#Get Scared of Internet Strangers Again Please!

[kiwi]

everybodys gotta get back into the practice of using pseudonyms online... i remember the time of screen names where u never ever told anyone ur real name and that was just understood as basic internet safety. plus having a screen name is fun because sometimes it sticks so well that it becomes part of ur identity that u can use in whatever facet of ur life you choose. it rocks to pick your own name

[greyedian]

lmao i'm always so bad at actually sticking with my tumblr breaks, but being on here less and not really engaging with fandom already helps a ton tbh. but yeah idk in case anyone's wondering: yeah i'm still here and yeah i'm still having a bit of a creative existential crisis what else is new 👍

[the-peak-tmnt]

Hey The Neon Void readers, quick update from the author's sister!

(art commission by @kaysdenofchaos)

Hi readers of The Neon Void fanfic. This is the author’s older sister. She’s been getting a lot of fan art and asks lately. She’s sent me screenshots of a few unanswered ones looking for advice on how to respond.

While all the love and support of TNV is genuinely appreciated, my sister @sugarpasteltmnt is not equipped to respond to a small handful of these asks/comments that are, quite frankly, inappropriate.

Sugarpastels is not a therapist, and she’s certainly not an internet stranger’s therapist.

She’s an adult with an extremely demanding and stressful job for a very large client. Some of you have already experienced and enjoyed her work IRL without knowing it. Her company is close to finishing another project that will bring a lot of joy to hundreds of thousands of people every year, but working on a project of that scale is extremely stressful.

She is writing this fanfic for fun. TNV is a way for her to decompress and put her creative energy towards something other than work.

What’s not fun is coming home to asks/comments from readers who are projecting their own struggles/mental health onto TNV, and even Sugarpastels herself, and demanding some sort of attention from her over it.

Let’s be real: it’s fun to watch our blorbos suffer! So much of fandom is just us putting our favorite characters in Situations because it’s fun. Simple as that. But I think another reason TNV has resonated so strongly with readers is because of the way Sugarpastels writes the internal struggles of these characters.

We are both aware that TNV deals with mental health topics. Since the early days of “modern” fandom, fanfiction has been a way for people to explore complicated, difficult and sometimes even taboo subjects. There’s no shortage of complex feelings being explored in TNV, which is why we’re all having so much fun reading it.

But that’s all it is; an exploration. Sugarpastels is not a mental health expert. I’ve read a handful of books on PTSD and mindfulness for research while writing my own fanfic, and I would never consider myself prepared to help someone else.

It’s okay if you relate to things from TNV. I know I do! Again, fanfic has always been a way to read about things rarely dealt with (or handled poorly) in published fiction/tv shows/movies. I will always argue one of the greatest things about fanfiction and other fanworks is being able to see ourselves and our own struggles through our favorite fictional characters.

But Sugarpastels is not a fictional character. She’s a real person. Most importantly (to me at least) she’s my little sister, and this big sister cannot handle watching some of her readers expect more of her than is appropriate.

So I’m asking you to please be mindful of what you ask/say to not just her, but literally everyone on the internet. Unless you’re chatting with someone regularly, they do not know you. Whether it’s friends, family, teachers, coaches, etc, there are people in your life who know you personally, and are therefore better equipped to help you than a stranger on the internet.

Sugarpastels is so full of empathy that it’s hard to not feel for you when you send things like this. But it just isn’t fair to put that kind of unnecessary pressure on someone who is, at the end of the day, just trying to have some fun writing about ninja turtles bein’ sad.

(That being said, PLEASE DON’T BE SCARED TO SEND HER ASKS AND FAN ART!!! They make her day every single time and are seriously so, so appreciated. She’s texting me about it constantly how much she loves all of TNV’s readers. This whole post is really directed at an extremely small percentage of her readers, but there have been enough I felt something needed to be said.)

[ceesimz]

Hi, please dont take this the wrong way I'm just curious

But if you haven't seen a medical professional, does that mean you're self diagnosed or are there other ways to get diagnosed that don't require medical professionals

ughh im not a fan of talking about it much because it's scary, people get so weird and particular about it and i don't have a great experience, it just makes me so uncomfortable but i'll try to be as honest as possible

i'm really not clued up on ways to be diagnosed. i went through a "child assessment" when i was a teenager and it was a really awful experience with some really horrible doctors that it made me never want to talk about it, i didn't want anything to do with even just the word autism, i completely rejected it all and myself for a while and was in a really dark place afterwards. i've worked really hard since to get to a place where i'm comfortable with it and with myself but it's still so hard for me to talk about. now tho, im on the waiting list for another assessment, but in the uk at least it's not just a one appointment and done things, it's a very very long process. so i've seen medical professionals that have told me im autistic after one discussion but they can't give me a diagnosis because it's not from an assessment.

i had a meeting this week with my uni that was a big challenge for me to sit through lol and they proposed the idea of a educational diagnosis which i think im gonna go ahead with. basically means i'll have a couple meetings with an autism educational specialist and then they'll feed back to the uni of if i have it (which i do) and what they can do for me. i think it's the best thing for me and depending on how far it can go in terms of getting support, i might just pull off the waiting list for a medical diagnosis because i really do not want to go through that process again because i'm scared of what'll happen if i do, i almost didn't come out of the last one both mentally and physically

i don't need a doctor to give their signature on a letter saying i have it. i know i do, the only reason i went back on the waiting list is for uni but they've given me another route that i'm definitely gonna take. and i don't necessarily use the term self diagnosis because the meaning of it has been skewed for me by social media, i know that i have it and that's all that matters to me, its been really difficult to get to this point so im not complicating it by adding extra labels on top

there are some topics for me that i just shut down whenever they're mentioned and don't want to talk about ever, and this is one of them, but i tried my best! however im not the person to go to for things like this, i always ask that you please do research if you're intrigued rather than trusting a stranger on the internet, especially me who's too scared to talk about such a easy topic lol and has had a bad enough experience that they shut themself away from it.

if i get any trolls from this post im taking it down and disappearing because i don't have the strength to deal with hate and trolls about a topic i've clearly stated is hard for me lol here's to hoping there's a little faith and humanity left in the anons of this space

[sngj08]

[We Meet Again] idol!anton x fan!fem!reader

summary: RIIZE liked your tiktok video. You didn't really think much of it until a fan seemingly dmed you something interesting. You ended up realizing that one of the members knows your dad as a family friend.

genre: strangers to friends, family friends, tiktok

warning: cursing, reader may be harsh and opinionated on some riize members, old internet slangs

based on real life events

- acc m.list

"YN WAKE UP!!! YOU HAVE SCHOOL TODAY!!" You heard your mom screaming from downstairs as you groan to yourself.

You forced yourself to stand up and get ready for school.

You did your morning routine, grabbed your school backpack, phone and left to school.

"Girl did you do your math homework?" Your friend said to you.

"Not a good morning Giselle?" You said playfully to your friend.

"Girl I'm serious. I already have 2 missing assignments in class." She nudged you as you smiled back at her.

"Yeah yeah. I did the homework." You said while handing her the homework.

"Ok send it to me, by lunch the latest. Bye girl and good luck in class." She waved goodbye as you both parted ways.

"Ok guys lets do it!" Your teacher opened the door, as it was your reminder to go to class.

As soon as you placed down your stuff by your table, you took your homework out and took a picture.

You sat down on your chair and properly prepared yourself for class before you send the homework to your friend.

You tried sending the message but your school wifi was not helping at all.

'Ugh f the school wifi.' You said under your breath.

"Do you want my pocket wifi?" One of the guys you thought was cute in your class handed you his pocket wifi.

Without hesitation, you took the wifi and entered the password onto your phone.

"Thanks." You said quietly to him while giving the wifi packet back with a smile.

"No problem." He smiled back. And without any hasle, the message went through easily until your phone started pinging nonstop.

"Can you please turn off your phone Yn. You are disrupting the class." The teacher said to you.

"Sorry sir." You said as you placed your phone on silent and placed it in your bag.

After school you went straight home and checked your phone.

You finally opened your phone from its slumber and your phone started pinging nonstop again.

"The fuck?" You cursed at yourself to see what it happening.

*RIIZE has liked your post*

You found the notification that were most likely the problem of all the spam notifications.

RIIZE just debuted and your sister introduced them to you.

You can say aren't a big fan of them but you still made tiktoks about them for fun.

It didn't bother you that RIIZE has been commenting on posts they see on tiktok because you thought of the low chance of the possibility to happen until now.

You got a mix of notifications of fans liking the same post and spam liking your other posts as well. You also got some notifications of some people following you out of no where.

You checked all the notifications until you saw some profile pictures of the people who followed you.

You decided to follow back fellow briize whom their pfp looks interesting.

You followed probably a 5 people until your mom called you.

"YN!!! DO THE DISHES!!!" Your mom screamed to you from downstairs again as you roll your eyes in annoyance.

"OK MOM!" You screamed back at your mom while going downstairs.

As you finished washing the dishes, you ran back upstairs so that your mom won't tell you to do more chores.

You only had one year left to be with your mom because you were already a senior in high school this year and you would start to live separately during college which scares you.

You shake off the idea of paying for rent when you went back up to your room and grabbed your phone.

*someone messeged you on tiktok*

A notification was shown on your phone from a person you just had become friends with on tiktok.

briize532: your yn right?

They probably looked into your instagram or something which is conncected onto your tiktok bio so you had no worries replying

you: yeah, why are you asking?

briize532: you're ****'s daughter right?

As you say another weird message from the person, you thought to yourself maybe they really looked in depth to your instagram profile.

you: my dad told me to say hi.

You were so confused of whats happening so you asked the user.

you: your dad?

briize532: yeah, your dad and my dad are friends. they met up at sm town for that meeting during ****(the year)

You vividly remember that year because you had gotten into kpop and your parents were going to korea without you because they said they had a meeting to attend to in sm town. You begged to let your parents take you with them but they said no because you had school. You didn't know who they met specifically tho.

you: I remember by dad going there lol

you didnt know what else to say because your dad was still at work for you to ask him a question of whom he was friends with during that year.

briize532: I saw you like riize, who is your bias?

you: my sister made me into riize a few weeks ago but I think eunseok and wonbin are good. who are your biases?

briize532: my bias is anton. what do you think him?

you: imma be real with you i could see why fans like him as well but i didn't appeal to his charm. it seems like a me problem but thats my opinion if you were asking for it

briize532: i see. not everyone has the same taste and they just debuted so they haven't shown everything they've got just yet

you: a riize defender i see

You chuckle while typing that message on you phone.

briize532: what if i told you i was anton

you: you'd be capping

you laughed at his message

briize532: i'll prove it. ill call you on kakaotalk. whats your kakao id?

You raised your eyebrows at his determination so you sent them your kakao id.

You got the friend request and accepted it and in a few moments, the user called you.

"Hey" The person said from the other side of the phone said, just showing his hair.

"I can't see your face." You sad to the phone as he readjusted his camera.

"Can you see me now?" Anton said from the other side of the phone.

"How the fuck is that you? Are you just a recorded live like those omegle videos?" You say in disbelief.

"Nope, it's really me! briize532 on tiktok!" He said with a small tone.

"So let me get this straight... Your producer dad.... knows my dad... and they met each other during ****?!" You said adding 2 and 2 together.

"Yeah" He said from the other side of the phone making you realized what you said about him on tiktok.

"Yo- I am so sorry what I said on the tiktok dms" You said to Anton who has seen your opinion about him.

"It's fine, atleast you listen to our music" He said a bit uncomfortable.

"Did i ruin your ego and everythng? gosh-" You said yapping your heart out your 'sorrys'

"No, my ego isnt ruined at all. You were being honest. It was my fault I asked." He said as defense.

This went on and on until your dad arrived, you showed Anton who was stiil on video call on your phone.

"Hi Anton!" Your dad said casually, still surprised your dad knows his name.

"Hi Uncle ****(your dad's name)" He says from the other side of the call.

"You look so much like your dad now!" Your dad said in reply.

"Thank you!" Anton said politely back to your dad.

[ziekaramaik]

Can You Read My Mind?

(Spoilers for Agatha All Along)

(Word count: about 1500)

William was missing all night. Then all day. And then all night again.

At first he declined my calls. Then the phone just kept ringing. My texts were left unread.

I was totally prepared for something bad to happen to him while we were in a parking garage to meet a stranger from the internet. Except that turned out to be nothing. The guy was a paranoid nut, but harmless. It was after William dropped me off at home and drove away safely that he went missing. I didn't know what to think.

After a full day of worrying, he finally called me back early next morning.

"Are you okay?!" I asked.

"I'm fine," he said, sounding completely exhausted. "Well -- Yeah, I'm -- I'm fine."

"Where have you been? I've been trying to call."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's been a crazy day. And night." He mumbled to himself, "Did all of that happen in just one night? Oh man, what day is it?"

"You've been missing for over twenty-four hours," I explained. "Your parents are probably ten seconds away from calling the police."

"Yes, I'm sorry for scaring them. I'm driving home right now. And… Look, Eddie. Can you do me like a really, really, really huge favor? …Can you please tell my mom and dad that I was with you the whole time?"

"Actually, no. Because they already called me, and I told them I had no idea where you were."

"Oh… Right…"

There was a pause.

"Are we just skipping the part of the conversation where you tell me what happened?" I asked. "You didn't meet that Ralph guy again, did you?"

"No, it wasn't Ralph."

"Then where--"

"Eddie, I do not even know where to begin. I promise I'm okay, but I'm tired. And I really shouldn't be on the phone while driving in the first place. All I wanna do right now is get home, shower, and maybe take a nap. Can we please talk about it later?"

I didn't want to, but I said, "Okay. Later." Then I said, "I love you."

"Me too. Bye." And he hung up.

Only we didn't talk later.

William was grounded. He couldn't use his phone and I couldn't visit him. Or at least, that's the excuse he gave me when I saw him at school. I couldn't shake off the feeling he was lying.

He wouldn't talk to me at school either. Any time I tried, he made some excuse and took off. "Later. Promise." He stopped coming to the GSA too. Not because of his parents, he said he was too busy for it.

Once I caught him on a computer in the school library. Looking over his shoulder, I saw that he was searching news websites. But it wasn't about the Westview incident this time. He was looking up articles from all over the country about people who drowned, or nearly drowned.

When I asked him about it, all he would say was, "I'm trying to find someone." He was frustrated. "They're all dead ends. It probably didn't make the news."

I tried to get him to talk more, but it was about time for next period. He had to go. Again.

Whenever I saw him in the hallways, he gradually looked worse. He had stopped putting effort into his hair and make-up. His black nail polish was old and chipped. Instead of eyeliner he had dark bags under his eyes. I could tell he hadn't been sleeping well.

This went on for a week.

"You're avoiding me," I said. It wasn't a question.

I cornered him at his locker. He looked back at me and said, "I'm not avoiding you, Eddie," in a calm tone that completely contradicted his deer-in-the-headlights expression.

"You really sort of are."

He sighed. Struggled to say something. "I -- I'm sorry. I've just been really distracted lately. I'll explain everything later. I promise."

"You've been promising that all week. Frankly, it's not good enough anymore."

That's when the school bell rang. Everyone around us headed for class.

William looked at me guiltily and said, "I'm really sorry."

He tried to walk away, but I grabbed his sleeve. "Eddie, we're gonna be late for cla--"

"Then we'll be late!" I snapped. "This is important."

He stopped protesting after that. I let go, and even as the hallway nearly emptied, he didn't run off.

"William, be honest with me," I pleaded. "Is this because I told you I love you?"

"What?"

"Because I can't help but notice this radio silence started right after that. I came along with you to meet Crazy Ralph. But then as soon as you don't need me any more, you suddenly want more space." I meant to sound angry. I hated how pathetic and desperate I sounded instead. But I kept going with, "Don't say you love me back just 'cause you don't want to hurt my feelings. If I scared you off, just say so."

Is it wrong that I felt a little bit relieved when I saw how heartbroken William looked?

"No. No, Eddie. It's not like that. I promise." He held both my hands. "I love you too. Seriously, if I could, I would be with you all the time. It's just that I really am busy now."

"Where did you go missing that day?" I asked point-blank.

He looked guilty again. Hesitated. Then he answered point-blank, "I can't tell you."

"What have you been so busy with all week long?"

"I can't explain that either."

The hallway was empty by now, except for us.

"I'm sorry, but that's not good enough," I said. "You go missing for almost two days, scaring the hell out of me and your parents. You're meeting strangers from the internet. You look like you haven't slept through the night in ages. Something is obviously wrong, William. Tell me."

He rubbed his face, exhausted. "Listen. A lot of different things happened. There's a lot that's still going on right now, and every part of it is really difficult to talk about. I know I'm not being fair, but can I please keep this to myself for a while longer?"

"If we love each other, we shouldn't keep secrets. I don't keep any secrets from you."

I shouldn't have said that, I thought guiltily. It's a lie. I'm keeping a huge secret from him.

William furrowed his eyebrows. "That's a lie?!"

I froze. Clearly, my poker face wasn't nearly as good as I thought.

"I'm -- I'm not lying," I said lamely.

He was both angry and confused. "How are you keeping a secret from me? I've never heard any--"

"We're not talking about me," I said defensively. "I get that you're going through an identity crisis. I get that it's complicated, and you think researching all this conspiracy stuff will help. I've been extremely supportive and patient with you -- And a lot of boyfriends wouldn't have."

"Do you think I enjoy keeping this all bottled up?! I don't! It's giving me nightmares, Eddie. I keep seeing their faces and thinking it's my fault--" He caught himself and stopped abruptly. "I want to tell you. I just can't."

"Why? What could possibly be so bad that you can't tell me? Did you kill someone?!"

I said it sarcastically, but William froze.

A second later he pressed his eyes shut and put his hands on his head. "I can't have this conversation right now…"

"Willia--"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

The lights flickered a bit as he yelled that, but I didn't pay attention.

Once the lights returned to normal, I turned on the spot and walked away from him.

"Eddie? Where are you…?"

I didn't answer him. I just walked away.

I didn't know where I was walking to. I was thinking… Actually, I don't remember what I was thinking in that moment… I wasn't thinking much of anything. Except leaving him alone.

"Oh my god," William said. "No, no, no! Snap out of it!"

He ran behind me and grabbed my hand. The moment he touched me, I stopped and blinked. I hadn't even realized how badly I was spacing out, but suddenly I was alert again.

William ran around to face me and grabbed my head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Eddie," he said quickly. "I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, sorry. I didn't mean to do that, I swear." His eyes were watering.

It seemed like a pretty extreme reaction for shouting at me. "I-It's okay," I mumbled.

I grabbed his hands and gently pulled them away from my head. "Are you ready to talk now?" I asked.

He stared at me, still on the verge of tears. His mouth trembled. But after a second, he nodded.

"Yes… You're right, I can't keep this bottled up… Just, can we please not get into it right this second, in the middle of school? Come over to my place this afternoon. I'll tell you everything then."

"All right. When I come over, are you actually gonna be there this time?"

He looked guilty at that, and nodded again. "Yes."

"Okay."

"I'll explain everything today, Eddie. All of it. I promise. For real this time."

[armpirate]

Soundleasure | Choi San || CH. 41

Pairings: Soft!San x fem!reader || Strangers to lovers, fake dating

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, online sex, ghosting

Warnings: inexperienced!San, fem!reader, masturbation, online sex, camboy, first times.

Summary: You can do whatever you please and be whoever you want on the Internet. And San knew that a little bit too well.

After finally following all the signs the universe was throwing at him, he started living a double life that no one was aware of. Everyone in his daily life knew him as Choi San, the reserved and quiet boy who wouldn't raise his voice, and would barely communicate with anyone outside of his comfort group. But only a few knew him as Soundleasure, the man with a sexy voice and a filthy mind that had their toes curling just with his narrations.

He never thought of the possibility of those two lives ever meeting, he had always tried for them to follow a parallel route and had always played safe to keep his friends from ever suspecting that side even existed. But his plans will start to crumble when he gets a little too close with one of his subscribers and she invades his real-self and altergo's universes without being able to stop it.

Y/n will not only help him to keep his secret from his circle, but will also show him there's more of Soundleasure in him than he'd like to admit. 

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 11 minutes

San's eyes fluttered open to a world painted in stark whites and soft blues, the scent of antiseptics filling the air. His head felt heavy, his body oddly light, and the faint, persistent ache in his side quickly reminded him of what had happened.

Blinking to clear his vision, he saw Y/n sitting beside him, her fingers gently weaving through his hair in slow, rhythmic strokes. Her eyes were focused on him, full of worry and warmth, a soft but strained smile appearing as she noticed he was awake.

—Hey —she whispered, her voice barely above a murmur, as though she was afraid any louder might hurt him.

Her smile was cautious, trying to mask how scared she was since he first closed his eyes. Feeling a wave of relief washing over her when his eyes shined as soon as he saw her. San tried to sit up, but the sharp pain in his side made him wince. Y/n's hand immediately moved to his shoulder, urging him to stay down.

—Easy —she said softly—. The doctor said you need to rest, don't force your body.

He let out a shaky breath, resting back against the pillow, his gaze fixed on her face. There were faint traces of exhaustion in her eyes, like she hadn't slept at all. Her other hand held onto his tightly, as if she was afraid he'd vanish if she let go.

—How long have I...? —he managed to ask, his voice hoarse.

—A few days —she brushed a strand of hair from his forehead, her thumb lingering in his skin—. They had to take you into surgery right after the... Well, right after everything. Thank god you were already in the hospital when it happened, otherwise...

Her voice lost power just at the memory of the doctor's words, forcing a smile again so he wouldn't notice how much it affected her.

—They managed to stabilize you, and the surgery went well —she assured him.

San felt a wave of relief wash over him at the sound of her voice, grounding him even as the memories of the incident flashed in his mind.

—Are you okay? —he asked, his eyes searching hers— What happened with her?

—I'm okay —Y/n gave a small nod, but he could see the heaviness she was carrying—. Wooyoung and Jongho managed to reduce her and keep her here the minute the cops took to come. It's finally over —she smiled.

Her thumb moved over his cheekbone, getting him to instantly close his eyes by feeling the tenderness of her touch.

—You saved my life, San —her voice broke slightly.

San tried to smile, reaching up with his free hand to cover hers as she moved her hand a bit upper to run her fingers through his hair.

—I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You know that —he sighed—. It was about time I was what you deserved.

Y/n's hand trembled slightly beneath his. She looked down, biting her lip as she tried to keep her emotions in check.

—You've always been what I deserved —her voice cracked again, and she let out a shaky laugh, brushing away a tear that slipped down her cheek—. You're not allowed to scare me like that again. You can't leave me, in any way.

—I'm not going anywhere —San felt his heart twist, and he tightened the grip on her hand—. Never. I want to be with you forever, Y/n.

For a moment, the only sound was the soft beeping of the machines around them. Y/n leaned down, pressing her forehead gently against his, closing her eyes as though she needed the closeness as much as he did.

—That's great, because I don't know what I'd do without you —she whispered, her voice full of vulnerability.

He could feel the weight of her words, and he knew -he knew how much they'd been through, how hard things had been. But looking up at her now, he felt a renewed determination, a certainty that he would never let anything come between them again.

San moved his hand weakly to her neck, making sure she wouldn't move when he moved his head up to link their lips together. Softly, she pushed him back to the bed, being the one bending over so he wouldn't make any effort while she kissed him slowly and carefully.

—Are we interrupting something? —Mingi asked from the door.

They both smiled against each other's lips when they heard the sound coming from his group of friends, forced to move away from each other just so they could face the teasing they all had prepared for San.

—Tell me when you aren't interrupting something —San rolled his eyes.

—Yeah, that'd actually be a better question —Yeosang patted his back, moving past him to head to the bed—. How are you?

—I was fine, but now I'm seeing the headache coming.

Shortly after, his bed was surrounded by the people he appreciated the most, trying to play around, making an effort to cheer him up. Until a short silence started breaking through their conversation, with the welcome of some shut down laughs.

—By the way —Mingi continued—, I want to apologize. To you two. If I hadn't let Jen get into my life that way...

—Mingi, don't do this —San cut him off.

—It wasn't your fault —Y/n seconded—. She played everyone, she used you. You're a victim as well, not the one to blame.

—It's just... when I met her at that car event, she seemed into me when I approached her —he shrugged—. I'd have never thought she wasn't into me.

—Well, you're missing two things, and three other things to spare —Yunho commented.

—What happened with her? —Hongjoong curiously asked.

—She was arrested for stalking, threats, breaking and entering, and attempted murder —her fingers played with the white sheet that covered San—. And now that I think about it, it all makes sense. She was the one who kept sending in those bouquets, even when they got blocked by security if they came from external services, and the cops confirmed the bouquet she brought me was from the same shop she sent all those notes from. She had access to my apartment keys, because I left my bag here unsupervised when she was in her place. She knew about my illness because she had access to my schedule... I trusted her to that extent, and I didn't think she'd ever use all that trust against me. Out of all the people... —San's grip on her hand became tighter.

—Good thing is that it's over —Seonghwa said.

And both of them agreed with that. It was about time they both could go on with their day without worrying about a text that could or could not come, or thinking about the fact of being targeted constantly without knowing the reason or the person pointing at them. It was a dark chapter, indeed, but it was finally over.

San adjusted his jacket as he stepped out of the car, eyes taking in the warm glow spilling from Y/n's windows. A sense of calm settled over him -something he hadn't felt in months. The hospital stay was finally behind him, and though he'd insisted he didn't need a special welcome, part of him was undeniably curious about the way Y/n had been unusually secretive all day.

She helped him get out, not needing to hear the first grunt coming out of his lips to go to his rescue by surrounding the car.

They both walked together toward the door of the parking lot, with San finding an excuse to pull her closer in a hug when they stepped in the elevator.

—Be careful —she giggled, caressing his side.

—I'm fine —he assured her, kissing her cheeks first—. I'll be able to handle it.

Another giggle escaped her lips when his lips dug through her hair, kissing her jaw to get her to squirm in his arms. Although any advance was stopped with a soft whine, one of his hands leaving her body to hold onto the stitched wound.

—I told you to take it easy —she reproached him.

—I can't help it —he mumbled—. I've been dying to be alone with you.

As much as he appreciated the visits he kept receiving, there wasn't a single time he was able to enjoy Y/n's company by himself. Whenever they were enjoying the peaceful and quiet time, someone broke into his room with a box of chocolates or a huge bouquet of flowers that gave him more than one nightmare. And if it wasn't a visit, it was the doctor or the nurse showing up out of nowhere.

—You'll be alone with me enough time to get sick of me —she assured him—, so let's go step by step.

He stepped through the front door, greeted by the delicate scent of herbs and spices. To his surprise, her bed was moved to the middle of the living room, right where the wide coach was placed.

—Welcome home —she murmured, giving him a soft kiss on his cheek, before she helped him make his way down the two steps in the entrance.

He looked around the place, feeling the familiar warmth of its embrace, feeling confused by how it looked even more welcoming than he remembered.

—You really went all out —he whispered, his voice tinged with awe as he looked over her shoulder.

The dining table was set with neatly folded napkins, a few candles waiting to be lit to cast a gentle glow, and an assortment of his favorite dishes laid out in serving platters. She prepared everything before he went to pick him up, hopeful that his welcome would feel like the warmest embrace.

—Why's the bed there?

—Coming up and down from my room, while you're still in this state, isn't the best of ideas. I called to get the bed moved down and, once you recover, I'll call again to get it back in my room. And about the food... —Y/n pulled back, brushing a hand down his arm—. Our parents will come tonight —she said, a slight smile playing on her lips—. After everything... I thought maybe we could have a chance to start fresh.

Just then, the doorbell rang, startling him. Y/n's expression shifted into an almost mischievous grin, and before he could ask who else was coming, she was at the door, pulling it open.

His parents were standing there, dressed in their best, with soft smiles and warm eyes that hadn't yet shaken their worry from his recent stay in the hospital. Behind them were Y/n's parents, looking equally surprised but visibly touched by the invitation.

His eyes shifted back to Y/n, who shrugged, her smile gentle.

—I thought we could introduce everyone, officially —she said, lacing her fingers through his.

San's chest swelled with a happiness so complete he felt lightheaded. He squeezed her hand, nodding.

—It's more than okay —he replied, guiding her back into his arms for a moment, feeling the soft hum of laughter from their families as they stepped inside.

The dinner unfolded beautifully, with shared stories and light banter, the kind that only family could bring. His mother and Y/n's mother laughed over childhood tales, each adding details to paint fuller, more vivid memories. Their fathers exchanged knowing glances, each sensing their children had found something special, something worth holding on to.

Toward the end of the meal, as plates were cleared and glasses clinked in cheers, Y/n took his hand under the table, her gaze catching his with a smile that held a quiet promise, a deep-rooted happiness.

—Thank you so much —he whispered to her, and she nodded, her fingers tracing gentle circles on the back of his hand.

When the night wrapped up and they were finally alone, Y/n looked up at him, her face soft with the glow of candlelight. San kissed her slowly, taking every chance to taste her as if it had been years since he last got the chance to live that privilege.

San leaned down, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

As they stood together in the quiet of the empty dining room, surrounded by the remnants of the night's laughter and love, they both felt it -the peace of a new beginning, shared together.

Y/n moved her arms up high again, around his shoulders, standing on her tip toes to kiss him again. It was slow, passionate, it was intimate, it revealed all of the secret feelings they didn't know the existence of and those they didn't communicate out loud. They pecked each other's lips one last time before they went back to pick everything up.

After the last of the dishes were washed and the lights dimmed, Y/n and San found themselves alone in the warm silence of her living room -temporarily turned into their new bedroom.

They settled onto the bed, leaning into each other, content in the quietness that now felt like a well-deserved gift. Y/n closed her eyes, her head resting against his shoulder, a small smile tugging at her lips.

San's fingers traced gentle circles on her hand, grounding them both in this fleeting but perfect moment.

—Every time I think of how all of this started, I realize how surrealistic it was.

Y/n looked up at him, her gaze soft but steady.

—Who would've told us it'd end this way —she giggled, rubbing her cheeks against his shoulder—. Thank god it happened though. These months have been the happiest of my life.

He took her words in, savoring them as he leaned down, brushing a soft kiss against her forehead, a simple promise wrapped in that gentle touch.

As they sat there in the cocoon of the dimly lit room, Y/n took a breath, finally feeling the weight of the past lift from her shoulders. There, in the safety of his arms, was something more than healing -it was the continuity of their relationship, one they'd forged through trust, forgiveness, and resilience, one they fought to stay as it was.

They stayed that way until sleep began to claim them, wrapped in each other's warmth. With the first falling out of the two of them being San, finally being hit with the exhaustion he had been dragging since he was first hospitalized. And she smiled at that, ever feeling so grateful for him that she thought she was dreaming still, convinced that no matter what challenges lay ahead, they were ready to face them, together.

Taglist: @brown88

[cariadlovescodwomen]

listen, i get it, i really do, i get that there is a lot more male characters in the game to obsess over, buy could ya please acknowledge the women? pretty please?

i’m scared of annoying people with repeating myself so much, but this is my blog??? 😭 i’ll post about this as much as i want, lmfao

i love them so much that it’s killing me, or the lack of content for them is

re-reading the same four headcanons, two fanfics, non-stop checking one blog over and over again

i’m happy for ghost/soap/price/könig stans… i am not at all envious… not at all… (but why do some of you guys exclude gaz from 141 stuff??)

i’m fed when it comes to valeria, thankfully, but that’s about it (any cod writers that write for valeria, kate, and farah, i love you so much, but i’m way too scared to ever make an ask, even anonymously)

(does anyone else’s social anxiety extend to the internet?? i find posting these things incredibly nerve-racking, i could never ask a STRANGER ON THE INTERNET to maybe write something for me)

[transfemme-shelterdog]

CW: exorsexism, transandrophobia, slurs, brief un detailed mentions and hints to SA, mentions of sex

This is going to be a VERY long anon, i apologize a thousand times, I am very long spoken and wrote about things ive experienced in the last decade of being trans. If anyone is going to respond to this please do so with compassion, not just towards me but to the people I mention, particularly my gfs. Im going to write about some very unhappy moments and i wont be accounting all the very happy moments I shared with these people. I want the take away from this to be “we should do something about the rampant transandrophobia and exorsexism in the community” and not “wow you sound unhappy, break up with ur gf”. Please be kind:

Im very hesitant to send in a transandrophobia/anti transmasc testimony for a couple of reasons. Ive sent someone else some anons about some of my situations before and it resulted in that person receiving more anons directed towards ME shaming me for venting about my trans girlfriend online; as well as some people saying rlly terrible things about my gf and telling me to break up with her and what not. In order to send a full testimony Im going to have to discuss some of those things my gf has said/done to me and im scared to do that because Im scared of what people will say again, Im fully aware of how shitty some of her actions have been but I am only talking about specific instances of our relationship, I wont be writing a novel about the rest of our relationship and how good it is otherwise just to convince strangers on the internet that maybe telling me to “kill” my gf is not a nice thing to say to someone.

Anyways, I wanna start at maybe a decade ago- when I first came out. I had heard about trans people before, and I even knew a few youtubers, but they were all trans women so i guess nothing really clicked for me. It wasnt until freshman year of high school, when I physically saw with my own two eyes that one of my classmates was a feminine trans man and it changed my life. About a week later I decided I was also a trans man and coincidentally my best friend AND my sibling also came out as trans. The next 4 years of high school I used a different name and he/him pronouns among my closest friends. Me and my sibling were (surprisingly) allowed to have autonomy over our hair for the first times in our lives and we both got the ftm pixie cut special lmaoo. My sibling got caught w his online gf by my dad and basically was forced to out himself- he tried telling our dad that he was pansexual and genderfluid (now he IDs as transmasc- not fluid anymore) and for the next 2-3 years i had to listen to my dad make fun of and ridicule those identities and go on long anti trans bathroom rants.

I had a few gfs in high school, when my transness wasnt acknowledged, I was known as “the ugly dyke” that was man hating and annoying. When my transness WAS acknowledged, I had boys harassing my gfs telling them Id never be a real man and that shes going to be disappointed with my “future mutilated penis” and that it would never be as good as “the real thing” (mind you I had never and still have never considered phalloplasty). I remember only really being openly trans on the internet and getting sent horrible shit from strangers- one thing that really stands out was when I was bombarded by a gaggle of cis men calling me a tranny and making assumptions about my body and voice- mind you I was only about 14-15 at the time.

I had that stupid ftm pixie cut for only the first 2 years of high school; i was a scrawny kid and a late bloomer in terms of puberty, Im also latino and very short- I wasnt passing as a boy- I was passing as a really off putting ugly brown girl, and I struggled to make friends. After sophomore year I started letting my hair grow, and my transness became more and more secret, I made friends with girls and crushed on them but kept everything about me a secret- scared that they would reject me and treat me like some mutant monster if they knew the truth. I started talking to boys and sometimes getting their attention. The last 2 years of high school is about when Kalvin Garrah and transmedicalism rose to fame, there was A LOT of sentiments going around about how if you were feminine then you couldnt possibly be a trans man- it all really started to confused me. So i kept trying to fit in with the girls, still using a different name and pronouns with my closest friends- but on the outside i was indistinguishable from a girl. I got braces, hit puberty and grew my hair out. Then I really started getting attention from boys. I did a lot of things i regret- touched people i didnt want to touch and let them touch me where I didnt want to be touched.

I watched how people, especially my peers, reacted to and treated trans people. The transmascs in my classrooms were endlessly mocked and made fun of, seen as ugly dykes and their gender was never respected. I was scared. And confused. The following bit of my life is very complex- and kind of specific- im not gonna go into too many details because I want to remain anonymous, but long story short: the rise of transmedicalism, the transphobia I experienced, and the sense of normalcy I gained from “being a girl” led me to socially detransition, I was still questioning whether I might not be cis but after I ended up essentially running away from my dad, i was basically couch surfing for places to live, and being a girl who could attract men made that so much easier. Men offered me places to live in exchange for… well… me. I ended up an 18 year old girl with a 38 year old boyfriend for over a year (there was 2 other bfs - and with each one i went through some really horrible life shaping trauma- but im not gonna go into that bc it doesn’t rlly have anything to do w me being trans and this anon is already a novel).

Eventually, while still living w one of these men; i met my primary gf, who was still “a boy” at the time. I honestly found her annoying at first cause she was just another annoying guy i worked with that would flirt with me relentlessly; but after we talked about some shared interests, and ESPECIALLY after she dropped me a hint that she was actually a woman - she reeaaally piqued my interest. Eventually we got together, and i came out as a lesbian, and she came out as a woman. She told me she wouldnt have started transitioning if it werent for my support. She told me that i made her feel safe and comfortable enough express her femininity (Which made me feel rlly good) but i remember sometimes feeling like I couldnt express too much of my own femininity and that i was getting pushed into more masculine roles in order to give her the experience of being “the girl” of the relationship.

She had a small circle of trans friends- I opened up to all of them about how I used to be a trans man in high school and how my best friend and my brother was trans, so I was regarded as somewhat a part of the community but I remember wanting to join in on conversations about being trans and holding myself back because “wait.. im not trans…” Eventually, after I was given a gender neutral nickname, I tried coming out to them all as nonbinary. I was still figuring it out myself- everything I had ever heard about nonbinary/genderfluid/etc people up until that point was just cis and trans people alike belittling them and making fun of those identities- so it was very new and scary and i was very hesitant to test those waters. My gf and her friends only somewhat acknowledged my enby identity, but continued to use my legal name and she/her pronouns.

Eventually, those anti trans/lgbt bills started rolling out if every state, especially ours. My gf woke up one day to me sobbing about how scared I was for our future- especially her future- the beginning of her transition was hard enough already and now our state wanted us to use certain bathrooms and possibly ban HRT. So we made the decision to move. It wasnt until the day we were driving to our new state where she was cracking jokes about being put in a camp for using she/her pronouns- that i decided to be bold and try to assert my identity. I tried cracking back an attempt at a comforting joke: “dont worry, ill be in here with you- for using any pronouns :)” She looked at me, and rolled her eyes: “tch, dont start with that shit.”

It fucking broke me. It still kinda breaks me now as im reminiscing and writing about it. This was maybe almost two years ago now? This is probably the worst most hurtful thing shes ever said to me- which is strange because weve had arguments where we cussed and yelled at eachother- but this one moment; I cant recall ever feeling THAT broken again. After a brief pause she immediately apologized, said something like “im sorry that was mean, that was my dad talking, dont listen to me” But the damage had been done. In my mind- in her eyes- my gender was a joke, something to be belittled, something not to be taken seriously. It hurt so bad because it had taken me so long to figure this out for myself, and it took so much courage to even crack that fucking joke about using different pronouns for me,all the while she had been telling me she wouldve never found the courage to transition without me just for her turn around and completely invalidate me when I was trying to come out to her- it fucking stung!

“Don’t start with that shit” i think those words might have physically torn my heart a little, i remember literally feeling the pain. I dont remember if it was that night or the next night, but we ended up discussing it, maybe even arguing?? I cant remember it clearly anymore but I know somehow I ended up SOBBING on the bed while she tried comforting me, like the most uncontrollable snot-blubbering sob session youve ever seen. She apologized so many times and she truly seemed remorseful, told me she couldn’t believe shed made me feel so lost and unsupported. I forgave her, and i cant remember if it was that same night or a different argument entirely where she called me by my birth name and i smacked myself so hard in the head that she finally got the message that I didnt want to be called that anymore. I started exclusively using they/them after that.

The following year had its ups and downs, we lived in a house full of other trans and enby people, it was a very special time in my life. I started presenting more androgynously and proudly wore my they/them pin and nonbinary earrings everyday to work. I was lucky enough to work in a queer environment and i had several trans coworkers, however all of my customers, all of my cis coworkers, and even most of my trans coworkers, would CONSTANTLY/always misgender me.

Ever since I was a little ftm in highschool I struggled as seeing myself as masculine- I wasnt feminine like the other girls either, and i definitely felt like an imposter among girls, but I certainly didnt feel like a “man”, and ive never felt particularly masculine. Ive always wanted to be in on “boy” things and “be one of the boys” but stereotypically masculine things didnt really interest me. When I initially came out as enby thats all i wanted to be, just an adrogynous person who does their own thing. But the CONSTANT misgendering from everyone INCLUDING my gf (WHO STILL SOMETIMES SLIPS UP MY PRONOUNS TO THIS DAY!!!!) and even some of my trans roommates made SUUUPPERR dysphoric. I started presenting exclusively masculinely, i had breakdowns about my voice and body until I couldnt take it anymore and basically emergency started HRT.

After starting T, i started identifying as transmasc, not necessarily because my gender felt “masculine-aligned” at the time, and moreso because from a medical standpoint I am transmasculine. I am on masculinizing hormone therapy, I plan on getting top surgery, and Ive considered meta bottom surgery- therefore physically i am transitioning to become more “masculine” in a sense, thus I am transmasc. I was presenting exclusively masculine to make up for my dysphoria, but told myself once the T started kicking in and my voice started dropping and i could see the results, that I would allow myself to feel comfortable expressing my femininity again. It has now been a little over a year since I started HRT, and I still have not allowed myself to present femininely save for a few nights out a bar or kink event (ill get into that in a sec).

Ever since I started T, no matter how many times (which has been a lot of times) Ive reiterated that I am genderfluid, that I have a masculine and a feminine gender, and that I am NOT a man and NEVER wanted to be one, my gf (and literally any person on the internet- queer or not) pretty much just regards me as a trans man. Even tho I am not one. My girlfriend constantly uses he/him/sir/daddy/etc for me. Ive asked her why she does that and even told her im uncomfortable being referred to as “daddy”, and she just says “its easier” (esp within the context of talking to cishet people- she refers to me as her “husband” and only uses mostly he/him instead of they… the cishet people see me and call me “maam” and she/her) and continues calling me whatever she wants.

Ever since I started T she pretty much exclusively wants to bottom when we have sex(were both bottom leaning switches). I practically have to have a breakdown to get her to top me- and even then I feel uncomfortable and i cant enjoy the sex until i flip her over and top her because i feel like im forcing her to do something she doesnt want to do. We are polyamorous and sometimes she tries to hook up with other men, and anytime a man hits her up wanting to bottom, she goes on a semi homophobic rant about why on earth would she want to top a man, and then she says not so nice things about their bodies. And then i point out that she kinda sees me as man and that i like to bottom, and then she tells me that i dont count because im not actually a man, and that when she talks about mens ugly bodies theyre not comparable to mine. She says all this while continuing to never top me.

Theres a lot of other things shes done since I started T, lots of jokes about how Im supposed to do certain things because im “the boy” and shes the girl. Im supposed to pay, im supposed to fuck(top), im supposed to drive, im supposed to kill spiders and wasps and other big scary bugs (we live out in the woods now- lots of big scary bugs) etc etc. She makes jokes about how “faggy” i am for a boy, she “jokingly” calls me a faggot when I express wanting to bottom/submit, she makes fun of other men AND me for “cross dressing” and just doesnt respond when i tell her im not a man or says “yeah i know im just joking”

Sometimes (very rarely) we go out to bars and events and these are some of the only times were I allow myself to be feminine. There is a queer kink event that gets hosted a few cities over, weve only been to this event 3 times. The first time- i presented masculine, chest taped and exposed, i was one of only 3 masculine presenting people there. Nobody talked to me that night, I was avoided like the plague. The second time I tried being more androgynous, tried wearing some makeup and girly clothes, but kept my hair short and curly and i kept my mustache. Some people actually talked to me this time. My gf and I met a very beautiful trans girl, we all got pretty fucked up and started touching on eachother, the 3 of us left to go have a threesome. The “threesome” was basically me getting cucked as that girl fucked my gf ON TOP of me and then they went to bed and I cried myself to sleep. Ever since I started T and presenting masculinely i feel SO undesirable and unwanted. I was joining those events hoping id find someone whod desire me and want to fuck me and instead got cucked and watched my gf get fucked instead. (Dw my gf acknowledged how weird that whole situation was and we pray we dont ever see that girl again lmaoo) We went to one more event. I straightened my hair, shaved my mustache, put on makeup, and put on some girly lingerie- i was indistinguishable from a girl.

My gf saw me, and her eyes lit up. She was looking at me in a way I havent seen at her look at me in so long. Hungry eyes. Desire. She thinks im beautiful and desirable and sexy as a girl. She made comments about wanting to fuck me all night. We went to the event, so many people talked to me, so many people danced with me, so many people kissed me and grinded on me. So many people desired me. I was a pretty girl that night and everyone liked me. We went home and my gf fucked me. I think about that night a lot, and about the first night when everyone avoided me; and i get real sad. Were planning on going to the event again, but I feel like I can only show up as a femme, otherwise no one will talk to me or care about me.

I have an additional gf now, she is also trans :) and shes a top, but we dont live together and our schedules are packed so i hardly get to see her. I love both of my gfs, but both of them have said things that made me feel… not so respected I guess?? Or like maybe my feelings arent being considered?? As far as my secondary gf goes, shes cracked a few jokes about “theyfabs” that made me uncomfortable… as someone who was afab and uses they/them.. her bestfriend is also literally a fem enby she/they afab person so im like… why would you post these jokes when two of the people closest to you could be considered “theyfabs”?? We also had a discussion where she admitted she thought it was weird for trans men and non binary(afab) people to say the word “tranny”. Though ive said it like once or twice infront of her and it didnt seem to bother her. Those are the only things my secondary gf has done to make me uncomfortable and I havent really spoken up much about them cause I guess im scared of having those conversations and somehow getting hurt/made even more uncomfortable.

My primary gf has also cracked at least one joke about “theyfabs” and has said stuff along the lines of “transmasc have it easier than transfems” (mostly in reference to our transitions but also in terms of oppresion). Which is strange that she thinks transmascs pass way easier than transfems because she passes 8/10 times and I pass 0/10 times. Im pretty sure she ALSO said something about only transfems are referred to as trannies and then i had to remind her about the whole “tranny” voice trend and how many times I’ve personally been called that word.

About a month or two ago…(this is the situation I had sent someone else an anon over and then got told simultaneously to kill my gf and that i was an asshole for complaining about my trans gf publicly).. even though i hardly get topped, i worked up the courage to ask my gf to top me anally while I wore my strap, for the gender euphoria of getting fucked “like a man” while having a penis. She said “I feel like yall are just culturally appropriating transfems now”…. I was GOBSMACKED… i muttered something about gay men and she goes “oh yeah i forget men exist haha” (kinda unrelated but it feels worth mentioning that several times she has admitted to me that she completely forgets that trans men exist… even though she kinda sees me as one and several of our friends are trans men) needless to say, i did not get fucked while wearing the strap, and i dont know if ill ever work up the courage to ask someone to do that for me again.

This ask is already way too fucking long and i need to wrap this up but not included in the above stories are the countless times online where binary trans men and women have been racist to me while telling me why transandrophobia isn’t real and why i shouldn’t be invading lesbian and women spaces and that im a trans misogynist for being uncomfortable about the word “theyfab” etc etc/other common things transandrophobes like to say.

So. Yeah.

TLDR; my trans gfs, a lot of my trans friends, and a lot queer spaces have an aversion to masculinity and tend to be pretty exorsexist; and I feel like im only treated with respect as well as only ever desired when i present feminine. In trans spaces I am told im not trans for being enby, in lesbian spaces im told im not lesbian for being transmasc, and in transfeminist spaces im either a ftm who has privilege over transfems and im inherently trans misogynistic or im a cis woman “theyfab” who wants to feel special and is also inherently transmisogynistic.

.

[haoboutyou]

idk if ur reqs are open rn but i was thinking maybe.. a titanic au with mingyu? hehe.. i love angst. honestly it's up to you to twiddle around with the plot but mingyu as jack dawson.. my mouth is watering rn BUT LIKE HE DOESN'T DIE YK AAAA what am i doing

I’m genuinely sorry this is now a headcanon fic. I cannot for the life of me string this into a coherent story. also real sorry 1) it's not angst 2) it took so long :'))

divider credit

right so

this is a strangers 2 lovers type beat

also modern-day cruise so it passes all the safety checks (no dying here)

oh gyu is on the boat with hao because they’re on a cruise with a friend group and y/n’s on the cruise with her family

gyu’s just like “Ugh why cruise? there’s no internet or whatever. with the same amount of money, I could’ve gone to Italy.”

y/n’s like “Omg cruise!!! I love young Leonardo Dicaprio!!!”

they bump into each other at like the swimming pool deck and y/n’s like “Why are you so grumpy? It’s a cruise!"

and he’s like “It’s a cruise. you’re stuck on a ship miles away from land. Have you seen the Titanic?? we can drown and die!!!!”

to which y/n’s like “Bro I fucking love the Titanic. I want to do all the Titanic things minus the r21 parts and the dying parts.”

he’s like “Recreating Titanic? I guess that’s not so bad. Do you need some help?” and y/n’s all “omg please I don’t want to recreate them with my family members”

titanic is where “you jump, I jump” came from right? cause I can totally imagine y/n and mingyu doing this at the cruise’s pool just before they dive in

“If you jump, I’m gonna have to jump in after you.”

mingyu is saying this to y/n because they’re on the diving board and y/n is too scared to jump, so he brings up that line.

y/n’s surprised he knows the exact lines “I thought you said the Titanic was stupid” “Well, Leonardo Dicaprio was hot” and with that, she manages to steel herself for the jump and goes “Well, if you jump then I’ll jump, right?” and then they jump together

(meanwhile, hao's watching on the sidelines like "... that is not how the movie goes but okay" hao is waiting for his turn to jump behind them)

They hear that there’s a caricature artist on board and mingyu’s like “I can’t draw very well, but we can pay this guy to draw us?” “neat. a souvenir!” (they go up to him and mingyu’s flabbergasted that it’s hao because remember: he doesn’t actually work there; he’s also a passenger, but he’s so bored out of his mind that he started drawing and people were noticing that he was drawing and going up to him like “omg artist?? can you draw us????” so he’s like hmm sure ig more money for me)

(i know it's dumb but hao was just this random character that keeps popping up no matter what they do. breakfast? he happens to be sitting at the table they pick. pool? he happens to be tanning there when they stroll past and she almost trips into the pool. drawing? he's the artist. photos? he might as well.)

yes so they do the whole “king of the world!!” and they’re getting another kind passenger to take a picture of them (not hao). he still has an arm around her waist when she takes back the phone from the passenger and the passenger goes “oh to be young and in love again. you guys are such a cute couple!” y/n’s cheeks are red and it’s not because she forgot to reapply sunscreen

he leans over y/n’s shoulder to peek at the phone. “can i see?” y/n is suddenly hyper aware of his close proximity and she’s gone super still as he’s scrolling through the photos.

and then he selects all the photos he likes and airdrops them to himself

mingyu: "do you know what else jack and rose did while they were at the top deck? "

y/n, whispering, well aware that jack took rose’s first kiss (idk that’s what wiki said): "i don’t remember all of a sudden" 

mingyu, leaning in: they kissed

ok so there’s a bar on the ship and hao’s asking gyu to come because “bro the cruise is gonna end (it literally just started) and you still haven’t gotten your money’s worth of booze” so gyu naturally invites y/n. she’s skeptical at first but he goes “didn’t (jack and rose) go dancing too?” she relents and so she goes with him and gyu is just STARSTRUCK at how pretty y/n is even at day ?? of being out at sea

when mingyu and y/n disembark from the ship after the week was over, and mingyu realises that for all the time they spent together they did not exchange numbers At All so he RUNS. the hug when they found each other is so cute. like, it's peak romance. 

i want that.

[surfinminho]

Kinktober day 31- corruption w/ minho

⤷ warnings: sub!Minho, unrealistic circumstances, past trauma(?), innocent minho, chan is mentioned, wounds, handjob, cum eating

⤷ word count: 1,2k

⤷Taglist : @greysweaters-blog @hannie-bees @ashydoinwhat @chansbabygirlsstuff @hiddlestandom @stanskzsstuff @mal-lunar-28 @leeracha @linos-kitten @bonateukna @ihrtlix @conwunder @jazzyluuv

⤷ permanent taglist: @iadorethemskz @iluvseungie

*sorry this was so late, but this concludes Kinktober 2023!!*

*please dm me if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.*

You had friends, friends come and go. It's a cycle. But when you meet minho you felt as if everything changed.

You met him in the spur of the moment, you were walking home from a late night class. The trains running too late for your liking so you decided to walk home. You passed an alley way and heard crying, maybe you were stupid for checking but curiosity got the cat. You had the police on speed dial, street lights illuminating the empty streets.

You were really second guessing this, praying you weren't going to get kidnapped or something.

What you saw surely stunned you. A male sitting with his head inbetween his knees, there was visible bruises aligning his arms some fresh and bleeding while some were old and turning yellow.

You slowly creeped over, trying not to startle the boy.

"Hello?" You put your phone flashlight on, keeping a safe distance between you and the stranger.

He looked up, eyes red and glossy. He was shaking and looked like he couldn't trust anyone.

"Hi, I'm here to help you, okay?" You crouch down, touching his arm, but you heard a yelp come out of his lips.

"Help?" His voice wasn't that loud, hiccups interrupting the silence.

"Do you want me to call the police?" You didn't expect thay reaction, someone in this situation would be adamant to get help but he isn't.

"N-no thank you"

"You're bleeding sir, you need help" you were conflicted, you wanted to call someone to help him but you didn't want to scare him off.

You sighed, rubbing your temples before getting up.

"Get up" holding out your hand for him to grab.

"Where are we going?" Surprisingly he takes your hand, feet wobbling.

"My place."

When you got to your apartment, you brung him to the bathroom telling him to wait there.

You stepped out to call your friend.

"Chan? Are you busy?"

"No? Why"

"Okay I did something, but you can't get mad" you were speaking fast, heart beating.

"Can't make a promise, go on"

"I was walking home and this kid, no older than you I hope all bruised up so I kinda took him home but I have no clothes for men so I was wondering if you could come over and help me?" It felt good to get that off your chest.

"It's always you, I'll be over in 10"

"Thank you channie, I owe you"

You heard him mumble something along the lines of sure before he hung up.

You walked back over to the bathroom, checking up on the stranger.

"Can you sit on the sink? Your wounds look nasty." He gave you a nod, looking down.

"Can you tell me what happened to you?" You got some rubbing alcohol and bandages, some miscellaneous things as well to clean his cuts.

You were listening intently suddenly feeling bad for the boy. He ran away from wherever he was, explaining how he didn't have much freedom even as an adult.

"And— shit," he winced, eyes shutting.

"Sorry sorry" you put the bandaid on, moving to another spot.

"My mother I guess didn't want me to leave, I was kinda homeschooled. I didn't have Internet access, I don't have much knowledge on things" he went quiet talking about his family, you could tell he was skipping parts of the story.

Your phone rang, caller id reading "chan". You pick up, telling him the door is open, once again telling minho to stay put.

"You don't think sometimes you know." He shakes his head handing you some clothes.

"You're a live saver, thanks" sometimes, you didn't know what you would do without him.

"Where is he?"

"In the bathroom, I was cleaning his wounds." you say, walking back towards your bathroom door.

Chan tells you he's gonna chill on the couch as you finish with the boy. You didn't mind the extra company anyway.

"I'm coming back in" you warn, before pushing the door open.

"Here's some clothes— it's pretty late I think you should just change for now" you look down. Was he always this cute? You shouldn't be thinking like this, he's in pain and probably scared. You snap out of your thoughts when he mutters a thank you hopping off the counter.

"When your done, I guess you can sleep in my bed with me? If you don't mind if course"

"Only if you're okay with it" he spoke as if something was chasing him, almost how he sounded earlier that night.

"Then it's settled" you open the bathroom door, leaving him to change his clothing.

You walk into your living room once more to see chan slouching on his phone

"He's cute."

It doesn't take long for chan to leave or for you guys to end up in a bed together. Your bed is big enough for two people to fit so it isn't so uncomfortable.

You heard him wince when he lied down, curling into himself before breathing out.

You couldn't help but feel for the boy, ending up in the middle of nowhere and now sleeping in some strangers bed. Though, you decided to sleep on it before moving forward.

You were awoken from cries coming from your left, you checked the time 2:34 am. Minho didn't tell you about another wound earlier? So you wondered what it was.

You turned your body to face his but all you saw was his back. Nonetheless, you tapped his shoulder before whispering.

"Is everything okay?" he jumped, moving his hands over his eyes to wipe them off before turning over to you. He went silent again, looking at you before looking down.

"You need to communicate with me Minho, a conversation works two ways" you sat up, leaning over your bedside table to hand him a glass of water.

"It hurts" is all he said, you couldn't see much but you could see the red tint of his cheeks due to the moonlight.

"What hurts min?" You didn't expect him to shake his head. Confused on why he wouldn't tell you.

"No? Come on I'll help you" he hoped you didn't see him tighten the hold of the blanket.

You sighed, grabbing the end of the cover.

"I'm gonna take it off okay?" He couldn't even get a word in, you quickly took the cover off.

"N-no!" You were surprised honestly, you didn't expect to see him popping a boner after dark.

"That hurts minho?" He probably woke up with it, of course it'll hurt.

He silently responds, nodding his head.

"We can fix that, if you trust me of course" smiling to yourself, you sit in front of him hands in his sight.

"I trust you."

It happened fast, soon after your hand was down his pants rubbing him slowly.

"Remember what you were dreaming about?" You question, maybe it was just 'morning wood' or whatever men call it.

"I- I can't tell you" he brung his hand up to his mouth, biting down on it.

"You seriously don't know why you woke up like this?"

"I-I don't! I mean, it never hurt this bad." You knew he was about to cum, he twitching in your hand.

"I feel- im-" he was cut off by his own moan, thighs tensing up and his eyes were tearing up, droplets dripping down his cheeks.

You removed your hand from his pants, sticking them in his mouth.

"Suck baby"

[zoobie-doobie]

so my mother and her friend went to jaipur for some literature event , so i have this habit of calling her before i sleep so as usual i called her ,she didnt pick up.,i called again…for 10-20 times.

Then i called her friends daughter and asked her mothers number,i called her..she didn’t pick up either…i told the daughter then we both started freaking out which was a pretty obvious thing to do bec if im calling you 20 times you can at least pick up the call to lmk you’re doing sth

Then i tried calling the hotel their number was switched off,so my boyf searched all over the internet and sent me 5-7 numbers,called all of them each one was switched off or not available. But one kind man picked up and told us to wait as he will send hotel ka number. So the hotel directly called my boyfriend (bec he talked to the man bec i felt uncomfortable talking to him bec it felt like he was drunk) and then he told him all bout ky situation then forwarded me the hotel ka number that called him, so i called them and told them to check whats up with my mother and her friend bec their daughters are FREAKING THE FUCK OUT HELLO

Then he checked and said one of em checked out ,see thats not possible bec they’re staying in the same room so i told him to check my mothers then he got it, i asked him to please go to her room and check where is she and whats up with her (mind you i wasted my precious 1 hour over this instead of studying my ass off for my finals) then her friend opened up and taljed to me , i told her to give to muma and TURNS OUT THEY WERE SLEEPING WITH THEIR PHONES ON SILENT THAT TOO IN JAIPUR WHERE THEY ARE ALL ALONE ALONGWITH SOME 20-25 STRANGERS AND THEIR HOTEL IS IN A FUCKING JUNGLE, NOW IS THIS A SENSIBLE THING TO DO?? TO KEEP YOUR PHONE SILENT WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING????

I just started shouting at muma bec i was so hurt and scared, you have no idea the amount of things i thought, i mean yeah youd think this is overreacting but not for me bec my mother always picks up my call no matter the time.

Heh so anyway they were sleeping. Not getting my one hour back bec SOME PEOPLE KEEP THEIR FUCKING PHONES ON SILENT WHILE SLEEPING WHILE THEIR DAUGHTERS ARE IN TWO DIFFERENT STATES AWAY FROM THEIR STUDYING THEIR ASSES OFF.

[i-need-some-advice-on]

Hello and welcome to “I need some advice on”!

I created this blog for those of us who use the internet and want to get some advice on something going on but it doesn’t warrant an “am I the asshole” submission because sometimes you want some advice from strangers on the internet!

*DISCLAIMER* THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR LEGAL ADVICE. ESPECIALLY FOR PEOPLE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. IF YOU NEED LEGAL ADVICE TALK TO A LAWYER OR A TRUSTED CONFIDANT NOT A COHORT OF TUMBLR USERS.

Rules:

1) feel free to submit anonymously! However I do hold the right to not post your questions if I deem them inappropriate. If you spam the inbox you will be blocked.

2) PLEASE do not censor your words. This is the die fuck bitch cunt dick website. If someone has a word or a tag censored, the only way it remains hidden from their blog is if the word itself has appeared in full. So stop censoring!!

3) please keep it civil and if you are arguing with someone in the comments, take it to the DMs

4) if you are OP and are looking to add some additional information, make a sideblog and reblog with the information needed and DM me to let me know there is some additional info! Don’t DM me the additional info

5) I will be deleting any submission requesting advice on how to harm yourself or another person. If you are thinking of self harming, please look here and not to this inbox. There is never any reason to hurt yourself. You will get through this I promise, but asking strangers on the internet how to best self harm or the fastest way to end your life means that you need more help than this blog can provide. You are loved, and you will be okay. Life is worth living. I promise.

6) Please remember: I run this blog for free. I do not get paid to do this. I have a full time job and relationships outside of this. If your submission isn’t posted the same day it is likely in the queue. I do my best to keep up on the submissions I am, however, human. Please don’t message me asking where it is. I will make a post if I deem your ask inappropriate or unwarranted for this blog.

7) Again, this is not a legal advice blog! If you are in a dangerous or challenging legal situation speak to a trusted confidant in your life (parent, friend, sibling, lawyer, neighbor, etc.) if you cannot speak to someone, a great starting place is Lawyers Without Boarders. You can also search for pro-bono, or free legal consultation services in your area.

8) One additional note since this is something that has come up a lot lately but, this is not a medical advice blog! I understand how inaccessible healthcare is around the world but please understand that medicine is extremely different across countries and cultures. Asking the void of the internet for medical advice is dangerous and can cause you harm.

Remember, this is the internet. We are all strangers here just trying to help one another out with semi embarrassing things we’re scared to ask people around us but there are lines that I as the moderator refuse to cross.

One extra note: I am just one person running this blog and I have a pretty busy life and sometimes will go a few days without checking tumblr. I do my best to get stuff queued as soon as possible but life does get away from me sometimes.

If you have any questions about these rules, please feel free to DM me, my DMs are open.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

TW addiction. I relapsed. And I feel so much better even though I know this is bad for me. And that makes me feel guilty. And I'm really going to get clean, I AM, but it's so much harder than I realized, and the only person I can talk to about this is my therapist, and I just. Feel like such a mess. And I don't know how to feel. How I'm going to go through withdrawal again. How I'm not going to use again. It's really scary.

of course it is, sweetheart. if addiction was simple or easy to deal with, it would never ruin anyone's life.

this is a big scary monster you're wrestling with, so of course you're scared, of course you're going to get beat up in the fight, of course you're going to lose some rounds. it wouldn't be an addiction otherwise, would it?

but you're trying. you're fighting, and that matters so much. figuring out how to get back up after you've fallen down is every bit as important as figuring out how to win. you're not going to get out of this without a black eye or two (or ten), but that doesn't mean you've lost. this was never going to be a bloodless fight.

i really appreciate that you trusted me enough to come to me with this, hon, but i do want to be totally clear - i have no qualifications to actually guide you, here. i have no psychology training and i don't have any personal experience with addiction, so i'm probably just not the best one to give you advice. but i'd like to give you my addiction tag and my relapse tag, as those might offer some practical tips and some encouragement from people who've been where you are.

also, i'm really really proud of you for going to therapy and working with a professional on this - that in of itself is a huge achievement, i promise you. but i do want to ask you to reconsider talking about this to at least one other person in your life, because i do know that support networks are crucial when you're trying to overcome addiction.

i know that the shame and misery makes that sound unbearable, that you desperately don't want anyone to know, but i hope there's a decent person in your life who genuinely loves you and wants to see you happy, even if that means getting their hands a little dirty. you deserve support in this, i promise.

even if the answer's no, just think about it, okay? i'm a stranger on the internet who doesn't even know your name, and i don't think less of you for struggling with this. you are not unlovable in addiction, i promise.

please take care of yourself, darling. you have a long way to go, but you're going to wipe the blood from your nose and stand back up, and it's going to matter.

[ikamigami]

Idk if it'll mean anything coming from me, especially since I'm anonymously sending this, but I followed your blog for a while and I noticed recently that your mental health has begun to spiral the more you interact with the TSAMS fandom.

You might get mad or feel attacked, but I'm saying this out of concern, even if I'm a fellow internet stranger. I see you taking criticisms other people have for the show and interpreting it as a personal attack against you. Yes, this show is important, especially to you, it seems. I know what it feels like to be attached to a character you deeply connect with and get frustrated when their issues are overlooked or not treated seriously. But at the end of the day, it is a show.

I'm not your parent, so it's not like I can control what you do, but the tsams-confessions blog only seems to make you even more upset. I think you should take a step back from everything, block that blog for your own mental health, and allow yourself a moment to breathe. I'm not saying to stop watching tsams, but maybe unfollow the tags on tumblr (I know I had to for my own sake lol) and just enjoy the show alone and with your friends. That's my suggestion

Again, I am sending this out of concern. It doesn't seem like you're enjoying the show anymore, it's only causing you increase distress, especially the more you interact with the fandom. I hope if you do take my advice, you'll be able to return to the fandom space if you wish to do so after some time with a clearer head and be able to enjoy things again. I know you struggle a lot with mental health, and it's likely you don't see what is happening to you.

Take care of yourself. I don't know you, you're just words on my screen, but I still worry for you and hope to see you happy <3

Thank you so much for this beautiful message, dear anon 💗

You're absolutely right that I should distance myself from sams fandom. It helped a lot when I distanced myself from mha (my hero academia) fandom.

I'm taking others' criticism as personal attack mainly because of my paranoia. Whenever someone is saying something negative and it's related to something I was talking about I catch myself on immediately relating this to myself. That people are talking badly about me. I know that it's not the case every time.. but it's hard to not think like that when I see people saying something related to topic about Sun being suicidal.. Topic that I'm mainly talking about..

I just wanted to share my experiences alongside talking about show. I thought that people wouldn't have problem with that. But it turned out that they do.

The thing is that I'm blocked by tsams confessions blog. I'm getting the feedback from one of my friends. They're sharing what is upsetting them.

Which also makes me upset and on top of that there's also the fact that there are others who relate to Sun and his mental issues and they are the ones who are sending anonymous confessions pouring their hearts there saying their frustrations about the fact that others dimiss Sun's problems..

Someone even said that they were also ignored the same way Sun was.. and seeing later that people say that we want Sun to suffer to prove ourselves to be right is awful..

I was talking to one of my friends @magrigano ... They're deactivated now.. They are most definitely depressed themselves.. They often expressed how much they're upset about people not seeing that Sun is depressed.. They also relate to Sun a lot..

I'm worried about them because they deactivated and I don't have any contact with them beside Tumblr..

I'm scared that they took what people are saying to their heart..

I hope that they're fine but it concerns me that they deactivated..

If you or anyone else know @magrigano please check what's happening with them..

They often liked my posts and commented on them.. I think that they felt understood..

I know that this is just a show.. but fans are real people and this fandom treats people who are concerned about Sun (because they relate to Sun and his mental issues) awfully..

They don't seem to realize or maybe they just don't care that they words are hurting real people..

For me these people seem as if they want to be right. They want their headcanons to turn out to be true.

That anon I was talking about last time for example said that just because we're worried about Sun it means that we wishes him to be harmed to prove ourselves right and it's yikes.. but that's not true.. these words are very harmful because this is just assumption made by a stranger.. this person doesn't even know any of us and yet they don't seem to have a problem with making things up..

When it really isn't about who is right or wrong or what is canon and what isn't..

It's about letting others be. Why people can't let others relate to Sun and be worried about him?

I think that people like that anon likes to always be right. They think that they're superior than others. I'm making assumptions now, I know. But this is exactly how this anon comes across with what they're saying.

Because at the end of the day it's more than just angst and headcanons etc. Because people who relate to Sun and his mental issues are real. People who are worried about Sun are real.

Maybe my posts were only fuelling everything more.. but like I said I'm not the one who is sending those confessions about Sun - those ones who seem concerned about him and being upset with how fandom treats Sun's fans..

And it makes me worried.. because it's not only me.. if it was just me I wouldn't be that much upset.. but now one of my friends deactivated and I don't know what's happening with them..

I'm appreciate your concern and kind words, dear anon 💗

I just wish that this fandom wouldn't attack people who struggle with mental issues just because they want to be right.

Also it's important to note that not every person deals with mental issues the same way because everyone is different and also there are a lot more mental issues/disorders beside the more popular one. Let's take depression for example.

People think that when you're depressed it's obvious because you look sad and you sit in dark room and cry a lot.. but that's not true. Many people have atypical depression or they have high functioning depression.

People should learn more about mental health to not harm others with what they say.. or they should just simply not talk about mental health if they don't want to learn more about it..

It's not that people only ignore Sun's mental issues.. because with how they words things it comes off that they're dismissive of mental issues of real people who relate to Sun.. with how they say things carelessly, they hurt real people..

That's why I'm worried. It's not only about me. More people say that they relate to Sun and it hurts them as well..

I just wanted to be a voice for them.. I wanted to help for our struggles to not be ignored..

I think that it'd be enough if people just let us be. If they let us be concerned about Sun. If they let us relate to Sun.

But some people are just awfully mean and don't care if they hurt someone because they are right.

Also it's hard for me to just stop watching the show because it helped me realize so much about myself.. and I want to know how Sun's plot will resolve because I relate to him and because thanks to him and obviously Davis and EC.. I could finally connect the broken pieces of myself.. because when I'm looking at Sun I see a reflection of myself.. He not only deals with similar mental issues to me but he also has the same character/personality. His short temper and sometimes mean comments or his horniness it's all the same.. I just feel like I'm looking at slightly different version of me.. because his life is worse than mine ever was..

I often catch myself on saying that I wouldn't be as nice as Sun in some situations.. or I don't know if I would survive as long as him in his situation..

I think that he's strong but having your issues ignored is awful also if you struggle with depression or any mental disorder that others seem to not see..

Thank you for your advice, dear anon 💗

I think that I'll try to stick to just watching show and talking only to my friends.

I'm still worried about others who relate to Sun especially my friend @magrigano.. I hope that they're alright 🥺

[id-rather-be-home]

Oh I wanted to say something about this but I didn’t want to come off as I’m pushing my opinion into you bc some authors take it that way but after seeing your last ask I kinda am just sharing my opinion too now lmao.

Ok when you said that the fic will be bottom Will from now on I remember feeling so sad lol bc there are hundreds of bottom/sub Will fics and not bottom/sub mike nearly half of that. This fanfic literally felt like what the bottom/sub Mike enjoyers have been waiting for all along and after so long we finally got what we wanted and got it waaaayyy better than we could have hoped for. wwtwcs and maybe one other fanfic was our reward for patience almost, it is sacred. And i really love your writing (the characters AND the smut especially the way you write dom Will). Anyways then the Will in the fic said that he prefers topping and I remember literally shrieking with happiness lmao. I also enjoy the few chapters you wrote with Will being the bottom but still being the one in charge, like I said you write beautifully whatever it is you write. (Like i really don’t like reading sub/bottom Will, just something that’s not for me but you sure SOLD ME on it lmao it was beautiful 💜)

Anyway again, this is your fanfiction and you get to do whatever you want with it. I mean isn’t that how we got here and it became my favourite fanfic in the first place? Also just because there are so little solid bottom/sub Mike fanfics doesn’t mean you’re responsible to contribute to it even though you are one of the lead authors of it right now. I didn’t write any of this to pressure. not like you’re gonna care what a stranger on the internet is going to say but I’m just saying this as a person, like a little child I am🙄, who’s scared that one of the key elements in their favourite fanfic is going to change drastically (not your problem either obviously) I wasn’t gonna say anything but after your last ask, I wanted you to see the both sides of your own little fandom :)

this doesn't come across as pressuring to me so don't worry about that at all!

to be completely honest, when i got that comment on the fanfic i was worried that people actually weren't going to enjoy the sub!mike direction that it was taking me and so i tried to shift gears to bottom/sub will but it didn't really work out because i just... can't really write him very well??? top/dominant will just comes so much more naturally to me because for whatever reason that's what i feel would make sense for his character i guess

however, i've clearly gone off on my own for the fic by this point and have been doing what i want and what i think feels best for the flow of the story as well as the natural progression of the characters. and i have been genuinely SO SURPRISED by the love and praise that my work has gotten. i have literally converted some people to loving bottom/sub mike and i absolutely love that

that being said - i cannot imagine this fic taking any drastic turns from where it is already progressing! when i mention bottom or sub will appearing in some of the chapters, i'm referring to things that i've kind of already explored in previous chapters because will is NOT going to get much more submissive than what has already been seen

like, the chapter i'm working on now that i mentioned in the last ask - he's more 'submissive' because he gets eaten out and then wants mike to fuck his thighs because mike loves them, but will still controls a lot of the pace. also we get a bit of a glimpse into will's oral fixation but he can still be in control even with mike's dick down his throat lol

i don't think that will's preference for fucking mike in the fic is going to change because that's my preference to write which i guess is really what it comes down to at the end of the day

and when there are chapters of will bottoming (because i do have a couple planned) he's still very much in control while mike is submitting and just doing everything he can to please will and be good for him. like in the riding chapter i mentioned at some point, will literally makes fun of mike and taunts him by saying "you're whining like you're the one getting fucked"

so i do want to reassure those of my readers that come to this fic and love it because it is primarily submissive/bottom mike - that isn't going to change. it's going to still be primarily that with some bottom will sprinkled in where i have already planned it but it won't be anything drastically different

i have 3 bottom will chapters definitively planned and i doubt that the number will get much bigger than that if i'm being totally honest because writing him bottoming is always a struggle

i really do want to please both sides which is why i've been going back and forth on more bottom will appearing, but with each chapter i write, it's just less and less likely to happen so it really should be marketed as a bottom mike/top will fic since that's what it mainly is

and, anon, you do have a point that there are a heck of a lot more bottom will fics for people to choose from, so i am more than happy to provide something for the submissive/bottom mike lovers out there especially because it's something i love as well

i'm sorry that this was ramble-y or if it sounded a little harsh at times??? it isn't at all directed at you anon, or anyone else! i guess this is just me finally realizing that 'when we touch we are caressing stars' is going to be most enjoyed by those who enjoy submissive/bottom mike and that bottom will truly won't make too many appearances