#I THINK I WILL START TAGGING MY RIDICULOUS AWFUL POSTS ABOUT THEM… it is So funny when they breach containment at all

[femboy-central]

I can’t believe I had to call the Real Words “have you seen my natsby yaoi pin I don’t know where I put it :(“ across the house to my actual mother today. And she knew what I was talking about

[old-habitz-die-hard]

We need to talk about the EMH fandom

tldr; long rant on how the emh fandom has a lot of not-so great people in it. Also overlaps with the tribetwelve fandom hence the tags

Recently, being in this fandom, I’ve been seeing a massive influx of discourse over nazis and nazi art. Artists have been putting hate symbols in their HABIT art and EMH art in general. specifically the drawing of one specific artist.

However, I’d like to remind many that this has been going on for a while with many different people in the fandom. So many people in the EMH fandom have admitted to being neo-nazis, and have obsessed over the part of Tribetwelve where HABIT admits he worked with them (which, by the way, was pretty much retconned.) Many say they’ve seen fans of it who have Nazi symbols on their profile, and I’ll admit I’ve seen it as well. Many who do this also do not take it seriously, acting like the Nazis and their symbolism are just some funny cute thing that they can identify with or spread around. In relation to that, users have gotten harassed off servers for even having HABIT or Evan pfps, one stating they were repeatedly called a nazi and people lying and saying their pfp was art by Fvcksnuff, a problematic artist in the fandom. The user was eventually banned after being ridiculed, just for their profile picture being a character. The funny thing is, it wasn’t even HABIT as their profile, it was art of Evan.

Another thing is the romanticism of necrophilia, from specific people headcanoning HABIT as a necrophile and people in the fandom saying they’ve been getting anons asking what they think of the headcanon. The fandom has had a very long history of paraphilia romanticism (necrophilia and zoophilia, mainly), such as the disrespect towards the boundaries of the literal creators and actors, one of them who has specifically stated they DO NOT want rape fanfics of them on ao3. Many people fandom ignore these boundaries, by the way.

Lastly, in relation to that, there’s the sexualization of the actors, which they’ve admitted makes them very uncomfortable, specifically Evan. Please stop sexualizing HABIT or Evan. They may be characters, but a real person plays said characters. Many have acknowledged this and ignored it completely, especially people on Pinterest or tiktok. One of my mutuals has been one to witness and experience this, getting increasingly sexual and creepy comments on his HABIT pins. He’s told people to stop, but people didn’t listen and continued to make him uncomfortable. He admitted that it got so bad he started turning off all comments on his posts since he didn’t want to see those comments anymore. this has also happened on tiktok, where if you go into the comments of any video about habit, they will be overly sexual and explicit, even if the topic of the video isnt inherently sexual.

It’s not just a vocal minority. This fandom has a LOT of awful people just hiding around in it.

The fandom recently has been a dumpster fire of discourse upon discourse, and it’s disheartening to see. Harassment, threats, and general discord. II’d like to say that instead of arguing and arguing, we drive the people who do this out of the fandom. If you want a better community in this fanbase, you need to do something to MAKE it better.

If you have anything other problem about this fandom you think I should research and add to the post, please share.

[mazzystar24]

idk who else to go to with this but i have so many people sending me hate because i don’t like bucktommy when i literally never even post about them????? they keep calling me toxic and a hater and i’m not i just have shipped buddie for years and i don’t vibe with tommy…. it makes me sad because this fandom used to bond over buddie so much but now i just see angry tommy fans (and admittedly some buddie fans but nowhere near as many) spreading so much hatred and rudeness while turning around and calling buddie fans toxic when we just want to ship our 6 year long standing ship… and like i said i genuinely never post about bucktommy, and if i do say something about them that can be perceived as negative then i always tag it “anti-bucktommy” and i NEVER tag it bucktommy so that they don’t have to even see it! It hurts to open up the app not knowing if i’m going to have another person calling me homophobic or a fetishizer (i’m literally queer) or calling me a toxic bitch when i literally don’t do anything but post happy buddie content 9/10 posts! and like i said i know i’ve seen some buddie accounts go to extremes and i’m not defending that, but i’ve seen people who will call out even the slightest apprehension to bucktommy as if they stepped on someone’s grave, while simultaneously bullying and harassing buddie shippers for minding their own business… like i can’t even go into the buddie tag and it’s people attacking us left and right while the bucktommy tag is nothing but everyone gushing over them… i hate that we can’t enjoy a 6 year old ship anymore because half the fandom decided to jump to this other one that has barely gotten any screentime between two characters that don’t really have chemistry with each other and they want to berate us for it and call us names. I’m not a fetishizer and I’m not toxic, I’m just a late 20s queer girl who wants to talk about buddie without a barrage of hate and insults thrown at me but I can’t do that anymore… 9-1-1/buddie used to be my safe place but now i can’t even come on tumblr because i’m worried a stan will be lurking in my asks/replies waiting to tell me how awful i am.

i’m sorry to dump all of that on you but i just opened a really nasty ask and it hurt a lot to read what they said about me and you were the first person on my dash

Hey anon!

Okay so I can already guess I’ll be late posting this cos i think I’ll be replying to this in increments throughout my day today, and also I can tell this is really bothering you so I don’t wanna just give like a short rushed answer - oh wow I actually wrote this in one sitting cos I can’t shut up once I start

Yes the fandom has been a downright mess lately and it’s like I always say, people if you wanna engage in discourse that’s your prerogative and no one is faulting you for that but it’s the utter lack of fandom etiquette these toxic fans have that’s the real issue and I also feel like as you said a huge issue is this kind of imaginary high horse they seem to have

Like I totally agree that there is like this section of toxic bucktommy fans who try to warp not liking bucktommy into being biphobic- which look if people are actually being biphobic by all means call them out but when you’re going to actual queer people who posted 166283894 posts celebrating bi buck, only to attack them for not liking the ship?? Then that’s just plain stupid I’m sorry, like being happy to have the queer rep and not liking bucktommy isn’t mutually exclusive and it’s ridiculous people are trying to make it out to be

Like I’ve personally been sent an ask like that where they implied that I was biphobic for not being a big fan of bucktommy and that “I don’t know how exhausting it is for bi people” - which I gotta say made me go what about my blog would ever make someone think ah yes straight 🤩

And thing is at the time they sent that my most note filled post was my celebration reaction meme extravaganza to getting bi buck which I feel added some fun irony to the whole thing

And calling people shipping two MEN (buddie) homophobic takes a special kind of cognitive dissonance that I gotta say I’d almost be impressed with the leaps in logic if it wasn’t so annoying

Now I personally don’t know what state the bucktommy tag is in cos I mostly stick to the 911 abc and the buddie tag but I know how the buddie tag has been and I agree the misuse of tags to make a negative space is absolutely ridiculous and again that all goes back to the etiquette part

And the fetishising thing is also just another thing that absolutely grates my nerves, because these toxic fans really need a dictionary thrown at their heads because buddie is like the polar opposite of that.

First of all a large section of buddie shippers im aware have asexual Eddie headcanons and that aside let’s say we want gay Eddie and buddie and all those things, let’s even say we want them to fuck nasty *gasp🫢* and sloppy and write 156273 smut fics where they plain fuck like rabbits (*nun faints in the background* also probably some pearl clutching occurred upon reading this),

THAT’S NOT THE POINT HERE- the point is the main appeal of buddie as a ship isn’t that ooo look two hot guys kissing; it’s the history it’s the friendship, it’s the vulnerability, it’s the will scene, the shooting, the trust, the parallels, the understanding of each other, it’s the domesticity and it’s all these moments that have nothing to do with sex or objectifying their dynamic or mlm relationships but rather shipping them because they are two people with this amazing connection and these experiences

and THAT? That’s the furthest thing from fetishisation

Now I could be controversial and talk about how SOME and some is the operative word of this sentence- SOME toxic bucktommy fans have been blatant in not really caring about the story or the characters or buck and Tommy as individuals or the team dynamic or anything other than seeing these two men kiss, these being a lot of the same fans who refuse to watch the show other than the bucktommy and Tommy scenes and then will act like they somehow understand the show more than fans who’ve been here years or seen the whole show BUT I digress because I know that saying this is me basically asking for spam hate (so shhhh let’s pretend I didn’t say that 🤫)

who said that? 👀not me👀damn that’s crazy a ghost just ran across my keyboard 🙄

Anyways back to you specifically, because I really do think it bares mentioning, if you’ve been respectful to others then that’s all you can do and thank you on the behalf of everyone cos it really makes a difference, and I wanna say sorry on the behalf of every asshole who’s deciding to attack you for ridiculous reasons, the best advice I can give you is to genuinely not let it get to you I know it’s easier said than done but you know who you are and you know your intentions and some dumbass sitting behind a screen who can’t even properly comprehend what biphobia or fetishisation actually is (or worse DOES know what it is but is just using it as a way to put others down over a tv show to have an imaginary high ground) isn’t worth your time or your distress and they cannot change who you are

This part might be over explaining the obvious but in case you don’t know/ are new to tumblr or whatever: If you wanna continue to have fandom spaces as a safe place filtering should get rid of a lot of the posts and so should blocking but ofc you’ll see a few so just skip past and enjoy the content you like, if you wanna make posts and are scared of asks from toxic shippers maybe you can turn off your asks temporarily until you feel like you’re in a better place mentally to deal with it

Oooo or an idea that might work is you can ask your followers and mutuals (who are the ones most likely to be sending the nice asks) to use an emoji at the start of their asks to indicate to you that this is an ask you’ll like then you can delete any ask without that emoji without even having to look at the hate if it’s causing you that anxiety - if that makes sense?

I hope my reply somehow made you feel better and I really hope that you can have your fandom space and enjoyment back 🫶🫶🫶🫶

[xerith-42]

Actually legit not even a joke I think I sit in my home and think about C!Dream and everything he could've been at least once per day. It's such a frequent train of thought for me I've gone down so many times and I always end up somewhere new and beautiful.

(also I'm gonna call the character Dream and refer to the content creator as Clay cause I hate typing out the tags before hand)

Cause like. Listen. A character like Dream can really work in any story if handled right. And he really could have worked in the SMP as a force of unrecognized unmitigated chaos with seemingly no end or way to control it. He did do that for a while but there was something externally, something outside of the narrative that never let his arc be realized.

While a lot of stuff influenced DSMP arcs in weird ways outside of the narrative (scheduling, drama, literally not knowing where the story was going), the worst offender has to be how much potential Dream could have had if Clay was willing to let go of his ego and be cyber bullied more.

Okay hear me out--

Dream is an asshole. We can all agree on this, right? He sucks, he's a shitty person who did awful things for seemingly no reason, a mad man desperately holding onto power and control because it's all he has in a world literally of his own making. The key to having a character who sucks this hard in your story is to have them be properly humbled.

The issue is that Clay, almost as a reflection of his character, refused to be humble. He seemingly always had to be in the right, his character always had to have a way out of situations, and if we take his word on it, Dream planned out everything.

But that's just. Not entertaining.

You wanna know what is entertaining?

Techno bullying Dream.

I'm so serious when I say the Prison Podcast might be my favorite individual DSMP stream. Dream keeps always trying to hold onto power both physically and psychologically, and it keeps failing because Techno is right there, being stronger than him in both regards without even trying.

When Dream is always beating everyone down and making them miserable we need scenes of the same happening to him and the only character to ever do that was Techno. Techno was so good at bullying Dream that 80% of their interactions were just him bulling Dream. Which is a needed contrast to show that as much of a manipulative little fuck Dream is, he's not immune to the very torment he puts others through.

He too is not above judgment, and the person judging him has kicked his ass in the past that he's known as one of the few people who's ever defeated Dream and considered his top competitor. And the best part is that Techno doesn't care even a little! He bullies Dream like it's breathing because Dream really is that easy to ridicule the minute he doesn't have power over someone.

Dream's such a loser that it's always fun to watch someone clown on him. The DSMP needed more moments where Techno or even other characters got to absolutely clown on Dream unchallenged. It would make his antics far more bearable and also his constant need to push against Techno's bullying is a revealing thing about his character but that's a whole other post.

Needless to say, Dream being bullied would be beneficial to the SMP also in terms of balancing out the comedy. Dream, despite being really funny sometimes, has a hard time being comedic once he starts being taken so fuckin seriously all the time. And his actions carry weight, I don't want to diminish that, I just want someone in the story to belittle him for everything he's ever done.

But I mean... We all know Clay wasn't going to let too much of that happen. Which is a damn shame.

Shout out to the timeline where the prison podcast was actually a subathon that went on until Phil checked on the stream and let Techno out of prison, I hope you guys know how good you have it.

[jimmycarterghostland]

I'm currently on the Monarch arc of Worm.

This is a negative post, and I'm going to be pointing out some issues I have with Worm. I started writing a similar post a few weeks ago, but I felt it was too negative, so I deleted it. But I'm having it difficult to keep my criticism of Worm to myself. There are some things in it that bother me, and it will be nice to discuss it. Staying silent about it is too aggravating.

Some of these aren't necessary signs of bad writing, but are things that irritate me personally.

Firstly, Taylor being angry at Regent for mocking Shatterbird in that one chapter. This is the same woman who wounded and killed thousands of people in the city, including wounding Taylor's own dad, yet Taylor is angry at Regent for mocking Shatterbird? Seriously, WTF? If I were Taylor, I would be fighting the urge to do a lot worse to Shatterbird than simply mocking her. Taylor doesn't even seem to hate her. Regent, the more immoral character, despises her a lot more than Taylor does, who doesn't even seem to hate Shatterbird anyway. This flaw especially bothers me. It's also unrealistic. I don't understand how Taylor can have a problem with that mass murderer being treated badly, especially since that mass murderer is also the person who injured Taylor's father. It's ridiculous. It's also not the only time Taylor does that annoying "I won't stoop down to that awful person's level" thing. As if not being cruel to someone who definitely deserved to be treated with cruelty makes you so heroic and noble.

Secondly, I hate it when Wildbow puts apostrophes around words used for sarcasm. Like, he would sometimes write a sentence such as this: He walked over to his 'friend'.

Just drop the apostrophes, please. Or use italics, maybe.

Thirdly, this one is a dialogue issue. Sometimes Wildbow does a bad job at making it clear which character is speaking. He would have a line of non-dialogue between two dialogue lines, and none of them would have dialogue tags, making it hard to know which character is speaking. It's irritating.

And sometimes Wildbow has characters taking turns speaking, with no dialogue tags, and you keep having to go back to when the conversation started, to see which line of dialogue belongs to which character. A lot of writers don't realize that it's easy to lose track of which character is speaking when the writer drops the dialogue tags and keep making the characters speak. It doesn't help when the characters talk the same(using similar vocabulary during the conversation instead of words that would clue the reader in to which character is speaking)

Another dialogue issue Worm has is when one character would give a speech, talking for a while, and there would be different blocks of dialogue for the same character, as if two characters are having a conversation, when it's actually just one. This irritates me too. If you're going to make a single character speak for quite some time, try to add in some action or introspection between the dialogue instead of making there be a bunch of dialogue blocks as if two characters are conversing when it's just one.

Worm actually has a bunch of dialogue issues. Sometimes Wildbow would say "he smiled" or "he laughed" as dialogue tags, and other instances of using action for dialogue tags. It frustrates me. You can't laugh while speaking. And it's hard to speak and smile at the same time.

And there are a lot of instances when a period should be used instead of a comma. Like here:

He extended his hand to me, “Hey, I’m Brian.”

Fourthly, a lot of the narrators in Worm have the same analytical character voice. Like, they all think like extremely rational detectives in their respective narrations. This makes the narrators sound too similar to each other. They're too logical in their thoughts. It would be okay if one or two characters were like that, but pretty much every narrator in Worm has that extremely rational thinking process thing going on.

Fifth point. Sometimes the character descriptions don't make sense. Like when Tattletale is described as being between plain and pretty, with her being more pretty than not. WTF does that mean? Just say she's pretty. Jeez.

Sixth point. The Noelle situation and Tattletale's past are unnecessarily dragged out. So many arcs have passed, and we still don't know what the full details of Noelle's situation and what her issue is. And Wildbow is taking too long to reveal Tattletale's full past. He should have done it several chapters after Jack Slash wounded her face. That would have been a great time to have Tattletale go into depth about her background. Instead, Wildbow is peppering out the details at a snail's pace, as if Tattletale's backstory is going to be some extremely important thing. I already spoiled it for myself, and I can say that her past isn't important enough that its details needs to be sprinkled into the story so slowly. Why couldn't Wildbow reveal her whole history in one chapter, preferably not too long after Jack injured her?

...

That's everything that I wanted to bring up. Worm is a great web novel, and I'm enjoying it, but everything I detailed above is what I find frustrating about this serial.

[askinkiskarma]

Hi x i wanted to talk about something that has happened to me recently, because i feel like it needs to be addressed lol. I would have never considered talking about it if the person in question had had an ounce of maturity and respect, but she obviously doesn’t, and it’s my reputation on the line and my fault for expecting it hahahah.

So a few days ago, the whole Jake is Jacob debacle happened on tumblr, which to me was cute and harmless and fun. Now some people really feel the need to bring other people down and prove (to themselves only, let’s be honest) how “superior” and “intelligent” they are, so she started making fun and basically insulting the OP of the post, which really upset me. I didn’t say anything about it and quietly unfollowed the person, because if i find content I disagree with, that is (to me) the only way to approach the situation.

Anyway, later, i was made aware that she continued trash talking people in the fandom, continuing this tired narrative that despite being the one to initiate it, she was the “victim” bullied by “kids”, which i resented, for a couple of reasons.

1. Ageism is ageism no matter the form it comes in. It is no different to shit on a person just for being young and minding their business, than it is to do so with people who are older.

2. I’m tired of the “i was here first and therefore i am inherently better than you” stupid narrative. You don’t get a cookie cause you found something sooner, pls PLEASE understand that.

3. The “everyone is so young” bs is simply not true. I am the same age as her, so are some of my mooties or just a couple years older, and we’re all here, and we’re all trying to have a good time, and that’s what matters. None of us are out here flaunting our age or our maturity, because it is inconsequential.

4. Saying to someone that their “pre-frontal cortex” isn’t fully developed, is fucking ridiculous. What a stupid argument. You’re really going to insult someone for something they have reasonably absolutely no control over and try to use it as an insult against them? Girlie, in 2023? Do you understand how stupid that is? You think you’re superior cause your mum pushed you out a few years earlier like you had anything to do with it??? Like idk that is wild to me.

5. You can’t insult people on here for “being young and dumb” and how much “better” and “more mature” you are, and then in the same breath pick a fight with them and be willing to die on that hill. Because if you have any sort of common sense, that would imply that you must be succumbing to their levels and you are not capable of having any higher level discourse. Like how do you not see that that you're just proving to everyone how immature you truly are?

So, i wrote her an ask. Not on anon, not trying to start anything, just an ask telling her my opinion and telling her that as someone who is the same age as her, her behaviour is disappointing.

Now i need you to see the message because she won’t show it to you, because she wants to build this narrative that people are “harassing” her. Please note that nobody is “harassing” her. If i wanted to harass her, I could and I would not do it with my username intact. I wanted to her to understand the opinion (that i share with my friends and mooties) of someone who’s the same age as her. She won’t answer it because she knows there is no way to spin this in her favour.

Instead, what she can do, is what she does best. Trying to spin this negatively, insulting me and my writing (you’re 26 and the best you could come up with is “god awful cringey ass fics”? ouch, that hurt.) and tagging it “neteyam imagine” cause what person who wants to read neteyam fics doesn’t want to see that. Now again, she is blocked for me because I absolutely do not want to engage with people like her, but i was made aware of this and since she’s talking about me and could potentially come to people’s inboxes or dms and talking trash about me, i wanted you besties to know and to read everything and make your own minds about it, having all the information, not just what she deems appropriate to give you.

Anyway, sorry for this long ass rant, but it needed to be said. Please, if you don’t agree with someone, especially if it’s over something so incredibly trivial as a name, let it go. It’s not worth it. If it’s something not trivial, block. It’s not worth it. Insulting someone for things they have no control over doesn’t put you on top, it makes you a dick. Acting like you’re inherently better cause you’ve been in a fandom longer isn’t cool, trust me. Just please, save your energy and put it in your art, in your job, in your relationships, in yourself.

Now, i will go write my cringey ass fics 😉 good luck besties, and smooches.

ALSO!!! DO NOT engage with this person. PLEASE. Please do not prove her right. Please do not leave her anon hate or anything of the sort, please please please. It’s not worth it.

[sweet-s0rr0w]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much to @citrusses, @danpuff-ao3, @tackytigerfic, @maesterchill and @squintclover for tagging me in this! I loved reading your answers, which is what made me finally decide to do this one. I'm really awful at these, and I'm stuck in that endless blank early period of motherhood where my focus is so inwards, so survivalist, that I've lost all sense of popular songs/films/sport, which is a big part of why I don't generally do other 'about you' type posts. So I'm also tagging @elskanellis, @epitomereally, @mallstars, @oknowkiss and @thecouchsofa who recently tagged me in other posts to say thank you <3 and I appreciate you, and here, do this one if you like <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25, good grief

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

332,461!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Harry Potter. Can’t see that changing any time soon, but never say never. Meanwhile F1 will remain the One That Got Away!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Nor All That Glisters (111k, E, Drarry)

Kept in Cages (77k, E, Drarry)

Dreaming Skies (21k, E, Dron collab with @tackytigerfic)

When The Party's Over (5.4k, E, Drarry)

Among the Elements (8.3k, E, Drarry)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Embarrassingly enough, not usually. Basically, I got very overwhelmed last summer after writing Kept in Cages, because I pushed myself ridiculously hard to get it finished in time for Wireless (last fic in Wireless, but I made it!!) Combined with a lot of stress in my personal life, I then experienced massive burnout and had six months of complete writer’s block. Meanwhile, I got some really wonderful, brilliant, thoughtful comments on that fic, and I felt just awful and like a total fraud who couldn’t put a sentence together, and couldn’t bring myself to even respond. And now I don’t feel like I can reply to anything more recent until I’ve got through the old comments, etc etc. I guess I should just get over myself and crack on though, because I love getting comments and do really truly read and appreciate every single one.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I tend to give them at the very least a hopeful ending, so I had to look through my account to work this out, and I think this has to go to my weird tiny little dark fic Not Waving (M, 3k, Drarry).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

As above, I do like a happy ending, but rarely is it unqualified happiness. Kept in Cages, maybe, because I like that they’ve built a life away from everything, and that it’s something that they’ve each freely chosen. Or perhaps Silhouettes (E, 17k, Dronarry), which now I think about it does have a rare conveniently-packaged ending!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet! The odd lightly offensive bookmark rating, but nothing that especially bothers me. I got caught up in the top/bottom trolling early in my time in fandom, but that stuff was so ridiculous I just deleted the lot of it and didn’t think of it again.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write what I want to read, really, which (naturally) involves smut. I can’t do PWPs though; there’s a Tumblr post that says, like, ‘I’m going to write a quick PWP, the starting premise is that character A has lost their faith in god’, and this is kind of me. Sex in fic for me is a big part of relationship development, and so I usually slot in whatever works best for the characters from that point of view. I’m actually writing something right now that’s fast sexual burn/slow relationship burn, and it’s a very new dynamic for me, to try and take the feelings away (a bit, obviously they’re going to catch them sooner or later).

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t really enjoy reading them, so it doesn’t really enter my mind to try and write one. I suppose sports AUs are the exception to the rule – does that count? I haven’t written one, but I’ve read some I’ve adored (@sleepstxtic, @citrusses) and I could see myself having a go.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple, I think. Someone translated NATG to Brazilian Portuguese, all 111k of the thing (although looking now I think it might have been taken down!), and Nice I think got translated to Vietnamese.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, Dreaming Skies with @tackytigerfic. Dream come true, etc etc. I have to say, I’d absolutely be up for another collab with someone in the future (time/life/etc allowing, which is a big if for me).

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Drarry. Twenty-one years and counting!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh, I’d never say never! Good to always have something on the backburner, I say.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, I think. And I used to think pacing, but currently having a slight crisis about this in my latest fic, so get back to me! But yeah, dialogue; as I was saying to @fluxweeed the other day, sometimes I feel like I write my fics by just filling in the gaps between dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything that’s not dialogue! No, I’d say probably endings. I don’t think I’ve mastered the art of ending strong just yet. I’m too keen to satisfy readers, possibly, or maybe it’s the dialogue thing again, I want to end on a quip or something, and it never sits quite right. I should really start looking at what I think makes a good ending, I guess.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Fine? I mean, I wouldn’t personally do it using google translate or anything, because I’d have horrors that I’d accidentally end up insulting someone, but if I know the language a bit and/or have someone I can trust to help, that’s fine.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First and only, HP. I read HP back in the early 00s – a broad range of stuff, following the well-known authors (Cassie Clare, Maya, Rhysenn, Aja etc), but was always just a lurker, never part of fandom (was too nervous, and too busy with F1, which was a very niche fandom back then, consisting of about 30 of us and an unhealthy number of screenshots of Jarno Trulli’s backside after every race – I ran a fic archive and modded fests etc, but never wrote). Then when I got back into fandom, it was immediately HP, and immediately Drarry <3

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Don’t make me choose between my children!

Tagging: gosh, I think I've tagged enough people just in the course of my ramblings! Oh, maybe also @shealwaysreads, and @skeptiquewrites if you haven't done it, and the Aussie crew @moonflower-rose and @shiftylinguini, I'd love to know your answers if you have the inclination. Anyone who gets a tag for the post please feel free to do it and please do tag me with your responses <3

[stevethehairington]

nooo your tags on the keys post making me think of steve being Expressive in front of the others and one of them saying 'wow you've been hanging out with eddie too much' and eddie gets flustered because 'oh my god steve picked up one of MY behaviours <33'. people never talk about steddie taking after each other!!! oh my god!!!??

omg yessss!!!! that is one of my FAVORITE things, i LOVE it when they just spend so much time together and are around each other so much that they just start picking little things up from each other!! like what is love if not blending so seamlessly together that you just become one like that!! (i SWEAR i read a nice quote about this kind of thing once but i cannot for the life of me remember what it was lmao)

steve starts talking with his hands more because eddie is always gesticulating wildly and flailing his arms around when he speaks. eddie starts doing the patented Mom Pose because steve does it so much that it's just second nature to him now. steve starts scrunching his nose up like a little bunny rabbit when someone says something he doesn't like because he sees eddie do it all the time and thinks it's adorable. eddie starts using those ridiculous phrases like "hold your horses" and "let's rock and roll" and other things like that because steve says them so much and he's subconsciously adopted them into his vernacular too.

i L O V E when that happens!!!!

(honestly, i love it when it happens with all of the party, not just steddie! like 100% steve starts rambling more after spending so much time with robin!! and let's be real it isn't just eddie who does the Mom Pose now - they all do lol. and dustin starts stretching out his words in that dramatic way eddie always does. and and and-)

but yEAH. eddie getting soooo flustered the first time it gets pointed out that steve has started doing something that eddie does is SO GOOD. i can just see the way his eyes would go widewidewide and he'd try to like duck his head as a cute lil blush rose to his cheeks and he'd pull his hair over his mouth the way he does when he's shy about something. (and oh BOY if steve ever grew his hair long enough to be able to do that and he started doing that too, eddie would actually honest to god melt into the floor because that would be aDORABLE. and he would understand why it is steve's favorite thing to make eddie blush and hide behind his hair like that.)

it's even better if they aren't even together/haven't confessed their feelings/maybe even haven't realized their feelings yet either because oh man i can just imagine the Realizations that would stem from that kind of thing being pointed out - the taking after each other, but also the fact that they've been that attached at the hip lately for it to happen!! the way steve would be like oh, i guess i do do this thing that eddie does and WHY do i do it? and WHAT does that mean? and ohoho the spiral it could take him on there (a good spiral, a very very good spiral!! one that leads right to ~feeeeelings realizations~).

but also just eddie being like w o a h someone is copying me. he'd be so awed by that, especially given that this particular behavior - the gesticulating - is one that's probably gotten him in some trouble before (or at least has gotten him told off; he's heard plenty of "eddie, sit still!"s in his day). so to see someone else, someone he cares about so deeply, picking up that particular habit of his and like basically enjoying that part of him enough to emulate it, that just blows his mind!!!

[melrosing]

I understand u don’t want to continue this convo (bran and Arya are mean comment) that being said I also just wanted to thank you for being level headed? Like I started out a couple months ago full on AryaFan (0 social media for asoiaf before) and I followed like 5-10blogs that love her! I was excited but then they argued with ghosts in the tags “I keep seeing this awful take” and I just was like astounded they would use so much energy to argue and be like a reason to start disliking the fandom

ah I think tbh all of fandom has a tendency towards this and I won't even say I've never made that kind of 'i keep seeing this take' post before - when you know that a certain kind of take exists and you've seen it enough times, sometimes you're reminded of it and you want to explain your own opinion apropos nothing in particular, just to drown out that noise wherever it might be. like this definitely isn't unique to Arya fandom, and I'd say I've seen just about everyone I follow make one - again me included

but I do think it can get ridiculous when half ur blog is just fighting other users (or indeed invisible takes when other users aren't providing enough content to fight over), building some narrative that you're the most persecuted section of fandom and why is it that only you understand this character and that issue, and every time someone shares their opinion on your fave it's like they're stepping on your turf and you've got to come down on them like an anvil so they know who's in charge around here and it feels right and honourable when you're doing it but in reality you just look way too online.

BUT again this is a problem everywhere, I've blocked people in my own parts of fandom who I feel have too much of a tendency to constantly blog like this and I have talked to others about how we want to avoid falling into the same pit lol. it makes for a bad fandom ecosystem and like you say it discouraged you from enjoying fandom when you encountered it!

but also Arya is a great character and there are so many great Arya fans. some of the fanart and edits and meta on Arya is the best in fandom and really enrich my enjoyment for her POVs on rereads. I know the asoiaf tags can be a cesspit sometimes but I think the best thing you can do is just post the kind of stuff you want to see and you will draw others to your blog and you can encourage that kind of fandom culture amongst urselves.

[umbrellacam]

Ask Game

oh shoot I didn't get a notif for this - thanks so much for the tag @silverwhittlingknife! ♥♥♥

WIP Files Game

RULES: post the names of the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! tag as many people as you have WIPs

I don't have many proper WIPs that exist in files rather than just inside my head hghkldfs, but okay:

Baby!Tim meets Dick again (and again)

Tim is Jason's half-brother

the isekai AU

Tim wakes up from a coma and learns he was never Robin

Tim + villains = unhappy Dick

and also the separate game where you post an excerpt from one of your wips, so this is from 'Baby!Tim meets Dick again (and again)'

for context, Tim is 6 and Dick is 13 in this, and a few months before this scene, they 'met' again for the second time and had a memorable conversation. So this is technically their third coincidental meeting, at a museum that Tim is visiting with his parents.

“N-no, I’m fine,” Tim stammered, scrubbing at his face hastily. He couldn’t let Dick Grayson see him crying about something so silly! “I just, um. I lost my Mommy and Dad.” “You - what?” Dick Grayson said, and his voice was so strange that Tim risked a glance up at him. The taut, pale concern on the older boy’s face made Tim freeze up in instant horror. Oh no oh no oh no, so stupid! “I MEAN,” Tim shrilled, clawing his fingers into his cargo shorts in distress, “I dunno know where they went! That’s all! They’re fine! I think.” They just forgot me. I sat down, I told them ‘I need to sit down’, and they kept walking. They left me behind. Despite himself, he could feel his face reddening, tears starting to well back up. He looked down and wiped at his eyes again, sniffling as quiet as he could manage. “Oh!” he heard Dick say, sounding both relieved and sheepish. “You lost them - of course.” Dick kept talking, bright and determined, something about calling the front desk. Or going to the front desk? But his voice faded out somehow in Tim’s exhaustion. Tim pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and ducking down to hide his dumb leaky face. He was so tired he would rather die than move, even for Dick Grayson. And you were supposed to stay put when you were lost, right? That was good, because he ached to just lie down right here on the dirty floor and take a nap. But even more than that, he wanted to not be crying in front of Dick Grayson about having perfectly alive parents who just weren’t here right now, the moment he wanted them, like some sort of needy baby. He wanted to have not upset Dick Grayson by reminding him of the most horrible day of his life - for the second time - like some sort of - of - bad memory charm – “M’sorry, Dick,” he mumbled, rubbing his forehead too-hard against his knee. The pressure was somehow grounding against the awful tumbling knot in his chest. In his stomach? Somewhere unpleasant. Dick paused, mid-sentence. “Huh? For getting lost? Oh buddy, it happens to the best of us, believe you me.” Tim shrugged, an awkward roll of his shoulders while still curled up. “Ummmm. No? For um. For saying it like that. I know what it made you think.” “Oh. Oh, hey, hey…” Gentle fingers touched his hair, and Tim went still as a mouse. “No. You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Timmy. I’m the dummy who… Nevermind.” Dick laughed quietly. It was somehow just as good a laugh as the bright, bouncing one he’d given at the circus, before everything, even if it was a little sad. His fingers carded quick and light through Tim’s neatly combed hair - once, twice - enough to mess it up thoroughly before dropping down to settle on his back. “Don’t worry, Timmy. I’ll help you find your Mom and Dad. It’ll be okay, I promise.” His voice was so warm and steady; so was his hand on Tim’s back. And the horrible seething tangle in Tim’s stomach loosened, just like magic.

tagging (but only if you want to play, or have any WIPs for that matter!) @zahri-melitor, @alternis and anyone else who wants to play! I'm not entirely sure who else may be a writer who hasn't already been tagged for this by someone else🤔

edit: oop, just kidding, kept scrolling through my dash and I see you were tagged already Zahri! this is what I get for stepping away from tumblr for a week plus lol

[hazbincalifornia]

(I’m pretty sure the way I type is recognizable but I need to like pretend at anonymity bc I feel. Remarkably silly about this)

I wanted to like idk rant to someone in the HB fandom who isn’t balls deep in the “anti proship” sphere bc like, I’ve been struggling w guilt over enjoying a certain ship that everyone hates and considers problematic (I think Loona and Octavia is rlly cute!) and I’d like to make content for it but I also rlly fear being seen as like a pedophile. Do u ever worry abt that kind of thing? And is there anyway ur able to get over it if u do? I don’t like getting into anti/anti anti discourse bc I feel like it’s a very reductive way to view and interpret media but I still have a crazy amount of worry/guilt

First off, it is still ridiculous to me that this is even a problem in this fandom. This is an adult show about characters in Hell, and the main characters are, respectively, assassins and the eclectic cast of the Hotel which includes a cannibal serial killer. (I am eternally both amused and completely baffled that like half the awful puritanical takes I see are from Val icons. Buddy. Pal. The fucked up fiction is coming from inside the house.) I saw waaaaay more fucked up shit on Zim nsfw twitter than I see on Hellaverse twitter and that show was Y7. Up your game, guys.

Personally, I don't really see Loona and Via as siblings/sisters as much as I think a lot of others do, more just friends (and honestly I think canon moved much too quickly to give them such a heartfelt scene together, they hadn't even met officially before that point?) so it's really only the age thing and even then, the plot of HB has seemed to imply that a fair amount of time has passed since the series started, probably around a year- so Via would be 18 or older by the time anything actually started anyway, especially if they became friends first. Setting aside the 'justification' though... they're not real. They're cute together, I agree, and I think you should be perfectly fine enjoying them just in the lens of 'they're similar, I like how they'd interact, and I think they're cute together'!

I was pretty much forged in my opinions about this from Invader Zim stuff, where people insisted that liking two characters that I'd liked together since I was thirteen made you a pedophile. Obviously, I could tell that wasn't true, because it had never been the case in all those years up to people starting to be bitchy about it in 2019. (Before that, it was that it was bad because it was enemies to lovers and, more importantly, gay. Great hater throne to inherit, guys!)

Unfortunately... as stupid as it is, this fandom is way more puritanical than it should be, so it wouldn't be wrong to engage through anonymity to protect yourself. Find the people in the tag who are using 'proship/proship interact' or something along those lines (I've seen a few, although some tend to lean more on hard/dead dove content), post on ao3 into the anonymous collection which removes your name, make a tumblr sideblog that doesn't connect to your main, find fellow shippers and interact with them specifically. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe from people who can't understand that thinking something is cute or interesting to explore in fiction is automatically bad just because they don't like it. The more stuff that's put out there about the ship, the more likely you are to find kindred spirits, that's honestly part of how I gathered my mpreg weirdos to me in both this fandom and the last.

I'm pretty sure that the callout I got for Sunny was why several mutuals who were a friend group unfollowed (and likely muted) me on twitter. Unfortunately, it left me worrying that the other shoe was going to drop any day for about a week because it got just enough notes to make me worry but not enough to get to anyone with any real reach to spread and get it 'over with'.

At this point, I've sort of reached a state of 'fuck it', because if it happens, it happens. I know that I'm fine, and the people I genuinely care about know that too. I know that what I'm making is entirely separate from my morals as a person, if not from how dumb the IZ stuff was than from the fact that I was an English major. Literature is full of stuff that authors don't make as a 1:1 with their real-life morals! And the one you're thinking about isn't 'bad' comparatively at all.

I think the fandom is starting to see that being a dick about fictional content is bad through the backlash to Poison and 'hey, maybe telling somebody that they need to detail their trauma to the public to make fiction is bad?', but it seems to mostly be centered on dub/noncon, so I wouldn't necessarily hold my breath.

At the end of the day though, remember this: You, as a person, are completely fine, no matter what others might think. Octavia and Loona would probably be seen as a totally normal ship like ten years ago (except for people who'd be dicks about them being gay) and there is no judgement to be made on your character in any reasonable way for thinking they're a good ship. You're not a pedophile for thinking a fictional owl and hellhound look cute together, any more than I was for smacking together two Nicktoon characters, and frankly the IZ argument held slightly more water than 'the almost-18-year-old and the 22-year-old' because Zim's age was so ambigious. Try explaining this 'people think the young adult animals holding hands are bad' to any adult who isn't sucked into fandom discourse and they'd probably be baffled that it's a problem.

I know that the guilty feelings aren't always rational and it took a bit of time for me to unwind how I felt about creating certain stuff too, but try to remember that above all else- exploring things in fiction has been a thing people have done for a very, very long time. What matters is your actions towards other real people, not what you do with fictional dolls.

If nothing else, if you want you can always send me a dm and chat that way, I'd be happy to talk.

[bytedykes]

WIP tag game!!

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Tag as many people as you have WIPs!

tagged by @princess-of-purple-prose tysm kay!!<3 i havent written in a while so all my wip titles are old but lets see

kdj wakes up from coma. proceeds to start fights on twitter

mind reading but what if theyre awful about it

mutually orchestrated bed scarcity

that moment when ur abt to die and then realize that maybe a 23andme wouldve been a good idea

the incredible romance of running thru a busy LA street… NOT

what would demon duolingo even be called. devilingo question mark. iruma would like to know

these are all sooo old but i genuinely do not have anything more recent 😭 some are so old that i myself would love to know what theyre about. but alas

@kar-krashew giggles and twirls my hair. hiiiii <3. not tagging anyone else because i cant think of anyone but if anyone wants to do it u can say i tagged you :)

[chemicalbrew]

@elendsessor listen, I love your blog and the way you curate stuff!!! that comment was honestly self-defeatist on my part, and I'm sorry if it made you doubt yourself, you're one of my absolute favorite mutuals at the moment (even though we don't talk, your blog is so awesome!), and I was genuinely worried you'd not follow me back when you remade, wahhh (mostly because I barely post fandom lately, and all I do is lazily scroll my dash and scout the katana zero tag, and I am so self-conscious about how much i love kz these days... i gotta stop with that)

ANYWAY!! back to your original inquiry, at full force

9. worst part of canon

stealth levels in games that are not otherwise about stealth tend to be quite ruinous. off the top of my head, two examples I am forever a little salty about are Ghost Trick and Katana ZERO (though it's partially optional in the latter - I always opt to kill my way through the prison on replays)

For Ghost Trick, that's legitimately the only issue I have with it. For Katana ZERO, however... the ending stretch of the plot is somewhat poorly paced\unsatisfying compared to everything else + hard mode is genuinely unbalanced to the point where I actually gave up on it last month (but god, the itch to play more has not left)

SMT4: rapid-fire complaints from someone who hasn't played other SMTs yet: most of the plot after the Tokyo reveal felt weak, the game needed to be a little more obvious early on about how your choices matter, I wish Flynn had a bit more personality, just to match his companions, the Isabeau twist in particular sucks ass, Burroughs turning out to be a goddess sucks even more, App Point costs were unbalanced, they could have afforded to use multiple asset sets for Domains, I didn't like the prospect of endgame grinding.

I said Chrono Trigger is perfect, but that's only if you ignore what follows after (especially the tie-ins attempted in CTDS). I still do not have it in myself to wholeheartedly love Chrono Cross

Pyre is a wonderful game, but the second half of it was a huge drag and could stand to be less repetitive

Hades has an ending that basically ruins the rest of the plot and it's BAD. also, endgame grind is way too tedious and the progression system can break in places

Brandish 1: the remake doesn't have speed options like the original game did, Tower is a bland-looking stage with awkward music, boss music in this game is uninspired outside of HEADLESS Brandish 2: literally nothing important to the larger narrative happens in this game when you think about it, endgame is not fun and absolutely ridiculous (I get why, but this is truly old school game design at its worst), boss music still sucks (most of the OST outside of the opening hour is honestly weak), there's a different Tower and it sucks for different reasons (backtracking yay) Brandish 3: the fact that the translation isn't out yet (serious answer: this game, iirc, has more backtracking than the others. Sanctuary was a really gimmicky stage in particular) Brandish 4: for fuck's sake, who decided the Temple stage was acceptable? it's literally an assault on the senses

Trails series: awful with ships. awful. the main ship of the first arc of the series is a case of adopted incest lol there's some other really gross tropes like this all throughout and I really don't feel like reciting them right now, so... I'll list other stuff: the games weren't intended to have multiple difficulties, so playing on anything that's not Normal will suck in some way you have to be extraordinarily meticulous to 100% or use a guide as the series went on, it became easier to break the difficulty into pieces with how ridiculous skills get despite that, superbosses and scripted losses that you have to win to 100% are a tradition of the series and can be really annoying to deal with as the series went on, it also started using more modern anime tropes to appeal to more people and it UNFORTUNATELY has been working

Ys series: modern games suffer from trying to be more like Trails, which they shouldn't <3 end of story

Xenoblade 1: battle system as a whole was unrefined and unsatisfying, worst sidequests in the series, female party members are all suffering in some way (Sharla's arc was cliche and unsatisfying, she sucks to use, her design is awkward; Fiora's situation was not explored deeply enough and she got fridged; Melia suffers in the story so much it almost turns into comedy and suspends disbelief) the only antagonist that resonated with me was Zanza.

Xenoblade 2: (DLC fixes most of this) The obvious: there needed to be less titties; The obvious again: Tora's introduction sucks ass (and he doesn't get truly better ever :() AND Tiger! Tiger! can go fuck itself; The introduction in general is slow and is why I won't replay this even though it's a GOAT; I actually like the gacha being around (I got lucky and the only real trouble I had was getting KOS-MOS imo), but it should at least become infinitely more generous in NG+. AT LEAST THAT. The infamous roadblocks to 100% like Ursula's affinity chart; The UI issues that everyone harped enough on; The maps got so much worse in this game compared to 1 like? I had so much trouble navigating here compared to other XB games.

Xenoblade 3: (DLC fixes most of this) literally the worst antagonists in the series; not a great party either (RIP Sena); Noahmio was kinda boring for half the runtime; in general the messages made by the game are not interesting to me and did not resonate like 2 did; the class system ruins every good change made to battle system; chain attacks suck, and not just their music - they're worse than 1's; weakest soundtrack (same issue as Brandish 2, where it starts strong but as a whole is eh); probably the only XB game that I do not ever intend to actually finish, because it's such a slog somehow.

The only sin Kid Icarus Uprising committed was its control scheme. Might have been justified, but it sucks.

Ace Attorney has too many issues to count <3 I'll just mention that: The series as a whole sucks at guiding you when you get stuck Big Top sucks, we all know this AA6 ruined Athena and Apollo and has questionable setting\design choices AAI2's last case dragged on for too long even if it was hype

13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim's battle system as a whole really sucks if we're being honest, and nowhere is this shown off better than the final battle.

VA-11 Hall-A often goes overboard with humor, but its worst offense is the optional bullet hell minigame they put in

[cel-aerion]

Okay I feel like this is gonna get unwieldy if I try to send it as an ask so I'm just gonna tag @monty-glasses-roxy and start a new post (since reblogs with asks get weird, or at least they used to, and old habits die hard). Original post is here, but I'll also quote the relevant bits just for ease of reading.

"Yeah Chica being afraid of flying is really funny, especially if she's scared of literally nothing else. Not a single other thing has ever phased her but this one singular mode of transport makes her nervous."

"If we were meant to fly, we'd have wings." "Don't you technically have wings?" "Yeah and I can't fly with them so clearly evolution knew it had absolutely fucked up with that one."

"...they settle on meeting up at the local bowling alley that her brother (she calls Bonnie her brother) happens to run."

Others (Monty and Chica when they all meet up, yeah, but it's happened before and it will happen again) ask how a wolf and rabbit could be siblings. Bonnie eternally delights in giving absolutely ludicrous answers, usually involving an elaborate backstory and meandering plots. Roxy will too, sometimes, but she's more likely to just be annoyed at people for asking stupid questions - Monty and Chica are probably fine when they ask, because they're genuinely curious and want to know more about their new friend, but a lot of others are probably more judgemental or nosy about it. Anyways, the moment Bonnie knew he approved of Roxy's new friends was when he made up one of these explanations, as per, and Monty immediately replied with, "Oh, and here I thought maybe it was [insert equally lengthy and ridiculous explanation here]."

"And yeah, Roxy doesn't have a lot of friends so this was a shock to everyone that knew her lmao. "What do you mean you were dying on a plane and made two new friends??? What, did the Reaper and their wife take pity on you or what???""

"The Reaper" and "The Reaper's Wife" become Monty and Chica's nicknames as a result of this. Probably in that order. But possibly not.

"Actually, it would be kinda funny if none of them had a particularly large amount of friends and due to this one layover flight, their friendship group suddenly tripled in size."

I can see this being the case, but like, in different ways. Roxy is gruff, and awkward, and this combination probably makes those who don't know her think she's mean, or at least cold, so she mostly just withdraws instead of letting people see that she's upset about this perception, and over time she becomes hesitant to reach out to make friends because it's easier to not go through all that again, which of course just makes others thing she's even more distant, and it's a terrible cycle (and actually, maybe her being airsick unintentionally helped combat against this, because when you're feeling that awful, you're not really able to have any walls up, but I digress). And then on the other hand, I can see Chica being one of those... I don't want to say "popular girls," because that has a particular connotation, but like... she's one of those who's always friendly, she's pretty chill with a lot of people, she has friends she can hang out with for a day out shopping or something, but not Friends who she would feel comfortable spilling her guts out to or anything like that. And... unfortunatley I have no ideas for Monty at this moment, but you get the idea.

And slightly related, but I take back a bit of what I said in my original ask, or at least I'm changing the context: I don't think Roxy would be trying to play it cool when they meet in person just for the sake of her image. I think it's more likely she's just trying to not get her hopes up, what if this falls apart, what if she says the wrong thing, better to not get too emotionally invested until you're sure. But of course, as the outing goes on, that becomes less of a concern, and pretty soon she forgets to be anxious.

"Like, Monty and Chica clicked so fast and then all it takes is a little competition and almost getting kicked out of a bowling alley for bowling crimes for the pair of them to click with Roxy."

Not quite what's being said here, but it's sparked in me a mental image that while Monty and Chica are getting to know Roxy, and start to see that what they thought was indifference was just uncertainty and insecurities, they both independently come to the conclusion of "omg absolutely must protecc this puppy."

[ramrage]

God, I'm going to fucking kill myself i swear to fucking god. I don't know how I could've fucked my morning any more than I already fucking have. Here, let me detail to you how I am a fucking incompetent idiot:

Phone fucking shut off in the middle of the night so I get woken up an hour late. Shit's not turning on so I scramble to my laptop to tell my boss about the situation. This is perhaps the one thing that is not my fault, but tbh the list on such things starts and ends here

I decide that as it would lead me to being an hour late at least, it'd be better if I worked from home and so I let my boss know that my phone fucking shat itself and as such I'll be working from home lest I be terribly late. because that would be annoying right? well this was the wrong move, for anyone who is in a similar situation. he says something to the effect of "okay whatever you can work from home but not sure how a broken phone necessitates this"a nd like. whatever. fair. i could've. it wouldve been a bit more difficult since i have my train tickets on my phone but i could by more in person and then id be phoneless throughout the day and ideally id fix this shit asap but i dont have to

we're working on this post, which should've been entirely resolved and ready to go this morning, but i sent him the wrong copy for the post which we had discussed last night, so he was like wtf no dont you remember the change? and ugh. yes. i do. i did. belatedly. strike one.

then he wants to tag companies associated with the post except for one company. im fucking frazzled by my completely stupid fuck up and misread it as "tag companies associated with the post LIKE that one company" which struck me as odd since they're apparently weird about us posting about them. whatever. so i go through and list all the companies and send it his way to get an okay, but he's like. write out the company names properly. and this part is just a misunderstanding because the names will correct to the company's page name so it doesn't matter, but i guess he didn't know this which is fine and given my idiot fuckup not moments prior, a reasonable concern

i explain this, fine, and send him a screenshot of the drafted post with the tagged companies. including the one he said to not tag. fuck. now he's pissed like, i literally said to tag everyone /but/ them are you even paying attention. it would appear as if im not. what strike are we on now?

i correct that. he asks me to tag another company, which i do. turns out i didn't tag one of the /other/ companies that i had sent in the shorthand list and now he's fucking PISSED sending in all caps that i need to proof my work and that this post shouldn't be taking 30 minutes. absolutely correct, sir, it should not. i don't even know what to tell you at this point.

like holy shit. this was fucking brutal. i dont think i have ever been so fucking off my shit, and it was fucking THING after THING you would assume that after the first gaff, i'd be extra sensitive to making my list and checking it several fucking times over, but im just, fucking frazzled and i know we wanted this up before the start of the work day ideally so I'm rushing, and i already fucked up with the whole going in thing, which i honestly dont do much because i am scheduled to come in only twice a week and have somehow been managing to get sick on those days and i feel fucking awful that it looks like im probably playing hookie and shit because come on most people hardly miss work and they're there more often i just.

i used to be able to believe in my capabilities, at least a little bit, but im fucking up this ridiculously easy shit like what the hell. and its not in ways that seem to be entirely out of character for me. like, am i always going to be this fucking way? no. i dont have to be. i could put in the two fucking ounces of effort to get better, to improve myself, but i don't. for example, instead of making up shit to do, im writing this fucking sob story about something that probably doesnt even fucking matter that much and definitely isn't a big issue compared to the quotidien horrid shit people encounter.

an aside, as an honest assessment, i don't have much to do at this job which i guess is nice, but it makes me feel so useless and unnecessary. part of the reason i was more eager to just, work from home. obviously it's more comfortable for me, but i feel like im wasting my time and everyone's time and their water and tea and whatever, because im just taking up space and at least i dont have to pretend im busy if im home and i can get food and not be hunger braindead like i am when im there because im too normally-braindead to leave and get fucking food. like an idiot.

i need to get a new fucking job. i can't fucking come in next week (again, only work two days a week because this is a fucking pity job that i only landed because my dad likes networking, like a sociopath) like how do i face fucking anyone. just sit there like a stupid little bimbo looking nepo pity hire, the fucking child in the kitchen that you allow to tear bread into breadcrumbs because it's fine if they fuck it up, which they will, but it's something you can deal with because it doesn't fucking matter anyhow.

i feel like such a burden despite just sitting there. i am so fucking embarrassed and pissed i fucking. ugh. i

[uefb]

I posted 158 times in 2022

That's 158 more posts than 2021!

61 posts created (39%)

97 posts reblogged (61%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@afrenchaugurey

@unnamedelement

@uefb

@nifflersgelt

@katisfania

I tagged 158 of my posts in 2022

#newt scamander - 111 posts

#fantastic beasts and where to find them - 60 posts

#autistic newt scamander - 56 posts

#my stuff - 56 posts

#tina goldstein - 49 posts

#newtina - 31 posts

#theseus scamander - 30 posts

#fantastic beasts fanfic - 30 posts

#fic: with its head under one wing - 26 posts

#fantastic beasts - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#also i have so much in my brain abt interwar history rn that no one understands my jokes rn bc they’re referencing events that are 90 year s

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hello, Wizarding World fandom -

if this isn’t appropriate for every single war and relationship in your brain, then I don’t know what will be. Currently tearing up about Newt & Tina it’s fine

My knuckles were bruised like violets

Sucker punching walls

Cursed you as I sleep talked

Spineless in my tomb of silence

Tore your banners down

Took the battle underground

And maybe it was egos swinging

See the full post

25 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

#4

Jacob Kowalski doesn’t need magic to make chaos:

There is absolutely some reality out there in which Jacob shows up to a friends&family holiday party grinning like a loon, thinking he is THE funniest person in the world as he watches Newt and Bunty unwrap these: 

Newt blinks.

Bunty snorts a giggle.

Tina takes it upon herself to correct the punctuation while Queenie charms the words a brilliantly glittering gold—

At which the niffler in the depth’s of Newt’s pocket sniffs and leaps: 

It shatters a mug and tips over the menorah, setting the Christmas tree on fire in one chaotic swoop

See the full post

30 notes - Posted December 13, 2022

#3

Newt Scamander and Stimming: One of many possible examples

Not me watching clips of these movies over and over and over again because I’ve never seen someone who moves quite like me (and isn’t a manic pixie dream girl) represented in media.

Sorry, I couldn’t get it to download with captions. You can watch it with captions at this link.

32 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

#2

I will die on the “Theseus & Newt actually love each other dearly they’re just wildly different people” hill. (Or, rather, they are similar people whose “means to the ends” just look very different.)

So have some adorable 8-year-old Newt and 16-year-old Theseus.

Also this is unedited forgive me the excessively long sentences

39 notes - Posted December 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Headcanon: Why do I feel like this sums up Theseus and Newt’s entire relationship / their entire family all the way back through childhood?

Blue screenshot from unposted chapter of fic x

Like…

Age 6: Newt’s dissection of a horklump is so precise his mum sends off his sketches and notes to the Hogwarts library and theseus doesn’t find out until the next spring when he’s scouring the stacks for a diagram for his Care of Magical Creatures final

Age 8: Newt’s mum puts him in Muggle primary school to help him learn social skills but the kids are boring and awful so Newt starts accidentally magicking himself into the woods outside the school for 2 weeks straight and just walks back to the yard for pick-up in the afternoons. Doesn’t tell anyone until the Ministry shows up at their house to ask his parents if they know their son’s been performing complex underage magic

Age 10: Newt gets bitten by a ridiculous number of doxies while investigating an infestation and his parents only find out when he passes out at the dinner table and Theseus only finds out when he comes home for Easter and asks his brother why his arm looks so lumpy and why he has a children’s ward hospital bracelet

Age 13: Leta bullies Newt into trying out for the Hufflepuff house team in September because they’re down players and he’s absurdly fearless when it comes to flying, and then he’s on the team for a full year, but his family only finds out when the Prophet covers the final matches of the Inter-house Cup in May, and Newt immediately quits after the final game (“it was cutting into my forest time!”), much to his brother’s chagrin

Age 14: Newt gets a school-wide award for an herbology essay on the scientific and magical distinctions between plant and animal characteristics in semi-sentient plants like venomous tentacula and devil’s snare and his family literally doesn’t find out until his expulsion hearing (but his mum still puts the award up on the wall anyway)

Age 16: Relatedly - Newt gets rather dramatically expelled but Theseus only finds out two days later when he runs into Newt in the DMLE corridor on his way to his hearing, because poor communication runs in the family and their father forgot to tell Theseus where he went Tuesday night after that barrage of Hogwarts owls showed up at 10PM

I could go on

why is this so funny to me

53 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

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