#I also imagine dazai seeing chuuya after all those years

[snowyleopardess]

I don't have the confidence to write it, but eeeurgh I'm being haunted by skk daemon AU

No one at the ADA has ever seen Dazai's daemon, and he always gives 'mysterious' answers or jokes when asked. A lot of people just assume it's small, like an insect, and learn to ignore it. Sometimes interacting with Dazai can be hard, their own daemon awkwardly standing around, unable to connect their hearts. Every interaction with Dazai has a shallow feeling. He kinda creeps regular people out.

Chuuya's daemon never really seemed to suit him. Any time he met new people, there would always be a split second where they paused when they looked at chuuya's daemon. It wasn't scary or concerning, just...off somehow. Like a puzzle piece you can make fit but doesn't line up right with the picture right.

The thing is- Chuuya doesn't actaully have a daemon. Dazai left his daemon with Chuuya when he left. Chuuya doesn't even remember his daemon... if he ever had one. (more fuel to the poor guys' clone trauma)

I'm thinking crow for the daemon, very smart and capable animal, and it seems to suit Dazai.

But I've also thought of an... elephant. They're smart too, but also the sight of Chuuya using his gravity to float his daemon up to the window of whatever building he's in so they're not left out makes me want to cry laugh. You always know where Chuuya is because of the fucking elephant floating outside the building. Chuuya's even more powerful in this AU from constant practice floating the elephant and having to deal with more attacks because people always know where he is.

I've also thought of a bat, but more just because Chuuya would look so fucking cute with a bat hanging off his hat taking a nap.

Still not sure if the daemon should be male or female.

Dazai has always kept his daemon at arms' length, physically and metaphorically. He separated from his daemon at a very young age. Seeing dark era Dazai without a daemon made him even more terrifying.

Dazai hates his daemon. He never seemed to feel comfort from his daemons like others did, he never seemed to feel much of anything around them. His daemon could be even more stoic then him. Daemons were supposed to be beings of emotion, the manifestation of your heart. So Dazai resented them. In his worst moments, he even hurt his own daemon himself just to feel

s o m e t h i n g.

But Dazai was right- his daemon is the manifestation of his heart. His heart is just so hurt. It can't hide like the human half of him can. So his daemon is very quiet and avoidant. Dazai hates that vulnerability being on display.

But there are some times that Dazai feels through his daemon. And that's when Chuuya touches them so gently. Chuuya is absolutely fascinated with daemons because he never had one. Dazai was never one to uphold boundaries or social rules, so he practically goads Chuuya into touching his daemon after an accidental brush one time. He's reminded that he even has a heart, because it feels warm, not just numb. Chuuya loves his daemon so much. Chuuya's touch is so addicting its terrifying, but it chases away the crushing apathy for just a moment.

So when Dazai leaves, he leave his daemon with Chuuya. Chuuya's so panicked at first, what does it mean when someone gives you their heart but still leaves you?

So he loves and cares for Dazai's daemon like Dazai couldn't. And Dazai's heart and mind finally start to heal.

[nomazee]

Silly little thing I thought of

Like like imagine dazai and the reader have been friends for years like the reader knew him since his 15 goofer era... and they got used to eachother sm they usually sleep in eachothers beds n stuff :3

LIKE SOMETHING IS GOING ON BUT THEY STILL HAVE THE FRIENDSHIP LABEL.. 🐺🤞

this concept stuck itself in my head like a tapeworm and it has not escaped me for days IM ACTUALLY OBSESSED i wrote SO MUCH for this omfg i had so much fun writing this thank u for this wonderful idea pairing: dazai x gn reader word count: 2.5k content: fluff, vignette-style writing, friends-to-lovers unspoken label type of thing, soft dazai, domestic fluff without the marriage bit, banter, idiots in love im taking requests!

===

Dazai’s toes are still as frigid at night as they were seven years ago. You, of all people, would be the best person to measure this—not in a weird way, but you two have shared a bed at least once a week since your teenage years. You know all of Dazai’s annoying sleeping habits, including his ones of sleeping without socks and digging his feet into your shins for warmth. 

Annoying fucker. You sigh, batting his arm away from its loose hold around your waist. “Get your toes off of me,” you croak out, half-conscious and mind still addled with the remains of your once-deep sleep.

“What toes,” Dazai mutters back, smacking your intervening hand away and returning his arm to its rightful place around you. “I don’t have toes. I got rid of them after puberty, ‘member?” 

“I’m gonna kill you.” You won’t, not really, and the threats have lost their edge after all these years, but it’s fun to throw at him when he annoys you like this. “I know all your weaknesses, Osamu. One wrong move and you’ll be missing more than just your toes.” 

“I’m cold, dear. Would you really let me freeze like this? So mean.” 

You try not to choke up at the nickname. He’s been a fan of those recently, at least in the last year. You think it has something to do with your new places at the Agency. New workplace, new life, and new nicknames, apparently. If you overthink it you might puke on him and fall back asleep. 

“Not cruel. We have money now, you know. Go buy yourself socks. Wool, or something. Stupid ass cold ass toes.”

He goes quiet. Even in all these years of knowing him, half-living with him, you can’t tell if it’s a normal lull in the conversation or a calculated pause. It doesn’t unnerve you as much as it used to, but there’s still a cold chill at the nape of your neck that springs up at times like these. 

“Why would I do that when I have you?” 

Dazai has also been a fan of this recently—strange uncharacteristic moments of tenderness. He peels himself back for you and bares himself raw. The implications make you nauseous. Swathed in the darkness of the night, he can’t see your fingers twitch from where they lay next to your head, away from his sight; or the conflicted expression that crosses your face. 

Easing your breath out into a steady, deep rhythm, you pretend to be asleep. It’s not like he can’t tell, but the message is there. Let’s not talk about this until the morning. Let’s just sleep for the night. Let’s keep what we have and not change it for the worse. 

==

At age eighteen, shaken with the death of his friend and haunted by blood stains on his fingers, Dazai defects from the mafia. 

He doesn’t take you with him—at least, he doesn’t mean to. He expects to leave quietly, or as quietly as blowing up Chuuya’s car can be. He doesn’t expect you to drag yourself along kicking and screaming. 

Dazai doesn’t remember much about specifics, but he knows that one day he was alone in his underground apartment and the next day you were there. The kitchen smelled like melted marshmallows and rice krispies and his dingy counter was covered in sprinkles. 

“Hi, Dazai,” you’d greeted conversationally. “I’m making your favorite.” 

He doesn’t even like rice krispie treats. Hates them, actually. 

In truth, your presence is less the result of you “kicking and screaming” and more like an after-effect of your own quiet stubbornness. Your kicking-and-screaming was done in the passive aggressive way that you cleaned his dishes and made his bed and left big trays of rice krispie treats in his fridge for the next week. 

Neither of you talked about Chuuya. It was better for you that way. 

On the first night, Dazai remembers you holding him from behind, forehead pressed into the stretch of skin between his neck and shoulder. He’s sensitive there despite being wrapped in his stupid scratchy bandaids. His memories for the rest of the night are overrun by a feeling of want, an itch to feel your fingers on his bare skin, a craving for your hand on his stomach to slide beneath the hem of his shirt and press into the tender skin of his abdomen and keep him warm.  

===

“Leave me alone,” you grumble from behind the sleeve of your jacket. “I’m napping.” 

“It’s not napping if you’re still awake.” 

“I wouldn’t be awake if it wasn’t for your annoying ass.” Rotating your body to face the ceiling from your place on the Agency’s couch, you sigh when your view is blocked by Dazai’s ugly stupid face. He’s smiling in that conniving way that he does when he’s about to do something super annoying. Another sigh escapes you when he leans down close enough for the overgrown ends of his hair to brush against your nose. The puff of air from your verbal discontent makes the strands sway slightly. You try not to think about how mesmerizing he looks when he’s this close, with the light from the window casting a golden sheen on the crown of his head. 

Since when did you get this sappy? Must be Dazai rubbing off on you, obviously. 

“So tired already! It’s barely noon.” 

“You came into work an hour ago. I’ve been here since eight. Try being responsible for a change, might exhaust you just as much.” 

“Hmm.” He tilts his head, big stupid shiny brown eyes blinking down at you like he’s observing a specimen. “I think I’m more than responsible enough.” 

“Sure,” you relent, turning back around to shove your face into the corner of the couch and block out the incoming light. It’s the truth—you’re exhausted. A persistent weariness permeates your bones from how much you’ve been working these last few weeks. It’s not like it’s anyone’s fault in particular, not even Dazai’s despite how much he slacks on paperwork. But looming threats from enemy organizations hang over everyone’s heads and there’s no shortage of uncertainty in the Agency. It’s been mission after mission for you, and you’re taking every break you can get. 

Rustling sounds from above you, but you pay it no mind, busying yourself with nestling all of your body into the crevices of the couch and hopefully turning into a piece of furniture yourself. It might be a more peaceful life, really. The calm is short-lived when you feel fingers tap along your cheek—not in a rousing gesture, but something along the lines of placating. 

Dazai squeezes a hand beneath your head and cups the side of your face pressed against the couch, tilting it closer to him before you feel a warm press of lips against your cheek. He lingers. He always does. You can feel the gentle inhales and exhales breeze against your face before he breaks his kiss away. Your cheek is warm for more reasons than one. 

“Take care of yourself,” and oh, god, you’ll never get used to this, never get used to how tender and soft he’s become with you, never get used to how this Agency has fostered something like kindness in both of you. Your stomach stirs with something unnamed and if you were braver, you’d blink your eyes open and reach up and grab the sides of his face and pull him down to you. 

But you’re not brave, and there’s people still behind you in the office, and you wonder what led Dazai to be soft enough to kiss your face like that in front of everyone. You’re sure they’re watching you both. The Agency is full of gossips, whether they admit it or not. 

===

“Dazai,” Ango Sakaguchi grits out from behind the crackling reception of a burner phone. “They were not a part of the plan.” 

“You think I don’t know that, Ango?” Dazai replies, tone more playful than aggressive. “I know they’re not a part of the plan. They knew they weren’t part of the plan, too. But it’s too late to do anything about it. It’s just a minor change.” 

“A minor change?” Ango’s voice is strained with stress, no doubt pulling out strands of his hair as they speak. “I have to deal with not one, but now two members of the mafia defecting. Do you know how much work this was to begin with?” 

The thing is—of course Dazai knows. He knows everything. The minute he found you in his kitchen, his stomach dropped with the uncertainty of the future. Going underground with another person was nothing short of a burden, at least on paper. But, he couldn't find it in himself to think of you like that. Like a burden. 

“We’ll figure it out, Ango. If you don’t, then we will.” 

A gritty sigh sounds from the other side of the phone call. “I’m putting a lot of faith in you, Dazai. Don’t screw this up.” 

===

“Made you lunch. Since, obviously, you’re not gonna do that for yourself any time soon.” 

A closed plastic container is thrown on the counter in front of Dazai. He looks at it, then up at you, eyebrow raised as if he doesn’t have a clue what this could be about. He’s not that stupid, though. You of all people would know that. 

“How nice of you! Too bad I’m not hungry.” His lip juts out in a poor imitation of a pout, and he looks ugly with it. So ugly. Ugly enough to make you feel the need to kiss him all over and then slap him. An incredulous huff escapes you. 

“I don’t care if you’re hungry. Eat. It has crab in it, see, your favorite.” 

“I thought my favorite was rice krispies?” 

You freeze. It hadn’t occurred to you that he might remember that, after all this time. You don’t dwell, because that’s the worst thing to do with Osamu Dazai—dwell. 

“Don’t act stupid. Just eat it. Even if it’s not the whole thing, at least some of it. It would do you some good.” Getting serious with Dazai is one of the most awkward, unbearable things you could ever do. He has a way of making you feel stupid for worrying about him, with all his roundabout jokes and skills of evasion built up over years. You’ve found that being straightforward is the best way to avoid all those blank moments of silence. 

His fingers curl around the plastic lid and pop it open. The container is still warm, having cooked all its contents just half an hour before showing up at Dazai’s apartment with conviction in your eyes. “Sure,” he says. “I’ll have some.” 

You bring out a duplicate container with a serving for you, and treat yourself to a juice box from his fridge. You try not to launch into a lecture at the sight of his barren pantry—that’s best done by Kunikida. The both of you eat in silence, sitting across from each other at Dazai’s dusty kitchen island. 

He only gets through a few bites before pushing the container away and complaining about how full he is. You know it’s not the truth, but it’s the mixed-up signals that his body sends him. It’s not that he’s full, but his persistent lack of appetite has caused a lot of troubles for him in the past and you don’t doubt that it’ll keep causing troubles in the future, too. 

“Let’s get you to bed, then,” you tell him, dragging him up from his chair despite his whining protests. “I won’t make you shower, but you should probably do that tomorrow, ‘cause your hair’s about to get all greasy and disgusting.”

“So crude.” 

“I do my best.” 

You let him change on his own, but not before picking out a nice soft set of matching pajamas from deep inside his closet. You grumble a little in annoyance. The set was a birthday gift you got for him a year ago and that asshole pushed it to the back of his wardrobe and never touched it again. What a brat. You throw a pair of fuzzy socks at him to boot. 

Once he’s changed into proper sleep clothes, you can tell that the exhaustion is starting to hit him. He sways a little on his feet and his blinks last for a little too long, as if he’s chasing sleep every time his eyes shut. With another begrudging sigh, you set him down on the floor of the bathroom and dollop his toothbrush with fruity kid’s toothpaste—because of course that’s the only toothpaste he owns—and brush his teeth for him. 

Dazai dozes off in the middle of it, and you can’t bring yourself to wake him up in the most annoying way possible. You try really, really hard to not think about how soft you’ve gotten. You’re an ex-mafia member, past coated with dark stains and entrails and death, all of those dark things. Your blood is just as black as Dazai’s, if not more. And yet, being a part of this stupid Detective Agency with this stupid man has melted you down into something parallel to good.

Don’t dwell. It’ll do you no good. 

You use a gentle grip with the toothbrush, ensuring that his delicate gums don’t tear with the force of the bristles. A warm feeling stirs in your chest. It feels like you’ve proven something, like you’ve proven to the world that your coal-stained hands can be gentle, too. You can kill and you can nurture. You tap Dazai awake with a little more care, now. 

“Rinse your mouth,” you tell him in a whisper. “Then you can sleep.” And after a pause, you add, “I promise,” because now you’re in the business of making promises to people. 

Dazai rinses his mouth, and you wipe off the remaining droplets of water from his face with a paper towel that you leave on the counter for your future self to throw out. You lace your fingers with his as you walk to his bed. Not that he needs any guiding. Of course he doesn’t. It’s just a little extra insurance, you think. 

“Stay with me,” he mumbles out the minute you lay him down on the bed. It’s a sentence, and not a question, because he’d rather die than ask you something so vulnerable. He’s doing it again—peeling himself back and baring himself raw for you. Your head swims and your vision blurs with either a migraine or with tears, you can’t tell. But your lips quirk up into a stupid smile and he sees it despite his half-lidded eyes, and he smiles back like the stupid dope that he is. 

“Yeah, of course. I’m right here, Osamu. Go to sleep.” 

And he does. Of course, not before he feels you cup the opposite side of his face and plant a warm, lingering kiss on the swell of his cheek just as he did for you weeks before. The faint laugh that he lets out before he falls asleep is enough to tell you that he’ll be making fun of you for it in the morning. For now, though, he’s soft and pliant and warm between your hands, and you sleep.

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku!Sister Ch9

Chapter 9: "You Are Not A Good Man"

Summary: Dazai fights between the darkness of what he has always known and what Odasaku wanted for him. Oda's sister finally meets Chuuya, our favorite angry ginger.

Warning: pm! fifteen year old dazai, Dazai self destructing, Odasaku death mentions, Dazai torturing himself and everyone around him, manipulative behavior from both sides, Mori mentions and grooming themes, underage drinking, talks of suicide, pm! fiftten year old Chuuya being a good boy. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.

(This is chapter nine of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Oda's death has been moved up to when Dazai is fifteen for plot purposes. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 7k total

Moving down the familiar port mafia base, Dazai shoved his hands inside his pocket begrudgingly, his feet shuffling as he thought about the annoying conversation he was probably going to have. 

Yet the one thing that occupied his mind the most was the red haired dork he had left behind. 

And yeah, the last thing he probably should’ve done was leave Oda’s sister unattended in a port mafia owned building, knowing that she had a habit of not following directions and staying put. She had run away from Ango three weeks ago after all, what was to stop her from doing the same thing here?

It was no secret that she liked to cause trouble, in more ways than one.

But unlike the agent, Dazai didn’t underestimate her. Yes, leaving her alone wasn’t preferable but he also knew that she was fully capable of handling herself if someone did decide to step out of line and mess with her. Hell, she could probably outsmart and kick the asses of every incompetent subordinate in the building if she wanted. 

The truth was, she didn’t need his protection, not in the way that Ango thought she did. Asagao was calculating when she wanted to be, even if she was limited by the effects of alcohol currently. She was still a force to be reckoned with and the boy wasn’t worried in the slightest at the fact that he had just left her in a den of wolves. 

And in some sort of way, the boy looked at this little opportunity as a kind of test, wanting to see just how the girl would react to his way of life. Most people wouldn’t have been able to handle his port mafia lifestyle but Asagao, he knew that she could.

And not only that, he knew that she could thrive in it if given the opportunity. 

Was it wrong to think that though? Was it fucked up to hope that she would be in danger while he was gone just so he could see the full extend of her capabilities? That was probably not something a good person was supposed to do, but what could he say? The situation was too perfect to pass up. 

Humming to himself at the thought, Dazai then frowned at the shift in air only to vaguely feel a burst of air approach from his left, causing the boy to quickly duck in order to just merely miss a kick in his direction. “You piece of shit, there you are! I’m gonna kill you!” 

Already groaning at the sound of his voice, the brown haired mafioso simply closed his eyes before turning in order to meet a very familiar head of ginger

Ah, right on cue. “Aww Chuuuuya, did you miss me that much? And thanks for the offer but dying by your hand doesn’t really interest me at all.” 

Watching Chuuya shake his head in exasperation, the boy grumbled back, clearly bursting at the seams from unkempt anger the entire day. “Shut up! You left me alone to take down those losers by myself. Do you know how outnumbered I was because you decided to ditch?!” 

Dazai only raised an eye though, mocking his pathetic partners immediately.. “Oh boo hoo, I thought the famous gravity manipulator could handle a few measly thugs, but it looks like you are more incompetent than I thought if you’re complaining about this much. Pity, I thought you were at least a little useful to me..” 

The boy then shrugged his shoulders only for his partners to immediately wrap his gloved hand around Dazai’s jacket in order to shake him around as usual. “Screw you, I did take down all those idiots by myself! They didn’t stand a chance!”  

Dazai then replied halfheartedly, his finger in his ears in order to block out the ringing from Chuuya’s shouting. “Then what’s the problem? The job was done, wasn’t it? Unless you just like yelling to hear yourself talk?” 

That only seemed to make the hot headed mafioso even more angry though, his fingers tightening on his partner's jacket before yelling even louder than before. “The problem is that you ditched for nothing just to make me look like an idiot!” 

Scoffing in response, Dazai smirked. “Oh Chuuya, you don't need my help for that, you do that to yourself..” 

Then the bandaged boy simply lifted his hands out in defense before smiling in wistful memory of today's events. “And if you must know, I was very busy. I told you, I promised a lovely young lady a good time. What kind of man would I be to deny such a wonderful request?” 

Dazai then thought back to the adorably drunk Asagao that was waiting for him back at his apartment. And though he loved pissing off Chuuya, tonight this was the last place he wanted to be. 

Closing his eyes in exasperation, Chuuya then caught the silence in his idiot partner's gloat before forcing himself to let go of the boy with a grumble.  “Listen, I don’t care about what kind of fucked up disgusting shit you do in your free time or what kind of brain damaged girls you manipulate for your own selfish whims. Just know that if you pull that shit again, you’re gonna regret it.” 

Dazai only raised an eye in amusement though. Calling Asagao brain damaged, what a way with words he had. It’s like he was implying that he was forcing her to date him. If only Chuuya knew just how wrong he was, about how opposite he had everything.

How would he react to knowing that Asagao was the one who pushed him into this relationship? That for once, it wasn’t the demon that had made the contract but rather the angel. 

So much so, the mafioso felt his lips curve upwards before a short chuckle escaped his lips at the idea, causing Chuuya’s head to turn in angry confusion. “What? What the hell are you laughing about, mackerel? What’s so damn funny?” 

Shrugging his shoulders in response, the boy then forced his lips closed before shaking the thought away. Nah, this slug didn’t deserve to know about her, at least not yet. “Oooh it’s nothing. But really, you’re so scary Chuuuya. I’m practically shaking from fear..” 

Then all at once, he watched the red haired kid start to get wound up again, his words practically seething through his teeth in order to point a finger in his direction. “I mean it, dickhead! I’m watching you..” 

Dazai only rolled his eyes though, responding in a millisecond. “How can you watch anything? You can't even see that high..” 

And just like that, the momentary calm was broken as Dazai watched Chuuya’s control completely snap, much to his satisfaction. “Fucking basard..!” 

Yet that’s when a new voice seemed to enter the space, stunning the two bickering children immediately as he strolled up behind them rather unbothered. “Dazai, there you are.” 

Widening his eyes, Chuuya then turned to the voice before immediately falling to his knees in a sign of respect as Dazai simply remained silent. “Boss..” 

Mori simply nodded his head in return, unbothered by the bickering he had just witnessed. “Ah, Chuuya, you’re here too. Seems like you two are just as explosive as ever.” 

Crossing his arms over his chest in a huff, Dazai frowned, knowing that the reason he was stuck with this little brat was because of the boss in the first place. “It’s your fault for making me deal with something so unpleasant all the time.” 

The port mafia boss didn’t seem bothered in the slightest thought, his lips giving a cruel short chuckle before seemingly getting right to business. “Yes, well I suppose you’re right. Now Chuuya, if you would excuse us. I must speak to Dazai alone.” 

Almost immediately, Chuuya responded, his body snapping back up before giving another small bow of his head in response. Whatever the boss wanted, he would gladly do. 

Besides, it finally got him away from the bandaged bane of his existence, and that was a blessing in itself. “Yes boss, of course..” 

The boy then turned around only for Dazai’s mocking gaze to follow his steps before calling back to him all at once, almost like he wanted the last victory. “See you, Chuuuuya. Maybe the next time we meet you’ll be able to reach the top shelf! I highly doubt it though, petite mafia!” 

All at once, Chuuya felt his eyes twitch, his fingers curving through the leather of his gloves in order to force his feet to continue to move and obey their boss’s wishes. But that didn���t stop him from muttering cruel obscenities inside his head all the same. 

Stupid annoying little prick, picking on my size like that. He’s lucky the boss is here or else he’d be dead! God, I hate him so fucking much!! Why did I have to be stuck with a guy like him?! 

And even though his threats were unsaid, Dazai still gained a sense of satisfaction from them, his lips twisting into silent victory as he watched his favorite little toy stomp away. 

------

Mori led the boy straight to his office as Dazai watched him descend into his usual chair, virtually unbothered in order to turn towards his favorite little executive with his usual calm and collected smile. “Now Dazai, could you please share with me why you were absent from the job I assigned to you and Chuuya today?” 

And although his smile was seemingly unbothered, Dazai sensed the threatening aura that always laid beneath. Too bad for him though, the boy was never shaken by his attempts of intimation.

Because of that, Dazai simply shrugged his shoulders, his own lips showing hidden intent, like he was up for the challenge. “Easy, cause it was boring and I didn’t wanna.” 

The port mafia boss only frowned though, his expression dropping to a disappointed pout in order to lace his fingers under his chin. 

Perhaps to anyone else his response would’ve been seen as unacceptable, but Mori already knew Dazai’s cruel mannerisms like the back of his hand. “Now that’s not very nice. I thought we had an understanding between each other when I offered you the executive position.” 

His voice came out scolding, like you would do to an unruly child but the executive knew better to take his words at face value and think it was that simple. Nothing about Mori was simple after all, he had learned that the day they had first met. 

Because of that, the bandaged menace called him out on it, Dazai’s fingers crossing around his own arms with a huff. “Oh please, we both know the real reason why you offered me that job. It was so you could keep an eye on me and protect your dirty little secret.” 

And for a moment, Mori paused, seemingly taking in his answer before his fingers dropped from his chin with a simple nod. “Right you are, Dazai. You are the only one that knows the truth after all. That I killed the precious boss and took his place.” 

Normally the man wouldn’t have ever admitted such a thing but he knew it was pointless to continue the charade, especially since it was Dazai that had figured out his true intentions long ago. 

Why he had given him the position of executive, why he held the boy so highly, it wasn’t without reason. 

Dazai only nodded back though, his eyes rolling in exasperation. “And I’m your accomplice for it all, I was the only witness to the previous boss’s demise.  I know I know. I get it already. If you’re really that worried about it then you should just silence me permanently and get it over with.”  

It was something that had tied the two together long ago. Dazai could still remember it like it was yesterday, the day his tiny little eyes accidentally caught the sharp metal scalpel as it slid across the previous port mafia boss’s throat. 

After the event it was concluded that the old boss’s will was for Mori to take over but only he and Mori knew the truth, that the doctor had lied to the entire place in order to take the boss’s position. 

And since that day Mori had regarded the two of them as partners in crime, always reminding the boy of his place in all of this over and over again like a broken record.

It was almost like he was worried that Dazai would ruin everything with just the slip of a tongue. Instead he used that little secret to try and tie him down to his side. 

Mori simply waved the idea away though, almost like he had already read the boy’s mind. “Don’t be silly. There would be no benefit to kill you like that. If I really wanted you dead then it would already be done. I’ve already stopped multiple of your suicide attempts in the past year, I’m not going to let all that taxing work go to waste.” 

You see, that was one thing the port mafia boss had figured out fairly quickly. For as much as he wanted all the loose ends of his little evil deed erased, the man knew it wasn’t that simple.

In a sick way, he needed Dazai, he needed him to keep their little lie going because with the boy gone, the old boss’s members would suspect him of the murder. 

But that was easier said than done. When he had proposed his little plan Mori thought he was tying himself to a sad pathetic weak and stupid suicidal kid that he could manipulate to his own hand. 

Yet almost instantly the doctor realized he had made a mistake, a grave miscalculation on his part. 

For you see, Mori had learned very quickly that a monster like Dazai couldn’t be tied down. He couldn’t be manipulated as easily as he first thought. And now by putting himself in this deal he had also undoubtedly tied himself to an evil even he himself couldn’t predict. 

But then again, that also made everything all the more enticing. 

Dazai only pouted his lips though, not liking his annoying response. He knew that the guy had stopped his fair share of attempts and the boy still wasn’t happy about it. “Boo. You’re no fun, Mori.” 

Mori waved his childish manner away though, his eyes planning in clear calculation in order to go for the nearby teapot that was just out of reach. “Everything I’ve done has been for the benefit of this organization. I will always do what I think is best for the port mafia, and that includes the assassination of the precious boss. A change of power was necessary, and when the time comes for another change, I will allow the transition wholeheartedly.”

The bandaged boy then watched as the boss tipped over the pot into his cup as Dazai truly thought about the meaning of his words. Was he saying what he thought he was? Was the guy really that dedicated to the mafia? 

Narrowing his eyes, the boy questioned curiously. “So you’re saying that you’ll allow someone to murder you in cold blood and take your position just like you did with the old boss?”

It was an interesting idea, being aware of your own humanity and your own imminent demise. Was that how Mori lived his life, knowing it was a fleeting moment, that he was just a small chess piece in the grand scheme of the port mafia’s legacy?

Mori then closed his eyes, thinking about Dazai’s accusation before simply putting the teapot down onto the table in order to turn back towards the clueless boy with a knowing look. “Precisely. But only if it is someone worthy enough to do so. Everything has a time and a place, and when that moment arrives, my executioner will be hand picked by my own design.” 

The air was silent then but the boy could feel his skin prick with devious unknown intent as Mori stared through Dazai’s nonexistent soul for what seemed like forever.

 And though the kid was curious about his plan in all of this, the only thing that could stick in his mind was one perplexing thing. For someone so against suicide, you sure have thought a lot about your own death. What a hypocrite you are, old man. 

Yet before he could truly stew on the matter, Mori waved the idea away in order to change the subject completely, or so the boy thought at the time. “Now, onto other matters. How are you holding up? I’m sure Oda Sakunosuke’s tragic death has taken quite a toll on you. It truly was an unfortunate event after all.” 

At the sound of Oda’s name, Dazai then felt his entire body tense without permission, the words dying in his own throat all at once. Just the mere mention of his old friend was enough to make him internally unravel. 

And he suspected that was the point, that’s why Mori had brought him up. To gain a reaction, to put him in his place and take control of the conversation for the first time since their meeting. Dazai hated it, he hated the kind of power anyone had on him with just one simple name. 

So much so, the kid’s words came out bitter, not wanting to talk about this. “Why does it even matter to you? You don’t care that he’s gone. He was a low level lackey in the port mafia. Odasaku had no value to you.” 

Dazai knew that was the truth, Mori didn’t care. Because of Odasaku’s morals and his refusal to kill, his position in the mafia was bottom tier at best. He was the equivalent to an errant dog, doing odd jobs here and there. He meant nothing to the organization and therefore he meant nothing to Mori. 

That’s right, the boss was only bringing him up to get under Dazai’s skin, to make him squirm and act out. There was no other reason for it then to shove his own weakness straight into his face. 

Mori took the boy’s reply with a collective air though, almost like he knew the kind of response he would get. “That may be true, but he certainly had value to you, did he not?” 

And he did, to the boy, Odasaku was the most valuable person and thing to have ever existed. He was the closest thing to a friend or a family he had ever had. No one would be able to understand that, not even Oda’s own little sister. 

Feeling his own lips screw shut in order to hide an emotional reply, Dazai shoved his hands into his pockets with silent despair. He didn’t want to pour his non-existent heart out to Mori but he also didn’t want to lie and tell the man that Odasaku was insignificant. 

Because he wasn’t, he would never be. 

Mori eyed the reaction silently as well, his expression unchanging before finally looking away from the boy in order to stare down in silent thought. “I must say, you are taking everything quite well, better than I expected.”

There was something different in the man’s tone then, something that Dazai couldn’t quite pick out. It was like there was something else laced in that sentence, something that sounded like..disappointment? 

But why would Mori be disappointed in his reaction to all of this? 

Wanting to dig deeper, Dazai frowned. “And what did you expect?”

Mori then snapped his gaze back up before speaking distantly, like he was listing off some sort of checklist in his mind. “I expected that I’d be saving you from another suicide attempt, that I’d find you in some sort of ditch alone and broken beyond belief. That’s usually how people grieve the deaths of important friends and family.”

And for a moment, Dazai paused. Was that what he was supposed to be doing? Was that the proper response to grieve someone’s death? He didn’t know, considering the boy wasn’t anything resembling normal. 

He was already broken beyond belief though, even before Odasaku’s death. He had always been a sad amalgamation of what he should’ve been. How could you break what was already broken? How could the shattered be even more shattered? Perhaps it wasn’t possible. 

Perhaps he was too numb to feel any of that. 

But even Dazai knew that was a lie, that for a split second while holding his best friend’s dying body he had felt something. It had been what Mori had described for a split second. Grief, devastation, self-destruction, they twisted into him even more than before. 

He felt the painstaking loneliness stuck to his skin whenever he tried to move around Odasaku’s apartment, he felt the numb pointless burn of the alcohol when he only poured one drink instead of two. Such human emotions, in those small moments Dazai knew what they were, even if he didn't want to admit it. 

Yet if that was the case, why hadn’t he crumbled under it all? Why wasn’t his body succumbing to the pain of the loss? That’s what Mori expected, that’s what should’ve been the logical conclusion. Why hadn’t he given up all together and tried to kill himself again? 

Then all at once, the boy had his answer. 

Asagao. 

Oda’s little sister, she was the reason he was just barely hanging on these last few weeks. She had fed him letters, memories and moments that were so new to the boy that it felt like Odasaku hadn’t disappeared from this world entirely. 

Whether on purpose or not, she had given delusions to keep going, to wake up just in order to read another entry from his best friend’s fingers. Those letters, they meant everything to him. They were his lifeline, the boy depending on them just like Asagao did for her entire life. 

And yes they were fleeting, they were just temporary spells in the end. He knew that, he knew that one day there would be no more words to read and Dazai would have to face that. 

But not today, he didn’t have to do that today. 

He wondered if she knew that, if she knew just how important Odasaku’s writing was to him? That they were just barely keeping him afloat even now? 

And Asagao also, just her very presence filled a void that Dazai thought would never be filled again. Her living, breathing body, her tangible touchable skin, they filled his grief filled soul with a shaky wavering peace he knew wouldn’t last. 

She wasn’t the real thing, but she was close enough to Odasaku for him to keep trying.  To be a good man, a good person. That’s what both siblings wished, what they believed for him. 

And he wanted to do that, for them. 

Just then, Dazai’s internal thoughts were shattered as he heard Mori’s soft chuckle, the sound filling up the entire room in order for the man to sigh. “Then again, it should be expected that your reaction to grief and death would be different, considering you have always been different, Dazai.”

Not fully understanding, the boy then allowed him to continue, his voice coming out in a cruel edge. “Anyone else would look at you and see a child but you and I both know that’s never been the truth, not really. Not after all the blood and death you’ve shed over the years. Such an innocent yet simple term could never fit you.” 

Sure, by looks and hypotheticals Dazai was a fifteen year old boy but Mori knew that was no excuse to underestimate him. The boy was young, yes, but he had already seen far more evil and monstrosities than an old man. Each experience had twisted and changed him into something more complex than just a sniveling child.  

And Dazai agreed in a sense. He knew he wasn’t normal, he wasn’t like the happy and carefree Odasaku or Asagao. He never fit inside that box but in those moments with them the boy liked to pretend, to wish for another outcome then just the demon that resided in his heart.

This hopeful and trying side of him that he had displayed tonight with Asa, that wasn’t like him. He had never tried to be kind before, to give anyone anything like he had given her Bar Lupin.

And though it was selfish, Asa told him that it didn’t matter. That just the very act of trying was enough for her. It was so tiny so minuscule and yet Dazai wondered if that was truly enough? Could he really honor Oda like this? He wasn’t sure. 

But the fact that he hadn’t completely disregarded the idea, that he hadn’t given up yet was new. It felt almost human in a way, his desire to keep going and prove to Odasaku and Asagao that their words about him being a good man could be true.

He would pretend, he would imagine himself as something more than a monster. 

And maybe if he pretended hard enough, then someday it could be real. 

Realizing he needed to say something, Dazai then turned his head, curious to hear what a man like Mori would have to say on the topic. “If I’m not a kid than what am I?”

The boss had his answer immediately, seemingly countering the boy’s delusions with sharp truth. “Why, the demon prodigy of course. It’s what you've always been. Anyone else would be foolish to think otherwise.” 

It was like he was calling Dazai out with his words, like he was trying to shut down his silly little “pretending plan” but even still, the executive couldn’t abandon it. He didn’t want Mori to be right in any sense, but especially for this. 

Leaning back into his chair, Mori then smiled once more, the corners not reaching to the edge of his face before carrying on his thoughts. “Speaking of which, I’m in need of your help. Chuuya successfully completed today’s raid and we were able to capture one of their colleagues. The thing is, it seems like he needs a little more..persuasion..to tell us the rest of his plans..” 

Dazai knew what he meant immediately. Torture. He wanted him to be the demon prodigy and torture this guy for information.

And normally he would’ve jumped at the chance to play around with some pathetic enemies but Asagao was still waiting for him and he knew this job wasn’t going to be an easy one. “I see, and you want me to do it?”

Mori only nodded his head though, pushing his fingers back under his chin with a hum.“Think of it as your makeup assignment for missing the mission.”

Oh, so that’s how he was playing it. He was blackmailing him for missing that stupid boring raid by asking this. And Dazai knew that if he refused then Mori probably would look into the reason on why he missed the raid in the first place. 

And that would lead him back to the pretty little redhead that was in his apartment right now. Long story short, if he didn’t do this job, then there was a risk that Odasaku’s sister would be found out. 

He was giving him this option as a way out, as an alternative instead of digging into his life. And though the boy wanted so badly to counteract his little game, the risk was too great. Oda would be horrified if Asagao ended up in the port mafia.

Because of that, Dazai simply took his hands out of his pockets before smiling back in challenge, just to push his buttons. He couldn’t be too eager about this either, or else it would raise suspicion. “And if I say I don’t wanna?” 

Mori seemed to find amusement in the question though, his eyes narrowing in victory before reading his favorite port mafia executive immediately.

 “Oh, I think we both know that’s a lie.”

-----

Stomping his feet in pure lingering frustration, Chuuya made his way back to his place, still muttering under his breath because of the dipshit encounter with his least favorite person in the entire world. Fucking Dazai, always putting him a bad mood like this. 

What was that guy's problem anyways, always pissing him off like this? It’s like he enjoyed it or some shit. Hell, he probably did, that little asshole would. 

Thinking back to their unpleasant conversation, the boy then turned the corner before shaking his head with a new list of obscenities. 

Just what was that guy saying anyways? There was no way he was out with a girl all this time. What kind of brain dead freak would ever hang out with him anyways? Nah, he was bullshitting him, he had to be. 

Chuuya then turned back around in order to put his arms up in a huff only to feel his hand connect with something solid on accident as a small female groan was heard to his left. What the hell was that?

Yet that’s when the boy’s eyes widened as he caught the sight of a hunched over figure in front of him, the strangers hands covering their face as Chuuya felt his stomach dropped in guilt. Ah, shit, when did she get there!? He didn’t mean to hit her like that! 

Panicking almost immediately, Chuuya hunched over, his hands moving in all sorts of directions before speaking at a million miles a minute. “S-Shit, are you okay? You came out of nowhere. I didn’t see you.” 

The mystery girl only waved her only free hand away though, seemingly unbothered that the ginger had almost knocked her out. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. This happens a lot..” 

At that, Chuuya felt him raise an eye. “You getting hit in the face happens a lot?” 

 What the hell did that even mean? Why wasn’t this chick yelling at him like he deserved? He had just hit her, unintentionally or not he was still in the wrong. 

She only seemed to laugh though, finding humor in the sentence in order to lower her hand a little bit so he could see her large round framed glasses on her face. “Yeah ha ha..I don’t have the best eyesight…” 

And though the glasses were surprising, it didn’t change the facts. The way she was still holding her face was concerning itself. “Still, it’s my fault. I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you sure you’re okay?” 

That’s when the girl simply nodded her head in order to put her hands out in defense with a goofy little smile of reassurance.“Yeah, of course. Look, I’m perfectly fine! No need to worry!” 

 Yet just as soon as she said that, Chuuya watched a thin line of blood trail down from her nose in response, his eyes hollowing in horror as she simply touched the sight with a nervous laugh. “Ah..ha ha..would you look at that..” 

All at once, alarm bells started to go off in the boy’s head, running through every horrible possibility. He did hit her pretty hard, what if he broke her nose or gave her a concussion? Oh, he hoped not. Then he’d feel even worse than before!

Reaching his hands forward, Chuuya’s fingers then swept under the blood in a panic, ridding himself from the sight only for more to take its place. Oh, this was bad. “Ah, damn it. You’re bleeding!” 

The glasses girl only shrugged though, still giving him that goofy unbothered smile in order to reply softly. “Just a little, it’s..” 

Yet Chuuya was done hearing her downplay the situation, the boy simply grabbing onto her hand in order to pull her off the ground with a frustrated huff. “Is your brain broken? Come here already..!” 

With the way she was acting he was sure that she had a concussion of some kind. No one would ever act this calm about this mistake, especially here in a port mafia owned building. 

Dragging her over to the lobby bathroom, Chuuya quickly threw open the door before pointing to the fancy plush waiting area sofa with hastily command. “Sit.” 

She complied a second later with the boy practically pushing her shoulders down in a rush only for her to put her hands up in reply. “Hey, I promise. I swear I’m okay. You don’t have to..” 

Yet that’s when her words were cut off immediately by Chuuya’s hand, his thumb and forefingers latching against her nostrils in order to make her dip towards him with annoyance. “Lean forward and don’t move. The bleeding should stop in fifteen minutes or so.” 

It was a trick he had learned from an early age while in the sheep. A lot of the younger members would get nosebleeds fairly easily so this was basically secondhand nature to the boy. 

And it seemed like the mystery girl knew that as well, her voice coming out rather nasally and strange considering his hold on her. “You’re really nice.” 

Chuuya couldn't help but scoff though. “Did you forget that I caused all this?” 

She only pouted her lips in response though, not at all bothered by the truth. “You didn’t mean to though. You said it yourself. Besides, it’s kind of my fault too. I’m not the best with new places. It was bound to happen.” 

Shaking his head in exasperation for her answer, the boy then caught something else in her sentence. “Speaking of which, who are you? You port mafia?” 

He had never met this girl before after all, and though he was fairly new to the port mafia himself he knew he would’ve remembered her. She was too odd not to. 

And not only that, she seemed way too nice to be in a dark place like this. A little naive and stupid also. Definitely not good traits to have in the mafia. Which either meant she was new or she didn’t belong here at all. 

A moment later, he had his answer, the girl giggling to herself in a cutesy manner before smiling back. “Me? Oh no, not at all. I’m just visiting Osu.”

And because she didn’t use Dazai’s last name, Chuuya had no idea who that was, his head lifting in confusion. “....Osu?” 

She then attempted to nod under his fingers, beaming with child-like excitement. “Yeah! I’m gonna surprise him with a sleepover! Ah, I really hope he likes it. I want to make him just as happy as he makes me.” 

Her feet then began to kick happily underneath him with hidden joy as Chuuya couldn’t help but wonder who this guy really was. Sleepovers seemed kind of childish for the port mafia but then again she seemed so happy about it. He hoped it went well for her. 

Feeling her tilt her head up without permission, the red haired girl then added.  “And what about you Mr. Ginger? I take it that you're port mafia.” 

It was a conclusion that was fairly obvious given the place that they were in. So much so, Chuuya barely gave much thought to her clever deduction in order to latch his fingers even tighter around her nose in order to pull her head back down.  “Yeah I am, so you better listen to me and quit moving or else..” 

She took in his threat immediately before another apologetic smile crossed her fingers. This guy was really serious, huh? “Okay okay sorry.” 

Then all at once, Chuuya felt his shoulders relax, the anger dissipating only for that same heavy guilt to sink in. “I’m sorry too, for hittin you like this. I wasn’t thinking straight.” 

This girl wasn’t even a port mafia, she was just some guy's girlfriend or something. She had probably never even seen blood in her life and he had done something so horrible to her. A thousand apologies would never be enough. 

She only batted her eyes though, still not angry or spiteful in the slightest. “What were you thinking about?” 

Almost immediately, her words brought back the annoyances of the night, Chuuya still hearing Dazai’s ear grating insults in his ears. “Just an annoying bandaged dumb ass I have to work with. He pisses me off, that’s all.” 

What Chuuya didn’t notice though, was the way Asagao perked up at the sound of his description, her voice coming out rather curious and coaxing. “Bandaged dumb ass?” 

Nodding his head in fury, Chuuya then grumbled to himself before forcing the distaste down his throat. “Yeah, but it’s not something you gotta worry about. That guys not worth anyone's time, especially yours.” 

God, he knew that Dazai would’ve eaten this poor girl alive if he was here. She was too good for everyone in this place but especially for a monster like him. He would crush her innocent little soul into nothing. 

If only he knew, right? 

But naive little Chuuya didn’t know, his lips fixed into a frown only for the female stranger to say something rather out of pocket. “Sounds like you two are close..” 

Close? What kind of joke was that? Yeah, the boy guessed he was close to Dazai in some capacity but not any he wanted to be. They were partners, forced to be stuck together. That’s it. Just what was this girl saying, what was she inferring from his words? 

She didn’t think that two were…friends…right?

Because that was disgusting. 

And he wanted her to know that. “Close?! You gotta be fucking kidding me, I hate that guy. I’m just forced to work with him, that's all. Calling me a dog all the damn time.” 

Seriously, just what was this girl thinking? The day he actually became close to a guy like Dazai would be his last fucking day of earth. 

Yet there was something in his sentence, something at the end that caused Asagao’s head to tilt back up against his hand as her lips parted open in some sort of delicious realization. Oh, so this is your dog, Samu. I can see why you love him.

And for a moment, Chuuya paused, sensing something different in the air. 

Just why was this innocent girl looking at him so deviously, like a predator finding a new prey? It kind of creeped him out, like a horrible case of deja vu. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

Yet just as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared, the girl’s head tilting back down in order to kick her legs back and forth with some sort of hidden delight. “Oooh nothing. Just thinking, that’s all.” 

The way she said that, it sounded so similar to Dazai that he couldn’t help but cringe, pushing his fingers away from her nose all at once.

But that was silly, that bastard was just getting in his head. The two couldn't be alike. She was too nice to be that twisted. 

Shaking the idea away, the ginger haired boy then took a step back before running his hands under the sink next to him with a huff. “Right..well that should be good enough for now. When you get back to Osu or whatever, make sure he takes care of you.” 

Then he watched as the red haired girl seemingly hopped to her feet before giving him a small smile in return. “Thanks..” 

Her tone was open ended, like she was looking for his name. And because he didn’t see the harm in it, the boy compiled. “Chuuya.” 

Nodding once, the girl then pulled her hand out of her pocket for him to shake before repeating the gesture. “Asagao.” 

He took her hand reluctantly, shaking back and forth before the two kids made their way out of the bathroom only for Chuuya’s head to ring with concern. She wasn’t seriously going to wander around by herself, right? That was a horrible idea. 

Pushing his hand to her shoulder, the boy then reeled her back in question. “You know, this isn’t the kind place you should be walking around alone..” 

Yet the girl simply put her hand up before laughing at his worry, almost like the thought hadn’t crossed her mind. “Oh, it’s okay! I’m not alone, I’ve been getting some help. And here they are now. Did you find everything I asked for boys?” 

Then Asa simply lifted her hand up before waving a group of scary suited men over to her, their hands full of various pillows, snacks and other items that Chuuya assumed were for her supposed “sleepover” plan.  “Yes miss.” 

He couldn’t help but gawk at the sight though, seeing the small cute girl sandwich herself between them before patting their shoulders without a care in a world. “Perfect, now let’s go! We don’t have much time.” 

Just who was this girl? And how had she commanded this group of mafia guys to do her bidding? There was no way, right? 

Yet before he could come up with an answer he heard Asagao call back to him, her hand waving as she beamed joyfully from a distance. “Thanks again Chu Chu!” 

Almost immediately he felt his lips twist in annoyance for the nickname, knowing that’s not what he said when he introduced himself. “That’s not..”

Although before he could finish the sentence, she was gone, leaving him to wonder just what kind of hurricane he had unknowingly got himself into. 

“...my name..” 

-----

Feeling his own feet carry him down the dingy steps, Dazai soon found himself back in the port mafia basement, his fingers lingering over the knives in order for his dull lifeless eyes to pick up the blade like a cruel cold welcome. 

He had picked up these weapons hundreds of times before and this was no different. It was like muscle memory at this point and the boy fully knew what was coming next. 

Dazai then seemingly slipped into his own internal thoughts, the warm lights of Bar Lupin and the soft blush that crossed Asagao’s face just a few hours prior. Such things were so lively, so real that he had almost forgotten the damp lonely feeling of where he originated from. 

In Odasaku’s apartment, in the presence of Asagao he could block out the evil inside him, he could ignore the pull to destroy and to trample, but not here. Just by the shift of the air he knew that here there could only be darkness and corruption.  

He couldn’t be a good man here, it was impossible to be. 

But perhaps that was the point, that’s why Mori had brought him here. Because he was getting too comfortable, he was beginning to delude himself from reality. He had told himself that he could change, that he could be more than a monster. 

And the boy still wanted that to be true, for Odasaku and Asagao both. 

Pushing open the rushy hinges, Dazai then made his way to the shackled prisoner before him in order to immediately dig his knife into the man’s shoulder and twist and blade in muscle memory as he cried out in agony. 

And as he felt the familiar sickening joy course through every single one of his muscles, the boy knew that it was wrong. That he shouldn’t have felt such satisfaction in making this man squirm. That’s not what a good person was supposed to do. 

Yet he did, his body, his fingers, his muscles all twitched in satisfaction with the only thing that had accompanied him since he was a child. It was familiar, pulling him further away from his original goals by the second. 

Simply because this was what this fucked up world had made him to be. 

That’s right, he was the demon prodigy, he was shaped and misformed to be this way, a perfect monster of the port mafia. If Asagao saw him then he would think so also. She would take back her belief in him.  

And though he tried to keep that fragile hope of change, with every stab and scream he physically felt it begin to slip away from him. This isn’t what Odasaku would’ve wanted, it’s not what Asagao thought he was..but this was all he had..

As a boy, as a child, Dazai was never given love, he never knew a gentle touch or a kind word. He didn’t grow up with normalcy or any sort of mundane. He went to bed with murder woke up with blood on his fingers and the sound of deafening screams.

Sometimes his own, sometimes not. But the fact remained clear as day even so..

This was what he was good at, whether Dazai liked it or not. 

And that only showed just how different he truly was to Oda’s precious little sister. The things that Asagao had lived through were great but she had gotten away where he couldn’t. She could see more than his pathetic little world. 

She was free where he would never be. 

Another stab, another trail of blood seeped across his fingers only for a dark mocking voice to fill his ears and drown out his victims screams, his own thoughts and guilt corrupting him to insanity.

You are dishonoring his memory. 

He knew that. He knew that so well, that by doing this, by torturing this guy he was going against everything that Odaskau wished for him. But he didn’t know any different, he couldn’t know any different. He wasn’t worth anything else but this. 

You are making his little sister's words useless. 

Damn it, he knew that also, okay?! A haunting memory, a foolish statement, that’s all it was. She called him a good man but what he was doing was in no way the truth. He knew she’d be disappointed like this, seeing him bathed in blood, torturing this man because of own inability to change. 

Fuck, he hated it, he hated himself for being so incompetent. 

What did she possibly see in him? Why did she call him precious? He wasn’t precious, he was a joke. A pathetic unfunny fucking joke. Didn’t she see how he was crumbling, how much of a failure he truly was?

Gritting his teeth against his own chaos, Dazai’s own demons tormented him once more.

You are not a good man. 

And as his bloodied knife raised into the air once more, the demon prodigy knew the truth, his mind screaming it like a death sentence. 

No, I’m not. I’m sorry.

[asachuu]

A lot of people are talking about Arthur’s age right now to the point even I know about it from under my rock, but instead of stating the obvious and simply assuming everyone is in on everything already, I’ll just ask this: what is actually so unbelievable about him being 27? I’ve heard folks say that it would mean he would be 15-16 at the time of joining his organization, which is indeed correct, but somehow, this comes as a surprise or something unacceptable, and I don’t understand why? The two literal fandom favorites, Dazai and Chuuya, met at fifteen years old when one was a mafia member already and the other joined at the same age, and no one seems to find that unbelievable?

Anyway, since I have my two cents on this matter, I have to shove the rest of this under the cut, but please bear with me here.

I presume people are mostly shocked for that reason, though do correct me if I’m wrong— I do see how it could be inconceivable to think of his whole entire background, memories, memoir and so on as being attributed to a 15-19 year old instead of someone far older, but if that’s due to any other reason than it simply not meeting expectations thanks to some former headcanons, I’m not too sure why. Obvious Fifteen parallels aside, it’s not as if BSD is some light-hearted series where characters going through incredibly harsh events we cannot even imagine have to be of legal age and in perfect circumstances to be able to handle it— I suppose some could be wondering about that aspect, but it would match up with the whole feel and plot of the story, and no part of it feels out of place. I’ll admit I used to believe Arthur was 36-37 at the time of his death as I didn’t know of his age either, but upon seeing he was a decade younger, I didn’t exactly think it to be nonsense for the sake of him being “too young”, and not to mention, this would also mirror his IRL counterpart, being 16 at the time of meeting Verlaine— which you absolutely could say is too young, considering the entire story between them, but it did happen, and BSD is based on the real-life authors after all— so I don’t see any argument against this which truly makes sense, all things considered.

That aside, I will say that Arthur’s canonical age specifically matters to me, unlike some other characters’ ages, and perhaps my reasoning could be a shared one that contributes to some of this confusion, and that is because it does change the perspective of Fifteen/Stormbringer to quite an extent. I had a whole post drafted about this already a week ago, but it seems to be even more relevant now, so I’ll just throw a part of it here and the rest in a reblog to not derail too much.

In my opinion, if one is to read Arthur’s memoir from Stormbringer, it feels much different to think of it as written by an adult as opposed to a teenager, purely because of its content— the character who has no family to return to, no loved ones or friends or even personal feelings he is allowed to have due to his job, the one who is overjoyed to finally have a partner whom he could make any difference to and who is already prepared to be forgotten after his death anyway, is not actually fully grown up, which maybe some are having a hard time accepting, I’m not too certain.

To me, this view on the story is indeed a lot sadder, especially if one is to consider his only partner betrayed him at 19 instead of whatever other theory could be in place, alongside all else I won’t be mentioning here as I believe I wrote a long enough essay about those two as is, but I don’t think any of it is strange or odd-sounding. If I may, in my personal opinion, I actually believe it makes far more sense, and not because it once again would align with his IRL counterpart even here— no, rather considering his behavior in Fifteen of desperately trying to find a way to remember his best yet only friend, likely because he hadn’t had anyone by his side from such a young age and clearly latched onto the first person he could have had alongside him, which could be a fully applicable theory even if you hadn’t seen the pair in any unrequited romantic contexts that could have been his motive. Does it make the story far more sorrowful? Yes. But does it make the story nonsense and unbelievable? Absolutely not. At this point, I would be so much more surprised if he wound up actually being 37 as I and what I suspect is a decent amount of others guessed at first, because in that case, I would somewhat understand the other side to my arguments— I still wouldn’t agree with them as I never did, even in the past when I didn’t have any extra information, but I could potentially see where they’re coming from at the very least.

I’ll just briefly acknowledge that perhaps some saw the memoir implying Arthur being more of Paul’s mentor at the time, being much older and wiser than him as would be expected, but I don’t think this was ever anyhow highlighted in the novels to make it clear that Arthur could be considered as such entirely— it was only said he would be the one to raise him, which I admit would not leave me assuming the given character is 15, but all things considered, it still aligns with everything above. I also have to acknowledge that in Fifteen, he is referred to as an “older” member of the Port Mafia, but I believe that refers to the eight years he spent in it, and was not meant to be an indicator of his actual age at the time, although compared to Chuuya and Dazai back then, perhaps 27 could indeed be seen as older in a very relative sense. Still, neither of these things are a direct contradiction to his supposed age, and while I’m not here to “prove” he’s 27 or 37 or whatever else one could assume, since I don’t have any other source of information other than the S3 guidebook and don’t have any reason to come up with alternative theories, hence why I choose to trust it unless official sources state otherwise, I’m only here because it surprises me how many people are shocked by this, as if many other characters in BSD weren’t in the same exact age range at the time of drastic or serious events happening around them/to them. I assume that, for some, this is merely something which goes against their personal headcanons or is just wholly unexpected, with nothing more in-depth sitting behind it, at whom this post is not aimed whatsoever, but I saw some saying it doesn’t even fit into canon at all, which…how, exactly? Because I don’t see it at all.

[fvedyetor]

Fyodor and Chuuya for the character ask game

oooh ty for the ask! sorry for how long and messy it is i have lots of thoughts just not very coherent

ok fedya first:

Sexuality Headcanon: bi but denies it. lowkey just anyone with white hair huh. actually yk what?? aroallo. hes soooo aro omg (projecting). fyodor himself would be very no-label tho.

Gender Headcanon: um usually just cis actually. cis guy or cis woman. but valleykey's fics are so so good and xir fyodor gender fuckery is so fun. again i think fyodor is pretty no-label. could have queer vibes, but would never tell you. OMG ESPECIALLY IF FEDYA TAKES OVER OTHER PEOPLE'S BODIES wait i wanna see him take over a woman. genderfluid fyodor?

A ship I have with said character: fyosig :3 theyre my toxic yuri. i ship fedya with so many people but him and sigma's relationship is so interesting and brain itching omg. in canon itd be so toxic and bad and fucked up and in my aus its also that but sometimes its fluffy.

A BROTP I have with said character: um. yk what? agatha and fyodor. i want to see what their relationship is like... but for now im just imagining them drinking tea and talking shit abt fitzgerald and stuff.

A NOTP I have with said character: ummm i rarely have notp's. i am super non-judgmental when it comes to stuff like this in fandom. fyodors one of those characters that pretty much every ship i see is super cool

A random headcanon: strawberries. he likes strawberries. idk just thinking abt fyodor and bloody fruit hehe (pomegranates!! he'd struggle opening pomegranates he'd need help from kolya or other)

General Opinion over said character: very cool!! asagiri is hurting my brain with all the lore drops abt him that actually isnt enough explanation of lore. i love fyodor and his religious symbolism omgggg

chuuya!:

Sexuality Headcanon: um gay or bi w/ very masc preference. hes the guy who'd think he's gay and then realize hes bisexual, not the other way around. theres a fave fic of mine with transfem dazai? chuuya is sure hes into men and then after dazais two year defection he comes to the basement and sees the most gorgeous woman ever and is like "oh wait nevermind" also i think he'd be into yosano. but thats it for the women he's attracted to.

Gender Headcanon: trans masc loser :) love him

A ship I have with said character: sigchuu. i have a legend of zelda au with them and omg <3 <3 chuuya would fix sigma. but not really. anyways sigchuu my beloved <3 they have similar pasts if you look close enough... theyre so silly!!

A BROTP I have with said character: tachihara and chuuya!! i mean obviously the flags ofc but i was just reading some fics and omg tachihara and chuuya are besties. they need to hang out more

A NOTP I have with said character: again... i dont think theres anyone here... tho maybe i'll say romantic skk. platonic and queerplatonic skk is so cool and more fitting i think. i'll still read romantic skk fics tho

A random headcanon: ummm hmm i dont think about chuuya enough for this huh. i think he'd be into theatre but it'd be a guilty pleasure. in the privacy of his own home, he's jamming out to rock musicals, but in public he'd never squeak a word about theatre bc hes so embarrassed.

General Opinion over said character: so cool!! hes so awesome. i like him. i like how hes so powerful but then also just so chill. as much as people are sad about how little we see him in canon, i really like how he'll only pop in once a while. good for him for skipping out on the canon's bullshit all the time hehe

haha sorry for how long this is!! i dont have any solid headcanons really, theres so many ideas out there i cant pick lol

ask game

[pepper-steam-milkshake]

Timeline of Pre-ADA Dazai-Centric Events

Okay, so. I have fallen down the research rabbit hole yet again. I thought, “hey, I’ll write some Dazai POV to get into his head so I can write him better! Let me just do some research first!”

...That was my first mistake.

Anyways, here’s a timeline of Dazai-focused events from before he joins the Port Mafia up until he leaves it. I didn’t go further because I mostly wanted to focus on Dazai prior to his joining the ADA.

WARNINGS: This timeline mentions suicide, torture, violence, death, etc. I imagine if you’re reading this, you’re a BSD fan and already familiar with the content of it, but doesn’t hurt to mention it.

SPOILERS: This timeline contains spoilers for the following:

MANGA

Bungou Stray Dogs Main Manga

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old

DEAD APPLE

LIGHT NOVELS

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old

The Day I Picked Up Dazai

Stormbringer

DEAD APPLE

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era

ANIME

Season 2, Episodes 1-4

Season 3, Episodes 1-4

DEAD APPLE

Hopefully I’ve covered all my bases. If you don’t want spoilers for ANY of those, I would NOT read this, because it absolutely goes into detail.

--

0. At some point, the Sheep offer for Dazai to join them, which he refuses.

(Dazai Osamu) "A long time ago, I was invited to join the Sheep. Of course, I refused."

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One

WOLF WITHOUT SHEEP’S CLOTHING: There is not a specific time mentioned for when Dazai was given said invitation, but it has to occur before the events of FIFTEEN. It’s very possible this offer was extended prior to even meeting Mori, but without more info, it’s not entirely clear. The offer was not given by any on-screen members of the sheep (Shirase, Yuan, etc), as they do not recognize him when they see him with Chuuya. Based off info from Stormbringer, it was probably some time between the age of about seven to fourteen.

The Sheep were initially founded by orphans as a mutual aid organization...

(Shirase Buichirou) “Back then, the organization was still small.”

Stormbringer, Code; 02

For reference, Chuuya joined the Sheep early on, and that was after Rimbaud and Verlaine broke him out of the government at age seven.

--

1. Dazai meets Mori Ougai after attempting suicide at the age of 14.

It was a year ago that the two became destined collaborators. Mori, who was the chief physician, and Dazai, who was just an attempted suicide patient...

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One

DAZAI’S AGE: At first, I thought, ‘wait, Dazai might have been 15 during the assassination’, since it says it was a year ago give or take. I wasn’t 100% sure; however, there is a quote (listed below) that does in fact confirm that Dazai was 14 when he first met Mori.

--

2. Dazai and Mori then immediately decide to kill the current Port Mafia boss within the next 24 hours.

...had collaborated to carry out a secret operation: assassination of the head of the Port Mafia...

A 14 year old boy was there. It happened in front of Dazai’s eyes.

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One Screenshot from Season 3, Episode One

NOT PORT MAFIA YET: So, at this point, Dazai is now a witness for Mori’s killing the Port Mafia boss, and also for him being “officially recognized” as the boss’s successor. He is not officially a member of the Port Mafia at this point.

--

The next few events occur during the time between this point and FIFTEEN.

--

3. Mori has at least one attempted assassination. It fails, and the traitors are killed.

Already this year, two members had made an assassination plan for Mori. Of course, the traitor was executed...

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One

--

4. Dazai repeatedly tries to kill himself, and Mori stops these attempts.

(Mori Ougai) “How many times do you think I stopped your suicide this year?”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One

MORI’S MOTIVATION: Mori has stopped Dazai from killing himself for two stated reasons: one, because of the mentioned assassination above, and two, because he wants Dazai to be his right-hand man. (ASSUMED: Take over the PM in the future?)

--

The following are events from FIFTEEN.

--

5. Dazai gets his first Port Mafia job from Mori.

(Mori Ougai) “This is your first job. Welcome to the Mafia.”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One

MAKING IT ALMOST “OFFICIAL”: This line implies that by Dazai taking the mission to see if the previous Port Mafia boss is actually alive, he is going to join the Port Mafia. A later line in FIFTEEN contributing to this:

(Dazai Osamu) “Finish this job safely, join the mafia.”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter Four

--

6. Dazai meets Hirotsu.

Dazai raised his face and spoke to the escort mafia walking behind him... “...Um...”

“Hirotsu.” The escort mafia responded...

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One

OLDER GENTLEMAN: It is implied that this is the first time that Dazai meets Hirotsu by the fact that Dazai didn’t know his name. There’s also the context clue of the fact that Hirotsu didn’t seem to recognize him outside of him being the witness for the previous PM boss’s death. Hirotsu is initially very distrustful of Dazai. Dazai appears to have some level of respect for him, as we are informed that he asked for Hirotsu specifically to be his escort.

--

7. Dazai meets Chuuya.

The next moment, something hit Dazai’s torso without any warning...

Something was on top of Dazai, the same thing that hit Dazai a while ago and blew him away--a black figure.

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One Screenshot from Season 3, Episode One

NOT SHOWN IN ANIME: Dazai actually rolled down a hill, smashed through multiple huts + a fence due to the attack from Chuuya, and then Chuuya proceeded to beat the shit out of him while interrogating him for info. Also, a decent amount of mafiosi show up alongside Hirotsu when he goes up against Chuuya, which implies that Mori had people tailing them just in case things went sour.

Dazai’s ability was also only triggered if the subject is touched. His ability blocks and negates the triggering of all abilities--the ultimate anti-ability. There was no exception to the invalidation.

DAZAI’S ABILITY: I thought that the above description was interesting. Prior to this, Chuuya’s ability was explained, which mentioned that he could “change the direction and force of gravity as long as the object touched was somewhere on their body.”

--

8. Dazai makes a bet with Chuuya to make him his dog for life. He wins.

(Dazai Osamu) “...let’s have a contest to see who can catch the culprit first... But if I win, you’re my dog for life.”

(Nakahara Chuuya) “...Bring it on...”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter Three Screenshot from Season 3, Episode Two

DON’T MAKE BETS YOU CAN’T WIN: This may not seem important, but considering it involves the status of what could be considered one of Dazai’s subordinates, I think it’s relevant.

“You and Chuuya-kun had a bet.” Randou said. “In that case, you won. Since you found the culprit first.”

“Thank you, Randou-san.” Dazai smiled.

Several lines later...

(Nakahara Chuuya) “--ound you!” There was a violent shout. “I win the bet with this scheming bastard! You’re the culprit!”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter Four Screenshot from Season 3, Episode Two

HEY, THAT’S NOT FAIR!: Chuuya, of course, says that since he didn’t finish explaining that Randou/Rimbaud is the culprit, Chuuya won instead. (This is more spur of the moment, however; Dazai continues to push this.)

--

9. Dazai and Chuuya defeat Rimbaud.

Blood invaded Randou’s respiratory tracts and overflowed from his mouth. He fell face first towards his won pool of blood with a wet noise.

Obviously--it was fatal.

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter Four

--

10. Dazai joins the Port Mafia and is given power of the army.

“...When I said I was joining the mafia, Mori-san was so pleased he jumped up and down... I was given command of this unit and forced to do my first job.”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter Five

IT’S A LITTLE DIFFERENT: If you watch the anime, Dazai does not actually state that by this point, he is officially in the PM. He simply tells Chuuya that he is here to recruit him by Mori’s orders.

--

11. Dazai makes Chuuya join the Port Mafia.

Screenshot from Season 3, Episode Three

THAT’S LOYALTY FOR YOU: Dazai forces Chuuya to join the Port Mafia by holding the Sheeps’ lives at stake, while also ensuring that the Sheep don’t trust Chuuya anymore. Yikes!

--

12. Dazai meets Q and is informed that his next job involves them.

Next to Dazai was Mori in a white coat and a small child holding a doll.

“Hehe, I’m Kyuusaku! Hey, wanna play? Wanna play?”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Epilogue Screenshot from Season 3, Episode Three

HE’S LITERALLY BABY: Mori tells Dazai that his ability nullification will help in showing the true form of the ability. As we all hear about later... this cannot end well.

--

13. If Q is Dazai’s next job, we can probably assume that the event where Dazai ends up imprisoning Q happens sometime between FIFTEEN and Stormbringer.

Screenshot from Season 2, Episode Seven

Unfortunately, there is no true confirmation about when everything with Q goes down, but going by the fact that we don’t hear anything about Q again until in the main series (Season 2, Episode Seven being his first appearance), it can probably be assumed that it happened not long after his introduction to Dazai.

--

With that, the events of FIFTEEN come to an end. Things get a little fuzzier here, because now, we have The Day I Picked Up Dazai. I was going insane trying to figure out where this fits in, because it goes somewhere between FIFTEEN and the Dragon’s Head Conflict... but so does Stormbringer. The only reason that I think it could fall after Stormbringer is thanks to Side B, where Dazai drops that he is a Port Mafia Executive:

(48 member) “You... who the hell are you? How can you do this?“

(Dazai Osamu) “I’m a Port Mafia executive.”

The Day I Picked Up Dazai, Side B

...in the BEAST universe, which doesn’t necessarily mean he’s one in the OG universe.

Then, I did more research. Dazai doesn’t become an executive until after the Dragon’s Head Conflict, as he and Chuuya discuss the candidacy for becoming one after one of them is killed. So, that quote above is completely 100% irrelevant!

HOWEVER. When reading Stormbringer, Dazai is in the pits of despair and flatly states to Verlaine:

“I want to see the Port Mafia burn.”

“Because I’ve grown bored with it... In the end, I didn’t find anything.”

Stormbringer, Code; 02

After meeting Oda, he wouldn’t react like this. Therefore, it only makes sense chronologically for Stormbringer to come first.

The tears I’ve shed in the past several hours trying to figure this out. Good lord. Anyways. Stormbringer time.

--

14. In the year after he joined the Port Mafia, Dazai crushes organizations, creates new trade routes, etc. He’s been busy.

It’s been one year since he’s joined the mafia. Dazai commanded a secret unit under the boss’s direct control... A number of organizations have been crushed, and a number of new trade routes have opened up.

Stormbringer, Code; 02

HE’S “KILLING” IT: Career-wise, Dazai is doing great! Mentally, he is incredibly ill. It is stated that he is one of the most successful mafia members at the moment simply due to how quickly he has progressed. He also handled the gem trade before it got handed off to Chuuya:

“Wow, so confident. You’re in the gem trade? Sounds like it’s going pretty well.”

“Oh, I know. Before you took over, I was in charge of that.”

Stormbringer, Code; 04

--

15. Dazai meets Verlaine, who promptly tries to kill him.

(Paul Verlaine) “Even while trying to kill you a couple days ago, you seemed to feel almost nothing.”

Stormbringer, Code; 02

ORDER OF DEATH: According to my reading of Stormbringer, Verlaine went after Dazai first the day before going after the Flags. Dazai says to Adam later on in the story that he gave him information in order to ensure that the last target Verlaine would go after would be Mori:

“Everything, literally everything--from Verlaine’s targets, to Detective-san, to Researcher-san--has been based on the information I gave him.”

“Mori-san was originally going to be the first one killed, but I manipulated the information so he was last on the list.”

Stormbringer, Code; 03

ORDER OF DEATH (cont.): This sounds pretty damning in regards to whether or not Dazai caused the Flags’ death. However. Dazai also says pretty soon after:

“You’re more than welcome to try to find out [how Dazai got Rimbaud’s notebook], but no matter what I’ll only tell you lies. I’m a liar, after all.”

If Mori was going to be the first one killed, why did Verlaine first go after Dazai? A simple answer: Dazai is lying to Adam. Or, at the least, not everything he’s saying is the whole truth. This is also questionable by the fact that Dazai sees Verlaine again later and states that he was always on the Port Mafia’s side. Dazai rarely if ever speaks the whole truth out loud, and without actually being in his perspective during this (we are seeing through Adam’s eyes), it’s hard to know the specifics.

Later on, when Chuuya is torturing Dazai by spinning him until he vomits (yes this is absolutely important information what do you mean) as they discuss the plan against Verlaine, Chuuya states:

“He gave N’s information to Verlaine to earn us some time knowing I would be tortured. Not to mention, as a result of that information, Detective-san was killed.”

Stormbringer, Code; 04

With this quote, it seems like Dazai more led to Murase’s death (and N’s attempted assassination), and not the Flags.

--

16. The next day, Dazai nullifies (partial) Corruption for the first time.

The boy casually grabbed Chuuya’s arm and lifted it up.

At that moment, the abnormal gravitational field that surrounded them immediately disappeared, along with the insufferable pain Chuuya had felt.

Stormbringer, Code; 01

--

17. The day after that, Dazai hands off Port Mafia secrets to Verlaine in exchange for his life.

(Paul Verlaine) “This is the inside data on the Port Mafia?”

It was an extremely valuable document that recorded all of the Port Mafia’s secrets.

Stormbringer, Code; 02

PM SECRETS: I’m assuming this includes the Arahabaki Project (knowledge of N). Dumb question: Dazai is not an executive at this point, so how did he get his hands on this? Possible answer: Mori probably gave him the info to help trap Verlaine. I don’t know. This is more speculation on my part.

--

18. Dazai and Chuuya defeat Verlaine (Guivre) through the use of Corruption.

Guivre wasn’t shooting anything at them now... It didn’t make a sound, just peacefully disappeared.

Stormbringer, Code; 04

FIRST TRUE USE OF CORRUPTION: Dazai and Chuuya successfully defeat Verlaine’s Guivre form (like Chuuya’s Arahabaki form) through Chuuya’s Corruption, which Dazai nullifies once it’s all over.

--

Bam! That’s the events of Stormbringer. Now, the Dragon’s Head Conflict doesn’t wait for long until after Stormbringer, but Oda has joined the Port Mafia by the point that it occurs. That means that The Day I Picked Up Dazai occurs sometime in that year.

--

19. Dazai bleeds out on Oda’s doorstep. On purpose.

The young man’s wounds are clearly from gunshots. He has been shot multiple times... to top it all off, he is holding a bunch of new notes in his left hand... A supernote.

The Day I Picked Up Dazai

REALLY CASUAL: It looks like Dazai was trying to steal counterfeit money, and then got shot for it. Then, he chose to pass out on Oda’s doorstep, as evidenced by this later statement:

“How about I tell you why I went and collapsed in front of his house in the first place? Because I knew of a rumor. That no evils can come close to that house, be it burglars, smugglers, or mafia. No matter who it is, it is just around that house that they can’t cause any troubles. It is a “calm-zone.” It is as if they are afraid of something, or someone there.”

--

20. Dazai attempts to die under Oda’s care. Repeatedly. Over the span of a few days.

His first request is for pufferfish’s organ sashimi... Next is grilled amanita virosa.... The last dish is potato sprout salad.

The Day I Picked Up Dazai

WAIT, THAT’S POISONOUS!: When Dazai realizes that Oda isn’t going to let him go, he starts asking him for dishes containing deadly ingredients (unknown to Oda, I guess?!).

Also, later:

Dazai suddenly comes up with the idea that if he jumps out of the door with a gun in his hand, there are chances that he can be shot dead by the cops. Oda tells him there is no gun in the house, so he decides to get a knife instead.

...trying to choke him unconscious. Dazai, as a result, struggles happily while kicking his legs around... it makes the knife Dazai was trying to grab earlier fall off right to where Oda is.

Dazai keeps kicking the kitchen stand and this time, it’s the kettle above Oda’s head that’s going to fall.

The Day I Picked Up Dazai (Summarized Translation)

YIKES!: Oda proceeds to choke Dazai unconscious so he’ll. stop doing things. Literally this is all happening in, what, five minutes?

--

21. Dazai and Oda are abducted by the organization “48″.

The cops take out two gas masks and put them on their faces. Then they throw a gas grenade towards Dazai and Oda. Oda realizes that they are actually not cops.

The Day I Picked Up Dazai (Summarized Translation)

WHO PASSED THE GAS: 48, as informed by Dazai after he sees Oda again, is an organization of dishonorably discharged police officers. They abduct Oda (and Dazai) to try and get hold of a painting that Oda stole years ago.

--

22. Oda takes Dazai to Bar Lupin for the first time, Dazai gives him the nickname of Odasaku, and Dazai extends the offer for him to join the Port Mafia. It is implied that he accepts.

“Is this, by any chance, the place you should go before you die?” Dazai asks, his voice sounds disappointed. “Isn’t it just a normal bar?”

...

“Okay, I have decided. You are Odasaku... You are too strange for a short name like Oda. And Oda Sakunosuke is just too long to call. You are Odasaku. From now on, whenever someone asks for your name, you have to say so.”

...

“If the other side of the world doesn’t work, you can run to a deeper place.” “...I promise you. If you join, you will no longer be bothered by anything from your past. Because no past can touch that place.”

The Day I Picked Up Dazai

SO I STARTED SOBBING: Oda lied to Dazai when he met him and said that there is a place that one needs to go to before dying, and reveals after escaping from “48″ with him that it is Bar Lupin. They then proceed to play poker, tell stories, and more. Oda is assigned ‘Odasaku’ by Dazai, and after acknowledging that other organizations are probably just going to keep coming after him, Dazai offers for him to join the Port Mafia.

Dazai nods and takes the cards from me. Then in a casual tone, he says those words. “When are we meeting next?”

I’M NOT CRYING. YOU’RE CRYING. STOP.

--

So, Odasaku joins the Port Mafia under the behest of Dazai. This then brings us to the Dragon’s Head Conflict, featured in DEAD APPLE. By the way, please keep in mind that all this has been happening at the age of 16 from Stormbringer to the Dragon’s Head Conflict!

At some point, Ango does join the Port Mafia, although according to some lines from Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, it seems like he actually joined around the same time as Dazai and Chuuya?:

Two years ago, one year after Ango joined the Mafia, Ango had earned the trust of the organization and travelled to Europe.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter 2

The Dark Era takes place about two years after the Dragon’s Head Conflict. Ango joined a year before the Dragon’s Head Conflict, which took place not long after Stormbringer. Stormbringer takes place a year after FIFTEEN. I sound like one of those ‘Illuminati Confirmed’ videos. Anyways, this is 100% relevant.

--

23. Dazai and Odasaku meet Ango for the first time.

By word of mouth, I’ve learnt that the youth is a newcomer by the name of Sakaguchi Ango... At that time, the Dragon’s Head Conflict had just gotten into full swing.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter 2

THE TRIO MEETS: Dazai and Odasaku are taking care of dead Port Mafia members during the conflict, and they go to Ango for cataloguing. They then proceed to drag him to Bar Lupin:

Later, Ango, Dazai and I go to the bar and start chatting.

--

The DEAD APPLE light novel is a novelization of the movie, but the manga gives a lot more info. The movie did come first though, interestingly enough!

--

24. Dazai gets abducted on purpose by the “White Giraffe” (Shibusawa).

DEAD APPLE Manga, Chapter 8

A+ COMMUNICATION: Shortly after a heated conversation with Chuuya about the newly opened executive position, Dazai goes missing. He intentionally gets himself captured to draw Chuuya to his position.

--

25. Chuuya and Dazai find Shibusawa and kill him using Corruption.

DEAD APPLE Manga, Chapter 10

6 IS A MAGIC NUMBER: Chuuya rescues Dazai, and they go after Shibusawa. He discovers that Shibusawa pushed his six friends to suicide, and decides to annihilate him through the use of Corruption. (Good lord, this sounds familiar. Please save Chuuya. Man needs a break. And therapy.) This ends the Dragon’s Head Conflict.

--

26. Dazai and Chuuya become known as “Double Black”.

And after the Dragon Head’s Conflict, the mafia changed and grew again. There was the rise of “Double Black”, Dazai’s promotion to an executive, the Laughing Lemon case, the Mimic incident...

Stormbringer, Epilogue

--

27. Dazai becomes an executive.

Despite the fact that we are in the same organization, Dazai is an executive, Ango is an intelligence agent, and I am a low ranked operative with no title.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Prologue

PROMOTION: Dazai’s becoming an executive probably happens not long after the Dragon’s Head Conflict, since there’s an open position. It is also confirmed that on the same day...

--

28. ...Dazai finds and takes in Akutagawa as his protégé.

"I actually got promoted today,” he said. “I’m part of the leader [executive] class now. Which... you know what they say--the fancier the title, the more responsibility and other nonsense you have to deal with.”

“Of course,” he continued, “there is one good thing about this title. It gives me the right to hire a single underling, someone who acts under my direct control... I’d like to invite you into the Port Mafia.”

Bungo Stray Dogs Manga, Volume 6, Short Story: The Heartless Cur

FAST DECISIONS: Within the 24 hours that he became an executive, Dazai immediately chooses to invite Akutagawa to the Port Mafia as his personal underling. He accepts and brings Gin with him.

--

29. Whatever the hell the Laughing Lemon case is. I don’t know. Asagiri I want answers. I don’t even care about what’s happening in the manga anymore now, Asagiri what is the Laughing Lemon case. Asagiri please. I feel like this is Kaijii related and I’m so curious and confused. What’s up with this. You need to elaborate.

--

At this point, we can probably jump ahead to the Dark Era, which is about two years post-Dragon’s Head Conflict. Dazai is 18 years old now; he has had Akutagawa, been friends with Ango and Odasaku, been an executive, been one half of “Double Black”, and more for about two years. I certainly wasn’t that productive 17-18, but go off, king. Anyways, shit is about to hit the fan.

--

30. Dazai, Odasaku and Ango have drinks together (happily) for the last time.

“That’s it, let’s take a picture!” Dazai bursts out suddenly, “As a commemoration!”

“Dazai, why the sudden urge to take photos?” “I don’t know. I just feel like if we don’t take a picture now, there won’t be another chance...”

In the end, there would never be a second chance for us to take photos in that bar.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Prologue Screenshot from Season 2, Episode One

LOOK AT THIS LOSER: He blinked. Cringe.

SINCERELY THOUGH: Dazai suspects Ango of doing something shady, and before things go from bad to worse, he has the three of them take a photo together.

--

31. Dazai finds out the name of the latest organization the Port Mafia is going up against: Mimic.

“The only words we got was the name of the enemy... Mimic.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter One

--

32. Dazai saves Odasaku at his request from Mimic assassins.

“Odasaku! Get down!” At this moment, I hear Dazai’s voice.

“Did you kill them?” I glance at the fallen assassins. “Mmhmm.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter One

--

33. Dazai and Odasaku begin to realize that Ango was lying to them, and something weird is up. They start to investigate more heavily.

--Ango. Mimic. Attack. Everything is starting to come together.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter One

Dazai is running around everywhere collecting information on Mimic.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Two

--

34. Dazai is assigned to be the main person to handle Mimic by Mori.

“In the end, I was appointed as the battle strategist and front line commander to tackle Mimic. I’ve already settled some matters and set up a few simple mousetraps. It shouldn’t be long until the war begins to show signs of activity.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Two

--

35. Dazai successfully captures Mimic soldiers... who are promptly killed by Akutagawa.

A total of three corpses lie in the cell. They haven’t been dead for long... The deceased are Mimic soldiers.

“Luckily, because of you, all three of the enemy soldiers were caught are now dead.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Two

UNHEALTHY: Dazai doesn’t take this well, of course.

Without letting him finish, Dazai swings a fist at Akutagawa’s face. Akutagawa is sent flying.

Three gunshots, three flashes of light, three empty bullet shells roll on the ground with a crisp sound.

“The next time you screw up, I’ll hit you twice and fire five shots, understood?”

Screenshot from Season 2, Episode Two

--

36. In spite of this, Dazai successfully gets a lead and informs Odasaku.

According to what Dazai says, a wilted leaf of a broad-leaved tree had been found stuck on the bottom of a Mimic’s soldier’s shoe.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Two

--

37. Dazai figures out that Mimic is planning to annihilate the Port Mafia. The executives make the decision to give their all against Mimic.

“While Odasaku was bedridden, there have been six stores in the mafia’s turf that were bombed. The damage is increasing every minute.”

“...We can confirm that they really plan to raze the mafia’s territory to a flatland.”

“A five-executive conference has already convened, and it has been decided that we will use all of the mafia’s forces and face Mimic.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Three

--

38. Dazai, Odasaku and Ango meet for the last time at Bar Lupin. Ango provides information before leaving both the bar and the two mafioso behind.

Dazai and I walk down the dimly lit stairs leading to the basement floor.

Sitting at his usual spot, in his usual tone, Ango raises his glass at us in greeting.

“We’re here to obtain information on Mimic. You should have known that by now, right?”

He [Ango] slowly rises from the barchair, as though listening to the sound of his own footsteps, walking out of the shop with his head lowered. I probably won’t meet Ango again.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Three Screenshot from Season 2, Episode Three

--

39. Dazai tries to stop Odasaku from going after Mimic. He fails.

“Odasaku, I know what you’re thinking, but I still have to stop you. Even if you do that--” “Even if I do that, the kids won’t come back?” I say.

“Odasaku,” Dazai says quietly. “I hope you will forgive me for speaking so strangely, but don’t go! Go and rely on something, hope that something good will happen next, that something will definitely happen.” I walk off. Despite Dazai’s shouts, I don’t look back.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Four Screenshot from Season 2, Episode Four

SOMEONE TO FIGHT FOR: Odasaku is one of the very few if not only person we see Dazai actively fight for. Ango didn’t even get this treatment. Chuuya gets this treatment more or less, but it’s fairly begrudging. It is apparent from this how much Odasaku means to Dazai--he even talks about trying to live for something, similar to how Odasaku has spoken to him. He is desperate at this point.

--

40. Dazai goes to Mori to get permission to save Odasaku and promptly discovers that Mori was planning this all along.

“Do you agree to mobilizing the organization’s executive level gifted squad to storm Mimic’s headquarters to save Odasaku?”

“That envelope is--” Something inside Dazai’s mind starts to move violently, flashing. “So that’s how it is... So that’s what this is all about.”

“I just can’t accept it. The one who secretly told Mimic where the orphans Odasaku was raising were hidden was you. Other than you, no one else could have obtained information on the hiding place I chose.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Four

TRUE EMOTIONS: Dazai is furious in this scene. He is horrified and disgusted that Mori has decided to sacrifice Odasaku (and Odasaku’s kids, but less so) to get the Ability Business permit. He is probably the angriest we’ve seen him since the beginning.

--

41. Dazai essentially says “fuck you” and goes to save Odasaku.

“I want to tell you two things, Boss. First, you won’t shoot me, neither will you order your subordinates to shoot.”

“I am going for one reason, because he’s my friend. I’ll be leaving now.” The subordinates raise their guns, fingers on the trigger. Uncaringly, Dazai strolls towards the door. The subordinates look at Ougai, requesting for him to give the order. Ougai crosses his arms, carrying a slight smile as he looks at Dazai’s back wordlessly. Dazai passes through the door and heads towards the corridor, then disappears.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Four

DEFIANCE: While Dazai by no means sticks strictly to Mori’s wishes--we’ve seen this since the beginning--this is the first true act of angry defiance against him that we know of. Mori anticipated this response, but it is still insane that Dazai, the normally incredibly apathetic bastard he is, is so outraged and takes direct action with that.

It’s a shame.

--

42. Dazai arrives too late and finds Odasaku bleeding out.

Dazai rushes towards Odasaku’s side, checking the severity of the wound. The bullet has pierced through his chest and blood is pooling on the floor--it’s obviously a fatal wound. Dazai falls to his knees, kneeling by Odasaku’s side.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Four Screenshot from Season 2, Episode Four

THE MOST EMOTION WE’VE SEEN. EVER: At the time this post is made, we’re at Chapter 107 in the main manga. Even with that, I truly do think this still remains as the most extreme emotion we’ve ever seen on Dazai in every way. Odasaku is the equivalent of Dazai’s best friend, and he’s shot and dying in front of him. He had given Dazai a reason to keep going, motivated him to still push forward. Dazai made exceptions for this man. And now, he’s dying.

--

43. Odasaku’s final words to Dazai.

“You once said that ‘if you immerse yourself in a world of violence and blood, perhaps you would be able to find a reason to live on.’”

“Aah, I said that, but that sort of thing now...”

“It can’t be found.

“You should know this yourself. No matter whether you’re on the side of killing people or saving people, there will never be anything that can surpass your mind. There is no place in this world that can fill your loneliness. You will linger in the darkness forever.”

“Odasaku... I... What should I do?”

“Go to the side that saves people!

“Since both sides are the same, become a good person. Save the weak, protect orphans. Regardless of whether it’s justice or evil, there isn’t a big difference between the two... But, doing that would be better.”

“How do you know that?”

“I know, I know this better than anyone else.”

“I understand... I’ll do that.”

“’Humans live to save themselves. They will understand this before they die’... Well... said...

“I really want to eat curry...”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Four

THE PATH FORWARD: If Dazai’s loyalty to the Port Mafia was shaken by this point, it was now shattered. His best friend’s dying words were to leave the Port Mafia and try to do better things.

--

44. Dazai goes to Odasaku’s funeral.

Dazai stands before that epitaph. Dazai is dressed in black funeral attire, a bouquet of white flowers in his hands.

Dazai takes out one photo, placing it before the epitaph. The three people in the photo, in a moment where time has stopped, have smiles that will never disappear carved onto them.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Epilogue

--

45. Two weeks later, Dazai goes missing.

“Leader, Executive Dazai-san has been uncontactable for two weeks. To decide the next executive, it should be time to call for a five-boss conference...”

“Don’t convene the executive meeting. Just keep Dazai’s spot empty.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Epilogue

--

46. Dazai meets with Chief Taneda of the Ministry of Internal Affairs at Bar Lupin.

“I’m looking for a new job. Do you have any place you’d recommend?”

“...What do you hope for?” “A place where I can help people.” Dazai replies immediately. “Your ledger is too marred. To clear it, you have to lay low for around two years. But... let me answer your question first. It’s not as if I cannot find such a place.”

“There is an armed organization comprised of ability users. They’re in charge of handling grey areas, troublesome matters that cannot be entrusted to the military or city police. The director there is a man with a good heart, he might be able to grant your wish.”

“What is the name of that organization?” “Name? That company’s name is--”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Epilogue

TWO YEARS: Dazai decides to join the ADA, and goes underground for two years.

--

Screenshot from Season 2, Episode Four

And with that, Dazai’s four years in the Port Mafia come to an end. What a shitty teenage experience, honestly. Asagiri really went “want to see how much trauma and mental illness I can fit in this bitch?” and then did that. I mean, he did that to every character to be frank, but from Dazai’s very introduction, the man is messed up on so many levels.

I feel like I’ve learned a lot more about Dazai’s character by writing all this, and to anyone who happens on this, they might feel the same. But honestly, it’s just bonkers thinking about all this. And again, this doesn’t cover everything that happened to Dazai in the Port Mafia! We still don’t have a dedicated light novel to the Laughing Lemon incident, for example! We hear a lot about years 15, 16 and 18, but we know little to nothing about what happened when Dazai was 17. Plus, there’s the two years where Dazai goes underground--what happens to him during that time? And what about him meeting the Sheep prior to Mori? What about the fourteen years he was alive prior to Mori?! It’s just bonkers to me, man.

To any poor soul who read all this, you’re absolutely insane and I salute you. Now, I should probably either work on writing, or get some sleep.

[snowdrrops]

EVERY VALETINE'S ONWARDS

feat. ! soukoku/double black

Chuuya walks with a spring in his step, with a hint of a smile plastered on his lips, a bouquet of flowers under his arm. Unlike most days, he decides not to take a taxi back to his apartment. Walking seemed like the better option to him, probably due to his good mood.

As he made his way through the busy streets of Yokohama, he notices a vast majority of people who also seemed like they were in a better mood than most days. After all, it was Valentine’s day.

Ah, Valentine's day. The day for lovers to express their affections through the act of gifting chocolate or flowers.

It was not as if Chuuya had waited day and night for this day to come, since he's been single for almost his entire life (he hopes it will not stay this way for long). With this in mind, imagine his surprise when a bouquet of roses was shoved into his face the moment he entered his office this morning. Turns out, one of his subordinates had been harbouring a secret admiration (or was it infatuation? Chuuya couldn’t remember the specifics of what she said) towards him.

Hm, I should get some fine wine to savour tonight…, he thinks to himself, and his train of thought comes abruptly to a stop as he rounded a corner and spots a familiar silhouette.

Chuuya rubs his eyes once. Then twice. He pauses in his tracks. This has to be an illusion, because there’s no way in any universe that Dazai would buy flowers for someone on Valentine's Day.

Chuuya must've been gaping at him for a while, because Dazai turns to look at him and scowls.

Regaining his composure, Chuuya walks towards him, already coming up with ideas on who Dazai intends to give these flowers to. Maybe it was that brunette, with the blue eyes and charming demeanour? No… perhaps that blonde who had some strange obsession with alcohol, then?

“Chuuuuya!” Dazai gives him a sugar-sweet smile and it makes Chuuya want to wipe it off his face (by punching him, obviously).

“Getting flowers, I see,” Chuuya states, eyeing the combination of pink carnations and deep red roses.

“Didn’t you purchase a bouquet, too?” Dazai asks, gaze dropping down to the bouquet tucked safely under Chuuya’s arm.

“No, I received this,” Chuuya replies, pride dripping off his tone.

“Huh?! You got flowers, Chuuya?!”

“Hey! Don’t look so shocked, bastard!”

“All those years when we worked together, you never got flowers!”

“Well, not anymore,” Chuuya announces proudly, a hand on his hip.

Dazai thinks for a moment before replying. “Do you like them, then?”

“Huh, who?”

“The person who gave you flowers.”

Taken aback, he says “Huh, that never crossed my mind… Well, she’s pretty. Has a good fashion sense.”

“Would you date her, Chuuya?”

“Eeeehh, date her? Don’t know ‘bout that. Honestly, I’m just grateful for the flowers.”

A soft sigh escapes Dazai, and Chuuya almost fails to catch it.

“Oi, what are you sighing about?”

Dazai throws him a glance before looking away and letting out a laugh. “Nothing, just wondering if you plan to stay single for the rest of your life if this continues.”

“Of course not. It’s just…”

“Hmm?”

I can't imagine myself with anyone who's not you. Chuuya pushes that thought aside.

Chuuya stops to look at Dazai, before realising they’ve walked quite a distance. The sun has set and a blanket of darkness has enveloped the city. His stomach growls.

“Hungry, shorty?” Dazai asks teasingly.

Chuuya huffs, “Let’s go get some dinner.”

Any other day, Chuuya was a hundred percent sure Dazai would request to have some type of expensive steak or beef, but when Chuuya ask what he’d like to eat, all he got in response was a simple, “Oranges.”

“Normal people won’t have oranges for dinner.”

But Chuuya relented anyway, and bought some sandwiches along with four oranges from the mini-mart near them.

“Let’s go to Yokohama Port,” left Chuuya speechless; however, he trailed after Dazai anyway. This had been their dynamic the day their partnership began: Dazai led, Chuuya followed.

And although Chuuya was perfectly satisfied with crushing his enemies with gravity, a small voice in his head occasionally wishes to be the partner of the mastermind, helping Dazai improvise or work on his already elaborate schemes, not just his assistant who carries out the assassinations. Chuuya shuts this voice down most of the time, but some days it possesses his being, his head full of ‘what-ifs’.

They sit by the port side by side, the distinct and sweet smell of the orange filling the air as Dazai peels it open, splitting it into half. He pops one half into his mouth and offers the other to Chuuya.

Chuuya’s gaze travels from the orange to Dazai, who waits for him to accept it. Hesitantly, he picks it up from Dazai’s outstretched hand, their fingers brushing each other's for a moment. A jolt of electricity prickles Chuuya's skin as he mutters a soft, "Thanks."

The ocean is tranquil. The waves crash against sandy shores, only to recede and come back even stronger. A few ships are docked into the port, large crates of cargo stacked atop each other like building blocks.

“Are you going to tell me why you didn’t want to eat at some five-star restaurant yet?” Chuuya says, reaching for the second orange.

Dazai’s eyes are shut. His hair sways in the direction of the wind, and if he was a total stranger to Chuuya, he might’ve looked like a calm and ordinary civilian of the city.

Chuuya silently thought to himself that he would choose the Dazai he knew over a stranger any day, but he quickly got rid of that thought, discarding it like dandelion seeds in the wind, never to be seen again.

“No restaurants around here serve oranges for dinner.”

Chuuya tilts his head slightly to the left, his confusion visible.

Dazai meets Chuuya’s gaze, and Chuuya resents the fact that Dazai's eyes are clouded over by some unreadable emotion.

“Share an orange with me,” is all Dazai asks for. Chuuya is unable to pin down the exact reason why, but he does what is asked of him anyway.

He separates a single slice from the whole orange and hands it to Dazai.

“Stingy, are we now?”

Chuuya glares at him but his tone held mischievousness, “Don’t forget that I paid for this, bastard.”

Dazai throws him a smile. It's ninety nine percent insincere, with just maybe a sprinkle of gratitude hidden beneath the snarky surface.

“How does it taste?”

Dazai regards this question with a cocked eyebrow, and a smirk begins to form on his lips. Chuuya could practically see the wheels in Dazai's head working, slowly forming a new idea.

In one swift motion, he grabs Chuuya by the coat and pulls him close. So close that he can see a tint of red forming on Chuuya’s face.

“Only one way to find out.”

Chuuya doesn’t even get the chance to retort before he feels the sweet taste of the orange on his lips.

Dazai lets go of him, his smirk even wider than before. “Why so shocked, shorty? It is Valentine’s day, after all.”

“You haven’t kissed me since Christmas Eve.”

“Oh, you’ve been keeping track?” Dazai teases, never not amused by Chuuya getting annoyed with him.

“One day, I’ll kill you myself,” Chuuya replies.

Wordlessly, Dazai held out another slice of the orange to Chuuya. “Share this orange with me, Chuuya.”

Later, back in Chuuya’s apartment, Dazai places a bouquet of pink carnations and deep red roses into a vase. He smiles in satisfaction, before setting it down on the living room floor.

He pours himself a glass of water and sits on the sofa, eyes raking over every corner of Chuuya’s home. Someday, this might be his home too.

The clock strikes four. If memory serves him right, Chuuya got up at five on the dot. He had an hour. Dazai walked over to the shelf where there were more than thirty photo frames displayed.

Dazai found himself in a few of the photos, members of the Port Mafia took up the majority of them and one particular picture caught Dazai’s eye.

Yokohama Port had clearly been the main focus of the picture, but Dazai had photobombed probably at the very last minute, and it resulted in half of the port being covered by Dazai’s smiling face. He had his signature black coat on, which meant that this was taken back in their partnership days.

There was a timestamp on the bottom left of the photo, which read ‘14/2’. The very first Valentine’s they had spent together.

That day feels lightyears away. A lot has changed, so have Dazai and Chuuya. They’ll never be fifteen again and somehow, Dazai doesn’t feel any nostalgia for those simple days. He knows that his future Valentines’ will be filled with Chuuya, until the end of time.

And so it did.

* ˚ ✦ directory

[nacaharachuya]

Okay.. I've been an observer for a while and currently I'm just stumbling upon your upcoming Houseki no Kuni au so here I come with offerings to your shrine. I've been secretly binging the HNK tag on your blog so please forgive me >_< It's one of my favorite franchises and to hear my favorite author get into it... It's really an honor!

Chuuya, after Dazai's supposed "capture", becomes devasted and demoralized. He goes into a grief period, and so does Ango. But his translates to him stuffing himself inside a library without ever going out, while Chuuya becomes more cynical, reckless, angry, and aggressive. The fact that he is without a partner makes everything worse.

To add to his trauma, occasionally he would get glimpses of Dazai out of the corner of his eye and he, for the life of him, can't tell if it's real or not. He's in the moon, being used for god knows what, but this apparitions feel so real. From a distance, he sees him staring out the sea but he's gone the moment he looks back again. He knows he's hallucinating, probably. He has vivid dreams of Dazai and he swears the touches he feels during them are as authentic as can be but maybe he truly is going insane.

Chuuya keeps a small shard of Tourmaline wrapped in gauze in his room, hidden. Those were the only ones they found the time they woke up from their hibernation along with Oda's pieces. And when Dazai finally reappears, a culmination of grief, anger, relief, and confusion washes over him and... Yeah, he nearly strikes him with his sword. To add to the pain, those alleged "hallucinations" indeed were real and it makes Chuuya feel more toyed with.

YOURE FLATTERING ME TOO MUCH ANON 😭😭♥️♥️♥️ ILY ILY ILY ILY. Thank you so much for your support and thank you for staying with me. I love you to no end. YOUR GIVING ME AN HONOR BABE!!! YOU!! Getting asks like this makes me so happy, so I’m sending you much love.

BUT YES. I know losing a partner sends them of the deep end in hnk, especially with this fabricated backstory I’ve made for them. Chuuya being born one day, and then dazai the very next which i imagine is super rare all together. They would have been together since birth quite literally, so the bond would be deeper than the other gems. Not to mention, they’re freakishly good with each other. Dazai starts out as strategy and Chuuya with battle, but Dazai ends up being really good in battle. I feel as if he would also be able to figure a lot of things about lunarians as well, if you know what I mean. But, they would have been an indomitable team.

So, when Dazai leaves (and I’m talking at least 50-100 years because maybe he does this weird soul searching thing or maybe he’s just so upset he hibernates for too long or something I have to figure out) Chuuya is confused and upset because if dazai was taken he should have been able to protect him. Like you said, he would be completely demoralized. No one wants to be around Chuuya because he feels like he essentially has failed him and himself and the other gems. It’s a mess for everyone. No one can partner with Chuuya, he’s too hard to tell unless someone like Dazai were to be there. He starts working nonstop, he’s not ringing the bell or telling people when lunarians come on his watch he’s just doing it himself.

And then, thru the haze of hallucinations, he’s getting a very dangerous vendetta. He thinks if they capture him, he can murder them all and get Dazai and their brethren back. It’s the least he can do for them, because he’s strong and the strong must protect the weak. The shard of tourmaline he keeps he would talk too as well, and on his birthday, he carries it around with him.

Dazai’s return though? Chuuya wouldn’t believe it. Dazai would come to him first though, and it would be a shit show if you’ve ever seen one.

[irasamu]

𓍯 LOVE IS THE PROFOUND SENSATION, I AM OF UNYIELDING PASSION ; a dazai osamu fic snippet.

summary. you came. he left. dazai left. the man you were dying to reunite with left without even glancing back at you and you might just go mad.

tw. breakdown (minor), mori and reader having a manipulative/abusive dynamic, reader showing signs of her fucked up mental health.

𓍯 . imagine having such bad luck that you miss the last chance ever to meet dazai by just five fucking minutes.

five minutes ago, he left.

five minutes later, you came.

after years of being away, you finally came and he isn't here because lo and behold-- that bastard left.

he left.

you just missed the last chance to reunite with him.

behind you stands chuuya who looks as betrayed by that man but chuuya doesn't get it. no one will.

no one will. no one will. no one will. no one will --

"hey, come on, don't dwell on that bastar --"

"it's impressive how he was able to escape. man, never thought anyone would be able to escape but it's a given since its him -- he did create most of the security arrangements here-- we need to get rid of it. every person he appointed too. all his ideas and plans --"

"... hey--" chuuya kisses his teeth as you do not listen, staring out of the ceiling length windows from mori's office as you go on and on.

"-- that kid akutagawa? i'll take him in. oh we can't get rid of him. he's too valuable. my room -- i need a new one-- i need to tell mori-sama i need a new room and my hair? i need a new hairstyle. also -- fuck." you curse as your shoulder blade cries out in pain, looking straight to see chuuya's arm pinned against your neck as he keeps you pinned against the wall and your shoulders slump. "right. we need to get rid of you as well."

chuuya's eyebrows rose as he stared right into your dazed eyes, hiding the panick and worry very well as he stares at you so coldly it makes you clench your jaw.

"he left. mori-sama sent me away and -- and because of that -- i-- why did he sent me away?" you look pitiful in chuuya's eyes, almost on the verge of a breakdown and over who? someone like dazai? oh lord...

yet why does he feel more sympathy than disgust or pity for you? why does he remember all those poems written by those lovesick poets?

"he won't die. you are underestimating that bastard." chuuya offers comfort, comfort which is mockery to you. it makes you see red because he does not get it.

"i am! because i didn't get time to go on many missions with him! i didn't know him like you did! i don't even know if he still likes sweets or not!" you scream out, a sob ripples out of your throat next as you shakily grab chuuya's jacket and cling to it as if it's your lifeline. "why did you guys sent me away!? i didn't even get to spend much time with him!" you cry.

because chuuya spent time with him to know this much about him. because everyone else except you got to see him everyday while you lived in memories of him. because you worked your ass off everyday in hopes of one day meeting him again and when that day came, he left.

"listen --" yet chuuya stops speaking, your neck feels a piercing pain spread through it before you close your eyes and fall limp in chuuya's arms, a syringe stuck on your neck which chuuya gently pulls out and looks behind to see elise -- more matured and grown as she sorrowfully stares at your unconscious form -- and mori who has a blank look on his face but chuuya knows better than to assume the boss isn't fazed because from his prodigy leaving and his assumed heir breaking down, mori's original plans crumbled. and even as chuuya stares at mori now, he knows the older man is making new tactics and strategies, adapting to this surprising new situation.

you didn't have time to register the pain in your throat, the throbbing in your head, the burning behind your eyes or the emptiness clawing at your heart as you stare directly at the man. his stare is blank but it makes you uncertain about yourself. his stare is the kind which makes you unconscious and makes you feel as if you don't fit in your skin.

"you must be exhausted from your journey... and then suddenly learning of dazai leaving... i assume it was a lot for you to take." he speaks so kindly and warmly. tears gather in your eyes again.

mori gets up from his place on a stool next to your bed, he approaches you and places a hand against your forehead to check if you have a fever or not.

"but that's disappointing." mori clicks his tongue as he leans down to whisper against your ear, his scarf brushing against your jaw as he does so, "you of all people should not be so easily affected. it's really disappointing. you failed me on the very hour you came back. should i send you away again or am i wasting my time on you? remember unless you have made a name for yourself -- which you haven't yet-- you are replaceable. and it won't take me more then five minutes to find eager candidates who'll be eager to take your place." and he leaves.

your eyes stay glued to his disappearing figure, heart thumping violently in your chest as you ponder over his words and somewhere along the way, the fear of being replaced is so real it's making your body shake as if you are in some kind of delirium. this is one hell of a welcome back.

you snicker. would you have worked just as hard if you knew you were never gonna meet dazai? would you really go shopping and buy all those items which reminded you of him?

you clasp your hand over your mouth before doubling over, cackling. it's all so pitiful that it's making you laugh. he hurt you in a way no one ever can. no. he made you mad. mad in love. a mad woman living in her delusions. and now suddenly reality is slapping you. the seductive amd tempting delusions leave. unless you meet them daily by indulging in alcohol.

maybe you are actually going mad because as you laugh, you imagine the warmth his cold fingers would provide if he were to hug you from behind right now, he would probably lay his cheek on your head, his fingers slowly dragging up your arms and towards your shoulders before he wraps it around your neck and kisses your head.

you might be going mad. actually. laying your head down on the soft pillows, you laugh at yourself. "fuck you. fuck you dazai osamu."

like a wanderer with no definite destination to go to, you feed your emptiness with worldly pleasure. till how long can you go on pretending as if dazai osamu isn't a religion you are the devoted follower of?

[starfly-lumi]

Hi! I hope it's ok to ask for a poly yandere soukoku x reader fic where soukoku manipulate and gaslight the reader (gender neutral) .I would really appreciate it ❤❤❤❤

chains of love !! ♡ ⫶ SFW

˖꒰ sipnosis . . . you can't scape from the suicide maniac, but the ginger with angry face is no way better ꒱♡

˖꒰ yan! dazai osamu x gender neutral! reader x yan! chuuya nakahara ꒱♡

˖꒰ waring(s) . . . delusional, obsessive & possessive behavior, gaslighting, manipulation, reader going insane, little metion of suicide, stalking, cursing & kidnapping (only metion in the end) ꒱♡

˖꒰ note . . . YESS THOSE TWO ARE SO FUNNY TO WRITE FOR like they already fight a lot man, imagine when they're yandere for the same reader. chaos with big emphasis in chaos. dazai is expert in gaslighting people and you can't tell me he isn't. it's kinda short ig??? still, i think this one was okay since i didn't write anything for like 2 years. thanks for the request! hope you enjoy!! ꒱♡

˖꒰ masterlist . . . ꒱♡

the first time you meet dazai, he was so silly. it was funny, really, he had this charisma that make you want to know more and more about him. even his flirt was funny.

he always had something to say, about how good you looked that day, how he liked the way you did your hair; always complimenting you. he didn't talk a lot about him, specially when you asked about his childhood and those personal questions. it was nice anyways, you knew that not all people wanted to tell everything about them.

he was nice, until he wasn't nice anymore.

chuuya was someone you knew before you meet dazai. he was caring, even if he was in the silent way. like a "i'm not asking if you're okay, but are you okay?" type. he became more open to you with time, of course. it was a relationship he and you appreciate, even if he wasn't saying it all the time.

the way he cared about you was the most sweet thing you have ever seen, you swear. he was a gentleman indeed.

when they saw each other, calling you just at the same time when they saw you on the street, they stoned there for some time.

it get worse after that.

they didn't exactly tell you how they meet before you. the only thing you got from dazai was that chuuya was a kid with some weird abandonment issues or whatever, and chuuya only told you dazai was a suicide bastard. they said they really hate the other, but it doesn't always looks like that.

after that, they were always there. you could see them everywhere. it drive you insane.

you could be talking with one of them and the other wil just suddenly jump out of nowhere.

they started to act possessive, with actions and words. a hand over your shoulder, on you back, suddenly over you, saying that you should spend time with only one of them and always asking who the hell was texting you.

they were so childish that even you got mad at some point. it wasn't like either of them where you boyfriend, so why did they acted like this?

oh, but boy if you shouldn't have to say that.

you were no stupid, but when dazai's words can't be anything but true —compared to your right now devasted self— you have no room to talk. in fact, you don't think you have the words to tell him that he's wrong.

"why do you keep acting like you don't like being here?" he would said. "in reality, you love the fact that you have someone who has control over you. someone who can promise you that you'll be safe and loved forever."

he was awful. no, you don't want this. there's no way you do. but what could you say to him? "no, i very much liked my life before right in the way it was?"

at the start, you run to chuuya for confort. even if you knew that this was a plan made for the two of them, just to make you love them as much as they loved you. he wasn't the one type that just go and try to manipulate you, right?

but you were also wrong about that. he was the worst.

when dazai told you that you asked for it, you could tell that he was trying to manipulate you. even if you always drown yourself in the possibility that you may have asked for it.

but chuuya was so damn sure you loved him. that you truly wanted to stay here, with him and with dazai even.

"don't you love me? there's no way you don't, right?" the way you could see in his eyes pure knowledge. like if he knew everything about you. you almost say you did. because he sounded and looked like he really knew you, in some deep place, did. even you thought "maybe i do". that's how convinced he was.

you go insane fast, with dazai and chuuya always having something to make you doubt of your own thoughts.

you didn't even have time to think about how to scape, nor for trying to know how the heck did they come to terms for "share" you and don't kill each other everytime they start a discussion. and for when you finally realize, it's way too late for that.

they can say you three are in a relationship all they want, but are you really if they never asked if you wanted to be with them? at the end, it's you the one who decides if you just let it happen or fight until the end. though, i don't think fight them would do you any good. you already are one with the chain they put on you.

[dinosaurtsukki]

⸺𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓀 27: i should be over all the butterflies (finale)

i should be over all the butterflies | a chuuya x gn!reader smau

a/n: wow, so here's another smau coming to a close. this ended up being much longer than i thought it would be but it was entertaining to write until the very end. i hope you guys like the final chapter and please let me know what you think of it !!

also, i'm sure some of you have been curious about the title. well, it's actually based on the song 'still into you' by paramore. when i first listened to that song i kinda imagined vocalist!chuuya (it's because of the orange hair). if you like, give it a listen while reading this last chapter

ever since he first started performing with the mafia dogs, chuuya had never felt stage fright or even remotely anxious before singing onstage. he even surprised himself when he came to the realization that performing was just second-nature to him.

but god was he nervous now.

usually, he was the one who hyped up the crowd before playing but right now, chuuya busied himself with fiddling with the height of the mic stand as tachihara and dazai took on the role.

"hey everyone!" dazai yelled into the microphone. the crowd in front of the stage cheered in unison.

"you may know us as the mafia dogs," tachihara continued. "but right now, you can think of us as the newest members of the journalism club."

"yeah, we actually just sent our application forms earlier," dazai laughed, glancing sideways at chuuya with a look that expressed 'dude, your turn to say something.'

"so, uh," chuuya cleared his throat. "we're actually going to perform a new song."

the crowd cheered once again and that put a smile on his face. he scanned the people standing in the front row until his eyes landed on you. chuuya bit back a laugh at the matching mustard shirt and pants you were wearing that made it impossible for him to spot. right beside you was ranpo, in crutches but mostly leaning on oda for support.

chuuya took in a deep breath and calmed himself down. having akutagawa right next to him, who looked the happiest he's ever been as he fiddled with the buttons on his keytar, definitely helped.

"this song is actually dedicated to someone. well, two people," chuuya clarified after exchanging a look with dazai. "and, i hope our thoughts come across in this song."

chuuya nodded at dazai and akutagawa, feeling his breath swell in his chest as he began to sing.

"can't count the years in one hand that we've been together. i need the other one to hold you, make you feel, make you feel better"

the roar of the audience gave chuuya a surge of confidence and he grinned widely as he continued to sing. it was always a bit nerve-wracking performing a new song and hoping their fans would like it. after all, he and dazai just poured out their raw emotions into the lyrics and hoped for the best.

for a split-second, chuuya's eyes darted over to make you out in the front row of the crowd again. was that a grin on your face or was he just imagining things? chuuya tried not to let the anxiety grip him.

"because after all this time, i'm still into you"

but at the end of the day, chuuya knew he would "perish and die", in the words of dazai, if he never let you know how he felt.

"i should be over all the butterflies but i'm into you. and baby even on our worst nights, i'm into you."

chuuya could tell that everyone was getting into the song by the time the chorus hit. the audience was jumping up and down in unison to the beat. dazai was leaning into the microphone singing the back-up vocals. tachihara had a wide, gleeful grin on his face he played the drums. even akutagawa was bobbing his head up and down to the music.

seeing all of them getting into the song gave chuuya just a bit of courage to lock eyes with you in the crowd as he sang the next line that condense all of his feelings.

"yeah after all this time, i'm still into you."

...

as soon as the mafia dogs started playing the song, one of the first thoughts in your head was "damn, chuuya's pants look really tight" and then "damn, chuuya looks really good onstage."

you've known him practically your whole life and even though back then he demonstrated no inclination at all for being a band vocalist, it looked like chuuya was born to be one. on the one hand, you felt bad that you two weren't close for the past few years. you would have enjoyed watching their earlier band practices and showing up for his first gig or watching him brainstorm new songs.

but getting to know chuuya again, especially this side of him, wasn't so bad. he was your best friend after all. and thanks to that little introduction he made before singing the song, chuuya's intentions were now clear as day to you.

"let them wonder how we got this far 'cause i don't even need to wonder at all"

you weren't sure if he could make you out in front of the crowd all, even if your mustard ensemble, much less see the expression on your face. there were probably hundreds of students in the campus square all watching and cheering to the mafia dogs' new song. but maybe, just maybe--

and there.

chuuya unmistakably met your gaze in the crowd and you smiled broadly at him in return as he ended the first chorus.

"yeah after all this time, i'm still into you"

'jesus christ, chuuya,' you thought as you smiled to yourself. 'you could have just sent me a text.'

...

"just so we're clear... you do know the song is dedicated to you, right?" ranpo said.

"i'm not that fucking dumb," you scoffed, flicking him on the forehead. right after the talent show, the three of you gathered near a bench just outside your dorm building. the crowds were slowly starting to thin out as well.

"is it... safe to assume that," oda spoke slowly beside him. you laughed slightly at the apparent hesitancy in his voice. "the other person is... me?"

"oda, i'm proud of you," ranpo grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. as if on cue, a text notification from oda's phone rang.

"you should take that like, right now," you insisted.

"really?" oda looked between you and ranpo. "do you need help with--?"

"i'll make it up the stairs on my own," ranpo huffed. "i'm not that helpless you know."

"right," you rolled your eyes. "says the guy who--"

"uh, y/n?"

you turned around to see chuuya approaching the three of you with his hands in his pockets and his guitar in its case on his shoulder. ranpo pushed you slightly forward before hurrying back to the dorm building in his crutches. oda waved goodbye before heading off in the other direction, leaving you and chuuya.

"so."

"so."

"nice... outfit," chuuya nodded at your shirt and pants.

"well, i've always had a thing for monochrome," you laughed, placing your hands on your hips. "look at your outfit though. i mean, can you even breathe in those pants?"

"not going to lie, i almost passed out on stage," chuuya joked and the two of you laughed in unison. "so... what did you think about the song?"

"hmm," you cocked your head to the side. "i think that whoever that song is dedicated to must be very lucky."

"really? then does that mean--"

"ranpo would absolutely love to be your boyfriend. or tachihara's. or is it akutagawa?" you interrupted him. chuuya stared at you with his mouth open before you burst into laughter.

"you should have seen the look on your face!" you pointed teasingly. "like your mouth was all open and everything. i gotta say chuuya i really--"

before you could even finish your sentence, chuuya had wrapped a finger around one of the belt loops of your mustard pants, pulling you close and kissing you right on the lips. instinctively, your arms wrapped around his neck and you felt both of chuuya's hands on your waist.

"you should see the look on your face," he whispered in a low voice as soon as you two parted. the smirk on his lips was enough to make you want to cover your face with your hands.

"i hate you chuuya," you whispered back much to his amusement.

"oh yeah, it sure seemed like you do." he flicked you on the forehead for good measure before walking off, leaving you to catch up to him.

"hey, hey. how did that song go again?" you asked, skipping next to chuuya. "i should be over all the butterflies... it's pretty catchy! you're gonna sing it for me again, right?"

"i literally just sang it for you."

"aw but i want one that's just for me. please chuuya?"

"...fine. maybe tomorrow."

a/n: and that is the end of the series! what happens to the characters next is all up to you guys (i do love an open ending for my fics). let me know what you all think and thank you for reading my series!

⸺𝓉𝒶𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

@kiyoobi ​​​​ @atsumusdomain ​​​​ @laure-chan ​​​​ @goodfoodxoxoxo ​​​​ @guardianangelswings ​​​​ @kei-ya ​​​​ @loisuke ​​​​ @whootwhoot ​​​​ @liz-multifandom-hotel @kac-chowsballs ​​​​ @violentfarewll @fyoyacanruinmylifethanks ​ ​​​ @nightmare-light ​​​​ ​ @miyakiyo0mi ​​​​ @whorefordazai ​​​​ @rirk-ke ​​​​ @cross-crye ​​​ @alohablue @duhsies ​​​ @alittlesimp @tetsustation @https-inarizaki @himboos @magpiemissy @hanazou @monochromaticelliot

reblogs and comments are much appreciated

[sainadazai]

Could I request #14 with Dazai Osamu?

Love this.

DISSAPEARING MAN

"He left y/n " Chuuya scoffs at your hopeful eyes.

"Maybe he is just undercover or something, he can't have left I-"

"Stop. Whatever you two had...it's over."

What did you have anyway? A partnership? Love? Hate? After years of working together you still didn't know. All you knew was that in the nights you were drunk together and in the mornings you were killing together.

Osamu was a constant in your life, no matter where you went, you could always rely on him. So what does that mean for you if Chuuya is right? If he's truly went off to join the ADA, and was now going to be your sworn enemy.

With no warning or anything you had returned home that night to see anything that belonged to him gone, and a note that read.

Love ya, don't try and find me ;)

He must've known you wouldn't listen, that you'd use those skills he taught you over the years. To get the answers he left you without. Yet he also giggled a bit from his windowsill view of you, as you smirked at the note. It was a challenge if anything.

Though you were smirking, tears had brimmed in your eyes, but you fought them back. You couldn't help imagining life without him, how dull it would be, how empty it would be. Then of course you felt at a loss for something you never had to begin with.

For even if you didn't want to admit it, you always had this idea of a future in your head. You never had one of those before Osamu, no one was worthy you suppose.

It wasn't all that specific, but it was always there, you were certain that your future held the two of you together, so maybe more so you were grieving the loss of your dream.

Still you wouldn't let a tear fall, father always made sure you remembered that nothing in this world is worth your tears. You're too special, too important, too strong to let such emotions burden you.

When he passed away, and the new boss took his place, he riminded you the same thing, so you couldn't cry then. Not over someone like Osamu, someone who, you suppose, doesn't deserve you.

Yet still, weeks after losing him, you feel your eyes begin to grow sore with no explanation at the sight of the bridge you first met him on. Every night when you forget you're sleeping alone, when you reach out to feel him, just to know he's safe and all you feel in cold sheet, the feeling arises.

The search for him isn't a hard one, he didn't even bother to leave the city, but when you walked up to him one day on the street in front of some empty coffee shop, words wouldn't come out. He was laughing along with some man you'd never seen before.

You'd heard him laugh before, but never like that, with his teasing personality still present, but a sincere sort of joy. With you, the conversations were mostly sarcastic and only tense.

Before seeing him like this you thought the tension was due to the words gone unsaid, and sexual attraction floating in the abiss. After, however you began overthinking. Could it be he just didn't love you enough to be happy with you? Around you?

The thoughts spiraled and spiraled until you felt a pinch on your arm, "quit dreaming, y/n. What did I tell you? He's gone."

Chuuya was right, and you both had work to get done, so you would have just walked away with him until a familiar voice caught your attention.

"Hey! Y/n! Long time no see!" It was smooth and teasing, because of course he knew you'd been looking for him, but it was just so fun to irk you. Or so he thought.

Unfortunately, the emotions you'd developed for whatever the two of you had were exceptionally fragile at the moment, and to think he wasn't even bothered at not having seen you in so long. Did he truly not care or miss you? Was he out fucking other women and making new friends and was he happier?

How dare he be happier, when he was so lucky to have met you in the first place.

"Osamu you prick, do you know what you've done! Leaving me like that with no goodbye, you fucking asshole. I hate you! I hate you for leaving me how dare you!?" You stepped up to him, hands swinging around to exentuate your point.

"Y/n-"

"And all for what? You know I-I can't even sleep without you, the beds too cold and I can never get the blankets tight enough. Work feels boring, all I have is stupid chuiya and his lame ass wine and he hates having fun. And when your gone, I keep thinking I might cry..."

"Y/n, you're really being a bummer, it's not like I'm not gonna keep loving you.." He smirked.

Loving you? When was gone? When he was your enemy?

"I gotta do this, it's to honor a good friend of mine, I'm just across the alleyway..." He giggled a bit, now understanding your misconception.

"B-but your note, you told me not to look for you.." you pulled the paper from your trench coat pocket, hoping that you hadn't just misunderstood everything.

"No~ it says 'you don't have to look for me'"

You deapanned. "You don't have to look because I left my new address on the back." He responded, sensing your confusion at his words.

"Im going home."

"No, wait come back! Come get coffee with us!! Y/n, your my girlfriend you have to meet my new co-workers!!!"

[starglow-xx]

(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!

*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧

i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas

if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe

atsushi with a tween! sister

ft. the armed detective agency

like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period

the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12

for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were

they assumed you were about 9-10ish

you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)

so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight

(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)

when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida

imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him

kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 

“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”

when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited

you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency

anything was better than the stupid orphanage

and besides!

you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?

at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness

his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others

pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world

and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother

pfftt like he could ever fail

but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation

with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you

what a sweetheart 🥺

he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you

you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point

but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you

like all the time

(y/n), here have this, you might need it”

“but nii-san you just gave me—”

“take it”

#1 spoiler

also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection

you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)

atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes

it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖

the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other

in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother

and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶

if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe

you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep

god i love him 🤧🤧

atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved

port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route

someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week

you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off

you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you

whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)

will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe

he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him

you are his reason to keep going

agency head canons !!

atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure

everyone can see it

except kunikida of course

kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency

you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary

he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon

atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it

sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”

he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you

yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you

she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!

atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy

yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you

she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc

also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time

“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”

“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”

fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure

bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe

along with cat talk!

most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless

“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”

“hmm i see...”

he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks

sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep

you always wake up with a blanket over you

dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work

walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff

also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone

he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain

he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.

is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first

he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail

“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”

“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”

always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day

ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all

loves it when you compliment him

if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you

“...and that’s how the crime happened”

“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”

atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you

“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”

“can i really?!”

“rANPO-SAN NO—”

ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 

the tanizakis are like siblings to you!

a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless

the two of them adore you and think you’re precious

atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two

hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)

sometimes you have sibling swap days

you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi

strange i know

each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing

junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent

like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those

naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)

besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)

he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger

and besides

he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister

“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”

“of course! don’t worry about it” :)

wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl

you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either

“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”

“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”

you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!

just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you

you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother

atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to

“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”

“hmm... im not sure...”

you and kenji talk abt anything and everything

he even teaches you how to take care of plants!

sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general

“wait where are we again kenji-san?”

“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”

“don’t worry! neither do i!”

bonus things!

yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what

“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”

you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door

“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”

ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused

suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood

it just clicked for everybody in the room

(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)

atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him

yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him

fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces

honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother

“why does this have to happen” :(

“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”

“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D

“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”

next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida

you know

the normal

you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that

it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can

kunikida takes care of math (obviously)

yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)

ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english

atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!

as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects

sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!

sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[soukoku-rivals]

Author's Note

There are so many things I would love to tell you! But, I decided to keep it short and simple. After all, Rivals is a comic, you're not here to read blocks of text.

I will address what are, in my opinion, most important issues.

1. Why is Fyodor actually alive after chapter 9?

Well, we had an 'in comic' explanation - Chuuya wants to believe Fyodor has some feelings for him after Fyodor intentionally missed all of his vital organs when stabbing him. Dazai tries to be a better person so he cannot simply kill someone who is already tied and defenseless, no matter how much he hates him.

Real life explanation - it was the best choice for the continuity. Rivals is very much an AU when it comes to Chuuya's past and quite possibly Dazai's past [I honestly know nothing about Dazai's past before 15. There might be something mentioned in Stormbringer but I avoid spoilers until we get official English translation]. However, it still takes place after season 2 of the anime and the Dead Apple movie. Which means season 3 comes after.

Basically, if you ignore the 15 episodes, you can imagine season 3 continues after Rivals and Dazai and Chuuya are somewhat dating at that point, which is also why Ranpo found it so easy to outsmart Chuuya. And then, all the events in the anime/canon slowly lead to them finding the Book and the Epilogue.

I know, you have to stretch your imagination a little to make that work, but honestly, it's fun to imagine Soukoku dating while all that stuff is going on.

Obviously, none of that could happen if Fyodor dies, so here you go!

2. Does Chuuya actually have feelings for Fyodor?

Short answer - yes. And it's not only because the author ships Fyoya. [I ship almost all Chuuya/X pairings, most notably Chuuya/Sigma, deal with it.]

As explained in the comic, Fyodor was there when Chuuya had nobody and nothing after he lost his memories. He told Chuuya they were partners and lovers, and Chuuya was his most loyal man. Obviously, that would influence Chuuya's opinion.

We, as readers, outside observers, didn't realle get to see much of their interactions [I couldn't make the chapters that long] but we did see that Fyodor is a manipulative bastard. But it wouldn't fully work if he wasn't gentle at times. As manipulative as Fyodor was, he has also shown compassion and care towards Chuuya in his state. That purposefully missed stabbing at the end only confirmed to Chuuya that Fyodor doesn't actually want him dead. Maybe he wants to hurt him to push him away, like Dazai did all those years ago? To protect him. To make sure the Mafia and Dazai know they aren't working together.

How can Chuuya not appreciate that? After all there was only one person before who hurt him not to actually hurt him but for his protection.

So yeah, Chuuya believes Fyodor has some feelings for him, he believes there might be a good person hiding in the rat, just like there was a good person hiding in Dazai. Dazai and Fyodor were too similar at one point for Chuuya not to develop any feelings for him.

I'm not saying it's healthy or logical. I'm saying this is how it happened.

3. Does Fyodor have feelings for Chuuya?

Short answer - also, surprisingly, yes! I mean, how can you not love Chuuya?

I couldn't really show it clearly in the comic. We already had so many characters and Fyodor/Fyoya weren't the focal point so I couldn't dive to deep. However, here is what I can say now.

At the start, obviously, Fyodor saw Chuuya only as a tool. Chuuya was a powerful weapon, with a powerful ability and most importantly, he served as a great distraction for Dazai.

Fyodor, however, made a mistake when he convinced Chuuya they were lovers. Because that meant he had to spend more time with him than originally planned. And as much as Fyodor hates abilities and believes they are a sin, he could not not notice all Chuuya's good qualities. Even rushing that mission to destroy some building, when he knew it was possible Chuuya wouldn't survive, was mostly because Fyodor wanted to push him away. And to push his feelings away. He knew he was growing fond of Chuuya and if he didn't stop that soon, he might grow some conscience.

Unfortunately for him, it was too late. And thus, we go back again to the train station stabbing. For all intents and purposes, the most beneficial thing for Fyodor to do was to kill Chuuya right there and there. With Chuuya dead he would have been able to leave with Atsushi, find the Book and leave Dazai broken after his love's death and Mafia without its most powerful weapon.

Fyodor just couldn't bring himself to do that.

4. Extra - unused sequel idea.

This has nothing to do with any unexplained plot points but, yeah, there was a sequel idea. A few actually. But let's go with the one that has most sense.

At the train station, after Soukoku leave, only Atsushi stays there to keep an eye on Fyodor while Loki searcher through his memories for the Book.

Unbeknownst to Atsushi, while Locke goes through Fyodor's memories, he finds something very interesting. A memory of Fyodor who looks like he's talking to his mirror reflection but his words are directed at Loki. And with a smile on his face, Fyodor informs Loki that the Book can change reality, he can destroy people and give them life. There is already a person created by the Book. From nothing! So, it is not entirely unbelievable to assume that it could bring somebody to life. Like, let's say, a certain red headed girl.

If Loki helps Fyodor escape, he will be able to bring Hela back to life.

Locke loves his daughter very much, so obviously, he agrees. And instead of lead to season 3 when Fyodor escapes, he get an Agency/Mafia vs Fyodor/Locke story.

This is not happening but it was a nice idea.

And this time, this is really it! There is nothing more left for me to say, Rivals is done!

Thank you so much for reading it, some of you were here for years, some joined only a few month ago, some will find this story in the future, but I thank you all the same! I would have never gotten this far without you. You are all very precious to me. I hope to see you soon, when @kkfil-soukoku starts updating.

And now, for a couple of unrelated announcements:

Merch design is going great. I have all die cut stickers and the second charm already finished, and most of them is already published on Kofi for supporters. Also, the Rivals sticker page is all drafted. Support me on Kofi to view them all and to get an extra sticker with your order: https://ko-fi.com/hayatepl

After Kiss Kiss Fall in <Love3 comic is done, I will be working on an original idea, to be published on Webtoons/Tapas. It's going to be a supernatural adventure story featuring a witch, a warrior and a dragon, set in modern times. For more info when that happens, follow me on @hayateart and @sylvankaart

I also started using twitter again: https://twitter.com/SylvankaArt

And instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sylvankaart/ [Yes, it's all SylvankaArt, I thought it would make it easier to remember. As for tumblr HayateArt blog will remain my fanblog for fanart but all original posts will be published on SylvankaArt.]

[odissey061]

Parenting with(out) you [pt. 2]

I didn’t specify very well in the last chapter, but the reader was a member in an organization similar to the Haunting Dogs (for the ones who read the manga), but with the difference that this organization was subdued to a politician, so their missions could also be like kill x person. She is a skilled killer and a very good fighter you have no idea about how many scenarios played in my mind with a Mafia!Dazai x Killer!reader. Dark couple power, guys--.

It’s also implied that the reader and Chuuya were friends when Dazai worked with the Mafia and when she escaped from her boss, Chuuya offered her a shelter (the first time Chuuya appears in the anime, he said he just arrived in Japan after spending some time in the east)

[Mild smut]

The gif has not plot purpose: I juast wanted admired once again this hottie in a white suit

 Your first encounter with Keiko… didn’t go very well: you teared up as soon as you saw her, but she hid behind her father’s leg, refusing to see you. Of course, Dazai told her that there was the possibility she could see you for the first time, but it was like three month ago and in the meanwhile the kid started to believe she was not going to meet you. For the first month, she saw you as a woman who wanted take away from her the only parent left. She only changed her behavior with you when Dazai scolded her harshly, because she said she hated you and she didn’t want to see you again. That was the first and the last time Dazai slapped her.

 Hearing those words, you started to cry too: you know it wouldn't be easy to make Keiko accept you in her life, but still… From another room, you listened to Dazai saying “I know is difficult for you; but she is your mother. I already told you that she didn’t leave us because she wanted, but because she was forced” and also “I just want the two women of my life to love each other, can you do this for daddy? ”.

 Then she came into yours and Dazai’s room and she sat on the bed, close to you. Keiko gazed at you for a long time, then she spoke:”You have the same hair as me and also your face is similar to mine. Daddy says that we can both understand him the most and that my character is really similar to yours when you meet for the first time. Are you really my mommy? You are not trying to take away my dad away from me, right?”. “No, of course not. I love you so much, Keiko. I’m sorry for disappearing, but I didn’t want to put yours and Osamu’s life in danger. I’m so, so sorry, Keiko”.

 Then you showed her your wallet: there was a folded photo of your daughter with Dazai. Only then Keiko understood you really were his mother and you were with her. She hugged you, crying, and begged you to don’t leave her again. “I will do everything in order to have your pardon” you said and with that words you firmed your own end. But we are going to see this later.

When you started to work at the ADA, you requested to be Yosano’s partner, due to your ability: you could force someone else to do what you wanted, but you had to hurt yourself and the more lethal the wound, more control you had. You and her became friends really fast since you were the woman more close to her age. Sometimes you helped her in her laboratory and other times you carried on a case alone.

You two often spent time together out of work and you accompanied her to go shopping under the other members of the Agency’s blessing, of course, but you refused whenever she proposed to you to drink together, saying that somebody was waiting for you at home  and she teased you about your lover. Well, she wasn’t completely wrong, but you were talking about your daughter. (Neither you or Dazai told your coworkers you were in a relationship and you also had a child).

At work, nobody knew that you two were engaged: the smarter ones understood that you and Dazai weren’t completely strangers, since you entered at work and left it at the same hours, really often you spent your breaks together etcc…; but they couldn’t imagine you were actually engaged (and you were parents!)

Let’s answer one of your questions: how did Dazai behave with you at work? Apparently, he treated you just like a colleague, but he subtly showed only to you how he cared for you. Dazai’s love language at work was impossible to notice until you knew him: every morning he left a cup of your favorite drink on the lab’s table, he was always slacking off or ignoring his work free when you had breaks and he spent them with you and he always searched for your eyes and smiled at you when you were in the same room (when you were in the lab, he often gazed at thee closed door. Kunikida seemed to have a super effective radar for when Dazai was distracted about you: every time he hit his head with the pile of documents he ignored). And he also loved caressing your hand when he passed by the spot where you were, or when you casually brushing his hair please, ask me to write something about this point T-T. His gestures were discrete and small, but they were there. you still preferred them to that time he made love to you in his study when he still worked for the Port Mafia cough cough.

You preferred to maintain a professional facade at work, but sometimes, at the first occasion nobody was looking, he took you in an unused room at the floor to spend some time with you alone ;). You two usually kissed for a long time, even if you seldom indulged in more carnal acts. You protested everytime, but Osamu insisted with his usual dramatic act that it was impossible to resist when you were so cute in that outfit. He also used the excuse that at home you had no privacy since Keiko was glued to your side, even when it was time to sleep much to Dazai’s mild annoyance since he couldn't do anything with you because Keiko slept between you and your boyfriend in your bed.

Speaking about your relationship, Yosano was the first who suspected that you and Dazai were engaged. In the Agency’s bar there was the rumor, between the maids, that Dazai had found a s/o, since every morning he bought for them a cup of their favorite drink. A day, you, Osamu and your respective partners went there to have a meal and a maid was thanking this Dazai’s s/o for existing, because thanks to them nor her of her colleague were harrassed by the question of committing a double suicide together. With a mild anger in your voice, you asked her to be more specific and for every word spilled by the maid, Dazai’s face became paler. needless to say, that night he slept in Keiko’s bed, as your daughter was with you. Yosano connected the dots and she understood you were something more than colleagues, but she kept your secret.        

 But how did the Agency find out you had a daughter? That’s a fun story. Remember when I said that the quote “I’ll do anything for you” doomed your downfall? Well, the little rascal (your kid) took this really seriously. This wicked brat listened to you talking with your boyfriend about you abandoning her and she exploited that to steal your attention: were you talking with Dazai on the sofa? She sat between the two of you, saying that she wanted to play with you. Were you working at home? She cried so much loudly that you gave up what you had to do and the list went on. It took a while to Dazai to realize that his daughter was stealing you away. You were fooled by Keiko’s angelic face, but Dazai knew this little devil too much well to be tricked. (He was one fours surprised for the cleverness she showed and three fours annoyed by it. Dazai, what did you expect from your own daughter XD).  Having said that, a day Keiko feigned to be sick in order to spend more time with you, but you had to work and the babysitter wasn’t available, so you thought bringing her to work was a good idea (spoiler: it wasn't).

 The first ones to see you with Keiko were Atsushi, Kyoka and Kunikida. A few seconds later came Kenji and the Tanizaki’s siblings. They all were fooled charmed by your daughter and they started to play with her, complimenting how cute she was. Then Naomi said:”Somehow, she looks familiar” and, after staring at her for a while, they all agreed, trying to understand who the father was. Kunikida shivered for a second noticing how similar she was to Dazai, but he couldn't imagine Dazai having a lover, let alone being a father. You heard a crash behind you and when you turned you saw a very much shocked Yosano who held in her hand a cup handle and Rampo with the open mouth as he was eating a candy. Your partner knew your relationship with Dazai, but discovering he was also a father shocked her too much, Rampo probably understood everything when he saw Keiko.

 Atsushi wondered:”But who is the father? Does he work here too?”. The poor, naive Atsushi, didn’t have the slightest idea and you couldn't even have the time to answer, that Keiko jumped off Kenji’s lap, screaming:”Daddy!!”. All the members turned to see Keiko clinging to Dazai’s leg. Kunikida’s lenses audibly cracked, some of them felt the urge to sit and Yosano had to assist a couple of faintings. Some seconds passed in the utter silence as they tried to metabolize the shock, then they started to assault you and Dazai with questions.      

 The sight of Dazai lifting up his daughter was a sight to behold and eventually they accepted the fact that Dazai is a father. the image of Dazai giving a esquimo kiss to his daughter, holding her in his arms, has me melting on the floor. “How old is she?” Naomi asked and you answered:”She’s four years old”. She thought about it for some seconds:”But if she’s four that means that you and Dazai met when he worked with the Port Mafia, isn’t it?” and luckily Yosano was quick:”There are some things that are private in a couple. Now let’s work that we already lost enough time”. She saved you before the questions became too personal.

 Dazai and Kunikida left the office for a mission and you went in the lab with Yosano, telling Keiko to don’t come in, since the room was full of lethal weapons. Feeling abandoned, she cried as loudly as she could, thinking that you’d rushed over she used the same technique at home when you are with your boyfriend. It worked every time. But you didn’t. Rampo decided to take care of her: he shared his candies with her and he asked her to help him to resolve his cases. Keiko quite enjoyed staying with him.

 After a couple of hours, when Dazai came back to the office, all of your colleagues kicked you three out, begging you to take a stroll with your child. Above all the experience was traumatic and the shock too huge for them, but what surprised them was that even someone like Dazai could have a family and be a good father. It’s murmured that that day, when Kunikida went at home, he declared:”After four years of being Dazai’s partner, I asked to the Grim Reaper to take me, but he said “no, you have to suffer a bit more” and he placed Dazai’s daughter on my path”.

You also wondered how Chuuya would react to a mini Dazai? you sadists. You, Keiko and Osamu were in a luna park to spend some quality time together as a family. Both yours and Dazai’s guard was very high, considering your past works, especially when Keiko was with you. Recently, you heard news about a child kidnapper, so you were even more anxious, but Osamu reassured you: nobody was so stupid to kidnap the daughter of an ex Port Mafia director and of an ex agent. Right? No

All happened in a second. The park was really crowded and in a second you were holding Keiko’s hand and in the next one she was no longer by your side. Surprisingly, Dazai was the most scared one: he told you before that the reason he stopped to think about suicide was Keiko, so he was really attached to his daugher (more than a normal parent). But the moment of fright and bewilderment was really brief and in the next second, both you and Dazai analyzed the situation with utmost rationality. You watched in Dazai’s eyes and you shivered: they were ruthless, without a shred of magnanimity, just like whe he woked under Mori's command

But the kidnapper was doubly unlucky: he kidnapped not only Keiko, but also Elise-chan. When Mori knew that she was kidnapped, he sent Chuuya to retrieve her. His orders were: make sure that guy regretted turning against the Mafia (you know, usual Mori stuff).

He found the kidnapper hideout and he killed him without any problems, but the troubles for him had just started. As soon as the man was dead, ten kids or more ran away from that place (Chu Chu instructed them to go to the nearest police station), but a brunette kid stayed there.

Keiko, to put it simply, fell in love with him as soon as she saw him using his ability. Osamu didn’t mention at all he was a mafioso (he wanted to show to her daughter only his best sides), but he talked about his ex partner. She clinged to Chuuya’s leg with adoranting eyes. Chu Chu was a bit creeped out: why was that child not scared? She was kidnapped, for the God’s sake

Chuuya tried to push her off, but he miserably failed. He gazed more carefully at Keiko and with dread, he admitted that she somehow reminded him of his ex partner, but that was only a coincidence, right? Elise asked her:”Why weren’t you scared?” and Keiko answered:”Because I know that mommy and daddy will come soon”. Then she looked at Chuuya, trying to remember how her father called him and she said:”Chibi-chan?”.

And the cruelty of reality hit Chuuya like a thunder: not only that wasting bandage garbage was still alive, but he also reproduced! He wanted to die, no, better: he wanted to kill Dazai once for all. But the final stroke arrived with the next question:”Do you want to marry me? Daddy told me to ask this question to a very special person”. Being proposed by Dazai’s daughter… in what other wicked ways his ex partner did try to send him to the Creator?! That was even more successful that putting a bomb in his car

Luckily, you and your boyfriend arrived at that moment. At the sight of his daughter clinging to the person he hated the most, Dazai almost had a stroke (to Chuuya’s happiness). As soon as Keiko saw you two, she runned in your direction (Chuuya was two times happier).

“You bastard, what did you say to her abou-” he started to yell at Dazai’s direction, but you interrupted him:”Thank you Chuuya for saving our daughter”. And you hardly hit Dazai's stomach with your elbow, so that he thanked Chuuya too.

In Chuuya’s mind something activated and he came to the general comprehension of what happened four years ago and why you met him some time later; but he didn’t say anything about it. He changed the topic:”You are the only woman in the world that can handle him, so be sure to be by his side”. That sounded almost like a blessing, but you didn’t dare to say it. “It’s what I intend to do”.

And walked in different directions, then Keiko yelled:”The next time we see again, tell me your answer” and you were almost sure to hear Chuuya trip to the ground. “What question have you asked?” you wondered half curious and half amused and she smiled dreamly:”If he wanted to marry me”. This time was Dazai’s turn to stumble on his steps. You laughed so hard that you stomach hurt, but you couldn’t stop, Osamu glared at you with a look of betrayal.

For the whole walk to your home, Dazai kept telling her how Chuuya was a bad person, but Keiko retorted that someone as beautiful as Chuuya couldn’t be a bad person. For a second Dazai glared at her with a sad smile, wondering if she would have told the same thing after he confessed to her all of his crimes. Knowing his thoughts, you tightened the grip of your hand on his, smiling:”For Keiko, you are the best person in the world, no matter what you did in the past”, then you added with a cheeky smile:”even better than Chuuya, I bet”.

 After tucking Keiko in her bed, you and your boyfriend retired in your bedroom. Dazai whined:”My daughter, my sweet, beloved and innocent daughter… How could she propose to another man? Especially him. She broke my heart: until yesterday she wanted to marry me. What did that slug do to her?”. You chuckled:”Are you sure it’s his fault? When we arrived it seemed like Chuuya was shocked too. I admit too that he’s beautiful”.

 At those words, Dazai’s body froze, but you didn’t notice it, too focused on changing yourself for the night. “You and him seem to be well acquainted” his voice was somehow restrained and it was just your impression, or Dazai was jealous? “Not really. When you were in the Port Mafia we met only twice, but after my escape, he saved me. I had a high fever, no place to stay and I didn’t eat in the last days. I was probably on the verge of death. He took me in his home and he helped me to get better”.

 In your stream of words, you didn’t notice that Dazai’s mood changed. In the Port Mafia he was possessive and he get jealous really often, but at least he vocalized it in his words or by action; but this Dazai was different: since once you got together, he never showed any sign of uneasiness, probably because now he knew that there was no possibility that you could fall for someone else. But Chuuya was the exception and knowing that he was by your side when you rejected his help, fueled his insecurity. And in the next second, you were under him, his hands already on your pajamas.

Notes: if you are curious about certain aspects in this AU, you can always ask me

 You lost your occasion to say:”Nothing that you imagine happened, really”, because his lips were already on yours, kissing you until you didn’t have any more oxygen in the lungs. That night, Osamu kept asking who you loved not really for reminding you but for himself. He made love to you all night along, coaxing an orgasm after another one from your body, hungry for your love. You were quite sure that the both of you have been quite vocal and you hoped to don’t wake up Keiko. After he washed you, you took his face in your hands, saying only two words, a single question, Osamu gazed surprised at you for a while, then he smiled, answering your question with three letters: yes.

[bungou-stray-dingus]

Osamu and Chuuya with an S/O who helps them get over the emotional trauma of their previously relationship, which was abusive? Thank you so much, if you get to this. Love you!

I love you too bb!!!

If anyone is ever going through anything like this, please do not hesitate to talk to me or someone you know and trust. You are not alone. I’ve been through, and my sister has been through a relationship like this. Domestic violence is never okay!

(Warning : talk of physical and mental abuse, domestic violence and murder)

Dazai

You were preparing dinner for Dazai and yourself, it was supposed to be a peaceful night with just the two of you together. It was a night that the two of you had been looking forward to, especially after the long hours that the two of you worked during the week. Relaxing inside, curled up next to each other on the couch watching a movie, it was a perfect Saturday night.

You had thought for sure that you had put the glass in the center of the counter, but your eyes must have misjudged. The glass cup fell off the counter in slow motion, but you weren’t quick enough to catch it. You watched it hit the floor, the shards caught the light as it shattered into pieces that were scattered all over the linoleum tiles of the kitchen.

“Y/N?” Dazai’s voice sounded from the living room. The bile rose in your throat as your heart raced. You immediately dropped to the floor, using your hands to try to sweep the shards into a pile. You didn’t seem to notice the tiny slivers that imbedded themselves into your palms and fingertips, or the blood that was dripping onto the floor from one of the pieces slicing your hand. “Y/N!” His voice was closer now, and you jumped at the sound of it.

“I-I’m cleaning it, I’m sorry, it was an accident, I didn’t mean to...” He reached out his hand to help you up and you cowered away from his touch. “Please, I’m sorry!” You whimpered, dropping your head and bracing for the hit.

“...y/n....” Your name came out as a whisper as he kneeled down next to you. He grabbed your hand to inspect where the bleeding was coming from. “Come on, we’ll worry about this later, you’re hurt.” He gently pulled you off the floor to your feet. He couldn’t understand the fear in your face, why were you so scared? It’s not like he’s mad about it, why couldn’t you see that?

“I really didn’t mean it. Please don’t be mad at me, Dazai.” You whispered as he walked you into the bathroom and sat you down on the edge of the tub. He fumbled in the medicine cabinet, pulling out his bandages, tweezers, and a bottle of hydrogen peroxide.

“Accidents happen, sweetheart. I’m not mad at all. I’m worried about your hand, now please, hold it out for me, let me see.” His touch was feather light as he grabbed your wrist, holding your hand out so he could examine the cuts. “I’m gonna have to pull the shards out. I’m sorry.” He poured the peroxide over your palm first and you winced as it started bubbling around the wounds.

After he finished cleaning up your hand and wrapping the bandages around your palm he went into the kitchen to clean up the glass. You followed behind him, watching his face, trying to find any hint of agitation or anger about what had just happened, but there was nothing. He was wearing his normal smile as he swept the glass into the dustpan.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking up from the floor at your worried face.

“You’re.... not mad? Really?” You asked, wrapping your arms around yourself protectively.

“Why would I be mad? Things break, it’s not like you meant it.” He got up off the floor to dump the shards into the trash can. “Why do you look so scared?” He questioned and your breath caught in your throat. He didn’t know about your past relationship, it was in the past, but it still had its lasting affects on you. You shook your head quickly, you didn’t want to bring it up, you knew how Dazai could get. “Are you... scared of me?” He asked, noticing the way you backed away from him when he walked closer.

“N-no... I just....” How would you even be able to make up an excuse? You couldn’t, and you sighed. He didn’t move any closer to you, so you closed the distance and wrapped your arms around his torso. “You wouldn’t hurt me... would you?” Your question shocked him. He couldn’t even imagine why you would think that he would ever hurt you in any way. You were precious to him, he loved you. He could never...

He didn’t prod for information, but he did ask if you were okay, reminding you constantly that he would never cause you any harm. You could tell that what had happened earlier in the day was bugging him, way more than he wanted you to know. He was honestly worried that he had at some point during your relationship given you the wrong impression, that you actually thought he was capable of acting violently against you. He was beating himself up over it, and you couldn’t let him continue to worry, so you sat him down and finally told him about your previous relationship.

To say it was hard to talk about it was an understatement. Phantom stings and aches were felt all over your body as you talked about the beatings you would endure whenever your boyfriend would come home and lash out.

It was the first time you saw Dazai cry, he was crying for you, but even through the tears you could see the anger that he was trying to suppress. He didn’t want you to see him angry, he didn’t want you to be scared of him. He held it in as best he could, clenching his fists and keeping them firmly placed on his lap.

“There was a time, it was so bad... I honestly thought... I thought that I would die.... I wished I did.” You mumbled, remembering vividly the violent beating when your ex came home drunk. He had gambled all his money away and he took out his anger on you.

Dazai felt like he was going to throw up, hearing about the hell that you went through. Hearing you say that you wished that you died, it only made it harder for him to hide his anger. He was going to find the piece of shit that hurt you, he would make him wish that he was dead, and he would grant that wish.

But first, he would hold you, he would hold you close. He wanted you to know that you were safe with him, that he would never do anything like that, he couldn’t even imagine doing that to you. He wiped away the tears that clung to your cheeks, brushing his fingers through your hair as he whispered “I love you”s. His touch was lighter than a feather, rubbing circles into your back.

He was gentler with you now, he would always sneak up on you in the past to wrap his arms around you, but now that he knew what you went through he didn’t want to scare you at all, so he would stand in front of you with his arms out waiting for you to hug him. When you would lay in bed with him at night he would wrap his arms around you, holding you tight against his chest. He knew that you always felt safer in his arms, and he would hold you there as long as he possibly could, even when his arms fell asleep.

Honestly, he just loved you so much, and he knew that he couldn’t take away the pain that you went through in your past, but he wanted to give you the love that you deserved, and he was doing a damn good job at it.

He also still hasn’t found your ex, but there is a target over his head and he will end him, and he will enjoy every second of torturing the piece of shit.

Chuuya

Chuuya would protect you with everything he had, there was no question about that. You were the most precious thing in his life, he couldn’t even imagine one day without you so he had to make sure you were safe. He loved you entirely, his entire heart was yours, he was devoted to you. That’s why it killed him when you had told him one night about the years of abuse at the hands of your ex boyfriend.

He knew that there was nothing he could do now, the damage was done, but it still made him feel horrible. If he had found you sooner, he could have saved you from the relationship, he could have kept those things from happening to you.

“Was he trying to kill you?” He asked, trying to keep his voice low so you couldn’t hear how pissed he was. If you said yes though, he would probably lose it.

“Well, one time he choked me, and he wouldn’t stop... I blacked out, I passed out. He left me, he didn’t even call for help, he just left me there on the floor. I don’t know what he would have done if I didn’t wake up, he probably would have just hid my body or something.” He felt your body shudder at the thought, but he was shaking for a completely different reason. His blood was boiling, he was absolutely seething with rage. Someone had attempted to take you out of this world, to take you away from him. Sure, you didn’t know him then, but he didn’t even want to think about what his life would be like if he didn’t have you here next to him.

“What was his name?” Chuuya asked, he would make a note of it, and he would absolutely destroy the guy who did that to you. Chuuya would make Hell seem like a five star vacation resort after he’s done with him.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine now. I’m with you, I’m happy.” He couldn’t argue with that, he was glad to know that you were as happy with him as he was with you. It still didn’t change the fact that there was somebody still out in the world, still living their life after doing what they did to you, that couldn’t slide, he wouldn’t let it slide, he couldn’t.

His top priority was always to protect you, that didn’t change, he only got more protective. He was like a demon chihuahua, and if anyone got too close to you he would growl at them, pulling you closer against him. He would keep you safe from everything and everyone, he wouldn’t let anything happen to you, he would make sure that you were safe.

Whenever he was angry from work he made sure to calm down before coming home. He didn’t want you to see him angry, he didn’t want you to fear him, that would break his heart to pieces.

He’s way more gentle with you with everything he does. Hugs are softer, kisses are slower, and when he brings his hands up to hold your face while kissing you he makes sure his skin is just barely touching yours.

“Chuuya, I’m not made of glass.” You say as his fingers brush against your skin so lightly you could barely feel it.

“You’re the finest crystal, a precious diamond. You’re worth more to me than any of those though.” He whispers softly, as though if he speaks too loud that even his words could hurt you.

Chuuya has spent late nights at headquarters “working” overtime. He’ll text you constantly to let you know that he’ll be home soon and that you don’t have to wait up for him.

He’s trying to find your ex to teach him a lesson. He needed to be taught, it was the only thing he could do. He will do to your ex what should have been done the first time he ever laid a non-loving finger on you.

Finding your ex was a harder task than he thought since he didn’t want to ask you for his name. He knew you wanted to leave him in the past, you’d question why Chuuya wanted to know and then you’d most likely get scared when you figured out what he was going to do.

When he finally did find him though, he found his address and made an entire blueprint of the interior (with the help of Akutagawa and Rashomon).

He planned the entire break in and how to make your ex’s death seem like an accident. He would torture him so he was as close to death as possible, and then he’d go to the kitchen and turn on the gas of the stove before lighting a match and throwing it into the open window.

When he gets back home to you he sees you watching the news, your hands covering your face as you watch the live footage of your ex boyfriends house ablaze.

“He’s dead?” You murmur and Chuuya notices that you’re crying. He immediately gets worried that he went too far. But when you sigh with relief and smile up to him he smiles back. “Thank you.” You whisper, and he just stands there for a second staring at you.

How you knew it was him, he had no idea... but you thanked him, and that made it all worth it. It was the least he could do for his queen.