#I did actually screenshot one of their messages to answer later if I feel like it.

[wanderingaldecaldo]

An open letter to the Cyberpunk fandom in general, and a few people in particular

It’s time to clear the air, and I want to take responsibility where appropriate.

Before we get into the recent drama, a history lesson is in order, both for the newer people in fandom and for those who have been around and just haven’t heard things from my side. This might be long with all the linked posts, so buckle up.

I don’t talk much to people about my experiences in fandom for several reasons — first, I don’t like to talk about others with people I don’t know; gossiping with friends is one thing, but otherwise it’s an undesirable trait. Because I’m human and fallible and absolutely capable of failing to meet my own standards, I have violated that rule, and it rarely does anything good. Second, even when I do share, people don’t tend to believe me because the responsible party, PinkyDude (PKD), has been “so nice” to them. “Surely there was a misunderstanding” is the most common response. 

No, there’s been no misunderstanding. He has harassed me repeatedly, both directly and indirectly, and has deleted most of the posts he’s made or reblogged from his friends/mutuals/followers that would serve as proof of this harassment. I could dig up old screenshots that people sent or I saved myself after being told of a post’s existence, but honestly I don’t want to go through that dreck again; my mental health is worth more to me than that. Instead I’ll present in my own words what happened to me over the last three years. I have spoken publicly about him three times before now — four if you count my response to the anon, which never referenced him or his ship. All of those posts are still visible and will be linked. I told you this would be a long read, but you need the context.

I joined Tumblr in spring/early 2021, back when I only wrote fic and played on console. PKD blocked me the first time I posted my fic, as is his right. As I was new to Tumblr, I didn’t understand the Tumblr app was actually telling me I was blocked whenever I clicked on the links on Discord, so I thought it was just bad software. Spoiler: it’s still bad software (affectionate). When I found out I was blocked, I was upset; I didn’t know about RSD at the time. I sent one anon asking why he blocked people; I was just a lowly AO3 author and he was the big, popular modder, and I was baffled and very upset and should have closed the browser, to be honest. He answered and explained why he blocked people (totally valid!! I will continue to emphasize that!) and shared how blocked people could still view his blog in a number of ways. Honestly, it was too much work for me to go through all of those steps, so I moved on with my life.

Not long after, he did unblock me for a few weeks and posted how someone had shown him how to filter posts. He messaged me to tell me I was unblocked, and we exchanged a few courteous messages. I believe I asked if it would be okay if I followed him. I know he expressed concern about me feeling discomfort at his ship. I don’t remember my exact response but I said I thought they were cute. That was the whole point of me joining fandom — I want to share love for blorbos! Things were civil, as far as I knew, though based on his comments later, it seems he and I had two completely different experiences. Where I believed I was polite and tried to be respectful to someone who had established boundaries, he accused me of being spiteful and vengeful. Soon after I started taking my own VP (with Mitch) he blocked me again. He sent a message to apologize that he needed to do it, and made a vague post that was directed to me, I assume, as it was something like “Sorry I tried” or whatever, and I moved on with my life, or tried. I still saw his Mitch pics in Discord servers when people shared them, though I saw fewer that were just Mitch alone.

The first time I spoke about PKD was Fall 2021, during the “not PKD approved” debacle, where someone (a follower of his! Not my follower! I cannot stress that enough!) reblogged a gif of Val and Mitch with the tag “not PKD approved.” I shared a screenshot with friends because, uh, that’s what you do, right? That’s what anyone would do — share a screenshot of an offensive tag with friends. One of those friends, a writer who had published Mitch/V on AO3 and also received anon hate on their Mitch fics, thought it was funny and used it for their Discord status. Someone shared that status with PKD, and he made vague accusations about who started the hashtag. 

I publicly defended a person who thought they were being accused, a friend at the time, and made the only statement about him that I regret and would take back — I commented on his propensity for reblogging posts that emphasize having the right to block people. I shouldn’t have said that, it wasn’t appropriate, and I apologize. Of course everyone has the right to block people for whatever reason they want. I disagree with what I said then and retract it now. 

Back to how I was targeted... Remember that it was my post that someone tagged with another person’s name; another person who had me blocked because of their jealousy about seeing anyone else with Mitch. I never named the person who tagged my post, yet I was deemed the perpetrator. Many months later, Zwei DMed me when we shared a small server to offer the most non-apology apology ever for telling people that I started the hashtag. Thanks, Zwei! Almost makes up for the other lies you told about me!

The second time was my response to the anon I got trying to “educate” me after the Pawel stream. I never referenced PKD or his ship. We’ll come back to this more in-depth later because it’s what PKD keeps using to harass me.

The third time I spoke publicly about PKD was when Silvay (sp?) posted first on Twitter, then later Tumblr. I posted a follow up the next day. I debated not saying anything. I’m an avoidant person. I don’t like conflict. I have a loud bark and no bite. My former team members can attest to this. But when I do... I don’t make public statements I’m not willing to defend, which is why everything I have linked is still published.

I do recommend stopping to read the posts linked here, and even the other posts I reblogged at the time from other people who shared their own experiences with PKD and the fandom. As I said, I don’t make public statements I won’t defend; or at least apologize and issue a public retraction. But, if you want to stay with the present and would rather have the TL;DR: I was regularly vagued about by PKD or his friends/followers, calling me transphobic and homophobic; one accused me of corrective rape; and I got tired of it.

I thought that posting publicly might bring some closure. It was cathartic to finally get it out and stop carrying that shame, and it was reassuring to hear from people who had similar experiences. At the same time, quite a few people made their own posts along the lines of “HE WAS ALWAYS NICE TO ME”. 

Oh, but he’s always been nice to me!

Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you truly believe he would be nice to you if you shipped with Mitch. Do you really believe he would? Do you think he would “block and move on” with you, unlike how he did with me?

None of those people shipped with Mitch, or other characters that people in his clique were protective over. A few months later he made a post saying not to tag me with him, and listed off every screenname I had used since I joined fandom, including the very first tumblr name I was assigned in 2021 and kept for several months because I thought it was funny. How’s that for a dog whistle? Want PKD’s attention? Better not tag wash!! [I’m sure there’s a screenshot somewhere but again, I didn’t have the energy to find it.]

By the way, why do I know all this? If I’m blocked, I shouldn’t see anything he posts without circumventing “the system”. We are mutually blocked and I don’t spy on him, or have my friends spy on him. I always knew what was going on because people were always quick to let me know anytime he was vaguing about me. “Friends” who were really concerned about the latest thing he said about me, or thought it was just terrible how people were always attacking my ship and wanted to share that feeling with me, but they only shared those thoughts in private. Slowly I separated myself from people who felt the need to keep me updated on drama, or some of them separated themselves from me and became friends with PKD, to the point that either nothing happened for some time or I just stopped seeing it, at least until last fall.

The last time I talked about him publicly was when I wrote about Fem V Friday in Fall 2023. Through the usual chain of vague posting about vague posts, a third person wrote a vague post and cast aspersions on the origin of Fem V Friday, suggesting it was created out of jealousy. PKD helpfully weighed in about a person named “W”  starting FVF from jealousy and spite, and implied he’s seen things I’ve said about him. I’d love to know what I’ve said, the context in which it was said, and the context in which he was told about what I said. 🤷

My post in response didn’t reference the vague post that spurred its creation, nor what PKD said about me, even though PKD must know my intentions and history better than me. I wrote about my love for Fem V and what drove my continued involvement week to week.

Despite my attempts to keep to my own corner or defend my name, PKD continues to defame and harass me. He has repeatedly dragged other people into his drama, sometimes my friends, just as he did in May when he brought up my anon response again. 

It was over two years ago now that I received the anon to “educate” me on Mitch being gay. I have never believed PKD sent the anon, despite his implications, and I have certainly never told anyone that he did.

Two years ago, a coward came into my inbox on anon and tried to bully me, and instead of spending a day writing five thousand words on “death of the author” and what constitutes canon and refuting the argument that I didn’t want to have, I used that energy to write about my ship in my favorite genre (smut) and published a fic on AO3. Neither my fic nor my response on tumblr referenced Mitch being gay or PKD’s ship. Before we go further, I encourage you to watch the relevant clip from the Pawel stream. It’s only 30 seconds of your time, but those 30 seconds are what PKD and others have used to justify their harassment of me.

The transcript for anyone not inclined to watch:

PKD: Am I right to overanalyze every detail in every place like the gay romance novel in Mitch's tent? Is that intentional? Pawel: My friend, on this stream, you could have learned already that everything is intentional...

The “gay romance novel in Mitch’s tent” is 1000 Beats Per Minute, a shard found all across Night City, nay, the continent as the shard/prop can be found in such locations as All Foods just after you meet Dum Dum, the foot of V’s bed in A10, and So Mi’s Brooklyn apartment. 

The contents of the shard are worth reading, if only for recognizing that the narrator is an ungendered person named “Alex” who is experiencing love for a man for the first time. Is Alex a man or a woman or neither? Whoever they are, Alex is having a queer experience, and to insist that the shard can only be about gay men is to erase a lot of other queer experiences.

Back to my anon response, PKD once again called my response transphobic and homophobic, though I will give him credit for saying he wasn’t calling me trans/homophobic, which is an upgrade from previous posts. He claims that I used the smut that I wrote as my response because I referenced writing “the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could”. I said “pussy eating” not in relation to anything about the claim that Mitch is gay, but as response to the intentions of the anon, which were never good.

The full context of my words: 

Not entirely sure what you were trying to accomplish with this message, anon. Should I pack up my words and keyboard and go home? See if it's too late to return my gaming PC because I can't take screenshots of Mitch anymore? Whatever your goal was, you pushed me to write the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could imagine. You know who wins today? - I do, because I wrote a shitload of words in one day and finished a piece that didn't even exist 8hrs ago - people who want more Fem V/Mitch content do - my meat husband does bc damn, I wrote 1800 words of smut today - not you

PKD is claiming that my description of smut I wrote about my ship is trans/homophobic.

The description of the smut I wrote about a cis bisexual female (Val) whose pussy was eaten by her cis bisexual male partner (Mitch). 

The smut I wrote about my ship, in which no one is trans or gay. 

You cannot apply the lens of PKD’s ship and characters to my writing and call it transphobic or homophobic. That’s not how literary analysis works. That’s not how social justice works.

The truth is that PKD and his mutuals/friends used his ship and beliefs to harass me. 

If that were me and it were my beliefs being used to harass someone on anon, I would demand whoever it was to stop immediately, not only because harassing people over fictional characters is awful and wrong, but good lord, to use me as the excuse? I would be mortified! Instead, PKD and his mutuals/followers used it as evidence of my being a bad person, and after several months of that, I borrowed Silvay’s courage when he posted on Twitter, and shared my own experience.

Now that we have the full background, let’s move on to recent drama and address the Flat Chest body and the wearable pecs mod, and what part I played in the process and when. This next part is for motherherbivore. I wish you had talked to me first. I thought I’d rate high enough for a DM. 

A Brief History of The Flat Chest Body Under Curation of Wash

I reached out to Na in March about helping update the Flat Chest body. I specifically wanted to update it to dynamic to take advantage of AXL’s dynamic clothing and, more importantly to me, reduce the number of clothing overrides I had to install for Hilary; plus I wanted to add toggle feet so I could have better options for shoes. Also I had another OC I’d been kicking around in my head, Grem, that I wanted to make using the flat chest. Grem did debut recently, but he changed drastically from my original vision for him.

Sharing the news with Kitty (shared with permission)

I started working on updating the mod in April but got stuck because I didn’t understand resource patching, even though I was sure it would be easy. :hidethepain: I tried adding the feet too, but everything I did resulted in a seam at the calves. As is all too common with my ADHD, I moved onto something else after getting stuck.

As I mentioned I was interested in dynamic AXL, and wanted to update my custom tee framework for Pride. With dynamic AXL, someone could generate all colors with all logos at once! (220, do not try this at home!) I included the dynamic version of the Flat Chest mesh in the upload to Nexus, even though the Flat Chest body wasn’t ready yet, but as a goal for me to also have it done in June.

I had the UV version working in early June, before the Angel body came out. I don’t remember if we already knew about the body’s existence at that point, but the community outcry against yet another unrealistic and fetishistic body mod sustained me in updating a mod that appealed to a small subset of fandom.

The message I sent to Na the morning I got it working

I got the UV version working first, since that’s what Hilary uses, then took a look at toggle feet again. After further investigation using both UV and VTK bodies, I realized there would always be a seam because the bodies were drastically different from the current body; they were completely different meshes underneath, and the seams would never line up properly. 

At that point I decided to release the functioning dynamic version without toggle feet, as I wanted to get it out for Pride. I reached out to mhb to test, as had always been my intention. For me Sanctuary is the most iconic OC to use the Flat Chest. After some technical difficulties I figured out that she used the vanilla version, and came back a few days later with a functioning vanilla version. I released my update once I had assembled the necessary files and pics from the testers, mhb included.

Later when PKD released the refits for his pecs, someone commented that the vanilla refits worked for the Flat Chest body. That’s been my only interest in his pecs mod — because people who use the Flat Chest were interested in having more clothing options. The release of the so-called “Flat Chest Detector” meant that Flat Chest body users wouldn’t be able to use the clothing refit for his wearable pecs, because it required using his pecs, which clipped with tattoos and cyberware — as is expected because it’s not a body mod, as he himself said on the mod page.

As the representative for the Flat Chest body, I agreed when streetkid-named-desire (Rat) asked me to be involved in the conversation with Berdagon about adapting their “Flat Chest” detector to recognize the Flat Chest body. Rat drove this conversation. I don’t say this to dump responsibility on them. In fact, I visited them last weekend and we talked through the situation. I suggested to Rat that I could have urged them to slow down, but they refused to let me take that responsibility, and at the end of the day they’re right — I can only control my own actions.

I do have one regret and one opportunity where I could have acted differently: when Rat asked Berdagon about the original script, Rat very explicitly asked whether the script was commissioned by PKD, and if so, Rat stated they were willing to pay to make changes; Berdagon never answered the question, and I wish I had pushed for an answer. Perhaps that could have prevented the entire situation; we could have stopped right then. While Berdagon never mentioned payment, Rat was so excited by how quickly they implemented the requested changes that they tipped them for the work.

Berdagon, the original script writer, owed PKD the responsibility to check in before modifying something that PKD paid for. Yes, Berdagon does have responsibility here as a professional who took money for a commission. When they didn’t answer the question, I could have stopped the process and pushed for an answer. I would have stopped things immediately upon hearing the answer that the script had been commissioned by PKD. PKD could still have been outraged at Rat asking for changes, but there wouldn’t have been fandom-wide drama about a body that only a dozen people use.

That’s the responsibility I will take — I, as a professional who works with consultants and freelancers, could have taken steps to ensure that everyone was acting professionally, including the person who received money twice to work on the same script.

Because I feel the need to be thorough in my explanation, here’s a simplified timeline of the release of the Flat Chest mod compared to the wearable pecs:

Late March - I receive files from Na for Flat Chest

April - I get stuck, stop working on it

April-May - I figure out dynamic AXL and convert tee framework

June 3 - I have a working dynamic UV Flat Chest

In response to outcry over the Angel body, PKD makes a poll asking what body types people want refits for and excludes Flat Chest body as an option

In response to people commenting over why Flat Chest wasn’t included, PKD explains he won’t support the body and that he would support a different Flat Chest body if someone made it

June 10 - I share the UV version for testing with several people. Two of those people, including mhb, use vanilla. I didn’t realize that, and because I didn’t name the file `UV` it took a long time to troubleshoot why things weren’t working

PKD releases the pecs

I share vanilla for testing

I post Flat Chest 2.0 before the end of June

I didn’t use you, mhb. I asked you to test because, like I said above and on Nexus, Sanctuary is the Flat Chest character for me. I asked you to test because I make mods for my friends first and foremost, and I thought you were my friend. I thought you were my friend because we’d known each other for several years now, and because of shared experiences and conversations we’ve had. I’ve been wrong before about who is a friend, and this one stings a lot.

I’m tired. I am 30 or 40 (or 50) years old and I do not need this. I have a career and a job I love, and an amazing partner who I’ve been with for a third of my life now. I have friends and hobbies in meatspace and friends who share those hobbies, and the real truth is, if I was actually trans/homophobic, well, that number would be tiny, but it’s not. I have a life that I love and that is full of joy. Most people in fandom only know the smallest fraction of the real wash, and I do not take pleasure in being targeted in a public fandom “feud”.

PKD, I say this with all the kindness I can muster for another human being who is clearly hurting: please get help. Go to therapy or see a psychiatrist or use whatever tools you can access. This obsession you have with me and my ship is not healthy for you, and your repeated pattern of bullying has hurt me and people close to me, just as your need to rehash old fandom drama hurts the community.

[foressfaction]

Don’t send hate or harass ANYONE in these pictures on ANY side or for ANY reasons.

THIS IS A REPOST OF MY STATEMENT REGARDING THE BLOOD.PLAGUE ALLEGATIONS. It wasn’t being seen through my reblog.

Also please stop DMing Seirei, me, and my friend mentioned in this post. We’re all stressed and just trying to understand things as so much is being spread right now.

Simply, the only reason for this being the screenshots of stuff I have personal experience with. And some stuff he has said about it. I believe Plague has explained himself enough multiple times. It’s all the same story and same defense. So I can’t-declare if any of it is straight excuses or actually what happened. He knows what goes on more in his server and behind the scenes if anything so if it is all a lie. He’s the only one who will know that.

I’m gonna mainly talk about my experience now? It’s not too bad as not gonna lie we barely talked and I think I just might know why. I heavily enjoy ticcijack and he very openly does not. As you can probably see in the message showing how he spoke about me. He didn’t follow back cause of that and chose to overall avoid me at first which COMPLETELY VALID!! If you don’t like content someone posts then you don’t have to follow or like them!! So this was all fine. However during DMS with him he was thankful that I wasn’t “toxic” when I said it was okay that he didn’t like the ship. And I find how ironic that he would still go and talk crap about it to his friends in a private GC. I never hated on his OC X canon ship in fact I thought it was cute and I was interested in the book he was writing and his content. But after that blatant disrespect I lost all respect for him as a person. That was just the starting point as the whole server I was in (I’ll get more into that) was slowly becoming filled FILLED with KIDS! like it’s okay to be a minor and join someone you enjoy’s server and have fun but some stuff being said in there belonged in an 18+ channel ATLEAST.

Plague as already explained this and well I can’t argue with that as it is HIS side and HIS defense so it’s all up to how he takes this. I don’t have personal experience with what he did with others or if any minors were dmed (comfortable or not I don’t think an adult should speak that way to a minor even if that minor says it’s okay…that’s still not right and will forever be on the ADULT if anything comes out)

About Plague: I don’t hate him, I think he just has a lot of learning to do. He makes dark humor jokes and that’s alright but in the end some people will not be alright with that. It should be more clear in your server who is and who isn’t a KID. For some reason I don’t remember the age roles being a thing when I was in the server but I could be wrong.. and despite that there’s almost 1k members in that server.. 500 are minors and a whopping 100!!! Are adults. WOAH. that means a whole third of the server don’t even have an age role. Basing if it’s anything like my community on tiktok it can range from 10-16 year olds! It’s not okay. I’m not saying he’s a pedo as I think that’s pushing it and there’s no active evidence that he sexted or was being very vulgar with a minor just yet and I hope there won’t be. As everyone else was sharing their experience I would as well. Plague has problems that stretch beyond the surface and he’s said this. Mental health can make u not think, can make u do stuff you’ll regret and be held against for. I’m taking that into consideration too when reading everything. I used that excuse to wash what he said about me under the rug cause let’s be real it wasn’t that bad I’ve heard worse.

Plague shares almost the same authority as me however. And people need to be aware on what he’s currently doing that can potentially be bad or upsetting. The way he talked alone made me feel very weird. He was kind to me, helped me with my server, answered questions. We had small talk and overall my personal experience with him wasn’t ill intentioned, but later down the road when I met a good friend once again through his server that I have been on and off with since 2020 is when he started to suddenly not like me.

Not gonna name drop due to them not wanting their name in it more than it already is but I already knew them since again, 2020. Met them again through his server and we sorta just clicked again and we made gcs and played Roblox, mindless friendly things. Apparently this bothered Plague to the point of straight up malice. They were also good friends with Plague, being a mod. They told him about the SA and yes, called themselves a wh*re as a joke but they told me plague knew about the SA and proceeded to joke about it and started to make my friend VERY uncomfortable. They have bad confrontational issues and don’t know how to say no and set clear boundaries. Which is why they stayed friends with him for longer than they felt comfortable with. He was sexual towards them (both adults thankfully) They were worried that he was spreading that they “slept with a lot of people” to others when they indeed never did any of that and that the fact that Plague even thought that was very scary. Plague treated them like a toy, didn’t want anyone else talking to them but wouldn’t even really talk to them himself. Due to this my friend was very upset and didn’t know where the relationship stood. Plague actually asked them out while drunk one night and made them spiral due to not knowing what to say or feel. He offered to fake date and they agreed. This whole time he blew off calls, didn’t respond to messages. And when they did call it was all flirty small talk or questions that they didn’t know the answer to yet. I was there being their backbone for all of it, me and another friend who sent that anonymous post that’s in one of the screenshots mentioning them being called a wh*ore and the SA stuff.

My friend never could get their side out cause they’re scared and I don’t blame them. They don’t like drama. I don’t like drama. But sadly we are part of this and it’s important to share the sides.

The whole thing is, we know how Plague speaks about people when he doesn’t like them. It’s bad, but we can blame it on anger at the end of the day anyways right? There’s always something we can blame it on other than ourselves. It’s okay to learn and grow. No one should HATE Plague. It’s all about personal preference on who to believe or on who to understand better. His explanations so far are explained. I don’t know the other end of those. I only know what I and a friend have experienced. I KNOW there’s more I just cannot think straight to remember it all.

I strongly agree that this is what started it all, this screenshot was sent anonymously to the server I’m still not sure who. But it’s about me. (Shocker) did it hurt my feelings? Sorta. But I got over it quick. I have 40k followers I’m used to far worse. But this wasn’t the first time he’s spoken of me. Again i was friends with a mod who’s mentioned to me that he would very subtly hate. Talked about the ship I enjoyed in such a nasty way. Said how it wasn’t accurate. He would assume I’m not who I say I am for how I portray i am. I obviously know I’m not the character but I’m comfortable identifying as it online as that’s what I prefer. The immediate ick I got after reading that was indescribable. Again, I still don’t blame him as you can straight up not like someone, I don’t expect everyone to swoon over me/lh but I was indeed caught off guard.

I saw plague as another adult role model for the fandom and of course wanted to see what his fan base was like and join it as another content creator. Other very popular artists and content creators are in his server too. Doing this kind of stuff while having such a big influence is so low. He said he stopped with the alcohol flaunting when more minors joined but in the end he shouldn’t have done it at all. Minors or not, he has a big platform with so many younger and older followers. Some of which probably romanticize drinking cause their role model cosplayer adult friend does it and it looks cool in videos. Which he drinks in videos too by the way. (Not sure if he does anymore as I haven’t seen a video from him since the discord incident) Like we get it. He’s an alcoholic but even I thought and assumed he was romanticizing it.

Plague did apologize to me. He apologized about what he said and I accepted it. Now I don’t forgive him. But I forget. It’s not that serious to me as I’ve been through worse IRL. a victim of severe bullying. It hurt my feelings but only cause I saw him as an influencer. I mean who knows how the other people in that GC thought about me as well? I’m not sure how much shit he talked about me or anyone else. I was assured by him that it wasn’t more than that and that no one else really cared but I have anxiety and that shit bothers me. This whole situation only reminded me and I wasn’t gonna say anything till my friend was brought up again. I don’t want any misinformation to be spread .

Also for more proof I can make and provide posts with pictures too about the apology and stuff but I didn’t wanna clog up my blog with more than it already is. If people won’t take my word then I will but I won’t at the moment.

About the server: Everyone in there were so sweet and welcoming. I would post my cosplays and art in there. I never posted ticcijack art or mentioned it at all yet “ I talked about it all the time” I was already mutuals with a lot of people in there as well share fan bases for similar content. There were alot of minors and jokes were still being made. I didn’t read much but even other members who were adults would crack odd jokes. Not just Plague. I don’t know who I just remember them all collectively matching Plagues personality and energy which is so worrying. It’s okay to have a role model and someone you look up to but the influence you have Plague is too big for what you accidentally encourage intentional or not. I even saw it.

I left the server shortly after that screenshot was sent cause I was immediately thrown into a bad light and I felt so unbelievably unwelcome as I started to feel that way the more my friend told me about what plague says sometimes. Part of me believes it’s cause I’m another Toby fict kin/cosplayer and that sorta hurts as I used to have a problem with doubles as well till I got over it quickly. I’m friends with systems and other fict kins and IRL safe spaces. I felt the vibe was completely off and after I started to talk to my friend that was also his friend I feel that “jealousy” only got worse. I don’t blame him. I used to be the same way. I didn’t handle it like he did nor did any of the other stuff.

I said if anyone wanted to still talk to me that they can dm. I did not want to support a server that inhabits everything that can hurt me. As for my overall experience there. It was chill. I didn’t chat much if at all. Only dropped in to shit out some art or something cause I’m horrible at small talk and chatting. EVEYRONE was sweet and nice and I kinda miss that experience but the vibe was just off ever since the second week. especially the minor thing.

I joined his server cause I had recently went through a break up and wanted to actually make friends now since I was able to and not feel guilty. I joined through his tumblr post about it and was immediately overwhelmed with the channels but it was for his book so I brushed that off. One of the rules was that you weren’t allowed to ship anything other than what was in his book which it’s his server, that’s fine. But he directly said that to me, knowing I draw ticcijack. To be fair I wasn’t gonna send any of that art to the server regardless as that ship is more of a personal comfort to me and I keep it in my own server where IK people will be okay with it or on my own personal pages like this one or tiktok. I don’t spam others servers with ship art cause I’m aware of others possibly not liking it. I just felt he was secretly annoyed with me from the start, and with that feeling I didn’t feel welcome in that server.

Anyways. Sorry for that essay. It’s long cause I like to yap. Especially if I have a lot of information on a topic. This isn’t hate to anyone even Plague. I think some of it was misunderstood and taken in the wrong way. This is just my personal take and experience with him and his server. Again I can provide screenshots but I don’t think it’s necessary. I hate drama and chose to mostly stay neutral. I’m not defending him or his alleged actions but I’m defending a friend and stating what I know.

:ENDING STATEMENT:

Doxxing is never okay, I don’t believe any of the people mentioned deserved to be bashed or bullied even though the allegations are pretty bad. I saw the explanation posts obviously but that’s about it. Again I don’t support that type of childish behavior. Yeah he’s done some shit but doxxing is seriously dangerous and is not necessary.

If you’re on Plagues side or not, do not dm me or send anon asks I will ignore you. This isn’t a post defending him obviously nor is it bashing him. It’s simply stating the truth and I’m sorry if that’s painful. It was brought up by someone and now I’m just pulled into it. I apologize for clogging up anyone’s feed with this bullshit.

[rivetgoth]

hey char! out of curiosity, how did you and angel get together? and whats one of your favorite things about her? :)

We met right here on Tumblr through this interaction :D

She followed me and I hadn’t followed back at the time (I really rarely check new followers) but after she sent this ask and I answered it I followed her back. After that we started interacting with each other in the comments of our posts and stuff, then we got each other on different social media, and after a couple of months she reached out on Instagram to tell me that she actually lived close by and inviting me to come hang out with her. We hit it off immediately and spent like hours and hours and hours talking, we kept driving from place to place around the city finding more things to do, we went to a record store, a little alternative store, we got food, we got coffee, and from there we started talking to either through text or on the phone literally every day. We’d spend HOURS on the phone together back then, like sometimes 8-9+ hours, just sitting there talking.

Like I love this screenshot, of us awake at 5:40 AM on the phone for 8 hours talking about Paul Barker 😭

We also would meet up pretty frequently in person too of course. Like one time that she stayed over the night before Record Store Day and instead of sleeping we stayed up the literal entire night into the next day talking about Nivek Ogre and Al Jourgensen. And then we moved in together before we were a couple about six months later. We were both looking to move anyway so the timing just worked out and we could kinda “test run” things since I was in a dorm room at the time that was much larger than it needed to be because my school didn’t know how to provide gender inclusive housing for transitioning individuals LMAO. We cohabitated really well and living together only made us grow closer. FWIW I was attracted to her right away, I remember the first moment I fully processed what she looked like was when she first messaged me asking if I wanted to hang out and I looked through her selfies so I’d be able to recognize her when we met and could not believe she really looked like that. I was like lol no way is this person this hot and asking to hangout 😳

Anyway. A little while after moving in together I think there was a lot of tension forming between us because she was (spoilers) attracted to me as well. So we started hooking up before we actually started calling ourselves a couple. The funny thing is neither of us really remember the exact moment we started formally considering ourselves a couple. We never had a big “what are we” convo where we put a solid label to things. We had a few conversations about how we hardly knew how to describe our dynamic because girlfriend / boyfriend felt almost juvenile for the level we were at, already living together and sharing finances and then also hooking up, but we started actually verbalizing stuff we were doing as dates, we’d been saying I love you etc for ages already, we started sharing a bed every night, and at some point us being in a relationship was just our reality. 🤷‍♂️

I love her so much. I feel like the luckiest man in the whole world getting to be with her and spend my life with her. Genuinely cannot believe she is so cool, smart and articulate, stylish, thoughtful, funny, with such good taste in music and everything else, and that she is my baby. It’s still so surreal. As for a FAVORITE thing, it’s so hard to pick just one obviously lol, but I think one of the things I appreciate about her more than anything and that I never ever want to take for granted is the way she’s always striving to learn and grow and form a fully consistent and logical and articulate worldview and ethical / philosophical system, like she’s always thinking about new things, reading new works, investigating the world around her, engaging with complicated subject matter, sharing her insights with me, trying to genuinely form a cohesive system for how to make the world a better place, and that’s inspired and driven me so much to do the same. She’s genuinely one of the smartest people you will ever talk to. I never get bored of our conversations and I learn so much from her all the time.

[opinated-user]

currently it seems like Lilly's story on the new account found is that her "stalkers" made it themselves to slander her.

Which- that goes above and beyond reason in my eyes.

Like ... What's easier, Photoshoping a text based screenshot such as a Tumblr post, or creating whole accounts on a deep/dark web site just to slander ONE person and risk getting yourself arrested because of the contents on that site. Idk, seems like too much work for a toll my guy...

indeed it does. i already saw all of this when the sankaku accounts came out. first the anons trying to be "this is obviously a lie and you're a fool for believing on it" and then LO somehow immediately knowing who it was that made that account... even though... how would she know? think about it for a moment. ebara is the name for an old sockpuppet account that LO used to triangulate Lizzy, but not in the traditional ways. she never actually created a separate account for it, she just posted "LO is feeling bad for the moment so i'm taking over now" and answered posts with "mod ebara" as a signature on the same blog that LO always used. it was painfully obvious it was just LO being more agressive than normal. nobody ever met ebara just like nobody ever met Tara/Alison. they wrote exactly the same. ebara never had any other purpose in life that moderating the socials for LO when she felt like guil tripping everyone or just wanted pity or control Lizzy. but do we have unquestionable proof that ebara never existed that could be held under the most rigorous scrutiny possible? no. just like we don't have it for tara either. you could, for the sake of argument, insist that tara just liked to use LO's computer and that's why they had the same IP. if you really wanted to go there, you could. so we know why and how we relate the username ebaratara back to LO. but realistically speaking, it could also be literally anyone else in the internet just coincidentally choosing that username.

that person could have been talking about literally anyone's sister. of course we'd relate that back to LO because obviously, but why would she relate it back to herself? how and why would she know exactly the purpose that account was created for and for what kind of people? why it couldn't be just a coincidence, a stranger? why couldn't just be the same person who owns the sankaku account and still completely unrelated to LO? futhermore, if it was someone wanting to incriminate her, her specifically, why not give the alarm themselves as soon the post was created? why wait for months only to then do it? did they just forgot? even though they went through the trouble of reading Courtney's facebook messages, react to his blog, create that account and only post that post specifically six days later after the account was made? again, this exact same thing happened when the sankaku accounts dropped. immediately, as soon the news was out, LO didn't waste any time into affirming that they were made to incriminate her and that always rubbed me the wrong way. how would you know? why couldn't be just a stranger than the "terminally online delusional stalkers" are connecting to her? why are you so quick into immediately picking up a guilty party and claim to know who they are? it sounds less to me like someone reaching a reasonable conclusion and more like she pointing fingers just to avoid the attention on herself.

[swaps55]

Writer's first line meme

Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten fics. If you haven’t written ten fics, share as many first sentences as you have.

Tagged by @otemporanerys. Thank you!!

Tagging @dearophelia @stormikins @urrone @mrsd-writes and anyone else who would like to play!

I just went down the Ao3 list, and left out the prompt collections.

Fugue – Alchera & the 2 year gap (ALMOST FINISHED, aaaahhhhh)

The first salvo hit with Shepard in mid-laugh.

2. Capriccio – A father’s love for a whirlwind of a child.

Forget relays and first contact wars and discovering aliens. The real test of courage and mettle is having an eight-year-old named Sam Shepard

3. Heartstoppers From Beyond The Veil - Sam & Kaidan First Kiss AU

Shepard thunders through the ‘Yang’s airlock like it’s a day of reckoning, and every single person between him and the crew deck makes the quick and wise decision to get the hell out of his way before they wind up being the one he reckons with.

4. Space Talk – Another Sam & Kaidan first kiss AU. :D

Kaidan nearly slips going down the hill towards the prothean artifact.

5. Concerto: Vimire

New Message, Shepard, Sam, Staff Commander, 5923-AC-2826

-You awake?

6. Warm With You: Post-Leviathan snuggles

The pale light of Shepard’s fish tank casts an eerie glow around the otherwise dark cabin.

7. Cantata: The Making of Commander Shepard, in which my opening sentence is a sex joke that neither I nor Kaidan clocked until much later, oops. XD

Kaidan has never even heard of the Docking Station, a poorly named bar on the fringes of Arcturus’ torus ring that is about as far from the actual docking bays as anyone can get.  

8. Untitled Goose Fic: Another Sam & Kaidan First Kiss AU, that was spawned because upon discovering there is an Ao3 tag for “Soulmate Goose of Enforcement,” I asked, “is anyone gonna write one for Mass Effect?” and did not wait for an answer.

“So,” Shepard says, surveying the lake with a critical eye. “You have a lake.”

9. The Things We’ve Done: Sam & Kaidan first sex AU, with my favorite tag ever, “you’re not dead let’s have sex about it.” This is actually a chapter of Cantata, but I posted it as a separate story because of the AU ending.

Suit alarm. Another blood pressure alert.

10. Late Nights, Slow Dances: Mixing business with pleasure, Citadel DLC style. The clone won’t be part of Opus proper, but this idea hit me after I took a very fluffy screenshot, and I couldn’t resist.  

The oscillating lights over the casino dance floor are a bit much, but between the music and the formalwear and Shepard on his arm, this infiltration mission almost feels like…a date.

[persefoneshalott]

les mis spanish censorship adventures 5: the bishop deradicalization

LM 1. 1. 10 - The Bishop in the Presence of an Unknown Light

This is so far the chapter I've found the most censoring and edits to and it changes the message a lot. This bishop does not go through any kind of development or reflection (though sometimes the text will say he is 'shaken' and other lines like those are leftover, which make little to no sense with all the cuts). This is just another 'the bishop is kind' episode and it feels really pointless and strange.

I did not translate all of this because it's a lot of text and it's pretty similar to the english translation anyway. I merely translated the stuff that was changed and left the rest as in the hapwood text. You can see on the screenshots HOW MUCH it was cut (all the boxed sentences) and the edits in red.

Below the cut I'll elaborate on the changes, I recommend you look at the pics first and then go back here if you want to be surprised about them.

.

. Pro revolution sentiments are cut, the conventionalist mentioning having voted for it is cut, which seems kind of unnecessary considering they mention 93...

The 'to what name to you object line' is SO good, he has just compared a king's grandson and a "criminal"'s brother (Cartouche was a thief from the little I read about him so eh) as people who paid for their families crimes undeservingly and when the bishop is like I don't like these names together G is like which of the two, which implies the king is a lot worse which he is and I just really enjoy that line! But in the censored version after the bishop objects he's just like alright and says nothing because they CUT IT because they KNOW it's a great answer :/

Another really good significant part is destroyed when instead of the 'equally?' part we get "I cry with you" from the bishop and no answer from G again. The suffering of the monarchy and poor people is the same. :///

The way it's cut makes it seem like the bishop is on the right, bc he'll say something and then G will go quiet and then seemingly change the subject when there's actually reactions and more conversation happening . It makes it seem like G is in a bit of a rant too.

A bunch of text about how much money the bishops have and how they have a lot of food is cut, I guess because G is talking about the church in a negative way. The Jesus Christ line is obviously cut.

Lines like the bishop feeling shaken and 'now it was time for the bishop to be humble and G to be arrogant' are kept, which is confusing. There's another one about the bishop being moved later on, and it's like why?? There's nothing on this text that warrants this reaction from you?

I looked up the names G mentioned and I really like how he repeatedly compares revolutionaries with crimes that are done in the name of Catholicism as the 'if this is bad how can this other guy be good'. There's the Dragonnades (which was a government policy of repression ordered by the King in which protestant families were intimidated by the military, by abuses and destroying their property etc, into converting to Catholicism) which Baville and Francois and Letellier son (aka Marquis de Louvois, who was a war minister )have part on. There's Saulx-Tavannes being a catholic military leader during the French Wars of Religion... it's very good to go with that specific route when talking to a bishop I think. And there's Letellier senior (father), to which what I said doesn't apply, but he repressed uprisings from the people (la fronde) so it's another good one.

Anyway, they cut from all those except Marquis de Louvois. I really did not do any more research than going on wikipedia so I don't know why they decided that was a good one to stay. And with those cuts also disappears the paragraph where it's explicitly said the bishop is offended but not on the side of logic.

The final cut of their conversation is that they change it so that the bishop is the one who blesses the conventionalist, as it should be. The bishop redoubles his tenderness, we don't really know why, nothing has really changed in him. (I know he doesn't change per se because of G in the original, but I do think he is changed by the event)

Then they cut the part where the bishop says G is in heaven and because this bishop has not been #radicalized, the whole section of the red cap is cut.

AND because they cut this, they leave this: ""Was the bedside of such a dying man as that the proper place for a bishop? There was evidently no conversion to be expected. All those revolutionists are backsliders. Then why go there? What was there to be seen there? He must have been very curious indeed to see a soul carried off by the devil." AS THE CONCLUSION of the chapter??? which is so wild. G is in hell, reader, and the narrator is confused about why Myriel even went to visit him. What a nice way to end it on.

[leosxrealm]

you said that none of the gifs were from tumblr yet suddenly you tag 4 blogs from tumblr under those gifs.. you knew who they belonged to but you played dumb

what happened?

a 17 year old made two appreciation post for some of their favorite drivers

the posts in question : post one || post two

why are the people pissed?

because i didn’t give credits to whom i “stole” the gifs from

“yOu StOlE tHeM!!” Ublah blah blah

where did i actually got them from?

one || two || three || four / another source

these are actual screenshots that i took maybe less than an hour ago (if the links don’t up for some people)

why did i tag the people later on?

at first i did because i didn’t wanna fight with people over something like gifs.

AND because when i cross checked the sources (from google) they were the original creators/uploaders of it.

one of those gifs (the charles leclerc one) isn’t even from tumblr😭😭

all i did was put something like “max verstappen gifs” in the search bar and after scrolling through some of it (a lot of it) i stumbled upon these

and some of these toxic fans (not all of them) instead of sending civil messages, they straight up started being a bitch

i didn’t know i should’ve tagged the owners of the gifs because i’ve never seen someone else do it

i’ll do the danny ric ones after school (yes i’m in school rn. can’t even find peace there)

To answer the anon’s ask-

i was not playing dumb. i realized things and i tried to make them correct. there have been others anons in my inbox and i don’t even feel like answering them (they’re saying the same thing that i’ve answered before)

tumblr, especially my blog was a safe space for me, where i could easy interact with people in the same fandom as me.... not anymore

[pepsi-maxwell]

at this point I feel almost contractually obligated to prompt someone offering to toss MJF's salad for him. (I feel like Cody would be sufficiently bitchy about it.)

i feel like you are both absolutely right and that cody would have accidentally done it in a very public way, because i love the idea of him tweeting “where are you, i'll come toss your salad for you, stop throwing a tantrum about it”

under a cut for length, talk about tossing salad (nothing explicit) and the precursor to phone sex

-

He’s in the shower when the notification comes through, which means he doesn’t see it until about twenty minutes later.

By that point, Cody’s original, incredibly suspect tweet tagging him has long since been deleted, but the evidence remains in the form of screenshots, and a number of replies also tagging him, blowing up his notifications in an even more annoying way than usual.

Most of them he’s happy to ignore; doesn’t care about the opinions of IWC smarks with nothing better to do than smash their cheeto dust-stained fingers against a keyboard or a phone screen, and he’s happy to stay far, far away from the accounts that are already using it as... shudder, fanfiction fodder.

But then there are the responses from the people he works with on a weekly basis, which are somehow even worse than the fanfiction.

Five sobbing emojis coupled with a doe-eyed pleading one from Caster. Some awful gif of someone in a gimp mask eating a taco from Punk, which is frankly ridiculous given the stories he’s heard about what Punk’s used his mouth for.

Even the Pinnacle aren’t above making fun at his expense, which he thinks maybe is the price paid for the clear lack of leadership ever since they abandoned him. Dax, Cash, and... ugh, even Wardlow all making their own witty remarks about it.

Well.

Not all of them.

Spears, ever loyal, has replied to a screenshot of Cody’s tweet with a helpfully misguided “who wouldn’t?”, but that’s just invited its own secondary chain reaction of responses, including one from Caster saying something truly filthy that he’s not even sure is physically possible, and Punk replying with the same fucking gimp gif.

It’s about that point that he decides to open his direct messages, because clearly his Twitter feed is going to be a wasteland for the next month, thanks so much for that, Cody. Time to talk to the source of all of this.

Are you seriously going to tell me you didn’t know what tossing salad means???

Almost immediately he sees the three dots indicating a response.

Are you going to tell me that wasn’t some desperate plea for someone to toss your salad for you?

He almost throws his phone across the room when the message comes through. He hadn’t—expected him to double down on it. Has to reread the message twice to try and whether or not they’re talking about the same thing.

Hates the weird, shocky burst of arousal that comes from imagining Cody eating ass, eating his ass specifically, wonders if this makes him just as bad as the other disgusting perverts he has the misfortune to work with.

You’re too late anyway, I did it myself

Didn’t think you were that flexible, Max

Fucking— alright. That answers that question. Raises a whole bunch more, but still. He closes the stupid bird app. Navigates to the few actual numbers that have the honour of being saved in his phone. Unwinds the towel around his waist and lets it drop to the floor. Sits down on the edge of his bed, gets a hand on his dick.

Makes a call.

[laviejaguardia]

So, you made a Tumblr blog

You're finally here, after seeing many screenshot on Instagram, and hearing many times this site is dead on Twitter. Here you are, and you got no clue how any of this works. That's okay, this should help

[these are just social cues about how this site works that us old users don't even think about but can feel confusing for users coming from other platforms.]

Let's begin:

How does this site work? Easy! The blood and soul of this site is reblogs (not to mistake them with reposting). Think of it as finding something cool and going "hey guys check out what my buddy did", except way less annoying because you can do it 300x times a day and no one will mind and actually they'll thank you for it. A reblog might sound like a Big Deal but it's the equivalent of an Instagram like, as in the currency of the platform.

What if I don't want to spam the dashboard? Then you can use the queue. Click the options on the reblog window and chose "add to queue", you can configure it from your blog options for when and how it posts. You'll find many users use tags that include the word 'queue' to signal that it isn't an "online" reblog, this is totally optional.

What about the tags everyone treats as sacred? Tags are mostly for your organization, but also for speaking your mind (keep in mind, it's considered rude to diss the creation/fandom/ship in the tags of a positive post! The creator will see it in their activity page and it's a bummer, keep your comments silly or positive. If you wanna vent make your own post and tag it accordingly with anti-fandom/ship/character). If you don't have anything to say on the tags of a reblog don't let that stop you! Reblog without tags, you can always reblog it again later if you came up with something to say (no, OP won't mind).

What about likes? Likes are more like bookmarks for stuff you wanna find easily later, maybe for a personal post of a friend. You'll find you can actually hide your likes page (as the people you follow) on your blog, that's the common practice. Litterally no one will go look at your likes page,,, ever. trust me, it's easier to just have it hidden.

On the contrary, reblogs and original posts tell people what you're interested in, what you enjoy/don't enjoy. This is what it'll decide if someone wants to follow you or not: what kind of content you'll bring to their dash (don't worry if it's not consistent, we'll get to that later). Likes are mostly just for yourself.

What are replies for then? Probably the least used feature. You can use it to reply to a friend's personal post, or if you have a question for OP that needs an answer. This is not like a Twitter or Instagram comment! They won't boost the post and the creator would rather you'd put that praising comment in the tags of a reblog. They'll see it in their activity page for sure 😉

How do I find blogs w juicy posts to reblog as a newie? Search a fandom/ship you like and follow the top blogs there, scroll till you find a post you like and follow the original poster. They might follow back if they check out your blog and see you reblog content they like and congrats! You're mutuals 💕

You can also follow tags and there's always creation hubs blogs that exist solely for the purpose of creating or rebloging gifsets and content of a specific fandom/ship.

Do timelines matter? Is it cringe to reblog old things? An unequivocal no. You'll find its hard to know when something was posted to begin with, and we love that! It doesn't matter if it's from a deactivated blog, if it's 5 days or 7 years old, reblog it anyways, you won't be judged because no one will look at the date it was posted either.

What is it this about "curating your online experience"? Just like Instagram, you can block people, just like Twitter, you can also mute/filter words. On Tumblr you can also filter tags. (They'll appear like posts w a message that they contain filtered content). And like neither, you can turn off all suggestions so you see stuff only from people you follow, in the order it was posted.

How do I do this? Settings > dashboard > preferences > best stuff first/include stuff in your orbit/include "based on your likes!" > Off/on as you prefer!

Next is tags and keywords, these will depend on who you follow and what stuff you're sick of seeing. Filter freely! No one will know except you and the better tailored to your interests your dash is, the more fun using this platform will be. Remember, this site doesn't have an algorithm that hides content from the people you follow based on your activity like other platforms, so don't hold back. (Filtered tags are also great to use like on twitter to hide spoilers or trigger warnings, with the added bonus that tagging those is a popular policy here, it can be more effective than on twitter.)

I'll give you a tip: if you've blocked someone but are still coming across their stuff in people's reblogs, load their URL as a muted word and say bye to their annoying content for sure 😘 I also use it for meme posts that start to get on my nerves.

What about those comments about the likes and reblogs ratios? Well, that's A Thing here. Like I said before, reblogs are the whole point of this site, so when in recent years people seem to have switched to only ever liking stuff (along w many other reasons. It's not one single person's fault), the site traffic has plummeted. This has been very disheartening for creators who started to feel like the fandom communities they loved and interacted with on the daily became silent audiences who are not interested in making the community grow or even engage with it. It sort of escalated from there.

The bottom line is that we all want to support and enrich the fandom/s we're in, so I wrote this in the hopes that it'd give new users an idea of how to best do it in this particular platform 💗

For more info you can check tumblr's official guide

[thefanficmonster]

Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends.��

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well. 

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“ 

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“ 

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling. 

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in. 

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either. 

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. 

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams  @the-fuck-up-of-today  @slashersdream  @chiefwombathoagiepizza  @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01

[shotorozu]

hellooo,, i saw another tiktok video(and since ur like the elite on writing this type of reqs im requesting to you aha) https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJYsk4CY/ for shoto, kaminari and monoma (if u write for him) ty 💕

‘bae lol’

(the greenscreen heart, then kiss tiktok trend)

character(s) : todoroki shouto, kaminari denki, monoma neito (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] for monoma reader’s a part of class 1-A, they/them pronouns used, quirk’s not specific

headcanon type : fluff (x reader)

note(s) : oh, i absolutely love AND hate this trend, it’s mostly bc im single though :,) not like i can get a partner in the pandemic. anyways! i love your thinking, anon <3 also no proofread bc its like,, 2am here </3 will edit later!

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

he’s very aware of your tiktok antics, but out of all of the ones you’ve pulled on him, and asked him to do

he loves this one the most.

because shouto doesn’t have to get the lights scared out of him, and it doesn’t have a chance in ending terribly.

you brisk towards your room, knowing that shouto rests inside— “shou!” you call out to him, and he tilts his head up

“Y/N, tell me it’s not—”

“no, i swear!” you drop next to him on the bed, and you play the video. “this would be fun to do, right?”

he doesn’t say anything at first, but he definitely wants to do it, judging by the fact that he’s replaying the tiktok over and over again.

abruptly standing up, he tugs at your wrist “let’s do it.” he says with determination hinted in his voice

you’d think that he’d get the hang of doing tiktoks because of you but LMAO NO— the greenscreen failed you both multiple times in a span of 40 minutes.

the first take, the heart was blurry, the second take, the kiss was captured seconds before the kiss, and the third take— your phone fell 💀

plus, his movements were a little stiff the first few times, but after the third try— he definitely got the hang of it.

and,, he doesn’t understand tiktok effects, not even the slightest.

on the brighter note, he has more excuses to kiss you so,, it’s a win for him! he won’t get sick of doing any retakes :))

you knew the moment he focused on making the perfect heart, as he firmly pulled you close to kiss you

that, would be the perfect shot there. he almost forgot that there was a camera recording

shouto is seen replaying the filmed tiktok over and over again— and it might’ve looked odd to anyone else

but not to you, definitely. for you, it’s the norm to see him like that.

“do more trends where i could kiss you more.” he pecks you on the lips, before he leaves you be temporarily only to edit the tiktok, ofc

the tiktok itself blows up by a ton, gathering 2M likes, and 5M views, in a surprising amount of time, and you didn’t even notice how he placed his hand on your hip

until the comments pointed it out to him. which shouto replies with “i always do that. you just didn’t seem to notice.” it’s fine bc you do now

the comments consisted of “where can i find a guy like this 💔” “haha that’s so cool *blocks*” “okay but we sEE THOSE HANDS 👀”

nonetheless— please do more trends like that with him. don’t be afraid!

shouto rates the entire ordeal a ♾/10. can and will do it again. oh— and he saves his home and lockscreen as the final outcome from the tiktok. he did a screenshot it, and decides to keep it like that for a very long time

kaminari denki

again— this man is ALWAYS on tiktok, so he’s aware of most of the trends there. but that doesn’t make them any less scarier

but oh wow, he loves this trend. denki was just praying that you’d see it— and ask him to do it with you.

he was grateful that luck was on his side, since he was ecstatic when you skipped over to him— asking him to do a tiktok trend

“oh, what tiktok trend? wait— please tell me it doesn’t involve me breaking up with you for a week so you could listen to drivers licenses—”

“what? no— let me show you” and when you showed him the tiktok, he showed you this cheeky little smirk

“let’s do it! the sooner the better!” he says, and he seems more excited that you 💀

denki’s so enthusiastic, to the point that the first few takes are a total fail— as he makes you fall over your feet, as the result of quickly pulling you onto him for a kiss.

“denki— one of these days, you’re going to shatter my face”

“sorry, sorry!” he grins sheepishly. and it’s a miracle that he didn’t accidentally short circuit!

you guys try again, still persistent in getting at least a decent video, and this time— when he yanked you, causing you almost slip

he tightened his hold on you, a hand pressed against the small of your back and another hand dangerously close to your bank

the kiss is eager, passionate— and he holds you like you’re on the verge of death

and this flusters you because MAMDKWDK what happened to the goofiness 💀 i suppose that’s what happens when you have an eager denki kaminari.

you upload the video, thinking it would only get 5 likes at the very most— but it exceeds your expectations

though most people couldn’t get a clear view of your relationship dynamic with him, denki’s enthusiasm did attract the attention of 2.8M people

and in a good way, because the video did get 800k likes

the comments consisted of “when he caught you when you almost fell :,)” “damn he was EXCITED” “hey, have you told us where you got your boyfriend? i need the link to find someone like him NOW‼️‼️”

the bakusquad fawned over the video weirdly, but it quickly gets overplayed by denki— since that’s all he watched for a week or so 💀

monoma neito

bruh </3 as much as he loves you, you’re going to kill him with pranks one of these days.

he’s totally in on it if HE’S not the one being targeted, but most of the time,, neito’s the subject of your pranks

so he thinks it’s another silly prank, where you make him pick a number between 1-5 and ghost him for that many hours.

but when you show him the video one day, when you guys were chilling in your room— as per usual, he declined :,)

“sorry dear Y/N! but no. that’s my answer”

“but whyyy?? it’s so harmless!”

“the class is going to tease me for being a part with a silly tiktok like that.” and besides,, he’d be a hypocrite for participating in that kind of tiktok with someone from class 1-A.

in reality, he did want to do it. he wasn’t so sure on why he said no— but he does want to show that something so easy isn’t really a bother to him.

“oh- don’t be so sad about it! you know what?” he gently pulls you up, “let’s do it. i don’t care what those silly class 1-A kids will say anymore.”

“what? i thought you said you didn’t want to.”

“have you ever heard of a lie?” he clicks his tongue, but he’s glad that you’re feeling much better than you did 10 seconds ago.

when it comes to it, he’s actually really shy about it. not like a ‘i don’t want to be seen with you!’ more like ‘gosh, how many takes is this going to take? will i be able to kiss them properly?’

“what if i end up accidentally copying their quirk? neito— focus, damnit.” he thinks to himself, brushing the anxious feeling away.

he’s determined enough to stay focused— but man struggled a bit with cooperating with the heart shape.

“neito— not that heart!” “well, you said to make a heart, so i did!”

it takes a few tries for the greenscreen to cooperate, and for you guys to get in sync

and when he finally has to kiss you, he grins at you— a very obvious blush adorning his cheeks, as he smashes his lips with yours

then he remembers that he actually has to break free from you— and forces you guys apart, still trying to play it cool

“wow! i look awesome. only i could kiss you like that, right? i don’t need an answer, because i know it’s true!” he says with that proud laugh of his, but it immediately dissipates after the second replay

neito leaves you be, not only for you to upload the tiktok— but also because he needs to THINK WHAT JUST HAPPENED he’s running laps in his mind rn

you upload the tiktok, not worrying too much about it— as you wanted to let it sit for a while, before checking up on it

however— when you open your phone again, you get bombarded with multiple text messages from kendou, and the other class 1-b students.

“you and monoma went viral!” is what you can sum up about most of the messages, and you have to see for youself— wanting to know if the tiktok really did get 800k likes and 1.9M views in a short amount of time.

spoilers ‼️ — it did

the comments were mostly like “why can i smell the dynamic from a mile away 💔 i want that.” “he’s definitely annoying to everyone but you” “sHEESH the way he smirked before he kissed you 😩✋‼️‼️😔”

monoma flexes on a daily that he did that to your class— but he HATES how class 1-b wrecks havoc on him, by teasing him

in short— he does prefer this more than being scared. and! he didn’t have to verbally ask you for kisses 💀

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[harleysarchive]

Among You and Me - Corpse x Reader Oneshot (part 2)

Fandom: Corpse, youtubers Warning: Profanity, a lot of swear words, fluffiness, quite long Pairing: Corpse x f!reader Summary: You and Corpse continues with your conversations and it makes you realize that you have feelings for each other. 

Requested

< Previous | Next >

After Corpse had followed you on instagram the two of you talked like nonstop for days. It almost felt like you had known him for years. You had the same humor and he talked about some horror stories he wanted to do and you thought they sounded cool - but not wanting to admit that they scared you as well. You talked about school and how stressed out you were for the essays and exams that were coming up soon.

“I have an exam next Wednesday so I will be off the internet the whole day :(“ you wrote and buried your head in your pillow. 

“That sucks big time.”

“It doesss.”

“Wait… Then you will miss my upcoming stream that day :(“

Shit, you thought. You really wanted to see his stream but right now you don’t have time for it. Which sucks even more than school.

“Probably, I’m sorry :(“ you said and locked your phone to get ready for school.

Corpse POV.

I read the message she sent again and didn’t know what to answer. My brain was so tired so it had problems with coming up with coherent replies. I was not prepared for how the feeling of hurt and sadness that came with that response.

Why did I react like this, of course she has other stuff to do than to watch my stream…

But I couldn’t shake the hurt feeling from my chest. Even though we only had talked for a couple of days it felt like we had known each other for longer than that. She felt like a close friend almost. And when she was with me on my streams, it reduced my anxiety and my nervousness to know that she was watching, somehow it eased my nerves a lot.

Why do I need you there with me to feel safe? he thought to himself and started to type in a response.

“It’s okay, nail those exams for me ;)” he hit send. Thoughts fucking exams that is keeping you away from my stream.

Wait, wait, where the fuck did that thought come from? 

I shook my head, trying to think about something else. I pressed on (Y/N)’s profile on instagram and started to go through her feed. There were some selfies, some pictures of nature and different places where she had been. Some pictures with friends and some with her family. I stopped on a specific selfie of her. She looked so beautiful on it, all I could do was to admire it - and her. Then I did something I thought I’d never do. I took a screenshot of the photo and saved it as my background on my phone.

I will never meet her so this won’t do any harm, I told myself before I fell asleep.

Your POV.

You threw your bag at the couch and fell down face first in the bed. School was killing you at the moment and it wasn’t better with the essays that were piling up on your schedule. You groaned into the pillow and then took up your phone, one message from instagram. You opened it and it was from Corpse. Your heart made a little extra jump everytime you saw the name appear, and that he had answered you. You smiled and read the text. 

“It’s okay, nail those exams for me ;)”

“I will try my best to ace them, just for you ;)” you felt bold writing the last part. But what the hell right? 

You hit send and waited for him to respond. He was probably asleep now, knowing his weird sleeping schedule. Not wanting to wait the whole day - it would drive you nuts and also give you thoughts like “what if I’m annoying or disturbing him?” “what if my message woke him up and he’ll get mad and never want to talk to me again?” “what if…” you know?

You opened your texted book and tried your hardest to study, but it was hard when your mind was constantly wanders away to Corpse - the man that has been on your mind all the time lately and you didn’t mind it really. 

Is it possible to fall in love with someone that you haven’t met? you thought. Because if it is so, then I’m fucked...

Corpse POV.

I must’ve slept for more than three hours for the first time in weeks because I almost didn’t feel dead. I looked over at my phone and I had two messages. One from Dave checking up on me and one from (Y/N). I checked (Y/N)’s message first.

“I will try my best to ace them, just for you ;)”

I got a warm feeling on my chest reading the last part, just for you. I liked that. I liked that a lot actually, more than I liked to admit to myself. I looked at my background picture and there she was smiling at me. Even though it was just a picture from instagram it felt like she smiled at me. And only to me. Some confidence sparked inside of me and I messaged her again.

“Can I get your number?”

Your POV.

You had taken a break from your studying and were watching Mark, Bob, Wade and Sean playing Phasmophobia. It was hilarious to watch. Your phone lit up and you had gotten a message from Corpse on instagram. 

“Can I get your number?”

You stared at the message, he wanted your number. Your thumbs were typing but were shaking so bad, all this kinds of emotions can’t be good for you. 

“Of course!” you typed and then wrote down your number to him. You hit send and bit nervously on your nails. Not long after you got a message from an unknown number.

Hey is this (Y/N)?

Yes is it! Corpse?

Oh thank god! I was nervous I had typed in it wrong and were messaging some weirdo.

You smiled at the two of you continued your conversations throughout the evening.

Some days later it was Wednesday and you had one of your exams. You were a little bit nervous but not a lot. You had tried your best to study, even with obvious distractions, and you had got some informations in your brain. 

Wish me luck on my exam! you send to Corpse, knowing fully that he was sleeping, it was early in the morning, or perhaps he hasn’t even gone to bed yet. Yoy got a ding on your phone.

Good luck (Y/N), not that you need it you are a smart girl. But I know that you are going to kill it 🖤

The heart in the end made your heart jump. 

How am I suppose to consentrate when he sends me stuff like that? 

The exam went like a dream, you knew all the answers to all the questions and it went by fast. You felt pleased with yourself and looked at the clock and it was just before noon. Corpse livestream had just begun!

If I grab a quick lunch I can get home before it is over! you thought to yourself and walked as fast as you could towards the school cafeteria and then straight home.

You made it just in the middle of the stream, they were playing Among Us and Corpse were super nervous. You felt bad for him because you knew that he was great at the game. He didn’t have to be so hard on himself. An idea popped up in your head. You donated 10$ to his stream and wrote:

“You are doing great Corpse and my exam went great ;) much love (Y/N)” 

Now you were just waiting to see if he will notice the message. 

Corpse POV.

My hands were shaking so bad, more than usual. It was normal for me to be nervous before and during a stream but today my nerves were going crazy. I was making rookie mistakes as a impostor, like wtf I am supposed to be the number one impostor here. 

Fuck I wish my hands would stop shaking so bad, why am I so nervous? Well I knew the answer to the question but I didn’t want to admit it to myself. (Y/N) wasn’t here watch and it sucked so bad. I felt lonely and anxious. I looked over at the chat and was that I had recieved a donation with a message.

“”You are doing great Corpse and my exam went great ;) much love (Y/N)” Why thank you-... Wait a minute, (Y/N)?” my voiced cracked at the end of the sentence and I am sure someone caughed up with my surprised and overly excited tone. I took up my phone and texted her fast.

Please tell me that was you who wrote that.

I waited and I saw the three dots going of, not helping with my anxiety one bit.

Yes it was me, I finished much earlier with my exam than I anticipated, so I hurried home to see your stream. 

My heart became all warm over her message and I didn’t even notice that I had held my breath before I let out a huge sigh. She hurried home to watch me. My hands were shaking but not over my nervousness, but from excitement and, i don’t know happiness maybe. Three dots appeared again on the screen.

I couldn’t leave you alone when I know how nervous you get when you’re streaming.

Fuck... That sentence made me fall over the edge, if I haven’t already. I am falling for (Y/N) and I haven’t even met her... 

Yet.

A/N: Upon many requests, here is part two! It made me so happy to see all the comments on my first oneshot and how well recieved it got. Thank you all so freaking much! :D

Tags:

@annshit @artist-bby @polahorvat @wibblytimey @sadlysober @usuie12 @lunaruss @yeolliedokai @fanworrior @kirislut @deathcompass @pillowjj @simonsbluee @reddeserths  

[moon-stars01]

| TikTok |

Jeonghan x Reader

A:gbsbycb

S: Y/n decided to make a tiktok love confession.She almost screams when she saw the number of notifications. More like thousands of notifications.She click one of the notifications and it directed her to the video she created earlier that morning.30K VIEWS.'Fucked.' Y/n thought to herself. She did not try to read the comments and immediately deletes the video.

G:Collage au,tiktok,Confessions

R:General Ratings

| TikTok |

Y/n silently watch as the angelic man went out of their classroom. His

name is Yoon Jeonghan, Vice-Captain of the University's Basketball Team. Handsome is not even enough to describe him. He's kind, funny and smart. Even girls and boys from other universities go crazy for him. Including Y/n.

Deciding to finally get out of the classroom. Y/n made her way to their hangout place in the field.

Y/n shook her head as she watch her friends make silly dance moves and faces in front of their phones with funny music in the backgroud.

"What are you guys doing? You guys look stupid." She laugh as they glared at her.

"Shut up. We are trying this new dance challenge on tiktok." Seungkwan answered and started dancing again. With Vernon filming him.

"Tik what?" Y/n ask but they just spared her a glance and went back to their phones.

Y/n sits beside Minghao and Jun who are also busy watching videos in their phone. Y/n glances at Wonwoo, who just stared at her for few seconds and went back to play games on his phone.

Chan came but then he decided to join Seungkwan and Vernon with the tiktok thing.

Later that night, Y/n decides to download the said application. She did not expect to atleast watch a hundred of tiktok videos within an hour.

She was about to go to sleep when she stumbled upon a video of someone confessing her feelings to her crush through tiktok. It contains greenscreened stolen pictures of the guy she likes as the background as the girl acts silly with the cute music playing with the caption "i hope he never see this."

Y/n didn’t know what came to her that 2 AM in the morning when she made a tiktok video of herself singing 'Plain White T's 1234' with Jeonghan's stolen pictures rolling in the background. And captioned the video with the words "i like you and i hope you won't notice 😔"

Morning came and she did not expect her phone to be bormbarded with hundreds of messages from her friends.

- - - - -

Hao: THE FUCK Y/N YOU LIKE YOON JEONGHAN?!!!!

Kwannie: I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ASK THAT?

Vernon: no one would actually ask why y/n is in local trends?

[Screenshot attached]

Jun: i'm gonna faint

Wonu: Some of my co-players saw it too..

Channie: ...you sound so good Y/n-ssi.

- - - - -

These are just some of the messages she read.

Y/n is so confused.She just woke up and can't really understand what they are talking about but then she checks the other notifications on her phone and it came from a certain application.

She almost screams when she saw the number of notifications. More like thousands of notifications.

She click the one of the notifications and it directed her to the video she created earlier that morning.

30K VIEWS.

'Fucked.' Y/n thought to herself. She did not try to read the comments and immediately deletes the video.

- - - -

Y/nnie: I'm fucked up.

Kwannie: WAIT CAN YOU ANSWER OUR QUESTION FIRST?

Hao: YOU LIKE YOON JEONGHAN?

Y/nnie: Yes. Isn't it clear in the video? 🙂

Kwannie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH *faints*

Channie: my ship ✊😔

Hao: this is too much...

Jun: haohao is smiling like crazy, it's creepy

Vernon: woah. cool.

Wonu: then it means you just made a public confession for him.

Y/nnie: no i mean yes..ugh..it was not suppose to be like this. i didn’t know how that thing blow up and trended. No one is even following me.

Kwannie: omg. It does not work like that y/n.

Y/nnie: Yeah i figured out just now. I am so fucked up. There is no way no one from school saw the video even if I already deleted it. They will probably make fun of me. Worse, Jeonghan would actually avoid and be disgusted.

Channie: ...y/n 😔

Hao: We are always here,y/n. No one can make fun of you.

Jun: Hao is right. We are always behind you. 🙂

Kwannie: You did not do anything wrong. Your voice is actually pretty and you're cute. So even if you won't get to be with Jeonghan someone out there might actually like you.

Y/nnie: That's too nice. I can't believe it came from you...

Jun: HAHAHAHHAHA 🤣

Kwannie: You just had to ruin the moment..I hope you ran into Jeonghan later 🙂

Y/nnie: just kidding. I love you all guys.

Wonu: me too...

Wonu: Like, i love myself too 😎

- - - -

"Y/n there is no point in hiding. Everyone saw the video. Even my dog saw it." Vernon pulled Y/n from her back.

Y/n pouted. And childishly stomp her feet as her friends starts to find their space in their usual hangout spot.

She already skipped all of her classes with Yoon Jeonghan today.

"I can't take this anymore. Everyone literally look at me as if I had some disease." Y/n flop down next to Minghao as the latter softly pats her head.

"Oh yeah? They won't look at you weirdly if you stop wearing that stupid glasses. Were you thinking no one can recognize you by wearing that?" Seungkwan snatch the sunglasses she's wearing and throw it at the middle of the field.

Y/n lets out a yelp. She glared at the younger.

"Y/n-ssi stop worrying. Just deal with it for now. It will eventually die down." Chan starts unpacking the fastfood he bought for lunch.

"You're smart for someone who eats fastfood his whole life." Everyone laugh at Seungkwan's remark.

After eating, Y/n tried to distract herself by playing games with Wonwoo through their phones.

They bid goodbye to each other as they went to their own afternoon classes.

Y/n is too drowned in her thoughts while walking to her class that she did not notice a group of boys walking beside her.

She got out of her thoughts when she heard them singing a familiar song. The song she sang in the tiktok vid.

That's when Y/n saw the familiar basketball uniform in her vision. Not just one person but seems like the whole basketball team is walking right beside her.

'God please. I hope he's not with them..' Y/n prayed silently.

But then she heard a familiar laugh. Y/n closes her eyes tightly from embarrassment as they starts to sing louder and She felt like dying at the moment.

 

"THERE'S ONLY 1 THING.." Y/n starts to walk faster. The group of rowdy basketball players starts to get louder.

Some of the students also starts watching. Some also took out their phones to take a video.

"2 DO 3 WORDS..." Y/n starts hearing fast footsteps behind her. At that moment, Y/n felt like she's gonna cry any second.

"4 YOUUUUU..." The only thing Y/n can think of is to run.

But before she can run someone grab her arm and turns her around.

"...I love you."

This time Y/n can't stop the tears falling from hes eyes.

"..w..what?"

"Cute."

Jeonghan smiled at her as he pinches Y/n’s nose lightly.

"Stop crying...it's not good for my heart." Jeonghan winks at her.

Y/n heard loud whistles and screams from the students surrounding them especially the basketball team. She heard some groans from Jeonghan's admirers but she decided to ignore it.

"..w-what are you doing?" Y/n steps back to make a little space between them.

Y/n did not expect what Jeonghan did next.

Jeonghan suddenly leans into her and kiss her on the cheek.

"Please go out with me,y/n."

'Is he serious?'

But then Y/n saw sincerity and nervousness in Jeonghan's eyes when they lock eyes with each other.

'Shit. He's serious.'

"...okay?"

Y/n wants to punch herself because she sounded so unsure. When it is definitely one of her dreams aside from getting the latest manga of her favorite anime.

"Is that a yes?" Jeonghan asks his eyes so bright Y/n thought she was looking at the nightsky.

Y/n just nods. Jeonghan grinned at her like a kid and grab her hands to intertwine their fingers.

Later that night, Y/n thought that Tiktok wasn’t that bad when she had this angel currently making cute faces in her phone.

[imjusttpeachy]

she's a rae of sunshine (c.h.)

okay so this was a request but i completely read it wrong so i’m gonna write it again but i finished this one anyway so here take it

so sorry to the anon who requested it bc u were so fuckin sweet i’ll have it up asap i promise

playlist

ralph castelli - morning sex

crumb - bones

jorja smith - teenage fantasy

summary: balancing college life and wanting to support your best friends online endeavors was difficult, but reader regrets trying a little harder when she finally meets one of her newer stream-mates

word count: 2, 828

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, coarse language, lowkey OOC Corpse, that needs its own warning i’m sorry,

•••

“Look you knew I had to stream before I said you could come over ya fuckin idiot.”

“Yea I knowwwww, I just wanted to spend more time with my super-hot best friend forever.”

Being the best friend of an online personality had its perks— the amazing trips you got to hitch a ride on, the adoring fans that seemed to latch on to you as well, the sponsorships that would always send you something along with the original PR package, and especially the way she was able to choose their own work hours.

Well... mostly.

As much as you adored spending time together during the day, whether it be shopping or going out for brunch, those late nights that always seemed to hold the most memories you held so dear were few and far between. Of course, you couldn’t blame her; responsibilities were responsibilities, and fuck if you’d let your selfish wants override the way she chooses to get her work done. You really couldn’t be one to judge either-- having to call off dates because you’d underestimated the time you needed to complete a school paper, or when a last-minute lab was called in and you’d have to leave her sitting alone in those cafes with your half-finished mocha and a promise to Venmo her the money to cover it later. What left you feeling the most guilty, though, was the fact that you weren’t able to watch her content as much as you’d like to. Sure, you’d catch a few minutes of a stream here and there but any time you spent apart was usually spent with your head buried in a book, mind bleary with countless espresso shots trying to keep your tired eyes focused on the seemingly unending work in front of you.

But, a distraction every now and then couldn’t hurt. Right?

Having had enough of your current assignment, any coherent thought was long gone, you’d decided to pay your favourite person a little visit. You knew she’d probably be busy as she hadn’t replied to your previous text for a few hours, but knowing her presence alone and any passing comments would lift the heaviness that had found its home in your head and chest, you shot her a message to let her know that her office couch would be occupied by you for the next few hours. Normally, you’d just show up so you knew she wouldn’t have a problem with it; so when that fateful message popped up on your phone giving you the go-ahead you completely ignored the warning of her work schedule and drove right over.

So now here you were, sprawled haphazardly on her couch clad in sweats and a sports bra scrolling through your phone as you watched her finish her final touches so she could start her stream.

“You’re gonna be in the background of my face cam if you wanna sit there y’know.” Groaning in response to her warning not wanting to move from the comfy spot you just found, you looked over at her with the best puppy eyes you could muster. She chuckled softly, raising her hands in surrender as she turned back to her setup. “Hey I really don’t care, just warning ya bug. The thirst comments and screenshots are outta my hands.”

Scoffing under your breath at her comment, you turned your head back to your phone as a Twitter notification popped up at the top of your screen.

Corpse Husband: streaming among us in a few mins, join in on youtube

Heartbeat picking up slightly, you scrambled for the purse you’d thrown at the base of the couch for your headphones. Ever since you’d found this handsome-voiced stranger’s channel on your late night horror binges, you had fallen completely in love. While you weren’t typically the type to watch video game commentary outside of Rae, his voice got you completely hooked and you couldn’t get enough of it. Yeah, maybe you were a bit of a simp, but that sweet and genuine personality that hid behind that gravelly tone had you melting completely into his clutches. You tried to convince yourself to get over it, you didn’t even know what he looked like. But, y’know, a little crush wouldn’t hurt anybody right?

“Going live in T-minus 30 seconds babe.” Jumping slightly as Rae’s voice knocked you out of dreamland, you mumbled out a small “got it” as you once again got focused on getting your headphones connected to your phone. You’d never been able to watch one of his lives before, his horror commentary videos usually playing as background noise as you did schoolwork or while you were falling asleep. Practically shaking with excitement, you opened your YouTube app seeing the live at the very top and tapping on it immediately only to be met with that sweet laugh ringing through your headphones like music to your ears. You grinned to yourself, grabbing the throw pillow you had previously tossed to the floor and hugging it to your chest while your eyes remained glued to your phone screen, completely forgetting what was happening around you as you zeroed in on the gravelly tone you’d fallen oh-so in love with.

“Hey (Y/N) wave hi.” You startled slightly as the faint voice of your friend sounded from across the room. Glancing up from your phone, you pulled an earbud from your ear and furrowed your brows at her before slowly processing what she said, lifting a hand in greeting to her watchers. She laughed at your confusing antics, turning slightly in her chair to look over at you. “What the hell are you so smiley about?”

“…Nothing..” You grinned widely as her laugh once again resounded around the room, shaking her head at you before turning back to her screen with a scoff, muttering something under her breath so only her watchers could hear. Smile still plastered across your lips, you settled back down into the comfiness of the couch and popped your earbud back in, zeroing in again on the screen in front of you. Watching as Corpse moved his character around the lobby as he waited for his friends to join, a small giggle escaped from under your breath; trying your best to be mindful of Rae’s stream but not being able to hold back the flustered feeling welling up in your chest, mind giddy with the thought of finally being able to see one of his famous live streams, well, live. It had only been a few seconds later when you heard Rae’s voice once again, only this time, not as muffled as before.

“What’s up motherfuckers.” Brows furrowing in confusion, you lifted your hand to your earbud and pulled it from your ear once again, hearing her voice from across the room but from your other earbud as well. No, there was no fucking way. All your questions were answered, though, as you glanced back down at your phone screen seeing a red character move around the game lobby along with Corpse’s, the gamer tag ‘Valkyrae’ floating just above it. Blinking hard at your screen trying to convince yourself that your eyes were lying to you, you slowly pulled your hand to cover your mouth in shock. How… How could you possibly not know they knew each other? With the way they spoke to each other in sarcastic comments, poking fun at the other it sounded like they were close too. Body finally catching up with your thoughts, you scrambled at your phone, shaky hands moving as quickly as they could to pull up your texts with Rae. Your fingers tapped furiously at the screen, anxious to get back to the live stream to listen in more but also needing to know what the fuck was going on.

TO my rae of sunshine: care to explain what the fuck is going on??! how the fuck do you know corpse husband?????!??!

“Oops sorry guys, guess I forgot to turn off my phone ringer-“ Staring up at the back of her head helplessly, you watched as she picked up her phone seeming to read out the text before bursting into a peal of laughter. Tossing a look at you over her shoulder, you looked back down at your phone bashfully, seeing the three loading dots in your message thread indicating that she was messaging you back.

my rae of sunshine: lol what about it? you gotta crush on him or something?

TO my rae of sunshine: …no

Hitting send you rushed back to the stream, anxious to see what Corpse was saying in response to Rae’s absence, not thinking anything about your brief conversation and thinking you would discuss it after she had logged off for the night. Though, as you heard her phone chime again from across the room followed by another bark of laughter, you knew you weren’t getting off that easy.

“What are you laughing about?” Corpse’s honeyed voice sounded from your earbud, hearing Rae’s giggles from what you presumed to be their discord voice chat. Glancing anxiously between his stream and the reflection of Rae’s face cam in one of her monitors, your heart began to sink as you watched that familiar mischievous grin tugging at the edge of her lips.

“Oh just my friend (Y/n) sent me a funny meme”

“Wait, is she the one in some of your Instagram posts?” You swear your heart stopped beating at that moment, eyes glued to the screen in front of you as you tried helplessly to process the conversation happening right in front of you. He knew who you were? You thought you’d always be lost among the hundreds of thousands of his new adoring fans, left in the anonymity of your Twitter tag in his subtweets, or just another subscriber that fawned over him silently behind a keyboard. Knowing that he’d actually seen your face you could feel your own beginning to heat at that moment; you brought your hands your mouth again, unknowingly curling your body tighter around the pillow in your lap as you tried to hide your face behind it as you become more and more flustered from the words nonchalantly escaping his mouth.

“Yea that’s her, pretty thing isn’t she? She’s my absolute favourite.”

That’s it, you were gonna fucking kill her.

“I mean, yeah... I guess..” The timid words followed by a soft awkward chuckle had your breath hitching in your throat. There was no fucking way this was happening. This had to be a dream, that was the only possible explanation. You were just about to pinch yourself when Rae’s voice startled you from your thoughts.

“She’s actually over right now. She insisted on getting wine drunk later tonight because her professor’s been on her ass lately. I’ll get her to come say hi.” Rae had barely turned around in her chair when she was met with your wide-eyed gaze, panic painted across your features as you shook your head wildly. You were in no state to be talking to your long-time internet crush in such a casual setting. But with the look Rae shot you from her chair as she started to plug another headset into her PC, you knew you had no choice and begrudgingly pulled yourself from the couch almost tripping over your own feet as you shakily walked over to Rae. Shooting her another pleading look, she only shoved the headset in your direction in return as she grinned up at you. Finally biting the bullet, you pulled on the headset and leaned down toward the mic.

“Hi, how’s it going?” Cursing at yourself for how quiet and shaky your words came out, you barely had any time to think it over before a chorus of greetings sounded through the headset. A small giggle escaped your lips as you watched the different Discord icons appear and disappear from the top of the screen. You knew most of these people already which made you even more confused as to how you managed to miss that voice from all the discord chats and voice calls. Well, knowing them was a bit of an overstatement anyway; you knew /of/ them, and they knew /of/ you in the other times you popped up in the background or in passing conversation during Rae’s streams. They did know you well enough, though, to know this was not the way you usually spoke around them.

“No way, that can’t be the (Y/N) I know!” The voice you recognize as Sean echoes through your headset, another chorus of knowing laughter following quickly after. Taking a deep breath you managed to force out a few words that would get them off your case.

“…Shut the fuck up”

“There she is!!” As the group erupted in laughter yet again, all you could focus on was the faint deep chuckle that resounded through your headset. Feeling your face start to heat up, you covered your wide grin with your hand as butterflies burst through your stomach; you could listen to that laugh all day. Before you were able to speak again, though, that heavenly voice piped up and wiped all train of thought from your mind.

“Nice to meet you (Y/N).”

“It’s nice to meet you too Corpse. I gotta be honest ‘n say I’m a pretty big fan of your no-sleep work.” And... there’s the word vomit. Fuck, you could feel your cheeks starting to heat up with the ongoing realization of who you were talking to.

“Aha thank you, I uh really appreciate that. I’m sure you just heard, but I guess you could say I’m a fan of yours also.”

No.

No, there’s no fucking way.

Is he...

Flirting with you?

Before you could even think about what to reply to that with, the rest of the group beat you to it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is happening.”

“CORPSE! You SIMP!”

“Is- Is Corpse really shooting his shot right now?”

You didn’t realize you were frozen in place until you felt Rae’s hand on your elbow, snapping you out of your bewildered trance as you tried to comprehend what was happening yourself. As your thoughts finally caught up to the present, you could feel your cheeks start to burn; pulling your hand up to cover your face you stepped out of the view of the face cam. Rae’s laughter filled the room as she watched your flustered antics, shooting you a sly grin as she started scanning the monitor displaying her live chat.

“Wait, wait, chats telling me (y/n)’s blushing right now?” Sean’s voice echoed through the discord chat, only making you flush further as you tried desperately to find a way out of this.

“Okay, okay, leave her alone.” Corpse’s voice finally piped up amid all of the chaos causing everyone to immediately pipe down. God, you didn’t even want to begin to think of the mess this has already made, you just needed to get out of there before you caused any more damage.

“Yeah, I uh- see- see that the lobby’s full so I’ll just uh- leave you guys to it.” Quietly thanking the stars that Corpse finally got you out of this mess, you went to pull the headset off your ears when that fateful voice piped up again.

“Wait, don’t let these nerds make you leave. You should stay- I mean, only to help Rae y'know? She needs it.”

“I do not!”

“I- I mean yea sure, as long as I’m not intruding,” Cursing yourself again for stuttering before forcing yourself to swallow the knot in your throat, “I mean, she really does need the help.”

“Okay just because you want to flirt some more doesn’t mean you can bully me-“

“Okay, I’m starting the round!” The booming accented voice cut off everyone else in the call as you all stared as the screen began to count down to the game, and before anyone had the chance to say anything else a chorus of laughs resounded, and then the lobby fell into silence.

•••

And it went on like that, the not-so-subtle flirting followed by relentless jabs from the group immediately after. The game was almost forgotten with how much of each lobby was taken up by teasing words and endless laughter, but every audience was just eating it up. You didn’t even want to think about the mess social media was going to be after this stream but right now you were having fun with your friends and that’s all that mattered. The grin was practically plastered on your face as you laughed along with Rae the chat during the gameplay portions and you knew everything from this moment on was gonna be different, but you couldn’t find a single thing within you to care.

Especially when you logged onto Twitter right after the stream and saw that little message right at the top of your requests.

@.corpsehusband: wanna hear some of that no sleep work in person?

•••

beep bop here u go,

[hacked-by-jake]

Hbj, first of all I hope you have a great day. The theories about Jake using the character, it's making me crack my head, I've always been suspicious of the fact that he has such a quick love interest in MC, I don't see the point in him trusting and liking lovingly so fast in someone he doesn't know, whenever things get tough, he loves to say sweet things to calm down.

I love Jake, but of all the questions he can ask a stranger he decides to ask if MC has a boyfriend? It's like he wants to make sure he can use this method and after episode 8 when we decided to tell how we felt about what happened with Richy, I found him so cold in his responses, trying to treat the situation as unimportant and that bad things happen and when he saw that he was not convinced, he started to say beautiful things, I found it strange that he thought about giving up his sister for a complete stranger, because that's what we are, we don't know Jake and neither does he know us.

Despite all the theories, I know that when I talk to Jake again I'm going to trust him completely, after all they are theories, but the signs are there.

(If Jake is manipulating MC I will cry for days)

Hey, dear Anon! <3

Thank you very much! I also hope that you have a nice day/evening/night. <3

Well, first of all, even though the topic hurts a little, just like with you, but I love talking about it.

And I apologize in advance that the answer has become so long. I didn't expect that myself. xD

I fully understand your thoughts about this, and I’m also afraid that Jake is just taking advantage of us. I try to be as neutral as possible, so as not to be completely biased.

Okay, so I can say for myself, and for many others, that we’re actually the same on that point with Jake. We also trust him incredibly fast although he is anything but trustworthy at the beginning.

You know, I think the relationship between MC and Jake is a little bit based on soul mates. That it’s not a coincidence that we get to know him and that we get along so quickly.

We write more with Jake than with the other characters with whom we can enter into a closer relationship. For example, Richy, even when you flirt with Richy, it goes very fast to the point where you can get closer to him.

I think in some ways this "everything goes fast" is also simply because of the way the game works. I mean, we can’t take so much time to get to know everybody.

We immediately talk to all the characters, and directly a lot. If it would take longer in the game, it would be strange firstly because of Hannah, because she would be kidnapped much longer, and secondly, there would be a lot of tension missing. At least I think so.

You know, I think he’s asking MC if we have a boyfriend, actually, is more of a sign that he’s really interested. I don’t consider Jake to be someone who gets closer to someone when the person is already in a relationship. I think he really wanted to know. Because if he did all this just to make us trust him, he might not care if MC is in a relationship or not.

As we can notice, Jake has a hard time getting social contacts, having a hard time with things like smalltalk, etc. he tells us (we can ask him that, but I think only in the premium version) that he is and always was alone. (I can’t remember his exact wording.) And later he tells us that Hannah and Lilly are the only family he has left.

I think MC has just been the first person to really care about him for a long time, asking him more private questions. Directly during our second conversation with him, we can talk to him about the desert island, and ask him, for example, which programs he uses to hack.

I think, as he says himself, we immediately had a good relationship with each other. And if he’s been alone for a long time, and then someone like MC comes and pays attention to his personality, and not just superficially, he enjoys it.

We have not been deterred by him and his performances, and have treated him as a normal person. Not, for example, like the government that sees him as a criminal, but we know he’s a hacker, but we don’t let that put us off.

In episode 8, when Lilly criticizes us for really trusting him, we can say that we had no choice. We had to trust him, to help Hannah.

And so it was for him with MC. He was just trying to save his sister who was kidnapped in front of him. And all of a sudden, our number comes from Hannah. He had as few options as we had. He’s just trying to find his sister, so he has to trust the person whose number seems to have something to do with it.

Moreover, we are all in a dark time. A kidnapper and murderer who kidnapped one person, murdered one person, and maybe even a second one, Richy.

Everything is always under stress and we are working hard to find and save Hannah. Stress, grief and worry. When two people like MC and Jake meet and have to work so closely together, then a little distraction is really good. Or being drawn closer to someone when you’re desperate.

And then he writes a pretty agitated message, I don’t know if you ever chose this option, I can recommend it to you.

I think we can see how Jake really is when we talk to him about that Hannah might have done something to herself.

Jake says, "But if you think she might have done something to herself, that’s out of the question."

We can then say it’s okay, and we’ll continue to talk to him. However, we can continue to talk about it and tell him, for example, that we should not exclude anything. He’s still stubborn, and we can tell him, "Why are you so stubborn?"

(well, unfortunately I can’t find the screenshot of this place and I can’t remember his exact wording)

However, he sounds so desperate and worried and it also sounds a bit like a reproach, so that he even apologizes afterwards and says that he did not want us to feel bad about him.

(Maybe there is someone here who has selected it and has a screenshot of it)

Yes, unfortunately Jake, in episode 8 when we talk about Richy, sounds and is very cold and emotionless. I think it’s just hard for him to understand how it felt. And "unfortunately" he is more focused on finding Hannah that is one of the only things that interest him.

I think Jake is also kind of blaming himself for not being able to help Hannah faster.

As we also know from episode 8, Hannah had sent him an email. However, this address was no longer active, and he only saw it when it was actually too late. He called her right away, but if he’d seen the message sooner, that might never have happened. Of course, it’s not his fault, but that’s how we humans are. And I think it’s the same with him.

If he feels guilty, I can understand that he wants to help so badly. He probably blames himself for breaking off contact with her at the time. That he didn’t dare tell his sister he is her brother.

Maybe then everything would have been different, and Hannah wouldn’t have ended up in this situation.

I think he was thinking of giving up on Hannah and running away with MC because it was stressful for him, too. He also suffers from the situation, but does not admit it to himself.

As he says himself, he tries to look at everything as objectively as possible, so he ignores what happened to Jessy and Richy. Because I think he’s also hiding his own feelings.

And in between, we can see him from the emotional side. Only rarely, but sometimes it happens.

And right now he realizes that for some time it would be easier to disappear with MC and turn your back on everything. Since the situation also burdens him, it is quite normal to think about choosing the easier way, which would also make him feel better.

But, as he also says, this would bring nothing. The responsibility would catch up with us and we would live forever with the guilt of just letting Hannah down.

And last but not least: the topic of manipulation.

And yes, that’s exactly what Jake is doing with us, manipulating us by using our feelings for him, and calming us down by telling us nice things.

Best we see this in episode 7. After his pursuers tried to hack us. Although he used this method before, manipulated us, but in episode 7 it is the most extreme to see.

However, I have to say that we are doing the same thing with him. We’re doing the same thing.

And best we see that, in episode 8.

When we tell him that the others want to see what we have for clues, etc., and the others want him to come into the group.

We know for a fact that Jake isn’t thrilled. But we get him to decide against it by saying, "I can’t do this without you."

And that’s actually also a point that shows me that Jake really likes us, he gives in and accepts the situation after we tell him that.

And that’s exactly what happens when we ask him to write the letter to Ted with Lilly, where we can tell him that we’d like him to be there. And from that moment, Jake says yes.

If he really didn’t want it, or he didn’t care that we told him we couldn’t do it without us, he wouldn’t give in.

He would just keep saying that he doesn’t want to and he doesn’t want to talk to us about it.

We wouldn’t even have time to contradict him, or just tell the others everything, since he could have erased any evidence from our phone.

He lets us manipulate him as much as he manipulate us.

And he writes when he joins the group chat that he wants to change his mind to tell the others everything, because of us.

And even the others realize that Jake likes us.

Lilly, for example, says (when we talk to her in episode 6) that he interrupted the vote, that his reaction wasn’t normal just because he cared about the subject. He’s very biased, not just because we’re important to him to save Hannah. It’s because we were treated unfairly by Lilly and the others.

Jessy says to Phil that there’s someone who likes us, but she doesn’t know if we’re reciprocating his feelings.

I don’t think I need to say anything about Dan, do I?

Jake and MC are not as inconspicuous together as the two think themselves.

I think I’ve addressed the most important things now, so I want to say an end conclusion: I really believe that Jake likes us and not just manipulates us. I really think he wants to get closer to us.

I’m not a psychologist or anything, of course, but I think Jake has some psychological problems that he might even know himself. Many things are difficult for him and I can often identify with him on this point.

His actions and manner are not always the right ways, sometimes he does not know how to behave and what is okay and what is not. We can see it with Jessy and Richy.

With us, he tries to show empathy and support us, which is why he wants us to rest a little afterwards.

Jake doesn’t seem to have had an easy life, and of course that leaves its mark. I don’t think he’s that cold sometimes because he means it badly.

I know we haven’t known him for long, but this whole situation is so special that it’s not surprising that MC and Jake get along so well and get closer.

Of course I can’t say exactly, maybe it’s really all just played by him, that we will only see at the end, but I don’t think that everything is fake.

--

And of course, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and theories with us. As you can see, I had a lot to say and really enjoyed answering that, and I hope I could help you a little bit.

So, I hope that I have not forgotten anything important now and that I have taken up everything I wanted to and can say. 😅

As I said, I don’t know everything myself, and this is just my opinion. I hope I’ve managed not to be so biased.

Take care of yourself and stay healthy, lovely Anon!💚🎭🌹

[eusuntgratie]

Nobody knows about Dylan's secret Instagram account. bilinski420 is anonymous with a generic Stiles headshot he found on his phone as its profile pic and a blank bio. He doodles around on Instagram, checking up on what everyone's doing, following a few fan pages, seeing what the latest rumours are, actively liking everything Taylor Swift has ever posted, and oh -

Well, there's Hoechlin.

For a man who doesn't post much content of himself, there sure is more than enough being posted about him. Dylan's feed is a mess of Swiftie conspiracy theories and his former co-star, in various states of undress and with various degrees of chest hair.

It's been ten years and Dylan still feels like that awkward nineteen year old who looked at Hoechlin and wanted.

He still wants, is the thing. A teenage crush it may have been, but it's matured like fine wine, into something shockingly undeniable.

He double taps another post to like it and scrolls down.

And nearly swallows his tongue.

He's used to Hoechlin's chest, the ridiculous muscles and the way they'd grease him up for Teen Wolf, but they'd always made him wax, at least until season four and they'd barely shared any scenes so it wasn't like Dylan had been able to just... perve on the scenery.

But this is a... gym selfie? A shirtless gym selfie. And indecently short shorts. Hoechlin's smiling like he's proud of himself, and damn right, he should be, because - guh.

Dylan doesn't reply to posts. He likes them and moves on. But. But - oh, what the hell, he's anonymous and he's only human.

bilinkski420 commented SIR.

He doesn't think anything more of it as he closes out of the app (not before screenshotting it, not that the fans will ever let that post disappear from memory). He gets off in the shower to thoughts of running fingers through coarse black chest hair, rubbing his cheek against wiry thighs and - and it's fine, it's fine. Maybe he needs to get laid, but it's fine.

He goes to bed, and really, that should be the end of it.

Spoiler alert: it's not.

His phone pings at some god awful hour which can only mean disaster. He groans and reaches for it and blinking bleary eyes tries to unlock it.

He has a WhatsApp message from Hoechlin.

Fuck. Okay, they do talk, but mostly in the group chat. Their last private conversation is dated three months ago.

Hoech: I saw you liked my post.

Dylan's stomach does something he didn't know it could do, sort of flips and sinks in on itself all at once.

He hates whoever came up with the idea for read receipts, and then sees Hoechlin's typing again.

Hoech: I liked the comment you left too.

Which - this has to be a cruel prank. Dylan stares at his phone. Then stares at it some more. Hoechlin is still online, waiting. Dylan doesn't dare tap out a single message.

An image comes through.

It's Hoechlin sprawled out on his bed, wearing nothing but his stupid I'm-very-manly-I-workout underwear, which just makes his thighs look obscene, actually, and Hoechlin's looking at the camera like he's looking into Dylan's soul and oh god.

Hoech: Yeah?

Dylan bites his bottom lip. Yeah, he types back hesitantly, and sends it.

A video call starts ringing through. He answers, still half asleep, adrenaline and excitement warring inside of him.

Hoechlin's face pops up at a slightly awkward angle and he's so him that Dylan can't help but smile. He's terrified, but Hoechlin puts him at ease. That smile. It could launch a thousand ships.

"Hey Dyl," Hoechlin says. "Sorry, I forgot it was early for you."

"It's okay," Dylan says. "How - how did you know?"

He needs to know. Hoechlin's beautiful and smart and funny, but he's not like, a detective, right? There's no way he could have known one anonymous account was Dylan.

"MTV never released the photo you're using as your profile pic. You asked for it. Said it made your nose look cute, which, it does. But it's not on Google. Everything's on Google, Dyl, but not that. It's okay," Hoechlin says, eyes scanning Dylan's face, looking for what? Hurt? Anger? Fear? "It's really okay. I'm not upset. Kinda flattered. Kinda wondering - been wondering for a while, actually. Whether you meant it. The likes, and then - well," Hoechlin chuckles. "Your comment. Felt kinda like maybe you had some feelings about the photo."

"I did, I mean, I do," Dylan says. "God, I do." He closes his eyes, and then opens them again. "If I was a fan, I'd be the kind of fan you should be crossing the street to avoid, and possibly calling the cops too. I'm pretty obsessed with you. Hoech, you're - you know. You have to know. Don't make me spell out how perfect you are this early in the morning. I'm compromised."

"I'm compromised too," Hoechlin says, and Dylan tries to breathe. It feels like his lungs are too tight. "Been trying to get you out of my head for years. Thought I could get it out of my system, but I can't. You're in there. Want to touch you. Just - think about it sometimes and don't know why we never tried that. Seems like we should have."

"You wanted that? Want that?" Dylan whispers. Hoechlin tilts his head. God, he's so perfect.

"Really do," Hoechlin replies.

"Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me," Dylan says. "How quick can you get on a plane?"

"Not quick enough, but I could make it work, if you wanted me to," Hoechlin says.

"Please," Dylan isn't above begging, so he begs.

"Please?" Hoechlin teases.

"Please, sir," Dylan says, and watches Hoechlin's eyes go dark even through the shitty resolution of the camera.

"I'll look at flights," Hoechlin says.

"Okay," Dylan says, disbelieving.

"Means I need to hang up the call now though," Hoechlin points out. He absently runs a hand up his chest and Dylan follows the movement.

"Is this real?" Dylan asks, and Hoechlin chuckles, face going all squinty and adorable.

"Yeah, baby, I think it is," Hoechlin says.

"You should go - flights, and that."

"See you soon," Hoechlin says, and the screen goes back to their conversation. Dylan, ridiculously, misses him.

Twenty minutes later, Hoechlin sends through a screenshot of a ticket confirmation. It leaves in an hour.

This is real.

Dylan can't quite believe it.

His phone shows a notification that Hoechlin has added a new Instagram story. He taps through to it.

It's just text, white on a blue background:

Ever think you're about to have a really good day?

Dylan smiles, and taps out a reply.

Yeah.

It gets marked as read.

(And yeah, he has a really, really good day.)

🥰😍🥰😍🥰😍

this is?!? So wonderful? The chest hair thirst? GYM SELFIE?!? THIGH THIRST? so much thirst but so sweet? Ahhhhhhhh

THANK YOU HOBRIEN ANON 💜💜💜