that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea.

It may have sounded crazy, but these boys were freakishly strong. So much so that they could easily take over the entire district if they wanted to. In fact, she had no doubt that they would sooner rather than later.

Getting in close with people like that could be the one chance she needed to make it big in the delinquent world, and that… well, that sounded fun.

And considering she did lose a fight against them on their own turf, a part of her felt like it would only be fair to accept. That’s how these kinds of things worked after all.

So from then on, Nanako followed behind them, serving as their right hand. And as expected, it wasn’t long before they had taken over Roppongi.

They became total big shots, and being associated with them gained her quite the reputation amongst delinquents in the area.

After all, the brothers were known for their independence and refusal to be a part of any gang, so for her to have gotten so close to them… she must’ve been something special.

It was thanks to all that that she eventually ended up becoming a part of the S-62 generation on Ran’s recommendation.

A part of her knew that maybe they were going too far by that point, getting involved in things they probably shouldn’t. But she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Even with the way things had turned out, she was happy. She was having fun. But most importantly, she had people she cared about more than anything in the world.

So when it came down to it, she didn’t care what kind of path she went down. She’d follow them anywhere, no matter what.

From Tenjiku to Bonten, she stood by their side. And never once did she regret a thing.

She was having the time of her life, and she wouldn’t trade it for the world no matter how many hardships they faced. Though really, she felt like she had it made most of the time.

To her, the Haitani brothers are like family.

Rindou is like the little brother she never had.

He started calling her “big sis” as a joke, but it ended up sticking.

She goes drinking with him sometimes and it always ends in shenanigans of some sort.

She always takes the fall so he doesn’t get in trouble.

They’ve played tic tac toe on Ran’s forehead on numerous occasions.

Ran calls her “Nana-chan”.

The two had this sort of unspoken thing going on between them for awhile until Rindou started trying to play matchmaker.

He wasn’t the greatest wingman but somehow it worked out.

In both the Bonten arc and the final timeline, Nanako and Ran ended up married.

In the final timeline, she works as a bartender at the Haitani brothers’ club.

[scarletwritesshit]

Yosuke Hanamura x F!Reader ❀ Town of Blossoms ❀ June 13th, 2013

You looked out of your window when you woke up, sometime during late morning. Things remained unchanged, just as they were the day before. All of the flowers were still in full bloom, the heat was not letting up, and your thoughts still lingered.

The repeated awkward close encounters were not helping you wrangle these thoughts, either. They were chewing away at you, occupying your mind whenever you let your guard down. Despite this, you hadn’t quite been able to say precisely what was on your mind. It somehow felt more pitiful than genuine whenever an urge struck to say how you truly felt. Pity was not your true intention, yet an ever-present worry was that Yosuke may misinterpret what you were saying in the shock of the moment.

You had to figure out something, but what? You and Yosuke were entrapped in a purgatory that bordered an unbreakable friendship and a tightly bound romance. It was a matter of taking the right step forward at precisely the right time; unfortunately, your chances have been limited, if you had any at all. Keep putting it off, and your chances were sure to slip away from you.

If you weren’t careful, Yosuke himself could completely slip from your life altogether.

Ending up alone wouldn’t be an unexpected outcome. The signs of the others eventually leaving were there from the very start, even if you refused to acknowledge them. You still had a sneaking suspicion, but you denied it. Denied every single possible outcome.

Now, you knew that Souji was not going to hang around Inaba for very long. You had already come to terms with his inevitable departure, though, it was incredibly easy to forget about. Most of the time, your attention was directed towards his leadership of the Investigation Team, making it quite easy to forget that he would eventually be parting ways with your group as you know it.

The defining force that bought you all together would also be the one to foretell splitting up.

Chie…you’ve always wondered how long she was going to stick around in the first place. Her temper was particularly short, and she was way too eager to jump the gun. It came in handy during combat, though, as she would quite literally kick a shadow's ass when the opportunity would arise.

That kind of attitude generally does not work well around people, and before you knew it, she eventually stopped talking with the team altogether. Perhaps it was for the best.

Yukiko was far more lowkey than her feral counterpart. She was known for having an eccentric sense of humor, but she always managed to lighten the mood with her awfully contagious laugh. Though she didn’t have the attitude of a fighter like Chie did, she was arguably the only reason why you and the rest survived. Her healing magic was remarkably potent, and not even the fury of the heavens could overpower her healing.

As fun as she was to be around, responsibilities eventually became Yukiko’s top priority. The inn wasn’t going to run itself, and she was destined to take over one way or another. She would be insane to pass this opportunity up, as it was a free ride to easy money in a town whose businesses have become overshadowed by Junes as of late. It was understandable why she went her own path, but that didn’t make your parting any easier to bear.

Once Kanji had accepted himself and his talent, he quickly became a well-known and respected seamster throughout Inaba. He became sort of a celebrity among the younger kids, ironic considering how he was once labeled as a feared criminal. Maybe the children found it exciting rather than frightening to have their plush toys repaired by a former gang member. Who knows. Regardless, you knew that he was happy with his occupation as the young children could not stop talking about his handiwork in one way or another.

You didn’t expect Naoto to have much time for frivolous activities once the case was laid to rest. She didn't have much free time in the first place, between her assistance at the police department and solving the murder on the side with the Investigation Team. She still made efforts to keep in contact, as sparse as her updates may be, but working for the police force was a rather straining job for a young lady her age.

At least she didn't disappear like Rise. Maybe her rabid fans caught up to her, forcing her to transfer schools?  The updates on the news seem to be showing her doing well, but she hasn't spoken to anyone from the team since, at least to your knowledge.

And Teddie...well...he practically lived his life as June's mascot now. It's admirable how he somehow never got tired of the bustling crowds.

Sure, some people managed to stay in contact, but it still hurt knowing that they were all moving on with their lives independent of one another. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you always dreaded the day that everyone would begin to drift apart.

Unfortunately, your fears were proven true, and eventually that once tight knit bond between the members of the Investigation Team that somehow stood through the wrath of foreign worlds and fearsome demons was eroded by the merciless force of time.

You feared the worst, that this would happen with you and Yosuke. Perhaps some form of unfortunate circumstance would arise, forcing the two of you to be split apart. There was always a lingering concern of him having to move away due to his parents' business, yet thankfully, they seemed here to stay to manage the branch. At the time, however, other concerns plagued your mind, including the very probable chance of death within the televisions. Everyone made it out alive, thankfully, but you cannot deny that the fear of losing the life of someone close to you kept you on edge.

Even with all worries considered, there was also the possibility that you two could just...naturally drift apart. Maybe you were doomed to fall out of love with him, or maybe he would lose interest in your company altogether…

So far, your bond has managed to stand the test of time and has held strong despite, well, everything. It didn’t seem like Yosuke had any intention of leaving your side any time soon.

Or at all, for that matter. He was far too attached to the Investigation Team when it was together, and it was physically paining to see his closest friends fade away right before his eyes. Sure, it stung you greatly as well, but it hurt even more to see your once insanely energetic best friend become absolutely devastated every time the realization sank in that he was slowly but surely on the path to becoming isolated once again.

You were going to make sure that didn't happen to him, one way or another. You made every effort to hold onto your friendship, through every up and down and misunderstanding.

It wasn’t out of pure desire to pursue a romantic relationship. It was done out of genuine care for Yosuke.

Your view on it as a whole was more like...a friendship was nice, and you wouldn’t be upset if you never got together. But god damn, did you love that man to death. And how very badly you wanted to express that to him, too.

In a way, you’ve been able to. Sort of. It was more of a platonic love, or at least you told yourself that. Such as platonically swearing to never leave his side for as long as you may live. Or spending practically every lunch period together, discussing random topics or merely sitting with each other and watching the traffic go by. Not to mention, platonically sharing a bed once or twice.

That last one was debatable, but you’ll just keep telling yourself that it is all for the sake of being a good friend.

After all, a healthy relationship does start with a strong friendship.

Though, you wondered. Were you perhaps...a bit too attached to him? Was wanting to spend so much time with Yosuke only damaging your bonds, leading to you two eventually growing sick of each other?

It was a worry that indeed burdened your mind quite frequently. As much as you would try to shoo these thoughts away, they always returned. Sometimes, it kept you from hanging out with him on days that you would normally ask to go somewhere.

He was always as excited to spend time with you as the last time you asked him. Even if it were multiple days in the row where you spent all of your free time together physically or on the phone, he was clearly overjoyed.

You couldn’t let your own self-doubts stand in the way of something more. Or anything at all.

But you weren’t getting anywhere silently sitting alone in your room. The spring season was coming to a close in a few days, marking not only the end of a season, but the end of an era. It was hard to believe, as the heat was already showing no mercy in the passion that it ignited. What was yet to come after the official start of summer can only be imagined, and it was approaching fast.

In the midst of your thoughts, you glanced down at your floor to notice a few stray blue petals laying in front of your door arranged in an inconsistent path.

How did those get here? you wondered. Perhaps you had mindlessly stepped on a few while walking through Junes, or some flowers made their way onto the sidewalks that you usually traverse. You picked one of the mangled petals up and blankly observed it.

Then, it suddenly hit you. You knew what you had to do.

You grabbed your phone and immediately began to text Yosuke, for the first time all day.

[threewaysdivided]

I just read that ask about Vlad that you did and was wondering if you had any thoughts about Jack and Maddie. They have clear love for there kids and when they know they are in danger they will drop everything for them, but they also don't notice when there is somthing wrong going on. Valerie would be another good one, though I think that she mostly framed around how whe is manipulated by others (like Vlad).

(the Vlad ask)

So, I have quite a few thoughts on Maddie and Jack, and they’re probably some of the most complex.

I’ve talked about this before but one of the quirks/ bugs/ features of Danny Phantom’s tumultuous production and at-times-contradictory canon is that there can be multiple disparate readings that are all somewhat supported.  And no more is this true than for the (nominally) good Doctors Fenton.

Let’s talk about the meta-side first because it’s kind of fascinating.

Issa Nicktoon

Sounds kind of dismissive to say it that way but I think it’s important to remember that Danny Phantom is an early 2000s TV7+ (i.e. “for kids”) Nicktoon and some artefacts of canon are clearly concessions to the medium.

As a formulaic episodic kids show, the Status Quo is God - characters rarely experience substantial change or ongoing arcs/ consequences and even episodic A-Plots tend to reset major developments by the end.  (I’ve talked about some of the problems it causes for Sam specifically here.)

Things like hyperbolic cartoonery and Aesops are also in play; characterisation and situations getting hyper-charged or hijacked by the Idiot Ball/ Jerk Ball/ Conflict Ball etc. in service of jokes or whatever “moral lesson” a given episode might decide to be about.  (It’s really not in-keeping for Danny to act like he did in Livin’ Large but the show wanted a “don’t be materialistic/ wealth isn’t everything” lesson so he got Jerk-Balled.)

There’s also stuff that mostly exists for narrative convenience, and that the producers either didn’t consider or actively try to avoid the implications of.  Maddie and Jack being as clueless as they are about their kids is at least partially a convenience to keep them out of the way.  The show doesn’t want to engage with the implications of ghosts being dead people, the implications of ghosts being sentient, or the fridge-logic/ fridge-horror ramifications of a bunch of its one-liners and contrivances.  It wants to be a fun hero comedy cartoon with a spooky twist and it absolutely doesn’t want you thinking about any of it too hard.

Because of that, you kind of have to be selective about when to read things ‘to the letter’ and when to read things ‘in spirit’.  Do you choose to take everything as having literally happened as depicted (even when those things could have terrible or story-breaking implications) or do you take the general impression from the whole and exclude specific outliers on the grounds that they only exist as a concession to the nature of the show?

Maddie and Jack’s Weird Fictional Niche

I also want to briefly touch on the unusual narrative space the Fentons occupy in the realm of hero-story-parents.

(For simplicity I’m going to take inspiration from OSP’s video and refer to the ‘secret’ side of the double-life that teen superhero/ urban fantasy protagonists interact with as the ‘fantastical world’.)

When it comes to stories with child/ teen heroes who have living parents, I feel like you can map most of them against 3 axes:

How aware are they of the fantastical world in general?

How aware are they of their kids’ activities in the fantastical world?

If they are involved in the fantastical world themselves, is it in a way that is supportive or antagonistic to their kids activities?

It’s a pretty stock trope for these parents to be both ignorant of the fantastical world (or at least, no more aware than the average person) and unaware of their kids activities.  This is often done by putting these parents somewhere on the scale between too preoccupied/ overworked to notice what’s going on and actively uncaring/ neglectful/ abusive.  Again, it’s mostly a narrative convenience to explain how the kids can get up to so many unsupervised shenanigans while also having a stable homebase.

Rarer is seeing parents who are directly involved in the fantastical world without being aware of or interacting with their kid’s activities.  I think the most common version here is typically when the parents are studying some tangential aspect of the fantastical world while their kids fight villains/ have adventures somewhere else.

What’s weird about Maddie and Jack is that not only are they fully aware of the fantastical world (being the ones to open the portal), they’re also completely unaware of their kids’ presence in that world even though they’re active in the same areas, AND - most unusually - they are personally antagonistic to most of that world and Danny’s alter-ego in specific. 

That’s pretty unique.  Typically you would expect that to be a villain archetype; a classic setup where the parents act as the main Bad Guys (or are working for the Big Bad) while their kids assume secret alter egos and enter the fantastical world in order to stop them. 

But that’s not what’s going on.  Despite qualifying as secondary antagonists, Maddie and Jack are never presented or treated as villains; they have no ‘evil scheme’ or agenda, they are not sadistic or exploitative.  The show frames them as likeable and relatable (if annoying).

And despite everything, both they and their kids sincerely love and want happiness/ success for each other.

The Fentons as Parents

To me, Maddie and Jack as parents embody the concept of and:  

Someone can love you and hurt you.

Someone can want the best for you and not understand who you are at all.

Someone can sincerely care about you and completely fail to recognise your needs.

Someone can want to support you and never be there when you need them most.

Someone can try their best and it can still not be anywhere near enough.

You can love someone and they can have hurt you in ways that might be unforgivable.

You can want to be with someone and they can be unhealthy for you to be around.

I think this is one of the places where Danny Phantom’s production being kind of a mess has allowed it to accidentally resonate with a rarely-depicted but very real emotional experience.

So, are they abusive and/or neglectful?

I want to be clear that abuse and/or neglect is in the impact, not the intent.  That isn’t to say intent is irrelevant (especially in fiction) but the most important thing is the effect.

And from that perspective…

Yeah, even with the most generous ‘in spirit’ reading Maddie and Jack are at the very least emotionally neglectful to their kids.  They are rarely present for their kids (definitely not consistently) and even when physically present they’re often mentally focussed elsewhere.  They rarely listen to Danny and Jazz; often talking over them, derailing conversations to be about ghosts and dismissing Danny and Jazz’s opinions on the topic when they try to participate by offering counterpoints.  While they don’t restrict their kid’s hobbies we rarely see them actively participate or encourage them on screen, and they often ignore Danny and Jazz’s attempts to express that they don’t want ghosts/ the supernatural being brought into all the family time they spend together.  It’s very easy to read Jazz’s interest in psychology as her at least partially trying to find the emotional guidance and framework that their parents are failing to provide, and to pass that on to Danny second-hand.

The Fenton household seems like it could be a very emotionally lonely and invalidating environment for a child to grow up in.  The thing with love is that it’s not just about feelings: it’s about actions, and (while Maddie and Jack no doubt feel and think that they love their kids unconditionally) what they have routinely shown Danny and Jazz is that - outside of emergencies - they will choose ghosts ahead of their children 90% of the time.

It’s also hard to ignore that - even in a generous reading - the Fenton parents probably do count as physically criminally negligent.  They have a laboratory in their basement where they deal with potentially biohazardous substances but there is no containment separating it from the rest of the house (it’s unclear if there’s even a door).  Danny’s chores include cleaning and equipment maintenance in the lab (some of which can be explosively dangerous) which he does without PPE or supervision.  The unsecured portal releases ghosts directly onto the premises, sending them up through the house on their way to terrorise the town.  Even outside the lab, the kids are at risk of being exposed to barely-tested stuff like Fenton-Foamer.  Maddie and Jack bring unsealed ectoplasmic samples and power sources to the breakfast table, sometimes storing them alongside or even using them to prepare the food their kids eat.  Danny only became Phantom (an event that either partly killed him or mutated him into some kind of hybrid) because a group of teenagers were allowed unsupervised access to a lab containing an un-signposted piece of malfunctioning equipment that was left connected to power.  (And sure, maybe the trio shouldn’t have snuck down there in the first place but “rely on a teenager to never do stupid things” should not be the sole safety precaution.)  None of that is good.

Taking a more strict ‘to the letter’ reading makes them seem much worse; at times crossing the line into ‘wilfully harmful’.  There’s a joke about how Jack has made most of the lab work Danny’s job because he’s too lazy to do it himself.  There’s the iron maiden thing, sometimes they lecture or scold Danny in a way that feels very not good, and then there was the whole bit about putting him in a spinner ‘to get the crazy out’ in The Fenton Menace.  It’s not invalid for people to argue that, based on a strict reading, the Fenton parents could be some form of abusive.

The Problem with Their Parenting

I think the core problem with the Fenton’s parenting can be summed up in this diagram:

The surface level problem is obvious: Maddie and Jack prioritise their work over their kids way too much.  That isn’t to say that parents’ lives should be 100% about their kids but they should be swinging for a better balance.  At the very least they should be able to have more than a handful of conversations with their kids that don’t end in them making it all about ghosts.  It’s like they can’t compartmentalise.

However, it’s that top one that’s the real problem.  Maddie and Jack’s paranoid hatred/ fear/ distrust of all things ghostly is a consuming fixation.  I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s partially driving their obsession with their work.

That ectophobia also creates a very emotional unhealthy (and at times physically unsafe) environment for Jazz and especially Danny.  Like I said in the DP’s asexual fanbase post every part of their lives from their language to their behaviour is steeped in casual prejudice.  Not only is it psychologically harmful for Danny and Jazz to be internalising these beliefs, it’s yet another thing that makes their love feel less certain/ more conditional.

It’s also a super weird mindset for a pair of supposed scientists to have.

Ectophobia and Bad Science

Maddie and Jack are pretty textbook examples of the Fantastic Racism Trope; they have an irrational hatred for specific paranormal entities and some of the things they do could definitely be categorised as Van Helsing Hate Crimes.

However, while it makes sense for the routinely-terrorised townsfolk of Amity Park to be generally anti-ghost based on their experiences, it’s very strange for Maddie and Jack to also have this mindset (considering that they were the ones who chose to actively seek them out for ‘study’), and even weirder that they are the ones who most strongly spread that rhetoric to the community.

The Doctors Fenton are very unscientific in a lot of ways; they don’t use any form of the scientific method (hypothesise → test → repeat) when it comes to ghosts, and they seemingly went into the field with series of pre-set beliefs that they had formed before gathering any firsthand data.

“It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.” -Sherlock Holmes

Not only that, but they’re very incurious about most ghostly things.  They seemingly aren’t interested in studying the behaviour of ghosts, their habits and interactions (ecto-ecology), or questioning why they might act a certain way.  Their approach seems to be more about hunting/capturing ghosts, taking them apart to see how they physically work and then using the remains to build new, more effective anti-ghost technology.

From that perspective, it’s almost worth questioning whether their anti-ghost prejudice is actually serving a self-protective function: if it’s less about the belief and more about what it enables.  If ghosts are inherently evil, dangerous, non-sentient/ impulse-driven, incapable of feeling pain or emotions and only imitating these things as a manipulative defence/ predation strategy then it’s not morally wrong for Maddie and Jack to hunt them and subject them to inhumane experimentation.  That might explain why their rhetoric has internal inconsistencies (“non-sentient manipulator” is an oxymoron) and why they continue to cling to it and double-down even when faced with contradictory evidence.  So long as they believe it, they never have to feel guilt or question themselves.

Obviously the actual answer is that it’s a Nicktoon and Maddie and Jack ever significantly changing their beliefs/ behaviour is Forbidden by the Formula™ but we’re analysing from a Watsonian perspective right now so hush. 

It would be interesting to know how they might have come about this belief in the first place, since it doesn’t seem to be from firsthand data.  Maybe they’re working from bad anecdotes or folklore, biasing towards the idea of ghosts as evil.  Maybe they’re carrying a personal bias from an early firsthand encounter (perhaps in their college days) that left a terrible first impression.

Whatever the case, the fact that they keep holding onto this hypothesis and dismissing alternatives, rather than actually testing it against the mounting pile of obviously contradictory evidence, kind of shows how unwilling - or maybe unable - they are to consider that they could be wrong.

“one of the greatest human failings is to prefer to be right than to be effective” -Stephen Fry

Narcissism vs Egocentrism

Something that strikes me is that Maddie, Jack and Vlad are in some ways extremely similar.  In the Vlad post, I said that one of the things that makes Vlad so dangerous is that he shows signs of malignant narcissism.  Similarly, I think the main thing that makes Maddie and Jack so unintentionally harmful is that they are supremely egocentric.

Egocentrism refers to someone's inability to understand that another person's view or opinion may be different than their own. …an egocentric person does not necessarily obsess over things like success, beauty, or status. They simply don't consider other people in their decision-making. -Verywell Mind

It’s more obvious in Jack because of his general social cluelessness; his opening line in the whole show is asking if insisting the kids want to hunt ghosts and then completely ignoring that all three say ‘no’; he brings up the ‘Hairy Chin’ nickname because he doesn’t see how that ‘funny memory’ might be embarrassing or hurtful.  Maddie is more socially savvy but there is also a benign condescension/ dismissiveness in her reaction towards views other than her own.  They are both more capable of compassion than Vlad but, like him, they show very little natural empathy. 

They both also tend to assume their perspective is universal/ correct, and/or not consider how their actions might affect other people.  It doesn’t seem to occur to them that maybe other people don’t want to talk about ghosts all the time.  They don’t consider how barging into the school and making a ruckus might impact their kids socially or hurt their relationship with the faculty.  They never develop perspective that maybe they should put aside their exhausting yearly Santa argument for the sake of a positive holiday experience with their kids, even though that argument never goes anywhere.  They don’t seem to include their kids in making family plans and just take it as read that Danny and Jazz will be totally on-board and satisfied with whatever they decide.

At times it’s like they borderline forget their kids but then believe they should/ act like they have a really close relationship with them when they do pay attention.  (They actually do this with Vlad as well - Jack treating him with the same overly-close college-roommate familiarity despite years of silence).  It’s almost a failure of object permanence; they disappear off into their own minds and come back expecting the other person to be exactly the same as when they left - like a reverse-weeping-angel who freezes whenever they’re not being looked at.  And when they do notice something is amiss (or someone gets upset with them) they often default to wondering what is wrong with the other person rather than considering whether they might have done something. 

None of this is to say that Maddie and Jack are malicious, or to suggest that they don’t like or care about their kids.  It’s more like they’re trapped in their own little bubble of being The Heroic Doctors Maddie and Jack Fenton, Genius Ghost-Hunters Extraordinaire and it completely walls them off from the reality of other people’s needs and feelings.  They simply don't consider other people in their decision-making and unfortunately their kids are part of the other people.  They do love Danny and Jazz.  They love them so much… when they remember that they exist.

And it’s worth noting that the behaviours and feelings we see from Danny and Jazz align pretty well to how dealing with egocentricity can affect people:

Low self-worth: feeling irrelevant, as if your opinions don't matter Self-doubt: questioning your own judgment or perception Confusion: wondering if the person recognizes their egocentric ways Sadness: feeling sorry for the person or sad for yourself after interacting with them Anger: frustration and anger over not feeling seen or heard Resentment: becoming bitter toward them for the ways they behave and how you feel after interactions Detachment: a desire to move away from the person as much as you can in order to protect your sense of self. -Verywell Mind

What to do?

I want to reprise the same idea I expressed in the Vlad post:  Maddie and Jack are not Danny and Jazz’s responsibility.  Functional relationships require participation from both parties.  And when it comes to relationships between children and adult parents/ mentors it is not the job of the child to assume primary responsibility for managing the relationship, their parents’ feelings or their parents’ lives.

As it stands, this relationship is not functional or healthy.  Something’s got to give.

Which is painful and complicated because they all do love each other. 

It’s that idea of and again:

You can love someone, you can want their affection, their approval, a positive relationship AND you can be in a position where continuing to stay and try for that will end up doing more harm than good.

I see things going one of two ways:

1. The relationship gives

The kids end up leaving - either cutting contact or at least pulling away. 

There are a bunch of things that could lead to this.  Maybe their parents don’t accept Danny when the truth comes out, and they have to flee.  Maybe Jazz moves out and offers for Danny to come and stay with her.  Maybe they just grow up, move away to have their own lives and rarely come home.

The best outcome here would be Danny and Jazz being able to reach a place where they feel safe (emotionally and physically), unconditionally loved and can start healing into a sense of confidence/comfortableness with themselves: whether that’s just with each other or as part of some kind of larger community/ found family group.

2. Maddie and Jack's behaviour gives

Here something would need to happen to shake Maddie and Jack out of their egocentrism, make them realise how much their ectophobic obsession has been hurting their kids and their relationship with them, and that they need to make a committed effort to change their behaviour if they want a hope of salvaging things.  The thing with love is that it’s not just about feelings: it’s about actions.

Considering how resistant and generally obtuse Maddie and Jack can be towards accepting things they don’t want to realise, this could require a quite drastic inciting incident (Danny being hurt, the kids deciding to leave), although it could also be a slow build of subtle things that eventually breaks the dam.

And I do want to stress that ‘change in behaviour’ bit. This kind of quasi-redemption-arc really needs to be about recognising why the behaviour was harmful and realising they want to be better.  If it’s primarily about absolving themselves of feeling bad or undoing undesirable consequences then it’s still egocentric; in which case there’s no guarantee that they wouldn’t backslide down the line, or slide into a near-identical behaviour that’s just superficially different enough to avoid the same criticism.  The main goal and reward of a redemption path is the character(s) on the path growing into better people.

As for actually reconciling, it would be up to Danny and Jazz to decide when and if they want to accept any prospective olive branches.  Forgiveness is admirable, but not owed.

Like I said, it’s messy and complicated.

Someone can love you and hurt you.

Someone can try their best and it can still not be anywhere near enough.

You can love someone and they can have hurt you in ways that might not be forgivable.

And, as parents, Maddie and Jack Fenton are - quite by accident - some of the most emotionally complex, realistically flawed and believably human characters in Danny Phantom’s canon.

[yanderecandystore]

Could you please do a fanfic for a male version of Yandere! Lady Dimitrescu (from Resident Evil Village game) with the reader.

I really like the Resident Evil franchise but I'm too lazy to know what the hell is happening in the older games XD I'm so sorry about that-

I loved watching playthroughs of Resident Evil Village (can't buy the game ;-;), but I felt like it was a bit empty, idk- I felt like the lords weren't really explored enough.

Also the Duke is the best husbando in the whole game- Fight me! >:3

TW/Tags: GN = Gender Neutral, I normally forget to properly name it when it's gender neutral, most of the time I just say "reader" // maybe ooc // lazy genderbent, I'm terrible with names // size difference // servant reader // mentions of gore/cuts/bruises/blood and deaths (and torture- I'm so sorry-) // reader gets hurt // mentions of vomiting

It's Dinner Already [Yandere!M!Dimitrescu x GN!Reader - Short Fanfiction]

It's dinner time already, unfortunately for you, of course.

It feels almost like a routine at this point- Which in a way, it is! You always take care of your tasks during the day, while dreading the inevitable time for dinner to arrive again.

Everyday, at this exact same hour, you and the other servants would prepare a meal for Lord Dimitrescu and his lovely… Sons…

As someone who has started "working" for their family only a month ago, you can positively say: Starving in the cold woods next to your village would have probably been a more merciful death than the ones you have witnessed at this place. You weren't as accustomed to such brutal executions at your village, actually you hardly even witnessed so much death, at least not so up close.

When you came here, you didn't expect to be instantly comforted and treated with respect- You were a commoner looking for an possibility to thrive in a noble's house, you were basically an easy target for any entitled selfish lord to easily belittle you and make you work for them until your hands would turn to dust. Yet nothing could have prepared you for such an odd situation.

Vampires. Monsters. Fiends if you were bold enough to insult them. You weren't exactly welcomed as much as you were snatched in and now forever trapped inside this castle. You can still hear their laughter… Their insane expressions of pure glee, the way they have bursted into maliciously laughing at your pain as you screamed for help trying to open up their door again and be free from that nightmare.

The chase didn't last even a second, they stabbed your legs with their scythes and brought you deeper inside this hellhole, as you cried your eyeballs out. The sons had brought you back inside so their father could take a look at the "intruder".

An absolute titan amongst the mortals. His height was only a sick reminder of how much power he had over the castle, over his sons, and now- Over you.

He may not have been as massive as he was threatening as you remind him to be, but at the time you were just in awe of his height considering you have never seen someone as tall and as mighty.

Then again- You have never seen vampires as well. Were they the same vampires as the books you've read as a kid? You weren't so sure of it…

You were hoping that if you begged for life and for forgiveness for having disturbed their peace, that they could spare you and let you go back to your village. Sadly enough, you commented on how you were only trying to look for a job as a servant.

You probably shouldn't have given them ideas, but it's too late to think about your mistakes now, however.

The sons begged to see your blood spilled, yet Lord Dimitrescu was merciful enough to grant you your "wish", as he said.

It has been a month ever since you were trapped inside and forced to work as a miserable little servant, and even if you didn't suffer the worst forms of punishments that they had in-store for you, you couldn't help but fantasize about just running away and never turning back.

You're so tired of this castle, of the smell of carnage, of the undeserved and over the top punishments, and especially of the people who would subjugate you to such things.

But at last, it's dinner time already, and you can't keep them waiting.

You feel your hands shaking as you walk out of the kitchen and into the dining room where the masters of the castle were so graciously waiting for you. You know what they're waiting for- But you can't let them distract you, for those that commit accidents are faced with fates worse than death.

Although you would rather do this process quickly, you can't afford mistakes to happen, so you take your time to set not only their meal in front of each one but to also pour "wine" into their glasses. You do all of this without looking directly into their eyes, only bowing down to each one and saying "excuse me"s in what they would call a "decent tone", as the smell of their disgusting beverage starts to irritate your nostrils. If you didn't know the main ingredient to Sanguis Virgins is, you probably wouldn't have this immense disgust over it, but right now just the thought of it makes you want to gag.

Only villains could so easily drink blood, and still make a living out of it.

Your internal thoughts of pure hatred against this whole situation almost completely blinded you to the fact that they were eerily, very quiet.

….

On most nights they would be talking with each other while occasionally making comments about you or your presence. Obviously they were all pretty nasty comments that they somehow expected you to back it up in some way or another, it's when they try to insert you into their conversation that makes you hate this occasion so badly, but it normally ends as quickly as it begins.

But as you are pouring wine to Lord's Dimitrescu, you notice that they haven't said a single thing while you were there. You stop what you're doing as you realize that they were silently observing you this whole time, and as you look into their expressions you come to think that maybe you have messed up-

Somehow, in some way or form, you may have messed up- And the fact this mistake could cost your head only agitates your already very worried mind.

….

A small moment of silence continues before the middle son, Cassandro, starts to chuckle in an almost innocent way- As if he was a kid who just said a bad word for the first time- And as he bursts into sudden laughter, Daniel leans towards Bello and loudly whispers:

"- I told you, they do this every time." To which Bello only replied with:

"- It's almost like hypnosis in a way."

The three sons were mesmerized by your ability to trap yourself in your own mind. They're probably aware that you do this as a defensive mechanism but they still find it comical in a weird way. You feel yourself get more tense as you look up at Lord Dimitrescu and see him staring back at you, with an unreadable expression across his face.

Before you could come up with an excuse to whatever you may have caused to disturb their dinner, the Lord himself spoke.

"- How inappropriate. As my sons, you three should know better than to laugh at our servant's airheaded mind-"

And as he said that, their smiles begin to disappear and be replaced with frowns and a bit of shame as they become stiff at their father's words.

"- And how inappropriate of you, too. To be so distracted in the presence of your masters, that's quite rude don't you think?"

But as he continued their bodies begin to relax once again as they realize he wasn't focusing on them- He was focusing on you.

Words have completely disappeared from your vocabulary as you start to think that maybe you won't be able to see another day after their meal is over. You try to mumble some possible responses before getting interrupted by him once again.

"- It's very rude, so very rude in fact that I think we deserve some answers. What were you so distracted about? What were you thinking that could have possibly taken over your small little head?"

Right now, he was sounding a bit condescending, thankfully not as angry as he would have been with the other servants right about now. Every little mistake was used as excuses for punishments- And if you were walking on thin ice before, right now you are one-step closer to breaking this entire lake and getting yourself killed by the freezing temperatures of the water below you.

Thanks to your luck (or maybe lack thereof, depending on how you see this) Daniel came to "your rescue" by coming up with an excuse for you.

"- Maybe they were hungry." He said without any indications of it being a joke or a lie- As the youngest yet craziest of the bunch, he always had that weird "naive yet dangerous" energy coming from him. He was naive enough to make that statement when it's very clear that you actually despise being near them, but he still was a son of Dimitrescu.

You know better than to underestimate any of these people.

The Lord didn't seem completely convinced as he side eyed Daniel who was blissfully eating his meal without acknowledging his dad's glance or his brother's looks of disapproval.

Without a warning you were pulled closer by your wrist and forced into sitting next to the Lord, who made a sign for another servant to bring you your food. This… Doesn't feel right at all, you're waiting for the worst to come yet you don't feel like you can ever prepare yourself enough for what they have in store.

"- M-My Lord- This isn't needed, I'm fine. I'll just continue my duties, if you can excuse me-" You plead, while trying to get up from your chair.

"- Oh but what host would I be if I didn't take better care of my guests? Poor thing, you must be starving if you can barely serve us wine-" And as his tone gets progressively more sarcastic and a bit louder, you can hear his sons snickering from the other side of the table, but you can't see them since you can't take your eyes away from him.

You're worried that if you look away for just one second, that you may not be able to see ever again.

"- It's so sad when one of our guests feels hungry- What's worse is when we are also very, very hungry."

"- Thirsty, even!"

"- Oh, I can feel my throat drying just at the thought of such misery!- Our dinner seems to be ruined."

You hear their whispers, you hear how they are clearly joking about this- How overly dramatic they're being over something so miniscule as you just- Ignoring them.

Let me remind you this is all because you refuse to look them in the eyes, that you refuse to give them any satisfaction for the heinous things they have done! You've seen so many people get hurt inside this castle only for their sick and twisted thirst and entertainment.

"- Indeed, my boys. My appetite is ruined, though dinner is not over yet-" Lord Dimitrescu spoke as he looked at his sons clearly enjoying your inevitable pain, but before he could continue he turns himself to you again, putting a hand on your arm and saying:

"- Wouldn't you agree?" Loud enough so that his sons could hear it, but soft enough to send the tiniest shivers down your spine.

"- …!"

"- No, no- Please, not again!-" He wouldn't dare do this, would he??

But before you could react he had already done it, you barely noticed how fast he had grabbed that knife to slice your wrist- His hand firmly gripping your arm as he made a deep enough cut so that your blood could be easier to access.

It somehow hurts just as badly as the first time his sons have stabbed your ankles and dragged you across the floor- At least you're not bumping into things like before, and even if it's a deep cut it's not as big as it could be if he used his claws to actually do this.

Oh, oh those claws- You almost thought he would use them on you… Those were something else. You can't remember exactly what happened, and why it happened, but you remember seeing him use those on another servant who may have crossed the line at some point.

Well "crossed the line"- More like "casually inconvenienced him". Lord Alcino may act like an incredibly high noble but he acts so childishly and in such an egotistical manner that you are surprised he can even have a castle like this in the first place! You don't remember what the servant has done to be so cruelly dismantled, but you don't doubt that it was for a stupid reason!

You miss that servant actually- Probably the only person who you actually talked with, and the first one to actually taught you how to do your job… You two could have been friends if he didn't intervene.

You briefly remember those moments before getting to experience the most weird sensation of all- Having your bloody cut be licked and sucked on. It hurts and it stings in a way that not only makes you want to cry but to also gag at the thought of you feeding this monster.

You refuse to look at him even in this scenario, you refuse to see him feeding off your blood… Sometimes you wish you were just as poisonous as some species of frogs, poisonous enough to make his mouth burn so he can experience a fraction of the pain he causes to others.

You tried fleeting away, you tried getting up and moving away but his grip on your arm only helped you in getting closer to him- You have your eyes closed as your only option is to cry and muffle your agony.

But as always, he is not satisfied with you just ignoring him. This was supposed to be a lesson, yet you're clearly avoiding your teacher as best as you can- But not today, little flower, you're not getting out of this so easily.

This is the first time he ever got to really taste your blood, as normally you would be behind the other servants while trying to learn how to please him, the only moments where he gets to see you is when it's dinner time, but oh- You're just so cruel!

Escaping inside your own little head while he has to content himself with just your image. Your presence is very much appreciated around this hour, little one-

He has noticed this before, of course, but it was only when he noticed his son's curiosity over the way you behave around them that made him organize this little trap. He didn't have everything planned actually, his plan only involved getting to this moment no matter what- And oh boy, has luck been on his side!

Your blood tastes better than expected of a commoner, your delicate and fearful whines of pain are just as delightful but what really gets him is this tough persona you try to convince everyone you have- You despise him, and it's clear to see why- But he knows his charms will probably work on you one way or the other.

He gripped your face trying to make sure you'll get to him in the eyes as he has a taste of you. Absolutely delicious, especially after you so gracefully "ruined" their dinner.

His sons were just watching as they continued to drink from their crimson glasses. They were just enjoying the show, as everything seems to easily amuse them- Their father was just showcasing how they were so much better than the common folk, and they have no other option but to take notes and to remember what they have to do if they ever feel ignored by the servants in the castle: Show who are the true masters of this place.

None of them were really interested in drinking from you, considering how all three seemed to recognize how their father has taken a liking towards you. No one would dare mess with their father's prey.

If you had enough strength in you, you would start vomiting as soon as this has started, but the more he takes from you the more you feel like you can barely stay conscious.

He wasn't supposed to take so much, at least not so soon- He wanted to just take a sip but he can't deny the fact he would rather drown himself in your blood than to let go.

He sighs, as he notices that you're slowly getting less and less aggressive, getting more and more tired as he drains you from this cut.

You're not unconscious yet, just barely stable enough to understand what's going on.

"- Sigh… Now that was a decent enough meal." He can't praise you for being tasty, can't have you being cocky around him.

"- Here, since I'm done here I'll take you to the servant's living quarters- And because I'm so kind I'll make sure that wound is safely secured and cleaned, so here- Come along now."

And as he stood up he offered you his hand so you could get up yourself, but you don't have enough energy to walk yourself to your room, thankfully you're already ready to go to bed and wish to never wake up again.

And as the nightmare never ends, he decides that if you are going to be difficult then you leave him no choice but to carry you there. How much has he taken from you?? Jesus, he should learn some self-control before doing this again- The absolute brute that he is.

Your vision may be a little screwed over because of the lack of red cells running through your body at the moment- But you have a weird feeling that you two aren't heading towards the servant's living quarters, as you feel like you two are quite literally going in the opposite direction.

Oh but it's fine- Right?

It'll be fine. Surely. After all, he already took what he wanted from you, and he doesn't seem to need more so- You probably won't have to worry about anything right now, dinner time is already over, you can finally relax now….

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

So I'm sick again- Sorry y'all, I just have a horrible immune system and I really don't understand what is wrong with me-

I'm sorry if you didn't like this boo :(

[thefanficmonster]

Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends. 

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well. 

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“ 

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“ 

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling. 

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in. 

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either. 

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. 

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams  @the-fuck-up-of-today  @slashersdream  @chiefwombathoagiepizza  @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Bound Blood (Cassandra Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 1

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for blood, language, brief nudity. Later chapters will be M Warnings: Nah fam Summary: Local vampire finds out she can't kill soft human (because they're soulmates, baby), human becomes insufferable bastard, oops they fuck later. Soulmate AU where if one person gets injured, their soulmate feels the same amount of pain and receives a scar in the relevant area.

1: Sharing Is (Not) Caring

It’s not that you had expected to survive this- being locked in the dungeon of Castle Dimitrescu, waiting for the day you’re picked to be someone’s meal. Oh no, you had given up on surviving long ago, it was just that… well, you had hoped that someone with a softer touch would do you in. But here you were, too exhausted to cry, hanging naked in front of none other than Cassandra Dimitrescu. Her eyes were trailing you up and down, examining every inch of your skin, every flaw, every unique trait. It was like she was making a mental map of which parts of you would taste best. Goddamn, you wanted to spit in her face, or scream, or say something, anything that might make her feel even an ounce of what you had felt for weeks.

But you know that she’s already planning to kill you, and to make it painful. Why give her any more reason? Why dare her to find a worse way to end your life? There was no good answer, so you stayed still, just watched her move. Maybe if you looked bored enough she’d make it quick, just stab a knife in you and drink you up like a capri sun. Or, maybe, if you kept a straight face, she would admire your courage. Oh, how you longed for people to think of you kindly now, in your last moments, when dying clean and pretty was no longer an option.

Pulling a blade from some hidden sheathe, Cassandra approaches you with a wicked grin. There’s still blood on her lips from her last victim. Had they not sated her? Or had she been like this for some time? When she inevitably drank from you, how long would your blood remain on her lips? You weren’t sure that you wanted to know. In your mind, you picture her cleaning up as soon as she was done with you. It does not make you feel any better. Neither does the way she traces a finger across your chest, left to right, practicing for the incision to follow. She pauses to lick her lips, making direct eye contact as she does.

What happens next passes by so quickly that you don’t process any of it until the whole ordeal is over. The blade’s tip digs into your chest, just below your collarbone, before dragging along half the width of your torso. It hurts like hell, but you manage to keep your misery to yourself. But your pain is soon replaced with confusion; Cassandra screams, loud enough to echo throughout the basement, doubling over herself. In an instant her knife has clattered to the floor, forgotten. Instinct takes over your brain, the default programing kicking in, and you say something that fills you with instant regret.

“Are you okay?” Your voice is a bit quiet, and raw, worn out from lack of hydration. But it is enough, evidently, for Cassandra to hear. She’s rising back up and glaring at you, one hand clutching her chest. Something in her expression tells you that she thinks you’re mocking her. While that wasn’t technically the case, there was a part of you that found joy in this, watching your captor get a taste of their own medicine. The question left in your mind was why she was in pain. “I’ll take that as a no,” you said, again left with regret at your choices.

Now her hand is swiping at your face, nails cutting you open. Once more she hisses in pain, now clutching her head, shaking a little as she does. When she meets your gaze, you see that she’s more confused than anything. More than that, you see the marks on her face, knowing instantly that they match your own. Oh hell no, you thought, grimacing.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Cassandra growled through clenched teeth. Bouncing back and forth on her heels, she seems tense, unsure of how to process what’s happening. You feel the same way, desperately wanting to pretend that this doesn’t mean you’re her soulmate. Maybe the universe had just messed up, crossing some wires, or decided to pull a prank on the two of you. Either way it was better than the alternative. Eager to think about something else, you start considering your options. The first that comes to mind is ridiculous. Stupid, really. But would it amuse you? Absolutely.

“Not gonna lie, I feel better about the idea of you killing me now. Feel free to make it painful, darlin’, I won’t mind,” you snarked, lips curling up into a smirk. Oh boy was it satisfying to watch Cassandra’s response. One of her hands raises to smack you, only for her to freeze before releasing a torrent of swears. Hurting you meant hurting herself. “What’s the matter? Can’t handle a little aching? Haven’t you ever imagined what it’s like to be on the other side of things? Under the blade yourself, blood soaking your skin, eyes too dry for even a single tear? Poor thing,” you purred, tone as teasing as it could get. Apparently it’s aggravating enough for Cassandra to fight through the pain, as she slams her fist into your stomach, leaving both of you gasping for breath. “This is fun-” you pause to cough out a few drops of blood- “really, really fun. Hey, if you kill me, how bad do you think you’ll feel?”

Before Cassandra can react, either to speak or hurt you worse, the sound of approaching footsteps draws her attention. From where you hang you can’t see much, too many cells and hanging bodies blocking your vision. But your “soulmate” seemed to know who was coming. Her face scrunches up a little, and she adjusts her robes, trying to cover the mark on her chest. Had you not still been coughing, you would have sarcastically asked her how she intended to hide her face.

“What the hell is going on, Cassandra?” An unfamiliar voice asked. The footsteps grew louder, and faster, until the new figure stood in the same cell as you. Not even bothering to spare you a glance, she approaches Cassandra, reaching to examine her face. “Did a prisoner manage to get you? I’ve told you a thousand times-”

“Don’t fucking touch me, sis,” Cassandra snapped, pushing away her sister’s hand. Both of them are visibly tense, and for a moment they stand still, staring each other down. Then the sister (who you assume to be Bela, from things you’ve overheard recently) shifts her focus to you. Something tells you that she has no intentions of being gentle.

“Did you do this, you rotten little thing?” Bela questioned, glaring at you hard enough to send a shiver down your spine. But that doesn’t stop you from trying to have some more fun.

“Oh, of course I did! I rattled my chains real good, scared the shit out of her, made her fall on her own knife a few times. You know, like that one musical?” You must look insane as you speak, grin wide but face dripping with blood. If it unnerves Bela, she hides it well, though you doubt it does. As soon as you’re done poking fun she’s pulling out her sickle. Still grinning, you make eye contact with Cassandra, who realizes what’s happening a second too late. Then the two of you cry out in unison, as the blade carves into your shoulder. Instantly Bela pulls back, stunned, turning to her sister with genuine concern. “I might have lied. Rest assured though, it was for comedic purposes.”

The next thing you know the two sisters are shuffling away from you, Cassandra begrudgingly being dragged along by Bela. Though the younger of the two had been adamant about not receiving help, she now had little choice in the matter, skin searing from your blood bond. Even you are starting to breathe harder than you’d like.

“Was it something I said?” You barked, barely able to manage a fit of giggles between your coughing. Bela shoots you a glare over her shoulder, but quickly returns her attention to her sister. They talk, quickly, soft enough that you can only make out a few words here and there. It’s hard to make meaning from it, especially considering their vastly different tones. Cassandra is pure anger, gestures fast and wide, while Bela is oddly solemn, even regretful. When you finally catch a couple full sentences, things start to make a little more sense, though you wish they didn’t.

“We can kill them painlessly, in their sleep. That way you won’t have to suffer,” Bela whispered. She’s doing her best to comfort her sister, despite the tension in the room, gently patting her on the back. Briefly, you make eye contact with her. In that moment she looks equal parts executor and unwilling jury. But she looks away quickly, even shifting her angle to prevent it from happening again.

“No, fuck that, fuck this, I’m… I’m not killing them. Nobody is,” Cassandra growled, daring to emphasize her point by pushing Bela away. Now it’s her turn to look at you, brows furrowed, eyes betraying something more than just anger. Somehow it’s a million times worse than when she first came in. You strain yourself trying to look away, cursing the chains keeping you in place, resorting to closing your eyes and pretending none of this was real. “I don’t care what you think, Bela. They’re already my ‘meal’, might as well get what enjoyment out of this that I can.”

Again, footsteps echo through the basement. Tension locks your muscles in place, and your eyes are still clamped shut, to the point that you don’t realize your chains are being undone until you’ve hit the ground. Cursing under your breath, you finally open your eyes again. There’s blood on the floor, only some of it yours, and you’re suddenly aching for a bath. More than that, though, you’re praying for something to cover yourself with. Certainly Cassandra didn’t need to see everything, now that you weren’t a piece of meat for her to enjoy? As if reading your mind, the middle Dimitrescu daughter flings open a nearby cabinet, messily searching for something. Eventually she gives a hum of approval, then tosses a blanket in your direction.

“Put it on, dipshit, then follow me,” she snapped, already walking away. For a moment you’re tempted to stay there, sitting still, waiting to see how long it would take for her to notice. But one look from Bela sends the thought back to whatever crevice of your mind it crawled out of. So you’re moving, hastily, awkwardly wrapped in a somewhat itchy blanket. Other prisoners eye you as you pass, some shouting curses or even spitting at you. At first Cassandra takes no notice, or simply doesn’t care, but eventually the noise seems to irritate her. Turning back, she takes her sickle in hand and slams the handle into the bars of a cell. It’s loud, making you flinch, but gets everyone’s attention. “Next one to make a peep gets the blood eagle!”

“Is that, like, a sex thing?” The words leave your mouth before you can stop yourself. Laughter rings out around you from the few prisoners capable of it. Cassandra is seething again, looking about ready to kill you. Then she’s shifting into swarm mode, spreading out wide, insects barreling through half the occupied cells. A few cries escape the prisoners, as the flies take bites out of them, cutting a perfect balance between pain and (a lack of) lethality. They’d be suffering for days to come, every movement making their wounds ache. “Not a sex thing, got it,” you muttered to yourself, just as Cassandra reforms in front of you. This time she grabs the blanket you’re wrapped in, using it to tug you forward, sending you towards the exit.

“Shut up for five minutes and I might let you put on actual clothes,” she growled, keeping one hand on your back to guide you. The offer is the closest thing to kindness you’ve seen from her, and you have half a mind to do what she says. Would you actually manage to keep quiet for that long? Well, you were certainly looking forward to finding out...

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 129: Pangea

cw: mentions homophobic slurs

It was their day off.

Their one day when they didn't have to work and their five year old was at the muggle nursery school. They often cleaned and did laundry on days like these, but they always made a point of spending some quality time together. Harry had realized shortly after they'd adopted Cassie that it really hurt their relationship not to have time they set aside for just the two of them.

Today they were headed to get some ice cream and talking about the slumber party they were going to be hosting in a few days and all of the arrangements that had to be made when Harry's mobile started to ring.

Draco watched curiously as Harry pulled it out of his pocket, "Hello?"

"Yes, hi, is this Mr. Potter Malfoy?" a woman asked.

He glanced at Draco and put the phone on speaker, "Yes, this is Harry."

"Hi," the woman said again, "This is Linda in the school office. We're going to need you to come pick Cassie up."

"What? Why?" Draco asked before Harry could reply. "Is everything alright?"

"Sorry, I have you on speaker so my husband could hear you."

The woman chuckled and Draco looked ready to reach through the screen and strangle her. "Everything's fine. She just had a little disagreement with one of the other students and is pretty upset. The head mistress will have a chat with you when you get here."

"The head mistress!" Draco hissed.

Harry laid a hand on Draco's shoulder. "Thanks for calling us. We'll be right in." He hung up and braced himself for the inevitable.

(Read more below the cut)

"What happened?" Draco asked immediately.

He rolled his eyes and turned around to walk back to their house so they could drive to school, "You heard what I heard," he said. "I don't know any more than you."

"Yes but you went to Muggle primary school!" he protested, walking quicker. "You should have some idea-"

"I don't."

"Do you think it was accidental magic?" Draco asked.

He shook his head. "That was not the sound of a call about accidental magic."

"Then what do you think she was fight about?"

"Draco, there are a thousand things to fight about. Muggle children are just as unpredictable as wizarding children." He reached over and took Draco's hand, "She's only five, how much trouble could she be in?"

----------

When they arrived Cassie was over talking to a different adult and the headmistress waved them in.

She seemed happy enough so Harry let her be and followed the headmistress in, Draco all but vibrating with nervous energy behind him.

"Mr. and Mr. Potter-Malfoy, thank you for coming."

"Harry and Draco are fine," he said.

"What happened?" Draco asked quickly.

Harry glanced at him, "Sorry. We've just never been called in before. Is Cassie in trouble?"

"This afternoon, Cassie told a story to her classmates about how the continents got separated."

"Gaia," Draco nodded. "It's one of her favorites, she likes to hear about how life thrives no matter what."

Harry took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Right," Headmistress Blake replied, "and that's great. Storytelling improves communication skills and it's great for students to share like that."

"So why are we here?" Draco asked.

"Jacob told her that Gaia wasn't real, that the whole story was made up, and tried to tell her about Pangea."

"Pangea?" Harry asked incredulously. "How old is this kid?"

She chuckled, "His parents are geologists."

"Still!" Harry said, "That's pretty advanced for a five year old." Draco looked completely befuddled as though he had no idea what they were talking about. "But I still don't understand why we're here."

"I'm getting to it," she said. "She tried to tell him that it was just a story that her father told her."

Draco nodded, "Should we not tell her stories like that?" he asked, sounding panicked.

"Not at all," she said, giving him a warm smile in an obvious attempt to diffuse his anxiety. "But Jacob called you a liar and used a bit of derogatory language."

Harry's entire body froze, "Excuse me?" He'd been hoping that she'd be in Hogwarts by the time other kids were old enough to understand the implications of having two dads. It wasn't a big deal in the wizarding world, but it mattered in the muggle world still.

Headmistress Blake nodded, "She told him it wasn't nice to talk about people that way and insisted that Draco wasn't a liar. When Jacob doubled down on the slurs, she punched him."

"Good." Harry covered his mouth, "Sorry," he said quickly. "Sorry, it's just-"

"We have taught our daughter not to hit," Draco insisted, glaring at Harry. And while this was true, they had, it was only because Draco was already teaching her the words for jinxes that would be more effective. She was going to be a terror once she got her wand. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid that I don't understand what sorts of slurs you're referring to."

The headmistress rubbed her eyebrow uncomfortably, "He called you poofs and said that fags can't be trusted," she said and Draco's jaw dropped, his hand clenching Harry's so hard that Harry was afraid he'd need a healing spell cast when this was over. "Other students overheard and told Miss Murray after the fact."

"We taught her not to hit," he said, "But we've also taught her that it's important to stand up for what is right," Harry said. "It sounds like she tried to use her words first and then when that didn't work she used a different means available to her."

"But the next step should have been talking to her teacher, not punching another child."

Harry nodded, "I can understand why you'd-"

"Excuse me, Harry," his husband interrupted, "But I can't," Draco said bluntly. "And here's why; we are raising our daughter to be strong and independent because Salazar knows that women are not taken seriously in this world. Teaching her now that there is someone to help her when she is being verbally assaulted will not help her when she is grown."

"Mr. Potter-Malfoy, I understand what you're saying but-"

Draco shook his head, "With all due respect, there is no but. If her teacher didn't notice that another child was shouting bigoted slurs at her because she has two fathers then no one was coming to her rescue."

The headmistress squared her shoulders, "Cassie's being suspended for two weeks."

"What?" Draco spat.

"We cannot set a precedent that allows for violence to be the answer."

"And what is Jacob's punishment?" Draco demanded.

She blinked at him, "He's got a broken nose."

"Setting aside that his actions still deserve a punishment from a source of authority so he doesn't continue to grow into a bigoted prick, let's just say for the sake of argument," Draco said, voice sharp as nails, "that she'd gone over and told Miss Murray about what he'd said what would his punishment have been?"

"He would to apologize," she replied.

"What? Just said he was 'sorry'?" he asked incredulously. "That's it?"

She nodded, "Yes. He's only five."

He turned to look at Harry completely outraged, "This whole school can fuck off," Draco said, standing from his chair and pointing at Harry, "I told you this was a bad idea."

Harry winced, he had in fact said this was not a great plan, just not for this reason.

"We'll be taking our daughter home today and she will not be coming back," he said. "And we will be telling this story to anyone who will listen."

"Mr-" she started, looking taken aback, since Draco had always been the polite one of the two of them.

"Oh, don't even start with me," he growled. "I run a very successful design business and while I do not understand how most of the social media works, I have someone who I pay to do it and she and I have been friends for a long time. Get ready to lose any family that you have that has a conscience, you can become the place for all backwards bigots." He started toward the door and Harry stood up.

"We'll sue you for slander," she said.

He looked over at her, completely unimpressed, "It's only slander if it's not true."

"It'll be your word against ours," she replied.

A pale eyebrow rose, "Yes it will. Lucky for me that I've recorded this entire lovely exchange," he said, twirling a pen that the Weasleys sold at the joke shop that did just that. "Feel free to contact our solicitor about anything else."

And with that he swanned out of the office.

Harry stared at her for a long moment, "Maybe you should consider educating your parents and students." Then he followed Draco out.

Draco was already squatting next to Cassie, murmuring softly to her, "yes, well done, my darling," he said pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"He was really mean, papa," she murmured.

His husband nodded, "I know, love."

"Hey, bean," Harry said, ruffling Cassie's curls and bending over to kiss her temple. "Let's get out of here, yeah? Do you have all of your things?"

She held up her unicorn backpack and nodded.

Harry helped her get her backpack on and then they set off, each of them holding one of her hands.

Cassie chattered away about the rest of her day, not even mentioning her run in with Jacob again.

-------------

After they put Cassie to bed they came back downstairs and Harry collapsed onto Draco on the sofa, resting his head in his lap.

"Pansy says that story is spreading like wildfire."

"Really?" Harry asked.

Draco nodded.

"S'kinda sexy," he said.

Draco laughed, "Sorry?"

He shrugged a shoulder, "You getting all livid and protective. It was sexy."

His husband's fingers combed through his fringe, "I'll always fight for you, for her, and for us," he promised.

"I know," he replied. "You're a good man Draco Potter Malfoy."

"It's only going to get harder," Draco said.

"Maybe, but we'll look for a more inclusive nursery school-"

Draco shook his head, "I mean when she heads to Hogwarts."

"I don't think so. People don't care about a man marrying another man," he said.

"But they care about the savior marrying a death eater and then disappearing for almost a decade and a half." He sighed, "I just wanted her to start somewhere where my sins wouldn't burden her and here we ar-"

"Hey," Harry said, sitting up and stopping the words coming out of his mouth. "You are not a burden to her and our marriage isn't a sin that could ever burden her-"

"I didn't mean to imply that you-"

"Listen to me," Harry interrupted. "Draco, you are a good dad," he said as he cupped his cheeks in his palms. "You are a good husband and you are a good person. We are both lucky to have you."

"Harry," he murmured, eyes downcast.

"You are," he promised. "I love you and Cassie loves you. and we are so blessed to have you."

"I love you too," he said, "But this isn't the last bully-"

"I know," Harry assured. "And we'll always be here for her, yeah?

Draco took a deep breath before nodding. "Yes. You're right."

"Ooh," Harry replied, crawling over him and straddling his hips. "I love it when I get to be right."

His husband rolled his eyes, "Just kiss me already."

And of course Harry obliged him.

Life wasn't always easy or perfect but they always had each other and Cassie always had two dads who would go to the end of the earth for her.

----------------------

Day 128: Snake | Day 130: Forfeit

[rose2jam]

Why It Was Practically Inevitable That Severus Snape Would Join A Cult, an essay by Rose Jam

So, let’s talk about Cults. Disclaimer: This is just information I’ve gathered over the years from my personal fascination with religious cults.  I’m in no way an expert or a psychologist or whatever.  This is just my personal understanding from the research I’ve done.

A cult is started when a wildly charismatic Leader feels like they have a purpose, a higher calling, or a mission to be fulfilled (or they could also just be an egomaniac). Maybe they really do feel like what makes them special comes directly from a higher power, be that God, or the Heir of Slytherin, but either way, this person has a pathological need to be worshiped, and they need followers in order to do that.  

So, how does one obtain Followers easily? By finding the misunderstood misfits of society, and promising them something.  The people who feel like no one else understands them, or their ideologies.  But this Leader?  This Leader GETS IT, MAN! The Leader understands them perfectly, vindicates them, and makes them promises along the way.  Like, if they stick with the Leader, then not only will they finally be understood, but they themselves will also be revered.  That they will rise above all of the others who have put them down for so long, and will come out on top as a superior being.  

Any of this sounding familiar?

Charles Manson preyed on young people in the middle of the hippie movement, mostly women, who were feeling lost, lonely, and in need of guidance, or in terms of the men he recruited, seeking power over others.  Not all of these people were poor or helpless; some of them came from middle class, or even rich homes and families.  Yes, some of them came from broken homes, but all of them felt “broken” themselves, in some way. So Manson used their desires to have a family to draw them in.  He then used LSD and other drugs to keep them under his control, and he created a manipulative environment where the members of his “family” felt they could never leave him, and if they didn’t follow his commands, something horrible would happen to them.  I’m not going to go into full detail on the Manson Family Murders, but if you’re personally interested, check out the Podcast “Cults” on Spotify.

So back to basics, this Leader draws in Followers with flowery promises of community, power, family, or whatever.  But once the Leader has that following, the terror will begin.  Cult Leaders are usually master manipulators, and have completely brainwashed their followers into believing the “us vs them” mentality, that the outside world is evil, that the outside world will only harm them, that the outside world would never understand what they’re doing on the inside.  And that the Leader is the only one who knows the truth, so they better stick with him.  Or maybe the Leader has gaslit his followers so completely, that they become dependent on him for everything, to the point where they don’t know how they would possibly function without the Leader.  Or, the Leader has created an environment that’s so hostile, that Followers are too afraid of what might happen to them if they tried to leave, or didn’t do what the Leader commanded.  Typically, it’s a combination of all of the above.  Destructive cults will either hurt others outside of their circle (The Manson Family, Sect of Nacozari), harm themselves (Heaven’s Gate, The Ant Hill Kids), or both (The People’s Temple, Aum Sinrikyo).  

Now that I’ve laid this foundation, I’m going to tell you why it was practically inevitable that Severus Snape would join a cult.

Snape’s childhood ultimately laid the foundation for the mental state he would be in when he decided to join the Death Eaters.  He grew up in an abusive household, where his father, the muggle, had his magical wife so thoroughly whipped, that she couldn’t (or chose not to) use magic to defend herself, or her son (1).  Eileen had obviously told Severus about magic, about Hogwarts, about what a wonderful place it was, and what a wonderful gift magic could be.  Severus also watched as Tobias beat the magic out of her.  (I know it’s debated whether Tobias actually physically abused his family, but he certainly verbally/mentally/emotionally abused them, so the term “beat” could be used figuratively as well).  I don’t think it’s unreasonable to believe that Severus developed an extreme hatred of muggles with “burn the witch” mentalities from a very young age because of this.

Enter Lily, perhaps the only other magical person in his life besides his mother up to this point. He sees her using magic out in the open, perhaps recklessly, for fun, and he sees an opportunity to make a friend (and, admittedly, to be smarter than someone about something for a while). He was so eager to tell her all about magic, because getting to learn magic, and go to Hogwarts, has possibly been the only thing keeping him going in his young life.  And now he’s made a friend, a real friend who doesn’t think he’s weird because he’s magical.  Unlike Petunia, yet another muggle who makes fun of him for being weird (2). And Lily actually seems to like him back.  For a kid who probably hasn’t received a lot of affection in his life, this is monumental.  This friendship is everything.  Why wouldn’t he love her?

So the time finally comes to go to Hogwarts.  Severus gets to escape his abusive household, and finally has an opportunity to embrace magic for the first time in his life.  But almost immediately, he’s met with a hic-up.  Specifically, James Potter and Sirius Black.  So Severus is no longer facing abuse exclusively from muggles who think he’s weird, but now he’s also getting it from other magical people who think he’s weird (3).  And this started on the fucking TRAIN before he even GOT to Hogwarts. You can’t tell me that wouldn’t sour a kids dream right off the fucking bat.  And then, when he finally gets there, he’s separated from his only friend, by being sorted into different houses (4).  What a way for a life-long dream to be thoroughly dashed in less than 24 hours.

Let’s look at Snape’s Hogwarts experience.  He’s a good student, and he pours himself into learning as much magic as possible, and at being the best he can possibly be, probably motivated by a desire to be better than what his Father thinks possible.  During this time, he is regularly bullied and abused by the Marauders. Sometime before his 5th year, the Incident at the Shrieking Shack took place.  It definitely sucks to have been so thoroughly fucking duped, and put into a life-threatening situation involving a goddamn werewolf (5).  But perhaps even worse than that, the salt in the wound, was that no one fucking did anything about it (6).  He saw Sirius and James and Remus get out of that situation without facing any sort of proper punishment (as in, they all still stayed at the school as opposed to being expelled like they DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE BEEN (At least Sirius should have been)). Dumbledore was looking out for the Marauders, but no one was looking out for Severus.  On top of that, Severus isn’t allowed to TELL anyone about it, not even Lily.  So, he goes through what was possibly one of the most traumatic experiences of his life, and he can’t even tell anyone that it happened.

So, what sort of support system does Severus have during all this?  He has Lily, sure (who literally told him he should be GRATEFUL to James, one of his abusers).  But, what he really has, is Slytherin House (7). I’ll say it plainly: Severus was sorted into a house that was already full of existing cult members.  McGonagall says in Sorcerer’s Stone that “Your house will be like your family” (she at least says it in the movies, I’m too lazy to get up and reference my books rn lol).  So, Severus’ family, his support system, for 10 months out of every year, is a house that is already full to the brim with pureblood elitists with prejudiced ideals, who would absolutely vindicate Severus in his dislike for muggles.  As a kid first getting sorted into the house, it’s obviously not unreasonable to become friends with the people you’re literally living with.  His dorm mates became his family.  So, when his dorm mates started to become Death Eaters… This is headcanon, I fully admit, but like, fuck, Severus didn’t have a lot of friends, and was probably already drifting apart from Lily.  Do you really think he was going to tell the people he had to live with every single day, not to mention the only people that had been supporting him for years, to go fuck themselves for using Dark Magic?  Especially when he was probably feeling like he was on the verge of thinking that their rhetoric made some sense?

On to Snape’s Worst Memory (8).  At this point, he’s spent 5 years in Slytherin House, with fellow students who casually throw around the M word.  He gets attacked by James and Sirius, he’s practically defenseless, and then the girl who he’d considered his closest friend for so long… has to force herself not to smile when he’s thrown upside down and exposed to everyone on the grounds.  Sure, she was trying to defend him at first, but she also fucking nearly smiled at his humiliation, his pain, his abuse.  So he hurls the one word that he knows is going to cut the deepest, that will hopefully hurt her as badly as she has hurt him. And it works.

Severus had been beaten down his entire life.  By Muggles and Magic Folk alike.  And finally, he’s betrayed by Lily, his last lifeline to the light.  He betrayed her as well, of course.  But he did try to show remorse.  And she doesn’t forgive him (9), which was her prerogative, of course.  

So.  Who does he have left?

I’ve placed little (numbers) throughout my writing here.  Each of those numbers denote the specific events that led Severus to becoming an angry young man, who hates muggles, hates (some) magic folk, and resulted in him feeling weak, helpless, and desperate.  For what?  For power, for a family, for a community.  For a world where he is no longer the weird one.  For a world where he’s respected, strong.  For the world he thought he was going to be a part of, when he arrived at Hogwarts in his first year.

And it just so happens that this is the exact world that Voldemort is (allegedly) trying to create.

Severus Snape was angry, and vulnerable, and as such, he was practically the poster child for the type of person who would be susceptible to falling for a cult.  Maybe he was recruited by his friends in Slytherin House.  Maybe he was recruited directly.  Either way, charismatic Tom Riddle came along, understood how he felt, where he was coming from, told him he deserved better, and offered him all of the things he never had in his life.  And being at rock bottom, being the lowest of the low, to Severus it must have seemed like a miracle of an opportunity, or perhaps, like the only chance he had left.

Now, let me be extremely clear; everything I’ve written is not trying to EXCUSE Severus Snape for his actions.  There is always a point where personal responsibility must come into play.  Except for children born into cults or victims of kidnapping, nearly every person who has ever joined a cult has made the personal decision to join it. I’m just trying to express how unbelievably easy it is, for a Cult Leader to find people with damaged lives and low self-worth, to suck them in with promises of a fulfilling life and grandeur, and for those people to be easily swept up and brainwashed into believing that what they are doing is right.  (Or that what they are doing is required, because the alternative is more horrifying.)  

The type of people who joined the Death Eaters are the same type of people who joined Heaven’s Gate, or The People’s Temple, or yes, The Manson Family.  Now, I’m just going to say, from my own personal point of view, I do not vilify anyone who’s ever joined a destructive cult.  On the contrary, I feel sorry for them.  Because most people who join a cult, don’t necessarily do it signing up for the… end result of what happened to them.  Some of them totally do, like Heaven’s Gate. Most of them knew that the end result was going to be the “evacuation of their earthly vessel”.  But the people who joined the Manson Family, for instance, did not initially join it KNOWING how it was going to end.  They were part of the family long before Manson even came up with Helter Skelter, and by the time the Tate-LaBianca Murders took place, they were already too far gone to go against it.

I highly recommend anyone who’s interested in a humanizing view of former cult members, to read the essay “Leslie Van Houten: A Friendship” by John Waters. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/leslie-van-houten-a-frien_b_246953

Or, at the very least, listen to this 7 minute NPR interview with John Waters about the essay https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=111585116

It’s the story of how notorious film maker John Waters, became friends with former Manson Girl, Leslie Van Houten, and about how she broke away from the cult after her conviction, how she’s spent the last 51 years of her life recovering from the psychotic influence of a maniac who’d promised her the world, and how even though she was convicted to life WITH a possibility of parole, it’s never been granted to her, despite the fact that she has done literally everything possible to try and atone for her crimes.

Maybe I’m just a bleeding heart.  I’m pretty much the only person I know who feels sorry for Leslie Van Houten and other cult members who were brainwashed, abused, and manipulated into doing a lot of the horrible things they’ve done.  But there are people in the world, who have committed FAR more heinous crimes than the Manson Family murders, and who are far less repentant than Leslie, but because those crimes weren’t as notorious, they get to walk free.

Addendum: When I first posted this, I had a few people point out to me that they had always associated Voldemort and the Death Eaters with Hitler and Nazi Germany.  This is a perfectly fair point, but one that I personally don’t jive with, and the reason is simply the numbers.   There were literally millions of people in the Nazi party during WW2.   Death Eaters don’t even reach triple digits, as far as I’m aware.  As I hinted at in this essay, I consider Voldemort and the Death Eaters to be MUCH closer to Charles Manson and the Manson Family.  The Manson Family 100% had Nazi ideology, of course. "Helter Skelter” was Charles Manson’s prediction that there was going to be a massive race war; one that the Whites were going to lose, and that he and his Pure White family would emerge from it in order to rule over the remaining Blacks.  Kinda... sounds like a Death Eater thing, huh?

Sorry.  Back to Snape.  There is a lot we don’t know about Severus’ actual time as a Death Eater. I think it can be reasonably assumed he’s never actually killed anyone before Dumbledore (In Prince’s Tale, Severus questions if his soul would be safe from killing Dumbledore, and Dumbledore implies that his soul would not be damaged by helping an old man avoid pain and humiliation.  This leads me to believe that Severus never committed any soul-damaging murders before this).  Beyond being a sneaky spy and delivering the prophecy to Voldemort, his time as a Death Eater is all up for conjecture.  

Severus does make one important deviation from the typical cult member mold, however.  In the end, he manages to break away from the cult.  The scales fall from his eyes.  In a figurative sense, the LSD has worn off.  What made him sober up, was the threat to his last lifeline to the light. The one good fucking thing he’d ever had in his miserable life.  He was brought back by genuine love.  Ya know, the ENTIRE MESSAGE OF THE HP SERIES. And not only did he leave the cult, but he then spent the rest of his life actively attempting to destroy it, and atone for the mistakes he’s made, in an effort to bring back the world he’d been excited for, as an 11-year-old kid, so full of hope.

[mrslilyrogers]

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Telepath! Reader (X-men reader)

Summary: It’s been five years since the snap. You and Steve are stuck at an impasse. You want a family, he doesn’t. He says he’s moved on but has he really? With your doubts growing, you consider risking his trust and use your powers on him to get your answers once and for all. 

Author’s note: I know I’ve been gone for so long, I’m sorry!! I loved these requests and decided to merge them together. Took a while to write, I haven’t had much inspiration. I’ll keep this short and hope you enjoy this!! Let me know what you think!  

Requests: hi!! first of all i adore your writing (esp. betrayal)!! id willingly chop two of my limbs in exchange of ur writing skills hahah!! can you maybe write a oneshot similar to take my breath away, and the reader and steve are dating, but they’re actually in steve’s dream(like in age of ultron) and she is sad that steve’s still hasn’t moved on from peggy?? and can you make it extra angsty?? sorry if this is too much hehe!! thanks btw :))

Hmmm maybe angst w/ Steve or Bucky where a misunderstanding/bad fight leads to the reader leaving the team?

“Damn it, Steve! Would you just listen? Where the hell are you even going?” your voice boomed around your small apartment as you breathed harshly, trying your best not to pull your hair out of frustration. 

At first, it had all been just petty disagreements, you and Steve letting off some steam after the snap happened. You had thought it was normal at the time, a coping mechanism that needed to be flushed out of your systems never expecting that it would last for as long as it has. Five freakin’ years. By now, you would’ve thought you’d realize how lucky you were to still be alive, to still be together while others couldn’t say the same. And yet...

“Geez, Y/N. I am! For the past 30 minutes! And I’m telling you now what I’ve told you from the start,  I am not ready! You gotta give me more time, doll.” He replied, his voice just a tad calmer than yours but you didn’t miss the tick in his jaw as he walked out of your shared room, shrugging into his jacket. You knew his anger was just brewing inside, ready to attack if you pushed just a little bit harder. After countless back-and-forths, this had become a routine between the two of you with Steve always taking the role of the aggrieved party, ending arguments with an exasperated sigh and a roll of his eyes before he walked away, deciding he had something better to do with his precious time than fight with you. While you, on the other hand, always found that more infuriating, making you impatient and mean, baiting and nagging him until you wouldn’t even recognize the shrill and whine to your own voice.

“And when would that even be? It’s been five years since the snap. When will—”

“Don’t you dare bring that up!” his voice rose, eyes glaring at you as he whirled around, his jaw clenched. “Don’t use that excuse on me, you know damned well I know it. Why do you think I chose to move on and be with you instead of helping Nat bring them all back, hmm?” He continued mockingly as if you were stupid enough not to understand. 

This was it, what all your petty arguments had narrowed down into;

Despite what he said, he still wasn’t ready to settle down. 

“But what the hell are we doing now, Steve? We’re not getting any younger! I want to have kids, a family, with you!” You knew you sounded pathetic, and desperate all at the same time but you couldn’t help but continue, the pretty picture already clouding your brain, 

“Can’t you see it? Having children of our own, their drawings hung up on the walls, the dog you’ve been wanting to have since forever running around the house, family barbecues...” your voice trailed off, a lump forming in your throat, your eyes glazing over with unshed tears. It was all within your grasp, so easily reachable if only Steve agreed with you. If only he wanted it too. Anger bubbled up to the surface while he bristled, looking annoyed. 

 “We can have all of that, you know. What are you even waiting for? Will you ever be ready? Because it really feels like you won’t and I’m the only one who actually wants this,” You were unrelenting, thinking of Tony Stark’s family, how they had gone off the grid and had their own little piece of heaven. Crossing your arms, you knew you wouldn’t achieve anything by becoming a nag but your patience was already wearing thin. 

“Jesus, Y/N! Why would you even say that? Of course I want a family with you! I’m just not ready for that yet! Just give me more time,”

Shaking your head, you let out a defeated sigh and looked away from him. You could hear him grabbing the keys from the counter, exhaling loudly before he went up to you and ran his hands down your arms soothingly, willing you to understand. When you didn’t budge, he just pleaded as he always had, 

“I love you, you know I love you. But I need to get to this meeting, those people need me, Y/N. Could we please just talk about this later?” He moved his head lower to meet your eyes and even in your state of anger, you knew you couldn’t say no to that. He took your begrudged nod as an assent, kissing your forehead before he turned to leave. What else were you going to say anyway? He was going to lead a therapy session for people who had lost their loved ones. Guilt ate at you for keeping him here when he so desperately wanted to save the world. People needed him too, not just you. They hung on his every word. They needed their Captain America, their symbol of hope. While, here you were, acting like a child because he wouldn’t let you have your way. 

Letting out another sigh, your gaze stuck to the floor, berating yourself at how selfish you’d become. You knew what you were getting into when you dated him. You had no illusions of being the center of his universe, it was always going to be the people. But still, it would’ve been nice to be put first for once. You hated the tandem feelings of jealousy and guilt that always crept up on you after your fights. You just wished he understood that while those people needed their hero, you needed your Steve too. But as time passed, it seemed like the man and the hero were indistinguishable and you’d been deluding yourself into thinking it could be different. You’d just have to accept that too because living without him wouldn’t even be an option. 

He paused by the door, catching sight of your slumped shoulders. “Hey,” he said softly, striding back to you. 

“You know I love you, right?” he stroked your cheeks and you couldn’t help the turn of your lips. Nodding slowly, you rolled your eyes at how easy you were for him. 

 “I know. I’m sorry,” 

Ducking down to give you a quick peck on the lips, he reassured you again, “We’ll talk about this later, I promise,” then he gave you one last kiss to your forehead before he disappeared. But what once would’ve eased your worries did nothing to quell your nerves now. Your heart believed everything was alright but your gut said otherwise. 

_______________

He looked down at the worn, brassy compass in his palm, his mind years away from where he was, unaware that you were standing by the door. You watched his shoulders relax into a defeated sigh, his eyes never leaving her picture. You couldn’t remember when he ever looked at you like that, all the love and longing etched on his face. He brought his other hand up to caress the picture gently, as if he actually imagined she was with him, a small, sad smile forming on his lips. You felt the air knock right out of you while you scrambled out of there feeling as if you’ve intruded on an intimate moment. You couldn’t help the tears falling from your eyes while you convinced yourself it was nothing. He had just lost his best friends, she was a symbol of his past. He just missed that right? 

You paced around the kitchen, your mind running back to the times you’ve caught him staring at Peggy’s picture. All those times you pretended you didn’t notice how frequently he had been doing it these past few years. His voice, an echo in your head, 

“I’m not ready, just give me more time doll, please,” 

Closing your eyes, you buried your face in your hands. Oh, it would be so easy, you thought. All you had to do was get into his mind and see for yourself. One little, fast trip into his thoughts and you’d get your answers. He’d be none the wiser, no one need ever know except you. And your dignity, and your pride and your principles. Ugh.

He trusted you, you promised never to use your powers on him and yet, that was all you could ever think about now. Did he think of her when he thought of the family he wanted? Was it her face he saw, walking down the aisle to him? 

For the first time in your life, you hated your upbringing at the Xavier Institute. You hated the values and principles they instilled in you, the very reason you were adamant not to use your powers on the unwilling and unsuspecting for your own personal gain even though you were going crazy, craving for your own peace of mind. Deep down you knew, promise to Steve or no, you couldn’t go through with it. 

You looked at the clock, thirty minutes to go before his meeting ended. Grabbing your coat from the rack, you impulsively decided to go to him, promising yourself you weren’t going to nag and argue with him but have a normal conversation like you used to. You haven’t had a date in a long while anyway. Maybe a little spark of romance was all you really needed. 

_____________

Your steps echoed on the linoleum floor, walking past the empty hall to follow the directions to the room where the meeting took place. Rubbing your palms together, you spotted the room. The fluorescent lights hanging above casting a lonely pallor to the already gray walls while the rain poured heavily outside. The gloom, an inevitable reminder of what the world has become. It seemed everywhere people went, there was always a reminder of what they’ve lost. Even on an otherwise unblemished sunny day, the vibrancy was not the same, people were scarce and it was quiet. Too quiet. Which was why you were so adamant to continue on living, in order to honor the lives of the people you’ve lost. 

You could hear their faint voices outside the room. Your heart going out to those poor people who still held onto the past while you thanked your lucky stars you still had Steve.You fished for your earphones in your purse trying not to eavesdrop but his clear and deep voice interrupted you. Leaning against the wall opposite the door, you listened, a smile tugging on your lips while he commended the other person. He was always so good with words, always knew the right things to say and that never failed to make you proud. His words of encouragement lifted your spirits, making you stand a little taller, hope blossoming in the pit of your stomach. He talked about moving on, about finding purpose again. 

“I went in the ice in ‘45 right after I met the love of my life,” 

Your whole body went cold, the smile on your lips faltering, your hands suddenly gripping the edge of your blouse while his disheartened voice continued to try to reassure everyone including himself,

“I woke up 70 years later, you gotta move on. You gotta move on,”  

With a hand to your lips, you ran, your rapid, staccato steps filling the hall barely even muffling the sobs you desperately tried to hide. 

___________

Steve didn’t bother coming home straightaway after the meeting.  He told himself it was because he needed to check up on Nat despite the fact that he could’ve easily just called, despite knowing you were all supposed to meet for dinner in a few days anyway. He took his time getting to the Avengers Compound, embracing the uncharacteristic quietness of the city, giving him the chance to be alone with his thoughts. If he were being honest with himself, he couldn’t shake off the guilt that settled at the pit of his stomach at the thought of Peggy. The love of his life. Apparently, anyway. He had no idea where that came from, never really thought of it until it slipped from his mouth. And did he really feel that way? Was she really the love of his life? 

The thought of you came unbidden from his mind, your warm smile waking him up in the morning, your laughter setting the world to rights whenever he was feeling especially out of place. You’ve been through so much together, what you both had was real and it was beyond anything he could’ve imagined when he woke up from the ice and he knew he should take it a step further. He loves you, he is fully committed to you. There was nothing holding him back and yet… and yet, he still thought of her. He couldn’t help but think that if he had only stayed where he really was supposed to be, Peggy would’ve been the mother to his children, she would’ve been his wife. She would’ve been his life’s true love. But the very thought of that put a sour taste to his mouth, the truth was he could never picture his life without you. As much as he still dreamt of the past, how could it be the same if you weren’t there?

At first he thought falling in love with you was a balm to soothe his lost soul until he eventually realized you had crept up on him slowly but in a span of a heartbeat, wormed your way into his heart so suddenly he couldn’t even pinpoint the exact moment he knew he loved you. It was plain and simple, he knew it as he knew the sun rose in the east, he loved you. It was so unlike the way he fell for Peggy where all it took was one look and he was already drunk in love. 

Was it possible then, to be in love with two women? 

________________________________________

You were already in bed when Steve got home, feigning tiredness from the day when your heart was really beating rapidly in your chest. How could you face him now knowing you were second best? You could hear him in the bathroom, oblivious to your inner turmoil. When he was done, he gave you a quick kiss goodnight and went to his side of the bed, his back to you. You turned to face the wide expanse of his shoulders and wondered where the hell do you go from here. Would you really be alright living in the shadow of his ex, one of the world’s most accomplished women, so extraordinary that Captain America couldn’t even move on from her? Could you really leave him if it came down to it? 

A tear escaped the corner of your eye and you laid on your back, the darkness of the ceiling reflecting the heaviness in your heart. You must’ve stared at it for hours, wondering just how far away you were from the man right at your side. He was with you physically but his heart? You always knew deep down, it belonged to someone else. If he had a choice to go back, would he leave you? With the way things were going, you knew he would. In an instant. There was always a part of him that he closed off from you and ever since the snap, it only worsened. The fights, the distance, it all made sense now. Heck, even tonight, he didn’t even bother to ask how you were doing and accepted your lame excuse to get to bed early. It was the weekend, you literally had nothing to do the whole day and yet, it never even occurred to him that something could be wrong. For once, you were sorely tempted to use your powers on him. Hearing his even breathing as he slept didn’t make it any easier. It would be over before he knew it, what would be the harm in that? 

As if on cue, he turned and faced you. His long lashes resting peacefully on his cheeks, his lips slightly parted, he looked like a man who didn’t carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looked younger, more like your Steve. The Steve you wished would let you in and give you the family you’ve always wanted. 

“Just a quick little trip, no one would ever know. What would be the harm in that?” the little voice in the back of your head taunted.

What would be the harm in that? 

With your resolve weakening, you jumped right into the abyss, entering the mind of the man of your dreams, hoping you were his too. 

______

The sun shone brightly through the open window, letting in the warm summer breeze while his favorite vinyl record played in the background. 

Kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It’s been a long long time 

The air was crisp and the smell of pancakes and cinnamon wafted from the doorway of the kitchen into the living room of the small, suburban house. The yellow walls were adorned with children’s drawings with a few marker drawings on the wallpaper here and there. The faint sound of giggling could just be heard from where you stood by the stairs. Your children, you thought to yourself, a smile creeping up your lips. This was it. This was what you’ve been picturing too, what you’ve told him countless times over and over again. He dreamed of it too. You turned your attention to the living room, your heart giving a little leap at the mess. It looked like someone had tried to tidy up but gave up on the last minute, some toys still scattered about. You noticed the pet bed by the couch, and you couldn’t help but be excited and hopeful, it was everything you thought of down to a T. You went towards the paper and crayons on the low table between the couch and the fireplace, inspecting one of the children’s current drawings there. It was of a family, their hands holding each other while they smiled in front of the house, a little dog at their father’s side. At the bottom, a scribbly handwriting of a preschooler wrote; Mom, Sarah, James, Dad and directly below the dog, Sam. You laughed aloud at that, clutching the drawing, hoping you could keep it for yourself and willing it into existence. 

“Come on, dance with me,” 

You heard Steve’s playful voice coming from the kitchen. A woman’s laughter rang out, you could just imagine yourself shaking your head at him in response, but something about the woman’s laugh caught you in your tracks. A little too shrill, a little too melodic. You inched closer to the open door, your heart dropping to your stomach. There they were, the picture perfect couple.  He twirled her around, her red dress hugging her curves so effortlessly, while she drew her head back and laughed. The dimples on her cheeks deepening, her curls staying in place even when Steve maneuvered her around. They looked so beautiful together, his golden locks and smitten smile never once leaving her face, he never looked so happy. 

Not even when he was with you.

That realization hit you like a train. You couldn’t even remember the last time he looked at you the way he looked at Peggy now.  When was the last time you danced? When was the last time you acted silly together? When was the last time you were both happy? That was what hurt the most. You couldn’t even remember. It felt like a weird sort of deja vu except now, it was an actual woman instead of a picture on a compass. You tried to gather your pride and step away but you couldn’t, you were rooted into place, a sadistic part of you welcomed the pain because you should’ve known. 

“I went in the ice in ‘45 right after I met the love of my life,” 

You should’ve known.

 But instead, you choose to play the fool.

There must’ve been a shift in the air that only they understood because Steve gathered her in his arms now, their eyes locking into each other, gentle and longing. 

You'll never know how many dreams

I dreamed about you

Or just how empty they all seemed without you

So kiss me once then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It's been a long, long time

He rocked her back and forth, bringing her hand up to his chest, turning into action what words fail to describe. She closed her eyes and laid her head on his heart, savoring their moment. He leaned his head on hers too, a satisfied smile on both their faces as they continued to sway to the music. You had never felt as small as you did now. You felt like a thief, intruding on their moment, stealing his dream away. And that’s exactly what you were doing. That’s exactly what you are. You felt so dirty, a desperate, pathetic fly on the wall he couldn’t get rid of. And worst of all, you destroyed his trust too.

As if on cue, the colors started to change, the song distorting and shifting and in this moment you knew, you had to leave. 

You have to leave. 

Part Two

[kenkamishiro]

Lost in Translation: Choujin X chapter 1

Fun fact, I was planning to do fan translations for Choujin X with a scan group until it could get a simulpub release, though I didn’t expect it to get one from the very first chapter lol. I’m happy though since it means everyone can read it right away and it doesn’t mess up my schedule.

So instead I’ll be making comparison notes between the EN and JP text to supplement the official translation. I’m not doing this because the official TL is bad (I actually think it’s pretty solid and I hope it will maintain this quality) but because it’s inevitable for something to be lost in translation, and it’s nice to have that additional context for theory crafting and whatnot.

If you want to read it on Twitter instead, the original thread is here, but this is the proofread and way more detailed version 😄

This translation isn’t wrong, but there’s an emphasis on それ (which is TLed as ‘it’) that connotes a stronger, “other, that thing” feeling that isn’t present here. The general idea behind this sentence is: That [becoming a Choujin] resembles more of a disease [than a transformation].

Ely talks like a tomboy, she uses rougher speech patterns and the pronoun オラ (ora), a derivative of the masculine 'ore'. But it's a bit old-fashioned (eg. すまなんだ) which makes sense considering her upbringing with her grandfather on a farm. Hence her country bumpkin speech pattern in English.

Not sure if I should use Ellie or Ely? Ellie makes more sense based on the kana, but Ishida explicitly called her Ely so I might stick with Ely for now... (also istg that blond guy with the huge chin is a reference, I've seen him somewhere)

Tokio, I know your teacher is annoying, but it's rude to call her that lol. This is basically the oppai equivalent of paisen (senpai backwards, it’s slangier). Similar thing actually happened with Ely describing her dream hubby as Goldilocks instead of blond; ‘kinpatsu’ (blond hair) was inverted to become ‘patsukin’, hence the translation as Goldilocks.

Kurohara Tokio (黒原トキオ) and Higashi Azuma (東アヅマ). Kurohara is a common surname, means 'black fields'. Tokio is in katakana, so it’s hard to say what kanji it could be. 'Toki' could be 時 (time) or 外喜 (outside + delight). The 'o' can be the common male name suffix 男 (boy).

But when I think of Tokio, I think of TK's song called 'tokio'. You can read the translated lyrics here. If these lyrics end up being relevant to Tokio's character development I will eat my shoe lol.

Higashi means 'east'. Azuma (which can also be romanized as Aduma, it’s a softer ‘zu’ sound which is why Tokio called Azuma ‘Aju’ earlier in the chapter before correcting himself) is an archaic form of ‘east’. So...this guy is literally East East. The Choujin X equivalent of Moon Moon 😂

Someone also informed me that Higashi Azuma is a station in Tokyo, though the kana are slightly different (アヅマ／あづま vs. あずま). They effectively sound the same though nowadays, if I have to be honest. It’s like comparing the difference between 애 and 에 in Korean.

Tbh this is minor, but worth mentioning just cause it changes the meaning a bit. Tokio is saying something more like, “Why are we even talking about this [the roly-polies] again?”

I think I heard people talking about how the official TL doesn’t match the original text, but personally I really like how this was translated! Sis is using the expression  「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」, which literally means “boiling the dirt under someone’s fingernails and drinking it”. By taking the dirt/grime under the fingernails of someone that you admire, and boiling it and drinking it like a tea, you can become more like them.

But because idioms don’t tend to directly translate well between languages, translators often have to adapt it so that the meaning still remains the same. In English the closest idiom we have to this is “rubbing off on someone.” The “holding hands” bit was added to replace the physical aspect of “taking the dirt from someone’s fingernails” and also contribute to Sis’s sassy and very informal way of speaking.

So Sis is saying in JP (ignoring her personal speech style for now):

You should take the dirt from under [Azuma's] fingernails and boil it so you can be more like him.

And now in ENG it becomes:

You guys should hold hands or something, then maybe he’ll rub off on you.

It now sounds natural in English, still carries the same meaning as the original text, and also suits the character’s speech pattern.

Moving on, in that same panel the literal TL of Tokio’s dialogue is, “Policeman Azuma got dispatched again today,” emphasizing Azuma’s heroic deeds along with his family connections to the police. Another thing I want to note is that this is the second time Azuma has been called 偉い (erai) so far - noble, and now great guy. I’ll just dump the general English definition of 偉い from Jisho here so you get the general idea:

Great; excellent; admirable; remarkable; distinguished; important; celebrated; famous; eminent

But you can tell from how people describe Azuma as 偉い that others look up to him, think he’s a great person and Mr. Perfect. Always being placed on a pedestal by others. (What are the odds this will affect his mentality after the Choujin serum?)

The meaning is still pretty much the same, but I’ll offer a slightly different perspective. Sis mentions that if she were Tokio, she’d burst from the [Azuma] complex. (Clearly Tokio and Azuma's relationship is gonna crack at some point)

Tokio mentions an idiom about hawks (taka) before recalling his childhood memory about vultures. Vultures are called 'hagewashi', but in the chapter it mentions they can also be called 'hagetaka' (buzzard/condor, literally bald hawk).

The kids call him names like "Hagetaka Tokio" and "Hageo". But Hagetaka Tokio only really works in JP cause Hagetaka kinda mimics his last name (Buzzard Tokio doesn't give the same vibe). Same with Hageo. Hage-o = Bald-o = Baldy.

I also think Buzzard was chosen over another name for a vulture like Condor because Buzzard can pass off as an insult.

I would have translated this as, “I wanted to be a lion too...” but this is just personal preference.

A continuation of the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression Sis used earlier. Without the adapted idiom the exchange goes something like this:

Tokio: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

Azuma: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

Tokio: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

Azuma: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

But since the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression was modified to make it sound natural in English, it means this conversation has to be modified too.

JP: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

EN: My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you. What do you think?

The “dirt from under your nails” part got adapted to “holding hands”, hence how the 1st line from Tokio becomes, “My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you.” “Can I have some?” makes no sense now in this context now, so it was changed to “What do you think?” as a question to Azuma to keep the similar conversation flow going.

JP: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

EN: Huh? What’re you talking about? No thanks.

Azuma’s next line is similar enough to the JP text except for the removal of “scary”. I think the reason it was most likely removed is because leaving it as it is could be constituted as homophobic (2 boys holding hands, absolutely nothing scary about it as bible thumpers would like people to believe).

JP: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

EN: She said to hold hands so you’ll rub off on me.

Tokio’s response to that is explaining what he meant by his proposal. In the original text he lays out the latter half of the idiom (he doesn’t even realize it’s an expression, poor boy), and in English he does something similar by going into why his sister said they should hold hands (so Azuma can rub off on Tokio).

JP: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

EN: C’mon. That’s not how things work.

Azuma’s then rebuts Tokio’s proposal as ridiculous. In the original text he drops a typical straight man response (don’t do *insert whatever ridiculous thing the idiot suggested*). But since Tokio’s proposal in English isn’t as preposterous, his rebuttal is toned down in response by telling him not to take it literally.

Ultimately, even though a lot of this dialogue was changed, I still think it was successful in maintaining the original’s intent. Tokio takes his sister’s sarcastic suggestion literally and brings it up to Azuma, who dismisses it as silly. It would be nice if we could keep the expression as it was in Japanese, but in instances like this where it’s played off of in multiple lines, that’s easier said than done.

軟体 isn’t an actual word, it’s made up of the kanji soft + body. So kinda like Elastigirl, but Flexi was chosen instead. It doesn’t sound 100% right, but I don’t think I could come up with anything better.

Replacing the しい in 楽しい with the C plus that elongated pronunciation makes Johnny sound even more like a stereotypical Yankee, which is why he sounds like that in English 😂

Random but I found it interesting how Azuma called Johnny a youkai (妖怪) instead of something like bakemono (化け物) or obake (お化け) since they’re shapeshifting monsters.

Tokio is worried that if he doesn't do something right now, he's going to lose his friendship with Azuma. The sentence is fine as it is though.

Azuma’s line can also be worded as, "No hard feelings, okay?"

Bestial = 獣化 (juuka) = beast+change = beast transformation

That’s it from me, if you have questions about the TL feel free to send an ask or reply to this post, I promise I’ll check my inbox more often this time 😂

[newvegascowboy]

i think deacon’s idle voice lines reveal a lot more about him as a person than anything he says during affinity conversations, and here’s why

get ready for a long meta post about deacon that nobody asked for, because we’re deep diving today.

okay. so Deacon’s a liar, everybody knows this. He tells you straight up that he does and WILL lie to you, and will praise you if you call him out, but i think his idle voice lines are more honest about himself than he would have you believe. 

Personal Life

i first noticed stuff he says in idle conversations when we were taking rad damage and he said, “Great. I didn’t need to have more children.” (0:58 for anyone interested) and “Guess there won’t be any little Deacons scurrying around in the future.” The above video doesn’t include it, but I have heard him say it in game. Unfortunately, I can’t go digging around in the game files to find it, so you might have to take that one at my word! 

I always take his affinity conversations with a grain of salt because, well, it’s Deacon, but given how angry and upset with a dismissive Sole Survivor he becomes, I’m willing to give him a little bit of leeway and believe that Barbara either was or is real, and she’s no longer in his life. Plus, given what he says about them “trying for kids”? It’s not unreasonable to think that he has or had children. If he ever did, they’re not in his life anymore either. 

(the reproductive ability of synths is debated. i couldn’t actually find any information on the fallout wiki, but there were a few forums discussing the topic where the general consensus seemed to be “no”, but if synths are 100% biologically human, then i don’t see why they technically couldn’t. it’s kind of a YMMV thing.) 

Plus, it’s pretty consistent that he gets freaked out when up in high places. (:44) here to listen to his voice lines about being up in the quarry, and here to listen to his dialogue during the Railroad aligned quest Red Glare. Safe to say this man is honestly afraid of heights. 

"Alright. You got me up here... let's go down. Now?"

At the top of Trinity Tower. 

The Railroad

Not going to spend a lot of time on this, since his voice lines about it are minimal, but it is of note. 

Game files and terminal entries hint at Desdemona believing that Deacon is “John D”, the sole survivor of an attack on the Railroad back in 2266. Post 2273, there is no more mention about “John D”. Admittedly, this is pretty weak evidence considering it’s in-game conjecture, but Deacon mentions knowing Desdemona as a green recruit, finding it hard to take her seriously at times.

Even if his claim about being the real leader of the Railroad is bullshit, he’s obviously one of the eldest members of the Railroad, confirmed membership going back at least 12 years to 2275. He could very well be the oldest surviving member of the Railroad. 

Hidden Depths

this one is pretty well known, so I’m not going to say too much on it either. 

the man knows a lot of stuff about the pre war world! Don’t know why! He never offers any reason for why he’s so familiar with the pre war world. It’s very clear that he either had a much, much more thorough education than most Wastelanders, or he was around people who did. University Point was a pretty major settlement until the Institute wiped it out, so I suppose it’s possible that he could’ve been schooled there, but I find it unlikely. He never makes any mention of his childhood other than an obvious joke where he says, “I grew up just over there. Lot of fond memories by that...thing.”  (this link is a compilation of voice lines, so it may take a moment to get there.) 

Obviously there’s the famous Proust line, indicating he’s pretty well read, though, oddly enough, he doesn’t have anything to say about Henry David Thoreau’s cabin! You’d think he would. In addition to Proust, he has the combat voice line, “Insert something Shakespearean about your death and inevitable doom here,” indicating he’s familiar with Shakespeare. 

He also mentions knowing and wanting a talk radio show. I mean, the Charles River Trio exists, but it’s a stretch to call that a talk radio show. He also mentions having read “a few textbooks” and asks if we were planning on an invasion of mathletes. This hints at nothing, but i do think it’s funny that he knows the word mathlete, but refers to pre-war objects as gizmos. 

Involvement in other games

It’s canon that Deacon has been to the Capital Wasteland, and based on his dialogue, may have been VERY involved in the goings on there. 

The events of Fallout 3 take place in 2277. The wiki tells us that sometime in 2275, Deacon was kicked out of the railroad by then-leader Pinky Thompson because Pinky was "sick of the lying, face-changing son of a bitch." So maybe unlikely, but very possible for Deacon to have been in the Capital Wasteland during the entirety of the events of Fallout 3. Though this pretty much kills the idea that Deacon was the Lone Wanderer, that’s a headcanon i love and probably one that I want to do something with in the future. 

He also seems to have quite a history with the Brotherhood of Steel and seems familiar with them and their actions in the Capital Wasteland, going to far as to say that they did good work in the Capital. Not only that, but he mentions “Code Violet”, part of Harkness’ override code from Fallout 3. It’s possible that Deacon could’ve been a runner for escaped synths heading for the Capital Wasteland sometime around 2277, which could be why he’s so knowledgeable about Capital-era Brotherhood and President Eden. 

Deacon talks about winning something from Robert House in a poker game while chatting with Deezer in Covenant. (1:26) Also interesting to note - he mentions “Being a soldier in the west” (17:43) at one point, hinting to possible involvement with the NCR (or possibly with the Western chapter of the Brotherhood). 

of course it’s possible that Deacon is bullshitting. He’s a liar. even if he doesn’t have a “reason” to lie, that doesn’t make every random word that comes out of his mouth the truth. simply - this man knows a lot. Knows things that, arguably, he shouldn’t or would be very hard for him to learn without some dedicated poking around. 

in conclusion? 

is there more? most definitely. what does this mean? well...not really anything. part of why i believe that his idle voice lines are more truthful than anything he says during his affinity conversations is because during those conversations, a lot of the time, he’s lying to try and prove a point. 

"But I had a point here. A lesson, if you will. There're other organizations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it."

I believe a lot of Deacon’s lies are meant for himself. To run from himself, to comfort himself, or simply because he doesn’t want to be affiliated with the man he was when he was younger. To me, his idle lines are him “thinking out loud”. Grumbling because the Sole Survivor dragged him into an irradiated hell hole, or freaked out because they’re standing on top of Trinity Tower and by god, he can feel the building swaying. 

Maybe his honesty is completely on accident. Maybe he’s just hinting at a personal life with a max affinity Sole Survivor because this person is his best friend and despite everything he’s ever tried to teach himself, he trusts this person. Or maybe it isn’t honesty at all, and he’s just bullshitting to bullshit. It’s impossible to know for sure. 

Either way, we’ll never truly know the real Deacon. 

[poisonedapples]

Patton’s Home For Traumatized Kids - Chapter Four

Self Care Day

Chapter Summary: Roman finally relaxes, and Virgil attempts to help.

First Chapter Previous Chapter Story Masterlist

Warnings: Anxiety, panic, mentions of past trauma and abuse, very minor self-injury (rubbing a little too hard with a loofah), food, and swearing

Chapter Word Count: 6,174

Taglist: @shade-romeo, @grayson-22, @pixelated-pineapple, @acrobaticcatfeline, @astrozei, @edupunkn00b, @princey-7258, @eternalmoonlight19, @remy-the-lemon-berry, @look-ma-im-on-tv, @mariniacipher, @bigwendymonster, @nonbinary-octopus

Notes: Thank you to Cornybird on Ao3 for betareading the chapter! You’re amazing and I appreciate you <3

It was one in the morning, and Roman was next to his bed pacing in circles so fast he was getting dizzy. It was officially the weekend and he was supposed to relax, but instead his mind was rushing a mile a minute and tormenting him. He was restless and exhausted, anxious and on the brink of tears, and Roman didn’t know what to do. He just wanted it to stop.

His head was spinning from all the pacing, so Roman sat on the foot of his bed and aggressively bounced his leg instead. He felt out of control, like danger was all around him and there was nothing to stop it. He felt like his heart was in his throat, sweat dripping down his face and making it hard to breathe. Roman gripped at his hair with both hands, physically recoiling at the feeling of grease and grime and-

…Oh. Wait. It made sense now. Roman hadn’t showered in a week.

He let out a deep breath, calming a little after finding a solution to his problem. He should’ve guessed, feeling dirty always made him anxious and stressed. He hadn’t had the energy to shower, but he was at a point where he had to force himself. If he didn’t, Roman would collapse from the stress.

He picked up his phone to look at the time again. 1:28 am, possibly the worst timing to sneak into the bathroom and try to shower without waking the house up. But he couldn’t wait any longer. He was exhausted and his brain was rushing through hundreds of thoughts. He needed some hot water to calm down.

Roman took the security bar off his door and slowly stepped into the hallway. He didn’t bother grabbing clothes to change into; his pajamas were clean and he could slip back into them after drying himself off well enough. He carefully turned the knob of the bathroom and snuck himself in.

It was very quiet in the house so early in the morning. Usually when Roman was in the bathroom, he could hear the TV downstairs or people talking outside the door, but now the only noise was the sound of his breathing and a slight buzz from the bathroom light. Roman stepped on the toilet to check for cameras inside of a vent high on the wall. Frustratingly, he found nothing. Patton’s camera-hiding ability was getting very annoying.

Regardless, he checked in the drawers and around the walls as well, flipping over shampoo bottles and toothbrushes just in case. He didn’t find anything, and Roman wanted to yell. Instead, he settled for clenching his fists and trying to move on with his task.

Fortunately, the shower had an opaque curtain that could make it harder for a camera to see, and Roman felt satisfied with that. Once he figured out how the shower worked and memorized where things were placed, Roman could also go back to showering in the dark again. He’d manage.

Roman wrapped himself in a towel in order to take his clothes off, folding them neatly on the toilet so that any water falling on the ground wouldn’t drench them. He skipped turning on the vent fan so he’d be quieter, stepping into the shower and tossing the towel outside the curtain on the floor for later. His legs clamped together subconsciously as he turned on the water.

Roman felt his shoulders relax a little when the hot water hit him. It helped the grease on his face and hair feel less gross, but the heat was also relaxing. He hugged himself and let the water fall down his face for a while.

…This is weird, Roman eventually thought, interrupting the rare silence in his head. He hadn’t felt this relaxed since he left the hospital. He thought after the trial that he’d be living on cloud nine for the rest of eternity, but the opposite was happening. His past and current situation was hitting him like a brick, filling him with constant anxiety and paranoia over the smallest things. It was getting unbearable.

Roman grabbed a shampoo bottle and squirted some out, slowly rubbing it into his hair and sighing. He was probably so on edge because he still hadn’t figured out Patton’s patterns. With his dad, Roman had lived with him for so long, he could guess his feelings by just a ten second conversation. He had detailed methods to work around him, how to sneak out of the house without getting noticed by cameras and how to delay the inevitable. But Roman didn’t know what Patton was thinking, what he even really wanted. Whatever it was certainly couldn’t be good, but at least if Roman knew, he could work around it. But here, there was no such luxury.

He stood back under the shower stream and felt the grease get cleaned out of his hair. Roman needed to change that uncertain feeling as soon as possible. He probably wasn’t going to sleep tonight anyway, so he could use this time to sneak around the house and at least find a hiding spot. At Roman’s old house, he had a little nook in a broken cabinet downstairs that his dad never opened, and he never found out where Roman’s hiding spot was. Patton didn’t have a basement, but maybe he had some place Roman could fit where Patton couldn't find him. It’d help him feel better if he found somewhere.

Roman ran his hands through his hair to check for extra suds and considered his hair clean now. Thank the heavens, there was nothing worse than feeling gross and exposed. Roman grabbed a bottle of body wash to clean the rest of himself next.

This was the tricky part. Roman had a habit of scrubbing too hard, and his aunt had a very long talk with him last time he came out of the shower redder than a lobster. He didn’t want Patton asking questions, so he had to watch himself. He couldn’t afford a spiral.

He poured some of the body wash on a loofah and tried to gently scrub. He didn’t realize how gross he felt, no wonder he was having panic attacks left and right. He was covered in grease and sweat and dirt that wasn’t even being rinsed, and Roman was getting more grossed out at the thought the more he realized. He really needed to start showering daily again, his hair was so thick and oily and teenager sweat stink smelled so bad, he couldn’t afford to miss a day-

…Shit, fuck, hang on, Roman thought, pulling away the loofah from his leg to observe the damage. He’d only realized what he was doing when he started to feel a stinging burn, looking away to see pink skin. Thankfully, he’d caught himself early enough where he’d be alright. He scooped some suds from the loofah onto his hand and gently rubbed the rest of the area so it wouldn’t be irritated, careful to focus on his movements from then on so it wouldn’t happen again.

He eventually finished without any further issues, rinsing off his body and turning off the shower. Roman dried most of himself as he stood in the shower, grabbing the towel off the floor and aggressively drying his hair with it. Usually he’d dry his hair with a hair dryer, but that would be too loud, so he settled with having a fluffy dog on his head for the night. Once he was dry enough, he grabbed his boxers and shirt to put on in the shower before stepping out to put back on his sweatpants. Despite the steam in the bathroom making it hard to breathe, Roman felt much better than before.

He turned off the light before he opened the bathroom door, stepping into the dark hallway wondering where to go. He still wasn’t tired, so he might as well look for that hiding spot. But where could he hide?

He slowly made his way downstairs, wincing every time a floorboard under him squeaked. The TV stand was an awful place since it was full of wires and CD cases, and behind the couch was far too obvious for a hiding spot. The entire kitchen was off limits since Patton spent most of his time there, he’d find Roman easily if he was hiding nearby. There was a small bathroom down here that barely fit a toilet and a sink, so maybe that could work?

Roman opened the bathroom door and looked inside, immediately becoming discouraged. There was no cabinet under the sink and everything was visible the moment you walked in, so that was a bust. He closed the door and looked around again.

The dining room off to the side of the kitchen was mostly bare, and hiding under the table wouldn’t work. Roman made a circle back to the stairs and looked around with his hands on his hips.

Suddenly, his eye was caught by a glass case display next to the stairs and it dawned on him. Underneath the stairs was a slight opening, but still too big to be a good hiding spot. But the display was pointed at a diagonal from the stairs, leaving a triangle opening that you couldn’t see by looking underneath the steps. Roman crawled under the stairs to see if he could fit in the hole.

It was a little cramped, but the cramped spots were always the best places. The only downside was that Roman was still visible from looking under the stairs, leaving his pants and shoes visible to anyone who could be looking for him. However, if he could get a box and paint it the same black color as the back of the glass display, he could rest on top of it and no one could see him. It could work!

Roman crawled out from the other end of the stairs and smiled. If he was quick and sneaky, he could hide under here and stay hidden for hours. Now he just needed a box he could paint black.

Roman opened the downstairs closet and looked inside, moving jackets and shoes around to look for what he needed. Nothing.

He walked into the kitchen to open the garage door and look inside, searching for any online shopping boxes Patton was planning to toss out. Nothing. Maybe he should sneak outside and check the recycling bin really quick-

“Roman?”

Roman froze like a deer in headlights at the sound of that voice. It was Patton, he didn’t need to look behind him to know that. To Patton, it must look like Roman was trying to sneak out through the garage door. He felt his breath stop.

“Roman, come back here. Right now.” Yeah, that was definitely what Patton thought was going on. His voice wasn’t angry, but it was firm and demanding, the voice a parent puts on when they refuse to be pushed around by you. If Roman didn’t think fast, he’d be fucked.

I can’t tell the truth, Roman thought. He can’t know I’m looking for hiding spots. But what can I do? Come on, Roman, make an idea! It’s the one thing you do so often!

…But there was that idea. An idea he used very rarely, but had yet to fail him.

Okay then, he decided, it’s go time. Lights, camera, action.

“Roman, I’m not joking. Come here.”

Roman deliberately ignored him, instead slowly closing the garage door and fumbling with the knob like he was stuck in a task. He kept his movements delayed and repetitive, just like people always told him he acted like in the stories.

Patton hesitated, like Roman’s reaction had confused him. “Roman, now.”

“Wait, wait, wait a minute.” Roman mumbled. “It’s gotta break.”

“…What’s gotta break?”

Roman opened the door and stood there looking out at the garage. He didn’t respond to Patton’s question, instead he stood there without moving. He heard Patton step closer.

“Roman?” He asked, his voice becoming softer as he realized what was happening. “Are you awake?”

“That’s a lot off.”

Roman could see Patton smile in the corner of his eye. His plan was a success. “I think you need to go to bed, kiddo. You can break things tomorrow.”

Patton took a hold of Roman’s hand, a grip that was so gentle it was less of a grip and more of Patton holding the tips of his fingers. Roman tensed his toes to prevent himself from jerking away from the touch, letting Patton lead him back up the stairs and to his bedroom. Patton went slowly so as to not lose Roman behind him, but he eventually led Roman back to bed while Roman kept up his sleepwalking ruse. It was a trick that always worked on his dad late at night, and it was good to know it worked on Patton too.

Patton brought Roman’s hand to touch the sheets on his own bed, and Roman reacted by slowly crawling back into bed and relaxing. He felt Patton cover him up with the blanket and tried not to squirm away from him.

“Goodnight, sleepy prince.” Patton whispered. Roman heard his footsteps head toward the door before his door slowly clicked closed, leaving Roman back in his room.

Roman waited until the coast was completely clear to jump back up and put the security bar under his door knob again. He was officially stuck in his room for the rest of the night, but at least he felt more in control now. Maybe he could try to sleep now.

Roman shoved his face in his pillow and tried to drift off, breathing deeply to keep his mind from spiraling again.

Yeah. After all he’d been through recently, tomorrow had to be a relaxation day.

***

“So…” Patton said to Roman with a smirk, handing him a plate with pancakes and blueberries during breakfast that morning. “Roman, I didn’t know you were a sleepwalker.”

Virgil and Logan both looked at Roman for his response. Roman feigned surprise. “…How’d you find out?”

“Last night I caught you walking around the house. I also heard the shower running for a while. Strange thing to wake up to!”

Crap, Roman thought, gonna have to remember that for next time. “Well, yes, I sleepwalk when I’m stressed. So, quite often.”

Patton’s smile seemed to drop a little. “Do you always try to sneak out of the house?”

“Sometimes. It’s not very often, though.” That’s what Roman always told adults. In reality, Roman had never heard a sleepwalking story of him trying to sneak out other than the times he was faking it after being caught. He didn’t even think Sleepwalking Roman had figured out how to take the security bar off the door yet, let alone try to walk into the street. But adults didn't need to know that. It was more convenient that way.

“Well, I might have to see about getting some sleepwalk-Roman-proof locks on the door, then. I don’t want you walking into oncoming traffic or something.”

Roman shrugged, taking a bite of his pancakes. “You can try. Can’t guarantee it’ll work, though.”

“Why do you sleepwalk?” Logan asked, leaning in closer to where Roman was sitting. “Do you know?”

“It ran in my family.”

Logan’s eyes lit up. “That’s quite interesting. I don’t know much about the science behind sleepwalking, but perhaps it’d be an interesting topic to research on. Brain functions during sleep can be quite bizarre.”

“You have fun with that, John Darling.” Roman finished the last bite from his pancake and stood up. “However, I have a nice date with the living room TV, so I’ll be busy.”

“…You consider that being busy?” Logan teased.

“Yes. Disney marathons are self care, and you can’t complain because I haven’t had the TV at all since I got here.”

“You do gotta share sometimes, Logan.” Patton mentioned.

Logan huffed. “Fine.”

Virgil stood up from the table to put his dishes away, placing his cup on top of his plate and balancing it. “He’s a little TV hog, some of us also wanna play games, dude.”

“All you have to do is ask!”

“And face confrontation? No way am I- fuck!”

Everyone jumped at Virgil’s sudden loud swear followed by the loud bang of a cup hitting the floor. Virgil’s balancing act showed to be a failure, with orange juice spilt all over the kitchen floor. Virgil stood deathly still and stared at the mess in horror, practically shaking with his knuckles turning white as he clenched at the plate in his hand. Roman cringed, subconsciously scooting as far back in his chair as possible and tensing. All the kids were silent. Virgil looked ready to cry.

“Oops!” Patton’s cheery voice is what broke the tense silence, crouching down at the mess and picking up the dropped cup. He looked it over. “Well, thankfully this cup isn’t glass, so it’s not broken! I’ll put it in the dishwasher and it’ll be okay, an easy fix. Could you get some paper towels and clean this up, kiddo?”

Virgil still seemed shaken, digging his nails into the metal plate and nodding. He slowly moved to grab the paper towels on the counter and drop them to the floor to dry the mess. Logan didn’t seem bothered anymore, but Roman felt himself prepare to book it upstairs in case things went south. But Patton didn’t scream or throw a fit, just put the cup in the dishwasher and stepped back to let Virgil do his thing.

Once Virgil wiped up the mess, he set his plate in the dishwasher and ran upstairs. Roman and Logan both watched helplessly, but Patton just smiled to himself. “I’ll check on him in a second. I think he just needs space now.”

Roman tensed at the idea of Patton checking on Virgil on his own, still not certain what he did to them behind closed doors. Roman put his own dishes away and ran upstairs to his bedroom. He closed the door and locked it like usual, but he didn’t put the security bar under the knob. Instead, he sat against the door and listened for the sound of Patton’s footsteps.

Eventually, the footsteps did come. Roman heard him knock on Virgil’s door and announce himself, asking if he could come in before the door opened. He heard the door softly close again, and that’s when Roman took his chance. He snuck out of his room and crept his way to the door to listen to what was going on. If Virgil was in pain, he could at least hear it.

“-Mad?” Virgil asked, his voice sounding higher and shaky. Roman clenched his fist in preparation.

“Of course not, kiddo,” He heard Patton say, “I’d never be mad at you. It was just a little cup, and everything’s okay.”

“…Sorry I swore, too.”

Patton laughed. “It’s okay. Sometimes it slips out, just don’t make it a habit.” There was a pause for a long moment. Roman felt something ride in his throat when he heard the bed creak a little. “Can I have a hug?”

Roman didn’t hear a verbal response, but Patton didn’t get angry afterwards, so he assumed that Virgil agreed. The bed creaked a little more, but it was silent. Way too silent, and that creaking was making Roman’s skin crawl. He didn’t trust it. He didn’t trust it at all.

Despite his better judgment, Roman swung the door open to catch him. He was breathing heavily and staring daggers, ready to throw a man twice his age across the room, but Roman froze when he processed the reality. Instead of whatever Roman was expecting to find, Patton had Virgil wrapped up in a tight hug as Virgil looked spooked from the sudden intrusion. Roman just stared, wishing more than anything now that he could reverse time. Oops, too soon.

“…Kiddo,” Patton eventually said in a confused tone, “You gotta knock before you enter.”

“…Yeah.” This didn’t make any sense. His dad had never gone this long being nice, so how hadn’t he caught Patton yet? What was he doing differently that made Roman not notice?

Patton rubbed Virgil’s back to help him ease up again. “How about you close the door and give us some privacy, then?”

“…No.” It was a trap. Roman was convinced it was a trap, and he refused to fall for it. He wouldn’t leave Virgil alone with him.

Patton seemed confused. “Why no?”

Roman was shaking. “Because.”

“Roman, I can only help if you tell me why you don’t wanna leave.” Patton’s face was still soft, rubbing Virgil’s back and letting him hide in the crook of Patton’s neck. If he was angry, he wasn’t showing it. “Can you tell me more than because?”

“Because.” Roman kept his voice sharp, remembering Patton’s ‘no yelling’ rule and trying not to push his boundaries more. But there was no way he was telling Patton his plans if he still hadn’t picked up on it.

Instead of exploding at Roman for being a brat, Patton seemed to focus intently and consider his options. Eventually, his eyes widened, and he smiled softly again at Roman. “What if you gave Virgil and I some space, but kept the door open? Would that be easier?”

Roman’s chest felt strange. Heavy, but like electricity was running through him around his heart. “Why do you want space so bad?”

“Because Virgil deserves privacy when he wants it, just like everybody does. Right?”

Roman looked at Virgil, who was peeking out from his hiding spot in Patton’s neck. He looked tired, but that wasn’t the only thing Roman noticed. He looked… Annoyed. Staring right at Roman with a death glare saying do you mind?, and Roman’s heart sank. Fuck.

Without saying a word, Roman ran off with the door still open and locked himself in the bathroom. He sat on the floor and put his head in his hands, still listening carefully for any concerning noises that might come from Virgil’s room, but he knew it was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous.

What the hell was wrong with him recently? He told himself last night he was going to spend today relaxing, instead he was freaking out and speeding up the process until Patton realized Roman knew what he was doing. Maybe that’s why Virgil seemed mad at him. He’s being an idiot and speeding up the inevitable for everyone, taking away the points of ignorant bliss between the horror. Roman should understand that. He was also guilty of wanting to pretend his dad loved him, and he was being a prick. He was going to get everyone in trouble if he kept this up.

Roman went limp on the floor, leaning his head against the door and sighing. He needed to leave them alone for a second and stop freaking out over everything. It seemed like Patton was in a good mood since Roman came along, it’d be bad news to ruin that. He wasn’t going to be the reason Virgil got hurt.

Roman shakily stood up off the bathroom floor and left, making his way downstairs to the TV. Logan still hadn’t turned it on, so he took this as his chance to claim it. He sat on the couch with his knees tucked close and pulled up a streaming service to look for some Disney movies, his eyes lighting up when he found one of his favorites as he switched the language to French and hit play.

He used to watch Beauty and the Beast all the time as a kid. It took place in France, so his mom would always say the movie should be played in French too, and Roman agreed. Now the English version sounded too weird for him to enjoy it the same.

Roman curled into himself as the intro played, the familiar prologue story of the beast’s curse that Roman could recite from memory by now. He slowly moved to rest his head on the couch’s armrest with his arms still wrapped around his own legs, keeping him tightly curled up. Maybe later he could make himself some tea, too.

Roman got through a good portion of the movie without interruptions, up to the point where Belle first came into the castle. Then, Virgil suddenly stood in front of the TV with his arms crossed.

Roman grabbed the remote to pause the movie, taking a moment to respond as his brain tried to remember English again. “What?”

“First off, why are you watching Disney in French?”

“I speak French, next question.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Come with me.”

Roman sat up and raised an eyebrow at Virgil. Virgil didn’t respond, just made his way up the stairs and expected Roman to follow. His curiosity got the better of him, so Roman did what he was told.

When he made his way up the stairs, Virgil was waiting in the doorframe of his bedroom. He motioned for Roman to follow him inside, so Roman did.

When Roman walked inside, Virgil moved to close the door behind them. “Don’t,” Roman warned.

Virgil gave him a look. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t close it. At least, not all the way.”

Virgil didn’t question further, just kept the door cracked open and wandered over to sit on his bed. Roman didn’t follow, just waited for Virgil to tell him what was happening.

“I wanted to talk to you.” Virgil said.

“I gathered.”

“Sleepwalker, huh?” Virgil teased. “That’s a load of shit.”

“I am a sleepwalker. It happens sometimes!”

“I was downstairs the same time you were, dude. You definitely weren’t fucking sleepwalking until Patton caught you.” Virgil smirked as Roman’s face dropped. “I’m impressed by the acting though, not gonna lie.”

Roman tried to think of a convincing lie, but he sighed and gave up, crossing his arms as he looked at the floor. “…Alright, it was an act. But I do sleepwalk. I just…wasn’t sleepwalking at that exact moment. But regardless, what were you doing awake? And why didn’t I see you?”

Virgil shrugged. “I’m a master at hiding. Every time you came around the corner, I just moved. I haven’t been caught by Patton in a long ass time.”

“Did you call me here just to boast then?”

“Nope.” Virgil popped the p, then smirked. “I called you here to teach you how to do the same.”

Roman seemed taken aback. “…Why?”

“You’re struggling a lot, I figured I might be able to put you out of your misery.”

“Wow, how kind.” Roman deadpanned. “I don’t need your help, for the record. I know I haven’t been in the system long, but this isn’t my first rodeo.”

Virgil sighed. “Look, I’m not good with emotional shit, we’ve been over this. But when Logan first came around, I had a lot of chances to help him out and I just didn’t, and it was a dick move that I regret now. I want to do different with you, so don’t think too deep into it and just accept it. Deal?”

“Um…alright?”

Virgil walked past Roman and opened his door all the way again, looking out into the hallway before speaking. “Alright, ready for lesson one?”

Roman thought about it. “…Answer something for me first.”

“Shoot.”

“Are you okay?”

Virgil made a face at him. “What do you mean?”

Roman could feel his chest aching. “You were alone with Patton.”

“Patton’s chill, dude. He hasn’t smacked me once in the two years I’ve been here, which I didn’t know was possible. He was just worried about me after my freak-out, but I’m good.”

“The bed was creaking.”

Virgil seemed confused. “Beds do that when you move on them. There might be a loose joint or something I gotta fix, though.”

Roman wasn’t convinced. “He didn’t do anything at all?”

“Patton’s never laid a hand on me.”

“…That’s not true.”

“Why would I lie about that?”

“So that I won’t be scared so much.”

Virgil sighed and rubbed his palms into his eyes. “Whatever, believe what you want, you’ll get there eventually. You want my help or not?”

“…Yes.”

Virgil stepped out of the room and gestured for Roman to follow him, just going to the hallway in front of Roman’s room. Once Roman moved to stand in Virgil’s doorway, Virgil motioned for him to stop. Roman stayed right where he was.

“Alright, lesson one, making it downstairs without being a loud ass.” Virgil pressed his foot on a specific part of the carpet where the floorboard squeaked underneath. “The upstairs has a lot of squeaky floorboards, no clue why. But there’s a way to dodge it. When leaving my bedroom, you take one step, skip a step, take two steps, turn left, skip a step, take one step, go right, then just don’t step on the first step of the staircase at all, the whole thing squeaks. You can try it if you want.”

Roman’s curiosity got the better of him, so he did what Virgil suggested, keeping his steps close together so his heel was touching his toe and followed Virgil’s pattern. He skipped all the places Virgil told him to and made it to the stairs without squeaking the floor for the first time since he came here.

“I have a pattern for a trip to the bathroom and to the stairs. Our rooms are pretty close together, so your pattern probably wouldn’t be much different than mine.” Virgil put one foot forward and tested the floor methodically, seeing which areas squeaked and which ones didn’t. He slowly made his way to the stairs where he stopped on the second step, seemingly satisfied with himself. “Skip a step, take two steps, skip another one, turn right, skip a step, then one more step. Though your feet are bigger than mine, so your pattern might be different.”

“Awww, you’re a shorty.” Roman teased.

“Shut the fuck up.” Virgil deadpanned. “Okay, next lesson. Follow me.”

Roman followed Virgil down the stairs, noticing the way Virgil stepped down them. He stepped in specific areas on each step and skipped some entirely as he made his way downstairs, effectively making a lot less noise than Roman did just walking normally. Though, Virgil did say he’d been living here for two years, so it’d make sense that he knows all the tricks to get around Patton. Maybe him and this stormy night could be partners in crime.

Virgil motioned for Roman to follow him into the kitchen and around where the garage door was, pointing to a window once Roman caught up to him. “Lesson number two, this window is your best friend.”

“How so?” Roman asked.

“Well, first off, it’ll help you sneak out without getting caught like an idiot. You know, like last night.”

Roman put an offended hand to his chest. “I was not trying to sneak out!”

“What were you doing then?”

“I was looking for something, and no, you don’t get to know what.”

Virgil gave him a look. “Right. Well, for when you do sneak out, this exit is the way to go. Patton has security cameras pointed at the back, front, and garage doors of the house. This is the only window out of the sight of all of them. Then, you sneak your way around the side of the house and go on your merry way until sunrise.”

Roman crossed his arms at Virgil. “And how often do you use this?”

“Like, twice a week.”

“Twice a week!? Not even I sneak out that often!”

Virgil shrugged. “I don’t go far, usually just to the park down the road. I haven’t gotten kidnapped yet, so it’s whatever.”

“You scare me.”

“Good.” Virgil motioned for Roman to follow him again. “Back upstairs.”

Roman scoffed. “We were just there.”

“And we’re going back up there again.” Virgil smirked mercilessly and walked back to the staircase. Roman rolled his eyes, but he was enjoying Virgil’s tips too much to not follow him. He went up the stairs and met with Virgil next to the closet.

Virgil pointed to the closet door. “This thing right here? Lesson number three, this place is your best friend.”

“It already is my best friend. I use all the paints up there.”

“More than that.” Virgil opened the closet door and turned on the light, motioning for Roman to come inside with him. Roman wasn’t very inclined to because of the cramped space, but his curiosity was greater than his fear for once, so he stepped inside and closed the door behind them while Virgil turned on the light.

“The attic makes a great hiding spot. There’s a lot of drawers and small spaces up there where it’s easy to hide. Granted, it’s easy to tell when someone is up there because you can’t pull the stairs back up when you’re in the attic. But that’s where this comes in.” Virgil grabbed a rope off one of the closet shelves. “Tie it around the doorknob and tie the other end to the stairs. No one can open the door if you do that.”

“Sounds like a great way to give away where you’re hiding if no one can open the door.” Roman pointed out.

Virgil shrugged. “Patton doesn’t try very hard. He might test the handle, but he gives up if the door won’t open. He’ll ask you if you’re okay once you leave, though.”

Roman liked his hiding spot better. It was enough in the open that no one would check it, and there was no indication that Roman might be hiding behind the cabinet. This could be a good temporary spot, though. At least until he could get a black box that could support his weight.

Virgil pulled down the stairs to the attic, grabbing the rope and tying its ends to the stairs and doorknob like he described. He then went up into the attic as Roman followed behind. When Roman peeked his head up into the attic, Virgil was crouched beside a box full of Christmas decorations. Roman walked over to where he was.

“Lesson four, keep your mouth shut about this or else.” Virgil reached behind the box into the corner of the room and pulled out a smaller box that had been hidden behind it. When he opened the small one, he let Roman take a good look at what was inside. Granola bars, a container of salted peanuts, water bottles and chip bags. Roman grabbed a granola bar and a water bottle as he gave Virgil a questioning look.

“Having a spot with hidden food just makes me feel better.” Virgil explained. “I’ve never had to use it, Patton feeds us like he’s four grandmas fucking combined. But if you’re hiding up here and you get hungry, I stash it regularly.”

“Does Logan know about all this?” Roman asked, opening his water bottle to take a sip.

Virgil shook his head. “Like I said, I didn’t show Logan jack shit when he first came. And it’s too late now, and it’s not like Logan would ever use it anyway. Lucky son of a bitch never feels the need to hide.”

Roman laughed. “Lucky is one word for it.”

Virgil didn’t respond, just took the container of peanuts and hid the box back in it’s hiding spot. The two ate in silence for a while; a kind of silence that wasn’t awkward or tense, but wasn’t exactly comfortable either. Maybe because Virgil still felt like a stranger to him.

After a while of them both relaxing next to each other, Virgil finally spoke up. “Tell me your trauma and I’ll tell you mine.”

Roman raised an eyebrow at him, “And knowing your trauma benefits me how?”

“You feel a little less alone. Also solidarity and shit.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m not spilling. Share whatever you want, but it won’t be reciprocated.”

“Can’t say I didn’t try.” Virgil ate a mouthful of peanuts. “I have a theory, you know. Less of a theory and more of the truth, but still. Patton purposely fosters abused kids.”

Roman snorted. “Sounds about right. Easy targets.”

“I think it’s more about him wanting to help us.”

“Believe whatever you want, Hot Topic.”

Virgil smirked. “Hot Topic?”

“Am I wrong?”

Virgil rolled his eyes, but he still smiled a little. “Whatever.”

They didn’t talk much after that, only enjoying the silence together in their own world trapped away in the attic. It wasn’t exactly Roman’s plan, but he still felt safe. He sipped on his water and thought a lot about Virgil’s lessons, trying to ensure they were deep in his memory. But he didn’t need them now. Instead, he sat in the corner of the attic, comforted by the knowledge of the door being locked underneath them, with a silent acquaintance a good distance from him.

It wasn’t the self-care day Roman had planned, but he wasn’t complaining. It worked.

[honklore]

invisible string | dreamwastaken

(requested plot by red string of fate soulmate au, dream is still a streamer, reader has commitment issues, dream just wants someone to love, chat is the best wingman, sapnap and george try but they suck, reader is timid but dream makes them feel brave, taylor swift references, this is not very deep or poetic at all, i don’t like typing y/n so after this i’m going to move to ___)

listen to: invisible string by taylor swift

In kindergarten, red strings were simply a crafting tool, and teachers never mentioned how much pain they would eventually bring.

Because when they appear, from a child’s eighteenth birthday and beyond, they tighten like a godforsaken high school ring that came in one size too small. Like the universe is a child tugging their mother towards the ice cream truck, you’re pulled around central Florida, passes faces you can’t memorize and voices too garbled to hear.

The string knows where you need to go, and when.

And you’re at the park, feeding ducks and trying to ignore that incessant pull that tugs at your pinky, when you hear it.

It’s a voice you know only because it’s a voice that’s been in your house before. At least, through your brother’s tablet screen. Some gamer online — a streamer, with a distinct wheezing laugh that you’d recognize anywhere.

And you do. Behind you.

You risk a small peak, and your heart drops into your chest. He’s tall. Too tall to not intimidate you. And his sandy hair is wavy, curling at the collar of his sweatshirt, falling perfectly into place when he runs his hands through it. When he does, you see it, the red string.

Which means he could see it too. All he’d have to do is turn around.

But you’re not ready. You haven’t been, not since you watched your cousin get rejected on her eighteenth birthday. Since you watched a string of fate get clipped in front of you, like the three fates had finally had enough of your cousin’s happiness.

It was enough to make you curl into yourself, and reject the natural pull set before you. So you run, and you try not to think of what would’ve happened if he saw you before you saw him. You try not to feel the clippers, but the blade feels tangible against your skin.

You don’t stop running until you arrive home.

“Hey chat, just wanted to do a few practice runs and catch up with you guys,” Dream mumbles into the mic, already restarting his game after deciding he didn’t like his seed. The donos begin rolling in, even before Sapnap and George have unmuted, so Dream flits his eyes to the display screen, subconsciously reading along with the text-to-speech voice, “Dream, what if we shared a string of fate? Ahaha, just kidding... unless... love you bestie.”

Dream chuckles, “Actually chat, I felt a tug today! Isn’t that weird? I was actually reading up on what that could mean, and it seems like either my soulmate is in a lot of distress, or they were in my vicinity. I’m hoping, for their sake, it’s the second one. How would you even comfort a soulmate if all you can do is tug on a stupid string?”

“Simp!” George finally unmutes just to be annoying, and Dream knows soulmates are a touchy spot for him, considering he wasn’t given a string on his eighteenth. Which is strange, but not impossible. Of course, chat doesn’t know this, because it would give them more hope of becoming George’s metaphorical soulmate, but it certainly makes for awkward conversations once Dream and Sapnap get into their own soulmate bonds.

“I’m not simping, George!” Dream feels a bit defensive, because he’s genuinely just curious. He has no interest in meeting his soulmate right now. At least, that’s what he tells himself. He has his streams, and his friends, and chat. He’s fine.

[abbywastaken donated $10: dream why don’t you go back to where you felt the pull and see if you feel it again? that’s how i found my soulmate. okay luv u bye.]

“Thanks, Abby. Love you, too. Um, honestly I was in a pretty public place, so I don’t know if they would even come back anytime soon. Also, this is Orlando, right? Tourists are everywhere.”

Sapnap snorts, and Dream thinks it’s funny, since he’s in the other room. “Just say you’re a coward and go.”

“I’m not!” Dream says. “It was just a small pull, okay? It wasn’t even a big deal.”

He feels another lurch when he says that, but this one is in his chest. It taps against his heart, a quick reminder that it beats for someone else, and he needs to watch his words. “Okay, it was a big deal. Sort of. I’ll go tomorrow, okay chat?”

Chat is spamming all types of messages, from encouragement to jealousy. Dream manages to read off a few donos and create his first nether portal of the stream. He answers as they appear, eyes scanning for a fortress. “No, I didn’t see them… I’m not telling you guys where I was, that’s weird… I’m wearing a sweatshirt and jeans… Hi, Sarah and Patrick…”

He trails off as the donos do, and works at getting blaze rods. George is talking about a riddle he just learned, and he’s trying to trick Sapnap into saying something stupid.

Lost in his own thoughts, he finally closes the stream after a hasty goodbye. “What if I missed my chance?” He asks the two boys on the other line.

“It’s a string of fate, Dream,” George says. “You didn’t miss your chance.”

“Maybe they saw how ugly you are and ran away,” Sapnap says, completely joking, but the thought lingers in Dream’s head.

Did they feel the tug, and run away?

You pour cereal for yourself, and when your brother shuffles into the kitchen, you make him a bowl as well.

He’s eleven, and as little brothers go, he’s pretty chill. Aside from the inappropriate jokes and hogging the bathroom when you have to get ready for work, you like hanging around with him.

You pass him his bowl, and he grins. “I’m gonna watch Dream’s new video on the TV, since mom’s not home.”

You furrow your brows. Dream must be one of the dozens of streamers he likes. Maybe one of his friends will be in chat with him, and you will be able to connect a voice to a face. “Can I sit with you?”

He gives you an odd look, and it’s true, you don’t ask to watch videos with him often. “I guess.”

You eat a spoonful of cereal and settle into the couch while he gets everything ready. He clicks on a lime green icon of a little white blob man, and when the first video appears, you’re taken aback by the voice.

That’s the voice you heard. It’s this one, out of all the random men yelling about a block game. It’s Dream.

“Why doesn’t he show his face?” You manage, wanting information about the person that shares your string.

“What?”

“Like, he’s handsome, right? Why doesn’t he have a facecam?”

Your brother snorts. “Handsome? He’s never shown his face, Y/n. Don’t you know who Dream is? He’s like, super famous.”

“Oh.” You think of his golden hair, as sunny and soft as the glow around his entire being. His voice right now, joyous as he gets chased by his friends. “I mean, I don’t keep up with streamers.”

He begins to explain Dream and his friends, along with lore in their role play server, and it’s all interesting enough that you sit and listen, holding on to the little bits of information you can collect about your soulmate.

You file these facts in a secluded corner of your brain and try to make a whole person, along with the hair and the laugh and the intense music he plays as he gets hunted by his friends.

By nightfall, you’re following all of his socials and binge-watching his old streams, holding on to the way he speaks to his friends, and the fond way he replies to donos.

[dreamwastaken is live!]

You click on it, bundled underneath your covers as if someone might see you and find out your secret.

“Hi, chat! I know I was just live yesterday, but I cut it too short and wanted to come talk to you guys.”

He uses his avatar to wave at the screen, and it’s kind of an adorable sight.

[gogysimp donated $25: did you go see your soulmate?]

Your heart stops. Does he know? Did he see you? Or even worse, has he already found someone else, and he just hasn’t severed the tie?

“No!” Dream’s laugh pulls you out of your worries. “I was busy with meetings today, actually. And I was too nervous. Sapnap also refused to come with me, so I’m just going to go another day.”

So he didn’t see you. He just knows you were there.

You click the donate tab before you can stop yourself.

[y/n donated $1: would you reject your soulmate if you didn’t like them?]

Dream mumbles the question, and you try to ignore the way your heart deflates when he skips saying your name. “I don’t think so,” he states plainly. “I mean, logically, a soulmate would be your other half, so I wouldn’t not like them. But I know some people just don’t click, or there are other issues. So, I don’t know. I guess the only thing I can say is that I don’t want to reject them. And I hope they don’t reject me. I mean, imagine finding out your soulmate is a Minecraft Youtuber. That would be pretty weird…”

You giggle to yourself as he trails off and answers another donation. So he’s against rejection. Okay. Maybe you have a chance.

[kyra donated $60: i’m your soulmate.]

“Meet me where you felt the tug, then,” Dream says sassily. “Chat, don’t be weird, okay? I can’t control who my soulmate is, and I don’t want you guys to exclude them if they become a pat of my life.”

Oh, you think. So his chat is vocal about their opinions, and apparently they mean a lot to him. You shiver despite your warm position and imagine how annoying you might seem to his loyal viewers: someone who only knew about him because of their brother.

Insecurity pushes against your chest, so you close the stream and push your phone away, hoping to forget this ever happened, that maybe you won’t have to deal with the inevitable if you don’t think about it.

Yogurt Barn isn’t the first place on your list of dream jobs, but it has decent pay and helps you pay off student loans, so you appreciate it nonetheless. The teal sweatshirt they gave you as a uniform keeps you warm as you scoop the frozen treats.

Your coworker, a girl named Madison, is busy manning the counter, so you check each flavor and refill the ones running empty.

“Can I ask you a question?” Madison met her soulmate, Anna, only days after she got her string. It was a textbook romance, two people meant for each other, no doubt in anyone’s mind. She might be able to help you now. That is, if you can even admit to who your soulmate is.

“What’s up?”

“I felt the tug,” you say, avoiding her eyes in favor of restacking the medium cups.

“No way!” Madison is perky in a way that makes you want to be included. You like this about her. “Did you see them? Did you talk to them?”

“He—” You want to say that the part of him you saw was perfect, enough to keep you up when you should be dreaming. But reality is nothing if not disappointing. “I ran.”

“Y/n…” Madison gives you a stern look — like a mother finding out their child didn’t defrost the chicken in time. “Why would you run?”

“I don’t want to be rejected.” The magenta swirls painted onto the walls are a stark change to the clay sidewalks of the strip mall. “And before you say he wouldn’t… It’s happened to my cousin. It’s possible.”

Madison frowns. “But that can’t be the only reason, right? I mean, we all know someone who has been rejected. It’s usually not the end of the world for them.”

“He’s a famous streamer,” you blurt, and you’re thankful the shop is as empty as it is. Just the words themselves sound fake.

Madison snorts. “Like, gaming? That’s what’s holding you back? He’s a gamer?”

“I don’t care that he’s a gamer!” You hiss. “I care that he has a loyal fanbase who more than likely all want to be his soulmate!”

“You can’t say that for certain,” Madison says. “I mean, everyone knows about the soulmate system. If you watch someone and don’t feel the pull, you know they aren’t your soulmate, right? So why wouldn’t they accept you?”

“I don’t know,” you say. “I’m just scared. I mean, he’s got this huge following and everything and I’m just me. I work in a yogurt shop for goodness’ sake.”

You head into the back to grab more cups, and the bell rings, signaling a new customer.

“Welcome to Yogurt Barn, what can I get for you?” Madison’s customer service voice pricks your ears.

You sift through the boxes to find the smaller cups and listen to the customer’s order. “Can I have a strawberry cone?”

Your string pulls, that same familiar voice filling your head, not on the screen but once again just a few feet away. He’s infiltrating your life, so close you could reach out and touch him, but it’s such a terrifying thought that you set down the cups.

You tear off your apron, and run into the break room to grab a water and calm yourself down.

It’s ten minutes before Madison comes back to find you. “Hey, are you okay? You disappeared.”

You take a deep breath and stare at the poster on the wall. It’s brightly colored, with a walking yogurt cup waving and reminding employees to wash their hands before scooping. “That was him. The guy— the pull— Dream— I can’t— Does he know? Is he following me?”

“It’s okay,” Madison runs her hand down your back. “It’s okay. He isn’t following you. When the pull starts it tends to draw the couple together until they meet. He probably doesn’t know it’s you.”

You nod and take your breaths in gulps. “Okay. Yeah, you’re right. You’re right.”

“Why don’t you go home early, okay?”

Dream is live again.

Fresh out of the shower, you pull a t-shirt over your body and burrow into your blankets. Earbuds in, you try to focus on the sound of his voice, ignoring every ounce of anxiety that’s been riddling your mind.

“Hi, chat. I’m gonna practice speed runs again. I think George is joining soon.”

You open the chat and scroll through the emotes, clicking the ones you like and sending them, just to calm yourself down.

[kylo donated $5: did you find your soulmate?]

Dream laughs. The sound makes your chest tighten with longing. Your fingers ache. “Actually, I went to the place I felt the pull again. I dunno what I was expecting, but they didn’t show up. But after that, I was running some errands and I felt it, chat! I felt the pull again.”

He trails off while his character starts to look for a lava pool. “I feel discouraged but I don’t want to like, chase them, you know? I don’t want to scare them off.”

You click the donation tab again.

[y/n donated $1: maybe your soulmate heard your voice and got scared of you because they watch your videos.]

It’s not the total truth, but it might help him sleep better. You don’t want him to feel discouraged, but you can’t bring yourself to follow the pull.

“That could be a possibility…” Dream crafts a portal and sends his character through. “But I wish I could talk to them. I wish I could tell them that it’s okay. Like, we don’t have to rush into anything.”

[y/n donated $1: They probably wish they could talk to you too]

“Thanks, Y/n.” He sucks in a breath as soon as he says your name. The Minecraft pause screen appears and the sound of a discord call can be heard.

Your heart pounds in your chest. Something about him saying your name just solidified everything. Your arms feel hot and cold all at once, like you’ve just been thrown in a frozen lake. He has to be feeling it too.

“Chat, I gotta go, okay? I’ll try to stream again soon.”

“Hello?” A sleepy voice comes in through Dream’s earbuds.

“George! Their name is Y/n!” Dream is so excited, his voice raising a few octaves as he talks. “Someone donated with that name and I felt like, super weird. I didn’t feel it until I said the name out loud.”

“That’s crazy,” George says, monotone but supportive. “Do you think the dono is actually them?”

“I don’t know,” Dream scrolls through their past donos and quickly screenshots each one. “I mean, they definitely could be.”

He shares the pictures in their group chat.

George hums. “It sounds like they’re trying to tell you how they feel without admitting that it’s them. Where did you say you felt a pull?”

“At the park, and at the yogurt shop down the road.”

“So go there again. Maybe all they need is a little courage. If you feel the pull this time, you should follow it.”

Dream thinks about it for a moment before finally agreeing. He changes the subject to their next jackbox stream, and George is now happily talking about how they’re going to team up against Sapnap.

He goes into Sapnap’s room that night. He sits on his desk chair while Sapnap sits cross legged on his bed, scrolling through his phone. “Do you wanna get frozen yogurt tomorrow? My treat.”

“Hell yeah!”

The new strawberry-lemonade custard is a hit. Not only are the colors aesthetically pleasing for the teenagers who want a nice snapchat story, but there was a promotional coupon in the mail that has people lining up to the door.

“It’s not even that good,” you tell Madison while the two of you are on break. You’re both using a sample spoon to try out the new summer flavors, and in your opinion, strawberry-lemonade isn’t even the best one. “Blood orange is better.”

Madison wrinkles her nose. “No, blue raspberry is best.”

“It’s sour, though,” you say.

“Guys! Break’s over and you’ve got a line!” Your manager stares disapprovingly at the cups of custard the both of you are indulging in.

“We’re coming.” You toss the cup into the trash and walk out, scratching at the sudden itch on your pinky finger.

Pulling on your gloves, you grab a scoop and address the first customer, “Welcome to Yogurt Barn.”

“Hi!”

You still like you’ve been caught stealing on camera. You look up, hand clutching the scoop so tightly you can feel the cold steel through your gloves.

It’s Dream.

It’s him. He’s tall, and his hair is a sunshine blond, dark at the roots and curling beneath his ears. And his freckles… little spots all across his cheeks so endearing that you get a little distracted staring at them.

Then he’s talking, and you have to focus on his jade-green eyes, not his lips, which are a warm pink. “It’s you.”

You blink. Fear strikes your spine and you drop the scoop. “I gotta go.”

“Wait!” Dream calls, just as Madison shouts your name.

You exit out the back door again. Your heart is pounding against your chest, ribs expanding, and all you can hear is the sound of your name coming out of his lips, just last night through a screen.

“Y/n?” Only it’s in front of you, a few feet away, and he’s searching your eyes for any reassurance that you won’t run away again. That you won’t reject him. “That’s your name right?” He keeps talking, a nervous smile flitting across his face. “The donos? That was you?”

You can see the string now, red and blaring, tightening with each step Dream takes. It’s signing off your fate, for better or for worse, and you can’t fathom why he’s trying so hard, why he cares so much.

It’s hot in Florida but you feel cold, chilled to the bone. You straighten up. You figure you owe it to him to look up in the eye.

He leaves you breathless, eyes shining in the sun. “It was me,” you say. “You’re Dream.”

“Clay, actually,” he says. His smile widens, and it’s magnificently bold. He’s triumphant, just from your reply, and that alone gives you the slightest bit of hope.

“Clay,” you say. “I’m— I’m not— I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“You don’t have to be.” Clay is quick to reply, hands open and palms up. It’s a complete surrender — putting it all in your hands. “We don’t have to announce it. We don’t have to be anything at all, if you need time. But I would like to be your friend. If— If that’s okay.”

But you want to be close to him. The draw of your strings pulling each other closer and closer makes you want to wrap your arms around him. If he hasn’t rejected you, maybe you can do this. “I– I want to be more than friends, but I’m terrified of you rejecting me. I’m afraid of the string getting cut.”

Clay set his brows, “I won’t let that happen. We’re connected. Fate, ya know?”

“Yeah,” you breathe, and it’s a sigh of relief. “Okay. Maybe I’ll give you my number?”

“I’ll give you mine!” Clay is animated, holding out his hand for your phone. “That way you can text me when you’re ready.”

The red string shines like gold in the Florida sun, and when your fingertips brush, it burns with a satisfying warmth.

[uwuwriting]

Incompatible ships w/ Todoroki, Kirishima, Bakugou and Midoiya

Request: hii! i love ur posts so i thought why not request ajbakaha,, can i ask for todoroki, kirishima, bakugou, izuku getting jealous bc their s/o is getting shipped with another student :D (it can be their relationship is still a secret or smth) btw i love your posts!! it's free serotonin!! 😽😽- anonymous

Secret relationships are my favorite trope. This and friends to lovers. I live for these types of fics. Random fact, my allergies are acting up bc I helped take down the Christmas decorations and now my hands are on fire. Love ya. 💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: fluff, minor suggestive themes not something major though

Todoroki Shouto

-Things like jealousy are a rare occurrence in your relationship. 

-Todoroki is the type of boyfriend who trusts you blindly and would put his own life in your hands without a single hesitation. 

-Sometimes it bothers him how other people effortlessly flirt with you but he knows that nothing will come out of it no matter how much they chat you up. 

-He knows you can handle yourself and get out of  a situation if things start getting out of hand. 

-And if you can’t, he will butt in glaring down at the person who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

-Everyone around you seem to believe that the two of you are really close friends; none of them have caught a whiff of your relationship and you are proud of yourselves. 

-I mean it is pretty hard keeping so many romantic milestones hidden from your friends. 

-But alas you both knew that keeping all of this to yourselves would be for the best. 

-Now, we all know that the girls of your class drool over any remotely romantic interaction you have. 

-Same goes for everyone actually. 

-Oh Kirishima held the door open for you the other day?? I can see a new ship sailing. 

-Sero helped you pick up your stuff when you bumped into a wall? Your knight in shining armor. 

-Really any sort of kind gesture was interpreted as romantic interest at this point. 

-The worst part of it all was the ship they had created and have been simping over for the past three months. 

-You had managed to create an unexpected friendship with Monoma from class 3-B. 

-The agency he interns in is right next to yours so you take the same train and then walk to almost the same building every single day. 

-You see him during patrol, the pro heroes you work under have paired up once or twice so a friendship was inevitable. 

-So imagine the surprise on your classmate’s faces when Monoma began waiting for you outside the 3-A dorm building.

-Mina wouldn’t shut up about how cute you two were together and what a perfect match you made. 

-Soon enough the other idiots joined the party and you were drowned in ‘awwww’s and ‘love story in the making’s. 

-You got tired of explaining that he was just a friend, that you weren’t interested in him. 

-The fact that you could feel Todoroki’s gaze burn through your back didn’t help at all. 

-Your boyfriend had asked you about Monoma because he too found it weird how he waited for you everyday. 

-The boy’s presence didn’t bother him at first. 

-He was lowkey grateful that you finally had company on your way to the agency considering he couldn’t walk with you since his building was in the opposite direction. 

-It started becoming a problem when all he could hear during the breaks was the stupid ship name the girls had created. 

-He could see how visibly uncomfortable it made you and how you would seek for his gaze during those moments. 

-Then they started talking about how cute your kids would be and that’s when Shoto had enough. 

-It’s one thing hearing about how cute your girlfriend would be with someone else and it’s completely different when you hear about their potential offspring. 

-Grabbing your wrist he basically dragged you out the classroom and into an empty hallway, pinning you to the nearest wall before connecting his lips with yours. 

-You let a surprised gasp which gave him the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth and deepen the kiss, making you grasp onto his shirt as your knees gave out. 

-After what felt like an eternity he let you go for air before attacking your jaw, neck and collarbones. 

-Soon those soft kisses turned into little love bites. 

- “Sho you’re gonna leave a mark.” 

-Releasing your skin from between his teeth, he admired the reddish hickey he had left at the base of your neck. 

-He was sure your shirt’s collar could cover it up just barely. 

- “That’s the point, love.” 

-Intertwining your fingers, he led you back to class, going to his seat with a proud smirk on his lips leaving a very flustered puffy-lips-messy-haired you in his wake. 

Kirishima Eijiro 

-Kiribaby is not the jealous type. 

-Like only if you give your undivided attention to a puppy and you smother it with all your love and affection then maybe, just maybe, he will pout a bit and ask for his own fair share of love. 

-He trusts you just like Todoroki does.

-Nothing has ever happened to suggest that he should worry about others stealing you from him so he doesn’t worry. 

-Plus you are always together no matter what. 

-Almost everyone from your class knows that you are together so the shipping doesn’t start from them. 

-Oh no.

-It starts from class 3-B who has seen you talk to Tetsutetsu quite a bit this past few weeks. 

-You might wait for him outside their classroom during lunch breaks. 

-They have caught you hanging out outside of the school grounds. 

-So the only logical explanation they can come up with is that you two are either A) dating or B) have a thing for each other and are getting there. 

-Soon enough rumors start circulating. 

- “Did you know that someone from the hero course is dating that metal guy from class 3-B?”

- “Yeah yeah I heard it’s that girl Y/N. They do look really cute together, not gonna lie.”

-Eventually these rumors reach Kiri’s ears and they kinda get to him.

-He knows that you haven’t been hanging out extra with Tetsutetsu since every time you guys go out he is always with you. 

-You are the type of couple who does everything together, literally. 

-Apart from being in different agencies ya’ll are holding hands almost 24/7.

-So he really doesn’t get what everyone is talking about. 

-Mineta doesn’t help. 

-He really doesn’t. 

-He starts making scenarios about what you do while Kirishima is out of the dorms; how you have wrapped both homies around your finger and toying with them. 

-Oh the very vivid scenes he creates with all three of you in a…. compromising position. 

-Kirishima hates that most of all. 

-The words coming out of Mineta’s mouth disgust him to no end and soon enough he is walking to your dorm ready to talk this through. 

-Opening the door you greet your boyfriend with a smile and a quick peck but you immediately know what is on his mind. 

- “Baby what are we gonna do?” 

-You basically whine at the question. 

-He spends the whole night at your dorm brainstorming ideas until you both pass out on your floor. 

-And your solution to the problem? 

-Ignore the whole thing and continue on with your lives. 

-He suggested maybe leaving a mark somewhere *like our boy Sho* but you shot him down saying that they would just think Tetsutetsu did it. 

-After Monoma catches you in your classroom making out on your desk though the rumors soon die out. 

Bakugou Katsuki

-Crazy boom boom boy. 

-Your relationship is a secret because he doesn’t want to deal with all the other idiots gushing over your relationship and getting all up in your business. 

-Your relationship is a sacred thing he has sworn to protect and he won’t let Mineta’s ugly ass hands get anywhere near it. 

-Gonna taint it even with his thoughts. 

-Guard dog Bakugou bark bark. 

-It’s fairly easy to maintain a secret relationship with him. 

-Sure he might be a tiny bit calmer with you and maybe just maybe his eyes linger on you during training but yeah he treats you just like he treats all the other extras he is surrounded by. 

-Now, Bakugou is kinda *read a lot* jealous in general. 

-He doesn’t like when people he doesn’t fully trust or like, talk to you or are close to you. 

-He has butted in on your conversations with Todoroki one too many times and the poor crispy baby is so confused like why are you like this? 

-I just want the chemistry notes please let me get them in peace for once.

-You have chastised him about that manier times but your resolve melts when he pouts *YES HE POUTS AT YOU RWIHPWIE* before wrapping his strong arms around you. 

- “I just don’t wanna lose you, dumbass.” 

-You can barely make out his words as his face is buried in your stomach but you heard him and now you are tearing up at the pure emotion he is showing at these moments. 

-At the end of the day though, he trusts you. 

-He may not trust the other horny extras around you but he fully trusts you. 

-There’s no doubt about that. 

-You can imagine ,though, the instant rage he felt when he heard the girls talking about you and Deku. 

- “They do make a great couple.” 

- “Have you seen how they look at each other?” 

- “Good for her, Deku is perfect boyfriend material.” 

-First of all, how dare you, second hold the fuck up…..when did this become a WhoRe hOuSe?!?!?!?!  

-Legit someone has to shake him out of his stupor after that one. 

-You look at Deku in a certain way? 

-Fucking DEKU?!?!?! 

-THoughts are swirling in his mind almost pouring out of his ears when he hears the voice. 

-That annoying ass voice that he has engraved in his brain since childhood. 

-And the moment his eyes land upon Deku and you speaking, he sees red. 

-He is pouncing on Deku in -5 seconds, the poor green haired boy completely unaware of what hit him, literally. 

-They are on the floor wrestling on another, you screaming at Katsuki to stop and get his shit together while your boyfriend is spewing curse after curse at the OFA user simultaneously asking what the hell he was doing with HIS girlfriend. 

-Aizawa had to break them up. 

-They both got detention even though Deku did literally nothing. 

-Katsuki was denied cuddles for a whole week and he was set on explaining duty now that the cat was out of the bag. 

Midoriya Izuku 

-Izuku is the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. 

-He is loyal, shows emotions, is good at communicating with you, has incredible date ideas although he is kinda forgetful at times and his packed schedule doesn’t leave enough time to spend with you, at least not as much as he wants, but he always tries to make up for it in other ways.

-You love how much trust he puts in you. 

-You couldn’t be more grateful. 

-But Izuku has his insecurities. 

-At times it becomes hard for him to understand why exactly you’ve chosen him to love when you could have anyone you wanted in this school. 

-He can’t wrap his pretty little head around the reason why you stay with him when the only thing you get out of all this is others saying you deserve better than some crybaby. 

-It has become his mission to prove to you that he isn’t what others say he is; he isn’t some crybaby, he is a hero in training who won’t hesitate to risk his life for you. 

-You have reassured him multiple times that you don’t care what others say.

-You fell in love with him, him and all of his flaws. 

-No one told you that you should fall for him and no you didn’t agree to date him out of pity. 

-Most of the time you manage to erase those thoughts from his mind replacing them with the warm feeling of your love.

-But there comes a time when no matter what you say, the words of other people will get the best of him and it will be a struggle to build himself back up. 

-He is thankful to have you by his side during those moments because then he truly feels weak, he feels helpless, he knows these things shouldn’t bother him. 

-He loves you and you love him end of story, but they do get to him. 

-One of the worst times he questioned if he was good enough was during your third year. 

-Being in the support department you couldn’t be by his side 24/7 but you did always manage to see him during breaks to the point the whole class knew you and slowly became your friends. 

-The thing is they thought you two were also friends; neither had ever mentioned your relationship and things felt so comfortable between you that they assumed that you were really close friends. 

-Izuku had suggested keeping your relationship on the down low; him being in the hero course and having created rather the reputation, he was afraid that you would be dragged into something dangerous. 

-Plus All Might advised you two to keep it a secret and All Might’s words are law. 

-Izuku loved how well you got along with his friends, it meant that when he revealed your relationship they would all welcome you with open arms. 

-What he didn’t expect though was for them to start shipping you with someone else. 

-For some weird reason the girls of his class started obsessing over your interactions with Bakugou and soon after that they started trying to get you two alone in the same room, much to your dismay. 

-In reality, Bakugou was the only person who knew about your relationship. 

-He had ran into you as you were leaving Izuku’s dorm room, catching you two kiss goodnight. 

-Bakugou, as much as he disliked Izuku, would never get in the way of your relationship and he hated this ship shit as much maybe even more than you did. 

-Izuku was ready to crawl into a whole and die. 

-You had to stay in his room for almost a whole month to calm him down completely, him flying you to your own building in the morning so you don’t get in trouble. 

-It was a difficult time aand his classmate’s comments didn’t help one bit. 

-The tipping point was when he overheard Mina devising a plan of setting you guys up. 

-He walked down to the common room the next day with you next to him, hands intertwined, a hickey barely visible under the hem of HIS shirt, shocking everyone in the vicinity. 

-A new ship was created *after they harassed you for answers*

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