#I THOUGT WE WERE IN FOR A FUN TImE

[avaize]

EVER CRISIS HALLOWEEN EVENT JUMPSCARE

[bambi-kinos]

After reading your view on John's treatment of Paul, I have to ask if you also have thougts on what happend between George and Paul during and after post Beatles. We know how they both treated him as the younger brother and how he tought they were to busy being John and Paul so they failed to see him though other artist saw him etc. We can also understand how he back away from John and Yoko. But what was his problems with Paul? Paul played on more George-Beatle songs than John did and George even played on John's solo record but said he would never play in a band with Paul again. Because there still seem to that he had another issue with Paul and there still seem to be tensions between them during the Anthology. Did Paul really deserved to be treated like that by both John and George. George went on a lot about his faith and spiritual seaching but not really lived up to it all the time. He played a lot about how unhappy he was in the Beatles and being famous buthe lived large with his cars and big house etc. I'm not defending Paul, well I do, but they both treated him so badly. Why, do you have any more ideas about that. Or what other artists, like ex Wings members etc who also complained about Paul's ways. I only ever see it as jealousy.

Legit had no idea how to answer this as George's dynamic with the rest of the band is opaque to me. I put the question to the McLennon server and they provided some very good answers, they have given me permission to copypaste it all here. I hope this helps Anon.

Note: I let the others talk and then I used Discord's "reply" function liberally to @ the different paragraphs. For tumblr I have rearranged the posts so that they read in order as full conversations instead of the weird mishmash that Discord produces. When you see weird timestamps, that is why.

***

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 11:00 AM received an interesting ask from an anon, its very long so i'm just copy pasting

ask

What do we think of this? my take is basically that George resented Paul because he replaced George with John and their relationship never recovered, which snowballed into these bigger issues about George's contributions to the Beatles and his growth as an artist.

I think it was amoralto who pointed out that Paul was safer for George to attack because Paul would forgive him whereas with John that wasn't the case. and yet George was able to cut John off later so what gives?

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:43 PM I think there's a lot to this dynamic that we're not privvy too. What we do know, however, are things like how during the white album sessions, Paul was constantly undermining George's suggestions. I think it was George Martin who said that. We can even see it a bit in Get Back.

On top of that, even to this day, Paul calls George his little brother in interviews. He has always viewed George as the little kid of the group and that would feel incredibly patronising and demoralising. Paul is a lot more wired that John, and I think that personality trait is just something that George stuggles with. John is the 'cool/fun parent'.

I know John also viewed George as the little kid. And I think this hurt George less because 1. John WAS that older kid/parental figure for so long. 2. You can't take what John was as seriously because he changes his mind day-to-day. 3. I think George honestly (probably) secretly respected Paul's opinion more. So Paul's remarks hurt more.

John = The deadbeat Disney dad. Paul = The more serious and caring/overbearing parent You can see how he would grow to resent Paul more. And I think he also blamed Paul for the breakup too. Or at least, how messy all of that was and all the horrible legal issues that came with it

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:06 PM this one hurts. oof. when I read about the break up in excerpts I get the feeling that George thought Paul's problem was the money and the business decisions and he didn't consider (or didn't want to consider) what was driving it emotionally….after all he felt like Paul didn't consider his feelings 😬

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:52 PM Anthology is interesting though. I really think George's attitude in that it partly because he needed to do it. He needed the money. I don't think he really wanted to do it. It was Paul's baby, and he also resented him for that. Hated Paul for being more comfortable financially too. Paul didn't need to do anthology. George did.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 1:53 PM genius, you're absolutely right

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:08 PM this was also around the time that Paul's sweet new deal with Capitol became a thing, i think, because Capitol offered like a significant profit increase for Paul on Beatles royalties if he signed his next few solo albums with them. That caused a lot of upset with George and Ringo iirc, so damn :(

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:55 PM (Also, Paul in a few interviews, has said that he was on good terms with John when he died - UNLIKE George. Almost rubbing it in George's face. I know he doesn't mean it. But I would be incredibly upset by that in George's position. To be constantly reminded of that.)

I think its funny that Paul is viewed as the PR savvy Beatles cause he puts his foot in his mouth all the time haha That actually might be why he's more reserved in interviews now. Sticking to a script… Who knows!

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:19 PM Ha, god, probably. Paul has his moments, there's a good 80s interview where he bemoaned Frank Sinatra attributing a George song to maccalennon, but he doesn't seem to have been humbled until the Heather Mills circus.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 1:57 PM In one of the AKOM podcasts they mentioned a George quote about how he was the closest beatle to John back when it was only them 2 taking LSD… it's my personal theory than in those months he almost felt like he was finally taking over Paul's spot in John's life…I dunno, I get very competitive vibes from George. In his mind he was competing for John with Paul. At least in certain points. And I think John took advantage of that.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:20 PM Absolutely. Reminds me of, ha, Paul when he said that John was their personal Elvis. They all wanted his attention and approval. I also wonder if George was seeking a mentor somewhere and if he thought John was it since they dropped together.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 2:01 PM It's very complex, the Paul-George dynamic

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:02 PM Paul is the one who's always looking for a "project" and can't turn off, being with him must have been exhausting and then you add being talked down to all the time. whereas John can be fun and turn himself off and then maybe the sting of being talked down to isn't so bad. And like we saw in Get Back when John said "we need George Harrison" because he realized George was looking for reassurance, so he could also build George up when he felt like he should.

I guess with John its more like "lots of fun with a few pointed barbs thrown in" whereas with Paul he's steamrollering you constantly and will only occasionally throw in a compliment.

maybe since Paul is more consistent, it meant more to earn his respect? or something like that, like Vanessa pointed out George was competitive for John's approval and attention.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:12 PM there's this consistent theme with George and Paul where Paul's closeness with John seems to really hurt and damage George. And its not like he could let it go easily either because Paul was also his teammate, not just John's. It was a quad act, not a double.

I think George said that being outside Lennon/Mccartney meant observing Beatlemania as a fan instead of as a bandmate. So he's getting all the trouble but very few of the benefits. And then there's the royalty issues on top of that.

Like, Paul was George's friend first, but then Paul pulped that friendship pretty much immediately when he saw John and never felt like he should do anything to fix it. And then George gets pulled into Beatlemania and then there's money problems and then Brian died.

Brian was George's big advocate I noticed, setting up a newspaper column in George's name (ghostwritten by someone else) because he wanted George to be his own brand outside the Beatles and maccalennon, so when he died a lot of that probably went down the drain too.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:23 PM George seems to have been very lonely in the Beatles but due to all this:

I know John also viewed George as the little kid. And I think this hurt George less because 1. John WAS that older kid/parental figure for so long. 2. You can't take what John was as seriously because he changes his mind day-to-day. 3. I think George honestly (probably) secretly respected Paul's opinion more. So Paul's remarks hurt more.

I guess it was easier to shift some blame onto Paul. A lot of George's spiritual journey appears to be about wanting to escape like when he sings about wanting to see God but being frustrated at how long it will take him. Its real but it also seems like he was pretty weary of life by his mid20s.

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 2:40 PM Yeah, you're so right. John was also the other Beatle who was more spiritually inclined. He was the only one besides George who was fully committed to the India trip. (At least for a time.) This was probably something they bonded over too.

There's also that quote… I can't remember what interview it's from. But George was asked what it was like being a Beatle and he says he doesn't really know. He always felt like he was on the outside looking in on Lennon/McCartney. It must've felt like a very lonely place.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 2:40 PM I'm fascinated by J&P but I give George a lot of credit for putting up with them both for so long. I would've cut them out of my life so fast 😂

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 4:05 PM honestly they ruined George's life in some ways!

[flemlem]

thougts about the creation stream [21.02.24] because i finally have them in order. Im going to try to keep this as factual as possible, but there may be some bits that I cant Not Be - also, this is going to be pretty damn long, i have many things to say and Im putting them all here, I'll try put all the opinions / heavy speculation at the end :>. Also sorry if it feels disjointed in places, I got real busy 2/3 of the way through and had to leave it for a while, so im not sure if i got all the points hit that i wanted to. (there should be a read more cause when i say long i mean Really Fucking Long but idk)

so first off, all the aliases that creation uses for other people (that I can find or reasonably assume).

Sunny (loved shell) rank 1

Chayanne (duck shell) rank 2

Tallulah (trauma shell) - rank 3

Empanada (pancake shell) - rank 4

Richarlyson - Rank 7

Tubbo - Primary Protector, Creator, Boss (unsure but will explain)

? - Centre Control

Philza - Guardian

Cellbit - Guardian (unsure)

Bagi - (slow) keeper

Niki - Keeper

mostly facts [though there are some interpretations and such]

tubbo is Really Really old. This is backed up by Many things, most on the stream, though a couple not. When creation is talking to chayanne in the ruins he says that tubbo created him a 'long long time ago'. The sheer amount of time is Also backed up by the fact that creation says he 'miss when this place was not ruins', did you see the state of those ruins? there were a few stacks of blocks left over on the tips of mountains that have virtually nothing distinct about them, the only descriptor used for all the blocks is also that they are ancient, so like-. The place has Lava surrounding it. In general just the state of the place kinda shows just how old it is. Though some fun things about qTubbo's age is that he Knows how old he is, or at least that he had been around for a long time. Going back to Fits birthday party when he says he's been dead for a long time. He is aware that he's been around a long time, though he doesnt add that to his age. In the message to Sunny he says that he's 20, not like, 70903405803. Just 20. cc!tubbo also confirmed on his alt stream later that qTubbo was infact 20 years old. He did also say that 'how long he's been around is another question' and then told people they were digging too far when they then asked how long qtubbo had been around for. He did however also say that 'his [qtubbo's] age stagnated when he was frozen' so qtubbo had to of been 19 when he got frozen [cause the 20th birthday was celebrated when tubbo was on the server].

Something that I have no clue about is exactly the connotations that are around it telling Chayanne that tubbo 'made me for you'. Creation also says something similar to Sunny at some other point in the stream. This is?? really confusing to me??? because it's heavily implied that Creation was created Before Tubbo was frozen. This could imply that Tubbo has re-programmed Creation at some point since being defrosted. Though the main running thing throughout Creations involvement has been that Tubbo Cannot Know About Creation At Any Cost. Originally it was Creation would die if Tubbo [Creator, specifically] knew. Then after Tubbo died it changed to Tubbo [Primary Protector, specifically] would die if he knew about Creation. Though then we get to something else that challenges this thought. During the recording shown at both the start and end of the stream Tubbo says that the message can only be unlocked by 2 people and that he never wants sunny to have to meet them. Obviously one of these people is Creation, as Creation mentioned on phils [and others] streams later the day that tubbo died that Creation had a message that could only be shown to sunny if Tubbo died, so this leaves 2 options for how this worked[that I can think of]. Either there was a moment in time, it had to of been after sunny was in tubbos care, in which he knew about Creation and Neither of them died. Or one of the people that could access the message passed it onto creation and tubbo was never aware of Creation.

Creation mentions 'The Old Order' as well, specifically that Creation misses the old order. The main question is about, what is the actual title of it? is it 'The Old Order', the 'Old Order' or the old 'Order'. If the title is just 'Order' and old is a descriptor then we could reasonably assume that it was a historical part of the current Order, though does Creation know about the current Order? Im unsure. If its either of the other ones then it's just a Title. Simply what the group is called. Not much is mentioned about the old order, other than that tubbo was at least associated with it, or they, somehow, stole Creation from him. It is also implied that they were at least where the ruins were, maybe all over the island, mainly from Creation saying that it misses the old order around when it mentions when the building wasnt ruins. Going off the block descriptions, this ruin is a ruin because of a 'past calamity'. Nothing else really mentioned about the calamity, just that that is why its ruins now.

The Operation is only mentioned a few times. It's never stated exactly what 'the operation' is. We know that the operation is something akin to a mission because when Tubbo first mentions it, in the 'if I died, last resort' recording, he says thats he never would of signed up for 'this scheme, this... operation if you will'. If he didn't say scheme before than it could of been, well, anything really, but the word scheme has some specific connotations that at the very least rules out some possibilities. After this first mention it is only referred to as 'the operation' [as far as I can find]. Creation does talk about it several times though. Something that it says is that it was a last effort to 'hold on' before Tubbo joined the operation. This implies that creation was made Before tubbo joined the operation. In the same last resort recording Tubbo does specifically say 'I would not have signed up for something like this'. He Signed Up to take part in whatever operation they are referring to. There is the implication that he signed up for this specifically because he didnt have Anything to care about before he signed up for it. He had nothing to live for, no... Purpose one may say?[side eye emoji]

okay so, the data. This is... something. In the description of the item it says that it was made by tubbo, the main thing is, When? We can glean a few things about this data from the stream [and a couple other places]. Going further into the description of the item. It says that it tracks Tubbo's vitals, statistics and locations. Going slightly out of this stream, this could be heavily why tubbo is Wrong. It doesn't say that it has his feelings or personality. Another thing to do with that is that tubbo did at Some Point send a chat that said that the data was incomplete/something along those lines[dont ask me when, I dont remeber, im pretty sure theres a screenie floating around in one of the tubbo tags tho]. Something that I find kind of weird is when Creation tells sunny that Creation cant promise that Tubbo will come back the same. The way its phrased could mean 2 things in my opinion. The first one being that Creation simply Does Not Know what is contained in the data. Creation does not know how much of Tubbo is in there, when it was made, if it's been damaged, if its been Tampered With. Or something that I think is almost as plausible, Creation phrases it that way because Creation is talking to a Child. One of Creations main purposes seems to be protecting the Eggs, both physically and emtionally [see: Creation hugging Sunny after Tubbo died] so maybe Creation was trying to break it to Sunny as gently as possible. Not straight up say 'Your dad is going to be Different' but just, something small to prepare them for it, so that Sunny isn't blind sided by the change. The data was also in Central Control's possession. When they have to go grab the data creation specifically says that 'Central Control has delivered it'. So Some How, CC got the data. This also raises some questions about the password on the chest the data was in. Why was it Sunny's adoption day? Did Tubbo make the box and CC can just teleport things into it at will but not change the password?

What exactly Is Creations purpose? We are told that it has something to do with protecting the eggs, but also not Entierly revolving around them. We are told that tubbo created it for chayanne and sunny, we can reasonably asume that its not just for them but All the eggs. But creation shuts down after guiding the construction of the revival machine, saying that its purpose is finished. But that has nothing to do with the eggs? This doesnt fit with the rest of the pieces we have on the board to me because it was called the First Video Log. Why call it the first if there was never going to be a second? Surely if Creations only purpose was to resurrect tubbo then it would of known that it was going to die. And also just protecting the eggs cant be its only purpose because then it wouldnt of said that it could shut down because its purpose wouldnt of been complete? Its purpose Never would of been complete until all the eggs were dead? This confuses the fuck outta me. Though something about its purpose does seem to be that it is to learn. It comes off very naieve about the world at large, though it trusts sunny when they tell it that the boat will keep the water away. It seems in awe of most things around it, or surprised or dismissive. saying 'woah' when looking at the station . Saying 'oh my god' when the creeper explodes. it says 'I did this for you [boss]' after saying that it was learning fast. Learning seems to have a lot to do with it's purpose. Tubbo says, in the Alt stream later that 'It's [creation] just a little guy... mainly copying, trying to fit in to not like, fail it's purpose' We could take this as learning to fit in being its purpose, Or the more obvious one being that its purpose relies heavily on being able to fit in. Is that so that the eggs and parents trust it to care for the eggs? or does it have something to do with the old order?

Now we get more into theory and heavy interpretation area, so buckle up {a lot of this next bit is half baked thoughts that I cant connect to anything else, so, yeah}

Something about Tubbo's character specifically, kind of related to his age? though more so to do with What The Ever Loving Fuck his character IS. So. QTubbo has been around for A While, that we know, we Also know that hes been dead for a long time as well. We know that hes not a robot, curtesy of Creation's 'not like a robot, no'. Though, where does that then leave him. He can still be restored, he can be shut down and he's been dead for a long time. And yes, specifically dead. Why? because when talking about Creation tubbo says that it was never alive in the first place so 'not dead, no', whenever qTubbo is talked about, the word 'Dead' is Always used. Never anything else, so he Was alive At Some Point. Though then theres the question of How The EverLoving Fuck Can He Die If He Is Already Dead???? idfk

Okay so, next thing. I fully think that the calamity has something to do with how tubbo got frozen. Whether the calamity has something to do with Why creation was created in the first place, if said calamity has something to do with the reason why creation was a last attempt to hold on. it could also be something to do with the reason why tubbo was frozen. If its less so a punishment and more so something along the lines of recuperation, then maybe he got hurt. Or it could be something to do with 'The Operation', Im just kind of spit balling at this point. Maybe the calamity wasnt natural. maybe the operation was some kind of last ditch effort to go against some All Powerful being or group.

SO explaining the thing about putting 'Boss' in Tubbos list of alias'. This is Very Heavily how IM interpretating this. When they are collecting the blocks in the ruins, there are a couple times that Creation goes in F5 and starts talking, staring directly into the 'camera'. During this he says 'Boss I am learning fast, see how well I'm doing. I did this for you.' and 'Boss one day I hope you will remember me'. This is heavily off of that second one. 'I hope you will remember me one day'. Sure, 'boss' could be near anyone, Infact there is a high chance that 'boss' is Central control. But just. hear me out [which i hope youre doing if youve read this far down]. Who else could Creation reasonably label 'boss'? Who do we Know does not remember creation? Tubbo Created creation, and has subsequently forgotten about creation, whether thats of his own volition, for his safety or some other reason, I dunno, but I think its got legs.

[writingforatwistedworld]

I said I was going to do it.

How would Floyd/Jade/Azul court the player ? 👀

(For your own sake I REALLY advise you to go the fantasy anime way Veil. I swear it's for your own good.)

Yes! THE ANIME WAY! Not some research which made me go “oh God no. Tumble will ban me if I follow this!” like last time. (It was fun anyway though.) I do take tiny bits of real-life stuff which isn't that bad into this. For octupus only thougt. Eel is a bit too funky.

In Floyds part a very abusive relationship is being described. Please only read it if you feel 100% comfortable with that kind of relationship. I'm not joking, usually I'm not going so dark but this is a bit much. Maybe I'm just oversensitive but it feels like the darkest content I have written so far.

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, abusive relationships, unhealthy relationship, manipulation, violence, isolation, obsession, kidnapping, obsession, obsessive behavior, possession behavior, possessiveness

Azul Ashengrotto/Jade Leech /Floyd Leech-Him courting you

Female Octopuses can be quite aggressive, did you know that?

So I imagine male octopus merpeople being on the rather holding-back-side-and-try-not-to-agitate side of things

So... How does this show?

First of all, you might not even realize that he likes you more than just a businessman buttering up his client

Oh no, he is getting shy

Not that you would notice that but pshhhh

The only reason why he doesn't stay still is because of the other two underwater menaces (this description was used for comical description. Writingforatwistedworld doesn't mean to offend anyone)

Jade and Floyd are his best friends but also his worst enemies

So here he is, afraid of getting beaten up... he has seen it many times in the octopus society....

But then you are so sweet! Always answering him so patiently and kind!

If he wasn't sure if you were the right one for him before (the audacity!) then he would be sure now

And... *sigh* dear, say goodbye to these legs...

I really don't want to be in your skin after that... not only were you thrown into a completely different world but now you also become a completely different kind of being....

All I can say is, good luck! At least you won't freeze in water anymore even if it's very cold! Yay?

You being kind to him is a signal to Azul which says “they like me!”

Has already made plans how the wedding should look like (I'm not kidding)

How do you dance the waltz without legs?

But don't you worry

Even before he... proposes? (I'm not even sure if I should call this kidnapping or a step towards a shared future... probably kidnapping) He already takes great care of you

Oh, put that piece of bread down. He has prepared a whole huge lunchbox just for you!

Your jacket has a hole! Take this one and give him your old one. What happens with it? On he will take care of it. (Aka make it part of his little collection consisting of stuff of you)

He is the ideal package so what do you mean that he can be creepy?

Ok him looking at you all across the sports field is kinda weird... how does he see so good with glasses??!

But look at that lunchbox! It has been made with so much love! And it's also not poisoned or tampered with in any other way! (Rereading this I just realized how sad this sounds...)

Tentacle hugs! Just tentacle hugs! You get me, right??!

He is one of those “I take care of them until they can't say no to me anymore” kind of people

Maybe a uses a huge amount a little bit of manipulation

That one person you have been talking with since the moment you got here? Nah, they aren't distancing themselves! They are just getting shy!

He becomes everything in your world

But at least you are taken care of

His job is one involving a lot of paperwork, right? So you can truly lie around and do nothing. He is the one working and doing the household chores! (He has tentacles, remember that!)

What an attentive guy!

First of all, we know that he likes to manipulate, right?

So don't expect to be spared from that

I imagine eels also being a bit more aggressive and forward so... yeah

Good luck! I believe in you!

So how do things start?

In true Jade fashion, what else?

At first you were just that famous scholar that everybody loved, him included

So he tried his best in making himself stand out in your memory

That kind merman who sits besides you in history? Oh yeah! He also brings cookies sometimes!

Mostro Louge drinks are also always free for you

Yay! A few more Thaumarks left to fix that roof!

But then you are... You (?) and things go even further south (yes they were already going south before, you just didn't notice)

Jade always thought that you would be that haughty person, not caring about a single soul in the world

And that was fine for him. With great power there comes that ego-boost after all

But them you were nothing like that, his dear sweet human....

Now that manipulation part really starts

That one student you were talking to right now? Oh no... no it's nothing but... he had been talking about you behind his back...

Of course they would never actually dare to do that but you know Jade

Cutting everyone else off is his highest priority

So once you can only depend on him he can do with you whatever he wants

Azul surely owes him a thing or two... he has a pretty interesting flasks with certain potions in his room...

If you guessed a potion which would turn you into some sort if merperson then yes, that also

If his plan doesn't work that other flask can be pretty handy... there is a reason why people steer clean of love potions, just saying

So let's say you trust him fully at this point, whether due to love potion or not, he will try to make you get used to the sea

He remembers being like a fish on land (got it??! Got it??! Ok sry... moving on...) the first time he used his legs

So at least being as much as possible in the sea should help you (in his mind at least)

So yeah, once you are down there there is no way to escape from him anymore

You had the advantage on land but now you are in the depths of the sea

So why not just cozy up and hand your very being, identity and personality over to him? There is no way out anyway...

He is more on the physical side than his brother

He won't hurt you though... much

But don't you worry, you will survive it, at worst only partially you behave badly

So one day, Diasomnia went monkey

Imagine! The great Overseer has descended!

Or in his mind, the only historical figure he actually liked because of them being able to fight back and not getting beat whilst doing that (we remember Ursula, may she rest in peace and her brother be cursed)

Floyd creeped out other kids not only by being himself (he is kinda a oddball, admit it) but also whilst talking about the Overseer

He is that one person in history class we all know and notice simply because of their knowledge about history

But surprise surprise! He is only so hyper-fixated on you!

So now that we know when things started, lets continue

Admiration grew into something that shouldn't be and now you have someone who beats students left and right the second they look at you up

The outcome isn't so different from what Floyd tries to achieve, only acquired with violence

But things on your part haven't turned bitter at this point

Just a bit sour... like lemonade or lemon pie (or what ever is out there that tastes lemony)

Remember, he isolates you by beating people up

Once you are like that, *sigh* try to keep him happy, ok?

After all, if you aren't like the one he expects you to be he just needs to bend you until you finally are

You... get what I mean, right?

So smile dear! Smile so can be somewhat happy as well!

Floyd doesn't need potions or to kidnap you into the deepest depths of the sea to keep you with him

Fear is a strong thing, you know?

And you know, they always say “I can change them for the better!”

No you can't sweety, leave them immediately

I would like to tell you that things get better but no

Even if you behave like he wants there is still that feeling that something is very wrong

At least you hadn't realized this with Azul and Jade

The only way to actually escape this is to accept Malleus proposal and become his partner

Floyd can't fight against an entire kingdom

This is a doomed relationship (I'm sorry Floyd fans)

I can't even do this last sentence thingy this is so horrible please get help if you are in such a relationship or if yours reminds you of this one!

[popchoc]

Grey's 20x05

Not the most interesting ep, though it had its moments.

I liked the story with Jules and Winston; she's growing on me this season and he's indeed much more likable when not grumpy, so he'd better be over that now. Mika had some good moments as well (poor girl really can't catch a break, can she 🤭), plus I like that her story with Taryn is lifting off. For now I just assume that Taryn is simply scared to be seen as giving favors, and thus doing the complete opposite, which they'll work out in one or two conversations. But it's a start. (And 😂 at the "that's worse than cheating", an almost classic grey/yang moment!)

Talking about Mer, boy was she unbearable! I get that this was the point, but it didn't make for a fun watch.

Same (in a way) with the guy on the roof. I get that it's important, but those scenes were just too dragging and ruining the entire pace. Still, if it only helps one viewer (etc etc), so let's just be okay with it anyway. (Except for that last scene in the oncall room though - I thougt we were done with these two but no, still going in circles 🥱)

Finally, Jo and Link was one big "here we go again" chapter (Shondaland and babytalk, it never ever stops does it), but thanks to Link's great comedy timing it was at least kinda watchable. Now here's to hoping the subject is off the table for well, as long as possible!

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

CAP I FORGOT TO READ CHAPTER 73.

I WROTE SHIT ABOTU IT HERE YOU GO IT'S MOSTLY JUST ME FREAKING OTU

SPOILERS BELOW AND ALL THAT

Balad to cap

Ok so why didn’t i ever read chapter 73. I forgot about it? I have zero clue why that happened.

Its a very fun chapter too, it feels quite chill and is a good transition alongside tying up loose ends

I’m glad it talks about Alya being like “why tf are they over there” 

God I’m still so curious about the seeds planted of clues for Juleka’s identity, plus idk why but I’m still 90% certain adrien will randomly find out

I know he won’t but my brain is convinced

Help genderfluid Anarka i love her to pieces she’s such a terror (and i adore when you make her speak in a scottish accent, it’s so dear to me)

Interesting.. Luka teaches Kim guitar? I’m curious about Luka’s totally normal life aside from the furry for a sister, he tries so hard…

Oh. 

Now thats an interesting tidbit

Luka can tell how in her own head Juleka is? Very intriguing for him to call them delusions… I wonder how different pieces of this fic would be if they were from another perspective, especially the sheer level of danger the characters are in and how monstrous Juleka sees herself vs the reality of her protecting herself 

My thoughts are going to when she Prince Shining (that was his name right?) It’s one of my favorite original Akumas behind Wicket Witch and Little Red (which I am realising now is because of the background to them… Akuma hit harder when there is a buildup, huh. Something to keep in mind for my own writing.) That was fun to see, how worried the class was vs how confused that made Juleka

How people perceive others and myself has always been interesting to me, so this is right up my alley

Back to Luka

Oh curious, of course Luka would want to protect Juleka… I wonder if Marinette will try to make him a holder as well, I’m not sure if that secret identity would last the hour to be honest

The fact that we still don’t have much model Juleka content (aside from a piece of art you did a few years ago, or maybe that was someone else) makes me feel crazy! It’s an aspect of her that I’m really curious to see how you write it

I’ve got fun concepts for her in my own shit, and ANYWAY! Ui brought it up because Anarka was talking about sending Juleka there. 

Sorry, I’m both making notes on like 2 pieces of writing, writing 2 different scenes in totally different chapters and writing this and reading chapter 73 and cooking dinner. Can you tell I am diagnosed with ADHD? 

Woohoo for Fei saving people

Fei being scared and unsettled by Juleka is so funny help-

Aww, Juleka giving Fei interview practice is adorable

I need to reread at some point to see if we get to see how marinette sees Juleka compared to Panthera (hey, it’s me being obsessed with how people perceive others again, tbh that’s prolly why I am so excited to write my miraculous thing, there are some… extra layers that should make it funny) 

Sure you dont have a concussion Juleka, like I’ll believe that

MODEL LORE?? AUWG>/?

WOOO

MODEL SHIT IS HAPPENING I TAKE BACK ALL MY IMPATIENCE CAP I APOLOGISE

AND HER DRESS IS BASED OFF OF DUSSUU OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL IT???

CRAY=ZY.

HOYL SHIT]I THOUGT]F

ROSE WAS BEING A SAP. ACCEPTABLE. 

BUT.

SO YOU DO WORK WITH THE HEORES>545FRUNEIODWS

DUED

Oh my god if eel insane 

Help

Not Juleka slagging off herself to Rose she is so insane 

Wait

WHAT.

GABRIEL HAS TRIED TO AKUMATISE JULEKA A LOT? HOLY SHIT

This chapter is full of revaltions

Insane about everything her what the fuck

this is mostly me freakign out, sozzles its also really short. time for chapter 74!

this was a really good chapter i feel insane that i forgot to read it

YAYYYYY IM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED!!!!!

i wanted to set up the mood for season 3- i hope it makes you excited!!!!!

[dalt20]

Tooning in 5. Rufino Gomez 1-3

DL: How was your childhood?

RG: Its a different ballgame now, My childhood was struggling so as it now. Being an artist is so hard. Compare to no other profession.

DL: What was your favorite cartoons growing up?

RG: Voltes five

DL: And any Hanna barbera cartoons you also liked?

RG: Yogi Bear, of course that was the first thing i saw when i was growing up ...voltes was later.

DL: Did you drew a lot as a kid, how did you wanna be a animator, how did you got introduced to cartoons?

RG: Yes, I drew a lot back then even on walls in the neighborhood, in the palm of my hand anything flat. I never knew how its done before, i thougt all along it was moving on its own...it needs only one drawing and thats it...but when i enter the Filcartoons i was amazed how its done!

DL: How was growing up during Ferdinand Marcos rule Until 1986?

RG: It was painful...rice with corn ..people suddenly gone nowhere to find, people were scared you can see soldiers around ...my father was picked up in the evening ..us knowing nothing ...and then came back in the morning exhausted...future was gone ..people doesnt know what to do in order to survive..it was really scary...marcos recruited armies in his hometown province so that they can communicate in their own dialect..very astute dictator.

DL: Before then, how did you got into cartoons?

RG: My family, little they know i applied for this while stiil im studying ...good for me because after two weeks training, fire broke out in our neighboors and unfortunately we were included. So i already had the job after we were confined in the hospital. I was trained in Fil Cartoons as a Layout Animation...and the studio was really nice....i was in college ..third year in the School of Fine Arts in the University of the East in Caloocan City here in the Philippines...i applied for the training given at that time by Fil Cartoons as an Animation Layout ... I see ..it was really fun back then back then ...it started two years after the EDSA People Power Revolution and Fil Cartoons started in the 21st and 22nd floor of Strata 2000 building in Ortigas Ave. if my memory serves me right.

DL: So what was your first project at fil cartoons?

RG: That was Yogi Bear back then. And we were trained by John Rice, an Australian animator.

DL: How was John rice?

RG: I think John already settled here he married a filipina and stayed here.

DL: I believe he was from HB Australia.

RG: Yup, Hanna Barbera Australia!

DL: Yeah , so thoughts on the yogi bear character and his cartoons?

RG: Yogi Bear as a training materials for a starter like me was not that so hard because it was cartoony. It easy to turn around the character , And posing in a different position was easy because of its character designed.

DL: To ask a question, how do you move a character in animation? Like inbetweens?

RG: Yup..its a painstaking process. Not unlike today everything is in the stock.

DL: Yeah, like today people use flash animation and just move the puppet around.

RG: Yup! it speeds up the process.

DL: So how do you do inbetweens, can you explain it to me because I don’t understand how do they move without flipping the model like they do in flash?

RG: I was trained as a Layout Animation after that it goes down to the Animator for them to do the key poses and goes down to the inbetweeners. And after in the inbetweeners it goes down to the clean up and zerox department. The Background layout goes down to the Backgrounder to be painted in acrylic. The flipping goes down in the animator by using a QAR machine..it was a Quick Animation Recorder for the line test.. Thats were the action happens!

DL: So the layout artist is the guy who does the key poses for the betweeners to work out.

RG: The animator. Layout artist do the staging and the blocking of the character ..the first and last poses only and the background staging.

DL: So how was the head honcho, jerry smith?

RG: Jerry Simth was the one bring the animation in the Philippines together with a certain general here , Mowelfund, and other Bigtime businessmen. I will try to recall their names.

DL: So, how was jerry personally?

RG: Uhm..Jerry was generous only those he partnered where is the greedy.

DL: So he was from America right? From the HB studio in America?

RG: Yes, I think he is dead already.

DL: Yeah, he died 25 years ago. He was such a good man, As I heard everyone love him at fil cartoons.

RG: Yup he was really generous and he wants to uplift the lives of filipino artist.

DL: Well in Thad Komorowski’s book, he said that the place was a shithole I think. And the working conditions were poor.

RG: Only the filipinos businessmen he partnered is the problem. Yes its true the first location of the Fil Cartoons studio in Strata 2000 in ortigas was really a shithole specially the Restroom.

DL: Wow! Did people really had to sleep outside? Because they couldn’t afford to pay rent because of the low salary?

RG: Not really outside but inside the studio we were sleeping because other artist living in far away places. We were allowed to sleep in the studio below the animation table where we were working.

DL: Ah like John lasseter during the first days of Pixar?

RG: Exactly! And the food were listed in the canteen and paid weekly.

DL: Ah. That’s your word for cafeteria right? Canteen. For us Americans, that word is referred as a circular water container.

RG: I see the water canteen in the US army. Yes we used to that naming.

DL: So, we’re there any foreigners/nor Filipino animators at fil cartoons? Like American,Canadian, Australian,etc?

RG: As far as i can recall there were at least ten foreigners..not exactly..well Filipino animators after having years of experience were able to go the US and Australia and after a decade recruited in india and other southeast asian countries.

DL: Ah, so all Filipino (minus jerry) staff then?

RG: Yes , some foreign animators visiting but the staff almost filipino from accounting department down the line

DL: Oh, I see. So, can you tell me about those Filipino businessmen that were leading jerry the wrong way?

RG: The setup of the studio is like shanties each cubicle. The management was layered with politician and vic palileo i think was just a frontman.

DL: And so it’s was the past president’s cronies? Ferdinand Marcos?

RG: Yes. Josep Estrada the former president was the head of Mowelfund if i was not mistaken. Founder i think.

DL: Ah and so,, what was their deal with poor old Jerry, bribery or extortion?

RG: Probably...the philippines at that time was just recovering from a dictator and a lot of their cronies is in key position.

DL: Ah, must be hard for a American living in the Philippines doing his job supervising cartoons for Hanna barbera.

RG: Yes.

DL: So, can we talk about some of the projects at fil cartoons you did? First I want to bring up is the smurfs, How was working on that program?

RG: Yes that was a nice program, so easy to do, not only if you were given character in groups, that was easy. And its was fun to do ..and snorks.

DL: The character designs were all the same so that was a bonus!

RG: Yup! Police Academy The series.

DL: How was working on the show?

RG: It was great! The rate is good because its not so cartoony almost real like anatomy.

DL: Did You watch the films?

RG: No i havent because we dont have betamax player at that time. And the access to movie was only for the well off.

DL: Ah gotcha. Paddington bear how was your experience in that?

RG: Yup Paddington. Not so hard to do ..

DL: Why? Was it, because the character was easy to draw?

RG: It was cartoony. Full Body anatomy with almost realistic detail was really hard to do when it comes to full body turn around. Off modeled is the biggest problem.

DL: So speaking off model, did you ever drew anything “off model”? As fil cartoons had a horrible reputation for being off model.

RG: Of course ..almost every artist goes to that.

DL: Any examples you remember that you went like “that doesn’t look right but I have to finish this so this will do.” ?

He ask for my email address, I send it to him and he gives me a demo reel of his 90s work. The only things I could decipher is are German cartoon, fix and foxi and friends and the Canadian toon, the 2001 Anne of green gables adaptation.

DL: The footage looks a little choppy.

RG: So you could have an idea how tedious is the hand drawn animated cartoons.

DL: Yeah, I can believe you. It’s rough!

RG: Its a pencil test compiled.

DL: Yeah it isn’t Disney level pencil test. But it’s something.

RG: Its not complete with inbetween drawings just key poses.

DL: Ah ok. So a pup named Scooby doo, How was that program?

RG: Yeah i also able to work on that project but it was a short stint. Disney is full animation a 24 frame rate per second while the saturday morning show cartoons is limited to 15 frames per second..

DL: Wow! And it’s because it’s cheaper and faster?

RG: Yes. And they were done in movie format.

DL: But back to a pup named Scooby doo, how was it drawing the expressions and the squash and stretch animation the characters had contrast to other stilted animation?

RG: It was really exagerrated..that was the intention of the director. Each show has its own style of animation.

DL: And was he Glen Kennedy? The director of the animation?

RG: I think so..kathllen and glen lived here in the phil for a short period of time. Just for the project.

DL: Well he moved back in 1995 to work for a company called animasia, or was that Malaysia?

RG: Yup Animasia. I think he also helped with the setup of L.A. animation studio at the back of Folk Arts Theater in Roxas Blvd. If my memory serves me right.

DL: Ah, how was glen? Because he was rumored to have said to kill Tom ruegger over him getting fired over his work on tiny toons.

RG: Ah that was way way back..as far as i know he was into drugs...that was i heard..

DL: Well if that’s true, he’s clean now. That must be the reason he said that.

RG: Good for him, Drugs at that time was rampant here.

DL: Like morphine as that drug was very popular there.

RG: No... shabu...poor man's cocaine.

DL: I never heard that.

RG: Coke coming from hong kong.

DL: Oh yeah. I know that.

RG: It was just a short stint in the scooby doo it was intended for senior layout artist not for a newbie.

DL: Scooby doo and the reluctant werewolf, how was working your first feature film?

RG: I tried but the director is too strict and disciplined..but the rate is good. I never get thru. We never get credits for any show only the seniors.

DL: That’s why you don’t have a IMDb?

RG: Yes,Its politics.

DL: Oh, That’s sad.

RG: Only the privileged in the higher ups.

DL: That’s makes so upset.

RG: Im able to work in the feature film in the india studio ...The Buddha.

DL: Ok that’s great. So the Jetsons movie? Was that your first feature?

RG: I animated some scene here but were not included in the credits.

DL: God, that musta sucks. Was it when George jetson was in traffic and pulls up a inflatable policeman to get out of traffic before get got pull over from a actual police officer?

RG: Thats how life it is... Actually the expats enjoyed here much ...somebody do the work for them. And those who had attitude problem was thrown here.

DL: Man, the agony. Greatest stories from the Bible? How was working on that series?

RG: Im not able to participate on that ..it has a good rate.

DL: Oh ok, fantastic max. How was working on that?

RG: Yeah fantastic max ..only limited. Also Cliffhanger.

DL: For fantastic max musta sucked.

RG: Little house of Horror.

DL: What does that mean?

RG: Its a tv show ..Little House of Horror..maybe not in the US.

DL: Oh yeah, never heard of that.

RG: We almost do the outsourcing from other countries not only in the US

DL: Never knew that! From Europe?

RG: We did Mozart from germany.

DL: I think I saw that on your demo reel. How was that?

RG: It was good.

DL: So did fil cartoons worked on Winnie the Pooh and darkwing duck for Disney? As did you worked on those?

RG: Yup! Nah ..winnie is just recent...i worked in fil in the old studio after that i moved to others ...politics is intensifying.

DL: Ah ok.

[weirdraccoon]

This is one of my favorite songs and I feel it every time I hear it. I have a... story that goes with it but it's personal and kind of stupid so read only if you are curious.

Warning tho: Suicidal thougts and a very long rambling text.

So, in 2022 I went to Canada to meet with a guy I met on facebook (don't think anything yet, I know this is dumb). Anyway, this dude I met was from Mexico too, different city, but close enough he could visit.

We started talking during the pandemic and I didn't want to meet him in person haha and I used the fact that we had to stay home as an excuse to explain why I didn't want him to come (this dude couldn't take a simple "no").

Fastforward to May 2022 and he came to my city. I still didn't want to meet him but I admit he had been fun to talk to and I considered him an online friend. Besides, I had already looked him up, y'know, to check he was who he said he was and all. (I even found the name of his parents lol I'm good).

I remember Dr. Strange was on theatres and I told him I'd meet him if he invited me to see it and when we were waiting in line he told he was moving to Canada and he'd like it if I went with him. I was like "hold it, you're just an online friend" but I guess he had already put my in the girlfriend-zone which sucks.

That year was one of the worst years, emotionally for me. I've just finished my career and I was giving online classes and I felt like a functional adult. But then, I quit my job because of dumb stuff my dad put in my head and I had nothing to do- no work, no study, no energy to write or paint or anything really. And I started thinking:

If I'm doing nothing, then what's the point.

To be alive without actually living.... It'd be better if I didn't exist at all.

I guess it consumed me and it depressed me even more and all I did was sleep and pretend I was doing good when I had to go see my family.

I felt like a ghost. Now I realize I had been feeling like that, as if in a daze or a dream or like smoke, for a very very long time.

FB dude invited me to Canada then, paid for the plane and everything. Mom seemed excited that I was apparently meeting someone, even Dad was unworriedly cheering me on, telling me I should explore and travel and meet people (ohgoshamIcrying?)

So I went.

I knew I couldn't put my life in other people's hands, and not in a trusting way but in a desperate attempt at finding a lifeline.

That song?

I first heard it when I was sitting near a lake.

Dude had to work all the time I was there, so I was by myself most of the time. I still slept most of the day, then went out, drank water to feel full but I didn't eat that much in those two weeks, wandered around downtown, visited the National Gallery, took a bunch of photos to look content on my instagram...

I almost didn't come back.

My thinking process was: if I die here, they won't have to see my lifeless body. They won't have to hold a -what's the word- like they did for my uncle (who died just a few months before my trip). It'll be better for them all if I just disappeared. Bunch of people disappear everyday. Tourists. Specially women, right?

I listened to that song every single day during my stay there and I kept looking for the oportunity, the place. Waiting for someone to actually do it for me and even wishing FB dude was a psycho who'd do it for me cause apparently I was a coward.

Anyway, I did come back and I feel awake and I no longer want to do it even if I think not existing is still a good idea. Went to the psychologist, figured some stuff out, realized I hadn't mourn my uncle like I should've, put my life on my hands with a pretty simple and dumb goal: I don't want to leave that on my brother.

Now I'm still convincing myself, every day, that I do want to be here.

And even if there are days when I just sleep and think that I don't deserve to exist, I keep trying the next day.

Ignoring myself is difficult, but I also enjoy shutting myself up by proving I can do things.

It helps that now I have a job, so I have to get up for that, and HL helped a lot, taking me home for a little while and finding me a new little fandom with even a friend or two (even if we dont talk much).

Still... I'm scared of maybe not comitting it, but I guess I don't really take care of myself, and I'm just following my uncle's steps on how to stop existing.

But scared is not the right word either. I guess I'm just sad. Again. All the time.

[kneesntoess]

summer of the rec list 1: discworld

part four was going to be the miscellaneous section, but then I realised I had more discworld recs than I thougt! so here it is

arranged in no particular order, and covering a range of pairings, genres and length.

1.where the streets have my name - trifles

general audiences, 3k, no warnings

It was midnight, and Samuel Vimes, Commander of the City Watch, was not comfortable on the Chalk.

absolutely one of my favourite Discworld ficlets, it's so fun to see Tiffany again & to see Vimes interact with her on, as it were, her home turf.

2. tea and conquest - icarus_chained

general audiences, 800 words, sybil/vimes/havelock, sexual references

"You know," Sybil commented mildly, "Rosie was asking me what it was like, to have the two most powerful men in Ankh-Morpork among my conquests." Sybil Vimes, Havelock Vetinari, and some mildly kinky flirting in his office.

This is so fun and sexy and sweet! A lovely little glimpse into their lives and dynamics, and on the precise nature of conquests. One of the original OT3s of my heart.

3. quantum - rain_sleet_snow

teen, 2k words, gen, Night Watch coda.

Immediately after the birth of Young Sam, Mossy Lawn eats lunch with Willikins and boggles at true love.

On the nature of destiny, love, and the right thing. Love an outsider POV on established events. Mild content warnings for childbirth and references to maternal/infant death

4. The Bog - hobbitdragon

teen, 2k words, sybil/vimes/havelock, pre-relationship, relationship negotiations, polygamy relationships

This was where things got sticky. Currently they were on solid ground, but if she said anything wrong now, they’d be right into a conversational bog, and both of them would end up soaked to the chin and covered in leeches. Nobody wanted conversational leeches or damp boots.

Sometimes you have to risk getting your feet wet in order to reach safer ground. Some wonderfully careful relationship negotiation so that everyone involved can get what they want.

5. a knife is a knife - shermanic

teen, 6k words, major character death (canonical). Night Watch coda.

Keel had taught him to like the rain.

Night Watch from the point of view of poor, doomed Ned Coates. I love the aching sadness and grief and desperation that permeates through the whole thing, and again - love to see an outside perspective on Vimes

6. polis lux - tacroy

explicit, 3k words, D/s elements, dom!Sybil and sub!Vimes, pegging, breathplay

Although the curtains were drawn, there was still faint light. She wished she could see more of him than an outline, wished he’d let her keep the candles burning, but this was all miracle enough—she wasn’t going to press the issue, not when it had taken so much to get him in front of her like this, his shoulders shaking, her hand stuck hot on the hollow of his back as her hips snapped into him.

You know that thing where sometimes the best way to explore a character or a relationship is through sex, because it's such a lovely vehicle for conveying intimacy and trust and fear? Yeah. This is that, rendered perfectly. Plus it includes some of my personal favourite things, like praise kink and Doms who needs aftercare.

7. blessed are the peace makers - postcardmystery

teen, 3k words, gen. content warnings for state violence, police violence, sexual assault, death, discussion of alcoholism

A Vimes has died for Anhk-Morpork before, and history, you see, likes patterns. Ankh-Morpork does not ask, but Sam Vimes pulls himself up by his bootstraps (up and up and up--) and draws himself to attention, answers.

Would you like some feelings about Vimes and what it means to serve a city and a people? To really love something you know will kill you? Here you go.

8. The Guarding Dark - cloudymagnolia

general, 600 words, post-Sam Vimes. Post Snuff

Mine sign isn't created. Mine sign is born.

This one makes me cry every time. And think about how the standards we hold yourselves to, the kind of watch we have to keep on ourselves.

[hourglassstationacademy]

HSA Destiny Road  Promposals Part. 2

Kayne x Banikah @rookvonhunt​

After helping Tiam with his promposal, Kayne thought about how to approach his own one. He went as usual to the sports training in DAC to watch and waited untill Banikah was finished with training. For one he prepared a meal for her but on the lid of the bento box he placed the invitation carefully.

As she finished her training he offered her the box and as she opened it she looked confused.

“What is that?”

“I wanted to ask you to come to Prom with me actually.. my school makes one and I thought... well...”

She smiled and ran her hand through his hair messing it up.

“Well sounds like fun I am in.”

“You will?”

“Why not, I like ya and you came all this way and thougt about it... it sounds like a good night.”

He chuckled. Sure his true feelings didn’t come through but at least... he is able to take her to prom and maybe try again.

__________________________________________

Rubina x Metaron @twsted-princess​

Rubina was really nervous... first Flynn was in the way after getting her prom ticket and teased her about and now she realized she didn’t know how to ask Metaron out... so her first instinct was to just quickly go through with it. She walked on to the Kendo club and saw Nanoya and Metaron spar.

“Nano... could I please talk to Metaron alone for now? If that is okay.”

He smiled is if knowing what she wanted to do and patted her on the shoulder.

“What did you want, Ruby?”

“I.... wanted to give you this.”

She held out her invitation with a bright red face but as she looked up at him...

“So you want me to come to one of your next plays right?”

She pouted.

“I wanted you to go to prom with me... as my date....”

As she said that his face was bright red.. and he seemed to lose balance.

“Meta stay with me... don’t faint on me here...”

“I umm... yes.... yes I would love to go with you.”

Out of happiness she jumphugged him however this caused him to actually faint and she had to wait till later to actually give him the invitation back.

“I-I will be seeing you... in the best dress I had.” Both their faces were still red but they were happy about it.

________________________________________

Emma x Earwyn @in-that-deep-blue-sea​

Emma was the one to plan everything quickly, especially cause she knew  she had to act quickly given many fans were probably trying their all to ask her and her target was also pretty popular, so she already made a secret spot to meet Earwyn and ask him out...

She felt like on a stealth mission as she went out of school with the help of Gregory and met Earwyn in her disguise in the city.

She looked at him with a smile. “Whats the reason you said it was urgent.. usually when you want to meet you ask calmer?”

“I needed to get away from fans... we actually have a prom at our school and.... I wanted you to be the first person I could ask to come with you.”

“So you are safe from these fans?”

Emma sighed.

“No... cause I genuinely like you... and this way we can spend a night together... dancing, having fun... without me wearing disguises all the time.”

As she said this he pulled his arm around her.

“Well then I be happy to be your date... but you could have just texted me.”

“I wanted to answer as quick as possible...”

As she said that he leaned forward to pull her in for a kiss.

________________________________________

Gregory x Deus @terrovaniadorm​

Deus was nervous... it wasn’t a while ago that he found out Gregory was Shade and vice versa and that he said to him he was in love with him in both ways... however the prom was the natural step to see if they fit together. Still he asked him out to get a cocky comeback from him.

“Well who are ya asking to prom... Gregory or Shade? I hafta know if you want to see me in a dress or a Suit.”

Deus fumbled his hands nervously.

“Can I choose both? you would look cool in a suit but hella pretty in a Dress.”

Gregory smiled and layed his arm over Deus shoulder.

“Well depends what would get ya easier flustered...”

Deus face lit up...

“Then probably Shade but... I would love to see both at least....”

Gregory smiled. “That can be done.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Aiden x Hans @multydoodles​

​Aiden layed rested under his tree as Hans came by to visit. Sitting next to him as usual as they chatted along.

“Hey Aiden...did you think about the prom?”

“What do you mean... well I would prefer not to go but that is against the rules... so I guess I have to think of something...”

“I see..”

“Hans... how about you would go with me?”

“H-Huh?”

Aidens cheeks went lightly red.

“You know... out of all the people in this school... I like you the most probably... and also asking me this... means you wanted to go ther right... why not go together... then I know it will have a purpose for me coming.”

Hans smiled lightly and put a hand on his cheek.

“You are warm... you seem serious so I accept.”

Both couldn’t really tell that they were much happier than they led on to seem. Aiden didn’t mind for one to join in the festivities.

[wwilloww]

Okayyyy so since I am obsessed with Jimin from sh., I'll ask him a question. First, Hi *blush*.

Is there any kind of major events, experiences, thougts behind your sexual you? (Sexual persona, alter ego, I don't know what term speaks to you or not).

Hihi thanks, keep up the good work 👉👈

Jimin grins. "I guess it all started with my first boyfriend in high school. He was a little bit older than me--and oh don't we love those older boys--but we went to school together, we'd grown up together, so I put a lot of trust in him. He was good to me, and we waited until I turned 18, did everything by the books, but there was always something about that relationship that felt rushed. Like I was rushing into it because I thought I should be doing everything at once. That I was supposed to be doing, supposed to be wanting certain things. Looking back, I wonder what it would have been like if I waited. But then again, I wouldn't have wanted it with anyone else at the time. There's nothing worthwhile about looking at the past and wishing it were different."

Yoongi looks over at Jimin. He squeezes his thigh.

"When we broke up, I went through a bit of a hypersexual adventurous phase. I went to sex clubs, I made some movies, I pushed my boundaries. It was fun. It was really fun. I learned a lot about myself during that time, it felt like I was coming back to myself after a long time of being the second half of someone else. There's something about a little pain that inspires a good amount of growth." He winks.

"For a while my sexual self felt separate from the rest of myself. But these days, these days it feels different. Like what I want is part of who I am. Like wanting is part of who I am."

Ask my characters a question!

[wayward-mikaelson]

Shallow (Dean Winchester x F! Reader)

Word Count: 4549

About: Set during S15 finale, so SPOILERS. You and the boys pick up a vamp hunt while at a Pie Festival. The hunt ends tragically.

Characters: Dean, Sam, Jody, Cas, Young Dean (s15), Lyla (OC)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F! Reader (Anyone can obviously read it)

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Language, Angst, Character Death, Depression (mentioned), Time Jumps.

A/N: It's been while since I did a SPN fic! Writing it made me miss the them more!

A/N 2: This might need some tissues.

***This work contains content for the 18 and up crowd, so please read at your discretion. This work is cross posted on other sites. Please don't copy and paste my work; I work too hard on all my stories. You my copy the link to share or you may reblog. I am NOT taking requests at this time. Feedback is welcomed!***

Forever Tags: @hobby27 @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @elansaidaris @magssteenkamp @440mxs-wife

Supernatural Tags: @lyarr24

Dean/Jensen Tags: @akshi8278 @sandlee44 @squirrelnotsam @thougts-and-funnies

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You laid there, feeling the cool body paint move around on your back. Dean’s gentle fingers tracing over your back could put you to sleep. This had been the most calm and rest you had in the last couple years. You deserved it! Hell, Dean deserved it more than you. He had been fighting longer than you ever had.

Dean and you crossed paths six years ago during a demon hunt. It really was your hunt and you wouldn’t want to admit it, but you really weren’t doing too hot. You were extremely lucky the Winchester’s stumbled across your hunt when they did. If it weren’t for them you’d probably be some demon's meat suit or doing the conga in hell with the devil himself. That was until you learned of where the devil really was a few years later.

You and Dean rarely got along over the first few years. The two of you always butted heads and argued during most hunts. It annoyed Sam so much that he actually told the two of you “Sleep together already! I can’t take the sexual tension and the bickering any longer.”

It didn’t take longer after that for Dean to grab your face and kiss you.

“Are you done back there?” You tried to twist a bit but a hand gently pushed you back into place.

“Nope,” Dean enunciated the word. “Almost. This is going to look epic though.”

“Doesn’t need to be the Sistine Chapel,” You buried your face back into the pillow.

Dean gasped. “Excuse me? Your back deserves a painting better than the Sistine Chapel. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t give you the best?”

You chuckled and mumbled something into the pillow.

Once Dean was finished, he reached for his phone and took a picture of it. “There we go,” you heard the smile in his voice. “Now that’s what I like to call the Sistine Back. Here, take a look.”

You lifted your head to see Dean lay on his side next to you. A huge smile painted his face as he showed the screen of his phone to you. What you saw, had you laughing uncontrollably. “Oh, Dean,” you breathed in between laughs. “This is better than the Sistine Chapel. I love it!”

Dean’s face lit up so bright, it could have brightened up the dimly lit room. “Yeah? Maybe I should get this printed out big enough to fit the ceiling in here.”

You shook your head as laughter took over your body once again. “Oh, God, yes! We can stare at the hamburger and apple pie every night we have sex.”

“Yeah,” Dean pushed you onto your back, getting the body paints onto the sheets under you. He plants a gentle kiss to the base of your neck, making you shiver through your entire body. Dean began to kiss down your body until he got to your belly. He looked up at you with those bright green eyes. Instead of slinking down further, he crept back up and hovered over you. Those eyes seemed to stare right into your soul. This man has shown you more love than any other man, including your father, has ever shown you. “I love you, don’t you ever forget that.”

“Never,” you reached up, wrapped your arms around his necK and pulled him to your lips. “I have a surprise for you.” Twisted to the side and pulled a piece of paper out of the side table drawer and handed it to him. You watched as his face lit up and looked between the paper and your face.

“A pie festival?” The excitement was clear as day in his voice. “Oh, Sweetheart, we are so going to this thing. The three of us. A huge family road trip.”

And that’s what you all did.

It was the best trip you all had. Dean tried every single pie he could get his hands on. You and Sam watched as he ate each slice. Looking like he was in heaven with each bite he took. It made you happy to see him so at peace not worrying about anything. There’s no end of the world evil to take care of. There hadn’t been for awhile.

LIfe seemed to be normal.

“You gotta try this one,” Dean sat next to you with another big box full of piece samples. He gave you a fork and pushed a pie towards you. “Don’t give it that look. It’s a honey apple pie with a tad bit of rosemary. So much sweeter than normal apple pie.” You took a small bite and Dean was right. It was sweeter.

“Not going to lie, that was pretty good,” you went for another bite.

“So, guys, get this,” Sam sat down with a newspaper in hand. Can’t be a fun trip unless Sam had his paper to look at. “There was a kidnapping last night. Father murdered and the mother’s tongue cut out. Both kids are missing.”

“Okay, doesn’t sound like our kind of thing,” you reach for the paper. “Maybe leave it to the local PD?” Suddenly, Dean took the paper from your hands and stared at the picture to the article of the tragic story.

“I’ve seen this before,” he mumbled. “Do we still have Dad’s journal?”

“Yeah, why?” Sam asked.

“I think I’ve seen these masks before.”

And Dean. Once he found the drawing John Winchester drew years ago, they matched the ones in the paper. You guys were looking at a pair of masked vamps and you guys were pretty much the closest hunters to take care of it.

“It’s one little hunt,” Dean shrugged as he checked out the weapons in the trunk. “Why don’t we take care of it and then head on home.”

It didn’t take long for you guys to locate the missing children. They were being held in an old barn on the outskirts of town. There three of you, so it shouldn’t be too hard to fight a small nest of vamps. You guys have taken out larger nests in the past.

“Come on, just this once?” Dean had asked. You peaked your head around the trunk and saw Dean holding up ninja stars with a huge smile on his face. Sam on the other hand just stared at him and shook his head.

“Not this time, man.”

Dean put the stars away while mumblings about how Sam was no fun. You smiled and patted him on the back and told him that there will be another time to use them. Dean gumbled some more and you had to remind him that you book a separate motel room away from Sam and that you brought some fun toys.

Even his favorite one to use on you.

Getting into the barn was too easy. Sam and Dean fought the two vamps that jumped out, making it easier for you to grab the two kids and get them to the impala. Once you strapped them in, you were making your way towards the driver side, you were tackled by one of the vamps.

The two of you wrestled in the dirt until you were able to break away and grab hold of your machete. You get to your feet and are tackled again, this time the vamp pins you firmly to the ground. The vamp removed his mask and bit down onto your neck, making you cry out. When the vamp pulled back, you took that small opening to headbutt him and kick in in the groin. You rolled away and quickly stood up and swung your machete. The vamp's head rolled onto the ground. You looked up and saw the terrified look on the children’s face.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you told them when you opened their door. You pulled the blankets over them and gave them some water and the sandwiches you made. “Drink and eat, we’ll get you home soon.” You heard it go quiet in the barn. It was too quiet and something in you told you something wasn’t right. “Hang on tight,” you closed the door and ran inside the barn.

What you saw, it almost knocked the wind out of you. There, Dean’s back was pressed firmly against a wooden pillar with a pained expression on his face. You ran up to him and looked at the damage and felt the tears fall as your heart begin to break.

Dean wasn’t going to come back from this.

“Dean,” you whispered as you met his eyes.

“I know, sweetheart,” He winced as he spoke. You saw his breathing get deeper and more shallow. “I love you. Don’t you forget that when you find someone else.” You squeezed your eyes shut because there was nothing you can do or say that will change the outcome of this. You felt Dean’s hand on your face pulling you towards his lips.

This kiss wasn’t like past kisses. It was firm and passionate and slow. He wanted you to remember this kiss for years to come. “Until we meet again,” Dean whispered, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Take care of her, Sam,” Dean added.

Everything that followed after that, felt like a dream. Your body felt heavy as you drove the kids to the nearest police station with some story about how you found them. The man that you loved, the man who you spent many nights talking about some kind of future, that man was now gone.

When you got back to the barn, the sun was just beginning to rise. You saw Sam sitting next to a covered up heap and the realization, again, hit you hard. The cover heap was Dean’s body. You stopped the impala and got out. Sam looked up at you with red eyes. You knew he had been crying hard. Probably as hard as you had. Sam got up and effortlessly picked up Dean and placed him in the back seat.

The whole way back to the bunker, neither of you spoke. You just took turns crying and driving. Stopping on the side of the road and just letting the other scream out in whatever pain the two of you had left in your bodies.

Back at the bunker, the two of you worked and got a pyre ready. When it was ready, you watched as Sam carried his big brother's body and gently placed it on the wooden display. You stood, with Miracle standing next to you. She had been whimpering off and on. She knew Dean was up there. You knelt down and let her nuzzle you while you let some more tears fall. Miracle was all you had left of Dean now.

Sam had some trouble lighting the pyre so you went up and helped it light it. Soon, the pyre and Dean were on fire. Then the two of you stared at it until it was nothing but ash.

***

You sat in Jody’s spare room while Miracle laid at your feet. You still wished all of this were a dream because neither you nor Sam, could adjust to the new reality that Dean was gone. So the two of you packed up what you could and left the bunker.

You guys drove until you were on Jody’s doorstep at midnight. She knew something was wrong when she looked deeply into your faces and asked where Dean was. When she saw the tears in your guys eyes, her whole face fell. She pulled the two of you into the tightest hug and held on tightly as the three of you cried silently.

A gentle knock on your door startled you. You got up and answered the door and saw Sam standing there. He was dressed in fresh clothes holding two cups of coffee.

“Are you, uh, doing okay?” Sam asked as you took the coffee from him. “I know it’s a stupid question but…”

You gave a pained smile, “I know I’ll be okay, but I feel like I won’t be okay. I’ve tried praying to Jack but I’m pretty sure he’s busy fixing Heaven.” You recount the hours you cried out to Jack about the loss of Dean. You cried about how you wanted him back. You cried about how you were supposed to move on from an epic love like that. You cried about how you just missed him and needed him to make it better.

“Same here,” Sam ran his hands through his hair. “I’m going to go look at places, apartments, that we can share and see what kind of jobs we can get. Do you want to come along?”

You took a deep breath and looked at the ground. “Not today, maybe tomorrow. I really want to spend time alone and process these last couple days.”

“Okay, no worries,” Sam nodded his head. “I’ll see you when I come back.”

“Okay.”

You waited until Sam had been gone for an hour to pack your bags again and head down stairs. You were in the process of opening the door when you heard someone behind you. Turning around you saw Jody standing in the entryway with you. She didn’t say anything, she just pulled a pair of keys out of the bowl next to her and handed them to you.

“Call me when you're safe,” she placed a hand on your face and gave you a smile. “I can’t bear to lose another kid.” A few tears slipped down her cheek.

Agreeing to call her, you slipped out the door and to the car Jody let you use. You got in and made sure Miracle was settled in the passenger seat. Then you were on your way out of town. You weren’t sure where you would go but you knew you needed to get far away from everything.

You needed to start fresh somewhere.

***

Years have passed and you’ve found that the pain of losing Dean has lessened. You’re able to have random memories of him without crying or hours and days on end. You were able to wake up without feeling like there was a hole on your chest. You were finally able to tell Sam why you ran after you were states away. You promised him it would be for a bit and that you’ll contact him.

Sadly, that day never came.

Two months after losing Dean you began to feel sick. You weren’t sure if it was the stress of losing Dean or starting a new life or both. So, off you went to the doctors and there you sat on the papery bed feeling like you were hit by a truck. The words that the doctor told you, they echoed around in your head.

“And the father?” the words were almost like a whisper in your already loud and spinning head.

“What?” you shook your head.

“That father?” the doctor repeated. “What do you know about the father?”

You took a deep breath and looked at the ground. “Um, he’s not in the picture.” Your voice had been quiet. Your heart felt like it had been breaking all over again. Part of you couldn’t believe this was happening. Part of you believed it, Dean and you were never really safe when it came to sex.

“One night stand? We do have options,” the doctor began to say.

“No no,” you shook your head. “The father, he’s um...he passed away.” You choked on the words. Hearing it out loud, made his death all the more real.

“My apologies,” The doctor whispered.

You took the pamphlets and walked out of the doctors. You didn’t know what you would do. This was all so new and all so painful at the same time. Dean was supposed to be here with you whenever this happened. In the end, you chose to keep the baby. You called Jody and Donna and told them, making them both promise not to tell Sam.

Over the years, you heard about Sam through Donna and Jody. He got married and had a kid of his own. You wanted to reach out but at this point it had been years and the two of you had settled into non hunting life. It wouldn’t be fair to disrupt it.

As more years passed, you saw Lyla become more and more like her father. She had his green eyes and his smile. She was smart and would get her hands on just about anything and that made you wonder, where did she get that from. Smart brains ran on both sides. Maybe something from Sam or something from your father. She loved pie just as much as Dean, and you’d take her to the pie festival every year.

As Lyla grew, she asked about Dean from time to time and you told her what you could. You also told her that when she turned into an adult you would tell her more, that telling her while she was young and child wouldn’t be safe or wise. In the meantime, you told her all the things asked about.

“What was Daddy’s favorite food?”

“What did Daddy like to do for fun?”

“What was Daddy’s favorite color?”

“Did Daddy have a favorite movie?”

The questions were endless, but you loved to answer them. Then one day, Lyla came up to you one morning, her dark hair looking like a bird's nest. Her face was beaming with happiness.

“Mommy,” Lyla’s voice was an octave higher. “Did you know, Daddy is in Heaven?”

You almost choked on your coffee. “What, Sweetie?”

“Daddy, he’s in Heaven. An angel told me,” she walked off and grabbed her stuffed chicken, one that she named Chickie Meow Meow, and hugged it tightly.

“What angel?” you asked. You got up and began to check all your warding, the ones that kept the bad creatures out. Everything seemed to be in place, even that salt that still blended in with your window panels. Then you checked to see if Lyla still wore the anti-possesion charm necklace you had made for her. She still did. “What did the angel look like?”

“He wore a funny brown jacket,” she answered. “He said his name was Cas. He wanted me to tell you that Daddy is fine. That they are looking over us.” You pulled Lyla into a hug and let some tears fall.

***

You walked into that old abandoned barn. You had left Lyla with Jody for the weekend. You sat down and placed all that you needed to summon Cas. You didn’t want to pray, you knew Cas all too well, he probably wouldn’t show up. But if you summoned him, you knew he had no choice but to come and see you. You lit the match and dropped it into the bowl and waited.

“Y/N” The deep, rough voice said your name.

You turned to see Cas standing there. In the same thing that he had been taken away in. But it was cleaner. “How are you alive?” you asked outright.

“Jack, he brought me back,” Cas took a few steps closer to you. “You know you could have prayed and I would have come.”

“But would you?” you gave the angel a smirk and raised your eyebrows.

“I did it for Lyla,” Cas looked into your eyes. “She prayed about Dean and wanted to know if he was in Heaven. I thought it best that it was me to come to her.”

You looked down, you couldn’t bear to look into the angel's blue eyes. You always assumed things and that always backfired and kicked you in the ass. “Then why didn’t you come to me when I cried out to you or to Jack?”

“I did,” Cas closed the distance and placed a hand under your chin and lifted your face to meet his eyes. “Each night that you cried yourself to sleep, I was there sitting at the foot of your bed. Each night that you drank yourself to sleep, before you found out you were pregnant, I sat there and rubbed your back the way Dean told me too. Then when you were in that delivery room all by yourself, I was there to make sure things went smoothly. Then when you were sleeping, I memorized everything there was about Lyla. I have watched over the two of you these last nine years. Dean would be so proud of how far you have come.”

You stood there and cried silently as Cas spoke. “Cas,” you whispered, wiping the tears from your face. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I can’t be on Earth as much, Jack and I are still fixing Heaven but I can tell you that Dean is waiting for you.” Cas moved his hand to your shoulder. “I have to go, but I was told to tell you, I love you by Dean.”

Then you were alone.

***

Twelve year passed and you’re helping Lyla with a college event. She had just turned twenty-one and was nearly done with her bachelor degree. At this point, she knew all that there was to Dean. She knew he was a hunter, that he saved the world countless times, that he had some faults, and so on.

Lyla knew of what goes bump in the night. She’s read every note and the journal you kept during the time you had been hunting. When she asked if Dean kept one, you had told her that he didn’t. That he used his fathers and you weren’t sure where that ended up. Lyla even went above and got whatever protection tattoos down her spine.

So, while you’re helping Lyla you had a boy, about nineteen years old come up to the booth and look around. He looked familiar to you. He wore a long sleeve flannel, that was probably why. Sam and Dean always wore flannel. That was probably why and it made you miss the younger Winchester. You should have kept in contact with him or at least told him of Lyla.

“Y/N?” A familiar voice called out to you.

You turned around and your heart just about fell from your chest. There standing with grey hair, was Sam Winchester. He hadn’t changed too much except for the hair and the fact that he wore glasses. He still looked like the Sam Winchester you knew all those years ago.

“Sam?” You crossed your arms.

“The one and only,” he smiled. “What are you doing here?”

Before you could answer, Lyla came up to you. “Mom, we’re going to need some more pamphlets, we’re just about out.” You turned to Lyla who saw Sam. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s okay, take my keys and you can go print some out at the UPS down the street,” You motioned to your bag.

After Lyla had left you turned back to Sam who had watched her the whole time. It was like he knew. “So, you have a kid too?” You heard the tone in his voice. Lyla looked so much like Dean these days, you knew someone from your past was bound to notice. Sam most of all.

“Yeah,” you answer quietly. “Her name’s Lyla.”

“Cool, that’s great you found someone to populate the Earth with,” Sam gestured towards you. That tone he held was still there. The look in his eyes was the very same one he used on you when he called you out on yours and Dean’s sexual tension.

“You know, don’t you?” you lowered your arms.

“She looks a lot like Dean,” Sam whispered. “Is that why you ran? Is that why I never heard from you?” You stared at Sam and tried to hold back your emotions. “Dean’s final words were to take care of you. I failed at that when you ran.”

“You failed when you didn’t come and look for me,” you lashed out. “I thought you would have looked for me despite everything I told you. You should have found me. Then I find out through Jody your married and have a kid, I thought it best not to mess up what you got for yourself.”

Sam stared at you and nodded. “I should have and I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” you whispered and looked around. The boy in the flannel was still there. Then it hit you. “Is that?”

“My son,” Sam’s face lit up brighter than you’ve ever seen it. “His name is Dean.”

For the next five years you kept in touch with Sam. You guys spent holidays and birthdays with each other. That was, until you got sick and the doctors couldn’t help you. So, in your hospital room, Sam sat beside you. He wasn’t doing too well either, but he held your hand and smiled at you.

“Tell Dean I said hi,” were the last words you heard.

***

When your eyes opened again, you were sitting on a bench. Around you was a field of just plain old grass and a few trees. You knew this place all too well. You stood and realized you were back in your younger body. Having that kind of movement again, it was amazing. You began to walk around, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin. It all felt nice and it made you smile.

“Hey, Sweetheart.”

You spun around at the familiar sound. There he stood, looking handsome as ever in his jacket and leaning against the Impala with that heartwarming smile. “Dean,” you said his name like he hadn’t been dead for almost three decades.

Dean pushed himself off the impala and closed the distance between the two of you. He placed a hand on your cheek and brushed his calloused thumb over it. You closed your eyes and took in the touch. “You know, time is different up here. It doesn’t feel like it’s been twenty-six years.” Then he pressed his lips to yours and the feel almost knocked you off your feet.

“Are we allowed to kiss in Heaven?” you pulled away from him.

“I don’t think Jack minds,” Dean smiled and gathered you into his arms and pressed his lips more firmly to his. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed yourself against him. “Wanna go for a ride?” He asked when he pulled away.

“Sure, I missed this beauty.” You ran your hand along the impala and just as you were about to get in, Dean staring at you caught your eye. “What?”

“Cas says you had a baby,” Dean crossed his arms on top of the hood. “I have to ask…”

You smiled at him and leaned on the hood as well. “She’s yours and she’s incredible. Loves pie just like her daddy. I thought Cas would’ve told you.”

“Time moves differently up here,” Dean repeated what he said earlier. “What’s her name?”

“Lyla,” you smiled. “Lyla Winchester.”

“I wish I got to know her,” Dean spoke softly.

“You will,” you got into the passenger side. “I can tell you all you want about her.”

Dean followed you into the impala. “I don’t have to worry about some random dude coming here and claiming you as his wife or something?”

“Nope,” You sat back. “Now drive or I’ll start walking.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

[wenellyb]

this is probably just me but I’m kind of getting annoyed with directors and producers saying in interviews that they didn’t intend for the characters to be read as LGBT at all...i just feel like it’s always been a given that once you create a piece of fiction (like books or movies), the interpretations of the reader/viewer are just as important as the intentions of the author/creator.

even if the intention wasn’t to make sam or bucky bi and in a relationship, i feel like we are allowed to read them like that without the directors and writers saying “no no we didn’t mean for it to be like that!!”...like it might not have been their intention but it’s still there

and i don’t think it’s wishful thinking that they’re in a relationship either, like the tropes of a romcom are right there...anyway sambucky rights 😭

Hi Anon, I don't think it's just you and I really understand the frustration because I share some of it too but I'm frustrated at the real "culprits"... the executives making the decisions. I'm sorry for replying late to this but I have a lot of thoughts on this topic and I wanted to organize them first😂 First things first... I know we have all been in other fandoms... But we have try to stop applying what happened in other fandoms and what other directors have said in other fandoms to what's happening with Sambucky. For so many reasons, but the main one is: Marvel people cannot say anything.... literally.... They must have a secrecy oath or something but it's not in these interviews that you will find meaningful information.. Remember a while back when Anthony tried to tell us he WASN'T Captain America even though we had all seen Steve hand him the shield in Endgame?? So it was already a scene we had seen? That man was contradicting something that millions of people had seen with their own eyes. Was I frustrated at Anthony ? No. Because that's how anyone involved in marvel projects talks... ( You remember why people make fun of Ruffalo and Holland? Because they are the only 2 unable to follow that one simple rule😂) So my strategy is focus on the content we have and focus on the future content when it's time to focus on the future content... But I really never focus on cast members interviews or directors interview etc...(Only Stackie interviews but you know that already). I think that we are so used to complaining in other fandoms that we complain for the FATWS but the directors did the best they could. Maybe the directors/writers in other shows/movies have a little more freedom in what they said.

I would understand of it were an indie movie or something but it isn't, Kari and Malcom arent making the decisions alone and have some limitations because they aren't allowed to give any hints about the future... and most of the time they don't even know themselves... Directors/ writers change all the time. Besides in Marvel shows the romance is never at the center of the story, I consider myself lucky that we got this much romance in the show... If Sam or Bucky were a woman I don't think we would have had any more romantic moments than what we got (maybe just on little kiss at the end but not much more than that... Sam and Bucky wouldn't have been kissing in every episode I can assure you that). The only difference is that people would have seen the romance right away, and the shippers wouldn't have minded if there had been a kiss or not. Because that's how Marvel projects work... not much focus on the romance itself, it's not even a subplot, more like a sub-subplot.

Sam and Bucky started with only 4 lines in Civil War and then 2 scenes in Endgame... That's it. So what they have now is just amazing.

Another point: If I'm not mistaken, Kari never said that Bucky was never intended to be read as LGBT/ Bi. If she did, let me know and I will read the interview again. What she said was that the Tiger Pictures weren't put there to show that Bucky was bisexual but to show that he was not good with technology. And that there was" no sexuality attached to his character" which makes no sense, by the way, because he went on a date with Leah, so they had to at least think avout his sexuality,... But she didn't say that, she didn't say he was straight or bi. She purposely gave a vague answer...Like all Marvel people do... So I think it's unfair to get frustrated at her for things that are out of her control. She was giving a specific answer related to the Tiger pics, maybe she would have given a different reply to a different question. I know that directors or actors other shows have said what you just mentioned in your ask, and correct me if I'm wrong, but it hasn' t been the case for TFATWS. I don't think any of them said Bucky wasn't bisexual and even less about Sam. They never said anything like that or never said that they never intended them to be read as LGBT. Last point: I don't think that she had no intention of portraying Sam and Bucky in a romantic lighting... I do think it was intentional but I also think that this is the best she can share right now...

As you said... the romance tropes are right there... it's not a mistake or a coïncidence... they put them there for a reason I have said this before but I will say it again because I think some Sambucky shippers don't come from other MCU fandoms and even the ones that do seem to forget this sometimes... y

These writers, directors, etc always talk in riddles and share as little information as possible...We don't know what will happen and they don't know either... So it's very difficult for them to make impactful comments.

Sorry to bring this a lot but am I the only one who remembers the Peggy Sharon and the Peggy again situations...??? Do you think any of the directors or writer knew where the story was going when they were filming the movies? no. I say we just focus on what we liked and ignore the reat until there is real content, Kari said " they love each other and rhey work great as a couple" and Malcom said they are a family .... If I were in their position I don't know what I would be allowed to say... nothing is ever certain in the Marvel universe. As much as I'd like to hope about what happens with Sam and Bucky in the next movies... I don't even think the decision has been made, so why get frustrated over something that isn't even decided yet...What I can so... is the already great and developed love story, I don't care that there wasn't a kiss.

Would I have appreciate an "official" confirmation? Yes, yes yes. But I'm also happy with the story as it is and know that maybe it isn't their decision to confirm or not. But the content is there and it's a love story. People who say Marvel will never go there are lying because they don't know. And people who pretend Bucky and Sam will be together in the next movies are lying too because they don't know either... It's also a possibility that Seb wouldn't be in the next Cap movie... We really don't know enough to be frustrated about anything😂. Even if Kari and the writers had depicted Sam and Bucky as a romantic item (Which they did, by the way). I believe this is the maximum she would have been able to say... Maybe because they are two men... or maybe because that's just the way Marvel operates.

Please feel free to share your thougts on this if you want too and of course: Sambucky rights!!!

[na-klar]

druck nora ep 2 translation

Friday, 17:03

Ava: Do you want to drink something?

Nora: Oh yeah, thanks.

Ava: Exhausting day?

Nora: Yeah... until 10th period, dude. You?

Ava: Mh, pretty chill.

Nora: Nice. We were in the same class in fifth grade, right? But I feel like I haven’t seen you for a long time in school.

Ava: Yeah, I was a year in Alaska.

Nora: Alaska?!

Ava: Mhm!

Nora: Whaaat? Okay, that’s wild.

Ava: Yes...

Nora: Oh wait, sorry.

Zoe: Hey Nori, we’re on our way to the parking lot. Are you coming? We’d be really happy ☀

Nora: Good, uhm... should we start?

Ava: Let’s wait for the others. I’m sure they’re coming soon.

Nora: Okay.

Ava: The owner of this Späti(*) is super nice, by the way.

Nora: Really?

Ava: Yes!

Nora: Cool.

Ava: Yeah. We’ll have to have all our Abi meetings here.

Nora: Yeah, definitely. Support your local Späti, right?

Ava: Yes, exactly! Do you think the others are really all drinking alcohol right now?

Nora: I think they are, unfortunately. Let’s see.

Zoe: Guyyyyssss! Tomorrow huge parking lot rave! We’re drinking away all the money!

Constantin: The abi is getting cancelled so we’ll drink away all the money.

Ismail: Fuck Corona, fuck Corona.

Nora: My god, that’s so embarrassing. What?

Ava: Sorry. Damn! I just had a thougt... when I was in Alaska - it was really rough with these guys in 9th grade. Maybe you noticed it, too.

Nora: I didn’t really know them back then-

Ava: It was extremely shitty. And I thought, yeah, I’ll go away for a year, forget about it, and become a new person! Then I come back and the great thing is they’re still the same assholes. I’ve learned to defend myself but... but they always find something to show how great they are. I don’t want to let these jerks win all the time anymore. What’s that?

Nora: Ah, I found that...

Ava: Show me. Okay? What is that?

Nora: Okay, this is going to sound weird but some dude ran into me, I let my phone fall, it’s cracked now, and then I found his fanny pack and now we’re writing stickers to each other.

Ava: Okay, that sounds cool. And how..?

Nora: Like I said, he smashed my phone to the ground and then I took his fanny pack--

Fatou: Hey, where is everyone?

Nora: Nobody else came.

Fatou: But Kieu My and the rest posted it in their stories, didn’t they?

Nora: We’re the others.

Fatou: Oh...

Ava: Yep. We’re not the party, we’re the abi committee. You swapped the addresses.

Fatou: Fuck.

Mailin: Hey guys, we have to go to that parking lot immediately.

Fatou: Yes!

Ava: No! We’re the abi committee and you are?

Mailin: I know, I’m Mailin. I saw what they posted in their stories. We can’t let them do that! They’re drinking away all the money from our year! We have to stop them somehow.

Ava: Okay. How?

Mailin: I have an idea. Constantin and Ismail and everyone, they can wrap it up. Are you coming?

Ava: Let’s go, hm?

Nora: Alright, let’s go.

Nora: Hey!

Ismail: Oh, look at that.

Zoe: Nora!

Ismail: You’re hanging out with her now?

Nora: With Ava? Yes.

Finn: Do you want a beer?

Ismail: Shut up.

Ava: Little bit of a 90′s village festival, here on the parking lot, don’t you think?

Constantin: What do you want?

Fatou: Your souls.

Mailin: It’s just really rude what you’re doing here. Anyone who saw the story can come over and steal the money.

Constantin: Don’t be annoying.

Ismail: If you want your 10 € back, go on. But let us have fun here.

Nora: Wow, you guys are so cool. I see 10 people showed up! 

Zoe: Nora... let it be.

Nora: Man, no! You’re not ruling over our whole fucking year. You’re in school acting like you’re the absolute greatest and are dragging other people down only because you have an inferiority complex. I’m not part of this anymore.

Mailin: Woo! Okay guys, I got the money!

(* Späti: convenience store in Berlin)

[albino-whumpee]

Fix me

Anonymous asked:

28. for Albus

Sorry for taking this long for this one!! Hope you like it

Taglist: @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @giggly-evil-puppy @cowboysrappin @haro-whumps @burtlederp @neuro-whump @comfortforthepain @whumps-the-word @whole-and-apart-and-between @broken-horn @ashintheairlikesnow @rosesareviolentlyread @crowned-avery @starnight-whump @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @as-a-matter-of-whump  @whumpasaurus101 @grizzlie70 @boxboysandotherwhump

CW// Institutionalized whump, pet whump, box boy universe blanket warning, heavy dehumanization, human trafficking, slavery, manipulation, brain washing, whumper as caretaker, PTSD, dissoci@tion, fucky mind space of abuse survivor and implied torture.

Harry Coleman didn´t particularly hated his job. It payed well despite the crazy long shifts and the strict protocols to go back to his apartment close to the city. He didn´t have many people outside the concrete building to care about, however. So he mostly stayed in the handler rooms the company kept around available inside the facility, mostly used by the Romantic division handlers.

Harry had been working enough years to see all types of trainees. The ones that had come banging and screaming, the ones that were so fearful that they complied and the ones that he rolled his eyes whenever they appeared. The real volunteers. The ones that looked so broken already and obeyed without really needing to be told how.

He hated the blank stares, the commands flawlessly followed. If there wasn´t a single inch of defiance for him to take out, what was the point? It made it too easy, and there was always, always, screaming.

He had been assigned to a handful of volunteers before, and hated every second of it. The ones that didn´t get an owner soon enough would stay on a limbo of the basic training until they were sold and the designation specific training started.

When he saw his new trainee get his number tattooed, red eyes lost in infinity, curling on the floor with a blanket with the lower half of his body bandaged up, he knew he was one of those.

He knew before he began screaming.

The intercommunicator on his shoulder was still buzzing after he was warned the trainee was acting up on his room again. Room… He could laugh about that. The trainee rooms were hardly bigger than a closet, really. They were always kept on the verge of claustrophobia… He brushed the thougt aside like always. Focused on his task.

Harry had been ordered to take him to the Drip again, with the reason that he might be relapsing. Memories not quite yet wiped out of him stopping the progress of his training.

Whatever trauma he´s dragging, his body remembers, even if his brain forgets. So it’s obvious everything in training is gonna trigger him, idiots. If you stopped letting whoever inside my job would be much easier! The thought came from somewhere inside his brain, yet again, putting it aside to be what they were paying him to be: the watcher keeping the product on check until shipping.

He had never had the intention of being anything else.

He stomped his way through the hall of metal doors to the seventeenth, pulled his card to the lector, hearing the wry cries of a kid terrified of another nightmare loud enough for the sound to slip through the supposedly, sound canceling walls.

The albino, with his hair clipped short now, with the shock collar wrapped around his throat, recoiled in the corner with an eerie cry when he saw him enter. His eyes jumped and trembled along his sickly thin body when Harry stepped closer.

“P-Please! Pl-ple- no! Stop, please!” the boy begged him curling tighter into himself, trying to protect himself from the steel point of the man´s boots. Or maybe something else, as he lifted his hands to cover his face as well. “Coronel please! Don´t touch her!”

The man took a deep breath and lowered himself, crouching to be on the same level. “Easy, trainee. Easy. I´m Handler Coleman. I won´t hurt you” Now at least, Harry thought to himself watching his face soaked in tears. Soothing them when necessary was just as part of his job as it was to break them “C´mon, I´m handler Harry, ´900. There´s only the two of us here. Tell me, ´900, where are you now?”

He knew the lost look on this one already. Had seen it plenty of times. Most of the them, it meant the trainee wasn´t present. Not really here. Just reliving something from his past that overlapped with the training, mixed up with whatever he had been dreaming about.

The boy´s breathing was labored and harsh. Wide, terrified eyes looked back at him weighting his words -processing them, maybe- and after a moment of hesitation he replied with a shaky voice “T-Trainee room, s-se-seventeen”

“That´s right” Harry said making a vague gesture with his hand “Do you see anybody else here with us?” the boy looked around, surprise and fear equally scattered on his face before shaking his head. “Words trainee”.

“No, sir. Only us” the boy rushed to answer. Harry took a step forward and the boy flinched away. “P-Please…”

“Relax boy, nothing has to hurt if you let me help you” the man saw him gulp as he took another step. Watched the boy shake violently trying to prevent himself from flinching away from his gloved hand. Harry retreated it to his lap, watched him for one more second.

Thin and small and battered, was what the albino trainee was. The bandages on his thighs peaked slightly from underneath his shorts, changed every day to check up the scarring. If he wasn´t bought to be a romantic then it would be no problem, he had been told.

The handler looked back up to meet the boy´s wide terrified eyes settled on him. Chest rising up and down too quickly.

“Give me your hands” the man ordered and the boy put his over the gloved hands that were never warm. He held them tight and put his best unthreatening voice “Breath boy, you´ve not earnt a punishment” he half lied watching the boy take big, desperate gasping breaths through the snot and tears. “There you go, easy. Go with me” he began to breath, and soon enough, the other joined him and relaxed, almost slouching over him from the tiredness.

“Thank you” the boy said to him in a hoarse voice. He checked below the shock collar and saw the bruise on his neck had already faded to a smear of yellow. The albino squeezed his hands before the man yanked them back. The boy quickly pulled his hands to his chest defensively. Knowing the baton on the man´s hip could swat them over if he decided he had done wrong at any moment.

“900, you know you shouldn´t scream”

“I´m sorry” the boy jumped to reply, panic taking over for a moment “I didn´t mean- I´m sorry. I know…But I-” Harry saw the trainee cast his eyes down, Looking through the bangs that fell over his face “I think I saw someone I remembered in…” he opened his mouth but never finished the thought.

“Trainees often have false memories, 900. You should know that” The man said, watching the boy hunch, sink on his narrow shoulders.

“B-but I have a feeling this one is real, Handler” he said barely above a whisper.

“How could you know?” Coleman said coldly, watching him press his lips into a tight line “Those memories don´t serve any purpose now, either. You don´t have a name any longer, 778900. Those memories don´t belong to you anymore”

“I-I know but-”

“If you know, then why are you arguing with me about it, 778900? You´re lying”

“I´m not lying!”

Coleman arched an eyebrow, “You´re talking back at me now?”

“N-No, I´m sorry, sir. I just-”

“Don´t bother apologizing” the man terminated, the boy´s jaw shut close in surrender. No fun at all, the man thought to himself. He still had to take him to the Drip as well… “There´s no need to worry, boy. Look what remembering does to you. Do you really need them?” He asked him, seeing him tense up and open his mouth. “The memories, they are terrifying aren´t they?” he interrupted him.

“Yes, sir…”

“Why would you want them, then?”

The boy stayed quiet and started rounding his thumbs before he settled his hand over them, before putting the other gloved on his cheek as he looked again with glassy eyes.

“Are you afraid of losing those memories, trainee? You came to have a better life. You chose this path for yourself. You wanted this when you signed to never again think for yourself. You chose leaving that to someone else and not having to worry about anything else″ he wiped the tears flowing down his cheek, already pink and shiny “What happened before is not important now, 900″ he said tilting his head as the boy let his hands fall to his lap. Still, like he was trained to, “We can fix you. Make it better for you. But you´ve gotta let go, yes?”

“How broken I was that now I only can hope to forget everything. Even the good.” he whispered under his breath and the boy could´ve sounded sharp and impress Coleman, but his voice was barely a murmur of something, or someone, who had that sharpness on them but at some moment, gave it up.

Harry Coleman had done nothing but to help that detachment.

“We just want the best for you” so we get payed just as well, Coleman kept to himself.

The boy looked at him through his pale, wet eyelashes with something close to hope. The naive hope of “better” the company made them aspire to within the cold walls of the facility and the exhaustion, plain to the view on his face. It was in order to make them be so grateful to whoever takes them out, they never think they could deserve something better than a mat on the floor and warm, not tasteless food, every now and then.

In Harry Coleman´s eyes there was never an inch of true mercy, of true empathy towards his trainees when he smiled.

Sooner or later, this trainee would understand that too. But for now, he bowed to him and begged.

“P-Please…” the boy said in an strangled sob “Please fix me”

The handler smiled and took the trainee to the drip. Even if he couldn´t stop shaking under his hand, his face was hopeful. The handler saw that look on him until the very moment he was restrained and the IV from the Drip was connected to the inside of his arm.

When 778900 closed his eyes, Coleman didn´t hear what he muttered. Voice too small to catch as trusted the technicians around him told him to wait outside until it was over.

The boy took a deep breath.

“Please help me forget everything” Were the words heard by no one before the Drip´s drug rushed a fire through his body. 

[csa-survivor-confessions]

? (question at the end)

I'm confused about a kink I have, which revolves around shame and humiliation. I'm asexual, while I like to look at porn and have a male preference, I masturbate mostly to stress and don't get turned on often.

This makes me even more confused because this kink is extremely arousing to me.

It scares me because I know I have some sexual trauma in childhood I can't remember properly, I feel that it's somehow related. It's weird because I have no evidence, but based on what I know, it really seems that way. Regardless, engaging in this kink or the thougt of it isn't "fun" like other sexual scenarios, I'm not sure how it feels, but it's really strange.

I don't really feel "good" when I'm in this situation, it's more like hunger, I'm trying to push it, it's like I'm in a sort of transe where I'm so obsessed with it that nothing else matters.

It's almost as if I'm going through a traumatizing sexual experience again.

My question is, is this harmful? Should I stop doing this?

And if it is unsafe, how could I handle getting aroused in this way by accident?

Hello,

It sounds like your not really dealing with something that your body is considering sexual in a healthy way that would promote well being.

The arousal linked to things connected to your trauma is very common. It happens like this because when we were traumatized at a very young age and/or for a long period of time our brain wires abusive behaviours like degradation with the pathways for sex and sexual physiology.

Feeling checked out and like you must have more stimuli at the same time makes. You're dealing with re-awaking trauma responses. Like you said it feels like re-traumatizing which it likely is.

Obsessive thoughts to the point you can't think of anything other than these sexual things could be related to hypersexuality. With hypersexuality, the sexual acts don't have to be pleasant just obsessive and/or compulsive. (Symptoms Explainer: What is Hypersexuality?)

Masturbation that you do as a stress reliever versus for pleasure can be really common as it can releses chemicals in the body that are calming. It can also become compulsive not for feeling good but because it is sexual and that itself makes you want to do it.

So overall it does sound like it's harming you.

In The Moment:

I would suggest caring around something groundings like a fidget toy or even just cold water to drink (has to be cold). these can redirect sensory input.

Redirect your behaviour away from the info that is triggering your arousal in a negative way. Look at something completely different as best you can and focus on that instead. You can switch to something the opposite of sexy for you.

Changing Bhevaiour:

As for changing the behaviour, you can look into coping skills for intrusive and obsessive thoughts to try and counteract the need you have to focus on these situations.

Coping Skills: Obsessive Thoughts

Coping Skills: Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts

If you can counteract the compulsive aspect you can try and reduce the amount of time you spend engaging with the kink. Find something that brings up strong emotions in other ways. I would also suggest finding coping skills that can bring you feelings of arousal (non-sexual kind) that can help you find something else you can do outside of masturbation.

Do some reflecting on what you want your sexuality to look like and what kind of things can get you feeling sexually good that don't cause these knock-on negative effects. Focous on this can give you a goal to work towards.

Learning better coping skills overall can help break those trance like states where you can feel anything but the stimuli. Coping Skills Masterposts: Panic Attacks, Flashbacks & Dissociation

You can work to heal and get to a better place where you no longer have to deal with re-traumatizing yourself and have healing sexual acts

Be Blessed,

Admin 1