#I AM FUCKING EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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aaaaahhgghh someone send me that lil guy whos clenching his teeth and covered in blood. you know that guy. the drawing. you all know him. send him to me. please.
#I AM FUCKING EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!#WHY AM I WORKING 7 DAYS IN A ROW THIS WEEK FOR JUST 1 DAY OFF!!!!!!!#ugh. and then my wifi randomly fucking dies and the motem is probably damaged but its probably something else stupid#and nothing i do will fix it#and im forever doomed about it#and my couch covers dont fit properly#and i have to change my car insurance and i dont want to and i hate it#and i have to go to walgreens and pick up my t and make sure my address change went thru#and i have so many appointments coming up#car. vet. dentist.#when will i be free. when will everything fucking stop. calm down world!!!!! chill out!!!#i did not need this evil wifi breaking shit. i could've handled everything else just fine but to add one more fucking thing on top of it all#i just need a god damn break#so send me that creature covered in blood and clenching his teeth. you know the one
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slut autism is a curse because i was designed in a lab to reach pure sensory ecstasy during sex but actually having sex in these wacky modern times requires constantly responding to messages on a piece of metal that doesnāt feel real to me and i suck at it so bad so idk. if you want this pussy write me a letter
#blushing#am i the only person fucking exhausted by messagingā¦.#i want to connect with people so bad. i wanna hear their stories. and yeah i wanna fuck nasty#but oh my god. i cannot keep doing this š#personal
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If they only knew....
#aesthetic#mentally tired#mentally fucked#depressing quotes#mentally exhausted#drugs aesthetic#edgy theme#iv drugs#mentally unwell#i am unstable#suic1de#suislide#tw depressing stuff#tw death#tw self destruction#sorry for being depressing#depressing shit#depressiv#tw depressing thoughts#i wanna kms#i wanna die#im going to kms#ready to kms#i want to kms
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Ghostfire Shen Yuan loyally following the lonely, undying, forgotten Luo Binghe from the original outline.
They never even met.
Shen Yuan had died long before Luo Bingheās story was set to start. Abandoned by his System, he was left wandering the realms, searching for anything to latch onto, anything to stave off the darkness encroaching on his consciousness whenever he stopped. He keeps himself entertained with little jokes and references that will never reach anyone. At least back home, there were other people on the opposite side of his screen reacting, seeing. Paying attention.
He never would have thought heād miss the times he was perceived by others. Heād give anything, though. Anything.
He stumbles upon the protagonist as heās ascending the stairs of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect for the first time. Dressed in rags and heaving with the effort, Luo Binghe is exactly as Shen Yuan had pictured: a little bun, soft and kind and so very brave.
The excitement wears off soon enough. When the tea ceremony is held, Shen Yuan watches, hopelessly trying to stop the cup from hitting Bingheās head. He lunges at Shen Jiu; let him be identified and exorcised, at least he would have done something with himself, however useless. It doesnāt work. Of course notānothing can come between Luo Binghe and his fate.
Shen Yuan thinks about leaving. Many times. But every time he considers the possibility of going back to wandering the world, or just passing on⦠Well. Thereās still a lot to see, isnāt there? It will get better. It will.
Only, it doesnāt. Not really.
Thereās no harem; thereās no warm comfort offered to Luo Binghe by a sympathetic beauty, no wedding celebrations, no moments of gentle companionship, however brief, however superficial. Thereās no camaraderie with his demon underlings, his generals, his allies; itās all casual cruelty and dismissals, before itās violence and subjugation.
Thereās no joy. Thereās no hope. Thereās no ābetterā.
Something is wrong, thatās clear. Something is wrong, and Shen Yuan has no one to blame.
This is not the Proud Immortal Demon Way he knows.
Centuries later, when Luo Binghe begs for the heavens to allow him to die, Shen Yuan hears. When Luo Binghe rages against the passage of time, alone in the wreckage of his palace, left behind by everyone heād ever known, Shen Yuan accompanies him. When Luo Binghe lies down in the Holy Mausoleum and refuses to get up, Shen Yuan waits, as he had for centuries, until Luo Binghe opens his eyes again and takes to the road.
They end up in a hidden realm so filled with Yin energy that Shen Yuan can channel it to manipulate his form into that of his former body. Itās not detectable by the living, but itās there. He feels stronger, too. He can walk, float, fly, interact with what few other ghosts they encounter.
Still, Luo Binghe cannot see him.
Luo Binghe doesnāt talk much. Well, that makes sense, he was never in the habit of talking to himself, but still. Itās lonely.
They end up in a town where a diviner takes one look at Luo Binghe and offers him a free reading. Shen Yuan canāt enter her tent, well-warded against foreign entities as it is, so he waits outside.
She tells Luo Binghe of the little hanger-on heās got. A powerful one, too, though heās still getting used to his powers. Heās been here for a long time, she says. Since he was a child. He comes from far awayāfarther than even the most distant star.
Luo Binghe begins talking to him. Shen Yuan isnāt sure why, but heās not complaining!
Luo Binghe also begins meditating again, trying to soothe the damage done by Xin Mo over the centuries. For every meal, he places a few fruits or snacks across from him on a plate heād made himself, which he eats only after finishing his own dish. He makes space by his side whenever he walks on a narrow road. He stops at every landmark and tells stories about them, always starting the same way.
āDo you remember whenā¦ā becomes Shen Yuanās favourite phrase.
One night, Luo Binghe sighs and looks across the table. Shen Yuan places himself so that heās in Luo Bingheās focus.
āWhat is it, Binghe?ā
Luo Binghe doesnāt answer him, of course. Still, it feels like a conversation, when he says:
āI wish I knew your name.ā
Shen Yuan frets. Heās been trying to manipulate the physical world, but he never got the hang of it. Heād tried drawing in sand, with water, just pushing things off shelves. And yet, nothing.
āIām sorry, I wishāā he tries, but Luo Binghe is already talking again.
āI wonder if we ever crossed paths when you were alive.ā Heās expressed this thought more than once. Shen Yuan never likes to think about how theyāve missed each other, how theyād been set up for failure from the start. āI wonder if we would have been friends.ā
Shen Yuan scoffs. Of course not. Him and the protagonist? No way.
Butāthose cold star eyes, blindly searching for him, trying to land on him⦠They make him want to say, I would have liked that.
He reaches a hand out to touch Luo Bingheās forehead. Heās taken to doing it whenever Luo Binghe broods, or makes a silly joke Shen Yuan wishes he didnāt find funny. Itās soothing.
He wishes Binghe could feel it.
When his finger touches the demon mark, it blazes. Luo Binghe gasps, that heavy gaze settling on Shen Yuanās face.
Shen Yuan startles, and jumps away.
āNo! Wait!ā
Shen Yuan hesitates. Luo Binghe is looking around himself, eyes begging for even a wisp of Shen Yuanās shadow.
He canāt deny Luo Binghe this.
He canāt deny himself this.
He reaches out again. This time, he cups Luo Bingheās cheeks. When those eyes clear of panic and widen in awe, he whispers, softly, āShen Yuan. My name is Shen Yuan.ā
Luo Binghe looks like heās been handed a treasure so precious heās afraid to touch it. He hesitates, raising his hands in careful starts and stops, before taking Shen Yuanās face in them, gently caressing the soft, cold skin of his face. His eyes dance with the haste he takes in memorising Shen Yuanās features.
Then, he smiles. Helpless and weak and so, so precious. Shen Yuan has not seen hope so bright in Luo Bingheās face since that fateful day on Cang Qiong Mountain.
āHello, Shen Yuan.ā
#svsss#svsss fic#luo binghe#bingyuan#shen yuan#bing-xiong#lbx#i DONT know what the fuck this is#im so exhausted. i am not in the right writing mindse#but please. please ponder this with me im begging so much#ignore every spotty grammar instance. im waving the ESL flag like its a shield#luo bing-xiong PLEASE tell me ur secreta#.txt#loyal ghost au
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I'm so tired of feeling like this.
#actually mentally ill#depressing shit#mental health#sorry for being depressing#anxi4ty#cw vent#i cant take this shit anymore#im going to kms#im losing it#ready to kms#depressing life#kill my life#why am i like this#i wanna kms#kms#i want to kms#what is wrong with me#i hate this#what the fuck#i dont get it#i hate everything#i dont care anymore#fuck everything#mentally fucked#i have no mouth and i must scream#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#mentally exhausted#im a horrible person#mentally unstable#bed rotting
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Something I need people to understand, especially able-bodied people but I've gotten this from other disabled folk as well, is that yeah I could be doing more, but oftentimes I have to choose between doing what's required of me and what's good for me.
Yeah, I probably could get all of my schoolwork done no problem, but I'm so exhausted after just going to school that doing anything more than lying in bed for a few hours would cost me. Can I physically get up? Yeah, I do when my parents demand it of me, but it's not good for me.
I've tried doing more, I've tried pushing myself to do the things that I need to get done, it just doesn't work. I'll just be even more exhausted, I'll just be in more pain, and it's not fair.
Please stop reminding me of my "potential". Please stop telling me that I'm "not trying my hardest". I know that. Sometimes my hardest is hard on me.
#actually disabled#disability#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#disabilties#i am so tired y'all#i took a several hour nap#then had to go to the store#now I'm doing homework#the nap didn't help by the way#i still need to shower ugh#if one more person tells me i could be trying harder#i'm gonna lose my shit#I KNOW THAT#IT'S EXHAUSTING AS IT IS#FUCK OFF
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This might seem like an "old man yells at cloud" situation, but it's just wild growing up and being told how dangerous distracted driving is - how, at highway speeds, you can traverse the length of a football field (100 yards, 91 meters) in a matter of seconds - how one split second sending a text while driving could result in a potential fatal crash, and then getting on the road as a driver and being surrounded by billboards. Their entire purpose is to catch one's attention, so they're lining major roads, which tend to be highways. How is it that you're told how important it is to never be distracted while driving, but still being advertised to?
At best, this type of advertising is an eyesore to pedestrians and motorists and a general waste of electricity to light it, and at worst, it is an active danger considering they are there to advertise and therefore, must catch people's attention.
I'm not even against advertising in theory, but this particular mode bothers me so much and I hate how pervasive it is - especially in large cities or highways.
#politics#i don't know much about são paulo banning marketing billboards but on paper i want that here in the USA#as a motorist it at best just makes me more anxious driving in those larger cities because i want to FOCUS ON THE ROAD#and passing 5000 billboards per mile isn't helping actually!#i've gotten good at filtering that out of my FOV but it's still fucking exhausting lol#i especially hate those modern electric billboards. despise them actually#i am aware that advertising is a critical aspect to business management in some cases...#...but it shouldn't risk the safety of the populous for you to advertise to them and i see things like billboards as risking safety...#...i feel similarly about online advertising in that so much of it risks internet user's safety...#...such as flashing ads online which risk triggering epileptic seizures in light/photo-sensitive folks#distracted driving (texting): NO >:( || distracted driving (being advertised to): YAYYYY :D#i've been driving on my own for a few years now and i've been thinking about this for ENTIRELY too long
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arthur is rude to that one sex worker because the guys are fucking around as they oughtn't be and he actively wants the source of their distraction to go away. that is how he operates through the entire game: deliberate, utilitarian intimidation and strategic unpleasantness to achieve a goal. it is an early game commentary on arthur meant to position him as a big dog that barks. it is not a commentary on his views about women which are clarified many times afterward. you guys realize that right
#arthur morgan#rdr2#redmeta#this is one of the most wildly misinterpreted but also most obvious scenes where writers are teaching us how arthur moves through the world#i really don't mean to seem short here#i am just exhausted of reddit mentality low literacy āARTHUR WOULD SHOOT U IN THE FACE FOR FUN HE HATES WOMEN AND SLUTSā takes#my mistake was imagining a world where your average man online could intellectualize about narrative art#unless it is spoonfed to them on a shotty slug that says I'M STRAIGHT BUT I'D LET [MASC CHARACTER] FUCK ME
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for my warmup today i decided to make this lmao I get real tired of seeing some really bad takes about gender on the regular so i made this to express my frustration in a funni way
#alt text could be that i bring a very people don't owe you physical or any other proof of their gender to be that gender#i am not going to participate in discorse when i see the bad takes#HOWEVER#i will make silly memes because i am fucking exhausted about this#squish sona#squisheebug doodles#digital art#digital artist#sfw art#sfw furry#furry artist#gendervoid
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his hands are gentle.
#pathologic#daniil dankovsky#artemy burakh#burakhovsky#AUGHHHHHHHH#completely normal and heterosexual thing to think about ur colleague dankovsky good job#quarantine was so fucking good I am absolutely insane about it#didnāt like the fast travel mechanic but everything else? PEAK#that being said this piece isnāt rlly about quarantine at all#I just wanted to draw an exhausted and maybe infected daniil getting some comfort bc he sure does need it#very excited to see them interact more in the full game Iām so crazy#oof my art I guess
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will you promise that i'll see you again?
summary: your people refuse reason, and their damage refuses to heal. when it seems as if the whole world has left you, your dutiful knight still remains by your side.
word count: 2.3k
-> warnings: implied suicidal ideation (reader + unnamed side character), reader's previous deaths are mentioned in somewhat graphic detail
-> gn reader (you/yours)
taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr || @yuryuryuyurboat || @undrxtxd || @rainswept || @wanderersqt || @rozz-eokkk
< masterlist >
āyouāre one of the only things keeping me going, you know.ā
dainslef turned to you in surprise, the even neutrality to your tone a sharp contrast to the rapid pace of his heart. he wasnāt a fool, he knew that the hunt had to be taking a heavy toll on you, but thisā¦
this was more than he expected.
he knew he was one of a pitiful few who saw through celestiaās false puppet, who knew you for you and not their mirage. he knew that the entire world was hellbent on erasing you from existence, that youād been forced through your own death countless times as teyvat pulled you apart and pushed you back together far from the scene of your would-be murder. he saw the golden scars across your skin, the dried remains of blood lining the wounds you hadnāt been able to patch yet. heād been the one to wash them away, not minding the refuse soaking into his gloves if it meant your hands could be clean.
he recognized the dull exhaustion in your eyes, the same as the ones he saw in the reflections of lakes. tired, worn, barely there, hanging on by one solitary string that was wound so tightly around a desperate hand.
you had always been his reason for continuing. when the traveller broke down and the ruler of the abyss hid from the sun, you were there. when the chasmās mud clung to his boots and the memories in his head burned as nails forced between his eyes, you were there. his rosary was kept tight to his chest at all times, familiar prayers pulling him up in the morning and forcing him to sleep at night. he was alive for far, far too long, but you made it bearable. you were his duty, his promise.
he never once thought that heād be yours. then again, he never thought that heād have to defend you from the ones you once called friends. time never did pass how he expected it to.
āā¦leading light?ā
you looked down, twirling blades of grass around your fingers. he had led you up to a mostly desolate area of sumeru, west of bayda harbor. it close enough to the sea, forest, and desert that you could reasonably make an escape through any of those routes if need be, while also providing a rather pleasant view. the sky was bleeding red and gold as the sun sank below the horizon, a remarkable sight that fell on blind eyes. there was no use trying to enjoy natureās beauty when he still kept one hand on his sword and both ears pricked for the slightest sign of danger.
you shouldnāt have to worry about your safety. you shouldnāt have to prioritize based on how likely you are to get hurt, or how easily it would be to make an escape. you still flinched when the wind blew a little too quick, used to it heralding armored footsteps and battle cries. in another life, you were welcomed with open arms, able to enjoy yourself without constantly being on high alert. teyvat did what it could to adapt; the air was still, frozen in time, barely a bird chirping for miles. it was meant to be comforting, he thinks, but dead silence was more unnerving than any breeze.
āi mean it.ā he could hear every shift in his cloak around your shoulders, the heavy fabric doing little to soothe your stress. it was yours more than it was his now, to the point he felt claustrophobic wearing it. how long had he been traveling with you? the days blurred.
āi donāt doubt you.ā he never would. never could. heās not sure, even if he somehow wanted to, that his body would allow him to treat your words as anything less than fact. ābut i donāt understand what you mean.ā
you were a god. the creator, the first, the one that shaped the sovereigns scales and laid the foundations of earth. you predated the archons, celestia, the very skies themselvesā¦
and he, somehow, was a driving motivation for you?
his words must have been funny, a sharp laugh tumbling out of your mouth. it was bitter, humorless, and somewhat raspy. he made note to find some water for you later. āwhat else could i mean?ā you turn to him, some of his confusion lost as your eyes found his. even this burnt out, deep bags set beneath them, you still managed to steal the very air in his lungs. āyouāre the only reason iām still here.ā
he didnāt know what to say. what was there to be said, when you were you and he was him? when the world had abandoned you, it made sense youād cling to what remained faithful. it was merely coincidence he happened to find you first, thatās all. coincidence that you trusted enough not to run from, coincidence that you allowed to care for your injuries. there was nothing to say, because you held nothing for him in particular, only leaning on him out of need. he had to believe that. what was he left with if that wasnāt true? an awkward truth hid beneath his well-known lies, too large for him to see the edges, let alone to contain.
āplease⦠do not say such things again.ā to ask of his god what he could not ask of himself was surely some form of heresy, as was willingly laying aside his guard when he was the only one who was tasked with protecting you. he pulled his attention from the tide below, from the rustling trees, holding faith that the world would not be needlessly cruel. he stepped forward, kneeling beside you. even up close, you still seemed painfully small. āit is your own resilience that has allowed you to persevere.ā
itās the earth that leads you from danger.
itās the water that follows you wherever you go.
itās the leylines that whisk you to safety.
itās the wind that warns you of whatās to come.
itās the you from the past that protects the you in the present.
itās the you in the present that provides for the you in the future.
itās you, from everywhere and everywhen, continuing to fight.
and yet you sigh. you look away, across the sea, tracing fontaines skyline. āit really isnāt. i was lucky to run into you when i did.ā
you had just crossed the wall back into the forest, burning hot and shaking. he was the lucky one, in truth, to be able to pick your figure out from the sand below. perched on a high cliffside, even mitachurls were reduced to small brown flecks.
you had worn a cryo mageās cloak, which was what initially drew his attention. abyss activity wasnāt uncommon in the area, but a cryo mage in the desert⦠that was cause for intrigue. he stepped forward and slid down the steep face in front of him, a slight puff of dust marking his landing in the desolate sand of old vanarana.
he didnāt know what to expect. you stumbled around the jagged remains of a tree, heading for the statue of the seven. he followed, only growing more confused. cryo and dendro did not react with each other, and there was no way to āslowā a statue. a scouting mission, maybe? but why a cryo mage, when pyro would have been far more advantageous in the case of an attack?
he leaned around the corner carefully, prepared for the sight of a staff or the chanting of abyssal magic filling the air. the entire world seemed to be holding its breath, frozen in place and waiting for some trigger to continue.
he saw none of that. you were collapsed at the foot of the statue, faint wheezing only making it to his ears by virtue of the standstill around him. you held no staff, commanded no magic, your chest barely moving with air.
heād never seen a mage seek out the archons when dying. one hand squeezed the handle of his sword as he crept forward, ready to strike should the situation turn against him. the sand barely shifted beneath his feet, his own heart sounding too loud to his ears. you did not move, showing no signs that you had noticed his approach. he still didnāt trust it.
your cloak was tattered and torn, with thick gloves atypical of a mage. they reminded him more of hilichurl wraps, which was strange considering you wore no mask. your face was instead covered by what looked like eremite cloth, just as stained and dirtied as the rest of your clothes. what he could see looked almost human; in another life, he could believe you were a weary traveller, lost amidst the sand.
he was acting foolish. if the abyss had a human tool, he needed to figure out why. he reached down, undoing the sloppy knot of your veil and letting the brocade fall limply to the grass.
ā¦grass. he blinked, eyes flickering between the ground and your face, not sure which was harder to believe. flowers had bloomed around you, protecting your body from the blazing sands, and heād be a fool not to recognize the face plastered all over every bounty board.
he didnāt understand. if nothing else, he thought the archons would have enough respect for their creator to know when they were being lied to, yet before him was barely living proof of the inverse. sweat beaded along every inch of exposed skin, deep-set heat exhaustion burning you from the inside out. how could you be a threat? how could they be so blind?
he looked again, the shine of elemental sight straining his eyes, catching flickers of the dendro energy pouring from the statue. you were the only one the archons would feed. you were the only one to make the very earth break its own rules, allowing lotuses to bloom from barren soil. something painfully similar to rage threatened what remained of his rationality, and it took all he had to push it aside.
that didnāt matter. if he went off on some banal revenge quest, heād be no better than them. your safety mattered more. he picked you up and set aside how calm his curse felt, beginning the trek back to his camp. behind him, the flowers already began to wither, losing their persistence without you to foster it.
perhaps that initial meeting was luck. but these was no luck involved in your trust in him. when you woke up and saw him at your side, you chose to trust him. you chose to believe that he was not like the others, that he would protect you, and he was forever grateful for that trust. nobody could fault you for being angry, for being spiteful about what you were put through and choosing to lash out. nobody would have the right to be upset if you chose to vent your wrath against those that had hurt you.
but you didnāt. you chose, again and again, to believe in the world. you chose to let them live their lives, even if it meant getting hurt again in the process. you chose a quiet life traveling with him over the comfortable life on your throne. to willingly choose to travel with a disgraced knight to spare your people guilt⦠he couldnāt decide if it was noble or reckless. either way, he was selfishly happy that he was the one to stay by your side.
āi wonāt try to convince you. but, please.. do not give up on yourself so easily.ā i know far too many who have died by the same hand. āthe world and its opinion does not define you. only you get to decide where fate leads.ā
you lean towards him, and he thinks you might have passed out- but no, your head lands on his shoulder with far too much precision. he stiffens, not used to existence without a constant pain beneath his skin. āhow motivational. you tell all your soldiers that?ā
his heart is beating too quickly, thoughts unusually hard to grasp. youāre the only one who could have this effect on him. he only wished it wasnāt now, when your belief in yourself was on the edge. āi mean it. none of this is your fault, and neither are celestial actions the peopleās fault. i know that you are hurt, but i donāt want you to accept that main needlessly. you shouldnāt have to view your creation with such pain.ā slowly, carefully, he raises the hand closer to you, doing his best not to disturb you as he settles it on your arm. heās can only hope that the contact brings you as much comfort as it does him. āif nothing else, believe me. promise youāll at least try.ā
he doesnāt think youāll agree. why would you make a promise to one who represents the heavenās betrayal? why would you let him hold you close at all, when you can surely sense the bindings of those who tried to kill you wrapped tightly around his soul? he doesnāt know. all he can do is hope.
āā¦alright, dainslef. i promise.ā
twilight has long since fallen, and yet he smiles for the first time in centuries.
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin sagau#sagau#self aware genshin#dainslef#sagau dainslef#dainslef x reader#genshin dainsleif#dainslef x you#gender neutral reader#genshin impact x gender neutral reader#genshin x gender neutral reader#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin x gn reader#hes so shaped.... ily dain <3#just... shut up about dain's perspective of the creator. shh. its for the plot.#filtering should pick up on the warnings section and its very brief but to be very safe#tw sui ideation#tw suicidality#< popular tags; someone please tell me if i should use others too#to answer your unasked questions No i was not ok writing this. my ass was Exhausted#to be very clear i am better now were all good i was just having an awful two days#but we are so fucking back#had this marinating for a while just to like scrub out the more indulgent parts of it#there was a whole monologue about 'i cant fix it but i will be there for you. i cant make it go away but i can make it easier.' but. yk.#didnt fit the plot el em ay oh
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god i need a nap.
vote, reblog, and may we all get to enjoy the fattest of naps sometime soon.
#ray.txt#general shitposting#i guess#idk#i really am so fucking tired tho#profoundly exhausted by the horrors both mundane and monumental
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#aesthetic#mentally tired#mentally fucked#depressing quotes#mentally exhausted#drugs aesthetic#iv drugs#edgy theme#mentally unwell#i am unstable#depressiv#tw depressing thoughts#please help#send help#girl interrupted#i need heeeeelp#chronic illness#mentally unstable
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Okay, I think it's time I talked about my Duracell Bunny/Sleepy Time scale for autistic people/people with ADHD...
So, what's the scale:
If you have autism and/or ADHD, every activity exists on a scale from Duracell Bunny to Sleepy Time (with Normal in the middle).
A Duracell Bunny activity is something that you do to an extent that most neurotypical people are exhausted just thinking about. For example, before the joints in my hands got all fucked up, I could consistently write a really high word count per day, and I would regularly see people call it impossible. And as the years have gone on, most of the people I know of who hit similar word counts have all been diagnosed as autistic and/or ADHD.
A Sleepy Time activity is one where just looking a neurotypical doing it a regular amount makes you exhausted. Where the amount of energy required to do the thing wipes you out for the rest of the day.
Different people have different Duracell Bunny and Sleepy Time activities and one thing that I've noticed a lot of autistic and ADHD people do about their Duracell Bunny activities is look at autistic/ADHD people for whom it is a Sleepy Time activity and say "well, I'm autistic/ADHD and I don't have any trouble with it, so clearly you're just making an excuse."
And this is extra annoying because ADHD/autistic Duracell Bunnies have more energy for the thing than neurotypicals, so they can end up in leadership positions and entrenching a really unhealthy environment for everyone. Including themselves - Duracell Bunnies are not always immune to burnout, so you can get a Duracell Bunny who is obviously engaging in dangerous and/or unhealthy coping mechanisms yelling at Sleepy Times who aren't because the Sleepy Times have had to firm about their boundaries from the beginning.
(In fact, sometimes people can end up in crisis because of burnout, and instead of learning anything, go right back to the level of effort that caused burnout and use their crisis as proof that they are actually worse off than the people who set boundaries and didn't end up in crisis, and that those people, therefore, just don't care enough...)
But yeah, TL;DR: Sometimes autistic/adhd people have more energy for certain activities than even neurotypicals, and these people can have a bad habit of pointing at autistic/adhd people with less energy for the activity and saying "well, if I can do it, that must mean every adhd/autistic person can" which leads to people refusing to provide accommodations, or shaming people who cannot show up in the same ways
#also please i am exhausted if you have a smart comment about the battery bunny wars please just keep it to yourself#i picked the first one that came to my head#so no fucking 'well actually i think of the duracell bunny as slow because in the energizer adverts-'#that's not the point and i'm too tired to deal with you just joking
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Itās 2024 and Margot Robbie wasnāt nominated for the Oscar of Best Actress for Barbie and Greta Gerwing got snubbed for the Best Director but Ryan Gosling got nominated for playing Ken ?! Looks like everyone has still not understood the message behind Barbieā¦
#I AM EXHAUSTED#everyone hates women#fuck the Oscars#Oscars 2024 are canceled#Barbie#barbie 2023#Barbie movie#margot robbie#greta gerwig#ryan gosling#oscars#oscars 2024
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