#First short

[quintrudar]

The Tomb of Captain Bartamaus

Gogo was never going to let me live this moment down. The rope nipped hard at my skin as I tried to twist my hands-free. My claws couldn't reach long enough and I couldn't do anything without breaking my wrist.

Resting my head against the wall of the carriage my ass was getting jostled as the carriage moved down whatever road the driver had found. My gear was gone, and I had no idea where Vanna had gone off to. Since I met Vanna in a town just outside of Limsa Lominsa we had been on the run with our map and a promise that we'd get to the treasure of Captain Bartamaus. I didn't want the treasure, what I really wanted was a book he had collected before being assassinated.

Of course, there is always another person on their way for gold and glory.

As the carriage came to a stop I groaned and shifted myself and let my numb ass get some blood flow to it. Of course by the time I was on the pins and needles stage the flap to the back of the carriage was opened and a man with a glorious mustache and an eyepatch was grinning at me.

"Enjoy your trip Mr. Rudar?" He said his accent thickly Limpsin. 

"You have the greatest hostage accommodations I've ever seen, one star," I said dryly as he came in and pulled me up to my feet. He was a tall Hyur though I was still taller than him without my ears.

Being dragged out the light burned my eyes and I squinted and wished I could shield my eyes with my arm or something. We were in a large crevice that had a steady path up to higher ground on one side, but on the other was a large carved door made of stone. The stones had a language the others couldn't read, but I could. Over the last year, I had spent every waking hour obsessing over the words that now marked the door.

In a language long dead it read: 

'Enter the enlightened, parish the coward'

I frowned and looked up at the writing. It was ominous, but there was a reason for it. Those words had been carved there long before, by something I couldn't name yet. All I knew was it felt right to see those words. More right than it was for anything I dealt with.

"That's one big door." A voice came from behind me and walking arm in arm were the two least likely people. One was an elaezen man wth blond hair that was pulled back in a low bun, he was dressed in a sharp suit and a long trench coat. The man who spoke... That would be Vanna.

Vanna was a Miqo'te with dark blond hair and brown eyes. I had been so shocked when he flirted with me, but I never had said no to attention. Even when I get backstabbed. He had been quickly to attach to me and during our adventure to look through the map he had I thought there was something growing between us.

Obviously he'll fuck anyone who would get him what he wanted. I almost admire that. Almost.

"Vanna." I said and tried to grind my teeth without snapping anymore.

The small man paused the fur of his tail going out a little as he saw me. I had to be in a bit of a state. I had taken a good right hook to the jaw and it was probably a nasty bruise now. "Quint, I hope you don't mind. Luis gave me insight on what we're about to face." His voice was soft and at one point I thought he was sweet, too bad he's a fucking manipulative ass.

"I hope he's worth it," I mutter and that's it, that's the end of the relationship. Easy come easy go.

"Now," The Elezen Luis strolled forward with Vanna's map and looked at the door. "This says the door will open with the correct key. Mr. Rudar, I suppose you already found said key, and idea of where you put it amongst your things?"

Of course, that's why I'm still alive. I had hidden the key in my gear, inside one of the devices I carried around with me. If they mishandled one of the items it could kill them with a deadly spring or short circuit. That had been part of the plan, but what will they do with me once I gave them the key?

I had no choice but to go with my instinct. I'm not going to die yet, at least not without a proper fight.

"Untie my hands and I'll get it for you," I said, turning around and wiggling my fingers. Luis did the honors as he untied my hands I leaned closer to him to whisper. "You're not the first man who's put rope on my skin, though this is far less satisfying."

Luis pushed me forward and his men threw my pack at me. It was heavy and would be full of devices they wouldn't be able to reason with. I crouched down and found one device that would keep me warm even in cold weather and got out my tools to open it up. Machines were easy, they. had a reason for always breaking to for working. Things with them made sense.

"Here you go," I held up the key but as the men moved to take it I pulled it closer to me. "I'll put the key in the door. And this key is needed for another part. Vanna might be cute, but I'm the one who figured out the puzzle to get this key. I'm the brains."

The Miqo'te rolled his eyes but he had to be right, he was the one half screaming senselessly as I was dodging poisoned traps set up by the Captain's men. Luis frowned and looked at the door. He had to know there were going to be traps involved. We weren't popping into a random cave. Captain Bartamaus had been ruthless in his clever traps. the last cave system of his I went into had three different traps that required me to play games with an unseen enemy, balance a scale to an obscure reference, and wait until a floor went out from under me to find my prize.

If this was anything like that, they were going to need me.

"Fine, let Mr. Rudar use the key." Luis moved away from me and the other men cleared the path.

Coming up to the door I reread the message and found the covering for the keyhole. Inserting the key I twisted it, a mechanical sound churned behind the rock and the wall opened up. A gust of stale air hit my sensitive nose and I tried to blow out the air before it lingered in my lungs for too long.

"Let's hope the good Captain has all the wonders promised to us secured down here." Luis passed me as his men pushed me forward.

The cave we entered slowly moved down and deep into the ground. The air got cooler and I knew we were getting close to the water table if we were this low to the ground. Just as I thought we would hit the water the cave opened up to a large chasm and below I could see an underground river moving below us.

On our side of the chasm, there was a pillar of crystal and a gilded hammer beside it. Next to the pillar, in the stone read:

'Ring' 

Only the R also looked like an S. It as 'Ring' and 'Sing', What most scholars forgot to mention in all the historical accounts for the former Pirate lord was he loved music. He loved it so much there was reasonable proof he might have been a bard once.

"Ring the bell," Luis told one of his men.

A larger Roe stalked up to the pillar and used the hammer to ring out the tone. The sound echoed around the cavern but nothing happened.

"Great," Vanna said his voice letting out a huff. "Do you think the mechanism broke?"

Given the puzzle used magic, I highly doubted it was going to break down. I watched the men argue over the validity of the puzzle as I tried to test out if I could hum the tune. It took me a few tries but soon I got the right pitch and let out the tone.

The rock on the other side started to move, singing in chorus with me. The magic was something to behold and I stopped the tone and noticed the rocks rumble back into the wall that they came from. The men looked back to me some of them had their mouths so open I swore I could see into their stomachs.

"What?" I said and moved over to the ledge. "It can be read as an R or an S. Ring and Sing."

The other men looked at each other and again the hit the pillar again, this time they were the ones who had to search for the note, only this time when they hit it I drew in a long breath and sang as well.

When the bridge started to form I bolted down the bridge. Only there was one problem with that sort of plan. Running takes air, and singing takes air. Singing and running could work if I was a bard, but I'm not. I'm a mage who's fallen in love with engineering and history.

I can hear that the others have stopped singing, if I stop, if I don't hold this note for long enough, I will die. My lungs are burning, and my eyes watering as I try to find more air. As my feet carry me across the bridge. With each pounding step, I get to the edge and throw myself to the other side. I hit the ground hard and take a long, cool, choking breath.

Even as I catch my breath the others are having a much less dramatic cross. I debate about trying to run. Give myself a head start and get to my goal before they come in and ruin the site. I had to stop waiting, I needed to move.

Getting back to my feet I found the next passageway and started down it and tried to look around for clues for any next test they might give me. But as I came to the next room I saw a checkered board of tiles, some green, some blue. I skitter to a halt and knew I only had so much time to figure out this puzzle before they caught up to me.

The Captain had a flag, and from what historians could recount it was green, but it was also true that the man had a love for blue as that is what he normally wore. Where we were going was his final resting place, so the only people he would want to come this way are those who knew what he loved.

The sound of footsteps was right behind me and I started to jump to each of the blue tiles. Crossing the room I could see the other side when I heard the others coming into view. The large Roe stepped onto a green tile and instantly he fell through it and probably to his death. Luis and Vanna stopped seeing me get to the other side.

"He really is fast isn't he," Luis said. "Mr. Rudar, it seems you're trying to race ahead."

I paused and dusted off my jacket. "I can't help it, I like good competition. I'll see you gentlemen at the other side." I gave a small bow and kept going forward, not telling them the solution to the problem. They will either take forever or do something rash and figure out the blue ties are safe.

Coming to the next room I stopped dead in my tracks. The room had bellowed out ahead of me and there was all the gold that was promised. A small mountain that would make even the most modest-living person wonder if they could steal a few of the coins or gems. 

The treasure was off limits.

I knew better than to take wealth from tombs. The person who made this tomb wanted to keep his money even after death. Crossing the room there was a long table where a skeleton was resting, lounging like it was waiting for someone to bring him back to life.

"Captain Bartamaus I presume." I moved closer, the table was full of empty bowls, plates, and goblets covered in gold and gemstones. One of those goblets could keep my airship in the sky for a year. 

Wiping my brow I bowed to the dead captain and looked around him. "I don't want your treasure, just a book," I said, noticing behind him a shelf full of items on display. Spiders had made their home amongst the treasure, creating curtains of webs that I peeked through until I saw it.

The book was humble. It was after all a personal journal of the Captain, detailing his journey into unknown lands. I needed that information. 

I needed to know what happened to her. To the woman who gave birth to me.

Picking up the journal I cradled it in my arms like it was a newborn child. It was older than me, probably older than anyone I knew, but it was precious to me. Opening the book I flipped through the pages and saw the dates, the information had to be here, but I needed time to properly read it.

The sound of footsteps caught in my ears and I looked up to see Luis and Vanna running into the room. Both of them looked tired from the chase but as I started to move Luis pulled his bow and arrow and aimed it at me.

"I would put that book down Mr. Rudar." He said his voice light and his smirk growing wide. "You're not going to get out of this alive if you try to run."

I might be really good at running, but I'm not so good when there are two people, and I know Vanna can close a distance in no time if he knows it's safe. He might believe he's able to hide behind being a pretty face, but he also is more deadly than most would give him credit.

"What are you going to do with the book?" I said. "You know there's more gold here, you could retire somewhere comfortable. I just want the book."

"If that was the reason we were here, we wouldn't have to worry." Luis's eyes were on the book. "Put the book down now, or I'll kill you now."

"Why haven't you killed me then?" I said and realized there had to be a reason for it. "There's something you need from me isn't there?"

Vanna shifted on his feet his tail whipping side to side as he grew irritated. I was close to something. I had something they didn't. Could this book be taken unless I gave it? Was that the answer? I opened the book and noticed on the front page of the book, where I had skipped in my first search was a sigil that would burn the book if it was stolen from its next owner. Me. 

Freezing into place I looked at the other men and knew they. They could threaten me, kill me, but they would then lose the book.

"I'm sorry gentlemen." I said and shook my head. "but I'm not going to do that."

"Fine." Luis loosed the arrow and it pierced the leather of my jacket, the pain bloomed cold in my arm as I dropped the book. The cold slithered through me like a snake going towards its borrow. It was poison, and I didn't have any antidote on me. All of it was outside... with my gear.

I fell to the ground feeling boneless for a moment.

"Give us the book, and I'll give you the antidote, you'll get to live, live to fight another day." Luis crouched down beside me. The cold was cutting through me, but he did produce the antidote to show me he was being truthful. "Go on, just tell me it's mine, and then you're safe."

It can't be true. He can't be telling me the truth? But what choice did I have?

"Fine," I grunted. "The book is yours."

My breath hitched as his hand moved to the book. He picked it up and pulled away, without dropping the antidote. "You know it's sad, I hear you've been looking for this book because what did he tell you Van dear?"

"His mother vanished while researching the Captain's life," Vanna said, smirking at me. I was shivering now, the poison had latched onto me fully. "I think you said she might be dead?"

"She probably is dead. Not like she'd care about you." Luis opened the book and flipped through the pages. "This is perfect. Just what I was needing."

"The antidote." I croaked.

"I'm giving you what you really want Mr. Rudar. To see your mother again, in the afterlife." He turned back tucking the book into his jacket. Only for a moment later to draw a knife and plunge it into Vanna's chest. "And that's for betraying him, I don't keep traitors as lovers."

Blood bubbled up from Vanna's mouth his brown eyes large with concern. His death was going to be far sooner than mine I feared. He fell to the ground and he didn't even have the decency to look at me. Instead all of his shock was for the man who betrayed him.

"I think this is fitting, both of you, together." Luis paused momentarily to admire his handiwork then turned on his heel. "Goodbye, Mr. Rudar."

As his footsteps faded I started to crawl closer to Vanna. The light was barely left in his eyes, but that didn't mean he couldn't help me. Early, far earlier I was a mage. One who was willing to do darker magic to get ahead. But I had felt how draining that magic can be.

I dug my fingers into his blood and whispered words I had locked away. Swearing to a deeper thrumming magic that rested far within me. It swirled and twisted like it was too much for my skin. My body shook, I opened my mouth and the contents of my stomach came up. My whole pulsing mass of organs flexed and retched as a burning sensation seared its way through my veins.

Whispers happened next, dark whispers that told me I was coming home. I was going where I belonged if I died. I don't want to die, I will live because I have too much to live for.

Again I retched and this time a large lump was coughed up. It was a wiggling mass that looked like worms. The worms were a manifestation, it was the poison. All of it. But I fell over the dust of the ground covering me as I tried to breathe.

Taking each cool breath I settled my stomach. One breath, two breaths, three breaths. I counted to ten to know I was still alive. The poison was gone, and I was going to survive this.

Looking up I saw Vanna, his body had twisted during my spell. Like all of the living essences in him had dried up. He was already going to die, and I could have joined him or used him. In the end, I needed to live. I could regret this later. But I can't blame myself for it.

I'm covered in dust, blood, and sweat, and I have nothing to show for it. Looking back at the skeleton of the Captain I wanted to shout at him. Curse him for not making better traps to kill Luis before he got to me. But there is no point in being angry with a dead man. 

I would find Luis again, I would find him, and convince him to give me the book. Then I'll be back on track. Then I can keep searching for my mother.

[fairydrowning]

– Noor Unnahar, Instagram account "noor_unnahar"

[TEXT ID: / [Lemons] / My father's mother loved lemons. Years after her passing, / we run out of everything, but never / lemons. / Nothing else shelters grief / better than memory. / It's my father way of saying, / even in your absence, you will be / cared by me. / END ID]

[inkskinned]

it is hard to explain but there is something so unwell about the cultural fear of ugliness. the strange quiet irradiation of any imperfect sight. the pores and the stomachs and the legs displaced into a digital trashbin. somehow this effect spilling over - the removal of a grinning strangers in the back of a picture. of placing more-photogenic clouds into a frame. of cleaning up and arranging breakfast plates so the final image is of a table overflowing with surplus - while nobody eats, and instead mimes food moving towards their mouth like tantalus.

ever-thinner ever-more-muscled ever-prettier. your landlord's sticky white paint sprayed over every surface. girlchildren with get-ready-with-me accounts and skincare routines. beige walls and beige floors and beige toys in toddler hands. AI-generated "imagined prettier" birds and bugs and bees.

pretty! fuckable! impossible! straighten teeth. use facetune and lightroom and four other products. remove the cars along the street from the video remove the spraypaint from the garden wall remove the native plants from their home, welcome grass. welcome pretty. let the lot that walmart-still-owns lay fallow and rotting. don't touch that, it's ugly! close your eyes.

erect anti-homelessness spikes. erect anti-bird spikes. now it looks defensive, which is better than protective. put the ramp at the back of the building, you don't want to ruin the aesthetic of anything.

you are a single person in this world, and in this photo! don't let the lives of other people ruin what would otherwise be a shared moment! erase each person from in front of the tourist trap. erase your comfortable shoes and AI generate platforms. you weren't smiling perfectly, smile again. no matter if you had been genuinely enjoying a moment. you are not in a meadow with friends, you're in a catalogue of your own life! smile again! you know what, forget it.

we will just edit the right face in.

[stil-lindigo]

ARTISTS FOR PALESTINE 🇵🇸 - On the 6th and 9th of March, I'll be doing art requests on stream with other notable artists to raise money for Operation Olive Branch and the PCRF.

I'm incredibly lucky to be counting quite a few big names in the roster, including known Jesus and Odysseus enthusiast @wolfythewitch, the extraordinary fanartist @denimcatfish, and the incredibly talented @troubledminnesotan, as well as Lilypichu from OfflineTV.

You'll be able to watch the streams on the day of the event either on my twitch channel here, or via the links provided by the artists below.

Lilypichu

Cuptoast

Akairosu_

Sevvanto

Wolfythewitch

[ruporas]

your love returns in tragedy (ID in alt)

[strawberrinoz]

marriage proposal no mermaid pendant required

[and-corn]

[nidbaesenpai]

Dare you say this love could just save you

[sergle]

I don’t know if there really is any science behind workout routines separated by sex, but even if there is benefit to doing exercise “for women” i don’t give a shit. and i will intentionally seek out guides made For Men. because by and large, this is how the different video thumbnails shake out

[bacchuschucklefuck]

class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)

[methoughtsphantom]

silly headcannon #2 that Bruce never got the reference that Jason always made of himself being short round (he always thought it was Jason saying he was short) until after he died and Tim, avid Indiana Jones fan made Bruce watch the movies with him, only the man breaks out crying., sobbing, full on breaking down over the two second scene that is Indy ruffling Short Round’s hair as he explains they first met when he caught the kid stealing from him, and then took him under his wing.

[serqphites]

nothing hurts me more than seeing ellie be written as a stone cold cheating dom who is really rough and mean to her gf, and honestly just lacks personality in general?? let’s not forget that ellie is just a girl who needs her girlfriend!!

18+, mdni, strap-on sex (e! reviving), teeniest bit of angst? oral mentions (r! receiving)

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gf!ellie who sometimes just wants to be the little spoon! she’s sooo nervous about it for no reason. you’ll obviously poke fun at her for it, reassuring her that it’s not a big deal, but she’ll still never outright ask you to spoon her.

ellie had been hesitant to let you roll away from her tonight, you’d offered her the comfort of spooning you to which she kindly denied with a gentle smile and a shake of her head. figuring it wasn’t that much of a big deal, you said goodnight like normal and i turned away from one another (touching butts as usual). after laying there for a few minutes, the sound of what you can only assume is teeth chattering begins to fill the quiet of your shared bedroom. is that ellie? the thought lingers for a moment until the feeling of ellie’s little butt wriggling against your own drags you from your mind, causing you to look back over your shoulder at her curled up frame in the darkness. “you okay els?” your voice is a gentle whisper, ellie nodding in response to your question before she responds back, her voice too barely above a whisper. “i’m jus’cold” your arm is draped over her waist in seconds, your front pressing up against her back as your face nuzzles into the back of her neck. what ellie wants, ellie gets.

gf!ellie who sometimes just needs a hug. :(

patrol can get overwhelming for her sometimes, exhausting her body and mind to the point she can’t even speak coherent words as her bottom lips quivers, her fingers coming up to pinch her baggy eyes as if to close the dam threatening to overflow. “oh el’s” you coo, reaching out for her just as she crumbles into your arms.

gf!ellie who can never shut up about you. constantly telling jesse about how much of a dork you are and how you “match her dorkegy” (dork energy). poor dina has to always give her advice on how to make you feel better after she’s accidentally upset you for the 2948593923th time, like i said she is just a girl!! joel is usually the one asking ellie about yourself, always wanting to know what the two of you have been getting up to because isn’t he just so dndosjrnd???

gf!ellie who just wants to hold your hand while her tongue sends you to heaven and back. every time you moan her name or just make a noise she likes, squeeze. ellie lovessss squeezes. your hand? she squeezes i. love. you. whenever she can’t say it. your thighs? she can’t keep her hands off. your cheeks? you’re too cute that’s not her fault??

gf!ellie who sometimes just wants you to fill her up with your dick strap.

ploughing into her from behind, ellie propped up on her elbows with her head held low, her pretty whimpers and groans egging you on. “takin’ me s’good el’s, how’s it feel hmm?” you can’t help but poke fun, enjoying the role swap a little too much. “feels s- fuck” poor girl can’t even speak, her words falling apart in the back of her throat. how did you let her do this to you so much? you’ve only just started and she’s just about ready to have a warm bath and watch one of the many movies from her very proud collection.

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[torpublishinggroup]

Though it might be tempting, don’t venture into hedge mazes…no matter what

Be mindful of triggering the wrath of revenge ghosts lest you become a ghost yourself

Beware the dangers of underestimating “docile girls”—it could be a killer mistake

Summoning an ancient evil demon is NEVER a good idea. Seriously. 

Trying to steal someone’s home might cost you your soul. It’s never worth it. 

Understand that haunted houses have feelings too—the problem is sometimes they’re evil.

Tips provided by Terry J. Benton-Walker, editor and contributor of The White Guy Dies First: 13 Scary Stories of Fear and Power.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Killer clowns, a hungry hedge maze, and rich kids who got bored. Friendly cannibals, impossible slashers, and the dead who don’t stay dead....

A museum curator who despises “diasporic inaccuracies.” A sweet girl and her diary of happy thoughts. An old house that just wants friends forever....

These stories are filled with ancient terrors and modern villains, but go ahead, go into the basement, step onto the old plantation, and open the magician’s mystery box because this time, the white guy dies first.

Edited by Terry J. Benton-Walker, including stories from bestselling, award-winning, and up-and-coming contributors: Adiba Jaigirdar, Alexis Henderson, Chloe Gong, Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, H. E. Edgmon, Kalynn Bayron, Karen Strong, Kendare Blake, Lamar Giles, Mark Oshiro, Naseem Jamnia, Tiffany D. Jackson, and Terry J. Benton-Walker.

A collection you’ll be dying to talk about…if you survive it.

[doctorsiren]

can’t stop thinking about mob growing up 🥺

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[pickersonpaints]

woe sad elf boy upon ya