#Complete Idiot's Guide

[canajunfinances]

Looking for a straightforward, practical guide to tackling debt? This review of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Getting Out of Debt by Ken Clark, CFP, highlights the book’s approachable style and useful strategies. Covering everything from debt denial and payday loan pitfalls to budgeting and long-term financial habits, the book offers a clear roadmap for anyone feeling overwhelmed by debt. Whether you’re in deep or just starting to slip, this guide can help you take control and move forward with confidence.

(via Complete Idiot's Guide to Getting Out of Debt)

[veryslowreader]

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Hypnosis by Roberta Temes

The Hottie and the Nottie

[s0dium]

𝐖𝐄𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐏𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐘

A/n: For all my weird tumblr smut AO3 girls Synopsis: No one expects the weird girl to have such a good pussy. Warnings: Male whimpering, squirting, pussy drunk men, pervert y/n, unprotected sex

No one suspects the weird girl to be a perverted fiend.

No one suspects the weird girl who reads AO3 and Tumblr on the bus and has key chains of their favorite chibi anime guy. No one suspects the girl who fumbles over their words during a presentation, the girl who goes to classes in sweaters and sweatpants, the girl who spends her time daydreaming about fictional scenarios. No one suspects the girl who always seems shy and sweet, only to have a secret stash of explicit fanfiction hidden on her phone, the kind that would make even the most confident person turn red.

And of course, no one expects the weird girl to have such good pussy.

So when the confident, smooth-talking guy gets you in his bedroom, how the hell is it possible that he is trembling from pleasure just from slipping his tip in?

"Fuck, I c-can’t—" he groans, his voice breaking as he stumbles over the words. His usual cool demeanor is completely shattered, replaced with breathless gasps and desperate sounds. His head is thrown back, neck taut, and his eyes are screwed shut like he’s trying to hold onto every ounce of composure, terrified that if he opens them, the mind-numbing pleasure coursing through him will slip away. Every time your pussy squeezes around his aching dick his body trembles uncontrollably, muscles tensing and relaxing in waves as he tries to keep himself together.

"Look at me," you coo, your voice steady despite the pounding of your own heart. You may be practically a virgin, but you're by no means an idiot. Hours of reading smut, scrolling through Twitter porn threads, and indulging in endless fantasies have taught you more than you'd ever admit. You've spent too many nights alone, lost in stories and scenes where you imagined yourself in control, learning every filthy detail in your mind until it felt like second nature. So now, laying here with him unraveling over you, you're anything but inexperienced.

He locks eyes with you, big and desperate and you cup his perfect face with trembling hands.

"You're mine tonight ok?" you whisper, bringing him in just enough for your breath to tickle his lips, your voice low and dripping with confidence you didn't know you had. "Every sound, every breath—your mine."

"F-fuck, y-yeah I'm yours" he groans, accentuating his words with a sharp thrust right into your cervix, knocking the wind out of you.

"Mmm!" You cry. It’s painful, but in the pain is so much pleasure. He presses his forehead against yours as he slides in and out of you, gripping the sheets with his supporting hand as your hot, wet entrance swallows his cock. Instinctively, you're cunt squeezed around the foreign intrusion, trying to push it out, making him let out a low groan of his own as he thrusts even deeper into you. 

“Y/n I-I can feel you doing it to me,” he says hoarsely.

His fingers gently press into the skin of your hip, guiding and steadying you as he pulls back and thrusts into you. The sudden friction and collision with your G-spot makes your brain go fuzzy. Ticklish pleasure courses through your veins and you immediately throw your head back against the wall as he rams into you.

"Hnghh, s-so good~~" You whine. It was dizzying, the curvature of his dick digging itself against your g-spot, scraping against your vaginal walls every time he backed his hips up.

Simultaneously, his other hand sought yours, finding it with a purposeful tenderness. His fingers intertwined with yours, locking them together in a grip that was both a clasp and a caress.

"Were we doing it like this in your head baby?" He grunts, his Adam apple bobs as he groans from the pleasure of how fucking heavenly your pussy feels. "Because this is how we were doing it in mine." He felt good? Try euphoric. How could it be possible that pussy feels this good?

You can't even open your mouth to respond. The friction of his dick against your walls is just too good and as his pace intensified, a dizzying warmth spread through you, filling every corner of your being with a euphoric haze. The sensation of being completely enveloped, utterly connected, sent electric flesh arrows of pleasure through your body, making your eyes flutter and roll back slightly in sheer bliss. Every motion he makes, every time his fat tip collides with your cervix, leaves behind a trail of sparkling heat that seems to light you from within.

And of course, no one expects the weird girl to be a squirter.

You don't know whats happening and you don't have enough to warn him. Release washed over you in an all-encompassing wave, radiating out from your core to the very tips of your fingers and toes. It swept through you like a storm, leaving a trail of starbursts in its wake. Your body arched instinctively, clinging to him as the wave crested, then gently, slowly, began to ebb.

He stills his motion and watches through wide eyes as clear liquid sprays onto his abdomen and you tremble and moan. As you floated back down from the heights of bliss, your breath came easier, softer, the lingering aftershocks of pleasure pulsing gently through you.

"Why did you stop?" You whisper.

Sukuna, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Toji Fushiguro

#weirdgirlpussy

[arsnof]

How do you even sell things online? I've only ever been on the receiving end of eBay. A lot of it is from eBay so that's like recycling right

[xoxojisu]

thinking abt being scared to be too clingy w katsuki...

"jisu you seem like you think abt being too clingy a LOT. didn't you just recently write this fic and that fic that are basically the exact same prompt?" no you can sybau.

you’re standing in the doorway of his dorm, hoodie sleeves pulled over your hands, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

he’s sitting on the bed, back against the headboard, legs spread just enough to be inviting without trying. hoodie half-zipped, sweats hanging low on his hips, phone in one hand, completely relaxed.

you are not.

you want to sit with him. in his lap. be tucked in, held tight, kissed maybe once or twice until you melt into him like sugar in hot tea.

but your feet don’t move.

you feel like if you climb into his space first, it’ll make it obvious how badly you want it. how you’ve been thinking about it all day. how when you woke up this morning, a part of you was already aching for his arms.

and what if he doesn’t want that right now?

what if he’s tired, or busy, or just not feeling it?

you shift from foot to foot.

his eyes flick up for only a second before going back to his phone.

“you comin’ in or just gonna stand there lookin’ like an idiot?”

your cheeks flush a little.

“shut up.”

he hums. doesn’t banter. just sets his phone aside, like, completely, not even face-up, and looks at you properly now. tilts his head a little.

and you see it. the way his gaze softens. the way his mouth twitches like he’s trying not to smile, because if he does, the world will probably collapse or something.

he opens his arms. slow, easy.

“c'mere.”

you hesitate. not because you don’t want to. but because you do, and that’s the part that always scares you. you want him so much. you love him with your whole heart and soul and would spend every second being close with him if you could. but does he? are you being too much? too clingy? your own insecurity and self-doubt eats at you.

he catches that in your face. always does. so he adds, voice lower now:

“c’mon, sweetheart. don’t make me ask twice.”

maybe the nickname does it. or maybe it's his tone, or the look in his eyes. either way, it does you over.

you pad over quietly, still a little unsure, until you’re standing between his knees. he reaches for your hips, not rough like how he does most things, but careful, like he doesn’t want to rush you.

“lemme hold you, yeah?”

you nod.

and that’s it.

he pulls you in, smooth and easy, guiding you into his lap like you’ve always belonged there. one arm wraps firm around your lower back. the other slides up under your hoodie to settle warm against your spine.

he exhales deep, like tension he didn’t even notice was there just fell out of his chest.

“fuck. there you are.”

you melt.

your face tucks into his neck. your arms go around his shoulders. your whole body curls up like it knows exactly how to fit against him now. no more guessing. no more hovering.

he rubs your back, slow and steady, fingers dragging ticklishly but soothingly along skin.

“you don’t gotta wait for me to say it every time,” he mumbles into your hair.

“if you want this, just take it. always want you close.”

you nod against his neck, lips brushing warm against his pulse.

and he holds you tighter, just for a moment, like he needs to be sure you believe it.

you do.

masterlist

[squipa]

let me shatter into you

— aka jason knows better than to let anyone get away with hurting you

———

your eyes trace the brown-yellow bruise forming on your wrist, the consequence of some asshole on the street too drunk to remember it isn’t polite to grab pretty girls. you would’ve let it go, really, it’s gotham, this kind of thing happens. unfortunately for the poor bastard, he had the misfortune of forgetting his sense in front of jason todd.

you try to hide the bruise before your boyfriend can see it, sliding the tarnished patch of skin under the sleeve of your jacket with haste— but he catches it anyways. of course he does. you can faintly see shocks of green lightning crackling in his ocean blue eyes, a precursor to the white hot rage stemming from his chest to the rest of his body.

you gently squeeze his arm, noting how tense the muscles in his bicep are. you know jason. you know he loves you differently— like you’re something fragile. he worships you, taking care of you like you’re a marble statue and he’s terrified of finding cracks. so something as small as a bruise, no matter how tiny or how minor, it makes him lose control.

he gently removes your hand from his arm, pressing a chaste kiss against your bruise. “why don’t you go back to that café, yeah? i’ll join you in a minute.” he says, looking down at you with a soft smile. if you didn’t know him any better, you’d think he’d completely gotten over the situation, happy as a clam.

but you do know him, and you know that the way his shoulders are tensed and his free hand is fisted in the pocket of his jacket means that he’s enraged.

“jay—“

he presses a soft kiss to your forehead, giving you a gentle smile. “please, baby. i don’t want you to see this.”

you should stop it. you should try. but he’s looking at you like that and your morals suddenly become incredibly loose. you hesitate, remembering the waves of repulsion you felt moments ago when that idiot bastard yanked you towards him. “just… don’t hurt him bad.”

jason nods, turning you around and guiding you forward, watching until you turn towards the cafe before he focuses his attention on the man, who is still too piss drunk to comprehend how badly he had fucked up. you hear jason before the door fully closes behind you, an echo of “so you think that’s how you should treat a woman?”

he’s terrifying. that drunk idiot must be terrified.

and he’s yours. scary dog privileges and all that. it makes you feel warm, safe, loved, protected— you’re irrevocably in love with that. with him.

he comes back in a few minutes, maybe fifteen? the wait stretched on for hours in your mind. his knuckles are bloody, but none of it is his. he cleans up in the bathroom before sliding next to you on the cushioned side of your half-booth, wrapping an arm and your shoulder, breathing you in like a man starved.

“he’s fine.” he says quietly, so only you can hear it. “just made sure he learned to keep his hands to himself.”

you close your eyes, leaning into him, into his warmth. you don’t say anything— you don’t have to, the way you bury yourself against him is admission enough. his arms wrap around you and the bruise fades back into your skin. your heart beats with more love than you thought it capable of producing, your chest swelling like it’s about to burst.

you press a gentle kiss against his chest and everything makes sense again.

———

it’s always when i say i’m not gonna write that inspiration strikes

[homunculus-argument]

One worldbuilding thing that's always fun to do is take something you've encountered in the real world, and apply something similar with the same logic into your own. Like those sayings that have two halves, but people usually only know the first half and misunderstand the saying - like "birds of a feather flock together (until the cat comes)" or "great minds think alike (but fools rarely differ)." So I came up with a few for The Book I'm Not Writing:

Hungry dogs are loyal dogs (until someone else feeds them) - neglecting and mistreating your underlings may work as a short-term tactic for making them obey, but it's also a guarantees that they'll betray you at first chance.

The mouth of an idiot is as loose as the strings of their purse (so be there when gold may drop out) - just because nine out of ten things that someone says are completely useless doesn't mean you should dismiss them altogether. They might still know useful things, even if they can't tell it's useful.

Blood makes a foul dye (it stains, but it won't last) - here "foul" is often interpreted as "brutal" or "gruesome", when it's meant as "of low quality". Using violence as your way to establish dominance and maintain authority because it's easier than building networks of mutual trust and respect is as stupid and short-sighted as using blood to dye clothes because it's cheaper than proper pigment.

A fool will starve to death while waiting for grain to grow (but it is also a fool who'll slaughter an ewe an hour before it lambs) - Immediate problems require immediate solutions, but you'd better make sure that your drastic emergency solution is the right one.

A blind horse will go as you guide where a half-blind one dare not (both through the darkness and down a cliff) - an agent who doesn't know the purpose of their task will obey blindly, where one that knows some part of it might disobey out of distrust, but neither is as reliable as one that does see the big picture, can draw their own conclusions from the information they gather, and adjust their plans accordingly.

[be-xkyy]

Tw: sexual content, breeding, angry sex, jealous boyfriend, mate couple, Hybrid AU.

Yandere Cat Hybrid Boyfriend who is completely in love (obsessed) with his human girlfriend ♡

He can't help but hide in the corners of the house, alert with his furry ears pulled back and his tail swishing behind him before jumping in front of you every time you pass, scaring you to death

He gets extremely offended and hisses at you when you throw his "gifts" in the trash, gifts that are mostly dead rats, dead birds, spiders, and he even caught a snake once, he did all that just for you little ungrateful one

His sense of smell is highly developed so he can smell when someone else has been around you, always when you come back from the store or work he will pounce on you purring... only for his purrs to stop abruptly when he smells the scent of another male on you...

“Why do you smell like another male?! What were you doing to make him leave his scent so strong on you, huh?! You fucked him, is that it?!”

His tail bristles and his eyes squeeze into thin slits, venomous accusations leave his lips between furious hisses, it's cruel, but it's just a defense mechanism, his heart pounds in his ears and his chest hurts at the thought of you abandoning him for someone else :(

“I thought fucking you and bathing you in my essence would keep the idiots away from you! But you have no respect for yourself or me! I'm going to fuck you with an entire litter of my kittens, so you and the idiots out there know that you belong to me! ”

He doesn't listen to any of your excuses or let you explain anything, he grabs your arm tightly digging his nails into your skin which will surely be full of bruises tomorrow and drags you to the living room pushing you on the carpet, he roughly gets between your legs, the sound of the fabric tearing fills the room when he rips off your clothes revealing your lace lingerie that in any other situation he would have admired but now he's mad at you :(

He doesn't even take off his clothes, he just rips off your panties before his fingers desperately open his belt, he pulls his pants down to his thighs along with his boxers, he takes his fat cock in his hand rubbing it up and down firmly, he's capable enough to see through his annoying haze and know that he has to lubricate you a little since he doesn't want to hurt you ♡

He spits on your pussy, uses his saliva to lubricate you by rubbing your clit a few times before taking his cock, guiding it towards your pussy, he inserts himself with a thrust, throwing his ears back in pure pleasure at the feeling of your tight warm pussy sucking him, his tail swings behind him at the moans you let out ♡

He moves his hips vigorously, the dirty sound of wet slaps along with his hisses and your moans fills the room, his fingers dig hard into your hips as he pushes you down impaling you on his cock that hits your cervix rhythmically over and over again, he leans over you licking your neck with his rough tongue before biting down hard breaking the skin and making you gasp in pain, your body tense up and your vaginal walls clamp down on his cock ♡

He's completely lost in his pleasure, his cock throbs and your walls clamp down on him, a warning that you'll climax soon, just like him, his furry tail wraps around your thigh as he fucks you harder, he frowns and squints, his cock frantically pounds against your bruised cervix and when you least expect it you cum, spurting onto his cock and belly with a high-pitched moan ♡

He hisses with pleasure as he feels your climax and buries himself deep inside you,he cums, milky white ropes painting your insides, his thick semen filling your fertile uterus, you whimper as his knot begins to swell inside you, big, making sure to keep you plugged so that none of his semen goes to waste, so that all his kittens grow in your belly ♡

He collapses on top of you, clinging to your warmth as he catches his breath. He rubs his nose against your jaw while his tail curls and uncurls rhythmically around your thigh, like a caress. He stares at your fucked-out form in fascination and smiles. His fangs gleam, he's almost angelic. His ears perk up happily, and he speaks with a haunting purr.

“I can't wait to fuck you every day! Now that we're making kittens together, you can't officially go back to work... we need to make a whole litter. This is the first of many, right, Mate..?”

[sixeyesonathiel]

RED STRING OF FATE m.list

— alternative universes, same lovestruck idiots.

a collection of love stories woven through time and fate, where every twist and turn leads you back to him—gojo satoru. from childhood bonds to fleeting encounters, soulmates to strangers crossing paths, each moment is tied together by an invisible thread. no matter the distance or detours, love always finds its way home, and satoru is the heart of it all.

♡ generally fluff + happy ending 𔓘 some gn / mostly fem reader-insert

♡ satoru gojo being obnoxiously in love with you <3

♡ different aus, same red string

codes. path = oneshot. routes = series. completed = navigated, ongoing = navigating. word count = miles. personal faves = stellar. fan favorite = landmark.

── .✦ FATE’S ITINERARY

♡₊ path #001 ⌇ free throws and figure drawings

⤷ satoru gojo is a basketball star, the campus menace, and undeniably the best-looking guy in any room—but he’s definitely not a model. so when you, a quiet, intense art student with nothing but a flyer, ask him to pose for a painting, he laughs and says no. but when you mention paying him? suddenly, he’s reconsidering—because easy money might just turn into something far more complicated. <– navigated, 22k miles. stellar, landmark.

♡₊ path #002 ⌇ roses bloom the prettiest in ruin

⤷ as the princess of a fallen monarchy, you were raised to uphold tradition, while satoru gojo, the son of the prime minister, was taught to rule. your families have always been at odds—yours clinging to the past, his shaping the future—but satoru has never cared for politics when it comes to you. despite the lines drawn by power, satoru’s never been one to follow the rules, and from the moment he met you, he knew your story wasn’t meant to end in polite distance. <– navigated, 8k miles. stellar.

♡₊ route #003 ⌇ love comes in small sizes

⤷ you and satoru have always been something—never labeled, never defined. from jujutsu high to stolen rooftop kisses, your bond is a tangled mess of healing hands, half-confessions, and his irritating habit of getting hurt just to keep your attention. but when pride and loss tear you apart, you walk away—until six years later, fate (and a tiny, pink-backpack-wearing menace) drags you back into his world. <– navigating, 19k miles. landmark.

♡₊ route #004 ⌇ a guide to ditching the world’s most persistent nerd!

⤷ gojo satoru has been the bane of your existence since kindergarten—rejecting your chocolates, choosing studying over playtime, and making you think he was boring. years later, he’s the smartest, richest, greenest green flag at your elite university, and when you're paired for a 60% project, you think you can coast—until he drags you back to work at every exclusive club. you flirt, he humors you; you push, he pulls, and suddenly, you're falling for him in a way you never expected. <– navigating, 41k miles.

♡₊ path #005 ⌇ love thy neighbor

⤷ you’ve known satoru gojo since childhood, raised in a neighborhood where your moms’ lawn wars were as fierce as their friendship, and your dads? best friends. every morning, it’s the same—banter over the fence, competitive watering, and a rivalry you didn’t know would grow into something so much more. from your first awkward exchange to stolen glances over the years, he's the one constant you never saw coming. <– navigating, 24.6k miles.

♡₊ path #006 ⌇ bake me up, buttercup

⤷ after a grueling gym session, satoru’s thumb lazily scrolls through his feed, only to pause on a reel of the most captivating pastry he’s ever seen. it’s not just the mouthwatering treats your making—it’s the way you smile at the camera, a quiet warmth that gets to him more than he cares to admit. despite his best efforts to stick to his diet, he can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to steal a taste of your sweetness, too. <– coming soon.

♡₊ path #007 ⌇ dazzle me, darling

⤷ at school, you and satoru gojo are academic rivals—always competing for the top spot in every subject, exchanging snarky remarks, and trying to one-up each other at every turn. however, when satoru gets into trouble one fateful night, a mysterious magical girl swoops in to save him, leaving him utterly enchanted by her grace and power. what he doesn’t know is that the magical girl he's falling for is none other than you, the same person he can't stand in class. <– coming soon.

♡₊ path #008 ⌇ behind the lens

⤷ satoru gojo is the biggest heartthrob of his small town, a high school golden boy with a secret crush on you—the sweetest model in the industry. when he finally gets scouted, he expects to be the bad boy to your nice girl, only to discover you’re a lot more dangerous than he ever imagined. now, caught in a whirlwind of photoshoots and blushing, he can't decide if he’s terrified or completely hooked. <– coming soon.

♡₊ path #009 ⌇ name slips, heart skips

⤷ you walk into your favorite café, but today, something’s different. the new barista keeps misspelling your name on purpose, and it’s too adorable to ignore. the more you brush it off, the more you realize it might not be a mistake after all—he’s clearly up to something. <– coming soon.

♡₊ path #010 ⌇ boardroom chemistry

⤷ you’ve always kept it professional, flexible, and discreet with your side gig as a fake girlfriend—until your newest client turns out to be none other than your unbearable CEO. now you’re stuck pretending to date the man you despise, all while trying not to let your growing attraction ruin everything. if only he’d stop being so damn charming, maybe you could keep it together. <– coming soon.

♡₊ path #011 ⌇ no one else needed to notice

you answered a quiet jujutsu forum post to escape a restless kyoto night. late-night messages with a stranger turned into playful banter and warm voice calls. his laugh became your tether, cutting through the monotony of sorcerer life. when he suggests meeting, it feels fragile but real. something steady sparks where you least expected it. <– navigated, 6.4k miles.

more destinations to be added.

tag list : @akeisryna @esotericsorrow @prettilyrisse @cherrymoon55 @linaaeatsfamilies @k0z3me

comment to be added on the tl xx. whole collection or specify what fic.

unreleased fics might be subject to change.

[hoondrop]

LAWYER HUSBAND! HEESEUNG

warnings: f! reader, dirty talk (a lot), kinda mean heeseung but not much? he's more frustrated? sub! reader

The door slammed shut behind him. Heeseung loosened his tie like it had personally offended him, jaw tight, eyes stormy. His suit jacket hit the floor as he stalked toward you in the living room, where you sat curled on the couch in one of his old button-downs... barely buttoned at all.

His eyes flicked over you. Hair messy. Thighs bare. No bra.

He exhaled a harsh, guttural sound, voice rough. “You’re really sitting there like that… after the day I’ve had?”

You tilted your head, innocent. “Like what?”

“Like my fuckin’ reward. Like everything I need after arguing with idiots for ten goddamn hours.” He stood in front of you now, towering, eyes blazing as he dropped to his knees. “Get up.”

You blinked. “What—?”

He grabbed your hips, firm and guided you up, sitting where you’d been and pulling you forward to straddle his lap. His hands slid under the shirt, spreading over your thighs, your ass, squeezing like he was grounding himself.

The second your thighs straddled his lap, Heeseung’s big hands gripped your ass like he owned it—because he did. His tie hung loose around his neck, collar undone, dark eyes fixed on you with reverence that was anything but holy.

“You have no idea,” he whispered, kissing up your neck, “how many times I thought about you today. About this fucking body. About this mouth. About these perfect tits I’m about to ruin.”

He nipped at your collarbone, voice cracking slightly. “My pretty little wife. Sitting here soft and warm while I was out there being polite to assholes. D’you know how hard it was not to come home early and fuck you stupid?”

You gasped as he yanked the shirt open, buttons scattering. “H-Heeseung—”

“Say it again.” His eyes darkened. “Say my name when I worship you.”

He licked a hot stripe down the valley of your breasts, hands pressing your tits to his face like he needed it to breathe. “God, I missed these. My mouth’s been dry all day and I knew—I knew—nothing would fix it but a taste of you.”

“God, look at you,” he growled, dragging his nose across your collarbone, breathing you in like a man starved. “Sitting here all soft and fuckable, like you don’t even know what that pretty little body does to me.”

You whimpered when he shoved the shirt off your shoulders completely. He leaned back slightly just to get a better view, then slapped your ass hard.

“You really let me come home to this?” His tone was half worship, half punishment. “No panties. No bra. Just that tiny shirt and your thighs spread like a goddamn invitation? You trying to break me?”

He leaned in, bit your nipple, then licked the sting with a filthy moan. “I had a partner breathing down my neck all day, talking shit I couldn’t care less about, and all I could fucking think about was bending you over my desk and making you cry on my cock.”

His fingers slipped between your legs, groaning as he felt how wet you were. “Fucking hell, baby… you’re soaking. So needy. You like it when I come home mad, huh?”

You moaned something incoherent, grinding down into his hand. He chuckled darkly.

“Of course you do. My perfect little cockdrunk wife. Say it... say who all this is for.”

“You, Hee—fuck, it’s yours. It’s all yours—”

“Damn right it is.” His fingers moved faster. “This pussy? Fuckin’ made for me. No one’s ever gonna know how filthy you are under this sweet face, huh? No one but me.”

He shoved two fingers deep inside, curling them just right while he sucked hard at the swell of your breast, and you almost screamed. “Shit—yes, yes, fuck!”

“Yeah, that’s right. Cum for me, baby. Right on my fingers. So when I finally fuck you.... when I split you open on this cock? you’ll be shaking.”

You gasped, trembling, and he kissed you hard, tongue filthy and demanding. “That’s it. I want this pretty cunt clenching around me all night. I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t even walk to the door tomorrow.”

He kissed down your chest, wet and messy, fingers still working you. “You don’t need sleep. You need to be filled. Stuffed full of my cum ‘til it leaks down your thighs. You want that, baby? Want my load dripping out of you while I fuck it back in?”

You nodded frantically, completely undone.

He grinned, slow and wicked, lips glistening. “Then get on your knees. And be a good girl for your husband... he’s had a long fuckin’ day.”

[kingstarkingslay]

Imagine if the Marauders started a Podcast

The episodes would be amazing:

"Why You Should Never Trust a Slytherin"

"How to Handle a Moody Marauder"

"The Remus Lupin Fan Club"

"A Sirius Talk About... Feelings"

"Marauder’s Map: The Places We Shouldn’t Have Been"

"The Secret Life of Animagi"

"How to Make a Big Deal Out of the Smallest Thing (Thanks, Sirius)"

"A History of Bad Decisions: The Marauders Edition"

"The One Where We Almost Got Caught (Again)"

"Potter’s Perfect Hair: A 12-Step Guide"

"The Marauder’s Guide to Losing Everything (Except Our Pride)"

"How to Get Detention with Style"

"Potions: Poisoning Our Teachers Since 1974"

"James Potter’s Quidditch Rants: A Legacy of Yelling"

"How We Got Away With It (Spoiler: We Didn’t)"

"Remus Lupin: The Marauder Who Actually Studied"

"Moonwater: A Platonic Love Story with Zero Emotional Skills"

"The Slytherin Conspiracy: Why Snape is Definitely Not Our Friend"

"Siriusly, Remus? I’m Right Here!"

"James Potter: Loveable Idiot or Just an Idiot?"

"Wolfstar: The Original ‘Will They, Won’t They’"

"Jegulus: The Enemies-to-Lovers Story You Never Knew You Needed"

"The Marauder’s Guide to Love: Romantic Advice from the Worst Experts"

"How to Suffer in Silence (Remus and Regulus Edition)"

"Marauder Pranks: The Ones We Didn’t Mean to Pull"

"The One Time Regulus Black Smiled and Everyone Panicked"

"How to Survive a Full Moon (With Minimal Blood Loss)"

"The Moonwater Chronicles: How to Have a Completely Inappropriate Conversation"

These are just to name a few, I can come up with more if you’d like ✨

[st7rnioioss]

INTRODUCING... BEST FRIEND!CHRIS x INEXPERIENCED!READER ۶ৎ

— a bsf!chris x inexperienced!reader moodboard

INEXPERIENCED!READER... who's been friends with chris since birth. your mom is best friends with chris's mom, and coincidentally enough, they both had kids at the same time. even though chris has three brothers, you always went to him, rather than anyone else—being neighbors was also a huge plus. if you got in a fight with your mom or dad, you bet chris is there to comfort you whenever you knock on his door.

INEXPERIENCED!READER... who always received snarky comments from girls throughout high school. they always put her down or asked if she was dating chris, some even going as far as bullying her, telling her she wasn't pretty enough for him—he is fairly attractive, there's no denying that. but what they didn't understand, is that you’re just friends... right?

INEXPERIENCED!READER... whos high school experience definitely affected her social life. she was always too shy to ask out any guys she found remotely attractive, and most of them assumed she was dating chris anyway from all the gossip anyway. and on top of that, she liked to keep her tight-knit friends close. whenever she wasn't hanging onto chris, it was matt. and if it wasn't matt, it was nick. and if it was neither of them, which it rarely was, it was her few girlfriends.

INEXPERIENCED!READER... who always avoids the talk of relationships, kissing, crushes- all that jazz. you’re aware chris has had a girlfriend once or twice, and you didn't mind at all. yet, sometimes you felt that pit in her stomach, almost aching to have that close of a relationship with someone that wasn't just best friends since birth. or was it really just jealousy you felt?

BEST FRIEND!CHRIS... who is best, best friends with you. sure, chris has his brothers, nate, and a few other friends, but he's always prioritizing you. and he didn't care that some of his friends thought he was your biggest admirer, always asking when he'd finally get to his senses and ask you out, when really that was his biggest struggle.

BEST FRIEND!CHRIS... who really is a lovestruck idiot. he's completely wrapped around your finger, always helping you out with literally anything, helping you stand up for yourself whenever someone gets too nosy in your friendship, always the first one to help you out with homework, though he barely got the hang of it.

BEST FRIEND!CHRIS... who didn’t stay with his girlfriend for too long. it could get a little messy at times when he wanted to hang out with you more and had to cancel a date. yes, he loved his girlfriend, but his sick and twisted mind always drifted toward you whenever she kissed him. how stupid of him to think that getting a girlfriend would get his mind off of you. in reality, he tried to fill that pit in his chest he felt whenever he knew that you guys weren't more than friends, which only turned out to ruin his relationship completely. that friday he stayed in your bed all weekend, which obviously was because he needed the comfort after a toxic breakup... right?

BEST FRIEND!CHRIS... who always kept his feelings for you a secret. he’d been so, so sure he would never tell you, too nervous that he’d scare you off and ruin your perfect friendship, and lose his best friend since diapers. instead, he just tried to act normal around you, though he was dying to just pull you in for a kiss.

MASTERLIST

۶ৎ when best friend!chris can’t keep his hands and mind off inexperienced!reader 𓂃 ֹ genre,,smut

۶ৎ inexperienced!reader giving bsf!chris head for the first time 𓂃 ֹ genre,,smut

۶ৎ bsf!chris guiding inexperienced!reader how to ride 𓂃 ֹ genre,,smut

۶ৎ bsf!chris being not-so-subtle when putting sunscreen on inexperienced!reader 𓂃 ֹ genre,,fluff + suggestive

۶ৎ bsf!chris teaching inexperienced!reader how to finger herself, but he can't seem to hold back 𓂃 ֹ genre,,smut

۶ৎ bsf!chris wanting inexperienced!reader to sit on his face 𓂃 ֹ genre,,smut

۶ৎ the types of videos bsf!chris sends inexperienced!reader 𓂃 ֹ genre,,smut

۶ৎ bsf!chris taking inexperienced!readers virginity 𓂃 ֹ genre,,fluffy smut

۶ৎ bsf!chris x girly!reader history/lore post 𓂃 ֹ genre,,fluff+very light angst

۶ৎ bsf!chris and inexperienced!reader's kinks 𓂃 ֹ genre,,smut

۶ৎ "all yours” - when inexperienced!reader is scared bsf!chris is cheating 𓂃 ֹ genre,,smut

۶ৎ bsf!chris helps inexperienced!reader out with the ache between her legs 𓂃 ֹ genre,,smut

۶ৎ inexperienced!reader cockwarms bsf!chris for the first time 𓂃 ֹ genre,,smut

𝜗𝜚˚࿔ notes: he's a little sick and twisted but ohhhh he's in love!!!!

۶ৎ taglist: @jetaimevous @missmimii @mattscoquette @pearlzier @witchofthehour @elizasturn @loveparqdise @delilahsturniolo @phone4pills @sturnsmia @hearts4werka @cayleeuhithinknott @strnilolover @sturnvxz @lovergirl4gracieabrams @ifwdominicfike @toftomgmf @emely9274 @sturnioloangell @blushsturns @forgottxen @slut4chris888 @marrykisskilled @sophand4n4 @sturnihoelooo @strnsvhx

© ST7RNIOIOSS est. 2023

[ozzgin]

Ahhh!!! I love monster streaming concept so much! If its not a problem for you can u share some hcs about it? Anything is fine to me tbh. Im really curious how their beloved monster watchers would react for y/n trying out different streaming videos (like gameplays etc idkkkk)

LizardKing5 would probably bully you every now and then. "You already died? Noob." He'll frequently suggest horror games, so he can tease you about being scared easily. He'll joke about your choices or gaming style. At the same time, he'll send you guides, buy you in-game items, and bark at anyone else who dares to critique your skills. Only he can do that.

User0385485: man, those are some piss poor skills LizardKing5: Shut your hole before I close it with my own fist, PUNK!!11 LizardKing5: Don't listen to this idiot, just focus on the tips I sent you yesterday.

SharkMan is completely clueless. He's not into gaming, as he considers himself way too old for that, but he supports you nonetheless. He'll watch all of your streams religiously and cheer on you, even when it makes no sense whatsoever. Additionally, he'll gift you ridiculously expensive and unnecessarily advanced computer parts and accessories. He doesn't know what you need, so he just buys whatever has the highest price for good measure.

SharkMan: Fantastic work, (Y/N). LizardKing5: What are you talking about, man? This dumbass scored last place every single round!!!

HornyMantis keeps suggesting adult games, or leaves out of pocket, deranged comments during your gameplays. He couldn't care less about what you're doing, as long as he can see your face (and boobs).

HornyMantis: wow nice shot HornyMantis: u know what would make this match even better HornyMantis: if u were shirtless

DefNotAStalker keeps to himself. He just quietly observes you play and never really comments. When you leave your desk, he sometimes updates the games for you, or changes some settings, or finishes a level you were struggling with. It leaves both you and your followers confused, wondering how you managed to skip over parts or beat a challenge you kept failing a moment ago.

Y/NSimp will support you in anything you want to do. He'll pretend he's knowledgeable about gaming, but in reality he's deplorably bad at it. Secretly jealous of SharkMan and LizardKing5 for hogging all the attention, either with gifts or with useful advice.

Y/NSimp: Heh...I actually beat this level in two minutes. Y/NSimp: I could give you some tips in private if you want, (Y/N). Not to brag, but I'm a bit of a pro haha Y/NSimp: Oh, I see you already ended the stream Y/NSimp: Hello??

[Monster Streaming] | [All Monster Series]

[obsesssedblerd]

HI BBY HRU MAKE SURE TO DRINK WATER TODAY AND GET A GOOD NIGHTS REST YOU DESERFE IT XOXO

if there’s too many asks going on feel free to skip over mine but I was thinking 5 + Nanami? Xoxo

prompt #5: “Your ex never got you off?” 

pairing: kento nanami x f! reader

[18+ content below, MDNI]

contains: smut, cunninglingus, vaginal fingering, reader receiving oral for the first time

wc: 2k

likes, reblogs and comments appreciated <3 

a/n: seven of you requested this pairing omg.

— — — — — — 

Kento Nanami stares at you incredulously, and it reminds you of the way he looks at Satoru Gojo and Yuuji Itadori whenever they say something that’s a bit more on the sillier side. You look away, but you feel his fingers angle your jaw so your eyes are meeting his honey brown ones once more. 

“Your ex… never got you off.” He repeats your words back to you slowly. 

“I know it sounds crazy, since we dated for a while, but yeah.” You laugh nervously. You bring the champagne glass to your lips, then tip your head back, allowing the chilly liquid to slide down your throat. “He tried, and it couldn’t work. He mentioned something about how some women just can’t cum, so we both assumed that it’s the case for me. I remember—” 

Kento puts a finger to your lips, and you stop talking. He’s still staring, but this time, you can see the calculating—the plotting in his eyes. “Respectfully,” he says, his voice low. “Your ex is an idiot. I’m confident that he hardly tried at all.” 

You raise an eyebrow, and you shift yourself in the couch cushions to sit straighter. “I don’t think he’s an idiot, he was just…” You sigh as you trail off, unable to find anything polite to say about your ex-boyfriend. It was impossible, since he cheated on you. “I don’t know. Anyway, he definitely tried. Numerous positions, but nothing. It’s just something I’m unable to do.” 

He finishes the rest of his champagne before placing the empty glass on the living room table. He props an arm up on the back of the couch, then uses it to support his head. He’s still staring, still thinking. With his glasses and tie off, and the first few buttons of his blue dress shirt undone, your coworker looks even more handsome in this comfortable state. 

Kento inhales, then releases his breath. Slowly, he unclasps the expensive watch from his wrist and looks down at it. He remains like that for about fifteen seconds before you ask him, “What are you doing?” 

“Going to test something.”

“Test something like…?” You urge him to finish. 

He gently places the watch on the table next to the empty glass, then offers to take your empty glass as well. He leans towards you, and your heart pounds when his hand delicately strokes your cheek. The faint scent of his cologne fills your nose. His face nears yours, your eyes flicker to his mouth before fluttering shut. 

“Do you trust me?” He whispers against your lips, and you nod once before you feel his lips on yours. The kiss is gentle at first, but after wanting him for so long, you immediately grow hungry for more. You find yourself climbing on top of his lap, and he guides you there without breaking the passionate kiss, his large hands settling comfortably on your hips. 

You sigh blissfully into his mouth, and you feel your body heat up. Your arms wrap around his neck, and you savor every second and every feeling that this moment brings you. Months of keeping each other safe on missions, soft stares as you trade students for training and quiet conversations over coffee in the breakroom before meetings have all led to this. 

When he gently breaks away from you, both of you are slightly out of breath. His gaze settles hungrily on your low-cut top, and his fingers skim the hem of it. “May I?” He asks quietly. 

“Yes.” 

Kento isn’t fast; no, after craving you for many months, he has zero desire to rush any of this. His thumb brushes against the skin underneath your shirt briefly, then he grasps the hem of it, and pulls upward until it’s completely off of you, leaving you in your bra. Suddenly shy, you look away. You don’t know why you’re nervous; you’ve had sex before. You know what happens during sex. 

However, you don’t know how Kento Nanami operates. His kisses alone tell you that he’s nothing like your ex-boyfriend in the bedroom. 

“Hey.” 

His voice pulls you out of your mind, and you look back at him. He gives you a dizzyingly charming smile, his cheeks slightly flushed from champagne and want. “You’re beautiful.” He brings you closer and pecks your lips a few more times, then moves to your neck. “I’d like to taste you,” he whispers, and your breath hitches as he kisses the delicate skin beneath your ear. “Is that alright?”

You swallow thickly, and you manage to find some of your words. “Taste? I-I’ve never- No one has ever done that.” 

Kento hums as he pulls away, the corner of his mouth slightly lifting. “Your ex never went down on you?” 

You gently shake your head, and he exhales. “Disappointing, but not surprising.” One of his fingers fidget with one of the belt loops on your jeans, seeking permission. When you grant it with a single nod, he whispers to you once more. “Lie back for me.” 

He waits for you to lay down on the couch, and then climbs above you, caging you between his strong arms. He kisses you again, then begins to move lower, allowing his lips to explore your body, goosebumps on your flesh as they do. He carefully pushes your bra upward, and your head spins slightly when you feel his mouth wrap around one of your nipples. Large hands cup your tits as he sucks, massaging and gently squeezing. You release a sound that is something between a moan and a sigh, and Kento loves it. 

He takes his time, sliding lower and lower until he’s finally on his knees before you, fingers unbuttoning your jeans and pulling them down your legs. Heat rises to your face, and you look towards the couch cushion, too shy to see his reaction when he finds out just how wet you are. You know that there’s a damp spot on your panties. Your knees are pushed apart, revealing the most sensitive part of you. His fingers hook your lacy panties, then peels them down your thighs and calves, leaving you bare for him. “God,” he murmurs, mostly to himself. You look down at him again, and arousal pools in your stomach at the utter hunger in his eyes. “You’re beautiful,” he sighs again, and you exhale shakily when he kisses a particularly sensitive part of your inner thigh. “So, so beautiful.” 

Over the next few minutes, you learn that Kento Nanami is a teaser. His lips are everywhere except your aching pussy, which you’re certain is dripping messily onto the couch. You’ve never felt this wet, so needy to the point you’re whining out his name, spreading your legs just a bit more for him. “Please,” you whisper. 

His thumb slides around the outer lips of your pussy, applying just enough pressure to tease your clit—where he knows you’re aching the most. So soft, he thinks to himself. Soft and very wet. There’s no way her ex is so stupid—so selfish that he’d pass up the opportunity to taste her. 

“Patience, sweetheart,” he quietly tells you, like a teacher softly instructing his student. “There’s no need to rush this. I promise, I’ll give you what you need.”

Once he’s certain that no parts of your delicate thighs are unkissed, his lips inch towards your core. His tongue licks slow, vertical stripes. “Ohhhhh,” you gasp, every thought draining from your mind as your head falls back against the cushions. “Oh, my g-god, Kento…” He’d just begun, but you easily decide that his firm tongue against your pussy is the most incredible thing you’ve ever felt in your life. 

Kento releases a deep groan, obsessed with the way you taste and the sounds you make. His tongue expertly swipes across your folds, teasing you for just a little while longer before he finally gives your clit some attention. You jolt when you feel his lips wrap around your clit and suck a few times, and his hands firmly hold your thighs open so you don’t squirm away from him. 

“You can grab my hair if you need to,” he says when he notices your hands palming at the couch cushions. Once your hands grasp his blonde strands, Kento goes back to eating your pussy like a man starved. Your moans are far louder now, any nervousness you felt earlier now completely faded away. You buck your hips when he slides two fingers into your sopping wet core, his tongue still rolling against your clit. 

When he sees how your breath is beginning to shorten, how your abdomen gently clenches and how your thighs twitch, he pulls away for a moment to look up at you. “Where my thumb is now,” he starts, using a thumb to rub your swollen clit, “did he spend enough time touching here until you’re trembling like this?” 

You meet his eyes, then shake your head. “No.” 

“Then he didn’t try.”

Inside of your pussy, his fingers curl upward and you nearly shriek when he begins to massage a weak spot within you, pleasure zipping through you with every movement. “And here?” He asks you again, his fingers unrelenting. “Did he ever find this spot of yours and touch it the way I am now? Even when he fucked you?” 

When you struggle to answer, he adds a bit more pressure, and your back arches off of the cushion. “Ahh! N-No, he didn’t!” 

“Then he didn’t try.” He reiterates a bit sharper. “Still believe he’s not an idiot?” 

You shake your head, and his rough palms spread you open a bit wider. “I want you to relax for me. When you feel it, and you’ll know what it feels like, don’t tense up. Breathe through it,” he tells you, the bass in his voice vibrating against your thigh before he tenderly kisses it.

You nod, and his mouth is on you once more, licking, sucking, devouring you. His fingers continuously stroke that weak spot, and the combination has you breathing hard. Your hands grip his hair tighter, and you buck your hips against his face, instinctively chasing something you’ve never had before—a release of the pressure building in your body.

Nearly there, Kento thinks to himself. 

You gasp and attempt to slither away, suddenly nervous about the intensity about the impending orgasm, but he grips you tight to keep you still. “Oh my goddd,” you whine, and he feels you begin to tighten on his fingers.

That’s it. 

Your eyes squeeze shut, and you try to do what he told you earlier and focus on your breathing. “Oh god, oh god, oh god, K-Kento…!” You cry out his name in warning, and he hums against your clit, encouraging you. 

Cum for me. 

When you climax, you feel like you drown in pleasure. You sob in relief as you grind against Kento’s face, and he licks and fingerfucks you all the way through it, savoring the sweetness of the juices that flow from your pussy. Once you’re finished and your body relaxes, he lifts his head from between your legs, his chin glistening with the evidence of your orgasm. 

He reaches for his watch that he placed on the table, his eyes glimmering with approval as he checks the time. “Twenty-two minutes.” 

“H-Huh?” You ask, trying to focus even though your mind still spins. 

“From the first time I kissed you until now, it took twenty-two minutes to make you cum,” he says, leaning forward to place a kiss on your navel. “Your ex spent so much time in your presence and in your bed, but he couldn’t put aside twenty-two minutes to make you feel good. Truly a selfish idiot. As you can see, you can orgasm,” he says quietly, then brings himself back up to you, your faces nearly touching. “You just needed a competent partner.” 

He kisses you again, and you moan as you taste yourself on his lips. Your hands begin fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, eager to have and feel more of him. “Want more,” you sigh in between kisses. “Want you.” 

“Good,” Kento smiles as he assists you in unbuttoning his shirt. “Because I’m dying to see how fast I can get you to cum on my cock.” 

[mywritersmind]

THE BOOTH - LN4

summary : The booth. A notorious club in the heart of london, where y/n and lando met again after two years of silence.

listen up : fewtrell!reader. She sits in his lap. no smut, just hot and suggestive. creepy guy in the beginning! Prob my fav short i’ve written omg

word count : 1732

⋆｡‧˚⋆

“No.” I giggle out of uncomfortableness at the man getting closer to me.

“C’mon, let me buy you a drink.” the man reeks of alcohol and has fucked up teeth. I’ve seen enough. I pull down the bottom of my mini dress as I stand.

“No.” I repeat, pushing past him. The club is crowded and sticky, I see my friends but a hand around my wrist pulls me back.

“Really? Too good for me?” He scoffs in my face but the next thing I know he’s being pushed away from me.

“She is.” The voice comes from the man in front of me, the guy who pushed this dickhead away. “Piss off. She’s with me.”

The guy seems intimidated enough because he gives me a dirty look and leaves. “Thank y-” I pause when the man turns around.

I pause because the man is my childhood crush, brothers best friend, and fucking formula one driver.

“Lando?” I’m genuinely shocked that the britt I haven’t seen in two years is standing in front of me.

“Y/n!?” He looks me up and down, his mouth open, “Fuck… You look good.” I could say the same for him, in a navy button down, jeans, and his jewelry adorning his hands. He’s ridiculously hot.

I laugh, “Careful Lan, my brother could be lurking.” I switch my weight onto one leg as he smirks.

Max loves Lando. Max loves me.

Therefore, Max HATED the thought of us even speaking. We were all friends in childhood but our teens hit and suddenly I was completely off limits. I’m pretty sure he noticed how much I asked about Lando and swore that he would kill both of us if anything happened.

Someone walks behind him, causing him to get closer, his hand brushing against my hip, “Don’t scare me, yeah?”

I bite my lip at the thought, we start walking across the room, Lando’s hand firmly on me now as he ‘guides’ me. “Don’t worry. Idiots in Monaco… which means we have free rein.”

I see his jaw clench, his drink slide onto his lips again, “I’d like to keep my friendship.”

“I’d like to lose my panties.” I’m quick to reply, messing with Lando used to be my favorite thing.

You see, Lando is Max’s best friend. He feels bad lying and this would definitely be considered a betrayal of trust.

But for me… Max is my brother. I can lie and do whatever I want with no remorse. Lando is something I could do easily and as much as it would make me happy to piss off my brother, Norris has always been that one guy in the back of my mind.

“Christ Y/n. Missed your remarks.” We make it to the wall, it’s a bit quieter over here.

“You mean you missed my flirting?” I look up at him, he just bites his lip, hiding his smile.

“I missed you.” He surprises me with this.

“I missed you too.” I push my hand through my hair, “How’ve you been?”

“Good. Really good.” He smiles big and I know it’s because of his racing.

“Watched your win in Zandvoort.” I sigh, “Simply lovely was brutal.” He rolls his eyes, laughing and leaning his head back on the wall.

“Not you too!”

“It was hilarious! I liked it!” I hit his arm and the way he looks at me… it’s like every emotion that I've tucked away and only opened up in the darkness of my bedroom after midnight, comes out then. “I like this too.”

My hand goes to the back of his neck, playing with his curls that shape his baby mullet.

“Don’t do that.” He shakes his head, his eyes cut into me, his voice weak.

“What?” I say innocently.

“You always do this.”

“Do what, Norris?” Lando never was that much taller than me, but something about the two passed years has changed that.

His tongue runs over his teeth, he’s about to say something but two guys appear next to us, “Mate! We’ve been looking for you!” Another British man speaks, Alex Albon to be exact.

“Found a friend?” Carlos sainz eyes me, dressed in all black.

I smile at the drivers, Lando eyes Carlos. “Max’s sister. Y/n.” They both nod and look much too interested in how Lando says it, “Y/n… this is Alex and Carlos.”

“Pleasure.” I smile wide. I am an F1 fan, it’s a bit weird seeing Lando on the grid but I’ll sit and watch with Max almost every weekend that we’re together.

“Pleasures all ours! I’ve always wanted to meet Lando’s childhood crush!” Lando hits Carlos, making him grab his stomach, “Worth it!” The Spanish man chokes out.

Lando scratches the back of his neck, not looking at me. “Are you here with anyone?” Alex asks me, I knew he would be nice.

“Yeah! I’m not sure where they are but…”

“That’s okay. You have us now!” Alex and I end up getting a drink, Lando stays back with Carlos who’s definitely teasing him.

I get a vodka lemonade and four shots. Alex and I are already best friends and laughing so hard that Carlos and Lando won’t stop asking us what’s so funny.

They don’t know that I showed Alex a photo of Lando and I as smurfs when we were five.

⋆｡‧˚⋆

LANDO NORRIS

Describing Y/n is something i’ve done many times. To friends, for context in stories, but if i’d really describe her… I don’t think I would have an ending point.

She’s got long blonde hair. She cut it all off when she was fifteen and I almost fainted when I didn’t recognize her. She loved it.

She’s confident, you can see it in her walk. Her hips sway and the click of her heels is something I'll never forget.

When she talks to you, all attention is on you, her eyes are hazel, appearing brown in the dark but if you get close enough… you’ll see the green.

She never quite had an awkward stage, always been beautiful, probably always will be. I haven’t seen her in years yet she acts like I talked to her yesterday.

Y/n sucks on a lime after her shot, smiling and clapping her hands together, “God, I feel like i’m in highschool!”

I obviously didn’t go to school with her. She’s a year younger and Max would non stop complain about her. She was more popular than him, going out, and was basically friends with everyone.

I remind myself again that Max is the reason why my arm is around the couch and not her waist.

⋆｡‧˚⋆

Y/N

“Norris!” I stand, holding out my hand, “Picture time.” I smile as he stands with me.

“What?” Carlos asks.

“Called the booth for a reason, Sainz!” I grin at the boys, gripping Lando’s hand tight and maneuvering us through the crowd.

There’s one photo booth in the back corner of the club. It’s notorious for famous photos and making everyone look good.

I look back at the boys who all look confused. All except Lando.

We came to the booth when Lando was in town from F2, we were 17 and 18. Max had gone off with some girl and we found ourselves in this exact booth.

We swore never to talk about it.

But I’m all for repeating history.

“Fewtrell…” He warns in my ear as we walk to the starred booth.

I glance back, dragging out his name, “Norris.”

He gets in first, unlike us as teens, only one person can fit. I smile and watch Lando’s face drop, I sit down on his lap, “Playing with fire here, love.” he says in my ear.

“I don’t mind getting burned.” He slips two coins in, his hand moving to my waist and holding me steady.

We smile first.

SNAP

I move a bit and give him bunny ears.

SNAP

Lando clears his throat, gripping my skin tighter as he looks at me. I move again, my skirt riding up a bit. “Trying to kill me?”

I smile and kiss his cheek, feeling something hard against me.

SNAP

“Of course.” I look at him, “The memories in here… You remember?”

“I’d be an idiot to forget.”

His hand moves down my hip, closer to my thigh. I look at him again as the photo booth starts up for the second time, “I shouldn’t.” He whispers, my face centimeters from his. I hear the whistles outside.

I shift once more, turning more to him. He groans, his head falling backwards and his eyes closing, “Give me a good reason.”

SNAP

He opens his eyes, meeting mine. I know I've got him. My hand rests on his neck, my rings pressing against his skin. He mumbles something but it’s too loud, “Speak up, Norris.”

“Never spoken.” His eyes flick to my lips, trying to get me to promise this is a secret.

“Never ever.” He leans in closer.

SNAP

“Come on rule breaker… I believe in you.” I whisper in his ear and it breaks him. I’m pulling his head closer to me, his lips on mine, a relief like no other.

He grabs ass, pulling me closer in the tiny space. I slip my tongue in his mouth, whimpering a bit. He bites my lip. I’m melting into him. It’s hot and needy but so much more than I could have ever wanted.

SNAP

Kissing Lando at Seventeen was scandalous and drunken. Kissing Lando at Twenty Three flat out sexy.

“Need you…” He whispers into the kiss which makes me almost come undone right then and there.

Someone bangs on the booth, “Alright Lovebirds!” Lando laughs but I'm the one to pull away.

“I can’t leave this booth.” He says quickly, his face red and sweaty.

“You’ll be fine-” I understand what he’s talking about when I go to leave and something brushes against my leg, “Oh.”

He looks away from me, blushing.

I smile, proud of myself for the boner and his pink cheeks, “Aw come on! I’ll cover you.” I wink and he rolls his eyes, He walks out behind me, his arms firmly on my waist again.

The two drivers grin at us, “You covering a boner?” Carlos starts but gets punched for the second time tonight by Lando. He holds his stomach again, “Still worth it!”

[ponderingmoonlight]

Sooo what if Dante falls in love with Enzo’s pretty little niece who’s in town for a visit or for work? Like they have a little meet-cute when Enzo asks her to run an errand for him and instead runs into Dante? (Love your stuff!!🩵)

How to pick up a package, almost die and accidentally get a hot boyfriend: A beginner’s guide

Pairing: Dante x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,9k

Synopsis: All you had to do was pick up a package. Simple, right? Instead, you faceplant into a silver-haired menace, survive a monster attack and somehow leave with a date. Family errands have never been this dangerous - or this attractive.

Warnings: Dante isn't as flirty in this one (but still hilarious no worries), reader is a normal chick in this fic for once, apart from the usual, nothing to fear lol

My Dante request are still open so HIT ME UP

Enzo doesn’t give you much to go on.

"Pick up a package from Vito’s," he practically orders, short and impatient.

"Tell him it’s for me. In and out. No big deal. And don’t talk to anyone except Vito, got it?"

You don't even hesitate. You’re just visiting for a few weeks before returning back home - a favour for family sounds easy enough and never hurt nobody. After all, Enzo is your favourite uncle. Well, to be specific, he’s your only uncle. But still your favourite.

You dart around the area he described to you with no real aim. What are you even looking for? A supermarket, a gun shop? Given Enzo’s shady business, nothing is impossible.

After what feels like an eternity, you finally spot it. The shop's tucked between two boarded-up buildings, the neon sign crackling like it’s one cough away from dying. You hesitate only a second before pushing inside. Oh, hopefully this doesn’t mean trouble. Your uncle wouldn’t send you straight into danger after all…

Right?

The bell overhead gives a tired rattle.

And before you’re really able to focus on anything inside, you slam into him.

Tall, solid, wild white hair falling into light, piercing eyes. Blue? Silver? You can’t tell, and honestly, you’re too busy trying to remember how to breathe.

"Easy, princess," he drawls, a rough little laugh curling out of him as he catches your elbow before you hit the ground.

You flush, muttering something like an apology. No, no, no. As if running someone over isn’t worse enough, why does he have to be this handsome?

He doesn’t let go right away, his touch lingering around your arm just a few seconds to long.

His gaze slides down you. Not rude, not predatory, just… curious. Focused. Like he’s cataloging you, every detail.

You pull yourself together enough to finally speak up, force your body to finally cooperate again.

"I’m just picking something up. For my uncle. Enzo. Are you Vito, by any chance?"

You idiot. As if some random guy in a shop named Vito’s would know your uncle. As if this man looks like someone named Vito.

And yet, his expression shifts the second you say the name. Subtle. You wouldn’t catch it if you weren’t still embarrassingly focused on him.

"Enzo, huh," he comments, voice dipping a little lower.

"Didn’t know he had family. Why did he send someone like you here?"

You shrug awkward, caught completely off-guard again. Why on earth does your uncle know men like him? And why are you still single if he does?

"Just visiting. I’m not, uh… part of anything."

You mean business. You mean the shady stuff you know Enzo keeps quiet about. Not that you know what it is, exactly. To be honest, you really don’t want to. But

He smiles at your clumsy words - slow, almost dangerous. Like he knows exactly how little you actually know, like he knows all too well what “anything” means.

What a cute little thing you are.

"Yeah," he murmurs, his thumb brushing absently against the crook of your elbow before he finally lets go.

"You don't look like you are."

The way he says it sends a shiver down your spine. You can’t tell if it’s a warning or a compliment. Maybe both. Or maybe nothing at all.

You clear your throat, trying to shake it off. Focus. You aren’t 12 anymore, that guy isn’t Gojo Satoru. Talking to handsome guys might not be your daily business, but to get this flustered by it is still embarrassing.

"So, uh… you work here?"

The laugh that bursts out of him is genuine, rough and amused.

"Hell no," he replies casually.

"Just passing through. Like you. What’s your name, by the way?"

“(y/n). And…yours?”

“Huh, nice to meet ya. It’s Dante for you.”

You nod, fiddling nervously with the strap of your bag. Dante…not a name you’ve heard that often until now. Does it suit him? You eye him up and down as subtle as possible, catch a glimpse of his tones upper body and wild eyes. Oh, it definitely does.

 "Right. Cool. Well. I’ll just-"

Before you can finish, a low, almost vibrating sound rumbles through the shop.

Your heart drops to the floor.

Not a machine.

Something alive.

The easy-going tilt of Dante's body sharpens instantly. His hand is already moving toward the weapon slung across his back you haven’t even noticed before you have the chance to realize something's wrong.

"Get behind me," he mutters, stepping between you and the shadows gathering near the back wall.

"Wait, what-?"

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck. That sounds exactly like the shady business, like you should have never been here in the first place. What are you supposed to do? Run? Hide? Stay behind Dante? Get away from him as far as possible? Your mind races back and forth, stiff body not able to move a single inch.

And then they lurch into the light, creatures that should not exist, and the room explodes into chaos.

You barely manage to scramble behind a rack of rusted car parts as Dante moves.

He fights like a storm. Fast, wild, beautiful in a way that’s terrifying. His sword sings through the air, cutting down the creatures one by one.

You can't look away. Not from the monsters. Not from him.

When the last body hits the floor within what feels like the blink of an eye, smoking and twitching, he straightens, breathing steady like he just finished a jog, not a slaughter.

What.

The.

Hell.

He turns, catching you staring.

"You okay, sweetheart?" he questions, and this time the nickname lands softer, even gentle, as if he didn’t go berserk a few seconds ago.

You nod, because your voice is lost somewhere back by the register, back where you came from.

Dante crosses the ruined shop in a few strides, reaching out his hand again. This time, when you take it, your fingers curl instinctively into his, shaking by the aftermath of what just happened.

You didn’t even register what was going on. That creatures just destroyed the shop and that stranger, that handsome stranger named Dante, slaughtered them like a turkey at Thanksgiving. What on earth was that?

"C'mon," he urges, voice low and rough with something you can't name while softly pushing you back onto your wobbly feet.

"Let's get you outta here."

The walk back is quieter, but not awkward. Well, at least not as awkward as it should be, given the scene from earlier. Every few steps, Dante’s hand brushes against yours like he’s checking you’re still there.

You sneak glances at him, trying to fit the man you just met with the man who just tore monsters apart like it was nothing.

"You’re... not exactly normal, are you?" you ask finally.

He huffs a laugh.

"Depends who you ask."

"And those things-?"

"Pests," he explains briefly, smirking sideways at you.

"Wrong place, wrong time."

You squint your eyes while tilting your head. Pests, seriously?

"Pests don’t usually have that many teeth."

He chuckles again, slow and warm, and without thinking about it, he slings his arm around your shoulders.

You freeze for half a second. This came so sudden, so out of the blue that you can’t help but shamelessly stare at him with big eyes. After all the things you just saw, after it is more than clear that this man isn’t just a friendly neighbour from next door while you’re nothing but an ordinary woman, he still cares about you?' At the moment, none of this matters. Before you can convince yourself otherwise, you lean into him, because it feels weirdly natural. Like you fit there. Like this is somehow where you belong. Like this is where you should be.

It has to be the white hair. It’s always the white hair.

By the time you reach Enzo’s assaulted front step, you're tucked snug against Dante’s side, his hand draped lazily along your jacket as you still hold onto him for what feels like dear life. Getting comforted by a handsome stranger after almost dying definitely wasn’t on your bingo card for today. That doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy it, though.

He rings the bell with a cocky little smile.

“That’s gonna be fun.”

When Enzo opens the door, he stops cold, taking in the two of you - your bright, nervous smile, Dante’s possessive arm, the wrecked look in your eyes that says you’ve seen way more than you were supposed to.

Dante grins lazily. "Special delivery," he announces proudly.

Enzo’s eyes narrow like a threat he’s definitely going to make, taking a step back before inspecting your body carefully.

“Did you get hurt?”

“No, but if it wasn’t for Dante, I might be death by now. I owe him my life.”

“The only thing you owe me is a date, sweetheart. Can you believe I met your niece? You never told me you have one!”

Uncle Enzo doesn’t answer. The second you disappear inside - still shaken, still clueless - Enzo grabs Dante by the arm and drags him onto the porch.

"You’re outta your damn mind," Enzo hisses, voice low but furious.

"She’s not part of this world."

Dante smirks, unbothered, dragging a toothpick from his pocket and slipping it between his teeth.

"Yeah?" he says lazily.

"Seems like the world found her anyway. And by world, I include myself too. What a cute little thing she is. Never thought your relatives could look like…this."

Enzo steps closer, jabbing a finger into Dante’s chest.

"Stay away from her. She's not built for this. She’s not-"

He cuts off, running a hand through his thinning hair, suddenly looking a hell of a lot older.

"She’s just a kid, Dante. A good one. Innocent. Don’t ruin her."

Dante’s face shifts.

For a second, just a second, the mask cracks - and you see something fierce and guilty flicker in his pale eyes.

He bites down on the toothpick harder.

"I know," he mutters, voice low.

And because you’re standing just inside the door, because you heard the whole damn thing,  you press your back to the wall, heart pounding, not sure whether you want to run away from him...

...or straight toward him.

The door creaks under your weight, giving you away with a loud squeak.

Dante's head snaps toward the sound, a slow grin spreading across his mouth like a sunrise. Enzo groans like a man being personally victimized by the universe.

"Shit," you blurt, caught red-handed even though you try desperately to escape last-minute.

"Well, well," Dante drawls, stepping back inside like he owns the place, that cocky swagger back in full force.

"How much of that did you hear, princess?"

You lift your chin defiantly, cheeks burning.

"Enough to know you called me cute."

Dante winks, completely unrepentant.

"That I did. You gonna sue me, sweetheart?"

You open your mouth – and absolutely nothing comes out except an embarrassing, flustered squeak.

Enzo watches the two of you like he’s witnessing a car crash in slow motion.

"I swear to God," he mutters under his breath, rubbing his temples like he can already feel the headache brewing, "if you two idiots start dating, I’m moving to Alaska."

"I like Alaska," you comment brightly, before your brain catches up with your mouth.

Dante snorts, delighted.

"See? She’s got good taste. First me, now Alaska."

"That’s it. I’m getting the shotgun," Enzo grumbles, stomping toward the kitchen.

You and Dante just grin at each other like you're already plotting how to make everything worse.

“Dinner tonight, sweetheart?”

“I…I’d love to!”