#I DONT KNOW MAN MAYBE THIS IS SELF CENTERED

[unoriginal-and-dumb]

I’m nawt gonna lie gang, with the day I’ve had today I realized I should stand up for myself against stuff that’s making me upset because I’ve had enough of not being joyous so im addressing it

I said before that I don’t mind if people draw inspiration from my infected design, but there has been a lot of times (so many today of all days of course) where it really is just my design and yes I am flattered but please, please credit me

I came up with the design as a whole on my own, based entirely on “oh that would be kinda cool” in my head, and when I first started drawing it I didn’t really see anyone else drawing rlly anything similar to my design at all so I mean.. I dunno man I kinda would like credit maybe please

adding on to part of the reason why im doin this cuz now im seeing other people given credits and it’s like hm ok 😮😕

It’s been happening for nearly every single fandom I’ve been in now and it’s like errr ok…

[comicallylargemango]

Senku I. X Reader! !!

Fictype: songfic

Genre: fluff

Warning: none

A.N: h IM BACK!! With a Senku Ishigami fic!!! He has been plaguing my mind for a month so ermm ywah

Aslso N/n means nick name

HAPPY STONE DAAAYYYYYYYY

★I've rejected affection, for years and years.

At this point everyone knew Senku ishigami was a man of science, he had no time for such illogical things like love. but fate disagreed.

★Now I have it and damn it, it's kind of weird.

When you had first told Senku the words, "I Love You" he was quite shocked, in a good way, of course. a feeling of warmth and affection rose from the dark, mechanical depths of his heart. No one had ever told him that directly, though he knew from their actions and and body language, everyone had their own way of saying I love you, be it platonic or romantic.

It was only natural that he'd be tongue tied when he heard the words "I Love you." Come from your lips. He was hesitant to say it back, the three words feeling foreign 'n weird in his mouth. Never would he have thought he'd say them.

★He tells I'm pretty,

He however, is indifferent to to looks. He doesn't care about the way someone dresses, or how he dresses for that matter. He knows he looks fine.

But for some reason, whenever you were around, he found himself more conscious of his looks and mannerisms. At first he thought it might've just been hormones but never had he felt that way before, so his second thought was you. At the beginning, when you two had first met, he was... Uninterested, to say the least. But as time grew on, he found himself hyper aware and overly embarrassed whenever he did something even just slightly off character Infront of you.

★Dont know how to respond.

When you complimented his knowledge in science, it... Made him feel better, more confident. It wasn't the first time someone had complimented him before but hearing it from you just sounded better, sweeter in his ears. So much so that whenever he'd finish his projects or experiments, he'd always look for your opinion first, his first thought when making something amazing was you.

★I tell him that he's pretty too,

So it was only natural he'd start reciprocating, after all. He isn't some self centered prick, he knows feedback and constructive criticism is important. Though he was a bit hesitant of saying it out loud at first.

"Yo. Y/n." He greets you from behind. Looking at the project you had finally finished. It wasn't overly amazing or perfect, it was fine, it was... You. (In his own words.)

"Heya, Science Guy." You looked over your shoulders to greet him, smiling softly as you wiped your sweaty forehead.

Senku stood beside you, examining it for a while before turning to look at you, hesitating for a while. "Good job, N/n. I'm ten billion percent sure you're getting an A."

★Can I say that? don't have a clue.

He was patiently, (nervously, though he'd never admit it) waiting for your answer. It wasn't usual for him to give out compliments or anything of the sort.

But the way your eyes lit up, the upward curve of your lips, and the way you puffed out your chest and stood straight with confidence?

Yep, he'd have to start complimenting you more often.

"Thanks! Senku."

★With every passing moment, I surprise myself.

At first he doesn't notice it, all the acts of service and words of affirmation he gives to you completely fly over his head. It was only when Gen pointed it out that he finally realised.

"Isn't it so strange?" Gen nudges at Senku with his elbow.

Senku looks up at him in confusion. "What's strange?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Mmm, I don't know. Maybe the way you're a lot more affectionate towards Y/n-Chan than towards anyone else?" He teased, feigning innocence and curiosity.

"Dunno what you're talkin about." Senku shuts him off bluntly.

Gen has an evil smile on his face. "Oh? Then what about that gift you gave them two days ago?Or the week before that? Or when you complimented their technique despite everyone else doing just as well?" He smiles wider.

Senku facepalms, looking at Gen with an uninterested expression. "That's because it's important to reward people for their hard work, Gen."

"And it's because they have been working harder than others."

"Hmmm, is that so~?"

★I'm scared of flies, I'm scared of guys.

When Senku first acknowledged his feelings, they were small, like the bud of a flower waiting to bloom.

But when the petrification happened, the dark void gave his feelings time to ferment and grow stronger. Aside from counting every individual second, you were constantly plaguing his mind, despite his best efforts, sweet images of you and Him constantly threatened to reset the count. But somehow, he managed.

★Someone please help..

And as he broke out of the stone prison, his condition only worsened, (by condition; I mean him wanting to see you again so badly) the many memories you both had together had been modified by his feelings for you and turned sweeter, overly romanticised, if you will.

★Cause I think I'm falling inlove this time,

And it didn't help with the fact that practically everything reminded you of him.

Whenever he needed flowers for dye, boom bam a million memories of the few times he touched your soft skin.

Whenever he saw the sunrise, it reminded him of your smile, the way your eyes would shine whenever he complimented you.

★i blinked and suddenly I had a valentine. (Valentine)

It was all so surreal to him, how he managed to fall in love. someone like him, falling inlove? If you told the Past Senku he woulda laughed in your face, and then go on a rant about how illogical love is blah blah yada yada yada.

But he wasn't complaining, who would complain about having a valentine?

♪ ♪ ♬

★What if he's the last one I kiss?

You remember it like it was yesterday, the first time you'd have kissed Senku. Though it wasn't hot and steamy like how the forbidden part of your brain thought it'd be. It was more or less, awkward. But sweet nonetheless.

"Sseeeeeeeennnnnkkkuuuuuuuuuu. . ." You poked at his face, trying to pry his attention off of his experiment.

"aaaaaaAAAAAAAAA. What is it now, N/n." He groaned exasperatedly. Carefully setting down the glass jar.

"I have a question." You smiled deviously.

Senku groaned even louder, glaring at you with the most uninterested face ever. "No a car will not pull itself if you attach a magnet Infront of it, My hair-"

"No— Senku that's not—"

"—my hair stands up because I style it that way, and—"

"sENKU" you shout exasperatedly, finally getting his attention.

"What?" He stares at you annoyedly.

"Can I kiss you?" You finally ask, suddenly seeming very serious, as if you were playing mario cart with Senku's competitive ass.

Senku's eyes widened in shock, though he immediately resumes his calm, uninterested expression. "Mmmmh.. Nah." He turns back to focus on his work with a smug smirk on his face.

Already imagining the dumbstruck expression on your face, nearly doubling over laughing as he can basically hear you pout through your voice.

"wHy not?" You ask, nudging his shoulder until you get his attention.

"Because I'm busy." He deadpans.

"Too busy for just a little peck?" You tap on his shoulder to get him to look at you, then using the most girly voice you could muster:

"Pretty pleaseeeeeee??" You put your hands together to seem more convincing.

It's effective! Senku ishigami loses -10 billion willpower! (Cmon now we all know he's soft on the inside)

Senku Inhales deeply before letting out the most obnoxious exhale you've ever seen. "Fine." He grumbles. He turns his body to face you, still slightly hesitant.

He leans in slightly, waiting for you to reciprocate. When you finally get over your inner fan-girling, you lean in a little too fast and end up bumping foreheads with Senku.

He rubs the place where you two bumped in a an attempt to sooth it.

"I—im sorry! I didn't mean to. ." You look down shamefully. Little did you know that, as soon as Senku recovered, that awesomely big science brain of his conjured a devious plan. (His words not mine)

When you least expected it, he brought his hands up to your cheeks, gently making you look at him. Before he leans in and kisses you softly on the lips.

It was short but sweet. When he leaned away, he took a moment to admire your starstruck expression, smirking at his accomplishment.

Before you could respond, he tries to lick his lips as sneakily as possible so you wouldn't see. (You saw it)

"That good enough for you?"

★What if he's the only one I'll ever miss?

You knew what love felt like, (mostly from TV shows but anyway) and it was nice. But, you'd never chase it, yeah sure it makes you feel all nice and warm and cozy. You'd miss it for a little while, all the affection n sappiness. But life goes on,

That is, until you met Senku.

As you grew closer to him, you had the strong urge to be near him, closer to him. He plagued your thoughts 24/7, him and his stinky, unique, Leek hair, it was quite obvious you loved him. How could you not?

The way his eyes lit up whenever he talked about science, the determination in his eyes to finish some project of his, his... Brash and oftentimes rude personality, though you knew better. He only cared.

★Maybe I should run? I'm only 21.

Sometimes it was hard, Loving Senku. Not because he made it hard, No No, in fact it was all too easy to love him. Before you confessed to Senku, thoughts of rejection constantly plagued your mind.

Senku was a man of science, no way he'd reciprocate your feelings, right?

And so you thought just blocking them out was the right way to go, though it only allowed your feelings to get stronger and stronger until it overpowered you.

★I don't even know who I want to become.

Senku was a straightforward guy, that's one thing you admired about him. This feeling only cemented when he proudly and confidently declared he was gonna revive the human race. Despite knowing Senku for a long time, it still shocked you. Though, it would throw off anyone really.

★I've lost all control, with my heartbeat now.

One thing was for sure though, you both loved eachother. Despite Senku being a bit stiff about affection sometimes, it was clear he loved you in other ways.

whenever he looks at you, so softly, so lovingly. And that smile you knew was reserved for you and you only. It never failed to make your heart race. Whenever he complimented you, or, use the teasing banter you two always had to indirectly say "I love you"

★Got caught in a romance with him, somehow.

It was all so surreal to you, Senku? Loving you back? If you told anyone that they'd look at you as if you were insane, probably because it was an insane statement by itself. Never thought it'd say Senku and Love in the same sentence unless it was "Senku loves science".

You weren't complaining however, a life without Senku would be utterly, thoroughly, mundane.

It was already late at night, you were both laying on the grass, enjoying the stars in the sky that were previously covered by light pollution 3700 years ago. You and Senku were laying down silently against each other, enjoying this brief moment together before the morning came and Senku had to go back to his duties as the chief.

"Hey, Senku." You turn to look at him, he sighs quietly as if to prepare himself for your shenanigans once more.

"Hm?" He hums, still staring at the sky,only tilting his head ever so slightly towards you to let him know he was listening.

"Why is it that love makes you "dumb"?"

"Because, N/n, the feeling you get around someone you love is actually the brain producing the hormones called, 'serotonin', 'dopamine', 'oxytocin', and 'endorphins'." He turns to look at you to see if you're still listening, instead he finds you staring at him Intently, with the most loving gaze ever.

He freezes for a moment before continuing, a tiny of pink on the tips of his ears.

"So when the brain inevitably gets accustomed to releasing chemicals around that person it will do nearly everything to be around them, making the person do or think irrationally and illogically."

"No wonder why I'm so "Stupid" around you." You smile cheekily.

Senku scoffs before looking back up at the sky, "nah, I'm pretty sure you're just stupid in general."

"Not nice, You leekhead!"

"Since when was I nice? And stop calling me leekhead."

★I still feel a shock, Through every bone.

It still shocks Senku to his core that he managed to fall inlove, someone like him? Inlove? He even took such serious measures to insure he'd never fall inlove.

But he's glad he's let his guard down this time, cause if he didn't? He would never have gotten to Love you.

★When I hear an "I love you" cause now I've got someone to lose.

When he first (directly) said I love you, it nearly short-circuited your brain. He rarely said it, usually because he saw no reason to since he knew you knew he loved you already.

Despite it only being three words it held a deep meaning in both of your hearts, a reminder that no matter what happens you're both there for eachother.

★The first one to ever like me back,

It wasn't the first time you've had a crush before, though you haven't been through alot of romantic relationships, or any at all.

So when you decided to finally confess to Senku, him accepting the confession was the last thing you'd thought he'd do.

★I'm seconds away from a heart attack.

It never failed to catch Senku by surprise whenever you'd outwardly state you loved him,

Not to say he didn't enjoy it, of course he did. Though he'd rather die than admit it.

All those times you'd randomly bombard him with affection and praises, it sent butterflies to his stomach.

"Bill Nye the science guy! Whatcha doin?" You'd exclaim as you walked towards him.

He sighed before looking back at you, "was "Science leek", "leekhead", or "leek-haired" not enough?" He stares at you with the most tired face ever, though it was actually quite the opposite of what he was feeling.

"Shshhshhhhhsh, anyway, whatcha doing?" You playfully put a finger over his lips to shut him up. Chuckling when he sends a glare your way.

He slaps the hand away before finally talking, "I'm making a robot from scratch. It's ten million percent hard and ten billion percent exhilarating." He smirks.

He rants about all the parts and materials he's gonna need and all their uses, what they do, and how exhilarating this is.

"And then-" he gets briefly cut off when you place a soft kiss on his forehead, then his nose, and his cheek. As his brain slowly starts realising, he can feel his face heating up. Though he immediately recovers and instead the tips of his ears become red.

"Oops, my bad. You're just so cute when you rant yknow?" You smirk smugly, aware of what you just did. The smirk on your face only grows wider as you take in Senku's confused face.

As you were lost in the blinding bliss of finally managing to catch Senku off guard, he suddenly leans in close to you and presses a soft kiss to the edge of your lips, missing your lips entirely.

He mirrors the expression you had as he gives you a taste of your own medicine. "Oh sorry, you're just so adorable when your all confident and proud like that, couldn't help myself."

"You're lucky I love you, Leek boy."

"I must be the luckiest Leek in the world then."

★How the hell did I fall inlove this time? And honestly I can't believe I get to call you mine.

He still can't believe he fell inlove, especially with you, no offense, he loves you and would probably die for you but he always thought he'd be most likely to date someone with more knowledge in science,

But, he'd much rather have your curiosity and enthusiasm to learn over someone who already knows.

★I blinked and suddenly I had a valentine.

He stands there in awe, wondering what he could've done to deserve you. He thinks about all the time you've done something for him even though you didn't have to. All those times you've listened to him rant during a phone call, all those times you'd help him carry some "heavy" stuff. Even though it was actually light and Senku just has the muscles of a twig.

He looks at the telescope and the gift you made personally for him, a little star carved out of wood. You two would spend forever in his room gazing at the stars through his old telescope. He smiles softly at the star before looking back up to meet yours.

"Happy birthday, Senku."

[lassolo]

Maybe hot take? I think if Jegulus were a thing, Sirius would be upset but it would never be because omg James he’s my baby brother he’s innocent dont date him. It would be so much more fucked up.

It would be there was only one person I consider family who I thought would choose me over him, and it was you. It would be I don’t know how to love you both at the same time. It would be everyone lied to me. You, regulus, Remus. Everyone knew but me and I thought u were the one person in the world who would never make me feel that small. It would be you were the one thing i had that my family couldn’t take away.

It’s just GUT WRENCHING. Like, a lot of Sirius’ feelings would be self centered for sure. It all comes from a place of deep insecurity and trauma, but it would never just be ‘I’m a protective big brother’ superficial stuff. And it would all still be VALID. like yes James go get ur man, I’m happy for u separately, but it would not go down easy with ur bestie. Like, they’d get through it all eventually sure but it would tear them apart in the meantime. It would break some part of them forever, maybe.

I hope this didn’t sound disparaging on jegulus as a ship, I think they’re great I just think in like a canon situation or where the blacks are as bad as they are in canon, this is how it would go.

[mast3rofnonee]

0:Height- 5'10/11

1:Virgin?- yes

2:Shoe size-11

3:Do you smoke?-no

4:Do you drink?-no

5:Do you take drugs?-no

6:Age you get mistaken for- 18

7:Have tattoos? -yes but no

8:Want any tattoos? -yesssss

9:Got any piercings? -yes (septum)

10:Want any piercings?-eyebrow, nose stud vertical labaret, belly, and my all of my ears

11:Best friend?- yes but not really (i literally fell out with my bestie of four years. Lmk for a storytime)

12:Relationship status- takennn

13:Biggest turn ons- intellectual/intelligence, funny, kinda really mean, big nose(s), and height (ntm tho)

14:Biggest turn offs - disrespectful to women (or anyone but mainly women) in ANY way, too sexual, dumb, immature!!

15:Favorite movie- CMBYN

16:I’ll love you if- you let me do weird stuff with you. like weird esoteric off-putting shit.

17:Someone you miss- My bestie, my man.

18:Most traumatic experience- idek know atp tbh but maybe when i got outted and when my parents thought i was doing drugs.

19:A fact about your personality- i am very goofy and a weirdo <3 (no corny stuff lmao)

20:What I hate most about myself- mouth lol

21:What I love most about myself- face, personality mainly tho

22:What I want to be when I get older- psychiatrist/forensic scientist

23:My relationship with my sibling(s)- good!!

24:My relationship with my parent(s) - fine. (dad), my mother im pretty close to id say.

25:My idea of a perfect date- picnic by a waterfall in a secluded forest in a cute bikini and fresh fruit with a charcuterie board with a speaker playing my music.

26:My biggest pet peeves- chewing with your mouth open, "ALPHA MALE" men, self centered people, being that try and force stuff on you (cough cough), being greedy, MEAN PEOPLE!

27:A description of the girl/boy I like- short king(lmao), curly hair, chubby, nerdy. (my bf)

28:A description of the person I dislike the most- normal height, afro hair, lightskin, crooked teeth, huge boobs.

29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend - she would get mad at the truth ( dont do that anymore idgaf)

30:What I hate the most about work/school - teachers.

31:What your last text message says- idk

32:What words upset me the most- "youre not my _ anymore " idek i have sm

33:What words make me feel the best about myself- youre so beautiful, i can trust you, i love you.

34:What I find attractive in women- basically everything if i find them attractive. but even if not, i still like everything, ( i think women are the most gorgeous creatures on earth)

35:What I find attractive in men - big noses, body hair (hear me out), freckles, messy (long) hair / curly hair, pretty eyes, long eyelashes, thighs, ass, arms/ hands.

36:Where I would like to live- Countrysides in the medteranian (idk if italy counts), UK/ireland/scotland/iceland (idk if italy counts), any big city in western europe, NYC, brasil, or somwhere in washington state!!

37:One of my insecurities- my height sometimes, stretch marks sometimes.

38:My childhood career choice- archaeologist.

39:My favorite ice cream flavor- coffee

40:Who wish I could be- if i had to Zendaya.

41:Where I want to be right now- anywhere i would like to travel to, just anywhere, in a cute outfit with my favorite DILF.

42:The last thing I ate- whole grain crackers.

43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately- Pedro Pascal and then after that one of my DILF teachers (teehee)

44: A random fact about anything- In WWII during the blitz in the UK, they shipped all of the children to the countryside of Britain to protect them.

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

hey tumblr! hot tip!!! if you see people criticizing your fav actor/creator/celeb etc for a lack of support for Palestine and want to get big mad abt it:

ask yourself, deeply and truly, why this makes you angry. really. why does that make you angry? look in the mirror and ask yourself why.

Don't pull out the following terms: "keyboard warrior", "what have YOU done lately besides be high and mighty on the internet?", "double standards", "this is The Internet(tm) Of Course Words Matter More Than Actions", etc. because uh

NEWSFLASH DIP SHITS

THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO MAY HAVE

JUST POSSIBLY

DONE THINGS FOR THE MOVEMENT THAT COULD GET THEM IN LEGAL TROUBLE IF ADMITTED

HELD OFF POLICE AT COLLEGE ENCAMPMENTS

STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT TO HOLD SPACE

GONE WITHOUT FOOD SO THEY COULD AFFORD TO DONATE

GONE WITHOUT CHORES/OTHER NECCESARY TASKS TO MAKE TIME FOR PROTESTS

*SEEN THEIR FRIENDS DRAGGED AWAY BY RIOT POLICE*

*WITHIN THE PAST TWO WEEKS*

WAITED FOR THEIR FRIENDS TO GET BACK FROM FUCKING JAIL

AND STILL KEPT SHOWING UP.

UNTIL THEY WORKED THEMSELVES TO ILLNESS.

you dont know who I am. you don't know what I'm doing. at the same goes for anyone and everyone on this site. sure, maybe they're the soyjak sjw you're picturing, marinating in sweat and dorito crumbs while they sip boba surrounded by plushies and obscure pride flags, wallowing in self-centered hypocrisy

or maybe they're not. maybe they shaved all their hair off because they had too much on-camera recognition and feared being followed home by cops, like had happened to their peers.

maybe they've been manhandled and shoved by security and police recently.

maybe they're endangering the scholarships that are their only reason to live rather than stay silent on their college's ties to the military-industrial complex.

maybe they lie to their parents and family friends and ANY older friends about where they are in the evening because they know that the truth could destroy those relationships

maybe they're Jewish and struggling to understand how their community can be so unable to see the reality of the situation

I'm not saying I'm doing The Most Ever, or even that I'm doing a lot. I'm not, not by my community's standards, not in comparison to my friends and peers, and especially not currently as im dealing with finals. I'm just showing up and doing what I can, even though it isnt much.

and I'm not going to assume that anyone saying this bs ALSO isnt doing anything for the movement

maybe you are! if so, thats great!

but fucking think before you speak because you have literally no idea who you're talking to or what their life is like. even if you're doing The Most Bestest Possible Ever for the movement rn, online and off 24/7

you have no right to pass judgement based on what you ASSUME about a stranger.

you have no right and no reason to think that anyone who "complains" online is thus inactive irl, in fact that makes literally no sense.

if you're really about genuine activism and radical action and support of this movement. why are you being a dick to people for speaking out?

and if you're not. if you just think that we're a bunch of whiny hypocrites looking for a reason to get on your high horse....

then man you are just a waste of life im sry idk what to tell u. get off tumblr, do some research, change yourself. "get better soon bestie" or something idk i dont even have words for that kinda brainlessness.

I'm just saying, I don't think the cops, or the president of my university, or the security and event staff at (REDACTED) would call me a "keyboard warrior" lmaoooooo

[sunnynoki]

We don’t talk a lot - We haven’t talked in probably about a year or so now, since I left the fandom space we met in. I’ve changed usernames since then - I went by Wheat on discord. Sorry I’ve been so distant. I never knew how to talk to you since it’s been a while.

Even still, I want to tell you that you were important to me, and still are. I wish we could talk more. I want to talk about your new interests. What are you into these days? I’ve been getting into some older games these days, but I’ve been missing pokemon a bit. I want to get back into it. Do you still draw Sky? I never asked you about them with as much detail as I wanted to. I was always worried about being too intrusive, but I regret that now. Your OCs are really imaginative. I know you’re into tensura now, right? Season 3 is coming out soon. I’m excited for that.

I want to get to know you again. I don’t know what happened with whatever you left behind, and I don’t know if this is a weird message to send, but you’re important to me and I want to let you know that you are. I wouldn’t be who I am if you weren’t there in the beginning. Thank you for being you.

i dont know how to talk either. every sentence i say either feels fake or self centered, selfish. and dont worry about being distant; it happens, especially when interests change. i dont blame you.

youre important to me too. i wish we could talk more. im not into much right now. i just feel empty. i gave up su/bmas, after everything. it was too much, not knowing who i could trust not to fucking ship them, or think its ok in any circumstance. yet sometimes i still crawl back to the tag, despite blocking it a while ago. i dont touch anything though, just look. it doesnt bring me joy anymore. i think im finally letting it go. i dont know how i feel about po/kemon yet. its kinda just. there. maybe im just feeling particularly apathetic right now.

i don't really draw anything right now. i dont know if i can go back. it was my only hobby, yet my therapist said that it wasnt enough, even when i was at my lowest. well, at the time. ive set a new low score at this point. i dont want to draw. i don't know what id draw. i dont think i can. my computer is kinda a no mans land at this point. i don't really touch it anymore. im glad you liked sky though. i never understood why she garnered so much attention. i could never write a good enough character for her. she was a mary sue in that way, with no real character flaws, let alone the... everything else. either way, like i said, im glad you liked her regardless. it means a lot. the attention i got because of her made me really happy.

like i said, im not really into anything right now, but i guess tensura would be regarded as an "interest." im... looking forward to season 3. i read one of the light novels thats going to be adapted a month or two back though, so i guess its gonna be a moment before i get to "new" content.

i dont know if theres anyone to get to know anymore. i was already in a depressive episode before this disaster, now i dont know if theres any going back, if theres any way to recover. it isnt a weird message to send, and its appreciated that you care for me but. im not sure if i can trust anyone again. im not sure if i can even trust myself. even in the aftermath, the people i thought i could trust either no longer talk to me or still interact with those who hurt me. i guess its selfish to ask them to cut off those friends too. but ive always been selfish. self centered. egotistical.

regardless, im glad i had some positive impact despite my mess of a personality. thank you for your words

[ungurl]

this is more reiteration of things already stated put into one place than a meta bc shalem brainrot + wilde's salome is still marinating in my brain. take everything i say w a grain of salt especially towards the end bc im an idiot

the relation of shalem being assigned the role of "modest and gentle" and his “disobedience” to the troupe gnaws at my brain sometimes because its like? was it truly his choice or had he played a gentle persona for so long he could no longer stray from it even if ordered?

'You are the children of the arts. Now you may rest well.'

So the old butler promised, and so Shalem believed.

Soon after, his life became a play.

Modest and gentle was the label the troupe gave to Shalem, and ever since then, it has become his 'true personality.'

it's basically all that his operator record (the play that was) is centered on—self and agency.

it shines a light to his explanation from his, iris, & melantha's monthly squad convo that i'd wondered about when i first read it:

The performers were puppets to the roles. The roles chose the program, impromptu.

So naturally, nothing needed to be written.

(realizing how personal this explanation actually is kinda makes me wonder what phantom's take on this might be)

this same sentiment is referenced in his op record. his act of "mercy" is referred to as a "docile performance," (though i do personally think it was a true act of mercy that shalem himself chose to do that over time became muddled and seen by shalem as an attempt at agency. i think this for cheeseball reasons more on this later)

going back to that act of mercy, i find the shades of raol in shalem's character interesting (i am going solely by the 2004 movie dont stone me pls). a childhood friend to a great singer who he attempts (? again going off the movie raol kinda didnt do shit but) to save + this line & the common idea that phantom likely didnt actually know shalem personally whereas shalem knew of the blood diamond as a looming ideal.

in the end despite raol kinda doing an awful job at it, his attempt to save christine plays a part in allowing christine to walk out of that tragedy because he showed her an alternative—showed her there was another choice, another way to live, much like how a lot of people percieve shalem having allowed lucian a glimpse of another way living when he followed shalem onto the landship.

thats why i think shalem's choice of saving is his own, whether then as abyss with the sad man or as shalem bringing lucian back to rhodes. maybe im just being optimistic bc i like him but i think its what will save shalem in the end too.

[munamania]

oh my god you know what i AM so glad im not attracted to men thank god im sick and tired holy shit. this was going to just be a stupid reactionary post on my silly little tumblr blog bc ive seen stupid posts like ':( maybe in another life i like men' and like we are NEVER getting out of here! and now i need to be like oh oop hangon everyone i for sure dont mean every man and also by the way i promise i am not trans exclusionary and also i really do promise i can wrap my brain around intersectionality in case you got a wild sense of ignorance from me saying im SICK AND FUCKING TIRED of everything being about men. you cant not think about them. ever. girls around you are going to base their entire personalities and identities and sense of self around attention and attraction to men and youre going to be made to feel rude if you dont go along with that being so #slay #girlboss #feminism. and honestly if we're fucking talking about it maybe i am glad not to deal with people who are socialized to think it's gay to care about hygiene and so dont wipe their asses or wash their hands maybe im simply so relieved to not have to deal with that and to have a partner that doesnt have to be taught to like and care about me and/or babied and mothered etc. jesus fucking christ holy shit. i want that for every woman but this is abt me rn and really many people whether they realize it or not ARE hostile to dykes!!!!!! and it sucks so incredibly hard to be around you!!!!! you people dont make a single effort to not talk about men or center every conversation around them, at best, and at worst, youre constantly fucking making lesbianism sound MISERABLE. it's not! it's really not. except well it is because everybody just cannot fucking exist without making it about a man or how they feel about not liking men or whatever goddamn tragedy idefk. this is clearly going to be nonsensical by the time i post it but holy fuck! shut the fuck up! the state of feminism rn is in genuine shambles ashes dust in the wind never coming back to save us.

[scarrletmoon]

im not trying to start shit so im not tagging this but i'm just thinking about ed/izzy and how it doesn't make sense

like. izzy feels like the shitty ex who's convinced you that no one else gets you and no one ever will, so as uncomfortable as you feel with him, as much as it feels like you're missing something, you don't know exactly WHAT you're missing. plus, you've never had a relationship that's lasted as long as this one, and everyone says relationships are hard work. so maybe this IS what you deserve. at the end of the day, yeah he's an angry little fucker but he's loyal. you know he'll always have your back bc he's dedicated like no one else. and what's a relationship if not respect and loyalty?

except izzy has a very concrete but wrong idea of who ed is. he wants ed to fit a certain mould, which has severely stunted ed's growth and made him miserable.

i get ed/izzy as like, a terrible toxic relationship where two people stay together bc they think they have no one else -- izzy clings to ed bc blackbeard represents everything he wants to be as a man, ed stays with izzy bc he's useful and like, look at the poor guy, you can't just ditch him after 20 years. ed's not HEARTLESS. izzy's good, deep down.

deep, deep down

but then you see how stede immediately sees the best in ed, knows that ed can do better. stede brings out the softer parts that ed's been unable to access for years, doesn't shame him for not being a paragon of manliness or whatever. ed is HAPPY with stede.

and like, stede is a BITCH. he's selfish, obnoxious, shamelessly grandiose and loves being the center of attention, will happily ignore other people's needs to serve his own and also somehow has such terrible self esteem that he thinks he doesn't actually matter at the end of the day

but stede CARES. he never tries to really change anyone to fit an image he approves of. he doesn't go out of his way to harm anyone unless they've harmed him or someone he loves. his loyalty isn't conditional; when he loves ed, he loves him exactly as he is. and i think the reason why he dislikes Jack so much is bc jack turns him into this dumb frat boy who doesn't think for himself and he knows ed is better than that. ed reads it as judgement bc that's all he's ever gotten from others. but stede means it as "there is so much good in you already" rather than "i wish you would change into a shape i approve of"

so like. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK ED WOULD BE HAPPIER WITH IZZY. ed isn't even romantically attracted to izzy? izzy clearly, obviously, is HOPELESSLY in love with ed. but it's worse for both of them if they stay together, as friends or romantic partners. if they stay together, they stagnate. apart, ed can flourish. idk about izzy but maybe he'd be less of a cunt if he loosened his sphincter and learned that he doesn't ACTUALLY have to control everything in his sight

i get relating to izzy as someone who's been in love with someone who'll never love them back, but like. i'm sorry. im so sorry. but you should think better of yourself than izzy. you don't have to be miserable, and part of finding your own happiness might involve leaving the person you've been in love with for years who's never going to give you what you need

not saying you can't like the little gremlin but i'm just very confused about people who impart this softness onto him that doesn't actually exist, and won't exist until he exhibits some desire to change as a person

anyway if anyone comes to this post or my inbox cussing me out for this, im just blocking on sight bc i'm not fighting with izzy fans again who'd rather be cruel than either engage respectfully or just ignore me

if you dont like what i have to say, the block button is literally!! right there!!

[im-smart-i-swear]

tfw youre trying to reconsile with your estranged '''''twin''''''' after months of avoiding each other (their fault)(they were a dick to you)(and shot you) but they just cant stop making it weird & about how theyre a terrible person

i think these twos relationship is very interesting. at the begenning buddy treated kuro like shit bc they were projecting their self-hate and guilt on him, also exasparated by them being technically twins. later kuro moved out bc of that and the two of them didnt see each other again for months.

when they met again buddy apologised but they didnt really form any deep relationship. they are both uncomfortable with each others presence due to how their relationship started & the imposed familial status that neither of them feels good about.

buddy feels guilty for how they treated kuro, they are also aware that this is just another failure in a long line of their failures. they know they fucked up, theyre used to that feeling at this point, and they simply accept that fact. theyre sorta weirdly apathetic about the whole thing when meeting kuro again - they made peace with what theyve done wrong and are just trying to do damage control atp.

basically they said 'i know what i did to you was fucked up and im sorry. i have a history of fucking things up and i did it again. im trying to be better and i fail time and time again but i will try again anyway, even if theres a huge possibility ill just mess up again. im trying to set things right and ill disappear from your life if thats what you want. you dont have to forgive me or like me. im sorry' (<-also notice how this apology is still sorta centered around how bad of a person bud is and not what they put kuro through. buds self-loathing is still shining through here even as they are trying to set things straight. in their effort to try and explain their thought process they accidentally focused on the wrong thing!!!! they dont really mean it that way but to kuro thats what it comes off as)

kuro used to hate or at least heavily dislike bud for a long time and thinks theyre a self centered asshole and also just plainly annoying. even the apology he got from them after months of radio silence on both ends didnt feel like enough to him. it felt like buddy was just using the apology as an opportunity to say 'im a bad person. sorry for that lol it will propably happen again, do with this info what you will'. it pisses him off a bit and he propably yells at buddy for it, who is very apologetic and just takes it, which just pisses kuro even more bc he WANTS a confrontation, hes angry and hurt and is airing out his frustrations at bud and he wants a reaction but he gets none. buddy knows very well what they did and are treating this as a sort of righteus punishment

so overall. i think their relationship is just kinda like this for a few years - long periods of avoiding each other interspersed with a few outbursts (sometimes kuro starts and sometimes bud does). after a few more years i feel like things might start being better, but thats only bc they both gradually grow as people sepeartely, which just has the side effect of making them both more chill. maaaaybe after a decade or two the animosity stops and they become friendly with each other but i dont rlly think they ever get to Twin Level Closeness. at that point both of them have their own fullfilling lives and are fine with things as they are

...or maybe not. idk man im still working shit out so this might all change and in a few months this whole rant will be ooc and innacurate, who knows! i certainly dont

(Also the doodle at the top isn't meant to portray The Apology itself, its just a little scene i thought was neat, dunno where exactly it (or if it even) falls on Da Timeline)

[fluffypotatey]

Pounding my fist on the floor, 1) you KNOW most of tumblr is going to be obsessed with Macky’s stage voice. He’d be an icon for it, YouTube commercials want him voice acting for them and video game trailers like Nevercake. 2) Hilarious how Macky was all LMAO you thought you were the other guy? And how we’re all ruffled over fandom reading wrong, and then Macky gets to experience ALL of that he didn’t intend with fanonizing The Fool. Sorry bud, welcome to fandom! Also bro really thought these Swk moments would prove something and were important enough to include- 3) the mortifying ordeal of Swk talking to you but also complimenting you then insulting you and offering to collab?? 4) oh my gosh not the voice actor theories Mackey is insane, like we been knew how extra he is for the bit but if fandom caught a whiff of that things can go wildly controversial conspiracy for him, stuff like how he’s treating the voice actors/paying/crediting them properly, linking to socials, etc (but if he ever exposes the voices as done by himself they would explode) 5) Wukong persona ship reminds me of the Onceler x himself ship thing tumblr had going on. 6) Macky hears of shipping discourse and wonders what the heck is up with package delivery. 7) Stop that question is so funny, I’m going “Aw lol” at them defending their favorite silly guy but real, going mad with power XD on his way to making the next Antigone (Greek play the terrifyingly large classics fandom on tumblr calls the blueprint for tragedy, we lost a war to them and it resulted in a crack ship because fandoms are that crazy) if fandom is that picky about the tragedy. 8) the memes about Macky and PLS I’m crying this is so funny I’m gonna sob that’s his comfort character!! His self insert blorbo you’re so right he is that author who WILL complain that the curtains were blue for a reason! Literature students hate him and teachers are vindicated! You gotta interpret it correctly hahaha, this kind of behavior would baffle anyone from a whole grown man (his ass does NOT have a degree in the performing arts) didn’t go to school at all, can’t even pay his taxes don’t even got his own house he lives in Swk’s walls. But rlly being protective about who can relate to your comfort character is like, mentally ill tween behavior he gonna be under so much scrutiny

Bestie they would be on him like fucking vultures (get it? because he’s dea—)

he doesn’t get why the fandom is misinterpreting his work. like why are they focusing on some star and cloud when the real themes are centered on the sun and moon like that is his motif, how are they able to be so wrong—

ngl i dont think i would react any differently if i was in Macky’s shoes and my ex/enemy/the guy you wanna kill is gushing about your artwork while giving you a compliment sandwich and WHY IS HE ASKING TO COLLAB WHAT IS HAPPENING????

new video essay just dropped: ISPP’s creator is problematic actually and benefits off of employee abuse (followed by another essay in Macky’s defense and the concept of privacy and how fandom culture has evolved into a space where the privacy and comfortability for actors and production crews is seen as a bad thing vector “deprives the fandom from X”)

yes, i too thought of the Onceler fandom and they also apply as a reference

Macky on his thought over shipping: “I know it evolved over the years and became such an efficient tool. more efficient than i ever dreamed, but i dont see how that relates to my stories???”

the power of the ISPP compels him….to what path? that’s up to him

there would be sO many memes that come after a VA Q&A like so many (“was anyone going to tell me…” and “yeah, yeah the [bombshell of the fandom] we all know that”)

Macky would struggle so, so, sO hard with ppl misinterpreting his work 😂 he is absolutely at that level where he’ll go at arms for his characters (specifically his self-inserts) and talk about how if you watched the films THIS way them MAYBE—

[dracwife]

1 & 2 for a tim drabble ; )

1. jealousy.

Jealousy was an ugly thing. When it rears its head, there is often hell to pay. And perhaps this was because of the blinding fuel that jealousy gives. They say heaven has no rage like love turned to hatred, that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Or a man, maybe. Perhaps in this case, a man sitting so silently at his desk, eyes trained across the room, just like he had been the past ten minutes, as another talked, laughed, leaned onto whoever that was besides him.

And for a second, Tim almost felt bad about being so upset by the sight of Mickey having fun. Really, he had no right to, right? His fingers fumbled over his keyboard, and envy turned to anxiety as he lost focus on whatever he was typing.

I mean, they weren't really serious. It was only two dates. And five lunch meetings. Those didn't count though, right? It wasn't serious. And he had no right to be so upset by the way Mickey smiled at that other guy by the elevator. The way their conversation seemed to flow like they'd known each other forever, the way he so effortlessly held Mickey's attention. The way Mickey looked at him like he was the center of the universe and -- did his eyes just flicker to that man's mouth?

Tim wished that if only Mickey had looked at him like that...No, what was he thinking?

It wasn't like him to be jealous, it really wasn't. And he wasn't jealous. Not anymore. Now he just felt upset. Inferior. Some sort of self-consciousness. Perhaps he was too boring for someone so -- so...Exciting. And therefore, he had no right to be jealous...Right?

2. hurt/comfort.

He was laughing at him. Tim poured his heart out to Mickey, and now...He was laughing at him. It stung almost as bad as when Mickey had walked back to his desk that afternoon, with a dreamy sigh and a "Have you met Julian from HR? I could talk to him for hours." Or at least, that's what Tim thought he'd said. He couldn't quite remember, because he was too focused on getting up and leaving.

And maybe the way he mumbled something like, "Yeah, I guess he's more your type anyways," wasn't the smartest thing to do, nor was running away to hide in the interrogation observation room.

It was definitely, absolutely not smart -- no, probably just downright stupid, actually -- to wait until Mickey found him there, and asked what was wrong. And even stupider probably to pour out his insecurities to him then and there, admit his jealousy, admit how dumb he thought it was,

"And I really, really like you. And I know I shouldn't be jealous, because I don't have any reason to be. Because we're not together. But I really, really think I'd like us to be. But I know it won't happen. Because you're so...You, and I'm so...Not. And you deserve someone more like you, not me, because -- because I guess I'm just too boring. And strange, and geeky and...Just not cool. And that sounds so stupid because we're not in high school anymore, but you deserve someone that can keep up with you. And that's just not me. I mean, you're not just out of my league, you're -- you're playing a whole different game."

And Mickey stood there. And laughed. Was -- is laughing, still. And Tim doesn't know how to feel, besides even more upset.

But Mickey looks at those puppydog eyes he's wearing, the way he's pouting, and laughs harder.

"You think too much of me."

"No," Tim argues, and he argues like the way a child would, "I dont."

"...You think too little of yourself, then."

Mickey smiles again. Amused, more than anything at the way Tim wore jealousy in such an adorable fashion, and for that his hands come to rest against that same man's cheeks, which burn with embarrassment and anxiety and perhaps a tinge of anger. And he pulls him down and kisses him, right there in the middle of observation.

"I really, really like you too, Tim."

[davekat-sucks]

You want good homestuck ships? Really honestly and truly? Look at the early ships. Look at JohnDave, DaveRose, DaveJade, JohnJade, JadeRose, JohnRose. Sure its friends to lovers, which is a trope. But its a trope for a reason because it happens in real life all of the time. You become friends with your S/O especially around childhood and that friendship grows into romantic feelings. Yes its overdone, but at least when you go this pathway, you have literal evidence for their relationship developing. I dont even LIKE JohnDave, and I could be convinced that they actually had romantic feelings for each other if you showed me the right pesterlogs. I cannot imagine DaveKat. Like I just cant see how these two would end up in a relationship together, they dont even look or act like they even like each other and things like that laundry room kiss seem extremely forced, Davekat is together because the narrative simply wills it and not through natural character progression. Dont want to start with a relationship already established? Thats fine, have characters meet for the first time and develop over time. Early Rosemary, Spiderbreath, DaveRezi, JadeKat. The Patron troll ships were interesting because both parties had to talk and learn about each other and gradually form a relationship. Early Rosemary was actually goddamn readable and you could feasibly see this badass witch that wanted to break all the rules of sburb fall in love with this incessant mom friend. The pieces were all there, they were just put together wrong. I mean, fuck my mans John "Goddamn Chad" Egbert is out here with a harem of potential pairings, that he actually developed organically. Sure, he was already friends with Jade and Rose. But what about Vriska, or Terezi or Roxy? Each of these girls were given a fair chunk of screentime for John to get to know each of them and they him. I mean, fuck, you could even argue he has a better relationship with Karkat then Dave does, because I can believe that John actually LIKES Karkat (Im not a homosexual conversation aside) The ships that were never meant to be have more believe ability, more evidence and are quite frankly much more fun then the canon borefests we ended up with. And when they intentionally try to write the ship out, its some of the worst writing Hussie has ever done, but when he doesnt give a shit, its some of the best.

Everything you say here does ring true all the way. Preach it!

Especially John Gigachad Egbert. Fuck fans who call him boring. He is the true main character.

Ships centered around only just the human kids are the best. Beta Kids should have been the main focus of the Homestuck series. Trolls were a fucking mistake, as the saying goes. Maybe Hussie had intentions of making a canon couple for a few in the early acts. Such as Dave and Jade getting closer, if only because Dave is just another partial self-insert of himself and rumors that Jade was based on someone Hussie knew and had a crush on. I say the writing for that romance were at least tame compared to the shitfest we got now.

[narwhalandchill]

uhhh anyway. so like yesterday was my first time ever doing story day 1 and i have many Thoughts about the AQ. mostly positive unfortunately my major gripes do relate to the childe/narwhal situation which kinda dampens the overall experience more than any other part being underwhelming would given (gestures in general direction of self). like we all know the multitude of diseases i have on the subject 💀

dunno how much of a complete nonsense rambley writeup thisll be i think i might take some time to sort out my overall thoughts and write sth more coherent specifically on childe/narwhal stuff, maybe leave out some other aspects i have more pointed thoughts on as well so this wont get mega long but eh lets see. this just all kinds of thoughts i have for now And its a mess so Beware

anyway. firstly. as scarred as i am by melus and silver. Its also just. holy shit man theyre truly just straight up tapdancing on teppeis grave like THIS is how you write NPC deaths in an actually emotionally impactful way. dunyarzad was a massive glow up already in terms of NPC writing in general but she didnt die so. but like the way their characters and bond to both callas and navia is built up and how the writers actually managed to make them feel like such dynamic people even if their roles are ultimately quite straightforward made their fates just... genuinely heartbreaking like what the fuck 😭😭😭 AND THE WAY THEY STILL SAVED NAVIA FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE AND SAID THEIR FAREWELLS I JUST. I CANT. i just teared up thinking about it again

idk what could be said about navia that hasnt been said a gigabillion times before like. Wow. she is just. Truly the moment. like she fucking blindsided my ass in 4.0 bc i wasnt expecting anything like how dynamic and compelling and complex her arc and characterization has been like. everything about navia her resolve her grit her experiences and her bravery and stubbornness just feels so incredibly human and raw and she is just? a wonderful character i never foresaw falling in love with her this much like truly. and she delivered JUST as hard in 4.2 too like if it werent for navia being the conduit through which we first experience the devastation of poisson i dont think it wouldve ever hit as hard as it did. i just wanna comfort her shes already been thru so much yet i also admire her insistence to keep going and keep living like man 😭😭😭 give her a happy story quest hoyo idgaf if it gets called shallow or some bs she deserves a break!!!!!

i think some ppl are disappointed by arles relative lack of presence in fontaine overall and while i get that i can genuinely say that its been so fucking refreshing to have an AQ centering on a conflict thats not entirely or mostly fatui based. its not like the weight or intimidation factor of arlecchinos presence has been any lesser just bc shes been largely on the same side as us. like personally i just Really enjoyed seeing her characterization throughout. the way shes been just so reasonable thus far makes me extra excited for whenever she might actually snap (at least hopefully she will). like both childe and scara think shes fucking insane?????? but yea. i also really enjoy arles dynamic with the HoH kids too like. i do think she genuinely cares for them in a way but i highly doubt thats all there is to it. and thats really neat. goes for things like her help to spina di rosula and poisson too; theres definitely strings attached to that aid lmao. even if arle has no particularly malicious designs in mind, shes a harbinger. like cmon. and i really like that!!

i dont have like. that extensive thoughts abt what i call the . uhhh. this is mean but extended cast of act 5 JKJKDWJKDJKAJK like HoH gang, clorinde, sigewinne, wrio. tho i do very much appreciate that clorinde dodged the sara allegations for good like. it was looking a little bit unfortunate in 4.0. her role wasnt super major but i love her english VA and this kind of grounded sort of character she ultimately is. also sigewinne jumpscare during furinas trial i love her so much.

mona n nicoles thing was unfortunately mostly a whateverburger for me bc. im sorry im not that interested in hexenzirkel lmao i feel like such an outlier in any lore discussion circles bc im just not that hype about them (gold is an icon however) idk why. it was neat, it happened, didnt bring any mega hype. what i liked the most was honestly just the talk with mona about destiny and fighting against it and all. she really felt like a friend trying to help us navigate our thoughts on this insane horrible situation going on!!

in terms of plot things uhhh i went in mostly blind? as to the actual events. i had spoiled myself a bit on some specific aspects (my own fault) but ultimately most had no effect on how much i enjoyed everything. also lowering my expectations on the. ahem. worries i had abt childe that unfortunately came true so i was less let down on the spot wjjkajkwdjkwd. my biggest issue was actually that i had to progress lyneys story quest TWO FUCKING TIMES by a pretty notable amount bc it was blocking locations. and that dumbass office drama world quest like i was morbing.

a particular standout moment (beyond the Obvious. i need not name it THE LAUGH THE FUCKING THUMBS DOWN also singed FL can kinda lowkey 100% absolutely get it) for me was when i was so invested in our conversation with furina in poisson and in the magic box that i actually fucking forgor about the whole trap scheme thing even existing and then the box fell open and i was like WAIT WHAT THE FUCK and started laughing for like a solid 5 minutes i was caught so off guard. what an incredible moment. bc like. when the thing we were hiding in w furina started shaking i was just hell yeah narwhal modcheck? narwhal modcheck? bc obviously i would. and didnt question for a second that it could be something else. like the trap we were LITERALLY plotting to set up just a bit earlier it actually killed me. altho the fact that one of the cursed lyney quest situations were in between the scheming scene and the poisson segment prolly had to do with it. anyway it was just really funny

i think this post is gonna take me 287382 years to finish if im gonna go into the like furina character arc situation and her trial and focalors and all that shit super in depth (+ narwhal/skirk things) but like. BELIEVE me i fucking loved it so much like its so awful and painful and horrible and just. best written archon easily. zhongli n venti i think r very well written but theyre p static characters bc oldies so its a bit different. raiden is. inazuma moment no comment needed. nahida is good but tbh i never truly reconciled with the way rukkha getting irminsuled sorta just erased the central conflict behind her inferiority complex so it somewhat ruined her character arc for me even if it did make me cry and i do love her chara overall. but furina i think they executed the whole setup and reveals and everything so incredibly well its insane like. god. 500 years........ and like. the way furinas arc just flops everything uve known about her and the interactions uve had with her sideways and turns it upside down realizing the predicament shes been in and what shes been grappling with. its just incredible man. harrowing but incredible like they truly delivered on that one. like that portion of the finale was just really well done

anyway not all thoughts i have by any means but whatever. ive just been Thinking. overall had a great time with the AQ n cutscenes in particular are only getting better and better, i thiiiiink this one tops sumeru for me? but like its sorta unfair bc i was never a scara stan whereas. even a narratively mishandled narwhal is a fucking world-devouring narwhal. unfair advantage. childe being there at all even if i have my gripes is too much points in favor KJWJKWJKDWDJKJK. theres things that make me really hopeful for the future writing but also things that concern me. so its an interesting situation rn. but im glad it went as ambitious as it did even if my fave got arguably sidelined the most. just hoping they actually do sth more with childe sooner than later if they want to leave all those loose ends unaddressed in 4.2. interlude rights PLEASE

[littlebugs]

my personal outer banks rant (character based) A/N: i have absolutely nothing against the actors of the show, this is just my full on review of outer banks and it's characters (i loveee the show so much tho, can't wait for obx 3!!!!)

see my site! https://littlebugs.tumblr.com/

jj maybanks obviously i had to start with jj.... this man has some serious trauma but somehow the series almost manages to play it off? i feel like there are a few key moments in the series but you don't really see his character getting a lot of sympathy from the other characters except for whenever it just manages to come up (sic the hot tub scene). also this man is straight up gorgeous MWAH! cut like a diamond, and he has that beach boy vibe. favorite vanilla boy in this series.

john b john b has an interesting personality and tbh it confuses me sometimes. maybe it's because his actor is like way old to play a 16-17 year old, he has this air of an adult while like doing stupid stuff, and he looks like an adult as well. he also got... married. not legally, but he got married. and honestly hes been through so much i don't even blame him- man just wants something stable in his life.

sarah cameron to be honest about her... i dont hate her! i though sarah might be stuck up in her old ways but she actually is quite a "go w/ the flow" girl. but home girl looses her dad (for a short time anyways) literally watched him die with leads to like a huge amount of trauma, has her brother attempt to murder her (yikes) and is on the run from police after being framed an accomplice in murder? not to mention getting kidnpped by her dad who turns out to be alive... i kinda forgive her for any rash actions because she arguably has one of the hardest times in the series.

kiarra carrera im sorry. I HATE IT. kiarra is a privileged girl who decides to run with underprivileged guys. i have not problem with that whatsoever! the problem is that now from hanging out with them, she calls herself one of them. you can't just think that (almost) poverty is easy peasy. yeah it's fun to hang out with the pouges, but at the end of the day she goes home to a warm house with food and a bed. people like jj and possibly john b might not have food in the house. she calls herself one of "them" but shes truly just glorifying the lifestyle and taking the advantages. not to mention her unstable relationship with pope who actually likes her. shes incredibly self centered and unaware and I HATE IT.

pope heyward POPE! i love popes rational thinking skills, hes one of my favorite characters. he rlly cares for his friends, but he also wants to have a future, unlike some of the other pouges who seems to be just lounging around. he works hard, and then works harder. he is probably one of the most underrated characters in obx. there is also something just so aesthetically pleasing about his voice it's crazy. pope arguabbly has a better home than most of the charecters with a mother and father who care bout him, but what hurts is when he runs away from them with his friends (i know he comes back, but the looks in his dads face almost made me cry istg).

rafe cameron ok... controversial character alarm!!! a lot of people like rafe but i can't understand it! yes rafe is... very handsome. yes rafe is.... also probably a psychopath. rafe definitely has something physiologically going on, and it seems like his family isn't intent on getting him help. rose cameron even says rafe has been like this since eleven. eleven!!! and they still haven;t helped him... sounds like it's getting worse to me. that may also be the reason rafe seems to fall into drugs more than any other character- it might - per say - let him escape his mind. all in all mr. rafe cameron needs some serious help and i would love to see if he has a healing process in season 3

ward cameron i do not like this man. not at all. he seems to completely ignore wheezie, honestly poor wheezie (we'll dig deeper later), he lets one of his children kill someone for him, and the other framed for the murder, murders people, marries rose (a mistake on his part because shes def toxic), and puts his children through immense trauma by killing himself and coming back to life. he also kidnaps people and blames the people HE murdered on some poor 17 year old. i can't.

topper to be honest i kinda like topper. topper is yes, a white, cis, straight male, but aren't rafe and jj? he is rlly respectful to be honest. he friends and some of the other kooks on figure eight are kind of jerks, but topper seems to be nicer. despite pushing john b of a tree or something he hasn't done anything wrong. he literately gets broken up with by sarah and WILL STILL risk himself for her. he also tells her he will never stop loving her, but gives up on the chase because hse doesn't want him. this man has a very very decent amount of respect and i adore him.

wheezie oh my god this poor kid. she's what 12 or 13? so uhm... i dont even know where to start. ok so her dad is a crazy murderer who scars her for life. her brother is also a murderer. her sister has been framed for murder. her mother is an accomplice in wards murder..... ugh. just let me whisk poor wheezie away and adopt her. also like ward does not seem to care about wheezie he speaks to her like 10 times -_- its crazzzy. i hope she turns out okay and honestly i would like to see some more wheezie character development.

carla limbrey poor carla. shes a jerk, but i feel bad. kinda. girl was dying and just wanted a cure, something to hold onto. she didn't have any sinister intentions, but it kinda turned evil because of her overwhelming urge for this cross and garment.. and omg renfield you jerk i hate him.

anyways this took an hour give or take so i hope you liked it!

[taromilksnake]

2:04am

fuck it, complaint time:

thoughtless @ my deadname

misgender my friend

after all that, STILL NOT GIVING ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT ME

disinterest in my work

disinterest in hearing about my work

disinterest/inability in talking about THEIR work

disinterest in talking about their past

disinterest in expanding past their hometown

weird awkward reassurances without sincere vulnerability

apologizes without clarity

disinterest/inability to follow my line of thought

seemingly ignores my words and actions and just seeks approval (eg feedback on their work)

just—have very little interesting things to say outside of agreeing with me and literally parroting my words

inability to relax and be supportive of my passion in arts

tells me they’re not interested in hearing about my art because it “ruins the experience,” but then having nothing interesting to say about the work anyway!! basically shit at talking about their own thoughts AND hearing mine!!

misreading characters, but also not sticking to their viewpoint

LACKING EMOTIONAL AWARENESS. BRO I DONT KNOW THE POKÉMON AND I CARE LESS BY THE SECOND. JUST TELL ME.

THEY SAY IT HAS EMOTIONAL SIGNIFICANCE AND THEN. DOES NOT ELABORATE FURTHER!!! WTF IS THIS BLUEBALLING BULLSHIT

honestly their last relationship in combination with complacency with their hometown is a red flag. (along with the active disinterest in my art. which like, even acquaintances would express interest in. that’s not a red flag, it’s just a dealbreaker)

ok and like i get being intimidated by my friends but what was all the waffling about meeting my friends about??? and then to say it’s good to know i’m not getting bullied (even jokingly) is pretty insulting tbh. you don’t get to say that while you’re jealous of my friends dude

i hate that they’re apparently like, ‘it’s been 1 month, time to cryptically seek approval while saying nothing concrete about the other person” THE TIMES WEVE MET UP I CAN COUNT ON ONE HAND WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT.

honestly i think the problem is they’re insecure so they’re self-centered. like, they’re so worried about my approval that they don’t think about my feelings at all, and they don’t recognize or speak up about where they lose the thread

i honestly still don’t understand why they don’t say anything concrete about me or about art. like, is it the nerves of being in my house? why would you say something is important then not elaborate further. is it that they’re not ready to put in effort w/ their art?

not being able to put aside the intimidation around my art is a dealbreaker. esp if they consider me showing off as “flashy.” that’s just a fundamental difference in values right there. they don’t know how art has saved me and how much work it took (takes) to be proud of my work and unashamed of myself

it’s shitty behavior. it’s not fair to me. they have their reasons but theyre (ALSO) not being a good friend

…the emojis and memes are cringe

it’s kinda telling that they can’t vouch that their friends will act right tbh. like your friend reflect your judgment, and at minimum you need to be on their side

lacking attentiveness. misgendering me on initial meeting (but then misgendering my friend too!!). meeting up at mitsuwa too early w/o checking the time

completely missing the point when i was talking about bi rep. like, RIGHT after me saying i want it done right, for it to represent my experience, they say maybe they’ll casually throw in a bi character in their next work. DUDE that’s just insulting lmfao you didn’t LISTEN TO WHAT I SAID!!!! YOU JUST SAID WHAT YOU THOUGHT WOULD BE CUTE AND CHARMING!!! pisses me off

they could have asked me about my feelings toward my sexuality. or had something more interesting to say about their work so at least when they say they’ll add bi rep it’ll at least MEAN something

i want my degree of passion and emotional expenditure to be reciprocated

i want a hype man, i want to feel supported and for the other person to be excited for me

i want someone to show me they understand what i say, and care about what i say

i want someone confident in their own self enough to actively participate in decision-making

i want someone to see my love not as a threat, or competitor, or reward. i want it to be accepted and reciprocated

i want someone that can support me when i feel insecure in myself. i want to be seen as flawed person, and loved anyway

i want someone who can see facets of myself that i don’t see, and will tell me how much they love me