#Chapter 3: At a Gas Station Just the Two of Us (well not really) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iceprincessviviane · 1 year

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Chapter 3 - New in the town.

Heritage series.

Pairing: poly!BTS (Demons) x Female!Shy!Skinny!Chosen!Reader

Type: dark romance, horror au, soulmate au, ploy relationship, slowburn, yandere.

Warnings: Horror themes, some religion themes (mostly demonic), gore, blood, dreams, manipulation, witchcraft, magic themes, death (side characters), mentionings of forced marriage, mentioning about past, loss, yandere, obsessive, possessive, swearing, low self-esteem,dealing with grief, sugestive content and silly jokes created by me. (If there is more to add let me know.)

Previous chapter. Next chapter.

Summary: new town, new peopple. Accomodating might be hard, but small steps should be enough. As long as there is not any problems, everything is good.

Author's note: this chapter also might be longer because of town's description. I hope the introduction of members won't be too cheesy and cringe 😌 English isn't my first language so sorry for any mistakes.

MINORS DNI

Y/N woke up without any alarm's help. The night was peacefuly, she even dreamt about the forest around the city, for the next three day, she didn't have to log in the work, so had all time to figured out things with mansion. After doing a morning routine and eating yet again sandwiches, she got a text from Jungkook, he'll show up with a man who can rent her a car. Y/N went outside since it was pretty warm, got a closer look to an old tree and through gate to separted garden, then opened main gate. Not even five minutes went by, when two pick ups parked, from first got out Jungkook, now in baggy clothes and free failing hair, from second man in his mid fifties with a cigarette and hat.

"Good morning miss." He shook her hand.

"Good morning, nice to meet you." She said with little smile.

"So Jungkook told me you looking for a car to rent. It happens that this one is sitting at garage for like two months and I don't need it, but well it's quite a big one."

Y/N glanced at blue, goodlooking pick up. It clearly looked like not used, because there wasn't a personal stuff.

"I just need something to be able to get to the town down below and back here." She explained honestly.

"Oh, so it's perfect it's nice and reliabe car, just my brother left it, because he's abroad."

Man proceed to show her all the papers, confirming that it's well treated car and it won't just let her down.

"I think it's what I am looking for. What's the price of the rent?" She asked really convinced.

"We can summed up things right before your leaving, I don't want to take too much since you'll be just using it in town." Man said honestly.

Jungkook was observing their conversation quietly. His car was bigger and was black. He leaned on it's door and crossed his arms.

"Okay, I will fill it if it'll be necessary and maybe you have someone to confirm about the bills?" Y/N suggested little clueless.

"Yea they know me at gas station, so they'll know that you are renting my car." Man smiled.

Y/N signed the contract and they have exchanged the hand shake. Jungkook showed his bunny smile.

"Thanks Jungkook."

"It's okay buddy, get in the car I'll drive you to the town." He said and opened door for a man.

"I'll be also going there but a little later. Gotta buy some groceries etc." She said honestly.

"Sure, there shouldn't be a lot of people that early. Call me if you'll need something." Jungkook flashed her bunny smile and entered the pick up.

They drove away and Y/N came back into mansion. She grabbed bag with wallet, remembering to have her driving license, along with some plastic bags to carry groceries and list. After closing each window and door she opened earlier, than main gate, everything was ready to set off. Drive to town wasn't long, she even parked right under supermarket, nice it wouldn't be problem to pack it. There were also shopping carts so another advantage. Inside were a lot of aisles filled with everything, than further ones with fridges, fruits and vegetables, general food, meat and even with clothes, AGD and supplies. It was perfect, Y/N needed everythig at once. First she went with food, buying everything with long expiration date, some fresh fruits and vegetables, some meat to freeze and left for then. A lot of drinks like juice, water, tea and some coca cola. She equiped herself with a lot of clearing tools, bags for vaccuming, pair of gloves and trash bags. Then went bathroom and kitchen supplies. Her cart was almost full, when she was checking what left and turned out Y/N forgot transparent foil. She was about to reach for it, don't know who thought that placing it on higher shelf was a good idea, unfortunately she tripped and fell straight into a stranger, which was also buying something. He let go of book holding under an arm to catch her and helped stand straight.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, I'm clumsy." She apologized looking up.

Her eyes met chocolote ones with glasses and concerned face. He was way more taller than she, thick arms and silver hair. Y/N breathed heavily in, second handsome man she met in span of two days. Except that he wore crisp, neat shirt with rolled sleeves and ubuttoned a little. Trousers were from fine, checked material and leather, elegant shoes.

"Eveything all right, you good Miss?"

"Yes, yes." She released breath shakily. "Your book!"

She crouched down to pick it up. She took it carefuly and glanced at title, small gasp left her lips and small smile appeard on them.

"Dante Alighieri Divine Comedy?" Y/N asked looking at stranger suprisingly.

He smiled back and nodded. "Yes, it's occupying lately my mind." He took it from her. "Did you read it?"

"Yes, around year ago and I liked it a lot."

"I'm on Prugatory. Still have a to read it and then Paradise."

He glanced at her cart full of different things and his smile widened showing the cutest diamples she has ever seen.

"Are you that newcomer?"

"Oh... yes, it's me." She said meekly. "The news are spreading fast here I see."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Kim Namjoon." He gave her his hand.

"Y/N L/N. I'm really sorry." She grabbed and he shook it firmly.

"It's okay, you wouldn't want to know how many times I've dropped it in the past." He scrated his nape and giggled nervously. "How's your residence here so far?"

"Ugh I've arrived here yesterday, I just checked the mansion and everything is working but I'm missing basic supplies."

"It's that one on a hill right?" Namjoon asked tilting his head slighty to left.

"Yes."

"It's a beautiful one. I'm living in another one, which is closer to town, but still in the woods."

"Oh really, you are owning it?" She asked with surprise.

"Yes, I like to nap there and sometimes inspire myself." He nodded pushing his glasses back on the nose.

Y/N could swear that this made her knees weak. She hid her heating cheeks and shuffled with cart a little.

"So are you an artist?"

Deep laugh filled the silence and smirk showed up on Namjoon's lips. He narrowed his gaze a little and looked at her from toes to head.

"No, I'm a businessman, but I do enjoy literature and art."

Y/N nodded shying away from his gaze. Who would think that such man is going to stay here? But he had right, the views and scennery were stunning, so maybe taking a break from work here worked very efficient.

"Isn't it a lethal combination?"

"Tell me." In his eyes flashed sparkle of approval.

"I think it is." A little smile appeard on her lips.

"It was nice to meet you, but I need to go. If you would want to we can grab a coffee or tea sometime." Namjoon suggested softly.

"It would be really nice."

They exchanged phone numbers and Y/N tried to hide small, plesant smile and heated cheeks. How lucky was she? Meeting another handsome and nice man during such situation? Truly strange. She paid, then left the shop with cart and put everything in car. A lot of things had to be in fridge, so it was necessary to come back to mansion. After putting everything in place and make some orders Y/N again got in the car - this time to drive around and meet the area. The main square and road was easy, but gas station was a little bit further, when the road was going into another direction. In the forest were a lot of different paths, some were just porches into forest entrances, with wooden railings, parking spots and atmospheric bowers. When she got into another one there was small, woden cabin between few trees. Y/N parked that anyone could pass through and took off, the air was fresh and full of spine smell. Silence was only but by birds and she felt warm sunshine kissing her skin. Suddenly an elder woman appeard, also with groceries obviously going to cabin direction. She looker like granny and was visibly struggling with holding the items. Unfortunately the plastic bag has given up and all things rolled into ground. She gasped and Y/N immediately rushed to aid her.

"Please let me help."

She crouched down to pick up food first to prevent dirtying it. She used her spare bag from a purse and put those in, the focused on rest.

"Do you live here ma'am?" She asked pointing at cabin.

"Yes my dear, thank you for help." Elder give her geniue smile.

"It's nothing."

They both reached cabin older woman opened the door revealing small and cozy living room with an table, couch, chairs and plush armchair on which was lying small, black as night cat with emerald green eyes. It rose head when women appeard and observed them carefuly. Room was shared with open kitchen which was filled with cupboards, stove, countertops under a walls and small fridge. Y/N put everything on a countertop.

"Is it everything? Do you need anything more?"

"Yes sweetie, thank you a lot." Grandma said and sat on the chair to take a breath.

Cat jumped off the armchair, stretched out and walked to owner, rubbing it's whole body against her legs. She smiled and petted it's head affecionate. Y/N smiled at sight, but in no time white cat with black spots in whole body appeard and meowed softly.

"Do you have a catfood here? I can set it up, since you have to nap ma'am."

"It should be in the bag."

There was a bowls under a wall, so she filled them with food which was bought. Three more cats showed up and black one abandoned owner to eat.

"Oh there's a lot of them." Y/N smiled.

"Mostly they are stray, but I feed them since this forest is dangerous."

"Oh I heard about the wolfs."

"You are the newcomer right love?"

"Yes it's me Y/N L/N" she introduced herself and nodded respectfuly.

"You can call me Annise, looks like Emerald started to already like you."

They both looked down and saw the black cat rubbing it's body against her legs, with tail high standing.

"Can I pet it?"

Grandma nodder and Y/N crouched and ran her fingers through cat's smooth fur. It purred softly then meowed and looked at her with big, green eyes.

"It's beautiful."

"Yeah, Emerald is a one handsome boy."

"Do you have a phone ma'am? I can help you a little when I'm free, you live pretty far from main part of the city."

"I have it, thank you but I don't want to bother you sweetie. I heard rumors that you are here for an important thing." Elder woman stated with shy tone.

"Well yes, but it seems it'll take a time and now don't even started so I can be helpful."

Grandma smiled and they exchange phone numbers. She also suggested Y/N to stay a while, when she prepared tea and took out a cookies from a shelf. Emerald jumped on her lap, when she sat at the table, she explained briefly how the case with mansion is going and described how it looks for now.

"You a brave girl coming here all alone." Annise summed up with respect.

"I kinda had no choice, but when officials issued everything, it wasn't that scary. The manor is very big and I admit that it's overwhelming, but I hope everything be all right and I wanna take care of it in a sake of my late aunt."

"Yes, but also living now deep in the forest for a town girl might be uncomfortable." Grandma looked up at her.

"For now I'm trying not to complain but nature here looks beautiful."

"Just be careful and watch out about a weather."

Y/N nodded and the conversation went for a while. After an noon she excused herself and thanked for a cookies. She had to come back and eat a dinner, also wanted to look after a mansion a little. Emerald didn't took off his shining eyes of her, till the door closed. Cat looked at his owner.

"Gosh she's lovely..." Annise stated with sad sigh.

"We have to start act immediately." Emerald growled a little and stretched again.

"Yes... the necklace won't be enough."

}*{

When Y/N came back to the mansion, it was late noon and she could feel her stomach growling. After preparing something ready to eat, which she bought in the shop, the tour around the mansion begin once more, but now she chose locked garden. The gate creaked loudly when she opened it with rosary key and looked inside. The stone path was cleared and grass actualy was cut and neat. It was a little strange, but maybe some gardener was sent here before her arrival. Y/N went deeper, where the trees starter and dry fountain can be found. Some birds were chirped and warm sun went out of the clouds shining at sunclock. It felt unreal, like she got transported into another time and world. Good thing that garden was cleared, Y/N had zero experience with such plants and places, maybe it would need water later, those flowerbeds looked like someone would have to care about them. Something took her attention. On one of the bush branches was hanging a stick tangled with feathers and grass, she frowned a little, touching it carefuly. Was it some of children making? Some sort of bird thing? She decided to left it, when she recalled that indeed there were a nightingale living around the manor.

Y/N left the garden, it didn't need any clearing now so she decided next is a library. It was huge room with second floor, both filled with tall bookshelfes, another fireplace with cozy couch anr armchair, the windows were going through backyard, very back part of the garden. Whole library was dusty to the second floor were leading circling stairs and it was in fact a balcony, with more bookshelfes and a place wiqth desk and chair in the back, near big window. There were also sculptures and paintings, probably everything needed to be write down and inspected. Some books appeard to be very old, some were having even wooden covers. This place will definitely need some vaccuming and clearing. She came back to master bedroom, when already was an laptop and some of her things put in the order. It came out that mayor emailed her - the government started to look for an specialist and in the attachment was a list of all things which needed to be catalogued and written down. There were thousands... Y/N sighed and send it to her phone, maybe she'll find time for that. After some nap she went to close main gate, evening just started and she probably won't go anywhere, she also checked the garden, but an surprise waited for her under main door. Cat with intense grey fur and mix of yellow and green eyes waited for her and meow when she came into it's sight.

"How did you got here?" Y/N asked and animal just rubbed it's body against her legs.

It also allowed to pet it's head gently and reached a paw towards her. Girl's heart just melted and cat was allowed inside the mansion. Suprisingly it sat in the middle of big space looked around and them started to follow her upstairs. Inside her room, started clearing whole body, when Y/N was thinking what to do with him. It might be one of Annise's cat or another stray - so she couldn't let him outside on that time, if the area is really that dangerous. She had a fresh piece of fish, so she put it on a plate and filled wide bowl with water. Cat accepted it after cleaning himself. It was avarage size, for sure adult and actualy an handsome gentleman. When she briefly looked at list sent by mayor - it was so long, because there was a sections filled with books, second most wide was furniture one. After some time, the night overtook the world, the moon peeked into bedroom and Y/N decided to go to sleep. After fast shower she went into a bed and cat decided to curled near her legs which caused her heart to melt again. The shadow shapes seemed like stretching towards canopy bed, but all jumped into cat's shadow caused it to be more darker, only when it opened eyes. Nothing else dared to enter bedroom this night.

Taglist:

@hadesnewpersephone @lalavione1309

#yandere bts x reader #bts x reader #yandere bts #bts soulmate au #poly bts #supernatural #mystery #dark romance #yandere x you #horror au #demons #bts jin #bts namjoon #bts yoongi #bts hoseok #bts jimin #bts taehyung #bts jungkook #bts ff

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joelsmorality · 1 year

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EYES WIDE OPEN [3]

Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader, platonic bonding with Ellie. Summary: Somehow, you managed to find Joel and Ellie ending their journey just as you were beginning your own. After being captured in David’s resort and witnessing the horrors within, Ellie manages to save your life as she escapes and you end up staying with them for the time being at Ellie’s offer. Yet, things aren’t as they seem, and you’re also not sure if her gruff guardian won’t murder you in your sleep. Warnings: Some mild angst, Joel being hardheaded, mentions of death. Note: A bit of a shorter chapter this week, as I’m up to my neck in coursework but I had this half finished and wanted to get it out. Plus, the next one would be hard to split into two parts. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy! Tag list (to be added just leave me a comment!): @daddysfavoritesexkitten @faceache111

Previous Part.

“We’re gonna need to stop for the night.”

Despite the light sleep you had fallen into, Joel’s voice cut through that like a shot. It wasn’t like he was shouting or anything, but the sudden shift back into reality was jarring to say the least. You had curled up in the back with your head resting on the window once you had left the abandoned gas station a couple of hours ago, the dim interior of the truck telling you that you had at least fallen asleep for some of that time.

The scenery had changed, too. Less highway and more like a sort of suburb–the setting sun at least allowed you to see the boarded up houses, weeds and overgrowth crawling up walls and over the long abandoned cars that lined the street. Which made it a bit of a challenge to navigate, you could imagine. Really, you weren’t sure about stopping for the night in a neighborhood you hadn’t checked out yourself, as much as you knew Joel and Ellie could certainly defend themselves.

Considering your lack of a weapon–and not from you refusing one–it made you nervous.

“...I know how to drive,” you offered up, voice a little sleepy but your thoughts had certainly woken you up enough. “I’m pretty rested, if you want to avoid a stop.”

“Not happenin’,” Joel returned, causing you to press your lips together in a thin line, “I’ll also need to get more gas before we leave tomorrow and we should eat.”

“Well, you’re the one running the show,” you muttered, relenting in the moment.

You could understand why they (or, more likely, Joel) didn’t want you carrying a weapon, but it felt like you were being dragged along. If it had been a relaxed drive, no danger, you wouldn’t have much of an issue with that, yet things hadn’t been that way in a long time. For you, at least. You wanted to comment that leaving you unarmed and just following along was more of a liability than giving you something you could use to defend yourself. In the days following your escape it had been fine, but now you could feel a pressure building at how…open you were.

While you knew some self-defense techniques and how to throw a punch, you knew it wouldn’t do much against gunfire and some of the older infected.

It was a frustration that you carried with you while things got set up for the night in one of the abandoned houses. The place had been picked clean, furniture collecting dust and some with faded stains on them that didn’t make you want to touch them. Still, it was closed off and protected against the air outside that still had a bite to it. It was good enough for the night, at least.

Despite everything, exhaustion still hung pretty heavily on you–even with the nap you had taken in the truck. It was what had you backing down from confrontation and just getting some food into you so you could curl up and try to go back to sleep. Ellie and Joel talked between themselves for a bit, though Ellie still seemed closed off and had a look in her eyes that gave you a pang of sympathy for her.

Your offer to let her talk about everything that happened still stood, obviously, but you certainly didn’t want to push her into it.

Really, everything was still so new to you and the situation was draining you somewhat. So, you were pretty happy to try to get some rest once it had gotten late enough.

Yet, you couldn’t explain why you lay on the floor, head propped up by a relatively clean cushion, and stared at Joel’s silhouette as he sat at a table near a window. He leaned back in the chair somewhat and appeared to be holding his side, but otherwise just seemed to watch the dark street below. You rolled over with a small sigh, wrapping your arms around your torso as you tried to make the best of your uncomfortable position on the floor.

It had been easy for you to nod off in the car–the seats were at least comfortable and the rumble of the car helped ease you into a light sleep. This, however, was not really cutting it. Which had your mind wandering, mulling over a number of different things before settling back on the current issue of your frustration at feeling like you were useless in a tight situation.

You knew that if Joel was just going to sit at the window for however long that night, you could try to at least reason him into giving you a gun or something. If your presence on this journey was already annoying him, you figured you didn’t really have to worry about pushing his buttons all that much. Plus, you were trying to be cooperative and prove that you weren’t interested in betraying them, but you knew that the paranoia would just make things worse for everybody in the long run.

With another sigh, you pushed yourself up to a stand with somewhat shaky movements. You glanced over at Joel, who hadn’t moved if he had heard you get up.

Though, he did straighten up somewhat when you moved beyond the table somewhat to pull a chair over to it. The room was dark outside of the light of the moon, fortunately, but you managed to catch the look he tossed your way when you sat down.

“I’m not exactly looking for company,” he remarked lowly, likely to avoid waking Ellie. Though, knowing she had listened in on your conversation with him in the truck, you wouldn’t be surprised if she heard this one too.

“Well, I really wish I could sleep, but I really want to discuss something with you,” you replied, folding your arms on the table so you could lean on them somewhat. “I am really trying to prove that I’m not your enemy here.”

“Never claimed you were an enemy,” Joel said, “You being here is just a complication that we don’t need right now.”

“I don’t want to be a complication, either,” you said around a huff, “Yet, you seem fine with dragging me around like some prisoner. No weapons, not allowed to do anything. I feel like a sitting duck.”

“Door’s open. If you hate being with us so much, you’re free to leave.”

“Are you always this stubborn?”

Despite the darkness not letting you see his expression too clearly, that did earn you the hint of an amused look.

“I’ve been called that a few times,” he replied, shifting somewhat as he glanced toward the closed door. You still noticed him holding his side somewhat–an injury, perhaps. If it was new or old, you didn’t know.

“...I’m really trying to get you to trust me here,” you said after a few moments, letting out a small sigh through your nose. “Just a little. You don’t have to like me. I’ll probably be gone once you guys get to where you’re headed. Just, in the meantime…I’d really like to be able to protect myself a little if you won’t let me help with anything.”

“You don’t get my trust by just askin’ for it.”

“If you want me to earn it, you’ll have to let me try.”

“I don’t want anythin’ from you,” Joel said, making you lean back in your chair somewhat as you had to shove down some frustration that cropped up at his bullheadedness.

“Before the resort…” you started, tapping a hand on your leg a little in thought. “I’m not looking to give you some sob story, this isn’t that, but I’ve been on my own before. I lost a lot of people during the outbreak and in the years that followed–family, friends, my fiance. Anybody who’d look out for me was gone before I knew it. I…know what things are like out here and I know how to defend myself. I’m only decent at hand-to-hand, though. I know guns the best.”

Joel didn’t say anything for a few moments, that tightness still sitting in his expression. What little you could see of it currently, anyway.

“I know it’s a lot to ask…” you continued, “We’re strangers, I get it. However, if you really don’t want me to burden whatever it is you’re doing, giving me a means to protect myself is the best way to do that.”

It would help with your paranoia and anxiety, considering you never really knew who or what could be lurking behind any corner. As much as you wished that getting Joel to give you some leeway wasn’t such an uphill battle, you could understand it to a degree. The infected were dangerous, sure, but it was always the people you had to watch out for in the end.

There was only so much trust you could give strangers, these days.

Though, you couldn’t help but notice the way Joel seemed to regard you for a few moments, a slight shift in his expression before he let out a small breath and glanced out toward the street through the window again.

“We’re gonna need to get some gas tomorrow,” he continued, “some supplies, too. We still have a long drive ahead of us, so I wanted to see if there’s anything in the houses around here. I’ll…see about letting you help. It’ll get us out of here quicker.”

You couldn’t help the small grin that crossed your face, raising your hands somewhat in, what you hoped was, a good-hearted gesture.

“That’s all I’m asking for,” you said around a soft chuckle, getting up from the chair, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

***

The sleep you got was shit. That was expected, however.

You dragged that lingering exhaustion with you the following morning, though you were used to the feeling. Unfortunately. It was hard to tell when the last time you had a full night’s sleep, let alone in a good bed, but you knew anything was better than where you had just come from. Still, you were the last one to get up, knowing you were going to feel the ache of a long night sleeping on a hardwood floor.

You were…hopeful, however. It felt like you had made a couple steps forward with Joel, as much as you would hesitate to say you were particularly friendly with each other. Still, you just wanted to feel like you were doing something.

So, you were hopeful that he’d trust you enough to let you have something to defend yourself with. You hadn’t really been joking the night before when you said you felt like some sort of prisoner–no weapons, stay close-by so Joel could keep an eye on you, the suspicion at you attempting to offer a hand with anything. You weren’t planning on being best friends with the man, but you wanted to show that you weren’t looking to be a problem for him either.

At the same time, you could understand his hesitancy and you weren’t surprised to see it on his face once it seemed like they wanted to set out to dig around the neighborhood a bit that morning.

“There’s only so many bullets left in the clip, so make them count,” he said after a few moments, handing you a pistol with a sharp look in his eyes, “Don’t make me regret this.”

“...I wasn’t planning on it,” you replied in a mutter, weighing the weapon in your hands before watching as he approached Ellie.

It was almost night and day with how he treated you in comparison to her, considering the fondness in his tone, the concern that she brushed off with an eagerness to get back out on the road. You didn’t know what happened with them, but it was clear that they had bonded. You couldn’t exactly say you had made any close friends over the last handful of years (and then some, if you were being honest) but it was a strangely isolating experience. As much as you didn’t want to think about it too much, you knew that if David had succeeded, your death would have been easy to cover up.

Shaking your head, you let out a small breath as you headed toward the front door. Regardless of the awkwardness, it was still progress and at least you could feel somewhat better about being back out in the open again.

Tucking the gun away, you followed Joel and Ellie out into the street.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 3 months

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Rules of the Harem (Rule 3)

The days to day life in the mansion makes one appreciate even the briefest moment of tranquility, even something as simple as a dinner together.

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader

(Fluff)

1.3k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, nudity, crude humor, shit, fingering mention (see: crude humor), use of pet names (good boy), drug use, alcohol, makeouts

An: Thank you so much for your love for this series! I had a great time writing this chapter even though it’s more numerous than romantic :) Still, I think you’ll really enjoy it. Thank you for all the requests and please keep sending them in!

Dinner was always a special thing at your place. Since the guys slept through breakfast and, due to the previous night’s drinking, were too hung over for lunch, it was the one meal everyone ate together. Hell, it sure beat the gas station coffee and snacks they were living off during filming before they met you, so they couldn’t really complain. However, this arrangement led to the one rule of the house that was universally hated- collared shirts at dinner. See, due to the fact you were dining off of silver in this huge room with marble floors, it was a principle of the place to dress up a little because you thought that it would feel wrong to be shirtless while you ate nice steaks (except for a Chris, who was vegetarian). This was the only rule everyone tried to skirt around in one way or another, to varying degrees of success.

By virtue of the proximity of the living room to the kitchen, Johnny was the first to arrive to eat, and since the loungey linen shirts he wore while he sat around all day by the stone fireplace like some playboy technically had a sort of collar, he was good. Then came Chris with Steve in tow after he fished the latter’s half awake body out of your closet or wherever he was. Steve was the only exception to this rule because it was a miracle that he showed up in the first place, so you could excuse his usual attire of oversized sweatshirts and baggy jeans. Chris, on the other hand, found an interesting loophole: though technically not a shirt, the party boy outfit did feature a collar and cuffs, and you didn’t mind staring at him like that while you ate, so you let it slide. Ryan was the only one who’d actually go along with it, usually showing up in a nice polo or something else relaxed, leaving Bam. Getting that man to dress nice was like getting a cat into a bathtub, an apt metaphor given that it might as well have taken two people grabbing him under the arms to get him to the table.

The smug look on Bam’s face told you he really thought he was beating the system tonight. He sat down at the table in a white dress shirt, a pair of sneakers, and…that’s it. You couldn’t deny that he certainly had confidence, not even batting an eye when Ryan shot a glance down at his lap and snickered as he sat down. Johnny cleared his throat, muttering under his breath, “Attention whore…” But Bam just grinned, looking so damn proud at himself, “Hey, she likes it!” Well, you couldn’t deny that.

Any conversation held in the dining room sounded grandiose as it echoed off of the thirty foot, vaulted ceilings, no matter how…crass the subject matter, “So today,” Johnny swallowed the bite of food he had in this mouth, “the boys came up with this real fun trick to pull in the van- s’called the rusty hook.” Steve, who was rarely a man of any words, piped up, “I’ll take it from here. See, what you do is-“ Given his usual silence and the nature of what he was detailing, nobody minded that he butted in and instead just sat, intently listening to him as he mimed his words, “you start by stickin’ a finger in your ass, right?” Chris interrupted Steve’s interrupting, “As all good things start.” “And then, you lean over and hook it into the other guy’s cheek- like a fish hook!” As he regaled this genius trick, out of the corner of your eye, you caught Ryan mimicking Steve’s instructions, before leaning over to Bam and, taking advantage of his distraction, spearing his hooked finger into his open mouth. Bam was so startled that he tipped backwards and fell out of his chair, landing with his ankles in the air and his back against the marble floors. As he scrambled to his feet, Ryan had to play damage control, “Dude- dude! I didn’t do it! I was just joking, man!” Bam spat, “I don’t care! When’s the last time you washed your hands- when’s the last time you showered?”

Speaking of Bam, there was this little song and dance the two of you did once a night when it came to dinner, and as things settled down and he got back in his seat, call time was nearing. “So…I see you haven’t touched your asperges hollandaise?” Squinting down into the steam billowing from his plate, Bam scoffed, “That’s what it’s called?” Nobody really questioned what you served them because they were thankful for the free food- well, nobody except Bam. “Fuck no. I don't eat any of that weird shit.” Sighing, you tried to ignore the very inappropriate way Chris was eating his asparagus as you reasoned with Bam, “Come on, it’s good for you!” This was the same argument you had when you insisted for him to drink water instead of living off of the cases of energy drinks his sponsors sent him. “‘Good for me’? I’m a grown ass man! What’re you, my mom?” Ryan, who was eating his pommes parisienne like a sailor, gestured at him with his fork and suggested he just be a good boy and do what you say because, “Who knows? Maybe you’ll gain a few inches.” Though it was a jab at his height, Johnny took it as something else, snickering from the far end of the table. It didn’t help that Chris’ fellating of the vegetable course was getting pretty heated (especially with the way the cream sauce was getting on his mouth) and, in an act of perfect timing, whatever pills Steve scrounged around for in his pocket and threw back with a mouthful of wine were starting to kick in, and he promptly fell face first into his food, asleep.

Sitting back in his chair like he’s the man of the house and the other guys were mere boys, Johnny chuckled, gesturing to one side, “Can someone get Steve?” Grabbing him by the hood of his jacket, Chris easily lifted him up his limp body as he moved his plate, before dropping him and letting his head hit the table with a loud thunk. Steve let out a pained groan as he blinked awake for a moment before quickly drifting back off to sleep again. Ryan just held out his wine glass for the fifth time to the man who was standing at his side with the bottle. While he was distracted, Bam nudged his untouched asperges hollandaise onto his plate.

Rum custard charlotte russe- that’s what was for dessert. The waiters whisked away the bowls of tomato bisque and the salmon timbale as they placed the serving plate on the table. And while the guys were chatting and laughing at the fact that the only thing that could wake Steve up was the smell of alcohol as they enjoyed their desserts, you and Johnny snuck off to the kitchen for a different kinda dessert. Giggling, you were hoisted onto the granite kitchen counter by Johnny’s strong hands as he pressed his lips against yours, deepening the kiss. Sure, he was discreet, but he had no qualms about whisking you away in the middle of something if the two of you were in the mood.

But it was long after everybody had finished eating, and the two of you were still going at it. “You think we should step in?” Ryan just shrugged at Chris’ question, taking another sip of his wine, “Ah, forget it. Let the lovebirds have their fun.”

#jackass #johnny knoxville #bam margera #ryan dunn #steve o #chris pontius #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #jackass x reader #fluff #johnny knoxville x reader

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molgars · 3 months

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here's a little demo of a sapphic song i've been writing. posting for pride haha

lyrics under cut

she was baptized in the brackish water she never was her father's daughter left her muddy on the docks i skip heartbeats; she skips rocks the grass grows---it don't know how not to tries to touch the sun just because it's got to but some love stories only play out at night, like two moths dancing in the porch light and i just wanna drag her down keep her in this one horse town we'll kiss 'neath gas station fluorescents and swear to leave as if we meant it sit in church on the morning after speak in half-truths to the pastor my prayers fall prey to the false prophets, golden calves in levi cutoffs, and long hair you could tie a noose with, play truth or dare and not pick truth with well, there goes our little neighborhood who knew sin would taste so damned good?

and i just wanna drag her down keep her in this one horse town we'll kiss 'neath gas station fluorescents and swear to leave as if we meant it

but maybe one day not so far from now, she'll see her worth and pack her bags and ditch this town head for somewhere big and beautiful and meet the kind of person who can feed her soul and i'll just be a footnote down in chapter one inconsequential memory of where she's from but i'll still think about her when it's 3 a.m. and write her drunken letters that i'll never send

cuz I don’t really wanna drag her down and trap her here forever in this one horse town pin her like a butterfly to keep her near cuz she deserves a whole lot more than what’s right here

yeah I don’t want to be the reason that she stays and then looks back resentful of her bygone days but late at night when I buy wine at 7 eleven at least it’ll be comforting that one of us meant it

#pride #a post #music #lesbians #sapphic #gay

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strawberrygrapesandcherry · 10 months

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(Current wip for chapter 3 of the red means I love you. Hope y’all like it. Let me know what y’all think, if you want to that is. Anyways, enjoy these idiots)

“You know if you keep making me drive you to places, you’re going to need to start chipping in for gas,” Theo says while he looks to his right at the annoying beta in his passenger seat.

“This is only like the third time I’ve asked you,” Liam argues back.

“This week. That’s how many times you’ve asked me this week,” Theo corrects while both his eyebrows rise higher up his forehead. “Actually it’s in the last three days.”

In Liam’s defence, his parents couldn’t pick him up after lacrosse that week so why would he take the bus when he knows the chimera would pick him up. He could also argue that he doesn’t make Theo do anything. He only asks, so it’s’ not like he’s holding him at gun point.

“Okay but it still isn’t that much, and most of the time you’ve just driven me to where we needed to go.”

Theo chuckles at this. “You’re quite the freeloader aren’t you?”

“Well does it even count if we’re going to the same place? Because technically the car doesn’t care how many of us are in it.” He might actually have a point on that because it’s not like he’s asking Theo to drive him to the mall or something. They have a pack meeting to attend and while Theo was cautious about going because he’s not pack, Liam had insisted. That and Argent who was arguably more terrifying than Liam could ever be.

“Still treating me like a chauffeur Liam,” he points out, and he knows he’s right when Liam levels him an unimpressed look.

“Okay but you have to admit you like my company.” Now Liam’s face was over taken by a small gotcha kind of smile.

“What makes you think that?”

“Because if you really wanted me gone you would have done it by now and I wouldn’t be in the car.” Again, Liam might have a point here, but Theo is more likely to accept Malia beating him to death, than the implication that he enjoys being around people. Especially Liam.

“Is that so? What if I just pullover now and drop you on the side of the road?”

Okay, that actually makes Liam scoff in disbelief. “You won’t,” he says in absolute confidence.

“You wanna test me on that?” Theo quips while raising one brow.

“Maybe I do."

Now its Theo’s turn to scoff because he knows Liam has him backed up. It was obvious from the moment he suggested kicking Liam out that it would never work. Even now he can’t get himself to chase Liam away.

“You’re lucky we actually have to go to the station right now,” Theo says while hoping to establish that he is not surrendering. Liam is wrong.

“Yeah right, cuz that’s the only reason,” Liam teases.

“It is.”

“Nuh uh,” Liam counters in mocking tone as he smiles all smug and slowly nods his head.

“Liam are you serious? Fuck do you mean nuh uh, what are you a child?”

“For the love of god, I cannot listen to you two anymore.” Poor Mason has been sitting there— and Corey but he’s been quiet— listening to these two goons going and fourth with their bickering. He should really make a note of not sharing a ride with them ever again.

(Ahhhh I’m so excited to finish the next chapter!!!!!)

#thiam #theo raeken #liam dunbar #thiam fanfic #ao3 fanfic #i love these idiots #Theo has no backbone and can’t say no to Liam #Thiam wip

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xieyouji-xiegushi · 1 year

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Just What I Needed (Chapter 3)

Cross-posting my fics while AO3 is down! This is a multi-chapter fic; please check out the contents page for additional tags, overall CWs and other chapters before reading!

Title: Just What I Needed (Chapter 3)

Fandom: Supernatural

Rating: E

Ship: Destiel

Chapter 3 CWs: none

Summary: All Sam and Dean have to their names right now is $200, a '67 Chevy Impala, and a lead.

Dean dropped Sam off outside the library. Sam waved, wishing him a good date and reminding him to be careful. Dean was relaxed. He’d managed to wash his hair under a standpipe at the gas station earlier, and he had one of his last clean shirts on. He knew he didn’t exactly look his best, but at least Castiel probably wouldn’t be able to guess that he was effectively homeless.

He parked two blocks away from the Cheesecake Factory at precisely 6.45, giving him enough time to walk the rest of the way. He didn’t like to park right outside in case his jilted date tried to follow him. It wouldn’t do to have some angry guy memorising his plates. He walked briskly, not because he was cold, but actually a little excited. He tried to contain himself, but it was a long time since he’d been on anything that had even the semblance of a real date. He might have been out here scamming older guys for food, but they were out to get something for themselves too. He just didn’t usually give it to them.

Reminding himself that, no matter how pleasant the target, this was still just a scam, Dean hurried inside. Castiel was waiting just inside of the door. He smiled when he saw Dean.

“Aaron, I presume?”

“That’s me. Shall we grab a table?”

“Yes, we should.”

After they were situated, with two glasses of water and their food on the way, Castiel decided it was time to start the conversation.

“I hope this is okay. The restaurant, I mean. I never feel comfortable at expensive places.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I get that.” Dean did get it. He was all about quantity over quality, especially recently.

“Good,” Castiel responded, before falling silent. Dean waited for a couple of minutes, but there was no follow-up. Odd. Maybe Castiel was nervous. Okay, Dean could work with that.

“So, uh, do you come here often?”

Dean kicked himself internally. Why was that the thing that came out of his mouth? If he’d had a brain, he’d be dangerous.

“No, I do not frequent the Cheesecake Factory. I mainly eat at home,” Castiel answered the question, apparently taking it at face value. He looked down at his drink. More silence. Dean began to feel a bit awkward. The conversation just wasn’t flowing the way it had seemed to earlier. It was… weird.

“Hey, uh, are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes. Sorry. My people skills are… rusty. I mainly talk to computers. I haven’t been on a proper date since… well, I can’t remember, actually. I’ve forgotten what to do.”

Dean laughed gently. That made two of them.

“Well, you were pretty conversational earlier. Just stick with that.”

“Oh. That. Texting is easier than face to face interactions. And the questions thing – I, uh, saw that on stackexchange. I’m nowhere near that smooth in real life.”

Well, that made sense. Dean felt just the smallest twinge of disappointment, but he shelved it. If the date was bad, he wouldn’t feel guilty for cutting out early.

“I think, this is the part where I ask you to tell me about yourself, is it not?” Castiel continued. “How long have you been in town?”

“Just a few days. You’re local?”

“Yep, born and bred. You here for long?”

“Not sure yet. Probably not. We move around a lot.”

“We?”

Damn. Dean usually went out of his way to avoid giving any personal information to his dates. Castiel was more observant than he was used to. Most of the guys he went out with just wanted to talk about themselves. Oh well, he supposed he could give a few details, as long as they weren’t identifying.

“Yeah, I’m with my family. My Dad, and my kid brother.”

“Your dad? How old did you say you were again?”

“I didn’t, but I’m 24.” Dean lied. Really, he was 20, but a lot of guys were put off by that, and the ones that weren’t tended to be trouble. “Family business. I help out and take care of Sammy.”

“That sounds pleasant. I haven’t seen my brothers for a long time. They’re not… the best people.”

Oh. Okay. Awkward, and a little oversharing. Castiel wasn’t really what Dean had expected, but, somehow, he found that he didn’t mind. It was honestly just nice to meet someone who liked to listen as much as talk.

“Sorry to hear that, man. Having a brother… it’s awesome. Sammy’s the greatest kid. Does good in school, everyone likes him, you know. Never gets in trouble. Give him some apple pie and he’s happy as Larry.”

Dean lit up when he was talking about Sam, and Castiel noticed, smiling at him softly. It was a kind smile. It made Dean feel warm. Not many people looked at him like that these days.

“What’s the family business?”

“Oh, you know. Contracting. Short jobs, different cities, that sort of thing. We mostly live on the road.”

“Sounds interesting. Tiring, I imagine, but it must feel… freeing.” If Castiel had noticed how Dean had deflected the question, he didn’t comment. “I’m chained to a desk most days, I’m afraid. Not a very exciting life.”

“Well, thank god you met me,” Dean quipped, before his curiosity got the better of him. “Actually, if this is your first date in a while… why did you ask me out?”

“I don’t know. I hadn’t even opened Grindr in, oh, must’ve been months. Today I just decided to check it out, see what’s out there, and there you were, right at the top. I didn’t know you’d just come into town. But it seems, I don’t know, serendipitous.”

As he said this, Castiel met Dean’s eyes, and held his gaze for the longest they had managed so far. Dean could tell that he was completely sincere. He almost found himself agreeing. Castiel’s eyes were truly striking. Dean felt like he was at risk of answering any question Castiel asked as long as he was looking into his eyes.

Their food arrived, and Castiel got to work on his quickly, with Dean taking it considerably slower. The conversation was moving more naturally now. They talked about Castiel’s job, which sounded just as boring as he claimed it was, their hobbies (Dean left several off the list), music, and a bit more about their families. Dean was careful not to give anything else away. Castiel didn’t go into much detail about his, either. What he did say made it sound pretty complicated. Dean could relate. Neither of them pried beyond what they were willing to share.

Dean almost jumped out of his chair when he felt his phone ring. He quickly checked his watch – how was it 8.30 already? He hadn’t been looking at the time at all. He supposed he had just been enjoying Castiel’s company.

“Sorry, I gotta take this.”

“No problem.”

Dean walked away from the table and answered the phone.

“Hi, Sammy.”

“Ready to go?”

Dean hesitated, glancing back at Castiel, who was still sitting at the table. God, he was good-looking. A tiny part of him wanted to stay.

“Dean? Come on, I’m hungry.”

“Right, right. Sorry. I’ll be right there.”

He hung up and returned to the table. No need for a fake frown; he actually felt bad about leaving. Castiel clearly didn’t go out much. Dean felt like he was wasting a rare opportunity for him.

“Castiel, I’m so sorry. I have to go. My Dad has to go to work, so I gotta go home and take care of Sammy. Sorry, I was supposed to have the night free.”

Castiel was silent for a few seconds, before turning his face towards Dean with an understanding expression.

“It’s okay. Here, let’s get your food packed up.” He motioned for a waiter to come to the table. “Could we get this food to go? And add an apple pie to that, and the bill, please.”

“Apple pie?”

“Sammy’s favourite, right?”

Dean was taken aback. Now he felt really guilty.

“Hey, Aaron, I had a great time tonight. Could I get your number?”

“What? Oh, right, of course.”

Dean had been asked this after a date before of course. This time, though, he gave Castiel his real number. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket as Castiel drop-called him.

“There, now you’ve got mine. Ah, and just in time,” he said, as the waiter returned with the food. He handed the bags to Dean, who accepted them gratefully. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

“Uh, sure. Thanks, Castiel. Be seeing you.”

“I hope so.”

Dean turned and half-ran out of the restaurant. Castiel would hopefully assume it was because he was rushing home, but really Dean just didn’t know how to respond. When he got back to the car, he pulled out his phone and saved Castiel’s number, grinning stupidly. Yeah, he was totally smitten.

He got back to the library at 8.55. Sam was waiting.

“You’re late.”

“Five minutes! And I got you pie.”

“What? How did you manage that?”

“The guy. He ordered it.”

Sam gave him a sidelong look. “And? How was it?”

“It was nice. He was nice.”

“That’s good. Shame you’re not gonna see him again.”

Dean felt a slight pang of sadness. “Right. Yeah. I’m not into second dates, anyway.”

There was a faint buzzing sound, which Dean realised had come from his phone. He opened it to check the notification. Grindr. He opened it, just to see what it was.

u into older

________________

Well, it was a bit soon after his last date, but maybe Dean could book in dinner for later in the week. It would give him one less thing to worry about.

i’m open

________________

Good start. Not shutting it down, but not looking like he was into it either. Dean had discovered that if he came on too strong, they didn’t feel as inclined to spend money on him.

u avail?

[location]

here

now

________________

Yikes.

buy a guy dinner first?

i’m free tomorrow

________________

no dinner

1 hr

p2p

200

u come or not?

________________

Dean wracked his brain. What was ‘p2p’, again? Drugs? No, drugs was ‘pnp’, or sometimes ‘pArty’. No, ‘p2p’ was… oh, right. Pay to play. 200. That must’ve meant $200. Damn.

Dean was under no illusion exactly what he would be doing for that $200. To be honest, he’d considered it before, sometime after they got down to their last $500. He just hadn’t really known how to actually, you know, find a job.

pics?

________________

[image]

________________

Well, one out of those three was not exclusively a dick pic. The guy was definitely older than Dean, but still only looked to be about early 50s. He wasn’t stunningly attractive or anything, but not bad. Dean made up his mind.

just got off work

can I shower at your place?

________________

sure

________________

be right there

________________

Dean looked over at Sam, who was working on his food.

“Hey, Sammy. I’ve gotta go, uh, take care of something. I’m gonna bring the car, so you just lock yourself in, alright? It won’t take long.”

“Where are you going? Hunting? Can I come?”

“No, and no. It’s just… a thing. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Okay, sure. Just be careful, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.”

Dean sped across town and parked two streets away from the location. He grabbed his phone, leaving the car keys with Sam. He reached the house and rang the doorbell, hopping nervously from one foot to the other. The man opened the door and looked him up and down.

“Hi. Come in.”

“Thanks.” Dean ducked inside, heading straight to the bathroom. In his haste, he missed the text that came through to his phone.

Hey, Aaron. Did you make it home okay?

- Castiel: 21.20

#fandom #fanfiction #ao3 #fanfic #destiel #deancas #supernatural #castiel supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #ao3 fic #ao3 down

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walkiingcandle · 2 years

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Till Death Do Us Part. // Bo sinclair x Gn!Reader

Warnings (future chapters): Violence, character death mention, arguments, screaming, cursing, suggestive comments, mention of past relationships.

I wrote this while in a car w/ family 😋 enjoy <3!

(new) music for this chapter:

How many hours has it been? Had to atleast be maybe six hours? The sun had went down a few hours ago. Staring into the fire I had made the decision to go to the damn town myself, nick sure as hell wasn't gonna put the beer down to go and looks for our friends and his sister. Getting up from my chair I went to my tent and started packing everything back into my backpack.

crunch.

Turning to look and see who the person was, it ended up being just nick. great. "Where the hell mare you going?" he looked at the bag in my hand and other personal belongings in the other, "to look for the rest of the group. I'm tired of sitting on my ass and waiting on them to come back." He sighed and left, back to his seat and started to grab his belongings as well.

Finally after packing all we could fit onto bags, we were walking towards the town. It was an awkward quietness, tension you could cut with a knife. Finally nick spoke, "Listen y/n- I'm sorry about our past. I fucked up with the constant arrests and that's on me. It's been weird- seeing you after this. I-just- nevermind." I stayed quiet, after his speech and the owning up to his mistakes. I had no idea what to say, therefore I kept my silence.

We made it, after a decent size walk, we have made it to the town. Now to find that mechanic guy. Bo? Bob? Robert? one of those names, couldn't exactly put my finger on the right one. Looking around at the surroundings, it looked somewhat vacant? it had a eerie vibe to it, a cold shiver went down my spine, making me shiver.

We kept looking around, splitting up in the process. I went to the gas station while Nick went a separate way, easier to cover ground. I opened the glass door, a tiny bell above my head rang signaling someone had entered the store. "Hello?" calling out and looking at the items stacking the shelves of the store, a man came out from the back. He was tall, maybe 6 foot? dark brown almost black hair, sweaty, and was wearing a long sleeve shirt and a pair of tight jeans, nice. "Can I help you?" he asked, his voice was deep, just the right amount of deep monotone to it, "hi, uh, I'm looking for my friends. Two, Carly and Wade had come in with a man named, uh, lester? yes. Then Paige and Blake, I'm really worried since they haven't come back to the campsite for hours." He nodded, furrowed browns, a thinking look on his face. "No, don't think I've saw them, you sure they came in?" nodding and his lips became a straight line. "I'm gonna go and meet up with my other friend, thanks for all your help sir." He nodded tipping his hat at me and walked back to the back of the store.

Me and Nick were sitting on the curb, trying to decide what the next move would be in this great adventure that we were currently on. "I say we find a hotel or somewhere in this ghost town to crash, and pick this up in the morning." looking at the ground, thinking and racking my brain for what the hell we could do, this was a dead end. I knew Nick was right, we were gonna run out of energy continuously looking around and it all being dead ends. I nodded, and we stood, now on the hunt for a sleeping spot.

Little did we know, bo was watching, waiting like a predator for the perfect time to strike its prey.

He was gonna have you. You were gonna be his.

Tags:

#bo sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #house of wax #slashers x reader #slasher community #slashers #vincent sinclair #lester sinclair #brian van holt #Spotify

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alovesongshewrote · 2 years

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Is There a Doctor on this Plane? (Yes, yes there is.) - P5 | Eddie Munson x Reader

Plot: you and eddie move to canada. dustin and steve figure something out and they aren't allowed to talk about it. eddie is sad. [Eddie Munson x Gender Neutral!Reader] Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Word count: 4,260

Warnings: i don't think this chapter has any, actually

Disclaimer: Uh, yeah, fuck netflix, and fuck whoever came up with having a "stranger things experience" in a former n*zi prison where jewish and romani people were exterminated. that's an incredibly fucked up thing to do, and i do not support or endorse it.

A/N: so, funny story, the rest of this story is actually written, so if you want it all today, lmk

Tags: @twistedhistory @keepingitlokiii

Canada wasn’t as cold as you expected it to be. Yeah, sure, the weather wasn’t exactly pleasant, but whoever told you that the northern country was full of snow 24/7 was a fucking liar. The country had some other positives, too. There were a few examples, but the most prevalent in your opinion was that the Canadian police weren’t hunting Eddie.

It was a lucky break, really, that Mr. Munson had a friend up north with an entire spare dwelling that they just weren’t using. After a few calls, that spare house was set to become a safe one. Eddie was going to hide out there until Hopper finally cleared his name- and you were going with him.

As a medical student and one of Eddie’s oldest friends, you were the best choice to watch over him. You knew it, Eddie knew it, and Mr. Munson knew it so well that he made you promise to take care of his nephew. You did. You couldn’t say no to that ask.

This led to the most awkward and uncomfortable road trip of your fucking life. It wasn’t exactly a vacation for Eddie, either. Steve and Dustin had a good time, though.

They’d agreed to help you and Eddie move and by god, were they making the most of it. They didn’t seem to mind that they were split up the whole time. You made sure one of them always sat beside you, and the other sat beside Eddie, keeping the two of you separate so you wouldn’t have to address the emotional elephant in the room.

Steve and Dustin didn’t even mind the shitty car that you’d acquired. They just chatted away, talking about whatever came to their minds. Occasionally, Eddie would join them. You only joined in once, and that was to correct Steve when he referred to Bilbo Baggins as “Blorbo Bagguy.” Nice work, Steve.

Your silence didn’t go unnoticed, though. Steve, Dustin, and Eddie were all aware that something was up with you- they’d been aware of it since you suddenly left the hospital room the day Eddie woke up.

They all had different theories, of course. Eddie thought you hated him. He thought you were so pissed at him for dying in front of Dustin that you just never wanted to speak to him again. Steve and Dustin were less dramatic. They figured you were tired, and that the stress of almost losing a dear friend was taking its toll on you. They weren’t wrong, of course, but everyone was missing a key piece of the puzzle- one that would change the face of the road trip forever. Or at least until it ended.

Halfway to your destination, Steve and Dustin finally decided to confront you about your angst fest. A gas station would be the perfect place for the intervention, they thought. They waited for you to start filling the car with gas and for Eddie to step away, claiming he needed a cigarette. With the two of you separated, they pounced.

“So, (Y/N),” Steve asked, leaning against the roof of the car and trying to look cool, “How are you, are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine, Steve,” you said, your voice hesitant and full of suspicion.

“Oh, really? Because you’ve been silent the whole way up here and it’s been super weird,” Dustin cut the bullshit, running straight for the issue on everyone’s minds, “What’s been up with you, lately? You’ve been off ever since Eddie woke up.”

You sighed, your hand smacking against the car as you fixed the duo with a look that could terrify Vecna, “Are you really asking me that?”

“I mean, maybe not so bluntly-”

“Yes. Yes, we are asking you that.”

You took a deep breath. The air smelled like gasoline and cigarettes. You needed a fucking nap and you needed it badly, but this so clearly wasn’t the time. You kind of wished that you could just collapse into the ground, go into a coma and wake up weeks later the way Eddie did, but you-

“(Y/N)? Hellooo, we’re waiting for an answer, here?”

You glared at Dustin again before you responded, “Look, man. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m just tired. Stressed. I’ll be fine though, don’t worry about me.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that before, it’s not gonna stop us from worrying,” Steve’s arms were crossed like a disappointed mother.

“Exactly. Now tell us what’s up. You’ve been too quiet with us, and you’ve been straight up cold to Eddie.”

You really had been cold, hadn’t you? You hadn’t spoken to any of them, and you refused to even sit near Eddie. A pang of guilt ran through you, echoing down your spine and along each and every one of your nerves. You had to tell the truth here. You just had to.

“It’s just that- I’m so angry at him, y’know? He died. He fucking died, and he did that in front of me, and in front of the kid,” you pointed at Dustin, who looked mildly offended that you were still calling him a kid.

You ignored that and continued on, “And he died to save a town that hates him. We are running to Canada because he can’t go back to Hawkins for his safety. And now- and now he’s just, he’s back! He’s alive, he’s fine, and I’m so happy that he’s back, but…”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest, hugging yourself, “It’s- it feels like he thinks that his life has no value. And he’s always kind of thought like that, so it isn’t really a surprise, but it still hurts, because it’s like he thinks could just die and everything would be fine. And that’s- that’s not true. He- he’s worth so much. So, so much, and if we didn’t get him back I don’t know what I would do. But…”

You cut yourself off, looking in the direction that Eddie went, “He’s alive, now. He’s alive, and Hawkins still hates him, and we’re here, and things aren’t going back to normal, and they never will because for a second, he was dead. I lost him. And now he’s back, and I just- I’m pissed. But then I feel like I shouldn’t be pissed. I mean, I was starting to think he’d never wake up, y’know? But now he’s awake. He’s alive. And every time I meet his eyes now I just- I freeze. It’s like something goes through me, like-”

“Electricity?” the boys asked in sync.

“Yeah. That. Exactly that, how did you know?”

Steve and Dustin looked at each other before turning back to you. Their eyes were wide with some kind of shock.

“What is it?” you asked, “What’s going-”

“Holy shit. You’re in love with Eddie, aren’t you?” Dustin’s voice was quiet, but not quiet enough for your taste.

“Hey, shh. I know that, but he doesn’t, and I don’t know where he is,” as you looked around for the missing metalhead, Steve and Dustin shared another look.

“Either way, that’s not the point, the point is-”

“Wait, so you know? Like, you know you’re in love with him and you didn’t tell anyone!? Not even Robin?”

“Hey,” Steve pouted at Dustin’s response, “Why don’t we ever have time to talk about my love life?”

Dustin squinted his eyes at the older boy, “You never shut up about your love life. Call me when one of your girlfriends comes out of a coma and immediately has to flee to Canada after dying, okay, Steve?”

“Hey, can I finish my sentence?” you raised your hand as if you were in a classroom.

“Sorry.”

“Thank you. Look, the point is I’m upset. And I know it’s wrong. What he did was… it was heroic. It was brave, it saved us, and it’s selfish of me but- goddamn do I wish he hadn’t done it. He ran into danger without a thought for himself, and if he ever does it again, I think it’ll kill me.”

The two boys in front of you remained silent for a second before Dustin said, “Holy shit, you’re in love with Eddie.”

“Yes,” you said, raising an eyebrow, “We’ve been over that, that’s not the-”

“No, but that is the point! You’ve been pulling away because you’re in love with him-”

“And he almost died saving you,” Steve finished the kid’s sentence, “You feel guilty and you're upset, that’s perfectly normal.”

“What’s not normal is freezing him out. You should go to him!” Dustin was jumping up and down with excitement, “You have to tell him that you love him.”

“I assure you I do not.”

“But you do though! Because right now, I’m pretty sure he thinks you hate him!”

“What?” your voice sounded fragile, more so than it had the moment before, “I don’t-”

“Yeah, we all know that, but he doesn’t know it!”

“Who doesn’t know what?” Eddie emerged from behind the gas station, playing with his lighter as he made his way towards you.

“I don’t-”

“We don’t-”

“You don’t know that you shouldn’t play with a lighter at a gas station,” Steve interrupted you and Dustin, and your weak attempts to hide the conversation you’d just had, “Come on man, put that thing away, you’re gonna blow us all up.”

Eddie nodded, doing as Steve asked. You quickly turned your attention back to the gas pump, ignoring the three boys as they piled back into the car.

“(Y/N), are you coming, or what?”

You finished quickly, trying to ignore the slight tremor in your hands. You climbed into the backseat next to Dustin, and you shut your eyes, trying to block out the conversation you just had. Your moment of peace didn’t last long.

You felt something on your hand. Soft slow taps from an unknown source. You tried to ignore it, but the longer you did, the quicker the taps came. When you opened your eyes, you saw Dustin tapping away your hand, over and over again in the most annoying way possible. When you turned to glare at him, he mouthed the words, “You need to tell him.”

You mouthed back, “What?”

“Tell him how you feel.”

You shook your head and looked forward again, eyes sliding closed as you pretended you were somewhere else. You imagined the library at your school, a nice beach, a cabin in the mountains- and you were ripped from each fantasy thanks to the tapping on the back of your hand.

You spun around, glare much more pronounced this time. Dustin’s intentions were also much more pronounced. This time, he just pointed at Eddie rather aggressively while mouthing the word, “TELL!”

You threw your hands up, mouthing the words, “What the fuck, Dustin?”

“You need to tell him!”

“No!”

“You have to tell him, bike car xylophone cheese!”

Your lip reading was not on point.

“What? What are you even talking about?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how I’m not going to tell Eddie that I’ve been in love with him for years!” or at least that’s what you meant. What Dustin saw was, “I’m talking about how I’m not going to eat Los Angeles for yams!”

Dustin’s lip-reading was also not on point.

“What?”

“What the fuck are you two doing?” Steve asked from the front seat, “Stop distracting me or I’m gonna crash this car.”

“Yes, mom,” Dustin said, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, don’t talk to your mother that way,” you said, voice mockingly harsh, a shit-eating grin plastered across your lips.

“Yeah, Henderson. Don’t make him turn this car around,” Eddie joined in, and the three of you laughed at Dustin’s expense.

“You guys suck,” the kid said, crossing his arms and sinking down in his seat.

You only laughed louder. Of course, you thought nothing of it- you were just laughing, that was nothing special. To Eddie, however, the sound was pure magic. He hadn’t heard that laugh for too long. He looked at you in the rearview mirror, staring with what could only be described as pure longing. His dark doe eyes took you in, admiring your smile and every line of your face. You, of course, didn’t notice this. You weren’t focused on where Eddie’s eyes were. Instead, your attention was turned to the world speeding by outside your window.

Dustin, however, was paying very close attention to where Eddie was looking, and holy shit did that kid want to scream. Not only were you in love with Eddie, but from what he was seeing, Eddie was in love with you. He was intent on you sharing your feelings before, but now? Now he needed you both to confess.

And he needed Steve to be in on it.

Alas, the car was in motion, and with the speed you were aiming for, you wouldn’t stop again until you were much closer to the border. That meant that Dustin had to stay silent, holding in your secrets until he could finally let them out. It was torture. He hated every minute of it. Even when the car ride devolved into intense discussions about random shit, it wasn’t enough to distract him.

“Look, I just think that Tom Cruise isn’t as hot as people say he is,” you said, throwing your hands up.

You think Eddie is hot, though, Dustin thought.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Tom Cruise is hot,” Steve responded, taking a hand off the wheel to emphasize his point. Eddie just nodded in agreement.

“Whatever,” you said, “I just think he’s overrated.”

But you don’t think Eddie is overrated.

“Ok, so who do you think is hot?” Steve put his hand back on the wheel.

EDDIE, they think Eddie is hot.

“I don’t know. Maybe David Bowie?”

And Eddie.

“David Bowie?” Steve asked, sounding very much like he didn’t believe you, “David- you know what, I get it, actually.”

“Yeah, I see it,” Eddie nodded in agreement.

The conversation shifted to a rather PG version of kiss, marry, kill, but Dustin’s mind remained in the same place.

“Okay, I would… murder the shit out of the Thing,” you said, thinking hard.

“From The Thing?”

“Yes, Steve, the Thing from John Carpenter’s The Thing. Then… I’d kiss Galadriel, and I’d marry MacReady. Also from The Thing.”

Steve nodded approvingly, “Not bad, not bad.”

You’d also kiss and marry Eddie, Dustin thought. What he said, though, was, “Hang on, why wouldn’t you marry Galadriel?”

“Honestly? She kind of intimidates me, I don’t think I could handle that in a marriage.”

You could handle Eddie in a marriage-

“What about you, Dustin, you have to kiss, marry, and kill three people and/or characters,” you nudged his side.

“Uhhhhh,”

Shortly after, the conversation shifted again. Dustin’s mind still didn’t falter. It was a little harder to stay on topic that time, though.

“Ok, but does anyone actually know what the plot of Cats is?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, it’s,” you put your hands over your eyes, “It’s something about all the cats competing to see who gets to die in a trash fire? I think?”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously!”

I feel like I’m dying in a trash fire. JUST TELL EDDIE HOW YOU FEEL.

“That’s surprisingly metal for a musical where people in lycra suits pretend to be cats,” Eddie said, knocking his rings against the window.

Y’know what would be metal? IF YOU TOLD (Y/N) YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH THEM.

The car ride continued like this until you stopped again. At that point, Dustin’s mind was a tiny bit lost. The second he was out of the car, he dragged Steve off behind a tree that definitely wasn’t big enough to hide them both.

“Woah, woah, woah, Jesus, calm down. What do you want?”

“Eddie’sinlovewith(Y/N)!”

“Wait… what?”

“Eddie is in love with (Y/N). They’re in love, they love each other!”

“Okay, wait, how do you know that?”

“Just look at the way he looks at them!”

Steve looked around the tree to see you and Eddie still near the car. You looked like you were asleep standing up, and Eddie was smoking again. Neither of you were looking at each other.

“Okay, not right now,” Dustin said, pulling Steve back to face him, “But in the car, you have to see the way he looks at them! He’s totally in love.”

“Alright, big shot, I’ll take a look when we get back in there… but you know we could just ask him, right?”

“... Shit, you’re right. Hang on,” Dustin leaned around the tree, “Eddie! Pst! C’mere!”

Eddie purposefully ignored the kid, focusing instead on his cigarette.

“You should go see what he wants,” you said, leaning towards him just a bit, “He might lose his shit, otherwise.”

Eddie was too shocked by the fact that you were talking to him to move. Instead, he just turned to look at you, his eyes wide and lips slightly parted. You hadn’t spoken directly to him since he woke up, and now that you were-

“Why are you looking at me like that? Just,” you waved your hand, “Go see what he wants.”

He did as you asked, stumbling a little as he pushed himself off of the car.

“What’s up?” he asked, cigarette still in his hand.

“Hi, Eddie, you’re in love with (Y/N), right?”

Eddie choked on smoke and ash as he tried to recover from Dustin’s question, “What?”

“You’re in love with (Y/N), yes or no?”

“I- how- where did this come from?”

“Just answer the question, man,” Steve said, running his hands through his annoyingly perfect hair.

“You’re in on this too, Harrington?”

“Yeah, he’s in on it, we’re both in on it, now answer the question!”

Eddie didn’t answer. Instead, he looked over at you. Your eyes were closed again, and you were leaning against the car. You looked so calm, so relaxed, more so than you’d been since he woke up. Your lips were turned up slightly at the ends, and he wanted to kiss you so badly-

Of course, you didn’t see this, but Steve and Dustin did. Steve even nodded at the kid, a silent agreement that yeah, holy shit, Eddie was down so bad.

“Y’know what,” Dustin said, “Don’t answer. We already know.”

“What? Hang on, I have questions-”

“There’s no time for your questions. C’mon, Steve.”

Steve sent a sympathetic glance and a shrug in Eddie’s direction before he followed the kid back to the car. Eddie was left by the tree, watching as the two boys walked away from him. He was more than a little confused, but instead of racking his brain for a possible answer, he just brought his cigarette back to his lips and turned to face the other way.

Since he was looking in the other direction, he didn’t see it when your eyes raked over his figure, hungrily taking in every part of him. You were still mad, yes, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy the view.

Of course, Steve and Dustin noticed you. This was to their detriment, because seeing the obvious want on your face made them want to tear their hair out. As Steve walked to the other side of the car, Dustin walked up to you. He grabbed your shoulders and shook you slightly, as much as his fourteen-year-old arms could manage.

“Tell. Him,” the kid said, before climbing into the backseat beside Steve.

“Hey, wait a minute,” you put your hand on the door before he could close it, “Get out, you’re riding shotgun.”

“Uh, no. You are riding shotgun, and Eddie is driving. Now, go on. Shoo!”

You flipped the kid off before climbing into the car, slightly pushing yourself against the door. Eddie was the last to get in, smelling of cigarettes and pine. The ride was relatively silent the rest of the way into Canada. Whenever someone did speak, Steve and Dustin’s thoughts screamed for you and Eddie to confess. Alas, there were no confessions to be had. Your arms were crossed against your chest, and Eddie gripped the wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

Crossing the border went by without incident. As your merry band ventured further north, rain began to pour down on your shitty little car. You drove past towns and rivers, and through a dense forest until you finally reached your destination.

Your temporary home was about the size of Reefer Rick’s- and it was completely empty. The windows were dark and there were no cars around it. Its pale yellow walls were overgrown with moss and ivy. Despite the house’s abandoned appearance, there was no spray paint or broken glass to indicate petty criminal activity. As soon as Steve and Dustin left, you and Eddie would be relatively isolated, and entirely alone. The thought almost scared you, but you refused to let it.

“Alright then,” you said, pulling yourself out of the car, “Let’s get set up, shall we?”

You walked towards the door. Just as Mr. Munson said, there was a doormat, and beneath it, a key. You slotted it into the lock and opened the door. The house smelled like old wood and dust. You coughed slightly as you stepped inside, moving through the house and turning on the lights. Eddie, Steve, and Dustin followed behind you, carrying boxes with them.

After you finished making sure all of the appliances were functional, you joined the boys in carrying your few belongings into the house.

You were in one of the bedrooms, putting away your clothes when Steve found you. You gave him a small nod when he entered, one that he returned. A few moments passed before either of you spoke.

“You should talk to him,” he said, his hands kept busy as he messed with whatever he could find, “Not now, y’know, but soon, just… let him know how you feel. He deserves that much- and you deserve to get it off your chest, y’know?”

You bit your lip, “You may have a point.”

“I may have a point? I know I have a point. Besides, you don’t actually plan on spending your time here in awkward silence, do you? Because that sounds like a bad plan.”

“Damn. That’s another point for you.”

“I know,” Steve said. He put down whatever junk he was fiddling with and put his hands on your shoulder, gently turning you to face him, “Look, when you have someone who looks at you the way he does, you don’t want to let them go.”

“And how does he look at me?”

“Like he loves you.”

“Oh,” you said, your voice shaking slightly. You coughed and patted Steve’s hands, “Thanks, Steve. Emotional intelligence suits you.”

“It’s no problem, just,” he pointed at you and smiled, “Act on it, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Right. Now, let’s head downstairs, shall we?”

He offered his arm to you, and you took it, heading down the stairs with him.

When you hit the final step, Steve moved ahead of you and wrapped an arm around the kid’s shoulders, messing up his hair as he pulled the kid down the hall.

“Well, we should get going,” Steve said, “Our flight is soon, and if I buy four plane tickets instead of two my parents will kill me.”

“Aw, and (Y/N)’s in Canada, so they wouldn’t be able to bring you back,” Dustin joked, batting at Steve’s arm, “Eddie, you’re coming with us, right?”

“Yeah, I’m coming, I’m coming. You’re gonna be alright on your own, right?” Eddie turned to you. You froze under his gaze, your heart racing. Still, you found your words.

“I’ll be fine. It’s Canada, what’s the worst thing up here? Bears?”

He smiled at you, and you felt like you were on fire. Trying to dispel the feeling, you turned to Steve and Dustin, “Well, you know where we are, and you know our numbers. If you need anything, let us know.”

“Of course. And we’ll let you know when you can come back.”

“Good. Let’s hope that’s soon.”

Dustin finally broke free of Steve’s hold and ran at you and Eddie. He hugged the metalhead first, whispering something you couldn’t hear. Then, he sprinted for you, wrapping his arms around your middle.

“Take care of him, okay? And take care of yourself.”

“I will, I promise. You don’t have to worry about us, alright?” you pulled away, “And you take care of yourself. Try to get some sleep, kiddo.”

He hit your shoulder for calling him a kid again. Of course, you laughed at his expense. When you looked up, Steve had his arms around Eddie. He let go and moved over to you.

“Watch yourself up here, bears aren’t anything to laugh at.”

You laughed again at Steve’s serious expression.

“I’m serious!”

You pulled him into a hug, “I appreciate your concern, Steve.”

When he pulled away, he left his hands on your shoulders, “And take my advice, will you? Make a move!”

You patted his hands, shaking your head as you took a step back, “I’ll see what I can do.”

For a moment, the four of you were silent. The woods were filled with the sound of wind and birdsong. Over the treeline, you could see a storm forming.

“I’ll see you when I get back,” Eddie said as he got into the car. You watched as the boys drove off, and the car quickly disappeared into the trees.

#x reader #eddie munson x reader #stranger things spoilers

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samuel-de-champagne-problems · 3 years

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It's Delicate: Part II

Summary: Spencer Reid finds himself at a gas station at 2:00 am, thinking he’s only leaving with a cup of crappy coffee. But something taped to the door catches his eye. Spencer leaves the gas station with more than he intended: the chance at a friend, and maybe something more along the way.

Word Count: 3.6 k

Author’s Note: Here's the second part in It's Delicate, my first chapter fic. I've planned out kind of where I see this eventually going! Thank you to anyone who reads, likes, comments, and reblogs. It really means the world to me.

Content Warnings: Expletive language (3 uses), mentions of drug use, sexual innuendo

READ PART I

It's Delicate Masterlist

It's Delicate

Sitting on the plane, Spencer looks out from the little window. For hours, there’s been nothing but corn fields and clouds. It’s eerily peaceful, being there high above the clouds. His whole life Spencer has felt this distance between him and everyone else, but nothing makes that feeling more prominent than being strapped in a glorified metal box 35,000 feet off the Earth’s surface. But the thing is, Spencer does need to be flying above the trees to feel lonely. He can do that with two feet on the ground.

Luke sits across Spencer, the table between them and a deck of playing cards are spread out across its surface. He has to nudge Spencer’s leg from under the table, trying to bring him back to reality as he stares out the window.

“Whatcha thinking,” Luke asks, Spencer has been noticing more and more that Luke is one of the few people that actually listens to him.

Spencer, whose mind is racing too fast to even formulate an articulate thought, attempts to dodge Luke’s question with a noncommittal shrug.

“Reid, these cases are hard for all of us, you gotta know that man,” Luke says, laying down a four of a kind.

Spencer narrows his eyes, shocked that it hasn’t clicked yet for the rest of the team. He cracks his neck, preparing to answer Luke.

“We almost locked up an innocent man, Alvez. I almost sent another man to the same fate as myself. What kind of fucked up message is that?” Spencer says, throwing down the cards on the table. He doesn’t wait for Luke to respond.

“I fold,”

Spencer walks off into the small kitchenette to make a cup of coffee. He doesn’t want to think about his increased reliance on coffee, because he knows it’s a hot cup of coffee or a cold needle of Dilaudid in his veins. Spencer checks his watch, it’s 10:17 pm, maybe too late to find a meeting at a church or rec center somewhere.

He sneaks a peak at his phone, which was still unfortunately on Airplane Mode, he hasn’t even gotten a chance to see if Y/N has responded. He doesn’t know much about her, just as much as she knows about him.

It’s a brave new world for Spencer and he’s knee deep into the unknown.

Spencer can feel Luke’s eyes on him. He just knows that the minute he gets home, a certain tech expert will be ringing him. He knows that it’s Luke’s way of caring, but for someone who’s been alone for so long, having people that actually care is almost drowning.

Walking back to his seat, Spencer hands Luke a coffee. He smiles slightly; it’s the awkward smile that he used to make when intimating police chiefs and idiot cops would look him up and down like he’s a TA. It’s a peace offering for Luke, who despite his tough looking exterior, is one of the kindest people Spencer knows.

“Look, Reid. I’m sorry that we didn’t put it together. It’s just that man that we caught, he’s not like you. He’s not innocent of crimes, he’s just innocent of this crime,” Luke says in an attempt to make Spencer feel a little bit better.

“The thing is Luke, I’m exactly like that man,”

Spencer returns to staring out the window. The cards and the coffee on the table are long ignored for the silence that is found when you’re high above the clouds.

Spencer hears Tara and Emily murmur quietly about going out for a round of drinks. Luke accepts, while JJ and Matt decline, eager to get home to their families. Emily looks over at Spencer, her eyes silently scanning him, his body language. Spencer knows that there’s nothing he can hide from Emily, so there’s no use in trying to pretend he’s alright when she can take one look at him and know that nothing is right.

“You guys have fun, I’m going to head home and get some sleep. I plan on visiting my mom tomorrow and mornings are usually better for her,” Spencer says, slinging his go bag around his shoulders and making the trek back to the security to check out.

He walks slowly, enjoying the sound of the crickets chirping as he trudges along. Spencer tries not to think about the man, Richard, who was almost locked up for a crime that he didn’t commit. Spencer is pretty sure that being the person to throw an innocent man in jail is worse than being the innocent man in jail.

Spencer’s phone buzzes loudly, disturbing the silence of his walk. He looks at the phone to see a couple of messages from Y/N. Spencer slides open the lock to his phone and hits the button to read her messages.

Y/N: Spencer...that has a nice ring to it. So tell me a little bit about yourself. Your big three, but as books. Go! 🌞🌙⬆️

Furrowing his brow, Spencer reads the message over again. He does not have a clue what “big three” means, but it seems like some sort of pop culture thing that he’s not skilled in. He wants to text Garcia for a translation, but he’s also not too keen on telling her how he came across Y/N’s number.

Y/N: I assume you’re working, but I'm kind of impatient so I’ll give you mine 🙃 I’m a Little Women sun, an Emma moon, and an In Cold Blood rising.

Y/N: Oh no….I hope my astrology didn’t turn you off

Y/N: Not that I was trying to turn you on

Y/N: omg Y/N please shut the fuck up

Astrology? Spencer isn’t one to judge, but he’s a scientist first and foremost. The idea that there is something written about him in the stars seems like ludicrous. He decided to ignore the other messages, particularly the ones with a little more than slight innuendo.

Spencer: Y/N- I’m sorry I just got out of work. As for my big three, I’m not sure about astrology. I don’t particularly believe in pseudoscience. But those are good choices. In Cold Blood is an excellent choice. Capote spent years researching the case. In fact his prose and technique inspired the entire “Nonfiction novel” genre. The world of journalism and true crime would not be where it is without Capote’s work.

Y/N: Oh my god. You are a total nerd. 🙀

That stops Spencer right in his tracks. He’s only a couple of yards away from the Volvo at this point, but somehow it feels a million miles away. You are a total nerd. The words replay in his mind as the small gray bubbles pop up again. Spencer can feel his heart constrict at Y/N’s words. It’s ridiculous, he’s nearly 34 and is getting upset that a stranger called him a nerd. Spencer unlocks his car and tosses his go bag, phone included onto the passenger seat.

After a couple of minutes his phone buzzes again. He’s half tempted to answer it, but the way his heart seems to beat faster tells him to ignore it.

Y/N: I fucking love it and I think you’ll love this too

Spencer’s entire demeanor changes as he reads the message. He’s always had difficulties reading emotion in writing, especially when he can’t analyze the handwriting. Sometimes, it’s even harder to judge inflection during conversations. Maybe that is why Spencer has spent all this time studying people, studying the way that their minds work. Before he can get too lost in his thoughts, another message pops up.

Y/N: Meet Capote and Second Cat

Y/N: They are the loves of my life

Spencer: They are very...distinguished looking. Capote is an excellent name choice then. Second Cat is also quite catchy.

Spencer hesitates before sending the message, he notices that Y/N uses what Garcia calls “emojis” quite frequently. He assumes that it’s some sort of “texting lingo” that expresses emotion in small graphics. Great, he thinks. He already has a difficult time deciphering Y/N’s cryptic wording and now he’s got to analyze these emojis.

Maybe he should profile her. He re-reads the message and settles on a “😄” because he figures that he can’t go wrong with offering Y/N a smile.

Spencer: I don’t have a cat, but when I was a kid I always wanted one, they’re quite good companions for those that live several different kinds of lifestyles. From active to sedentary, they are adaptable and independent. Honestly they are the perfect pet.

Y/N: Is this your way of telling you’re a crazy cat man? 😜 🙀

Spencer, still sitting in his car that’s parked in the parking lot, chuckles at Y/N’s response to his message. Maybe it’s just easier to ignore his rambling when it’s done through 1s and 0s and there isn’t a face to the words.

Spencer: I’m actually more of a fish guy

Y/N: Like a “I-like-to-go-fishing-and-post-picture-of-myself-kissing-my-catch-on-Tinder” kind of fish guy or...I can’t think of any other kind of fish men

Spencer, not totally understanding the obvious joke that Y/N is trying to make, settles on something that he hasn’t really ever tried: being himself.

Spencer: Not quite sure what a Tinder is, but I think fishing is terrifying and kissing a fish is something out of nightmares. But his name is Leo

Y/N: DiCaprio?

Spencer: Uhh, Tolstoy

Y/N: Good😉 ⚔️🕊️ 🇷🇺

Spencer glances at his clock on the control panel, it tells him that he’s been messaging with Y/N back and forth for nearly 22 minutes. He nearly forgot how tired he was.

Spencer: Y/N- I’m so sorry but, I just got to my car to drive home from work. I’ll text you tomorrow morning about the book club, maybe we can figure out some things.

Y/N: OMG Spencer!! you should have told me. I’ve been talking ur ear off. sleep well and yes please tomorrow we can talk about the book club

Y/N: Good night, Book Buddy 😴

Spencer wants to respond to Y/N, but he doesn’t know what to say. She seems to text so easily, and judging by that, she must be around Spencer’s age or a little bit younger. Besides JJ and Penelope, Spencer has never had a friend close to his age. It’s a strange new territory for him and he’s walking in head first into No Man’s Land.

He starts his Volvo, the check engine still lights but, reminding him once again to go get it fixed. Driving away from the parking lot, Spencer hands over his ID to Gina, the security guard. She checks his ID and gives him a tired smile. Spencer, as he drives home to his apartment, thinking about what books he and Y/N will read together. He wonders what kind of books are her favorite, if they have any authors that they can obsess over together, or if what she thinks a poet’s prose is.

The summer air rushing in through the window is nowhere as warm and as comforting as thought of Spencer finally having a friend that isn’t able to read the scars of his past in the text bubbles that pop up on her screen.

When Spencer opens his eyes for the first time that morning, he isn’t sure where he is. Sometimes, before he can stop his thoughts from travelling there, Spencer thinks he’s still in jail. He hates the feeling of terror that rushes over him but he hates the idea of being vulnerable a little bit more. But the softness of his pillows and the coolness of his cotton sheets remind him that he’s not sleeping on a hard cot with only a layer of fabric over his body. The light streams in through the half closed blinds, and Spencer judges by how brightly the sun shines in, it must be around 9:45 am.

He supposes that he prefers the way the sun’s rays paint horizontal bars across his face more than the vertical bars that cast gray shadows over his cell at Milburn Penitentiary.

It’s a day off from work, so Spencer didn’t set an alarm, instead allowing his mind and his body to catch up on some much needed rest. The nightmares have been getting better, but his dreams are still haunted by the way that he hardly recognizes himself anymore. Deciding that it will be a day spent in pajamas, Spencer goes to his bookshelf in his bedroom to pick out a couple of novels to read while he drinks his morning coffee and defrosts some of Luke’s strawberry pastries.

Before heading out of his room, Spencer stops himself in the doorway. He replays the events of last night. He declined to go out with the rest of the team, while he walked to his car he thought about the crickets telling the temperature, and he read over Y/N’s messages.

Y/N.

He promised he’d text her back in the morning about their book club. Last night, she didn’t seem to mind Spencer’s long messages and awkward phrasing. He still doesn’t really know how this Book Buddy thing would work, but since he found Y/N’s number on the flyer, he can only assume that she knows what to do. He leaps on his bed, landing with thud on his belly, to grab his phone that charges on his nightstand.

Spencer settles at his kitchen table, a cup of steaming hot Dark Roast coffee in a Captain Spock mug in one hand and, surprisingly, his phone in the other. He scrolls through the messages from last night, Y/N’s cat and emojis tempt a smile to Spencer’s face.

Not entirely sure how to start the conversation again, Spencer looks around for inspiration until his eyes land on a certain fish tank in the corner of his apartment. He snaps a quick picture of Leo and attaches it to the message.

Spencer: Good Morning from Leo & Spencer

Spencer sets down his phone after a moment when he realizes that Y/N is probably not going to answer him back in a couple of seconds. He takes out a strawberry pastry from his freezer and puts it into the toaster oven on a non-stick baking sheet. His thumbs run across the texture of the book he started on the plane ride after his and Luke’s ill fated poker game. It's a thin book of collected essays on the meaning of life. Camus, to Spencer, is a little pessimistic with his droning on about the meaninglessness of life. Though Spence has seen the absolute worst that humanity has to offer, he still has to believe that there’s a deeper meaning behind it all.

His toaster oven rings, altering him so that his toasted strawberry pastry is cooked. He plates his breakfast and pours himself another cup of coffee- he’ll need it to get through Camus’s section on Absurdism this early in the morning. But the flash of Spencer’s phone screen sends him reaching for his phone. Y/N replied to his message.

Y/N: hi leo!!!

Y/N: and you too Spencer :) Did you get a good night’s sleep. You got back late it seems.

Spencer, taking a bite of the strawberry pastry, ignores the burning sensation in his mouth. He types out a response to Y/N as he washes down the bite with a swing of coffee.

Spencer: I did, thank you. Can you tell me a little bit more about this book buddy thing. From what I gathered from the flyer it’s like a little book club of our own and we meet at the bookstore?

It doesn’t take long for Y/N to respond. The little gray dots pop up almost immediately after Spencer’s message is delivered.

Y/N: That’s about right! Is it okay if I call you? Kinda easier to talk that way 🤷‍♀️

Spencer reads over the message a couple of times. He doesn’t really like to talk on the phone and only does it out of necessity. He’s pretty sure that his voice is grating and his vocal fry is quite irritating. Yet, he finds himself replying “yes” to Y/N. Soon enough, his phone buzzes in his hand and Spencer has to remind himself how to pick up a call.

“Spencer? Um, this is Spencer Reid, right?” the voice says. It’s a woman’s voice and he can only assume that it’s Y/N, considering it is her phone number calling him.

“Y/N, uh hi. This is Dr. Spencer- I mean this is Spencer,” he says, nearly forgetting that Y/N doesn’t know him as Dr. Reid, but as just Spencer. It’s been a long time since someone has known him as Spencer.

“Oh great! It’s wonderful to finally have a voice to your name. So about these buddy reads. You seem to have a good grasp of what they are,” Y/N’s voice trails off a little bit at the end and Spencer finds it natural to fill in the silence.

“Yes, the flyer was quite informative. But I was wondering, do we read the same books or do we read different books?” Spencer asks, trying to restrain himself from scaring Y/N off. But something about her made him think that she didn’t scare easily.

Y/N chuckles lightly in the speaker of her phone, “that’s a good question, uh, I was actually going to ask you what you would rather. We can read the same books, or if it’s okay with you we can choose what the other would read for that week,”

“Oh really?” Spencer says, very much aware how his voice rises a couple of octaves. He can’t trust himself to hold back on rambling over the phone Y/N, so he resorts to using his strained, brittle voice that’s full of hesitation and restraint.

“That’s the plan, so whatcha thinking, Spencer,” Y/N says playfully, like she can sense that phone conversations maybe not make him feel at ease. There’s something so natural and silvery about her voice; it reminds Spencer of an audiobook reader. While he’s not too keen on audiobooks, he’s sure that he’d listen to anything she reads or has to say.

“Um, I think it sounds interesting to pick out books for each other. I tend to gravitate towards more technical books or even books that aren’t in English so, uh, I think it would be interesting to get out of my comfort zone,” Spencer says, cringing internally at using the word “interesting” twice in a couple of sentences.

“Well, as long as you don’t pick out something in physics or anything by Ayn Rand then I’d say we’re good,” Y/N says. Spencer thinks it’s a joke, but he’s not too sure how to respond.

“Will you still be my Book Buddy if I read 1 out of 2 of those?” Spencer asks, hoping she’d get that he is trying to continue the joke.

“Oh no Spencer please don’t tell me you’re an Ayn Rand fanboy,” she says, and by the airy way she laughs, Spencer ventures to guess his joke landed successfully.

“So,” Spencer starts, he never has made plans with people outside of his team, and on top of that, there’s something about Y/N’s quickness that makes him a little nervous to meet her.

“I’m talking your ear off, aren’t I? Please Spencer, if you’re going to be my Book Buddy, you’re going to have to get used to me talking a lot, especially you pick out good books, which, I already have a feeling you’re going to be favorite Book Buddy,”

For once in his life, Spencer doesn’t really know how to respond. He lets out something in between a strangled laughter and a noncommittal chuckle.

“So,” Y/N says, mirroring Spencer’s earlier words, “so are you free tonight, I can meet you at the bookstore..”

Y/N’s voice trails off and Spencer leaps to finish her sentences. It doesn’t feel like his interjecting or interrupting, but like he’s snapping a puzzle piece together.

“Does 7 work?” “7 is great, Spencer. It’s a date,”

Those three little words send Spencer’s eyes flying wide open. He scrambles to come up with answer to louden the silence that falls, but he swears he can hear a string of quiet curses before Y/N manages to squeak out a small “goodbye,”

Y/N’s last words play back in Spencer’s ears. He scolds himself for being so weird and awkward that the very idea of going on a date with him would send Y/N in a tizzy. It’s not a date, because Spencer can’t think about it being a date. It’s not a date because of the looming photo above his mantle that freezes his future in the past. It’s not a date because of the nightmare of vertical bars that haunt his dreams

It’s not a date. It’s so not a date because Spencer would call Luke to come over to help him if it was.

“Hey Luke,” Spencer says, trying to control the nervous waves in his voice, “no man, I’m fine, it’s uh, easier if you just come over. I’m fine, really,”

Y/N: I really hope you're not an Ayn Rand fanboy 😉

It’s so not a date.

--THANK YOU FOR READING--

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bearlytolerant · 3 years

Text

Fandom: Dragon Age

Pairing: Solavellan (Modern AU)

Ch Rating: T

Ch WC: 2169

AO3

Chapter 7

Another day at the office. Editing, emails and the ever elusive caller that enables equal opportunities for playing phone tag. A game Solas never enjoys participating in. The morning slides by and Varric is at his desk, twirling his keys around his finger.

“Lunch?”

Solas glances up and sighs. “I’m trying to get a hold of Seeker Pentaghast. Sera said she had more info on an agent that might have a lead on Crystal Red.”

“That sounds like a lot of maybes and probablys and a whole lot of I don’t give a fuck. You’re allowed to take a break and get some lunch.”

“What if they call while I’m away?”

“They can leave a message. Now let’s get out of here before we don’t have any time at all for food.”

Solas shoves back his chair and follows Varric. “I did pack a lunch today,” he mentions.

“Save it for tomorrow then. I’m craving some street tacos and there’s a truck just up the road. I’ll buy so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“I am less concerned about finances and more concerned about getting food from a truck.”

“Ah, live a little Chuckles,” Varric says as he gives Solas a whack on the back.

“If living a little, as you say, means spending two days on the toilet. Perhaps I do not wish to live a little.”

“Well come with me and grab something else. I’m sure there’s something you’d find worthy of your tastes nearby.”

A half hour later and Solas is holding a taco that’s worth the regret he’ll experience from his future self. Some chipotle mayo dribbles down his chin and he swipes it away while pulling out his phone.

He checks his messages. One from Sarya and one from Veda. He taps on the one from Veda first.

Connor went home sick. Pick me up after school today?

He checks the time and swears. How did he not realize he took such a late lunch? She needs to be picked up right now. He dials her number as he stuffs his arms into his coat.

“Veda needs to be picked up,” he tells Varric as he shoves the remainder of his taco in his mouth.

“Got you covered,” Varric replies.

He mumbles a garbled, “thanks” then takes off down the street. Solas is just a block away from his car in the parking garage when she picks up.

“Hey papae!”

“Hello. I apologize. I just now saw your text. I will be late.”

“No worries. I can always watch the band practice until you get here.”

“I will be there soon.”

“Okie doke.”

He says he loves her and hangs up. Sprints the rest of the way down the street, half choking and wishing he’d at least drank some water but makes his way to his little car without incident. He hops inside. Starts it and zooms out of the garage. He’s speeding which has him checking his rear view mirror constantly. But of course, the city has a million stop lights and he hits every red one. He gets to her school later than he ever intended.

He parks, shoving his glasses all the way up his nose, and searches for Veda at the stadium. He spots her in the bleachers, chin resting in her hands and her copper braids coming undone in the breeze. He takes the stairs to meet her two at a time.

“I am so sorry to make you wait,” he says as he wraps her in his arms.

“Seriously, papae. It’s not a problem at all.”

“But what if it had rained? Or stormed like yesterday?”

“I would’ve just stayed inside. Besides, that didn’t happen.”

He sighs, berating himself a little internally. Then he walks with her back to the car. Slides in and clicks his seatbelt in place.

“What’s this?” Veda asks.

Solas glances over at her. She has Sarya’s camera in her hands. He hadn’t even noticed it there. He calmly says, “a camera.”

“Pssh, obviously. But I don’t remember you having a camera.”

“It’s a friend’s,” he says. “We went out for lunch and they must’ve left it.”

“Oh,” she says. “How was work today?” She’s still fiddling with the camera.

“It was work,” he says. Thankfully she easily dropped the subject. “Not much was accomplished.”

She gasps. “Your friend is so pretty. You’ve never mentioned her before. New coworker?”

“No. Just a new friend I met.”

“She looks familiar—and she’s a wonderful photographer. Maybe we should have her take some pictures of us. We haven’t updated our family photos since I was ten.”

“That’s a wonderful idea Veda. However, my friend is only visiting for a short while. I’m not sure there would be enough time to squeeze some family photos in.”

“Bummer. You look so happy around her.”

“I don’t always look happy?”

“You look a different kind of happy with her. It’s nice.”

He takes her words and holds them close to her chest. “Anything interesting happen at school today?”

“Yeah,” she says, then she unloads a multitude of stories. How one of her friends got their tooth knocked out by a basketball in gym. How she accidentally used Elvhen in her Tevene class and didn’t notice until the whole class was just staring at her.

“Did you feel embarrassed?” he asks as they pull into the garage.

“A little. But I mostly found it funny. The way the other kids looked so confused.”

“Does anyone treat you differently when you speak Elvhen?”

She shrugs. “There’s a couple of kids who say stupid things but I don’t hang around them.”

“Veda, I’m happy to speak with the administration if your having trouble with other students—“

“While I appreciate that, I can handle a couple of kids who are jerks.”

“Very well but if you ever—“

“I know.” She slings her backpack in her back then kisses his cheek. “Can I go to Varric’s house? I want to see the cats and hang out with Cole for a bit.”

“Yes, so long as you check with—“

“Already did.” She steps out of the car. “Going to drop my stuff off inside then I’ll see you later.”

“Text me when you want to leave. I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay. See you later, papae.”

Solas sighs. He’s glad she still talks to him and he still gets to see her but there’s also this tiny ache in his chest that misses her always being around the house. But he reminds himself that this is a good thing. It’s just new and he pulls out his phone to read his messages from Sarya.

Hey I’m going to try and stop by your work around 3:15 today.

I stopped by your work but you weren’t there. Saw Varric though! He introduced me to everyone and it was fun! I really like Sera. She’s hilarious! And Merrill was so sweet! Anyway, hopefully I’ll see you sometime soon. 😉

—

“I fold,” Sarya says, she takes a drag from her cigarillo. Then throws her cards face up on the table.

“Already?” Han asks. “What a shame.”

“Your mind must be elsewhere, Sarya. I’ve never known you to throw a game,” Vilanti says as she shows her cards.

Han takes the game and lets out a whoop as he gathers them all to shuffle.

“I still can’t believe Dallen just up and left us. Did he say anything to either of you? About his plans.”

Both of them shake their heads.

“It’s really odd.”

“I don’t know why you care. Easier to keep yourself from using him. Easier for him to be happy this way,” Han says.

“Ouch,” Vilanti grimaces, then gestures for all the cards to be handed over. She shuffles.

“I do agree with that actually. It’s just that most who move on from our happy little family tend to give us more of a notice. We didn’t get to give him a proper goodbye.”

“I don’t mean to sound callous here Sarya, but you were the only one who cared about the guy. Makes sense why he moved on.” Vilanti deals.

Sarya picks up her hand and stares straight through the cards. “That’s not true.”

“Basically,” Han argues. He draws a card.

“Sometimes you both are mean.”

“Not mean. Just honest,” Han says.

Vilanti draws. “On another note, I heard Makon made a new friend today.”

“What?” Sarya nearly drops her cards. “Our Makon? Makon—stoic, quiet, unsociable Makon?”

“Yep. Met her at the gas station. She was passing through on her way to Wycome and her motorcycle broke down. He fixed it up for her on the spot and they exchanged numbers I guess.”

“What the fuck?”

“Good for him,” Han says.

Sarya draws a card. “Yeah, seriously. I hope that works out.”

“Our next gig is in Wycome and he plans to see her then.”

“Was it love at first sight or something?” Sarya asks. She folds and picks her cigarillo back up. Her interest in cards declining by the second.

Vilanti shrugs and plays her cards, taking the game. “By the way he keeps talking about her, I’d say yes.”

“What’s her name,” Han asks, gathering all the cards into a pile.

“Athi. Athi Lavellan.”

“Another Lavellan huh?”

“Guess so. Maybe she’s related to you two,” Vilanti says.

“Doubt it. Or if she is, it’s very distant,” Han says.

In the distance they hear yelling and smashing bottles. They all exchange looks.

“Wonder who the hell set Deshanna off—“

“Let’s go see if we can smooth things over,” Han says with a sigh.

“You two can go. I’ll probably make things worse. I don’t think he likes me much.”

“That’s because you push his buttons. Definitely better for you to stay here,” Han tells her.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Then she waves at them as they slip out the door and finishes off her cigarillo.

—

It’s dark and quiet and Sarya gazes longingly out the window at a small patch of stars. The only patch not hidden by the clouds. She sighs and startles at the sound of knocking. Straightening herself out, she rubs the redness from her elbows and opens the door.

“Solas,” she says it like she’s expecting him but she’s truly surprised. She steps out with him, shutting the door behind her.

“You forgot your camera,” he tells her, holding it out in his hands.

She takes it from him, hanging it around her neck. “Thank you. I should really start keeping better track of my things or you’re going to start thinking I’m trying to bait you or something.”

“I would bite every time,” he says, his hands clasped behind his back. There’s a certain sparkle in his eye and she can’t read him. But she knows she wants to kiss him. So without another thought, she stretches up on her toes and takes him by surprise. He is frigid and she panics, certain she has misstepped. After all, friends don’t kiss like that.

“I’m sorry,” she says, a little out of breath. “I don’t know what…”

Her words are caught on the edge of his lips as he captures her mouth again. His kiss is unreserved but not what she’d call passionate. Like the kiss of a long time lover. A kiss of promise. Of commitment. Her mind screams at her to let go while simultaneously wishing and longing for more. His leg is pressed into her inner thigh and despite the chill of the air, she’s certain she is on fire. Her nails are in his shoulder, the camera even hurts just a little as it presses into her chest, and she doesn’t mean to let out a moan but it’s too late for regrets as he pushes her against the side of her trailer. One hand above her and the other in her hair. With each breath she steals between kisses, she studies his face. Memorizes it and stores it for always. Freckles for days and the tiniest scar above his brow. The only sign of his age lies in the lines of crows feet near the edges of his eyes and she tells herself to ask if he has a skincare routine. He certainly seems the type.

She studies his closed eyelids, there’s two freckles on the right and a singular small one on the left and she notices that there’s even some red in his brows and wonders if they’d have red headed babies.

She gasps then. Pulls away. Why in the hell is she thinking of babies?

“Perhaps I should…”

“Kiss me again,” she says to him. She won’t let one ridiculous thought ruin the moment. She knows that she’s falling for him. Too fast, too soon but she’s holding on for another day.

When they break apart she doesn’t want him to go. But it’s too much to ask him to stay. So she waves goodbye then clicks her camera, saving the image of him walking away.

#dragon age #solavellan #modern au #solas x Sarya Lavellan #circus au #free falling #bear writes

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wellhellotragic · 3 years

Text

These Wounds Won't Seem to Heal 3/4

Summary: It’s not her fault. She’s still new and doesn’t know. He’s not flawless. Not anymore. He’s got scars, ones she’s seen first hand. Ones she helped tend to. His body is covered in them. There’s a thin red line where he took a bottle to the face during his early beat cop days. There’s another angry red mark on his torso from where he was stabbed with a knife in his ribs. The one where he had his hand slammed in a locker as a teenager has long since faded, only the barest hint remaining, only visible in just the right lighting.

There’s two oval scars now too. One in his stomach and one on his chest. Those are from the worst day of her life.But none of those scars compare to the ones he carries on the inside. The self-inflicted cuts he makes to his soul never quite healing over. He blames himself. It’s not his fault.

There’s a scar on her soul now too. One he left. A piece of her heart forever missing.

Rating: Mature (mostly for language)

A/N: Guy, I suck so hard core. I don't even know how I let so much time lapse between chapter 2 and now, and then to really top off my suck-o-meter, I realized that there's going to have to be a chapter 4 because I can't fix what I've done so easily. Not realistically at least. I promise, and happy ending is coming though, and it won't take me another 8 months to get it up. I hope to have it up and finished by the weekend.

The AO3 version

It’s been a hell of a night. She’s not sure where exactly it falls on her list of worst days ever, but it’s in her top five. It has to be. It’s not the worst, that honor is saved for the night she almost lost Killian, but it’s still up there. She’s spent hours now going through all of the details over and over again with Graham and Lance, her story never changing. Getting poked and prodded by EMTs, despite telling everyone that she’s fine.

She’s not, but they can’t stitch up her insides.

David, her partner, on the other hand has a bullet hole in his leg. Better than his head though.

She’s not even sure if she can fully reconcile everything that happened. She and David were investigating the death of a low profile importer, a nobody, interviewing some dock workers that had found the body. Some gruff looking men who easily blended in with the usual fishmongers and cargo sorters.

But they weren’t. She realized it just a second too late, right before a bag was pulled over her head. She fought like hell, but she was at a disadvantage. From what she heard, David had put up a fight as well, but in the end, it was useless, and she lost consciousness with a sharp blow to the head.

She woke up strapped down to a chair with David the same a few feet beside her. She shouldn’t have been surprised, Jefferson had always given her a bad feeling, but she never actually thought he’d go dirty. She certainly never expected to be facing the wrong side of his department issued sidearm.

Even now, everything is still a blur. Graham assured her it’s the shock, that it’ll fade once the adrenaline wears off; that everything will clear up after a good night's rest. She’s not sure about that though. It’s four in the morning now and the adrenaline seems to be hanging on for dear life still and she knows she's not going to rest any time soon. Humbert offered to drive her home but she declined, choosing to wait for August to finish wrapping up his report.

She’s not sure what time it is when they finally arrive at her apartment. The battery in her cell phone died ages ago. Neither of them even make a move for the fridge, choosing to bypass the beer she keeps stocked for the hard nights. Instead, the two of them move in silence to her room. She plugs in her cell before crawling in bed next to him, like when they were kids in Ingrid’s foster house. She’s not sure who’s comforting who at this point, but she knows that she just needs to be with family.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She doesn’t, but she knows she needs to or it’ll eat her alive. She’s tried that once already and it ended up with her almost having a complete nervous breakdown and a three week leave of absence with daily Archie sessions.

“I don’t even know where to start.”

It’s true. So much has happened in the last twelve hours, there’s no one easy to pinpoint place to begin. So August goes first. He fills in the blanks that he can, so that she might be able to piece together the rest. He tells her about Killian sending him undercover, about Jefferson and missing drugs and money. How Jefferson was helping to conceal evidence that would link Walsh and the Nikko empire to a wide distribution of pixie dust.

Some of it is just speculation, that Jefferson must have figured out they were closing in on him and that’s why he went for Emma, and David was probably just collateral damage. How he most likely picked Emma because he knew how much she meant to him , and while he didn’t say Killian’s name specifically, the implication hung over her like a heavy cloud.

“Before you got there, he told Killian to choose. Between me and David I mean. To pick which one of us would live and which one would die. And then he just started laughing and screaming in this crazed voice that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget.”

It was the single most terrifying thing she’d ever heard. The mania that accompanied it. She already knew that it was going to haunt her for months to come, if not longer.

It’s a real Gracie’s choice. Gracie’s choice Killian. GRACIE’s CHOICE!!!

She felt August shift next to her.

“Gracie was his daughter. She died while he was undercover with a Southie Gang. Killian was undercover with Cruella at the time. It was a freak accident, a gas leak and the house went up in flames, but he was convinced that she was killed by one of the De Vil boys. He told me once that he knew Killian had given him up as a snitch to prove his worth. The De Vil’s had nothing to do with the Southie boys, but he’d twisted it up in his mind. I never thought he’d do anything about it though. It was just crazy drunk venting one night.”

She knows August. Knows that he’s blaming himself for what happened tonight, but she ignores it. Nothing she says will stop him from tormenting himself, and she’s not done.

“I told him to choose David. He has this whole perfect life, you know. An adoring wife and a new baby, all of these people that would miss him if he were gone. I told Killian to save David, and I-” She hates how small she feels when she cries, but she can’t hold back the tears. “He gave me this look. He’s been cold, but this was something different. There was just so much anger in his eyes.”

And that’s when she breaks. Knowing that hated her was one thing, but watching him train his gun on her. Seeing the pure darkness in his eyes. She doesn’t know how to voice it to August, but she knows that if August hadn’t arrived when he did, she knows he would have done as she asked. That he wouldn’t have had to think twice about it. And it’s that knowledge that sliced open the last piece of her heart that had been hanging on by a thread, even after all that time.

August holds her through the tears, until she finally exhausts herself enough to sleep. And so she drifts off, completely unaware of the new voicemail alert waiting for her.

________________________________

The February air is cooler on the water and he kicks himself for not bringing a heavier jacket. It’s been ages since he’s been out on this boat, and time has helped him to forget everything except for the things he wishes he could. Liam always used to tease him, so much so that Killian would reject any offers of warmth from his brother just to prove a point. He wasn’t some silly kid that needed to be minded anymore. He was capable of doing everything on his own, except for bringing an extra coat. He forgot everytime, and today was no exception.

Luckily for Killian, the spare that Liam kept on the boat just for him is still in its place, folded neatly in a small storage locker below deck. It hits him in the gut a little, that Liam could be so right about some things and incredibly wrong about others.

It’s eating Killian alive, not talking to his brother. Not being able to express himself because despite everything Emma has done for him, Liam still doesn’t approve of her. Liam often still thinks of him as the teenage boy, awkward and desperate for approval from anyone that will give it to him, even if it means getting taken advantage of.

He’s not that kid anymore though. He isn’t letting his crush steal his essays and letting her claim this as her own. He isn’t using all of his hard earned money to buy her jewelry that she’s just going to pawn for cash later. He isn’t following after Emma like a lost puppy dog.

He’s in love with her, and he has a sneaking suspicion that she feels the same way. But at this rate, he’s never going to get Liam’s blessing, the only approval he needs anymore.

He shouldn’t be thinking about this now. He really shouldn’t. Not when he and Liam are sitting in a rented dilapidated loft across from an abandoned fabric warehouse waiting for the Canal Street Cutter to emerge. There had been a lot of chatter that morning about where he might be hiding and Liam assembled teams throughout South Boston hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

Emma and August were stationed about eight blocks over. Lance and Arthur were on the edge of South Boston and Waterfront. Other teams were scattered, but too far away to get to if they needed assistance.

Killian had tried to tell Liam that it was a bad idea to spread everyone so thin, but the elder Jones brother had been instant and headstrong as ever. It would have been a career making arrest, and Liam, ever aspiring to be more just wouldn’t let that chance pass him by.

“I just think that you have other obligations that require your attention right now.”

“If this is the bros before hoes speech you can just save it.”

“Killian,” The exasperation evident in his brother's tone, “you know I detest such vile language. It's crude and you are better than that little brother.”

“What obligations?” He has to quash his desire to correct his brother’s description of him.

“I just think that you are meant for so much more in this life and I worry that you gave up so much when you left the narcotics division to follow her into homicide. You were a rising star there and now you’re having to cut your teeth all over again.”

“It’s not as if I’m starting all over. For God’s sake Liam, I just made Lieutenant. But there’s more to life than a job.”

His brother takes his gaze away from the binoculars to turn to Killian.

“Look at father and all of his vices. It strayed him from the path. But you, Killian, you persevered and now everything you've wanted is in your grasp.”

“This isn't the same thing and you know it. Emma isn't some pathetic man’s addiction. Liam, I'm in love with her.”

“Killian,” Liam pauses, taking a deep breath. “She's a distraction. Think of all that you’ve accomplished in the year that you were undercover. You brought down an entire crime syndicate. You did that without her taking your attention away.”

“I didn't bring the De Vil family down because ‘we’ were apart. I did it because we were ‘apart’ and I knew the only way I'd be able to see her again without putting her in harm's way would be to find the evidence and make the arrest.”

“Fine, if you need another reason, have you thought about working directly with her, or even over her in a supervisory position? Have you considered how your personal relationship with a subordinate could affect your judgment?”

“It’s not-”

Liams sees movement in the distance, cutting off Killian’s rebuttal, but his view is obscured so he motions for Killian to follow him, to leave the safety of their little room. They stay silent as they walk downstairs and head out a propped-open door leading to an alleyway. They had to wind through hallways to get from the loft outside and now they’re further away from the warehouse with no cover.

Killian even tries pointing out how visible they are, but Liam shuts him down, determined to close the case. He’s halfway sure that Liam’s trying to prove a point about how Killian can’t be successful and be in a relationship with Emma. He’s seen it before, the way professional jealousy destroys couples. But Emma’s not like that. She wouldn’t see his success as her failure.

They try to skirt the perimeter and he knows he should keep his mouth shut, this just isn’t the time, but he’s just so frustrated that he can’t keep holding it in.

“Please don’t make me choose between you.” It’s an angry whisper, more to himself than anything, and even though he did his best to keep his volume low it’s still enough that Liam’s heard and turns back to him, missing sight of the empty beer bottle at his feet.

The glass battering against the gravel echoes through the night as they both stay silent, waiting to see if they’ve been heard. The air is still around them, and Killian thinks they just might have lucked out.

And then he hears the gunshots ring out.

Liam is on the ground before Killian has time to register what’s happened. He runs to Liam, but gets knocked to the ground before he can get to him. His body hurts and he can see blood covering his hand from where he just touched his abdomen. He’s always heard people say that the shock blocks out the pain, but they must all be liars, because the longer he lays there, the more the pain intensifies.

It takes everything he has to pull himself behind a dumpster, half crawling, half slithering like a snake.

The shock eventually did kick in though, because even to this day he has no memory of radioing in for help. Just the vague memories of Emma leaning over him. The look in her eyes as she tried her best to hold back tears.

The same tears he fought back the night he left Boston, like the coward he was. But Archie was right. He needed to get his head on straight, to distance and center himself. He had to leave, for her.

He’s still wrestling with the guilt. He talked about it with Archie, how she begged him to kill her and save David. And that he actually considered it for about two full seconds. Not because he wanted to, but because he didn’t want her feeling the way he did. The burden of knowing that someone else was dead, and knowing that no matter how good you are, how hard you try, that you’ll never live up to them. He didn’t want her hating herself the way he did. Didn’t want her to destroy herself like he had.

But then something snapped inside of him and rage bubbled up. The audacity of her to beg him to kill her. For her to try and force that decision on him, with no regard to him or his feelings.

It was at that moment that he finally realized what he’d been doing to her ever since Liam had passed away. He finally understood the choice she’d been forced to make that night. And he knew - he knew that despite it all - he could never live with himself if he’d chosen anyone but her. That he couldn’t let her go just like she didn’t with him.

The only thing that saved him was Boothe. In the moments that passed after August arrived, while the two of them tried to wrestle the gun away from Jefferson, he felt the weight of Liam’s death wash over him. And then he heard a shot ring out and there was nothing but panic. Panic and guilt.

It felt as though ages had passed as he searched for Emma in the smoke filled room. The SWAT team had moved in at some point, but he’d been too focused on fighting off Jefferson to notice. He pushed through the sting in his eyes and the tightness of his chest as he looked for her, but all he saw through the haze were armored cops everywhere.

It wasn’t until he was forcibly escorted outside the building that he saw her, saw that she was safe, and then his stomach turned. He ran around a corner away from all of the prying eyes, and for the first time in his career, he gave in and let the night overcome him.

It’s been nearly a year since that night and he’s been running ever since. Some days are better than others. The anger is mostly behind him, but some nights he still wakes up in a sweat clutching his bed sheets, ready to fight. But there’s never anyone around to take a swing at, because he’s all alone. He’s pushed away anyone that ever mattered and isolated himself on that damn boat.

He thinks of Emma, wonders if she’s moved on or not. He’s too cowardly to call her, partly because he has no idea what he will say if she answers, but mostly because he’s terrified that she won’t answer. So he broods. He takes to the local bars as he sails the coastline and drinks a little too much before stumbling back to Liam’s boat alone. It’s a wonder nobody’s robbed him yet for what a careless sot he’s been.

Tonight is one of those nights. He’s made his way down to Florida and back, only a few hours away from Boston, and his demons are screaming again. He’s hoping against all hope that the rum in the tumbler across from him will help quiet them. Just holding the small glass in his fingertips helps a bit. A placebo of sorts. He doesn’t want to be this man anymore though. This pathetic lonely human. He doesn’t want to feel this way anymore, but he doesn’t know how to fix it. Archie said that him realizing it was a good first step but he’s not sure if he agrees. He’s called Archie a lot over the last year. Somehow doing therapy over the phone as the boat sways back and forth under his feet has helped to ease his hesitancy. There’s something about knowing that he can hang up at any time if he wants, and that no one knows. No one will judge him.

They don’t talk about Emma, not in present tense at least. They’ve had conversations about the way he’s treated her in the past, about his complicated feelings for her, the way it’s all shaped him, but they never talk about her now. He’s not sure if it’s because Archie doesn’t know if he’s ready for that, or if Archie knows something that he’s absolutely not ready for.

Archie is here tonight though, the rum is.

He’s still twirling the amber in his hand as he hears the familiar scraping of a nearby barstool against a wooden floor. There’s a scent that follows, a floral perfume that doesn’t match with the musk of the dive bar. He doesn’t look at her directly, doesn’t need to when he can see her from the mirror behind the bar. Her top is low, flashing more skin that it’s covering. She’s closer than he thought.

“Is that for me?” She’s bold.

He’s reminded of those early days on the force, when he wouldn’t even have to talk to a woman. When he could just flash her a smile and she’d be on his arm heading out the door to her place. He’s not that guy though, he’s salty and cynical, and the look he flashes her is closer to a smirk.

“Excuse me?” “Well, you’ve been toying with it for almost twenty minutes. I just thought maybe you were waiting for me to walk into your life.”

Was he this bad at picking up women?

“Look, I’m not trying to be rude, but I’m not in the mood for woman.” “So you’re gay?”

It’s a good thing he hasn’t started drinking yet because he damn well might have chocked otherwise. He doesn’t get a chance to respond though. The bubbly blonde that served him his rum has returned with a spray bottle in hand. “Mary of Mothers. Didn’t I already have you escorted out of here tonight, Teresa?”

“Bite me, Tinkerbelle.”

The girl behind the bar might be all of five foot tall but there’s a beast inside her that towers over any man in that bar and before he knows what’s happening the bartender is drowning the girl in what smells like stainless steel cleaner and the words coming out of her mouth would make any Navy man blush.

The girl ends up running away and Killian isn’t sure what to make of any of it. He’s broken up bar fights before, but he’s never seen anything quite like that.

“Sorry about that. I know this little bar might not seem like much, but it’s all I’ve got and I’ll be damned if I let the likes of her selling her body in here.” “Oh, she wasn’t-” “Trust me, where you had agreed upfront or not, you would have been light whatever cash you have left in that wallet before the night was up. And I’ll bet you dollars to pennies you would have had a lovely little itch or two down there.” She nods her head towards his crotch before switching the subject like she hadn’t just implied the poor woman from before was an STD ridden whore. “So, I haven’t seen you here before. Where you from?”

He’s not sure how she’s disarmed him so quickly, but he finds himself telling her all about himself over the next hour. Business has slowed down and her other barmate seems to be more than capable of handling the few strays still walking in.

She makes him laugh too with her feisty spirit. It’s been far too long since he’s felt at ease like this. They talk and talk. Not about much in particular, just random conversation. She bought the bar about six years ago, and tells him about how it’s let her build the family she always wanted and never really got. She’s carved out her own little place in the world and he envies her that. The way she can just lay her whole life bare to a complete stranger while he can’t even talk to the people that know him best.

The night rolls on and it’s time to close up. He half expects that she’s going to invite him upstairs, to the little apartment she mentioned earlier, but she surprises him. She’s done that a few times tonight, but this one hits him in the gut. “So, what’s her name?”

This time he actually does chock on the water she’s poured for him.” “I’m sorry, what?”

“Killian, in the last few hours, you’ve told me your entire life story, everything from your shitty father to your arrogant brother, your job, your leave of absence, but you haven’t mentioned a girl one single time. You’re holding back, which means there’s something to hold back.”

“You don’t know that. I could be gay.” “Um, ya, I saw you check out Teresa’s rack earlier, definitely not gay. So what’s the deal.” He doesn’t want to talk about it, but he doesn’t want to be rude either. So he gives her as little as possible, but she sees through him. In fact, she actually asks him what the hell he’s waiting for as she pushes him out the door.

He doesn’t really know what he’s waiting for to be honest. He’s wanted to go back to Boston, but there’s just so many threads he left unravelled when he left.

#These Wounds Won't Seem to Heal #Captain Swan #captain swan ff #CS fanfics

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txtdiaries · 4 years

Text

Void - Chapter Three

SUMMARY | Amidst your world shattering to pieces, the boy you met long ago manages to fit everything back together again. Also - zombies. Lots and lots of zombies.

PAIRING | Yeonjun X Reader feat. TXT

CATEGORY | apocalypse au, end of the world, survival, angst, romance, enemies to lovers, slow burn, etc.

WORD COUNT | 3.3k

WARNINGS | dark content, swearing, gore, weapon possession, etc.

A/N | So this hasn’t been proofread, but I hope there aren’t too many mistakes and u guys enjoy it anyway. Thanku for reading! <3

SONG REC | Wires - The Neighbourhood

Preview / Chapter One / Chapter Two / Chapter Three

The sun is dipping behind the horizon, colors melting against sky as the car rolls along the freeway. The majority of the younger boys are asleep in the car, it is silent, and Yeonjun is stressed out.

Of course, who wouldn’t be? He almost lost his life to something that looked like it walked straight off the set of The Walking Dead. And Yeonjun has never forgotten his weapon - ever. It’s in that moment that he knows.

He has to get rid of the girl sitting in the passenger seat. Soon.

The silence is uncomfortable as he drives. Neither is speaking, and even though he isn’t looking at her, he knows she isn’t asleep.

After a few minutes of the silence ticking along with the minutes, Yeonjun feels like he is going to burst. And then, finally, she speaks.

“Listen… uh- Yanjun-”

“My name is Yeonjun.” The older boy sneers, accent thickening as he enunciates his Korean name, still annoyed. He realizes just how annoyed he always is with her.

“Right, sorry! Yeonjun.” He stays quiet, letting her go on.

“I’m really sorry for what happened back there. I may have overreacted a little bit.”

Yeonjun scoffs as she continues, “And I just want to thank you for saving my life. I really appreciate it.”

The girl sticks her hand out as if he’s not driving, and after he gives it a side glance, she retracks it.

“Maybe we can be friends, you know, work together?”

Yeonjun almost swerves off the freeway at 90 MPH.

“Here’s how this is gonna work...” He searches her eyes for a second, noticing how she sits up straighter. She replies quickly with a, “Y/N.”

“Okay, Y/N, this isn’t some fucked up stockholm syndrome situation. I didn’t tie you up and throw you in the back of my Jeep because I thought you were too precious to save, and I definitely didn’t do it because I wanted you with us. I did it because it was the only option, got it?”

The girl blinks at him.

“It was the only option, and at this point you’re just deadweight to us now, okay? We aren’t going to work together, and we sure as hell aren’t going to be friends.”

It’s silent for a lot longer this time, before Yeonjun hears the girl reply back in a whisper, “If I’m just deadweight to you, why did you save me?”

“Jun, where are we?” Soobin grumbles suddenly from the backseat, stirring a bit as he starts to wake up.

“Just about there, Soobin. Go back to sleep.” Yeonjun replies as he pulls off of I-86 and into what seems like the local college town of the area. He decides to ignore the girl’s question as he turns on the radio. Of course, it’s just the low sound of static, but it’s better than listening to her questions again.

The farther Yeonjun drives into the town, the more he starts to notice the tattered college flags hanging from the unlit street lamps, and all of the broken windows in every building they pass. As he drives with caution, Yeonjun can tell how eerily quiet it is, apart from the radio. He spots the girl looking out the window, and decides to do the same, allowing himself to survey their surroundings.

A few home style diners and restaurants dot the blocks they pass, along with small gas stations (probably empty), and a few fast food places as well. The road guides him to a gentle curve, and then he realizes that he’s going in the direction of an underpass. For some insane reason he doesn’t completely understand, the lights along the inside leading to the other side are on, and they guide him to something that is shocking for him to see. The underpass opens back up at the end in a way Yeonjun can only feel like exiting a time machine would be. The tunnel cuts off, barren and with the walking path fences on either side rusted and destroyed.

But that’s not the part Yeonjun is paying attention to.

The buildings are breathtaking. They are old stone, brick, and clearly had been worked on to keep their vintage roots. One of the buildings on the right has huge archway windows on the second floor, which the moon reflects off beautifully. The street lamps are winded with decorative mistletoe, but the ribbons attached are tattered and almost black. Yeonjun sees what used to be bars, restaurants, all different colors. Green, red, and a pretty maroon color. He’s almost sad to see all of this - to get a glimpse of the real world back in front of him.

The farther he drives, the worse it gets. The town is beautiful, and he can only imagine how beautiful it used to be in the world before.

“This is old town.” The girl says softly from the passenger seat as Yeonjun approaches a huge park, even more trees on display and decorative lamps. He almost thinks he sees a fountain before he looks back at the girl.

“What did you say?”

“Old town. Like, downtown. The original one for the city.”

“How…” Yeonjun is surprised the girl knows as his curiosity intensifies.

“I uh… I used to live here. I went to college here.” She clarifies, avoiding his gaze now.

The older boy is even more surprised than he was before. She looked old enough to be in college, but he didn’t even consider it. Someone else having a life before all of this, much like he did. He never considered it until now.

“Up ahead it’ll take you to the fairly decent houses, lots of cops and bankers used to live on this side of town, but the houses will be trashed most likely. The long road past that will take you up the mountain to the super rich houses on top. Those might have some food and supplies, but it’s more dangerous. The high school is to the right, but the college is back around the way we came. Up to you.” She nods, not speaking anymore. Yeonjun is surprised she’s even helping him, but he hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“Thank you.” He says awkwardly, turning back around the way they came. He figures the college is their best bet. More buildings to search for safety in, and all relatively close to the gas stations.

She says nothing as he makes his way back toward the college.

The drive to the campus is somehow more tense than before, and Yeonjun is grateful when they finally pull into the main parking lot, in front of a building labeled, Museum of Natural History.

“The SUB is up ahead.” The girl speaks flatly, and Yeonjun gives her a confused look.

“Student Union Building. They have an event center inside, super spacious, just incase.” She clarifies, looking at him again.

“Sorry, I just never went to college before this all happened…” He explains, finally parking the Jeep.

The parking lot extends to a walkway that goes under the second floor of the SUB, and Yeonjun finds himself parking there to keep the car hidden. It’s almost like the whole slab of the SUB’s second floor is covering the walkway for a few yards, and then connects to the neighboring Museum’s second floor too. Past the end of it all, he sees a grand cement staircase leading up to the side door of the building. It’s perfect.

He pushes the gearstick into park and finally cuts the engine, sitting silent for a few moments.

The smaller girl is still gazing out the windshield, eyes scanning along the huge quad slowly.

“Is it weird to be back here?” Yeonjun doesn’t know why he asks, but he can clearly see the girl is visibly upset as she has her hands bundled in fists.

Without answering, she unlatches her seatbelt, swings open the door, and steps into the cold. After her feet hit the ground and she slams the door closed, the rest of the boys in the back groggily come to.

“We’re here.” Yeonjun sighs, turning on the upper light and pocketing the keys, “Grab your stuff, we’re setting up camp for the night.”

And then he’s getting out of the car himself, slamming his door and heading for the trunk.

“Hyung look, there’s a giant tiger statue back there!” Kai says with excitement, motioning back through the door they just came in through.

“It’s a Bengal.” Y/N corrects the youngest boy before leading the group farther in the empty building. The inside is pitch black, but the moonlight allows Yeonjun to see their surroundings, just barely.

To their right there is a huge staircase leading to the lowest level of the building, and a long hallway filled with multiple tables and chairs, like a huge eating area. Next to the help desk in front of them, small restaurants are grouped side by side as the window parallel shines even more light on all of the walls. The girl drags them to the left, taking them toward the offices and hallway that lie ahead.

“Fuck.” She says when she finally sees the door. It is bolted shut, with wooden planks and furniture piled against it. There is no way they’re getting in.

“Plan B?” Yeonjun asks annoyingly, making the girl brush past him, feet stomping along the way.

“Shut the fuck up, will you?” She snaps as she drags them back past all the small food places, leading them toward a staircase near the side of the building. Yeonjun can’t help but make another snarky comment at her. Soobin laughs under his breath. The youngest boys look shocked.

“Doesn’t this place have elevators?”

She glares at him when he speaks again, and juts her chin to the elevator along the right wall as they walk into the stairwell, saying nothing as she climbs up the stairs.

The boys all follow her, saying nothing at their interaction.

“Hey, Y/N, do you know where we’re going now?” Soobin speaks up, his voice timid as he catches up to the angry girl.

“Yep. Clearly the elevators don’t work but the top floor is our safest bet. There are tons of big rooms where we’ll be safe in. Unless you guys wanna spend the night in the bowling alley or the movie theater.” She throws in the last options offhandedly, knowing both will just be annoying to settle down for the night.

The two youngests perk up at this though, all voicing their excitement.

“There’s really a bowling alley and a movie theater here? This place was so awesome.”

“It is awesome.” Y/N clarifies, swallowing thickly before she leads the rest of the boys up the remainder of the flights.

Once on the top floor, Yeonjun knows why the girl chose it for their spot. There are dozens of lined rooms down the hall on either of them, and huge windows that show the entire campus and more, the land extending for miles upon miles. He can even see the mountain just off campus, trees swaying in the wind.

“Here you go.” She says, finally shrugging off the backpack she was actually able to retrieve from the trunk, “Home sweet hallway.”

The largest room is to their right, which gives them a view of both doors on either side of the hallway. Yeonjun nods a bit before appointing the group to set up their own sleeping bags and spaces.

The three youngest always stick together, all chatting about whatever is on their mind as they set up their sleeping bags, and Yeonjun notices that Soobin is back to chatting with Y/N easily, saying something he can’t pick up as he starts laying out his sleeping bag as well.

It’s like that for a few minutes, all of the boys laying out their sleeping bags, whipping their blankets in the air to get it into shape before laying it on the thin material of their makeshift bed. Yeonjun honestly cannot wait to sleep. He’s so tired, he doesn’t even think much about the fact that they can’t eat dinner. He hopes they will be able to find some food tomorrow.

“Hey Jun?” Soobin asks, catching the attention of the older boy as he looks up toward him.

“Where is Y/N going to sleep?”

All eyes settle on the girl sitting criss-cross on the floor, shivering lightly with her coat draped over her shoulders. Soobin frowns at Yeonjun before motioning toward her obviously, and the older boy just sighs.

“It’s not my problem Soob-”

“She can sleep in my sleeping bag if she wants.” The younger boy offers, already looking back toward the girl again. Yeonjun feels his heart leap up into his throat. He has to try hard to not eagerly deny the fact that she very much cannot sleep with Soobin.

It’s not that Soobin is a bad guy - quite the opposite actually. And the last thing Yeonjun needs is to hear the girl giggling from Soobin’s goofy antics all night long. No, he will not have that.

“She’ll sleep with me.” Yeonjun says firmly, nodding before he kicks off his shoes and places them next to his flimsy little blanket layers on the ground.

“Not happening.” Y/N finally speaks up, glaring at Yeonjun, “I’d rather get mauled by a zombie.”

“Be my guest then, that is, if you don’t freeze first.”

Yeonjun grins sarcastically at the shivering girl, and even though she is wearing multiple layers, he knows she’lll still be freezing if she doesn’t contain enough heat to get her through the night.

“Jun.” Soobin tries to interject, but the blue-haired boy just glares at him.

“Not a debate, Soobin. Go to sleep.”

The tallest boy looks sadly at the girl, before turning on his back away from her. The rest of the boys do the same, leaving her shivering in silence.

Yeonjun doesn’t know what time it is when he feels movement from his side. His eyes snap open in fear quick enough, though, and he almost reaches for his bat next to him before a soft voice breaks through the darkness.

“Jesus, relax. It’s just me.”

The girl’s teeth are chattering as she crawls under the layers of blankets Yeonjun has above his body, and he doesn’t say anything as the side of her body is suddenly flush against his.

“Thought you’d rather be mauled to death.” He rasps, still half asleep as he nuzzles further into the blanket.

“Shut up, will you?” The girl responds, voice still low so she doesn’t wake the others.

It is quiet for a while, both of them just breathing together. Yeonjun doesn’t know if it’s awkward, but he’s too tired to care. After driving for so long, it starts to take its toll.

“Yeonjun?” The girl says softly, causing the older boy to glance over at her. She sighs before speaking again, “Who were you before all of this?”

The boy blinks at her, mind reeling before he stares up at the tiled ceiling again.

Does he want to do this? Does he really want to open up to the girl who he can’t help but fight with every single second?

He doesn’t have much of a choice as he opens his mouth, and his exhausted body starts speaking honestly.

“I lived in Korea.” He explains, but he doesn’t know why she cares enough to ask. He doesn’t know why he cares enough to explain. He wouldn’t have asked about her, but it’s clear she had other intentions.

“I worked for a company called Big Hit. It’s like a company that trains and creates Idols. Kind of like celebrity performers.”

The girl listens intently to his words, not speaking as he goes on.

“This was our first debut, coming to America. I always dreamed about coming back. I studied in California for a few years when I was younger, but it was always my dream to come back. You know you’ve made it when you make it in America.”

Yeonjun shifts to his side to get more comfortable, and suddenly realizes how close they actually are. He can feel the girl’s breath across his cheeks, and he has to keep himself from pulling away with anxiety.

“I- um… the rest of the boys were in a group with me. We were all idols. But when the virus hit, we got stranded here. Our managers died in a car accident, and we were lucky to make it out alive. We all just want to go back home.”

He doesn’t know why, but somehow he can’t stop. Maybe it’s the way she’s looking at him, listening, or because he hasn’t talked to anyone like this in a long time.

“I loved dancing. I trained as an Idol for years, but it was all worth it because I loved it. Before all of this, I studied really hard, and I enjoyed hip hop the most. It was my favorite to dance to. Just being able to move my body freely to the music, I loved every second of it.”

Yeonjun stops now, not really knowing what else to say. He feels embarrassed, a bit flustered, and he tries to take the attention off of him as he asks, “Who were you before all of this, Y/N?”

The girl is still, eyes glossed over as she bites her lip a bit. Yeonjun can see it’s hard for her to talk about it, but she still does. She still opens up to him, because he did to her.

“I was… I was a student. I worked my ass off at community college to come here, and I got scholarships and grants just to be able to live here on my own. I had a rough time in high school, but college was supposed to change everything for me. I was living alone, trying to make friends, and just attempting to start my life. I came from a small town, where people get trapped like poison. No one comes out of my hometown unless they’re willing to risk everything for it.”

Yeonjun can feel his heart beating steadily against his ribcage as the girl speaks, and he can’t help but feel understood by her. He takes a deep breath to stomp the feeling down.

“I remember I was so excited to finally start. I was studying marketing and creative writing. I loved writing so much, I was so excited to be able to do what I loved. It may not seem like much, this town, but it’s all I had. It was the only chance I had at becoming someone else - someone better.”

She looks over at Yeonjun suddenly, and is surprised when he nods for her to continue.

“I grew up in this state my whole life, and my only goal was to leave. All I ever wanted was to leave.”

The smaller girl can’t help but get choked up, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down. Yeonjun easily slides the blanket farther over her shoulder, hoping the softness will comfort her a bit.

It takes a bit for her to finish, but once she does, Yeonjun knows she is exhausted.

“So that was it. I made it here, and then the virus stole it all from me. My education, my family. All the hope I had. Just… gone.” She says, eyes now closed as she lies next to him. He doesn’t know what to say, and he truly doesn’t think anything he can say will make her feel any better.

“You should rest.” He whispers to her, hand moving up before he realizes what he’s doing.

Before Yeonjun knows it, he’s wrapping his arm halfway across the girl, holding across her chest in a hug, his hand holding onto her right shoulder gently.

He slightly expects her to swear at him. He also expects her to punch him in the face.

She does neither.

Instead, her breathing evens out, and she falls asleep like that. With her body finally warm next to Yeonjun’s, and a single tear slipping down the side of her cheek.

Yeonjun allows himself to fall into a deep slumber soon after.

After all, tomorrow, they have to get a move on.

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mrsmaybank · 4 years

Text

Gas Station Girl - Spencer Reid x Reader

Spencer Reid’s first impression of the Reader is mixed. She’s “audacious, promiscuous, clever, and troubled.” and there is so many things Spencer would like to do about it.

A/N: I’m writing a Spencer Reid x Reader multific! The series will be intense and 18+. Age gaps, Explicit sexual content, angst, family issues, dark themes including: violence, suicide, murder, death, blood, and drug addiction. Chapters will of course have trigger warnings depending on the content. Enjoy and PLEASE leave me feedback!

TW: Language, age gap, sexual themes, use of “Little girl” as a pet name

Fic Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4WYosdR6Tz4y9lsmUghoMU?si=wnGjN7ncS5-ZoaXYmESY0g

Nothing should surprise you at a gas station at 3:53 in the morning. Yet as he witnessed the scene, Dr. Spencer Reid felt like he was in a film, watching an actress put on a show. Perhaps his exhaustion from a week long case was resulting in hallucinations. Because no way in hell was he watching a drunk girl explain the Ad Hominem fallacy to a gas station cashier ‘cause he wouldn’t sell her a pack of Malboros. He didn’t even know where to begin profiling her. The slurred voice didn’t match the perfectly worded, almost profound analysis she kept explaining to the disdained employee. His eyes scanned her for any more clues, beaten-up black converse, ripped denim shorts A tiny tank top with some band he didn’t recognize. Her features were so unique, they were mesmerizing. The attraction he felt towards her was undeniable. But was it the irrationality of the situation in combination with his intense feeling of being out of place or the beautiful, wild mess of a girl with a notable command of the English language that was rendering him speechless?

He swore he could’ve stayed in the trance forever, until he heard the bellowing shout of the previously silent cashier. “Get the fuck out!”

“Jesus fuck fine! Fuck you!”

He watched as she purposely knocked down a rack of chips as she stomped out in defeat, his mind instantly comparing her to a child throwing a fit when they didn’t get their way. Grabbing a coffee and a bag of pretzels, he walked over to the counter where the whole ordeal had gone down.

“Just this?” the now calm cashier asked. Then Spencer did something that he normally would have blamed on alcohol, but was made under absolutely no influence other than the mystery girl.

“Pack of Malboros?” he said, almost too unsure of himself.

“I.D?”

He took out his wallet and handed him his card, the cashier giving him the same look of awe everybody else did when they saw his FBI identification. He gave him a tight lipped smile, paid and made his way out of the store. His eyes searching for the girl who had completely accidentally grabbed his attention as he did. There she was, sitting back against the wall, legs crossed to her chest.

“Late night?” he asked when she looked up at him.

She smiled. The grin was practically poisonous, it was infatuating. “Nah, early bird.” She joked.

Spencer didn’t know what to say, so he just stared, memorizing every unique feature on her captivating face. “You look like you’re in yesterday's clothes too motherfucker.” And the only thing he could think of was giving her dirty mouth a lesson.

He chuckled, “I am actually. Landed about,” he checked his wrist watch, “An hour and a half ago.”

“On business? You look pretty office-y.” She scanned him up and down, and he pretended not to notice as she bit her lip in a soft smile.

“Yeah,” he ran his fingers through his hair, “I heard you telling the man in there about Ad Hominem. It was a really insightful explanation, don’t get me wrong. But, uh why?”

“Well, instead of arguing with evidence, he started to insult my character. So I figured I might as well tell him what he’s doing, you know?”

Spencer definitely did know, and it almost reminded him of something he would do. “I, uh, I do. More than you think. Anyways I uh-” he pulled the pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. “I got you these.”

Her eyes lit up in a sad excitement, “I could kiss you right now.” she got up and he handed her the small box. She took two cigarettes out, placing one behind her ear and the other gently in between her lips, lighting it on her first go at the lighter.

She inhaled hard, smiling at Spencer as she blew out the smoke. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“But I did.”

“You did huh? Well you really know your way into a girl's heart.”

“Only girls like you.” The words spilled from his mouth before he could think. He scanned her eyes for any sense of offense. But she looked more amused.

“And what kinda girl am I?”

“Audacious, promiscuous, clever, and troubled.” She laughed out loud.

“Got any evidence?”

“You’re drunk, alone at a gas station at 4 in the morning, and yet you’re participating in this conversation with little to no hesitation. You’re audacious. You’re dressed to flaunt what you know to many is tempting, you smile with ‘Fuck Me’ eyes. You’re promiscuous. You’re witty and know about literary fallacies, you’re articulate and know exactly what you’re saying even under the influence. You’re clever. And again, you’re drunk alone at a gas station at 4 in the morning. You’re troubled.”

“Well you got me pinned against the wall.”

“Ha, not yet.”

“Oh shit Mr. Office.” she choked out in between drags and chuckles.

Spencer watched as she repeated the same slow motion of dragging the cig to and away from her perfect lips, exhaling the smoke. “You gotta name?”

“Spencer.”

“That’s pretty screamable.”

Spencer couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped his mouth. This girl was a fire, an intense flame that he wouldn’t be able to stop from ravaging him. The laugh caused him to drop his wallet, and before he could pick it up, the girl was opening it. He winced in anticipation for questions about his job. Not out of fear, but more of annoyance.

“I don’t trust the government.” she looked at him, completely seriously and then back to his wallet. “Dr. Spencer Reid.” A grin spread across her face, “I’ve never fucked a doctor before. Or an FBI agent.”

Spencer was speechless, this girl was just too much trouble. “What’s your name?”

“Hey, just cause you accidentally exposed yourself does not mean I have to.”

“I’m never gonna fuck you if I don’t know your name.”

“Y/N.” she spat out quickly, “Y/N.”

“Okay, good. Do you need a ride home?”

“This feels a little kidnapy don’t you think Dr?”

“I’m doing my job as law enforcement. Naive little girl at a gas station at 4 in the morning. This sounds like the beginning of a case, I’m trying to do my job.”

“I’m not naive.” she said in mock offense.

“Get in the car.” She giggled and skipped happily in Spencer's footsteps to the passenger seat.

“What's your job anyways?”

“I’m with the Behavioral Analysis Unit, I profile Serial Killers.”

“Profiler? No wonder you got me all figured out.”

She laughed again, “You profiled me!”

She began to play with his stereo, playing the kind of music meant to fall in love to. Spencer glanced at her as he drove. There was so much left to learn about her, but he could tell she was special in every connotation. He wanted to spend the rest of his life learning new things about her.

As they pulled into her small apartment complex he turned to her for the final time, “Hey why didn’t the cashier sell you the cigarettes anyways?”

“I’m not 21.”

“I gave drugs to a minor.”

“Not a minor. Not coke.”

She grabbed his face, pressed a kiss to his cheek, smiling into it and licking a stripe with her tongue across his blushing skin. “Bye Dr. Thanks for the ride.” He watched as she walked up the stairs into the only apartment with the lights on.

#spencerreid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfiction #reid x y/n #reid x reader #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom

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mallowstep · 3 years

Text

(hand games on the playground court)

"Bubblegum, bubblegum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish?"

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11-

"Alright, Featherpaw, you take my place."

* * *

"Where are we going?"

Mistyfoot glances back over her shoulder. "We're going on a little walk."

"But it's dark."

Stonefur meets her eyes. If they get caught taking the kids out, they'll be separated, and then they have no hope of protecting them.

"I know," Mistyfoot says. "It'll be fun. A little adventure."

She squeezes Featherpaw's hand a little tighter, and they cross over the road, making it deeper into the woods. Stonefur fiddles with the cellphone he picked up last time he was in town. They've waited months for a chance to use it.

Stormpaw grabs a twig, dragging it through the dirt, and Featherpaw twists a finger through her hair.

"Hey," Stonefur says. "Yeah, yeah it's me. We're alright, I've got the kids."

Stonefur crouches down, smiling at Featherpaw and Stormpaw. "I've got your dad on the phone," he says, pressing a few buttons. "Okay, Greystripe, you're on speaker."

"Hey, kiddos," Greystripe says. "How are you doing?"

Stonefur passes the phone to Stormpaw, and the kids chatter on about their days. Stonefur stands next to Mistyfoot, and she rests her head on his shoulder.

"I'm running out of cash," he says, his voice low to avoid the kids' attention. "This might be their last call."

"I'll see what I can find," Mistyfoot says. "We should..."

What should they do? Leopardstar has custody of the kids. They can't take them to Greystripe without getting dragged back here.

Stonefur puts his arm around her shoulders. "We'll figure it out," he says.

On the way back, Mistyfoot reminds the kids that this has to be their secret. They don't ask why.

* * *

Stormpaw hits the ball away from him, watching it bounce twice in the square next to him.

"You're out!" he calls, and they all rotate squares.

"Your serve," someone says. Stormpaw smiles. He doubts he'll be knocked out before recess is over.

* * *

Stonefur taps on the window to the kids' room. Stormpaw opens the window, looking confused.

"Stonefur?"

"Shh," Stonefur hushes. "Quiet, okay?"

"What are you doing here? Tigerstar said you went missing."

"Yeah, I know." Stonefur takes a deep breath. "Where's your sister?"

"I dunno. Mistyfoot took her somewhere."

Fuck. He doesn't know what his sister has planned, but he can't wait for them to get back. He's sure he's already tripped an alarm, and it's only a matter of time before someone finds him.

"Okay," he says, "You and me are going to go on an adventure, okay?"

Stormpaw looks hesitant.

"It'll be fun," Stonefur soothes. "Come on, you get to climb out a window. Isn't that fun?"

Stormpaw clambers out, and Stonefur grabs him. He's too big to carry comfortably, but too young to walk fast enough to make it out. "Piggy back ride, okay?"

"I can walk."

"I know." Stonefur shifts Stormpaw, and closes the window as best he can as Stormpaw wraps his legs and arms around him. His heel kicks into the gouge in his side, but Stonefur does his best not to react.

"Where are we going?" Stormpaw asks, as he treks towards town, turning back over his shoulder every couple of minutes.

"We're going to live with your dad," Stonefur says.

"What about Featherpaw?"

Stonefur adjusts Stormpaw, wrapping his arms under Stormpaw's knees. "I'll go back for her once we get to Greystripe," Stonefur says.

He walks until noon of the next day. They're in a new town, and he forks up enough cash to get them a motel room. Stormpaw's head is resting on his shoulder, and he slides the kid into the bed as gently as he can. Hopefully, he can run to a gas station and back before Stormpaw wakes.

The attendant examines his purchases. Stonefur doesn't have cash to waste on hiding what he's doing. A bottle of rubbing alcohol, sewing kit, and a new burner phone. He's lucky he's wearing a jacket, because he's sure his shirt has been soaked with blood.

Stormpaw wakes when Stonefur opens the door.

"Hey, buddy," he says. "Sleep well?"

"I'm hungry," Stormpaw says.

"I know. I need a minute, and then we'll see if we can't scrounge up something for you to eat."

Stonefur shuts the bathroom door and starts the sink. His side is angry and red, and this is going to hurt like hell.

He doubles numbers in his head, high as he can keep track of, as he cleans it out and stitches it shut. It's not a good job, but he can't afford a doctor.

Stormpaw is fiddling with the TV when he opens the door. He looks at the shoddy stitches. "You should see a doctor."

"I'll be fine," Stonefur says. "Just a second, and then we'll find some food." He dials Greystripe's number. It's been nearly six months since they last called him. "Greystripe, it's me."

"Stonefur?"

"Yeah. Listen, I can't talk for long, but me and Stormpaw are on our way to you."

"What happened? What about Featherpaw?"

Stormpaw hangs upside down off the bed, mouthing along to the theme song of some children's cartoon. Stonefur is surprised he remembers seeing it.

"I didn't have time to get her. It was one or none." Stonefur runs his hand through his hair. He must look half wild. He'll have to clean them both up before they leave, if they want any hope of not attracting attention. "We won't be there for a while. Maybe a few months."

"I can come to you," Greystripe says. "Where are you? Do you need anything?"

"I don't have an ID, I don't have a bank account, and we've gotta keep moving," Stonefur says. "We'll be fine. You're at the same address?"

"Yeah. Can I talk to Stormpaw?"

"Yeah. But listen -- Mistyfoot will take care of Featherpaw. I wouldn't have left her if she would be alone."

"I know." Greystripe is frustrated, angry, even, and Stonefur can't blame him. "Keep in contact, okay?"

"Yeah. Don't talk for too long. I only have so many minutes."

* * *

Tawnypaw is jumping.

"For all have sinned and fall short in the glory of God," they chant, Tawnypaw jumping on every other syllable.

It's fall, and they're not back in school. Tigerstar says it's a bad influence and probably why Stormpaw left and he won't risk any more children being corrupted.

* * *

Maybe Mistyfoot should be more surprised when she's moved into a new room with Featherpaw. But it feels par for the course. Tigerstar has been livid ever since Stormpaw and Stonefur ran (or since Stonefur died, he keeps changing the story and Mistyfoot isn't sure which one is true), and cramming them in a windowless barely-more-than-a-closet feels about right.

Featherpaw is seemingly unbothered.

"He's isolating us," she explains. ""Cause our brothers were bad so we're probably bad so he doesn't want it to spread."

Mistyfoot cradles Featherpaw against her. "We're not bad," she says. "Our brothers aren't either." She runs her hand through Featherpaw's hair. It's tangled, but she doesn't have a brush.

"Tigerstar says we are," Featherpaw says. "Says we need to do a penance-" she slows down over that word, like she is making sure she has the right pronunciation "-so that our souls will be clean again."

Mistyfoot kisses the top of Featherpaw's head. "We don't need to do anything," she says. "Tigerstar doesn't know what he's talking about."

Featherpaw shrugs, like she doesn't want to argue but still thinks Mistyfoot is wrong. "He didn't let me bring my book," she says, her nose scrunching. "I was in the middle of a chapter."

* * *

"Last piece of cake," Stonefur says. "Who gets it?"

It's Stormpaw's tenth birthday. He hasn't celebrated his birthday since he was five, but Stonefur brought a cake back to their room and said they were celebrating this year.

"We should...thumb wrestle over it."

Stonefur smiles, but Stormpaw is pretty sure Stonefur lets him win. But Stormpaw doesn't touch the piece of cake.

"You won," Stonefur says, "don't you want it?"

"It's Featherpaw's birthday too," Stormpaw says.

Stonefur's jaw tightens, and his eyes crinkle at the corners. He rubs Stormpaw's shoulder.

* * *

Stonefur steals a car in late December. It's too cold to walk, and they're both exhausted, and he doesn't have the money he needs to buy one.

He'd be ashamed, but he doesn't have another choice. Stormpaw sits in the passenger seat, even though he's definitely too young for that, and Stonefur passes him a map.

"Ready, navigator?"

"Ready."

* * *

"Concentration!" Featherpaw says, "sixty-four!"

Mistyfoot doesn't know any games, so Featherpaw is teaching her all the ones she knows. Tigerstar hasn't let her go back for her book, or let her take any of the worksheets they've been doing back to their room, and Featherpaw doesn't have a long enough piece of string to do a cat's cradle. "I go first, you follow." Mistyfoot is watching Featherpaw carefully, but she's doing the motion fine. This is an easy game, anyway. There's nothing going on. It's mostly about the words.

"Category is...animals."

Mistyfoot smiles.

"Sheep."

"Mouse."

"Cow."

"Dog."

"Cat."

Someone bangs on the door. "Will the two of you shut up?"

* * *

Tigerstar places his hand on the small of her back.

"I hope you're doing well, Mistyfoot. I'm sure it's been hard, losing your brother like that."

Tigerstar sighs, using his other hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ears. "It just goes to show you, you never can be sure about who's loyal."

* * *

That summer, Stormpaw draws a hopscotch grid on the driveway. Greystripe has bought him chalk, and markers, and a new backpack and more than the two sets of clothes he had been washing out in bathroom sinks.

"There aren't really any neighbourhood kids to play with," Greystripe says, "but if you're okay with winning all the time, I'll play."

#mine #human misty au #stonefur #mistystar #feathertail #stormfur #misty au #this is the most literal title #and was also very fun to write #i did have to review a lot of childhood games tho #i didn't jump rope #and my singular memory of playing four square #was being terrible at it #i do know a lot of hand games tho

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tundrainafrica · 4 years

Text

Title: Passion Project (4/4)

Summary:

“Ignoring Hange Zoe had become a little passion project he allowed himself to indulge in, in between expeditions and quietly mourning unnecessary deaths in the battlefield.”

Levi tries to ignore Hange but it never seems to last. A ficlet detailing the development of Levi and Hange’s relationship before canon.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Link to other chapters: 1 2 3

“Captain, you’re moving a little too fast, could you please slow down with the next titan?”

“Moblit, this is the tenth titan I’ve killed today.”

“Apologies sir, we might need some clearer sketches so our squad leader could make the final decision on these blades.”

“Okay then.” Levi held back the grimace that was threatening to come out then. Moblit was just following orders after all.

Cooperating with each other’s squads was Erwin’s orders and in the end, Levi and Hange still had to work together. The first few experiments were easy, quality checking improvements for grenades, base supplies, flare guns and gas cannisters. They were all routine and Hange didn’t need to be there. Soon after she stopped showing up, Levi started to realize he didn’t have to show up in any of her capture missions either, only making it easier to pretend she didn’t exist.

At that moment though, having been stuck on the wall strategizing for more than four hours already, Levi was starting to accept that pretending Hange didn’t exist wasn’t such an efficient idea. When Hange wasn’t simping for titans after all, she had the brain of a logistics and a research prodigy, a rare gift that had propelled her to the top of that military section in the first place.

Levi couldn't help but think with his little struggle with Moblit, he had just stumbled upon a situation of the blind leading the blind. And with every failed attempt to get feedback on the prototype blades, its effect on the balance of the user, and the efficiency with which it cuts through the titans' nape, the inevitable only became all the more inevitable (if that was even possible). They wouldn’t make it on time for their deadline.

Levi jumped back down to the foot of the wall. There were three more titans attempting to scramble up the walls to no avail and Levi had two tests, the control and the experimental test and with that, two types of blades to test, the original and the prototype. They had come up with the genius idea of using a different type on each hand. Or begrudgingly, it had been Hange’s idea which Moblit had so graciously told him that afternoon after their miserable last session a few days before.

We need to check how deep you can slice with each of them. Moblit had said. And whether it slices cleanly through the neck. The older weapons were naturally duller which made cutting up napes a tall order for the average soldier.

Hange though had been working on a different blade which could make killing a titan an achievable goal for even the cadets in the garrison unit.

Levi felt some difference having been using those same blinds for long enough already. It was nothing more than a minute difference in movement for him. Levi was good with comabt which made him so easily adaptable already to the difference of blades. Hange had sworn though that there was a stark difference, many experiments ago back when they were still on speaking terms. With that unspoken yet mutual agreement not to speak though, Moblit was left with the burden of sketching what he can to capture that minute difference and Levi was left to find a way to slow down his movements to something accessible to the naked eye while exposing himself to the novel risk of being eaten by a titan with every single round.

Levi only realized as the sun started to set below the horizon and the sky started to look a little redder, that they had been up on the wall for what must have been five hours. They were both blind and consequently inefficient.

“We could try this another day?” Moblit suggested.

“You should get NIfa or Keiji here to help next time. More people to sketch, the faster this will go.”

Moblit put down the sketchpad and sighed. “I’m the only one who actually sketches among us so I don’t think they would be much of a help either. Our worst case scenario then is we hire other artists? Hopefully Commander Erwin would allow the funds for that. ” Hange’s right hand man had a generally courteous demeanor. Although Levi had felt a little accused by Moblit’s face, he couldn’t tell if the man really meant to inject spite into that statement.

He was right though. For one, of course Erwin wouldn’t waste the already low budget the Survey Corps receives every year on artists when a free alternative existed already.

Get Hange to show up for the experiment.

But it wasn’t that easy. Levi thought to himself. Eventually his anger at Hange dissipated but by then, even before he was aware of it, ignoring each other had morphed into a cruel game by some nonverbal agreement between both sides. Hange just stopped looking at him when they were in the same room and he decided to reciprocate that same action. Possibly out of pride more than anything else.

The situation at the scouts headquarters that night was no different. Hange and Levi’s squads were stationed nearby and everyone knew each other fairly well. As they all reunited in the castle after Hange’s successful attempt at training her own squad and Levi’s special Ops squad for the next titan capture attempt and Levi’s unsuccessful attempt at testing the blades, the tension in the room only became stronger.

Levi felt it as a sensation that consumed him slowly from his toes all the way to his fingertips, leaving him unable to do much but lock gazes with whoever was nearby that wasn’t Hange. He heard it in the uncomfortable mumbles of both Oluo and Petra, the more emotional ones in his team and he saw it in the way Moblit had a smile much wider than what should have been professional.

In his peripherals, he saw it, Hange making small talk with Gunther and Eld to her right, praising them for their quick wit and their ability to master the titan capture contraption she had been cooking up.

The frustrating part was, there was no tension in the way Hange gesticulated and gave out praises in that annoyingly sing-songy tone. Back then, it had felt like screeching in his ears. At present, that voice completely bypassed the ears and went straight for his chest sending piercing and almost nauseating sensations through his heart.

“I'm really grateful. Thank you for all of your help cleaning the lab last week. And of course, for cooperating with me today. My family sent over some souvenirs so I thought I’d share it. ” Hange went for the cupboards to the side of the common room and came back with a large enough bag with the familiar royal seal of that same familiar black tea shop.

“Their shortcakes are also pretty good so I asked my parents to send some over.” Hange continued as she laid out the boxes on the table. There were boxes of tea and boxes of shortcakes. Levi quickly counted them and was sure there was enough on the table for every single person in the room to have one box of tea and one shortcake.

Hange started to slide boxes over to the other soldiers

Rashad. Gunther. Moblit. Nifa. Eld. Keiji. Lauda. Oluo. Levi had occupied himself by saying the names out loud in his head. Hange was taking her sweet time, making sure to say a word of praise to every single person on the table.

That friendly gesture on her end only served to pull Levi back to the situation at hand despite his attempts to distract himself. Was she going to say anything about me? Was she going to apologize? Make peace?

He was on the other side of the table though, the farthest from her and Hange had gone for those closest first. He had to be patient.

After what felt like a lifetime to Levi, Hange only had four more boxes on the table. Two for herself and two for me. Levi thought to himself. Despite the tensions in the room, he found himself excited to be able to taste the delectable shortcake which he had been admiring in the underground, along with the black tea that despite the somewhat salty memories in retrospect still had the malty and bitter taste he enjoyed so much.

Levi chose the exact moment her hands went for the black tea to look up at her. To his surprise, she was looking back at him.

They were on opposite ends of the large round table and thus, the distance only made it difficult for Levi to realize that she wasn’t looking at him at all. It was as if she was looking past him.

At the window behind him. “Looks like it’s getting late everyone. We should get back to the barracks. I’ll keep these two for myself,” Hange said, sliding two of the boxes into her bag.

And the other two? Levi found himself asking silently. The discomfort he was feeling had him speechless.

As if to answer his question, Hange slid the two boxes across to Petra. “Petra, you really worked hard on that first aid plan today. We're trying to keep casualties to a minimum so that was really a great addition to the plan. You deserve something extra.”

“Ah… Thanks!” Petra answered. Levi noticed she had snuck an uncertain glance at him. Levi looked away, not wanting to influence whatever decision Petra chose to make. There was only one decision though that could have made Levi the least uncomfortable at that moment.

“Maybe you should share it with some family or friends?” Hange suggested. “You might know someone who would appreciate this. I heard It’s going to be pretty difficult to find something with this recipe from now on since they’ll be phasing out the shortcake. I heard they’ll be changing the black tea recipe too. It’s one of my favorite mixes so I’d be happy if as many people as possible got to try it.”

Hange could have been thinking about him or she could have been thinking about anyone in the general public. Levi though had erred too much on the side of the assumer.

He didn’t want to make that mistake again.

Passion Project

“To be frank, I don’t feel too good about having to approach you too like this. As a commander and as your friend, I trust both of you to do your jobs. As of late though, it looks like you two have been experiencing some bumps when actually trying to do your jobs. Care to explain?”

To Levi’s relief, Hange spoke up. He had no plans of being the first one to answer.

“What do you mean by… bumps? Erwin?”

It was as if Erwin had been ready to answer the question for a while. His approaching the desk and pulling out a wad of papers conveniently at the top of his drawer had seemed rehearsed.

“Let’s see here,” Erwin said. “I am still expecting a deliverable on the proto-type blades the research team has been working on… And Hange, why does your plan for the next titan capture mission involve everyone in Levi’s squad except Levi. “

“I thought Levi would have been busy with experimenting on the new blades so I didn’t want to bother him too much. Also... since I’m only expecting to capture one titan on our next expedition, I think his squad is more than capable of handling the titan capture without him.”

I wouldn’t have picked them if they weren’t. Levi had to note. He found himself a little amazed that despite the tension between them, Hange had given a pretty reasonable answer.

“And about the experiments on the blades Levi, have you been working on those?”

“Yes. Moblit and I have been working on them,” Levi answered, keeping his replies as brief as possible. He didn’t think he had Hange’s charisma to pull off such a reasonable explanation but he should at least be able to manage not making a fool of himself.

“And it looks like you’ve been working on them for more than a month,” Erwin noted. He looked to Hange. “Hange, How many trials do you need?”

“Just one good one. I only need to see Levi’s movements and positions when he slices the blades, I think that’s more than enough for me to see whether the new prototype can really be helpful to the average soldier.”

“Then why is this taking a month to do?” Erwin looked to both of them and Levi was somehow relieved that at least whatever fault they may be concluded to have, it would most likely be shared between the both of them.

“I asked Moblit to sketch it,” Hange answered with the same charisma and confidence of a while ago. If Hange had been talking to an idiot with that tone, she would have convinced them.

Erwin though, was no idiot. “Sketch it?”

“Sketch Levi’s position.”

“You mean draw Levi’s position in the air while he’s slicing the titan’s nape.”

Hange nodded. “Moblit is a very good sketch artist.”

Erwin raised one eyebrow and turned to Levi. “And Levi, how has that been working for you?”

“Moblit says I move too fast,” Levi answered.

“And that’s why it’s been taking you a month to do this?”

“I’m still trying to learn how to slow down.”

“And why can’t Hange see for herself the experiment?”

“She’s busy,” Levi answered.

Erwin rested his chin on his hands. “Oh, so you too have been too busy to coordinate yourself that Petra and Moblit had to do all the liaising for the both of you?” He took out the first two pages and slid the rest of the papers under them.

One crucial part of being a leader of his own team had completely slipped Levi’s mind as he played the silent treatment card a little too seriously. The paperwork.

“If I recall correctly, I told both of you to fill out these reports together. A lot of the technological developments in the survey corps are dependent on both of your performances after all.”

Hange and Levi both remained silent.

It didn’t look like Erwin was giving them time to defend it either. “Why are these both signed Moblit and Petra? Neither of you could make it to the fortnightly meeting I required of both of you? And neither of you even bothered to tell one another you couldn’t make it?”

Levi swallowed the lump in his throat. That had been an oversight on his end and as he looked to Hange to see that same panic, it turned out he wasn’t alone. Levi had asked Petra to handle the paperwork so he wouldn’t have to deal with Hange.

And it turned out Hange had done the same.

“Both of you are lucky you have subordinates who know both of your trades so well that even if it wasn’t signed by them, I still would have thought the both of you prepared it.” Erwin said as he fixed the papers neatly on his desk. “Except the handwriting part.”

It was an attempt at some humor to lighten the already awkward mood of the room. It hadn’t worked though. With how he felt, Levi actually felt slightly insulted that Erwin had mentioned their shitty handwritings on top of their inability to do their jobs.

“I’m seeing an issue of communication here and I think you two should be addressing it now. The next expedition is in three days and I don’t want any unnecessary deaths just because of some bad communication and failure to deliver on both of your parts. If I see another paper signed by Moblit or Petra--- or scratch that, anyone else other than both of you, any time in the near future, I will shred all the reports I have right now and I will ask both of you to redo it all.” Erwin paused for long enough to glare at both Hange and Levi. “Don’t test me.”

And with that, the short meeting was over. Hange stood up, gave a friendly greeting and walked out.

The door frame could have fit both of them. Levi though, had let Hange go first, not wanting to confront her then. Hange’s face had been unreadable and after that small rageful stint in the research lab a few weeks back, he realized there were buttons about her, he just didn’t want to push just yet.

“Levi, stay.”

Levi looked back at Erwin and mechanically moved back to his seat.

“Moblit and Petra already told me about what happened so I don’t need the whole story from you if that’s what you’re expecting,” Erwin started.

“What did they tell you?”

“What happened after the titan went loose and after her lab got destroyed.” Erwin shook his head. “But that’s not the point. As your commander, I’ll say this. You and Hange are two of the most valuable soldiers in the survey corps. It was your cooperation that got us into this standing in the first place and that’s why it’s in all our best interest that you two keep your communication lines open.”

Levi could only listen.

“And as both of your friends, this is what I have to say. You two are just going to remain as miserable as you are right now if you don’t fix this between yourselves.”

“Miserable? What makes you think I’m miserable?” He had already accepted long ago that it was making him miserable. What makes you think Hange is miserable?

“Maybe because you’re denying it right now?” Erwin said.

There should have been more to it than that. And the knowing look Erwin had given Levi then only added to his self consciousness at that moment. He noticed everything from the way his shoulders dropped, to the way he had leaned further into the chair and the way he had let his eyes fall to the floor below him. “And Hange? What makes you think Hange’s miserable?”

“She denied it too.” Erwin looked pointedly at Levi. “In this exact same way.”

Passion Project

Erwin had made sense. If that whole debacle with the titans and the cold war that followed hadn’t made him a little miserable, he probably wouldn't have entertained the prospect at all. Whether he could say the same for Hange, at that rate he didn’t want to assume.

The commander had seemed privy to both sides and it was he who decided the next plan of action to go about the rift that was created between the two.

Talking to Hange is easy. Proving to her that you still consider her a valuable friend is a little harder.

It was only through Erwin’s words did he realize how much of an arse he had been to Hange lately. He had played that little game of silent treatments since Hange had approached him about the titan capture mission. All he needed was Erwin to knock some sense into him before he quickly recalled everything, while a little more biased against his own actions.

And this is how you repent for this. Levi had to remind himself as he wandered through the woods. He wasn’t excited at all for the plan Erwin had laid out.

“Hange has been a little hyper fixated on getting a specific type of sample she wanted to work with. If you give it to her as a peace offering, maybe you could win back her trust?”

Maybe? It wasn’t a maybe. Erwin had proposed it in a way that it sounded foolproof. And Levi was starting to become a little more convinced that it might just work. Not just because of Erwin’s persuasion. Also because he was doing something that had been so unimaginable and so repulsive of an idea that he would have never done it if it wasn’t for the suggestion and the eventual prodding of Erwin. He probably would have tried any other idea first. But that was the idea left for him. He was desperate and somehow, he was clinging to the hope that Hange would see that desperation.

Most titans stay in the woods so keep an eye out for it. They’re usually on the ground next to the trees and they look like tiny cocoons. Levi was sure he knew what Erwin was describing. In fact, he had seen them multiple times before.

Maybe in this same forest. He had his procedural memory on his side. All he had to do was retrace his steps. As if his own motivations to talk to Hange again were spurring him on, he didn’t take too long to find one.

The cocoons were titan puke and they didn’t dissolve as easily as titan blood. Beneath those cocoons were half digested dead bodies.

But Hange doesn’t need those. She wants the digestive juices. Erwin had pointed out.

“The digestive juices and the spit,” Levi repeated to himself like it was some sort of mantra. He only ever wanted to do that once in his life and that only time he would be doing it, he needed to do it perfectly or risk having to go back.

He took out the jar he kept underneath his cloak and bent over next to the cocoon. He pulled his green cloak up to his face to at least protect himself from the odor that he was sure was coming.

The cocoon already had an odor, a faint ominous odor that only hinted to Levi that there may have been more of it underneath.

With one blade, he poked a hole into the cocoon, and ripped it open a bit towards the top. It was big for an arm to move freely inside without actually having to touch the shell of the cocoon. It wasn’t big enough to send the digested material spilling out.

The smell was horrendous and Levi felt tears spilling out of the corners of his eyes. Even with a first line of defense on his face, nothing had prepared him for the stench of rotting flesh mixed with digestive juices and a titan steam. It had his head spinning and Levi found himself teetering to a tree as far away as possible from the scent but still at least near enough to keep an eye on the cocoon.

He took a break and he made sure it was a quick one. He counted down two minutes to be exact. He only had ten to twenty minutes to finish this little project before a titan appears or worse, his squad starts to look for him. He had little time to waste.

He removed his cloak, folded it and wrapped it tightly around his face, covering all the way up to his eyes which were burning from the stench.

This wasn’t a test of courage nor was it a life threatening combat situation. As Levi got closer to the cocoon, he quickly memorized his surroundings before pulling the cloak up to his head. For that five minutes, he could spare his vision and his full range of movement. He could be as cowardly as he wanted to be.

But really, he would have rather been facing thirty titans at that moment.

Levi found himself having to talk to himself, having to coax himself through the motions just to be able to get his feet moving towards that horrible stench. All he had to do was feel around for the cocoon, dip the jar in, quickly put the cap over it, run away and the hell should be over.

“Levi, why are you here? And why are you like...” A voice rang out in the darkness.

The hell would have been over. It seemed like the devil heard his monologue and opened up another circle of hell.

“Hange?” He had attempted to say. The cloth had gotten caught in his mouth and it had ended up sounding a little more like a muffle. He had tried to enunciate the words a bit before the fold of his cloak got further caught in his mouth.

Levi should have godly balance with the amount of experience he had flying through the air, killing man eaten beasts. At that moment, incapacitated by the foul odor, the awkwardness of the situation, the embarrassment of being caught in it and the disorientation that came with having a piece of cloth tightly wound over his whole head, Levi lost his balance for the first time in years.

He fell forward with a big, loud and incredibly putrid splash.

“Hey! Are you okay?”

Levi felt arms around him before the putrid and mildewy smell rushed up his nose, taking his consciousness with it.

“Get yourself together!”

Passion Project

When Levi came to, the odor hadn’t left. In fact, it was more pungent that he could even remember and Levi had to bury his face on the cloak that was conveniently in front of him to stop himself from hurling whatever those odors were pushing out of him.

The cloak didn’t smell as clean as his own. Any smell though far enough from the one he had just witnessed was a good enough respite. The respite didn’t last long though, soon enough the scent did creep up on him and as Levi soon realized, the cloak had the beginnings of that same odor.

He was the one who smelled like it. That exact moment when the odor did rush through him into his nostrils and spread to both up his head and down his throat, the horse he had been riding broke rhythm and had Levi jumping in his seat.

“Stop….” Stop the horse. Levi felt the contents of his stomach quickly climb up as if the odor had pulled them out himself.

“Levi, you okay?”

Of course I’m not! Levi would have wanted to say. Before he could even ponder the ridiculousness of the question, his body took over his inhibitions.

The last thing he remembered before faded out of consciousness was the cloak in front of him drenched with his own personal cocktail of digestive juices.

Passion Project

“Good morning!”

It had been a week since they got back from the expedition

“I brought breakfast.”

And he had been waking up to that same view of Hange by the door since he started to get a better sense of his surroundings.

The breakfast consisted of bread and egg whites just like he requested. He had attempted a more daring combination of food when he first woke up, and the first night Hange had even tried to serve him black tea. The foul odor which still lingered like a ghost made itself particularly known through his taste buds. With the more daring food choices, Levi found himself facing a disgusting mix of rotten mildew and edible food which had him nauseated if not throwing up at just the first bite.

With the plain choice of egg whites and a piece of bread, he was at least able to placate that little ghost of an odor. He didn’t enjoy the tastes and the sensations which still stung at his throat and rushed to his nose in the most inopportune time. As Hange had told him though countless times since they got back from the expedition, he still had to eat.

He was halfway through the harrowing experience of chewing the bread when Hange spoke up.

“I looked into the samples you took and I think I found out why it smelled weird. To be honest, I threw up too when I opened the jar.” It was just like her to have a little lack of awareness at the fact that Levi was still far from recovered from the titan cocktail debacle and the fact that he was still eating when she mentioned it.

Levi willed himself to swallow the last morsels of bread. “You really want to talk about it now?” he asked, eyeing the plate of egg whites in front of him. The egg whites were starting to look less appetizing by the second. As if they were appetizing. Levi almost forgot how ‘appetizing’ actually feels like.

“We can talk about something else first,” Hange suggested.

Levi pushed the plate away. “No, go ahead.” He had lost all motivation to force the food down his throat. Somehow, the explanation for his one week of recovery that followed that splash into what could have been hell seemed to be more ‘appetizing.’

“The cocoon on top of the rotting flesh and organic matter, was the ideal environment for some fungi to grow too. And that pungent smell was released by the fungi when their vacuum was disturbed…” Hange started. “On top of the titan spit and the rotting bodies…”

Levi knew it was odd. Despite being his fastidious self, Levi had been exposed to enough disgusting things to have at least been able to stand the odor. He had been drenched with titan blood. He had been surrounded by dead bodies a few times. That odor shouldn’t have been enough to knock him out.

But it did.

The pungent odor was cruel. It lingered for days. In fact, even Erwin had sympathized as if he knew how horrible that smell had been. He had given him the week off after the expedition to get his life together after. It was Hange who had stayed in the room while he alternated between the bed and the bathroom. It was Hange who forced him to eat enough so he wouldn’t starve to death.

That week while he recovered from the ordeal of a head first splash into the cocoon juice, his life consisted of sleeping and showering and struggling to eat in between.

“Figures…” Levi said

“And for someone as obsessed with cleanliness as you, of course it would have made you a little sicker.” Hange paused for a second and her lips curled up subtly. “And you did dunk your head in.”

Levi blinked back the memory of that fiasco. It had seemed like a fevered dream then. From what he understood, he had flitted in and out of consciousness on the way back from the last expedition. There were voices discussing the logistics of transporting an unconscious yet stinky captain and one notable voice that had stuck out, so confidently volunteering to have him ride behind her. The only proof that it was anything but a fevered dream was that vivid memory of throwing up half conscious on Hange’s horse and the strong bout of embarrassment that followed. So strong that Levi felt the blood rush through his face just thinking about it. He ended up looking away. That was the last thing he wanted to recall then. He coughed. “Did you find out anything else from those samples?”

Hange shook her head, looking regretful. “Nothing much that could have hinted to the origins of titans. So far… It was all rotting organic matter. The cocoon had smoked when you opened up, which means if there were fluids from within the titan, they might have evaporated already by the time you got the samples.”

“So it was all a waste?”

“Not really. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that type of fungi in my life. Maybe I could study it in my free time,” Hange said. “And you can help by telling me all about your experience.”

That wouldn’t be an experience Levi would have been happy to recall. But if she were going to continue looking at him with that same wonder and curiosity, with that same wide smile and starry eyes, he might just comply.

He didn’t tell her that though but he didn’t reject her either. “Maybe…”

“I’m sorry. I never got to thank you for the samples...” Hange’s cheeks were a little rosier which only made Levi stare at that smile for a little longer. “I was planning on getting samples during that expedition but then I found you there... getting them for me… Why did you?”

“You like studying titans right?”

“But I know you don’t like that I do it. You hate titans and you’re a clean freak. And I was, studying them, enjoying it, making messes, sometimes endangering lives…Ever since before, when I started focusing more on titan research, you don’t visit as often and when I suggested we capture a titan, you kept ignoring me. It’s like you’ve been avoiding me. And with what happened in the lab... You told me yourself you didn’t want to talk to me anymore… So I didn’t expect this at all…”

Levi admitted, he regretted those last few words. But everything before that, those biweekly tea dates, those hours he spent just waiting for her in the lab. How could those have been interpreted as him not wanting to see her? “Weren’t you the one a little too obsessed with your research?”

Hange widened her eyes. “Was I?”

“All you did was coop yourself up in the lab, I had to be the one to take you out for baths, force you to actually spend time with me. How the hell does that make you think I didn’t want to hang out with you.”

“Because you always sounded angry when we actually talked.”

“Did I?” Levi had to concede, she had been annoying and frustrating and maybe he had raised his voice at her. And he did have to knock her out a few times to get her to bathe. But did he really have any other choice?

“You knocked me out to bathe me,” Hange said pointedly.

“Maybe because I thought you should take care of yourself more and Moblit has been trying to tell you that for years.”

“Yes I get that Levi but knocking people out actually does the complete opposite of self care. You could have asked nicely.”

“Weren’t you listening? Moblit has been asking you nicely for years.” Levi hissed. “I had to resort to that because you weren’t listening to anyone. If the titans were the ones who reminded maybe you would have actually listened,” Levi turned to her and narrowed his eyes. “Does your relationship with your squad mean anything to you? Does our relationship mean anything to you? Or is the only thing in your head just titans now?”

Hange’s eyes were wide with shock for a while. The realization he could make out in her face was enough for Levi to stop and wait for her response. Her expression was at least enough for him to want to listen to what she had to say next.

“Maybe you’re right… I’ve been a little too excited,” Hange’s expression softened. “It’s been so long since I’ve gotten this excited over something. When I see titans, I’m excited, when I see an abnormal die, I get angry. When I got Ilse’s journal and read through it, Levi… I felt something bubble inside me and I was ecstatic for days. Is this hope? Wonder? There’s so much we don’t know about this world… I don’t know, I don’t think I’ve ever been this emotional in my life and lately, I get so excited just waking up every single day. How would you describe this feeling?”

Hange’s words were stilted and it was apparent that she was talking while coming up with what to side. Her words were coming out faster than her mind was coming up with them. Yet at the same time, they flowed so easily and smoothly, like an unimpeded stream.

Passion Levi could only suspect one emotion that could do just that to people. And as Hange started to talk about the one thing that had made her so emotional, so excitable and so hyper fixated that past five years. When he saw the way her eyes wandered around the room, probably not focused on her surroundings but on the memories of all those creatures that had made her so excitable, he was sure she was seeing more colors and more sensations.

He himself was no stranger to it. The past five years, he had been more irritable, more angry, more frustrated. At the same time, he had been happier. Back then, when they had first met, he never did understand what kept her rambling on to other people about nonsense. But somehow, with the amplification of his own emotions the past five years, the sudden emotional investment he gave to specific things, he started to emphasize.

You have your passion projects and I have mine. Levi closed his eyes and looked away. The truths and implications behind that sentence had Levi’s chest hurting and it brought back the memories of his own fractured ribs from many years ago having been squeezed by a titan. His heart was hurting and the pain rushed all the way up to his mouth.

And Levi swallowed it back in as quickly and as violently as it had rushed out.

“Hey? You okay? You’re gonna puke again?”

“No,” Levi managed to answer. He wondered though if he had come out as a croak or as a coherent answer. He kept his eyes closed and detached himself from his surroundings, allowing himself one final reflection of what had rocked him so violently to the core.

The realization came after an eternity that could have probably only lasted a few seconds. She was his passion project. Somehow, he wished that he had been hers too.

When Levi opened his eyes again, Hange had pushed a basin in front of him, ready to catch anything that comes out of him. She was staring at him so intently, saying things about keeping it down, getting some rest but he hadn’t been listening.

He saw wonder in her eyes. He felt concern in her tone. And maybe, underneath all that, there could have been care, and possibly even passion. Do I make you feel the same way? Do you feel things with me that you don’t feel with titans? Somehow, he had managed to convince himself that the expression she gave him as they locked eyes, were only his to enjoy.

“I’m fine.” As quickly as that feeling clenched at his chest and pushed the bile up at his throat, it pushed it back down again and with it had placated that war that waged inside him.

“Hey, you scared me. I thought you were gonna get sicker again and go on those long naps again. The last time you ever slept that long was in the hospital.”

Of course Hange would know. She had been the one visiting everyday. “I won’t. Besides, you’ve been visiting everyday right? Don’t you have research to do?” Levi asked.

“Well, I thought I’d wait for you to feel better first. Besides, there are things I wanna test and I’d rather you were there with me.”

I thought I’d wait for you to feel better first. Levi found himself smiling. “Thanks for taking care of me.” For once, she had picked him over titans.

“Of course, you’re humanity’s strongest and we have lots of work to do when you’re out of leave. Erwin still needs reports on the new blades and we’re going to have to redo the titan capture strategy if you’re willing to help out…”

As quickly as the smile had curled up his lips, it morphed into a grimace.

“But first things first, let’s focus on getting you up to speed. Are you going to finish those egg whites? You’re not doing yourself any favors leaving it like that.”

With the right prodding, Hange managed to get Levi to swallow those egg whites in spite of her incessant and detailed rambles about her findings on that very unappetizing cocoon.

Passion Project

Levi did not doubt it. Hange did live with passion. He felt it as a tingle in his eyes when he would count the stars in her eyes as she reported the results of her research over strategy meetings and nights of cafe. He felt it as blood rushing to his ears when he’d hear her shrill screams from up on the wall as he proved another one of her hypotheses about titans correct. He felt it when his nose burned as he entered the lab, only to have to knock her out for another bath.

It was fairly obvious what had been breathing life and passion into her. Those feelings were all tied to one thing--- titans. To save himself the potential pain of expecting something from the unexpected, Levi chalked up her passion for titans as an inevitable truth.

Sometimes though, he was the object of her shrill screams or those stars in her eyes. In those few times, he stood corrected. And in those not-so-few occasions he was proven wrong, Levi was happy for hours, maybe even days.

“I wonder if you’ll still get this much praise if they find out how much of a neat freak you are.”

One of the few places Hange seemed to give him more attention than usual was the ride to the gates of the walls. It was that heavenly in-between. Hange was too far from her lab, yet still too far from the field to be considering titans. And for those few moments, sometimes he did have her full attention.

Just like every other time she engaged in a non-titan related conversation with him, it was music to his ears. Those moments always came as a welcome reprieve Levi wished would never end.

“Just beyond these walls is a world of titans…”

Just like all other reprieves though it ended. Levi used the view of the gates rising in front of him as some sort of distraction to her passionate tirade

“I wonder what kind of titans I’ll meet today...”

And once again, Levi heard the passion. That time in the music in her voice as she trailed off.

“I would really love it if we ran into an abnormal!” Of course, Hange played favorites even among her favorites.

“There’s an abnormal nearby already.�� That little provocation from Levi had come up as something so casual and emotionless. Yet, Hange ate it up so quickly, Levi was sure that was where her appetite went.

“Really? Where?” Even within the confines of the wall, she was still looking for them. As if she didn’t have enough test subjects, samples and records within the walls to stare at.

And that train of thought in particular had Levi wheeling his horse a little closer to her, just to mess with her a little more. Maybe illicit some reaction from her.

“Over here.” I’m the abnormal titan. I’ll be the abnormal titan you’re so idiotically looking for within the walls.

Hange only returned his look with a confused one of her own. He looked for stars in her eyes or maybe a flush in her cheeks to find none. She just seemed utterly confused and unpreturbed and Levi found himself feeling a little disappointed in return.

Titans were disgusting. They were filthy. They were chaotic creatures. In that split second where he felt himself manifesting just a little the titans Hange loved so, he wished he were one of them, just so she could look at him, just so she could talk to him with that same sing song voice and scream at him with that same shrill sound.

“Soldiers ready!” Erwin’s voice rang out among the crowd, so naturally grabbing everyone’s attention, notably his and Hange’s.

His duty as a soldier was always priority though. As quickly as he had manifested that jealousy towards the titans, he forced it out of his mind. When Erwin demanded attention, those passion projects took a backseat, something he would only reserve a minute or so to ponder in between titan kills.

He had expected that expedition to be similar.

It turned out though, there wasn’t much mind space or emotional space to consider that passion project any longer. With the siege of Trost, the capture of titans, the 57th expedition and the quickly progressing chain of events that followed, the frustration at the unrequited feelings that came with his passion project had faded into nothing more than a regularly passing thought.

Hange never left. In fact, he was working with her more closely than before. Her projects, her experiments, her conclusions and her crackpot theories fueled by passionate research were just turning out to be more and more crucial with every development.

It was slow going and sometimes Levi did entertain that green eyed monster that would pay its occasional visit. With each turn of event and with each truth uncovered though, Levi did eventually have to accept the harsh truth that accompanied their reality.

Maybe, it was for the better that the titans kept their rightful place, the center stage of Hange’s little passion project.

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

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