#Do I need to think of myself less? Yes. 1000%

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Taiwan has one show, but that's all they need

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

April 2024 Wk 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - I don’t say this often but I LOVE this love triangle. The longing gazes = chef's kiss. I like that we are finally getting flashbacks to Tai’s side of the love affaire. This show remains highly engaging. So pleased for MaxNat.  

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 5 of 8 - More lesbians! Yay! Meanwhile, when our leads make up they make out! (Yes I’m proud of myself.) I think this might be BLs first rooftop sex scene. We’ve reached new heights, BLabies. (Yes I’m proud of that too.) Anygay, basically a soap opera at this point, I'm not thrilled but I don’t mind.

"Do you apologize for being straight?"

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - It was lovely. Very well done celebrity leaving the closet ep. Nice ensemble work too. Next week is doom! As expected. 

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 1 of 12 - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. It’s fine but overly very pulp feeling for something from GMMTV. I'm a little concerned.

1000 Years Old (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - meh.

To Be Continued (Sat C3 Thailand grey) ep 7 of 8 - Never turned up on my usual sites. So will have to wait until next week. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 7 of 11 - Qian was, indeed, the one who couldn’t let go. This show is fucking fantastic. It's the best thing I'm watching right now by a mile.

Jazz for Two (Korea Gaga/grey) eps 3-8fin - The bully and the blue-haired drummer side pairing were great. I hated the father. Hated him so much. Our main tsundere seme was a bit too tsundere for me. I was v annoyed by the time he finally softened. I'm amused by all the ways they finagled boys kissin-but-not-kissing in the first half of this show. 2024's "pan around the back of the head" has now become a "dipping of the brolly." We did, however, eventually get an okay kiss.

Honestly?

This was basically what I wanted from Given and didn’t get. So I’m pleased. The music still wasn't great, but you can skip those bits. A solid enemies to lovers BL, where the sins of brothers' past haunts the present. Great optics, decent chemistry, and a tidy script even if tsundere characterization went a bit extreme in some cases. 8/10 RECOMMENDED trigger for suicide

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - We got the past betrayal in detail and it was decently bad. Bitterness understood. Too soon to live together! The BL U-Haul strikes again. I do like their weird curry passive aggressive argument. This is an interesting show. Do I LOVE it? No. But I think I like it.

On a not-really-related note: adoption, including adult adoption, is actually pretty common in Japan (comparatively). It's often tied to business scionism.

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 8fin - It all turned out to be a tragic GL in the end. Not BL = not my problem. No rating. I will forget its existence right about… now. 

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 1-2 of 12 - Okay, weirdly kinky with the head scratching. Not much has happened and I’m not wild about what has. 

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

We Are (Weds GMMTV iQIYI) ep 1 of 16 - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN but I need my other computer and I'm traveling as usual. So I'll get caught up next week and probably won't regularly be able to watch this one.

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) - It's too much for me to keep up with 2 minute verticals, I don't have that kind of TikTok endurance training.

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - Completed. Worth watching?

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) 6 eps - It’s so boring DNFed at 2.

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) 6 - The problem with situational comedy BL is it must be situational, comedic and a BL. This show gets 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. Dropped at 3.

In the news

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari is getting the undeserved honor of Furritsubs. Follow them for details. Tip 'em if you like 'em. (Will I watch it? Oh, probably. Damn it.)

Then Next Prince turned out to be a trailer only. Word on the webs is we will be lucky if we get it this year. It’s BL Princess Diaries. Jimmy has a new pairing (that boy from Night Dream) which is... interesting. All in all, this show does not look good. Pretty but not good.

Next Week Looks Like This:

4/11 Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea ????) 4 eps - SooHyuk is only just surviving and reunites with YoonDae, an old friend. They end up living together. One of the leads is played by Choco of Choco Milk Shake.

4/12 Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why, they fall in love along the way. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake.

Still to Come in April

4/18 At 25:00, in Alaska AKA 25 Ji, Akasaka de (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn. I think I've seen this before (joke) and also the trailer doesn't inspire confidence.

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks well complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner) and Best, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

See City of Stars & Unknown.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[veren-cos]

You Will Be Okay

Astarion (Bg3) x reader

TW: Mentions of Self Harm. Do not read this if this will trigger you or make you uncomfortable. If you struggle with self-harm or suicidal thoughts, I strongly recommend you reach out to someone.

Over 1000 words. Probably. I don't know how to get a word count in my notes app 😭

Not proof read

"I think I hate myself." It slipped out. Fuck. It slipped out, you didn't mean to say that. Not right now. Not when everything was going so well?

Astarion stood there, tensed up. "What?" His face was flickering between concern, and confusion, and... whatever else that was.

You weren't going to repeat it. You couldn't. You were already panicking from saying it once, you couldn't imagine saying it again. Much less having a conversation about this. "I need to go." You said, too loud for talking, but too quiet to be considered a yell.

"OH no you don't" He grabbed you by the wrist as you were turning out the door. "We need to talk about this."

"I can't. No... No. No no no no nonono I can't—I can't do this. I can't do this astarion not today not toda-" You were pulling away, but that only tightened his grip. He pulled you into a hug. And although it was a loose one, it still made you feel trapped.

"Okay. Compromise. You've shown me how important those are." You looked at him, still panicked, but you were willing to hear him out. "You can go. But!"

Of course there was a but.

"only if I come with you. And!"

Another condition?

"Only if we talk about it when we come back. We don't have to talk at all while we are out. I'd prefer it, but it isn't a necessity. I just need you to not be alone. Either way, someone needs to be with you. Whether it's me, or say... one of our other companions? If you don't want this to linger in the air? I'm sure anyone of them would be happy to accompany you for an outing."

He was being. Suprisingly considerate about this. Accommodating. But now was not the time. You needed out, now.

You pulled out of the hug, fast. Not that it wasn't appreciated, but it was starting to feel more suffocating. "Alright. Alright. Okay. Yes. Fine. Good. Great. Awesome!" You felt a touch on your hand again. "Okay. Hoooo" you let out a breath. Then took a few more deep ones. "I'll take Gale. Is that okay? I mean you can come too but I really, really don't want to talk about this and if you're there I know I'll want to and I really can't." Your words were getting faster the more that came out. You took another breath, "But I will when we get back. Okay?"

"Okay. Be safe, I'll be around. I love you" Astarion sqeezed your hand tight, and then let go. He followed you and Gale out of camp, grateful (for once) that you and him were close.

Once Astarion saw you and Gale off, he made his way back his tent. Considering you weren't feeling the best, he knew he had roughly an hour to prepare.

You hated yourself? Blasphemy. Well... not blasphemy. He had seen you, the faint scars in the most random of places. Places that would be too well protected to be done by an enemy. The scars and cuts—just deep enough to have been recent, the constant torn skin around your fingertips. So he supposed he should have already known, but he didnt know you still felt this way.

He had plenty of experience hating himself, but he didn't dwell on it like you did. He swallowed his hatred and turned to bad habits - habits you were helping him fix. Now it was his turn to help you.

He had begun by cleaning. It wasn't necessarily messy, but he had seen your belongings and how they had gotten out of order. Once everything was in its proper place, he started to plan how to tackle this.

It wasn't something to be taken lightly, and it wasn't something that would be solved in a day. This conversation was a start, but it certainly wouldn't be the end. What did he bring up? How much could you handle? Did he mention that he had his suspicions, or did he leave that alone? Gods, this was hard. You've seemed so put together on your journey that he thought this was resolved a long time ago. When was the last time you'd hurt yourself?

Nothing much got accomplished in that hour, not that he could without you there. And before he knew it, you were home.

You sat down on a cushion, not having the luxury of a chair at the moment, and looked into Astarion's eyes. You knew you had to be the one to start this conversation. You knew it, but that doesn't mean you had to like it.

"Thank you," Astarion raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "for giving me space."

He gave a light smile, "of course. You have done the same for me countless times, and I know how hard these things can be. I will never pressure you into an immediate conversation. But, my dear, we need to talk about this. You can't be hating yourself. You are wonderful. I know some simple words of praise won't wash this away, but I need you to know that you are good."

Astarion came to sit next to you, close enough where you could feel his presence, but not be overwhelmed.

Feelings were bubbling up. Everything was coming up. You could feel tears start to stream down your face, falling whenever your breath shook your entire body with force. "I just hate everything. I hate myself. So much. Astarion, you don't know what things were like for me before. I was pitiful. You wouldn't have even spared me a thought."

You inturupted yourself with near hysterical sobbing. The thought of not being with him was too much to bear with all your emotions. "Go on. It's safe. You are safe here" He placed his hand atop yours and gave it a squeeze, like earlier.

"I. Uhm. I used cut myself. A lot. I know you've seen the reminents of it. I just." You took a minute to catch your breath before continuing. "I just couldn't tell you. Because there wasn't even a good reason for it."

"I didn't like the way I felt. I didn't like the way I looked. The way I acted? I felt like such a burden to everyone. And now I'm such a burden to you? And I know you'll just say that I'm not, but I should have been able to resolve this on my own. If I'd had my way, you would have never found out and thought my scars were from some brave battle. It wasn't a brave battle. It was self loathing."

You took another crying break. How long was this going to go on? How much of your guts would you spill before you broke?

"And I still think of it. All the time. I still hate myself. I still feel the urge to destroy myself in the only way I know how. But I can't afford to. I'm trying so hard to stay put together for everyone here. I want you all to live. But I really don't want that for myself."

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit, shit! Well now he knows everything. No turning back. Not that there was before, but your in too deep to even try and bury this.

He was sitting in front of you. You saw he was taking in everything you were saying at lighting speed, but you couldn't tell what he was thinking. He just kept rubbing circles into your palm, and handing you tissues at the appropriate moments.

You paused a bit too long for it to be considered normal in a conversation, so he urged you to continue. "Darling, I won't judge. It's okay, you can keep going."

You once again took some deep breaths. "I uhm... I tried to kill myself a while back? It didn't work, clearly, but the thought of it never truly went away. I uhm.

...

I still.. want to? And it's not that I'm unhappy, don't get me wrong! Every moment of joy has been genuine. But it's all being muffled by a blanket of sorrow and despair? That is dramatic oh hells. But yeah. I think uh. I think it's all out now?"

You sighed, both scared and relieved. You didn't want him to think that you didn't love him just because you didn't want to be here. You loved him so much it was probably one of the few things keeping you. Not that you would tell him. That is too much of a burden to put on one person.

So this is what you've been thinking. It explained a lot. The seemingly random guilty looks, and the distance whenever he tried to get closer. He had stopped pursuing you as a form of protection and deceit a while ago, but he had always thought that was the reason for your distance.

Now it was his turn for the big breaths. "My love." He drawled out the endearment. "It's okay. You're okay. We will get through this. You will get through this. Can I hug you?"

You nodded before he grasped you tightly.

"I'm right here. And I will be with you every step. Every setback you have. You can fall back on me"

He stroked through your hair once again, holding you tight into his chest, "Thank you for telling me. Now, this will be something that comes up every once in a while, okay? I know it won't be a comfortable topic but check-ins are necessary. I need to know how you're doing, because," He paused just enough for dramatic flair, "Whatever would we do without our fearless leader!"

It had managed to calm your tears, if only a little. Just what he had hoped for. The smallest laugh that escaped your breath was music to his ears, even between the hics and gasps as you recovered your breath.

"I just want you to know that I'm trying. I'm trying so hard. The feeling comes and goes. And right now is just a time where I need to be around people more. I need more support. But I'll be okay. So if you'll still have me..?"

Ugh, Idiot! Why would you say that last bit. He would never-

"I would never leave you over this darling! What do you take me for? If anything, this is just an excuse for me to constantly drape my arms around you. Whisper into your ear..."

He stands up and struts behind you. Wrapping his arms around you, he whispers, "tell you how much I care. How much I love you." And you smiled. Hells, you let out a laugh.

"See aren't I just amazing? Can make your mood with just a few words. I love you." He smirked, letting out the last bit of tense breath against your neck as he set his head on your shoulder. "I love you," he whispered again.

"I love you too, Astarion"

That day, he didn't let you go once. He stayed right by your side. You went out of your tent for dinner, and found that while you napped, Astarion told Gale to make your favorite. You don't often get nights of calm, but despite the rocky start, today was good.

Things were said, and things were learned, but everything would be okay.

You will be okay.

Author's Note: Please, once again, if you struggle with self harm or suicidal thoughts, reach out to someone. Things do get better, I promise you. There are many help lines and local resources, a quick search on Google will pull them all up.

If there is a way I can better phrase the trigger warning, please let me know. No one had any suggestions on my last one, so I'm going to assume that it was okay.

[daydreamgoddess14]

Support System pt. 7

MASTERLIST

CH1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6

Roy Kent x Reader

Little wait for this one, I wanted Chapter 6 to marinade a bit 😂

More spicy spice so enjoy!

Chapter 7

The next day you were again woken shortly before 4am again with a breathtaking kiss.

“Oi, not fair. Did you know I’m statistically less prepared to defend myself from some weirdo attacking me at this stupid time in the morning?” You roll over, mumbling into the pillow. You remember that he doesn't even need to be awake, "also, why the hell are you awake? Go back to sleep. You’ve got a match later." He doesn't respond, so you open one eye, 

"How do you know that?" He asks, pulling you against him. 

"Saw it on Tiktok. Sleep now." You nudge him, wiggling back down. 

"Stop wiggling." He says, his voice low in your ear. You stop, and close your eyes but after a few minutes it's clear that you are, unfortunately, awake. You sigh. "What now?"

"You woke me up." You complain. “If you think I’m going to be woken up at 4am every morning, you are very much mistaken,” he slips a hand over your thigh, pulls your leg up and hooks it back over his own, opening you up to him. His hand comes back around to your centre, “I will just never spend a night with you again and-” you cut off with a gasp as he slips two fingers inside you and pumps so agonisingly slowly,

“You were sayin’?” He kisses the back of your neck and you arch your body towards him.

“I’m not staying again.”

“No?” You feel him rock hard against your back and your willpower is all but gone. “Sure about that?”

“No, ohhh fuck, Roy-”

“No,” he laughs softly, “didn’t think so.” You roll onto your back and pull him over you, pressing your heels into the back of his thighs to guide him into you. It’s still so dark in his room that you can hardly see him so you let your hands lead you. Up his arms, over his broad back, down to squeeze his thigh, back up and into his hair. He matches you with each roll of your hips. It’s slow and lazy and there’s so little space between you both that the friction is to die for. The darkness makes you both quieter, his whispered affirmations, praise and moans are dizzying. He takes you over the edge with him and you’re both asleep again almost instantly.

~~~~~~~~

Roy had suggested that you stay again. He had said that while pressed against the glass of a shared shower with you on your knees for him, though. His hands had tangled in your hair and he'd garbled promises you weren't sure he'd remember in five minutes, let alone five hours so you weren’t actually sure where you were staying that night. You were going to the match at midday with Sara and Phoebe which meant coded conversations over Phoebe’s head.

“Go on then.” She prompts.

“What?”

“No.” She points, “no. I got blank stares from him yesterday until I mentioned your name and he went all doe eyed. What’s going on?”

“If you’ve spoken with him then surely you already know?” You suggest, trying not to smile. She glares at you and you’re suddenly worried that she’s not ok with any of this. “Ok, fine. I popped in to see him the other night after I’d taken Lex to her dads… I may have stayed the night. And last night as well. And possibly tonight - yet to be confirmed.” You had to whisper most of your reply so Phoebe didn’t catch on. “Shit, are you mad?"

"No! Fuck, sorry, it's the Kent genes - resting bitch face. God, I'm not mad! I have like 1000 questions - at least 997 I don't want to know the answer to since,” she dropped to a dramatic whisper, “he's my brother.” She grinned and gestured down to Phoebe, “She’s going to be so happy!” She mouthed. “Are you ok? I mean, I’m assuming the answer is yes, since you stayed more than one night and didn’t leave immediately?” She cackled. You nod, stealing a glance down at the pitch as the halftime whistle sounds. Roy turns to the stands as the teams filter off the pitch to catch your eye.

“Yeah, so far so good. It’s… different.” Sara cocks an eyebrow.

“Now I’m in torn territory - do I want to know or not?” You wave her off,

“No! I mean, yes, that’s very different too - I’m not used to feeling so…” you flap your hands around a bit, trying to find the right words, “wanted?” you whisper. “In all ways. But y’know, it’s very, very early days. I have no idea what’s going to happen, or how it’s going to go. I’m just trying to protect myself, and Lexie.” She smiles at you,

“I think you wouldn’t have gone over there if you were that unsure. You wouldn’t just, y’know, do that with anybody. And neither would he.” She points out.

“Yeah?”

“Remember what we said at the beach? Honestly, that’s not his style.” You know it’s true so you concede and carry on with watching the match. The team wins - they’re so close to winning the whole thing, the whole town feels like it’s on tenterhooks.

“Congratulations.” You smile after the match, you can see in how he clenches and unclenches his fist that he wants to touch you, but Phoebe is bouncing up and down on his other arm chattering on about how she can’t wait to see Jamie. 

“We’re going back to mums, you coming?”

“Only if you want me there?” Phoebe spots Jamie through the crowd and races after him, Sara has to book it after her. His hand finds the small of your back guiding you over to them,

“I want you every fucking where.” He whispers in your ear as you reach the others. You have a fun but fraught afternoon, Jamie comes too and you can see how he keeps engaging Phoebe. You're not sure whether it’s a help or hindrance having him around. He keeps Phoebe and her nan occupied enough that Roy can use any excuse to find little ways to touch you, but he’s also very perceptive and can’t seem to fathom why one of Phoebe’s friend’s mums is there. Sara claims you as her best friend and it appeases him. You’re very nearly caught with Roy’s hand halfway up your top in the far end of the kitchen but just as Jamie is about to turn and see you, Phoebe calls out to him to get his attention. By the time he turns back around, there’s a couple of strategic metres between you both. Your phone buzzes late on with a message. 

Please tell me you’re stopping at mine again. You smirk and fire off a reply,

Is that you asking nicely?

I asked nicely this morning

Surprised you can remember anything you said this morning

I remember everything about this morning

You look up to see him trying to hide a smile behind his beer bottle. You’re barely inside the front door when he’s backing you against the wall and there’s probably some kind of record beaten in just how quickly he makes you come.

~~~~~~~~

The kids are back at school, you haven’t enjoyed a 4am wake up for three days, you’re still jobless, you’re expected at a gala with Roy’s co-workers in two days, and you still haven’t found anything to wear. He’s offered his card (multiple times) for you to ‘buy whatever the fuck you want as long as I can take it off’. Switchover day for Lexie is tomorrow, closely followed by the gala. It’s been a busy few days so despite school runs you haven’t even seen Roy for a good few days. Sara has collected Lexie on your behalf so you swing by on your way home to pick her up. You peek around to say hello to the girls sprawled out on the sofa and then you’re dragged to the far end of the kitchen.

“So the Gala huh?"

"He told you?"

"He said you were stressing over what to wear, suggested I take you to find something while he hangs out with the kids this evening." At that, the front door opened. "I'll let you have a couple of minutes alone since you haven't seen each other for such a long time." She rolled her eyes in jest. 

"You're both sneaky." You point out as Roy's arms wrap around you. 

"Not true," he says into your ear. "Thanks, dickhead." He smiles at his sister. Sara gives him a little salute and grabs some snacks to take to the girls. You turn in his arms, "Fuck, I missed you."

"I missed you. Had to watch that press conference for a fix, and then you made me cry." You laugh. 

"I need to try and keep my hands off you for half a week. Think I’ll manage as long as they're on you as much as possible for the other half a week."

"Deal." You may have been apart for half a week, but you've spoken every day. 'Lexie' days are in his calendar for at least the next few weeks. "I have a big problem." You whisper, he looks down between you both making you snigger. "No, you idiot. My problem is that it's been way too long since you last kissed me."

"Shit, that is a big problem," he agrees.

"It gets worse," you pause for dramatic effect, "If you do it now, I'm not going to want you to stop and we'll get in trouble with your sister and the kids."

"I mean, that sounds like a problem for you more than me. Cos I'm going to fucking kiss you anyway."

"You have to be in charge of stopping then." He's halfway to kissing you when he stops, 

"I think I like the sound of that a bit too much." You smirk and meet him in the middle, snaking your arms around his neck.

“Right, that’s time up.” Sara came back through with her eyes covered. “We’ve got to go and get you something wonderful to wear.” Roy reluctantly lets you go with a final kiss, and then goes to make his presence known with the girls. You’re barely out the door when they’ve put a tiara on his head.

~~~~~~~~

You’re not having much luck with a dress.

“This one?” You step out of the changing room for what feels like the millionth time.

“Nah, too plain.”

“I hate this. Is it too late to just not go?” You go back behind the curtain and take the dress off. There’s two more left to try, one baby pink and one royal blue. Chelsea blue you think, taking the dress from the hanger.

“You can’t not go, he wants you there. Plus, think of the afterparty” She winks before making a fake vomiting sound. “God, it pains me to have to think about my brother in this context.”

“Ha! Sorry. Oh holy fucking shit.” You squeak.

“What? Ugh it’s not the pink one is it? I only picked that one up because the sales assistant suggested it. Is it gross?” She laughs. You step out of the changing room and her jaw drops. “Fucking hell. Hang on, stay there, what’s your shoe size?”

“6, why?” She disappears back into the shop and is back in a matter of seconds,

“I saw these on our way in here. They’re perfect.” She hands you the highest gold glitter heels you’ve ever seen and you step up into them, holding her hands for balance. She steps well back to take in the full effect. “That’s it - that’s the one. And it’s Chelsea blue, he’s going to lose his fucking mind.” You look in the full length mirror,

“The slit?”

“Is perfect, stop worrying.”

“The neckline?”

“He’s seen you naked love, it’s perfect. You are wearing the shit out of it.”

“It costs half my mortgage Sara!” You look at the tag.

“If I recall correctly, I’m under strict instructions to tell you - and this is word for word, obviously, ‘that’s not your fucking problem, buy the dress’. Such an eloquent man, my brother.” You’re torn,

“I’m not a charity case Sara,”

“I know. Look, he does this, it’s not about the money or thinking you're not independent or any of that shit. What it boils down to for him is that he’s taking away something that’s worrying you - he does it for me. Like picking Phoebe up from school for me, or training Jamie at 4am every sodding day. He finds the thing that’s worrying the people he cares about, and he tries to fix it.” Your eyes swim with tears and you hold your hands up in defeat.

“Ok, I get it. Worry eliminated.”

“Atta girl. Now, let’s go home.” 

“I got rejections from the two interviews I had last week.” You tell her suddenly, the words tumbling from you.

“Ohh lovely, come here,” she pulled you into a hug and you cry on her shoulder,

“I just feel like such an idiot, why did I quit with nothing to go to? And I don’t want Roy to think I’m some sort of golddigger.”

“Why would he think that? He might be a total knob sometimes, but he’s not an idiot. I take it you haven’t told him yet?” You shake your head. 

“Come on. Let’s go, a Roy Kent cuddle makes everything better.” You smile at her,

“A Sara one is pretty good too. Thank you.”

Roy has one child snuggled up on either side of him with a bowl of popcorn on his lap and Encanto on when you get back to Sara’s. You manage to take a very quick photo before any of them spots you. 

“Mum!”

“Hiya poppet. Ready to go?”

“I’ll take you.” You flash him a smile,

“Thank you.” You pack Lexie’s stuff up and say goodbye to Sara and Phoebe, and are outside your front door all too soon. For some reason, Lexie is lingering around the front door so you're forced to wave Roy off with a smile.

“Laters Lex.”

“See ya Roy,” she grins at him. He disappears up the path and you start hustling her upstairs to get ready for bed. She’s still jumping on your bed when the door goes again.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back - start getting ready for your bath please.” You nip down the stairs and pull open the door. Roy Kent is back on your doorstep. “Oh my god, are you the Roy Kent? The really fit coach for Richmond?” You ask excitedly.

“Depends, can I have a kiss if I say yes?”

“Depends how long you make me wait for another one.”

“Tomorrow any good for you?” He leans on the doorframe.

“I can do tomorrow.”

“Good.”

“Good.” You tug at the bottom of his t-shirt and he steals an arm around your back to pull you into a deep, crushing kiss.

“Tomorrow?” He asks when he’s finally let you go. You can hear Lexie still jumping on the bed upstairs. You let your fingertips brush against the soft skin of his stomach underneath his t-shirt, making him shiver.

“See you tomorrow.” You give him a final kiss and let him go.

~~~~~~~~

You don't have to look far to see him the next evening, but it's still a surprise - he's parked up at the station and is out of the car, leaning against the door waiting to pick you up.

"Get in the fucking car." He grins, pulling you into a kiss as soon as you are in arms reach. "Ted had to ask me three times today if I was paying attention." You turn in your seat to look at him fully,

"Oh come on, that's bullshit!"

"It's true. Had to threaten to punch dicks - they all said I was too fucking happy and I was being 

weird. I think Jamie’s onto me."

"Uhoh. Is the grumpy persona being destroyed?"

"Only around you." He puts a hand on your thigh while he drives, stopping off at yours. “Get some stuff, I don’t want to have to lose you for an hour every bloody morning.” He grumbles. You collect the things you know you’ll need. When you get to his place, he's already cooked.

"I could get used to this," you tease. "So this gala," you ask over some gorgeous Mediterranean vegetable dish, "your co-workers will all be there?"

"They will." He confirms, waiting for you to continue. 

"And your ex?" you add quietly. 

"Keeley will be there, yes." You nod, pushing your food around your plate. 

"I met her once." He's still watching you, dinner finished with. 

"Yeah?"

"I had to run an event she came to for work. She was really sweet." 

"She is. I think you'll like her." He smiles reassuringly.

“And you're sure you want me to meet these people? Your people?”

“Yes, I am.” He said firmly. “You don’t have to tell any of ‘em about us - tell them whatever you want. They can take the piss out of me as much as they like. I really don't give a shit." He continues to reassure you in a number of exhilarating ways for the rest of the night. He leaves you at 4am yet again with a kiss that has your body clenching on nothing, desperate again for his touch. You’re half awake when he returns at 6 but it’s a horrible day outside already so he lets you know he’s going straight in the shower. You can hear the kettle, so you pull on the t-shirt he’s just taken off so you can go downstairs to make tea for you both. It’s not familiar, it’s an old Richmond home shirt. When he comes down, your leaning over the counter on your elbows  reading from your phone and making notes on a scrap of paper while the tea brews. His arms circle you and to your surprise, you feel him press against you.

“Wow, hi.” You turn to face him with a little laugh.

“You’re wearing m’name,” he manages to say gruffly before kissing you roughly. 

“Sorry, I just grabbed it to come down here, I’ll take it-”

“No.” He stops you, “No.” He says more firmly. He rests his forehead against yours, his hips still against you. Oh. It dawns on you. Oh. You kiss him briefly, nodding your understanding and turn back around for him, resting on your forearms. “Fuck,” you hear him, so quietly, “fuck. You wreck me.” He slips inside you with no real warning, filling you completely. He sets a wickedly punishing pace, the angle has you an incoherent mess and makes you come almost instantly. It’s fast and rough and utterly filthy, your name spills from him like a worshipping chant as he comes, dragging another orgasm from you as he does. When you’re able to stand, you turn back to him. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, his hands soothing the bruises he’s no doubt left on your hips. “Sorry, I didn’t mean-” he starts to say, you shake your head,

“No. Don’t be sorry, don’t be. I’d tell you if I wasn’t ok with something, ok?” You reassure him with a kiss.

[angelst4re]

COULD YOU POSSIBLY MAKE A SWITCH!JACE FIC PLEASE???

YES <33 i also combined this with a request i got from the lovely @mikqls0n so i hope you like it!! :)

Beg- Jace (he has so many last names) x Reader

summary: you and jace have been together for years, you're now married and you even have a child together, so when jace begins to spend all his time with clary after she came to the institute, you get a bit jealous

warnings: this is all smut. there's plot in the summary but it isn't mentioned much in the fic. just smut.

notes: i have rewritten this 1000s of times because i've not liked how it was so here's the version i was slightly happier with :) it's unedited (of course!) and i feel like it's rushed but other than that it's okay!

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You and Jace have been together forever, basically. You could even go as far as saying you were childhood sweethearts. You met him when he first came to the institute, and you would never have imagined you would have gotten married or even had a baby with him. But here you were.

This is why it came as a surprise when he began spending less time with you, and more time with the new girl at the Institute. Clary Fray.

This instantly caused you to dislike her. You would shoot her dirty looks from across the breakfast table and just generally make her life a living hell whilst she was staying at the Institute. You couldn’t blame her for thinking Jace was attractive, because that was just a basic fact. What you had a problem with was how she would ask him to go with her when she went anywhere. When she had to pay a visit to the silent brothers Jace was there, when Simon was taken by the vampires Jace went with her to find him, she could have taken Alec or Isabelle! (Although they also seem to have mixed feelings about her.)

However, you and Jace finally had a day to yourselves at the Institute as your daughter was at school, Alec and Isabelle were visiting their dad and Clary was watching Simon’s band perform. You knew you had to say something to him about Clary, but you weren’t sure how to begin, or whether it would cause an argument. In the end, you didn’t need to worry as he asked you,

“Why do you hate Clary so much?”

“What do you mean?” You shook your head, “who said I hate her?”

“Nobody said it, but it’s so obvious. What has she ever done to you?”

“I feel like she’s… I don’t know, it’s like you’re spending more time with her than you are with me. Do you not like me anymore, is that it?” You begin, fuelled by anger you don’t realise you were cornering Jace, making him back up to the bedroom door, “it’s like ever since Clary came along you’ve thrown everything else away, including me.”

“You know that isn’t true, sweetheart. She can never compare to you, you know I love you more than I have ever loved anyone, anything. If I wanted to leave you for her- which would never happen- then I would just do it. I wouldn’t mess you around, okay?”

“I don’t believe you.” You simply stated, tilting your head slightly as you spoke, a sudden shift in the air caused you to have an idea, “prove it to me.”

“What do you mean-”

“Don’t make me repeat myself, Jace.”

You almost gave up your act when he placed his hand on your waist, his other hand on your face as he closed the space between you, crashing his lips into yours, knocking the breath out of your lungs. You spun around, pushing him towards the bed without breaking this kiss.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and you sat on his lap, straddling him as his hands roamed your body. You slid your hand down from his chest to just above the waistband of his black joggers before slowly going down further, palming his growing erection, causing a moan to slip from his lips, followed by your name.

You grinned as your lips came back to his, this time the kiss was a lot more passionate, less rushed and less sloppy. You began to work on pushing his joggers down his legs, followed by his underwear, letting his hard, throbbing cock out of the restraints of his clothing.

You wasted no time in wrapping your hand around him, pumping his cock at a painfully slow pace.

“Darling,” he whispered against your lips, “faster.”

“Not unless you beg for it, baby.” You smirked, continuing at the pace you had set.

You heard him let out a groan, you had never taken the dominant role before, you had always left that to him as it would never fail to make you a wet, whimpering mess, but something about this gave you a thrill. You wanted to hear him beg for you. Not for Clary. You.

“Fuck, I need you to go faster, angel. Please, please.”

His eyes were screwed shut and his head was thrown back as you began to move your hand faster, your thumb grazing the sensitive tip of his cock with each pump. You wished you could engrave this moment into your mind, you never wanted to forget this moment.

“What do you say, pretty boy?” You asked him, beginning to climb off of his lap and knelt between his legs on the floor, getting ready to take him into your mouth. However, he was still stuck in the pleasure of your hand, so he hadn’t realised the change in positions.

“Thank you, baby. Thank you.”

“Good boy.” You smiled before letting your tongue trace one of the twinning veins on the underside of his cock before taking the tip into your mouth and gently suckling on it, your eyes locking with his.

He felt an intense wave of bliss flow through his body when you took him into your mouth. His hands came down to your hair, he was going to hold it in place as you bobbed your head, taking his cock deeper and deeper down your throat, but you grabbed his wrists and placed his hands on his thighs, holding them in place.

You fought against your gag reflex, digging your fingernails into his wrists as you tried to hold back from coughing and gagging around his dick, but then you felt him twitch in your mouth, a non-verbal signal of telling you he was about to cum.

You took him out of your mouth, allowing yourself to let out a quiet cough as you wrapped your hand back around him. His hips began to move, causing him to thrust up into your hand as he got closer and closer to coming undone, until…

“Are you close, baby?” You asked, tilting your head as you looked at him, waiting for a response.

“Yes- Oh, fuck! Please, please let me-”

Just as he was about to finish, you stopped touching him entirely. You moved your hand from his wrist and the other from his cock. There was a look of fury mixed with betrayal in his eyes.

“Sorry, baby,” you tried to maintain your act, but it was failing, he could see your attitude was shifting, in a matter of seconds you would give in. You would do anything for him.

“That was a bad idea, sweetheart.” He chuckled, grabbing your arms and pulling you up from the floor before pulling you down onto the bed. You had always admired his incredible strength, but sometimes it happened to work against you, and you would curse him for it. “Such a fucking bad idea.”

He tugged your shorts down your legs, followed by your panties. He chuckled as he ran a finger through your slick folds, not caring for your whines as you begged him to touch you.

His index finger slipped into you as he began suck on the delicate skin of your neck. Your fingers tangled into his blonde hair, which you gave a gentle tug on as his finger brushed over the delicious spot inside you, the spot only he seemed to find.

“I’d love to tease you, darling. To make you cum around around my fingers until you can’t take it anymore, or maybe to bring you to the edge and then deny you, give you nothing, but you know I’m not like that, angel.” You soon felt empty and he placed his hands on your thighs, spreading them further for him as he lined his cock up with you. Before pushing himself into you, he took your hands and placed them above your head, “I’ll let you cum on my cock, but only if you keep your hands there, okay? Think of it as my… apology.”

After you nodded your head, he wasted no time in filling you up with his cock. You couldn’t help but clench around him as he fucked into you, he left you little time to adjust to his size before he grabbed your hips and lifted you ever so slightly, allowing him to fuck into you deeper.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him in closer as he slid a hand up your t-shirt, delighted to find you had not decided to wear a bra today. He massaged the gentle flesh of your breast before lightly giving your nipple a pinch and a not so gentle tug. Your eyes fell shut as your breathing got heavier, you were unable to stop the moans from spilling from your lips as all the sensations combined.

“Keep your eyes open, darling. Need to see your face when you fall apart for me.”

“I can’t-” you panted, you felt like you were going to explode, everything had suddenly become so overwhelming, “Jace, I-I can’t.”

“Shh, I know you can, angel. You’re getting close, aren’t you?”

“Y-Yes,” you stuttered, your eyes rolling back as you screwed them shut even tighter, “I’m sorry f-for what I said.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Just remember, I’m yours. I’m not Clary’s, okay? And you’re mine, aren’t you?”

You nodded your head. All you wanted to do was wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down closer to you as you came, but you weren’t to move your arms from above your head. Although your upper body was still clothed, you felt so exposed.

“Say it.”

“I’m yours, Jace. All yours.”

As if the words held magic, you soon tumbled over the edge. Your high crashed over you and you were too blissed out to realise Jace had also come undone, painting your walls with his warm cum as his head fell to your shoulder.

You finally moved your arms, wrapping them around the man on top of you, as if you were giving him a hug, but you wanted to feel closer to him.

“I’m sorry, Jace.” You finally said, “I was being stupid earlier, with everything about Clary-”

“Don’t apologise, darling,” he whispered into your shoulder with a small chuckle, “look what it led to. Also, you’re pretty hot when you’re…”

“When I’m asking you to beg?” You smirk, “well maybe we’ll have to try that out again soon. Under different circumstances, of course.”

“Oh, definitely.” He said, peppering kisses on your collarbone, causing you to giggle as his hair tickled your face.

[ididntwanttohavetohauntyou]

On the double standards of Taylor’s love life and Swifties’ role in Taylor’s reputation

{Fair warning: this is kind of long and I actually originally wrote it during the Ratty stuff but it’s relevant now and this post from @9w1ft (specifically the tweet) made me think that maybe this needed to be really laid out there. }

Disclaimer: I am in no way claiming to know what Taylor’s sexuality is definitively, nor am I suggesting that every relationship she’s had with a man was fake, or that she is a lesbian. I myself have experienced enough bi erasure and biphobia to know better, but I had to put this out there explicitly so hetlors don’t have that as a “gotcha”.

Swifties have the lowest possible standards for whom they consider to be a boyfriend of Taylor’s.

Their standards are a) the media has to stir something up b) they have to interact distantly in some public capacity before they c) walk around together (holding hands or not).

I can give you the names so many women with whom Taylor acted like that, often for longer periods of time and with more interaction than a couple dinners and pap walks or whatever she’s done with those men. And that’s without time to go do research which would doubtlessly turn up more names.

To name some examples:

Karlie Kloss, Diana Agron, Selena Gomez, Gigi Hadid, Blake Lively, Cara Delevingne, Martha Hunt, Sophie Turner, Lorde, all three Haim sisters, Zoe Kravitz, Emma Stone, Camila Cabello, Lily Aldridge, Lily Donaldson.

(To be clear, I’m not suggesting that Taylor dated all or most of those women.)

Now, I have no doubt that if most swifties looked up photos of Taylor with a lot of those women they’d go “they aren’t even doing anything in that picture” or “they’re just walking side by side” or whatever else.

THAT’S THE POINT

I’m 1000% sure that if you photoshopped a man into basically any of those pics people would assume they’re dating because they’re walking together.

Almost all of Taylor’s supposed boyfriends have had significantly less interaction with her than those women, but people don’t hesitate to say she’s dating the men. Her team can and will deny it, but swifties will add a name to their list anyway, and that creates a whole other problem.

The sl*t shaming:

In my opinion, the sl*t shaming that Taylor has experienced for about the last 15 years has been, at least in part, because of swifties who jump to conclusions about men she’s seen with. When her own fans believe she’s dated however many guys, it’s that much easier for the media to repeat that and twist it to be negative.

If you wouldn’t look at a random guy and girl standing within a few feet of each other or walking together and come to the conclusion that they must be dating, why do you assume that about Taylor? Or, for that matter, does every person of the opposite gender that you associate with have to be your SO?

[And yes that can easily be turned around on Gaylors, but the whole point is that we aren’t solely using proximity to link potential exes or lovers to Taylor. We actually do the analysis of the lyrics, we break down the connections, we do the research.]

My point is that swifties have contributed on a large scale to Taylor’s sl*t shaming in a way that should make them think twice about who they claim she’s dating. Unfortunately as we’ve seen with this M*tty situation {and now the football guy}, they don’t seem to have the self awareness to realize how they’ve aided such a disgusting campaign of hate.

One more thing: you can say that no one will say those things now anyway because Taylor is on top of the world and they wouldn’t dare sl*t shame the Queen of Pop or “The Music Industry”. You might even be right. But if you do this and feel no guilt or shame over how your actions may have played a part in the several intense periods of sl*t shaming that Taylor has gone through previously, you need to think about why that is.

Taylor said it best in her speech at the Grammy museum in September 2015. She was introducing Blank Space and talking about the situation that made her write the song.

“In the last couple of years the media have had a really wonderful fixation on kind of painting me as like the psycho serial dater girl… It got pretty out of control there for a couple of years because… every article would be like, Taylor Swift Standing Near Some Guy. Watch Out Guy!”

That sounds insane, and it was definitely worse then than it is now, but the fact that it’s happening right now at all is ridiculous. Swifties need to stop helping the media tie Taylor’s name to men as if that makes her relevant. She’s a highly awarded singer, songwriter, and performer who has set and broken records (and then broken the ones she’s set) countless times. Swifties need to stop pretending that dating someone is what makes her interesting or we’re no better than the people who think she only writes breakup songs.

[cheapshrimpysheep]

Hiiiii, congrats on the milestone!! I REALLY like your writing and I've been going through your works for some time, but it's my first time actually requesting SKSNKXAK I'm sorry if this sounds pushy or smth. If it's alright with you, can I request a platonic scenario with reader and Malleus where reader is aromantic/aroace and trying to explain to Malleus that just cuz they don't like him romantically doesn't mean they like him less. Like yk something like "I don't wanna kiss you or get married and have kids and live happily ever after, but that doesn't mean you're not the most important person in my life and I wouldn't do anything for you". This probably implies unrequited crush on Mal's side, but he gotta get over it yk yk. Once again CONGRATULATIONS you'll be celebrating 1000 followers before you know it!❤

🚫 NO Angst UNLESS it ends with fluff/comfort 

Unrequited crush falls under the category of angst, since one of the sides gets emotionally hurt. And I feel bad writing about Malleus getting hurt/sad by us (MC/Reader).

However, you didn't specifically ask for the unrequited crush. You asked for an aromantic/aroace reader. I happen to be on the asexual spectrum myself, but I'm not aromantic. So, I wondered in what scenario he would like you but not be hurt/sad by the news. And the idea that crossed my mind was: "What if he found himself also aromantic/aroace with your explanation?" So this is what I wrote. I hope I portrayed it well.

And thank you so much! 😊 I'm glad you like my writing, and I hope you keep enjoying it.

I hope you and all enjoy this one

CHARACTERS: Malleus Draconia

TAGS: GN Reader; Aromantic Reader

WORD COUNT: 560 words

You and Malleus are getting closer. And that starts to worry you. You need to tell him as soon as possible, before his feelings get too strong. You don't want to hurt him.

It's not you who finds him. It's never you who finds him. He is the one who comes to you, always. And that is what happens. You see him in front of the Ramshackle Dorm through your window. And he is smiling at you. You just hope you don't turn that smile on your sad face.

You get outside, and head over to him. He greets you with "Good night, Child of Man" and a smile. You greet him back and ask him what is he doing there? Another one of his nocturnal walks?

He confirms, and starts talking about the stars and how beautiful they are that night, making you look at them too.

You decide to start by checking if he likes you that way. “Tsunotarou, do you like me? You know... more than... a mere friend?”

He chuckles “Do you genuinely believe that I would aloud anyone call me by a name like Tsunotarou, if I dislike them? Everyone but you would suffer serious consequences if they ever addressed me in such a way. I hope this is enough to show how special you are.”

You take a deep breath “I need to tell you something.” And you explain in your own way that you really like him too. Just as you are special to him, he is special to you. But you won't be able to express it the same way as others express it. But that doesn't mean that your feelings for him are less strong than the feelings of others. You try to explain it to him as best you can.

Malleus looks pensive, hand on chin and staring at nothing. You worry about his silence. “I don't understand. I mean, I understand the concept you explained to me, but I don't understand why you felt the need to tell me this.”

You explain to him that these kinds of things should be said before the other person's feelings get too strong to hurt them. And the last thing you want is to hurt him.

He smiles. “I certainly appreciate it. But you have no need to worry about that. The truth is that what you just described is the same as I feel for you. I understand that others can show their affection in different ways. But I also don't feel the desire to demonstrate mine in the same way as others. Do people think that that makes our feelings less... valid, perhaps?”

You tell him yes, and try to explain that because most other people feel the need for these types of displays of affection, they come to believe that if you don't show them, then you don't really love them.

He goes back to looking pensive, and a little sad. He sighs “How troublesome. But fascinating. Looks like I truly still have a lot to learn. Perhaps even about myself.” he looks at you, smiling “Worry not, Child of Man. My deepest feelings are the same as yours. And if any being dares to insinuate that they are not strong enough” he raises his hand in that menacing way. “I'll show them how strong pain can feel.”

If you dropped in here out of the blue and want to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[flock-of-cassowaries]

I have pretty severe OCD, and I read an interesting post on OCD rep in Better Call Saul.

I’m not reblogging the post, because it’s an old post, I don’t think my input would necessarily make that person’s day / life better; but if I understood them correctly:

They felt that when Chuck uses his history of having OCD symptoms to manipulate Jimmy, this justifies the resentment other characters felt towards Chuck (for requiring them to accommodate him vis. his “electricity allergy”).

(For context, Chuck does this when he’s attempting to prove Jimmy’s fraud on the Mesa Verde case. )

I watched the same show, and didn’t feel this way at all.

I think it’s because I didn’t think that the resentment of the people around Chuck required justification.

I’ll preface the next part by saying that when I have been at my worst, my OCD has been as severe as Chuck’s is on the show.

My brain fixates on the possibility of germs, rather than on the dangers of electricity (though honestly, before I ever saw better call Saul, my rogue amygdala had actually briefly experimented with that exact OCD theme), but the outcomes are fairly similar.

I spent the first two years of the pandemic in a state of extremely high paranoia, refusing to leave my apartment, surrounded by $1000 worth of humming air purifiers.

It was very much Electric Blanket-era Chuck.

I think I see the resentment that the other characters (the HHM staff, and Jimmy) sometimes feel towards Chuck as reasonable, because:

I know that being around someone with severe OCD can be taxing. My own friends and loved ones are very accommodating towards and patient with me, but I know it’s not always easy, and they are probably quite frustrated, at times.

I feel that Chuck is coming from a place of extreme ego and privilege by refusing to entertain the idea that he is mentally ill; rather than asking for legitimately required accommodations in a situation of desperation, or demanding them because he has experienced a total loss of perspective, I feel that Chuck is content to impose his OCD on others. To do that protects his ego from the pain of admitting he is not in total control mentally, and is less difficult for him than the painful work of actually attempting to cope with OCD.

I see some of Chuck’s self-righteous privilege in myself, at times, but it’s very much tempered by the shame and horror I feel about asking someone to do something I know (deep down) is unreasonable. I still sometimes give into that temptation, but I try not to.

To be clear, I am not talking about instances where I have asked Unreasonable Things(tm) of people around me when I’m either:

a) so far into a spiral that I’ve honestly lost all perspective and don’t even realize I’m being unreasonable, or

b) when I can feel a bad panic-attack -type situation coming on and truly need a small-to-medium-level accommodation from a friend to arrest it

I’m not really ashamed of either of those situations. Embarrassed, yes; grateful to the kindness and patience of those who saw me through that time, yes.

But not ashamed.

What I see in Chuck, I guess, is something else; the worst possible iteration of me, perhaps.

And I guess the reason I don’t really feel that it’s unrealistic, or an unfair portrayal, is because I have known someone like that.

I have lived with a person who was like Chuck, in terms of their willingness to externalize their symptoms.

And it was fucking awful.

That person was my dad.

He almost definitely had OCD, but, like Chuck, he refused to acknowledge he was mentally ill.

He saw himself as uniquely brilliant and rational; completely in control of his own mind. Whenever his preferences clearly conflicted with what other people felt was reasonable, he blustered to the effect that he was The Only Sane Man.

Rather than admit he was anything less than entirely reasonable, he imposed his paranoia (about germs) and his preferences (for completely unblemished surfaces and surroundings) on everyone he could control (my mother and I).

It was miserable. It was unfair. It alienated everyone from our nuclear family (relatives, neighbours, and any potential friends), and it contributed a lot to my social isolation as a child.

It almost definitely also contributed a lot to reinforcing the same OCD fixations that I now struggle with, almost four decades later - symptoms that are more debilitating than any I ever saw him experience.

So yeah. That’s why I feel that Better Call Saul is not bad OCD rep.

Thank you for coming to my TedX Talk.

(Postscript: Chuck is honestly less awful than my dad. I feel a lot of sympathy for him, as a character, and was honestly shocked and upset by his death.)

(Postscript 2: I think I accepted his manipulation of Jimmy as just a manifestation of the kind of Machiavellianness that Jimmy himself often embodies. [As opposed to an indictment of people with OCD, or a vindication of everyone else’s resentment of the imposition that his symptoms represents to them.]

My dad is also highly Machiavellian, so that’s a characteristic that can definitely coexist with OCD.)

[k-s-morgan]

Reading the recent post about missile attack. I hope you've taken the necessary precautions? Like putting a tape over the windows (so that if the glass shatters the debris doesn't go flying all over the room at high speeds)? I still think you really need to move on the opposite side of Ukraine. It's just a lottery, a completely random thing - whether or not your own apartment building gets damaged. Don't put your life in the hands of luck ; (

Hi! Oh yes, of course, we've taped our windows back when the war just started. Fortunately, they remain intact for now. To protect myself from the potential debris, I follow the 'two walls' rules. I leave my bedroom, close the door, and sit in the window-less hallway. It's still possible to be hurt or even die, depending on what comes crashing into the house and at which point, but the chances of survival are very high. Honestly, in my city Kyiv, very few people died from the missile or drone hitting the apartment building. It's 1000 times more likely to get hit by a car, but such deaths still took place, and every attack is terrifying because you just never know what's about to happen.

I've been struggling with the idea of moving since the beginning :( Some people react okay to attacks, many even continue to be outside, but I can't handle it. And I understand that if this goes on for months and years, at some point, I'll just develop cancer or other serious disease just because of my frayed nerves. So living here cannot be permanent if the war is going to be endless.

The problem is that the sense of my life, my biggest purpose, is my family. And they cannot leave with me. So I have to constantly ask myself, what is more important, my sanity or my loved ones? I cannot imagine life without them, and time passes so quickly - even without war, who knows how much I have left with them? Every day with them is precious to me. It's more important than everything else.

In the end, I arrived at a compromise with myself. I started actively learning Polish now, tomorrow is my first official lesson with a teacher. In a year and a half, my father will be allowed to leave the country and my mother will be close to getting retired. If the war isn't near to being over and missiles are still being fired over us, we'll move to Poland. I'll start doing all the planning earlier so that we'd be ready. Meanwhile, during this year and a half, I might go abroad for a month at a time just to rewind and calm myself. This way, I won't leave my family for long, but I'll also take care of myself.

Thank you so much for worrying about me! I still shudder to think what might happen in the next year, but now that I have a plan in place and I started moving toward it, I see the light in the end of the tunnel, and it helps me hold on.

[itshype]

Ao3 WIP Tag Game!

I was tagged by @nonamemanga a while ago but I didn't have time to do this until now! Thank you for thinking of me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Thirty Eight! (37 on my account and 1 that is currently anonymous!)

2. What's your AO3 word count? 170,914 (oooh!)

3. What fandoms do you write for? Netflix's Wednesday (2022), DC Comics (Mostly Batman), Danny Phantom. Other fandoms I have written for but I wouldn't consider myself as currently writing for are; Disney's Descendants first film, Teen Wolf, Fantastic Beasts and where to find them the first film and Netflix's The Witcher. If we're counting my long-abandoned fanfiction account I have also written Dr Who fic, I think maybe a Sherlock one and Without a Trace (2002-2009)

4. What are your Top 5 Fics by Kudos?

In ascending order:

5) Hang On, I Still Need You (Descendants)

4) The Captivating Case of Percy’s Imaginary Date (Fantastic Beasts)

3) Bad Boys, not Bad News (Teen Wolf)

2) Espy Me, While I Watch You (Teen Wolf)

1) a language they cannot understand (Teen Wolf)

5. Do you respond to comments? If I can think of something to say! I can't always though unfortunately.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I generally write the most unrepentant fluff so I think Once Bitten, Never Shy? But I still wouldn't classify that as angst.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Again, most of them are pretty happy! I'm not going to reread 38 fics to check but the overall fluffiest, happiest AU I've written that comes to mind is The Only Garden My Heart Will Ever Grow In.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I don't think I've gotten hate in my comments but I did get an unkind comment on Tumblr fairly recently saying I needed to get a lot more feedback before publishing (I do have betas) - amongst other less friendly suggestions.

9. Do you write smut? No sorry. When reading fics I'll be like "Hmm this unsafe-kink, publicly-set, PWP is a little too vanilla." But when writing I'm like, "They kiss...with the tongue....I guess."

10. Do you write cross-overs? Yep! A bunch! I haven't always loved crossovers but over the last few years I've really come to enjoy them. On my account is a few DC x DP fics (Danny Phantom and DC Comics) and one, very poorly written Batman and The Witcher I never want to think about again.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? Niet.

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? Yes! Not all of them are published and I don't think I currently have a cowritten fic on my ao3 account but yes, as a process. I enjoy it but also find it challenging to blend writing approaches and deal with time zones.

13. What is a WIP you would like to finish but doubt you ever will? All my fics are completed. However I just begun a new AU (Wyler) that's VERY ambitious so we'll see how that goes.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? Malec. Have I ever written a Malec fic? No. Will I? Probably not. The fandom is low key intimidating. But in my heart I have so many AUs.

15. What are you writing strengths? I think my comedy and worldbuilding?? Maybe? I'd feel more confident if a reader of mine weighed in on this.

16. What are your writing weaknesses? Length. It took me almost the whole year to get to the end of A Standing Reservation in the Eye of the Storm. I'll never be one of those people who can smash out 30k in a few days.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'm not 1000% sure what this question refers to. I think it's important to check that any real-world language is written correctly. But with real-world languages AND conlangs, ensuring readability is so important. My preference is probably the sentence in English with the dialogue tags something like "he said in flawless Mando'a" but an immediate translation in parentheses at the end of the paragraph (hover text is good but doesn't work on mobile) is decent OR have the in-text reply make the dialogue fully evident:

"3456 234567 2345?"

"Oh, I love this song too, I'd love to dance with you!"

Encoded footnotes are alright, and my detested option is full separated out glossaries that give the meaning of each word used for me to string into correct order for each sentence. A headache.

18. First fandom you wrote for? Can't be sure...I think I was involved in a Five Find-Outers and Dog fanfic (not that I used that word) as a child that never made it near a computer, let alone the internet.

19. Favourite fic you’ve ever written? OH easily A million years ago, last night & at the end of all things (also known as AMYAL). The words flowed and I loved every moment. However, I did also love writing Espy Me, While I Watch You back in 2017. I wish the third story in the AMYAL verse came 1/3rd as easy.

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day? None! Often after a fic is fully published I never think about it aga...That's all a total lie and I feel sad DAILY over the complete hash I made of Pry This Home From My Cold, Dead Mountain because I loved my au so much and I failed to show anyone why. It was just NOT good.

Tagging: @suchaladyy, @cosmic-lullaby, @katwitchwriting, & @writerrose1998 + @ohnomybreadsticks (If you'd like to be tagged please lmk and I'll add you ASAP!)

[edwinspaynes]

promised myself i was going to do this high for humor value and to be edgy. and now that i am high, i will be doing it. thank you to @thevagabondexpress and @imabitchforjemcarstairs for telling me to go for it.

WHAT I THINK OF EACH BETTER IN BLACK COUPLE, IN THE ORDER THEY APPEARED ON THE ROSTER.

Wessa -> EXCITEMENT LEVEL 9/10. i always want to see more of these two and am curious about what they may do in paris. i'm picky with wessa content and very finicky with it, but i am currently cautiously optimistic about liking the story. if i do i think i will be a bit more satisfied with wessa's canon storyline/content as i want to see them in an established relationship. i'm so interested in what the little crystal ball/snowglobe on the cover means and kinda hope they get into some magical mayhem.

Clace -> EXCITEMENT LEVEL 7.5/10. I like Clace and they give me nostalgic feelings, so it will be fun to catch up with them. They're not, like, an all-time favorite ship, but I like them together and am curious what theyre like as an adult couple.

Arianna -> EXCITEMENT LEVEL 9/10. I'll admit that this ship is one i have some complicated feelings about, but i like them a lot anyway. they're one of the most interesting/compelling dynamics in the TSC canon to me even if i don't think they're thomastairherondaisy-like soulmates. i think that this story is a good choice because their story feels unfinished, and to properly conclude their storyline we need to see them have some conversations and make some compromises. i'm really rooting for them and am excited to see how their relationship works/changes.

Herondaisy -> EXCITEMENT LEVEL 1000/10. i mean, it's herondaisy. Did you really expect anything less? i'm pumped because i want to see them domestically after they acknowledge that they're married and in love. there's going to be a 2nd wedding rune scene, which is awesome and im hyped, but i also think we're probably gonna get some honeymoon adventure content of both of them and i am even MORE excited for that. i like how cordelia is running and james is reachng after her on the cover like "i love my wife she's so adventurous but come baaack. wait for meee." and YES??? good god. this one is going to be so good. and im so curious what the pomegranates are??? yeah??? i think something about being invincible because of persian myth. maybe it's because they're soulmates. an unstoppable duo. i'm gushing lol @angeldaisies @hanelizabeth. i need to stop but this will definitely happen again when i get to the thomastair story.

Sebastian and SQ -> EXCITEMENT LEVEL 8.5/10. okay i KNOW this one's controversial, and i get why one might be upset if their favourite ship did not make the cut. but like. okay. i am SO excited for this story. this is going to be DARK. this is going to be TWISTY. this is going to be the dark horse of the bunch, fundamentally fucked up and horrifying. doomed by the narrative. i'm so excited that this story is there because it's going to be so tonally unique. i think cassie wanted to write something truly fucked up, i think she has the talent to pull it off perfectly, and i am fucking pumped.

Jemma -> EXCITEMENT LEVEL 2/10 for the setting. it'll be cool seeing another institute while they're on their travel year. but otherwise i'm not vibing. i expected it fully though so it's fine, this is the only one in the set i'm considering a throwaway for me that i will for sure dislike. But that's okay! because next up is...

Thomastair -> EXCITEMENT LEVEL 1000/10. guys. look. these are the people whose love i am myself in love with. these are the people that make me believe in hope, and healing, and the power of getting better together and doing better. and we havent seen them in a lot of established relationship, so im glad to do so here. AND IN A ROMCOM. YES. and we're definitely getting content of them playing with zachary. which is like, a dream come true for me since a) i adore that kind of story, and b) zachary is such an important part of alastairs arc. i also think they're going to babysit him and everything that can go wrong will. he's lost! he's rolling away! ahhh! oh it's going to be great. like the herondaisy story this is definitely going to be beloved by me. there's no way to make me not like it. this is going to be one of my comfort stories for the rest of my life, i can tell. like nbs or cls or eet or the herondaisy story or the matthew novella. the thomastair story goes into this special and exclusive category. but yea im gushing again because they're soulmates and i love them <333

Kierarktina -> EXCITEMENT LEVEL 6/10. Yes, i am not really a kierarktina fan, but hear me out. I find their relationship interesting, and they have a lot of things that really don't work. but I think a story where they begin to unpack these differences would be astounding. Also sue me i'm interested in the horse on the cover, much like Ken in the barbie movie.

Sizzy -> EXCITEMENT LEVEL 7.5/10. another ship that while not an all-time favourite is nostalgic and beloved by me. and we've barely seen them at all since TMI, so it will be great to know what they're up to.

Lukelyn -> EXCITEMENT LEVEL 6.5/10. do i care about this couple? no. i don't dislike them, but i'm meh on them. BUT i LOVE the circle, and it said that it took place in the past. we might get another circle story! But also... i want to see Ragnor and think he might appear here??

THANK YOU!

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Reenactment

Warnings: dirty, filthy porn!!!! There is no plot here, they just fuck nasty and that's it!!! Don't read if you're a minor!!!

Other warnings: dirty talk that I hope isn't cringe, blowjobs, lingerie (kind of?), anal sex, choking, forehead ribbons, fantasies

Based off this post

I'm going to now seclude myself for 1000 years. Have fun!

Wei Ying laid on the bed in a garment so lacey and sheer it would have been an insult to even call it a robe, one of Lan Zhan's forehead ribbons tied around his neck like a collar, a pretty bow on the side. His hair cascaded down his shoulders in dark, shiny waves, and he looked both like the past and present Wei Ying, a beautiful, enticing hybrid painting Lan Zhan's deepest, darkest desires right in front of his eyes.

That was the sight Lan Zhan had been greeted with after a long day of teaching classes and grading homework for hours in the library, alone and missing Wei Ying pestering him like he would when they were young. But with the sight in front of him now, the day's weariness drained out of him just as fast as his cock filled up.

"It took you forever to come home, Hanguang-Jun!" Wei Ying admonsted him in that horny, coquettish way that was both whiny and demanding and that had Lan Zhan's patience hair thin. "I've been waiting for you naked in this bed for hours, just like you told me you used to fantasize, but I was starting to get cold, so I had to put this robe on." He flicked the material off one of his thighs, baring milky, plump skin. "Your forehead ribbon couldn't keep me warm all by itself. It needs you too. I need you too."

It was true that Lan Zhan had confided in Wei Ying one day (well, one night) what his first fantasy of him had been - but he had not expected for Wei Ying to want to reenact it (as a surprise, no less!) and to do it so closely to the picture in Lan Zhan's horny teenage mind.

"So, are you just going to stare at me? Or are you going to help me make your fantasies come true?"

Lan Zhan would have very much liked to pounce Wei Ying right then and there, but he decided he did not like being the only one being teased. So, with no particular rush, he began undressing the many layers of his Lan uniform, with only his eyes admiring Wei Ying so seductively laid out in his bed.

"Hanguang-Jun!" Wei Ying whined, louder this time, more brokenly. "Why are you being so slow? Don't you wanna fuck me?"

"Behave."

"Why would I? I like it when you discipline me~"

Lan Zhan's hands faltered a bit around the hem of one of his inner robes. He really wanted to just throw everything off his body and wreck his husband until neither of them could take anymore.

But as tempting as Wei Ying could be, Lan Zhan could reign himself in enough not to give into such impulses. After all, he was a Lan, and Lans are known for self-control. Besides, the payout would be so worth it in the end.

"You're so mean, Lan-er-gege! That's all I get, just watching you take your clothes off? I think I should have at least been kissed by now."

"It is my fantasy you're fulfilling, not yours."

A pout. "So then tell me, what exactly happens next in this fantasy? Am I quiet and obedient and take everything you're giving me?"

Lan Zhan had finally reached the last of his robes, now naked in all his glory, fully erect and very distracting. "Yes."

Wei Ying let his eyes travel all the way down his husband's body, fixing on a certain area that had him lick his lips for a moment. "Then, should I tell you how much I want you and how desperate I've been for you all day? How the thought of you making me yours has been haunting me with visions of you filling me up until it takes?"

Lan Zhan joined his husband in bed at last, settling on top of him, hands sliding over the rough fabric of the lacy robe as his lips began a trail of bites and kisses from below Wei Ying's ear downwards.

"Or should I tell you how I've been preparing myself for hours so all you'd have to do is stick it in me and fuck me?"

Lan Zhans growls a little at that and bites one of Wei Ying's nipples through the fabric of his robe. He hisses in pleasurable pain, and lets one of his hands card through Lan Zhan's hair as he supports himself with the other.

"Or would it be better if I told you how turned on I was when I tied your forehead ribbon around my neck, imagining it was you doing it? Imagining how you'd pull at it while you fuck me and how I'd gasp for air when you do it? How I'd cry and claw at your hands to let go so I can breathe?"

Lan Zhan finally had enough of the teasing and ripped through the delicate robe, mindless of the simple sash that kept it in place. Something primal inside him wanted to see it torn to shreds, and he happily dived in to bite at the newly revealed skin, delighting into Wei Yings yelps and moans.

They both liked it, the evidence left behind after so many kisses and bites, endless red and purple love notes on skin, throbbing with pain and pleasure. It was quite adorable, the way Wei Ying's seemingly endless dirty talk halted whenever Lan Zhan began biting him down his stomach and towards his navel, how he would gasp his name and a long string of senseless expletives.

He smelled like sandalwood and expensive body oils, so soft and inviting - and it made desire stir deeply into Lan Zhan's soul to recognize his own scent on his husband, an animalistic sort of claim that buzzed right underneath his skin.

When he finally took Wei Ying in his mouth, no teasing and no begging necessary (not this time at least), a loud, helpless moan of his name sent a wave of shivers down Lan Zhan's body - as if he himself had been the one receiving pleasure instead.

He had always delighted in giving Wei Ying what he deserved, and this was no different - but Lan Zhan would have lied if he said he wasn't also a bit selfish whenever he did it. Seeing Wei Ying arched off the bed, covered in bite marks and with kissed-bruised lips shaped around moans and begs, his hands gripping the bedsheets hard enough to rip them apart - that was all for Lan Zhan only.

He was proud of it too, of the way he could reduce Wei Ying to a desperate mess of "please, please, Lan Zhan, oh, I'm so close, so fucking close, oh my God-" and it was just one of nature's many gifts to Lan Zhan that he had no gag reflex to hinder him from giving his lover the most pleasure he possibly could. Lan Zhan could still remember how much finding out that little tidbit of knowledge had made Wei Ying cum the first time - perhaps something so filthy shouldn't have been such a fond memory for him, but Lan Zhan was long past caring about propriety.

No matter how often he did it though, Wei Ying was still just as amazed by the fact that Lan Zhan could take all of him all at once - and he had to keep his eyes closed and not look at what was happening between his legs because he would die if he did. He often joked Lan Zhan would suck his soul out through his dick - but there were times when he really did feel like that, especially now as Lan Zhan seemed dead set on putting all his skills into it.

He had always been good at everything, but Wei Ying still found it unbelievable how he knew exactly how hard to suck or where to lick and bite to turn him into a drooling, sobbing mess every time.

"Lan- Lan Zhan, I really don't know how - ah!- I really don't know how your fantasies work but shouldn't you want me to do this - ohh, fuck! - to you?"

Lan Zhan hummed in disagreement around his cock and the vibrations of it had Wei Ying nearly choke on his breath. "Come on, you can't do this to me right now, you know how I get-!"

It was pointless to try and push him away, but Wei Ying still tried anyway - only to have Lan Zhan swat his hand away with a glare.

"So stubborn... you want me to cum in your mouth that much? Is that part of the fantasy too?"

Lan Zhan glared at him again, but the tips of his ears turned a shade redder.

"That's it then? How dirty, who would have thought Hanguang-Jun would have such inclinations-"

A hard pinch to one of his thighs had Wei Ying gasp. "So mean for no reason! All I did was tell the truth!"

But Lan Zhan wasn't in the mood for teasing right now, and he decided to betray his fantasy a little, letting go of Wei Ying's cock with a loud pop. He moaned a disappointed "aw...".

"You should have kept quiet."

"You know I can't."

Lan Zhan kissed him before he could continue as Wei Ying wrapped his legs around his torso, locking his ankles behind him.

They only broke apart so that Lan Zhan would be able to line up with Wei Ying's hole and mercilessly thrust in - though Wei Ying had told the truth, he had thoroughly prepared himself for this.

That didn't mean he didn't moan at the stretch of it, at the way it felt like Lan Zhan was carving a new path through him every time they fucked. He liked the burn of it, the slight twinge of discomfort and the knowledge that he would be sore all over the next morning.

And most of all, he liked letting Lan Zhan know of all of these things.

"Tell me, er-gege, what else was I doing in your fantasy? Was I begging you to stop? To go harder? To ruin me for everyone else? To fuck me until I pass out?"

Lan Zhan sank his teeth into Wei Ying's collarbone and set up a ruthless pace, mindful to always hit Wei Ying's prostate when he did it.

"Who cares about the fantasy?" He managed, breathless with pleasure and the exertion of it. "You are better than anything I could have ever imagined."

Wei Ying's eyes went wide, both with the surprise of hearing his lover talk like that, open and filthy, as well as with the relentless pressure to his insides, his pleasure nearing its crest. "Fuck, Lan Zhan-!"

"Come for me, Wei Ying." And he took a hold of the forehead ribbon around Wei Ying's neck. "Now."

He pulled hard, once, and Wei Ying screamed, his eyes rolling back as his body seized with his orgasm.

Then the world slowly faded to a pleasant black, with Wei Ying only distantly aware of Lan Zhan filling him up seconds later.

---

Wei Ying woke up the next morning in a warm bath, to loving kisses on his neck and shoulders.

"You really did fuck me unconscious this time, Lan Zhan..." he smiled as he angled his face to meet his husband's lips. "We should do this again, I slept so well!"

Lan Zhan huffed, "You did. You have not moved at all the whole night."

"I think this is how you'll fix my sleeping schedule." A laugh. "But anyway, did you like my surprise?"

"Yes. Very thoughtful."

Wei Ying laughed again. "I did tell you I'll never forget anything you say or do to me anymore. So, expect stuff like that more often."

"Mn."

"But now that I've fulfilled one of your teenage fantasies, I think it's your turn to do the same."

"Hm?"

"I want you to fuck me in the cold springs. And be really mean about it, so the whole of Cloud Recesses can hear what you're doing to me."

Wei Ying could hear Lan Zhan sigh, but before he could say anything, he found himself catching a glimpse of a smile on his husband's face.

"What?"

"It seems that we both share that fantasy."

"Lan Zhan! Shameless!"

[nostalgia-tblr]

started another fic D: didn't mean to, but i went to bed and then had to get up and write 1000 words (!!) of a sylki alternate s2 fic. i shall put the plot/idea below to ENTICE and so I don't forget it myself.

it's not a fix-it as such i just kept the S2 look and locations and characters (OB!!!) and there is a different stupid scifi thing that needs fixed (and also no sad ending because fuck that).

instead of time-slipping loki was sent back the TVA at the right time and he's trying to fit in there and thinks sylvie will be mad at him and besides how would he even find her in such a huge expanding multiverse? oh no! he daydreams a lot and has some odd moments like forgetting how he takes his coffee, and seems to in some be mentally connected to sylvie in a weird scifi way.

obviously he doesn't do anything sensible like tell mobius, so he sneaks off to ask OB who knows all about Variant Entanglement, which is like quantum entanglement but with less science and more selfcest. OB explains that ALAS loki and sylvie are currently entangled variants, which is rare and OB is very excited to get to see it happen but also he's annoyed that apparently nobody told loki not to touch himself if he met himself. (...not in a euphemistic way, this time, just you shouldn't touch your own variants or this might happen.)

it's gone a bit comedy which i think would be a nice change from writing ANGST all the time (and i need to switch modes for the Con Artists AU anyway), though there is a bit of angst (Sylvie does not like the TVA, of course, and some kind of shipping angst will happen as well) and i think i will add some weird pornographic shared sex dream thing just for the hell of it. not sure how that will work, probably involves what i like to refer to as "a confusion of pronouns."

i think OB fancies Casey in this, so there's a 'subplot' for you i suppose. i don't know how long this fic would be but the roughly 1200 words i somehow have so far (this includes some dialogues that need to be not just dialogue though) have not yet got to the point of sylvie showing up aside from in the opening scene which is a flash-forward because... eh, it is just is. but it won't be that long, surely? (this is what i said about the 8800 word sifki fic too.)

ANYWAY LOOK, here is a snippet for some idea of the general tone, in which Loki meets OB but in a different way from in S2 (ooh!):

“Ouroboros.” The man on the other side of the desk looks up from his work. “Oh hey, a visitor!” “I’m told you’re the man to see if I have a technical problem,” says Loki. “Who told you that?” “Casey.” Ouroboros looks pleased. “Casey remembers me?”  “Apparently so.” Loki drops the document he brought with him onto the desk. “You wrote ‘Towards a New Theory of Variant Entanglement’, considered by many to be the seminal work on the phenomenon.” When Ouroboros opens his mouth to ask the obvious question, Loki cuts him off by answering; “According to Casey.” “Wow, he really does remember me!“ “Why wouldn’t he?” asks Loki.  “That’s what I always ask myself!” Determined not to be put off by the oddness of his potential saviour, Loki tries to push the conversation in his desired direction. “I need to ask you some questions about this paper,” he says. “Sure! Ask away!” After an awkward pause, Loki admits, “I didn’t understand a word of it.” Ouroboros’s excitement deflates a little. “Oh.”  “But Casey - yes, he does remember you, I think he might be a bit of a fan, actually -” “Oh, wow! That’s -” “- says that the answer I need is in here.” Loki taps his fingers on the work in question. “So I was hoping you could translate this for an interested but woefully underqualified layman. Please.”

[infatuatedheloise]

May TC Challenge Qs 24-31

lol I forgot again but at least these will be the end lol

24. How do you think you'd react if they confessed their feelings to you?

I'd definitely cry lol. Like, in a positive way. But I'd cry.

25. Have you ever done/read/watched/listened to something you may not have been interested in because they like it?

hmmm well I know he really likes Indian food & I really want to try some now that I know that! also started taking more walks around campus and in general because he likes walks, but I already liked walks too so ig that doesn't really count. Tbh I don't think I have. Our interests are already pretty similar so I haven't felt the need to try and make him like me more by mirroring/copying his interests 😅

26. If your tc was your age, would you date them? Do they have any red flags?

Yes. 1000% I'd date him. Also...kind of. I've never seen him mad or angry, but the way he talks about the times he has been angry scares me lol, like the time he came home and smashed his water bottle against his garage because he was mad that someone tried to run him off the road on his bike, or when our orders at chipotle got messed up and he was cussing out the chatbot 😅 so aggressive and it's scary. Also he's secretly kind of very judgemental and that's intimidating.

27. If your life was a book series/TV series/movie and you had a fan base, would your fans realistically ship you and your tc?

lol I hope? Maybe people would be turned away by the fact that he's my professor & married, but also, some shippers stop at nothing, so...

28. What's something that always makes you think of them?

The moon. He loves the moon so, so much. Anytime I look at the moon or listen to a song about the moon or see any mention of the moon, I think of him. Addendum to Q 25--I look at the moon more often now. I never really made a point to search for the moon before, but I do now.

29. Let's chat for a sec! What's something you've been dying to talk about regarding your tc?

hmmmmmmmm I don't really know lol. I guess lately I've been doubting my decisions to ask him to hang out. Because no matter what happens it's gonna be awkward or look weird. We can't do anything alone (less awkward with just the two of us) (but it will look weird from outside perspectives). So that means we'd have to do something with his wife (so very awkward. I've met her a couple times & she's very nice, but just so, so awkward given the circumstances lol). And like. My feelings for him aside, yeah, it's pretty insane that I'd ask my professor to hang out over summer. Like. Why would I do that 😭😭😭😭😭 it comforts me that he said yes, but still. I regret asking so much

30. Do you flirt with them? If so, how?

Nooooooooooo. I keep my feelings to myself and try not to let him know. I'd hate to ruin our friendship by exposing anything. Sometimes I wear low cut tops and cross my arms together when I know he'd see and that's about as much flirting as I get. Because I'd have some plausible deniability if he ever confronted me about it lol

31. What's something you're manifesting happening between you two? (If you don't manifest, what's something you hope happens?)

A hug 1000%. I want a hug from him sooooooooooooo badly. And not a short one, either. A nice, long, comforting hug. Ugh I want that so badly lmao

[ask-serendipity-sky]

Ok so Jimin is my one and only bias. I love him to death. BUT, he's definitely not my ideal type nor I can see myself marrying a guy who looks or behaves likes him. And you maybe right, it's mostly has to do with him not being a human but a fairy 🤧 I definitely can't see myself with a pure dainty soft spoken boy like him lol. The most lovely feeling I get when I see him is, him feeling like my own child. There's no husband/bf fantasy even he does something kind or hot lol.

I do scream for sometime when he does something sexy but that's it. LC was sexy to me 1st, now that I listened to it a 1000 times it feels like a lullaby. Filter performance was sexy af.. HE SERVED but even him grabbing his crotch didn't made me go thirsty lol. 90% of times I only get endeared by him in whatever he does (there's 10% I'll go crazy tho, LIKE PARK JIMIN 🤯) Like anon said, I won't mind eating him out.. just because I'm obsessed with his booty like every Jimin stan on this planet but nothing above that 🤡.

And armys reaction to him, is indeed good in a way. He don't get those cringy af messages much like other get. And more than 'I'm Jimin's wife or marry me Jimin' he got Marry me yoongi, I'm JK's/Tae's/Hobi's wife etc. Majority of the time his chat box is civil unlike JK's or Joon's lives. We don't wanna handle those crazy ass y/ns. There will be a negative reaction when some girl is associated with him but definitely not the level women associated with Tae or JK gets and it dies down pretty fast. None of his dating rumors last or becomes strong enough to the point company has to address it. Like 2022 beginning, company denied JK's and Joon's rumors, Tae denied him and that museum girl rumors, Joon himself addressed about poodle incident etc. 2022 Jimin also had a rumor with some actress that no I-PJMs nor K-PJMs blew up so they didn't accessed it. So yeah.. that's all perks of him not attracting y/ns as he makes less headlines about his dating life lol

Hi anon,

Intersting that you view him like this. And sweet...in a way lol

I think a lot of people might feel like that because of all the stuff he's gone through too. You get this "must protecc" feeling for him. And since he's so gentle now and soft, it kinda doesn't feed the crazies.

Someone mentioned in the replies that it has to do with stereotypes and that could be.

And yes! It's better that the y/n's stay away. The stuff they have said to Jk during his lives has been so out of line and I hope other members don't have to deal with that. It's too much.

We don't need bad Jimin rumors at all!

Thanks for sharing.

[flamevbirdv]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

Thank you @acediscowlng for tagging me!! I haven't posted anything in nearly a year but sure, why not

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

24, I've orphaned and deleted a couple of fics lol

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

106 303 and I'm very proud of every single one of those words, I usually have to fight my perfectionism to put anyhting on page

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly DC comics! I have one (1) les mis fic and one (1) x-men fic

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Catalogue of Things Unsaid by far my most popular fic with 1000+ kudos, it's a Superbat fic. I love re-reading this fic, sometimes I like my writing in this and sometimes not but I'm still fond of it Bear Me No Witness my most popular Jaydick fic, I worked really hard on this one so I'm glad people liked it Lost And Never Found is a moody, horror-esque JayDick fic that really fits my style blow a kiss; fire a gun my first fic ever asdfghjk idk it's kinda silly False Alarm I wrote this mostly as practice, I don't really have anything to say about it

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!.. except on wips because I'm delusional and I keep telling myself I'll reply once I update the fic... lol

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think I have angsty endings? I don't remember most of my endings, it's my least favorite part of writing, oops

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably You're committed, I'm your crime ??? because jaydick are kids and they are cute

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, fortunately the people who read my fics want to be there

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

HAHAHA...HA uhh I wrote mermaid porn, and that's it, mostly. I wrote one sex scene prior to that but it wasn't explicit

10. Do you write crossovers?

No. I don't read them either

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not really, there was a Cass/Tam fic that resembled my own Cass/Tam fic: let me count the roses but this was a gift and I think the giftee just liked this concept and asked for it again LMAO

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! It was fun but I don't think I'm built for it, I like oneshots and my co-writer liked multi chapter stories hence why the only time I tried we didn't finish it lol

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Jaydick ❤💙 they're the reason I started writing fic in the first place

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

😭😭😭 all of them please send help (see above: I don't like writing multi chapter stories but sometimes the plot needs them)

16. What are your writing strengths?

The way I can tell a story in 7k words or less, "short but packs a punch" is 100% my strenght. Also the fact that I really enjoy editing

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Endings. Every. Single. Time

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I love it in cases like les mis fandom. I get so excited when I see french especially in canon era fics. There are a lot of ways in which we can put the translation in the notes or using a skin I hate it tho, when I'm reading a fic and a latine character's only personality traits are that they are a criminal and they speak spanish BUT that doesn't mean I don't want more spanish speaking characters in fic even if they're just minor characters

19. First fandom you wrote for?

DC comics! I started writing and posting fic in 2019 and it's still the fandom that I write for today, attempts at branching out haven't been succesful

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Always the hardest question to answer but I really, really like re-reading Bear Me No Witness it has it all: Dick in a croptop, a news scandal, fake marriage and Jason messing with Dick to hurt Bruce I wish I could write a sequel!!!! (self call out)

Tagging @laaawliet @braingray @paperempires no pressure though, guys!

[bnomiko]

Spoiler-free Nocturne ramblings

(Guess everyone's all worked up about Castlevania again because "Under the Milky Way" gained like 28 kudos and 1000 hits in 5 days, yay : D )

Just finished watching Nocturne. I have thoughts, but in the interest of keeping things SPOILER-FREE (because yes I got spoiled on things because people can't bother using a spoiler tag, thanks a lot you wankers), I'll keep this as vague as possible.

Olrox: far and away the best character thus far. I can see why everyone's hot and heavy for the guy already, and the smut fics are apparently already rolling in. I would not be mad if they simply shifted this to Castlevania: Olrox and sent everyone else home. More, please! How about some merch too? I'd buy the shit out of it, dude is straight up hot.

This is not my Richter. I expected this:

... and got this:

(Yes that's Joseph Joestar, not Richter. The point is, sexy brunet hot-headed asshole vs. plain white bread. Richter needs more asshole points, less nutritional void.)

Since Richter is 19, that'd make Maria 12, going by the Rondo of Blood timeline (apparently she's 16 in Nocturne but she doesn't look it). For those who get why I brought that up, marinate on that, y'all. A very long marinade, maybe another 5, 6 years...

I... actually don't mind Annette. I didn't know how I'd react to her, but I have no complaints.

I rather like Edouard.

I noticed Mizrak right off the bat. Thought to myself, now there's a cutie. I'm not the only one who noticed ^_~

Um, trying to figure out how to word this without doing a reveal ^^;... Thanks for throwing us a bone, sorta, on what's probably the most well-known Castlevania threeway relationship prior to the animations? Is that vague enough?

Uh.... honestly don't have much opinion on anyone else. I predicted a much higher body count by this point and people I thought would be dead aren't, and vice versa, but I'm sure the numbers will start climbing next season.

Things I wish would've happened:

A little closer compliance to game lore, as Richter has a good amount of game lore to reference. If they skip the entirety of the SotN storyline I think that'd be a mistake since it's obviously the best-known game of the franchise.

I'm not necessarily mad at the throwing away of the Vampire Killer's special clause (that only direct line male descendants can use it) as it's patriarchal and outdated but I would've liked to seen mention of that not being the case, first, before it got flung out the window.

A LOT less crying. I know Alucard was a faucet in the original animation, but the crying jags in this are ridiculous. I'm pretty sure even the horses were crying. Tera running off sobbing like an anime girl, complete with hands over her face? Ugh. Everyone just standing around and watching Annette cry her heart out, without even a hand on the shoulder in sympathy? Uggggh. No those aren't spoilers, as everyone cries at least twice, if not more.

Original animation vs Nocturne, and the lack of camaraderie and banter:

I guess what I miss most in this series so far vs the original animation series, is the lack of teamwork and camaraderie. Trevor, Sypha and Alucard were yes, forced by circumstance, to stick together, rely on one another, and build up a rapport (they spent the majority of S2 locked in the Hold together), to the point that they could work as a team without having to verbally communicate. There was something really refreshing about that, ya know?

The protagonists of Nocturne thus far... mostly do whatever they want? There's so little interpersonal dialogue. The only character relationship thus far that feels organic at all is the one that started as straight up sex - there's an honesty to that, at least.

Also I miss the banter, a lot more than I thought I would. Even with a serious storyline I like a bit of humor in my shows / stories. How else would we have learned that Sypha has icy cold feet, Trevor can't fucking read, or Alucard is triggered by the word "the"? I came away with zero new trivia factoids about Richter, Maria, and Annette.