#I TAKE IT BACK ALL OF IT LOGAN'S NOT EDGY ACTUALLY HE'S JUST ONE OF US™ AND I AM V HAPPY :3

[brw]

I saw one of your older post regarding beast descent to villainy. If you wrote a similar story how would you go about it?

ooooo okay, i have a few different ideas! I'm gonna organise these into little bullet points, because I have different ideas of what would work in different time periods Vs what I think artistically / thematically would be fun to play around with as a writer & artist. I'm putting these under a cut because I ended up saying a lot more than I thought I would so apologies in advance!

Okay my first idea is a fairly standard one and it's kind of similar for what's going on currently but like. actually taking into account who Hank was before instead of just putting an edgy OC in his skin. Because I do think Hank has increasingly got more comfortable with compromising his own morals for the idea of the greater good and I do think he gets that trait from Charles, and I think he's very easily manipulated into doing bad things if it's sold to him as being for the greater good of it all. But the thing is, Hank would never stop personally loving, caring and respecting the people he works with. He would never stop fighting on behalf of Logan, Ororo, Jean, Wanda, etc, he would never stop trying to be their friend and vying for their love and appreciation. And I think in a situation where he thinks that what he's doing is justified but it comes at the cost of them no longer respecting him, I think he would internally hate himself a lot more. Hank has always been someone susceptible to internal conflict and self-hate and my vision for a villainous Hank would be for those to be his core defining features as a villain. Someone who does genuinely believe what they're doing is right but hates himself every step of the way as it distances him further and further from those he loves. He couldn't necessarily be reasoned with but you would always be able to see how much guilt he felt for having to hurt those he cares about rather than mindlessly killing Logan when it suited him. Before anything, Hank McCoy is someone who loves his friends and I would prioritise that as his core trait as a villain.

Alternatively, I think another route I can see Hank becoming a villain is that I think Hank has already begun to feel distant from the other X-Men and from his other friends. I think during Bendis' stint and IvX is where this is most clear and that's what this would be based off from. I think when the X-Men gather as a group to try and stop Hank from doing what he's doing, "The Trail of Hank McCoy" or whatever the issue is called, I think I can see a particularly testy Hank who is already doing in his mind everything that can be done to help them going "alright, fuck you, maybe I will be this awful mad scientist you keep pushing me to be". This is kind of a pure villain and wouldn't be terribly in character but I would put the more campy, hedonistic Avengers-y side of Hank to the forefront because I think before anything a properly, genuinely villainous Hank who is leaning into villainy should be fun. Like Dark Beast, awful, but he's fun! Current Hank has none of the pizazz of Dark Beast or of Sinister or Doom or whoever and I think that stylishness and charming villainy would be what I would want of a properly evil Hank. If he is going to be evil, and be someone you absolutely cannot reason with, he should be fun. He should be exciting and charming and exactly as suave and as emotionally intelligent as he was before.

Moving into less specific and more vibe-based ideas, another route for what isn't necessary villain Hank but certainly a much more vicious one is that during a bad spell Hank works on trying to cure himself again of his blue guise. Maybe tensions are rising, maybe he's isolated, maybe he got hate crimed, maybe someone was too condescending to him, who knows, but he doesn't want to be blue anymore and is determined to cure this via some old methods that Ben Grimm managed to turn back into human those random few times. It works, but what he ends up with is a Jekyll and Hyde situation where the Beast suddenly is its own distinct animalistic persona. The reason for this is that I think Hank spends a lot of time thinking about what his life would be like if he wasn't so visibly mutant and this would give that to him, but he's so focused on not letting his other persona slip out that he doesn't enjoy it at all and arguably becomes more reserved and isolated in an attempt to make sure he never gets tempted to turn blue again. And the blue side obviously is where all the fun loving, charming side of Hank went into, as well as all the primal urges and viciousness. I think it would be fun for Hank to explore that maybe him as his blue self really is the best place for him to be, as well as probably causing conflict when the X-Men want to use his furry self but he doesn't want that and ends up feeling used. A little Hulk esque I guess, I think it could be a fun exploration where Blue Hank is the one that everyone wants, but he is borderline feral a lot of the time and can really easily become incredibly dangerous because he doesn't have the impulse control Hank would usually have.

Hank becomes a werewolf. I'm not elaborating this one I just think it would be fun.

Another idea I have for an evil Hank is a Hank who got stuck in a time loop. Where he was constantly forced to relive a series of days where he couldn't save some of his closest friends and the repetition of seeing them suffer eventually drove him more or less mad and now he's so determined to protect his friends that he ends up like. slaughtering any kind of threat he can see and becomes increasingly deranged and vicious. I like this one because it brings Hank's love of his friends to the absolute forefront where that's the exact reason for his actions–he can't bare to ever go through anything like that ever again.

Another way I think Hank could become, not necessary even evil but certainly a lot more willing to act evil is if he and Dark Beast or another Beast that isn't Dark Beast specifically but another evil alternate universe Beast switched bodies permanently for a few years and nobody noticed. This is actually one of my favourite ideas for "fixing" the current characterisation and is based off the Star Trek Mirror universe episodes. 616 Hank tries to act more or less normal so he doesn't end up like, exiled and so he can work on getting home but has to like do un-anaesthetic open heart surgery every morning otherwise people will get suspicious, and by the time he manages to switch back his exposure to such a dark world has meant he's a lot more desensitised and prone to violence than before. He's still fighting for the X-Men and is still generally loving but when before he wouldn't claw someone's face off, now he definitely will because he's become so used to it.

and yeah! I have a few more vague ideas floating around but those are my general ideas for how I would personally like to do a villainous Beast arcs. None of them are perfect, all of them have flaws, but my goal would to always keep as much as Hank's character consistent. Because my problem isn't Hank as a villain–my problem is that so little of who Hank is has carried over to villain Hank to the point of which he feels like an entirely different character. Hank being evil shouldn't mean Hank suddenly doesn't flirt anymore or that he no longer is a caring person and no longer holds the safety of his friends as a priority, but because Percy's aim is to shock rather than to tell a compelling story we don't have any of those aspects of who he is. Anyway I hope these were interesting to read and I hope I explained them well! Have a nice day.

[shadow-logan]

100 OC Questions - Answered

questions are c/o the-moon-dust-writings! bulleted responses are Shadow's and responses without a bullet are mine.

i've got his backstory up, but here's some quick context:

he's a reborn (looks like a teal-haired anime wolf boy)

he's been alive for 1 year in-game

26 y/o body

arcane trickster/bladesinger

he's a Harper, but is still trying to navigate his relationship with the Zhentarim

How do they present themselves to others?

like, disguised? Not disguised? What do they mean?

I think they mean just… What you're like when you first meet someone.

uh… Myself, usually

You're pretty standoffish. You like talking with people, but most people scare you.

this is true. I'm always searching for what makes them tick or what they're hiding.

2. Do they like animals?

YES

but they also confuse you.

yes

Care to explain?

animals don't make sense to me. Why can't they transform like Lily? Why do they choose those forms? And permanently?

… That's not how it works, but I see your point.

3. How do they dress?

clothes. Next question

Oh my god, Shadow. You dress in whatever's comfortable and available

bonus points if it's black

4. How many languages do they know?

does Thieves’ Cant count?

Sure

then… Technically…. Four, I guess. Common, Elvish, Thieves’ Cant, and a bit of Giant.

5. How big is their family?

… You answer this one. I don't wanna.

You consider Lily, Caim and Blaze family. Newer members to your family are Krowen, Vidar and your Tressym! Your winged snake familiar is special to you, too.

yeah. Just sucks that the Zhents still consider me family, but I'm starting to see that as… Not that.

I won't push you closer or away from them. I just want you to be happy and safe.

sigh yeah. Family sucks sometimes.

6. What is their purpose in the story?

my friends and I are adventuring together to root out the cause of the Giants’ behaviour. I'm also on a quest for ALL of the knowledge!

7. Do they know how to fight?

Several styles, actually!

yeah!! I've been developing my own sword scales!! And my magic is slowly growing more powerful. It's scary, but really cool, too!!

8. What is their back story?

Both: gesture to 40 pages of backstory "that"

9. Why is their name, their name?

I can't remember if I was like, "ah, shit!! I need a name!! Uhhhh…" Or if I was like, "you're gonna be 'Shadow' because it's edgy hehe"

either way, it works!! I'm a shadow of past lives and I'm starting to live my own life. I've taken on Logan's name, too, since it came to me when Jamna first asked for my name. I like the ring of Shadow-Logan.

7. Do they have any nick names?

not really? I guess Shart might be a nickname

Please don't give your friends that kind of power

8. Do they have a romantic interest?

Xavlith

9. How do they cope with struggles?

you don't.

wrong. I sit on rooftops and write to Selûne. She likes me, but I know she can't solve all of my problems for me. Even so, I like writing to her.

fair point. it works pretty well for you.

oh, i also rage and sign blood pacts, apparently

there it is.

10. Do they have anyone they can lean on?

Blaze is cool, but I've known Caim and Lily for longer. Caim's also saved my life a few times, so he's become a brother to me. I'm gonna go with Caim and Lily.

11. How do they react to someone dying?

depends on who it is. Myself? Been through it at least once, could probably handle it again. Friend? Not well. Enemies? Spits.

12. Can you name 5 personality traits they have?

i don't know, can you?

shut up lol. sigh. you're... determined, analytical, curious, adaptable and loyal.

interesting wait of saying "stubborn little shit who doesn't take 'no' for an answer", heh

oh my god, shut up. you're a cool dude, but you really don't let your guard down, ever. you'll stop at nothing on the pursuit of knowledge

you're not wrong

13. How did they become a character?

you needed a DND character. apparently i was a halfli--

*grabs his lips* YOU WERE ALWAYS A REBORN ANIME WOLF BOI. NEVER A HALFLING. NEVER A SHIFTER. UNEARTHED ARCANA??? NEVER HEARD OF IT.

14. Do they get along with others?

you try

not always successfully

you're getting better, though

... i appreciate it. it's hard being nice when you don't know a person's true motives

15. What flaws do they have?

both: "a lot"

oh, i'm fucking flawed. i'm angry, resentful and manipulative

to be fair, while not objectively great traits, they've helped you with certain dealings

16. How do they influence the story?

neither of us know how you truly influence the story

yeah, i guess we're kinda just vibing and seeing where the timeline takes us

17. What do they look like?

i'll post some art soon enough!

18. What are their hobbies?

writing, reading, doodling. also people-watching.

19. What are their ticks?

people tAKING TOO LONG TO SPEAK. STOP TALKING SO SLOWLY. JUST SPIT IT OUT, ALREADY, GODSDAMMIT.

20. Do they like children?

remember Kyla? the one with 2 moms? back in Silverymoon? she was cool. pretty sure she wasn't freaked out by me and was just curious. other than her? kids kinda just confuse me. why are they so small???

you're a unique case, Shadow. you rose from the dead. that's not the average person's experience.

but still... *visible consternation*

21. How do they react to being around wild animals?

i'm used to Lily--our Sea Elf Druid--being in Wildshape, so wild animals don't really freak me out. I like seeing and learning about them.

22. If they were given the task to prank someone, who would it be, what would they do, and would the prank work?

pretty sure you've pranked Caim before.

yeah, i just don't remember how... anyway, i'd probably prank Caim or Blaze. i wouldn't do anything malicious, just... uh... swap their salt and sugar or something. depends on where we're staying and what i have access to, y'know?

23. Do they have any survival skills?

i can pitch a tent?

you're kinda lucky you don't need to eat, sleep or breathe. you just find places to hide and hope for the best.

basically

24. Are they more book smart or street smart?

surprisingly, both!

yeah, i guess i'm more street smart, but only because i've basically lived on the streets. i haven't had as much time as i'd like to read.

25. How do they get out of a difficult situation?

with my daggers

sweet heavens, boy.

okay, fine... mage hand.

what?

i don't know. i just usually try to talk my way out of shit. or pull out my tressym if things get awkward. i makes for a wonderful scapegoat---er, scape-tressym--and distraction

26. Do they use their body, mind, personality or force to get what they want?

my personality sucks, so it's usually up to my mind to get what i want.

this is true. however, you've used your body before.

mhmm. not too proud of that

27. What music do they enjoy?

i blame you, but pop-punk

i will accept full responsibility for this

and the just over 600 songs on the playlist you've curated for me?

with pride

MORE Q'S BELOW! I'LL GET TO THEM (AND RENUMBERING THEM) LATER LOL

28. How do they overcome obstacles?

29. When faced with a difficult decision do they get stronger or break?

30. Do they have any special powers?

31. How do they change throughout the story?

32. Do they have any friends? If so, are they close knit?

36. How is their family life?

37. Are they likable?

38. Are they the hero, or anti-hero?

39. Do they make questionable choices?

40. How do they become who they are?

41. How was their childhood?

42. Are they close with anyone who is going to screw them over?

43.How do they adapt to different situations? Do they adapt at all?

44. How do they speak? Examples - Are they soft spoken, hot heated, vulgar

45. Are they opposed to violence?

46. When is their birthday?

47. Are they quick to judge?

48. Do they have anything they are trying to hide from others?

49. Do they act different around different people?

50. Do they enjoy the arts?

51. Do they like science?

52. Are they more emotional or logical?

53. How do they deal with their emotions?

54. How do they cope with sadness?

55. What is something they care about?

56. Would they die for anyone/anything?

57. What do they do when they are happy?

58. How would they come across to other characters? Examples- messy, lazy, childish, caring etc.

59. Do they have a phrase they use over and over?

60. In a crowed room are they in the corners, sides, or in the middle?

61. Are they comfortable being in a crowed room?

62. How do they relax?

63. Have they ever harmed anyone and regretted it? Verbally or physically?

64. Do they like to dance?

65. How do they get around their environment? Examples - horses, bike, vehicle

66. What is their pet peeve(s)?

67. Do they have a disability?

68. How do they react to getting flowers?

69. Would they ever wear a flower crown?

70. Do they like themselves?

71. Who do they dislike?

72. What is their motto?

73. Do they have any markings on their body?

74. Have they ever been abused?

75. What is their biggest fear?

76. What are their goals?

77. How do they go about achieving their goals?

78. Do they have a fight or flight response?

79. Is there someone in their life that they care about more than themselves?

80. How would they fare in zombie apocalypse?

81. Do they have any tattoos? If so, are they significant?

82. Are they good at mental math?

83. Do they get along with others?

84. Are they lazy?

85. Are they self motivated?

86. How do they cope with anger?

87. Have they ever been in a situation where they were helpless?

88. Are they organized or messy?

89. Can they remember a lot of information at once?

90. What is their occupation?

91. Do other characters respect your OC, if so, is it out of fear? Or do they respect your OC because they like them?

92. If they were given minutes to live, what would they do? Who would they want to see and say?

93. How do they deal with stress?

94. Do they have a more submissive or dominate personality type?

95. Do they have a pet?

96. Do they have a stash of weapons?

97. Where do they live? Who do they live with?

98. How do they calm themselves down?

99. Are they co-dependent?

100. Are they a day, or night person?

[kurt-wagner-official]

Post #5: UXM issues 101-104

I finally made it to the Phoenix Saga! This is one of the most important milestones of Claremont’s run, but the first chapter, issue 101, has almost no action or plot development, other than the initial spaceship crash and the cliffhanger. Instead, it’s mostly a series of character moments. As I said, the first few pages see the X-Men crash their ship into the ocean. As they all come up gasping for air, Scott tries to dive back under to find Jean, but then she bursts out of the water in her Green Phoenix costume declaring herself to be fire and life incarnate before falling unconscious. Xavier erases the X-Men from the memories of the onlookers and they get Jean to a hospital. The next few pages follow the characters sitting in the waiting room waiting for updates. Logan leaves to buy flowers for Jean, hoping to surprise her, but when he gets back and finds everyone else sitting outside her room, he throws them away and goes back to standing in the corner brooding. At this point in Logan’s arc, I actually do think his unrequited feelings for Jean add to his character. But years down the line, once he’s accepted the others as his family, and especially once Jean starts returning those feelings, it becomes an awful plot thread that regresses both characters every time they share a scene. But I’ll stop complaining about that for now. Scott has another nice little internal monologue, where he laments choosing the X-Men over Jean for so long. When the doctors come back with the news that Jean is going to recover, everyone rejoices except Scott, who goes off on his own to privately weep tears of joy. He still can’t open himself up emotionally to the new team, even Kurt, who checks on him but decides he needs the alone time. Xavier tells the rest of the group that he’s sending everyone except Scott on a leave of absence, both to give Jean space to recover and to give them all a chance to unwind away from the X-Men. Sean suggests Ireland, since he just got a letter from his lawyer saying he’s inherited his family home. We saw last issue that his lawyer was trying to get his help to stop Sean’s cousin, Black Tom, who killed him right after he sent it and has been waiting to spring a trap. But first, the X-Men take a scenic tour of the countryside around Dublin, where they start unwind and bond more (except Logan, who’s still in his edgy loner phase). When they finally get to the Cassidy estate, Sean becomes suspicious of the butler’s behavior (he’s being blackmailed by Black Tom, who’s taken hostages). As everyone gets together to make their way to dinner, the floor gives way to a trapdoor, and our heroes find themselves face to face with Black Tom and the Juggernaut. Ororo, who’s been uncomfortable the whole time she’s been in the stone castle, is now trapped in the dungeon, and has a panic attack just as the battle is about to start.

Issue 102 opens with the battle scene. Tom and Sean, being related to each other, are immune to each other’s powers, so they have a fistfight while the others get beat up by Juggernaut (also known as Cain Marko, Xavier’s stepbrother and one of the original X-Men’s greatest enemies). Ororo flashes back to her childhood, and we learn that she was born in Harlem to N’dare, a Kenyan princess, and David Munroe, an American photojournalist, who moved to Cairo when Ororo was a baby. Five years later, they were both killed by a French plane in the Suez War, and Ororo was trapped under the wreckage with their corpses- the source of her claustrophobia. This being a American corporate comic book in the 70s, the book doesn’t outright condemn the European invaders, but I do think it’s very telling that it’s an imperialist attack that traumatizes Ororo. It’s an interesting parallel to how we saw humans trying to control and destroy mutants in the last arc and many times later in the series. Back to the story; Ororo spends the next few years as a thief on the streets of Cairo before traveling south to her mother’s homeland, which is where Xavier recruited her many years later. The story cuts back to New York, where Jean is introducing Scott to her roommate, Misty Knight, a major character in the world of NYC street level heroes who Claremont often writes into his series. Xavier feels the mental anguish from Ororo and realizes she’s fighting Cain, but when he tells Scott to go help them he refuses, saying that Jean needs him and that he couldn’t get there in time anyway. This prompts Xavier to call him an “ungrateful, unspeakable cur,” until he’s interrupted by another vision of Lilandra, who he’s been having nightmares of. Side note- Xavier is a really terrible father, and it’s good to see Scott stand up to him, even though it doesn’t happen very often until Deadly Genesis destroys their relationship for a while.. Back at Cassidy Keep, Tom taunts Sean with the knowledge that he and Cain have a secret benefactor paying them to kill the X-Men before knocking him out. Meanwhile Juggy has defeated all the others, even Ororo, who pushes past her fears too late to save them. and the two plan to torture them until Xavier comes to their rescue so they can kill him too. They take everyone prisoner except for Kurt, who’s unconscious body is taken away by leprechauns.

In issue 103, Kurt gets an infodump from the leprechauns and the Cassidy butler, who tell him how the villains took the leprechaun families living in the Keep hostage on the orders of Erik the Red. Kurt also learns that he turns invisible in shadows, one of the several random powers he has that eventually become ignored by writers as they emphasize his teleporting. Cain and Tom are about to start torturing the others to draw Xavier in before Kurt shows up, using his image inducer to appear as the professor. He taunts them until Tom destroys the wall of the keep in anger, giving Ororo a view of the sky and the mental strength to summon a wind that frees herself and her friends. They escape, but their enemies still have Sean as a hostage. That is, until Kurt frees Sean, who destroys the floor under Cain’s feet, sending him down to the rest of the X-Men. Sean and Tom fight until the former knocks the latter over the cliff into the water, which thanks to Ororo is storming more than it has in years. Cain jumps in after him (because he’s secretly in love with him, but nobody at Marvel listens to me when I say that), and our heroes seem to be safe. Until we cut to Eric the Red telling his boss, the still unnamed D’Ken, that he’s recruited a new ally to destroy the X-Men- Magneto.

In issue 104, the X-Men are on their way to Muir Island to check on Jamie Madrox, who Moira left in charge while she’s in New York. When they arrive, however, their hovercraft mysteriously rips itself apart. They proceed on foot to the lab dodging a few more random explosions until they get inside and meet the culprit- Magneto. About Magneto- these days he’s remembered as one of the greatest antiheroes in Marvel history, but back in the early days, he was just another generic villain with barely any backstory or motivation. It’ll be Claremont who masterfully reimagines him as a Holocaust survivor driven by his fear of a mutant genocide, but that story doesn’t come until UXM 150. For now, he’s still a bland Doctor Doom. As he’s fighting the X-Men, Moira and Scott arrive on the other side of the lab, oblivious to what’s going on. It’s here that Scott learns that Muir Island has been the professor and Moira’s secret research facility since the beginning, and a prison for many of the X-Men’s enemies. He’s understandably pissed at the secrecy, but he has to put that on hold when they find Jamie unconscious. He tells them that Eric the Red showed up earlier with the still brainwashed Alex and Lorna looking for Magneto, who’d been turned into a baby a few years earlier in a Defenders story. Eric used his Super Alien Power Ray to age Magneto up and team up with him. Scott runs off to find the X-Men, who are losing badly. Magneto has taken everyone out and is about to finish them when Scott surprises him and stuns him for a few seconds. The team retreats on Scott’s orders to stop Eric the Red from killing the professor, leading to another argument from Logan about Scott’s leadership. Magneto walks free- and unknown to everyone, the battle has awoken Proteus. Meanwhile, across the universe, the Starjammers makes their first, brief appearance, talking mysteriously about the emperor’s plans to open a dimensional gate which could doom everyone. Lilandra has almost made it to Earth, but she’s under attack by an Imperial cruiser. Jean, Misty, and the professor are being visited by Jean’s parents and stalked by Eric the Red, who’s final pawn- Firelord- is almost here to help him destroy his enemies.

This was a lot longer than I expected, so I’ll end it here and cover the second half of the Phoenix Saga next post.

[heffrondriving]

IMPECCABLE MUSIC TASTE??? LOGAN HAS ABSOLUTELY GOT IT!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

[doctorofmagic]

On Captain Marvel #29...

Warning: You’re totally free to disagree with me on this one, this is merely my perspective.

*rant mode on*

I love and hate all of this. I love the fact that Stephen is this sweet to the point of acknowledging that Carol needs Rhodey and he’s willing to play the role of wingman so they can go back together.

But I also hate how little they care about Stephen’s feelings. I hate how Carol used Stephen and now Rhodey also dislikes him for it as if he was a jerk (he isn’t. He’s really sweet the entire arc).

I love and hate how he’s so cute here.

I hate how the cover is painfully misleading just to play with our emotions. I hate how Carol thinks Stephen is against her so she can fail. She says "Is it possible that Strange wanted me here? No. He doesn't know everything... just likes to pretend he does." 

BRO, REALLY, WHY WOULD STEPHEN WANT TO HURT YOU? TO TEACH YOU A LESSON BECAUSE HE SAID YOU SHOULDN’T LEARN MAGIC? HE’S NOT THAT PETTY. THIS IS SO STUPID, STEPHEN IS ACTUALLY DOING THE OPPOSITE, HELPING YOU OUT WITH RHODEY SO THE TWO OF YOU CAN GET ALONG ONCE MORE.

I am SO done with writers using Stephen and ignoring his feelings, or portraying heroes like they don’t trust or care about Stephen, as if he was just an old, lonely petty man.

He deserves SO much better.

I know I said that I preferred ships with emotional background, and this is why I found Stranvers nicer than Elektrange. But now, looking back to Savage Avengers, I’m so much more inclined to see Elektrange with an open and light heart in opposition to Stranvers because:

- Elektra and Stephen were very clear about what they wanted. They knew they were about to die and they didn’t expect it to last. It was a one-night stand and nothing else. But Elektra was so nice to him all the same. She brought him coffee and she didn’t nourished negative feelings towards him. They’re still on the same team, they stil respect each other. She still trusts Stephen to do the job, and she’s an assassin. Yes, that’s right. An assassin was kinder to him.

- Whereas Carol keeps taking it on a personal level, assuming that Stephen is proud and petty enough to see her fail. They were both vulnerable and, at some point, agreed it was just a hook-up. And they did it three times. Once may be a mistake. Two, perhaps? But three????? And she keeps saying it was a mistake, as if it was something bad. Just. Don’t. It was a choice, and it was good because you did it three times. And Stephen, being very rational about her demands, refuses to teach her magic and she’s all edgy because she now believes he’s a bad man, hoping to see her fail (regardless the fact that all magic users also find it a bad idea). And it’s not personal because Logan also did the magic tour once in order to go back in time and every magic user refused. Because magic comes at a cost, and it’s dangerous. You don’t simply teach it to people who are not willing to sacrifice their lives for it. I posted something about this matter just yesterday. “It hurts, doesn’t it, Doctor? It hurts to be Sorcerer Supreme,” says Mr. Misery in Doctor Strange v4 #12.

“So let me finally put your mind at ease -- I’m training you to be the next Sorcerer Supreme, and it is not a gift, it is a sentence,” Stephen says in What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme.

And lastly, from Doctor Strange v2 #54:

So yes, teaching magic is a very touchy subject to Stephen. It’s not personal, Carol. It’s not an easy thing to do. It demands sacrifice and more guilt. Look at what happened to Zelma. Stephen lost Wong when he decided to teach her. And he lost Zelma anyway because it’s Stephen. He ended up completely alone because of magic.

And still, after all this, Carol really sees Stephen as this petty, arrogant man who won’t help her. No, who will make sure she fails. While he’s actually sending Rhodey to save her because she’s too blind and stubborn to see she’s wrong.

You know what? Kelly Thompson’s Carol doesn’t deserve Stephen. If I ever am to see Stephen and Carol’s relationship, she better not be involved. This is the same treatment Peter and Felicia gave to Stephen and he ended up helping them all the same. Because that’s Stephen. That’s who he is. He’s not a hero, and yet he’s one of the most altruistic and sensitive heroes of all. Because he’s such a selfless person at this point due to pain and guilt and self-loathing that he will ignore his own feelings for others (remember when he tried to kiss Carol? He already had feelings for her, and now he’s out there helping Rhodey to get back to her). THIS IS THE CHARACTER I CHOSE TO BE MY FAVORITE, FOLKS. And I don’t regret a thing. I’m done.

*flips the table and leaves*

[averykedavra]

A Vision with Nowhere to Go

Hi, yes, the Roman skirt pics watered my crops and healed my soul, so I wrote a quick drabble in their honor! This was entirely unplanned. But. Hi. Yes. The Roman skirt picks watered my crops and healed my soul, so--

(Title is from Ready to Go by Panic! at the Disco. This fic is on Ao3 here!)

Pairings: platonic DLAMP

Words: 1742

Warnings: a bit of insecurity and anxiety

“I’ve gathered you here,” Roman said, “for an important consultation. Thank you all for coming.”

Patton grinned back. Logan looked confused. Virgil blinked blearily, having been just dragged from his bed and plopped on the living room couch with the other Sides. Janus stifled a yawn with one gloved hand, another drumming on his knee.

“Do we...” Logan paused. “Am I alone in being confused?”

“Oh, no, you’re the only one who doesn’t get it,” Janus drawled. He examined his nails. “I had important things to do. This had better be worth it.”

“You owe me,” Roman said. He squared his shoulders and prepared his speech. “And this is extremely important. Life-threatening! A dilemma for the ages!”

“Yay!” Patton said, clapping.

“Wait, wait.” Virgil squinted suspiciously across the couch. “Deceit is here?”

“I don’t have a name.”

“Janus is here because, as I said, he owes me.” Roman paused and braced himself. “Also, although I’m loathe to admit it, he is skilled in the dramatic arts. Such as--fashion.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Virgil leaned back into the pillows. “He wears gardening gloves from the nineteen-fifties.”

Janus looked offended. “You threw random squares of flannel onto your hoodie, and you call me lacking fashion sense--”

“Kiddos,” Patton said firmly. “This is about Roman right now. Shush.”

Virgil grumbled but went silent. Janus gave Logan a knowing, annoyed look. Logan didn’t return it.

“It is about me,” Roman said, beaming. He was jumping up and down on the balls of his feet. “Now, as you know, we’ve been having some lovely photoshoots. Patton looked adorable--”

“Aw, kiddo!”

“Logan looked like a librarian who would tell me to shut up--”

“How dare you.”

“And Virgil somehow managed to be more edgy than ever.” Roman talked loudly over Virgil’s hiss. “And now, it’s my turn.”

“Oh, are you finally doing your photoshoot?” Janus sighed in relief. “You’ve taken forever. I can’t go until you do.”

“I’ve taken my sweet time, as a sweet prince should.” Roman gestured dramatically at them. “However, I must admit that I’ve hit a--roadblock of sorts. Namely, I can’t decide on a skirt.”

“Oh!” Patton nodded. “I’m sure you could search up one on Ebay--”

“One, Padre,” Roman said, raising a finger, “no one uses Ebay anymore.” Virgil nodded in agreement. “Two, the problem does not lie in finding possible skirts. I have found plenty. I simply cannot decide on one.”

Everyone on the couch suddenly winced. “I know where this is going,” Virgil muttered. “Don’t say it.”

“So,” Roman said, bravely muscling on. “I’ve enlisted you to help me choose the perfect skirt.”

Virgil groaned and buried his head in his hands. “Come on, Princey. I trusted you.”

“That sounds like fun!” Patton said. He looked around for support. “Aren’t you guys excited?”

“Ecstatic,” Janus said, pulling his bowler hat over his face. “I’m going to sleep.”

“Hey, no!” Roman pouted. “I need your help on this! It won’t be so bad!”

“Much as I hate to admit it,” Logan said slowly, “this is hardly my area of expertise. Surely you can make the choice yourself?”

“No!” Roman threw up his hands. “No, I can’t! I’ve tried for days, and I’ve narrowed it down to a few dozen, but there are just too many! I don’t know what shade of red I’d like, or what accents, or whether it should be a skirt or a dress--I haven’t decided on frills, or trimming, or lace, or layers, or anything!”

“Just wing it!” Virgil shrugged. “I grabbed the first skirt that looked cool. I know it sounds weird coming from me, but dude, don’t overthink it.”

“How can I not overthink it?” Roman raised an arm into the air. “I am posing for an audience of thousands! I have the single spotlight! I don’t wish for blemishes to be burned into view!”

“I have skin cream, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Janus blinked at everyone’s surprised look. “Self-care includes skin care!”

“Figurative blemishes,” Roman corrected, and Logan huffed smugly. “I want to look perfect. I need to look perfect. Except I don’t know what skirt to pick!”

“I dunno, kiddo.” Patton looked hesitant to contradict him. “I hear what you’re saying, but maybe Virgil’s right? This isn’t such a big deal. Have fun with it! Pick whatever skirt makes you smile!”

“I’ll smile with whatever makes me look like a prince.” Roman sighed. “It’s hard to focus on that when everything else is happening. It is a big deal. I know it is.”

“You don’t have to post your picture right away,” Logan said. “If you’d like, you can take your time, or not post one at all.”

“Janus is waiting for me to finish!” Roman gestured almost violently at Janus. “And I can’t just quit, that’s worse!”

Logan raised a hand in surrender. “Fine. You simply seem...agitated about the prospect. I don’t wish for you to feel undue stress.”

“Easy for you to say,” Roman snapped. “You looked great.”

“I--” Logan blinked. “I did?”

“Yeah! All of you did!” Roman waved his arms. “And I--I have to be at least as good as you guys, or better, because princes are extremely photogenic! They have the best outfits! They look good, and so must I!”

Virgil frowned and gave Patton a look. Patton shifted back and forth on the edge of the couch. Janus fingered his gloves again, pulling the edges across his skin, like he was considering whether to take them off.

“You’ll look good no matter what.” Logan coughed. “You are...nearly identical to us, so if we do, so will you. Objectively.”

“Yeah, you’ll look fine.” Virgil gestured at him. “You always do.”

“I know,” Roman said, and there was a weight to his words. As if Virgil hadn’t actually reassured him.

Janus’ fingers tightened around his gloves.

“It’s okay.” Patton’s voice came out as a whisper. He was staring at his knees. “I--I know you want something good right now, Roman. I get that. Just--this doesn’t need to be your...redemption, or whatever you’re trying to make it. It’s just a skirt. It really just should be fun.”

Logan’s mouth formed a small o. Virgil nodded.

“Patton’s right,” Janus said, his voice clipped. He was avoiding Roman’s eyes. “In my honest opinion, all pictures look better when the subject is enjoying themselves. Haven’t you seen those dull Victorian pictures? If you’re happy--smiling, even--I don’t think anyone will care about the minutia of your outfit. I certainly wouldn’t.”

Roman was quiet.

“Yeah,” Virgil said. “What--what Janus said. We’re rooting for you, no matter what.”

“If this upsets you, I highly encourage you to take a pause.” Logan drummed his fingers on his tie. “Or...find a way to make the process more enjoyable.”

Roman shifted from foot to foot, pulling at his sash. "I--I tried. I wanted to.”

“You did?” Patton frowned. “When?”

“With...you guys.” Roman’s voice faltered. “I thought it would be--fun. If you helped. We could just--have fun. It was stupid.”

Logan’s eyebrows raised. Virgil sucked in a breath.

“That’s not stupid,” Janus said.

Roman sunk into himself, just a bit.

A clap of hands startled them all. Patton had sat up, looking determined. “So. What do we do? Do you have anything narrowed down?”

“Oh, I--” Roman stepped back. “You...you don’t have to, Padre. It’s okay.”

“We want to.” Virgil looked around. “Right?”

“Right,” Janus said. “It would be a shame to let you look like a complete fashion disaster.”

“I would be...amenable to helping.” Logan shot Roman a small smile. “It is not my area of expertise. However, I do know much about the process of creating fabric, and I--would appreciate the experience.”

“We want to do this for you, kiddo.” Patton looked up at Roman. “If it’s this much of a big deal for you, we’re gonna help.”

For a second, Roman’s eyes shone with tears. Then he blinked, and they shone with excitement. “You’re sure?”

Four thumbs up.

“Alright,” Roman said, beaming. “Let’s do this! Research time! Grab your stuff!”

Patton jumped up and ran to the kitchen, probably to make a batch of dress-up cookies. Logan pulled out his notebook and pen. Virgil started tapping at his phone. Roman stood and watched them, still smiling, smiling brighter than he had in days.

“That,” Janus said, pointing at him. “That’s what you do. Perfect.”

“What?” Roman laughed. “What do I do?”

“Smile like that for the picture.” Janus shrugged. “It’ll work spectacularly, in my humble opinion.”

“Oh.” Roman looked around and waved at Patton, who waved back. “I--I might not smile that wide. I’m not sure if--you know, it’s not exactly regal and princely. Besides, I’m not sure if I want--” He glanced at Virgil, who saluted him. “To be so...open. Not just yet.”

Janus watched him with an unreadable expression. Then he nodded, his lips lifting in a smile of his own. “That’s more than fine.”

“Really?” Roman asked.

“Of course.” Janus gestured at Logan, who was knee-deep in paper, and Patton and Virgil. “It will look great regardless. You have yourself a skilled design crew--with a talented fashionista at the reins, also known as myself.”

“Thanks,” Roman said. “For all the help. And for--yeah.”

Janus looked taken aback at the sincerity. His smile softened. “It really will look great, Roman. It’s you, after all.”

“It is,” Patton agreed, with a nod from Logan. “Any picture of our kiddo is a great one.”

“Amen.” Virgil smirked. “Pictures are crap. We know how cool you really look, no matter what you do.”

“Besides, we’re here to help.” Logan looked up and held out a pen. “Would you like to show us some of your ideas for the skirt? We could use those to find a good match.”

Roman paused. Then he took the pen.

“This is gonna be fun,” he said, "and it’s going to look so good.”

And it was. And it did.

And Roman loved the dress they chose, but he knew he wouldn’t remember the photo in the end. He’d remember the hours spent sprawled on the couch with his friends, sketching ribbons and lace, laughing and planning and eating Patton’s cookies. The photo came out great. The memories came out better.

The photo looked good. Roman looked good.

He felt good. That was more important. That was the part that made him smile afterwards, off-camera and off-stage, out of the spotlight.

Maybe the photo wasn’t the big deal, after all. Maybe Roman was.

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[crankywhenprovoked]

Everybody makes theories on what is happening in videos and not Thomas taking ideas and using them. There is a difference. And Virgil being softer is when Thomas isn't as anxious. People seem to forget that they are the same person so if Thomas isn't as anxious it means that Virgil isn't either. He is allowed to be edgy AND have good days. Logan is most likely NOT the orange side. This side probably has something to do with wrath/anger/rage and is only using Logan's anger to make him get upset. Logan was feeling Thomas' anger towards Nico for not answering. So many of us fans love this show so much. It helps us to be happy. Please stop hating on it and trying to drag it down. I'm not trying to hate. It just makes me and others feel so bad to see what we love trashed on. Some of our lives suck. Our biggest happiness being shot down only makes us feel bad. Just stop watching the videos or leave the fandom if it sucks that bad to you. There is no real reason to hate on it. Just let us have this.

As I’ve stated before, and multiple times as well. I’m not taking anything away from anybody. The discourse that I’m talking about, is on my own blog. Which means if you’re seeing it, it means that you’re following me. And if that’s the fact, I have left the fandom so there’s no reason to keep following me, if what I’m posting isn’t something you want to see.

I haven’t tagged a single thing that I’ve posted. There hasn’t been a single full name, so it wouldn’t end up in any tags, there hasn’t even been a single instance of his last name and the sides put together for it to end up in tags.

And a big thing you’re failing to see, is that once upon a time I was just as in love with all of this as many people still are. Thomas was a bright spot in a very dark time of my life, where there were days I would have rather not woken up, than have to deal with what I was waking up to. I loved the sides so much that I have a stylized Virgil storm cloud tattooed on my body. And I cannot thank Thomas enough for bringing me and someone together through the fandom, who is one of the best things to happen to my life in a long time.

But the fact is that Thomas is not the same person he was years ago. He’s throwing out the bare minimum of content and begging people to just keep blindly supporting him, and wants to have the freedom to keep thanking people for the support, instead of actually giving content to back those thank yous.

I know that when you find something that means a lot, it’s hard to think of anything negative being said about it, or that it might be true what’s being said. But I’m not doing this to be mean, I’m just making sure people see every side of the story.

[ch3m1cally1mbalanc3d]

Nightmare Room

Authors note: Inspired by @sleepyvirgilprompts this post

Warning(s): Nightmares, cursing/language, slight unsympathetic Patton, Logan, and Roman in flashbacks (before Virgil was accepted), some angst

Ship(s): Platonic/romantic prinxiety (you decide)

Authors note: The flashbacks (italics) take place right after Virgil moved in with the light sides, so no one knows his name and he goes by 'Anxiety.' Present time (normal text) takes place after he's been accepted and told them his name.

- 3/17/21

*Virgil/Anxiety's pov*

I hate my fucking room. Well, I actually love it up until I have to sleep, then I hate it. See the thing is, my room just happens to have this really amazing feature that causes horrible nightmares. Every. Single. Night. You can't escape it. I mean, you can just not sleep ever but that's pretty much impossible.

See, my room back with the dark sides didn't do this, but it did some other really bad things that I'm thankful I don't have to experience anymore. I would rather just have nightmares than all that other stuff. Ugh, it gives me shivers just thinking about it.

Now, after I first moved in I believed that my room had changed. Once I started getting nightmares every night I brushed it off as them just occurring because I'm Anxiety, but that changed when I fell asleep in the commons one night.

-Flashback-

I'd gotten woken up by Patton at around 7:30 am. "Hey kiddo, don't you think it would be better if you slept in your room?" He questioned, sitting beside me as I sat up and started to wake up.

"U-uh yeah I g-guess so," I stuttered out, rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment that I'd accidentally fallen asleep on the couch. "It was an accident, I swear I didn't mean to. I was on my phone and I must've fallen asleep, sorry. I'll go up to my room," I stood up, grabbing my phone from the floor where it must've fallen, and walked over to the stairs.

"It's alright kiddo!" Patton flashed a smile at me that wasn't completely honest, but I sent him a small one back in return so he didn't get angry or sad or anything. I can tell they all don't like it when I'm down there so of course, they wouldn't like me sleeping down there.

Once in my room, I realized that I hadn't had a nightmare, making me very confused. Every other night I had one so why didn't I last night? Then I connected the dots. Every time I fell asleep in my room I get a nightmare. I fell asleep on the couch last night and didn't have one, meaning, my room makes you have nightmares. Great.

-Present time-

Since I figured out about my room I've attempted to fall asleep in the commons multiple times. Sometimes I was successful about sleeping down there the whole night until someone woke me up and gave me shit about being down there.

-Yet another flashback around the same time period as the other-

One night I decided that I'd try to sleep in the common room. I'd carefully waited until I was sure that everyone else had gone to their rooms and fallen asleep. After I was sure of that I grabbed a blanket from my bed and quietly snuck downstairs, trying to make as little noise as possible. I laid down on the couch, snuggling up in the blanket, and fell asleep shortly thereafter.

—

I was rudely woken up by Roman standing over me and shaking me back and forth. I slapped his hands away and stretched.

"What?" I asked, morning delusion clear.

Roman scoffed, "What do you mean what? You were asleep on the couch when we came down this morning!" I looked at him, confusion clear on my face, not quite picking up on the memo that he didn't want me downstairs.

"So what?" I asked, wanting to know what his issue was. He scoffed yet again, putting his hand on his hip dramatically.

"You sleep in your room. That's why it's there. You don't sleep down here on the couch! Plus, I'm sure your room is way more comfortable than this couch," Roman motioned to the couch and he wasn't even trying to cover up the annoyance in his voice. If only he knew.

Logan looked up from his book where he was sat on one of the chairs and stated, "Roman's right. Your room would be a much more comfortable resting place than the couch. Sleeping in your room would also decrease the amount that you influence Thomas."

Ouch, that last part stung. My eyes widened slightly in the realization of what they were trying to tell me. 'Go away Anxiety, we don't want you around.'

I hesitated on telling them about my room but I knew it wouldn't do any good as they didn't care one bit. I switched my eyes between Roman, Logan, and then Patton who was in the kitchen, looking out and obviously hearing our conversation.

Sighing, I stretched once more before saying, "Sorry, I'll leave," I got up and grabbed my blanket, and made my way to the stairs. All three of them watched me in silence as I trudged up the stairs to my room, holding my head down and the blanket close to my chest the whole time.

-Present time-

*Roman's pov*

I walk downstairs and see the emo sat on the couch, scrolling through something on his phone. Looking around I see that no one else is down here.

"Good evening, Virgil," I say before walking into the kitchen. I hear a muffled reply and I see him flop down on his side, attention still attached to his phone. I get a snack and open it, starting to eat when I get an idea.

Walking back into the living room I state my suggestion, "Hey, V?" He looks up from his phone and shoots me a questioning eyebrow. "Do you wanna watch some Disney movies with me?"

Virgil thinks about it for a second, turning off his phone and sit up, placing his elbows on his knees and resting his head in his hands. "Only if we can watch Tim Burton movies too." I let out a sigh, although giving away that I don't actually care what movie we watch with my smile.

I walk towards Virgil until I'm standing exactly in front of him before pulling him off the couch, and he lets out a squeak in surprise. "W-what are you doing, Princey?" He asks as I drag him upstairs, practically carrying him. I don't answer but instead, open the door to his room and close it with my foot before walking over to where all of his movies are.

Virgil just stands there for a second before going to sit on his bed. "What do we start with?" I ask, turning to face him from where I'm crouched by his shelves holding his movies. He had propped up some pillows behind him, leaning back against them with one leg up and the other lying down. He just shrugs so I decide myself, "Corpse Bride it is then," I state as I grab the movie, put it in the blue-ray player, grab the remote, and lay down next to Virgil on his bed.

We get comfortable, pillows behind us and only one of his bedside lamps on. The movie plays through, and I have to admit, it's really cute watching him get all excited and happy. He's adorable. Virgil lets me pick the next movie, I can only assume because he gave me another shrug as an answer. I picked Brave and didn't hesitate to sing along to some of the songs dramatically, causing Virgil to giggle and I could tell he was trying to hide his blush with his hands.

Next thing I know we've watched four movies and it's inching towards midnight. I can tell that Virgil's getting sleepy by his eyes drooping, and I can't blame him, I'm quite tired myself. I didn't notice that he fell asleep until Cinderella was almost over. He had gone lax against his black comforter, and he just looks so cute when he's sleeping I couldn't help myself from staring with a small smile on my face.

The movie ends a few minutes later and I don't notice until I hear the end credits rolling. I walk back over to his movies and put Cinderella away, turning off his tv and returning his remote in the process. I hesitate as I walk towards the door, turning around to see Virgil still fast asleep on his bed. I sigh, out of tiredness or happiness I couldn't tell you, and I make my way over to his bed.

I delicately pick him up bridal style, pulling back his comforter and purple sheets, arranging the pillow so he's comfortable before lying him down and pulling the covers back over him. I walk over to the other side of his bed, reaching to turn off his bedside lamp before I get an idea. Surely he won't mind if I sleep with him for one night, right?

Snapping my fingers I change into gray sweatpants and a plain red shirt before carefully pulling back the covers and sliding in. I reach over and turn off the lamp, leaving the room in complete darkness. Damn, it sure is creepy in here. I guess it suits him as he is "dark and edgy."

I curl up next to him, slowly wrapping my arms around his waist, encasing him in a hug. I come to a stop when he starts to shift, but he only hugs me back, resting his head in the crook of my neck. I would be so embarrassed right now if the room wasn't pitch black because I'm sure my face is as red as the apple Snow White ate. Gradually, I drift off to sleep with Virgil in my arms.

--

I jolt awake, fear rushing through my body. Wait, I thought Virgil was the anxious trait? Oh right! I slept in his room last night. Turning in the bed as I hear shuffling only to find Virgil slowly waking up himself.

Maybe I should tell him. Or not, it might freak him out and I would never want to do that.

The strange thing is, I had horrible nightmares last night. And when I say horrible, I mean horrible. They were nothing like I'd ever experienced before. Yes, I've had my fair share of nightmares over the years but they've never been this bad! They were so disturbing and gory it makes me want to cry and puke at the same time just thinking about them.

Virgil turns his body so he's laying on his side facing me before slowly opening his eyes and mumbling out, "Morning, Princey."

"Good morning, princess. How did you sleep?" I asked, trying to see if our dilemmas were the same.

He yawned before answering, "Oh, same as usual." He rubbed his eyes, closing them again and snuggling into the blanket. Holy shit he's adorable!

I nodded my head, not knowing how to respond. I might as well ask him. What harm will it do? "Hey, V?" I ask, getting a hum in response. "Um, I uh had some pretty horrific nightmares last night and I have no clue as to why I did."

Virgil's eyes shot open, looking at me in fear. "Are you okay?" He asked, panicked.

I laughed, "Oh yes I'm quite alright just it was unusual that's all."

He sighed, "Yeah I'm really sorry about that." I shot him a confused look, quirking my eyebrow.

"Why would you be sorry? It isn't your fault, it happens to everyone." I assure him.

"No, Princey, you don't understand," Virgil looked me in the eyes before continuing, "It is my fault. My room does this all the time. You literally could not sleep in here without having nightmares. It's impossible, I've tried. Trust me on this, I've been sleeping in here for a few years."

My eyes widen in realization. Do you mean that all these years he's had to suffer? He's had to deal with nightmares every night and none of us knew? Oh my goodness, my poor baby. That's probably why he refuses to sleep or gets very little of it and why he's always tired! Or- holy shit.

This is why he was always trying to sleep downstairs in the commons. I already feel so guilty about being mean to him for the longest time but now I feel even worse knowing what he had to go through. And we drove him out! Virgil tried sleeping down there multiple times but we always told him not to and to go away and he did. He went back to his room to have nightmares. Oh my god, what have I done?

I look him in the eyes and apologize, "Virgil I'm so sorry! I had no idea and I kept driving you out for years! I always told you to leave and not sleep downstairs not knowing that you'd have to go to your room and suffer if you tried to sleep! I'm so sorry!" Virgil was making hard eye contact with me and I could tell he was searching my face for a lie or sarcasm. "I'm serious, Virge. I truly am sorry. You don't need to forgive me, I understand."

I reach my arms out to give him a hug. He hesitates for a second before giving in and I wrap my arms around him tight. He slides his arms around my chest and squeezes me. "It's alright Ro, you didn't know and you didn't really like me back then. Plus, I should've told you so it's my fault," He said, muffled by my chest.

I pull back from the hug, looking down at him as he looks up at me. "Oh no sweetie, you don't need to be sorry. This isn't your fault at all," I bring him back into the hug and he mumbles out an 'okay.'

We snuggle for a bit before I get an idea and suggest it. "Hey, do you want to talk to Logan about this? I'm sure he can find a way to fix it for you."

Virgil thinks for a minute before nodding, "Yeah, but only if you do it with me."

I let out a light laugh, "Of course, my emo." We snuggle for a while before getting breakfast and continuing on with our day.

--

Virgil and I talk to Logan and he fixes Virgil's room for him so there are no more nightmares. After both he and Patton find out they both apologize immensely for what they did in the past. Virgil forgives us all, Patton bringing us all into a group hug.

I make sure to drill into Virgil's brain that if he ever feels scared or doesn't want to sleep in his room, he's always welcome to sleep in mine. I also just offer my room to him at any other point in the day, making sure he feels loved and safe.

God, if only I knew.

(2463 words) I posted this on my wattpad too (@/virgilstarantula) on my Sanders Sides oneshot book but wanted to post it here so that @sleepyvirgilprompts could see it. I hope you like it! rawr xD

[shortprince-cos]

The Woes Of An Emo

Summary: Tune in this week for Virgil thinking this is all a coincidence! And some Logicality pining. As a treat.

Warnings: Swearing, not having much money(?). I think thats about it? Tell me if I need to add anything else!

{Masterlist} {Previous}

Thanks to @irritating-lady-knight for beta reading this for me!!!

Chapter 5: Maybe This Is Fine?

~~~~~

Princey's date was called off?! How?! Who on earth wouldn't like him?! Virgil was furious, who the f**k says that they don't like someone until after they accept the date?!

...wait.

Virgil was such a hypocrite.

onthevirgeofananxietyattack: what?! What happened?! Who do i need to murder

princeofyourdreams: no one, im fine. he was just too nervous to say anything

Virgil wished he didn't relate so much to mystery guy, then maybe he would want to punch him.

onthevirgeofananxietyattack: well, are u ok?

princeofyourdreams: of course i am! I can conquer any challenge! Dont worry about me!

onthevirgeofananxietyattack: are u sure?

princeofyourdreams: seriously, anxiety, im ok. One disinterested boy isnt going to ruin me.

onthevirgeofananxietyattack: ok, good. Hes obviously not good enough for you anyway

princeofyourdreams: shut up haha

Well, Princey seemed to be doing ok. And maybe Virgil was a tad more excited then he should be, but can you blame him? He's had a crush on Princey for a year, and he might actually have a chance now!

Well, as much of a chance you could have when you've never even seen each other.

Now all Virgil had to do was go on this not-a-date date and live. Yay.

---

"Ok, now if you run out of money, ask him to pay for you."

"Dad!" Virgil scolded. "I'm not going to leech off my friends!"

Remy just chuckled. "C'mon Virge, live a little! It's not everyday you actually step outside. With a couple of boys no less."

Virgil turned red. "It's a friend date, Dad." He grumbled.

Remy turned to where Virgil was in the passenger seat and tilted down his shades to look him in the eyes. "Sure it is."

Virgil grumbled something as Remy pulled the car in front of the mall. "Here's your stop, babe."

Virgil rolled his eyes as his mouth betrayed him by smiling. "Whatever, I'll see you later."

"Love you." Remy added while Virgil stepped out of the car.

"Love you too, Dad."

Virgil eventually made his way over to the food court, where everyone was meeting.

Virgil was also questioning why he suggested this hang-out anyway. It was going to be so awkward! How was he going to have a good time with the guy he rejected, a nerd who could probably kill him, and a "friend" he only started talking to two days ago?

Why did he do this?

"Viiiiiirrrrrrrgiiiiiiiiiilllllllll!!!!!" Patton was suddenly running towards where Virgil was standing in the food court.

"Uh- wait-" Virgil got trapped in a bear hug (how? Patton is so small!) as soon as Patton reached him.

"Patton, try not to kill the poor fellow." Roman chuckled as he walked up to the trap that Virgil was caught in.

Patton eventually let Virgil breathe as he let go. "Sorry! I just got excited! I don't normally go many places!" He exclaimed.

"Well, we'll have to take you to more places then, Patton." Logan smirked as he approached the small group.

Roman chuckled again as Patton blushed and silently thanked him. "Well then!" Roman announced. "Where shall we go first?"

"Hot To-"

"No, Pumpkin King, we're not going to Hot Topic." Roman immediately interrupted.

"Then why did I even come?" Virgil whined playfully.

"C'mon, Roman! Hot Topic does have some really good Disney stuff~" Patton pushed in a teasing tone.

Roman let out a long, exaggerated groan. "Fiiiiiinnnnnneeeee. We can go."

"Yes!"

"Yay!"

"Satisfactory."

"Wow. Y'all are a bunch of nerds." Said Roman.

"Says the guy who cried when they changed Mickey Mouse's art style." Logan shot back.

"ListEN IT LOOKS LIKE ABSOLUTE CRAP AND ISN'T TRUE TO THE ORIGINAL!"

"Roman, please, I don't want to spend twenty minutes talking about-"

Roman quickly pulled out his phone and displayed two Mickey Mouse pictures with different art styles. "Look, Logan. Look at how they massacred my boy."

---

And after that debate, they made their way to the dark and ridiculously edgy Hot Topic, unfortunately located next to the very bright and pink Justice store.

"I must go, my people need me." Virgil joked as he walked through the doorway.

"Of course this is where your people are, where else could you find the emos?" Roman rolled his eyes playfully.

"Oh, do you know people here, Virgil?" Logan asked innocently, clearly not understanding the joke.

"No- it's- it's a meme."

"Don't even try, Angstintator, no one could ever teach Logan the way of memes." Roman announced, slowly drifting towards the Disney section.

"Well, they are nonsensical. They make zero sense most of the time!" Logan defended.

Patton suddenly gasped like a little kid in a candy store. "Vi, Ro, Lo, look!!!!!!"

They all looked to where Patton was pointing, and saw it.

They holy grail of cute things. Something that could almost (almost) rival Patton himself.

A Pusheen plush that was holding a cookie. It was beautiful (to Patton at least).

Patton squealed and grabbed the closest person (which happened to be Logan) and held his hand while dragging him towards the plush in excitement.

Logan immediately flushed and trailed after Patton helplessly.

Roman chuckled at that and returned to looking at the Disney merchandise, while Virgil made his way over to the band t-shirts.

"Look!!! Look at it!!!! It's so cuuuutttteeee!!!!!!" Patton fawned. He checked the tag for the price and immediately frowned. "Shoot..." He mumbled under his breath.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked, then checked the price. $39.98. Not too expensive, but expensive enough to be a pain.

"Ah. Not bring enough money?" Patton slowly nodded at the question, looking...guilty? Or maybe disappointed? Logan didn't really know, only that it was making Patton upset.

Logan frowned at that. Someone as bright and kind as Patton shouldn't be unhappy! Patton deserved to be happy at least 100% of the time, Logan thought.

"Logan!!! Come here!!! Look at this!" Roman called from behind a shelf somewhere, knocking Logan out of his thoughts.

"Uh- excuse me for a second Patton." Patton nodded with a small (was it sad, too?) smile as Logan went to find Roman.

Roman was located behind a shelf filled with more Disney merchandise. "What, Roman? I was kind of busy." He asked, clearly annoyed.

"Yeah, busy failing at wooing him." Roman rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Seriously Logan, how could you be so dense?"

"Do you want me to provide a list of examples and events that you were being 'dense' at?"

Roman simply groaned. "C'mon Logan, think for a second! Patton doesn't have enough money for the plush that makes him smile. A smile which you love seeing. Therefore, what do you do with that fat wallet of yours?"

It suddenly clicked in Logan's head. "Oh. Oh! Do you think he'll be happy about it?"

"Of course he will! He'll adore you!" Roman pushed Logan out from behind the shelf. "Now go gettem!"

Meanwhile, Patton was talking with Virgil.

"Hey, Virge! Did you find anything?"

All Virgil had to do to answer the question was look at Patton with the pile of shirts in his arms.

"Uh. Yeah." Virgil replied, thinking of how embarrassing this was.

Patton giggled a bit. "Do you need help carrying that?"

"Please." Virgil sighed.

Patton took some of the shirts and other clothing items (were those fishnets?!) out of Virgil's hands.

"So, are you doing ok?" Patton asked.

"O-oh. Yeah, I'm ok. I'm just worried about...if Roman is. Like, what if he's mad at me? I bet thats what he and Logan are talking about right now-"

"Slow down, Virgil." Patton interrupted. "I'm sure they aren't, and I really doubt that Roman's mad at you. If he was mad, he seems like the type to show it."

"That's...probably right." Virgil mumbled.

"Just calm down a bit, and have some fun! You are having fun, aren't you?"

Virgil smiled lightly. "Yeah. I am."

Patton smiled too. "Then let's go have more fun!"

And with that, Patton grabbed Virgil's hand and dragged him to the next shelf, looking through more cute things.

~~~~~

{Next}

Dear all of the people who thought Virgil would figure it out this chapter,

HA! Y'all thought WRONG! Virgil and Roman share the same brain cell, but neither of them use it!

Taglist in reblog

Reblogs are appreciated!💖

[notaversetohedonism]

Daisy Chains and Daydreams

Pairings: Mostly Moxiety but with some Logince as well because I love them and couldn't resist

Content : Fluff, Probably a bit long winded but it's the first fic I've ever finished 😅, mentions of food as a potential CW, as well as mentions of anxiety/panic attacks as well as general feelings of mild anxiety

Word count : 1960, jus a little one shot :)

"I'm boredddddd" groaned Roman, leaning his head back so that it rested on Logan's lap. Logan flinched slightly at the gesture, but was able to keep his composure well enough not to let out the squeak playing on his lips.

"I suppose today has been rather slow" he replied, turning a page from his novel without looking up. Virgil and Patton walked into the room quietly, perhaps hoping that the other sides would not have noticed their absence. No such luck, unfortunately.

"Hmm, Winnie the Blue and Patty-Cake," Roman began with a smirk "Couldn't help but notice that the two of you were, should I say, mysteriously absent?" Virgil simply shot him a death glare, where Patton looked sheepishly down at the carpet, a blush forming upon his freckled cheeks. God. His freckles. Typically his face was clear and bright, but on the odd summer where the sun shone a little brighter, they appeared. Virgil, as should surely be apparent, was a fan. Before they had gotten together, he often lay awake at night staring up at the ceiling, imaging tracing every single one beneath his fingers.

Virgil collapsed in an undignified heap on the couch. He, as the most cynical side, was not a fan of weather in general, but he despised these summer months. How was he supposed to maintain his edgy persona without a hoodie to pull over his head when he had had enough with Logan and Roman's nonsensical bickering? The only thing that had convinced him that dying of heatstroke was not the way to go was Patton tentatively offering up one of his many identical blue shirts.

Patton sat down next to his boyfriend, sliding his fingers into Virgil's and tracing his thumb in gentle circles on the top of his hands. The one gesture that was sure to make Virgil melt. As if he wasn't already doing that in this ridiculous heat. He looked up at Patton, the softest of smiles on his face. In return, Patton gave his usual wide, brighter than the sun itself, grin.

"Hey everyone! I had an idea!" he suddenly burst out, as if the thought had just entered his mind and he had to get it out before it left again.

"Yeah Pat?" asked Virgil softly, a light blush emerging just barely visible underneath his foundation when he saw the identical smirks on Roman and Logan's faces. Patton of course, noticed this. He gave Virgil a look the two of them had come up with together, asking with his eyes if Virgil was ok with this or if he needed to stop. Reassured by the slightest nod of Virgil's head, he continued,

"Why don't we go for a picnic? It'll be fun, and with the breeze it'll be cooler out there than it is in here!" Patton giggled, practically clapping his hands in excitement. There it was again. The ache in his face. Virgil, despite his reservations, had absolutely no intention of giving one of his typical cynical remarks that would have no doubt have been rewarded should any of the other sides been the one to suggest the concept. Logan and Roman both at the same time had said

"Sure!" causing them to blush and turn away from one another. Patton had been badgering Virgil for weeks to let him help set them up, but Virgil had gently insisted that this was something for them to discover in their own time.

"Let's do it," Virgil said, his voice starting out very quiet but becoming a little louder as he continued "It could actually be fun" Patton all but squealed with joy as he jumped up to prepare the food. That was another thing Virgil's mind would often wander to.

They could all cook to some degree. But Logan followed the recipes so meticulously and to every minor detail that the food was often a little bland, Roman had a bad gague of how hot was too hot, and Virgil, naturally, was petrified by the idea of burning himself on the hot stove. When Patton stepped up to the stove, however, it was like a whole other world. One could taste the pure love worked into every bite. The sides would typically cook for themselves, but if one was having a particularly rough day, or if they got sick, then Patton's cooking was sure to make them feel better. Virgil often received it after a panic attack, and more often than not it was the thing that grounded him.

"Oi, Panic at the everywhere, go get ready!" Roman's voice cut through Virgil's thoughts. The nickname still bothered him somewhat, but he could tell Roman was making the effort to be a little nicer to him.

"Alright Princey, if you insist." he smirked, sinking out and back into his room. He wasn't the biggest fan of wearing shorts, but he knew wearing jeans probably wasn't his best idea. He pulled on some loosely fitting jean shorts and, of course, Patton's blue shirt stayed on. He sat for a second on his bed, no longer feeling the need to repress his smiles now that he was alone. Patton saw them; when Virgil was with his boyfriend he couldn't keep them in, but he still felt a little wary around Logan and Roman. They had accepted him, but as the anxious side he still had his reservations. As he sat, Patton suddenly appeared at his side.

"Virge, are you ready to go? We're leaving soon!"

"Gah, Pat! What have we said about appearing in here with no warning?" Virgil exclaimed, but with no real bite to his voice Patton knew he was only kidding.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! This is gonna be so much fun!" Patton giggled, pulling at Virgil's hands. Virgil would never in a million years admit it, but secretly he found Patton's somewhat childish nature the cutest possible thing.

Before they got to their picnic spot, they had a short walk to complete. Roman and Logan forged ahead, arguing about something Virgil didn't understand, nor did he really care about. He was with Patton, and he felt safe. Their hands were loosely intertwined, their pinky fingers locked but not so tightly that Virgil could not pull away should he feel the need. It had taken a little bit of time and a lot of clear communication, but Patton was now very good and understanding of the way his boyfriend felt about affection. He craved it deeply but it often overwhelmed him. But right now, Virgil was quite possibly the calmest he had ever been. The two didn't exchange many words as they walked side by side, only the occasional comment on the beautifully scenic park, or a stifled giggle between themselves as Roman or Logan would make some loud statement.

Finally, the close-knit group of friends found the place they were seeking. They stood in a little alcove discovered by Patton and Virgil on their first official date (by that point they had actually been on about seven, but Virgil was not exactly good at reading the room and thought Patton was just being friendly. Friends kissed on the forehead goodbye, didn't they?). Tall willow trees encircled them. The space was small, but not so small that it felt uncomfortable for their slightly larger than usual party. But what Patton and Virgil unanimously agreed was the best part was the daisies. They grew here wild and free, mostly white and pure but with some pink and some purple, exciting and joyful.

"Thank goodness! I understand that being fit and healthy is necessary for me to remain the most handsome Prince in all the land," Virgil barely stifled a snicker, "but seriously guys? Now I see why your dates always take such a long time!" Logan said nothing, but gratefully slumped onto the soft grassy ground. All those long hours and late nights working tirelessly on his computer did not leave optimal time for exercise.

"Ok everyone, food time! I know it was a little short notice but I hope you all like what I've prepared for us!" Patton said, grinning. Virgil looked inquisitively into the basket that Patton had carried with them for their whole journey. And just. Wow.

Sandwiches in the flavours each side liked best, as well as at least five different types of cookies, and best of all? A rather respectably sized vanilla cake. Their favourite. Roman clapped his hands, Logan raised his eyebrows with a pleasant surprise, and Virgil once again gave his tiny smile. Just a slightly lifted corner of his mouth, but still one Patton recognised well. His own mouth initially mirrored Virgil's, but his smile only grew from there into the one the sides knew so well.

"Alright everyone, dig in!" Of course, no convincing was needed here.

After having stuffed themselves silly, the group sat on the ground, quiet and content. Even Logan, who at this point during an outing would typically be badgering the sides to get back so that he could finish his next series of extraordinary projects, simply closed his eyes and looked up, barely concealing his satisfied smile. With his closed eyes, he did not notice the barely concealed glances of pure adoration given to him by Roman.

Virgil sat propped against a tall, sturdy willow tree, staring at Patton's back lovingly, quietly pondering what the taller side was doing: his back hunched slightly, humming a tune to himself. Within less than five minutes of wondering, he had his answer.

"Uh, Pat? What's this?" he stared in mild confusion at the interwoven daisies sitting in a loop against his pale wrist as Patton looked at him with soft eyes.

"It's a daisy chain! See, I wove them together like this!" As Virgil sat patiently listening as his boyfriend weaved together the pretty little flowers, a thought wandered to the front of his mind. "How on earth did I get so lucky?" Overcome by emotions and bravery, he dared to utter,

"Pat, is it ok if I kiss you?" As Patton gave him an unreadable look for just a few seconds, he wondered if he had crossed a line. But suddenly, he was rewarded with an enthusiastic

"Of course!" and a pair of lips on his own. As Patton eventually leaned back from the kiss to regain some of his air, he suddenly stared at Virgil intensely.

"Uh, y-yes, Pat, what is it?"

"Your eyeshadow, it's purple!" Patton conjured a mirror, shyly holding it up to a stunned Virgil's face.

"And it is. The credit for this one goes to you, Pat." Patton, clearly thrilled but wanting to make sure his boyfriend was comfortable, opted, instead of saying a word, to lay his head down in Virgil's lap, looking up at him with what could only be described as pure adoration. In that moment, it was just them. Roman and Logan's quiet chatter faded into a barely audible whisper, the bird song silenced. They were together, and they were in love. A realisation that would later strike Virgil, and he would spend many am hour wondering how best to say so to Patton, but for now, they sat happily.

But what was the most exciting thing about the beautiful day they all shared together was that by the end of it, as Patton layed his head on Virgil's legs, Virgil saw Roman and Logan's tentatively intertwined hands, the awkward but hopeful smiles on their lips. Virgil decided not to tell Patton right now. Because at this moment, with his hands gently running through his boyfriends soft hair, a daisy chain around his wrist, he felt calm. He felt happy. Maybe tomorrow things would change, but just this once, Virgil decided it was alright to focus on today.

[spacegaywritings]

“Burning old Bridges and making new ones” (Oneshot)

Teen and Up // Virgil x Logan // ALL sides appear (Janus and Remus only vaguely)

Summary: Logan is tired of the light sides, not being listened to. He cannot handle the utter irrationality his co-sides display when trying to manage some of Thomas’ deepest issues. In frustration, he slowly starts to turn away to them, and open the doors for others.

Tags: invalidation, not listening to one another, slight logan angst, hurt and comfort, analogical, Patton and Roman are too fantastic, thomas, sides au, dark side Virgil, illusions, (which is kind of gaslighty!!), alternating environments, mentions of blood, metaphors of blood etc, crying, tears, heart break, name reveal, ridiculing people, talking over one another, dark side Logan, converting???, calling the sides by their functions instead of names.

My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me

Note: If you miss any tags, have issues with links or any other concerns, please feel free to contact me. Anon is on and my DMs are open.♥

Links broken? Inform me, please!

Story under the Cut: (Word count: ~5k)

10:24 am.

 Logan sighed.

 They were in Thomas’ apartment, being the helpful sides they were. Thomas had sliced them into functions, so he could better argue with his different motivations in life. Currently, he was debating on yet another issue. He was wondering about whether or not to get that subscription to a gym. On one hand, it was practical, it might motivate him to do some exercising, to work out and talk to professionals about routines and which exercises would be best for him, his body and his goals.

Roman was all for it and so was Patton.

Yet, they left out Logan, as always.

 As soon as he had brought up finances, he had been called “party pooper” and “professor of unfun”. For a moment, the malicious words of “obstructing Thomas’ acting career” were aimed at him in one of Roman’s incredibly immature and uncontrolled fits.

Patton was simply up for it. He just took it, complimented the thought and said it was the best thing to do. The fact that Thomas had never held up these sorts of obligations was always shut out. The repeated intervention of Logan’s rational musings and his careful warnings of the consequences and alternatives had all been shut down.

 Roman and Patton ran into one another, hugging and cheering on one another. Apparently, things were settled. Logan did not know. He had stopped listening. If he walked out on them or simply ducked out, Thomas would get upset, the others would get suspicious. There would be yet another issue to resolve around feelings, Logan’s feelings. For some days, the other sides would act as though they cared.

 Until they would stop keeping up the exhaustive pretence to care even a little.

 Logan shrugged the matter off, trying not to get the “HE WILL BE HERCULES! ONLY LESS GREEK!” and similar yells and cheers get to him. The completely delusional Patton and Roman had turned on him and his valuable input once more.

He was seriously tired of it.

If they only listened enough to consider his arguments - it would make him one of the most satisfied sides in the entire Thomasphere. Instead, they banned him from discussions, completely excluding him. Thomas was not ready to realise it.

 The logical side disappeared up the stairs, reserved.

Feelings were all over the place. When he faded into the upstairs area, nobody questioned him, nobody held him back. They let him go, ignoring him.

Nobody paid attention.

Nobody even cared.

 Thomas tried to hug his sides. It was one of the last things Logan could sense when he pulled himself out of the affair. The sounds of betrayal and ignorance were too loud in his head. It hurt, it thumped, it was agonising.

It needed to stop.

 “ugh.”

 At the very least, Logan’s unwilling isolation has taught him more than enough things.

As he stepped into the mindscape, he reviewed his knowledge. One foot in front of the other, a slow pace. He was crossing over to the dark side.

 1. The dark and light sides were separated from one another.

2. There was no more separating them than the way Thomas imagined them to be

That meant:

A) The sides were marked by different colour schemes

And

B) The sides’ “rooms” were separated from one another in a way that “light” and “dark” sides had two different sides of one hallway.

 At the moment, Logan was crossing from one side to the other. Nobody was usually in the hallway. It was just him, crossing over again and again. From one side to the other.

 3. There is no need to sneak from one side to the other. Everyone is either in their own room, with Thomas or in the parts of the Imagination.

 He stepped closer to one of the doors, hand rising up to the door handle. However, his hand retreated just as quickly. Instead, he remembered something crucial.

 4. Every dark side had preferences to their doors and how to open them.

 Logan stood tall, straightening his posture. He reached out, this time with a curled fist. Three times short, three times long, three times short again. It was the knocking signal for S.O.S. . Logan thought it to be more than ironic for “Anxiety” to have such a kind of knocking sign as preference.

The door handle disappeared, then the door opened.

 5. About half of the space designated to the dark sides was imaginary.

 This was supposed to ensure nobody uninvited or unwanted would invade their space. It was rather clever, Logan had to admit.

 Anyway, rules aside, the door opened slowly, revealing a dimmed room. Some colourful lights seemed to stream from the glossy ceiling into the room. They danced over the floor, shifting and switching. It was a wild and uncoordinated dance but at the same time, it felt natural, following a pattern invisible to everyone’s eyes.

The floor was stone, dark and partly broken. Several parts revealed cracked areas. Through the cracks, a few flowers seemed to grow. They were lonely but strong. Every single one of them was purple, yet it were different tints of purple in every flower.

 For all that was worth, it looked like an abandoned temple. Raided, forgotten.

Some chains hung from the ceiling, around the glass part in the middle. The mosaics of translucent colour-filters was somewhat spheric. The chains were occasionally strewn around that, revealing little lanterns with warm, yet weak light. They were traditionally black, or at the very least, anthracite. From one corner of the room, a bit of smoke rose, striving through the room, twirling and twisting around itself in alluring manners. Incense was burning, giving the room an oddly peaceful feeling to it, no matter how destroyed and abandoned it seemed to be.

 Logan cleared his throat. His eyes were still looking for a certain side. Usually, there would be a more obvious sign of that person, but right now-

Ah, there.

 Virgil was hanging up some sort of tapestry, monochrome in colour. The design looked ominous, sort of mysterious. It was a moon, a castle around it. It seemed as if there was a whole other layer of meaning to it. Logan could not even imagine it. He was bad at seeing these kinds of things. But it did not even matter. Virgil was turning around to him and Logan nodded politely, not moving until Virgil gestured for him to come in.

 “Good day, Logan.”

 He slowly moved inside. The door manifested right behind him. When he turned around to see it, there was a lot of stone. It was a wall. There was no door, no more. Actually, when paying closer attention to it, it seemed to be a gate. There was a little metal ring, partly embedded in the same dark and cracked stone material, for knocking.

This had to be how Virgil got out.

 “Greetings, Anxiety.”

 They both stood there, for a moment. Anxiety looking almost bored. The logical side was unusually quiet. Everything around him was new, confusing. No matter how often he got here, it would always strike him as absolutely novel. It was just that different from where he lived, from where he used to hang out.

 “What you doing down here, again? Can’t get enough of me, yet?”

 He smirked smugly.

Whenever Anxiety would join in on their conversations, he would “ruin the mood”, aggravate Roman and make Patton stiff and uncomfortable. Anxiety was the one to make them listen, to settle conversations and feelings.

He was the kind of down-to-earth Logan needed and appreciated for their group. He, for once, was inclined to include Virgil in their group. Not that the group of the “light sides” was particularly great, but it was simply for the fact that Thomas needed Virgil to have more say, if he shut down his own logic that much.

Logan felt something tingle at the start of his spine. He shivered, trying to hide away the goosebumps.

 Anxiety was dressed in a simple black shirt, a red symbol all over it. It looked like a pentagram. He came closer.

 “So?”

 Logan swallowed, inhaling the sweet smell of fresh breezes and comfortable darkness. It smelled of earth and of cold snow. Anxiety had the most beautiful shade of brown in his eyes, out of all the other sides, they looked the most grounded and genuinely.. warm.

 “Perhaps I needed your input on something.”

 His words came out one by one, delicately, taking their time to unfold in Anxiety’s hearing. The edgy side rolled his eyes.

 “Lies aren’t welcome here, what do you need, Logic?”

 Ah, straight to the point.

It had Logan’s chest feel warm, tingly inside. It was as if he was tickled from the inside. He couldn’t help but smile. It was just a little, more like a shadow.

 “It happened again.”

 Anxiety’s shoulders fell a bit, tension replaced by a softer, more tender feeling. His eyes seemed to widen in empathy. He could feel Logan’s pain.

Not being heard, not being understood.

Being ignored and invalidated only, but at the same time made to feel as if it was not alright to face this truth, as if they cared more than they actually did.

 He sighed.

 “You can stay. Spill the beans, ‘the fuck happened?”

 The two started talking. Well, Logan was mostly talking. Words cascaded out of his mouth, feelings foaming around his lips in furry and frustration. There was so much piled up and the whole stack was simply tumbled over by someone jumping around from one to the other side of his room, in nothing but black yoga pants and a rather loose punk-styled shirt. His feet were bare, as bare as Logan’s feelings when he came inside.

Every now and then, Anxiety would roll his eyes, chip in with comments like “of course” and “ah, sure, thing.” They were sarcastic, but they did not arm at hurting Logan. No, it was meant to make fun of how hypocritical and unkind the other light sides were. No matter what Anxiety contributed, it felt holy to Logan.

 There was the harsh, brutal honesty in direct, raw lines. They were short, they were sharp and the dark side did not hold back even a little.

 Logan wandered with him, from one corner to the other. They hung up the tapestry together. Anxiety mumbled something about Tarot cards and heavy meaning. Logan let him have it, smiling at the new information and interesting input.

 His steam was off, he was calmer now.

The whole room seemed to be much friendlier, more peaceful, too. The flowers were at full blossom, the dim lights were shining in new vigour. Some of the cracks seemed to be fixed and the floor felt warmer, more inviting.

This was not an abandoned temple, it was a reclaimed sanctuary.

 “Do you want to come over?”

 Anxiety shook his head. However, he patted something like a table. There were blankets and pillows on top of it. Logan was not sure whether it had been there before. It looked like a bed, but the base was made of stone. He shrugged, taking it.

 “For now, until I can trust you fully, you can come here and that’s it.”

 Logan nodded.

He was okay with that.

His body lowered itself, automatically, already. It was as if his programming was made to listen to Anxiety, to be flexible with him and lay with him. The dark side roamed around, pulling on a chain. It set off a mechanic, unleashing some sounds. Calm music came out of the ceiling. Logan sat up a bit but Anxiety pushed him back down.

 “Take a moment”, he advised. Logan nodded. He laid back down, listening to the calming, almost tangible beats. They were so soft, it was surreal. If they had disappeared at once, Logan would not have noticed either way.

 Slowly, he drifted off to something Anxiety would later refer to him as “lo-fi” beats.

 ***

 This was one of their first meetings. By now, Logan could barely remember how he had met Anxiety in the first place. He only knew he had been angry, upset by Patton’s irritating cheerfulness and pure ignorance. Any thought of this experience already pumped adrenaline and disgust through his veins.

Despite his intellectualism and his expansive vocabulary, he was incapable of describing just how sick he was of Patton and Roman completely shutting him out. They were so out-of-touch with life that it could only lead to Thomas getting hurt.

 Logan sighed, pushed his thoughts aside. A tug called him into action, asking him to join yet another discussion. He could not believe it.

Still, he tried his best to be helpful, to be present. For the sake of Thomas, he tried to stay strong and persistent enough to make good points, objective points. Maybe he could at least get a word in.

 Within the blink of an eye, he was in the living room with more than familiar faces. Well, they all had the same faces - it felt as if this thought was but a comment Anxiety would utter out. It was true, but why say it? Anyway, the princely and fatherly side were there, already chatting up Thomas and asking him about his issues, asking him about what was wrong.

Those were words and sentences they threw at one another, yet never at Logan. Actually, looking around, Logan realised they were not in the living room as expected. (Not anymore). Thomas was walking over to the kitchen, taking his sides with him.

 “Okay, this is not too much of an issue but I feel unusually torn about it.”

 Patton nodded, an encouraging smile on his face.

 “We are always here to help you Thomas! Now, what’s the issue?”

 Thomas seemed a bit embarrassed, shuffling his feet, avoiding eye contact. He fidgeted with his hands. If Logan did not know better, he would assume this sort of behaviour reminded him a lot of Anxiety.

Wait-

 Before he could even finish thinking his thought, the ice crystals of Anxiety’s appearance could be felt. The time seemed to slow for a moment, then explode. Something in Logan seemed to wake up.

 “Now, now, now. What’s this again, Thomas? Do you really think, you should be doing this? I think we can all agree it’d be best to just pack up, go back to bed and leave things like that.”

 Thomas frowned.

 Hands moved, fingers curling around the handle of a katana. Roman extended his arms, skilled movements exercising a threat imposed on Virgil who literally yawned in Roman’s face as if he could not be bothered to even look at him for longer than a moment without being terribly bored and disinterested.

Roman gasped, pulling back.

 “You fiend!! Insulting Thomas and then me?! I am the prince! Keep in line, I am warning you!!”

 Patton rushed to his side, appealing smiles on his face. They looked like hearts. Logan’s frown seemed to settle deeper into his facial skin.

When he realised Anxiety was basically next to him, he had to swallow down a gasp. Why was it so warm all of a sudden? It had to be his body balancing out the cold Anxiety would usually bring along with him. He felt strangely comfortable. Again, Logan rationalised his emotions by thinking it was simply nice to know someone was at least somewhat on his side. Having someone to balance out the extreme of Patton’s and Roman’s idiot suggestions.

 “Wait a moment! How about we all take a deep breath and wait for a bit.”

 Patton’s movements seemed forced when he gestured for Roman to put his sword down. His smile at Anxiety was as fake as his “logical arguments”.

 Thomas looked around his sides, tentatively raising one tiny hand to greet the anxious trait. He dismissively shrugged Thomas off, looking at Roman and Patton with brooding eyes.

 “Look, this is the same issue all over again. Thomas does not know how to cook and is embarrassed about it. He threw all his money out for usual shit like rent and all - and his new gym subscription - and now he does not have enough money to go get some takeout. This is all a matter of poor management of money.”

 Patton gasped at the accusation.

 “No!”

He composed himself, trying to contain his sudden outburst.

“Thomas can deal with it. Like a good adult, he will just move past this.”

 Roman rose to the conversation, nodding.

 “Yes! He will learn how to cook cheap and easy things, so we can adjust our diet!”

 Patton squinted.

 “What? Why? Thomas does not have the time. Okay, listen to me guys, your old daddy-do knows what to do!”

 Logan groaned. Anxiety echoed the sound, seconding the emotion they shared.

 “Thomas will just drop his gym subscription, then he can keep up with his meal subscription and does not have to worry about cooking or anything. We don’t want to repeat the last mistake we had in the kitchen ~”

 Thomas grumbled, frustration boiling over in him. He pouted, crossing his arms in front of his chest as if to defend himself from the cruel, yet true words.

 “Fine.”

 Logan’s head snapped to the side. He needed to adjust, so he could look at Thomas. Previously he had been looking at Anxiety much longer than expected or than he had realised. But the speed at which he had craned his neck to the side would probably have injured him, if he was human at all.

There was a scowl all over his face. Thomas winced like a cartoon.

Logan tried very hard not to snap, or at the very least let out an extremely done sigh.

 “Thomas, you cannot be serious. You have barely listened to anyone’s opinion on this matter. Can you truly say you are actually making an informed or at least a thought-through decision at this moment? I suppose it would make more sense to listen to everyone, one by one, then wage the different arguments and options and try to find the most satisfying solution to your problem. You might be acting too fast and face preventable consequences if you go o-”

 Patton chimed in.

 “Logan, Thomas already made his decision. He can do it. He is an adult and doesn’t need to keep thinking and thinking about everything. It will make him sad.”

 Anxiety hissed out.

 “Not thinking can get us killed, you want Thomas to die?”

 Patton gasped.

 “I would never!!”

 Roman roared.

 “Fiend!!”

 Patton held Roman back, face slowly darkening.

 “I think it is best we leave Thomas alone, now. He is an adult, he made his decision”, then he turned to Thomas, beaming like he did not know anger and pain at all. It was a terrible act but an act nonetheless. The good-hearted man tried to nod it off.

“I am proud of you, Thomas! Let’s go and get yourself some food. Remember, you got a credit card! Now that you are an adult, you can do whatever!”

 Anxiety pushed forward, tempest tongue activated but Thomas already willed them away, feeling the anxiety coming on. The dark side found himself in Logan’s room, sitting on a comfortable bed, a fluffy unicorn onesie right under his butt. Before him, Logan appeared, expression unreadable.

 “That was rough.”

 Logan nodded, mutely. The sadness drained over him. Bit by bit, there was more emotion raining over his face. Anxiety could see the very moment Logan allowed to let the emotions flow into his heart, drown his professional appearance and attempted objectivity.

His chest ached and he got up, slowly catching the crumbling man in his arms.

 “It’s okay, Logan.”

 The logical trait shook his head. He could not even care about how the onesie was exposed, draped all over his bed. He did not care that the dark side was with him, in the realm of the light sides. His mind could not begin to wrap around the fact that someone else than a light side being there could potentially warp this side of the mindscape.

All he felt was the sadness ripping at his heart, squeezing his feelings and making him so sick, he wanted to vomit out blood until it was over. It felt exaggerated but also somewhat appropriate for the situation.

 He had stacked up every bit of feeling, every moment of ignorance and invalidation. The sharp comments, the audacious interruptions. He was sick of it. Everything was like a load of blades he had swallowed again and again. Now it was churning inside of him, ripping him up and destroying him from the inside out.

He coughed, the feelings wanting out and his lungs too exhausted to keep up with all his pain. The repressed emotions and denied doubts all came back to him, haunting him. They were multiplied in intensity, hitting him the hardest when he was at his lowest.

 Sobbing, he fell to his knees, Anxiety slowly tugging him to bed and comforting him. Time was no concept for him anymore. He measured the moments in tears and how much it hurt when his heart and lungs sobbed along with him.

Eventually, he could feel more than just his chest’s agony. There was warmth around him, distracting him from the destruction going on inside of him. Anxiety had put a soft blanket around his shoulders, patting him and applying soft pressure with his supporting arms, his uplifting hugs.

 As Logan was falling, tripped over by his “friends” - Patton and Roman -, the dark side, the half-stranger was catching him, holding him up and bringing him back to his feet.

Time went by and he did not count the hours or try to keep track of the light intensifying, then dimming down until night settled in. All he knew was that the dark side held him throughout everyone, stammering every now and then, trying to offer him some tissues and cups of water.

 “You have to hydrate, Lolo.”

 A nickname.

 He cried harder, dry-sobbing. When his emotions calmed a bit, he took the cup. His head nodded carefully and he swallowed the cooling water slowly. There was a purpose in his actions and the anxious trait carefully patted his head.

 “You’re doing good. Promise.”

 He hesitated for a moment but continued to talk after a small break. Logan barely noticed.

 “It will get better. I will assure you that.”

 Logan inhaled deeply. For a moment, he did not move. Then, he nodded.

 “Thank you-”

 “Uh”

 The dark side interjected. He shifted softly. Logan’s head was in his lap and took the shifting as a cue to move away. Awkward. He slowly rose, rubbing his cheek. It was flat and red from how long he had rested on his knees, his thighs and lap.

 “Oh, no. I , uh - fuck. Now, you are looking at me and it’s.. it’s weird again.”

 He blushed, shifting away a bit. Logan’s heart skipped a beat. Hope? Panic? The friend turned away, pulling his knees close and hugging them ever so softly. He sighed, trying to steady himself.

 “Are you having an attack?”

 He shook his head stubbornly at Logan, yet he did not dare look at him. The logical side sighed. His eyes fell on how Anxiety pressed his lips together, afraid of sounds coming out when he was so intense, the tempest tongue would come up again. He had disclosed to Logan, in a moment of trust, that he could control it to some extent but how it would just happen that his voice started distorting itself when he lost his sense of reality, started dissociating or was otherwise in deep distress.

 “I, uh - name. My name.”

 Logan nodded.

 6. For the dark sides, a name reveal was more than just a “big thing”. It was a tremendous vulnerability, hence revealing a name was the ultimate sign of trust.”

 “Virgil - It’s Virgil!”

 Logan’s mouth went dry.

He.. he actually had done it? He had actually told him his name?

 “Really?”

 Virgil nodded, weakly.

This time, it was Logan’s time to blush, reach out for the other and squeeze his hand.

 “I think it is beautiful. Thank you for trusting me so much.”

 He let the word rest on his tongue for a moment, treasuring it.

 “Virgil.”

 The dark side smiled.

 It was Logan’s turn to blush. The two were still holding hands, squeezing one another for comfort as their gazes locked and refused to budge. The black jacket around Virgil was too big, his usual outfit for when he popped up as a side. It looked like the similarly black blanket draped around Logan’s shoulders.

In a way, they were so similar, only in different places.

 -

 Little did they know the conversation happening outside their bubble. Voices overlapped, harsh sounds were exchanged.

“Shush! Can you feel this? Padre, there is something happening with the mindscape!”

Roman hissed, looking around. The walls around him seemed to change. He was not in the Imagination as he usually would but he was in the room with Patton. Patton was sitting on his bed. It was a bunk bed with fairy lights all over, colourful blankets and plushies stacking up like in a rivalry. He tilted his head.

 “What do you mean, Roman? Do you think there is anyone visiting us?”

 The prince tugged at his Katana, fidgeting with the calm yet threatening handle. As he approached the inner walls of the room, his steps seemed to slow down, quieten down. He held his ear against the wall. Slowly, his hands found the wall. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the structure of their realm.

The realm of the true light sides.

 7. Patton and Roman might be a part of the light sides but that did not mean they were the “light” kind of personalities.

 A shiny blade was drawn. Patton was in the dark, shadows casting over him, shielding the world from his appearance. He rose, slowly, heroically - only that he was a hero to himself and nobody else.

 “I think we need to pay someone a visit.”

 Patton giggled while Roman detached himself from the wall, blade gleaming and lusting for a few stabs and fights.

 “Very much so, Padre.”

 ***

 Yet another day, yet another rejection. This time, Patton’s flowery face gently shoved Logan back into his room, asking him to take time for himself and please be on the lookout because they needed him for Thomas.

It was odd.

He said that while separating him from a meeting with Thomas, trying to figure out yet another issue. Logan felt pushed and eventually just nodded, trying to get away from the sudden force in Patton’s behaviour.

 “Good choice! You are so clever, Logan! I wish we talked more!!”

 Logan bit down onto his lip. If he had applied just a bit more pressure, he would have drawn blood. The man was too much in control of himself, especially after letting his feelings out excessively, to break out like this again.

 As if you would even dignify with as much as your genuine attention, Morality.

 In his own mind, he had started empathising with the dark sides so much, he used their names, knew their names. The light sides had become some sort of forbidden topic for him. He did not pronounce their names, only their functions. He pushed them into the corner of his minds, banning them from his own mental conversations.

 He waited patiently. His back turned to open the door but he only pretended to do so. At the end, he only waited until Patton was out of sight, so he could rush over to the other side of the hallways, to his true and new home. He passed Roman, not even paying attention to it. The darkness sucked him up, shielding him, as he rushed into the new territory. Doors slowly disappeared before him, gates opened and then he was in Anxiety’s, no!, Virgil’s room.

 Before he knew it, calming arms caught him. The darkness engulfing him was gone. He swore he could have heard Roman’s voice calling out for him, someone calling him a traitor. But when he looked up, he did not see Virgil’s room. The colourful lights, the dancing shadows. All of the were gone. They were not in the sanctuary of the abandoned and the forgotten anymore, they were in a whole new place. At the same time, it was more than just a bit familiar.

He saw his own room, slightly altered. Behind him, a door appeared.

 “Logan-”

 Patton’s and Roman’s calls echoed through the mindscape.

 “You can do it Thomas! You just have to believe in yourself!”

 “Don’t I have to study?”

 Thomas. Oh, sweet sweet Thomas.

 “Aw, why would you, little man? You are really clever and your friends need your time more than your books need you. I mean, can you hear your books calling out for you?”

 “I guess you are right.”

 There was hesitation, so Roman jumped in. Besides being his ego, his passion, he was also his motivation and a bit of that was needed in genuine belief.

 “Damn RIGHT he is! Let’s be a true hero to ourselves, to our friends, and go to this gathering!! Prince Roman into the FIGHT!”

 Logan cringed. He could feel Thomas do the same, deep inside of him. Deep inside of him, buried away in the dark realm of his own thoughts.

 “It is just a barbecue.”

 Now Thomas was trying to use Logic? He could feel a tug. It was fainter than it used to be. Virgil was next to him, leaning against the solid walls.

“Feel the changes already?”

 Logan turned to him.

It was yet another moment in time when he had neither thoughts nor words to pronounce. It was not that he did not think anything about this, though. This time, unlike when he was crying and his mind went blank, he was full of thoughts and ideas. The only issue was that there were so many, he had trouble ordering them and listening to every single one of them.

 “I suppose I do.”

 He frowned.

Virgil shrugged, applying his eyeshadow as if to get ready for a party. So he actually did sit down to apply it. Wait, since when was there a mirror- oh yes, he had forgotten, this was his own room. In the dark sides’ area.

 “Am I a dark side now?”

 Virgil turned around. He actually did look like a raccoon.

 “Yeah, seems like it.”

 He shrugged, finishing off his dark accents. When he was done, he let his things vanish, simply disappear into thin air. He turned to Logan, grinning.

 “Well then, Logic, I suppose it’s time for a new time, a new place and a whole lot more fun~”

 He extended his hand.

 “Wanna get Thomas to listen to you a bit more?”

 His hands were warm. Logic could feel the warmth engulfing him, protecting him. Slowly, more presences seemed to whirl into the blend of energies and imaginations in his room. He nodded, captivated.

 “I think I can do with convincing people.”

 A sleek voice mused.

 Another voice popped up, scratchy and slightly used up. It was almost comically hoarse.

 “I think I can do with getting Thomas to listen to everything you want to show him!”

 The energies came in, shaping into appearances. Logic nodded again, a smile on his face.

 “Welcome to the team, Logic.”

[jackthebard]

An Incomplete List of Tropes that Make me Go Absolutely Feral: Part 2

- When there’s a shapeshifter/master of disguise on the loose and a person has to convince their friends that it’s actually them by insulting someone they hate or showcasing their stupidity.

- Characters that always sound really angry, but you only know that they’re angry when they get very quiet

- Conversely, characters that always seem really restrained, but you can tell that they’re going to pop a blood vessel at any moment from all that pent-up rage

- Anachronic story order. It takes a little while to figure out, but damn if that shit doesn’t slap. 

- Short characters that can, and will, kick your ass. Especially if nobody underestimates them except the people that are meeting them for the first time.

- The narrator that shows up in the story as a minor character, especially if they’re making it seem like they’re the main character of the story.

- Happy, upbeat music during fight/violent scenes. “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen playing while people beat a zombie bartender with pool cues? Beautiful.

- On that note, soundtracks that do not match the story they’re in, at all. David Bowie’s “Golden Years” playing at a medieval ball? Hell yes. “Escape” by Rupert Holmes while someone’s drifting through space? Sign me the fuck up.

- The entire concept of someone that is not the brightest bulb in the box proposing a solution that makes all of the brainiacs in the room go “... huh. That just might work.” Keep in mind that I’m talking about adults here, not children.

- Children proposing solutions that make the adults go “... huh. That just might work” is fucking great too, though.

- Characters that get in trouble so often that authority figures have to ask “What did they do this time?!” in an outraged voice. 

- Noodle incidents. You could write an entire character where their whole background was noodle incidents and I would be simultaneously in love/furious.

- That thing where one friend is holding another back from laying into some clown until the clown insults the most mediocre thing. At that point, the person holding their friend back just lets them go because there are some sins that cannot be forgiven.

- Animation sequences where something mundane is made to look insanely badass and actiony. Looking at you, Nichijou and Shokugeki no Souma. 

- Characters that really like spicy food because it hurts. Bonus points for them being a bubbly ball of sunshine instead of an edgy bastard that eats it just so they can feel pain.

- Using superpowers/special abilities for everyday uses. Like “whoops gotta drop this package off at the post office and they close in five minutes. Good thing I have super speed!” and other household chores.

- Characters that have the strength of a wet noodle, but know how to use that noodle strength in order to tie you into knots. I include magical and super powers in this as well.

- Oh man. Here comes a greaser. A total street tough, leather jacket and all, and he’s got a knife! Nope. It’s just a comb disguised as a switchblade so he can perfectly coif his pompadour again.

- The one fuck word per PG-13 movie. Better yet, when a character from a PG/PG-13 rated series gets to be in an R-rated movie and we get to hear them cuss like sailors. (cough Charles Xavier in Logan cough)

- When the normally smart and well-spoken character sees their love interest and just turns into an inarticulate or completely speechless mess. Like damn now I know you’re thirsty.

- Characters that you would expect to be posh or “proper” getting into an all-out brawl. Congresspeople, members of Parliament, academics, scientists, you name it. Bonus points if it’s a bunch of crochety old bastards and they even talk about how one of them has a new pacemaker like that should be able to put them ahead.

- Hostage situations/standoffs that end abruptly because the hero can’t be bothered with this bullshit. “I have the girl!” the bad guy says (bc it’s almost always a girl). Then *bang* good guy just walks past the bad guy’s body because that was a waste of time.

[sagesparrow394]

One Night of Normalcy

This is my @sanderssidesgiftxchange gift for @anyarally! I wish you a happy New Year, and I hope you enjoy the fic!

Ship(s): Analogical, background Moceit

Summary: It’s Christmas Eve, and Virgil is spending the evening around his boyfriend’s house, and meeting Logan’s parents for the first time. All he hopes for is one night of normalcy, and to stay out of yet another of his parents’ fights.

Warnings: This fic contains domestic abuse, both physical and verbal. There is a gay character who is heavily implied to have been forced into a straight relationship.

----------

Virgil took a deep breath, adjusting his flannel shirt in the mirror. Today was the day: Christmas Eve, and he was meeting his boyfriend’s parents.

Virgil knew there was no reason for him to be nervous. When planning for the day, Logan had frequently reassured Virgil that his parents were kind and warm-hearted people, and they truly were according to Remus and Roman. The two twins had worked with Logan on a science project once and, having gone around Logan’s to complete it, knew Logan’s dads well.

Virgil went to his dresser, checking his reflection in the mirror, before reaching for his make up. After putting on foundation, he reached for his black eyeshadow, only to pause. Would black make him seem too angsty and edgy? He didn’t want Logan’s dads to think he was some evil bad boy - what if they thought Logan could do better and convinced him to break up with him? Maybe he should go for his purple eyeshadow… But what if they thought the bright glitter was too much? Maybe he should just not wear anything. But his face looked so bare without it!

He groaned, holding his head in his hands, before reaching out. If he grabbed the black eyeshadow, he'd use black, if he grabbed the purple eyeshadow, he’d use purple, and if he missed both, he wouldn’t wear any.

He felt something in his hand and opened his eyes. Purple it was.

When he finished applying it, he pulled on his hoodie, before heading to the door of his room. He gently pressed his ear to the door.

Things were quiet. Goo-

SLAM!

Never mind. He stood corrected. He stayed listening, trying to work out where in the house his parents were going as he heard their voices yelling.

“I can’t believe you!”

“It was nothing-”

“Nothing?! NOTHING?! Thomas, I told you one thing, one rule! And you fucking broke it!”

“Nico and I are just friends, we ran into each other in the food court, we were just talking. I don’t see what’s-”

“Just friends?! That’s not what it looked like! And by talking, I know you mean flirting, you fucking slut!”

Virgil winced as he heard the sound of a sharp slap. Maybe he shouldn’t leave. It would be safer to keep his door shut and not risk passing his parents. He’d text Logan, telling him plans were called off and apologising. Then, he’d curl up in bed and hope his dad was okay, and that his mom wouldn’t come and take his wrath out on him instead.

And that’s when there was a vibration in his pocket from his phone.

Logan: Dad wants to know what your favourite cookies are - I’m assuming he’s planning on baking some. I’m warning you in advance, he is very excited about tonight

And then another message came through.

Logan: Though I must admit, I am too. 💙

Virgil couldn’t help but smile a little. Okay, he’d risk it. He’d have to be quiet, but he’d sneak out and would make sure he got to Logan’s right on time.

He responded to the message and then pocketed his phone, before slowly pushing his door open. He tiptoed down the hall and then down the stairs, making sure to avoid all of the squeaky floorboards and steps. Then he tiptoed towards the front door. As he went, he passed the kitchen and couldn’t help but peek through the doorway. His mom was still screaming as his dad, who was nursing a red bruise on his face. He held his breath, quietly tiptoeing past, and heading to the front door. He opened it as quietly as possible, stepping outside, before closing it equally silently. He paused for a moment, and then quickly hurried off.

-

Knock knock!

Logan looked up from his book at the noise, before hurriedly placing his bookmark in and putting the book on his bedside table. He got up from his bed, before running downstairs, where he caught his dad just about to open the door. “Dad, wait!”

Patton turned around. “What is it, kiddo?”

“I… It’s just… I don’t want you to come on too strongly. No offence, Dad, but you are… a lot. And I don’t want Virgil to feel overwhelmed straight away. So, maybe just head back to the kitchen for now, and I’ll bring Virgil in to meet you and Pa, okay?”

“Okay, okay, kiddo. But don’t leave me waiting too long,” Patton said as he began heading back to the kitchen. “You know how excited I’ve been to meet him!”

“I know, Dad.” Logan nodded. He turned back to the door when Patton was gone, opening it. “Hey, Verge.”

“Hi, Lo… I’m not too late, am I?”

Logan chuckled. “You’re early, actually.” He stood up on his tiptoes, pecking his lips to Virgil’s. “Come on, you can dump your stuff in my room, and then I’ll introduce you to my dads.” He took Virgil’s arm and gently pulled him along, heading upstairs.

When they stepped into Logan’s room, Virgil found it to be almost exactly how he’d imagined Logan’s room to be. There were glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling, arranged to form constellations. He had a bookshelf against one wall that was crammed with books - too many to fit properly on there. He had a desk, his laptop resting on it along with a bunch of papers strewn around and quite a few empty jam jars. A telescope was set up by his window. The sheets of his bed had a pattern of planets and stars.

Logan sat down on his bed. “You can put your bag down anywhere. By the way, if you want to wait a bit to meet my parents, I don’t mind. You can take as long as you need.”

Virgil smiled, dropping his backpack on the floor after getting something out. “Thanks. I think I wanna just spend some time with you for a bit.” He sat down beside Logan, wrapping his arms around the shorter boy before pulling him onto his lap. “Hey, Lo?”

“Yeah?”

“Merry Christmas.” Virgil handed a present he had gotten out of his bag to Logan.

Logan smiled, before reaching over to his bedside. He opened the top drawer and pulled out a wrapped gift as well. “Merry Christmas to you too.” He handed it to Virgil. “You go first.”

Virgil pulled open the wrapping, chuckling as he saw what was inside. “Oh my gosh, I love it…” It was a plush spider with cute little fangs, and purple patches that matched his hoodie all over it.

“I made it myself. Well, with some help from Roman and Remus as well,” Logan explained. “They’re much better at arts and crafts than I am. Though Remus did almost stab himself in the finger with the sewing machine…”

Virgil pecked a kiss to his cheek. “It’s perfect. Thanks, L. Now go on, open yours. I’m sorry if it isn’t as cool as what you got me…”

Logan rolled his eyes, tearing the paper. “Virgil, I’m sure, whatever it is, it’ll be perfect.” He pulled the last of the paper away, eyes lighting up as he held up a soft blue turtleneck sweater. “I love it! Thank you so much, Verge.” He pulled the sweater on. “How does it look?”

“Perfect.” Virgil hugged Logan close, smiling. “So soft… I love how you act so stoic and smart in front of everyone, but you turn into a cute little soft teddy bear when it’s just the two of us.”

Logan’s face burned a little. “Oh, hush…”

Virgil pressed a small kiss to his neck. “Love you.”

“... I love you too.”

They stayed there together, cuddled close. Virgil’s hand slipped under Logan’s sweater at one point, tracing the stretch marks on the other’s stomach, and Logan nuzzled gently into him in response. Unfortunately, however, the moment was ruined by Virgil’s phone blaring his ringtone - I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance. Virgil pulled his phone from his pocket.

“What is it?” Logan asked.

“My dad…” Virgil frowned at his phone. He didn’t want to get involved if his parents were still arguing… His mom might be even angrier if she’d found out he’d sneakily left. He declined the call. “It’s probably nothing.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “You just hung up? My dad would freak out if I declined a call from him. He’d get scared I’d been kidnapped or something.”

Virgil shrugged. “Eh, it’s fine. It’s probably nothing. Anyway, I don’t want our time together interrupted.”

Logan flushed. “Sap.”

“You love it…” Virgil grinned, pinching his boyfriend’s cheek lightly, causing Logan to gently shove his arm.

“Me being chubby does not entitle you to be able to do that kind of stuff.”

“Hm… I think you’ll find that’s exactly what it means.”

Before Logan could react, Virgil’s hands slipped back under his shirt, pinching his love handles. Logan let out a small squeal, erupting into giggles. “Virgil!! Stop!”

Virgil grinned. “Ticklish, huh?” He continued tickling Logan’s sides, the other quickly going red in the face as he collapsed back on his bed.

“Virgil! Stop!”

“But your giggle’s so cute… I rarely get to hear it. Let me have this? Please?”

Logan frowned. “‘M not cute…”

“Sure you’re not.” Virgil leaned over and pecked his lips. “Definitely not the cutest guy I’ve ever seen.”

Logan raised an eyebrow as his face burned even redder. “Is your goal for today just to fluster me as much as you can?”

Virgil shrugged. “Well, it wasn’t until you said that. Now, maybe it is.” He ran a hand through Logan’s hair.

“You have to be careful, Virge. If you make me look all flustered and unruly, my dads will get the wrong idea when we go down and meet them.”

“... Good point.”

Logan chuckled as Virgil leant back, and he sat up. “So, do you want to go down and see them now? My dad will probably combust if I have to keep him waiting much longer.”

“... Sure.” Virgil paused. “You won’t leave me alone with them at any point, right? Nothing against your dads, but I just-”

“It’s okay, I’ll be with you the whole time.”

“Good…”

Virgil stood up, before offering Logan his hands, pulling him to his feet. The two left the room, starting to head to the kitchen.

“By the way, you know how your dad asked what cookies are my favourite?”

“Yeah. He wouldn’t trust me when I told him chocolate chip, and insisted I ask you to be sure and show him your response.”

“Well, you might be happy he didn’t trust you.” Virgil smiled. “I lied and said my favourite was Crofters cookies, since I know you love them. Surprise.”

Logan smiled back. “You didn’t have to do that…”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

The two arrived at the kitchen. Logan took Virgil’s hand, squeezing it comfortingly as he led him inside.

And there Logan’s parents were. One of them was standing at the kitchen counter, humming to himself happily as he made the cookies. He had ginger hair, freckles across his face, and was wearing a light blue polo shirt, khakis, round glasses, and had a grey cardigan tied over his shoulders. Sitting at the table, Logan’s other father was drinking a cup of tea while reading a book about Immanuel Kant and his work in philosophy. He was wearing a yellow button-up t-shirt and black pants.

“Dad, Pa? This is Virgil. Virgil, meet my Dad, Patton, and my Pa, Janus.”

“Hi…” Virgil awkwardly waved. 

Janus gave him a gentle smile, nodding in welcome. “Hello, Virgil. I like the eyeshadow.”

Meanwhile, Patton eagerly turned to face Virgil. “Hey, kiddo! It’s so nice to finally meet you! Lo’s told us so much about you!”

“He has…?” Oh god, what kind of things has he said? What if Logan made him out to be really bad? What if he was about to be kicked out or, even worse, hurt-

No, Virgil, calm down. This is Logan, your boyfriend who loves you. He wouldn’t make you look bad. Not to mention, Patton looks excited to meet you, so it’s unlikely Logan has said anything that would make them hate you.

“Yep! He’s always talking about fun things you’ve done together, and things he loves about you. It’s so nice for him to have someone - he’s been a lot less closed off since you two started dating.”

“Dad…” Logan muttered, face burning red.

“Oh, it’s okay, you know I’m just teasing you. Anyway, you two came down just in time! The cookies are about to go in the oven and I was thinking, while they cook, we could play some board games. Just some nice family Christmas Eve fun!”

“Family?” Virgil could help but repeat that in disbelief.

“Yeah, kiddo. You’re part of the family now. So, any games you like in particular? We have Clue, Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, Sorry, The Chameleon, Spyfall… and quite a few others! We always get at least one new one each Christmas, so we’ve gathered quite the collection.”

“I’ll show Virgil the shelf of games and we’ll pick one out together.” Logan took Virgil’s hand, before leading him from the room. He led him into the living room and to a bookshelf in there. He opened cupboards at the bottom, revealing board games stacked upon the shelves inside. “Take your pick. Personally, my favourites are Clue and any trivia games.”

“I, um… I don’t really know board games too well.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “You don’t?”

Virgil shook his head. “My family aren’t exactly the, uh, sit and play and have family time kinda people… I only really know the games that the YouTubers I watch play. But I have a feeling your dads aren’t really the types to play Cards Against Humanity.”

Logan chuckled a little. “No, they are not. Well, maybe Pa would, but Dad, definitely not. But are there any games here you recognise from YouTube that you would like to play?”

“Um, I’ve seen people play Clue, the Chameleon and Spyfall, and they looked cool.”

Logan nodded, picking up the three games. As he did, Virgil rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, you really, like, see me as part of the family? I mean, your parents barely know me…”

“Of course.” Logan stood up straight, the games in his arms. He paused. “It doesn’t make you uncomfortable, does it?”

“No! No, the opposite actually… It’s nice.”

Logan smiled. He gently pressed a kiss to Virgil’s cheek. “Let’s head back to the kitchen. Then we can set up the games, and I can wipe the floor with you all and win them all.”

Virgil smirked. “Oh, I’m not so sure about that, L. I’ve watched enough videos to know the strategies. You’re going down!”

“We’ll see about that.” Logan grinned, heading back to the kitchen. Virgil was about to follow when his phone rang yet again. He pulled it from his pocket, frowning at his mom’s name. “Sorry, Mom, I’m having a fun night. I’m not getting into a fight with you.” He declined the call, before putting his phone on silent. Then, he headed to the kitchen.

-

Playing board games with Logan, Janus and Patton was so much fun! Virgil had honestly never felt so comfortable around a group of people.

They played the Chameleon first. Janus had little to no competition, winning every single time he was the Chameleon, no one suspecting him at all.

“How are you so good at this?” Virgil had asked.

“I’m a lawyer,” was Janus’ only response.

Then it was Clue. Logan had been the winner of this one. He had gone full Sherlock mode, using deductive reasoning to slowly whittle down the options until he had the murder, the weapon and the place. All three games of Clue they played, he had won.

“You’re so good at this,” Virgil had sighed, staring at him admiringly.

“Elementary, my dear Watson,” Logan had replied, before pecking a kiss to his cheek.

Then, finally, they played Spyfall. Somehow, he didn’t know how, Virgil was the winner of this game. He expected to be a terrible spy due to his very clear nervous fidgeting. However, he was able to blend in pretty well - mostly due to the fact he was equally fidgety when he wasn’t the spy, fearing that his answers weren’t as convincing as they should be. Therefore, no one could tell the difference in his body language between games.

The whole evening had just been so fun. Virgil didn’t want it to end. He got to spend time with the adorable and smart love of his life, and experience what it was like to have parents who actually loved each other through Janus and Patton. The two of them had such a pure, loving relationship with the quick hugs and kisses they shared as they passed each other.

As they’d been playing, the cookies were baked and then left to cool. Once the games were done, Patton placed the cookies on a plate and put them on the table.

“Dig in, kiddos!”

Logan didn’t hesitate to take one, and Virgil did the same just after. He took a bite and his eyes widened. “Whoa, these are really good.”

“Aw, thanks, kiddo! My very own recipe. Logan asked me to try making cookies with Crofters, and he was my taste tester as I tried different recipes.”

Virgil chuckled. “I’m not surprised with his sweet tooth.” He smiled down at Logan, who flushed a little.

And then Virgil felt his phone vibrate in his pocket yet again. It had done so a couple of times while they were playing, but now Virgil was getting sick of it. Why were his parents so desperate to drag him, their teenage son, into their bullshit?! What was he supposed to do about it?!

He pulled his phone from his pocket, going to turn it off. Only to pause. It wasn’t his dad’s number, or his mom’s. It was an unknown number. Usually, he declined unknown numbers. Talking to people he knew on the phone was scary enough. Strangers? No way in hell. But… something about this felt different. Weird.

He gave Logan, Patton and Janus a look that said “excuse me for a moment”, before standing up. He pressed a quick kiss to Logan’s head, before heading out to the hallway.

Once he was gone, Logan turned to his parents. “So… what do you think?”

“Oh, kiddo, I’m so happy for you!” Patton smiled. “He’s such a sweet boy.”

Janus nodded. “And anyway, it doesn’t matter what us two think of him. The two of you seem very happy, and you clearly love each other very much. And that’s all that matters.”

Logan smiled. He got to his feet, walking around the table, before hugging both Patton and Janus close. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank us, Lo.” Janus reassured as the two fathers hugged their son in return.

As they were hugging, Virgil came back in. He was as pale as a sheet.

“Verge?” Logan pulled away from his fathers, frowning. He went up to his boyfriend, who was trembling in the doorway. “Are you alright?”

Virgil swallowed the lump in his throat, looking between the three faces staring at him, concerned. 

“My dad’s in the hospital and my mom’s been arrested.”

[lovelivingmydreams]

A story by heroes and villains

Janus Anker: identity

To be a teenager is to learn more about yourself. But does it have to be all at once?

Please leave a comment on this one? I usually don't ask but I would really like feedback on this one.

Masterpost

Summer before freshmen year, Janus was a wreck.

He always kind of hated the way he looked. But lately there were days where he didn’t even like to look at the normal half of his body. When nothing in his closet felt comfortable. The first day of summer, he went over to the neighbor’s house to hang out with Virgil. He was having a bad day and needed his friend. “Janus. Good to see you my boy,” Virgil’s dad greeted as he opened the door. Janus forced a smile. “Hi uncle Lo. Is Virgil up yet?” he asked. “He’s in his room. You know the way,” uncle Logan told him kindly. Janus nodded and rushed up the stairs. He opened the door to Virgil’s bedroom and froze. Virgil was standing in front of his mirror a pen in his hand and his hoodie and t-shirt on the bed. He looked up and smiled at him. Why was his hair purple? And since when did he do his eyeshadow so immaculate? Did he paint his nails purple too? Was that lipstick? And why was there an intricate pattern running up his arm, over his shoulder and fading out at his chest? “What do you think? Looks pretty sick right?” he asked as he showed off his work. Janus wasn’t sure which part of Virgil’s drastically changed appearance he meant. But it looked very… very… God he could not be having a gay panic right now. Not with Virgil. He’d never had a crush before! He never cared for any of the girls in class. Not in the way Virgil sometimes expressed interest in them. Like Anna from their class. Virgil had had a small crush on her at the start of last year. Out of curiosity Janus had asked what it was like. To see if maybe he was crushing on someone without realizing it. Sadly Virgil’s explanation hadn’t brought an epiphany. Which made this even more confusing. If he was simply gay and crushing on Virgil this whole time, then he should have realized it then right? He’d known him all his life! He didn’t feel like this last week though. He forced himself to drop that train of thought. He wasn’t here for any of this. “Yeah. Looks good. Though I doubt uncle Lo will let you actually get a tattoo. Ever,” he said, trying to play it cool. Virgil chuckled and nodded as he tossed the pen on his desk and put on his shirt and hoodie. The latter was new. Black with purple patches. It looked hand made. In a good way. Janus couldn’t focus on it though. He was still reeling from the unexpected rush of feelings that had just been dumped on him.

Maybe it was just because Virgil had looked so different? Some sort of shock? That must be it. Right? Anyway it was mostly over now and he was back to feeling wrong in his own skin. “I know, but I wanted to try it out anyway. I’ll wash it off later. After I take a picture.” Virgil then studied Janus’ face. “One of those days?” he guessed. Janus nodded. He’d never been able to express to Virgil how it felt exactly. But his friend managed to make him feel better anyway. He’d help him relax by messing around with his hair or helping him pick something nice to wear. Or some general self-care stuff. “I’ve got just the thing. Sit down I’ll be right back.” Janus proceeded to throw himself face first on Virgil’s bed, doing his best not to think back to the fake tattoo he had drawn. Or not the part where it made him feel things anyway. Virgil was good at art. Good enough to make others envious, or make people try and get something from him. Janus felt his stomach twist in knots at the mere thought of it. Virgil was too kind to deny anyone if they’d ask. It would be very hard to keep him safe in high school though, when they weren’t guaranteed to be together for every class. Janus had been thinking a lot about ways he could protect them from bullies and fake friends. The best he could come up with was seem scarier and stick together. The coward was going to scare off the bullies. Janus was very aware of how ridiculous that sounded. He was going to try though. And then there was still the matter of Roman Castile. That pompous brat never stopped trying to get Virgil to trust him and steal him away. Janus still couldn’t figure out why he went through so much effort. Was it because he didn’t get told ‘no’ often? Was Virgil a challenge? Roman couldn’t possibly really know or appreciate the kind of person Virgil was. So what was the plan? “Get up. I can’t work my magic if you hide away like that,” Virgil instructed as he entered the room once again dropping something on the bed. Janus sighed and sat up. “Give me your hand. We’re doing make overs,” Virgil instructed as he got on the bed with him. Janus was about to protest, but Virgil had that look. There was no arguing. “Fine,” he sighed. Virgil took his hand and started doing his nails with a golden polish. “I bought this one for detailing,” he explained. Janus looked at Virgil’s hand and saw there were little stars in the purple polish. He couldn’t help a smile. It looked pretty. Virgil had started using make up the last few months. Just some dark smudges under his eyes and black polish on his nails to look extra edgy. Maybe the new look held the same intention? A high school upgrade? With a little detail to hint at a softer nature for those who looked close. “You’re in the mood for makeovers today,” he observed. Virgil chuckled. “I suppose,” he nodded as he blew over Janus’ nails, finishing of his right hand. “Next,” he instructed. Janus gave him his left hand, holding his right up so nothing could mess up the still wet paint. “What’s with all the shades of purple anyway?” he asked. “Just felt right,” Virgil muttered casually as he finished off Janus’ other hand. “There,” he stated satisfied as he let go. Janus shook both hands for a bit trying to get them dry. “We’ll find the look that feels right for you too. Just you wait,” Virgil assured him as he dug through the bag Janus had heard him put down earlier. “What are you planning?” he asked. “Relax, I’m not going to make you go home with a face full of make-up. We’re just trying something different okay?” Virgil assured him. Janus let out a sigh and nodded. He trusted him. “I wouldn’t go for a dark lipstick for you. It looks cool but it’s… Not something even I would want for an everyday look. And the goal is making you feel good not shock you,” he joked. Janus’ eyes fell to Virgil’s lips as he mentioned lipstick. The dark color made every movement stand out even more. They looked very kissable. And that brought Janus mind to a screeching halt. The image of kissing his best friend made him feel all sorts of ways. But not quite the way Virgil once described. He felt nervous and excited, and flustered. But not… Not love. He didn’t think of sweet nothings and dates and holding hands. Or he did, because part of him wanted to run those down to figure out if this was a crush. But none of that fit how he felt about Virgil. The thought of it was just weird to him. Virgil was movie nights and stupid jokes and teasing. But also kissing. Apparently. Suddenly he was yanked out of his thoughts by Virgil carefully taking hold of his face. For a second he thought Virgil’s mind had gone to the same place his had. But when his eyes shot up to V’s they were just amused. “Relax. And stop biting your lip. I haven’t even done anything and you’re already trying to ruin my masterpiece.” “Sorry,” Janus muttered. Relieved that Virgil had no clue what just happened. What was wrong with him? “It’s fine,” Virgil assured him as he started applying whatever color he’d decided on to Janus’ lips. It did not help with his crisis. And it was just a stellar crisis to have when the object of your attraction was literally holding your face and had his lips a breath away from yours. “There. Now, I’m going to need you to trust me for a sec here,” Virgil warned ominously. Clearly having fun. Janus couldn’t help a chuckle. Now that Virgil wasn’t so close anymore the attraction subsided to a not all consuming level and he could kind of enjoy the fact that Virgil was trying to make him feel like a movie star or whatever he was going for here. “Do I have a choice in the matter?” he asked dryly. Virgil chuckled. Janus thought back to how Virgil had said that Anna’s laugh made his heart skip, back when he liked her. But while the sound made Janus feel comfortable and happy, his heart did nothing special. He was just happy and relaxed because the sound was familiar and safe. “You have a point,” Virgil agreed. “Close your eyes for me.” Janus did as he was told. Virgil’s hand was on his face once more and he could feel his breath drift over him. The fact that he couldn’t see a thing as a brush drifted over his eyelids only intensified the new feelings. “Did you know the principle of our high school is childhood friends with uncle Thomas?” ‘Uncle’ Thomas was an old school friend of Uncle Logan. Janus had met him a few times over the years. He was a nice guy. If a bit high energy. “Really?” he asked a little surprised. “Yeah. Joan Stokes. They use they/them pronouns. According to uncle Thomas.” Janus couldn’t help the confused frown. “What do you mean?” he asked. “They’re non binary. They don’t identify as a man or a woman. Like they were born in a male body, but their gender is not male or female.” “People can do that?” Janus asked. “Just decide they aren’t what they are?” “That’s not it. Uncle Thomas says that Mx. Stokes… Mx. Is the neutral version of Mr. or Mrs. by the way… Anyway he said that they are their authentic selves. They were always non binary. They just didn’t know it until they were in their teens or something. I looked it up. There are people who are born in a male body but discover they are female later in life. Like. It’s proven that their brains even work more like that of a female. And the other way around can happen too. So why wouldn’t there be people who are in between?” Janus tried to wrap his head around it. Being a man but not being a man… or a woman. “So is… are they…? Did I say that right?” It felt kind of weird. He’d never heard of this until now. “That was exactly right.” Janus could swear he heard some pride in Virgil’s voice. “Okay, so are they both or neither?” he asked. Virgil’s hand stilled. “You know… I didn’t ask. Hm… I suppose… Maybe it depends on your perspective?” he mused as he continued working. “Look up for a bit please,” Virgil muttered. Janus opened his eyes and felt Virgil start applying some eye liner. “I don’t have mascara, so I’m almost done,” he told him. Janus felt relieved. He was enjoying this, truly. And he was curious to find out how he looked. But he also needed some distance between himself and Virgil. And maybe some time to try to look up what all of these feelings were about. Because he wanted to know what this thing was that threatened his friendship with Virgil. Was this a crush? If it was, then why didn’t he feel any of the stuff he was supposed to feel. Except for a very dumb and dangerous wish to kiss his best friend. “And done! Turn around I’m going to fix your hair a bit.” Janus sighed and turned to face the window. He’d let his hair grow the past few years. It came past his shoulders now and he liked the way it looked. He usually wore it up to the side. But Virgil liked to play around with it sometimes. And Janus secretly liked it when he did. “Okay so I’m not going too wild here. I’m keeping it simple,” Virgil assured him as he started brushing Janus’ hair. Janus hummed in acknowledgement, already lost in the feeling of the brush. This was relaxing. And over much too soon. “Done!” Virgil announced as he hopped off the bed. Suddenly Janus was dragged in front of the mirror. “Well, you look hot, if I do say so myself.” Janus was so shocked that he barely registered the complement. He looked… The person in the mirror was… That was him… If he forgot about his clothes for a minute and just looked at his face. The feeling of wrongness was gone. In it’s place was a strange sort of euphoria. “Is this a good speechless or a bad speechless?” Virgil wondered. Janus was pulled away from marveling at how Virgil had managed to go for a natural look in spite of his birthmarks making it harder to pick a color that looked good on both sides. He wanted to hug him. Thank him for making him look beautiful. He'd never appreciated the shape of his eyes until Virgil made them stand out. His lips looked elegant and full. And now it was down, Jan's hair framed his face so nicely. Virgil was amazing. But when he looked at him, the euphoria subsided. Slowly replaced by dread. He looked like a girl. He realized. If he switched out his clothes a little, he could easily be mistaken for a girl… and he liked looking like this. This was too much. Did Virgil know that this would happen? Was that the point of bringing up pronouns? Was this a test? He couldn’t let him know. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t even know what there was to know. He needed time. “You are getting way to good at this. I almost didn't realize it was me,” he said while he was trying to find an excuse to get the make-up of and go home. Virgil smiled. “I'll take that as a complement. It looks good on you. Thanks for letting me try it out,” he offered as he went back to his bag. “I’ve got some sponges to clean up. Dad wouldn't care, but I get it if you don't feel like explaining that we're just messing around.” Janus relaxed a little at that. Virgil didn’t know. Good. He accepted the sponge and with a heavy heart went to the bathroom to clean up. He left his hair down though, finding a little comfort in that. He also left his nails as they were. When he got back Virgil was sitting cross legged on the bed sketching. He looked up and smiled. Janus smiled back and let himself drop in his usual spot. He probably should go. But if he hurried home now, it would be even more suspicious. And as long as they didn’t get too close again, he could ignore at least half of his crisis. “Hey, I’m probably not going to use the lipstick or most of the eyeshadow anymore. You think your mom can use it?” Virgil wondered absentmindedly after a few minutes of comfortable silence. Janus shrugged. “I'll ask her. You sure? Isn't make-up very expensive?” “It’s all either sale or stuff Uncle Thomas gave to me. One of his friends is a make-up artist who gets stuff like that all the time for free. and I wanted to experiment,” Virgil explained casually. “But like I said I’m not a lipstick kind of emo and other than black, purple and maybe blue I don't think I’ll use any of the eyeshadow.” Janus nodded. “Sure.” He didn’t mention that he might make his own selection first. To test out if it was just novelty that made him feel good, or if he was really… a she. Virgil put the sketchbook aside and got out of bed digging through the bag. He put a bunch of stuff on his desk before coming back and handing the bag over. “I’ll need the bag back though. Have her select what she likes and do with the rest whatever you want.” Janus nodded as he accepted the bag. They listened to music for a while, Virgil sketching absentmindedly. “Is being with a man who’s actually a woman gay?” Janus wondered out loud all of a sudden. Virgil looked up. “Does it matter?” he asked. “I mean… A little?” Janus didn’t know how to explain where the question came from. He knew. But he couldn’t say without giving himself away… herself? No. He was not ready to try out the pronoun. Not even in his mind. “Well… I don’t know… Do you mean someone who’s born male but identifies as female?” Janus nodded. “And we’re talking about us as guys right?” Janus nodded again. “Then. If they identify as female, it’s not gay I suppose. They’re a woman. At least that’s what I got from what I looked up. I didn’t do a whole indebt study.” Janus hummed absentmindedly. “I don’t know if I could make out with someone who’s like that,” he admitted. He didn’t mean to sound insensitive. He might be ‘someone like that’ himself. It just felt all so complicated and confusing right now. He didn’t know what to think. He wouldn’t know for sure until he was put in that position. He thought back to the past few years and his failed attempts at trying to feel interested in girls the way Virgil was. He thought he was just picky. That he needed to be really into someone to even consider putting his mouth on theirs. And the argument could be made that this was true for Virgil too. But he only liked him as a friend. Not as someone he wanted to start a family with. Though he could imagine them jokingly making a pact to settle with each other if they were still single when they turned 30 or something like that. Could people just want to kiss someone without being in love? They did that right? One night stands and all that stuff happened all the time. If they could not be a guy or a girl, or be the opposite of what they were born as. Or seemed to be born as at first glance. His head was spinning. He had too much to think about. “Well, I don’t think I’d care. If I like them, and they’re cute. Then I’d be down I think…” Once again Janus hummed vaguely. It was a bit of a relief. One less thing to worry about for him. They sat in silence after that, listening to music. Virgil sketching, Janus trying to compile a plan. When Virgil was called in for lunch Janus left for his house. He had made a decision. He had lunch with his dad, his mom was at work and his dad had to go present a project. Which meant that by some miracle, Janus would have the house to himself. A rare occurrence. Normally he’d invite Virgil over. But this time, he needed some time for himself. He took the make-up bag up and then dug through his mother’s closet. He took out a skirt and a shirt that sat loose so he wouldn’t ruin them. He wasn’t going to take risks with her shoes. He’d have to make due. Once in his room he searched the bag for the right colors. They’d been shades of yellow and brown, he recalled. He saw that Virgil had kept the eyeliner, which made sense. Virgil wore it almost daily. It was fine. This was just an experiment anyway. He wasn’t as good as Virgil. He figured out that he had used slightly different shades, or blended or something on either eye to make up for the different skin tones. He didn’t get it exactly right but close enough. He’d borrowed his mother’s mascara and prayed he was putting it on right. He put on a shade of lipstick that looked close enough to the one Virgil used, wishing he’d paid more attention to what he said rather than panic about how much he wanted to kiss him in that moment. In any case he was done with his make-up. It wasn’t until he was about to put on his mother’s shirt that he realized he probably should have started with the clothes and ended with the hair and make-up. Live and learn. Very carefully, he put on the shirt and then the skirt. He closed his eyes as he stepped in front of the full length mirror glued to his closet door. He took a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s just… try,” he whispered to himself. He opened his eyes… She looked great. Virgil had done a better job, but still. The outfit was… It helped. Janus felt a giddy laugh escape. She played with her hair and held out her hand as if she was greeting someone. “Hi,” she said, making her voice higher. “I’m… Janice. Nice to meet you.” Janice. Familiar but more fitting. Her heart was racing, her stomach in knots. Now this was closer to what Virgil described as falling in love. She was just so happy to meet herself. The pronoun felt much less scary in the privacy of her own room. She was going to have to do more research. Why was she only starting to feel this way now? What was that thing with Virgil earlier? Why did she only feel bad about her body on some days and others she was completely fine with being Janus. Was that normal? But for this moment she let herself be happy. Everything else could wait just a bit longer. The rest of summer, Janus did every chore they could. Their parents and uncle Lo had implemented a system that allowed Virgil and Janus to raise their allowance if they did chores. It was meant to teach them that a good work ethic got rewarded or something along those lines, Janus was sure. But all they cared about was that they’d be able to buy themself some make up and an outfit to wear when they needed it. They were still a mess. The good news was, they now knew why. They were gay. That much was clear. Or well they were exclusively into men. But after talking in some online chat groups, they’d figured out that they weren’t a trans woman, as they’d initially thought. They were, in fact, gender fluid. Some days, he was just Janus. Other days she was more comfortable as Janice. They were okay with they/them on any given day. That is, they’d figured that out in their head. But they weren’t out to anyone yet. They were terrified of telling any adult in their life. Even if they were fairly sure that Uncle Lo, at the very least, was fine with the whole gender thing. But still. They wanted to tell Virgil so badly. But… There was one more thing they’d figured out  that they weren’t ready to share. They were aromantic. Or at least on that spectrum. So… They did and didn’t have a crush on Virgil. There was definitely, attraction they felt for the boy now sitting next to them in the car, singing loudly with them to the songs of one of their favorite bands as they were headed off for a weekend in New York for a P!ATD concert. They were having fun. It was a Janus day, so they felt okay when Uncle Lo and Virgil used male pronouns and stuff like that. Virgil grinned at him. “You better be prepared, I’m going to make you fit in with the crowd tomorrow,” he promised. Janus rolled their eyes and laughed. Setting in the next song with him. About an hour later they got to their hotel. “We have two adjacent rooms. I trust you boys can be responsible enough to be left to your own devices after dinner?” Uncle Lo asked sternly. Virgil and Janus exchanged a glance. “You can trust that we won’t do anything that could make you decide to go back home tomorrow. Making us miss the concert.” Janus assured his honorary uncle, who chuckled. “Well, I suppose that is very sound reasoning. I’ll let you two unpack. We’ll have dinner in the hotel restaurant in an hour,” he reminded them. “Okay, dad,” Virgil grinned as he opened the door to their room and they brought in their luggage. Virgil dropped his as soon as he closed the door. He took a running start and flopped on the bed. Or beds. It was a two bed room, but the beds were pushed together. “This bed is awesome! You have to try this Jan!” Virgil’s tendency to shorten Janus’ name was actually a blessing on their feminine days. Janus smirked and dropped his bags too and dove onto the bed next to Virgil. Oh, they were soft and comfortable. “It’s going to be a pain pushing them apart,” they muttered. “Eh, worries for later,” Virgil said dismissively as he folded his arms behind his head and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m glad we get to do this. It feels like forever since we’ve just hung out you know?” Janus felt a little bad. They’d been very tense lately, which had put a damper on every time they’d visited Virgil or invited him over. They hoped things would get better soon. Once they got over their attraction, they could tell him everything. And then they could get back to normal. They just… Most of the time they were fine. But there were moments when Janus had a gay panic around Virgil and his instinctive reaction was to push away. Which obviously confused Virgil. And rightfully so. Rationally they knew that if they explained themselves, Virgil would understand he didn’t do anything wrong here and everything would be fine again. But they were afraid he’d be weirded out by it. He might be okay with their pronouns bouncing around the way they did. He might be okay with him being attracted to guys. And maybe even with him being aromatic… But him being attracted to him might be too much. “Yeah… Sorry. I’m just…” Janus tried to figure out how to explain some of what he’s going through. Virgil was his best friend. He should tell him. “Hey, I get it. High School has me pretty stressed out too. But even if we don’t have all classes together, there’s lunch, and we’ll see each other outside of school hours to. I mean, we live next to each other. There’s no getting rid of me.” He turned his head and smirked at Janus at the last part. Janus smiled a little. Feeling a little better knowing that Virgil had no intentions of leaving him behind. He never had turned away from him just because some other kids told him he could hang out with them. People had even stopped trying to separate them. With one annoying exception. But he wasn’t going to give that guy the satisfaction of taking up space in their summer. They stared at the ceiling for a while, just talking no sign of any awkwardness. They made it through a fun dinner and when they got back to the room they played a game of truth or dare. It was harmless stuff. Just acting silly and nothing too challenging. Until… “Janus, truth or dare?” Virgil chuckled as he sat down after dancing to ‘barbie girl’. “Dare,” Janus replied carelessly. “Okay… I dare you to…” Virgil bit his lip and played with his sleeve as he thought about a good challenge. Janus knew that these were nervous habits of his but they couldn’t dwell on it very much as suddenly Virgil smirked and leaned in. “I dare you to kiss me.” It was a joke. Very clearly he only meant to take Janus by surprise and tease them about their reaction. But Janus was tempted. He could do it. Kiss him like he’d wanted to and Virgil couldn’t be mad because he’d literally told him to do it. It was the only rule they had for this game. Don’t dare anyone to do something if you are not prepared for them to actually follow through. Because they could be competitive enough to do very dumb stuff just to prove a point. So… If he kissed him now, he could maybe finally get the thought out of their head. And try to gage Virgil’s reaction to see if he was ready for them to come out. They’d hesitated too long though. Virgil was falling back and chuckling. “Relax I was just joking. Besides I never specified where you had to kiss me or anything. No need to stress out about it. Though…” Virgil looked up at him with a thoughtful expression. “You’re pretty cute. I wouldn’t hate kissing you I suppose,” he smirked, making heat flood Janus’ body. He wouldn’t? “You know, if I had to,” he added as he stuck out his tongue. Janus felt his embarrassment turn into annoyance. Virgil had gotten into the habit of complementing him like that. Wrapped up in casual teasing. He couldn’t know that it got Janus’ hopes up and Janus knew that getting upset at him would only hurt them both. But he often found himself powerless to stop it. He tossed Virgil a pillow. “You’re impossible,” he huffed. Hoping Virgil wouldn’t spot the frustration in his tone. Which of course he did. “J?” he asked gently as he got up. Laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. Janus just curled in on himself, too embarrassed to face him. “Hey, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn’t mean anything with it okay?” Virgil assured him. “It’s just… I know you are kind of hung up on your skin sometimes… And you know I am terrible at expressing myself… All I wanted to do was like… Let you know I think you look cool and stuff. I know that it probably means nothing coming from me…” God, they were a terrible person. Virgil was trying his best to help them, to lighten the mood that plagued them even though they never let him in on what they were thinking. “You’re wrong,” they muttered into their knees. “It means a lot. It really does… I’m just being an ass hat,” they admitted. Virgil chuckled, their reply enough to let him relax it seemed. “Yeah, but I love ya anyway,” he assured them. There was a pause. “It’s getting late we should split the beds and get some sleep. Big day tomorrow,” Virgil noted. Janus uncurled themselves and nodded. They got up and each pulled one of the beds to the side. They dug through their suitcases for their PJs and Janus worried about whether it would be weird to go to the bathroom to get changed. In the past they just got dressed in front of one another when they stayed over. But that was all before… Before Janus could even finish their thoughts Virgil was heading to the bathroom. They relaxed, not even stopping to wonder why Virgil was suddenly shy about getting dressed in the same room as them. They just got dressed and in bed. They looked up when Virgil got back in the room. “Night J,” he bid as he turned off the lights. “Night V,” Janus replied. It took them a while to get to sleep. Try as they might they couldn’t keep themselves from imagining what it could’ve been like if they hadn’t hesitated. Those thoughts quickly turned to despair though. Virgil had never once expressed attraction to one of their male classmates. Not to mention that despite his whole broody aesthetic, their friend definitely wanted a romantic relationship. Their dreams were plagued with the fear of being found out and rejected. When they woke up Virgil was grinning down at them. Dressed and ready for the day. “Get up sleepy head. Time to get dressed. Breakfast is in one hour,” he informed them as he tossed them color shampoo. Right. They were going to be turned into a real emo kid for the concert today. Janus groaned and got up. Since when was Virgil a morning person? He was usually the last to fully wake up. He must be really looking forward to today. When they got into the bathroom they finally woke up enough to realize that not sleeping well wasn’t the only thing that had them feeling like crap. It was a Janice day. They let out a sigh and were grateful that they packed something they were comfortable in no matter how they felt for the concert. After their shower, they wrapped their hair up in a towel and pulled on the skinny jeans and the baggy band shirt Virgil gave them when he told them they were going to the concert. Apparently it being a few sizes to large added to the look. To Janice, it kind of felt as close as they dared to get to wearing a dress in public. “J? You done yet? Come on! I want to make you pretty!” Virgil’s teasing voice came through the door. Janice wished they could let their friend know how much they appreciated his make overs. “Yeah, I’m ready,” they replied, trying to sound slightly reluctant. Virgil got in with a grin, dragging a chair from the room along with him. He sat Janice down and dashed out of the room to get his make-up bag. When he returned his grin had not faded even a little. He immediately got to work. “You want to wear your hair down or up today?” he asked as he took out a hairdryer and started drying their hair for them. “Down,” Janice replied. Always down on Janice days. Virgil nodded. “Okay. I’m going to pull it out of the way for a bit though,” he informed them as he turned off the hairdryer and tied their hair together on the top of their head. “Close your eyes. It’s going to be a surprise,” he told them. Janice took a deep breath and relaxed as they closed their eyes. They felt Virgil apply something to their face with a sponge. Then a soft brush applied something powdery. Then he made quick work of their eyes and lips. “Okay. It should be warmed up now,” they heard Virgil murmur as he let down their hair again. Before they could ask they felt Virgil start to brush their hair. Pulling up locks and holding something warm against their scalp, moving upwards slowly. Wait was he… Straightening their hair? “Okay…” Virgil mused as he readjusted their shirt. “You can look.” Janice could hear the pride in Virgil’s voice. Clearly he was satisfied with the result. They opened their eyes and felt their mouth drop in awe. “Tragically beautiful I’d say,” Virgil smirked. Their birthmarks… They were gone. Or hidden at least. “What do you think?” Virgil pressed, sounding a little nervous. “It looks great,” they agreed. The waves were out of their hair and the black color actually looked pretty good. Their eyes and lips were accented with dark make-up. They looked good. A little sad but… Also cute? Virgil had rearranged their shirt. Janice had tried to center it, but Virgil had made it so that one of their shoulders was bare. They had never felt this good about how they looked on a Janice day while there were others around. “Awesome. Give me a minute to fix myself and then we’ll head to breakfast,” Virgil told them, clearly relieved that they liked their look. Uncle Lo was okay with Janice’s make over as soon as Virgil assured him that the color wouldn’t stick. And even that was probably only because he didn’t want Janice’s parents to get upset about it. They spent the day sightseeing. Janice got addressed as ‘miss’ at a few stores and while he and Virgil chuckled about it, in secret Janice was very happy with those instances. The concert itself was amazing. For a little bit they could pretend that they didn’t have massive secrets and that things would be okay.

everything to lose

@moonlightshow00​ @naturallyunstablegamer​ @alias290​ @meowthefluffy​ @frida0043​ @angelic-cali​ @selenechris​ @theblackveilinreverse​ @cirishere​ @hestianerd1​

[turtletimewriting]

TickleTober Day 11: Death Spot

Summary: There’s a new villain on the streets, and despite his friendly manner, he has found the most effective weapons! 

Note: This is inspired by fluffymary piece about a supervillain Patton! Just in case, this is shockingly a tickle fic! Not written as platonic or romantic so read either way! Ler Patton and Lee Roman, Logan and Virgil. 

_._._

Night fell upon Sanders City. The lights peering from the few windows did little but exaggerate how cold and dark the streets truly were. Streetlights had just flicked off. Families were now all settled into bed, waiting to fall asleep. The roar of an occasional car was the only sound that rumbled through the city. Yet, there was one man walking confidently through the streets. Clearly he had been doing this for years. 

This was Roman Prince, or simply just the Prince. The stark white of his hero costume looked a dark blue in the night, but his reflective red sash made him clear. He’d been protecting this city for going on two years now. His summoning abilities proving effective against any foe that dared set his sights against the city. 

But little did he know, there was another man walking around as well. 

The Prince paused once he circled round back into the town centre. He had only been circling around for fifteen minutes but somehow, someone had vandalised the entire main square. 

Toilet roll was flung pretty effectively to cover every inch on the place, there was chalk messages scrawled across many surfaces and there was one figure standing in the direct middle of the carnage. 

He was dressed... very casually. In a grey cat jumper with the hood drawn over his head, which perfectly showed off the jumper’s floppy grey cat ears. He was wearing a cat mask and seemed to be shivering in the cold a little. His hands sat in his hips. Everything about his pose screamed confidence but everything else screamed tired dad who wanted to go back to bed. 

Roman felt his stomach tighten. He couldn’t deal with fans at the moment. There had been rumours of another villain planning to run amok and he had to keep his eyes peeled. He was about to greet the man when the words died in his throat. What if this was a distraction! He stepped closer but now with his hands cupped in front of him, already summoning a perfect orb of water to protect himself. 

“Hello there! It’s a bit late to be out isn't it?” 

“It’s never to late for villainy, Prince!” The figure shouted back but didn't take any steps closer. Waiting for the prince to come to him.

“Easy there, that could be seen as uh a bit incriminating?” Roman was completely off guard. He didn't want to arrest the guy! He wanted to offer him his jacket and escort him home. But clearly he had done this... vandalism? But... real villains would use spray paint and break things.... cause actual damage. “I’m guessing you did all this then?”

“This city has had it easy for too long! It’s time Sanders got a better... Moral Compass!” The man now jumped forward. Roman could finally get a better look at him and every single first impression he had proved right. He had bouncy beautiful blond curls, partnered with a freckled face and him being a good few inches smaller than him all added up to the idea of this ‘villain’ being adorable. 

“I dunno… I feel like even on a good day that Fear Eater guy can give me the run around. I think Sanders has enough villains for the mean time.”

“Oh, you poor fool, Prince! You haven’t even asked what my grand plan is,” Moral Compass chuckled before slowly pulling out a weapon. It clearly wasn’t a normal gun. It glowed that same light blue as the chalk and he could hear it whirring away from where he was standing. “Meet my friend here, the death spot ray!” 

Roman frowned, he really didn’t want to fight this guy. He looked so unprepared for this. All Roman would have to do is throw that orb of water he still held and the man would be pushed back and soaked and even colder. Frozen cold water plus the October night would be quick to end to the fight. 

But even the title of death spot ray clearly screamed danger... he couldn’t afford to risk anything.

“I don’t want to fight! What are your demands?” Roman concentrated and prayed that Moral Compass wouldn’t see his new summon. It was more rushed than he’d like to admit but the last thing he’d want is his first impression to genuinely put people in danger. His summoned owl quickly appeared from his hands and he threw it behind him. Smiling when he finally heard it flap away into the night, he didn’t dare lift his eyes away from Moral Compass. 

“Demands? Oh um... Wait!” Moral Compass suddenly straightened before fumbling through the hoodie’s pockets, withdrawing a crumpled cluster of paper. “Oh yeah, Sanders City surrenders to me!” Roman waited a few moments to see if this was a list but no other response came. 

“Well. I can’t allow that Moral.”

“Then I demand you laugh!” 

Moral Compass thrusted the weapon upwards as he pulled the trigger. A sound went off and a cylinder of cyan blue quickly emptied but nothing was released. Roman had summoned a shield but frowned when nothing hit it. He waited a few more moments before peeking his head out the shield. 

Moral Compass stood there proudly with a wide smile. 

“Uh... hate to spoil the fun, but did it hit me?” Roman asked as he brushed down his costume. He wasn’t too panicked, he could hear the police sirens from the other side of the town. Good timing! 

“Oh you’ll see! You’ll become a laughing stock of the city Prince!” 

Well that wasn’t helpful but Roman brushed down his costume again, feeling a strange sensation run through him. Now, he wasn’t that much of an idiot, he knew what he was feeling was surely a result of the weapon. But for such a scarily named weapon, he expected more. He just kinda felt itchy. But he was also aware that the sensation was increasing slowly. 

From a faint sensation to a definite presence poking around his stomach. 

He huffed a sigh of relief once Logan finally got his act together and ran over. The summoned owl following after him. It wasn’t often that Roman wanted to drag police officers into his messes but he also knew better than to deal out his own punishments. And maybe also he liked the idea of someone having his back in case things went south.

“Prince! Any injuries?” Logan called before sliding to sit under Roman’s shield where he was also kneeling until he could gain a sense of what’s happening. 

“Uh, don’t thihink so...” He trailed off when he felt a stab of ticklishness shoot through him. Oh no... Death spot ray... Uh oh. “Um okay I know what he dhihihi heh did!”

“Prince?” Logan asked, now lifting his arms so he could at least double check the Prince’s abdomen since that’s what he was clutching. 

“No!” Roman cried out before feeling the laughter being punched from him. He was never good at hiding his laugh when people got his death spot. “HahahaHAAHAAHA!” 

Moral Compass smiled upon hearing that laughter. The laughter born from chaos and helplessness. He placed the weapon back in its holster and casually skipped over to the shield. 

“Okay? Right. Well, we need to get you out of here. There’s been reports of-” Logan started, pulling the Prince’s flailing arms around his neck but now this new bad guy was standing behind them. An excited, almost evil, grin started back at him. 

“Oh hello there officer! I just want to make a point here. Leave him be!” 

“Not a chance,” Logan snarled back and reached to grab his radio. Admittedly a tickle gun wasn’t dangerous but it was more if he had a tickle gun then what else could he have. But he didn't think about what that would look like from the villain’s perspective. 

He was shot with the bizarre weapon before he could even blink. 

Logan trusted his instinct and simply grabbed a hysterical Prince and ran for the car. But what started as confident running soon turned into dragging his feet like he had an itch. Before long, Logan was forced to a stop just right beside the police vehicle. “Heh! Uh, c’mon hah um Princeheheee!” 

“LOHOHAHAHAHAAA! MAHAKE IT STOHOHIAHAHA STOP!” Roman squealed, unable to focus on literally anything but the tickles digging into his ticklish tummy. Now that Logan was now hunching over, he slipped from his grip and fell on to the floor. Kicking his feet wildly like that would stop the frantic scribbling on his stomach. His face was a tomato at this point. 

“I cahahaaaaaaaa aAHAHAHAAHAAAHAHA! I CAN’T! HAHAHAA!” Logan finally gave in, there felt like they’re were fluffy brushes, light but firm tickles, swamping his feet. He leaned against the police car, hoping that he would at least stay on his feet. 

They were both laughing too hard to see the silhouette standing on a building overlooking the wrecked town square. A very familiar and dangerous silhouette...

“Now what’s going on h-”

“AH!” Moral Compass shrieked before firing blindly at the voice. 

Fear Eater stood there with an incredulous look on his face. “What was that for?”

“Oh! Fear Eater! Sorry! I uh just panicked?” Moral Compass now lowered the weapon. Finally sounding like how he looked. 

“You dare challenge me? You think you’re cut out for all this villainy stuff huh?” Fear Eater was clearly fuming but his hands were shaking and he was nervously looking away, “You wanna have an honest go at making a meaningful change to this city then you’re going to have to actually just try and steel your nerves. What a... what ar- What do you thihink you’re heh doing waving thahat thiihihihih hehahahahaahaaa!” 

Now, if Prince was under the influence of the all powerful death spot ray himself then this day would be the best day of his entire existence!

The all powerful Fear Eater, with his stupid edgy name and emo style, was curled up on the floor giggling away like a maniac! 

Now, if Fear Eater wasn’t currently laughing his ass off, he would have treasured this day for the rest of his life. 

The all powerful Prince, with his fake title and pompous style, was collapsed on the floor snorting away. 

But at the end of the day, all of them were being tickle tortured on their absolute death spots and it was only Moral Compass left standing. It was with way more people than he first intended, and his vandalism had kinda been forgotten, but he had achieved what he wanted. 

The heroes and villains of Sanders City now looked as ridiculous as they all acted.  

[starlocked01]

I’ll Stay Awake (because the dark’s not taking prisoners tonight)

AO3

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary: Virgil doesn't get to meet his soulmates each night. No, he has nightmares. His roommate decides to stage an intervention.

A/N: I’m not even going to pretend I was close to representing actual therapy. I really probably should have done more research and I’m sorry v-v

Content Warnings: Cussing, Nightmares, Self-harm, Depictions of drowning, Panic, Paralysis, Anxiety Medications

Day 12 Anxceitmus (background Logicality)- You meet your soulmates each night in your dreams

"You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!"

Virgil tore through the broken landscape, avoiding holes in the floor and checking around every corner. The demon with glowing green eyes pursued relentlessly, cackling laughter peeling off the rusted metal surfaces and echoing so that he couldn’t tell where the source was coming from. All Virgil could do was keep running.

He rounded a corner and found himself face to face with a half-man half-snake, the face grotesquely split between each form. The human hand raised up toward him. Virgil backpedaled to escape its grasp.

"Sssstop!" the creature hissed. Virgil pulled his hoodie around his face and screamed.

He bolted upright in bed, still screaming. His roommate groaned and rolled over, turning on a lamp on his nightstand.

"Another nightmare, kiddo?" Patton looked a lot less caring than he sounded.

"Sorry," Virgil whimpered, fidgeting with his bed covers.

"Logan and I are pretty used to being interrupted by now. I just wish you could meet your soulmate instead of having these awful, scary nightmares," Patton yawned, "I'll leave the light on for you, maybe that will help." Patton rolled back over and was snoring in minutes.

Virgil sat in bed, unable and unwilling to fall back asleep. To keep himself awake he blasted music through his headphones and scratched at his skin. 

When the morning alarm rang out, Patton yawned and stretched out of the bed only to find Virgil up and working on homework. The dark bags under his eyes gave him away. Patton frowned and walked over, laying a hand on the boy's shoulder. Virgil jerked back, breathing hard, shaking off Patton's hand and tipping the chair dangerously close to falling back.

"Hey kiddo, how'd you sleep?" Patton smiled but Virgil only growled in response, flipping up his hood to hide his face. "Aww, I'm sorry."

"I'll be fine," Virgil glared at Patton and opened his desk drawer. Inside was filled with energy drinks. He grabbed three, stuffing two in his backpack and cracking open the third.

"Virgil, I'm worried about you."

"Well, don't."

Patton sighed and started getting ready for his day.

Virgil finished his drink before his 8 am calc class. By 8:15 he was already cracking open the second one.

Virgil sat with Logan and Patton during his lunch break, picking at a bowl of soup that was nearly unidentifiable.

"Virgil, Patton told me you didn't sleep again last night," Logan stated matter-of-factly.

"What do you care, wonder nerd?" Virgil bit back.

"We're your friends and we're worried about you, Virge," Patton smiled sadly.

"Honestly you might need professional help. You should look into a therapist to talk with about the nightmares. You can't live on sugary caffeinated drinks forever," Logan reprimanded him. Virgil glared at Logan.

"I know a guy who's really easy to talk to. At least try?" Patton tried to make eye contact but Virgil emphatically ignored him. Patton sighed, "whatever, we just want you to be able to take care of yourself and not scratch yourself raw every night. If you decide to try, here's Dr. Picani's number." Patton slid a slip of paper across the table to a stunned Virgil.

"How did you know?" he asked quietly.

"I just know what I'm looking for when it comes to that kind of stuff," Patton looked uncomfortable and Logan placed a comforting hand on his back.

"Okay.. thanks," Virgil didn’t look up as he gathered his stuff to leave the cafeteria.

Virgil felt locked in his car. All he had to do was get out and walk inside the office building, but he felt paralyzed in the driver's seat. This was such a bad idea. There was no way this would help. He needed to get out of there go home and pack up and get on the next flight out of the country and hope that no one ever tried to talk to him agai-

His phone rang. He didn't recognize the number but answered on autopilot.

"Hello, Virgil Strike speaking."   

"Hello, Virgil! This is Dr. Picani. I'm just calling because our session was scheduled to start at 4 but you're still sitting out in your car-" Virgil looked up and could see a man in the building window on the phone waving to him, "-are you okay? Do you need to reschedule?"

"No, I'm sorry, I-. I'll be in in a minute," Virgil waved back and disconnected the call. After a herculean effort, he made his way inside and was greeted by Dr. Picani who led him back to his office.

"Now, Virgil, I think I'll spare you my normal introduction," Picani grinned at the inside joke with himself, "this is a safe place for you to say anything. Nothing you tell me leaves this room unless you talk with someone else about it. Understand?" Virgil nodded. His pulse was spiking but Picani's calm demeanor helped immensely. 

"Alright, so let's get to know each other a little bit! What's your favorite cartoon?" the doctor grinned widely as though this were a completely normal question to ask.

"Uhhh does anime count? If not I'd have to say 'Happy Tree Friends'," Virgil stared the doctor in the eye as he jotted down the answer.

"Edgy! What about Spongebob?" The smile on his face never broke. They continued to talk until Dr. Picani worked the conversation around to why Virgil decided to come to therapy.

"My roommate and his soulmate think my lifestyle is pretty unhealthy, and it only really got bad when I started having nightmares instead of dreams after my birthday," Virgil scratched the back of his neck. It was hard to admit that he hadn't had a soulmate dream like everyone else did after their 18th birthday. To his surprise, the therapist didn't laugh or scoff.

"And how are the nightmares affecting you?"

"Well, I usually wake up screaming in the middle of the night and can't let myself go back to sleep. I'm lucky if I get 3 hours a night. Which means I'm falling asleep in Calc almost every day, not that I'm behind in class, and I drink a lot of coffee and energy drinks," Virgil paused and took a huge breath, "and this has become kinda a problem." He pulled up the sleeve of his hoodie to show the therapist the scratches and scars on his arm. "It's not like cutting! I just kinda scratch to keep myself from falling back asleep after the nightmares."

"Oh my, your friends were right, Virgil. This is very unhealthy. I'm glad you took their advice and came in," Dr. Picani smiled warmly to reassure Virgil. They spoke for the rest of the hour and just before Virgil left the doctor spoke up again, "Virgil, I'd like you to try an over the counter anxiety medication. We may need to get you a prescription for something that's stronger but I'd like you to try something over the counter first to see if you feel better. I think your anxieties are affecting your dreams. Maybe we can take that edge off so you can get some more sleep, which will have a domino effect on everything else. Maybe with better sleep, you can work on using less caffeine, which will help you feel calmer. Let me know how it works when you come in next week."

Virgil nodded hesitantly but stopped at a pharmacy on the way home anyway. He was ready to try anything at this point. 

Patton was waiting when he got back to the dorm. 

"How'd it go?" he asked with a bright smile.

"Doc's weird… but I think it's going to help," Virgil smiled back, setting his bottle of pills on his desk. 

Virgil popped two of the pills. Patton had gone to sleep already and was happily dreaming. Probably talking with Logan too.  Virgil settled into bed, uncertain of what the night would bring.

Virgil’s legs and feet were bound together with a thick tentacle that pulled him beneath the water before he could cry for help. Dragged underneath, Virgil found his lungs filling with water, but then discovered he could breathe the water without his body screaming for air. The tentacle dragged him deeper and deeper into the murky water.

After what felt like an eternity, Virgil could see a giant pair of green eyes reflecting in the formless dark. He kicked and struggled against the creature.

"I've got you now! Stop struggling, you emo nightmare!" a voice growled from the darkness.

"Let me GO!" Virgil cried out, tearing at the tentacle with his hands. The grip on his legs loosened and he kicked free, swimming towards the surface.

Rising to the surface, Virgil was tossed by the waves onto a sandy beach. He coughed up the seawater and laid on his back, sun burning down on him. Too hot. He couldn't move as the sand baked around him. 

A cool, smooth sensation crept up his foot and leg. Virgil couldn't move to see what it was as it moved up his torso. He heard a soft hissing and opened his eyes to find a yellow snake staring back at him. He tried to scream but had no voice, tried to throw the snake off but couldn't move. 

The snake… shook its head?

"Honessstly, why do you keep avoiding usss?" the snake spoke with a lisping voice.

Virgil found his and replied, "what the hell do you want with me?" His eyes were wide with fear.

"You haven't figured it out? We're your sssoulmatesss."

Virgil sat up in bed in a cold sweat. The bedside clock showed it was much later than he normally woke up in terror. Patton slept undisturbed. Virgil felt almost calm enough to go back to sleep. Not that he wanted to if his soulmates were monsters.

Over the next few weeks, Virgil used over the counter anxiety medication regularly. He felt a lot calmer in class and the nightmares were a lot less terrifying. 

After a few sessions with Dr. Picani, Virgil picked up prescription medication and felt immensely more relaxed.

The landscape was still hellish and broken. Virgil didn’t feel like running. Instead of a demon, a boy his age with gorgeous green eyes and a streak of silver in his brown hair rounded the corner, ready for the chase.

"Alright let's fucking do- wait you aren't running," the boy looked confused and a little disappointed.

"You aren't a demon so why would I run?" Virgil shrugged.

"Oh my god, finally! Let's go find Double D," the boy grabbed Virgil by the wrist and started dragging him down the hall.

"What's your name?" Virgil asked, catching up to the other and twisting his hand so they were holding hands.

"Ooh you're fresh!" he chuckled, "just wait until we find Double D."

"Who's Double D?"

"Our other soulmate."

"Woah two soulmates?"

"Yeah, neat huh?"

"Sure, why 'Double D'?"

The boy stopped walking and turned to face Virgil, "we were waiting for you to tell each other our names and you took your sweet time so we gave each other nicknames. That's why you're Emo Nightmare and he's Double D."

"So what are you called?"

The boy grinned manically, "Fucker."

They continued walking through the twisted halls until they found another boy with one golden brown eye and one dark brown eye smiling at them as they rounded the corner.

"There you are. Did you finally catch him?" He asked in a silky smooth voice.

"Nah, for once the emo didn't want to run," the green-eyed boy grinned.

"Well maybe you two shouldn't have acted like monsters," Virgil smirked, "so, who are you guys?"

The green-eyed boy was practically bouncing out of his shoes, "I'm Remus!" he blurted out.

"My name is Janus," Janus held out a hand to Virgil, "and you are?"

"Not telling you," Virgil laughed at the scowls each of them gave them, "I'm kidding. My name is Virgil. It's good to meet you guys."

"Likewise," Janus grinned as Virgil took his hand.   

Remus picked them both up in a strong vise-like hug and twirled them around. They continued to talk the rest of the night, agreeing just before they woke up to not exchange direct addresses or phone numbers until they all met in person.

Virgil woke up more refreshed than ever, excited to find his soulmates in real life. Occasionally the dreams still started as nightmares but he was able to recognize Janus and Remus in the terrors and they could help talk him down from the fear. Each night they got to know each other better, talking about school and work and hobbies and everything else they could think of.

One day when a stranger with two different colored eyes sat down across from Virgil in the cafeteria, it felt as though Virgil had known him his whole life. 

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