#I CANNOT BELIEVE THE D R A M A

[toodleroo]

blogging karamazov: book III

“Chapter V: The Confession of an Ardent Heart—‘Heels Up’”

[buttercup-barf]

this is a cry for help

drawing them pissed off and/or disgusted is fun from the standpoint of "they're babysitters not jesus christ their patience is bound to run out"

i will forever cherish that one artist on twitter that proposed the idea that their limbs could shape-shift individually (for puppet shows or whatever) because now girl can miserably fail at pancakes and have no excuse because it's not a separate object but her own damn hand

let him sulk

they're just fuCKING CUTE DUDE THEY CAN PULL ANYTHING OFF AND BE ADORABLE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

where there's one there's always the other

and some uglier scroobles for the end

[kookslastbutton]

Baby Maker ༓ kth (m)

✑ Summary: You're pissed at your husband for being late to your weekly baby-making sessions.

Pairing: husband!taehyung x fem!reader

AU/genre: pwp, fluff, smut, marriage au

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 2,473

Warnings: light fighting, hard dom!taehyung, slight brat sub!reader, make up s*x, rough s*x, manhandling, bl*wjob, teasing, b**b groping, degradation (taehyung calls reader a sl*t), impreg k*nk, f*replay, penetration, r*ding, d*ggy, d*rty talk, d*ck slapping, taehyung refers to himself as daddy, mention of aftercare, trouble taking off lingerie bc yeah it be a whole process sometimes.

A/N: seeing Taehyung on esquire...you cannot tell me he doesn't look good omg 🙈 anyway this is filthy sooo I'm going to rock myself to sleep now bc i work on the moring, pls enjoy 💞

"Sweetheart, I didn't mean to be late. I'm sorry."

Taehyung stands in front of you with pleading eyes. He tries not to drop his gaze below your neck, seeing that you're more than pissed at him for getting home nearly an hour later than planned. He feels bad about it, he really does. But he can also easily see his favorite fiery red lingerie peeking out of your silky robe, making him all the more eager to show you how he can make it up to you.

"Well that's too bad Taehyung because I'm not in the mood anymore." You tighten your arms across your chest and stand your ground. If your husband didn't look like sex on legs all the time this would be a lot easier nevertheless, he will not be getting his dick sucked tonight.

"Are you kidding?" He gives you a 'really' look before reaching for one of your wrists. "You're always in the mood for baby making. Been in the mood for months. Come on sweetheart, how many times do I need to tell you I'm sorry? Let me make it up to you."

"No." You swiftly pull away from him. "I'm showering and then going to bed." You head over to your dresser to grab a pair of pajamas to change into. Are you being petty? Maybe. But you and Taehyung have been trying for a baby over the past two weeks. So him being late tonight just feels like he isn't taking any of it seriously.

"Don't even think about trying to come in here," you spit, moving to close the door of the master bathroom. Taehyung gives a small sigh before stopping the door with his hands. Your eyes avert to the motion immediately—damn his fingers for being so long and sleek.

"Baby I know I shouldn't have been late, and I know you're horny but aren't we being the tiniest bit stubborn here?"

"What the hell did you say?" You can't believe your ears. "You think this is me just being stubborn and horny? No, this is me-, you pause, scrambling for words. "I'm punishing you!" You point at him accusingly.

"Punishing me by withholding sex? From being an hour late tonight? I get it baby, I do but is that what you really want? To take a shower, then go to sleep." He pushes his way through the door and walks up to you until he's towering over you. His warm blonde locks drape over his eyes— you know how soft they feel in your hands. "Or," his deep honeyed voice teases near your ear as he tugs on one of your robe's straps. "Do you want to take off this useless piece of material and I'll show you how sorry I am?" He sets his hands on your hips, tracing down the fabric of your robe. "I'll let you ride me," he husks.

You bite the inside of your cheek, desperately trying to keep yourself from throwing yourself at him. It's not every night that you're allowed to top with a husband as alpha as Taehyung in the bed. And the way his hands are moving so sensually up and down your sides is making you shudder with arousal.

"Fuck you. Fuck you to the moon and back Taehyung."

"Great, let's start that tonight." Taehyung takes it as a go and you pound on his back with your fists when you feel your whole body being slung over his shoulder. He plops you on the bed within seconds and crawls up to you in a straddling position—thighs on either side of your waist. "I swear to god __, our baby better not inherent this stubborn streak of yours." He starts untying the knot of your robe and prys the material open to slip down your shoulders.

"What baby?" You sit up a little to let him remove it. "The only baby you seem to be making is with Park Jimin. You were at his house all day. Or was it Jungkook? Did you have a threesome with them?"

"For fucksake, no I wasn't having a threesome with those idiots who can't even get their dicks out of their pants." He tosses the robe to the side, cock swelling at the sight of you underneath him in lacey red lingerie and black lace garters—this he did not see before. "And I'm not into Jimin, he's too into his porno films. Now enough whining. I said I was sorry."

"You were watching porn with Jimin?!" Your eyes go large as saucers. Apparently, that's all you heard. Taehyung lets out a throaty growl, more than fed up with your attitude tonight.

"No I wasn't! Stop it. I wasn't fucking or watching people fuck." He holds your wrists down on the mattress to keep you from moving about. "You get so goddamn needy. I didn't realize you could get this horny."

"I told you its not about—"

"Shut up and let me kiss you." Taehyung presses his mouth against yours, biting your lower lip like a sin. You squirm underneath his hold but end up moaning when he slips his tongue into the small crease between your lips.

"Taehyung," you let out a breathy gasp when you feel his fully hardened cock brush against your center. Not much else gets to come out after that as Taehyung continues to lick every corner of your mouth, toying with your tongue at the same time.

It's when he finally breaks from your lips to trace wet kisses along the curve of your neck that you can catch your breath again. His firm hold on your wrists also loosen, but you know exactly where they're moving next.

"Did you really expect me to believe you'd put on my favorite lingerie with these godforsaken garters only to not have your brains completely fucked tonight?" He squeezes your breasts and rolls his thumbs around your nipples, feeling them harden with the friction.

You choose to remain silent this time, slightest smirk on your face which no doubt irritates your husband to no end.

"Don't want to say anything anymore Mrs. Kim?" He fiddles with the front of your bra, specifically the tiny hook that's holding the cups together. "Nothing at all? Just gonna lay there and stare at me with those beautiful lusty eyes?"

"You know I was feeling really guilty earlier," Taehyung rasps, leaning back to throw his shirt over his head. "I was afraid you were actually mad at me and at first I think you were. But..." He reaches to unbuckle his belt. "Now you're just acting like a brat to tick me off."

You bite down a whimper when his cock bounces free, practically throbbing to be inside something. You've taken Taehyung many times with tears streaming down your face, each round reminding you of his massive size.

"Fuck," he groans as he takes himself in his palm. "If you want to be treated like a brat so much then it's your lucky day." He straddles your sides again, the head of his cock falling proudly in front of your lips. "Open," he demands, but you bite your lip; feigning innocence.

Your husband is not impressed, however. "Quit acting like you've never seen cock before," he barks. "You're the furthest thing from a virgin so open up."

Rude, you think before slowly sticking your tongue out until it touches the slit of his cock. You know it'll piss him off but you decide it's fun to keep swirling around the sensitive area, collecting the pre-cum dripping out.

"Shit, don't." Your husband groans and screws his eyes shut to keep himself from coming early.

You should take this as a warning but you're far too pleased of yourself so you continue teasing him, making sure a few purposeful moans slip out as you lick around his tan tip.

"Fuck I'm gonna blow my load in ten seconds if you don't stop. Baby, stop."

You ignore your husband's pleas and wrap your lips around the head of his length, sucking it with determination. As if to counter the filthy action you sparkle your eyes up into his dark ones. You make them as big as you can. Anytime now and he'll-

"I said stop you fucking slut!" The words are barked at you without warning. Taehyung takes his cock from you and slaps it across your cheek. A very sticky substance smears on your face. "Now, get my dick wet or nothing's going into that slutty little cunt."

You widen your mouth to take him deeper at his threat but it's too slow—or Taehyung's too impatient. Either way, his thick length shoves to the back of your throat and starts running in and out of your mouth with a vengeance. You choke at the intensity of each thrust, vision blurring due to the tears building.

"Is it too much sweetheart?' He provokes, beads of sweat line his forehead and a vein threatens to pop from his neck any second. "Too big for your pretty mouth to handle?"

You feel yourself clench as the heavy weight of his length glides faster on your tongue. The anticipation of his release is killing you and though you can't speak, right now, you want your husband to make you look like such a messy whore that his come fills your mouth and spills down your tits. Then you want him to flip you over, prop your ass up, and fuck you until burning hot sensation courses through your body.

While in thought, Taehyung takes the opportunity to slip himself out of your mouth. A string of spit can't help but follow with it.

"But—"

"It's plenty wet now," Taehyung smirks at your obvious distress. He moves to take your panties and garter off next. "Fuck," he swears in frustration. "How do you get this off dammit?" You help him wiggle yourself out of the contraption (which ends up taking a good five or six minutes).

As soon as the lace fabric is discarded, you find yourself quickly being lifted on his hardened member. Taehyung makes sure you're well-supported before roughly thrusting up into your wet cunt. Your breasts bounce to the rhythm he sets, tempting him to go faster.

"I promised I'd let you ride me didn't I?"

"Not—what I—had in mind," you pant. "Fuck, Taehyung you're always so fucking big—ah!" You grip his shoulders when his cock perfectly hits your g-spot.

"Good to see you've found your voice again baby. I was beginning to think you were going to give me the silent treatment this whole night."

"Shut—ah shit—yes, Taehyung, right there! Faster, fuck!" You moan, too caught up in the way his cock is making you feel to care about talking back.

"What a filthy mouth on you Mrs. Kim. No one taught you any manners?" He darts his tongue out to gently graze across a nipple. At the action, you start moving with his thrusts; meeting them in sync.

"So good Taehyung." Your eyes flutter shut. "If this doesn't get me pregnant then—"

You squeal when you're suddenly thrown off his cock and turned on your stomach. With your ass positioned nice and high in the air, your husband can see every trace of your arousal.

"Don't worry about that sweetheart." His cock pushes back into your pussy, teeth nipping at your ear ever so gently but enough to send a shiver down your spine. "Daddy's definitely gonna make you a mommy tonight."

Taehyung caves over you to fully cover your back before picking up the same pace as before. "You want my cum baby?" He grunts. "Want me to fill you up and make you round with my child?"

"Yes-yes." You grip the sheets underneath you for leverage. "Want you to put a baby in me Taehyung."

"Fuck—say that again." He growls and continues snapping his hips. The sound of skin slapping on skin is so lewd but you and Taehyung can't be bothered by the noise when you're breathing so heavily in each other's ear.

"I want you to put a baby in me Tae."

"Louder."

"I want—," you struggle to repeat the words when you feel your walls tighten around his length. Your stomach churns too and the way his cock fucks in you gets seemingly harder to take.

"Close baby?"

"Mm." You barely respond, too focused on getting to your high.

"And to think you were simply going to shower and sleep tonight." He circles back to your earlier argument with the cockiest smirk on his face but it's wiped off as quick as it came when you start grinding your hips to meet his thrusts.

"That's it," Taehyung clenches his teeth. "Get yourself off—holy fuck you feel so goddamn tight around me."

"I'm—I'm coming!" Once the cord snaps in you, your eyes roll to the back of your head. Ropes of your cum drip over your husband's length, covering it completely, and down part of your inner thigh. Taehyung's cock twitches in response and his breaths turn into aggressive pants as he starts chasing after his own release.

"Shit baby, shit! I'm so fucking close. Gonna breed this pussy, tell me you want it one more time baby."

"Mm, yes, want it so bad," you let out a strained moan. "Come in me—ah daddy!" His length reaches a little further this time, making you yelp.

"Shit, you okay baby?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Keep moving. It just surprised me."

"If I go too hard, tell me okay?" You respond with the loudest 'mhm' you can.

After a few more broken groans and profanities your husband finally finishes with his cum painting your walls less than thirty seconds later.

A long sigh of relief leaves both your lips when you roll over on your backs—sweaty, sore, and satisfied.

"Wasn't expecting you to call me daddy in bed." Taehyung lazily hovers near your body and presses a kiss to your lips. You allow his tongue to slip in for a minute before shoving him off.

"Don't get used to it, mister. And don't ever slap me with your dick again. I'm all sticky."

"I'm sorry, do you want me to draw you a bath?"

"You best believe I do."

"Yes ma'am." Taehyung goes to get up but he falls back down. "Can you give me like ten minutes first? We went a little hard tonight, I can't really feel my dick."

"You sure about that?" You reach over to gently grip his length.

"Shit—hurts baby."

"Sorry." You grin, not sorry at all. "I'm sure it'll be fine in the morning."

Taehyung looks at you with a twinkle in his eyes. "Are you kidding? It'll be fine by the time I get you in the bath."

A/n: ...goodnight 😇

Masterlist

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[servingrobin]

Luffy NSFW alphabet

Ahhh so I really enjoyed writing this one and I think my Luffy love is getting steamier??? Who knows maybe I’m converting to a Luffy gal

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Man is snoring before his head hits the pillow, however as time goes on if you let him know you’d like some aftercare he will make sure to clean you up, get you some water and give you a cuddle (read: octopus around you)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Luffy likes his whole body, it does awesome things and he’s never been plagued by much body insecurity

On you it’s either your breasts or your stomach - he adores sleeping on you with his head nestled into your tummy, squeezing your tits like a fidget toy

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

We all know Luffy is dirty! He will cum anywhere, loves to paint you in cum and get you absolutely filthy with it (and one time got you rubbing it all over your body for him)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

None - Luffy has no shame and by default no dirty secrets

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very - he’s got a lot to do becoming the pirate king - but makes up for lack of experience with pure enthusiasm

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Butter churner, he likes bending you and contorting you into different positions, finding the ones that make you moan the loudest

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Come on now. Goofiest man alive, and your sweet little giggles go straight to his cock in the moment

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Much like Zoro, it’s a jungle down there.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Super romantic but in the weirdest ways? Winds his stretched hand around your body to caress your cheek and stroke your hair, whispers the most gentle pet names while slamming into you with intense speed.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Whenever it takes his fancy, Luffy strongly believes it’s very normal and fully expects you have moments you do the same - no shame or expectations - though he obviously loves when it matches up with alone time with you

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Cockwarming - Luffy wants nothing more than you sat on his cock 24/7, lazily swirling your hips every so often and letting him thrust to his hearts content

And on that vein: free use - Luffy would love if you consented to being bent over and filled anytime he wanted, no matter the place or time

Cum - Luffy thinks a lot about painting you in cum, including in your underwear before you all head out somewhere

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Likes privacy so he can take his time, and being comfortable is a must - so the bedroom is the usual favourite. Not opposed to the odd change of scenery though

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When you lick or suck on lollipops/icicles etc, watching the syrupy liquid running down your chin, droplets on your cleavage, Luffy just wants to lick you clean

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

BDSM or pain - he cannot hurt you, will not even try spanking or hair pulling, it’s just not who he is

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Man loves to eat, we know this. Will feast on you like he’s lost in the desert and your pussy is an oasis.

But also loves to rut into your mouth like he’s in heat, joyfully bruising the back of your throat and smearing the tears he’s created to leave you a glistening mess

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast but sensual, all about the mutual pleasure

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Necessary with the crews daily life but Luffy wants time to really wear himself out when possible

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Adores experimenting as long as it’s fun and safe, will try most things you suggest and very eager to try anything new he hears about on your travels

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Man cums quickly but will go for ROUNDS - you will be tapping out before he does

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not against them at all but Luffy very proudly considers himself the best toy there is with his ability, so why bother?

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Luffy is not a tease, would much rather get straight to pleasure and is a pushover when he hears you begging

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

You’ve heard him fighting, fucking is no different. He is loud and joyful and the crew have all invested in earplugs

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Really wants to bring food into the bedroom - lick whipped cream off your tits, cover you in chocolate sauce, eat a trail of strawberries from your mouth to pussy lips (if only he could get the damn stuff past Sanji)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Longgggg, average girth but a monster length, bright pink with purple veins

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Luffy wants you all the time and will usually make time to have his way

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

See aftercare - out like a light very quickly (as long as his balls are empty, or you’ll go until he’s satisfied

[slickchickchocolatier]

H I S M A R K : H E E D A M

WARNINGS: FLUFF, SMUT (UNPROTECTED), ORAL (MALE REC.), REFERENCE TO NONCON SMUT, MENTIONS OF FORCED BREEDING, SEX SLAVERY (HISTORICAL), DUBCON, MYTHOLOGY, ANCIENT HISTORY, SYMBOLISM, MARKINGS, YANDERE LOVE, OBSESSION, POSSESSIVE, FANTASY, MENTIONS OF KIDNAPPING, PARANOIA, STOCKHOLM SYNDROME, FORCED LOVE, ISOLATION, AND CURSING. NOT PROOREAD (YET).

THIS TAKES PLACE SHORTLY AFTER ‘CHILD OF THE SEA’ DRABBLE. ALL PART IF THE MERMAIDS TALE SERIES ON MASTERLIST.

This Drabble had me feeling something that is surreal I swear. Probably my favorite Drabble yet.

THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL.

For days, weeks, and months, you’ve questioned your sanity. It was the same routine; waking up in an unknown territory, wondering if you’ll ever get to experience freedom again. You’ve tried to calm yourself, but a factor prohibits you from gaining rest. It has been so long since you were able to roam the streets on your own, to visit the bakery that you loved so much, and to sip coffee while viewing the window of your high-rise apartment. It wasn’t that you couldn’t do the things you enjoyed in life, you just had to enjoy it…with him.

Over a year, this man had broken you down, restricted you of using your own senses, and prohibited in exercising your own way of thinking. No. Everything was about him. He made it that way to reflect his own spirit, since for him, everything was about you. You were all he sees, eats, hear, and breathes. It caused his insanity in which formed that insatiable love for you. He wanted you to rely on him, to think of only him, and to love him the way he does you. It’s…sickening. The worst part…was that you were actually starting to succumb to your weak heart.

The other day he made a great effort to impregnate you…the image plagues your mind, no matter what you’re looking at. You’ve tried to erase it completely, yet the view of his exposed throat, his thick neck in full display as he shoves and rests his length deep inside your womb, pumping out each string of release. His hands gripped your hips, slowly sliding up to your waist while he rests in between your legs, and his head remained flung back. His poignant Adams Apple bobs up and down delicately as he restlessly murmurs…’Uh-Uh-huh.”

He tells you that you should be grateful. For the rumors of his ancestors and their harsh breeding methods with Sirens were merely just to produce sons. At least with him, he did it out of love and passion. He tells you of how the sirens would eventually weakened to the desires of an Adams touch, and eventually grew to love their captors…which he predicted would become the end result for you.

‘It’s only a matter of time’ he says.

If only what he said wouldn’t hold any truth, yet as each passing day rotates in and out, you’re slowly coming to realize that he spoke the truth. It may not be out of your own willingness to return that love, but he didn’t care. All that mattered to him was the end goal, despite it being a result of Stockholm Syndrome. Regardless of his abusive method in claiming you, that love he displayed…it was getting to you.

‘It’s only a matter of time, baby. You will love me…you will, Siren.’

Sirens…a creature only read in mythology books, or poems and mentioning’s by philosophers. Who could ever believe that there was more truth to their existence?

A Siren cannot feel the physical touch, sensation, or feeling of anything. Not even pain at a high scale. Should anyone cut off your limb, or carve out an eye, you wouldn’t feel it. You wouldn’t scream. You wouldn’t even shed a single tear. No matter how many injuries your body would display, you’ll never feel the blister of the injury….unless it was done by an Adam.

The only person that can make you feel things. He knew that…he knew that too well. From the moment he sensed your expression and witnessed it at the party, he knew that something was amiss. He could feel it.

The Clan of Adam is what they are called, singularly referred to as ‘Adam’s’ named after the first man. The bloodline stemmed from the sons sired by Alexander the Great, that much you both knew. At least up until the moment he found the memento remnants of his late grandfather…who met a tortuous end by his grandsons hand.

“Huh…look what I found baby.” He holds the large book in both hands. It was ancient, laced by a gold chained binding, with thin wooden slats, polished to perfection with the inscription carved in the finest font. Elegant and edged with Hellenic images, charts, and astronomical symbols, you could tell that the contents contained knowledge that was unreal…stuff people read out of a fairy tale.

He pulls you back by tenderly holding your waist, sitting you on his lap as he sets the book before you. Resting it on your thighs, he passionately roams his palms up and down your ribcage, taking deep inhales as he whiffs in your scent, burying his nose at the back of your neck. “Mmm, fuck I love you.”

Your eyes begin to form tears…again. Yet each time you calmly sobbed, they became less and less watery. The feeling of touch, while initially had disgusted you, has now become the very thing you embraced. It was something you craved…and only he could give it to you.

“Read it baby.” He sighs out as he takes in another whiff. His hands lower their grip to your hips; his thumbs pressing in right above your derrière, beside your tailbone.

You arch your back as you winced your eyes. Your mind kept telling you to be strong and resist…but your heart told you the opposite. He pulls you in, smoothing your rear to grind and settle right on his bulge. “You’re sooooooo perfect…perfect for me.” He drags a deep tone as he flings his head back, lightly bucking his hips upwards. The sensation formed a familiar knot, a tightness that expanded until it snaps, releasing the flow of intense orgasm and pleasure. “P-please…please don’t—“

You gently spoke your words, moaning them out as you plead. You wanted it and didn’t want it. He reached up and around, turning your head to the side to face him, eloping you in a beautifully tender kiss. He grinds, and you move. He bucks, and you press in. Your bodies became a perfectly tuned rhythm of pleasure…and love.

“H-Heeseung…” you moan in between the small pecks. He lightly groans into your mouth, admitting a long and harsh lick up from your bottom lip to the top. “Aw fuck…yeah baby? You like that?” He doesn’t give you room to answer before re-sealing your mouth into a rather messier kiss. The twisting and twirling of tongue and the stroking of canines has completely melted you, and he could feel it on his crotch.

His hands migrate up and around, unionizing on your tummy. They slowly mesh downward and apply pressure as they rub on the flat canvas above your clit. It didn’t take long for him to find his way under your dress, his hands were so gifted in knowing the in and outs of feminine-styled seams. He hooks your panties and shove them to the side, and God..the way he could move his hands alone was enough to get you heated and moist. So wet.

Not once did he release your mouth. The flaring of your nostrils indicates the struggle for breath, yet the latching proved that it was all worth the struggle. Your lips quiver as your thighs shake; his fingers gently rubbing small circles right at the tip, surfacing a toil of piercing desire that raged within you like the fires of Hell. You moan some more in his mouth, hating how you were loving the way he explored inside you. That damn tongue of his…he was so experienced, being a former playboy, but now a committed husband who only had eyes, a heart, and soul, just for you.

“Oh Heeseung…mmmm! Oh please-“

“Fuck yeah baby. Never felt someone as good as you.”

His heart pelted against his chest, you could feel it underneath in between your shoulder blades as yours felt as if it would explode from within. He played around with your womanhood until he firmly gripped your waist, thumbs pressing against your back as his fingers dig into your torso. He lifts you just a tad, before slamming you down against his clothed groin. He continues to buck up while bouncing you in a momentum that was out of this world. You gasped out a series of yelps, all in sync with his motions. “Pl-please!!! Please..!”

“Please what? WHAT?” He whispers as he buries his nose and lips into your ear. “Fucking tell me what you want. Let me hear it.”

You reach up and gently palm the back of his neck, struggling to move smoothly as the quaking aches of pleasure and desire took over your body. “Ugh…please…please give it to me…”

You can’t believe you just said that…

He smirks. “Oh yeah baby…don’t worry, I’m going to.” He reaches beneath you to unzip his trousers when a sudden knock causes you both to pause.

His growl told you of anger and frustration as he bites down and grits a groan. His hands emerge up and grip your waist, slightly shifting you forward.

You whine out, begging for him to keep going. You cup his chin as you continued to melt against his chest, grabbing onto his free hand and resting it on your pelvis. “Please…please…Heeseung.”

What he wouldn’t give to satisfy you right now. Times like this, he truly sympathizes for you, and wanted nothing more than to give you everything you asked for. He gently takes your hand in his, causing you ti release his chin as he places a kiss on your forehead. “Shhh…I know baby. I know.”

He would have dismissed the person outside the door, instead, he mentally kicks himself in the ass. He was the one who summoned the curator to help translate the book after all.

“Hello, Mr. Lee. My name is Johnathan, I am the curator from the national library, we spoke on the phone. You stated you needed some assistance in translating some family artifacts?”

The young man was polite and well mannered, not at all losing composure, even after seeing you sitting on your husband’s lap, legs widespread. At least Heeseung reinstated the hem of your dress, layering it over the exposed parts. Maybe Johnathan was not at all familiar with the image of sexual desire, but it would otherwise seem quite obvious.

“I am sorry I’m late.” He states as he sets his briefcase on his lap, flipping the gold latches up.

“Not as sorry as I am right now…” Heeseung mutters against your ear, wincing as you admitted small and subtle waving motions at the hip, grinding against his groin. The pulse of desire hasn’t worn off inside you.

“What was that Sir?” Johnathan peeks up with a look of curiosity.

“N-nothing. What can you tell us about this?” Heeseung firmly wraps an arm around your waist as he leans forward, taking the book from your hand and passing it over. You whined as your body shifts forward from the leaned in motion. “Don’t worry…i’m never going to let you fall baby.” He whispers into your ear after taking notice of your hands gripping his thigh, halting the sliding of your rear on his lap. Meanwhile the curator remained completely oblivious as he closely admires the book. “Ah, the literature contains the ancient tongue that the Greeks used early on. It is most notably communicated by philosophers. Perhaps a well known philosopher drafted this.”

Johnathan examines each lettering and symbol, placing a magnifying device to study the engravings.

“Clan of Adam…interesting, I haven’t heard of them. Has your grandfather ever mentioned this clan to you before?” He speaks without lifting his head, keeping his eyes glued to the wooden frame.

“Maybe a couple times in reference to this heirloom.” Heeseung calmly fibs. If there was one thing you both agreed on, it was to keep your ancestries, and the knowledge of, a secret. Excluding the current lesson that was now being taught of course.

“Interesting. It says here that the clan were all male descendants of the first sons…sons of—“

“Alexander.” Heeseung calmly finishes as he pinches his grip, tightening his hold on your waist the moment he spoke out the name.

“Yes that’s correct. Alexander the Great, king of Macedonia.”

The curator continues to look over the slats, rotating the book as he studied the diagram of constellations and Greek symbols. “It says that the first sons of Alexander were hidden away in a monastery, many miles away from their kingdom. They were known as the first of the clan…says here they displayed inhuman abilities.”

Johnathan chuckles. “I see, this seems to be a book that contains speculation of fiction and fantasy. It talks about them battling mermaids—ah, sirens, as they are commonly referred in this book.”

Heeseung’s member twitches at the historical mentioning of your ancestors. You felt the snake-like feature of his size slithering and flickering under your thigh, causing you to gasp.

“This particular page goes into detail about the clans genealogy traits…saying that it derived from their grandfather.”

“Grandfather?” Heeseung raises a brow as he keeps his eye on the curator, yet shifts his mouth to place a kiss against your cheek upon hearing a small whine escape your lips.

“Yes sir…it says here that the late King of Macedonia and his wife, Olympias, was bedded by Zeus. This was recorded in private to a monk residing in the kingdom, and journaled after the king passed. Alexander took over the throne and was exposed to the secret of his origin, by his mother.”

The curator chuckles in disbelief. “Well that would explain why the clan could take down mermaids.” He laughs as he jests, little does he know that everything he had just relayed was whole-heartedly true.

Your eyes widen as he unveiled the truth behind the clans whereabouts. Descendants of Zeus? No wonder they held such tremendous power and combative abilities. They were commonly known as Spartans of the Sea.

Heeseung, being a former SWAT captain, eluded those traits. You’ve witnessed his training sessions he maintained simply for fun. The way he moved, the way he maneuvered in water, and his stamina…it was Godly.

Zeus…Zeus was the true father of Alexander…

“And the sirens were all daughters of —“

“Poseidon…” you calmly interject. Heeseung faintly smirks as he admires your side profile. “Yes ma’am, that’s correct. Have you both read this book?” The curator asks earnestly, subtly surprised by your perfect translation and knowledge of what was inscribed in the book.

“We looked it over prior to your arrival.” Heeseung states.

“Wow…so you both can read Ancient Greek?”

You both stayed silent as Johnathan’s innocent smile slowly fades. A moment of awkwardness fills the room. “Well…anyhow…there was a war between humanity and the sirens, and the godly descendants produced by Zeus engaged, becoming a formidable opponent to the sirens. In fact, it says here that the clan nearly wiped out the entire ocean of them, causing them to go nearly extinct.”

Heeseung taps against your thigh, vaguely whispering for you to stand just for a moment as he thanks the curator for his time.

“I’m sorry to tell you this book hardly exposes factual knowledge regarding your family, however, you’ll be pleased to know that it is a genuine artifact that is priceless. Should you ever care to get an appraisal, please do not hesitate to call us.”

“Without hesitation. Thanks.” Heeseung places the book to the side as he sees the young man out.

You sat by the window.

Descendants of Zeus…and Poseidon…you, and Heeseung.

He cups your cheek, gently forcing you to face him. “That pretty head of yours thinking about the history lesson we just got?” He smirks as he kneels down before you, reaching up as he strokes your hair. “All that talk about Gods and our lineage got me thinking baby…”

You gave an inquiring expression. “About what?” You calmly issue as he pulls you in for a kiss, never divulging an answer. “You’ll see.”

…………….

“Welcome to Brewery’s Coffee, what can I get for you?”

“Tall chocolate cream latte, and a venti Americano.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes.”

“What’s the name for the order?”

“Heeseung.”

The barista labels the cups. Handing the receipt, she admires the devastatingly handsome stranger as he walks to a table. Something catches her eye as she ogles his neckline. A small mark, looked to be of a tattoo, printed nicely and centered on the back of his neck. It was symbolic in nature, though she had absolutely no idea of what it entailed. “Do you see that?” She whispers to a fellow co-worker. They both admire the mark, when the latter recognized the main structure of the symbol.

“Oh! That’s the symbol for Pisces. The symbol represents commitment, and togetherness for eternity. I’m a Pisces myself, but I don’t know what that small symbol to the right of it is supposed to be.”

Heeseung takes a seat across from you, admiring how you sat patiently while he ordered the drinks. Not like you didn’t really have a choice, although now it seems he did manage to tame the shrew. You found yourself accepting the concept of belonging to him, especially after reading the history of his lineage.

Taking your hand in his, he rubs the back of your palm with his thumb. “You didn’t feel a thing, did you?”

You shook your head. “Me neither.”

Of course he wouldn’t. He’s too damn strong, some needle punctures would hardly faze him. You reach up and delicately smooth the tips over the back of your neck, yet couldn’t even feel your own phalanges as you attempted to search for it. He chuckles before reaching across the table. “Here.”

He takes your fingers and places it on a certain spot behind your neck. “Right there baby.”

You still couldn’t feel anything, other than the brush of his knuckles as he guides you to the matching mark. The sign of Pisces, with the respective symbols of the Gods that fathered both your ancestries. His, with Zeus, and yours with Poseidon.

Combined and side by side, it would form the Union of love…the love that he inherited for you…the love that you were forced to adapt to.

It was entirely his idea, of course. You recalled how he vividly told you of the theory in Zeus transforming Aphrodite and Eros into fish, paired together so that they may escape from the clutches of Typhon, the monstrous being. You laid on your stomach as the artist took his time to delicately outline the unique features of the custom symbolic nature of love and commitment.

After coffee, he brings you back home where he had every sense of focus to finish what was started earlier.

“Come here.” He gently calls to you as he flips two fingers up and flickers them, signaling for you to respond to his calling. His voice was tamed and gentle. So very calm and sensual.

You kneel before him as he took his seat, holding onto your hand. You lean forward in between his manspreading legs, guided by the subtle grip of your chin. He lures you directly to his bulge. “My woman…my life…my everything.”

You knew what he wanted, and you would never admit it aloud, but you wanted it too. The pains of yearning never left, it remained lodged deep inside your womb even after the curator left.

You unzip his trousers. It didn’t take long for him to whip out his cock, waving it in front of your face as if he was teasing you with it. Like quenching thirst, you caught the very tip of it with your parted lips, immediately swallowing as many inches as possible—and there were many. The man was gifted, such was expected as the descendant of a mighty God.

He groans out, holding the base of his shaft for you, while encouraging you to keep going. He collects your strands, and grips it in unison. Holding up your poneytail, there, in full view was the beautiful tattoo…his other half. Resting in the same spot as his, it nearly glows. He watches and maintains sight of it as you continue to bob for his girth.

“Thatta girl…keep going darling…get it while you can, I’m about to conquer you.”

You swipe your head up and down, motioning it with a sensual passion that could only be found in a love like this. One that was filled with so many contradictions, yet hold so much history. And with that history, came progression and transcendence. It was both frustrating and peaceful. Forceful, and yet consensual. It was…it was…

“Fuck! Get over here.”

“H-Heeseung!” You gasped outright as he used his god-like strength and lifts you up. He stands tall and straight, leaving you suspended in air against his chest as he grips your thighs, forcing you to straddle his groin. You hug his neck, embracing it against your breasts as you remain higher up while he cradles your rear, stabilizing his hold. Slowly…slowly, the moment you breached for all day, he finally inserts his stiffed muscle in between your slit. “Oh my God..!” You breathe out as he breaks you, inch by inch. The feeling was so different from the other day. This was different. The painful yearning that pounded your womb from within, sending tingles up your spine, and released a rushing flow of blood through your veins. All you could think about was being touched, being fucked, and being kissed over and over again, and he was the only one who could give it. The key to your release.

“Ah! P-please! Oh god please don’t stop!”

The very second he sat you against the hilt of his pelvic floor, he began thrusting at a phenomenal pace. God, was he perfect. He was so good, you just couldn’t contain yourself as it slipped…

“B-babe! Baby please!”

He pauses for just a second as he smirks against your neck. Did he just hear you call him ‘baby’?

He continues to grin as he slowly pumps up into you.

Realizing just what you had done, you found it useless to make excuses or to continue to fight it. Finally, after all that he’s done to trap and torment you mentally, he finally had you…all of you. You wave the white flag and surrendered. If it wasn’t in the endearing pet name that you sputtered out, it was in the tightening of your embrace as you pulled him close, thighs shaking and your derrière jiggling from the quivering jolts of pleasure…so good, it hurt like Hell.

“Say it again.” He snarls against your skin as he licks the underside of your chin. You shook your head, wincing your eyes as you refused initially, but he had his ways to make you give in.

One, two, three…no, four. Five! God…maybe it was twenty times, or more, he held you firmly and smacks his cock inside. It was brutally pleasing as he thrusts upwards, splattering the juices of his labor—and yours, everywhere. The offensive sound of his cock squeezing, squelching, and sliding in and out as his balls smack against your skin while he went in fast and hard, causing you to scream. Your mind blows away as you absorb his rhythm. “Ah! Fuck! Baby!”

There, he got what he wanted, and did he ever love it. He could hear you call him that, over and over again. And he did.

The undercarriage of your buttocks were painted with white, thick splatters of creamy and sticky fluids. The constant and solid tempo of his thrusts acted as a beater, stirring the semi-clear residue and turning it into a thicker consistency. A product of the love you both shared.

You scream out his name, gasping for air as the soft spot inside you releases, all thanks to the constant punching of his tip, and the pounding of his thick and lengthy cock. You dig your nails into his shoulders, the overstimulation makes you beg for him to tone it down but he doesn’t.

“TAKE IT!!!” He yells out against your skin as he holds and squeezes your cheeks together, creating a bubbling image of skin and muscle as your derrière becomes abused by the harsh grip.

Shooting everything he’s got inside, he holds you steady, burying deep. Pelvis to pelvis, hilt to hilt, you feel the pressure of his grip holding you down against his groin. A few minutes of his cock pulsating, pumping, and pushing, he finally loosens his grip. You slide down, legs still grasping his waist as he embraces your waistline, tumbling back. Bringing you down with him, he lays next to you on the silky bedding.

You both lay, admiring each others glistening skin. The beads of sweat dripping down your foreheads, the heat exhausting from your breaths, and the panting and heaving of your chests.

He pushes the wet strands away from your brow, leaning in and kissing you so passionately, he would have done his deity ancestor proud.

“…I love you.” You mutter out, nearly shamelessly and defeatedly.

He smirks as he gulps down a subtle swallow, already knowing, just waiting for you to say it. “I know.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact, instead, you look away as he caresses your cheek, not minding the shyness you were displaying. “I could never be anything in life without you…daughter of the seven seas…you got me all to yourself. I live only for you.”

And with that, concluded this night, but birthed many more. This was only the beginning, what new life exists for you both? Now that you have each other…

And so the war between the Adams and Sirens came to an end, resulting in generations that mirrored the forbidden love between the two descendants. Mixing the bloodlines of Poseidon and Zeus, the clan formatted the ultimate beings, part God and part mortal. Despite the many rumors of the hostility the two parties initially held against each other, let it be known that no matter the history…no matter the bloodshed…by the prime example of sea maidens and sons of Alexander the Great, love conquers all.

@hoonieshoney and @sweeheehees 😏 they not cry or explode. Because I certainly almost did both when imagining heedam….BRO JUST TOPPED THE LIST.

[20-th-centurygirl]

nsfw alphabet

charles leclerc x reader

a/n: you all loved my levi one so i thought i'd do one for charles 🤭 i have also never written for an f1 driver so pls be nice ☹️

navigation masterlist

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

king of aftercare idc ! literally will not rest until he's pampered you and you're asleep. he could be falling asleep but would still make sure he's helped you shower, cleaned up and got you something to eat :(

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Charles is the boob man ! always has to be touching them in some way, falls asleep either lying on them or holding them idc

on him it's his arms and hands ! he knows how much you love them so he's always flexing them or showing off the veins on purpose bc he's annoying like that. he loves it when he catches you just staring at his hands or absentmindedly playing with his fingers.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

loves finishing on your boobs or in you 🤭

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

secretly really wants to catch you touching yourself, preferably in one of his t shirts

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he knows what he's doing but he's also not super experienced

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary or cowgirl. he's a simple man. if he can see your face when he's fucking you he's happy

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

depends on his mood. if he's stressed from a race he's super serious but if it was just super lazy soft sex he'd be all giggly bc he can't believe your his and you make him super giddy

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

honestly i think he'd have very little to no hair

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

so so romantic it's ridiculous. i'm talking holding your hand, kissing all over you, telling him he loves you and that you're beautiful every 5 seconds

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

very rarely gets himself off when you're both at home bc you're almost always ready to help him. if he's away he'll facetime you or go through the photos he has of you 🤭

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

charles seems quite vanilla. i think he'd be into letting you take control though

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

always at your own house bc he knows it's private but he wouldn't say no to car sex 🤭

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

literally anything. you could just smile at him and he needs you straight away

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything super rough bc there's no way he's gonna hurt his girl

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

charles leclerc created the term munch idc. he literally cannot get enough of being between your thighs and it just sends him crazy knowing he can turn you into a complete mess with just his tongue

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

normally just so so soft and loving. Charles always makes sure to take his time so you know just how much he appreciates and loves you

but if he's had a bad race he's so rough and will just casually manhandle you. you always wake up the next morning covered in hickies and bruises

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves a quickie before and after a race 🤭

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he's not a big risk taker bc he knows his career could be ruined and he also doesn't want to embarass you

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i think he'd have 1 or 2 rounds a few times in the day instead of loads of rounds in one day

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

in the start of your relationship he was completely against them but after a few months he changed his mind bc he knows how long you're actually apart and he needs to make sure his girls always getting the best treatment 🤭

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

always cracks super early when he's teasing you bc he ends up feeling bad ☹️

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

isn't dead silent but he also doesn't make loads of noise so he can focus on the noises you're making

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

is obsessed with marking you up ! loves leaving hickies on you and he goes crazy when you give him some

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

massive.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

soo high he literally can't ever get enough of you

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

this man loves a nap so once he knows you're okay and comfortable he's snoozing straight away

[thedivineart]

PICK A CARD: FACTS AND SECRETS OF YOUR GREATEST LOVE.

⠀⠀⠀꒰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⌷ .⠀⠀d i s c l a i m e r⠀⠀✿𝆬

[ 𝒜𝓇𝓉 ✧ ] any events and other things in your life are cannot be accurately predict by me and the tarot cards, do take a note that we are 'still' the creator of our 'future'- what you 'do' now will be the outcome of your future life and this could be either a good or bad, if your doing good and you are good to others expect the bright future ahead but in reverse you might expect the worst.

[ ℰ𝓂𝒾𝓈 ✧ ] to pick a pile, firstly take a good deep breath, second focus on every pile in the photo provided below { pile one, pile two, pile three }, and lastly scroll more down to reveal your reading. if you cannot still pick up any of the pile, do remember the sequence of what is written in the first sentence.

ꕀ ׅ࣪ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ 𝓅𝒾𝒸𝓀 𝒶 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝒹 ; facts and secrets of your ᵍʳᵉᵃᵗᵉˢᵗ ˡᵒᵛᵉ

[ 𝒜𝓇𝓉ℯ𝓂𝒾𝓈 ✧ ] grammatical errors ahead, if you're a perfectionist then leave this pac. I do write with so many flaws and I know it's not perfect since my first language isn't english.

-` 𝑇𝐻𝐸𝐷𝐼𝑉𝐼𝑁𝐸𝐴𝑅𝑇 ´- ✰︵ — m a s t e r l i s t ´-

: ･. ﾟ ✧. : ･. ☽˚｡ ･ﾟ ✧: ･. :.

PILE ONE

seems that they likes socialising, sort of life of the party individual and may possibly that they got alot of friends since they value friendships however there's something happened between them and a friend ( probably group of friends ) which lead your person to feel victimize and got anxiety. either this called friend is hating/sabotaging them or bullying them, idk but this one 'friend' and your person isn't in good terms, definitely fear this 'friend' too. hmm, I feel that there's something fishing involve here, I think your person and this 'friend' have something before, like they tried to be in relationship before but actually failed to become stable. this person of yours may/already feel heartbreak and betrayal in their timeframe, even though they got friends they still feel need someone to fill their loneliness. on the other side, they literally got it all and might come from wealthy or wealthy by themselves (if they are a 'man'), high status in life and often in leadership position like in company being it's c.e.o or the boss where they work, actually they got multiple options and choices about their life, like they can get what they like unlike the others. however they tends to daydream and imagine often. also likes luxurious things or materialistic individual they are, they care about the money alot and good at handling it, they literally hate it when someone is late when there's a sched and call time when it be happen, but they are slow to be anger. when you see this person physically and in reality, you'll be having the thought of "they looks tough and cold individual" when it quite faraway from it, they know how to hide their innocence and vulnerability inside by hiding it on their appearance. one thing that keeps me interested with this individual, they willing to give it all if they love someone that's why often they end up feels of being disappointed and just hurting themselves but they know how to heal themselves too. knife and skull symbol might be prominent for this person maybe a tattoo or they like those symbols.

- dm me for personal readings

PILE TWO

tw: die, kill

soulmates connection here.there's two scenario here, first -they know within themselves that they are defensive being but of course they don't wouldn't tell it, if they found themselves in that situation they tends to walk away and leave that situation or where they are now, they want to leave and scape to that place but they don't know how, all they can do now is to be patient most of the time. and might be conservative in everything. they also know how to manifest specially to their desires, they believe that action and willingness with manifestation will lead you to a prosperous and secure life, at some point they prefer to work alone like being self employed. might be ailurophiles, they love cats. seems that they are more confident, if they achieve something or if someone is supporting them. they like to offer for people alot whether it's time, money or support from them. negative sides might be forgetful and hot tempered, idk if they are famous since they have alot of supporters maybe quite well known where field or place they are. they do believe success comes from hard work and overcoming obstacles, love how optimistic they are. finally a secret was channeled here, they may don't seem one as physically but they are very sensual individual who knows how to hide it. they do care about the animals specially if this is a cat and the humanity. you can easily may know their true identity by how they act in front of you. for some point, some people here may already know this person or will gonna know this individual this year. dang bruh, I'm shock to this message but this person having thoughts of wanting to die, they want to commit this sin or their anxiety is getting worst day after day, they want to tell it to someone but this person thinks that ' will they understand them even though they will tell it to someone'. s/he got the reason for it, the story behind of why they want to do it but might be afraid that no one will understand them. just a reminder that be observant to people who surround you, look how they behave and think before you outburst words coming from your mouth cause we don't know who suffer, this type of mental illness can kill, no kidding around.

- dm me for personal readings

PILE THREE

this person got powerful aura than the rest of the piles and somewhat seems that this pile is the combination of 1 and 2. they come from a wealthy/stable family/high status or inheritance from old people around their family, that's the reason why they don't suffer much when in comes to finances, this money may came from a masculine energy more likely the father or their grandpa. mostly who pick this pile, your person is more mature in appearance or by mentally or by age. might be working on authority level like the boss or in government and law or higher positions like manager, being team leader etc. for some people who pick this pile, I see that they still studying like maybe in higher grade than yours or simply this person loves to learn and very determine as well dedicated to what they are studying. however they may have fear that someone is more better than them, or they experience anxiety or deep unhappiness which causes to got some sleep paralysis/negativity. on the other hand, I'm seeing that they will overcome this one his/her obstacles. they tends to act hasty or bad mouthing and expressing how bitter they are in life maybe because of what they just experience, or they been/will face betrayal in life. they got big social cycle, alot of people know them and they know alot of people too, possibly that they are famous in their surrounding, however your person really knows who are the true and enemy to them or your person may feels that every people around them are not true and just want them for the money and fame specially if those individuals are his/her friends. they been wishing for healing from what people did to them for a very long period of time, they got solution and want to fly away to rest and ease this pain within themselves. they want some joy in their life and was eager for seeking it. as a addition, I see here that this person got some eagle eye or great observation, like they see it but other people wouldn't. everyone seems to respect this person and they know it, they know they are someone who should be respected too ( seems overbearing for me ). when they talk they are too honest to their words and doesn't care if the someone may feel hurt from it or spilling tea is one of their habit/mannerism. one more thing, they think people around them are ugly ( lol, that's bad ) like they based on physical appearance but of course they will keep it by themselves however if you focus on their eyes you can see the judging looking.

- dm me for personal readings

[ 🤎. ] Hello! Thank You so much for checking out this pac reading, if you ever like it please do follow and reblog for more pac. Let me know what you feel by commenting down below...

© thedivineart — do not plagiarize any of my work, translate or repost it on other social media platform , do remember that this is only my official account where all my pac are posted, if you ever see something like mine from word by word kindly report it to me, thank you<3. theme is included

[ohwormwood]

random thoughts i have while playing isat pt. 7

[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]

opened the game and immediately went "im gonna make odile question my sanity!!!" but of course when i enter the house Siffrin decides to turn the scripted tutorial enemy into bean paste and ruins the run--

anyways. this panel will haunt me

i. i dont even know how but. I beat the king without him ever getting a chance to make his first attack. i just kept spamming slow and two jackpots later he was dead. i didn't even knoiw that was possible.

after a bit of fucking around i decided that i was gonna move on to act 5 and promptly burst into tears

update: i accidentally posted this too early dont look at me

sat and cried through the entirety of the party's interactions in act 5

screaming crying throwing up

even the king took one look at this dude and was like "are you good man like, you can take a rest before we do this you're literally about to topple over"

that post where odile says the oven copypasta during the mal du pays scene has permanently altered my brain and i literally laughed out loud when this line appeared

i haven't talked about it before but. a while ago i made a concept for a game based off the backrooms and omori, and odile talking about someone who is forgotten may not exist is the basis for the entire game's plot, it makes me want to go back and flesh it out a bit more!!!

i am deadset on the idea of making an edit with mirabelle's reflection craft but it's an uno reverse card

simultaneously in my brain: an edit where the sound mirabelle's reflection craft makes is the metal pipe meme

i am. such a fucking sucker for sickfics. i cannot get enough of them. act 5 has enough sickfic tropes to make a million spinoff fics on its own, it brings me life and i love it dearly

wailing

this line sends me into orbit every time i see it

odile attacking siffrin. hurts so, so so badly on an emotional level for me. Because like??? i get it. i get it and it sucks and she obviously doesn't want to, but she's scared. But siffrin is even more scared in that moment, and the immediate association of that pain with being hated by odile hurts me so much.

YEAHHHH ODILE GIRLBOSS SUPREME

they're so soft and squishy and cute in this image i c a n t

incoherent WAILING. this. this image. this image just about broke me. THEYRE SO HAPPY and RELIEVED, IT HURTS,,,

the tone shift to talking to the party afterwords is still so funny to me HJBDFBSBFH like lookit him. hes so smol. so silly.

we're kidnapping bonnie guys it's official

my honest reaction to this line: LESBIANS??????

and then she hits me with:

AND I LOST IT

more silly guy siffrin,,,,, my favorite

aaaa aAAAAAAAAAAA

ISABEAU'S SPRITE CHANGING TO BE DOING A HAPPY DANCE AFTER THE CONFESSION IS SOOOOO CUTE WAAA

bonnie and odile clapping for isabeau confessing will never not be funny but ALSO it implies the bonnie knew about Isa's crush. and i for one personally believe that they picked up on it from Odile's relentless teasing of Isabeau as the #1 Isafrin shipper

mirabelle: wait you had a crush on sif?????? and i didn't know????

my roommate, who is ace: this is the aroace experience for real,,,

literally all of the second interactions with Isabeau had me and my roommate SCREAMING

HOWLING LAUGHING

OK I NEVER KNEW???? THAT SIFFRIN TOLD ISABEAU ABOUT THE BAD TOUCH EVENT?????? IN CANON???? I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WAS A FANON THING BUT THEY ACTUALLY ADDRESS IT IN GAME AND???? ISA'S REACTION HAD ME ON THE FLOOR

siffrin: i kissed you once,,,,

isa:

the words "im being perfectly normal about this" is something i say on a daily basis so i relate to this wholeheartedly

AYO???????? ISA WHEN DID YOU BECOME SO SMOOTH????

this. this image. made my jaw hit the GODDAMN FLOOR. I WAS NOT MENTALLY PREPARED FOR IT AT ALL AND BOTH ME AND MY ROOMMATE S C R E A M E D WHEN WE SAW IT

LIKE???? HOLY FUCK SIF JESUSSSSSSSSSSS CHRIST???? how did isabeau not implode on the spot from that look bro howwwwwwwwwww

AND THEN. AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH TO MAKE MY HEART START SOBBING. ISA BLOWS YOU A KISS???? AAAA???

annnnd scene!

i will continue playing to get some of the different loop endings and i totally plan on doing two hats in the future!!! so im not quite done with this game yet i just got impatient in act 4 and i needed the Emotional Catharsis of Act 5

[mintytealfox]

TGWDLM AU Angst time!

'Inevitable' w/ Nortalice

I cannot believe the best Norton i've drawn so far is the one where he is saying 'let me puke in your mouth' O H M Y W O R D LOOOOL

I also noticed, while drawing this, that I only draw Norton smiling when there is something extra terribly wrong with him LOOOL

[mrsarnasdelicious]

Animal Shelter!AU Sihtric NSFW Alphabet

A = After (what they’re like after sex)

Sihtric is a snuggler extra ordinaire. He will want to cuddle once you are both cleaned up. Yes, you will need cleaning up. Be it a bath, a shower of just a quick toweling down, sex with Sihtric means you're gona be needing a good ol' clean up.

After you've clean up, Sihtric will cuddle up to you, with his head on/beside your chest. His very favourite it when you 'nurse' him to sleep. Man loves to fall asleep with your nipple in his mouth.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He knows he has a big cock and he is quite proud of it. Though he is also very very proud of his heterochromatic eyes.

On you, hands down, your tits. He cannot get enough of your boobs.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Sihtric has hyperspermia. He produces loads you would not believe are suited for a human. You sometimes have no idea what to do with how much he pumps into you, be it your pussy, your mouth or your ass. Or anywhere else on your body, really.

And he gets painful balls, too when he does not cum on an at least one and a half day interval. He needs to releave that pressure and he prefers to do it inside you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He once spied on Finan getting off and came in his pants just watching Finan jerk his own cock.

The first time he was at your place, he filched one of your panties from the hamper. He got off to it so many times before he casually returned it, washed and without you noticing.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He isn't exactly a virgin, but due to a latex allergy that remained undiscovered until he began seeing you, he's avoided sex for the main part. He has most of his kink experience with you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Cowgirl. He likes to submit to you and he likes seeing your tits bound, easy peasy mac and cheesy.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Sihtric can be quite silly. He likes to playfight, tickle and joke, mainly during foreplay.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

This boy has no body hair. Like, zilch. He even has very thin, sparse leg hair. His armpit hair is peach fuzz at best!

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Sihtric craves intimacy. Sex with you is more than fucking, more than pleasure. He needs affection much more than he needs sex. He views affection/romance as integral part of sex with you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Y E S. He jerks off soooo much. Because he is like, perpetually horny.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Lactation, Breeding, Praising, Edging, Exhibition, Voyeurism, Multiples, breast worship and dirty talk.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere he can get you, really. Tho he does prefer the bed, so he can get real close and real vulnerable.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

YOUR BOOBS. Your voice, compliments, Finan's cologne, your perfume, praise, a light breeze rushing through your hair. Everything, basically.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Bodily waste, ddlg and cnc

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Heck to the yes. Sihtric is enthousiastic about getting head, never lasting long when you suck his cock. And he loooooves eating you out, he can do it for hours on end.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He mixes it up, he can do either or and everything in between.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

YES. He gets to be inside you, what is not to like!!

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Sihtric is crazy enough to try everything, once, a few exceptions of course there.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Sihtric tends to be a quick shot the first round, but he can go for three round and round two or three usually last much longer. Though there are days he can go for five, all of them premature and desperate.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

YES ALL THE TOYS. Butt plugs, vibes, cockrings, fleshlights, all of the toys, on you and on him!!!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh no honey, it is you who teases him. He has the best reactions!

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

L O U D. Guy has no filter, no stop, no nothing. He is loud, whining, whimpering, moaning, grunting and groaning. And most of all, MOST OF ALL, Begging. He begs loudly and prettily.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Boy is such a disaster bi. He has the hugest crush on Finan and he indulges Uhtred whenever he wants to snog. He's not a person for monogamy because he most certainly will jump in bed with Finan if invited.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He is a grower and he is biiig. His sack is worn close to the root of his cock and his balls are a little larger than average. He is uncut.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

13/10. Guy's resting mood is horny. He always wants to fuck. Boyo's got sex on the brain all day erry day. And when you are near him, he has zero self control.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He zonks off once he is well and comfortable. Especially when you let him nurse to sleep. He put so much energy in the session that it is high time for him to go to sleep.

[queenofmistresses]

blitz x fem! reader nsfw head cannons? like what’s the aftermath like, what’s his fav body part, fav positions, role playing etc? thank you!!!

a/n doing the nsfw alphabet for the first time! I'm doing this as an established relationship as I think some answers would be different depending on where in the relationship you are

A- Aftercare

Would be good at aftercare, he shows his love through care and especially after sex this would be important. He'd clean you up properly and make sure you've got a big glass/bottle of water to help you feel more alive after everything. If it was a particularly messy session he would at the very least shower with you and maybe run you a bath depending on what you can manage

B- Body part

I feel like he's a thighs and ass man. Doesn't matter what they even look like, he just loves them and loves touching them.

C- Cum

Would love cumming inside you, it's his favourite - he's a simple man

D- Dirty secret

He would secretly love for you to take control one day, but it would take a lot for him to admit that

E- Experience

We all know Blitz is a fuckboy and has fucked half of hell, so very experienced

F- Favourite position

Hmm this is a tough one actually. I think he'd love you on top and he wants to see your face so... cowgirl?

G- Goofy

He spends 70% of it making jokes, he cannot be serious for any period of time

H- Hair

I mean he's bald... I think he absolutely does not touch anything down there, just lets it do what it's gonna do yk

I- Intimacy

Intimacy is very hard for him, he would be very touchy, hold your hand etc but in terms of saying anything romantic I think he'd struggle. Actions over words with Blitz

J- Jack off

Every day genuinely, even if you live together ngl

K- Kink

Bondage, pain

L- Location

He is a complete whore, he would do it anywhere. Favourite place would probably be in his office

M- Motivation

Literally anything, horny 24/7 and ready to go

N- No

Wouldn't be able to deal with you degrading him, would hit too hard for him

O- Oral

I think he loves giving and receiving, probably prefers receiving more but he does love giving

P- Pace

Would definitely be fast

R- Risk

Would be willing to try anything with you once, always game to try new things - isn't exactly risk adverse

S- Stamina

Decent stamina- as long as you give him a 10 minute break between each round he could probably go all night

T- Toys

We know that Blitz LOVES using toys in sex, you, him, both, anything, he loves a toy, not afraid to experiment with them

U- Unfair

He loves to tease you, he loves watching you squirm and whine

V- Volume

Talks a lot, and is not afraid to show you how much fun he's having so is very vocal

W- Wild card

The first time he tells you he loves you is when you're having sex

X- X-ray

Big dick, 100%, Stolas told us and I believe that man's blind obsession

Y- Yearning

Would never leave bed if it was up to him

Z- Zzz

Once you're all cleaned up and back in bed he would very quickly fall asleep

[rawliverandgoronspice]

◦ Descant of Greatness ◦

(The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time - Mature Audience - Gen, M/F - multi chapter - Part 2 of Unhallowed Vespers)

...

“I don’t fault you, Ganondorf.” Her eyes are crimson.The last seven years dried them of any tear worth holding onto, cleansed by the rain on the rampart of a kingdom that loathed them so. “Do you believe transcending godhood can save you from what you have started?"

All this stolen Power, and he still cannot stump the fear. “I have to try."

(read Chapter 1 on Ao3)

...

Finally, I'm kind of ready to start posting this fic!!

It was never meant to become such a huge thing, since I was just hoping to get the Zelda fever out of my system and handle some of the remaining frustrations about everything I couldn't touch upon in Litany of Betrayal, which is Part 1 of that series I called (after an INSANE amount of debate and hair pulling) Unhallowed Vespers.

This story is a non-linear character study of Ganondorf from OoT, with a healthy dose of liberties taken and choices made, that tries to get at the heart of why I think this character is so gosh darn interesting --but veers closer to dark fantasy than the original material even does, given, well, the kind of protagonist we have on our hands. It's a love letter that got kind of super long RIP to me being all like "yeah it's just going to be a couple of vignettes nothing crazy uwu" lol, look at you now with your 6k chapters you predictible fool

The story is a lot about legitimacy, culture, legacy and, of course, ambition and justice in the face of the divine. It's a tragedy, with a dash of existential horror that took me by surprise. It gave me an excuse to think a lot about gerudo culture!! I FINALLY wrote a scene about Ganondorf's coronation, which I've been wanting to have an excuse to do since I was like 14 years old!! There's a romance in there, though it is uhhh a little toxic because, again *gestures towards the protagonist involved*. People who are familiar with my writing will be very pleased (??) to know that this is the usual bullshit, and that I was bound to put politics in my Zelda if left unsupervised for too long. :(((

It's not 100% done yet so I don't have a set schedule of release, but it's about 75% done! I'll try to push the chapters out pretty fast (though it probably won't be fully released before TOTK :( the lore will come for me running and I'm s c a r e d)

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Can you do an Alphabet with Billy Washington? I know he’s minor but I would looove to read one for him. 😁

I managed one for Aemond and we only got him for 11 minutes. Three episodes feels like a lifetime by comparison lol Lemme see what I can do!

Billy Washington NSFW Alphabet

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

His partner will be the one dishing out the aftercare, as Billy's likely to get a bit teary eyed afterwards. Will need to be held close and told how good he's made them feel.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

Sadly, Billy boy doesn't really like anything about himself. Though if his partner is shorter than him, he'll enjoy the height difference and enveloping them in his arms.

Loves every part of his partner. Full on body worshipping, he simply cannot believe that they're his.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

He likes to finish inside - with or without a condom, depending on the birth control situation.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

Looked at his partner's holiday photos before they were together and cranked it to all of their bikini shots.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

Billy's a novice. He's had drunken one night stands, but never been with a partner long enough to learn what they like. He'll need to be taught.

F= Favorite position

Cowgirl. Secretly likes it when his partner takes control, but also likes grabbing their hips and guiding their movements.

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

Billy can be a little bit awkward, having a partner that's willing to laugh off the cramps or when he trips trying to get his trousers off will definitely help ease the tension.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

It's a mess down there. You can't really expect much else, he looks like Shaggy from Scooby Doo.

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

Most of the time it's soft and slow, but if he's been down the pub or feeling angry then he's fast and rough with it.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

Any chance he gets. Billy is unemployed and has access to the internet and a local corner shop selling lads' mags. What else can you expect?

K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)

Voyeurism. Loves to watch his partner - watch them get changed, watch them shower, watch the peek of their cleavage down their top or the rise of their g-string over their jeans. He'll think he's died and gone to heaven if they let him watch them get off.

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

His bed, his sofa and the back of his car.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

Any sort of praise. Being made to feel useful. Feeling bigger/stronger than his partner. Neck kisses. Form fitting clothing.

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

Not into degradation, either receiving or giving. He likes to love and feel loved.

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

Will melt into a big puddle if he's on the receiving end. Unsure of what to do when giving it, but will follow instruction and is eager to please.

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

Goes slow, but doesn't last for long. This will improve with time.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

Not opposed to a quickie in the pub toilets or the back of his car.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

As long as it's nothing too outlandish, he'll try anything once.

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

Will glad do two or three times in a session, none of them are particularly lengthy though.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

Terrified at the prospect of having anything used on him and seeing anything of his partner's will make him feel inadequate.

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

Not a tease himself, but will be a whining mess in no time if he's teased.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

Moans like a little bitch.

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

His favourite thing to do in the morning is wake his partner up by pressing his hard on against their arse.

X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)

6-6.5 inches. He doesn't disappoint. Ruddy in colour at the tip and on the slimmer side.

Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)

Quite high from all the wanking.

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

Laying in his partner's arms after sex is the only time Billy sleeps well, so he drifts off quite quickly afterwards.

[dynamic-k]

I seriously cannot think of a question-

soooo... um

idk Whose your favorite AVA/M character?

I think mine is either Chosen or Agent. Not sure which one, but canonically I think I like Chosen better.

also how do you take pictures using a computer???

I might be considering posting some art or whatever, to see people's opinion on it.

but then i also didn't anonymously ask my first ask to you- not sure why, I pressed ask anonymously- So if my art is bad then i might have to make a new account from embarrassment

ANYWAY- Why is that stick/person/character your favorite??

hmmm. Do you have a favorite ship?

Have an awesome day/night,

-R

SECOND IS MY FAVORITE!! :D THE BOI THE ORANGE BOI MY BELOVED BLORBO WQJBfQHFUKQF

HimMmMmmMMmMmMMmMMM

And Chosen is my second [ehehehhe] favorite~ :DD

To access my computer's webcam for pictures, I hit my Windows key and type in "camera" and click "Open" when the app shows up. You can pin this app to your taskbar for easier access, if you need to. :3

...Have you seen my art- It's- So bad- jqirnekgt

I can't believe all my siblings are such cool artists and I'm over here with MEH. I certainly LOVE making art, it's fun!! It's one of my favorite pastimes~ But uh- That don't mean I'm the greatest at it-

My art is best in word form~ U v U Ehehehehhehe

Second is Second, do I really need a reason- /silly

I do have a favorite ship, I think..? character!Alan x character!Kaori. Which is kinda odd, considering the specifics are left up to interpretation most of the time- I love practically all the ships, though. I'm very versatile and agreeable-

:D AWESOME DAY I SHALT HAVE INDEED, AND YOU AS WELL MY RAMBLY COMPANION!

eheheheheehehehheheheehehehheheeeehehhehehhehehehehehehehheehheehehehhehehehehhehehehehehehehehehhehehehehee~

I have been brainrotting a lot today, about Spark AU mercenaries- And I'm excited for no reason other than I've had two coffee's-

[cass-rambles]

Hiii guys, after my last .. uh theory thingy I'm back to ramble more. (About mostly Morty Prime this time). Because I'm very normal about R&M I promise. :D

Anyways! (Major spoilers for season 7 ahead!!!)

I've been thinking about season 7 again, as well as the earlier seasons, and I've got a few ideas/possibilities/plot bunnies of what the writers of Rick and Morty might do for Morty.

The thing is, season 7 had somewhat really juggled Morty's character back and forth between its development and regression for Unmortricken, giving more light to the rest of the Smith family and Rick. I don't mean to phrase this negatively, but compared to earlier seasons, Morty seems to more of just being there, not taking into mind the episodes w Rick Prime and episode 10 of the latest season.

And this brings me to my point: What will they do with Morty's character and development now?

Let's take all things into consideration:

Rick Prime is gone/dead (hopefully permamently but it could be an interesting throwback)

Rick C-137 can be now actively allowed to heal

There is nothing (particularly) endangering their whole family

Evil Morty returned to his paradise island and there doesn't seem to be a strong/certain reason for him to return to the Central Curve

So the new arc, by technicality, should consist of Morty's and Rick's healing, right? Right???

That's what I thought of at first, but there's a good chance it's not as clear as it may appear.

For example, let's talk about the last episode of season 7. Throughout all of it we have the dissection of Rick's and Morty's fears, even as far as having an accurate Diane in it. It portrays how many fears and worries Morty Prime has accumulated through the seasons, including, of course, not being accepted, his fear of being replaced (THANKS RICK <3🙄) and many more. My point here is, that his trauma runs deep, it's hard-rooted into his character and almost unmovable. The most fucked up thing about it in the ep, is that Morty receiveing positive attention from Rick, is what made him realize that he's the only one in the hole. Because he doesn't believe Rick would consciously describe him as an irreplacable person in his life.

Which brings me to one of my key-thought-out-problems. Can Morty Prime even heal properly, at least around his family?

Chances are: it might be a HUGE FUCKING ISSUE.

(To be fair here, I'm not an entirely objective theorizer, even though I'm trying to stay as neutral as I can, please take my ideas with a grain of salt.)

Morty Prime actively thinks that all healthy affection he receives from Rick isn't actually received from Rick (most likely paranoia from the Rickbot arc) or that he's in a scenario in which his family isn't real. His counsciousness has already started to agree and intertwine into his approach all of the things and actions that have previously hurt the teen. (For example, if his family lashes out at him, he's being ridiculed or hurt by them to some degree, then it must mean they're real. It is an objective truth.) And it makes me think that Morty may need to be away from his family to be able to acknowledge each of his traumatic experiences in order to attempt moving on from them.

I think that Morty in order to heal, will have to learn that he doesn't have to focus on others all the time and can learn how to depend on himself, because he lacks trust even in his own thoughts. And so far, Morty has barely digested his trauma, more of "shelving" it away for later or having occasional meltdowns once he's under too much pressure. He always seems to be stuck in survival mode in some way, meaning that his brain prioritizes keeping him alive, rather then caring for the damage.

So by those thoughts, it is a possibility that Rick's healing and Morty's healing, cannot partake side by side, and therefore may result in Morty leaving his family to achieve healthy progress.

Either way, this is all just speculating and my ideas, but I hope it helped some people in their own theories. (My inbox is VERY open to rambling about R&M in ANY WAY.)

(Side idea for my enjoyment: Morty leaving his family can play into the theory that Morty Prime may actively search out Evil Morty to understand how he can achieve a process and goal in which he doesn't "cling" to his family and Rick.)

[underworld-park-offical]

TOLKIEN: Oh hey, baby!

CLYDE: Hey bae

CLYDE: What's good?

TOLKIEN: You took a while in there

TOLKIEN: Everything okay?

TOLKIEN: It was pretty concerning considering you have IBS

CLYDE: Nononononono honey honey honey I'm okay! Pinky promise!

TOLKIEN: Okay…

TOLKIEN: Wait….

TOLKIEN: What's that brown stuff on your hands?

CLYDE: Uhhhh

CLYDE: Chocolate?

TOLKIEN: ….

TOLKIEN: Is that shit

TOLKIEN: On your fucking hands

CLYDE: ….no?

TOLKIEN: Babe.

TOLKIEN: Did you not wash your hands

CLYDE: I washed them, I swear!

TOLKIEN: Then what's that brown stuff all over your hands

CLYDE: I told you it's chocolate!

TOLKIEN: Chocolate doesn’t SMELL like that Clyde!

CLYDE: Why don't you believe me???

TOLKIEN: It's shit, isn't it?

CLYDE: ….

TOLKIEN: Clyde.

CLYDE: Okay…

CLYDE: You got me…

TOLKIEN: That's fucking disgusting

CLYDE: THERE WASN'T ANY SOAP LEFT WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO!!!

TOLKIEN: Use water or something!

CLYDE: I cleaned it with toilet paper but it just smudges everywhere!

TOLKIEN: I can't BELIEVE what I'm hearing right now

CLYDE: Tolkien!

TOLKIEN: No, no

TOLKIEN: We’re done

CLYDE: Wh…

CLYDE: What?????

TOLKIEN: We’re. Done.

TOLKIEN: Over

TOLKIEN: I knew things were off as SOON as you started talking to the new kid about Nightcore

CLYDE: TOLKIEN PLEASEEEEE

TOLKIEN: Don't even, Clyde

TOLKIEN: You can't sweet talk your way out of this

TOLKIEN: We’re going to Stan’s so you can wash your fucking hands

CLYDE: NOOOOO STAN'S HOUSE SMELLS LIKE PERFUME AND PEE

TOLKIEN: This is not up for debate

TOLKIEN: We’re. Going.

CLYDE: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWEEK: Where are you going

CRAIG: Home, I'm going home

TWEEK: ….What?

CRAIG: Tik Tok trend

CRAIG: You normies wouldn’t understand

CRAIG: Oh huh?

CRAIG: Who the hell?

CRAIG: Read the room it is not slaying atm

CLYDE: CRAAAA-HEY-HEY-AAAAAIG

CRAIG: Oh

CRAIG: Wsg??

CLYDE: TOLKIEN BROKE UP WITH ME-HEE-HEEE

CRAIG: Damn

CRAIG: Skill issue

CLYDE: DON'T YOU CARE-HARE-HARE?????

CRAIG: No

TOLKIEN: ARE YOU ON THE PHONE WITH FUCKING CRAIG RIGHT NOW????? CLYDE: SHUT UPPPPP

CRAIG: Y’alls are all gonna get aids

CRAIG: Bottom line

CRAIG: Byeeeee

CRAIG: OMG IS THAT FUCKING WHO I THINK IT IS OMG

GREGORY: All these years of tormenting Sir Pip

GREGORY: And you didn't think it would bite you back?

GREGORY: Not to mention your beard  doesn't go with the rest of your outfit

STAN: HHHK- CAN'T- BREATHE-

GREGORY: Ah ah ah…

GREGORY: Ugly people don’t get speaking rights

CRAIG: YOU'RE GREGORY_CUTIE_PIE_3rd!!!!

GREGORY: Ahhhh!~ This is only the BEGINNING of your SUFFERING!

GREGORY: I cannot WAIT for Sir Pip and I to hear your screams!

GREGORY: AHAHAHAHAHAHAH GREGORY: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!!! GREGORY: AHAHAHAHAAHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

GREGORY: THEN WHEN YOU'RE IN HELL I CAN HEAR YOU SCREAMING IN PAIN FROM TORTURE FOREVER

GREGORY: and ever and ever and ever and ever ╬ and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever ╬ and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever an ╬ d ever and ╬ ╬ ever and ever and ever and ever and ev ╬ er and ever and ever and ev ╬ ╬ er and ╬ ever and e ╬ ╬ ╬ ver and ev ╬ ╬ er and ever and ever ╬ and ever and ╬ eve ╬ r and ever and e ╬ ve ╬ r a ╬ ╬ nd ever a ╬ nd ╬ ever ╬ ╬ ╬ an ╬ ╬ d ever an ╬ ╬ ╬ d e ╬ ver ╬ and ╬ eve ╬ r ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬╬╬╬╬

CRAIG: YOU’VE BEEN CALLING MY MERCH UGLY!!!!

GREGORY: Oh Satan I can't wait for you to DIE by my hand and Sir Pip watches!

GREGORY: Then after that….

GREGORY: I'll rip you apart

GREGORY:...

GREGORY: Did I really say that, Stanny Poo? 

GREGORY: Oh, I didn’t mean it

GREGORY: Actually…

GREGORY: Are you single?

GREGORY: Wait, can I paint your nails?

GREGORY: Can you paint....MY nails????

STAN: What… the actual…

STAN: ...

STAN: You know what…

STAN: Yes.

KYLE: Stan, what the fuck

STAN: (dude, he's hot)

KYLE: (oh yeah)

GREGORY: Oh, we can get our highlights done!

GREGORY: We can go to Bath & Body Works!

GREGORY: And H&M!!!!!!!!!

CARTMAN: (guys, hes distracted, lets cancel him and get the fuck out of here)

(Edits made by @pissblanket)