#Fuck this is really genuinely bothering me I can't leave the thought alone it just keeps itching at me

[moogiewara]

.

[ghostytoad]

* Fun n' Games *

ROTTMNT Boys x GN! Leo-esque reader who enjoys drama, making jokes, and being overall awesome

Summary: The Hamato brothers unexpectedly fall for the smug, but genuine, fun-loving reader despite their egocentric habits Headcanons for: Donnie

GN! Reader; Romantic; Fluff || Words: 1.6k

Raph | Leo | Mikey | Bonus!!

Donnie:

his first thoughts upon meeting y/n is that literally nothing could be worse. he could be boiling alive in one of meatsweat's fancy culinary stews and be less bothered by that than having to endure not one, but TWO LEOS

there goes the fleeting days of being able to complete his work in peace and quiet; o call back yesterday, bid time return

really tho, all his eye rolling and indifference is just an act that he refuses to let up on (he has a REPUTATION to uphold after all!!)

it doesn't take much time for donnie to warm up to y/n though; he's more or less used to his twin's antics and smug behavior and with y/n being almost exactly the same, it's like they've known each other their whole lives

he chalks it up to being comfortable with the familiar, but his brothers can definitely see it for what it is: a crush

he enjoys the competitive tension between y/n and him, it keeps him on his toes and gives him a boost when he feels out of it and needs the motivation

doesn't much care for the whole ego thing, but it doesn't bother him as bad as leo's does; at least y/n has good reason to be as cocky as they are. they're funny, they're charming, they're cool, they're incredibly perceptive

in fact, he's secretly made a list of all the good qualities y/n has and all the things he likes about them… it's like a whole 10 spreadsheets worth of data

to be fair, he does keep a similar list for his brothers and april, so it's not like he's stalking y/n or anything; it's just his way of "bonding" with his loved ones

but y/n's list is a lot longer than anyone else's; there's just so much to like about them. it only makes sense that their list of good traits happens to match up pretty well with his list of "things to look for in a potential mate" (a secret list that he will take to his grave)

whenever they go on missions, he makes sure to fit y/n in all his latest gear he's made them for their protection; they might talk big game, but donnie still has to take precautions!

he may or may not have taken y/n on a few purple dragon-related missions - AKA "let's go put whipped cream in all of their hard drives and cover their hideout in tinfoil wrapping just to fuck with them"; turns out that the police do not find it funny

"let me just say for the record that nothing's illegal unless it can be proven beyond reasonable doubt. and you can't prove that y/n and i were there so…"

y/n ain't no snitch, so don can trust them to keep their mouth shut if anyone ever gets suspicious of their misdeeds; this also makes them his go-to for some of the more emotionally heavier things that he can't talk to his brothers about

yeah, donnie's not great with emotions, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel them - he genuinely finds y/n to be a comforting presence, especially considering their amazing emotional perception and how well they can read him

he finds it much easier to work when y/n's hanging around the lab with him; they don't have to interact much, all it takes is a visit from y/n and he's hit with a burst of motivation

gets more work done with y/n around than he usually does and takes advantage of this productivity by making y/n stay with him for literal hours even if they don't actively take part in his work

he's even made them a little corner with all of their favorite things in the lab so they can keep busy while he works; they might be good for motivation and all, but he knows better than to leave y/n alone with one of his inventions considering their… impulsive behavior (rip stun-bo feature, we hardly knew ya)

"w-what, leaving? you can't leave yet! i've only just started on this upgraded micro-transmitter for the tank and i need your help! what do you mean you just sit there for hours doing nothing? that's entirely false, you are helping me out immensely! now sit right there and don't touch anything until i tell you to-"

their easy-going nature really complements his more rigid and particular personality; together, they are an unstoppable and wildly chaotic duo

he might be the funniest turtle of the group, but y/n has him in tears with their lame little jokes and one-liners; he mostly only laughs at the roasts and teases directed at his brothers though

overall, his brothers have an ongoing bet over how long it'll be before donnie finally realizes he has a MAJOR crush on y/n; leo has his bets on "not in my lifetime", april predicts it'll be sometime after casey jr's time, mikey's a little more generous and says "maybe in the next decade or two", and raph is just fed up with it and wants it over with NOW

The buzzing and whirring of various tools occupied the otherwise silently uneventful lab as Donatello worked away on his latest project, completely absorbed in his work. Tucked away in the corner, sitting snug in the soft embrace of a plush beanbag, Y/N busied themselves with another round of Smash Bros on their purple (totally not Genius Built branded) Switch. Most days in the lab were spent in comfortable silence, as the purple coded brother did his best work when there were minimal distractions. But for Y/N, that meant keeping all audible cries of excitement or groans of defeat to a minimum while gaming. And sure, that was a reasonable request for a while, but had it really already been four hours?! As Y/N glanced down at their phone for the time, they let out a loud, heavy sigh as boredom overwhelmed their usually active mind.

"Don, how much longer do I gotta sit here? I'm practically dying of boredom. I'm terminal now. Terminal!" They slumped themselves back over the cushion, causing it to wheeze under the shifted weight.

"Just a few minor adjustments left and we'll be as good as gold." Donnie hadn't even looked up from the tester bot he was tinkering with, something which Y/N met with a frustrated scowl.

"And by a few, you mean…?"

"I still need to work on recalibrating the external displays to account for the large-"

"UUUGH, no, how long! I've been here so long that my leg's've atro- asta-… ASTROFIELD!"

Donnie could hardly contain the snort that sounded from under his welding mask.

"I think the term you're looking for is 'atrophied' and no, I seriously doubt that the mere act of sitting is enough to deteriorate muscle tissue."

"Whatever. I'm dying here and you wanna lecture me on-"

They were interrupted by the soft thudding of approaching footsteps, the unmistakable sound of Raph entering the lab.

"Heya, D. Y/N. Sorry to barge in on y'all, just wanted to check in and see if y'guys needed anything. It's been, uh… A while and it's gettin' dark so-"

"Raph, will you tell Dorkie here to quit holdin' me hostage and let me go? He's been keeping me prisoner here and I haven't even gotten my one phone call!" Y/N teased. Their moniker was successful in tearing Donnie's attention away from his desk across the room to shoot them a bitter glare.

"Heh, y'know Y/N, you could leave anytime you wanted, right? It's not like he's actually gonna trap you here. Er… Right?" Raphael's playful expression tinged itself with a hint of concern as he, for a moment, considered the possibility of a hostage negotiation with his little brother.

"Nah, I'm actually good here. I just want something more to DO when I'm here. I can't just be here for moral support, y'know." They stuck their tongue out at the softshell as they rolled themselves off the bag and plopped softly onto the tile floor.

The eldest mutant scratched at the back of his neck with a chuckle. Of course Donnie would tell them it's for 'moral support'.

"Uh, Y/N. You do know he only really keeps you in here because he's got a thing for you, right? That whole moral support thing's a load of crock."

It was at that moment that the ambient hum of tools stopped and tense silence flooded in its place. Y/N propped themselves up on elbows and craned their neck towards Donatello who sat faced away from them with tense shoulders bunched up.

Sensing the awkward situation he'd now put them in, Raph let out a small hiss of regret between his teeth and slowly shuffled his feet back towards the door.

"Riiight… So, you guys good? Yeah? Yeah. I'm gonna just-"

And with that, he practically bolted for the door, leaving Y/N and Donnie to stew in the thick air of their own embarrassment.

"D-Donnie…" Y/N could barely squeak, their eyes fixed to the empty doorway as if they were pleading for Raph to come back and take the awkward with him.

Donnie took in a sharp breath and in one swift motion, pushed his work chair back and spun to face his companion with only his iron-will keeping him from running out of the lab himself.

"I-" He started, his face dark red and his lip quivering with anxiety as his mind parsed through the many scenarios in which this sort of confession could've gone.

"I knew it couldn't have been just for my good looks." Y/N's smug grin and flirtatious wink did little to alleviate the mutant's humiliation.

"Huh?"

"For the record…" Scooting up to Donnie's hunched form, Y/N gently took his hands into theirs and kept their gaze locked to the floor as the faintest blush dusted their cheeks, "I have a thing for you too."

Out of every scenario he'd managed to file through, this one was one outcome he didn't anticipate. But one he would happily accept.

[catmelonwriting]

Again with me! I have a lot of ideas lately😭

I hope I'm not disturbing you

I request a clingy reader(fem!reader) with Chuuya(can be incest or no, your choice), I will say headcannons or not, so basically, they get in a argument, and Chuuya hits her!!! Out of anger! *gasp* :O

And chuuya tries and will make it up to her

Can be smut!

Angst to Fluff to maybe Smut????

I'll Make It Up To You

Warnings: Fem!reader, Slight manipulation, Hurt/veryminimalcomfort, chuuya being a freaking meanie, I'm much better at hcs but I wanted to practice doing oneshots, Kinda ooc

Characters: Chuuya

A/N: ilysm you are NOT disturbing me 💯 please keep requesting!!! You give me tons of motivation. All I have on this account is smut so I just made it hurt/comfort I hope that's okay 😇😇

Your front door slams, you hear shit falling off the walls and know he must be pissed. You creep down the stairs, tip toeing over to your boyfriend, pulling him into a hug. "Not in the mood." He grumbles, pushing you off by the head.

You wince a little at the pain of him tugging your hair, but say nothing about it. "Did you have a bad day at work?" You ask gently, taking a step back. "Oh my God, can't you just leave me alone? Are you capable of that?!" He snaps, turning around, glaring daggers into your eyes. "..Chuuya.. I just wanted to make sure you're oka-" Smack!

You look up at him, and he stares down with guilty eyes. Neither of you say anything until.. "Chuuya! What the fuck!" You take another step back, trying to stop the tears welling in your eyes from falling. "What is wrong with you??" You yell, your voice squeaky.

"Doll.. I'm sorry. You know I just had a bad day at work." He sounded exasperated. Really? Over him hitting you?? You storm back up the stairs, into your shared bedroom, and lock the door behind you.

You slide down the walls, head in your hands as you contemplate everything that had just happened. Was it really your fault for bothering him? No, it couldn't have been, those ads you see on YouTube.. those billboards on the road, always say it's never the victims fault. But are you really a victim? He only hit you once.. does the really count. You sat here for a minute, your mind pacing.

Your train of thought is broken by a small knock on the door. You stand up immediately to open the door, but you stand in the way of letting him in. He looked guilty, genuinely, really guilty. "Baby girl.. I'm sorry.. I just-" you cut him off. "Yeah, you fucking should be!" You yell, the tears starting to fall from your eyes. "..Isn't that a bit.. dramatic?" He groans.

"Dramatic? You're calling me dramatic now?" You scoff, staring at him in the eye. He sighs. "Bunny.. you know that's not what I meant, please, just let me make it up to you." Bunny, Doll, Babygirl, you were fucking tired of it.

"Stop with the fucking pet names you cunt! I'm pissed at you and you're calling me baby girl?!" You can't help but laugh. You're so angry and it's not funny but you just can't stop laughing. "What is wrong with you?" You ask, watching a pang of guilt in his eyes, "Ill.. um.. ill give you some more time." You swear you could hear his voice getting all squeaky and high pitched too, but you didn't comment on it.

You sat on your bed, contemplating the meaning of your existence, when you check your phone. It had been two hours since he came up to check on you, two hours since you made him feel shittier than he made you. You felt like such a terrible person.

You get off your bed, slowly opening the door and creeping downstairs to the living room where Chuuya is sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and a book. He looked.. unbothered. Meanwhile you had tears and mascara streaming down your face.,

"Chuuya?" You whimper, he looks up, sighs and looks back down at his book, patting the couch next to him. "Come sit down." He mumbles, turning the page. You practically run over to the couch, digging your face into his side, he wraps his arm around your curled body as he sighs and puts the book down, keeping the wine.

"..I'm sorry. What I did was not right. There's no excuse for me to hit you like that." You hear his voice shaking, and you know he feels guilty. "It's okay.." you can't tell if you're telling the truth. You don't know whether it's okay. Can it ever be okay? "I'm sorry too.. for yelling at you and calling you a cunt." You sniffle, feeling, embarrassed? You felt overdramatic, like you needed to stop making a big deal out of such a little thing. It wasn't his fault, he was just stressed.

"Don't stress it." He sighs, leaning back into the couch. "I love you." He mumbles, and you mutter it right back, just like always. "I love you." That was true. And you knew that, and that's all that mattered. You two love each other and sometimes people in love make mistakes. Just keep telling yourself that.

"I'll make it up to you sweets." He mumbles, putting his glass down and laying his head on top of yours. "It's gonna be okay, I won't let this happen again." It feels like he's talking to himself more than you, but you still appreciate the sentiment.

"I love you." You whisper, one more time, before falling into a deep, well needed sleep.

[mrsshabana]

Hey there, I've been kinda stalking your tumblr, and I just want to say I love your writing. And I wanted to make a small request (please don't feel pressured) of gyutaro from modern time finding out his straight A and shy S/O had a bit of a delinquent pass of stealing and lying to the point of boot camp. This is the first time I ever requested for a fanfic (or it can be a headcanon, whatever is easier). And honestly, I'm not gonna get my hopes up that you'll see this, but if you do loves and kisses ( =＾ω＾)

𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐆𝐲𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

꒦꒷‧₊ Content Gyutaro x GenderNeutral!Reader, Modern au, Fluff ꒦꒷‧₊ Note Tysm for the kind words!! You asked so nicely so I knew I had to write this up for you. I ended up changing things a bit so I hope you don't mind. (ˊᗜˋ) ♡

Gyutaro gets sent to boot camp every summer. Either because his mom got tired of his antics or because it was mandated by his school. No matter where Gyutaro goes, he's always getting into trouble.

This year was the same as any other, sent to boot camp yet again. It never worked and he knew it wouldn't work this time. Why did the adults always bother sending him every year if it never made a difference? He doesn't know and he really doesn't care either.

But this year he saw a familiar face, a face he wasn't expecting to see. It was you. The straight-A brat that was known around school for being a goody two shoes.

"The fuck are you doin' here?" He said with wide eyes as he saw you walking onto the campgrounds.

You try to ignore him and walk away faster but he catches up to you and grabs your arm.

"Hey! I'm talkin' to you!" He growls, getting frustrated already. If you weren't so pathetic he probably would have picked a fight with you.

"It's none of your business," you snatch your arm away from him, "Just pretend you don't know me!"

"Just cough it up already, I won't tell anyone," he says with a smirk on his face. He's most definitely going to tell everyone.

"Ugh fine..." you sigh, blushing in embarrassment, "My mom sent me here because I kept stealing, lying, and sneaking out..."

His eyes widen in surprise, "You serious? YOU? The prissy little model student?" he begins to laugh, "Holy shit. This is amazing, I had no idea you were so cool."

"What? Cool...?" No one's ever called you cool before, you were always just that shy nerdy kid in school.

"Hell yeah, that's badass!" he shouts, genuinely excited.

To be honest, Gyutaro always thought you were cute. But he avoided you because your reputation put a sour taste in his mouth. He didn't want to be associated with someone like you. But now that he knows your secret he's more than happy to be your friend. Or maybe even more.

Throughout the first few days of camp, Gyutaro sticks by your side. The two of you bond through exercises and activities run by the teachers at the boot camp.

But things take a turn for the worse when you get reprimanded by the most strict teacher on the campgrounds, Mr. Shinazugawa.

You were snickering with Gyutaro when Mr. Shinazugawa was talking, and he did not like that. Not at all.

"HEY YOU!!" He yells, "What the hell is so funny?! Drop and give me 40! NOW!!" Veins pop out on his temples as he demands you and Gyutaro punishment.

Gyutaro hates Mr.Shinazugawa so he whispers to you, "Just do it so he'll leave us alone."

But Gyutaro didn't realize how hard this would be for you. 40 push-ups are easy for Gyutaro, but you struggle to even do 10. And Mr.Shinazugawa won't let up.

"I-I can't do it," you whimper as you try to hold yourself up.

"STOP COMPLAINING!! IF YOU DON'T STOP WASTING MY TIME I'M GOING TO CONFISCATE YOUR DINNER!" He yells in your face.

You feel embarrassed as all of the other students stare at you, so embarrassed that you begin to cry. And that is the final straw for Gyutaro.

"FUCK YOU, MAN!" Gyutaro rasps as he pushes Mr.Shinazugawa, "Don't talk to them like that!! Pick on someone your own size!"

Mr.Shinazugawa is known for losing his temper, so what happens next isn't pretty. A fistfight breaks out between him and Gyutaro. Other teachers have to run in to put a stop to it.

Once Mr.Himejima, the coordinator of the boot camp, hears about the incident he decided it'd be best to suspend you and Gyutaro from the program in order to avoid any lawsuits. Especially since Mr.Shinazugawa got physical with Gyutaro, both of them getting a few good hits on each other.

The next morning the two of you are instructed to pack your things and leave camp, which you do very quickly since neither of you want to be there.

"Thanks for standing up for me, Gyutaro," you say as you walk with him to the train station.

"It was nothin'," he blushes, "I couldn't let him talk to you that way."

"You know," you stop and look up at him, "You're more of a gentleman than I thought."

Getting on your tip-toes you lean forward and give the tall delinquent boy a kiss.

His entire face goes red and he's left speechless, just watching as you smile back at him while walking towards the train.

"Are you coming? The train won't wait for you, silly!" You yell as you enter the train that's headed back to your hometown.

"Oh!" he finally snaps out of it, though his face is still as red as a tomato, "C-Comin'!"

Now that you don't have to go to boot camp anymore both of you will be free all summer. Maybe Gyutaro can take you on a date or two before the school year starts. And if he's lucky, maybe you'll become more than just friends.

[mythunderstorm]

Maybe in another life | LN4

Lando Norris x fem!reader

word count: 2,7k

summary: Lando cares about you. But it isn’t enough to fix what went wrong between you two.

warnings: fwb situation; unrequited feelings; both reader and Lando act like assholes at some point; Lando has mood swings like every two fucking seconds; reader has some serious fucking issues and needs to learn how to communicate; angst. just angst; not proofread

…i kinda hate this

masterlist

„Hello Darling“

You freeze, not thinking he'd find you out here. You wouldn't say you're avoiding Lando, but facing him wasn't something you wanted right now either.

You're sitting on a small hill in Monaco, watching the sea and how the waves are crashing against the shore. You needed a break, get some air and maybe forget that nasty feeling deep inside of you. You know your mind is playing tricks on you, but you can't help but notice that sour taste in your mouth whenever you think about it.

„How did you know I was gonna be here?“ you question him without looking at his face, keeping your gaze on the water and the setting sun in front of you.

„I knew because I'm tracking you, following you and watching you.... Kidding. I followed my gut. You okay there?“

Normally, you'd laugh at his stupid jokes. But right now you really weren't in the mood. You didn't know how to answer him, so you just kept silent.

Lando comes and sits down next to you. „Are you alright?“ He seems concerned.

„I'm okay“, you answer shortly without showing any emotions in your tone.

„You don't seem okay?“ He leans forward a bit and puts his hand on your shoulder. He tries to make eye contact with you.

„..I really wanna be alone right now.“

Lando moves his hand.

„I don't think that is the best idea. What happened? Did someone hurt you?“ He sounds genuinely concerned, almost like he is hurt by the thought of you being hurt.

You have no idea how to answer this. You couldn't exactly tell Lando that he's the reason you're feeling like this, even though he did nothing wrong. You weren't dating. He wasn't yours. He could flirt with and kiss whoever he wanted. Just because you guys had a friends with benefits going on didn't give you the right to be jealous. Because that's what you guys are. Friends. Nothing more.

„I'm fine, Lando. Go back to the party, alright?“

He moves so he is kneeling beside you. „I'm not going anywhere before I know that you are okay. You look like you're gonna cry any second, so please...“ He moves his hand on your shoulder again, gently caressing your neck.

„I'm fine. I'm not gonna cry and you don't have to worry.“ you answer while pulling away from his touch.

„I am not taking that as an answer. Look me in the eyes and tell me that everything is fine.“ Lando doesn't let you go and his tone of voice indicates that he means business.

You sign, turning to face him for the first time since he joined you out here. „Everything is fine.“

Lando doesn't seem convinced. „Really?“ He raises his eyebrows while still looking you dead in the eye.

„Yes. Now please go back inside.“

After a short pause, he says „no.“

„You won't fool me that easily. I can see it, the way you hide your pain behind a strong face. The way you talk. It's not fine and you know it.“

You take a deep breath, turning away from Lando yet again, concentrating on the water in front of you. „Even if something would be bothering me, which isn't the case, am I asking you to leave me alone. I just need some time to think through some stuff, okay?“

The boy notices that your voice has gotten a bit shakey and that it's hard for you to talk about it. „Hey hey.. no need to keep it all in. I can understand that you need some me-time but.. I want you to promise me one thing, okay?“ He waits for you to give him a response before moving on.

„..depends.“ Lando signs.

„Promise me that you won't do anything stupid. Promise me or else I won't go.“

„I promise. You don't have to worry about me.“

„I call bullshit.“ Lando leans in closer and places his face only a few centimeters away from yours. His expression seems a bit anxious and definitely worried. „Please just promise me.. and this time I want to hear it with your real voice. With your real emotion behind it, okay?“

„Lando.“

„Come on. Say it to me. I have to hear it coming from your heart. I need to hear you say it.“

You sign. „Just leave it alone, alright?“

„I'm not leaving you alone until you promise me.“ He seems really scared and worried about you. „Please..“

„I promise! I fucking promise but please...“ you're almost begging now, being in Landos presence is simply too much right now.

He sees that you're on the brink of crying now so he puts his hand on the back of your head and gently makes you lean against his chest so you are almost laying on him. „Hey hey.. it's okay.. it's gonna be alright.“ Lando tries to comfort you while stroking your hair and gently caressing your back.

You want to stay like this forever. Feeling Lando touch you, have him care about you. You want to snuggle closer to his body and act like all of this is real. Like you could really have a chance with him.

But you pull away. „Fuck Lando, why can't you understand that I don't want to see you right now“ you snap, regretting it a second after. He did nothing wrong, it's not his fault that you can't control your stupid feelings and he definitely doesn't deserve the way you're treating him at the moment.

Lando looks taken back by your sudden outburst. „Are you serious? I just wanted to make sure you're okay and now you treat me like this?“ He stands up, looking deeply disappointed and hurt.

„..i'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. You didn't do anything wrong, it's just.. it's me.“

He takes his time with answering but does it with a cold and harsh voice „I tried to help you, I cared about you and I wanted to help you through your shitty moment. And you repay me by treating me like shit?“

You close your eyes, not knowing if you can control your feelings any longer. You're on the verge of crying and you'll do anything that he doesn't see it. „I'm sorry Lando.“

His facial expression goes from anger to sadness in a flick of a second. His face gets softer but he still looks devestated. Then he turns around and starts to walk away but before he disappears completely he stops and turns back. „Don't expect me to care next time.“

You should be glad. He finally did what you asked him, leaving you alone. But after hearing Landos last words it felt like you lost a part yourself. It felt like he didn't leave you for only tonight, it felt like he left you completely.

Maybe it's better this way. You never intended to fall in love with him, he was very clear at the beginning of your small arragement that the relationshit between you two was plainly physical. He would never return your feeings, so maybe it was better for him to rid you from his life for good.

Nonetheless, tears started to stream down your cheeks and you felt completely devastated. You couldn't control yourself as sobs and sniffling noises filled the quiet night. You just layed there and cried, while looking at the moon that was shining above the sea in front of you.

---

Slowly but surely the tears stopped falling, your eyes getting used to the darkness of the night. Suddenly you felt like you weren't alone, turning your head, only to spot that Lando is standing next to you again. He kept his distance, but he is there.

Quickly, you turned your head back. „..how long have you been here?“ you whisper into the night after a few minutes of silence.

„Long enough to see how pathetic you are.“ His tone sounds harsh again. Shaking his head in disappointment, he says „I shouldn't even waste my time with you. What's wrong with you anyway? Why are you getting so emotional when someone wants to make sure you're okay?“ It’s a low blow, being mean like that. But Lando tends to speak up before he can think things completely through.

„Then why did you come back, if you feel like this“ you answer, ignoring his questions.

He doesn't reply to you immediately, staying quiet for what seems like an eternity. „..'cause I care about you. And you know it.“ His eyes search your face and his voice is filled with emotion. He really wants to see your face.

„You shouldn't care for me. I don't deserve it.“

„Why shouldn't I care? I can decide for myself if you're worth it... which you are.“ He puts his hand on your chin, making you look at him. „Please just look at me.“

You sign. You know Lando is trying to help you but he deserves someone better. Someone who didn't break the only rule you guys had. To not fall in love. You're only a burden to him, you know it and he knows it aswell. He told you mere minutes ago that he shouldn't waste his time with you. So, as much as it hurts, you're gonna let him go.

„..i don't think we should see each other again.“

Lando seems hurt by your words, as his face gets more grim and he tries to control his emotions. He doesn't want to get angry again. „So that's it? We just stop everything, just like that..?“ After saying those words he looks away, but deep inside he hopes you would say something else... Anything.

But you only nod, not daring to look at him. Landos shoulders start to shake ever so slightly. „Are you okay with this decision? I mean.. You don't regret it or anything?“

„It doesn't matter what I think about this. You wanted something easy. Something physically. And I can't give that to you. Not anymore.“

He stays silent for a second or two before answering „Can I ask you something before it ends for real? Do you.. Do you regret a single minute with me?“

You look down while pressing your eyes shut, shaking you head. „No. Not a single moment.“

He sees your reaction and doesn't say anything for what seems like an eternity. His face seems devastated and his eyes are filled with sorrow. But suddenly, he seems a bit angry again. „Really? Because I'm beginning to regret not telling you to get lost in the first place.“

You're eyes are welling up again, you want to look away but for some reason you can't. „The only thing I regret is breaking the only rule you made me promise not to break. So yea, maybe you should have told me to 'get lost' from the beginning.“

Lando can't believe your words. His anger turns into pain. He puts a hand on top of his head as he tries to take in what you just said. There is a long pause before he finally mutters out a silent „You.. You love me?“

Turning away from him, it feels like someone stabbed you in the heart. That's it, you think. The end. „It was never my intention, okay? You told me from the beginning that this is only physical, that the only thing you want is for us to not fall in love. Saying that we wouldn't work out anyway. So fuck, yes, I fell in love with you, even though I promised you not to.“

His eyes become wet as tears form underneath his lids. After a long pause, in a hushed voice, he finally replies „How long?“

You let out a shuddered breath, being too much of a coward to answer him.

„Tell me. How long?“ He is really trying hard to keep his voice steady and calm.

„..6 month“ your voice is barely a whisper.

After hearing your words he doesn't get angry nor disppointed. He doesn't even cry anymore. All he feels is pain. „Why didn’t you tell me?“

„Isn’t that obvious?“ you let out a humorless laugh, while Lando takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment.

„But please, at least tell me why you are telling me this now.. after everything... What's the point of telling me now?“ He sounds completely hurt and confused.

„Because I can’t keep pretending. I can’t keep pretending that it doesn’t hurt me whenever you leave my apartment late at night, that it doesn’t hurt me whenever you flirt with someone else, that it doesn’t hurt me to know that you will never love me back. So I‘m letting you go.“

He tries to speak but his voice catches in his throat.

„Don't.“ he mumbles. It takes a while until he starts speaking again. „Don't say that, please.“

He looks utterly desperate now. There is a huge lump in his throat and his eyes are completely filled with tears.

„..we can’t continue this. You know that Lando. We both want something from one another that we cannot provide. You want something without any feelings. But I‘m feeling too much.“

Shaking his head repeatedly, it’s almost like he doesn't believe the things you say, or like he doesn't know what to say anymore.

„I..I can..change. You are.. enough for me.“ He sounds like he is trying to talk himself into believing the things he just said, but deep down he knows it's not true.

„I love you..“ He now seems to have a little bit of hope in him, as if his words might change everything suddenly.

You meet his eyes, you really want to believe him. But you know it’s not the truth. „Don’t say something you don’t mean. Please.“ Your voice is just a shaky whisper.

The hope in his eyes quickly disappears as he looks at you. He only said what you wanted to hear, what your heart needed to hear, but he didn't even believe it himself. He is completely and utterly defeated now and he just looks at you with a hopeless and helpless look on his face. He does care about you. A lot. Besides the sex Lando would even go as far as calling you one of his best friends. But he knows it wouldn’t be fair to you to force you into staying in his life.

Slowly his head goes down and after a few seconds of silence he whispers a few words „Can... Can you hug me one last time?“

Tears are falling down your cheeks. This is it. This is the final goodbye. So you take a step towards him, circling your arms around his torso. You press yourself against him, taking in his scent for one last time.

„..maybe in another life we’re meant to be together“

Lando closes his eyes while feeling your body pressed against his. He can't believe that this is the end. After a few minutes he softly kisses your forhead and whispers into your ear:

„I will see you in another life, y/n.“

[venusbby]

hii! what would the reactions of bllk boys be if they found their s/o being insecure about their body? you can do scenarios or hcs or anything! :D

my first request i am absolutely sobbing .

since it wasn't specified which characters, i just wrote for the first bllk characters i thought of when it came to this idea. thankyou for requesting! <333

♡ characters: isagi yoichi, itoshi sae, kunigami rensuke ♡ warnings: mentions of insecurities, crying (not too detailed) gender of the reader isn't really specified, not proofread.

ISAGI YOICHI ☆

this man is heartbroken

and also very very confused

though isagi is always so understanding, he kind of does miss the point of your insecurity at first

because to him you are genuinely so beautiful and he doesn't fully get the whole image that you don't see yourself the way he sees you

but thats just what happens initially when he randomly comes into the room to find you staring at yourself in the mirror

he's so lost but it won't stop him from getting straight to the problem and carefully questioning you about what's bothering you

and once he hears you out, he just feels extremely stupid for not being there when you went through all of that alone

after that he's not going to ever leave you alone lol

he's a natural when it comes to comforting even if he does need a little push at the start

talks to you so softly and don't even get me started on how hard he tries to make you feel better about yourself

it almost makes you cry tbh

isagi is the best boyfriend ever

he sits you down, palm soothingly rubbing your back while you guys talk

ugh. i want him. sorry. back to it

he'll always reassure you in the most endearing ways ever

he doesn't even need to say anything actually. you can see it in his eyes how much he loves you for who you are and how much it hurts him that you feel this way

this man will be your footstool if he has to, but he will definitely not let you be insecure because you're literally his hardcore crush and he's in love with everything that is you. (you've been in a relationship for years idk what he's talking about but anyway 💀)

also he is such a lovesick idiot that he won't tolerate any nonsense from you about your appearance

"shut up, you look beautiful."

and then you're like "but my-"

"nO, be quiet. you're fucking beautiful"

he's aggressive with it but in an adorable way lol

it obviously takes time to get over your insecurities, but with a sweet lover like isagi yoichi, you're going to be just fine in some time.

and also if you're insecure about your thighs specifically.........

you probably know what the deal is with isagi and thighs. goodluck <3

ITOSHI SAE ☆

ah, this guy

he's very lowkey about it but does try to make you feel better

more than anything he feels shocked to discover that you're insecure about your body

in his perspective its like "i love your body. what's wrong with it"

when you open up to him he feels more in sync with your feelings

it is pretty unusual to see your boyfriend being this affectionate

but you're not complaining 😭

he really wants to help and is kind of shy at first (doesn't show it; typical sae) but when he realises that you're staring at him with this immense amount of love, he's gone

you know him so well and its obvious that since you're in a relationship with him, you are used to how he is

so when you see that he really does not want you to deal with this by yourself, you can't help but feel so lucky and yeah basically you just want to kiss him until he can't function

but let's keep that to the side and focus more on how he handles it

sae prefers physical stuff more than having to say stuff

not sure if i make sense.

he's so much more confident in what he can do than what he can say

he just holds you. yup.

if you feel like just staying silent and clinging to him, u got it

or if you want to cry, u got that too

he's going to be like your personal pillow

and this is just for helping you get your emotions out (if needed)

he's gonna do it all fr

doesn't matter what you're insecure about

sae is going to make sure you know how much he is in love with you lol

as unbelievable as it sounds he's ready to get on his knees and tell you everything and anything he loves about you both physical features as well as your personality

but he's itoshi sae and he isn't very good with his words (unless he's shit talking on the pitch)

so get ready to be held and kissed

you might get caught off guard but again, seeing him trying his best to show how much he loves you and how much he adores your body makes your face heat up

not to mention how he looks at you like you're the most important part of his life

im being fr he is in love and he is not afraid to show it

once he gets to know about your insecurities he's going to kiss them away (LITERALLY) hope you're not ticklish—

don't forget to kiss him too :') he may be itoshi sae but still, he deserves some love

he'll always casually compliment you on the most simple or the most tiny things (whatever it is you're not feeling too good about) as if he's totally forgotten that he spent all day yesterday leaving lil kisses everywhere (ahem get your mind out of the gutter but don't do it if you dont want to ig 😰)

i love him. so should you.

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE ☆

again, another confused baby

not for more than 4 mins tho

he is smart. he figures it out pretty quickly that you're spiraling when he sees you scrolling through your pictures with an unfamiliar expression

big big sweetheart

he hesitates to approach you about it at first because from what he thinks, you're not showing him any signs that you're troubled

he just doesn't want to hurt you or anything like that by bringing it up because he thinks that you don't want to talk to him about it

he gets why

but still

he's your boyfriend and he wants to help :(

eventually he finds a solution for it by speaking his mind

which means that when you walk into the room, regardless of where you are or who is with you, he's gonna compliment you

he's not making them up just to make you feel better— he's actually just saying the things he thinks every time he sees you

[crying, screaming, screeching]

soon after, he quietly talks about it when you guys are just lying in bed all warm and cozy, caressing your cheek and testing the waters to make sure he won't overstep boundaries

[crying continues]

once he asks you, you're just letting go of your emotions and talking to him about your insecurities while he just listens— he doesn't want to interrupt you

after that he will definitely make your eyes sting with his gentle words lol it totally depends like.. if you're a person who cries a lot or not. he's so good with his words and he didn't even know that until he was speaking to you and falling in love all over again watching your face slowly bloom

saying the right things, doing the right things, that's kunigami for ya

physical touch is also his thing so don't be surprised if he just hugs you and reminds you that he's in love with how you look today or how pretty your outfit looks or just anything that will let him see you smile and shove him away playfully

be lucky you have a kunigami because whew he is so cute

sigh. can you tell im in love with them?

[chaos-and-sparkles]

I yearn to talk about my Dracula!Holmes au, and the universe has seen fit to give me free will and internet access, so talk i shall.

Listen. Hear me out just hear me out.

We literally have Johnathan motherfucking Harker whose written POV we read Dracula from for like a solid half of the book, right. Well, no more, he's John Watson now babeyyy, a retired army man now gainfully employed as a lawyer who's off overseas to act as estate agent to the strange and eccentric client who has expressed interest in moving to foggy London... Count Holmes! [insert jazz hands]

Instead of being Evil(tm) and plotting to take over London or whatever, my guy is just Autistic. Also riddled with ADHD and in desperate need of some enrichment in he goddamn enclosure. He will also in fact be trans, because. Of course. Vampirism as a metaphor for queerness and the social ostracization that follows as a punishment and having inherently queer narratives intertwined in them etc etc... anyhow! Count Sherlock Holmes, vampire detective!!!

(I do also want him to be aroace, or aroacespec at least, but I'm willing to negotiate for the Johnlock and the Johnlock alone.)

Mina Harker here is of course the one and only Mary Morstan, although it is clearly a lavender marriage, because we aren't cowards in this household and so Mary gets to be gay with her Lucy equivalent here, just as god intended. I haven't decided who her Lucy equivalent will be yet but this au is still young (technically I've been going insane about it in my mind for like a month or two but whatever) and there's no reason we can't make up an OC for her Lucy.

John Watson, resident gay doctor lawyer, of course, is smart enough to realize the enigmatic Count Holmes' vampiric secret within like one adventure, but he sure is going to have a slow burn of realizing just how gay he is for said enigmatic Count Holmes. We, of course, get to witness this tooth rotting bullshit firsthand as we read his diary entries and some later letters to Mary.

And instead of being one long gothic horror narrative, it's just adventure of the week with your friendly neighborhood crime solving vampire, the various other mythical creatures who do said crimes, and Just Some Guy.

Just, every Sherlock Holmes adventure adapted into this au with other supernatural elements. The guy from the Red Headed League is a local villager being bamboozled by a leprechaun, the Silver Blaze thing is about a kelpie. Everyone including Sherlock was operating on the assumption that Irene Adler was a siren, but actually she was just a regular human, and instead of unlearning misogyny (bc I don't see trans vampire Sherlock living so long through changing times and society and being sexist), Sherlock has to learn not to underestimate the intelligence of humans.

Also, he's just really excited to have this new human, John, living in his castle. So curious, too, about humans, he has sequestered himself from them for such a long time and John seems like a very interesting one. He's probably the first friend Sherlock has had in a long time, too.

Also. Instead of being warded off or harmed by garlic, to Sherlock, garlic is just the vampire version of cocaine. He just gets high as fuck off garlic. Could live on the stuff. And the reason people think he's warded off by garlic is just because he was seen getting high off his ass, turning into a bat, and flying away in loop de loops upon consuming garlic one (1) time. And everyone thought it's his weakness. And he never bothered correcting them bc Why Would He. He's basically getting free cocaine left and right from villagers who are scared/wary of the supernatural Count Holmes and only go to him when there's no other option, and it's no bother to leave people he's not investigating alone.

I genuinely do think cocaine!garlic addicted Sherlock has so much comedic potential, it really is so beloved to me. Just imagine, if you will, an extremely put-upon John Watson caring for Batlock who has gotten high off his ass and refuses to stop flying into his own antique chandelier.

I was also thinking that it would be funny to have Mrs. Hudson and Mrs. Turner in place of Dracula's sexy vampire roommates or whatever those three were lmao (I couldn't think of a third character, sorry)

Also. Obviously. Van Helsing has got to be Moriarty, by virtue of opposition. I do think their whole deal has a lot of potential to be very funny and entertaining also. I am also considering it might be fun to have Lucy's other suitors be the Scotland Yarders, like Lestrade, Gregson and what have you, but that risks missing out on the very fun possible dynamic of "Sherlock being exasperated with the dumbass out of their depth Yarders he keeps helping" raised to like the hundredth degree so. I honestly would like people's thoughts on that.

Anyway so YES, Dracula au please and thank you. Maybe with endgame QPR Johnlock? Yes? Please? Queerplatonic husbands Johnlock is my shit.

In conclusion: THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK <3

[love-hatred-stuff]

solo [sequel shot]

》 alright so I know it's starts off rough but this is for those who needed a happy end for my fic "solo"

Enjoy my babiesss :3 ♡

"Come on. Please tell me what I did wrong and I'll fix it."

"I'm wrong, James! I was wrong and that isn't your fault. I just don't wanna hang out anymore." A few tears slipped past your eyelids. You were devastated and you knew this day would come. You knew one day he'll find someone that's better than you. Not as broken as you. More useful as a partner in a relationship and not someone who ruins fucking everything.

You were truly heartbroken. But you tried to be happy for him and you were actually. It stung nonetheless, seeing him with another girl that seems to be so put together, so emotionally available. Complete opposite of you and you guess that's why it hurt even more. Him picking someone who is the exact opposite personality type of yours, not to mention someone who looks completely different from what you looked like. It underlined your deepest fear, him actually prefering everything that doesn't represent you.

The thought that had held you together for the past years had suddenly lost its meaning, the thought that he loved you more than anyone else, his promise to be always available for you, vanished, broken. You tried to understand, but it was more than just hard to comprehend.

"But why won't you tell me the reason!?" Bucky was crushed when he heard from you that you can't see each other anymore privately, that he had to forget about you and your close friendship. Because what you didn't know, was that he still loved you, he never stopped. He had never found someone better than you because for him someone like that doesn't even exist. Bucky only ever wanted you to be his, the person he's been in love with for the past two years, the one that he can't help but feel the need to take care of.

"I can't just say 'yeah okay, I won't bother you anymore' to my best friend of so many years I've lost count! You're not just a friend to me, y/n. You're everything I have. You're the only person that truly knows me." James wiped his mouth in desperation. He couldn't loose you. He'd stop breathing.

"Yeah, clearly not." You mumbled under your breath.

"What was that?" He didn't quite catch that.

"James, you know how I am. I'm selfish, manipulative and stubborn. I can't look at your face anymore. Not while knowing you're thinking of someone else while looking a me."

Buckys eyes widened. Only now realising what was going on.

"Why would I do that? I only ever think of you. My brain doesn't even know what to think of otherwise. Would you mind to explain what or who got you thinking this way?" He k ow demanded further explanation.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I'm gonna head home." Was the only answer you gave him, taking your bag, ready to leave him the fuck alone with his new girl.

"I think the fuck not." Bucky walked in front of you, blocking your way.

Now it was your turn to be surprised. He never talked to you like this. He barely cursed.

"I really should though, I don't wanna take away your quality time with someone else." It may have sounded childish but you meant it. You didn't wanna take away his chance to find and enjoy love. You've done that enough the past years.

"What are you even talking about? I don't have anyone else to spend my time with, are you kidding me?" He was endlessly confused.

This was the last straw, now you were getting angry. He should stop acting like he wasn't meeting up with this girl that he met at a party. You were fucking there when they introduced each other. And you were convinced he had already slept with her. Though you wouldn't blame him, as she really was gorgeous, not only that, but she seemed genuine, too. A real catch.

"Are you kidding me?! James, stop acting like there's nothing between Anna and you! I know there is, I have eyes, you know. Besides, Steve always tells me how much you talk, not only with her but also about her. And knowing that makes me sick! I want you to be happy, and if that happiness doesn't require me, I'm fine with that, but I don't wanna watch you fall in love with her! I just can't, okay? So my decision is to avoid you two so I don't have to look at it any fucking longer, or else I'll go insane!" That's it. That's all you had to say. It was more than you intended to but at least you've got it out.

Bucky just stood there, completely baffled, speechless. He couldn't believe it.

You've tried to shove him out of your way, but he didn't budge.

"If you aren't gonna say anything, can I leave?" You groaned, feeling vulnerable now that he knew your heart.

"So you are telling me, you're jealous of Anna? Of someone who'll always be more interested in you than me?" Your heart began to race.

"Are you implying that she isn't into guys?" You wanted to make sure, not quite getting his point.

Bucky nodded calmly.

"Yeah, she's into you though." He replied.

"Oh my God!" You scoffed, embarrassed by yourself, looking anywhere except his eyes.

"I really thought you liked her. I thought you two were hooking up. I'm so sorry for misinterpreting this, James."

"Quit with the 'James'. You were jealous, weren't you?" He nudged you.

"I guess I was." You nodded shyly.

"Does that mean that- that you like me?" His cheeks getting rosy, you looked up at him.

"Of course I like you, dork!" You laughed, but he sighed.

"No I mean; really like me. As in you're in love me?" Bucky was unsure and scared asking this, but it was time to make this confession.

You looked away, your smile turning into something more vulnerable.

"I don't know? I just want you to myself. I want you to only take care of me, no one else. You're only boy I would let sleep in my bed next to me. And over all I guess I wouldn't mind being more than just a friend to you."

Bucky gently stroked your tear stained cheek, looking lovingly into your eyes.

"You've always been more than a friend to me Y/n. If you let me, I would like to call you my girlfriend and not just my best friend. Because hell, I fucking am in love with you!" He leaned in and let his lips softly touch yours for the first time. It was even better than he imagined it to be.

You two kissed for the following ten minutes without having to take a break. When he carefully let go of your lips to breath, he leaned his forehead against you and sighed once again, this time in utter happiness.

"So what do you say? Will you finally be mine?" His voice sweet and so full of love, just like the kiss you had shared.

"I don't know, what did you say? Anna likes me, yeah?" You joked, giggling into his chest.

He laughed along with you.

"Don't you dare." Bucky smiled, giving you another kiss.

He knew he wouldn't ever be able to get enough of the girl he was now finally allowed to call his.

[number1mingyustan]

Home Sweet Home (12:24AM) ☾✹

fwb!au, yeonjun x fem!reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, Friends With Benefits Au

Warnings: brief smut, unprotected sex, cursing, yelling, toxic ass relationship, mentions of cheating, manipulation, degradation, multiple orgasms

Summary: Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it

Word Count: 2.2k

_______________________________________________

(a/n: FINALLY FINISHED THIS WHOOOOOOOO)

You weren't as strong as you thought you were. You foolishly overestimated your abilities and ended up worse than where you started.

You thought it would be easy not to think about him. With everything he put you through, he doesn't deserve it.

But you're weak.

______________

"Right there," your moans are muffled by the pillow your face is buried into.

Your thighs are starting to grow sore and your back hurts, but the pleasure outweighs the pain.

"Course it does," Yeonjun groans from behind you. "I always fuck you so good... treat you like the slut you are."

You whine in response, unable to form a coherent sentence with how dumb he was fucking you.

23 days, 1 hour, and 46 minutes.

That's how long it took you to go back to him.

12:24 a.m.

You saw on Ara's social media accounts that she and Yeonjun ended things again. She posted a heated rant about deserving to be treated better and it only took 31 minutes and 47 seconds before you ended up in his bed again.

You didn't even call beforehand, simply showing up at his door. You never went over to his place, but when he opened the door, he had no problem welcoming you in. He had a smug look on his face, smirking cockily as he leaned against the door frame.

On the outside, he presented himself as proud, but unbeknownst to you, he'd been through hell and back. Yeonjun had barely spoken a word to Ara since she got back from her trip because he was too busy hung up on you.

You clouded his every single thought in the time you were away from him. You weren't the only one counting how long it took. Every second felt like torture for him, you seemed so serious when you cut him off. He genuinely thought he would never see you again.

But of course, he wouldn't let you know that.

"Thought you were done with me," he cocked his head to the side.

You simply shrugged in response, too embarrassed to be in this situation once again. He pulled you in, shutting the door and muttering a 'don't do that shit again' before leading you into his bedroom.

Hence how you ended up here, tangled in his bedsheets with your third orgasm approaching. A harsh slap lands on your ass, then another. You cry out, burying your face deeper into the pillow.

Yeonjun pulls you back by your hips. "No running away... gonna fuck that little attitude of yours out of you. Dumb slut thinking you were done with me."

He lifts your head up, slowing down the pace of his hips. "Say you're sorry or I won't let you cum."

" 'M–mmph s–s or–ry!" you cry out.

He tilts your head back, forcing your back to arch more. "Didn't quite hear you baby."

"I'm sorry!" you cry out. "I won't do it again p–promise!"

Once satisfied with your answer, he starts fucking you again, granting you permission to cum. Moments later you're unfolding again, moaning and crying his name like a chant. Your body is in overdrive and you're extremely sensitive.

Not long after he pumps his load inside of you without another word. You don't even bother trying to warn him to pull out, you know better than to make demands with him.

He slips off the bed silently, leaving you alone as he enters the bathroom. There are a few minutes before he returns, hardly doing as much as giving your spent body a glance.

"Ara will be back sometime tomorrow to move out her shit," he says casually, pulling his shirt over his head. "I don't know what time, so you can't spend the night or anything or she'll be more pissed at me."

You hesitate to respond, knowing it's your cue to leave. but you're sweaty and exhausted and it's really hard for you to get out of this bed.

"So you guys are really done then?" You finally ask hesitantly. You're prying and if it's still a sore subject you know he'll flip and get pissed off.

He shrugs. "Probably, she finally found out about you and went batshit on me."

Correction: he told her. Again, something you would never find out. But after hardly speaking to her for 23 days, he suddenly decided to drop the bomb. It was completely unprompted while Ara was watching tv in the bedroom.

He walked in quietly and said 'I've been fucking someone else for almost a year.' Reasonably, Ara lost her shit, yelling and hitting his chest before ending things with him for good and storming out. He doesn't even really know why he did it, but it hardly phased him. He sat there staring blankly, blinking slowly as everything unraveled around him.

As soon as she left, he walked outside and lit up a cigarette.

Self sabotage.

Your eyes grow wide. "You're not upset... that it's final I mean?"

He shrugs again and smirks. "She and I are long overdue, besides I knew you'd be back."

You frown.

"The fuck was that even about?" he tosses you your shirt. "All your crying and carrying on when you said you were done with me."

You suddenly feel small under his gaze. He stares at you expectantly, searching for an answer. Your throat goes dry and you suddenly feel called out. "I t-thought I would be–"

"–Better off without me?" he finishes your sentence, plopping down on the bed next to you. "Don't be stupid baby, you need me."

His hand cups your jaw and he forces you to look him in the eyes. He stares at you intensely and you feel the tears starting to form in the corners of your eyes.

"No one else is gonna treat you like I do Y/n. You know you love it, you'd let me do anything I want because you love me. Right baby? You love me?" he coos.

You nod weakly, tears spilling from your eyes rapidly.

He wipes them away with his thumb. "What are you crying for? You got me now, that's all you really wanted right?"

You nod again shakily. You wanted this, asked for it really. As fucked up as it may seem, you fell in love with him. After months and months of sneaking around, you caught feelings for him despite how he treated you.

"Good girl," He releases your jaw and tosses you the rest of your clothes. "You can let yourself out."

__________________________

This is not what you wanted.

Over the past few weeks you've seen Yeonjun more than ever. When you two were sneaking around, contact with him was random and much more sparse. But now? There's nothing to hide and he's fully taking advantage of it.... sort of. Even with nothing to hide, he won't put in the effort to take you out or do anything with you besides sleep with you. Part of whatever this is still feels like you're sneaking around.

You thought you'd be happy to see him more often, foolishly. He comes over almost everyday without giving you so much as a phone call or text message, fucks you, takes a shower and makes himself at home. He sleeps on your couch and eats your food.

When he invites you over, it's no different. He'll spend all that time with you and really only talks to you in the bedroom. You're starting to realize you know virtually nothing about him and he clearly doesn't care enough to want to learn anything about you.

Nothing has really changed. He calls you 'his' and claims to be 'yours' but you know better than to get ahead of yourself and assume you're actually in a relationship.

The only thing different is that Ara is out of the picture, yet you're anything but a replacement. Even with her gone, you'll never be on the same level as her.

Their relationship was fucked, but they loved each other. While it may not have lasted, he did give her time, attention, and effort.

You used to secretly look forward to when he'd text/call you all those late nights when you were sneaking around. You hated that you were doing something so wrong, but it was exciting then. The guilt you felt then is nothing compared to how shitty you feel now.

But there's this nagging feeling every time you see him. It continues to grow, eating away inside of you. You got what you wanted, so why are you more miserable than before? You're no longer in the way of someone's relationship, so you're technically not doing anything wrong. Yet somehow it feels more wrong than before.

__________________________

Your naked body is still buried beneath his black sheets. The sliding door connecting his room and his balcony is still cracked open, causing a light breeze to flow through the room.

He stands just outside the door, leaning over the railing of the balcony in nothing but a pair of sweatpants. He's got a cigarette in hand as he looks down at the city beneath him.

It's getting late and you should probably go. matter of fact, you don't even want to be here. You were reluctant you come when he called , but ultimately you caved. As much as you say you hate it, you can't stop yourself from coming back to him.

It really is pathetic.

"Why aren't you staying the night?" he asks.

"I can't," you pull your shirt over your head. "I have work tomorrow."

He shrugs. "So? Just call out."

"I have been calling out, remember? Every time you've asked me to, I've done it. Three times this month already and we're only two weeks in," you frown.

He walks over, hand resting under your chin. He tilts your head, forcing you to look at him. "You're a good girl, I'm sure you've got plenty of sick days you can use. Call out."

You bite the inside of your cheek, shifting your eyes away from him and turning your head. His grip on your chin tightens, turning your head back to face him. "Call out." he repeats.

One again, you cave, whispering an 'okay' to satisfy him. He smiles, patting your cheek lightly. "Good."

"Now," he plays with the material of your shirt. "Get rid of this and we can go again."

__________________________

Two months, 8 days, and 13 hours.

That's how long you've been with him.

Every passing second drives you closer to your breaking point. You hate him, you really fucking hate him.

He has the fucking audacity to tell you he loves you too. You know it's not true, but you can't help but believe him every time he says it. It sounds so wrong coming from his mouth, like poison being spat right at you.

Yet you fall for it every time. You know he's lying, but he has such a strong hold on you that you can't help but listen to every word he says.

He doesn't love you, he loves controlling you. He enjoys having power over you and toying with you because he knows you'll let him. It doesn't matter what he says or does because he knows he can get away with it.

He may have loved Akari, but she made it hard for him to maintain control. She fought back, argued with him and resisted. As much as he loved her, he loved control more.

That's what made you so perfect for him.

All he had to do was tell you once and you'd do it for him. No complaints, no resistance. One text message asking you to come over and you'd come running like a dog.

He fucking loved it.

All he had to do was give a bullshit 'I love you' every now and then to keep you coming back. You don't know why you let him have such a power over you. You mistook whatever you felt for him as love and all he's done is take advantage of it.

You don't love him and he sure as hell doesn't love you.

__________________________

You feel like you can't breathe. You start to feel lightheaded and you think you might pass out. This cannot be happening to you.

Two fucking lines.

Those two stupid lines on this stupid stick.

You can feel your stomach growing tight. It's unsettling to see. You will not be tied to this motherfucker for another 18 years.

You hate yourself for being so stupid. You shouldn't have listened to him when he said you didn't need any protection. You shouldn't have listened to anything he's said to you since you first met him a year and a half ago.

If this wasn't a wake up call for you now, you don't know what is. What you need is to get the hell up out of here and never come back. All he's done is use you and you're done. You don't deserve a life like this and you will not raise a child to live the same life as you.

You collect yourself, burying the test in the bottom of the garbage can before turning out the lights and joining Yeonjun in the bed for the night.

Obliviously, his sleeping figure embraces yours. Even while sleeping his hold on you is tight, caging you in his arms while you lay awake in the bed.

You let him, not bothering to free yourself from his grasp. You let him have the satisfaction, knowing it will be the last time.

_______

Yeonjun woke up this morning to an empty bed. He looked around the room, but there was no sign of you. He slipped on a pair of shorts, rubbing his eyes as he ventured around his apartment in search of you.

To his dismay, he found you in his kitchen, fully dressed with a bag of the stuff you left at his place. "Where are you going?"

You jump at the sounds of his voice. "I'm leaving."

"That wasn't my question."

"I'm going home," you say from behind gritted teeth.

"You are home," he cocks his head to the side.

"No I'm not," you frown. "I'm going back to my apartment."

He shrugs. "Okay, I'll pick you up later tonight and bring you back here."

You bite your tongue. "Okay."

You turn around, taking a few steps toward the door before he stops you. He grabs your arm, "What? I can't get a kiss goodbye?"

You inhale, giving him a shaky nod. He presses a kiss on your lips and pulls away slowly. "I'll see you tonight, yeah?" he whispers in your ear.

You give him another shaky nod before leaving, sure to never come back.

______

When Yeonjun arrives at your apartment later that night, you're nowhere to be found again. He tries calling you, but it doesn't go through.

He tries texting you, but all his messages are turning green.

Now he's really pissed off.

He knew something was off with you this morning and now he's got all the confirmation he needed. He tries calling you, over and over again.

The number you are trying to call–

He lets out a frustrated groan, dropping his phone onto the ground. He begins banging on your apartment door in a fit of rage. "Open up Y/N! I know you're in there!"

He continues banging, louder and louder. "You fucking bitch! Open this door!"

He's furious. He had you under control, you were in his grasp. Everything was fine.

He won't find out until later that he's spending his time banging on the door with no one home. You packed up all your stuff and skipped town. You never wanted to see him again.

You were going to create a new life for yourself. One without that manipulative asshole telling you lies and controlling you. You were weak one before and succumbed to him.

But it was a mistake you sure as hell were not going to made again. _______________________________________________

© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.

[archivalofsins]

Hello!! I know it might be too early to talk about this but i wanted to know: what are your cover song predictions for the prisoners in trial 3?

It's never too early! I say as I answer this late so it really can't be too early now.

I was actually thinking about how cool it would be for the Milgram characters to cover the Musicians songs from Caligula Effect 2 because I'm in too deep now. So, this is the perfect chance. Too bad there are only eight musicians but right now my thoughts on that are-

Apologies for the late answer by the way.

Yuno: Alter Garden

"It all comes crashing down without a single sound. Vanishing in cold blood leaving nothing behind and when I think back on it. I just feel like a total fool for ever giving my love to you."/ "The day will come when these words of mine will no longer reach you either."/ "If you're not able to show me the light then don't give me anything at all. If the things I come to trust in can start to crumble so easily. Then I won't let anyone in anymore."

"“UNDER” My cord’s being pulled but nothing’s ever enough Contractual desires, oh what to do, FUTURE."/ "“UNDER” I feel the emptiness inside me. We agreed to seek each other, I wish we could do something about it, Future."

"Just the two of us, I feel a little tingle inside. Our love links us together. Just me alone, the warmth starts fading away. Let’s reload the warmth." - "Let’s just do it, please smile? Hooked up till the morning to this sweet “Umbilical Cable”. Let’s just do it, please smile?"

When I think back on it I just feel like a total fool for ever giving my love to you- And yet despite it all, somewhere deep inside my head, somewhere deep inside my heart I keep on crying out. But see though these feelings show only through tears. They aren't out of sorrow I just want you take these words to heart.

Though if we're talking about trial three I hope Yuno kind of gets a sad song- But at the same time.

Rabbit Hole or Poison Apple would be really good to hear her sing.

Though if Mahiru isn't lost it'd be interesting to see her get Rabbit Hole instead. Though it'd be interesting for Mahiru to get Status Effect Girlfriend. Basically, most songs I can think of for Yuno would be good for Mahiru too. Oh but no one has gotten Dilemma so that could be a good one for Yuno as well.

Yeah, thinking about it now Dilemma may actually fit best. For her given what I think is going on plus I'd just enjoy hearing her sing it. Speaking of Mahiru-

Mahiru: Q-Ai Senorita

"Say you love me! Say you love me! C'mon! Give me even more! Get stained! Get stained. Sate this greedy heart of mine. The words "I love you" alone can't tie me down. Embrace me tight with your- Embrace me tight with your- Embrace me tight with your genuine love."/ "Outside my head, true love, love. Inside my head, through with grief, grief. Outside my head, true love, love. Inside my head, through with grief, grief. Ravenous swelling emotions- Desperately seeking love, love. Dismay and disgust for birthdays. Impatient awareness of my self-styled "Prime"."/ "Tidy, conservative, humble? Oh, please! I nearly trashed it all. See, look! I'll chase after my bliss now. Oh, the pain. The pain. My stomach pangs."/ "This, right here, is how I truly am!"

"”UNDER” I don’t just want to give. Both giving and receiving are good things."" “UNDER” I don’t wanna just give. Giving and taking, this is how to be in love."

"I’m going to start relying on you if you’re kind to me, so please forgive me, thanks!"

(Fun fact in this interaction I chose are you alright not that's enough Kobato. Apparently, I am an outlier in this since literally every fucking let's player on earth apparently including the video, I got these screenshots from chose the that's enough response. Star jokingly made fun of me because if you do that you turn away from Kobato and just look at QP immediately to check on her. So, Star just said "You- 'Is this dude bothering you queen'." And the phrase and framing of my actions by them has lived in my head rent free since.)

Mostly using this because it gives a bit of context to Mahiru's statement about relying on people who have been nice to her or have shown her even a bit of human decency. Through using QP's response to the protagonist doing this. Like intervening was simply the right course of action in this scenario but QP falls in love with you because of this. Like let this sink in-

She falls in love with and views you rescuing her as doing what she said in her song embracing her with genuine love. The fuck is your reality like ma'am where your first response to being ran up on was to cower beneath your own arms and brace yourself and upon one person going hey now, we don't do this part here. We don't jump people after we've beaten them in combat and have never done that calm down. "Oh my gosh you rescued me from being assaulted directly after I said that guys anger was a red flag to me and indicative of a domestic violence case waiting to happen. I think I love you."

QP you shouldn't that is like the bare minimum of human decency what type of fucking people have you been around. If I didn't intervene, I would not only be a shit person but a bad friend who let's their friend do shit like that. That's not okay. Like this is the minimum to me what do you mean you're in love with me? What have your relationships been like before this? This is concerning but also fuck it we ball I guess... Are we gonna talk about this again because this is concerning. No hospital- Oh, okay.

Hopefully I don't learn anything about her songs lyrics that calls into question this sequence of events more-

See, look! I'll keep pursuing my paradise now. Oh, the pain. Pain! Damage: High! Say you love me! Say you love me! C'mon! Give me every bit you can! Touch me! Touch me! Fill the void in this heart of mine! The words "I love you" alone can't satisfy me- Embrace me tight with your genuine love.

"Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let’s just overheat together!" "If you don’t hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart. I pretended to be a good girl, but really, I don't want to say "I'm ok"." "I pretended to be a good girl, I don’t want to be “ok”." "The things that I only want to say to you, and the things that I want from you is love."

"It’s ok for everyone else but not for me. Unfair and stuck between in love and love." "This adorable, earnest, sincere ♥ Is bleeding, wailing, this is the end- What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”." "This can’t go on, something’s got to give, I even love saying the words, “I love you”. My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care!"

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE-

This, right here, is how I truly am!/ Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?

When it comes to her trial three cover song it's more than likely going to be Zombies considering the imagery in "I love you" and how the lyrics of Zombies would complement and add onto what we were given from her second trial song. Specifically-

I Love You: "This adorable, earnest, sincere ♥." "Mon-mon-monstrously in love in love. Mon-mon-monstrous, cuz I love you so much!"

Zombies: I'm transforming~ ♡♡♡ I luv you half-decomposed isn't bad. Why don't you too? I luv you, a secret between you and me. If we both just transform~♡♡♡♡

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "Let’s just overheat together!"

"I don’t need anyone else, as long as I have you I could do anything as long as you smiled, I actually believed that."

Zombies: If we just love each other- I luv you, you're the only one.

I Love You: "My love, it scored an own goal, destroyed my love and me with its weight- Tell me, oh tell me why, can’t I just do it right?!"

Zombies: I can't hear the thump, thump anymore. Our bodies are cold even when we hug. Oh well! If we transform, we transform!

"That’s inconvenient? I don’t care!"

Still would be interesting if she got Status Effect Girlfriend.

Back to Caligula Effect though- The next prisoner I've thrown into the musician microwave is Kazui.

Kazui: Swap Out

"Borrowed Satisfaction! Set it free, let your charms out. Everything you touch is filled with aspiration. Grant this clever TRICK-STAR the hope of rebirth. I wanna tell my past self, "Hey, dear boy I know you can reach the stars, real boy I know you're someone special.". Snatch up a pinch of envy as a substitute for self-love my signature ingredient from here on out."/ "Most things are no problem at all! That's right so let's keep dancing as we are."/ "I'll draw you in and guide you to them. So, c'mon take a look."

I know nothing's changed one bit. We're unshakeable professionals at deflection. The fraud on the otherside keeps growing rich in wit. Even if we went back it's all the same. So c'mon, take a look. Borrowed Satisfaction! What an ingenious world- Bet it comes from being so superficial. In the end we all get the short end of the stick. So, I've added to the epilogue- "Hey, dear boy you could've reached the stars, real boy I want to believe you're special."

"“UNDER” I keep on seeing dreams I am always indecisive, I can’t be saved."- "“UNDER” I just keep on dreaming half in, half out, I’m doomed."

"Where did I go wrong, probably from the beginning."- "All this time till now has hurt me, the scales of my heart has decided to sway If continuing to hide is called unhappiness, Not even one word will get to you." "Feelings shrouded in lies will float away and disappear."

"Since when have I ignored my feelings? It’s better to be a let down, than to be let down yourself." "INNOCENT, isn’t that right? Maybe, perhaps... or... could it come true... like It’s for the sake of true love, who wouldn’t lie for that?" "Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit." "Lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade."

Time and time again we lose sight of ourselves until we've circled right back around. Maybe our promises were too shakey. There's just no way to find out.

Lie, until it gets better.

Nope no singular way to find out what's up with that. Not a fucking one moving on. So, this is going to sound weird because early last year I said this was more than likely going to be a Shidou cover but that was before cat released showcasing very similar imagery to that in this recently released Deco song.

Really upping the chance of Kazui's third trial cover song being Poison Apple in my opinion. The lyrics of the song would accompany Cat well and would add more depth to Kazui. While keeping the energy of his previous cover songs.

Sadly, I'm getting fatigued. So, I'm not going to go into much depth these next parts. There are some prisoners that I want the trial three songs to be a surprise for. So I haven't put too much thought into it.

Mikoto (briefly)

I like to try to guess Mikoto's for fun but selfishly I still really want him to get Pseudo Hope Syndrome because i really like that song. Though Not A Devil may fit him on a surface level reading but I want to try to dive deeper there. Especially since his second mv didn't focus as much on his work as I expected it to. We still haven't even seen where he works at but apparently his job is what incited him to do the things he did. Kind of weird it's like he's just shifting blame where it's easiest and it's not just his job that was an issue but his entire life as his first glitched voiceline implies.

Just saying we see Amane's abuse but we haven't even seen this man at work yet that's a tad odd. Other than that. I personally think Pseudo Hope would add more depth to his character as well as wrap everything together neatly. Though I'll have to look it over again later with Double and see if my opinion on it has changed.

Mu

For Mu this may be obvious but Cinderella both her songs literally show her being in a coocon and starting over again from scratch only oming out when she feels safe enough too.

Her second song displays this more overtly while After Pain does it in a more subjective way. It would also fit with her last cover being MKDR.

Also,

"So irritating! Hello to the unfortunate me. I'm confused, hate it, hate it." "Getting angry, annoying, annoying- No, no, no! I want to say "I love you" when I'm cuter! AHH- No, no, no- It's not ok! I'll go back to a cocoon and try again!"

After Pain: "Postmortem makeup to hide my heart, how to solve it is a secret~ The stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note “I love YOU”."

"Hey, um... Nevermind, forget about it. I've never been able to say what I want to say. I can't stop my eyes from diverting self-hatred again."

After Pain: "Maybe I’m done. Just one more time before saying goodbye. I’m just kidding, please forget I said that." "If I was gone, if I had just disappeared- I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed."

Hello to the unfortunate me!/ I am always the drama queen.

So irritating! These shoes don't fit me! Getting angry, annoying, annoying- The bell is ringing, I'm covered in ash I don't want to go home yet. To the XX course. I want to try to dive into it.

The first time for Cinderela! So scared and dizzying, dizzying-

Ahhh- No, no, no I'm really not ok./ Hey, what if- If I am a bad girl?

Don't hate me.

The rest I want to kind of be pleassant surprises. So I haven't really been thinking about like I said before. Though I might think about some of the others at later dates. I really enjoy going in with as little guesses as possible for certain characters. Like Futa, Haruka, and Shidou. I still want to investigate Amane more later when I'm feeling well enough to and I do have a lot of Kotoko thoughts but I don't know if I have enough interest to interrogate what she'll cover next yet or not.

With the other three I just really like getting carried away for the ride and not thinking to much about what they'll get beforehand.

[wiener-jokes]

I Don’t Love You (Ianthony AU)

Chapter 3+4

Im so into writing thisTwT Im appreciate everyone who read my silly little story.I will upload this on AO3 when I finish writing everything. It’s on Wattpad for now

Chapter 3: I Want to Understand You

As the morning light gently filtered into Ian's room, he stirred from his sleep and reached out, only to find the absence of Anthony beside him. A subtle pang of sadness tugged at his heart, but he couldn't help but smile as he reflected on the sweet moments they had shared the night before. It offered some solace.

With a renewed sense of determination, Ian get up and prepared himself for another day at school.

Walking to school alone felt like a heavy burden on Ian's shoulders. The absence of Anthony by his side is still unbearable. He really need to get used to this.

Arriving at school, Ian couldn't help but notice how Anthony continued to ignore him, as if the events of the past day were nothing more than a distant memory. Ian longed to understand what was going on in Anthony's mind, but still he couldn't.

He knew that Anthony cared for him deeply, but the complexities of their friendship left him feeling bewildered and hurt. Why couldn't they just hang out like real best friends, he wondered. The love between them was undeniable, but understanding the intricacies of Anthony's actions remained a challenge Ian was determined to unravel.

Ian couldn't help but watch as Anthony mingled with his so-called "not friends" friends, a mixture of frustration and longing tugging at his heart. Why can't I be having fun with him like them?

Before the class started, two friendly faces approached him. It was Mari and Melanie, the only people apart from Anthony with whom he hung out regularly. They greeted him with warm smiles and settled in beside him.

Mari, with her bright eyes, grinned and complimented, "Ian, you're looking even cuter than ever"

Melanie chimed in, " Yeah, the bowl cut suits you omg"

Ian blushed at their kind Words. These girls are like a ray of sunshine. Anthony doesn't really bother them hanging out with me unlike when Ian tried to make friends with other guys. Ian really appreciate and grateful for their presence in his life.

Mari's sharp eyes caught him off guard as she observed him staring at Anthony and his friends from across the room. She didn't mince words, stating, "Anthony no longer hangs out with you?"

Ian, caught in his emotions, quickly responded, "No, we're still friends. He's just... well, he doesn't want to hang out in public, like last year."

Mari and Melanie, both concerned and upset, didn't hold back their feelings. Mari's voice carried a note of frustration as she said, "Ian, that guy is such an... well, excuse my language, he is a fucking asshole. I don't think he's your best friend."

Melanie added her own thoughts, her expression showing genuine concern. "Maybe it's time to make some new friends, Ian. You deserve friends who treat you better."

Ian, his heart aching, tried to defend Anthony, concealing his own inner turmoil. "No, really," he said, even though his heart was breaking inside. "I'm okay with it. I just... I don't want new friends."

Deep down, only God know how much he longed to be someone Anthony not ashamed of being a best friend with. Why can't he be the one?

To lighten the mood and divert his attention, Ian shifted his focus to Mari and Melanie. They chatted animatedly about school and upcoming assignments, as the class began, leaving the complexities of his friendship with Anthony behind, at least for the moment.

-</3-

As the class came to an end, Ian bid farewell to Mari and Melanie, putting on a brave face despite the turmoil in his heart. However, his attempt to distance his feelings from Anthony didn't last long.

In the corridor, Ian stumbled upon a disheartening sight. Anthony and a girl, the same one he had seen in Anthony's car, were making out by the lockers. Ian felt his heart drop at the sight.

Hastily, he moved on to his next class, where he spotted David talking to some other students. He greeted David with a wave, but he chose to sit far away, not wanting to upset Anthony or to be embroiled in any more drama. He is tired.

Ian had grown accustomed to the ever-changing cast of girls in Anthony's life, over time. In the beginning, he would inquire about Anthony's girlfriends, only to be met with silence and frustration, as if he were prying into forbidden territory. Anthony had become adept at dodging questions about his dating life, and Ian had learned to stop asking.

Now, when he noticed Anthony with yet another girl, a familiar pang of jealousy and hurt still tugged at his heart. He tried to ignore it, to mask the hurt with indifference, but deep down, he couldn't help but wish for a time when it was just the two of them.

When Anthony entered the classroom, he silently placed a milk candy on Ian's desk without a word or a glance. Ian understood that Anthony, a vegan, likely left the candy because he couldn't eat it himself. Without drawing attention to the gesture, Ian simply left the candy untouched on his desk.

Ian's phone buzzed with a message notification from Anthony. The message simply read, "Eat it. I got it for you because someone said it tastes really good."

Ian hesitated for a moment, conflicted by his feelings. He glanced at Anthony, who was watching him with a stern expression, seemingly upset that Ian hadn't appreciated the gesture.

With a resigned sigh, Ian decided to break the tension. He peeled the wrapper off the candy and took a bite. As the sweet flavor spread across his tongue, he couldn't help but admit that it tastes pretty good.

Another message slid into Ian's phone, and this time it was a simple inquiry from Anthony: "How's that?"

Ian replied, "It's good, Anthony. Thank you."

As he glanced over at Anthony, he couldn't help but notice how Anthony's stern expression from before had shifted into a genuine smile, and he was once again engrossed in conversation with his friends.

With a soft sigh, Ian took a moment to gather his thoughts and wrote down a poem:

"To my unknown lover, I weep day by day and night by night, wishing you wouldn't be a devil in disguise"

-</3-

At the lunch break, Ian opted for a secluded spot on the school's rooftop terrace. It offered a peaceful escape from the bustling lunchtime crowds, allowing him to enjoy his meal in solitude without the risk of unwanted dramas with Anthony.

A message from Anthony lit up Ian's phone screen: "Where are you? Are you with that orange head?"

Ian sighed before replying, "No, I'm on the rooftop, eating my lunch alone."

Anthony's response, a simple "good;)", carried a hint of reassurance. Despite their complicated dynamics, it was a relief for Ian to know that Anthony still cared about him. Or is he?

-<3-

As Ian was walking home, he heard David's voice calling out his name from a distance. He stopped and waited, watching as David approached.

"Hey, I was looking for you at lunch," David said with a friendly smile. "Where have you been?"

Ian, not wanting to complicate things further, decided to offer a simple explanation. "Oh, I was in the library, reading books," he replied.

David nodded in understanding. "That sounds like you," he said with a chuckle. "Mind if we walk together? We're headed in the same direction."Ian, despite his reservations, agreed.

As Ian and David continued to walk together chatting , the unmistakable sound of Anthony's race car reverberated down the road. Ian, hoping to avoid any confrontation, chose to ignore it, thinking that Anthony wouldn't notice him either way.

However, to his surprise, the car suddenly pulled up alongside him and David, coming to a stop.

As Anthony's car screeched to a halt beside him and David, they exchanged curious glances. Anthony, without so much as a glance their way, told Ian with a stern tone, "Get in."

Ian, taken aback by Anthony's abruptness, stammered out a quick farewell to David, who appeared confused by the situation.

Ian: "Uh, David, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

David nodded, still puzzled, and this seemed to intensify Anthony's stern expression.

Anthony revved the engine impatiently as Ian settled into the passenger seat, then slammed his foot on the gas pedal, speeding away from the scene without a word.

The ride to Ian's home remained shrouded in heavy silence. Anthony didn't utter a single word, and Ian felt equally unable to break the tension. The drive was brief, and when they arrived at his destination, Ian mustered up the courage to speak.

Ian: "Thank you for dropping me off."

But Anthony didn't respond. He continued to grip the steering wheel, his gaze fixed straight ahead, his expression resolute.

Ian stepped out of the car, and as he closed the door, Anthony impulsively tossed a package of candy that had been in the car onto the ground. The candy bag landed at Ian's feet with a thud. Before Ian could react, Anthony sped off without a single word.

Ian stood there, holding the discarded candy bag, watching as Anthony's car vanished from sight. A whirlwind of emotions swirled within him, leaving him uncertain about how to process what just happened. Why are you being like that, Anthony? I want to understand you. I really do.

-</3-

Chapter 4: Sugar, We’re Going Down

That evening, Ian waited, hoping Anthony show up at his house to talk things out. But Anthony didn't even answer Ian's calls or reply to his messages. Ian's attempts to study and distract himself fell flat. Maybe studying is not the best way to distract after all.

After completing his schoolwork and having dinner, Ian turned his attention to a project he'd been working on for months – a red sweater meant to be a birthday present for Anthony. Ian isn't a master at crocheting, but he had poured his heart into this gift, and it was turning out quite well.

Anthony had a peculiar quirk; he didn't like Ian spending too much money on him. This was evident when, on the last birthday, Ian had bought him a silver chain with the money he'd saved up all year. Anthony had stormed out, frustrated, cause he believed such gifts didn't require much effort and simply buying something like this for him doesn't make him feel special.

But Ian's intentions were different. He simply wanted to reciprocate the kindness Anthony had shown him over the years, with gifts like video games and merchandise. Despite the rocky start, Ian had noticed that Anthony still wore that silver chain every day since then. It was a silent acknowledgment that, in his own way, Anthony did appreciate the gesture and it's warm his heart.

Worry gnawed at Ian as he stared at the almost-finished sweater meant for Anthony. With this complicated situation between them he worried that he couldn't get a chance to never give him. He gently set the sweater aside and decided to make one last attempt to reach Anthony before retiring for the night.

Dialing Anthony's number, Ian hoped for a response, but there was only silence on the other end. Ian let out a heavy sigh, feeling the despair welling up within him.

In a last-ditch effort, he sent a message: "Good night, Anthony. Sleep well. I miss you." With that, he set his phone down and, overwhelmed by emotions, shed silent tears as he drifted into a troubled sleep.

-</3-

The next morning, Ian awoke with sore eyes and an overall sense of unease. He didn't feel well at all and could really used a day off. However, his determination to see Anthony led him to decide to go to school anyway.

As he made his way downstairs for breakfast, his mom immediately noticed his condition.

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked. "You look a bit under the weather. Maybe you should stay home today."

Despite the tempting offer of a day off, he couldn't bring himself to miss school, he need to makes things up with Anthony. With a weak smile, he tried to reassure his mom.

"I'm okay, Mom, really," he replied, his voice somewhat strained.

Despite his insistence, Ian struggled to keep down the eggs and bacon she'd prepared. Every bite felt like a challenge, and he had to battle the urge to vomit. Nevertheless, he managed to finish breakfast and headed off to school, his determination driving him forward even as his body protested.

-</3-

When Ian arrived at school, he immediately noticed that Anthony was nowhere to be found. Concern gnawed at him, and he reached for his phone to send a text to Anthony, asking where he was and if he was okay. However, his messages remained unread, and there was no reply.

As the school bell rang, Anthony still hadn't shown up. Ian couldn't help but wish he had chosen to stay home that day. Anxiety weighed on his mind, and he muttered softly to himself, "Where's Anthony?" just as the teacher entered the classroom.

As the classes dragged on and lunchtime approached, Anthony still hadn't made an appearance. Ian felt exhausted, both physically and emotionally. The lack of appetite made the thought of eating unappealing, so he decided to retreat to the library for a much-needed nap.

On his way to the library, Ian couldn't help but notice how every student seemed to be part of a group, laughing and enjoying themselves. He used to be one of them, a popular kid who was hyperactive, playful, and everyone's friend. But that had all changed when Anthony entered his life. Anthony had become his sole focus to the point where he became Ian's only friend. Ian didn't mind that at all, though, because he loved Anthony deeply.

However, seeing all the other kids having fun without him made him question if his life could have been better without Anthony. Would he have a more typical high school experience? He couldn't say for sure, but one thing was certain – despite the loneliness and uncertainty, he would always choose Anthony over anything else.

-</3-

Students are scattered around the field. Ian always hated recess. Most of the boys are playing football some are doing cardio and stuffs. Ian isn't good at sport. So he decided to join Mari and Melanie running. He loves running and he's pretty good at marathon.

The girls noticed that he's not feeling good and worry ask if he's okay. He don't want to lie to girls so he just said he isn't feeling really good but he's okay cuz he took a nap at lunch. Write conversations. The girls worry and tell him to rest for a while.

By that moment a ball from across the field came directly to Ian and hit him in the face. It came from Shayne Topp, he's as popular as Anthony at school. They used to be friend at the first junior year but they stopped hanging out when Anthony came in. Now he's in Anthony's friend group.

Ian'a nose is hurt and it's bleeding. Shayne is just laugh it off and doesn't even seems to care that Ian's hurt. The girls are frustrating but Ian doesn't want them to make a scene so he stopped them.

Gym teacher is the only one who came in to help and he lead him to the nurse office. Nurse gave him some ice and painkillers for his sore nose. At this point Ian don't think he can make it till the end of the school so he got permission to leave and called his mom to come pick him up. This day couldn't get any worse.

-</3-

an lay quietly on his bed, a damp towel soothing his throbbing forehead as he battled a migraine and nursed his sore nose. The melodic strains of Fall Out Boy's "Sugar, We're Goin Down" played softly on his mp3 player, the lyrics of the song resonating with his troubled thoughts.

"Am I more than you bargained for yet?

I've been dying to tell you

Anything you wanna hear

'Cause that's just who I am this week."

The lyrics seemed to cut deep as he pondered what had gone wrong between him and Anthony. What had he done to cause this rift? Ian would go to great lengths for the man he loved, and he truly had. But somewhere along the way, things had taken a turn.

"Drop a heart

And break a name

We're always sleeping in, and sleeping

For the wrong team."

God knows how much he love Anthony. But it's not like he's asking to be his boyfriend or something. He just want to be someone Anthony isn't ashamed to show off.

"We're going down, down in an earlier round

And sugar, we're going down swinging

I'll be your number one with a bullet

A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it"

He would never stop loving Anthony no matter how he treats him. He would gladly trade the world just to be by his side. But where had things gone wrong?

With his fever rising and his body aching, Ian felt an urgent need for Anthony's comforting presence. He checked his phone, seeing that the messages he had sent were still marked as "delivered." Swallowing his pride, he sent another message, "I'm really sick right now, Anthony. I miss you. Hope you're doing well."

Despite the vulnerability he felt, Ian doesn’t mind being a chaser, after all, Anthony is way out of his league and Ian should be grateful that he still considers him as his best friend. Ian closed his watery eyes and drifted into a restless sleep, hoping that things would get better when he wakes up.

-</3-

A/N:hope everyone has a good day<3

[fabcreature]

random thought, but i think it might be somewhat harmful when foreigners talk about finland as this wonderful utopia where children at school aren't given homework (false), there are no homeless people (also false), healthcare is free (close, but leaving out some details there), college is free (kind of true, in that there's no tuition (unless you're a foreigner..) but it's complicated and people still have student loans they need to pay off), there's no discrimination and everyone's treated equal (nuh uh), the police are trustworthy (nope), and it's like 90% forests and nature is respected and taken good care of (i LAUGH in your face, i LAUGH).

i can't rly comment on if/how it's harmful for said foreigners to fantasize about finland being this utopia when it's not. but i feel like it's got a negative impact on finland and finnish people themselves.

because we see those things people say about us. and sure, something like kids not getting homework is easy to laugh off and be like "that simply isn't true, who the hell made that up?" but a lot of the other stuff, people internalize it. finland is named the happiest country over and over again, is praised for it's high standard of education, and people talk online about the country like it's the western liberal's wet dream. and when people internalize this and adopt an attitude of finland being the greatest place to live, we're all so equal, we're all so healthy, we're all so happy, it gets really hard to criticize it when finland does things wrong. and it does things wrong A LOT.

like yea people complain and say "happiest country in the world? no one asked me". but people also always say "it's a lottery win to be born in finland", and the moment you start actually genuinely criticizing finland for its systematic flaws, the inequality, poverty, racism, the average person will shut you down with all of those "it's much better here than in other places" and start spouting about all those things that foreigners praise us for, a lot of which isn't really even true. i think it may be part of the reason why finnish people are so passive, not bothering to participate in politics any more than voting every couple of years, and just shrugging it off and accepting it when the government does absolutely horrendous things! not only do they not see how terribly flawed our country is, they believe that this fabricated utopia will protect itself and nothing can tear it down because we live in such a great country.

like i was always taught that finland is so great and progressive and people are happy and equal and it's all great! and because of this it took me a really long time to realize there are things wrong here and there are forces we need to fight! as a kid i romanticized this idea of rebellion and revolution, but i thought i could never be part of something like that because finland is such a great country to live in, there's no corruption or injustice to fight against. and that is. simply not true. there is so much wrong here. thankfully i've seen that and i am trying my hardest to fight against that.

sorry my rant's a little all over the place, i did not compose any fancy speech, i was just writing thoughts as they came to me. i've just been pretty frustrated with this lately, possible partially brought on by people in the notes my eu elections meme thinking finland's most recent results are representative of our country's politics as a whole. the past year or so has felt so fucking hopeless and infuriating i am genuinely scared for what this country is coming to. and like, i like the place i grew up, and i hate traveling, so i've never really been tempted to move away from my hometown, let alone abroad, but now recently for the first time i've thought that maybe in the future i'll have to move someplace else if this continues the way it's going now.

we are NOT doing good.

[renyerokami]

domestic problems venting

I can be having a good/meh/ok day home alone. and then my partner comes home and I say one thing wrong. not even thinking that it could be something that could be taken badly, and my night is ruined. because if I apologize for upsetting him it's "overacting" or "turning him into the bad guy" and I'm "being too much" around him after he's had a bad day. which half the time I don't even know he's had a rough time because he won't have spoken to me at all while he's at work. so then I have to spend the rest of the night being completely neutral while not being too obvious in my body language, or tone, or anything that I'm at all upset. because that will only make things worse. the best I can hope for is that he will ignore me the rest of the night. most likely there will be a panic attack and I'll be left scrambling for how best to help him when I now don't have the emotional energy left to want to. and at worst he'll find something to get angry about, start a fight/start yelling at me, and then leave me with the silent treatment for a few days (which can happen after a panic attack too but usually without the aura of hostility).

today for me started off with not having the energy to leave bed until after 10am, then sitting around in decision paralysis until 2pm. finally opening the game that I had been planning to play all day and then my Partner started messaging me to figure out dinner. in there was a single mention of "I'd really rather not run to Walmart, I'm having enough issues today". that was the only notice I had that things weren't ok for him. he asked me to bring down a shirt when he got home and when I did I started talking about what I found out while playing BG3. he says "thanks for the spoilers" and I stopped and apologized. I just get excited when I learn things and I wanted to share it. but then he told me to stop "overplaying my sorrow and start making dinner". in hindsight i should have seen that as him being overstressed but i thought he was just mad about the spoilers. with him there isnt much difference in outward show. but that the last words he spoke to me. instead he ranted loudly in the shower for a while and then went silent to me when he got out. 2 hours later I got this discord message:

I can't tell you how much I genuinely want to believe you give one flying fuck about me anymore. I said I'd been having a lot of issues today and apparently out right saying it isn't even enough to get something resembling legitimate care or concern from you. When you came into the bathroom to give me my shirt I could feel the exhaustion and misery on my face so I can only imagine it must have been pretty noticeable. What did you give me? A smile, a slight chuckle, and then you started going off about meaningless bullshit. You couldn't even be bothered to give me a hug or ask me how I was doing/what was wrong. Honestly, it fucking hurt. It hurt a lot and this is just one part in an ever growing pattern of behavior that I have tried to make you aware of and you've shown little to no sign that you are, or even care to, work on it. The best I get are seemingly empty platitudes of " I'm going to talk about it in therapy" or "I'm working on that woth Kevin", but there never seems to be any signs of actual progress, so I'm left to question if you are actually doing any of what you are saying you are doing, or just feeding me lies that you think I want to hear. I don't expect you to be perfect and get it right everytime I'm feeling down or have had a bad day, but honestly it doesn't even feel like you try to support me anymore, and that really stings because I have been working really hard and putting in an honest effort into fixing my shit so I can be a better person, not just for myself, but for you and everyone else I give a damn about.

Now I feel like complete shit because I didn't notice that he was having a bad day. and I've been doing nothing but support him for the past 14 years. yes things got rough a couple years ago when I needed him to help me too, when my own mental health couldn't handle things anymore during the pandemic. but through all of the struggles I have been there for him as best as I could. and I am working on things in therapy, but when even simple things can get taken the wrong way or a missed phrase in a message can lead to being ripped to shreds it leaves me feeling like the best way I can fix things is by removing myself. because I can't mess things up if I'm not around to.

[essskel]

my brain is poopoo i forgot to add one thing sorry again 😭

i don't think the scoia'tael could ever change their mind about roche and ves simply because they're wiping out their race. no matter the cause the elves would never forgive them nor would they wanted to cooperate with them in any way unless it's convenient. they can't just say 'oh i was just protecting my country but now im different let me help you' and the elves would forgive them or let them near. they don't need their pity nor they help. the least they can do is leave them alone and help non-humans other ways.

this is the main reason why i can't bring myself to ship rorveth...yes they respect each others abilities in canon but that doesn't erase the fact that roche is still an oppressor (again no matter the motives) and iorveth would only force himself to work with him but never respect him as a person and be "besties". neither would roche tbh because iorveth is no saint and also killed his fair share of innocent people. they fucked up each others lives too much for their relationship to "work" and there's no place in their heart for forgiveness.

okay i won't bother you and your inbox anymore. this is pretty much everything i wanted to say so take care!

Under the cut cause my answer was rambly and I'm trying to save people's dashes lol

Yeah that's pretty much how I feel about the Scoiatael too! I do think Iorveth would eventually accept Roche's help maybe in a military venture if he really needed it and if Roche was genuinely offering, or that they could get past their issues with each other in order to work through a crisis. They do genuinly share a enemy in Nilfgaard, and Roche's inability to see that is his downfall. But then once the immedaute crisis is over... why would Iorveth stick around or even let Roche walk away cleanly?

I just think this is something that can only exist in fanfic, and can maybe be fun or interesting to think about/read about when expanding on the possibilities of their characters, but I personally wouldn't WANT it to be canon, because it would create inconsistencies in both their stories and established motives - which you did say in your last ask, I'm agreeing! (I mean I don't want true friendship/romance, not them being forced to work together. I want that. That would be fun. RIP Iorveth at the battle of Kaer Morhen :( you should have been there king!)

(about your other ask) Idk, I actually don't have any issue with people labeling Roche as a flat out monster. If you're coming at it as someone who's primarily sympathetic to the Elves, it's like you said, it really doesn't matter what his motives or situation was, he was participating in their violent oppression as a leader. He still has a lot of fans who won't acknowledge how evil his work pre-tw2 was, that's a greater problem to me (not talking about you ofc). And Iorveth...lmao other than him be willing to let those women die in the burning building, I can't help but cheer for his bloody methods of justice in ways the Blue Stripes will never get out of me. It's the witcher, everyone's burned a few churches, at least Iorveth was doing it for a good cause 😩

As for Roche, I personally I like him best as a metaphor for armed patriotism - perhaps more historical than modern, but I think both work. Men born into poverty who are coerced into the military by governments that don't value them at all (but like to give them medals as propaganda/empty motivation) while only using them as tool in their violence against other nations/people. Being devalued, abused, covered in blood, becoming a mass murderer all for some paltry veteran discounts and a lifetime of trauma. That's the character work I'd want to see with him, but for future witcher games, I'd be much happier to see Iorveth come back and regain his spotlight, so who really knows.

This is long as hell sorry, thanks for sharing your thoughts I appreciate the conversation!!

OH. right yes. Anais. What the hell we needed a followup on their relationship, that could have been so good and hopeful and constructive. Someday !!!!

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

alr here's my simple concept of redemme lore™ GRRRAAAAHHGGHH

disclaimer; im pretty sure i rewrote a lot of what red has to offer while maintaining the key concept that he's basically robbed of his former glory as he's now just the old, prone to error and glitches — concept of what canon red is now so like don't come at me if it's wrong or smth LMDIFHOAJDKS and this is definitely prone to change as this is just the first writing LOL

shortcuts in typing;

g.litchy red = red

current red aka brown haired red = canon red

p.o.k.e.p.a.s.t.a = pkpsta

~~~

ALRIGHT HERE WE GO

- red is supposed to be from the og game... like OG OG game, little to no color game, that's 1996 and mod creators confirmed he's 18+ above SO i do a littol math and assume we're now in the 2020s so hes 24~ give or take.

- in the canon pkpsta story he's stuck in his own game as he's definitely subjected to be toyed around for glitching fun and exploitations and so he finally had it — he's going to try to escape from his own copy and jump to another genuine copy ... maybe even getting the more recent games of GBA wouldn't hurt either.

- my mind is drawing on a blank on how he does manage to jump from his copy to another but let's just imagine he was able to do it for now — but anyways he ends up on the ruby/sapphire/emerald copy. let's go with emerald because im biased as fuck

- everything is much more colorful and less monochrome, but sad to say that his game sprite colors are still quite minimal and well... red, so he definitely looks out of place. (im filling plot holes SHHH) and he's still so glitchy, maybe even worse because he doesn't even belong there.

- so, he lives in this copy of pkm.n emerald now, but is kind of hidden away from most people. he just wants a place where he can't be played around with anymore so this is already fine for him.

- now the thing is, sometimes he leaves a few trails of red colored statics or well. glitches LOL like it's his form of "scent" or a "tell" that — oh it's this guy.

- some people noticed it, but it's not like they cared that much and assumed it was just some random wild plant p.oke.mon using an abnormal type of sweet scent attack

- that's where emme comes in — because she took more interest in that "scent" and wanted to figure out wtf is that thing and made sure it WASN'T her o.ddis.h, odie — using sweet scent 🤡... it doesn't even smell like ANYTHING it just go bbzsttt bzzt

- so eventually she does find out this guy wandering around, just not appearing too close to society. heck he's actually trying to familiarize himself with the newer generation of p.oke.mons that sprung forth

- red wasn't expecting anyone to find him so seeing her was such a surprise, especially that she's in so much color and up close — it does look really nice to look at, unlike his entirely red color scheme

- she was surprised too cuz wow, you are SO funky looking. everything about you is SO funky looking. i like you

- that's where she tries to befriend him and stuff, and while she has no understanding of where red really came from even if he tried to explain it thoroughly — she still thought he was cool so she still stuck by from time to time.

- at some point she tries to pull him back into the community, y'know like vibe with everyone?? why are you alone AHDHDHDHDHHSHDJ but it went well!! maybe a few weird faces darted towards him but because everyone knows emme's friendliness — they aren't TOO bothered by him. it's the "she's your friend so you're not a threat to me" mindset

- now the romantic aspect hOHOyJHOIHH COUGHING OKAY

- he loves her to bits because she's the one who really pulled him out of his misery and helped him feel like, the red he was supposed to be back then. he may not be the main character anymore because this isn't his game, but at least he has someone important to him, with him

- "they took everything from me — but at least I have you"

[lost-decade]

under your clothes and stuck in your hair

3K words of James/girl!Max, rated explicit.

James knows by the distinct little tap on his office door, that it’s Max on the other side. It’s always tentative, the rap of her knuckles, as if she’s never quite sure whether he’ll want to see her. He always does.

“Sorry to bother you,” she says when she steps inside, closing the door behind her. There’s a meekness to her sometimes, as if she hasn’t entirely realised just how fucking gone for her he is. Still, they have to stop doing this at work. It’s already enough of a recipe for disaster, one that could cost him his job if he’s not careful. And yet they always seem to find themselves back here.

“You’re never a bother.” Please be here to ask me something about work, he thinks. He can tell by the way she locks the door behind her that she isn’t.

She's changed since the race, into her favourite grey skinny jeans and a white t-shirt that clings to her nicely, accentuating her slim waist and small breasts. James looks up at her from behind his desk, taking a deep breath.

She’s had highlights put in her hair since the last time he saw her with it not tied up or hidden by her fireproofs. It suits her, the strands of blonde through her light brown hair, tumbling around her shoulders. James can see her nipples through the t-shirt and tries not to think about how easily they harden at his touch.

"I thought you were heading home." He says, lightly.

For a moment she falters, her face falling, as if she really thinks he doesn't want her here.

"I can leave, if you want."

"No. No, obviously not." He rubs a hand across his forehead, trying to smooth away the headache that’s been plaguing him for most of the day. He shouldn't be in here with her alone, with the door locked. At least the blinds are closed. For a moment he wonders if their silhouettes can still be seen from the other side of the glass. He wonders how close he is to losing his fucking mind. "But Max, we have to stop doing this here. It's not…if someone were to notice something."

"I know." She sits down in the armchair in the corner of his office. "I just wanted to see you without everyone else around. And I need to take my mind off the race.”

She had been running in the points when Ticktum had fed her into the wall; and the post-race interviews were as curt as James had ever seen her be about another driver.

The anxiety of the day, of having nothing to show from their home race, is weighing on James. If he can't bring the team the results he knows they're expecting from him, he at least wants to make Max happy. He wants to take her on a proper date, to sit in a restaurant opposite her and hold her hand across the table, buy her flowers, wake up with her the next morning. None of those things are a viable option.

“Noémie is waiting for me back at my apartment,” Max continues, glancing at her watch, “and then I need to change before the dinner.”

James curses inwardly. Another reason, among the many, why he has to stop this. He’d forgotten Max was bringing her girlfriend to the dinner. It’s bad enough thinking of her in the abstract but actually seeing Max with her feels like too much somehow. Noémie is beautiful and dotes on Max and keeps trying to sell James a yacht every time he meets her. His discomfort must show on his face because Max clasps her hands together and pointedly asks him if he’ll be bringing his own girlfriend along.

“She’s away working,” he replies. He genuinely considers asking her to lie to Noémie, to come home with him tonight instead, but he knows he’s just setting himself up for disappointment and honestly he’s had enough of that for one day. “You didn’t come here to talk about them though, did you?”

"No." Max lifts her right leg, hooking it over the arm of the chair dexterously and pushing her hand down beneath the waistband of her jeans. James’ breath hitches as he watches her, taking in the way she shifts her hips, biting her bottom lip. "I didn't."