#I did this instead of focusing on art history

[daisyanimates]

I LIED I MADE IT IN 24 HOURS!!!! GET PRANKED!!!👹👹👹👹

Somewhat of a closeup

AU by: @chubbletea

AU Blog: @abeacontownwedding

I haven’t drawn these two in a hot minute dude I miss my lesbians

But I have a little project thingy that I’m working on :3 some of my friends had gotten sneak peaks but I’m writing a fanfic and holy moly it’s no where near done (that’s why I haven’t been drawing them enough- besides my totally secret S3 AU but that’s a post for another day)

When it’s finished I’ll drop the link (it will be on my ao3)

But anyways I hope you like it :3c

[beauty-and-passion]

Lore Olympus: a golden mine of bad writing

As I said, one post wasn’t enough.

There is still a lot to say about this webcomic and in this post I would like to talk about how Zeus, Apollo and Kronos have been treated. Here I will focus on the first two acts only, because the third act is not over, as well as the story. And yes, that means I will write another post when this whole thing is over.

I wanted to focus on these three gods in particular because are treated in a way that baffles me and makes me question what did they ever do to Mrs. Smythe. Tell me, Rachel: was it something personal? Did they do something to your family? What happened?

But maybe you don’t understand my point, especially if you haven’t read the Greek myths at all and you think that these three are just “Unfaithful Guy”, “Rapist” and “Evil Villain Har Har Who Also Wants To Rape”. Seriously, what’s with this weird obsession with raping everyone and with sex? Did Mrs. Smythe ever see anything else in myths, besides sex?

So please, allow me to explain why their characterizations are wrong and boring - and no, not just from a mythological point of view. 

_______________________________

Zeus: the walking clichè

Making Zeus an asshole is understandable, even if utterly boring and clichè. Oh wow, he's an unfaithful husband and he's vain. Very original. Groundbreaking, I'd say. I’ve never read about him being unfaithful to his wife, not even once in all the 200 million retellings made during the history of mankind.

It's a shame because Zeus is much more than that. He's a mighty ruler with a strong sense of justice: in several myths, he punished the assholes for their wrongdoings. He's very clever and strong. He's also associated with xenia, the custom of offering protection to strangers, which means Zeus is also a protector of foreigners.

I mean, this information alone offers so many new perspectives about him! Just imagine if, instead of hanging around and doing nothing useful aside from being everyone’s favorite punching bag, Zeus fought against every corrupt system of the mortal realm, in order to protect the foreigners and the innocents. It would’ve been so cool to see a different side of him, instead of the same thing over and over again!

But nope, Zeus = unfaithful husband only. Let’s ignore all the other aspects of him, to focus on the one everyone focuses on. Let’s make him the umpteenth version of the same guy, instead of offering a new vision. This will surely make the story worth everyone’s time!

Rachel, this could’ve worked if I was 12 and had never read a retelling in my entire life. But since I’m more than twice that age, seeing Zeus as an unfaithful husband again doesn’t get my interest. And I’m sure this doesn’t only apply to me, but to everyone who already saw at least two retellings of him. Isn’t this story supposed to be new and original? Then why are we still picking from the same old clichè visions of these gods? Where is the writer’s personality and ability?

_______________________________

Apollo: king of wasted potentials

I am absolutely, completely, 100% baffled at how Apollo has been treated in this story.

It's insulting to see the most beloved Greek god treated as a bidimensional piece of shit. Not only because he doesn't make any sense in the story (why is he here in the first place? Did Persephone and Apollo even interact in any myth?), but also because there are so many different possibilities for him, that seeing him being this is the biggest waste of potential I’ve ever seen.

A brief recap of who Apollo really is: Apollo is the embodiment of the sun. He is the god of arts and crafts. He's the most beautiful god, he embodies the concept of perfect Greek beauty. And he is associated with a lot of cool stuff, like medicine, truth and oracles. Also, like most of the other Greek gods, Apollo had many male and female lovers.

Now, look me in the eye and tell me that, with all of this, your first idea about him is "yeah, let's make him a stupid rapist, so stupid to not realize that hey, maybe forcing a girl to sleep with you will not make her fall in love with you". Oh and let's not forget he randomly decided he wanted Zeus' throne just after the fertility plot point had been introduced Because Yes. And he’s running for president of Whatever-Land Because Yes. Also, he’s currently involved again in another evil plot Because… yeah, you got it.

It’s just so frustrating to see him being the biggest loser of all time, considering how much cooler he could’ve been. Just think about it: we could've had a bisexual musician, who does concerts with his band (the Muses) and has a shit ton of lovers. We could’ve had a heartbroken doctor, who does his best to save everyone because he has not been able to save his own son from death (Asclepius). We could've had a mysterious advisor who can see the future because of his foresight powers.

What did we get instead? A fucking rapist.

Apollo is nothing but wasted potential. He’s an insult to himself, the story, common sense, and the Greek culture. Of all the incredible things he could've been, he became the most insulting of them all. I really cannot bear to see this fucking idiot and his punching-bag face, pretending to be Apollo. He’s not Apollo.

But if there is a guy I can see less than him, then let me introduce you to…

_______________________________

Kronos: Supreme Master of Wasted Potential

First of all: why is Kronos here? Why does this love story need Persephone to defeat a big bad guy? Just to show how cool and badass she is? Considering that their fight was a joke, it didn't work very well.

But okay, let's say we need a villain Because Yes. Kronos is still a huge waste of potential, probably the biggest waste of potential of the whole series until now. He could’ve been an interesting, multifaceted character, but he became a cartoonish supervillain har-har I want power.

Sigh.

But let’s take a step back and talk about the real, mythological Kronos. His story starts with his parents, Uranus and Gaia. The two had a lot of sons, including Titans (like Kronos) and Hecatonchires (monsters with fifty heads and one hundred arms). Disgusted by their monstrous nature or maybe just out of fear of being overthrown, Uranus chained his sons away into Gaia's womb (aka the Tartarus) so that they could never come out again.

Gaia suffered from this decision, so she devised a plan: she made a stone sickle, gathered her sons and tried to persuade them to castrate Uranus.

All of her sons were afraid of Uranus, Kronos was the only one brave enough to do it. And he was successful: he overthrew his father and became the new ruler of the universe, along with his wife/sister Rhea.

However, after becoming king, he didn't free all of his brothers as his mother wanted, but locked Hecatonchires and Cyclopes away once again. And so, Gaia told him that, one day, he would meet his father’s same fate and be overthrown by one of his own children.

Scared by these words, Kronos devised a plan: every time he had a new child, he took the baby from Rhea and swallowed them. Rhea was desperate and, in order to save her last son Zeus, she sought Gaia's help.

So Rhea gave birth to Zeus in a secret place, then handed Kronos a stone wrapped in clothes: he swallowed it, thinking that it was his son. This way, Zeus managed to escape the same fate as his siblings and was raised in secret, away from his father, until he was old enough to come back and fulfill his destiny.

And now, you may think Zeus overthrew his father with a sword and killed him and nah nah nah, myths are not that stupid and predictable. Zeus didn’t use violence to overthrow his father, but intelligence. He disguised himself to reach Kronos' court and, at the right time, he gave him a drink. That drink was an emetic (given by Gaia), that forced Kronos to throw up everything he swallowed, in reverse order: first the stone he thought was his last son, then Zeus' brothers and sisters.

After freeing his siblings, Zeus did what his father would've never done: he released the Hecatoncheires and the Cyclops to help him in the following battle against Kronos and the other Titans, a battle known as Titanomachy.

The war ended with the victory of the Olympians (i.e. Zeus and his siblings). Many Titans were confined in Tartarus, under the Hecatonchires' control, others were not imprisoned and kept appearing in other myths.

And Kronos? His fate differs depending on the myths. In some versions, he was imprisoned in Tartarus. But according to other, more interesting versions, Zeus forgave him after years, freed him and Kronos became king of the Elysian Fields: the famous earthly paradise reserved for the greatest Greek heroes.

Now. Just look at all of this beautiful, beautiful potential.

We have Gaia, a powerful goddess who overthrew two rulers of the universe, without moving a finger. A goddess strong and clever, but also a mother who wanted all of her children to be free - even the most hideous ones. She could’ve been a tragic figure, a master manipulator, or an evil schemer. Or all these things!

We have the Hecatonchires: fighters so powerful, to turn the tide of any battle. They could’ve been scary and intimidating, but also tragic monsters who just wanted to be accepted. They could’ve taught a beautiful lesson about the importance of accepting the ugly and giving everyone a chance to prove themselves.

Then we have Kronos. And Kronos had everything to be the greatest character.

Think about this concept: Kronos has always been afraid of Uranus, just like his brothers. He was just better at hiding his feelings. And that visceral fear is still inside him, it still haunts him after centuries, just like the memory of how he overthrew his father. And that fear takes the shape of paranoid thoughts about his father coming back to take the throne.

Kronos could’ve seen his father haunting him, but he could’ve also dissociated and seen himself as his father. In his altered state of mind, he could’ve been both the king and the one who overthrows him.

That could’ve made him a truly dangerous, unhinged character. A god who can’t see what’s real anymore, obsessed with the ghosts of his past. A god with nothing to lose and everything to gain. After all, if he kills his children again, the throne would be his once more. And, since he sees himself as himself and as his father at the same time, he would think that he is the "true king" coming back to take his throne.

That could’ve been awesome. Kronos could've been complex, desperate and multifaceted, a villain to pity and to be afraid of. A truly new, interesting version to know and love.

And do you have any idea how incredible Zeus could’ve been in this version? We could see him facing Kronos again, still as strong and determined as when he was young. And while everyone would expect him to kill Kronos, he would use his intelligence once again. He would prove to Kronos (and to everyone else) how intelligence is always superior to violence and how he's a good leader, despite his thousands of flaws.

Also, we could've seen Zeus talking to the defeated Kronos and making him the ruler of the Elysian Fields. We could've had a meaningful ending, in which Zeus understands Kronos' fears and shares his own.

I would’ve adored this, because according to the myth, Zeus was also supposed to be overthrown by a son! Hence why he swallowed Metis (his first wife) while she was pregnant.

The myth never truly clarifies who this supposed "son" is, but according to the different versions, Metis was pregnant not with a son, but with a daughter. A daughter who, one day, would be born, full grown, from Zeus' head. A daughter who would become Zeus' favorite child: Athena.

Honestly? I ADORE the idea that there was never a son to overthrow Zeus, but a daughter. And she would not overthrow his father by violence like her grandfather or by intelligence like her father, but by love. Athena doesn't need to take the throne from her father physically, she doesn't even need to sit on that throne: not when her father loves her more than anything else.

And I love the idea that Zeus is aware of that. He knows his daughter is his weakness. He knows that, if she asks, he will willingly give her that throne, because he loves her too much. And I would've loved to see him sharing these thoughts with the defeated Kronos. It could've been a beautiful moment, to see Zeus talking with the fatherly figure he always missed from his life. It could've led to a beautiful, meaningful ending for a dramatic story.

But can you see the problem here? This concept works for a story about Zeus, not about Hades and Persephone! These two have nothing to do with Kronos! Heck, even Rachel Smythe knows it, considering she had to pull a stupid plot point out of thin air, to explain why Kronos would give a damn about Persephone!

In case you were wondering: yes, the fertility-magical-power-battery-thing is bullshit. Gods don’t need a magical battery to be powerful. And no, fertility goddesses are not rare either: Aphrodite, Demeter, Hera, even Artemis are just a few of the fertility goddesses in Greek mythology. Kronos could’ve picked his favorite from a large pool, instead of becoming an absolute creep with Persephone in the stupidest fight of all time.

And speaking of that, two words on the supposed “fight”. First of all, apologies to all fights for being associated with this thing, because this was anything but a fight: it was a cartoonish conversation accompanied by the umpteenth sexualization of Persephone, who first appeared fully naked, then with a dress so stupid to defy the laws of physics and perspective.

And if you don’t believe me, please see it by yourself: this is how the dress was supposed to be, according to episode 75

This is how it ended up. Apparently, the Fates didn’t predict how huge Persephone’s boobs would be and the neckline didn’t grow accordingly: I feared to see one of them slipping out from it anytime during the “fight”

Also, please appreciate how Persephone is turned to the side, but the dress’ stupidly huge neckline is shown from the front, otherwise we would’ve seen her full naked boobs.

And that stupid neckline kept bothering me throughout the whole “fight”, because it kept changing size. Check the episodes and see it by yourself: sometimes it’s smaller, other times it’s wider and it keeps moving in impossible ways. It drove me insane.

But since we’re talking about drawings, please allow me a very brief parenthesis about them too.

_______________________________

The drawings are a joke

I am not an artist. I can barely draw a straight line by hand. But I studied art history, perspective, proportions and colors, so I’m not completely clueless.

But you don’t need to be clueless, to notice how bad the drawings became. If you have two eyes and saw another human being in your life before, then you can notice by yourself how bad they are.

It’s not a secret that Lore Olympus’ art style changed over time. In the beginning, this comic was characterized by a lot of straight lines and geometric shapes, alternating and mixing with gentle curves. There were blur effects, colored outlines, a lot of details that gave an overall dreamy, ethereal vibe to every chapter (like the soft glow that accompanied the gods).

But as the story progressed, these elements disappeared. The geometric shapes gave way to an overall “softness” and roundness. The dreamy vibes and blur effects were replaced by sharper, clearer drawings. A distinct black outline now marks every character.

And speaking of characters, they were the ones who changed more. Lore Olympus always had funny, silly faces but the characters were also able to be serious and look natural. Now all we have are grotesque faces: the characters are a collection of caricatures and no one has a normal expression anymore. Check by yourself, by confronting a random episode of the third act with the first one: they’re two different worlds.

The disproportions were common too, since episode one. But at least they were somehow plausible, while now they’re completely absurd. It’s as if Mrs Smythe completely forgot what a human being looks like.

And this is pretty evident in how all characters became a rough draft of the two protagonists: all women got Persephone’s face, all men become buff and huge, with wide-ass shoulders and teeny tiny heads. This is particularly obvious at the end of season 2 / start of season 3, when we see some of the funniest images ever, like Hades with a tiny head and shoulders as wide as the entire USA

Or this hilariously bad image of Zeus with clown shoes and a head as big as his deformed hand.

No excuse can justify these drawings: no one is running after Mrs Smythe, nor forcing her to draw, and people are paying her real money to work on this webcomic. The least she can do is draw something that doesn’t look like a bad distortion of a human being.

Unless this isn’t her drawing, but her staff’s work. In that case, they are still paid to do their job, right? Or do they think this story is a joke and decide to show how much of a joke it is, by turning everyone into a grotesque caricature?

_______________________________

In conclusion

Lore Olympus is hilarious because of how bad the writing is. It’s a manual example of how not to write a climax for your story. It’s a perfect demonstration of how you can still fail, even with great characters with endless possibilities. It’s a list of all the mistakes you can make as an artist.

If you’re a writer or an artist in general, please check Lore Olympus and study it. Here you will find everything you should never do and all the mistakes you should never make.

As a writer myself, I appreciate Lore Olympus, because I need works that teach me what I shouldn’t do. Good teachers are useful, but bad ones are even more useful, because it’s thanks to them that I can learn and grow and make better stories. Lore Olympus might be a failure from an artistic and writing point of view, but it might also serve as a foundation, from which other people can develop better ideas.

Actually, it already did it! Do you want to read a better story, rose from the disappointing ashes of Lore Olympus? Then check Lore Rekindled and @genericpuff: you will find their work here on Tumblr. They planned everything ahead and it’s pretty clear by reading it. The characters make more sense, the events have a more logical explanation. And the art style is much, much better than the last Lore Olympus.

We will meet again for the third and (for now) final post about this series, a much-needed post about the protagonists of this story: Hades, Persephone and Demeter.

<- Previous post - Next post ->

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

@royalprinceroman @mudpuddlenl @allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia @whatishappeningrightnow  @effortiswhatmatters @bella-in-a-bag  @doydoune @forever-third-wheeling​ @payte @hypnossanders​  @idontreallyknow24​  @imcrushedbyarainbowoffical​ @patton-cake​  @hereissananxiousmess​  @purplebronzeandblue​  @cynicalandsarcastic​ ​@lost-in-thought-20​ @andtheyreonfire​ 

@riseofthewerewolf​ @rosesandlove44​​  @chewy-rubies @groaaaaan​ @arya-skywalker  @csi-baker-street-babes @queen-of-all-things-snuggly @reesiereads

@dracayd-universe​ @starlightnyx​ @stubbornness-and-spite​ @averykedavra @joyrose-fandomer @mihaela-tbg @igonnatalknothing

@thatoneloudowl  @grayson-22  @softangryfuckingdepressed @theotherella  @boopypastaissalty @nevenastark @varthandiveturinn @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside  @coldbookworm  @snixxxsmythe @charmingcritter  @analogical-mess @emphasis-on-the-oopsie @selfdestructivecat @yangwalkerao3 @the3rddenialist

[heartateasee]

“One”

Word Count: 7.4k

(Part one of “Goodnight and Go”)

⋆★★⋆

Sitting in the extremely overpriced restaurant for my sister Gwen's birthday, I look over to my friend, Kieran, who's to the right of me. I tip my head back in a laugh at something she said as Harry makes his way back to the table after dismissing himself to the bathroom. He and Gwen are seated across from us, and I look over at him with a smile. I can tell that something's been nagging at him all night - the look in his eyes showing that he kept going somewhere else, and wasn't exactly present during conversation.

I kept trying to meet his gaze every now and then, to try to give him some kind of expression to ask what was wrong, but he grew too fidgety for that. Kieran continues to talk to me while I hold my glass with my cocktail in it against my chest, still keeping my sight set on Harry as he takes his seat again - his eyes never meeting mine. His arm drapes over the back of Gwen's chair, and I watch as the tips of his fingers caress the outside of her arm.

Swallowing harshly, I look away from them and back over to Kieran, engaging in our previous conversation as to get my mind off of whatever my best friend could be going through. I knew Gwen had been a bit demanding on how she wanted this birthday dinner to go, considering it was her 30th, and I figured that maybe Harry was just anxious about making sure that everything went the way she hoped. He always hated disappointing her, and he always strived to make sure he did right by her.

But that's who Harry is. He's always a people pleaser - never wanting to upset anyone.

We had already made our way through our meals, and we were all waiting for the dessert to be served. My parents sat on the other side of Gwen, and I watched as my mom continued to gush about her oldest turning 30 - tears springing to her eyes as she went on about it. I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes at that. It wasn't that my parents preferred Gwen over me, but she was definitely more successful than I currently am, and they took every opportunity to brag about her accomplishments.

That's not to say that they aren't proud of me as well, but it's a lot easier to brag about your daughter who's a country renowned interior designer instead of your daughter who's currently finishing up her tattooing apprenticeship. They've had several conversations with me about how they didn't mind the career path I had gone with, but they were a bit disappointed that I had decided to use my art degree on tattooing instead of going into a different field of art.

The only person who really encouraged me to follow my apprenticeship was Harry, which wasn't surprising considering all the ink that adorned his body. I've had the honor of tattooing him a few times, nothing super big, but it meant a lot that he trusted me in that way. Just recently he let me tattoo a bird cage among his ribs, and before that it was an eagle on his forearm. Gwen doesn't mind tattoos, she has a small one herself, but she wasn't super thrilled at the fact that Harry had added to the existing ink on his arms - on display most of the time for others to see.

A few minutes pass before Harry clears his throat and stands from the table again, and I look up to him as his eyes scan over all of us. "Good evening everyone," he says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dress pants as he looks back over to Gwen. "I just wanted to take a moment to say some words about the birthday girl before our dessert gets here."

Everyone quiets down, and their attention quickly becomes focused on him.

"As you know, Gwen and I have been dating for the past six years, all thanks to the help of my best friend, and her sister, Carter," he gestures his hand over to me as he speaks, and I hope the expression I give him comes off as adoration, and not one of jealousy. "I was introduced to Gwen not too long after Carter and I finished college, and I guess the rest is history."

He looks over at Gwen who's staring up at him with the widest smile, and I can see the love she has for him swirling in her eyes as he continues. "These past six years have been truly the best ones of my life. From the time Gwen and I started dating, we've practically been inseparable, but I guess that's what happens when you just know," he chuckles nervously as he brings a hand up to rub the back of his neck. "She's definitely wrangled me in a bit, because if you had seen me in college, like Carter had, you would know I was a bit wild."

I can't help but let out a giggle at that statement because it was nothing but the truth. Harry and I got into so much trouble during those four years together, and I'm honestly shocked that we even graduated on time with how much we would party.

"It's been such an honor to watch Gwen grow in her career, and to also have her encourage me with mine," Harry was now head of an art gallery, and he works from home mostly. I know he adores his job. "I'm also a little happy that she's turning 30 before me so I can hold that over her head for a bit."

Gwen lets out a loud laugh, reaching out to swat the back of her hand against Harry's stomach playfully - causing him to chuckle. I watch as they hold each other's eyes, and then Harry slips his hand into the front pocket of his blazer.

"With all that being said, Gwen is absolutely the love of my life, and I couldn't imagine going through the rest of this life without her," Harry speaks as he lowers himself onto one knee, holding out a small ring box that he opens up. "So, Gwen Adams, will you marry me?"

Almost instantly the noises around me muffle, and I feel my pulse quicken in its pace. I stare at the scene in front of me, my best friend on his knee in front of my sister, asking her to spend the rest of their lives together.

My best friend. The man I'm utterly in love with.

I can feel that my eyes are wide, and I know my expression is one of complete shock, but my mind cannot find the motions to help me change my face. This was a surprise to say the least. Harry hadn't said a single thing to me about proposing to Gwen, and although the act of it all is painful for me, it's even more painful that he wouldn't even tell me that this is what he was planning.

Was I even his best friend anymore?

I shouldn't be surprised though.

When I introduced Gwen and Harry for the first time, I didn't think anything of their interaction. Harry lived in my parents house with us briefly between finishing college and starting his new job as the apartment he had found couldn't let him move in until August. It was a wonderful summer that consisted of Harry and I lounging around the pool mostly, both of us starting our new jobs in the fall to give us some time off after graduating. We owed it to ourselves because even though we still had fun in college, we absolutely worked our asses off for our degrees.

Never once did I really see Gwen and Harry hanging out, or even speaking without me present when he lived with us. Once Harry moved out, and we both started working, it damaged me a bit. We would go a week or so without seeing each other, and that was so unlike us, but we were both busy.

It was almost two months after Harry's move out that Gwen and I were hanging out in my room one night, both of us on our laptops basically doing nonsense. That was when she first told me that Harry had asked her out on a date, and to say I was shocked would be an understatement. And just like right now, I was shocked that Harry hadn't even said anything to me about them dating.

Sure, I knew that it might be a bit awkward for him to tell me that he had asked my sister on a date, but I thought we were close enough to where we could open in that way. It hurt to have to find out from Gwen, and not Harry himself.

After their first date happened, I stood and watched as their relationship progressed, and I can't even count how many times I laid in my bed those first few months - crying myself to sleep. I had no one to blame myself, and I knew that. Never once did I make Harry aware of what I was feeling towards him. I had been scared to tell him, and I realized it was much too late to do so given that he was involved with my sister.

So I did what any loving sister would do, because I do adore my sister, no matter how much we butt heads. I kept my mouth shut, and I stood alongside them as they figured out their relationship - watching as it blossomed. If the relationship had failed, I wouldn't have hesitated to tell Harry how I felt, not wanting to make the same mistake twice. However, their relationship only grew stronger, and I loved both Harry and my sister so much that I would never impose on what they were creating.

I'm drawn out of my thoughts when I hear Gwen's chair scratch against the ground. "Yes!"

Tears begin to burn in my eyes, and I force a smile on my lips so those around me think they're tears of joy, when truly they're tears of pure confusion. There's a part of me that is so happy for the both of them, but another part of me is devastated. Unless something drastic happens between the two of them, I know this is it.

Every chance I've had at the future I've so helplessly envisioned with Harry is shattered in this very moment.

"No question, Harry, yes," Gwen squeals as she hops up from her seat, wrapping her arms around Harry's neck as he wraps his around her waist - lifting her from the ground to twirl her around.

Once he sets her down, I watch as he slips the ring onto her finger - their lips immediately connecting afterwards.

I join along in the clapping around me once I realize it's happening. I blink, and tears begin to stream down my cheeks. It's evident I need to step away for a moment before I embarrass myself in front of everyone.

Sucking in deep breaths, I push myself up from the table, and I spare no one a second glance as I practically stumble towards the bathrooms. I push myself inside as a sob bellows from my lips - echoing off the tiled walls around me. My hands grip to one of the marbled sinks as I tuck my chin to my chest. I feel as if every part of my body could just give away, and it's all my fault. This is my doing. I have no one to blame but myself for the way I'm feeling.

I lift a hand to slam against the mirror in front of me - shaking my head. There's nothing more I need than to calm myself down. Gwen is someone who can read people like an open book most of the time, and if I go back out looking like a mess she will question me to no end.

Realizing I was very much out in the open in this bathroom, I made my way into one of the stalls - shutting and locking the door behind me. I grabbed some toilet paper and dabbed underneath my eyes to try and dry up my tears without smearing my makeup around.

I didn't even hear the door to the bathroom open until I heard my name. "Carter?"

Instantly I recognize the voice as Kieran, and I bite down on my bottom lip to try and swallow down some of the sadness in my voice before answering. "I'll be out in just a minute."

I look down to see that Kieran is now standing in front of my stall.

"I can tell you're crying. Please, open the door and let me in."

Sighing, I unlock the stall door, and I swing it open to see Kieran with a frown already on her face. She opens up her arms, and walks forward as if she wants to hug me, but I quickly put one of my hands up to stop her.

"Don't," I whisper, shaking my head. "If you hug me right now I'll lose it completely, and then I'll have to go home."

Kieran drops her arms with a nod. "I understand. I just hate seeing you like this, and I know what just happened out there is crushing you."

"He didn't even tell me, K," my bottom lip trembles as I speak. "Why wouldn't he tell me?"

"I-I don't know. I don't know why-"

"And my parents didn't mention it either, and I know Harry would have asked my dad for permission before proposing. I don't understand," I can feel myself getting worked up again, but I can't stop. "This is really it. No turning back now for either of them. It's final."

"No, not yet," Kieran says, reaching out to take my hand that wasn't holding onto toilet tissue. "Carter, I know you've never wanted to tell him how you feel, but if you don't do it soon, you'll never be able to. I think you owe it to yourself with how long you've kept it inside to tell him before it really is final."

"That's selfish," I state firmly. "I can't do that to Harry, or to Gwen."

"It might be selfish, yes, but you deserve to be a little selfish every once and a while. I know it's dangerous considering it's your sister, and he's your best friend, but I think you'll regret it in the long run if you never tell him."

Silence takes over, and I feel Kieran rubbing her thumb against the back of my hand. "I need to get back out there," I say, and I move around her to exit the stall.

Standing in front of the mirror, I fix my hair up a little bit, and then I run the tissue underneath my eyes to clean up the mascara that had gathered there. My eyes are red, and it'll be obvious that I was crying, but everyone out there is currently crying due to this engagement. I'm hoping it'll just look like that's what happened to me as well, and that they're not tears of absolute devastation.

"I'm not going to force you to do anything, obviously I can't," Kieran places her hand on my back. "But definitely think it over, alright? It's Harry, and you've known him for how long now? Nine years? Almost ten? I think that he would want you to be honest with him."

I breathe out a shaky sigh as I pull my sheer lip gloss out of the pocket of my dress, running the applicator over my lips. "What if he tells her though? I wouldn't blame him for telling her either, but she'll lose it. I probably wouldn't be invited to the wedding anymore. She would more than likely keep me from seeing him in general."

"I don't think he'd tell her if you asked him not to," Kieran's voice is soft as she speaks to me, and I meet her eyes in the mirror. "I know you guys may have drifted apart just a little bit, but he's still Harry. He cares about you enough to separate some things when it comes to you and Gwen."

I know that if I continue to keep talking about this now that there's no way I'll be able to go back out there and look presentable. "I'll see you at the table, okay?"

Looking away from Kieran, I begin to wash my hands in the sink, focusing on taking deep breaths to keep myself as calm as possible. I see the door to the bathroom open out of my peripheral and I know that she's left me. I pull my hands out from under the running water, having them quiver as I grab a few paper-towels to dry them off.

I take one last look in the mirror before giving myself a nod. My heart pounds as I make my way back to the table, and I see that my mom is holding Gwen's hand in hers - completely making over the ring while Harry is talking to my dad. Sitting myself back down, I can see that Kieran is keeping her sights on me as I gulp down the rest of my cocktail that was extremely watered down by now. It didn't seem like too many people noticed my absence, thankfully, and I left and came back practically undetected.

The wait staff comes back out with the trays of dessert, and Gwen and Harry take their seats again as they begin to put them down onto the tables in front of us.

"Excuse me," I speak up as the one waiter who had been taking care of our table specifically tonight places my cheesecake in front of me. "Would it be possible for me to have another cocktail and a shot of silver Casamigos, please?"

He gives me a nod and continues to serve the desserts to the others, and I hear Gwen let out a laugh.

"You're not going to order me a shot for my birthday or to, I don't know, celebrate my engagement, Carter?"

I look over to her, and I immediately feel Kieran's hand giving my knee a squeeze underneath the table.

"You don't like tequila," I speak up, and I can feel Harry's eyes burning into the side of my face as I stare at my sister. "Besides, you're usually not one for shots either."

Gwen rolls her eyes and leans over to whisper something into Harry's ear. He looks over to her with a nod, and he too grabs our waiter before he's able to walk away from the table. "Can we have two shots of Fireball whenever you get a chance, please?"

Now I'm the one who wants to let out a laugh when I hear Harry order shots of Fireball. He absolutely despises it, and I've known that since the first party we attended together. He's always been a tequila guy when it came to shots. Fuck, he was the reason that I even started to drink tequila. He told me that over time that I'd get used to it, and he was right - now it's the only thing I can take shots of.

"Congratulations, by the way," I say, but I'm no longer looking at Gwen.

I'm looking directly at Harry as his dark sage eyes meet mine. He lets them hang there for a minute before he looks away. It's obvious he's feeling some sort of shame for keeping this from me.

"Thanks, Carter," Gwen answers for both of them as we begin to dig into our desserts.

It's only a few minutes later when the waiter comes and drops off a fresh cocktail for me, as well as the shots that we had ordered. As much as I want to just gulp this shot down by myself, I know that I need to do something so I don't keep making myself seem so obvious.

I take in a deep breath as I remove my napkin from my lap, and I stand. I'm holding my shot in my hand, and it's not until I tap my knife lightly against my glass that I capture everyone's attention.

"Hi, good evening," I huff out a nervous laugh as the conversation starts to die down, and I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear with my freehand. "As you all know, I'm Carter, Gwen's little sister, and I'm also one of Harry's best friends-"

"My best friend," Harry interrupts, and I look down at him for a moment. His face holds a tenderness that I know is caused by the mixed feelings he's been seeming to battle all evening, and as much as I want to continue to be angry with him, I can't help but send him a smile.

"Sorry, Harry's best friend," I giggle, causing others to laugh around the table as well. "And I just want to say that I'm extremely proud of the successes that Gwen has been able to accomplish over these last few years. Not everyone can say that their sister is an interior designer that's known nationwide, am I right?

"But on top of that, I've obviously been around for Gwen and Harry's relationship from the beginning, having introduced the two of them, and it's been such a joy watching their relationship flourish," the words feel like acid on my tongue as they fall from my mouth, but I keep up my charade. I have to - not only for them, but also for me. "It'll be nothing but beautiful to watch the two of you grow even further together, now for the rest of your lives. Cheers to you both, and happy birthday, Gwen!"

I lift my shot in the air, Gwen and Harry lifting theirs as well as everyone around us lifts their glasses in celebration. The burn of the clear liquor causes me to cough a bit once I swallow, and I set my empty shot glass back down onto the table. I take my seat back down next to Kieran who turns to me with a smile.

"That was really nice, Car," she whispers, taking her hand in mine - rubbing the pad of her thumb against the back of it. "I know they both appreciated it."

Kieran has been one of my best friends since ninth grade, and she was the first person from back home to actually meet Harry when she came to visit me for a weekend when I was in college. She tried to tell me back then that I had feelings for Harry, and I vehemently denied it, but I knew that deep down she was right. I hadn't even realized myself really when she brought it up.

Of course, Harry and Kieran hit it off right away. Harry is always so good with new people - something that I've struggled with, but he's actually helped me a lot these last few years when it comes to coming out of my shell more.

"I had to say something," I say lowly. "Gwen would never let me hear the end of it if I didn't say something about it being her birthday, and now her engagement day."

The rest of the night continues, and before I know it, we're all getting up and heading out of the restaurant. Kieran had already slipped out earlier as she had to get up early for work tomorrow, so I was pretty much on my own for the last thirty minutes of dinner.

We begin to say our goodbyes, and after I hug my parents, I head over to Gwen and Harry.

"Thanks for your speech, sis. It was sweet," Gwen says as she hugs me, planting a kiss to my cheek before she walks over to one of her friends. I can hear them behind me squealing, and I know they're probably fawning over her ring.

Harry has his hands tucked in his pockets as he walks closer to me, sending me a soft smile.

"So you're marrying my sister, huh?" I ask, tilting my head to the side. "I definitely wasn't expecting you to pop the question tonight."

"I honestly wasn't really either," he shrugs, licking over his bottom lip. "I just asked your dad last week, and got the ring a couple of days ago. It had been something that I had been thinking about for a while, but I didn't know when I wanted to do it. I figured tonight was good considering a lot of the people who care most about her would be here."

Well, at least he didn't have this planned for months without telling me.

I hum in response, giving him a small nod before looking out to the parking lot to see if my Uber that I had ordered myself was approaching or not.

"I wanted to tell you about it too. I promise, Carter," Harry continues, and I look back over to him to see his sage eyes pleading with me to believe him. "I'm not going to lie though...it kind of slipped my mind with how chaotic planning got for tonight overall."

His words can't help but feel like a stab to my heart. So he just forgot about me?

"Don't worry about it," I say, clipping my words slightly. I want him to know that I'm upset.

Harry's eyebrows narrow at the tone I'm using, and I turn my attention back to the parking lot when I hear rocks crunching near the sidewalk. I clear my throat and tilt my head towards the car. "That's me."

Harry purses his lips to the side as he walks me over to the car, and he opens the backdoor for me before peering over to the driver. "Who are you here for?"

I try not to let that feeling he gives me swirl in my stomach too much, but knowing that he's always continuing to look after me has the way I feel about him pushing forward. He's always been so adamant about me asking the rideshare about who they're here for, instead of asking them if they're here for me - just in case.

"Carter," the man replies, and Harry gives him a nod.

He looks back down at me, and he quickly wraps his arms around me - bringing me into his body. I suck in a deep breath, getting a noseful of his signature cologne, and I close my eyes. As much as I want to fight it, I hold him back with my hands pressed against his shoulder blades.

"Text me when you get home, okay?" Harry mumbles against the top of my head after planting a kiss against it.

"Okay," I sigh, my voice slightly muffled due to the way I have my cheek squished against his chest.

"And I'm sorry," he whispers. "I want to make it up to you. It was shitty for me not to tell you. Let's find a day to hang out soon, just you and I."

I lift my head up as he does, and I force myself not to get lost in his eyes. "Sure, yeah. We can figure it out tomorrow."

Harry gives me a smile, his bunny teeth just barely peeking out from under his top lip. "Okay."

I reluctantly drop my arms from around him, knowing he's never one to break a hug first, and I slide into the backseat of my Uber. Harry makes sure I have my legs inside before leaning down. "Goodnight, Carter."

"Goodnight, Harry."

Harry shuts the door, and I lay my head back against the headrest as we drive off. I fiddle with the ring on my index finger, spinning it around and around as I replay tonight in my head. A feeling of guilt overwhelms me when I realize that any other normal sibling would be happy that their sister got engaged, but I'm over here in agony - only thinking about how her getting married will also make the man I love completely unattainable.

Not only did it make me feel guilty, it just made me feel gross overall. It's not like Gwen knew how I felt about Harry, so who am I to feel such distaste towards her, and this engagement? It would be different if she knew I was in love with him, but she doesn't. No one but Kieran does, and the only reason why she knows is because it slipped out during a drunk night at a party.

Ironically enough, it was a lot like tonight, and I was crying in the bathroom after witnessing Harry and Gwen make out for the first time on the couch. We were all drunk off of our asses, and that's the reason why I knew Harry was okay with doing that in front of everyone because he's usually very private when it comes to such things.

Kieran had found me in the upstairs bathroom, and she forced her way in and held me on the cold tiled floor as I cried. It was embarrassing to say the least, but she's never judged me for it. I just kept babbling over and over again about how much I loved him, and how I just wish I had told him before he got involved with Gwen.

After I had calmed down enough, Kieran's boyfriend at the time ended up taking us back to her place since he was the DD. We cuddled in her bed all night, and I remember falling asleep to her telling me that one day he'll know that I love him, and that things might end up being different.

That definitely won't be the case now.

We soon arrive outside of my apartment building, and I get out after thanking the driver, heading up to the third floor. I let myself inside, tossing my keys into the small bowl on the table near my door before heading into my bathroom. I immediately remove my contacts, and then take my makeup off with my skincare routine following after. I pull my phone out of the pocket of my dress - shooting Harry a text that I had made it home.

Once in my bedroom, I change out of my dress and into a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top. I sink down into my bed, and I stare at the ceiling as I replay tonight over again in my head. The image of Harry getting down on one knee seems to be burned into the forefront of my mind. It's causing me to feel so conflicted.

I knew it was wrong for me to fantasize that he was getting down on his knee like that for me, instead of my sister, but I couldn't help it. Unfortunately, I had planned out a lot of little life moments in my head with Harry, and an engagement was one of them.

It's like I've been torturing myself throughout all these years by envisioning steps of a relationship that will never happen.

I'm drawn out of my self-inflicted agony when I feel my phone vibrate on the bed next to me. I pick it up, and suck in a deep breath when I see that it's from Harry. I hover my thumb over the notification for a moment before deciding just to go ahead and open his text.

From: Harry

10:57 pm

"Glad to hear it. Gwen and I just got in not too long ago ourselves. She's already knocked out, but what else is new when she lays down after drinking? Haha. Can you let me know your schedule for next week? I want to cook you dinner, and have you come over to mine so we can talk about how I'm a shithead. Maybe then you can let me beg you to please let me still be your friend."

Tears fill my eyes as I read his text, and I let out a small giggle at his words. Even when he knows he's wrong, which rarely is ever the case, he makes it his mission to still make me laugh somehow. I contemplate just leaving the text until morning, and letting him think I fell asleep, but I'd rather go ahead and get this over with tonight.

To: Harry

10:59 pm

"I'm definitely not surprised. You know she falls asleep fast anyway, and adding alcohol just makes it worse. Haha. I'm at the shop Monday-Wednesday all day. and then Saturday during the day. Let me know what day works best for you, and I'll be there."

Only a minute or so passes before his next text comes through.

From: Harry

11:01 pm

"How about Saturday night? I'll make your favorite, or we can be nostalgic and make some cheap ramen and eat massive amounts of junk food like we did back in the day. You choose."

I shake my head at him with a smile, pushing my tears back that were still threatening to fall as I mark his text as 'unread', deciding I'll get back to him in the morning.

Harry and I had dinner together practically every night when we were in college after we grew so close, and most of the time it did just consist of some ramen and bags of chips. He was fortunate enough that he didn't live on campus, and was without a roommate, so he let me crash there a lot considering I hated the roommate I had my second year. He was truly a godsend, and I'm lucky that I just so happened to choose the seat next to him in Biology during the spring semester of my second year.

Trudging down the hallway of the newest building they'd built on our college campus, I realized I was very much lost. I, thankfully, had given myself plenty of time to get to my classes today, so I still had about ten minutes to spare before I really was going to be in deep trouble. I nibbled on my bottom lip nervously as I made my way onto the second floor - my eyes scanning over the numbers.

Finally I found room 206, and when I walked inside, a lot of the seats were already taken. I soon noticed a seat that was open towards the middle of the room, and I made my way over to it. I shrugged my jacket off once I sat, draping it over the back of the seat before I opened up my bag to pull out my textbook and binder for taking notes.

I could feel that the person next to me had their eyes on me, but I chose to ignore them. I wasn't the best at talking to new people, and I didn't want to make a fool of myself by stumbling over words while trying to speak.

"Did you draw those yourself?" I heard them speak up - their voice was deep.

I froze from trying to locate my pen in my bag once I heard them, and I flicked my eyes over to the front of my binder to see some of the sketches that I had done on display for the stranger to see. I had honestly forgotten that I put them in there - doodling was just something I did while trying to pass time between classes, and sometimes I'd just slide them into the front of my binders.

Turning to look over my shoulder, I'm met with big green eyes that were clearly eager in nature. My eyes trailed over his chiseled bone structure, and the fullness of his pink lips. His hair hung just a little ways below his shoulders, and I watched as he lifted a hand to run his fingers through the front of his long curls while gliding his tongue along the inside of his rosy cheek.

"I-I," I cleared my throat to avoid stammering even further while I gathered my thoughts. "I did, yes. Just a hobby of mine."

"Well they're really good. Are you here for art?"

"I am, actually," I nodded, looking back down into my bag to continue rummaging through it.

"Here," I looked back over to see a pen now placed on the top of my textbook, and I looked over to the stranger with my brows pinched together on my forehead.

"But then you won't-"

I stopped speaking as he gave me a small smirk, placing another pen down in front of him. "No worries, love. I've got a spare."

Closing up my bag, I set it down on the floor as I sat up properly in my chair, but I turned to face the man. "Well, thank you. I do appreciate it."

"Again, it's no worries," he smiled as he held out his large hand, and I saw that it was adorned with many rings, as well as a cross tattoo on the back of it - between his thumb and index finger. "I'm Harry, by the way."

"Carter," I replied as I slipped my hand into his.

It was so soft, and his smile grew wider as he gave my hand a nice shake. "Nice to meet you, Carter."

We were soon interrupted by the professor walking into the room before they started up their lecture. I could see Harry stealing glances at me every now and then throughout the class, and soon I saw him move his notebook to sit between the two of us. I looked down, and I saw that he had written a little note.

"He sounds a little like Kermit the Frog, don't you think?"

I had to quickly clamp my hand over my mouth, and I disguised my laughter as a cough as Harry pursed his lips. He rolled them slightly over to the side while doing his best to not draw attention to us, but I could tell he was holding his laughter back too.

Once I got a hold of myself, I grabbed my own notebook - writing him a note back before moving it to lay next to his.

"Definitely. Do you think he'll give us a performance of 'Rainbow Connection' if we ask nicely?"

This time Harry was the one that had to move quickly to stifle his laughter, bringing his fist up to cover his lips that were fighting off a large smile. We glanced at each other quickly before looking back up to the board to focus on the professor.

Once class was over, I started to pack up my things, and I almost dropped Harry's pen into my bag before remembering that it wasn't mine.

"Oh, here," I said, extending it out to him as he stood up from his seat.

A smirk planted itself on his face as he shook his head. "Keep it. I've got plenty."

I just nodded, standing up myself - draping the strap of my bag over my shoulder.

"I'll see you around, Carter."

After that day, Harry and I would talk a lot in class, but it wasn't until the first group project where we decided to buddy up that our friendship truly started. We both were taking the class as an elective, so even though we took it seriously, we still had a lot of fun. We were attached at the hip, and a lot of people thought we were a couple, but we dismissed those rumors on the spot.

I didn't realize just how I felt about Harry then myself, so I didn't feel like I was lying or hiding anything by denying those claims.

He was the friend who took me to my first college party, my first bar when I turned twenty-one, and also accompanied me on several tattoo and piercing journeys. Harry is just that friend that you want around you all the time. The guy that you could never get sick of to matter how much time you spent together. I can remember the time that I realized that I did have such strong feelings for him - feelings that measured beyond a simple friendship on my end.

It terrified me at first, and I actually shut myself away from him for almost two weeks because I felt so overwhelmed.

We had gone to a formal, each of us being asked by other people to go, and I had to give props to Harry's date for asking him herself - not the other way around. The guy that asked me to go was someone in my art history class, and he seemed nice enough. Harry and I ended up going in two different groups, which had my anxiety at an all time high, but I fought through it so that I could enjoy my night.

It wasn't even an hour into the formal when I went to look for my date who said he was using the restroom, and I ended up finding him in the hallway making out with another girl who had come with our group - her own date forgotten about just like me, apparently. I became a mess, and I didn't even process those around me as I made my way back through the main banquet hall so that I could get outside. I knew I needed fresh air or else I was going to absolutely work myself up even worse than I already had.

Choking on a sob, I had sat myself down on one of the curbs outside, pulling my phone out of my clutch with shaking hands. I was just going to get a taxi, and head back to my dorm for the night, but it was barely seconds later that I felt a hand over my shoulder. I looked over, and saw that it was Harry crouched down next to me with concern growing in his eyes.

He didn't ask any questions at first - he just sat down next to me while pulling me into his arms as I continued to cry. I remember repeating over and over how he needed to just leave me, and go back to his date, but he refused. He kept assuring me that I was always going to be the most important person to him, and that he wasn't going anywhere.

"You deserve so much better than him, Carter," he told me once I looked up at him, and he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Fuck any guy that would ask you here, have you look so beautiful, and then just leave you like that. Those aren't real men. Those are little boys."

Harry did eventually end up leaving me for just a bit to go inside and tell his date that he was heading out. Thankfully she was cool, and she understood once he explained the situation. Everyone knew how close Harry and I were, so it didn't come as a surprise to her that he would want to tend to me.

He took me back to his apartment that night, dressing me in some of his pajamas since I hadn't brought any of my own stuff, and we cuddled on the couch while watching Full House reruns.

I remember the way his fingers felt as he stroked my hair. I remember how his lips felt against my forehead, and my temple as he pressed soft kisses to them throughout the rest of the night. I remember waking up to him carrying me into his room when I fell asleep on the couch. I remember the way he curled his body around mine, completely spooning me as we slept in his bed.

It didn't hit me that night how I felt about him, but when I woke the next morning with a warmth in my chest at the way his frame shaped to mine, that's when I realized.

After declining his request to make me breakfast, I fled back to my apartment, and I hauled myself away until I was ready to face him again. I used the excuse that I was processing what happened to me at the dance - that was the first time I ever lied to Harry. The truth was that I was finding it difficult to process my emotions when it came to him.

When I finally found it in myself to see him again, he didn't treat me any differently, and things just fell right back into place. I honestly think that's what made me fall for him even harder. He was just so understanding.

Turning onto my side after taking off my glasses, I pull the covers further up my body, practically tucking them underneath my chin as I close my eyes. I do my best to get my mind to shut off, and to let me rest, but I know that a good night's sleep is definitely not in my future - at least not tonight.

[metalheads-trash-bin]

!! MORE NOTES FOR TROLLS FANFIC WRITERS!!

These consist of observations, facts, and headcanons :)

Volcano Rock City

Riff & rock trolls:

Breathy giggle, shy almost

At college for musical theory/art

Immune to lava - see it like hot water

Change in music doesnt change where they were raised w - (Pink heart, but diff style)

Volcano rock city arenas lava is now rainbow to show all genres

High fives show harmony and connection

Daycare in pop village - poppy teaches them the history of the whole world tour situation w barb as a guest

Riff uses air drums w drumsticks to dance w head bobbing when just chill dancing

Hard dancing is ofc what you think it is

Riff has three siblings, hes the favorite sibling since hes the baby. He spends time with his mom. He has two sisters and one brother. The brother is the eldest.

Food item: Fiber energy juice boxes

Barbs full name is Barbara

Creek notes:

Creek being creek “a little positivity would go well with that vest.”

Gets grabbed by chef

Chef forces creek into king gristles mouth

Creek figures out how to prevent himself being killed, calling out and gristle spitting him out. Creek begs for his life.

He strikes up a deal with chef. Through that hes taken out of the amulet for good.

Chef catches the snack pack, putting them back into the cage.

Chef pulls out creek, and they have the whole strangle moment.

Creek tells them he sold out everyone, showing no remorse so they dont try rescuing him. He even says to her theres no other “not him getting eaten” way, and chef agrees.

Instead of poppy focusing on the kingdom she becomes empathetic towards Bridget, turning back after being let go and helping her out. Poppy explains to the bergens that theres other ways to be happy. Then demonstrates that.

The bergens believe her, having a happy ending where they realize they dont need to eat trolls.

Chef gets rocketed out on a grill, creek in her fanny pack. She tries to eat him, the creature below them waking up. They get eaten by said monster.

“If poppy had only listened to you, if she took you seriously..if we all did. This would’ve never happened. If she just focused on the kingdom and not saving me, you all could’ve escaped and ran off. Finding a new haven. I know in the end it was a good plan..and lead to good things. But..she didn’t know that, no one did. You all almost died.”

“I’m sorry I never took you seriously, I’m..so sorry branch.”

Mount Rageous- rage dome

Bruce canonically listens to true crime podcasts

Jds canon in the sad book club

Floyd had a canon solo career

Mount rageous has an adult area called “the bowl” under the clouds

Floyd worked there doing modeling, playboy esque. Alongside singing solos in bdsm clubs

Teens found out eventually as gossip is.

Scarring under JDs gloved hand

Branch cracks under pressure after introducing floyd to creek, spiraling in front of poppy and sobbing to her about his feelings on everything. She panics and tries problem solving, branch snapping and then them walking away. They came back to eachother the next day, talking it out and deciding health wise its best to just be friends. They became platonic soulmates to eachother like riff and barb, the separation and experience of being together bringing them closer anyhow. Being in different levels of life just, cant work long term.

Creek says things like “Mother Destiny” or “Mother” as his connection to the earth.

John Dorys first thing when the gang separated was neverglade trail

Johns killed someone, he followed them on a hike and tried bashing their head with a rock. The person had a self defense pocket knife because of the wild animals. They slashed his left hand, john trying to push them off a cliff (waterfall cliff). Person grips onto his jacket, pleading for their life and how they dont understand what they did to deserve this, hanging off the cliff only not falling because hes gripping onto johns jacket. Johns gripping the ground, reaching for a rock and smashing their eye until they let go. Person falls, not dying because the water wasnt shallow enough. He runs down with a hunting knife, stabbing the guy to death. This was his first kill, only doing it so he could eat as he was struggling.

Edit: BY EAT I MEAN GETTING MONEY AS HE WAS A HITMAN NOT A CANNIBAL AAAAGHHHHH

Doug is the lawyer jd’s acquainted with at the bowl since hes the only lawyer that handles other species disputes.

Jd loves fish, especially fish sandwiches.

Notes on trolls three and poppy:

poppy seems super pushy and non empathetic to branch, literally appearing as if she cant put herself in someone else’s shoes.

2. She consistently tests his comfort and boundaries. Even being manipulative in some instances to get him to do what she wants.

3: it seems like she was more interested in investing in JD and the mission because they’re BroZone, not because she cared about branch or his trauma.

4. Yes at sometimes she comforted him and convinced him to continue with the mission, but that doesn’t make up for her lack of empathy simply because she shows sympathy.

5. I understand being a huge fan of BroZone, but some of her behaviors absolutely cross the comfort of the members. JD kept the funderwears for memorabilia, not because of some scent thing. Yet poppy’s borderline lustful reaction implies she would’ve kept them for that reason.

6. Sometimes she still struggles to listen to him, projecting her familial issues onto him and saying how grateful he should be. She was so fixated on the facf she craves more from her family, that she couldn’t even fathom the fact someone wouldn’t like their family members or have a more complicated relationship.

These are all of course little things, but they can build up and they can cause long term built up issues. It’s saddening to see that even if they sorted out her not listening to him, she still has a lot she needs to fix. And Branch, especially after all of his trauma being forcibly resurfaced, most likely can’t handle all of her flaws she needs to work on.

These all were brought up to her when they separated, she didn’t react the best initially until a few days later when she finally gained some sort of empathy and guilt for her neglect towards my brother.

[fanhackers]

Vidding’s Grandchildren? Edits, corecore, and other video feels

Thinking about the descendants of vidding, since I was quoted in this recent article on fan edits, “Why Do Fan-Made Trailers Rule the Internet?” by Cat Zhang. The edits of the article, like the fanvids of old, are scenes from television shows and movies set to music.  But while these edits are typically much shorter and more feels-focused than vids, they seem to me clearly a descendant of the form. In my book, Vidding: A History (2018), I talk about the ways in which YouTube and the algorithms of the internet were already affecting the aesthetics of vids back in the 2010s (spoiler alert: they’ve became shorter & more intense) and we can clearly see this trend in the 2020s now that fans are firmly on short-form platforms like Insta and Tiktok.  The edits in Zhang’s article are all about the feels, and a sub-class of edits, corecore (as explained in this Mashable article by Chance Townsend, “Explaining corecore: How TikTok’s newest trend may be a genuine Gen-Z art form”) is often used to express chaotic or overwhelmed feels.  Townsend says that what makes corecore so interesting is that “one’s feelings that couldn't be expressed through words are instead presented through images. Whether that emotion is happiness, a fear of the future, or the excitement of falling in love, corecore edits, through the use of multimedia, speak to our common experience.”  The idea of expressing emotion by the artistic act of combining disparate clips with music–well, it sounds like vidding, but at the same time it seems a long way away, too. That said, a work like this hip-hop based edit of The Bear, made by an artist at the X/Twitter account “black boy cinematic universe,” seems to be doing the kind of reparative fannish media work vis a vis race that older vids did for gender and sexuality. Zhang quotes the artist as saying: “There’s an energy to the show where it’s being carried by the people of color. So in my edit, I want to make sure there’s a song that represents that.”  That’s a very similar (and familiar) vibe: that urge to make the thing that will Get. It. Right.

–Francesca Coppa, Fanhackers volunteer

[readychilledwine]

we want the juicy details on your sexual awakening

It's not that juicy. It's actually fairly sad, but someone else may be at this point and need to hear it.

Warning - questionable consent, technically a form of sex work, total power exchange, abusive relationships, mental health issues, learning to adapt, and becoming a survivor instead of a victim.

I was a really really good kid and teen. Like I addressed, I got my kicks from fanfiction. I dated once in high school, and it never went further than kissing (which caused my first break up and broken heart). My first "What is happening to my body," came from watching The Mummy, and it wasn't something I could discuss with anyone besides my older brother who did the best he could to try to talk to me about safe sex.

I moved away from my parents in 2014 and went to a college about 4 hours away. Aka- close enough to mom and dad to drive home once every couple months, not close enough for them to randomly show up. I was an art major focusing on art history and visual design, and that required me to take a life drawing class.

Tender 18 year old Liz, a starving college student working two jobs, ended up catching the eye of one of the male models, and we started talking a lot. I found out after a month of him taking me on dates, surprising me with gifts, and him staying up with me when I'd be lonely because I didn't live on campus have friends, that he was married and him and his wife were looking for a girlfriend for him since she had a boyfriend on the side. I don't regret this choice because it shaped who I am today, but I stupidly agreed to go into it without having set my own boundaries and limits.

He had rules for me. Rules I can recite clearly to this day: he dresses me, I do not make financial choices without him, I am to tell him where I was at all times and leave my tracker on, he decides what I eat and when, no drinking, no smoking, and no other partners. If I listened, he would pay my tuition, books, help with rent, etc. At the time, I did not realize that I was entering a total power exchange dynamic, and he knew that.

Those starter rules evolved into more... sex based rules, and after 3 months, I ended up losing my virginity to him after he told me refusing was breaking his rules, and if I broke his rules, my allowance was cut off, and I really needed help with rent, friends. I am not proud of that decision, but that decision was made.

I stayed in this relationship with him hanging financial security and my own naivety over my head for close to 10 months. My dad is a law enforcement officer, and he is the one who noticed the change in my personality and looks.

I had waist length dark brown hair. I came home blonde with my hair cut to my lower neck. I stopped wearing Converse and Vans and started wearing heels and sandles more. I would get really anxious and upset if I wasn't near my phone or could not find it to meet my required check-ins. I cried. Alot. Yelling made me actually panic. My dad made me sit down with a female investigator and answer questions about everything.

When she was done and confirmed to him what was happening, he then proceeded to get my brothers, a uHaul, and my apartment keys and move me back home. He had my phone bill at that point, so he blocked the couple, her boyfriend, and their friends that I had the displeasure of meeting and ensured I never heard from them again.

Cohearsed consent is not consent. The second I started therapy and realized that, I spiraled. The weight of everything set in, and I realized I had been a victim of sexual assault. I began to cope by being hypersexual. Within a year, I'd had sex with close to 30 people trying to reclaim my body and, in turn, endangering myself until I met my ex fiancé.

When I met him, things changed significantly. He was a stepping stone in my healing and helped me find religion and value in myself beyond my body. Ironically, my healing and finding the wrong religion (catholics don't seem to be a fan of spirituality) is what led to our engagement being called off. I was 21 when we stopped seeing each other.

I slowed down at that point signicantly and cut off all sex. I was done with it and decided never again. I could please me better than anyone else could anyways. Then, I met baby daddy, and we started as strictly friends with benefits. He is the safest dom I've ever had, the kindest man I've ever met, and from the bat, he understood me more than I understood me. He saw me for me and cared for me despite the damaged goods.

He triggered the true awakening. We took sex between us slow, exploring things gently, talking about what I wanted to try and keeping track of what I liked, what he liked, and meeting in a happy middle. He indulged my want to explore with other women and just sat and watched. Then, when we felt I was ready, he introduced me to the swinging/bdsm lifestyle, and it helped me process the remaining bits of trauma I had with him beside me every step of the way. He helped shape me sexually into who I needed to be to heal and then who I deserved to be sexually for me.

I don't know at what point FwB turned into us living together and telling each other how much the other means to us almost daily, but now we're here, cuddling on couch, exhausted from taking care of our daughter, and discussing which one of us gets the last chocolate peanut butter overnight oats packet and *whispers* marriage.

Him and Sophia are the happy ending 18 year old Liz thought she was losing when she was desperate to pay rent. He helped me heal, learn who I was in terms of sex, and gave me the safest place to land.

One might say I'm pretty attached to him forever now 🤣

Ps - let me tell ya, missionary isn't boring when it's with someone who thinks you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, pregnancy stretch marks, and all. 💕

[otakusheep15]

Obey Me Flufftober Day 12

Prompt: Art

Pairing: Solomon x reader (gender neutral)

Word count: 849

A/n: Shout out to my bestie who is literally obsessed with this old man. I'm only tolerating this man for her. This does get a bit angsty, but I promise it ends with fluff.

Sometimes you forget just how old Solomon is. Yes, you know that he is immortal, but sometimes you just forget what that really entails. Pretty much anytime you bring up a topic from history, he can give you intimate details that only someone who lived through that era would know.

And, apparently, the same applies to physical objects from history, as you discovered when you took him to an art museum. He could genuinely recall seeing these paintings happen in person, and give detailed histories on each of them that most historians wouldn't even know. It was impressive, but it also freaked you out a bit. Just how long as Solomon been alive? How long has he been wandering the Earth by himself, absorbing all of this knowledge?

You kept your quickly darkening thoughts to yourself, not wanting to ruin this trip with your worries. Deep down you did feel for Solomon. You knew he must have been lonely for all of the years he's been alive. But you also knew that he was okay with that, plus he wasn't alone anymore. He had you.

But how long would that last?

The thought shook you, and you had to physically pause to process it. Solomon noticed your sudden absence from his side, and he moved back to where you were standing. Sensing your oncoming distress, he is quick to usher you to a private corner away from prying eyes and ears. Once he is sure you're in a safe area, he sits you down and focusing on helping you breathe.

Finally, after a minute, your mind clears and you stop panicking. You didn't even realize you were panicking until you stopped, and now you just feel sluggish and a little dizzy. Solomon is next to you, giving you just enough distance while also not straying too far away. You look to him in confusing, silently asking him what had happened. He explained that you had frozen up on him, and so he moved the two of you to a more secluded space until you calmed down.

Then, he asks you the same question. What happened to make you panic like that? Was it something he did or said? You reassure him that that wasn't the case. You simply just got lost in your thoughts, and they went a little too far for your liking. Solomon didn't ask you directly, but it's clear he wanted to know more, so you decided to tell him.

You explain that, as he spoke of the various histories of the art around you, you began to think about just how long he's been alive. You thought about how lonely he must have felt for all those centuries, but tried to calm yourself by thinking about how you were with him now. That didn't last long because your brain then provided you with a thought you never wanted to have. You thought of your own mortality, and how you wouldn't have much time with him. Even if it was a lifetime for you, it was barely a drop in the bucket of his life, and that upset you more than you thought it would.

Throughout your explanation, Solomon remained quiet, listening intently until you finished. When you did, he continued on in silence, clearly wanting to take the time to process your words and choose the right thing to say. After what felt like an eternity, Solomon finally figured out what to do. Instead of speaking, he moved closer and wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace. It was unexpected but not unwelcome, and you were quick to return the hug.

You sat there for what felt like hours, but could not have been more than a minute. He releases you but holds onto your shoulders, keeping both you and him steady. His gaze pierces into yours, and it's then that he finally speaks. He tells you that you have every right to worry over him, and that he appreciates your concerns. However, you should not swell on such topics, as they will only bring you sadness. He wants you to be happy when you think about him. After all, he only thinks positive things when he thinks of you.

It's a touching moment, as you rarely hear him speak like this. Both of you are on the verge of tears, but you try your best to hold it in. After all, you soon remember exactly where you are, and suddenly this whole situation is much more comedic than it was a few moments ago. Of course this kind of thing would happen to you while on a museum date.

Now that you've officially calmed down and got your anxieties out, Solomon stands and offers you his hand. You accept gratefully, and when you're on your feet, you don't let go. Instead, you use your grip to pull him along, intent to see the rest of the museum with him. He smiles at you as you do so, and you both think to yourselves that, in that moment, you're the luckiest people alive.

[thecrazygamingzombie]

How Viviziepop kickstarted the third wave of indie animation.

Okay, I've been seeing a lot of people talk about the tweet below and how Viv doesn't deserve to take credit for the success of other indie animation projects online but the fact of the matter is...she does, in an indirect way at least.

First, let's start off with a brief history of indie animation:

everything started out on a site called newgrounds, I'm sure you've all heard of it. Created by Tom Fulp in the 90s to show case some of his half baked game ideas. Which eventually evolved into a place where indie creators could post anything they wanted without fear of censorship; the rating system that automatically removed any posts that dropped too low being the only source of quality control.

This gave indie animation it's initial foothold online but without any way of obtaining a revenue stream it never really moved beyond a fun hobby done to practice one's art/coding skills or just screw around with friends online.

This problem got more significant as time went on and many of the teenage artists that gave newgrounds it's inital success, such as RicePirate and Tom Fulp, grew into young adults who needed a revenue stream. Luckily they found one in the form of youtube.

With these monetization policies, many indie animators were actually able to go into animation practically full time. Their pre-existing income bolstered by that of youtube and what followed was a golden era of animation, just an explosion of content across the board. You had stuff like Eddsworld, Salad Fingers, ASDF movie, and tons of other creators bursting onto the scene.

all putting their content out there on Youtube for the world to see. All bolstered by revenue coming in from Youtube...but the good times never last

See, back then youtube's monetization policies were pretty simple: the more views your channel got, the more money you'd make. Great for short form animators and also great for clickbait youtubers who abused the system with deceiving thumbnails and titles!

To combat this, Youtube changed it's monetization policies in March of 2012: instead of being rewarded on view count, monetization would instead reward the time watched during a video. Which created a system where longer videos with frequent uploads were rewarded

In theory this was supposed to stop clickbait videos as people would just watch for a few seconds and leave. But in practice? It meant that animators were put at a heavy disadvantage as now they'd have to put in significantly more work for the same result.

This caused a complete and total crash of indie animation online. Between an unfair algorithm and the rise of gaming channels, most indie animators couldn't gather the same level of funding they could before and had to either quit or scale back.

Only the big name animators who could coast by on brand recognition such as Harry Partridge and TomSka among several others, or larger channels with dedicated teams similar to tv studios such as Mondo Media and Rooster Teeth. Were able to keep going.

This started a brief dark age for online animation until the advent of story time animators. People like Jaiden Animations, Swoozie, and TheOdd1sOut who relied on simplistic art styles with minimalist animation that focused on content reminiscent of old vlogs where the animators simply share stories from their everyday lives that allowed them to put out longer videos faster; thus working around the monetization system that had put so many animators out in the cold.

While they didn't solve the problem, in some ways they made it worse by starting a trend that attracted countless copycats, they did help sustain an interest in indie animation online and ensure there was a consistent audience for such a medium.

Now it wasn't a total wasteland mind you, as I said there were still plenty of animators who survived the purge. There were even a few channels such as Shut Up Cartoons and Mondo Media, again, that helped produce dozens of animated series from indie creators.

But even at it's best, these series were still very amateurish. The passion was obviously there but these were still very simplistic flash or stop motion animations with low budgets and small teams, focusing more on episodic skits than any sort of overarching plot

This environment of amateur passion projects, where animated series were usually very small scale and never really escaped from the limited sphere of youtube, went on for several years and kept the animation community alive. Until Viv posted Hazbin Hotel and brought about the third wave of indie animation.

Unlike the previous examples, Hazbin Hotel was a VERY different beast from most indie animation. Not only did it have an extremely distinct visual style but the animation was so fluid, so professionally made, it felt like something you'd see out of a mainstream studio. It felt leagues above the average indie project in terms of quality.

Now Viv had already a decent audience from her Zoophobia webcomic, her speed draws, and the die young video. So it wasn't like she was starting from nothing. But there was no denying that this new form of animation caught people's attention and caught it FAST.

You all can probably recall the explosion of discussion that surrounded the original pilot and how it was all the internet was talking about for awhile. Viv road that wave and used the momentum to launch 'Helluva Boss' another indie production with a similar style.

This made her even more popular, especially when she started cranking out new episodes of the latter series with the same high quality as before, and soon her fanbase swelled to millions. A fanbase that was more than happy to crowdfund Viv's work through patreon and merch sales. Then other animators saw this and realized that there was a sizable audience for animated content; one that could not only sustain professional level animation, but was desperate for more content of this scale. Soon several other series started cropping up like MurderDrones, Lackadaisy, Monkey Wrench, and the Amazing Digital Circus. All of which followed Viv's lead of producing high quality, fluid animation with overarching plots that drew funding entirely from legions of online fans.

For the first time in a long time, indie animation was breaking out of it's original platform and reaching far more mainstream audiences than it ever has in the past on a scale never before seen and it's all because Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss kicked off this new animation renaissance!

Now I'm not gonna say Viv was solely responsible, the series we enjoy now have thrived primarily on their own merits and the creative minds behind them.

But as it stands, her work played a big role in setting the stage for other indie animation projects and creating the perfect conditions for them to thrive amidst the current digital landscape. Like it or not, Viv is the catalyst for modern indie animation. To deny Viv her rightful place in history out of spite is nothing short of historical revisionism.

Give the gal her due, she's done some amazing things for this crazy world we live in.

Here's the videos I got most of my info from, it's important to cite one's sources after all!

[ionlybleedbubbles]

Writing tips deep in my heaps of cringe, that are actually good (imo) :

When writing in third person, don't say what a character cannot do while talking from their perspective. Frame the idea by telling us what they can do, or through the opinion of other characters. For eg. Instead of saying "Mattie was bad at flying planes", say "Mattie preferred cars to planes, and would much rather his brother do the plane-flying." See? Now you've even managed to drop in a nod about his brother. You could also say, "Kevin felt safer when Mattie's brother flew the plane than when Mattie did." Put the blame on Kevin - don't judge Mattie yourself. As a narrator you must pretend to always be on your MCs' side. Ofc, this would vary with different styles of narration, but this is a general rule.

Show how important a character is by how much time you take to talk about them. You would describe your MCs well, and bring up their hobbies and interests. You wouldn't describe a background character as much. You can use this to humanize or dehumanize characters. You may initially talk very little about the main villain yourself, and rely on dialogue among the other characters. This makes the villain feel like a force rather than a person. As the story progresses though, and you decide you want to drop in a *hairflips dramatically* sad back story, you can humanize the villain, and make them more understandable as a person.

Learn from art. Try describing different sceneries or portraits as practice. Also practice writing comic books or manga as stories. Visualizing your story as comic or manga panels can really help you understand pacing and paragraphs. Take note of their vibrance and positioning.

Learn from people's mannerisms and how they are received by other people. For eg, when we ask my dad a question, he pauses to gather his thoughts before speaking. Out of respect, we wait silently during this pause. This shows how confident and charismatic my dad is. A friend of mine only verbally roasts people within our friend group, and apologizes profusely after. This shows she is both empathetic and extremely quick-witted. I could create well rounded characters based on just examples as simple as these.

This tip is what I like to call 'the fake solution' and is employed by many famous authors. For this, you force readers to make assumptions. Maybe about how the magic system works, or about who the villain is. Make it seem like the characters have come to a conclusion and that conclusion is the final solution to conflict. Then tear down those assumptions and create a whole other ending. Similar to the red herring, except this time it's all in the characters' heads and dialogue. Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn trilogy is a good example of playing with assumptions forced upon readers by the writer.

In your first chapter, focus on creating potential. You don't have to jump into the heart of the action right away, but you have to make sure your readers understand the potential for this action. For example the opening chapter of Maggie Stiefvater's Raven Boys is relatively low paced, but it leaves you with questions. It makes you wonder who the boy who talked to Blue is, and how Blue will deal with life after such a strange prophecy. This makes you need to continue reading, to find answers.

For good worldbuilding, study at least a little bit of history. Wars and military tricks make for good free prompts. If your world contains vibrant races, make sure you research and incorporate the history and implications of racism, social hierarchy and trade. Understand how this will impact travellers and mercenaries (audiences love those). Make up your own old wives' tales and coping mechanisms.

Understand that the best stories are written around an idea rather than a character. Your protagonist is simply the face of your story. The weather of the world reflects on the protagonist's choices and health. Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games focuses on the dark side of media and politics and how they are used to control a people. Notice that by the third book, Katniss, our protagonist, is doing very little herself, though her few moments are loud and powerful. Katniss could achieve nothing alone. It takes a whole bunch of people to fuel the revolution. Note that it is completely okay to write a character based story, if that's what you like. But there are tons of those. If you really want to make an impact, make an idea-based story.

Respect all your characters equally. You may love some characters more than others, but remember all your characters are representatives of people. Make sure each of them has a voice and a chance to prove themselves.

Use prose to your advantage. Let the length of your sentence define whether the sequence is fast paced or slow. For example, if your want to show surprise, your sentences must be short. Instead of saying "She snatched the last dagger and stared at it, observing each engraving", say " She snatched up the last dagger. Each engraving was sick, gnarled. "

That was a heck of a long post, but that's all from me. Feel free to add your own or contradict anything I've written.

[art-that-fucks-you-up-tournament]

Our Copyright Problem Submissions

The two Maori artworks (New Zealand does not have a fair use/fair dealing clause for parody/satire, and while this MIGHT qualify as review/criticism, this is tumblr. I am not comfortable saying this is NOT satire):

Kohatu by Selwyn Muru at the Museum of New Zealand Te Papa Tongarewa in Wellington

This Land is Ours by Buck Nin at the Auckland Art Gallery.

The other Indigenous artwork that hit a stumbling block (Kent Monkman's website requested we fill out a form, and Mod Salix couldn't make it load, and other mods didn't find the time, so we erred on the side of caution instead):

mistikôsiwak (Wooden Boat People): Resurgence of the People by Kent Monkman on the artist's website, it is on display in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. commentary: (Art) history as I used to learn it was very whitewashed seeing this large painting harking back to the so called 'canon' but focusing on native view point, gives me life. (anonymous)

The three tumblr artists who did not get back to us! No reposting here!

The Watcher by seamlessoo We've actually been unable to refind this one after the submission for some reason!

Untitled by petersolarz commentary: The colours are so bold and crisp, it reminds me of toothpaste and i get the urge to eat it. Would it be soft, like toothpaste? Or crunchy, like hard candy? I want to eat it to find out, but since I can’t, I can only stare at it again and again as I try and figure the answer. It also feels like tubes of neon illuminating the night, and like a zap of electricity. It’s something about those colours being so bold that draws me in. I want to touch it. I want to crunch it. I want to squeeze it. I can’t think of many paintings that intrigue me so much and draw such a strong emotion. (thegirlsinthecity)

Internet Cat by hannahlockillustration commentary: Look. At. Those. Colours. It’s so bright and vibrant and full of joy. I want to 1) hug the cat, he looks very fluffy, and 2) jump into the screen and live in this vibrant world. It almost hurts my eyes, in the best possible way. I keep zooming in to look at all the little details. I want to burn this image into my eyelids. (thegirlsinthecity)

and one artist who respectfully declined to have their art entered!

grendel-menz

[cupidl0vesy0u]

I know my following is small, and everything was already said, but I just wanted to say something.

Just so y’all know, this is probably gonna a be long post ->

———

I as a lot of people love qsmp for it’s magic of getting people from around the world speaking and forming friendship together. And learning each other’s cultures in such a different ways.

I know I’m probably not the only one, but I’m not someone who’s from English speaking countries (America and such), I been always ‘forced’ to use English if I needed to buy or talk to someone in online spaces. And even if my culture is not that massive as others i know the pain of being made fun for my language or even country.

It’s been a lot of times I been called Russian, and getting sexualized for my looks and our countries history with them. Or people not wanting to learn and forgetting my own countries existence.

When Quackity started to stream more in Spanish I felt happiness and even if I didn’t understand him, I still tried to look for translation but only found angry comments how he should talk in English, and stopped talking Taco Bell. (I will never forgot these ‘jokes’ I know it’s hard for people who don’t know the struggle, but it still feels really disrespectful…)

But seeing this project showing people the magic of others culture, even if mine wasn’t there… I felt loved.

When Chayanne showed Germans traditions that was really similar to mine, I felt happiness at the way everyone loved it.

When new people showed up and everyone tried to learn how to say hello in their language or didn’t spoke English and used the translation instead.

I love seeing how all of their English got better or the ability to try to learn different languages even if there’s translation available.

—

I love this community and as someone who loved dsmp I really know how much this hurts.

But don’t worry! We still have each other, we made art and expressed what made it all even greater then it already was. I really appreciate you writers, artists, people who do cosplay and even people who didn’t had the courage to interact publicly in the fandom like me until now.

And the most important the Admins! I really appreciate you and what you did, even if its only giving life to ‘characters’ you played. You helped me with sadness I been feeling for while, and i think I’m not only one who said this but I wish you the best of luck on future projects, even if you decided to never interact with qsmp again.

I loved and still love this community we made, even if it had it’s downs and ups.

I will not leave, but I will try focusing on my own mental health and everyone who needs it.

I’m not comfortable with venting but if anyone just wants to talk about fanart or just have their mind on something else, feel free to dm me! I’m really bad at this, but I know it’s hard if your someone who didn’t interact online or doesn’t have irl friends or someone to talk this through with.

I know there’s probably a lot of grammar mistakes but I just wanted to share my love to everyone who was really feeling down with all this stuff happening.

I love you qsmp and even if this is the end or the new start. ❤️

[woklaza]

Dazai seemed too focused on Chuuya’s side as Port Mafia instead of Chuuya. But to be fair, what is Chuuya? As a human. Dazai wanted to find out– no, he will find out.

“Turn around, Chuuya,” Dazai said into the wireless as the message transmitted to Chuuya’s receiver. Chuuya tutted but did as he was told, stealthily turning around to face the vase centring the floor of the closed museum.

“This one’s the baby we’re after– the vase is from the Qing Dynasty, Yongzhen Period. But make sure to see if it’s the real thing. The dragon should have no pupils–”

“–Yeah, okay. No need for the History lesson.” Chuuya patted the dusty porcelain vase as he confirmed the vase was real. It was. “It’s the real one.”

Double Black is currently doing a big job– stealing a vase from the thief market (British Museum) in the middle of the night. There is no need to ask why they are doing it with Chuuya as the robber and Dazai as the operator, it’s working out, so it isn’t the point. The point is, that the mission was done within ten minutes, no exaggeration. 

“Alright Chuuya, to your south-west direction, look up and what do you see?” Dazai was pretty clearly not taking his job as the operator seriously, almost as if it were child’s play (it was, but still).

“Absolutely nothing except from the fucking ceiling,” Chuuya said blankly.

“No, there should be a staircase. Wait sorry! I have miscalculated!” Dazai cheered without any signs of feeling sorry.

“What have you miscalculated?” Grunted Chuuya impatiently.

“Your height. I estimated your height as one metre, so you must look up! Okay, just look forward and you’ll see the staircase.”

“Fucker.” Chuuya found the staircase with the help of his torch and sprinted through it with ease. It was a one-way staircase to the roof, where a loud helicopter was waiting for him, rotor blades still buzzing. Dazai waved from the inside, a set of headphones still on his head. Chuuya hopped into the helicopter and the pilot droved it away, with London under it.

Dazai was squashed with Chuuya in the backseats of the helicopter (consider it a small one) and quickly snatched the vase away from the redhead to examine it.

“Hmm… breakable. What’s this, Chu-Chu?” Dazai pulled out a piece of irregularly shaped metal from the vase. 

It was an understatement to call the object a metal, even though it was one. It was entirely gold (Chuuya had later confirmed this with his experience of meddling with precious stones), and shaped like a rose. In other words

A golden rose.

“That’s mine!” Dazai announced happily as he rubbed the cold flower with his hands. Chuuya, noticing how he had let Dazai keep such a treasure, snatched it away immediately.

“I stole it!” Chuuya argued.

That sounded so wrong.

But the Port Mafia intended to steal the vase, and the flower seemed like a bonus the pair needed to learn how to split and share. Dazai seized the rose from Chuuya.

“Nah! I’m keeping it!” He laughed, “I’m the reason you made it out there unscathed.”

Chuuya’s next reaction was not something Dazai predicted or considered. The redhead sulked and after a few seconds his face flushed crimson, and he jumped off the helicopter.

Dazai did not worry about Chuuya dying from the fall, he is a gravity manipulator after all. What he was feeling was confusion. Why was Chuuya so angry at him?

The pilot laughed at Dazai (Yes, at ). 

“Nakahara-kun’s just a kid. Why wouldn’t he want flowers? Snatching it away from him is just mean. You don’t have those emotions, but he’s like any teenager his age. He wants flowers, of course.”

Dazai blushed. Then felt ashamed. All the while, he never really thought Chuuya would care about flowers and love. Well then, even if he is good at martial arts and has some strong ass ability, it doesn’t make him less human. Dazai seemed too focused on Chuuya’s side as Port Mafia instead of Chuuya.

But to be fair, what is Chuuya? As a human.

Dazai wanted to find out– no, he will find out.

~

Continue reading here:

[a-dumbass-jester]

Yttd x tma au!!

The main post with plot an a full explanation and story.

{Part one} (it’s much more bref there, this is much more in depth and organized)

This focuses more on the dummies bc I love them but I also think that theme of loss of humanity fits well with them {this post will have a lot to do this them and their plot}

{Art I drew}

{Ao3}

Words: ~4,500

- Overview -

Sara Chidouin - The End

Midori - The Web

Sue Miley - The Spiral

Tia Safalin - The Dark

Rio Ranger - The Stranger

Shunsuke Hayasaka - The Eye

Hinako Mishuku - The Desolation

Anzu Kinashi - The Stranger

Ranmaru Kageyama - The Lonely

Mai Tsurugi - The Slaughter

Naomichi Kurumada - The Extinction

Q-Taro Bugerburg - The Hunt

Megumi Sasahara - The Corruption

- Intro -

So to start yttd aligns with tma a lot actually!! First off chapter one had a very strong paranormal theme to it, as well a lot of manifestations/themes that the entities had though out the game. The most obvious because the dolls (stranger) and death (end)

The timeline fits to!! The death game happens April 2017, which is a few months before The Unknowning, around/mid season three(3). The change happens October 2018 which is enough time for the plot.

In case you are here for yttd and don’t know anything about the Magnus archives, tma is a horror fiction podcast where there are 14(now 15) fear based entities/gods, that feed of of peoples fear. And occasionally instead of fearing an entity, some people ‘sympathize’ with it. Becoming an vessel or avatar for it instead. I don’t think you have to worry about not having context to tma because I think I did a pretty good job explaining it. if you are confused a quick Google search will probably answer your questions. I even linked the entities wiki page if you quickly want answers. If you are interested in tma or even just a specific fear but don’t wanna listen to a 200 episode podcast, this is a rlly good playlist explaining the entities.

- Asunaro -

So basically everything is the same except that yttd and tma take place in the same world. I can see asunaro being like the Magnus institute in how it serves the eye, I can see it serving an entity as well, but instead of it being one entity, there’s different parts that are dedicated to different ones, because there’s a few asunaro matches with, the most obvious one is The End, also known as Death or Terminus, is well death. Considering their focus on death and a full on death game makes it fit quite well. I can also see The Web or the Mother of Puppets playing a part because as we see a few times (especially in the mini episodes) they try to control the participant’s lives like how they framed Alice for murder. but also in the way they had the ai simulations. They knew every way it could play out, everyone’s chance at survival, what they do when threatened with death, what they do when they’ve lost everything, playing with them like puppets. Due too asunaro’s assassin history in Kai’s backstory I can see them connected to The Slaughter as well. I don’t think asunaro would have started out serving an entity. The would’ve done what they did in cannon and then found out they exist and that they aligned with some of them and ended up here. The entities that helped them realize that would’ve been The Eye and Stranger. When they started stalking the future participants they caught the attention of The Eye, also know as the Ceaseless Watcher or Beholding. It started to let asunaro use it to get information. The doll thing was also an accident. They started to make the dolls to help with people mourning loved ones like in cannon, but got influenced by The Stranger or the I Do Not Know You and started replacing them entirely, and make them look a lot less human, and leaning into uncanny valley. like something was wrong but you just don’t know what.

- Asunaro’s Employees -

SARA CHIDOUIN

While I know Sara isn’t an employee, her existence still plays a massive part with The End and the company. Like I mentioned in my original post I rlly like the idea of her being deified by asunaro. So I can see her playing a similar role to Angus. Her father was fascinated by The End and very early on he started to raise her for it. Asunaro quickly caught on and was more than happy to help. So along with raising her to be perfect for the death game, They raised her to be the perfect vessel for The End. She didn’t become an avatar until during the death game. They kept her from becoming an avatar before then. She was heavily marked by it, but they wouldn’t let The End take her before that point. So when it did make her an avatar it was very sudden, and all at once. The entities were kept a secret for her entire life, so when she started getting the dreams of how the still alive participants would die during the game, she just dismissed them as simple nightmares what came with trama. But then those dreams actually happened. How she saw them die in the dreams is how they ended up dying in the game. And then the roots showed up. She saw the way death wrapped around everyone in a way only she was able to see. By the end of the death game She becomes The Ends main avatar. She goes from a sort of death prophet to Death incarnate as It and Asunaro takes more and more. She becomes their Angel of death.

MIDORI / SOU HIYORI

I don’t have to much of an explanation for this one. But i remember someone calling him the puppeteer doll, and that he kinda messes with people like puppets or play things, so I think it lines up with The Mother of Puppets. That and I think a simple basic kind of fear would work well with him. I could see him using spiders to subtly scare people, especially the people he’s close with like Shin. He is the reason Shin had an encounter with The Web in high school. I can see him as the head (or at least someone higher up) of The Web section/avatars. He became an avatar rlly young. He had always rlly liked The Web and With his connection to Asunaro he was able to connect with it, and commonly used it to mess with people. Even as a little 5 year old.

SUE MILEY / EMIRI HARAI

As I mentioned here she’s the perfect avatar for The Spiral, also known as The Distortion or The Great Twisting, If not a victim of it. In the game she gaslights people into thinking that their loved ones death was their fault, and she was also driven mad by asunaro. Due to The Distortion also having a theme of hallucinations, the ones we see in game would have been her doing, or at least part of it. This next part is a bit unimportant but I wanna include it anyway, I hc backstory is that she’s Mai’s sister and was taken from them at a young age under the guise of letting her research more of the disturbing stuff that she was interested in. They framed her death and changed her last name. Slowly they started desensitizing her, as she slowly got used to stuff like death and suffering. As well as loveboming her, stuff that can be used by The Spiral. That overall theme fits The Spiral to me. She becomes an avatar as an adult, when she goes mad in cannon. And actively used The Distortion during the death game. Like I mentioned earlier, she used the hallucinations to drive people mad, and made them spiral as much as possible.

TIA SAFALIN/MICHIRU NAMIDA

I originally assigned her The Dark also known as The forever Blind or Mr Pitch, because of the way tma blended science and religion with it specifically with Manuela Dominguez. I can even see her playing a similar role. Ok I have to be honestly I don’t have a lot for this one. I just rlly like the idea of Dark!Michiru. I can maybe see her becoming an Avatar trying to escape an entity. she was a researcher and maybe fell victim to The Ceaseless Watcher, and in a way to stop it she gouged her eyes out to sever her connection to it, and in the process fell into The Forever Blind. Also I’ll get into this when I talk about Hayasaka (in the dummies section) but I like the idea of her serving The Dark while he serves The Eye, two(2) entities known to hate each other. But anyway back to the eye thing, Hayasaka and Emiri helping her after literally going blind. And still being blind during the game and using a cane, and often using the dark during it as well. But yea I just rlly like dark!Michiru.

RIO RANGER

I’ll get into him a bit more with Anzu, but this happens after the death game. Where he is rebuilt and finds out about Sei and has a bit of an identity crisis. That along with the doll thing makes him end up falling into The Stranger. He and Anzu got close after the game. They bonded over liking to dress up/costumes and preforming. Anzu even got him to become a clown. So when Asunaro pushed her into The Stranger he followed, and went on a similar arc as she did.

OTHER

Obviously like I said earlier Mr Chidoun serves The End. I know there’s a theory that he and Meister are the same person but going purely of of Meister I can see either Web or Stranger. Web because of his association with Midori, and probably Stranger because of the doll thing, l can imagine him leaning into uncanny valley, he also looks a lot like Nikola, like if Meister was a clown. Kai was almost an slaughter avatar, and by almost i mean it’s what asunaro wanted, but he couldn’t actually fit it. I don’t rlly have one for Gashu actually. Maybe Stranger because he makes dolls? I can also see him leaning into uncanny valley, but that’s literally it.

- DUMMIES-

(Reminder that this post is important for this section)

The dummies overall story: so it’s the beginning part of that^ post where Midori was fucking around and put their human souls in their dolls and ais. It worked and after the death game they rebooted and rebuilt them. This is where it starts getting a bit different. They were still experimented on, trying to find the exact differences between Human and doll. However this time they are more focused on turning them into avatars. Anzu and Hinako were the easiest, all they needed were a slight nudge and they would keep falling whether they wanted to or not. Ranmaru, Hayasaka and Mai were more difficult. They aligned well with an entity, however they clung to their humanity much more than Anzu and Hinako did. They did eventually fall with a big enough push. Kurumada was the hardest to deal with. First off he didn’t actually align a whole lot with one specific entity. He had some connection to two(2) or three(3) entities, but not enough to become an avatar. They did eventually find one but it wasn’t even fully formed, they had to push even harder.

In order of when they became avatars

SHUNSUKE HAYASAKA

{important} As I mentioned in my Og post Hayasaka Is PERFECT for The Eye. On the wiki page, it says The Ceaseless Watcher fears are focused on being watched, Having secrets revealed, Horrible knowledge, Being exposed and judged, which works VERY well considering he was the one to watch over the rest of the participants. Before his memory’s were erased for the death game, he knew everything about everyone, he’s watched them all for a few years now. The Eye had originally marked him in high school, teasing him with the knowledge thing it has. he didn’t follow it because he didn’t know what it was yet. When he started working for Asunaro and they told him to start stalking the participants, it came back, and it loved him. He fit so perfectly, it couldn’t help itself. Hayasaka hated it. He rejected it for a while, until a few months in Michiru helped him get used to and accept it. Overtime he got more and more comfortable with it. He does become an avatar before the death game. So he has access to The Eye during it. I’m imagining him getting hungry at some point and tries to get a Statement, and ends up going to kurumada and asks him about his encounter with The Buried from when he was in high school. In which after he finishes he freaks out and almost blows up at him, but Hayasaka stops him and explains everything. I would also like to mention that he also acts a lot different during the game now. Going back the the {important} thing, he was much colder and assertive The Eye didn’t let asunaro erase his memory, so he remembered everything anyway. It’s also what tipped asunaro off to what Midori did, because like why does Hayasaka act exactly how he did as a human, and not his ai self. And why does he still know everything. The Ceaseless Watcher also told him what Midori did. And he tried to tell the others about it as well. Especially the other dummies because 1. He genuinely wanted them to know about what actually happened, and that they are really them and not an ai copy, and 2. He wanted to bring them together, so that had each others backs. ‘We are in the exact same position, let’s work together’ they helped each other get used to everything as well.

HINAKO MISHUKU

She started becoming an avatar a little bit before the Death game. Midori recognized that she had a lot of potential for The Desolation. So he started leading her down that path with getting her to go after and  destroy the people who hurt her/people she dislikes. Slowly she became more and more destructive. It ended up real bad after the game. She knew exactly what asunaro did to her. How they destroyed her life and took everything from her. The sheer anger that she felt. She sought out to harm the people that did that to her. After that had started she began to spiral. Eventually she started harming more people, people that didn’t do anything to her. Slowly becoming more sadistic. she thrived on that destruction, the pain she brought others. One day She was burning down someones house and got caught in the flames a little bit after the game. She was the first one the rest of the dummies become an avatar. Hayasaka already was one. This made Mai, Ranmaru and Kurumada realize what exactly asunaro was going to do to them. Anzu decent made them realize how bad it was going to be.

ANZU KINASHI

Anzu’s transformation hit everyone hard. They had meet Hayasaka and Hinako after they started succumbing. They basically watched Anzu die. They saw a sweet kid become a monster before their very eyes and they couldn’t do anything about it. Luckily for the others their change weren’t that bad. It was very easy to get Anzu to spiral into The Stranger. All she needed was a push, first Asunaro wanted to get a proper mark on her. Anzu was already a clown and now a doll, both things very associated with I Do Not Know You, so it was very easy to get its attention. The doll thing was already a bit of a mark. But The official mark would’ve been similar to Mag 87: The Uncanny Valley. Asunaro got in contact with a Stranger avatar (probably Gashu if he wasn’t dead) and had them fuck with her(resulting in a very solid mark). This happened relatively soon after the game. Asunaro also got her interested in ‘The Circus of the Other’. (And even tried to reach out to them to let them know they might have a new member soon!!(if their plan worked(it did))). The lack of identity started soon after the marking. After going something so traumatic, she changed quite a bit. That and The Strangers affects starting to plant in her head. She also leaned into it because it had a huge theme of not knowing, she probably wanted to forget everything that happened and live in bliss. The disconnect from her identity only got worse she properly got involved with it. Her personality and just who she was as a person changed a lot, both physically and mentally, which slowly made her feel like she wasn’t “Anzu Kinashi” anymore. I mean “Anzu Kinashi” was dead (legally at least), and because of that, her being a doll now, and having to be cut off from her family. She was kept in asunaro’s facility. Everything was different now. She was different. Anzu ended up changing her name because 1. She didn’t feel like it fit anymore and 2. To let “Anzu” rest. I cant rlly think of a name she would choose but all I can come up with is Pierrot. At her end point she leaned very heavily into uncanny doll. She still Had a lot of energy and emotion but now there was something off about it, almost empty, hollow and fake. She also likes to wear masks. Not the one she used to wear though. That one’s for Anzu, she has a collection of different masks now. She still has the old one, it’s sitting nice on a shelf. A place to mourn who she was. The timeline is a bit weird. It’s main issue how fast can she loose it. because the game happens in April, while The Stranger’s ritual, The Unknowning happens August. I Hope she can join Circus of the Other before the Unknowning but I feel like that’s stretching it a bit. Anyways Breekon (and Hope If he’s alive) go get Anzu and she joins them, and kinda fucks around over there for a while, and properly leaves everything behind. (Also she knows English because she’s an ai now and can download it)

RANMARU KAGEYAMA

Unlike Anzu he had always been connected to an entity. The Lonely was always there. It followed him as he grew up. The ever present fog that was everywhere he was. With the hc from this post, first off I think a lonely ice skater could be rlly cool but also like I mentioned his parents were ice skaters and held him to a high standard and since so much of their love for him came from that when he wasn’t living up to their standards he felt less loved. More alone. He started to become a few years before the death game. When his relationship with his parents got worse and he started getting outcasted. He started falling into The Lonely. It was very very slow. But when he got into the game and found out what was happening, he immediately pushed it away. No matter how badly he wanted to fall into it and let it embrace him, he pushed it away. And clung to his humanity. He didn’t want to become a monster. Especially after what he saw what happened to the others. How they lost themselves. Eventually asunaro got tired of waiting and started isolating him. Soon enough they didn’t need to anymore, and He was doing it on his own. The closer he got to the lonely, the more tempting it was. eventually, he let go, fell into the fog and was never seen again.

MAI TSURUGI

Mai was touched by The Slaughter before due to asunaro seeing an opportunity when she started carrying around a knife but when she was brought into the death game, something touched by The Slaughter, and it’s affects over her got stronger, however it took her much longer to succumb to it than Ranmaru. Partially because she wasn’t as tied to it as Ranmaru was to the lonely but also because she had more self control. She was able to withdraw herself from it for a lot longer than he was. But, she did become. It had been terrorizing her for months to even over a year, and eventually, she broke. She became when she had an outburst of pent up anger and emotion towards asunaro and killed a ~dozen of employees and broke out to try and live normally again (or as normal as you can get when ur an avatar and a doll)

NAOMICHI KURUMADA

Kurumada was easily the hardest to assign. He never fit an entity like the others did. Asunaro bet on slaughter due to how violent he got during the incident, but he didn’t stay angry. He quickly burnt out and just didn’t know what to do. when he was taken into the death game and his memories were erased he did kinda regain his anger but it quickly faded when he got back them and even got worse to the point of being suicidal after he fully realized that everything had changed. He just wasn’t angry anymore. He was tired and did want to do anything. Asunaro couldn’t get him connected to the slaughter anymore. (I also didn’t wanna give the only character who’s not paper white the sudden violence one) he didn’t fit any other pre existing fears so he just kinda sat there for a while, watching the people he loved become monsters. And then The Extinction came into knowledge. The fear of the death of humanity and Catastrophic change. In the past few years everything has changed for him. The loss of his mentor and his dream of being an boxer, his humanity, he’s dead, he’s now a ghost possessing an ai stuck in a doll, he’s now stuck in a facility that did all of this to him. And hell he’s basically a different person now. Even the death of humanity works because he by definition isn’t human anymore. Not to mention he was in a death game and facility where humans die and are replaced with ai dolls. The Extinction also has a huge theme of tech, which works with kurumada considering he’s an ai now. Asunaro didn’t even have to anything to get him to start becoming. The Extinction taking kurumada is what made them realize it existed in the first place. After that they started to subtly push him in that direction. He was the last of the six to become an avatar. After Mai had her outbreak, the only ones left were him, hayasaka, and Hinako though she often went missing for days if not weeks at a time. And even then she’s only really come back to occasionally sleep even though she doesn’t need to anymore. So it was basically just Hayasaka. He did start to see some off the others again after he became an avatar. I like to imagine his avatar-ness being a lot like {this} I don’t know what to add to that, he’s just like that. He’d hang out in abandoned cites. The person finding him could be Hayasaka or Sara maybe.

- Other participants -

Q-TARO BURGERBURG

Q-Taro had a similar arc to Daisy. He was first properly marked by The Hunt when he went to America to learn how to use a gun. The person that taught him was a Hunter and they noticed that he he reeked of The Hunt, and used that opportunity to properly mark him. His affiliation with The Hunt became more obvious when the he was put into the game. The way he was so quick to weed out the weak and leave them for dead is something strongly associated with The Hunt. Because as mentioned by Jon in S5, ‘yes the hunt is associated with the Chase but it’s mainly the fear of being seen as weak and being left for dead, and being prey.’ His connection to the Hunt only got stronger as the game went on. During 3-B Safalin (or someone with asunaro (maybe Hayasaka)) mentions he’s becoming an avatar for The Hunt, and that he’s going to become a monster at some point. And this adds another reason he sacrificed himself and died in Keijis place. I also rlly like the idea of Q-Taro having a more animalistic fear. I also like the idea of him and Mai feeding together, since The Hunt and Slaughter are similar fears. 

MEGUMI SASAHARA

Megumi has always been touched by The Corruption, especially after she joined the police force and made her way to the top. but her death was what made her an avatar. she comes back probably in chapter 2 and attacks the cast. She's a Corruption avatar because I want her to be as disgusting on the outside as she is on the inside (and because of the corruption in the police system)

- Closing -

To end this off I would like too add some hcs, specifically encounters some of the people had with entities, as well as some alignment due to most of them dying before they could possibly become avatars. I already mentioned that Shin as well as most of the cast, had an encounter with The Web due to midori. Whether it was more subtly like most of the cast or more obvious like with shin.Kurumada had an encounter with The Buried, that’s why his first trial was like that. The real Hinako was end aligned. Keiji is touched by the corruption due to being part of the police force. In my original part I mentioned desolation!joe and vast!mishima. Desolation Joe could’ve possibly happened by him finding out about what asunaro did to his father (and what they did in general) and wanting to burn it to the ground (think Tim stoker). Vast Mishima actually could’ve happened before the death game. I can see him a lot like Simon, painter who fell in love with the sky. I feel like his also pretty curious so maybe he’d have an encounter with the vast thought it was fascinating and wanted to figure out what it is. But as soon as he realized what he was dealing with, he would’ve tried to get away. The main story/ death game is still relatively the same, just with the entities added in.

Thank you so much for reading!!! This has been something I’ve been working on since October, ever since I started The Magnus archives. You reading this and listening to my ramblings means a lot to me!!

[sleeplesssmoll]

Vertin's Bookshelf (Real Life References)

I'm only including real world references in this post. Some were too blurry for me to see so I only included the ones I can confirm. I tried to find pics of the original cover art too. Anything indented was copied from somewhere and I included all sources. I only did the searching and squinting!

VICTORIAN LONDON STREET LIFE in Historic Photographs

These rare historical photographs were taken from 1873 to 1877 and are part of Street Life in London, a book that was one of the first examples of social documentary photography. The authors, photographer John Thomson and journalist Adolphe Smith, aimed to reveal by the innovative use of photography and essays the conditions of a life of poverty in London. (source)

Die Verwandlung ( The Metamorphosis) by Frankz Kafa

(Note: Seems like Vertin has this book in its original German instead of translated into English)

Metamorphosis (German: Die Verwandlung) is a novella written by Franz Kafka and first published in 1915. One of Kafka's best-known works, Metamorphosis tells the story of salesman Gregor Samsa, who wakes one morning to find himself inexplicably transformed into a huge insect (German: ungeheueres Ungeziefer, lit. "monstrous vermin") and subsequently struggles to adjust to this new condition. The novella has been widely discussed among literary critics, who have offered varied interpretations. (source)

CURRUS TRIUMPHALIS ANTIMONIO (Triumphant Chariot of Antimony) : alchemy book published in 1646

From what I've gathered its focused on ancient medicine and hermetic philosophy? It's pretty old and the information around it is sparse. However, the supposed author has an interesting story:

Basil Valentine is the Anglicized version of the name Basilius Valentinus, ostensibly a 15th-century alchemist, possibly Canon of the Benedictine Priory of Saint Peter in Erfurt, Germany but more likely a pseudonym used by one or several 16th-century German authors. According to John Maxson Stillman, who wrote on the history of chemistry, there is no evidence of such a name on the rolls in Germany or Rome and no mention of this name before 1600. His putative history, like his imaginary portrait, appears to be of later creation than the writings themselves. Whoever he was, Basil Valentine had considerable knowledge of chemistry. He demonstrated that ammonia could be obtained by the action of alkali on sal-ammoniac (ammonium chloride), described the production of hydrochloric acid by acidifying brine of common salt (sodium chloride), and created ethyl chloride and oil of vitriol (sulfuric acid), among other achievements. (source)

There's a Beethoven vinyl record that I can't make out but it has the word "violoncello" in it? I tried sharpening it but still can't figure out the rest. I couldn't find the art either.

The last one is another Vinyl Record: Johann Sebastian Bach, Enrico Mainardi – Suiten Für Violoncello Solo Nr.1-6. I tried to find the closing looking image to the one used in the game. The record I found was actually remastered in Japan (2016) but its very close!

[coffeethoughtsandanxiety]

Genshin characters with an Artist partner Headcannons and Small Scenarios

Characters:

Zhongli

Ningguang

Albedo

Keaya

Alhaitham

Yoimiya

This is just straight up fluff. The reader is gender neutral (if you see any point where it isn’t let me know so I can fix it!) might do more of this if people like it.

Zhongli

Loves to watch you draw, could watch you do it for days if he could

When he tells starts talking about history you can pull out your sketchbook and draw the scenes he describes

If you ever decided to look up you would see him looking at you in complete adoration.

If you draw him, he will blush and hug you tightly . (You aren’t getting out of it anytime soon so get comfortable)

He will get you a new sketchbook and whatever art medium you use with Childe’s money but anyways

You and Zhongli decided to eat at Third-Round Knockout today, as you both sat waiting for your orders Zhongli talked you through the history of calligraphy in Liyue.

While you listened to you lover, your hands were focused on capturing his appearance while he was in his element. He spoke with such a passion it was hard not to watch in awe. He went on until you food arrived and you had to put away you sketchbook, as you did Zhongli watched with curiosity during the meal you would catch looking at your bag every so often.

Finally going home for the day you collapse onto the couch exhausted. Zhongli looks at you and chuckles, kneeling beside you and holding you hand to his face.

“Love, what were you drawing today at lunch?”

You open your eyes to look at him for a moment “oh just something that interests me greatly.”

“Oh? Do you mind if I look then?” When you shake your head no he opens you bag and retrieves the sketchbook. Your eyes closed once more and listen to the sounds of pages flipping, then as it stops you hear complete silence.

You opened your eyes once more, to find Zhongli’s face completely red staring at the drawing with wide eyes. You sit up and look at the page, and then look at him smirking.

“So I take it you like it then?”

Instead of answering he sets down the sketchbook and lays his head you legs taking your hand once more, a serene smile on his face.

“Mm yes I do.”

Ningguang

Oh she loves it so much

Immediately tried commissioned you to make a piece for the jade chamber

If you say no she’ll look at you like a kicked puppy and try to bargain with you

“Are you sure? What if I raise the amount a bit? It doesn’t have to be a large painting.”

If you just make something without pay expect some very expensive pens and pencils from her. It’s not enough in her opinion, she wants to give you whatever she can to make sure you’re happy

She loves your art and keeps a few of them proudly at her desk

If you draw her she’ll be so flattered

Ningguang always has a busy day so the time you spend together is precious to her. Today you had some time on your hand and decided to stay at the jade chamber as she worked.

To pass the time you sketched Ningguang at her desk, putting great detail into her expression, she was deep in thought and looked heavenly. As your pencil moves you watch her brows furrow in concentration. As she resolved whatever was troubling her, they relaxed once more. With the way the lights hit her, she is the picture of grace and serenity. Her eyes flick to you for a moment and a small smile graces her lips before she returns to her papers.

After a while she leans back in her chair and looks at your sketch. A little embarrassed you try to cover it up, but her hands are faster and holds your own in place so she can look closer at the page.

“My, my seems you have a talent I had yet to know of.”

A blush forms on your cheeks at her praise, you whisper a quite “Thank you.” Looking down to the piece.

“I’d love to get you to make something for my office. Do you have price for selling your artworks?”

“Huh?” You look at her in confusion “ oh I don’t really sell my sketches.”

Ningguang shoulders lower at your answer “Ah, I see.”

“Um but I can make a piece for you free of charge. I probably would have made you something anyways.”

Her eyes light up at your words “truly? That sounds wonderful.”

If anyone ever asks about the frames on her desk now, she’ll tell them all about her amazing and talented partner.

Albedo

ART SWAP ART SWAP ART SWA-

Albedo enjoys having another artist around

He’s really good at giving you a second opinion on your pieces

Really likes it when you draw him (no matter the style chibi, realistic, simply three lines? Doesn’t matter. You made it with him in mind.)

He loves going out to sketch with you

Will buy you matching sketchbooks, or pens that go together

Sketching had been a pastime for both of you for months now, In fact, it part of was how you had met. One day you were sketching passerby at the Angels share and then by chance you looked up to see someone across the room with a sketchbook looking at you.

Now as you spend your time off at different places sketching whatever you decide giving each other advice. At the moment you both are sketching at windrise, you had just finished sketching out a few calla lily and decided to draw Albedo.

As you started to sketch a blonde you picked out little details you never noticed before, trying to capture the moment perfectly. As you sketched you seemed to lose yourself in the details as the world seemed to still, so much that you didn’t notice Albedo coming over to look over your shoulder until you look to where he once was to find it void of your lover.

“Impressive, you seemed to capture my likeness completely.” Jumping slightly you looked to him.

“You really think so?”

He nodded in response, “would you mind parting with it?” You raised an eyebrow.

“No I don’t but why?” His face turned slightly pink as he avoided your eyes.

“I want something to remember you by…”

Kaeya

Lays on the couch dramatically

“Paint me like one of your Fontain girls”

He is so enamored by how you can make something out of just a few lines

He likes watching you sketch during meetings.

He’ll tell you so many stories just so you always have ideas to draw

Watching you helps him de-stress from his work

Absolutely loves it if you draw a pirate

It’s was your day off and you had decided to desires by sketching at home. Today you had decided to do landscapes but slowly it had turned to poses. When you were finishing you fifth pose you heard the door open.

“I’m back!” And in walked your boyfriend. After he laid down his sword and took his boots off he simply sauntered over to you and flipped into your lap. Used to his dramatic antics, you simply picked up your sketchbook and placed it on his head.

You both stayed like this for about fifteen minutes before Kaeya sat up to look at what you were doing.

“Oh, is that me?”

“Mhm, It is.”

“That’s looks nice. Let me know if you ever want me to pose for you.”

With a simple yes and a kiss to his cheek without looking up from the paper you continued to draw him in a fighting stance.

To bad. If you had looked to him you would have seen a very obvious blush on the Calvary Captains face that made its way to his ears.

Alhaitham

He’s going to critic you art. (Gently)

“It’s looks amazing, but I think you need to raise the eye just a bit…”

He really does love your art and wants everyone else to as well

You can make a bookmark for him to take to work! (He loves it so much. Everyone is to scared to asked where he got it though)

Kaveh tried to use it for a minute while he went to get something.

Kaveh has learned his lesson about taking Alhaitham’s special bookmark.

Alhaitham simply wanted to rest when he got back, he sat in the couch for a moment but as he sat his eyelids got heavier and heavier, and sure enough he felt himself drifting to sleep.

As he woke up he could hear the quiet scratched of pencil on paper. Opening one eye slightly he saw you in sitting on a chair in front of him.

Finally opening both eyes he moved to look at you. “Are you…sketching me?”

Looking up at him you eyes widen for just a second. “Oh sorry did I wake you up? I can try to be quieter please rest a bit.”

He gave a quiet him as later back down, but he couldn’t fall asleep. Instead he stayed in position and waited for you to finish.

After a bit he heard you get up and spoke “are you finished?”

“Yes, I thought you were asleep.”

“Couldn’t, come here.”

Putting you things on the table you walked over towards him once more. Not sure what you expected but as you came he grabbed your hand and pulled you to lay down with him.

With a sigh of relief he held you close, “Just stay like this for a while, please.”

Yoimiya

She’s is so stunned when she she’s you drawings for the first time.

“I didn’t know you could draw, this is amazing!”

You get to help design new fireworks with her

She asks you to teach her a bit and she draws you a picture! (It’s of you two, awe!)

She loves it when you come around and draw as she works on an order

Yoimiya had come by to talk to you about something when she heard you talking to someone.

“…and that’s the bridge over there, a dog passed by while I was drawing so I added them to the piece.”

Hiding behind a building she looked to where your voice was as she heard a child voice speak.

“Is that Yoimiya?”

“it sure is! I have a couple more on the other page as well”

As she saw you flip the pages she could help but smile. Awe you drew her!

“Why do you draw Big Sister Yoimiya so much?”

Yoimiya wanting to know as well leaned a bit closer.

“Well I only draw things I like. So I draw her a lot because I really like her!”

“Ohhh okay!”

What ever she was going to talk to you about was going to have to wait a bit because all she could do at that moment was blush a bright as a dendrobium.

Let me know who or what else I should do!

[agro-carnist]

You've mentioned the history of guro before, but I was wondering if you had any resources?

So, guro is a super niche thing outside of Japan so it's hard to research its history in any one particular place. If you want to learn more about ero guro as a genre in English you pretty much just have to go down separate rabbit holes piecing together what you can and looking at the art and literature of creatives of the genre like Shintaro Kago, Suehiro Maruo, Waita Uziga and Edogawa Ranpo. Most resources are going to be in Japanese. A lot of early ero guro was also destroyed so there are holes in its history.

I can offer a general summary of ero guro, but also mind you that I might not have everything exactly correct for the reasons stated above. Most of what I gather is just from being a fan of the genre and talking to other fans. Also apologies if this is kind of all over the place, I'm not going through and editing this, I'm just going to be a little autistic about this.

Ero guro has its roots in another art genre from the 19th century, muzan-e, which were woodblock prints that depicted violent acts in Japanese history. You also had the appearance of I-novels, semi-autobiographical works that described usually dark events in the author's life. Later ero guro gained popularity in the 1920s with the ero guro nansensu subculture. Ero guro nansensu focused on exploring violent and sexual themes that would have been considered shameful. There's the misconception in the west that guro means "gore," but it's instead a wasei-ego (borrowed English compound or abbreviated words) term for "grotesque." Ero guro and ero guro nansensu were not just blood and guts, and being bloody or violent doesn't make something guro. The art style focused on pushing the boundaries of what was acceptable, and featured horror-like themes, body horror, and body fluids. It's meant to explore what is deviant, taboo, or just outlandish or ridiculous. The contrast of eroticism and grotesque is the appeal.

Especially jut before and during WWII, the Japanese government heavily censored published media, and people were rebelling against that. A lot of ero guro works of this time were also tied to leftist publications. Kaizo magazine featured works from communists, anarchists, and other leftists, and as such, faced heavy censorship and was eventually completely banned. A lot of leftist literature at the time was anti-militarism, anti-authoritarianism, and anti-war while also embraced naturalism, humanism, and radical social and political views. Kaizo inspired other magazines and underground sale of media, which included ero guro. There was even more scrutiny for ero guro after a real event where a couple was practicing erotic asphyxiation and the woman ended up killing the man and castrating him. The Japanese blamed ero-guro books for the incident and decided to ban them. Unfortunately that means a lot of books and magazines were destroyed, and those that weren't were often printed on poor quality pulp paper, so little of it survives today. After the war and during American occupation, Kasutori became another magazine that inspired ero guro by publishing controversial sexual art and writing that also integrated horror themes. This was also a very traumatizing time in people's lives, so they were expressing this through horror. Both during and after the war, Japanese people were pushing for sexual liberation and freedom of expression, which is why I find ero guro so interesting. This was a time when even kissing was seen as a disgusting immoral act outside the bedrooms of married couples, and people were telling the government they couldn't be controlled. If anything they did was going to be judged they were going to hold no bars with what they could create. There are no confines to human expression. I was a fan of ero guro even before I became a leftist but it as an expression of progressive ideals and being intrinsically anti-fascist makes me love it even more. Taboo art has inseparable ties to leftism.

Another later influence of ero guro was Garo magazine, which was also started to promote Marxist artists and the gekiga art style, which differed from early manga art styles like Osamu Tezuka's that were more cartoony and whimsical. Gekiga focused on being more detailed and having more mature themes. Garo published several different bizarre themes during its publication. Ero guro also ended up influencing the rise of pink films (Japanese erotic movies) and exploitation films (movies that exploit the shocking or transgressive). Tentacle hentai also stems from ero guro media.

Hope this makes some sense to you and inspires you to look more into ero guro. The genre is so interesting and the random little paths you can find it taking you are very cool.