#I PICKED POOR ROBIN CLEAN

[songbird-28]

—i picked poor robin clean 🎶

THIS MOVIE WAS PHENOMENAL! what a cinematic experience + all the music was top notch. especially this song! the entire sinners ost has been on loop 🫡

[darkwing-katy]

Ever single track on the “Sinners” soundtrack is a certifiable banger.

Every. Single. Track.

Man, I wish I went out more because if I heard any of these songs anywhere, I would be up and jumping and dancing because holy crap, these songs are so fucking GOOD!

(also I am so obsessed with this movie; please talk to me about it)

[redcreekheart]

[percentstardust]

if stack answered the door to the juke by himself, everyone would have been cooked.

[dipperscavern]

Dippy have you watched sinners??

AH I HAVENT 💔💔 i usually watch movies via pirating them LOL but for some reason i have this itch to see sinners in theaters so !!! i definitely want to watch it & soon but i want to go with friends so we’re aligning schedules and all that ish :333 have yall watched sinners?? is it as good as i hear??

[tismchasm]

My dumbass thought “Pick Poor Robin Clean” was about a bird.

[lourdaisey]

hello this blog is just a vessel for me to collect posts i like. occasionally i whinge. i do not have pronouns do NOT refer to me.

the rest is just my tag organisation

i have enough tags that i have to start keeping track of these bitches!!

#you ate her face - yellowjackets tag

#we're not meant to be alone - the old guard tag

#where no man has gone before - star trek: original series tag

#hell arrives tomorrow - conclave (2016 & 2024) tag

#going to georgia - the mountain goats tag

#requiem for a lightweight - M*A*S*H tag

#i don't believe in consistency - spider-verse tag

#who the fuck says 'pre-madonna'? - ted lasso tag

#unusually and exceedingly peculiar - wicked tag

#pick poor robin clean - sinners (2025) tag

[notbecauseofvictories]

Other aspect of this movie that was sort of funny, if you're me---both "Will Ye Go, Lassie?" and "Rocky Road to Dublin" only date back to the 19th century. One of them is traditionally Scottish. Combined with the fact that Jack O'Connell's accent was of variable quality, plus that complaint about "having his land taken away" (presumably by the British, something that happened in Ireland 200 years before either of those songs were written...) I am forced to conclude that this movie does to white people what white people have been doing since Hollywood shot its first moving picture: gestures pointedly and incorrectly in the direction of an identity, trusting that audience won't notice any gaps.

it is very, very funny to watch Sinners---a movie that is nothing but the most beautiful people you can imagine, being beautiful for 2 hours and 17 minutes---only to, at the very end, gasp BUDDY GUY!!!!! in a voice so awestruck and accidentally-too-loud that the people in the movie theater row will give you strange, sidelong looks.

[myadagoat22]

Since yall love the last one here is part 2

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

It cut through the music like a blade.

Three knocks.

Not at the front where all the party was, but at the back door. The one no one used. The one that should’ve been locked.

Smoke’s whole posture changed. His shoulders tensed. The glass in his hand paused halfway to the shelf.

You looked at him, brows drawn. “Who’s knockin’ like that?”

He didn’t answer.

Didn’t have to.

Because whatever was on the other side of that door?

It wasn’t part of the party.

When Smoke opened the door, there were three white folks. They looked clean but there was something about them that you didn’t like. One of them stood in front and center—Remmick, that’s what he said his name was, with a smile so wide it almost looked painful.  The other two behind him were also smiling.

You weren’t listening to the conversation all you remember was they wanted to come in so badly.

Then they started singing "Pick poor Robin clean. Pick poor Robin clean. I picked his head, I picked his feet. I would have picked his body, but he wasn't fit to eat."

You knew the song but how they sang it felt like they had a deeper meaning, you didn’t like them, and you could tell Smoke didn’t like them either, they finally took a hint and left when smoke closed the door you knew he needed a dance… maybe more.

When he closed the door you took his hand and pulled him to the dance floor the music swallowed you both. You pulled him in close, just enough space between you to keep it polite—but not too polite.

Smoke didn’t talk. Just moved with you, hands low on your waist, head bowed like he was trying to forget the door even existed.

“You don’t gotta tell me what that was about,” you said, “but I know you need a distraction.”

His lips quirked up just slightly. “You always were good at readin’ me.”

Your fingers slid up the back of his neck, soft. “Still am.”

He leaned in closer, lips brushing your ear. “Come upstairs with me.”

Your breath caught. But you nodded.

You followed him past the dancers, past the bar, up the old staircase to the manager’s office—still smelling faintly of cigar smoke and record sleeves. The door clicked shut behind you.

And when he kissed you this time, it wasn’t rushed or hungry.

It was needed.

Like maybe the world really was ending, and he just wanted to remember what it felt like to be held.

Smoke picked you up with those big arms and put you on the desk "Fuck, you're such a tease," he chided, nipping sharply at her pulse point. "Gonna make me lose my mind."

"Good," Y/N gasped, hands all over his shoulders. "Then fuck me until I can't walk straight. Show me who I belong to."

With a quickness smoke unbuttoned his pants then He shoved her skirt up around her waist and pushed her panties aside, rubbing her pussy first.

"Don’t be so loud," he warned, lining himself up with her dripping entrance. "I don’t want everyone to hear us ."

Y/N bit her lip hard, nodding mutely as she felt him pressing against her. Elijah gripped her hips tightly and pushed forward, stretching her open around his impressive girth.

"Oh god," she whimpered, fingers scrabbling for purchase on the polished wood. Elijah waited until she'd adjusted before starting to move, setting a steady rhythm that had them both panting with pleasure.

They lost themselves in the carnal dance, hands and mouths roaming greedily as they chased their release. Y/N locked her ankles around Elijah's waist, urging him deeper as she rocked against him.

"Gonna fill this sweet warm pussy up," Elijah grunted, snapping his hips sharply. "Pump you so full of cum you'll be dripping for days."

"Yes," Y/N gasped, clenching around him rhythmically. "Please, I need it. Need your cum inside me."

Smoke fucking into her harder and faster until they were both about to cum.  With a mutual cry, they came together, bodies shuddering as ecstasy overwhelmed them.

They stayed locked together as the aftershocks faded, limbs entwined and hearts pounding in unison. Finally, Smoke lifted his head from Y/N's shoulder to gaze down at her with a satisfied smirk.

"I love you," he said, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead.

Y/N never heard him say that before, it made her almost cry then she kissed him and said “I love you too Elijah”    

Smoke kissed her again and said c’mon let's go back downstairs. Y/n smiling replied “Okay Daddy” earning a smack to that big ass from Smoke. They walked downstairs together holding hands.

Not knowing this would be their last time of happiness.

[deadsetobsessions]

Alley Drunk!Danny AU- Part 3

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.4]

“Have you considered anger management classes?”

The Batman turned sharply, cape flaring out as he raised his weary fists in preparation for another fight. Only to pause, as he caught sight of a bedraggled man leaning against the pockmarked, water worn, Gotham variety stone of the abandoned post office. Non-hostile. Scent of booze, not strong enough to be fresh, but prominent enough for him to clock the stranger as a habitual drinker. Young. Sympathy softened Batman’s stance. Still, Batman kept his guard up. Good thing Robin was benched, he was off his game today if he hadn’t noticed the young man.

“Nevermind. You run around as a bat. Clearly anger management classes aren’t on your to do list.”

“What do you want.”

He’s young. Not as young as Robin, but… enough that it made Batman gentle his approach. The young man pushed away from his spot, fearlessly slouching towards him. Casual. Unafraid. How curious. Even Gothamites were wary around him, correctly assuming and witnessing his takedowns of Gotham’s Underbelly.

“You do this a lot, don’t you?” The bedraggled young man asked, head tilted neutrally at the bodies strewn around the Batman.

“Hm.”

“Why do you never swing by Crime Alley?”

Batman’s guard faltered at the blunt question, but he regained it quickly.

“I do.”

“You don’t.” The man disagreed amiably. He reached down towards the victims but Batman grabbed his arm in an iron hold before he could rifle through their belongings. The young man laughed and pulled back agreeably. “Is it classism, why you avoid us? The poor isn’t good enough to deserve protection from Gotham’s knight?”

“No. I do this for Gotham. All of Gotham.”

“…Well, there’s always room for improvement, I guess?”

The stranger pulled back and broke Batman’s hold, which had the vigilante sharply focusing onto the man. The stranger was strong, despite how skinny and starved he looked. Few people could casually break his hold and tonight, he added one more to the tally.

“You should tell your sponsor to look into creating job opportunities in Crime Alley. The problem isn’t actually the crooks,” the man told the vigilante, gesturing around them. “That’s just the symptoms. The actual problem is the poverty.”

“I know.”

“And yet, you still avoid Crime Alley.”

“Who are you.”

The man began walking away, throwing a dry “The Crime Alley Drunk, apparently,” behind his shoulder. When Batman took to the roofs to track him, the man had thoroughly slipped away.

“Agent A, did you catch that?”

“Yes, Batman. It appears you’ve gotten the wool pulled over your cowl by a rather mysterious youngster.”

Batman heard a younger snort of laughter. Robin. Who was supposed to be doing homework.

“Please stop making fun of me.” Batman sighed half heartedly.

“Not on your life, B.” Robin chirped.

——

“Ya talked ta Batman?!” Jason crowed at him, excited. Danny had done as promised and met him at the chili dog stand at the correct time, which increased his credibility in Jason’s eyes.

“Sure did. He knocked out like, five guys by himself. It was pretty cool.”

“Fuckin’ woah.”

“Right?” Danny smiled tiredly at the kid. He stayed up all night to pull his shit together, and outright bought an apartment for them to stay in. That safe had a lot of cash, after all. “Come on, kid. We’re heading back to base but before that, we gotta pick up a few things.”

“Like what?” Jason asked suspiciously.

“Like curtains in the color you like, groceries, and blankets and bedding, and general cleaning stuff.” Danny ticked off a finger per item.

“We killin’ someone?”

“What? No!”

“Ya said general cleaning stuff!” Jason defended himself. The raggedy kid peered at Danny cautiously, and brightened when Danny only snorted in amusement.

“Oh my ancients, you Gothamites. No, those are for like, actual cleaning. You know, for the apartment I just got you.”

Danny missed the burn of booze, but when Jason looked at him like the child he’s supposed to be had Gotham’s streets never laid its claim on him, Danny didn’t want to fail the kid.

Even if the kid thought he was buying chemicals to clean up a body. He’s the son of two mad scientists, he knows how to get rid of a body, obviously. As if he’d need chemicals to begin with, honestly. His ghost powers are quite versatile.

“An apartment?”

“Yep. It’s shitty, but it’s got all the utilities and I kind of miss having warm water to shower with.”

Jason straightened and trotted alongside the Alley Drunk with a little more purpose. People avoided them. Danny lead the kid to the apartment, handing him a key and letting him explore the sparsely decorated place.

“So, first thing’s first. You go shower. Then, we’ll go shopping for clothes, register you for school, get your school supplies, and grab some lunch. Not necessarily in that order, but ya know. And cleaning supplies.” Danny grinned.

Jason whipped his head around from where he was closely inspecting the windows for insulation- like Danny would let the actual kid live somewhere with drafty windows- and spluttered. Hope, fear, uncertainty battled across Jason’s face as he tried to say something. Danny watched Jason open and close his mouth several times before he finally managed to whisper something.

“I- I c’n go to school?”

“Yes. You are, in fact, legally required to do so, Jason.”

A pause as the kid grapples with the idea, of something he didn’t think he’d ever get to do. A grin bloomed over his face as he realized Danny’s sincerity.

“Then what are we waitin’ for?!”

“For you to shower. C’mon grubby, the shower’s that way. Towels are in the cabinet, and there’s some extra clothes in here,” Danny tossed Jason the plastic bag of clean kid’s clothes he bought from Gotham’s version of Walmart, a store that somehow had the energy of a Tesco and a Denny’s parking lot.

“Fuc- I mean- yeah! On it!”

——

Clearing out the drafts- feel free to continue ^^

[mrsmnsn]

do you want to know a secret? -eddie munson

summary: In a party, Eddie had a important secret to share with you.

w: this story is a fluff; fem!readerXeddie, drunk!eddie (the poor boy is just needy), it is a very short story (maybe a bit shitty).. let me know if there’s something more :)

an: I had this draft for a while now and i just love it very much. i can help it, i’m a simp for teeth rotting fluff. (yes if you’re wondering, i made this short fic based on a song by the beatles.)

All of your friends were heading to a party, of which you didn’t know the owner. Steve was the one who encouraged everyone. “I know the weekend is short to recover from a party, but please, i just feel like we never had nights like that anymore. To just fool around…”. His speech went on and on but apparently it worked. So you got ready with Robin and later Steve would pick you up with Eddie. Steve spent the whole drive talking about the girl he was going to meet there.

“So that’s the reason why you kept bugging us to go? So you can meet up with some girl?” Robin asked as Steve parked the car “Jeez Stevie, I didn’t know you were that dry, cant even call a girl for a private date…” Robin kept mumbling and that earned her a bitchy look from Steve. They walked towards the house and continued teasing each other.

“What about you Eddie, what Steve promised you to convince you to come?” You asked giggling “If he promised you a date with a girl, it’s all bullshit! I saw him doing it before, it’s his little scheme to make you follow him.”

He laughed at what you said and kept walking towards the house. "Actually, he didn't promise me anything. I just asked if I could bring my friends, you know? God knows how much they need to socialize with real people!" You laugh with him. Really, you didn't imagine that nerds would have a very hectic social life. "They're either in there scaring everyone or they're already on the fourth girl of the night!"

“I bet that Gareth is following that same girl he fell in love with at the mall the other day.” You say extending your hand before getting in. He looked at you and clasped your hands together, closing the deal, and pushed you in.

The thing was that you and eddie were friends for a quite some time now and it couldn’t be any different, or more cliche, but you fell for him. He didn’t help though. Always being the best friend he could be, helping you in every way possible, not to count how gentle he was, how smart, how handsome… It was inevitable. You actually tried to make a move a couple of times.

The first time you were at lover’s lake. You went there to hang out because it was too hot to stay inside the trailer. Eddie was smoking a joint and was doodling some things in his notebook. The golden light of the sunset was reflecting on his face and hair, making him shine even more. You were suddenly very close to each other and impulsively you approached and kissed him on the cheek. At first he had no reaction, he just looked at you. Of course you immediately regretted it and soon changed the subject and asked him to take you back to your house.

The second time it was a bit more intense. It was a campaign day and to celebrate the group's victory everyone started drinking the beers that Jeff had managed to get from his dad and the ones Eddie had bought. Eventually everyone left and you stayed to help your friend clean the place that was dirty with beer bottles scattered on the floor. You were already bubbly, laughing at everything and feeling light. Until you leaned on the table in the center of the room to talk. You are not very sure how the conversation took this turn, but you started talking about your romantic lives and Eddie was telling you about some past romances. You made fun of each other, talked about your current situation and again he had approached in a way in which you had no way to escape. It was like a charm. In a matter of seconds you grabbed him by the neck and kissed him fervently. He returned the kiss pressing you against the table. You kissed each other for a while until you returned to sobriety and all that courage completely disappeared from your body. "we are drinking, we shouldn't be doing this in this state of vulnerability" you told him trying to convince yourself that you should not proceed. You shouldn't take advantage of a drunk friend.

You decided not to talk about this kiss with anyone! You didn't even tell Robin about it. You didn't want the subject to just fade out. But that would mean having to confess to Eddie that you were completely in love with him.

Anyway, you entered the house, which was full of horny teenagers drinking without caring too much about the consequences. So you just mixed in, taking a bottle of beer from the kitchen.

Time went by and you managed to sit on the free sofa in the living room. The combination of an empty stomach and many beers was not a very good idea. You hadn't had many beers, trying to be the most aware of them thinking about having to drive back home, but Eddie, Gareth, Jeff and Robin (Steve was probably getting laid in some room on the house because you never saw him again.) were playing their own style of beer pong with bottle caps. Eddie was completely thrown on top of you. His head was on your shoulder, his left arm on top of your lap and his leg was intertwined with yours. Well, Eddie never understood very well the matters of personal space, but that was too much even for him. They probably went out because they went from playing and laughing to be in complete silence.

“Are you ok there? Still alive?” You asked not looking at him, just resting your head on his. He let out a grown when you did that. “Sorry, heavy head.”

“No no, not that… you can stay.” Eddie said, the words coming out kinda dragged from his mouth. “Actually can i tell you something that’s on my head now?” When he spoke you could smell the strong sent of beer. “Do you want to know a secret?”

“What is it?” You asked, caressing his arm that was resting on your lap.

“Do you promise not to tell anyone? Cause is a very important secret!” He lifted his head to make sure you understood how important that was.

“I won’t tell anyone Eddie, i promise!” You said giggling a little but he believed in you.

“I believe in you. Alright come closer, let me whisper to you.” You sat a bit straighter and he approached you, close to your ear so he could whisper. “I am completely immensely desperately crazy head over heels in love with you sweetheart.”

His drunk but sincere words seemed to be echoing in your head. Now you were the one getting dizzy. It just stuck there and you got paralyzed, leaving him in silence too, now with his head back on your shoulder. Eddie? In love with me? How many beers he fucking had?

You looked around to see if someone was looking, but they didn’t seem to notice what was happening there. You were combusting, not knowing what to do. “Sorry I scared ya… I had to let it out. I-I mean it, though. It’s just stuck up there in my head and my chest and if i didn’t say anything i would probably barf…. sorry, thats so not romantic-“

“Eddie… that happened before, remember? Where the booze took us to a place we shouldn’t. We definitely shouldn’t drink beer anymore” You cut him, in disbelief.

“How could i forget? I constantly think about that kiss.”

You made him look at you. His face was a bit tired, his eyes kind of heavy with booze and tiredness.

“And that time in the van, you know… you kissed my cheek. I guess i figured I loved you there.” As those words left his mouth the memories came back all at once, flooding your mind with flashbacks from that day.

“Eddie, love is a very strong and meaningful word!” You speak highly above a whisper. “It’s serious business.”

“And you think I don’t know that?” He adjusted himself in his seat to look better at you. “I might be drunk, but have you never heard that phrase ‘drunk actions are sober thoughts’? I mean it. This is not a joke, it is true and i need you to believe in me!” His pleading eyes were looking at you now, almost crying.

“Eddie, I do, I believe in you! Please d-don’t cry.” You say cupping his cheek. “I just said that because i don’t want you to say all those things and regret later. Because i’ll believe in them and in you. Why do you think i made those ‘moves’ before? I’m also in love with you!”

His eyes teared up anyway and he smiled. “Uh, it’s so nice hearing that, isn’t it?” He said and that made you giggle with him. “Can we go home so I can sober up and say all that again over and over to you!”

“Yes, we can!” You take his hand that was pressing your waist and you give it a kiss, then pressing it against your warm skin. “That was a beautiful secret Eddie!”

“Not as beautiful as you” He kissed your other cheek, pressing them.

You blush at his comment. “Ok, before all this cute thing starts, i’m just going to tell Steve we’re going and-“You finish your sentence before when you see Steve coming up to you a bit annoyed.

“Next time, make me remember to really evaluate all my options, deal?!” He said in a hushed tone.

“What happened Steve? What about that-“ He cuts you again before you could understand.

“I really don’t want to talk about this, i’m going to drink something” The moment he turn away from you and Eddie he saw Gareth on the couch, but there was something unexpected, the girl he was kind of stalking on the mall almost straddling his lap and they’re sharing a heated kiss while Jeff and Robin run away from there. “OH COME ON MAN! EVEN THE NERDS!”

[pankowcrumbs]

Request for Will Poulter. Actress! Reader and Will Poulter participate in the GQ Couples Quiz. Kind of a hard launch.

MasterList

Will Poulter Masterlist

I stared into the mirror as the makeup artist added a final dusting of powder to my cheeks, and I could already feel the butterflies having a party in my stomach. You’d think after years in front of cameras I’d be used to this, but this felt… different.

Because this wasn’t a film. Or a series. Or a red carpet where I could pretend it was all press and PR and walk away untouched. This was us. Me and Will. Together. In front of cameras. For the first time.

“This is such a bad idea,” I muttered, half to myself, half to the poor stylist adjusting my jumper.

From across the room, Will turned his head. He was mid-laugh with one of the producers but still caught it.

“Oi,” he said, making his way over. “Don’t go getting all nervous on me now.”

I looked up at him. “You realise this is basically a hard launch? Like… full-on ‘yes, we’re together and adorable and here’s our quiz to prove it.’”

Will smirked, leaning in to kiss my forehead. “You are adorable. But I am rugged and masculine, remember?”

“Oh yes,” I said dryly. “The very picture of masculinity especially in those lilac socks.”

He glanced down at his feet and grinned. “Fashion-forward. The GQ way.”

“God help us,” I mumbled, taking a deep breath as we were called over to the set.

The setup was simple: two chairs, a small table with cue cards, a softly lit backdrop with GQ’s signature aesthetic. A few cameras pointed in our direction, a producer giving the countdown.

Will sat first, beaming. “Alright,” he said, clapping his hands once. “I’ve been waiting for this.”

“I know,” I groaned, sitting beside him. “You’ve been weirdly excited about it.”

He turned toward me. “We’re doing the Couples Quiz, Y/N. The quiz. I’ve watched the Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively one like five times. This is our moment.”

I tried not to laugh. He was like a kid at Christmas. Still, the moment the cameras rolled, I sat up straighter, adjusted my jumper, and tried not to sweat.

“Alright,” Will said, reading from the cue card. “What is my favourite film of all time?”

I smirked. “Hook. Final answer. You quote it in your sleep.”

Will gave a dramatic gasp. “Correct. And you do a terrifyingly good impression of Robin Williams, by the way.”

“Thank you,” I said with a mock bow. “I trained at RADA, you know.”

“Brag.”

We breezed through the first few questions, laughing more than answering. Favourite meal, dream holiday, weirdest habit; He said mine was putting crisps in sandwiches; I told him that was a national treasure, not a habit.

It was light, funny, and playful. But somewhere halfway through, the tone shifted just a little.

He picked up another card, chewing his bottom lip. “Alright… When did I know I was in love with you?”

The laughter faded from my lips. “Oh.”

Will looked up. “Too much?”

“No. Just… you’re going there.”

He nodded, soft and serious now. “Yeah. I want to.”

I bit my lip, heart racing.

He exhaled. “I knew… I think I properly knew, the night we wrapped on Eclipse.” (Eclipse being the sci-fi film we’d met on he was a hardened war pilot, and I was the scientist who saves humanity, naturally.)

“You came to my trailer,” he continued, “still in that ridiculous spacesuit, with mascara running down your face from laughing so hard… and you gave me half your sandwich even though you were starving. I just remember thinking, ‘She’s it. That’s her.’”

I swallowed hard. “Will.”

He shrugged, smile shy now. “I think I’ve known longer, honestly. But that was the moment it all clicked.”

I reached for his hand. “You’re going to make me cry on GQ.”

“Good content,” he teased.

We kept going, now taking turns. I asked him my favourite city; Barcelona, my go-to karaoke song; “Valerie,” always, and what I do when I’m stressed; clean the flat until it sparkles like I’m preparing for royalty.

He got them all right. Smug git.

Then it was his turn again.

“What’s my biggest fear?” he read.

I blinked. “Blimey, you’re not holding back.”

“I didn’t write the questions!” he laughed.

I paused for a moment. “Losing someone you love.”

He looked at me for a second too long before nodding. “Yeah. That’s exactly it.”

The producer gave a soft call of two minutes remaining.

Will leaned in, his voice low. “Last one. What do I do that annoys you the most?”

“Oh, this list is long.”

He laughed. “Be gentle.”

“Okay,” I said, pretending to think. “It’s when you pretend you’re bad at things so I’ll help you. Like when you ‘forget’ how to use the coffee machine.”

“I’m intimidated by all the buttons!”

“It has two buttons, Will!”

“Too many.”

We both broke into laughter again, the mood light and lovely. And just like that, the interview wrapped.

The cameras stopped. The crew clapped. Someone shouted, “That was perfect!”

Will turned to me, his expression soft.

“You okay?”

I nodded slowly. “I am. Actually, that was… really nice.”

“Told you.” He reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Hard launch success?”

I smiled. “Hard launch complete.”

Later that evening, after the adrenaline had faded and we were curled up on our sofa with mugs of tea and leftover pizza, I scrolled through the early reactions on social media.

“People love us,” I murmured, showing him a post with a picture of us mid-laughter and the caption: ‘If this is what love looks like, I want it.’

He leaned over my shoulder. “Look at us, being couple goals and all.”

“Can’t believe we were nervous,” I admitted.

“Well, you were nervous. I was composed, charming, and devastatingly handsome.”

I elbowed him. “You tripped over the light stand on your way in.”

“And recovered beautifully.”

I laughed, settling into him. “Thank you for today.”

Will looked down at me. “For what?”

“For showing the world what I already know. That you love me.”

He kissed my forehead. “Every second of every day.”

I grinned. “Even when I steal your hoodies?”

“Especially then.”

[ladykailitha]

So I saw this on Facebook and thought it would make a great Steddie fic.

Now the jewelry screams Eddie, but I think that this is bouncer Eddie and drunk Stevie, having been broken up with for the hundredth time and just wanting to get blackout drunk.

Modern AU. Robin is off visiting family when this happens and strictly forbade him from going out. But Steve is out of ice cream and fucks to give so he goes out.

He gets steadily more wasted as the night goes on. He's not even flirting with the hot bartender Chrissy. Which she thinks should feel insulted by, but just really feels sorry for him.

He's a weepy drunk and it's not long afterwards that she cuts him off before he scares off her tips.

She calls over one of their bouncers to get this guy out from under her bar.

Eddie lopes over and picks him up.

They try to get ahold of some of his other friends but they aren't answering, which considering it's well after midnight, Eddie really doesn't blame them for.

But he has a hot mess on his hands and no place to stash him. So he talks to his boss who lets him off early to take care of Steve. Who is definitely NOT sober enough to tell him his address and because he's been kicked out by his girlfriend his wallet really doesn't help (he had been staying at Robin's).

So Eddie takes him home and of course about half way up the stairs to his apartment, Steve empties his stomach EVERYWHERE. All over Eddie's boots, the stairs, but most importantly all over himself.

He manages to make it to his apartment and carefully strips him down to his underwear and socks, removing everything including some small jewelry. He throws the clothes in the washer and then sets about cleaning up any vomit that might still be on the guy and tucks him into bed.

Then he goes about cleaning the vomit up from the hall, he cleans his boots and sets them to dry on the balcony.

Then Eddie starts preparing for the this poor guy's inevitable hangover. Painkillers and water on the nightstand, phone plugged in with a spare charger he had. Wallet and keys next the jewelry in the drawer.

He puts some warm clothes in the top drawer of the dresser, towels on the toilet seat, and making sure there is coffee ready to be brewed for the guy when he wakes up.

Then he goes to sleep himself and wakes up to find the guy still out cold and he has to go to his day job. He feeds Dio his breakfast and takes him out to do his business, but when he comes back and still the guy hasn't woken up. So he types up the note and sets it on the nightstand over top of the guy's phone and heads out.

Two hours later, Steve wakes up to find the worst hangover he's ever had and that includes to the time Robin and Steve decided to do a drinking tour of the world and didn't know you were supposed to spit out after tasting.

He also almost naked and is really freaking out, hoping he didn't have some one night stand because Robin would murder him a second time, after killing him for going out when she told him not to.

Then he sees the note and his heart melts a little at being taken care of then immediately kicks up to 100mph when he realizes who his rescuer is.

The hot bouncer he flirted with the get in the club in the first place.

Shit, shit, shit.

He really needs to leave and needs all of his stuff before he can do that so he reads the note again and re-reads the last paragraph again and again.

Shower, Netflix and doggo? Hmm...

He doesn't work today, that's why he went out drinking in the first place. He could call an Uber to meet him at the main street in the note...

Or...

He could spend the day in comfort and security for once in his life.

He takes the second option and has a lovely time with Dio and messaging Robin.

She's still going to murder him but she's glad he's safe.

Then the owner of said apartment shows up and Steve is really glad he stayed.

They order in and get to know each other a bit more and when he finally gets back to his car and home, he's got a name and a number with the possibility of a date.

Robin absolutely hates his luck. Even more so when she meets Eddie because he's perfect for Steve.

It becomes her funny story at their wedding two years later.

[just-jack-oconnell]

Because I love comparing things. Pick Poor Robin Clean-Rehearsal & scene from the movie Sinners. I absolutely love these 3 together, Lola, Jack and Peter

[goingmerryfics]

Would they kill the spider for you? - Sanji, Law, Doflamingo, Shanks, Corazon

Content: spiders!! (no images!)

Sanji

Since he also hates bugs, this would be a struggle for him. Of course he wants to do it for you, but he gets the shivers when he sees bugs!

Usually when he finds a bug in the kitchen, he’ll ask Robin or Luffy to get it out of there, trying to play it off like he’s worried about it crawling into the food 

Robin knows what’s up, though

He would probably end up calling Zoro in and baiting him with insults into making him slice the spider in half. Like, “bet you can’t even slice that itty-bitty spider over there with those shitty swords of yours”

Zoro falls for it all the time, much to your and Sanji’s delight

Law

You would think so, right? Surely this guy isn’t afraid of a little bug. Right?

WRONG

Law’s eye twitches and he just watches the damn thing run around the wall

He finds bugs and especially spiders gross, even having to hold back a gag as he watches them scurry around with their little legs. UGH

He always tries to avoid bugs when he can, but the sub is a warm, damp place and sometimes they just manage to get in

He will use his Devil Fruit to get it out of the submarine, though. The poor spider will end up drowning and now you have to clean up wet seaweed off the floor, but that’s probably better than a spider, right?

Doflamingo

Fuck no!

Doflamingo isn’t scared of bugs one bit. But he’s a prissy little bitch, and he’d complain about having to touch anything that seemed ‘dirty’.

Absolutely makes someone else get rid of it for you, as he would for himself as well

He also pokes fun at you for even asking him to do that for you, even though he probably would order you to get rid of a bug for him if the situation arose

Doffy was the type to burn ants with a magnifying glass, the prick

He lives for destruction, so I can just see him kicking over the anthills every time, too

Probably crushed a butterfly once! Cora cried

Shanks

No, he would not kill the spider for you. He would pick it up and either toss it over the ship, or place it somewhere else, out of the way, while talking gently to it, like “Poor little thing, Y/N how could you ask me to murder a little creature?”

He’s only doing it to piss you off, because he’ll come right back to you and reaches for your face to touch you with his just-touched-a-bug hand

Even if you swat and scream at him, he’ll try to get his grimy little fingers on you somehow. You’d have to hide from him out of reach if he’s in that kind of mischievous mood

He thinks it’s hilarious how much you avoid bugs, while he is just used to insects of all kinds by now. Being a pirate wasn’t exactly luxurious living

The guy probably has some spider webs under his damn bed. Maybe that’s where they keep coming from

If you catch him while he’s drunk, he’ll pick it up and chase you around the goddamn ship with it

Corazon

Cora is another type who would not kill it, but he would move it somewhere else

He is a gentle soul, and he’d tell you how it’s more afraid of you than you are of it

He finds the nicest spot to put it in, and he walks like all slow-motion because he knows how clumsy he is and doesn’t want to squish it by accident

He’d place it in grass if possible, or anywhere that it wouldn’t get stepped on by accident

I don’t believe he would be gutsy enough to actually touch the spider- it’s more of an aversion than a fear, but he would scoop it into a cup or something he had on hand

He is clumsy enough to step on the bugs if he’s just walking in, though. You’d have to make sure he doesn’t see it’s dead, squashed body, because he would cry

[loservillepopulationtwo]

BATFAM AU - LOA Tim au

-

Tim is prowling the streets looking for crime- sure Batman said no to him becoming Robin but the streets are a mess! Batman needs Robin! Gotham needs Robin! And if no one else is gonna step up then he is! He doesn't have a suit or training so it... has not been going the best so far! But he's going to get better! What Batman gonna do? Tell him to stop? Already didn't work the first time! Besides he strategically picked Crime Alley because Batman avoids this place!

It's not like he can just bump into Robin in the streets anymore!

Sounds of fighting! Just the thing Tim was looking for! He has his handy dandy camera to make evidence of crimes!

Tim edged closer to the fighting from the shadows- some poor guys about to get mugged! Then a fist went flying. But it wasn't his...

It was one of those guys off to the side who clearly had some tragedy lead them here who stare far off into the distance and don't seem all there... Fighting the clearly mentally ill guy- wait that's every Gotham rogue and vigilante- but you know what he means!

Tim was about to move when the guy took down the muggers with trained ease. Robin trained ease. Robin trained ease. He could recognize that fighting style anywhere!

Tim, out of habit, took a picture.

Robin finished up and started walking away.

"H-hey wait!" Tim followed him

Why was he pretending to be dead!?

Robin's head didn't even move towards him when he yelled.

"What-"

Robin stared at him blanky, not blinking, not responding.

"Wait are you okay?" Tim asked to no response.

Does Batman even know he's here?! He knows Batman doesn't know! Batman isn't anywhere near here!

Robin continued walking, almost walking into traffic. Tim shrieked and grabbed Robin's hand before he could walk off.

Oh my god!!! Is he a Zombie!?!? THERE'S A ZOMBIE ROBIN!!!!

They (Tim) waited for the road to be clear before walking.

Robin was going somewhere, what is he doing?

Robin went through the streets before going to what seemed like a condemned building.

Was this Robin activities?!

"For the last time get out of here you damn kids!"

It was not Robin activites

"You his keeper, kid?"

Tim wasn't but he nodded anyway, hoping to fish for information.

"Listen- I don't know or care what's wrong with that kid but keep him out of my house! I don't care if he used to live here."

-

Tim showed Robin his murder board photograph collection in an attempt to get any kind of reaction.

“They’re great photos right? You and Batman! Or Bruce I guess-“

Well. Robin did not like the photos it turns out! Because he froze for a second letting Tim yap before it processed and-

But it’s a win for Tim because he knows he’s right about Robin! Batman can just fix the rest and then he’ll be back to being Robin! Any reaction is better than the far off look right?

(Privately, Tim cried over his prized possessions)

(Jason felt something hearing that he can’t grasp enough thought to know what but his chest felt pain)

-

Honestly Robin being alive made Tim sigh in relief- he didn't want to take the burden of Robin but he couldn't see any other choice!

Now how to return to Batman...

If only there was a return to sender button

I know what you're thinking 'Tim you know Batman's identity! Just tell Bruce Wayne!' if only it was that easy... If only...

"Sorry Mr Wayne isn’t available for an appointment right now! He's currently-" off-world with the justice league "-In Paris!"

Tim sighed. Then double sighed when he saw Robin still sitting in the weirdest most uncomfortable looking position after 3 hours of calls.

"Why is it so hard to return you to Bruce!"

"Bruce"

"Yeah, yeah I know"

-

Tim casually leaned against the door to his room- why of all days was today cleaning day! He bartered off having a nanny when his photography (of Batman and Robin) took off but apparently he still ‘needed supervision to make sure he doesn’t kill himself’ from time to time! Disgusting…

His exnanny gave him a scathing look.

“Please I am only a teenage boy, I am just starting my teenagery as I am 13 I need my space you don’t want to go into my room right now!”

She sighed and Tim counted this as a win.

That’ll only work for one day though he’ll have to figure out something else tomorrow! Hopefully he won’t still be here by then so it’ll be moot point.

Thankfully Robin was malnourished and half dead so he wasn’t so big -hell he was just an inch and a half taller than Tim! though that makes sense since theyre only a year and half or two years apart! should he count the dead bit???- so he wasn’t hard to hide! The hard part was that he kept having panic attacks in small spaces… and then running off… and then Tim would have to find him again.

-

Tim wanted to go to bed. He wasn’t sure where to put Robin before that. He didn’t want him to be too far in case Robin runs off again! He can’t keep going back to Crime Alley! Or random park benches!

His bed is too small for the two of them though, as his parents were going to upgrade his bed to a teenager size one later this year…

“Hahhh, let’s just take my parents room it’s big enough.”

Wait oh god does Robin have enough mental capacity to change? Or take a bath?

-

Robin screamed and it jolted Tim out of his slumber.

“Bruce- Bruce-“ Robin was crying.

‘Nice to know he does remember’ a morbid part of Tim’s brain thought

“Hey- hey- it’s just a-“ this isn’t helping

“I’ll get you to Batman, okay? Soon- Just hang tight okay we’ll-“

Wait maybe that’s why he kept trying to escape at night! He’s following his old routine!

“Want to go find crime- Batman?”

Unfortunately Robin didn’t respond as he was still crying but Tim helped him up anyways.

Tim loves crime. Not doing crime- well doing a little crime- but mostly fixing it!

-

No luck finding Batman but Tim got to copy Robin’s moves live!

He also woke up as a undignified teddy bear the next morning which was not fun.

-

After the 15th call to Bruce Wayne’s personal number Tim was starting to get disappointed. Maybe a different route then…

Tim poked Robin's cheek repeatedly, in an annoying little brother fashion despite being an only child- spiritually he was an annoying younger sibling, "Hey do you know where Richard Grayson went underground to? Any place you two used to hang out?"

Robin grabbed his hand.

"Robin!!! I need that hand!!! How am I supposed to return you without it!!!"

Tim shrieked when Robin almost bit him

-

They were out and about in daylight this time so he couldn’t go calling Robin, Robin. Why on earth his brain defaulted to Brother instead of Jason is beyond him.

Probably that old lady on the bus who called him “such a sweet child for taking care of his brother.”

Thankfully (or not thankfully?) everyone would only stare for a minute before they saw Robin proper and realized and looked away. Which is probably how he wen’t unfound this entire time. No enemies but also still no allies…

Maybe he could try the police station! He’d try Batgirl but no one has seen anything of her in a long time… is she dead like Robin now?

Tim didnt realize his body clenched up at the thought until he felt Robin grip his hand back.

“Thanks Rob- brother of mine”

So they can’t just waltz in there and just ask to use the bat signal right? Besides the commissioner is there right now! If anyone were to catch him before Batman it’s that guy!

They did almost get caught by this red-haired wheelchaired civilian though- that was a close one! But thankfully they made it to the top…

“Whose there?!”

“Oh goddamn it-!”

Tim led Robin to the Bat signal, “Come on Robin! I have a great idea!”

-

“A rogue stole the bat signal?”

Gordon nodded, still feeling numb from the wrench to the back of his head…

Bruce felt a heavy wave of nostalgia and grief, “Jason used to steal from me and hit me with blunt metal objects…” Bruce sighed again. He misses his son. He wants Jason here. Jason would be laughing his ass off right now.

Gordon gave him a sad stare, “Hey if you need to take a step back I can handle this okay…”

Bruce can’t lose another son.

-

“WHY DID A POLICE SHOW UP INSTEAD OF BATMAN?!?”

Thankfully, he didn’t expect a child so Tim kicked him in the balls and ran.

-

“Okay so. It’s been a week. at this point I’m thinking we should break into Wayne Manor!”

Robin didn’t say anything but Tim felt Robin lean into him and that’s as good as he’s gonna get!

“If anyone has any objections to this raise your hand!”

Since Tim was presenting his solutions to his hoard of stuffed animals and a dead Robin no one raised their hand. Tim was satisfied with this!

“I rest my case!”

-

They only got halfway through the plan when they hit a stall.

Assassins!

Who even needs to send assassins against a half dead guy! He’ll die on his own without help!

Robin took one of them down but-

Tim shrieked as some tall lady grabbed him by the back of his shirt.

“This is interesting.”

Enemies found them first! Yayyy fun. Can you hear the sarcasm? because Tim is NOT HAVING FUN!!!

“My tails were following the little dead Robin when they found something of note,” she was looking down directly at him, “A child who out detectived the bat”

The other assassin successfully restrained Robin.

This would be a great time for Batman to appear out of thin air!

Unfortunately, Batman did have a track record for being too late to save his kids.

-

Tim tries memorizing every route they take at first, but as it becomes apparent he’s being taken outside of the country he isn’t sure what to do. Ro- Jason (Talia insisted) stopped being hostile as soon as the assassins stopped being hostile. Does he remember that they were hostile a few hours ago? Does he care?

Jason reached out and grabbed Tim’s hand like Tim did whenever they wen’t out in public, except there were no streets for him to walk into here.

-

Ra who did not want Tim at first but Talia persuaded

"Just the dead Robin would have been sufficient

"He will prove himself useful, father."

"He should hope"

Ra Al Ghul stared down at Tim. For some reason, Tim's spleen hurt. He isn't sure why exactly his spleen, but it hurts.

-

Tim is trained by the LOA, but his main role is gathering intelligence, and other detective-like things. His smarts is the reason he got noticed after all! Talia has a weird (proud) glint in her eyes.

-

Jason has been training as a bodyguard… nanny.

Jason has no clue but it’s really clear to Tim from the way Jason has been taught to swaddle this water balloon and hold it without popping.

There’s one thing Tim has found about Talia and it’s that she would go to great lengths to keep her loved ones safe. Like a baby.

Jason must’ve felt the eyes because he just said “Ball”

Another change with his training- Talia has been having him go through physical and mental therapy. He can say words now! But he has to be retaught them.

So far he has, “Ball” “Mine” and “Milkshake”

Tim’s tried explaining that all foods aren’t called milkshake but that just makes Jason stubborner. Thankfully Tim is even stubborner. Both of them will die on their hills.

-

“For being so smart you haven’t commented on that,” Talia said with amusement.

“Momma didn’t raise no bitch” well Momma didn’t raise nobody Tim’s mom was absent but still! He’s not gonna say that

“Ah, so you have true smarts, unlike my beloved- who can be so adorably dumb when it comes to women.”

Bruce Wayne worlds no 1 fumbler

-

Tim was on his first mission when Damian was born.

“Did Lady Shiva say yes?”

Tim nodded, “She also said congratulations.”

“And you, Tim?”

“…you look really good for having just had a baby?”

Talia huffed, “good, I would be disappointed if you couldn’t even find something like that out.”

She had not informed Tim, naturally. But he’s just a sneaky little guy.

“Come now, let’s go see Damian.”

Damian was swaddled and being held tenderly by Jason, “Mine.”

“Family, Jason we’ve been over this, Family. Remember this word, fam-ily”

“Mine. Family”

“Good enough.”

“He’s so tiny!” exclaimed Tim- he’d never actually seen a baby before. Only things like Richard Graysons baby photos!! This is so different from baby photos!

“Want to hold him?” Talia smiled at Tim

“Mine!”

Talia bonked him on the head, “Share!”

Jason, having long been program to listen to Talia and her progeny did not smack back like he would with anyone else.

Tim felt so nervous holding Damian but Talia and Jason were there so it’d be fine… or he’d get double murdered.

Damian spit up on Tim.

-

“What of the classics have you read?”

Tim shrugged, he kinda just skips school…

Talia looked pained.

“Jason Todd, allegedly, loved reading classical literature back in the day,” when in doubt, just drop a fact Tim shouldn’t be able to know.

Talia was too appeased to remember to force him to read any of them for a month.

-

Tim is starting to think Damian hates him.

He vomits on every one of his good shirts and he’s entirely certain it’s on purpose!

Jason doesn’t care about his poor shirts and keeps attending to Damian.

Tim continuously tries to teach Damian to throw up on Jason too to get back at him!

-

A shadow attacked Damian one night.

Jason tore the heart out of the shadow out, the movements were swift and graceful from training.

"Mine!"

Damian cried.

Tim didn't do anything, the shadows bore the signifiers of Talia's men after all.

Later he did raise an eyebrow when Talia asked them if they had a good sleep.

Seriously, she doesn't need to test them! Sometimes a guy wants a good sleep.

Talia's eyes held a hint of amusement at Tim's disgruntleness.

-

“Tim, if you see Jason letting Damian bite his fingers get Damian one of his teethers. I have no idea where Jason’s hands hand been.”

“Inside a guy’s chest as he ripped out his heart probably.”

“And where have those hearts been!”

-

“Come on Damian! It’ll be super funny! Mur-der”

“ummummummm”

“Mur-der”

“muragh!”

“That’s the spirit!”

Jason was sitting behind Damian, helping him sit up (even though Damian cat sit Jason is just a preprogrammed mother hen) while Tim desperately tried to steal first word from Damian before it could be “ball” or “mine” from mimicking Jason or “Mama” from Talia’s training. That’s why he needs this counter measure!

“Mur-der!”

“murrrr!”

A bird chirped and Damian was instantly distracted, crawling towards it.

Tim turned to Jason, scandalized, “Why’d you let him crawl away!”

Instead of Damian’s first word being the focus Jason went off to catch the bird for Damian leaving Tim with the Baby!

In the end Damian’s first word was “Robin” and none of them taught him this he heard it in passing when he. was chasing the bird as apparently it was a Robin bird?!?. It was the league of assassins version of a babys first word being “fuck”

-

Tim and Talia are on a mission. Tim informs Talia that his sources say that Damian has taken his first steps (towards Jason)

Talia is suddenly in a better mood for the rest of the day and the rest of Tim’s squad are very happy and keep thanking Tim for saving them.

Tim is climbing up this ladder fast, even without being a heavy hitter (he can still fight ofc he loves his Saintie, great for parrying)

-

Damian, Jason and Tim never really got out of the habit of sharing a cot, as Jason and Tim would have to protect more often then not at night- what between Ra’s and Talia’s own men. Tim still doesn’t trust that guy to sleep on his own.

Naturally, Tim and Damian have both gotten used to falling asleep to humming classic Crime Alley tunes.

Not for the first time Tim wonders what kind of things are going on in that brain. If he knows what hes humming.

He’s been here a while, he’s seen the lazarus pits. He wonders what would happen if Jason went in one. Would he be healed?

Damian has never known anything different.

-

Tim, chatterbox, Drake realized pretty quickly that Damian loved hearing stories. It was also helpful to trying to restore Jason's mind to say stories about the past- but the biggest thing was just that Tim's a massive Batman and Robin fan. Being in the LOA has not stopped him.

It's not like Talia minds- she just sighs dreamily at specific points.

Which is how Tim finds himself in the weird position of being inbetween multiple Al Ghuls and a dead Robin telling his stalker stories pretty often.

Talia keeps lecturing him on his format- as it's not good enough for her! Classic lovers...

-

Damian has started training, it's kind of funny to watch someone with such small limbs try to move

Wait is this how Batman felt watching his poor attempt to vigilante!?

Discreetly, Tim pictures for future making fun of purposes when Damian is 20.

Ra didn't even notice!

Tim adds this to his secret photos folder, still full of current Batman photos- oh and the new blonde Robin. He really want's to dig into it but Bruce didn't adopt this one.

-

Jason lost a lot of his ability to understand spoken word. But he can still understand emotions and body language. He's been thrown back to simpler mode of understanding, based mostly on instinct.

It's every human's first language before spoken language. Most forget but for some like David Cain's shadow, it is their first language.

They don't interact much but the few times they do is nice. Everyone else just sees two people sitting in silence and slowly leave.

Sadly, the shadow leaves soon. From the room and the league.

-

Tim really needs to do this.

He really needs do this work.

Why is Damian crying while he's trying to do work!?

Jason is holding him, which usually stops the crying.

"Bad training session?"

Damian sniffled, "I am the grandson of the Demon I never have bad training sessions!"

Tim nodded, "mmm really?"

"Maybe, you wouldn't know!"

Tim just stared at Damian until he caved. Tim's Very Done Look tm has gotten better these past few years.

"I couldn't kill MR- Mr.fluffy"

"Your favorite pet??"

Damian nodded.

"Well shit, I bet me and Jason couldn't do that either!"

Damian immediately scoffed "No need to coddle me Drake!"

"I'm serious"

"Really?"

"Dead serious."

Tim grabbed his hidden pile of photos and took out some Batman ones, "You know Batman thinks killing is shameful?"

Damian blinked, "Father?"

"Bruce," was Jason's helpful addon, which clearly means Tim's right.

"Yeah he has a no killing rule."

"So it's okay if I..."

"It's okay"

Damian didn't want to kill so he wouldn't.

No one else in the League of Assassins is okay with this but they don't matter. Besides, Talia and Jason would die before anything could harm Damian.

-

Tim's been on all kinds of international missions, so it's a bit of a surprise when Talia decides to switch it up a bit.

Jason's been sent to train internationally and Tim's stuck on babysitter duty for the foreseeable future.

Talia barely looked in his eyes. Something serious is going to happen and he's going to need to gather his forces. Thankfully, he's made many connections during his time here. Tim's just cool like that.

(League version of the Teen Titans consider guys guys-)

-

Damian’s aging in this is gonna be a little weird and I’m going to blame it on the lazarus water forcing him to physically grow quicker (because it speeds up healing and he's a kid, has the reverse affect on adults) while he’s being healed so my timeline makes sense. Oh maybe Jason too but he's only been like a few times so he just looks his chronological age. He’s just been in it oh so many times and its so sad and angsty and not all for the timeline! So it’s like 13-15-0 at the start and 16-18-6 physically for the sake of my sanity we dont need to think about things like “barely remembering anything after 15” or “being born 4 years ago” its not important

-

Jason wakes up in the lazarus pit very confused. He doesn't remember the last few years.

Tim and Damian try very hard to hide their dissapointment. They're very happy Jason is healthier-

"Do you really not remember?" the little kid stared up at Jason and Jason felt his heart pierce. Why does he feel so bad???

Why does he trust these people? It's hard to control his instincts with them- his instincts just turning into either putty.

-

A shadow comes near them and Jason instinctively growls and rips the shadow into pieces.

Okay so. His instincts is so different now?

"...are you okay?" Jason asked the two

Neither looked surprised or at all scared.

-

Something about his and Tim's height difference keeps making his thoughts fall into 'I remember when me and Tim were around the same height' before he goes 'WHAT???'

Damian walking and his stupid brain goes 'Damian's first steps'

What is this??? It's so weird!!

-

"So Jason clearly has some kind of memory of us it's just kinda buried," Tim informed Damian, thankfully they're two shadows Jason never notices.

-

Damian steals Tim's photo folder and shows Jason

It takes a while but Jason just gives up and accepts this is his life now

-

Jason stared at Talia with wide eyes, "Oh my god"

Talia tilted her head.

Jason gasped as clarity finally hit him, "You have an adoption problem like Bruce!"

"What?"

"He's right though," agreed Tim, who was conscious through the entire process. He's never actually known Bruce but that matches with his data that he'd be like Talia. They had to have somethings in common to have dated!

Maybe they broke up because Talia didn't know she was an adoptmaniac like Bruce. Tim looked over and made eye contact with Damian and they shared a little nod in understanding.

They could totally get Talia back together with Bruce and then he could be step son! It's one spot removed from his old wattpad fanfics but it's close enough!

Though he really wishes people would stop leaving hate comments about Batman's secret identity being Wruce Bayne...

-

Tim was telling another story to pretending not to be starry-eyed Damian and pretending not to be listening Jason.

Jason kept giving him the funniest look when Tim detective Drake knew things he shouldn't. Tim would just smile and Jason would grumble under his breathe.

It's going great even with Jason being such a drama queen after being bathed in Lazarus water.

Tim opened his mouth to continue when Jason stomped over in dramatic outrage, "Your format sucks! Have you ever even analysed books???"

Classic lovers.

-

Tim decided to force the classic lovers to talk to eachother instead of bothering him! At least Damian doesn't interrupt him!

-

Things are going on in the background that neither Tim nor Talia appreciate.

Talia doesn't need to tell him, Tim starts finding discreet ways to change locations.

-

"Come on guys! We need to go!" said Tim as soon as Jason snuck back into their room after a mission

"Uh-"

"Tim is right- it's no longer safe for you here," said Talia who was also here- shit it must be important then... Not just Tim being crazy...

Jason nodded and went to grab Damian when he noticed something off and paused, slowly turning back around, "Tim... where's your spleen?"

"Ra has it"

"...I have several follow up questions"

"No time- we need to hustle!"

And like that they're on the run from everyone, making their way to Gotham again. It's been years since Tim has been home.

-

"YOU TRIED TO BECOME ROBIN????" Jason turned to face the back of Tim's head, whisper yelling (he can't yell properly because Damian is asleep with them)

"You were dead!" Tim whisper-shouted in defence, "Batman needed a Robin! Everyone was too devastated after your death to Vigilante properly!"

"What do you even know about Robin?"

"So much-"

"You're a trust fund baby! You've never even slept on the streets!"

Tim turned to give Jason a scathing glare, "Were sleeping on the streets right now!"

"My point still stands!"

Damian rolled over in his sleep and hit them both in the face.

-

“Robin me could beat Robin you up,” declared Jason, the next morning.

Tim gasped in offence, “Robin me would beat Robin you up!”

“With what? your face being so ugly I die instantly”

“…I was gonna say crowbar-“

“WHAT”

“But I’m gonna go with doxxing”

“Too soon Tim!”

“It’s been 4 years!”

“It’s been like 4 months for me!”

Damian, who was casually eating his breakfast, looked up at Tim, “Wouldn’t doing that make you a villain not a Robin?”

Jason grinned, all teeth, “He’s right! It’s Robin vs Villain Tim!”

“It’s not villainous-“ “Villain Drake would win” “what?” “what?”

Jason made a wounded noise.

They went back to eating their breakfast.

Chomp chomp chomp

nom nom nom

chomp nom nom

nom…

Jason suddenly stood up, “WE NEED TO MAKE VILLAIN COSTUMES!”

Tim stared up with judgemental eyes.

“What??”

“For when we return to Gotham!”

“Why would we need Villain Costume’s-“

“I call the coolest costume!” Damian demanded immediately

Jason nodded placatingly, “We’re gonna be the coolest! I’m gonna call mine Red Hood!”

“Because your League outfit has a red hood?” asked Damian with innocence

“Wait why should we be villains?!”

Jason stared at Tim like he was dumb, “So we can make villain monologues- duh”

“Nerd.”

-

Staring at Gotham, as they got closer and closer. Tim wonders why he ever agreed to this.

This is the dumbest villain costume.

Why can’t they just be vigilantes!