#I LOVE DOING COOL PROJECTS I LOVE COLLABORATIONS I LOVE THIS KINDA SHIT

[sibyl-of-space]

i have finished my song for a really cool collab project and i am STOKED about it, it is a banger if i do say so myself.

I will post more annoying shilling stuff later when I have actually put thought into how to go about doing that, but basically, me and a group of online friends are making a concept album themed around the GameBoy Advance. It should come out early 2024. My piece is inspired by "Clockwork" from Castlevania: Circle of the Moon and uses samples from performing a GBA cartridge surgery. It has the best damn bassline I've ever written and I cannot wAIT to post it. This album is so full of cool bangers I am SO SO excited about it, I can't wait to share more when I have my ducks in a row (my ducks are not in a row atm)

[bitchslapblastoids]

Let’s get some spoiler free posts on the dash! What do you love about dnp? (Be sure to tag #phan #dan and phil for the fandometrics <3)

Love this method of engineering and architecting our shared tumblr experience. Way to go anon!

Oooooooh what do I love about them oh noooooo I’m about to talk for sooooooo long.

Ok. Well part of what I love is kind of out of their control, and that’s the sprawling epic love story that has played out in this incredible hyperdocumented multimedia archive of the journey from puppy love —> real love —> guarding and protecting that love —> choosing one another consistently through stages of life —> working through incredibly hard life challenges together —> cracking open the shell encasing their love in order to share it more and more with the world. It’s just so beautiful to have witnessed. Seeing how they have grown around one another, adapting to match one another’s best traits and draw them out of eachother, god. Something special.

I love that dan is exceedingly vulnerable and open about weird, tough shit. I love that he’s really thoughtful about what he puts out into the world. Like, he cares about his contributions a lot and how he spends his precious time on this planet. It matters to him, and I appreciate that it matters.

I love that Phil is exceedingly generous in his view of others; he seems to see the light in people and the humor in hard moments and he seems to move through things with kindness and grace. He also projects such a secure sense of self. He knows who he is, what works for him, and he isn’t interested in pretending to be anything else.

I think they’re both really superb examples of living with mental illness. Phil is socially anxious and health anxious as all shit, but look at him!!! Look! At! Him! Dan manages chronic depression along with a whole fuckload of trauma, and look at him!!

They don’t mask much (I don’t think?), they’re just wonderfully, openly weird and celebrate their quirks. They candidly speak about their mental health shit but don’t let it stop them from living full, brave lives.

They are so respectful of their audience and really treat us as individual humans. They speak to us like people, they right their wrongs whenever possible, they have a brilliant ability to draw their audience into their content, they make people feel seen, they build so much creative work around what the audience gives them, and it’s really fucking cool how innate that has been for them from the start. They also just get it. They get internet culture, they get their fan base, and we’re lucky that they get it.

I think they’re so funny and are at their funniest when they aren’t trying too hard. Their banter is hilarious. The fainting during haircut story?? “I thought you were doing a little dance!” Dan’s hammock bracelet story?? “I was squinged up like a locust, like an accordion.” so funny!!!! They are so funny.

They have really taken the high road throughout their careers. They don’t talk shit, they stay out of drama, they treat others with decency and kindness, and they seem to be wonderful bosses too (such a good trait). When there have been endless opportunities for them to get dragged into pettiness or rightfully snap back at people, they have handled themselves with such grace

They understand the gravity of having influence. Despite obviously gunning for internet careers, they didn’t necessarily choose to have a significant influence on loads of young people, much like how most digital stars didn’t go into making digital content considering how much responsibility comes with a huge audience. It’s something I think kinda smacks a lot of people over the head as a sudden realization once their audience grows large enough. Some people then rise to that occasion and others don’t. Dan and Phil did.

They model creativity, kindness, collaboration, inclusivity, bravery, not taking yourself too seriously, self-growth and self love. It’s beautiful. All jokes aside, they are not terrible influences whatsoever. Look at the fan base they’ve cultivated! People found a home in them.

Also, they are hot.

[vonkarma2]

also 1, 4, 5, 17 for the lupe vera estrella world - if it's fleshed out enough and you want to

So ahead of time this is a collaborative project with me, @lycanthrology and @thebourneultimatum <3 so Im going to be mostly describing my contributions because idk exactly what they were thinking or going for at all times but like I’ll probably reference lore that was their idea as well yk. credit to the people who made this movie <3

1.) how would you describe the world your story takes place in?

It sucks. Well it’s not so bad but it kind of is. It’s like close to modern technology, like some things are slightly futuristic and some are kind of outdated. There’s like a lot of high fantasy elements I guess I should have said that it’s mostly high fantasy first. The focus is on these 3 countries, 2 of which are at war with each other and then the third one joins later. All of them are kind of bleak in their own way lol 

region 5: a country with a mostly forgotten but extremely history, the ghost of which still haunts the people to this day. A lot of people particularly the country’s nobility tend to romanticize it, including after the war starts, but the reality on the ground is very different to what the propaganda + genuine opinions of those in power would have you believe (somewhat of a running theme lol). it’s like an eastern european type country with that kinda climate and everything. they used to be more religious in the past but now the population is generally more removed from that kind of thing. in their mythology their god is straight up dead anyway. it’s almost always cloudy overhead so the sun has a lot of significance whenever you do get to see it 

straesia: Once (like until like a few months ago) a very powerful and prosperous empire, lots of like cool high fantasy buildings and etc, but due to some internal political sabotage the country is now fucked. they started a war with region 5 thinking they could easily win. they did not easily win and now large parts of the country are being destroyed + overall the patriotism and idealism that used to be very common there is fading. culture overall like somewhat militaristic + etc. aesthetically it’s like very high fantasy but like now crumbling and all it’s very soulsborne. some interesting fun facts are that straesian armor is made to mimic the appearance of various wild animals in its design + some native straesians have sharp incisors

del maia: Supposed to be nice and pleasant and like on the surface it’s very colorful, very sunny, there’s a lot of islands (there’s a mainland and then an archipelago). It’s not like. Tropical it has a Southern European climate. Unfortunately there is also the presence of extreme violence basically out in the open for a variety of reasons it’s like ok. There used to be a monarchy and a royal family and etc but they were losing power in recent years in favor of various merchant families/companies that had an increasing hold over the country’s economy, especially bc they had better international relations and this country relied a lot on trade. So there was a sort of revolution + they got rid of the monarchy and replaced it with this kind of capitalistic oligarchy instead. It is just as bad as before if not worse because a lot of the people are pretty incompetent and also actively sabotaging each other so as to be the only one at the top. It’s like succession but with more colorful outfits

there’s some more details I could mention but that’s already getting pretty long lol :P

I love how it is extremely obvious who made which country. (Didn’t mean to say disproportionately more abt mine it’s just easier to like make shit up yk? Bc I don’t have to worry abt getting the details wrong) I am trying not to be too repetitive with mine like one of the main cities I’ve talked abt in Zeolan in the main ocs cinematic universe is pretty similar to the general aesthetic to this country. Like they have wizards (sort of. maybe I should call them something other than wizards) that work for the government too. The flavor is different on them though ok Im sincerely committed to this project any similarities are mere coincidence ok next question lol

4.) what would you say is the message, if there is one.

I think there are several I guess in the vaguest most general sense it’s like war is bad type stuff. There’s also capitalism is bad. Politicians are fucked and those in power don’t care about normal people. Pretty standard stuff but it’s in there <3 theres definitely some other elements too but I don’t want to speak for everyone else yk like what ideas they were trying to include. I would say those are like the main ones though 

5.) pick a theme song for the tv adaptation.

This is so much pressure ok um. Gun to my head Snakes and Martyrs by Tv on the Radio. It has nothing to do with the subject matter whatsoever it’s just the song I happened to be listening to most recently that’s remotely similar to the vibe. I think so far though there are definitely some commonalities with the tone + themes the 3 countries do each have different flavoring so like it’s hard to find a sound that works for all of them yk? 

17.) describe the "required reading" to understand your vision. be as pretentious as possible.

game of thrones

werewolf story extended lore. actually all of our ocs extended lore

breaking bad

dark souls bloodborne + elden ring

there’s this one fan fiction of ok I know how that sounds. It’s good ok. it’s about baron zemo yes from mcu movies stay with me. it’s basically completely original because it takes place before the canon timeline so the author is literally just making shit up + since it’s unfinished almost nothing of it has anything to do with canon mcu events at all. it’s like original fiction at that point it’s good though it is 

succession probably none of us have seen it

ive been thinking six of crows throughout idk if anyone else is 

sundown 2020 B)

every awards bait war is bad movie 

there’s some other things for sure but I forgot abt them so that’s it for now :3

[comfiedev]

my 5 year indie developer journey

Hey, I'm Samuli, also known as Comfie and I make indie games here in the mythical land of Finland. Uhhhh, indie games are cool, yeah, hot take.

I've made a lot of games over the years and, well, as you can imagine most of them are bad, lol, which is why most of them are not available for y'all to play. Still, on my Itch.IO page you can play all of the games that are there! Some are decent, at best, but some are actually quite fun.

I started my dev journey in 2017-2018 I believe, and it took me a while to get adjusted to the tools. I didn't have a lot of prior knowledge with computers so using these grand development tools seemed impossible, but I still managed to push through that and started to development my skills.

For the first few years I had no design knowledge or anything, all I knew was how to use the engine and how to scribble on my sprite editor, which meant that I developed my interest and passion for design later in my journey.

I tried really hard to find myself as a developer, especially at first, but at some point I just stopped caring, which actually helped me understand what I enjoy about creating games, which is kinda ironical and fun. Dunno, maybe the less you care the more you develop or something, please take that with a grain of salt lmfao.

In 2020 I started to hang out in online forums and chatrooms which changed my whole view on making games, prior to that I had no connections with anyone and did everything alone. I met a lot of cool people that helped me figure out development and shit, it was very cool, I really appreciate that, thank you, you know who you are. At the same time I was introduced to twitter which showed me a whole new side of indie development, for the first time I really felt like I wasn't alone doing this.

Slowly I started to build a small following or something, a friendgroup of other devs that supported me and my work, which I love and appreciate from the bottom of my heart. From those chatrooms I met Temul, who was the first dev that I collaborated with. Our friendship was kinda odd because I had this whack-ass persona that I portrayed on those chatrooms which made for some hilarious interactions. We worked on a few projects, I still look at these times very fondly. We worked on a mini-game collection called the juicebox. Sadly most of our projects never got finished but I at least had a fun time, hope Temul feels the same way haha.

At around october of 2021 I participated in Ludum Dare 49, and made a game called Unsteady Bounce. The game feels like a monumental milestone on my journey, because it was the first game I made that used something else than janky pixelart as visuals. The game had this charcoal hand-drawn aesthetic and managed to score the 30th place in the graphics category!

After that I continued with the same aesthetic and took part in the Ludwig gamejam where I made Back to the Nest. Back to the Nest was a life changing experience because I met so many cool people through it and gained a lot of friends and peers. I honestly miss that time a lot, everyone was hanging out in this groupchat and supporting eachothers projects, it was great. I was also chosen as one of the winners of the jam, which led my game to be shown at Ludwig's stream, which was a big visibility boost. Back to the Nest remains as my most played game on Itch.IO with about 10,000 plays, which is mindblowing to me.

After these two projects I started working on my largest project to-date. Moonstuck, is a colorful precision flying game, with a lot of charm and really fucking steep difficulty curve, lol. I spent 6 months on this project and well, I'm slowly becoming more accepting of the project. When I finished it and was working on it I hated it. The game had a lot of flaws in design and in development. For example I handplaced 4000- outline objects which took me 2- months of work, it was not very pleasant nor fun. Still, I appreciate the project. I got to work with a cool composer, Jaden, thanks Jaden I really appreciate you! My good friend Z from one of the early chatrooms I was in also put the game on Steam for me, for free, I know, crazy. I owe Z a lot. With all of this Moonstuck has around 30 000-40 000 plays on Steam, which still blows my mind. Moonstuck was released in the summer of 2022.

After Moonstuck I worked on multiple smaller projects. I made 3 games with my close friend Sai. Those projects had their ups and downs but working with Sai has been a blast. I also worked with a few other friends HIS, Milkman and Frog, and we made this pretty cool Tron inspired game, tho I didn't amount a lot to this game. Still was fun! Maybe I'll be able to work with them again in the future.

At some point I was introduced to Paradise and met some pretty cool peers through it. I've gotten a lot of opportunities through it and I am forever grateful for the people that wanted to invite me there. I met a very quirky and cool friendo Plant through Paradise. Me and Plant have been working on a cyclical dynamic multi-layered shmup a of late. It should be out in december of 2022 or early next year. Also been finally working on a game with my friend Jasper, who does some crazy art n stuff, we've been talking for like a year about making a game together and it feels like it's finally actually happening! I also went to my first indie dev meetup event thing in November of this year, where I met cool peeps and I'm really grateful for that. I met Perttu, Pavla and Kai there, which was really cool, we are making a nuclear winter inspired topdown exploration game together, it's going to be a blast.

As you can probably read I've been collaborating with a lot of people lately, it has been so much fun but also draining for my social battery and things, so I've decided to tackle a few games alone after this. I enjoy working with people but also solo dev has its own quirks too.

That's pretty much everything for now. Today is 21/11/2022 and uh, I just condenced my whole dev journey into this small text, kinda crazy. Ok, that's all, thanks for reading, uhh bye.

Samuli

[vitaminwaterreviews]

GOT The Beat - Stamp On It

It was good to come back to this album, I haven’t heard most of these songs since they came out, but I actually enjoyed several of them more than I did the first time around. Stamp On It remains one of the greats for me, and honestly the B-sides were generally pretty good too. I think they could’ve done a bit more here, but you can’t say that they didn’t try. These are well-produced songs, they’re performed well, they’re just a bit too similar to each other. Average of 7.3 which is maybe a bit high, but Stamp On It would probably have been a 6/10 my first time hearing it, so make of that what you will. In terms of SM girl groups as a whole, I think this album is super cool. It doesn’t sound like any of the groups we’ve heard before, maybe it leans a bit aespa, but actually it’s way more hip-hop than a lot of the stuff we’ve heard so far. The vocals are showcased really well, I enjoyed the rap sections a lot, overall I’m impressed. This isn’t an amalgamation of SM sounds, this isn’t leaning too hard into one specific sound, it really is its own thing, and I think that’s exactly what it should be.

I wasn’t totally sure whether to include this group and this album, but actually I think it would be wrong not to include it. Like, here we get SM artists from across four generations, collaborating on one project. I have heard this album before, but the only song I listen to regularly is Stamp On It – the rest of them I haven’t heard in like a year.

Stamp On It

I’m not gonna watch the music video for a few reasons. First, the music video is kinda boring. Second, the music itself is totally the focus of this song. Third, tabbing between the music video and the document is really annoying so let’s just not do that

I just love this sample, whatever it is. It took a while to grow on me but it totally did

This bass is super aespa, but the beat isn’t something I’ve really heard in SM girl groups so far. It’s like, very hip hop, which isn’t super well-represented

Tritone modulation (according to react to the k lol)

So yeah, that leads us into just how mixxpop this song is. Also, thank you so much JYP for giving us a standardized word for this style

“And now the break”

And the bridge is of course a completely different song, way more r&b

Then this part of the bridge feels like rock

It’s like if they were trying to cram Pink Tape onto one song haha, like give me entire songs out of these fragments please!

This part of the bridge is my favorite, Winter sounds so good here

And back to D-days are coming

And back to baby baby baby

And back to Stamp On It

9/10, I really do enjoy this song a lot. I had to learn to love it, but it’s such a jam now

Goddess Level

Bassy intro, horns?

Rapping, neat, I really do not remember this song at all

Now we get some singing, some synths contrasted with the saxes, heavy bass in the background

Piano here in what I presume is the pre-chorus

Holy shit the saxophone here, how did I not remember this song

“Heh heh please” lmao

This song is way more cohesive but the instrumentation is so varied, I like it a lot actually, I should add this back to my playlist

Also let’s just appreciate what a 180 these songs are, lyrically, from Step Back

Some electric guitar, there it is

Also I forgot to mention the string hits and distorted vocals in the chorus, they really are pulling out All the instrumentation options for this song

8/10

Alter Ego

These titles really do fit the group that they’re being performed by

Bassy and low so far

And now a bit higher, what is that in the background? Plucks? Like a harp or something?

Chanty chorus, okay

The post-chorus is quite fun

The vocals, as expected, do a lot of work in this song

Woahhhh the rap bridge, this bass sounds So good

I’d be interested to see the line distribution for this song, I don’t know their voices well enough to say who’s doing what, but I’m curious how they’re using say, Taeyeon and Wendy in this song

7/10, it’s fun, it’s a good song, I probably won’t add it to the playlist but it’s not bad by any means

Rose

Bassy, distorted vocal intro

And then we get super pretty vocals on the “Rose”

If this song is a rose, it’s a thorny one, I’m getting way more “uncomfy” than “beautiful”

Very aespa, in terms of feel if not genre

2:30 is wtf, I think I like this?

Okay but the rap bridges on this album are excellent

I’m kind of confused how to feel about this album in general tbh. I feel like I could learn to love these songs more than I currently like them

7/10

Outlaw

Ooh, a proper trap song? That’s a first if true

Guess not, getting more synthy and dancey

This chorus is trying so hard to be 4minute

Woahhhhhh these vocals in the second verse

Another song I wanna see a line distribution for

Wikipedia just says that the genre of this album is “Dance” which I definitely don’t agree with

That high note was neat but it almost hurt

6/10, I feel like this song is trying too hard

Mala

I remember liking the flute in this song

Yeah, there it is

Say what you will about the music, but the vocals on this album are So pretty when they let them be

What even is Mala? I looked it up before, I think it’s a spice?

Yep, apparently it’s a spice

They just said “spicy” too

Rap bridge, as expected

Ad libs in the last chorus, as always

7/10, it’s fun and cute, nothing super special relative to the rest of the album

[harrysmimi]

No More Hiding

Synopsis: One where YN joins Harry at his first Venice Film Festival

CW: Smut and a shit load of fluff.

Ps. Not proof read. Hihi.

More of my work

Harry was sat on the sofa with Juno snuggled up on top of him watching YN on the TV. It was her Zane Lowe interview, and she isn't home as she's got more press to do. Juno was a bit under the weather so she was clinging on him, which he loved. He loves to snuggle with her, but hated that his baby is sick.

"Are you going to sleep now?" He asked caressing her silky brown hair. Her hair is the only thing which she got from her mother, she just looks like him. Juno just nodded in no as she stared at her mother on the TV.

"Mummy!" She sighed, but in excitement.

"Yeah, that's your mummy." He smiled.

"Pwetty." Juno smiled. She can say quite a few words and Pretty is one of her favourite one to say.

She'd call her breakfast pretty when asked if she likes it, she's call her toys pretty, her dad and mum pretty.

"Oh she is very pretty, isn't she?" Harry chuckled softly. He doesn't blame her, he's head over heels for the girl on his TV too. "But you're the prettiest." He booped her nose, "don't tell mummy tho."

He looked back to the TV, watch hi wife and baby mama talk about her new project, she seems so proud of.

"When Taylor messaged me on Instagram about this song, I kinda sorta might have pissed my pants." YN chuckled answering Zane Lowe's question. "I'm gonna use my pregnancy as an excuse, here. But she wrote this whole paragraph about how she likes my music and congratulated me for the Grammys, and that she has this song on Reputation she wanted to collaborate with me." She let out a squeal.

"I can't believe it even happened. Reputation, is hands down my favourite album. I ate my husband's ears out for like the whole time I was working on this project with Taylor." She looked like a child at a candy store.

"I'm gonna assume you had a great time working with Taylor. Now you have a song on your new album of yours with her as well—it is an amazing song by the way, I love it—how did that came along? Did you guys sit down after finishing up song on Rep and decided to write another? Because you said you wrote this song after you were done recording the Rep song. What was the process?" Zane asked his elaborated questions.

"Oh I really did enjoyed working with her, especially when she's the first one I'm collaborating with. And thank you." YN admitted, "recording song on my album just happened really, I was just showing Taylor this song and she was like 'you know what? Let's finish it up.' that's how we wrote this song. She's been nothing but such an amazing friend!"

And the conversation about her music went on, they discussed every song on her new album as they were sat in her house in Australia. She was there for press. Harry and Juno were napping in their shared bedroom in the same house, so she could have this time and work without Juno running after her for everything.

"Your song Heaven is so, so, so, so— urgh I don't even know how to put it into words, but when I was listening to this song felt so loved in a way. My kids loves this song by the way, they say it feels like a lullaby." Zane shared.

"Yeah it is, I wrote it after I got to know I'm having a daughter. I can't even explain how special I felt knowing she chose me to be her mother. God it was so surreal." YN ranted, the radiance on her face from talking about her daughter was brighter than the sun itself, "I just couldn't fathom—in a cool way—that my baby is going to be a girl. I am sort of religious when it comes to this. It is said daughters bring good fortune and good luck and love and joy along with them and it does feel like that. My parents got four daughters and they say the same thing.  She's more attached to Harry I will say, that makes me jealous. But we're, we're on good terms."

Zane chuckled, "that's a beautiful thing." YN took in a deep breath knowing what question was coming forth her, "you never talked about your daughter, why so?"

"It was definitely to protect her from everything which comes with, with my career. I didn't felt like wanting to put her in lime light when she can't really understand what good and bad for her. When she's grown up maybe she'd want to be a part of what her parents do or she's maybe not to want to be part of this. And as much as I like social media, it is really one cruel place to be. Same came with my relationship, my husband and I did not wanted to talk about it openly mor did we wanted to hide, so that's that."

"No, I totally agree with you. Social media can have a bad influence most of the time." Zane said, "I've talked to Harry about it too in the past."

"Yeah, I've seen those interviews. You're really amazing by the way, best person I've been interviewed by ever. Thank you." YN praised Zane.

"Of course," he smiled at her compliment, "now we have this next song..." And they both diverted back to talking about her album. They still had 8 songs to talk about which were party and love songs.

Juno was up the entire interview. He put on Cocomelon for her, it helps her to to sleep somehow. To be honest he'd sleep watching that show too as to how boring he finds it.

"Oh we're watching Cocomelon?" It YN, she shut the door behind her as she took off her shoes. Juno's head shot up, as she climbed down the sofa leaving her dad in a heartbeat and waddled to her mother. "Hi baby love." YN gathered her in a warm hug as she scooped her from the ground, checking her fever with the back of her hand.

"Muma!" She smiled in content. YN just hugged her tighter. "Kissy." She held her mum's face in between her tiny hands as he pressed sloppy kiss on her mouth. She gets the face holding from her dad.

"I love you!" YN said, "more than you Papa, don't tell him though." She whispered the last part making Juno laugh cheekily.

"I heard that." Harry commented, "come here you two, now!"

"Demanding, aren't we?" YN said as she made her way to where her husband was sat.

Jumo held out her tiny pointer finger towards her dad, "Bad Papa!"

Harry gasped, "what did you just say!"

"No, Mummy!" She confided in her mum laughing.

"She isn't wrong." YN agreed with their daughter as she sat next to him. Juno straddling her lap as she rested her small head on her chest.

Harry cupped his wife's face as he brought her closer to him to kiss her on the mouth. "Missed you today."

"Awh! I missed you too." She cooed and gave him another kiss, "I have a day off tomorrow."

"Yeah?" He asked. He was planning out a day for just him and her, maybe leave Juno with his mother-in-law for the day. Take his wife out on a nice date, or do whatever she pleases. He just did not wanted to say that in front of Jumo or she'd be throwing a tantrum.

She's learned to throw tantrums now which is very challenging to the least, to handle her. But she calms down with in minutes.

"Mhmm." She nodded. "Do you want to go out for dinner?"

"Where do you want to go?" He asked, "or we can cook at home."

"We need to go grocery shopping." YN reminded him, "we can go to this Korean restaurant, Juno have have a bit of soup."

"You like soup, don't you?" Harry looked at his baby.

"Soup!" She exclaimed.

"Korean food it is." Harry announced, "come on, let's go change." He stood up holding his hands out for Juno. He placed her carefully down on her feet as they walked upstairs to change.

YN sat there, relaxing for a bit. Hearing giggling and squeals from Juno's room. She had come downstairs with her stuffed Bunny she got when she was having a nice day out with her Nana. He's named BumBum for some reason, bit keeps changing. She had her pair of Gucci sandles her dad got her of course.

"Mummy, put my shoes pwease?" She asked.

"Come on here, I'll teach you how to put on your shoes yeah?" YN suggested. She climbed up on the sofa, YN showed her how to put on her shoes.

"Yay!" She celebrated her bug success of putting her shoes on.

"Good job, darling." YN praised her.

"Papa, I put my shoes!" She told her father he came down all cha ged up, showing off her shoes.

"Good job baby," he praised her too. "You're getting big now, huh?" Juno just clapped her hands and did her happy dance.

......................................................................

Juno was fast asleep in her baby ramp when they got back home. Harry took her upstairs to her room, changed her into her PJs and put her in her cot with a good night kiss. By the time he got back to the room he shared with his wife, she was already in shower. He knocked on the door.

"Can I join?" He asked.

"Come in." It did not took him more convincing to go in after that.

He can still resist seeing her, despite being together for three years and having a child with her, just looking at her (even if she's in worn down baggy clothes) makes him wanna go at it like rabbits. He could definitely feel himself getting hard there, as he stripped to get in shower with her.

He missed the days where he could make love to her anywhere in their home. But now they have confide in their bedroom, especially now since their little bean can walk and even climb out of her cot if she's feeling brave and rebellious. But this time he made sure to lock the bathroom door, but their daughter won't be up till the morning now.

......................................................................

YN and Harry opted to not leave Junk with her Nana for the next day, just because they would be gone to Italy for two days.

YN's got a movie premiering at the Venice Film Festival, right next day after Harry's. It was Harry's first time whilst YN's been there for a couple of time. He was a hit nervous to say the least. It was better to spend some time with their little one before going away for two days for the first time.

Harry found it a little difficult to actually leave his mini me alone. He's never done that since she's been born, the longest he was away from her was 20 hours and that was dreading itself whilst she was on a plane with her Mummy to one his shows. Daddy and daughter snuggled for hours after the show to be frank, turns out neither Juno can go a day without her dad.

And here she is helping her mum pack a duffle bag with her night clothes, helping her pick some PJs. YN's side of closet was made into a mess.

"Papa no!" She scolded her dad moving his hand away who was helping her fold the clothes to put into the bag, "me do it!"

"Okay you do it." He gave up.

YN had made her a little clothe folding 'Machine' with pieces of cardboard, as a sensory toy. She loves to use it as she can fold clothes. She placed her mum's sleep shirt on it, surprisingly very nearly for a eighteen month old and folded up the piece of clothing.

"Yay!" She celebrated as she moved on to another shirt. She found it fun to help around already.

"Good job baby girl." Harry praised her, helped her by pushing her baby hairs out of her face. Once she was done she got to play with her dad. They play fought whilst YN got her skincare kit together, yN was getting her stuff together whilst two kids were playing instead of just following her around.

That's what they both do, Harry follows YN around like a puppy and Juno follows him around. But she was left alone now to get her stuff together in peace. Now they were singing nursery rhymes together, making a load of noise.

"Papa you bein' siwwy!" Juno squealed a laugh watching her dad make funny faces as he strummed his guitar. For am 18 month old her vocabulary was pretty good, he was surprised. "Wan' one!"

"You want a guitar?" He beamed, and she nodded grinning wife showing off dimples she got from him. "Will get you one soon, yeah princess?"

"Yay!" She celebrated, stood up on the mattress to give Harry a kiss on his mouth.

"I love you." He mumbled pulled her in a hung after he put his guitar away.

"Wuv you!" She mumbled.

It warmed YN's heart to see him so good with Juno, just like she imagined he's going to be. He is already an amazing father to her. She was done packing up their bags, she even packed Harry's stuff for him because he was having such a great time with their little bean. She told him she was going down stairs to make them dinner. It was her turn to make dinner tonight.

"Babe?" Harry called about an hour later as he made his way down to kitchen.

"I'm in kitchen." She answered. "Where is JJ?"

"She's napping in our bed." He shared, "just got a call from Jeff."

"Now what does that fucker wants?" She asked, annoyed clearly as she copped lettuce for the side salad.

"Don' say that love, he's m'friend." He cooed, but in a joking way, "he was askin' me to ask you if y'could send out a statement sayin' your Harry is a different Harry and not me. The birthday posts have made enough chaos and your recent interview just added to it." He explained.

She snorted, "why would I do that?"

"Don' have to baby, I don' want y'to either. I can't live a double life anymo'." He sighed, "I'm so happy with you, don' want tk change anythin' 'ave got the most amazing girls with me. That's all I need. I want no more hidin'."

"Awh H!" YN sighed and pulled him in a hug, "you need a different manager."

"Just don't leave me." He mumbled, his fave buried in the crook of her neck.

"Never leaving you H, not for seven lives you've got. Remember we vowed two hears ago." She reminded him.

"I want y'in every universe and every life baby, I love you. So much." He wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I love you." She mumbled. "Don't have to get so sad and upset about it. I'm not going anywhere, you have me and Juno for the rest of our days."

"You have me too." She could feel him smile against her skin as he mumbled. He pressed a gentle kiss on her neck before he hugged her tighter.

"Harry, no hickeys. I'm wearing my hair up!" She warned him when she felt him suck on her skin lightly.

"Too bad," he pulled away, "you've got sensitive skin, 's already red." He smirked proudly looking at his work on her neck.

"God you're annoying." She groaned and got back to her work, just for him to wrap his arms around her again, from behind.

"Too bad that too, you're stuck with me. For our seven lives." He kissed her cheek, "I wan' you to be as petty as you want to be now. Show everyone who I belong to."

"You mean I can crumble TPWK, chop it into tiny lil pieces and throw it out the window of 69th floor?" She asked as she stirred the food on the stove in front of her.

"That's a bit specific and as much as I want you to do that, don' hurt anyone, yeah?" He made a bargain.

"Too bad that," she said, "I was about to go over to your asshole Jeffery's house and crack his neck."

"Maybe don' do that." He said, "that's a bit cruel."

"I'll think about it." She nodded, "god can't wait to tell everyone I'm your wife."

"And I can't wait to show I'm your husband and baby daddy." He nudged his nose into her freshly washed hair.

"We're being cringey, we should stop." She laughed.

"I don' know." He shrugged, "let's turn off the stoves now and go to the bathroom now."

"You're like a teenager." She squealed a soft chuckle feeling his hand creep upto her breasts, pushing his hand down back to her tummy. "Still need to make the salad and food for Juno."

"She's nappin', come on, don' leave your husband with blue balls." He whined.

"Thought we had seven lives together, we got plenty of time for that." She teased him.

"I've fot seven minutes before I explode."

"God you're dramatic." She turned off all the stoves and turned around. He pulled her away from hot vessels so she doesn't hurt herself as he attacked her with a big needy kiss on her mouth, his hands reaching down to groop her butt as he picked her up to take her to the downstairs bathroom.

......................................................................

Harry loves Italy. More than anyone could imagine. That's where he asked YN to be his girlfriend, that's also where he proposed her and also where they got married. It js a pretty special place to him. Even his baby ws conceived there. Wink wink!

Harry couldn't take YN on the premier of his movie with him but he was for sure going with her the next day. He had picked out an outfit with help of Lambert just incase he gets to go on the red carpet with her, though he's nust planning to accompany her on her request.

The press conference and red carpet for his movie was rather boring for him, he'd admit.

But he was so excited that she'd be with him for the screening. She looked incredibly adorable with her floral printed skirt and a blouse to go with it. She had styled her hair in subtle waves. He walked upto her where she was talking to the director of his movie and someone from her crew.

"I can't wait to get out of here," he said to her but Jeffery was there in his manager mode and pulled him back to ask to go see the fans who were stopped right behind YN behind the barricade.

Next day, watching his wife talk to people, being her humble and sweet self made his heart flutter that much more. He looked stunning in her Gucci suit from hi HAHAHA collection, he had it custom made in her most favourite colour and even had her favourite flower clipped to the lapel on the blazer. Her hair thrown into messy low bun with a few face framing bits around her gorgeous chubby cheeks, he loves to pepper with kisses. Their wedding and engagement ring she proudly wore today as only accesory for the night on her hand.

Even he wore his engagement ring and wedding ring proudly today and yesterday.

The dark red-ish brown lipstick made her lips stand out. If they weren't in a room full of people he'd just go up to her make her sit on his lap and make out with her for hours on end.

Soon the press conference was over, he watched YN walk over to him. Harry did not waste a moment to hold her hand.

"Let's go get ready for the carpet, yeah?" She suggested.

"Mhmm." He nodded and walked out with her to the water taxi. Once sat and away from the people taking pictures and videos of them, "you did so good there."

"Thank you." She smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder which earned her a kiss on her forehead.

"Want to see you in your outfit already. You just said you're wearing something white and iridescent." He pouted, making a puppy face.

"Just an hour," she said.

Harry had already heard her rave about this dress she had designed from this small boutique in her hometown, it was support a small business and even bring her movie character with her as she walked down the red carpet for the premiere. YN's younger than him but she's been in the industry to know what exactly she is doing, Harry is very grateful whenever she guides him with something.

It just took her about 40 minutes to get out of photocall look and then additional 45 minister to get into her final look. She had asked Harry to het something to match her with just two clues. He got himself a iridescent and white dress shirt and dress pants with the shoes he wore on his movie premier. He did not wanted to steal from her day and make it about himself so he kept jt simple. But it was Gucci of course.

"Dan-ta-naa!" YN exclaimed walking into the living room area of their suite from the bedroom where she was getting ready. Harry quickly changed up in the bathroom and was fixing his hair looking in her small hand held mirror.

She looked like a living doll with her puffy mini dress which hemmed right ar her mid thighs with puffy sleeves, her hair pulled up into a mid high ponytail with a black iridescent bowed headband around her hair but a few pieces were left around her face and styled into her classic waves. She wore Oxford loafer with ankle high socks, a bold red lip to finish up the look. It was so much like her but also her movie character with simple colour, sophisticated style yet sparkly. When she stepped closer he also noticed glittery eyeliner, smoked out on her gorgeous eyes making her look that much more mature. Harry didn't know he was holding onto his breath until he felt her hand on his bicep bringing him back to life there.

"You took my breath away," he sighed making her chuckle. She pouted asking for a kiss.

"It's transfer proof." She said refering to her lipstick. He smiled and gladly gave her much deserved kiss, he just did not wanted to ruin her makeup for her. At least not now.

The premier of her movie was amazing. Her fans were ecstatic to see Harry with her, even his fans were. He took a few pictures with her and went to stand with her team whilst she was being the icon she is. He did not hesitate to click a few pictures of her himself on their disposable camera he got with him.

Her movie was amazing. It recieved 18 minutes standing ovation as everyone praised her and the director of her movie. A movie made by women for women was the motto of the project which was evidently conveyed to the audience. Harry couldn't be more proud of her as he whistles and clapped and cheered for her, asking everyone around him to cheer as well. It made an history at the Film Festival for the longest standing ovation then and there.

It should be weird but Harry couldn't be happier to see his wife in happy tears tonight. For someone who debuted in the entertainment industry as a singer to turn into an actor was a pretty big deal for her and he knew it. He has seen her go through so much with in three years with her, he couldn't imagine how she dealt with everything from the age of just ten.

For the after party dinner, YN couldn't help but just look at her love. He looked extra handsome today to for some reason.

She was lucky one to have her dreams come true, she's been his fan since the very beginning of his career. Now she is married to him and have a child with him. There is just so much more to him just slaying everyday on his life in front of camera like a pro.

He's the most caring man she has had in her entire life. Most importantly she feels loved around him which she never got to experience from anyone other than her sisters and mother. It was a different kind of love and it was refreshing. He never gives into her lies of I'm fine but instead sits her sown and talk it all out.

He's an amazing husband and equally amazing father if not more. That's what she wanted for her future kids. God seeing him with Juno makes her heart melt into a puddle.

Now seeing him get along with her friends and colleagues made her fall in with him that much more. If that was even possible. How he managed to sneak in little kisses on her forehead and cheek, never failed to leave her hand unless needed. They talked through the dinner, everyone was praising YN for her work.

Honestly Harry thought it wasn't enough. No praises are enough for his Queen, she needs more and more because she deserves every one of those.

They went back to their hotel but YN didn't eat much as she didn't find the food that great, so they walked to little store which was open down the street. They had a few crips options for her and a few fruit drinks plus a load of sweets. She got a pack of gummy bears, big pack of classic salt and vinegar crips and only mango smoothie left in the fridge, Harry opted for the strawberry one as it was her second choice just incase she changed her mind. And they walked back to their hotel.

They both did their little face masks and ate the junk food both of them got and watched half of recent Conjuring movie. Talked to their baby on FaceTime for a few minutes before it was time for her bed. Well it was way past her bed time but she was with her Nani so she was excused.

"So?" Harry looked at his wife smirking.

"So?" She asked.

"Are you tired?" He asked.

"Not really, not much." She shook her head then realised what he was referring to. "Only if you can be on top."

"Yeah, can do that." He nodded in agreement as he kept his laptop away he rolled over to her side, hovering her halfway as he caught her lips with his tenderly.

"Just go slow." She mumbled against his mouth.

"Was planning on same." He said pulling away so he can move to fit in between her thighs with hands rested on either sides of her shoulders kept him from crushing her with his weight. "Just miss making love to ya, I'm very tired of quickies at night in our bedroom or the bathroom."

"Awh Harry," she cooed and pulled him down with her hand sliding up his neck. He sucked on her bottom lip gently as he slowly made his way down her jaw to her neck with equal feathery and sloppy kisses. "Can I leave hickeys on ya?"

"Mhmm," she nodded. She got nothing to worry about even though she's got half of the press left for her album. But it was okay with her. Everyone knows they sleep together, they're married and have a child!

He lingered just that much longer on her pulse at her neck. Sucking a tiny mark on her skin meanwhile rutting his hips into hers, fabrics of their underwear just separating them from each other, she could feel his hardening bulge against her bundle of nerves with his each soft rut.

It was just perfect that he is just in his boxers and she is just in her shirt and a pair of panties, which Harry is sure are to ruined already when a soft moan escaped her mouth. Her moans are like whispers of song to him, not that she's a loud moaner. It was something just for both of them when it's that way.

"C'mere," he moved away from sucking a mark on her neck but not before he pressed a kiss on her mouth as he helped her sit up. His hands going down to the hem of her shirt as if on auto pilot mode, "can I take this off?"

"Please." She nodded.

Him still asking her for everything little thing makes butterflies in her tummy fly upto her head, because she knows what's coming next. He carefully took off her shirt, extra careful with her pretty face.

"Need y'to stand 'ere." He said as he guided her to side of their hotel bed with his hands on her hips, "no, no a's okay." He assured her already seeing her suck in her tummy, something she did subconsciously especially since she's got a little baby pooch and strech marks on her skin. "Don' do that, okay?"

"Mhmm." She nodded.

"Relax." He looked up at her with his hand rested on her tummy, "relax or aren' goin' any further, baby love. Want you to be comfortable." Once he had made sure she was relaxed, he got to slide down her panties, a wet patch was evidence which boosted up his ego. He knows how to work her up.

Without saying a word with his hand behind her knee he pulled her leg up to rest on the mattress besides him as she stood in between his legs. He pressed a loving kiss on her tummy earning a soft giggle from her, he went onto kiss his way down south. YN gasped feeling the tiniest swip of his tongue on her already sensitive clit. Harry glanced at her with a devilish smirk on his face, his right dimple showing up. He moved to loving on the soft skin on her thighs, pressing on sloppy wet kisses in a trail leading upto where she wanted more pressure just to move to her other thigh.

"How many do you have in you?" He asked, but keeping busy with loving on her.

"I don't know." She mumbled. It's been a long time they have gone this slow. It was like her first time, he made it so special and unforgettable for her, it was on their second date. No pre-hand preparations were needed, he has drove her back to her hotel in London but he ended up staying the night with her, though they opted out on intercourse it was still a very special night. "Quit teasing, H, please!"

"No begging baby, I'm gonna make you cum tonight." He said, "just gonna have my way with you." She just whined a gasp feeling his thumb on her clit rub a tight circle to join by a flick of the tip of his tongue. His tongue was still cold from when he had his (almost frozen) smoothie. She let out a hiss at a bold lick of his tongue.

Looking down, she found him with his eyes closed, devouring her taste like she's his last meal. With his hands on her hips urging her to move her hips in slow thrusts again his flicking tongue which was now warming up to familiar sense of pleasure which followed by closely. She was immediately pushed to the edge when she saw the bright green of his eyes with hints of blues and browns, his cheekbones looked so much more prominent as he sucked on her clit. He sucked in a deep breath as he shut his eyes closed again, indulging himself.

"I'm close, H," she moaned a sigh at the sight of him alone, and another as her hands went up threading through his hair pushing his head further into her pussy. Vibration from his humming causes sparks go down her spine as the exhale from his nose sooth her. She felt his finger teasing at her entrance as he sucked on her clit. It's been just few minutes but it feels like a life time as she came over her euphoric high.

"Fuck!" She mumbled, feeling like she's made of rubber as every tense sensation in her bones, joints and muscles washed away. She almost fell down it were for Harry to pull her on his lap, making her straddle his thighs.

"Hi," he was quick to wrap his arms around her, holding her up as he buried his face into her neck.

"Hi," she whispered resting her head on his shoulder.

"You alright?" He enquired.

"Yeah, just—it was alot. But good." She nodded, "just need a second."

"We have all night baby love." He chuckled quietly, rubbing his hand on the planes of her bare back. "Think we should sleep now, yeah?"

"No," she whined.

"You look tired baby," he pointed out the obvious, "was it that good?"

"I told you I need a second, don't boost your ego." She mumbled against his skin.

"It's been more than a second." He chuckled, "you good now?" He asked once she pushed away slightly to look at him.

"Mhmm." She nodded. "It's just been that long, all we were doing was having quickies."

"Mmm, must say enjoyed tha' very, very much. We should do this more often." He suggested, a cheeky obviously smirk playing on his lips.

"Yeah?" YN cooed teasing him, scrunching up her nose, nudging against his.

"Yeah!" He nodded mimicking her.

Harry's play mocking was shut down with her buttoning their mouths together again as she pushed him back on the mattress.

"Uh-uh, darlin' love, we're doin' it my way today." He managed to mumble against her mouth, turning her unspoken offer of a blowie from her, he knows her all too well. Hooking his leg behind her knee, his hand on her hip and one behind her neck he flipped them over in a split of a second. "Today is about you," he reminded her, pushing her bangs which covering her pretty face. "You had many people show their love and support for you today. Now 's my turn."

"Is it?" She squinted her eyes and pouting her lips in fake confusion.

He kissed her pout away, "mhmm, it is. It is my love."

"God you are hot!" She groaned pulling him in for a kiss.

She wouldn't lie she's been his fan before they met, fought for his tickets online in the fan queue. She found herself quite lucky that he happened to fall in love with her. She took no shame in fangirling over him, on his face.

"Mm," Harry pulled away in hurry. "Gimme a second, yeah?" He hurried to the closet where their bags were kept, almost stumbling over his own bare feet, he took out a few condoms. He walked back to where he left his wife.

"We don't need those." She told him.

"We don' need another babe for a while, love, one is already takin' all of our time and extra." He told her and he slipped down his boxers.

"I am on birth control," she reminded him and watch realisation wash over his gorgeous features. Yet another cheeky smile took over his face as he tossed the silver packets behind him like trash, well, it was trash now. He made his way back to her and smushed his mouth on hers in a tender loving kiss.

"Harry?" She tried to speak, which halted his actions immediately. He looked at her to find her doe eyes, "please?" She asked.

God, they're like old couples who's been together for atleast 7 to 8 decades!

He gave a nod as he willing lied on his back, pulling her on top of him—he is not dumb to deny a blowie offer for the second time!— she gave him a soft peck on his lips, kissing the corner of his mouth she made her way of sloppy wet kisses down his jaw to his neck. His sweet spot just by the angle of his jaw where she lingered to earn a few soft moans from him. Once she was satisfied and knew very well it's going to leave a mark which will darken in the morning and stay for at least a week she moved back to press another kiss on his mouth.

"You sure?" She asked.

"You know I'm—" he was interrupted by another kiss which he welcomed gladly because he's"—not gonna say no to that."

"I love you," she chuckled.

"I love you." He rephrased.

She made her way down. His hard cock lied on his stomach there, wrapping her fingers around it was enough to earn a small gasp from him. Her couldn't fathom the sight of how her tiny hands looked tiny wrapped around his shaft like that. His mind was knocked off all the thoughts at once though, when he felt her warm tongue swipe around just the tip. A kitten licks in, she takes just the head in her mouth. He looked down to find her fully indulged, god how he loved it. She pulls away with sound of pop to his cock another lick.

"God!" He groaned softly, letting his head hang back in the slightest of pleasure, which he wouldn't lie was aching to feel. The feel of her warm mouth wrapped around his, feeling her mouth more and more on his cock. "Oh, no baby take just as much as you can." He warned her. She just hummed as she slowly started to bob her head up and down his cock. He let out a louder hiss of a moan. He wouldn't last long if he keeps thinking how much he missed it then he wouldn't have another in him, especially with how much he desired to be on top. How she made his mind boggle was out of this world.

"Baby, love, stop." He stopped her.

"What? Did I hurt you?" She asked.

"No, no you didn't." He rushed to assured her pulling her closer to him holding onto her wrist. "I wouldn't last that long, and I already don't think 'ave another in me. Let me fuck you now, yeah?"

"Mhmm." She got off of him.

"C'mon darlin', lie down, wanna see your pretty face as I make y'cum with my cock now." He sits up, he doesn't let her lied down herself, with his hands behind her knees he pulls her down making her fall back as he fit himself in between her thighs. "Y'look so gorgeous like this. Jus' for me to see, yeah?"

"Just for you." She nodded. He hovers over her.

"Did I tell you jow much I love you?" He mumbled against her cheek before pressing a soft kiss on her skin.

"You do that like a million times a day." She agrees.

"Mhmm, I love you. So much." He reminded her again as he he buttoned their mouths together, tucking her bottom lip in his. "You ready?"

"Yeah." She could only manage to get one word out with his mouth on hers. He pulled away just a inch, his hand going down in between them, taking his cock in his hand he slowly pushed himself in. Taking it slow this time.

YN could feel every crevice and vien on his cock as she felt him slip inside. He felt bigger somehow. Gasping for hair, she wrapped her arms around his middle, fearing she's going to slip away from all the pleasure she was already feeling.

Happy hormones having a firework in her brain just intensified when he was fully in. His forehead nuzzled in her neck.

"Move now please!" She whimpered quite literally. He hummed in reply as he pulled back just to trust in. It did not take him long to pick a nice rhythm which worked wonders for their filthy song. Their moans added low vocals to the beats of their hips coming together.

"No, look at me baby." He requested, when he saw her eyes shut close. Her head burying further down in her pillow.

"Go faster please," she whined of pleasure. In silent agreement Harry picked up his pace just a little. Pushing her sweet spot just right times, pushing her that much closer to edge.

He felt himself release once, he was close he knew. "Are you gonna cum for me baby?"

"Uh-huh," she nodded and finally looked at him, "ah, please cum with me Harry."

"I'm behind you baby love, cum for me whenever—" he grunts as he keeps up with his rhythm, "—you're ready."

With her hands cupping his face, she pulled him down for a kiss. But she shuddered physical feeling him groan and inhale sharply through her nose as he started going feral with his thrusts now. Chasing for both their highs. Especially after feeling her pussy clench around his cock.

Soon enough he was cumming right after her, as her pussy milked his cock to the last drop.

After shocks hit just rught after a pause in their actions, maybe a second, before both of them started painting as if they just ran a marathon. Harry chuckled softly when he pulled his head up to look at her all worn out lied there under him with her eyes shut, in euphoric daze.

"You alright baby?" He asked.

"Uh-huh." She sounded, opening her eyes to look at him, she felt numb down there but could still tell his now soften cock was still inside her. He smiled resting his forehead on hers, taking in the moment.

"Need to get y'cleaned," he reminded himself more than he did her. It was his ritual, which he couldn't follow for many times even after their quickies.

"I will go clean myself, we don't have much here." She reminded him, "we're in a hotel."

"Oh yeah," he realised, letting out a sigh he looked at her, "you need a minute?"

"Hmm." She nodded.

"You did so good, came so hard." He said, already reminiscing what happened not even a minute ago. She laughed softly, the red tint in her complextion just intensifying.

Her watched as her hand came in his view, her pointer finger running down in feathery touch from in bet his brows to the nose, a little tap on the tip of his nose. He was waiting for it, it never failed to earn a giggle and a tender kiss from him.

"C'mon now, need y'to go pee and clean yourself, yeah?" He said and finally pulled out of her, already missing the specific physical closeness he shared with her.

"I want to cuddle naked." She demanded as she sat up.

"Mhmm," with a pat on her bum he sent her to the bathroom.

......................................................................

It was half past one in the morning, YN got into bed with her husband. Still feeling her legs wobbling as she walked.

As much as both of the loved being parents to Juno, none of them would even a quarter ounce of a thing, both of them just missed their alone time.

As guilty feeling as it felt to them both, that was needed. It wasn't as intense as their pre baby sex times, but it surely felt like one.

With quickies, it wasn't sure both of them had their orgasms which was equally as important for the other to make sure. With promises to get back to it when their baby would whine in her sleep or start crying or is sick, the tiredness from late night and early mornings broke their promises quite many times. Which both of them were fine of.

They're new parents, and they're going to learn as time goes by.

"We should do this at least once a month." Harry suggested.

For once in a blue moon, he was a big spoon today.

"Yeah? Come to Italy?" She asked.

"Maybe," he said, "or we can have Juno spend time at one of her Grandma's or Aunty Gem's house. Does that sound selfish?"

"No, it doesn't." She assured him, "I know it feels wrong to leave her like that, but I feel like we need alone time too. Not just for sex and but just to talk or get some rest."

He scoffed jokingly, "please, you can never keep your hands off of me."

"Yeah, says you who started this." She commented shutting down his giggles.

"Touche baby love." He smiled. "We have a flight at night tomorrow. So we can sleep in for as long as we wish."

"Please don't wake me up until I wake up myself, even if there's a earthquake or tsunami warning!" She begged, "good night, Mr. Styles."

"Good night, Mrs. Styles." He kissed the back of her head.

He knew she wanted to talk more, she's a talker and goes on and on but she is too tired he reckoned. He's gonna have to take her on a vacation soon.

[timextoxhajima]

hi dana.. if it’s possible can i request some angsty wangsty based on niki la la lost you with eric🥺 and ughh i really love your writing like crazyyyyy

♥ title: la la lost you in april [also part of @sunlightwoo ‘s 12 Months I Loved You collaboration project]

♥ member: tbz eric

♥ genre: f2l, ex! eric x fem! reader, model! eric [SFW!]

♥ warnings: swearing, some mentions of sex [like, once i think]

♥ wc: 3.4k

♥ a/n: sis when i first heard the song I absolutely loved how you used 'angsty wangsty' so I hope this one does it for you the way you imagined it <3 [fyi i wrote it in like, a camcorder recording audio format which is something i’m trying out so please hmu on whether it’s difficult to read/understand!]

[REC: APRIL 2, 2019 - 6:39PM] SOLO LOG #1

Are you seeing this? This is the most beautiful sunset I’ve seen. I gotta get a shot of this-

Hey! Hey! I could help you take a picture with the sunset if you want to!

Oh! Would- Would you? That’d be great!

Of course! 

...

Here. Is it alright?

Yeah, yeah, it’s cool! Thank you so much!

Are you recording something? Is it a- Are you vlogging? Are you a vlogger?

Yeah, no... I’m actually on a solo trip for a bit.

Oh, where are you from?

Just the next state. 

Ah! You’re taking a break off... life then? I assume? Sorry if that came out weird.

No! No no! It’s alright! Yeah, I just needed a short break from... y’know, school and everything. My semester ended pretty early on so I took the chance to come out here and... see some new sights, meet some new people.

I get that. Well, for a start, what’s your name?

Oh, I’m y/n. Nice to meet you! And you?

I’m Eric. 

[REC: APRIL 4, 2019 - 10:34PM] SOLO LOG #2

It is the 4th of April, 2019. I know, I know, I’m meant to do a daily vlog for all the 50 days I’m here but... it’s been... wow. Um... so I met Eric, the first day I touched down. The beach is just, about a 10 minute walk down and the sunsets are absolutely gorgeous. But uh... call me a fool and say that I’m living in the clouds but- what are the chances?

He’s funny, he’s such a great person to be around with y’know? Never a moment of like, awkwardness or stress and my God, look at me talking about a boy like that, though I met him 2 days ago. 

...

Um, he’s a freelance model. For those freelance shoots by UNIQLO or Target or something and he complains about the pay sometimes, but he looks good infront of a camera, so he’s... actually the one who won at life, really.

I’m not seeing him soon because he’s got a shoot out of town and he’ll be back next week. But I did get his number and he’s been texting me since. 

...

Wouldn’t it be funny if we end up together and then I have this whackass of a reel to show him? Jesus... I need to stop getting ahead of myself here. Freakin’ living in the clouds, aren’t I?

...

Anyway, I’m gonna go and see if I can get my weird projector shit up and working. See you.

[REC: APRIL 7, 2019 - 5:14AM] SOLO LOG #3

It is... 5am... uh, April 7th- and I was just binging FRIENDS through the night, waiting for the sunrise before I get some shut eye and then... Eric just asked me out. Oh my God! Um, he’s coming back this Thursday and I’ll go see him at the airport before we go get dinner.

It was really funny ‘cause he had to wake up early for a shoot today and so his day has just begun but mine’s coming to an end and I just- I’m rambling so much, it’s kinda- it’s kinda sad, isn’t it?

I think I’m too happy to sleep right now so I’m just gonna text him some more before the sun rises- oh! He replied!

...

Anyway, I’m gonna go and finish up this last episode before sleeping. Hopeful I can sleep. Bye!

[REC: APRIL 11, 2019 - 4:28PM] SOLO LOG #4

I am on my way out right now to go meet Eric at the airport, and I’m... it’d be an understatement to say that I’m excited. I know I’ve only known him for like, 2 days before he left but... I miss him. Is that possible? Missing someone despite knowing them for 2 days?

Anyway, I gotta go. Don’t wanna be late to see him.

[REC: APRIL 13, 2019 - 10:23AM] SOLO LOG #5

Oh! Is that what you had-

Yeah! It’s the same camera!

What are you vlogging for, actually? Like-

Nothing, really. It’s just for my own usage-

Wait, you didn’t like set that up last night while we-

Oh, God, no! Who do you think I am?

I don’t know, I mean, we’ve known each other for... is it two weeks-

Just under two weeks-

Jeez-

I know, I know, oh my God.

...

I don’t regret it though. Yeah, like- I don’t really go down to the beach that often in the first place and it just- it just so happened that you were there that day and I saw you struggling with this old thing-

I was not struggling!

Yeah you were!

I wasn’t-

I’m kidding! Gosh, you’re so cute.

...

Are you gonna have the camera recording while this carries on?

I forgot it was on-

One day we’re gonna accidentally make a sex tape-

Eric!

[REC: APRIL 17, 2019 - 1:15AM] SOLO LOG #6

-ould you pass me the hot water?

Mm? What?

The kettle over on the counter. Careful, it’s hot. Yeah, thanks.

Do you need help with-

It’s just instant noodles, sweet. Doubt I need a diploma for this. You’re recording again?

Yeah, does it bother you?

No, no, ‘course not. Though that means I can’t really do whatever I want to now.

What does that mea-

...

I can... still taste that bit of milk tea you had just now-

Could you tell it’s zero sugar?

I don’t think that matters, it’s still sweet and not great for your health to have that so much.

Aw, and yet you’re the one who suggested noodles at this timing, yeah?

You were hungry too!

...

Here, it’s done. Help me get the bowls? 

Did you even wash these?

Yeah, I did. If you don’t trust me, you can run them under the water for a bit.

Mhm. Here.

If it’s not enough, we can call for Macs.

Y’know, I’ve never had Macs past midnight back at home.

What? Really? Well, when you get back in May, would you try?

Yeah, why not? Maybe I’ll do that when I’m back in school. 

...

What date is it today?

April... hold on, um, 17. Careful, that’s hot.

...

When are you leaving again?

May 22. 

Are you planning on coming back anytime soon after?

I don’t know. I have school to worry about and the only other time I can come back’s probably during winter break in November.

...

I won’t be around in November.

Mm? Why not?

I’m moving.

To where?

I’m not sure yet, but I need to move depending on whether I get it and where the shoot’s at.

Shoot? It’s a big project, huh?

Yeah, it’s- it’s a pretty big deal.

...

I’ll- Let me just go and...

[REC: APRIL 20, 2019 - 7:49PM] SOLO LOG #7

-idn’t have to!

No, c’mon! It’s such a great time to get this on camera! Come on, tell us what just happened!

Well, I just scored a huge model contract with Calvin Klein - in Manhattan.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I’m so fucking proud of you, oh my God! Can you believe it-

No, fuck off, I can’t either! 

Oh! Calvin Klein!

...

I swear, you’re an angel sent to me-

Fuck off!

I’m serious! it’s so timely- I just can’t- I’m just so happy to have met you.

...

Well, you heard it first here, ladies and gentlemen. Eric Sohn is a new model for Calvin Klein - Manhattan.

[REC: APRIL 21, 2019 - 12:40PM] SOLO LOG #8

It is 12.40pm... April 21st, 2019. I’m finally back in my apartment after crashing at Eric’s for the last... 10 days? I think it was 10 days. My clothes were running out and I didn’t want to hike up his water bills so I just came back and- y’know did my own laundry.

...

Well, it’s- it’s been an absolute dream. The last thing I expected to... have, or meet? Here, is Eric. Um, but I know I’m probably going to regret this. Especially when May 22 comes. Uh... this is... it’s real bad. I mean, we’re great, y’know? But... it’s bad, because I know it’ll hurt. Like a bitch. When my time here is up, and I gotta go back to my reality, and Eric’s gotta stick to his. 

We haven’t really talked about it. May. I don’t think he wants to, and I don’t think I want to either. 50 days is too short. Either that, or I shouldn’t have come here in the first place. I shouldn’t have gone to the beach that day, in that hour. 

...

I just wish we had more time. I wish 24 hours were... maybe about 100 seconds more per minute. Does that make sense? 160 seconds per minute. Then again, I don’t think that’d solve my problem. I’ll still be on a ticking... time bomb. 

...

I know I shouldn’t say this. I know I can’t. I know I can’t afford to. But... I... I love him. I love Eric. With every... bit of me. It’s so... disgustingly cliché, but I feel so... comfortable with him. There’s really nothing we’d fight about, and even if we disagreed on something, we’d play it off like a debate, then forget about it the next day.

...

I love him. I do. And I’m going to regret this later. Without a doubt.

...

[REC: APRIL 27, 2019 - 2:02AM] SOLO LOG #9

-ou can see the stars?

I don’t know, that’s why I’m trying, sweet.

...

Can you see them?

Yeah, maybe if I just turn this ISO- Oh! I can kinda see the North Star-

Oh! Yeah, you can! It’s really feint though.

Right.

It’s okay, we can just lay it down here-

On the grass? Will your camera be fine?

Yeah, yeah, or else you can just put in on top of my bag- here.

...

Here, can you see me? Am I in frame?

Yeah, you’re in frame.

Okay, great. Now get over here!

...

I can taste the smoothie you had just now.

Too sweet?

A little.

...

Oh my God! Put me down! Oh- not there! It’s ticklish- AHHHHH!

...

y/n, I have something to tell you.

Mm? What is it?

...

Hello? Earth to Eric?

I... I love you. So much... and I can’t bear to see you go in May. 

Oh, Eric...

No, I- I don’t want you to stay- or even think about it, ‘cause, you have your priorities and I have mine y’know...

Mhm.

I just... I just wished we had more time. 

I do too. I really do.

...

Eric?

Hm?

I love you too.

...

...

...

[REC: MAY 1, 2019 - 4:23AM] SOLO LOG #10

1st May. 4...30? Am? I believe. Um, Eric’s sound asleep in his bed and I couldn’t sleep so I decided to do a log. 

...

I have... 3 weeks left. 4 weeks have gone past just like that, and I don’t know what to think about it. I came for a 50-day retreat. No stress, just myself and peace and quiet and tranquility and yet-

...

I- I don’t know if I can do this.

...

[REC: MAY 7, 2019 - 3:58PM] SOLO LOG #11

So, Eric’s in shoot right now and I’m on the way into the studio with some donuts and coffee to surprise him. I called his manager and asked if it was okay so- I’m pretty psyched to see his workspace. 

...

Hi, I’m y/n, I’m here to visit Eric?

Ah, okay! Hold on, let me just get you signed in with the pass-

Count me in!

You sure? This Saturday at the prep-party?

Yeah- Oh! 

Eric!

y/n! What are you doing here?

I wanted to surprise you. Am I... interrupting anything?

Oh, not at all!

You must be y/n! Eric’s told me so much about you!

Did he? And you are...?

I’m Chelsea! I’ve been attached to the same Calvin Klein contract he recently got, so you could say we’re colleagues!

Well, nice to meet you! Oh, right, these donuts and coffee are meant for you guys actually!

Oh! You’re too kind! Eric, you’re such a lucky man.

I know, she’s just... everything.

Anyway, thank you so much for these. I’ll bring them back down to the studio for the crew to share. But Eric’s pretty much done for the day actually, so you guys can leave if you want to!

Are you sure? Don’t you need help downstairs with the equipment?

No, no! It’s fine, there’re more than enough people downstairs. Go have your date, and maybe you can bring her along with you for the prep-party this weekend!

What’s the prep-party... preparing for?

Oh, you’re so adorable! It’s a prep-party for the end-of-May shoot we’re gonna have. it’s a collab with DAZED so it’s a pretty big project.

You never told me you were involved in a collab with DAZED.

I was gonna tell you today.

He has been pretty busy recently, maybe slipped his mind. Anyway, thank you so much for the donuts and I’ll hope to see you at the pier this Saturday, mm?

Yeah, sure. Thanks Chels.

No problem! It was so nice to meet you, y/n, I’ll see you Saturday!

Okay, bye!

Bye, Chelsea! It was nice to meet you!

Bye!

...

Sweet, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?

I wanted it to be a surprise. I thought you said you’d end pretty late?

The filming was cut short because the shots were better than expected so we ended early.

Oh, I wanted to film you while you were at work.

You have that on?

Yeah- why?

No, just wondering. 

Are you uncomfortable?

No, no, it’s just... I really didn’t expect you to come to the studio. 

...

[REC: MAY 11, 2019 - 11:12PM] SOLO LOG #12

It’s 11:12pm, 11th May, 2019. 11 days to departure.

...

I... saw... Chelsea and Eric... um, out by the garage- 

...

Well, I guess... it looked like they were just... having a really good talk. Or something. 

...

I left. I couldn’t watch it. So, I left without telling Eric. I did tell his boss that I wasn’t feeling well and I had to leave first. 

...

I guess this is the part where I regret it, isn’t it? Um... I don’t know... how... I’m gonna explain this to him when I see him again. Which is supposed to be- um- the rest of the night. I was supposed to go back to his place with him and I’ll stay for the weekend before I come back to pack my things, so-

...

y/n, are you home?

...

shit.

y/n, I know you’re home. I heard you talking. Open the door, I need to talk to you.

...

[REC: MAY 12, 2019 - 2:00AM] SOLO LOG #13

...

I look like shit, don’t I? God, my eyes hurt like a bitch. 

...

I don’t think I need to say what just happened for you to guess what just happened, right? This... says it all. 

...

Fuck. 

...

I shouldn’t have come here. How did- How did my retreat turn out- turn out like this? 

...

This is- This is too much. Too much in too short... of a time. 

...

I don’t think... I don’t think I can do it. Not anymore. 

...

[REC: MAY 19, 2019 - 9:59AM] SOLO LOG #14

It’s May 19th, 2019, almost 10am. I just came back from a morning walk by the beach just to... reminisce a little before I leave on Wednesday. 

...

I... haven’t seen Eric since the prep-party. I blocked him and I told him not to come over, though I think he has, like, a few times. I thought I heard someone come up to my door, but he never knocked. 

...

So, this is how it ends, huh? A 50-day romance cut short like that. Into about, 40? 

...

It’s crazy to think that I had... the experience of a whole relationship in 40 days. I definitely did not sign up for that when I booked this 50-day retreat. 

...

It was fun while it lasted, though. It was. I don’t think I’d find anybody else like Eric, and I guess it just sucks that it had to end like that. Things happen, right? That aren’t... in our control. 

...

...

...

[REC: MAY 21, 2019 - 8:07PM] SOLO LOG #15

May 21st. About 8pm. I leave in about 15 hours. 

...

All my stuff’s packed. Definitely more things to bring home than I brought here. Half of these things were bought by Eric and given to me. I’m... actually not sure if I should bring them back. 

...

I don’t- I just don’t think I’d have the heart to throw them away.

...

Nor look at them when I’m home. 

...

Should I even bring this camera home? Maybe I should wipe your memory before I bring you home, hmm?

...

It feels like a dream, doesn’t it? Everything that’s happened. It feels like a fever dream. Maybe when I’m finally home, I’d wake up and it’d be the day I come here.

...

Maybe.

...

[REC: MAY 22, 2019 - 10:03AM] SOLO LOG #16

-ny more luggage?

Nope.

Alright then, I think you’re all set. You still have about an hour’s time before the gates are open so you can get a cup of coffee or something, yeah?

Okay, thank you!

Have a nice flight ma’am.

Thanks.

...

Good evening ma’am, can I check your boarding pass?

Yeah, sure.

...

Okay, you’re good to go. Have a safe flight.

Thank you!

...

[REC: MAY 22, 2019 - 11:34AM] SOLO LOG #17

It is about 11.30am and I’m on the flight, and here’s the view outside. Sky’s pretty clear and this thing says that the weather’s great so, it should be a smooth flight without turbulence.

...

This is it. This is really it. 

...

...

...

Um-

Hi, ma’am, I’m gonna need you to keep your camcorder.

Oh! Yeah, sure, sure, sorry!

[REC: APRIL 2, 2020 - 12:48AM] ERIC LOG #1

Wow, this is... weird. How did you do this last year?

...

Um, hi. y/n. If you’re watching this then I’ve somehow managed to get this synced into your camera by some weird... bluetooth, iCloud shit that Felix helped me figure out. 

...

It’s been a year. And... I just thought you should... see this, or hear me out, at least. I know we didn’t end on the best terms... and I’m sorry. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have yelled at you for being unreasonable for something that was... suspicious. I should’ve understood. 

...

I should’ve been there. To see you off. And I’m sorry I didn’t. I... was scared, that I wouldn’t be able to let you go if I went to send you off. I was a coward. I still am. 

...

But I do want you to know that... those 50 days were the best days of my life. Albeit it ended horribly, but nothing could... nothing- nothing will ever replace what happened last April. 

...

I said I love you and... I still do. Every day I think about you and your smile and your voice and- and I cry to sleep... worrying that I’d forget how you sound like, or how you laugh and how... how you smell like. My bed smelt like you even after you left. 

...

I just- I love you. And I miss you. And I’d do anything to go back to what we had. I’d do anything to get- to get you back. 

...

I’m sorry.

...

the clip comes to an automatic stop. the white triangle slapped onto the screen, begging you to play it again. you look up from the screen, watching the famous calvin klein ad that hasn’t stopped playing in the last month. 

he hasn’t changed one bit. not his hair, not his smile, not his voice. 

it’s a bittersweet pot of memory stashed in the back of your head when the memories flood back. looking back down at the camera, you count back the days - it was synced just last night. 

the pile of tissues by your thighs are carelessly huddled into the bin next to your feet, mentally berating yourself for going through the memory instead of formatting it. 

you stand, fingers shutting the screen back onto its body with a soft click. the tv blacks out when you press the red button on its remote. 

you’re halfway into your kitchen when there’s a knock at your door, and you immediately gasp, blinking rapidly.

“oh, it’s my fucking projector!”

rushing to the door, you don’t hesitate to get the door open. 

and yet, like the heavens were providing you with all the light to stop you from doubting yourself, your lungs empty themselves like vacuums. 

your heart stops.

your breathing stops.

“eric... what are you doing here?”

[syubub]

Yoongi birthday reading/energy check!!

It's sweet sweet tangerine bois birthday!!

I wanted to do a cute little energy check up to see what's up and ask some fun little questions!!

I'm excited so let's just do this shit!!

Disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact!!

---

I want to apologize for the absolute shit pictures but what's new lol

So, let's start with the platform. First thing I noticed was the blue was brighter but the platform was darker? It was like someone cranked up the contrast to 100. Ngl it looked pretty cool. Yoongis platform doesn't typically have a barrier like some of the others do so I just kinda walked in and did the whole, "happy birthday, I have questions" His energy seemed a lot more... vibrant? And playful I guess? It was really nice. Now. The actual connection was intresting because the cord was blue again and like, real thick. (I don't think my perceived thickness of the cord has and real correlation with how strong the connection is. It was just thicc) this time though, the cord was connected at the chest instead of the third eye. So i was like, ??? But my guide didn't give my any sort of helpful input (my guide likes to watch me suffer in my confusion. I'm sure of it)

Anyway, cord like that and then yoobi gave me a headbutt to connect at the third eye. Idk why he gotta be like that :( istg next time he's gonna flick my forehead or something.

I was like "cool cool cool. I want to do the reading now pls" and idk how to explain the energy other than sassy. You know? Blah blah blah I'm thinking, "I don't remember him being so cheeky but maybe I've been gone long enough for him to level up into his final sass monster form"

Anywho, this was intresting because after the little strings were connected and stuff, we plopped down on the floor. And it was like everything I was doing irl was being mimicked infront of yoons energy? So we were sitting facing eachother and I was putting the cards down between us?? Usually that doesn't happen but it was kinda fun!!

Moving right along. I first asked if there was anything he wanted to say or needed to get across and it was 11. Now, 11 has come up before and I'm still not to sure what it's in reference to? My best guess is possibly he's been seeing 11:11 or that it's 2? Idk let me know if you have any clues lol. Other stuff was just kinda banter and stuff.

So so so.

The reading. First thing I asked was how he was doing. And I shuffled his preticular way (when I ask a question I always ask for the energy to tell me how much to shuffle or when to stop. For yoongi it's always 2-2-2. So 2 bridge shuffles, 2 hand shuffles and then split the pile in 2. That's why I think 11 might be 2 to him?)

The cards we got are ace of swords rev, justice,the heirophant rev, the empress.

So based off this I was like okay. I want to pull clarity cards for the two rev cards to get a better picture so I pulled the emperor rev for ace or swords rev and strength rev and wheel of fortune rev for the heirophant rev.

Starting with the ace of swords rev, and the emperor reverse. It seems like yoongi has been re thinking his relationship to control in his life. That's he's possibly noticing any unhealthy needs to control his life and the situation around him. It could also refer to his judgment being clouded by a rigid approach.

With the justice card it makes me think that he's possibly considering a big choice in his life or that he's really doing some deconstructing of his own views. This second idea fits in well with him getting clarity on some possibly unhealthy control issues in his life.

Now. The heirophant rev, strength rev and wheel of fortune reverse. This was intresting to me bc they are all major arcana. The heirophant rev can really talk about no longer needing outside approval and making your own way in your own time bc you are your own teacher. Strength in rev I kinda read as self doubt and feeling down in this case. Like a lack of confidence in himself and his abilities. And the wheel of fortune in reverse I took to mean as his breaking cycles. All together these cards kinda paint a picture about wanting and trying to break a cycle of self doubt and self limiting beliefs and learning more about himself and why he think what he does about himself and searching through everything for truth. It's really good!! In short he's doing some nice soul searching and trusting himself to guide his own way through this self discovery!

The empress! This card seems to pop up for yoobi a lot and I think it really speaks to the abundance that surrounds him! Not just money but the abundance of creativity, love, friends ect.

Now now now. I asked him if there was anything that he wanted to tell us about himself or bts or what's happening in the near future. For that I got 2 of cups, king of wands and 3 of coins.

So the 2 of cups is partnership. Usually romantic. Could be pertaining to the may 13th thing that is ever present lol but I'll get to that later. With the 3 of coins talking about teamwork, this could definitely hint at collaborations coming up!! That's the vibe I get. No one crush my dreams. And for the king of wands it could be talking about taking the reigns on a new project and starting to get it done. Like a new opportunity. This could be a new bts project like starting a new campaign or new venture or maybe personal like the a mixtape or doing more songs for other groups ect.

I had to ask him how he was feeling about the grammys. I had to. Had to. The cards were ace of wands, 2 of wands and death reverse. When these came flying out I could help but smile. Yoongis energy was almost giddy too!

Witht he ace of wands

It's that spark of creativity and inspiration. It's that feeling when you get super excited over some new thing. I think this is the perfect example for feeling reinvigorated. The 2 of wands takes that spark from the ace and tries to funnel that excitement and newness into something directional. Using that burst of creativity to start planning for future progress!! Its so nice to see that! If they don't win (IF) you bet we're gonna get some bangers about a corrupt system. If (WHEN) they do win we'll get bangers about how thankful they are to have gotten where they are in spite of a corrupt system. I just want to hear an uncensored version of yoongi being like, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WE DID IT BITCHES. FUCK ALL YOU BASTARDS THAT SAID WE COULDN'T."

I can dream....

What a nice dream.

Now I asked if there was anything yoobi wanted to say to us as in advice or comfort or anything like that and I got, Clearing negativity, make time for self care, when I'm tuned into the energy of abundance I become abundant. when I'm in a state of appreciation im in vibrational alignment with my true love nature. The world rev, 2 of swords rev and that project, that person, that idea is waiting.

Awe. Take care of yourselves!! Make sure to take time to enjoy what you like and try not to let any negativity get in the way of you enjoying your days. The world rev to me seems to be talking about seeking closure on the things in your life that have been impacting you. Tie up those loose ends so you can move foward without triping over yourself and 2 of swords rev I think talks about information overload and being kinda indecisive bc of that. Take a sep back to evaluate the situation at hand because sometimes it's so close you can't see what you're looking for. Those of you who are studying and getting frustrated because you just can't seem to get it, try taking a step back and doing something to take care of yourself and come back to it so you can approach with a clearer mind. Try not to get stuck or paralyzed by choice but if you do get stuck, take some time to detach yourself from the situation and come back later!

A fair few people wanted an update on yoobis soulmate as well. If you need a refresher here's the run down. Yoongis soulmate is impossible for me to read, yoongi is a smug ass and I'm nosy and probably a little dumb.

Now that that's cleared up

I asked, "am I missing something?" (As to why I can't connect and why yoongi won't give me answers.)

I got queen of cups, magician and the high priestess. I read this as him being like, "yeah dude, you aren't woke enough"

YOONGI just give me answers pls. The high priestess is intuition and sacred knowledge, the magician is manifestation and the queen of cups is also intuition.

At this point I was like, okay you little shit, can you at least tell me how your soulmate is doing? Can you do that for me?

2 of cups, 2 of pentacles, 9 of wands and knight of wands. 2 of cups is partnership usually romantic, 2 of pentacles is priorities and managing them, 9 of wands persistence, knight of wands motivation for a new thing. His soulmate last time was in the process of going through some shit and figuring it out and it seems like now they've got a better clue of how to move foward and are currently heading towards good things/ important things in their life (possibly like working towards dream career or had an idea for a business the want to start or field they want to go in.)

I was thinking about the next question when this popped into my head, "if you know about your akashic book, do you know about your soulmates? Have you read it?" I used my pendulum. No movement at all. What so ever. "Are you listening to me?" Yes. "So answer my question please" No. "Do you like to watch me suffer?" Maybe. "Do you know the answer to the question" yes.

YOONGI WHY

This cheeky son of a bitch.

Now I was like, fuck it. Imma ask him the big boi question.

"Is your soulmate present when I do these readings?" Yes.

WHY THE FUCK CAN I NIT PICK UP ON IT???

I had to take a deep breath dude. Yoobi is testing my nerves.

"Are they hiding their energy?" No.

I was actually gonna combust. This makes no sense.

I asked yoongi if he would tell me what I'm not getting. Silence. So i ask my guide.

"lol ur dumb"

Watch me Google "how to fire your spirit guide"

Istg this feels like some dumb prank. Maybe I'm just genuinely oblivious to his soulmates energy or maybe I'm just doing something.

What do you want to bet that his soulmate is just hiding under the platform and I'm too stupid to notice or some dumb thing like that.

yoobi, sir, why must you do this?

I decided to continue.

"What message or thing have you learned from your soulmate recently that could be valuable to us?" I got healthy communication in relationships and deep replenishment.

Good to know you can have a nice communicative relationship with your soulmate bc I CAN'T.

I'm petty about it, sue me.

The message does stand though. Good communication and taking proper rest to replenish yourself.

Now I had to ask yoongi directly what he thought of may 13th.

I got the lovers, 7 of swords, the magician and judgement. The seven of swords was intresting and it makes me think there's some extra stuff at play here too. 7 of swords is about getting away with something and deceit. The clarifier was the magician.... this could mean a lot honestly. It could be that maybe yoongi will have his relationship exposed or possibly that maybe him and his soulmate meet but yoongi is disguised? Idk how that would work at all but I'm stumped. There's a lot of variations that this could be. The magician is about manifesting and having everything you need to create what you want. This could possibly mean that maybe he gets a sudden idea that's like, "oh I have to go here right now. Its super important" eventhough he has practice scheduled. So that would let down his team but he would be following his path and it might lead to him meeting his soulmate? Maybe vice versa? Idk let me know what you think??

With the judgement its about inner calling and kinda like the peak. Like shit has been leading up to this moment. With the lovers too it does seem like a union?

I asked him, "but like what's gonna happen on the 13th thought and I got the 10 of cups. Divine love, bliss, alignment, happy mushy gushy shit. This is why I'm so inclined to think that they'll meet on the 13th or things will get serious or their paths finally cross. The cards seem to heavily suggest that.

My dude. Yoongi is really sappy, pass it on.

For the last question I asked yoomgi if there was messages/ advice he had given to his soulmate that we might benefit from.

First step, open your third eye, open your heart, sign from heaven, open your arms to receiving.

A lot of opening lol.

It's good advice though learning to be open and receptive and taking that first step in tackling life or any situation.

Oki. Now for the disconnecting. It was not nearly as strange as it has been in the past. I was just like thanks dude. Again, happy birthday blah blah and I got up to leave. I noticed it looked like we were in sitting in one of those old plastic hoola hoops? Like the pink and yellow ones lol. As I was looking at and and like??? Off to the side the numbers 13, 28, 54. Obvi 54 isn't a date and then I the last yoongi check up there was book pages and I feel like 54 and 28 were the pages?? I'm not actually sure as I'm writing this so I'm gonna check.

Yep I checked. They are the page #s.

So that's intresting.

Other than that though I just kinda left and he was like, "bye" and that's all.

Not as cool as other yoongi adventures but equally as frustrating.

TLDR

Yoongis doing pretty okay and he's a cheeky little shit. My guide like to watch me suffer and yoobi is mushy gushy squishy.

Happy day of birth Syub!!

[ryeguns]

having premade lore, while really cool, is now the precedent and is kinda slowing down the lore, where newly added ccs feel a TON of pressure because they feel that’s the expectation, and increasing this whole “lore/semi lore” divide is kind of amping this. I’m fine with scheduled lore but there needs to be a balance the smp isn’t hitting rn bc people feel like they can’t live up to expectations(but they don’t have to really!! It’s a big collaborative project but if no one logs on a lot of the scheduled lore loses its impact)

YEA!!! I went on a whole rant on twitter about this kinda. Semi-about this more like.

the last thing i watched was one of quackity's streams. i'm personally not a big fan of planned lore, i mean it can be good, but in the way theyre doing it its just? eh... i liked the dream smp way much more back during the election era and stuff, where everything was mostly improv with minor scripting. hell, even like. the exile arc and shit was super good. i feel like currently its just..too written out. and like theres ONLY lore. the lore is good, but what i liked was the mix of lore and then just them generally goofing around.

i also feel like ccs dont really enjoy making dsmp related stuff anymore. like...wilbur has moved on to do music, tommy is doing vlogs, and so on. its clear to see they have no real interest in it anymore (atleast not to the extent they used to have) which also just gets rid of the spark as well. it feels like theyre just continuing the dsmp just because the fans like it. like how a movie studio goes and makes a sequel of a really popular film but the sequel is shit and there was no real point in having it as the original film was enough.

imo i think they need to end the dream smp. yea itll hurt, no doubt, i love the dsmp and its helped me get through 2020 and a load of things but its kind of just sad watching it fade away without a proper farewell. sometimes its just better to end something off on a good note rather than push it and end it when its bad.

and its not like we will be lacking something thats like the dream smp - theres SO many lore-focused smps out there now from smaller and bigger creators alike. it hurts to see the dsmp pointlessly continued. the story was told, it was good, but its time to end it...

[ceealaina]

Title: Mind Control Collaborator Name: ceealaina Card: 4008 Link: AO3 Square Filled: S1 - Technopathy Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Teen Major Tags: Technopathy, MIT Era, Fluff and Humor, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting Summary: Rhodey always knew that Tony was special. He just hadn't realized how special. Word Count: 2749

Rhodey had always known there was something different about Tony, something special — something beyond being heir to one of the biggest fortunes in the world. Despite all his bravado when they’d first met, it had been clear what a genuinely good person Tony was. He was unfailingly kind, generous to a fault. He was special.

But for all his observations, it was almost two years of calling Tony his best friend (and six months of calling him his boyfriend) before Rhodey had realized just how special. 

They’d moved in together after their first year, deciding that dorm life was not for them. The apartment was tiny and crappy, but it was theirs. And sure, they could have had top of the line everything with Tony’s trust fund, but millions or no, Rhodey insisted on paying his own way. (It was, Tony had declared one night when they were drunkenly celebrating the end of the semester, one of the things he loved best about Rhodey.) 

Which was how they ended up with the world’s most temperamental television set, some old thing that Rhodey had found on the side of the road, lugged home and bullied into working. Tony may have been the tech genius, but Rhodey was no slouch when it came to electronics himself, and this was his baby, his responsibility to take care of when she broke — which happened once every couple weeks. 

So when she finally broke to the point that even Rhodey had to admit defeat, to classify her as unrepairable, it hurt him more than he liked to admit. He knew it was foolish, but he couldn’t help giving her a quiet little goodbye, patting her on the top of her box and thanking her for all her hard work. 

Which, of course, was exactly when Tony had walked into the room. 

“Ummm.” Tony had his lips pressed tightly together, fighting back a smile, but Rhodey could see it curling at the corners of his mouth anyway. “Everything okay there, bud?”

Rhodey didn’t even try to pretend he wasn’t upset, just sighed heavily. “Betsy finally kicked it.”

“Betsy?” Tony repeated with an arched brow. “Sounds like somebody Captain America would have dated.” But he dropped his bag in the doorway, making his way over to the television in question. “Want me to take a look?” 

Rhodey gave a half-hearted, forlorn shrug, and Tony didn’t even have the grace to pretend he wasn’t laughing at him as he pulled the TV out, poking at the back of it. 

“Come on baby,” he purred, manipulating the wires. “Tell me what’s going on, yeah?” He talked away to the TV as he worked, pausing for breaks like it was a conversation, and Rhodey quirked his head as he watched him. There was something odd about the way Tony was working, something he couldn’t quite figure out. Rhodey had a tendency to talk out loud while he worked too, but this was different, like Tony was actually listening to a response. And then, after a few moments, Tony gave out a “Ha! There you are,” fiddled with something, and Betsy sparked to life again. 

“Holy shit,” Rhodey said, because he’d been working on the TV set for hours, and he hadn’t the idea of writing her off lightly. “How did you do that?” 

Tony shrugged, but he looked pleased as he rocked back onto his feet, wiping at a spot of grease on the side of his thumb. “I just listened to her, you know?” 

Rhodey just arched an eyebrow, because no, he didn’t really know. “Uh… Sure?” 

Tony just grinned wide and grabbed his bag to dump in his room. “Pizza tonight?” 

***

That might have been it, except that Rhodey kept noticing it after that. He’d always thought Tony talked to the coffeemaker like that because he loved coffee so much, but then the coffee always somehow tasted ninety times better when Tony made it. And he seemed to have uncanny luck when it came to traffic lights. Like in a way that Rhodey was pretty sure actually defied the laws of probability. And somehow their highly temperamental oven never seemed to burn the frozen pizzas that Tony put in, even though he could barely cook to save his life, and Rhodey -- who actually could cook, thank you very much -- always managed to burn his pizzas to a crisp. 

And then there was the ROTC Christmas party. The ROTC Christmas party always turned into a drunk fest, and Rhodey was no exception to the rule. He’d been looking forward to it since his second week of classes. Tony had been finishing up his final project for one of his classes anyway, so he’d promised to pick Rhodey up after, saving him from having to drunkenly stumble his way home. But he’d been late, and Rhodey had been waiting outside for nearly twenty minutes, distracted by the lightly falling snow, before Tony rolled up in his car. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Tony called, leaving the car running as he jumped out of the driver’s seat and hurried over to help Rhodey through the snow. “I couldn’t find my goddamn keys.” 

“I’m not so drunk I can’t walk,” Rhodey protested, unable to help the way his words all rolled together. “You don’t have to help me.” Tony’s hand on his arm was warm and comforting though, and he made no effort to pull it away. 

Tony just grinned at him and then reached up, brushing off the snow that had gathered on Rhodey’s bare head. “Why didn’t you wait inside, dumbass?” he asked.

Rhodey shrugged as Tony helped him into the car, pushing his head down so he wouldn’t smack it into the doorframe. “Got distracted by the snowflakes.” The fond smile that Tony gave him in return made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside and he snuggled into the cushy leather, watching Tony through the windshield as he hurried back around to the driver’s side and climbed in after him. 

“Here,” Tony said, turning the heat up until it was full blast. “You’re gonna freeze to death.” 

“I’m fine,” Rhodey protested. “I’m not even cold.” 

“You’re frozen,” Tony told him, grabbing his hands and rubbing them between his own hot ones. “You’re just too drunk to realize it.” 

Rhodey was pretty sure that wasn’t true, but the heat did feel nice, making him drowsy and lazy as Tony headed back toward the apartment. His eyes were getting heavy, now that the party was over, and he fell asleep not long after. 

But when he thought about it later, he could have sworn that there hadn’t been any keys in the ignition when his eyes had closed. 

Still, he probably could have written all of that off (maybe Tony had panicked when he couldn’t find his keys and hotwired his own car. That was totally something he would do) until the incident with the music. 

Rhodey had had a very long day, and felt like his head was splitting apart with a headache. All he had wanted was to go home and sleep for the next twenty-four hours, but he’d had to stop by Tony’s lab and tell him something that had seemed important at the time. Of course when he’d walked in there was music playing at an excruciatingly loud decibel, and no sign of Tony among all the bits of machinery. It was too loud for him to even hear himself think, let alone for Tony to hear if he called his name, and not in the mood to play hide and go seek, he’d headed over to the top-of-the-line stereo system and hit the pause button. 

The music kept playing

“What the fuck,” Rhodey grumbled, blinking down at it as he tried to will his brain to work. He hit the button again, wondering if he’d hit the wrong one or something, headache making him stupid, but still the music continued to blare out through the speakers. 

Of course, Tony was constantly taking things apart and putting them back together when he was trying to problem solve. He’d probably rewired it so that off was on and vice versa. Rhodey was too tired to try and figure out what button went where, so he just reached around back and pulled the cord right out of the socket on the wall. 

And the music kept playing. 

“What the fuck?” he shrieked, suddenly wide awake as he jumped back with the cord still in his hand. He pulled a little too hard, and the entire system fell to the floor with a loud crash, but the music still didn’t stop. 

And then: “Rhodey?” 

Rhodey just barely heard Tony’s voice over all the noise, but he whirled around to see Tony standing there with his arms full of spare parts, eyes wide and distressed. Abruptly the music cut off, the room going suddenly, eerily quiet. Rhodey blinked back at Tony, down at the stereo and the cord still in his hand, and then back at Tony. 

“Was this you?” 

“Listen,” Tony nearly tripped over his own feet as he stumbled over to the counter to set the things in his arms down, moving over to Rhodey with his hands held up in a placating motion, like he was terrified that Rhodey was going to run away in fear. “Rhodey, I can explain, I swear. It’s not what it looks like.” 

“Can you control electronics with your mind?” 

Tony’s face fell, and he winced. “Okay, maybe it is kinda what it looks like,” he muttered, staring down at his feet, and for the life of him Rhodey couldn’t figure out why he looked so dejected. 

“Holy shit, Tones,” he breathed, looking around the room with a new appreciation for everything Tony had in there. He grabbed Tony by the forearms. “This is awesome.” 

Tony’s head shot back up, staring at Rhodey with a startled expression. “Awesome?” he repeated, incredulously. The hint of a nervous smile twitched at his lips, like he didn’t want to get his hopes up. “You really think so?” 

Rhodey’s eyes narrowed slightly; he’d known Tony long enough to be all too familiar with the symptoms of Howard Stark’s A+ parenting. “Tony, let me say it again. You can control electronics with your mind. This is the coolest thing I’ve ever heard of! In the first place, I'm pretty sure this qualifies you as a bona fide superhero. And even as far as superpowers go, this is waaaay up there in coolness factor. You could have something lame like cheese manipulation--”

“Cheese manipulation?” Tony repeated, looking confused.  

“But let me say it again. You can control electronics with your mind.”

Tony snorted, but he was grinning now, shy and pleased. “I don’t know about superhero,” he protested. “But thanks. I guess. Although I feel like I should point out, it’s not like I actually did anything.” 

Rhodey ignored that. “How long has this been going on?” he asked instead, finally letting go of Tony’s arms. “Have you always known you could do this? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me sooner.” 

“I mean…” Tony shrugged, rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck. “Yeah? But when I was a kid I just thought it was normal. It wasn’t like I was around a whole lot of people, I just figured everyone could turn the lights on by thinking about it. And then when I was like five, Howard had a whole entire day where he actually remembered he was actually my dad, and he was showing me something in his lab, and I was so excited to be working with him that my dumb ass said something about being able to hear the electronics and, well… You know Howard.” He shrugged a little, seeming to shrink in on himself. “He looked at me like I was nuts -- like really nuts -- and made me leave, and then later that night I couldn’t sleep and I snuck out of bed to find Jarvis and I heard him whispering to Mom about psychiatrists and mental hospitals and sending me away. Obviously that didn’t happen, and when I didn’t bring it up again they forgot about it, but I guess after that I was scared to ever mention it to anyone.” 

Rhodey blanched. He’d seen the pictures of Tony as a little kid, heard the stories from Jarvis. He couldn’t imagine even considering sending away that sweet little thing to a mental hospital for something as innocuous as telling his father he could ‘hear’ the television. Not for the first time, Rhodey wondered what in the actual fuck was wrong with Howard Stark. He managed a smile for Tony though. 

“Guess I’m just special then, huh?” 

Tony huffed and rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help his little smile. “Yeah, I guess so.” 

Rhodey huffed right back at him. “Jesus Christ, quit looking so pathetic, you’re breaking my heart.” He wrapped his arms around Tony’s back, smiling to himself at the way Tony immediately melted into it, wrapping his arms around Rhodey’s waist in turn and leaning into his chest, despite the minimal height difference between them. “Listen, Tones. I know your dad’s got money, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a fucking moron. Howard sucks. This is literally the coolest thing to ever happen to me, and it’s not even happening to me.” 

There was a little giggle against his chest before Tony pulled back again. “Yeah?” he asked, smiling but still looking awkward. He let go of Rhodey’s waist and gave a little shrug. “I don’t know, I guess maybe I also kind of always felt like I’m cheating?” 

“Cheating?” Rhodey stared blankly back at him. “I don’t get it.” 

Tony shrugged again, somehow looking even more awkward. “Well you know. People give me all this credit for being smart, and good with tech and--,” 

“Nope,” Rhodey hollered as he figured out exactly where Tony was going with this. “Let’s just shut that shit down right now. You're using your natural talents to the best of your abilities. Would you consider…” 

He trailed off, trying to think of a good example, and Tony arched an eyebrow at him. 

“Captain America having the ‘ability’ to take on a tank cheating?” he offered with a wry grin. “Yeah, I absolutely would.” 

“Nope,” Rhodey said again. “Not the same at all.” 

“You’re the one who literally just compared me to a superhero,” Tony grumbled, but his smile looked a little more genuine now. 

“Still, not the same,” Rhodey insisted. “You were born with this, it’s not something you injected into your eyeballs.” 

“I don’t think…” Tony started, but stopped at the look on Rhodey’s face. 

“You’re not cheating any more than... Stephen Hawking is cheating,” Rhodey decided on finally. “He uses his brain to the best of its ability, and so do you. Besides, lotsa people have natural talent without a clue what to do with it. You’ve got both, so… Not a cheater.” 

“That’s a terrible conclusion. Not a bit of proof. It’s a hypothesis at best.” Tony was grinning though, that shy little smile that he got when he didn’t want Rhodey to know exactly how pleased he was. 

“I’m serious, Tones,” Rhodey insisted, because the best way to get Tony to really relax was to bully him into it. “This? Is cool. Think about all the things we can do with this!” 

“‘We?’” Tony repeated, voice dry. 

Rhodey ignored him. “You can fix my car for me... I’m never going to have to change a lightbulb again...” 

“You’re definitely still going to have to do that, that’s not how electricity works.” 

“You can get revenge on that asshole at the coffee shop who always makes my coffee wrong. Swear he does it on purpose,” Rhodey continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “Hey! Can you do that thing in the movies, when you make money shoot out of the ATM?” 

Tony snorted, but he was fully beaming now, concerns apparently forgotten. “This all sounds like a whole lot of me doing the work while you get the benefit. What’s in it for me?” 

“Tony, baby.” Rhodey threw his arm over Tony’s shoulder and gave him his most obnoxious wink. “That’s what friends are for.” 

He waggled his eyebrows at him and headed for the door, busting up laughing when all he got was an indignant, “We’re boyfriends, asshole,” from behind him.

@tonystarkbingo  

[fmdjaewonarchive]

hi there famed, its ur least favorite idiot jamie again, back on my usual bs of saying im going to get my shit together, dipping to go on hiatus and then returning with a plotting call. school has just been kicking my ass and i’m a little bitch. i have yet to give a rundown on my muses (jaewon/yuanjun/minah/yena) during q2 so i’ll be leaving a rundown of that below the cut and with that offering hopefully some plotting ideas, i mainly need more stuff on jaewon and minah but anyting is welcome really. if you wanna work some plotting stuff out pls like this post, slide into my ims or just hmu on d*sc*rd (which, feel free to ask for if you don’t have it yet!!!)

first things first i have a bunch of base prompts available (here!)

jaewon:

april was largely spend finishing up his solo projects and preparing for unity’s comeback

also there was that champion concert in japan that should be a big deal but truly jaewon didn’t give a fuck

from march 3 - june 3 unity will be promoting make a wish and honestly jaewon is vibing

resonance does really well, he’s surprisingly not naked on stage for unity standards and he just gets to first and foremost focus on unity and their progress so he’s super content

he’s still super busy tho, between unity stuff he has an upcoming portal song which as will be revealed is more or less an elaborate teaser for his first solo concert which will be held in july just after his birthday

it doesn’t take up an awful lot of his time yet but preparations are starting up and it’s definitely on his mind already

he also has an ost for sweet home coming up which, doesn’t rlly offer a lot of plotting wise but considering that its first ost it is an indicator that dimensions are more dedicated than ever to keep him in the public eye and talked about after his last album did pretty well, which is a good sign for him and his creative freedom

but yeah i think... we’re getting generally happy and content jaewon again for a bit? which means he’ll be less awful and snappy to deal with

yuanjun:

left & right has wrapped up by now and yuanjun had fun, it wasn’t very challenging but he had fun

charm seems very busy with japanese promotions and stuff but it doesn’t seem to be taking up that much time

while other charm members are busier with doing stuff for their personal careers yuanjun is just... kind of not

the radio show is still going steady but that’s the most consistent thing

he tries to do some more stuff for his youtube channel, on the one hand because he has time on his hands and wants to do cool things

on the other hand because he likes proving he’s more amusing than the base online youtube channel (he’s kidding... kinda... not rlly)

so yeah, relatively a lot of free time, will be used to annoy his friends

minah: 

loads of lipstick things 

first minah is ticket one way’ing after that they quickly move on hurt locker prep

she doesn’t love either comeback but they’re nice, she enjoys the time with her members and is proud of them as ever

there is a lot of switching back and forth between her own work and lipstick music 

she’s releasing a single in late may that she’s working very hard for

and then there is her first full album all the way down in august but she’s already doing songwriting for it 

anyone willing to take them to some nice inspirational spots to aid the songwriting is very fair

apart from that minah might be hard to get a hold off

when you do, she’ll be very scatterminded and all over the place, seemingly constantly busy trying to keep up with anything though she will claim it’s fine, no stress at all

yena:

good news, the world of the married starts airing early may

bad news, gal.actic has a comeback like one week later

she won’t be allowed to bask much in her newly found acting fame and will spend all of fri.sat.sun complaining about how she has better shit to do

there is we are legendary for collaborate as well which, again, yena doesn’t care for being here, she just wants to go home

but back to the first point, the world of the married does rlly well for her, like, really well, earning her a lot of recognition outside of gal.actic

ofc she’ll be dealing with some shit ab how she’s perfect for the role of a spoiled homewrecker breaking up a married couple but whatever yena is too busy being rich and sexy to care

she will be in super high spirits about it, will take talking about the drama over talking about gal.actic any day of the year

will take any excuse to celebrate the drama’s succes rlly

just good yena wild party girls antics now she feels a bit more secure in what she’s doing and acting seems more and more viable as a sustainable future

[chimtaera]

imagine model namjoon.

ok let’s not kid ourselves

boy’s already a model

he’s got the body.

got the looks.

what can i say, he’s no super model (too clumsy), but he get’s around with the more diverse castings yanno

probably got started on instagram,

with his #kimdaily outfits

which are sometimes just chill, pretty, sporty, casual, cool

and other times completely wacky and just ??? how did you even think to wear those ??? at the same time?? together ???

he always looks good tho

but some looks will give you whiplash. ur warned.

but that’s part of his appeal tbh

hhhh probably gains a lot of popularity when one of those more ‘out there’ outfits circulates on twitter or reddit and people are like “hOW does he make that work??? why does it look good??? is he just that hot??”

the answer is yes.

from there he builds a solid following.

for his great looks, great fashion sense, and his 4am instagram stories that are just a black pic with like a three paragraph text about how rain might feel if it had feelings.

also, solid music recommendations omg 

you probably make ur own spotify playlist with just his recommendations.

ok ok so you best bELIEVE when this boy finally gets cast for a show he’s gonna fall on his ass and go viral

claim to fame baby

probably becomes a meme and rolls with it tbh

like he’ll share the memes in his story, so as not to ruin the ・ﾟ:*aesthetic*:・ﾟand react to them and shit

but then also get on live and talk at length about how faceplanting on the catwalk impacts your self-esteem, how he’s habit he could benefit positively from such an embarrassing moment, and how there’s a lesson for everyone here, and that he hopes all our embarrassing moments may in some way benefit us one day.

he’s such a sweetheart im-

so you might be a stylist?

a hair stylist?

makeup artist?

fellow model?

whatever you’re comfortable with.

you definitely see him on instagram first tho

you came for the memes but are super impressed with his profile and end up staying for the music.

...... and him.

he’s hot, come on.

also 90% of networking is done on instagram these days let us be real.

okay so oNE DAY, or like late evening, who cares

he post a music recommendation and you’re like !!!!!!!!

it’s that low key indie band with like only one EP out that you found on some obscure spotify playlist and you’ve been jamming to since october

and apparently namjoon has too because they’ve released a new single and you didn’t even know ????

and you’re so excited your fingers slip and oopsie you’ve sent a short but rambling message explaining exactly that into his DM’s

instant regret.

then the anxiety bubbles up in you.

and then you calm yourself and convince yourself that he gets a LOT of messages he probably won’t even see yours, so it’s fine it’s fine it’s-

next morning you have a reply

a new follow

and a mcfUCKING LIKE ON A PICTURE OF YOU FROM TWO WEEKS AGO

yikes, you didn’t even have time to give your feed a spring cleaning

you just like his short “ikr!!!!”, too mortified to reply.

alas, the regrets!

but also

the butterflies.

then you see him at an event one time.

it’s fashion week, you’re hecking busy and about to leave because it’s like midnight and you’ve got places to be tomorrow

but it’s always so strange to see people from insta irl like ??? all those dimensions??? you really be lookign like that ??? damn.

once you’ve stared long enough to be certain that’s actually what he looks like (so handome!!! so tall!!!! wtf!!!! who allowed this??) you turn to leave just as he glances up and cetches your eye for like the tiniest fraction of a second

and you hightail it outta there and hope to heaven he doesn’t know you were staring.

but he likes your pic from the party the next morning and you almost choke on your coffee and the lump in your throat stays there all day

and you’re like, am i?? catching feelings ??? for the catwalk faceplant guy??? you’ve never even talked to the man smh

he’s fucking hot tho.

so, fashion week ends and with it comes another party

you can finally relax, celebrate, wind down from the long week.

yA THOUGHT lmao

you’re talking to some designer about their next project and they’re going on about this instagram dude who’s already on board when they start waving someone over like “hey hey, there he is, y/n have you met kim namjoon yet?”

you turn around you’re like !!!!! fuck. he’s so much taller up close.

“hey, no, yeah, no, but i’ve seen you on, uh, on instagram. i think.” smooth, y/n.

after introductions, the designer gets pulled along into some other conversation and you and namjoon are kinda awkward for a minute.

you just sip your drink like ‘fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck aaaaaaa’

but then he asks you easy questions about what you do and what you’ve been working on this week and it’s the same thing you’ve been talking about with everyone you’ve met this week so it goes pretty smoothly

he makes it easy for you, like he’s very attentive, nods along enthusiastically asking follow-up questions and seems genuinely interested in your work it’s so nice! he’s so nice!

and you ask him the same things you’ve asked everyone else this week like you haven’t seen everything on his instagram already.

actually you’ve missed a few things since you’ve been so busy and your interest is genuine, before you know it the two of you are at a table and getting along like a house on fire, showing each other pics from the week.

he asks you send him a pic from one of the shows he didn’t get to see and when he do he’s sees your old messages and is like ?? oh !!

i mean, he totally knew it was you, but he had forgotten the part about that obscure indie band and the new single, so he shows you!

you’ve been following them even closer since then so you know they’re playing a gig in like two weeks and you tell him.

turns out he’s missed this info because of fashion week and he’s super excited!! you guys have to go together!!!¨

“i mean, we don’t have to- it’s just, i don’t know anyone else who listens to them, i could probably go alone, but, you know, it would be cool-”

and of course you’ll go with him, so you two exchange numbers and end up texting the next two weeks.

at first you’re just making tentative plans to meet and go to to the gig, but then there’s a gallery opening the same day, and you know this realy good thrift shop nearby that he should check out, and you guys should get dinner before because namjoon knows this really cool place and-

and it’s a date.

namjoon has every intention to kiss you that night after the gig, but he wants to ask you first and he’s not sure exactly how so he’s just like “um ??? can i ??? uhhh ?? do you ??? uh”

and ur like, “hey, namjoon, i really want u to kiss me, please?”

the rest is history.

you two are too cute, with your instagram aesthetic and lowkey couple outfits, and highkey couple pics, i’d follow.

you two would be gOALS, and it does wonders for both your careers tbh

omg imagine all the cool collaborations you two could do.

and eventually namjoon would go viral again when the paparazzi captures him spilling his coffee and your cute reaction.

but the best thing about dating model namjoon is he makes you your very own playlist.

and you get your very own story highlight with all the aesthetic pics he snaps of you just like buying milk and stealing his fries, and exploring the city on sundays afternoons, going vintage shopping and reading in the park, titled: “bae.” with every colour heart.

hyping each other in the comments always.

and the thirst omg

anyway, nsfw under the cut.

so you take it kinda slow at first because turns out namjoon has a huge crush on you and he lowkey can’t keep his hands off you but also wants to “date you properly”, whatever that means.

props to you if you get impatient with him and tease him a little, a thirst trap here, a netflix and chill there, sending a sexy song his way, or even better post it on your story for him to see.

if it doesn’t provoke him to action it’ll at least get him hard flustered, which is cute.

in the end joon is a soft boy and you can sit up all night talking, so you end up talking about sex long before having it.

and that just makes it all the more special tbh

and when it does happen, it’s like everything else the two of you do, a little awkward at first, a little clumsy, fumbly, but a lot of fun, and it’s namjoon, and you love namjoon. so, so much.

like it doesn’t matter if he accidentally bumps your nose, because he’ll apologise and the two of you will just giggle and continue. 

and he might pull your hair on accident, but that way you can admit to him that it’s.. kinda hot.

and when your teeth collide when you kiss it’s only because any amount of distance between you quickly becomes unbearable, and you both need each other so, so much.

imagine slow, lazy sunday morning snuggle fuck with namjoon.

and then later when you’re on a blanket in the park reading both your books he’ll get distracted, thinking about it, lean in close and tell you something ridiculous like he wishes you would wake him up by sitting on his face.

and imagine backstage heavy petting after a show, leaving the afterparty early, because you’re both buzzing with unrelieved tension and namjoon is very hard in his pants, pressing himself against you as you try to have a polite conversation with some influencer.

love, love, loooooves, watching you ride.

and he’ll go down on you for hours if you let him, honestly.

anytime, anywhere tbh

how did you get so lucky?

[secretradiobrooklyn]

Radio Decameron |1.16.21 & 1.23.21

Secret Radio | 1.16.21 & 1.23.21 | Hear it here.

1. Sylvain Sylvain - “I’m So Sorry”

I never feel right saying “RIP” or “rest in peace” about an actual human being who is no longer with us. But I will say: I hope Sylvain Sylvain died content with the music he made and the life he lived. 

2. The Honeydrippers - “Impeach the President”

And ideally, then we would never have to hear from or talk about that accursed criminal ever again. We recorded this section before the inauguration — may we never forget how ALL 50 STATE CAPITOLS plus the US Capitol itself were being guarded against attacks by American citizens on that day — and shit was tense there for many days. As of this writing, things are… unviolent. It feels like a lull to me, honestly, rather than, say, all that stuff being in the rearview. It is not. 

But meanwhile, check that beat out!  

I love how Roy Charles is trying to convince them to stop demanding, but they just keep insisting. This song is brilliant, and the playing is — c’mon now — unimpeachable.

3. Niagara - “Tchiki boum”

We heard this song in the film “Perdrix,” known as “The Bare Necessity” in the version we saw via SLIFF. They’re dancing in a club to this, and it’s just a really distractingly good song for the scene.

- C.K. Mann - “Mber Papa”

We just recently learned about Essiebons by learning that he passed just this August. He was a producer of legendary status to a lot of people. Listening around his music we came upon C.K. Mann and this righteous track, which Essiebons produced. I think this is a pretty ultra track, really. Every instrument really kicks it out. I hope Essiebons died happy.

4. Rocky Horror Picture Show - “Hot Patootie / Bless My Soul”

New president, feeling kinda upbeat and hopeful. Really just starting to feel the tips of my soul from where it’s been getting singed. It’s going to take a long time to scab over what happened to us all over the last four years. I’m so fucking glad he’s gone that it makes me really love that rock n roll!

5. Moon Unit & Frank Zappa - “Valley Girl”

Tell you what: we watched the movie “Zappa” recently as part of a film festival, and I highly recommend watching it at your earliest opportunity. It is absolutely for people who do, and for people who do not, love his music. He shows up as a really interesting character throughout his whole life. The film skips through his songs with amazing speed, which actually works really well in his case. This song is with his daughter Moon Unit, who actually slid a handwritten note under his door introducing herself by name and saying that she wanted to collaborate on a project. They did this, and while Zappa was in Europe, Moon Unit brought the acetates to KROC and the song became an instant hit for them. Meanwhile he was writing for multiple orchestras.

6. Jacques Dutronc - “Sur Une Nappe de Restaurant” 

This is totally not how I tune my drums, but I love how Dutronc’s drums sound in every song. I mean, the whole band of course, but there is a physical space both in the drum part as written and in the recorded texture of the whole that is just deep and wide.

7. Nyame Bekyere - “Medley: Broken Heart / Aunty Yaa / Omo Yaba (Nzema)”

This is another discovery via Essebiens, who released it on Essiebons Enterprises. It’s such an intense track! The cover artwork is by K. Frimpong, who plays a crazy Cuban guitar style on his own albums. 

8. Ros Serey Sothea - “Tngai Neas Kyom Yam Sra (Today I Drink Wine)”

This is a voice, and a cast of characters, I can’t stop thinking about. This is from “Cambodian Rocks Vol 1,” which is full of great recordings. Her voice could shatter glass, and it’s so skillfully wielded — I’d love to hear her in a face-off with Frankie Valli.

- There’s a moment from Paige’s phone archives of a little George and Isabelle aching to ride rides at the Millstadt homecoming.

9. Les Poppys - “Isabelle je t’aime” 

These young boys singing collectively about their — collective? 17 individual? — love(s) for Isabelle is even more innocent in video format:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o618mlIaR7E

- more C.K. Mann - “Mber Papa”

10. The Jam - “In the City”

This song makes me miss the city so much! It sounds like everything we really can’t get up to right now. I feel like this song helps me feel like I’m walking fast under streetlights.

11. Bruno Leys - “Maintenant je suis un voyou”

This 7” from Born Bad is so incredible! Bruno Leys worked on just a few songs with a band that included a guy named Emmanuel Pairault who plays parts on an instrument called the ondes Martenot, a super early, very eclectic and ungainly electronic instrument. The fact that he could actually compose music of any kind on it was considered remarkable. The fact that he was able to write such incredibly expressive parts to thoroughly filigree the choruses is what amazes me. 

This band recorded four songs, then Bruno Leys left for his military service, and when he came back it was all completely over — the catalog was sold, everyone was scattered. Four songs. 

12. Sleepy Kitty - “Nothing = You”

I’m pretty sure this song was essentially our response to our own growing fascination with French pop. To me it sounds more French than American in texture. We played this song with the Incurables once at The Pageant in STL and it was especially glorious. I think of that moment — Kevin Bachmann harmonizing flawlessly with Paige, four different guitars ringing through the chords — every time I hear this track.

13. Plastic Bertrand - “Pogo Pogo”

I don’t know why or when “Ça Plane Pour Moi” became the one French pop song that Americans are likely to know, but it’s a total banger so I have no complaints. It turns out that pretty much all of his songs sound very similar — one-note melodies in the verse, cool vocalese hooks in the chorus, and super-driving guitar parts throughout. Turns out that’s a formula we totally dig!

14. Os K-rrascos & Vanessinha Do Picatchu - “Bochecha Ardendo”

For whatever reason, a variety of Brazilian music seemed to be the very hottest stuff to be found in Chicago’s art-school party nights, and I remember losing my mind to some heavy Brazilian rhythms that just kept folding over and over on themselves while staying so impossibly funky that the whole night just turned into a deep-green-and-dark orange smear of a late-night winter warehouse dancing and sweating and then way, way later, walking home steaming along a cold sidewalk on a tree-lined street.

- Eric Dolphy - “Hat and Beard”

15. Von Südenfed - “The Rhinohead” 

I feel like no one in my zone talks enough about how awesome Von Südenfed is. I mean, we only know this one album, but it’s so fascinating — a band where Mark E. Smith is contributing but not in control, and on purpose. He shows off his pop chops and gets to be a whole different character in this one place, while the Mouse on Mars guys get to play new characters themselves. It feels like it’s related to “Extricate” in how it’s constructed, but the music doesn’t sound like something any version of the Fall has made. 

16. Fischer-Spooner - “The 15th”

A friend of Wire is a friend of ours.

p.s. Paige here, they went to SAIC (before I arrived) but they were super famous to all of us in the dorms. 

17. T.P. Orchestre - “Pourquoi Pas?”

The depths of this band just continue to amaze us. We’re waiting on some T.P.O.C. vinyl right now, featuring mostly songs we’ve never heard, and the everlovin’ post office is misdelivering it BACK to France even as I write this. It’s driving us totally nuts.

18. Nina Simone - “Mississippi Goddam”

The hardness of her voice, the hardness of her experience, the hardness of her words.

19. Fanny - “Blind Alley”

I don’t know who first put this in front of my eyes, but it was a few years ago. The video is so basic — they’re performing in front of a video-psych effect — but the performers themselves are just so absorbing. And the production is so heavy, it feels legendary. 

20. Manmadha Leela soundtrack - “Kushalamena”

I think we first saw a colorful glimpse of this song before we heard it. Paige automatically starts dancing a little dance as soon as “Kushalamena” comes on. 

This I think came from the “Now Playing” group I’m in on FB: a guy was holding out a picture of the cover of this album and said he’d bought 40 more like it and he LOVED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. He just wanted to see if anyone knew anything more about them. I did my best to hear the album he was showing. I think this is it. I think he’s right to be super jazzed about it, we just want to hang out with him and listen to all those records.

21. Francis Bebey - “Je vous aime zaime zaime”

Paige was working on her pronunciation and when to use the ellision — the z sound for the s letter, depending on what comes next — and he said something about, “Unless you’re Francis Bebey and you’re singing ‘Je vous aime zaime zaime.” And she said, “Francis Bebey? I know Francis Bebey!” and he said, “No, you’re thinking of another Francis.” But we all know the truth. This was our introduction to the song though.

- Jack Teagarden - “I Guess I’ll Have to Change My Plan”

Paige was looking for the Fred Astaire & Jack Buchanan version from “The Bandwagon,” but found this great instrumental trombone-forward version instead.

22. Pono AM - "Good Vibes"

This is one of those things you see every once in a great while when you’re playing clubs in a music scene — a band hits a natural home run. They just have an undeniably appealing crowdpleaser of a song that they wrote, and everyone flips out when they hear it. We salute Pono AM for writing this perfect song. They enrich the STL music world. My only advice to them was to never get tired of it or take it for granted. 

Paige: We took their band photos at our space on Cherokee Street, for an RFT article. I was impressed because they arrived with matching shirts that still had the tags on them, and it was really exciting to see a new band on the scene who was really good and also putting in the effort to be graphically interesting. We believe that stuff counts. All of their shows, if you got there early, you’d see all of the band members blowing up as many balloons as they could, so there would be balloons bouncing around their set for the whole show, and it made it even better.

23. Sir Victor Uwaifo And His Titibitis - "Iranm Iran"

Analog Africa has a new album! It’s called “Edo International,” and it shows off a whole other side of Beninese music that isn’t T.P. Orchestre. I think of T.P. Orchestre as just a giant force in Beninese music, but then this comp comes out showing so many other roots of Benin City’s highlife-funk scene. Victor Uwaifo was a Nigerian guitarist who returned to his hometown in Benin City and built Joromi Studio. The sound he put together at that place, via his own bands and others’, came to be called Edo Funk.

24. Laughing Man - "Brilliant Colors"

This is a tape of one of the artists of one of the group houses that we always would stay at in DC. Benjamin Schurr runs a tape label and it was always such a treat getting the new batch of Blight. releases for the van soundsystem when we’d roll through town, or one of his bands would tour through St. Louis. They were always interesting stuff and a wide range of sounds and styles. 

We first met Brandon Moses when he was on tour with Paperhaus in St. Louis. I think it was his birthday, too. He didn’t tour a ton with them. Laughing Man was our first time hearing him front songs. We always enjoyed staying with Erik and Benjamin and Brandon and enjoyed sharing that green power juice that Brandon gave us — really powered us up for the next drive. 

- Bembeya Jazz - “Petit Sokou”

I have felt love for this song for awhile, but Josh Weinstein recently sent a video of the band actually performing this song and WOW, it is hypnotizing. The outfits, the instruments, and the expressiveness of the guitar playing are all so vivid in black and white: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpZVF_kKUJ4

25. Maxime le Forestier - “San Francisco”

Our thanks to Paige’s French instructor for showing us this song. Paige’s version is well worth hearing too, I must say: https://www.instagram.com/p/CKhJfqDDe2q/

p.s. Paige again, if you want to see the dragon birthday card that Evan made, here it is!

[hag-lad]

Digging Deeper

Thank you to my radiant wonderful friend @alienfuckeronmain for sending me EXACTLY the type of self indulgent wind-down activity I wanted on this otherwise depressing weekend! If anyone else wants to answer FORTY-NINE QUESTIONS about themselves, I’m super nosy and will read it all! @fight-the-seether @ptolemyofchaos @butchwizard @metalbutch @nyndelion @comrade-ziltoid @leatherdear @kristalknobb Enjoy, friends!

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? I prefer black, but I always feel like I write neater in blue??

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? The city, but only if it has breathable air, green infrastructure, and decent public transit. So like... definitely no city in America lmao

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? The ability to quickly become fluent in another language! I’ve been struggling with Spanish for literal YEARS and it’s honestly pathetic. My brain is so stuck on English.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Look pal. If I wanna drink sugar, I’m gonna have a soda, not herb water or bean juice.

5. What was your favorite book as a child? I was OBSESSED with The Wish List, by Eoin Colfer (of Artemis Fowl fame). I remember being so fascinated by how dark it was?? It’s an afterlife adventure, where the main character has to escape purgatory by atoning for her crimes of robbery and fraud and whatever. I had a crush on her, so basically this book made me want to pursue a life of crime, even though it explicitly condemns crime and depicts Hell as a very real and horrible place. I was in like fourth grade and was super morbidly curious about Hell and the possibility of going there! Lol

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? Baths... but only when I’m not actually dirty going in. A bath is leisure, not hygiene.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? 100% fae! I would build my dwelling within a sidhe mound, steal shiny things in the middle of the night, make bastardly little contracts for no reason, and cause harmless mayhem and mischief because mortals really are fools (go off, robin goodfellow!) Also I love mushroom circles and dancing in the moonlight.

8. Paper or electronic books? Paper all the way! I read much more content electronically, but it’s usually in the short story or article format. Books are much better in print, I think.

9. What is your favorite item of clothing? Probably my rust-brown overalls.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I’ve always hated my name but no alternative has ever stuck, unfortunately. My name is Amy, and I don’t think it fits at all. If I knew I’d never have to correct anyone on it, I’d probably just change it to Amelia?

11. Who is a mentor to you? My little brother! He’s this genius musician, and he has taught me so much about song structure, polyrhythms, guitar technique, production tricks, all kinds of trivia that really deepen my appreciation for music and the LABOR that goes into it.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? No, never, not for anything. I cherish my anonimity so much, I don’t even put searchable tags on this blog cuz I get an adrenaline spike from anxiety if too many people interact with me. I also just think fame is a fucking hideous construct. I don’t think it’s even slightly cool or desirable.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? No, I’m a fucking log. I can easily sleep for 12 hours straight. Thanks, depression!

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? No, actually. I’m very much in love, and it brings me lots of joy to do nice things with and for my partner! But romance feels very difficult for me to connect with. I’m super domestic, like, I love the idea of marriage but not necessarily a wedding, or a moonstruck romance or whatever. Those dramatic gestures feel very awkward for me.

15. Which element best represents you? EARTH. Specifically, like... dirt, or soil.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? I want to be geographically closer to my family. We’re thick as thieves, but we all live like 50 miles apart from each other. I miss my brothers and my parents so much, I feel so incomplete and depressed without them to hang out with, especially since quarantine.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? See above! Lol

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. When my little brother was a baby, he had this grey car seat with a folding mechanism which held his legs in place. It made a very satisfying clicking sound when the mechanism moved, AND when it was fully unfolded, it looked a lot like a Klingon battle cruiser. (Or so my five year old brain thought.) So! My older brother and I would take this seat out of the car CONSTANTLY so that we could unfold it and “sing” the Klingon theme music from Star Trek: The Motion Picture while we scooched our car seat battle cruiser across the living room floor, pretending to shoot phasers into the TV or the dining table or whatever else got in our way.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? Gifilte fish, maybe?

20. What are you most thankful for? My family, including my wonderful partner and all the cats in our lives!

21. Do you like spicy food? Yes! But my tolerance for extreme spice decreases every year, unfortunately. So I can’t handle as much heat as I used to, but I do enjoy a good kick.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? Lmaooo I made the regretful decision to PAY FOR a meet&greet with Fall Out Boy in like 2006, which was so fucking awkward and painful, I vowed to never approach that level of lame again.

23. Do you keep a diary or a journal? TONS! I’m an obsessive record keeper. Some years I journal more than others, and I’ve found that it is super difficult to keep up with it while working full time. But it’s absolutely one of my favorite hobbies.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or pencil? Pen for writing. Pencil for drawing, and math.

25. What is your star sign? Virgo sun, Aquarius moon, Scorpio rising 🙃

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Crunchy! A shallow bath in that milk is key.

27. What would you want your legacy to be? My artwork. I go through these aesthetic phases every year that I become super obsessed with/ focused on, and I’ve always meant to catalogue them in annual art journals, but I’ve NEVER FINISHED ONE! They always get pushed aside by the need to work, and I hate that so much. If I could just take a year off work and backfill all of my missed concepts into completed books, I would be so happy. But I literally have NO WAY to pay for that, absolutely none. I fucking hate capitalism.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I love to read, but finishing a whole book has been A STRUGGLE lately! Right now I’m chipping away at Tending Brigid’s Flame, which is a quaint lil devotional for the Celtic fire goddess. Very new agey, like cheesy Wiccan vibes. I love that shit!

29. How do you show someone you love them? Quality time!

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Only if I have a straw. Ice touching my teeth kinda makes me wince.

31. What are you afraid of? Incompetance, doing a bad job, letting someone down, taking up too much space, being a nussiance, etc

32. What is your favourite scent? Incense! Especially cinnamon, dragon’s blood, and amber.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? I always call people, regardless of age, by the name they ask me to use. Sometimes it’s a surname or title, usually it’s a first name. I’ll ask their preference if I’m unsure. But I definitely don’t default toward a surname, that’s weird.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY!!!!!! The need for money rules literally every single hour of my entire life, and I hate it so much. I’m naturally nocturnal, but my job requires me to get up super early and sit in a car for 11 hours a day. I wake up at 5am, come home front work at 5pm, spend an hour or two trying to unwind, then go to bed and do it all over again. I hate my life! Really! I never see the stars, I never exercise, I am completely exhausted and burnt out all the time, and I barely get any quality time with my partner. If money were no object, I would sleep til noon or 1, make art and hike all day, ride my bike and stargaze all night, stay up til 4am reading and playing with my cats, and sleep like a baby. My partner and I would cook dinner for each other and watch Star Trek and collaborate on art projects and I would be so happy.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? Here’s my hierarchy: Private pool > ocean > public pool

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? I’d look around to see if anyone obviously dropped it and try to give it back. If I couldn’t find anyone, I’d exchange it for dollars and deposit that shit into my account!

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Of course!! Hundreds!

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? America is evil and needs to be destroyed.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? Lmao this is so cute. If you HAD TO HAVE a tattoo! I really wanna finish my damn sleeves, they’re literally 9 years in the making and barely half finished. But I’d also love more art on my legs! I DESPERATELY want Ziltoid in a lacy valentine heart on my thigh.

40. What can you hear now? Our fish tank water bubbling and my fan on full blast.

41. Where do you feel the safest? Home alone, doors locked, windows covered, lights low. I absolutely LOVE to not be seen or perceived in any way.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? My fear of discomfort

43. If you could time travel to another era, which one would you choose? I feel like I’d want to be a teen in the 80’s and an adult in the 90’s. Does time travel work that way?

44. What is your most used emoji? 😭 or 😎

45. Describe yourself using one word. Defeated

46. What do you regret the most? Convincing myself that math was too hard or boring (or something?) when I was in middle school. I feel like I’m actually a pretty intelligent person who could’ve totally overcome that difficulty and gone on to understand all kinds of patterns and concepts which have eluded me to this day! It’s so frustrating to try and fight that formative self-concept, which now comes naturally but ultimately sabotages me. 💀

47. Last movie you saw? I made my partner watch Troop Beverly Hills, one of my childhood faves. It’s so fun! I love chick flicks so much.

48. Last tv show you watched? Deep Space Nine. Getting through the first season has been harder than expected. It’s actually my favorite Star Trek show?? (Orrrr maybe that’s TNG, ahh! It’s so hard to choose!) But season one is so baffling and awful! Why is there so much space capitalism??! And racism? And war? And drinking alcoholic beverages? #notmystartrek

49. Invent a word and its meaning. I used to call a single strand of curly hair a “curly quink” when I was a child. Therefore, a “quink” is a section of hair, usually a particularly cute or iconic one.

[closetcasefabray]

Don’t Make Me Spell It Out For You, Part 1/6

briefest of brief summaries: clarke kind of hates her neighbor because lexa hates fun or something. aka & they were neighbors

//

okay, so finally writing this as a fic. i could’ve definitely made this a one-shot, but i divided it into 6 parts (of varying lengths) to have fun with it, and i’m cleaning it up and adding more. also managed to hit several of the classic au prompts: fratboy!clarke, neighbors/girl next door, (kinda) enemies to friends to lovers, city au, useless lesbian/bisexual, & one bed. hope you enjoy.

titles courtesy of Janelle Monae.

EDIT: apparently this entire thing just up and disappeared when i made a small edit on mobile. fixed it. thanks tumblr for being generally awful.

//

1. all the feelings that i’ve got for you

//

You love and hate living in New York—love the diversity, art scene, local parks, trips to the Bronx Zoo, concerts in Prospect Park, and (finally) earning a living wage after graduating two years ago. You hate the MTA’s ceaseless delays, the owners of the dog barking outside your window every morning, rude restaurant guests who tip poorly, and the puddles that seem to always be on the sidewalks even when it hasn’t rained for days. You love your neighborhood but hate how old your building is—tiny living space, worn out hardwood flooring that slopes, the distinct off-off-white color of it all, and the incredibly thin walls.

You also recently determined that you’re really starting to hate your neighbor.

//

The first time you receive a knock at the door, it’s understandable.

Raven is, in her own words, “Queens, born and raised, and therefore a die-hard Mets fan.” It’s not always clear because most of the time she spends watching games, she’s swearing at the players and coaches, and groaning, “I fucking hate this goddamn team.”

So you’re sitting between Raven and Octavia late one night, watching the Mets play the Padres, drinking beer, and shoveling pizza into your mouths, when an unexpected home run has Raven jumping to her feet and shouting, “I fucking love this goddamn team!” She does a dance and claps as the Mets celebrate their two run lead.

A soft knock at the door interrupts Raven high-fiving you and O repeatedly less than a minute later. You all exchange looks and you roll your eyes when Raven and O look at you expectantly. You stand up, take a swig of beer, and open the front door.

A stunning but half-asleep girl, about your age, is standing on your old, beat up Welcome mat. You figure she’s your neighbor, but you hardly see anyone else who lives in the apartment building, not to mention the number of people who move in and out throughout the year. Your assumed neighbor is in her pajamas—a Columbia grad school t-shirt, striped shorts, and some moccasin slippers—and her hair is a mix of brown waves and curls, tousled no doubt from struggling to sleep. Her grey-green eyes remind you to finish your painting of a storm at sea.

“Sorry,” you say quickly, then explain, “West Coast Mets game.”

The other girl just nods.

“We’ll keep it down. Sorry again,” you say, offering a small smile.

Your neighbor doesn’t reciprocate and just turns around to go back to her apartment. You feel guilty as you gently shut the door.

“Well, that’s one way to meet your new-ish neighbor,” Octavia says before drinking from her beer.

“It is two in the morning,” you say with a shrug.

“She’s been here for over a month. This shit-hole I call home is nicknamed the City that Never Sleeps for a reason,” Raven says, taking an aggressive bite from her slice of pizza. “Also the Mets are winning!” she adds as she chews, “That, like, never happens, so she should respect my devotion to this piece of shit team.”

You and O just roll your eyes, and you hope the pizza and beer will keep Raven busy enough and her mouth full to prevent further yelling.

//

The second time Lexa—you read her mailbox label—knocks at your door, you expect it.

You get home from a killer shift and Raven is scrolling through Hulu and the like for something to watch, so when you say you never saw John Wick 2, she immediately tells you to “sit your ass down and watch this shit.”

You can’t hear the dialogue over the crunching of the chips you’re sharing with Raven, so you keep turning up the volume. Raven gets up to use the bathroom as you watch the scene unfold.

Then his house explodes.

For a brief moment you think the apartment is too because the surround sound speakers Raven has set up shakes the floor and walls. You scramble to turn down the volume and manage to pause the movie.

Raven’s head immediately pops out from the bathroom to look at you with her mouth hanging open in slight horror. “Oh no…”

You look at the time. It’s 12:30AM. “Shit.”

You realize you’re holding your breath when you hear the light knocking ten seconds later.

“Hi,” you say, feeling stupid as you look at another form of tired Lexa. She’s got her glasses on this time and a Les Mis tee to accompany a different set of striped sleep shorts, but her hair is in the same state of lovely disarray as it was a week ago. Eyes still quiet storms.

“Could you just turn it down a bit?”

“Already did. Sorry. It was hard to hear the movie and then something blew up… on screen, I mean.” You question if you ever actually learned the English language or had a normal social interaction with an attractive person before. Whether bars, clubs, or even work, you can typically charm people’s pants off. Apparently in your own apartment, all it takes is a pretty girl with messy hair and full lips to throw you off whatever game you can manage.

“Thanks,” is all Lexa says in response.

After you close the door, you turn to a still shocked Raven with her mouth agape. “Okay, so that one was fair,” she admits.

“Is there a thin-apartment-walls setting for your sound system?”

//

The third time Lexa knocks at your door is the last straw.

You have the night off after a 45 hour work week, carrying 20-pound boxes of wine up and down the stairs, memorizing five new menu items and an entirely new cocktail menu. Do you love the restaurant industry? No. But you’re decent at it and it pays double what the YMCA paid you for children’s after-school art lessons.

You manage to crawl out of bed around two in the afternoon, and proceed to drink an entire Britta’s worth of water before refilling it and sticking it back in the fridge. You probably shouldn’t have had the last two (or five) shots you took last night after work with your coworkers.

You hear the familiar sound of Raven coming up the steps and her keys in the door as you plop yourself into the chair at the small table that separates the kitchen from the living room.

“You’re home early,” you say, Raven is helping her mechanical engineering company collaborate on a big project with MoMA, so she’s been working ten hour shifts, six days a week.

Raven, despite looking exhausted, lifts her fist above her head in victory. “And I have tomorrow off! I’m going out!”

You groan, and Raven just laughs. “I heard you stumble in last night, so it’s cool. I’m going out with O and Lincoln later. I have pot, and you look like you need a cannabis miracle.” 

You smoke some of Raven’s weed, and while it does make you feel better, it doesn’t do much for the lethargy part of your hangover. You order delivery for the both of you and wait, sprawled out on the couch in the living room while Raven showers. You snap out of your daze when Janelle Monae’s voice starts to pour out the bluetooth speakers, and you let out a full belly laugh as Raven dramatically exits the bathroom into your line of sight, dressed in only a towel with another wrapped around her head, using her phone as a microphone.

“Live my life on birth control. I lost my mind on rock and roll,” Raven sings, spinning through the kitchen to the living room. She points at you as she continues to sing along and dance. You join her and turn up the volume at the chorus.

You’re both belting along, dancing all sexy despite the fact that Raven’s in a towel and you’re still in a baggy shirt and sweatpants. Raven takes a small hit from her bowl and passes it back to you.

You’re not sure how long she was knocking, but it took a set of louder-than-usual knocks for you to hear it. You look at Raven and briefly feel like you’re back in your college dorm together and resist the urge to chuck the bowl in your hand out the window.

“Really?” Raven mouths, gesturing at the clock reading 3PM.

“What do I do?” you ask. Yeah, you’re moderately stoned.

Raven turns the volume down a bit. “I don’t know, but I’m naked,” Raven says, trying to appear serious before snorting and running to her room to put on clothes.

“Fine, I can just go fuck myself, yeah?” you stage whisper after her.

“Heeeeeey,” you say, opening the door and leaning against the doorframe.

Lexa still looks tired but is wearing a nicer version of your own outfit—jogger sweats, a UMD tee, and some red TOMS she evidently shoved onto her feet without pulling the backs over her heels.

“Your music… It’s distracting me, and just… Could you just turn it down a little, please?” Lexa asks with a light sigh.

“Sure thing,” you reply, and, christ, give her a thumbs up.

You’re sure Lexa can smell the pot, but she doesn’t say anything. She just shuffles back to her apartment, and you close the door not-as-gently-as-usual before turning off the stereo.

Raven walks back into the living room, now fully clothed, and sits on the couch with a dramatic sigh. She grabs her bowl and takes a hit.

“Who, like, gets fucking mad about Janelle Monae? On a Friday? At 3PM?” you ask, taking the bowl Raven offers.

“Someone who hates fun,” Raven says, blowing smoke out her nose and mouth.

//

In the week following the last knocking incident, you decide you don’t like Lexa Woods, maybe even hate her and her stupid university sleep shirts and stormy eyes. Sure, she’s got her beautiful hair and maybe you’ve thought about how soft her lips probably are once or twice; none of that stops you from declaring her the Enemy of Fun.

You’re not sure what mood you’re in, but you are sure that you drank a lot of gin at O and Lincoln’s engagement party. Raven jokes that gin makes you aggressive, a really dumb “fight me” kind of aggressive.

“She can fucking knock all she wants,” you huff, sitting down on the couch to stop the room from spinning. “Like, what? Are we not allowed to have fun anymore?”

“I know, but let’s try not to have tonight be another night where she comes knocking.”

“I’ll tell her what’s what. Come on, fucking Janelle Monae?” you say, waving your arms in exasperation. “And why not? I fucking dare her to come over. I thought you hated her too?”

“I mean, I think she kind of sucks, but hate is a little dramatic. You’re also pretty confrontational right now, so I don’t want a knock tonight,” Raven says with a chuckle, and you realize she’s far more sober than you as she pours you a glass of water.

“I’d win in a fight.”

“Right.”

“I would.”

“Of course, Clarke.”

“I hate her.”

“Sure.”

//

next

[dekinswritings]

Wild Stars

During a collaborative live performance between μ's and A-RISE, something previously unknown to her awakens inside Tsubasa. Something shameful. TsubaHono.

Word count: 1159

[Ao3] [FF.net]

A/N: Please join me in my effort to normalize unaware-top Honoka and bottom Tsubasa.

“Honoka! Can you get those boxes out to the backstage?! We need them there!”

“On it! Can anyone help me with these?!”

“Lily White’s on stage, and Hanayo and Kotori are busy with our outfits! Find someone else!”

Honoka stared at the stack of plastic bins filled to the brim with props needed for Bibi’s turn on the stage. The tower of boxes was intimidating, but she would not let her friends down. Filled with a newfound determination, she leaned down, took a deep breath, and lifted the box from its sides. The box was heavy, but just the thought of all those loyal fans out there experiencing the best μ's could give out was worth the strain on her arms. The box sure was heavy though, and there were at least five more of them. Some extra hands would sure be-

“Ara, Honoka-chan. Do you need help with that?”

Honoka stopped and looked back. She had passed Anju, who was drinking from her water bottle and refreshing herself before her next song. How could she have forgotten?! The sole reason Honoka was so pumped for this live was because they would be sharing the stage with A-RISE! They would even end it with a mashup that Maki and Anju had managed to come up with, despite the different tones the two school idol groups went for.

“Y-Yes! I’d be in your debt!” Honoka nodded quickly. “There are more of these boxes right outside our changing room.”

“Okay, Honoka-chan! I’ll think of something you could do later, now I’ll get Tsubasa and Erena to help.”

___________________________________________________________

“You set us up for this?” Erena was always willing to lend a hand for live prep, but the sheer amount of boxes baffled her. μ's had three times their members, yet they could only spare one? And for some reason, Honoka’s “five or so boxes” had at least doubled in quantity.

“We need to make this live a success. Especially this one!”

“Anju’s right. We shouldn’t leave a bad impression on these girls now that we’re working together,” Tsubasa agreed and went in for the first box. Holding it tight from its sides, she pulled up. The other two simply stared in both amusement and surprise when their leader could only muster a grunt and not make the box move a single inch.

By the third attempt, Anju and Erena bursted out laughing, much to Tsubasa’s embarrassment.

“What’s wrong, Tsubasa-chan? Is the plastic tupperware too much for you?” Anju did her best to fight back her laughter to throw a jab at her friend.

“Come on, don’t be mean to her. You know her petite build can only lift so much.” The cool facade Erena always put on was now long gone as she laughed hard.

“Well, I don’t see you two trying!” Tsubasa protested and stepped aside to let the other two try to lift them.

“Don’t be so upset, dear. We’re just teasing you.” Anju’s apology lost most of its credit when she patted Tsubasa’s head. Letting out a deep breath to calm herself, Anju leaned down, took hold of the box, and… grunted as she tried to pick up the box.

“Ha. Ha.”  Tsubasa mocked Anju as she tried and tried in vain to pick up the box.

“Let me give it a try,” Erena spoke up and went for another box. Securing her grip, Erena pulled up, and after letting out a strained voice she managed to pick it up. “This is… kinda heavy.”

“And you said you saw Honoka-san running with these?” Tsubasa found it hard to believe. Taking one of the sides of the box Anju was trying to lift, both girls pulled up at the same time and managed to lift it.

“Yes, she was-”

“Coming through!” Honoka came running and quickly and effortlessly picked up another of the plastic boxes. Once lifted, she was jogging in place and smiled to the trio. “Thanks a bunch! I really owe you guys!” With her quick thanks out of the way, Honoka sped through the halls of the backstage once again.

“Uh, wow,” was the only thing that Erena could say as she just saw Honoka run as if she was carrying nothing.

“Y-Yeah, uh, ‘wow’ sure is a word I’d use,” Tsubasa stuttered as she kept looking at Honoka in the distance. Had her arms always been that toned?

Anju smiled mischievously as she saw Tsubasa’s face get progressively redder and sweatier, and it was not because of the heavy box they were holding.

____________________________________________________

“So, buff arms?” Anju inquired.

“Shut up,” Tsubasa mumbled as she looked away and tried to cover her face. She cursed that they had to sit down and wait for μ's to finish their next few songs as they were up next.

“Hey, Tsubasa,” Erena called out and pointed at the screen. “You know this song?”

“Yeah, it’s Wild Stars, what of it-?” The moment Tsubasa looked up at the screen in their waiting room broadcasting the stage, Honoka was the focus of the camera as she was pulling one of her arms back and clearly showing her well defined bicep. 

Tsubasa wanted to scream.

________________________________________________________

“That was a great performance, congratulations.” Tsubasa extended her hand for a handshake but was taken aback when Honoka instead went in for a hug. It took her a moment, but Tsubasa embraced her back.

“You guys were amazing too! And your new song was so good! Nico wouldn’t stop talking about it, too.” Honoka let go but held on to Tsubasa’s hands as the excitable school idol bounced up and down.

“I’m glad you liked it. I mean, that you guys liked it.”

“Hey, Honoka-chan.” Anju tapped on Honoka’s shoulder. “Remember you said you’d do something in return for helping with those boxes~?”

“Wait, you did?” That was the first time Tsubasa heard of this. As far as she knew, they were only helping to make sure things ran smoothly.

“Oh, yeah! I did do that! What do you want me to do?”

“Pick her up. Like a princess,” Anju requested with a coy smile.

“Wait, what-”

“I can do that!” 

Before Tsubasa could react, Honoka put an arm behind her back and one behind her knees and in one swift movement lifted Tsubasa, who could only let out a yelp. The petite brunette held on to Honoka as if her life depended on it, inadvertently placing the palm of her hand right on Honoka’s arm. Suddenly, Tsubasa became much more aware of all of the bodily contact she was having with Honoka, and her face lit up with a bright red blush. She wanted to cover it, but the best she could do was press her face on Honoka’s shoulder, which only embarrassed her more.

“Everything okay?” Honoka asked, worrying about how stiff Tsubasa suddenly got. “Do you not like getting picked up?”

“Oh no, she’s loving it,” Erena chimed in and joined Anju’s shit-eating-smirks club.

______________________________________________________

A/N: No i am not projecting, don’t inquire anything about buff Honoka or Emitsun