#Children’s Day 2021 messages

[sayruq]

NAHLA AL-ARIAN HAS been living a nightmare for the past seven months, watching from afar as Israel carries out its scorched-earth war against her ancestral homeland in the Gaza Strip. Like many Palestinian Americans, the 63-year-old retired fourth-grade teacher from Tampa Bay, Florida, has endured seven months of a steady trickle of WhatsApp messages about the deaths of her relatives. “You see, my father’s family is originally from Gaza, so they are a big family. And they are not only in Gaza City, but also in Deir al Balah and Khan Younis, other parts,” Al-Arian told me. Recently, the trickle of horrors became a flood: “It started with like 27, and then we lost count until I received this message from my relative who said at least 200 had died.” The catastrophe was the backdrop for Al-Arian’s visit last week to Columbia University in New York City. Al-Arian has five children, four of whom are journalists or filmmakers. On April 25, two of her daughters, Laila and Lama, both award-winning TV journalists, visited the encampment established by Columbia students to oppose the war in Gaza. Laila, an executive producer at Al Jazeera English with Emmys and a George Polk Award to her name, is a graduate of Columbia’s journalism school. Lama was the recipient of the prestigious 2021 Alfred I. duPont–Columbia Award for her reporting for Vice News on the 2020 explosion at the port of Beirut. The two sisters traveled to Columbia as journalists to see the campus, and Nahla joined them. “Of course, I tagged along. You know, why would I sit at the hotel by myself? And I wanted to really see those kids. I felt so down,” she said. “I was crying every day for Gaza, for the children being killed, for the women, the destruction of my father’s city, so I wanted to feel better, you know, to see those kids. I heard a lot about them, how smart they are, how organized, you know? So I said, let’s go along with you. So I went.” Nahla Al-Arian was on the campus for less than an hour. She sat and listened to part of a teach-in, and shared some hummus with her daughters and some students. Then she left, feeling a glimmer of hope that people — at least these students — actually cared about the suffering and deaths being inflicted on her family in Gaza. “I didn’t teach them anything. They are the ones who taught me. They are the ones who gave me hope,” she recalled. “I felt much better when I went there because I felt those kids are really very well informed, very well educated. They are the conscience of America. They care about the Palestinian people who they never saw or got to meet.” Her husband posted a picture of Nahla, sitting on the lawn at the tent city erected by the student protesters, on his Twitter feed. “My wife Nahla in solidarity with the brave and very determined Columbia University students,” he wrote. Nahla left New York, inspired by her visit to Columbia, and returned to Virginia to spend time with her grandchildren. A few days later, that one tweet by her husband would thrust Nahla Al-Arian into the center of a spurious narrative promoted by the mayor of New York City and major media outlets. She became the exemplar of the dangerous “outside agitator” who was training the students at Columbia. It was Nahla’s presence, according to Mayor Eric Adams, that was the “tipping point” in his decision to authorize the military-style raids on the campus.

On February 20, 2003, Nahla’s husband, Sami Al-Arian, a professor at the University of South Florida, was arrested and indicted on 53 counts of supporting the armed resistance group Palestinian Islamic Jihad. The PIJ had been designated by the U.S. government as a terrorist organization, and the charges against Al-Arian could have put him in prison for multiple life sentences, plus 225 years. It was a centerpiece case of the George W. Bush administration’s domestic “war on terror.” When John Ashcroft, Bush’s notorious attorney general, announced the indictment, he described the Florida-based scholar as “the North American leader of the Palestinian Islamic Jihad, Sami Al-Arian.” Among the charges against him was conspiracy to kill or maim persons abroad, specifically in Israel, yet the prosecutors openly admitted Al-Arian had no connection to any violence. He was a well-known and deeply respected figure in the Tampa community, where he and Nahla raised their family. He was also, like many fellow Palestinians, a tenacious critic of U.S. support for Israel and of the burgeoning “global war on terror.” His arrest came just days before the U.S. invaded Iraq, a war Al-Arian was publicly opposed to. The Al-Arian case was, at its core, a political attack waged by Bush’s Justice Department as part of a wider assault on the rights of Muslims in the U.S. The government launched a campaign, echoed in media outlets, to portray Al-Arian as a terror leader at a time when the Bush administration was ratcheting up its so-called global war on terror abroad, and when Muslims in the U.S. were being subjected to harassment, surveillance, and abuse. The legal case against Al-Arian was flimsy, and prosecutors largely sought to portray his protected First Amendment speech and charitable activities as terrorism. The trial against Al-Arian, a legal permanent resident in the U.S., did not go well for federal prosecutors. In December 2005, following a six-month trial, a jury acquitted him on eight of the most serious counts and deadlocked 10-2 in favor of acquittal on the other nine. The judge made clear he was not pleased with this outcome, and the prosecutors were intent on relitigating the case. Al-Arian had spent two years in jail already without any conviction and was staring down the prospect of years more. In the face of this reality and the toll the trial against him had taken on his family, Al-Arian agreed to take a plea deal. In 2006, he pleaded guilty to one count of providing nonviolent support to people the government alleged were affiliated with the PIJ. As part of the deal, Al-Arian would serve a short sentence and, with his residency revoked, get an expedited deportation. At no point during the government’s trial against Al-Arian did the prosecution provide evidence he was connected to any acts of violence. For the next eight years following his release from prison in 2008, Al-Arian was kept under house arrest and effectively subjected to prosecutorial harassment as the government sought to place him in what his lawyers characterized as a judicial trap by compelling him to testify in a separate case. His defense lawyers alleged the federal prosecutor in the case, who had a penchant for pursuing high-profile, political cases, held an anti-Palestinian bias. Amnesty International raised concerns that Al-Arian had been abused in prison and he faced the prospect of yet another lengthy, costly court battle. The saga would stretch on for several more years before prosecutors ended the case and Al-Arian was deported from the United States.

“This case remains one of the most troubling chapters in this nation’s crackdown after 9-11,” Al-Arian’s lawyer, Jonathan Turley, wrote in 2014 when the case was officially dropped. “Despite the jury verdict and the agreement reached to allow Dr. Al-Arian to leave the country, the Justice Department continued to fight for his incarceration and for a trial in this case. It will remain one of the most disturbing cases of my career in terms of the actions taken by our government.” That federal prosecutors approved Al-Arian’s plea deal gave a clear indication that the U.S. government knew Al-Arian was not an actual terrorist, terrorist facilitator, or any kind of threat; the Bush administration, after all, was not in the habit of letting suspected terrorists walk. Al-Arian and his family have always maintained his innocence and say that he was being targeted for his political beliefs and activism on behalf of Palestinians. He resisted the deal, Nahla Al-Arian said. “He didn’t even want to accept it. He wanted to move on with another trial,” Nahla said. “But because of our pressure on him, let’s just get done with it [because] in the end, we’re going leave anyway. So that’s why.” Sami and Nahla Al-Arian now live in Turkey. Sami is not allowed to visit his children and grandchildren stateside, but Nahla visits often.

[sunny44]

What about us?

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x ex!Reader

Warnings: mentions of loneliness, sadness, breakup, co-parenting and maybe more

Summary: Where Lewis hasn't been himself lately.

Next Chapter

Lewis and I met when I was working in the media department at Mercedes, I wouldn't say we fell in love at first, but he was definitely the guy I loved most in my life.

But unfortunately not everything we love stays in our lives forever.

We dated for 3 years and then when 2021 came, he was so devastated that the title was taken away from him that our relationship didn’t last.

He was so out of himself that u didn’t recognized him anymore, I seem like the man I love was taken away from me when he lost that day.

So that when we decided to go in separated ways.

But 3 months after i found out that u was pregnant with our daughter and we had to get our path together again. He said to me the day I told him about my pregnancy that I saved him for making the stupidest mistake of his life because he was about to retire from formula 1.

The internet already new that we weren’t together anymore but they just discovered my pregnancy when he posted about it.

We obviously will have a connection for the rest of our lives and I am extremely happy that we manage to be in good terms or co-parenting would have been harder.

I would be lying if I said it was easy because it wasn’t, the fact that we are separated makes Harley's schedule and routine harder than would be if we were together.

Today is Harley’s 3th birthday and I’m was going crazy with everything, she wanted a formula 1 themed party and it was all thanks to her father who got her addicted to the sport.

So here I was running around my apartment to decorate everything while she was with Sebastian and his wife.

Kika is here with Pierre and the other boys helping me with the party.

Lately he was kind of absent, he obviously came to see Harley but when I tried to talk to him, Lewis answered as little as possible and my messages he didn't even answer.

I had been trying to get him to help me with her birthday but now I was worried that he wouldn't come.

I hope he is only busy now in the afternoon because I will kill him if he doesn't show up.

We live in Monaco so some of the drivers came since they are all passionate about Harley.

This includes George, Pierre, Sebastian, Charles, Carlos, Daniel, Max and Lando.

Max and Lewis were not biggest fans of each other, far from it, but Benjamin his son was best friends with Harley so we met occasionally. And above all they treated each other with respect so we had an acceptable relationship for the sake of our children.

And Lewis hated that Harley adored Uncle Max.

The party had been going on for two hours and nothing came of him, I didn't know whether to be worried or angry.

"Mommy, where's Daddy?"

"I don't know my love, he should be here soon." She agrees a little discouraged but runs to where Ben and Max were.

"Anthony do you know where Lewis is?" I asked his father who was talking to my parents.

"I don't know darling, he said he would be a little late but he would come." I sighed in frustration. "I'll try to call him."

"Thank you."

He left to try to call his son and I went off to try to concentrate on distracting Harley with play.

…

He appeared in the middle of the party and I sighed with relief when I saw him coming through the door with Angela with him, Harley ran up to her father and I was happy to see her smile.

"How nice of you to come." I hugged Angela and she smiled.

"You've done well with the decorations." She said and I thanked her. "Can I talk to you? I want to take advantage of the fact that he's distracted by her."

I looked at the two of them and Harley was talking non-stop and he was listening attentively.

"Sure." We went into the kitchen where no one was around. "Is everything all right?"

"I'm not sure, I'm a bit worried about him."

"What happened?"

"I arrived at his apartment today and everything was a mess and he was asleep on the sofa." I was surprised because he rarely slept during the day and his apartment was always spotless. "I tried to talk to him but you know how he is, Lewis doesn't open up easily but he ended up saying that he wasn't happy and that he missed you both a lot."

"But we're always here."

"I think he misses a family." I sighed because I understood his feeling. "You know that he loves you both more than anything in the world and I remember when you were together he was planning to marry you, have children and have you live in a more secluded house so that you wouldn't be swallowed up by the media but from one moment to the next his plan became just a dream."

"I understand."

"And the only thing that's kept him going over the last few years is that little girl and the fact that you're her mother because that's what's kept you in his life. But he hasn't been the same for a while."

"I've noticed that he's been acting strange lately, he doesn't talk to me directly and avoids me whenever he can."

"Because he knows that you know him like the back of your hand and that you would know what was wrong with him." She takes my hand. "I'm not telling you this because I want you to feel guilty or anything, but I wanted to ask you to talk to him and try to help him in any way you can."

"All right, I'll talk to him after the party."

...

I said goodbye to the last few people and the only ones that were still around was Max, Ben and Lewis

"Buddy it's about time we go home." He says trying to talk the boy off the trampoline.

"Not yet Daddy, wait a little longer." He says short of breath from jumping around.

"If you don't mind I can take him to your apartment later."

"All right, thanks." He said goodbye and went home.

They kept jumping on the trampoline while Lewis was inside grabbing the trash.

After 10 minutes Bem said he was tired and i asked Lewis to watch Harley while I take him to his father and when I came back I could hear them in her room.

"I've missed you so much, Daddy." She says, already lying on her bed.

"I missed you too baby bear." She smiles tiredly and closes her eyes. He kisses her forehead and stays there for a few more minutes until he sees that she's asleep.

"Hey." He smiles as soon as he sees me outside her room. "I'm sorry I couldn't help, I got caught up with some work stuff."

He was lying but I knew it was juts for me not to worry about him.

"It's okay, I sorted it out." He smiled and went back into the living room. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Maybe because I know you better than you think." He sighs. "You don't have to tell me what it is, but I want you to know that I care about you."

"It's just that everything's been a bit too much lately."

"What do you mean?"

"The constant pressure at work, the media, the fact that I'm not there for you two every day. Everything." He turns to me. "I just don't know how much I can take anymore."

"Lewis..."

"I miss you, and I miss us, I miss Harley and this feeling that I'm good at what I do has been haunting me."

"But you are good."

"Apparently not so much because I can't even stand on the podium." I sighed. "I don't expect you to understand but I don't think I want to do this anymore."

"What do you want to do then?" He looks at me. "You know that Harley and I don't care if you're a driver or not, we care about you too much to worry about whether you're still in Formula 1 or not."

"It's just that I've lived this for so long that I just wish I could be with you every day without worrying about having to catch a flight to the other side of the world."

"I understand and I'll support you in whatever you decide.

"Thank you." I sat down on the sofa and nudged him to sit next to me, which he did, resting his head on my shoulder. "You know I love you, don't you?"

"I know, I love you too."

"But I love you in a way that..."

"I know, and I love you the same way." He looks at me. "I understood what you meant from the start."

"And what does that mean for us?"

"I don't know but we don't need to find out today, we have plenty of time." He smiles and we lie down on the sofa.

Bonus scene!

Yourusername instagram post

Liked by @lewishamilton, @susiewolf, @cherlesleclerc and others 293629

@yourusername I still can believe my baby is turning 3 years old today.

I’m so happy that I’m your mama and that I’m able to watch you grow and turn into this beautiful little girl.

I can’t imagine my life without you and I’m grateful for having you in my life.

Thank you @lewishamilton for making me a mama and for giving me the best gift anyone could ever give me.

Happy birthday sweet girl, mama loves you so much 🩵.

Comments have been disabled

Guys I have so many ideias for another chapters of Lewis being Harleys dad so if you guys want to read the next chapters let me know so I’ll tag you guys.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Red-teaming the SCOTUS code of conduct

Tomorrow (November 18) at 1PM, I'll be in Concord, NH at Gibson's Books, presenting my new novel The Lost Cause, a preapocalyptic tale of hope in the climate emergency.

On Monday (November 20), I'm at the Simsbury, CT Public Library at 7PM

Last April, Propublica's Joshua Kaplan, Justin Elliott and Alex Mierjeski dropped a bombshell: Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas had been showered in high-ticket "gifts" by billionaire ideologue Harlan Crow, who subsequently benefited from Thomas's rulings in the court:

https://www.propublica.org/article/clarence-thomas-scotus-undisclosed-luxury-travel-gifts-crow

This was just the beginning: in the coming days and weeks, more and more of Thomas's corruption came to light, everything from the fact that his mother's home had been bought by Crow, to the fact that Thomas's adoptive son went to a fancy private school on Crow's dime:

https://www.propublica.org/article/clarence-thomas-harlan-crow-private-school-tuition-scotus

The news was explosive and not merely because of the corruption it revealed in the country's highest court. The credibility of the court itself was at its lowest ebb in living memory, thanks to the two judges who occupied stolen seats – Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett. One of those judges – Kavanaugh – is a credibly accused rapist. Thomas is also a credibly accused sexual abuser:

https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2021/10/01/30-years-after-her-testimony-anita-hill-still-wants-something-from-joe-biden-514884

Then, this illegitimate court went on to deliver a string of upsets to long-settled law, culminating in the Dobbs decision, which triggered state laws that force small children to bear their rapists' babies:

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/09/health/abortion-bans-rape-incest.html

That was the context for the Thomas bribery scandal, which was swiftly joined by another bribery scandal, involving Samuel Alito's improper acceptance of valuable gifts from Paul Singer, another billionaire who brought business before the court:

https://www.propublica.org/article/samuel-alito-luxury-fishing-trip-paul-singer-scotus-supreme-court

This string of scandals and outrages naturally prompted public curiosity about the Supreme Court's ethical standards, and that triggered fresh waves of incredulous outrage when we all found out that the Supreme Court doesn't have any:

https://www.poynter.org/fact-checking/2023/why-doesnt-the-supreme-court-have-a-formal-code-of-ethics/

When Congress made tentative noises about providing minor checks and balances on the court, the justices erupted in outrage, telling Congress to go fuck itself:

https://int.nyt.com/data/documenttools/supreme-court-ethics-durbin/cf67ef8450ea024d/full.pdf

Chief Justice Roberts went on whatever the opposite of a charm-offensive is called (an "offense offensive?"), a media tour whose key message to the American people was "STFU, you're hurting our feelings":

https://news.bloomberglaw.com/us-law-week/roberts-defends-high-court-against-attacks-on-its-legitimacy

To the shock of no one except billionaires and Supreme Court justices inhabiting the splendid isolation from societal norms that is the privilege of life tenure, America didn't like this. The Supreme Court's credibility plummeted. A large supermajority of Americans – 79%! – now support age limits for Supreme Court justices:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/18/the-people-no/#tell-ya-what-i-want-what-i-really-really-want

Support for packing the Supreme Court is at an historic high and gaining ground, now sitting neck-and-neck with opposition at 46% in favor/51% opposed. Among under-30s, there's a healthy majority (58%) in favor of appointing more SCOTUS justices.

As Roberts' wounded bleats reveal, SCOTUS is very sensitive to its plummeting legitimacy. After all, the court doesn't have an army, nor does it have a police force. Supreme Court rulings only matter to the extent that the American people accept them as legitimate and obey them. Transformational presidents like Lincoln and FDR have waged successful wars against the Supreme Court, sidelining its authority and turning it into an unimportant rump institution for years afterward:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/26/mint-the-coin-etc-etc/#blitz-em

Now the Supremes are working their way through the (mythological but convenient) five stages of grief. Having passed through Denial and Anger, they've arrived at Bargaining, with the publication of the court's first "code" "of" "conduct":

https://www.supremecourt.gov/about/Code-of-Conduct-for-Justices_November_13_2023.pdf

It's…not good. As Max Moran writes for The American Prospect and The Revolving Door Project, the proposed code amounts to "security theater," a set of trivially bypassed strictures that would not have prevented any of the scandals to date and will permit far worse in the years to come:

https://prospect.org/justice/2023-11-17-supreme-court-objectivity-theater/

The security framing is a very useful tool for evaluating the Supremes' proposal. The purpose of a code of conduct isn't merely to prevent people from accidentally misstepping – it's to prevent malicious parties from corrupting the judicial process. To evaluate the code, we should red team it: imagine what harms a corrupt judge or a corrupting billionaire would be able to effect while staying within the bounds the code sets.

Seen in that light, the code is wildly defective and absolutely not fit for purpose. Its most glaring defect is found in the nature of its edicts – they are almost all optional. The word "should" appears 53 times in the document, while "must" appears just six times:

https://ballsandstrikes.org/ethics-accountability/supreme-court-code-of-conduct-hilariously-fake/

Of those six "musts," two are not pertinent to ethical questions (they pertain to the requirement for a justice to get prior approval before getting paid for teaching gigs).

When the code of conduct was rolled out, the court and its apologists pointed out that it was modeled on the ethical guidelines that bind lower courts. In the wake of the Thomas revelations, these guidelines were a useful benchmark to measure Thomas's conduct against. The fact that other federal judges would have been severely sanctioned or even fired if they had engaged in the same conduct as Thomas was a powerful argument that Thomas had overstepped the bounds of ethical conduct.

But as Bloomberg Law discovered when they compared the lower courts' codes to the Supremes' draft, the Supremes have gone through those lower court codes and systematically cut nearly every mention of "enforce" from their own draft. They also cut the requirement to "take appropriate action" if a violation is reported.

If you are a bad judge or a bad donor, all of this is good news. Nearly everything that it condemns is merely optional, which means that if a judge can be convinced to ignore a rule, they won't have violated the code. What's more, even widespread rulebreaking doesn't trigger an investigation. That's a very weak security measure indeed.

But it gets worse. The Supremes' code also omit key definitions found in the codes that bind the lower courts. The most important definition to be cut is for "political organization," which the lower courts define expansively as both parties and "entit[ies] whose principal purpose is to advocate for or against political candidates or parties." That definition captures "nonprofits, think tanks, lobbying firms, trade associations, grassroots groups" – the whole panoply of organizations whom federal judges must maintain an arm's length distance from in order to preserve their objectivity. Federal judges may not lead, speak at or donate to these organizations.

By omitting this definition, the Supremes open the door to involvement with precisely the kinds of PACs, thinktanks and other influence organizations funded by the billionaires who have benefited so handsomely from the judges' rulings.

What's more, the Supremes carve out an explicit exemption for speaking to "nonprofits, think tanks, lobbying firms, trade associations, grassroots groups," and to serving as a director, trustee or officer of "a nonprofit organization devoted to the law, the legal system, or the administration of justice and may assist such an organization in the management and investment of funds."

As Moran points out, this exemption would cover – among other institutions – the far-right Federalist Society, which satisfies all those criteria. That means a Supreme Court justice could sit on the board and raise funds for the FedSoc without raising any issues with this code – not even one of those squishy "shoulds." Nothing in this code would stop Clarence Thomas or Thomas Alito from accepting lavish gifts, private jet rides, or luxury tour buses from billionaires with business before the court:

https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/justice-thomas-267000-loan-rv-forgiven-senate-democrats-104303972

As Moran writes, these definitional vacuums are a well-understood class of weaknesses in ethics codes. Congress gets a lot of mileage out of this ruse – for example, by narrowly defining "lobbying" to exclude things that most people understand that term to mean, Congress engage in improperly close relations with lobbyists while still maintaining that they hardly ever talk to a lobbyist at all:

https://www.politico.eu/article/jeff-hauser-opinion-watergate-european-union-qatargate/

The same ruse goes for campaign contributions – if you want to accept a lot of campaign contributions that would fall afoul of ethics rules, just narrow the definition of "campaign contribution" until all the money you're receiving no longer qualifies.

Moran closes by calling on Congress to formulate a real, meaningful code of conduct for the Supremes, one that orders Supreme Court judges not to accept corrupting gifts and to maintain the arm's length neutrality that the rest of the federal judiciary is required to keep. Rather than this new code of conduct constituting proof that SCOTUS can be its own oversight, its gross deficiencies should put to rest any question about whether the Supremes can be trusted to regulate themselves.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/17/red-team-black-robes/#security-theater

Image: Senate Democrats (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:United_States_Supreme_Court_Building,_July_21,_2020.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

[perryavenue]

rainjoy Has A New Post. It's Personal

rainjoy is one of my favorite Klaine fanfic authors. Their first Klaine fanfic was published on LiveJournal in 2011, their last in 2021. Health issues have become more intense over time. Their most famous works, All The Other Ghosts and Grey, were published in 2012 and 2013. So those who've joined the fandom fairly recently may not even know about their other fics, the most recent one being from 2021. rainjoy has written Klaine in every genre: high school!Klaine, college!Klaine, married!Klaine, supernatural!Klaine, fantasy!Klaine, and even superhero!Klaine.

Here is a link to rainjoy's works on Live Journal

Here's a link for Dreamwidth

I hope that you'll help boost it by re-blogging. Thanks in advance, @klaineccfanficlibrary and @todaydreambelieversfic

This is rainjoy's post from today (October 27, 2023).

"Hello, I’m still alive.

Hello, I do mean it, hello anybody around to see this, I really hope you’ve been well, I’m sorry I haven’t been around, I *haven’t* been well. But I have, over a course of fucking months, actually written something, so I’m writing *this* here so I don’t need to leave a novel-length author’s note on it, as some kind of explanation of where I’ve been.

Largely, I’ve been in bed, I’m likely going there again after posting this, they need to invent new words for how tired I am so much of the time, my upgraded wheelchair is worth about as much as my *laptop*, my life revolves around Can I? Probably not. and lots and lots and lots of ‘resting’. I’ve not been well, but please don’t worry, I’ve not been unhappy. This is the golden age of being ill, the sheer quantity of stuff out there to amuse the bedbound – I have books and podcasts, all of Netflix, I practically live on Sky: Children of the Light, when I’m too dopey even for that I have Animal Crossing, when I am genuinely such a puddle of not-human lethargy that all I need is for time to pass until I feel just slightly better again I have videos of other people playing video games on YouTube and I’m sorry my darling baby moths I will pick you up and help you every single time but it will never not be funny watching someone go through Eden for the first time on YouTube, it just never will not make me laugh, oh my gods I’m so *sorry* my loves <3

So anyway, there’s all that, that’s where I’ve been, life really does not work out the way you planned it to, huh? Because outside of my bed, I know I have messages and emails and someone got a tattoo?? You got a tattoo and I’m just really sorry I haven’t been in touch, my energy has to be paid out like a miser, if I want to wash my hair then wow the world is really not getting anything else out of me, you know? But I am still here, and I do still love the things I love. I still think all of it is worth it. I think the world is a *lot* of fun, though I bear in mind that still, and always, we live through very frightening and distressing times. Which actually makes me think we need to cling to the things we love *more*, not less, love makes better people of us, when we let it.

So I did watch the new season of Good Omens when it came out, and safe to say I was not impressed, but it did jog in me the memory that didn’t I write a sequel to it? Yes I did, and it involved *all* that blood. But I reread it – it’s like reading a stranger’s writing after so long – and that jogged the memory: Didn’t you start a sequel to *this*?

Yes I did! Two thirds written, actually, hurrah for my past self. The last third took, I don’t know, when did the new season come out, it took that long. I used to sneeze out this sort of thing. This, now, is getting at my arms, it’ll be another lie down soon. But anyway, the point of all this: I live yet. In the next few days I *hope* I will be formatting and posting a sequel to But Thou Readst Black because of course everyone wants *that* back in their heads again, my gods. And I hope hope hope you’ve been well, I do think of people while I’m stuck doing nothing but pooling my brain out of my ears on YouTube. Look after yourselves, take care of each other, my gods you tattooed yourself I mean more power to you but it alarms me when things I make turn out to be *permanent*, you know? It feels like I barely touch the world anymore, my circumference has become so small, but it makes the world seem only more precious. Take good care of it, and of yourself as part of it. And very, very much love, to anyone remaining to see this, much love <3"

[kafus]

ok i've decided i want to infodump about vee and nova a little after all! because uhh not only am i impatient because autism but i also. want to dip my toes into talking about this. just days ago i was still terrified but now i am Tentatively Brave... if i can talk about it here casually like this then i should be able to write a more formal summary later some other time

i've tagged this post appropriately (at least i think i have, feel free to suggest if i should add more) but also a heads up here too before i keep talking that while i'm not going into graphic detail on anything there are STRONG themes of organized sexual abuse of a child, sexual abuse of animals, and grooming! (there are no disturbing visuals in this post, just text)

IF YOU CAN'T READ THIS POST THAT'S OKAY I STILL LOVE U

takes a deep breath alright so the deal with these two. back all the way in 2021, i decided i wanted to make "vent ocs" as in i just wanted some concrete/consistent designs i could use in vent art drawings that weren't a direct reflection of what i envision myself to look like or whatever. i was going through a lot in 2021, in december 2020 i had just gotten my first big repressed memory back and my life was in a whirlwind of change and heavily increased PTSD and DID symptoms, so i was using art a lot as an outlet. in the end i settled on this drawing, based on the design taste i would have had as a young person (god the quality is so old now LOL i've improved a lot but anyway)

i was intending for these two to be just visual designs and nothing more than that but i got attached and actually ended up giving them a whole storyline and everything, which is something i admittedly hadn't done in a long time up to that point so that's cool.

the reason i preface explaining the premise of the storyline with this is because i think it's important to acknowledge that these two are intrinsically tied with my real life and the feelings i experience as a CSA/OA survivor. not because i think someone has to go through awful things to write or draw about them necessarily, but because i am passionate about expressing myself. it's important for me to be seen in some way, to be heard after years of silence. it is not safe for me mentally to share the exact details of my abuse online rn (and please don't ask for them!) but i also don't want these two to be removed from the message that i survived something and this is me making art about that in an abstracted and magical way with a fictional universe that brings me a lot of comfort. i hope this makes sense lol

oh and also with that in mind if you think for even a second any of this is a weird sex thing for me or some shit please stop reading this post and go do something else with your time. this is my trauma expression and i don't need to be compared to the people i was abused by when i was a literal toddler thank you!

AANYWAY so! premise! gonna be point blank with it! vee (not her original name but shh) is born as a normal 100% human girl, aka without the eevee ears and tail. she is groomed from a very young age (like, toddler age) and eventually abducted by her groomers which happen to be members of... well right now it's team rocket because i haven't spent the time to worldbuild a new villainous pokemon organization yet. roll with me here. she is taken to a remote facility out in the middle of fucking nowhere and is never returned to her previous life or family.

Why? well i'm glad you asked! the org is running a bunch of different experiments in this facility and one of them happens to be trying to enable humans reproducing with pokemon. this doubles as both a money thing and a power thing. they seek out a child as the victim of these horrible experiments because children are easily malleable. way easier to control a child than an adult who already has a firm identity/self.

vee is the child they chose. surgery is forcibly done on her to give her working eevee ears and tail, and also like, fuck with her body chemistry and stuff. she's biologically part eevee now. yes this is bullshit pokemon magic science LMAO but she is kept in this facility and chronically sexually abused for a few years by pairing her with various mons and trying to get eggs to happen.

the experiment isn't working though so they hypothesize that giving her a dedicated partner, especially of the same evolutionary line, would help, and they raise nova from birth as an eevee to take on that role. eventually the two of them are paired together. despite the acts they are forced to commit on each other and the abuse they endure, they actually become inseparable very quickly cause like. they don't have anyone else. and also they just genuinely care about each other. additionally at this point nova has evolved into an espeon and has telepathic powers, so him and vee can communicate linguistically with each other, so you know that helps

generally my current focus of this story is in the early years, when vee is 12 and younger, before they start realizing that shit is fucked up and they need to escape (up until that hypothetical point they have been successfully groomed into believing everything happening to them was not abuse/was normal). i have left out a metric fuckton of detail here just to get across the basic premise. i am constantly exploring vee's psyche, nova's psyche, it's like an in depth exploration of the mind of an abused child in horrific circumstances and god it's cathartic. i love these two so fucking much

btw i guess this art has more context now huh haha after i infodumped off the plot to my sister they looked at this art again and was like. OHHH THIS IS EVEN MORE OMINOUS AND HARD TO LOOK AT WITH CONTEXT. AND I WAS LIKE YEAH!!!! YOU SEE THE VISION!!! THE SYMBOLISM!! ETC!!!!

uh yeah if you read this far thank you and i just wanna say i've been building up the courage to talk about these two for GENUINELY two years, it has been over 2 full years since that initial drawing, and i am nervous and jittery posting this but i do not want to die without having shared my work with the world and i'm willing to take the risks to get my voice out there. so you reading it is very much appreciated ur like my first step into being more confident as a survivor lol

oh and fwiw despite these guys being so correlated with my trauma it's not offensive to make headcanons or ask me questions about them or compliment darker art of them however you want, in fact i love that shit!! please i've been holding these guys back for two years i have so much to say that hasn't been said. as much as i am nervous i am EXCITED

[stephensmithuk]

The Red Circle

Published in 1911 as a two-parter, this is the penultimate story we'll be covering His Last Bow, leaving just the titular story there.

This does sound rather like "The Veiled Lodger", doesn't it?

These days, you'd have to check the immigration status of your tenants. In 1902, really not an issue. Although anti-immigrant sentiment was definitely there and growing.

Those strange coded personal messages - some even encrypted - very much existed in newspapers back then. Once radio had become a thing, the British would use them on radio broadcasts to Occupied Europe in the Second World to get messages to the resistance movements. Including the "get ready" and "go" codes for the mass sabotage operations that preceded Operation Overlord in 1944.

"Timekeepers" were used for recording arrivals and departures at a site, including that of staff for the purposes of paying wages, determining lateness etc.

Great Orme Street is more properly called Great Ormond Street, located in Bloomsbury. It is best known for the world-famous children's hospital called Great Ormond Street Hospital. They have a permanent UK copyright to Peter Pan which gives them a right to royalties for publications, adaptations, performances etc. The US copyright on the original version expires next year. If anyone wants to do a LfW retelling of the original book, it would be nice to contact them and arrange a donation. They're a very good organisation.

"Art for Art’s sake" was a French slogan from the latter half of the 19th century. You may know its Latin version - ars gratia artis - as the motto of film studio MGM.

The light flashing message gets a whole chapter covering it in Klinger's annotated version, as it's been heavily discussed by scholars. Basically, it would take multiple minutes to send that message.

The Pinkerton detective agency did a lot of investigative work in its early days, both criminal investigation and more nefarious stuff to aid strike-breaking. The latter got the US government banned from hiring them as such in the 1893 Anti-Pinkerton Act. They are still involved in anti-union stuff today.

Much of Notting Hill had become increasingly slum-like by this time as an influx of people led to houses built for one family being split to hold far more; the idea when the area was built was for the middle classes to live there, but they didn't buy the properties. It later attract large numbers of Afro-Caribbean immigrants in the post-war era, partly as the notorious slum landlord Peter Rachman was prepared to rent to them while others weren't. This growing ethnic tension culiminated race riots in 1958, with white "Teddy Boys" attacking West Indian homes. Since then, the slums have been cleared and the area has gentrified quite a bit.

It is also home to the annual Notting Hall carnival every August since 1965 (bar 2020 and 2021), which around 2 million people attend. The Metropolitan Police have moved from active hostility to active cooperation in its running and there will be photos of officers dancing with those in the parade at any given carnival. The reputation for violence is unjustified and arguably fuelled by racism - while there were frequently arrests for violence, drugs and weapons offences, on a pro-rata basis, the arrest rate is about the same as the Glastonbury Festival.

The Carbonari ("charcoal makers") were secret revolutionary societies active in what would become Italy in the early 19th century. After failed uprisings in 1831, the various Italian governments cracked down hard on them and they were effectively eliminated. They were not really engaged in protection rackets.

Dynamite was patented by Alfred Nobel in 1867. Being a good deal more stable than nitrogyclerine - although storage is important as old dynamite is a good deal less stable - it became popular for terrorists and criminals, with a series of bombings by Irish republicans between 1881 and 1885 leading to the formation of Special Branch.

Covent Garden is home to the Royal Opera House.

[ravixen]

seungcheol ; make or break

➔ synopsis: You barely remember the last time you celebrated Valentine’s Day with someone other than your moms. In fact, if it wasn’t for your students’ excited countdown, you’re sure that you would’ve ignored the romantic atmosphere just like every other year. But as they like to remind you, you can’t forget this time—you have someone to celebrate with, after all. (kindergarten teacher!au).

➔ warnings: a passed relative, cemetery mention || genre(s): fluff, romance, slice of life ➔ 3574 words || scenario || kindergartenteacher!au

➔ notes: i always have strong starts and then lose steam by the middle, and it's so obvious 😭 regardless, i hope you like this one. highly suggest reading kindergarten teacher!seungcheol part 1 and part 2 (2021) first. side note, i use kindercare for this au because it's a mash-up between kindergarten and daycare. i guess nursery school!au would be a better name because apparently kindercare is an american company. this is dedicated to that anon who talked about seungcheol meeting y/n's parents like two years ago, though i can't find the reply anymore.

There’s a palpable excitement in the room as you unstick the velcro name tags and shift everyone forward one space. The Monday morning ritual is arguably their favorite part of class, perhaps second only to recess, and you’re sure it must’ve been yours, too, at some point in your childhood. Once the last name is smoothed into place, you turn to the class.

“Alright, so Haeni is this week’s line leader, Jumin is our caboose, Hongseok is our supply manager…” You rattle off the names of the light inspector, messenger, door holder, trash collector, and librarian as quickly as you can. You learned long ago that if you stop and wait for them to cheer for every person, this five-minute routine would quickly eat up ten minutes of morning meeting time. Time you don’t have, unless you want to cut into nap time and it’s an unspoken rule to never cut into nap time. “And lastly, our reader of the day!”

“Me! It’s me!” Juhyun screeches, launching out of her seat to grab the pointing stick.

It’s the only time your Walking feet rule is allowed to be forgotten, but once she gets to the front, she shifts her stance, suddenly shy under the class’s attention. You lead her through the morning message, board full of sight words that she stumbles over, and then you pull out the calendar poster. February, it reads across the top, printed with hearts and Cupids in case anyone forgot which commercial holiday rules over the month.

“Today is…Monday, February 13,” Juhyun recites nervously, tapping each part with the stick. “Yesterday was Sunday, February 12. Tomorrow is Wednesday—”

“No, tomorrow is Tuesday!” Someone from the back row pipes up and gasps as if surprised at himself for yelling out.

“I was going to say that! Tomorrow is Tuesday, February 14. And it’s our Valentine’s Day party!”

You laugh as the children cheer. “Yes, yes,” you say, a finger to your lips until they settle down. You take back the stick and outline a giant circle around the number 14. “So you all keep reminding me. If you forget what to bring tomorrow, take a look at the sign-up sheet before you leave today.”

An arm pops up from another corner of the room. “Teacher Y/N, I have a question!” She waves, just barely sitting on the ground.

“Yes, Haeni, I see your quiet hand. What’s your question?”

“Are you and Teacher Seungcheol going on a date tomorrow?”

The class oohs and squeals at Haeni’s brave question, hiding giggles behind their hands, and you bite back an affectionate smile. They’ve always been invested in your love life, but ever since that joint birthday party, the twins have crowned themselves the catalyst that got their beloved teachers together and take every opportunity to remind their friends.

“We haven’t talked about it yet,” you admit. “If we need any brilliant ideas, I’ll ask all of you, but enough cupid talk for now—our new librarian needs to come up and choose a book for today’s reading.”

. . .

Seungcheol’s rug is comfier than yours, you realize as you stare at his ceiling. He has more beanbag chairs, too. You stretch out a foot and tap one of them. No wonder Haeni always stares enviously whenever her sister walks into this classroom.

A shadow blocks the overhead fluorescent light, and you squint to see his face. “You know there’s dirt and germs all over the ground,” he says, amused. “I vacuumed right before you came, but it’s still gross.”

“S’ok, it’ll build up my immune system. I get sick more often than the students, and half of them eat snacks on the playground with dirt on their fingers. Maybe they’re onto something.”

He laughs, walking past you to pin his students’ drawings on the wall. He’s using the succulent- and flower-themed thumbtacks you got him the other day. The best dollar store find yet. You’re waiting to see if they’ll release other designs. “Should I get you a dirt pudding cup with actual dirt tomorrow, then?”

And there’s the topic of the day. You roll onto your stomach, propping your chin on steepled hands as you watch his side profile. He’s wearing glasses again today, thin frames balanced low on his nose. They’re one of your favorite pairs, and you remind him of it every time. Maybe that’s why you see it so often.

“What are we doing tomorrow?” Somehow the words Valentine’s Day feel foreign in your mouth, so you swallow them back. “I would’ve forgotten to ask you if Haeni didn’t mention it today.”

“So did Haemin. Must’ve been a coordinated effort.” He pauses, putting up a few more drawings before responding, voice soft, “We don’t have to do anything special if that’s not your style. It’s only been a month, after all; I don’t want to pressure you into anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

He looks over and sends you a smile that’s equal parts sincere and nervous, waiting for your reaction. When you smile back, he returns to his work.

“It’s not like it’s not my style.”

“M-hm?”

“It’s just been a long time since I actually celebrated Valentine’s Day with a date. I usually just get dinner with my mom.”

���Oh, if that’s your tradition, then don’t worry about it. We can hang out another time, and you don’t have to get me anything. I’d still like to bring you a present, though. Is that okay?”

You trace the dotted lines on his street-themed rug, your finger running between a few trucks and cars. Like he said, it’s only been a month since the twins’ birthday—and when he asked you out after school—but something about Seungcheol makes you feel like he’d treat your heart like glass. It’s in the way he hands you a warm drink every morning as you wait for morning recess to end. The way he taps your shoulder in the hallway to flip the tag back into your top, leaving with a brief squeeze of your hand. The way he rearranges your classroom after you had a long day of sick kids and cranky attitudes, quietly and without complaint. The way he looks at you now, again, waiting for your confirmation like your opinion matters to him more than anything else.

And maybe it does.

“Actually, are you free tomorrow evening?” you blurt out.

“I think so, why?”

“Do you…actually want to come spend time with me and my mom? I want to celebrate with you, but I can’t bail on her. You don’t have to say yes; I just thought it’d be a nice opportunity to introduce you and all.”

He tries to tamper down his response, but you’re struck by how child-like he is. Like your students this morning, his excitement thrums beneath his skin, and he bounces on the balls of his feet as he nods a touch too enthusiastically. His I’d love to is a breath of air that rushes into and fills your lungs.

You push to your feet and grab your keys. “I’ll go warm up the car. You can lock up and come out when you’re ready.”

. . .

Before Seungcheol, it was you and your mom against the world—or so you liked to say, huddled up next to each other as you waited for the car to fight the February chill and heat up. For the last few years, the tradition has shifted. What started as a visit to the cemetery became a visit and lunch between your classes. Then a visit and dinner once you found a job. Then a visit and spending all day together once you lost that job. This year, with the nursery school position taking up your mornings and early afternoons, you and your mom settled back into a visit and dinner. With a new guest, it seems.

“Are you sure he’s alright with that? He could be saying it to just be nice. Why don’t you two kids spend time together, hm? I can go on my own.” Her voice crackles over your car’s speakers.

“No,” you say, elbowing the just-entered Seungcheol to be quiet. He grins at you with clasped hands, a silent apology. You’re tempted to make him wait outside until you’re done with the conversation. “He’d like to be there, and I want him there, too, to be honest. Do you mind?”

"Of course I don't! The more, the merrier. I was going to call up our favorite place tonight to make reservations, but we can just get take-out and have a nice dinner at home. I can finally show off my new dinner plates to someone." There's a sudden shuffling on her end. "Oh God, wait, why did you tell me now? I don't know if I have anything nice to wear! Okay, bye, I have to go looking. Love you, see you tomorrow."

You laugh. "Okay, mom, bye."

The car beeps once she hangs up, and Seungcheol finally releases the satisfied hum that he's been holding in his chest.

"You two sound close."

"We are."

"How long have you been spending Valentine's together?"

"Buckle up, passenger princess. Then I'll answer your questions."

He does as told while you pull out of the parking space and lot. The school is in a nice neighborhood, but it seems like the trade-off is having curved streets that make you feel like a rat in a maze.

"We've been doing this for as early as I can remember. Some years, Mom and Mama went for dinner alone, and I had a babysitter for a few hours, but for Mama, Valentine's Day wasn't that special. She loved my mom every day of the year, so eventually they started taking me out to dinner with them. It's a day of love, after all, and they loved me a lot."

Once you turn onto the main road, Seungcheol lays his hand palm-up on his knee and you reach across the console to thread your fingers with his. It's just a straight path from here to the exit you both take, and you settle into your seat, glad that school ends just before the afternoon traffic gets bad.

"And then Mama passed away while I was in high school. She was on her way to order some flowers for Valentine's Day—she liked to get her order in early to avoid the last minute rush." You laugh. "You can see who I take after. We didn't celebrate that year, obviously. It was way too soon. We picked it up again the year after, though, just me and Mom. We'd visit Mama and then spend time together."

He squeezes your fingers, and you squeeze back.

"Are you sure you're comfortable with me coming?"

"Yes, of course. That's why I asked."

You glance over at him. The glasses are away now, now longer blocking the long lashes that brush against his cheeks with every blink. His lips are set in a slight frown, his brows bunched in thought. Your boyfriend—the word still feels new to you—is unfairly handsome in his blue jeans and cable-knit sweater.

You take your hand back to change lanes. "Penny for your thoughts?"

He looks at you, and the lines fade away. His soft expression is even softer in the afternoon sun.

"Nothing much. I'm just thinking about what to bring for your mom tomorrow. Does she like certain flowers? Have a chocolate preference? Should I bring a dessert to share after dinner? I can steal Mingyu’s secret cookie recipe." He takes a deep breath, wiping his palms on his lap. "I mean, for you, I'll just scoop some dirt from the yard before coming to work—”

You snort, shoving his shoulder. "Shut up, I'll toss it right back out the window."

"—but for your moms, I want to make a good impression, y'know? Should I wear a suit? Would your mama be impressed?"

You press your lips together to avoid looking like a lovestruck fool on the highway. Some of your friends had wanted to test him, make sure that he's good enough for you, but as soon as you'd introduced him to the group, their eyes snapped to you. I've never seen someone more head over heels, they complained after your hang out. God, when is it my turn? But really, if they'd looked a little closer at your expression that evening, they would've caught you looking back at Seungcheol, just as enamored.

"I'm sure they'll appreciate the effort," you say. “Regardless of what you do. The fact that you’re coming at all means a lot.”

By the time you pull into his driveway and wave to Mingyu taking out the trash, he's already memorized basic facts about your mom and promised to not screw up tomorrow.

"You'll be fine," you assure Seungcheol as he comes around to your side of the car.

He leans through the open window to press a kiss to your cheek. "I hope so. Don't want to scare them so early in our relationship. I’ll see you in the morning?”

As he disappears into the door Mingyu left unlocked, you hope he doesn't feel like a nervous wreck.

. . .

Seungcheol feels like a nervous wreck.

He knows that he's bothering Joshua, who's only trying to make tonight's dinner, but in his defense, he's sitting on the kitchen counter and fairly out of the way, so he's not that much of a distraction—other than the part where he’s having a dramatic meltdown.

"You're blowing this way out of proportion," Joshua says, sleeves rolled up to his elbows to pat the chicken dry. One pot chicken stew again. It’s his third time making it since finding the easy recipe, but it’s good, so Seungcheol can’t complain. "It's not a big deal."

"It's not a big deal? Josh, I'm literally spending Valentine's Day with them and their mom. Their moms, really. They trust me enough to meet their mama, too. Isn't this huge?"

"Okay, yeah, it is pretty huge," Joshua admits with a shrug. "I was trying to convince you that it wasn't so you'd calm down, but you're literally meeting their family a month in. Congrats, man."

"Thanks, but I need more than congrats." Seungcheol leans to the side as Joshua reaches around him for a knife. "I need…I don't know, a vision. A step-by-step, fool-proof plan to make sure I don't make myself look like an idiot at their mom's dining table. Or anywhere in the house, really. I need a miracle. What if they decide to break up with me?"

He groans into his hands. Joshua continues cutting carrots into uniform slices. Does he not sense the distress?

"They're not going to break up with you."

"You don't know that.”

"I'm going to kick you out of the kitchen and make you talk to Soonyoung."

"He's going to get nervous for me and make it worse," Seungcheol whines, and Joshua rolls his eyes. "I made the mistake of talking to him last time I was about to meet my partner's family."

"You also made the mistake of bringing him as a plus one to their get together," Joshua points out.

"In my defense, he enlisted Jeonghan to convince me, and Jeonghan's really good at talking."

Joshua tsks. "And watching the world burn while he stands next to a gas can and lighter. You should know that by now." He finally puts the knife down and turns to Seungcheol with his arms crossed. "Okay, fine. What's the schedule tomorrow?"

"Right after school ends, we're going to hit the road and take a break halfway. It's like an hour-long drive to the cemetery? Not bad, so we’ll pick up some flowers on the way. I'm meeting their mom and mama there, and then we're going to their mom's house for dinner."

“Not even a buffer activity, huh? What about bringing a board game or cards?”

“That’s a good idea. Y/N said they used to watch movies together, so we might do that, too.”

Wait.

“We have a day off on Wednesday. You don’t think we’ll stay the night, right?” Because one evening he can deal with—he can look put together for a few hours—but his morning self? His bedhead alone could scare off the weak-hearted. What’s the protocol for that, anyway? Would he share a room with you, or would it be more appropriate to take the couch? Why didn’t he think to ask you all this before?

Joshua claps him on the shoulder. “Focus, man. It’s definitely possible, so I’d say prepare a bag and keep it in your car just in case. You’re over-thinking it right now, but based on how you described the phone call, their mom is probably nervous, too. She was looking for a good outfit, right?”

Seungcheol takes a deep breath. That’s true, your mom seemed just as frantic to impress, though her panic was cut short by the phone call.

“And in the midst of this, I bet Y/N’s even more nervous than both of you combined. If this meeting goes to flames, they’ll have to clean up the aftermath on both sides. They wouldn’t have taken the risk if they didn’t think it was worth it, so trust them and help them make it work.”

That’s true, too. His friends are good at this sort of thing, and he’s glad that it didn’t take too much arm twisting to get valuable advice.

“Whew. Alright, I think I got this. Thanks, Josh, I should get—”

The hand on his shoulder tightens, pinning him on the counter. Joshua’s smile barely conceals the hint of mischief. “Where are you heading? You have to pay the price and help me now. Get chopping, lover boy.”

. . .

You offered to drive since Seungcheol picked you up and took you to work, but he gently refused. You thought that he was being chivalrous, but he admitted that he was just trying to push down his anxiety by keeping his hands and mind busy.

“I don’t know how far I’ll spiral if given the chance,” he told you as he claimed the driver’s seat, and you did your best to play the role of the chatty passenger. Before you know it, he’s pulling into the cemetery and the nerves set in again.

You lean forward and point at a small navy car with faded stickers that you’d recognize anywhere. “That’s Mom’s. We can park right behind her.”

Parallel parking is the easy part—getting out of the actual car is harder. You manage a tense breath of a laugh at his tight grip on the steering wheel, though seeing your mom in the distance is making your heart constrict, too. Why are you getting nervous all of a sudden?

“You look good,” you insist, pinching his cheek. And he does, even after you managed to talk him out of the full suit. Warm and cozy—your mom gets to see him the way you do. “You’ll be fine. You’re both looking forward to meeting and impressing each other, so if it’s any comfort, she’ll be too busy worrying about her own actions to judge you for anything.”

He turns his head and kisses your hand. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself right now?” he teases, but from his lopsided smile, you know he’s as ready as he’ll ever be.

You grin. “Choi Seungcheol, you’re a charming guy. Be yourself.”

He insists on holding the two bouquets, yet another thing to keep his hands occupied, though they shake in his grip as you get closer. One of them is for your mom. She takes them with a pleased gasp. The other he carefully tucks into the vase beside your mama’s name, and when he straightens, you step to his side.

“Mom, this is Seungcheol, the guy I’m seeing. We work together.”

“Hi, I’m Y/N’s mom,” she says, holding out a hand for him to shake. He takes it in both of his own. “You can just call me mom, though—oh my, unless that’s too forward of me? Is it too soon?”

She glances at you, eyes wide in the same What do I do? panic that you saw on Seungcheol’s features earlier. You laugh. Yeah, things will be just fine.

[coochiequeens]

Denmark - where the museums are progressive enough to erase woman from their names but the royal couple know who can be exploited for a baby.

A statue of a naked, bearded man attempting to breastfeed an infant is drawing disapproval on social media for what some critics are calling female erasure. The nude figure, constructed in 2021 as a self-portrait by Aske Kreilgaard, is depicted with exposed male genitals and breasts to which he is holding a feeding baby.

Despite having been created to commemorate International Men’s Day, the statue has now been placed outside of The Gender Museum (KØN) in Aarhus, Denmark, which was previously known as the Women’s Museum (Kvindemuseet). 

The facility was originally founded in 1982 to educate the public about women’s history, but in 2021 was renamed to reflect a shift in focus towards topics of gender and sexuality.

The Gender Museum justified the decision to change its name by claiming that gender roles had “changed significantly,” and that the emphasis of the museum would be focused to shift towards “freer expression” of all genders.

“A lot has happened in the relationship between the sexes since the Women’s Museum Association saw the light of day. Men’s gender roles and function in society have also changed significantly,” the museum’s website stated.

“The cultural heritage rests in places on old divisions between genders and roles, while the present expects freer expression of all genders. Just as women’s research at universities today is called gender research, the museum has followed the same development in its ongoing depiction and documentation of cultural history.”

The former Women’s Museum first began to incorporate elements of gender ideology into their education programs in 2016 and currently offers sex education for children in primary school “through a culture-historical and norm-critical view of sexuality and gender.”

“The societal norms that [children] experience on their own bodies are set against cultural history through objects from the history of sexual culture. In this way, we show the students that sex, gender roles and understandings of sexuality are rooted in our cultural history, and that ideas about gender, sexuality and sexual practices have changed over time,” reads the description of the course on the museum’s website.

The sculpture’s creator, Kreilgaard, has said in an interview with Fine Spinde that he titled the work Agape, a Greek word meaning “love.”

Just after the statue was erected, sculptor, photographer and writer Suste Bonnén sharply condemned the museum’s decision to commission and feature the piece in an article published by Kristeligt Dagblad titled, “Statue of breastfeeding man is a pedophile’s dream.”

“Isn’t Agape a pedophile’s dream? A grown naked man who enjoys putting a small child up to his nipple for him to suck is to me the epitome of what pedophiles dream of,” Bonnén writes. She further elaborates on how the area is an erogenous zone for both women and men, but highlights that whereas “the mother satisfies the child’s needs,” a man, being incapable of nursing, “only satisfies his own.”

Bonnén went on to describe the statue as flouting exploitation.

“I don’t see that the gender roles are being played with, as many others do. I see an exploitation of the little child, and a man playing with his own gratification. That is why I find it disturbing that both genders and audiences today welcome the message: The grown man can do whatever he wants with a small child, as long as we call it Agape.”

While the statue was erected outside of the museum in November of 2021, photos of it just began circulating in social media this week and prompting backlash. On Facebook, some Danish feminists noted that they had attempted to protest the name change of the museum in 2021, but found their concerns being ignored as museum officials reportedly felt shifting away from “women” and towards “gender inclusivity” was a better financial decision.

The photo of the statue that first prompted discussion on Twitter was posted by Michelle Uriarau of Mana Wāhine Kōrero, a Māori women’s group. Uriarau also referenced the name change at the museum, calling it “the erasure of women.”

Over one thousand people replied to Uriarau’s post, some of whom were expressing disbelief that the statue was even real. Many Twitter users were outraged at the symbolism, and the fact the statue was now housed outside of a former museum dedicated to women.

“The parading and exhibiting of the male sexual fetishist. Only women give birth and only women breastfeed NOT men,” user Elise Willows wrote beneath the photo.

“A nursing baby as the ultimate fetish accessory. Disgusting,” another tweeted.

Others in the replies referenced recent attempts to “neutralize” the language around motherhood and breastfeeding, something that has been shown to have a negative impact on maternal health outcomes. Some also referenced incidents involving trans-identified males attempting to breastfeed babies.

Last year, Reduxx reported on a Reddit post featuring photos of a trans-identified male user breastfeeding his wife’s newborn baby.

The post, titled “Oh my God I’m breastfeeding my daughter,” detailed how the user worked with a lactation consultant and his gender physician for several months prior to his female partner giving birth. Immediately following the baby’s birth, the user said he had begun breastfeeding the child to supplement formula feedings. The user also included a link to a photo gallery showing snapshots of himself “breastfeeding” the baby.

In 2018, an endocrinologist from Boston Medical Center claimed that breast feeding was an important method of validating a trans-identified male’s gender identity.  

In an interview with The New Scientist, Dr. Joshua Safer said: “Many transgender women are looking to have as many of the experiences of non-transgender women as they can, so I can see this will be extremely popular.”

Reports of trans-identified males seeking support from lactation consultants have increased. On social media, many new and breastfeeding mothers have also stated they’ve noticed an increase in men attending breastfeeding groups.

According to the Danish Agency for Culture and Palaces, of about 2,500 monuments nationwide, only 28 commemorate women. The nation’s lack of female-focused memorials was the subject of a 2022 sculpture project that highlighted the lack of visibility of women in public art.

Reduxx contacted the Gender Museum for comment, but did not received a response at the time of publication.

By Genevieve Gluck

Genevieve is the Co-Founder of Reduxx, and the outlet's Chief Investigative Journalist with a focused interest in pornography, sexual predators, and fetish subcultures. She is the creator of the podcast Women's Voices, which features news commentary and interviews regarding women's rights.

Prince Gustav of Sayn-Wittgenstein-Berleburg and his wife, Princess Carina, are expecting a baby. However, the princess lacks the usual baby bump. Instead, another woman is carrying her child.

Both the prince, who is a nephew of the Danish queen Margarethe and his wife are 54 years old. They had to wait almost 20 years before they could get married due to an inheritance rule from Gustav's grandfather Prince Gustav Albrecht, who was a Nazi, Daily Mail writes. Now, they are becoming parents in their fifties with the help of a surrogate mother.

Royal fans have already claimed that the baby is a boy and is due to be born in May. Official sources have not confirmed the announcement yet. According to a press release from Berleburg Castle, the residence of the royal couple in Germany, the baby is due in the summer. The prince and princess state their thanks in the same press release "to everyone who has helped to find a legal path to follow."

According to Kristeligt Dagblad, the baby will be the first royal child born via surrogacy. It is unknown whether the couple has paid the surrogate mother for her service (commercial surrogacy) or whether they found someone who offered to carry the baby altruistically, the Danish newspaper reports.

Debate

The royal surrogacy baby may renew the discussion about surrogacy in Denmark. Currently, it is legal to have a child via a surrogate mother, but there are quite a few requirements that have to be fulfilled. It is, for example, illegal to get help with insemination, and third parties may not communicate with the surrogate mother.

Leif Vestergaard Pedersen, chairman of the Danish Ethics Council, finds the rules too restrictive. Last January, the council proposed to make surrogacy a standard fertility treatment, Kristeligt Dagblad reports. At the same time, Vestergaard Pedersen warns against commercial surrogacy "because it can in many ways be equated with trade in children."

Age limit

Another concern about the royal baby is the age of its parents. Being 54 years old is a relatively high age for first-time parents, Kristeligt Dagblad states. However, Vestergaard Pedersen thinks this is not something the Ethical Council is concerned with. "There is an age limit in fertility treatment, probably primarily for the sake of the woman giving birth. Regarding more general considerations, parents' age is a consideration. Still, it is not something we have discussed or have immediate plans for", he says.

Fertility doctor Malene Tanderup Sørensen points out that there is no biological age barrier regarding surrogate parenthood. "However, the fact that they are older is one of the things that can help put the debate on surrogacy at the forefront."

Happiness

In any case, the royal family welcomes the baby with happiness. Lene Balleby, a spokesperson for the family, says that the royals "are very happy on behalf of the couple."

Historian and royal house commentator Lars Hovbakke Sørensenpoints out that the royal house is usually more conservative than the general population. However, he thinks the difficulties the royal couple overcame to get married "can help to create more understanding around their decision about surrogate motherhood."

They could have gotten married earlier but he would have lost his inheritance due to the will his Nazi grandfather left.

[humanjeff]

Scarlet Nexus

got gifted this 2021-era game randomly by a friend, and ... it's kinda great actually?

it calls itself "brainpunk", which is exactly like cyberpunk only with the word "brain" stuck in front of everything to denote that it's weird psychic technology. this doesn't quite work, but I freely admit that I would definitely 100% call psychic texts "brain messages".

"I AM SENDING YOU A BRAIN MESSAGE. FROM MY BRAIN." <- all my friends would get this Brain Message every single day, until they Brain Blocked me

anyway, first I should cover the bad: this is an anime-style game; some of the characters have semi-skimpy outfits (however there's zero fanservice). the main character in the male playthrough is of the Romantically Oblivious subtype that - naturally - all the girls incessantly flirt with. some of the jokes are ... dated, or poorly translated. at it's heart it's a JRPG, so there's a fair bit of grinding. etc.

now the parts I like: the game is all kinds of fucked up.

[I'll try to stick to non-plot spoilers (i.e. background info) but I probably won't 100% succeed.]

at the start of the game, you pick one of two different characters, which follow two radically different plotlines - I chose the male, Yuito. both characters are psychokinetic (though their weapons differ), both are new volunteers in the psychic branch of the military. after selecting your character you get to watch as the special brain equipment is attached to you and your fellow volunteers/conscripts and you all collapse screaming in agony. perfectly normal start to a game.

yeah so straight away it's revealed that most of the soldiers - not just the new guys - look like teenagers, and are being given grown blockers to slow their aging (to various degrees). if you pay attention to what one of the characters says about how she was forcibly conscripted a few years earlier, you start to realise that the occasional Actual Children you see walking about are extremely powerful psychics subjected to mandatory enlistment when they were very young; they invariably outrank you.

older-looking soldiers are either new adult conscripts (that everyone expects to die) or child soldiers that the growth blockers are ceasing to work on.

also hey there is government censorware in your eyes that prevents you from seeing certain things. don't worry about it!

so on to the game itself. first of all, you don't have skills as such - you modify your own brain. sometimes the map of your brain gets larger and more irregular. don't worry about it!

you are in a squad of guys with variable powers (different to your own) that you can briefly share. as you hang out in your Secret Teen Hideout and become closer and more compatible, this sharing will start to last longer, and you will begin to have visions of your friends that will help you out. sometimes you become them, just for a second. this is normal and fine. sometimes you forget little things, like who is supposed to be giving you orders, or which side you're on, or how you got here, but on the other hand nobody is stopping you from dressing as bad as you could ever want.

haha you can put a stuffed owl on your head! there's a hole in the sky that nobody talks about any more.

after a while, you unlock the Brain Field power, or as I prefer to think of it, AKIRA MODE, where you become psychically overpowered and get to smash everything. your character staggers around drunkenly, clutching their head and laughing and saying things like "I'll destroy EVERYTHING!", "WITNESS my POWER!" and so on. it's unbelievably fun, and will immediately kill you after a few seconds. none of your friends - who see all this - ever tell you to stop doing it.

none of this, though, prepares you for the moment when the media - having had all their computers trashed - releases a sketch of a suspected criminal (the other playable character). I'm putting it behind a break for reasons that I hope will be self-explanatory.

(the effect this picture has on your squad is devastating, by which I mean it immediately cures them of all some of their ailments.)

[thoughtportal]

Rep David Eastman

https://www.newsweek.com/alaska-republican-touts-benefits-children-being-abused-death-1782972

A legislature in Alaska caused outrage after questioning whether the death of child abuse victims could be "a cost savings," because it would mean they don't need "government services" later in life.

Republican David Eastman, who sits in the Alaska House of Representatives, made the comment on Monday during a House Judiciary Committee hearing.

The committee was meeting to discuss how children are impacted by physical or sexual abuse, as well as witnessing domestic violence within their family home.

Lawmakers were shown a study indicating each incident of fatal child abuse costs society $1.5 million, a figure reached by assessing the impact of trauma and the child's loss of earnings over a lifetime.

However, Eastman was unimpressed, and questioned whether fatal child abuse could be economically beneficial to wider society, an argument he claimed to have heard.

Eastman said: "It can be argued, periodically, that it's actually a cost savings because that child is not going to need any of those government services that they might otherwise be entitled to receive and need based on growing up in this type of environment."

The remark horrified Trevor Storrs, president of the Alaska Children's Trust (ACT), who hit back describing the loss of a child as "unmeasurable."

Newsweek subscription offers >

Democratic Representative Cliff Groh, who used to work as a prosecutor covering child abuse allegations, said he was "disturbed" by Easterman's comment.

Representative Sarah Vance, the Republican who claims the House Judiciary Committee, said Easterman, who doesn't serve on any committees, had been at the hearing "at my invitation."

According to the Anchorage Daily News, she added: "I wished that he asked questions with a little bit more sensitivity to the listeners and how they're perceived, and I can have that conversation.

"But he's there on his own accord and only represents himself."

Vance later suggested Eastman had been trying to make an argument against abortion, which some consider to be "child abuse."

Speaking with the Anchorage Daily News via text message, Eastman said: "I was pleased to hear ACT advocating against child abuse, but a child's value comes not from future productivity, but from the fact that every child is made in the image of God."

Newsweek has contacted Eastman to ask if he stands by his original remarks.

Eastman, a former soldier, was reelected to the Alaska House of Representatives in November 2022.

A lawsuit was filed attempting unsuccessfully to bar Eastman from office due to his membership of the Oath Keepers, a right-wing paramilitary group.

A number of Oath Keepers have been convicted over their role in the storming of Congress on January 6 2021, it a bid to stop the 2020 presidential election result being certified.

Eastman was present in Washington, D.C. that day but there is no indication he took part in the disturbances, which he condemned. He later promoted a discredited conspiracy theory, suggesting the violence could have been committed by left-wing movement Antifa.

[onlymexico]

Cecilia Patricia Flores Armenta known as Ceci Flores is a Mexican human rights activist. She is the founder and leader of Madres Buscadoras de Sonora y de México (searching mothers of Sonora) – a group of women searching for missing or disappeared people in Mexico. Two of Flores’ six children were kidnapped in 2019.

Ceci Flores is from Northern Mexico. Her son, Alejandro along with his boss disappeared in Los Mochis, Sinaloa in 2015. In 2019, two of her children Marco Antonio and Jesús Adrián aged 15 were kidnapped by a cartel. Flores identified one of the men who kidnapped her two sons and threatened him to return her sons. Days later Adrián was released but his brother Antonio remains missing to date.

The search for her son led Flores and other women searching for missing family members to found Searching Mothers of Sonora. The group organize search parties with anti-kidnapping unit of the police but police was inefficient due to lack of fuel and frequent break down of patrol vehicles. In 2021, Flores and her group abandoned the police and decided to reach out directly to the cartels in Sinaloa and Sonora by posting messages on social media making different requests to the cartel. In one of the messages, Flores made a plea to the cartels: “I’m reaching out to the leaders of the cartels. We’re not looking for justice, all we want is to find our missing loved ones and give them a proper burial,”. The group then posted a specific message on social media requesting the cartels to allow them search La Bartolina, a mass gravesite close to the U.S. border on the Gulf Coast. They asked the cartels to drop a banner by the border fence if they approve their request to search the forest for missing people. Days later, a banner was found and the Searching Mothers went into the forest where they discovered and excavated a mass grave containing human skeletons.

Later, this method was adopted by other groups searching for missing people but the government of President Andrés Manuel López Obrador was piqued and accused the searching mothers of colluding with cartels and opposition groups against his government. Flores responded in a video message posted to social media stating that “If I have to go to hell itself, I’ll do it. And if I have to ask narcos for help, I’ll do that too.” On 17 April 2023, Flores was disappeared. President Andrés Manuel López Obrador ordered troops to start an operation to locate her. She was found 15 hours after her disappearance

[lookingforcactus]

Non-paywall version here.

"Shawna Freeman Lane, 34, continued to teach college-level business by laptop after she gave birth by C-section in 2017. Her husband, Eric Lane, was home with her in Fircrest, Wash., for three weeks. The same thing happened in 2018, when their second child was born—except this time, Mr. Lane only got two weeks at home.

Having to leave his still-healing wife in the lurch was hard for Mr. Lane, as was tracking his children’s development via text messages while at work. But when their third was born last May, things were different. In 2020, Washington state had passed a new law entitling working parents to 12 weeks of paid leave, to bond with their newborn.

“It felt like winning the lottery, honestly,” said Mr. Lane, who stayed home for six weeks after their son was born, then another six weeks when Ms. Freeman Lane went back to work.

They are part of an explosion in the number of workers taking parental leave. In the 12 months through February [2023], a monthly 406,000 workers were absent on average due to paid or unpaid parental leave, up 13.5% from 2021, according to Labor Department data. The 478,000 working parents absent in January was the most since records began in 1994.

One driver behind the upswing is likely the increase in births in the past two years versus the prepandemic trend. The pandemic itself may also be a factor, as lockdowns and Covid kept many workers home.

But the main factor appears to be government and employer policies. While the U.S. remains the only advanced economy without nationally mandated paid parental leave, the share of workers with access to leave is growing, to 25% in March last year versus 19% in 2019, according to the Labor Department. Seven states plus the District of Columbia now require employers to provide paid leave, up from four in 2018, while private employers are also expanding the benefit. Four more states will require paid parental leave by 2026.

“As the state laws have passed, there has been a culture change, and more awareness and support for mothers and—especially—fathers around taking leave,” said Jane Waldfogel, a public affairs professor at Columbia University.

A greater propensity by fathers to take leave is an important contributor. The number of men on parental leave tripled to an average of 76,500 in the six months ended in February [2023] from five years earlier, whereas the number of women rose 11% to 336,000, according to census data.

More parental leave-taking benefits the economy in the impact on families’ well-being, said Emily Oster, economics professor at Brown University—ranging from near-term outcomes such as infant mortality rates to longer-term measures, including child test scores and adult earnings. “In this sense, leave now is an investment in the economic future,” Ms. Oster said...

Leave policies are a small but increasingly key way that firms compete for workers, according to Julia Pollak, chief economist at ZipRecruiter. About 3% of currently active online job postings nationwide explicitly advertise parental leave, about a fivefold increase from before the pandemic, ZipRecruiter data show.

Industries seeing the biggest increase are retail, and transportation and warehousing, said Ms. Pollak—something she calls the “Amazon effect.” The e-commerce giant was at the forefront of offering parental-leave benefits, prompting competitors to do the same...

Parents are also taking longer leaves. The typical mother now takes 120 days of bonding leave, up from 110 in 2019, and the median father is out for 60 days, a 15-day increase, according to Sparrow, a leave-management platform. New York state family bonding claims data show a similar trend, with moms claiming 9.9 weeks in 2021, a three-week gain from 2018, and dads extending their average leave by 2.3 weeks, to 6.9...

“My son is so much fun now. He’s getting to the stage where he’s his own human,” [Jonathan Leslie, a 36-year-old software engineer] said. “Having the open-ended play with him—that opportunity won’t come again.”

-via The Wall Street Journal, 4/8/23. Non-paywall version via ProgramBusiness, 4/10/23.

[nerdygaymormon]

Gather Conference - Day 2

On Sept 15 & 16, 1400 people gathered together, making it the largest-ever Conference of LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints and their friends, relatives, and leaders.

The speaker's messages were powerful

The day began with GENTRI The Gentleman's Trio performing. They concluded by having their pianist share his story of coming out and being upset at God, and receiving a message from God which became their song Believe.

Most people first heard of Liv Medoza Haynes when at the 2021 BYU Women's Conference she introduced herself and included the label "queer."

In a church that emphasizes being of good cheer, she points out that Jesus wept and cried, he got angry, and it's fine that we also feel our emotions.

She was wearing a shirt that said, "Keep queer children safe," and she said in choosing what we wear and in our other decisions, choosing to promote love and not hate is the only choice worth making. She also said the only thing straight about her is her hair 😂

Her most powerful statement is that "no verse of scripture is worth losing another life over"

Michael Soto is a transgender man who grew up a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Mesa, Arizona and is a leader in the U.S. LGBTQ+ rights movement. He spoke about Bridge Building. Choose to be uncomfortable, to learn, to grow, to change. God gave us agency so that we can change and be better to each other. The most important change you can make is to love yourself the way God loves you.

Ben Schilaty is well known inside the LDS Church as a gay man who is active and chooses to follow church standards. He said sharing our stories is letting people see and feel our wounds as Jesus did. When they can feel our hurts, they can share in feeling the pain and empathize with what we've been through. Ben is co-host of the podcast Questions from the Closet and their episodes which receive the most interaction are those where someone has been very vulnerable as they emotionally shared the difficult choices they had to make and the situations they were forced into as a queer person.

Ben Schilaty shared this poem by Carol Lynn Pearson that really hit home for me

I dim I dim I do not doubt If someone blew– I would go out.

I did not. I must be brighter than I thought

After 50 years of experiencing gender incongruence, Bree Borrowman came out as trans in 2019. Bree shared that the hiding, sneaking, and shame led to a loss of Spirit. Being authentic, being vulnerable, leaning into the LGBTQ spectrum brought the Spirit back into her life.

Coming out as trans has brought her great blessings. She feared she would lose everything, but God and Jesus turned out not to be the vindictive judges she thought they were. She was able to lay down her burden and has discovered and learned about herself.

Ashley Hess was a finalist on the 2019 season of American Idol. She performed 4 songs for us, each were beautiful, and each were meaningful. "To the Girl I used to Be" and "Grain of Salt" were wonderful, but my favorite was "Yet." I don't hear many songs from this perspective of ‘I'm trying, so God please don't give up on me.’

Charlie Bird shared with us that he is now married!!!! Big congratulations to him and Ryan. Charlie gave a powerful talk.

Satan's big lie is that an integral part of who we are and which we can't separate ourselves from is incompatible with God. We feel like we are only half a child of God, that we are only half worthy. These beliefs damn us and marginalize an entire demographic.

We do not have to choose between being a child of God and a member of the LGBTQ+ community. We are both.

Allison Dayton is the founder of Lift+Love and along with Ben Schilaty she conceived of the Gather Conference.

She shared a number of scripture verses about God's people in the wilderness and said we find God in the wilderness. Queer people and their families often feel like they are in the wilderness and that's where they find God.

Allison also shared that we are not supposed to be just friends, Zion means we are to be one. We are to be united, not dividing up people by who is good enough and who isn't.

We were never meant to be alone. Ever! The very first thing God called "not good" was loneliness. We can start Zion in our own homes by pulling people in who need a place to belong and welcome them

Jenny Richards & Kelly McConkie Stewart are musicians, members of the LDS church, and committed allies to the LBGTQ community.. They played the piano and cello. Their music was beautiful. At the conclusion of the conference, one of them said they wanted to buy some LDS/LGBT swag from the vendors in the lobby. I offered them some swag that isn't for sale out front. Jenny took the pin and said she is going to wear it to church the next day. Kelly took a sticker while commenting she will put it on her cello case

Jeff Case says we shouldn't focus on outcomes but on the process. For example, we can focus on the outcome of exaltation, or we can focus on the process of becoming Christlike. The process is what will lead to the the outcome we desire.

There are many processes which can lead to the outcome, but when we focus on the outcome we tend to shortcut the process. He spoke of being the father of a son who likes to play Yu-Gi-Oh! and he would tease him, like 'Aren't you too old to still play that game?' He was focused on what he wanted his son's life to look like when he grows up that he lost focus on the process. This is something his son loves so he could choose to participate as a way of spending time with his son and strengthening their relationship. Instead, by focusing on the outcome, he is indicating to his son that he may need to hide things from his dad, which, ironically, would not lead to the outcome that Jeff would want.

Tom Christofferson interviewed Darius Gray, and it felt like we were in the presence of one of the great ones as Darius shared his experience of choosing to join the LDS Church, being one of only 2 African-American students at BYU, meeting regularly with 3 apostles about how to improve life for Black members of the church, and living through the 1978 announcement and change. I nodded in agreement when Darius declared he's heard more Jesus talk at this conference than he hears in a typical LDS Sacrament Meeting.

John Gustav-Wrathel is married to his husband and chooses to attend church despite having been excommunicated many years ago. He said that when he looks back on his life, even as he was one of the most faithful people he knew, he was convinced he had no faith because he was taught that if he had enough faith that his sexual orientation would be changed. He believed the teachings of the time instead of listening to God and the Spirit and trusting his own experiences.

Steven Kapp Perry was host throughout the conference and took a moment to share a thought. You can never know that you are truly loved unless you share who you truly are.

Meghan Decker is a gay Latter-day Saint and has written 2 books. She began by sharing that life is hard and can be dark. She encourages us to share with each other what is saving our life now.

She grew up in the 1970's hearing all the harmful church teachings about queer people and it has left scars in her. She now knows that God loves her and has good intent for her.

When Meghan moved to Provo, UT, the first person in her ward to greet her was Janice Kapp Perry. Janice composed a song for the Gather Conference. She recognized the LGBTQ experience is not hers and needed help to get the lyrics right. She contacted Meghan and Meghan's words were used to create the verses of the song.

While reviewing what Meghan had written, Janice commented that the word "broken" is so strong and they should find an alternate word, but Meghan insisted that's how she and many other queer Latter-day Saints have felt. Meghan pointed out that during this day of the conference 8 of those who spoke used the word "broken" to describe how they felt.

Janice then asked, "Do you think my two boys felt that way?"

That question really hit my heart, a mom gaining insight into the pain of her queer children.

Janice wrote a song titled "All Are Alike Unto God." It was performed on the first day of the conference by Molly Flake and John Bowers. I wished I had recorded it as the words mean a lot to me. The final act of the conference before the closing prayer was for all those in attendance to sing the song. Janice has made the song available for free, you can access the sheet music on the Gather Conference website

Click here for a summary of Day 1 of the Gather Conference

[pebblysand]

Heyyyy im dying for an update on castles!! Any hope of getting one soon?😭💗

hi anon! thanks for your message! the tl;dr answer to this is: no.

or, i don't know. maybe? sigh. it's just been a lot lately.

it's a funny one, you know? most of you will not remember this, but there used to be a time when i would share (maybe overshare - is that a word? i've always wondered why that is a word when it's your platform and your rules and people can just choose to ignore you) on tumblr. not just about fics and writing and peaky blinders, but also about me. the stuff i felt. the stuff that was going on in my life. lots of things.

i grew up in an era of blogging and livejournal (seeing dreamwidth make a comeback lately is oh-so-bizarre, btw) where people opened up online - sometimes too much. this was before doxxing, before cancel culture, before it became dangerous to do so. people would complain about their jobs, their mates - the internet was an outlet. and, i don't know if it was better or worse, i'm not here to make value judgements and i've always thought people who say "things were better in my day" sound like absolute twats, but it was undoubtedly different. i've had this conversation with someone on discord lately, about the dreamwidth comeback actually, when this person said: 'people get real personal on there, though' and i was like: 'yeah, i suppose it's just the culture of the place.' a place where, unlike tumblr and everything that came after it, most of the content produced was through words, rather than images. when the internet was still made for writers and you weren't afraid of "clogging" someone's dash with posts that were too long to be digested in less than ten seconds.

the thing is: i like writing. it makes it easier to organise thoughts. and, up to 2020 (2021, even) i used to post monthly updates on my writing, but also about my life, for you. remember how i told you when i passed my bar exam? how i quit my job, found another job, and then another one. i told you about the boy and hinted at my break-up. i told you about how one of my best friends sank into a very toxic relationship, from which i couldn't save her. i told you when my dad died. it wasn't even that long ago. and, i explained to you that for these reasons, and maybe others, i didn't have a chapter out as early as i would have liked. and, you understood. you were kept up with what was going on. it was the pandemic and a different time.

but then, gradually (oh-so-quickly and oh-so-slowly), "you" became "many." i like that word - "many" - it's what my hairdresser said the first time she cut my hair: "they are very fine, but there are very, very, many of them." i suppose that between the first chapter of castles and the latest, my follower count grew into the hundreds and i got - well, scared. scared to share: what i thought, why i wasn't posting, how much or how little i was writing, how i was feeling. because there were too many of you. because i started to hold myself up to higher standards, too.

the truth is that no one wants to listen to anyone on the internet complain. it's not fun. and, specifically, no one wants to listen to fanfiction writers complain. why would they? why would they moan about how busy they are? about how creatively drained they might be? about how maintaining a healthy balance between real life, a job, and writing, is hard, if you do it seriously. because it's a hobby. because it's not "real" writing. because it doesn't matter.

well, anon, i'll tell you something. the voice in my head, it goes like this: why are you tired? it's just fanfiction. stop taking yourself and your little stupid story so seriously. stop thinking this is Important because you're writing about something you feel is important. no one cares. and: you only wrote 80,000 words last year, people write full-blown nanos in a month, calm down. it's not that bad, you don't have children. it's not that bad, you don't have dying parents. it's not that bad, you have money. you're a white cis privileged girl who can afford to spend her free time on writing because you don't have to work multiple paying jobs to foot the bills. so many people do. people who are much busier than you write a lot more than you do. shut up, what are you crying about? why are you responding to this poor anon with anything other than "soon, i hope." they weren't even mean about it.

and, i like the word "many" because it encompasses the realness of it, the repetition of it. many, many, many. it's less theoretical than "a lot". you can't say: a lot, a lot, a lot. it's morning as i write this, irish drizzle blown in by the wind against my window, thin droplets like static and i wonder: could i isolate thirty thousand? count up to thirty thousand little drops of rain against glass and imagine what that would look like as people. that's a small stadium, isn't it? and, it's also almost how many people have clicked on castles, in the past three years. it's also how many people, in my head, are telling me to just suck it up and write the next chapter. it's been a month already, hasn't it?

to tell you the truth, i still overshare with some people. there's a very small discord i'm on which is more like a group chat with my best internet friends. it's a lot of fun. and, i'm not going to tag them here for fear that you might come at them with pitchforks, but after i was explaining this to them, how exhausted and drained and lost i've been feeling lately, i had some, last week, tell me i should just give up castles. just stop, recharge, take care of myself. it's just a fic, it doesn't matter. let it go, you know?

so, yeah. you read that right, anon dearest. people who i really love, and trust, told me i should put your beloved on an indefinite hiatus and move on with my life. how's that for an update? and, they didn't say it in a "this is a bad fic and it's not worth continuing" kind of way, but in a "it's not worth working yourself into the ground" kind of way. in a "fanfiction is a hobby" kind of way.

i typically count years from september to august (i'm still in school, in my head, sue me) and this past one has been long and hard. for reasons that i won't explain because of the "very many" issue i mentioned above. for reasons that i also won't explain because as i also mentioned above, i can't help but always compare myself to people who have it worse. but, the fact of the matter is that whilst i'm not really asking for sympathy, i do want to say this, as i hope it will help provide a bit of context to how i'm feeling right now, in terms of writing.

anon dearest, i'm exhausted. i'm bored. i'm turning thirty in 24 days. i'm sick and tired of putting everything in my life on hold "until i finish castles". i would estimate that right now (and for the past three years) castles has eaten up about 75% of my free time. i think the first couple years, i didn't really mind. because it was the pandemic. because there wasn't much else i wanted to do. but now, when i see my friends, i try to schedule it on weekday evenings because i want to keep my weekends for writing. when i travel at the weekends, take holidays, do anything that will take me more than a couple hours, it's a compromise made against writing time. a compromise i often feel guilty about because it delays the next update and because ultimately, it delays the moment when i do finish castles. when i am able to move on to something else. move on with my life and also maybe another story of my own.

these past few months, i wrote almost every day from late march until last week because i knew i'd be going home to france in august and wouldn't be able to write there, so i needed to get ahead. everything in my life is planned around writing and updating and i'm a little bit burnt out, anon. it's typical summer me, nothing to really worry about, i felt the same last year (those who were already here will remember) but it doesn't make it suck less. and, that's why people are telling me to give up. because i keep getting stuck in this cycle of overworking myself, getting burnt out, taking a month off and diving back in again. it's fanfiction and it's a hobby and it's meant to be fun and it's just not fun anymore. it feels endless and draining and like a vampire eating my "good" years. time my mates are spending getting married and having children. and, even if i don't think that's what i want for myself, precisely, i still don't feel like the life i'm currently living is one i want to be living in five years' time.

i don't want to be exhausted. i don't want to be working all the time. this groundhog day of getting up, opening up my (work, or personal) laptop, deliveroo-ing my meals, working until 9:30 pm, and repeat. i have seven chapters left to go to the end, which will take 12 to 18 months, and i don't think i can go on like this for another year. i don't want to. something's gotta give: my IRL life, my job, or this "hobby", and it is logical (oh-so-logical) that it should be the latter.

and, yet. when my pocket friends suggested this, i came at them with pitchforks. i said: no. no, no, no, no. i can't give up. i don't want to give up. i love this story. it's unnerving and draining and exhausting, but haven't touched it for a week and i already miss it - it's crazy. and, it's true: it's not fun, but writing, to me, has never been "fun". it's: fulfilling, exhilarating, meaningful, it gives me the chills and a sense of peace but it's not "fun". i don't know who the fuck writes for "fun". you can enjoy things that aren't "fun", you know? i definitely do.

and, if i had to pick one thing to give up on that list, honestly, it would be my job - 100%. i'd finish castles in six months, if i could give that up. but, i can't, lovely anon. because fanfic doesn't pay. because writing doesn't pay. and whilst i do have a savings account that i intend to use someday to take time off to write, i don't think i could justify using it for anything other than original fiction. because at least, there would be a tiny bit of hope that the book might get picked up and i could make my money back. i can't, like, quit my job to write fanfiction, can i? even if i did set up a patreon, i doubt you all would want to fund me, lol.

so, i don't know. i don't know what to do, anon. i don't want to give up castles. realistically, i probably won't. realistically, i'm probably going to keep ploughing through and overworking myself and feeling like i'm throwing my youth and my free time away into this project that everyone will most likely forget the moment it is finished. right now, to answer your question, i have about 6,000 words on the new chapter. right now, i'm also taking august off writing. to recharge, to sleep, and only write if i feel like it. later? i don't know. i think i'm in a place where i've just got 30,000 words out in three months and i'm too brain-dead to think clearly. i am acutely aware that this issue doesn't have a solution (or at least one that i like) but i might be more willing to compromise my life again after a bit of rest and holidays.

anyway, sorry for being a debbie downer, anon. and sorry i don't have an update for you. i'm dying for one, too.

[palestinian-fundraising]

PLEASE READ AND REBLOG🇵🇸

Help me to complete my study & evacuate my family

Message left by creator:

I am Dr. Sulaiman Ewaida from Gaza, Palestine, a human medicine student. Just had five months left to graduate, but wars and circumstances prevented me from achieving my dream of becoming a surgeon and providing humanitarian service to the world in general and to my country and my people in particular، I have been going through very difficult circumstances since I was young. I witnessed more than four wars. I was witnessing the suffering of my people as they were killed and displaced because of that. I wanted to help them and offer them what I could and was able to do, since in the 2014 war I was a volunteer in one of the humanitarian relief organizations, And helped in organize and distribute aid to people, when I was 17 years old at that time .

Then in 2015 I going to Sudan and study medicine at kassala university then after I finished three years from my study unfortunately infectious diseases ( Daung fever , chiconkgnia and Corona ) was spread so my university was closed for one and half year then traid war was started at kassala state and during all of that my university was closed so I decided to travel to Al-khartum and continue my study at IBN Sina university and started the 4th level but unfortunately the Sudanese Revolution started at September 2021 and that resulting to loos communication and stop all the life aspects in the country including my university and after I ended the 4th and 5th years when the last year Started the war in Sudan begun at march 2023 due to that we are forced displaced as a Palestinian student via Palestinian Embassy under the booming and snipers so the conditions was very dangerous for our lifes although some of them try to steal our passports when we tried to pass Arqin border that cross between Sudan and Egypt by buses that road taken about 20 hours without water, Food and tollit and when we reached the border we still in desert for 8 hours then complete our travel to Gaza by bus the way had taken another 15 hours and finally we reached our family with thoughts of being safe because we were forget that Gaza still war zone due to what we saw there actually we are coming with a lot of dreams because we are in our country among aur people so it's like a home for us.

But happy days ended at 7th October when the war started against Gaza so my feelings of hummenty and responsibility against my people made me decided to leave my family and going as voulanter at emergency department at Al-shifa hospital but actually I thought like whole Gaza people that will ended within month as long as possible like before wars but at my work I saw a thousand victims from men , women and children all of them friends, family, Neighbours and relatives so the main I idea in my mind when me or member of my family will came at emergency department as victims although I work more than energy but shape of injured child specially when should make amputation of his/her arm or leg or became with amputated arm or leg the sound of his craying still in my ear until now and I can't delete from my mind the shape of his/her mother when I said that her/his baby died, that I feel my heart was broken in every moment of Mass Casualty because we can't deal with a huge number of injured patients at the same time after each attack in small number of medical staff and medical science so we forced to make a comparison between the injured patients according the percentage of his live acutely it's the most difficult decision we did it but we don't have anything to do because the small number of beds in ICU and small amount anaesthesia for operation either small number of operations room and you can imagine all of that low service in main centre hospital in Gaza stripe although I worked for fifty day until I forced displaced to south after nine days of Al-shifa hospital seigal without food, water and electricity we are dependent of storied food that is not enough for this days we are try to made breads in hospital from flour that was remain after displaced refugees from Al-shifa

Then i was volunteering at Al Nasser hospital in Khan Yunis for month and the journey to thier is not easy (no transportation, hours of walking with high risk of been shot or bombed) , until the place there became unsafe and I had to move to Al-Mawasi in Rafah.

currently , I have been volunteering at different medical points for nearly two months in Al-Mawasi in Rafah,where this area become Epidemic with infectious diseases such as hepatitis A , Acute gastroenteritis, common cold, scabies, chicken box,meningitis and alot of different diseases due to lack of hummenty life such as dierty water and contaminated food and loos of detergents in crowding area although i refuce being still in the tent and my feelings of hummenty and responsibility against my people so i decided to continue as voulanter to help them and providing humanitarian service and what my conscience dictates is the direction of my country and my people.

And, like a million and a half residents of Gaza, I live with my family in a tent after we lost our home. We are now homeless and hopeless like many others due to the ongoing bombings in Gaza since October 7th. My family was displaced 3 times and since I didn’t want to flee to the south with them and leave all those injured patients behind, I’ve decided to stay and volunteer in the hospital while not being sure if they made it safely to the south or if I’d ever hear from them again.

This is my story, and I want to complete my studies in order to help my family and my people and provide humanitarian service to all the sick and injured in all this world, and I am in dire need of your donations and generosity in order to finish what I started, as I am the breadwinner and the remaining hope for my family, know We have reached a point where there is no hope left for us here in Gaza where we are unfortunately just waiting for our turn to die and even if there is a ceasefire, the destruction in Gaza is beyond prompt repair. To cross “Rafah” Gaza-Egypt Borders your need to have your name listed in the Crossing List (paid permit) and coordinators in Egypt who have the power to add my family’s names to the list at the border are now asking for anywhere from $5000-8,000 per PERSON! They will not add the names until we can prove we have the money ready and I can't leave my family in this situation.

So , Please help me get them out, I will sincerely appreciate any donation, even small ones that will make a significant difference in alleviating our suffering. Please consider SHARING my campaign widely with your family and friends to reach my goal as soon as possible since every second is death danger in Ga.za. I will be forever grateful for your kind assistance in this difficult time.

We are hoping to raise $70.500 . The proceeds of this fundraiser will go to an account managed by me.

[miraculousturtle]

Please reblog or back this lovely children's book by a wonderful Chicana poet from Los Angeles!

Kickstarter closes ends on June 14th and she is only at 17%.

🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

BUTTONZ FINDS HIS MOJO is a story about a black cat named Buttonz...

He is the only cat - among humans and dogs! - until one day he comes across two black kittens just like him in his family's backyard...

But when Buttonz's cat fam unexpectedly grows, even more, they seem to have all the fun in the world in the wild cat jungle of the backyard. Then, some strange feelings come up inside Buttonz's otherwise purrfect heart. Soon, his tail begins to sag, and, alas, he loses his appetite! Something's gone missing. Will Buttonz ever find his mojo again?

Why Mojo? Why now?

Kids have been struggling in a post-pandemic world in their key formative years. Mental health specialists have encouraged concerned adults to help our children name their feelings and find healthy ways to manage them during difficult times. BUTTONZ FINDS HIS MOJO was written to serve as an important reminder to children that even though not every day is ameowzing, we can still nurture our mojo and find new ways to build relationships and support networks with those in our community.

Kickstarter Goal

Our Kickstarter goal budget of $8,500 is designed to offset the cost of illustrating 100% of the book and carry us right into book production. Book production includes a professional layout, cover design, and ebook conversion. There are other costs associated with publishing and merchandise development (see rewards) that are covered within this goal.

You can help Oh My Gatos! Books unlock two more books in the series - Mama Mittens Magical Tails and Lady Lemons the Library Cat - when you help us reach our stretch goals. Check out the details down below to see how!

From the Author

Hi! My name is Brenda Vaca and BUTTONZ FINDS HIS MOJO is my first children's storybook. I am a writer who fell in love with stories - reading and writing them! - from a very young age. I published my first book, a poetry collection for grownups called Riot of Roses, last year in December 2021 with incredible support from the Kickstarter community. I'm back again this year because my first experience was so incredible, I wanted to do it all again. This is my family's first cat, Buttonz. He's the inspo behind this new children's book series.

About the Illustrator

Sucy Ananda, known professionally as "SucculentFleur," is an incredible artist and illustrator from Indonesia. Brenda was a big fan of SucculentFleur on Instagram so when it came time to find an illustrator, Sucy agreed to help! And we're so thrilled she did. Her bright artistry and imagination really capture the spirit of Buttonz and his family.

The Rest of the Team

Ana Karen is a fantastic stationery designer and producer. What can we say, she loves paper! And, of course, other wonderful essentials to make learning, writing, reading, and creating fun. Ana Karen is designing a special pencil, especially for Buttonz's book launch!

Paola Gutierrez, otherwise known as "La Piedrita Feliz" and "El Libro Feliz y Yo" is a children's book writer and poet who loves to paint beautiful stones with encouraging messages and affirmations. She graciously agreed to be part of our campaign by designing several sets of Mojo Motivations and we couldn't be more thrilled!

Naynay the Cat Lady is a mysterious gal who loves to crochet and is so so crafty. She has created a prototype of a Buttonz stuffy using her fabulous crocheting skills that are available exclusively for this campaign. How very boutique of her! Recommended for older children. Limited supply, so snatch yours up before they're gone!