#I am so mentally ill about these old men

[betarat]

Happy Valentines! Who needs a partner when I can just ship my favourite block men together?

[friendlysmiler]

i feel like ive never seen anyone talk about any of this why foes he have 3 burner phones, a chinese(?) passport, polaroid nudes, a poppet???? weapons are already onbrand but i need to know his lore ...

[captaincrungus]

a mimir....

[pepprs]

lmaooooo i think i need to quit teaching forever and also bury myself in a hole. lol

[honeyed-disgraceful]

I'm taking a break from my.mental illness daily to focus on old man yaoi

[charmedreincarnation]

MAYA, I MANIFESTED MY DREAM LIFE!!!!

Okay, I don't know if you remember me, but I participated in a lot of your challenges and the Pink’s challenge, and I found some success! I shifted to my wr and manifested some things, but I could never do it consistently, and it was really fucking annoying.

So, I took three months off and worked hard, using subliminals every day and going on affirmation rampages. I was doing lucid dreaming methods, SATs, meditations, yoga nidra, reading spiritual books literally my whole summer was dedicated to shifting and the void state. I was eat sleeping and breathing it because I could not continue to live the way I was even I can even consider that living …

So What did I do

I just followed your challenge because college was starting, and I couldn't go back to school without my dream life for the fourth time, fearing I might actually harm myself. So played the fields with this rampage (together in two different tabs).

During the Day

https://youtu.be/aLsn6ZK4RZ8?si=Dt_j7ChLjNsQ6tpV

https://youtu.be/gBD4Owz1GC0?si=icOkN1DoFsqP-adT

During the day, I would live in the end. I created albums for my desired realities, re-read my scripts, revised my void list because I genuinely believed I was going to succeed, watched supercell shifting videos on YouTube, and stared at my vision board, realizing it was going to be my life the next day, and more!

Overnight

https://youtu.be/JwV297pP9aw?si=Sxx-xlhE_owInoxH

https://youtu.be/DKB5I9y8SEg?si=PI-UaNw2m_VUWYy1

What I Manifested

- Master shifting abilities

- Master void state abilities

- Having my WR to be a perfect heaven

- Making this current reality a dream: desired looks, desired body, never gaining weight, revised wealth and family, dream friend group, a social media following, being worshipped and respected, being so beautiful by my own standards, dream home (I have a mountain range that goes through my backyard and a farm on my land, it’s enormous), revised city, only attracting wealthy, tall, attractive men, pretty privilege, 145 IQ, going to an Ivy League, getting rid of my anxiety and depression, getting rid of my health issues, no toxic family, so much money, and revised my name to Bella because I love Bella Hadid (my old name was Audrey), and so much more.

I know it sounds nothing too crazy compared to other people who manifest powers and trillions of dollars, but I can shift anytime I want. I’m going to my singing desired reality and high school musical Dr soon and I am so excited I have hundreds of places to explore. My life here finally has stability, and I’m so happy. Not waking up with stress, nausea, and diarrhea is a blessing. My house is clean, my family members aren’t fighting and calling me names, my siblings and I are close. I audibly gasp anytime I see myself in the mirror. My phone is always blowing up with people asking me for plans when it used to be dry as hell, and people forgot I even existed. Everywhere I go, people tell me I should model, want to pay for what I’m buying, are so kind, open doors for me, want to help me for no reason, give me discounts, ask me on dates… I’m so happy and confused. I don’t know how to feel. I am genuinely so loved and respected, and on top of that, I get to explore the universe of my favorite shows and movies.

I’m so glad I never gave up, even though these three months were hard and my life had gotten worse, I am finally free, my hard work paid off, and I hope everyone else will do the same. We truly are God! I was afraid this community was some big joke and big bloggers were creative writers or just laughing at delusional people like me, but I can confirm it’s very, very real.

My love I am so proud of you ! And yes I vaguely remember you and your first shift you messaged me about :)!

I am happy your hard work paid off as well. I remember when everything seemed so meaningless and delusional as well and I also thought shifting was some big joke to target mentally ill teens, but the reality is we truly are all god and no amount of doubt and struggle will ever change that truth. I hope you enjoy your dream life, and I am happy I could help 💖

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

By Peter Rosenstein

I will surely be challenged for these views, not the least being called ageist. But as someone older myself, I am comfortable with that. It is not that I think older people are not fully capable of functioning at a very high level; they are. I just believe we must let the next generations, who will be living much longer with the results of what government does, have more of a role in determining what that is.

Based on what we have seen of this Supreme Court, its willingness to overturn decades of precedent, the time has come to expand the court for a rational balance. In addition, we should set 24-year term limits for justices, or retirement at 80, whichever comes first. Changing the number of people on the court is not a new idea. The number of persons on the Supreme Court has been changed six times since our country was founded. The U.S. Constitution is silent about how many justices should sit on the Supreme Court.

“After the Civil War and Lincoln’s assassination, Congress clashed with Lincoln’s successor, Andrew Johnson, who was rapidly undoing the ‘Radical Republicans’ plan for Reconstruction. To limit Johnson’s power, Congress passed legislation in 1866 that cut the number of Supreme Court justices back to seven, all but assuring that Johnson wouldn’t have the opportunity to fill a vacant seat. The last time Congress changed the number of Supreme Court justices was in 1869, again to meet a political end. Ulysses S. Grant was elected president in 1868 with the backing of congressional Republicans who hated Johnson. As a gift to Grant, Congress increased the number of justices from seven back to nine, and Grant gamely used those picks.”

On today’s Supreme Court, Clarence Thomas has now served 32 years, and Roberts and Alito, 19 years each. Then there was Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She was 87, and had served 27 years, when she died, clinging to her seat when it was known how ill she was.

It is only recently I have come to this conclusion regarding the Supreme Court, and on term and age limits for the Congress. We are seeing too many older men, and women, cling to power. They may still have the mental acuity to perform their jobs, but entire generations aren’t serving because they refuse to leave. There is incredible power in incumbency, and we are seeing it abused.

We are asking young people to vote for candidates old enough to be their grandparents, or great-grandparents. Some say they should revolt and change that. But the fact is, so much money is now in the game, the unlimited amount people can spend on their own campaigns, and collect from others, makes that nearly impossible. It’s rare to be able to fight incumbency and wealth.

Yes, it can happen, as in the case of Maryland Congressman David Trone (D-Md.), who is 68, and tried to buy a United States Senate seat in Maryland with $60 million of his own money. He lost his primary to Angela Alsobrooks, who is 53, whose campaign had less than a tenth of that. But she was a known entity, and elected official, in her own right.

Today, in the 100-member United States Senate, there is one senator over 90, four over 80, and another 10 over 70. I propose we set a limit of four terms, or 24 years, and mandatory retirement at 80. In the House of Representatives, which now has 11 members over 80, and 62 over 70, I would recommend a 12-term limit, or 24 years, and mandatory retirement at 80.

I have had conversations with many young people, and listened to their frustrations with their ability to move forward in politics. Many see the world differently than I do, and my belief is they are entitled to be making the decisions that will impact their lives, and not have the older generations continue to do so. I think being in office for 24 years is enough time to make a difference, and to accomplish what you wanted to do when you ran for office. And if you couldn’t do it, it is time to allow the next generations to try.

The desire to cling to power is natural. For many, the fear of retirement, and not knowing what they will do with their lives, is scary. I think one must plan for that, even politicians. They need to accept they can make a difference, even if not in office, if they really want to.

[alavestineneas]

Glass and mirrors

pairing: young!coriolanussnow x fem!reader summary: There is one thing the world needs to know about her: she didn't become a star overnight. She was born to be one. warnings: canon-typical violence, mentions of mental illness, narcissism, blonde men who need therapy, unhinged women, people in shitty relationships and toxic industries word count: 4.6k PART TWO IS HERE

author's note: Hello and welcome to our small community of people who have fallen victim to the charming (and evil) blonde man! This fic is heavily inspired by the edits of models that pop up on my ticktock feed every day. Shout out to them and the talented editors who bless my eyes with their creations. As for YN this time, prepare to be on quite a ride because she, surprise-surprise, is evil! In my head, there has to be at least one victor who feels no remorse at all; they can't all be morally good (and relatively sane) people. Also, the obsession with beauty in this fic is, in fact, intentional, so bear with me. Feel free to comment or insult the author in the comments, but only if you are creative with it. Enjoy and see you in part 2!

In all of her short childhood, she always loved mirrors. Her grandma used to joke about it with her old friends while they shared lunch at the factory: ''That empty-headed child wants to do nothing but stare at herself all day.'' The women would laugh, their raspy voices making the glid, already filled with toxic fumes to the brim, hotter. YN didn't mind; she would pretend not to hear them, clinging to the machinery in front of her instead. She would get out of here sooner or later, and she'd see whose laughter would be left echoing all through the narrow streets.

She wasn't born to rot in this place like these people were; YN was sure of that. Not with a face like hers, with manners she taught herself from the bright magic box in their cramped commune apartment, where a few times a year the government played the show. It was supposed to be a punishment, YN reminded herself each time, but it didn't look like one. She watched the children eat more food than she had seen in a month and then cry on the stage in front of millions. She wouldn't cry if she was there, that was for certain. People die every day here, but none of them get to dress up in the jewels provided by the wealthiest people she has ever seen.

It was funny how they had all the money in the world and still chose to dress so horribly. Mismatched fabrics and smudged colours on their faces, like the colours of the lake near her house—the factories polluted it with dyes, turning the water green, purple, and sometimes even pink. That's how she got her old grey dress to be such a pretty lavender colour. It didn't matter that everyone at school laughed at her, even Miss Kyla; she was horrendously ugly anyway, her hair resembling the colour of unwashed underwear. YN wore her dress with pride, mimicking the voice of the funny multicolour-haired man on the screen, chatting with long o's and a's.

That's how she ended up here, on the first floor of the newly renovated training centre, with a drink in her freshly manicured hand. She had two hours before her stylists would need her again—a time designated for sleep, which she apparently so greatly lacks. YN doesn't care; she went without sleep for much longer than two days. Instead, she does what she loves the most—turns on a shiny screen and watches the golden letters appear: the 15th Annual Hunger Games.

It starts with reaping, as always, but YN skips that part—she doesn't like seeing herself in those dirty rags, although, as papers would later state, ''nothing could make this girl ugly, even if a potato sack was put on her body.'' She likes interviews better. Luckily, the wait is not very long; soon enough, her favourite host pops up, his hair shimmering with sea green.

''And now, our dear viewers, I am more than pleased to announce our next tribute from District 1—please let her hear how excited we are to meet her!'' His voice booms through the theatre as the crowd erupts into applause.

YN moves gracefully, a beaming smile on her face matching that of a host. Her gloved hands wave at the supposed people in front of her as if they were guests at her birthday party. But most importantly, dress. The one she chose herself, arguing over it with her stylist for the last few hours, the one that fitted her perfectly. Capitol enough to appeal to the audience, district enough to highlight that she isn't one of them—she is something new, undiscovered, and worth keeping an eye on. It's almost not a dress at all—the sparkling, sheer fabric of beautiful white, with stars gathering at her chest and bottom to finish the ''almost naked'' look. And the crowd goes crazy for it. People shout, and the splashes of the cameras blinding her create a new melody that is so unfamiliar to YN's ears. Admiration. The thing she craved for so long.

''Alright, alright,'' Lucky Flickerman smiles, gesturing for the crowd to settle down. ''We don't want to scare her off now, do we?'' He turns to her, a microphone in hand. ''What's your name, sweetheart?''

''YN Y/L/N. And I am afraid you can't scare me off, no matter how hard you try. The thing is, I am here to stay,'' she jokes, cocking an eyebrow at the man beside her.

''Oh, how I love your confidence! Now tell me—we heard you are a volunteer—the first in the history of District 1! Are there any special ties to the girl who was supposed to stand here tonight, or what's going on?''

''Well, I was dying to see you in person, of course—no pun intended.''

Oh, there weren't any ties to the girl, or the boy, for that matter. No, YN simply wanted to go at her peak chance of winning—countless years of secret preparation in the factory; working a night shift after school and full days of weekends; hours of studying every plant and animal known to mankind—all to ensure that she wouldn't waste her chance like most kids here did.

''That's an honour coming from your lips; we are happy to see you in the Capitol, Miss Y/L/N. Since you came here by choice, what strategy are you planning on using in the arena? Maybe something tied to your district's craft?''

''If you promise to keep this between us, I'll confess—I will use my charms to make everyone fall in love with me and watch them fight by promising the winner a kiss—and then I will take it from there.'' YN turns to face the lights, staring directly into the camera for a few seconds. The crowd laughs once more, some going so far as to cheer and whistle in excitement. ''But in all honesty, I think I have a fair shot—I would win in a day if it meant the unlimited supply of those amazing cupcakes with sprinkles on top.''

''Well, in that case, you should definitely get a good rest this night—you are not the only one who got your eye on them! Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for the Cupcake Games tomorrow, and don't forget to sponsor this lovely girl right here if you want to see her win! And now, a short word from our sponsors.''

Cupcake jokes are still funny to her, even after two years, although she got sick of them a week after her victory and was just as sick of all the titles papers came up with to fit her into the candy girl box. It served her well, for which she is grateful; the sponsors did send her a shitton of things, although mostly useless.

Next is the introduction of everyone else; YN doesn't care to look at it for more than just a few seconds, speeding it up to maximum. It's boring to no end—how do Capitolees watch it every year with such excitement? She stops to look only when her face appears on the screen, covered in crimson blood.

She counted six canons when she finally stopped to take a breath in and look at her surroundings. That was about right, although YN didn't count how many times she pulled a knife out of somebody's still-warm body and lurched into another nearby. The sand soaked up the blood fast, she noticed, stepping over the pile of what used to be her competitors and walking towards the cone-shaped something. Nobody in sight—each one of the ''better'' kids is now dead without a chance to kill each other, to kill her, and ''others'' will die like flies under the hot sun of what looked like a desert. YN noticed that some even left behind the given jackets; she collected them before stepping into the Cornucopia, claiming them as her own. Not everyone grew up in hot factories, she thought to herself, so they have no chance of knowing how cold it gets at night.

YN doesn't like how the uniform looks on her; the T-shirt hangs around her frame too loosely. It's evident that she didn't eat enough back then, but it was tolerable. The dried blood looked worse; with her stoic face and eye colour, the streams looked too grotesque, almost unserious; it didn't fit the look she was going for. Her hands itch to wipe it before YN remembers that it's non-existent now—the girl on the screen is just a recording. She forwards a little more, looking for the commentary of the first night from the hosts—their excitement and praise never get old—but hears knocking at her door just as she is about to press play. YN glances at the clock—it's too early for the prep team, so it must be someone else—and turns off the TV just to be sure she heard it right.

When the knocking continues, she shouts a quick ''Come in,'' after checking her reflection on the now dark screen. ''Ah, Maggie!''

''How many times do I have to repeat that my name is Mags, not Maggie? Not Mags with fangs either, to be clear. Just Mags.''

''But everyone calls you that! And I want to be special,'' YN whines, laying back on the sofa.

It's Mags. YN likes Mags. Mags is the only girl besides her on the victors' list. Mags is the one who is always down to eat lunch together or to watch the new collection in the magazines. She is funny and down to earth, and, most importantly, Mags doesn't take bullshit from anyone.

''Even more special?'' Mags smiles, opening the fridge to look for something edible. There isn't much; they both know that YN would never eat something to ruin her figure. ''I saw your photoshoot on the street today. It's beautiful.''

''Thank you,'' YN smiles. She doesn't remember which one of her campaigns was supposed to air today, but it doesn't matter. ''Are you here for the promo again?''

The curly-haired woman nods, not looking up from the shelves. ''I hate it. I wish they would just leave me alone, so I can go home and forget about all of this.''

YN is always weirded out by such comments from Victor from 4 but never says anything. Not everyone was born to be in front of the camera; if that were the case, her talent wouldn't be so special anymore. ''It's our job, Maggie. They'll never leave us alone.''

''I know.'' Mags sighed, planting her body on the sofa beside her.

They are different, but YN thinks it's better that way. They are the same age, both 20, and that's about the only thing that ties them together. YN watches as her friend's chest rises and falls as she stares at the ceiling, her long, curly hair in some type of twist. YN would never style it like that, but Mags doesn't ask, so she stares at her in silence, trying her hardest not to compare them. She knows what type of conclusion will sparkle in her brain, but she doesn't want to admit it. Mags is her friend, her only good friend, so something inside YN fights hard to leave her alone. It's an unusual feeling, almost foreign, but YN wants to make an exception. She thinks Maggie deserves it.

''Are you okay?'' the woman asks her, finally snapping out of her trance. ''You are less talkative than usual.''

''Oh, yeah—just a little tired from work, that's it.''

Work. It's not the type of work people can really get tired from, and if anybody thinks otherwise, they never worked a day in District 1. Sometimes, YN can still feel the burning cloud of steam hitting her face when she closes her eyes. The work she does in Capitol is child's play—photoshoots, interviews, promotional campaigns, and runways. She is the only one with this kind of hectic schedule, the only one who is interesting enough for the general public to want to see her everywhere they go. Multiple shows a day wasn't uncommon; photoshoots until five a.m. were basically her usual routine; she did so many of them that she never remembered the brand name for more than an hour.

''Well, I hope I don't interrupt your me-time,'' Mags notes. ''Panem knows you need it. ''

''You worry too much about me. Better tell me about how life is in 4—anything new?''

There is probably nothing exciting, but it feels nice to listen to somebody talk with such love for their home as Mags does. It's also a great opportunity. YN catches every subtle expression and every movement of her friend with attentive eyes, making sure to parrot them later. She noticed from the recording today that her speech misses a certain effortlessness.

-

Curl and twist, curl and twist—YN has learned the pattern by now, sitting in front of the gigantic mirror, surrounded by a team of stylists. Hair, make-up, nails, and toes—five people work hand in hand for her to appear for two minutes on the long podium. The backstage is loud, and a lot is going on—last-minute changes, alterations, and quick touch-ups. YN doesn't bother to look around; she closes today like a face of the collection, and after she is done with this podium, the day is finally coming to an end.

''Oh, YN, darling, here you are!'' The bald man in his forties appears on the horizon of her peripheral vision, clasping his unnaturally white hands together. ''How are you doing, my little star? Anything you need?''

She is irritated to no end; her team booked seven shows for her today; she hadn't had anything to eat in the past six hours; and the loud music makes her head throb. But she doesn't voice any of that—nobody really wants to know how she is feeling.

Just like she guessed, the man doesn't wait for her response. ''There have been some changes in the order today, sweetheart. Jenovia will be closing today, and you will walk in her dress instead,'' the man says, turning to face her styling team. ''Change the hair to fit, and take off the blue in her make-up—it won't match. Good luck!''

''Do what he says,'' YN announces, her mouth twitching just a little. She is furious. To have that blonde bitch Jenovia walk in the best dress of the collection YN inspired? Over her dead body. Or, should she say, over Jenovia's? She will figure it out but do so later. Now there are only four girls before her, so she needs to be ready.

''Three, two, one! Go, go!'' the stage coordinator shouts, opening the curtain for her.

Right and left, hip and hand, followed by the strong clicking of her five-inch heels. The music is even louder here, with the beets vibrating through the runway and pouring into her bloodstream. She doesn't pay any attention to the glass floor underneath her. Surprisingly, her training before games helped her model more than one could guess. YN doesn't see anyone but the blinding lights lining the podium—not that she needs to see the hungry faces of the spectators. It doesn't matter what piece of fabric covers her body; they are looking at who wears it. Final pose at the centre—no smile is her go-to. Hold and turn is the golden rule.

''Here you are!'' One of the seamstresses grabs her hand, pulling her into a small, curtained space with countless clothes on racks. ''Calio wants you to hold a purse for the backstage photo and lose the belt. Where the fuck is the golden belt?'' she shouts, searching for one. ''Wait here; I'll go find it,'' she finally announces, running away before YN has the chance to suggest anything.

YN looks around, carefully moving the laying rags with her foot. She mentally goes over the outfits labelled with names, rating them one by one, until her eyes stop on the white dress. The closing dress, the one she was supposed to model. Underneath it are velvety black high boots.

The idea comes to her mind quickly: she steals a needle from the nearby table and carefully places it inside the shoes, making sure it looks like an accident.

''Finally,'' the woman returns with a belt in her hands, oblivious to YN's half-smile. ''Put it on and go; they are already waiting.''

''Of course, thanks.''

YN isn't sure how much time has passed before she hears a scream, standing up from her place in the corner with a blanket around her exposed shoulders. Surely enough, Jenovia is on the floor, crying crocodile tears—a needle inside her heel deep enough to make a few of the girls around her gag.

''What the fuck happened?'' It's Calio, the boss here; he was ordering her around before.

''I don't know,'' all the blonde girl can manage before bursting into tears one more time.

''Well, can you walk?'' he asks, kneeling to take a look.

''No,'' Jenovia whispers, her hand holding her bloodied foot.

The bald man sighed, more annoyed than concerned. ''We need a replacement. You,'' he points at YN. ''Take it off and change into the dress. Quick!''

YN does what she is told in no time; she doesn't want to wait until Jenovia suddenly gets better or the man finds a better-suited girl to close. After a few minutes, she is almost ready; she only needs the lipstick to finish it off.

''We don't have time!'' the man roars, dragging her to the exit. ''Here!'' He puffs out her hair and adjusts the layers of fake pearls covering her neck. ''Three, two, one! Go, fucking go!''

And go she does. A few steps on the runway, and she discovers that lipstick is still in her hands. YN puts it in the pocket of the enormously large black coat that hides the gorgeous white dress underneath. Step after step, her long black boots draw patterns on the glass. She will have no choice but to buy them; YN doesn't care if it's stupid. They helped her, so she will have them.

It's time for the final pose: YN takes out the lipstick from her pocket and applies it with two swift motions, blowing a kiss to the camera. It will definitely be a hit with the photographers. YN throws one last look before turning around and returning to the curtained exit. On her way back, when the lights lower to follow her back, she can see a little clearer. In the sea of vibrant hair colours and clothes, the platinum-blonde hair and a simple black suit stood out too much not to notice. There is only one person who could afford to look so simple—YN knows it. An opportunity of a lifetime.

She makes another stop in the middle of the podium, right in front of his seat. The coat slides off her shoulders effortlessly, and YN catches it just when the fabric is about to hit the floor. The crowd goes crazy, clapping and whistling at her tricks, but YN has no wish to entertain them any further. YN pauses for a moment, her eyes meeting icy-blue ones, before turning away and finishing the show. There is one thing the world needs to know about her: she didn't become a star overnight. She was born to be one.

-

Since the last show, she has done fifteen more—day after day, opening and closing. Her little trick got her where she wanted to be, with more money than one person could need in a lifetime and nowhere to spend it. Even now, standing in the long hallway of the training centre, she wears nothing she bought herself; all are gifted, sent, or handed by the adoring fans. Like a rag doll, with no say in how she looks or what she does, YN hears everyone say that it was ''a price of fame''. She doesn't think so; she was told what to do long before she tasted real butter on her toast.

The sliding door to her apartment moves almost without noise. While most victors complain that the lock system reminds them of prison, YN is grateful to have it. The thought of some crazy fanatic waiting for her in the dark isn't the most pleasant one. The designer bag finds its place on the floor, soon joined by the coat—room service will clean it up later. The heels slide off her feet quickly, leaving bloodied marks on her skin, but YN doesn't care enough to do something about them.

''Forgive me for joining you without an invitation.''

YN turns around, her hands grabbing the keys in her hands tighter. She mentally goes over her means of escape or fight—a mirror could easily be broken and used as a weapon; if necessary, she could also grab a nearby ottoman. The man in the chair doesn't look too impressed with her thought process. His lips curve into a smile, blue eyes staring at her with undivided attention. A suit, not very different from the one he wore at her show, was a deep brown colour.

''Mister President,'' YN breathes out, lowering her hand.

Coriolanus Snow. Light, almost white hair frames his face like a halo, with his suit hugging his waist just enough to highlight the broad shoulders. YN saw him on TV a couple of times, but seeing him in person was something entirely different. It's like the air shifts around him and changes with his presence.

''I believe we met before,'' he humours her, his eyes shining with mischief.

The light knocking on the door doesn't leave YN any time to answer. She presses a button near it, fixing her hair before opening it. YN tries to look as composed as possible without betraying her nerves—why was he here? ''Yes?''

''The dinner, Ma'am.'' the room service declares, pushing a cart in front of her.

YN nods, even though she didn't order one. ''Leave it here,'' she says, gesturing to the place nearby. When the door closes and she is alone with the man in her room again, her heart skips a beat.

''I took the liberty of ordering; I hope you don't mind.''

Even if she did, she knew better than to say anything. Instead, YN watched as the man stood up and took the dishes from the cart, placing them on the coffee table, before turning to her once more.

''Please, have a seat.''

She does what she is told, sitting down on her king-sized bed—the chair is already taken by him—and waits for the blonde man to start speaking. He doesn't right away, choosing to pour a glass of wine for her and himself.

YN watches the dark liquor pour into the glass, swirling with each drop. She isn't hungry—she rarely was—and the soup he ordered looks more like vomit than a dish, but she still takes the spoon and carefully places it into her mouth. Her lipstick stains the silverware with colour, leaving a small circle right at the end—that's when the man finally decides to speak.

''Dare I say I am a huge fan of your work ethic? Everyone who I've spoken to is very satisfied with your,'' he pauses, searching for the fitting word, ''dedication .''

''Thank you, Mister President,'' YN replies with a polite smile before returning to her soup. She watches him only from the corner of her eye. The way he cuts his steak with his ringed fingers and the way he places a small bite in his mouth before his lips close. There is a subtle roughness in his movements, a power play of some sort.

He catches her gaze and, for a moment, is silent. ''You probably wonder why I am here in the first place, outside of the amazing steak they cook here, of course. The thing is, Miss Y/L/N, that you are popular not only with the general public but with people higher in power as well. One may even say they fell in love with the way you present yourself.''

''I am pleased to know that, Mr. President, but I am only doing my job as a victor.''

''Then you will understand the weight of my dilemma. Those people who have served Panem all their lives faithfully usually don't ask for much recognition; they work because they want to build a better future for all of us. So, when they do ask for a small favour or two, I am more than happy to satisfy them. But recently, all they ask for is you .''

''I believe I don't quite understand. They want to meet me?''

''You can phrase it like that, yes. For a night or two, of course, with all expenses covered.''

It's heavy, the understanding of what Mister President really implies. The thought of someone's hand roaming her body brings her dinner up YN's throat. ''Why?'' Her voice is shakier than she would like, but she is more focused on composing the rising anger than noticing it.

''I am sorry, Miss Y/L/N, but I am afraid there is nothing I can do; I am greatly outnumbered. Unless,'' he starts but doesn't finish his sentence.

''Unless what?''

''Unless you are seen with me.''

His piercing blue eyes look at her, but there is nothing in them. Her chances are limited, and he knows it. There is something rogue in him beneath the veil of chivalry he offers. YN smiles at him. That's what this whole charade was about—he wants her. Coriolanus Snow, the most powerful man in the whole world, wants her.

''Of course, Mr. President. That's very generous of you.''

''Mister President is too official, don't you think, Miss Y/L/N? Perhaps we could find a more informal way of addressing each other?''

''Informal?'' YN asks, tilting her head to the side. If he wants her, he'll get her. ''What about Mister Snow?'' The buttons on her shirt are easy to manage—a few quick motions, and it slides off her shoulders onto the cream cover. ''Or, Sir Coriolanus?'' The pants are a little trickier, but YN learned that backstage, every second counts, so they soon also pool around her heels, the fabric hitting the floor with a slight thud.

The blonde man watches her intently, his eyes following every move of her hands. His legs are still spread wide on the lime-green chair as he slightly leans back. YN can't tell if he is enjoying her antics or not, but frankly, she doesn't care; she is enjoying it.  The way her shadow dances on the wall, the way the air shifts in the huge room, transforming it into a tiny stage. YN looks at him with mischief, with superiority, even. After all, she is the show here. Why not let Mr. Savior think it is for him?

''Come, Mister Snow,'' she says, throwing it in his face like a bone to the dog.

He doesn't have the haste to join her; on the contrary, he stands up painfully slowly. His tall figure almost seems to stretch as he raises, covering the floor lamp behind him fully. When he finally circles the table to stand above her, his presence is overwhelming. YN lets him stand between her legs, his unusually cold hand on her thigh.

''I prefer Coriolanus,'' he whispers in her ear, lowering himself enough to touch her ear with his velvety lips. He pulls away slightly, planting a kiss on her cheek instead. ''Have a most pleasant night, Miss Y/L/N.''

And then he walks away. YN watches as his figure disappears behind the sliding door before she lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Her gaze instinctively finds her reflection in the nearby mirror; there is no reason to shine if no one watches her.

[pinkscaped]

⌗ HEADLINES ! HEADLINES !

A mini collection of headlines that made The Pinkscape stand still. Content warning for Age Gap Relationships, Slut Shaming, and Employee x Boss Relationships!

POSTED : MAY 23RD 2024.

Hide your moms! Finn Lee was spotted making out with veteran idol and second-gen icon Myrah Yamazaki on the balcony of the Mydol building. It's alleged that the pair were at a company party, celebrating the acquirement of DeepDive's contract from Flowerbank Entertainment, when the pair went outside to smoke together. A fan, who might or might not be a stalker that doesn't matter here, caught the pair "kissing passionately" on the balcony after talking for a few minutes.

Though Mydol has released no official statement, Myrah posted on her blog about the photos, stating:

"I know I only post on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Sundays, and it's a Friday, but I just want to say that I DID kiss that guy, and it shouldn't matter. I kiss a lot of guys my age, not my age, older, younger, whatever. I kiss a lot of men because I want to, and I am nearly forty. Apologies for kissing your bias or whatever but leave me alone. He's not hard to kiss so go find him and kiss him yourself. TTYL xoxo, Myrah."

Many girl group stans found this statement empowering, while DeepDive stans found it offensive to Finn, who has remained silent on the issue. "She could've not called him a ran through whore like that," Twitter user "kiwowsussy" posted. "She's a loser I do not get y'alls obsession 😭" User "l8rbaebi" said in the quotes of the original article. This pairing seemed to cause a lot of commotion on Twitter and Instagram, many fans flooding both Myrah and Finn's comments with demands for an apology or pleas for them to break up.

To which, Finn simply replied with these Instagram stories:

Though it's still debated if the pair are officially dating or not, fans have seemed to calm down due to the very blunt statements of, and I quote, not giving a fuck.

POSTED : JUNE 3RD 2024.

Controversy follows Jung Yoonah wherever she goes. We were all there for when the infamous photobooth Jinah pics were posted to the Mydol Family Twitter. If you don't remember, here's a refresher:

Whichever intern posted that was obviously fired because the incident not only caused the tweet's deletion but also Mydol to release an official statement, threatening legal action if anyone makes "defamatory remarks about staff or artists" which we know Son Jinhwa is not above doing when you say something he doesn't like.

What was shocking was the 20-minute explanation video Jung Yoonah would go on to upload on her personal channel. In the video she's sitting on her bed room floor, providing her perspective on the entire situation as well as some insight on the infamous trial between her and Son Jinhwa in 2023.

"I think it's beneficial for everyone to know the truth. I did not want to leave Angelico, I did not want to sue Jinhwa or press charges against him, and I do not believe he is a bad person, which is why I took the first chance to sign with him again. All of those decisions were made for me by people who didn't and still don't care what I have to say. I never wanted to go to trial, but I'm dealing with its ramifications every day. I'm tired of it." Yoonah would start the video off guns a blazing, later going on to name-drop Lee Iseul, Carmen Bae, and former Venus member Bliss as the main people making these choices for her, which caused a massive stir online.

"With all the sincerity in my heart, please stop treating me like a child. I have had people make the most basic of decisions for me my entire life, and I would greatly appreciate it if everyone let me do what I want. I'm twenty-five years old. Let me live my life even if you don't like how I'm living it, please." This plea would cause a debate on whether or not Yoonah is capable of making her own decisions, her messy past of substance abuse, toxic relationships, and mental illness being brought up by fans and detractors alike.

While the video proved to be controversial, it got her point across and even had constellations trending #WELOVEYOUBAEBI across various platforms, which Yoonah responded to by posting an Instagram story of a black screen with a single "thank you 🤍" in the center of it. Despite this support, many are still worried about Yoonah's well-being under the management of Son Jinhwa, who was found guilty of assaulting the idol last March.

The worries seem to have fallen on deaf ears.

POSTED : DECEMBER 3RD 2023.

Son Roan, the magnetic CEO of Angelico Entertainment, was recently seen on what seemed to be a date with Yoomi, once the central figure and lead dancer of Lunarix. However, Yoomi's recent demotion by Mydol Entertainment has led many to question her abilities and intentions.

Born in 2001, Yoomi is ten years younger than Roan, who was born in 1991. Despite her youth, she has struggled to captivate the public. Both fans and critics have noted her lack of exceptional talent and her abrasive demeanor. Her appearance, which some consider average by K-pop standards, hasn't significantly boosted her popularity. This has fueled speculation that her association with Roan might be an attempt to gain attention rather than a genuine relationship.

Roan, renowned for his professionalism and keen business insight, swiftly addressed the circulating rumors. "We are merely close acquaintances," he clarified, adding, "I would never date an artist currently or formerly under my management." This statement seemed aimed at avoiding the kind of controversy that has long overshadowed his cousin, Son Jinhwa—CEO of Mydol Entertainment—who is notorious for dating younger women within his label.

Despite Roan's reassurances, public skepticism persists. Yoomi’s frequent appearances, often perceived as attention-seeking stunts, only serve to mar Roan’s otherwise stellar reputation. Her failure to secure a stable position within Lunarix has led many to question her true motives. Is she genuinely interested in Roan, or is this just another attempt to remain in the spotlight despite her waning popularity?

As the head of Angelico Entertainment, Roan has established himself as a figure of integrity and respect in the industry. It’s unfortunate that he is now caught up in this controversy, probably due to Yoomi's relentless pursuit of attention. His assertion that their relationship is strictly platonic should be sufficient to dispel the rumors, but Yoomi's controversial past makes it difficult to dismiss the suspicions entirely.

Roan works tirelessly to uphold his reputation as a respected figure in the industry, but Yoomi's relentless pursuit of fame consistently brings unwanted attention. The publc can only hope that Roan remains unaffected by this problematic association, so he can continue leading Angelico Entertainment with the same dignity and competence he has always shown.

At the moment, it appears that Roan is unjustly associated with his cousin's notorious actions due to Yoomi's frantic schemes. We can only hope that this will be a brief chapter in what will otherwise be a remarkable career for Son Roan.

POSTED : JUNE 6TH 2024.

Seoul's entertainment circles are buzzing with the latest news about Ahn Youngeun, the luminous actress and expecting mother, who was seen alone grocery shopping without her engagement ring. The missing sparkling diamond has ignited a wave of rumors concerning her relationship status with Son Jinhwa, the contentious CEO of Mydol Entertainment.

Son Jinhwa is no stranger to controversy, often making headlines for his eyebrow-raising behavior and tendency to date much younger female artists. However, last year he surprised everyone by announcing his engagement to Youngeun, the first woman his own age that he's publicly been involved with. Since then, their relationship has been closely scrutinized, and with the recent news of Youngeun's pregnancy, even more attention has been drawn to them. This new development has only intensified the public's curiosity and speculation.

At 32 years old, Youngeun was spotted without her engagement ring and in casual attire, causing speculation among fans and observers about the state of her high-profile relationship. However, when asked about it, Youngeun promptly shut down the rumors by clarifying that they are still planning to get married. She explained that she is currently pregnant and sometimes struggles with swelling, making wearing jewelry uncomfortable. She also emphasized her love for Jinhwa and how hurtful these rumors can be to her.

Son Jinhwa, 45, quickly came to his fiancée's defense. He shared a heartfelt photo from their maternity shoot on social media, captioned with "I love my wife," demonstrating their solidarity amidst the rampant rumors.

Although the couple has released statements to dispel the rumors, the public is still divided. Son's notorious history of objectifying his artists for financial gain and his controversial dating past have cast doubts on the authenticity of their relationship. Additionally, Youngeun's pregnancy and the significant age gap between them only add more complexity to the ongoing drama.

Is this merely a minor setback for the famous duo, or is something deeper at play? Time will reveal whether Youngeun and Jinhwa can withstand the turmoil and silence their critics. For now, the pair appears resolute in staying united, with or without a ring.

POSTED : JUNE 1ST 2024.

After being caught with Jung Juyeon, the failed actor turned dedicated fansite, Chloe Lee, the main vocalist of Venus, this past winter, she gave a somber apology via the Flowerbank official Youtube channel which has now been deleted.

With her hair in a low pontail, natural makeup, and a black turtle neck Chloe would stare somberly in the camera and lament how sorry she was for "abusing her power" and that "she was blinded by love" when falling for CozyChloe AKA Jung Juyeon. "I deeply regret my actions and hope you all can forgive me. I'm no longer seeing Juyeon and will begin seeing a therapist to help me with my behavior."

Yeah, all that was a lie.

On a recent URIDOL, the exclusive platform for Mydol artists, live stream Chloe would share a photobooth photo of her and none other than Lee Juyeon.

"I thought you guys broke up. No. Never. We're still in a relationship and have been even after that bullshit video," Chloe would respond to a comment with a proud grin on her face, "You guys didn't seriously believe that video, did you? I was never sorry. Iseul is just a bitch. That entire video was scripted...I should do more acting, shouldn't I?" She'd shrug her shoulders with a beaming smile.

This clip would go viral, sparking discussions of how we don't really know our idols and shouldn't trust anything put out by companies. Chloe would be scrutinized on social media for this, but only for a short amount of time, as her fans acted like the army, striking down any account that dared to speak ill of her, resulting in a whopping 52 accounts getting suspended.

Chloe would comment on the matter by posting a photo of her and Juyeon on a frozen yogurt date with a "😙" emoji, clearly unbothered.

We wish Juyeon luck.

POSTED : MARCH 13TH 2024

Angelina Choi lost the long-standing defamation lawsuit between her and Son Jinhwa, owing him an outstanding 20.7 billion won as well as a public apology, which she believed the same day she was publicly fired from her job at The Daily Idol, who also had to pay Jinhwa in damages.

"THE THING ABOUT JINHWA. The worst-kept secret in the idol industry." Was published September 6th, 2023 amid a nasty legal battle between him and Jung Yoonah AKA Baebi. This article weighed heavy allegations of grooming, pedophilia, and physical assault against Son Jinhwa, primarily focusing on the testimony from Kim Misun, an idol and estranged mother of his child. Misun would also be found guilty of defaming Jinhwa, though Jinhwa would not require her to pay him any damages, only asking for an apology behind closed doors.

Despite the jury and courts ruling in his favor, the public is split. The police records of Son Jinhwa's violence are undeniable, and the paternity of his son is also undeniable, but since the article's release, Misun has refused to release a statement. Though she didn't release a statement, her mother did, siding with Jinhwa and calling her daughter a liar. "Jinhwa never touched that girl. Those pictures are nothing more than a mentor and a mentee. She was always desperate for attention. I never thought she'd go this far. He's a good man who was good to her."

Following the verdict, Jinhwa says, "The jury gave me my life back." The public celebrates this, while Angelina Choi and Misun are shunned. Petitions to remove Misun from her group, Haute Pink, would reach over 100,000 signatures, and the group's Instagram page would be flooded with death threats and hate comments.

Flowerbank stood strong behind Misun, threatening legal action against those who slander their artist. "We believe Misun and stand firmly behind her throughout this heartbreaking verdict." But Misun, as usual, remained silent and will be absent from public appearances with her group until further notice.

Jinhwa walks a free man with a clean slate.

[maeinthekinning]

So before I say this, note I am a disabled transfeminine individual thats not an mra. Say that now cause people like to caricature for those that go against them.

I've seen a growing number of people say men can't face specific struggles or discrimination with being a man as a factor. Or transman can't face specific struggles. Or there struggles are fine or should be downplayed. Or transmen aren't allowed a specific word for the oppression they face.

So discrimination unique to men or masculine individuals and how might impact transmen

Mental health: many men are discouraged from getting mental health for problems they face, this has been a problem the mental health field has known for decades. Many transmen as they transition are pressured more and more to "toughen up" while dealing with possible therapists transphobia

Sexual assault victims: if you count forced to penetrate, coerced, told have to cause married. Then its around the same for men and women

The thing is, there is an assumption that men can't be raped, or should be taken more lightly, or in the case of brittain with forced to penetrate a much lighter sentence on the perpetrator.

This makes it so even if a crisis center you want to go to says for all. You might not get any help cause a man.

For transmen,a unique position, do they go in as a man and get denied for that, or trans and possible transphobia.

"Men are all violent" is a stereotype, but the reverse, men are more likely to be the victim of violence. Infact of murder victims, more then 3 men for every 1 woman.

But going back to the stereotype. It's the reason that white woman are more likely to cross street to avoid a black man then a black woman.

It's the reason a mentally ill homeless woman seems to get more sympathy and money then a mentally ill homeless man...who is also more likely assumed to just be a drug addict

It's the reason for shot to death by police in u.s. is nearly 20 to 1 for men vs women (no statistic anywhere says men are that much more likely to be violent)

And there are a bunch of other problems unique to men ive seen that i didnt list in detail (like men victims of domestic violence)

Transandrophobia/transmisandry isn't just "misogyny plus transphobia" its also specific problems that transmen find themselves facing, some like i listed are general to men but primarily minority men, but some are for being a transman.

And saying transmen face unique struggles does not downplay struggles transwomen face.

Nor does talking about struggles unique to men (ussually more pronounced if other minorities) does not downplay struggles unique to women.

This is not an either or. All issues should be addressed.

[just-antithings]

This happened a long time ago but I'm still bitter about it so I wrote this

In the peak of covid I started writing fanfic it was really cringe worthy self-indulgent oc×character 10k fic on ao3 that got like 10 kudos but it was my baby Anyways everything was going well until some anti read it and decided to criticize my work , and wow were they creative there "criticism" was absolutely something

1- the anti took issue with my oc being a black masculine woman saying that I was potraying racist stereotypes of black woman

*I am a masculine black woman btw I guess my existence it now a bad stereotype now*

2- oc's father the abuser showed signs of schizophrenia so I was demonizing people with mental illness

*this character was inspired by my abusive father , funny enough my dad wasn't diagnosed yet when I made the fic so I guess this random anti successfully diagnosed my dad before he even went to a therapist

3 I was fetishazing lesbian relationships

*to this day I don't know what the anti ment by that it wasn't even smut the oc and the character only kissed once and I'm a fucking lesbian*

After that they found my tumblr made a callout post and let my inbox be flooded by death threats by other antis until I deleted the fic I lived a whole year thinking the police will knock on my door because I dared to write a fanfic (wich it funny now but terrifying for a 15 year old)

*My biggest problem with the whole thing is the Anti was fucking straight white girl in her 20s like wtf*

that's why I take issue whenever when an anti cries racism about fanfiction , I don't trust them to know the difference between racism and not liking a specific charictistic (or they know just but know people will be more likely to send threats to someone if they used racism as a shield)

Like moments ago I stumbled apon a post calling z fandom racist for making a black character top because that inforces bad stereotypes of black men being aggressive to then stumble apon another post calling fandom y racist for making the black character bottom because black people shouldn't submit to white men (like wtf)

.

[ilynpilled]

ive been thinking about this a bit and i feel like i have some very different feelings towards certain things and strongly disagree with the implications present in the ways i see them discussed. i do not like to simplify these themes to “vengeance/punishment bad wahh”, because it does not at all feel complete enough to convey my true feelings, or the themes of the text itself for that matter imo, but like… ofc i personally cant read things like cersei’s walk of shame, where she is punished, humiliated, and dehumanized through the one thing she was unfairly condemned for her entire life— jaime’s brutal maiming and torture where he is humiliated, fed things like horse piss which he forces down because he is so thirsty before vomiting it back up, gets repeatedly beaten unconscious, and is nearly driven to passive suicide— theon’s excessive physical and mental torment that would take too long to list that breaks him entirely— and even a man as deeply evil as vargo hoat (who is not at all three dimensional) having his hands and feet and arms and legs cut off, be cannibalized, and even be forced to eat parts of himself, causing the pov character that swore to enact brutal vengeance on him to feel ill and repulsed once he finds out— and experience much, if any, catharsis, personal feelings about these characters aside. asoiaf is a series where the author pretty often deliberately places us inside the heads of bad people that have done terrible things, who some readers may feel a certain hatred for, as they are put through torment. not to make the reader feel good and satisfied about it, but to present it as something that should not really be a thing that we revel in, and encourage us to be critical about what is even gained through what they are going through. even a morally dark antagonist without a pov like joffrey and his death was meant to have elements of tragedy. during, tyrion notes that he is a young boy with fear in his eyes that he had never seen in the eyes of his father. whether you feel a certain way about it (and i am not arguing that you are morally flawed for not sympathizing with a fictional character, this isn’t real life, i am just discussing themes that i am identifying), the goal was not really to provide us with a feel-good “justice at last!” emotion through the brutally violent death of a 13 year old boy. it makes me genuinely wonder how some ppl come away with the idea that this series is intended to be a celebration and glorification of punitive justice. i am not saying justice in general is not a huge theme, and some catharsis, especially for victims, over the death/defeat of their abusers & tormenters is present in the text as well, understandably so, because it can mean safety. take pia smiling through broken teeth when jaime has her rapist executed and presents his head to her while setting a precedent with gregor’s men. some people need to die, and deserve it, but what does that look like? who decides it? why? by contrast, the instance of jaime actually feeling good when he hangs a bunch of random outlaws reads as something more tied to his current relationship to the self and certain selfish desires at this point in his story than real justice, and it is further elaborated upon and taken apart in the book. anyway, all these questions are present and the answers are not near as simple as i often see them made out to be.

it doesn’t feel like to me that most things that can be interpreted as enactments of punitive justice or moments of karma are these epic events that should just make the reader blindly cheer and applaud, or even feel good about. there is a reason that some things go awry (like with oberyn), and it isn’t cynicism. there is nuance, and not in a way where victims are condemned for fighting back, or a pacifist ideology is idealized. there just really isn’t a glorification of brutal punishment, ‘eye for an eye’ vengeance, and the needless causing of suffering. same with a blind upholding of duty and law based around flawed feudalistic constructs. and all these things should not even be conflated. not to mention that punitive justice exists also in a way where it is connected to institutions. take the faith and organized religion for example. the whole process is interrogated: what is sin? what sins are being punished? how? why? and what are the actual effects? be it jaime’s and brienne’s conversations/interactions with a bunch of different tertiary characters in affc, or cersei’s punishment in adwd. at the end of the day, she is punished for her body, for being a woman. she does not suffer “consequences” for her actual wrongs and the suffering she causes. she doesn’t really learn anything, and it will all just make her spiral more. the whole concept of punitive justice gets focused on especially with theon’s entire identity being withered away through torture. he experiences so much torment that there comes a point where he is robbed of his mind and agency. what does the “criminal” learn? how can a person change in these circumstances? what is the point, and why should we feel good about this? he is not even really “punished” for his crimes, and certainly not by people with any moral high ground over him, he is just being brutalized. same is the case with jaime in asos: it is a bad person being brutalized by men even more vile than he is, and they are not doing it because they want to deliver any justice to his victims. also, though the maiming does kickstart crisis with him specifically, it is not the determining factor when it comes to his reformation. this story is not actually saying that people can be, and should be, tortured into becoming better people, and if they can’t the solution is to just axe them. there is nuance, sure, mercy is not something everyone is entitled to in all circumstances. sometimes “mercy” towards certain evil people will lead to the enablement of the suffering of others, even entire populations. there are certainly circumstances where compromise isn’t an option. but, again, i dont think george is ever holding back on actually interrogating the moral quandaries when it comes to identifying cycles and ending them, and he is for sure not treating every single aspect of these conflicts as black and white. even tyrion murdering his father, who purposefully does have a very ironic and humiliating death scene, which is important thematically, doesn’t end in easy and feel-good catharsis, especially for tyrion, which doesn’t equal “oh, tywin should be forgiven and spared”.

all of this is also why i do not really see how events like the fall of house lannister (first of all, we know it is gonna include the likely very brutal deaths of two innocent small children), red wedding 2.0, valonqar etc would be these grand and glorious moments of justice and pay-off, treated as just the good guys finally getting an epic W. they will very likely be filled with tragedy, so i am genuinely curious about where these expectations for this kind of catharsis come from

[brownieocean]

Tinder in real life ( Harry Lewis x Reader)

Word count: 1,1k

Summary: You work as an influencer when you wake up to a call from your manager. She tells you about a chance to be on a video about tinder-in-real-life where you could raise your visibility and get more followers. You take the offer up and end up in a Sidemen video where you get to meet a certain shy, blond-haired boy who seems to have a liking to you.

brrr brrrr

Your phone rang somewhere.

brrr brrrr

”Ughhhh” you groan as you reach for your buzzing phone on your bed. You pat empty spots a couple times because you cant be bothered to open your eyes this early getting more irritated by the second when your hand cant find your phone. 

brr-

”Hello?” You answered groggily.

”Rise and shine girl, i got u a job offer!” It was your manager.

”This early? Give me like 2 more hours n call me again, i cant think rn”

”No, i need to give a response now if youre in or not”

”Ughh fine, okay what is it?”

”They cant disclose much, but its a tinder-in-real-life type of video and they’re getting a bunch of girls on it”

”Girl what.”

”It's a good way to raise your following! get your name out there, they get tens of millions of views every video, i really think you should do this”

”Hmmm alright when is it?”

”It's next month, ill send you the address and time closer to the date”

”Mhhmhm ok gnight ttyl”

”Oh and don’t forget to do the-

You hung up on your manager, shes great at her job but sometimes shes a bit too hyper. You throw your phone away and pull the covers further over your head.

It's been about a month and you’ve been getting more anxious every passing day about this video you promised to be in. It is tomorrow and you don’t feel prepared at all. You would need to put on your best smile and make yourself entertaining and likable so you could get as many people to follow you after the video was posted. Your biggest fear was that you’d say the wrong thing or completely embarrass yourself in front of millions and millions of people. 

You walk into the studio and step into a line of beautiful girls. You knew you were pretty but these people were all breathtaking. The line went by fast because it was just a security and id check and after you were guided into a room to wait. You went on your phone to pass the time while some of the girls were squeaking about getting to meet "The Sidemen".

Soon it was your turn. Hands sweating you left the waiting room and walked over to where the tape was placed for you to stand on. You saw a line of about ten guys, some chatting amidst themselves and some giving you awkward smiles. Infront of you there was a cardboard frame with yes and no stickers at the bottom representing tinder. 

You noticed you were fiddling with your ring and made a mental note to try and not look so nervous. “Okay, first introduce yourself, say your name, age and where you’re from” yelled someone from the camera crew.

You took a second to calm your nerves. “Hi, I’m y/n, I am 21 years old and I’m from Brighton!” You smiled at the guy ahead of you. 

He was tall and confident. “Hi, I'm Simon, I’m 27 and I bet I could touch your belly button from the inside!” You saw him cringe at himself.

“Eughh” was heard from the herd of men. “You winced when you said that, I don't even think you wanted to say that” you laughed. “I know, '' he said as you guided him to the left with your hand. Time went on and you kept swiping people based on their lines. You were nearly halfway done and you were having the time of your life.

Next up walked a cute blonde boy who seemed even more nervous than you, if that was possible. He was holding a notebook with both hands where he had scribbled in earlier, probably trying to come up with good pickup lines. 

“Hello, im harry I’m 23.. uhh”

He glanced at his notebook

“Girl you got more legs than a bucket of chicken”

You couldn’t help but giggle at the fact that he had written that down, and thought it was good. 

Every guy laughed while he stood there sending you an awkward smile, fiddling with his notebook. He was having a hard time keeping eye-contact since he was nervous but he tried his best. Something about him made you unable to stop smiling.

“I liked that, plus you’re cute so…” you swiped him right. He did a little “hooray!” with his hands and walked up next to the guys you had said yes to.

After saying yes to Harry you kept sharing sneaky glances with him. Every time you looked over at him, he was already looking straight at you. You noticed he hadn’t stopped smiling since getting there.

Rest of the group went by quickly, lastly you gave a little recap on why you rejected the people you did and then you were on your way. While walking away you looked back one last time and gave Harry a smile checking him out. And he seemed like he was about to say something but decided not to. Shame.

You walked trough the waiting room, where there were only 4 more girls waiting for their turns, to where your jacket and bag were. You felt happy because you did well and it was over. You couldn’t wait to be able to see the video in a couple of weeks. Just as you were about to open the door to leave 

“Hey! y/n wait!” You were surprised he remembered your name

“Oh hi! did I leave something?”

“Just my number haha! uhh anyway..” He scratched the back of his neck holding his phone in his hand.

“..so yeah i was thinking maybe we could grab coffee sometime? Id like to get to know you more.. or i mean if you want that is.. so uhh”

“I would love to! Here” You took his phone and put your number in it. 

“Text me -

“Harry where the hell are you ? We have to wrap this up” 

You heard somebody yell

Harry looked at you and smiled. You nodded signaling that he should go. He jogged back over to the set looking back at you once more.

And there you were walking back inside your apartment smiling from ear to ear when your phone received a notification.

Imessage:

“Hi its Harry from that video! are u possibly free on saturday?”

[dayangaytransman]

Warnings: Transphobia, sexism, misandry, bad therapist and Bear dudes ( jokingly)

In my country, there are no gender therapists, and the psychologists not only refuse to help with transitioning, but also, due to the laws and other issues, often persuade individuals against transitioning.

It was two years ago, and my mother was worried about me. She thought I was mentally ill because I wanted to be a boy. So, she decided to take me to a therapist/psychologist. I’m not sure which one that person was. Anyway.

It was my first time visiting any kind of therapist. I was very nervous. However, because my mom had told me that the therapist, an old cis woman, had experience working with transgender individuals, I wasn’t worried about it. I was mistaken.

So we went to her office and sat down. She asked my mother to leave, and then we were alone.

She was trying to be kind at first. This is a little bit of our conversation:

- Hi, what should I call you? What gender are you?

Me, living in a binary society, dressing as a boy, acting like a boy, and my mother just told her that I want to be a boy : Just call me Dayan, and I am a boy.

Then she asked questions because she was not sure what that meant.

I told her: But they said you have worked with trans people before

She said: No, not really. It was just one person and not even like you. (That was a trans woman.)

Yeah, she told people she is trans-friendly to make money. Anyway, we talked more, and then, suddenly, she got angry.

She said: Why do you want to be a man?! Men are ugly! They are as hairy as gorillas! They smell bad! They are always horny! They are rapists! They are garbage!

I was in shock. I had never heard that shit before, and she was a fucking therapist! I thought therapists were smart! What the hell was that?! She hates all men?!

I am gay, and at the time, I had a crush on a bear dude (he is my BF now), and the things she said made me so angry and upset.

Also, don’t worry, ma’am, I am not going to transition into your husband!

Do you think she was a queen herself? No! She was an ugly old lady who doesn’t know how to dress!

After she said that, I became the therapist! That woman certainly needs one. I told her not to hate all men and that hairy, horny dudes are okay. But if they smell bad and rape people, that’s not okay. I taught her to be respectful and also educated her about trans and non-binary individuals. I was talking for about 3 hours!

Seriously, I was the therapist. Then the lady told my mother that I am okay and not mentally ill. Yes, that’s obvious, bitch. And she took an amount of money equivalent to three days of my mother’s work from us for just three hours. Sure, she did help a little, but it was me acting as a therapist for her the entire time!

I am worried about her male clients and the men in her life. Also, what are you going to tell your transfeminine clients? To not be like you,bitch?

[missmastectomy]

Soo this is awkward. I’m a detrans woman and figuring out what on earth went wrong. I’m making this new blog to vent and get my thoughts about gender out there. I hope I can help at least a few detrans people, and also show a side to detransition most people don’t see.

I used to believe in trans identities with so much conviction. I really thought a person could have a soul that didn’t align with their sex. I was a dysphoric non-binary person who took T and had a double mastectomy, both of which I deeply regret. I now realize I was suffering from mental illness and latched onto my gender dysphoria to explain why I hated my body. Little did I know as a 15 year old that I hated myself because I felt victimized by adult men. In my subconscious I thought that removing my breasts would free me and my body would feel like my own. Now, I just feel that what I actually did was allow another man to violate me. It is difficult to feel like my body is my own, but I refuse to dissociate from it anymore.

That’s really what the trans identity is. Extreme, debilitating sex dissociation. Body dysmorphia that at the end of the day is not special. It’s not innate, it’s not incurable. It is a product of society’s failure to accept gnc people. I ran away from my body because it became my enemy. It was simply not safe to exist as female in the world. I thought it would save me, but it didn’t, and the only thing I have to show for it is two scars and a lifetime of trauma.

If there is such a thing as trans joy, there is also detransition rage. I was lied to by my endocrinologist. I was failed by my therapist, who focused so much on my dysphoria that she totally neglected to ask where it came from. I transitioned as a minor and I will never forgive the trans community for pushing this on kids. I believe trans people 21+ should have the right to transition and deserve to be treated respectfully, but they need to be given the tools to give proper informed consent, which most are currently not.

This is my attempt to find some level of empowerment. I will no longer try to be palatable to people who disrespect women and blatantly disregard children’s safety and rights. I am done with you.

I love to debate and I am open to talking to anyone, especially detransitioners. If you are ever doubting your identity as trans, stop what you are doing. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.

[sneckoil]

ok so i haven't watched housemd since i was a kid and just finished s1 and i am just. why is cameron written like that. genuinely her thing with house had me so completely lost this season. feels like a waste of a great actress but?? maybe I'm wrong?? she just feels so. empty as a character to me. regardless i would love to know what your opinion is on the character bc from what i remember it doesn't get better from here

I dont blame you ban-joey and I really appreciate your courage to send this off anon. We probably have the same experience. I watched house as a kid too (when I was 14, like 10 yrs ago) and hated her for being contrarian and inconsistent and in the way. But since then i’ve looked inward and found i was imposing double standards wrought by internalized misogyny. Anyway.

My opinions on cameron:

Number 1, if i were her i would shoot my shot with house too. excuse me. as if most of us on here are not just twenny… thirty somethings pining after old men. happily going on a monster truck date? getting a date in return for the old man to have me back on my team? Yeah. I respect the hustle. fuck that old man or whatever. marry him when he’s sick. phantom thread him

Number 2, liking Cameron is easy once you accept. That she is really really really not normal. I know this may be something you already know. But internalize it. She says something righteous but it doesnt mean that that is her defining trait. There is something so deeply wrong with her. I know you’re still on season 1 and Yes she Gets Worse but if you are working with the same lens as i am (that there’s something WRONG with her) then everything that happens makes sense. [spoilers] Of course youre only attracted to people when they’re sick and dying. Of course your reaction to being told youre boring is getting high on your patient’s drugs a few weeks away from your HIV test results. Of course you wanted to cheat on your dying husband with his best friend who comforted you while your husband was dying but you didn’t and you still haven’t after the fact he died. Of course you kept your dead husband’s sperm. Of course you wanted to kill a dictator but didnt, and then got pissed at your husband who Did kill him, a husband you actually felt nothing for and was hesitant to even let propose to you [/end spoilers] she’s so funny. If she were a guy they’d call her a messy bitch and love her for it. she has uncategorizable mental illnesses masking as a savior complex.

Number 3, you’re right about the emptiness on some level though. They wanted to write her out of the show and they did her so bad. And I’d say yeah she’s inconsistent as a character, but that goes for Everyone in this show. House isn’t consistent. Wilson isn’t consistent. None of them are consistent. Cameron is only as well-written as the writer who knows how to write her. I’ve suspected the only reason i hated her when I was 14 was she got in the way of hilson. But nowadays that stuff is so unserious to me. All i care about now is messy people being messy about other people

Number 4, she compels me. I like that she’s interesting. I don’t like most of her decisions, I disagree with her the most, but it’s interesting. She’s fun to Watch. She’s no Foreman (that guy is a case study in layers of character depth but that’s for another ramble) but that’s more than i can say for her than someone like, say, Chase LMAO

That being said if you dont like cameron then that’s fine 👍 we live in a society etc etc

I end with this (thank you jackie for putting this image on my feed)