#I blame it on the first half of this being posted on Reddit

[cycle-of-violence-au]

CYCLE OF VIOLENCE - #18

Previous - Next

[lyrakanefanatic]

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheInheritanceGames/s/aXvI2s1MTg

if i could shove my foot all the way down somebody’s throat, i would do it to this person.

OPEN THE LINK AND READ BEFORE HAND BTW!!!

okay. im gonna make this brief because this person literally pissed me off so badly and then they had the AUDACITY to mention gender roles.

they said “oh, if lyra was a GUY and stalked grayson hawthorne for a year, then got mad when he didnt pay attention to her” or some other bullshit. like how… HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO MENTION GENDER ROLES RIGHT NOW WHEN YOU ARE THE ONE BEING SEXIST.

idec. people hold female characters to SUCH a high standard.

first of all, SHE NEVER FUCKING STALKED GRAYSON??? she tried to get his number. thats it. she in no way harmed him and when he told her to stop calling, SHE IMMEDIATELY DID. grayson engaged in those phone calls, so dont act like hes a baby and lyra forced that phone down his throat. she didnt.

edit: i didnt add this bc i forgot but i have to mention this now

and since that person mention lyra being a stalker for GETTING SOMEBODYS PHONE NUMBER, then why dont we start being technical?

the hawthornes sending letter after letter to averys house about the will was stalking. grayson showing up at. her. school. just to talk to her about the will was stalking. but wait…. thats not right. it’s only okay when grayson does it!!!

AND EVERYTHING MENTIONED IN THIS POST ACTUALLY MAKES ME WANT TO DIE. “oh, but lyra was mad at grayson for not calling her back, yadayada” HEY. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THIS IS? SINCE YOURE SO SMART DONT YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS? THATS SOMETHING CALLED A FUCKING FLAW.

YES lyra being petty is bad. but it was ALSO bad when grayson was outright rude to avery for no reason in the first book, or when jameson treated avery as a game again, FOR NO REASON in the—KEYWORD—first. book.

because guess what? do you wanna read what that says?

book 1! as in book 1 in a trilogy! as in square 1 for characters to learn to grow!

this bitchbag moaned and whined about lyra not being perfect. WELL GUESS WHO TF ALSO WASNT PERFECT IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE TRILOGY THEY APPEARED IN?

grayson hawthorne.

jameson hawthorne.

OH RIGHT! THE GUYS THAT EVERYBODY IN THIS FANDOM D RIDES LIKE THERES NO TOMORROW!!

oh my god. you’re so right. if lyra was “half as intelligent as she claimed to be”, then she would have realized through her trauma and obvious depression that the guy who she had been blaming because she is a flawed character who is still growing wasnt at blame. YOU SOLVED IT!!!

guess what!!! if you would have clipped every one of lyra’s “annoying and whiny” depressed thoughts and stuck them together but changed her name to grayson, i deadass would have thought that jlb wrote graysons pov of the inheritance games. you know why? OH RIGHT, BECAUSE THEY GO THROUGH THE EXACT SAME FUCKING HEALING PROCESS!

except everybody’s baby grayson DOESNT immediately get better at the end!! yeah, it took him 4 books to heal!! but oh no, lyra needs to be a perfectly healthy no bad days mother teresa #2 in the first sentence of her FIRST BOOK IN A TRILOGY for people to not raise their pitchforks!! fun fact: YOU ARE SEXIST!!

if you agree with this redditors points: you are sexist.

if you loved grayson even in the first book/even after you finished the trilogy but agree with this redditors points: you are sexist.

ALL IN ALL, THANK YOU TIG/TGG NON-TUMBLR COMMUNITY FOR BEING THE MOST SEXIST PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET, DONALD TRUMP WOULD BE PROUD 🫶🫶🫶

ps. im tempted to make a reddit account and reply to that post and ALLLLLL its comments, but just making this actually made my blood boil. like im being serious when i say that i had to stop mid writing. because im genuinely done with blatant sexism i cant stand it and i especially cant stand knowing that nobodies safe if even BOOK CHARACTERS are being targeted.

(also btw NO i dont think you’re sexist if u have genuine criticism for her character. but this wasnt that. this was blind hate and sexism because nobody nowadays has even a shred of literacy comprehension. there was a reply of a girl genuinely criticizing how she was written and i understand that, but this? this was genuinely sexist and it actually makes me mad that even book characters are facing harsh standards like this.)

[ittydoor]

Pilot pit girl scenes vs s3 e10 pit girl scenes

I made this post on reddit, grave mistake, reddit sucks ass. So to my home I return with joy in hope for discussion.

In pilot pit girls feast we see 8 ppl. In this feast everyone is there except Akiliah and Nat. So, where are robin, Travis, and Lottie during the pilot feast?

ik they're present, they're all seen in this eps feast when Misty brings the food (minus Lottie), Gen and Travis are sat next to each other on a log slightly behind the one the others are sitting on and Robin is next to Melissa. Travis also leads the walkout, Lottie is seen sitting next to Hannah in the morning. so the silly implication is Gen moved and they're offscreen lmao.

Or what is more likely; Shaunas view of the feast is the pilot one, her reality like Travis says and why we get the flashes. It also goes with the fact her monologue during it is about how she forgot everything, despite her stating at the feast never to forget this.

I'm thinking there is half truth to her realization about the fact they had fun doing what they did. Lottie takes joy in understanding herself and being heard, Misty takes joy in being helpful, but they also all literally have fun in most of their hunts. Like doomcoming especially, and the choice to continue this animalistic energy hunting Nat howling, calling, yes to communicate like we see in this episode w/ out letting it be known who you are, but certainly more as a fear tactic in Nats hunt.

I think the point is there was enjoyment in all of them to let go and be celebrated rather than punished, and certainly to different degrees, i'm not saying they all loveeed cannibalism. For example, they feel guilty the morning after eating Jackie but every single one of them enthusiastically eats her bc in that moment it's the only thing they can. But they're not choking through it, Jackie feels like a finally! moment. They feel good, for the first time their stomachs are full, and in that moment they all ignore rationale and allow themselves to take pleasure. They would not have picked her to the bone unless a part of them was happy, and i'm not even blaming them they're legit starving and shes the only food. The only reason a part of them was enjoying it was because they were so desperate for sustenance (in the case of the more sane, I extend my wing to nat). If you don't agree, they have a group hallucination of which they are joyful asf.

Its kind of a double edged sword since Shauna believes they've been pushing it all down to get away from the fact they enjoyed what they did, but i think a lot of them enjoyed it so they didn't face the real horror of what they were doing. That's basically what the personification of the wilderness is and Lottie's beliefs she converts others to. It is them and It is their ability to ignore the dark shit and enjoy it so they don't have to truly think of themselves as awful. But It is also the inherent fact that they are liking it. you cant have nothing w out a thing!

Anyway, so there is truth to what Shauna said, but there is also the fact that Shauna is not remembering correctly. While they eat Mari, it flashes between that and the pilot footage of them eating her where they're more aggressive and animalistic, vs the colored cuts everyone's slower, sad or solemn.

I think what were supposed to be reading from all this is that Shauna has wanted everyone to face the fact that they did horrible shit instead of acting like its fine all season, she accepted this is how they have to be and cannot pretend to be ok, and she enjoys it bc she doesn't see a point in not if this is how she must be. Since they all went nuts for her gfs corpse, shes quite pissed they act like they're not crazy anymore, she thinks they must love it just as much as her, how else do they follow Lottie so blindly and make such an idealized story during the solstice? So she pushes toward a lot of their descent, and spearheads the hunt. And Shauna recounts the feast as the girls being vigorous and enjoying their cannibalism just as much as they did with Jackie. I think its worth noting that a part of her also probably associates them with her same feelings so she doesn't have to be alone in it, like Melissa's monologue. What she doesn't understand is they were mourning a friend and biding time for a plan to come to fruition, for Mari's death to mean something.

Its a great juxtaposition that she is expressing the fact they had fun during a scene where the girls are more themselves and ashamed then they've been in a whillle. And also that shes realizing this when Misty and Tai are realizing that she influenced a lot of the downfall. It sets up s4 in a rly interesting way where they're both right and wrong on opposite sides and need to learn from each other. That they enjoyed the power and the dark shit, fed into it at points, and that Shauna instigated violence when they just wanted normalcy, when they coped by trying to forget.

I'm not sure if the pilot feast is supposed to be how Shauna remembers it or views it, or both.. I think bc she was tricked and the hunt was a ruse it makes sense she'd see it more ritualistically, and vigor in their eating not realizing the feast was never the point, but also all of her monologue is about remembering. I'm thinking it's both! So yes that is my analysis, I really hope you liked it ty for reading all the way through!!

tldr pilot pit girl scenes are Shaunas view of the feast, she believes they're all enjoying it just as much as her, the girls found enjoyment in their darkness as a way to not face how awful they truly were being, they did not enjoy Mari feast however

[amethyst-draws09]

Chapter 3 of poppy playtime and the smiling critters saved poppy playtime (SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 3!!!)

I know that’s a big statement but hear me out.

Poppy playtime before chapter 3 had a bit of a bad rep. It was basically the punching bag of mascot horror. And can you really blame them? Hell even I thought it was bad in chapter 1.

Chapter 2 came round and it was definitely good! But the horror aspect weren’t on full play and if I recall there was a lot of controversy about it when chapter 2 came out.

But chapter 3? Oh my goodness it’s incredible. And is what really hooked me and a lot of other people in to poppy playtime. And the smiling critter’s basically branched off into there own fandom. (I’m apart of by the way)

I mean for starters gameplay. They balanced horror,gameplay,puzzles and story so bloody well in this chapter it’s unbelievable,and the pacing is brilliant!

And the horror 😨. It would be an understatement to say this was horrifying. First of all nightmare huggy wuggy just in general also we get a glimpse into the orphan experimenting in chapter 2 but chapter 3 really just goes all out on it. I mean home sweet home has some DARK connotations if you look into it and it’s terrifying how people as young as 5! We’re experimented on. I mean the main villain of this chapter catnap. Is literally an 7 or 8 year old child. And you are told constantly To AVOID playcare at all cost’s now imagine how I and basically everyone felt when at the end of the cave segment you see a Sign welcoming you into playcare 😨. And then dogday. Holy fu##ing sh#t was that so dark and brutal. HE’S BEEN CHOPPED IN HALF AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE HE DIES BY BASICALLY BEING EATEN FROM THE INSIDE OUT BY THE SMALLER CRITTERS?!?! NOT TO MENTION YOU CAN HEAR HIM CHOKING ON THEM IN THE CHASE?!?! That is GENIUELY  such a brutal and dark thing I’ve ever seen come out of a horror game. And wow did mob have some balls to do that when they KNOW they’ve got a massive child audience. Props to them.

The final boss is such a refreshing breath of fresh air with it not being a chase segment. The boss is GENIUELY thought out well. And catnaps and dogdays death actually made me a bit sad especially with dogday.

The characters designs are So Bloody good. Examples being literally any of the smiling critters. Miss joy and so on. They fit the theme and game so well

Now I could mention other things like the cardboard cutouts of the critters or the dark implications of what happened to the bigger body critters during the hour of joy but that would make this post go on for to long.

To end it off. The artist who made the animation for the start of chapter 3 of the smiling critters and just designing them in genreal and there art should be really proud of themselves. They started such a big fandom it’s unbelievable and I couldn’t be more grateful for what they did.

Chapter 3 was such a joy ride and such a surprise to me and loads of people. When I weren’t scared or sad I was grinning ear to ear with how good this chapter was. And I’m not the only one who thinks this. Search up on YouTube Twitter Reddit etc and you’ll see so many people praising this chapter with how good It was. Not saying it’s perfect it def has it flaws like me personally thinking the other critters were criminally underused. But it was such a big step up and made poppy playtime from a mid game to an exceptional game. I and so many others are happy this exists. This chapter was such a joy ride and I personally LOVED IT. Let’s hope that they make the future chapters as good if not better than this one (and hopefully bring back the smiling critters there such good characters)

And that’s why i think chapter 3 (and the smiling critters) SAVED poppy playtime

[houseofbrat]

Terrible all around, for so many reasons. As a comms person I could do a series of Tedtalks about this.

Nevertheless I really pray for Kate’s recovery both physically and mentally.

Yes, its all very sad but could have been prevented with proper management. The Palace Comms Team needs an overhaul.

Exactly. This seems to contradict Kate’s message that she wanted to wait until they told their kids and now they say it’s because of a potential leak? Which is it then and why would they now blame a potential leak? Who does it benefit by changing the story now and why did they even bother to? It’s so bizarre.

I think it’s a bit naive to blame this on KP’s team. The team is only as good as their bosses and William is pretty inept at handling press

This to me has nothing to do with a leak and everything to do with Easter. They knew she wasn’t going to be present for Easter so they had to make an announcement and get out in front of it early.

This was my first thought as I watched Kate’s video. If not for the leak, they still would be silent.

The idea the rota is pushing is it’s all the public’s fault for wildly speculating, and it’s not sitting well with me. It was mostly jokes about Kate being at the Willy Wonka experience or that she was getting a BBL. Then they released the fake photo and AP flagged it.

The papers got pissed because there WAS a story and the Palace wasn’t feeding them, so they turned up the heat. Nobody was talking about Rose Hanbury until The Independent (I think that was the paper) ran that story “Who is Rose Hanbury?” and repeated the old rumors of the affair. And some other online news site ran a story asking what would happen if William committed a crime. And then you had Piers Morgan saying he has heard wild rumors and if even half of them were true, he was concerned.

Yes, there are nasty people out there who gossiped but the media help set this situation on fire. And KP completely bungled the PR response. But they need to spare us the “shame on you all” narrative.

Wishing Kate the best and I hope the people who accessed her medical info are held responsible.

It's the fake photo and AP killing it that set this whole thing into the stratosphere. Before that all noise was limited to a small corner of the internet. No fake photo and ninety-eight percent of mess that happened never would have happened. KP is responsible for the mess and no amount of scolding from the rota will change that.

Sometimes I wonder what their long-term plan was for this? Obviously Kate having cancer would mean she’d need more time away than what they previously let on, so if the conspiracies never took off and they weren’t under a ton of scrutiny, I wonder how/when they would have told the public about her diagnosis, if at all.

Considering how they’ve handled more minor health issues, like William having COVID, I just assume KP never wanted to be transparent in the first place and were forced. Which sucks for Kate but has bad implications for a publicly funded institution IMO.

I don’t think there was ever a longterm plan here. I think everyone was taking it one step at a time and trying to process and figure out what the next step would be.

I’m honestly surprised because I am sure Rebecca English said they didn’t have their hand forced. Plus there were two days between Wed and Friday and any leaks could have occurred then as well. I do think it was getting to the stage it was an open secret witch certain circles.

I don’t understand why this and the “were angry about speculation” stories have been leaked - if they’ve been leaked by W&K and not somebody else. Not going after the alternative theories with this comment rn.

Like, they do want this to die down, right? I’m assuming so, because Kate is sick. I’ve never really cared about her actual illness in this whole debacle, but cancer or not, in her shoes I’d want the least amount of speculation possible. And the “we’re angry about speculation post” before the reveal was not the way to do that. All that was going to do was increase the speculation because if there’s one thing the internet likes doing more than anything else, it’s doing behavior they’ve been told not to.

Now it’s been revealed that Kate has cancer and I think the whole slew of “you’re bad for speculating no matter what the speculation was, even if it wasn’t health-related” posts were bad because they encouraged talk about her even as they were saying people shouldn’t talk about her, but that wasn’t in W&K’s hands so I’m not gonna blame them for that. Either way, the gossip around her did die eventually.

But now they’re bringing it back up of their own accord, if this is them? Why? It was already said that people tried to access her info. If this inside source was BP, revealing this is just bad for the overall family image. It proves Harry was right once again. If it wasn’t, I guess I understand wanting to talk about the source, but it’s still giving attention that I don’t think would be wanted or needed right now.

This is what has fascinated me about the KP PR ever since this entire thing started. It just seems like completely weird decisions over and over and over again.

100% this is a situation of their own making. They literally exist to be seen- what did they think was going to happen if one of them just disappeared? They’re so angry at how everyone reacted but maybe they should take some time to self reflect and see how their own actions and life created this whole mess.

Because the PR/comms team is incompetent and their employers are stubborn with gigantic hubris.

The virtue signaling “everyone participating in the gossip and making jokes and sharing memes should be ashamed!” will never sit well with me. We’ve been shown time and again for decades at this point that their PR is very sloppy.

they're really trying to guilt trip the public for not knowing she had cancer after faking a photo documentation as an official government institution, aren't they?

look, if someone tried to access her.files that's criminal and should be prosecuted whatever. that's another issue. 

but the BRF cannot use fear of public speculation as a tool to divert us from the fact that they faked an image and tried to pass it off as real. this is incredibly problematic on many levels. not only we cannot trust them to pass on truthful info about themselves (which, with their history of throwing women to the wolves, is icky), but as british official representatives, they should be held to all possible standards.

on a personal level, i hope she recovers, her treatment isn't too terrible as in side effects and her kids are able to grow up with her love all around. 

but as someone with basic standards for media and government, and also a citizen of a democracy (in the global south, where we have been victims of rich countries' bullshit explanations), they can all fuck off with this take and blaming.

They even put out a statement around late January where they said she didn’t have cancer. They can’t be surprised that people thought something was up when they weren’t being entirely truthful.

King Charles's team announced he has cancer and just moved on, so did the public. I genuinely don't see why they couldn't have done the same for Catherine. A quick "we did surgery back in December, discovered i might have cancer, will be stepping off the public eye for a few months to seek treatment and spend time with kids" would've done it. Her team is not being asked for her to deal with her emotions in public, the public just wanted to know why she hasn't been seen from or heard from for a long time. They completely bungled this one.

[kiss-my-freckle]

Perhaps Delena is lust-driven, or perhaps Stelena would've had as much sex as Delena if not for Stefan's desire to eat Elena every time they climbed into bed together. Perhaps it's good for Stefan to respect Elena's choices, or perhaps it's good that Damon challenges her choices. Perhaps it's good to fix flaws, and perhaps it's good to embrace them for what they are. Perhaps Damon and Stefan are written the way they are so that both are equally liked and equally hated.

Ship wars are hilarious to me because shippers never view the full picture. They just hate what they wanna hate. I recently came across some Damon-hating posts, and I'm like... wow, fans only accept half the truth and completely disregard the other half.

The first issue on their list, is the fact that Damon rubbed Isobel's death in Alaric's face and hurt Elena's feelings in the process. They're obviously referring to 1x15. They completely ignore Stefan's side of the episode because it clearly makes them feel better. Never mind the fact that Alaric assumed Damon doesn't love, thus, doesn't get depressed. Never mind the fact that Alaric didn't think for one minute that perhaps watiing a bit to get answers about his dead wife would've been better because Damon might be mourning his own loss. Never mind the fact that Stefan didn't think to explain this to Alaric. Never mind the fact that Alaric was being quiet about his problem with Damon while Stefan questioned Damon about Isobel. Never mind the fact that in taking Stefan's advice, Alaric made himself look like a coward, solely reliant on Stefan to get answers from Damon about his own dead wife. Same for Elena. Never mind the fact that Stefan didn't think to tell Damon that Alaric's wife is Elena's mother. Never mind the fact that Stefan didn't think to tell Elena that Damon killed Alaric's wife. Never mind the fact that Damon and Alaric and Elena have no problem working together while Stefan is being tortured by Frederick. Damon AND Stefan AND Alaric AND Elena are to blame for what happened in 1x15. It's that simple. Never assume shit AND always get the whole story. A point Damon makes every time he tells Elena she doesn't have the entire story.

Like I said, perhaps Damon and Stefan are written the way they are so that both are equally liked and equally hated. Trust me, if Damon were as shitty as Stefan stans would like to believe, he wouldn't have so many stans. If Stefan were as shitty as Damon stans would like to believe, he wouldn't have so many stans. That's why I don't bother with ship wars. I vent on my own page so that people can accept what they read or scroll the fuck past it. I've never seen so many childish fans sitting in one place, but that's basically what I see on reddit.

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #151

Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction - practically first drafts - posted daily (haven't missed one yet!) and sometimes written with the express intention of being terrible… but, you know, in an endearing way. Please like and reblog if you enjoy - the notes keep me going!

My (26M) wife (25F) has sent me to sleep on the couch because I keep climbing down into the basement - AITA?

Hi reddit, first time poster short time lurker. I just found this subreddit and thought I should ask what you internet people think about this.

Some backstory - we got a great deal on this house a few months ago. It's a fixer-upper, but I'm a professional contractor so I decided I should just do the work myself and save some money. I'm detail-oriented, so I always make sure to do things by the book, up to code.

My wife (let's call her Amy - not her real name) is detail-oriented too, in her own way. And by that I mean she's a clean freak. If the water spots on a spoon are the wrong color, she'll wash the whole thing over again. It's exhausting but I love her anyway. Don't tell her I said that.

Anyway, while I was fixing up the place, I found a ladder down to the basement. It's really neat down there, so I've been hanging out in the basement a lot. It's fully furnished and everything. A really nice surprise since it wasn't on the floor plans.

‘Amy’ refused to join me down there and kept saying it wasn't real, but, like, obviously it's real or I wouldn't be able to go down there. She was scared for whatever reason but I didn't let it stop me.

When COVID hit, she went nuts. Had to spray all our groceries with bleach before they could come in the house. You wouldn't believe how much half-melted ice cream we have in the freezer. Well anyway, the stress got to me, too, and I had an incident in the kitchen.

After that, she blamed the basement. I told her she was being ridiculous, she told me I was hallucinating from a gas leak. But I guess she got curious and climbed down there herself. Ever since then, she's been freaking out, scrubbing the whole house and herself. She won't tell me what happened but she keeps accusing me of “frolicking in filth” and she didn't want me sleeping in “her” bed.

It doesn't even stink down there or anything. I think she's the one hallucinating. But I don't know, I guess maybe I'm the one who screwed up. Am I the asshole?

This Brain Curd is a response to a prompt by @jasminewalkerauthor:

Rules: write an am i the asshole post as if you are a character from your wip.

I've never played a tag game before, but here it goes (I hope I'm doing this right) (no pressure, folks): @aritany, @friendlyshaped, @theliteraryarchitect

[meander1995]

A moment of reflection

It has been a long time since I paid any mind to this account. I am here to make a gigantic life announcement.

On July 11th, 2023, my life changed forever when I asked my sister if I could put on her black dress (in the photos below). In that exact moment, I felt a cold rush of euphoric bliss as the dress fit me--something unlike anything I felt before. On a whim, I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror with my phone and took the first photo below--I saw her. I knew from the cold chills right then and there that my egg had cracked and that I am a trans woman.

From there, my ADHD hyperfixations had spent most of the time since in an intense focus on getting to the bottom of things. And once it was certain (self-doubt be damned), focused on getting my ducks in a row to transition socially and physically. I came out to my family less than a week after I realized myself--I simply went to sleep in a dress and didn't give a fuck who saw me. I figured that if I was half-asleep, I would have time to make myself spill the beans before processing enough to put myself in a panic. Not that I had cause to panic much since I am grateful that my family is either supportive (my mom; one of my younger brothers) or part of the LGBT+ community (my other younger brother and my two younger sisters) themselves. As such, all of them supported me the instant I came out and picked my name of "Adrienne." Hell, my sisters even got me dresses and taught me how to do makeup for my 28th birthday on July the 19th--and later took me thrift-shopping for even more dresses (my favorite photos of which are included)

Even though I never felt any signs of being trans before 7/11/2023, in hindsight, there may have been quite a few signs in my memories. Such as when I was in kindergarden, I recall saying to someone that "if I was a girl, I'd look forward to being pregnant," something which I said ignorant of how hard pregnancy is on a human body--but perhaps is something that should've been a sign. Or all the times I felt as though I related to women more than men in a social sense--loathing toxic masculinity was normal for me, but even the non-toxic parts of it felt like I was just coasting. Or the times in Uni where my social anxiety (likely a product of my autism) plus my brain fog (which I now know was likely the product of then-undetected gender dysphoria) led me to believe that I was so bad at befriending women that I was a serial harasser--something I blamed myself in a now-misdirected sense of self-loathing that I thought only plunging into my academics (at the expense of a social life) would cure. Or my general sense of depression over much of my post-Uni life that I had no idea of the cause--until my egg cracked and I saw the problem right in the eyes.

Not going to lie, seeing posts on Reddit, Discord, and Mastodon from other transfemmes (especially those with Autism and ADHD--like myself) with similar life experiences to me and befriending them ended up assuring me that I was never broken. Just misdirected the entire time. And little things like dresses, makeup, shaving my legs, stuffing a sports-bra to give myself the convincing illusion of breasts, and feeling as though I am swimming in my pool for the first time in my own body since pre-puberty. Every day since my egg cracked, my resolve that I am a trans woman has only grown more-and-more.

In the afternoon on my 28th birthday (7/19/2023), I took my phone with me to walk to the woods outside the front yard of the lake house I was spending the week with my family on vacation. I was determined to make the call to my local Planned Parenthood to schedule an HRT consultation under informed consent. While I was successful, I was taken a bit aback by the fact that the waitlist for it is so backed up that the soonest I could be scheduled was October 2nd. After I successfully scheduled myself, my immediate thought was "I don't want to have to wait that long." And so later that week (upon returning to my hometown), I was directed by someone on Mastodon to a DIY HRT directory of international pharmacies that I can order HRT from. I chose to order 2mg Estradiol and 100mg Spiro from Thailand and--last I checked--the shipment is on the plane now and will arrive anywhere between 8/15/2023 and 9/5/2023. It is a 3 month supply of HRT--long enough to last until the consultation gives me officially regulated hormones yet short enough that I won't suffer health problems from being unable to check my bloodwork.

Even though I am resolute that transitioning is the only correct choice for me, I will not lie that I have some anxieties about this still. Not with the transition itself, but some things that accompany this. Since I couldn't immediately afford to bank sperm, a major source of anxiety is and was having to make the choice between fulfilling myself or having bio kids. As is, my options for children are hoping I get supremely lucky with some still-active swimmers, hope I can go off hormones and bank sperm at a time where I have a stable income (I'm also using a job coach system to place me into a job now--and the system knows of and is supportive of my transition), adopt children, or end up step-parenting a child of a future date. I don't see adopting or step-parenting a child as meaning that that child is less 'mine' than a biological kid, but I do think having a bio kid would be nice when the time is right to raise them (probably a decade down the road). I hope that future generations of trans people do not have to make this choice. And that isn't even considering that the idea of bottom surgery has crossed my mind a few times--I don't dislike my natal genitals, but think it'd be cooler and more gender-affirming with a vagina (that's just me personally---you are valid if you don't agree with me); it's a thought I'll put a pin in for now and see how I feel down the road.

The other annoyance is my mom. Yes, she is supportive of my choice to go on hormones (I haven't told her the DIY HRT route as she is a stickler for offical pharmacutical medications and I don't want to worry her unless the signs of feminization become too noticeable to hide). However, she is just as surprised about this as I am. She thinks I am going too fast--aka, she hasn't been aware that transition can come from euphoria instead of dysphoric suffering. I'm glad I didn't have to suffer in order to realize my identity and hope it becomes more accepted that that is a valid path to realizing yourself. But mom is slow to adapting her terms. She thinks "Andi" (just one letter off from my deadname) is a sufficient nickname for "Adrienne" instead of "Adri" or even "Addie." And she's also referred to me as "he" or "son" when I am neither. I've gently starting nudging her as of today, but something tells me it will take a little bit to get her to adjust.

Overall, I am excited to begin my body transitioning into a female form. I've made peace that I probably was a woman the whole time. My brain fog may have been caused by years under the wrong hormones (testosterone instead of estrogen). I want my body to run on the correct fuel. Give me no brain fog, give me soft skin, give me reduced body hair, give me greater emotional range, give me girlsmell, give me boobs. And at this point, I love being trans. Because in a way, all the questioning that got me here made me more sure of who I am---almost as though the end-result is an hard-earned victory that I am eager to claim the spoils to.

As for fighting the political battle against transphobia, I'm all for it as a liberal and as a human being who is appalled with what is going on. However, I am focusing all my energy on transitioning at the moment. When I have energy to spare, I will fight the good fight. But I have to live life a little bit as me first.

EDIT: One thing I forgot to mention in the large body is that paying for the DIY HRT put me back on my insurance payments and that I will need mutual aid in order to pay my insurance so that I can afford the officially prescribed HRT after the Planned Parenthood consultation. Below are links to my PayPal and Venmo accounts. If anyone would like to donate, it would be VERY much appreciated. But only donate if you can do so without putting yourselves in financial jeopardy.

Venmo: https://www.venmo.com/u/adrienne-harper-115

PayPal: https://paypal.me/AdrienneHarper7

[saintmeghanmarkle]

WME is rumoured to be planning on dropping Meghan as she is "too hot to handle" after the release of "Endgame" by u/RolloTheMagnificent

WME is rumoured to be planning on dropping Meghan, as she is "too hot to handle" after the release of "Endgame" Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive- Sir Walter Scott, 1808 Meghan Markle's Hollywood relaunch is 'not going to plan' and may already have been scuppered because the royal race row sparked by Omid Scobie's new book could make her 'too hot to handle', experts told MailOnline today.The Duchess of Sussex recently signed with William Morris Endeavor (WME) mega-agent Ari Emanuel whose clients include Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, tennis star Serena Williams, among other A-Listers.Brand and culture expert Nick Ede told MailOnline today that Endgame could be as dangerous for her career as Spare - her husband's memoir - was for Prince Harry, claiming her representatives in LA will be worried she has 'tarnished her reputation and could potentially damage the reputation of her agency'. Mr Ede believes Meghan could soon become 'too hot to handle' after two members of Harry's family were named as being at the centre of the race row allegations in a Dutch version of the book. He also claimed that the silence from the Sussexes since the book came out makes Meghan look 'guilty by association', despite vehement claims by Mr Scobie, who is an ally of the actress, and her friends that she had nothing to do with the book.Mr Ede said: 'The book written by Omid Scobie is potentially a career incendiary device for Meghan. Just as Harry's own goal of a book has proved for him, the new book by Scobie unfortunately has fuelled a fire which many had thought would die down.'The issue for a huge Hollywood agent is that they will find it hard to navigate the career of Meghan fearing that more will come out over time and that, with court cases looming from her sister and potentially her father, she has tarnished her reputation and could potentially damage the reputation of her agency’. https://ift.tt/Op09JWR As Lady Mary from Downton Abbey would say, "Golly". Looks like Meghan's own annus horribilis continues unabated. Ari must have been waiting for such an opportunity to get her off his books, and I can't say I blame him. His calculation of signing her on has backfired quite spectacularly, and now he must hustle to protect the rest of his stable before they start leaving out of fear of association, or worse, are press-ganged into interacting with the terrible twosome for some dreary half-hearted photo-op, as Kevin Costner found out to his frustration. post link: https://ift.tt/jzLwN8o author: RolloTheMagnificent submitted: December 07, 2023 at 08:11PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

[cellarspider]

Thanks to the previous reply for digging up the real image.

This why linking to sources is important. This is why going to sources is important, to verify something is a photograph of a real event.

If you can't find a source for an image, check two things:

1 . Go to Google Image Search. Click the "Search by Image" option on the right of the search bar. Search for the image URL, then click "Find Image Source" above the main result. You will get a list of results that includes the date. If you only see social media results or clickbait websites, consider it deeply suspicious.

2. Go to TinEye, do the same process. TinEye and Google Reverse Image Search work slightly differently, and TinEye lets you sort results by when they were posted online. Neither are comprehensive, but between them, you have a good chance of finding the original source.

I'm going to break down what I found when I did this under the fold. TL;DR, It took me 15 seconds to gather enough information to determine the top image was fake, but 30 minutes to identify the original point of spread on the English-language internet.

I don't blame people who get suckered by this stuff. We want to trust each other. When others have already been circulating an image and have provided a story for it, it makes it seem more real.

If you don't know the facts, and especially if you're viewing an AI-generated image on a phone, where potential giveaways are harder to spot, it can be easy to believe it.

This is a pretty harmless example of something that can be far more dangerous, when it's applied to more sensitive topics.

Be safe out there, everyone.

So, here's how my search for the image's source went.

TinEye's first identification of the top image comes from Imgur, 25th February, 2023.

The comments were a mix of credulity and people pointing out that the image cannot be real, by the laws of optics. While the title doesn't claim that it's real, the "photography" tag is a lie.

The next day, it was already being circulated elsewhere on the internet with further misinformation.

This was apparently the second time this had been posted there, and was removed for not being a photo. However, it continued to spread on Twitter, with more misinformation. We see the first invention of a supposed photographer, to give it more authenticity. I don't know if this is the first guy who came up with it, but this was within the first day of circulating the image.

This other twitter account includes a link, but it's to a clickbait website, not any sort of original source.

Later, this was scraped up by more legitimate-looking clickbait news sites.

Note that this story is complete bullshit. They've not cited any sources. They've not linked to the original image, because they don't have one. They haven't directly quoted the photographer, because he doesn't exist.

As a note: This sort of thing can happen on any news website that doesn't do its own in-depth reporting, or legitimate publications that have an "affiliate" program, or a social media division. These are of variable quality, and often do not seek to cite anything other source than "Twitter".

It took fifteen seconds to verify that the image was likely fake using TinEye. It took half an hour to find a reddit post that linked to fact-checking website that identified the first time the images were spotted on the English-speaking internet, in a tranche of AI art posted on Facebook on February 5th.

This is as far as I can follow the trail, lacking the facility in navigating the Chinese-speaking internet to go any further. But you can see how quickly this developed into a hoax, through a combination of reasonable-sounding lies, the addition of more and more detail to the story as it passed along, and credulous spread of the image.

Full circle rainbow was captured over Cottesloe Beach near Perth, Australia in 2013 by Colin Leonhardt of Birdseye View

[xtinacherry]

Eden of the East P.2 Blog Post 4/15

Wow, I was way off on the theme and meaning behind the anime from my last post! These half of the assigned episodes allowed me to gain a new perspective. Last time I talked about how this show was revolving around identity and the ability to disconnect from your former self, but even if that might be a small part of that, the larger theme was definitely about the Japanese government. 

In the earlier episodes and the first two episodes assigned for today, they try to show NEETs as useless shut ins that do not contribute to society and, thus will be the reason it falls apart. However, that is not the case. Also, so much hate against NEETs! Off topic, but I think given some of the work cultures in Japan, kinda like in ZOM100, this might skew the opinions of NEETs. Work culture in Japan is very intense and you basically dedicate your life to your work and one company. I liked how this anime tried to humanize NEETs and show that they are people who are still capable of change and are able to contribute to society in different ways, kinda like the reddit thing. 

This anime also kind of reminded me a little bit of Penguindrum. The Sarin gas attacks in 1995 were explained by the government as just being fate with it just being something that will occur and is out of their control. This anime gives me a sense of that, where they believe that fate drives the decisions of the government and they cannot control what happens. However, this is definitely a cop out and just shows the weakness of a government. Not being able to place prevention tactics either before or after an attack like Careless Monday. It just seems like they try to deflect blame from anyone but themselves. 

[ghastlybin]

Handong Zombie Apocalypse! AU 02

Finally got around to posting part 2 cause I fcking slow. Also ignore the fact I double posted. shh.

▾

▾Zombie Apocalypse! AU ▾ Series ▾ Angst ▾ Fluff ▾ GN! Reader x Handong ▾ Some zombies are mutated ▾ Survival ▾ A tad bit of gore ▾ … A bit more than a tad, actually. But not too much. This isn’t reddit ▾ Violence ▾ Profanity ▾ FT. Yoohyeon and a mention of Dami ▾ Kinda unrealistic but it's fanfic... ▾

▾

W.C ▾ 3.3K

Synopsis ▾ Surviving with the group of women who took you in, you find yourself more comfortable with them and growing closer to them each day. When Handong, the woman who saved your life, asks you to accompany her out on a supply run, you are quick to accepting in an attempt to become more closer to her.

Previous ▾ Next

“You’re getting better at this.”

It was Yoohyeon’s voice that brought you out of your trance as you watched a trap she taught you how to set succeed the first try. Yoohyeon handed you an energy bar on her way to set up another trap as the area recently had in influx of infected in the past month you’ve been with the girls.

“Actually eat it this time. Handong worries about you enough.” Yoohyeon began to tie the rope she held in her hands around two trees.

“She worries for me?” You tried to hide your smile, now knowing that she cares for you enough to be worried.

“Mhm…” Yoohyeon hummed, attaching a net to the rope. “Especially since what happened last week… Siyeon told me a theory she has about you, and now I’m starting to believe her.”

“What’s the theory?”

“That you purposefully get yourself into dangerous situations just so she can nurse you.” Yoohyeon stood up, sighing in dissatisfaction with her trap.

“Anything I can help with?” You offered, seeing the net fall apart. Yoohyeon shook her head and gathered the rope and net.

“Nothing to help with. This is all screwed up.” Yoohyeon frowned, looking around the woods. “Hey, you didn’t deny Siyeon’s theory.”

You smiled, shaking your head defensively, “if it was true— Which it’s not! — But if it was, can you really blame me?”

Yoohyeon didn’t respond, only giving you a knowing look. You began to grow nervous and hoped she wouldn’t speak a word of what you said to Handong— Or anyone.

But at the same time, you hoped she would and that you could finally tell Handong how you feel about her.

“I knew it.”

“What?” You knew you were bad about being oblivious, and yet you still decided to play dumb.

“I knew it!” Yoohyeon repeated louder with a grin on her face. “You’ve got it bad for her!”

“Okay, again, can you blame me? I mean, look at her! You’ll get it.”

Yoohyeon scoffed, slinging her backpack onto her back.

“I can’t look at her. She’s back at the hotel.”

You playfully rolled your eyes, giving her a soft shove, to which she almost lost her balance, stumbling into a tree nearby.

“Sorry! I wasn’t trying to make you fall.” You held out your arms for her with wide eyes. Yoohyeon waved you off, stifling back a laugh.

“I should’ve saw that coming.” Yoohyeon laughed, easing your guilt. “We should head back before Minji thinks you’re doing something dangerous again.”

“Why just me? You’re with me too!” You defended. Or at least tried to. Yoohyeon began to walk towards the direction of the hotel.

“No matter who you are with, you’re always the reckless one. You’re the reason we are low on bandages.” Yoohyeon was not intending to blame you for the bandage shortage, she was half-joking, too.

But she was right.

You were reckless. Maybe it was to show the girls, Handong specifically, how brave you were. Maybe it was to show them how grateful you were to them for not kicking you out— Or killing you, for that matter, and being reckless was your attempt to prove yourself to them.

But you’re not invincible. You have gotten hurt and shed more blood in the month you’ve been with them than any of the girls have since the outbreak.

Sometimes you wondered if Handong expected you to come back hurt in some way every time you left the hotel. She would always be waiting there for you, a first-aid kit in hand when you’d walk through the hotel doors.

This time around, with Yoohyeon, you were fine. Not cuts, bruises, sprained ankle, infection scare— Nothing.

You never thought the day would come, but you actually broke your streak.

Even on the way back to the hotel, you felt nervous, as if something would come by and keep the streak going again.

“Holy shit,” You watched as Yoohyeon held the hotel door open for you. “I actually made it back safe.”

“Congrats.” Yoohyeon mumbled, locking the door behind her.

“Sit down.” Handong sighed as you barely noticed she had been waiting in the lobby.

You felt your heart rate pick up, seeing Handong, who was refilling some of the med-kits in case of an emergency. And despite not being a doctor, she sure seemed to know what she was doing.

“Why? I’m not hurt.” You chuckled. Handong looked up, noticing you were telling the truth. She gave you a suspicious look, closing the last med-kit.

“Oh… Are you sick?” Handong asked, still suspicious. You smiled, “I’m fine, Handong.”

Handong let out a sigh of relief.

“Good. You are way to accident prone to be in an apocalypse.”

With that, you sheepishly laughed. She wasn’t wrong. But you were still alive and haven’t been bitten or scratched once by any of the infected. Even with the mutated infected, you were careful.

Just not with other circumstances, like tripping and falling, falling out of trees, and even running into glass doors.

“I wanted to ask you something.” Handong stood up to stand where you were, gently massaging her hands.

“What is it?” You asked.

“Do you mind going on a supply run with me? Yoobin is still recovering from the cold she had. That’s why I offered to go.” Handong dropped her arms to her side as she asked. “I also don’t want to go alone.”

“Of course.” You grinned, feeling a wave of excitement and nervousness at the thought of being alone with her. Even if neither of you confessed your feelings for each other, you cherished these moments with her.

You promised yourself you would keep your streak going, even with Handong out of the safe zone.

Especially with Handong with you.

You waited outside with anticipation, part of you felt weird for the excitement you felt, considering the state of the world.

But Handong. The woman you fell for. It almost didn’t seem like the world was in shambles when you were with her.

While waiting outside, you started to think about all the things that could go wrong. A horde could attack— Again.

Or hostiles would show up, and they are much harder to escape than the undead. It felt suspicious that they’ve suddenly went under the radar, despite being everywhere and yet nowhere at all.

“Don’t zone out. You still have a streak to keep up.” Handong startled you out of your thoughts, easing your anxieties about the supply run and its many possibilities of going wrong.

“I will. I will prove to you all that I can come back unscathed.” You flashed her a wide grin, leading the way outside of the barricades.

Handong chuckled, following you. “You’re a dork.”

“I will gladly be your dork any day.” You slowed your pace, turning to see her eyeing you with raised eyebrows of amusement.

It registered what you told her and almost immediately, you felt your cheeks heat up.

“I mean—”

“It’s okay. You can be my dork.” Handong sped up to match your pace, hooking her arm around yours. “Just don’t break your streak.”

You two walked towards the shopping district, taking the route Yoobin described on a piece of paper she slid underneath her room door to Handong prior to the supply run.

It slightly differed from the other routes, but Yoobin was careful. She always said how taking the same route was a guaranteed death sentence.

“It gives the hostiles a chance to learn your routine.” She would add.

“Haven’t been here before.” Handong admired the movie theater in front of her after reaching the end of the alleyway you two traveled through.

The movie theater was across the street from where you stood and looked rundown, but still standing, nonetheless.

“You’ve never seen a movie in a theater before?”

Handong scoffed, shaking her head, “I mean, not to this specific theater… Come on.”

You watched as she jogged towards the main entrance, slightly confused. “What about the supplies?”

“Who’s to say there won’t be supplies inside?”

“Good point.” You sighed, jogging after her. You were both met by a cloud of dust as soon as Handong opened the door, causing you to cough.

“Don’t choke before we can look around.” Handong was coughing as well, but not nearly as much as you were.

Once the dust settled, you were both able to breathe— Although the smell did linger. You started to look around the concession counter, looking for any food that hadn’t expired or rotted while Handong read the titles on the movie posters.

“I haven’t heard of some of these movies.” She commented. You checked the expiration date of a bag of chips, soon realizing that the wet spots on outside of the bag was blood, which you dropped immediately.

“Yeah, I haven’t either.” You mumbled, unintentionally ignoring her as you were too focused on where the source of the blood came from.

Meanwhile, Handong turned in your direction, the sun barely lighting the entrance.

“Are you upset?”

“No,” You pulled out your flashlight, finally turning it on. “I think there might be infected in here with us…”

Handong walked over to where you were and peaked over the counter, immediately retching.

“Found the infected.” She backed off, fanning the air around her. “Already decomposed— Y/N, how can you not smell that?!”

“Nose blind? I’ve lived in many buildings before the hotel. You get used to anything.” You explained, shining the flashlight around the area, giving the two of you a better view of the mess that became of the movie theater.

“I think you have a different definition of nose blind than I do.”

Handong turned on her flashlight a moment later, hitting the side as the light flickered. As you reached for the spare batteries in your backpack, Handong stopped you with a shake of her head.

“Only when these completely die out.” She walked ahead down the corridor where each door led into a different auditorium dedicated to a different movie.

“Since this place is empty, wanna watch a movie? For old times’ sake.” She waited by one of the movie posters that read, ‘Alone in the city’.

While you weren’t entirely convinced that the theater was empty, you didn’t want to pass up this moment with her. Even if there wouldn’t be an actual movie playing.

“If the theater wasn’t empty, they’d have heard us by now.” Handong offered some reassurance. Still unconvinced, you decided to accept her suggestion of ‘watching a movie’.

You two entered the auditorium, seeing the big screen and the mess of popcorn, spilled beverages, and various blood stains around the area accompanied by dead bodies lying around the room with some still being seated in their seats.

“Do you think they are just playing dead?” Handong asked, hesitant on walking further into the auditorium. You let out a sudden— And loud scream which in turn startled Handong, causing her to drop her flashlight.

“Damnit! Why did you do that?” She scolded you in a loud whisper. You held up your hands in defense, pointing towards the dead bodies that didn’t flinch.

“Just making sure.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” Handong muttered, picking up her flashlight as she continued to where the front seats were.

Sitting down in two of the cleanest seats, Handong held her flashlight towards the screen, pretending it were a projector.

“Quick, make something with your hand.” Handong ushered. Off the top of your head, you created what you intended to be a butterfly, and let its shadow dance in front of her flickering flashlight.

Handong smiled, “a butterfly opening a movie. Where have I seen that before?”

You stiffened your hands, pausing the ‘fluttering’ motion of the wings and thought about where you had personally seen a movie open up like that.

“Let’s just imagine out loud,” Handong turned off her flashlight that was already on the last of its battery life. You leaned back in your seat, staring at the screen.

“After the butterfly, it shows a someone riding away on a bike.”

“Okay, now this really sounds familiar.” Handong commented. She was looking directly at you, an amused look on her face.

“The movie poster looked like it would—“

You never got to finish your sentence as it had been interrupted by Handong’s terrified scream as one of the ‘dead’ bodies had grabbed her ankle, pulling her towards its mouth.

Quickly rising to your feet, you stomped onto the infected’s head, momentarily stopping it from sinking it’s teeth into Handong’s ankle.

But then it reanimated and gnashed its teeth hungrily.

And you stomped again, and again, until its head was one gross pile of mush— pieces of brain matter and skull fragments were stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

Not that it concerned you though. Handong’s life was far more important than the mess on the bottom of your shoe.

“Y/N! Duck!” Handong yelled, fumbling for her gun.

“Where?!” You turned around only to be immediately attacked by one of the mutated infected that had the ability to climb on walls and ceilings.

The girls referred to them as ‘crawlers’, but this was your first time meeting one.

Luckily you didn’t have to fend it off too long as Handong shot it point blank in the head before she kicked it off of you.

She helped you up, being a little bit rougher than she intended and pulled you towards the entrance as you saw more crawlers coming out of the shadows around the parts of the room where your flashlight wasn’t aimed toward.

Handong shot at anything and everything to keep the crawlers away from you both until she shoved you into the corridor before slamming the auditorium door shut.

The door wasn’t one with a proper doorknob, though and one of the crawlers swung it open, snarling at Handong.

“Shit! Run!” You widened your eyes at the crawlers mutated features. It lunged to the wall behind Handong and looked directly at you.

You grabbed Handong’s arm and booked it for the entrance to the theater.

Along the way through the dark theater, infected had also come out of their hiding spots, shuffling hungrily towards the two of you.

Once outside, you and Handong pulled the doors shut as the infected began to bang against the glass.

“Find something to jam the handles!” Handong grunted, taking over both doors as she tried her best to keep them closed.

You looked around frantically until your eyes landed on a pipe that was previously torn off.

“Let go!” You yelled, shoving the pipe through the handles as soon as Handong let go. There was a split second where the infected could’ve pushed it open faster.

And thankfully, you were faster.

▾

You thought a lot about the end. Not death, but the end of the apocalypse. How it would end.

If it would end.

Narrowly surviving the theater only made you think about it more and how you longed for everything to go back to the way it used to.

A time when food wasn’t hard to come by and you or the girls wouldn’t have to go out into the world to find remnants of food that hadn’t been looted.

A time where you didn’t have to constantly worry whether or not it would be your last day on this earth, whether you were being forcefully evicted before you had a chance to live.

You walked down the street away from the hotel, following the path Handong took an hour ago when you both got back safely.

She was shaken up after what happened, and understandably so.

But you were worried about her, remembering how in some zombie apocalypse movies there would be that one character that grew distant after an incident like the movie theater.

How it would be revealed that they were distant because they were bitten and didn’t want to turn and hurt someone they loved or cared about.

You tried not to automatically think of the worst-case scenario. But it was hard not to.

You came across a park with a playground, seeing the familiar figure of the woman you’ve been falling for during your stay with her and her group.

Handong sat on a swing, idle as she stared ahead at the ducks at the pond nearby.

“Found the ducks.” You commented, trying to avoid startling her. Handong glanced at you, unaware of what you meant.

“Sorry… I know you wanted to be alone but I came to check on you.” You sat on the swing beside her, watching the ducks with her.

“You saved me.” Handong let go of the chain links connected to the seat of the swing and rested her hands in her lap.

“You saved me too.” You slowly began to swing, keeping your feet against the playground sand.

Handong didn’t seem to pay attention to what you were doing. She did look away from the ducks, however, and you halted your movements, sitting as still as she was.

“Remember when we first met and you were almost bitten?”

You looked over at her, slightly shifting in your swing to face her as well. Handong continued speaking, meeting your eyes.

“I still think of that from time to time. I thought you gave up and that’s why you didn’t seem to struggle against it.”

You thought back to the day you met her, how you were attacked by an infected from the horde. To be completely honest, you did give up back then.

And seeing Handong in a vulnerable state, you decided against telling her.

Handong sighed, looking up at the sky as the clouds covered the sun. “But then when I was grabbed, I wasn’t thinking fast enough because I was terrified. Now I realized how scared you must’ve felt back then, thinking it was over.”

“Are you okay?” You asked. That same worry you had for her on the way to find her never left and only increased the more she spoke like this.

“I’m fine. Life really is precious though… But it could be ripped from you at any moment.” She closed her eyes and you could see the tears well up in her eyes seconds before.

“That’s how it goes. It gives, it takes… You win or you lose, or both. Are you sure you’re okay?” Concern was laced in your tone and you mentally prepared yourself for when she came out and told you something devasting, like ‘I was bitten.’

Something you’ve heard in one of those zombie movies.

But Handong didn’t say that.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

You felt your heart briefly stop and for a split second, you wondered if you were the one that was bitten.

“And I don’t want to die before I can really get to know you.” Handong continued, reaching over to place her hand on top of yours.

Your heart started again only to race out of your chest as the feeling of her hand against yours.

Playing it cool, you reassured her, “You won’t lose me. And I won’t lose you either.”

Handong smiled for the first time since the incident, albeit a weak smile, but it was still a smile.

Without thinking, you leaned forward and kissed her.

[dustbinflower0]

Not a Eugenia Cooney post on how she looks...

I've kind of half-followed EC for years and recently started reading her subreddit.

At first I got some background info on her I hadn't known, that added to some of my understanding of and speculation about her...

And I don't see Eugenia at almost 30 years old as completely without agency or responsibility...

But there seems to be, if not evidence that she was sexually abused or assaulted by someone at some point in her life, than evidence at least that her family is dysfunctional in many ways. That her mother acts like nothing is wrong/actively films her/is lacking boundaries, and that Eugenia has been sheltered and dependent her whole life (has never worked,lived on her own, etc) and has been crippled by that...and that those things need to be held into account when blaming her for her "weird " behavior even beyond her ED. Her baby voice and child-like behavior and way of dressing are more than cognitive issues from starvation; and her sexualized child like behavior from people possibly paying her for certain video content, even if "willing" on her part, can also be effects from trauma and sexual abuse.

When I see posts on reddit for example,angry at her, I can see the frustration with 1) minors accessing her content and 2) the harm of her being so visibly ill while claiming everything is perfectly fine: I still see her in many ways of being a product of past and maybe in some ways current abuse and dysfunction she's not able to escape, as well as of an illness that strips you cognitively, mentally, physically. Her weight is probably the only thing getting her the views she has now, is all anyone will ever talk about. She would have to stay offline to recover and I'm convinced the internet is her only connection to anything outside of her home or relationship with anyone besides her mother.

The same people posting about her, angry and horrified by her posts, make countless threads of thar day's twitch stream, screen shotting, zooming in on, and obsessing about her skeletal figure. Seeming to glorify it just as much as the pro-anas.

It's just such a sad life, and I don't think it will ever seem worthwhile or possible to her to live without her disorder. But I hold out hope that she can choose otherwise.

[nimrochan]

First of all @paint-the-world-you-need-to-see , it’s extremely obvious that the pro-Palestine movement was largely a cover for antisemitism. People only care because of the I/P war’s polarizing nature, and because antisemitism is the world’s oldest form of racism. It is possible to be racist/antisemitic without realizing it. And right now, spreading this misinformation is turning you into a major antisemite. Please read on and learn to be better.

Tell me if you’ve ever seen fervent social media posts or marches for the half a million dead Yemenis, half a million dead Syrians, the Kurdish genocide, the Chinese Muslim genocide, or the 150,000 Sudanese civilians who were killed in the past ten months. Or the 2 million total Sudanese civilian killed in the past ten years of war - that’s the ENTIRE Gaza population.

Because no Jews no news. No one cares if other people in other countries are harmed by their own people or Islamic extremists.

And I would argue that the Pro-Palestine movement has done nothing to help Gazans and just uses them as an excuse to be horrible;

Did you know that antisemitic crimes OUTSIDE of Israel, around the world, went up 300% after 10/07? We got attacked as punishment for…being attacked. Damn it’s almost like people really hate Jews.

I don’t know where you got that 50-100K civilian death count. Nobody knows for sure how many civilians died. Hamas claims 46,000 deaths total. Israel claims it killed about 20,000 (almost half) Hamas militants and other hostile combatants.

That represents an extremely low ratio of civilian to combatant deaths, just under 2:1. The average for urban warfare is 9:1. That’s not to diminish the suffering of innocent Palestinian civilian loss and injury, that’s not to say that every IDF soldier is a perfectly good and noble person, but it shows that the IDF by and large is targeting combatants.

That’s not a “genocidal” war. Genocide is done with intent. 3000 Hamas men killed 1200 Israelis in one day.

In 500 days of war, the IDF with 100x the foot soldiers and more tanks and superior weapons and air space etc. didn’t kill 1200 Gazans a day - that would amount to over half a million people.

If they’re trying to genocide, they’re doing a very bad job of it.

Can you IMAGINE what AMERICA would do in response to a terrorist attack like what Hamas has done? Wait we already know - half a million Iraqis killed after 9/11.

On that note, you mention children getting killed by Israeli strikes - which is no doubt true, and horrible - but we don’t know the true number yet. Because unlike the IDF, Hamas recruits child soldiers. Hamas was also caught changing birthdays on death certificates to falsely increase numbers of dead children, they were caught listing natural deaths as combat deaths, and they were even caught listing Y. Sinwar as a killed woman.

You’re also blaming Israelis for all the terrorist attacks it suffers. Tell me, when women were horrifically raped on 10/07, were they asking for it? This is an extremely ugly, insensitive thing for you to say.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR TERRORISM. Get that through your head. No oppressed people in history ever resorted to terrorism. Not even Jews in Nazi germany - a country that murdered over *1/3rd* of our entire global population.

“Every death since then has been Israel’s choice” no, every death since then has been on Hamas’s hands. They steal Palestinian aid, they use it for rockets and tunnels (and Mrs Sinwar’s $30,000 designer handbag, and luxury hotels in Qatar), they fire rockets from populated areas TO populated areas in Israel, they film the returning rockets hitting the populated area to stop rockets, they go “SEE WHAT ISRAEL DID?! GIVE US MONEY FOR AID.” And they have been doing that same shit for twenty years. They started this war FOR NOTHING.

Israel is one of the most terrorized countries in the world BECAUSE it is Jewish. Hundreds of thousands of Israelis would be dead if not for the Iron Dome and the IDF and the bomb shelters that Israel builds.

My little cousins play at a playground with a long cartoon caterpillar tunnel that doubles as a bomb shelter. I’m wearing a Jewish star made out of Hamas rocket, because they’ve sent us so many goddamn rockets that we’ve started to upcycle them. I want you to fathom that.

We have had EIGHTY YEARS of mass stabbings, mass shootings, suicide bombings, car rammings, mall bombings, cafe bombings, theater bombings, endless rockets etc.

And you bring up ceasefire - Hamas has violated every. Single. Ceasefire. This last one was violated because they refused to return the remaining hostages.

And you also compare them to gangs and *checks note* cops??? What?? You’re comparing them to gangs buying groceries? As some kind of safety net? Again, what? You conveniently forget all the Palestinian civilians Hamas has injured/murdered, all the Yazidi women they’ve raped/enslaved (yet another group of people no one cares enough about, but at least the IDF rescued a few of them).

Hamas attacked Israelis so brutally, they raped women with knives/nails, they butchered babies, they cut babies out of pregnant women, and they burned/blew up people so badly that they needed archeologists to identify some bodies.

Oh I guess we deserve it for *checks note again* the Nakbah… in which the land was split into Israel/Palestine, Jews said yes, but then 6 Arabic countries and Palestinians attacked Israel at once, lost, and then lost land. And this was 80 YEARS AGO. Nobody alive remembers it.

Oh but Palestinian leaders were offered land, FIVE TIMES by Israel, and they said No, we don’t acknowledge you Jews.

And you know who was actually kicked out of their land after thousands of years? EVERY. SINGLE. ARABIC JEW. All 22 Arabic countries kicked us out. Nobody cares about that.

And Israel gave up 75%(!!!!!!!) of its land to Egypt for peace in 1982.

Damn so they suck both at genocide AND at stealing land.

There is so much more misinformation in your post, like I don’t know if I even have the energy to address all that.

There was no Israeli presence or Jews in Gaza since 2005. No soldiers and no “occupation.”Hamas was elected in 2006. Meanwhile there are almost 2 million Israeli Palestinian citizens living within Israel with equal rights and opportunities.

You bring up starvation/lack of medicine and neglect to mention Israel letting in hundreds of aid trucks a day, you neglect to mention Hamas stealing aid and jacking up food prices, and you neglect the fact that Palestinians are often treated in field hospitals propped up by Israel.

I’d encourage you to look up Hitler’s close friend, Mufta Al Husseini. He made it his life mission to smear Israel ever since it was formed. That’s why Arafat appropriated the word “Palestinian” in the 1960’s to refer to Arabs only, when it referred to both Jews and Arabs of the region for thousands of years (bet you didn’t know that). Thats why educated, progressive people default to thinking “Israel = evil colonizers, genocide”. The world is INUNDATED with antizionist hate.

That’s how you get news articles like this, this is how they reported 12 Israeli-Arab kids SLAUGHTERED by Hezbollah, (another terrorist group that has sent so many rockets to northern Israel that much of the land isn’t even farmable anymore for the Druze Arabs who live there);

And social media only makes it worse with targeting algorithms and easily spreadable misinformation.

Reddit is a huge contributor, as one example;

We’ve been oppressed, killed, and exiled in the Middle East since the 7th century;

Yet we try to move on. Israel has never once sent an unprovoked rocket, nor started any war.

You want peace? Stop spreading misinformation that contributes to antisemitism and hate, and call out Islamic extremism that hurts EVERYONE, not just Jews.

there’s only one free palestine movement worth mentioning. it’s the only one with the real potential to actually free palestine from the actual demon holding it captive. today, unlike all the pathetic, attention seeking at most, worldwide demonstrations, the people of gaza found the bravery to actually protest publicly and unmasked, in an attempt to free gaza, their gaza. it was one of those moments that will go down in the history books, that you just know you’re watching history being made. unlike all of the so called “pro palestine” demonstrations worldwide, when the people of gaza risked their lives today to have a voice, they mentioned that who they need to be freed from was actually hamas. their brave protest on the streets of gaza, was very loud and very clear and very much against hamas. not israel, not the IDF, not the west, not the US, not anyone, just Hamas. hamas for ruining their lives, abusing them, tormenting them, constantly risking their lives and holding it captive.

reports say that the protest was possible due to the israeli military presence. hamas’ people didn’t go to terrorize and shut it (and freedom of speech) down, its own people into submission since they were afraid to be spotted by the IDF and eliminated.

yet for some reason so very few have discussed it here. haven’t seen one person that identifies from the “pro palestine” movement mention it. why? because it clashes against that narrative of the palestinian people being those miserable z class people who need their patronizing western saviors to speak for them and save them. i can only imagine how discouraging it can be when you’ve been protesting for so long and BAM they find a voice and direct the blame to literally their own people, their so called ”government”, than simply the jews again.

[multiwreckedmess]

My comfort daydream from when I was high as balls on my flight. Loosely based on a post on reddit i read. Very loosely.

A short (okay maybe not short it's like 2k words) Ateez imagine. SFW/pure comfort but my blog is generally 18+

THIS IS FICTION. FIIIIICTION. I don't know if ateez even FLY first class let's be real! I don't even know how first class works!

CW: Flight anxiety. Alcohol use. OTC-drug use? otherwise it's just comfort.

When you smiled and ordered a long island iced tea at 11am the airport barstaff knew exactly who you were. It was an easy read, from your tense lips to your freshly bleeding cuticles.

An anxious fly-er.

At one point in time flying was easy for you. A carefree fun experience. You don't quite remember when that changed. Just like you don't remember when you went from being the extroverted hyperactive child to the fretful quiet one.

Jello theory, videos of pilots explaining how planes work, meditation, almost anything anyone had brought up to you, you'd tried. Nothing compared to the combination of light medication and a heavy drink to force you into a sleepy state of acceptance.

You had to fly though. You had to if you wanted to see them. Your boys. You'd always dreamed of getting to go to more than one stop on a tour and now with adult money and an inner child that needed healing you were finally making it happen.

Sitting at the gate the heavy blanket of alcohol and benadryl settled in your veins, slowly dragging you down. Anxiety only spiking when they announced a change of planes and your name was called. "I'm so sorry, we've had to bump you from the flight." "Oh. Well that's fine." Your flat response nearly knocking the attendant over in surprise. "You're very lucky, there is one spot left on the next flight out, in a half hour. We've upgraded you free of charge for the hassle." The attendant taps the keyboard as fast as they speak, as though you were a ticking time bomb they needed far away from them. "Cool," under normal circumstances you'd be both elated and terrified. At this point you just wondered if you'd still be awake for boarding.

The vague stress of falling too deeply asleep and missing your flight keeps you teetering between consciousnesses, only passingly aware of a fresh wave of passengers entering the gate. Sliding through the "For You" recommendations absentmindedly, simply enjoying the repetitive motion of the swipe and spike of serotonin it brought your addled brain, you lose track of time just enough to register that the attendant has moved on from your privileged boarding group to the further back economy classes.

Annoyed with yourself, you shrug your bag onto your shoulder and shuffle into the mob of strangers gradually working itself into a line. The slow trudge down the jetbridge feels even worse, as inebriated as you are. Your legs beg for the relief of a chair, no matter how restrictive the position may be. Body listing to the side, partially weighed down by your bag and partially by the tilt of your head, bumble back and forth almost comically until you reach the gap between the extended walkway and the plane, waiting long enough so there is no chance of being caught between the two sides.

The conga line haulted momentarily the nearby flight attendant meets your vacant gaze and her eyes crinkle to smile at you over her mask. "Welcome aboard! How are you this afternoon?" She chirps. "It's my first time in first class!" You reply and immediately feel stupid. You curse yourself silently as she tilts her head, brows furrowing. "Oh excited?" "Er, I guess? Yes!" You pray that the stupor allows you to black out the whole episode. You can't blame her for trying to make conversation but at this point you're nearly hopeless. Escaping at the corner turn you just want to sit down when you are met by a sight you never thought you'd see in your life.

Ateez. You spot Yunho first. He's easy to spot, heads taller than everyone else you've seen today. Staring straight at you from his seat next to Jongho from under his bucket hat you lock eyes with him. You barely register San or the manager also staring. The rest take no mind. Hongjoong,Yeosang, and Mingi are silent with their eyes closed and head against the cushioned headrests. Wooyoung happily chatting away with Seonghwa. Jongho scrolling on his phone.

Your first reaction is to turn around and walk out of the plane. The slow conga line of people building up behind you prevents that. Your second is to put your brain into manual mode. What speed is a natural walking speed? How am I going to do this and fly all at once? Is there enough benedryl in my bag to sedate me long enough? Your knees feel like jello and feet like lead as you trudge perhaps the longest 10 feet of your life to your window seat, next to the manager.

"Need help with that?" A burly impatient man behind you asks as he watches you eye the distance from your luggage to the overhead bin. Silently you nod your head before he lifts it and shoves the rollarbag in with ease. With a brief exchange of nods you indicate to the manager your seat is next to his.

He eyes you up and down. For a moment you think "this is it, I've made them uncomfortable, I'm going to be kicked off the plane again." All the doomsday scenarios scroll past your mind. Barred from concerts, fansigns, within a 30 block radius. Instead he shuffles out to make room for you to slouch and toss your backpack into your seat ahead of you. You think you've totally escaped as you watch the bag land in the seat to suddenly and violently realize that you'd used Wooyoung's birthday merch. A simple black bag yes, but embroidered with a telltale 1126 on the side. Just enough for the eagle eyes of the manager to catch.

And you know he caught it as you slip into your chair. His stiffened body language tells you as much. Slinking down into the cushions you just want to disappear. Snapping your belt tightly across your lap and turning the volume of your headphones up. It was a nightmare you never dreamed could exist. Regrettably sobered up, hyper aware of each movement you make, you consider if maybe you'd overdosed at the airport bar and experienced the path from purgatory to hell. As you cower in your seat you assume any conversation that happens between the boys and their manager is about you, and you wouldn't be entirely wrong as each ones eyes flit to you.

But you aren't ejected from the plane, or asked to move. Instead the boarding door closes and the plane pulls away from the terminal. The clear and obvious terror in your eyes giving you an unsettled pass from the team. That's when you're faced with the reality of reality. You're going to have to rough it through take off with little to no sedation and no distractions. The engines spin up along with you pulse. So you return to the old techniques you'd tried.

Speeding down the run way with your knuckles white on your armrest you count down from ten. A pilot had once said the first ten second and last ten second of flight were the most dangerous. You had no idea how true or false this was but anything to help ease your mind. The plane lifts as you reach five, bumping up as you hurtle into the clouds. Their manager glances sideways at you, with your body wrenched toward the window, face pressed to the glass. For some reason you had to watch the takeoff and landing, no matter what. As though if your constant vigilance was the only thing keeping the plane from certain disaster.

Of course everything goes fine. It's a routine takeoff.

The plane levels off and service starts, the attendant quietly asking those who are awake what they want to drink first. You ask for a vodka cranberry and down the tiny bottle handed to you with the mixer to chase.

You can't help but feel apprehensive eyes on you. Trying your best not to return the looks despite the clear burn of their gaze. The alcohol takes some edge off but not enough to knock you out, which is what you really need. Slumping to the side you attempt closing your eyes nonchalantly and returning to your normal flight routine but the air has other plans.

A small ping jolts you up.

"This is your captain speaking-"

You dread this every flight.

"-some slight turbulence has been reported up ahead I've turned the fasten seatbelt sign on-"

You breathe deeply and try to envision the plane in jello. Or on a rollercoaster track. or a bumpy road. Literally anywhere but ten thousand fucking feet in the air.

The first bump hits and you whimper. Audibly. The manager can't help the look he gives you, you know this. The second bump has your elbows locked into your arm rests, body straight upright. Your knee bounces. You cannot freak out in front of your favorite kpop group. Not about them and certainly not about dying in an imaginary plane crash.

The third bump hits and you whimper again. Truly these bumps are small, not enough for the captain to call for the attendants to use the jumpseats, you bargin with yourself. If there were truly rough skies he'd tell them to sit down in those. You know this. Turbulence is mostly inconvenient rather than dangerous. Uncomfortable, not deadly.

"Hyung-" the unmistakable soft voice of San calls to the manager. You don't understand their short discussion but whatever it was, the manager unbuckles himself and shifts into the aisle, leaving the seat next to you momentarily empty only to be occupied by the built frame of Choi San. "Atiny?" He calls to you in a sing song voice, eyes searching your face for recognition.

You meep back at him with a swift nod. It's all your vocal chords can handle.

"You know, you don't need to be afraid," his gaze steady on you, "I fly a lot and it's just -" Another bump hits and your eyes close, brows furrowing, as your chest shudders inwards. Don't cry, you remind yourself, it's just bumps, it's just a man, it's just flying. A warm hand encases your clammy one fixed to the seat. Slowly peeling your fingers away and into his, San holds your palm in his, his thumb running over the back of your hand in soothing circles. "My atiny, I'm right here okay? I'm with you so you don't need to be scared." "Is this-okay?" You glance around his shoulders, their width making it obvious that you're looking for their manager who is watching the two of you like a hawk in San's former seat. San slides your hands down into the seats. "I might be in trouble but, it's okay. You're my atiny. I can't- you- I will comfort you."

There's a sparkle in his eye, unmistakable and delusion conjuring. The charm that makes so many fall in love with him on stage, full blast in your face. It melts you momentarily before the plane jostles slightly to the side, swooping with your stomach and tightening your hand in his. San's shoulders shake with a small giggle. "Cute. Please, breathe, and relax. I'm here. It's okay. I'm right here my atiny. Don't worry."

His voice soothing your slowly paired with the firm pressure of his thumb, sleep comes to drag your eyelids down. Even as your hand relaxes he holds you in his in case of turbulence. Gently supporting you as you drift together in the air.

[5ummit]

I’ve seen a lot of people on my original Censorship Nightmare PSA insisting that Apple is solely to blame for the recent tag ban fiasco and to please not get mad at tumblr uwu. And while this sentiment is mostly correct, I do take issue with it, particularly as a content creator.

Yes, The Ban would almost certainly not have happened at all if it weren’t for Apple’s insanely restrictive app guidelines. As explained in this post from someone who’s personally familiar with Apple’s ridiculous app approval process, it’s pretty clear from what we know that tumblr was probably backed into a corner and The Ban was a hastily thrown together bandaid solution to keep the app from being yanked from the app store right before everyone left for the holidays until a better longterm solution could be developed. I’m sure tumblr did not want this any more than we did.

However, while the situation tumblr found themselves in was absolutely Apple’s fault, the way it was handled rests entirely on tumblr.

I do not know how the banned tags were chosen, but what I can guarantee is that Apple did not hand tumblr a list with tags like “mine” and “reblog” and “my gif” on it and force tumblr to ban them. Apple told them the app was rejected along with the reason why (because NSFW content was found by whoever happened to review it that day) and it was up to tumblr to come up with and implement a solution to fix the “issue” before the app removal deadline.

Now a temporary ban on “sensitive content” tags in and of itself is not a terrible stopgap solution given the circumstances, and it could’ve been implemented in such a way that 99.9% of users were never affected by it at all (this is not me endorsing or approving of this solution btw, I think I’ve made my feelings on censorship pretty clear in previous posts). The Big Problem of course is the particular tags that were chosen.

There are many theories floating around about where The List came from given how absurd many of them are. As I’ve mentioned before, my personal theory is that a bunch of flagged blogs were scraped and all of their commonly used tags were dumped into a “banned tags” database. Regardless of the actual method though, what’s clear to anyone with half a brain is that no real human being was involved in picking these out. And herein lies the problem.

I get that this solution was probably hastily thrown together at the last minute by some overworked underpaid engineers on a very tight deadline. I get that. And using some sort of algorithm to assemble The List is not only perfectly acceptable, it's what should be done since it would be very hard for someone to know all of the common NSFW tags that may be used off the top of their head. However, on a platform like this with millions of users whose posts would potentially be blocked entirely from searches and their own followers depending on the tags chosen, there is no excuse for why there wasn’t even a cursory glance at The List from a real person at any point in the process. It would literally take 2 seconds to see that many of these words do NOT belong and that maybe a mistake had been made somewhere.

Absolutely the people who were hit the hardest and suffered the most from this disaster of an update were the very people whom tumblr relies on to bring users to their site at all: content creators. Engagement on this hellsite is already such a demoralizing struggle most days, but to significantly reduce the viewers of our content even further by blocking 80% of the common content creation tags (along with many other common tags) from both searches and dashboards? Unconscionable. And for what? It doesn’t even gain them anything. The vast vast majority of the posts tagged with “my gif” are completely innocuous and would not be cause for Apple to reject the app in the first place.

Not only that, but it’s not like an Apple-approved workaround for NSFW content hasn’t already existed for months, if not years. All of those sites (Twitter, Reddit, Discord) that cause everyone to wonder why their apps are able to remain on the app store when they have even more NSFW content than tumblr? They use the same toggle solution that tumblr is supposedly developing.

It would be one thing if the NSFW issue was a recent change in policy sprung on tumblr at the last minute (in which case I would be much more lenient in my judgement), but Apple’s strict guidelines are not new and have been a perennial thorn in tumblr’s side, supposedly resulting in multiple app rejections in the past. The latest app rejection that prompted The Ban was not an unforeseen event and they had plenty of time to preemptively implement the toggle solution, or something similar, before circumstances forced their hand.

Through their laziness and incompetence, tumblr actually ended up doing way more harm than any good that may’ve resulted from the app being allowed to stay in the app store until a better solution could be implemented. Remember, even if an app is removed from the store, anyone who already has the app downloaded will still be able to use it with no interruption to their experience – only new users wouldn’t be able to download it. And now, since it’s the holidays and nobody is working, we’re stuck with this horrible situation until the promised fix is finally implemented (with no timeline given yet).

So yes, blame Apple and their shitty policies and their incomprehensible app approval process. But don’t you dare let tumblr off the hook for this either.