#Help a fellow trans dude out?

[wiresdraws]

Ayo folks! Making these feline Pride-themed adopts through the end of June to try and secure some work. Asking $20 each, and they'll be listed for sale on my Ko-Fi. I also do customs o3o For personal use only! All done on my own base!

[aarontveit]

hey folks.

i've updated the list, and i will keep updating if/when needed. and i'd greatly appreciate any shares/etc :)

my pp: donate here. $21/125 - groceries/cat food $0/33 - phone bill $0/25 - SATA to USB cable $0/95 - external hard drive

i am putting off funding for the ac indefinitely

thank you for the constant support, seriously. it means a lot. it really does <3 right now, i have to keep myself on extra-firm lockdown for the next six months until my follow-up scans (or until i meet with the adrenal specialist, whichever comes first). the tumor on my adrenal nodule has grown, but the upside is no signs of spreading is showing! it just still is not at a point to be safely removed without posing a risk to the adrenal gland etc (iirc, it needs to be 3cm ish before they will remove it).

any donations are still helping toward groceries, bills, and PC funding needs when applicable. it especially helps with keeping me indoors, being able to get the things i need delivered <3

thank you so much for any help.

thank you for helping your fellow disabled trans dude ride out each month.

i am also willing to take on gif/scene requests from the stuff you've seen me gif regularly television wise or take on movie gif requests in exchange! please feel free to reach out if interested <3 requests filled: 13 requests info/more info.

thank you again <3

[dolphin-diaries]

A Conversation With Lucy Kartikasari

An interview with a fellow detrans woman and activist about her experience. Originally posted on the Dolphin Diaries substack.

Dolphin Diaries: Would you introduce yourself and describe how you identify?

Lucy Kartikasari: Hi! My name is Lucy Kartikasari. I’m twenty-eight years old, I live in the Netherlands and I would label myself as a queer, bisexual detrans woman. Aside from my normal day job, I’m an online activist for LGBTQ rights with a focus on community-building between trans and detrans people. I feel like that is very sorely needed in today’s political climate.

So, when people think of detrans people, they usually think about the medical aspects of transition first and foremost. You were a teenager when you started transitioning, and you went through the Dutch transition procedure, is that correct?

Right, that is correct. I was twelve when I started my social transition and sixteen when I started my medical transition.

What has that experience been like?

My experience of it as a teen was marked by long waiting lists—which are still part of trans healthcare in the Netherlands today. After I came out to my parents, we went to our GP, and then I spent about three and a half years on a waitlist before I could even start the diagnostic portion of the transition process. It’s all been quite gatekeep-y.

But at the same time, I don’t think the psychologists involved really understood transition and what might motivate someone like me to do it. For me specifically, the root of my transition was the idea that I’d be a failure as a woman. I couldn’t be that beautiful, thin, hairless doll. So I remember the doctors asking me, have I considered if I could just be a masculine woman? And, no. I don’t think this way anymore, obviously, but back then, for me being a masculine woman also meant being a failure. Anything less than picture-perfect cisheteronormativity was not good enough. So I felt like, I may as well be a man. And I don’t think they understand what that kind of trauma looks like.

So, based on the kinds of questions they were asking you, what do you think they were trying to screen you for?

I think, besides asking if I was just a masculine woman, they were trying to screen for things like sexual trauma. But mostly it was, like, what makes you not want to be a woman? And I would say, well, it’s my body parts. I had a lot of negative thoughts about having extra fat on my body—you know, growing up in a half-Asian household, fatphobia is very common. Only thin women can be successful, and if you’re not under fifty kilos, you’re not thin enough. And so I had a lot of negative feelings about that and my breasts in particular. Just very disinterested in having them, very unhappy with them. And I didn’t really want to be a woman, so I was like, well if I want to live as a man, I should have a flat chest, a penis, and so on. And so, because I was so dissatisfied with my body and with my breasts especially, that assured them it was really gender dysphoria. I don’t think they really understood my cultural context, either.

Would you say it was like, the doctors were aware that women might have bodily insecurities, but surely, if you were really a woman, you wouldn’t hate it that badly?

Exactly. And while I was on the waitlist, I was in therapy, but I was never in therapy with someone who specialised in gender dysphoria. They just looked at me and went, well, let’s wait four years and see if the child still wants to transition. So what happened was, I spent all that time presenting as a boy, at the time that my identity was really crystalising, between the ages of twelve and fifteen. So by the time it came to doing the diagnostics, I was already like, yeah I’m a boy, there’s nothing else to it. I’m a dude.

So it sounds like, since you had to wait so long, you weren’t really coming to a psychologist to help you with figuring out your transness? You just came there specifically to transition?

Yeah. When I first came out, it was to my dad, and I wasn’t sure then. I just said, I think I’m a boy. What would’ve been helpful for me at the time was if someone would’ve sat down with me and helped me untangle my feelings, why I was so insecure about the idea of growing up as a woman, why the trappings of a female body were so traumatising to me. Why I had so many of these weird issues of, like, my bones being too big, my wrists not being small enough. Because I was just like: I don’t want to fail, I don’t want to be bad at this; I may as well do something I’ll be good at.

So that time you spent living as a boy while not being able to access medical transition—how did that affect you?

I felt like I was a victim of my own biology. I felt like, if I was on testosterone, at least some of this fat would be muscle. I know it’s a lot of fatphobia—don’t get me wrong, I’m a gym girl now, I know you don’t have to be on T for that. But I’m still working very hard to deconstruct all these things. Back then, I looked at my unclothed body with revulsion, and I felt like a masculine body would be so much better than whatever I had going on. Going through life as a boy while simultaneously being so disgusted with myself—it was just so much easier to exist in places where I didn’t have to be physically present, like online. I learned to detach my personality from my physicality, to disassociate.

Has that affected your experience with detransition?

Well, I’m twenty-eight now. My adolescence was a long time ago at this point, so it can be hard to reconnect with the way I used to feel back then. But that ability to disconnect from my body has actually made it easier to cope with my bodily insecurities now, too. Because it’s like, even if I feel horrible, even if I were to devolve into some sort of horrific creature physically, I know I’d still be me in my mind, no matter what.

And have you needed to access gender-affirming care as a detrans woman?

Yeah, I’ve had a total hysterectomy, so I’m reliant on oestrogen HRT for the rest of my life. I have had laser hair removal on my face, since the growth there was bothering me quite a lot. And I’ve been planning to undergo breast reconstruction and a treatment for the scarring on my chest.

In terms of access to gender-affirming healthcare for detransition as an adult, what’s been your experience?

As an adult, I found that there really are no protocols in place for detransition—like, they just don’t think about it at all. Some of my interactions with healthcare professionals have been quite callous. For example, when I first approached my doctor about switching my hormones, one of the first things he said to me was, You know it’s actually really rare for people to do this. And I was kind of like, well of course it’s rare. But how is that supposed to help me now?

One of the other things I had to do is wait. I took my last dose of testosterone in September 2022, and I only got to start oestrogen in December 2022.

So that’s like, months with low sex hormones across the board?

Yeah, it crashed pretty quickly. October, I wasn’t feeling great; November, menopausal symptoms were starting to kick in. It was starting to affect my day job. Thank goodness, the company doctor was an older woman, so I just explained to her my detransition and said, look, I don’t have hormones in my body right now. And she understood.

So, for November and January, I was actually experiencing menopausal symptoms for the second time in my life. Because I’ve also been on hormone blockers and nothing else when I was sixteen. There’s some comedy there, menopause at sixteen and then again at twenty-six. Now I look back at it and laugh, but at the time it was obviously horrific.

As for the social aspect of detransitioning, I didn’t really want to tell people about it because I was essentially stealth in a lot of places, especially my professional life. So people in the workplace would see me and interpret me as a trans woman all of a sudden. To be fair, I was working in data engineering, so I think everyone was just looking at me and being like, yep, makes sense.

This dovetails into my next question: what has it been like, outside of online and queer spaces, to live as a detrans woman?

It’s been kind of a mixed bag. I think my greatest concern, or fear, or whatever you want to call it, has been triggering people’s transmisogyny, because they assume I’m a trans woman. I’ve had instances where I, like, went out partying and approached a guy, and then that guy found my Instagram. He saw my they/she/he pronouns, heard my voice. And then he was just like, You used to be a man. And we’re in the middle of a dance floor, I’m not giving him my entire gender history. At that particular club, I was with my sister and knew the security, so I knew I’d be safe if something went down, but it was scary. Dating in general is strange, intensely uncomfortable and scary. I just have to throw my entire story out there, because otherwise it’s like, what’s up with these chest scars? And you know, with single-sex spaces, I go to the changing rooms in the gym with my sister, because I’m scared that, if I speak a word, there will be a problem. Legally I’m still male and I have a traditionally masculine name, so I run into issues because of that, too.

When it comes to my friends and family, however, they’ve been really good. I’ve been so lucky. And I think it’s also because I’ve been so open about my transition and everything that went into it, that people were like, well, Lucy, we love you no matter what. It’s all good; if you want to detransition, that’s fine; if you want to retransition later, that’s also fine. There’s only one exception to that, and it’s my mum. She struggled a lot with my transition in the beginning, so it was quite hard to tell her. Even to this day, I think she still has issues with the fact I want to be a mother, in part because it will cost me a lot of money. So I waited until, like, four months on E to tell her, surprise, I’m your daughter again.

I also worry about certain expectations being put on me again, like the way I need to look, act, sound. But I feel like that’s kind of just being a woman in society, unfortunately.

Have you ever worried about coming out as detrans and unintentionally confirming people’s worst suspicions about trans people?

I find that the one way I combat this is, just by openly stating that this is my experience—I really emphasise that. If you want to take my story and run with it, I can’t really stop that. But I try to be really emphatic of my support for trans people, of my trans friends, even if it’s a little silly. Like, I still do the testosterone shots for my best friend, who’s a trans guy; I’m friends with trans girls; I’m still very much in community with trans people. When I say this so often, it might come across to other queer people as performative—but that’s the point, I need to do this performance when I talk to cis people who really don’t get it. For whom I’m just a confirmation of their worst instincts.

So what has being detrans been like for you in queer circles?

In my local communities in the Netherlands, because I’ve been involved with activism, it’s really fine as I’ve made a name for myself in being very pro-trans rights. Overall, it’s been good.

Were you involved in activism before you detransitioned, also?

I only really got involved in activism as a detrans person. Before that, I felt like there were so many people much more eloquent than me, people who already have huge followings—what could I possibly add to the conversation? But then, about six months after detransitioning, I found a tweet by Oli London [about detransition], and that was a catalyst. I thought, I need to do something about this. I figured that I could add way more to the conversation about being detrans and in community with trans people than anything else.

What would you say are trans people’s attitudes about detransition and detrans people?

I think it really depends on the age. I feel like, the younger you go, the more vitriolic the hatred towards detrans people. Young people and especially teenagers are very prone to black-and-white thinking. I think—and this is going to be controversial—that the trans kids who are incredibly vitriolic towards detrans people are the ones who are most likely to detransition later down the line, because they do not give any room for their doubts and might be reacting this way because they’re hiding something away. But generally, I’d say the older you get, the more someone has been in community with other trans and queer people, the more likely they are to look at your experience in a nuanced way. At least that’s what I observe with my followers. The only exception is—and I know this comes from a place of pain—some trans women who really hate detrans women, because they see it as squandering the gift of natural-born femininity. Like, you had this, I want it and I can’t have it—and you just threw it away.

When you describe your experience to trans people, do they recognise it as a detrans experience? Or is it usually the first time they hear something like that in regards to detransition?

I think it’s usually new to them in that context. I think the only detransition content they’ve encountered before was, let’s face it, Christofascist white nationalist content. Let’s just call a spade a spade. So the fact they’re hearing someone empathetic to trans people, who wants them to have adequate healthcare, job opportunities, everything—that’s new. They’re very quick to rip into certain well-known right-wing detransitioners, but when they respond to me with hate because I’m detrans and I just shrug it off, that kind of defangs it.

On a broader scale, would you say that detransitioning impacted the way you think about gender and sex?

Being a detrans woman just made me realise—it’s all the same thing. It’s always sexism, misogyny; it’s always hatred of the feminine, the unmet expectations of the feminine, failing to be a woman. I don’t understand how people like Chloe Cole and Prisha and whoever else can be like this, because you know they’ll treat you just the same as a trans woman. You’ll get lumped in when the chips are down. There’s so much more to gain in accepting gender fluidity, in community.

What would you say are the biggest challenges to detrans people right now?

I think it’s the fact that the organisations that have been founded supposedly to help us always have ulterior motives. For instance, I have a Brazilian detrans friend, and she complains to me it’s all very Jesus-saved-us there. I’m Australian, so I need to get all paperwork changes through the Australian government, and the only organisation that cares about detransition there is the LGB Alliance. Then you look at the US, and it’s Genspect. These organisations are usually Christofascist. So yeah, there’s never anything that offers a structured way of helping detrans people without that agenda. That would sort out your documents and your healthcare.

So what I’m surmising is, when detrans people need help with legal gender marker change or gender-affirming healthcare access, the only option they see available to them are those right-wing organisations?

Right. We need to take that power away from them.

I very much agree. Lastly, in your opinion, do detrans issues tie in with any broader issues right now?

I think a lot of the things relevant to detrans women tie in with general women’s issues. For instance, speaking as a detrans woman that has been sterilised, there’s reproductive healthcare. The Right has this chokehold on conversations of fertility; they talk about how you’ll never breastfeed, never have babies if you take T for too long, and so on. It’s about reproductive rights and control over everyone who has the capacity to bear children. And of course, there’s trans rights and the encroachment of transphobia. The Right wants to construct a very specific view of gender, of women, and in part they use detrans women to do that.

Lucy Kartikasari can be found over on TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, and Threads. She creates content about her transition and detransition as well as trans and detrans solidarity. Find her other links here.

[monsterfuckerconfessions]

That one "lesbian" anon. Trans guy now. And really, really into the idea of domming + topping monster women as an elf dude? Me again. Thought about your prompt about gender and monsterfucking... and it makes me think really hard.

There was something inherently alienating about being a lesbian living in a religious, homophobic, and transphobic country, all the while living with a family that don't support you, and only having fellow queer friends who more often than not misunderstand you.

I read a LOT of yuri but thanks to my predatory lesbian guilt, I have always felt detached to it. Seeing women love each other is healing but I never saw myself in them. I always feel like I am too beastly of a human to ever be the pure and lovely women depicted in these stories.

For a while I knew I had a hunch that I am transmasc since everything about it resonates deeply with me... But most transmasc media makes me feel incredibly dysphoric because most of it caters to bottoms (which makes me feel awful). Nothing wrong with it, just different people having different triggers/turn-ons. So I thought "oh okay maybe I am a fake transmasc and I should just keep on with this gender". I thought my gender exploration stops there.

And then.

Human/Elf Men x Monster Women hentai came inti my life. Fuck.

It counters my predatory lesbian guilt through depicting women with power and agency, or depicting women who are just as beastly if not more than the protagonist fucking them. And to top it off? I feel incredible resonance and validation from projecting myself to the men in these works... It made me realize "oh I AM transmasc I just want to have a dick, look like a guy/twink, and actually use said dick oooohhh".

It is SO SCARY to have "top" thoughts since I HATE "initiating" anything due to how I feel about myself (beastly, evil). But these men are fucking women who could just fold them or bite them or chew them if she wants to and yet she *lets* them so its . its so comforting . to be accepted .

for once i do not feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing. i am not afraid of the dangers of my own heart. i am not afraid of my own claws *because she has even bigger ones*. her sharp teeth could easily tear my dick off yet she sucks it with care. do you understand???

im kind of zooted out so this might not make sense but goodness

monsterfucking has helped me navigate some of my worst guilts regarding sexuality and gender.

sure, there is still little transmasc top x monster women stuff but uugghh i dont mind reading hetslop either because i can just imagine the guys as trans BECAUSE I SAY SO. if monsters can exist so can impossible bottom surgery. im rigjt

.

[genderqueerdykes]

Really appreciate this blog and what it shares. Got into an arguement with someone who was a transfem TIRF (didn’t realize that was even a thing at the time lmao) and it left me feeling really upset due to the both gross ways she’d talked about trans men and the fact that she got a lot of support in the notes. So coming here and seeing in fact most people love and care about us transmascs is nice.

Won’t argue again next time I see an account like that cuz it’s kinda obvious people in those circles are prolly not getting out but yeah.

i am so sorry you had that experience. i'm glad you're advocating for yourself and choosing to not argue with that person again.

i honestly refuse to socialize with a person when i see them be that openly hateful with no attempts to change. i stopped talking to one of my old roommates after he started saying all kinds of transandrophobic shit, shitting on transmascs bodies and calling them gross because he's "gay" and could never be into vaginas or breasts. my ex (trans)gf literally fucking yelled at me for not wanting to be his friend after this. like actually fucking yelled at me numerous times. i asked her if she would be comfortable staying his friend if he was transmisogynistic toward her and told her her body was disgusting, and she said yeah of course, as if somehow that wouldn't cause her pain. nobody gave a flying fuck about how transandrophobia affects transmascs, so i said fuck all of you and stopped being their friends.

there are so many people who have gladly jumped on the rad fem train and it's so sad. that's no way to live your life. that's such a hateful ideology. rad feminism is nothing but hate. it's hate for yourself for being a woman because you equate womanhood to suffering. it's hate for other women because they're not women "right" like you are. it's hate for transmascs and trans men. it's hate for nonbinary people. it's hate for genderfluid people. it's hate for trans, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, gnc, bi, & pan lesbians. it's hate for butches who are men. for TIRFs in specific, it's hate for other trans people because they're "trans wrong". rad feminism is hatred all the way down no matter how you look at it. rad feminism will never be productive or progressive. it's about wallowing in your misery, mining for sympathy and pity, and crying about how you're powerless and defenseless instead of doing something about it. it's admitting defeat.

as a fellow transmasc, i'm just over it. i'm not gonna stew in self hatred. i had a friend who WAS transmasc who basically forced me to hate myself for being a trans man. always going on and on about how they hated certain transmascs and trans men, how they were "Whiny and entitled"... yikes dude. you can keep hating yourself over there, but i genuinely love being transmasc & a trans man. coming out as a trans man literally saved my fucking life. i was a depressed mess that hated myself before i came out. i've never loved myself more. and if someone else can't love what i love about myself? they're not worth my damn time.

i'm not here to throw transmascs under the bus just to kiss up to transfems to try to look progressive for brownie points. that shit is underhanded and dirty. we can support all trans people at once. we aren't football teams. you don't have to pit random queer identities against one another. we're on the same side. none of us are enemies. none.

thanks for taking the time to stop by! take care of yourself, i'm glad that i could help in any way. i am just OVER people forcing transmascs and trans men to hate themselves and exist solely to talk about trans women and transfems and nothing else. i am just over people making men and mascs feel like shit. it's done. it's over. i'm not participating, and neither are you. pack that shit up into a box, and throw it in the garbage. we're working together whether or not you like it. the only way we get out of this is together. our fight for liberation is NOT a crab bucket- you do NOT have to pull someone else down when you see them rise up and advocate for themselves.

[mizuki-foreshadowing]

Kamiyama High Festival, Episodes 6 & 7

Feeling hurt from the two students from earlier, Mizuki retreats to the rooftop, an old habit. There she sees Rui. Their middle school days were defined by these lonely impromptu hangouts. Rui knew Mizuki before she became Mizuki, and he had been the one to help her back then.

We learn that the context of the flashback to Mizuki and Rui with Mizuki in the boys uniform, is that it's the first time the two had met.

Their first introduction is very worth delving into. Rui introduces himself and asks Mizuki's name. She refuses to give it, but Rui already knew it. He says the reason he asked anyway was to hear what Mizuki would say. Under the reading that Mizuki is a closetted trans girl, this interaction makes perfect sense; Rui picked up on Mizuki's self-loathing and wanted to be considerate and kind to a fellow loner. It was an invitation for Mizuki to give him her real name [Mizuki].

Likewise, the metacontext is that Colorful Palette wants to be kind and considerate to people like Mizuki; they're telling her story in a sincere way. The first and easiest way they do this, made even easier by Japanese grammar, is to not refer to her with a masculine pronoun. Japanese allows the omission of a pronoun if it's clear from context, which combines well with the depth that can be conveyed with [name]-honorific, as well as simply using either the first or the last name. Akito, for instance, who's heard the rumors about Mizuki, exclusively calls her Akiyama in this event story.

It's a little harder to do this in English, which requires a subject for its sentences, and only really offers the use of first name or a pronoun. In English, students who know Mizuki's secret, at worst, refer to her in the text of the game with 'they'. The dialogue of N25 members, at least from what I've seen, is careful to only use 'Mizuki' or some other wording to refer to Mizuki. (as a trans woman, I'm very sensitive to when 'they' is used for us) They don't know her secret after all, and would otherwise use 'she'.

A more difficult way than pronoun usage, for the team to be respectful of Mizuki and players who they want to reach out to with her story, is to not deadname her. If they ever gave a birth name for her, it could be used by hurtful fans as a more correct way to refer to her, doing only harm. Rui and Mizuki's introduction is meant to be read as Rui asking for a different name from Mizuki. She refuses to give any name. This would otherwise signal the conversation as being over, so Rui skips the introduction for her, saying he already knows her name.

Is this all enough evidence to support that 'Mizuki' when used in flashbacks of her in a boys uniform is a way to respectfully censor out her deadname? Maybe, but there is one more piece of evidence, in the next episode. Episode 7 opens with a timeskipped flashback. Mizuki and Rui have been having their loner hangouts on the school roof for a while now.

It's not something I can capture in a screenshot, but Rui refers to Mizuki in this line with "Mizuki-kun". This is clearly still Mizuki before she transitioned, and she's still just as icy and bitter in the way that she talks as she'd been in Episode 6. But more than that, [I checked and] Mizuki is an unambiguously feminine name. It means 'hope', and the only suggested spelling for it is with the kanji that Mizuki's name officially uses. Conversely, -kun is typically reserved for a male addressee. While Rui also uses -kun for Emu and other members of the cast younger than him as part of how he talks, he no longer uses -kun for Mizuki. At the end of Episode 5 and all throughout Episodes 6 and 7, Rui in the present uses just Mizuki to address her, which acts to respect her in the same way friends avoid using 'dude' or 'guys' when addressing a trans girl. Rui using -kun in the flashback may reflect that the name in-universe it's spoken with was not actually 'Mizuki' and that we the players read it as 'Mizuki' as part of the writers respecting her character.

This is the Mizuki who Mizuki talks about when she tells people about how she used to feel confined by people's expectations, always wondering how much she should change herself not to inconvenience those around her. That Mizuki can't understand why Rui refuses to act more normal and try to fit in, even as herself doing so is the source of her own misery.

Rui's response is there are many things that are very much worth finding in solidude. Among them, Mizuki herself, with the silent hope that Rui is also that for Mizuki.

Mizuki understanding that getting rejected by the other people around her isn't the end of the world, and that she can still find meaning even if she does so alone, is the first step toward the person she'll become, of somebody who does things her way and is so much happier for it.

[long-lost-mcguffin]

biff its still june trust what flavour of lgbt sandwich do each of the ninja eat

my joke answers

zane: it’s/it nonbinary

jay: he/him cishet

kai: she/her cishet

nya: she/they bisexual

cole: he/him cis gay

lloyd: they/them ace and cishet

pixal: they/she nonbinary

srs answer under cut i go into way more detail LOL

zane

-he/him

-androgynous with a slight masc lean. he doesn’t go for very femme/masc outfits unless the situation calls for it. that’s not to say he dislikes that sort of fashion, it’s just not his thing. he prefers simple clothes with simple designs and fits. he LOVES suits though, they make him feel mature.

-demiromantic heterosexual. very monogamous, politely shuts down all fan attempts to flirt with him. he gushes about pixal every chance he gets in interviews.

jay

-they/he

-non-binary with heavy masc presentation. realized they weren’t as cishet as they thought they were when he started dating nya. they felt like masculinity was an act they had to put up out of insecurity. over time he got more comfortable with masculinity(with nya’s help). he likes flamboyant clothing and gets a lot of fashion inspiration from vintage magazines.

-bisexual. with the support of nya(before and after their s3 breakup) he started experimenting romantically and sexually. when he started getting semi-famous for tv stuff, they definitely used it to his advantage to get hookups and paid it off with hush money. it fueled their ego in a very hollow way.

kai

-preference for he/him but it’s not that important to him

-is also very nonchalant about his gender, but his fashion style is function over literally everything else. his bright yellow skirt has deeper pockets than his cargo pants? he’ll wear it.

-questioning. considered himself hetero comfortably for a very long time, then after meeting skylor started to think about experimentation. he’s a flirt for the show of it, but actual romance and intimacy makes him VERY shy. dude is hella suppressed.

nya

-she/he

-always considered herself a very masc tomboy, she looked up to kai a lot during their childhood and sorta subconsciously modeled himself presentation-wise after her older brother. sooner or later he identified as trans-masc and started using t-gel around s7. she’s also very function-oriented in her clothing but the aesthetics are a little higher on the list compared to his brother.

-also considered herself heterosexual for a very long time, but it wasn’t until after zane’s death in s3 that she really questioned his own sexuality. she did car odd-jobs around ninjago city for money and met all varieties of people doing it. eventually settled on pansexual with a preference for masc people.

cole

-he/him

-trans man. loves his masculinity and being a teddy bear. started crying when he grew in a patchy beard because it was so euphoric. started doing testosterone in secret pre-s1 and got bottom surgery during s7. there was a lot of cake when he got home from the hospital.

-knew from a very young age that he was not straight. wanting to rebel, he started sneaking out with the boys/girls from his dance classes during recital rehearsals. after zane’s death in s3 when he moved to the forest, he started to realize how gay he was being around all the shirtless men.

lloyd

-all pronouns, no preference.

-intersex, didn’t really give his gender much thought until after s5 when she began feeling SEVERE impostor syndrome and dysphoria after morro’s possession. began a process of “reclaiming” her body by binding her chest for a while(with cole’s help), which then lead to t-shots and top surgery. now identifies as non-binary with a masc lean.

-bisexual with a heavy preference for women. she definitely wrote a few fritz donnegan x reader in their Darkely’s note books. Had a few crushes on some of their fellow students, but never really pursued them for fear of being not evil enough. becoming the green ninja and getting super famous overnight means he got a LOT of fans asking him on dates. after the first 8 failed dates, they stopped being interested in romance until harumi.

pixal

-she/he

-demiromantic pansexual. like his partner, very monogamous and is not interested in anybody else. she experiences aesthetic attraction often and loves fashion as gender expression. gives compliments on outfits as often as he can.

-genderfluid. designed herself a bunch of different outfits while in zane’s mind when she had the time. he wanted to try masculine clothes for a very long time, but was worried zane wouldn’t be attracted/supportive. being samurai x was her avenue to discovering gender fluidity, and after revealing himself as samurai x, came out to zane in private. he supported them full-heartedly and lent her some of his clothes.

[lesbiananya]

I’ve been very nervous sending a message because I’m a aroace trans dude and… I’m very out of the target demographic for the fic. However, I’ve been keeping up with it for months, and after that one message I felt like it was important to say something and voice my support.

I’ve been going through a very rough patch the last few weeks. I’ve dealt with the loss of two of my cats and its been very hard for me. But reading your fic has really helped me get through it. Even though its a fictional scenario, seeing Anya go through this immense, unfathomable hardship and being as strong as she is handling it - and having a potential route for her to have a better ending with Y/N - means a lot to me. Its silly, but the story makes me feel like I can endure my own hardships, even if they feel all encompassing and suffocating.

I’m at a point now that reading your fic helps me get to bed at night lol. Its like my bi nightly bedtime story. I just view Y/N as another character rather than an extension of myself (I was worried about gender dysphoria but actually reading the story isn’t very dysphoric for me at all) and just get lost in your writing, which is something not many fanfic writers achieve for me.

Also, as a writer myself, the way you portray the characters is awesome and is the most canon accurate representation I’ve seen of them so far. I ADORE the banter between Y/N, Anya, and Daisuke especially, and the way you portray Jimmy is perfect. Swansea I also feel like tends to get mischaracterized by the fandom but you’ve really nailed him too which is awesome!

Tysm for sharing your works <33 I look forward to reading future updates

hello there! thank you so much for the lovely ask! i really appreciate you reaching out!

i welcome anyone of any demographic (ideally adults, though) to read my fics. even though the target audience is, of course, sapphic women, anyone can read my stuff. 💙 i think it's good to empathize with the experiences of women—fellow human beings—regardless of gender! and as you said, Y/N can always be perceived as a second person character otherwise.

i'm really touched that my writing has had such an emotional impact on you! hearing that it's immersive and in-character by others' standards makes me so happy! and i'm very sorry to hear about the passing of your cats. it's so nice to know that my fic has brought you comfort in these tough times. a happy ending to my fic is on the way, even if there's a lot of hardship to get through first!

also, thank you for the kind words about my characterization for the other characters! even though anya is evidently my favorite, the cast of mouthwashing in general is a lot of fun to explore. even the characters i don't like are compelling to write (like jimmy, hate the guy haha)

overall i really appreciate your ask! thank you again! and if you like what i write, never be afraid to reach out. i read and try my best to respond to every single comment, ask, and DM. the support means the world to me!

[hopeaterart]

Hold on, hold on. I'm starting to have coherent thoughts abt Teen Shredder 'verse

Mutants/yokais and humans cohabit on the surface for reasons I haven't figured out yet. However, mutants tend to be discriminated against.

Yoshi wasn't mutated into a rat! He and Tang Shen are living happily together and run a dojo. Splinter is Yoshi's normal pet rat.

The turtles are their adopted kids. :} They're all actual brothers, and Yoshi adopted them following the death of their biological parents, who he was friends with. (As a result, they're all the same turtle species too, I just need to pick)

Leo and Mikey are twins and the eldest, with Mikey being older by a few minutes. Raph is the middle child, and Donnie's the youngest. Yoshi and Shen send them to an elite school, which is what most of the plot is about.

The story is much more low-stakes than FHC, mostly abt the Turtles trying to survive high school

Mikey is a chill dude who's seemingly not concerned with anything, although he's got multiple skill and will step in if his brothers need his help. He's already got other mutant friends outside of school.

Leo's the one with anger issues here. He hates being looked down upon for being a mutant, which causes him no amount of grief at school. It's probably why he ends up gravitating toward Shredder, a delinquent that the entire student body fears. (Also they're both trans, but Leo hasn't realized that yet)

Raph is hypercompetitive and really active, so he joins a bajillion afterschool sport team and ends up befriending (and eventually dating) Casey, who's on those same sports team.

Donnie is a shy and smart kid who quickly turns into a teacher's pet and befriends fellow nerd April.

Karai is Shredder's mom and involved in organized crime. She's trying to hide it from him so he can have a better life, but his delinquency proves to be a problem.

I don't know what Renet is doing, but I do know she's the time god equivalent some kind of constantly exhausted intern. She'd mostly appear for threats like alien invasions.

Habiki, Zia, Higa and Naomi are all here too. (My ocs...) Habiki is Yoshi's well-meaning but overbearing mother who occasionally visits, Zia is the turtle's little sister and a human, Higa is a young bird mutant from another school with a crush on Saki, and Naomi is one of the instructors at Yoshi's dojo.

[alpaca-clouds]

How to Research Pt. 1 - Google-Fu

Alright. I have decided to make a little tutorial in how to use different ways to access information, especially scientific information. The reason for this is, that... Well, research has found that a lot of Gen Z and especially Gen Alpha struggle with doing online research, mostly due to being so used to use the internet via Apps. And having had to do a research project at university, where my fellow students massively struggled to find anything on the requested topic.

So... Let me start with the most obvious topic: Google.

Funnily enough I gotta say, that even a lot of my fellow Millenials struggle with google. Mind you, Google has become a lot less user-friendly over the years. Ten years ago it was a lot easier to google stuff, because Google pushed less advertisement.

It should be said, that these techniques also work with most non-google search engines. So, let me go through it.

How to Google

For reasons the question I will use to demonstrate this entire thing will be: "How many biological sexes are there?" Just because I had to show research on this in online discussions too often. (Me, that is, as an intersex individuum.)

The most intuitive way would probably be to directly ask google.

Now, on the first glance the results of this search do not look that bad.

Again, I am intersex. I am definitely not a male or female based on my biology. And obviously, as such I have read quite a bit on the topic before.

Now. One of the things you need to do, when doing research, is to be able to judge a source.

Scientific American is somewhat reliable as a starting point, but it is popscience, hence you should definitely not cite it if there is any other way.

The NIH is usually a reliable source. But, if you just look into the preview text (or read the abstract on the side) you will find, that the scientist completely just mixes through sex, gender and sexuality. Which... might not make for the best source.

The next one - from the Arizona State University - also is a bit too much on the gender part, and too little on the sex part. And if you look at the preview, you will also find something else there: Google has marked "gender" as an "exact result" by using bold fonts.

And lastly we have a result that is the private blog of some economics guy. Which... might not be a good source for this.

And if you scroll just a bit further down, you will find openly trans- and interphobic sites like Women UK and Emma.

This is the point where you should realize two things:

Maybe we should change the search

You really gotta be careful with what pages get brought up, when you use your google-fu.

See, here is the thing. Why in the nine hells is the 4th (!!!) result of the search some private blog of some dude? I can tell you: Google is basing the results partly on the SEO of the pages. And it just turns out that some economics blokes are actually really good at SEO stuff. That is search engine optimization.

Other than that, Google also basing stuff on traffic and how many people clicked at what link and probably some other stuff that us normal mortals will never understand.

So, how can you change the results? Well, you use the tools that google gives you.

Using " around a group of words or a single word tells google, that you want this exact group of words in the result and no variation of it.

Using - in front of a word or a group of words marked with " before means that you want to exclude these results.

And using * somewhere means, that a word can end differently and you will still accept it.

So, what have we learned from the other results before? Well, for one: We should definitely tell google, that we want to know about biological sex, not about gender. So we should probably mark "biologial sex" as an exact group. It probably would help also to include something like "intersex" because that way we give google something to go off on. Lastly: A lot of supposedly "feminist" sites will actually push their TERFy agenda. So, to exclude them, I will tag this search also as -"women's rights". And because I am not interested in someone's blog, I will also use -blog.

Hence we get the search term:

And look at the results I am getting:

Now, this might not be perfect - but it is much more like what I was looking for, right?

So, that is a quick primer on how to google-fu.

Tomorrow I am gonna talk a bit about Wikipedia.

[transguydiy]

Intro Post :D

Hi! I made this blog to share all of my clothing, fashion, packing, and binding tips for my fellow trans dudes and anyone else interested in that type of thing. I have been DIY-ing things for myself since I was 12, so I know my way around a needle and thread! I will update this post as I put out tips and tutorials. Make suggestions if you want, I'm happy to tag you in a post with a potential solution to fashion and clothing bugs.

Please be respectful, any transphobia or non-constructive hate will be blocked and deleted. This is a place for helpful tips, not being a jerk.

Also, nothing sexual please. I am an adult, but younger me would have killed for help with gender affirming fashion tips. Kids/teens are welcome here, just be safe! Don't share sensitive info, it is never worth it and usually causes trouble.

[disast3rtransp0rt]

Pride is About Normalization (and Hope)

Pride is radical. Pride began as a riot, where trans women of color fought back against invasive physical inspections by the NYPD. This would never have happened if trans people - who have ALWAYS existed, and to deny this fact is to fall for literal Nazi propaganda - were simply considered people like "everyone else".

If all queerness were normalized, we wouldn't be constantly fighting each other for pieces of an invisible, inaccessible pie. So to complain about "kink" or "leather" or "nudity" at Pride is to be on the side of the NYPD and the Nazis. And I'm not making false equivalence for dramatic effect, here. I cited my sources, and if you choose not to read them and keep your opinions rather than expand your education well... full offense, you're a bad fucking member of the queer community.

Do your homework and honor the people who have given you the right to feel comfortable coming out at all. Don't fall for puritanical, Evangelical cultural bullshit. That's what they want you to do. You're playing into their scheme perfectly and the only harm you're doing is to other queer people.

So, next year when you're at some silly Pride event and see a dude in a puppy mask and harness next to a 50+ guy with a huge beard and leather chaps and you want to get mad about how they might be scaring someone, remember how hard Leather fought to keep us safe during the early Pride movement. And also how maybe it's nobody's business to police anything at Pride. No matter how hard you try, you'll always be a freak to society. So we might as well protect our fellow freaks.

And this kind of intersectional normalization benefits EVERYONE. Pride has always worked to include topics like:

Gender or performances of gender.

Sexual orientation/attraction or lack thereof.

Body types.

Ethnicities and cultural practices outside the white Western binary (2-Spirit, Kathoey, Hijra, etc).

Disability rights/accessibility.

Bodily autonomy and medical accessibility.

Feminism, women's rights, and civil rights.

So, fellow queer people, I need you to get up on the soap box with me and start protecting each other. Advocate for each other. Care for each other. Intersectional solidarity is our superpower, but only IF we choose to use it and utilize it against those who wish us dead or silent.

To quote the band that both helped to awaken my bisexuality and turn me into a compassionate little freak on the streets, My Chemical Romance: "Can I be the only hope for you, because you're the only hope for me?"

[deanwax]

Writer Interview

Cheers for the tags, @autism-purgatory and @the-golden-comet <3

no-presh tag to @dyrewrites and @winterandwords, lets gooo

About Me

When did you first start writing?

I would've cut my teeth in the Neopets roleplay forums around age 11-12, likely didn't start writing standalone fics until age 18-19.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

Not really, but also: I'll read literally anything if it's presented as a graphic novel. It's been a useful way to discover new things, and historical graphic novels have been a gateway drug to documentaries and video essays.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

I don't really concern myself with emulation these days, but way back I tried to style a novel heavily on the works of Poppy Z Brite. I was too green to understand how to give a gothic horror a point, and "Wailing" fizzled out with not much more than wallowing in edgy misery. I've still never been able to salvage the plot or characters to this day.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

In order of frequency: lying on my stomach in bed with a heat pack, at my computer desk, hunched up in the corner of a train, being weirdly intense in the bar of a local theatre. So yeah, I do a lot of writing on my phone.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

I'm actually in the middle of reckoning with my own limitations caused by a chronic pain condition, so I'm more in the camp of "let the muse come to you". I try to check in often, I'd only to smash out a few more notes or paste in some research.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

No, except Sucks Down Under which is literally set in early 2000s Australiana. For the most part I'm making stuff up freestyle.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

I didn't think there'd be so much symbolic cannibalism when I started out, but here we are.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Man. Adam "Flicker" Prescott from Wailing was the OG, man. He was supremely socially awkward and couldn't stick up for himself against his trans friend who was too angry about gender to see how cruel they were being. He could see ghosts. Eventually he got separated from his body entirely and became a spirit trapped in the mind of the vampire who killed him. He deserved better.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

Flicker could live in the back of my mind if he wanted. I guess he does.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Setting aside outright villains, I actually would start to avoid Alistair from Impressions of Aire for long stretches of time if I knew him IRL. He's way too socially outgoing, man. That's not my speed. Small doses only.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

The speed at which I can come up with these dudes is too fast to clearly separate the process onto steps. It helps to have a prompt to get the bones down, like a genre or an event that will happen in the story. Then: nyeeeooowwww.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Autism.

What’s your reason for writing?

Also autism. Yes, yes, the joy of creation. But also: I am putting the characters through The Situations with wildly different parameters.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Babe, I write original fiction. Any kind of comment at all is a joyous rarity.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

A trickster.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Grounding the actions of the story in some kind of reason, or at least a process that can be observed if not clearly understood.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Knack for words.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I have loved everything I have ever written.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yes, so I could read it later.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

Any story where I've tried to inject content that would make it popular has hit wall until I've allowed myself to rework it to be as weird as I truly want it to be.

[straying-further-from-gods-grace]

Human AU! Picrew

Alastor! He's a serial killer and cannibal in every AU I make unless otherwise stated. Some AU will include Al being trans, having epilepsy, or severe scarring and sometimes migraines. Eating disorder in the fact he mainly eats humans and starves a lot of the time

Nifty in every AU will be Alastors little sister, be it through found family or actual adoption. She is also a cannibal and a nurse unless otherwise stated. Every AU she lost her eye while being sex trafficked.

Rosie and Husk are Always going to be Exes, be it married or dating, but exes. Rosie is a cannibal, Husk isn't he just helps his family hide evidence. In certain AU they're Nifty and or Al's adoptive parents/found family parent's in others they are just older friends who are protective and the mom/dad friend. Rosie is a psychologist and Husk a bartender, most AU they're gonna be ex military

Angel Dust (Anthony) Husks twink boyfriend he gets after divorcing or breaking up with Rosie. Still a hooker but he and Val have a healthy relationship. Unless I need Val to be nasty for my plot. Ex addict, makes music sometimes, recovering eating disorder

The Vees! Vox with his heterochromia and I like making him sweaty either an actual problem or he's just sweaty. I also like to give him a stutter in certain AUs. He's German.

Valentino is as always, half blind, and he's a nasty weird tall man with a connective tissue disorder in most AU, he's also Latin and a pretty good friend he's very supportive just bad at it.

Velvet is a weird little chaotic rat but her boys worship her. For some reason I see her as a Floridian military brat idk, fashion designer and influencer in every AU. I ship her with Rosie.

In some AU they're adoptive siblings

Charlie and Vaggie! Twinning UwU! Vaggie is an ex Catholic cause I think it makes sense and Charlie definitely practices Wicca or something. Charlie actually does own a hotel, it's a rehab her father funded for her because she wants to help nd she has whateva sort of degree would help with that, something with therapy. Vaggie works as a security guard there.

Vaggie twin sister Lute, she's having a near constant mental breakdown, she's a psycho deep down and is FILLED with religious guilt idk what to tell ya. Killed someone. Her arm is amputated too. She teaches self defense, specialising in helping people with disabilities learn to work around them.

Charlie cousin Peter. Everyone think he's the "gay" cousin but he's actually straight and VERY comfy in his masculinity, nondenominational. Isn't technically allowed to visit the Morningstar house alone because they're "evil" but they're just spiritual. Broadway!!

Lute boyfriend, Adam. I could NOT resist making him adorable and precious because you see him and go awww but then he fucking opens his mouth and calls you a slur. Lmao. Questioning his faith. Rock star wanna be, studies music theory or something

Adams cousins! Big sis Sera is constantly worrying and lil sis Emily is heavily sheltered. Sera is a Sunday School teacher, idk, maybe religious studies? Emily if the AU has her college aged will want to be a nurse (I've been seeing Emily ships everywhere but what if she falls for her fellow nurse who's secretly a psychopath?? Nifty, I mean)

Cherri! Angels BFF! She's deffo an artist and also a demolition expert or something, and does monster trucking too! She's the best most supportive person, Penti adores her and she's secretly in love too but she's scared of it. Angel keeps mocking her that he's got two guys (Val and Husk) and she won't even take a chance on the dude who would find a way to blow up the sun for her.

Penti is trans, hjs family is also Muslim but he was disowned when he came out. He has triplet little siblings! Is studying to be or is a physicist. Idk minor speech impediment/lisp!

Frank is the embodiment of chaos and when he meets Alastor is obsessed with him (crushing on a guy your older brother doesn't like is a right if passage) Chandler and Leslie are his siblings. They we're disowned for supporting Penti and Chandler has refused to wear her veil since. Leslie still upholds their faith but is very supportive.

Usually Vark will be a dog. But occasionally an AU will call for him to be Vox little brother so here's a design for him!

[dickmaster1]

Ok so thiss is like my first fic and first smut fic I've wrote since middleschool😭 so please be nice, I do take criticism just don't be a ass😊

Anyways here is a season three Daryl dixon x trans reader fic since there is none! I made it<3

It had smut in it obviously, praising, good boy is used umm idk what else have fun reading (it's alos a 4k word fic)

Quiet love

 "Rick and Glenn are back!" Maggie yelled as she helped Carol open the gate for them, noticing there was another car behind them they pulled their guns out.

"Stop he is with us we found him, had been trapped in his hometown since it started" 

Rick said while getting out of his car fixing his belt. Glenn got out, also running up and hugging Maggie giving her a kiss.

"Yeah he is a cool dude, he reminds me of Daryl kinda" Glenn said watching the unknown male pull in and park his big truck before hopping out. Giving a small wave to the small group, it became painfully aware how scared he was of them, not having seen people since the day his town went under. 

Walking up Carol offers her hand, giving a warm smile making the man smile, his shoulders visibly going down from how tense he was. Shaking her hand he hears a loud voice turning around and he sees a dirty looking man walking down yelling for Rick.

"Rick! Come on asskicker needs her food!" The unknown man says before turning and with a confused look asks, "who is this?" 

"I'm y/n it's nice to meet you..?"

He sheepishly holds out a hand for the man to shake, thankfully he does, giving him a firm shake.

"Darly" the dirty man said so low you could barely hear it, before turning to Rick completely forgetting about you. That one interaction alone makes your heart skip a beat, *wow ok good job y/n fall for a guy who you just know his name of* you say rolling your eyes mentally.

 Lost in your own mind still the man named Glenn with his wife he told you about beside him comes up to you, "Let me show you around, you'll love it here" snapping out of your own mind you smile saying yes following them up to the prison.

"Who is this y/n fellow? He sounds like a girl" 

Darly said leaning on the fence, pulling his cigarette out Taking one in between his fingers lighting it taking a long drag.

"He is trans darly, he said before the apocalypse started he had just gotten his top surgery, it's why he couldn't leave" 

Shocked, Daryl looks over "really?? He told you that?" He wasn't Shocked about y/n being trans he didint give a fuck, he could care less how people see themselves as long as they don't mess with him he coudl careless, he was shocked he has disclosed such information. 

Letting a low grunt dalry take a drag of his cigarette, watching the smoke leave his mouth. "Nice truck he has, why didn't he leave himself?" 

"To many zombies, his town is small so everyone got infected quickly he was just lucky he had to stay inside" Rick looks at the man they are talking about, seeing him talking to Carol he smiles glad that the kid can be happy and safe

"Looks like you're losing Carol darly" Glenn says, coming up next to him with a big grin on his face. Giving him a look daryl scoffs, "I ain't got a crush on Carol so shut up pizza boy" 

Rick laughed at the interaction, putting his hands on both of their shoulders walking with them. 

"Come on let's go and make some good impressions" walking up to y/n Rick sparks up a conversation, dalry behind him watching what's going on makes eye contact with y/n.

Their eyes lock, a slight brush spreads y/n's face before turning around saying they have to with Carol leaving awkwardly. 

Darly walks up to them and lets out a grunt leaning back on the shelter they are under "I think I scared him, I looked at him and he ran off" he said, crossing his arms visibly upset that the man ran off.

"Ohh that's why he started blushing!" Glenn stated enthusiastically, making both Rick and Darly look at him weirdly before hearing dalry let out a low chuckle, "Yeah ok" 

—----------------------------------------------------------

Y/n had been at the prison for about a month now, he had fit right in becoming friends with Carol and Maggie helping the woman out alot, sometimes going out with Rick and Glenn on runs.

"Hey" Daryl said, taking a bite out of the apple he had for breakfast, y/n startled, let out a yelp turning around smiling at him before letting out a hi. 

"Rick said that your town had a lot of supplies. He wants me to go get some you know the place wants to join me?" Dalry didn't know why he was asking you, he didn't know why he was so nervous about it either but he just knew he had to. Throughout your month here, dalry has watched you not in a weird way but to make sure you aren't a threat but as he watched he started to fall a bit, he didn't know why, maybe it was your hair and how it frames your face showing off your jawline, maybe it was how you handled Judith with such care that it made his heart swell, maybe it was how you treated him. You treated him well for someone who you barely knew, bringing him snacks and drinks during patrol. This caused a lot of people to tease him. He didn't understand why...well he didn't believe it, He didn't believe you liked him. He was just a redneck nobody, that's what he told himself to not get his hopes up. 

"Um dalry? You ok I said yes" y/n said getting close to dalry not noticing how their chest were so close to connecting, and how dalry sucked in a breath of air holding it. 

"Y-yeah sorry, let's leave in an hour ok I'll meet you at the gate" Daryl then walked off hiding the blush that covered his face. 

Waiting by the gate with a small bag and a decent coat, y/n see Glenn and Maggie come out of the watch tower above her, "having fun you too?" Y/n says smirking knowing exactly what they were doing up there. Turning red, Glenn lets out an embarrassed laugh before changing the subject. "You're waiting on Daryl aren't you" glenn says leaning on the railing, he knows about your crush because Maggie knows.. blushing at the name of the dark haired archer y/n rolls his eyes about to say something before,

"Are you ready y/n?" Daryl says bringing his motorcycle near the gate, starting it up, Daryl notions for you to get on, you happily jump on, forgoing about Glenn and Maggie riding off with him through the gate. 

The ride to your town was quiet but not awkward, holding onto his shoulders a blush creeps up your face you had never been able to feel his muscular shoulders before this only watching him work from afar so this was liel heaven and you were loving this, you had thought that you were the only one affected by this little supply run but much to your knowledge the grumpy archer was having trouble driving due to your touch. He had been touched before his brother dragged him to parties in his teen years so he had so much experience with it but your touch made him actually feel something other than just lust,  it made him feel soft and warm and it gave him butterflies. He hated it but loved it at the same time wondering if you felt the same. 

Arriving just outside the town, Daryl parked his motorcycle hiding it under some falling tree branches. He puts his backpack on grabbing his crossbow, "you ready y/n?" He said pulling back the string of his crossbow loading it with an arrow. Nodding at the archer they both slowly take off towards the town, making little to no noise. They were both very sneaky people perfect for this type of run.

Arriving at the town pharmacy they break the glass door being thankful it's the apocalypse and the alarms are all disabled due to no power. Killing the few zombies that were in there y/n looks down. "Huh hello Mr. Blake it's my gym teacher" Daryl walks up and lets out a quite sorry not knowing what to say.

"Oh don't be he was a prick refused to believe I was a man, his daughter sure though so she practically worshiped me" letting out a small laugh y/n walks off and starts cramming stuff in the bag medicine, feminine stuff anything that can fit in the bag. 

After clearing out the pharmacy, y/n and Daryl go to walk to the bike only about 2 miles away from town hidden under some tree branches before a group of zombies come down the corner.

"Shit…let's go this way" y/n says, dragging Daryl down an alley only to be stopped by more zombies. Letting out al out fuck they both run down the alley turning away from from ground of zombies that were at the corner who have now gotten closer.

"Let's head to my old house! It will be safe" daryl nodded his head following y/n to his house. They both slammed the door shut when they got there, breathing heavily trying to catch their breath. Looking around the house Daryl noticed how clean it looks only small amount of dust since it's only been a month since y/n was here last, he wondered how he stayed here all that time alone, while looking around he notices a picture of a girl in what seems to be a batman shirt and basketball pants sporting a backwards hat picking it up he smiles at it.

"Is this you? You look cool" y/n looks over seeing this picture Daryl is holding, laughing at it before telling him it was the day that he had gotten approved to get top surgery and how happy he was.

Y/n looks up at Daryl expecting to see him still looking at the picture but he was already looking at him with his blue eyes piercing his heart. "Daryl you're staring at me" your heart picking up the pace as he just continues to do so. "I like staring at ya, got a problem with it?" He says tilting his head at you, challenging you to say something back. Not being one to back down you stepped closer making the gap between you smaller, putting your hands around his neck pulling him down so your lips are practically touching his ear.

"No, but are you ever going to make a move?" You say in a low voice before pulling away, smiling with pride at teasing him. Going to walk away he grabs your wrist pinning you against the wall, letting out a groan at the impact you look up making eye contact with Daryl his eyes dark with lust, and need. Letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding he leans closer to you, making your nose touch, his lips ghosting over yours.

"If you wanted me so bad why didn't you make a move huh?" His voice is low and filled with a teasing tone waiting for your response. Rolling your eyes, you try to wiggle out of his grip but not budging.

"I never said that" you knew you were lying but you'd rather lie than admit it, Daryl didn't seem to like that at all, he grabbed your face in his hand making you look at him.

"Sweetie I don't like lying, now tell me the truth" he said in a soft but dominant tone, he didn't like to be rough but knew it was needed sometimes. Not breaking y/n laughs in his face."Oh fuck off dixon" darly raised his eyebrow, smirking at what you siad before letting go of your arms still holding onto your face he pulls you toward his making you have to stand on your toes.

"Listen sweetheart this will go your way if you stop being a brat and be a good boy for me ok?" He said tilting his head slightly smirking at how your face turned bright red at the nickname, he knew he had gotten you then. 

Embarrassment rushing through your body you turned your head as much as you could with the hold he had on your face, not wanting him to have a clear view of your embarrassed face.

"Aw, is someone embarrassed? Embarrassed they got caught for being a fucking brat, all because what? You want me to fuck you?" Darly smirked as your eyes widened at the last part, your face becoming even brighter at the idea of him knowing of your fantasies about him. 

"Oh so now you shut up huh?" Daryl said with a evil smile on his face, you were shocked at what he had said you were close with Daryl but he never showed signs that he liked you back. This was so sudden you had to process it.

"Are you fucking with me dixon?" You said giving him a sour look, not wanting to get your heart broken but a joke. Daryl looked at you shocked and started laughing. You felt like he was mocking you before he suddenly put his warm Hands on your hips pulling you closer to him. "Do you think I talk to just anyone like this? Do you think I go around holding people like this? No that's because I've been waiting to do this with you" he takes his pointer finger and puts it under your chin lifting your face up to look at him.

"If my gut is right, you want me to, right?" Daryl said looking down at you, his eyes looking into yours deeply, you take a deep breath before making the distance between your lips none existent as you pull him into an intoxicating kiss, it was filled with need and want as your lips fought for dominance. 

Swiping his tongue across your low lip asking for entrance, you gladly give it to him letting his warm wet tongue slide into your mouth. It felt like heaven to finally have datly tongue inside your mouth feeling it fight against your own for dominance, him winning in the end. 

Pulling away from the heated make out session, Daryl lets out a breathy chuckle running his hand through his hair in the process.

"I didn't think you had it in you pretty boy, you're just full of surprises huh?"  Daryl said, looking down at you, his eyes going back from your eyes to your lips practically craving to kiss you again, wanting to feel your plump soft lips on his slightly rough ones. "Since I'm sure you won't ask, I guess I will darlin' you mind showing me to your room so I can properly devour you"  he said, his eyes full of lust, biting at his bottom lip in anticipation at your answer.

Nodding your head in excitement, afraid that if you answered he'd hear how lust filled and breathless your voice sounds. Taking his hand you guide him up the creaky stairs going all the way down the hallway to the last room before opening it. Your room was filled with old stuff, old rock posters hanging on the wall along with some vinyl on the wall. Letting go of his hand you turn to face him but come in contact with his lips, kissing you he pushes you up against the wall taking his hand and putting it under your chin for better access to your mouth. Using his other free hand he grabs your waist pulling you in closer to him.

"Oh I'm going to ruin you sweetie" Darly said in a sweet tone underline with something evil.

Slightly panting you look up at him practically begging with your eyes at him to ruin you. Lifting you up in his eyes with ease he puts your back against the wall using one hand to hold your leg and the other holding on your chin. "Do you want me to ruin you? Make you beg for my touch?" Darly said in such a sweet tone you couldn't help but whine at it, smiling at your whine he tightened his hold leaning in closer to your ear, "aww poor thing, now come be a good boy and tell me what you want from me if you don't I can't help you darlin' " Darly purred into your ear. 

Whining even louder you started to move a bit before Daryl's hold on you tightened, you were sure you'd have marks on you but you didn't mind the idea you loved in fact. Letting out a defeated sigh you looked into his eyes, 

"Please..ruin my daryl" you looked away blushing at what you had said, hearing the male in front of you laugh you feel him start to pick you up hanging onto him for support. Laying you down on the bed flat dalry slides his vest off his shoulders before swiftly taking his shirt off. Blushing at the action you can't help but admire his chest, the little scars on it from his past and present, his tattoo you had never seen till then it was nice. Snapping at the feeling of someone pulling you towards the End of the bed you see Daryl, the tough archer on his knees below you looking up for permission for something. 

Kissing at your clothes skin he looks up giving you a small smirk, "can I take these off?" Daryl asks as he hooks his fingers on the waist of your pants, letting out a yes he wastes no time in taking your pants and your boxers off. Feeling exposed you close your legs before having them prided open but Daryl hands. Leaving little butterfly kisses all over your thighs, before coming face to face with your cunt blowing on it he laughs at how you whine at the feeling. Hooking his arms around your legs to position them on his shoulders he looks up, " you ready sweetie?" Letting out a shaky breath you nod your head.

Leaning forward Daryl gives you a long slow lick relishing in your taste before dipping his tongue in you, letting out a low Moan you grab onto his hair making him Groan into you. Gently sucking on your clit he takes his hand putting two fingers to your mouth, at first not knowing what he wants it finally clicks opening your mouth you let him two fingers in gently sucking on them.

Pulling his fingers out of your mouth he takes his soaked middle finger at your entrance gently massaging it, your spit and slick mixing before plunging his finger in you. Letting out a high pitched moan you swear you can feel him smirking from his position between you. "So vocal, so sweet I love your taste" He says before starting a steady pace with his finger and tongue. Taking his finger in and out of you at a slow pace he continues to eat you out sucking on your sensitive bud while speeding up. Taking another finger he slowly inserts into you loving the feeling of your walls clenching on him. His pants became tight at his growing erection. Starting at a faster pace, he makes sure to continue to give attention to your clit, loving how your moans become higher as you reach your peak. Using his tounge to fuck you along with his two fingers you feel hot, loving the feeling of his mouth om you. You feel a weird sensation in your lower stomach whining louder as it grows bigger and bigger. Before you know it you're screaming, grabbing  his hair, pushing his face into you more, riding out your orgasm in his face. 

Slowly coming down from your high, Daryl continues to lap up your wetness, loving the salty sweet taste. Lifting his head up his face is glistening with you on him, he lacks his lips before taking his fingers in his mouth slowly sucking them clean. This action makes you whine, clenching your thighs together. Chuckling at your action he puts his hands on both thighs spreading them open, leaving hot kisses on them before gently kissing your clit, smiling at how sensitive you are. Whining at just a simple kiss he loved it, loved having you like this. 

"Do you want to continue sweetie?" Daryl asked before he did anything else, hearing you say yes he smiled again swiftly getting rid of his pants, him on full display for you now. Blushing at the sight of him, you couldn't help but stare in admiration at his length. "Are you having fun?" Darly said in a cocky tone before putting his hands under your chin. Rolling your eyes you reach for the bottom of your shirt lifting it over your head, now you were both even.

For a few seconds it was silence, just the both of you admiring each other's body. Then Daryl picks you up, letting you wrap your legs around him, pulling you into a heated kiss, your guys teeth clacking together. Setting you gently down on the bed he pulls away, a string of saliva showing. Kissing down your jaw to your neck he leaves little bites all over. Whining at the feeling you grab onto his hair raking your hands through it. 

Leaving open wet kisses down your neck to your chest he gives an experimental kiss on your nipple, hearing you take in a shape of breath and let out a moan he continues, sucking and licking on it while using his other hand to play and twist at it loving your cries underneath him. Repeating the process on the other one he pulls away, to look at you. Your chest full of bites and your nipples red from all the attention they were given, your face contorted with pleasure still with a thin layer of sweat over your face. 

"Please..please daryl'' you say, reaching for his face to pull him into a kiss, laughing into the kiss he plunges his tongue into your mouth playing with your for dominance while his hand travels down to in between your legs, rubbing eights into your sensitive clit. 

"Please what? Come on tell me" he coos at you while still rubbing eights into you loving how you can barely even make a sound as your mouth hangs open. "Please…fuck me" you didn't expect to say it, but something inside you wanted to do it for him. Smirking he gives you a gentle kiss, "good boy, that's all you needed to do" 

Sitting comfortably in between your legs he pumps himself a couple of times, hissing when he gently rubs at the tip before lining up with you mixing his precum and yours together. "Ok imma put it in, are you ok?" He asks as he gently rubs your thighs, nodding your head you put your own hand over your mouth to keep quiet. Gently pushing the head in he takes a deep breath before pushing hold of himself inside you groaning at how tight you were. 

"You ok darlin'?" He says giving you a gentle kiss as he rubs your thighs to realize some pain. "Yeah..just getting used to it…you can move I'm fine" you say moaning as he moves a bit, taking himself out of you before slamming all of it you, letting out a choked moan you bite into his shoulder clawing slightly at his back. Rubbing your thighs he gives you kisses all over your body praising you for how good you're doing. "Oh my good boy, you're doing so well. I'm going to move now Ok just bite on my shoulder Ok darling" 

Nodding your head you bite down on his shoulder preparing for him to move. Taking it out slowly before thrusting it back into you, keeping a slow but rough pace. He continues to do this, taking the opportunity to bite down on your neck hard,before pulling away and kissing the pain away. 

Moving at an agonizingly slow pace for you, pulling out of you so he can get a better angle you whine at the feeling of not being full, before you can whine any longer he takes your leg hooking it over his shoulder for a better angle. Realigning himself up with you he thrusts into you harder, hitting into you g-spot letting out a loud moan daryl quickly uses his free hand to cover your mouth shushing at you, "be quiet for me, ok you'll be my good boy if you do" he says in a sweet, seductive tone. He starts to move at a faster paste, going in and out of you faster and faster. 

Feeling that familiar feeling in your stomach tighten your claw at his back, you're pretty sure he will have marks on his back. "Daryl…I'm close.." you let out before a moan comes out quickly using daryl's hand to cover your mouth, darlys eye widen ar what you do before it's replaced with his cocky grin. He quickened his pace going faster than before, suddenly that feeling in your stomach snapped. Letting out a muffled moan you dig your nails into his back as you get fucked through your orgasm.

Slowly Daryl pulls out of you, you Hiss at the feeling. "you do so well, are you ok sweetie?" Darly said, putting a gentle hand on your cheek. "Yeah I'm fine daryl…can I help you?" You said looking up at him, his eyes widened at what you asked, "Are you sure darling?" He says with a confused tone. 

""Yes I am, I want to ...please" grinning at you Daryl gets up from the bed helping you get off it as well, helping you kneel down at the spot  he was eating you out earlier, stroking himself as you get situated. Placing a shaky hand where he was, you give kitten licks on the tip of it. grasping the bed, Daryl throws his head back in pleasure. Pleased at what you did you take about half of him in your mouth going up and down slowly making sure to trace the underside with your tongue. Grabbing onto the back of your head he gently guides you up and down using your mouth. 

"Fuck y/n I'm goi-!" Before he could finish he pushed your head down taking him fully in before busting inside your mouth, gagging a bit you tried to swallow as much as you could but a little came out the sides of your mouth. Pulling off you wipe your mouth on the back of your hand. "Oh you did so good, my good boy" Daryl says, holding you by your chin to look up at him, before leaning down and kissing you with need and love. "Come on let's get you cleaned up" 

[jonahmagnus]

It wasnt meant to be whiny it was me asking for advice because GOD ITS SO COOL WEVE GOT MORE TRANSFEM CHARACTERS WE NEED THEM (/genuine) but my brain is a little fuckass who wont stop throwing a fit and i recognize this and i wanna make it Stop. But i cannot find any advice online. So i figured a fellow transmasc who delights in june might have an idea. Thats all. I genuinely want to be normal about her and have been unable to figure out how :( i was also super rsding due to people being assholes in an unrelated matter so my intent did not come off the way i wished it would. Im very sorry

Thank you for the apology and the clarification. I still uh, dont really have any advice for you. I would recommend examining the things you see in her and the emotions attached to that, then reanalyzing/rereading June herself. A lot of the repression and other things about her are a trans experience many can relate too, so I do understand seeing yourself in her. Like, god, how do I say this. The want for yourself to wear a suit is the same want she would have for a dress. Does that make since? I just woke up. I see a lot of myself in Vriska- which is why Im sure she is a trans woman. Because I feel what she feels, but in the other direction.

Uhm. Okay. I hope that makes since because trying to say it out loud isnt working out super well. Anyways, I think you should also just. Look at fanart of her. Read fanfic from her POV. Think about her being soooo happy. Become a junepilled junehead. I believe in you dude. If your brain keeps acting up beat it with a stick. Hope this helps .