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arlana-likes-to-write · 3 months

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Domestic Life

Summary: Glimpses of your relationship with your wives.

Warning: pregnancy and pregnancy symptoms, mission injuries, small amount of angst, fluff

Word count: 7.6k

Note: All italicized parts are flash backs

You were up when the door opened and the sound of little feet entered your room, but you pretended to be asleep. “Be quiet,” Evan whispered. We don’t want to wake mommy.” You wouldn’t classify it as a whisper, but it was quieter than your daughter, Olivia.

“Then help me up,” you heard them struggle to climb onto the bed and felt the blankets move as Olivia used it for leverage; you grabbed it so she wouldn’t fall. Opening your eyes slightly, you watched your daughter, who was the spitting image of your wife, crawl over to you. You moved quickly when she was close enough and trapped her underneath the blanket. Her squeals and laughter echoed in your quiet room. It made the loneliness disappear. “Livie, help me. Help!” It was easier for your son to climb onto the bed and hang off your back. You let go of Olivia, and she was able to free herself.

“Alright, uncle, uncle,” you laughed and lay down on your back, your kids on both sides.

“Are they coming home today?” Olivia asked. You nodded and ran your hand through her long brunette hair. It was rare for your wives to go on missions. They were only used to provide advice, but sometimes, they were needed. It never got easier, and it still filled you with anxiety. You knew it wasn’t easy for them to be away from you and the twins.

It was a slow day. Well, every day was slow, but today was unbearable. It had to be the heat. Even if people had car problems, why would you leave the air conditioner? You were surviving on lukewarm water and a hand-held fan. The guys in the back weren’t doing much better, surrounded by cars and tools.

The bell ring startled you since you weren’t expecting anyone to come through the front door. A girl around the same age as you walked over to the desk. Her dark hair was pulled into a bun, and her blue eyes were striking. You noticed a few things. Right away, you knew she was not from here. You knew everyone from your small town and the surrounding area. Second, she was wealthy; her wristwatch was more than you made in a year. “Well, hello, stranger,” you said with a smile. “I don’t think I know you.” She looked down at the outfit she was wearing.

“Do I look that out of place?” You shook your head.

“I just know everyone in this small town,” your final observation was that she was attractive. “What can I do for you?” The stranger leaned against the desk.

“I’m having some car trouble, and you guys are the only mechanic,” which was true. It was good for business.

“Pull your car up to the garage, and I’ll have the guys take a look at it,” she thanked you and ran out the front door, almost tripping on the welcome mat. You chuckled and walked to the back. To your surprise, the guys were already pulling in a black BMW, and a blonde stood beside it. She offered you a small smile and turned her attention to the brunette when she approached her. It was unfair how attractive they both were. The dark-haired stranger was wearing a white linen top with faded blue jeans. Her pair of high-top Converse shoes were well-worn. Now, the Blonde wore a yellow plaid skirt and a long-sleeved shirt tucked in. You were shocked that she was wearing a long sleeve in this heat.

While the guys were looking at the car, you offered them water and a place to sit in the area with an AC. You were practicing good customer service not because you found them attractive, not at all.

Their names were Kate and Yelena, and they were passing through on a business trip. The guys said that their transmission needed to be replaced. They blamed the heat, but fixing it would take a few days. Maybe it was a little selfish that you were happy the car would take a few days to fix. You enjoyed your time with the duo every time they came in to check on the vehicle.

You liked Yelena’s dry humor, accent, and the small smile she would give Kate. Kate was cute when she stumbled over her words and was easy to fluster and blush. You knew they would be on their way once their car was fixed. Their time here was limited.

Months passed, and you still thought about the Blonde and brunette. What were they doing? Was Kate annoying Yelena with her music choice? Did they make it safely to their destination? They consumed your thoughts even in such a short time they were in your life.

On a busy day at the shop, two familiar faces walked up to the desk with your go-to coffee order and smiles that still made your heart flutter. Five months after they left, they returned to ask you on a date. It was the fastest, yes, you said.

“Mommy, I’m hungry!” Olivia wined. She had Yelena’s appetite; she was always hungry.

“Well, we can’t have that,” you smiled. I’ll start breakfast if you two take the pups out,” the twins agreed and were quick to climb out of bed. You were slower getting up, stretching when your feet touched the ground, and brushing your teeth. By the time you walked into the kitchen, Fanny and Lucky were chasing the twins outside, and their dog bowls were filled with food.

Now, it was your turn to uphold your end of the bargain. You decided on scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast with jam. A simple breakfast that you’ve prepared so many times.

Long distance took a lot of work. It consisted of video chat dates, constant text messages, phone calls, and longing to be with your partners. It was a unique balancing act, especially since you were dating two superheroes.

It lasted two months. One day after work, you stumbled into your apartment expecting to find it empty. However, Yelena was there raiding your kitchen. “You have no food,” you jumped at the sudden voice. “Do you not eat”? You stared at the Blonde, your heart pounding so hard you could hear it in your ears. “I expected you to be happier to see me,” she smirked.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, quickly dropping your bag and closing the distance. You hugged her tight, finally feeling at peace after a long day.

“I missed you,” she said simply and kissed your forehead. “And I want to talk to you about something,” a rush of anxiety passed through you. “All good, I promise. Go clean up while I figure out what to make for dinner.” As you headed to your room, you heard her mumble, “She is as bad as Kate.” That made you smile.

Yelena was able to make a pasta dish. It was better than the TV dinner you were going to heat up in the microwave. Over dinner and a bottle of wine, Yelena asked you to move to New York City. There was nothing holding you here. Your mother passed away, and your father left you when you were five years old. So you agreed. You put your two weeks in and packed up your apartment to move to the big city.

You met their dogs, which you’ve received so many videos and pictures of, started your new job while going back to school, and fell into a routine consisting of you waking up first, making breakfast and coffee, and starting on any schoolwork that needed to be done. Yelena and Kate would do their superhero duties while you went to work. You tried to routine who cooked dinner, but Yelena was the better of you three.

It was a big adjustment for you, but you enjoyed it.

While you were loading the dishwasher, the doorbell rang. You racked your brain on who it could be and dried your hands to turn on the tablet connected to the security system. Your wives were a Black Widow and the former CEO of Bishop Security, your home had the best security system. Smiling, you saw who was at your front door. “Olivia, can you get the door for me?” You called and continued to load the dishwasher. Your daughter huffed but stood up from her spot on the couch. You counted down until she figured out who was at the door.

“Auntie Nat! Auntie Ria!” she yelled, and you heard the grunt of your sister-in-law as Olivia threw herself at her.

“What is your mom feeding you?” Natasha questioned. “I feel like you are getting stronger every day.” The door closed behind them.

“Mama is teaching me how to fight!” Olivia told her aunts. You dried your hands and joined the group in the entryway.

“Against my wishes,” you smiled. Evan was already dragging his cousin, Nicholas, outside, and you had enough time to ruffle his hair as he passed. “Not that I’m thrilled to see you guys. I wasn’t expecting company,” you said, giving the couple a quick hug while Olivia dragged their youngest, Lauren, outside to join the others.

“We thought we’d surprise you,” Maria said.

“Are you hungry? I just made breakfast.” Natasha shook her head.

“We ate before we came over,” the three of you walked out to the back porch to watch the kids and dogs run around. The sight made you smile. “They are coming home today, right?” You nodded.

“I’m not sure when,” you looked at the redhead. “I got a text from Kate right before you guys came over. Things are taking longer than expected,” you rested your hands on your stomach and played with the wedding ring.

“It’s going to be okay,” Maria tried to reassure you. “They will always come home to you and the kids.” You knew that. They promised before every mission that they would come home. Natasha placed her hand on your shoulder and squeezed it.

You were jealous of Natasha and Maria. They were fully retired from active missions and spent their free time training newer agents. They would be fine and come home.

One of the hardest things about living with Kate and Yelena was seeing the effects of their job firsthand. It was easier to hide it from you when you lived miles away. No matter how late they got home, you checked over them and helped clean every cut and bruise. In the beginning, they found you on it, but they learned it was for your benefit. You needed to make sure they were okay.

You pushed Fanny and Lucky as you walked into the apartment. The dogs could smell the treats in your bag. “Guys,” you laughed. “Back up,” you managed to set your bag on the chair. They sat without a command, their tails wagging so fast they could generate wind to power a city. You pulled the treats out and handed them to them. They took off to their beds to enjoy it. Not even your phone ringing disturbed them. It was Natasha.

You remembered how terrified you were when you were introduced to the Black Widow. She was intimating and was looking after Kate and Yelena’s heart. If she needed you, Natasha would text you. She never called. Your heart leaped into your throat. Kate and Yelena were on a mission, not Avenger duties. Kate was helping the Black Widow free Widows who were still under the Red Room’s control. “Hello,” you answered.

“Don’t panic,” it sent you deeper into a panic as you sat on the couch.

“Natasha, that did not help,” the redhead laughed. “Are they okay?” She sighed.

“Bruce is looking them over now. Kate got them to the compound before she passed out,” Natasha explained. “They both haven’t woken up yet.”

“Nat, I-”

“I know,” she cut you off. “Maria is already on her way to get you and the dogs. Pack a bag, and I’ll see you soon, okay?” She nodded.

“Okay, I’ll see you soon,” you hung up and stayed frozen on the couch. You knew you needed to get stuff together—clothes for you, your schoolwork, and food for the dogs. But you couldn’t move. You reran the last conversation you had with them in your head. It was quick, maybe five minutes, because you had to walk the dogs before going to work. You didn’t tell them you loved them, and maybe it was too late.

Luckily, Natasha wasn’t in the mood to converse as she led you down to Med Bay. Your mind was spiraling, and you were barely holding it together. “They look a lot worse than they are,” she warned you before opening the door. Honestly, you felt nothing. It was like a calmness washed over you. They lay motionless in the beds next to each other with wires connected to machines. You locked all your emotions into a small box and tucked it away. Because if you felt anything, you would break. Maybe Natasha was talking. Perhaps she explained the list of injuries that Bruce and Helen had to fix. It was all white noise to you. “Come find me if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay,” the door closed behind you. This world wasn’t normal to you. That the girls you loved with all your being put their lives on the line for strangers. It made no sense to you. You slumped in the chair between their beds and grabbed their hands. You hated how cold their hands felt; they usually would be so warm against yours. “Hi, my loves,” you whispered. “I’m here. I’m right here and not going anywhere.”

Natasha made sure you spent only some of your time by their side. You had to take breaks, and you were not in the position to say no to the Black Widow. So you took care of yourself because you knew Kate and Yelena would give you an earful if they found out otherwise. It was rare you were at the compound, so it was nice to get closer with the other members of the team. They helped keep your sanity as each day passed, and their condition was the same.

You were outside with Wanda, sitting on a picnic blanket and reading a book. Sometimes Lucky or Fanny would bring a ball over, and the witch would use her powers to throw it. “I’m jealous,” you told her. “My hand would be covered with drool.” Wanda laughed.

“How are you?” She asked. “Has Helen figured out why they haven’t woken up yet?” You shoved your bookmark into the spine of your book and closed it.

“I’m okay?” you questioned. There was this numbness that surrounded you. It felt unreal that they were hurt. With all the stories they told you, they seemed untouchable. “I just miss their hugs.” You missed a lot of things—their touch, the sound of their voice. Wanda smiled.

“They’ll come back to you,” she said. “It’s gross how much they talk about you.” You felt your body heat up but rolled your eyes. They always promised they would come home.

For the past few days, you slept in their bed. Now, it seemed lonely and cold. You walked down to the med bay and sat down in the chair. “I hope you know I will wait forever,” you whispered. “And I love your teammates, but it’s kind of lonely with you two. The world seems a little too quiet.” You felt a few tears finally fall down your cheeks. “Just come back to me whenever you are ready.”

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“Do you think we should wake her?” The voice was muffled.

“That can not be comfortable,” that was Kate. So, the first voice must have been Yelena’s. “We know she can be moody when she sleeps in a weird position.”

“Not moody,” you grumbled, but Kate was right. Your neck was already starting to hurt. You heard laughter.

“Are you sure about that, Princess?” Slowly, your eyes opened, and you blinked a few times to see your girlfriends awake. They were awake—alive and awake. Kate chuckled. “She has that same dazed look on her face like when we asked if she wanted to be our girlfriend,” you thought they were messing you up at first.

“You’re up,” you said. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah-” you didn’t give Yelena time to finish before flinging yourself at the Blonde. She grunted at the impact. The dam broke. The feeling of her heart beating against yours caused a sob to escape. “Sh, dorogoy, sh,” Yelena cooed and kissed your temple. “I know, I know.”

“Thought I’d lost you both,” you heard Kate climb out of bed and sit beside Yelena. Her hand rubbed circles on your back to help calm you down.

“We’ll always come back to you, sweetheart,” Kate said. “You are stuck with us. Forever.”

Forever. That sounded nice.

It was Maria’s and your job to make lunch while Natasha distracted the little ones outside. You decided on something simple: a ham and cheese sandwich, slices of watermelon, and chips. It was also a meal that could make you nauseous. “Yelena told Natasha you were getting another dog,” Maria said while cutting into the watermelon. You groaned and threw your head back.

“I told her she could get another dog when she fully retires. I am not taking care of three dogs and three to two kids,” you wondered if Maria caught your mistake. She laughed.

“Have they said when they’ll be done?” You shook your head. They loved the lifestyle. You wondered if they loved it more than the family they had back here. You caused a lot of fights. But you couldn’t dwell on it or answer Maria’s question; you heard the distinct sound of Olivia’s squeals and hurried footsteps.

“Mommy! Mommy!” She ran into the back of your legs. “Auntie Nat said she would eat me,” you laughed.

“Oh yeah,” you said, continuing to make sandwiches. “Why is she going to eat you?”

“Because she’s hungry!” She answered like it was the most obvious thing. “And she said you were taking too long to make lunch,” that bitch! Maria laughed at her wife’s antics.

“Go tell Auntie Nat that if she eats you, she won’t get any lunch.”

“Okay! I love you!” She cheered and ran back outside. You shook your head, smiling fondly. You loved your little family and couldn’t wait to add to it.

You always wanted to be a mother and experience the feeling of bringing life into the world. Maybe it was your good relationship with your mother before she passed. However, you were scared to bring it up to your girlfriends. Their relationship with their own mother was complicated; one was in jail because she was working with the tracksuit Mafia, while the other was responsible for controlling her and other Black Widows. So, it was a little complicated.

You wanted to bring it up to them, and if they hated the idea, you would make peace with that. Yelena put the finishing touches on dinner while you poured some wine and set the table. You were going to ask them tonight. Someone brought in a baby at work today, and your mind began to create fantasies of Yelena and Kate with their children. You knew they would get mothers with how they interacted with the Barton kids, and Morgan made your ovaries explode.

“Princess,” you felt Kate’s arms around your waist. “Where did you go just now? I’ve been calling your name.”

“Sorry,” you smiled. “Long day at work.” She kissed your neck.

“You know you could always quit,” you rolled your eyes and pulled away from her embrace. You grabbed two glasses. “You’d make a sexy housewife,” you chuckled.

“You’d have to make me your wife first, Bishop,” you sent a wink over your shoulder and walked over to the table. If they knew you were distracted, they didn’t bring it up. They talked about their day and filled in the empty silence. You felt Yelena’s hand on your thigh, feeling the cool metal of her rings on your skin.

“Alright,” the Blonde said. “What’s going on?” You sighed and swirled the wine around in your glass.

“Do you guys want kids?” Yelena’s hands tightened her hold on your thigh. “If you don’t, that’s fine. I will completely respect that, but I’ve been wondering and thinking and-”

“Princess,” Kate cut you off. “Breathe,” you nodded, and you felt Yelena’s thumb dig into your skin to help you calm down. “Do you want kids?” She asked when you calmed down slightly.

“I want whatever you want,” Yelena said, shaking her head.

“That’s not what she asked, detka,” you sighed and leaned back. You placed your hand on top of Yelena’s.

“I love the life we have right now,” you admitted. “But I’ve always seen myself as a mom,” you glanced at the dogs who were eating their own dinner. “To children who walk on two legs instead of four,” your joke got a laugh out of two girlfriends. The two heroes looked at each other; they could always talk to each other without using words.

“We’ve been wondering when you’d bring it up,” Kate smiled.

“You are not very subtle when you watch us with the Barton kids,” your face flushed at Yelena’s teasing tone.

“Answer mine,” you whispered. “Do you guys want kids?” Kate took your free hand and played with the ring on your finger.

“I think we are ready to expand our family,” you looked at the archer and then at the Blonde, who nodded.

“I need to hear you say it, dorogoy.” Your Russian wasn’t good, but you loved the smile on Yelena’s face when you tried to speak it.

“I would love to start a family with you two.”

You decided to carry since it was impossible for Yelena, and Kate was actively training and going on missions. For the first try, you agreed to use Kate’s eggs and a sperm donor who matched Yelena’s features. The hardest part was keeping it from your friends and family. You went to a private doctor in the city. Each day during the process, you became more and more grateful for Yelena and Kate.

In the first round, you had your hopes up, and it broke your heart when you got your period. The second round hurt, but it didn’t sting as much as the first one. Yelena and Kate were tempted to call it off by the third attempt. They sat the emotional toll it was taking on you. You blamed yourself. You were the problem on why you couldn’t get pregnant. You asked for one more try.

It was Wednesday. Yelena met with Sonya, and Kate had lunch with Fanny and Greer. You were walking home after your manager told you to take a half day. All day, you felt off, like a nagging voice was in the back of your head. It made you second-guess everything. Luckily, your boss knew what you were going and allowed you to go home. Before you entered the apartment, you stopped at the corner store and bought two pregnancy tests.

The dogs greeted you when you came home and sniffed the brown bag to see if you had anything for them. You apologized and promised to get them something next time you went out. Walking into the bathroom, your stomach twisted with anxiety and fear. Should you have waited for Yelena and Kate? What if it was positive? Or worse, negative. Your heart couldn’t take it. Still, that uneasy feeling crawled in your stomach. So you opened both boxes and read the instructions. It was easy: pee on a stick, place on a flat surface, and wait 5 minutes. Easy. When you were done, you placed them on the counter and washed your hands.

It was a mistake to take them. You were being silly and dramatic. As you were about to throw away the tests, you heard the front door open, followed by the dogs greeting your partners. “Princess?” Kate called out. ��Are you home?” You thought about staying quiet, but you left your bag downstairs.

“Bathroom,” you said. “Upstairs.” You closed the door and leaned on the wooden door, keeping the results locked away. You heard the footsteps of both Yelena and Kate as they walked up the stairs and into the bedroom. “Hi,” you forced a smile, but they looked at you with concern.

“What’s wrong, data?” Yelena asked. You sighed.

“I got sent home because I wasn’t feeling right, and I stopped at the corner store to get two pregnancy tests,” their eyes widened.

“What did the test say?” Kate asked. You shrugged.

“I panicked and left them on the counter,” Yelena chuckled. “Don’t laugh at me,” you frowned. The Blonde took your hand and led you to the bed.

“I’m not laughing at you,” Yelena reassured you with a kiss. “Tell us why you panicked.” Kate knelt in front of you.

“If it’s negative, I don’t think my heart can take it,” you sighed. “I want this to work so bad, but what if it’s me? Maybe I’m the problem,” the archer shook her head.

“This is not your fault,” she said. “We knew this was going to be difficult.” Yes, you knew it would be challenging, but it felt impossible.

“I just want to give you both a family,” you felt tears form in your eyes. Yelena pushed your head down on her shoulder and kissed your head.

“We are a family, baby. You, me, and Kate.”

“And Fanny and Lucky. We can’t forget our favorite troublemakers,” Kate teased. You smiled and whipped away your tears. “Do you want me to go check the tests?” You hesitated but nodded. You were too anxious to move, but also you felt very comfortable against Yelena. Kate stood up and kissed you softly. “No matter what it says. We love you,”

“Love you too,” you whispered and watched Kate enter the bathroom. Yelena played with the hair at the base of your neck and hummed a simple tone. It was soothing, and you slumped into her. For the first time all day, you felt that nagging presence disappear. It was impossible for you to notice it with Yelena so close to you.

“Do you think she got lost?” Yelena mumbled in your ear. You giggled and slapped her softly on her leg. Finally, Kate came out with the tests in her hand.

“Positive,” she said. You stood up quickly, looking at the tests in her hand. She was right. Both read positive.

“I’m pregnant,” you said in disbelief. Suddenly, you were engulfed in the arms of your girlfriends. You felt their tears on your skin. You were going to be a mom. Finally.

“Thank you for stopping by,” you said and hugged Natasha. “I appreciate the distraction.” You separated from the redhead and watched Maria strap in their very sleepy kids in the car. Carefully, she closed the car door and joined you and her wife on the front steps.

“So, when are you going to tell them?” You titled your head at Maria’s question.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” you said. Natasha rolled her eyes.

“You do realize you are trying to lie to two former Avengers,” you rolled your eyes. You managed to keep your first pregnancy a secret from them. You wondered if they were still a little bitter about that.

“When they get home,” you gave in. “I took the test two nights ago,” Maria was the first to pull you into a hug, carefully, and whispered congratulations into your ear. Once Maria was one, Natasha took her wife’s spot.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “For loving her and giving her a family.” You felt overcome with emotions, so all you could do was nod. You watched the couple get into their car and leave. Walking back into your house, Evan and Olivia were asleep on the couch. You loved it when they came over because they made nap time easier. Carefully, you picked up Olivia and Evan and carried them into their room.

What Natasha said to you wasn’t the first time she’s said it. The first time was when you told her about your pregnancy. The second was when she met her niece and nephew. Then at the wedding and now again. Still, it made you emotional.

You felt honored to love Yelena and be loved by her. It was your greatest accomplishment.

Yelena and Kate were more nervous than you as you lay on the medical bed waiting for the doctor. “I love you both,” you started. But you need to calm down, or you will go wait in the waiting room.”

“Sorry, Princess,” Kate kissed your forehead. Yelena’s leg was still shaking as the doctor came in to perform the ultrasound. It was a big day, so you understood where the anxiety was coming from. It would be your first time seeing your son and/or daughter.

“Alright, are you ready?” The doctor asked. With your consent, she lifted your shirt and put the cold gel on your skin. You shivered, which caused Kate to laugh at you. You glared at the archer. “Looks like we have a healthy baby,” she showed you and your girlfriends that was developing.

“It looks like a little alien,” Kate commented. Yelena scuffed, hitting the archer on the arm.

“Do not call your son or daughter an alien,” you smiled at the Black Widow.

“That leads me to the next question: do you want to know the genders, or will it be a surprise?” You planned on having a gender reveal party planned by Laura once you told her. Wait. Pause. Genders?

“Genders?” You questioned. The doctor smiled.

“Congratulations,” she smiled. “You are pregnant with twins.” Twins. Twins?! You weren’t having one baby but two. The doctor explained that twins were common throughout the IVF process and that you looked at your partners to see their reactions. The news shocked them, but you could see the excitement and relief on their faces. You were healthy. The babies were healthy. That was what mattered to them.

Keeping a secret was hard, especially one as big as this. Since Clint was fully retired, you saw the man less than Natasha and Maria. However, the Bartons liked to take trips to the city, which resulted in big family dinners. This time, Natasha and Maria were hosting. You walked up the front steps with a salad in your arms. “Are you excited?” Kate asked.

“Nervous,” you said. You were going to tell all of them today. It wasn’t going to be a big deal. Yelena was going to tell her sister and Maria, Kate had Clint, and you would tell Laura.

“We have to do it as soon as possible,” Yelena rang the doorbell. “Natasha already suspects something.” She was a Black Widow; that was not surprising. Nathaniel opened the door and hugged Kate and Yelena tight. You were in charge of the salad, which was tactical. The youngest Barton liked to show his affection with tight hugs, and your girlfriends were highly protective of you. You ruffled the boy’s hair and walked into the house.

Laura was in the kitchen while Clint, Natasha, and Maria prepared drinks at the bar. “Good luck,” Kate mumbled and kissed your temple. Your girlfriends said hello to Laura before joining the others. You placed the salad in the fridge.

“How can I help?” You asked.

“Can you measure out some flour and grab the baking soda?” Laura smiled. You nodded and got the ingredients she requested. You worked in silence, but your eyes kept glancing at your girlfriends. Kate gave you a thumbs-up.

“So, I was wondering if you have any leftover baby stuff?” You asked as you mixed up the dry ingredients. Laura thought for a moment, held tilted to the side.

“I’m not sure,” she said. “We may have donated a bunch. Is your job doing a donation?” You smiled and shook your head.

“No, I was asking for us,” you shrugged. Laura froze while mixing the wet ingredients with the dry as if her brain was trying to piece together what you said. Before she could say anything, you heard footsteps rushing over to you.

“You’re pregnant?” Natasha questioned. You nodded. It surprised you when the redhead pulled you into her arms and hugged you. “I can’t believe you kept it from me, you bitch.” You laughed at her comment.

“Careful, sestra,” Yelena warned. You rolled your eyes at her protective nature. “She’s got two in there.”

“Twins?!” Laura exclaimed.

“Twins,” you repeated. The day was filled with congratulations, celebrations, and so much love.

Sighing, you stood in the kitchen with the refrigerator door open. You were hungry, but you had no idea what you wanted. The twins wanted the strangest combination of foods. Kate and Yelena were saints through it all - the morning sickness, the odd late-night cravings that required them to leave bed and go to the store. “Oh,” you touched your stomach as you felt a kick. “Well, hello there,” you smiled. “I was wondering when I would start feeling you.” It was the part you were the most excited about feeling your little ones. It made it feel so real. However, seeing some of the videos of hand prints on people’s stomachs did scare you.

“Princess, who are you talking to?” Kate asked, walking downstairs.

“Come here,” you held your hand and closed the fridge. You took Kate’s hand and placed it on your stomach. “Just wait,” you smiled. It took a second, but soon, you felt a kick. Kate’s face lit up in surprise.

“Is that-” You nodded. “That is so weird,” you chuckled, and another kick. “I think they like the sound of your voice.”

“Maybe they like yours,” her eyes went to yours, then to your stomach.

“Hi, little ones,” Kate whispered. I’m your mum.” You smiled and blamed the pregnancy hormones when tears ran down your cheeks. I’m so excited to meet you and teach you how to hold a bow and arrow. Don’t cause your mom too much pain, okay?” You put your arms around her neck and pulled her into a hug.

“You are going to be a great mom,” you said. She hugged you back.

“So are you.”

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“Lena,” you called for the Blonde. You wanted to go for a walk, but you needed help putting on your shoes. “Yelena,” you said again. Kate was meeting with America at the Sanctum with Stephen. So it was you, Yelena, and the pups. The Blonde was upstairs preparing the room for the twins. The plan was to stay in the apartment until the twined turned one. Looking for a new home while pregnant and preparing for newborns was tiring. Sighing, you stood up and walked up the stairs—one hand on your belly and the other on the railing. You found Yelena on the floor of the twin’s room. She was midway through building a rocking chair. However, she was flipping through one of the parenting books she bought when the doctor confirmed you were pregnant.

She was lost in her own world, unaware that you were standing in the doorway. You let her sit there, but she stared at the same page for a few minutes. You made your presence known. “Baby,” she finally looked up.

“Dorogoy,” Yelena stood up and rushed over to you, her hands resting on your stomach. “Are you okay? Is it the babies?” You shook your head. You looked at your girlfriend, taking her face gently in your hands. There were dark bags underneath her eyes. How long has she been struggling, and you missed it?

“I’m fine,” you said. “What’s wrong, baby?” Yelena hesitated.

“Nothing,” she lied. You frowned and brought her into your arms for a hug. Her body was tense against yours, but soon she slumped into you.

“Tell me what’s going through that pretty head of yours,” you softly spoke. Yelena stayed quiet but it was okay. You would hold her as long as she needed, even if your back started to hurt. Finally, she mumbled something you missed. “What?” You questioned. She repeated herself, but still, it was hard for you to hear. “Baby, I can’t help if I can’t hear you,” you pulled away from you.

“What if I’m not good enough to be a mom?” She asked. Your heart broke. “I have done many bad things,” you knew some of those ‘bad’ things. You never saw them as bad. She was forced to be a pawn, and she was trying so hard to remove all the red. “What if I hurt them? I can not -” she shook her head. You felt the twin’s kick. They could sense Yelena’s emotions. You took her hand and placed it on your stomach.

“They are causing quite a commotion in there,” you smiled. “I think they can sense their mama is upset.” Yelena laughed, tears freely running down her cheeks. She kept her hands on your stomach.

“I love them so much already,” she admitted.

“I know you do,” Almost every night, Yelena would rest her head on your stomach and speak Russian to them. It was your favorite part of each day. She made sure to make meals that were safe for you. Whenever you needed a message, Yelena was the first to volunteer. “You take such great care of me and the babies, Lena. You are going to be a great mom,” she opened her mouth to argue, but you shook her head. “You deserve this life. You deserve to have a family and to be happy,” you wiped away her tears. “I know you will protect and love these troublemakers with your entire heart.”

“What if I mess up?”

“Then you mess up, but we will mess up together,” you kissed her softly. “Now, my back hurts. Do you think I can get a message?” Yelena chuckled, a smile finally on her face.

“Your wish is my command, my love.”

Delays were par for the course. At the beginning of the relationship, dates were missed or had to be rescheduled. You spent nights worrying sick because the mission took longer. When you received a text from Yelena that they were going to be home late, you understood, but it broke Olivia and Evan’s hearts. It was why you caved when they asked to stay up late after dinner to watch a movie. They lasted halfway through Frozen 2, and you were quick to follow them to sleep.

You woke up to your kids being moved, and you immediately grabbed them. “Easy, Princess,” it took a moment for your sleep-induced brain to see Yelena holding Olivia. “It’s just us.”

“You’re home,” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes. Kate smiled, and you couldn’t help but fall more in love with her.

“Go to bed, baby,” Yelena said. “We’ll put the little ones to bed.” You nodded and kissed your kids before heading to your room. You sat at the foot of your bed and waited for them, stretching your neck. Sleeping on the couch always put a strain on your neck. Yelena was the first in the bedroom. Her hair was wet, and she wore one of Kate’s tracksuits. They must have stopped at the compound before heading over here. “I missed you,” she admitted and kissed you softly. Kissing Yelena was your favorite. It was hard for the Black Widow to vocalize her feelings, but the way she kissed you said enough.

“I missed you too,” you smiled. “Are there any injuries?” She shook her head. “Promise?” she twirled around in a circle. You saw nothing, but she looked tired. “Do you want me to braid your hair, or do you want to go to bed?”

“Can you braid it? Kate is not good at it,” you smiled and nodded. She went into the bathroom to grab the supplies you needed. Kate came in while she was there. Before you could ask if she was okay, she kissed you. Kate was always an aggressive kisser when she came home. It took your breath away.

“Hi, baby girl,” she said. You smiled.

“Hi, Katie,” the archer rolled her eyes. The Black Widow came out of the bathroom with a hair brush and a ponytail. You moved to the center of the bed so she could sit before you. Kate kissed Yelena before going into the bathroom herself. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” You asked, sitting up on your knees and beginning to brush her hair. She hummed.

“Tired,” she whispered. “And I missed you and the twins,.” You wanted to say you missed her too ,and the twins were heartbroken when they were delayed. But that wasn’t going to help.

“Your sister and Maria came over,” you told her. “Someone told them we are getting another dog,” you chuckled as Yelena tensed up.

“I do not know who told them that,” she said. “Maybe it was Livie,” but it probably was Olivia. You knew she would join your wife’s agenda no matter what it was. You kissed her cheek and finished the braid.

“Princess,” you looked at Kate, and your eyes looked at the pregnancy test in her hands. “Is this real?” You wanted to say you would never joke about a positive pregnancy test after the hell you went through the first time, but you nodded.

“I took the test two days ago,” you said. Kate’s blue eyes filled with tears. Yelena stood up and took the test from Kate’s hand.

“It worked?” Yelena’s voice cracked. You nodded.

“Much easier than the first time,” your vision began to blur with your own tears. The Blonde moved to hug you, and you felt her tears against your skin.

“We are getting a new four-leg child and one with two,” she said. You pulled away from her.

“Yelena Belova,” you sternly said. “I told you we are not getting a third dog until you fully retire. I am not taking care of three dogs and three kids by myself.”

“Could be twins,” Kate said, laying behind you in bed. She placed her on your stomach underneath your shirt. Goosebumps form on your skin. You loved the feeling of Kate’s hands, warm and calloused.

“If you knocked me up with twins again, I might divorce both of you,” you teased and rested your body on Kate, melting against hers. Yelena crossed her legs and took your hand. She looked lost in thought. You squeezed her hand, and she looked at you.

“This was our last mission,” she told you. “We are missing too much here, and I do not want to fight anymore.” You were proud of how well you kept your excitement masked. Part of you believed that the only thing that was going to stop Yelena and Kate from going on mission was an injury or maybe even their death. But she was right. She deserved it. They both did.

“I guess I can make room for both of you,” your body shook from Kate’s laughter. The Blonde rolled her eyes and laid her head on your stomach. She kissed it and mumbled something in Russian. You glanced at Kate over your shoulder, and she smiled fondly at the Blonde.

“I love you both,” she said.

“Love you too,” you weren’t expecting a response from Yelena as she was fast asleep, a protective hold on your stomach.

Sometime in the future

Soft kisses on your shoulder drew you out of sleep. You tried to ignore it, but your lips traveled up your neck. “I know you are up, Princess,” you felt Kate’s breath against your neck. “We have a busy Saturday morning. Lena is starting breakfast.” You groaned and burrowed your face deeper into the pillow.

“I wouldn’t be so tired if someone wasn’t so needy last night.”

“If I remember correctly, you weren’t complaining,” you heard the smirk in her voice. You rolled your eyes and climbed out of bed, stretching your hands above your head. You felt her eyes gaze over your naked body.

“Can you keep your hands to yourself if we shower together?” It was the fastest you’ve seen her get out of bed.

“I thought I was going to have to call the Coast Guard,” Yelena teased as you entered the kitchen. You kissed her cheek.

“Don’t be jealous,” you pinched her back, and she yelped. “So,” you poured yourself a cup of coffee. “What’s the plan of attack?” You asked. Saturdays were always busy in your house. With five kids, four dogs, and a cat, it seemed everyone needed to be somewhere. Soccer bags needed to be packed, paint brushes to be washed, and pointe shoes needed new ribbons.

It was hectic, and sometimes you felt like you were pulled in a hundred and one directions, but you had your wives by your side to help. “Are you listening?” Yelena smiled.

“Yes,” you lied. She gave you a pointed look, which you ignored, and wrapped your arms around her waist.

“Incoming!” You heard Kate yell, followed by your three oldest running down the stairs. This was normal. Your home was loud, crazy, and chaotic but full of love. You burrowed your face in the crook of Yelena’s neck and kissed the skin you could reach.

“Thank you,” you whispered against her. “Thank you for loving me and giving me a family.”

#yelena belova x reader #kate bishop x reader #yelena belova x you #kate bishop x you #yelena belova x kate bishop x reader #kate bishop x yelena belova #yelena belova x kate bishop #kate bishop x yelena belova x reader #kate bishop #yelena belova

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adverbally · 1 month

Text

Stunned By the Whiplash

———

When Steve wakes up in the emergency room at Hawkins Memorial, Eddie is nowhere to be found.

He blinks into awareness slowly, noting the empty chair at his bedside before he begins taking stock of how he feels. First and foremost, he is no longer upside down. Thank God. His chest still hurts, though he’s breathing easier. His neck is a little sore and his headache is almost gone. He’s in a curtained-off bed in the corner of the ER, so he must not be doing too badly.

Despite these positive signs, Eddie’s absence is glaring. He must have been successful in getting help, at least. Maybe he just hadn’t made it back to the car before emergency services, or maybe they wouldn’t let him ride in the ambulance. The part of Steve’s brain that tends to catastrophize wants to panic but it feels very far away. They must have given him some good medication.

It makes him sleepy, too, so he dozes for a few minutes before the grating noise of metal wakes him again.

Eddie looks exhausted as he pulls the curtain shut behind him with a wince at the sound of the rings scraping through the track. He has butterfly bandages over a couple of the deeper cuts on his forehead and cheek, but there are no other signs of injury. Steve is almost lightheaded with relief at the sight of him.

“Where were you?” Steve croaks.

Eddie jumps a little. When he realizes Steve is awake and talking to him, he looks instantly lighter, like the weight of worry has been lifted from him. “Payphones,” he explains. “Wayne’s shift finished a little while ago and I thought he would want to know why I wasn’t home.”

“Oh.” Just like that, it’s easy to relax back into the bed and forget what he was even worried about. Especially when Eddie comes to sit next to him and brushes his hair away from his forehead.

“How are you feeling?”

Steve shrugs. “Okay, I think? My chest still hurts when I breathe too deep.”

“If that’s your biggest complaint, I think we got off pretty easy.” Eddie leans back in his seat. The dark circles under his eyes are exaggerated by the harsh lights overhead.

Steve feels a stab of remorse for being the source of his fatigue. He reaches out, wiggling his fingers insistently until Eddie takes hold of his hand. “I’m sorry,” Steve tells him sincerely.

“It’s not like you did it on purpose,” Eddie chastises. “It was an accident, don’t apologize for that.” He presses a kiss to Steve’s knuckles.

“Still sorry I scared you.”

Eddie lets out a long sigh. “I’m just glad you’re okay. We were lucky that your lung didn’t collapse. Apparently that can happen with broken ribs? The doctor didn’t think you needed to be admitted, but she wanted to wait for you to wake up so they could make sure you don’t have brain damage.”

Steve raps his knuckles against the side of his head. “No more than usual.”

Eddie doesn’t laugh. His face is completely blank as he stares up at the ceiling tiles and fluorescent lights. “You know, I had to wait for them to get there? It felt like forever. I was trying to talk to you and you weren’t responding.” He bites his lip. “Then I stood there and watched them cut you out of your seat belt. You were, like, completely limp, no reaction at all, even when they bumped your ribs against the edge of the door.”

Understanding sinks like a stone in Steve’s stomach.

Eddie continues, “For about fifteen minutes, I was sure you were dead. I was already thinking about how to tell Robin and the kids, your parents…” He runs a hand over his face as he trails off with a shaky breath.

“Eddie, I’m so–”

“No, I’m not trying to make you feel bad, o-or, like, make it about me, I get the whole ‘dark humor as a coping mechanism’ thing. But I can’t joke about it yet.” When he looks back to Steve, his eyes are wet.

Steve squeezes his hand. “Okay, then. No jokes.” Like how Eddie doesn’t joke about the lights flickering or make fun of him for not using the pool in his backyard. It’s no sacrifice to make sure Eddie

“Thanks.” Eddie sniffs. “Now hit your call button so the doctor can check you out and we can get out of here.”

“In a sec.” Steve uses his grip on Eddie to pull them closer together until they meet in the middle and Steve can kiss him. It’s just a chaste press of lips, since they’re in public and neither of them is feeling up to anything more strenuous, but it lingers. Eddie’s other hand is on his jaw and they’re both okay. It settles something in Steve’s chest that has been uneasy since he woke up.

Steve pulls away when the strain on his ribs is too much to ignore. Eddie looks more relaxed already; he needed that moment, too. “Okay, I’m good now,” Steve announces.

“Okay.” Eddie’s smile is small but genuine.

———

Thanks to those of you who encouraged me to write this follow up to I’m a Victim of a Bad Crash!

@grtwdsmwhr @alwaysurvalentine @flustratedcas @shesnotthatserious @novacorpsrecruit

#steddieangstyaugust #steddie #steddie fic #steve x eddie #steve/eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #mine

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bluecollarmcandtf · 5 months

Text

Cash Slave, reporting in...

Good morning, master. State Trooper Hernandez reporting!

I hope you're doing well since the last time we saw each other. Again, I can't apologize enough for pulling you over on the highway. I had no idea you were such an amazing hypnotist. Thank you again for letting me get off easy and only making me taze myself twice! I was paralyzed in that muddy ditch for awhile, but you could've given me a helluva worse punishment!

Your instructions aren't negotiable, so I made sure to snap a photo before I started my shift today. As you suggested, I've been eating a box of donuts every morning, and I've packed on a hefty 30 lbs since I've started. My wife has complained, but I know you want me to look more like a cliche of law enforcement!

I'll stop by your house to drop off my paycheck tonight after work. I won't forget to pick up some pizza for you and your friends on the way: extra sausage, just like you said!

See you tonight, master!

Hello sir.

It's been a week since you came into my shop, and I've followed everything you said. I didn't agree with it at first, but you convinced me with that little pendant.

You were right! I really am beneath powerful men like you. Filthy blue-collar workers aren't worthy to lick the dirt off your shoes. You were right to point that out, and you were right to tell me to embrace it. When the world looks at me, they shouldn't see a man. They should see a grease monkey at the bottom of society.

That's why I haven't showered or changed in seven days. My BO is uncomfortable to work in, but I know it's just a reminder of what I am. I used to be proud of my job. Ha! I used to look down on suits like you, but I'm nothing in comparison; just a tool at your disposal.

Anyways, I cleaned and waxed your old car as fast as I could. I know I lent you my convertible, but you're welcome to keep it. I put a lot of sweat and blood in fixing her up, but like you said, fancy cars are meant for you to drive and me to maintain.

Stop back in my garage anytime. White-collar men like you get free service here! It's not the place of any lowly laborer to get in the way of what you want.

Thank you again, sir.

Hello boss.

Just started another long day of window washing! It's another hot one, but I'll keep my head down and sweat through it like usual.

I've gotta say, it's days like this that make me miss the comforts of my old corporate desk job. I'd kill for some AC right now, but I remember how much you made me realize I hated that career. Like you said, I'm much better suited to a life of mindless cleaning.

It turns out you're the real one with a knack for business strategy because all of your advice has been genius! The income is dependent on the hours I put in, and since I'm working for half the price of all competitors, I've gotten a monopoly on the market! I've fully booked all seven days for the next five or so weeks, so I'll be washing windows non-stop!

The business is already booming! I've been billing customers to your bank account, so you should already see all the profit in there!

Later today, I'll make a note of the minimum I need to replenish the cleaning supplies I'm running through. I'd also be grateful if you loaned me a bit for personal use, but it's understandable if you can't spare any! We agreed that I wasn't working for a salary, and I'm fine with that! I've been sleeping in the company van the last few weeks and it's more than good enough for me!

Don't worry, boss. I'll get back to work!

Tell my wife hello for me, master!

Working on a rig has been isolating. The job is brutal, the days are long, and every night I head back to our bunks covered in oil. I thought I'd at least get to bond with the other guys, but most of us are too tired to do anything but eat and sleep after our shift.

The only thing that's getting me through it is thinking about you. I know I also have a girl at home, but you were the one that gave my life purpose. I was never going to make money as an actor, and you helped me see that! You were the one that convinced me to go for this ridiculous job in the middle of the ocean, and now I'm making a ton of money!

You deserve it all.

I wouldn't have seen any of this cash if I hadn't stuck around after your stage hypnosis show. I still remember the wild look in your eyes when you came up with this idea for me. I also remember that hungry look you had when you saw my wife. It was impossible to say no.

Oh, and thanks for keeping my wife company while I'm gone. A man like you deserves her attention more than I do. Like you said, I doubt I was pleasing her to begin with. The only thing I'm good for is earning money, and I hope you're enjoying it because it sure isn't easy to earn!

I gotta get back, but I wanted to let you know that I signed up for another six months like you suggested. It's lonely, but I'm happy to do it, master!

Son, or should I still call you 'sir'?

I'm not sure if I your new title applies through text as well? Being your dad and your servant can be a bit confusing, but I don't mean disrespect you! Just let me know.

My workout is done and I'm headed back to your house. I signed the deed over to you this morning, so you officially own it now! Like usual, I'll clean the place from top to bottom. I've got all the mops and cleaning supplies in my van and ready to go. Since it's Friday, I'll start on the weekly yard work; mowing, weeding, etc... I don't want to bore you with the details, but it'll take the majority of the day to keep your place in tip top shape!

As I understand it, you are having friends over tonight, so I'll prepare a three course meal for eight. I ironed my apron this morning so I should look like a more presentable waiter than last night when I served your food!

As always, please let me know if there's any other way I can be of service today or tonight.

I'll be awaiting your return, sir.

Hey little bro,

I just finished my workout at the gym with dad. We're both hitting PRs and we're really starting to see some results! Still can't believe you hypnotized his dumb ass to think he's your butler! That man looks so stupid changing from gym clothes into a bowtie and gloves. He's constantly calling you 'sir' too, even when you're not around.

He's such an idiot.

Anyways, I'm all dressed and ready for my new job. You were totally right. I'm going to be so much happier as a clown instead of a wrestler. I'm about to head out to my first gig; a ten year old's birthday party. I think he's the kid of someone I used to compete with. It might be a little awkward, but it won't affect my routine. I've got an afternoon of pies in the face and self-deprecating humor ahead of me.

I made sure to tell the guy who hired me that I'm willing to stay after and clean up. Kids make a huge mess after all. I just hope he won't be too weird about me being a clown at his son's party. We may have been rivals in the past, but that was back when I wrestled. Now I'm just a joke for hire. He's technically my boss for the day, so I'll have to get used to taking orders from him.

Wish me luck, bro. I'll give you the money after the dad dismisses me. Let's hope I make a good clown!

#mind control #gay hypnosis #hypno story #gay ai art #hypnotized #servant

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304blur · 7 months

Text

"he'd be the type of guy to.." haikyuu edition ♡

notes: NOT proofread, i wrote rhis at 1:50am just some thoughts, all will be written with timeskip versions of them in mind. fem reader just cause also i chnaged title cuz it sidnt make sense LMAO

warning/s: NONE

genre: fluff

characters: hinata shoyo, kozume kenma, kageyama tobio, miya atsumu

hinata would be the type of guy to let your dates go unplanned (in a good way!!!) ypu guys get to do whatever you'd like, unrestrained. if you wanna go to a goodwill/thrift store and find cool items, he'd happily go with you. he'll also secretly get you some things that you stared at for too long. like those sparkly pink cowboy boots, a music box where instead of a ballerina spinning it's a middle finger, and a bikini that barely covers anything. then after buying those, you'd go in your car, and he'd hide them under the car seat, but the bikini's straps stick out from under the seat, and you go "what the fuck is that??" so he has no choice but to bring out the bag filled with the stuff you looked like you wanted, and surprised you early. do you want to go to an indoor volleyball court? hinata rented one just for the two of you to play. but you never got to play anything, you two are busy running around, playing hide and seek in the surprisingly large building. yes, for other people, things don't always go to plan. but for you two? you make the best out of unplanned surprises.

kenma would be the type of guy to really REALLY appreciate all of your pitiful efforts to pay him back for what he buys you. he loves, LOVES spoiling you, spending his CEO money on you is his love language. even though he acts a little nonchalant about it, he always loves seeing the smile on your face when he bought you something you've wanted for so long. but, you'd feel bad about what he's spending on you, and the effort he puts into working so hard 24/7, and going with you to the mall and buying you everything. so, you decide to repay him in different ways! like baking cookies that took you all day to bake but they taste bitter, but he still eats all of them in one sitting. you made him lots of origami flowers, he'd have it displayed in his room, without a single speck of dust landing on the paper, he knows that you feel guilty about him spending lots on you so you do these things, he keeps telling you that what he's spending on you isn't going to make a dent in his bank account, but you still wouldn't listen. (he secretly freaks out if you do things for him)

kageyama would be the type of guy to learn about anything you're into, and he'd teach you about what he's into in return. if you like a certain singer/band, and you love to quote a line from a song/an inside joke, he's going to be curious about it, and eventually, he'll start quoting it too, (at the start, he usually had trouble deciding whether or not the situation you're in would apply, but he's quoting that lyric/inside joke like he knows that band/singer better than you do.) he taught you volleyball, do you love spiking? he'd set for you, and you'd drive that ball home. do you prefer setting? he's gonna make you attend setter bootcamp, on god he's gonna turn into your coach instead of your boyfriend. you like blocking? he'd make sure he'd get his hits past your blocks, and of course tell you all sorts of positions you put your hands in if you want to change the trajectory of the ball, or completely shut it out. do you like recieving? he'll throw different types of serves your way so you'll learn how to recieve all of them perfectly. or if you'd love serving more, he'd be teaching you how to get service aces and eventually be better at serving than his team (according to him). he may be a pro volleyball player, but that doesn't mean he won't make time for you.

atsumu would be the type of guy to relax and pamper yourselves in his free time. despite his loud and rowdy personality, you and mr japanese barry b benson with a kansai accent, oftentimes go to spas, and get massages, facial treatments, all that good stuff. then he'd take you out to a hot spring after a major tournament is over, the steaming water helping to relax, and also give his skin some benefits too! after all, he's a volleyball player that has the looks of an idol, he has a face and body he has to maintain. if you guys don't want to go out, he'll look up recipes for diy mud masks to apply to eachothers faces, maybe even bringing out a stash of facemasks from his skincare mini frige and watch a movie together while waiting for the facemask to dry out. you're pretty lucky to have a skincare boyfriend, since you have never had a single skin problem ever since you started dating him. if there's an event you two will be attending, he'll prioritize the both of you looking and feeling fresh. you two would be the couple with the clearest skin in the room.

#haikyuu #haikyu x reader #miya atsumu #hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio #haikyu fluff #fanfic #kozume kenma #kenma x reader #hinata shoyo

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cookie-crumblr · 10 months

Text

The Smell of Smoke

Innocent F! Reader x M!Yandere Bully OC

Part 5~

His Info: 🖕✨

Part: 1 2 3 4 5 6

!!!MINORS DNI!!!

CW: !F reader, use of she/her when referring to reader, reader has a vagina, YANDERE, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, name calling (bitch, slut, whore, ), BULLY, plot part(some backstory) a spoiler for TC, SA NOT BY ML, NON-CON oral on ml, force feeding alcohol, fighting, blood mentioned

Thick black leather covers your neck. A little padlock hangs from the buckle.

What the fuck is going on?

Of course you’ll try an avoid him!

Did Ace even have to ask!?

Something thumps somewhere outside your cell.

You try to cover yourself, but they didn’t give you any clothes.

Half of the gang is gone at the moment in some sort of fight, you couldn’t overhear much about it though.

There’s no way in hell you’re trying to get away, your leg is still casted up and pretty badly burned.

A thin door somewhere opens and then closes outside of your room.

“Hey Ace!” A guy says as you hear a hand-to-hand *smack*!

“Sup dude!”

“What cha doin’ ere?”

“Here to pick her up,” Ace answers them as their footfalls come closer.

“Oh? Man sounds like fun. I missed her train the other day, but oh well, plenty of whores, guess.” He shrugs and unlocks the door for the fluffy pink haired guy.

He walks you out to the connected parking garage without a word from either of you till you get into the car.

“Are you gonna get in trouble for helping me?”

“With who? Ezra? Hah!!” he laughs in earnest. “No, he raised me! after his mom ki—” his face drops, then he steels himself, “No! ya know what! He revoked his right to have secretes.”

“Wait wait, he raised you? How’d you turn out like the way you are? and not…”

“I’m sure he looks evil… I mean he’s never been like this with anyone. An I won’t try to say it’s right...”

“Why’s he doing it then?”

“I’ve never seen him with a vendetta quite like this. to be honest, i don’t know” He takes a long strained sigh before pulling out of the garage. “N-not saying there’s anything you could have done that would justify any of this! it just feels very… reveng-y”

“Whatever… Anyway, what was that about secretes? sorry-side tangents” You shrug in your seat.

“His mother murdered my parents”

Harsh knocking shakes your door practically off its hinges.

looking out the peephole you see, it’s not Ezra, but it’s still unfortunately a couple members of his gang you think.

“Sup. Boss’s gone f’today, we’re here t’escort ya around, an all that.” They look at you hungrily, sweeping over your still very much damaged form.

“A-are you??” You ask skeptically. “I-I’m just gonna… Get ready! … then.”

You go to close the door, and one of them smacks it open wider with his fist.

You jump. “Wh-what the—!?”

“Yeah. He said yur paying us fur our services” They step closer and closer. One strokes your hair, the other grabs you and bends you over them.

They take you to your class, still dirty and disheveled, but you make it on time.

After class they don’t come to pick you up. Which you think is odd, but you don’t question it, feeling a lot better off without them.

At the end of the school day you’re hopping down the street, sticky and hot, trying to get home.

“Hey, slut, ya miss me?” You hear Ezra call out to you, something stirs deep within you…

You sigh out, there’s no way you’re getting away from him right now, being on crutches and all. You give him a weak, defeated smile.

“Get in.” he practically snarls at you.

You do, without any assistance. It hurts all over by the time you’re sitting.

“You reek! t’fuck happened t’ya!?”

Sheer embarrassment turns swiftly into tears bubbling in the bottom lids of your eyes. “You should know—It was y-your guys!”

“My guys?” his lip turns up in disgust.

“Yes! they c-came first thing in the morning, said they’d pr-protect me—” your sobbing a little from exacerbation, “Th-then they—”

“What’d they look like?” His voice sits completely level, but it’s much deeper now.

You explain their appearance as best as you remember. He pulls away from the curb as soon as you get half way through.

“They ain’t my guys.”

“Stay here.” Ezra jumps out of the car and rushes the front door. Your little heart is beating so loud and hard in your chest now. Somethings really, really wrong.

You scooch down lower in your chair.

One of the guys from earlier opens the door… You see Ezra immediately grab him and slam his face down into his knee.

The guy yells loud, blood pours from his nose.

Ezra throws him to the lawn and reaches into the darkened doorway to grab the second guy and throw him as well.

He stomps on him once before kicking him a few times in the ribs.

The other guy is still reeling on the ground.

Ezra leans down over the man now and punches him repeatedly in the head and face.

Finally standing, the first guy goes to pull Ezra off his friend. Ezra’s attention is now on him, there’s blood splattered on his face, and dripping onto his shirt.

You look away, shivering, and hold your ears, your eyes are wide.

You consider running, again forgetting your damn leg.

“F-Fuck!” You punch the door of the car.

It feels like hours later he comes back to the car, the bandages on his knuckles are torn and blood soaked.

“thanks f’tellin me” He slides a wet finger up your jaw.

He throws your face roughly, before undoing his pants and grabbing you again.

“Open up, bitch,” he shoves your head down and grinds into your face. You shake your head no, and clench your jaw. “If you don’t take this fucking cock into your whore mouth—”

“Okay! okay! okayy, please! just sto-opp” You sob and put your lips to his hot, spongey tip.

Heat spreads between your legs at a frustrating pace.

“Nah, nah, bitch, this ain’t it” he chuckles.

His hand digs into your scalp and grips tightly. He forces you all the way down his shaft, nose against his thigh once again.

Your throat contracts painfully as you try and breathe.

He keeps you there, giving and taking your air at his own whim all over again the entire way home.

Once there, you’re apparently too slow to grab your things, so he grabs your bag and helps you with your crutches.

Again he tries to speed ahead of you and he sighs in frustration when you still aren’t fast enough.

He comes back to sling you over his shoulder with one arm and your crutches in the other.

You cling to his shirt, scared of having anymore pain than you’re already in.

“Have you not taken any meds yet?” He opens the door to your dorm.

“I was going to when i got home…” You say, your voice is hoarse, and quiet.

He finds the meds in your bag, after forcing you to sit. He then goes to your fridge and finds some of your roommates boxed wine.

He pours some wine into his mouth and drops in a couple pills, then brings his lips down to yours and forced the alcohol into your mouth.

It rushes in so fast you’re forced to swallow! The alcohol tastes terrible and feels so hot as it goes down. You push him away after he makes sure you gulped everything down.

He takes the container of wine and sips more, before repeating the process with you.

His hand finds your mound with ease, and he starts to rub you through your panties as you swallow more of the hot fluid.

You’re dizzy and panting already and when you try and push him away now, it’s sluggish with no power, as if you’re dreaming.

A weird buzz fills your head, you think you must be cross eyed when he pulls away.

“Hah, you’re such a lightweight!” His words float into your mind, vision spinning and blurry.

You yelp as he slaps your cunt with the back of his hand.

He takes a large gulp of the wine, before picking you back up.

It hardly feels different than being on the bed, you’re rapidly spinning regardless of where in space you are.

You can’t help giggling as he takes your clothes off, he keeps brushing over ticklish spots everywhere! Everything feels so silly right now, even your ribs tickle as you try and breathe!

He puts you in the tub with some hot water.

You suddenly stop laughing though, while he’s holding your casted leg up out of the water for you… It’s a strangely sweet gesture from him.

“‘ll this help?” he’s looking away as if trying to be polite while he asks.

You wash as quickly as possible.

Ezra dries you off and carries you to bed. He sets you in his lap and holds your chin to face him. His lips tickle yours as he just barely touches them.

You’re still dizzy, and the world is still fuzzy, making it hard to think.

His kiss gets rougher as the seconds pass, eventually he’s biting you, and sinking his teeth into your shoulder, leaving dark bruises in his wake.

His hand finds your tit, he runs his fingers over your pert bud. His other moves to your sore scalp.

“I want to tear you apart, Y/N,” he whispers against your neck in a gruff, rumbling voice.

You can’t do anything but whine, “What-” He pulls your head back forcefully, it hurts your neck, and causes you to cough.

As he kisses you, his hand slowly glides up your chest to your throat, pressing traveling dents into you’re flesh all along the way. you moan into him.

“I can’t wait to fucking destroy you,”

Your head tilts back practically welcoming his touch on its own. You couldn’t fight to keep it upright against the alcohol combined with the spreading warmth.

“You‘re too numb for me righ’now.” He throws you aside, though he stays close to you in the bed. “I want you to feel everything I give you.”

#yandere oc #oc ezra #yandere male #yandere x reader #bully yandere #bully oc x reader #bully oc x you #yandere bully oc #bully x victim #yandere bully #bully x reader #bully oc #yandere #my fic #my writing #my oc

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captain-mj · 11 months

Note

Mob boss Ghost Waiter Soap Au

Soap gets a migraine at work while serving Ghost and goes to leave Ghost stops him because Soaps his favourite and is a little sus about why he’s leaving

Soap says he’s got a migraine and Ghost can either shoot him or let him go home either option would be preferable (migraines suck)

Ghost is smitten and kidnaps him (affectionate) to sleep it off in his soundproofed block out curtained room and king sized bed.

Ghosts mum used to get migraines so he knows how to help someone through them.

Hurt/comfort happy ending

I might be taking a bit of a step back from writing on here (less frequent writing but I'll answer questions/give hcs) for the next month, I'm going to be moving and trying my best to do a form of NaNoWriMo.

That being said, please still send me asks!! I'll do my best to do them!!

Ghost waited to be served. This restaurant was a personal favorite of his. Not because the food was particularly good, though it wasn't bad. It was because of his favorite waiter.

Johnny looked a tiny bit irritated to see Ghost. He walked over and stood over him. "What do you want?"

Ghost tilted his head. "That anyway to greet your favorite customer?"

Johnny sighed before plastering on a smile. There was a tension behind it, almost like a grimace. "Hey, Simon. How can I assist you today?"

Ghost tilted his head. "My usual is just fine. And a black coffee."

Johnny nodded and walked away, stumbling a tiny bit. He looked a bit pale as he came back to pour a cup of coffee for him.

Ghost watched him through his eyelashes. "Love, you alright?"

Johnny huffed at him. "I'm fine, sir. Don't worry." He accidentally spilled the coffee, hands shaking slightly. "Oh, I'm sorry." He grabbed napkins and started to fix the mess.

Ghost took it from him. "I got it. Don't worry about it, darling."

Johnny nodded and left.

A different waiter appeared to bring Ghost his food and he smiled. That fake customer service smile Ghost hated. He understood it was part of their job and he'd never judge them for it, but he hated it. A lot.

"Who are you?"

"Your waiter wasn't available to bring your order so I took over for you. I know he's your fa-"

"No. Why did he leave?"

The waiter was starting to get nervous, glancing at Ghost's hips like he had a gun on him. "I'm sorry, Mr. Ghost, sir. Soap wasn't feeling well and"

Ghost waved his hand and stood. He noticed Johnny walking past and perked up. He followed him quickly. "Johnny."

"Simon." Johnny whined, looking even more pale. "Please. I have a migraine. I know you like having me as your waiter, but I'm in no condition to work. And one day, I'm not going to be working here and where will you be? Huh?" He huffed at him.

Ghost shrugged. "Well, what's wrong?"

Johnny frowned. "Migraines. I get them sometimes. Now, please, sir, I'm le-"

Ghost put his arm around him, easily pulling him into his side. He lowered his voice to a hush. "Why didn't you say so, love?" He gently tugged him along. "I'll give you a ride."

Johnny relaxed immediately. "Oh, thank god. I did not want to handle the bus like this." He knew Ghost wouldn't hurt him. It would disrupt their Tuesday routine of Ghost coming in and seeing his favorite waiter. Perhaps, if he was a bit more clear headed, he'd think about the potential ramifications of being seen with a local mob boss who was known for being short tempered and dangerous. But for now, the idea of a car ride, hopefully with the ac on blast and no music.

Ghost helped him into the backseat of his car. Johnny expected him to get in the driver's seat, but instead he climbed in with him. Someone else started to drive.

Some very soft piano music, just loud enough to drown out the gentle roar of the engine, was playing and Johnny decided that was alright. He tried to stay sitting despite the pounding growing in his temples and behind his eyes.

Ghost reached over, being very slow with his movements. Instead of speaking, afraid his voice would be too loud, he simply led him to lay down with his head in Ghost's lap.

Johnny whined. "Simon."

"Shh, Johnny. I got you." Ghost gently ran his fingers through his hair before finding one of the pressure points he remembered helped his mom. With a great amount of care and love, Ghost dug his fingers in and started to rub in gentle circles.

Johnny whined and went to fight him back before the relief started to seep in and he melted. "Fuck that's good."

Ghost grinned. He started with an area right behind his temples and then towards the back of his head. Once he felt he couldn't do much more there, he moved further down to his shoulders, specifically the place between them. Johnny's eyes fluttered as his body fully relaxed.

The car drove in circles until Johnny fell asleep. Ghost wanted plausible deniability about not knowing where Johnny lived. He picked him up in a bridal carry and brought him inside.

His room had black out curtains with sound proofed walls anyway, so it made sense to bring Johnny to his room. He put him in his bed and sat in a chair nearby. After a bit of thought, he decided not to smoke. The smell might make it worse.

Ghost kept a mini fridge in his room that luckily had some water bottles in it. He'd just have to wait for Johnny to wake up.

Johnny looked so peaceful. A little lamb. He relaxed more and snuggled into the blankets, sleeping peacefully.

He only got about an hour before a flare up woke him up. Ghost watched him with great interest. Despite the black out curtains, there was just a sliver of light in the room where Ghost had left it a cracked. Just enough for him to be able to see.

Johnny looked up in confusion before seeing him. He had a little color back in his face.

Ghost stood up and started to get closer. Johnny scrambled back from him. As if Ghost would ever raise a hand to him.

Quietly, he got him a drink and grabbed him by his ankle, pulling him closer easily.

"Here ya go." He handed him the bottle, watching the realization and then the embarrassment on Johnny's face. "Fell asleep before I thought to grab your address. I didn't want to go through your stuff."

Johnny looked at him for a moment before laughing, almost immediately wincing when he did. "You did it on purpose. I know you did."

"That's the store you'll tell everyone."

Johnny nodded. "Yes, sir. You keep all your guest rooms this dark?"

"You're not in a guest room."

Johnny looked up. "Not expecting any favors right?" Ghost must've looked as affronted as he felt because Johnny smiled. "Nah. Of course not. You're a nice guy."

Ghost hummed. "Most definitely not that." He closed the minifridge and then fixed the curtain, plunging them in to complete darkness. "I can leave, if you'd feel more comfortable."

"Can you do the thing with your hands again?"

Ghost didn't answer in words, just went over to him and shifted them around. He got in the bed with him and started to massage him gently. "There you go. I got you."

Johnny melted into him like putty. "Thank you."

"Course. Maybe you could stay for dinner."

"You keep doing this and absolutely I can."

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #call of duty modern warfare ii #cod mw2 #ghostsoap #cod #soapghost #ghoap

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hellhoundvv · 11 months

Text

Hot, Wet, Sticky Sweet

Chapter one: She's got the peaches, He's got the cream

"Holy shit..."

It was all Eddie Munson could breathe out, his eyes widening at the unexpected display he pulls up to.

After carting around the Hellfire kids and driving out to the Hideout to play with Corroded Coffin the night before, he was in desperate need of filling up his van. The Indiana heat was brutal today, the end of summer deciding to go out in a fiery bang before fall.

The distorted waves coming off the broken up asphalt are a testament alone to that fact, along with the thin sheen of sweat sticking Eddie's black tank top to his back. Except now, there was a whole new reason to be sweating his ass off.

Unbeknownst to him, Hawkins High was running a local car wash at the largest gas station in the small town. At least 15 or so of his schoolmates were running the event, something about raising money for a fellow student who had been diagnosed with cancer.

All of the hottest girls in school, and some of the boys were out here today; dressed in such little amounts of clothing, it might as well have been a strip club.

None of the cheerleaders, or queen bees caught Eddie's attention no matter how typically fucking drop dead sexy they were. No, the girl his wide brown eyes lands on and can not be torn away from was one he barely knows.

He's definitely seen her around school before, a senior like him who transferred in just this year. Eddie knows next to nothing about her, other than she's one of the few kids in this Hick town that defies social convention.

The moment he laid eyes on her in his 3rd period home ec class, he was heart eyes to the extreme for her. Eddie wanted nothing more than to have an excuse to go up and talk to her, but her stoic, ice cold resting face always stopped him from approaching her. If she was a bitch then Eddie would have no way of charming her. So he stares at her from afar, hoping one day he would have the courage to talk to her.

Watching all her fellow students and their lines endlessly filling up with cars, while her lane was relatively empty, Eddie feels himself getting a little angry. He knows it's because she was not one of the conventionally attractive girls in their mini skirts and white tops raking in every man with a pulse and a car within a hundred foot radius.

This girl was what other people would say was "fat", but to Eddie she was just divine. He was half way to drooling seeing her in ripped fishnets under a modest pair of black shorts. Eddie huffs out a groan, as she lifts the hem of her soft gray AC/DC shirt that's been diy cropped. She was using the shirt to wipe away a bit of soapy water that had splashed onto her chin, and Eddie didn't have to have the wild imagination he possessed to envision the white, sudsy spray as something far more... erotic.

"Jesus..." Eddie mumbles, trying to catch his breath as he leans forward in his seat. This whole scene was definitely something straight out of one of his wildest fantasies.

Eddie chokes back a strangled sound, torn between filling up and rushing home to whack it off to that small glimpse of his fantasy girl, or seeing if he was brave enough to bite the bullet and request her services so he can see her even closer.

She was finishing up on a little old ladies car, shocking Eddie to the core as he sees her smiling at the woman. He's still too far away to really study the full wonder of her smiling face, but it doesn't stop his cheeks from warming a bit at the sight.

"Shit," Eddie mutters, as the old lady drives off, leaving the girls lane empty again. She immediately lets her smile fall, the same bored look on her face that Eddie usually notices her wearing.

Suddenly filled with a confidence he never knew existed, Eddie hits the gas. He could just go back home and take care of himself, sure. But there was something so enticing about the thought of being the only one receiving this girl's attention.

Eddie swallows nervously, making his way over to the lane, trying to look as confident as possible despite his trembling hands.

It's now or fucking never Munson, Eddie tells himself as he gently drives his shitty van up to the girls area. He nervously fiddles with the radio, turning his music down so as not to blast her ears off as she walks over.

He raps along with the drum solo using his fingers on the steering wheel, trying to appear nonchalant even as his throat goes dry the moment she's at his window.

The tap of her black nails on the glass pulls him out of his racing thoughts, and he starts to sputter curses under his breath as he frantically goes to roll down his window.

He's surprised to see her smiling up at him, her lipstick a blood red shade that just make her brown eyes even more alluring.

"Thanks for stopping by today, would you like windows only, or the full wash?"

She has her arms crossed under the heavy swell of her chest, and Eddie swallows the whimper crawling up his throat when he realizes she's most definitely not wearing a bra.

"Um... full wash?" Eddie breathes out, his eyes growing wide as the girl's ample cleavage fills his view. He quickly swallows, doing his best to avoid staring too blatantly, though his gaze keeps sneaking over to her chest.

She was even more cute up close, and Eddie was starting to feel like he would be content just sitting here and staring at her forever. But no, they were at the carwash, so he needs to snap out of it and focus!

"So, um, you think you can handle this junker?" He finds himself asking.

The girl sweeps her gaze over Eddie's large vehicle, her brows arching up into the soft curtain bangs framing her face. "I hope you don't mind being here for a bit, your car is probably the biggest one I'll wash all day."

God. Eddie doesn't want to see an innuendo where it shouldn't be, but he's so keyed up just from looking at her out here in such tantalizing clothes that he can't help himself.

He sputters, feels his face grow hot as his voice valiantly tries not to crack when he replies, "It's- it's not that big."

Her eyebrows raise even more, the hint of a smirk at the edge of her lips. "Really?" She drawls, and Eddie can feel his stomach twist at the way her tone drops lower, "because from where I'm standing, it looks very, very big to me."

That was it. Eddie realizes his mistake instantly, the teasing glitter in her eyes making him wish the ground would swallow him whole so she wouldn't have to see how pathetically aroused she was making him.

At her words, his cheeks flush further with a mix of embarrassment and desire. He clears his throat softly, his mind blanking in panic. "Um... I just mean... it's a van..."

"Well all the same, it's gonna take me a little longer to get your baby nice and clean. You can go and grab some stuff from the gas station, or wait here."

Eddie looks away for a moment, hating how fucking pervy he feels as he realizes how badly he wants to be there the whole time, catching any glimpse he possibly can to file away in the spank bank for later.

He's about to chicken out, just go grab some snacks he doesn't even want to leave her in peace to do her job, when her excited voice breaks him out of his spiral.

"Ride the Lightning, that's a fucking great album."

Eddie's eyes go wide as he looks between her and the cassette player still playing some good ole Metallica.

His head whips around towards the girl, his eyes widening in surprise that she recognized the song title. "You like Metallica?" Eddie asks incredulously, his jaw dropping open with excitement.

She was already one of the hottest girls he had ever had more than a two second conversation with, but now she's also revealing herself to be a metalhead? He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so infatuated by a person. And god the way she says "Ride the Lightning" in her soft, husky voice was driving him crazy.

"Oh yeah, big fan. I'm practically salivating for their next album to be released. And you bet my sweet ass I'm going to get tickets when they finally go on tour again."

She's leaning back on her heels as she continues to look up at Eddie. It's then that Eddie notices her chunky platform boots, and even with the added heel height, how short she was. Damn... now that was really fucking cute.

"Me too! I tried getting tickets for the last few tours, but I never had the money. But this time, I swear I'm going to be first in line."

He watches as she leans back on her heels, her shorts riding up her thighs as she does so. It's damn near impossible to concentrate while staring at her, and he can feel himself growing more and more anxious for the carwash to be over with. He wants her all to himself so he can get better acquainted.

"That's a fucking tragedy Eddie," the girl says, and for what it's worth she honestly looks like she feels bad that he had missed out. "Their last tour was life changing."

Eddie couldn't really focus on that, though, because his brain was too busy short circuiting over the fact that she actually knew his name.

"Life changing, huh?" Eddie breathes out, still trying to process how he had become so enamored with this stranger so quickly. At her words about the last tour, he feels a twinge of bitterness at the idea of possibly missing out on this next one.

He can't help but smile a little when she says his name, feeling an intense swell of happiness that she knew he existed. "So... Do you remember my name from home ec or..." Eddie trails off, his head spinning with questions. It was such a small class, he felt it was unlikely she would have noticed him otherwise.

"Well there's that, but you do realize you've got an infamous reputation at school right? You're always causing a scene in the cafeteria, so it's hard not to remember a guy like Eddie Munson."

He shrugs, trying to play it cool. "Well, I like to keep things interesting. Gotta give people something to talk about besides the cheerleaders." Eddie watches her draw invisible shapes on the rim of his car window with such sappy affection that he hopes she doesn’t notice.

"Well you definitely achieved that one, a lot of students have so many bizarre theories about you. I don't believe any of them of course, although I don't think I'd be too upset if you turned out to be a vessel for Satan like some of the more uptight kids like to say."

Eddie can feel a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, finding her comment hilarious. He also liked the fact that she had shut down any ideas about him being the devil's vessel. He couldn't help but lean back in his seat, finding her antics charming in the most peculiar way. He clears his throat softly. "I'm guessing you're not one of the kids who thinks I'm a badass criminal mastermind either?"

"You hang out with a bunch of freshmen who play Dungeons and Dragons with you every week in your club, so no, I don't think you're a criminal mastermind." She's teasing him, and Eddie feels the hot flush of embarrassment eat at him from her words. He was hoping that she didn't think he was lame because yeah... all of those things were true, no denying it.

"Well... yeah, but... I've got other hobbies too. And... and..." Eddie trails off, feeling his mind suddenly blank out in embarrassment. He was trying to paint himself as more of a well adjusted person, but the truth was, playing DnD with freshman kids was pretty much the highlight of his week. He didn't know what to do with himself when his plans were disrupted on dnd nights.

"It's alright Eddie, I'm not judging you. Well, maybe a little in a playful teasing way, but I'm not seriously making fun of you."

The girl shrugs, hoping she was able to explain herself well enough. "Sorry, sometimes I say things in a way that can seem kinda mean. I promise I'm only like, 60% bitch."

Eddie bursts out laughing, his cheeks burning as he lets himself enjoy her teasing. She was definitely not what he was expecting when he had rolled up to the carwash.

"I mean... that's okay, I... I'm not one hundred percent innocent and pure either. Though my bitch meter is probably about... eighty percent?" He gives her a mischievous smile, trying to tease her right back. Which is hard, when he's so focused on trying not to stare intently at her boobs.

The girl looks him over, a small smile hovering on her lips as she sorts through this whole interaction they've had. "I hate to break it to you Eddie, but I don't think your bitch-o-meter is as high as you think it is."

"Really, why do you say that?" He asks curiously. He was enjoying their banter, even if it was mildly embarrassing to have this girl know exactly how he was feeling. Still, the fact that she seemed to really like teasing him was working in his favor. He was hoping he would be given another opportunity for a flirty comment so he could reply with a good line instead of stumbling over his words.

"Because I've never seen a boy blush so much just from talking to a girl."

Eddie's face heats up again as her words register. She couldn't possibly know just how hard he was focusing on not looking at her skin-tight top and short shorts. But he knew she definitely caught on to how quickly she was making his face turn red.

"I'd hate to see what would have happened if you pulled up into Hannah Dawson's line--- you probably would have died the moment she leaned over your windshield, and you got a good view of her soapy chest in that little bikini she decided to wear." The girl emphasizes her words by jerking her chin in the direction of a girl washing a sleek corvette two cars down.

The girl's words cause another flash of heat to spread across Eddie's cheeks, but only for a moment. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He hadn't even remembered the names of the other girls out here, let alone what they were wearing. "Okay... you have my curiosity and my attention," he chuckles. "Tell me who else is driving me insane here, other than you."

Her smile falters a little, a closed off aura settling over her. But it's gone as soon as it appears, and she's forcing another smile for Eddie.

"Alright, enough chit chat. I need to get your car washed so the incredibly totally real long line I have doesn't have to wait any longer."

She's joking, but as Eddie looks into his rear view mirror, he sees that no other cars had pulled up to her lane, while all the others were bumper to bumper leading out to the streets.

"Right, right. I... do need to get my car washed." He clears his throat, the heat spreading across his cheeks again. This girl, she was just too cute. "So... I suppose I'll just wait here then. Let me know when you're done, yeah?"

"Yeah, relax and let me know if you need any areas scrubbed extra hard."

She lifts her wet, soapy sponge triumphantly with her words and Eddie is back to feeling like a love struck idiot over her silly antics. With that, she leans in and starts soaping up the sides of his van.

"I- uh... maybe you should scrub really... hard... all over... " Eddie mumbles under his breath, doing his best to not look like an idiot as the girl leans over the hood of his car to scrub it.

Despite his attempts at looking nonchalant, there was no way she couldn't notice how he was staring at her. So he leans back against the front seat, still feeling his face burn even as she works, but also having his interest piqued. He knew she knew, and that made it almost impossible for him to look away from her.

The girl starts with slow, long swipes, getting as much soap and water spread out for a light pre-wash. Her arms jiggle with the movement, a sight that Eddie knows a lot of boys would scoff at and mock. But Eddie can't help the heat that blooms in his belly with every movement of her soft, plump body. Her chest is swaying hypnotically, the rhythm of it making Eddie's head spin.

The moment she dips down to the bucket, the backs of her thighs and butt on full display as she wets her sponge, Eddie almost dies choking on his spit.

"F-fuck..." He manages to breathe out, the flickering heat in his belly growing. He can feel arousal and shame prickle up his spine.

She circles around Eddie's van to get at the back, and Eddie burns shamefully as he goes to adjust the rear view mirror so he can catch any glimpse he can of her. Her brows are drawn together in concentration, her pink tongue poking out of the side of her mouth as she works.

Eddie feels himself lick at his own lips, wondering how it would feel to have her tongue touch any part of him. There's no stopping how turned on he was now, the tightness in his pants making him ache. He takes a few shallow, shuddery breaths as the girl ducks out of sight, circling to the other side of his van.

She peaks in at him through the passenger side window, giving him a cute little wave before leaning on her tiptoes to get at the windshield. A strangled groan gets caught in Eddie's throat, cut off by how fast he clamps his jaw tight so as not to cream his pants.

There was no way Eddie wasn't having the filthiest wet dream at this point, because as he watches with wide, unblinking eyes, he sees her chest press flat against the glass of his windshield.

The round, plump outline of her tits smashing and rubbing against the clear surface with every rough scrub she makes, has Eddie physically drooling in more than one place.

All of Eddie's self control is going out the car window, his hands clinging to the front seat so tightly they almost turn white. The sight of her chest pressing against the glass makes him practically pant with arousal, and his entire body feels like a live wire.

Eddie's shaking fingers fiddle with the volume, turning it up just enough to cover up how hard he's breathing to keep from cumming in his pants.

He can still hear the occasional squeak of the girl's tits and her sponge rubbing vigorously on the glass, and it makes him start jiggling his leg out of pure anxious, horny energy. "Jesus H. Fucking Christ," Eddie grits out as his eyes flick back up to get another peak of her tits. The water must be cold, or she's getting stimulated from her activities, because her nipples were unmistakably hard.

The puffy outline of her nipples right in Eddie's direct line of sight is the nail in the Coffin of fighting off his erection. Now his cock was painfully hard, the seam of his pants digging into the wet head in a mix of pain and pleasure so sweet that Eddie has to white knuckle grip his thigh to keep himself grounded to reality.

Sweat is making Eddie's bangs stick to his forehead, the mix of having the AC off on this fucking miserably hot day and his arousal creating a shitty cocktail of Fuck Eddie Munson and his stupid Virgin Ass getting off on seeing a girl's tits so close.

Eddie wants nothing more than to zip down his pants fly for a little relief, because the pain is definitely not helping him stay cool.

"Mmm, fuck," Eddie exhales, allowing his hand to sneak surreptitiously down to palm his hot, hard length for even a fraction of relief. He hisses pleasantly at the touch, the tiny pressure from his palm makes his eyes flutter for a moment as he breathes hard through his nose.

The girl has finished with his windshield, and Eddie almost keens with disappointment when she pulls her lovely, big tits off of the glass. White, frothy soap covers the glass which makes Eddie bite his lip. His thoughts race with images of a different kind of white creamy substance splattered all over her pretty boobs, maybe even hitting her chin like that bit of soap did earlier.

A pathetic whimper sits in the back of Eddie's throat when his hips jerk up into his palm, unable to stop himself from how powerful the fantasy was affecting him.

He is taken out of his half imagined day dreams by the sound of water pounding on the metal of his van. The spray of a hose distorts the view out of his windshield, making Eddie groan in frustration at not being able to see her anymore. Until the thought hits him… if he can't see her, she probably couldn't see him either.

Guilt churns in his guts, but the hot, hard length of his cock is making his head fuzzy enough to not think straight. Eddie hates himself, but he gives in.

The first rut of his hips brings Eddie such visceral pleasure that spots practically dance in his vision from how fucking heavenly it was. "S-shit fuck," Eddie grinds out eloquently, knowing he has very little time to enjoy this. He doesn't necessarily want to cum, just wants to enjoy this for what little time he can.

Eddie humps desperately against his sweaty palm, the pressure hurting as much as it is helping. He wishes he could pull out his cock and feel the full heavy weight of himself in his hand. Enjoy the sticky mess of precum weeping from the head of his cock, slicking his fingers so perfectly to help him fuck his fist even faster.

He can feel the wetness of himself through his jeans, thankful they were black otherwise anyone who looked in could see him making a pathetic, wet mess of himself in his pants.

"So f'ckin pretty," Eddie slurs out, practically drunk off the heat pooling in his belly. He wishes he remembered her name, so he could feel the way it would vibrate in his chest and taste on his tongue as he would moan it out.

Eddie thinks about her puffy nipples, how round and stiff they were as he grips his cock firmly to get a bit more relief. Drool fills his mouth as he wonders how good it would feel to suckle them. He knows he'd love it, knows he'd lap and kiss and suck on her tits for hours if she let him.

He can feel the beginnings of an orgasm buzz under his skin, his breathing becoming heavy and shaky with each passing moment. The precipice is almost there, Eddie can almost reach it—

And then the pelting sounds of the hose spraying away the soap comes to an abrupt halt. Now that there wasn't a heavy torrent of water against the windshield, the outside world was quickly coming into view and with it, the girl.

Her shirt is soaked through, and Eddie can see the distinct outline of her chest and nipples; it's as if she wasn't even wearing a shirt.

Wide eyed, Eddie can't tear his eyes away as the horror unfolds. She comes right up to his driver side window with a smile right as he cums violently hard in his pants.

She gestures for Eddie to roll down his window, her smile faltering a little as she notices how heavy he's breathing and how red his face is. Eddie slams his eyes shut, humiliation burning through him, souring the euphoric hum of his orgasm. He doesn't want to roll down the window, terrified that she'll smell the cum and shame.

But her brows are knitting together in concern and Eddie Munson isn't that much of an asshole. He silently kisses goodbye any imagined chance he might have had with her, as his shaking, sweaty hands roll down his window.

"Hey, are you okay?" Her voice is immediately in his ear, making his sensitive nerves buzz with pleasure because Jesus fucking christ he really likes her voice.

"Y-yeah," Eddie croaks out, cringing inwardly at himself. "Just a little hot in here with the AC off." As he talks to her, Eddie tries to discreetly adjust himself so the wetness in his pants won't be too noticeable. He feels his cum cooling on his thighs and under his ass, and he literally wants to die right about now.

"Oh, sorry. I really tried to get it clean as fast as possible. You could have come out and enjoyed some cooler air though?" She's leaning up against Eddie's car door, her chest smooshing into the metal.

"Yeah, I uh… I guess I could've done that huh? Got… distracted, 's a really good album after all."

The girl laughs a little, nodding her head in agreement at Eddie's words. "Okay, fair enough. Again, I'm sorry it took so long, but she's all clean now! If you pull up to the front they're taking the donations up there."

As embarrassed as Eddie is right now, and hoping she doesn't notice that he's sitting in a pool of his own cum, he can't help but feel a tinge of disappointment that their interaction was coming to an end.

"Okay… yeah, um thanks. And don't worry, you could have taken all day for all I care." The words leave his mouth before he can stop them, making Eddie squeeze his eyes shut in utter mortification.

"Enjoyed the show that much, huh?" The girl winks, but her laugh makes it clear how little she's taking this seriously.

Oh if only you knew Eddie thinks to himself.

"I… I no— I mean, that is I didn't not enjoy it, but I wasn't like, enjoying it in a weird way,"

She chuckles, reaching out to smoosh a finger to Eddie's lips to keep him from rambling on like that. As she leans up into his space, Eddie feels his face start burning again. Her eyes flicker between his, before lowering.

He sees the exact moment that she notices the giant wet spot, impossible to hide even with his black jeans; her mouth parting on a sharp inhale of surprise.

"Fuck," Eddie bites out, pulling away from her and trying in vain to hide the evidence of his shame.

The girl's dark eyes lift up to meet Eddie's, and he's bracing himself to see hatred, disgust or even ice cold anger there.

"You better get going Eddie, I've got another car to wash and you've got some jeans to clean." There's no maliciousness to her words, just a hint of cheeky teasing as she pulls away.

Eddie can only bring himself to nod, before wordlessly driving forward. He sees her waving goodbye to him in the rear view mirror, and it only makes him feel worse.

As quickly as possible, Eddie dumps whatever loose change he can into the donations box and floors it; not even caring about getting gas anymore. There was no way in hell he was getting out of the van with cum soaked pants and the hottest girl still in plain sight.

Eddie goes to turn the volume up, blasting his music loud enough that maybe it would make his brain explode so he would never have to think about the greatest orgasm of his life followed quickly by his greatest humiliation, ever again.

It was hours later, basking in the afterglow of another desperate, carwash girl fueled fantasy orgasm, that Eddie realizes he had never asked for her name.

And that tomorrow morning, he was going to have to come face to face with her again in 3rd period.

#stranger things fanfic #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson smut #virgin!eddie munson #minors dni #minors do not interact

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megumimylove · 1 year

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BOYFRIEND KUROO

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- hcs about how i think kuroo would be like as your boyfriend

- gender neutral reader

- im back in my haikyuu obsession phase

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Boyfriend Kuroo who makes stupid chemistry puns and then laughs at them.

Boyfriend Kuroo who is the best at providing comfort by just being there.

Boyfriend Kuroo who watches your fav romance films with you because you love them.

Boyfriend Kuroo who calls you at night cause he "wanted to hear your voice before falling asleep".

Boyfriend Kuroo who always makes sure you're eating enough.

Boyfriend Kuroo who will help you study during exam season cause he's a nerd.

Boyfriend Kuroo who is a clingy drunk.

Boyfriend Kuroo who flirts with you ALL THE TIME.

Boyfriend Kuroo who never fails to mention how gorgeous you look and will act all dramatic while complimenting you.

Boyfriend Kuroo who points at you before scoring a service ace.

Boyfriend Kuroo who sends you flowers "just because".

Boyfriend Kuroo who remembers every small detail you tell him even if you forget about them yourself.

Boyfriend Kuroo who talks to his mom about you (in a good way ofc).

Boyfriend Kuroo who sends you cute cat pictures cause they remind him of you.

Boyfriend Kuroo who recreates your favourite book scenes with you.

Boyfriend Kuroo who tells you random facts he read about.

Boyfriend Kuroo who stops the car to go out and pick wild flowers for you.

Boyfriend Kuroo who listens to your stories over and over again without once complaining because he loves seeing how your face lights up while narrating them.

Boyfriend Kuroo who brings home stray kittens because they looked at him cute.

Boyfriend Kuroo who wakes up to keep you company when you can't sleep at night.

Boyfriend Kuroo who absolutelyyyyy loves your family like his own.

Boyfriend Kuroo who is the best boyfriend in this entire world and deserves all the love.

#megumimylove #kuroo tetsurou fanfiction #kuroo tetsurou imagines #kuroo tetsurou fluff #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsuro x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu headcanons #kuroo headcanons #i love kuroo so much i wish was dating him instead of my dumbass boyfriend

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heymeowmao · 28 days

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2024.08.13 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321325067017437970567

LYN: Long time no see, long time. Wait for me a sec- I want to turn on the AC. It’s a little warm. LYN: Long time no see. It’s been quite some time since I last streamed. I happened upon a video today- they were saying that I- hold on, let me adjust the sound settings- I haven’t streamed for 46 days? Or something? I heard you calling me, so I couldn’t resist. LYN: There’s a saying, isn’t there? “If missing you had a sound…” I heard that friend- they were howling. It’s been forty-some days since I’ve streamed, so they couldn’t stand it any longer. So here I am. I’ve got to get my month’s quota down quickly. LYN: Let me welcome you in again.

C: I almost stopped being your fan. LYN: Is that warranted? It was only a few days, and you want to stop being my fan? If you’re going to be like that, then let me be arrogant as well: Do you need me to call you a car? If you do, contact my studio and they’ll give you 10RMB for the car service. Goodbye.

C: Lao-da, do you know how loudly I cried? LYN: It’s 9pm, be quiet and don’t disturb your neighbors. I’m only streaming, it’s not like I died. Why are you crying? C: I missed you so much I had insomnia for the past 46 days. LYN: ??? Your sleep schedule is probably not that great to begin with. Try to get some more regular exercise. Adjust your body’s circadian rhythm and it will help with your sleep. Don’t blame your lack of sleep on me. There are so many recorded livestreams, if you have time you should just watch those. You can pretend they’re “live” streams. How can you blame your poor sleep on me??

C: What’s up with the hair down the middle? LYN: It’s for ~the look~. I really can’t talk about anything too fashionable with you. It’s the look. Can’t you see that my top has all these shiny sequins? That’s so I can look cool. And you dare to ask me why I have hair down the middle?? It’s fashionable! C: You’ve been wearing a hat to stream for so many times now. LYN: It’s like this- most of the time I had a whole day of filming earlier in the day and I come straight home to stream. Because I have to apply the wig, it makes my hair really flat. Because if you want to apply the wig, your natural hair needs to be combed very smoothly, and to get clean edges they will use lots of hair wax/gel. By the time I get home my hair is flat and full of wax, so there’s no shape or style. I can only cover it. If I wear a hat, I won’t have to wash my hair. I don’t wash my hair, because if I do then I also have to remove my makeup. … If I wash and remove my makeup, when I start streaming you won’t recognize me anymore. It’s like Painted Skin- you’ll discover a new person underneath. So because I don’t want to remove my makeup, I don’t wash my hair either. Please be understanding and let me wear a hat. I look warm/gentle, don’t I?

C: The weather is so hot but you’re wearing long sleeves. Are you not hot? LYN: There is an electronic in this world, it’s called an “air conditioner.” LYN: You always see this, though. For example- all artists. Think about Hengdian- these days it’s been around 40C. When I look at the weather forecast, it says that the real-time temperature is 40C. Let me tell you- it definitely isn’t only 40C. When you open your phone there’s a weather app, and it will tell you the temperature of the day/time. It might be telling you it’s 39C right now, but it’s not. I don’t know why they can’t report that it’s hotter. Are they afraid of scaring me to death? C: They’re afraid to scare you to death. LYN: Like for artists- and for me who is currently filming- it’s currently 40C in Hengdian. Often, we’ll have to act out scenes when it’s “snowing.” Sometimes it’s at night, but even then it’s 30-35C. And it needs to snow. We have to pretend it’s cold, while wearing a big fur coat. “Wow, how cold. 35C…” There’s just no helping it- because it’s our job. I’ve gotten used to it, for the most part. It’s the same for female artists- in the winter they have to attend awards ceremonies and similar events but no matter how cold it is, they’ll wear a gown. It’s a show of respect towards the event or sponsoring platform. Likewise, I’m wearing long sleeves in my house right now as a show of respect to you. Of course, I hope there is mutual respect here.

C: What’s drama snow made out of? LYN: Usually there are two- three types. What happens if we want snow in the drama when the actual season doesn’t allow for it? There are three things. The first- it’s not actively snowing, but we can place it on the ground. So, for scenes where you see the “snow” has already fallen and gathered on the ground. But we can’t have it fall because this stuff it’s toxic if it enters the eyes/mouth. It can’t all, but we can put it on the floor. Someone told me once, what it was, but I can’t say. It’s not bubbles/foam… more like salt? I don’t know what it is. [instant snow polymer (sodium polyacrylate)] You put this type on the floor. If it can fall from the sky, it’s one of two types. C: Styrofoam. LYN: No, we don’t usually use that. Because once it gets on you, it’s all over. LYN: It’s more like what you would use to wash with- shower gel. Like when you blow on and scatter a mound of bubbles. That’s the first kind- shower gel. They make a thick foam of bubbles and then blow it with the wind machine. The second kind is- C: Made with dandruff. LYN: 去你的! LYN: The second kind is made with sticky rice- it’s kind of like rice paper? They’ll shred it and then blow it through the air; it looks like snow. Why do I think it’s made with sticky rice? Because one time it fell on my lips and I ate it. I didn’t swallow it- I may look dumb, but I’m not ACTUALLY- but I tried to push it out of my mouth and I discovered that it was sticky. They told me it was made with sticky rice, and that it was ok- I wouldn’t die from it.

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LYN: A while ago I went to record for Our Songs, and I’m sure you’re enjoying watching it. I sang… a few songs. - /plays the video for 恋爱画板 and sings along/ LYN: Honestly, friends, I had to sing this with quite a pinched tone. From a performance perspective, it’s not a particularly difficult song or very high key. But the difficulty for me was that I had to use a pinched tone. Normally when I sing, you all know the type of song that I suit- /starts singing 就在江湖之上/- they’re all this type of song. But for this song, I couldn’t just- /sings it powerfully/. That’s not good. So I had to “pinch”- /sings cutely/. There was just no helping it. How else was I supposed to sing it? I had to match the mood of the song. LYN: I had fun filming these couple of episodes, as they’re all people I’m more familiar with. So I felt a lot more reassured during the recording process. I was happy. C: Are you going later, too? LYN: WMDG? I think I’ll go? But I don’t know- I’ll have to see if I have time. I think there’s some sort of finale that I will attend. If I’m remembering correctly, I should be going to it.

C: What’s Music Fate Plan (音乐缘计划) like? LYN: /rolls his eyes around his head to show he’s thinking of what to say/ LYN: I went and recorded… half. It should be four episodes total. I went to be a guest member, for four episodes. But I only recorded for half. You’ll probably see it later. I had fun because I was with people I know. Honestly, I know fewer people as an actor; since I was a singer to start with, I have more singer friends. In my group chats, sometimes they will ask me, “Do you know this actor?” and give a name. I reply, “... Who is it? What do they do?” They tell me what that person has acted in, and I… still don’t know them. Most of the time I’ve heard their name before, but I don’t know them. But as for singers, I think I’m not bad. Let’s not tak about whether I’m close with them or not, but for the most part I know them all. At the very least, I’ve worked with them before. [t/n: not sure, but I think this is in reference specifically to the Music Fate Plan singers?] LYN: I was quite happy to go, but I don’t know- it gave me the feeling that the longer I recorded, the more afraid I got. The longer it went, the more terror I felt. Because I’m a person who likes to joke, but during recording I discovered something. The terror I felt made me think to myself, “Is this okay?? Is it alright to talk to each other like this?? When this show airs, would we not all be cursed to death by the viewers? We must all be crazy.” I can’t believe we said some things we did without filtering it through our brains first. I don’t know! I don’t know what they’ll put on air. It’s possible that if we went overboard, they would cut it out when editing. The more I recorded, the more afraid I got. I would ask the person next to me- Zhou Shen- “Isn’t this a program that airs on tv? Jiangsu Satellite TV, right?” If it were just shown online, it could be more lenient. But this is an official television broadcast. “Are we allowed to do it this way??” I’m not afraid- because I would never say anything terribly bad about others- but just because we played it big with some of the jokes we were making. It’s only because we’re close with each other, so we feel comfortable enough to make these types of jokes. But I can’t help but wonder if it’s… allowable? If it airs just like that I’m sure we’ll be cursed to death by the netizens. I think we were a little bit too much in our natural states.

LYN: Am I trending? Don’t try to trick me! I’m… not worthy. I don’t think I have what it takes to be trending. You’re not lying to me, are you? -- 我不配 (I’m Not Worthy Enough) by Jay Chou LYN: Let me take a look. LYN: 19! 🙂 C: Ning-ge, you’re at 20. LYN: … I was just at 19 but sang a little and now I’m at 20? I can feel your rejection of my music. /sigh/ Fine. I won’t sing. I just won’t sing, ok?

LYN: You can check out Music Fate Plan. I should have gone to record… episodes 7, 8, 9, 10? 4 episodes. I was abe to choose some songs that I liked, and will be performing them on stage.

C: Ning-ge, why are you wearing a hat when you’re home. LYN: I already explained when I started the stream. You probably just came in. When I stop streaming, you can go watch the playback. There’s about 5 minutes where I explain why I’m wearing a hat. If you really want to know why, I can use a short two-word explanation. “Cold Body. (体寒)” “Please understand.”

LYN: I’m quite familiar with the Music Fate Plan guests. What can I say… let me go in order: - Liu Duanduan- We’ve worked together before; we shot a drama together. He was… my brother? …Right. He wasmy brother. So I’ve worked with him before. - Shan Yichun- I’ve met her on WMDG before, and we did a song together. We also released a song for Honor of Kings. It counts as having worked with her before, so we’re close. - Zhou Shen- We’ve been in a lot of variety shows together including one season on WMDG and KSTLB. He’s a close friend. - Xue Zhiqian- I often see him, always on music programs. - Xiao Gui (Wang Linkai)- We’ve also worked together before. I think people enjoyed our collaboration (on WMDG). (烟花易冷) - Zhou Bicang- Actually we… also recorded WMDG together. Why is it that now that I’m thinking about it, it’s the same group of people doing music variety shows?? The group of us have all been on WMDG. I’ve worked with her before, and once for a New Year’s event we sang together. - Huangzi Hongfan- this is a new friend that I’ve met. He’s quite a good kid. LYN: We had fun recording. Because we all know each other, so it was a relaxed mood and we were able to speak without reserve.

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C: Ning-ge, people say you’re an Introvert. LYN: You must not be on the internet very much, because I can see that when some people type comments, they don’t have the “super fan” tag stuck to the back of their user ID. Some IDs are made up of a string of English numbers and letters, too. But I don’t quite know what it means- what’s an I-person and an E-person? I-people are more… “i”? Lol, nonsense. I-people are more... introverted? They don’t like to talk much or make friends, and pretty much keep to themselves. E-people are (extroverts)- people who go anywhere and can get along well, make friends, and have fun. LYN: Actually, a lot of people think that I am an E. “I saw online that Ning-ge accompanies people for drinks.” “He must be good at networking, and can talk himself into projects smoothly.” “He looks so social.” You might think I’m that way, but in reality I… really don’t talk at all. I’m very “i”, and I don’t like gatherings. But right now I’m streaming, so I have to get myself into a “performing state” and stream for you. If I were to be this crazy in my personal life then I’d really be insane. C: Aren’t you pretending to be cool and composed? LYN: I’m not pretending to be cool and composed, I just think that most things aren’t my concern. I’ll keep my distance.

C: Your coworkers say that when you sing Rang Jiu you drink wine. LYN: /lol/ Huh?? Who said that? Who’s spreading these rumors?? After I drink I can neither sing nor act. If I drink, my voice turns hoarse. So I can’t sing. LYN: Also- who’s going around drinking first, then singing? You should really be careful- Do you think this is a KTV?? You could go with your friends to a KTV, eat guazi, pistachios, duck tongues and have a few beers, sure. When you sing after that you’ll probably be thinking you’re the best, and you’re one of the Four Great Heavenly Kings. It feels like you’re singing amazingly. But singing happily and singing for singers, for recordings- is two different things. If you’re recording, you have to be very detailed, and record very many times. It’s not like performing live- that’s actually okay. But in a studio you have to be really detailed and focused. There’s no way I would drink a little before I sing Rang Jiu. Woud it make me appear more carefree?? -- 让酒 (Let the Wine) LYN: This is water! Don’t really think that I’m consuming alcohol. This is pure water.

C: I want to watch your concert. LYN: You have a chance.

LYN: This song is also very good. I wasn’t able to recommend it to you because around that time I hadn’t streamed. -- 作者 (Author) - Interlaced Scenes OST

C: Trending topic is #32 now. LYN: It’s okay. With my level of status and fame, being on the list in the first place is already a great blessing to me. Be it #32 or #89, it’s all good.

LYN: This song from 颜心记 (Follow Your Heart) is also very nice. - /pulls up the wrong song from the OST/ LYN: Oh- it’s called 心悠悠 (Longing Heart). Hold on… - /tries to pull it up but can’t find it (?) so switches track/ LYN: I have to find it and I don’t want to type anymore.

LYN: There’s also another song I sang recently, for A Lonely Hero’s Journey - 孤舟. It’s a good watch, and features one of my good friends. Xiao Zeng-tongxue (Little Student Zeng). If you have the time you can check it out. I really did watch it. A little. I found the time to watch some.

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C: How long do you usually stream for? LYN: I find the time to stream a little, and I’ll only do it for 10 minutes. I finish up in 10-20 minutes. Because I don’t really know how to do a livestream. Normally, I’m not someone who is very good at communicating, so I’ll stream for 10-20 minutes and then leave. So when I stop streaming you should… rest early.

C: Did ZSX give you money yet? LYN: It’s not worth it! I don’t need money for EVERYTHING. I also sang a song for the OST, so- do I really need to say more?

LYN: There are some friends here who keep bringing up the names of other artists, and asking me for my opinion of them. The thing is- what right do I have to judge others?? That’s the first thing. Secondly- I have no right! Even if I say something good, what right do I have to comment? I don’t. LYN: It’s actually really easy to reply to these types of comments, though. If they ask me about anyone I can say, “They’re very nice. Such a good person! Really, not bad.” That’s normal, isn’t it? They ARE all quite good. C: Lao-da, what do you think about Liu Yuning? LYN: Oh, him? You know, I really can say a lot about him. I think that Liu Yuning is just... average. Yeah. Average.

C: Ning-ge, do you have any dramas that will air soon? LYN: Um…. /laughs at himself/ It looks like I’m crazy. LYN: I don’t know. C: The system has a bug? LYN: There’s no bug. There’s a bug in ME. Sorry. LYN: I don’t know. Honestly. As an actor, it’s really hard for us to say when our own dramas will air. The platform doesn’t even know most of the time, let alone the actors. A lot of dramas are released on the fly- they’ll air without any promotion.

LYN: TXJ- you know the drama, I acted as Zuo Bufan- that drama already aired, and I hadn’t finished the recording for the OST yet. Usually I’ll sing an OST for the dramas that I’ve acted in. But it was released so suddenly that I hadn’t yet found the time to record the OST yet! After a week of airing, I finally finished the song and then it was added in. It was really that rough. There wasn’t any promotion prior to the drama airing. C: TXJ was a good drama. LYN: Really, it wasn’t bad. TXJ is a genre that I quite like. When you’re watching it, you’ll feel like it’s different than most other dramas. It might not be a mainstream drama, like most people are into these days. That’s not the style. But… I thought it was an enjoyable watch. If you have the time, you can go check it out.

C: The voice-acting for Cicada Girl is done, right? LYN: Voice-acting is done. I don’t think I’ll be singing for it, though. The demos they gave me… didn’t really suit me. So I won’t be singing, but voice-acting is all done. It’s real-time sound, so I only had to make-up for some parts. Honestly, I don’t have very many scenes in it, either. The whole drama is 24 episodes, so I don’t have many scenes. I forgot how many, but not more than 200. C: I like how you look as Xiao Bei. LYN: It’s just short hair, isn’t it. At the time I was putting on wigs to stream. I’ve also not had much experience shooting moden dramas, so- /doesn’t finish the thought/

C: When will SJYM wrap? LYN: Mid-September or so? I still have less than a month left. C: What are your plans for after wrap? LYN: After drama wrap I’ll… what’s it to you? Why do you have to ask about everything? Don’t ask. LY: After wrap I’ll stay home and idle. No- I have a bunch to do. On the music side, there are many things that I have yet to record. I tend to just do things when I think about them. I was thinking before that I would create an EP of collaborations. I had collected a bunch of songs, but I haven’t even released my album yet and I’m thinking about releasing this EP. I need to find people to collab with, and also work on my album.

LYN: I was planning to go to an awards ceremony, but they require you to report what song you’ll be performing at the event ahead of time. And what a coincidence that it’s been five years after my debut- that’s right, isn’t it? Has it been 6 or 5 years? Six years? Ok, well- It’s been six years since my debut, so wouldn’t it be meaningful if I sang 讲真的? -- 讲真的 LYN: I was thinking, if I sang this song, wouldn’t it be particularly meaningful? I can say,” Look at me then- I was just someone who sang songs at the side of a road. And now I can sing them on this stage.” I don’t know. That’s what I was thinking of doing, but I didn’t end up doing it. I switched the song. But I’ll find an opportunity later to rearrange this song and perform it on a stage.

LYN: (about Fall in Love) At the time this song was supposed to be the first one on my new album. But now it’s been three years since I released it. I was thinking this could be the first song on my second album, and I sang it at the Jiangsu New Year’s event. Then later that same year, I would release the rest of the album. And then? I didn’t release anything else. LYN: I was thinking this was the year to finally release the album, but I don’t know. I just feel like it’s about time and I should do everything it takes to release it. As long as I return to Beijing and record the last few songs, everything will be ready. But because Fall in Love was released so long ago, it is no longer considered part of the album, but as a regular single instead. I can start releasing the rest of it. I’ll send it out of nowhere, straight to your front door.

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LYN: There are a lot of new people watching my stream today- have you only started liking me recently? Huh? I haven’t been on anything lately, why would you start liking me now? It’s unbelievable. C: Centipede fan. LYN: 蜈蚣粉 (wúgōng fěn = centipede fan)? I’ve heard of 酸辣粉 (suānlà fěn = hot and sour noodle). I’ve heard of 螺螄粉 (luósī fěn = river snail noodles). What is an “wúgōng fěn”?? Is it some place’s specialty dish? /laughs/ I’m kidding. I know what you’re talking about. The leaked video about the centipede, right? LYN: Honestly, that was nothing and didn’t have much to do with me. It’s all thanks to the far away paparazzi. I didn’t grab it, it was just a coincidence that I maybe happened to brush against it and knock it off her skirt. This was no main hero saving the fair maiden situation. I just happened to be able to knock it off. Don’t push that on me and make me out to be a hero. I’m not. - LYN: It was a pretty interesting day. LYT and I were filming up on the rooftop. It was a pretty complicated scene, overall. And then after a while, about ten minutes into the scene, I started hearing shouts from across the way. /unintelligible screaming/ But from that far away, the only thing I could make out was “Li Yitong”! That was the only thing I could hear. I was joking with her too, saying, “Hey! Your fans are out to support you. You’re too amazing. You even have fans hiding out in the mountains to support you. Thanks for letting me “fly” (be in the photos) with you.” I was thinking, “There are fans who would hide out in the mountains just to provide support?? That’s amazing.” But then I saw them start to point. I was looking around, thinking we had unknowing bared ourselves? But we didn’t- everything was covered. I hadn’t seen it yet. I had no idea what was going on. Then, from the video you saw what happened. - LYN: It was so strange! I’m sure of one thing- after everything, when we knew it was a big centipede- I had told her, “The events of this night are worthy of more than one hot topic. We’re going to have at least one.” Just like I predicted, the next morning there was a trending topic at #1. That bug’s size was just too great. The length was worth it. The more amazing thing is that I’m sure one day many friends will watch this drama, and when you see that scene you will say, “This is it! The centipede scene!” I’m sure that’s all the comments will be talking about. C: Does the centipede get any screentime? LYN: I don’t think we recorded it. LYN: The centipede that day reached the height of its popularity.

LYN: Someone asked me earlier when I expect my new dramas to air, and I really don’t know. Honestly, I also don’t have anything in stock. All of the previous drama that I’ve filmed for- the ones where I have fewer scenes- have all finished airing already. I’m not sure when the rest will air. I haven’t even done the voice-acting for a lot of them yet. So I don’t know when they’ll air, but we’ll just wait.

C: Lao-da, I’m almost celebrating my birthday. LYN: ? What does that mean- “almost”? Is it coming soon or is it today? LYN: To everyone who is celebrating their birthday today- I wish you a Happy Birthday.

C: Ning-ge, will you act as a dominating CEO? I think your breathy croak is not bad. LYN: What breathy croak? I can’t tell if you’re trying to compliment me or imply something else.

- /Talking about some art that a fan had made? A mosaic? I don’t get the reference, but Ning-ge thinks it’s romantic./ - /I also don’t know what they talk about next. Something about putting on/taking off his clothes?/ C: Ning-ge, when you say it like that it sounds shameful. LYN: Isn’t it, though?? What are you girls thinking about all the time? You got happy even seeing a mosaic??

C: Do you die at the end of SJYM? LYN: … Uh… This is… /gulps/. I can’t spoil it. You’ll know if you watch it! Who knows if I’ll die or not??

C: Lao-da, will there be a music festival 4.0? LYN: Of course, as long as I have the time. This drama had been difficult to shoot. I don’t know why, but I feel especially tired. Oh- uh, of course, I am not complaining. I’m not trying to say that my work is tiring- there’s none of that. Acting as a profession is not a tiring thing. I’m just trying to say that personally, because I am in bad health- I either have the chills or diarrhea- because I am a weak person, that I find shooting this drama is tiring. I feel tired because am in bad health, not because the work is hard. I’m getting older and can’t hold out anymore. /coughs/

------ break #1 - /laughs at the video of himself he put up/ LYN: I’ve just discovered that maybe I used to be a lunatic.

LYN: I was scrolling across weibo today and I saw something. My friend Yizhe, went to CMBF, right? Wang Yizhe. I think their first public performances are done already. If I’m not seeing incorrectly, I think he’s ranked last. LYN: Brother… LYN: If you (are eliminated)- Please don’t blame gege. I didn’t do it on purpose. I was just joking. I didn’t REALLY shoot the support video for you that way. That’s also not was I was thinking in my heart. LYN: You have to take care of yourself! Jiayou! Next time you’re working on a song, could you ask me? You have this friend who does music, don’t you. I’m considered a singer. You can ask me- not that I’m trying to tell you how to do things, but we can communicate and think about a good way to execute your performance. I can provide some ideas. Don’t just try to do it quietly and on your own. Don’t do it by yourself. LYN: I have two friends on this show- one was Fang Yilun, and he left after one round. This one is called Wang Yizhe and I’m really afraid that he’s going to fold after one round too. I’m afraid for these two friends. Yilun really did leave after one round the last time. Next time when you’re choosing the song you can talk to me about it. I can break it down for you.

LYN: I watched your stage! I watched your performance of 问风. I watched it. Let me tell you, you can’t change the song like that! /laughs/ You could have asked me!! Oh wait- what if I know the person who rearranged it? No- I was joking! That performance was amazing! But the voting is really unpredictable. The song is great, and the arrangement was the best! Amazing! Luxurious! Friends- let’s appreciate this performance of 问风 together. You can experience it. Listen to this- -- /analyzes Yizhe’s perf of 问风 on CMBF/ - /thinks the adlibbing was unnecessary and surprised himself by guessing the direction the melody would flow, lol/ - /turns into a drummer/ LYN: That’s it?!

LYN: This is… let me check who the arranger was, first. Ok, well. If it were me, I wouldn’t- I would probably also do it sort of like this. I feel like the arrangement was great. - /tries to get his “thumbs up” filter to work/ LYN: Overall, the song is not bad. LYN: /to WYZ/ But the next time you’re choosing a song, you can communicate with me. I might not be the most professional out of all the people you know, but I can brainstorm with you. - /plays the song again/ LYN: See? It’s really got me. I can’t help but want to hear it again. LYN: Just- If it had entered into the chorus (without the adlibbing), that would have been really satisfying. Keep the momentum going. But I know that they probably had a time limit of at least 1m30s- a performance within 100 seconds at least. His performance was 1m25s, so 95 (85) seconds. Relatively short. So you could have cut the adlib, and just come back to it at the end instead. That would have been enough. If it were me, that’s how I would have done it.

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LYN: The other day someone told me that this song 当遇见你 (The Moment I Met You) is coming back around again. - /goes around thanking people for using his songs, and tells his fans to do the same instead of trying to start fights because of it./

C: Lao-da, how much longer will you stream for? I’m going to sleep. LYN: What time is it? 10:40p. Okay. If you’re sleepy, then go to sleep. You don’t need to tell me. Just listen to a song before you go. - /plays a loud/raucous song to wake people up/ LYN: I’ll stream for a little while longer before I stop. It won’t be too late since I’ve got to get an early start tomorrow morning. If you want to sleep first, then go ahead. C: You don’t have any secrets to tell? LYN: I can’t use the jokes I make in my stream every time! If you’re wondering why this friend would ask this, it’s because the last time someone wanted to leave to go sleep, I said, “You go to sleep. Now I’m going to tell the biggest secret in the entertainment industry. If you’re not here, you won’t be able to hear it.” I hooked them, so they didn’t want to go to sleep anymore. But this time, if they want to sleep I should just let them. It’s a Tuesday. Last time was a Saturday or Sunday, I don’t remember. But on a Tuesday people have work or school the next morning, so let’s not disrupt their sleep. Right? Rest well.

C: Are you still working out? LYN: No. I gave up. There was a day I felt I was getting fat and thought about losing weight, but after a whole day of filming I’m tired and don’t really have the energy to work out. So I thought I would try to control my eating, so I was on a diet for about 20 days. Now I’ve lost about… from my heaviest (most recently) until now, I’ve lost about almost 10, maybe 9kg.

C: Ning-ge, I lost my dog. Could I borrow Daimi for two days? LYN: You must be crazy. You can’t borrow her.

C: Ning-ge, can you recreate Hei Xiazi’s look? LYN: There’s nothing really special about his look. Rather- not that there’s not anything special, but it’s not difficult to do like a guzhuang look would be. Xiazi is just shades and some unkempt hair, and a leather jacket. Cargo pants. Gloves. That’s about it. C: Hurry. Change. LYN: What do you think I am? You think you can just change my clothes: “This hat isnt good. Take it off. The hair color doesn’t work. Lets dye it pink. Add glasses!” Is that what you mean? You’re thinking of me as an Yuning-nuan nuan? After picking on my profession, now you’re starting to micro-manage my look? You’re playing with me?? - /puts on some shades/ LYN: Wow~ /laughs/ This one doesn’t work. The shape isn’t right.

C: Can’t I use technology? [t/n: ??] LYN: That’s what I was trying to say earlier!! If you’re playing that game that lets you change the avatar’s clothing, you still buy the outfits with real money or by buying the lottery tickets. I’m letting you watch my stream for free, and you want me to change clothes too? LYN: I used to change, remember? I changed into the baby cabbage shirt. I changed into a green/yellow shirt, and as soon as people saw me they started telling me, “Ning-ge, you kind of look like a cabbage.” It was demoralizing, because I had just bought that shirt. It was a few thousand dollars. I was planning to wear it on a variety show, but then you all started snidely remarking that it made me look like a cabbage. I never touched that shirt again. My studio found it one day and asked if I wanted to wear it and I told them, “No! Get rid of it. Give it to my makeup artist. I never want to see this cabbage shirt again in my life. I will also never EAT cabbage again.” C: It’s not worth it. LYN: /villain laugh/ How is it not worth it?? It’s very worth it. You don’t know how much pain that experience gave me. For the first time I felt like I was very “菜” (cai = poor/weak). - C: Raffle it. LYN: I won’t be. /sigh/ Friends, what can I say? My fans, honestly, are very much different from everyone else’s fans. My fans are slightly more mature- they’re not particularly agitated. But for example, sometimes I buy these beads and after I buy them I don’t like them as much anymore. After you buy something, you might see something that’s even better and then not want the one you already have. I was thinking I would take one strand and separate it into three, then raffle them. I had really thought about it before, because I didn’t particularly like them and it wasn’t worth it to sell them to other people. But the thing about raffling that makes me worried is that the people who are not able to win a bracelet would then become disappointed in me. They’d get angry. LYN: Before, there was the vinyl. I forget how many copies there were- 8,000? And I said, “If you can’t get one, it’s okay.” It was a limited number- only 8,000. Then, because they were unable to attain a copy, some people stopped being my fan. The reason was because they weren’t able to get one of my vinyls, were unhappy, so they stopped being my fan. C: 8170. LYN: Yeah, 8,000 copies. C: The master skill of the jianghu- “quit being a fan and trash everything on their way out”. LYN: No, this fan didn’t trash things on their way out, they were just too expectant to get a vinyl. Later I saw that scalpers were also selling them. They didn’t have the number, but I think you could still buy them. C: Ning-ge, if someone did “quit being a fan and trash everything on their way out”, what would you do? LYN: I can’t find the words. I’m speechless.

C: Ning-ge, I’ve been admitted into high school! LYN: Congrats! LYN: You’ve been ADMITTED into high school? Oh- it must be a better-off school. I don’t know too much about it. You didn’t provide context. If you had said, “Ning-ge, I’ve been admitted to the best high school in my area”, then I would be happy for you. But I… went to a technical school. I learned how to be a cook. After middle school I went directly into a technical high school to learn how to be a cook. - LYN: But the other day I saw someone say something quite apt. They said, “Just because LYN has learned to be a cook, doesn’t mean you can throw all your pies at him and have him heat them and just wait to eat.”I thought about it and suddenly realized that yeah, they have a point. There used to be all sorts of dramas that would announce “Female Lead: ABC, Male Lead: Liu Yuning.” As soon as those three syllables popped up (LYN) people would start to furiously curse me out. “Is he worthy?!” “Why him??” Sometimes when I saw that happening I would sit there dazed. Then I would ask my studio- “Did I receive this script?” And they tell me, “We’ve never heard of it. D:” So what can I do? Get yelled at for nothing! LYN: It’s like this- first, they throw out a “Liu Yuning”- treat me as a skillet. Heat me up to 3000° and then throw the pie (the drama) on me. The want me to heat it for them. Then, they’ll say, “Oh, the male lead ISN’T Liu Yuning.” So people respond, “Oh, thank goodness. That’s fine, then.” They’re playing this trick! They’ve done this to me before. C: Ning-ge, it’s called a “dian bing ceng” LYN: “Dian bing dang”! Am I the cook, or are you the cook?! We’re different. We’re not talking about the same thing~

LYN: What’s happening- what are you people trying to sell under my weibo livestream?? Friends- please be aware- never buy anything claiming to sell you illegal videos on weibo. I won’t get into specifics, but PLEASE don’t. Other than female viewers, I’m sure there are many male viewers in my stream. If you see an advertisement on weibo claiming to sell you a video of something that you might be interested in, it’s a scam. They’ll use this method to steal your personal information to do some bad things. LYN: For example, if they claim to sell you a bunch of videos on a USB, you’ll open it and find Journey to the West instead. Or the Calabash Brothers. Tom & Jerry, etc. Just wait and see. That’s the first thing. The second thing is, there might be a lot of you in the stream who aren’t my fan. You might see, especially on weibo, people claiming to sell concert tickets. These types of scammers are common. I have a friend who was tricked. - /explains the whole process of how a scammer would set up the bait, get your info, then steal your money/ LYN: As soon as they’re done scamming you, they’ll block you. You won’t be able to find them again, nor will you be able to get your money back. LYN: If there’s one thing to remember: never give anyone online ANY of your personal information. C: I don’t have money. LYN: If you don’t HAVE money, then they wouldn’t be able to scam you, because you wouldn’t be looking to buy concert tickets (you can’t afford) in the first place. If you don’t have money, you won’t be tricked. C: I don’t have a bank card. LYN: You won’t be tricked either. It’s funny that you even put that out there. No money, no bank card. Why are you telling me this? If you don’t have money, then they’ll use your personal info to apply for a loan. XD

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C: Ning-ge, how do I hide my phone in high school? LYN: /laughs/ Huh?? Do you think I’m an AI, or what? You’re asking me just anything now?? LYN: You’re in school, but they don’t allow phones, so how should you hide yours? Well, most people hide it- How would I know?? I JUST told you that I attended a technical school. I didn’t go to high school. First off- I want to tell you that I don’t know how you should hide it, because I never attended high school. Forget about cell phones, I had to bring knives to school! We went to school with two knives in our backpack. Do you think phones would have been a problem? They weren’t. Two knives, a box of carving knives, pointed knives, u-shaped, v-shaped- I carried knives to school with me. If you ask me about how to hide a phone, I really don’t know. Secondly, if you’re going to school what do you need your phone for? You should be focused on learning. Don’t bring your phone. Just play at home. C: Ning-ge, you carry more knives to work than [character]. LYN: No! I was learning how to bea cook. It’s reasonable that I had to carry knives. C: What about the pot? LYN: When we went to school we had to carry the knives, but we didn’t have to carry the pot. The school has pots. We (the students) didn’t need to carry them. LYN: Also when we were first starting school, they wanted us to buy our knives- the very long kind. /measures with his hands/ The blade was this long, and the hilt was here. This knife is called a “sanhulu”. It was a very thick and heavy knife, because when we’re training with it, we had to strengthen our wrists. C: You really had to buy your own knives? LYN: Yeah, if you’re learning of course you’ll buy your own knives. - LYN: But! I know as we’re learning we had to carry our knives everywhere, but it’s not like any of us would have had the guts to take them out. It’s not like we were walking around with knives in our hands- that’s illegal. They had to be in the backpack and we could only take them out at school. Also- to that friend who asked if we had to carry our pots to school, no- /sarcastic/ I carried a tank of propane with me. I carried two tanks of propane, in case I’d be cooking and there’d be no more fire. I’d go to school with two knives in my backpack, a chopping board on my head, and two propane tanks. I look like Iron Man.

C: Ning-ge, praise me. I am 170 in my whole prefecture. LYN: Amazing. Jiayou. I’m sure you’ll be a pillar of the nation in the future. Learn well. Improve every day.

C: Ning-ge, did you do military education? LYN: Yeah, we did. Why not? A technical school is also an official school. It’s just that you learned math and language, so you can go anywhere without fear. While we carried two knives, and also could go anywhere without fear. It’s the same. The content we learned was different, but they are both official schools.

C: Did you have homework? LYN: Yes, of course. For example, if you learned carving in the morning- we had a lot of different courses: batters, frying, carving, knife skills, theory- safety and sanitation. Those are all the things we had to learn. So for example if we learned how to carve flowers in the daytime, we would go home and practice to turn something in the next day. It’s not something we can apply a formula to and calculate an answer for. It takes practice, so you’d buy a whole sack of radishes home to practice on. After ten or twenty times, you’ve finally got a complete on that you could turn it in. We would often have carving competitions, too. At the time, I held second place for my cohort. But that was only one time.

C: Wasting food. LYN: If you’re going to say it like that- you’ve lost the point. First of all, I think “wasting food” is a little bit exaggerated. Secondly, after I finished carving the radishes, we took the bits and to make soup. Are you trying to say that letting me eat it was a waste of food? LYN: We weren’t carving and throwing away the pieces. It’s not as if I was in the middle of the street and letting the shavings drop to the ground before returning home. Think about it- would a well-off family let their kid go learn to be a cook? Of course we weren’t well off, so when I finished carving we would dice the leftovers and make fried radish balls or radish dumplings. I would never throw it away and my grandparents would beat me to death if I tried. It wasn’t a waste of food. But if you think letting me eat it was a waste, that’s true. Because I eat a lot.

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C: Ning-ge, if I’m under the sun a lot during the day, how can I not get tan? LYN: If you have any methods, you can tell me too. I also get tan. No one can avoid the sun. A huge sun at 40C is like… an oven. It’s an oven.

C: OMG! A living Ning-ge! LYN: ?__? What do you mean a “living” Ning-ge?

C: Ning-ge, will you stream on 8/17? LYN: I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to, so that’s why I’m streaming in advance. 8/17 is a meaningful day for us. It’s a holiday for my fans. I was thinking of streaming but I don’t know if I’ll be able to. That’s why I came today, just in case.

C: I want to watch The Truth S3! Will you still record for it? LYN: Probably. We just finished this year, so next year… we’ll probably start shooting in Q1. Variety shows are separated into quarters- Q1, Q2, Q3, Q4. I think we will record a S3, because this year the ratings were pretty decent. I don’t want to self-praise and say we did very well, but I think we did decently at least. With all things, if there’s an interest then there’s a higher chance of continuation.

C: Ning-ge, your “cold body” (体寒) is trending. LYN: My “cold body” is trending?? I was only making a joke. Don’t tell me there are a bunch of doctors and TCM practitioners lining up to check on me our of curiosity? They’d like to cure me? For a cold body, I suppose they’d put danggui (female ginseng) and goji berries in a tub and tell me to soak my feet in it? To restabilize my body temperature? Are the people who made this trending studying traditional medicine? You’ve made me a case, and won’t stop until you’ve cured me? Such is the responsibility of a healer. C: Ning-ge, stick out your tongue and let me see it. LYN: I… will not let you see it. I don’t want you to actually see something if I show you. What if I really am weak and you can prove it? How do you expect me to continue on in this business? What if I’m actually sick and I don’t know it? Even if you can see that I tend to get diarrhea, that would be bad if the news got out.

C: The middle hair is really so distracting. LYN: You’ve seen it all night already. But my studio even sent me a message telling me to move it, because they say it makes me look crosseyed. - /glares into the camera/ LYN: Even my studio is on me about it. - /moves the hair to the side/ C: This looks much more comfortable. LYN: Yeah, but don’t you think this makes me look a lot more naive/foolish? - /starts referencing a douyin: Hello, I have a hoodie. I want to ask online, if I wear it, does it make me look loyal. Like a big-eared dwarf?/ LYN: Who do I look so loyal after moving my bangs? LYN: This won’t do. I still need to make it look decent. /moves it a little/ Okay. This does not make me look as loyal.

LYN: I’ll stream for a little longer. I need to wrap up before 12a today because tomorrow I’m in hair and makeup at 6:30a. That means I have to wake up before 6a. So I’ll stop streaming, wash my face, sleep for five hours, then get back to work. Okay? I’ll stop streaming at around 12a. But first I’ll use the restroom.

------ break #2

C: Ning-ge, the clothes that you wore the last stream have all been sold out. LYN: Oh, the T-Shirt? The fox one? (Nick Wilde, Zootopia)

LYN: !! There are still people spamming, “Ning-ge, stick out your tongue for me to see.” You must be sick! I don’t need your services! Thank you, Doctor!! Doctor, please rest early! C: Ning-ge, what should I do if I have rhinitis? LYN: Why don’t you get in contact with that person from earlier, who wanted me to stick my tongue out? They’re a doctor. They can check you out. See if they can cure your rhinitis for you, or tell you what type of medicine to use. Go ahead and direct message each other, I won’t be needing their services. LYN: Look at this, friends! It may look like you’re in my livestream, but actually this is just a huge public discussion board. Just now, there was a patient and doctor who were able to connect with each other because of it. I am just a platform. It’s possible that just by streaming today, we have cured someone who is suffering from rhinitis. Let’s congratulate this friend.

C: /announcing that they got admitted into college/ LYN: Congratulations. You’re amazing.

C: Ning-ge, do celebrities drink water. LYN: You must be sick! I can’t stand you being weird like this. What “celebrity” am I? Friends, I’m just an internet celebrity. (网红 // internet famous) LYN: Everything has to drink water. Even horses and cows drink water.

LYN: Before, when I first debuted, people would fall over themselves cursing me out. “LYN, what “singer” are you? You’re just internet famous.” The fans at the time- the ones who have been with me from the start- felt bad for me and would rebuke. “LYN is not internet famous, because he has never accepted business proposals or done influencer marketing.” They would try to prove me worthy. “LYN has this song, we welcome you to listen to it.” etc. My fans would try to back me up. But now when I hear the words “internet famous”, I think that it’s a really funny thing. My friends probably aren’t as sensitive about it anymore. To me, it’s just an… an experience that I won’t deny having had. Right now I’m streaming- so what does that make me? A lot of celebrities have also started streaming- what are they? C: 轻舟已过万重山. (starts quoting Li Bai; describes the poet’s pleasure of going through all hardships and entering a smooth journey) (x) LYN: It’s not that serious! Its just that a lot of the time- - /trying to set up for an ~emotional~ moment, but is having trouble finding the track/ LYN: Where did it go? Where is it?! - /found it/ LYN: ~ Honestly, most times it’s like this- In your life you will encounter many moments that you think you cannot overcome. You’ll feel like you’re suffering, conflicted, and helpless. But in truth you’ll discover that when it all passes, it was nothing. ~ LYN: I’ll need to download this bgm to somewhere easily accessible, so I can find it faster the next time. Ok. I’ll open it quickly the next time.

C: Blogger, I would like to hear 寻一个你 (Looking for You). LYN: They called me “Blogger”! /laughs/ Oh- wei-BO, so “blogger”. I understand. Of course, I count as a blogger. So... if you want to hear 寻一个你, then I suggest you go on a music platform like QQ and search for it. You may listen to it then. Ok, Netizen? If you call me a Blogger, then I can only call you a passionate Netizen.

C: I got into the best university in Lanzhou. LYN: That’s great! Wow. I’m jealous. Good luck. Do well in school.

C: Ning-ge, in KSTLB which snack tasted the best. LYN: I can’t remember the brand anymore. Also, we don’t have any business collaboration, so I won’t be recommending anything. When they find me to work with me, at that time I will fiercely recommend their products to you. The problem now is that if I recommend them… there’s no collaboration. Forget it. Also, it wasn’t the best thing I ever ate- it was okay. I was just hungry after a day of shooting.

C: Give me a hint when the next time you’ll stream will be. LYN: I don’t know when the next time I can stream is. There’s really no saying. Sometimes if I wrap up with work early, I’ll come to stream. But other times if I wrap early I’ll go to record songs or do some other work. But know that as long as I don’t have something else to do, I will come to stream.

LYN: Our Director Guo is here? Guo Hu? Welcome. [SJYM Director] LYN: We’re almost done with shooting SJYM and it was really great working together. I’m sure that you all are looking forward to and will like this drama. I’m really looking forward to it.

C: Ge, is your English good? LYN: My English? It’s great. Amazing. Really. My old friends all know that my English is great. I can communicate with a native speaker with no problems. Absolutely none. Because I… don’t talk to any. I don’t want to talk to them. But I was the English class representative in my school. We were all learning to be cooks, but in my class my English was the best. Everything you’re typing in the comments, I can for the most part understand. Things like, “Marry Me” and “Kiss Me”. How shallow. LYN: Look at the English you’re typing- it’s also just so-so! “Baby” and “Can you kiss me?” It’s all this type of comment! Can’t you say anything more high class and professional?? Give me a challenge. Don’t just come here and “Honey, honey”- /starts singing/ - who wouldn’t be able to understand that? LYN: What is “go to sleep with me”? You want me to go die with you?? I won’t be going, thanks. “Sleep” is a state of sleeping, right? But once it reaches a certain extent, it can become “dead”. So “go to “die” with me”- thanks, but I won’t be. - LYN: Don’t type anything too long because… the comments move too fast for me to read it all. LYN: “I will only…” what? Some of you are also typing in Korean. 😐/sigh/ Korean… I know! -- If You LYN: See, I can. I know a little of everything.

C: Speak some Korean. LYN: What do you know!? Come on, someone who knows Korean, come rate me. What do you mean “speak some Korean”? You must be kidding me. Friends, let me play the original track. I’ll sing, then you can hear if I sing it exactly the same- then you’ll know. LYN: This English reads, “G-Dragon/P.K/Dee.P” [t/n: he’s actually doing really well… for the parts he can keep up with XD] LYN: That’s about enough. Isn’t it (his Korean) good, though? Someone asked, “Speak some Korean” but I sing exactly the same, so how can I be “plastic” (fake)? At the very least I’m made of carved glass, which is pretty amazing. C: You were just matching the shape of the words. LYN: /whines/ That’s not it! - /tries without the backing and sings terribly XD/

C: Taiwanese Minnan. LYN: For this, I have to break out the song- LYN: For any Minnan friends in the stream, I request that you please leave and come back after five minutes. Please leave, and after five minutes I will give you a call to let you know to come back. Now all that’s left is people who can’t understand Minnan. -- 无言花 (Silent Flower) LYN: That’s about enough.

-- 爱拼才会赢 (Fight to Win) LYN: Maybe another Cantonese song, and that’s about it. If it’s Cantonese, then I have to take out the one I’m best at and most familiar with. My Cantonese is pretty perfect. Very standard. Let’s start with a slow song. -- 月半小夜曲 (Half Moon Serenade) LYN: Okay, let’s not play around anymore. I should sing a song well to end the stream. This is a Cantonese song that I like very much. Man yof you have already heard me sing it before. But my favorite- no, I can’t say that. It’s a song I really like. -- 无赖 (Rascal)

LYN: I’d like to thank you for tuning in to my stream tonight. Thank you for your support and for keeping me company tonight. It was great to have you, and I hope you had fun. Let’s meet again in the next stream. Goodnight everyone!

#Liu Yuning #lyn livestream #(2:38:29)

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