#But won't because no one has time to implement new shit

[acorviart]

Europe VAT laws not changing any time soon, recent. If understand FAQ well, mean shipping to Europe impossible for several years minimum?

That's correct, I won't be shipping to the EU for the foreseeable future due to some import packaging regulations that either have already been implemented or are planning to be implemented in the future.

Note that this is for EU countries only—I can ship to all other non-EU countries like Switzerland, except for the UK due to the UK's own convoluted VAT system.

The only workaround I can offer for EU folks is that you can have a friend or family that lives in a non-EU country place an order to deliver to their address, and then they are able to ship that order to you marked as a gift. Not an option for everyone, I know.

Longer explanation under the readmore for those curious:

As it stands now, each EU country has its own system and fees that I can't keep up with (for example, France would cost me 80 euros per year), I'd need to individually register and report to each country, some require reporting and tracking of what sources of packaging I use, I believe? It's all very complicated, and it makes my head spin just trying to figure out what the requirements actually are, so that's why I stopped shipping to the EU entirely out of an abundance of caution. I also just don't get enough sales to the EU to justify the headache, I'd probably actually lose money paying all the fees. Actually, while I was looking up details while writing this post, apparently there's a new PPWR that's going to replace the old EU Packaging Directive? This is why I can't handle this (ಥ﹏ಥ)

As for why this doesn't seem to be affecting all companies—corporations can obviously afford their own professionals whose entire job is to handle this stuff, and the requirements are also different for large vs small volumes. Meanwhile, a lot of other small or 1-person businesses straight up don't know about these requirements, because it's not like there's a memo passed around about updates to international shipping law. It's also even more confusing because some packages are slipping by without any issue, probably in part due to how the regulations are still new and still being implemented, so I assume it's kind of a mess.

I know of a few people who are willingly taking the risk and shipping to the EU anyway and have had no consequences (for now at least), but I'm not risking the fines ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now for the UK, their VAT system doesn't have anything to do with packaging, but what it does require is similar registration with the government, and I'm required to collect and pay the VAT myself. No thanks!

TLDR; laws hard. laws also expensive. too stupid to figure out and too fearful of fines. no ship to countries

fun story: someone also once emailed me this long diatribe about how they think I'm shit at research and that I'm just making all this up (specifically just to screw with europeans or something, I guess?), so I sent them a few links to the literal official government websites where I got my info (like that UK one), and they never responded. lol

[being-addie]

The Glow Up Game

Part One: Pretty on the Outside

A comprehensive guide to getting your shit together. You heard me. We are done standing on the sidelines, looking at people living their dream lives being rich and hot and happy. WE'RE DONE.

This is a long guide, filled with pointers covering EVERYTHING regarding physical glow-ups. I'll be editing it and reblogging it whenever I come across new ideas and information. It covers everything from head to toe. I mean this literally.

Note: This is for people who want to do glow up physically. It is totally your choice to do anything you want to/don't want to on this list. We live in a world full of unfair beauty standards, and instead of being angry about it, I'm going to exploit the hell out of it.

Are you ready to change yourself? Here we go.

The absolute basics: These are lifestyle changes you're going to implement. Non-negotiable.

Go exercise: Don't look at me like that. This isn't optional. Find a way to move your body so you like it and you're actually breaking a sweat. Leisurely walking on the treadmill does not count, half-hearted zumba does not count. Whatever you're doing, it has to make you SWEAT. A good figure is earned. Trust me when I say you'll feel better, and like what you see in the mirror.

Change your diet: Enough sugar. Toss the soda out, and chuck out your candy stash. You really don't need it. Craving something sweet? Make a batch of healthy, homemade dessert. Or have a piece of fruit. I'm not kidding when I say the kitchen is where you make the biggest lifestyle change. It will be HARD, but every McChicken you say no to, is good for your HEALTH. You want to live longer? Cut out the takeout and heavily processed foods.

Fix your sleep cycle: Sleep is so important, and I think people overlook it so much. All your hard work is wasted if you don't sleep well. Your skin will break out, and your body will refuse to change even if you exercise. SLEEP WELL. Create a nighttime routine and stick to it. Make sure you have at least 7 hours of sleep as a minimum.

Create a skincare routine: Take off your makeup every day. And have a good skincare routine. Cleanse, moisturize and apply whatever you usually do. Exfoliate twice a week and stop touching your face. I also drink an ABC smoothie (Apple+Beetroot+Carrot+Water). This does wonders.

Use sunscreen: I cannot stress this enough. Skin cancer is real, and it will get you if you don't wear sunscreen. Use something higher than SPF 50 and use it religiously. Make sure to get your earlobes, chest and back of your neck. Cover every inch of your skin that will be exposed to the sun.

Drink your water: 3 litres of water per day. You will be amazed at the results. Your skin will clear, your breath won't stink and you won't be dehydrated. This shit works, and there's a reason everyone recommends it. Drink your water.

Moving on to each itty-bitty detail.

Eyes: SLEEP. You want your eyes to look fresh? No pesky dark circles? Get your sleep cycle right. No more late nights. Hot girls sleep on time.

Nose: Those blackhead-looking things are natural, they're called sebaceous filaments. And, no you can't get rid of them. But you can minimize them. Cleanse, moisturize and exfoliate. Don't pick at your skin.

Lips: Don't bite them anymore, for God's sake. You're going to make sure they're chapped beyond belief. Use lip balm religiously and don't overuse lipstick. Your lips WILL get discoloured when you're older. Use a light lip tint, and lip balm/gloss.

Eyebrows: If you want to shape them, go to the hairdresser and get it done.

Facial hair: As someone with naturally dark, thick hair I have a lot of noticeable facial hair. I'm planning on getting it lasered soon. Find a way that works for you and is affordable.

Body hair: I have zero self-consciousness about my arm and leg hair, so I have no desire to shave or wax it. I do wax my underarms, because of ridiculously thick growth. Understand that this is a personal choice, and you do not have to do this if you're unwilling.

Nails: Keep them short or long, always filed and CLEAN. Do not let grime or dirt build-up underneath. Don't keep your nails painted 24/7, it will 100% lead to yellowing. Give your nails some time to breathe between every manicure. When they aren't painted, keep them filed and presentable.

Hair: I have Type 3a curly hair, so my hair routine is tailored to suit me. But what I can tell you is wash your hair at least 1x a week, use sun protectant, and oil your hair before wash day(it works). And use heat on your hair SPARINGLY. If you want to colour you can, but remember it does lead to long term damage, brittleness and bad texture. Get your hair cut every 3-4 months with a trusted hairdresser. Keep switching up hairstyles and do not stick to a single part (middle part, side part) constantly because it can lead to thinning of hair there.

Acne: STOP TOUCHING YOUR FACE I am begging you. Touching your face with grimy hands is a recipe for acne. Cleanse everyday, moisturize heavily and go to a dermatologist if it gets worse.

THIS LIST WILL BE UPDATED

Go live your best life. You deserve everything, and you shouldn't let anything stand in your way, not even yourself. Now GO, you've got shit to do.

xoxo

[thefirstknife]

New article with more details (from Jason Schreier who first broke the story). If you can't see it, I'll copy the whole text under read more.

About 100 employees were laid off in total (8%) and one of the main reasons listed is "underperformance," "sharp drop in popularity" and "poor reception of Lightfall."

So you know when for the last year and a half content creators have been shitting and pissing on the game as a full-time job and the amount of negativity and ragebait content became the only thing to make content about for them? Well they certainly won't take the blame, but I will let it be known. These people either don't understand the influence they have or they do and they're doing it on purpose, and I don't know which of these two options is worse, but I am 100% confident that their campaign of rage and hate contributed to this.

You don't base your entire community around constantly hating everything about the only game you play (despite clearly not enjoying it anymore) and somehow avoid galvanising thousands and thousands of people into perceiving the game negatively. Imagine being employees who have barely worked there for 2 years and the only community reception they've seen is 24/7 hate train for their work and then they get fired because of "poor reception" and "drop in popularity." How can they not take that personally? I am absolutely devastated for these people who delievered a banger product and who were met with an unrelenting barrage of toxic gamer children which ended up having more sway over their boss than them.

Which brings me to the next bit and that's FUCK THE CEO. He is now my mortal enemy #1. I am projecting psychic blasts directly into his brain. What an absolute spineless coward who is more willing to bow down to fucking gamers than to protect his own employees. This is absolutely rage inducing because this has happened before. From the article from 2021 about the toxic culture at Bungie:

Reading this shit from the new article absolutely fucking sent me into blind rage because I immediately remembered this. Another instance of employees suffering because of comments on reddit. And because of toxic players. And proof that leadership is not protecting employees and is instead siding with players.

Match made in heaven. Asshole gamer content creators and asshole CEOs, all of whom sit at home on piles of money made from someone else's labour. I hope they all explode. None of the people that worked on this game deserve this.

Another article with an infuriating comment from the CEO:

In an internal town hall meeting addressing a Monday round of layoffs that impacted multiple departments, Bungie CEO Pete Parsons allegedly told remaining employees that the company had kept “the right people” to continue work on Destiny 2.

"Kept the right people." Really. Veteran composers weren't the right people? Die!

Bloomberg article in full:

Bungie’s decision to cut an estimated 100 jobs from its staff of about 1,200 followed dire management warnings earlier this month of a sharp drop in the popularity of its flagship video game Destiny 2. Just two weeks ago, executives at the Sony-owned game developer told employees that revenue was running 45% below projections for the year, according to people who attended the meeting. Chief Executive Officer Pete Parsons pinned the big miss on weak player retention for Destiny 2, which has faced a poor reception since the release of its latest expansion, Lightfall. The next expansion, The Final Shape, was getting good — not great feedback — and management told those present that they planned to push back the release to June 2024 from February, according the people, who asked not to be identified because they weren’t authorized to speak publicly. The additional time would give developers a chance to improve the product. In the meantime, Parsons told staff Bungie would be cutting costs, such as for travel, as well as implementing salary and hiring freezes, the people said. Everyone would have to work together to weather the storm, he said, leaving employees feeling determined to do whatever was needed to get revenue back up. But on Monday morning the news got worse: Dozens of staffers woke up to mysterious 15-minute meetings that had been placed on their calendars, which they soon learned were part of a mass layoff. Bungie laid off around 8% of its employees, according to documentation reviewed by Bloomberg. Bungie didn’t respond to requests for comment. Employees who were let go will receive at least three months of severance and three months of Bungie-paid COBRA health insurance, although other benefits, such as expense reimbursements, ended Monday, sending some staff racing to submit their receipts. Laid-off staffers will also receive prorated bonuses, although those who were on a vesting schedule following Sony Group Corp.’s acquisition of Bungie in January 2022 will lose any shares that weren’t vested as of next month. The layoffs are part of a larger money-saving initiative at Sony’s PlayStation unit, which has also cut employees at studios such as Naughty Dog, Media Molecule and its San Mateo office. TD Cowen analyst Doug Creutz wrote in a report Monday that “events over the last few days lead us to believe that PlayStation is undergoing a restructuring.” PlayStation president Jim Ryan announced last month that he plans to resign. Many of the layoffs at Bungie affected the company’s support departments, such as community management and publishing. Remaining Bungie staff were informed that some of those areas will be outsourced moving forward.

[middlingmay]

always more football!au Clegan 😊

Honestly this AU was just a goof during the opening games of the Euros, but it's found a way to stick around!

Okay, so, some more headcanons. Let's explore the Buckies later in their relationship:

Gale becomes a full-time STEM reporter. He has a regular feature in a broadsheet, and publishes in journals, respected websites etc. He loves his job now, and Bucky loves to see him thriving.

But it makes Bucky think.

He's been playing at the Champions League for a few years now, and he loved the challenge at first, especially when they made him a centre forward But that excitement waned quickly. There are many more demands on him in terms of PR, media, endorsements, etc. And he doesn't necessarily like some of the strategies they implement at this level to gain the edge during a match.

And when he hears rumours about the potential for him to make Premier League this year if he plays the season of his life, he's forced to confront a few things. Well, one thing, mainly.

Does he want to be a footballer?

He loves the game, he loves the passion, he loves the people. But it feels like the further up he goes, the further removed he is from all of that. So he has a decision to make.

Gale knows Bucky better than he knows himself, and he's all for Bucky exploring other options. He can see his other half losing his spark and doesn't want that for him. But he comes on a bit too strong and Bucky, confused and unsure what he wants, gets defensive and it turns into a fight. A big one.

And Bucky being Bucky, the timing is terrible. The Team are heading to Europe for a pre-season friendly and some training. Gale forgets in the wake of their fight and goes to work early to give Bucky some space. When he gets back, he sees Bucky's things are gone, and he remembers.

And feels like absolute shit. Bucky doesn't answer his phone (it doesn't mean anything; he often can't because of how intensive training is).

But then Gale, doing something he rarely does and trawling gossip sites online for any pics or news of Bucky, sees photos of him talking to a handsome man at a cafe; then again at a bar another night, and the Internet starts speculating if John has a new beau.

Gale throws his phone away and tries not to be sick with worry.

John eventually texts him and says they need to talk, and in Gale's head, well, that's that, isn't it?

So, they both give each other space whilst John's away, and Gale starts to pack some things so he can make a quick escape once him and John 'talk'. He will not let John see his heart break. He won't.

He doesn't greet John at the airport. Just sits in a chair in the living room, his bag next to him.

John walks in the door and for a second he looks like Gale's Bucky, soft-eyed and lazy grin, but then he sees Gale's bag on the floor, that all disappears.

He just says an awfully soft, "Oh", and Gale has to see the horrific sight of John's heart breaking before John manages to get it somewhat under control.

Which Gale doesn't understand. Because Bucky was the one about to break up with him. Clearly.

So he says to Bucky, "I know this is what you want. Figured I'd save you the trouble of having to say it. But just fucking tell me," and his voice shakes and Bucky becomes a bit of a blur, "did you see someone else? While you were gone? Don't. Lie."

So they descend into another argument. Obviously. Because that trips Bucky's anger-switch like nothing else, and Gale goes on about how he's seen the photos, and John should have just told him he wanted out. And Bucky is about tearing his hair out because Gale is the one who let him leave for Europe without so much as looking at him, so...

But Gale shows Bucky the photos and John nearly throws Gale's own phone at his head. "That's Benny, you idiot!"

"Who's Benny?! I don't fuckin' know Benny!"

"My buddy from back in the States! The one in the Air Force?? Benny DeMarco."

He'd heard that surname a lot, but had never seen so much as a photo. But the wind is taken out of his sails all the same and Gale just slumps down in the chair and puts his head in his hands and says, "What do you want, John? Please."

John stands in front of him, but not crossing the distance and he admits like it's something to be ashamed of, "I want out. Of the club, of the League. I want out, Gale. You were right. Shitty delivery, but you were right. I can't do it anymore."

And Bucky tells him about Benny and a charity he works with for people discharged from the military and their families. It's a sports charity, bringing folkd together through various leagues, including a football league. It's based in the US, goes nationwide, and is taken pretty seriously. And they're looking for a new head coach. Benny is offering the job to John.

Gale's stunned, feels like an idiot, plays with the edge of the arm of the chair and won't look at John. He suddenly feels ashamed he could think a thing like that of John, and that they let their fight get this far.

Eventually Gale mumbles, "So you don't want to leave. Me. You don't wanna leave me. Us?"

That finally has John bridging the gap and kneeling at Gale's feet. "The only way I'm leaving, is if you tell me to go, Buck." He fingers the bag Gale packed. "Fucking--please tell me this isn't you saying that."

Gale drags him into his lap into a crushing hug, and both of them are trying to pretend they're not crying, and they sit there until Gale can't feel his legs.

Eyes red and cheeks puffy, Gale says to Bucky, "Do you want the job? With the charity?"

John presses his cheek to Gale's and answers, "Let's talk about it."

[thotsforvillainrights]

I just gotta say I absolutely love what you did with the blog change, the new banner thingies you do for each character looks really nice!! :D

And might I request just some general smut headcanons for my man's Goto, chrono and chisaki?

(Thank you! Now if only I could stay consistent with updating the masterlist or writing in general. THEN it would be 100% the best haha! Until then, I can only dream. Ramblings aside, I feel like I've done something for Chisaki and Chrono at least once in the past before but I'm too lazy to search the masterlist. So just in case, let's do it again!)

~Muscular/Chisaki/Hari Smut Headcanons~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up|drabble

-This has probably been mentioned in the past but should be brought up again...you have to have a certain type of thick skin to put up with this man. This is regarding the relationship in general. At least as far as LOV asshole status goes, you might have a better chance trying to reason with Shigaraki or Dabi. With Muscular, you absolutely cannot take things to heart. He's gruff...he's a gruff man and that's the best way to describe it with him. Now leading into the smut:

-Being hardheaded and stubborn means he has a certain way he wants to go about things. That means if you ever had any hopes of topping him then you're just shit out of luck. 99.9% of the time during sex he's calling the shots. That other small percentage was the one singular time he let you take over on your anniversary. Even THEN he still ended up leading near the end of things. He just can't help being in control most of the time/all the time. Hopefully that doesn't get to you too much because otherwise it may lead to an unwinnable argument.

-He's a little rougher with the things he does. That bein said, he's not a monster! You don't have to worry about him doing anything despicable like taking things too far when you're not for it, or hurting you during it (on purpose at least). He obviously cares enough to be in a relationship with you so no worries there. Also, he's fine implementing some form of a safeword if you feel you really need it. He's grimey but again, he's not a monster.

-Bravo for getting him to be in a relationship with you in the first place. Bravo for even getting him to notice you long enough to hold a conversation without looking at you in disgust. He's surprised by his own actions and so are you (no more so than Pops. The old man is the most shocked by everything). Anyhow, he cares for you but can tend to be selfish with things. Give him a break as he's still learning how to love and how to go about things in a relationship both sexual and nonsexual.

-Beforehand he's going to obviously request you get cleaned up. Don't try to get him with the "but Kai, we're both just going to get dirty again" speech because it's not going to work unfortunately. It's like a chore but you'll come to find that the headache is worth the reward. Once between the sheets you realize he's learned so much since the last few times. He's sickened by the thought (and embarrassed too) but he's spent some time researching just for you. He applies what he's learned and then proceeds to perfect it bit by bit. He won't let anything he does to you be taken terribly whatsoever. He wants to be able to KNOW he's done a good job pleasing you.

-His pace can tend to be a bit slower sometimes, along the line of making love rather than straight up fucking. However, his tune changes easily based on how the night is going and how badly he wants to finish. Speaking of finishing, don't ask him to finish anywhere but in you or in a condom. Splashing bodily fluids all over the place creates unnecessary mess so unfortunately (if you're into facials) you won't be getting one unless you wear into him for a long while until he breaks. Oh, and expect the cleanup to come afterwards too. A mandatory shower before aftercare cuddles is the main thing to expect. As mentioned beforehand, the headache is worth the reward.

-Talk about fun sex, this is the man to fulfill that. It's rare he can be anything but teasing both in and out of the bedroom. Dating him is like dating a best friend. He's pretty much the best partner of the 3. He's attentive and listens to your needs. Don't get me wrong, he's still a little bit of an ass but a teasing one at that. It may get to be annoying how many times he tires to get into your pants once the two of you start dating but if you let him know the jokes annoy you then he'll try to cool off on them for you. He understands not to push his limits too much when it comes to you.

-A lot of times he'll try to draw a little laughter out of you during sex. That way once you're laughing he can swiftly turn it into moans for him. It's like a challenge for this man almost. The sex blindsides you too. One minute you'll be outside in the backyard chatting and laughing on the picnic blanket and then the next thing you know you're giving him a handy in the shed. Other times you're chilling on the couch playing games or watching a movie before you find yourself on the carpet while he puts his tongue to work. Sometimes you might find yourself walking into it thinking you'll just have a quick shower together before suddenly your back is against the wall while he's plowing into you beneath the warm water flowing from the showerhead. Roll the dice on it.

-Despite this, he's really a great person to date outside of sex. If for whatever reason you were seeking a friends with benefits type of relationship, I can see him falling in love rather quickly. Maybe it happens more quickly than you think.

[doggboyy]

I know I just reblogged a post about it, but oh my Fucking God It's almost impossible to have more than one script and still have somewhat functional programming, let alone 3 or more. Implementing one script is extremely time-consuming, and difficult, and has so many risks of failing and compromising current and further programming. Scripts are based on things that have been around for years(like, 30. not just 10), have prominent themes that would genuinely benefit the abusers, and are something easy for children to understand(one of the best examples being the bible) The implementation of specific scripts is information passed down from abuser to abuser, and won't include things that have come out recently(warrior cats, harry potter etc) Forced splitting of alters from media isn't the same as scripts. This is something more widely done, easier to do, and doesn't face the same complications that scripts do. It is literally unheard of to have multiple scripts and functioning programming. It is extremely unheard of for programmers to Try and implement multiple scripts in the first place, because abusers Know That Shit Will Fail can we please get real for like. once. every week theres a new kind of stupid in the tags that could be fixed by a basic understanding of the topics we're discussing

[alertarchitect]

Full disclosure, this is a long one. It's also a vent post. I'm mainly writing this out to help get the thoughts and feelings regarding this kind of organized and out of my head, makes dealing with them just a little easier. Maybe it'll help you put to words your own thoughts & feelings on this kinda shit, too, and if it does, I'm glad my screaming into the void at least helped out someone other than myself! After all, if anything I say, write, or do ends up helping at least one other person, then maybe I'm doing something right :]

Sometimes having long-time special interests in an ongoing franchise FUCKING SUCKS. Perfect example - I am both a big Halo nerd, and really enjoy the overaching lore of Bungie's connected worlds (with how Marathon, Pathways into Darkness, Myth, Destiny, and even the ways Halo originally connected before it had to become its own thing thanks to Microsoft). Here are the ways that currently sucks:

The state of Halo Infinite, the most recent Halo game, both currently and at launch. At launch, you had a buggy mess, with multiplayer that barely functioned, lacking feature parity (even just on the multiplayer side of things, not counting the campaign) with Halo Reach, a game from 2010. Currently, 343i has admittedly fixed a lot of the launch issues - there's more customization than the game has ever had before (still not as good as Reach's customization imo, but at this point I've given up hope on any multiplayer AAA game having that level of customization for free ever again), the desync issues (in my experience) are no longer happening, and it has the most powerful Forge mode in any Halo game to date. The flip side of that, though? Egregiously horrendous monetization, an armor core and coating system that both hurt the customization more than help, and a drip-feed of content with little to no communication from 343 on anything past the most recent update. Not to mention the issues that come from a focus on "Live Service" bullshit.

The issues at 343 Industries itself, which come part and parcel with the massive issues related to Microsoft as a company. Massive megacorporation, horrible management, staff getting screwed over, crunch culture, and more - it just goes on and on.

Halo 5, despite its generally negative reception, is horrendously inaccessible to those of us that want to experience it as a piece of history and/or try out the multiplayer. A perfect example of how little companies care about game preservation, despite the decent track record 343i has had in that respect thanks to the Master Chief Collection, its PC release and addition of Halo Reach, and the efforts to find, occasionally recreate from almost nothing, and implement lost & cut content in the MCC titles.

Being a fan of Bungie's overarching stuff... really bad when you are at PEAK investment into their stuff, namely my Destiny 2 hyperfixation, and they not only announce that their new Marathon game is going to be a fucking EXTRACTION SHOOTER, and thus unlikely to have one of the most interesting things about Marathon in it (that being its lore) while also being very hard to get into thanks to people treating that kind of game as a massive sweat-fest, but also suddenly lay off a bunch of employees (when previously they had a good track record of treating employees decently...) due to Square Enix levels of profit overestimations of Lightfall, the BEST SELLING DESTINY EXPANSION EVER only getting 45% of the expected sales. Because why be realistic, right? Just fuck over employees, that certainly won't hurt us in the end!

The fact that, despite ALL OF THIS and my moral convictions against the shitty nature of this stuff, my dumbass brain still wants me to just spend spend spend on it anyway because of how much of a special interest Halo & the Bungie lore are to me - it almost hurts. I generally prefer fantasy stuff, but I can't stop myself from loving the lore and stories associated with this stuff. I have to fight myself every goddamn time I have money to not fall into the traps. It's easier with Destiny - I uninstalled it, replaced my PvE needs with Warframe and Risk of Rain 2, replaced my PvP needs with Halo Infinite, and just keep up with the story from a distance. But now that Halo Infinite is back in my life? I love the gameplay, hell I'd go as far as to say it has some of the strongest gameplay in the series (though some modes could use a bit more work, for example the Infection mode just isn't as fun as the Infection from Halo Reach), but the monetization just... AAAARGH it hurts me that I want to spend on it, both for customization and to have little goals to work towards in the (thankfully well-implemented due to them being available eternally) battle passes.

I just want to be able to love something that's been so central to me for so long - I played a cracked version of the CE PC demo for countless hours growing up, to the point that to this day I know the mission Silent Cartographer back to front from memory & could do it in my sleep, and associate Blood Gulch with countless memories of Halo's multiplayer from how often I'd play it with my sister, and to add onto all of that Halo Reach is one of my favorite games ever made, period - without caveats and moral hangups. I just want to love something without justifying it every time I think of it, both to myself and others.

I know this is a massively first-world issue, having the luxury to whine about my Favorite Things going through years and years of getting fucked by their own successes driving them into corporatism, but it still sucks. Obviously not as much as other issues both myself and others deal with, and DEFINITELY not as much as the horrible shit people are enduring in several parts of the world, but just enough for me to want/need to vent about how much corporations like to shit on the little rays of sunshine that we use to feel better about life.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

My weekly roundup CW 17

I try to write down my thoughts after watching stuff to create a little weekly ranking in relation to the previous week on my, most of the times, quiet sundays (and because I love lists!). These are just my personal opinions and preferences.

And yes, this may contain spoilers!

→ 1. The Eighth Sense (9+10/10 Final)

Phew. How should I sum up my feelings about it? Korea has a knack for good stories, for me, anyway. And this story is definitely one of my favorites and one of the best I've seen so far. And you can tell it's leaning more towards western television. You can notice the Skam notation and also a bit of the Young Royals setting. But what about the last episodes? I knew there was going to be a happy ending because I was spoilered thanks to MDL, since the movie has already aired in Korea. Nonetheless, for me the journey is the destination, I also like to spoil myself on purpose sometimes. Because while I knew it would end well, I didn't know what the journey would be like. And the way was so beautiful! JaeWon is slowly realizing that his life belongs to him and he won't be better off if he excludes JiHyun from it. He worries so much about not hurting others, about what he thinks is good for others, without looking at what the others might want. He hurts JiHyun much more by avoiding him and excluding him from his life, and he's starting to realize that. And yes, in the end they meet again and this reunion climaxes in such an unbelievably great kiss and a night where both of them can hardly sleep because they can't stop looking at each other and finally enjoying each other's closeness. And JaeWon is completely absorbed in the role of "it's now or never, you only live once and screw everyone else". He's with JiHyun and he doesn't give a shit who knows it all then. And the message of it all: they don't know if they'll make it and stay together, but that doesn't stop them from trying anyway, giving themselves a chance and believing in something positive. It's worth allowing some happiness and love in your life. I am thrilled by this series. The only thing that bothered me a bit was the "reconciliation" with EunJi and TaeHyung.

↑ 2. My Story (3/10)

I was so looking forward to the next episode. Not necessarily because of the good acting of the main couple or their chemistry, but because of Zeke and Fifth! I got a really bad second-couple-syndrome! They're just so cute together, even though I really didn't need the close-ups of their feet! But Fifth was jealous! Ahhhh! And makes no bones about finding men attractive. What's going on with the main couple? I don't know. They briefly didn't interest me after the kissing-after-puking moment…that wasn't romantic that was gross!

Yes, I might be lowkey obsessed with them...

☼ 3. Happy Merry Ending (1+2/8)

Korea is coming up big this year with plots that deal with social anxiety and depression. I'm curious to see how this will be implemented here. In the first episode, we definitely learned that SeungJun has trauma and is medicated in that regard. It seems to be an important, central theme. Especially as a wedding singer who only dares to perform wearing sunglasses because he's afraid of the looks of the audience. And in return, we have JaeHyun who can fit in well with groups and new environments. I love JaeHyun already! He's so obviously hit hard with SeungJun and I love it! He is so direct and wants to spend time with him. Oh love at first sight! Love it!

☼ 4. La Pluie (1/12)

La Pluie surprised me. I didn't think the story would pick me up like that in the first episode. Yes, the concept of going deaf when it rains and only being able to hear your soulmate's voice (even if he's not present but telepathic) takes some getting used to, but I honestly found it quite cute. And yes, love at first sight is also a little favorite of mine. So Tai goes deaf but can hear his soulmate's voice in his head when it rains. However, he has mostly refused to answer him so far because he doesn't believe in soulmates or love. After all, his parents, who were also supposed to be soulmates, divorced each other. That changed his view of love. But his first encounter with the person behind the voice in his head perhaps showed him, what he might miss, if he doesn't reach out already. And as a second couple, we have an enemies-to-lovers story! I am excited!

↓ 5. Our Dining Table (4/10)

Yutaka's brother is just an asshole. But he couldn't help it as a child/teenager, but the parents could have said something. It's so easy to say you're part of the family now and then just ignore when the son bullies the adopted son like that. I want to box him and the parents. And Minoru wants to know so much more about Yutaka. He's so on his way to totally falling in love with Yutaka and his sensitive nature. And he's so sweet and insecure about it. I'm happy if Yutaka can open up to him a little bit.

↓ 6. A Boss And A Babe (9/12)

Yeah, what can I say. Gun is an idiot if he really thinks Cher betrayed him like that. And then he doesn't talk to him right away but gives him the cold shoulder first. Uncool, boss! And the friends realize that Cher was apparently a bit more serious with the boss after all. Even though they're there for him, I'm still pissed about last week. The sleepover was really nice though. Even friendships are not without drama. But it all works out in the end. Gun breaks Cher's Gameboy, but repairs it right away because of his bad conscience. But that's it for the drama, at least between Cher and Gun, right?

↑ 7. The Promise (7/10)

Party, my man! He has really thought, if you can not, Phu, then I'll show you how it's done right! Well, the result was rather so devastating, but I love how Nan reacted! As a person who has witnessed both sides, I think Nan gave the best reaction possible. He showed Party and told him that he is important to him and is and will be his best friend. And Party can now so slowly detach himself from the feeling. It is indeed easier to do such a thing when it is spoken out. Well and Phu…I even understand him. He just has zero hopes, so why jeopardize the friendship? Even though Nan took every opportunity to touch Phu's face in the morning…You can apply sunscreen several times, come on I'll show you. Yeah, right! The two of them have to finally talk to each other. And of course Phu isn't Nan's best friend anymore, because Nan doesn't consider him a friend anyway, he just doesn't quite understand yet what Phu actually is to him. Good episode.

↓ 8. Naked Dining (3/10)

Ohhhh, Futa is jealous! You can tell already very much that the two like each other a bit much. And finally the naked dining was back! And also with the homemade food he made together with Mahori. Yes, this is a rather quiet series as well. I don't know how much drama we can expect, but so far it's a gentle sprinkling. And I'm permanently hungry by the time I'm done with the episodes…

↓ 9. Step By Step (2/12)

Hm. I don't know. I don't like Jeng? And all the colleagues just suck! And then Pat is supposed to leave the only one who is nice to him and who is on the same page with him alone, because there might be gossip? That's bullshit! So I found the second episode not quite as convincing. The friends, on the other hand, except for the slip of his friend, who met professionally with his ex, I still find great!

↓ 10. Our Skyy 2 (3+4/16)

I really wanted to like it. But shit, was it boring! It's a fireworks display of cheesy dialogue…And what kind of ring is that? Am I just too anti-romantic to find that beautiful? I mean, yes, cute, sunflower and star together, but that's too much for a ring…And I have an idea for a new drinking game: A shot every time one of the two says I love you! And finally the cringiest quotes...

"Dao, you're trusting the right person, because I no longe know how to love anyone else. You're the only one I love." "Will you eat breakfast first or eat me first?" "I am all yours, Kluen. Yours and yours only, Kluen." "Once our home is done, our parents will discuss our wedding plans." (Even though Kluen didn't ask and Dao couldn't say yes…)

→ 11. Tin Tem Jai

I took notes: Why did a series like Tin Tem Jai have to include a drug storyline? There was no resolution to the story whatsoever, except that Kana would hit Pao if he took drugs again. Problem solved…Wow! Screw Pao's problems, they'll take care of themselves! Next, I noted: Why does Tin continue to be portrayed as this little boy. That just feels wrong to me. And again, I ask myself the question, how old is Tin supposed to be? And further, you guys can just kiss like that. You don't have to wait until your birthday. The whole kissing contact just doesn't feel good. There's just too much riding on the fact that Park is so much older and more experienced than Tin. I am constantly confused and not feeling good. Luckily next epsiode will be the last one! Finally!

[kingdoms-and-empires]

I don't know about that new subreddit, one of the mods seems to regularly post in r/Conservative and has quite a few... hot takes, to say the least, that I doubt will go very well with most users here. Don't take my work for it: imgur(.)com/a/BFOT6cI

Hello, I'm actually glad you brought this up! The person in question is named Bird on KaE Discord, he's one of my moderators. He's the one who created the subreddit in the first place actually.

In the early days of the KaE Discord, it was like the wild wild west lol, not only was it anarchy and messy...we had alot of political talk in there as well.

We soon learned that it made things too incendiary, and put people at risk of getting banned for emotional outbursts. So we implemented new rules in my server that political talk was now prohibited. Why? Because it has no place in a community that's centered and focused on Interactive Fiction. We came in with the same mindset concerning the subreddit. It's a place that allows discussion only on the topic of Interactive Fiction. Bird and I actually discussed whether or not we should use different usernames for the subreddit. One out of fear for incurring the wrath of some entities, and the other for letting ourselves be open for inspection to the world. It's a very naked feeling, having your commentary be exposed for everyone to see, to judge. But we said fuck it. We shouldnt hide.

His and mine political leanings havent been a problem ever since we prohibited the allowance of political talk in the server.

My server has now grown to over 1000 members, and the moderation of Bird and the rest of the team is a main reason for it.

I invite anyone and everyone to look inside my server. See the vibe of the place. You'll find that the community is one focused on not just Kingdoms and Empires, but the Interactive Community as a whole.

We actually expected this to happen. So thank you for ripping the band aid off and letting us talk openly about it. However, I'd like everyone to know, this anon has sent the same message to every single person who has reblogged the subreddit post. I sense shady shit is underfoot. Honestly, this tactic may have worked if everyone was decentralized and unable to communicate with each other. But thankfully, the Interactive Community is becoming more centralized and united. I have a suspicion on who you are, but baseless claims are below me, and not worth anyone's time.

Just like your baseless claim of Bird's ability to moderation being in question. Not when the past indicates otherwise.

Also, I hope you know: If you continue digging up the past or mass message people who support the subreddit with more screenshots and the like...you're gonna get outed as someone who wants to see this subreddit fail, right? You won't be someone who simply wants to call to alarm a mod being conservative and warn others who disagree with those views. You couldve simply brought this out into the open at the subreddit itself, where everyone could see and we couldn't delete it without looking like hypocrites. Instead you'll be exposed as a bad actor with malicious intentions. Ah but i digress, now im the one throwing baseless claims...until you prove me right :)

Also, shameless advertising: https://discord.gg/73WdMMNXvm

[gachagen]

I'm gonna be honest and say I am not a fan of the new Aetherium Wars event in Honkai Star Rail. The event has a lot of promise and would be really fun, but there's so many annoying roadblocks in it. The fact that I have to spend so long doing a bunch of silly puzzles to battle people, the fact that the game won't let me just jump into a battle with a character I have to sit through the same long cutscene over and over, the fact that some of the monsters are just useless and in fact do nothing to help during the fight and much more.

I wanted to like this event but the longer it's dragged on the more annoying and tedious it's become, and it's not like I hate pokemon or some shit, I just don't like the way they've implemented this event. I also just feel like my monsters do no damage even if I level them up and put items on them to "make them stronger".

I have to keep trying new strategies just to beat some random NPC in a hallway and it's just not fun to me. I don't want to have to keep looking guides up for an event that lasts no more than a month T_T I just want the stellar jade, but they're really putting all these annoying roadblocks in the way that just make doing the event really aggravating.

I don't feel like changing my team every single time I run into an NPC in the hall, I don't like the complicated puzzles all over the place that make advancing through it a pain in the ass (I spent forever on the Herta Space Station one because I couldn't tell where I was even supposed to go and that shitty map was no help whatsoever).

And I can't even put the monsters I want on the same team, I'm only allowed one "gold" monster on the team at a time, the rest are so shitty and barely do anything.

[tsaomengde]

Starfield thoughts

Finished Starfield. If you like Bethesda games, you will like Starfield. If you don't, then you won't. Pretty simple.

More detailed thoughts:

I finished Oblivion's main quest, finished Fallout 4's main quest, and bounced off of Skyrim. Starfield was distinctly the most fun I've had with a Bethesda game. Partly because it's in space and I'm a slut for spaceships and sci-fi. Partly because the combat finally felt - well, look, it's still bad combat. Like, objectively, it is clunky and flat compared to dedicated shooters like Halo or Doom. But it's clunky and flat in a way that feels a little retro to me. Kind of brings me back to FPSes in the 90s.

I also really enjoyed going down the science skill trees and the ship skill trees and crafting myself an OP ship and OP guns. I was playing on Normal and never felt the need to spec into combat stuff. I did not need to put points into Rifles to have them do 20% more damage when my custom-crafted sniper rifle, "That Guy In Particular," could put a penetrator round into someone's head with 85% accuracy from half a kilometer away.

I liked fucking around with the outpost stuff a little bit, but the attempts at giving you the ability to automate production of crafting materials are very clunky. I have not played Factorio or Satisfactory, but I have played an indie factory game called Dyson Sphere Program that is in a very similar vein, and Starfield's ability to set up supply lines between star systems and link stuff up inside outposts is poorly implemented and kind of anemic. Once you spec far enough into science you also get the ability to just make the shit yourself at a crafting table. And the various merchants in the hub worlds sell all the raw materials you ever need, so while setting up outposts to mine the shit yourself is nice, ultimately it is entirely skippable. Which, like, is fine! It's an RPG, you should be able to play the bits you're interested in and leave the rest. But the flip side of that coin is that I respect developers who are like, "You want to be Good at this game? Learn the mechanics." Putting in this big outpost system and then saying "but you don't actually have to interact with it at all if you don't want to" is like if Sekiro said "you can get by without learning parrying."

Spoilers below:

I appreciated that the game picks out the companions you have the highest affinity with at a crucial point in the main plot and says, "You can only save one." It's like the Kaidan/Ashley dillemma from Mass Effect 1, only dynamic instead of static. I did feel bad when my then-BFF Sarah died. Not, like, *super* bad, since none of these people hold a candle to the classic companions from Dragon Age or some of the new hotties from Baldur's Gate 3. But I really did like Sam Coe, mostly because he's voiced by Elias Toufexis, best known as the voice of Adam "I Never Asked For This" Jensen. So I would have been sadder if he'd died, but I put the main plot off until super late and you only get him halfway through it so my affinity level with him wasn't high enough yet to put him in the crosshairs. Ha!

The main plot having to do with multiverse theory, and the NG+ just being the next universe you enter once you finish collecting the macguffins that open the multiverse portal, is clever. I liked that the multiversal travelers you come into conflict with over the macguffins are alternate-universe versions of people you've already met, including whichever character died in the aforementioned choice. Overall, pretty solid writing. Nothing exciting or exceptional that I haven't seen before, but just enough of a twist and a little spice to keep it interesting. It does take a while to build up, though, and everyone who's said "the game only gets good x hours in" is correct. The main plot takes a *lot* of time to heat up. I did a bunch of random Bethesda fucking around and a couple faction questlines before I touched it, and I only went to the main plot when my brain was telling me "I am about to start experiencing diminishing dopamine returns from this game so you might as well finish it up."

At the end of the game, you activate the macguffins, step into the multiverse portal, and are presented with a choice: go on to the next universe (NG+), or stay in the one you have. I liked that there was a choice. My character, Skade, decided to stay in the one they have. They've built a good life for themselves here. They have friends here. They wrested the macguffins from the hands of the multiverse travelers who thought they knew better than everyone else what to do with them. They're not ready to leave. Maybe someday they will be, if and when I come back to Starfield and want to do a NG+. But for now, I, Gabe, am moving on from the game in this universe. In the universe where Skade is a real person, though, they're still going off having adventures with their buddy Sam and his daughter Cora. And I think that's a nice thing indeed.

[sole-soul-sold]

02/03/2023

Sometimes, I wonder what makes firsts so important. I lose sight of what makes them so special. I mean, I understand the entire part of not having a memory to refer to when encountered by a first, but shouldn't that be uncomfortable? Why does it excite you so much when I'm shit scared by the idea of it. I mean sure, there's a rush AFTER the thing is done, but is the anxiety and uncertainty that precedes it worth it?

This is probably the stupidest thing I've ever written. I might not even agree with it in a couple hours, but, this time around, I don't see a lot of prospective "good" firsts happening. And like I said, I'm shit scared.

It's just that, I don't have a plan to follow after something happens to me for the first time. Sure, the internet helps sometimes. But googling, "What to do after I fail an exam for the first time?", will only give me a truckload of motivational, self improvement crap I didn't sign up for. Sure, I might use it later, but I'm entitled to wallow in my misery without feeling judged, for some time atleast. Add to it the fact that deciding to do something good for yourself, and actually putting those plans to implementation are two very different things and I can't get started on either of them. Effectively, that is. I'm a few baby steps through both, and it's not moving me any mountains.

It's not just the academics either. It's all the stupid stuff that you could possibly imagine. Like, for example, using a menstrual cup! It's a large fucking cup that just won't budge and as much as I want to, the concept of folds ( mine and the cup's ) has me hiding under my blanket, trying to ward off any actual effort that I might have to put to set things straight.

Trying a new dish for the first time! It's so important?!! I mean, wrong place or wrong time or wrong company, and said dish is ruined for life. Bummer.

And don't even get me started on the romantic aspect of things. A guy says he likes me. First time I ever hear it said, I ask him to shake hands with me, because that is exactly the way to go about business! The first time someone holds my hand and interwines their fingers with mine, my hand DIES OUT ON ME! It stills, paralysed, loses the will to move at all. Amazing timing. It doesn't help that it sends my mind into overdrive and I can't help but spiral into the 'why, what and how' of things. Also, the fact that the majority of relationships within my core group of people are severely dysfunctional and make me want to barf, does NOT help me with prospect of starting one on my own, no matter how much I want to.

There's so much 'hype?' around the concept of firsts that the idea of not getting it right feels criminal. Imagine, the first time you fail an exam, it sets off a domino of a bad academic career. The first time you have fish, it gives you an upset stomach and you never try it again. Turns out, it was cooked wrong, and you just assumed that it doesn't suit you. The first time you kiss someone, it is not what you've dreaming about since you were 7 years old, and you can't help but question everything you've believed in, because yours truly is dramatic like that. The first relationship you have isn't the fairytale you always thought it would be.

Your firsts are standards that you set for life. Firsts set off cascades and cascades of reactions, as if stepping over a threshold. Everything and anything that happens to you from that point on, will be at all times compared to the first time something happened. The chances of not having an amazing first time at anything far exceed the those of having a moderately good one, compromising your standards for life.

Like I said, I'm shit scared. While I understand that the idea of firsts might be beautiful to most, undeniably exciting to some, to me too sometimes, it still scares me. I've said this before, change scares me.

But maybe, just maybe, I'm looking to be compromised, in the hopes that it goes well.

I don't think anything I said today makes sense, but bear with me and my nonsense for a while, will you? I'm sleep deprived.

Have a good day y'all.

[n0v4r3d]

8/100

07.31.24

day 8 of 100

THE 100 DAY PLAN

Know what feels fucking great? Exercise. But not just like the quick hit from not doing it for awhile… I’m talking about sustained discipline, habit, and routine. I’ve been at it every day (minus one rest day) for a month. That’s not very long. But having started and stopped so many times in the last couple of years after being a pretty avid runner, I can say that it’s great to have it be part of me now (or should I say again). It is a critical first step to the start of every day for me. I not only have experienced visible/reps/set gains, but I feel emotionally and physically so much better.

Exercise is cited as an important part of mental health (and obviously overall health), but I think when people like me are in the thick of the shit, not only the thought of physical activity, but the annoying association that it’s some sort of “gee thanks, I’m cured” treatment can act as a huge deterrent. It’s easy to be cynical when you can’t be proven wrong by not even trying. Or half assed rebuttals that you already tried it. But did you? Because it’s not a cure all or quick fix. It’s about the routine and discipline. Not only are the insanely obvious health benefits only apparent with consistency over time, it also adds a mental component of sustained accomplishment and dedication. And patience. One workout won't get you jacked. But a few months can... and then you keep going.

I’m not some Olympian athlete trying to become a biological machine of athletic efficiency. I just want to feel good. And so far it’s worked.

I didn’t really expect this to be the direction of my morning journal today, but I guess it’s an instant of periodic reflection. To be here one month after its implementation and to see and feel results further fuels the narrative that A.) I can achieve what I desire to and B.) it’s worth the effort. The most annoyingly true marketing slogan of all time is “Just do it.” It’s so simple. So succinct. Many scoff at the lack of nuance. But that’s the whole goddamn point. Get out of your own way, stop rationalizing irrational bullshit and just do it. It’s only in hindsight we find gratitude for the spark that sets us on a new path. And that’s where I am in so many ways - not just exercise.

I’m mentally a mess. But I’m OK and I’ll be better eventually.

And keeping these strict and disciplined routines has kept order in my life. Instead of letting chaos reign, I can now give myself a little pat on the back and pep talk about what is achievable. So I live every day celebrating the small victories. One day they will cascade into the bigger ones too.  Until then, I will combat any pessimism or anger and find gratitude in all I do.

Everything is easier said than done. But after 34 years, I think it’s OK to lean into finding a new way to walk the walk. It’s high time I take my own advice and help myself too instead of distracting my way out of it by trying to solve everyone else’s problems.

[blackasmyhangryfurrybrokensoul]

What do I feel frustrated with myself about?

That I get nervous when I'm around her

I do better caffeinated, or when I'm so tired I can't be nervous.

I could also do some calming exercises or mentally psych myself up for seeing her, if I know it's for sure.

That the above slows down my already slow processing

That she'll start conversations but I won't reply with anything because I'm still processing and thinking of a reply

I could try jumping backward in the conversation or coming back to points she mentioned. She does the same so.

Feeling like I generally suck at conversations

Idt this is going away any time soon. You have gotten better at conversations, but most people aren't that amazing.

Feeling too overwhelmed to implement my observations of how to hold conversations

I kinda think I'm also overwhelmed in general. Maybe plan and know my route ahead of time, leave much earlier so I can arrive early and avoid stress, maybe say I'll be later than I actually expect I'll be

That I feel unfun to be around

Maybe hang with your family more. You feel fun around them. They might not change how you go about things but you may at least feel better about yourself.

That I feel socially incapable because of the above

That I get so nervous and stressed over planning or trying to initiate anything

Give myself time to psych myself up, decide on what I wanna do, and then actually ask for it. Don't be in a hurry but also try to have a clear idea of what and when before you ask, but allow for some flexibility.

That I feel like whatever I suggest will suck

You can't know till you try.

That I'm comparing myself to the people and events she's used to

That I feel like I'm not good enough because of that comparison

Being scared of being rejected when I do suggest something

Being scared of my suggestions just plainly not being noticed/remembered

Planning/initiating stuff and deciding when to spend time doesn't come naturally to me -- how do people be like "yeah it's been long enough that we should do something?" --- I already feel that way WHILE IM HANGING OUT WITH HER

feeling so busy and overwhelmed that even though I wanna initiate stuff, I feel like I don't have the mental energy to do so in case I get rejected/it becomes a difficult plan.

That it takes me time to get used to and comfortable with a person's presence enough to be chill around them

That we're only around each other for short periods of time so I don't get the chance to get used to her presence

That we aren't as physically affectionate as I'd like us to be

That she doesn't initiate physical affection too much

That I have to worry about what she is/isn't okay with

That I have a hard time telling.

That it sounds like she doesn't mind if I just - do things - like physical affection

But that it sucks if I'm wrong about that and just seem like I don't give a shit about consent

Not knowing what environments she'd be comfortable with what kind of physical affection

The one time she told me her friends are quite touchy

The fear that she's more physical with her friends than with me

The fear of initiating physical contact only to be rejected physically

The fear that she's more physically comfortable with others than with me

The fear that people will flirt with her and she will flirt back when I'm not around - even like "straight joke flirting" bothers and confuses me so much so the idea scares me so bad and I feel stupid for it

Jealousy

Feeling jealous of the stuff she does with her friends or sisters cuz they're often stuff I wanna do with her but I just feel like I'm copying if I try to

Not knowing where to find all these cool places and activities

again feeling lame because I can't plan anything half as nice as what she's used to.

Wanting her to try new things with me but I feel like she already has done everything

Wanting to have the closeness to call her with short notice

Wanting to have the conversational skills to carry a call and not make it awkward

Wanting her to see a thing and think - I want my first/only time doing this to be with moony (me) rather than with her family or friends

Wanting to try new things with here but being scared she won't enjoy them

Feeling overly emotional and being unable to handle my own emotions very well

Not knowing if she wants any physical contact with me or not

Getting mixed signals about the above bc she doesn't like long hugs and i feel like that's my favorite form of physical intimacy and feeling sad i can't have that with her

I feel like physical intimacy is a gradual thing and if i can't pass the long hug/snuggle/long hand holding milestone, how will we get anywhere?

Feeling physically self-conscious about myself like what if I'm just not attractive? I don't know what she sees and I don't feel pretty

Feeling like a failure of a human for not being able to figure any of the above out

Feeling stupid if I propose something to do together and it doesn't happen.

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

Fandom gets off on making Wiki admins work for nothing, and for free, every month or so. Their hopeless attempts at making their site ADA-compliant at the last minute are causing admins to have to constantly rework their theme - sometimes to realise there's no way to make everything work together and their only solution is to start from scratch. Accessibility is extremely important but Fandom is putting that work on its users' shoulders. (And it won't work. So many Wikis are abandoned, so many admins are just never going to edit their theme again, and leave it to look like shit, or to be inaccessible.)

There exist tools that allow each user to adapt each page to their needs, but Fandom has apparently no interest in implementing those - they'd rather make volunteer Wiki admins do brand new designing work regularly than put in the work site-wide themselves, or sign a contract with a company that does it.

This is the kind of shit you're supposed to get paid to do. Fandom makes it clear that Wiki creators and contributors are not curating a site for their own entertainment, but instead doing free work for their company. Again, accessibility is extremely important, but Fandom could easily create accessibility tools for its users/readers. It's not the fucking norm to expect random people who just wanted to create a Wiki about their favourite types of bread to do your work for free.

And don't give me "you could just use their base theme instead of making a custom one." Being able to customise your Wiki is Fandom's main reason to exist. If they cared about their platform, they would make that part easy.

In case it's unclear what I'm talking about when I mention accessibility tools for the reader, I'm referring to a tool such as UserWay.

As is presented on this site called Making Queer History, you can click the widget in the top left.

It allows me to change so many things about the article's appearance without forcing some unpaid admin to change their theme for the 4th time in a row during their free time.

It's not that I trust Fandom to have a contract with another brand, such as UserWay for example. But if they actually cared about making their platform easy to use and accessible, they could develop a tool like this. Similar to how they added a button to change from light theme to dark theme... except volunteer admins had to create both themes themselves. :) Either way, if they actually cared about accessibility, they'd have to remove some of the ridiculous amount of ads on each page.

I wound up going on for too long, yet again, when what I actually wanted to say is this: if you're creating a new Wiki, don't use Fandom. This is for your and your readers' sakes. There exist other Wiki platforms. You can absolutely use them. You don't have to default to the capitalistic monster. Yes, MediaWiki can be its own sort of hell for many reasons, but I can tell you that dealing with it on other platforms than Fandom is a lot less jarring. Create your Wiki on another platform so you won't regret it when you inevitably want to migrate because Fandom is a seriously bad site (learning python just to port files over is not going to be an easy choice to make when you reach that point.)

Hell, tumblr is an example of an accessible, yet customisable platform. The low contrast theme makes my eyes happy. I can choose to view blogs in that theme. I can add colours to my pinned post, and my mutuals who have difficulties reading coloured text can disable it in their preferences. tumblr isn't perfect but it cares about this. Fandom doesn't care.

[gokubrain]

Img gmoing insane I need KakaVege or else I'll dehyrdate pls give me ur headcanons or fav things about their relationship pls anything

okay so i've posed my headcanons thousands of times here BUT i will do it again so here is my kakavege masterpost (feel free to add):

for starters here's my ultimate kkvg playlist i would go in depth about why every song is kakavege coded but i dont think anyone cares that much LOL :

okay now here r some of my fave kakavege pics:

okay and now finally...

HEADCANONS:

vegeta is still really sentimental about saiyan culture and tries to implement it into their relationship when possible--the most prominent of which being the earring. when saiyans get married, they get the cartilage of their ear pierced. at first, i think vegeta gets this piercing without really informing goku of its significance and kind of just hopes goku won't notice because he's a bit embarrassed about it, but of Course goku notices immediately and upon further coaxing gets vegeta to spill. after knowing what it means, naturally goku wants to get one too, but here's where my headcanon splits into two separate ones: either goku braves his fear of needles and gets it pierced to match vegeta, or he wears his somewhere else, like on a chain around his neck. its up to you to decide which you like better lol

vegeta doesn't sleep well at night, i feel like his time spent in the freeza force conditioned him to wake up at the slightest noise in case he needed to defend himself or something--between that and the nightmares i'm sure being a freeza force soldier would give him, he wakes up a lot in the night and thus tends to sleep in late. this is the opposite for goku, who needs to rise early to tend to the farm, and tends to go to bed far earlier that vegeta does.

as aforementioned, vegeta has a lot of nightmares, especially before dating goku. but i feel like the more vegeta and goku sleep together, the safer vegeta starts to feel at night in goku's arms and thus has less and less nightmares. still, even when he does wake up in the middle of the night because of a bad dream, goku is always right there to pull him close and tell him it's okay. likewise with goku--though not as frequently, i'm sure goku has occasional nightmares too from all the shit he's been through, and while vegeta is not the best at comforting i still feel like his presence and understanding is enough to make goku feel better. <3

while we're on the subject of sleeping i'd just like to say that vegeta definitely wears goku's clothes to bed it's just a fact ALSO vegeta and goku always sleep facing each other and holding each other hhngnghghg

vegeta is a terrible cook. i think between being a royal child, spending his formative years eating random aliens over an open fire, and living with bulma, he's never had to cook a day in his life. luckily, goku is a great cook, so vegeta is once again well-fed by someone more capable lol

sometimes goku will go on long camping trips that last days at a time, i think goku is just like this in which he has this ingrained saiyan urge to go exist with nature and explore the unexplored and discover new things,, vegeta hates this though lol he hates being apart from goku for so long even if he doesn't want to admit it. goku will wake up earlier than usual one day and kiss a half-asleep vegeta goodbye and then just be gone for a weekend or so. vegeta spends a lot of time sitting by the windows watching the treelines.

goku makes enough money to survive from his crops and stuff and also i believe he trades things with other farmers for all the things they need but vegeta has NO concept of money,, this is just true

speaking of no concept of money i know everyone thinks im crazy for this but to me vegeta is a gamer and likes spending lots of money on video games like webkinz and DS games like nintendogs and stuff LOL OKAY i know everyone probably things im just insane for this but its TRUE i promise vegeta is a gamer its how he and trunks bond b ut anyway goku doesn't get it and is always just like. where did all my money go and vegeta's like yeah i spent $400 on this rare webkinz strawberry cow plush just trust me okay i'm right

getting into shrumo territory now i hope thats okay but whenever shrumo is born vegeta is the one who spends the most time with her at night given as how he doesn't sleep well anyway and any time she makes any sound he's just. awake lol,, meanwhile goku takes care of her mostly during the day they kind of cycle every 12 hours to take care of her

this is the last shrumo one i'll do (lmk if u want a separate post) but i think goku and vegeta actually get into a lot of arguments about how to raise shrumo even tho they both do a fine job and they agree on a lot of things,, vegeta is just a bit harsh bc he wants her to be the best she can while goku is a lot more lenient and wants to be easier on her given the guilt he feels towards gohan (cell games era) but specifically they like to argue about who gets to train her every day and they just wake up earlier and earlier and earlier to get to her first because they both want to train her LOL but they agreed early on to train her separately bc ,, they have very different training styles and different approaches to training their children specifically so

okay i already typed wayy too much i hope that's all legible and understandable but i hope this post quenches ur kakavege needs anon mwah