#He's gonna collect a lot of samples

[flamingpudding]

Modern (Fenton) Ghost Hunting Part 1

Ties to: Post from under 'It started with a Ouija Board' found in the Masterpost

A/N: I got a little stuck with this and there is another bigger fanfic project I started working on that has me distracted. But I wanted to post at least part of this before I might end up in radio silence for three weeks cause I am visiting family out of country and have no idea about internet access there yet 😅

Danny was in a good mood as he slurped the ecto-shake his mom had made upon his return from the Zone. It was one of the more harmless and ghost helping food inventions his parents had come up with, once the truth was out of the bag when he was more or less forced to take on his kingly duties. Though his mom's ecto-fudge special (that was also one of the few ectoplasm infused foods not coming back to life) made for only him and Ellie was even better than the shakes. It wasn't better than their special family recipes their Dad loved so much but it came a close second.

He sipped on it more as he fell back into the couch as he flicked through some TV channels. His last trip to Gotham had been a month ago and he mused that he probably would need to visit soon to update Lady Gotham on the status of the Garbage Disposal Leaks. It was a pain to deal with but hey at least he, for once, got to be the mean guy to yell at the observants how they could have left these alone for over a hundred of years.

Seriously? If he could, he would stick Sam and one of her righteous rants onto them too.

So yea Danny was in a good mood he had gotten rid of another leak which only left a couple more to take care of and then put the observants into their place with another petty with hidden insults filled and Sam inspired as well as co-authored lecture.

He would give Lady Gotham a present for giving him such a great opportunity with this problem, even if that wasn't her intention. There was also a rumor in the GZ that Box Ghost and Walker had gotten beat up by Lady Gotham several times while he was busy, he would like to hear what that was about.

In all this Danny completely forgot about his encounter with the vigilantes and that his parents told him about a new business partner that was interested in their Fenton Ghost Tech that wasn't weaponry but focused on co-existence, like the Fenton (blob-)ghost feeder.

So when the doorbell rang and Danny went to open the door, thinking it might be one of his friends. He nearly choked on his ecto-shake as he came face to face with a person he only knew from paparazzi shots or Tucker's endless rants about their technology.

"Hello, I am Tim Drake-Wayne! I believe I have an appointment with the Drs Fentons? I am not too early am I?"

-------

Red Robin was on his wits end. After the first success he had used various more 'modern' summonings in hopes of getting their ghost to show up again. But most of them ended with the same white ghost or only one other ghost claiming their name as Box Ghost to appear. Strangely when they did appear, after about a minute after their appearance an invisible force started to attack them to which these ghosts instantly turned tail and 'unsummoned' themselves. They didn't even give Red Robin the chance to ask anything.

In the end after the third time of summoning that white ghost called Walker, the ghost peeked out from that portal once and the moment they spotted him sunk back into it. Not even bothering to tell him about any rules RR might have broken. Since then none of his summons appeared to work anymore.

Though the vigilante at least concluded that whatever had attacked their teenage ghost most likely was also the driving force behind Walker or any other ghost refusing to answer his summonings. He had suspicions that might have something to do with Lady Gotham, the teenage ghost mentioned and had been unable to summon at all.

Of course Red Robin couldn't leave it like that so he dug deeper into the whole ghost cult thing and came across published research papers. Apparently the ghost cult wasn't just an occult but also a science, that he highly doubted was real. The deeper he dug the more concerned he became, for one that ectoplasm they mentioned looked awfully a lot like Lazarus Water, and second the research from the Drs Fenton he found was awfully a lot biased until a year or so ago when they suddenly invalidated all their previous research and published a nearly completely different thesis.

Though the teenage vigilante had to admit everything they offered on their website looked a whole lot more modern and right out of a SyFy movie than any of the tools he had already purchased, from a ghost Wikipedia (which surprisingly included information about Walker and that Box Ghost), to protective gear, to feeders and ectoplasm infusers.

So after a small recon with his siblings and listening to their disagreement and another rant from their youngest about Pit Demons, Red Robin made the decision to check these Drs Fenton out undercover. And who better to do that than Tim Drake-Wayne, CoCEO of Wayne Enterprise who got interested in their ectoplasm-powered gadgets designed for co-existing. After all Gotham might just be as hunted if not more with the crime rate they had.

His siblings were not happy, he knew that but he took the earliest chance he had, to take a private plane to Amity Park and made an appointment with the Fentons on a saturday afternoon.

He made sure to smile pleasantly as the son of the Drs Fentons opened the door and took his time staring. Before finally inviting him in after a shout from the Drs. resounded somewhere behind him in the house. Tim of course eyed the glowing green shake the other teenager was drinking, already forming plans on getting a sample of it the first chance he got.

"Mr. Drake! Such a pleasure to have you here! You have already met my little boy Danny, my husband will join us later he got hold up by my daughters. But we do have a couple of inventions prepared for showcasing, we could also go over some of the theories first if you prefer until my husband can join us.." A woman came up shaking his hand and the teenager, Danny, stepped away from them retreating further away but staying in earshot, Tim noted.

"Dr. Fenton, thank you for having me. I am looking forward to learning about this ecto-energy and your Fenton-inventions, I believe one was called an Ecto-Infuser?" Did he imagine it or did that boy cringe? Also the boy was clearly watching him, he tried to appear nonchalant but the way the other teen's eyes followed Tims every move as well as the guarded look in his eyes was making it obvious.

"The Ecto-Dejecto, originally designed to weaken ghosts but is now one of the many medical tools that can help a ghost survive if they do not have a steady supply of ectoplasm." Dr. Fenton easily explained while leading him over to the seating area.

"Danny be a dear and bring our guest something to drink. Coffee or Tea?"

"Coffee would be fine." Not like he would actually drink it. As much as he and his siblings made fun of Bruce's paranoia, he was not about to drink coffee offered by people who research ghosts. Besides, looking around, he wasn't sure how well they followed OSHA and he wasn't about to potentially drink a coffee infused with Lazarus Water. If that ectoplasm was Lazarus water. But he would take it with him as one of many samples.

"Sure things mom. Should I bring out the fudge too?"

Tim's ear twitched and he turned ever so slightly in the direction of the son. No it couldn't be, could it?

"Oh please be so kind."

"Will be right back."

Now Tim wished he had forced at least one of his siblings along. Because if his ears didn't betray him then this teenager had the same voice like the ghost kid. Though his memory could be slightly impaired because of the time frame since he had last heard it. He would need to get a voice recording now too and play it to his siblings.

[arctrooper69]

Helpless

Hello friends! I'm gonna try to get through a good chuck of Febuwhump this year!

Prompt #1: Helpless @febuwhump

Warnings: Imperial!Tech. Mentions of needles and implied torture.

--------------------------------------------------

It wasn't the fact that you couldn't move that frightened you the most. Neither was it the blinding lights of the laboratory, nor the frigid metal table that chilled your naked skin. It was the goggled clone who entered into the room behind Dr Hemlock.

"T-Tech?" The words were barely a whisper.

Dr Hemlock chuckled, "I'd like to introduce you to my new science officer. You will be under his care from here on out. I suggest you comply with his direction or things could become rather unpleasant and I don't think any of us want that."

Your heart pounded, chest tightening, threatening to choke you with every beat. You glared, the initial fear quickly succumbing to rage. "Kriff you! What did you do to him, you monster!?"

Hemlock seemed unaffected by the outburst, and simply pressed a small button.

A cry of pain wrenched itself from your lips, jaw snapping shut as a burst of electricity coursed through your body. It was over as soon as it had begun, leaving muscles to twitch as you gasped for breath.

He tutted, "Like I said, cooperate and things will go much easier for you."

He turned to the clone, "Report to me immediately if you find anything useful."

"Yes sir."

Hemlock nodded and briskly turned and walked out of the room.

"Oh Tech..." You sighed with shakey voice, unable to stop the tears running from the corners of your eyes. A mixture of horror and guilt settled deeply in your gut, threatening to poison every thought. "What did they do to you!?"

Tech was silent. He turned to a console across the room.

"Subject is alert and attempting to use emotional appeal to influence the decision making of the chief science officer." He spoke to himself, typing something into the console in front of him.

"Tech!" You shouted, tugging at the restraints,

"Answer me, dammit!"

He was silent for a moment. "Subject appears to be agitated and aggressive. Cooperation will need to be coerced if behavior continues."

"Please talk to me..." The anger seemed to melt, flooding you with a warm, heavy helplessness and heartbreak as he turned to you.

This was not your Tech. It couldn't be. That curious light behind his eyes now deadened into a steely emotionless logic.

"Please..." You pled quietly once again, "Don't you remember me?"

He pulled a metal tray beside him filled with various tools and instruments.

Gloved fingers palpated your inner arm drawing a silent gasp. For a brief fraction of a second your heart jumped at his touch - a body's hopeful instinct seeking that physical connection. Those hands had touched you before, but never so callously - never so cold.

"Relax, this will not harm you. I simply need to collect a few blood samples."

If you closed your eyes, maybe you could imagine that you were back on the Marauder. Maybe you could send yourself back to remember how Tech's fingers passionately caressed over your skin - anything to dull the cold precision of his current examining.

You jerked, pulling against the restraints that held you back. The needle didn't hurt as much as much as the look of indifference in his eyes.

"You used to love me, Tech. Don't you remember?"

He entered something into a datapad and looked up.

"This will go a lot easier if you cooperate."

You pulled against the able again, attempting in vain to rid yourself of this prison.

He regarded you cooly as he walked back to the tray beside the table. "I would advise against that."

"Please!" You pled, tears once again running down your temples, "Use that big extraordinary mind of yours to realize this is wrong!"

He was silent again. You tried to meet his eyes but he simply turned away, grabbing something off of the tray.

"Tech, please!" Your wrists were sore and raw, stinging and burning as the restraints bit at them once again, "I won't let you do this!"

He turned back to face you.

"I do not need your cooperation to gather these results. Fighting me will only make this more unpleasant for you. It is your choice."

He paused, allowing you to consider the options. Anger won over the sorrow.

"Kriff you."

He sighed, "Very well."

A barred restraint snapped across your shoulders and chest and another across your forehead. You felt them tighten - squeezing and pulling - until they allowed not even the smallest wiggle.

"Tech!" You gasped, "Please! You know me! Please don't do this!" Your voice cracked, "Please!"

"Relax, and I will be finished shortly."

"I love you, Tech. Whatever you do to me.... Just remember it isn't you."

A moment of hesitation. A fraction of a nanosecond. A tremor of a hand. One blink and it was gone. As you looked up at him, perhaps there was just a glimmer of sorrow - a single tear unshed and hidden far away. Hope that maybe with time, all could be saved.

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[sulieykte]

HEYYY i know ur really busy but let me just tell u this idea i had... i think you'd be able to write it perfectly but honestly just ur thoughts on it is more than enough for me!!

imagine female na'vi oc always lurking around the lab, fascinated by the humans. one day, she's introduced to a camera and is immediately completely intrigued. she's always fiddling with it, and the people at the lab let her take it home. she always has it on her, but one day it winds up in neteyam's hand. (maybe she misplaced it...? or it was intentional..)

he opens the gallery and at first its innocent, like plants or streams (briefly thought of her sneaking a photo of teyam but idk..) and suddenly, he sees her propped up, legs spread as she looks down at the camera, spit drooling from her lips onto her fingers before it slowly starts to rub her slit.. AHHHH idk just the thought of neteyam discovering camgirls/making a movie omgggg ... bonus points if reader is shy/reserved

Okay so this... I have a lot of thoughts on this but I'm also going to direct you to Neteyam finding porn by @andraga12 and maybe you could ask nicely for a part 2 because I think we all want that!

I wanted to actually write this up but my thoughts got a little long so here's a long rambling of me discussing what I think would happen and yes I got flustered imagining this.

𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒂 ೃ⁀➷𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒅 𝒖𝒑!𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒚𝒂𝒎 𝒙 𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒌𝒂𝒚𝒂!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 | 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆

I can't let go of the idea of the reader being Norm's daughter. A couple of years older than Neteyam and orphaned by the war, you were the first of Norm's fostered children and completely attached. You were attached to his hip as a child, originally in his avatar form, but one day he forgets himself and greets you in his human form and that's it, there's a na'vi toddler invading the lab every day which they quickly discover can cause much more chaos than toddler Spider.

Your interest in electronics is a blessing and a curse, because they can just shove a tablet in your hand to distract her and keep you from messing with their samples but you soon bores of that and he finds you trying to taste test some dangerous chemicals and he swears he's going grey prematurely due to his oldest kid alone.

That's until you're five and you discover an old digital camera and it's a blessing because even though you've constantly got a camera shoved in everyone's faces, you keeps your hands to yourself and eventually as you get older, start to brave leaving the lab and your father's security in a quest to capture the beauty of the forest.

Now at some point Spider teaches you how to take a selfie and you'd never even considered doing so until he grabbed your precious camera from your hands one day and flipped it around to snap a shot of the two of you together yes I love spider he's gonna be bestie in all my writing

Now this is where Neteyam comes in. Fast forward to adulthood, you're not involved much in the clan, preferring to keep to yourself and where most na'vi have their hunting knife strapped across their chest, you have your camera and are yet to even train for your iknimaya. Norm and Jake have debated this with you over the years but you're unmoving. So they send Neteyam in hopes that someone closer to your own age can get through to you and as he is already a skilled warrior, they trust he can train you.

You have to remove your beloved camera during the training sessions and a few training sessions in, he gets curious at what could possibly be so interesting about this device that it keeps you so isolated from the rest of the clan. So when you're collecting your arrows, he picks it up and starts to look through the images.

They start off innocent, candids of Norm and Max working in the lab, a shot of the Mo'at in concentration as she heals a fallen warrior, the colour of the sky moments before eclipse. Until they're not so innocent anymore and Neteyam's breath catches in his throat as he finds himself looking at a Na'vi woman's body, legs spread, head thrown back, a delicate hand inches from your core and Eywa he wishes he could see that hand drop a little further.

He gets his wish when he loses his mind and scrolls to the next photo and finds you bent over on your knees, fingers knuckle deep in yourself and he feels his loincloth tighten uncomfortably. The next is a video, you stare down the camera, adjusting it on it's stand before your back away until your knelt form is in frame. Your eyes seem to catch his through the screen and his knees practically give out as he watches you slip your fingers into your mouth, swirling them around until they come out glistening with your spit and travel down your body.

You return then, a handful of arrows and find him with your precious camera in hand, eyes blown wide and totally engrossed in whatever is on the screen.

You're scrambling over to him and attempting to grab it from his hand before you even hear the sounds coming from the device. Your sounds. You demand he returns it.

He can't resist but tease you, holding the camera above his head and out of your reach. A smirk on his face as you attempt to jump and get a hold of his arm, your whimpers echoing from the speakers.

Your body brushes up against his as you jump for the camera, and you stop, feeling something hard graze your stomach. He hisses, the friction causing his composure to wane.

You look up at him, face reddened with the embarrassment of being caught, that he'd been the one to catch you and that he was looking down at you like a predator that had found his prey.

He smirks and hands the camera back to you, leaning down to whisper in your ear. "I think it's time the student becomes the teacher. Teach me how to take such beautiful pictures, sevin."

Go to part two

[outtoshatter]

Author spotlight for this week is: All-or-nothing-baby / @teencopandthesourwolf! They have lots of great fics to choose from. Here's a little sample of their most recent stories!

Rated T:

Love Yew | T | 2k tags: magic, established relationship, angst with happy ending, slice of life Summary: “It's an Apology Leaf. Obviously.” Obviously.

OR Navigating the established relationship, with some emotional hurt/comfort, a maybe magic tree (that isn't the blasted Nemeton) and puns. So, just an average day in the lives of Derek and Stiles, really.

Dude | T | 1k tags: angst with happy ending, grief/mourning, falling in love Summary: That was the last time somebody put their arms around Derek—and the last time he saw his sister alive. It was two years ago. Derek doesn’t think he has taken a full breath, since.

OR Stiles hugs Derek. Derek consequently freaks out a little (shocker).

Haystack Charm Around Your Neck | T | 13k some tags: canon divergence, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, scent marking, mates Summary: “Maybe you could just, like, couch surf for a while? Just till you get fixed up. Or maybe even… chair surf?" Stiles suggests, now nodding at the armchair in the corner of his bedroom and chewing on that rosebud lip of his again. Derek looks at the armchair like it's the most confusing thing he has ever seen, and then back at Stiles as if he's changed his mind about that and it is actually the sixteen-year-old in front of him who is the true mystery. "Offer's there, dude," Stiles shrugs. "Don't—“ “Call you dude? Yeah, probably never gonna happen. Sorry, dude. I'd just try and get used to it if I were you." And then Stiles is once again spinning around to face his computer and is seemingly slipping straight back into Hyper-Research Mode. Derek is a little horrified when he finds himself now considering this kid as not just Stiles: Scott's Idiot Best Friend, but as Stiles: Maybe-Friend of Derek. When an image of Stiles's mouth pops up in his mind's eye, Derek also wonders exactly when it was that he started looking at Stiles in that way.

OR Oblivious!Derek and the epitome of the tags: #Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things and #Stiles Stilinski is a Nice Thing

Like a Little Prayer | T | 1k tags: slice of life, friends to flirts, Hale pack 2.0, everybody lives-nobody dies Summary: “I asked because I wanted to know if you were okay, man," Stiles divulges, as if that's nothing at all. As if it's something Derek hears often. He tilts his head to catch Derek's eye—which works, of course. Because it always works, no matter the nature of the moment they're caught up in. "Like, I was concerned, y`know?” Derek feels guilty just for looking. And not only because he wants to touch but because he wants to let Stiles care.

OR Derek doesn't understand why Stiles gives a shit. So, Stiles tells him.

Spicy (Rated M or E):

The Cross he Bears | M | 734 tags: established relationship, Dom/sub undertones, Stiles takes care of Derek Summary: Stiles knows exactly how to take care of his wolf.

Love Like Ghosts | E | 744 tags: choking, under-negotiated kink, breathplay, established relationship Summary: They both know not talking about this isn't okay, isn't healthy, but—and God knows why—Derek loves Stiles. So, the big guy, he gets it: that the best thing isn't always the right thing.

Tastes Like Home | E | 379 some tags: plot-what-plot, porn with feelings, Derek takes care of Stiles, 1st POV Summary: It’s never quite enough... What does he need? Maybe, he just needs more. OR Derek takes care of Stiles and finds exactly what Stiles is looking for: an anchor.

Remember to mind the tags, leave a kudos, and maybe even drop a comment! Go check out their AO3 page for their entire collection of works!

[jeanniebug623]

🕸️🕷️ Weaving the Web 🕷️🕸️

Chapter 7: Familiar Territory

”Why are we out here?” Spider asked, hiding how much he was jumping for joy internally to have the warm sun on his skin and soft Pandoran soil under his feet.  No hospital room with its beeping monitors, no scratchy human clothes or bedding, no needle pricks or brain scans…just the sky above and ground below.

”Just takin’ a quick field trip, kid.” Quaritch said as he leaned against a tree with his arms crossed, watching the boy walk around not far from where the Samson had landed.  “Security for some of the agricultural science guys looking for samples of some mantis plant.  Orchid or something.”

“Fwäkìwll. ” Spider said fluently in the native tongue as he placed his hand against a tree and slowly slid its hand up his bark.  He glanced back at Quaritch with a cheeky grin, “You want to say it back?”

”I wouldn’t consider that a necessary part of the language lessons.” Quaritch replied with a partial smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.  He didn’t even mind when the kid rolled his eyes and shook his head in disappointment that the colonel didn’t want to learn about the plant.  There was an unfamiliar warmth in his chest watching Spider in his element; an even more unfamiliar feeling of guilt knowing he was the reason this boy was out of it in the first place.

Spider’s doctors, and Ja agreed, he could be discharged from the hospital wing under 24 hour supervision.  That came with its own obstacles…

~~~

”I’m going to be blunt, Quaritch, are you out of your goddamn mind?” Ardmore asked him as soon as the paperwork landed on her desk for approval for a prisoner transfer into temporary probationary guardianship.  Despite her choice of words, her tone remained collected.

Spider would go from prisoner of war to ward of the state, in a manner of speaking.  RDA administrators loved the PR image of a poor human boy orphaned by the war 15 years ago being taken into custody of an on-world hero for humanity.  If Ardmore was going to play the political game to HIDE Spider, Quaritch would use it to bring the boy into the light.  Quaritch couldn’t consider himself a sympathetic person but he knew all too well how it could be used to sway others.

”Not at all, ma’am.” Quaritch said coolly.  Submitting his request for custody of Spider was met with a lot of confusion by the RDA stuffed shirts.  Understandably so.  Why would the recombinant of Colonel Miles Quaritch want to take custody of feral sixteen-year-old boy when he also was dead set on his mission to find and eliminate Jake Sully.  When his sentimentality for the boy as his genetic predecessor’s son was brought up, the colonel let the doctors give their argument that the brain damage caused by the neuroscanner was better studied with a willing patient.

Ardmore was staring Quaritch down, despite being almost half his height.  The general could easily pull rank and deny the custody transfer.  It’s hard to say what Spider’s “official title” as a citizen would be but he would be out of the military’s jurisdiction, unless he were to act up and get himself arrested again.  That was certainly a possibility given how unpredictable the alter ego was.  For all she knew, the boy could be back in her custody in a matter of days.

”Receiving custody of this boy does not take the place of your current responsibilities, colonel.” Ardmore said sternly, hiding the disdain for being outplayed in this little power game of theirs when it came to the child.

”Of course not, ma’am, Jake Sully is my primary focus.” Quaritch said with a salute and mental grin, “Some kid ain’t gonna change that, general.”

~~~

”Hey!” Spider said, quickly jogging around the tree and out of sight.

This brought Quaritch back to the present and he craned his neck to see what had caught the kid’s attention.  Eventually,  he pushed off the tree with his shoulder and walked over to see the kid removing large purple-skinned fruit from a large blue-green plant.  Spartan fruit.  Quaritch knew that one.  He’d seen rows of it growing in the Na’vi block back at Hell’s Gate during his first tour.  Well, his HUMAN tour.

Spider dug his fingers into the thick skin near where the stem was and peeled back to reveal the bluish-purple meat of the fruit inside.  He smiled approvingly at his choice, happy that this one was especially juicy and more blue than less ripe fruit.  He immediately started painting over the extremely faint stripes on his arms.  With no access to his usual dye and regular bathing in the hospital, even HE was struggling to remember the pattern Kiri had lovingly helped him paint.

”If you don’t mind me askin’, Spider, why do you do that?” Quaritch asked with a nod.

”Cause I want to.” Spider said, shooting the race a challenging look.

”Alright then.” Quaritch said simply.  He saw the gears turning in the boy’s head as it wasn’t met with any ridicule.  The colonel couldn’t say he understood it but the kid was raised by Na’vi sympathizers.  If he wanted to paint himself blue and knot his hair in dreadlocks, so be it.  Wasn’t his kid anyways…

”I…do it because…” Spider started, unsure if Quaritch cared but continued when the recom continued to watch him and listen.  Even his pointed blue ears were perked up, showing his interest in whatever Spider had to say. “It makes me feel like I belong somewhere.  With my friends and the Omatikaya.”

”Yea, I guess your upbringing was a little messed up…” Quaritch observed, much to the boy’s scoff in response.

”At least the parts with the sky people…” Spider grumbled back and continued to repaint his stripes.

Well then…

Quaritch sighed and crossed his arms again, watching Spider meticulously paint a certain pattern.  How long did the kid spend doing this?  They only had an hour while the lab coats gathered their samples.

”How about I help you get those hard to reach spots, tiger?” Quaritch asked as he walked over, putting his hand on Spider’s shoulder to turn him and look at his back.

”No, it’s ok.” Spider said quickly, turning to face the recom, “I’ll just do what I can see today…it’s fine.”

Quaritch narrowed his eyes, appraising the boy’s behavior.  Don’t fucking touch me!  Miles’ angry words echoed in his head as if the boy had just screamed them.  He held up his hands in a placating way.

“Just offerin’, kid, I’m not going to hurt you.” Quaritch said, crouching down and his ears going back, “You know that, right…?”

Spider’s eyes shifted to the side and he chewed the inside of his cheek.  He didn’t actually know how to answer that one.  A few days prior, Quaritch came to his hospital room and explained the whole “custody thing”.  Spider wouldn’t be a prisoner of the RDA but he wasn’t going free either.  He was only allowed to go to the med bay, cafeteria, gym, and recom barracks.  And he wasn’t allowed to go ANYWHERE alone.

Though…there was one place he could be left alone.  The small bedroom in Quaritch’s apartment.  Guess even being a recom now, rank still had its privileges.  It wasn’t much but he had his own room with a much more comfortable bed than in the hospital.  Not to mention everything in the apartment was built for a recom so even a small bedroom was bigger than he was used to.  He hadn’t explored the rest of it but there was another bedroom for Quaritch, en-suite bathroom between them, a living room, and kitchenette.  Spider was pretty sure it only had a coffee maker…

”It’s fine, please.” Spider said, stepping back when Quaritch tried to help again, “It’s ok.  This is enough.”

“Alright, I hear ya.” Quaritch said, standing up to back away.  The last thing he wanted was to trigger an episode with Miles.  “Just know I got your back…when you need it.”

Spider chewed on his inner cheek again, tasting salt after a second.  He didn’t know what to say to that so he went back to finishing the stripes he could see in awkward silence with Quaritch watching over him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Don’t you look all spiffy with a new coat of paint!” Zdinarsk commented when Quaritch and Spider joined them at their table in the mess hall for dinner.

Spider just smirked and glanced down at his front, fresh blue stripes making him feel more like himself than he had in weeks.  Most of the squad acknowledged their return but didn’t engage in conversation.  In fact, it seemed like whatever they had been talking about died as soon as he sat down.  It kind of made Spider feel awkward…like he was intruding.  Which meant they didn’t want him to know what they were talking about…which was likely him.  Or maybe he was just paranoid…the recoms barely paid him any mind before.

”Take it the mission was successful, boss?” Wainfleet asked, shooting the kid a friendly smile with a wink

”Uneventful is more like it but better than the alternative.” Quaritch said, looking down at Spider not touching his food, “Eat up, kid, I swear it’s better than the grub in the hospital.”

”Or prison?” Spider asked under his breath as he picked up his fork and started moving the strips of grilled chicken and steamed vegetables around for the first bite.

Quaritch frowned as his ears went back and tail flipped in annoyance.  But he didn’t respond, glad to see the kid take a bite of chicken.  He looked up to Wainfleet and asked, “I reckon y’all were successful in your respective duties today.”  The collective murmur of ‘yes, sir’ and ‘affirmative’ sounded out from the table in unison, catching the boy’s attention.

”What did you guys do?” Spider asked suspiciously.

”Security detail, kiddo.” Wainfleet answered, “Escorted a group from the old Hell’s Gate site in.

Spider shifted uncomfortably in his seat and chose to stab his next bite of food more aggressively than necessary, “You don’t say…I didn’t know people were still there…”

“Not usually.” Wainfleet answered, recognizing the look from his commanding officer to be careful with the subject given Spider’d spent most of his life there. “But sometimes it’s used as a satellite research lab by some of the…uh, former residents .”

“Yea…the people who betrayed the Na’vi…” Spider said, choosing his own words carefully.  He opted to say the betrayal was against the Na’vi, not specifically Jake.

”Yea…something like that.” Wainfleet said, moving the conversation along, “We escorted them back here, that’s all.  Easy peasy.”

Spider glanced up with just his eyes.  The cafeteria was at its busiest at dinner since much of Bridgehead City settled down at night, aside from the sec-ops unit.  The security team never slept.  He looked down, letting out a slow sigh.  Would anyone he know be there…?

”If all goes well, the next mission will have us back out tracking possible leads on Sully.” Quaritch announced the team.  This gathered a bigger response from the team, cheers and agreeing it was about time they got their boots on the ground.

It made Spider’s stomach twist up for a lot of reasons.  He obviously didn’t want the Sullys or High Camp to be found.  Hell, he didn’t want ANY Na’vi to be found by the Sky People!  But he was also afraid that, if by some miracle of Eywa they did reunite, he would absolutely lose control.  If his alter ego - Miles -  was as aggressive as Quaritch and the doctors said, how would he respond to someone he knew?

“…excuse me.” Spider said quietly when he looked again and stood up from the table.

“You good, Spider?” Quaritch asked as the kid walked behind him to get around the table.  Wainfleet also watched intently; Ja’s eyes darted in the boy’s direction as he continued to talk to Prager.

”Yes, sir…” came a low, monotone response.

“Shit, grab him.” Quaritch said quickly and quietly, a sudden alertness to danger spreading through his body like a shot of adrenaline to the heart.  He was barely up from his table as Wainfleet scrambled to turn and grab the kid but he was well out of arm’s reach.

A brown-haired man with a horseshoe mustache, blue jumpsuit unzipped down to the waist with the sleeves tied like a belt, and a lab coat with rolled up sleeves over an undershirt statin with sweat was the acquired target for Miles.  The boy had a fistful of the man’s hand before anyone else at the table recognized him and slammed the man’s face down into the table with so much force everything on the table rattled or fell over.

”MILES!” Quaritch roared as he tried to reach the kid before any other damage was done.

After effectively shattering the man’s nose with a loud cracking sound and explosion of blood, Spider tore the man back off the seat to the floor and was on top of him before the recoms could stop him getting in a few more bone-crunching punches.  The evil, satisfied grin on Spider’s face was the worst part as he fisted the man’s shirt and repeatedly punched the man in the face with increasing ferocity.  Screams of shocked pain accompanied the squelching of blood and knocking out of teeth from Spider’s victim.

The kid managed to get in three solid hits in quick succession before Quaritch had his strong arms around Spider’s middle and tearing him back off the man.  Spider kicked and flailed and laughed.  Quaritch spun him away from the man into Wainfleet’s waiting arms to try and get him under control.  Security on their dinner break were jumping in to corral the audience and attend to the wounded man.

”Miles, what the fuck are you thinking?!” Quaritch asked, holding Spider’s wrists tightly so he couldn’t try punching him.  Wainfleet was holding him from behind after forcing the kid to his knees so he couldn’t kick either.

Spider wasn’t looking back at him.  No, Quaritch knew the look in those brown eyes and the way he tilted his head to the right with evil curling the corners of his mouth into a grin.

”Goddamn it, boy.” Quaritch cursed under his breath as more sec-ops flowed into the room.  He sent a quick glance to the human officers in charge coming his way.  Looking back at Spider, who raised his eyebrow with a look of fake innocence, Quaritch had to make a decision that would satisfy them and Ardmore when this eventually reached her.  At least until he could figure out the trigger.

“Wainfleet.  Ja.  Mansk.” Quaritch barked, “Escort the boy to solitary confinement.”

Spider pouted.  Quaritch honestly wanted to backhand that disrespectful look right off the kid’s face but he knew it wasn’t Spider doing it.  The chuckles that escaped Spider’s throat as Wainfleet and Mansk held his arms twisted behind his back and left the cafe, Ja following and ready to administer the sedative he’d kept in his back pocket ever since Spider had been discharged.

Quaritch scrubbed a hard hand down his face then looked back to the man being taken to the infirmary.  His keen eyes caught the glimmer of a keycard fall from a plastic sleeve that was clipped precariously to the pocket of the jumpsuit.  Picking up the small card in his hand, his eyes roved over the name.

“N. MCCOSKER”

[rekiilysm]

Together? Together. Ch1

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・

⇨ 「pairing— mark watney x fem!reader」

⇨ 「a/n— more than a year later, i’m FINALLY writing something for my favorite nerd. p.s. i’m still upset that there’s not a lot of mark watney stuff on here」

⇨ 「warnings— none i think」

⇨ 「word count— 1.9k」

CHAPTER ONE: THE STORM

“All right, team, stay in sight of each other. Let’s make NASA proud today.”

“How’s it looking over there, Watney and L/n?”

“Well, you’ll be happy to hear that in Grid Section 14-28 the particles were predominantly coarse,” Mark explained to the team as him and Y/n crouched down with little clear sample containers in their hands.

“But in 29, they’re much finer and should be ideal for chem analysis,” Y/n added, not looking up from the red sandy ground.

“Wow. Did everybody hear that? Mark and Y/n just discovered dirt. Should we alert the media?” Martinez spoke over the channel sarcastically.

Mark rolled his eyes, “Sorry, what are you doing today Martinez? Making sure the MAV is still upright?” Y/n felt a small smile creep onto her face.

“I’d like you to know that visual inspection of the equipment is imperative to mission success. I also would like to report that the MAV is still upright,” Martinez replied smartly as the two botanists smiled.

“Thank you for your hard work, Martinez,” Y/n said in a joking matter. Mark chuckled as he continued to chip at the rock.

“Watney, L/n, you keep leaving you channel open which leads to Martinez responding, which leads to all of us listening, which leads to me being annoyed,” Commander Lewis spoke.

“Roger that. Martinez, the captain would like you to please shut your smart mouth,” Mark said. Y/n snorted loudly, looking over to her best friend who had a mischievous smirk on his face.

Beck, in the HAB studying samples, shook his head. “We’d prefer to use a different adjective to describe Martinez’s mouth.” Mark and Y/n started laughing with each other, making it hard to focus on their task.

“Did Beck just insult me?” Martinez spoke unbelievably.

Y/n stopped her laughs for a moment, “‘Doctor Beck.’ And yes.” She couldn’t help but send a smart reply right back at the man.

Johanssen, sat at her computer in the HAB alongside Beck, was tired of the four’s bickering. “Happy to turn the radios off from here, Commander. Just say the word.”

Mark stopped from what he was doing and looked back at Lewis, “Wait, Johanssen. Constant communication is the hallmark-“

“Shut ‘em off,” Lewis told Johanssen, interrupting Mark.

“No-“

“Wait!-“

Mark and Y/n tried to get them to stop, but they were interrupted by a small ringing noise, indicating that the radios were turned off. “I apologize for my countrymen, Vogel.” Lewis said as she walked past the two plant nerds.

“Accepted,” Vogel replied.

With a sigh, Y/n looked up at her Commander. “How many samples do we need, Commander?”

“Seven, 100 grams each,” she told the two, who nodded before getting back to work. Lewis walked a little bit away from them before crouching down to collect her own samples.

“Commander, you should come inside. You’re gonna want to see this,” Johanssen said over the radio, her voice slightly panicked.

“What is it?” She asked, continuing her task.

“A storm warning,” Johanssen said, making the astronauts stop their work. Mark and Y/n gave each other a wide-eyed look.

“I saw that in this morning’s briefing. We’ll be inside before it hits,” Commander spoke.

Johanssen continued, “Yeah, they upgraded their estimate. The storm’s gonna be a lot worse.” This caused Lewis to stand up and look around. The wind started to blow stronger, stirring up the sandy ground.

“Martinez, how does it look?” Lewis asked the man at the MAV.

“Not good,” he replied as he stared at the large dusty cloud, the sound of thunder beginning to fill their ears.

———

Not too long after Johanssen’s warning, the four astronauts stood in the HAB staring at a computer. “‘1,200 kilometers in diameter, bearing 24.41 degrees,’” Commander Lewis read off of the screen. Y/n and Mark stood side-by-side still in their suits, their helmets off.

“That’s tracking right towards us,” Beth Johanssen didn’t look away from the computer screen. Y/n’s gloved hand found Mark’s, squeezing it as tightly as she could. Mark gave her a small kiss on her forehead, silently telling her everything would be okay.

“‘Based on current escalation, estimated force of 8,600 newtons,’” Lewis continued to read off.

“What’s the abort force?” Mark asked.

“7,500,” Beck answered.

“Anything more than that and the MAV could tip,” Martinez said over the radio.

“Do we scrub?” Vogel asked the Commander.

She nodded, “Begin abort procedure.” Mark and Y/n look at the screens in disappointment.

“We are estimating with a margin of error. We could wait it out,” Y/n spoke up. Lewis looked over to the her and then the screen again with a sigh.

Mark nodded along with his best friend’s words, “Let’s wait it out.” Everyone looked over to him. “Let’s wait it out,” he repeated.

“Commander?” Beth asked the pondering woman standing over her.

“Prep emergency departure,” she said before walking off quickly.

“Commander,” the two botanists spoke in unison.

“We’re scrubbed. That’s an order,” Lewis told them both. Their shoulders slumped at the order. They didn’t want to go home yet! They still had much more to discover and experiment on! “Martinez, how long before take-off?”

“12 minutes,” the said man replied. The six astronauts in the HAB quickly got their gear back on—well, Mark and Y/n didn’t have to because they didn’t take theirs off, expecting to go back out to get more samples.

Once they got their suits back on, they rushed to exit the building. “Visibility is almost zero. Anyone gets lost, hone in on my suit’s telemetry. You ready?” Commander Lewis said, tapping on the screen by the locked door so they could open it.

“Ready!” Mark exclaimed from the back, Y/n right in front of him—which he insisted on. Then Lewis opened the door, black dust immediately filling the room as well as strong winds. The wind pushed them all back slightly.

“Commander, are you okay?!”

“I’m okay!” She replied back as they all began to fight the winds. Because Mark was the last one, he closed the door behind him before following the lights on his team’s helmets.

“Commander, we’re at 10 degrees, and the MAV is gonna rip at 12.3,” Martinez spoke with a panicked and quick voice.

“Hey! We might be able to keep the MAV from tipping,” Y/n yelled through the wind as she continued to walk.

“How?” Commander Lewis asked.

Mark seemed to catch her idea, so he spoke up for her, “Use the cables from the comms mast as guy-lines, anchor it with the Rover’s!” He exclaimed as something—Y/n couldn’t tell what—flew in their direction.

“Watch out!” Lewis exclaimed, but it was too late. The disk flew into Mark, taking him along with it as it flew through the winds.

“MARK!!” Y/n exclaimed as she stopped. The woman felt her heart drop down to the ground at the emptiness behind her.

“Watney!” Lewis yelled as well. “What happened?”

“He was hit!” Y/n exclaimed through the knot that was forming in her throat.

“Watney, report,” Beth panicked.

“No, no, no, no..” Y/n muttered to herself as she stopped walking completely.

“Before we lost telemetry, his decompression alarm went off,” Beck said.

“Where did you last see him?” Commander asked quickly.

Y/n shook her head, “I don’t know where he is!” She was panicking. Like on-the-brink-of-a-panic-attack panicking. Her best friend, her family, the only one she’s truly ever loved more than anyone in the world, gone.

“What are the vitals on his suit?”

“He’s offline,” Y/n looked down at the screen on the arm of her suit.

“A complete loss of signal on Watney.”

“Beck!” Vogel exclaimed, which the said man replied with a quick ‘yeah’. “How long can he survive decompression?”

“Less than a minute,” he responded. Y/n didn’t know what to do or say, she was still in shock of the whole thing.

Commander Lewis walked over to the rest of the team, “Line up, walk west.” And then they began walking. Y/n was determined to find her best friend, even if that meant she would be left all alone on the red planet. “He may be prone. We don’t wanna step over him.” Commander said as they used their lights to try and find Mark.

“Commander. We’re at 10.5 degrees. Tilting to 11 with a lll the gusts of wind,” Martinez warned the woman.

With a sigh of panic, Lewis stopped and turned back at her team. “Everyone, hone in on Martinez’s suit. It’ll get your to airlock. Get in, prep for launch.”

“What about you, Commander?” Vogel asked unsurely.

“I’m gonna search a little longer. Get moving!” She said, but everyone but Y/n hesitated. “Go!” The other started to move towards the MAV, but Lewis noticed a presence behind her. “L/n, go!”

“I’m not leaving without Mark! I couldn’t live with myself if I left him here,” she told her Commander.

With a sigh, Lewis nodded her head. Another set of eyes would be better to finding Mark. “Fine.” And so they started looking. Y/n tried to go the direction she last saw Mark, but she wasn’t finding anything. “Watney, report!”

“Mark!” The two yelled and searched around to see if the man would respond back, but nothing.

“The MAV’s at 11.6 degrees. One good gust and we’re tipping,” Martinez warned the two.

“If it tips, you launch,” Lewis told him, determined to find her lost crew mate.

“You really think I’m gonna leave you behind?” He asked his Commander.

“That’s an order, Martinez,” she commanded.

Y/n nodded, “Leave us if you have to.” She told him before continuing her search to find her best friend. “Mark! Can you hear me? Mark I swear if you don’t respond-“ She said but was cutoff by the sound of a large object headed her way.

“Martinez, what about the proximity radar? Could that detect Watney’s suit?” Lewis asked the man.

“It’s made to see the Hermes from orbit, not a little piece of metal from a single suit,” he told her, but Y/n wasn’t listening. She didn’t know what direction the large object was coming from, so she hoped that it would miss her.

“Give it a try,” she said.

“Roger.” He replied. A few seconds later he spoke up, “We’ve got negative contact on the proximity radar.”

“Nothing?!” Y/n exclaimed in sadness.

“No. I can barely see the HAB,” Martinez gave them the bad news.

“Commander, Y/n, I know you don’t wanna hear this, but Mark is dead,” Beck’s voice came through the radio. Those three words struck Y/n hard.

Mark is dead.

A sob escaped Y/n’s lips as she continued her search, but the large object was getting louder it seemed.

“Commander, Y/n, you need to get back to the ship, now!”

“13 degrees. If we pass balance, we’ll never rock back!” Vogel said, making Lewis stop.

“I’ve got one more trick left, and then I’m following orders, Commander,” Martinez spoke, but Y/n was partially listening. The object was getting closer, she could feel it.

“Commander! Y/n!” Beth exclaimed.

“On my way,” Lewis said as she started to make her way to the MAV. But what she didn’t notice was that she was walking back alone. “Y/n?” She asked the stopped girl.

“I can’t leave him,” she told her Commander.

“Y/n, I’m sorry but he’s gone. We have to leave. Now!” Lewis ordered her, but before she could say anything, the large object slammed right into Y/n, causing her to scream loudly. It felt like a solar panel? Y/n couldn’t tell as it pushed and dragged her away from her commander, away from the MAV. Away from her chance of getting home alive. It pushed onto her helmet hard, so hard that it knocked her head against it.

“Y/N!!” Was the last thing she heard before she blacked out.

[brainrotdotorg]

THE GRAND RESULTS OF THE SEXIEST SKILL POLL

What it says on the tin. I was curious to see what the fandom's consensus would be, so I held this informal poll of which skill from each skill group was sexiest- I probably should have polled for a week, but to be fully honest, I'm just impatient. If someone would like to do more formal data collection, I am all for it. Right now I am running a poll between all the finalists- which you can vote in here- to determine who is the all-time sexiest skill, so do that after you read these results : ) To everyone who voted, thank you for your valuable input! We got 698 votes overall in intellect, 698 in psyche, (balance!) 744 in physique, (expected, knew physique would be controversial) and 666 (underappreciated gang) in motorics. So the sample size is a touch skewed, but what are you gonna do? Let's crack into these ratings! I'll set up each placement with how many votes they got and reasonings for why they placed there- from both me and those who offered their own opinions (thank you to everyone who did that by the way, extremely valuable input.) plus their items that offer stat bonuses (which I think is fair game to help determine sexiness). Also if the pronouns surprise you I'm just using the headcanons that I have lmfao sorry I'm scrambling the genders of these brain beasts and there is nothing you can do about it And remember, the real winner here is… Harry, because he gets to have all 24 of these sexy singles rattling around in his brainspace. Or that makes him a loser. Up for debate. Anyway.

INTELLECT RESULTS: Coming in at number 6, with 5% of the votes (35 overall)… Logic. Oof. The absolute lowest ranked out of ALL the skills, what a way to start. Sorry, man. Maybe he's just too clinical for his own good, maybe it's because he seems a little unapproachable, or maybe he just doesn't have that special something. The unfortunate visual comparison to Measurehead's portrait doesn't help out. Not unattractive by any means, but he doesn't have the sex appeal. Logic is the opposite of passion, after all. It's hard to imagine him ravishing anybody- just quick, efficient, not very hot. Would also be hard to kiss him what with the shifting face-pieces. His stat is boosted by FALN "Pipo" Pipo (+2), Samaran Conical Hat (+1), Flip-up Glasses The Auditor (+1), Interisolary Dress Shirt (+1), Korojev Jacket (+1). This outfit is a disaster, I'm sorry. The conical hat alone is enough to ruin it. You have so many options and all of them are bad. This really does put the L in Logic. REASONS YOU VOTED:

i chose logic because. idk i saw someone draw it full body once and thought that he looked very fuckable

(that was it that was the only reason for Logic given lmfao) Coming in at number 4-5, with a tie! Already! 9%, 63 votes each, we have Encyclopedia and Rhetoric! Honestly, I can see it. Encyclopedia is very knowledgeable, you definitely couldn't make the argument that he would be inexperienced. Knowledge is hot! On a purely aesthetic level too, he's got a nice face. Very kissable lips. But that's not enough to carry you into the Sexy category. Where's the spark? The zest? Sure, he knows a lot, but is he capable of executing what he's studied? His stat is boosted by Dick Mullen's Hat (+1) and Mega-Bino's Prescription Lenses (+2). Could look good? Maybe? And Rhetoric. Right off the bat, he is a comrade, so that is pretty sexy. Rhetoric can talk the talk, but we can't be sure they can walk the walk. We can see what that mouth do, also, but he looks a little teethy for my taste. Being opinionated can be very attractive, but it can also get grating. Dirty talk could turn into a debate. Unless that's your thing, it could kill the mood. They can't quite make the cut here, at least for me. His stat is boosted by Medal The Setting Sun (+1) and White Polo Shirt (+1). Doesn't really scream "sexy" to me. REASONS YOU VOTED:

encyclopedia#knows what i know bb

encyclopedia#i mean look at his hair

rhetoric for the aggressive politics#having an argument really does it for me

rhetoric is literally sucking a dick

"Rhetoric because I like it the most. I don't know if it's sexy in the classical sense, but I like someone who can be reasoned with and is willing to work things out with you. Resistant to bullshit. That's hot." Coming in at number 3, with 21% of the votes (147 overall) we have Visual Calculus! I'll be honest- this one surprised me. There were a lot of Viscalc stans in the tags and I thought he would pull through, but nope, he placed exact middle. He's got a lot going for him! The perfect intersection between art and logistics. Factual, but not pretentious. On an aesthetic level, they really do look great- strong nose, extremely fun abstract elements, full lips, those just barely visible eyes, dark and mysterious… be still my heart! And those skills of determining what works where… well, I don't have to explain it. I think the only reason he didn't win was because our next two contenders were especially strong. His stat is boosted by Neat Office Shades (+1) and RCM Commander's Jacket (+1). Hot damn! Not bad! They could pull that look off. REASONS YOU VOTED:

I picked visual calculus but I was surprised to see how many other people did too#I guess… it just feels more tangible? Like it interacts with the physical world?#idk if that explanation is easy to interpret correctly but it#'s the best I've got

vis calc but this one was difficult#vis calc is just so calm and factual and like. down to business.

visual calc draws so beautifuly and has sick bgm in its action scenes

encyclopedia is my BOY but vis calc is my lover

"Voted Visual Calculus because he's good at what he does and doesn't make a fuss. He reconstructs crime scenes and doesn't start any drama." "I picked Visual Calculus, even though Encylopedia is by far my favorite. Encyclopedia isn't sexy, he just makes me smile. Similarly Drama isn't sexy, he's just funny. I considered Conceptualization, but his tendency to be pretentious is a total turn-off. But Visual Calculus… those moments of perfect precision when the lights dim and the focus narrows? Delicious. THAT is sexy" "Visual calculus, there’s just something to him that makes him alluring" (And probably the most compelling reasoning….)#visual calculus is gonna find the angle of the prostate#or g spot Coming in in second place, with 27% of the votes (188 overall) we have Conceptualization! I think Conceptualization deserves second place. She's a romantic. He's creative. An artist, a poet, a visionary. Visually, she's enchanting- the suggestion of a human form, softer than Viscalc but just as mysterious. He can wine and dine you, have a good time with you, but most important of all- he could surprise you. Conceptualization would know how to get freaky with it, I think. You could take them by the hand and kiss their knuckles, which they would be extremely appreciative of. This is someone that has taste. The portrait parallel to the Smoker on the Balcony also helps. Her stat is boosted by Saramirizian Lounge Jacket (+1 and White Satin Shirt (+1)- worn unbuttoned, of course. Now THAT is sexy. REASONS YOU VOTED:

conceptualization i like artists :

conceptualization whore

conceptualisation#gotta understand what you want baybee

conceptualization is the king

oh this one was tough#vis calc has the best writing imo#but visually…conceptualization wins

And our winner for sexiest Intellect skill, with 29% of the votes (202 votes overall) is…. DRAMA! The thespian himself! And my own personal vote, so I'm happy he won. Let's be real. He's got the passion. He is distinct, charming, funny, and the way he speaks! Getting called "my liege"? That was enough to push him into first for me, nicknames are too good. You know the roleplay would be insane. Insane. Aesthetically, many faces? Many eyes and mouths? I yield the remainder of my time. I can't be normal about Drama. Not only is he a delight that's just full of personality, they're hot. His stat is boosted by Leather Jacket Pissfaggot (+1), Insane Mesh Tank Top (+1), Party Dragon's Silk Robe (+1), Bow Knot (+2) Need I even say more? The mesh tank top on its own would have been enough, but the party dragon's silk robe? The Pissfaggot jacket? Too perfect! REASONS YOU VOTED:

drama literally calls you sire there's no competition

obviously drama… the way it's speaking? you know it

it was a TOUGH pick between drama & conceptualization but i had to pick drama#obviously the artsy ones have an edge as far as sexiness goes. drama wins bcus like the drama outfit is the#slutty ass robe and mesh tank top like. drama knows whats up PSYCHE RESULTS: Coming in at number 6, with 9% of the votes (63 overall) we have… Suggestion. Oh, Suggestion! I really did think you would rank higher! Hell, even in your official description, you were made to "charm men and women." I'm so sorry that didn't happen this time around, champ. They're all about sweet-talking and persuasion, and is undeniably a smooth talker, but if that's all you have, then there isn't much else to offer. Visually, it feels like he's…. missing something. If the brain stem-roots look more like tentacles, you KNOW he would be more popular. Honestly, I think Suggestion is just generally overlooked. He's like Rhetoric and Savoir Faire's lesser paid-attention to cousin- part of the persuasion gang. It could also just be that there are some heavy hitters in Psyche, and someone has to be last, so it may as well be him. Sorry, bud. I'd give your weird brain orb a little peck. His stat is boosted by Signal-Blue Naval Coat (+1), Interisolary Suit Jacket (+1)- the suit jacket isn't bad, but the naval coat doesn't exactly say "seduction". REASONS YOU VOTED: suggestion#gotta get what you want

SUGGESTION!#a smooth talker is just objectively sexy#de

Coming in at number 5, with 10% of the votes (69 overall, nice) we've got Authority! Man, this was my vote. I was surprised to see how low he placed. I get it though, honestly. All about intimidation and assertion, that can get overwhelming pretty fast. He also probably wouldn't take kindly to having the dynamic flipped around on him- couldn't switch it up, it could get stale fast. And those eyes… not exactly dreamboat material. Having someone big and strong push you around isn't everyone's cup of tea, especially if, let's be honest, that big strong guy is kind of an asshole. Well, at least he know he's not closed off to the idea of putting stuff up the butt- so long as it has something to do with honor! His stat is boosted by Fairweather T-500 Greaves (+2) and RCM Lieutenant's Cap (+1) Cool boots! And I like the hat! I really do like the hat… REASONS YOU VOTED:

authority sorry because i like being told what to do lol

"authority - kim" Coming in at number 4, with 11% of the votes (76 overall) we have Esprit De Corps! Esprit De Corps was one that I had a difficult time finding the appeal of, but honestly, I can see it. The ghostly apparition and blending of facial features certainly is memorable and unique in the aesthetic department. There's something to be said here is that there's many of them-you'll never be alone, for sure, and that kind of intimacy and companionship is sexy. Maybe there could be a bit of a voyeurism thing going on, peeking into the lives of other officers… much to consider. Who says you should keep work and pleasure separate? Have fun with those handcuffs and leather boots! Their stat is boosted by RCM Commander's Jacket (+1), RCM Patrol Cloak (+1), Disco-Ass Blazer (+1). Fuck YES! All iconic, all good looking. REASONS YOU VOTED:

edc because um. um. because uhhhm#well#warm smile emoji

esprit de corps#theres more of them and they know me the best uwu

esprit de corps#sorry I love being close to Kim#he’s my everything

Coming in at number 3, with 18% of the votes (126 overall) is Empathy! Another situation where I'm surprised they didn't rank higher- but again, our next two competitors are tough competition. Empathy is undoubtedly lovely. TLC is their middle name. Get ready to feel doted on, pampered, etc. etc. They're attentive, considerate, would know where all those sweet spots are, for sure- but honestly, I think they would be stone. It would be all about you, and unless you're a pillow princess, I can see that being unsatisfying. Aesthetically, they are a treat to look at. Those softly shut eyes, the long fingers folded over broad shoulders… they're simply warm and welcoming! That's probably why they didn't claim first- they don't have that spark. Doesn't exactly scream "sexy" to me, but if you think being with them wouldn't be the most pleasant thing in the world, you can hop off my blog. Their stat is boosted by Army Surplus Winter Scarf (+2), Mesque Banger's Red Brogues (+1), Jamrock Biker-Cop Sunnies (+1), Pinball Maker's Coat (+1). Again- not sexy, but for sure nice to look at. REASONS YOU VOTED:

empathy can know that someone is so horny they could die

empathy is my main bitch I pick it every run I play#empathy is so hot

close call between empathy and inland empire but i have to pick empathy…#he's just :((( he notices…..

though close second is empathy#love his soft voice

Coming in at number 2, with 25% of the votes (175 overall) is… Volition! The ultimate good guy. Extremely sane. Volition is the voice of reason in a room full of 23 unhinged idiots. You know he's got the willpower, the drive, the control to make it happen, and that level of competence is alluring. Say what you will about him, but he would know what to do. He's got that crown for a reason- dude is a king, and a good chunk of people in my notes know it! That is pretty sexy- but at a certain point, sanity can get boring. There will be care there, he can get pretty bog-standard. Volition would fuck you like he respects you, every time, which isn't always what you'd want- that doesn't keep him from being the kind of guy you could take to meet your parents. Whatever this guy does to you will DEFINITELY be a morale boost, even if it is pretty vanilla. His stat is boosted by Eight-Eyed Teratorn Tie (+1) and Fairweather T-500 Cuirass (+1). Who isn't a fan of a guy in armor? REASONS YOU VOTED:

but volition yeah. hot damn

volition. easy.

volition. sorry. when volition went ‘good theory you have there. would be a shame if something happened to it’ like. yeah. made it for me

all of them#but volition is my love

volition my beloved

volition#I mean come on it’s him!#I love him he always got Harry’s back#plus he can be pretty funny too with his dry scarcasm

volition will treat you right idk what else to say#probably really good with the praise kink lmao

"Volition. I like the strong will." "I picked Volition, but honestly I don't think sexy is a fitting descriptor for any of these ones. Suggestion was my first thought, but honestly I find his persona pretty goofy. I love Inland Empire, but he evokes more wistfulness than anything else. Even Volition isn't sexy to me, really - he's just compelling. But the quiet tragedy of willpower overwhelmed by circumstance is as close to sexy as this bunch gets, imo" (I think this is EXTREMELY accurate and I fully agree.) And our winner for sexiest Psyche skill, with 27% of the votes (188 votes overall) is…. INLAND EMPIRE! It was pretty close between Volition and Inland for a while there, but our favorite little petri dish pulled through. A dreamer! Enchanting in their language, absurd in all the right ways. It would always be new and exciting with Inland. Maniac Pixie Dream Skill, and I mean that in the best way. So puzzing and interesting, I want to see what would happened if I tried to smooch their… face? Don't know what to call it. Honestly, I think a lot of object-head people voted in this poll. No shame. Hard to go wrong with whatever's going on here, it really does work. Talk about fantasy made real! Their stat is boosted by Sunglasses Sub-Insulindic Rendezvous (+1), Horrific Necktie (+1), Eight-Eyed Teratorn Tie (+1) The Horrific Necktie himself! How could you not trust a glowing endorsement like that? REASONS YOU VOTED:

hear me out… yes they’re all lil freaks HOWEVER#inland empire#inland empire will show u other worlds#will take u places u didn’t know u could go!!

inland empire baby girl

inland empire forever baby

Inland Empire#Something which understands both itself and you on a fundamental level

PHYSIQUE RESULTS: Coming in at number 6, with 5% of the votes (37 overall) we have Endurance. Not too shocked that Endurance ranked so low. Sure, he's all about persevering and enduring, so you could get real tantric with him- that is, if you ever even got to that place with him. He's a mouthpiece for facism, he hates women… not sexy. Not sexy at all. Repugnant, even. You'd have to focus entirely on his buff bod in order to get any sex appeal out of him, and even then, that's not easy! The geometry of the body in his portrait is a bit difficult to decipher…. is that one big pec right in the center? What's the thing where his head should be. Hard-body types are all the rage, but this one could do with a little softness. For someone so strong, he really is floundering a bit. His stat is boosted by the FRITTTE Plastic Rain Coat (+1)… and thats it. Just a raincoat. Endurance, come on, man. REASONS YOU VOTED:

but wow I'm shocked endurance is so low (wasn't even someone who voted for endurance. just the only time someone talked about him.)

Coming in at number 5, with 8% of the votes (60 overall) we have Physical Instrument. Another instance where I'm not too surprised. Dude just doesn't have the special sauce- he's just fuckmuscle. Yeah, he's got the strength, he's got the power, but I think if you couldn't keep up with him, he'd leave you in the proverbial dust. (also i'm afraid he would keep up the "coach" talk in bed.) The way he talks is degrading, and not in the fun hot way. Not very sexy. Undeniable prowess though! His stat is boosted by FALN Modular Track Pants (+1), T-Shirt Man From Hjelmdall (+1), White Tank Top (+1) If you're into the sport aesthetic, then coach is gonna make you sweat. REASONS YOU VOTED:

HOW ARE YALL SLEEPING ON PHYSICAL INSTRUMENY

physical instrument baybee

difficult#I picked physical instrument because I'm really feeling the muscular body presence but its actual voice is definitely not the sexiest

electricrochemistry is too much about you and will make you nut immediately. you need physical instrument to fuck. motion in the ocean.

Coming in at number 4 with 9% of the votes (67 overall) we have Half-Light! Gonna be real with you. I didn't understand any of the appeal at first- in fact, I thought this guy would be dead last. But then I thought about it more- the thrill of the chase, fear and pleasure, the adrenaline rush… yeah. Okay, I get it. Half Light has got a look in his foggy eyes and gritted teeth that says he has nothing to lose, and he's gonna bust every nut like it's his last. Fight, flight, or fuck. Doesn't hit every base for what makes something sexy, but what he does have is undeniable. It's raw, it's primal, and it can be pretty hot. His stat is boosted by Fairweather T-500 Helmet (+1), FALN Faln Windbreaker (+1), Leather Jacket Fuck the World (+1), FALN Ultra Series Gloves (+1), Itchy Pants (+2). A very interesting outfit. REASONS YOU VOTED:

half-light my ancient greek speaking boy…

listen. i know it should be electrochem or shivers#but half light 🤤🤤🤤

Coming in at number 3 with 12% of the votes (89 overall) is Pain Threshold! Come on, y'all. You know why he's here. How in depth do I need to go with this one? A sadomasochist's dream. Someone who's able to dish it out as hard as they can take it. With this one, it's pure physicality. While BDSM can be very emotionally intimate, I get the feeling he's not feeling the burn because he wants to get closer to you. One final word: penetration. His stat is boosted by FALN Faln Windbreaker (+1), Mesque Banger's Silk Scarf (+1), Fairweather T-500 Cuirass (+1). Not gonna lie. That fit kind of slays. REASONS YOU VOTED: "Pain threshold because don’t worry about it"

pain threshold because I’m a masochist lol

it's literally pain threshold guys

Coming in at number 2 with 28% of the votes (208 overall) we've got Electrochemistry! Echem and our finalist were fucking neck and neck for so long, it was a sight to behold. He's a fan favorite, competing against another fan favorite. Unfortunately, (and shockingly!) Electro did not come out on top- but that doesn't mean they aren't a veritable powerhouse of sex. A creature made to indulge! He's emblematic of all things hedonistic, the pursuit of pleasure, literally the one that drives Harry to drink and smoke and fuck like it's his only purpose. He is down to clown until he's in the ground. You KNOW they would be into just about anything you put in front of them. I don't have to explain why he's sexy. Also, tentacles? Tentacles. We've all just collectively agreed that those are tentacles. His stat is boosted by Fingerless Gloves (+1), Flare-cut Trousers (+1), Pour L'Homme Labourer Jeans (+1), Shades of Self-Destruction (+1), Party Dragon's Silk Robe (+1) God damn! His outfit literally includes jeans that make your ass look better. It doesn't get more clear than this. REASONS YOU VOTED:

echem of course. do i even need to elaborate

electrochem and shivers rank equally to m

electrochemistry#i would eat his he/him pussy<3

i picked electrochemistery because tentacles and also it's literally the sexy skill

look I really like shivers but I love electrochemistry an obviously unhealthy amount

And our winner for sexiest Physique skill, with a whopping 38% of the votes (282 votes overall) is… SHIVERS! Well, Revachol loves us, and we sure do seem to love her back. It's hard to formulate just what Shivers is- she's a city, she's a feeling, she is the rain on the pavement, she is the wind on the back of your neck, she is empty apartments and dilapidated docks, she is people and animals and plants- but most important of all is that she is sexy. Her voice? Gorgeous. The open-endedness of it all, of what she looks like, how she appears, the idea that she surrounds you and truly does care for you- there's no other way to say it. It gives you shivers. That chill down your spine… that's hot. That's why I personally picked Shivers. An eldritch thing, unknowable and vast, loving me? I'll swoon. You'd be cared for, and being cared for is sexy. You'd never be alone. She'd be all around you, guiding you, knowing you intimately, because you are a part of her. And as for the sexual aspect of it… completely fucking unpredictable what would go on there, and you know what, I'm willing to dive headfirst into that mystery. Yeah, I'll fuck a city. Sounds good. Her stat is boosted by RCM Patrol Cloak (+1), Polar Anorak (+1), Scented Scarf (+1), T-Shirt Man From Hjelmdall (+1). All these clothes will keep you warm. I like to think the t-shirt is like a girlfriend t-shirt you stole from her. Cute! REASONS YOU VOTED: "shivers is like dating an ancient deity" "I picked Shivers, and this was actually the easiest vote for me to make. Of course it's Shivers! Physical Instrument is my favorite physique skill but it's because he's funny, not sexy. Electrochemistry is like a combination of Suggestion and Volition to me - silly and also sad. But Shivers is such a fascinating, strange, attention-grabbing presence. The drama of it all!!! Not Drama drama, but rather drama as a byproduct of magic. It's incredibly sexy"

i think shivers could take good care of you..

SHIVER SWEEP#ive never wanted to sleep with The Wind so bad man i swear to god

shivers#source: she lives in my brain

shivers#knows how to make me shiver owo

shivers#hands down it’s shivers#she is the voice of the city#I NEED YOU. YOU CAN KEEP ME ON THIS EARTH. BE VIGILANT. I LOVE YOU.

shivers. because city voice hot

where the hood where the hood where the hood at

electrochemistry you’re good but I will cut you down in shivers’s name

shivers cause revachol is. kind of a milf.

SHIVERSSWEEP#the city loves you. the city is part of you. you belong to each other so irrevocably#a huge complex system of nerve endings--of buildings of ruins of all that is gone and all that is left--every bit of it tuned in to you#a radio signal so great in scale#you just have to listen to it. to let that love (that understanding) wrap around you#the city lives because you live. broken and rotten but alive still. & it wants you to survive#also setting as a character is one of the sexiest concepts ever so. that helps.

SHIVERS SWEEP#(everyone who cares about de is in love w revachol/shivers and also is a lesbian gender neutral)

electrochemistry is the obvious option STRAY FROM THE PATH!!!#it’s shivers me timbers!!!

(also reading everyone in the tag going SHIVERSWEEP was really funny lmfao) MOTORICS RESULTS: Coming in at number 6 with 10% of the votes (66 overall) we've got Reaction Speed. I feel like Motorics as a skill group already kind of get shafted. They all kind of blur into each other- and speaking of blurring, Reaction Speed is unfortunately at the bottom. Quick to act and quick to talk, RS is all about making things happen fast. It's hard to think about "speed" and "sex" and not think "premature ejaculation". Poor fella just doesn't have much going on for him- any features we could have deemed attractive are out of focus. If you look close enough, you can see that his front-facing face does actually have a nice smile. Aw. I feel kind of bad for him. If only he wasn't darting around so much, I could give him a little smooch. Despite the fondness I feel, none of it could be considered sexy. His stat is boosted by Orange Bum Hat (+1), Royal Carabineer Pants (+1), FALN Ultra Series Sneakers (+1). Honestly? Kind of a fit. I'll throw you a bone there, bud. REASONS YOU VOTED:

ya'll mofukas not turned on by reaction speed are fucking lying(RS baby I am so sorry this is just the only thing someone said about you except someone saying you were " a close second" and I couldn't leave this section blank I'm so sorry) Coming in at number 4-5, another tie, with 14% of the votes (93 votes each) is Hand/Eye Coordination and Perception! It felt like H/E would rank higher, but honestly, tied for 4th/5th feels right. Undeniably good with his hands- that's his whole deal. Hands down (ha ha) he's got the technique! Not to mention, all those fingers, six fuckin pairs of hands to use… plus, Hand/Eye is canonically the jerk-off stat. By all accounts, he's got the resources, but again as with many of these skills, he doesn't have the spice. Okay, you've got the abilities- now make us want to see them in action! If only he were a bit more remarkable. Sorry, Handy. Get a bit more swagger and we'll give you another go of it. His stat is boosted by Pinball Maker's Coat (+1), FALN Arrower Shirt (+1), FALN Ultra Series Sneakers (+1). On the other hand, Perception has the opposite issue. She is all about noticing things. Attentive, primed to take in the senses that the world can afford to her. Where's the execution? We know she will notice how you're feeling and what you want, but what will she be able to do about it? Her appearance is interesting, foggy pillars of smoke coming from where her eyes and mouth would be, but honestly, that would make kissing kind of hard. Unless you've into having smoke shotgunned into your mouth constantly. In that case? Hot. I want to give her a little leg up just because of that. Her stat is boosted by Amphibian Sports Visor (+1) and Franconigerian Cavalry Boots (+1). Froggy visor and bear boots… definitely a good look, but not really a hot one. REASONS YOU VOTED:

as a pianist and a visual artist im a big fan of hand eye coordination

hand eye cuz i always forget to dump points in that stat and that's what my brain told me to say

h/e c. not because of the shooting guns and shit. but because. yk. :))

hand/eye coordination#reaction speed is a close second#you know :)

perception all day every day baby#sensory#y'know?

perception… I guess.#I have yet to convince myself to start a game with high motorics so I don't think I've seen these guys at their best#but Noticing is sexy

Coming in at number 3 with 15% of the votes (100 overall) is Composure! Composure, to me, is THEE sexiest stat. Everything about them is so perfect to me. The ability to keep one's cool in a frantic situation. The hot hooked nose. The association with Kim. I could go on, but they got third, so I can't. They absolutely have what it takes to be sexy- but I do understand, keeping it together all the time would stop being sexy after a while. Ohhh, but breaking them would be so rewarding! I have to stop. They've got a strong visual appearance that is just. Chef's kiss. Good shit. Again, I think they deserve first, but our next two competitors are hard to beat. Their stat is boosted by Dynamic Winderbreaker Surf (+1), Polar Anorak (+1), Green Snakeskin Shoes (+1), Regular Black Jeans (+1) which is honestly just like. a good outfit lmao REASONS YOU VOTED:

i think i gotta go composure bc composure will fuck you the most out of any of these stats

composure#because the concept of composure failing to hold everything together#issssss hot sorry

composure bc thats kims highest stat thank you

"Composure. Dignity is sexy."

Coming in at number 2 with 19% of the votes (126 overall) we've got Interfacing! Finger-boy! Where as H/E is undoubtedly good with his hands, Interfacing has his specialty being toys and machines; the "prop" possibilities are endless. Uniquely capable in a way that the other motorics skills aren't- with items and machines, being able to wield proficiencies in The physical look of him in his portrait clearly shows an intent concentration with whatever he's interfacing with, hooded eyes, hands delicately poised to touch the surface. He's kind of got a beard thing going on too, maybe that's just how I'm perceiving it, but there's a bit of like. Wizened energy there? I can see that being sexy. Also, something something, the eroticism of machines. His stat is boosted by Yellow Gardening Gloves (+1) and Fairweather T-500 Gauntlets (+2). Kind of funny that his stat is only boosted by gloves.

REASONS YOU VOTED: "I picked Interfacing. Savoir Faire is another skill that I love but simply find silly. I also considered Composure, but that's another one that I find sad and sweet rather than sexy. Interfacing's detail-oriented nature is sexy to me in the same way as Visual Calculus (Also Interfacing is the most autistic skill and that adds a lot to the sexy factor /j)" "interfacing - good w hands" "Interfacing be doing something with their hands I guess"

interfacing <3#bc machines are sexy and interfacing is good with machines

I personally chose composure as my pick for sexiest but all of the Interfacing truthers are so fucking correct.#Unbelievably sexy. I got converted by the tags.

interfacing. the human body is a machine you have explored and know so well

it's gotta be interfacing#it's gotta be!!!!#the eroticism of looking at the body like a machine#of poking around someone's body like it's a machine. taking them apart just to find out how they tick#bonding with kim over machine facts!!!!#THE NICKNAME OF FINGERBOY!!!#COME ON!#IT'S INTERFACING.#IT HAS TO BE

interfacing#knows how to push my buttons???

I think interfacing is the fingering skill.

interfacing is by far the sexiest

interfacing!!!!!#can't explain why. i'm just right

interface with the hole

interfacing#interfacings whole deal is figure out how things work#interfacing could take u apart and put u pack together

And our winner for sexiest Motorics skill with 28% of all votes (186 overall) is Savoir Faire! I was, again, a little shocked at this one. Really? Torso-guy? Looks wise, he's not bad, all those arms definitely make for an interesting silhouette. But the real draw is entirely in the attitude. You can't deny the weight of his slimy, slick, disco seduction power. A smooth operator through and through. There's something to be said about the innate charm of a sleazeball- and this dude is just dripping with it! His stat is boosted by Oversized Superstar Sunglasses (+1) FALN Modular Track Pants (+1). Superstar sunglasses and gray sweatpants. God damn, Savvy. REASONS YOU VOTED:

glad savoir faire is winning… this torso!

savour faire#i will not elaborate#but.#wink wonk

savvy. hes got that slimy swagger

…And that's everybody! Some results were surprising, some were expected, but all of it felt. Educational. Would love to hear everyone's opinions on this lmao.

[bee-saucee]

5 Things Shinsou & Kaminari Can't Live Without | GQ

Warnings for mentions of sexual content and ShinKami! This is supposed to be like GQ's 10 things blank live without videos. I used to love watching these in high school and thought it would be fun to write a version with Shinsou and Kaminari! 10 felt like too much for each of them, so I went with 5 each. It's as if they filmed two separate videos back to back. Enjoy!

“I managed to get my husband to drink some of this coffee without a pound of sugar in it and he almost liked it which I think speaks for its impeccable flavor and quality itself.”

*Intro*

“Hello GQ, my name is Hitoshi Shinsou, and today I'll be sharing five pretty important things to me.”

Essential one: Organic cat food

“So, this is really more of an essential for my spoiled kittens, but being a good parent to my cats is what keeps me mentally stable, so I’m counting it. My husband Denki and I are trying to eat more clean and so naturally our cats have to as well. When I saw all of the preservatives and fake shit in the old cat food brand we had, I instantly knew we had to switch. So after some research and testing out different brands on our little guys, Tender and True Organic Cat Food is the pick. They also raise their cage-free chickens humanely so it was a must.”

Essential two: Hand balm

“My dad actually put me on to this one. We’re both pro heroes and we both use capture scarves, but it can leave me with lots of cuts, calluses, and rug burn if I’m using it a lot. I’ve been training with him since high school and I knew that I accepted him as my adoptive father the moment he shared this hand balm with me. He actually gets it specially made by our old school nurse so this is some top secret stuff. She formulated it to heal any problems we might have with our hands. I keep telling her she needs to patent this shit or something and sell it en masse, but she’s currently bent on just making vats of it for my father and I. She also refuses pay, but she loves peach tarts so we always bring her enough to feed a small village when we pick some up.”

Essential three: Stoneware mug

“So I’m very much into coffee. And one thing I’ve come to learn after years of drinking way too much of it is that drinking coffee isn’t just about what’s in the cup, but the entire experience. A large part of said experience is the cup itself. It changes the taste and there are even psychological influences with colors and such.”

“I’ve been building up a collection of different mugs of various types to properly suit the coffee drinking experience I want at any given time, but I really just wanted a mug that felt right for me. The right width and height, handle, material, all that. So I knew what I wanted, but when I went searching I could not find the right mug to save my life."

"I wind up mentioning my mug debacle on Twitter and one of my fans reaches out to me and they say ‘hey, I make pottery, I can custom make you mugs.’ You can imagine my excitement. So we talk, meet up, and they essentially fit this mug to my hand and all of my desired specifications. I commission them to make me a few of these stoneware mugs and they all have customized drawings on them. Like this one has our cats on it. I also had them make one for Denks. It has a chicken on it. Whenever I make him hot chocolate in the morning and hand it to him in that mug he’s like ‘oh fuuucckk, it’s a chicken mug day?!?!’ That means it’s gonna be a good day to him.”

Essential four: Coffee

“Bet you couldn’t see this one coming. I usually work nights but have to be quite alert so coffee is my stimulant of choice. I decided I’d use my status as a pro hero for personal gain and create and sell my perfect cup of coffee. It’s fair trade, organic, comes in three different flavors and has…a lot of caffeine. One of the best things about having my own coffee brand is that I get to try a shit ton of samples and get on PR lists for different coffee companies. Needless to say our home always smells like coffee.”

Essential five: Animal crackers

I don’t really know how this started. But I’m thoroughly addicted to animal crackers. Specifically, the ones that come in the red box that looks like a little circus train car or whatever it’s supposed to be. It is the most boring yet immaculate snack food that has ever graced this planet. Whenever we go grocery shopping, I pick up 12 of these without fail. Denki is into the frosted ones now too and he always tells a story where our graham crackers fall in love before meeting a horrific end in our stomach acid. It started out being reminiscent of Romeo and Juliet but has morphed into being more akin to that movie featuring both Godzilla and King Kong framed as a tragic love story.”

“So those are my top five essentials exclusive of items necessary for basic human survival and well-being such as food, water, and shelter. Thanks for spending some time with me today.”

---

“I kind of had a breakdown before coming here because I have way more than five favorite things. I shit you not, I had a tear forming in my eyeball because I had to leave behind my giant corn plushie. A complete and total tragedy for real.”

“Sup GQ?! It’s stun gun hero, Chargebolt but you can call me Denki. Today I’m gonna be showing you five of my most favorite things on the entire planet. Let’s rock and roll!”

*Intro*

Essential one: Chokers

“I couldn’t not talk about chokers. I love them so much. There’s just something about them that is so sexy but also badass. Like, please, look at my throat and wish you could bite it, you know? I like to switch up what choker I wear with my hero costume, but I also wear them when I’m off the clock. My husband Hitoshi, who by the way just did his interview and did such a good job your life will actually be ruined if you don’t watch his essential video too, likes to take me to concerts a lot so you know I’m pulling up in a choker every time. I even have this lacey one which I only wear when I’m really feeling my oats. So if you see me out wearing my lace choker you know it’s a super confident Denki day.”

Essential two: Lube

The lace choker thing was really to prep your mind for talking about lube because we gotta talk about fucking lube. There is something that is just so special and refined and intimate about having good, quality lube. I’m not just saying this because she’s a friend, but Midnight has a line of really high-quality lube. Don’t get me wrong, Toshi is good at sex but I swear whenever we use this stuff my soul leaves my body. So please, use lube and treat yourself to a really good quality lube. Miss Midnight even has flavored lube, so stop sleeping on it and pop that shiz in your cart.”

“This is also your regular sexual health reminder. Wrap it before you tap it, use dental dams or a properly cut condom when in a pinch, never use spit, and regularly get tested, alright, babes?”

Essential three: Bose SoundLink system

I’m always listening to something and I just really love music so I can appreciate a good speaker system. Toshi’s papa got us a whole set of these nice nice Bose SoundLink speakers that all sync up as a wedding gift. And you guys. Life changing experience for me and my little ears. When I am listening to music on speakers, a lot of the time I’m doing something where I’m moving between rooms like cleaning, chasing my husband around, dancing, all that. We have one in pretty much every room so the transition is seamless and Bose speakers are really good so I thank these speakers and Hitoshi’s papa every day.

Essential four: Fidget toys

“Okay so I really hate that these kind of got meme'd on because fidget toys are something I legitimately need and use. We have meetings every morning at my agency and holy fuck my ADHD brain struggles with it sometimes. I also use them when we’re walking around during patrol sometimes and for paperwork. No one talks about how much fucking paperwork comes with being a hero, but there is so much paperwork. Like, at least digitalize it y’all. Save the trees, you know?”

“Anyway, I have a lot of different fidget toys, but I’ve really been into this one that’s like a joystick. It’s a bit quieter than this clicky cube one, for instance. So it’s really perfect for meetings and stuff to just have in my pocket.”

Essential five: Hitoshi Shinsou

Denki whacks a seat that has been added next to him. “C’mere sweetcheeks.”

Shinsou groans off camera before sliding into the seat next to Denki who instantly latches onto him.

“Okay, so he looks a little put out because we specifically agreed that we weren’t going to put one another on our lists. But I just couldn’t leave out my little love muffin, so say hi to my fifth essential, my husband Hitoshi,” Denki says.

“I promise I love my husband. Even if I don’t break rules and add him to my essential list.”

“He does love me very much,” Denki gushes as he rubs the tip of his nose against Shinsou’s.

“You’re going to make everyone projectile vomit, Denks.”

“That would be kind of cool though-”

“-No it wouldn’t.”

“Hear me out, hear me out. A headline: pro heroes Chargebolt and Mindjack make everyone forcibly vomit watching sickeningly sweet interview.”

“Well shit, we have to keep it up then,” Shinsou exclaims.

“Guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do. I just love my bubs dearly. I think we really balance one another out and bring out the best in one another. It’s one of those things where I’m like who the fuck was I before he was fucking me, you know? But also not just that. I just wanted to say that because it has a flow. He also emotionally supports me a lot and has changed me for the better by just being his super rad self.”

“I honestly don’t think I’m capable of loving another person as much as I love Denki," Shinsou says softly.

Denki smiles big and kisses Shinsou’s cheek over and over. “Alright GQ, I gotta get my introvert home and cuddle the living hell out of him because he’s being an extra big sweetie today.”

“It’s at home date night,” Shinsou states.

“Running home. Booking it. You could even call it sprinting. The… 15-mile dash back home for at home date night. Anyway– thanks for letting us chill with you, GQ! It’s been real! And thank you for watching! Byeee!”

Thanks for reading! ( ͡ಥ‿ ಥ)━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

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[randomcollectionitem]

clipping. - Face

https://www.discogs.com/release/11980126-Clipping-Face

Hey, we finally had a record show up! This is the 2018 vinyl reissue of the 2012 debut EP from beloved industrial rap trio Clipping (they stylize it as "clipping." but it fucks up my formatting mojo so I'm sticking to the capital C for this one). The A side is the original 3 track tape, and the B side is remixes and an acapella. This version was released by Deathbomb Arc, the same label that put out the original EP.

I was a little late to the Clipping party and got on board with them shortly after the release of their semi-self-titled debut album, CLPPNG. CLPPNG dropped right after Death Grips broke up and the hype surrounding Clipping on the internet was mostly /mu/ posters heralding them as The Next Death Grips. I always thought that comparison was questionable. Outside of a vague sense of being in the same genre they don't share a lot of DNA, with Clipping pulling heavily from harsh noise and power electronics in contrast to Death Grips' sample-heavy sound fueled by math rock-adjacent live drums. Regardless, the JENNY DEATH WHEN era hype train brought Clipping in front of a relatively big audience of outsider rap nerds looking for another hit of bizarre sounds, and they brought it in spades. After listening to CLPPNG an embarrassing number of times I worked my way back to midcity (their first mixtape) and Face. Face really stuck with me, so I was thrilled to see it reissued in 2018 and picked it up immediately.

The original EP is a short-but-sweet three song affair that wastes no space and takes no prisoners. The opening track, the eponymous Face, is a blistering assault of lighting fast bars, blasts of noise, and a catchy x-rated chorus. It's followed by Studio Freestyle 01, which serves as a sort of mental breather in the middle of the list (as much of one as Clipping will give you at least), with mid-tempo freestyle verses alternating call-and-response style with bursts of harsh noise. The EP rounds out with Block, my personal favorite track from the project. Block showcases Daveed Diggs' uncanny ability to make even the smallest things seem profound and significant. A song about nothing becomes a song about everything as he paints a picture of a city block on top of a slow-burning beat. There are no characters. There is no action and no narrative. And that's the beauty of it.

The B side is a collection of remixes backed with an acapella of the first track. I'm normally not a huge fan of remixes, but the selection here is a fun listen. The first two are remixes of the title track, with the first turning it into a stompy industrial club tune and the second chopping it into a wall of samples (including a shockingly straight-faced interpolation of Gangnam Style, and a slightly less straight-faced interlude of the intro to Never Gonna Give You Up). This is followed by Clipping's remix of This Song Is A Drug Deal, by LA noise rock drum-and-shout group Foot Village. It chops up the spastic drums from the original song and uses them as a bed for some verses from Daveed. The side closes out with the acapella of Face, not exactly critical listening but I'm glad it's out there for DJs and remix artists to take advantage of.

As previously mentioned, the copy in front of me is the 2018 Deathbomb Arc vinyl issue, the only vinyl issue to date. The 2012 original pressing was only on cassette, and this deluxe reissue was also available on cassette with an expanded tracklist containing additional Face remixes. I opted for the vinyl version because, frankly, I lived through tapes the first time around; they sucked then, they suck now, and part of me withers away every time I have to buy a new one. Regardless, the vinyl edition is simple but well-presented. The album art still looks good when blown up to 12"x12", and they did a nice job typesetting the back cover. It includes a download code for the download-inclined, and opts for a polybag rather than a paper inner (I breathe a sigh of relief every time I open a new record and don't need to immediately resleeve the LP, records are too damn expensive now for these labels to cheap out with the crappy paper inners that shed everywhere and scuff your new record up). The pressing is fairly shallow, but my copy plays well with little to no surface noise. The sound is a bit dull, but it's not exactly a hi-fi recording in the first place so I'm not going to complain. No inserts or liner notes on this one, but an EP doesn't really need all that anyways. Overall I think they've done a nice job with the reissue.

I think the beauty of Face is that it paints a fairly complete picture of Clipping in only 3 tracks. You have the high energy sonic assaults, you have the artsy contemplation, and you have the fearless harsh noise and power electronics interludes. While it's not their most essential work, if you want a short elevator pitch for why you should care about Clipping, this is it. A great start to a legendary career. Rest assured, if I keep doing this long enough we'll see plenty of other Clipping releases in the future, so strap in for some more noise rap greatness down the road. In the meantime, may your music stay pleasantly abrasive and may your preferred genitals be in your face.

[jimblejamblewritings]

romeo and...cullen? | part 16.

Summary: Y/N Cullen, youngest in both actual age and last to be turned in the Cullen clan. Her world is turned upside down when Bella Swan enters her family’s life, because Bella doesn’t bring just herself but drags some of her friends into the Cullen’s life as well.

Warnings for the Series: light violence, light angst, light smut

Pairing: Jacob Black x reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

The rest of your siblings waited with you and Jacob in the living room for Carlisle. If vampires could cry, Rosalie would be bawling her eyes out on the floor. No one knew what was wrong with you but it was clear it couldn’t have been good. You had been having weird variations in your vampirism since you were bit but they hadn’t become truly noticeable or a problem till seventeen years ago.

Carlisle immediately ushered you to his at-home office when he got home. You went through all the standard tests. Carlisle checked your eyes, ears, skin, reflexes. You seemed fine.

“(Y/N), I’m gonna have to draw blood.”

The request seemed almost ridiculous to Carlisle but he had seen you bleed before with his own two eyes. When Carlisle went to poke you with the needle, it wouldn’t go through the skin, not easily. You still had tougher skin like a vampire.

“I’m gonna have to bite you.”

You nodded as Carlisle bit your wrist. Some blood leaked out and Carlisle collected it. You scrunched up your nose, for the first time in a long time you could clearly smell blood. You could smell a lot. You walked back into the living room where all eyes turned on you.

“We’re gonna have to wait a few hours while dad looks at the sample.”

You went upstairs to change into fresh clothes before going back downstairs. You sat next to Jacob who laced his fingers through yours. Edward’s head snapped up.

“She’s not gonna die, Jacob.”

“Hmm?” You looked between your boyfriend and your brother.

“He’s worried about you… and if you die, he might too,” Edward read what was on Jake’s mind.

“Jacob, what?”

Before he could explain, Leah and Seth came bursting through the front door of your house quickly followed by the rest of the pack. Your siblings held their breath so as not to make any rude comments.

“Jacob’s thoughts are loud as hell, what’s this about you dying?!” Leah pulled you into a death grip.

“Leah, I’m fine. But…” you turned back to Jacob. “What is Edward talking about you dying.”

“It’s the imprint,” Sam explained. “It’s one thing to be rejected by the imprint. It’s a pain deeper than heartbreak but something the wolf learns to accept for their imprint’s happiness. But if you die, the break of that bond is so painful it could literally kill a wolf.”

Emmett huffed, “Why imprint if it comes with all these complications.”

“Billy thinks it has something to do with the primal side. Something about the wolf finding the best pairing to pass on the gene.”

“Then (Y/N)’s the worst option out there. Vampires can’t have children,” Rosalie spoke up. She would know, a baby was something Rosalie had wanted so bad in her human life.

Carlisle came out of the office. “I don’t understand. The tests are the same as before, you’re perfectly healthy (Y/N). Above average even.”

“I think I figured it out.” Edward had been sitting quietly, probing everyone’s minds to find out what was happening to his sister.

“I think it’s the imprint.”

“The imprint, Ed?” you looked at your brother confused.

“If Billy’s theories are true then what would be stronger than something half werewolf half vampire—”

“But I can’t have children.”

“I think it’s turning you partially human.”

“How?”

“How do I read minds? How can Jake turn into a wolf or Alice see the future? I think it just is what it is.”

Everyone looked at Edward like he was crazy. Of course there was no rulebook to the supernatural world but for you to be turning back, that was crazy.

“Think about it. You’re fast like us, strong like us, heightened senses, tougher skin. But you get bruised now, you bleed. You can go out in the sun unlike the rest of us. You drink blood because you have to but the taste disgusts you and now you can have a period again. It’s turning you as human as it can while keeping the best parts of a vampire.”

“So I’m not going to die?”

“I don’t think so.”

You breathed out a sigh of relief. Sam turned to Carlisle wondering if he had ever heard of anything like that before. Carlisle hadn’t but it wasn’t entirely impossible. They watched as your eyes fluttered closed before you quickly reopened them. It seemed your body was trying to compensate for the years of sleep it had missed all in one night.

“If you’re tired, go take a nap (Y/N).”

“I’m good. What does this mean about the fight?”

“No way. We don’t know how human you are or are still becoming. You stay with Bella.”

~~

You went around with Bella helping her mark parts of the battle field with her blood before returning to Jacob and Seth. They were going up the mountain with you guys to help cover Bella’s scent as you led her to a place safely away from the battle. Edward would meet her up there in a few hours, after the scent of wolf was firmly set on your trail.

“Are you all set?” Jacob asked as you guys waited in the tent.

“I’m fine, just wish I could join the fight. You and Seth should get down before the storm hits.”

“No, we’re staying. You need our connection to the pack to see what’s going on.”

“You’re not gonna fight?”

“Not till the end, Seth’s gonna stay here the whole time though. Your brother needs to be able to see how the scene’s playing out.”

Morning of the battle came quicker than you would’ve liked.

“Jacob just got there, he’s fine.” Edward was in charge of the play by play. Your brother’s face scrunched in worry.

“Is someone hurt?” Bella asked.

“She’s close! Seth go! Shit, she knew we weren’t there but she caught my scent. She knows you’re with me.”

“It’s okay, Ed. We can protect, Bells.” You put a hand on your brother’s shoulder. “Can’t be that hard to take down one redheaded bitch.”

“She’s not alone.”

Right as Edward said that, Riley Biers appeared. It was three versus two. You should’ve had the advantage but Seth was a new wolf and you were this weird human hybrid that was getting used to your new life. You weren’t losing but the tables could turn at any moment. Everyone’s heads turned and yours quickly followed.

Bella was holding a bloody rock in her hand and you could see a cut on her arm. Just like the Third Wife story that Billy had told. It was exactly what you needed. The cut distracted both Riley and Victoria as Seth took care of Riley while you and Edward tag teamed Victoria.

Edward held his breath as he ripped part of Bella’s jacket to make a bandage for her cut. Seth walked up to Edward.

“Alice needs us to go, now.” Edward read Seth’s mind.

The battle was winding down as you arrived. You heard the wolves growl and looked to see Leah going after one of the few newborns left.

“Leah, don’t!” Edward yelled.

Jacob took off to protect Leah. The newborn wrapped around Jacob’s midsection and squeezed tight.

“Jake!” you screamed and raced to where Jacob’s human body was curled up on the ground in pain.

“The Volturi are coming, you need to get out of here,” Edward said to the wolves.

They phased back and helped you carry Jacob back to Billy’s house. The wolves watched as you sat in a chair by the end of Jake’s bed. You covered your ears tightly as Carlisle reset the bones, Jacob screaming as each bone was rebroken. Embry hugged you as best as he could and rubbed your back. They knew how strong a bond could be between imprints but because you were supernatural as well, it seemed like you could feel his pain as much as the wolf could feel yours.

“I’m trying to help him but his body temperature seems to wear off the morphine faster than I can give it to him,” Carlisle stood up and explained to Sam and Billy. “His ability should have him heal soon but I’m afraid I might not be able to do much for the pain.”

“No, but it looks like she can.” Paul motioned to where you were sitting.

You had a hand on Jacob’s leg, just gently brushing your hand back-and-forth. It was something your real mother used to do to comfort you. The wolves could feel Jacob’s pain lessen.

“Would that be the imprint?” your father asked.

“No. That would be all (Y/N)… it’s not the first time this has happened. She calmed him down mid-phasing once.”

Carlisle seemed to freeze in thought. “She does that with Edward and Jasper’s powers as well.”

“Is this another weird thing with me?” you asked. You looked over to Carlisle. Jacob groaned in pain until your hand touched him again.

“I don’t think my immense self-control is your power. I think it’s the ability to subdue. That’s why your brothers cling to you. You can dull senses.”

“That’s a good thing right?”

“For Jake’s sake,” Sam said from behind Carlisle. “I think that’s a pretty damn good thing.”

(Part 17)...

[frogskelton]

Part 3 of Team Chris is rlly smoking hot x Scooby do fanfic is here, because u were so nice ((:

PLEASE READ

This chapter explores themes of ableism against autistic people and the condescension that can with the infantilization of autistic people and this can be a very personal subject matter, so I feel everyone deserves a heads up

First if u haven’t read part one here

Now onto the actual thing -

“I’ll show you all to the guest rooms.” Alejandro said rather sharply

“Wait will there be any cops here” Izzy finally stopped zooming round, staring at Alejandro, with unwavering focus, still as Midas’s daughter.

“Uhh, probably, though it probably won’t be for a while at least”

“Uuuhhh, they’re so useless, we’ll have to avoid them, or get the meddling kids lecture, like I’m pretty sure our rate of actually solving mysteries is better than their one in a million” Noah grumbled

“We’ve got a good amount of time befor-”

“Yeah, like a couple millenniums” Noah sarcastically quipped, with Alejandro giggling at his wit.

“So like a team we gotta go now so we avoid cops, let’s go!” Owen enthusiastically yelled

“Too loud, buddy, we don’t want anyone to hear us.” Noah whispered, putting a hand on Owen mouth, especially climbing on him to reach.

“If you see anyone head back to the spare rooms,” Alejandro said, “And Izzy can hide from the cops.” He finished, not giving Izzy a moment to butt in.

The room was rather big, filled with fancy wooden furniture, with patterns carved in. There was a collection of photos surrounding a bowl of fake fruit on the buffet positioned across from what had to be a king double bed. Lots of photos of Jose and another boy seemed like they were Alejandro’s brother, judging by another photo where the three of them were positioned together.

“Wow, fancy. If I knew you were this rich I might have swooned over you, too,” Noah said in a monotone voice.

“This room is just for Noah, Owen and Izzy,” Tyler said patiently, staring directly at Alejandro.

“Well, course you can sta-”

“In your room, with you??” Tyler, desperate excitement in his voice crescendoed as he inched closer the the somewhat startled boy

“In another guest room”

“How many guest rooms are in this house?” Noah quietly mumbled to Owen.

“Nah, that’s fine I can just stay in your room with you, since we are best buddies!’ Tyler staring so intently he probably could burst an eye vessel and eye contact so intimidating it could intimidate a statue.

“I mean it sounds like it would be an okay idea to stick together, you know with everything going on.” Owen said, patting Tyler on the shoulder. “Besides, Al, I don't like the way the thing was looking at you Owen shifted his attention to Alejandro standing cross-armed, with a frustrated childish expression. “Oh, Alejandro, sorry man.” Owen attempted to pat him on the back before Alejandro flinched away, attempting not to snarl at him.

“So, Izzy will stay with us cause I don’t think you two can survive her.” Noah said

“Yep, sounds good.” Tyler grabbing onto Alejandro’s hand.

“Well, th-”

“Just let him,” Noah said, cutting off Alejandro, causing him to sulk.

“Yes, yes, yes, we are gonna have so much fun.” Tyler excitedly bouncy around shaking Alejandro.

The night seemed long, the dark sky looming outside, as they waited for the coast to clear to go and investigate. Noah and Owen were in charge of viewing the primary scene, Tyler and Alejandro would keep watch down the halls and out the front for when/if the cops showed their piggy heads (since Alejandro knew the place best), while Izzy would go and collect samples (Who knows how she does it, but she always seems to get results.)

[All good??] Noah texted, getting bored half ready to already shove his head over the side and start shoveling evidence.

[Yes, so far so good.] Alejandro replied, [Though be wary my father is by the left wing down the hall.]

[ewww, forgot this is some family thing for you, it sounds weird u calling him father]

[Hahah, would you please gather some photos.] Alejandro texted back [By the way, the hall at the front and exit by the main stairs is probably best, prioritize speed]

[Yeah, yeah, I know what, you might be surprised other people have a brain as ] Noah texted, though Owen stopped him before he could continue. Noah crept over the banister tiptoeing down close near the stairs, like a slender cat. Leaning his top half over the banister and zooming in, with filming, changing to creeping down the staircase. “That’s weird,” Noah quietly whispered under his breath, fixated on something in the video. “What’s up little buddy?” Owen attempted to whisper back, though probably still speaking too loud.

“If it came from the outside, why did the glass not fall inside?” Noah smirked,

“So it must have come from the inside!” they said in unison, their excited voices fusing together.

standing up losing the cautiousness in his movement, standing up placing a hand, leaning on Owen,

“Heh, so it’s something wanting to think it came from the outside, but was already inside?” The cockiness radiating from his voice, somewhat losing that quietness. “Let’s see that freaking eel solve that one, all he’d do is try and flirt with the monster.” The cockiness quickly turned to mumbled pettiness. Owen reaches out a congratulatory fist bump. Pow!

“Oh shit,” Noah quickly threw out.

“Huh, what’s wrong?” Owen quietly panicked remembering they need to be quiet

“We need to get back, Tyler texted that Mr fancypants is coming our way.” Noah said paraphrasing, “He’ll meet as bac-” cut off by the sounds of muffled unintelligible yells, the anger still piercing through the walls.

“Shit.” Noah muttered,

“Al, would you just bugger off.” Jose yelled in spanish, frustrated, loud and tired. “Just leave, you’re just a kid getting in the way, like always do, can’t you jus-”

“I’m almost an adult and I can help! If you would quit treating me like some little kid and thinking you are so much better than me!” Alejandro cries out back.

“Al, FUCK OFF.”

Jose raised his voice to a stable pitch, staring down at Alejandro from his tall figure, the lights burning bright behind him. “Yeah, almost an adult, but when me and Carlos were 13 me and Carlos didn’t still have some obsession on childish fucking shit like dinosaurs.’’

He stepped forward, looming over Al, causing him to stumble back. “Me and Carlos didn’t fiddle with random shit and couldn’t even make decent eyeconnect till you were what? Like 14.”

His eyes didn’t blink, just flickered. “Me and Carlos don’t have whatever you have wrong with your brain,”

The harshness in his voice felt like fangs digging into Al’s flesh. “You just when you actually started trying to be your age just acted like some copycat of me.”

Alejandro didn’t respond. He just breathed heavily, holding back whatever emotions he could. Staring at Jose’s silhouette toppling over him against the burning light, unable to look up. Jose took a step back, sighing. “Al, I’m sorry, I just, I know it isn’t your fault.” He ran his fingers through his hair, tilting his head up, staring at the ceiling. “It’s just- I know because of your autism you can’t be like Carlos and I.” Looking down, seeing his brother, unable to look at him. “Al”

Attempting to put a hand on his brother to comfort him was quickly shaken off. Alejandro walking off.

“Really, fucking really? How the hell have I still failed to prove anything to you .” He said

He walked away trying not to sprint.

[zahroreadsthings]

The meeting...

Question: What do you do?

Response: Stay. I'm not five.

Check notes for previous instalment

Well, that was patronising. 'I'm staying, thanks. I'm not five.'

You point Hakim to a chair because Deema won't. 'Get settled, I'm gonna make tea.'

Over the sounds of the water boiling you hear Deema shutting down Hakim's attempts at small talk. Which you should have expected, really.

You arrange the teapot and cups on the tray faster than you should to get between them quicker.

'Tea's here,' you say to a round of silence. You set the tray between them and place Hakim's pastry on it. Neither he nor Deema pay it any mind.

'You have an impressive collection of tools,' Hakim tells Deema. 'It's been some years since I've seen some of these - I don't think I've ever seen a few at all.'

She stays silent.

'Which of these did you use to detect the cold front?'

'I don't need to tell you that,' she says shortly.

'The tea's getting cold,' you chip in unhelpfully.

Deema cradles her mug but makes no move to drink. Hakim takes a slow sip while he thinks of what to say next.

'The sigil you designed was beautifully crafted. Where did you learn?'

Deema finally softens a bit. 'I taught myself. Sigils were a favourite to experiment with.'

'And I'm sure your apprentice is learning plenty from you.'

'Yep,' you say into your mug.

Any goodwill he earned is lost immediately when he says his next words. 'Your apprentice could benefit from moving around and doing jobs with other witches.'

Before Deema can reply you cut in. 'I plan on picking up everything I can while you're all in town but I'm not following anyone out.'

'You've overstayed your welcome,' Deema says. She turns away.

You meet Hakim's confused eyes and point to the door with a shrug. He follows you outside. After you close the door behind you, you say, 'She's had a lot of apprentices leave her before and we get along great so... asking me to leave isn't... well, neither of us appreciate it.'

'Understood. You won't hear it from me again.' He sounds understandably upset, you think.

You watch him walk down the front yard and swing the gate closed behind him before you go back inside.

'That went -'

'About as well as I expected,' Deema says.

'He tried more than you,' you point out.

'He did,' she admits. She reluctantly adds, 'Thank you for the sample.'

'Hey, whenever.'

[simm-mouse]

It's been over three years since Nervous ran away, and the Beakers have run out of Nerv's blood that they had from the many tests that were run on him. The second clone is dead, so what do they do now? Well get more of course. However it doesn't have to be blood, any form of dna can work. They probably paid some schmuck to go get that because they don't want to look sus about it, also they don't have the time for that. The dude brought back one of those disposable cups that they took while hiding a dumpster waiting for Nerv to throw it in there. Since Nerv is a nasty man, the cup has a lot of spit. See I told you the cup was important. So they used all the spit they had collected to make a new Nervous clone. But there was an error as the cloning machine.So the cloning machine breaks down, fuck. Wait hold on, an actual clone was formed. The cloning machine also ages up the clone so it's the same age as Nerv, however the process stopped while it was in the infant stage. This clone looked different. It also looked like, Pascal Curious?

Turns out that cup was actually Pascal's, but Nervous wanted to try whatever he was drinking. Then gave it back all spitty and shit. Pascal doesn't want that back, you keep it ya nasty ass. That idiot who grabbed the cup appeared after Nervous had it back in his hand. The machine ended up mixing both their dna, and basically made a baby that was biologically related to them. It couldn't handle two dna samples so it broke. Well shit, what are they gonna do with it? Why isn't the baby moving, it's not even making a noise. Wait what time is it? Fuck, they're gonna be late of work if they don't hurry up. It seems the clone didn't even last a second, they need to fix the machine when they get off work. They'll just hide the failed clone in their trashcan and bury the body later in the backyard. Just like with the past two clones. After the Beakers drove off to their jobs, a half an hour had passed.

Pascal walking by the Beaker's home(Pascal seems like the type of guy who does morning walks), and hears crying. Sounds like it's coming from the trash can. He opens it and sees something moving in a trash bag. After opening it up, he finds an infant girl. What the fuck is going on? He picks up the infant and then immediately brings her back home while trying to comfort her. Nervous is confused on why there's a baby, are they babysitting for someone? Pascal explains what just happened, and Nerv immediately freaks out. What do they want with a baby? Were they experimenting on someone's child they kidnapped. At this point Nervous had regained most of his memories. This gave him flashbacks of when the Beakers kidnapped him while he was walking home. Pascal calmed down Nervous, it'll be okay. They have the baby, safe from those two monsters. Still, they'll have to take the child to the hospital to see if it has any problems. Tycho was still sleeping. Lazlo was asked to watch Tycho while they took this baby to get checked out. Good thing they still kept Tycho's old car seat.

Circe wasn't seen by them during their visit, so at least they wouldn't have to see her. After the infant was checked on, the doctor informed them that she was related to them both. Uh, excuse me what? How is that possible? Now there's more questions flooding in their heads than the ones they already had. Though it wasn't all that surprising, considering she did look like both of them. The infant also has a birth defect in her heart. The ventricular septal defect(VSD), which is one of the birth defects that has a hole in your heart. It required surgery, so she has a heart scar on her chest. Other than that, she seemed healthy. They can't just let this kid be put up for adoption, even if she wasn't related to them. For all they know, the Beakers would've gotten her back after finding out that she's still alive. So they decided to adopt and raise her. They ended up naming the child Lilibet

You may be thinking, why don't they call the police? Well, the Beakers probably have connections. So they wouldn't be seen as guilty of such a crime. They probably have tried before with Nervous. Trying to tell the police that they were the reason Nervous was kidnapped all those years ago. But nothing was done about it. Also the authorities are pretty shit there. How do you think Olive had those graveyards literally on her front lawn, and no one suspected it was her? Pretty sus if you ask me

Fucking finally, wow. Took longer than I thought. Like I said before, I wanted to remake this because it didn't really make any sense. I didn't further explain why both of their DNA was even in there I was just like "I don't know, it's a mystery lol". If I'm going make a backstory on a sim that was originally made just for fun and playing with genetics, then I'm gonna do it right. It was pretty busy yesterday so I only had time to make one drawing. It's Lil Curious snoozing after having surgery

Thank you for waiting patiently for me to finish this, and also reading this because it's a lot to read. After work I'll be back on doing those headshots, and making something for tomorrow

I also have linked posts related to this here:

[sansxfuckyou]

Fight fire with fire

Summary: Kyle is Kennys soulmate, the only problem with that is they both fall under the same ranking- it goes anywhere and everywhere but where Kenny expected when Kyle realizes it.

Warnings: Omegaverse, the talk, panic, check Ao3 port for full tags

Authors Note: *hits post button with the strength of a day old rat* day six woohoo. school is fucking me up big time, but i did draw something semi-artistic in advance so no fic tomorrow. hope ya'll enjoy this one, if you do maybe consider dropping a reblog or checking the ao3 port

It started in grade eight, right around the time many would present with their ranking. Alpha, Beta, or Omega, and there were always a few who fit the gray areas in between without scientifically accepted terminology. In grade eight, when you would would wake up and know that something is different. You'd wake up, walk downstairs and all eyes would be on you as they take in the new, still-forming scent and figure it out.

And then you'd go to school and the teachers would take a small blood sample around your scent gland and put it in a machine. They were always kind enough to keep it quiet around your rank, something for you to boast instead. They'd hand you a slip of paper after class and send you off to return the next day with the information.

In South Park, things are a little bit different, you have to figure it out on your own.

"Ha! I bet Kyles gonna end up an Omega," Cartman snickered to as the aforementioned redhead walked into the class.

He looked completely calm and collected, and Cartman didn't like that. He sat down at his desk and simply ignored Cartman instead of antagonizing. Three years ago he gladly would've thrown words and fists with him but he's mature now. He's presented now and he plans full well on holding that over his friends heads because he hit the moment first. (Unless Stan, Kenny, or Cartman also presented in the dead of night like Kyle did)

Stan picked up the slight difference first, "Did you get your rank last night dude?"

Kyle nodded, "I had to take a two hour shower to wash off the residual scent man, I would recommend against presenting."

"So what are you Kyle? An Omega?" Cartman teased in a singsong voice.

"Yeah man, what are you?" Kenny chimed in with, leaning over his desk a bit.

"An Alpha," Kyle answered with, grinning smugly.

And Cartman burst out laughing in disbelief.

"You're joking! You have to be, you can't be an Alpha! You're obviously an Omega!" Cartman exclaimed, still laughing all the while. He shut up the second Kyle had him pressed against his desk, hands pinned behind his back and the corner of the desk jutting into his thigh. He gave a weak wheeze of a laugh, "Idiot," Then he kicked and it hurt (a lot) but Kyle didn't falter.

"I can't be an Alpha, right? Then prove it, give me a command," Kyle snarled out, venom clear as day on his voice, "Everyone knows Omegas crumble even under unranked fuckers like yourself."

Cartman just laughed as best he could, "Fuck off Kyle," The edge required for a command wasn't present.

Kenny placed a hand on Kyle shoulder, "Dude, let go of Cartman."

Kyle glared at him, digging his nails into Cartmans wrists.

"Let him go," Kenny demanded and Kyle heeled like a dog whether he liked it or not. His grip on Cartmans wrists came undone in a second and he stepped back.

"Fine," He spat the word, "Tell him not to be an asshole and I won't do it again."

Stan simply stared, "Maybe you are an Omega dude."

"What?" Kyle turned around so fast it could give him whiplash as the word burst from his mouth.

"You just followed Kennys order like a pet dog," Stan said calmly, aware that Kyle wouldn't hurt him or pin him.

Kyle paused briefly, "And? He's my friend, I was just taking his advice."

"Don't be so insecure, we won't make fun of you if you're an Omega," Stan said, it only stoked the fire in the pit of Kyles stomach more.

"It'd be a good balance to have one Omega in the group, more than two Alphas would lead to self-destruction," Kenny explained and Kyles glare was sharp as an axe.

"What makes you so sure anyone else in this group is gonna be an Alpha? Let alone two?" Kyle questioned, watching with rapt intrigue as Kenny rubbed his wrists together.

Scent glands, he was exfoliating them to release more pheromones- but he had no pheromones. Or really weak ones, he still hadn't presented and the scent of a rankless person would do nothing to calm down Kyle. Or whip him into a frenzy, whatever their purpose they wouldn't work.

Kenny grabbed Kyle and pressed his inner wrist against his nose, the second strongest scent gland on the body held just under his nostrils. He tried to lessen his breathing as Kenny held his wrist to Kyles nose, it was incredibly awkward. Kyle simply scowled and held his breath.

"Just breathe," Kenny said, letting go of the back of Kyles head, "I'm not chloroforming you with my wrists."

Kyle took a deep breath, the heady scent that Kenny held hit him impossibly hard. He coughed a little bit as he staggered back at the oak and cherry scent (there was alcohol but that was just his homes scent rubbing off on him). It burned his nostrils just a bit but in a good way, if felt almost right and he swears the scents all meld into one reminiscent of a wine he snuck at Stans house

"Fuck man, that's pungent," Kyle said, still trying to get it out of his lungs.

"I was presenting when I woke up this morning, took a long ass shower and hoped to god my parka would cover the scent," Kenny explained, "Apparently it did."

"Kennys an Alpha too? What a fucking world," Cartman muttered out as he pulled out his desk chair and sat down.

Kyle gives a hum of amusement, "That means you and Stan are gonna be our Omegas at the end of it all."

"What makes you think I'll be an Omega?!" Cartman snapped.

"It'd be funny," Stan answered with bluntly.

"Super funny," Kenny chimed in with.

Cartman paused, heat coiling under his skin uncomfortably, "What about our soulmarks?! We still gotta wait for those!"

"Don't worry Cartman, until you get your mark I'll help you with your heats," Kenny taunted in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"Shut up!" Cartman snapped.

Kyle leans forward with a bemused hum, "No, you shut up," He holds a commanding edge to his tone and Cartman obeys it, keeping his mouth shut.

"Man I wish I presented," Stan managed wistfully, "Being an Alpha looks like fun."

"It is," Kenny and Kyle said in near unison.

-/-/-/-

Both Kyle and Kenny were brought aside in class, led down the same brightly lit hall, and left standing in front of a door. They didn't dare turn back with their teacher standing over them imposingly. Instead they looked around to find Cartman and Stan being led into two separate rooms. It was all oddly suspicious, and somewhat worrying, but in the same breath all too familiar in the worst way possible.

"Is this sex ed?" Kenny asked bluntly, tugging together the pieces in his head.

He got no response.

"So that's a yes," He got a little bit quieter.

"Gross," Kyle said, shuddering at the notions alone of listening to a teacher drone on about sex once more. Last time this happened their teacher barely knew how the basics of straight sex worked, even without putting ranks into consideration.

"Dude, it'll be fine, there aren't a lot of Alphas this year, mostly Deltas and Betas," Kenny said, placing a reassuring hand on Kyles shoulder, "Besides, you and I both know I'll correct anything they get wrong."

Kyle gave a weak laugh as he pushed open the door, "Totally."

Inside the near empty room sat two others from when they were young, the rest of the desks vacant. Wendy Testaburger and Tweek Tweak sitting up front and idly chatting as the brightness of the projectors light illuminated the dark room. It took a second before Kyle and Kenny made their way in, taking a seat beside Wendy.

"Where's everyone else?" Kyle asked in a hushed tone.

Wendy shrugged, "They probably knew what day it was and skipped on purpose."

"That explains why half the class was fucking gone," Kenny said, "Everyone knew the teachers don't know the difference between a heat and a rut am I right?"

"Totally," Tweek agreed, nodding his head as he spoke.

Kyle glanced haphazardly around the room, "Do you know when the teachers coming?"

"No clue," Wendy said, "How do you think Cartmans doing?"

Kenny hummed, as though deep in thought, "If their teacher is on time then I'd say he's just about to learn he can get pregnant."

"For real?" Tweak asked.

"Listen closely," Kenny said.

And is though it were on cue, a muffled scream of horror originating from Cartman could be heard coming from across the hall. Then a door opening and being slammed shut followed by heavy footsteps.

"Like I said," Kenny stated smugly.

"Christ how much do you know about sex?" Kyle asked.

"More than expected, I was talking about all sorts of weird shit way back in grade school man, you should know I know my stuff," Kenny said, a sly smirk held on his face.

"If the teacher messes up too much you'll pull us aside and correct them, right?" Wendy asked, tone far too serious to dare interpret as joking.

Kenny nodded, "Of course Wendy, least I can do for you and your future Omegas sake."

"Could be Beta," Kyle said, drawing out the A as he spoke.

Wendy nodded, "Yeah Kenny, our soul marks still haven't shown up."

"They won't for another t-t-three years! What are we gonna do during ruts?" Tweek questioned, his usual somewhat erratic self showing through.

"We'll ask the teacher," Kenny said nonchalantly as the door creaked open and a teacher walked in.

She turned on the slideshow before making her way to the front of the class. She cleared her throat before speaking, "Not a lot of Alphas this year?"

"Theres a few more than us but they got sick," Kyle said.

"That sucks, you four know what you're here for?" She asked, holding up the remote for the slideshow and turning it to more a comfortable blue tone, few words lay on the slide.

Everyone nodded before answering in a monotonous tone, "Sex ed."

"Correct, today we'll be talking about pre-rut slash pre-heat etiquette," The teacher said as calmly as she could, Kenny held up his hand, "Yes, you in the orange?"

"Will we bring up what to do before our soulmarks show up?" Kenny asked as innocently as he could muster despite having quite a few ideas.

The teacher nodded, "Yes, but for now let's do my curriculum for day one."

A twist of terror formed in the pit of everyones stomach at the notions of this merely being 'day one' of who knows how many. One hour of The Talk way back in grade four was enough to give Wendy nightmares and Kyle nausea, multiple days? It could very well kill them.

"So, if you want to mate, and potentially breed, your soulmate you have to discuss it with them before their pre-heat and your own pre-rut," The teacher said, voice cutting through the tension and making it worse, "Bring it up however you'd like to do so, but I'd suggest having it on paper, for legal reasons."

Everyone stayed quiet.

"Now, once you've made an arrangement you simply wait for their next heat or your next rut, for best effects wait until you've synced up. If your Omega is female than she'll be able to conceive when she isn't in heat if you're in a rut, if your Omega is male you have to wait till he's in heat. When their pre-heat begins they'll nest and do what they usually do," The teacher explained, Kenny already knew it. She flipped to the next slide. "It's up to you to notice and get consent once more before the heat begins or else it's considered illegal."

"It is?" Kenny asked without raising his hand, "Cause I've heard that South Park is making the idiot move to lift that law, making it unpunishable if previous agreements were made before pre-rut slash heat

"Illegal or not it'd still be considered rape and heavily punishable, especially if they conceive," The teacher said sternly, "Do not do anything without full consent, even if it's to a Beta cause they can still get pregnant, understood?"

Kenny nodded, "Please, continue."

"Alright now, I'm sure all of you have underwent a rut at least once already, correct?" The teacher asked.

Everyone reluctantly nodded, a twist of discomfort at disclosing the information despite the fact it was a normal. They all knew it was part of the education but fessing up to a normal biological function in front of a crowd was awkward.

"Pre-ruts are a little bit different than pre-heats, for one, Alphas usually don't go brain dead in the same way. They usually remember to eat food and drink lots of water," She said, rambling a bit, "But, you will have to keep the doors locked so you don't end up meandering into public in an impaired state. I'm sure you've heard of the cases for people who have? Plenty of lawsuits are in order."

That was just a little bit horrifying, the notions of being so brain dead they'd just go out there and fuck the first Omega in sight regardless of soulmark. They also knew that before society was as far along as it is now that things just worked like that and soulmarks were burned off.

"Lock the doors and the windows, make sure you have enough food littered across your roaming grounds for when you fully enter your rut. Let your friends know to stay away when it happens, especially if they're a lower rank. If it's Alpha to Alpha than really only a small amount of violence will happen before scent recognition tries to kick in; you'll both live," The teacher said calmly, "Alphas usually don't nest but some do, so don't be alarmed if you end up doing so, just ask your Omega for tips."

Wendy held up her hand.

"Yes, purple?" The teacher said.

"What are roaming grounds?" Wendy asked quietly, nervously at that.

"The roaming grounds are your territory, your own personal area, for most living on their own it's their whole home, for you guys I'd say it'd merely be your room," The teacher explained, "Now, any other questions?"

Kyle raised his hand.

"Green hat?"

He bit his lip in anxiousness before speaking, "What if both you and your soulmate are Alphas?"

The teacher laughed, "That almost never happens, and when it does society usually gets rid of them one way or another."

Kyles blood turned to ice, "Oh."

"Unlike two Omegas being soulmates, or two Betas, Alphas can't reproduce," The teacher said, "And as you all know that's highly frowned upon. Even with surrogate Omegas involved an A4A couple is usually shunned unless in the case of previous soulmates dying off and bonding over that."

"Well that's horrifying," Wendy said bluntly, "Couldn't be any of us."

"Definitely not," Kenny said, "We have the benefit of the doubt."

-/-/-/-

It truly went downhill on Kyles eighteenth birthday, two months after Kennys and the day that he gets his soulmark.

Way back during Kennys eighteenth birthday it was just him and Cartman hanging out for the night, waiting for his mark to appear. Playing video games, indulging in the oddly decadent dishes Liane would offer, laughing and having a great time despite the 'unfortunate' aspect of Cartmans biology. He ended up an Omega, the only one in their quartet, mere weeks after Stan presented as a Beta. His rank didn't do shit to deter the consistent broship he's had with his friends since the earliest days of kindergarten.

Still, he was distraught when word first came out and he was forced to come to terms with it, he was just lucky that he had two Alphas who wouldn't take shit to protect him. He'd never say out loud how much he appreciated the intimidation they did for him now that his rank was out in the open. Or that he appreciated the time Stan would spend to calm him down whenever he's been whipped into a frenzy by some stupid kid. But they all got the point when he shut up just a little bit more about Kyle being Jewish and Kenny being poor and whichever of Stans problems was on the table.

"Dude, it's like, ten PM," Cartman began with a yawn as he looked at the digital clock beside his bed, "I think you might be mateless."

"Bullshit, I just gotta wait a little bit longer," Kenny said, mashing more buttons as the screen flashed bright red indicating another kill.

Cartman shrugged as he stood up, "Okay man, I'll be back."

"With cheesy puffs?" Kenny asked.

"Obviously," Cartman answered with a roll of his eyes.

He left the door open on the way out, calm colors of the small TV screen filtering into the hallway. Kenny gave a sigh as he dropped backwards onto Cartmans bed and glanced at his wrists and then his ankles. Absolutely nothing, barely a hint of that scar tissue hue that shows up before the inky black. He gave a groan of annoyance before flipping over onto his stomach, stress tingled over his body. Normally he would try to quell that stress, make sure no one could smell it on him, but he knew that Liane would be a stand-in mother for a moment if she had too.

Maybe he was mateless, his mark sure as hell isn't showing up and the clock is ticking ever closer to twelve. Life would certainly be miserable if he was a mateless Alpha, those usually never crop up. It'd just be him and whatever job he managed to get until he found an unfortunate soul to bond with. The thought alone makes his stomach twist with an uncomfortable sense of dread.

"Dude," Cartmans bluntness tugs Kenny out of his thoughts.

He rolls onto his back, "What?"

"I could smell you downstairs, you're so fucking stressed right now it's not even funny," Cartman said as he sat down next to Kenny, placing a bag of cheesy puffs on the other side of his form. He rubbed his wrists together, "You're totally gonna get your mark."

"What if I don't?" Kenny asked quietly, the comforting fuzziness that Cartmans scent brought him slowly working through his system. His scent was like pink cotton candy, an overwhelming amount of cotton candy, only offset by the hint of pine needles. It was certainly an odd scent but everyone agreed that worse ones were out there.

Cartman placed his hands on either side of Kennys head, palms planted firmly in the sheets. All Kenny could catch was the sugary sweetness of Cartmans scent, "Then I guess our FWB arrangement will become permanent even after I get my mark."

"Thanks man," Kenny said, reaching up to push aside Cartmans hand. He pulled himself up and crossed his les, "Puffs?"

Cartman gave him a handful, "Puffs," He glanced over Kennys form, eyes catching on something before lunging.

The McCormick recoiled, "Dude!?"

"Your ankle!" Cartman exclaimed as he pressed his hands on the reddening patch of flesh.

"Not funny," Kenny got out as he pushed off Cartman with ease. He looked down at his ankle and found it was scarring up with his mark, a euphoric sensation shot trough him, "Holy fuck."

"Dude this is so cool," Cartman got out as he took a bite of a cheesy puff.

Kenny stared with intent as it finally settled on it's form, hue beginning to darken. He traced the thin lines of the pattern curiously, "What symbol is it?"

"No clue," Cartman said as he reached for his phone, "But the internet might know."

He snapped a picture of the mark before putting it into image search and waiting patiently for results. He hummed a bit as it loaded up, Kenny still fixated on the mark as it came too. It was one continuous line, a small hoop with two little sticky outy bits.

"Well?" Kenny asked eagerly.

"Says here its the alchemy symbol for death," Cartman said, a small chuckle on his voice, "Fitting considering how often you die."

Kenny rolled his eyes, "Fate loves to play cruel tricks on me doesn't it?"

"Next thing you know fates gonna revoke your soulmark," Cartman said with a laugh.

Kenny lightly punched him in the shoulder, "Too soon."

And now, two months after the shot of pure ecstasy that Kenny had gotten at the sight of his mark, he's waiting patiently with a couple others for Kyles to show up. The sun is still high in the sky, what with it only be five in the afternoon and spring. He's absolutely giddy, sheer excitement emanating from every pore in his body.

"What do you think it's gonna be?" Stan asked.

Kyle shrugged, "Hopefully something unique."

"I think it's gonna be a star," Cartman said, alluding to something but trying to keep it on the down low, even he knows you only turn eighteen once.

"What if it's a skull?" Craig asked.

"Well a skull is obviously Kennys soulmark," Butters stated as though it were matter of fact.

"Yeah guys, my soulmark is definitely a skull," Kenny said as he rolled his eyes. He rubbed his ankles against each other, pushing down the cuff of his pant leg to cover the mark more. He did enjoy it, he just didn't want anyone to really know- the only reason Cartman knew is because he saw it happen.

"Everyone shut up!" Kyle snapped, he pointed to his wrist, "It's happening."

It was happening, his skin reddening just a bit to that scar tissue hue in a large patch. Then it calmed down again, defining itself just a bit more before a pitch black filled it in. It was rather simple for someone as complex as Kyle, one line, a thin line. No extra little details here and there, just an odd looking loop attached to two stems with little bits on them. It looked familiar to Cartman, like he'd seen it before even though that's stupid. There was no reason for him to have seen a copy of Kyles soulmark until now when Kyle got it.

Then realization hit him hard.

He quickly glanced up to find Kenny looking impossibly uneasy. He looked like he was about to run away or vomit, his hands stuffed in his pockets nervously.

"I have to go feed the cat," Kenny managed to get out stiffly, taking a step back.

"Dude you don't have a cat," Kyle said, raising a brow- Kenny tried to send a subtle pleading look to Cartman.

"That's cause he's feeding my cat, he's taking care of it while moms out of town," Cartman butted in with.

"You should take care of your own cat," Kyle said.

Cartman gave an offended gasp, Kenny stepped back again, "I'll have you know I take great care of kitty."

"Oh yeah?" Kyle challenged, Kenny turned around to leave, "The how come Kennys taking care of it?"

"I'll have you know homework sucks and takes a lot of my time," Cartman spat defensively.

Kenny barely got out in the chaos that was forming.

-/-/-/-

Kenny isn't sure if you can go into a pre-rut through vigorous stress alone but it certainly feels like he is. Every nerve in his body is on fire in the worst was possible and he's nesting. He distantly feels shame for cocooning himself up in the corner of his closet but he just wants to hide from society and Kyle alike.

If a person in power finds out, both him and Kyle will be culled or ran out of town because they can't bring anything to society. And if Kyle finds out he'll panic because what happens when his parents find out? He'll freak out and try to distance himself from Kenny as much as possible for safety.

Kennys stomach does flips at the notions of having Kyle leave him, leave all of them because of him. He'd rather burn off his mark and say he just never had one then fess up and ruin Kyles life. But then again putting him on a wild goose chase for a soulmark that doesn't exist anymore is just as cruel.

What is he even supposed to do?

Well, first he freezes up at the sound of his window sliding open and someone climbing in. He knows it isn't a robber because his family sure as hell can't afford anything worth stealing. Which narrows it down to three people, Cartman, Stan, or Kyle- and he's never wanted to see Cartman more in his life than right now. He pushes himself deeper into the pitiful pile of blankets and pillows he calls a nest, he tugs the drawstrings on his parka a bit tighter.

"Kenny?" Came Kyles soft voice floating across the stagnant air into Kennys ears, it lit an uneasy fire in Kennys stomach, one he wanted to snuff.

He drug himself out of his nest before stepping out, eyes landing on Kyle. Poor, vulnerable, unarmed Kyle. Someone who'd end up with a better life dead if he finds out who his soulmark matches with.

Kenny can't stop his reflex from firing until it's already begun. Kyle is pinned under him on the bed and he freezes up near entirely. Labored breathing resting heavy by his head and the quake of Kennys form above him. Grip on his wrists sweaty and weak, the scent he catches is more distress than anything else.

"Leave," It's supposed to be a demand but it comes out far too cracked.

"Kenny get off of me," Kyle commands, holding his voices edge like a knife as he watches his friend stand up and back away. His face is red and he looks distraught, hands up in surrender.

He takes a shaky breath, "I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry Kyle," His voice cracks as he leans against a wall, sliding down it.

Kyle stands up and brushes himself down, ignoring the racing sound of his heartbeat, "It's fine, instincts or whatever, you could've just said your pre-rut was coming on."

Kenny shakes his head, "Not, not just for that."

Kyle steps over to him, "Then why are you sorry bro.

The McCormick reaches to the cuff of his pants and tugs it up. He outstretches his leg and points to his soulmark, inky black as the day it ruined his life, "This."

Kyle stares for a moment, "Oh."

"I'm sorry," Kenny got out quietly, "I can go die in the woods if you want me too, go live a hermit life so I don't ruin yours." He draws his knees to his chest as he speaks.

Kyle sits down on his knees in front of him, "Kenny it's fine."

"It isn't, they'll ruin us Kyle, they'll throw us out and crucify us," Kenny said bluntly, trying to keep his voice even.

"No, Kenny, this is perfect," Kyle said, Kenny lifted his head a bit, "I always needed an excuse to kiss you."

"What?" Kenny managed to croak out.

"I just, thought you would find it weird cause we're both Alphas," Kyle said, bringing his hands to one of Kennys before placing their wrists together. He's hesitant to actually rub, "Scent mark?"

Kenny nodded, "Do it, please."

Kyle rubs their wrists together easily, his own scent bursting atop Kennys as they mixed a bit. Kyles scent was like like mandarin oranges and creek water, a cold and refreshing smell atop the burst of fruit. He took a deep breath, "I've sorta had a crush on you for a while."

"Feelings mutual," Kenny choked out.

Kyle placed a hand at Kennys cheek and he whined as he leaned into the touch, "No one has to know."

Kenny gave a weak laugh, "Cartman does."

"You told him?!" Kyle snapped.

"No, he was there when my mark appeared so he knows we match," Kenny explained as he placed a hand on Kyles.

"He's gonna spread so many rumors," Kyle grimaced.

"He knows better, why do you think he defended my shitty excuse?" Kenny asked with a raised brow.

"Good point," Kyle said, he placed a small kiss to Kennys forehead, "Love you bro."

"No one has to know?" Kenny asked desperately.

Kyle shook his head, "Naw, Stans pretty smart so I wouldn't be shocked if he deduced it right then and there."

Kenny nodded, "You're smarter."

Kyle gave a hum, "Thanks."

"I'm sorry for running off," Kenny said quietly.

"Dude stop saying sorry, you're not a fucking Canadian," Kyle said bluntly as he stood up and held out a hand that Kenny gladly took.

"Our childhood is built on Canadian entertainment, watch your mouth," Kenny said defensively.

"Make me," Kyle said with a smirk.

"You're lucky I'm not actually in pre-rut right now," Kenny said, a predatory grin on his face.

"Oh I look forward to it," Kyle said.

[letyugisayfuck]

Yoooo I got another fic idea that I've been thinking about for awhile but finally today got it to sound a little more cohesive!

Kaiba and Anzu look very similar. Same color of blue for their eyes and similar reddish brown hair color. So I got it stuck in my head that it would be interesting if they were half siblings and just didn't know about it.

The idea on how they find out about it is that Mokuba is going to college for bioengineering of some sort. Basically trying to see if he can make a viable human body to put Noah in. Wanting to give him a second chance at life. There would be some kind of project where Mokuba needs to collect DNA samples and compare them to see genetic differences and stuff (I don't know much about how it works so I'm gonna look more into it).

He checking everything out and notices that Seto and Anzu are half siblings and freaks out. Maybe he gathered the DNA wrong but then check Seto's against his own and sees that they are half brothers as well. At that point he's sure he's doing something wrong so he collects samples again from Seto and Anzu. Again the results are showing the same.

Mokuba is panicking at this point. Trying to figure out what happened. He has no idea how to tell Seto and Anzu. That's such a big thing to drop on someone and he has no clue how Seto will react. The possibility of Seto still having a biological parent alive could be a good thing but Mokuba knows his brother and he would still probably just push everyone away. Also thinking about how the man you thought was your father isn't your biological father opens a can of worms I'm not sure how Seto would react too. He'd probably be angsty as fuck about it cause it's fucking Kaiba but it's definitely something I'd like to explore.

Also Anzu's reaction as well. I don't think she'd have as negative of a reaction as Seto but still would need time to process everything of course. It's not everyday that you find out someone that's been making your friend group's life difficult for years is your half brother. Then also how would that affect the relationship with her father? Would it change or get strained? Would she just not care and just wanna know the whole story? I just feel like there are so many things you can do with that dynamic as well.

I also think it would be hilarious if Anzu went into it and teased the crap out Seto and called him like 'Baby brother' or something cute.

But also I feel like this could play into Seto and Mokuba's family sending them off to the orphanage after their dad dies. Like their mom's family is completely out of the picture and it's the dad's side that sends them away after somehow finding out that Seto isn't blood related to them. Maybe just assuming their mom cheated when she had Mokuba too. There's also a lot that could go into that as well. I feel like this could be a very emotional story that would ultimately bring the brothers closer in the end. Depending on how I'd make it to you could possibly have another shot at a father figure in their life.

Just a big ball of angst, hurt and comfort and giving Seto even more daddy issues. He's been through enough but damn it's still fun putting your favorite characters through crazy hypotheticals! I'd love to hear what you guys think about it and maybe give me some pointers or ideas? Thank you ❤️

[natalieleif]

Happy Goretober-ween, everyone! I wasn't quite able to get through all the gruesome prompts this year, but I was able to pull off 22 of them, which is a solid haul.

It was a fun challenge to try and sketch a unique character for each prompt, including digging through my old tabletop archives and sketchbooks for concepts I haven't looked at in a few years. Gonna put em all in a compilation here, I hope y'all enjoy!

(CONTENT WARNINGS: since this is Goretober, trigger warnings for blood, vomit, and general squick in the sketches below the Read More.)

Credit to On.Going.Crisis for this year's prompt list!

TEETH. The zomboy Ian himself, discovering some new changes to his undead anatomy.

2. CANDY GORE. My magical girl Harper after getting into a rainbowy fistfight with the monster of the week.

3. NOSEBLEED. This one I did for the work whiteboard, so it was fun trying to figure out how to make it not too gross. :P

4. MUTATION. The new Biology teacher, Miles, doesn't look totally normal... weird.

5. AUTOPSY. Hey Andrew, what do an android's organs look like, anyway?

6. EYES. Initiation into the mob can be pretty strict, but Shift is nothing if not determined.

7. GUTS. Captain Eiche, pirate and deliveryman for the royal isles, knows that a captain always goes down with the ship.

8. CRYSTALS. Witch-in-training Noelle discovers some new crystals that are really starting to grow on her... maybe a bit too much?

9. POISONED. Tiefling charlatan Lucas discovers why you don't sample your own potion supply.

10. HANAHAKI DISEASE. Sad hipster musician Nico is not very good at getting over his ex-boyfriend.

11. INSECTS. Changeling magician Cybil is 99% goofball, 1% professional dreamweaver with a knack for the dramatic. Wouldn't recommend visiting her nightmare studio anytime soon.

12. BRUISED. Roller derby champion Zoey Explodey shows off her lumps from a recent brawl.

13. STITCHES. Practicing self-care in an abandoned zombie-filled West Virginia town isn't easy for someone already chronically ill, but Monica does her best with what she's got.

14. PARASITE. <pops Bubble pops Bubble pops Bubble pops>

15. FUNGI/MOSS. Okay, I slightly cheated on this one. TTRPG Warlock version of Ian struggles with a more magical sort of zombification.

16. HOOKS. 1930s archivist and curator of mystical wares, Roland Chatterjee, shows off his fine collection.

17. PLANT GROWTH. Nature elemental and changeling Elijah Bell wonders if his flowers and vines go all the way down. (They do.)

18. CANNIBALISM. Impulsive survivalist Angel tries a sip of her zombie friend's forbidden juice box.

19. BITES. A sequel to HANAHAKI DISEASE above--the feeling when your toxic vampiric ex Elliot tries to use chivalry on you.

20. VOMIT. Post-apocalyptic anarchist adventurer Snap Zapcannon eats a bad ration. Oops.

21. LACERATIONS. A fanart this time! @jeanne-de-valois 's boy Uriel getting some ghostly visions. It's probably fine, don't worry about it. (Also, preorder The Hundredth Voice if you haven't already, it's good.)

22. SILVER PLATTER. Trauma psychologist Dr. Gabriel Haller has made a lot of sacrifices to get where he is.

And that's the lot of 'em! Hope you enjoyed, and HAPPY SPOOKY MONTH.