#I am going to call you a basic bitch if this is on your favs list because it’s true

[fandomsoda]

Reblog this if you’re fucking tired of Errorink being so popular.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to play around with, but it is overdone, never explored right, results in mischaracterization, and fundamentally way less interesting than a lot of rarepairs.

Low key fuck Errorink for being simultaneously oversaturated and underwhelming.

[legiterallylunar]

i lied i can't pick a favourite. anyway here's my list of yummy harmonies across the entirety of falsettos!!

so i've realised after writing this that i've basically just written down every time there's overlapping voices LMFAOO it's just cos the harmonies are so good UGH. this is about to be the longest post ever under the cut i'm so so sorry

MARCH OF THE FALSETTOS:

- OOOOOOOOOOOOH!! from four jews i actually cant it's so fun

- five JEWS!!!! the last part of four jews in a room bitching UGHH i lovr it

- will you be my valenTIIIIINE!! in a tightknit family/love is blind. self explanatory. i've been saying this for years (approximately a month). it's so good. i literally cant get enough of it. it's so delicious. this harmony satisfies something deep in my soul

- loove is bliiiind when they all join in and build it up (in the proshot it's the exact moment where jason joins it and the camera zooms on him)

- passion DIIIIIIIES -thrill of first love. self explanatory

- loooooooOOOVE! at the end of thrill of first love YUMMM yum it's so good

- whaat a mess this is this family//photographs cant capture our magic i just love it so much

- whizzerrrrrr!! in everyone tells jason to see a psychiatrist. this isn't my fav harmony if i'm completely honest but it's cool anyway

- late for dinner late again late for dinner late again late fr dinner late again late for dinner late late late late!!!!!!!!!

-I MET THIS MAN TODAY

- RICH MARVIN WHICH MARVIN!!!

- the whole why marvin try marvin bit from in this had better come to a stop UGH

-this had better come to an EEEEENNNNNNDDD!!! (both times obvi. it's so yum)

- honourable mention to im breaking down. she ate that up i love her

- why don't i/you feel alright for the rest of your life (the first time jason and mendel do it together and they go respectively up/down on the harmony) UGH it's so yum

- feel allRIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! at the end of jason's therapy UGH it's so good from the end of please come to our house

- i want- i got- i want it ALLLL from a tight knit family reprise I LOVE IT

- actually all of mendel and marvin in that section ITS SOO GOOD

- four men marching but NEVER MINCING!!

- ALONE IN THE NIIIIIGHT!!!!!!! i just am so obsessed with the way this sounds it's so scrumptious

- marching HOOOOOOME!! i love. i eat it up every time

- life's a sham and every move is wrong!!we've examined every move as we move along!! - chess game. it sounds good. not my personal fav and not one that makes me go WOW but solid and nice and i like it

- you are not required to phooone!! (and basically most of trina and mendel in makinh a home i jsut forgot to write each specific bit down)

- making beliieeeeve!!:(( when whizzer joins in making a home UGHH

- could/should he/she looovee meeeeee?:( it sounds so good omg

- HOWEVER sorry i want to say i don't really like the 'makiiing aaa' harmony that trina and mendel have near the end of making a home i'm sorry it's so dissonant and weird maybe it's a symbolism thing but it doesn't sound right

- not a harmony but !! honourable mention to the key change in the games i play

- pseudo-romantic and sick! from marvin hits trina i love that it's so fast

- we had fiiights and games!, marvin called us funnny names! from marvin hits trina it just sounds so nice in my ears

- help us ALLLL!!!! in i never wanted to love you OH MY GOD. i cant get enough of this one

- he's MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE! in i never wanted to love you OMG i love this one so much especially with marvins melody over the top UGHHH it's so good it's so so good

- loooooveeee!!! youuuuuu!!!! - at the end of i never wanted to love you

ok that's it. time for act 2!

FALSETTOLAND:

- literally all of falsettoland i love this song as an intro omg

- give these handsome boys a hand!!

- welcome to falsettolaaaaand

- ooooh the 80s!

- (march march march of the falsettos march of the falsettos -what a world we live in) ooooooooooahhoooo!!! swanky lesbians!!!

- congregate in central park!

- what a world we LIIVE INN!!!

- HOMOSEXUALS!

- welcome to falsettoLAAAAAAAAAAND!

- it's about time! it's about time! it's about timeee!!!

- thiiiis is the yeaaar of jason's bar mitzvah!

- THIS IS THE YEAR OF YHE CHILD WHEN HE SPREADS OUT HIS WINGS (god i love this one so much every single time they do it)

- MYYYY CHIIIIIILD

- we'll have flowrrs galooooreee!!

- tuxeeeedooooos!

- WHAT A DAYYYY TO TEMEMBER

- UGH i love the year of the child bro it's so good YUM .

-YAY THE BASEBALL GAME (can you tell i'm doing this act's harmonies in real time while i watch it LOL)

- WE'RE SITTING! AND WATCHING JASON PLAY BASEBALL!

-we really wish he'd take this more seriously.

-up batting! and batting bad!!!!!

- SLIIIIIDE JASON!! SLIIIIIIIIIIIDE

- we're sitting! and watch the kid as he misses we're watching marvin throw kisses!!!

- boys field boys bat boys this boys that watchinh JASON!!

- my life would be! boring as shit.😔

- please god don't let me make the SAME MISTAKE!

- jason hits! THE BAAAAALLLLLLLL

yippee a day in falsettoland

- honourable mention to NOW I JUST SNOOOOOOORE!!!

- and the obvious EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT

- DOO YOU KNOWWWWW!!!!!

- anything you do is alright!

EVERYTHING WILL FEEL ALRIGHT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!

FEEL ALRIGHT FIR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT

- what you mean you don't want a bar mitzvah???

how do you think we feel about that?????

- rather than humiliate her killing your mother is the merciful thing to do!😨😨

guys actually i cant deal it's what more can i say. someone kill me. i've gone insane. sorry back to harmonies.

- something bad is haaappeninh.!

- spreading spreading spreeeeaaaadddinngggg!!! ROOOUUUNNDDD!!!! from something bad is happening i LOVE charlotte and cordelia

- the backing 'everything will be alright' vocals after whizzer collapses :((((

- WHIZZER HELLOOOOOOO with charlotte and jason UGH stop i cant deal from days like this

- but toDAY you seem to be! on the way! to recovery!!!!!! with everyone from days like this ARGHHH

- as my heart falls out of SIIIIIIIIIIGHT with trina and mendel OMGG stop i cant . from cancelling the bar mitzvah

- i Looooooooove.. youuu.. with marvin and whizzer from unlikely lovers :(((

- iss it a baaad time!? ...... we'll come iiiiiin! with charlotte and cordelia

-and we need something sweeet!!!

-

- FOUR UNLIKELY LOVERS!!!!

- LEEETS PRETEEEEND!! THAAAT NOTHING!! IS AWWFUL:(

- actually i cant list it all. it's just all of unlikely lovers ITS SO CUTE i cant deal im sobbing on the floor.

-LOOOOOOOOOVEEEERRRRRRRS

special honourable mention to you gotta die sometime obvi

- the WINE is very soothing!!!! from jason's bar mitzvah

- everything is lovely..!:(

- i feel more helpless than i have in years...!

- but he looks... like marrvinnnn!!:(

- and godchild to the lesbians from next dooor!!!!!

omg kill me now it's what would i do

- WHAT MOORE CAN I SAY!

-AFTER BEINV SCREWED OUT OF TODAY

- TELL ME WHATS IN STORE

- ONE HOUR ONE HOUR MOREEEEEE

- IF I HAAAD NOT SEEN YOU

- WHO WOULD I FEASSSTT MY EYES ON

- once i was told that good men get better with aaaage.!!:((

guys actually kill me shoot me in the head i cant go on anymore.

i'm done i'm gone i'm dead and buried. send help

anyway that's it hope u agree (or disagree please talk to me i need to discuss). yay falsettos!

[kimbapisnotsushi]

Hi, can I ask your top 5 favorite characters from Haikyuu? Why you love them? And, what are your top 7 favorite moments from the series? Which top 3 fav games are your favorite (between which team)?

Also, why do you love Haikyuu? What made that series special to you?

Yes, I'm so excited after watching the movie. Haikyuu really is one of the best anime/manga series ever....

(Love your headcanon Haikyuu, thanks for sharing them)

aww thanks so much!! i am so so sorry this has taken me a while to get to, but i'm happy to answer!!

to get the last one out of the way first: i've probably mentioned this, like, a million times already, but haikyuu has so much great symbolism and imagery and characters that just make it really fun to dive into and think about!! they all come together to make a beautifully constructed story, which can be very difficult to do when the genre is realistic fiction/sports. and i like that the overall messages and themes are very hopeful and uplifting at the end of the day—it's about connection, it's about dreams, it's about trying again and again. it's about getting back up!!! it's about trusting in the people around you, and being able to trust yourself. it's something i really appreciate and keep close to heart. i love haikyuu for lots of reasons, but this covers the basics of it pretty well!!

now, as for the rest of what you've asked . . .

top 5 characters:

okay i'm going to cheat a little and say that kageyama and hinata are obivously tied for first. i can't help it!! they're the main charas and they do it so so well. the growth that they go through is one of my favorite things about them, as are the relationships they have with each other and the people around them. they're sort of a package deal, really, so i don't think you can blame me for that

in second place i would have to say oikawa!! beautifully flawed and beautifully human and such a great antagonist overall. i think he's the closest we've ever seen to a character almost making a mistake that they would have regretted (ie hitting kageyama), and even despite all that it's not like he truly hates kageyama or wants him to stop marching on his own path. he's also just really funny and pathetic i love him

YAKU!!!! YAKU MORISUKE MY BELOVED. i like him because i find him very relatable and i love what he does for nekoma!!!! he's so badass!!!!!!! everyone loves him everyone thinks he's so cool AND i love his whole thing with shibayama and lev. he's kind and caring but hides it under like five layers of being a bitch bastard if you're someone who annoys him i love him so much oh my god

and on that note kenma!! thinking about who he used to be, who he helped kuroo become . . . the fact that he finds volleyball fun and admits it . . . the fact that he loves it despite how exhausting it is . . . how he loves his friends and team . . . kenma's story was so wonderfully done and i adore it with every bit of my soul. he cares soooooo much!!!!! i adore that about him!!!!

hngngnsdhfsjyuef last one this is so hard . . . but i think i'm going to have to say hoshiumi! the way he wants to prove how he has nothing to prove and wants to leave no room for doubt . . . right off the bat he recognized hinata for what he was worth because they were the same!!! and the way he said he'd wait for hinata!!!!!! i could probably go into so much about how hoshiumi was probably the first to look at hinata and see a true and proper rival because there was no way he couldn't when he knew what it was like!!

top 7 moments:

oooooh boy. okay first off is the first boom jump during the nekoma match, when kageyama calls for an open!!!! i love this for obvious reasons but UGH the fact that it symbolizes kageyama's trust in hinata and is a testament to how far they've both grown . . . how kageyama decided to make it a set for hinata rather than giving up on him . . . how hinata was able to fly to reach it . . . it is soooooo good oh my god

hmm second i would have to say are definitely the parallelism panels (real match vs practice) during the nekoma match!!! the idea that karaneko playing against each other is so familiar and so fun that it feelsl ike home and feels like any other day is so precious to me. truly one of the best moments that show how haikyuu is about connection and love and passion.

"someone even better will come and find you" are you SHITTING me. everything we learned about kageyama and his grandfather broke my heart but that scene especially, followed by hinata's "i'm here!" easily makes into top seven for me oh my god. i get so many emotions thinking about it and it was just so incredibly well done.

when hinata yells "I'M HOME" during the jackals v adlers match!!! and everyone yells 'WELCOME BACK" and kageyama says "took you long enough" GAH i want to cry. baby is home and he's back amd he's here and they're together again!!!!! i just hngngngn UGH

when oikawa shows up at olympics with argentina!!! and he calls it a family reunion!!!! i wanted to cry!!!! i guess it does depend on the translations you've seen but i MUCH prefer it when he calls it that because that really solidifies what haikyuu means!!! and it shows how he's never forgotten where he came from!!!

kenma's "this is painful. this is tiring. i don't want it to end" with the panel of him GETTING BACK UP AND RUNNING TOWARDS THE MATCH??? that meant EVERYTHING to me oh my god.

ughhhhh last moment . . . this is so hard . . . i'm going to cheat and say hinata's collapse during kamomedai because of everything that happens after it!!! takeda on his knees talking to him, kenma's "i came to cheer up a friend", kageyama's "but i wanted to go further with this team" . . . it gave us so many good things and i think is also such a pivotal moment in the story!!! i don't think most people were really truly expecting it (although people have def picked up on its foreshadowing before) and it makes you think that really anything can happen during a match i'm adding a bonus to this: that moment during the all-stars match when oikawa asks ushijima what he thinks of oikawa's "petty pride" now, and ushijima tells him "i think it's fantastic". LIKE HOLY FUCK WE HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE!!!!!!!!

top 3 matches:

okay this probably goes without saying but karaneko at nationals!!! that was everything to me!!! that was what we were all waiting for!!!! i know there are those who don't like it because of how it ended but imo it's very fitting for someone like kenma and it really does, once again, give off the sense that anything can happen in a match and can make you win or lose—it's what furudate's been trying to tell us this whole time, even if some read it as a cop-out.

inarizaki match definitely. it was really really good not just for introducing inarizaki and their stories but also the fact that we realize hinata doesn't have to be chained!!!! there are people capable of keeping up with him and there are people who WANT to keep up with him at his level!!!! atsumu was the first determined to do so!!!!!!! (which i could talk about more but like. that's a story for another time)

AGH last one was so hard . . . it was a toss-up between karasuno v seijoh (spring high playoffs), karasuno v shiratorizawa, or jackals v adlers and i'm going to have to say jackals v adlers!! i love the other two but the fact that we got a match fthat shows how far everyone's come and how they're still connected and passionate and full of hopes and dreams is my favorite thing ever. we got some GREAT stories within that match and we got to see so many characters return!!! what more could you ask for, really?? i will say tho that i'm giving honorary mention to nekoma v nohebi i've got such a soft spot for that match LMAO

but that's it!!! thanks for the ask i had fun answering all these. if anyone's ever curious to know more about anything i've mentioned feel free to swing by, and thanks for reading!!

[aza-trash-can]

Hewooo!✨

I am still reading the jjk manga (i am like around chapter 160), but I wanted to ask you who your fav character and what your favorite ability is :]

*deep inhale*

GOJOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The way I saw this man and said "oh, problematic yet sympathetic person with serious trauma and mental issues? lemme make him my blorbo" is unreal

(Tied for second tho is Geto [i can't keep gojo from his bf even in my list of favourites], Yuuta, and Megumi, possibly also Shoko, Nanami, and Maki)

Favourite ability tho? God, idk, they're all really cool. I think Hakari's is by far the funniest and Gojo's is the coolest (I love the mixing of physics and magic systems). Honourable mentions go to Megumi for being able to basically have a pet dog whenever he wants, Todo for how surprisingly broken something called 'Boogie Woogie' is, and Yuji for 'haha get punched twice bitch'

I myself am on chapter 198, but I've had the entire thing spoiled for me (willingly, I need spoilers to get myself invested in something)(and leaks are tonight! I gotta fucking speed through the rest of this cause I want to at least read the last chapter when it officially releases on the site I read on, so I have only a couple weeks left)

[huntershowl]

——— BASICS ! ♡

NICKNAME : raine

PRONOUNS : she/her

ZODIAC SIGN : gemini

TAKEN OR SINGLE : taken!

——— THREE FACTS ! ♡

went to college for game design, with a focus on writing/narrative and 2D art!

i love cooking and baking — currently work as a chef and i arrange a mean charcuterie board :) fav recipe of mine is probably either banana bread or white chocolate lemon scones.

very into tabletop games, but cursed to hate playing over call. in person, i am known to make detailed irl props, animatics, cover songs and shit like that because immersion is my favorite thing to foster in any sort of roleplaying experience!

——— EXPERIENCE ! ♡

too much. too much. tumblr since 2012, but online rp in general forrrrr. 15?? yrs? since i was in third grade and rped with my bff via emails. kjdshfjkshf ive been through the shit. ask me about horror stories and i'll have a fuckin Tale for you (FROM THE LAST FEW MONTHS EVEN. but also earlier. ive seen things. to the extent that i've been actually considering writing an unofficial dissertation on rp from a queer anthropology lens )

——— MUSE PREFERENCE ! ♡

for muses i prefer to write? ALWAYS sad characters. always. if a bitch isnt a little bit sad i lose interest fast. dsjfhkjshdf more specifically, angry femmes, hard-edged bitchy men with hearts of gold. usually has endured some sort of abuse. a bit unlikable, has a long way to go before they're comfortable with vulnerability. occasionally i have an off-type muse pick though (a couple of love-embodiment rays of sunshine, or get.o jj.k for example, but they're still ALWAYS SAD)

for muses i write against? for seph, i prefer characters with some sort of mean streak/bitchiness/hard edge to them. she doesn't do super well with outwardly soft and gentle characters — her muse avoids them and i tend to lose insp fast, even if i love the character ooc.

in a general sense, i'm drawn to characters who are also angsty in some way, but more than that, i'm drawn to conflict. if a dynamic isn't rough in some way, if there's no conflict between them, then it's less my vibe personally! no shade to those who like harmonious/fluffy character relationships of course — i just. yk. my brain likes to cause problems.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT ! ♡

FLUFF : small doses, short threads! i like fluff a lot, but only occasionally

ANGST : honestly like 90% of my content. eve my fluff threads turn sad. i love putting characters through the meat grinder — not only seph either, just say the word and i will HAPPILY inflict my villains on your blorbo! ask any of my writing partners and they will be able to confirm how much angst is on this fuckin blog JKSDKJDSH

SMUT : on discord yes! on dash, i'll ride the line and get a little spicy, but nothing like super explicit. ALTHOUGH this is a wiggly rule — i might try to explore it with trusted partners at some point if i get less shy

PLOT / MEMES : BOTH. plotting is very very helpful for me because i'm a chatterbox and tend to enjoy dynamics where we can also yell about em ooc. also having spicy plot points and conflicts to work towards makes it easier for me to write multiple threads haha <3 but memes are amazing ways to start interacting, as long as i have some sort of direction going in. so both!

tagged by: stoled from @tewwor

tagging: YOU!

[diary-of-a-simp-beta]

Wednesday 22-02-23

Hii diary!! So like OMG, i saw LIREALLY the most adorbes tiktok earlier, totally super cute and stuff. So Kim K was with Mimi, and their kids North & Monroe did a dance video and their moms joined in in like a total twist ending! so fun lol, luv how such boss girls like KK and MC are besties like their kids, total inspo BFF goals! Loved Mimi's leggings and boots combo too, so fetch, need to try see what brands they were!

I know what isn't fetch though. So like, 2 my fav influencers seem to me having major fallout which is super lame :( Brekie Hill is calling Livvy Dunne a bully and a mean bitch, but like Livvy is super amazee, so I think Brekie is being a total bitch and being super catty because she's well jel how popular Livvy is! I know I am but thats cuz i wanna be popular (esp with the boys!!!) but I'm super happy shes done well! She deserves it!

Speaking of cute boys, Harry Styles is holding a tour soon! I wont be able to make it this year, but I need to save upo to go to his next one! He's soooo dreamy and like such a gd singer too! Gonna watch every clip of his tour online I can find for now! I luv this pic of him in PJ's, I'd wear something cute if slept with him too but also super sexy bc its Styles duh!!!

I know it wasn't a tour, but RiRi's performance at the sports thing was amazee! Such a total queen I had to shake my booty to her! AND Oh My Gawd!! She's pregnant!!! Her amd ASAP Rocky are the perf couple, bet this baby will be super cute just like her baby boy! I hope we find his name out one day!! But like her outfit was to die for! Total crimson red she was on fire! But shes so amazee with her fashion choices, like I seriously would never have thought about wearing a cotton canvas flight suit, but she pulled it off so well! That silk jersey catsuit and leather corset just made it to die for! Was custom made for her by Loewe, who I've never heard off, so will totally look them up and see if I can get some fake stuff to feel like RiRi hehe! Also I'm gonna make sure I get like all her albums. Don't worry RiRi, I'll get you your money!

I do need to invest in some makeup though, and take a look at my skin care routine. Gonna watch some tutorial's on the basics and see if I can get some Kylie makeup. Love her brand and shes an icon too! A girl at work always looks on point, I might have to ask her what she uses!

TTYS x

[robitherat]

what’re some mh fanfic recs ? been trying to get back into reading more of em

am I allowed to plug my own AO3?

no but forreal tho, there's so many good ones im just gonna link my favs from my AO3 history (Note that most of these are Jam fics because im a basic little bitch and love my comfort couple okay)

putting a keep reading bc i added a LOT lmao

"Next to You" I think this was one of the, if not the absolute first fic i read for mh back in like. 2017/18? It's a wingfic/ angel and demon AU, and I'll admit its not the absolute most fantastic piece of literature, but it's a classic in my heart so

"One Day" Very Very adorable jam fic, post mh domestic bliss, there's chickens and disgusting amounts of fluff. Read It.

The entire Hotel Hopping series by rebiTV. Still semi-patiently awaiting the next upload because Oh My God. Just the usual hotel shenanigans. Some are funny, some are angsty, and the most recent post to it left us with a cliffhanger that i think killed my soul a little bit in the best way.

"3:27 am" A super well-written fic depicting Jay Going Through it. The whole thing is basically Jay dissociating, so slight warning for that, and it's kind of trippy to read but honestly it's so good dude.

"Lazy Mornings" This one's a Bram fic featuring some fluffy cuddling of unknown origins. Good little light read and one of my all time favorite fanfics ever.

Pretty much anything by jaythewriter, their work is fucking phenomenal and I rlly wish they'd post again honestly but also yknow. stuff happens. I'll just re-read all their works again instead.

"Don't You Hear Me Howling" Another bram one, this time featuring the Masked Boys and how complicated a relationship can be when your partners don't remember you when they wake up. It's super well written and makes me sob every time i read it <3

"Farm Boy" Super soft and sweet fic about Jay kind of remembering his love for farm animals when he and Tim have to stay in a barn for a night. TW for implied animal death (maybe? it's up to interpretation) but I swear it's an honestly really well-written soft fic that makes me feel so many feelings. I also just realized this is another from jaythewriter but yknow what it's so fucking good im keeping it.

"All The World Is Green" Honestly i don't even wanna describe this one you just have to read it. I promise it's worth it.

"CALL IT BLACKSTAR, CALL IT PAINSTAR" OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IF YOU'RE A POLYHORNETS HAND READ THIS IMMEDIATELY HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD

"Never Write Lovesongs On The Ukulele" Collection of vignettes of Tim reminding Jay that he's in love with him. love

"To Cut The Taste" Very Early in the hotel hopping days, basically just an awkward conversation Jay and Tim have about Tim's trip to a gas station

"For The Loneliest Blackout" Super trippy to read, very dream-like. Highschool (?) AU with t4t jam and a whoooooollleeeee lotta metaphors. or just one really long metaphor.

"scenes from a movie" god okay iw was looking for this one for like an hour oh my god. Of all the fics ive read this one honestly sticks with me a lot just because of how fucking cool the writing style is to me. I loveeeee vignettes so much and this is one of the longest vignette fics ive read. it's so so so sos o good please read it it has a happy ending

"Build Your Own Noodles" and "Potato Cakes" Both by the same author, both brim, both adorable pre-canon fluff.

"who took heroin, then sleeping pills, and who lies in an alabama hospital" TW for bug imagery and also mention of spider bites. Listen I have entomophobia and arachnophobia so anything with bugs freaks me the fuck out but this is really well done and honestly just the way that it's handled is so fucking fun to read.

The Lost Time series. theres only two stories and theyre both great. A little funky to read because it's, of course, about jay and tim losing time and forgetting stuff about each other. I think there's some?? implied sexual content??? but it's not explicit and otherwise i don't think there's any necessary warnings

"Patterns of Safety" Basically just Jay and Brian bonding over having OCD. I fucking looveeeeeee Same Brain type fics and also jay and brian both having OCD scratches my brain. No One In This Series is neurotypical

"Starting Over At The End Of The Line" Finally a multichapter fic. I promise I read things other than oneshots i promise. N E ways this is pretty much a polyhornets everyone lives AU featuring Brian's lovely gay aunts. You'll notice I commented on almost every chapter because i Love THis Fic SO Much

"No One's Ever Going To Treat You Right; You're Attracting The Wrong Kind" This one isn't a shipfic actually!!! It's sort of Tim's spiraling reaction to finding out what Jay's been hiding from him and the events that lead up to the meeting in the parking lot. The imagery is sooooo fucking good in this one, it's honestly kind of disconcerting the way it's written just because of how In-his-head Tim is the whole time. it's soooo fucking good it's so good.

"psalm 38:8" OKAY LAST ONE this is a great one to end with. It's pretty much just Jay's introspection on his own standing with religion and also hopeless pining that maybe isn't so hopeless after all.

OKAY THIS IS REALLY LONG NOW LOL I HOPE YOU ENJOY MY PERSONAL LIBRARY OF JAM FICS BC IM INSANE ABT THEM

[noridoorman]

Jake & Leon - Reacting to reader having an irregular heartbeat (arrythmia)

Got the idea from @hex-touchstarved cause I thought it would be so adorable if your SO would lay their head on your chest, chilling and listening to your heartbeat without knowing it's extremely irregular and they just freak out like "BABE, DON'T DIE ON ME-"

Also, I should be continuing my 4000 words Trickster fanfiction but want to spoil my favs here instead, cause THEY DESERVE IT FOR BEING AWESOME!

Jake Park

There's so much that Jake knows. His prestigious school taught all sorts of topics and fed the students with loads of informations that they wouldn't need in the future. The exact measurements of the great Chinese wall, remembering what the organs of flies are called, random historical figuers, and all of Shakespeares plays, etcetera, etcetera. All of those random facts have piled into his brain somewhere in the deepest pits of his conscious where he'll only access those when something reminds him of them. Maybe someone would like to know how breathe from their butt? Or what Shakespeares enemies were called.

But human biology? Throw it all away, Jake cares NOTHING about it. Maybe it was the painful monotone voice of his biology teacher or the fact that the students faces were glued 24/7 on biology books that turned it into Jake's most hated subject. All the information went right in his ears and left immediately before his brain could process those words. The teacher would talk about all sorts of bpring and useless informations. The only thing that stuck to him were topics about the heart, nothing else. And only because you had opened up to him about your arrythmia without going in depth what it does.

On one quiet evening after assaulting each other with love and tickles you two rested on the couch, exhausted to the core. You in particular were embedded in sweat and a red hue on your cheeks making Jake pinch them playfully. Jake was on top of you, nuzzling your nose before resting his head on your chest. Your hands tangled themselves in his hair doing soft strokes with your fingers. He hummed softly and closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep to the soothing beats of your heart. Until...

Thump, Thump... Thump... Thump, Thump, Thump...

His face pales slightly and his eyes rip open. He presses his head closer to your chest, making sure that he isn't imaging it. But when your heart couldn't find a regular beat, he jumped up from your relaxed position making you jump slightly.

"Jake?! What's wrong? Why are you so pale?" You went to caress his cheek before you took your wrist and dragged you off the couch.

"We're going to a doctor. Now" Jake pulled you all the way to the front door and took your coat out of the closet.

"But why?" A smirk slowly etched to your face as you had a feeling you know what he's talking about.

"Why?! I heard your heartbeat, it was stuttering and... It-It didn't beat properly!" Jake felt out of breath, the worry about you dying messed with his most basic functions. It was you who had to hold his face gently and snile that goddamn smile Jake fell in love with.

"Jake, that's normal. For me, at least. I have arrythmia, my heartbeat is going to be irregular" You chuckle gently and wipe the tears that emerged in the corner of his eyes. His hands felt no longer clammy and the need for oxygen made him slowly regain breathing pattern.

"Okay..." He breathes out. "You're okay..."

"Yes, I am! Wanna cuddle some more or eat something together?" You mess little with his hair that stuck to his forehead. He snakes his arms around your waist and smiles.

Leon S Kennedy

(I haven't finished RE2 yet because the zombies are BITCHES. I've got most of my info about him through RE4 and RE6 and hexy's blog dedicated to simp over him)

After the events of Raccoon City, there was nothing that Leon wanted to do more than to finally cuddle his SO. He had dreamed about your touch, how you'd comfort him and always have his back. He is a huge simp for you, no doubt, and you knew damn well that once he's home he wants to be spoiled like a wet puppy. And spoiled like a wet puppy he will be, you have already prepared his favorite meal for the night and a few candles to get the romantic atmosphere going!

The three knocks on the wodden door knocked you out of your thhoughts as you rushed over there and ripped it open, revealing Leon S Kennedy himself! His eyes sparkle at the sight of you, his arms almost open subconsciously for a hug. You eushed in the embrace and planted a kiss on his lips.

"Welcome back! I missed you so much!" You were the one to break from the hug (much to Leon's dismay) and pulled him inside to show him the neatly decorated living room. His smile widened when the delicious smell tickled his nose.

"You did this all for me?" He walks towards the table and inspects it all, not finding a single flaw in your decoration. He shuddered at the thought that you might have intruded into his mind and pulled out everything that Leon liked and/or wanted.

"Of course! I wanted to spoil you a little since you were gone for such a long while. I hope you like it" Your gaze fall to the ground but your smile never left your face. You heard Leon chuckling before you were picked up and dropped on the couch.

"Like it? I love it! And I love you" Leon left kisses on random parts of your face between every word of the "I love you" making sure you know just how much he loved you. He dropped his head for a few seconds on your chest, listening to your heartbeat until he moved his head up just to drop it slowly again on your chest.

Zombies that are trying to kill him? He can bear that. But what he cannot bear? Hearing his beloved have an irregular heartbeat.

"Quick, get up" Leon helps you off the couch while you tilt your head to the side. You tried to hold on his shoulders which have tensed up, his face no longer holding that soft smile and the sparkles all erased from his eyes.

"Wha-?"

"Your heartbeat, it's irregular! We have to go to a doctor now-" You clasp your hands on his soft ones and kissed gently his knuckles.

"Honey..." You chuckle which made Leon tilt his head in confusion. "I already told you! I have arrythmia"

"Arryth- What?" Leon's shoulder dropped when your hands moved up there, massaging them.

"Arrythmia. It causes slower, faster or irregular heartbeats in others. In my case, it's irregular" Your giggle increased the more did the realization settle in his expression. "Wanna eat now and then cuddle later?"

"Yeahy that sounds like a good idea. The shock made me a little hungry" He chuckles breathlessly and rests his head on your shoulder.

[wildflowertips]

Hi! I was curious if you had anymore Kuroko fic recommendations? Thank you! 🥺💗

hey! 🥺 i do have more kuroko fanfic recs. i didnt know what type of kuroko ship you wanted, so here are a few from some kuroko ships <3:

Kagakuro Recommendations

the flower that blooms in adversity by aotetsu

When Kagami falls for Kuroko Tetsuya, a famous prostitute from the red light district, he manages to find a whole lot of trouble and a person worth it all.

this fic deserves more love and attention. kagami love for kuroko absolutely made me sob

Brothers in Woo by buttwade

in which Himuro jokingly offers to help Kagami win Kuroko over and the joke's on him

kagami is drunk & himuro cracks jokes. this fic is funny. jealous!kuroko

Beastly call by TCon

"You mean," Kuroko started. "You'd be my Heat Partner?" He didn't expect Kagami to explode into a myriad of different shades of red more impressive than his own hair. "Y — yeah tha's what I'm sayin'!" for some reasons he lapsed into english with an odd accent. KagaKuro Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics & Sex Pistols AU - Fusion

Lots of smut in the beginning. there’s crime, suspense, and i read this fic like 5 times.

Stamina Training by tnsxbunny

As the weakest member in the team, Kuroko stays back after basketball practice to train on his stamina. Kagami watches from afar and decides to show Kuroko what real stamina training is.

SMUT. SUCH GOOD SMUT. thank u

The advantage of being Kuroko by heartfilledteddybear

mayuzumi hits on Kuroko & Kagami gets jealous 🥵

Akakuro Recommendations

Forget me not flowers in our hair by miniaturepsycho

When Kagami is captured by a beast Kuroko doesn't think twice and bargains to take the red head's position instead but it seems that there is more to this castle than meets the eye, and what has it have to do with forget me not's?? Basically a beauty and the beast AU that I decided to do after seeing the live action (which I totally did not cry at, not at all!!) COMPLETE

Contains Aokaga. Akashi as beast & kuroko as belle. So good 🥺

All I ask by TsuruKuni

"It's none of your business." "Tell me, Aomine. How can it be none of my business when you're throwing away the only person I've ever wanted?"

THIS FIC MADE ME SOB AT 3 AM. I highly recommend listening to ‘All I ask’ by Adele. I promise you will cry. Aokuro & Akakuro.

Bridezilla by DancingMarshmallows

Weddings are stressful... try helping people plan them. With two months to get everything together, a bridezilla and her bitch of a maid of honor, and finding love at the worst time, Kuroko would be lucky if he makes it out alive.

CEO!Akashi & WEDDING PLANNER!kuroko. you will not regret reading this one.

That Ridiculously Long Dance by Harmonia_Silverberg

Aomine, Kise, and Kagami never learn, do they? But apparently their "joke" works in Akashi and Kuroko's favor this time.

literally one of my all time favorite akakuro fanfic

What Would Chihiro Do by anewtinystory

Akashi is dating Kuroko, whose two brothers are very protective of him.[Based on a Tumblr anon's prompt: Nijimura and Mayuzumi are Kuroko's brothers; while Nijimura approves of Akashi, Mayuzumi feels the opposite]

slight smut. protective bros. i love it sm.

Aokuro Recommendations

Traded Mistakes by Acetate, Chrystie, exuberant_imperfection, kate882, luckypen

For the prompt: Aomine having an accident and losing his memory so all he remembers is being best friends with Tetsu and he doesn’t understand how that could stop.

Angst, oh the angst 😫😭.

Third time’s a charm (or maybe fourth) by LajtHane

Aomine really didn't mean to crash into him at Quidditch practice.

HOGWARTS AU. if that doesn’t temp you, idk what will. My fav Aokuro fic.

Maybe a touch of your hand by skinandbones

[Written for AoKuroWeek 2015]: Aomine moves into a new apartment and befriends a ghost boy.

no bc this fic made me cry too. pls read it 🎶ifwehad5moreminutes🎶

The Boyfriend Jersey by exuberant_imperfection, kate882

Kuroko, in a half-asleep mistake, ends up wearing Aomine's jersey to school.

THIS FIC IS CUTE SUCH DORKS

Hey, Come Here Often? by imabignerd

In which Momoi holds his magazines hostage, Aomine hates everything and everyone, and Kuroko is politely bewildered.

Aomine crushes on the lifeguard!Kuroko & Momoi is a little shit about it 😌🤍

Midokuro Recommendations

It’s Always your Fault! by warsandwich

Kuroko and Midorima are secretly dating, but Takao finds out their secret. De-anon from the anon meme.

Short, sweet, & funny 😌.

Partnership by Fayah

Their partnership starts in English class, but like everything else in their lives, turns into a matter of basketball.

Midorima really cares for Kuroko 🥺

Midokuro Ficlet by pandacchii

based off of imagineyourotp blog post: "Imagine your otp confessing while they were half asleep" Pairing: Midorima/Kuroko

short story but it’s really cute ☺️

An Unexpected Alignment by cinnaelle

Midorima Shintarou does not expect such a reoccurring encounter. But the wheels of fate are turning and Akashi moves his shogi piece.

well-written i love it sm. deserves more praise

The Way You Come Undone by oshare_banchou

"Midorima Shintarou is completely silent during sex. And Kuroko, who is both fascinated and frustrated by this discovery, wonders just how much it would take to make him come undone." - Kuroko/Midorima, in that order

do i need to say more? 😫

Kikuro Recommendations

Careless Whisper by DarkWoods

When Kuroko is dared to come up with some dirty talk, no one expects him to be good at it. Certainly not Kise.

my favorite kikuro fanfic. flustered!kise & tease!kuroko

如果的事 (If) by stormterror

People fall in love in many different manners. Love feels like many different things to many people, but Kise Ryouta thinks there's nothing that quite beats the feeling of being in love with Kuroko Tetsuya. [kise/kuroko]

SO GOOD I CRIED I SMILED SO HARD. pls kikuro deserves the world

Wires, Connecting by Bakagami

It's like being blind but not, like touching air, grasping at straws, voices dissipating and reverberating.

This story is locked so you need to login into ao3 to read it. PHONE SEX & DIRTY TALK 🥵

He Promised by imabignerd

Kise promised he'd smile for Kuroko the whole way through, all the way to the end.

Zombie apocalypse AU. Death. sobbing violently.

It’s a Small World by SilentSilhouette

Kise tries to find his soulmate through social media. Soulmate AU where a picture of your soulmate is tweeted to you on your sixteenth birthday.

This one made me crackle & laugh😂😂

Murakuro Recommendations

No Such Thing as Too Much Vanilla by plumtrees

Kuroko and Murasakibara have baking days. What do you mean it isn't canon?

baking!boyfriends & fluff 😌😉

Vanilla Cream by yoimrei

Murasakibara eats Kurokos ass after something Ahomine says which sparks his jealousy.

here me out first, the ass eating in this is *chef’s kiss* 🤌🏽🤌🏽

Philia by DarkWoods

That time Murasakibara and Kuroko started kinda-sorta fake dating, and kinda-sorta never bothered to break up.

Still going & i love this writer sm. i read all their stories 😙✌🏽

Lavender Secrets by SailorHikarinoMu

Kuroko was the one to bring out his true love for basketball, which had been hidden from prying eyes since the beginning. It was one of those things he was unsure whether he should feel grateful for, but all the same, it did mean something. What this 'something' was, exactly? Murasakibara did not know. Not yet.

FLUFF AAA FLUFF

Rainy by overdose

Kuroko listened to the rain pouring, and more importantly, Murasakibara's steady breathing.

smut. couch sex. size difference. 🥴

BONUS

Hanamiya Makoto/Kuroko Tetsuya

Scotomas by Darkenedcrystal

After the game against Jabberwock, Kagami goes overseas and Kuroko finds himself without a light. A slightly angsty, rather light-hearted story about what happens to Kuroko after Kagami leaves. Features teens finding their way around life, Seirin without a light, the Generation of Miracles being a family, the teens finding love and appreciating the heartbreaks. Kuroko tries to find his own style without a light, and stumbles into the darkness that is Hanamiya Makoto instead. Extra chapter added!

love this fic so much. downside: akashi is kinda a dick

Of Unlikely Friendships, Sneaky Bets, Shogi and Sake by itsthechocopuff

Imayoshi had introduced his two favourite kouhai to each other as an experiment. He did not predict they'd get along so well, both being shadows, but they did, and they worked, oddly enough. Hanamiya brought out the worst in Kuroko, while Kuroko brought out the the best in the other; and they both caused heartattacks to unsuspecting teammates who could not believe their darling shadow was not as innocent as he seemed.

you wont regret reading this one omg

Haizaki Shougo/Kuroko Tetsuya

A Taste That Lingers by therealmoyashi

I couldn't say anything, and that was alright because he didn't want an answer. I'll never forget the way that tasted. Yeah, I thought, he ruined me.

i cried reading this for the first time. out of character kuroko

By the Tomatoes by Wayfarer_Rye

It starts with a blue-grey t-shirt that says "Nothing but Net".

Haizaki wants to try again.

[mviswidow]

you have terrible luck

Jane Banner x Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: language, someone was murdered and all that so blood, death, etc., anxiety

Prompt: heyyy! just wanted to say that i lOve the thérèse fic you did, absolute *chef’s kiss* 🤌🏼 i was wondering if you could do a jane banner one?where y/n assists on an investigation but jane and y/n have this rivalry but also sexual tension and like the reader asks jane out a few times, and in the end jane accepts. sUm like that ya know, if you don’t mind. wind river is one of my fav films and jane is just bae

A/N: ur so sweet omg, i’m glad you liked the thérèse fic, i honestly thought no one would end up seeing it bc there’s so little thérèse content on tumblr. i hope you like this one and tyg for sending me requests for other lizzie characters :)) i love writing for them <3 i got SUPER carried away w this one.. oops? i had half the mind to make this angsty at the end but i decided against it.

“Janieee,” You called, seeing the blonde not too far away.

She turned around and rolled her eyes with a smile, “I told you not to call me that.”

You shrugged and gave her a hug to greet her, “I can’t always listen to everything you say.”

Jane chuckled at that and crossed her arms, “Didn’t think it could take you any longer to get here.”

“Well I wasn’t exactly in the state, so,” You said, squeezing your hands together as the wind picked up and you got cold, “Wasn’t the last investigation you were on in the cold, too?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” She sighed, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her jacket before looking at you for a couple of seconds, “I don’t know why they keep putting us together.”

“Oh hush, you love when we get assigned to the same investigation,” You smirked, watching her huff and start leading the way to the body. 

A few hours later, the two of you made it to lunch in a quiet diner, “Where are we staying this time?” You asked as you shrugged your coat off and put it on the back of her chair.

“We?” she said with a raised brow.

You rolled your eyes, “You know we always get put in the same hotel room for these kinds of investigations. What would you have me do, sleep outside your door?”

“Would be nice,” she said sarcastically and sat down across from you, taking off the beanie she’d been wearing and smoothing her hair back.

You hummed, “Right, I forget you aren’t used to having attractive women in your bed.”

“For christ’s sake,” Jane groaned. “Can we work together once without you doing that?”

“When you finally go out with me, sure,” You smiled.

“We’re staying at a motel nearby,” she mumbled, looking down at her menu. “Now will you stop bothering me and figure out what you’re going to eat? We don’t have all day.”

——

“Has anybody been able to identify the body yet?” Jane asked you as she walked up after she got finished with a coffee run.

“Yes, uh- Mack Byrd, he was like 24, lived with a roommate, Bradley Collins. They have a cute dog, too.”

“You got all that while I was getting coffee?” She asked with a raised brow.

“Yep, You said, popping your ‘p’ and taking the coffee she was handing you. “I got their address too, one of the officers is friends with Bradley.” 

“Good,” She gave a small nod and your heart fluttered at the praise she so rarely gave. “You haven’t spoken to the roommate, though?”

“I’m not that good, Janie,” You teased, and she rolled her eyes at the name, humming in acknowledgment before walking away.

You stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds and before you were about to start wandering, but she turned around and called out to you, “What are you doing? Let’s go.”

By the time you caught up to her, she was already in the car, “You always get to drive.” You whined as you got in and closed the door.

Jane sighed and looked at you with her eyebrow quirked, “Are you serious?”

“..Yes?”

She turned the engine on and started backing out of her parking spot, “If you aren’t annoying you can drive us to the motel.”

“Since when do we negotiate for who drives?” You scoffed getting your phone out of your pocket to connect it to the aux cord to put on music and the directions to the house. You were glad that the one thing you and Jane didn’t argue about was the music you listened to.

“Since I figured out I’d benefit from it.”

You huffed, crossing your arms and taking your coat off before putting your seatbelt on.

Some minutes later of silence between the two of you, you spoke up, “Why are you always like this?”

“God,” she muttered. “Why am I like what, Y/n?” Jane asked, sounding irritated.

You frowned and turned up the music as you leaned against the window, away from her, but she turned it back down, “like what?” she repeated.

“Do you seriously not like me or are you just mean to everyone? I thought it was cute at first but now it’s like all you do is tell me to fuck off or that I’m annoying you.”

“Oh,” she sighed again. “Well, I’m not mean to everyone, I-”

Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by her phone going off, and you looked over to see your boss’ name on the screen.

She picked it up and spent the rest of the short car ride talking to him, and when you got to the house you opened the car door and got out quickly, not bothering to put on your coat until you were outside and the door was shut.

The rest of the day was really awkward. Usually, you bantered with her and it would make her laugh until she got bored of it, but you didn’t feel like talking to her so you tried your best to just talk to Bradley and ignore the way Jane’s eyes burned holes into your head.

When you’d gotten some information and it was time to leave, you said goodbye, offered your condolences, and went outside, leaving her to be walked out by the man. You made it to the car and stood by the passenger side, not wanting to have whatever stupid and awkward conversation she would try to have.

She seemed to get it because she just went around the car and unlocked it as she got to her side. You sat facing away from her the whole time. Was it childish? Yeah, maybe.

——

Jane let you shower first, and once she got in the bathroom for her turn, you made yourself tea in the little kitchen before leaving the room with a blanket around your shoulders to sit outside the doorstep in front of the balcony railing and watch cars pass every once in a while.

You enjoyed the sound of the cars passing and the wind blowing gently as you tried to ignore the uneasy feeling in your stomach. You didn’t want to fight with Jane. You teased each other a lot but it never got this serious.

Though you didn’t like to let yourself think about it very often, you liked Jane a lot. You had since the day you met her. There was a whole lot of sexual tension between the two of you, she knew it and so did you. The bickering was hot, the way she occasionally stared at you was hot, hell even the way she dismissed you after you said something stupid was hot. She didn’t seem like the type to date a coworker, though Maybe sleep with one, but your feelings would get complicated and then it would make things weird between the two of you.

Your sulking was interrupted when the door behind you was opened. You looked over your shoulder to see Jane in sweats letting out a breath of relief. You sighed and turned back to look at the street again while Jane hesitantly sat beside you.

Upon glancing at her, you realized you’d never really seen her looking this nervous before. You felt her looking at you for a few seconds before she cleared her throat and you looked over at her.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Okay,” You nodded hesitantly, waiting for her to say something else.

“I don’t dislike you, at all- it’s really the opposite. I think you’re really sweet and funny and you’re great company. I don’t think you’re annoying either-”

Your brow furrowed, “So now you can say you don’t think I’m annoying after you’ve hurt my feelings, but you complain about me all the time, so that means basically nothing.”

She nodded, “I know, and really, I am sorry. I have a habit of getting weird and kind of defensive around the people who I- well, like... I’m not good at showing people that I like them- their company. I’m trying to work on it. I don’t mean to be difficult and I don’t want this to fuck things us between because as much as we bicker and tease each other, I do like to think that we’re kind of friends.”

You hummed in acknowledgement, playing with your blanket for a few seconds, “You’re not as much of a bitch as I thought.”

Jane hit your arm playfully as you giggled, “Dick.”

“Hey, I thought the apology meant you were going to be nice to me from now on.”

“Nicer,” She chuckled. 

You turned towards her a bit, and pulled your legs up to your chest to rest your head on your knees, “But thank you for apologizing. I appreciate it.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Jane frowned a bit as she turned towards you a little, matching the way you were sitting.

“I know,” you nodded. “But since it seems to be vulnerability night.. does it bother you that I ask you out all the time? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“No,” She blushed as she shook her head. “It’s cute.”

“So you will go out with me then?”

“We’ll just have to see,” Jane hummed, making you laugh. “But you’re not mad at me anymore?”

“Not really. You’re pretty good company too,” You smiled, watching the way her hands were wrapped around herself, rubbing her arms. “Are you cold yet?”

“A little,” her nose scrunched and she let go of herself, flexing her fingers.

You sighed softly and got off the ground, “Let’s go inside.”

The rest of your night was spent well. You and Jane talked more than usual, and the conversations were more normal, with less teasing between the two of you. You shared a bed, which wasn’t new. 

You said goodnight to each other, you turned towards the edge of the bed, and after a short minute, you felt Jane moving around. She stopped when she was right behind you. Her forearm was against your back and you could feel her hair against your neck. 

Your demeanor towards each other over the next few days was calmer than usual. The teasing continued, of course, but it was more flirty and playful. You continued investigating after the medical examiner marked the case as a murder.

The nights were more than nice. Once you guys entered the motel every night, things felt very domestic. You’d fallen into a little routine to get ready for bed, one night you watched the Great British Baking Show together because apparently she loved it. 

After the first night, Jane started sleeping closer to you, and you stopped turning towards the edge of the bed. She seemed to seek out your touch.

On what neither of you knew would be your last night in the motel, you asked her about it.

“Are you okay?” You said quietly after she’d reached out for your arm.

“Is this not.. if you aren’t okay with it I can stop-”

“No, no- it’s nice. I’m just asking.”

You couldn’t see her since it was dark, but you heard her sigh and you felt her hand squeeze around your arm the tiniest bit, “I just get really anxious during the day because of like- I don’t know. Just- the last investigation I was on was kind of scary. I know this is our job but it doesn’t make it any better. Being around you helps, I think.”

“C’mere,” You sighed softly, turning to face her and holding your arms out.

“Are you sure?” She asked hesitantly.

“Mhm, get over here.”

Jane shuffled forwards and let out a breath when you pulled her closer and she tucked her head underneath your chin. She wrapped her arm around your waist, holding tightly, and you draped your arm over her to rub her back until she fell asleep.

——

“You have shit luck, Jane,” You huffed, because this was Jane’s second investigation in a row that has involved a shoot-out.

“Shut up, Y/n,” She hissed, breathing heavily as she pressed her back against the wall, getting ready to turn the corridor when she heard voices coming from far away.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” You said, breathlessly before putting your hand on your arm. “Stay here, I’ll go.”

She looked conflicted, and her eyes flicked between yours before she grabbed you by the back of your neck and pulled you forward, kissing you eagerly for a few seconds.

When she pulled away you gave her a cheeky smile before turning the corner.

——

“Will you go on a date with me now?” You asked after Jane ended the call with your boss.

She bit her lip and smiled before nodding, “Yeah, yes. I really want to go on a date with you.”

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

[snowboiwinwin]

The Boyz as my University Professors

Disclaimer: Some of my professors are evil bitches; none of the boys are truly evil and I am in no way implying they are or trying to make them look bad! I love the boys and I just thought it would be a fun thing to post :D

-------------------------------

Sangyeon: 

the one professor that absolutely loves the topic of his class

super wholesome and smiley throughout the 90 minutes class time

getting super close to the camera (actually to the mic) because he is worried students won’t hear him well enough

always asking questions and encouraging students to interact

not offended when something isn’t clear and therefore students don’t know the answer

reading EVERY. SINGLE. MESSAGE written in the chat (sometimes students have mic problems or don’t wanna speak)

making everyone feel valid and appreciated

being super calm and relaxed

barely doing breakout-rooms cause he knows no one likes them

ending class always a little earlier cause “I know how stressful your life can get.”

just the cutest prof out there

Jacob: 

another sweet guy

never holds class at its normal timeframe

just uploads all the files students will need (although attendance is supposed to be mandatory)

“you guys are all grown-ups, I trust you to decide yourself when it is the best time for YOU to study.”

constantly uses smileys and is therefore super popular with students

doesn’t teach many classes, cause which good prof does that? ugh

gets right back at students when they email him their concerns

and no, you don’t get half-assed answers

you get a very detailed answer, which is rare in university life

THANKS STUDENTS FOR SENDING HIM THEIR HOMEWORK!!!!

“Dear [name of stundet], thank you very much! 😊”

offers students to call him by his first name

“I’ll call you by your first name too if that’s okay... creates a more comfortable atmosphere!”

the best <3

Younghoon:

he is a savage professor

his look is hella scary and students fear taking his classes

but he is actually the coolest and most laid back dude ever

the first time class is held, he comes in, stone cold expression and literally throws his bag on the desk - everyone is hella scared

then he says, in the scariest voice ever, “We can have fun here in class, no problem, but i AM YOUR PROFESSOR. NOT YOUR FRIEND. Remember that.”

*everyone scared to death*

“Welcome to class everybody! My name is Mr. Kim and I am very looking forward to teach this class in our summer term! Feel free to ask any question that might come up and don’t hesitate to reach out to me whenever!”

no need to be scared, he is a sweetheart

strict and has high expectations, but won’t overdo it with homework or assignments

constantly jokes around but then switches back to being serious

he creates a nice atmosphere where students want to learn something and do it voluntarily 

cares for his students and appreciates their hard work - especially during the pandemic

“I know this is not easy for any of us but I am so amazed by your guys’ work this semester. It was an absolute pleasure teaching you. I hope to see you guys again, but not in this class. Please don’t fail.”

I love him

Hyunjae:

omg, he is an absolute legend

class starts and he is doing his introduction part

the class i about british literature 

“Welcome to this literature class, you are in for a long ride!”

so far so good right?

“Let me just say, British Literature is an ABSOLUTE shit show!”

when I tell you, I almost died hearing that (no offense to anyone, pls don’t take my profs words to heart... he lives for british literature 🥺)

he definitely has his students hooked with this one sentence

“the teacher that taught this class before me... what was he even talking about! I mean, british literature is so much more than what he made it out to be!”

basically starts ranting  

teaches with so much passion

can’t forget the jokes here and there

also uses smileys which students seriously love (at least I do)

wants students to be informal with him as well

“moving on to this next topic... a little disclaimer before we start: I will go batshit crazy with this topic because I LOVE IT. So please tell me to shut up when I exceed the 10 minutes mark. Thank you!”

A savage legend that everyone loves

sadly only teaches a handful of classes as well

Juyeon: 

super laid back and chill

does never check attendance and just trusts his students

usually talks most of the time and doesn’t ask too many questions

is super happy when students contribute though

but he isn’t one to force them

“I know your day has probably been really long, so it’s okay. I’m not taking this personal.”

his class is not based on theory but more on experiences he made

shares funny stories, mistakes he made and what he learnt from them

always gives the smallest and easiest homework ever

“please just share your experiences with these types of situations in our forum”

and he does not want to grade students based on an exam

“I have a better idea. In order to understand a certain topic, I want you to write a portfolio about it. It should be detailed but I won’t give you a number of words. Do what feels right and surprise me! Be creative, nothing will be worth a failing grade as long as you put in some effort.”

does split classrooms

one half is in the main room with him, the others are in breakout rooms, working on a certain topic

super chill and just not as hard as some other classes

but students definitely learn from him!

Kevin:

oh boy, students either gonna hate or love him

he is very kind and nice but he is STRICT

take his class serious and work or you will fail

although he has very high expectations, he will make sure students will be prepared for all the essays, assignments and presentations he throws at at them

no half-assed instructions, you will get the full program (as every student should!)

you have to write an argumentative essay but have no idea how to do that?

Professor Moon (students are allowed to call him Kevin) will explain an argumentativ essay in detail, will show examples and will tell you exactly what to put in it

having trouble finding sources?

Kevin will help you, just let him know!

Also a very empathetic teacher

something happened and you can’t attend class? Absolutely no problem

whenever something serious happens (for us it was a shooting), Kevin will cancel class and spare his students cause their well-being is more important

he doesn’t throw out A’s and B’s easily but when you do get such a grade in one of his classes... dude, you did a really good job

so as I said, he is either your fav or least fav professor... choose your side!

Chanhee:

he is a bitch (not really, but he gives the impression)

at first, he is that nice, bubbly professor

super friendly and kind

and his classes are absolutely okay! no biggie

or so they THOUGHT

his exams and progress tests or whatever ARE HELL

he makes it seem as everything is so easy and not overwhelming at all

BUT nothing is easy and everything is overwhelming

50 pages for a damn progress test two weeks into the semester!

the grading is so strict, you need at least 65% to pass! (maybe I am a baby but 65% is a lot for a passing grade hahaha)

but he confuses students

he is so kind and soft spoken

constantly smiling and in a good mood

but the exams????

are you sure you were the one creating them Mr Choi?

and yes, he is one of those professors that wants to be addressed by his last name (nothing wrong with that)

as I said, he confuses students

they don’t know what to think of him

at the end of the day he isn’t a bad guy

just not the type of professor the students would want in every single class for the rest of their lives

Changmin:

changmin is not your ordinary professor

because he is a big fan of team-teaching

so all his classes are taught by him and his dear colleague Haknyeon!

YAAAAY

I love this duo already

he is the part of the duo that is EXTREMELY motivated

he is is so hyper and so ready for teaching

his classes are always fun but also slightly overwhelming?

juts imagine having too much caffeine in your body

that is changmin being able to teach something he loves

that’s just the passion jumping out of him

he is constantly talking and laughing and throwing jokes left and right

he is having a good time!

super understanding and empathetic

and although everything seems fun and games

you will definitely learn from him!

he has this natural and authentic way of teaching in his body

it comes... naturally and it all makes sense somehow

although the class is packed with inside jokes and changmin teasing haknyeon

haknyeon doesn’t even have time nor the chance to speak

this is changmin’s time to shine!

they love and hate each other

but the students definitely love this iconic duo

Haknyeon:

as I mentioned; haknyeon and changmin are a team

it wasn’t really something haknyeon wanted but... how could you possibly say no to baby changmin? 🥺

so yes, changmin’s cute face got him into this situation

he doesn’t even have to prepare anything for class - his lovely colleague does the talking anyways

he usually lays back and relax

he frowns into the cam cause he tries to intimidate students

but they know he is a soft guy anyways

while changmin is talking, he is chatting to students in the chat

as I mentioned earlier, not everyone wants to unmute themselves and therefore posts in the chat

so he is having chats with students, often not even related to the topic

“Please excuse me, I will be absent for a few minutes - mommy duties” -student

“Don’t worry Miss! I know exactly what you mean... children.” -haknyeon

whenever he tries to get a word in, he has to talk VERY LOUDLY

he literally has to talk over changmin

but changmin doesn’t mind, he just smiles, nods and listens

changmin is super proud whenever haknyeon speaks

and haknyeon thinks that’s very sweet

but that thought passes as soon as changmin makes a joke about him

at the end of the day, they love each other at least to a certain extent and students adore them

Sunwoo:

he is not an ordinary professor either

class time? virtual meetings?

nope, not with sunwoo

again, in the classes the boyz teach, attendance is mandatory 

mandatory? sunwoo has never heard of her

he doesn’t require students to attend meetings and homework is also something he does not expect from them

he uploads powerpoint-presentations with videos and audio of him explaining everything in the presentation

but the boy is clumsy

and he is not good with anything technical

so him dropping his glass and spilling his water all over his lap?

well, students will see this in the video

“... and it’s important to- YAAAAH OH NO....”

*awkward silence*

“I spilled my water... if you haven’t seen.”

*more awkward silence*

“Give me a minute”

*the video continues and sunwoo is nowhere in sight*

after ten minutes of an empty chair, sunwoo returns and continues as if nothing has happened

sometimes his kids walk in and dab in the camera without him noticing

“and then - Hey! I am at WORK.”

he loves it though

and he posts these “fail” videos on purpose

“I want to show you, that it is okay to not be perfect and to not be in control of everything! Stuff like that happens, especially with us being in home-office! And don’t worry, if your mom walks in or whatever, in my classroom no one gets judged! This is life and now that we have to do everything from home, the unexpected is unavoidable!”

Another students’ favorite

Eric:

I would love to imagine him as this savage prof I have in mind... but no <3

he is a sweet guy

also super obsessed with the class he is teaching

he is LIVING for it

usually experiences technical problems right before class starts

“oopsie daisy, sorry guys... might take a few minutes *giggles*”

and no, it’s not a creepy giggle but a really cute one, I swear!

constantly has a pen in his hand and clicks it absentmindedly while teaching

students constantly hear the clicking sound... or when the pen falls to the ground.... which happens every five minutes

he constantly forgets to mute himself whenever he wants students to work by themselves and all they hear is him chugging down his water or whatever drink he has prepared

also sends out super sweet emails

but due to him being a young dude, he wants students to call him by his last name

he also calls students by their last name but he does use smileys to lighten the professional mood that comes with honorifics

overall a very motivated but extremely kind-hearted dude

[incorrectdmp]

DMP SEASON 4 EPISODE 9 OUT OF CONTEXT SPOILERS

okay so like. i’m GENUINELY sorry that i haven’t been updating this blog a lot outside of ooc spoilers. genuinely my sense of time rn is so messed up that i think i’m updating it semi-frequently then realize i only did one round of quotes before a new episode drops lol. didn’t even do anything for last episode my sense of time is just utterly fucked. so sorry hahaha i can’t promise i’ll try to remember things but. i still love this blog i’m just drifting outside of space and time atm

spoilers ahead as normal but honestly this episode was so chill and vibin you could PROBABLY read this update without watching and wouldn’t be majorly spoiled for much. ngl this is one of my fav ooc spoilers because not much super intense happened so i was able to capture most of the shenanigans through memes

-charlie, probably (made by pip for space game. Saved it in advance knowing it was spoilers for this episode lol)

I’m pretty sure tasting the colour pink is just peptol bismol

Charlie has reached a new low 2 episodes after the pizza image, somehow

“Despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage” -thorin

Alex’s nickname on the fanserver sure is real awkward now

Charlie is a weeb. next up, the sky is blue

I mean. If YOU gained god powers don’t tell me you WOULDN’T watch every anime in existence

The biggest tonal dissonance between the art and the music i’ve ever seen

-art by cam

Cant believe zephi is cg’s friend from work

NO TEARS. ONLY YOGA

My therapist: calm voice CG isn’t real he can’t hurt you. Calm voice CG:

Even the void is not immune to capitalism

COMPETITIVE YOGA

GAY PANIC TIME, THE FRIEND FROM WORK HAS ARRIVED

Vinny is phoenix wright 

Junior is denied playing with dogs by virtue of not being in the show. Shame.

Thorin being left alone with zephi, this could only end well. Just look how minerva ended up!

Vinny straight up admits he’s willing to kill a dog

“Ezra, yay or nay about val’s area” 

Miss Charlie steal yo girl

“I fucked your girl shitlips” -charlie, probably

Maybe ONE day the space jam scenario will see the light of day

Welcome to FUCK IT

The local mall cryptid returns at last

Two legends make a triumphant return: junior no last name and the gazebo

Junior nolastname can legally swear

Chuck. 

How dare you make me sad over one piece jokes

Just Starbucks

After months of CG and grace being the best goddamn dynamic in the show despite it being ENTIRELY noncanon they GET TO FUCKING INTERACT IN THE SHOW

Alex’s hyena laugh my beloved

Paul blart flesh mall

Do not investigate the meat

Yugo wasn’t dead, he was just put in gay baby jail for a nap

-cam

ALEX BE DROPPIN HOT BARS THO

Tommathan 

Hailey gets struck by the apollo ball

Yknow. A proposal. As a friend. She put a ring on it. As a friend. 

Tommy and angalena h*ld h*nds

Sometimes ur just so depressed you dont realize ur girlfriend proposed to you in a romantic way

Perhaps, just once, the girls will not be fighting

TACTICAL STEALTH EZRA

“It’s like i’m a WEBSERIES CHARACTER” -hailey looks directly at the camera

DAD TIME

Dads havin a good dad talk. I’m just vibin to this music

“The surrealism of it made me nearly scream”

Daily reminder that percy blackwood punched a kid at sunday school

Things gettin spicy in this mattress store ;)

Val averts thine eyes, at the disappointment of the fans

TOES TIME

Kingdom hearts called, it wants its belts back

Dmp would be instantly solved if junior hadnt been demoted to mall cryptid. Bitch been on screen for like 5 minutes and he’s goin full cinemasins on CG’s ass

Jesus canon to dmp

Junior decided to test god, he fucks around and finds out

CG throwing a temper tantrum and ripping apart his dolls like an angy 5 year old

(bitch), CG edition

THAT’S IT YOU’RE GOING TO SPENCERS

Eternal gazebo time

HOLY SHIT???? People go to malls to SHOP???

oh wow! [eldritch screeching] my favourite pokemon!!!

HAIR SWOOSH GANG

Oh noooooooo my two favs are talking whatever will i dooooooooooo

Yall are really just gonna shove doc’s corpse into a pretzel box huh

Charlie just progresses more and more into being comically small and sad

Rip the mall announcer, lost to the parking lot. We barely knew you

Charlie is a basic bitch, we been knew

Yeahhhh no cg sure as hell aint human. No human being would reasonably wear THAT

[starxscream]

I am newish to your blog, tell me about yours ocs!! Tell me their lore and trivia if you feel? Do they stab as a warning? Would they neglect their least fave AC villager and hit them with a net or think they all little beans who deserve love? Or they don't want anything to do with video games! Tell me about them to your heart's content, I would love to read!

oh god oh fuck i didn’t expect to get this far uh hi JJDHFJDNFJDJC

well. well! well!! i’ll start off with my MAIN OC bc I love him the most and that’s!! Diogo!!

art by @/puppetgenders (thank u ily bby)

i won’t get into TOO MUCH bc he’s the protag of an original story me and my boyfriend are writing, Set Aside the Crown! (technically…all of our ocs r in it rly but yknow sshhh) i need to save some for the story :3! (which u can read what we have out over at @cadenzacity haha shameless plug i’m so sorry)The robot version is his “canon” version and then we have human au for au purposes JFNSJFHDJ (he is not 9ft in human au. i promise.) he is a non op transman also! love that for him, king

BUT UUHH he was created as one of the last couple musical/idol robots that a shut in scientist/engineer had been making for over a few years! After a falling out Diogo left tho and now he’s kind of. vibin. if u can call it that JFNEJVNRJF he’s ‘nice’ outwardly only to keep up appearances but in reality he’s a cold-hearted ass bc he doesn’t like getting close to others and simply views himself as being “above” the rest. Very hard to genuinely get to know. He loves being around people tho bc he thrives on attention just, u won’t ever rly get to know him for him JFNEJFND he’s a smartass who knows how to get what he wants and isn’t afraid to step on people to get it<3 and that’s fame n power babey! There’s a lot to unpack with Diogo but. yknow, spoilers <3 but he’s rly quite lonely in actuality but. throttles him. you have to open up sir. sir please. basically he’s the definition of “he’s a bitch and i love him SO much”

(he does however really love unicorns! no reason for this he just does. and bc he was built to have cat like features he is capable of purring! and has a lot of unconscious habits. catboy. he’s the pretentious asshole that gets the stupidly long order at starbucks. he is not immune to headpats- but good luck reaching up there. if he actually likes you he can actually be somewhat generous, think like a more bitchy rarity LOL kind of an idiot when it comes to his own emotions despite being good at reading other ppl. collects rocks! fucking loves rocks and crystals! has a whole room that he uses to display them!)

as for ur questions, yes he does stab as a warning if he knows he can get away with it, he does neglect his least fav ac villager and will go out of his way to move their home into the far corner and box them in with jail bars so he doesn’t have to look at them, BUUUTTT he’s not rly a video game person so JFNEJFJDND unless someone got it for him he wouldn’t rly think to ever play it. i think he’d like pokemon tho no reason other than i do and i said so

I WAS GONNA TALK ABT MORE OCS BUT IM ALMOST DONE WITH MY SHIFT AT WORK SO AHEEM HEEM i’m sorry akoni. next time king

[ac3id]

View

pairings: Sub! Kaminari Denki x Dom! FemReader

warnings: characters in this story are 18+, crackfic if you squint, sharing of risqué pictures, phone sex, mutual masturbation, porn with a plot basically  dom yn, sub denki

word count: 2.6k

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we hope you  like it!!! 

masterlist

You stretched your arms behind your back. After a long day of paperwork, you were tired. You bent your fingers one by one until they released that satisfying ‘pop’ sound. Relaxing yourself in your chair you reach for your phone. You go through your social media, text a few friends and then your eyes fall onto boyfriend’s contacts.

Kaminari Denki or better know as Chargebolt. The aspiring Pro-Hero who  graduated from U.A and now the 23 year old was on his journey to becoming a memorable hero. But right now, he was on his bed resting. The blonde had been hit by an energy draining quirk which made it impossible to do athletic tasks. He was advised to rest and that’s what he had been doing for the past three days.

                                                 Dankie

You[23:31]:

You[23:31]: hOWS my FAV BOI DOINGGG ???????????????

Dankie[23:31]: >:(

Dankie[23:31]: traitor ass biTCH

You[23:32]: DENKI LMFAO I SAID I WAS SORRY SILHAKD

Dankie[23:32]: u didnt come visit me today:'''(

You[23:32]: yeah,sorry about that:(((if u werent so fucking clumsy i wouldnt be stuck doing extra hours of EXTRA paperwork>:(

Dankie[23:32]: gO GET THAT BAG Y/NNIE BBIE

Dankie[23:32]: n e ways

Dankie[23:32]: ei missed juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Dankie[23:32]:

You[23:32]: didnt kiri visit tho

Dankie[23:33]: he did but :( ur better

You[23:33]: dfjhskjfd ik i am

Dankie[23:33]: playing uno with him isnt that fun cuz that bitch ALWAYS wins , u lose all the time lmfao i leik winning against u

You[23:33]:

You[23:33]: hows your injury tho bb<3

Dankie[23:33]: idk im gonna go to work like day after tommorrow

Dankie[23:34]: n e ways

Dankie[23:34]: how was your day, beautiful

You[23:34]: terrible, old hag keeps piling me up with work.i dont get paid enough to deal with her shit

You[23:34]: i stg gonna murder her one day.

Dankie[23:34]: awwww my poor ynnie here have a picture of your beautiful boyfriend to light up ur day:)

You[23:35]: its 11 in the night denki

Dankie[23:35]: just let me have this one thing please,

Dankie[23:35]: I HAVE A PICTUER SOMEWHERE IN MY GALLERY WAIT lOOK

Dankie[23:35]: admit it,u ken not resist ur beautiful boyfriend

You were about to text out a sarcastic reply, your fingers hovering over the send key when you noticed Denki had sent a disappearing photo.

Dankie[23:35]: [image8166.jpeg]

You press your thumb over the button to view it in full size,

probably one of his dumbass selfies again

you thought to yourself.

“The fuck!?” you almost scream, eyes blown wide at the sight.

Before you knew it you were confronted by the sight of a dick, his hand wrapped around it resting against his abdomen, spurts of cum decorating the head of his cock and onto his flushed body.

It looked so inviting, so hard and sexy waiting to be played with. It turned you on.

You gulped as you took it all in.

In all honesty the sight made your mouth water, your tongue reaching out to wet you lips as your breathing quickened, your core heating with arousal. Your thoughts running wildly as you inspect the picture, fingers trembling ever so slightly as you work your fingers to quickly take a screenshot of the picture

Dankie[23:35]: u still there yn?

Dankie[23:35]: o shit.yn im so SORRY

Dankie[23:36]:SHIT SHIT IM SO SORRY YN I DIDNT MEAN TO MY FINGER SLIPPED FUCKFUCK IM SO SORRY I UNDERSTAND IF YOUR UNCOMFORTABLE

Oh Fuck!

Sucking his lips into his mouth, fear took over his senses as he realized that you were about to receive his nude out of nowhere.

nonononononono nO! This couldn't be happening. No!'

Denki quickly pressed the power off button at least eight times, hoping that would change something, but he knew very well it wouldn't. His entire face flamed with embarrassment.

He opened the chat again just to check if it actually sent. Maybe he still had the chance to delete it. He was met with disappointment, the air surrounding him growing heavier, your prolonged silence was making him freak out even more DAMMIT DENKI !!

Dankie[23:36]: Y/N please say soemthing please,

The dreaded 'typing' box appeared on the bottom of the screen, he mentally prepared himself for rejection. Maybe if you ask about it, he could just pretend he didn’t know what you were talking about. Fuck, how did he manage to fuck up this bad?Just then, the sound of his notification stirred him from his thoughts, indicating a reply from you. He reached for the phone,

You[23:37]: that’s a pretty dick, denki

You[23:37]: mommy would love to play with it.

OH My God. Denki internally screamed. He did not know what he was expecting. Granted you both had started going out just recently, a slip up like that was bound to set you off. He expected you being  reluctant about the situation and brushing it of.

He thought of what he should reply and stared texting. His fingers smashed against the keyboard as butterflies danced in his stomach. He could feel himself get hard.

Dankie[23:37]: you’re making me horny, mommy

You[23:37]: fuck, you’re such a naughty boy

You[23:37]: tell me how badly you want me.

Dankie[23:38]: please, my dick is so hard for you right now. I can’t think straight.

Denki’s heart beat quickens whilst he wait for you to reply. His hand slips down his sweats as he starts palming his cock through the cotton of his sweats.

You[23:38]: you like it when mommy talks to you like this, don’t you babyboy?

Dankie[23:38]: yes i do. please don’t stop

You[23:38]: you think you can send these pictures and not face consequences?

You[23:38]: is this turning you on?

Dankie[23:38]: yes. goddamn.

It was a moment before he responded and when he did, he sent an image. Upon opening it, your throat dries out. You see the outline of his erection through his boxers you gulp again as your eyes feast on the main focus of the picture. It made your pussy throb. You couldn’t stop staring, not even when another loud 'ping' sounded through the room.

Dankie[23:39]: Oh God, please fuck me.

You[23:39]: are you teasing me?

Dankie[23:39]: ...what if I am?

Dankie[23:39]: y/n i want you so bad. are you alone right now?

You[23:39]: yes i am.

You[23:39]: such a little slut, aren’t you?

Dankie[23:39]: yes, only for you

Dankie[23:40]: God, you're good at this.

His fingers were pressing the ‘call’ button before he processed his move, thick arousal mixed with frustration clouded his thoughts. His hand palming himself through his boxers and his leg bouncing up and down in anticipation as his phone rang for you.

Your phone lit up with an incoming call.

“Hey, babyboy,” you spoke as soon as he picked up, teasing him. Your voice sultry and low making Denki gulp. The dirty talk was really getting him going.

“Just hearing my voice has gotten you so bothered, huh?” you smirk, feeling your nipples hardening and poking through the fabric of your work shirt

“I'm so lonely and needy right now-”  He shyly admitted, “I need you so bad.” finding himself blush bashfully for you. Flattered and embarrassed at his blunt confession, but still desperate for you. He could hear your breathing on the other side of the phone, it was quick, excited. You heard him take in a deep breath; you could almost see the pink painting his cheeks.

“You’ve been a naughty boy, sending me pictures like that. Tell me when did you take it? Who were you thinking of when you touched yourself?” you rasp into the phone making him gasp.

God, this was like a dream

“It was for you! Everything, You!” He sounded desperate, clinging to release as his member throbbed harder. Biting down on his lower lip, inching to hear your commanding voice over the static.

“Is that so? Well, I am flattered.” Denki smiled to himself hearing the praise. “But, do you seriously think you should be allowed to cum? After all, you touched yourself like a shameless whore. Not to mention, without my permission?”

Denki’s smile fell as he started mumbling apologizes into the phone. He promised he’d never do anything like that ever again. Please, just let him cum.

“You heard me,” You taunted, “Bad boys don’t deserve mommy’s help.” you say, your voice faking disinterest. “Please.”  he begged pathetically. Trying to convince you to help him out.

“Please help me cum.”

“Really?” You scoff, a teasing smirk appearing on your lips. “You seem to be doing just fine on your own.” apologies come rushing over the phone,  “No, no, please! I’ll be good. I’ll be a good boy! I’ll do anything!” he pants, biting the corner of his lip as his hand hovered over his erect shaft. “P-Please, Mommy!’’

You bit back a whine as you clench your thighs together “Okay,” you start, voice as smooth as silk. “Why don’t you reach down and touch yourself for me? Make yourself feel good,”

Denki relishes as hearing your command. He quickly puts the caller on speaker and places it on the stool next to his bed. His fingers pull his sweats down to his thigh, his boxers soon following. His hard cock rest against his stomach, the tip flushed and angry; pre-cum leaking from the slit. His right hand firmly grasp it while his left reaches for his phone.

He moans your name as he pumps his cock using the pre-cum as lube, he hisses and groans lost in utopia until he hears your voice again. “You don’t get to cum until I tell you to.” you smirk at him failing to stifle his whimpers, clenching his eyes shut as he took a deep, steadying breath before he responding. “Okay, Mommy.” he blushes, submitting himself to you.

Taking the base of his length into his hand, putting the phone closer to his mouth so you could hear his heavy breathing as he traced a finger along the vein decorating his shaft, he moans softly feeling sparks of pleasure erupting throughout his body. Moving his thumb to his drenched tip, vigorously rubbing himself the way you had instructed him to — the action making him crazy, Denki didn't even try to hold back the moans erupting from his mouth as he fucked his hand, wishing it was you.

“You sound so good jerking off to Mommy’s voice.”

“Feels good, huh, babyboy?” you ask. He hums nodding his head. “Feels so damn good.” His hand leaves his dick, coming up to his mouth and spitting on it. Using spit as lube as he began to rub himself, hips bucking against his hand; whimpering your name as his back arches up slightly, the pre-cum and spit making it easier to move his hand quicker moaning and hearing you doing the same. He could hear your breathing get heavier,the anticipation of you masturbating too made his even harder if that were possible.

“There’s a good little slut.” you say with a normal, leveled voice while he struggled on the other side of the phone. You listen to him jerk off, pumping his shaft and moaning out your name. Hearing him pump his cock up and down, you pictured his sitting on his bed, flushed face hand stroking his cock cum oozing out of his slit. Maybe you’ll ask him to lick it up later.

“Are you wet, Mommy?” His voice is soft followed by heavy breathing. “So wet. You have no idea.” your raspy voice filled the empty room.

“I want to taste your pussy, Y/N.” he moaned into the phone. You slip your hand down over your clothed cunt, rubbing against your swollen clit. “Is that so, Denki? Wouldn't you like that? Me sitting on your face? You can eat all you want.”

“God, your pussy sounds so good.” Denki moaned as you adjust the phone closer. “Oh fuck, Denki!" you moan as you sunk down onto your fingers. The scent of sweat and lust lingered through his nose, he scrunched his eyes shut and his head pressed back into his pillow. His mouth was gape open, breathing heavily as he moaned loudly into the phone. “Shit. Mommy." he cursed.

“Mommy, I need your pussy.” you hear him beg, “W-wanna feel it a-around me. Milking my cock s-so good, wanna f-fuck you until you scream,” he speaks between choked moans. You wonder how he’s gotten so bold. “I would fuck your tight pussy so good.” you don’t doubt him at all.

Your fingers rub against your velvety walls, your hips bucking into your hand as you rolled your clit swiftly between your nimble fingers. “I’m gonna fuck you so good once i get my hands on you, babyboy.”

Speeding up his pace, imaging your face Denki let out a growl. Imagining you hovering over his pinned body as you whispered the most dirty words into his ear while pleasuring him. “F-fuck, Y/N.” he whispered, dropping his head back against the pillows as his eyes squeezed shut, his back arching wildly. There was no way he was going to last much longer.

The familiar feeling soon washed over you, your pussy pulsing and clenching around nothing with each delicious rub of your fingers against your clit. Your heart beat fast, your body tingling from the sensation it gave you. Your nether regions throbbing in pleasure. You almost fell, your legs quivering going limp

His stomach was clenching and he knew he was going to cum any second now “Please keep talking. Just a little more, please,” he begged breathlessly, continuing his thrusts for just a little while longer to get over the edge and you did just that.

“I- I’m so close mommy. Can I c-cum?” He bits his lower lip, trying to control his breathing. “Since you've been such a good boy. You can cum, baby.” you said breathlessly.

“Thank you so much, Mommy.”

“I want to hear you while you cum, baby. I want you to feel good, I want to feel good with you.” you choke out.

You wait patiently for his response but it doesn't come. After seconds of silence, you pulls your device away from your ear only to be greeted by the dark screen.

“Oh. He hung up?” you murmur out loud, a bit sad but you decide on not to dwell on it as you slip the phone back into your pocket, figuring his battery might have given up on him. After minutes you hear you phone start buzzing.

Dankie[01:20]: Baby NO. I’M SO SORRY MY PHONE DIED

Dankie[01:20]: Y/N PLEASE SOME BACK I DIDN’T MEAN TOOO

Dankie[01:20]: Y/N PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE COME BAC

You[01:21]: im here!

Dankie[01:21]: i m so sorry my phone died

You[01:22]: did you cum?

Denki feels his cheeks heat up again.

Dankie[01:23]:

A few moments later. A video clip appeared in the chat, you opened it much too quickly.

In the video, Denki had his hand wrapped around his shaft while his other hand was palming over his balls. He pumped himself, “I’m gonna come for you, Mommy.” It appeared he had situated the phone so his entire body was captured by the camera. Your eyes traveled down to his toned body, drinking the sight in. Moan escaped his parted lips, opening his eyes and staring at the camera with playful eyes. His jaw hangs open as he finally releases all he had over his stomach, chanting a string of your name and curses.

“Fuck, I really wish you were here now.” You heard him hiss “Really wish this was your mouth instead of my hand.” he whispered, his agile fingers move swiftly as he collected the white substance and then moving his hand upto his lips. Parting his lips swirling his tongue around his digits, sucking off the creamy substance and moaning louder for you. His eyes darkened with lust and hunger as he swallowed down every last drop, moaning at the taste of his warm cum causing your breath to hitch as much as he let out a series of seductive,soft pants.

“Why don't you come here and ride my cock?”

Your walls tighten around nothing and you immediately got up, your chest heaving as you attempted to catch your breath.

You[01:43]:im coming over. gonna make sure you end up in the hospital for weeks after i'm done with you kaminari denki.

Dankie[01:44]: osiht (｡+･｀ω･´ )

Dankie[01:45]:

@mylovelyreblogs  @amahzing004 @thoughtfulpandazine2 @the-one-who-ate-god @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love @villain-hotline @dabiisdaddy @annimalq @reader-stash @rcjackie @leeladebris @expn @vocaloidinlove @edgycactus @neon-tries-writing @shiggydiggydicked​ @yandereguysgalsandmonsterpals @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa​ @chxrryvibes​ @yanderesmemory @purple-rabanito @amajikistan99​@the-grimm-writer​ @n4dhii​ @imkumichan​  @akura-ous-lady​ @dabicakes​ @leeknowstoomuch​ @nereida19​ @sahrafinee​ @uwubba​@anime-girl-nikki​ @rekoii​ @badtimechara​ @peachyashell​ @weirdr-artiest​ @prince-zukohere​ @deliciousstar​ @murderfesto​  @mltcp​  @alunafort​  @mrsllawliet​  @babayaga67​ @supernaturaldreamergirl1130​  

[taetaespeaches]

Ok what?? Drunk anon here again and you’re a stan of me?? Girl please. I am your biggest stan. Don’t make me get into a brawl of affection with you! I’ll do it! Test me! (Without knowing me I feel like this sounds very aggressive lol - but it’s just my poor sense of humour, I promise I love you really)

Anywho, Yoongi’s list. This felt like Sophie’s choice. It may make me a basic bitch, but I am a Min/Kid gal till death do part these fics and I. Heart is forever clenched when reading these two, and I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that ALL your Yoongi fics are my faves. I read them front to back, top to bottom, on the regular. BUT, a list had to be made, so here we go.

Absolute absolute absolute faves:

When I say I love you forever, that’s what I mean.

My number one turn on in life is communication. Anyone I invest time into, friends, family or romance is someone I feel comfortable to pouring my heart out to, and vice versa with wanting to hear them give it all to me too. Holding meaningful conversation and feeling heard. So, I think what I loved about this fic is seeing someone as aloof as Yoongi (even though we both know he’s not actually that aloof and he’s just a honey boy) feeling comfortable enough to open up to Kid, and showing he obviously cares about her so much that he genuinely wants to listen to what she has to say. That’s literally all I want in a partner. Also good conversation AND smut? Is it Christmas?

You know I prefer apple jacks

I am a hopeless romantic at heart, who’s had an ever evolving wedding Pinterest board since 2011. And PROUD. So the way this spoke to the little girl living inside of me who has engagement and proposal fantasies. GAH. I just loved everything about this. Yoongi’s sincerity, Kid’s goofy banter. All of it. I will be sending this to any potential candidates who want to become my future husband or wife so they can take notes. Love.

I’d so take you down in a riff off

The world IS DROWNED OUT WHEN YOONGI IS SPEAKING. Period. Same Kid - I get you girl. I just love how soft yet flirty he is with Kid, but then so unbothered with everyone else. This is the exact kind of dynamic I am here for! Also love.

You look like Medusa

Sleepy Min in bed + banter = a swooning drunk anon

Honourable mentions that I also adore with all my heart:

- You should kiss a girl before you leave

- Why would you have the condoms clear across the room from the bed?

- You’re always going to be enough, Kid

- I can’t eat my cup of noodles because the microwave is an asshole

- I’m not walking out on you >> Don’t ever write a cypher about me, I’ll cry

- If your plan was to seduce me upon arrival, it’s working

- I love you more than coffee

- Keep it cute, Min. I’m not fucking you in the dorm shower

- I know it’s 4 am but it’s snowing

- My hands smell like gingerbread

I’m gonna spread these out a bit cause I get they’re LONG, but I can’t stop… I’m having way too much fun with this haha.

Love drunk anon, x

:(( we stan each other and it's cute! We're cute! But I will brawl you, bring it!

I'm cackling at you calling this Sophie's choice hahaha. Loving min/kid doesn't make you basic, it just means you have taste like all the rest of the lovelies <3 I'm so happy to hear you love them all so much aahhh that makes MY heart clench :(

Ok your top favs??? I'm so fond. "When I say I love you forever, that's what I mean" is still one of the fics I'm most proud of bc of how like lowkey but intimate it is and yeah, I'm so excited you enjoyed it so much. And I LOVE that you have a wedding pinterest board with no shame, as you should!!! When I tell you min and kid's proposal is 100 percent what I'd want 😩 was definitely living vicariously through kid there lol. Also yes, we love yoongi just being completely absorbed in kid that he forgets anyone else even exists, that's truly the dream. AND OMG! the medusa one- nearly forgot it existed but ahhh it was so fun to write. And your honorable mentions :( I'm just so happy that you love these so much, it's seriously making my day right now. Thanks for compiling these lists and putting your time and energy into this, it's seriously so sweet and it's making me so soft <3

I hope you're having a good week so far! 🧡