#Danny is protective over the green bean

[piedpiperart]

Part eleven of Ghost hero!

Part ten

Update coming soon…

[bewitched-forest]

Danny & Billy - Brothers in Too Much Power

For @gummybearstastelikesadness

Summary: Danny Fenton and Billy Batson were a pair of homeless, secretly super power minors trying to navigate life. Danny Fenton takes on the role of Billy's older brother, and the two spend a pleasant breakfast together. Until they are rudely interrupted by Billy's Justice League communicator popping off. Billy Batson, now taking on the form of Captain Marvel, goes to handle the disturbance, until realizing it was Skulker, ghost hunter extraordinaire. Billy taps out, letting Danny Phantom take over.

[Ao3: link]

Danny shifts, eyes fluttering open before he squeezes them closed with a groan. Despite it being winter, the morning is bright with the sun reflecting against the snow. He shifts, blinking his eyes open when he notices the head tucked into his shoulder. With blurry eyes, he looks down at the mop of hair just below his head. It takes him a moment, the phantoms of sleep playing their tricks before he realizes that it's Billy.

 The two boys had met, well, almost a year ago now. Danny had gone on the run, his coronation as King of the Infinite Realms making him a much more sought-after ghost, by his parents and strangers alike. Billy had been homeless for a couple of years, bouncing around Fawcett City’s back alleys long before he became Captain Marvel. The two had met when Danny broke into an abandoned home, one Billy had also been using to stay. The strained situation when they had run into each other broke when Danny accidentally slipped a pun, causing Billy to laugh. The two had ended up becoming something of a family, Billy regarding Danny as an older brother and Danny seeing Billy as a younger one in kind.

 Danny shifted again, adjusting Billy still asleep behind him before scanning the room. The room in question was very run down. Half the roof had long since been gone, causing the only part free of snow to be the corner Danny and Billy had tucked themselves into. Thankfully, everything seemed untouched. 

 He heard a soft crackle, pulling his attention to look up. Danny sighed at the sight of the Crown of Fire floating softly above him. It must’ve manifested in their sleep, providing warmth on the freezing winter night. Danny takes a deep breath, forcing the crown away to wherever it went. Billy shifted against Danny, opening his eyes slowly and looking up. Danny looked back down, smiling softly.

 “Morning Danny,” says Billy as he pulls away, rubbing his eyes.

 “Morning Billy,” Danny replies, groaning softly as he stretches.

 Billy shifts, reaching for the backpacks. He pulls them closer, passing the black one to Danny while he opens his red one. Danny takes the bag, tugs open the zipper and reaches in. He pulls out a couple of cans of food, ranging from corn to green beans to regular brown beans.

Billy looks over, grabbing one of the cans. “Hey. What kind of vegetable is jealous?”

 Danny looks over with a grin, squinting at Billy. “I dunno, what?”

 Billy turns the can, showing the label to Danny. “Green beans!”

 Danny snorts, before breaking down into laughter. He grabs the rest of the cans, packing them away. Billy laughs, setting the can of green beans next to its double before digging into his bag. He pulls out a bag of frozen beef jerky, offering it to Danny once he starts calming.

 Danny grabs it, setting it down before summoning the Crown of Fire again. He reaches up, grabs it with both hands, and sets it on the ground. Or, well, setting it to hover just over the ground. Billy grabs the cans, holding them over the crown as he mutters under his breath, pulling on stamina of Atlas to protect him from the heat. Danny smiles, grabbing the jerky and holding it over the crown as well. The two shift closer, leaning against each other as they wait for the crown to warm their breakfast for the day.

 Danny sighs, plopping his head on top of Billy’s. “We should probably move today. We’ve been in this house for almost a week now.”

 Billy nods. “Yeah. Probably should have an actual roof, too.”

 Danny snorts. “Definitely.” 

 Danny pulls the jerky away from the crown, pulling it open. Billy smiles, settings down the cans as he grabs some jerky. The two go on to eat their breakfast peacefully, Danny sending away the crown.

 As Danny gets up to throw away the cans, an alarm sounds. Billy jumps, reaching into his bag and pulling out a communicator. He looks up at Danny before tapping it, the screen lighting up to show the Justice League logo.

 “Captain Marvel, 1-5,” Billy says. Danny crouches down next to him, looking at the screen.

 “Captain Marvel, 1-5. Access granted,” sounds a female voice, before the screen changes.

 “What's up, Billy?”

 “There’s apparently an unidentified disturbance here in Fawcett City. Since I’m closest and available, they’re asking me to check it out.”

 “Alright then.” Danny stands, grabbing the bag of cans and swinging it around his shoulders. “Guess we ought to get going then.”

 Billy stands up, grabs the other backpack, and offers it to Danny. “You’re coming?”

 “Just to watch. I want to make sure you’re okay, tiny.” Danny grins, taking the other bag.

 Billy squints. “Shazam!” he shouts. Lightning strikes down, and in his place stands Captain Marvel. “I’m not tiny now,” he states, puffing out his chest.

 Danny laughs, floating off the ground to put them both face to face. “You’ll always be tiny to me.”

 Captain Marvel just sighs as he lifts off, following his communicator. Danny shifts to be invisible before following.

 } ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ {

 When Captain Marvel arrives on the scene, he tilts his head. In front of him is a man of metal, with a silver mohawk. He has several guns, from a bazooka to a machine gun. And the man is glowing. Brightly.

 Danny groans beside his younger brother. “This one’s one of mine.”

 Marvel blinks, looking over to where Danny’s voice came from. “One of yours?”

��“Yeah… Remember how I told you I was a hero once too? This bastard is one of the ghosts I fought. Name’s Skulker. And he wants my pelt. I’ll deal with him.”

 “I’m sorry he wants your what?!” Captain Marvel asks as he floats down to one of the rooftops, looking scandalized at his brother once Danny shows himself.

 “Yeah, it's nothing. I’ll tell you later.” Danny slips off the backpacks, handing them to Captain Marvel before he shifts, white wings expanding to replace the human boy.

 “O-okay. Shazam!” Marvel shouts after he drops the bags, turning back into Billy. He watches as Phantom lifts off, flying towards the metal man and punching him. 

 “Ah! Brat! I have found you at last!” shouts Skulker, aiming the machine gun at Phantom.

 “Can it, Skulker!” Phantom says, grabbing Skulker and slamming him into the ground. Billy races to the edge of the building, looking over to continue watching his brother fight.

 Skulker was definitely outmatched by Phantom. Phantom had him pinned down, and was actively tearing apart the various weapons he had. Billy watched with wide eyes, jaw-dropping as Phantom ripped off the head. Phantom shakes the head, a small lump of green tumbling out. Billy watches as his older brother grabs the thermos on his belt, sucking up the entire mech suit and blob before capping it again.

 Phantom looks up and around before spotting Billy on the roof. He lifts off, turning invisible before looping back around and settling down by Billy. He shifts back to human after letting go of the invisibility, clearing his throat.

 Billy whirls around, barely hesitating to slam into Danny with a hug. A little cheating with flight is probably the only reason Danny didn’t hit the floor.

 “Oof-” Danny mutters, returning the hug.

 “That was awesome!” Billy yells as he leans back, staring at Danny with a face full of admiration. “You must’ve been such a good hero before! That was so cool to watch! You just slammed into the ground and then bam, pow, crunch he was done for!”

 Danny chuckles as he steps back, Billy taking the opportunity to practically bounce around. “Yeah. I guess.”

 Billy pauses, looking back at Danny. “Why did you stop? Being a hero and all? You’re really good at it.”

 Danny sighed, looking away. “I got crowned king. When I became the King of the Infinite Realms, all of the sudden the ghost hunters and magic users started hunting me down even more. I spent most of my battles trying to save my own skin rather than actually keeping the peace.”

 Billy frowns, walking over and hugging Danny again. “I mean we have each other now. We could become a team! Then I could keep away the hunters, and you could be a hero again!”

 Danny looks down at Billy, blinking in shock before hugging Billy back with a smile. “Ah- Maybe. It wouldn’t be easy. Ghosts aren’t exactly recognized as citizens.”

 Billy grins. “Well, that seems like an injustice to me. And lucky for you!” Billy steps back, puffing out his chest and pointing at it with his thumb,” I’m a member of the Justice League! And we specialize in fighting injustice!”

 Danny chuckles, ruffling Billy’s hair. “Okay. Let’s talk about this later. We definitely need to head off.”

 Billy smiles, nodding. “Alright.” He grabs his backpack, throwing it on as Danny does the same. Then he grabs Danny’s hand, interlacing his fingers.

 Danny smiles before turning them both invisible. He walks over to the edge of the roof, lifting off into the air. The two fly off, set about continuing their day.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Oh okay well Danny tells Ryan that they’re “going to talk in the morning” at the end of the Was it good? peice and I would like to see that. Maybe Danny telling Ryan some of the things that happened to Nate and making him super uncomfortable? Idk I like Danny protecting Nate it’s interesting

CW: Referenced past torture and pet whump, referenced alcohol use, brief reference to dissoci@tion

Follows on Was It Good?, takes place the next morning

Ryan wakes up with maybe the third serious hangover he's ever had to find a glass of water and a couple Tylenol on the side table next to the bed.

His hip hurts, a strange tight ache over his old tattoo, and he feels like his mouth is full of cotton and his head has been used as a bowling ball. Fuck. He never gets hangovers - it's the family blood, Dad says, with a hint of his brogue and a slight smile. Just how the Michaelsons are.

Their liquor doesn't touch us the same, Patrick had said when Ryan asked, tipping a glass to him, eyebrow raised. That's why I import the liquor my own people once made.

It had made perfect sense at the time. Now, though... what people? The Michaelsons have all left Ireland. They're all here now.

In any case, it'd been his dad's shit he'd been drinking last night, and too much of it. The world's faint queasy spin tells him that, even if last night is still a mess of nonsense impressions slowly coalescing back together.

He takes the pills and drinks the water after, ignores the uneasy twist of his stomach, and pulls on a t-shirt, soft as second skin, and wanders out in that and his boxers.

Danny is up before dawn, every day, and today is no exception. His brother is sitting at the kitchen table, coffee in hand, staring out the window over the kitchen sink at the fading depth of night, finally giving way to pinkish sunrise.

When Ryan enters, those wide blue eyes move immediately to him. They are not soft, or sad, or lost - they are precisely focused, and the skin under the red of his scars is pale, nearly colorless under a smattering of freckles. Both of them pretend Danny's whole body doesn't still twitch with a need to slip to his knees on the floor as soon as someone enters. "You took, um, the pills?"

His voice is soft. And still Ryan feels unsettled, something between uncertainty and guilt. "I did, yeah." He moves to pour himself a cup of coffee, the peppermint mocha creamer he'd bought changing dark brown to silky tan. Not that you need much, with Danny's coffee.

Ryan could half believe in magic, really, just from seeing how Danny didn't seem to do anything different but his coffee is still always the best.

Danny's eyes are still on his back. He can feel the weight of them, settled there. His brother, who flinches and murmurs to himself and looks at anything but whoever is talking to him... staring. Directly.

He turns slowly around, and as he does the memory of his brother's voice slips in from the night before. Strong, and even. Angry. I want to talk about this in the morning. A Danny he'd thought had died up in Canada, resurrected, reborn to defend...

Ryan's stomach drops as the whole night, fuzzy but mostly there, slots into place. "Oh, fuck," He whispers.

Fingers around Nate Vandrum's neck, closing tightly, Nate's green eyes wide and lost in terror, calling him... what?

Pl-please, Ashley, please-

Danny snorts, glancing away from him and then back again. His hands are closed around his coffee mug so hard his knuckles are white under the scars there, too. "Not too, um, blackout drunk, then," Danny says. There's a wry sarcasm there, something so familiar and so lost to Ryan that it hurts to hear now.

This is how his brother sounds, a little irritated, cynical. Not weak and soft and pliable, bending to suit whatever he thinks he has to be to stay safe. This is the brother Ryan has lost, not quite resurrected maybe, but maybe opening his eyes beside the open grave.

He's somewhere between, Ryan thinks, between the angry, dancing boy who disappeared and the broken, frightened man Ryan brought back home. He's holding himself together like this, so carefully, fighting so hard not to slip away.

Ryan sits slowly down at the other end of the table and tells himself to have the courage to meet his brother's eyes.

He manages - barely.

"No, I... I remember."

"Good." Danny slowly lifts the mug to his lips, sips, sets it down again. Like he's acting out a routine of normal, each move robotic and tightly controlled. "You can't... be cruel to him, Ryan. Like that."

"No, I know. I lost my temper a little, that's all. It's... it's not that big a deal, Dan." Ryan rubs at the back of his neck and tries on a shamefaced smile. It falters when Danny's expression hardens, like lava solidifying to rock, harmless on the surface but still hot enough to burn.

"You could have hurt him, Ryan," Danny says softly. His voice is so low, and so strong - both at once. "You, um. You did hurt him."

Ryan nods, again. He feels like a kid sitting in front of his mother after getting caught skipping curfew. He feels like Danny skipping curfew, the disappointed annoyance from their parents. Ignoring that it had almost always been Ryan's idea to sneak out.

"I... I get that. I didn't-" Ryan takes a breath and groans, leaning on his elbows, rubbing hands over his face. "Fuck. I hear all the shit that bastard did to you, and I think, Vandrum was right fucking there, Danny! Right there! And he... did nothing."

Danny sets the mug down and it clatters with the trembling of his fingers, nearly splashing out entirely. Ryan looks up and catches the sight of a bead of red on Danny's lower lip, chapped skin torn. Redder than his scars, more immediate.

"He didn't do, um, nothing," Danny whispers, barely audible. His strength is fading, pulling back inside him. Ryan's brother will just... fuck off somewhere and the stupid goddamn puppy will be there instead.

Dr. Rosa has a whole thing about this, about trauma and Danny protecting himself, something about identity and like a lot of really uncomfortable questions about their childhood Ryan has no idea how to answer...

"What did he do, then? Huh?" Ryan finds his finger jabbing in the air, watches as if from outside himself as Danny flinches back. "Tell me. What did he fucking do?"

"He, um." Danny shifts, drops his hands into his lap. His hair, shaggy and unkempt, is a riot of red waves and curls around his face. "Watched. Or... helped. He-"

"Danny, please. I'm angry enough, don't make me even more pissed at this guy-"

"He, he didn't want to, Ryan." Danny looks at him again, and Ryan watches tears glitter in his blue eyes, one run out and get caught in the crevices dug in by scars, follow its map over cheekbone and down to jaw. "He hated it. But he-... but I-..." Danny breathes, that awful fucking thing he does now to calm himself.

Breathe on, hold for a few counts, breathe out. Again and again. Ryan knows what he’s doing, inside his head, and it makes him sick.

My name is Red and I belong to Abraham Denner, and then those stupid rules - and there’s like fifty of them - over and over again until his breathing calms, until his hands settle.

Until he’s good.

The bastard, the fucking demon piece of shit that laughs at Ryan on the stand... Abraham Denner taught Danny to do that. And now, free of him, the Denner bastard about to waste away in prison for life... He still does it.

He still needs it.

Ryan's eyes drop to the scars around Danny's neck, a collar he can't take off, and he swallows. His stomach turns. He pushes the coffee mug away, the smell and taste of peppermint are making him sick now. Too cloying, too sweet, too much in the face of his broken brother's pain.

"I'm alive because of... of him," Danny says finally. "D'you see?"

"Yeah, cause four years later he found a fucking conscience-"

"No. No!" Danny's hands slap down on the table, rattling the ceramic mugs, and his breath is faster, airier. Whistling, almost. "I, I... No. Because he, he, um... He suffered, for me. With me. For four years."

"You suffered," Ryan says, voice flat. "He watched."

Danny looks at him, and there is a darkness there, a shadow around eyes and mouth, that Ryan can't always see. But he sees it now. "He, um. Was made to watch. That... That's suffering, too.”

“Bullshit.”

Danny’s jaw sets. “Don't touch him again, Ryan."

"Don't plan on it."

"Please." Danny's voice drops, almost to a whimper. "Please, Ryan. He's-... He's the only real thing."

"What?" Ryan blinks, but Danny is already pushing himself up, moving away staring out the window at the sunrise as he dumps his coffee into the sink and rinses out the mug. Automatic, thoughtless cleanliness.

Danny doesn't look back at him. He's so tall, towering over everyone, and he is still so... very small, in his fear.

"Abraham could take everything," Danny says, lips barely moving, his eyes locked on the sky slowly turning blue with the morning light. "Everything from me. He did, he, um, he could... do it again. But he never took Nate."

He turns to look at Ryan, and there's a brief flash of Danny again, really Danny, his big brother's flash and fire, before it fades under the weight of what has been done to him.

"You could take Nate away from me," Danny says, voice low. Almost weak. "Please... Please don't, Ryan. Don't touch him again. Don't b-be Abraham, in this house. Don't... Don't. I need... I need, um, this time. With Nate, while I have it. Before he... Before it's over. Before he comes back for me."

He leaves the kitchen with Ryan still staring, guilt an inferno that will burn him alive at the pleading uncertainty in Danny's face, his voice. The door to Danny's bedroom opens and shuts, almost silently.

Ryan is left alone to say, to no one, "But... He can't come back for you. He"s going to prison."

Danny acts like Abraham Denner could just fucking walk out of it.

---

@whump-it, @bleeding-demon-teeth, @finder-of-rings, @burtlederp, @astrobly@whumpywhumper, @18-toe-beans, @pumpkinthefangirl, @special-spicy-chicken, @swordkallya, @moose-teeth, @untilthepainstarts, @whumpiary,  @lave-whump @raigash @cupcakes-and-pain, @whump-tr0pes, @wildfaewhump 

[five-rivers]

Nascent

*Throws a oneshot at my followers, beans one of them in the head, then leaves.*

.

.

.

Ever since the Accident, everything had felt different.  Way different.  Maybe part of that was the whole ‘nearly caused the death of best friend, but apparently holes in the universe can give you superpowers’ discovery.  Sam still couldn’t get the sound of Danny’s screams out of her head, and it had been over a week.  

Although it was possible the nightmares contributed to that.  

Yeah.  

Anyway, being concerned (not necessarily worried) about Danny and Tucker all the time was normal after something like that, right?  They hung out all the time before, what was a little more?  What was a lot more?  

(It annoyed her parents.  They complained that she was never home.)

So, yeah.  Normal. Trauma response.  Also, Danny needed someone to pull him out of the floor when he phased partway through it or (ironically) hide his sudden spurts of involuntary invisibility.  

If that were all that had changed, Sam wouldn’t have thought twice about it.

But she was curled in front of her computer, writing the fifth email haranguing a school official about having a vegetarian week next year.  It was nearly eleven.  This was not normal behavior.  Not even for someone who was avoiding sleep.  

She’d also been spending more time in her greenhouse, lately, and had been getting in more (and louder) fights with her parents, but she wasn’t sure if those two things weren’t just stress (or being a teenager).  Even factoring in how long she’d spent getting the fertilizer around her tomatoes just right.

(The only reason she’d stopped was because she would have been late to meet with Danny and Tucker otherwise.  And she was still stressing about it.  She hadn’t gotten it quite even around the last plant.)

Back to the emails.  

She’d been thinking about proposing some changes to the school menu.  The vegetarian options were laughably limited, and the monthly plan had been the same since the fifties, it looked like.  It was actually sort of impressive that it had held up for so long, given all the school lunch reforms and programs the government had done over the years.  Whoever had put it together had really cared, Sam decided.  

But it wasn’t good enough.  Not anymore.  People knew more about food, now, and whoever was in charge of inventory had contracted with the absolute cheapest suppliers.  Everything they made was full of preservatives.  

It had to change.  Now.  Before Sam and her friends were forced to deal with it.  

She’d started the project the night Danny got out of the hospital.  She hadn’t been able to sleep then, either.  

How many emails had she sent, in total?  It had to be nearing fifty.  That one night, she hadn’t slept until four in the morning.

She probably wouldn’t sleep until then, today, either.  

This couldn’t be normal, right?

(Since when did she care about being normal?)

.

Tucker scanned through the programming tutorial with an almost fevered fervor.  It wasn’t quite what he was looking for, but he was more than ready to drink in any information he could.  

He had always loved technology.  Especially hand held technology.  This was about that, but also not.  

Danny had shown him and Sam the portal because they were curious.  Sam because ripping a hole to the afterlife sounded metal, and Tucker because Fenton tech was cool.  Even if the ghost stuff never worked, the Fentons did live on Jack and Maddie’s patents.  

‘Because it was cool’ was a really stupid reason to die.

If Tucker had known more about engineering, about programming, about the tech he had begged to see, if he could have properly read even one of the dials and instruments attached to the portal, would he have noticed it was still powered up?  That electricity was running through it?  That it was a death trap?

(Sure, Danny had grown up around Fenton tech, and between the two of them, he had been the one more interested in the engineering side of things, but that didn’t matter.)

Tucker was determined not to let that happen again. Hence his current course of study. He was going to know everything about technology, all technology, or die trying.  

Well.  At least the technology he interacted with on a daily basis.  

If that meant losing even more of his eyesight as he labored over poorly formatted readme files at midnight, then so be it. His friends were worth it.  

.

Danny jolted into wakefulness with a gasp, his heart hammering.  He was freezing, despite being wrapped in his sheet and comforter, despite how hot it had been when he went to bed.  

Something was wrong.  

Immediately, his thoughts jumped to his family.  Something was wrong.  They were in trouble.  He had to help.

In a daze, he phased through his blankets, barely noticing that this was the first time his ghost powers had done what he wanted and exactly what he wanted.  He padded out into the hall, not noticing that his feet weren’t leaving impressions in the carpet.  

Jazz slept with her door open, so it was easy to check in on her.  She was safe. No mysterious shadows menaced her as she slept.  Her breathing was slow and even.  

His parents?  He crept towards their door, part of his mind whirling while the other was deadly sharp.  How could he protect them without revealing his… whatever this thing that had happened to him was?  That he would have to protect them, that he could protect them, that thought went unchallenged.  

He put his head against the wood of his parents’ door and let his fingers skim the surface.  He inhaled, exhaled, and stepped through the solid object.  

Jack Fenton’s snores were deafening.  Neither he nor Maddie stirred.  Nor did they notice that their room was bathed in dim green light.  

Danny’s eyes locked on to the green blob’s pinpoint red ones.  His lips drew back, and he hissed, his eyes burning oddly as he did so.  The little… ghost?  Was it a ghost?  It fled from the room.  

Whatever was going on with Danny’s brain settled into a kind of contentment.  Right up until he realized he was in his parents’ room and had no reason he could give them for being there.  

Getting the very squeaky door open so he could get out again gave him five separate heart attacks, even if his parents couldn’t hear him.  

.

“Hey,” said Sam, as they met in Danny’s room the next morning.  

“Hey,” echoed both boys, tiredly.  

“Trouble sleeping?” she asked.

“Yeah,” said Danny.  

“Same,” said Tucker.  “You, too?  Your makeup is heavier than you usually do it.”

Sam stuck out her tongue, then sighed. “Yeah.  Have you guys…”  The question trailed off, and Sam’s face twisted.

“Have we what?” asked Danny.  

“Had any, like… weird thoughts?”

Danny scrubbed a hand through his hair.  His friends did not mention that he briefly flickered out of sight.  “I mean, I did di—almost die, I guess?” said Danny.  

No one mentioned this slip, either.  

“That’s…”  Danny’s voice went soft.  “I’m not like Jazz, or anything, but that’s trauma, right?  Like, feeling weird or overprotective or… or whatever, it’s just… That’s just how it is?  It’s a—a normal response?”

Despite Danny’s uncertain delivery, Sam and Tucker both nodded.  

“Yeah,” said Sam.  “That’s all it is.  Okay.”

(They did not think of this moment again until they discovered the term liminality.)

[trashyswitch]

Patton, the Cute Little Puppy Baby Bat Fly Fly Baby Dog(s)

Patton LOVES turning himself into Talyn! Why? Because Patton wants to be tiny! And Talyn is tiny!

Roman, Virgil and Logan absolutely appreciate this, and decide to take advantage of it!

Tiny Disclaimer: I will be identifying Talyn as they/them, Patton as him/he, and Palyn as they/them. Though I know that Patton (Thomas) identifies as a man, I wanna make Palyn non-binary, to suit Talyn and to not upset anyone who's incredibly protective and technical about the whole thing. I love, support and respect non-binary folks (I have a couple friends who identify as such), and would hate to accidentally misgender someone.

(Though, I often mix up male and female pronouns as it is...It's a blessing/curse of mine...😂)

Ever since the 'Making Some Changes' video, Patton has loved being able to walk around like Thomas's friends! He loved being Joan and making him laugh, he appreciated being Valerie just for the fun of it, he absolutely LOVED becoming Talyn to become more adorable, and he loved becoming other people he's befriended! Heck, Patton has even become the voices of Steven Universe to make a Steven Universe joke!

After a while, Patton narrowed down which of Thomas's friends were his favorite to become. Soon, he had decided that his favorite person to turn himself into was: Talyn!

Why, you're probably asking? Well you see: It's simple, really: they’re tiny, therefore adorable! Patton is adorable, but missing the short-statured part! So, becoming Talyn made that a lot easier!

Every part of Talyn was very tiny compared to Thomas. Tiny stature, tiny body size, tiny head, tiny voice! The only thing that WASN'T tiny, was their life!

Plus...doing Talyn's Danny Devito impression was ALWAYS fun to make fun of...

Virgil didn't know how he felt about Patton becoming Talyn at first...To be honest, it was a little confusing. If Virgil was looking away and heard Talyn's voice, he'd have to turn around to figure out if Talyn was ACTUALLY there, or if it was just Patton messing around. But eventually, Virgil got used to it and began to have fun with it! He'd treat Talyn Patton like a little child (That was Patton's dream come true!), started making short jokes, and even began putting his sweater on the tiny Patton! Eventually, Virgil would go as far as to ruffle up Patton's different-colored hair!

Sometimes when Patton would turn into Talyn, Patton would show off the many different hairstyles Talyn has sported over the years! The firey red long hair, the bisexual flag-colored hair (plus eyebrows), the green long hair, the yellowish faded short hair, the grey and black short hair, you name it! Patton tried them all out on himself!

Roman absolutely loved it! He loved being able to see Talyn Patton! Roman eventually came up with a name that could describe the tiny Patton: Palyn! Roman would give the tiny Palyn piggyback rides, cuddles, hugs, and even dress them up in adorable outfits and do their make up! The Patton-being-Talyn thing didn't change anything about him! So, it only made their friendship stronger!

Meanwhile, Logan had started out...worried about the idea...What if Patton began to wish he was Talyn, and began associating himself as Talyn forever? Everyone would miss Patton's squared glasses and bigger, more lovable body. But soon, Logan learned that this was more of an appreciation thing, and not an identity thing. So, Logan began appreciating Palyn and treating them the same way he would treat Patton.

One of the days, Patton had turned himself into Talyn and began going through Patton's closet. In the closet, were multiple blue-collared shirts, a single grey shirt for tying around the neck, and Patton's cat hoodie! Palyn decided to grab the hoodie, and put it on their tiny self.

It...is gigantic...It's like wearing a hoodie dress! It fell down to their knees, and the sleeves were SUPER long! Palyn giggled at how silly they looked, and put the hood on with their sleeve-covered hands.

The hood practically drowned their head in grey fabric...

But, Palyn didn't care! They felt happy! They felt drowned in love! Now, Palyn wanted to show it off! So, off they went: running into the living room to where the rest of the sides might've been.

"Hey Palyn!" Roman said before running up the person, picking them up to hug them and spinning around in the hug.

"'Palyn'? You're calling Patton Palyn now?" Virgil asked.

Roman slowed his spinning to a halt and placed them down. "It's a mix of Patton and Talyn! P-a-l-y-n! Palyn!" Roman explained.

"...I approve this name. I believe it suits-" Logan lifted up his glasses to look down at his vocabulary cards. "sssmmooooolll-'smol' Patton, nicely." Logan told them.

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Right context, bad grammar. Good try, though." Virgil corrected.

"Strange...What context would you use this in?" Logan asked, having his vocabulary card ready to take notes.

"To start: 'Smol' is not an adjective. It's a 'noun', meaning: 'something that's tiny, cute and squish-able'. The best way you could use it, is through a nickname: Smol bean, which means the same thing, basically." Virgil explained briefly.

Logan nodded as he finished up his note-taking. "Okay. Thank you, Virgil. Now, I will turn my attention to the 'smol bean' that's right beside me." Logan stated. Palyn had started jumping up and down, and clapping its covered hands excitedly as Roman lightly squeezed his cheeks.

"Aren't they the most adorable hooman being you've ever seen?" Roman asked. Logan's eyes widened as he started going through his vocabulary cards again. Realizing that word was missing from his deck, Logan conjured up a new vocabulary card and a pen to write it down.

"hoo-man...how do you spell that?" Logan asked.

"H-o-o-m-a-n." Palyn told him.

Logan followed Palyn's spelling. "Okay, and what does it mean?" Logan asked.

Virgil gave Logan a 'seriously?' face, but still decided to help him out. "It's a version of the word 'human'. Gen Z's decided to turn it into 'hooman', so that they can describe what us humans are, according to dogs and cats.'" Virgil explained. "Here: Patton, can you demonstrate?" Virgil asked, pulling the hood off their head.

To demonstrate, Palyn curled his wrists in front of his chin like a puppy, and began acting like a talking dog. "Hooman? Hooman give me food? Am I good pupper? Pupper good boy? LUV ME HOOMAN!" Palyn demonstrated before hugging Logan from behind the couch.

Patiently, Palyn waited for Logan to say something. Logan didn't know what to say...Well, he did, but...how? Should he just tell him in his normal, monotone voice? Or should he attempt the messy grammar that Palyn used?

"Uuuh...Yes..." Logan started, before patting their head awkwardly. "Palyn is a good boy." Logan replied in an awkward version of his monotone voice.

Suddenly, Palyn gasped and smiled widely as he let go of Logan! "I'm a good boy! I'm a GOOD BOY! ROMAN! ROMAN! I'M A GOOD BOY!" Palyn shouted, spinning circles around the man excitedly. As he sprinted around Roman, Patton's sweater sleeves would fly outwards behind his back. It was a hilarious little feature that came with Palyn.

"You what I think Wittle ol' pawyn might want?" Roman asked, getting Palyn's attention. Palyn quickly stopped his running right in front of Roman, still filled with endless energy. "I think...Palyn needs some spins!" Roman declared, becoming the ultimate babysitter in the group. Roman picked up Palyn from behind, and began spinning them around. Both of Palyn's eyes and mouth widened in excitement as they got spun around like a really quick-spinning carousel! Virgil, in order to avoid getting a pair of legs to the groin, quickly jumped onto the safe couch, which lie out of bounds from the crazy carousel in the room.

"WHEEEEEEEEEE! FASTER ROMAN! FASTER!" Patton shouted happily.

"NO! DON'T go any faster! This is fast enough!" Virgil warned him, quickly becoming the anxious parent in the family.

Roman continued to spin them for a little longer, before slowing down the chilc. He didn't wanna overdo it.

"What do you wanna do next?" Roman asked.

Palyn's face lit up. "Hide and seek with tickles?" Palyn asked.

Roman gasped, and clapped his hands together. "Great idea!" Roman reacted, excitedly.

"Can I join? I wanna be it." Virgil asked.

"Sure!" Roman replied.

"I'd like to be it as well." Logan piped up.

"Of course! The more, the merrier!" Roman replied, before looking back at Patton. "Okay. You can start hiding, while we start counting." Roman reacted with a smirk.

Palyn stared at his lers for a couple seconds before he quickly sprinted away, over-sized hoodie, tiny legs and all.

Roman started the counting up from zero, while Logan and Virgil counted on their fingers along with him."1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10! 11...12-" Roman counted.

By this point, Palyn had successfully found their little hiding spot.

"...13...14...15...16...17...18...19...20! Ready or not, here I come!" Roman called.

Roman began looking around for the little adult. He was fully aware of which way they had ran. But, Roman wanted to make this as teasy and fun as possible! So, he started out by looking throughout the living room for them. After taking a minute or so of looking, all 3 lers moved onto the kitchen.

"I wonder...Where would our adorable Palyn be?" Roman asked, checking under the table as he teased.

Virgil tiptoed towards the sink, and quickly whipped the door open. As anticipated, no one was there. "Not under the sink..." Virgil told the captain out loud.

"He's not in the stove...which is good. We wouldn't want Palyn turning into a roast dinner by the time we're done..." Logan stated, purposefully being a little funny to get Palyn giggling.

Next, the three lers moved onto the bedrooms. For this part, Logan, Roman and Virgil all split up to check their rooms.

Logan went to his own room. Checking under the bed, checking the closet, checking under his desk, even checking in the wash basket! but...Palyn was nowhere to be found.

Roman went to his room as well. He checked in the magical closet, checked his mirror door, even double checked under his huge teddy bear! But...he was nowhere to be seen.

Virgil quickly checked his room too. He checked under his bed covers, checked behind the dressers, and even checked his closet of hoodies-

Wait a second...One of these sweaters is not dark like the others...One of them happens to be a light grey, and...is wearing brown-pants? That's GOTTA be Palyn!

So...Virgil turned himself around, and began to leave the room. "He's not in here." Virgil yelled to his fellow lers.

"He's not in my room either." Roman replied.

"Absent in mine." Logan said.

Before Roman could suggest the next place, Virgil put a finger over his mouth and signaled for them to follow him. Virgil led them into his room, and showed them the...obvious color-change in the closet. For now though, all 3 lers stood at the door frame to discuss their 'problem' out loud.

"Well, I gotta say: He is absolutely no where to be found! And I don't believe Patton would hide himself in his own room...would he?" Roman asked loudly.

Suddenly, a little sound could be heard in the distance...an adorable little giggle, bouncing off the walls back to them.

"Wait...Do you hear that? I think Palyn might be giving us hints to where he is." Logan told them.

"I can hear it too. It's a cute little giggle. It sounds a bit like Talyn's, but with a flare of...Thomas in it..." Virgil described.

"Could it be..." Roman asked, drifting off.

"Palyn?" Everyone said at the same time.

It only took a second for Palyn's giggles to grow louder in volume.

"Maybe we should let the giggles lead us to our hider..." Logan suggested.

"Oooh, good idea!" Roman replied.

So, all three of the lers walked around in the hallway, pretending to listen closely for where the giggles might be coming from.

"Hey Virgil! I think they might be in your room!" Roman declared, winking at him.

Virgil smiled and nodded to Roman, before walking up to the door. "Really? But I already checked here! How in the world could they be hiding in a place I already checked?" Virgil asked out loud.

"Well, perhaps you didn't check hard enough?" Logan suggested.

Virgil rolled his eyes, but winked at Roman to go in. "Move over, my grim, royal poet! I, will check the room." Roman declared, opening the door.

Patton's giggles had started coming on strong again. So, Roman decided to pretend to look absolutely everywhere, except for the one place they were in. The longer he looked around, the louder Palyn's giggling became!

After looking absolutely everywhere, Roman turned around with his fingers together in the shape of a handgun!

"Palyn! Put your hands up where I can see 'em!" Roman yelled, pointing the finger gun at the closet.

Palyn immediately put their hands up upon demand. Palyn began to giggle more now.

"You're under arrest!" Roman ordered. "Officer Logan, Officer Virgil, we've got 'em." Roman ordered. Running up to the 'crime scene', was was his back up officers: Virgil with one finger gun and a shield, and Logan with his finger gun and a walkie-talkie in hand. Palyn, in his giggly state, slowly walked out of the closet and knelt down to their knees. "Palyn, you are under arrest for adorableness in the first degree! How do you plead?" Roman asked, pretending to hold a microphone now.

Patton, through his giggles, attempted to answer. "G-Guihihihilty! Ihihi'm guihihihihiltyhyhy!" Patton replied.

"You've heard it here, folks! They are guilty! Therefore:" Roman acted, before pretending to bang a gavel against a wooden striking block. "I sentence you to 15 minutes of tickles!" Roman ordered. Suddenly, Roman ran up to them with finger claws and a growling sound! Palyn squeaked in excitement and practically flopped onto the ground, happy to take the ticklish 'sentence'. Roman began to shove his hands underneath the grey cat sweater, and began to squeeze, claw, and flutter his fingers all over Palyn's upper body.

Palyn bursted out in high-pitched laughter, and began rolling back and forth to cope with the tickles. Next, Virgil joined Roman on the ground, and began fluttering his fingers on Palyn's ticklish, tiny neck. With the bigger fingers on the tinier neck, Virgil was able to cover more ground all at once.

"EEEEEEEK! VIHIHIHIRGAHAHAHAL! EEEEhehehehehahahahaha! Ihihihihit TIHIHihihickles!" Palyn reacted, flailing the long, grey sleeves absolutely everywhere.

Roman gasped in surprise. "ReAllY?! it TiCkLeS?! I had NO CLUE! Virgil, did you know this?" Roman reacted dramatically.

"No, I didn't! I'm quite surprised! What about you, Logan?" Virgil reacted, being a little dramatic as well.

Logan rolled his eyes, but still decided to go along with it. He made a rather empty gasp, and widened his eyes for a split second. "I'm flabbergasted." Logan replied in a monotone voice as he did jazz hands.

"See!? Even LOGAN is going crazy! I simply cannot believe you're ticklish!" Roman reacted.

Logan, wanting to join in as well, knelt down in front of Palyn's feet and began to tickle their socked feet as well.

"HEHEHEHEHEY! NAHAHAHAT MYHYHY FEEHEHEHEHEHETSIHIHIHIES!" Patton yelled through a quickly increasing laughing fit.

Logan placed his hands on his cheeks like Kevin in Home Alone, and gasped again. "Wow. Your little footsies are ticklish too? What a surprise." Logan reacted in an empty voice.

Somehow, Logan's mostly dead reactions seemed to make Palyn laugh even more! Perhaps dramatic irony is Palyn's favorite type of humor? Who knows?

"Who's a tickwish wittle chiwd? YOU are! WHO'S de most ticku-ticku-tickwish chiwd in de whole mind pawace? YOU are! Yes, YOU are!" Roman teased in a baby voice.

"THEHE TEHEHEHEHEHEASIHIHIHING! IHIHIHIT'S KIHIHIHIHILLIHIHING MEHEHEHEHE!" Patton shouted.

"Oh! What's this? the teasing is killing you? My goodness! We have to save them! But, how?" Roman reacted dramatically.

"Wait, you're telling me you DON'T know CPR?" Logan asked, pretending along with him.

"Well, do YOU?" Roman asked right back.

"Um-........well no..." Logan admitted.

"Move over, idiots. I know how to do CPR. It's rather easy, really. All you have to do is liiiiift up the hoodie..." Virgil explained as he began lifting the hoodie up to expose Palyn's tummy. Palyn immediately began to giggle in their sleeves. They knew EXACTLY what was coming next. "And...give them a raspberry! Like this:" Virgil explained, before blowing a great big raspberry into Patton's stomach.

Patton let out a loud, high-pitched squeal, before dissolving into endless laughter once again!

"Now, remember: longer raspberries tend to do more to help. So, the longer, the better! Like this!" Virgil explained before blowing an even BIGGER raspberry! Patton squealed once again, and dissolved into even MORE laughter! Virgil's CPR raspberries seemed to go on for another couple minutes. And you could tell, that Palyn was enjoying every second of it!

"IHIHIHI'M AHAHAHALIHIHIHIHIVE! IHIHI'M AHAHALIHIVE!" Patton shouted through their loud laughter.

"Virgil, look! They're alive! You saved them!" Roman reacted happily as he hugged Virgil. Virgil smiled at Palyn, and picked them up bridal style.

"Hey Palyn, would you like to watch a movie and cuddle?" Virgil asked.

"Yes please!" Palyn replied.

"Alright, let's go." Virgil said before carrying Palyn out of his room. Roman and Logan followed suit, and helped them choose a movie to watch.

Pretty soon, all 4 sides had covered themselves in blankets, and let the movie Bambi play on their TV. The truth was, Palyn felt very comfortable. Patton loved being tiny. He loved being cuddled, tickled, loved, and being silly! That was one of the reasons Patton liked turning himself into Talyn. They were allowed to be adorable AND be tiny at the same time.

However: tiny or not, adorable or not, Patton still felt forever loved by his family. The proof was all there, and Palyn loved it.

Fun fact: Most of the nicknames Thomas and his sides come up with, have backstories and deeper meanings.

Example; Nerdy Wolverine: Wolverine's first name is Logan.

Grim, Royal Poet: Grim = another word for Emo. Royal poet represented the well-documented Roman Poet by the name of Virgil, who wrote a violent, suspenseful poem called Aeneid. The poem was one day published by Caesar Augustus, the ruler of the Roman Empire. Cool, huh?!

Funny thing is, Thomas came across this name by accident! What a coincidence!! 😃

[phantomphangphucker]

Evil As Plain A The Collar On His Neck - PhannieMay- Day 21 Double Date

Summary: Danny’s revisiting the dating scene, but just is Jazz doing here?

Sequel to my fic A Sister Always Has Her Reasons

“And why do you have to come again?”

Jazz rolls her eyes, “mom and dad asked me to chaperone after what happened last time”. Danny can’t help but groan and cringe as he remembers the disastrous date with Star, which of course got interrupted by a ghost and resulted in him going home with shredded clothing.

Glaring at his sisters “charge” who snickers at Danny, which Jazz also rolls her eyes at, “you could at least try to get along”. Danny only glares at her incredulously for that, how could he ever get along with him.

But spotting his old, and possibly new, flame changes his mood, “hey Val!”. Catching his sister muttering at her “charge”, as Danny runs over to Valerie, “now don’t you go scaring her mister, or you will be in shit”.

Danny can tell Valerie’s a bit confused, “try to ignore them. My parents are being a bit over bearing after my last date resulted in blood loss and ruined clothing”. Valerie snickers at that, “your entire family is wacky, including you”, shrugging, “but clearly my tastes are wack”.

“I’ll take wacky any day, much more interesting”, Danny chuckles as they take a seat together, with the other two close behind.

Danny uses his menu to block out the other guy, which Valerie leans into to whisper at him, “let me guess, you don’t get along with Mr. tall, built, and brooding over there?”. Danny shakes his head and glares at the menu, “enemy is a pretty accurate descriptor. But where Jazz goes, It goes too”.

“It? Now that’s just mean-”, the rest of Valerie’s comment gets cut off as Jazz clears her throat. Danny, lowering the menu, glares at her. Who rolls her eyes and points at the approaching waiter, resulting in Danny blushing a bit and mean chucking coming from across the table.

“So what will you four being having to drink today?”, the two nineteen-year-olds order Faygo, Delicious Red for Valerie and Moon Mist for Danny. Lemon water for Jazz, who then glares at her “charge” as he orders a Green Lantern. He just shrugs, “it’s not like I’ve got a liver to piss off, and it’s not like I care”, while Danny’s just wondering where the hell he got an ID and what the hell’s even on it. Jazz rolls her eyes, “that stuff tastes awful though”.

“He’s awful, so it fits”, Jazz glares at Danny. While Valerie talks over the strangers snickering, “okay, who are you? I thought I’d seen everyone in Amity and there’s no way I’d miss someone walking around with an oversized neon green collar”. Danny groans slightly as Jazz responds, “the big guys' name is Dan, bit of a trouble maker so he’s stuck with me”. Danny blinks at her incredulously, “a bit?”. While Dan smirks and stretches his arms over the back of his head, fully noticing Valerie trying to not stare at his muscular arms, “they could snap your damn neck”.

Jazz shakes her head, “well, you lasted twenty minutes”, while Valerie glances at Danny. Patting her leg, “he won’t actually be doing that”. Muttering under his breath, “only because he isn’t allowed to”.

Jazz snorts as Dan flat-out tosses the entire drink in his mouth, downing it in one gulp. While the waiter goes a bit bug-eyed, promptly bringing him another. Jazz cuts him off after the fourth, laughing, “I’m not rich! stop that!”, pointing at the waiter, “and you! Stop encouraging him!”. While Dan leans his head back and laughs, which is plain weird to Danny. Though he can’t help but laugh a little along with Valerie, while the waiter looks like he’s just had a damn good day.

Eventually getting their food: caramelised salmon for Valerie, chicken penne for Danny, salad with garlic toast for Jazz; and, as per requested, the bloodiest thing they could serve, eight-ounce steak cooked blue with a side of ribs, for Dan. The waiter, looking at him, “just so you know, that is the single weirdest way anyone has ever requested for anything here”. Turning his head to the Fenton girl, “you Fenton’s sure like ‘em weird, don’tcha?”.

Danny coughs into his hand a bit at that but eyes Jazz questioningly as she blushes, even more weirded out as she waves him off.

Valerie’s not sure why Danny’s eyeing his sister oddly, the waiter wasn’t exactly wrong, she was definitely odd herself; though this guy’s odder.

Shoving one of her green beans at Danny, who just takes it with his mouth and eats it. “So, you figured out how to fling yourself into the void of space yet?”, Danny chuckles at her question fully remembering promising to do so as his yearbook quote, “once or twice, still working on the “and die” part”.

“The answer to that question has been around for fifth-teen years”, Danny glares at Dan and stabs at his noodles a bit aggressively. Dan smirks and violently snaps his teeth around a large piece of steak, loud enough to make the people across from them jump and scoot their chairs away a bit.

Valerie points her fork at him, “you have issues”, while he digs in his mouth and pulls out a tooth he broke loose. Flicking it across the table, out of sight before it dissolves into ectoplasm, snickering, “your idea of issue, is my idea of a good time, little red birdy”.

Valerie squints at him while Danny mildly chokes, glaring subtly at Dan.

Jazz is torn between being slightly grossed out and wanting to giggle a bit, for being twenty-nine, the guy sure was an overdramatic baby, “you just have to be a mildly terrifying ball of tease, don’t you?”.

Dan pokes her in the side, barely whispering, “I get my pleasures where I can”. Before ecto-zapping her lightly under the table, which she hits him playfully for, while he just snickers a bunch. Doing it more until she actually starts laughing, chuckling, “it’s my right by might, soft flower”. Dan leans back against the booth, satisfied, before biting clean through a rib bone; with one arm behind his head.

Valerie will admit it’s a little adorable Jazz collecting herself and patting the huge guy on the head, which he seems quite pleased by. Danny must have some serious issues with Dan to look so put off though, he won’t admit it but he is rather protective of his sister. Well, ok, he’s protective of everyone actually.

Elbowing him, “oh whatever, but since the party crashers are distracted...”.

Danny decides to deal with whatever weirdness later in lue of taking the chance to kiss Valerie, not giving a damn that Dan probably noticed. While Dan and Jazz take turns ruffling up each others hair, though he takes the time to zap Danny purely to annoy him.

Valerie has no clue what the zap was, there wasn’t supposed to be literal sparks flying, she also has no clue why Danny’s glaring at Dan again.

Danny decides to roll with it, to not give Dan the satisfaction, smirking at him before turning and poking Valerie, “well, when sparks fly, the couple must surely be shockingly perfect”, with a shit-eating grin, “so clearly with us, lightning struck twice”. While Valerie snorts, Danny a bit surprised to see Dan looking rather amused while Jazz just groans.

Dan, chuckling at Jazz, “with this weather, I’d say we could bolt and see if any actually strikes”. Danny can’t help but respond, “sounds like a killer idea to me”. Which Dan actually snorts at, while Jazz gapes excitedly, whispering, “did they just, get along?”.

While Valerie mutters under her breath, “he’s like a jerkier version of Danny”. Which makes her blink, realising that makes it genuinely kind of weird that Jazz is clearly either dating or borderline dating this guy. Or they just have a really really weird version of friendship; Valerie’s not placing her bets on the last one though. But considering half the damn town seems to ship the Red Huntress with Phantom, and she’s not exactly entirely opposed to the idea; her eyes are just firmly elsewhere. So who was she to judge here?

It doesn’t take long after that for the waiter to bring them their bill. Unsurprisingly, Jazz pays for the tip and most of the meal thanks to a certain oversized someone. Poking at him with the bill as they all get up to leave, he shrugs, “could have just left, besides, money’s a human issue”. Jazz glares at him, “that’s wrong and even if you don’t care, I do”. Dan stretches his arms over his head, “everyone else's wrong, is my oh so very right”. Dan smirks knowing that was part of the allure of this thing with Jazz, along with annoying his younger self. Though he does find it odd, yet pleasant, that his affections are more genuine than that. Not that he’ll admit that to Danny.

While Valerie and Danny walk a fair bit behind the older pair, “you’ve officially succeeded in giving me the weirdest date ever”. Danny smirks loosely and bumps his shoulder into hers, “so this mission to Venus was a success then?”. Rolling her eyes at him, “absolutely, you reckless space boy”.

Not a single one jumps as a massive thunderclap goes off, rattling a few windows. Both Jazz and Valerie say to their respective ghostly men, “if I die, I’m dragging you down with me”. Both of whom responded, “guess I’ll die”.

End.

[smallgayblanket]

Fresh Muse List

In case you guys were curious about my characters I have a big old list:

Egos:

Anti   (Usually the softer kind, has green emerald glowings eyes which turn staticy blue when hes vulnerable/being open/himself. He can be an asshole though and does in deed take out bad guys with his knife.)

Jameson Jackson  (Mute but does actually still have a voice- his vocals are in ruins and he's kinda dealing with poor eating making him dangerously skinny. He works as a bartender and has silver tipped brown hair that's a little bit longer than the others.)

Crank  (Robot Ethan ego. He’s an utter mess- eyes sometimes fizzle out, joints stiff, has emotional issues. He also has a corrupted voice in his head that is real nasty when he pops up and sometimes takes over their shared frame.)

Blank  (Fricking soft boy, his aura is hard to control and sometimes controls him. He has a rare heart issues which makes him prone to fainting and collpasing without much warning.  Still, he tries.) 

Jackieboyman   (Super hero boy! Super buff, caring, kind, and tol.  Lilac/Gold eyes. Little odd strip of red in his brown hair. The best voice.  Works as a gas station worker to hide his identity (he looks great in the blue button up and glasses.) He.’s ftm trans. Sometimes I HC him as a phionex other times he has pretty golden whips of light.)

King of the Squirrels   (Otherwise known as Simon. He’s a hybrid, Tail, ears. Omega. Very sweet, little skittsh and frzzled. Wears glasses and cozy sweaters- likes making nests and being out in nature. Loves PB but is actually allergic..doesn’t keep him from eating it though.)

Henrick Von Schneeplestien  (Grumpy german doctor who lives off of coffee. He is willing to assist those in need and really needs to sleep.)

Chase Brody  (He’s got his youtube channel and a bunch of positive vibes! He’s strugglign sometimes with depression but its not always so bad. Sometimes he had real bad migrains though, and he also suffers from chornic fatigue making his days shorter or hard to get teverything done.)

Wilford Warfstache  (We know him, lover of bubbles and pink. Talks funny, loves candy. Chubby man.) 

Yandere  (Nonbinary somewaht MTF.  They’re a real cutie, will punch dickheads without a sweat and really just want someone to be their senpai and let them fall for them head over heels without running away..) 

Were-Eth  (Ethan got bit by a werewolf and now deals with that. Basically an Ethan muse with a small twist. He’s absoultely adorable with the tail and ears and sharp teef.)

Mark  (Abused and kidnapped by Author My Mark is a little bit softer then the guy he’s based on. He’s a little bit shorter and alot more anxious and unsure of himself thanks to Author breaking him down. He’s vcovered in lots of scars spescfially his wrist’s and does not like water much. )

Bing.  (Tries his hardest to be good, bit glitchy but he’s chill. He tries to skate, and jokes wen nervous. He’s pretty sweet though.) 

Edward Iplier  (Absoulte adorable dork, He tries to help everyone and anyone no matter what- I’ve kinda fallen in love with the idea of him only having one arm but that’s only one of many ideas. He loves space, he’s chubby and also loves food. He’s got a prety neat aura ablity too.) 

Robbie.  (Soft grape zombie boy. He’s sweet and innocent as ever. He’s easily th e shyest of the bunch and doesn’t always talk to much. He loves getting affection though and is always eager to please.) 

And meet my OCS! Some of them are old- and alot of them are new! There's a little description for each just to get your interest~

Quinton  (A Hybrid of Demon and Angel otherwise called a Guardian.)

Ori ( Very pure angel boy AU of the angel half of Q - a little androgynous when it comes to clothing he/him sometimes they/them.)

Zeno  (A DJ with a somewhat secret love for dancing too. Only has one arm.)

Lumi (Ghost boy- literally- he died and he’s kinda like Danny phantom in reverse- he can turn solid but eventually has to rest and turn back to being unable to interact with objects)

Eztli   (Pretty grump guy who was cursed by a witch to be immortal- although it made his blood kinda..weird..)

Gallio (Strawberry Hipster guy- A photographer who also has hypoglycemia)

Aomi (A blackberry witch- hes not very great at spells yet but he tries!)

Lucas (A moonstone gem perma-fusion. Quite a nervous wreck.)

Eme. (A smart scientist. Human. Nothing special.)

Chris. (Camp leader! He’s based off David from camp camp but hes far more buff and hes not so over the top. He has his own green house and is part dryad.)

Alex  (A very confused, overly optimist Alien who doesn’t know what they are. Come from the planet Eutychia)

Locus  (Fish boi!  Transparent fins, glowy patches, plays harp + loves music)

Lir(A Tiny Octopus/Human boy!!)

Reese (Passionfruit bab! Literally. He kinda contains passionfruit pulp but don’t cut him open!!! :< Or do if you want weird angst >_>)

Benji (Strawberry shortcake boi- Cursed tape /bandages. Demi half god. One eye. Uses notes to communicate but also sign. Really. Good sweets maker)

Small bois- These boys are pocket sized! though sometimes I do like to think about them being human sized ^^.

Kiyan. (A little assistant android. Created to assist! He works at a post office currently. Pronouns do not matter to him though its usually he/they/it.)

Tobias. (Made of hair gel. Eats soap. Someone stop him before he gets a tummy ache. He/him.)

Hinto  (Guy made of foam slime- He was kinda based off Remy aka Sleep from the fanders.)

Glowstick bubs (They are tiny boys who glow like well- glowsticks but also lavalamps, very pretty to look at. and theyre nocturnal!)

Theo(A tiny ink creature. He makes a mess but hes adorable.)

JellyBubs! (A collection of tiny sentient jelly babies, The main one being strawberry aka Jeri. They dont mind what you calm them but usually they works best.)

Miel (A tiny little bee boy! He makes honey.)

Moyachi  (Cactus boi!! Loves water and has clear/lime green tinted aloe/herbal helpful blood. Spikes up at defense from bad people)

Apocolyse Squad:

Long story shot: The planet Keres,  Left uninhabitable after the invasion that ruined the air and killed almost the entire race. I have loads of stuff to talk about for this gang of 6:

Sameal o’Ceirin (Being of smoke- partly blind.)

Mallory Thomas (Part cat! Can talk to animals. Nonbinary/genderfluid.)

Hamrish Benat  (Also goes by Hami/Hayden. He/him. 4 eyes, soft tongue. PTSD. Super soft boy. Loves soap cutting videos (and doing it himself) and bears/plushies - Has an arrange of cute face masks. Is a trained nurse and learning to be a pediatrician.)

Joshua who cares (An asshole lets leave it at that.)

Andy Peters (Strong, kind. Kind of like Tyler Scheid, He/him.

Adrian  Géarán  ( Real anxious. Gets bullied alot. bit of a weakling/cry baby to some. Has a pretty shit immune system struggles with food and sleep.. He has a Demon esc-Tail, fire abilities, likes to make little robots. He loves iron man. He/him.)  

Liren Pichi (Deaf peaches n cream boi- Nickname Pichi.  He wasn’t part of the squad- however he did end up landing on their planet- he had some rough encounters with the aliens ^^)

Neighbours AU:

These guys all live in the same little  cul de sac

Lynx is from planet Ananke.

They all live on the new homeworld, Ermioni. (Its basically earth just a few more creatures live there and the government is less of a mess.)

Lesbabs:

Blake Aglaia  (She/ her.  A human with a gift of being able to put emotions into glass balls..)

Lynx ?? (She/her/they/xe/ xir  An alien and human, the alien somewhat resides inside its host but they coexist. Sometimes goes feral)   Alien half likes to go by Perse  (Percy)  They have cool looking saliva- viens that run down their arms that are pretty cool- sharper nails/claws? Tendrils. Large ol mouth. Lots of point ass teef.

Demon fam:

Hyacinth ( A six-armed demon. Grows flowers on his skin based on emotions. He’s a huge mother hen, will care for anyone. Enjoys cooking and gardening and children.  He/Him)

Rhys  (They/Them. A Demon with a great curiosity about humans) Feri  (The sibling of Ryhs)

Anthos (Rhys and Hy’s summoned accidental toddler.. He has a cute tail and tinnny horns.  He/him)

Roommates:

Douglas Connelly  (He/Him A regular chubby human bean! Loves baking and music.)

Donovan Amores  (He/Him/ Real fricking cool and smokin hot Bartender with a love for dogs. Dougs roommate. Has glowing fuckin orbs- donates his heart- is smooth as fuck, background heavily Spanish (moved when young.))

Haris Alaksim Real name (lost in translation  (Huitzilopochtli God of sun and war) ) - A god whom Dono is very close with and donates his heart two one every 3 years during the day of the highest sun. He is a god / Mouros.  Donovan refers to him as “Dios gentil”  or “ Viejo colibrí sabio”   (“El viejo colibrí sabio es un dios gentil” (The old wise hummingbird is a gentle god.)

Donovans Family

Rem (They/He/Him Looks after magical creatures- Cane is from Haris)

Oscar  (He/Him.  Not sure what trinket or power but He’s just a casual store worker w/ good arms. Surprisingly good with knives- perhaps has one from Haris?)

Nicole  (She/her/they/them.  Makes clothes..possibly got some ability to do with seasons..?  Perhaps earrings or a bracelet from Haris)

Javi  (Makes jam, cute boy, wears cloaks. Has a cute little jar necklace  ^ a proper sized magic jar.  Doesn’t mind whatever pronouns but usually prefers he/him/boy.)

Luca (FTM Trans bookkeeper- Talks to Haris most often and likes to ask questions..Has precious books…Possibly a special pen..)

Forest bois:

Cypress (The soul of the forest - Mentor of Rem. Doesn't mind what you call him but usually leans masculine.)

Unicorn boi (Yet to be fleshed out. Hes got very rare blood- lost his horn and lives with a giant inside of a bubble?  He/him/it)

Fyn. (Mushroom boy. Protects a gate. Lost his twin in a fire caused by humans.. He/him)

Fie. (Bat boy. Love fruit. Is ironically scared of the dark- shy but cute. He/Him)

Moh. (Fairy/incubus hybrid.  They/them)

Tucker. (Bunny hybrid- cool guy with bunny ears and a tail. Soft white patches on his chest. Got a bit of an attitude but is chill- is also friends with Ainsley. He/him but is usually mistaken for a girl because he by bunny standards is..)

Ainsley. (Fawn boy. Wears glasses. Much like a deer, skittish and nerdy and keeps to himself. Tries to keep Tucker out of trouble but usually ends up dragged along instead)

Experiments:

Izekiel  Iris (A being of Paint!  Stutter, anxious, hallucinates. Zones out alot. An amazing artist though. He/him though has feminine tendencies.)

Matty   (An experiment, part human, part lizard, part dragon. Much smol and cute. Hes very quiet, selectively mute on occasion. Lots of scars and trauma, scars on his arms and constantly needs to wear bandages. Very easily tired. he/him.)

Nes. (Based of off Crankgameplays as face claim but he’s basically his own thing at this point. He’s been through alot of angst and trauma and some really nasty stuff ^^’ (He killed his parents, the ice cream truck driver tried to abduct him, he was experimented on in a very bad place, and now he's an utter wreck who will cling to anyone who gives him the time of day. He has murder tenancies but is full of guilt and hates whenever he hurts anyone. Lots of panics. Very hard to handle if you aren’t patient.)

[belladonnaandulriched]

amped and wired, part two | chapter twenty: i survived

It wasn't easy but I managed to slither out from underneath the covers: sitting upright made my head spin. Whatever hit me in the head did a number on my sense of balance, but I managed to catch myself on the side of the door frame. I stood still to make sure that it was in the fact the bump on my head and not the fact that I had stood up too quickly.

Once I had a steady stance on the dark wooden floor underneath me, I went ahead down the hall and towards the staircase.

One step at a time. Last thing I wanted was to fall ass over teakettle down the stairs.

I reached the bottom in time to see Lars there at the mouth of the hallway: he had turned away from the hall so his back was to me. But I knew what they were talking about in there, especially when Frankie nodded at me from the bar on the other side of the room.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Charlie declared from the strip chess table. Lars turned around to see me.

“There he is! Walking around like always—I was just about to check on you—”

“We gotta go back to the warehouse,” I promptly said.

“What! Are you out of your mind?”

“Maybe—especially after I got konked in the head, it's likely. But we have to go back and get Scott and John outta there.”

“And—how do we do that?” Frankie asked me as Gwendolyn served him a glass of stout.

“Here, lemme come closer—”

Lars led me into the room so everyone could hear me. I took my seat in between Charlie and Louise at the strip chess table. My head was still spinning even as I sat down there.

“Would you like something to drink, Joey?” Gwendolyn offered me.

“Ya got any ginger ale?” I asked her.

“I think we do—let me check—” She ducked back into the kitchen.

“Anyways, so here's what we do...” I began, but then Louise stopped me by putting a hand on my wrist.

“Wait for Mrs. Hamilton first,” she suggested. The six of us awaited there in the front of the room and listened to Gwendolyn rummage through the kitchen for a thing of ginger ale for me. It gave me a chance to lean back in the chair and rub my temples.

“How's your head, by the way?” Frankie asked me.

“Doesn't hurt as bad as it used to. But I'm like—really dizzy, though. It's makin' my stomach turn a bit.”

I looked over at Lars and I wondered if he confessed to them what he did. But then again, I had my belief that he would keep a secret like that, especially with Charlie in the room. Those lips were sealed and I held out hope that they stayed that way while I was unconscious.

“What even hit me in the head, by the way?” I asked them.

“No clue,” Charlie admitted with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Yeah, we just saw you go all rigid and then you keeled over like you were going to collapse,” Lars added. “But something hit you, though. Hit you and then knocked you out cold for a few hours straight. We bounced out of there and all the way back here. I should have known it was a trap, too.”

“I keep tellin' ya, man,” Frankie insisted after he took a sip from his glass, “none of us knew. Although you should'a known that was a speed trap, though.”

“Joey's eyes were rolling into the back of his head, man!” Lars proclaimed. “And the hospital in Syracuse was nowhere to be seen!”

“We were chased by the cops?” I muttered.

“You still didn't have to go a hundred miles an hour, though,” Charlie laughed to himself. “We were about to get pulled over but man, those clones come in use, don't they?”

“Their fragile bodies have quite a bit of strength,” Lars pointed out with a shrug, “she nailed that one right in the head so I am glad that we were not pulled over.”

“A clone took a swing at a cop?” I muttered again.

“Although, to be fair, I think those guys were going to be eaten anyways,” Danny joined in from across the room.

“Cops got eaten?” I cleared my throat. Gwendolyn emerged from the kitchen right then with a glass of bubbling ginger ale for me.

“Here, Joey—” She handed me the glass and I took a little swig of it.

“Ohhhh, that's better. Anyways, so what we do is we get our asses back in there and we try to open the door again. However, Lars—I want you to use Mrs. Hamilton's radar detector and see if it picks up where the clones are. If there are some coming, we bounce outta there and to the hospital to get Scott, John, Mrs. Hamilton, and Angeline, and then we come back here for—her.”

“For Maya?” Lars asked me.

“Yeah. Remember when you and I brought the clone to the hospital?”

“How could I forget?”

“Cut off the head and the body will bleed out and die.” I took another swig of ginger ale.

“You want to kill her?” Lars sputtered.

“I don't wanna kill her, man!” I scoffed. “But it's the only way to stop the clones and to save us all.”

He fetched up a sigh.

“Okay. I have a feeling that you are right, Joey. I just want to ask you one question, though.”

“What's that?”

“Where is Mrs. Hamilton's radar detector?”

“It's—in the glove box of her car, isn't it?”

“You sure it's her car, right?” He folded his arms over his chest.

“I remember taking it out of there,” Louise recalled.

“Yeah, that's right, you took it out,” I said with a wag of my finger. She headed back to the bar to fetch something. We watched her take her bag out of hiding; she rummaged through it in search of that thing. She then frowned at us.

“It's out in the truck!” she declared.

“Okay, good. Explains the 'speed trap'.” I took another sip of ginger ale.

“Why does Mrs. Hamilton even have a radar detector?” Danny wondered aloud.

“Wish I knew the answer to that,” I said once I swallowed it down.

“I don't even know,” Gwendolyn confessed.

“Doubt Cindy knows, too,” Frankie added.

“Besides, I thought that thing didn't work,” I recalled. “That's why you threw it out the window, Frankie.”

“We were goin' through Syracuse, though.”

I took one last swig of ginger ale at that and set the glass down on the table.

“Let's bounce,” I said to them as Louise handed me my coat, which one of them had hung up near the door.

I was in the hot seat that time around, with Lars right next to me. Charlie, Frankie, and Danny were in the back seat behind us. I had to make one quick stop, though—to fetch one of the hockey sticks from the rink. If I was going to make an ace in the hole, I might as well do it right. Lucky for me, Lars kept my skates on the floor of the truck down by his feet.

We made our way back down to the City in a few hours flat: at that point, it was almost nightfall. I had no idea what day it was, but I didn't care. I had my mask over my face to protect me, and they had theirs on, too. I brought us back to the warehouse.

Do it again, I said.

Fool them all, I said.

We reached the door and entered the front room again when that hooded doctor, the man who stood over Scott in the hospital lunged for us with a bunch of clones. We scrambled apart, which in turn left me alone with my back to the wall.

I gripped onto my hockey stick and kept it down by my waist. I backed up towards the wall.

He was faceless, with nothing more than a pitch dark shadow covering his entire head courtesy of that hood. For all I knew there was nothing inside of there. He brought one long spindly hand to the pocket of his lab coat for something.

“You're that little long haired bastard that tried to open the door,” he snarled at me. “With my blood ball no less.”

“Hey, you're the son of a bitch that hit me in the head!” I declared.

“You know they say not to bring a stick to a gun fight, right?”

I swallowed as he pointed the end of the barrel at my belly. I had nowhere to go, nowhere to turn, and the hockey stick was nothing more than a stick at that point.

Something beaned him right in the back of the head. He fell to the side, right on the floor, unconscious. I looked over to see Frankie had thrown the radar detector right at his head.

“Yeah, apparently, you also shouldn't bring a gun to a radar detector fight,” I retorted as Frankie scurried over to pick it up. I rounded him and made my way over to the stairwell once again with Frankie, Danny, Charlie, and Lars. We descended towards the ice again, only to the red slime from that ball still splattered over the surface of the ice before us.

“That's probably why he hit me in the head,” I said as I used the hockey stick to steady the four of them, one at a time, on their way over to the doorway.

“He wanted to stop you,” Lars remarked as he was careful to walk across the ice.

“He called it a 'blood ball', too,” I told him.

“A blood ball—as awful as that sounds, that sounds metal as fuck,” he remarked.

“Doesn't it?”

Within time, the five of us were by the doorway. It was dark aside from the light from the ice for the first few feet, but then we turned a corner. The corridor reminded me of that underground room in Syracuse: big green plants crept up the wall towards the ceiling but these ones cradled bundles of wires and dark computer screens. One that caught my attention was one which led to L'Amours there in the City.

They were spying on us. They were watching our every move before they ate us alive.

“There they are!”

I stared straight ahead to see Mrs. Hamilton at the end of the hallway with something in her arms.

“Mrs. Hamilton!” Frankie called out.

We all hurried towards each other, and then I saw what she was carrying.

“Don't ask us how we did it,” Angeline started from behind her, “but we broke Scott out. No idea where John is, though.”

Mrs. Hamilton cradled Scott in her arms much like how I held Maya in my arms when I took her home. Still in his white hospital gown and still with a delirious look upon his face. His bleary eyes gazed up at the five of us.

“Joey—” he breathed out.

“Scott, can you hear me?” I asked him.

“Joey—what are you doing with that with hockey stick?” I glanced over at the hockey stick, which I held over my shoulders to keep it out of the way.

“Swingin' it?” was all I could think of.

“Why—?”

“'Cause—I can?”

BEEP.

We all looked at the radar detector in Frankie's hands. All of the lights went off in all manner of green and red. Indeed, I felt the tender spot on my wrist ache from where Maya shocked me. I shook my hand about.

“Clones,” said Lars in a low voice. “They're coming for us.”

[magolor-starcutter]

My friend reacts to some Touhou characters

Marisa: She’s pretty cute, actually. I’m still kinda mad that she has orange eyes, because it’s just stupid.

Elis: If I see one more blonde red-eye, I’m gonna scream. And for some reason, she has a weird silver lollipop, but if she casts a spell on me, I’m gonna be real mad. There’s a big… something on her back.

Ellen & Sokrates: I don’t have anything to say. She’s just, hot. She’s cute. But why is there a cat there? What’s with her dress, too? What is up with that? It’s dumb.

Kotohime: Why does she look like a man? She kind of reminds me of a really bad otome I played.

Kana: She’s cute. She looks like she could be cute if any person with artistic talent drew her. But what’s with her hat? What is she trying to protect herself from?

Sara: Red-dress girl. I don’t like her already. Girls with pink hair also suck.

Luize: White dress with the purple accent who also looks like a guy. Her fedora is kinda cool but she looks like an annoying businesswoman. She has a weird french thing going on with her clothes.

Alice: Blue dress lady looks like a lost girl. I don’t know what’s going on little girl, but you need help. She’s also an Alice in Wonderland rip-off.

Yuki & Mai: They look like gay. White-dress girl looks like she’s about to stab someone. She’s wearing those surgery boots for some reason. The blonde… is just… I know I’m a hypocrite for saying this, but blondes look bad in dark clothing. She looks stupid and she needs to wear her colors, which are light colors. Why can’t people just have normal eyes in this series?

Rumia: She looks like Danny (Angels of Death). She’s gonna scoop out my peepers. She looks very heterosexual.

Cirno: Oh, she’s cute, I don’t have any complaints about her. She looks like she’s gonna pierce ice directly through my soul, and I don’t really mind.

Meirin: Ahh… okay… I’m pretty sure she has a communist Russia hat. That means that I have a communist on my hands. Honestly, that means she has to die. She’s a commie.

Yuyuko: She also looks like a man. She looks like she’s gonna take my soul. I wouldn’t be surprise if that’s accurate. She also kinda looks like a nurse. But like a fake nurse. She’s gonna steal my soul while I’m injured. Also, her pink hair is gross.

Reisen U. Inaba: She looks like she’s gonna sacrifice me to her rabbit god on the blood moon. I cannot describe the tribal fear when I see her.

Kaguya: First of all, she reminds me of someone who I knew from first grade; she has hair that bridged on her ass. She looks annoying. Maybe she could cut her hair. Calm yourself, Rapunzel.

Aya: She’s pretty cute. Apparently she has wings, but on her ass, and that’s… she’s got booty wings, so that’s pretty cool. For some reason, she has a little mini hat on.

Medicine: Ellen’s emo older sister. The fairy is her OC.

Kisume: The girl in the bucket is clearly really small. We both know how I feel about small, green gremlins. I like her already. She’s on my good Touhou character list.

Yamame: Weird blonde girl is wearing brown for some reason? She has yellow highlights on her dress? She has a bad fashion sense, she’s ugly. She has brown eyes, though. That’s a rarity.

Sunny, Luna, & Star: Alright, so, blue… wait, is this Heathers? Where is Duke? Did Veronica kill her? Anyway, blue-dress girl looks cute. I bet her name is Sakura. Redhead looks like eight. Her clothing adds to it. Blonde hair girl looks like I just killed her dog. Screw you, too, curly nuts.

Wakasagihime: Blue and green girl is just… I don’t know… her hair is too bright and her dark-forest green dress doesn’t go well whatsoever. She has like a.. tail? I’m not sure what that is. She’s ugly, though.

Sekibanki: I… what… she looks like a cheap magic trick that went wrong. This stupid girl is walking around carrying her head. Little Red Riding Head.

Kagerou: Then there’s the furry. She’s the biggest furry, she has weird ears or something. She’s sinful.

Benben & Yatsuhashi: They’re both cute. The blue-hair girl has a weird guitar thing, but it’s cute. She has a mullet apparently, a really long one, too. She’s not wearing shoes, either. Brunette, I really like her, she has good fashion sense. She has that purple that accents with her friend… she just looks good.

Seija: Upside-down emo girl.

Shinmyoumaru: She has like a Dream Catcher… and there’s like a fish in her hand? There’s a loop thing down there. I don’t know what it is. It’s like a fish catcher. Her hat is dumb. She looks like she does some embarrassing stuff. Her dress is open, which is weird.

Raiko: Now for hot girl. I don’t know her power is, but it looks like she controls planes. Her hair goes with her jacket. I love her tie, and it makes her way hotter. The tie goes with the boots, which goes with the boots. She’s just cute. She looks like she’s 12, but I’m 14, so it’s okay.

Seiran: She looks like she likes really long black dick. I don’t know, it’s just what I’m thinking of. The blue hair versus the red eyes is so ugly. Also, she’s a furry. Her outfit is so…

Ringo: Oh no, she’s hot. Red doesn’t go with blonde, though!

Doremy: What is… what is going on? First of all, she has a tail situation down there, and then she’s like… I think that’s a bubble gum bubble there. And then she’s got like a Santa hat on, even though she’s clearly not Santa. This is cultural appropriation. She’s got blue hair, which doesn’t go with literally anything she’s wearing. She has blue eyes, though - that goes.

Sagume: She looks like an angel, but she also looks like she’s gonna kill me. I don’t trust her. Her stupid red bow doesn’t go with her dress. She looks like she needs to calm down. Why do you have boots with a dress? She’s annoying.

Clownpiece: Weird patriot girl looks really annoying. She looks like an annoying straight girl who attends 4th of July parties. She’s waving around a sparkler.

Junko: Crazy-flowy hair girl looks hot. But her eyes and sleeves are lame. She’s really pale. REALLY pale. She looks like she’s a white as a sheet.

Hecatia: She’s hot. She’s just hot. I want her to crush me with her world-holding hands. I don’t know about her fashion sense, but it’s okay. I don’t know your punk things, but whatever floats your boat. But she has a third world on her head or something.

Eternity: I don’t like fairies. I never have. She looks especially dumb. She has like a bowl cut. She’s got a weird thing coming out of her head. Can you just not show me this again? She’s gross and ugly.

Nemuno: Cleaver girl seriously needs to calm down. Her dress is like… teared. She has a scarf that’s all over here or something. The question is her sleeves. They aren’t connected to anything. Maybe she’s coming them up with magic. At least she’s aesthetic.

Aunn: Uh, she’s pretty cute, but like she has a Hawaiian shirt-looking thing going on. Also, she’s got a horn thing. I think multiple horns. That’s cool, I guess. If she wants to stick up my ass, that’s perfectly fine with me. Her hair is weirdly curly.

Narumi: That’s snow-hat girl. I know that she tries to kill you, so I’m kind of skeptical.

Satono: Stupid pink girl. Ugly shade of pink, no fashion sense. Is that a maid outfit? It’s ugly. She has like a bean bag on her head, too.

Mai: Slightly less annoying clone of the pink one. I feel like she will actually run you through with that bamboo.

Okina: She looks like a mommy. I don’t care if she tries to kill me. Okay, but why is she wearing a Mickey Mouse hat? That’s so weird. And she has this weird fire but I thought her thing is doors. Her clothes are kinda dumb, so…  whatever.

Sumireko: She’s got like, Pagan symbols on her cloak, which scares me. She has knobby knees. She has too-high socks for like what’s going on; if you wear socks, you have to wear pants that cover them, or with a dress long enough that cover them. She looks like a cheapskate magician.

[esonetwork]

Fall Movie Preview 2019

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Fall Movie Preview 2019

Fall movie season is here! This is always my favorite time of the year to see movies. There’s such a wonderful variety of films available to see in theaters. Everything from awards season contenders, indie darlings, and exciting space adventures! Get ready to make your way to the theater because this looks like it’s going to be a great season at the movies. Let’s take a look at what’s coming soon.

SEPTEMBER September 13th The Goldfinch Starring: Ansel Elgort, Oakes Fengley, Nicole Kidman, Finn Wolfhard Bring the tissues and prepare yourself for a rollercoaster of emotions because this is gonna be a wild ride. The Goldfinch is based on the Pultizer Prize winning novel by Donna Tart. This is one of the best books I’ve read recently, but it’s quite an emotional journey. It follows 13-year-old Theo Decker after the traumatic death of his mother in an art museum bombing. It’s a haunting and powerful story about the human condition once grief becomes a prominent force in one’s life. The film is directed by John Crowley with Roger Deakins as director of photography. That’s what I call must-see cinema.

Hustlers Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Constance Wu, Cardi B, Lili Reinhart Based on a New York Times article, former strip club employees band together to hustle their Wall Street Clients during the late 2000’s financial crisis. This looks a bit like the heist of Oceans 8 meets the real world story of Molly’s Game. It has quite a star studded female cast of movie/TV/and music stars and is directed by Lorene Scafaria (Seeking a Friend at the End of the World, The Meddler.)

September 20th Downton Abbey Starring: Michelle Dockery, Maggie Smith, Hugh Boneville, Jim Carter You love Downton Abbey, I love Downton Abbey. Everyone loves Downton Abbey. I can hear the theme song playing in my head just thinking of the movie being released. That’s right, the beloved TV series is coming to the big screen. Hopefully, it won’t be anything like the season 3 finale. (Real fans know the pain and struggle. We can’t go back to that time.) In the film, Downton Abbey will be visited by the royal family. I’m sure it will make for quite an impressive cinematic experience. As a fan of the show, I can’t wait to see it all on the big screen!

Ad Astra Starring: Brad Pitt, Tommy Lee Jones, Liv Tyler Just two months after showing the world that he doesn’t age in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Brad Pitt is back and he’s going to space. It makes sense, fall is the only logical time to release a film in the space genre. (The Martian, Interstellar, First Man, Arrival, Gravity were all released in the fall,.) Ad Astra is all about an astronaut who takes on a mission to uncover the truth about his missing father. The film is directed by James Gray (The Lost City of Z, The Immigrant). I just hope Brad Pitt gets to wear his iconic Hawaiian shirt. Audiences demand to see it again.

September 27th Judy Starring: Renée Zellweger, Finn Wittrock, Jessie Buckley, Rufus Sewell There’s nothing like a good biographical drama. Throw in musical numbers and it’s a hit in my eyes. Renée Zellweger stars as the iconic Judy Garland in this biopic that explores her life in 1969 as she arrives in London to perform a series of sold out concerts. Word from the Telluride Film Festival is that Renée Zellweger gives a very strong performance as Judy. Could she have an awards season run on her hands for Best Actress? We’ll see very soon!

OCTOBER

October 4th Joker Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Robert de Niro, Zazie Beets Joaquin Phoenix stars as the Joker in this standalone film that focuses on the origins of the DC villain. The film received an 8 minute standing ovation at the Venice Film Festival, which seems pretty excessive for any movie. I’m just not a movie applauder. It’s unnatural to me. I’m also not much of a Joker enthusiast so I can’t get too excited about this or the way it seemingly wants me to feel sympathy for the Joker. I don’t. He’s a terrorist. However, this is going to be a huge cinematic event. There are striking similarities to 70’s hit films The King of Comedy and Taxi Driver in the first trailers of the film. Director Todd Phillips clearly wanted to make a unique comic book film and this one will have people talking.

Lucy in the Sky Starring: Natalie Portman, Dan Stevens, Jon Hamm Another space movie! Fall movie season demands it. After returning from space, astronaut Lucy Cola begins to feel withdrawn and disconnected from reality. The film is loosely based on Lisa Nowak, an astronaut who lost her grip on reality after returning to earth after space travel. One thing’s for sure, with a cast including Natalie Portman, Jon Hamm, and Dan Stevens, this one promises some impressive acting.

October 11 Gemini Man Starring: Will Smith, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Clive Owen An assassin becomes the target of a mysterious government operative who can predict his every move. Soon he finds out that the mysterious operative is a clone of himself. Can Gemini Man help director Ang Lee (Life of Pi, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) find critical acclaim again after 2016’s underwhelming Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk.

The King Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Robert Pattinson, Joel Edgerton Based on Shakespeare’s Henriad, The King follows Henry V as he takes the throne after his father’s death and navigates a kingdom filled with war, chaos, and political strife. While all of that is very interesting, I think we need to discuss the hair in this movie. First of all, there’s Timothée Chalamet’s bowl cut, which is quite a situation. So very round and tragic. Why Timothée? You know you have great hair, but the bowl cut is not your look! Then, there’s Robert Pattinson’s wig. It’s kind of amazing. The hair in this movie alone is going to keep me entertained for 2 hours. The King will be in limited release theaters on October 11th and begin streaming on Netflix November 1st.

October 18th Zombieland: Double Tap Starring: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin This sequel comes 10 years after the popular zombie comedy first made its way to theaters. A lot has changed for the cast since 2009. Emma Stone has won an Oscar for La La Land, Jesse Eisenberg received a nomination for The Social Network, and Woody Harrelson has appeared in several projects including the Oscar nominated Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri and the critically acclaimed series True Detective. That doesn’t stop this cast for returning for a sequel!  This time around, the team is back in the American heartland to face off against evolved zombies.

The Lighthouse Starring: Robert Pattinson, Willem Dafoe I was initially indifferent towards this movie, but after watching the trailer I have to see it just to solve the mystery of who spilled those beans! Willem Dafoe is going INSANE over it. “Why’d ya spill your beans?” Someone please answer him before he turns into the Green Goblin! This movie is about two lighthouse keepers who try to maintain their sanity while living in seclusion on a remote island in Maine. (It’s also about beans, I think). The cinematography for The Lighthouse has a unique old Hollywood feel that is very intriguing.

Jojo Rabbit Starring: Taika Watiti, Scarlett Johannson, Roman Griffin, Sam Rockwell Taika Waititi (Thor: Ragnarok, Hunt for the Wilderpeople) directs and stars in Jojo Rabbit, an “anti-hate satire” about a young German boy whose imaginary best friend is an idiotic version of Hitler. One day, he discovers that his mother is hiding a Jewish girl in their home and Jojo’s world is turned upside down. There’s no doubt this will be controversial, but the key word here is satire. Taiki Waititi is Jewish himself and the film is obviously making fun of Nazis.

NOVEMBER

November 1st The Irishman Starring: Robert de Niro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci Martin Scorsese’s long awaited gangster epic is finally premiering this November. The 3 1/2 hour crime drama (Scorsese loves a good 3-hour runtime!) focuses on the life of Frank “The Irishman” Sheeran a mob hitman who played a role in the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa. Netflix is distributing the film, but it will be available to see in select theaters on November 1st for cinematic purists. It will begin streaming on Netflix November 27th. (Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Go ahead and watch a 3-hour mafia epic with your family for the holiday! It’s Martin’s gift to you.)

Harriet Starring: Cynthia Erivo, Janelle Monet, Joe Alwyn The true story of Harriet Tubman and her harrowing escape from slavery that eventually led to the Underground Railroad. Cynthia Ervio is going to be amazing in this role! She was such a breakout star in Widows and Bad Times at the El Royale. Can’t wait to see her portrayal of Harriet Tubman.

Terminator: Dark Fate Starring: Mackenzie Davis, Linda Hamilton, Arnold Schwarzenegger The Terminator is back. In yet another installment of the franchise that will last forever, Sarah Connor and a hybrid human must protect a young girl from a newly modified Terminator from the future.

November 8th Doctor Sleep Starring: Ewan McGregor, Rebecca Ferguson, Jacob Tremblay 39 years after The Shining, it’s getting a sequel. Based on the novel by Steven King, Doctor Sleep focuses on an adult Danny Torrance as he meets a girl with similar “shining” powers and tries to protect her from a cult called The True Knot. There’s a lot of talent involved in this project, but The Shining is untouchable in terms of classic movies. There’s no need to make a sequel. Not to mention, this plot summary sounds kind of weak. Consider me very skeptical that this will be good.

Last Christmas Starring: Emilia Clarke, Henry Goulding, Emma Thompson A Christmas rom-com! Let’s jump for joy because a Christmas rom com is making its way to theaters! Last Christmas is all about Kate, a depressed woman working as Santa’s elf in a department store. She keeps bumping into the same man, Tom, who may help her find happiness in the holiday season. Henry Goulding/Emilia Clarke romance+Christmas? Sounds like a recipe for the perfect holiday movie!

Honey Boy Starring: Shia Labeouf, Lucas Hedges, Noah Jupe It’s no secret that Shia LaBeouf has had a chaotic lifestyle in his post-Disney days. It looks like audiences are about to find out what has gone on behind-the-scenes in Honey Boy. The film is written by LaBeouf and follows his own experiences with fame and the strained relationship with his dysfunctional father. Noah Jupe and Lucas Hedges will be playing Shia LaBeouf as a child and teen actor, while Shia LaBeouf will play his own father for a meta twist. As someone who grew up watching Even Stevens and saw Shia LaBeouf’s career progress, this is one of my most anticipated films of the fall.

November 15th Ford v. Ferrari Starring: Christian Bale, Matt Damon, Catriona Balfe American car designer Carroll Shelby and driver Ken Miles attempt to build a revolutionary race car for Ford to battle Ferrari at the 24 hours of Le Mans in 1966. The premise of this movie reminds me a little bit of Ron Howard’s Rush which is a very underrated movie that should be watched if you haven’t seen it.

The Report Starring: Adam Driver, Jon Hamm, Tim Blake Nelson The Report is a political drama about an FBI agent’s investigation into the CIA’s torture practice on suspected terrorists after 9/11. Adam Driver stars in the film and he’s about to have a major fall movie season. The Report and Marriage Story (more on that one a little later) could easily get him awards buzz. In fact, I predict he’ll be nominated for an Oscar for one of those roles. Plus, he’ll be in Star Wars in December. You’ll be seeing a lot of him in the next few months.

Charlie’s Angels Starring: Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott, Ella Balinska, Elizabeth Banks Did we need another Charlie’s Angels reboot after the 2000’s movie trilogy and the ABC TV show? No. Yet there’s nothing Hollywood loves to more than to reboot a franchise we’ve just seen! This time around the angels are played by Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott, and Ella Balinski. Elizabeth Banks is directing and co-starring in the project.

November 22nd Frozen 2 Starring: Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Josh Gad Anna, Elsa, Kristoff, and Olaf go on an adventure to an enchanted autumn forest to find the origin of Elsa’s powers and save their land. Just when everyone finally got Let it Go out of their heads, Disney is gonna hit us with another Frozen movie. I have to admit, I’m intrigued by the concept of the autumn forest. We need more movies that take place in the fall! It should be it’s own sub-genre.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood Starring: Tom Hanks, Matthew Rhys, Susan Kelechi Watson He’s already played Walt Disney, Captain Phillips, and Sully so it’s fitting that Tom Hanks would play Mr. Rogers on the list of “America’s favorite people” up next. The movie is all about the friendship between Fred Rogers and journalist Tom Junod. I cannot wait to see this. If you haven’t watched the documentary about Fred Rogers called Won’t You Be My Neighbor?, do it before this is released! It’s going to add so much depth to the cinematic experience.

November 27th Knives Out Starring: Daniel Craig, Chris Evans, Jamie Lee Curtis, Toni Collette When a famous crime novelist is found dead on his estate, a detective is enlisted to investigate the family. Knives Out is directed by Rian Johnson (Looper, The Last Jedi) and packed with stars. It looks a bit like Bad Times at the El Royale meets the style of a Wes Anderson movie. I’m very interested in the central mystery at play here, but I can’t lie, Chris Evans is the reason I’ll go to the theater for this.

December 6th Marriage Story Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Adam Driver, Laura Dern This one is gonna be majorly sad, so let’s all take some time to prepare ourselves. A stage director and his actress wife struggle as their marriage falls apart and they proceed with a difficult coast-to-coast divorce. Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale, Frances Ha) directed the film which has already been receiving high praise from early festival screenings. This will definitely draw comparisons to Kramer vs. Kramer and Baumback’s The Squid and the Whale based on the trailer’s tone. The juxtaposition of the couple’s happy memories vs. the court scene at the end of the trailer is just heartbreaking. Marriage Story will be available to stream on Netflix December 6th.

December 13th A Hidden Life Starring: August Diehl, Valerie Pachner, Matthias Schoenaerts Few movies have affected me the way Terrence Malick’s The Tree of Life have. It’s certainly not a movie for everyone, but it works for me. The unconventional narrative, epic cinematography, and orchestral score are unforgettable. Critics from festival screenings have said that A Hidden Life is his best work since The Tree of Life meaning I’ll need to see it ASAP. The film is based on a true story about an Austrian farmer named Franz Jaggerstatter who refused to fight for the Nazis in World War II. The trailer looks beautiful and poetic.

December 20th Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Starring: Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, John Boyega The latest Star Wars trilogy will complete with The Rise of Skywalker. Taking place after The Last Jedi, the members left in the Resistance will face the First Order once again. The conflict between the Jedi and the Sith reaches a breaking point bringing the Skywalker saga to an end. I have so many questions about this movie! Was Kylo Ren actually lying to Rey about her parents in The Last Jedi? Could they really be important people? Will she turn to the dark side like this preview suggests? (I hope not). Why is Palpatine (the villain who died in Return of the Jedi) talking in all of the trailers? Thankfully, J.J. Abrams is returning as director for The Rise of Skywalker to answer all of my questions and hopefully deliver a great Star Wars film.

Jumanji: The Next Level Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Karen Gillan Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle was one of the biggest surprise box office hits in recent years, appealing to people of all age groups. It’s no surprise that The Next Level is being released so quickly after the massive success of Welcome to the Jungle. This time around, the group goes back into the game, but a few of their grandfather’s are sucked in as well. That means Kevin Hart will be playing Danny Glover and Dwayne Johnson will be portraying Danny DeVito.

Cats Starring: Francesca Hayward, Jason Derulo, Judi Dench, Jennifer Hudson, Taylor Swift Forget Star Wars, forget A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, forget A Hidden Life. Disregard everything on this list. Cats is going to be the cinematic moment of 2019! That CGI? Legendary! The actors could have worn cat suits or make up like the stage play, but director Tom Hooper decided that this is the 21st century…time to try out a new technique called digital fur technology! So now this movie exists. It’s difficult to describe what this digital fur technology looks like, but it’s not cats. I will say the trailer was released with plenty of time before the movie gets to theaters so there’s hope that the finished product will look way better than the original trailer. If I’m being totally honest, I love anything musical, so I’m totally going to see this.

December 25th Little Women Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Timothée Chalamet, Meryl Streep, Laura Dern Greta Gerwig’s highly ancitipated second film is a remake of the beloved Louisa May Alcott novel, Little Women. You all know the story, but I’ll do a quick plot recap anyway. Little Women is told through the eyes of Jo March as she recounts her life growing up with her 3 sisters: Meg, Amy, and Beth. Each have their own distinct personalities, but have a very strong bond with each other. The film reunites Saoirse Ronan and Timothée Chalamet as Jo March and Laurie for a mini-Lady Bird reunion. It also contains a little Big Little Lies reunion with Meryl Streep and Laura Dern. What a great Christmas day release!

That concludes this Fall Movie Preview! As you can tell, there are tons of movies releasing this season in all genres. What are you most excited to see this fall?

[offtosavetheearth]

June 28th, 2018   

I’m sad to leave the beautiful Hacienda today. Breakfast was great; scrambled eggs and BACON, toast with jam/butter, and the best coffee I have ever tasted. It was almost chocolatey, and thick like a coffee shake with no ice cream.

Descending the eastern slopes of the Andes, we passed through cloud forest into the rain forest. We went through the Bano de Ambato, a resort with hot springs situated on the side of the active volcano Tungurahua, which is sometimes evacuated due to eruptions. We pass the Agoyan hydroelectric plant and Aguyan waterfall, and travel a winding road through tunnels as we descend steeply to the Amazonian rain forest lowlands. Interestingly enough, Ecuador prides itself on powering 70% of the country through hydroelectric power. Hoping to replace natural resources entirely, the goal is to reach 100% hydroelectric power. Unfortunately there is still much controversy; hydroelectric power requires dams, which have been associated with the flood of habitats, and release of methane gas. Two of the three largest dams in the world are housed in Latin America.

As we drove closer to the lowlands, the tributes of the Pistasa River could be seen, representative of the great Amazon River. Following this down, we entered the world’s largest broad leaf forest, housing more biodiversity per square foot than anywhere in the world. The rainforest itself used to be home to thousands of indigenous, who practiced guerilla warfare with poison dart arrows the fight off the Incas and Spaniards.  However oil was soon discovered in the Amazon, and Ecuador was launched into modernization by joining the OPEC organization. They started building roads through the biome, which have allowed colonists from other parts of Ecuador to establish farms and populate towns such as Puyo. Toward the end of the drive we passed through Shell town. This famous town, founded by the oil company Texaco and later adopted by Chevron, is being sued for environmental contamination and pollution of the Amazon River in Ecuador. In 1964, Texaco started drilling in the rainforest. The company eventually exported as many as 220,000 barrels a day to the U.S. During this black gold rush, the Cofan, indigenous people who drink, bathe, and fish in the Amazon, began noticing a stench coming from the water. Texaco’s run-off system, in which “the pollutants come from a pool through a tube in the swamp and the swamp feeds the river from which the Cofan take their water” didn’t seem to be working. Indeed, 18 billion gallons of run-off were found in the river – 30 times that of the Exxon-Valdez spill. Texaco defended the run-off system, saying that it was “within industry standards.” Now the Amazon Defense Front is fighting back by representing the 30,000 plaintiffs who are tired of the damage to the river, cleaning up behind Texaco, and the unusually high levels of cancer they have been experiencing. As of May 2010, the damages sought were up to 27 billion.

Also with politics in the United States, there is also bureaucratic controversy fueled by the antics of Correra. The former president believed that in order to achieve sustainability there must be poverty reduction, and poverty reduction comes from economic gain through resource extraction. This angered many indigenous communities, who were jailed for disagreeing with Correra. Lenin, the current president, has released these peoples and has let his public know of his support towards environmental protection.

Once I arrived at the Amazon Basin, I was surprised at how few insects were around. Here the area has been highly fumigated, and it is sometimes rare to see mosquitoes. But we are not camping in the Basin; we are traveling as deep into the jungle as we can, without risk of being exposed to tropical disease.

Next we crossed the Napo River, located in the province of Napo. The bus stopped at an outdoor restaurant, with a beautiful view and immersion into the jungle. We ate soup with popcorn, pappas fritas, fried steak topped with queso fresca, salada, horchata, and mineral water. To my surprise I actually had a great conversation with Danny over lunch, about our common interest in natural resources and energy. He recommended a few classes to take that he enjoyed, and shared with me his plans for graduate school, while I in turn relayed my interest in law school, particularly Energy Law, or International Law. We discovered that we even have mutual friends; Corey Hulse was on my team for the UT Austin Alternative Energy Challenge in which we won first place/grand prize, and for Danny, Corey is the person who got him interested in computer programming, and he is now the President of the Engineering Club. What a small world sustainability is, and how interesting is it that our passions almost intermesh, yet we are seeking two very different career paths.

When we arrived at, Alfredo demonstrated how to roast and grind cacao beans, adding milk, vanilla, and sugar to make chocolate. The Cacao beans have to dry for three days before they can be used, and to get the best aroma, you must ferment the beans in a box. We first put the cacao in a pan over fire for 3 to 4 minutes until they popped like popcorn. Then we laid them out by the bar area, and peeled off their burnt layer to reveal a black bean. We made the chocolate from here with the three ingredients listed, and ate it with cookies. It was semi-sweet, and I was not a huge fan, but fun experience anyways.

After being assigned a room with Allie, and Whitney, we dropped our stuff off and most of the group went swimming while I had a drink with Sisi. I got a Coke, she got a beer, and we talked for about 45 minutes before swimmers came back from the pool. Everyone hung out in the social area until dinner either reading, playing cards, talking, or drinking.

Dinner included a kind of honey-baked chicken, green and purple lettuce, rice, and mashed potatoes. It made me feel like I was almost back in Texas, just needed some gravy.

Late night activities included a bug-walk, where we saw various types of spiders, frogs, toads, ants, roaches etc. The only way I could explain it would be to say, everything is bigger in the Amazon. The cockroaches were the size of leaves, ants tripled in length, and toads as big as my head. We can thank all these little creatures for aiding in the immense amount of biodiversity found here.  It freaked out a LOT of people, but I thought it was cool, the only thing that worried me was the bullet ants because of how painful their bites are rumored to be.

When we were back at the social area our hosts took out their tarantulas and the group had a photo shoot with it. I felt really bad about the whole thing, because she had raised up half of her legs and was obviously scared, but couldn’t go back in her home till everyone got a picture with the flash. I was waiting to get a picture but she had to leave before I could, which I wasn’t upset about. She needed a break, and it’s pretty wrong to have done all that to her.

[junker-town]

How the Browns and Jets could cause quarterbacks to slide in the 1st round

Could Josh Rosen really drop out of the top 10 picks?

After months of buildup, it is finally the week of the 2018 NFL draft.

At this point, most teams have gone quiet as they make any final adjustments to their draft board. And believe it or not, teams are building their own mock drafts. You’ll never see those, so mine will have to do. Here’s this week’s mock draft:

1. Cleveland Browns: Josh Allen, QB, Wyoming

I moved Allen to the first pick last week, and in this mock draft he’s staying there. There will be one final mock before the draft. It’s unknown whether or not Allen will still be here. The uncertainty is simply because of Browns General Manager John Dorsey keeping tight-lipped about what he’s doing with the top choice. Maybe in a couple days there will be clarity.

2. New York Giants: Saquon Barkley, RB, Penn State

If Dorsey is the most secretive GM in the NFL, New York’s Dave Gettleman isn’t far behind. Maybe it was a bunch of nonsense, but in his pre-draft press conference, Gettleman downplayed the need for a quarterback. If that is to be believed, the Giants should be down to picking between Barkley and defensive end Bradley Chubb.

3. New York Jets (via Indianapolis Colts): Baker Mayfield, QB, Oklahoma

This pick seems suspiciously locked in for the Jets, even if Josh Rosen or Sam Darnold are on the board.

4. Cleveland Browns (via Houston Texans): Bradley Chubb, DE, North Carolina State

If Barkley is gone, this should be a pretty easy choice for the Browns. In fact, taking Chubb is smarter than trying to get some extra picks in a trade down scenario. The trio of Chubb, Myles Garrett and Emmanuel Ogbah should be effective against AFC North quarterbacks who are older (Ben Roethlisberger), immobile (Joe Flacco) and average (Andy Dalton).

5. Denver Broncos: Sam Darnold, QB, USC

This should be the absolute latest that Darnold comes off the board. Whether it’s Darnold, Allen or Josh Rosen the Broncos may be able to find their quarterback of the future with the fifth pick. Things change if the Giants take a quarterback with the second pick.

6. Indianapolis Colts (via New York Jets): Quenton Nelson, G, Notre Dame

The Colts spent all of last season hoping that Andrew Luck could eventually return healthy. So when weighing Nelson versus a linebacker like Tremaine Edmunds or Roquan Smith, Luck’s future has to be considered. Nelson is one of the locks of this draft, and should immediately elevate the Colts’ offensive line.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Derwin James, S, Florida State

It may be a surprise to see James taken before Minkah Fitzpatrick or Denzel Ward, but sometimes the draft is just about talent and potential. James has the skills to be a superstar. In Tampa Bay he could pair with Justin Evans and give the Buccaneers an excellent you pair for years to come.

8. Chicago Bears: Roquan Smith, LB, Georgia

For as much has been made about locking Tremaine Edmunds into this pick, Smith rates higher and arguably fills a bigger need. The Bears need a player who can line up next to Danny Trevathan. That can be Smith, who also provides more as a pass rusher than you may think.

9. San Francisco 49ers: Tremaine Edmunds, LB, Virginia Tech

The 49ers have put in a lot of work on the draft’s top linebackers in the final weeks before the draft. The preference would be Smith, but the potential and athleticism of Edmunds is too high to pass up.

10. Oakland Raiders: Denzel Ward, CB, Ohio State

There’s a lot of talk about Vita Vea being the choice for the Raiders. But Ward fits arguably a bigger need and is frankly a higher-rated player. He and Gareon Conley can give the Raiders a shut down pair of cornerbacks, and would give the defense some flexibility.

11. Miami Dolphins: Minkah Fitzpatrick, S, Alabama

The Dolphins may have two safeties in Reshad Jones and T.J. McDonald, but they’re both box safeties who are lacking in coverage. Fitzpatrick should be able to play single high safety roaming in space.

12. Buffalo Bills (via Cincinnati Bengals): Josh Rosen, QB, UCLA

Theres’ been a lot swirling about Rosen, and the Bills could be the beneficiary if he slides a little bit. The Bills may still have to move up to get him, but maybe not inside the top five. That means the glut of picks Bills General Manger Brandon Beane can be used to shape the roster.

13. Washington: Vita Vea, DT, Washington

It’s hard to get off this pick for Washington. It’s a value and need choice. After Vea, the quality in draft prospects really levels off. He would be a nice pairing with Jonathan Allen. Don’t discount LSU running back Derrius Guice here.

14. Green Bay Packers: Harold Landry, Edge, Boston College

If Ward or Fitzpatrick were available, they’d be the choice for the Packers. If they’re gone, Green Bay could find an edge rusher at No. 14, whether it’s Landry or Marcus Davenport of UTSA.

15. Arizona Cardinals: Lamar Jackson, QB, Louisville

Until he doesn’t go in the first round, I’ll continue to hold out thinking that Jackson is one of the first 32 picks on Thursday. Even if you discount his talent as a quarterback, so many teams in the first round need one. That includes Arizona, which cannot go into the season relying on Sam Bradford.

16. Baltimore Ravens: Mike McGlinchey, OT, Notre Dame

Baltimore has signed three free agent wide receivers, so drafting D.J. Moore or Calvin Ridley in the first round may be overkill. If that’s the mentality for the Ravens, they could turn to McGlinchey.

17. Los Angeles Chargers: Da’Ron Payne, DT, Alabama

The Chargers were terrible against the run last season, and the best days appear to be behind nose tackle Brandon Mebane. Add on to that a four-game suspension for three-technique Corey Liuget, and a defensive lineman is an obvious for Los Angeles.

18. Seattle Seahawks: Marcus Davenport, Edge, UTSA

Seattle could go a number of directions, and the most likely one is trading down. If they hold at No. 18, the long and athletic Davenport fits the need at edge rusher.

19. Dallas Cowboys: Calvin Ridley, WR, Alabama

With Dez Bryant gone, the Cowboys need a new lead wide receiver. Ridley is the best one in the draft and would give Dak Prescott a reliable target who moves the ball up the field.

20. Detroit Lions: Maurice Hurst, DT, Michigan

If Landry or Davenport were available either would be the pick for the Lions. Other than Ezekiel Ansah, Detroit doesn’t have much pass rush. Add to that the fact that this could be Ansah’s last year in Detroit and the Lions have to find a pass rush in this draft. Hurst can provide that from the interior.

21. Cincinnati Bengals (via Buffalo Bills): James Daniels, C, Iowa

Daniels can start for the Bengals from the get go. Having Daniels and offseason acquisition Cordy Glenn will go a long way in fixing Cincinnati’s offensive line.

22. Buffalo Bills (via Kansas City Chiefs): Leighton Vander Esch, LB, Boise State

After quarterback, an inside linebacker is Buffalo’s biggest need. Although the trade talk with the Bills centers around a quarterback, it will be worth watching to see if the team makes a small move up if needed to get a linebacker. In this scenario it wasn’t necessary.

23. New England Patriots (via Los Angeles Rams): D.J. Moore, WR, Maryland

With the departure of Danny Amendola and Julian Edelman coming off injury and turning 32 in May, the Patriots could target a wide receiver early in the draft. Moore could be a star in New England thanks to his athleticism and solid hands.

24. Carolina Panthers: Josh Jackson, CB, Iowa

The Panthers would love to see a safety take a big tumble, but that may not happen. If not, Carolina needs to find a starting cornerback opposite James Bradberry. Jackson provides a lot of size and playmaking ability at cornerback.

25. Tennessee Titans: Sam Hubbard, Edge, Ohio State

New Titans head coach Mike Vrabel was involved in the recruiting of Hubbard at Ohio State and he could see a little bit of himself in the versatile Ohio State defender. Hubbard can be the edge player Tennessee needs, and he would give them a player who can line up at multiple positions.

26. Atlanta Falcons: Taven Bryan, DT, Florida

The connection of a defensive tackle to Atlanta has basically happened every week in mock drafts since December. Bryan is a little bit of a risky pick because he only had one season of production at Florida, but he flashes natural playmaking ability that can’t be coached.

27. New Orleans Saints: Josh Sweat, Edge, Florida State

New Orleans needs to find an edge player to take some of the pressure off Cameron Jordan. Although Sweat has battled injuries throughout his career, his size and athleticism at the position are often too hard to pass up.

28. Pittsburgh Steelers: Rashaan Evans, LB, Alabama

The Steelers would probably love to see Vander Esch available at No. 28, but Evans isn’t a bad fall back option. At Alabama Evans played both outside and inside and gives the Steelers someone who can stop the run and occasionally get after the quarterback.

29. Jacksonville Jaguars: Will Hernandez, G, UTEP

The en vogue choice of the back half of the first round, Hernandez is a perfect fit in Jacksonville. He could take over the right guard spot and give Jacksonville one of the league’s best interior offensive lines.

30. Minnesota Vikings: Isaiah Wynn, G, Georgia

If Wynn slips, the Vikings shouldn’t hesitate to pick him up at No. 30. Wynn can help protect the investment in Kirk Cousins and could play guard or tackle in the NFL.

31. New England Patriots: Connor Williams, OT, Texas

At this time last year, people were starting to project Williams as a top 10 pick in the 2018 draft. Williams had an off season, but if one team can get him figured out it’s the Patriots. If he can revert to his old form, Williams could end up being the best offensive tackle from this year’s draft.

32. Philadelphia Eagles: Derrius Guice, RB, LSU

The Eagles are in an interesting spot at No. 32. With no picks on the second day of the draft, chances are high the team will move down. If not, they could go after a running back in the first round.