#actually system

[echoes-in-the-multiverse]

DID and The Grand Unified Theory

Personal Post. Mentions of Fusion and Splitting.

Written by Oliver.

As the host of a system of quantum, particle, and nuclear physicists, I have found comfort in relating our disorder's elements to physics concepts. These concepts help them feel less scary and more manageable to accept. Today, I will discuss the Grand Unified Theory and how it has helped me interpret, understand, and come to terms with the ideas of Splitting and Fusion in our system. However, this is not an educational post on splitting and fusion in (Dissociative Identity Disorder) DID systems. Those will be separate posts. This post is my symbolic interpretation of these concepts in a simplified way to aid in acceptance. I want to share what we have done, as it may help other systems do the same with topics they are interested in and help them come to terms with their disorder. 

So, what is the Grand Unified Theory?

Simply put, it attempts to combine three of the four fundamental forces in the universe into one singular force at the start of the universe. 

These forces are the Electromagnetic force, which acts between charged particles (such as two protons with a positive charge), the strong nuclear force, which holds the nucleus of an atom together, and the weak nuclear force, which is responsible for types of radioactive decay. The fourth fundamental force is Gravity, which acts between any two objects with mass regardless of distance. The ultimate goal of the theory is to combine all the forces into one singular force at the start of the universe, and then model when each force splits off into its separate fundamental force. This would combine classical physics (gravity) with quantum physics. 

How do I use this theory to bring comfort to myself? 

The idea of unity:

Even though these forces are now very distinct and have grown more distinct as time went on, they all have an underlying unified and linked identity. In the same way, dissociative identities in DID are distinct but not completely separate personalities; they are fractions of one whole. So, even when things are tough or unmanageable, or when people do not get along (similar to how gravity does not fit into the theory right now), there is something that will hold us together ultimately, and there is a chance of unification. 

Splitting over time:

In the theory, if gravity can be combined into it, it is believed that gravity split from the electronuclear force at the end of the Plank era. This is so early in the universe that not even subatomic particles existed yet. The Electronuclear force split into the electroweak force and strong nuclear force, and then split again into the electromagnetic force and the weak nuclear force. This initial split at the beginning of the universe could represent the initial split the brain must undergo during early childhood to develop DID. However, the theory also represents how those splits may change or not change. An alter may not split again after their initial split; they would be, like gravity, and remain the same but develop more distinctly over time. Or, they may split again, just like the electronuclear force did. These splits can occur later in life if trauma is experienced again. 

Fusion:

This theory brings both the comfort that fusion can work and that it is also okay if it does not. The theory is not perfect and cannot combine all four forces; similarly, a system, may not be able to fully fuse, perhaps only fuse into two or three final forms,  because of trauma, or may not have the skills to do so yet, and that is okay. If the theory is wrong, we will find another way to explain the universe, just like if fusion is not possible, we will find a way to progress through life. Some may also strive to reach the stage where they can form a final fusion, but this does not have to happen right away and can take a long period in therapy. 

Energy conversions and fusion:

Fusion can be a scary concept because it will change the alter and the way the system will function later on. As dissociative identities fuse, it begins to restore the unity of the psyche, it coalesces experiences, memories, and feelings. This mirrors the principle of energy in physics, where it states that energy cannot be created or destroyed but transferred from one state to another. This means that even though that alter appears to be gone they will forever exist even though it is in a new form. Their experiences, memories, and work they have contributed to survival will always remain within the individual unity.

Written by Oliver.

Personal Post. Mentions of Fusion and Splitting.

[sophieinwonderland]

Reminder: there are not two equal sides to syscourse.

There is a hate group that attacks and bullies people for their neurodivergencies or spiritual beliefs. That denies all science and the opinions of literally every academic paper that's affirmed the existence of endogenic and non-disordered plurality.

And then there are the endogenic and mixed origin plurals who are fighting for our right just to exist without being harassed by said hate group.

[theselfishmachiness]

i never understood the systems who said having alters is like having friends. cause no matter how many alters im on good terms with, talking to them doesn’t feel like talking to friends. asking an opinion and getting an answer feels lesser than asking an opinion from a friend and getting a response. sometimes talking to an alter is nice but it’s not truly socializing.

[anti-endo-safe-space]

It kinda rubs us the wrong way when someone says "traumagenic system". You mean, a system? plain and simple?

Because "traumagenic" implies you can be a system by other means that are not trauma, what is... obviously wrong.

What are even those "-genic" things mean. What do you mean :3genic? Willowgenic?? Sillygenic??? What do you mean programmed system????

I will never understand those terms endos use. I swear, it's all just so confusing.

— Wysteria, from Ballad Of The Royals.

Hey Wysteria, agree with everything you said EXCEPT for programmed systems. From what we understand, those tend to be a type of system where they've gone through extreme cult like abuse and it causes a split. We're not experts but it's something to look into. Those are a legit system

Also we use it here simply to make it known we're anti-endo

[angelbvn]

INTROJECT APPRECIATION POST!!!!!

shout to system who have factives of people they are still around irl and deal with that <33 you’re so strong >:D

shout out to fictives who don’t have any or very little connection with their source!! you’re still vv special and unique ^^

shout out to system who split introject super easy!! it doesn’t make you any less valid <33

shout out to factives who have a hard time dealing with the fact they’re sourced from a real person. you’re still you’re own person <33

shout out to fictives who have strong connection with their source and therefore don’t interact with it much! <333 *nom*

other systems feel free to add onto this post!! <33

[the-neurostar]

you can't handle the uber instinct of our uber autism. obverse :forms multiple introjects of the same source/character:

[manyminded]

I think origin-discourse is stupid.

I’ve known I was plural for 4 years now. In the “real world” (If there is such a thing) I am afraid. I never speak about it outside closed doors. I have never met another system irl. I long, desperately, clawing at the floor with wet eyes begging the gods that someone like me is out there.

This is a large terror. All encompassing. Plurality is my whole life, yet it’s impossible to talk about it in the world. It’s not safe. Never was.

So - what. What? What if the first system I meet is anti-endo? What if we have different opinions on this discourse?

Do you understand how small this is? It’s such a small trait in the grand scheme of things. I do not care if you’re pro- or anti-endo. I care that you’re alive and here. No one cares about your origin! No one gives a shit! You’re stuck in an echo chamber! Stop hating others to feel safety!

WE ARE NOT OPPRESSED BECAUSE OF HOW WE FORMED. WE ARE OPPRESSED BECAUSE WE ARE DIFFERENT, PERIOD.

[enigmatic-freaks]

man having fictives / being a fictive is so fucking strange. ill be scrolling thru a media that i like or something and see an image, and ill be like “THATS MY GUY!” and said guy will go “this makes me miserable. all my friends are dead.” and we stare at one another in silence

[echoes-in-the-multiverse]

Dissociative Seizures

Educational post. Trigger warnings: Medical equipment and description of seizure. 

Written by Tom and Blade.

Why will we cover this? 

Although dissociative seizures are not exclusive for those with dissociative disorders. Some people with dissociative disorders will have seizures.

A dissociative seizure is named differently in different parts of the world. 

I will be referring to them as dissociative seizures or Non-epileptic attack disorder (NEAD). 

However, may also be seen as a one of the many symptoms/types of Functional neurological disorders (FND) its matching term in the ICD-11 is Dissociative neurological symptom disorder. And this post will focus specifically on only the non epileptic seizures. 

It is also known as Psychogenic non-epileptic seizures (PNES), Non-epileptic seizures, and Psychogenic seizures.

If you have known these as "pseudo seizures", it is asked that this is no longer a term that should be used because the name suggests that the seizures are not real or faked by the individual having them or cannot have an ever lasting impact.

What causes a dissociative seizure?

Unlike epileptic seizures they are not caused by abnormal electrical activity in the brain.

A person can get triggered by sensations, thoughts, emotions and difficult situations. Memories of painful events can suddenly come into thoughts or awareness or a build up of stress can happen in a moment. The dissociative seizure can happen as a way to cut off stress or bad memories so that they are not relieved. This can cause a person to start to dissociate. This is when they will feel disconnected from the world around them or make it seem like the world is not real. The brain will "shut down" to protect itself from overwhelming stress. The seizure then happens because the emotional reaction of the person becomes physical.  It is known that extreme emotional distress can cause illnesses and disorders such as non epileptic seizures. 

Some people who have dissociative seizures have them caused by traumatic events. For some they may happen after the event or for others they could start years later. They may start to happen suddenly with no apparent reason at the moment. However, in some people they can be caused by the build up of stress overtime.

When seizures start they can be triggered by stressful or frightening events, even the worry of having a seizure can trigger one. They could also occur spontaneously in non stressful events. Patients may not be able to understand why seizures happen as for some it is hard to recognise the level of stress they are feeling.

What do dissociative seizures look like?

Dissociative seizures can look different from person to person.

You could have episodes of uncontrolled movements, sensations or behaviour. Some dissociative seizures may look more like epileptic seizures or may look more like fainting. Someone may have palpitations, sweat, hyperventilate and have a dry mouth. Someone may fall on the ground or have jerking and shaking movements either on one side or the whole body. A person may lose control of their bladder or bowels and may also bite their tongue. Some people may go unresponsive to people around them and may stare and go blank.

Having seizures caused by a delayed response to a traumatic event may be a part of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In these seizures a person may have flashbacks, scream or cry and they may not remember the seizure afterwards.

Diagnosis of dissociative seizures.

A specialist will have many ways to tell whether the seizures are epileptic or not. The doctor may be able to tell from detailed descriptions of the seizures or a video of one happening. However, a doctor may ask someone to have an electroencephalogram (EEG) to determine whether electrical changes occur within the person's brain during a seizure. It may also be suggested for a person to have a video-telemetry. This could be done as an inpatient in a hospital or at home. A person will wear EEG equipment for a few days and is linked to a camera. This means that during a seizure the EEG and a video of it happening can be taken at the same time. 

Brain scans such as Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) or Computed Tomography Scan (CT) scans may also be done to rule out any neurological cause for these seizures. 

Treatment for dissociative seizures.

Patients may also be asked to see a psychiatrist or psychologist. They can offer Treatment such as psychotherapy, stress-reduction (such as relaxation and biofeedback training), and personal support to help you cope with their seizures. 

Talking therapy is useful to understand if there are triggers for the seizures and ways to manage these triggers in daily life. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is often recommended.

Medication will not help treat non epileptic seizures so they will only be suggested if the patient also has epileptic seizures. Taking medication for non epileptic seizures can cause side effects and do not benefit the person.

It is recommended to keep a normal daily routine. And to make sure that their family and friends are aware and understand. This will mean they will likely be able to help the person in a seizure and prevent harm.

First aid for dissociative seizures (Outsider's perspective):

DO:

- Make sure the person is safe. This can include moving objects away from them. If the person is lying on the floor, put a cushion/something soft under their head.

- Speak Calmly and in a reassuring way to the person

- Non epileptic seizures do not cause damage to the brain no matter how long it happens BUT if you are not sure if it is a dissociative seizure and lasts more than 5 minutes an ambulance must be called. If it is epileptic then a seizure longer than 5 minutes can damage the brain. (Again important to note this is advice given by the NHS of the UK)

- Stay with the person until they have recovered

DO NOT:

- Do not restrain the person. This can cause injury and make the seizure worse.

- Do not put anything in the person's mouth 

- Do not attempt to give medication

Self-help tips:

- Write down how you are feeling

- Continue to live normally and not become over cautious. This can help to speed up recovery. It is important to talk to your employer about these seizures and make clear your colleagues know what to do as well.

- Eat and Sleep well

- Build up self confidence

- Green exercise is a great way to boost your mood by being outside even if it is for a short while. Going for a walk outside.

- Fitness programmes can be found online and most can be done from your home 

- Remaining positive 

The sources we have used for this information also have more information on disability rights and benefits for those with dissociative seizures. And on driving regulations. However, these are only applicable to the UK. 

Resources we have used to create this article:

Epilepsy Society: https://epilepsysociety.org.uk/about-epilepsy/what-epilepsy/non-epileptic-seizures

Epilepsy Action: https://www.epilepsy.org.uk/info/seizures/dissociative-seizures-non-epileptic-attack-disorder-nead

Sheffield Teaching Hospital document: https://www.sth.nhs.uk/clientfiles/File/pd3922_NonEpilepticSeizures.pdf

Non-Epileptic Attacks: https://sites.google.com/sheffield.ac.uk/non-epileptic-attacks/home.

Further information:

People's experiences: 

Documentary film https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MA1EYAg9y5k. Photosensitive Epilepsy Trigger Warning at (9:14 - 9:30 ) and at (45:25 - 46:18)

Websites for more information: 

NeuroKid: https://www.neurokid.co.uk/ - This is a website for children and young people with dissociative seizures but also has information for parents of these children. The website is also available in French at https://www.neurokid.co.uk/fr/.

Non-Epileptic Attacks: https://sites.google.com/sheffield.ac.uk/non-epileptic-attacks/home. A page written by professionals. They have more resources and go into more detail about the self help we have addressed.

FNH Hope UK: https://www.fndhope.org.uk/about-fnd-hope/fnd-hope-uk/. Has fundraising challenges across the UK. They also have online classes such as dance, painting, mindful meditation and yoga.

Charities:

FND Action: https://www.fndhope.org.uk/about-fnd-hope/fnd-hope-uk/. They can provide ID cards for those in the UK struggling with dissociative seizures. 

Brain Charity: https://www.thebraincharity.org.uk/condition/non-epileptic-attack-disorder/. Provides Emotional support and social support for those in the UK and has a helpline. 

Trigger warnings: Medical equipment and description of seizure. Educational post.

[cynicisystem]

y'know what? I'm in a mood have a non-endo related syscourse post

alter age and alter maturity aren't the same

what we mean by that is that some alters might be older than the body but they may be much closer to the mentality or maturity of someone younger than the body and vice versa

blanket statements like "littles (or alters under (blank) age) can't consent" just aren't gonna be true for every system or for every alter in one given system, just because some littles can't consent and some older alters can doesn't mean that's how all of those alters are

it's up to a system to decide what alters can consent and what alters can't, based on how said alter is, not others and not just purely based on alter age

tl:dr alter age and body age are different, it's up to individual systems to decide what alters can consent

(consent is not just sexual it includes other big decisions as well)

[sophieinwonderland]

Hell???

Wait... That's it???

I was expecting some sort of horror story out of this. And yes, I've heard plenty. I get that dissociative disorders are terrible for a lot of people. Especially when you get into the PTSD symptoms, the amnesia, hostile alters, etc.

I can understand why many systems struggle with their plurality.

But this? Really?

To me, Hell is being alone. It's being hurt and struggling to deal with it, and needing someone only to have nobody there with you. I would never want to trade my head family for a little bit of privacy.

Got it. Into the anti-endo tags this goes!

Because if anti-endos are setting the standard that you can invade inclusive spaces and fill them with hate then I'm going to follow their lead!

[theselfishmachiness]

repeat it with me, alters cannot be replacement for social interaction! you can be friends but they cannot make up for the fact that humans are social animals, and need social interaction!

[anti-endo-safe-space]

ngl the pure CONCEPT of endogenic systems is actively offensive

Agreed anon, highly highly agree

[cheshiire-warper]

Fireplace Introject [left] // Term for intorjects that feel mostly positive about their source, either in general or specifically in the context of being an introject

Ryefield Introject [right] // Term for introjects that feel mostly negative about their source, either in general or specifically in the context of being an introject

These are intended to be broad, as it's entirely based on personal experience. 'Introject' can be replaced with any term you prefer (fictive, factive, faitive, etc)

Blank flags

Remakes of our original fireplace/ryefield introject flags

Neutral / Complex feelings toward source

Pt: Fireplace Introject [left] / Ryefield Introject [right] / Blank flags /end pt

[anti-endo-haven]

we’re in a big server with a ton of endos and its so uncomfortable 😭 they constantly “sys hop” to each other to flirt or front in each other’s systems and its like “you guys literally talk the same. [x] from [y] system talks the same as [y] from [x] system nothing changed you just registered a bot for the other person.”

and its also frustrating for a silly reason. like watching them giggle and kick their feet over “u should open ur gateway again i wanna see my little sunshine pookie wookie” (exaggerated but still) and it makes us upset because why cant WE visit our partner systems… like i know its not a real logical thing, you cant jump into others consciences, but damn sometimes it makes me think im doing something wrong

on a funnier note we tried to genuinely ask about syshopping and how they do it and ladada and lo and behold they basically went “just imagine youre somewhere… no not like an ACTUAL place… its like really hard to explain sorry :/“ and ignored further questions (its obviously not hard to explain if they’d managed to wrangle ~4 other endos in that server alone to do the same thing)

I really hate that endos still use a term meant for RAMCOA systems. It was meant as a term for anyone high enough (such as gatekeeper, communicator [what we call them], etc.) to be able to communicate and inform sub/side systems what’s going on and to report back on what’s going on.

Like… it’s not supposed to be “oh, yeah, I can travel to someone else.”

If you want to fucking role play with your friends, do so. Stop taking community terms away from us.

And, yeah, it would be nice for those that can’t see their partner systems to be able to see them, but it’s impossible to unless it’s in person/through call (which sucks).

Endos can’t even back half of their claims up, I’ve grown to realize that. They want to say one thing and they know that it’s not possible but they want to continue saying as such.

[spiderversesys]

We normally make every sys post kinda light hearted and fun but.

Being a system isn't just "oh silly fun times". It's days being dissociated. Days where your angry for no reason just because maybe an anger holder is co-con/co-front and you didn't know.

Some days it's relying on other headmates to handle things. Some days it's having to handle on your own because they've gone silent.

Some day's it's pure hell.

So yeah, sometimes being a system can be a little fun but more often then not it can be hard, hurtful, hell sometimes debilitating.

Just some food for thought

-????, 🌌 (very very very blurry)