#Holding Space

[mymidwestheart]

[unwelcome-ozian]

[feather-storm]

Never look back...

For the line prompt "Between jagged mountain edges, I hold space for you" 6/24

[loveandthepsyche]

There's something so beautiful about being heard. It leaves people with the experience that they matter and that they're valued. 

I really do believe that listening is the highest form of loving.

~ Terces Engelhart

[gramarobin]

[clarkkantagain]

ryan pfluger holding space,2021

[thesafecafe]

Holding space / safe space for Desi Atiny, if anyone would like to vent, talk, rant, or just need a distraction from the situation rn, my asks and dm's are open! I am here to listen and talk if needed

[frommyfavoritebooks]

attributes of a good relationship:

selfless listening calm communication holding space for each other strong trust, no need to control authenticity, no need to perform rest, laughter, and adventure together the love between you is empowering commitments to each other are clear flexible, no need to always be together both have the space to grow and change

- clarity & connection, yung pueblo 

[sexualassbutts]

~ Allie Michelle

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

I think one of the kindest things you can do for people with various mental health struggles is just... let people back into your life after they've been absent for a while.

Making friends as an adult is so fucking hard already and isolating yourself from other people is a very common symptom of depression, anxiety, burnout, ocd, trauma, grief, etc. Which means that someone will do the hard work of recovery/healing and resurface back into a world where their previous friends have written them off because they stopped showing up.

So if you know someone where you're like "yeah we could have been better friends but they fell off the map a bit" and that person suddenly reaches out, or starts showing up to events even though you kind of forgot they were still in the group chat... well they may have been Going Through It and you don't actually have to punish them for their absence you can just be glad that they're back.

[unwelcome-ozian]

[iscariotapologist]

today in church one of the priests referred to trans people as "those who are growing into the gender they were called to be" and i'm kind of enjoying the idea of like....divinely ordained top surgery

[littlemagics]

Friends holding space. Messages from the other side. A crack in the armor. A tiny sliver of light in the dark. A message from the magazine. How it all ties together. Pre-made soup for a weary body.

[evolvingbeautyandmess]

POST #2 USUAL DISCLAIMER: so these blog posts are big dictated are being dictated to my phone via speech to text and I typically as if it's able person do not have a spoons to properly edit them so that this going to remain as is. So heads up. Also I don't know why Google sensors curse words.

Okay so it's towards the end of the day and I'm about to start my night time routine.

And I am still adjusting to looking access to Twitter lacking access to Twitter and thus lacking access to the disability community that is on Twitter and that I was a part of.

I'm telling myself that it makes sense that it still bothers me because not only is it further social isolation in a time where there is a surge in covid cases at least here in New York City and so I have to be very careful and not really hang out with people in person and now I'm even more socially isolated

although I will say I have been adapting Instagram and blue sky so that there's more community on there and what I really need to do is start finding more community on Tumblr. It's not like I'm totally isolated from community it's just that I'm a bit more isolated from from what I knew. So I am working on that I am working on getting more involved in the communities that I do have access to because that's something within my power and ability.

So there's that but at the same time though you feel more empowered the situation and makes me feel less isolated but I think just the fact that it happened that because apparently as I was mentioning the first post a lot of accounts on Twitter or suspended who were or are rather pro Palestine so that's incredibly eerie. you know you always hear about how you know posts about Palestine are being suppressed and the algorithm is not sharing them perhaps as equally as they would other topics but I've never really seen proof of that either way.

And this is not to say it's not happening because I wouldn't be surprised if it was happening but it is to say I haven't personally seen proof or I could say this is definitely happening. But to find out that I'm not the only account on Twitter that was suspended and that one common thread of all these accounts apparently is that we are pro Palestine and quite openly so is really eerie.

I think also just the and why I need to hold space for and remember to hold space for is that we are living in very f****** weird times and not yay weird bad weird. You know right now I am part of the collective effort to fight a f****** genocide and get a sides should not be f****** happening no genocides should not be f****** happening. They should not be normal. They should have never ever happened ever and yet there are several of them that are occurring at this point in time. and to see what's happening because now via social media you're saying it you know sometimes if not in real time it's the updated everyday and it breaks your heart on a core level.

And the other thing that I'm focusing a lot on my energy towards as it activist and artist is fighting these proposed mask bans, which holy f*** I mean what the f*** is going on? Because we're literally seeing a very real proven surge in covid cases and yet and this is happening in you know including in New York and New York City and yet our governor wants to f****** ban Masks including covid masks and she's trying to say oh it's being done in the name of Jewish safety f*** off just f*** off. Many Jewish leaders in the community are not buying it and also like what the f*** does she think that Jewish people cannot get covid? Does she think that you cannot be disabled and Jewish? I can attest that you can be these things.

So it's really just two major things that are happening as - it's not the only issues obviously there's many many issues yet another black person was murdered by the police. So there's obviously there are many many issues but for me as an activist & artist this is what I've been making a lot of of my protest art about has been to fight the genocide and to fight these bans on masks and these are two things that should not exist.

And yet they do. Like we should have no need as people to have to protest these things and yet we do and yet our protests are met with oppression and sometimes violence and that being really more towards the genocide.

So the fact that towards the end of the day sometimes not all the time but sometimes I feel sad and overwhelmed and like things are just like f***** up makes sense. You know in your house is on fire and you feel like holy s*** this house is on fire but you see someone else maybe up here or neighbor who doesn't seem to realize or has not processed or is it ignoring at the house is on fire it's not act like the houses on a fire it's not like you who's Big to extra or dramatic or whatever is that you are aware that the house is on fire and what the f***? How do we put the fire out?

So there's that and then of course for myself as a disabled person who has to isolate themselves from people you know I waited 7 years I was stuck in my home for seven f****** years because I lack the proper wheelchair and then in December I finally got one enough that I knew exactly what my life would be like but one thing I wanted to do was to go to protests and see my friends in person. And those are two things that I really wasn't able to do because I mean why I had to adjust to just speak out in the world again that was a big adjustment but then also with this search and covid cases and people just f****** pretending that covid is not even a f****** thing that in itself makes your head cave in. People get sick and they go oh yeah I have this weird flu some people don't even f****** say the word covid which is just like what the f*** is going on. But a lot of these people who are pretending that covid is no longer a thing as if this was a matter of f****** belief fun fact it's not those are the people who are not fully aware or are not openly behaving like they know that the house is on fire. Those are the people who in a search of covid cases no a surge of covid cases still do not wear masks.

Anyway so the point being is that this is not how I thought my life would be and that breaks my heart.

So if at the end of the day I feel a bit sad because of that that makes sense too.

I will say that I am adapting in that instead of focusing on what I can't do what I don't have access to, I'm really starting to embrace video chat with friends and when I'm finding out chats plural and when I'm finding out is that a lot of people that I know are absolutely down to have a video chat they're just not going to be the ones to bring it up first. And I think this is common because a lot of people right now we're overwhelmed and so maybe you want to reach out to people but you're just trying to get through your life you know because and I say this because almost every person that I asked about doing a video chat I said yes and there it's and they're very much into it. And when I've realized about myself is that I need to not to say hey we should have a video chat sometime I didn't say hey great you want to do that awesome what date are you free I'm free on the 15th at 1:00 p.m. does that work for you and f****** set a time and date and put it in the calendar or it does not happen and a lot of people that I know that I'm chatting with are the same f****** way. And I realizing is about ourselves let's not say hey let's just get in 2 weeks let's say so let's do this on the 30th at 2:00 p.m. or it won't f****** happen.

So on one hand it's a very very weird and challenging time. I've been through worse times but at least personally don't even get me started about voting holy f***. I mean yes Kamala is a slight improvement from genocide Joe but just because Kamala does not have a genocide related nickname doesn't mean she's not complicit but the same time though have you seen project 2025? Holy f*** it's bad. And the orange fascist is really really bad and it sucks that basically it's like okay choose between you know a smaller house fire or a blazing much larger house fire but either way the house is going to be on fire it's just a what size and degree.

And also you know as an anti zionist Jew and in general who's a person who is against genocide do I vote for Kamala? It's a thing it's a thing and all these things way on your heart

And I'm saying this because sometimes at the end of the day I feel sad and drained even if it's a better day and I wonder why do I feel so sad and drained I feel sad and drained because the f****** house is on fire but the fact of the house is on fire has been so normalized that I sometimes forget oh right I'm reacting to the fact that the house is on fire and my reaction is totally f****** valid.

Anyway there are other things to say but I'll leave it for another time. Today here's some things that I did that were enjoyable. One in the morning after making the deposit to the bank I explored Washington Street in Manhattan in the West village and that had a lot of fun neat things to photograph. I didn't go the whole length of the street because I wanted to get home before it got too hot and my battery on my motorized wheelchair was starting to get a little low. Not dangerously low but enough for it's okay why don't we go home I do not live anywhere near Washington Street. So that was enjoyable and I took some photos and I shared them online. And as I mentioned I also have been really creating a better sense of community on the social media sites that I do have access to and that being blue sky and Instagram and Facebook. Also and this meant a lot to me is that I had asked this person from the digital community disability community on Twitter to make it tweet and share what's happening to me that I was suspected permanently and it was most likely due to the fact that I'm pro Palestine and that I tweeted about that and share some things and that I can't get my account back and I want to share that just people know what happened to me but also the warning to others. Not to say that you should not talk about what's happening in Palestine on Twitter you most definitely should but if you do this might happen heads up. And it really sold my heart that people in the community are sharing it and they're trying to help me get my account back because you know I'm not a big influencer type person but now people who have a bit more clout are sharing it and I appreciate that more than I can say. You know the other night I was having these kind of negative thoughts and I let them go because I really had to approve that they were true that's why I react to them but you know sometimes I was like well will people even notice that I'm gone and people even care and the answer is yes and that was nice. So the other thing that happened that was quite nice today was that I started to declutter be living room area of my apartment. And that felt good because I really feel like when our room is cluttered the energy is cluttered and I think you feel that more when things are more stressful so it does feel sort of cleansing and clearing to declutter so me and my home health aide who was quite enthusiastic about it which was quite nice I can do a little bit each day.

And so that's that I'm going to add some paragraph breaks but that's what's going on.