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cutielando · 7 months

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the smooth operation ~ carlos sainz

Summary: You reminisce about the start of your relationship with Carlos, which he likes to call "the smooth operation."

Words: 1.1k+

Other works: my masterlist

♡♡♡♡♡

Present

"Remember when we first met?" you randomly asked Carlos as you were laying on the couch together, watching the new season of the Formula 1 Netflix documentary.

"I do, why?" he asked, confused.

"Just thinking about how far we've come" you shrugged, snuggling further into his warm chest.

"I did make you a deal that you just couldn't refuse. The Smooth Operation of Carlos Sainz was a success" he proudly stated, making you laugh.

"That was the farthest thing from smooth, mi amor" you said between giggles, watching his now offended face.

"How dare you, I was the smoothest gentleman ever" he tried to sound serious but you knew he was trying to hold in his laughter as well.

"Whatever you say, amor"

"Do you remember when...?"

♡♡♡♡♡

Flashback ~ 4 years prior

The paddock was busier than you ever expected. If you thought the teams looked busy on the livestreams and TV, it was nothing compared to real life.

"Hello, can I help you?" a red-haired woman snapped you out of your thoughts, looking at you with a confused face as to why you were in the Ferrari garage.

"Sorry, my name is Y/N, I'm the PR intern. I was supposed to find-"

"Me. You were supposed to find me. Welcome aboard, Y/N. Buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy drive" she said and motioned for you to follow her.

You took one last glance at the busy garage full of engineers back and forth before you followed the woman.

Having been so focused on not getting lost, you didn't even realize where you were going which led to you crashing into a very toned body. You would've fallen had the stranger not caught you.

"Careful there, Miss" the strong Spanish accent spoke in your ear, instantly making your eyes widen.

You could've recognized that voice in a million, the accent making it obvious. You had just crashed into Carlos Sainz, the Ferrari driver.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't watch where I was going" you excused yourself once you stood on your two feet, finally looking up into his warm chocolate brown eyes.

"I haven't seen you around here" he noted, his expression cutely confused.

"I'm the PR intern. I was supposed to follow this red-haired woman down to her office but I lost sight of her and now I don't know where I'm supposed to go" you smiled sheepishly, making Carlos chuckle and nod.

"I can take you there, come on" he put a hand on the small of your back and started walking with you.

He didn't realize it, but his hand on your back was making you lose your mind. THE Carlos Sainz was actually talking to you. No, he was TOUCHING you.

You could've fainted at that alone.

"You don't have to, I'm sure you're busy with other stuff. I'll manage on my own" you hurried to say, knowing he most probably had better things to do than parade around with you.

"Nonsense, it would be my pleasure" he explained, flashing you a big smile as you continued to walk through the garage.

After a minute, you stopped in front of an office, and you could see the woman you had talked to earlier sitting at her desk and talking to someone on the phone.

"Thank you for showing me around" you said, turning to face him.

"No need to thank me, it was my pleasure. I'll see you around" he said and leaned in, kissing your cheek before walking away.

Your face was red as the Ferrari colors, your cheeks were warm and your eyes were wide, staring at the spot where he last stood.

You reached down and pinched yourself, making sure that what just happened wasn't all in your imagination.

♡♡♡♡♡

Flashback - 4 years ago, 2 weeks after meeting

Your belly hurt because of how much you had been laughing, Carlos following suit.

He had asked you out for dinner a couple of days prior after he had won a race, and you didn't have the heart to refuse him and celebrating his win with him.

"I don't remember the last time someone made me laugh so much" you said once your laughter died down, the smile still prominent on your face.

"I could say the same, it's been a while since I've been out with someone" he confessed, leaning back in his chair.

You admired him for a moment, taking in his beautiful facial features, admiring the way his white shirt hugged his toned body, the way his hair looked so soft and fell so beautifully on his eyes.

In your opinion, he looked just like Prince Eric from the Little Mermaid, your favorite childhood story.

"You're an amazing man, Carlos" the words rolled off your tongue before you could even realize what you were saying.

The smile that appeared on his lips was so radiant, making you feel all fuzzy on the inside knowing you were the one who caused it.

"You're the most wonderful person I have ever met" he took your hand that was resting on the table and brought it to his lips, kissing it lovingly.

Your eyes were stuck on his, a subtle blush coating your cheeks.

Before the night ended, Carlos walked you to your hotel room where you were staying, wanting to make sure you got there safely.

"I had a wonderful time tonight" you confessed once you stopped at your hotel room door, leaning back against it.

"Me too. I hope we can do it again" he proposed, making your heartbeat quicken and your palms sweaty.

"What will the team think of this? I practically work for you, this goes against work ethics. They'd make us stop seeing each other" you wondered out loud, the question having been nagging at you ever since you agreed to go out with him.

"They wouldn't and they won't. If they see we are happy together, they will leave us alone. Plus, they know better than to piss me or Charles off. We could walk away any time, they wouldn't risk it" he explained, making you bite your lips and chuckle.

"Okay then" you said and leaned up, pecking his lips slightly before hurriedly opening your door and stepping inside the room.

Once inside, you rested your back against the door and bit your lips, trying to suppress the stupid smile that was fighting its way to your lips.

♡♡♡♡♡

Present

"We've come a long way since then" you commented as you found yourself back in the arms of the man you love, smiling at all the memories.

"We have. And the future is only just beginning" he said and kissed your head, burying his face in your hair.

Maybe your relationship wasn't the most perfect all the time, but it was yours, and you wouldn't trade it for the world.

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number1mingyustan · 11 months

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Expiration Date (2/2) ☾✹

GIF by shatsusik

artist!joshua x model!fem!reader

Genre: smut, hurt, angst

Warnings: cursing, brief smut, explicit smut, mentions of pregnancy/miscarriage, arguments, a lot of angsty sad stuff

Summary: there’s only one way to go from here

Word Count: 4.1k

_______________________________________________

part 1

Out of the 206 bones in your body, you don't have a doubtful one that believes Joshua Hong is not your soulmate. Everything in you believes you were meant to be together.

You'd bet money that it was written somewhere in the stars.

He loved you and you loved him.

When you first met, everything fell into place with him so easily. He was kind and caring and things were simple with him. He would never shy away from compliments, often painting you because he thought you were so beautiful.

His muse.

It wasn't until he started painting you that his career really began to take off. His previous work was less abstract and interpretive, often capturing different colors and shapes. He never painted people, but of course that all changed when you came around.

His work was known before you, but his popularity skyrocketed, gaining worldwide attention and giving him much more credit within the art world.

You became a large part of his art. He's often mix different shapes and colors with your features. Your eyes, your breasts, your legs, everything he found beautiful about you really.

It gained a lot of attention and people grew curious to know who the mystery woman that appeared in all his new art was. Much like Joshua himself, they too thought she was beautiful.

But that was then. When your relationships still made you feel like you were floating and the honeymoon phase felt like it would never end.

You and Joshua Hong were meant to be part of each other's lives, you don't question that. However, you do question how long you were meant to be together.

---------------Two Years Ago ---------------

"I'm just so glad you guys were able to come down here and visit," Mrs.Hong says for the fourth time since the two of you arrived in LA.

You smile at her excitement.

"I hardly hear from my son since he moved all the way up to New York," she continues, shooting her son a glare.

Joshua rolls his eyes playfully. "I call you every week. Don't be so dramatic."

"It's not the same," she frowns. "I like having you here with me."

"Yeah well I've been busy with my art and everything," he sighs, pulling you closer to his side. His hand is on yours, thumb drawing small circles on your knuckles.

You lean into his touch, breathing in his natural scent. He's so warm and comforting. "Yes... extremely busy," you pout. "He does so much nowadays I can't even keep up with it all. All kinds of projects and interviews, don't know how he does it."

He smiles at you. "I've got the best support backing me up," he pats your head lightly. "With you by my side, I can handle anything."

He opens his mouth to speak again, but he's interrupted by the ringing of his phone.

"Oh- one second. Angel is calling," He excuses himself from the table and exits to take his phone call.

Angelina Yoon, his manager. You absolutely despised her. She was a great manager, you give her credit for that. She's incredibly smart and good at her job, but on a personal level? Couldn't stand her.

You didn't like the way she talked to you or the way she talked to Joshua. She flirted often and acted rudely toward you. Of course any time you brought it up to Joshua, he brushed it off. He'd tell you 'you're being dramatic' or 'she's just doing her job.'

Fucking Angel.

Not a very fitting name for her.

"Soooo where's the ring?" His mother asks, grabbing your hand and inspecting your fingers.

"Ring?" you ask.

"He hasn't asked yet?" she raises an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"Aishh this boy," she sighs. "Four years and he still hasn't popped the question."

You retreat, pulling your hand back slowly and pushing your hair behind your ear. "Oh yeah... I mean it's fine. He works so much you know? I think he's just waiting for a better time.... did he mention anything to you about it? L-Like is he planning something?"

"No, I'm afraid not. If he is planning for it, he hasn't told me about it yet at least. I just assumed after all this time he would have done it already. I'll have to talk some sense into that boy," she scoffs.

Your heart breaks a little, but you don't let it show. It's already been a few months since it was first brought up. It was in a similar manner, his mother had brought it up in conversation months prior and put ideas into your head. But that time, Joshua was sitting at the table and he didn't seem too keen on the way his mother had suggested it.

You asked him about it that night and he explained to you how it wasn't the right time with his career taking off. It hurt, but you were understanding. It was something you strayed away from even bringing up.

It stung though.

When Joshua's art first started to gain popularity, Angel suggested keeping your relationship and identity a secret. No one knew who you were, they just thought you were pretty and that Joshua captured your beauty perfectly.

It would create more buzz for him to be capturing some sort of mystery woman. Angel talked about how much it would help his career to keep you in the shadows and him in the light. So you did it.

For nearly the first three years of your relationship, you were a secret. A mystery, a pretty face on a canvas with no name, a nobody. It wasn't easy, having to sneak around and keep your entire life private.

Part of you thinks you lost yourself in those first three years, but that's an entirely different issue.

Thankfully, after you did finally go public with things, the modeling agencies came flooding in and you were in high demand.

"Don't worry about it... I don't want to put any more pressure on him," you give her a half-smile.

She feels for you. "You're too nice sweetheart."

Before anything else can be said, Joshua walks back into the kitchen with an excited smile. You and his mother both look at him as he sits back down.

"So.. Angel just told me there's a huge art exhibit coming up in Sydney, Australia and their main exhibit just fell through so they want me to replace them," he beams.

"That's so great Joshie!" you smile and hug him. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks honey, they want me to do all new pieces though, and they need me in Australia in two days. The exhibit is in three weeks," he explains.

"But we're supposed to stay down here for another week... and then we have our trip planned for Aruba. Josh... the whole point of this trip was so that we could spend our time together and with family. I cleared my schedule for this Joshua." you sigh. "Besides how are you gonna put together a whole exhibit's worth of pieces in two weeks."

"I know baby... but this is important work stuff. You understand, right? We can always plan another trip, but this is a big opportunity for me. My work would be extending all the way into Australia," he places his hand on your shoulder. "Besides I'll probably just use those sketches I've been working on"

"I mean yeah... it's really great Josh, for you. What about me? I cleared my entire schedule for this," you frown.

"I know baby, I'm sorry. I'm sure we can just book two tickets and you can come with me if you want," he suggests.

"I think I'd rather we just go home. You'll be working a whole bunch in Australia anyway," you bite the inside of your cheek.

"There's no time to go back to New York honey. They want me out there in two days. If you want me to book you a flight home, I can do that if you really wanna go back, but I can't go with you. I'm gonna have to leave straight from here. I was hoping you'd come with me."

You frown. "I don't really want to fly alone."

"I mean, you can stay here with mom, until I get back of course. I won't object to it, but I've got to book my flight in the next few hours. So just let me know ASAP," he leaves a quick kiss on your head and stands back up.

"Sorry ma, I'll come visit soon," he hugs his mother and kisses her cheek. "I promise... love you"

His footsteps grown faint as he makes his way upstairs for the night. Your heart breaks a little more. His mother glances at you, she really feels for you.

"I'm getting tired... think I'll go join him," you tell her with a sad smile. "Thank you so much for dinner, I appreciate it."

You give her a light hug before disappearing into the bedroom with Joshua.

_____

He got you pregnant that night. He was much more excited than you were, he couldn't keep his hands off of you. Pulled you onto his lap not long after you walked into the room.

He was quick to strip you and pin you down onto the bed. You were still upset, but the pleasure was a temporary fix for the pain.

Sweaty and passionate lovemaking between the thin sheets of the old bed. His hands were all over you that night. You let the pleasure consume you, allowed it to pull you away from reality.

He told you how much he loved you as he drilled his cock inside of you, even had to cover your mouth with his hand to keep you from being too loud. He whispered dirty words and sweet nothings into your ear and left purple hickies along your skin. He pounded into you over and over again that night, switching positions halfway through.

The bed was old, creaked and shifted every time he thrusted his hips into you. You came twice, once on his fingers and once on his cock.

And when he came, he came inside of you. It wasn't unusual for him to do so, but for some reason your birth control wasn't very effective that time.

You wouldn't know it that night, but you realize that was the best and worse night of your life.

Because as quickly as it came, it went.

You stayed with his mom in LA for the next month while he was in Australia. He didn't call you every day the way he said he would, but that wasn't the least bit shocking. He ended up having to stay another week after the showcase to meet with different people about his work.

While he was sitting in meetings and being interviewed, you were pacing around the bathroom anxiously awaiting the results of the pregnancy test sitting on the edge of the sink.

You didn't tell him until you went back home to New York. You ended up flying alone anyway, Joshua thought it was pointless to fly to LA and then New York when both of you could just go to New York and see each other at home.

He was beyond excited when you did tell him and foolishly got your hopes up about what the baby would mean for the two of you. You'd convinced yourself that having the baby would make Joshua more involved. You thought his excitement would translate into him being more present.

But then you lost the baby two months later and it caused you two to drift more. The doctors told you it was a miracle you were even able to conceive in the first place. They said you were basically infertile and if you were ever able to somehow conceive again, the fetus wouldn't even make it through the first trimester. You fell into a depressive episode, making reckless decisions driven by hurt and pain.

You had to quit modeling and be admitted. The next 9 weeks you got treated and you got better. Although things got better, you'd never say they reached the level of good.

Better is simply and improvement, not necessarily success.

Joshua never saw it that way. He didn't see the way you were still hurting and suffering. He thought you getting treatment and getting better meant that everything was okay. He thought that because you saw a therapist twice a week, that you would just be okay. Because you took two small pills every morning, he thought you were no longer suffering.

It's your own fault partially, you played the role. You hid your hurt well, contributed to his thoughts about you being fine. At first, it seemed like he cared a lot more. But with him constantly asking "Are you Okay?" it was easier for you to just say yes. It was easier for him to believe it too. He threw himself back into his art and didn't put in the extra effort to ensure the well-being of your mental health after that.

It took two years and a very heated argument for him to really see it.

---------------Modern Day ---------------

The bed is empty when you wake up in the morning. It's not a foreign feeling, unfortunately. But with everything that occurred last night, it feels worse than usual.

You're not sure where your relationship stands right now. There's a tightness constricting in your chest and you're dreading the idea of getting out of bed.

After nearly ten minutes of you rolling around in the bed and avoiding it, you finally got yourself out of the bed. You wince when your foot first meet the bedroom floor. A reminder of everything that occurred last night.

After you go into the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face, you walk cautiously and quietly through the penthouse. The temperature dropped again and the marble floors are cold on your bare feet.

When you reach the living room, you don't see Joshua anywhere. His blanket and pillow are still on the couch, but you don't see him anywhere.

You let out a breath of relief. You're really not ready to speak with him yet.

You walk into the kitchen, seeing that the glass is still shattered on the ground. You reach down, picking up some of the larger shards.

"Don't worry about it, I'll clean it up," Joshua says from behind you.

You jump at the sound of his voice. You weren't expecting him to come up behind you and startle you. However, you remain silent.

"You need to take your meds, it's past 11. You were asleep for a while," he says and begins picking up the other large shards of glass.

You stand to your feet and nod. You don't look at him, you can't. You simply walk around the island and open on of the cabinets to grab your medicine.

"You have been taking your meds everyday, right?" he asks.

It feels even colder in the kitchen suddenly. The tension in the air hasn't subsided. If anything, it's grown thicker.

"Yes Josh," you say.

Even after all those nights of sleeping alone, Joshua greeted you with a good morning and a kiss. At the very least you could expect some sort of greeting.

But now? Nothing.

"Don't forget to eat something," he reminds you quietly.

You nod. "Right."

You pop a slice of bread into the toaster and wait. It only takes two minutes, but it feels like an eternity. Joshua grabs the dustpan and broom to sweet up the glass.

It's uncomfortable quiet. Your stomach is turning in knots and your leg is bouncing anxiously.

"Where did you just come from? I didn't know where you were," you finally break the unbearable silence.

"On the balcony, needed some fresh air," he says, continuing to sweep up the remaining glass.

"It's thirty degrees outside."

He shrugs, disposing of the glass properly. "Just needed some fresh air. It's not much warmer in here anyway, damn thermostat is broken."

He avoids eye contact with you, stepping away from the kitchen quietly. Your heart rate spikes.

"Joshua..." you start. "We have to talk about-"

You're cut off when your toast pops up.

"Your breakfast is ready," he says shortly and fully leaves the kitchen.

Your eyes follow him. He walks back into the living room, grabbing the blanket he slept under and folding it back up. His footsteps fade as he disappears into the penthouse toward your bedroom.

You sigh and take a few bites out of your toast. You don't have much of an appetite with the way your stomach is churning. You chase the two small pills with a sip of water before walking toward your bedroom.

When you step into the room, Joshua is already in there making up your bed. He's cleaning to distract himself, to avoid you.

" 'Shua," You say quietly, leaning against the door frame.

"Wait," he continues folding the blankets on your bed. "I'm doing something right now."

" 'Shua," you say a little louder.

"Did you wash your dishes? I know you used a glass for the water," he asks.

"Joshua." You say firmly.

He sighs, giving up and sitting down on the bed. He runs his hands from his face up to his hair. You sit down on the bed next to him. In reality it's only a few moments, but it feels like an eternity of silence.

"I'm sorry," he starts.

"Don't apologize... we both said some hurtful, but truthful things last night," you bite the inside of your cheek.

A beat.

"You were right... I did give up on us a long time ago. But it wasn't unprompted, and I want you to understand that. I gave up before you could."

"What?" he asks, turning his head to look at you.

"You work so much... and so hard. I had no idea artists did so much until I met you, but your work has always been your priority. I love that you're passionate about your art, but you'll always put your work before me."

"That's not true," he defends.

"It is."

A beat.

You and Joshua Hong were meant to be, not meant to last. You shared your best and worst moments with him. You spent nearly 6 years creating unforgettable memories and sharing experiences you hold dear to your heart.

Your love was like a candle, it was once lit and burned with fiery passion. But it eventually burned out and faded into nothing but melted wax.

Fire may be pretty to look at, but touch it and you get burned.

"But I love you,"

"You don't.... not anymore"

"Don't try to tell me how I feel."

"Josh-"

"I don't know what it is you're trying to get at or do here, but it's fucked up. If this is you're way of trying to make excuses for falling out of love with me or something, then that’s just wrong Y/n.”

"Joshua! This relationship is not the way it was five years ago and you know it. You couldn't even thank me in your speech last night."

"You told me you were over that. I told you tha-"

"Stop cutting me off and let me speak!" you shout. "You forgot to thank me in your speech while I was standing in front of you with a painting of me displayed in my background. I have become an afterthought in your life and not a priority anymore. You managed to forget about me while looking directly at me... and a painting you did of me. If you loved me, if you really loved me, I would have been the first person you thanked. I wouldn't have slipped your mind Joshua. It may have been a mistake, but it told me everything I needed to know."

He frowns.

"You think you still love me because you love the idea of me. You-you love the way I look on a canvas and in exhibits. You love that even after 5 years of painting me, it still makes you money. But those fucking paintings don't have feelings he way I do," your eyes start to water. "You love the way Angel validates your artwork of me and is constantly working to get your work out there. You would never forget to thank Angel, because she's not just an idea or an afterthought to you. She gets you what you want and I just... don't."

"Oh my gosh how many times do I need to prove to you that I'm not fucking Angel?" he groans and stands up.

"Are you seriously still not listening to me? Not once did I accuse you of fucking her, and that's all you took away?! Fuck's sake Joshua!" You exclaim and stand to your feet. "I'm done."

"What do you mean 'you're done?'"

"It means... I can't do this anymore."

"So what... that's it? You wanna break up because of an argument?"

"IT IS NOT JUST AN ARGUMENT!" You scream. "I don't know how many ways there are for me to say it. I am exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally. Last night... you said you weren't the only one who lost the baby. But when was the last time I modeled Joshua? I didn't get that chance to just jump back into my work after the loss. I'm sure it affected you, it was a horrible thing to go through, but I didn't just throw myself back into my work and move on. I am still struggling every day and you don't love me anymore. I have no reason to stay here with you."

The truth is... Joshua knows exactly what you're saying. For the first time, he's really really listening to you. He knows what you're saying is true, but he's having a hard time accepting it.

Joshua has never been good with criticism, being an artist and all.

The room is silent aside from you sniffling as you wipe away your tears. Joshua feels the knots twisting in his stomach and it's making him feel uneasy.

“I’m sorry… I know I should just accept it but I can’t. I’m hearing you, I really am. I just don’t want to let go… I won’t just throw away the last five years between us.”

“We can’t keep doing this Josh… holding onto nothing. There’s nothing that could really fix us at this point.”

“We could do therapy..” he suggests.

“Pay $200 a week just to have someone tell us what we already know? C’mon Josh, you know you don’t have the time for that.”

“I’d make the time.”

“You haven’t for the last few years… let’s not kid ourselves”

“So… you just wanna give up? You don’t want to try anymore?”

“I have been trying Josh. But it’s exhausting and there’s no point if there’s nothing worth holding onto anymore.”

“So… you don’t love me anymore either?”

“What?”

“You don’t love me anymore, do you? It’s not just me, right?”

“Yeah Josh, it’s mutual.”

His heart aches when you say it. The words leave a bitter aftertaste on your tongue.

"Okay," he says finally.

"Okay what?" You sniffle.

“Okay then… we’re done. There’s no point in staying together anymore.”

He runs the palms of his hands from his face to his hair and inhales.

“I hate that is had to come to this,” you say quietly.

“Yeah… me too” his voice breaks. “I can be out of here by tonight… you can keep the penthouse.”

“I couldn’t afford to live here on my own anyway, I’ll probably just uh- go back with my parents” You sniffle.

“You don’t-“

“It’s better that way, really.”

Silence fills the room. There’s so much to process. You really just ended things with the love of your life, your soulmate, your Joshie.

He sits on the floor with his back against the bed. He tilts his head back and sighs. You join him, sitting in an identical position next to him.

It doesn’t even feel real yet.

You’ve spent the last 5 years by his side with your mind filled with thoughts of how your story would unfold.

The aching in your heart hasn’t stopped, but you know this is for the best. It was long overdue, past the expiration date.

Much like a carton of milk, you can only drink it until it expires. Once it expires, it's no longer good and there's no way of restoring it to the way it used to be.

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#seventeen smut #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen angst #joshua hong #joshua x reader #seventeen joshua #joshua seventeen #svt joshua #joshua svt #joshua smut #joshua angst #kpop

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roomwithanopenfire · 15 days

Text

Six Sentence/ Stitch Sunday

Happy Sunday everyone!! Thanks for the tags @monbons and @rimeswithpurple!

I've been super busy this week but have managed to do a tiny bit of writing/editing this weekend. I'm working more my COBB, going back and cleaning up the first chapter for the posting date as it creeps closer and closer.

Here's actually six sentences from the beginning of that chapter:

I don’t normally follow cute boys I meet in coffee shops home, but there was something about Simon. He literally ran into my table, knocking my coffee all over my school notes and only barely missing my laptop—I should have thought he was an imbecile. But he was cute. That was hard to deny. I looked up over the soggy mess that was my notebook to find a golden haired boy with a sheepish smile. He insisted on buying me a new coffee and a sandwich and then we ended up talking.

I promise you this is only a meet-cute and nothing terrible will happen to them. Absolutely zero angst, you know me. All fluff. Only happiness. Would I lie to you?

I also did some crocheting this weekend. I decided to try doing some tapestry crochet again, which I've only done once before but I had so much fun doing it last time so I figured I'd try it again! I've discovered that the only two things I like crocheting are blankets and tapestry crochets. Any other projects I either haven't finished or didn't have as much fun making.

But this is not to say I am good at tapestry crochet. I adapted a pattern I found online to match the colors I have, and I'm not super happy with all the colors turned out, but I wasn't going to buy new yarn for this.

Here's the adapted pattern, an in progress photo of the back, the completed front, and the completed back:

The edges are SO wonky because I am very beginner at tapestry crochet and my tension becomes so tight when I'm changing colors. But I had fun making it so I'm counting it a win!

Tags and Hellos!

@alexalexinii @angelsfalling16 @arthurkko @artsyunderstudy @beastmonstertitan

@blackberrysummerblog @bookish-bogwitch @brendughh @brilla-brilla-estrellita @cutestkilla

@drowninginships @emeryhall @facewithoutheart @fiend-for-culture @hertragedyconnoisseur

@horsesarenotdeer @hushed-chorus @iamamythologicalcreature @larkral

@m1ndwinder @noblecorgi @onepintobean @prettygoododds @raenestee

@rbkzz @run-for-chamo-miles @shrekgogurt @skeedelvee @supercutedinosaurs

@talentpiper11 @thewholelemon @valeffelees @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

#six sentence sunday #stitch sunday #my writing #my crochet #carry on fanfiction #snowbaz #tapestry crochet

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ikroah · 10 months

Text

I've given everything I have, didn't know I'd run up such a tab, Oh, Lord, ain't the reapin' ever done? —“Ain’t the Reapin’ Ever Done,” Eddie Noack (1972)

It Keeps Right On a-Hurtin’ #25 - Ring-a-Ding-Ding IV

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Read IKROAH on Archive of Our Own

Notes / Original Pencils / Transcript:

Notes:

At long last! As I've mentioned a few times, this issue got...delayed because I spent 2023 getting divorced, falling in love again, going outside, touching grass, laughing, playing, et cetera. But even if you toss all that aside this issue would still have been a doozy because I've been wanting to try an issue in this artstyle, and with a much large page size, for...well, for over a year now, ha. The thumbnails for this issue are nearly a whole year old!

Usually I have a lot of fun commentary about how a script changes over the course of working on an issue, or how the production panned out, but the making of this issue has been stretched over such a long time that I can't even begin to really describe it. Lemme just show you the original pencils so we can get out of here and move onto the next one, which will hopefully take far less than the time it takes to carry a pregnancy to term.

Oh, actually, there is one thing! If you spotted this happy couple on the first page, then check out @memepipboy's comics too.

Also, here's Vulpes in the dead Yamcha pose.

Which is also about how I feel after going on a bender of productivity last week to get the whole issue colored before it slipped away again.

Original Pencils:

Transcript:

EXT. NEW VEGAS STRIP. A small plaza outside the casinos is flushed with lights and people, all coming and going, even at such a late hour. The crowd is monitored by the Strip's POLICE SECURITRONS. Two people are exiting a casino: ROSE OF SHARON CASSIDY, and

MESSENGER: AGNES SANDS!

AGNES: Oh God, I'm--

AGNES: --wait, are you NCR?

The MESSENGER that has called out AGNES' name is a surly and middle-aged man in uniform.

MESSENGER: Correct, ma'am. I'm a messenger.

AGNES: Courier, huh.

CASS: Hell do you want, boot boy? We're busy.

MESSENGER: Your presence is requested at the embassy on the south side of the Strip.

The exchange has caught the eye of a BYSTANDER READING A NEWSPAPER.

AGNES: You said requested, as opposed to, um, required?

MESSENGER: Yes. I'll be blunt with you, Sands: the incident near Gecko and your subsequent desertion have made you a fugitive of military police since 2269. I'm sure you know that--but this is not an arrest.

MESSENGER: This isn't even about your personal case, necessarily. It's only from chance reports at the Mojave Outpost and Boulder City that intelligence was made aware of your presence here at all. The NCR merely wants to let you know that you--as well as your companion--are persons of interest to us in two of our other open investigations: the Legion raid on Nipton, and recent terrorist attacks on merchants in the area such as Crimson Caravan.*

CAPTION: *Various events of IKROAH #7-16. -Lou.

MESSENGER: There's also some other matters, which are classified.

CASS, at AGNES' side, listens intently. Then she glares at AGNES, who is grimacing but avoiding her eye contact.

MESSENGER: Now, our intelligence officers only want to speak to you, not arrest you. So there should be no cause for alarm or any worry on your part. It's your choice to come to us willingly--and on your own time. But--

AGNES sweats nervously.

MESSENGER: My orders are to make this next part very clear. This is merely the current state of our interest in you and your companion. If your presence does become required, as opposed to merely requested, by the NCR--and it very well may--

MESSENGER: --consider this a nice, friendly notice. I'm here because the NCR knows where you are. And the NCR wanted you to know that, because it wants you to keep it in mind as you mull over whether--and when--you might be feeling co-operative. That is all. We'll be in touch, Miss Sands.

The MESSENGER departs. The BYSTANDER READING A NEWSPAPER observed the entire exchange. The moment that the MESSENGER is gone, he speaks:

BYSTANDER: Ahh...I must admit, it does make me glad when people discuss my work.

AGNES: W-what?

CASS: Pardon?

BYSTANDER: And it was fortunate, as it turns out, that you were spared that night in Nipton.

AGNES: Oh...oh no--

CASS: --YOU?

BYSTANDER: Very fortunate indeed--

The BYSTANDER grins.

BYSTANDER: --that you were spared from the burning tires, spared from the teeth of the dogs, spared even from the cross and stake--all of this, there, was the finest work yet of VULPES INCULTA--against the profligates of the west, and for the glory and the might of CAESAR'S LEGION.*

CAPTION:*IKROAH #9. -Lou.

AGNES and CASS are transfixed where they stand, taken aback by the reveal. CASS scowls while AGNES squirms with terror. She remembers:

The raging fires and the horror show of NIPTON. Crucified bodies and dogs to eat the corpses.

VULPES: During our talk in Nipton, I admittedly became quite curious about you, Agnes. You had intrigued me for some reason, and I wanted to know what it was. Only later did I finally place it.

Her hands up in front of her face, a futile barrier between herself and three men. Benny. His gun, pointed at her, shining in the light from the moon and the lantern.

VULPES: A tabloid story from the news on the radio. A courier shot in the head near Goodsprings Cemetery.

The SECURITRON with the cowboy face, VICTOR, carried her out of her grave. Or so she was told.

VULPES: --who miraculously returned from the grave. It was you.

There were three men. Two besides Benny. She found them later, one was dead and the other had two more with him.

VULPES: It was also you, as I would later discover...who slaughtered that pack of Great Khans in Boulder City. Clearly no ordinary courier.

VULPES: Why, even now, you assassinate the leader of the Chairmen in his own casino--in his own bedroom, no less. Very impressive.

AGNES: But how did you--

VULPES: Know? From one saboteur to another, I do have to commend you, Agnes. You're quite covert...for someone who had no reason to realize that she was already being watched, that is. Just as we have been watching Benny, the dearly departed.

VULPES grins wider.

VULPES: My network of frumentarii have detected something of a conspiracy in Vegas...something about a certain piece of platinum, I hear. Which reminds me--the mail has gotten so unreliable lately, don't you think?

AGNES is visibly panicked as VULPES continues.

VULPES: The NCR'S interest in you is not misplaced, Agnes Sands, given your recent exploits.

CASS is suddenly going down the casino steps--

VULPES: But I doubt that they are as quite aware of the bigger picture as--

--and raising her fist, and--

VULPES: the--

--punching VULPES in the face.

SFX: WHAM!

VULPES is flung to the ground, his nose bloodied. One of his teeth have been knocked clean from his mouth. He stares upward, in disbelief, up at the furious woman who's laid him out.

VULPES: Ah...yes. Rose of Sharon Cassidy. I've--

PTOOEY. A wad of spit splats against VULPES' cheek. CASS points a finger at him as he shuffles back onto his feet.

CASS: Get my name out of your mouth right now. I'm not afraid of you. You just piss me off. And unless you get lost I'll deck you so hard that you forget my name. Hopefully how to form complete sentences, too.

CASS: I think we've heard enough, you goddamn dogfucker, and whatever you're selling, we don't fucking want any.

VULPES: Ah...so no less impudent than last time, despite...well.

VULPES wipes the blood from his face with the back of his hand, muttering from behind his palm in LATIN.

VULPES: Sī cognōscere nōn vīs canis senex tum nēquam praeter futuendum eris.

VULPES reaches his bloody hand toward his dislodged hat.

VULPES: Agnes--the Legion has a particular use for you, a use which comes with certain courtesies that are not extended to your companion.

VULPES: ...she would do well to keep this in mind.

VULPES returns his hat to his head. AGNES has rejoined CASS at the base of the steps.

AGNES: "Use?" What use? I don't have anything--I mean, I'm not--whatever you--whatever the Legion wants with me, I don't know anything. About this, or about Benny. If you want the chip, I--

VULPES: Agnes, Agnes--you're a terrible liar. Or else just terribly naive.

VULPES turns to leave.

VULPES: If the NCR is interested in you, and they are, then seizing you for ourselves is certainly useful enough on its own. But truthfully, this isn't about the NCR. The Legion is interested in you--I am interested in you--because Mr. House is interested in you. You and that chip.

AGNES: Mr. House!? But I...no, no, I just thought the chip--

VULPES: Vale, courier. And vale, Rose of Sharon Cassidy. And be safe in your travels, if you can help it--you never know when somebody might be watching.

As VULPES departs, a SECURITRON approaches behind AGNES and CASS, casting a shadow over the both of them.

#fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #courier six #rose of sharon cassidy #vulpes inculta #agnes sands #caesar's legion #new california republic #ncr #ikroah archive #volume 02 #25

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creedslove · 1 year

Text

STUDYING

Pedro Pascal x f!reader

A/N: I got the inspiration for this piece during my own spanish class this week, I was supposed to be paying attention but I was thinking of him and my upcoming test and got distracted. Also, it's worth to mention that reader studies Spanish in a language school that teaches adults foreign languages just like I do in real life (and I'm 26) which means there's NOTHING to do with highschool or underage reader at all. If this kind of school isn't a thing in your country then it's too bad, lol!

Summary: Pedro helps you study and get your Spanish essay done on time but you get distracted by your personal tutor at home

Warnings: fluff, sweet boyfriend Pedro and a tiny bit of smut towards the end

1.2k words

It was about your third or fourth sigh that caught Pedro's attention. He knew you were having your moment of studying and he always made sure to give you your space, so you could focus, do your tasks, spread all your pens and papers with endless notes across the table and finish everything on time.

However, this time he could tell by the times you ripped pages off your notebook and crumpled it things weren't going so smoothly. He'd borrowed one of your highlighters to highlight his lines in the new script he was engaging into, being comfortable in the living room when he heard you mumbling something about 'fucking that shit'

He frowned curiously as he knew you absolutely adored studying Spanish, you enjoyed it so much you often spent hours making cute and colorful vocabulary summaries you'd learned in class, and you were nerdy to the point of writing essays without the teacher requesting them, just for fun, writing about random topics you enjoyed.

And Pedro was also aware you didn't study Spanish because of him. You'd been studying it for at least a year before you two met, knowing it had to do with the possibility of getting a better position, or a new job, or a nice trip abroad or even understanding movies and series. As he knew, you loved studying languages and that was one of the things he loved about you. And also the fact he could practice it at home with you, enjoying the fact you very often got his internal jokes or pet names you called each other.

In reality, he knew he wasn't the reason why you started learning Spanish, but he knew he was the reason why you kept studying it and made sure to get good results. And he loved it.

One thing you really enjoyed about Pedro was that he never intruded in your business. He knew you were smart enough to learn it by yourself and only if you needed help he would offer some. You avoided asking him for help as much as you could, you just wanted to do things on your own and you also loved his proud face when you were able to carry full conversations on different topics or understand a whole movie without having to rely on subtitles. But that essay was driving you insane.

Your test was coming up and it made you nervous. For the first time, you began feeling the difficulties in the language as the grammar was becoming harder and harder and you didn't know what else you could do to memorize that. Your essay, or composición as your boyfriend would say, was stressing you out, as nothing seemed good enough, you've written better, hell, even Pedro had told you many times how good your writing was and he wouldn't lie to you, that's for sure. But yet, you weren't convinced and when you finished that piece of shit you called a text you were already exhausted.

You began collecting your pens and pencils and organizing them back into the case and cleaning up the table when Pedro walked towards you. He had a sweet smile on his face and gently stroked your cheek, his curious brown eyes scanned the place until they fell onto your work.

"¿Qué pasa mi amor?" He asked in his beautiful, sexy accent and pulled a chair, sitting next to you. "I know you can do everything, but if you want, I can help you" he offered gently, not really thinking you'd agree with it, but when you handed him your text he grabbed his reading glasses, those black ones you loved and that always distracted you. At that point, you didn't give one single shit about tests, grades or evaluations, you would love to climb his lap and ride your handsome boyfriend while he dirty talked in spanish into your ear until exhaustion.

You barely noticed him talking to you, you were too busy looking at him, his tight sweater looking great on him, his messy soft hair, the way he softly bit his lips unconsciously when he focused on reading and those damn glasses.

"Y/N? Princesa? Are you listening to me?" He raised his brow and stared at you, waiting for you to reply. You swallowed hard and looked at him, feeling your cheeks flushing as you were caught fantasizing about your boyfriend.

"Y-yeah, I am, sorry cariño, I was just thinking of the test" you lied and looked at what he was pointing out in the paper. Pedro had taken a red pen and circled some words, you had either misspelled those or just put them in the wrong place, but overall your text was pretty decent. He gently explained you what you got wrong and how you could fix it better, though he could also tell you weren't really caring about that at the moment and knowing his sweet little puta very well, he knew whatever was on your mind had nothing to do with tests or school.

"Are you having wet dreams about your Spanish teacher, Y/N?" He folded his arms and looked at you "because I can just tell your mind is miles away from your studies and by the way you are clenching your thighs together you are probably very wet now" he smirked and loved how red you got. You knew there was no way you could fight that and lying would be just stupid. You bit your lips and chuckled, placing your hand on his thigh "I would have these if they fired that annoying cunt and hired you instead, though I can't complain about my private tutor" you whispered and leaned into his body, kissing his exposed neck gently and before he had any other action, you got up and immediately sat on his lap, facing him and pecking his soft lips gently, feeling his facial hair tickling you. His hands immediately wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, at the same time you raised your ass lifting your skirt up and feeling the contact of his rough jeans against your thin panties, moving your hips slowly against his, the friction on your core sending shivers down your spine just as Pedro felt his pants tightening at how hard he got.

"I know you want to help me, but we both agree this isn't my best work, so I can even rewrite it later if you want, but now…" you kissed him deeper this time and you felt how Pedro bucked his hips against yours, looking for more touch, more exposure of your skin on his.

"Y/N… you're teasing me" he groaned and only got a smirk as a reply

"Lo que quiero decir és que podríamos hacer otras cosas ahora, papi… ¿Qué te parece?" You whispered against his ear knowing it drove him insane when you spoke with him like that.

Pedro pulled your panties to the side and ran his thumb up and down your hard clit, feeling how wet you were and nodded.

"Sí, pero si no te vayas bien and la prueba, voy a darte un castigo" he whispered back against your lips and slapped your ass hard, making you whimper and feel your cheek burn, as you definitely knew what kind of punishment he'd give you.

______

A/N: this is my first one shot after years of not writing. I hope it wasn't so bad and there might be a second part to it because I still have many Spanish tasks to carry out which means there might be more ideas, hopefully a little bit more smut this time. Also I posted it through the app and it somehow got worse when it comes to editing posts 🤌

Anyway, feedback = life

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal works #actor #hot actors #male actors #pedro pascal headcanons

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ros3ybabe · 6 days

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Where Have I Been?

hello lovelies. so, I started the challenege, did one day, and all of a sudden I feel off the face of the earth. I fell into a bit of a depression, and while I've managed to pull myself out, life has been busy busy busy! This is probably the 2nd busiest week of the year (the 1st will be in August, and you'll find out why). Here's an update on life:

I fly to Colorado on the 16th, so....under 5 days now. I haven't packed or anything yet, but I plan on doing that either tomorrow or Thursday. And I have to clean and prepack for when I return because....

I signed a new lease for a new place to live! I'll have roommates who I haven't met yet (I'm taking over someone lease, actually), but my lease starts August 18th. I return from Colorado on the 14th of August, so....I'm going to be very busy once I return.

I decided to call it quits on getting a 2nd job. It's going to mess up the schedule with my first job, and it would only make me 200$ more a month, which I'm not worried about missing our on since I'll still sell stuff on depop once I return from Colorado and I'm going full time at my current job.

I've gone out to lunch with my dad a few times as well, it's been really nice hanging out with him and spending time with my dad. I lucked out in the dad department and spending time with him is one of my favorite things!

I've been debating going to San Fransisco in October for an XG concert, but I don't know if I'll have the money or ability to anymore. (thank you new apartment and all those fees and expenses!)

my anxiety has been terrible. I haven't changed anything about what I do, but I did squish a lot of anxiety inducing things into the span of two weeks, which....my bad on that. Now I know, don't do that to myself.

I bought new makeup! The juvias place bronzer, charlotte tillbury setting spray, nyx eyebrow stuff, and blush, ughhh I love buying new makeup, I just wish it didn't cost money!

I've gotten better at doing my makeup! I've had people not even notice I'm wearing it because it looks natural despite being like, a full face! Thank you perfect color matches on my skin tint, foundation, and concealors!

I went to two movies with a friend. We saw the new Strangers: Chapter One and the Planet of the Apes movie. Both were definitely good, in my opinion.

I now have to plan with my boyfriend for when he needs to come down here and get his stuff and work out changing the utilities to our roommates name since I'm leaving. I don't feel like it should be my job to coordinate that, but oh well. I guess it's too hard for him and his best friend (my roommate) to call each other for once?? Ugh, men get on my nerves sometimes.

I need to ask my dad and a friend to help me move upon my return, which also means I won't be able to work that weekend, which kind of sucks.

I need to declutter my room and start throwing away things I don't want or need anymore this week to make it easier on myself when I return from Colorado but hahaha I procrastinate a lot.

I'm stressed about paying rent. I'll have to pay rent for here and rent/fees for the new place before august and then September's rent for the new place, and my new rent is about double what I pay now. so yayy, adulting and finances. I don't feel qualified to be an adult, but here I am, age 21, an adult.

That's about it for now! Lots of stress, lots of anxiety, lots of stuff happening super close together. But that's life, I guess. Forgive me for my absence from my blogs. I also stopped studying spanish for now, and my routines are non-existent. Colorado will change that, tho, for sure. I do plan on updating a little more frequently once things settle down when I'm in Colorado. but for now, it'll be kinda here and there with my posting.

thank you for all the patience and kindness, lovelies. til next time 🩷

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missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway · 2 months

Text

You'll Find Me Resting Among The Restless... (Sinners Prayer)

Mafia!Stucky x POC Escort!Reader “Sin”

Wordcount: 5325

Summary:

Not all girls are made of sugar spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of art, lust and misplaced trust. The most loving thing you can do for a man, is to teach him to swallow his own poison.

Warnings:

Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Betrayal, Infidelity, Past Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate universe - Mafia, Texting, Punishment, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort Sex, Tease, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Female Character of Color

Notes:

This story just attacked me and would not let up until I got it out of my system. It's angsty but with a happy/hopeful ending because I'm a sucker for a resolution. Italics are thoughts Photos used do not represent any particular reader features, they are used for reference only. Happy Reading!

Banner by @cafekitsune Divider by @firefly-graphics

They messed up badly this time. Not only had they fallen for you. They didn't realize it until you were gone. Throwing every “gift” back in their faces and moving out of the penthouse they liked to keep you in. You also went back to some of your old clients. One of which was a particular couple that they were very close to, in business and personally.

All because Steve let his bitch of an ex Sharon get under his skin and in a lapse of judgement and a whole lot of whiskey he not only fucked her but let you find them together on the couch naked and passed out the morning after. He had the nerve to get pissy with you for just showing up at their place. When he was the one that set up the breakfast date the week prior.

Asshole.

Poor Bucky, he didn't even do anything and yet because he and his boyfriend are a package deal he got left as well.

You told him you’d never get between them. That you wouldn't hurt either of them by picking one over the other. If things came to that, you’d just leave them both. They weren’t the only ones who went and fell in love. With tears filling your eyes, begging to be set free, you turned towards the Steel Gray eyes full anguish beside you.

“I can handle a broken heart Buck. It’s not the first time someone thought that because of my profession and being non monogamous that you can't ACTUALLY cheat on me. I’m going to miss you something fierce though.” You step closer for just a moment and caress his cheek.

“I wish it wasn't this way, but it is what it is. I can forgive a lot of things. Even this if done properly, but for now I just need to not be here anymore. Please know that I don't blame you for any of this. You're just as much a victim of his choices as I am.” You kiss his cheek.

“I love you. Please don't hurt him too much and take care of yourself okay. If you need me you know where I’ll be.” You pivot on your heels and head out the door, gently closing it behind you. You make it all the way to the penthouse they provided you before you break down in tears as you pack up all of your belongings. You’ve just gotta get out here.

That’s how you ended up here, attending a party hosted by Pepper and Tony Stark, as their plus one. In all honesty you knew Tony only threw this event because he wanted to cheer you up and this is the only way he knew how outside of the bedroom. That was his first approach, which was shutdown quickly by Pepper the moment she saw you on their doorstep, clearly heartbroken.

You weren't here only in a work capacity, although they were paying for your time, they just wanted to protect you and let you heal without the added pressure to ‘perform’. So once again, on paper and according to your bank account at least, you were their Sugar Baby.

You did terminate the contract with Steve and Bucky the same day the incident occurred, so it was good to know you wouldn't have to dip into your savings just yet. Thank goodness Pepper still kept your old apartment in Stark Tower ready for you just in case.

The relationship you shared with them was not at all conventional, with or without a contract. Frankly they were the only people you knew who you could always count on and that meant the world to you. You truly did love the Starks. Before Steve and Bucky came along they were your favorite clients. They were the ones to introduce you to the powerful couple, at a party just like this one actually. So technically they were to blame for your current heartbreak.

I wonder if they’ll both show their faces here and if Sharon will be on Steve’s arm? I wonder how Bucky is holding up, if the nightmares have come back? Fuck. I told myself I wasn't going to think about them tonight and here I am almost in tears at the thought of Bucky in pain. I need a drink or five.

It isn’t until you're nursing your third cocktail at the bar, catching up with Wanda that you spot them, the usual entourage of Nat and Sam at their sides, Clint taking up the rear. Ever the intimidating image as always. Other than Tony, who runs Manhattan, they’re the biggest bosses in the room, controlling Brooklyn. Thankfully they brokered a truce years ago and everyone works together peacefully.

Before you have a chance to escape to a far corner where you can hide away, you make the mistake of glancing over your shoulder and catch the intense blues of Bucky staring straight into your soul. Even tired he looks like a damn Greek god. Tragedy included.

He breaks the stare off, leaning over to Nat and whispering something in her ear. You watch as she skillfully distracts Steve and moves him towards the center or the party where the Starks are currently holding court. Lost in watching Nat do what she does best, you don't realize Bucky has made his way over to you until it’s too late and you feel the ghost of fingertips trace down your exposed spine in your backless black dress.

He leans over your shoulder. That sweet baritone you love whispering into your ear. “You look magnificent tonight, Doll. Would you grant a poor mortal the chance to remain in your presence with a dance?”

You lift your glass to your lips, keeping your eyes straight ahead, finishing the remnants of alcohol while you ponder your response. With a steadying breath you respond. “One dance couldn't hurt. But it can't be here, among such prying eyes. I’d rather remain in the shadows tonight.”

“As you wish.” He proceeds to rest his hand on the small of your back and guide you toward a darkened sitting room off the main hall. You could faintly hear the music over the murmur of voices wafting into the space.

He pulls you close, wrapping his large arms around your waist as you rest yours around his thick neck. Being in his arms again, after weeks of loneliness, feels like coming home. You place your forehead against the space between his collarbone when he begins to sway to the dull beat.

“How have you been, Doll? Truthfully. Don’t try to sugarcoat it for my feelings.”

Keeping your face right where it is, to shield you from those steel grays you love so much, you give him your truth. “Surviving. That’s the best way I can describe it. I’ve been licking my wounds and trying to mend this hole I feel in my heart. I keep thinking, I just have to get to tomorrow and the pain will lessen even more. And one day it won’t hurt anymore when I think of them.”

You lift your head to run your eyes over his handsome face. “How about you? How have the Kings of Brooklyn been holding up in their Ivory Tower?”

Looking off into the darkened space, his eyes latching on to a sliver of moonlight coming in through a crack in the curtains. You feel his chest vibrate as he scoffs. “We’re not even sleeping in the same bed right now. I was so upset with him that day that I couldn’t even be bothered to help him with his hangover. Funny enough, Sharon was kicked out immediately by Steve as soon as you left. Like legit woke her up, threw her clothes at her and screamed at her to get the fuck out. She didn’t leave without spewing a few truths first.”

He just shakes his head, rambling out his thoughts as they come into his mind. “Apparently it was her plan all along to get him drunk and earn her spot back by his side. She’d been talking shit about the both of us and just wanted Steve to herself. She knew just how to get into Steve’s head due to his loyalty to her family. Thought that you’d just latch on to me and I would let him go to keep you. She had no idea that you would drop us both because you couldn't handle breaking us apart.”

You stare at him slack jawed, as he turns to look down at your moonlit face.

“Not gonna lie. I’m drowning without you, Doll. I can’t even look at him after what he did. It was reckless, regardless of his inebriated state. He knows how I feel about her and the things she’s done to him and me in the past.” He shakes his head in disbelief.

“The fucking Golden idiot, due to his loyalty to her Aunt and Uncle, and what he feels he owes them, just keeps letting her back in. I’m done with it. What about the respect I deserve as his partner in business and life? Fuck that, what about the respect and loyalty YOU deserve.” He’s staring straight into your soul again.

“Your loyalty. Your love. It saved me babygirl. Your light always cuts through the darkness for me. You were the piece we were fucking missing and I cant believe he would even risk that. I’ve tried to let you go. I understand your reasons for leaving us. But I just can't do it. Even seeing the pain he’s trying to hide away, the tough front he’s putting on, isn’t enough to keep me around right now. I miss you baby. I’d give it all up to have you back in my arms for good. All this lavish bullshit isn't worth anything to me without you by my side. I hate that I’m being punished for his fuck up. Again I'm not blaming you for your decision baby. It just hurts and I miss you so fucking much. I can't even sleep at night anymore.”

You can’t resist running your fingers through the hairs on the nape of his neck. “Bucky. I miss you too. So much. I wish it wasn't like this. I never wanted to leave you. You’re right. You never did do anything wrong. You were more than loyal to me. I hate thinking I’m causing you pain because of a stupid decision he made.” Tears begin to well in your eyes.

He gives your waist a squeeze. “Don’t cry baby. We can figure this out. Where are you staying? I know Tony and Pep took over your contract.”

You sniffle a bit. “They did. But it’s not what you think. Sex is not on the table. Though Tony fought me and Pep on that. He thinks a good dicking is all I need. They just want me to heal in peace. I’m staying here at the Tower in my old apartment.”

He nods his head. “Good. Makes me feel better knowing you're safe.” He grabs your cheeks tenderly. “I wish I could kiss you right now. It’s all I’ve wanted to do these last couple weeks. Just having you in my arms again isn’t enough.”

“Please.” You whisper out.

“Do you mean it, Doll? You're not just telling me what you think I want because you feel guilty for your decision to leave?” He implores.

“I don't regret my decision to leave, Bucky. But I do hate that I had to leave you behind. Like I said that morning. I could forgive almost anything. There’s just not anything you need to apologize for. So why did I let my emotions drag you in with my need for him to be punished? It was stupid of me. If you can forgive me for how I left, I would like to keep you in my life. In whatever way you see fit for that.” You confess.

“Really?” He furrows his brows. Not wanting to get his hopes up.

“Yes. I’ve been miserable without you too.” You smile up at him.

“You good to get out here or do the Starks still need you tonight? Cus there is nothing I want more than to get you out of this dress and underneath me so I can show just how much I truly missed you.” That devilish smile of his, that means nothing but the good kind of trouble adorns his face as he awaits your answer.

“I’m not needed here. This whole party was just to get me out of my apartment anyway and for Tony to be Tony and throw his money around. Plus seeing him walk in like nothing happened, act or not, yeah that shit hit deep.” You shrug your shoulders.

“Then let’s head up to your place and make the most of the rest of our night. I’ve got some time to make up for, and I’m all of a sudden ravenous.” The feral look in his eyes has you clenching your thighs together.

Not to be intimidated, you run a hand down his neck until it rests along the waistband of his dress slacks. “Yes, Sir.”

He lets out a deep growl, pulls you close by the back of your neck and lays the most devastating, soul consuming kiss on your lips. Pouring every emotion into. Conveying without words just how much you mean to him.

How could I have ever left this man behind?

You’ve barely made it through your apartment door before Bucky has you pinned against it.

“I don’t know wether to rip this dress off you and fuck you right here against this door or take my time sweet time and worship every inch of your skin like you deserve.”

“Who says you have to only pick one option? We have the whole night ahead of us, don't we Sir?”

“Fucking minx.” He steals another heated kiss and pulls away from your chasing lips, panting. “Where’s your room babygirl. I’ve decided taking you apart piece by piece on your bed is the best place to start.”

You close your eyes for a moment and suppress a moan. “Promises. Promises. Sir.”

Throwing him a wink, you lick your lips before turning and heading off down the hall. Sashaying your hips and divesting yourself of your dress right outside your bedroom door.

Now completely nude, you climb onto your bed. Just as you lie back, resting on your elbows with your knees bent and legs spread wide, drooling pussy on full display, Bucky’s large figure graces your doorway. Shirtless, he stalks over to the bed, unbuckling his pants and losing them along with his boxer briefs along the way.

He reaches the end of your bed. Eyes zeroed in on your glistening little slit. A feral grin slowly spreads across his face and he pounces. Before you know it your back hits the mattress of your king sized bed and Bucky is pushing your legs apart, resting your knees on his broad shoulders and laying kisses on your thighs.

“This is the only place I wanted to be for weeks. Couldn't stop thinking about all the little noises you make for me when I feast upon this sweet cunt. How you squirm when I hit the right spot with my tongue. Fuck . Just look at you babygirl, so wet for me you're dripping onto the sheets already.” He swipes his tongue up along your folds from entrance to clit, eliciting a moan from you. You’ve always been sensitive but you haven't even touched yourself in the weeks since you left. Too overcome in your grief. So just that little movement is almost too much already.

Clearly a man on a mission, he begins to devour you, wasting no time thrusting his tongue inside as deep as he can. The thick muscle massaging your silken walls, giving them something to clamp on to. “ Fuck, Bucky. That feels so good.”

Your hands are anchored in his hair, pulling on his silken strands, just enjoying the ride on his tongue he is giving you. When he swirls his tongue, pulls it out and then moves it to lightly draw infinity symbols on your clit you lose it.

A kaleidoscope of stars detonates behind your eyes as the orgasm slams into you. Gripping onto his locks tighter as you writhe beneath him, back arching off the mattress before you go boneless.

Coming back to your senses, you blink open your eyes and peer down at Bucky. His chin is glistening wet. A proud smile gracing his handsome face. Adoration shining in his icy blues. “There she is.” He laughs. “Had me worried for a minute there babygirl. Thought I might have made ya pass out. Looks like it was just one hell of an orgasm.”

A sweet smile adorns your blissed out face as you caress his damp cheeks. “One hell of an orgasm indeed.”

He begins to crawl up the bed towards you, leaving a path of kisses in his wake. His massive thighs push your legs further apart as he gives his turgid length a couple of slow strokes. He teases the thick head of his member along your folds, coating himself in your essence.

You lock eyes with him as you whimper. “Please.”

He leans forward, interlocking his hands in yours, placing a toe curling kiss to your lips as he enters the warmth of your cunt. Splitting you open on his generous girth. Pulling his hips back and leaving you no time to adjust as he begins to grind his hips down on yours with every thrust.

Foreheads pressed together, completely lost in this carnal dance of love and devotion. The room fills with the sounds of your passion. A symphony of moans and groans, accompanied with the sound of slick flesh meeting slick flesh.

“Nothing has ever felt as good as your pussy squeezing me so tightly when you lose yourself to your pleasure. I need you to come for me baby. Come around my cock. I’m not going to last much longer and I need to feel you let go for me.” He groans out between brutal thrusts.

It’s like his words have a direct link to your clit and with another well placed swivel of his hips you feel yourself lose control as your orgasm takes over. A rainbow of colors flash behind your eyes and the world sounds as if you're underwater.

Everything comes back into focus just as Bucky is reaching his own climax. Burying himself deep inside you as he bites down on your shoulder and paints your womb white with rope after rope of his seed. Panting, he leaves a gentle kiss on the mark his teeth left behind. You run your fingers through his dark tresses and kiss his nose.

“Fuck I missed that.” He blurts out as he comes down from his own high.

“Agreed. Although, I must admit. It’s never felt quite as intense before. Feral yes. But that was something else altogether. I want more.” The confession slips from your lips.

“I’d give you the world babygirl. All you have to do is ask.” He places a soft kiss on your lips. “Let’s make some good use of that large walk in shower I can see from here and get dirty while we get clean. A round two is much needed. I haven't had my fill of you yet tonight.”

You giggle as he rolls over, slides off the bed and proceeds to scoop you up in his arms and into the ensuite. “You weren’t kidding about making up for lost time.”

“Darlin’, I’ll never get enough of you.”

You awaken slowly, sunlight slipping in through the blinds and a sweet soreness throughout your body. You open your eyes to the beautiful sight of a sleeping Adonis laid beside you, as peaceful as you’ve ever seen him. You take a moment to just watch his chest rise and fall with each breath until a vibration against the nightstand to his right catches your attention.

You reach across Bucky’s prone frame to grab his phone. It seems that Steve has been sending texts and leaving messages for Bucky throughout the night. Having felt you move, he rouses from his slumber and nuzzles into your neck. “Not that I’m complaining about having you draped over me like a blanket, but what has you moving around so much already? I thought I wore you out last night.”

Turning the device in your hand towards his slowly waking eyes you respond. “Your phone. Apparently Steve needs your attention.”

He takes his phone from your hand and goes through all the texts and two voicemails left for him. He responds with a picture of the two of you together in bed.

I'm right where I'm supposed to be Pal. Don’t know when or if I’ll be home though.

This is how you spend the next week. Lazy days full of fucking, comfort food, dancing, smoking and watching movies. Just enjoying your time together in a little bubble. Bucky taunting Steve with pictures and videos of how you're spending days together. At one point even you get in on the torment, texting him back pics of Bucky cooking shirtless, in the shower, having a smoke or cuddled up on your lap.

Looks like breakfast is served.

Cleanse the skin of its many sins.

He just can’t seem to quit

He won’t let me move

Bucky is much more of an ass about it though. Sending provocative pics of you and rubbing in how badly he fucked up.

I’ll never get enough of kissing the breath out of her

Best morning view

Gonna have to thank Tony for this secret little room in her apartment.

Having enough of his moping and random fits of anger targeted at whoever was closest, Natasha decides it’s time to take things into her own hands. With some help from her friends of course. Wanting to help move things along, the Starks call a meeting with Steve to be held at the tower in their personal conference room located in their penthouse. They need to figure out if it's even worth letting you back into his life.

Surprisingly Tony is more than okay with Bucky cohabitating in sin with you here in the tower. The smile is back on your face and your laughter is filling the halls once more. But Steve has a bigger battle to fight, having betrayed your trust and he wants to make sure that he understands that.

The man of the hour walks in with a calm step and an air of malice in his cerulean eyes. The bags beneath them tell the story of a man suffering for his choices. Tony has been there before. That time when Pepper came to her senses and left him high and dry when he refused to commit to her, unwilling to give up his playboy ways. That’s when he first used your services. He needed someone on his arm for events and he just couldn’t handle bringing a new person each time. It would only aid in making what Pepper said about him true.

It was you who listened to him make drunken confessions of his true feelings for his former lover. That he did want to commit but he was afraid that he wasn't cut out for monogamy. That’s when you told him all about your non monogamous status. “Monogamy is great for those who chose to live that way. But for me, I’m just not content with only one lover in my life. I am polyamorous as well though. But don’t be confused. Not every non-mono person is that way. Some only want to play with others and keep emotions out of it and that’s ok. I for one am happy with multiple play partners as well as multiple full fledged relationships. To each their own ya know.” You gave a little shrug.

“It seems to me that the only amorous relationship you want is with her. You just want the option to play when an opportunity presents itself. And I’m willing to bet that you want her included in those sessions as well.” You can’t help wiggling your brows.

“That’s the dream isn’t it. Ya know, I think you two would like each other. Too bad I chased her away. The trouble we could all get in together. Mmmm.” He bites his lip and continues drinking his whiskey.

“Who says you can't win her back? Give me your phone.” He hands it over, unaware that you were going to change his life for the better.

Snapping out of his memories and giving attention back to the room full of his friends and fellow gangsters, he locks eyes with Steve. “Hello Steven.” He smirks. “You’re looking well.”

“Cut the crap Tony. What did you drag me here for?” He bites out.

“Whoa. Whoa. Whoa Cap. I brought you here for the benefit of your relationships but now I’m thinking I should have left it alone.” He runs his fingers over his goatee.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about that icy little boyfriend of yours and everyone's favorite escort. I’m sure you're more than aware of the love den they have been spending their time in. Licking their wounds and mending their heartbreak together.”

He quirks a brow. “Tony I don't have time for your bullshit. If you didn't bring me here for business then I’m gonna head out that door. I have better things that I could be doing with my time.”

“Like what? Taking out your anger at your colossal fuck up on your subordinates? Spending some more time between that Carter’s legs?” He declares with disdain.

With the quickness of a man half his size, Steve’s hand is wrapped around Tony’s throat. “You need to learn not to speak of things that don’t concern you.”

Pepper and Natasha rush forward. One afraid for her husband's safety, the other worried about the truce being broken due to her boss's emotional outburst. Men.

“Alright boys. Enough is enough. Steven, please let go of my husband. We really did bring you here to help you out. He’s just a little overprotective of her. We all are.” Pepper implores in her softest tone.

With Natasha’s help and a nudge from Sam he finally gives in and lets Tony’s neck go. “Thank you.”

He slumps back in his chair and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I know I fucked up. I let my allegiance to the Carter family blind me and allow my toxic ass ex to manipulate her way back into my life. In the process, regardless of my overly intoxicated state, I betrayed the love of my life, my best friend. As well as the only women who has ever truly understood our dynamic and accepted and loved us unconditionally. And I'm the idiot you didn't realize how madly in love with her I was until I watched her leave us that morning. Us. Not me, who deserved her wrath, but us. She couldn't bring herself to choose between us, even in her pain. I don’t fault Buck for leaving me to my misery to go after her.”

He scoffs. “They’ve been torturing me daily with pictures of their time spent together. I want that. I want back in their good graces but I have no idea how to fix what I broke or even if I can.”

Pepper places her hand on his shoulder. “Of course you can. I can’t speak for James, but I’ve never known her to not at least have an honest conversation. Start there, she’ll appreciate your honesty. Don’t complicate things. Lay all your cards on the table and let them lay down theirs. It’s that simple.”

“I’m willing to go that route. If I even knew where they were.” He sighs.

“Well, lucky for you Cap that Pep here never got rid of the little vixens apartment. And I have it on good authority that they ordered take out that will need to go through security before making it’s way up to them.” Rubbing his neck Tony says with a smirk.

“I’m gonna need you to intercept that order for me.”

You're cuddled up all cozy in Bucky’s lap, watching Bride Of Chucky, when the doorbell goes off.

“Must be the food. I’ll grab it, no need to pause. You know I have this memorized.” You lay a quick kiss on his cheek and make your way to the door.

Grabbing your wallet from the hall table you open the door and let out a gasp. Standing there with your take out in his hand and puppy dog eyes is none other than Steven Grant Rogers.

You have no idea how long you stand there, just staring at him.

“Hey babe, what’s taking so long? Can’t find your wallet again?” Bucky comes up behind and stops in his tracks when his eyes land on Steve. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Bucky.” You admonish.

“No, no, it’s okay. I get it.” He lets out a deep sigh. “I just wanted to talk to both of you. Tony and Pep helped me get up here. Please. I just want to talk. If you don't like what I have to say you can kick me out and I’ll never bother you again. That goes for you too Buck.”

You and Bucky share a look, before you open the door further and step aside. “Come on in, Steve.”

You head back to the living room, and have Steve place the food on the coffee table as you pause the movie and take a seat on the sofa next to Bucky.

Instead of sitting on the loveseat to the left of you, Steve lowers himself to his knees before you. “First and foremost, I’m sorry. I’m not even going to try and make excuses for it. Drunk or not, it shouldn't have happened. And I definitely shouldn’t have yelled at you when I was only angry at myself.”

He reaches for your hands, which you let him take. “You had every right to leave me. I’m an idiot. I love you and I let you slip away.” He turns to Bucky. “I’m sorry I even entertained her baby. I know how she makes you feel. Again, I’m an idiot.”

“Not gonna argue with you on that one.” Bucky says as he leans back against the couch.

“I can’t promise that I won’t fuck up again in some way. I am stubborn after all. But what I can promise is that I’ll try. I’ll give you both my all and do what is necessary to win your trust back. Just give me a chance. That’s all I’m asking.”

You look at Bucky. “Do you believe him? Do you believe he’s remorseful and truly ready to make amends?”

“Seeing as how I’ve only ever seen him on his knees when he’s servicing me and I placed him there. I’m gonna have to go with yes I think he means it. The decision is up to you though, Doll. From here on out. I go where you go.” He places a kiss on your cheek.

“Thank you for laying this all on my shoulders Buck.” You turn back to Steve and place a hand upon his face. He nuzzles into it. “I’m willing to give you a chance. But just the one. You’re going to have to really work to earn our trust back and we won't take it easy on you. You’re going to need to woo us all over again.”

“Challenge accepted.” He quickly agrees.

“How about a kiss to seal the deal?” You suggest.

He leans in. “With pleasure, Doll.” He wraps his hand in your hair and proceeds to get you drunk off his love.

#poc reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers smut #mafia au #avengers au #stucky x reader #stucky smut

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i-need-a-slurpee · 1 month

Text

Fellas I've been working tirelessly in my lab to bring you guys a new crackship

Tell me what you think of Yusuke and the green pencil case kid that sits behind akira.

NOW HEAR ME OUT

It makes no sense and honestly this is all one big bit I have going on but listen here's the set up.

For those of you who don't know this is green pencil case kid

He doesn't have a name but he does have a green pencil case (not seen in this image) he's seen practically everything Akira has done on his desk. He can see Akira making his infiltration tools, texting in class and he can definitely see Mona just sitting in his desk. He knows Akira's weird but he doesn't say anything, he minds his own business and doesn't snitch which is why we like him.

Now with this information in mind let me set the scene!

Green pencil case kid is walking out of Shujin ready to head home for the day when he sees that weird kid with the desk cat meeting up with a very handsome blue haired stranger outside of the school. Bro is instantly captivated by resident pretty boy Yusuke and realizes he has to get this guy's number. How's he gonna do it?

He asks Akira, plain and simple. Now Akira is extremely skeptical of green pencil case guy because he's never so much as talked to him and yet here he is asking for one of his best friends' numbers. Akira is very protective of his friends so he wouldn't just go around giving out their numbers to anyone who asked. He realizes though that his classroom shenanigans have probably given his table neighbor multiple headaches so he compromises. He's gonna get to know green pencil case guy for the rest of the week to determine whether or not he's trustworthy enough to have Yusuke's number.

The week is hell for poor green pencil case boy as Akira drags him to weirdest places he's ever been. A hole in the wall cafe, a weapons shop, a sketchy clinic, and jazz club with some strange detective that has some weird tension going on with Akira. He realizes he might've been third wheeling their date but he doesn't want to dwell on that actually. Either way he ends up joining in on all of Akira's shenanigans throughout the week. By the end he's exhausted but content because Akira actually gave him Yusuke's number!

He learns a lot about this handsome blue haired stranger mostly that he's just as weird as Akira but it doesn't bother him at all, he's used to weird people at this point. He's a lot less intense in his hobbies though, rather than having to run around for different part time jobs or having homoerotic jazz nights Yusuke paints! He attends Kosei high and is an excellent artist.

Their first date is to an art exhibit where green pencil case kid reveals he's an amateur artist himself, all he does is doodle in class when he has the time. They're simple but they give him something to do when he gets bored and Yusuke, ever the art enthusiast, absolutely loves them. Yusuke thinks he doodles capture his artistic vision wonderfully, they're fairly simple but it's fitting for green pencil case guy. Speaking of the pencil case, Yusuke loves the color and how it stands out from the rest of green pencil case guy's supplies. He says it's a good reflection of the artistic side green pencil case kid hides from the world, his life is simple and mundane but there's that color that he has added to his own life. Something that is entirely his and proof that he exists outside of what might seem like a greater narrative.

Green pencil case guy appreciates Yusuke's words more than he thought he would. He's always felt very insignificant around his peers, like he didn't have a purpose like they did. He realizes just how perceptive Yusuke is, which is another thing he likes about him.

Needless to say they go on more art dates.

Listen I know it's really stupid but they're important to me okay. I'm gonna give them the love story of the summer. Yusuke and green pencil case kid for the win 💪

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #kitagawa yusuke #headcanon #yusuke kitawaga #yusuke p5 #Green pencil case guy #crackship #persona 5 joker #p5 joker #akira kurusu #akeshu #briefly mentioned #i'm insane #who let me cook

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adoriels-tears-if · 1 month

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Arielle!!!

I read the update! (I'm late to the party...)

This was actually the first time I played the itchio version and I love what you did there! The colors and transitions and stuff! (I'm bad with words...)

Now to the game: I remember I did the mean route once a long time ago and my heart shattered when I did the "push Arthur down the well" and I will never do that one again (Arthur is a precious baby I'm sorry my MC did this to you...) and on the update I tried first being mean again (because I love angst as much as the next guy, you know), but when my MC made Arthur cry in the barn, I felt so bad😭

I don't think I have the heart to ever try the mean route again, I love Arthur too much for that🥺

I will protect him, no matter the cost🫶🏻

Loved all the little changes that were here and there (as opposed to the version I still remember on dashingdon).

What I did not love was that cruel cliffhanger 😭

But it was great and I can't wait for it to continue. Ah, but please, no rush. Take care of yourself and rest well. Also, it's getting warmer. Since we're country neighbors, I assume it's similar for you. So don't forget to hydrate!!

I wish you a wonderful Sunday, and in case you read this tomorrow, a wonderful start of the week!!

Hi dear!

I'm always so happy to see you in my ask box!

I'm not going to lie, the mean path is hard to write sometimes! I have too much love for Arthur too! I didn't know you hadn't read the new version, I'm glad you have now and I'm sorry again for the cliffhanger ending. But it was such a good time to do it!

It's getting hotter indeed. Almost 30 degrees yesterday. I spent the afternoon writing in my garden and ended up scarlet with a whole bunch of mosquito bites. Now, it's stormy, rainy and windy here. I love it!

I've been trying to write as much as possible over the last few days, as I won't be able to next Saturday and Sunday, not to mention the fact that I've got a busy week ahead of me. But I'm staying hydrated, thank you very much!

#Adoriel's Tears #Arielle live #author rambles #The May 24 Update

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emillyverse · 3 months

Text

This is not an update to the Comic, but it still has something to do with it !!!

(call it a little gift for the Wish Rewrite and KoW fandom)

Hello my little stars! How are you?

I mentioned in the last post in the series that I would be traveling for a week or two and that's why I wouldn't be working. Well I'm still traveling Lmao.

It's been a lot of fun, I'm visiting my Prince Charming and family, both of whom I haven't been to in a long time. Still, I couldn't stop thinking about KoW and Wish's Concept Arts. Disney sealed the fate of its fan artists by discarding so much good material, now they are embedded in our minds and we will not be able to rest until we see them realized. This is crazy but it's beautiful to see how much these discarded concepts generated creative potential in the fandom.

Because of all this I couldn't help but make some small sketches! And well, I came to show them here. They are not sketches of Comic panels, but they have something to do with it and I will show the photos and explain how.

This first one, very faded, are Magnificent and Amable's clothes (designed by @uva124, for the characters in @annymation's rewrite of Wish "The Kingdom of Wishes"). The drawings that Aled did are very complex, I don't judge her for that, in fact I thank her, she gave beautiful clothes to the centuries-old Disney villains and they are perfect. I really wish I could draw them with all the details, but I will do everything by hand, alone and seeking a minimally professional quality (I want to be a comic artist/book illustrator one day. This comic is my first step Lmao, and I want to do something that conveys the best I can give at the moment), so I need to make some things easier for myself. The costumes are one of those things.

" Better something simple and well done than complex and poorly done." — This is my motto for this Comic and for my life.

The next sketches are related to aesthetics. I've been watching a lot of "Analyzing the Art" videos of some Disney films and I was inspired to adopt some "Disney Style" features in my arts for this comic (not everything obviously, because I don't want to be sued by Disney lmao).

What you'll see next is me trying to mix this influence with my own style in some KoW character sketches.

(this last art specifically references a meme in which @rascalentertainments tagged me, Thanks for that, by the way! <3 )

(credits to the artist, I don't know who it is because I was just tagged in this meme and I was busy So I didn't look for more information, but I'll leave the post link and you can check the official credits)

Speaking of aesthetics. Anny received Chiara's aesthetic from someone — the north star, "daughter of Aster", created by his magic at the very end of Anny's fanfic. This Aesthetic inspired me to create an aesthetic for Asha and Aster too and these were the results:

What's your favorite?

Lmao, It took a lot of work to make Aster's. There are almost no things for "starboys" on Pinterest.

I'm leaving this up to you to share as you wish, consider it a gift to the fandom!

Lastly, I want to say that the artistic analysis videos They also inspired me to put together a moodboard for KoW and I'll be leaving it here. Not even Anny and Aled know about this and I can't wait to see their reactions! I wish I could print this painting and leave it on the wall, but unfortunately I don't have a printer T-T.

This moodboard is helping me with the artistic direction of colors, style and is a visual motivation to stay active at work.

I hope you like it too!

That's it for today, it's already midnight in Brazil and I should be sleeping instead of posting crazy things on the internet. I'm going to tag my friends and go to sleep, Lmao.

Kisses full of light and stars!

~ Emy

@wings-of-sapphire @flicklikesstuff @frogcoven88 @chillwildwave @gracebethartacc @gracebethartacc @kstarsarts @oh-shtars Come and get your therapies after the anguish caused by certain publications by Anny!

#kingdom of wishes #wish reimagined #wish rewrite #wish 2023 #disney wish #artists on tumblr #asha wish #starboy #starsha #the kingdom of wishes desings #the kingdom of wishes au comic #the kingdom of wishes au #behind the papers?#behind the scenes #aesthetic #scketchbook #scketchs #please write tags for me when reblogging #I am feeling lazy

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vintagevict0ria · 3 months

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could you do an adam driverxreader where but they’re in high school; reader would be soft spoken girl who is just trying to make it through high school — adam is an outspoken theatre kid? Thanksss<333

'You don't have to be shy'

a/n: HI ANON!! Thank you so much for this! I hope what I wrote exceeded your expectations!! This was fun to write as it kept me on my toes! I love this so much and please don't be shy to let me know if you want a part two(bc i would LOVE to continue this!!!) Again, thank you for your request!! pairing: HighschoolAU Adam driver x f!reader warnings: fluff, reader wears glasses, no proof read >.<

xoxo :3

"Okay you are dismissed! Also do not forget about the theater production tomo-"

Before the teacher could finish, you were out the door. High school was hard and you were just trying to get through these last few years. As you passed through the hallway, all of the beautiful girls who had boyfriends and huge groups of friends made your heart ache. You had to admit that you were jelous of them. You didn't have very many friends- or any at all. Being shy and soft spoken made it hard to talk to people- or just talking in general was difficult.

You had a free period after your last class. Your favorite spot was outside the theater. You loved hearing the faint noises of the kids inside talking, laughing, or singing. You admired their talent and their confidence. One performer in particular- Adam - was the star in every show. His black hair and brown eyes had every girl staring at him, practically on their knees. It surprised you how he didnt have a girlfriend or atleast not that you knew of. The sudden singing caught you off guard from inside the theater. Was it Adam? The first production of the year was tonight so they had been practicing a LOT. The posters promoting the production were everywhere- literally everywhere. It was all people were talking about. So, you got tickets to opening night.

Taking your seat that night, all you could do was try to relax and not crush the stems of the flower bouquet that you were holding- that was for Adam. The girl next to you turned to face you “Are those flowers for one of the girls in the show?” You couldn't reply with ‘no it's for Adam!’ so lying was the best choice. “Yes.” The other girl laughed. Cuffing her hand around her mouth, she leaned to your ear; “I got mine for Adam- i'm his secret admirer” You immediately regret your decision of getting flowers for Adam. He would have hundreds by the end of the week and not have a care in the world for who got what. Her bouquet was so extravagant and colorful compared to yours. Your seat was close to the front and when the stage lights were on, the actors on the stage would be able to see your face.The show had started- Adam, the main character was on stage most of the time and when he would have monologes, he would look into the crowd. Specifically, looking at you. Was it on purpose? Surely not.

After the actors took their bows and the show came to an end, the audience exited the theater and congregated outside waiting for the cast to greet them. The crowd had grouped around the side stage door-where the cast and crew would come out from. You had been pushed to the back so you couldn't see what was going on but when you heard loud shouts and screeches, you knew Adam and come out. Faint "you did so good! from the girls and "thank yous" from adam could be heard. You hoped to gift Adam his flowers but there was so many girls, and oh so many flowers, there was no use. As you started to walk towards the door you heard someone call your name.

"Leaving without saying hello? Didn't your parents teach you manners?" Turning around, you saw Adam walking towards you. "Oh im sorry- I thought you were busy and I-" you looked down at your flowers, then at the large handful adam had already collected. "Nevermind, um well-good job i'll see you tomorrow." Adam couldn't get a response out in time because you had already left the building. God you were so embarrassing. You hated high school and wanted to be in college so bad. Having no romantic experience made it even worse. A shy, timid, unromantic, girl...could it get worse?

You had one singular class with Adam the next day. He sat behind you but never realized how weird this would be until the day after you and him had the encounter after the show. After taking your seat- not even a minute later- you felt a tap on your shoulder, turning around you were greeted by Adams glowing brown eyes looking at you. "What are you doing after school tonday? Do you want to go grab some food? I have time before I have to be back for the show." His elbows where on the table and he placed his chin in the palm of his hands, smiling at you. Blushing- you had no choice but to say yes."Perfect, meet at my car and we'll go from there! Oh also here's my number." He slid you a piece of paper with his number on it. You put it in your bag to save for later. You couldn't focus for the rest of the day and the only think(or person) in your mind was Adam.

Finally, the day had come to and end. Once the bell rang you leaped up from your chair and headed towards the parking lot. Adam was leaning up against his black Hyundai Tucson. He was facing away from you and it wasn't until you cleared your throat that he turned around. His black locks wirled as the wind blew. His face immediately lit up as he saw you. "Hey." He shifted against his car so he was still leaning but he was fully facing you. "hi" This was your first date and you weren't really sure how this works. "Hear, let me get the door for you." He walked over to the passenger side door, opening it. You stepped in. Adam took your bag and placed in the back seat. Adam soon followed with getting in and eventually pulled out of the parking lot. "Any place in particular you want to go?" His eyes were on the road. "There's a coffee shop, its really good and has like sandwiches and stuff.." your voice died down as you finished your sentence. "Sounds good!" Adam smiled, glancing over at you for just a second before looking back to the road. His phone was connected to aux and was playing a mix of rock and musical theater music. Just a few minutes later, you reached the coffee shop. Adam wasted no time in exiting the car and going over to open the door for you. The wind continued to blow and adams hair was dancing around and across his face. When entering the cafe, you found a table and your musically talented date pulled your chair out for you. "How was your day, beautiful?" beautiful. His words shot through your core, causing your eyes to widen and for your face to become red. "oh um it was...Good." you stuttered over you words as you delivered your eyes away from his. Of course, Adam and his charm, couldn't help but laugh. "You know, you don't have to be shy."

"Im not!"

"Are too."

'Am not"

"whatever you say." Adam pushed back his hair and as he spoke

After ordering food and drinks and having a short conversation, you both left the cafe. As you walked out, Adam grabbed your hand and you spun around to face him. Lifting an eyebrow at him, "can i help you?" Adam didn't answer. that was with words that is. He pulled you into him and placed a kiss on your red tinted lips. Your face soon turned the same shade as the roses planted outside the cafe. "sorry" he whispered as he slowly pulled away from you. "here, you have some danish crumbs on you" Adam swiped his thumb agaist the corner of you mouth, causing a smile to form across your face. Adam smiled back, guiding you to the passenger door and letting you in.

The gentleman that he was, drove you back to your place and walked you to yout front door. "Will i see you tonight? At the show?" he tilted his head as he spoke. "I don't have a ticket, sorry." Adam suddenly started fiddling with his pockets and pulled out three tickets. One for each of the remaining shows. "I have some extras. You should come. Id love to see you again." you took the tickets from him and pulled them to your chest. "I'll be there., promise" Adam stepped closer to you, one hand on your left cheek, the other on your waist. He kissed you. Again. A euphoric feeling washed over your body. You face wass hot as his thumb brushed your face. He pulled away, smiling ear to hear. He mouthed 'bye' as he walked away to his car. As he pulled off, he yelled something from his car,

"Thou art wise as thou art beautiful!"

You laughed as he drove off. You didn't know what that meant or what that line was from but, deep in your heart, you knew that everything would be just fine....

_________________________

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#plz reblog #fluff #adam driver x reader #adam driver fluff #adam driver #adam driver smut #highschool au #musical theatre #theater #writeblr #writers on tumblr #star wars #kylo ren #x reader #booklr #adam driver angst #smut #angst

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dokidokitsuna · 6 months

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Dream Land's Flying Café

...This is actually a pretty old AU idea...I think I came up with this back in the spring, while I was still animating Magical Friends Ep 1... I just didn't introduce it at the time, since I was...well, embarrassed. ^^; It's kind of a cutesy idea, and that's not really my forte anymore. But suddenly I was inspired to do these designs, and y'know, a little embarrassment every once in a while builds character. So I'll give a brief summary:

The basic premise is that a more villainous version of Meta Knight decides to retire and convert the Halberd into a café. To try doing nice things for the people of Dream Land for a change~. As he and the Meta-Knights travel around with their new business, they gradually grow and recruit more employees...including some old villain allies from past adventures. The idea was inspired by the vibe of visual novels/gacha games, so naturally it would require a lot of very pretty very labor-intensive art to pull off (each of these headshots took 30 minutes to color...) and I guess, back when I was in animators' hell, I figured I wouldn't have the time anyway, so why bother. ^^; But now that I'm in WIP hell (it's different) I do have time...sort of. I could at least chip away at a pretty drawing or two throughout each week. And I'm gonna consider it, because these designs have been fascinating so far. Magolor hit another grand slam home run, as usual, and I really had fun drawing Claycia for the first time in...ever, almost. ^^ Her hair looks delicious...

The only thing that makes me skeptical is...well, this may be the first AU I came up with where nothing awful happens. XD It's just a cute comedic slice of life where things get better for everyone. Which is nice, for a change, but I always run the risk of boring myself when I don't get to torture any characters. :T We'll see what happens~

#kirby #gijinka #au #meta knight #magolor #daroach #claycia

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genopaint · 3 months

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The long awaited Week 10 of Daily Dragons! Like the last post, I just didn't really get the chance to post these cause my laptop was packed up and what not. But it's finally here for your viewing pleasure :)

As always you can follow me on twitter where they’re posted daily

And read more info on each of them below the cut

Daily Dragon #63 - Seal Dragon

These large, semi aquatic dragons are often seen basking on rocky shores. When hungry, the largest in a pack will swim into the ocean, hunt large animals like whales, and bring them back to shore for the whole pack to eat

I had a concept for a walrus like dragon but ultimately this isn't exactly what I had in mind. However, I do kinda like it! So you can expect to see at least one more seal-esc dragon in the future i guess lol

Daily Dragon #64 - Flying Dragon

As the name suggests, these dragons are ALWAYS in flight! They only land when they need to sleep, but are actually able to go surprisingly long times without needing any rest at all. Sometimes even multiple days!

Up and early with dragons these last few days aha Another redraw! I keep seeing it while looking at the other dragons for a hot minute so I wanted to tackle it too! I think it's actually from 2011-2012 like the Ghouldrogon because... Well they were on the same sheet of paper!

Daily Dragon #65 - Magon

The first Wario dragon! There's actually quite a few in his series. Lately I've been thinking about Wario Land/World/MoD for a while now. They're some of my favorite games and it might honestly be time for me to replay them

I played all the Wario games back in highschool so it's been a hot hot minute. But I really do like them all. They're all good as hell even (especially) Master of Disguise which is so underappreciated

Daily Dragon #66 - Snoozozaur

This dragon lives and breathes for one thing and one this only: sleeping! Rarely ever waking up, only for occasional food and water, they can actually sleep walk and sleep fight using what scientists believe to be some type of psychic ability. Additionally, they can levitate! Meaning they can comfortably sleep ANYWHERE!

Daily Dragon #67 - Shrine Dragon

This dragon is frequently seen guiding heroes of all kinds to temples and shrines important to their quests. If you're looking for a secret dungeon in a large area and spot one flying in the sky, it's in your best interest to follow it!

Daily Dragon #68 - Green Dragon

Thank you for all your amazing monsters and characters over the years, Mr. Toriyama!!

The more I keep thinking about it the more it's making me sad. Chrono Trigger's character designs were SO influential on me growing up. And the design for Arasu is SO important to RPG protagonists that I had OCs inspired by him before I even saw the character. And yeah, of course, Blue Dragon has always been a very important game to me even when I was a tiny child who couldn't afford an Xbox 360.

Daily Dragon #69 - Cuddlodon

A dragon that just loves being friendly and playful! They have some very basic combat skills like small fire balls and teeth, but why would you ever want to fight one? Come on, don't be mean to them :(

Really really low energy today. I wanted to do a Super Mario RPG celebration dragon, but I have something big in mind for the SMRPG dragon so I want to save it for when I'm less busy. Instead, today I redrew this fella from 2012: The Cuddly Dragon!

And of course, in 2024 (that's 12 years later holy hell!!) they come in multiple colors :)

#dragon #dragons #daily dragon challenge

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anxious-witch · 6 months

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Inertia 7

Summary: Newton's first law expresses the principle of inertia: the natural behavior of a body is to move in a straight line at constant speed. In the absence of outside influences, a body's motion preserves the status quo.

Jan choose a direction of his life the moment he walked out of his parents house and cut all contact with them. He didn't want anything to do with them, or God anymore. Even his soulmark he wished he could leave behind. But when Nace Jordan joins the band, with a mark matching his own, can Jan keep going the same way he did? Or will the force make him change a direction?

Pairings: Jan Peteh/Nace Jordan

Warnings: None, I think? Please do tell me if I'm wrong I'll edit ot immediately

Notes: AO3 link

urprise! Early update of the last chapter. Thank you everyone who made it this far, especially people who consistently commented throughout. I have several things to say before you jump right in.

1) I am aware JO didn't actually preform at the EMA, but since this is already and au and I really liked the concept of the scene, it is here. Just roll with it 2) There will (hopefully) be two fics following this one, one with the focus on Bojan and the other on Kris. I am not sure exactly when I'll be writing and post them though, since December is quite busy, but until then, at least this is finished.

Anyway, this part is pretty much all fluff and very cheesy at the end, but I figured we all deserved it after all the angst

I believe that witness is a magnitude of vulnerability. That when I say love what I mean is not a feeling nor promise of a feeling. I believe in attention. My love for you is a monolith of try.

The woman I love pays an inordinate amount of attention to large and small objects. She is not described by anything. Because I could not mean anything else,

she knows exactly what I mean.

Once upon a time a line saw itself clear to its end. I have seen the shape of happiness. (y=mx+b) I am holding it. It is your hand.

What Space Faith Can Occupy By TC Tolbert

Jan wondered if light green walls of the therapist's office were suppose to somehow elevate the space. Made it seem more colorful.

Personally, it only reminded him more if a hospital.

Still, just as in all previous sessions, he had to remind himself he wasn't there just for himself. Kris had been genuinely worried after his breakdown. Jure and Bojan didn't know about it, but they likely suspected something had transpired.

He would need to tell Bojan about him and Nace eventually. But that, at least, was a problem for future Jan.

There was also Nace to think about. In the past three weeks, there had been slow, almost painful progress made between them. Still, he was trying. That counted for something, right?

He turned his attention back to the matter at hand.

His therapist was a young woman, Jan would guess somewhere in her thirties. She hat jet black hair and looked perfectly put together. She reminded him of Kris in that regard.

Which made sense, considering he only got a spot so quickly due to Kris' connections. Jan really, really didn't want to think about how he managed that.

"So, Jan," Nina said, "do you want us to continue on where we stopped last time, or do you have something from this week you'd like to discuss?"

Her voice was unkind, or even cold, but Jan still had to force himself to talk sometimes. His trust issues weighted heavily on him in moment like these.

"Well, no. Except that Nace and I actually went to play basketball, but I mentioned we will last week anyway."

Nina patiently waited for him to continue. When he didn't, she spoke again.

"How was it?"

Jan sighed. It was awful. Jan felt genuinely bad for even going along with it, considering how much Nace hated any sport that you had to play with the ball. It ended when Nace didn't manage to catch the ball one time Jan threw it. It hit him in the face and made his nose bleed.

Jan supposed there was a metaphor there somewhere.

"It wasn't great. Nace is...really bad at basketball."

She quickly wrote something down and Jan tried his best not to feel judged.

"And how did you feel about it?"

"Shitty, I guess. I didn't make him play, but it kind of felt like I did."

Nina tapped her pen to the notes.

"From what I have here, it seems Nace usually initiates these activities and they seem to be activities you like. Am I correct?"

Jan shrugged.

"Yes."

"And what do you think about that?"

How many times could she ask him that? Wasn't she supposed to tell him what to think about that? Jan felt increasingly annoyed.

"Why do you keep asking that? If you want to say something, then say it."

She pursed her lips.

"I am not here to tell you how to feel, Jan. I am here to help you verbalize it."

That was the dumbest fucking answer he ever heard.

"I already said I feel bad about it. What more do you want me to say?"

"Have you thought about doing the same for him?"

Jan paused. He haven't. Or well-he had, but he wasn't really sure there was an activity Nace liked that they could do together.

"I don't know if we have anything in common. Other than music, I mean. I know he is trying, but maybe this wasn't a good idea, after all."

Nina nodded, his face neutral. Always so goddamn neutral.

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"What, and break his heart? He'd just try even harder. I don't-"

I don't know what to say to make him give up on me. Jan clenched his teeth.

"I think you should consider trying one of his activity. Surely, there is something he likes that you don't hate."

Jan took in a deep breath. He was fighting the urge to mess up his nails even more, but if he started bleeding during practice again, even Bojan will notice.

"I guess. But that doesn't solve the main issue, does it?"

Nina sighed.

"Alright. How about you think about it, and we talk about something else for the rest od the session?"

Jan agreed and they moved on, but the thought stayed with him. Was he simply not putting enough effort?

The question haunted him enough for him to drive to Nace's apartment few hours later. He only sent him a text asking if he was home, and once he got a confirmation, he sat in the car and drove here.

It was probably rude, but Jan figured that if Nace had an issue with him being rude, they wouldn't be here in the first place.

It wasn't until he rang the doorbell and heard the barking did he remember Nace had a dog. Ollie.

He knew that, of course. It was just that the two of them usually met outside of Nace's apartment and several times they came here, Ollie was being babysat by Nace's sister.

Well. Jan supposed it was bound to happen to or later. If Ollie hated him, did that mean he was immediately disqualified from soulmate status?

Nace opened the door, trying to keep Ollie from rushing into the hallway. Jan felt caught off guard, despite the fact that he was the one who rang the doorbell.

Nace was wearing a tank top. Had Jan ever seen him in one before?

"Please get in before he runs out, I don't feel like trying to catch him."

Jan quickly stepped into the apartment and Nace closed the door behind him. The Nace carefully let Ollie come closer.

Jan kneeled down, offering his hand for him to sniff at. He liked dogs well enough, but he was always at a bit of a loss on what to do with them.

Cats you had to build a bond with. Usually just being in their general vicinity was enough at the start. You let them come to you. Even if you offered them treats, you had to leave them at the same distance at first.

Dogs? Dogs were unpredictable. They could love you or hate you your smell. Or whatever it was that they could feel around you.

"Dogs can always tell if a person is good or bad", his brother used to say. Jan, who had dogs both love and hate him for no clear-cut reasons over the years, couldn't quite agree.

Dogs could feel something, certainly. But that something was only a first impression and they choose that intangible thing as a base to be loyal or not.

Cats, at least got to know you first before making any judgments.

Ollie sniffed his hand and cocked his head to the side, as if trying to gauge if he was alright or not.

"Hello," Jan said awkwardly.

Ollie came closer, nudging his snout against his hand and Jan carefully petted him on the head, waiting to see the reaction. When he started wagging his tail, Jan felt relieved.

Nace's dog hating him wasn't something he wished to deal with. There were plenty of other things that made him want to turn back and run away.

"He seems to like you," Nace said softly.

One bad call he share with his owner, Jan thought grimly as he stood up.

"That's good. I think we should talk."

Nace sighed.

"As much as I love how direct you are, that sounds very ominous."

Jan simply took his shoes off and shrugged off his jacket.

Ollie followed them as they went into the living room. Jan wondered if they were creating some sort of bad karma for the place, having all their fucked up conversations here.

Or perhaps he spent too much time around Bojan and his superstitiousness was starting to rub off of him.

"Do you want something to drink first or-"

"How about we just get this over with and then after you can offer me stuff if you want me to stay?"

Nace awkwardly sank into the couch, far enough that Jan would have to stretch to be able to touch him, despite his long arms. Was it for his own comfort, or for Jan's?

They were closer physically since they talked the last time. Sitting closer, hand brushing against each other, squeezing each other's shoulders on occasion. That sort of thing.

Now, though, there was no of that. As if Nace was already getting used to the distance. Which Jan supposed was fair, even if he felt a familiar burning at the soulmark.

Before Jan could say anything, though, Ollie jumped on the couch and attempted to nuzzled at his chest. Jan felt thrown off balance a bit as he petted him, which only prompted Ollie to settle in his lap.

"I don't think I am doing this whole thing right," Jan confessed, not taking his eyes off Ollie.

"Could you please be more specific?"

Jan scratched behind Ollies ear. Matej's dog liked that. Ollie made a content sound so Jan continued.

"You keep putting so much effort into liking things that I like and trying them out. And I-I mean I can do it too, but I don't know if it's even right. Like, shouldn't we already have matching interests? Is it even healthy if we both have to change?"

He took his hands off Ollie and clenched them in frustration. He hated how his tongue always felt like lead when he was supposed to talk about these things. He harshly pulled at his hair and tied it back with the tie around his wrist.

"This works like any other relationship would, Jan."

Jan scoffed.

"Does it? I don't remember any of my friends tailoring their interests to fit me."

Nace took in a deep breath. Jan learned he always did that when he was frustrated, like he was stopping himself from saying anything before he was ready.

"Really? Kris never tried listening to metal for you? He knows you favorite brand of tea on accident? You always keep ear plugs in your car if he gets overstimulated because, what? You did that before you were friends?"

Jan felt speechless.

"That's-

"Different? Yeah, of course it is, because this is Kris we are talking about."

Nace sounded resigned. Hurt, even. Jan slowly looked at him, but now it was Nace avoiding his gaze. He was staring at his hands, his expression troubled.

"I don't mean to say discard your and Kris' friendship. I think it's amazing you have him, but I'm jealous. Not because I think there is anything going on, but because you seem to allow others to get close to you while keep me at arms length. And I don't know what to do at this point to change your mind."

Jan's heart squeezed painfully. He never heard Nace so resigned. He was always the one to try and find a solution and not give up.

He gently set Ollie on the couch, despite his small, protesting whine. Then he stood up sat closer to Nace. Close enough that their shoulders touched. This time, he was the one to take Nace's hands in his.

"I'm sorry. You are right."

Nace's head slowly rose, like he barely dared to be hopeful and look at Jan straight on.

"I was, well I am scared. We said we'll be friends, but I don't think I can be your friend. From the moment we met, I kept you at arm length and for one single moment I didn't, we ended up hooking up. You terrify me, Nace."

Nace's breath stuttered. Jan leaned his forehead against Nace's and closed his eyes.

"I had all but convinced myself everything about soulmates was bullshit, that all that was stories and people kept confirming them because they were desperate for it to be true. But that was all it was, a placebo effect. And then you came along. Shattered everything I thought I knew."

For a moment, there was silence. Then Nace's hand touched his neck, just a bit below the soulmark. Jan took in a deep, shuddering breath.

"May I?"

"Yes."

The first time Nace touched the soulmark, Jan was too terrified to even appreciate the sensation. But he did now. The feeling was warm and safe. Jan expected his heart to race, but instead it calmed down, as if soothed by Nace's touch.

Something about a gesture made something deep inside him uncoil and words just started pouring out of him.

"When I was fifteen, I started secretly listening to metal. The first time I did, I felt so guilty, I ended up crying and not allowing myself to eat for a day, as a penance. For weeks, I had been worse off than if I had never listened to it. It took me months to gather the courage to try again."

Jan hoped Nace would understand he was saying. He wasn't sure he could say it outright. Nace hummed.

"You are afraid, but you also know that doesn't mean this is bad because you are afraid."

Jan nodded, but Nace didn't say anything immediately after. When he finally spoke, he didn't say what Jan expected him to.

"When I was twelve, I was bullied a lot because of my weight. I remember being terrified of going to school. The only place I felt safe in was the church, because nobody bullied me there. I felt safe. Even if the conditions and rules weren't perfect, it was still better."

Jan opened his eyes, almost indignantly.

"I am not a church."

Nace cracked a small smile.

"No. But you are a safe space, even if the conditions and rules you impose aren't perfect."

Jan's answer was to kiss him. Not roughly, like he did before, but softly and slowly. Giving Nace time to pull away.

He didn't, instead he kissed him back and pulled him closer. One of Jan's hands curled around Nace's nape and the other reached for his wrist. He knew exact moment he touched his soulmark, because Nace shivered.

The only way Jan could describe the feeling was that the bond between them sang. Like the world slightly tilted and found a perfect balance.

Like they were perfect together.

Jan had to pull back from the kiss, fighting a near overwhelming fear that washed over him. Nace didn't let him go far this time, instead pulling him in a hug.

"It's okay."

Nace's voice was soft, and he was warm and comfortable and it was almost unbearable.

"I know it's fucking okay," Jan said, his voice breaking.

He buried his head in Nace's chest and hope he didn't feel the tears soaking his shirt. Nace didn't say anything after that, he simply held him as he cried.

Until the tears dried out and the fear slightly pulled back. Still, some doubts remained.

"What if the rules and conditions can't be improved anymore? What if this is just...who I am?"

He pulled back a bit, to study Nace's face as he answered. Unexpectedly, Nace grinned.

"Well, if a church gets a new priest-"

Jan rolled his eyes at the awful joke.

"You've been hanging with Bojan too much."

Nace was still grinning.

"A priest can also recommend new way of worship-"

Jan groaned loudly and pushed Nace back, so he landed on his back, laughing openly. He had a beautiful, infectious laugh that Jan couldn't help but laugh along as well.

"Please don't use church metaphors anymore. They are awful."

Nace stretched his arms over his head, exposing his muscles and tattoos even more. Jan couldn't help, but let his gaze linger on them.

"Make me."

Jan was never the one to avoid temptation. And Nace had always been so tempting. Almost like a red apple in a garden without color. Jan leaned down and kissed him again.

Nace melted into the kiss and reached out to him again. His hands reached Jan's hair and Jan tense slightly, but Nace gently pulled at the tie, until his hair spilled from the ponytail.

Jan was distracted enough by the kiss to let him. He wanted Nace closer and-

They were interrupted by a loud, insistent whine. Jan pulled back enough to look in the direction it came from, finding Ollie looking at them with the saddest expression he could possibly muster.

Nace burst out laughing, his whole body shaking.

"I think he doesn't like me hogging his new favorite."

Jan chuckled, sitting back up. He held his hand out and petted Ollie gently, immediately receiving a lick on his hand.

"Maybe I could have some sort of tea, if the offer still stands," Jan said, not looking away from Ollie.

"It absolutely does. I have mint tea Kris mentioned you liked."

Traitor, Jan thought, giving away my secrets.

"Nace?"

"Yeah?"

"Which one is your favorite?"

Jan turned his head to look, catching a surprise that flitted across his face before it melted in a soft smile.

"Probably chamomile."

Of course. The calming thing one always drank when they felt unwell to soothe and comfort. It fit him.

"I'll remember that."

With that Nace went into the kitchen, and Ollie brough Jan a ball he could throw for him. Jan took in a deep breath, feeling as if he just climbed a mountain. Whatever happened after this, he had a feeling he could handle after.

As terrifying as it could get.

Jan was nervously tapping his fingers against the wheel, resisting the urge to bite his nails. It was not a smart thing to do while driving.

"Are you really not going to tell me where we are going?"

He chuckled a bit at Nace's pleading tone. This really was an unusual role reversal for both of them, wasn't it?

"I told you, it's a surprise."

Nace huffed and settled back in his seat. Jan sneaked a glance at him when he stopped at the red light. Nace had his arms crossed over his chest, his warm brown jacket tightly wrapped around his biceps.

"One would think I am taking you to get shot," Jan teased, turning his gaze back to the road as the light changed to green.

Nace laughed at that, at least, his shoulders relaxing.

"No, I just-I am not used to surprises. You barely gave me any hints on what to wear!"

Jan smirked.

"I said wear something comfortable that you don't mind getting dirty."

He could feel Nace's unimpressed stare on him.

"Very helpful."

Jan chuckled and took a left turn, parking to the side. Nace immediately started glancing around, trying to gauge where they were. Jan couldn't help but think it was kind of cute.

He unbuckled his belt and got out of the car, waiting for Nace to do the same. When he did, he led him to a nearby building.

Nace was frowning, trying to piece together what they were doing. Jan decided to take pity on him.

"It's a pottery class."

His head immediately snapped towards Jan, his eyes widening.

"You are taking me to a pottery class??"

Jan swallowed, growing nervous all of a sudden. Did he misjudge? Did Jure mix something up?

"Jure mentioned you wanted to try it since your sister did pottery. I thought..."

"No! I mean, yes, I love the idea!"

He sounded so eager, so terrified that Jan would change his mind and snatch the offer away from him. Jan felt bad. Was he truly treating him in a way that made him think he'd play him like this for a joke?

"Alright then. Let's go."

There were people inside already, and their teacher quickly introduced himself. He gave them instructions on hand-building techniques with clay, saying they need to get used to that before they can move to the pottery wheel.

The process was messy and Jan underestimate just how bad he was at shaping the clay. When Nace looked over and saw his wonky cup, he doubled over laughing.

Jan side-eyed him, before taking a bit of clay and smearing it over Nace's shirt. Nace gasped.

Then he grabbed a piece of clay and smeared it over Jan's cheek. Jan slapped his hair away, trying to rub it off.

"If this gets into my hair Nace, I swear-"

Nace laughed again and someone shushed them.

"Can you two please let the rest of us work?" A blond man left of them said.

He was short, with blind hair just below his ears. He was frowning at them intently, reminding Jan of an annoyed cat.

His tall, tattooed friend-or partner, how could Jan know, really-gently pulled him by the sleeve.

"Lovro, com'on. They are just having fun. Look at this."

The man, well maybe even a boy, with how soft his features looked, immediately turned to the other man. He looked at him like...oh.

Jan looked at Nace, who was clearly eyeing the situation, seeing if Jan could handle it or if he needed to get involved.

Jan was hit by the sudden realization of how much he had come to care for him. Despite all the back and forth and his own grievances, he was-

He stopped his thoughts before any bigger words came to mind. It was still too early to think that. But maybe it wouldn't be, eventually.

Jan never thought of himself as someone who could settle down and yet that spark of hope still lived, nestled deep in his chest.

Maybe.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Nace asked, titling his head to the side.

Jan shook his head.

"Nothing. Let's try to shape these into something decent before we do that...wheel thing, yeah?"

Nace smiled, like a sudden light igniting in the dark.

"Yeah."

As Jan tried to save his clay cup, he suddenly felt bolder. He could ask, right? At worst, Nace will refuse, but when did Nace refuse him before? Jan cleared his throat.

"You could...come over after, if you'd like. You didn't meet Igor yet."

He didn't look up as he asked the question. It would be easier to take a no when he didn't have to worry about which expression he was making.

"You want me to come over?"

There was that tone again. Like Nace was shocked by this. Like Jan wasn't trying to do better for weeks now. He supposed he'd just have to keep trying.

"If you'd like to, yes. I did get some chamomile tea recently."

He sneaked a glance in Nace's direction. His eyes were soft and his mouth was lightly open, as if in wonder. Jan's heart started beating fasted.

"I would like that," Nace said quietly, looking directly at him.

Jan had to look away, but he couldn't help but smile slight. There was slight fear in his stomach still, but there was no ringing of the church bell, or an urge to reach for a necklace that wasn’t there.

He was still himself and he was still in control of it all. Simply taking steps in the right direction. It had been as if he was in inertia for very long time. After being stuck for so long, it was hard to get back into motion, but once he did, he knew it would get easier.

All he had to do was keep moving.

All Jan could hear was a drum of his own heart as they waited for the host to announce them. Thud. Thud. Thud.

It was finally time for them to preform at EMA. To try and get chosen to represent Slovenia at Eurovision. The importance, the fragility of the moment made all the colors more intense, almost as if they were in new, swirling patterns.

Jan took a look at his bandmates. Each of them in a different outfit that fit them perfectly. Bojan, in his loud combination of green shirt and pink pants, that he somehow managed to pull of regardless.

Kris, in a gold sleeves shirt and lighter pink pants that match. Of course-Kris always knew how much attention to draw to himself. Not too much and not too little.

Jure, with sky blue button up that perfectly fit his sunshine personality and darker purple pants for contrast.

All of them looked amazing, really. But it was Nace that Jan couldn't look away from.

Nace, who finally wore color. A purple suit with a silver shirt underneath. The suit had intricated details that made Jan want to run his fingers over the material and feel it's shapes.

When he arrived, he was always pale beige in their mix of chaos and color. Slowly but surely, that changed. And here they were now.

Jan shuffled closer to him, almost as if pulled by an invisible force. He could feel it, but he found it more comforting now, rather than scary.

"Ready?" He whispered, smiling at him.

"Ready," Nace answered, briefly brushing his hand against Jan's.

"And next up, we have Joker Out!"

They stepped on the stage as the people clapped and Jan could feel the adrenaline fully hitting him. He couldn't concentrate on whatever Bojan briefly said before he started singing.

All Jan could focus on was playing. His fingers slid over the strings just as perfectly as they did the very first time he nailed a song when he was sixteen.

Everything else faded away, like looking at the world through a sort of fog. Only music existed. Even Bojan's singing was slightly muted in that moment. Like Jan was alone with his guitar.

Then his gaze slid to Nace and he found him already looking in his direction. Nace, who still had the ability to be in Jan's bubble that one else could touch.

He didn't mind the company, though. Not anymore.

He sent him a little wink and watched as his cheeks turned slightly red. Then he turned back to the audience and took a deep breath. Then let the bubble snap and all the sound and sensations rush back to him.

Because there was never really a need for the bubble at all. Not when he was at the safe space.

There was no divinity here. None other than the music itself, that they shared with the audience.

When they played the last note, there was a thunderous applause and part of Jan already knew. He could feel it in their bones that they won.

The knowing of being at the right place, at the right time. With just the right people, too.

The rest od the night passed in a blur. Jan knew he talked to people, but later he'd be unable to recall what he said. He'd remember the high of the announcement that they won and all of his friends rushing into a group hug.

It wasn't until they all changed back to their everyday clothes and were waiting for Bojan in the cold, that the realization finally started to sink in.

"We won," he whispered into the night air.

"We did," Kris said, smiling.

Whatever makeup they put on him made him look more ethereal than usual. He looked more content than Jan had seen him for awhile.

"What is Bojan doing for so long?" Jure wondered, his eyes lingering on the doors they all cane through.

It was odd. As much as Bojan paid attention to his looks, he never took this long.

"I'll go check," Jan said, getting to his feet.

Jan felt slightly guilty, over how little he talked to Bojan outside of the practice in recent weeks. Being caught up in the whole soulmate dilemma, he didn't take the time to pay as much attention to his friends.

Well, that was another thing he could start fixing now.

He found Bojan in the changing room, completely dressed, but staring off through the window.

"Bojan? Is everything okay?"

Bojan flinched, as if woken up from a very deep sleep. He blinked at Jan, confused.

"Ah, yeah! Yeah, I was just a bit lost in thought. Did you guys wait for me for long?"

Jan stepped closer, putting his hand on Bojan's shoulder. Bojan leaned into the touch, breathing out slowly.

"Are you sure you are alright?"

"I-" Bojan bit his lip, his gaze jumping around the room almost frantically, never staying for long and completely avoiding Jan's face.

"I just...this is a lot. It feels enormous. And of course, of course I am happy we won. It just feels like we set a new course all of a sudden, if that makes sense. Like it feels like my life already changed."

Jan pulled him into a hug. Bojan took in a sharp breath and then relaxed, hugging him back. They just stayed like that for a moment.

"I know. It's terrifying but it's going to be okay. You have us, alright?"

Bojan's arms tightened around him for a bit.

"Yeah."

They were silent for a bit and Bojan already pulled away from the hug when Jan spoke again.

"I actually owe you an apology. With how I reacted when you brought up soulmates for all these years."

Bojan shrugged.

"It's fine. I figured it was a sensitive topic."

Jan shook his head.

"Yes but it's not an excuse. I am sorry, Bojan. You were allowed to be excited at prospect of meeting them without me putting you down for it."

He rubbed tips of his fingers against the nail of his thumb. Resisting the urge to mess it up more.

"I won't say I completely understand, even now with Nace. I still very much love being independent from him. But I am saying I understand more."

Bojan smiled, reminding Jan that if Nace was the light in darkness, Bojan was certain a sun, his rays bringing about a new day.

"Thank you for saying that. I am excited to meet her, one day. Whenever destiny decides we are ready."

Jan rolled his eyes, more for the dramatic effect than anything else. That was still extremely cheesy, but it was very on brand for Bojan.

"Sure, lover boy. Now, can we go before the rest of them freeze outside? It is December, y'know?"

Bojan laughed and grabbed his bag. He dramatically pointed to the door.

"To wherever destiny may lead us!"

Jan cracked a smile, unable to keep up the brooding persona.

"To whenever destiny may lead us," he repeated quietly.

Then he stepped over the threshold after Bojan and for the first time in many years he knew everything would be alright. As long as he had his family, soulmate included, by his side, everything would be alright.

No matter the challenges that awaited them.

#my writing #joker out #jance #inertia

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