#I don't care about making sense we die on this hill

[holyguardian]

@soldier-lodbrok | convoluted raise my dottir AU

Their escape had been miraculous in more ways than one. The fact Professor Hojo's swarm of workers hadn't sniffed out Faz's escape plan, the fact Faz himself hadn't intercepted them in their desperate run from the Sector 4 container yard, the fact they skirted detection long enough to be welcomed into the home of Elmyra Gainsborough for a short respite.

Truthfully, much of that evening had been spent confiding her sorry tale to Elmyra. Without her painkillers there would have been little sleep regardless.

The following morning, Elmyra disappeared for a time. Nervous that she had decided to approach Shinra with information about the escapees in her home, Ifalna prepared for a discreet departure... only to meet Elmyra herself at the doorstep. She gifted them an adventure fund, she called it, when the reality was she had gifted them a future.

Elmyra went on to help them through to Sector 6, where a discreet crack in the wall acted as a funnel for thugs and other such ruffians to transport illicit goods into Midgar's metal dome. She asked if they were going to be alright on their own. Ifalna replied they had to be. Aerith promised to write to her every single day.

Part of their good luck stemmed from Shinra's own war. The ongoing conflict in Wutai meant most resources had been pulled from the undercity. What was once a densely guarded, or monitored population had been all but left to their own devices.

As with all good luck though, it was bound to run out. That was what Ifalna believed when she and her daughter came face to face with someone in Shinra attire on the other side of the wall. She froze upon seeing him — her fear plain to see as she gripped onto Aerith's shoulders and pulled her in close. This was tragically unfair.

"My darling..." she spoke quietly to Aerith. Her fingers tightened a little more, though her grip was weak. She was a frail husk of what she had once been, so much life had been robbed of her. The command lingered on her tongue, to make her daughter run back to the kindly woman.

[rocketbirdie]

YOU. You are correct about Cloud Strife. Everything you say about him is CORRECT

Hi I'm going to use your ask as an opportunity to go on an unhinged tangent about him below the cut.

I believe that EVERYTHING about Cloud Strife as a character makes total sense once you realize: it's autism.

Here's a character whose entire arc revolves around the erosion of his identity and his desperate attempts to adhere to an ideal image, at the expense of his own wellbeing; and how self acceptance is the thing that brings him back from the edge of despair.

Youtube theorycrafters waste hours of their lives trying to piece together Cloud's psyche, when the answer is just... autism. It really is that simple. I will die on this goddamn hill.

In Trace of Two Pasts, we learn that even as a toddler, Cloud really was just... like that. Unemotive and awkward. And the entire lifestream sequence in the OG shows us a young Cloud who behaves in baffling ways. Tifa and her friends invited Cloud into their group, but he rejected their friendship while simultaneously harboring a seething jealousy. How the heck does that work, huh?

Viewing this through the Autism Lens™️, his approach make way more sense. Fearing his own inability to read and reciprocate their intentions, he pushes them away, and the resulting loneliness crushes him. He mistakes that loneliness for anger. He turns that anger outwards and gets into fights. Because the other kids don't understand him, Cloud sees them as stupid and immature. It's the perfect recipe for disastrous distrust. The tragic result is that, when Tifa gets into her accident, Cloud is immediately blamed by kids AND adults. He's seen as inherently dangerous and unpredictable, even though he did nothing wrong. It's like they were already looking for the perfect excuse to hate him.

The worst part is, because he struggles to articulate his own thoughts and feelings, he starts to just... accept what other people say about him. He's a pain in the ass. He's a selfish brat. He could try being a bit nicer. Any attempt that he makes to argue, backfires and proves their points even more. He's being childish. He needs to get his shit together. Nothing's ever good enough for him. He stops fighting it and lets people drag him around and violate his boundaries, because no matter how loud he yells or how intelligently he argues, nothing he says ever reaches their ears. He trims away more and more of himself to try and appease others and nurse the constant emotional pain. (And that's not even addressing the entire traumatic *waves hands* everything that he's gone through by the time he reaches Midgar! That would have to be its own tangent lol.)

It's hard to watch as a player; the secondhand embarrassment of Cloud's social blunders is immense. Some people don't like Cloud as a video game protagonist, which is perfectly valid. But a lot of times, they justify their opinion by perpetuating the same damaging language. He's an asshole, he's a weirdo, he hates people. The irony would be hilarious if it wasn't so frustrating. I know Cloud is just a fictional character, he doesn't need to be defended from harsh criticisms. But I can't help but wonder what these players think about the "weird people-hating assholes" that they meet in real life.

It also makes me wonder if they were even paying attention. I think the games make it pretty damn obvious what's going on. He's an asshole because other characters treat him like one before they even get to know him. He hates people because he doesn't understand them, and they don't even try to understand him. He's a weirdo because he has a strange way of showing how deeply he loves and cares, and he's afraid that his love will be misinterpreted like every other emotion he's ever dared to show.

The autism is everywhere. It permeates his entire being. It's in his silly responses when he takes things too literally. It's in his painfully practical way with words. It's in the stiff expressionless look and the flat tone of voice. It's in him constantly adjusting his gloves, shifting his weight, looking down at his feet. It's in his questionable idea of what you're supposed to do with your body at a yoga session. It's in the half a dozen flustered high fives, it's in the motion sickness. It's in the contagious eagerness with his special interests in SOLDIER and materia and chocobos.

It's in the moments where the facade crumbles and we get to see the real Cloud, the one that Aerith knew was in there— the one that Tifa finds in the lifestream— the one that Zack gave his life for— the Cloud that cherishes the whole world. He's got so much of everything inside of his heart, and he doesn't know how to get it out. You'd be a weird asshole about it, too.

[andy-wm]

I don’t think this is what he meant especially because Namjoon said he gets how he feels and shook his hand after. We all know Namjoon is single for a while now after going through a nasty breakup. Jimin and Jungkook’s bond is precious even though it’s now clearly not romantic.

He also said “Although I feel this way it’s not sad…” when speaking about Who. I think Jimin is strongly indicating that he has been single for a while. We should really take his words for what they are rather than trying to twist them into a narrative that makes jikook romantic. In the context of everything he said earlier in the video up until the Who talk it seems that he created Who to have the direct message of searching for his person. He was speaking about the song when he said that he felt this way. Not having those butterflies is what he is referring to when he says he feels flat, not sad but not exciting. Even if currently platonic jikook have a precious bond.

Imo these three sentences sums up MUSE and WHO perfectly instead of those essays wanting to connect it to jikook because we want them to be real :

https://x.com/jkyoongs/status/1814588120291287475

This is exactly what he told, meant and going through when he created this album. It's sad Jikook is not involved romantically but they still have a great bond given their trips and now enlistment but if Jimin is saying he's single without even feeling butterflies to fall in love then we have to accept that guys.

Hey Anon, thanks for this ask. Its so great to interact with someone who disagrees with me but doesn't have a huge chip on their shoulder about my views.

And honestly i can see that there are many ways to look at this situation.

Nobody can without a doubt claim they are romantic partners, just like nobody can without a doubt claim they are not. You and I have differing perspectives based on what we see and how we interpret it. We probably have different ways of seeing the world and different experiences of love.

And if one day we all find out that they were really just friends, I’ll shake your hand and, without screaming or crying, I'll accept that i was wrong. I hope you would do the same.

But right now, I don't think I am wrong on this.

Looking at the whole picture it seems to me that they are very much still romantic partners.

More like an old married couple with complicated and busy lives, but

Clearly still very focused on each other.

Clearly delighted with each other.

Clearly care deeply for each other.

Clearly spend a lot of time together despite being so busy.

Clearly attracted to each other.

Clearly physically comfortable with each other.

That's how i see it.

Am i prepared to die on the hill that their relationship is romantic? No, because I can't possibly know for absolute certain. Same reason i dont believe in god (although i think Jikook is more plausible than an old guy sitting in the clouds watching humanity like he's playing The Sims, just quietly... and yes bring on all the anon haters who are gonna want to thrash me because i'm an atheist).

But on the balance of evidence I'd say ...

they're still together.

Lets talk about MiniMoniMusic.

As for the Minimoni video, Jimin was there to talk about the album. It wasn't a conversation about his personal life.

He talked about not having excitement in his life, about his life being bland, and empty after suspending group activities. They hadn't been active as a team, and he was working really hard. It was a long time since he felt excited about something.

That sense of excitement was compared to having a crush and confessing his feelings. He said he can't remember the last time he felt that way, and the journey of MUSE was to make him feel excited again.

Tracks 1-5 were exploring the exciting emotions, like you would have when you're crushing on someone. That euphoria, the fizz in your belly, the high energy etc. That's what excitement feels like.

The crush conversation... This is the part that's throwing everyone.

He said he couldn't even remember the last time he had a crush, and Joon says I know how you feel and he and Joon laughed about that.

If it was because they've both come out of long term relationships (and we know Joonie's breakup was traumatic) why would they laugh?

They weren't laughing about being single, they were laughing about being OLD.

Remember what came next ... Jimin says the youngest in his band is really young so Jimin asked him about how a crush feels:

"Give me something since you're the youngest"

Because having a crush is something teenagers feel.

Jimin and Joon feel old, like they are a bit past having crushes. I believe that's what they're saying. And honestly, when was the last time you heard 30 year old men talking about their crush?

A crush and a long term romantic partner are two very different things.

At no point did he say he wasn't in a relationship.

+++++++++++++++

Edited to add a better translation of 'crush' , being one sided/unrequited love.

I'm not deleting what i originally posted because the reason jimin asked Evan is based on his youth.

+++++++++++++

One more thing i need to add...

In my experience, it's very difficult to go from being in a long term relationship to being platonic besties with your former romantic partner. It takes a LOT of work, and it requires energy, effort, and very carefully maintained boundaries.

Jimin & JK don't look like they're maintaining boundaries to me.

Based purely on the recent footage - the Are You Sure teaser they released - I see no sign of clear boundaries. Even in the Minimoni conversation Jimin says they drink and talk for 3-4 hours and it gets DEEP. That's a recipe for disaster with a former lover.

It also usually requires substantial time apart - YEARS maybe - to reset the relationship so you can be best friends without falling into old habits. We aren't talking high scool boyfriends who get the odd hour alone together here. We're talking months and months abroad in hotel rooms with nothing to do except listen to Lana Del Rey and... eat bread (apparently) 🤣🤣

Ok look, that last part was a tongue in cheek joke but they have spent YEARS under the same roof with zero reason not to be in each others bed, pants, shower, and anything else that sounds fun.

So honestly I don't buy the 'used to be lovers but now good friends' argument.

Those boys are comfortably intimate to such a level they don't know where one of them ends and the other begins.

[rendomski]

Crosshair and Hunter are very good bros

They are, and I don't even need to die on this hill, season 3 backs me up solidly.

But back in season 1, one can only imagine Crosshair's pain when he comes back to his senses. I support the most popular opinion that Crosshair's chip was removed after his injury on Bracca. So, he wakes up and realises that he has been under brutal mind control since the order was issued. He was forced to do atrocious things for the Empire and, most painful for him, to gun for his brothers. And he also realises that his brothers, knowing that he was not in control of his actions, abandoned him and didn't try to get him back or even contact him. Betrayed him and almost killed during their encounter on Bracca. A whole separate essay can be written speculating why Crosshair chose to throw in his lot with the Empire after he got his chip out. But even after choosing the Empire, he wants to get his brothers back, convincing himself that this is the best option for them all. He's hurt and angry, but he wants to forgive them and take care of them, as he sees it. Because Crosshair is a good bro.

***

However, if we go back to his brothers and to Hunter first and foremost, for during this period the squad follows his lead unconditionally, paradoxically, Hunter is a very good bro, too.

Gif credits @werentloyaltome

First of all, many fans tend to assume that Hunter understands the impact of chips as fully as they do. And I don’t see how Hunter could have had this understanding until Bracca.

He was told several times that Crosshair's actions were influenced by the chip, true. And with hindsight, the influence was undeniable. Crosshair's aggression, his insistence on following the orders. Oh, boy, it is painful to watch how Crosshair himself grimaces every time his brothers ask him, “Since when?”; he gets so confused. But, grudgingly though, he obeyed Hunter, he fought alongside his brothers, he trusted them as always—the way he doesn't flinch when, in the midst of their argument, Hunter pulls out his blaster and shoots down the spy probe.

So, Crosshair was very lucid and making his choices the last time Hunter saw him—before Crosshair was escorted away from the cell (need I remind Hunter's reaction then?). And then Crosshair comes back, heading a squad of stormtroopers, trying to order his brothers around, shooting Wrecker, and fully intent to go after everyone else. While I feel very sorry for Crosshair, from Hunter's point of view, it must have looked like a betrayal, plain and simple.

And here Hunter presents himself as a very good and loving bro. I can't imagine myself not being furious at my brother or at any person who used to be close to me but who would act towards me and my family like Crosshair did. And Hunter, while obviously hurt and avoiding talking about Crosshair, still voices his emotions as ‘angry at myself’, first and foremost. Still listens to all the arguments and debates about the chips. True, Hunter cuts them short, but he is responsible for setting their priorities. Basic survival first, risky future plans later.

Here's, actually, the second argument why I'm more or less sure Hunter does not understand the full extent of chips’ influence until Wrecker's chip activates. Taking into account his cautious nature, he and Echo, too, would be beside themselves with alarm if Hunter did understand the danger. And Hunter acts as if he totally relies on Tech’s seemingly casual remark, like, yeah, we know about the chips, but they don't work in us, nothing to worry about.

So, to sum up: Hunter has no idea that Crosshair’s chip was modified to strip him of the remains of his free will and that Crosshair wasn't in control of his actions.

Tech and Omega, not Hunter, are the only two persons in the Batch who know more or less about the chips, their function and the potential force of influence. Hunter doesn't take Omega's words for face value yet. As for Tech, I have two versions of why he doesn’t push the subject of the chips more insistently. One possibility is that Tech thinks it is obvious. Another—and which I like better—is that he, with all his calm logic, doesn't see the point in freaking Hunter out while they can do nothing about it anyway. He just makes constructing the scanner his top priority. It fits well with the canon(?) fact that Tech is the second oldest in the Batch; he just silently (well, as silently as he manages) takes on his share of responsibilities.

Following this line of reasoning, the Hunter and the rest of the Batch run into Crosshair mere hours after all of them finally understand the full, overwhelming nature of mind control induced by the chip. But Crosshair afterwards assumes Hunter knew it all along but still didn't come back for him. Oh, the elegant confusion, worthy of a classic tragedy! The writing in season 1 was so good!

***

I see passionate Crosshair's fans blaming Hunter even for leaving Crosshair to die on Bracca. Somehow forgetting that Hunter left Bracca injured, barely conscious, and having no idea how their counteraction against Crosshair's attempt to kill them backfired (literally) on Crosshair himself.

The only occasion when I’m really mad at Hunter is their encounter on Ryloth. Hunter has not even considered retrieving Crosshair here as an option, seeing him only as a danger. Here, Hunter can't even be justified by his trademark cautiousness, since soon after he agrees to go along with helping Hera, choosing to help a stranger instead of giving a chance to his brother.

I get the counterarguments, Crosshair is not an easy target to be simply retrieved. Still, they all have received the same training and could give it some thought at least. I can think of the arguments explaining Hunter's choice, I know similar situations when you misplace your responsibilities and hurt people close to you. Still, understanding does not take the blame off Hunter's poor, tired head. And when Hunter meets Crosshair next time, it’s a little too late for Crosshair just to accept his offer to come back.

Both pay their price in the end: Crosshair going through his trials and tribulations, and Hunter losing their brother in an attempt to get their family reunited.

Again, I see fans on both sides arguing that their conflict was resolved too easily, with not enough tears, regrets, and apologies. All things considered, yes, they may have ended up estranged and bitter in the end. But I was so ecstatic to see them sort things out and reconcile without inflated emotional drama.

Because Crosshair and Hunter are simply very good bros.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

re your commentary on swifts feminism

her song the man has always bothered me particularly how it's been labeled and used as some "feminist anthem" when it's not about feminism. she literally says she'd rather replace the man on top and get to get away with all the bad behaviors men do, "if a was a man" means she'd be the one "flashing dollars and getting bitches and models", being a baller and not a "bitch", and referencing leo dicaprio also feels weird to me given his track record of throwing female partners away the second they hit age 25. if it was really about feminism it'd be a song about getting rid of that structure entirely, not having anyone in a position above someone else especially to abuse wealth and social power but instead it's over three minutes of her wishing she could be in that position instead

Hello! Apologies this took me a whole week to get to <3. I totally agree with on "The Man"(2019) though. This song is such a snobby, classless disgrace.

I always forget that people really believe that to be a feminist anthem… and I just don't understand how people think that?

It's not a song about disrupting the patriarchy. Taylor Swift is singing about climbing the corporate ladder, and wishing, simultaneously, that she was privy to male privilege.

Like she's already privileged, and yet she's singing about wanting even more privileges…. LOL

Swift is not a feminist and I will literally die on this Hill. She's not even a LGBT ally either- but that's a post/rant for another day.

She cares about exactly one thing- herself. Absolutely nothing in any of her songs that she markets as feminist music takes about issues facing women as a whole- or even extends empathy towards other women. All of it is so completely self-centered.

Especially, "The Man."(2019) I'm sorry, Miss Swift, but as a real feminist, I really have no desire to replace men at the top of the hierarchy- I want to destroy the hierarchy.

Also, since you're giving me the opportunity to talk about this, can we talk about how gross this line is: " and they would toast to me, let the players play/ I'd be just like Leo in Saint-Tropez" First of all, she's saying that if she was the man she would be applauded for sleeping around so much, and if she was a man she could be like Leonardo Dicaprio who famously refuses to date anyone older than 25?

Like she's really out here repackaging sexist power imbalances, ones that encourage the objectification of other people, in romantic relationships and singing about how she wishes she could do that without being called out? She's romanticizing Leo's creepy dating life, as perpetually single yet using young girls like accessories, and yet in all of her other songs she is crying about how much she wants to get married and be "pushing strollers." Make it make sense.

Also, uhhh… the men are also called out for being creeps? Why would we stop doing that if gender roles were suddenly reversed?

My aim with feminist activism is to destroy gender roles altogether…

Anyway. She's a fraud.

And you have brought up a remarkably good observation in her music- because this theme extends out well past just "The Man" (2019).

God this song makes me so mad- How does she get away with selling this shit as Feminism??????????????????? She's probably never read a feminist text in her life.

I have this ongoing theory that her idea of "feminism" is just being able to climb the corporate ladder. Like she's just so clearly only imaginative when it comes to business. She really should have just focused on becoming a businesswoman, because she's certainly not a poet or a feminist.

[max1461]

Ok, here's the hill I'm gonna die on: I hate the concept of "chores". I hate it both in the context of parenting, and in the context of romantic relationships. A "chore" is something that you do because you were made to do it by an authority figure. Nobody likes that, and rightly so. But, living in an imperfect world as we do, there are various tasks that need doing. And when we care about each other, helping with these tasks and seeking help with these tasks are some of the most significant things we can do to show it. I think all our thinking around "chores" should flow from that.

Like, if you are a parent, bringing your kids in to help with the Very Important Tasks that the grow-ups do can be presented like an offer, not a command. The kid gets to help! They get to participate! They get to be needed! That feels good, and teaches them skills they'll need when fending for themselves later in life. It's not a chore that you must do, it's "come help mommy and/or daddy with this Important Grown-up Business". In my experience, most kids like that kind of opportunity. And not only does this give them practice helping others, it also teaches them that it's ok to ask for help, and that tasks are things which are often best approached as a team.

Yes, probably kids are still sometimes not going to want to participate. To me this is a heartening thing, however inconvenient it may be in the moment—I like when kids feel the strength to advocate for their own desires—but, you know, sometimes tasks still need to be done, so handle this how you will. But just not presenting things as "chores" from the get-go is I think a good place to start.

As for "chores" in relationships... I do get how, ya know, if a relationship partner says "you need to start doing more chores around here" or something, that could feel bad. Because, it's like, they're framing themselves as an authority figure who gets to assign chores; that would feel bad to anybody! But at the same time it's like, ok—life is full of tasks that need doing, as mentioned above. And if you love and care about someone, if you claim to have their back, shouldn't you want to help ease the load of all those fucking tasks they're burdened with? Isn't that a big part of what caring for someone is all about?

Relationships require labor, and figuring out how to set up an equitable distribution of labor in a relationship can be a genuinely hard problem. Especially if one or both partners are disabled, and things like that. I can't tell you how to do that for you and your situation. But I think a good place to start from is both partners thinking of it like "I care about you, so I want to help you with all these tasks, I want to help make your life easier". Not as, you know, "these are all the chores I/they have to do". That's why it's actually important for both partners to put in their fair share of labor in a relationship. Not because either is an authority figure who has the ability to assign "chores" to the other, but because when two (or more) adults have decided to live together and be committed to each other and face life together, they should be working to make each other's lives better and not worse, taking care of each other, and cooperating to fight The Tasks together is generally a pretty fundamental part of that.

And if your partner isn't helping you with The Tasks, it's not that they're a disobedient child who won't do chores, it's that they're an adult who's meant to be your ally in life but who isn't living up to all the responsibilities of that role, isn't helping take care of the things that need doing. And that's not a fair or compassionate way to treat someone that you're supposed to be a partner to.

Idk if any of that makes sense. I just don't like the concept of "chores" ok. We're all oppressed by The Tasks and helping each other with The Tasks is one of the most important ways we reach out, connect, show love and affection, and express our responsibilities and commitments to each other. I just don't think there's ever a case where it's good to frame it as "chores".

[dee-morris]

I Think We Moved on Too Quickly from Coffee Theory

Yeah yeah I know. But hear me out.

When I watched the season two finale the first time, I felt blindsided by it. From a narrative perspective it made sense, bc Neil Gaiman said that he needed to set up the situation that would make season three possible and okay yeah, that probably meant putting Crowley and Aziraphale in weird and different places. I got that. But from a character perspective it felt like a huge reversal from Aziraphale's behavior throughout season two, and of course that led me to look for outside factors that could have caused it.

After talking about it with Internet friends, reading lots of metas, thinking and discussing and watching the season over again, I decided that it wasn't necessary to believe that Aziraphale had been drugged. Most of what he said and did could be explained by careful study and analysis. Once you realize that Metabitch's presence in the bookshop is a veiled threat, everything else falls into place.

Nevertheless.

I definitely DO NOT Believe that Aziraphale was brainwashed or mind controlled by the coffee. His behavior during the Final Fifteen was frenetic, desperate, little bit manic. Definitely not the behavior of a mindless zombie. But nevertheless.

I still think that there was too much emphasis on the coffee for it to be a simple prop. Is it a literal macguffin or a symbolic one, that I'm not sure. I could see it either way. It might be just a symbol of the Sophie's Choice that Aziraphale had been presented with, or... There might have actually been something in the coffee.

The show makes a point of telling us that celestials can be affected by human poison. Almonds are symbolic in the Bible, and cyanide smells like almonds. Again, Aziraphale's behavior at the breakup scene was not that of a brainwashed person, but what if the Metatron TRIED something like that and it didn't completely work?

Aziraphale didn't want to follow the Metatron until after he drank the coffee. And even then he turned and looked at Crowley, and he didn't move until Crowley told him to go ahead. (Cue the Breaking Bad Walter Screaming in the Car meme) What if whatever the Metatron tried on Aziraphale only kind of worked? Just enough to make Aziraphale a bit dizzy and suggestible, but being close to Crowley mitigated the worst of it. That's why Metatrash needed to separate them.

Aziraphale is very clever, and if he knew he'd been drugged he would also know better than to let on that it hadn't worked completely. Cue the weird off-key phrases that are ALMOST in character but still pretty damn weird. "Heaven is the side of goodness, of light" my dude has NEVER said anything like that. He's said that about God, yes, but he's always held a distinction between God and heaven. Or "you're the bad guys" that's just WEIRD, that's a weird thing for him to say, and I will die on this hill. Even during their worst fights Aziraphale has made distinctions been himself and Crowley in terms of their job descriptions, but he's never made a moral judgement like that before, nor has he ever lumped Crowley in with the rest of hell. "They're the bad guys," now that would have made sense, and if it were anyone but Neil Gaiman running this shit I would think that it was a simple scripting error. But Neil doesn't make mistakes like that.

So Aziraphale plays along and tried desperately to communicate with Crowley that something IS VERY WRONG but our favorite disaster demon picks NOW to get in his feelings and ignore the clear and present danger standing outside the bookshop and staring at them. I'm pretty sure "I forgive you" is Aziraphalese for ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??

Again, I don't need my version of Coffee Theory to be real to understand what happened in the Final Fifteen, but it's just an interesting little toy to roll around in my head. There's so much emphasis on that coffee in the show and even in the episode synopsis, I still think there's something about it that we haven't been told.

[thequeenofsastiel]

I really. Just don't believe Armand would at any point be willing to betray Louis. Not only was Louis absolutely the love of his life, Louis was also the very first Dom that Armand consented to. For someone to sacrifice the person they love is a terrible thing. But for a sub to sacrifice their Dom? Their FIRST Dom? No. I can't begin to express just how meaningless Armand's connection with the coven was to his connection to Louis. Had they been in his life hundreds of years? Sure. But it was not a remotely enjoyable existence for Armand. Armand NEVER wanted to be a leader. But there he was, having to maintain constant control of himself and over a dozen vampires. He would have spent all his time aching inside to submit. And I cannot BEGIN to express how incredibly profound that ache is. I can feel it inside of me right now(yes I have two dominant girlfriends and a Dom, but none of them are my primary and none of them can offer me the 24/7 dynamic I need). It's like it goes all the way down to my very soul. It's a CONSTANT unfulfilled need. It haunts me every day. It's completely unrelated to romantic desires--which I have an abundance of, that's why I'm poly. D/s needs go deeper than I can articulate.

"I could not count on your love lasting as long." Fucking WHAT. He had been MISERABLE in the coven. I think he'd take as long as he could get with Louis instead of an eternity among them. And the idea that he'd do anything other than warn Louis as soon as he could is absurd.

The show gave us a deeply in love D/s couple, and then decided that they would somehow make the sub be willing to betray the Dom. ANYONE who understands ANYTHING about subs would understand why the idea of a sub being willing to betray their Dom for anything is so ridiculous. Especially their first Dom. Especially especially if it's the first and only time they were able to consensually submit to someone. The utter DEVOTION we feel cannot be overstated. We WORSHIP our Doms. I can't BEGIN to state how unlikely it would be for Armand to betray his Dom for anyone or anything. I think he would die first.

This is not an invitation for a debate. I've seen all the arguments, phrased many different ways. I disagree with them all. I'm just stating for the record for myself and my followers that this plot line didn't make even the tiniest amount of sense. Which is why I completely ignore that part of their story. I don't care if it's canon. It's stupid, it doesn't make sense, and I won't engage with it. I engage with Louis and Armand outside of it, because every other thing we're shown about them makes sense. I refuse to entertain the thought that Armand would betray Louis. Yes, I will occasionally use it to analyze their actions in the present, but that's as far as I'm willing to go. Armand would never betray Louis. Ever. For anyone, or anything. And I will absolutely, completely die on that hill. The hill of all hills I will die on.

The only comments and reblogs I want are supportive ones. Negativity will not be tolerated. I know what you're going to say. I disagree with it.

[nectarinesalt]

TICK // 14.1 - only the good die young

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Rating: mature (angst, language, sexual content)

Word Count: 1800

☾

Come out, Virginia, don't let me wait You Catholic girls start much too late Aw, but sooner or later it comes down to fate I might as well will be the one

☾

May 15, 1984 - junior year

That night in February sparked something fierce between you and Eddie.

Winter faded away, blossoming into spring. Hawkins was turning green with life again - birds sang their songs in the trees, snow boots and scarves were stuffed away into the backs of closets. 

But most importantly, Eddie's high school graduation was just over a week away.

You had everything planned out: the party to be held at your house while your father was out of town, the present you carefully picked out for Eddie, the 'congratulations, I'm so proud of you' sex to occur - hopefully multiple times - after the graduation ceremony itself.

As of the last three months, gone were the days where you would hide from Eddie Munson in the hallways. You met up after almost every class, either to talk by your locker or to find a new place to make out on school grounds. 

You would never be the kind of girl to open up to others about the gory details of your relationship, though, and still wanted to maintain your strong sense of privacy. The bond you had with the crazy Munson boy was precious to you. You wanted, needed, to keep it close to your heart.

You were so proud of him. Eddie worked hard to be this close to graduation. Even though, to be honest, he barely skirted by with his grades and reckless behavior. Hell, you were a lucky bitch to still graduate after spitting on a teacher. 

But you were a one-time offender, which Eddie was not. It took some effort on your part to pressure him to attend classes and stay out of trouble.

☾

You mighta heard I run with a dangerous crowd We ain't too pretty, we ain't too proud We might be laughing a bit too loud Aw, but that never hurt no one

☾

Eddie stared at you from across the crowded lunchroom, thinking deeply. 

The students were extra noisy and annoying this week, most likely due to graduation being within such close reach. Eddie Munson didn't care much about it at all. The fact that you cared so much is what solely fueled his high school education at this point.

You were still a junior, going into your senior year after the summer. You would continue at Hawkins High School for another whole year. 

Without him.

He watched you as you sat at a table with Nancy Wheeler and Harrington. You were laughing and gesturing with your hands.  

You always sat with your friends at lunch while Eddie caught up with Hellfire and his bandmates. 

You spent nearly every other night together. Without actually saying it out loud, the agreement to take some healthy time apart from one another was welcomed by both of you. 

…along with the status of your relationship. It really was a relationship, since you began calling him your boyfriend without either of you labeling it as such. Eddie couldn't have been happier to have his arm around your shoulders in the hallways without you running for the hills. 

A comfortable routine settled in, but the excitement of summer break approaching set Eddie's nerves on edge.

Though his life was far from stagnant.

Hellfire Club was fully established, Corroded Coffin was getting ready to book some dive bar shows over the summer, and high school was going to be a thing of his past.

The cherry on top was the woman in his life. You were a wildfire burning in his arms almost every night, a flurry of shaking limbs climaxing in his bedsheets. He loved you, he truly did - though neither of you had said it to each other yet.

He loved it when you bickered with him (which was daily). He loved it when you kissed him (which was daily). He loved it when you made him feel like he was capable of anything, even when everyone else around you seemed to think differently of the strange boy. 

Although Eddie was in the prime of his teenage years, he still couldn't shake his feeling of overwhelming restlessness.

He checked his watch. One hour until noon. His plan was about to be set in motion.

Out of the corner of his eye, you got up from your lunch table and said something to Steve Harrington. Nancy Wheeler, in turn, whipped her head towards Eddie and squinted at him with suspicion. 

Eddie made devil horns on the top of his head, sticking his tongue out at her. Nancy made a face and turned away.

He looked back to you as you were heading towards the rear cafeteria doors. Sneaking a quick glance in his direction, you exited.

Eddie swiftly followed.

☾

And they say there's a heaven for those who will wait Some say it's better, but I say it ain't I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints The sinners are much more fun

☾

"You guys will come to the party, right?" you pleaded. 

Nancy looked at you with apprehension. Steve seemed distracted, staring off into space while picking at the food on his tray. Tommy H. and Carol sat chatting loudly at the other end of the table.

You resorted to begging.

"Please, Nance? It'll be fun, I swear. It's nothing fancy. Just come for a drink or two," you explained, leaning closer to your friend to whisper. "I invited a lot of people, including you-know-who."

It was a fifty-fifty chance that either Nancy was nervous about going because Jonathan Byers would be there, or that she would want to go because Jonathan Byers would be there.

Lightly bumping your leg under the table, she whispered harshly to you, "That doesn't matter."

"Who's 'you-know-who'?" Steve's expression went from bored to vaguely interested.

You already had your answer prepared. "Oh, no one you know. My sister has a crush on this guy in band - she doesn't know he's coming."

"Quite the little matchmaker, huh?" Tommy butted in as Harrington looked away again. "Listen, I don't think we need to go to a party full of band kids and freaks. I bet you even invited Byers, didn't you?"

"So what if I did?" you snapped. Nancy looked anxiously between them, her eyes glancing at Steve every so often.

Carol had to steal the show with her comment, though. "I don't know how you hang out with people like that. Let alone date one. I heard a guy on the basketball team say that Munson worships the devil."

Tommy chimed in. “Does he collect the corpses of small animals?”

You burst out in laughter.

"Carol, I don't date him for his devil-worshiping skills. But thanks for that."

Popping her gum loudly, Carol just shrugged. You put up with these clowns because you saw something in Nance, a deeper friendship lurking beneath the superficial surface. 

Plus, you kind of enjoyed having some shallow friendships, not ever having to divulge your personal life. It was less exhausting that way.

You turned back to Nancy. "Just come for a bit, please? I never ask you guys for anything like this! I've never even thrown a party before - if no one shows, you guys can just drive away and pretend like it never happened."

Surprisingly, Steve responded first. "Fine, we'll go. Right, guys? It'll be fun."

Standing up and grabbing your tray, you stepped away from them. "See? Now that wasn't that hard, was it? Smell you later, Harrington." 

You purposely caught Eddie's eye as you left the cafeteria, knowing all too well that he would trail after you. 

☾

Said your mother told you all that I could give you was a reputation Aw, she never cared for me But did she ever say a prayer for me?

☾

A poorly lit dead-end hallway near the drama classroom was the prime place for devious things to take place. Especially during lunch hour, when everyone was preoccupied with social gatherings.

Approaching your waiting figure from behind, Eddie clasped a warm hand around your mouth. At first, you jumped in surprise, but quickly realized that it was indeed your boyfriend who snuck up on you. His distinct callouses from picking at guitar strings were rough on your skin.

"Well, hello there."

Eddie held you tight, one hand still covering your mouth and the other roaming up your sweater. He could feel giggles rumbling in your chest. 

Backing up against a wall, blocked by some old stage props, you ran your fingers through his hair. His nefarious plan worked; the girl in his arms melted onto him like burning wax.

His hand trailed over your bra-less chest. It was personally one of his most favorite physical things about you. Eddie loved knowing that when you wore loose sweaters, your full, sensitive breasts were just free underneath. Waiting for moments like this.

You gasped when he lifted the sweater, exposing your breasts and grasping them roughly. You might complain to him about the gesture later, but Eddie knew well enough that the hallway was deserted.

In what seemed like your own bit of revenge, you pressed your backside against his already hard cock, pulling at his hair. 

As many times as they had done reckless shit like this before, Eddie didn't think he could ever not lose his mind over it. You were a straight-A student who soaked your panties over public nudity, but you would never actually admit that.

He dropped your sweater. Once he let go of your mouth, you spun around, kissing him and holding your body against his.

"Hi, you."

Checking his watch again, Eddie saw that he still had some time before noon. Time to play before the action began. His nerves tingled at the thought, but he locked those thoughts away to focus on you.

You grabbed his hand as he was looking at his watch and surprised him as you led his hand down the front of your pants.

Eddie knew you inside and out. You had taken the time to learn many things about each other - sexual preferences, sensitive areas. Having you teach him exactly how to please you was something he felt compelled to master just like a new song on his guitar.

So his confidence soared as he touched you in all the right places, rubbing gently, then faster. You held onto his neck and hooked a knee up against his hip, stifling whimpers into his jacket as you crumbled into pieces at his hand.

Sighing, you kissed his jaw. Like the flip of a light switch, you stepped away, adjusting your clothes.

You flashed him a wicked grin as you walked down the hall.

"Thanks for the orgasm, graduate."

Eddie chuckled, rearranging his now very tight jeans. "Not a graduate yet, babe!"

11:36AM.

☾

You know that only the good die young Tell you, baby You know that only the good die young Only the good die young

☾

(song lyrics credit: "Only The Good Die Young" by Billy Joel)

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[ananke-xiii]

There's a line from s11e20 "Don't call me Shurley" that got stuck into my little nogging and it's when Chuck tells Metatron "You were just the closest angel to the door when I walked into the room".

Now assuming that Chuck is a lying liar who lies I still like this line because it says way more about Chuck than about Metatron. Then Chuck goes on and delivers his cheap shot: "There's nothing special about you, Metatron. Not then… not now".

(Little aside: AND THEN Amara comes in a few episodes later and calls Metatron "The secretary"?! I mean, how can people not love her? Yes, she might have eaten a few souls so what? Sue her! He brother has eliminated WORLDS because Dean wouldn't bend the knee to him, who's the crazy sibling, huh? *insert a meta about Dean only willing to bend the knee to Cas in Purgatory and all the entendres intended*).

Anyway, for all his pettiness and shrewdness (Metatron is a great villain and I will die on this hill), Metatron replies with surprising grace:

"And I don't care if I was just the angel nearest the door. You picked me. Your light shined on me – Me! Oh, and the warmth. But then you left me. You left all of us."

My little fragile heart trembled a little to these words because... well, it's like the OG trauma, isn't it? To be chosen by your parents, to be loved unconditionally, to be somebody's favorite person... Oh, the warmth.

And so it hit me, I finally saw why I love SPN's angels so much. They are ALL (Cas included) a bunch of children screaming and kicking their feet because they want to be loved, thinking that if they follow their orders, if they fulfill their duties they will be loved.

They are all Lucifer minus the action and the mark.

These are Chuck's words to soothe Lucifer in "We Happy Few": I did. I was supposed to love all creation equally. I wasn’t supposed to have favorites. But you… You were mine. I gave you the Mark because I loved you the most, because I thought you were strong enough to bear it. And when I saw that I was wrong… When I watched my choice devour my most cherished son, I hated myself, and so I punished you. And I am so sorry."

Yes, Chuck is a lying liar who lies. Maybe he chose Lucifer because he was the one closest to the door. Who knows? Chuck doesn't care. Every angel's deepest desire is to be loved by God, to be the chosen one, to be his favorite. Which is both sad and... human? I guess it's a tragedy from the human perspective but maybe the human perspective is limited.

I don't really like the finale with Jack as God for a variety of reasons but, conceptually, the idea of a half-angel and half-human (Kelly Kline you will NOT be forgotten) becoming god is not that bad (Hello Jesus!). Especially if the half-angel part is theoretically (well in pratice too but I mean biology what amirite?)Lucifer's. Because, as Sam says in "We Happy Few": I-I can’t believe I’m actually about to say this, but… um. Lucifer is right.

At the end of the day, SPN as a narrative, did, in a very convoluted and maybe unintentional way, agree with Lucifer.

Like, Lucifer was right. And I know that if we put on our morality glasses Lucifer is evil incarnate etc but honestly? By the same lensens, the whole heavenly host is kinda evil. They ALL (Cas included) did a lot of pretty horrible stuff. All the horror and the pain for a God that doesn't care.

So I guess what should have been explored in Dabb's era was not so much nurture vs nature but more "what does it mean to be half-angel?" 'Cause really, ALL angels are a little bit like Lucifer. And if no angel really represents "good" what are we, humans, left with? Does the question "nurture vs nature" even make sense?

There's really nothing SPECIAL about any of us, humans, angels, demons, monsters. We ALL want to just be chosen and loved unconditionally. It turns out angels are not that different from humans, aren't they?

[malka-lisitsa]

🙄 ; What are your biggest pet peeves when it comes to tumblr?

I'm gonna get hate for this but fuck it we ball.

purity culture

the idea that you can make an OC out of a canon character but keep the back story and the name and all the connections. That makes no sense that's just saying you dont want to write them correctly and covering your ass-

Portrayal. And how no one fucking cares about it anymore. Everyone is great at what they do and there is NO room for improvements and you obviously dont have to do your character justice when you can just do whatever you want with them instead fuck if it makes sense youre only writing a real character and not an oc but ITS COOL RIGHT? WHY BE GOOD WHEN YOU CAN JUST DO WHATEVER??

I will die on this hill for all eternity, portrayal fucking matters and I refuse to fall into the crowd that supports "do whatever!" culture.

Oc's in canon settings that don't make sense. I remember back when I was in thg fandom people tripped over themselves to make sure their oc matched lore. People researched named winners of what games and they like actually gave a damn about making their oc as canon as possible. Without being needlessly rude that is not a thing anymore :)

people who go out of their way to scream they are super fucking nice just the sweetest ever just the nicest sweetest little bean never has a bad thing to say about anyone super sweet over the top- and its because they are a trash person trying so hard to hide they are a trash person. You look fake. You sound fake. Whoa shocker, you're fake. This is why I have zero problem being real about the things that I say and do. I am the first person to tell you Im a bitch, but im also the first person to step out on the front lines if you need someone. See they're not mutually exclusive I don't need a show to be nice.

the idea that constructive criticism is hate. Just bc you don't like it doesn't mean that someone who said you weren't perfect is sending hate. I saw this a LOT in 2k12 bro people genuinely trying to help got flamed bc god forbid someone improve.

attention seeking on the dash- Excessive "WILL YOU PLEASE LIKE THIS IF YOU LIKE ME AND MY MUSES PLEASE??" Bruh. Stop. If they follow you most likely they like you. Chill or they're probably gonna stop. Self fulfilling prophecy.

the idea that you don't owe anyone an explanation for blocking. If you have written extensively, and been friends for a long time yes tf you do owe an explanation even if its "You pushed my boundaries too often after I told you x thing" and then blocking them. But you owe a friend an explanation. Communicate. Don't be a coward. No sense in ditching a friend when you could idk talk about it but ok. this does not apply to randos.

[ourlordapollo]

EDM REMIX: Battle! (N) - Go Ichinose

Raaahhh this took me forever, but I'm finally done! Still learning how to mix, but I gave it a try!

Credits + details:

Music transcribed by: AnonymousRandomPerson

N's voice lines (Daman Mills)

Zorua and Zoroark cries

But yeah I recently picked up Pokémon White, because BW/BW2 are the only mainline* Pokémon games I haven't played and I figured it was time :) I heard N's theme and really liked the galloping snare, and I thought it would make an excellent buildup in an EDM song, and here we are

I tried really hard to mix this well and unfortunately did not do a good job, but, as they say, perfection is the enemy of success. Hopefully I'll do a little better next time!

*I don't care what anyone at TPC says, P:LA is not mainline and I will die on that hill

Anyway! Idk if anyone will be curious about my process, but might as well make some notes:

So music in video games tend to be made up of loops. Usually there will at least be an A section and a contrasting B section. Because of that, there was no identified "chorus" I could use for the drops.

Since I used the bass line for the buildups, I kind of had no choice to use the long synth/trumpet melodic fragments as the drop. Because N's theme is made up of loops, it was really easy to just kinda Lego pieces together wherever I wanted them

I didn't have a lot to work with which is why this track is kinda "buildup, drop, buildup, drop, end"

That being said, this is not a 1:1 recreation of N's theme because ngl that would make a pretty shitty dance track. It's more like I chopped the loop up and turned it into train tracks, if that makes any sense

Anyway, enjoy!

[naughtyneganjdm]

On the Run - Chapter 13

Summary: The group goes ahead with Bill's plan of action to find out who is trying to kill Y/N, but things don't go to plan.

Characters: Joel Miller (The Last of Us), Negan (The Walking Dead), the reader (OC, third person), Bill (The Last of Us), Frank (The Last of Us), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47007172/chapters/124256413

Warnings: Swearing, angst, violence, etc.

Notes: One more chapter left after this one. Sorry it took a while for me to post this one. I needed to take some time from social media. Thank you you to those who read this!

“I don’t like this,” Negan announced with tension in his tone scooting closer to the desk that featured all of the screens that Bill had set up inside of the surveillance truck that he had. They were all sitting closely together inside of the truck after Bill had instructed them to park it down the street from the address to the warehouse that was texted to him. With the surveillance Bill set up, they could see inside the warehouse, outside and could also watch whatever Bill was seeing from the camera he had hidden on his jacket. Everyone was watching closely in anticipation, not sure what to expect next. “Sending Bill in alone doesn’t feel right.”

“I think Bill is very capable of taking care of himself,” Joel tried to suggest gazing over at Negan from where they were sitting cramped together watching the screens. “This was his whole idea. We know that he can take care of himself.”

“Not to be an asshole, but have you looked at the guy? Compared to you and me I don’t see him being able to hold up against a group of people if he has to,” Negan grumbled under his breath, his face tensing up and showing the visible stress that was flooding through his body. “Bill is the brains, not necessarily the strength.”

“You know I can hear you,” Bill huffed through the earpiece after Negan went off on the whole thing. “There is a reason all of us are wearing earpieces. So everything you are saying, I hear.” 

“We know honey, but you can’t be talking to us. Whoever is meeting up with you is going to think you are crazy,” Frank hushed Negan, waving his hand about while Y/N and Joel scoot in closer to the screens to get a look at everything. “Right now there is no one at the location. So take your time walking because you don’t want to show up early and get bombarded.”

“Now remember your safe word. You use it and the two of us will be there in no time,” Joel coached Bill, sliding in closer to Frank while he surveyed the video that was attached to Bill’s jacket. Deep down Joel knew that Negan was right. Bill going in alone just didn’t make much sense, but Bill insisted. “Negan and I will grab whatever we need. We’ll come in after you.”

“Ten-four,” Bill muttered, his deep breaths filling the air while he walked up the hill toward the warehouse. Every second that passed felt like an extraordinarily large amount of time. “Of course this place had to be on a fucking hill. I’m going to be passing out by the time that I get up there.”

“See what I mean?” Negan whispered letting out a grunt when Y/N smacked at the center of his chest. Throwing his hands up in the air, Negan knew that he wasn’t wrong about this whole thing. Sending Bill in alone was almost a death sentence for this guy if things went wrong and he didn’t want Bill to die.

“You’ve got this,” Y/N emphasized glancing back at Negan who was now surveying the guns they had brought with them. Of course they hoped they wouldn’t have to use them, but she knew that Negan was preparing just in case. Bill had several guns and knives on himself to keep him safe, but she knew that Negan was severely uncomfortable with this whole thing. Reaching her hand out, she placed her hand in over Negan’s knee and caressed over it. The motion made him look to her hand and his jaw flexed in uneasiness. Placing his hand over hers, he hooked their fingers together and swallowed down hard. “Just know we’re right here with you Bill.”

“I’m coming up on the warehouse. This is where I stop,” Bill informed them and Joel’s face was locked on the screen. Coming to a full stop, Bill looked around when he noticed that the parking lot was empty. “I’m still the only one here.”

“It’s not exactly the time yet,” Joel informed Bill looking to his watch that was on his wrist. Clearing his throat, Joel’s foot was tapping about a mile a minute showing his nervousness as well. “Just give it some time Bill.”

“We should have the truck closer,” Negan blurt out feeling tense about the whole thing. It made Y/N’s fingers hook tighter around his and he sighed. “It’s too far away.”

“It’s not that far away Negan. It wouldn’t look right just having a white van sitting there right next to the warehouse when nothing else is around. It’s like a sore thumb telling the person hey look we’re right here, come find us,” Joel responded which elicited a grunt from Negan’s throat. “This is to make sure that we are safe enough away to still get the reception of the video while hiding.”

“Would you two please shut up?” Bill scoffed on his end of the video showing that he was gazing around the area. The sun was starting to set and it was growing darker. “I need to have a clear mind to pull this off and you two bickering is not going to help.”

“We’ll keep them quiet,” Frank promised waving his hand about trying to get both Negan and Joel to shut up. Frank had to focus as well because he was the one in control of everything. Everything that Bill set up for him to be in control of that was. From one of the street cameras Frank could see a truck approaching. “Alright Bill, we have…” seeing that there was more than one SUV made Frank swallow down hard. “You have three vehicles approaching.”

“I told you this was a bad fucking idea,” Negan muttered under his breath, the tension growing in his body when the three large vehicles surrounded Bill. This wasn’t how the plan was supposed to go. They all knew that. Negan knew from the start they were never going to play fair. “Remember Bill, we are right here. You say the word and I will be there before you know it.”

“He’s got this,” Frank assured Negan, waving him down and Negan could feel his heart hammering inside of his chest. Bringing Y/N’s hand up, Negan deposited a kiss over the back of her hand before lowering it back to his lap. Y/N’s life really depended on this whole situation. If it fell through, she would never be safe and they all knew that. “I’m assuming the big dog is in the central car. Just keep your cool and we can get what we need. Easy peezy.”

“Really?” Negan snorted, his hazel eyes gazing over at Frank who gave a small shrug. Grumbling to himself, Negan scoot in closer to the screen, his eyes locked on the camera that was attached to Bill’s jacket. Waiting for the doors to open, Negan let out a shuddering, disappointed breath when a familiar face was revealed. Loosening his grasp over Y/N’s hand, he felt his arm go limp when the face became clearer in Bill’s footage. “That’s Simon.”

“I am so sorry,” Joel whispered knowing that Simon was Negan’s best friend. Upset filled Negan’s hazel eyes and it was obvious he was broken to know that Simon had something to do with this. Honestly? Joel wasn’t as surprised. “It makes sense Negan. It always made sense. After you told him about Poppy? How he sent a cleaning crew instead of someone to help. And then the people at the safehouse? Simon was always the obvious choice.”

“I know, I just…” Negan began finding himself losing the words. Stealing another glance at Y/N he felt guilty. Maybe this was his fault all along that he could never bring himself to believe that Simon was capable of something like this. Damn it, he hated that he was getting emotional over this whole thing, but he was. “I never thought he would do something like this. Not after everything we’ve been through together. I thought we were friends.”

Simon made an elaborate gesture that caught their eye pulling them to look back to the screen. Watching Negan, Y/N could sense that he was shattered to know that the one person he cared about other than her in his life was one of the bad guys. Like Joel, she wasn’t surprised to see his face. She was just curious as to how he made this whole thing happen.

“Are you the guy?” Simon arrogantly questioned pulling his black sunglasses from his face. Dramatically he bobbed his head about and Joel turned to look at Negan who lowered his head into his palm. Seeing Simon at the other end of the feed was hard for Negan to accept.

“I’m the guy,” Bill put emphasis on the word as Simon extended his hand out to Bill. Accepting the shake, Bill was obviously cautious when multiple men got out of the cars. Once their faces became clearer in the video, Y/N had recognized more than a few of the faces. These were all men that worked for Simon when it came to her father. “Are you the guy?”

“I’m not the guy, but I’m a guy,” Simon explained with a snicker throwing his arms up to give an over-the-top shrug.

“What does that mean?” Bill inquired, his voice changing when he gazed around the men that were surrounding him. “I requested that it just be me and the man in charge. This feels a bit much. Don’t you think?”

“For me? Oh yeah. Totally,” Simon reached out to pat Bill on the shoulder giving it a firm squeeze. “Trust me my man, when we go in, it’s just going to be me and two others. We’re waiting on someone else. But the rest of these folks? They are just here to make sure that things go smoothly. See, I didn’t know if I could trust you because I’m not used to fucking hackers getting in my business. You know what I mean?”

“I hate to break it to you friend, but when you offer that kind of money and you send the information out to multiple people you need to learn to hide things better,” Bill responded to Simon’s comment. Snickering, Simon almost seemed amused to hear Bill’s counter.

“Hmmm…just tell me how you actually did it,” Simon urged Bill to explain further, waving his hand in the air wanting more details. “How did you find this whole thing in the first place? You really have to understand how strange it is to be getting a text from someone…a complete stranger telling you that they did what no one else could. You have a gigantic sack for even trying this in the first place.”

“The future governor has a shooting at his house where his child goes missing and you don’t think you’re going to have people interested?” Bill replied in such a way where he didn’t seem worried at all. In fact it impressed Y/N with how good Bill was acting everything out. There was no fear in his voice. Bill seemed bored with the whole encounter. “I dug into everything. I’m a hacker. I was able to find texts, learn about those men that were killed at the first safehouse. You sent out a lot of texts. It wasn’t like you were hiding it.”

“I see,” Simon seemed to be scrutinizing Bill with his gaze.

“You know I know who you are too,” Bill informed Simon showing that he wasn’t afraid or backing down. It made Negan wonder if that was really the right approach to this whole thing.

“Oh?” that peaked Simon’s interest.

“You’re Philip Blake’s head of security, Simon. I guess I should have known that someone on the inside was in charge. It was too convenient,” Bill thought aloud causing Simon’s jaw to tense up while he stared out at Bill with curiosity. “I learned everything I could about Philip Blake and his family. Along with the three that were with Blake’s daughter. Tell me, did you just start to hate your job or…?”

“I thought you know everything,” Simon mocked, his eyebrows bouncing up when Bill took a step back to eye him over. “I mean go ahead. Tell me what you think happened here. I’m dying to hear what your theory is.”

“I never claimed to know everything. I just know more than the average person does,” Bill corrected Simon who gave a small smirk in response. “I just know you work for the man whose daughter went missing. And you were best friends with the big one.”

“Hmm…” Simon hummed in response making Negan tense up from where he was seated in the white van with the others. Instead of acknowledging what Bill said, Simon just folded his arms in front of his chest. The expression over Simon’s face was hard to read. There was no way to tell if Bill was right or not because Simon was giving nothing away. 

“My guess as to why you are doing this? You got sick of working for Philip Blake. You knew how much money he was really worth and you were getting paid scraps. Decided to take things into your own hands. While working for a man like that you are going to have access to all kinds of things and you took advantage of it. Philip had to have gotten rich enemies through the years willing to work with you to take advantage of his running for office and killing his daughter to make a point,” Bill deduced and his theory sounded like it could be right. It made the most sense. “I think your biggest mistake was the country singer. You just weren’t hiring the right people to truly get the job done.”

“Yeah, Half Moon got…carried away,” Simon tipped his head to the side letting out a tense sound when he sucked in a sharp breath of air. “It was a case of someone taking a situation into their own hands. But what I really want to know is how you found Y/N and the two men. They disappeared off the grid. No one saw them. At all and trust me, we were looking. So how did you do it when no one else could?”

“Because I’m not like anyone else,” Bill answered with a smug tone and amusement flooded Simon’s features. His dark eyes were hooked on Bill like a hawk and it was obvious that Simon was absolutely curious about the man that Bill was. “What I’m capable of is quite amazing.”

“A man of mystery, I like that,” Simon stepped forward and wrapped his arm firmly around Bill’s shoulders pulling him toward the front door of the warehouse. “So you just typed some things into your little computer and you were able to find out whatever you wanted?”

Frank shifted his seating when he adjusted to watch the screens where Simon was now walking into the warehouse with Bill and two other people. Like Simon said, the rest of them stayed outside while Simon and Bill walked over toward a container at the center of the warehouse. Simon sat down on top of it and threw his hands up in the air.

“I could find anything I want about anyone,” Bill was honest and they all knew that. Hell, Bill had something on every single one of them. Things that no one really knew, so Bill wasn’t lying to Simon. “After they left the motel, I was able to track their SUV by using traffic cameras. Following them after that wasn’t very hard. They were hiding somewhere in the woods. Thought they would be safe, but my father taught me to hunt when I was a child. I became very good at tracking. Super easy.”

“Look at you, Mr. Smarty Pants,” Simon retorted sucking in a sharp breath of air. “Smarter than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“Well if this goes well, maybe you can hire me on so you can actually get your projects done right,” Bill snorted back and there was an annoyance in his tone. “I don’t really mean to press your buttons here, but if you’re the man in charge I’d really like to get my money now.”

“What’s the rush?” Simon scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air. A dramatic, over the top expression flooded his features before he chuckled. “The money is here big guy. You’re not going to get screwed out of your money.”

“Prove it,” Bill blurt out and Simon chuckled before tipping his head from side to side. Letting out a sigh, Simon got up from where he was seated and headed over to the far wall. Reaching for the large painting that was on the wall, Simon set it down on the ground and pointed to the safe that had been hidden behind the painting. “How do I know there is money in there?”

“You’re just going to have to trust me because I don’t have the fucking code,” Simon knocked on the safe letting out an amused sound before heading back over to where he was originally to sit down on top of the container again. “So where are the bodies Mr. Smarty Pants? You were supposed to bring them here.”

“Where is the man in charge? He was supposed to be here,” Bill replied back with a bit of venom in his tone. Simon threw his hands up and almost mocking Bill. The other two people that followed Simon into the warehouse were at the corners of the warehouse and when they shifted on their feet it caught Bill’s attention. “I’m not a stupid man, I knew that by coming here with the bodies I would have no leverage over this situation. You give me the money, I give you the exact location of the bodies. That way we both win.”

“I see,” Simon swallowed down, sucking hard at his bottom lip. “Let me see that photo again.”

Wiggling his fingers, Simon demanded and Bill sounded disgusted. Pulling out his phone, Bill looked through a few things before handing over the phone to Simon who survey the photo over letting out a tense sound.

“Are you going to keep fucking me around or are you going to actually give me the money so I can give you a location and we can get back to our regular everyday life?” Bill snapped finding himself getting uncomfortable with the fact that things were not working out the way he was hoping.

“We need to wait,” Simon asserted with a rumble as his eyes were still locked on the phone. “This looks legit.”

“Because it is,” Bill spoke swiftly making all of them tense from where they were seated inside of the work van. Was Simon questioning the validity of the photo? “The three of them are dead as can be. Waiting for you to go collect them and take care of this so we can get this over with.”

“I told you, I don’t know the combination to the safe,” Simon reminded Bill angering Bill even more. “What are you so damn nervous about? You are about to be a rich man. You can’t handle a little conversation?”

“I’ve never been a very social man,” Bill claimed, folding his arms out in front of his chest. “I like to get things over and done with.”

“Tell me how you did this,” Simon held the phone out showing Bill the photo that was up. “Tell me how you killed them.”

“I told you. They were hiding out in the woods and I was able to track them,” Bill recalled what he had already told Simon who was rolling his eyes in response. “I killed them, I got rid of their SUV and their bodies are waiting where I left them.”

“No, I want details,” Simon tossed the phone to Bill who fumbled to catch it before pushing it back into his pocket. “You’re a smart man. I’m sure you don’t forget details. Go over how you killed them.”

“I killed the big one first,” Bill explained coming up with a story and they hoped that he was able to work well under pressure. “Negan? That was his name, right? Put up a hell of a fight, but he never saw me coming. Took multiple gun shots to finally get him down. Then Joel Miller? Fought like hell to protect her. But he didn’t see me coming. I have my talents at being able to stay hidden. I gutted him. And then when it came to her, she was leaning over the side of Joel’s body trying to help him. She was the easiest. I came up behind her with my knife and I cut her throat. End of story.”

“Bloody,” Simon’s eyebrows bounced up and he stood up from the place he had been seated. Stepping in closer to Bill, his eyes were locked on the smaller man as he cleared his throat. His expression grew dark while he stared down at Bill. “You know the order was to kill just the girl.”

“And the country singer killed her friend, so I didn’t think it would be a big deal,” Bill snapped back and even though it was true, it made Y/N let out a saddened sound knowing that she still wondered what happened to Poppy’s body. Then again, Simon had to admit to being in charge of this whole thing. And once they had him in custody, he would have to be convinced to admit what he did with Poppy’s body. Part of her believed he wouldn’t even do that. “I couldn’t get to her without killing them.”

“You killed the strongest son of a bitch that I ever knew,” Simon informed Bill, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat showing that he was getting angry. Stepping in closer to Bill, the warmth of Simon’s breath was hot over Bill’s face. “He shouldn’t have died at the hands of a hillbilly like you.”

“Oh, fuck this. Give me my money,” Bill demanded before letting out a sharp breath when the sound of a gun going off was heard. Dropping to his knees, Bill grabbed a hold of his abdomen, his eyes big with shock. Standing before him was Simon with a gun that he had managed to sneak out in their discussion.

“You shouldn’t have killed Negan,” Simon snarled down at Bill. The other two men that had joined Simon in the warehouse had stepped forward beside him.

“Son of a bitch,” Negan stood up in the van not waiting for any kind of word from Bill. What they had just seen was reason enough to rush to go help Bill. Grabbing the guns he had selected earlier made Joel cuss out.

Scrambling to keep up with Negan, Joel reached for his supplies as well. Without a second thought, Negan hopped out of the van making Y/N panic. Joel cussed out trying to grab what he could, but he wasn’t keeping up with Negan. Instead of rushing out after Negan, Joel leaned into press a swift kiss over Y/N’s temple. Pulling back, Joel stared out at Frank who looked worried, “You keep her safe. Do you understand me?”

Giving a nod, Frank watched as Joel hopped out of the truck and slammed the doors shut behind him. Joel couldn’t think about Frank and Y/N in this situation. Joel had to be Negan’s back up. Trying to catch up, Joel could see that Negan was already running up the hill toward the warehouse. 

“Hey,” Y/N reached for Frank’s arm inside the van seeing that he was clutching to the table that was before him where they were doing surveillance. In the video she saw Bill fall forward on the ground and Simon lifted his gun to itch at his own temple.

“What the hell Simon?” one of the other men snapped looking down at Bill motionless on the ground. “You weren’t supposed to fucking kill him. We needed the location of the bodies. What are we going to do now?”

“I overreacted,” Simon tossed his hands up in the air looking down at Bill’s body and he dramatically shook his head. “I’m just supposed to be okay with some fucking loser killing Negan? Some fucking hacker hillbilly? I’m sorry, but I’m not okay with that shit. He deserved to go out in a way that fit. Not because of this loser searching the deep web to find the information. Fuck that.”

“What are we going to do?” the other man demanded an answer trying to reach down to check on Bill who was motionless. “I think you fucking killed him.”

“We see the picture. We heard the story. It’s believable,” Simon declared with a loud grumble trying to gather himself. “By the story he told they were in the middle of the woods. No one would be able to track their bodies at this point. Just let the bodies rot.”

As the conversation was taking place, both Negan and Joel were approaching the warehouse together. Joel hid behind one of the trucks that they had brought seeing the men that were surrounding the building. Multiple ones had gone around the back and Joel knew they would be up against over a dozen men.

“We need to come up with a plan in order to go get Bill and get the hell out of here,” Joel explained trying to get Negan to focus while he scouted out the area, his jaw flexing. “I’m sure we can be stealthy, take down who we need and…”

Without even listening to Joel, Negan stood up and started shooting. Because it was random and unannounced Negan was able to shoot several of them making them hit the ground hard while the rest of them spread.

“Son of a bitch! Negan!” Joel called out seeing that a few of them were popping out behind Negan in attempts to shoot him. Thinking quickly, Joel shot multiple times taking the men down with the rifle that he had grabbed hating that it was leading to this.

Inside of the warehouse, Simon had hid himself behind the containers that he had been sitting on previously, trying to keep himself hidden, “Holy shit. The hillbilly had a fucking group of people with him too. I did not see that fucking coming.”

“You shouldn’t have fucking killed him!” one of the other men in the warehouse stood with their gun pointed at the door. “This was stupid. This was so stupid!”

Outside, Negan and Joel made their way toward the front of the warehouse. The way Negan moved for the door like nothing could hurt him worried Joel. Negan was killing people easily without much of a reaction, but by the time they had gotten to the front door, multiple bodies were on the ground and Joel hid himself against the wall.

“The door is locked,” Negan pulled at the door letting out a roar looking back at Joel with frustration in his eyes. “Get Frank to unlock the door.”

“Frank, you have to get the doors unlocked,” Joel instructed moving away from the door to try to get Frank to respond to them. Bill had set everything up so Frank was in control of everything that had to do with the building.

“Joel, they are already unlocked,” Frank explained from where he was looking down at the buttons, confused to what Joel was saying. “They were never locked in the first place.”

“They are unlocked Negan,” Joel was confused when he turned to look and see that Negan had opened the door and was pulling it shut. Running forward, Joel tried to tug open the door but Negan had manually locked the door in his attempts to keep Joel safe. “Negan! No. You can’t do this whole thing alone. You’re just one man.”

“Keep her safe,” Negan demanded pointing in the other direction. It was clear what he wanted from Joel. Hitting the door over and over again Joel was determined to get in with the glass starting to crack, but not enough to make a difference. Instead of opening the door, Negan turned on his heel eliciting a hiss from Joel.

“He locked me out Frank! I need to get in,” Joel explained drawing Frank to let out a nervous sound and he felt Y/N moving around beside him in the truck. “Negan can’t go in there alone.”

“I don’t know what to tell you Joel, the back door is surrounded by them and you know that you can’t go there. Not after what we set up,” Frank looked for an option but there was none. Joel’s loud, frustrated breaths were heard while he continued to pound at the glass on the door trying to break it down. “Break the door down Joel. Use your gun.”

“It’s wasting bullets,” Joel reasoned before using the butt of the gun to hit at the glass until it finally shattered.

“What are you doing?” Frank questioned from where he was seated noticing the way that Y/N was digging through the supplies that was in the work van. When he saw that she had grabbed a handgun, he let out a frustrated sound. “You can’t go there after them Y/N! You know what the plan was!”

“I’m not going to let them get hurt further. Not for me,” she hopped out of the van sticking to her guns. Frank frustratingly breathed out. It looked like he was going to follow her out, but she threw her hand up in the air. “You have to keep them safe from here. You know what you have to do. You can’t leave.”

“Goddamn it,” Frank cussed when she slammed the doors of the van shut behind her leaving Frank inside.

Wincing out, Joel had managed to get his arm through the broken parts of the glass to get the door unhooked and at the same time Negan was approaching the room that Bill had gone in with Simon. When he stepped into the entrance way, he let out a grunt when one of the two managed to shoot him in the arm making him jolt back. Quickly gathering himself, Negan shot multiple times at the man who had shot him, hitting him several times before getting a kill shot in the head. Pointing his gun at the other man who was left standing, Negan cleared his throat and motioned them to throw the gun down.

“Throw it down, now!” Negan demanded seeing the other man shake his head immediately. It looked like he was about to shoot Negan, but another few shots filled the air. Looking back over his shoulder once the body dropped to the ground, Negan saw that Joel was standing behind him. Joel expression was furious. “I fucking told you to stay.”

“I don’t give a shit,” Joel snarled at Negan and it was followed by a surprised sound escaping Simon’s throat when his hand pressed in over the container so he could look back and over to see Negan pointing his rifle out at him. “Negan!”

“Back from the fucking dead,” Simon let out an amused breath making Negan’s face scrunch up in anger and Negan pulled the gun up further. “Was this your idea? You sent this idiot in to stage everything and you got him killed?”

“Don’t,” Joel warned when Simon slowly stood up looking between the two of them. “Don’t move. Or I’ll fucking shoot!”

“I can see that,” Simon was amused, keeping his hands at his hips while Negan remained silent. “You do know at any moment, the rest of the crew is going to come in through the back, right? I’m sure they are making their way there right now as we…”

A booming sound filled the air making Simon drop down and cover his head when debris from an explosion toward the back exit filled the small warehouse. Instead of reacting to the explosion, Negan kept his gun on Simon knowing that the explosion was caused from the explosives that Bill had set up just in case someone tried to sneak into the building. Frank had set it off showing that Simon was right and the rest of the crew was coming in through the back.

“Negan!” Joel called out seeing that a few people were still approaching. It became obvious that not everyone had been effected by the explosion that was set up. Immediately bullets were flooding into the room and Joel shuffled to try to get cover behind a wall. Negan had dropped down at the other end of the containers that Simon had scrambled behind again.

Trying to pop his head out, Joel scoffed when the bullets continued to graze by him. Dropping down onto the ground, Joel clung to the rifle and cussed out loud knowing that there was still too many men for them to take down at once in this situation. They had the upper hand.

Scoping out the warehouse, Joel saw the set of stairs that were at the corner of the room that led to the second floor overlook of the warehouse. That was the only way he knew that would work with him having an advantage in this situation. Stretching his fingers out, he reached for a piece of the debris from the explosion that had made it this far across the building. Tossing it aside, the gunmen shot at the area it landed giving Joel enough time to scramble for the stairs. They shot at him and he managed to reach the steps before he could be shot.

Once he reached the top, he paused to make sure that there was a safe spot for him to settle himself. They hadn’t stopped trying to shoot at Negan who could barely move and Joel knew he needed to do something. Propping himself up, he aimed at one of the men that Simon had brought with him, shooting and hitting the first one in the neck causing the blood to spray from his throat. It was something that usually would have made Joel uncomfortable, but he had to push through the emotions of this whole thing. Killing was never something he wanted to do, but this was a situation that he got stuck in. Taking another shot took another one down leaving Negan room to finally move away from where he was. Once Negan was safe, Joel dropped back down to give himself cover as well.

“Negan!” Simon called out from where he was still hidden. “What the hell are you doing?”

When the shooting stopped, Negan popped out from where he was hidden to shoot at the remainder of the men that were there. With them distracted on Negan, Joel knew that he could pop up again taking out a few more of them. During the process they had noticed that Joel was up on the second level and he had to hide himself. It gave Negan the opportunity to shoot at them. Heading back for the stairs, Joel knew that it would give him the chance to fool them with where he was. They were still shooting at the second level unaware that he had made it back to the first floor.

“Christ! Stop!” Simon screamed out while the bullets continued to be shot back and forth between both sides. Once another one of their men was taken out by Joel and Negan, the remaining three had dropped back. “You two are killing all of my men.”

“Good,” Negan snarled back, pressing forward toward the area they had run off in. It left Joel trying to go off after him, but Negan was already pulling out the handgun that he had, dropping the rifle on the ground. The way he shot the men with ease in the back as they ran away shocked Joel knowing that Negan was an incredible shot.

“Hey!” Simon called out drawing Joel’s attention since he was still partially in the warehouse. Letting out a worried sound, Joel saw Y/N moving into the building and before he could react Simon was scrambling from where he was to move in behind her to wrap her up in his arms from behind making her gasp out. Pointing his rifle out at Simon, Joel made his way back toward the situation seeing that Simon pressed the gun to Y/N’s head. “You step closer and I will blow her brains out all over the place.”

“What the hell are you doing?” Joel questioned with a frustrated glance seeing the fear in Y/N’s eyes while she stared out at him. “You were supposed to stay where you were.”

“I couldn’t let the two of you get hurt,” she answered letting out a wince when Negan had entered the warehouse and lifted his handgun to point it at Simon when he realized what was happening. “Negan.”

“Let her go,” Negan warned getting closer to the three of them that were already in a standoff. “You do something stupid Simon and you’re outnumbered. All of your men are dead. There is nothing you have over the two of us.”

“This is fucking insane,” Simon acknowledged with a bit of a maniacal laugh. Hiding his body behind Y/N’s, Simon was doing his best to keep himself from being shot. Simon’s arm was hooked around her throat, with the gun still pointed at her temple. “All of this over this dumb broad? The both of you?”

“Let her go now!” Joel screamed at Simon, his body shaking from his emotional outburst. Snickering, Simon buried his head against the side of Y/N’s neck. The sensation made her eyes shut tightly in fear.

“You must have a magic pussy or something,” Simon slurred making her let out a disgusted breath when his lips pressed in over the back of her ear. “You have both of these two suckers willing to risk their lives for you. What is it? I’ve known you your whole life and I just don’t see it.”

“You’re disgusting,” she shouted out at Simon trying to wiggle out of his grasp, but his muscular arm wasn’t letting her go anywhere. “I always knew you were a piece of shit.”

“Oh? Did you now?” Simon’s voice raised while pulling her tightly to him. “Do you want a fucking cookie for knowing that? God, you’re so fucking special, aren’t you? Did you think the men who were working for your father were good people?”

“Let her go Simon,” Negan demanded but Simon didn’t listen. It just made Simon smirk and he shook his head. “Why are you doing this Simon? Tell us who hired you and we can work something out with you.”

“Oh, you’re going to work with me?” Simon chuckled with his eyebrows furrowing and Simon nuzzled his nose in the back against Y/N’s neck.

“Do you trust me?” Joel inquired making Y/N’s eyes grow with fear. This was Joel asking Y/N for permission to do something and it made Negan let out a nervous exhale. “Do you trust me?”

“No,” Negan responded with a shake of his head seeing that Joel was lining up a shot. “We don’t trust you.”

“I need to hear it from you,” Joel begged of Y/N knowing that it was only her that could give him the permission to do this. There was doubt in Negan’s face, but she could feel the gun digging in further at her temple.

“I trust you,” she breathed out and a moment later a gun went off making Simon hiss out in agony showing that Joel had hit him. It made Simon release Y/N and Negan scrambled to grab a hold of her so he could push her behind him to protect her. Simon was holding the side of his face, clinging to it while blood seeped through his fingers.

“You shot off part of my ear?” Simon snarled, lifting his fingers to trace over the area that Joel had managed to shoot in order to get Simon to let go of Y/N. Tossing his handgun up, Simon pointed it at Negan. Joel stepped forward to make it clear that he was there with his gun. “Fuck, I understand why you hated the fucking professor.”

“Fuck you,” Joel swore at Simon making Simon laugh and gaze over in his direction. “Tell us what we need to know and I won’t put a bullet in your fucking head. And trust me, with that shiny ass forehead it’s not going to be hard to miss.”

“Oh, look at you. Big and bad. So terrifying you smartass,” Simon chuckled, gazing over to Negan and letting out an exhausted sound. “I can’t believe it got to this.”

“What does that mean?” Joel inquired letting out a groan when a gunshot went off, hitting his left arm. Hitting the ground hard, it felt like the breath left his lungs and Joel immediately clung to his arm. Quickly turning, Negan shot off a few rounds at the person who had obviously shot Joel. Once the sound of a body hitting the ground was heard, Negan turned on his heel and brought the gun back to Simon. Simon had his gun pointed at Joel and he had kicked Joel’s rifle away. “Fuck.”

“That’s what you deserve for shooting part of my ear off you prick,” Simon hissed at Joel who was clinging to his arm while blood seeped through his fingers. When he noticed the fear in Negan’s eyes, Simon chuckled to himself and shook his head. “You really are clinging to these two, aren’t you?”

“Hey,” Negan made sure to keep Y/N behind him to block her so that way Simon couldn’t point his gun at her. “Just tell us what we need to know.”

“Come on Negan, don’t you think it’s about time to give up the gig?” Simon pushed keeping his gun up and pointed at Negan while Negan made sure to push Y/N further behind him. “I think it’s gone on long enough at this point.”

“What are you talking about?” Negan tipped his head to the side noticing out of the corner of his eye that Joel was attempting to slide toward the gun that Y/N had dropped when she entered the building. She had dropped it when Simon had grabbed a hold of her. Trying to keep Simon’s attention he knew that he didn’t want Simon’s gun on either Y/N or Joel. “Stop fucking around Simon!” 

“Don’t play innocent,” Simon snickered looking between both Y/N and Joel who looked confused with his response. “I didn’t think you’d let it get this far. When you came up with the idea for this whole thing, I thought it would be a simple job, but you have dragged this thing out way too far.”

“What?” Negan snarled, his eyebrows furrowing when he shook his head. “You’re talking nonsense.”

“Y/N, this was originally just supposed to be Negan stepping in to be the hero,” Simon clarified, his head nodding slowly when he dramatically wiggled his gun out in the air. “There is no money in that safe. Negan wanted to be your hero to make you fall in love with him. He was so jealous that you had the professor that he tried coming up with a scenario of how to make you fall in love with him. I let him do it because he’s my friend and I thought after the first night it would be over. I didn’t think this would drag on for weeks. We were going to set up the shooting, Negan was meant to kill them and then he would be your knight in shining armor. You deserve to know that Negan isn’t the man that you think he is.”

“Bullshit,” Y/N snapped back at Simon making him look offended when he place his hand in over the center of his chest.

“Why do you think I was so fucking pissed that the hillbilly killed him?” Simon pushed further nodding over toward Bill’s body that was still on the ground. “This was just supposed to be something that Negan and I worked up together. After Negan lost Lucille, he just became so obsessed with the idea of you. You were this sweet, pure little thing and he just wanted you so much. And the professor was getting in the way. Negan is not the man that you think he is. In fact, he’s quite honestly the biggest manipulator I know. Hell, I fell for it too. I wanted my best friend to find love and even though it was a bit extreme, I went through with it. I didn’t think he was going to make a whole fucking action movie out of it. It was when Poppy got killed where I knew I had to straighten this shit up.” 

“Oh fuck you,” Negan snarled once he realized what Simon was trying to hint at. “I would never do something like this you fucking piece of shit. And you know that.”

“Oh?” Simon held his finger up on his free hand digging into his pocket to pull out his phone. “I thought you might pull something like this. So…”

Keeping Y/N safely behind him, Negan felt his whole body tensing up when Simon brought up something on his phone and the audio clip started to play, “I have to figure out a way to get rid of the boyfriend. All the guy fucking does is upset her. But she’s so goddamn in love with him that I don’t know what I could even do. It would have to be something big. Something that was a grand gesture. I wish I could just throw the guy in the fucking river and be done with it.”

A nervous laugh fell from Negan’s throat when he looked back at Y/N seeing her eyes gazing over him and he shook his head, “That’s taken completely out of context. I don’t even know why he recorded that. It was right after Joel asked you for money the first time and I was talking to Simon about it, I don’t…I don’t even know why he recorded that.”

“Negan, she loves you at this point. You got what you wanted,” Simon shoved his phone back into his pocket pointing over at Joel who had started to pull himself up from the ground. “I can tell by the way she ran in here guns blazing. You have both of these two wanting to protect you and keep you safe. You got between her legs, so let’s finish this shit up.”

“Shut up,” Negan screamed at Simon who simply shrugged his shoulders and lowered his gun about. “You don’t know when to stop lying, do you?”

“Do you?” Simon repeated pointing back and forth between Y/N and Joel. “You just can’t stop this whole thing you started. Joel has been shot for fuck’s sake. Poppy is dead. People are fucking dead. Lots of fucking people. And it was all over some girl? This is fucking ridiculous Negan. I helped you set up this building, I picked the men for you to kill to make sure she knew you were the one that loved her the most. What more could you possibly want? This is what you do to your best friend?”

“Negan?” the color drained from Joel’s face while he stared out at Negan who was shaking his head.

“He’s full of shit,” Negan declared shrugging his shoulders. “Why would I do this?”

“Because love makes you do crazy things. Your wife died and you were never able to get over it. I think it drove you kind of crazy friend. And I should have questioned this before you did all of it,” Simon retorted with a wrinkle of his nose making Negan’s face scrunch up in anger. “I’m sorry, it’s just time to be honest about things. Let’s just do what you wanted from the start with Joel. Let’s just kill the son of a bitch and get a move on because this is really fucking with her dad’s run for governor which is fucking with my job. You’re my friend, but enough is enough.”

“You’re trying to fuck with her mind and it’s not going to work,” Negan shook his head, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat when he felt Y/N’s body moving away from him. Looking back over his shoulder, Negan felt his throat tightening and he let out a tense breath. “You can’t actually believe what he’s saying, do you?”

“Come on Negan. She’s not stupid,” Simon pointed out waving his gun about when he saw her eyes staring Negan over. “How the hell do you think we knew where you were at all times? There was only one constant Y/N. And that’s Negan.”

“The tracker in my necklace,” she blurt out thinking to the tracker that she had destroyed previously from the necklace that her father had given her. “My father gave me a necklace when I was younger that had a tracker in it. That’s how.”

“You think that tracker would work across the fucking country?” Simon scoffed working to make Y/N question that very thing. Negan’s face had gone pale so much that when Y/N looked to him, Simon could tell that Negan was staring to panic. “Honey, Negan has been fucking obsessed with you since Lucille died. It was just supposed to be a show. Hurting people is not something Negan has a problem with doing. You think he just suddenly learned to be a good fighter? The guy was a baseball player and a gym teacher. Yet he can kill people point blank and easy? Were you guys with Negan every time that he called me?”

The look over Joel’s face answered it for Simon and he snapped his fingers showing that he was proving a point, “After the shooting happened at your birthday party, Negan realized that it was pushing you and Joel closer together. We were supposed to stop it, but he couldn’t handle you being with Joel. So he told me to keep things going. Begged me. The country singer was an accident. He had a mind of his own, Poppy wasn’t supposed to happen. That was my mistake not making sure that it was someone who understood better, but this whole thing happened because Negan wanted you for himself.”

“Why are you doing this Simon? You were my friend,” Negan reminded Simon, but it didn’t seem to effect Simon when he simply shrugged his shoulders. 

“How do you think I fucking feel Negan? I am your friend, I got you this job. I didn’t expect you to fall in love with Philip Blake’s daughter. You were just supposed to do your fucking job. I just can’t put up with this any longer. It’s gone on for too long and it’s fucking up my life. I’m sick of it and it needs to stop,” Simon interrupted Negan looking to Joel again who was just standing there staring out at Negan. Both Joel and Y/N were staring out at Negan looking for any kind of proof that this wasn’t true. “Listen, I’ll just kill the professor for you so that way he’s no longer competition for you. Then it can just be the two of you. We’ll clean up this whole mess and pin it on Ezekiel like we originally planned. Then our life can go back to normal.”

“No!” Negan called out seeing Simon lifting the gun to point it at Joel. Right when Simon was about to pull the trigger a shot went off making Simon jolt back. Negan had shot him in the shoulder to stop him from shooting Joel. A furious roar escaped Simon’s throat when he turned away from the group. Waving his hand out, Negan nodded toward the door and cleared his throat. “We need to get you help Joel. Come on, we can grab Simon and bring him with us.”

With a tip of his head, Joel cleared his throat and shook his head. Holding out his hand, Joel motioned Y/N to come to him. It made Negan lower his gun, looking back at Y/N who was staring out at him with big eyes. A shuddering breath fell from Negan’s throat when she moved around him to head over to Joel instead.

“Why isn’t anyone showing up Negan?” Joel wondered making Negan’s jaw flex with tension while he gazed back and forth between Y/N and Joel. “If someone was in charge, they would have shown up by now, right? Why aren’t they?”

“How am I supposed to know?” Negan stepped forward trying to reach out to Y/N, but she stepped back away from him. Joel urged her to get behind him and Negan could feel his heart pounding inside of his chest. “After everything I’ve done…this is how you two respond? Yeah, I didn’t like you at first Joel, but you didn’t like me either. But now? After everything, we’re a fucking trio. Remember? We all protect each other. Do you really believe I let myself get shot? That I allowed myself to get my ass beat so bad that I pissed blood for days?”

“I don’t know what to believe Negan. The person behind everything is your best friend,” Joel reasoned with Negan looking to Simon who was hunched over grabbing his arm. “And you are incredibly good at killing people. Simon isn’t wrong. For someone who claimed to never kill a person before, you do it really well.”

“So are you,” Negan reminded Joel with a shake of his head, lowering his gun when he spoke to the two of them. “I can’t believe this. After everything we’ve been through together, you really believe the shit that he is spewing? There are so many plot holes in his story.”

“Is there?” Joel questioned, his eyebrow arching up in curiosity drawing Negan to let out a hurt sound. “How did he know that we were getting closer after the shooting at her birthday?”

“I called him every fucking time we stopped and you know that,” Negan reasoned with Joel stepping forward. It made Joel raise his gun up further stopping Negan from getting any closer. “Why would I hurt Y/N? I wouldn’t. She was the only reason I was still here. I love her. And I…I thought the two of us…”

“Dear God Negan. You’re sinking the ship in both of them? You fell in love with him too?” Simon shot back at Negan making Negan’s hazel eyes narrow and he raised his gun back at Simon again who stood. “I can’t believe you shot me, for him. Of all fucking people.”

“Just put the gun down Negan so we can figure all of this out,” Joel suggested seeing the way that Negan looked to Y/N. “We’ll take Simon and we can figure things out.”

“You really think I had something to do with this?” Negan begged for an answer from her seeing the confusion that flooded into her features. “Y/N, I love you so much. I promise you, I would never do something like this. I’ve done bad things in my life. I have. You know that. But what I feel for you, I love you so fucking much. I would have died for both you and Joel. Why would I do this to protect the two of you?”

“Because you didn’t want them to find out,” Simon screamed at Negan seeing the way that Y/N was staring out at Negan. “You’re making it more obvious Negan. I knew you were fucking obsessed with her, but the begging. And wanting the professor’s approval too?”

“You’re fucking with the people I care about,” Negan snarled holding his gun up in Simon’s direction making Simon roll his eyes. Stepping forward, Y/N reached out to place her hand in over the side of Negan’s face getting him to look at her with his hazel eyes. “Please…”

“I believe you,” she whispered drawing Negan to loosen up before her. “There is only one person in this world that I’ve counted on my whole life to keep me safe and it’s you.”

“You mean that?” Negan inquired with a small quiver of his bottom lip and she nodded her head, tipping up on her toes to brush a kiss over Negan’s lips. It made him exhale loudly while she stroked over the side of his face. “I promise…”

“I know,” she reached for Negan, leading Negan closer to them. “Simon is trying to fuck with us Joel, but Negan’s not lying. I have never in my life felt safer with someone than I do when I’m with Negan. He just wants to keep us safe.”

“You are such a stupid little girl,” Simon called out from where he was drawing their attention to him from where he was holding his gun. Joel was moving toward them and Simon raised his gun. “This shit would have been so much easier with the professor fucking gone to begin with. If he wasn’t there on your birthday…”

Tossing the gun up, Simon didn’t wait this time. Joel tensed up hearing the gun go off and he gasped when Negan threw himself in front of Joel after shoving Y/N aside. The sound of the gunshot echoed throughout the warehouse when Negan fell forward against Joel. Clinging tightly to Negan, Joel felt his heart racing realizing what happened.

“Ah shit,” Simon snarled when Negan fell to his knees and he realized that Negan had taken the bullet instead of Joel. “You weren’t supposed to do that. You were the only one I wanted to keep alive you idiot. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Hey,” Joel clung to Negan, his hand pressing in over Negan’s back feeling the blood that was against his fingertips. Dropping to the ground with Negan’s body, Joel let out a tremoring breath when he realized how much Negan was bleeding. “Negan?”

“Negan,” Y/N called out sliding down in beside them seeing Negan reaching out to her and she grabbed a hold of his hand.

“I made the choice for you,” Negan whimpered causing her chest to ache realizing that Negan was referring to the conversation that they had the day before. “I didn’t do this. I just want to keep you both safe. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Hey, no,” she shook her head motioning to the door. “We need to get him out of here.”

“Come on,” Joel tried to pull Negan up making Negan cry out in pain and he fell back onto the ground. Crawling in beside Negan she pulled him into her arms and she tried to pull him up to the best of her ability. “We have to get you help.”

“I can’t move,” Negan shook his head with broken breaths, his hand lifting to see the blood that was covering his fingertips. There was fear in Negan’s eyes while she pulled him in closer to her chest. Burying his head against the center of her chest Negan winced and she kissed at his forehead. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize,” she shook her head feeling tears swelling at her eyes while Joel sat on his knees beside Negan. “We need to get help. Now. Call someone.”

“No one is calling anyone,” Simon asserted stepping forward raising his gun up seeing that Y/N was pulling Negan in closer to her body to hold him close. In her arms, Negan’s body went limp and Simon sighed loudly. “He wasn’t lying,” Simon informed them with a huff staring down at Negan in her arms. “As much as I love this fucking guy, we needed someone to fall back on and he was the perfect scapegoat. The bodyguard that became obsessed with the woman that he was watching over? It fit him perfectly. He already had pictures up of you at his apartment. I hate that he has to die, but now I guess it makes it easier to sell the story. Not that it’s going to be hard anyways. I mean look at how fast the two of you believed the story I was selling. He gave his all for the both of you and look at what you did to him. You turned your backs on him as soon as you could.”

Lifting his gun up, Simon pointed back and forth between the two of them before finally settling in on Y/N, “I wish you would have just died that first night. It would have made things so much easier. Instead you made this shit so damn hard for me. All of you were such a pain in the ass. Goodbye Y/N. You and Negan can die together.”

Closing her eyes tightly, she heard the sound of a gun going off and let out a shuddering breath when she realized that she wasn’t struck. Opening her eyes, she looked to see that Simon was looking down toward the center of his abdomen where he was bleeding. Looking beside her she saw that Joel had a gun that he had in his hand that he had obviously hidden previously. Dropping his gun, Simon fell backwards and his blood started to pool on the floor.

Motioning Y/N to move, Joel looked over Negan seeing that he was still breathing, but barely, “We need to get him out of here,” Joel announced picking up Negan from the ground in his arms with a roar. Carrying him toward the door, Y/N quickly followed after him only for the lights to go out leaving a small light from only the exit sign flooding the room. A few gunshots went off and Joel cry out followed when the lights came back on Y/N could see that he was on the floor with Negan and Joel got shot in the shoulder on the same side he had got shot in the arm. Scrambling to help them, she didn’t know what to do at this point. “Get out of here!”

Movement was seen in the back of the room and Joel shot off a few shots with his good arm making a body drop to the ground when it was obviously one of Simon’s men that they had missed previously when they entered the building.

“You fuckers,” a slurring sound was heard when Simon started to pull himself up showing the blood that was dripping from his lips. “If I’m going to die, I’m going to die knowing that you both are fucking gone.”

A gunshot went off and Simon fell to the ground in a thud and this time the gunshot was to the head so there was no getting up anymore for Simon. Lifting her eyes, Y/N saw that it was her dad standing behind Simon holding the gun that Negan had dropped.

“Dad?” Y/N muttered seeing the way that her father’s head slowly rose to meet her stare. Getting up from the ground, Y/N scrambled over to her father to wrap her arms tightly around him to hug him. “What are you doing here?”

“I had some men watching Simon because he’s been acting suspicious,” Philip explained hearing Joel wincing out as he pulled himself into a standing position trying to reach for Negan. “They found a paper that Simon wrote information on and I came as fast as I could.”

“I need help,” Joel called out with a desperate sound trying to pick up Negan with all of his might.

“Let’s get all of you guys to the hospital,” Philip suggested moving forward after putting the gun into the back of his pants. Leaning down to try to help Joel pick Negan up, Y/N headed over toward Simon’s body to pick up the gun that was there. “Come on honey, we need to get Negan help.”

Going to move forward, Y/N stopped when she spotted the safe that was still exposed in the wall. Swallowing down hard, she looked to Simon thinking about how he seemed to be waiting for someone the whole time. Stepping toward the safe, she shakily reached her hand out to the dial doing the combination that she had known for so long. Letting curiosity get the best of her, she knew that it should have been the last thing that she did, but she couldn’t help it.

“Come on!” Joel called out looking back over his shoulder seeing her standing at the safe. “What are you doing?”

Putting in the last number, the sound of the safe opening was heard making Joel and Philip both turn to face her while they were holding a limp Negan up by wrapping his arms around their shoulders. Negan was soaked in blood at this point and he should have been her number one priority, but when the safe pulled open she felt her heart sink. A shuddering exhale fell from her throat seeing the stacks of money that were inside of the safe. Involuntarily her body began to tremble and it was followed by a nervous sound from Philip.

“How did you get that open?” Philip inquired with tension in his tone. “It must have been left open.”

“It was your combination dad,” she informed her father swallowing down hard when she turned on her heel to stare out at her father. Uncomfortably Philip laughed. “It was the day you made your first million. I know because I stole mom’s necklace from your safe years ago. I’ve always known your combination. That means this safe is yours. This building is yours. Simon was working for you and waiting for you. You’re the person that put the hit out on me. Your own daughter.”

“Come on,” Philip grumbled staring out at Y/N with a look of disgust plastered over his features. “I’m a lot of things, but you think I would kill my own daughter? It had to be Simon that did it. He knew everything. He had all of my resources!”

“No, he didn’t know the combination. He was waiting on you to show up the whole time,” she snapped at her father making Joel’s gaze switch to Philip who was shifting uncomfortably at the other side of Negan. “Simon had no idea. Not once did he trash your name. It was you that he was working for.”

“Hell,” Philip scoffed pulling out his gun making Y/N gasp out when Philip shot Joel in the leg. Immediately Joel dropped to the ground with Negan falling in over him. Sounds of agony filled the air when Philip marched forward and Y/N attempted to lift the gun, but Philip swung the gun out hitting her in the face with an incredible amount of power knocking her to the ground. “Simon wasn’t wrong. You are an incredibly stupid little girl. How you have my blood running through your veins and you are like this is beyond me.”

Crying out, she pulled her hands away from her face to see that her nose was bleeding and there was an incredible amount of heat flooding her face. Slamming the door shut on the safe, Philip growled out and tossed his hands up in the air.

“You had to let your curiosity ruin everything. If you would have just kept your fucking mouth shut, we could be on our way to the hospital and both men in your life would be okay,” Philip alerted her waving the gun about in the air. “Instead you have to do what you do best and fuck shit up. It’s what you were always good at.”

“Why?” she pulled herself up into a seated position bracing her back against the containers that were behind her.

“Why not?” Philip responded, kneeling down before his daughter making her look up at him with big eyes. “You are a fuck up Y/N. I’m running for governor and honestly? I’ve never really liked you all that much. It wasn’t that hard of a thing to come up with. A tragedy often sways the public vote toward someone who lost everything. If you died, it was guaranteed that I would win hands down. Especially now that the news channel is suggesting that Ezekiel had something to do with that. But see, the media is easily corruptible. You hand them some money and they are eager to do whatever you tell them. Money fucking talks sweetheart. It’s what keeps me going. I need to win. You know that I’m projected to go all the way to the white house if I get elected as governor. I have this happen, Ezekiel loses by large amounts and I don’t have to worry about the wrong media focusing on the fact that I’m not a family man because I kicked my troublesome daughter out of my life.”

“All so you can win governor?” she blurt out feeling the world spinning around her while her father stared out at her with his intense blue eyes. “I lost my best friend because of this.”

“Poppy was never supposed to die. You were. Then Joel, Poppy and Negan had to get in the fucking way,” Philip snarled down at her, throwing his finger up toward Joel and Negan. “If you would have just died that night at the party, Poppy would still be alive. Negan and Joel wouldn’t be bleeding out.”

“You’re a piece of shit,” she whimpered seeing Phillip think about it before nodding.

“I am, you’re not wrong about that,” Philip shrugged letting out a tense sound as he stayed knelt before her. “Listen, we have two options here. Either I take Simon’s gun and I shoot you with it myself before killing both Joel and Negan or you take option two. And option two is very nice if you ask me. Option two is we pin everything on Simon. I allow you to keep one of the men in your life and the three of us walk away from this being able to live another day.”

“Fuck you,” she snapped at her father making him sigh out when he stood up from where he was to head over toward Negan and Joel. “Leave them alone.”

“You’re going to have to make a choice kiddo. Negan is still breathing. I see it. But barely,” Philip informed her swirling his finger over Negan. Blood was surrounding the floor around both Joel and Negan. At this point she wasn’t sure what belonged to who. “If we forget this whole thing happened, I’ll let you pick one to keep alive. If you want to pick Negan, I would suggest you do it fast though because he looks like he is bleeding out. Joel is slowly working his way there.”

“You want to just forget this whole thing happened?” she hissed out, pulling herself up into a standing position. Philip simply nodded, his eyes staring out at her when she cleared her throat.

“I’ll give you and whoever you pick all the money your heart desires. Just to disappear. You stick around long enough for the media and when it’s over you can leave. It will make sense because the media will play it like you had to get away from the catastrophic event that almost killed you and killed two of your friends,” Philip went off pointing the gun between Negan and Joel. “So pick!”

“Money doesn’t fix everything,” she stammered lifting her hand to reveal that she had Simon’s gun. Philip laughed when he saw it. “Money won’t make me a monster like you.”

“You’re going to shoot me?” Philip stepped forward, his eyes narrowing at his daughter when he stepped before her. When she didn’t pull the trigger, Philip wrapped his finger around the back of her neck and forced her forward. “Money can make anyone do anything. I fucking promise you. Watch…”

Snapping his fingers, Philip managed to get Joel to stare out at him from where he had propped himself against the wall. There was anger in his eyes while Philip pushed Y/N before Joel, “Joel Miller, if you shoot my daughter, I will give you two million dollars. I’ll fund your business, make sure your daughter and your brother get the best of the best. We will pin everything on Simon and Negan. Use the same story that Simon told you earlier.”

A shuddering exhale fell from Joel’s throat and Y/N felt her stomach sinking, “Joel?”

“See here is the thing honey. Money is more important than you. Money has always been the most important thing in the world. Money is what made this son of a bitch fuck with you in the first place,” Philip squeezed his fingers at the base of her throat making her whimper while Joel stared up at them with his intense brown eyes. “In fact, let me explain to you how important money is. When your mother left, it took her a year to settle her shit. To get help with the alcoholism, to get her own home…and then she came back for you. I offered her money to leave and never look back. And she took it. Your own mother picked a life of luxury and money instead of choosing you. I don’t care if you think Joel loves you, no one is going to turn down the kind of life that I can promise them. Well, no one other than you. And maybe Negan, but he’s not really in a position to be making decisions now, is he?”

Wincing out, she felt her father’s fingers digging tightly into her flesh, “So what do you say Mr. Miller? Do the kill shot and I’ll give you everything you ever dreamt of.”

Joel’s eyebrows twisted with tension, he was sweating and the color drained from his face. After a moment, he nodded his head making Y/N let out a whimpering breath, “Joel?”

“A man with common sense,” Philip motioned Joel to stand watching as Joel shakily pulled himself up and braced his weight on his good leg. Handing over the gun to Joel, Y/N cried out when Philip pushed her before Joel. “Come on Joel, one right between the eyes and your life gets incredibly better. You can start over new with your family.”

“Joel, please…” she begged seeing Joel lining up the gun, his dark eyes narrowing while the gun shook in his hands. “Joel…”

“You’re going to learn a lesson before you die sweetheart and that’s money is more important than you will ever…” Philip began letting out a wail when Joel swiftly turned the gun shooting Philip in the shoulder making him fall back onto the ground in a thud. Sliding back on the ground, Philip scrambled for the gun that he had gotten Y/N to drop pointing it out at Joel who stepped in front of Y/N to keep her safe. “I just offered you everything. What is wrong with you? I offered you your life back. And then some.”

“Some things are more important than money,” Joel declared with a shake of his head looking back at Y/N with a firm nod.

“I will destroy you. No one is going to believe what happened here today. They are going to…” Philip paused when he heard his voice echoing and he looked over his shoulder to see that Bill was standing behind him holding his cell phone out to show that his speech was being streamed onto one of the most popular news channels.

“I think it’s time to stop Mr. Blake,” Bill explained, tearing at the shirt that he was wearing to reveal that he was wearing a bulletproof vest. The bullet that Simon had shot him with had hit him so firmly that it had knocked him unconscious from the pain that it caused. “We weren’t the only ones here today. There was one more. And when you started talking about why you did everything, he started streaming out your confession to all the major news channels. Everyone knows what you’ve done now. Everyone. See, I came in here earlier today and disguised myself as an electrician. Said the powerlines went down and I made sure that I linked all of the cameras in here to my own personal computers. So you’re wrong. Everyone is going to believe what happened here today because they heard it from your own mouth.”

“You son of a bitch,” Philip raised his gun at Bill in attempts to shoot him, but Joel shot off once more hitting Philip in the hand making him drop the gun to the ground with a pained wail. Dropping out onto his back, Philip smiled and shook his head slowly. “You must feel big Joel Miller. Bringing down the man that ruined your life. Might as well take your final shot.”

“And make life easy for you by killing you?” Joel snarled, his dark eyes narrowing when he let out a tense exhale. Tossing the gun aside, Joel shook his head and glared down at the man who had done nothing but made his life hell. “I want you to be around to experience everything that is going to happen to you Philip. You’re not escaping this one…”

Sirens filled the air when the lights from the police cars pulling into the lot of the warehouse were heard making the color drain completely from Philip’s features. Shaking his head, Joel turned on his heel and reached down to grab a tight hold of Negan. Pulling him up in his arms, it took everything inside of him to get Negan up as he headed for the door limping.

Giving her father one final glance, she felt the police moving in around her and when they forced her father face forward against the ground, she shook her head and followed Joel out. Chasing to catch up with him, she knew that she wanted to be with Negan.

“He’s lost a lot of blood, please help him,” Joel explained with a weak exhale when he finally got Negan to the ambulance that was there. They grabbed a hold of Negan and put him onto a stretcher. Once they had Negan, Joel dropped down himself and felt himself being caught by Y/N who lowered down to the ground with him. Lifting his eyes, Joel stared out at Y/N letting out a tense sound. “You’re free from him now. You’re safe.”

There were tears in her eyes when she nodded and he reached out to stroke his fingers in over the side of her face, “If something happens to me, please take care of Sarah.”

“Nothing is going to happen to you,” she hushed him looking to see that his leg was bleeding badly as well. The paramedic reached for Joel pulling him from her arms making her let out a shuddering breath when she looked down at her hands to see they were covered in blood. It was undoubtedly mixed from both Joel and Negan.

“We need to get them to the hospital,” they informed her and she stood up to her feet approaching the ambulance.

“I need to go with them,” she asserted and they allowed her to get into the passenger seat. Once inside the ambulance, all she could focus on was the sounds of the paramedics in the back trying to help both Negan and Joel. By the sounds of what they were saying it didn’t sound good for either one of them. Nothing else mattered to her after tonight. Not her father. Not her father’s money. All that she prayed for was that both Joel and Negan would be okay. They just had to be. Or else this would have been for nothing.

[eisforeidolon]

I feel fans should be able to interpret shows and characters any way they want but it really bothers me that shippers die on the hill of Dean is such a closeted bi sexual and Sam is the biggest heterosexual out there. I love these characters because they are extremely toxic and codependent on each other. The story would not be the same with out that. Why would anyone look to Supernatural to be their all time gay representation love story when it most obviously is not. it just blows my mind how out there Destiel shippers are and how much they truly hate this show and hate Dean without even realizing it. I need someone to figure out how we can get rid of them from this fandom...LOL

Yeah, IDGI either. Fandom is supposed to be about just having fun however you want with the building blocks from the canon + your imagination. It's not even the main point that they're hilariously bad at interpretation, project too hard onto the characters to even see them, can't understand context to save their lives, pointedly ignore a million things that directly contradict their agenda, and too much of their so-called proof is actually gross backwards stereotypes about sexuality and masculinity (neither of which they seem to understand very well at all). If they were just having fun with it, who the fuck cares? Sure, it's annoying, but a lot of fandom is annoying because it is so specifically tailored to things not everyone is gonna like. There are other canons with fans who are fine admitting they just like playing in the canon world but not the canon itself that much.

No, the problem is hellers are not content to just enjoy their non-canon interpretations in fandom. They feel entitled to flood any and every tag associated with the show, trying to demand their interpretations be considered indisputably canon fact because ... reasons ... and anyone who doesn't agree with them is A Bad Person because ... they say so. Their ship is the greatest love story (n)ever told, the best representation evar in media! It's the only important thing about SPN - and if they couldn't change the canon, they can change the fandom narrative! The fact there's actually no there there under their overblown thousands upon thousands of words of inept meta is why the very suggestion it's not canon, that someone doesn't see it as the greatest thing ever, that maybe Dean is actually just a heterosexual instead of putting on an elaborate performance of one or even that Sam might not be the straightest character ever written? Is taken as an attack upon their self-declared status as the real main audience. Which makes sense, because they never were. SPN was anything but subtle as to what its actual focal relationship was.

To some extent I get how they echo-chambered each other into believing their ship was/would be a thing in canon. If you just look at the size of the piles on piles of cherry-picked nonsense they accumulated over the years without actually engaging your brain to see how variously flimsy, out of context, or how many other more sensible interpretations there were for any of them? If you wanted to believe and surrounded yourself with others who did, too, and kept talking each other up, spending way more time doing that than watching the show? It's no wonder some of them ended up with really skewed expectations.

What I don't get is how they're still going this long after the show ended. SPN is over and there's no more 'Well, next season for sure!' to promise themselves. There are increasingly more stories out there now in a variety of media which are centering deliberately, openly LGBT+ characters and relationships they could invest in championing! Hell, just saying screw canon and burying themselves in writing their idea of "better" fanfic is a perfectly reasonable way to deal with disappointment, no matter how self-inflicted. Instead, they're still here making up elaborate conspiracies about how SPN was something other than what it blatantly obviously always was - because admitting they were wrong and the only thing they ever liked about it was their own OOC fanfic very, very loosely based off of it? Well, that's more than a bit embarrassing in light of how long they spent campaigning and how vehement they were about it totally being not just A Thing but The Most Important Thing Ever. So I don't know what would actually get them to move on, they clearly love being miserable and wrong and pretending to be martyrs over it far too much for me to comprehend.

[marcymcgee]

I was thinking about all that happened the past couple of days, read a lot of post about everyone's opinion and i just realized : This is true hell. Like nobody wins, nobody can win, the eyewatcher made sure of that. From the very beginning by forcing the cubitos into groups and then laying down the rules (kill or be kill). You could say they could rebel, but how ? they got no weapons, no tools, no food, they don't know where they are and everything is trying to kill them. In that kind of situation your instinct goes into survival mode. And that's the start of the end, by going survival mode, they put their own wants over the relationship they had with others. We could argue that blue team start the chaos by killing teams but what else could they do ? Their biome is ice and woods, nothing else. When you have nothing you go search for ressources. Basically team blue was setted up to failure, because they either die of hunger or kill to survive. (i'll argue that red was also setted up for failure with their dry biome and it was a bet of who will attack who first) And by forcing one team to attack another, the eye knew that it was just the start of a snowball running down a hill. Blue team attacking first is still use as the excuse for everything everyone does now. And I can't blame the other team for thinking like that. Their only perspective was "we were defenceless and blue came to kill us". It's also worse noting that this first "betrayal" made any alliance almost impossible. Because from then on it was always "how could we trust [...] when they did that to [...]". And this is how we have all the team being ok with a tie in score but then each individuals start doubting because of past behavior of other individuals. Only a drop of doubt is enough to make a whole team change, and that's without counting the individuals who do thing without anyone's notice. This is how you get red team wanting to win the day instead of green for a tie, green team to attack the blue egg or blue team to complete task on the finale day. Nobody trust anyone anymore (except maybe the guapaduo and bagina). Anyway it's a hige rant and i don't even know if it does make sense as i'm just word-vomiting in my second language. But the summary is they were forced to betray each other from the start, the eye never really gave them a chance. Think of it like the explanation of good and evil in The Good Place. They were doomed to fail. In the case of the purgatory, i have a feeling the eye doesn't care about how win or lose, he just wanted to take the last thing our cubitos still had, their relationship with the others. Basically their last strand of hope/help/sanity.

[anti-endo-safe-space]

omg i have been dyyying to say this but if i say this on my blog i will get burned at the stake by endos & supporters ;-;

imo, if being 'endogenic' just meant someone with a CDD who didn't form from trauma i'd be like 'hey.. as far as current science goes, that has not been supported as something that can happen, however if your therapist & whoever else diagnosed you can agree that you *do not have any trauma* yet have a CDD then i guess you're fine & i'm okay to interact with you'

but that's not what they usually mean. it's now an umbrella term & heavily associated with willowgenic, xeno-origins, western """tulpamancy""" & other froms of non-disordered, non-medical & non-traumagenic plurality. which is not my experience at all & therefore it makes me uncomfortable that they're still using medical language, being in CDD spaces, etc.

that's what i have a problem with! & that first type of endo that i talked about 99.999999% of the time engages with & supports the second group of endos strongly.

i hope that makes sense...? thanks for this blog xoxo gossip girl

That's why even our personal blog is firmly anti-endo (most support we ever got was from our anti-endo post lol).

Exactly! We're firm believers in science, and does psychology always know everything? No. I mean, we're autistic (which if in future posts we don't say it, some of us like Lucie hate to label himself as autistic because some of us (like me, Reg) are affected much stronger than others) and that wasn't a diagnosis until the 1940s. Even then it didn't start getting regularly diagnosed for decades AFTER that. But when studies and psychology have shown yeah you need trauma? I mean agree to disagree with them, please don't interact with our pages due to our issues with endos. We won't hate on you, don't hate on us (we had several endos who told us to kill ourselves for being anti-endo and we deserved our trauma)

I'm sorry but we will DIE on the hill that willogenic and shit are fake as hell (which we hate to use tulpagenic because tulpamancy is a very closed practice to certain regions of the Buddhist faith).

It makes sense don't worry Gossip Girl. If anyone gives you shit, we're here to vent to or ask advice, we don't care.

We've decided we'll add this to the end of all our posts due to a comment we had of "ha imagine this taking off", endos aren't valid or real. Try to come after us with that and we're going to just laugh at you and block you.