#GRAVE NEW WORLD band

[savage-kult-of-gorthaur]

OSAKA HARDCORE -- THE PLAYFUL & MORE APOCALYPTIC VISUAL ASPECTS.

PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on a gig flyer for Osaka hardcore punk and D-beat bands THE RIOT, S.O.B. (SABOTAGE ORGANIZED BARBARIAN), and CROW, live at the Eggplant, live venue/rehearsal studio for hardcore, punk and noise bands in Osaka, Japan, c. 1985.

PIC #2: Spotlight on a gig flyer for Tokyo's GRAVE NEW WORLD, the experimental/psychedelic metallic-crust supergroup that rose from the '80s hardcore ashes of bands, ASBESTOS, CROW, LAST BOMB, and CRISIS KILL. Dates: 12-21-1992 & 1-18-'93.

Source: www.negativeinsight.com/niblog/2020/01/end-of-era-how-crows-lost-osaka.html.

[art--harridan]

[Image description: A digital drawing based on the film Shallow Grave. Alex Law is at the centre of the piece, face set in an anxious grin. His eyebrows are furrowed in worry. There's a drill hole in his forehead that's dripping blood, and also a knife in his left shoulder that is also bloody. He's stuck in a vast pile of dirt, which travels up to his waist. One of his hands is slightly submerged while the other is pulling a telephone out of the dirt. The latter one is near some drops of blood on the ground. Further down, there's a pile of money seemingly beneath the dirt. Further up and behind Alex, there's the silhouettes of two graves and a shovel leaning on the second one. The first is very bloody, while the other has less blood splattered on. The night sky is dark and starless, though there is a bright red moon in the sky. The colours for the piece are similarly red-toned.]

Inktober - Day 24 (Shallow)

Film - Shallow Grave (Danny Boyle, 1994)

[eightmakesonebraincell]

[fic rec mlist] ot8 x reader | multi x reader

main mlist | next (member-specific)

only general themes and tags are listed - please read through the author's specific tags and warnings

both sfw and nsfw fics are included. minors please dni with nsfw fics and respect the age restrictions put into place by the writers (suggestive, smut, and trigger warnings are highlighted in red)

🩶 favourites

into the aurora | @honeyhotteoks 🩶

pairing: ot8 x reader

genre: idol!ateez x non-idol!reader, fluff, angst, smut, trigger warnings

length: 35/35 chapters [completed] - 208.6k

you didn’t expect to run into choi san outside of the venue, especially when your phone was dead and you were stranded in a random city. a kind offer for a phone charger turns into so much more, and you end up falling into a relationship with all eight members of ateez.

murphy's law | @atzfilm

pairing: ot8 x reader

genre: alien!ateez, soulmate au, angst, fluff, smut, trigger warnings

length: 5/5 chapters [completed] - 98k

according to murphy’s law, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. black holes circle each other until they collide and merge, a cataclysm so fierce, sends ripples soaring through the fabric, crossing thousands of kilometers within a fraction of a second, leaving behind a wave on the space-time continuum. that’s the simplest way you can describe meeting him. and yet, even that is an understatement.

dewdrops at dawn | @sunmoonjune 🩶

pairing: ot8 x reader

genre: demon!au, fluff, angst, heavy suggestive content, trigger warnings

length: oneshot - 17.2k

you’ve never really believed in angels, or anything of the sort, but in a last ditch effort to escape a grave situation – you find yourself to praying for someone - anyone - to come help you.  “wow, you would not believe how fast angels are! I had to fight like six of them to answer your call!” 

oh my *** | @ohmyamor

pairing: ot8 x reader

genre: guardian angel!au, fluff, angst, comfort, near death experiences

length: oneshot - 10.2k

everyone supposedly has a guardian angel, one that’s tasked to always keep their human out of trouble and on the right path of life. but you don’t just have one, you have...eight?!

like the moon | @sunmoonjune 🩶🩶

pairing: ot8 x reader

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, heavy themes, trigger warnings

length: 17/? chapters [ongoing] - 160k

it’s finally the day of your trial. you’ve been waiting for this day for years. will you succeed and become a warrior your clan can finally be proud of? or will you fail, and be banished from the village forever? 

the rainbow thief | @bluehwale

pairing: ot8 x reader

genre: demigods!ateez, fluff, crack, angst

length: 2/3 chapters [indefinite hiatus] - 5.1k

camp half blood introduces you to a new life — new routines, a goddess as a mom, siblings you've only recently knew about, and of course, the eight friends (or lovers?) you made along the way.

first flight to hongkong | @byuntrash101

pairing: ot8 x reader

genre: flight attendant!reader, smut

length: oneshot - 18.3k

yes, you’re suprised when your company offers you a vacant spot in the vip crew. but “surprised” doesn’t cut it when you discover what kind of service your company provides the vips

front row angel au | @bobateastay

pairing: ot8 x reader, some parts ot8-focused

genre: emo rock band!ateez x fangirl!reader, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, smut, trigger warnings

length: 6/? parts [status unknown] - 17.9k

nil author synopsis

[new chapter added] misfits | @tainsan

pairing: ot8 x reader

genre: college!au, fluff, angst, smut

length: 13/? chapters [ongoing] - 113.3k

when your world comes crashing down, the only people who are able to comfort you are the notorious group, ateez. you’ve heard rumours after rumours about the eight males who are as cold as ice, yet for some reason, they are the warmest people you know. when they offer you a place to live after your housing is destroyed by a fire, you end up finding out dark secrets that have been hidden for years.

without a trace | @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l 🩶

pairing: ot8 x reader

genre: vigilante!au, action, angst, slight crack, heavy themes

length: 11/11 chapters + 10/10 podcast transcripts [completed] - 98.6k

vigilante work has been outlawed, thus sending nine prominent vigilantes either into retirement or into lower ground and, while some abide by the law, a few continue on. then, one day, a greater threat forces these vigilantes to come together once again, regardless of the law.

pirate king | @chaseatinydream 🩶

pairing: hongjoong x reader, wooyoung x reader

genre: pirate!au, fantasy, romance

length: 90/90 chapters [completed] - 251.8k

life as an amnesiac on board a pirate ship ruled by the one and only pirate king doesn’t seem very promising, but hey, anything’s better than becoming shark food.

this night together | @honeyhotteoks 🩶

pairing: yunho x mingi x reader, ft. seonghwa x san x wooyoung x reader

genre: a/b/o/omegaverse, fluff, angst, smut, trigger warnings

length: 14/? chapters [ongoing] - 126.5k

you’re finally getting your dream job, working with some of the best dancers in the business, but a job change means a break in your healthcare coverage and suppressants these days are expensive. going into heat at the studio pretty much seems like the worst case scenario, but you find yourself in the care of two alphas who won’t let you go through it alone.

not all that glitters is gold | @the7thcrow

pairing: seonghwa x san x wooyoung x reader

genre: action, adventure, fantasy, romance, angst, fluff, suggestive

length: 11/? chapters [ongoing] - 146.4k

as a princess fleeing a royal assassination attempt, you have no choice but to put your trust in a band of three thieves in order to reach the kingdom of kuroku alive. however, amongst magic, deceit, and the bounty hunters that are hot on your trail, you realize that you might have stumbled upon a relationship far more complicated than what meets the eye.

making wishes | @hwaightme

pairing: seonghwa x wooyoung x reader

genre: fluff, established relationship to poly, smut

length: oneshot - 7.0k

making wishes on shooting stars, on burning candles, you wanted one thing to come true. seonghwa and wooyoung are more than willing to celebrate the birthday girl.

outlaw miniseries | @hongism

pairing: yunho x jongho x reader (part iii), san x wooyoung x reader (part vi - coming soon)

genre: outlaw!ateez, dystopian futurism, lore, angst, fluff, smut

length: 3/6 standalone parts [ongoing] - 14.8k

(part iii) ‘two for the price of one!’ the sign outside the shop had read, and well, you’ve never been one to pass up on a good deal.

(part vi) author synopsis coming soon

we ransacked the city | @tenelkadjowrites

pairing: hongjoong x seonghwa x reader

genre: richsnobs!hongjoong and seonghwa, badgirl!reader, angst, smut

length: 5/5 chapters [completed] - 31.4k

five years ago, torn between losing your wealth or remaining friends with hongjoong and seonghwa, you chose money. working on leaving your life of bad behaviour behind you, your days are now spent obeying your parents and playing the good girl in order to keep your inheritance. but when hongjoong and seonghwa suddenly return, everything is thrown upside down…and old habits die hard.

letters to a ruined king | @setsugekka (nb: links to ao3 as fic is no longer available on tumblr. author permission to share received)

pairing: hongjoong x reader, seonghwa x reader, yunho x reader, san x reader

genre: pirate!au, royalty!au, fantasy, romance, action, angst, smut

length: 20/20 chapters [completed] - 150.8k

if there’s one thing you remember as a mantra from growing up in a street thief guild, it’s ‘trust no one but your own, don’t get wrapped up with the wrong crowd.’ unfortunately, these seven pirates and their irate captain have left you with little choice.

as the world caves in (to eden) | @atzfilm (nb: links to ao3 as fic is no longer available on tumblr. author permission to share received)

pairing: hongjoong x reader, san x reader, wooyoung x reader, ? x reader

genre: apocalypse!au, friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, trigger warnings

length: 11/? chapters [hiatus] - 55.2k

a mysterious virus has taken over the world, resulting in the undead and the new ‘eden race’ of humans. desperately trying to find your brother jongho with your friends, you stumble across another group in an abandoned hospital tent. strangely, they’re looking for him as well.

better than me? | @beahae

pairing: san x reader, ft. seonghwa x yunho x wooyoung x reader

genre: bf!san x reader x bf's best friends!seonghwa yunho wooyoung, smut

length: twoshot - 10.4k

it’s always been just a harmless game, flirting with your boyfriend, san’s, good friends. he’s even in on it. but one night, he starts pushing things further than ever before. 

last updated: 01 april 2024

[lakesparkles]

JULIE POWERS VS THE WORLD (swap AU)

More below (pls read if you want to know more about the plot)

Julie Powers could be more content with her own life. Shortly after graduating from art college, she realizes that getting a job in this field is harder than she anticipated: leaving her with no choice but to attend her boyfriend's boring band rehearsals, compare herself to her celebrity roommate, and feel like a complete failure. It all gets even worse when she starts dreaming about an old childhood friend she hasn't seen in many, many years, Gordon Goose—only to meet him again at a party a little while later. Neither of them seems completely surprised by the reunion, but they soon start talking. Unlike her, Gordon - now Gideon Graves, for some reason - has several interesting stories to tell, most of them involving his recently ex-girlfriend from New York who, not only is a millionaire, but also seems to have hurt Gideon a lot over the time the two were together. The closer Julie gets to Gideon, the less prepared she is for what's to come. She soon learns that if she wants a peaceful relationship with him, she'll have to fight his seven evil exes--in short, everyone he's dated while the two haven't kept in touch. This allows Julie to learn more about Gideon's past and realize that, maybe, just maybe… Gordon hadn't been completely honest about his relationship with Ramona Flowers.

Also this:

[thedevilssinner]

Elven soulmates - Astarion x Elf!Tav - Headcanon

I listened to one song and for some reason it screamed Astarion x Tav at me. This man is really ruining my life 😅

Anyway… the song was ‘IDK you yet’ and I just thought about the two of them being soulmates or something like that and then I found a thread on https://www.enworld.org about elven relationships and someone mentioned soulmates which got me searching and I found this page https://www.realmshelps.net/charbuild/races/elf/leaf.shtml where is mentioned that elves can find someone they call their thiramin which should mean soulmate in elvish language. 

Here’s the part from the https://www.realmshelps.net :

Upon reaching adulthood, elves continue their sexual explorations. Eventually, though, each discovers that his heart has developed a capacity for lasting and exclusive love. Like most other important things in their lives, elves describe this in mystical terms. They believe that a person's spiritual progress is unknowingly intertwined with that of another. This soulmate is called a thiramin. Upon meeting his thiramin, an elf's heart fills with passion and certainty. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the other party is felled by the same feeling of immediate and eternal devotion. (Though rare, an unrequited feeling of thiramin is always disastrous, bringing centuries of wrenching heartbreak. Sufferers often commit suicide or succumb to the temptations of evil.) Elves almost always feel thiramin for people they meet for the first time: In other words, visitors from other communities. Intermarriage between communities strengthens the bonds of communication between settlements, allowing them to quickly band together against the armies of evil that march across the land.

Now… You can imagine what that did to me, when I thought about the idea of Elf Tav knowing Astarion before he was turned into a vampire so… here’s some headcanons. Suffer with me.

Tav and Astarion met in Baldur's gate. Tav being new to the city. Young elf exploring the world outside their home.

Maybe they met in an art gallery or a tavern or some other place… that’s up to you, but when their eyes met, they immediately knew the other one was their thiramin. Heart beating wildly as they smile at each other.

They start dating, of course. Trying to get to know each other and spend as much time together as possible. 

I think that Tav would call Astarion their star… or maybe even ‘my starry night’

Astarion would call them ‘my moon’ (idk, I just love the idea of them using moon and stars as pet names)

Or… inspired by Game of Thrones - Astarion would call Tav ‘my sun and stars' while Tav would call him ‘the moon of my life’

Maybe they dated for a year or two, thinking about buying a house together.

But then Astarion was beaten ‘to death’ by the Gurs.

Tav could immediately tell that something was terribly wrong. The connection they felt with Astarion severing and sharp pain piercing through their heart. Panicked, they tried to find Astarion, going to his home but they already came too late.

Their blood turned into ice when they saw the mercenaries from the Flaming Fist already around his home. Seeing them carrying an awfully pale and beaten body of Astarion. (I don't remember if it was mentioned if Astarion lived in a Lower or Upper city before he was turned, so I chose a Lower city 🤷🏻‍♀️) (Also, not sure how and where exactly were he turned so I hope this is fine)

After a few days, Tav still couldn’t comprehend what truly happened. They felt just… empty. As if every color, every piece of happiness was ripped away from their soul. Not even able to visit Astarion’s grave because of that.

When Tav's family found out, they came to them, taking them to their homeland, because they knew how bad losing your soulmate could end for an elf. Tav fell into a deep grief and depression that lasted almost 100 years, doing some questionable things here and there until they started to function again.

On the other side - Astarion was beaten by Gurs but his final death came from Cazador, the change itself working just like if he truly died. His connection to Tav is severed and the shock of his change into a vampire erases all memory of them from his mind.

And then the 200 years of torture begin. Astarion doing anything he could and needed to do for survival. Flirting and luring victims to Cazador. He was good at it, great even, but something always felt wrong. 

Well, everything he did for Cazador was wrong, but touching another person, sleeping with them, and whispering words of love to them seemed wrong for another reason he couldn't understand. It was as if his subconscious was always trying to tell him something, but he couldn't say what.

There was just always something wrong with the victims. Wrong eye color, wrong tone of voice or even their pet names they sometimes used for him. 

Is he missing something? Someone? Longing for the embrace of a specific person that is unknown to him.

He always blamed his vampirism for this feeling. Thinking that’s just how it is. The feeling of wrongness and emptiness residing in him for the 200 years of his unlife.

Until the Mind Flayers and Nautiloid.

But back to Tav:

After a hundred years of grief, Tav finally started to get better. Diving into learning the profession/class they have chosen. Trying to enjoy life as much as they could, but the emptiness never fully disappeared. As if part of their soul was still gone.

They even tried to date, pressured by their family to at least try, but when their new partner tried to kiss them… they just couldn’t do it, dull pain spreading through their body and guilt flooding their mind. They immediately break up with the person and decide never to find a partner again.

But apart from that, they were relatively happy. Another 100 years slowly drifting away, the memories of Astarion remaining, if a little faded.

Until the Mind Flayers and Nautiloid.

Game plot:

Tav was walking with Shadowheart and Gale when they heard someone call for help.

Of course, they immediately headed for the voice, trying to help all the survivors of the crashed ship.

But when they finally came to the person they heard, the blood ran cold in their veins, the weapon they held falling from their grasp. It was like seeing him for the first time in their life but at the same time not… Astarion.

They notice that he looks different. His eyes are the wrong color and he’s so pale… but it’s him. They know it is because their soul sang when their eyes locked… but how? 

“Hurry, I’ve got one of those bran things…” Astarion's voice trailed off as he fixed his eyes on Tav and gasped as an unfamiliar sensation filled his body. It was as if everything finally clicked and his mind was flooded with memories he didn't know he had.

That's how far I've come with this idea. I'm not sure how it would have gone on, but I imagine it would have taken a while for Tav and Astarion to become partners again. Both mourning the years they could have spent together if it weren't for Cazador. Tav learning to love the new Astarion he has become, because he was different from the elf they knew before and Astarion learning to love again overall.

[solara-bean]

Death x Halloween Costume Red Riding Hood! Reader

( Reader is an artist/writer with extreme burnout )

( I really tried not to write this oneshot but goddammit he's got me intrigued 😫)

Halloween in Far Far Away was always a blast. Townsfolk filling the streets in their best tailored costumes, kids running about with candy and on the hunt for more. The weather was always the perfect temperature, too, with just enough chill in the air to wear heavily layered costumes without too much of a sweat. Which is why Y/n had adorned a long, beautiful, bright red hooded cloak over a simple, yet regal outfit. Unfortunately, their perfect look couldn't mask how shitty they felt.

For the past decade or so, they'd been one of the kingdom's most renowned creatives. Their works ranged from colorful illustrations, kids books, paintings, murals, YA novels and a few spicier adult novels that got much popularity to their embarrassment.

Needless to say they were a jack of many trades, and yet they've been able to create nothing for the past year and a half. Everyone had figured that the great artist was just taking a well needed break. Which was true for five months until they tried to make something and nothing happened. No spark. No idea. Nothing happened no matter what they tried or what medium they attempted to mold into something new and exciting.

It eventually lead to a depression that left them barley leaving the house, vowing not to do anything fun until they got an idea. Well until their entire friend group dragged them to this tavern's Halloween party in a costume that one of them conveniently had in their size. Yeah this was definitely a premeditated scheme to get their groove back. And as much as Y/n appreciated that they couldn't find the energy to leave the bar and join everyone else drunkenly dancing and singing on the dance floor.

Y/n sat in a big heap of silken red on the barstool looking down into their glass of Victorian Orphan Tears, a fruity drink made specifically for the holiday. They kept pondering on where their magic had gone. Had they used themselves up? Was this the end of their career? Would they have nothing else to show the world before they died?!

A few of their own tears were about to join the orphan's when they heard a soft whistle amongst the tavern band's melodies. Confused, they blearily glanced at their side to see a large, darkly hooded figure. They would've flinched if they had the energy to. No one had sat next to them all night due to the gloomy aura they'd been emitting. Yet here sat a mysterious stranger, who soon turned upon sensing their gaze, whistling halted. Y/n was met with the face of a white wolf. Wolves weren't uncommon in their society but something about those eyes jarred them. Those rich, blood red eyes. So bright that their costume couldn't dare be called red ever again. Y/n wasn't aware that they'd been locked in long moments of eye contact until the wolf leaned close enough that their noses almost touched. He made a soft but audible sniff.

" Mmm that smell..."

Y/n shivered at hearing the wolf's deep, gravely voice. It was all they could hear as if they weren't in a large room full of party-goers.

"...So sweet..."

"I..uh..what???" Y/n managed to mutter, slowly but surely pulling themselves back to the present reality, but the world aside from the wolf still remained blurry.

" Your drink."

They blinked. " Huh?"

" Your drink." He pointed at their glass. " It smells amazing. What is it?"

" Oh...Oh! My drink. Yeah uh this is Victorian Orphan Tears. It's a Halloween special drink."

" Hm, I'd better get one now before the night's over."

They nodded and looked back into their glass. Surely the wolf would would want to leave their gloomy presence and this was were the interaction would end. But no he stayed after his drink was served, enjoying three long sips.

" Mmm, that is as tasty as it smells. Glad I found an autumn drink without pumpkin spice in it. No offense if you're a pumpkin lover yourself, Little Red."

" Hm? Oh no offense at all. I've got nothing against the flavor but I can see how it can get overwhelming this time of year. There are other spooky flavors out there."

The wolf let out a light chuckle, pearly white fangs twinkling as bright as his fur.

" Yes exactly. I for one would love to see more cherries next halloween."

" Cherries?" Y/n snickered almost into a chuckle of their own, a rare reaction for them these days. " What's scary about cherries?"

The wolf grinned slyly.

" Well, there's nothing seemingly scary about them. So they usually get overlooked as a cute little fruit. But then you squeeze 'em just right into a glaze and they look just like blood. Even so you can't help but want to take a bite. Then you realize how good it is and can't get enough. By then your mouth's already stained red as if you did actually consume blood." he finishes, taking another sip of his drink.

" Wow, I guess cherries are a good fruit for Halloween." they say, taking sips from their drink as well.

" I'm surprised you hadn't considered it. You know with your costume and all. It's the perfect shade of cherry red just like the actual Little Red Riding Hood." he leans in a bit and whispers. " Though I'd steer clear of her tonight, I hear she's trying to copyright her likeness like Fairy Godmother did."

Y/n chokes a nearly spits out half their drink.

" Wait really?!" they panic looking around the room for a similar red hooded figure.

The wolf throws his head back in a guffaw.

" Oh man." he catches his breath. " I'm sorry. I just wanted to see how you'd react.

Y/n catches on and playfully punches his shoulder.

"You jerk, I thought I was in legal trouble for a second." they finally manage a full laugh.

" I know I know, but you seemed so down. Thought a good laugh might help. "

" Yeah. It did actually. Thanks."

They get caught once again into prolonged eye contact, now with something softer between them. The wolf is the first to break.

" Oh forgive me. I've been rude."

" What? No you haven't." they almost said ' you've been lovely ' but stopped themself in time before coming on too strong to a guy who was probably just making friendly small talk. They hadn't been looking their best lately and worried tonight wasn't an exception. Their friends' makeover only barely made their dark circles disappear.

" No but I have. I've been rambling on with you as if you're not here with someone."

Their brows shot up.

" U-uh. I'm not here with anyone. I mean! I am technically with my friends. So yeah in a way yeah." ' smooth real smooth Y/n.'

The wolf raised a brow, intrigued.

" I see. But you're not here with someone as a couples costume kinda thing?"

" No. Who would my partner come dressed as anyway?" they asked genuinely confused. ' What kind of pair would that be? Little Red & Granny? Cute and funny but not romantic partner material.'

The wolf stared intently, amused grin spreading.

" The Big Bad Wolf." he said in a low tone.

Y/n eyes widened with embarrassment. ' Oh God! I'm so stupid of course that would be it!!! ' Apparently self induced seclusion plus whatever magic charisma this guy had was enough to turn their mind to mush within a few minutes. Luckily the Tavern band's leader got everyone's attention on the mic.

" Hey hey how's everyone feeling tonight?!" a loud drunken applause came in response from the crowd. " Great cuz we're nearing the end of the night." a not so pleased ' aww' responded with one ' boo ' that Y/n hoped wasn't one of her friends. " Alright settle down, let's end the evening off with a slow but sensual number."

Soon enough the band filled the room with a tune that got the crowd coupling onto the dance floor. Some more sober than others but all having a good time. Y/n couldn't help the tinge of envy at seeing all of them so happy. But they were pleasantly surprised when they noticed the wolf extending a hand ( paw?? ) to them.

" I know it's a bit on the nose. But would you mind if I played the part of your wolf tonight?" he asked. His hood was off now, revealing cute slightly lowered ears that looked soft to the touch and ruby eyes filled a hint of vulnerability. How could Y/n say no to such an adorable face.

They smiled and took his hand. It was much colder than expected but still a little warm. His obsidian claws gently clutched the back of their hand, careful not to scratch.

" I wouldn't mind at all."

They joined the rest on the dance floor. His other hand pulled them in by their waist just enough to leave some space in-between them as they swayed to and fro. From the outside perspective they made quite the pair. Their cloaks flowed into a wonderful shade of red and black with every spin. Onlookers thought that the two were apart of a couples costume and hadn't just met. Y/n didn't notice any of them, even her friends who caught sight of them after not finding them at their stool. No Y/n didn't notice at all because they got lost in the wolf's red eyes again. Would any paint be vibrant enough to replicate its color?

" You know. You seem really familiar. Have we met before?" he asked, looking down at them while still taking the lead with ease.

" I would've remembered if we met before." those eyes were unforgettable, unless they were contacts, but his voice surely was real and no way in hell they'd forget it. " I've been in the newspaper a few times though." they said sheepishly.

" Wait...are you Y/n L/n?"

They nodded, kind of surprised that he guessed correctly that fast.

" Oh man I knew it! I love your work by the way. It's mesmerizing."

Y/n's pride and joy began to rise.

" Really?"

" Of course. You capture the radiance of life that most people overlook."

" Huh. I've never though of it that way. Thank you."

" No thanks needed. I'm merely speaking the truth. I'm glad that you're taking a break. You've done so much over the years."

Y/n's mood immediately dropped and they looked away, going back to the dark place they had been in not too long ago. The wolf caught on.

" Are you alright, Y/n?" he asked. They could clearly hear his concern. He deserved an honest explanation.

" I'm not taking a break," they admitted. " I'm stuck."

" Isn't that the same thing?"

" No. Breaks are by choice. This is different. I can't get out of this rut no matter how hard I try."

" Then don't try. Just don't make anything and let it come naturally."

" What? I can't do that."

" Why?"

They were starting to get really upset now. Why didn't he get it.

" Because I'd be letting everyone down." they met his gaze. Despite how much he seemed to not understand, his stare was serious and knowing.

" Wouldn't letting yourself down be more important?"

Y/n felt everything stop, realizations and questions coming in at once. It took them a while to notice that the music had stopped, everyone was getting ready to leave, yet the wolf held onto them until their thoughts settled.

" I think your friends are coming to get you." they followed his gaze behind them and sure enough, the gang was approaching. " If you're not busy later tonight. Come meet me by the woods. There's something I want to show you."

He kissed the top of their hand before letting them go and departing swiftly from the tavern like a shadow.

Y/n's group wanted all the details on the mystery wolf but were a bit too tipsy and tired to keep up. Y/n wanted to get everyone home safely, but the responsible parent friend of the group took charge. They heard the wolf's proposition and sent Y/n on their way to finally getting some action. But not before a stern talk about strangers, and safety and giving them a pocket dagger. Honestly Y/n could ask for better friends.

As promised. The wolf was waiting by the woods, cloak flowing in the wind. He smiled when saw them. He offered them a hand and they took it once again.

" I have a confession to make." he said as the two strolled through the forest.

" Yeah?" they couldn't help but stare at how the moonlight perfectly illuminated his fur. It was as if he was made for the night.

" I wasn't smelling your drink..."

Y/n stared at him confused and thought for a minute. It hit them once they saw the mischevious look in his eyes. Heat began to rise to their face. He chuckled at their dumbfounded look.

" The words slipped out before I could stop them so I tried to cover myself. To my luck the drink was sweet too."

" I can't believe you'd sniff a total stranger." they palmed their face with their free hand that had been chilled by the night air.

" Well technically I didn't have to try. My nose is pretty strong. Though I will admit there was some conscious effort. People with scents of life like yours due tend to catch my attention."

" Scents of life?" they asked as the wolf took the lead in front to guide them through a narrow path of trees.

" Yes. It's a bit complex but I'd describe it as a mix of sunflowers, lilies and tulips but," he glanced back at them," yours has an extra hint of vanilla, very soft and sweet."

The heat that had started to fade came back with full force to Y/n's face. They weren't wearing anything that smelled like that. There's no way they'd have a natural scent like it either.

" That's nice but I doubt I smell like that."

The wolf let go of their hand to jump down a sizable dip in the path.

" Trust me you do." he held out his arms to them. Although unsure at first if he could support their weight, they soon jumped down. Once caught, the wolf held them close to his chest, gaze deep and grin wide. " You possess the sweetness of life that I adore dearly."

There was no doubting his truthfulness with the look in his eyes and softness of his voice. Y/n was content enough in the moment that they wished it lasted longer but he put them down and lead the way again.

" Unfortunately it's starting to fade away. Which is why I've brought you here."

Before they could ask they saw the answer in front of them. They were on a small cliff and beyond it was the expanse of the forest with a valley in the center. Y/n was already entranced by the breathtaking view before they noticed light begin to peek over the horizon.

" Ah we're just in time." said the wolf at their side, leaning against a tree arms folded.

The sun slowly rose, chasing away the dark. The valley began to wake with a new life, colors coming forth as flowers bloomed. With the sun came warmth as well, getting rid of the chill that Y/n had gotten use to. They weren't sure how long they stood there, but birds started to sing as the night turned to morning. It was all so beautiful that they wanted to find the words, write the words and maybe even paint them, but as usual nothing came.

" You see Y/n. I think I know what's got you stuck," the wolf began, Y/n had almost forgot he was there. " You began creating things for the enjoyment of yourself. Those creations then became joy for others. But as time went by, you started to only create to make others happy. To fit their expectations. You used up more of yourself than most people do in their lifetimes. Am I making sense for far."

They nodded, still unable speak.

" It's a frustrating dilemma. Frightening even. But take the sun for example," he gestured to the light that was now brighter than before," It's a creator too. It's light gives way for all sorts of life to prosper. Yet at times it can be too much for some to handle. Or perhaps a few clouds get in the way and it's light can't shine through. And in moments like this, it creates little things that most wouldn't know to appreciate. Even so, the sun doesn't care. It travels across the sky shining endlessly."

He walks up to them, places a hand on their face and wipes away tears they hadn't noticed were falling.

" You need to create for yourself. Whether you feel its good enough or not I'm sure people will love it. And if not, you'll have more than enough love for it. Just go easy on yourself and take your time."

" But...what if I'm running out of time?" their voice came out quiet and shaky.

The wolf continued to hold their face. He held a gaze so caring that they wanted to melt into him.

" Don't worry. You're not going anywhere any time soon."

While Y/n almost took that assurance as normal, wanting to remain in the bliss of the moment, something was different about it. In fact everything felt different about him. Wait who the hell was he anyway?!

" Who are you?"

His smile dropped into a frown, as if he wanted to stay in the bliss of the moment as well. But this was reality and they deserved the truth.

" I'm Death."

There was a long moment of silence, both remained still. As if reading their mind he continued.

" Yes seriously. And no I'm not messing with you this time."

Y/n managed to find their composure.

" Wow uh...nice to meet you."

" Hah, you're taking this well."

" Not sure how else I'm supposed to take it. Might freak out later though."

He laughed again. His hands had traveled down to theirs without them knowing. They didn't mind. They found comfort in them despite now knowing why they were so cold for someone with fur.

" That's very kind of you. It's always nice having some be calm around me. Though I'm sure you know that I mean you no harm."

" Yeah," they smiled up at him, " You've helped me a lot actually. I think my spark's returning."

" Good," he let them go, going back a few steps, " Then my work here is done."

" Wait!" they grab his hands. " You're leaving?"

Death's shock of their suddenness then turned to a saddened look.

" Yes. I've already interfered more than I should. It would be best if I go now. I'm sorry. I was really having a lot of fun with you."

" Then stay a little longer." they pulled him in closer. " Please?"

" I..." he hesitated, pondering over something he knew he shouldn't. " I'll always be around so I could come visit when I can."

Y/n beamed with joy.

" That would be great. I look forward to it." though they couldn't help but push further. " But are you sure you can't stay a little longer right now?"

Death thought on it. He knew he should say no. He'd already been taking too long of a break. But their eyes were pleading to him and their hands were so warm. The souls of the dead weren't going anywhere he supposed, but it'd be a lot of overtime.

" I guess, but on one condition."

" Anything."

He regained his signature sly grin and leaned in closer.

" I want to be the first one to see what you create next."

They gave him a warm smile in return.

" I'd love to. I think I'm writing mood right now."

" Oh?," Death's ears perked up and his tail wagged a bit. " I hope it's another novel then."

" Huh, I didn't peg you for the YA type."

" Yes I like those too but I was thinking of your other ones."

" What other o-" then it hit them. " No..."

Death grinned, fangs and all.

" Yes."

" No. Oh no! You read those?!" they put their flaming face in their palms, silently cursing their friends for convincing them to publish those spicy books. " Oh god I could die right now."

Death laughed and pulled them into his chest, giving comforting pats on the back.

" Sorry that won't be happening anytime soon. And I'm having too much fun with you anyway."

That morning Y/n went from someone who feared Death to someone who welcomed him. They learned surprising things about him as well. Like how his fur was so soft, he liked to be scratched behind the ears and he tasted oddly of cherries.

[allwaswell16]

All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in April 2024. You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 including the fics on this month’s fic roundup [ @1dmonthlyficroundup ] which you can find here! Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

Fanfictional Podcast #61 |  ko-fi | fic recs

- Louis/Harry -

🌼 When the Lights Go Out by thelarenttrap / @antidotetogo

(E, 79k, F1 au) In its near eighty years of existence, Formula 1 has never had an out gay driver. In 2017, Harry Styles signs a contract with Scuderia AlphaTauri alongside his childhood friend and competitor, Louis Tomlinson. The next decade of their careers is some of the most tumultuous press--on and off the track--Formula 1 has ever seen.

🌼 Colorful Hearts by Larrysmomfics / @larrysmomfics

(M, 20k, humor) In a world where orgasmic emissions change color depending on the person’s mood, Louis Tomlinson’s semen has only ever been blue. At the recommendation of his doctor he attends a support group for people with similar conditions. 

🌼 In a swirl of flashing lights by @lunaticcat009

(M, 15k, friends to lovers) Harry taps on Louis' window with a sad smile and they sneak into a closed carnival. A starry night of them running around the abandoned premises with their fingers intertwined ensues.

🌼 Fuck You For Ruining New York City For Me by galactic_larry / @galacticlarry

(T, 11k, exes) Louis broke up with him in their New York apartment, so Harry left the city for good. Except now he’s back, visiting with his new boyfriend.

🌼 defying stars by localopa / @voulezloux

(T, 9k, high school) the marching band au only one person (and that was me) asked for.

🌼 Half a World Away by @silverstuff50

(E, 9k, omegaverse) Bothy: A bothy is a basic shelter, usually left unlocked and available for anyone to use free of charge. Bothies are found in remote mountainous areas of Scotland, Northern England, Ulster and Wales. 

🌼 Where All Roads Lead by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings

(NR, 7k, neighbors) Harry's Christmas takes an unexpected turn when he discovers a misplaced holiday card in his letterbox. He never thought that braving the snow to return the card to its sender would be so worth his while.

🌼 Does it Ever Drive You Crazy? (Just How Fast the Night Changes) by xx_soup_xx

(G, 7k, strangers to lovers) Baker Harry Styles takes it upon himself to get his mysterious grumpy customer, Louis Tomlinson, to like Christmas by taking him on a disastrous first date.

🌼 Girl Crush by Hopeless_blue

(T, 7k, strangers to lovers) He used to be so close to fulfilling his dreams when he participated in X-Factor. But that was four years ago, and now, on a rainy day, he wanders the streets looking for a pub where he could sing sometimes. Charming bartender Louis is ready to give him a shot...

🌼 Why Don’t We Start Writing The Story Of Us by red_panda28 / @red-pandaaa

(T, 6k, omegaverse) Alpha Louis and Omega Harry get off on the wrong foot, Louis has the worst timing, and Harry believes in second chances. Three times Louis asks Harry on a date and the one time Harry accepts

🌼 I Might Say Yes by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28

(E, 6k, established relationship) the one where Harry buys a wedding dress on a whim. And his very doting boyfriend, Louis, is more than happy to indulge him

🌼 now i'm tracin' all my steps to you by @alwaysxlarrie

(T, 5k, 5 times fic) Of all the things Harry was prepared for this summer, Louis Tomlinson and his wonderful, wonderful scent isn't one of them. It probably shouldn't be as shocking as it is that it makes Harry want to nest.

🌼 Crimson Clover by babyhoneyhslt / @babyhoneyheslt

(T, 5k, soulmates) Harry and Louis are soulmates, but one is already promised to another. When their plan to flee is discovered and they are separated, Harry falls gravely ill.

🌼 I’ll tell you something (I hope you’ll understand) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

(E, 2k, girl direction) Louis insists that Harry stay off her phone and in the safety of Louis' room rather than risk moping in her own texting her ex-boyfriend. When Harry agrees on one condition, Louis' safe night in could become something else entirely.

🌼 All The Way Home I'll Be Warm by @justanothershadeofblue

(T, 2k, friends to lovers) Harry & Louis jokingly send out holiday cards together as friends, and now everyone is congratulating them for finally getting together. A 5+1 fic, for Christmas.

🌼 beech tree in autumn by @juliusschmidt

(E, 1k, summer romance) Louis walks forward. Harry walks back. And back. And back. Off the two track, through the brush, until his heel bangs against the trunk of a tree.

🌼 hey stupid, i love you by @enchantedlandcoffee

(T, 1k, omegaverse) The one where self-proclaimed Valentine's Day hater, Louis, surprises his boyfriend on their first Valentine's together.

🌼 skinny dip (in water under the bridge) by hazzahtomlinson / @itsnotreal

(G, 880 words, exes) It’s a Wednesday and nostalgia might just get the best of Louis.

- Rare Pairs -

🌼 Finally, You and I (Collide) by @lululawrence

(NR, 14k, Zayn/Louis) the five times Louis was accidentally wooed by cookies and the one time he was purposefully wooed by brownies.

🌼 I Saw Several Angels in the Self Help Section by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(G, 3k, ot5) Zayn and Louis are soulmates. They're also missing some soulmates. For extra flavour, it's Christmas.

[fr3akho3]

Stuck in a sticky situation

Kinktober day 1: Tied up

Warnings: Tied up, use of nickname ‘Drac’ ‘Draculara’ ‘Princess’, Boyfriend! Peter Parker, Established relationship, Fem! Upset! Reader, slight angst, fluff at the end, after care, slut calling, praise, SoftDom! Peter Parker, Tied webbed to bed

2.5K words

You were having a hard enough day already, everything was off schedule and you were stressed, you were already 14 minuets late to your boyfriend, Peter Parker's, house, your phone had died, and you were not in the mood for mid-day New York traffic.

After 20 more wonderful minutes of Queens traffic you arrive to his apartment, buzzing him then heading up.

As soon as Peter opens the door to you, you collapse in to his warm arms, a comforting smell of cinnamon that he knew you liked so much filling your nostrils.

"You miss me, Drac?" He laughs out, stroking gently on the back of your head. You only let out a quick nod, not caring to step out of the doorway. "You tired, bad day?" You nod softly, a tear trickling down your cheek, the familiar lump in your throat bobbing back up. "Let's go to my room, Draculara, yeah?"

You both lay on Peter's bed, not saying anything, just holding one another peacefully, softly kissing every once in a while.

"You want anything to eat? I can't cook or bake but I own an air fryer? I'm sure I can make something you'd like in there?" Peter says; gently sitting up and placing your head comfortably on his thighs, stroking your soft hair, feeling fuzzy against his callous finger tips.

"Oh my god, dude, you know what would be so good right now? Fuckin' crinkle cut fries, they’re so good, you should make us some," You say smiling happily. "Please, Peter?" You beg happily, to your boyfriend's dismay he gets up and heads to his kitchen but not without turning around and lifting you out of his bed, he places an arm around you, walking you and himself to the kitchen, he pulls out a chair for you and goes to his freezer, getting the fries out as you pull your phone out.

"Drac? Who you texting?" He says; a tinge of jealousy pangs in his voice along with curiosity, as he goes on his toes to try and see.

"No one, i'm putting music on, Pete." You say, smiling as you hear the jealousy in his voice, knowing you would and could never see another person in the same way you love, or even like, him.

"What song, you thinking, bug?" He smiles at you, his smile lines were your favorite.

"Mm Pretty girls make graves, Love songs on the radio, or Luna?" You ask him looking up from your phone.

"I have no idea what songs those are, so you pick." He says, ogling over you just sitting there.

"Luna's a Smashing Pumpkin songs, and Pretty girls make graves is The Smiths, and then Love songs on the radio's Mojave 3" You state like it was the most common thing on the world.

"I'm sorry, Mojave 3?" He says checking on the fries, making sure they're cooking fine and not burning.

"Yeah, good band, promise."

"Put Love songs on the radio, whatever you pick'll sound good" You put on love songs on the radio, the soft melody filling yours and his eardrums as you stare at each other, content with the love you have for one another.

The fries finish and you sit peacefully with each other, the fries sat and watching from an oval bowl, you've both found your way to Peter's bed, eating and watching Hocus-Pocus on his laptop.

"He's cute," you say not thinking about it about Max from Hocus Pocus

"No he's not, he's probably ugly and old now." Peter says getting defensive which gets you smiling

"Peter, I think your beautiful."

"You do, Drac? You promise?" He says looking away, he's aware it's corny and sappy but he doesn't ignore his feelings.

"Yeah...I do, promise." You say softly, kiss between his forehead and hairline.

Peter kisses your lips softly, devouring your saliva like it was The Body of Christ, worshipping your every movement.

Those few kisses lead to you straddling his lap, he kisses your forehead as you go for his neck and collarbone, leaving small bites and hickeys all over.

"You know...May's working a 10 hour shift...we have a lot of time...only if you wanna..." He stuttered through every word, it wouldn't be your first time together intimately and certainly not last, but Peter was always respectful and careful to avoiding breaking boundaries and such.

"Mm a lot of time to do what?" You said intoxicatingly, the way your voice sounded induced him further, the apples of his cheeks growing red.

"You know...get together..." He said shyly; his pale face turning a light pink

"Oh yeah?" You say teasingly, not wanting to let the moment end.

"Yeah..." He says getting red. "Can we try something...new...together?" He suggests rather sheepishly

"Like what?" Yoh look at him with those beautiful eyes he loves so much

"Well it's October, Halloween season, and I have webs..."

"Whatcha suggesting, Pete?" You say brushing your hands through out parts of his hair

"Wanna tie you up...web you to the bed..." he says hiding his face in the crook of your neck

"What? Can't hear you?" You tease him further.

"Wanna tie you up and let me fuck you," he says louder, still hiding his face in your neck, leaving soft kisses.

"Do it then, pussy." You laugh softly out; teasing the poor boy to his wits end.

"Oh yeah? You gonna be a good girl and let me?"

"Please" You say looking into his eyes

"Want me to tie you up and fuck you? Yeah? Oh yeah?" He whispers; hesitating to go on

"Fuck, yeah, Pete. I need you" you breathe out, staring at him from on top of his lap.

He slides his shirt off, taking your shirt off of you as well, leaving you in only a bra. He lifts you off his lap and puts you sat back on his bed, elbows propped up beneath you. He soon slides down your pants revealing underwear.

"You look perfect, you know that? Gonna take such good care of you" He says grabbing the Vaseline from his bedside table, rubbing it softly on your wrists.

He gets up and grabs his web shooters you whimper as both your hands are webbed to his bed frame

He's careful to pull your bra above your soft and tender boobs carefully. He takes his callus hands spreading one knee to the side then soon the other, he smiles up at you at your slick spreads with your folds.

He massages around your nipples as you whimper, he brushes your cheek with his other hand, inserting his finger inside, stretching you with your slick

"That feel good ,baby, tell me when you want me, okay?"

"O-okay! I want you now, please! I need you, Parker" you beg, vulnerably.

"I'm gonna put it in, alright?" He says softly; pushing your hair out of your face as you nod rapidly.

He's hardened dick slowly teases your entrance, making sure to go slow not wanting to harm you. He's cold hands grabbing onto your hips, his palms cupping your ass and back of your thighs, while his thumb strokes the inside of your thighs, holding them apart.

His tip enters, he pulls in and out a few times trying to feel you out; leaving you whimpering for more.

He's soft to make sure he isn't hurting you; wanting your pleasure as much as his.

He goes all the way in, earning a grown from both of you. His moan was long and relieving.

“Parker, please, start moving.” You beg, your legs crossed around his hips, your hands gripping at the webbing.

“Be patient, Draculara, s’gonna take good care of you, yeah? You gonna be my good girl?” He teases, slowly moving his hips in and out. “Look at You? My pretty girl, all spread for me, all naked, tied up. Fuck I need you”

He pulls all the way out and slams back in, letting out a lewd moan, you whimper as your knees clamp against his waist.

“Fuck! Parker! Please, go harder, please baby?” You squirm and he lightly pinches at your nipple, caressing the other between his hand

“No, keep ‘em open for me, princess, or I swear I’ll stop.” He goes all the way out, leaving his tip in as he slams his hips in and out. “Yeah? You good princess- ah- fuck- you see how hard I am for you? Fuck- y-you see how my cock fucks you?” His hands Go to your waist, moving you up and down on his cock as he goes in and out.

“Fuck! Parker! Please, I’m begging you! Fuck me harder! Please Parker! Fuck- I need you- I want everyone to know I’m yours and I need you so badly, please, baby?” You beg, trying to move your hands; he lets out a chuckle watching you suffer as one finger goes to your clit and the other on your waist.

“I know, Princess, your doing so good for me, yeah? Just keep going for me, your gonna feel so much pleasure, s’yeah?” He goes faster, the lewd sounds of his moans filling the room, as you bite at your cheek, concealing the sounds of your loud moans.

“You feel so good in me- babe- babe! Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop, please! I- I- I- need you, please baby” you beg your knees clenching together, Peter looks down at you as he stops.

“What’d I say Princess? Spread ‘em Draculara. Maybe I’ll eat you out later if your good, okay? C’mon Princess be a good girl for me and spread ‘em legs?” He’s careful to not mess up your hair as he strokes your cheek

“I-I’m sorry, please, Peter, keep going?” You smile at him as he begins rubbing your clit, ghosting on top of it.

“I’m gonna start going, yeah?” He’s quick to put his cock back in, going slow at first, before putting it all in you, he quickly pulls out leaving just the tip before slamming all of him back in, not giving you time to adjust before fucking you faster then ever, while rubbing your clit with his callus fingers.

“You want it? Mm- yeah princess? You’ll have it. All of it, fuck- all of me. Oh- oh- fuck- mm” deep inhales leave his body, you hear his heavy breathing, his hand leaving your waist and going to your stomach, pressing down to see how far he is, making you go crazy

“Fuck, I love all of you in me, you’re so good to be, Parker, wanna see you cum, wanna see you cum in me, please- Fuck! I- I- I can take it, all of you. I promise.” You whimper out, your back arching forward as your squirm and yell out sinful moans.

“Mm- fuck- Drac- your driving me fuckin crazy- I’m so close- I’m so close- oh- oh- oh! Yeah! Fuck! I love you- princess fuck! Oh yeah? You really love me? Yeah? You gonna let me fuck you? Oh princess…oh fuck, oh what did I do to- ah- deserve this pretty pussy! Mm- please!” He goes faster, you can see this thigh muscles flexing , his cock twitching inside you with every movement.

“Oh- oh- oh! Please! F-fuck! Fuck me! Parker, please, I’m so in love with you, I’m so so in love with you. I need you! I need more of you! I need more of you in me!” You beg as you grind for any friction left.

“Drac- f-fuck! Your tiddies s’beautiful. Wanna suck on ‘em, can I? Please, oh- oh! Please baby let me suck on ‘em while I fuck you and hear your pretty m-moans?” He leans down and takes your boob in his mouth, swirling the warmth of his tongue on your erect nipple.

“Parker! Wanna cum with you! Please let me cum with you! P-please, oh! Oh! F-fuck, oh…oh…you’re so good to me, baby!” You whimper out grasping the webs as your hips lift off the bed.

“Princess- oh Drac! O-oh! Fuck- s’you…you slut…you are just so desperate for me, aren’t ya? You love this cock hard and deep in you? Look at you, didn’t even b-bother! F-fuck-to take your bra off fully, what kind of slut- oh- fuck! Can’t even wait to take her bra off!” He slams deeper within you, hitting the spongey spot that makes you feel so good, he goes up from your chest and leaves hickeys on your collar and moans into your mouth.

He slams his hips, bruising his bones at your entrance. He knows he’s close and he’s hoping you are too. He needs you to cum around his hard and veiny cock.

“F-fuck, my beautiful, smart girl, I’m so in- l-love with you babe! Fuck, can I cum in your pretty pussy, Drac? Pretty please, babe?” He begs with his brown doe eyes.

You don’t stop him, your mouth left agape from everything, his hands on your clit, one on your waist, his mouth against your neck. Soon the feeling of him warm, gooey, seamen fills you and he fucks it into you, it all becomes to much, his screams and yours fill the room.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Don’t stop! Fuck me! Please! I’m cumming! I’m cumming! I’m cumming! Please, Parker! I love you!” You screams, your out of breathe and sweaty as his pace slows down, he kisses your cheek before slowly pulling out, being careful at his tip.

“S’You did so good for me, yeah? So good my princess. Was I Good for you?” He asks, kissing you and getting up, graving a warm wash cloth and wiping his cum out of you, careful to not hurt your tender cunt.

“Thank you, baby. You did so good, I love you.” He kisses you again. He gets an anti-web fluid and sprays it on your wrist, kissing them as he gets your wrists out.

“Wanna shower then cuddle? I wanna get you cleaned up, Drac” he says, rubbing Vaseline over the places where the webs had left purple and red. “S’My pretty pretty girl.”

“Yeah, shower then cuddle sounds good, thank you baby.” He sure you up and kisses your nipples then you, carrying you bridal to the bathroom, where you two were sure to have more fun.

Authors note: how we feeling about my first kinktober?

Tag-list:

@thedevax @tpaints @parkersmjs @eefeefeefeef12345 @whenisthefall @andr3wgarfieldsupremacist @blossoming-cee @d3adp00ls @aliengirl99 @just-levyy @nixxaswrld @mentallysickphysicallythicc @isretroavibe @olivezgalore @jakobsdump @crypticbutterfly5 @practicallylivesonline @did-someone-change-my-name @80pairsofcrocs

Comment to be added (will be posting tomorrows teaser shortly)

[retroghouls-if]

THE STORY

Music has always been a part of you.

You could hold a bow (violin/viola/cello) before you could hold a pencil. Unfortunately, life has catapulted you into a downward spiral. Your college band disintegrates. A close friendship goes up in flames. You’re doing nothing with your life. Death and a personal betrayal have left you bereft. You have never felt more worthless. Everything culminates on the night of your sister’s wedding when you drunkenly form a Faustian contract with the entity that haunts your apartment.

For better and for worse, you are now destined for greatness.

The devil has but one thing to ask in return: absolute domination. You are to conquer anything and everything through the power of good ol’ fashioned rock n’ roll. And you’re not alone. Armed with friends (new and old), a new band, and quite literal hellspawn to help, you are going to conquer the world.

Not because it’s what you want, but because failure is not an option.

Not for any of you.

CONTENT WARNINGS

Retroghouls is intended for mature 18+ audiences for dark topics including abuse, violence, explicit language and sexual content, and more.

FEATURES

Customize your MC from their physical appearance, personality, sexuality to their musical background (violin, viola, or cello), familial relationships, and more.

Choose your band’s concept and determine its overarching message. Is your group activist, a sex symbol, or a harbinger of destruction? Will you tell your fans that they’re not alone? Will you challenge them to persevere no matter what? Or will you encourage them to burn it all down?

Manage your newfound inspiration and the cornucopia of side effects that come with it.

Protect the anonymity of you and your bandmates.

Outwit a demon or two – if you play your cards right.

Romance a cast of troubled individuals.

Make objectively terrible decisions! Ruin lives! Or don’t. You will face the consequences of your actions either way.

ROMANTIC INTERESTS

Camille ‘Ilim’ Vaughan [she/her or he/him] is the drummer of your new group. Having been involved in the music industry for over a decade, they are a person who invokes a myriad of opinions. Both beloved and reviled, Ilim themselves operate in extremes. They make no effort to hide their agenda. So the question follows – what part will you play in the reckoning? [MORE]

Tuesday ‘Needle’ Nelson [he/him or she/her] is the bass of your band’s guitar trio. So, whether it is during concerts, midnight comp sessions, or just casual riffing at hq, they are always close by. Music has always been their one true love and so they’re determined to pour their blood, sweat, and tears into this project. Tuesday has very little else otherwise. [MORE]

Micky Monroe [she/her or he/him] You two took orchestra together in high school and haven’t given a passing thought towards one another since your graduation performance. Now, courtesy your prodigious manager, Micky & Archangels are the feature on your upcoming album. Once the album is done, you’ll surely fade from one another’s lives just like before. Both of you agree, it’ll be just like before. [MORE]

Jack/Jackie Graves [he/him or she/her] is the heart of your PR team, coordinating with managers, publicists, and social media specialists to ensure no unnecessary information about the band leaks. Your privacy is their bread and butter. Your security pays their bills. Don’t mistake their friendliness. Don’t mistake their kindness. It’s just common business to look out for one’s best interests.

[tiyoin]

prima donna

it wasn’t much, but it was home.

there wasn’t a day that went by that you weren’t free, weren’t flying, weren’t dancing twirling and swirling on the dance floor.

wasn’t a night where you wouldn’t have your crips voice flood the bar. where people wouldn’t drop their tasks to watch in awe as your songs took flight, soaring through the skies as you bring them along your adventure

you ignored the creaky floor boards, the loose nails, and the odd stench. you helped fix up the moth chewed curtains, stayed later to clean up the seating areas and came in earlier to clean the bar and stock inventory.

yet those hours seemed to get lost in translation as your weekly cash flow never increased.

yes it was sleazy, but in a sinful establishment as this it’s to be expected.

albeit a less than stellar start to your career, vil had insisted that it was wise to have a ‘humble beginning’. you argued that being a forever orphan in a entirely new world was a good enough start, but you both knew it was less than wise to reveal such a thing.

information is power in showbiz after all.

so here you were, currently employed as an entertainer in the ‘soul of the hare; bar and lounge’. it was lounge known for their entertainment, especially for its signature themes. every quarter the owner would send a poll to their customers- no, their vip customers- only. they give them 4 options for this quarters theme. each and every time the theme would get picked, a new one would take its place in the next poll. and if a theme didn't get picked for 3 polls in a row, then it was 'executed.'

but no matter what theme they'd dress you up in, it was always accompanied by a pair of fishnets and an undersized costume. it was no doubt less than savory for your taste. the sexy clothes were a little too flimsy, the corsets were a little to tight, and the leather boots sometimes a little too tight to the point it'd give you blisters and leave your legs a blue-ish color you know they're supposed to be.

but the entertainment part of the job... some got luckier than others. like you.

all you had to do was dress up in your little (literal) costumes, put on your cheap makeup- until the stylists had a fit and demanded they use their higher end makeup- and sing your little heart out for the patrons.

the songs they would make you sing were according to the theme. if it was underwater themed they would make you into some kind of siren. if it was medieval themed with dragons and knights, they would make you into some kind of 'princcess.' yet you knew that if past princesses saw you... costume- if you could hardly call it that- they'd be rolling in their graves.

and the choreography- whenever they'd show you what you'd have to do it made your nose itch. and when they would make you practice said choreo... it made you want to crawl out of your skin as you imagined the mirror to be the audience. stopping their sleay business talks to gawk and leer at you.

it didn't matter the theme you part took in, or choero you were forced to preform every time you were on stage. but every time you would re-enter the living world and slip out of your own fantasy- gleaming, beady eyes would always be staring right back at you.

like canine eyes at ngiht you could see each glasses- head's reflective gaze through their clear speeks. no matter how long someones bangs were you'd still catch the light in their eye. it didn't even matter if you had a mask on, you could still feel their eyes tracking your every movement, every flinch and muscle spasm.

eyes were everywhere.

but…

this was your chance. you can put up with a few unpaid hours, a few patrons eyeing you and the silly props they made you preform with. the costumes weren't... too bad. one you got out of your comfort zone you were able ignore the pinching fabrics, and hey! the leather booty shorts for pirate quarter weren't that short if you pulled them down enough. and look! they even gave you a little top hat head band for the circus quarter! how cute!!

and a whip too… but that's besides the point

despite the religious sounding name, the soul of the hare is a mature club where lots of people do private business. where the illegal scoundrels would meet to make soul binding deals, or to simply come out for a drink and enjoy the scene. you're were able to recognize a few politicians, businessmen, and celebrities... and a few influencers who were promptly escorted out when they didnt listen to the 'no phone rule'

it’s a… speakeasy, of sorts; a speakeasy for the rich, famous, and important people are able to fuck around and find it without any consequences... hence the open dance floor below the creakily old stage.

it’s the greatest kept secret in modern high society.

and yet...it was heaven for its customers and hell for its employees.

you couldn’t remember a time when you got a full eight hours of sleep and didn’t have some kind of discoloration on you.

whenever you guys were getting to open for the night, the stage owner would always gather you up for a little pep talk of sorts. and yet he would always say the exacts same thing:

'to break the heart of a hare you will need to jack hammer it. you will need to beat it down until it can no longer fight, til it can no longer even flinch. to the point where the muscles are fully torn and the bones are grown to dust. it's you choice whether you're the jack hammer, or the hare.'

...each time she said it you cringed every time. it's stupid. thought of last minute and not as motivational as they think it is.

but regardless of how hard the work got, no matter how hard the girls sucked at being girls girls: this was your chance

this was the break the future legends of tomorrow- you got. nothing comes easy in life. you knew that first hand. from teleporting to a strange world, being in an all boys school for 4 years, and dealing with... him. you could do anything.

no matter how much you got ground into the ground- you'd allow it.

you'd allow the backhanded comments about your weight, about you background- you'd allow it. you'd allow them to use and abuse you in order to turn out perfect. you'd give them access to your soul, to your gifts.

vil had told you it was the ultimate sacrifice. that monetary distresses were temporary and if you were able to suffer unimaginable hardships and up your work ethic to the test: you would be rewarded with the will of steel. with a new found hunger; a blossoming passion blooming through out your very being as you're pushed and shoved and chipped away into the perfect gem.

this was the place where diamond in the roughs go to get shaped and polished into gemstones.

you weren’t sure if you regretted it or not. truly.

you have reached unimaginable heights here. you’ve found your niche, you’ve improved more than you ever your wildest daydreams deemed possible; more than your old teacher would even allow you to dream of.

when you danced you were not longer awkward and self conscious. your body moved as one the way a river would run through a forest. twisting and turning yet never stopping, never ceasing its flow no matter how big the rocks were, how shallow the bank was, especially if the water got thinner up ahead. when you danced you felt loose like water. free as a flowing stream.

every time you finished dancing you had nameless shadows snapping at your performances like the pretentious characters they were playing.

more than once you were offered a pay raise to entertain. to connect - with the customers. it was even highly encouraged by your managers for you to connect because of your popularity.

you'd always decline.

your fellow performers lunged and clawed for those chances, bled and practiced til their knees dislocated for those chances. they were willing to do anything for the opportunity to connect and make a lasting impression with the rich and powerful.

you didn’t need to. you had vil. you had one of your closest friend since college in your corner. watching your every move and guiding your every step. you didn’t need to do that side of the job since you already had vil’s support.

he'd make sure you were eating well, got the moves correct, and sung with the voice of a prodigy- nailing every high note and bridge that the others couldn't reach.

of course your peers were jealous. sure, they envied you having vil in your corner- but it's because you were given training they didn't have. you were trapped under the wing of a world star professional. and all they had were business men and second-tier wanna-be's.

but you also kept your soul.

... you wouldn’t forgive yourself if you succumbed to the industry and joined the other clawing prisoners and sign your life away.

if you didn't have your soul, then who were you?

you didn’t want to hand over your soul to some slime-ball producer. so, you locked it away in a box and carried it wherever you went while vil protected it's key.

for now.

it was a cautious trade. a hesitant sign as you made a legally binding contract with vil schoenheit. of course he supported you! but he wanted to have at least a little bit of compensation for his…investments. you can’t blame him can you?

after all, your improvement and growth is being sponsored by his kindness... and the fact that it would keep him up at night knowing your talents were going to waste. oh and money of course. lots and lots of money. he always made sure to remind you of that.

every time he took you outfit shopping he wouldn't even look at the price tags, every time you would find yourself laying in bed too sore to practice he'd give you a call asking how you were.

he'd especially call you when he had a sneaking suspicion that you were drowning yourself in a hidden bottle of vodka a entertainer snuck in for you last night. he made sure to drill into you the unspeakable number of dollars he would spend on you. barking at you and your carelessness while you were too hung over from your previous nights activities with said bottle of liquor.

you were glad he hadn't outright called you a burden. if he said then you decided you would kill yourself that very night.

you felt bad for how much you made vil stress and worry, truly! but improvement came with a price. talent can only get you so far until you’re evenly matched with everyone else. its either you're getting worse or they’re getting better. every day you fight for your place in the studio. fight for your place on both the big, old stage and the tiny platforms they'd allowed the exceptional dancers to dance on.

every night there’s another muffled sniffle in the dormitories coming from a different bunk each night. you were older, the fresh age of 21, there is no way you should be crying- no reason for someone so grown to be acting like such a child.

but a person can only take so much of the same rigorous routine for so long. can only push their limits for so long.

you couldn’t disappoint vil.

you couldn’t disappoint yourself.

you couldnt allow yourself to join the desperate party that agreed to sell their very essence for a lick of fame- refused yourself to not stoop to that desperate level in order to get ahead.

you had no choice but to believe in vil's words: that a persistent, hard work ethic and talent would be enough to make your dreams a reality. that all those hours of torture weren't for nothing.

but he failed to tell you about the in between of dreams and reality. forgot to mention reality actually.

you fought.

you cried.

you bled.

you were bruised. abused. for hours

your vocal chords were tested to their limits.

each practiced step of the routine on the wobbly stage ignited a new muscle group each day.

your spine screamed in agony each night when you gently, weakly laid yourself in bed. consciousness blinking out like a blown candle before you were awakened by the shrilling alarm mere hours later. only to repeat the same process again.

you can do it.

you can do it.

you have to do it

you have- must do it.

you can’t disappoint vil.

you can’t disappoint vil.

you can’t disappoint yourself..

each day got a little harder. each day you got a little quieter, struggling to keep up with your friends conversations. sometimes preferring to stay silent through out their conversations.

you no longer had any spare energy to waste talking; you used permanent vocal rest as a quick excuse when your friends asked you about your sudden silence.

… a performers pride is easily broken, so they were offended enough to give you the side eye whenever you would pass. how they would all scoff and roll their eyes at you.

it was okay, it was better this way. you didn't have anyone to distract you so it's time to bring on your A game. and yet... you were alone more than ever

blinking away the thoughts, you reassociated within the crowd of performers became to clap thunderously loud.

tonight was a birthday after all, and you were tasked with giving him his present- whoever he may be.

so fire up the lights and startup the music, because the 'soul of the hare' was now open for business.

[alexlwrites]

From my notes app: grieving over your ex lover

Tw: sad as fuck

Based on this request from @morningglory18 : "Hey I just want to request you a fic where the fl had a dead first love , whom she always chases after but it is always Namjoon who catches her when he realised she is really gonna fly away"

***

It was April 29th again.

How long had it been since the last one? A couple weeks? 365 days? A lifetime? You weren't sure, but the earth had once more completed a circle without you even assimilating the last one.

Your body still ached from phantom pains - a non-existent weight in your left ring finger, the impact of a car crash you never lived, shards of a still broken heart and loss, dear lord, so much loss. How could someone even lose something that they already no longer have?

But every April 29th reopened a wound barely stitched together and you felt the burden of another year lost, a multitude of days that could've been lived as someone's wife but instead barely could be called a widow - after all, there was no wedding. There was only a white dress, a pair of rings and a call from the hospital that sent you into a spiral of unfortunate events and ripped your soul from your body.

Every April 29th brought a slew of what-ifs and if-onlys that buried you under the avalanche of painful possibilities. If that driver had never been drinking, if he had left earlier, if the wedding had been scheduled to the next saturday... Every minimal detail added to insurmountable strands - different paths and roads that could've been taken in a different life.

In a different life, you could've been Yoongi's wife.

In a different life, you could've kissed him on an altar and went on to start a new chapter written together. You could've watched him put together your shared furniture, made him coffee and kissed his pink tinted knucles. In a different world, you could've built a family together, slanted eyed babied and fluffy brown dogs, maybe even a black cat. In another universe, you would've watched someone's first steps guided by his long fingers wrapped around a tiny chubby wrist. In a separate world...

"Love" someone called snapping you out of your morbid fantasies and you turned to see Namjoon offering his hand.

You took it and stood up from the ground, interlacing your fingers with his and bringing them to your lips as you walked away from the forget-me-not adorned grave, silent and contemplative. In another life, things could've been different, but in this one you were given catastrophic grief by fate and its antidote by the same hand. The same prophecy that had taken away Yoongi from your sobbing grip had gifted you Namjoon.

Namjoon who also lost his best friend and had been the first one to reach for you as crumbled to the floor in a white gown; who had been forever patient and understanding, a buoy in the storm as disgrace had rained from the skies ; who stood back to back with you as you leaned on each other to stand up once more ; Namjoon who bought the forget-me-nots and took you where you needed every April 29th.

"I miss him" you said.

Namjoon nodded "Me too. Everyday."

Namjoon helped you into the car and drove away softly, his hand never leaving yours, tethering you to this lifetime where you were now his, six years after being someone else's.

***

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[alltheweirdkidsinoneplace]

Eddie Munson + potential Iron Maiden references

because I'm hyperfixiating and desperate. Also apparently not everyone was raised on 80s metal, so this might be new to some people and gatekeeping is lame. None of this is confirmed obviously and I'm probably reaching but here we go

let's start with the most obvious one: This is Iron Maiden's mascot. His name is Eddie. He's been on every single album cover, most single covers, merch, posters... He looks a little different every time, but he's always undead.

This is the cover artwork for the 1982 album The Number of the Beast. It features A huge version of Eddie, controlling the strings of a red, devil-like creature, which in turn holds the strings of a tiny version of Eddie. The Devil (Vecna, there I said it) is not shown to be aware of Big Eddie controlling him. It's all very double agent, The Spy parallel. Also if you take just the frame of Big Eddie's hand and the devil, it looks A LOT like Eddie Munson's puppetmaster tattoo. With a little fantasy and even more reaching there's also some vaguely mindflayery shape in the background of the image.

(probably irrelevant but still fun fact: This album was released on March 22nd 1982 - EXACTLY four years before Eddie Munson became the main suspect in Chrissy's death)

This one speaks for itself. We've all seen the Eddie prequel book that's gonna come out later this year with literally the same title as this 1983 song.

Interestingly, Eddie has batwings here, aka KAS THEORY CONFIRMED?

This one, holy shit. This is the artwork for the 1986 (!) album Somewhere in Time, and if the year and title weren't enough, there is so much more.

1. Again starting with the most obvious: There is a graffito on the wall to the very right that literally says EDDIE LIVES.

2. Under the graffito we see a hand reaching up from the ground (grave?). The version of Eddie that we get here is a cyborg, and the hand on the ground looks very cyborg-esque as well. The band members are seen a little towards the left as normal humans, so it's not like everyone's just a cyborg in this world. Ergo the hand belongs to a second Eddie, which is very in line with the whole "there is another timeline with shadow selves"-theory.

3. The red clouds in the background are very vecna-y.

4. The little winged figure from the Flight of Icarus cover is seen left of the big tower in the middle.

5. The neon sign of the movie theatre to the very bottom left contains the words "Live After Death" (illegible here, but it's there!)

6. The lyrics on this album! In particular Wasted Years, featuring the lines "But now it seems I'm just a stranger to myself

And all the things I sometimes do, it isn't me but someone else"

- again, very much in line with shadow selves. And even more Stranger in a Strange Land:

"Was many years ago that I left home and came this way

I was a young man full of hopes and dreams

But now it seems to me that all is lost and nothing gained

Sometimes things ain't what they seem

No brave new world, no brave new world

No brave new world, no brave new world

Night and day I scan horizon, sea and sky

My spirit wanders endlessly

Until the day will dawn and friends from home discover why

Hear me calling, rescue me

Set me free, set me free

Lost in this place and leave no trace

Stranger in a strange land

Land of ice and snow

Trapped inside this prison

Lost and far from home

[...]

They found his body lying where it fell on that day

Preserved in time for all to see

No brave new world, no brave new world

Lost in this place, and leave no trace

What became of the man that started

All are gone and their souls departed

Left me here in this place so all alone"

Does that sound like someone left for dead in the Upside Down or is that just me?

7. idk a fuckload more in the cover probablay because it's wild.

Bonus Metallica fact: Master of Puppets was released on March 3rd 1986. Eeven if he bought the album the day it was released (he would) that would have given him under three weeks to rehearse it so much that he could give the most metal concert ever on March 27th.

Anyway that's just from the top of my head; I might add on to it if/when I think of more. PLEASE spam me with your theories I beg you.

Side note: Contrary to popular belief, if you got into metal because of Eddie: That's awesome! Welcome! Again, gatekeeping sucks; we've all had our minds blown by a Metallica song for the first time at some point, so let's be nice to the newcomers.

[ladykailitha]

All My Roads Lead Back to You Part 1

Hello, my beautiful readers! I should be working on “If I Rescue You, Will You Rescue Me, Too?” and that was the intent yesterday I swear. But I wanted to sit down and flesh out the first part of my “Eddie and Steve reconnect after years apart because their kids are in a rock band together AU”. Only I went from 680 words to 6020 words over the course of the day.

So um...yeah. I’m still working on “Rescue” but since I have so much of this ready, you’re going to get this for the next couple of days.

Just a couple of things, you can find the original idea for this on my Master List, but I don’t recommend reading it before this, because it makes the story a little less fun. The other thing is that in case it wasn’t clear enough the first part are all newspaper headlines.

Enjoy!

***

Corroded Coffin Signs Three Record Deal with Relapse Records: American Tour to Start Soon

-July 15th, 1986

Business Moguls Clint and Rebecca Harrington Announce the Engagement of Their Only Son Steven to Socialite Addison Reed

-June 1st, 1987

Corroded Coffin to Launch First World Tour After Huge Success of Their First Album Underdark in December

-Sept. 23rd, 1987

Steven Harrington’s Nuptials to Addison Reed to Take Place in New York on Jan. 1st 1988

-Sept. 24th, 1987

Steven and Addison Harrington Announce the Upcoming Birth of Their First Child

-Feb. 23rd, 1988

Has Corroded Coffin Frontman Eddie Munson Found Love in London? Metal Star Eddie Munson Seen About Town with British Actor Jay Sanchez

-March 29th, 1988

Steven Harrington, Son of Business Mogul, Clint Harrington to Start Tech Company with Genius High Schooler, Dustin Henderson; Says Focus Will Be On Audio Devices

-May 9th, 1988

Tragedy Strikes in Austria! The Tour Bus Carrying the band Corroded Coffin Rolled Over Late Friday Night. Most of the Band Only Sustained Minor Injuries, but Bassist, Brian Martin was Thrown From the Bus and it Rolled on Top of Him, Killing Him Instantly

-Sept 11th, 1988

Funeral For Corroded Coffin Bassist, Brian Martin Was Held Yesterday in Their Hometown of Hawkins, IN. Frontman Eddie Munson Was Surrounded By Friends and Family

Picture: Eddie at grave site, clinging to boyfriend, Jay Sanchez. Wayne stands on his other side. The other two Corroded Coffin members stand behind them. The entire Party is there. Jonathan and Argyle, too. All but Steve.

-Sept 17th, 1988

Steven and Addison Harrington Announce the Birth of Their Daughter, Edith Barbara Harrington

-Sept 23rd, 1988

Eddie Munson and Partner Jay Sanchez Announce They Will Have a Child Together Through Surrogacy: Right Wing Groups Up in Arms!

- Nov 8th, 1988

S&D, the Tech Company Launched by Steven Harrington and Dustin Henderson Last Year Has Hit a Snag. Henderson Says the Technology is There, Investors Not Convinced

-March 19th, 1989

Steven Harrington and Wife Addison Battle It Out in Court, The Former Socialite Claims All Their Money Should Be Split Evenly, Including the Trust Fund Steve Received From Grandparents Upon Their Marriage; Judge Disagrees

-May 30th, 1989

Eddie Munson Back in the Studio. Producing This Time. Former Lead Singer and Frontman for Corroded Coffin is Back at It Producing What is Being Heralded as Metal’s Next Great Album...

-June 13th, 1989

Divorce Final! Steven Harrington and Addison Reed Split! Harrington Gets it All, Including Custody of Nine Month Old Daughter, Edith

-June 30th, 1989

Eddie Munson and Partner Jay Sanchez Announce Birth of their Son, Born Though Surrogacy; Mother and Son’s Name Has Been Withheld for Privacy Reasons

-July 14th, 1989

Tech Company S&D Reached Record Profits This Year; CEO Steve Harrington’s Ex Wife Back in Court for Bigger Cut of the Pie

-Sept. 7th, 1992

Eddie Munson, Beast of the Metal Scene Back in the Studio Again as Metal Bands Clamor to Have His Name on Their Record

-Jan. 19th, 1994

S&D CEO Comes Out as HOH (Hard of Hearing) and Bisexual in the Same Press Conference, Signing and Speaking His Speech

-Aug. 13th, 1995

Jay Sanchez, British Actor and Partner to Eddie Munson, Famed Metal Producer Has Passed Away Over the Weekend Due to Cancer. Family Asks the Public to Respect Their Wishes and Allow Them Their Privacy as They Grieve

-Oct 25th, 1999

Funeral For British Actor, Jay Sanchez Held in His Native Hampshire. Fans Flock to Mourn His Loss

-Oct 31st, 1999

Audio Tech Giant S&D Announced a Line of Headphones That Can Block Out Most Noises

Nov. 22nd, 2003

Grammy Award Winning Producer, Eddie Munson to Retire Amid Rumors of Troubled Son in Legal Woes

-March 27th, 2006

*

Steve was a man of few regrets in his life. He had a job he enjoyed, a daughter he loved more than life, and close friends he could count on. One of his biggest regrets, though? Losing track of Eddie after Corroded Coffin’s bassist Brian Martin died in a tour bus rollover in Europe on their first world tour.  

He knew that Robin and Dustin and probably some of the rest of the Party still kept in contact with Eddie, but after Steve was forced to miss Brian’s funeral...he wasn’t sure Eddie wanted him to contact him. So despite Dustin’s greatest efforts their lives remained separate.

“Hey, Dad!” Edith called from the kitchen.

Steve sighed into the bedroom mirror. He patted his hair down to hide the hearing aid. “Coming!”

He trotted out, grabbing his keys and wallet as he did so. His daughter was sitting at the counter happily munching on her cereal. Steve grinned when he saw her. She looked nothing like her mother, a fact Addison loathed. Edith had brown eyes and light brown hair with freckles, just like Steve.

“We finally have a new guitarist,” she said happily when she saw him. “But because we can’t have it at Lauren’s anymore...”

Steve sighed. “You want to use my garage as your studio?”

Edith grinned. “Pleaseee...”

Steve closed his eyes and opened them slowly to see her giving him the biggest pair of puppy dog eyes.

“All right,” he said. She started squealing and jumping for joy. “Only one day a week and if I have a migraine...”

She sighed, “We’ll keep it down.”

Steve ruffled her hair.

“Ugh...” she moaned. “It’s a good thing I don’t spend hours on my hair like you otherwise, I’d be really upset.”

Steve laughed. “Uncle Dusty keeps telling me it’s a miracle it hasn’t all fallen out yet.”

Edith smiled softly at him, before reaching up and gently tucking a lock of hair behind his left ear. “You’re the face of S&D, Dad. It’s not a crime to show off the goods.”

He ducked his head and blushed. “I know I wouldn’t be where I am without it but it chafes, you know.”

“You’re the father a seventeen year old girl,” Edith said with a wink, “I think you’re allowed to have a hearing aid.”

Steve sighed, too. “It just makes me feel older than I am.”

Edith shrugged. “You’re already old, so what’s a few more years difference?”

Steve raised his eyebrow and she squealed as he lunged for her. He kept up swimming and had taken up running. Edith on the other hand? She loathed sports. She claimed on more than one occasion that if anyone saw her running, they best start running too, because there was something chasing her.

A joke that didn’t go well with her dad or any of his friends for some reason she wasn’t privy to.

So she was an easy catch and he tickled her.

“No!” Edith huffed. “I’m too old for tickles!”

Steve stopped and cocked his head at her. “I still tickle Aunt Robin so...invalid argument.” And went back to tickling her.

Once she was gasping for breath, Steve let her up. “Now, Miss Thing, it’s time to get you to school.”

“Ugh...” she said, going to grab her backpack. “I hate school. Why can’t I just drop out?”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Because last time I checked, I didn’t raise a quitter. And you only have a couple months left of this year and all of next.”

“I hate being a September baby,” she huffed dramatically. “I’m older than most of my class.”

He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. “You can blame your mom for that one.”

Edith smiled gratefully up at her dad. “It’s nice to have a scapegoat for all one’s ills in life.”

Steve laughed. “Thank god, for Addison Reed.”

*

Edith had to admit that there were certain parts of school that she enjoyed. She loved history and art. She didn’t know if she got that from her mom, as she had seen her mother all of three times in her memory. The first nine months of her life didn’t count.

Addison Reed had showed up when she was three when S&D had finally made it big and wanted more money from Dad. Again when she turned eight and Addison had taken her out for ice cream to try and charm Edith into giving up information on Dad so she could wheedle even more money out of him. The final time and the time that upset Dad the most was when Addison turned up when Edith was twelve to try and convince her to move in with her, so she could live off the child support.

That was when Dad got a restraining order against her, and moved them to Indiana from California. Edith missed the warm sunny days and the beaches, but she knew why Dad had done it. If moving back to Indiana was the only thing that would keep the leech away, Edith would have suggested it herself.

The other parts of school she liked were her friends. Mandy Lawrence and Kenny Grant. They had been a quartet, but Lauren decided she was too cool for them at the beginning of the year and stopped talking to them.

It was whatever.

She had art today which was a blessing because math was a killer and it always made her depressed. There was another reason she liked art class. Because that’s where she met this boy.

No, no not like that. Edith Barbara Harrington was a lesbian thank you very much. No, for all the kid’s fluffy brown hair, dimples and doe-eyes, she was interested in his ability to absolutely shred on guitar. His dad was some famous producer or some shit.

She walked up to him and fist bumped him. “H-man!”

“Miss Thing!” he greeted back. “Talked to my dad, but he said no go. He’s got too many valuable instruments he doesn’t want us touching.”

Edith grinned. “Well you’re in luck because my dad said yes.”

“Hell yeah!”

“So after school, k?” she said and he nodded. “I’ll text you the address.”

“Awesome!”

Their teacher called out for them to sit down and they did so with a grumble.

Edith couldn’t wait for after school.

***

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Epilogue

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[emmeline-jade]

I'm Ridding The World Of Evil And Creating A Utopia. No Matter How Much Time I Have, It Won't Be Enough

I am jade and i am 14.

I am a radfem, and here are my favourite movies, shows, musician/bands, watch list. I am marking animes with (a)

okay movies!!! -:

valerie and her week of wonders, angels egg, belladonna of sadness(a), gone girl, girl interrupted, every single studio ghibli movie except grave of fireflies, little women 1994, gangubai, daisies (czech new wave)

shows-:

alice in borderland, monster (a), death note (a), haikyuu (a), kuroko no basuke (a), queens gambit, kakegurui (a), hunter x hunter (a), saiki k (a), girl from nowhere, promised neverland (a)

watch list:- rose of versailles (a), the last unicorn, forest of piano (a), perfect blue(a), angel sanctuary (a), wonder egg priority (a), please save my earth (a), black butler(a), the woman in the window.

musicians-:

lana del rey, mitski, the smiths, radiohead, autumns gray solace

[ohtobeleah]

#PL1 with Hangman. From the Angst list possibly after an accident of some sort? 19 - “Please don’t leave.”

Warnings: Car accident! Jake Seresin x F!reader. Death of reader insert. Sad boi hour.

Haunted // Jake Seresin

“He still up there?” Rooster asked as he got out of the Bronco, removing his aviators as he strolled over to where Phoenix had been perched up against her own car. She’d called Rooster not too long ago, worried about Jake.

“Yeah–” Phoenix replied solemnly, never once taking her eyes off where Jake sat by your grave. “He just sits there, all day. Doesn't say anything, doesn't cry, doesn't sleep or eat or–” Before Phoenix could finish her sentence, Bradley interrupted, giving her the answer to all her questions in two simple but heavy words. 

“He's grieving–” Bradley and Phoenix stood by the cars they parked in the curbside spots of the carpark at the bottom of the Lakeview memorial cemetery. From the carpark they could see Jake clear as day, sitting by the fresh tombstone that had just been put in after a few months on backorder. Jake needed it to be perfect, he spared no expense in making sure it was exactly the way you would have wanted it. Not that you ever really specified what you wanted in a tombstone, but Jake knew. He knew you wouldn't have wanted anything extravagant or in your face. He knew you wouldn't want some sappy quote that wasn't what best reflected you while you were living. No.

Jake knew you would want something simple and elegant. So that's what you got. As he sat by your grave picking at the blade of grass that looked too long, absentmindedly twirling his wedding band around on his left ring finger, Jake thought about how it should have been him. It should have been him driving that night, not you. But it was you and Jake didn't understand why it had to be you. He didn't understand why he had to live the rest of his life with you not by his side. 

“He needs help, Rooster–more than we can give him.” Phoenix sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest, she'd been on Hangman watch for the better half of the day. “I really think he needs to talk to someone, a grief counselor or someone.” Deep down Bradley agreed, but he knew talking to a counselor was the last thing he wanted to do when his mother died. 

“He passed his psych eval before returning to work.” Rooster replied as he watched Jake stand from his spot next to your grave, picking up the wilted flowers he’d replaced with new ones as he did so. “He lost his wife Nix, you don't just bounce back from that.” Rooster placed his hand into the front pockets of his jeans, shrugging as he did so with a prolonged exhale. “I don't think you bounce back from that ever, you just learn to exist.” Bradley paused for a moment, he wasn't sure if he should say what he wanted to next. “Pretty sure that's what my mum did.” 

Jake was exhausted. Emotionally, physically, hell even spiritually. He was burnt out and running on empty. As he looked down at your name carved into the stone, Y/n Seresin, he swore he heard your laugh in the wind that blew around him. His mother would say it was but Jake didn't believe any God could be so cruel to take you away from him. He needed you, why the fuck did they take you away from him. 

“Happy Birthday beautiful, I gotta go, but I'll uh–I'll be back soon.” Jake sighed as he tapped the top of your tombstone with his knuckles, something he always did whenever he came to see you and always did just as he was leaving. “I love you.” He missed hearing a response to that, he’d give anything just to hear he was loved by you one final time. 

“He’s coming.” Phoenix pushed off her car. “You wanna take him or should I?” She asked as she turned to Rooster, taking her eyes off Jake for two seconds. But that was enough time for his grief to overcome his exhausted body. With each step Jake took away from you he grew weaker and weaker. Jake fell to his knees as he lost view of the world around him, Rooster didn't say a single word as he pushed off Phoenix’s car and booked it over to his best friend. 

“Hey man, you good?” Rooster cried out as he jogged up the small incline towards where Jake kneeled on the ground, noticing how Jake had never looked more broken. “Fuck” Bradley sighed to himself as he made his way over. Knowing that the events of the day Jake lost you would be playing through his mind on a loop ever since you left so unexpectedly. 

Six months earlier ~ The Hard Deck, October 31st. 

“Okay Mr Salt—“ You beamed as you rubbed your husbands back gently in small circular motions. “Let’s get you home yeah?” You had been celebrating at the Hard Deck, Halloween was and always had been one of your favorite times of the year. September 1st always brought about the decorations you meticulously decorated the house in each and every year. September 1st to October 31st saw the Seresin household dressed to the nines with fall themed decorations and filled with pumpkins spiced scented candles. Did Jake like halloween as much as you did? No–but he went along with it every year just to see you smile. He loved you too much to stop you from fishing out the old, nearly decrepit decoration box that had ‘Seasonal House Attire’ scribbled on one of the flaps out from the attic. 

He did make it a note to remind you how much of a dork you were though. But to Jake Seresin, calling his wife a huge Dork was just another loving term of endearment. 

“Yeah—“ Jake grinned through a small hiccup. “Yeah let’s get me home, lead the way Mrs Pepper.” You and Jake had gone dressed as Salt & Pepper shakers to the annual Hard Deck costume party. “I'll drive.” 

“Oh, no!” You chucked as Jake slung his arm around your shoulders. “You are in no condition to drive–” The original plan had been one or two drinks each, you'd have a big meal, water between drinks and you'd both be able to scissors paper rock to see who ended up driving home. But as the night progressed—Jake had fallen down the rabbit hole of drink for drink and shot for shot with none other than Bradley Bradshaw. “I’ll drive, here—give me the keys.”

Without so much as a second of hesitation, Jake handed you the keys after he’d fished them out from his back pocket. In Jake’s mind that moment plays out in slow motion, a decision that sealed your very fate. When Jake altered the course of what should have been his untimely demise by drinking a little more than he should have, he unknowingly unleashed death’s fatal trajectory on you, his loving and beautiful wife. 

When Jake thought back to this moment? He swears he dangles his keys above your open and awaiting hand for at least five agonising seconds. Then, the very moment that confirmed your destiny strikes.

Jake dropped the set of car keys into your palm. 

“Thank you.” You cooed, reaching up to place a quick peck against your husband’s cheek. “Looks like you get to be the passenger problem once again.” 

“Ah, I prefer passenger princess, thank you—“ Jake snickered as you walked over towards the front doors of the Hard Deck. “Good night everyone!” Jake turned momentarily. “We’re heading off—“

“Seeya guys!” Fanboy replied first as he waved in his Larry the Lobster costume. 

“Oh but the night is still so young?” Rooster sighed as he realised he was losing his drinking buddy. “Y/n, come on just one more round?” Bradley didn’t know it at the time but this would be the last time he ever saw you alive. None of the Daggers, Jake's friends, his found family and colleagues knew it. None of them knew that your doomsday clock had run out. 

“We’ve got a flight booked for Texas tomorrow, gotta be up early, Rooster.” You explained although he already knew. “We gotta get going.” 

“Alright alright—“ Rooster groaned childishly, understanding that he’d just have to go with the flow. “Go on, get outta here.” 

“I’ll text the group just before we take off!” Jake added as he walked with you outside into the chill of the fall night. Not knowing that in just a few short minutes his entire life would be turned upside down. 

***~***~***~***~***~

“Okay okay but what if it’s not you?” Jake sighed and his fingers intertwined with yours over the centre console. “Like it could very well be me?” 

“Uh, with your genetics my dear I find that incredibly hard to believe.” You and Jake had been trying to start a family for a while now. Nothing seemed to be working, all the tracking, all the phases, all the old wives tail tricks and tips you’d both been abiding by god's law. None of it seemed to be working. “When we get back from your mum's place we should probably see a fertility specialist, just to be sure we’re doing everything we can.” 

“Yeah—Alright.” Jake turned to look at you as he smiled softly and brought the palm of your hand up to his lips. “You’re always full of good ideas aren’t you.” 

“Maybe we should have gone as brains and brawn instead of salt and pepper?” You chuckled softly as you turned your attention back to the road, you’d only briefly turned your head away from the road ahead for a few seconds to look at Jake. 

“Babe!” Jake gasped as he let go of your hand, allowing you to grip the steering wheel with both hands. “Deer! Fuck!” Jake shouted as you over-corrected to miss the deer that had run across the road in the dead of night—it must have been spooked by your headlights. 

“Jake!” You screamed as you spun out, you tried to fix your mistake by slamming your foot on the break but if anything that just made the situation worse. “Oh my god oh my god!!” You could hear the sound of your tires screeching before the car left the opposite side of the road you were meant to be on and began to roll down the embankment beside the road. Not once, not twice, not three times—the car you and your husband had been travelling home in had rolled four separate times. Glass shattered under the pressure as aluminium twisted and crumbled in something that mimicked a paper ball. Until eventually everything went quiet as you landed upside down. 

Unconscious and bleeding. Your knees had been shoved up under the steering wheel column—slicing down to the bone. The seatbelt that had meant to protect you crushed your ribs and punctured a lung. The airbag that had deployed to stop you from hitting your face against the steering wheel had broken your nose and jaw on impact. Everything hurt, everything—

“Jake—I—“

Until it didn’t. 

“I��m here.” Jake was lucky or unlucky enough to remain conscious the entire accident until the car came to a halt upside down. “We’re okay—“ Battered, bloodied and bruised Jake gasped as he tried to make sense of what the fuck had just happened. 

“Baby?” Jake called out softly, Turning his head to see that you just hung there, limp and bleeding in a mess of the deployed airbag. “Baby you with me?” Again, you didn’t respond and Jake could feel himself panicking. “Oh god please don’t leave me—“ He begged. “Don’t take her away from me!” He cried out as he struggled to unclip his seatbelt. Falling to the roof of the car that was now the floor in a heap as he hissed and groaned from the glass that tore shreds into his arms face. “Fuck—Y/n, I’m here I’m here baby you’re okay aren’t you honey?” Again Jake was met with no response as he felt tears streaming down his cheeks. “Oh god, oh god this is NOT happening.” In an attempt to free you, Jake tried to reach up and unclip your seatbelt. 

But it didn’t budge—not in the slightest bit. 

“Oh god baby come on, you’re alright? Wake up for me honey come on? COME ON!?” But you just weren’t answering. You weren’t breathing. Jake tried to guide the hair out of the bloodstream that dripped down your forehead to your cheek but the gravity of being trapped upside down just made it fall straight back. “I love you so much, please don’t leave.” 

“Baby, there’s help coming—“ Jake begged you to stay, he begged you not to leave him, he tried his best to get out of that damn car but you were stuck in there good. So Jake just waited. He waited and waited and held your hand as he sobered up and remembered he was the one who gave you the keys, knowing that if he had been driving it would have been him. “You gotta hang in there just a little longer so the medics can get you out.” 

But you were already gone. 

“Jake!” Bradley shouted as he raced down the embankment he’d gotten a taxi with Bob and begged the guy to pull over as they went past red and blue flashing lights in what felt like snow motion—noticing the sandy blonde aviators crumbled car down in the ditch. “Jake! Oh my god are you alright?” Bradley couldn’t believe his eyes when he crouched down to look in the car that still remained upside down. The medics hadn’t even finished grabbing their gear from the ambulance yet, that’s just how fast Rooster had run. 

“I’m good, I’m fine—it’s Y/n, she’s trapped man, I can't get her out.” Jake shook his head as he sniffled hard, still holding your hand. 

Bradley knew just by the first glance that you were gone. There was not a more sobering sight. 

“Okay, okay we’re gonna get her outta there.” He placed a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Gotta get you out first though.”

“I’m not leaving my wife in this car Bradshaw—“ Jake hissed. “I can’t.” 

“I really don’t think the medics are gonna give you a choice.” 

***~***~***~***~***~**~**

“I miss her so much—“ Jake cried out as Bradley made it over to where Jake kneeled on the grass. “So much Rooster.” 

“I know you do.” Bradley still to this day had no words that could bring Jake comfort or bring you back, but he was there for his best friend no matter what. “I got you man, I got you.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Leah’s 4K Celebration 🎊

[gardenschedule]

A collection of Beatles quotes about the breakup

I know I'm preaching to the choir on tumblr.com because people here examine the breakup with empathy, nuance and critical thought. BUT these quotes are convenient if you ever get caught up in frustrating arguments online with male boomer beatle fans who think John and George hated the band and couldn't wait to escape while Paul was desperate to get back together. Sorted by band member and chronological order.

Quotes from/about Ringo:

1969:

People really have tried to typecast us. They think we are still little moptops, and we are not. I don’t want to play in public again. I don’t miss being a Beatle anymore. You can’t get those days back. It’s no good living in the past.

Ringo Starr, 24 March 1969 while filming The Magic Christian in New York

1970:

Ringo?  He was the peacemaker for John, George and himself to Paul and was shaken to find Paul intransigent to the point of saying some pretty blunt things.  But none of the Beatles is vindictive, and pettiness is their natural enemy, and when Paul released his album, Ringo sent a telegram congratulation him on “Maybe I’m Amazed” (one of the tracks) and meant it.  Ringo has a lot of heart and more soul than most and since he knows he will be a Beatles to the grave, he will cooperate should it all come together again.

The Party's Over for the Beatles - written by Derek Taylor

“The Beatles have not split up. We are waiting for John to get back and then we will have a friendly Beatle chat and see what we are going to do. I keep looking around and thinking, ‘Where are they? What are they doing? When will they come and talk to me?’ This is supposed to be a press conference to promote my new film. The other Beatles aren’t here, so I don’t want to be answering questions for them. I hope to see Elvis in Las Vegas before I return to England. But, I will not be in the States for very long.”

The Beatles Off the Record (Keith Badman)

1971:

The Beatles might yet stay together as a group. Paul is the greatest bass player in the world. He is also determined. He goes on and on to see if he can get his own way. While that may be a virtue, it did mean that musical disagreements inevitably rose from time to time. But such disagreements contributed to really great products. […] I was shocked and dismayed, after Mr. McCartney’s promises about a meeting of all four Beatles in London in January, that a writ should have been issued on December 31. I trust Paul and I know he would not lightly disregard his promise. Something serious, about which I have no knowledge, must have happened between Paul’s meeting with George in New York at the end of December. […] My own view is that all four of us together could even yet work out everything satisfactorily.

Ringo Starr’s affidavit – From “The Beatles Diary Volume 2: After The Break-Up 1970-2001” by Keith Badman

No one doubted that Starkey would go along with the majority.

You Never Give Me Your Money – Peter Doggett

Later/unknown year:

RS: But that’s only Imagine. You know what I’m saying? Paul with his Band on the Run. We all started on a bus and small clubs and things like that, but Paul is that type of person. Paul wanted to do it all over again, and he did. And he went through hell. He went through hell. I mean, now he’s not talking to me and that’s too bad, but he started again from the bottom to do the Paul McCartney show. I don’t wanna do it anymore. I did it once.

All You Need Is Love – Peter Brown & Steven Gaines

Quotes from/about George:

1969:

“Yeah, quite definitely, but I’d like to do it with the Beatles but not on the old scale, that’s the only drag. With the Ono Band and me playing with Delaney and Bonnie there’s no expectations because it’s really quite anonymous, you just go and do whatever you can do. Once the Beatles are advertised and all the crowds come along they expect too much. I’d like to do the Beatles thing, but more like Delaney and Bonnie with us augmented with a few more singers, and a few trumpets, saxes, organs, and all that"

Interview conducted by Roy Carr, NME, 20 December 1969

1970:

George was greatly disappointed that Paul should come off like he was injured by Klein (business manager) whom George believes to have greatly eased the effects of the present and insured the safety of the future. George view is “Did you have to be so nasty. You can go so far but you can never get back, and you can say things which get in the way forever. For me, I would be glad to play with all of us again.”

The Party's Over for the Beatles - written by Derek Taylor

Q: “You think the Beatles will get together again, then?”

George: “Well, I don’t… I couldn’t tell, you know, if they do or not. I’ll certainly try my best to do something with them again, you know. I mean, it’s only a matter of accepting that the situation is a compromise. In a way it’s a compromise, and it’s a sacrifice, you know, because we all have to sacrifice a little in order to gain something really big. And there is a big gain by recording together – I think musically, and financially, and also spiritually. And for the rest of the world, you know, I think that Beatle music is such a big sort of scene – that I think it’s the least we could do is to sacrifice three months of the year at least, you know, just to do an album or two. I think it’s very selfish if the Beatles don’t record together.”

WABC-FM, May 1, 1970

The Harrison quote that went around the world that spring was purely optimistic: 'Everyone is trying to do his own album, and I am too. But after that I'm ready to go back with the others.'

You Never Give Me Your Money – Peter Doggett

1971:

The only serious row was between Paul and me. In 1968 I went to the United States and had a very easy co-operation with many leading musicians. This contrasted with the superior attitude which, for years past, Paul has shown towards me musically. In January 1969, we were making a film in a studio at Twickenham, which was dismal and cold, and we were all getting a bit fed up with our surroundings. In front of the cameras, as we were actually being filmed, Paul started to ‘get at’ me about the way I was playing. I decided I had had enough and told the others I was leaving. This was because I was musically dissatisfied. After a few days, the others asked me to return and since I did not wish to leave them in the lurch in the middle of filming and recording, and since Paul agreed that he would not try to interfere or teach me how to play, I went back. Since the row, Paul has treated me more as a musical equal. I think this whole episode shows how a disagreement could be worked out so that we all benefited. I just could not believe it when, just before Christmas, I received a letter from Paul’s lawyers. I still cannot understand why Paul acted as he did.

George Harrison’s affidavit – From “The Beatles Diary Volume 2: After The Break-Up 1970-2001” by Keith Badman

“In a “Come back Paul, all is forgiven” mood, George Harrison said this week: “I wish we could all be friends again. It’s a drag that things are as they are, because Apple is now becoming much more what we originally wanted it to be. “Personally I’d like to see Paul back at Apple and let him do what he wants to do. After all the new studio is his studio, too, and I’d like to see it all happening for us all.”

October 1971 Record Mirror

When John finally hinted that he would be willing to play with George when he appeared at Madison Square Garden. “Well, maybe I can come and help ya,” he said. “That’d be nice.” George glowered at John. Then George’s anger really burst forth. “Where were you when I needed you!” he snapped. It was the first of a series of explosions, each of them followed by moments of tense silence. “I did everything you said. But you weren’t there,” he repeated. “You always knew how to reach me,” John would reply evenly to each of these outbursts. There was no doubt in my mind, watching those two, that George’s anger with John had been accumulating for years. It was exactly the kind of situation that John usually ran from. But I could see in that moment that he loved George enough to remain calm and still as George drilled away at him. George said that repeatedly in the past he had sung what John wanted him to sing, said what John wanted him to say. Because John wanted it, George had gone along with the decision to go with Allen Klein. In the nearly four years since, John had virtually ignored him, a fact that pained George deeply. George’s voice grew even more harsh as he blasted John for his sudden appearance, as if out of nowhere, to offer an evening’s worth of help. Yet again George said furiously, I did everything you said, but you weren’t there.”

May Pang, Loving John

1973:

"George came into the office and said, 'I wanted you to know before anyone else. We're leaving Allen.' I said, 'Why?' And he said, 'We'll never get together again with Allen managing us.' And that was it. They left. George always had that distant hope."

Allan Stecker, Mojo interview 2023 (on Monday April 2 1973)

"[Allen Klein] made [John, George and Ringo] feel financially and artistically secure,” Steckler reckoned. So why did they decide that Klein had to go? Steckler believed he knew the answer. “George called me and said, ‘We’re not re-signing with Klein,’” he recalled. “I asked him why, and he said, 'The only way The Beatles can get together again is if Allen isn’t there. I’m ready to do it, so is Ringo, and I think we can persuade John to go along with it. But if we’re going to work with Paul, we need to get rid of Klein.’"

Peter Doggett, You Never Give Me Your Money

1978:

Personally, I’m not opposed to the idea, if it’s done through mutual agreement. But the pressure seems to be bigger than any of us, and when they talk of sums like $50 or $60 million, it’s almost a farce. I know Paul’s booked for the next few years, and John may have lost interest in the idea. Ringo and I are closest on it; we both feel it’s not impossible, but it’s highly unlikely, if only because of the legal and business maze that would have to be resolved before the four of us set foot on stage together.

M. George Haddad interview with George Harrison for Men Only magazine (Nov. 1978 issue)

Quotes from/about Paul:

1970:

On the eve of the release of the Beatles new movie and album “Let it Be,” Paul McCartney said, “I quit,” or “I think I quit,” which is roughly the same thing. As a publicity stunt, it’s as good or bad as any stunt they ever appeared to pull. But like every stunt they never did pull, this isn’t one either. McCartney’s declaration of independence was entirely impromptu, spontaneous and personal and so far had the group’s lines of communication become crossed that none of the Beatles really knew when the album would be out, or whether, nor did they greatly care.

...

I guess the way it stacks up now and the way it was around the time when Paul dropped the big on is that he wants right out of it all and they don’t.

The Party's Over for the Beatles - written by Derek Taylor

"John's reply was that I was daft!" He then said he wanted to leave the Beatles and wanted an immediate divorce. None of us really knew what to do about the situation, but we decided to wait until our film 'Let it Be' came out in April. I got bored and made 'McCartney' instead!"

Paul McCartney, in his first magazine interview since the split, tells FLIP's Keith Altham... "THE BEATLES ARE FINISHED!"

When we had to go to the studios, Linda would make the booking and we’d take some sandwiches and a bottle of grape juice and put the baby on the floor and it was all like a a holiday. So as a natural turn of events from looking for something to do, I found that I was enjoying working alone as much as I’d enjoyed the early days of the Beatles. I haven’t really enjoyed the Beatles for the last two years.

Paul, Interview for Evening Standard • Tuesday, April 21-22, 1970

Klein tells George he will get him more money and he tells Ringo the same. He tells them all that there are four first-class Beatles, not two and John doesn’t mind being told this. Paul doesn’t like any of it, none of it. He has a father-in-law who is also from New York and his name is Lee Eastman. Lee Eastman is also a toughie, but his manners are more formal than Klein’s and some people like him. Paul would like Eastman to be the Mr Big Apple needs. John wants Mr Klein to be Mr Big. A year passes. It is 1970. Paul still doesn’t like Klein but John digs him more than ever and George digs him more than that and Ringo doesn’t mind him. Paul? He is so uptight about Klein he only leaves the Beatles, that’s all.

As Time Goes By - Derek Taylor

1971:

Klein: “If Paul McCartney doesn’t get his way, he bitches. He may have a choirboy image in the press and with fans, but I’m here to tell you its bullshit. If anybody broke up the Beatles, it was him.”

Allen Klein, Playboy: A candid conversation with the embattled manager of the Beatles. (November, 1971) (note: obviously we should not trust a word Klein says, but at this point why isn't he repeating John's party line that he wanted a divorce?)

I think John thought I was using this press release for publicity-as I suppose, in a way, it was. So it all looked very weird, and it ruffled a few feathers. The good thing about it was that we all had to finally own up to the fact that we'd broken up three or four months before. We'd been ringing each other quite constantly, sort of saying, 'Let's get it back together.' And I think me, George and Ringo did want to save things. But I think John was, at that point, too heavily into his new life-which you can't blame him.

You Never Give Me Your Money – Peter Doggett

1972:

“We planned a big festival for one afternoon in Central Park, and ‘Imagine’ was the theme. Each retarded person from an institution would be paired with one able-bodied volunteer – twenty-five thousand people in the park. The issue arose whether the retarded should come to the matinee concert at Madison Square Garden. Obviously it would be a huge revenue loss. So Allen Klein and John just bought $50,000 worth of tickets and gave them to the retarded kids and volunteers.” Suddenly John got cold feet, after the concert had been sold out for weeks. “John said he didn’t want to do it,” Rivera recalled. “He said he hadn’t played in public for years, he hadn’t rehearsed with a band, he was just too nervous. …When they had that rush of insecurity, Yoko told me that she and John called Paul and Linda. They said, ‘Let’s bury the hatchet and appear together at the concert.’ Why Paul said ‘No’ I’ll never know.” Rivera and others managed to calm John’s fears and get him to start rehearsing with Elephant’s Memory.

Jon Wiener, Come Together: John Lennon in His Time. (1984)

“A few months ago, John asked us to do a concert with him at Madison Square Garden (note: same concert as the above quote) and it’s a pity now that we didn’t do it. I didn’t want to do it at the time but we will do things, I’m sure. I don’t see any reason why all four Beatles shouldn’t be on stage at some time all playing together and having a good time. I don’t think you’ll ever get the Beatles reforming, because that’s all gone. The Beatles were a special thing in a special era and I really couldn’t see it all coming together again. But I think it’s daft to assume that just because we had a couple of business upsets we won’t ever see each other again, or that if John has a concert some time we won’t go up and play on it.”

Paul McCartney, interview with Ray Connolly in The Evening Standard, December 2, 1972 (source: The Ray Connolly Beatles Archive)

“Don’t ever call me ex-Beatle McCartney again. That was one band I was with. Now I’m not with them. I’ve got another band. We won’t do things the same way any more. We’re not so bothered in trying to please other people all the time even though we obviously don’t try to displease them. All we want, in Wings, is to please ourselves with our music, That’s all.

“If people start fan clubs for us, do that kind of thing from the past, well, fine. But we won’t start one. I just get irritated by people constantly harping on the past, about the days when I was with that other band, the Beatles.

“The other Beatles get together and that is fine, but I’m almost always in another part of the world. The Beatles was my old job. We’re not like friends – we just know each other. But we don’t work together. so there’s no point keeping up old relationships.”

“All I know for sure is that I’ll never be conned again. I’m 30 now and, after what I’ve been through. I should know my way around. I get angry with fans, who interrupt my life, even now. I get fed up with the feeling that I was losing my identity, becoming some kind of legend, not a person. And I’m downright angry with the people who keep trying to get me back with the others again.

1976:

“The truth is very ordinary. The truth is just that since we split up, we’ve not seen much of each other. We visit occasionally, we’re still friends, but we don’t feel like getting up and playing again. You can’t tell that to people. You say that and they say, ‘How about this money, then?’ ‘Or how about this?’ And you end up having to think of reasons why you don’t feel like it. And, of course, any one of them taken on its own isn’t really true, but I was just stuck for an answer, so I said I wouldn’t do it just for the money anyway. And I saw John last time, he says, ‘I agreed with that.’ But there’s a million other points in there. A whole million angles. “I tell you, before this tour, I was tempted to ring everyone up and say, ‘Look, is it true we’re not going to get back together, ‘cause we all pretty much feel like we’re not. And as long as I could get everyone to say, ‘No, we’re definitely not,’ then I could say ‘It’s a definite no-no.’ But I know my feeling, and I think the others’ feeling, in a way, is we don’t want to close the door to anything in the future. We might like it someday.

Paul McCartney, Rolling Stone: Yesterday, Today, and Paul. (June 17th, 1976)

Later/unknown year:

“John phoned me once to try and get the Beatles back together again, after we’d broken up. And I wasn’t for it, because I thought that we’d come too far and I was too deeply hurt by it all. I thought, “Nah, what’ll happen is that we’ll get together for another three days and all hell will break loose again. Maybe we just should leave it alone.”

Paul, November 1995 Club Sandwich interview

“ELLEN: So was there ever a time when both you and John Lennon wanted to reform the Beatles? PAUL: There was a time… let’s put it this way: there was never a time when all four of us wanted to do it. And each time it was always someone different who didn’t fancy it And I’m actually glad of that now. Because the Beatles’ work is a body of work. There’s nothing to be ashamed of there. In the end we decided we should leave well enough alone. The potential disappointment of coming on and not being as good as the Beatles had been… that was a risk we shouldn’t take

Paul McCartney, interview w/ Mark Ellen for Radio Times. (October 20th-26th, 2007)

Quotes from/about John:

1969:

JOHN: The point is, if George leaves, do we want to carry on The Beatles? I do. [inaudible; drowned out by mic feedback] And I’d just get another member of the group and carry on. But if The Beatles split, well, I’ll get another group. [to Paul and Yoko?] I’m a singer not a dancer, baby! Woo-hoo!

January 10th, 1969 (Twickenham Film Studios, London)

Friday, 21 March, John: “Everything we do, we shall be doing together. I don’t mean I shall break up The Beatles, or anything, but we want to share everything.”

The Beatles Off the Record (Keith Badman)

MICHAEL: But funny enough, the other day, when we were talking, he said that he really did not want not to be a Beatle. He said he really looked forward – not, you know. Meaning he didn’t want that screwed up.

[T]he Beatles are always discussing, “Should we go on or shouldn’t we? Why are we together for now?” And what it gets down to is I like playing rock n’ roll and I like making rock n’ roll records. Now, I’ve got either the choice— if I want the whole LP to myself — is to get a few musicians together. Now, I know that— I’ve played with other musicians — just very rarely, but occasionally I’ve played with them — and it needs some work together to get anything going. I don’t like session men, so I try not to use them. I don’t like violinists or anything these days. I try not to use anybody but the Beatles. And if I wanted to make a record I’d chose the Beatles! I can say, “Give me a ‘Be Bop A Lula’”. So therefore, we’ve got that going. And even from a commercial point, when we discuss it, “What’s the biggest selling name? Beatles or John Lennon and The Fabs? Or George Harrison and The Fabs?” Which— Where’s our biggest market? It’s Beatles! Who are our closest friends? Beatles! Who do we have the most arguments with? Beatles. So Beatles is it!

John Lennon and Yoko Ono give a series of interviews at the Apple Corps building at 3 Savile Row, London (Friday, 12 September 1969).

JOHN: See they’re growing up too, you know. And uh, we all want Beatles still cause it’s, it’s a big power and it’s good power, you know. And we’ve no intention of splitting it, you know. Any of us. I can’t be specific about it, you know. But obviously, I’m deeply involved with Yoko, it has some…you know, maybe less reliant on the others but so it goes for the others too, you know. That as we’re all sort of branching out. Which we were occasionally all the time, you know. Like I did How I Won The War, I wrote In His Own Write and Paul wrote the music for Family Way, etc. and George went off to India with sitars and that. So it’s only, you know. We nip off and come back and do some work then nip off again, you know.

John and Yoko gave several interviews on September 12, 1969

[Will] The Beatles split up? It just depends how much we all want to record together. I don’t know if I want to record together again. I go off and on it. I really do.”

John Lennon, interview w/ Alan Smith for NME. (December 13th, 1969)

JOHN: I was really losing interest in just doing the Beatles’ bit – and I think we all were – but Paul did a good job in holding us together for a few years while we were sort of undecided about what to do, you know. And I found out what to do, and it didn’t really have to be with the Beatles. It could have been, if they wanted… But uh, it got that I couldn’t wait for them to make up their minds about peace or whatever. About committing themselves. It’s the same as the songs. So I’ve gone ahead – and I’d have liked them to have come along.

YORKE: Did you ever try to get them into the peace scene?

JOHN: I did a little at first, but I think it was too much like Yoko and me and what we’re doing and trying to get them to come along; and I think they reacted. I hassled them too much, so I’m really leaving them alone. Maybe they’ll come along, wagging their tails behind them, and if not, good luck to them.

John Lennon, interview w/ Ritchie Yorke. (December 23rd, 1969)

“This is why I’ve started with the Plastic Ono and working with Yoko . . . to have more outlet. There isn’t enough outlet for me in the Beatles. The Ono Band is my escape valve. And how important that gets, as compared to the Beatles for me, I’ll have to wait and see.

NEW MUSICAL EXPRESS DECEMBER 13, 1969

1970:

Why do you think he [Paul] has lost interest in Apple?

That’s what I want to ask him! We had a heavy scene last year as far as business was concerned and Paul got a bit fed-up with all the effort of business. I think that’s all it is. I hope so.

John Lennon interviewed by Roy Shipston for Disc and Music Echo (February 28, 1970)

John’s view is: “Okay. If this is it, this is it. We’ve all left the Beatles anyway.” If Paul were to approach him and say, “Let’s do it together again,” he probably would; with no more words, he probably would do it.

The Party's Over for the Beatles - written by Derek Taylor

Now even Lennon was prepared to hint at a positive outcome: 'I've no idea if the Beatles will work together again, or not. I never really have. It was always open. If somebody didn't feel like it, that's it! It could be a rebirth or a death. We'll see what it is. It'll probably be a rebirth.'

You Never Give Me Your Money – Peter Doggett

'Eventually,' McCartney recalled, 'I went and said, "I want to leave. You can all get on with Klein and everything, just let me out." Having not spoken to Lennon for several weeks, he sent him a letter that summer, pleading that the former partners 'let each other out of the trap'. As McCartney testified, Lennon 'replied with a photograph of himself and Yoko, with a balloon coming out of his mouth in which was written, "How and Why?" I replied by letter saying, "How by signing a paper which says we hereby dissolve our partnership. Why because there is no partnership." John replied on a card which said, "Get well soon. Get the other signatures and I will think about it.” Communication was at an end. Yet the press continued to believe, fired by hope more than evidence, that it was only a matter of days before the four men healed their wounds. The stories taunted McCartney, who fired off a letter to the prime offender, Melody Maker: 'Dear Mailbag, In order to put out of its misery the limping dog of a news story which has been dragging itself across your pages for the past year, my answer to the question, "Will the Beatles get together again?"...is no.' He had finally pronounced the verdict that was missing from his self-interview in April: the Beatles were no more.

You Never Give Me Your Money – Peter Doggett (note: John is stalling)

For McCartney, and maybe Harrison and Starkey as well, this signified hope. ‘For about three or four months,' he recalled years later, 'George, Ringo and I rang each other to ask, "Well, is this it, then?" It wasn't that the record company had dumped us. It was just a case of: we might get back together again. Nobody quite knew if it was one of John's little flings, and that maybe he was going to feel the pinch in a week's time and say, “I was only kidding.” I think John did kind of leave the door open. He'd said, “I'm pretty much leaving the group, but...” McCartney testified in 1971, ‘I think all of us (except possibly John) expected we would come together again one day.

You Never Give Me Your Money – Peter Doggett

John: George was on the session for Instant Karma, Ringo’s away and Paul’s – I dunno what he’s doing at the moment, I haven’t a clue.

Interviewer: When did you last see him?

John: Uh, before Toronto. I’ll see him this week actually. If you’re listening, I’m coming round. (Note: as AKOM point out, Toronto was before the divorce meeting. Why is he pretending it never happened?)

Feb 6th 1970 (audio snippet approx 1:14:00)

Interviewer: What about the Beatles all together as a group?

John: As soon as they’re ready, you know, we had half the Beatles on again at the Lyceum Ballroom. Uh it was George and me but we also had Delaney and Bonney and 17 piece band we had on, it was a great experience. Uh it should be like that you know, if we were doing that and all the Beatles wanted to come it would be great, and it would be no great thing about ‘oh the Beatles are coming back on stage’ like they expect, sorta of, Buddha and Mohammad to come on and play. I keep saying that, but that’s the fear the Beatles have, including me as a Beatle, about performing. It’s such a great – so much expected of us, you know, but you see George has been on tour with Bonnie and Delaney playing and I’ve been drifting around playing, it’s just playing isn’t the hang up. It’s going on as the Beatles that’s the problem for us.

1970 (audio snippet approx 1:23:00)

Interviewer: Do you care about making another Beatles album?

John: I think Beatles is a good communication media you know, and I wouldn’t destroy it out of hand or dissolve it out of hand. So that’s what I think about Beatles.

1970 (audio snippet approx 1:41:00)

Interviewer: Why do you think rumours like this start?

John: Because there was a lot of tension around the Allen Klein coming in days and the ATV thing going on, and the Beatles were under a lot of pressure and we had to be together all the time, fighting and arguing and listening to all the different business things. And so we’re taking a break from each other like we always did after a tour end. The business thing is like a heavy tour, in it we may get back in abbey road and a couple of singles and under a great strain you know, doing that business. And so now we’re just taking a break from each other.

1970 (audio snippet approx 1:41:00)

You can’t pin me down because I haven’t got- there’s no- it’s completely open, whether we do it or not. Life is like that, whether I make another Plastic Ono album or Lennon album or anything is open you know, I don’t like to prejudge it. And I have no idea if the Beatles are working together again or not, I never did have, it was always open. If someone didn’t feel like it, that’s it. And maybe if one of us starts it off, the others will all come round and make an album you know.

1970 (audio snippet approx 1:43:00)

In 1964 I produced a book, they were asking me that then, and why should I not write a book? The Beatles wanted me to do it, they wanted me to do these LPs, you know, they have nothing against it – I want George to produce and record any records he wants to. It doesn’t interfere with Beatle time, I use my own time to do other things and so do they. The Beatles will remain, there’s no doubt about that. And we’ve been saying it since She Loves You, we’re together and that’s it.

1970 (audio snippet approx 1:45:00)

I just uh I wanted to do it [announce the breakup] you know, should’ve done it. I think damn, shit, what a fool I was. But there were many pressures at that time, I think Northern Songs and all that was going on, it would’ve upset the whole thing. (Note: again as AKOM point out, the Northern Songs fight ended the day before the divorce meeting. Why would the pressure of Northern Songs impact John's decision not to announce the breakup?)

Lennon Remembers

1971:

INT: I asked Lee Eastman for his view of the split, and what it was that prompted Paul to file suit to dissolve the Beatles' partnership, and he said it was because John asked for a divorce.

JOHN: Because I asked for a divorce? That's a childish reason for going into court, isn't it?

John Lennon interviewed by Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld at the St. Regis Hotel, September 5, 1971

Well, there was this Japanese monk, and it happened in the last 20 years. He was in love with this big golden temple, y’know, he really dug it, like—and you know he was so in love with it, he burnt it down so that it would never deteriorate. That’s what I did with the Beatles.

John Lennon, interview w/ Alan Smith for NME: At home with the Lennons. (August 7th, 1971)

MCCABE: Let’s talk a bit about Paul’s aversion to Klein. From what we’ve read it seemed as if this wasn’t there in the beginning, even though Paul wanted the Eastmans to run things. But it came on later as things progressed. And yet despite this, we gather that Klein was still hoping that Paul would return to the group.

JOHN: Oh, he’d love it if Paul would come back. I think he was hoping he would for years and years. He thought that if he did something, to show Paul that he could do it, Paul would come around. But no chance. I mean, I want him to come out of it, too, you know. He will one day. I give him five years, I’ve said that. In five years he’ll wake up.

MCCABE: But Klein is still hoping?

JOHN: He said to me, “Would you do it, if we got your immigration thing fixed? Or if we could get rid of the drug conviction?”

YOKO: And people don’t understand, you know. There’s so many groups that constantly announce they’re going to split, they’re going to split, and they can announce it every year, and it doesn’t mean they’re going to split. But people don’t understand what an extraordinary position the Beatles are in, you know. In every way. They’re in such an extraordinary position that they’re more insecure than other people. And so Klein thinks he’ll give Paul two years Linda-wise, you know. And John said, “No, Paul treasures things like children, things like that. It will be longer.” And of course, John was right.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono, interview w/ Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld. (September, 1971)

It was true, that when the group was touring, their work and social relationships were close, but there had been a lot of arguing, mainly about musical and artistic matters. I suppose Paul and George were the main offenders in this respect, but from time to time we all gave displays of temperament and threatened to ‘walk out’. Of necessity, we developed a pattern for sorting out our differences, by doing what any three of us decided. It sometimes took a long time and sometimes there was deadlock and nothing was done, but generally that was the rule we followed and, until recent events, it worked quite well. Even when we stopped touring, we frequently visited each other’s houses in or near London and personally we were on terms as close as we had ever been. If anything, Paul was the most sociable of us. From our earliest days in Liverpool, George and I, on the one hand, and Paul, on the other, had different musical tastes. Paul preferred ‘pop-type’ music and we preferred what is now called ‘underground’. This may have led to arguments, particularly between Paul and George, but the contrast in our tastes, I am sure, did more good than harm, musically speaking, and contributed to our success.

If Paul is trying to break us up because of anything that happened before the Klein–Eastman power struggle, his reasoning does not make sense to me.

John Lennon’s affidavit – From “The Beatles Diary Volume 2: After The Break-Up 1970-2001” by Keith Badman

JOHN: Yeah, Gilbert and Sullivan. I always remember watching the film with Robert Morley and thinking, “We’ll never get to that.” [pause] And we did, which really upset me. But I never really thought we’d be so stupid. But we did.

WIGG: What, like splitting like they did?

JOHN: Like splitting and arguing, you know, and then they come back, and one’s in a wheelchair twenty years later—

YOKO: [laughs] Yes, yes.

JOHN: —and all that. [laughs; bleak] I never thought we’d come to that, because I didn’t think we were that stupid. But we were naive enough to let people come between us. And I think that’s what happened. [pause] But it was happening anyway. I don’t mean Yoko, I mean businessmen, you know. All of them.

October, 1971 (St Regis Hotel, New York)

Q: "Did Klein hope to get Paul back into the group?"

JOHN: (laughs) "He came up with this plan. He said, "Just ring Paul and say, 'We're recording next Friday, are you coming?' So it nearly happened. Then Paul would have forfeited his right to split by joining us again. But Paul would never, never do it, for anything, and now I would never do it."

St Regis Hotel Interview, September 5th, 1971.

John would say things like, ‘It was rubbish. The Beatles were crap.’ Also, ‘I don’t believe in The Beatles, I don’t believe in Jesus, I don’t believe in God.’ Those were quite hurtful barbs to be flinging around, and I was the person they were being flung at, and it hurt. So, I’m having to read all this stuff, and on the one hand I’m thinking, ‘Oh fuck off, you fucking idiot,’ but on the other hand I’m thinking, ‘Why would you say that? Are you annoyed at me or are you jealous or what?’ And thinking back fifty years later, I still wonder how he must have felt. He’d gone through a lot. His dad disappeared, and then he lost his Uncle George, who was a father figure; his mother; Stuart Sutcliffe; Brian Epstein, another father figure; and now his band. But John had all of those emotions wrapped up in a ball of Lennon. That’s who he was. That was the fascination.

I tried. I was sort of answering him here, asking, ‘Does it need to be this hurtful?’ I think this is a good line: ‘Are you afraid, or is it true?’ – meaning, ‘Why is this argument going on? Is it because you’re afraid of something? Are you afraid of the split-up? Are you afraid of my doing something without you? Are you afraid of the consequences of your actions?’ And the little rhyme, ‘Or is it true?’ Are all these hurtful allegations true? This song came out in that kind of mood. It could have been called ‘What the Fuck, Man?’ but I’m not sure we could have gotten away with that then.

Paul McCartney, on “Dear Friend”. In The Lyrics (2021).

Q: “If you got, I don’t know what the right phrase is… ‘back together’ now, what would be the nature of it?” JOHN: “Well, it’s like saying, if you were back in your mother’s womb… I don’t fucking know. What can I answer? It will never happen, so there’s no use contemplating it. Even if I became friends with Paul again, I’d never write with him again. There’s no point. I write with Yoko because she’s in the same room with me.” YOKO: “And we’re living together.” JOHN: “So it’s natural. I was living with Paul then, so I wrote with him. It’s whoever you’re living with. He writes with Linda. He’s living with her. It’s just natural.””

St. Regis Hotel Interview, September 5, 1971

1973:

My last question was inevitable… Any chance of us seeing the four Beatles on a stage or record together again? “There’s always a chance,” grinned John. “As far as I can gather from talking to them all, nobody would mind doing some work together again. There’s no law that says we’re not going to do something together, and no law that says we are. If we did do something I’m sure it wouldn’t be permanent. We’d do it just for that moment. I think we’re closer now than we have been for a long time. I call the split the divorce period and none of us ever thought there’d be a divorce like that. “That’s the way things turned out. We know each other well enough to talk about it.””

John Lennon, interview w/ Chris Charlesworth for Melody Maker. (November 3rd, 1973)

MINTZ: Would you want to initiate that happening?

JOHN: Uh… Well, I couldn’t say. [long pause]

MINTZ: If you could, I mean is it something you would like to see yourself doing?

JOHN: If I could… I don’t know, Elliot, because you know me, I go on instinct. And if the idea hit me tomorrow, you know, I might call them and say, “Come on, let’s do something.” And so I couldn’t really tell you. If it happens, it’ll happen.

MINTZ: So it’s not something that you would totally rule out as never taking place again?

JOHN: No, no. My memories are now all fond and the wounds are healed. And if we do it, we do it, if we record, we record. I don’t know. As long as we make music.

November 1st/10th, 1973 (Malibu, Los Angeles): For Eyewitness News on KABC TV Los Angeles, Elliot Mintz

1974:

“No, no, no,” he answered and he meant it. “I’m going to be an ex-Beatle for the rest of my life so I might as well enjoy it, and I’m just getting around to being able to stand back and see what happened. A couple of years ago I might have given everybody the impression I hate it all, but that was then. I was talking when I was straight out of therapy and I’d been mentally stripped bare and I just wanted to shoot my mouth off to clear it all away. Now it’s different.

“When I slagged off the Beatle thing in the papers, it was like divorce pangs, and me being me it was blast this and fuck that, and it was just like the old days in the Melody Maker, you know, ‘Lennon Blasts Hollies’ on the back page. You know, I’ve always had a bit of a mouth and I’ve got to live up to it. Daily Mirror: ‘Lennon beats up local DJ at Paul’s 21st birthday party’. Then we had that fight Paul and me had through the Melody Maker, but it was a period I had to go through.

John Lennon, interview w/ Ray Coleman for Melody Maker: Lennon – a night in the life. (September 14th, 1974)

John seemed to be in a very strange state of mind about the dissolution. From the hints he had dropped since we had been together, I had learned that John’s departure from the Beatles had essentially been Yoko’s idea. Without Yoko to drive him forward, he felt strangely ambivalent about officially ending the Beatles at that moment. By nature, also, he felt inclined to take a position opposite from that of Paul McCartney. Paul desperately wanted that agreement signed. Whether or not it was the best thing for him to do, John, on principle, was inclined not to want to sign it.

May Pang, Loving John. (1983)

I’ll tell you exactly why I said that. We had a business meeting to break up The Beatles, one of the famous ones that we’d been having — we’re still having them 17 years later, actually. We all flew in to New York specially. George came off his disastrous tour, Ring of flew in and we were at the Plaza for the big final settlement meeting. John was half a mile away at the Dakota and he sent a balloon over with a note that said ‘Listen to this balloon.’ I mean, you’ve got to be pretty cool to handle that kind of stuff.

George blew his cool and rang him up: ’You fucking maniac!! You take your fucking dark glasses off and come and look at us, man!!’ and gave him a whole load of that shit. Around the same time at another meeting we had it all settled, and John asked for an extra million pounds at the last minute. So of course that meeting blew up in disarray. Later, when we got a bit friendlier — and from time to time there would be these little stepping-stones of friendship in the Apple sea — I asked him why he’d actually wanted that million and he said, I just wanted cards to play with. It’s absolutely standard business practice. He wanted a couple of jacks to up your pair of nines. He was one great guy, but part of his greatness was that he wasn’t a saint.

Paul McCartney: An Innocent Man? (October, 1986) (note: John is STILL stalling)

At that moment, John was at his most unpredictable. Suddenly his fears that his money was going to be taken away from him, that he was going to be cheated, that he had to have as much money as possible, had all come into play. This was also John’s way of resisting the reality that the Beatles were officially about to come to end, and that Paul was about to prevail.

Loving John, MAY PANG (1983)

1975:

“At the time I was thinking that I didn’t want to do all that Beatles—but now I feel differently. I’ve lost all that negativity about the past and I’d be happy as Larry to do ‘Help’. I’ve just changed completely in two years. I’d do ‘Hey Jude’ and the whole damn show, and I think George will eventually see that. If he doesn’t, that’s cool. That’s the way he wants to be.”

John Lennon, interview w/ Chris Charlesworth for Melody Maker: Rock on! (March 8th, 1975)

1976:

“I’ve always felt that splitting up was a mistake in many ways” John Lennon has said, and he believes a Beatles revival “would undoubtedly produce some great music.”

Australian Woman’s Weekly, 1976

1980:

“I and the other three former Beatles have plans to stage a reunion concert…” (Part of a statement in the legal disposition brought by Apple Corps against the ‘Beatlemania’ stage musical for trademark infringement. John was referring to an event that was to be filmed for a documentary being put together by Neil Aspinall. It was abandoned/shelved after John’s death, but ultimately became the Anthology project)

John Lennon, 1980

“Just days before his brutal death, John was making plans to go to England for a triumphant Beatles reunion. His greatest dream was to recreate the musical magic of the early years with Paul, George and Ringo … (he) felt that they had traveled different paths for long enough. He felt they had grown up and were mature enough to try writing and recording new songs.”

Yoko Ono, quoted in The Beatles: The Dream Is Over - Off The Record 2 by Keith Badman