#I do fear some of you guys hate women idk tho

[mistershr1mp]

Sorry one last thing. It is actually driving me insane how dense people are being about especially whether or not Shoko cares about Gojo.

First and foremost, being a jujutsu sorcerer IS a curse. It means that you are constantly conditioned to perpetuate violence and be desensitized to death and loss as a means to accept how truly suddenly you can lose anyone. It’s a motivation to be strong and not get left behind. This also means going down this path actively fractures relationships and pulls people apart from emotional bonds as to not get too attached (tho obviously, with every close romantic platonic and familial relationship we see it daily, because love perseveres as much as curses do).

Between Shoko’s already sheltered nature due to the utility of her abilities needing to be protected, naturally becoming conditioned to death and loss of her peers intimately as a doctor, and the disparity in strength between her, Gojo, and Geto, emotionally she feels ignored and casted to the side, but most importantly like she couldn’t ever reach them. This is the same vice versa with Gojo and Geto. Because of the immense amount of trauma as well as the nature of what it means to get stronger none of them could communicate nor reach the other.

Despite this literal and figurative gap, her actions and thoughts prove that she cares immensely about Gojo and Geto, and she goes out of her way to reach them in other ways. Something she does know is that Satoru is strong, and I don’t think until the fight actually happened she ever thought there was even a chance he could lose (we see her look genuinely distressed and get distracted as the fight goes on). This is a plan that was absolute last resort that no one wanted or thought would happen. She doesn’t have time to grieve, she doesn’t have time to object anymore. Satoru is gone and everyone is putting their life on the line to defeat the very prevalent threat in front of them. This is also an end Gojo accepted and I don’t think her objection would have changed his mind (however he obviously longs for that validation but can’t receive it bc he’s had to push everyone away since Geto’s defection).

It’s a horrible, despair inducing end for Gojo. It is heartbreaking to see his body reanimated for violence and bloodshed by a student who he tried to preserve the youth and innocence of. But to blame Shoko, who literally does not have another choice and is too occupied with saving other sorcerers and helping defeat Sukuna by healing people to pretend Geto was the only person who cared about Gojo is lunacy. She’s just as emotionally stunted and everyone processes emotions differently.

Gojo, Geto, and Shoko were the best of friends and loved each other immensely. They just didn’t know how to handle the world around them and were unable to communicate and reach each other fully. This is just my opinion tho so what do I know lmao

[missbaphomet]

oh yea those individuals sure suck i wonder what they all have in common:) you can never know if a male is gonna be a creep or a danger like them so that's why we're scared of them all and our fear turns into hate. it's literally not that hard to understand?? yes, women can be dangerous too but no woman has ever been that disgusting to me. no woman has ever catcalled me or whistled at me or creeply followed me or any of my girl friends. no woman i know has ever seriously made "women should go to the kitchen" jokes or inappropriate sexual comments about other women and their bodies or made rape jokes (unlike literally all the men i know btw). my male classmates used to secretly take pictures of female classmates and teaches' asses whenever one of us bent over and posted them on this now deleted instagram account. no woman i know has ever objectified other women like that. anyway i know all the bodies there are from women killed by males because i read news that tell the whole story once they're found + the only men found dead there died because they couldn't swim or fell down. and im from italy btw where we hear about femicides happening everyday fr it's deeply heartbreaking idk how you can just pretend like it's not real. men get killed too, of course, mainly by other men and not for the same reason women are killed. and they kill themselves more often only because they use more effective ways to die than women.

What they have in common is that they were rude to a person on the street, hope this helps.

Maybe don't assume everyone is out to hurt you? The overwhelming majority probably won't realize you exist once you leave their peripheral vision. This is some severe victim complex shit, and you're justifying it with fucking Star Wars of all things. You do realize that the end of that quote states that hate leads to suffering, right? It's a fucking warning. Also, great job lowkey accidentally comparing radical feminism to fascism... but let's be real, radical feminism is fascism lite™

Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it hasn't happened. My girl friends in high school used to make jokes about that kind of shit, and I'm sure plenty of others have as well. And if (big fuckin if) "literally all the men" you know make jokes that make you uncomfortable maybe you should just. Not know them? I have had a lot of guy friends and I can think of only one of them that was genuinely a dick.

I feel like this is a lie tbh. Seems awful convenient that there's not any evidence, and it's super easy to make false claims. If it happened, damn, that sucks bro, sounds like a couple students were shitty but it's not like anyone can verify.

Also now's probably a good time to mention that "femicide" doesn't mean "woman killed by a man for no reason." It means "a woman was killed because she was a woman." If her sex was not the motive, then it wasn't femicide. Even if 100% of those you mentioned did happen to be killed by men, unless explicitly stated that he killed her for being a woman, we really don't have any way to know. The distinction is important here, because that would be the difference between a hate crime and simple murder. Also that's a pretty bold claim that the men were only drownings and falls, especially when you immediately turn around and state that men get killed too. And once again, men are more likely to be killed than women per the UN's report of .57 per 100k for men v .37 per 100k for women, which works out to 570 v 370. I am genuinely surprised how close it is, but these are overall homicide rates and I can only look at the numbers. I don't live there. @femmebisexuelle maybe you have some insight here?

Suicide ≠ homicide. Congrats on the argument that men are better at killing themselves tho?

[hrina]

heyyyy first off i wanna say you srsly need to get out of your own head (in the nicest way possible!!) the guy you’re hu w is clearly very (VERY) into you. even w the hiccups you had before, he tried to work w you / comfort you and rectify what he did wrong which is smth not even some boyfriends can say. basically, he seems to be super into you, not just sexually, and building a relationship w you, even if it’s unlabeled for the time being. for that i think you can let go of the worry that he’s gonna dump you right after. he also seems very willing to go at your own pace and respect your boundaries, i’m sure if you mentioned your reluctance / anxieties he would be super respectful of them and follow your lead. also, ik some women hate the whole hu culture, and i understand why, but this guy isn’t some random one night stand, i think there’s some comfort in knowing him beforehand, having a rapport w him, and him knowing what you like. if you’re really into him and wanna sleep w him, literally say fuck it and have a good time, he clearly knows how to treat you well. if this isn’t a super pressing thing you wanna do, do what’s right for you and wait until yk you’re in a comfy relationship! there’s no rules to any of this, it’s litch rally just vibes !! djksndms idk just stop worrying abt all this and thinking in terms of schematics lmfao just have fun and do what you wanna do, whether that’s having sex now or waiting, it’s fully up to you. DO have protected sex tho, if sex is smth you’ve talked abt (or not and you will) def bring up that you wanna do a double contraception before. ik you’ve been burned before and you have a hard time trusting, but don’t let sm fear get in the way of knowing what’s best for you, or making yourself feel insecure, or just stopping you from living it up in your twenties. annie ways suuuuuper long ask, you don’t have to post, just some words of advice and comfort (:

i love u thank u so much for this AND UR SO RIGHT 😤😤😤 my brain is being dumb as fuck. but ty for being so sweet and comforting. like u rly did a great job of putting it into perspective while also telling me the hard truths that i need to hear. ily 💞

[azucarian]

I really like your It Girl hc. Can i request a Tenjiku version pretty please(灬º‿º灬)♡

Hi anon! I'm glad you liked it! I did warn that I'm not all too familiar with Tenjiku as a gang - literally only really know Izana, Kakuchou, Ran and Rindou (but the twins didn't really give a f about Tenjiku?? so idk) but I'll try my best just for you <33 (Toman Ver.)

Even though she's perfectly capable of handling herself, they won't let her get hurt... but they'll happily sit back and what her kick ass

Characters - Mains of Tenjiku

FEMALE READER

MANGA SPOILERS

Masterlist

✰ let's get one thing straight - if you're in tenjiku you've gotta be at least a little insane, or insanely strong

✰ so why are you in tenjiku?? that's what most of these shitty wannabe delinquents are questioning, and, in the process, looking down on you as if you're the most fragile thing they've ever laid eyes on

✰ you're absolutely flawless - even your flaws look perfect?? like what, ma'am? you look too much like a doll to be in a gang - and a lot of people think you're the "pass around" for the tenjiku boys

✰ "yo, doll, why don't ya c'mere instead and make me feel good? dun look like you're good for much else" yeah you quickly prove him wrong, and promptly kick him in the no-go zone before flooring him

✰ you've gained the respect of the delinquent world, 'grats ~

✰ how you came to join tenjiku is a whole fuckin' rollercoaster but let's go! ✰ you met the haitani brothers before anyone else - you attended the same middle school (ran was a third year, you were a second year, and rindou was a first year) ✰ literally they hated you - you seemed really stuck up and snooty ✰ hOwEvEr, you made them adore you in seconds the moment you stepped in to defend them from some girls who started trying to cause drama - knowing that the brothers had a moral compass of not hitting girls (to them, it just wasn't right - they didn't want to hurt women, even if sometimes it felt like they deserved it)

✰ you went to juvie - it happened, we don't talk about it (but tbh, you'd probably go for cutting a guys dick off or smth because?? normalise teaching disrespectful men a lesson i'm not endorsing violence pls-)

✰ that's how you met izana, and, in turn, came to know kakuchou - izana just could kinda,, tell?? that you were strong ✰ "join my gang when we get out of juvie" ✰ you shrugged "sure, sounds fun,"

✰ IT WAS FUN- until obv toman but shh

✰ you form an alliance with izana called "only look, don't touch" - kakuchou also gets you guys matching necklaces 'do not touch, they bite' ✰ izana is lowkey offended - like, he wouldn't bite you he'd just lowkey try to kill you?? you find it hilarious tho

✰ dinner "dates" with rindou and ran every thursday - it's kinda forced by them on your but you don't mind ✰ they pay anyways <3

✰ okay i'm sorry but a tenjiku!reader would be so strong to the point where she could bodyslam someone three times her height - and that creates such a fear that she basically runs tenjiku but izana is the "puppet boss" ✰ izana doesn't really mind either - he's kinda scared of you too

✰ during the tenjiku vs toman fight - you prove to them that you care though, no matter how sarcastic/rude you can be ✰ grasping kisaki by the wrist and twisting it to the point where he's kneeling on the floor is one way to silence the battlefield - especially because 1. he's on your side 2. he's holding a gun ✰ the look in your eyes is chilling tbh - "you tryna kill my family, kid?", half-expect kisaki to stammer an excuse out of his stupid mouth

✰ fight dissipates so fast after you let go of his wrist, watching as he gets snatched up by hanma and then chased by takemichi and draken

✰ izana has never hugged you before, but he does today and doesn’t let go - just squeezes you until you hug back ✰ “don’t do that again - please, you could’ve gotten hurt” ✰ “you and kaku-chan would’ve gotten shot if i didn’t, ‘zana - i can’t make stupid promises like that”

✰ ran and rindou breathe a sigh of relief as they come over, lightly nudging you between them “you’re an idiot” “think a little better next time” “being cute ain’t gonna make you bulletproof”

✰ kakuchou thanks you tearfully “i- i thought he was gonna shoot izana... i can’t lose him, he’s my family” ✰ broke your heart rlly ✰ “i’m your family now, too - don’t forget that”

✰ wholesome, psychotic famalam <3

[damn-oh-dread]

A collection of quotes from Chapter 27 that made me feel things (mostly rage):

"You are rudderless"

YOU ALL CAN PRY SIUAN'S FISH PUNS FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS. The fact she says them so straight faced is what gets me. I unironically love them so much. Anyway,

"Siuan told herself that she did not envy these women their ability to channel - she was past that, surely"

😢

"You might be fooling each other, and maybe even the Gaidin - though I'd not count on that, were I you - but you can't fool me"

YES! RIP INTO THEM! SIUAN MY QUEEN

""Do you agree with Siuan, Leane?" Anaiya asked mildly. Siuan had never been able to understand why Moiraine liked the woman."

I am frothing at the mouth. The way Siuan and Leane are treated like children now because they can't channel. AS IF THEY WEREN'T THE TWO MOST POWERFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO

""You do not seem to understand that you are not Amyrlin and Keeper any longer. You are not even Aes Sedai." Some had the grace to look embarrassed."

You could like idk, still treat them with respect tho? Just a thought? Instead of belittling them every chance you get?

"While what was done to you followed the letter of the law narrowly," Sheriam said gently, "we agree that it was malignantly unjust, an extreme distortion of the law's spirit." ... "Whatever rumor might say, most of the charges laid against you were so thin that they should have been laughed away."

"Not the charge that she knew of Rand al'Thor and conspired to hide him from the Tower," Carlinya broke in sharply.

Sheriam nodded. "But be that as it may, even that was not sufficient for the penalty given. Nor should you have been tried in secret, without even a chance to defend yourself. Never fear that we will turn our backs on you."

Okay but like you guys did turn your back on them? "We won't turn our backs on you." THEN STOP TREATING THEM LIKE BABIES!!!!! I realize that to have supported Siuan during the coup meant violent death at the hands of Elaida but like you guys could have at least like tried a little to make it seem like you liked Siuan...

""I headed the Blue Ajah's net of eyesandears, before I was raised Amyrlin." More surprise. "With a little effort every Blue agent, and those who served me as Amyrlin too, can be sending her reports to you, by routes that keep her ignorant of their final destination." It would take considerably more than a little work, but she had already sketched most of it out in her head, and there was no need for them to know more at the moment."

YES SHOW THEM! It'll be everyone else's downfall, underestimating Siuan.

It should not be difficult," Leane said diffidently, "to put myself in touch with those who were my eyes and ears before I was Keeper. More importantly, as Keeper of the Chronicles I had agents in Tar Valon itself." Startlement widened a few eyes.

Okay but actually how incompetent is everyone that having spies in Tar Valon is surprising?!?!?!

""Siuan." Leaning forward in her thick-armed chair, Morvrin said the name firmly, as though to emphasize that she had not said Mother."

THIS LINE!!!! THIS!!! THIS MAKES ME GO FERAL! I AM SEEING RED! I AM SEETHING! I AM LIVID!!! THEY WAY SHES RUBBING IT IN!!!!!

"Why should we allow you to do as you want? You have been stilled, woman. Whatever you were, you are no longer Aes Sedai. If we want these agents' names, you will both give them to us."

THE WAY THEY ALL SEE NON-AES SEDAI AS LESSER! Guys your prejudice is showing~~~

"Siuan watched them mull it over in silence. They never considered the possibility that she was lying."

Okay but Siuan just straight up lying to their faces is so funny. She can do that now! This chapter has really just been 30 pages of showing how incompetent the White Tower is as an organization.

Anaiya nodded. "We understand your reasons for disliking Elaida, even hating her. We do understand, but we must think of the Tower, and the world. I confess I do not like Elaida myself. But then, I have never liked Siuan, either. It is not necessary to like the Amyrlin Seat.

Not the way the other Aes Sedai are apologizing for Elaida and diminishing literally everything she did to Siuan and Leane 😭😭😭

I do feel really awful for Leane in all of this. Throughout it all Leane was kept in the dark of most of the plan of looking for the Dragon Reborn and yet she was stilled along with Siuan just for being her coworker. Like Elaida has had it out for Siuan and Moiraine since they were novices! But Leane has never (explicitly) done anything against Elaida to warrant anything like that...

"I will try to give good service." Myrelle did not have to nod in such a satisfied way. Siuan ignored a small voice that said she would have done as much or more in Myrelle's place.

ah

"It will mean that the Tower truly is broken," the greeneyed woman said sadly.

"It already is broken," Siuan told her tartly

The way the Aes Sedai don't want to or aren't really willing to make any move against Elaida and are just so passive makes me so angry. They just want everything to go away! And for everything to fix itself!

She would rather wade naked through a school of silverpike than have these women realize that she was trying to manipulate them.

DAES DAE'MAR QUEEN!!! The way Siuan has changed so much from being a simple fishermans daughter...

She and Moiraine had worked too long to find Rand al'Thor and prepare him, given too much of their lives, for her to risk the rest of it being bungled by someone else.

Siuan is going to keep going because she knows that's what moiriane would do and God they are both such echos of each other I just I can't. Not moiraine having that exact same thought a couple chapters ago. Where she couldn't give up cause she knew siuan wouldn't given up even when she thinks Siuan is dead 😭😭😭

Kiruna and Bera would surely be willing to carry a letter to Moiraine, and they had seven Warders between them to keep the Aiel from killing them.

She needs to send a letter to let her know she's still alive and still able to continue the mission!!!! And you know stay in touch and figure out what their next steps should be. I guess the one convenient thing about Siuan having been stilled is that she can now be significantly more open about the fact she is working with Moiraine. It'll be easier to get letters to her now without needing to hide the fact she's sending letters at all.

"We do not want to tire you and Leane," Sheriam went oh. "I will ask one of the Yellow sisters to look at both of you. Perhaps she can do something to help, to ease you in some way. I will have rooms found for you, where you can rest."

What are they now? Invalids?

Strange to think that she and Elaida had worked together then, bringing Morgase to heel.

Crazy to think that they actually had one positive interaction in this series.

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

[happikattwuzheere]

was gonna try and do multiple characters in one post but nope! i have too much to say. also the pictures are all different sizes so its rly hard to get the photoset to look appealing, so we’re starting w/ blue. and also a colored pic of what adam looks like when he’s not a deer. boy’s tryin not to stand out. which goes great up for him right up until it doesn’t. lmao. i’ll talk a bit about him too w/ stuff that didnt get mentioned in the starter post about him and gansey, but this is mostly gonna be about blue. 

SO. 

there’s this fey entity, right? i don’t have a name for them, but they’re not...they didnt START the fey/human conflict, but they are benefiting from it, politically speaking? and when maura was younger, despite other witches being like “girl dont choose sides, we’re witches, we guard boundaries but we don’t choose sides,” was hotheaded and brash and went “ok but fuck that though” and one thing led to another and she ended up getting a curse on her firstborn. Oops. that’s where the kissing curse comes from, here; i’ll get into that much later in a text post probably but gansey’s survivor’s guilt thing doesnt come from him actually dying in this au it’s from something Else, but blue will still kill him if she kisses him, just, for different reasons, it’s an actual curse this time and not something to do with the nature of who they both are. 

her father’s still a tree light, but like, she actually knows that from the outset? because. they live in cabeswater. the tree lights are all around and accept her as one of their own even if she can’t turn into a tree, and as a result of that, she’s got some cool perks. 

a) extremely resistant and/or outright immune to a Lot of fey bullshit 

b) still boosts psychic energies and magical powers like in canon

c) the absolute safest person to be traveling in cabeswater ever, because the forest itself loves her, and also if you mess with her within the borders of cabeswater a bunch of tree lights will physically manifest and be like “hey buddy wanna think twice about that”

but she can’t use magic herself, still, which actually works in the favor of herself and the coven--witchcraft is in a sort of weird spot, culturally, where it’s both feared and often hated, but also understood to at times be necessary, especially by rural peoples like those of the village. im taking a very discworld spin on the witchcraft, because i love discworld and you can’t stop me, and so the attitude is, like. its frightening ancient magic and the church hates it but when there’s an emergency and someone’s on the border between life and death, or something is trying to pass into this world from another, etc etc etc, then you gotta suck it up and call on a witch because they’re the only ones who can deal with those things. so. the coven is tolerated, both because it’s too big and powerful to actually fight but also because it’s extremely needed when you live in a village right next door to fey lands. you NEED someone watching the border. however that doesn’t mean anyone wants to be seen publicly talking to a witch--but blue’s not a witch. she’s a witch’s daughter, but she’s not a witch herself, which is a step removed enough that she can go into town and run errands and also people will maybe pull her discretely aside and tell her if something’s coming up that the coven should know about, and it all works very neatly with her acting as a sort of liaison. very important role she plays, which is why gansey tries talking to her after his initial attempt to speak with the coven directly fails. 

speaking of the coven itself: i’ve been calling it the fox way coven, even tho it probably wouldn’t be called that because there’s no road called fox way that the coven is built on, it’s a big magic house out in the fairy forest, BUT they do have a fox theme because i love foxes and this is a gift i have been given. if people have familiars in this coven, they’re foxes rather than cats, because as wonderful as cats are u cant have them and foxes in the same house that will go bad. but also there’s a v small number of them, like maybe three or four total out of the much higher number of women living there, who are fey blooded like adam, but who become foxes rather than adam’s deer. persephone is one of these! (it’s worth noting the reason why they become the same animal is because of a combination of coincidence, intentional theming, and mostly just because like, virtually all of the residents there aside from persephone are related to either maura or calla) 

anyway the point is, because of this, blue’d seen enough feyblood transformations that when, one day when she was 9 or 10, on a visit to town, she saw the most distressed, disoriented fawn wobbling around frantically and was able to very quickly recognize that that was, in fact, a person who had probably turned into a deer for the first time, and responded by very calmly informing him that she knew who could help and leading him home. this is where those last two pictures come from, and how adam’s apprenticeship started. 

like, there was a lot of arguing from the witches immediately--of course we’re going to teach him how to become human again but we aren’t really going to take him on in the coven are we? he’s a boy, he’s some local kid we know nothing about, what happened to keeping it in the family, he’s the wrong animal and we’ve got a whole thing going on--at which point persephone parted everyone like the red sea, took one look at adam, went “mine now” and despite a lot of grumbling that was the end of it. she took him on a bit of a tour of cabeswater a few days later, after he’d had time to think it over, and he felt so drawn to the forest that he agreed to the apprenticeship.

so he’s technically persephone’s apprentice but like in actual practice he’s being taught by the entire coven lmao, ANYWAY

adam being adam also had a backup plan for trying to get out of the village--even at ten he figured witchcraft might be a first way out of there, he was already thinking about it, but by thirteen when the good ole abuse started (and at which point the last whispers of dissent died out very quickly amongst the coven, nope, adam is one of us now, do you want us to very threateningly hang out in your front yard sometime because we can do that--what do you mean no, let us do this,) he was also like. i dont think this is a guarantee of getting out of here i need a second job. and the thing is, as was mentioned in the original post, the fey blood also means adam’s got issues with iron; it’ll poison him if he’s stabbed with it but it also reacts to his skin touching it like a hot stove. he’s fine if there’s a layer between his skin and the iron, but if he touches it directly, it’s Bad. so ofc this headstrong idiot takes an open spot a t a metalworker’s in the village because adam is the king of making bad decisions. the witches have a betting pool on how long it’ll take him to out himself. “its fine i’ll wear gloves,” he says. “it’s the perfect disguise no one will expect someone with fey connections to work near so much iron,” he says. “i have everything perfectly under control,” he says.

anyway he totally forgets to wear gloves before grabbing an iron tool while his dad and his boss are both in the store and in clear view of him and that’s why he was getting chased by hunters when gansey rescued him 

also he and blue tried dating when they were like 13-14 and it ended about as badly as in canon and they made up later and by the time the story starts they’ve settled into very much being weird siblings. adam starts hanging out with gansey initially to try and basically spy on him, figure out why he’s here, but ends up rly liking the guy and deciding his reasons are sincerely to try and help people, and he tells this to blue who starts immediately accusing him of having a crush on the lordling and being a class traitor, because she does NOT like gansey at this point and really the nobility all prefer wizards to witches which is a stupid idiot decision and frankly the fact that this lordling is apparently enamored by some random deer is hilarious to her, but even moreso is the fact that adam actually defends the lordling to her, like, “wow adam its hilarious that the lordling’s friend thinks that you have charmed the lordling because from my perspective it looks the other way around” “shut uuuup you’re not listening im serious, like, yeah ok he put his foot in his mouth really hard when he talked to you but im telling you i dont think the whole i-wanna-understand thing is an act” “idk if i can trust you through those rose tinted glasses buddy. tell me again about that time he called you princely?” “oh my god” 

this is turning into rambling but. thats the gist of the witches and blue esp thank u for coming if u made it this far here’s a bonus persephone fox 

[raveismysublime]

I am attempting to right a fic

So I am re-reading ACOWAR and am at the part where Nesta and Elaine go visit Graysen to try and get him to help the humans or something like that and Nesta is beating up Graysen for hurting Elaine. 

So my mind wanders and goes... what if Cassian was there to see this? and then.... what if Cassian saw this from his POINT OF VIEW!!!!!!! So I’m like let me write this, 

I have never wrote fan fiction besides some Lunar chronicles shit on Wattpad and Lesbian smut (don’t ask, it helped with my sexuality tho) SO please don’t come at me if you hate this 

I just really wanted this from Cassian's perspective, like watching Nesta be a bad bitch instead of a rude bitch ya kno? Idk but here yall go 

I apologize in advance if this is shitty ( it probably will be, please don’t hate I love u guys) and will probably never right a fic again but ok enough talking here ya go

Im gonna be taking parts of ACOWAR and typing them in so it looks believable 

**we’re gonna imagine that Cassian went with them for this to work okay**

-------------------

“So only the rich and chosen will walk through the gates?” Rhys asked, arching a brow. “I can’t imagine the aristocracy being content to work your land and fish in your lake or butcher your meat.”

This meeting was going nowhere, thought Cassian as Rhysand argued with the close-minded human boy. The fact this pitiful man thinks his mere father and some iron were going to protect him and the human lands from Hybern’s wrath was stupid, laughable even.

How he was able to land a Archeron’s sister was beyond what Cassian could think of. For once, he would agree with Nesta on the idea of this marriage. 

“We have plenty of workers here to do that.”  so the little boy speaks. Cassian wanted to retort, he wanted to desperately put this pathetic weasle of a man in his place but bit his tongue. This was not his fight, this was Elaine’s and at the moment Rhysands. He would not intervene. 

Because if he did intervene this whole place would come crumbling down and weasel boy and his father would be crying in their underwear. 

But Jurian said to the lords, “I fought beside your ancestor. And he would be ashamed if you locked out those who needed it. You would spit on his grave to do so. I hold a position of trust with Hybern. One word from me, and I will make sure his legion takes a visit here. To you.” 

“You’ll threaten to bring the very enemy you seek to protect us from?” Weasle boy said. 

 Jurian shrugged. “I can also convince Hybern to steer clear. He trusts me that much. You let in those people … I will do my best to keep his armies far away.” 

He gave Rhys a look, daring him to doubt it.

 We were still too stunned to even try to look neutral.

Cassian wondered if the elder lord might be the one who could actually be reasoned with. Especially as Graysen said to Elain, “Take that ring off.”

 Elain’s fingers curved into a fist. “No.” Ugly. This was about to get ugly in the worst way— 

“Take. It. Off.”

How humiliating, Cassian thought, to Elaine for everyone to witness this absurd man. If only he could reach around, grab weasel man by the neck, pin him against the wall and shove two of his knives into each of his balls-

That’s enough,” Rhys said, his voice lethally calm. “The lady keeps the ring, if she wants it. Though none of us will be particularly sad to see it go. Females tend to prefer gold or silver to iron.”

Graysen leveled a seething look at Rhysand. “Is this the start of it? You Fae males will come to take our women? Are your own not fuckable enough?” 

That was the last of it that Cassian was willing to endure. Was this man stupid? He should not be alive at this very second. He should be drowned in crimson and tears. 

“Watch your tongue, boy,” his father said. At Least he had some sense to shut his son up. Elain turned white at the coarse language.

Graysen only said to her, “I am not marrying you. Our engagement is over. I will take whatever people occupy your lands. But not you. Never you.”

Fucking bastard. To even speak to a women like this, to even dare 

He was going to rip out his throat 

Tears began sliding down Elain’s face, their scent filling the room with salt.

 Nesta stepped forward. Then another step. And another. 

Cassian watched her every move, every breath and the anger etched across her brow. He could do nothing but stare at her movements 

He could do nothing but stare at Nesta

Until she was in front of Graysen, faster than anyone could see. 

He watched her dress swish against her curves, he watched her fingers 

Until Nesta smacked him hard enough that his head snapped to the side.

He made a sharp intake of his breath. He had only ever seen her mad, furious, bitching to him or any other male. Never, never had he seen her so calm and burning towards someone else.

To him, she was snarky and he snarked back

To this man, she was calm and collected as her eyes burned into his face. Cassian would have never wanted to be on the receiving end of that look. 

She was devastating. 

 “You never deserved her,” Nesta snarled into the stunned silence as Graysen cupped his face and swore, bending over. Nesta only looked back at me. Rage, unfiltered and burning, roiled in her eyes. But her voice was stone-cold as she said to me, “I assume we’re done here.”

The power uttered in those words. The power in her

All Cassian could do was watch her. Watch her defend her sister to no end, watch as the poor boy looked into her eyes with fear. 

 Feyre gave her a wordless nod. And proud as any queen, Nesta took Elain’s arm and led her from the guardhouse. Mor trailed behind, guarding their backs as they entered the veritable field of weapons and snarling hounds waiting outside 

He enjoyed watching someone else take in the brunt of Nesta’s words and actions. It was entertaining to him to watch another male be weakened by her. He could get used to seeing that quite often. 

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta 

He couldn’t help laughing to himself.

She looked so beautiful when she was angry, he admitted to a small part of himself.

Gods, this women. 

-----

OKAY i know that was probably so bad but I tried? idk tell me what ya’ll thinkkkk i just really wanted this written somewere but admittidly it sounded better in my head haha 

I am just craving so much Nessian stuff at this moment like I am going to BURST where is this book. 

[divine-draws]

okay i had a whole google doc that i wrote a buncha shit but imma try to CONDENSE it and make my ideas more clear bc there was some wishy washy in there. BUT dabihawks ice skating au bc im gay for that shit. all of it under the cut bc this shit is gunna get LONG. buckle in fuckers. ALSO FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ABOUT this i will be happy to answer shit :3c

SO fair warning before we begin. i know shit about ice sports. im like 1) not THAT educated nor have i legit participated though ive always wanted to and 2) this is just self indulgent so like if i dont get shit right or whatever dont come at me bro. im here to have FUN and live a bit vicariously. also as for location of all this shit i dont know and dont care and am american so my perspective on things are skewed. anyway cw: abuse mention

so dabi (touya) is a previous figure skater

he’s a figure skating prodigy 

enji was a pro hockey player (id say figure skating but this man was BUILT like a brick shithouse idk man) has a lot of championships under his belt but doesnt even begin to touch the legacy of his one sided rival yagi toshinori

him and rei meet and marry at a young age. she like.. actually liked him then?? shit was kinda okay but things kinda.... got bad quick. the abuse etc was ... yeah. she ends up having dabi and fuyumi (they’re twins babeyy) at a young age too and kinda doesnt feel like she can get out of her horrible marriage 

we wont dwell too much on the bad part of all of this though. anyway rei was a figure skater

p well known and known for her fucking GRACE god she moved so well on the ice.

she was so beautiful and spoke through her movements and enji loved that... and so as a hockey player and with a (now previous) figure skater wife he was like aight my kids WILL take up an ice sport and be the FUCKING BEST

dabi isnt made for hockey. enji tries to get him into it but it’s... nah... fuyumi isnt the best with figure skating. she’s good!! and her and dabi do some pair skating when they’re younger but it’s.. hm. dabi is the one with the clear talent here. (fuyumi is a beast on the ice when it comes to hockey though. will dominate. but she kinda... didnt really continue with it)

enji isnt PLEASED that his son isnt gunna be a hockey player but he still values figure skating and will fucking make sure he’s the BEST at it. and so the brutal training starts. he gets some good coaches and also takes up the coaching mantle 

the thing is.. rei was amazing as a skater but her body just... wasnt really made for all of that??? and dabi unfortunately kinda inherited that. his body hates the impacts and such. he’s amazing at figure skating. he has a grace similar to his mothers but there’s something more fierce to him. 

and honestly !!! he gets far!!

also natsuo comes around. he’s a bit too clumsy for either sport and resents the fact that him and fuyumi are neglected by their father. he also loves touya and gets so pissed seeing his brother so hurt

and shouto is born and this kid was made to be on the ice. he’s skating from the moment he can fucking stand on his own.

obvs enji’s attention is split but it’s mainly on touya who is winning championships and GOING places but it’s still not good enough

anyway idk how far he goes?? but it’s the biggest competition yet and on ice mid routine he lands wrong

one thing leads to the next and he’s pretty much medically retired from a young age. he can skate. he can still kinda preform but he cant do what he used to at ALL and he cant keep up with the brutal pace enji sets. there’s a lot of trying to push him still and it’s just.. not happening

for all it’s worth dabi is kinda glad he isnt doing it anymore. but he fears for his babies brother. shouto is a natural and while yes being a professional athlete of any sort is brutal on your body, his body is a lot more capable

but like touya before, shouto is pushed to his absolute limits. bleeding and injuries and puking his guts out from being pushed too far

there’s a lotta resentment but he still pushes through w skating. 

(side note but there DEF is some todomido/tododeku w hockey player izuku who ends up being coached by THE yagi toshinori and who helps shouto out w making shit his own)

anyway so in the end dabi ends up working at a rink tho lol

it’s p much owned by shigarai and run by the lov (who in this au end up making their own little ragtag unofficial local hockey team p much and play games against other teams like them)

despite his father’s whole career, dabi does enjoy playing hockey with these dipshits

but yeah he enjoys his time working at the rink, fucking around and sleeping in random places and sometimes running the zamboni

he’s also best frenemies with shigaraki. they get along and both deal with a shitty upbringing and despite some slight animosity they both would kill if someone fucked w the other 

(also at some point dabi DEF teaches some little kid classes lol)

also dabi does sometimes skate his own routines from time to time. only when he’s alone really. though fuyumi has a pass to be there though he will gripe still

SO HAWKS AM I RIGHT??

now there is a couple ways to go with this and somewhere in me there is an au with hockey player hawks who takes skating lessons from figure skater dabi BUT

i think for this au we’ll just say he was a figure skater from the get go

i think he WANTED to do hockey as a kid. like shouto he’s also a fucking natural and was skating as soon as he could fucking stand and walk. and he looked up to enji and kinda wanted to take up hockey but 

listen,,, trans hawks. who wanted to be like todoroki enji and be a pro hockey player. shit just.. didnt work like that though and besides he’s a tiny dude and god he’d be fucking obliterated 

he kinda is self taught and the ice is his escape from his shitty home life

idk how this works but listen gotta tie in the commission somehow???

he’s scouted or whatever for figure skating at a very young age and his mom is happy to take the heavy scholarships and happy to sign him over to skate for these ppl and have them push him to be The Best

and this kid is FAST. he’s fast and is insane with his jumps and stg it almost looks like he’s FLYING (which gets him the nickname hawks)

the coaches are brutal and shit sucks and a lot of the time it kinda sucks the life out of the sport but he still enjoys it

he has a love for outfits that legit have flare to them (also im thinking of johnny weir’s one outfit w the feathers but yknow instead of white they are RED) and while he does do routines to boring ass music he mainly likes doing shit different (also dabi was p much forced the whole time to do shit to that boring ass music but on his own he’d use his own music taste to skate to)

and he’s good!! he GOES places. he’s like makes it to the olympics at a young age and is one of THE youngest gold medalists for figure skating

im sure somewhere along the line him and dabi DID meet. it was at some competition and hawks was VIBRATING bc there’s ENJI and he wants and autograph and oH GOD IS THAT HIS SON??? he’s HOT. (and at this time dabi still had his red hair and like no piercings and what little ones he had they were out but this dumbass will not recognize him later on)

but god he needs to chill TF out or he will fuck up in the competition 

he hears about dabi’s whole accident and like feels for him but again it’s not like they were friends. there was more of a slight rivalry and they barely spoke if they did

but so idk like.. between seasons hawks finds himself going like nearly every day to this rink.. aka shigaraki’s rink (also sidenote but lbr it’s really run by shirakumo who kinda has to fucking herd the cats w this group)

as frenemies dabi and shigaraki share their distaste for some of these pro athletes (tho some get a pass) and kinda complain about hawks a bit tho like..... shigaraki cant complain TOO much bc of the money from hawks renting out the rink for a few hours almost every day

dabi is too gay for this shit when he actually sees hawks in action. rip him 

tbh they dont really interact tho (besides dabi telling him to gtfo the rink or he’ll run him over with the zamboni) until one day that hawks catches dabi skating

he was done and should have been gone but he forgot something on the bleachers and then he sees dabi and.. oh boy he’s GAY AF

and also dabi is RLLY GOOD???

and so hawks makes a FOOL of himself and startles the poor guy and p much presses all the wrong buttons w asking why he doesnt compete or something

and i mean im sure they had some SLIGHT progress w talking before. nothing significant but god the walls go RIGHT THE FUCK UP and dabi is pissed

tbh dabi was gunna get to the point where he LEGIT talked to him and maybe lowkey asked him out (he says this but shigaraki calls his bluff) and now there is no way. he storms off and tries to avoid him so hard

and hawks tries to corner him a bit but after some time he does manage to corner him and be like pls just let me take you out to dinner to make up for that shit????

aaand dabi accepts bc listen okay he cant say no to free food ??? like he’s kinda pissy w this guy but also.. listen he has EYES 

anywayyy p much this just leads to them dating

hawks DEF looks him up and watches all the vids of him and like the idiot he is realizes that he met him before ( “oh my GOD i know you” “uh… we’re dating i hope u know me?????”  “nO I MEAN WE MET AT (insert comp)”)

but before that dabi did like tell him some shit. mainly about like how he used to skate blah blah and the whole thing that ended all of that

he doesnt really delve too deep into like his shitty childhood until well later

idk what leads to it but the convo finally comes up and it’s so draining for dabi and hawks is horrified and ready to fight his dad (“listen i just sharpened my skates i’ll just-”)

anyway some side things bc this is long and i will answer questions on this tho

rumi is a women’s pro hockey player and fuyumi who actually follows hockey and shit has the BIGGEST crush on her (they end up together)

also natsuo comes to see one of the leagues games (he hasnt really seen them play tbh?? he hears about it from dabi but he lives like at least a few hours away on campus and is going for med school so rip him) and like he meets shigaraki and anyway dabi is losing his FUCKING MIND bc his best frenemy/boss and his younger brother are FLIRTING. RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM???

dabi and hawks are really gay together and have skated together by this point and made out on ice a few times and shigaraki was miserable and is like “NOW U KNOW!!” and dabi is pissed bc “yEAH BUT THAT”S MY LITTLE BROTHER??? IT”S NOt thE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

[astro-break]

Quick first thoughts on the first ep of the Hypmic Anime. Spoilers beware (and im writing this as I watch so :p)

Otome’s speech is.... questionable from a persuasive point of view. Manga did a great job of introducing her (which you can read here) but they really cut out the more terrifying parts of her speech and how she uses force to show people that she's not to be messed with

Its cool seeing everyone in their respective environments though. thats cool. Though they could have added Sasara and Kuuko (shhh i know why they didn’t let me dream)

I love how poppy the typography is. Its amazing how the visuals just leap out at you. The OP does a great job of this. The first few seconds before the title really gives me Persona 4 OG OP vibes with the influx of information given. The rest is a clear concise and streamlined way that still gives character. Animation is sparse but still carries across a general idea of each character and shows off each character object. Rendering is really nice and pays a bit of homage to the posing artwork thats done for the MVs. They also do their division hand signals and thats cute

Love how the OP has blatant HifuDoppo and DRB matchup foreshadowing

so far I really like what theyre going for. BB is about brotherly familial bonds and they show the goods and the bads. Jiro and Saburo bickering right out the gate really cements the fact that they get along like cats and dogs but you can still see that they love each other, working together when the situation calls for it

Now the 3d models. Theyre... not great but usable if you don’t look too hard. They serve their purpose and don’t actively detract from the viewing experience.

Visual typography in the rap itself are fun and poppy but they dont.... speak to me? like theyre there yes and I appreciate them but the only ones that got me excited were from Ichiro’s rap

I take my words back the group portion was kickass and I apologize

I love how they interpret the Hypnosis Speakers though. Esp. Saburo’s organs. That was super creative and I love it! If there was one thing that I felt was missing from the franchise was a deeper exploration of the speakers but the anime puts a new and fresh spin on it! Love it, especially with their attack patterns!

If the production team ever feels inclined to, Id love to see those info sheets on Otome’s desk released. There seems to be very interesting info and stats written out about each member (like capabilities, personal status etc.) They all seem unique too so I really really really hope they release images of those sheets

OOOOOOOOKAY MTC. I have such a big biased for them so Im very torn to see what unfolds

Rio striking out on his own is interesting. Out of everyone in MTC hes the biggest team player yet here he trusts his teammates to go ahead. This either displays Rio’s willingness to trust his teammates or it becomes very OOC if the anime wants to set him up as a lone wolf like character

I love how they specify its a drug deal. It means that Jyuto surely will show up and it also shows that Samatoki knows Jyuto’s motives and willingly gives black market info that he knows aligns with Jyuto’s goal. Thats A+ detail writing there and a great establishing characteristic for both of them

OOohhhhhhhhhhhhh man Asunama-san’s voice acting is god tier his work as Samatoki is phenomenal. He pulls of Samatoki’s threatening voice so well with those almost calm words before his voice becomes loud and confrontational. Those rolling syllables in contrast to Komada-san’s almost lyrical and airy speech and Kamio-san’s strict and enunciated words is such a delight to hear. It just speaks to how amazing and great these Seiyuu’s are in order to pull of such amazing work

Im so biased but MTC has such a better rap than BB im so sorry. Just by watching Samatoki’s part, the imagery is amazing. Even the arrival of his Hypnosis Speaker was awesome and sent a shiver down my spine. using the lyrics to form blades and blood was such a great thing to do. Theres so much more variety that just him standing there and shots of his hypnosis speaker. The old fashioned vignette shots, the four panel spread, the nods to old Kurosawa era films are great and I love these small details. Even the typography looks better.

Again, the interpretations with the speakers is fresh and new. Its great and I love the different imagery and attack patterns. Each one is so unique but carries across each different style of rap.

The 3d modles aren’t any better tho lol

(Hi this is Astro who is reading over their assessment again and making a note. Yeah I’m a bit harsh on BB’s rap. I’m not going to change it since I still stand by it and this post is supposed to be a documentation of my first impressions. I think one of the reasons why I’m so harsh on BB is because of their dynamic as a trio of brothers. They Have to have a more uniform approach than the other divisions. Which in of itself isn’t a terrible thing, it just doesn’t catch my eye as much as MTC did. Thats all! I definitely don’t hate BB, they’re maybe my 3rd favorite division out of the current lineup [not including TDD era teams like Kujaku Posse, MCD, and Naughty Busters] its just that their rap was pretty meh)

Samatoki crouching like a real gangstar and the cigarette kiss killed me

sadjkhfjkasdghsadjkcsdjhsdfsjhf im dying i love these trio of dumbasses so uch oh y fod someone save me aaaaaaaa (Astro note here! yeah i died when the jyuto and samatoki’s stomach growled im weak please. Samatoki’s face is just so precious and funny I might set it as a profile pic somewhere)

But also my initial assessment of Rio possibly being characterized as a lone wolf is very much jossed and im very thankful for that. It seems that Rio was simply trusting his teammates to carry out their part of the plan while he carried out his own. I like that, it really shows how much of a team these three are and that they genuinely trust each other. He’s also comfortable enough around them to invite them to dinners after work casually and not just for special occasions.

I really love MTC guys

Oooh! we get Ramuda on his design process which is really cute. the inside of his studio is super cute and retro and i love it. the poppy old music you would hear in a cafe or 90′s resturaunt is also really cute (astro note: yeah i know that in ARB you see the interior of Ramuda’s office but its kinda different seeing it animated)

the translation i have has gentaro speaking in early modern english (Shakespearian english for those who aren’t english nerds like me) but from what I can hear, he doesn’t speak in a particularly old fashioned way? Its more formal than old? and hes speaking without any of his character persona lying thing that he likes to do (as he refers to himself as “Shousei” throughout the segment where hes in Ramuda’s office which is kind of his default pronoun of choice). so its kinda odd for the translation to go in that direction but im not complaining

Gendice banter is gold but it feels... flat? a little? it doesn’t have the same impact as in the drama cds or in the manga? i feel? Also Ramuda using gratuitous english is??? idk how to feel about that

kjshf thats against the rules Ramuda omgggg,,,,,,,, (astro note again: while watching i was under the assumption that using your hypmic for monetary gain such a as buskering [which is what FP is doing] is against the rules. May not be the case but whatever)

FP’s rap might be my favorite in terms of tune and lyrics though. It’s a nice laid back bop and really gives of chill vibes. the integration of 3d and 2d is really nice and i love how they play off each other in the rap. The wordplay is so fun with little nods here and there and the beat is poppy too so it really energizes me.

Ramuda’s rap concerns me slightly since he makes very subtle and small nods towards his past (being created in a laboratory, warfare, and his overall very unpleasant life experiences) but spins it into something cutesy. It could be a coping mechanism, it could be me overthinking it. But it does make me worry a bit. Gentaro and Dice’s rap really play off each other with Gentaro sticking to stories and Dice taking up the baton by carrying on that same imagery but putting his own spin on it.

the self awareness of how scattered they are as a team is interesting though. It doesn’t seem like something you’d speak about in a rap? but i guess since its not really a do or die situation they can afford to be looser on things like this.

Right off the bat, i don’t like how they handled Hifumi and Doppo in relation to Hifumi’s fear of women. Slug made a post once talking about this and I echo many of his sentiments. Hypmic has never been very tactful about tackling this particular issue and while I didn’t have high hopes that the anime would be any better it hurts to see Doppo take away the one thing that allows Hifumi to function within society.

Doppo’s breakdown mirrors a lot of my own mental state when I spiral though its shown a lot quicker than what happens to me oof. that hits close to home. though Jakurai’s advice is. Questionable. Its not the best advice to give to someone but we have no idea what kind of doctor Jakurai is so ill let it slide

Jakurai’s pose looks like hes going to do a mahou shoujou transformation lmao

I don’t have many thoughts about the rap though again. How they visualize the rap is interesting. the different imagery is quite interesting for each of them and the typography is nice a distinct but im still on the fence about the visuals here

The sound is in the same boat. The sound effects either drown out the rap or are too quet but some parts are nice at least. When they talk about Tokyo’s beating heart, the heartbeat sound is a but distracting especially since its only played once. But the imagery is at least nice

I wonder if for the eds they’re going to take a similar approach to what Enstars did and have a four different endings, one for each division. I love the blend of styles here and it really accentuates that although they’re different they mesh well together.

Ramuda’s silhouette though is hilarious. Love it.

:p and thats it. Uh not bad for a first episode. Established all 12 characters really nicely and their dynamics. I had some problems with it but then again nothing is perfect. I look forward to what they show us next week

[bookscoffeeandracoons]

366 Days Reblog Challenge April 2020

Another month is already over and in these messed up times I’m even more grateful for all the amazing work by these amazingly talented writers! So without much more rambling here are the fics that i’ve read and reblogged for @beccaanne814‘s 366 Days Reblog Challenge. And thanks again to @beccaanne814​ for the wonderful banners!

Happy reading!

01. Patching up by @petals-sunwards

Clint Barton x Reader

Warnings: mentions of blood and injury, a little angst and fluff

Prompt: Can you go a single day without accidentally hurting yourself?

02. A Good Suit by @portals-to-a-new-world

Leonard McCoy x Reader

Warnings: SMUT, 18+ ONLY!!, Some language, Mentions of being tied up, Oral (male receiving), uhhh I think that’s it tho

What? I have to give a massive massive shoutout to @bakerstreethound for the idea: {So have a later night party at the enterprise (can be for Kirk’s birthday, but let’s say you and Kirk are on bad terms so you don’t go to the party) you stay in your room tussling with your body pillow to make up for Bones absence. You wake up to find him sitting on your bed wearing the suit he went to Kirk’s party in.} Love, you’ve absolutely slaughtered me in this process but oml was it worth it. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it <3

03. A Bad Boy by @portals-to-a-new-world 

Leonard McCoy x Reader

Warnings: Listen. We all know I’m a slut for suits. So you can bet your ass this is as smutty as all hell. That being said, semi public almost smut, language, being tied up, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it yall), oral (male receiving), mild choking, dom!reader, listen it’s straight filth kay? Kay.

What?: Bones doesn’t want to go to a random 1920s themed party, so Y/n offers him a challenge. Smut ensues. (Sequel to A Good Suit.)

04.  One Night In Vegas by @avengerscompound

Tony Stark x F!Reader

Warning:  Talk of sex, aftermath of drinking and drug use

Summary:  You wake up in a Vegas suite with Tony Stark wearing the biggest diamond ring you’ve seen in your life.  The two of you then try and piece the night together

05. Your Prince, My King by @official-and-unstable-satan

Loki x Reader

Warnings: Dominant Loki. Language. Mentions of insecurities and mental health. Degradation and praise. Bondage? SEX Oral (Male and female receiving) and ACTUAL SEX ETA: Orgasm denial/delay (cause that’s apparently a warning? Didn’t know. Sorry) Odin in general. Loki. Reader being snarky and short tempered. Insecurities. Mentions of trauma. Language, probably. Bad writing? Idk what to put here, really. I’m bad at this. Smut. Mentions of smut. Actual filth. Out of character characters, probably. One day I’ll stop apologizing for my writing. I’m working on it.

06. Surprise by @mermaidxatxheart

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Swearing. If you think I missed anything, please let me know.

Summary: You try to get away with something, but Bucky catches you in the act.

07.  drive-through by @evanstarff

(i must have missed something here beause i can’t get to this fic anymore. @evanstarff seems to be gone. I’ll still leave the fic here, in case anyone knows if @evanstarff maybe has a new blog or something, please let me know!)

08.  Scabulous by @avengerscompound

Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Warnings:  Mentions of past injuries, poor feelings about body image, scars

Synopsis:  Bucky is unwilling to undress in front of you because he hates his scars.  Turn out he isn’t the only one with scars.

09.  Skin Contact by @avengerscompound

Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Series Warnings:  Angst, smut (hand jobs, vaginal sex, fingering), PTSD, mentions of past torture.  Superpowered Reader.

Synopsis: While on the run in Romania you come across a man who has a past very similar to your own.  When the people pursuing him track him down, you assume you will never see him again.

10. Mind Control by @avengerscompound

Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Series Warnings:  Angst, smut (vaginal sex, oral sex), PTSD, mentions of past torture.  Superpowered Reader.

Synopsis: While on the run in Romania you come across a man who has a past very similar to your own.  When the people pursuing him track him down, you assume you will never see him again.

11. CRUSH by @petals-sunwards

Clint Barton x Reader

Warnings: none, pure fluff and kisses

Written for @stuckonjbbarnes‘s 250 Writing challenge. My prompt was ‘You know, I’m really good at telling who has crushes on who‘ and I had a blast writing it.

12. An Exquisite Kind of Pain by @redgillan

Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: read it and you’ll see

Summary: Steve’s in love and that’s the problem.

The five times Bucky saved you…

…and the one time you saved him 

by @buckysknifecollection

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Series warnings: some mild swearing, mention of dangerous situations, death mention, injuries, mentions of men objectifying women; other than that - toothrotting fluff.

Summary: You have a special bond with Bucky. He’s more than your best friend, your partner in missions, the person you care most about. He often saved you from uncomfortable situations, always ready to protect you, but sometimes, you are the one who did the saving. A series of drabbles.

13. Part 1 

14. Part 2 

15. Part 3 

16. Part 4

17. Part 5

18. Part 6

19. Ink on his heart by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Bucky Barnes x TattooArtist!Reader

Warnings: Tattoo experiences, a couple stories about war. Some swearing. Mostly lots of feels and fluff.

Summary: Here’s how Bucky Barnes got a haircut and then decided it was about damn time he controlled his own destiny - starting with a bit of ink.

20. Friends in Training by @until-theend-oftheline

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Sam and Bucky are giant children

A/N: This is a drabble request written for @jewels2876 : How about this with Sam and Bucky? “Are you clinically insane or incredibly annoying?” “I don’t know, probably both?"

21.  Right Where You Are, That’s Where I Am by @corneliabarnes

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Angst, allusions to violence and PTSD, fluffy ending

22.  Looking Up by @avengerscompound​

Clint Barton x Reader (kinda)

Warnings:  action, canon-typical violence, Clint’s naked and a very proud boyfriend.

Synopsis:  Clint’s day was looking up. His girlfriend slept over for the first time. He’s pretty sure she’s a Jedi. He was having a nice bath. So how is it he’s now running down the street naked from gunmen?

23.  Distant Connection by @abovethesmokestacks​

A Bucky x Reader drabble series based on this post

Summary: You happen to be in the office when the email is sent out, you get Trip from IT to help you set up the VPN you need to be able to access company systems from home, you rifle through all of your folders and then just dump all of them in a box. It’s a surreal feeling because you are essentially cleaning out your office. As if you’re losing your job. This will be fine. You send an email to your project collaborator, someone named Barnes, suggesting a first video conference call on Monday before you log off.

This is fine.

Chapter 1: This Is Fine

Chapter 2: Introvert Olympics

Chapter 3: Business As Casual

Chapter 4: Jeremy Bearimy

Chapter 5: Toilet Paper Confessionals

Chapter 6: Netflix And I Have No Chill

Chapter 7: Social Dumbassing

24. Assemble: Bucky Barnes by @official-and-unstable-satan​

Bucky Barnes

Warnings: Language, Bucky struggling a little with the whole idea. I think that’s it.

Summary:  James Barnes remembers. He remembers the words. He remembers their meanings. He remembers what they made him do and he fears them. Even after he was ‘fixed’ by Shuri, he feared them. So, someone suggested he learn to love the words by associating the ways they could help him instead of hurt him.

25. Request for the “Until We Meet Again Series” by @sgtjbuccky​

Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

Warnings: a little swearing,

Request:  Omggg I have a idea for “until we meet again What if the reader loses her memory and goes to the Avengers because that’s the last place you remember is being, and then like they tell her about herself and they end up finding the prodigies or sum YASSSSS I LOVE YOUR STORIES 😝

26. Audiobook of Love by @nerdy-bookworm-1998​

Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Fluff

Summary: Steve and Bucky are missing their best girl while on a mission, but she has a special surprise  for them.

27. Sore Loser by @squirrel-moose-winchester​

Dean Winchester x Reader

Warning: Fluff, Gambling (is hustling money considered gambling?), Some Crack, Dean being Petty.

Summary: Y/N learns a few new tricks and hustles Dean, the king of pool, out of all his money.

28. Best Laid Plans by @suz-123​

A Falcon and Winter Soldier TV Fic *obviously this is NOT spoiler heavy as the show has not even been filmed yet*

Warnings: None really, just my usual casual cursing and sassy soldiers.

A/N: So, there was a post on here that went around yesterday about a plot theory as to what Zemo was going to be doing to tear these guys apart in their future TV show. Naturally, I was livid with this stupid idea and, naturally, I used the magic of fanfic to fix a problem that may or may not ever actually see the light of day :D

29.  Major Crush by @redgillan​

Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Explicit Language, Dirty Talk, Groping

Summary: Laser Tag brings out Steve Rogers’ competitive side and Reader loves it.

30. Count on It by @team-iron-wannabe-man​

40’s!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Y/N isn’t too impressed with the Infamous Sergeant James B. Barnes, however Bucky is definitely interested in her.

______________________________________________________________

That was all the fics I’ve read for the Reblog Challenge in April! A big THANK YOU again to all the writers! This time would be so much more difficult without all your work! 

For the readers: if you search my blog for the tag #fic rec you’ll find even more to read!

Stay healthy everyone and lots of love to you all! ❤

Back to main Masterlist 

[inyoursheets]

8, 9 and 23 please

Favorite trope to write.

im gonna go ahead and say friends to lovers bc im having wayyyyy too much fun writing the mutual pining in warm water

Least favorite trope to write.

ooohhhh im not sure? i dont think ive written anything i didn’t like, in terms of tropes? idk if it’s a trope per se, but i don’t like writing an OFC that people hate. 

idk if im formulating this right -- i can’t control  how readers interpret certain characters or how they feel about them and no matter how they feel about them it’s entirely up to them and there is no wrong or right way to do so, but i know there’s a tendency in some readers to read any OFC when paired with rio as... idk. it can be a bit of a... hostile reading, if that makes sense? idk if hostile is the right word here. maybe suspicious is better.

i think people can feel a sense of threat/jealousy/competition with anyone who’s paired with rio but beth. i understand that, i sometimes recognize that same instinct in myself, and i can’t speak for anyone else but for me i have a hunch about where it comes from. i think it’s a combination of on some level projecting myself onto beth, which is why anyone paired with rio but beth subconsciously feels like a threat to me, and, you guessed it, internalized misogyny. viewing other women as competition, feeling threatened by her being “better” than me is connected to patriarchy and capitalism and i want to resist those patterns of thinking in myself -- and also not play into them in the fic that i write. so i very deliberately try to write OFCs -- such as warm water’s aria -- as likeable. or -- not likeable, i don’t think that should be the goal per se, but i try and give them something that would go against that knee-jerk reaction of rejecting an OFC by virtue of her being paired with rio / in “competition” with beth. same goes for how i wrote rhea in the threesome fic, as ive talked about here. i try to make them human. they should get flaws! they should also get strengths! bc everyone has those!

two fics that i think really do this well are @pynkhues‘ Like an Unsung Chorus -- i really, sincerely appreciate how much V doesn’t become the bad guy here -- and @foxmagpie‘s little gifts, who really inspired me to think very carefully about how to write an OFC with the way she wrote Charlotte.

idk if any of what i just wrote makes sense or if im projecting too much, but this is something i try and give a lot of thought in the fic i write. so yeah! superficial and/or scapegoat OFCs are not my jam!

Single or multi POV, and why?

single! im kinda bad at capturing multiple POVs i think. tho now that i think about it, i don’t think ive given it a shot? but i find rio’s voice very difficult to capture, so the prospect of writing a chapter or entire fic from his pov has me shivering in fear.

thank you for asking! writer ask game

[eternaldipshit]

chap 5 aside

okay so i just posted chapter five and idk how much i wanna address of what i’m feeling when no one even follows this blog but i want to get it all out before i forget

it’ll probably be reiterated in the next chapter notes if i remember but omfg i really showed my age by having to google ‘chef’s kiss’ after two people used it in comments like omfg i thought it was like a reference to another piece of media? that i was somehow unwittingly ripping off?? and then i saw what it actually was and i, for the first time, felt like an Actual Fucking Boomer

not that i’m THAT old but holy shit. i am so out of the loop these days. 

anyway the comments i’m getting are soooo fucking nice and i kind of want to respond to them but i’m so awkward and just really not into the whole socializing thing right now for reasons so just know that i’m reading and using them all as encouragement whenever i feel down on myself about this actual dumpster fire of a fic

so let’s see what else i wanna say about tubtuh before i forget uhh

so originally the plan was haha jk there was no plan but originally i had dave completely disenchanted with bro like just. idk. i was looking at it black and white, but after having a conversation with my father (who was psychologically abused as a child) i realized that this shit is A LOT more complicated. well to be fair to me i always knew dave’s relationship with bro was complicated af but i wasn’t giving it the proper depth that it should have. i think even after dave recognizes that he’s been abused and fully acknowledges it, he’ll still love his bro on some level. this is the guy he looked up to massively after all, who raised him, and who dave tried to emulate for a long ass time (though that might have been partially out of fear?). idk if i’ll ever do this complicated dynamic justice but i’m trying to make it as in-character as poss and i’m worried i’m fucking it up idk ughughugh

that wasn’t very coherent but moving on

i’m not good at writing dirk not only because he’s a hundred times smarter than me, but also because his character wasn’t as fleshed out as dave’s was (at least in my opinion) and part of the reason i was so excited about the epilogues was bc i wanted to see more of dirk finally after all these fucking years!!! and then the epilogues shot that hope in the head and shat on its corpse so i tossed that whole experience into an incinerator and tried my best with what was given before that. 

granted, some of his character was influenced by what all i read in that horrid piece of garbage - see: his breakdown in that last chapter. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again - my take on epilogue dirk was that his enhanced prince of heart powers exacerbated his underlying issues with megalomania and his need to be in control. i don’t consider it out of the realm of possibility. even if i fucking loathed it to hell and back, it can be justified. 

i also see it as a flaming pile of horseshit tho, so there’s that. if you want to see my unfiltered thoughts on the epilogue, i’m pretty sure it’s the first post i ever made on this blog lmao fuck the epilogues. 

uhhhhh another thing i’m worried about is... pretty much all the beta kids lmao. i don’t think i have any of their voices right. also don’t wanna spoil anything but i really... never shipped dirk/jake with the exception of when it was first introduced and i was actively thrilled for an actual gay couple in a piece of popular media (which was a way bigger deal back then than it is now) and then things progressed and i just... jake seems... aromantic to me? i don’t think he’s asexual, but he only ever entertained the idea of romance when he felt romantic intentions directed at him. also, in his relationship with dirk (what little we saw of it anyway), he didn’t seem super into dirk in like the romantic sense? idk. i mean i know dirk was overbearing af but jake’s heart just didn’t seem in it and after that i’m pretty sure he’s like ‘i think i’m not meant for romantic relationships’ but i’m too lazy to check.

and i know that’s going to be a point of contention bc a LOT of people ship jake/dirk. and that’s fine, i’m obvs not against people shipping it, i just don’t think i would ever succeed in writing a dynamic that i can’t fully get behind? but we’ll see. 

also? jane got done fucking DIRTY in the epilogues. her and jade were both characters that i initially despised mostly bc i had this thing before college where i hated other women for no reason if they were too girly and heyo now i’m fucking gay.

anyway i love jane and jade now and jade also got done dirty in the epilogues (budum TSSS sorry) and i intend to ignore the epilogues espesh with those two bc again, fuck the epilogues. 

and the LAST point i will make in this already egregiously long post is that i have no idea how long i’m going to write this story, if i’m ever going to finish it, or even the direction it’s going. the end goal, though, is a happy ending. because these kids have been through hell and they deserve it.

i lied. the last point i will make: fuck the fucking epilogues. 

[somebody-already-took-this-url]

I have something to share with you, and I would really appreciate it if you'd listen. I recently (like, very very recently) forced myself out of over a decade of self denial about my sexuality. And I know y'all don't care, but it's really important to me that I get this all out there, and if you read this whole thing you'll understand why.

Okay, so for the past ten years I've been telling myself and everyone else that I'm bisexual. But the truth is I'm not, I'm actually 100% lesbian. But. I don't know, I guess I was so ashamed of my truth that I needed to pretend to be something I'm not. So for the past decade, while calling myself bisexual, I dated and fucked around with several people, all dudes (hello, that bitch heteronormative-societal-pressure is calling) and well, not a single instance of those relationships was ever satisfying, sexually or emotionally. I remember when I was, what 10? 11? And watched Once Upon a Time for the first time. Seeing Lana Parrilla as Regina Mills - that was the moment I recognized that I was interested in girls. And I'd like to blame some external source for why I decided that must mean I'm bisexual and not gay... but in reality I think it had more to do with my own fear, my own insecurities.

After being thrust into the knowledge that I liked women, I spent a few months trying out labels (bi, pan, etc) but never really let myself consider lesbian as an option. Because up until that point, it had always been a given that I liked guys, you know? Like, straight is the default setting for sexuality (which, don't even get me started) and even though my family is and always has been very accepting and liberal minded, straight was still what they believed me to be as I had never indicated differently.

But now I was armed with my queer self knowledge, right? And the summer before high school I actually did come out to my best female friend at the time as a lesbian, and she was all "that's cool whatever" and part of me felt like I needed, I don't know, more acknowledgment? It was really difficult for me to come out to her, really difficult to even let myself say that I was a lesbian, and she basically didn't give a fuck. Which, don't get me wrong - I don't blame her for at all. We were 13 yrs old ffs! But it made me feel like maybe I was wrong, and I wasn't actually gay. Put on top of that all the adults in my life telling me that I couldn't possibly know who I was, that I was still growing up and therefore everything about me would change...and yeah, I began to doubt myself. Began to doubt if I knew myself at all, I was like "I'm 13, I used to hate bananas and now I like them...how can I know for sure I'm even gay?"

Anyways, so I'd just come out to my bff but then high school started - and I'm not sure if y'all know this but high school in 2012 was extremely heteronormative. My school wasn't anti gay or anything, but there's a lot of unconscious pressure from your peers to be in relationships, and when you're one of what, three gay people? you kinda can't be in a relationship ya know? So me, who was already questioning my self knowledge, decided that I must be bisexual instead of gay. And I dated like 3 people just in my first year lmao (all dudes of course).

Well, at the end of grade nine some really bad shit happened to me. Someone older than me who I trusted and considered a friend decided it would be cool to drug me and then try to get me to have sex with them in the "secret hallway" at our school. ANYWAYS not the point!!! The point is that after that, I labelled myself asexual and basically swore off sex forever.

The thing was, I kept on developing crushes on the girls in my classes. And every time that happened, I would force myself to ignore it and then I would go and flirt with some guy instead, because I might have been interested in both but who wants to be that one weird girl who flirts with girls that don't want to be flirted with? I certainly didn't. But guys we're always so easy, idk, they were all pretty desperate back then. Lmao that sounds harsh but I stg it's true. 15/16 yr old boys are like a whole nother level of thirsty.

I continued to develop crushes on girls, and have meaningless relationships with guys. I even briefly had a flirtationship with a girl in grade 10 (I went to a different high school for like a semester) which lasted a whole week lol. And then in 11th grade I had a relationship with my best friend at the time, who was a guy I'd been really good friends with since 5th grade. And it was both super easy and super hard, if that makes sense? I knew him well and we were really comfortable with each other - but I was also a lesbian pretending to be bisexual, so every time we did anything remotely sexual it was like totally ew.

We tried to have sex, but my vagina was like "ahaha bitch you thought" so that never happened. I actually tried to have sex two other times with two other guys after that, and each time my vagina was not having it. It was an instance of my body knowing me better than my mind, but I didn't want to listen.

Then this past fall, I decided to go out with this guy I worked with. It had been uh, wow, 2 years since my last relationship, and tbh even though I wasn't interested in dating him at all I felt like it might as well happen. Basically that John Mulaney joke about how adult life is already so goddamn weird. Also, after being single for that long my fam was getting pretty annoying with all the "when are you going to get a bf" shit so yeah, basically I caved to the pressure and went out with this guy Richard.

We went on maybe four dates, and it was so incredibly underwhelming that after not seeing or hearing from him for a month after the job ended, he called me and I was like "Richard who?"

Guys. I had legit forgotten about him. Completely, like he'd been erased from my mind, that was how insignificant he was. But it made me start to wonder; how can this guy, who I'd tried to have sex with, be so meaningless to me? Why am I so indifferent?

I sat down with myself, and took the time to have a long look at the parts of me I'd always kept hidden away. I came to the realization that I wasn't bisexual, that I'd never been bisexual, and that I am actually gay as fuck. Part of this realization was me letting myself rediscover my super gay love for Lily Tomlin. She is one of my fav actresses and her movie All Of Me was my favourite film for half my life. But because I was so busy forcing myself to be Not Gay™, I'd made myself ignore her, and a lot of other female actresses and celebrities who I adore in exchange for male celebrities.

But even after I made the realization that I'm gay and not bi, a part of my brain was like "but what if you're not tho". There was still a big part of me that was trying to force me back into denial, force me into hiding from myself. A part of me thought "if I'm gay, wouldn't someone have noticed? Wouldn't my family have known?" In hindsight it was actually super obvious, but I guess I did a good job of hiding it from myself and everyone around me.

It took me three weeks to actually say the words "I'm a lesbian" out loud to somebody other than myself, and when I did it was the scariest fucking thing I've ever done. My sister was really amazing about it though, and I'm so grateful to her for that. And after telling her, after forcing myself to say it to another human being, the part of my brain that was trying to get me to lie to myself got a little smaller.

When I told my mom a few days later, it was slightly easier to say out loud, and when I changed my bios on my social media (which I'd been avoiding like the plague) my need for self denial shrunk again. But it's still there, in a corner of my mind. The little voice of self doubt, trying to convince me that I'm wrong, that I can't be gay, that I should keep hiding.

That's why I needed to tell y'all this. Because the more people I tell, the more times I say it out loud, the more I make it known - the smaller that voice gets. The less power it holds over me. The more real the truth, my truth, becomes.

My name is Mara, I am 20 years old and I am a lesbian. Now you know my truth.

[rnaryjune]

OH HELL YEA CAST LIST TIME

let’s do some (inevitably wrong) first impressions, shall we?

(following is based on cast bios ONLY, haven’t watched any interviews

Steve: he’s either a derrick or a glenn and it’s a little hard to say which but im leaning towards glenn. that being said i agree with the whole “don’t have a strategy thing” because he’s right, this show can be too unpredictable. however, should have at least *some* outline about what he wants to do. wanna say he’s gonna make it at least to week 2

Sam: YOOOOOOOO WHY SHE GOT THE “I NEED TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER” HAIRCUT SHE’S ONLY 27 SHE’S TOO YOUNG FOR THAT. i get the distinct feeling mom won’t like her which means i almost certainly will. i like her strategy because. same. but also im intrigued that she called the show a social experiment cause like....it’s been so long since anyone’s really seen the show in that way. it’s kinda nice tbh. anyway imma keep an eye on her.

Haleigh: WHY DO I SUDDENLY HAVE AARYN FLASHBACKS OH HELL NO SHE THINKS DERRICK WAS *CUTE* ARE YOU *SHITTING ME* like okay imma feel bad if she’s actually decent but i mean. she’s from texas. and she likes derrick. which is the safest fucking choice man come ON. she’ll make it to jury before being backstabbed by an all-guy alliance tbh. sidenote: chainsaws and crossing the street are absolUTELY reasonable fears tbh.

Kaycee: okay i immediately wanna like her but why the hell is a pro football player in this game like what do THEY need the money for. i mean it’s not as bad as fr*nkie grande but still. well anyway she’s gonna be one of those women you THINK is gonna kick ass at physical comps but ends up giving it up to the guys who end up backstabbing her and HANG ON WAIT SHE LIKES *CODY*? FUCKING MCFUCKWAD *CODY*? OH HELL NO okay tbf if she just means from a game standpoint like. i *guess* but also there are just. so many other ppl u could choose cody is weak sauce as a choice. ALSO HOLD UP SHE GAY? THIS GIRL IS A ROLLERCOASTER FIRST I LIKE HER THEN I DON’T IDK IM SO ON THE FENCE WITH HER. then again mom probs won’t like her so im kinda obligated to ka;dshflkasdhflksadfk

Tyler: oh BOY. HE SAID HE’S “QUESTIONABLE” KHSALFHADSFLKA oh lord i can already tell ppl are gonna stan him cause he named victor zach and dan as his faves and like. maybe one outta three is good lmaoooo. (victor was okay i *guess* but zach? pfffffffffffft) im sorry it’s a no from me im not feeling it. curious to see if he’s gonna be sweet or if he’s a complete ditz.

Bayleigh: bayleigh and haleigh alright sure bbcasting. “i call ppl out irl” oh hell. she’s not gonna last. im sorry i wish she would but i already see them picking on her and sending her out. i really really really wanna be wrong but like do u SEE another black woman in the house. uggggggggggggggh not looking forward to the ugly shit they’re gonna say this season. fucking hell casting can u be more diverse pls im so tired of just seeing y’all fill spots with the usual suspects. anyway bayleigh has a sweet smile and i love that she chose donny as her fave; unfortunately ppl who choose donny never seem to make it far.

Kaitlyn: a life coach oh brother. “im gonna use my messages from my guides” oh LORD. okay she might be nice but she ain’t gonna last. honestly so far i think she’s gonna be the first to go.

Winston: this the one mom is probs gonna like (actually come to think of it maybe tyler too). he writes love notes to his dog? oh mom’s definitely gonna love him. KHAEIFHAEOFSFDL okay ryan reynolds i can kinda see but justin timberlake? who the hell saw THAT. anyway hard to read him but imma say a tentative yes cause i see potential

Angie: oh LORD. i shoulda known she liked joey cause soon as i saw her i was like well there’s joey sdajlhslhsdfl. she’ll get on with kaitlyn. maybe try and do an all-girls alliance? but like. ya gotta win comps to pull anything off. and i don’t see it. might actually be the first to go. next.

JC: holy SHIT i can’t tell u how glad i am he said he liked josh and not fr*nkie or zach. mom is almost certain to not like him so i gotta. do i think he’ll last? proooooobably not but we shall see.

Brett: okay no THIS is the one mom’s gonna like. oh my god he’s an IDIOT HE FUCKING SAID “TROPHY” TO DESCRIBE HIMSELF DJLAHODFHAEOIFEOIF MAYBE HE’S JUST CONCEITED IDK. vehement is a good word but like hmmmm not sure it’s a great character descriptor. oh god yea he IS conceited i HATE him so yea mom’s def gonna like him.

Angela: oh she gonna get with brett. she sees herself in rachel @god pls i would be so down for a rachel 2.0. anyway aside from her shit taste in men because im calling it now she’s gonna get with brett, i think i like her. she’s probs gonna be the worst woman this season tho lol

Scottie: hello oddball man u will never be dentist johnny though. oh man this guy’s gonna be annoying as hell. he likes evel dick which...i know y’all hate him and i understand why but i’ll be damned if he isn’t one of the most iconic players. anyway im fine with that hOWEVER IDC UR A 26-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN HE JUST WANTS TO GET SOME TAIL which actually he might with kaitlyn idk. anyway pass.

Faysal: i kinda like him but idk how well he’s gonna do. once again hard to read but i see potential.

Rachel: SPEAKING OF RACHEL 2.0. AND SHE’S ACTUALLY A VEGAS PERSON OMFG. oddly enough she likes britney oh man this is great yea sorry she’s top of my list just because i really really want her to be good and she probably won’t be bUT

Chris: gotta disagree that derrick is better than paul but aside from that i mean. he’s kinda right wrt paul? like would i say top 5? ...probably not but paul WAS a good player. a shitty person but a good player. do i think he was “robbed” of the half million? no dude blew up his own game TWICE he got what he deserved he’ll be okay. anyway. DUDE I ALWAYS WANTED TO BRING A NOTEBOOK IN THE HOUSE TOO BLESS. okay yea no i like him i think he’ll be underestimated and tbh i really wanna see him go far.