#I fully realised I was a lesbian because of her and now...

[umbratheshadowfamiliar]

Me as the most gigantic lesbian in the world watching the new Philosophytube Video where Abigail does drag as the arsonist:

[cryptidotter]

Something I love about the romance in The Locked Tomb is how Gideon as our first POV narrator is like "this is Harrowhark Nonagesimus, she thrives on scorn and ambition and death" and as a seasoned enemies-to-lovers fan, my first reaction was "I love it, I support women's rights and wrongs, and I can't wait to see this cold evil character discover feelings eventually" but then the plot twist is actually that Harrow is a pathetic desperate emo who barely needs an excuse to say the most romantic shit imaginable.

Which is already a good payoff and the characterization is superb, but then you see inside Harrow's head in the next book and discover that despite her trauma and 35 mental illnesses, she is so much of a fucking soft marshmallow simp that not even her DIY lobotomy can keep her from indulging in a coffeeshop AU (?!?!) to soothe her yearning soul. Which makes rereading GtN delightful because now you can read between the lines and realise like "oh wow, she was down bad the whole time and Gideon just didn't notice". It gives so much lesbian Pride and Prejudice that you can only fully appreciate during a reread. I adore it.

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Hi! This is a (kinda nsfw) request for the Moon Knight Boys or only Steven, whichever you’re comfortable with!

So, reader is usually loosely trimmed or has fully grown hair „down there”. One day she decides to surprise her vigilante boyfriends and shaves everything off or maybe leaves a cute little heart on top?? Either way I’d love to know how they’d react.

(I myself am female but please write for which gender you’re most comfortable with)

~Cherry Bomb Anon 💖💖💖

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, I realise now that I misread this!

Anyway, it's now Marc and Steven with the shaved heart.

Glue It Back On

Steven Grant x Marc Spector x gn!Reader • Rating: mature pals • Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • buy me a coffee? •

Warnings: This is just Marc and Steven having a conversation really, I'm so sorry, swearing, not beta read, please let me know if I have missed a warning!

Word Count: 851

“They’re gonna hate it, they’re gonna hate it. Fuck.”

“Shit.” 

“Fuck.”

“Shit,” Steven chews his bottom lip, “what if we shave it all off?” 

“All of it?”  Marc answers from the bathroom mirror. 

Steven nods. “All of it, like,” he motions with his hands. “Gone.”

“Bald?” 

“No, not bald Marc, it wouldn’t be bald, our, our-”

“Our balls would be bald.” 

“I was thinking more like, we just shave the top… bit?” 

“And nothing else?” Marc frowns in thought. “Wouldn’t that look-”

“Weird, yeah.” Steven sighs defeatedly. “It would. Like we just stopped halfway, and if we do it like a really neat line that will look like, ‘woah, too much effort here’, and if we don’t it’ll look a mess.” 

Marc nods. “Look, I know this isn’t helpful, but I don’t want to shave it all off. Because, one,” he holds up his forefinger. “I think it’ll look weird, you know like in porn, hairless balls just make me think of turkey wattles.” 

Steven pauses. “Wattles?” 

“Like the turkey red neck flappy thing.” 

“Oh, I didn’t know that it was called that.” He nods a little, then shakes his head, trying to stay focused. “You think shaved balls look like that?” 

“Kinda.”

“Kinda?” He says, unimpressed.

“Yeah, look, I’m not the vegan who gets freaked out by certain types of mushrooms-”

“We’ve been over this, I heard Michael say in the break room that mushrooms on pizza looked like slugs, and I can’t unsee it, it’s not fair to-”

Marc holds up his hands. “I’m sorry, okay, sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that all up again like that.” 

Steven nods. 

“They just look weird to me.” 

Steven’s lip twitches in a smile and Marc braces himself for whatever is about to come. “Is that what you say to yourself to justify only watching lesbian porn?” 

“Don’t.”

“Is it?” Steven grins. 

“I don’t just watch lesiban porn.” 

Steven scoffs. “Firstly, you do. Second, what’s wrong with watching lesbian porn?” 

Marc gives him a glare. “You’re the one that brought this up!”

Steven grins, enjoying seeing Marc squirm a little. “I did. So, why do you only watch lesibian porn?” 

“Fuck off.” 

Steven chuckles. “Spoil sport.” 

“You’re a bully.” Marc smiles. 

“What was your second point anyway?” 

“What?” 

“You’re second point? First was our balls would look like a turkey if we shave them, what was the other?” 

“Oh, I think it’ll itch like hell when the hair starts to grow back if we use the razor.” 

Steven nods, thinking. “Yeah, I bet you’re right on that one.” He sighs again, his shoulders slumping. “But what are we gonna do?” 

“We could glue it back on?” Marc says, only half joking.

“Marc.” He gives him the disappointed teacher voice. “We are not glueing hair back onto our.. Our… area.” 

“Area?” 

“You’re worried about it itching growing back, what the fuck do you think it’s gonna feel like with glue?” 

“Area? Steven, are we fucking three?” 

Steven puts his hands on his hips. “Is that what you’re focusing on right now?” 

“Well, yeah? Area?” 

“What would you call it then? Hmm?” 

Marc opens his mouth and then pauses.

“See, see?” Steven gestures at Marc, “What the fuck is it?”

“It’s the bit above the dick.” 

“Yeah, but what is that called? Like the actual name?” 

Marc thinks and then frowns. “Steven, I don’t fucking know, why is this important?”

“You made it important.” Steven grabs his phone from the side.

“What are you doing?” Marc sighs.

“I’m looking it up.”

“Steven.” 

“I want to know.” 

“Steven.” 

“All I can think of is pubic mound, but is that like, the word for everyone?” 

Marc shakes his head slightly as he pulls a face. “For everyone? What do you mean?”

“Like for all genders.”

“Oh…” Marc thinks again. “Maybe…” He leans forward as if he could see Steven’s phone from his angle. 

“See? You’re interested now.” 

He nods. “Yeah.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Don’t get too excited about it.” He huffs.

Steven rolls his eyes, and then quickly reads. “Okay, it is the pubic mound for everyone.” 

“Okay.” 

“We’ve learnt something.” 

“Doesn’t really help with our current situation, does it?” 

Steven puts his phone down and rubs his eyes, “Ugggghhhh, what if we just say, ‘Love, I tried to shave a heart into my pubic hair because I thought it would be funny and sweet and now I’m like what the fuck have I done?’” 

You knock on the bathroom door and both Steven and Marc jump at the same time. 

“Erm,” Steven scrambles with the towel around his waist before he opens the door with a flourish. “I-”

“I got back about ten minutes ago.” You give him a soft smile. “I’ve been listening to your side of the conversion, with rapt attention.” You tease playfully. 

Steven closes his eyes and chuckles bashfully. 

“If it’s any help,” you give his cheek a quick kiss. “I think the heart sounds lovely.” 

“Show them!”

Steven rolls his eyes, turning his head to pull a face at Marc’s reflection. “You wanted to glue it back on a second ago.” 

Thank you for reading!

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[beiyuanism]

fully inspired by this post. i was initially going to put this in the tags in a reblog, but no one deserves to be hit with this wall of text in their notifications. anyway - never give annabelle a gun is amanda wilson's favorite western.

so. hear me out. mr wilson is a huge fan of westerns, and amanda pretty much grows up on winnetou movies and shit, because that's all that plays on their tv at all times. one time, he gets this entire box of westerns on dvd on clearance, and he and amanda make it A Thing Of Theirs that they watch one of these movies maybe every day over the summer holidays, or at least as often as they can. and one of those movies is never give annabelle a gun. i can picture this pretty much straightbaiting dvd cover with annabelle and henry front and center, and butch just somewhere in the background, or maybe even not there at all, so they don't really know what they're in for. and i'm ngl, i think mr wilson is a little worried as he realises what relationship the movie is actually setting up, because he's not exactly feeling ready for the "what's a lesbian, dad?" talk, but amanda doesn't ask, so he doesn't offer, and the movie ends, and he's glad to move on.

except, amanda becomes fully obsessed with it for a while. like, she watches it over and over on the family tv every time her dad isn't home, she tries to dress like annabelle and butch, but she doesn't exactly have cowgirl-esque clothes in her closet, so it doesn't really work, etc etc. she keeps talking to clarissa about the movie so much that clarissa finally agrees to watch it with her, but she decides that it's boring halfway through and they never finish it. and after that amanda maybe stops watching it so much, and then maybe the dvd gets misplaced somewhere, and she slowly forgets about it.

until years later, as a teenager already, she's going through some boxes in the attic, and one of those boxes is full of her dad's old westerns that he now just watches on the internet. she looks through the dvds, trying to remember some of the titles she hasn't seen her dad watch in a while to remind him about, when she comes across never give annabelle a gun. she gets hit with this wave of nostalgia, she knows she used to love this movie, but she doesn't really remember anything about the plot itself, so she takes it downstairs to her room and puts it on, curious.

she sobs for a good half an hour after finishing it. and maybe she doesn't even know why, because she hasn't realised she's a lesbian yet, much less that she's in love with clarissa, but the movie stirs something in her, and she feels almost physically sick for the next few days. after that, she watches it every time she needs a good cry, and then, when she accepts that she's a lesbian, she watches it for the good kind of tears and the happy lesbian couple. and THEN, when she realises she's in love with clarissa, it becomes bittersweet again. especially after clarissa and mark start dating slash it starts to seem they're serious about each other. she sees herself in the way butch is obliviously pining for annabelle and the way annabelle keeps saying stupid things whenever she tries to confess (i mean, amanda proposed a threesome instead of telling clarissa not to marry mark. she could just as well ask her to rob a bank together when she wants to say she loves her), and, hell, she sees mark in henry, even though sometimes, when she's feeling less mean, she has to admit mark is nowhere near henry's levels of creepiness and most of it comes from her just not liking him.

(and then maybeeee after mark and clarissa inevitably get divorced - because i don't believe they're lasting more than a year - clarissa is in such a weird and apathetic mood that she hasn't even cried for weeks, and she's having trouble processing everything, so amanda, without really thinking about it, suggests that they watch this one movie that always makes her cry when she needs it. she's shaking the whole time they're watching it, because the second butch appears on the screen, she remembers why exactly she cries over this particular movie, and something about it seems dangerous. like clarissa is going to realise amanda is in love with her just because her favorite movie is a lesbian western. meanwhile, clarissa is a little confused, because by the time they get to the helium bit, it mostly seems like a stupid comedy. but then butch gets kidnapped, and clarissa is suddenly wiping tears away. she doesn't see the lesbian couple setup at all btw, but when annabelle and her dad are having that conversation about butch, she's full on sobbing, and when annabutch finally kiss, she literally stops breathing for a moment. she doesn't yet know why. but she will soon.)

[midniiights-garden]

Mizu realising she's in love/a lesbian [Headcanons!!]

(A/N: I feel like this is like... already a given but please remember that these are HEADCANONS!! She does not have a canon sexuality. And I know it's mostly the lesbians who haven taken over the show but my content is available for everyone to see and I wanted to remind everyone that I am not going to tolerate slander or trash talking because of a personal opinion. You are entitled to your thoughts and I am entitled to mine.)

Possible TWs!!: Mentions of sex and sexual encounters, M*kio (you cannot stop me from putting this man as a warning I hate him sm), Canon typical violence, Racisim, Homophobia, Mysogyny (did I spell that right??)

Firstly I wanna address her relationship with Mikio in order to fully understand my headcanons.

Personally I do not believe that Mizu actually "loved" Mikio in the romantic sense. She thought she was in love, but in the end it wasn't.

Speaking as someone with a lot of personal trauma regarding relationships myself I realised that I couldn't differentiate between romantic and platonic love. Basically, for me, all I saw was that someone was treating me nicely for once and now I'm attached to them. And for the longest time I thought that was what love was.

And I think Mizu experienced something similar.

Basically, when Mikio treated her like a fucking human being she was like "oh, hey this is nice. This is weird, but it's nice. So I guess I'm in love, right?"

Like, no, baby. You aren't. That's just called emotional trauma.

That's also why she thought she was straight for the longest time because she genuinely cannot tell when she likes someone romantically.

As I often restate it'll take a while for her to fully understand the extent of her emotions, but she'll get there.

Now onto the fluffier stuff :))

~~~

How does she realise she's in love? What's her reaction to it?

I think she gets hit with the realisation as if it were a train crashing into her.

It's just a normal evening, she's probably at a ramen shop with her future S/O with her and then as she's taking a bite of her ramen she looks over at you and thinks: "Huh... I wonder what it would be like if I got to hold them?"

And then it's just a record scratch moment for her where she's like wtf where did that come from.

It's either just normal domestic moment like I mentioned or her future S/O sparring with her (which may or not freak her out bc of the fucking Mikio incident).

But when Mizu successfully pins her S/O down they just laugh and smile, knowing Mizu would never hurt them on purpose.

That made Mizu's heart flutter more than anything Mikio had ever done for her.

She's going to be in denial about it for a long time. Like... a really, really long time. Cue the "but we're just friends"!

How does she react when she realises she's into girls?

Due to the internalized homophobia instilled within her as a child and other such thoughts she starts to think she may be going crazy.

She'll start to pull away out of fear, not truly understanding her emotions.

Which, of course, will hurt her future S/O and cause them to worry.

Seeing her future S/O so distraught kind of triggers something in her. She realises that there's nothing inherently wrong with her, that she's still a person and the person she likes is still a person and that there shouldn't be anything wrong with liking her S/O. She also just didn't like seeing you worry over her, it hurt her more than any blade that she's been stabbed with.

Now onto her actual physical attraction.

Once the whole emotional side of it is somewhat sorted in her mind she finds herself not so subtly staring at her S/O's tatas.

She doesn't strike me as someone with high libido or anything despite what I've seen a lot of headcanons say. But I think shes the kind of lover to enjoy getting her S/O off a lottttt

I don't believe she was ever really attracted to Mikio sexually but seeing her S/O's kimono slip off their shoulder to reveal some titty has her red and hot.

She likes that it's soft. She really likes the softness of her S/O's body.

~~~

(A/N: That's all!! I feel like I was terribly self-indulgent with this one but there are a lot of aspects in which I relate to Mizu with. Which is probably why I care a lot about representing her correctly. As usual, feel free to comment or send asks to my inbox!! I hope y'all enjoyed <33)

[stargirlinterludefr]

GOOD LUCK, BABE!: sarah cameron x fem!reader

synopsis: you and sarah are were best friends, she said she wanted to experiment and while she’s everything to you, you’re just an experiment to her. Maybe she was in denial but she realises too late that whatever the two of you had wasn’t ‘nothing’ and she’s forced to stand face to face with i told you so.

TW: hints of homophobia, internalised homophobia, discussion of comphet, drug usage, alcohol consumption, angst, topper, ward actually being a good dad for once, use of y/n, jj being brutally honest

NOTES: sarah is a lesbian in this fic but she struggles heavily with comphet (compulsory heterosexuality) and similar to the song, gets with a man because she can’t accept her sexuality. I have been in the readers situation so writing from experience I suppose.

word count: around 3,010

Driving at sunset in the outer banks is a serene experience, the way the colours dance across the sky and eventually blend into the horizon when you look out upon the sea.

Driving at sunset in the outer banks had always been one of yours and your best friend Sarah’s favourite things to do together, the way you’d drive and she’d stand up through the sun roof of the car, arms our like some kind of angel.

How could you not fall for her?

You were fine with your one sided feelings, truly you were, Sarah was your best friend and you’d already had the conversation about how you didn’t feel anything for her when you eventually came out to her. A big lie, of course, but you just didn’t want to lose her.

So, driving at sunset in the outer banks with the girl you love silently may be foolish to others but it’s a serene kind of peace you’d never want to exchange.

Driving on the same route as usual, you wait for Sarah’s usual routine of pressing on some random Taylor Swift song and standing through the sunroof of her car, but she remains sat in the passenger seat with a mindful expression etched onto her features.

“You okay, Sare?” You ask, taking your eyes off of the desolate road for a moment to glance at her as she hums in response.

“Me? Yeah, ‘course.” She mumbles and you know it’s not true which is why at the next turning that leads to an open space to park, you pull the car over so you can give her your full attention.

“Okay, fess up, you’ve been staring out of the window like you’re contemplating throwing yourself out of the car ever since we got into it.” You say, a slight tease to your tone to help lift her spirits but she simply offers a small smile.

“I want to ask you something…and I-I want you to keep an open mind, okay?” She says after a moments silence and you’re quick to nod, studying the side of her face intently as you wait for whatever thoughts have been bothering her.

“So, you know how you’re gay?” The words have you choking on a breath, eyes widening as you let out a laugh but by the serious look on her face you quickly simmer down.

“Uh yeah, that is uh what I am, big lover of women…why?” You say awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck as Sarah fully turns to look at you now.

“I’ve been thinking that…I might want to like, you know, experiment…” she mumbles and you have to hold your breath to prevent you from choking on it again, “With uh girls…and since your my best friend and the only openly lesbian person I know I thought that maybe I’d…ask you.”

You both stare at eachother for a second, your mind is scrambling and reeling for a response as Sarah’s face becomes increasingly more red.

“I-it’s stupid I know but-“ She starts but you quickly cut her off.

“No, it’s not stupid I uh…I’d be- I mean sure, I’m happy you trust me enough to come to me about this.” You say, clearing your throat as you finish, you know deep down that this is only going to end in tears but if this is the one chance you get to love her without hiding it as much, you don’t want to give it up.

Sarah smiles as she nods in relief, “Yeah? I mean, it obviously won’t mean anything like feelings wise because we’re best friends it’s just like…friends with benefits?” She says and you hate the way your stomach drops slightly but you hide it from her, smiling as you nod.

“Yeah…sure.”

-

One month into yours and Sarah’s ‘nothing’ situation has you realising it isn’t really nothing. Sarah likes to say the two of you are nothing, pointing out she’s merely trying out new things and in turn your getting a good lay.

But the two of you clearly aren’t ‘nothing’ and that becomes increasingly obvious when one of the only people in the world you thought wouldn’t notice the underlying tension, did.

You know Sarah’s brother isn’t blind, he’s always been surprisingly observant and ever since he’d discovered you weren’t interested in men he’d ‘joked’ that you and Sarah would probably end up hooking up eventually.

You now also realise that he wasn’t exactly joking.

“You should call it off, y’know.” A voice sounds from behind where you’re sat on the deck chairs surrounding the large pool at Tannyhill, Sarah having gone inside to make the two of you drinks.

As you turn to see the source of the voice, you’re met with the sight of Rafe’s looming figure. Sunglasses are sat on his face so you can’t see his eyes as he looks at you but when you glance behind him briefly, you can see Sarah conversing with Topper in the kitchen.

“And you’re talking about…?” You trail off, quirking a brow at him as he snorts out a laugh and rounds your deck chair to sit on the one beside you.

“I think you know what I’m talking about, princess.” He states, lying back on his chair nonchalantly as you continue to look at him.

You swallow, you weren’t exactly afraid you and Sarah had been found out but you didn’t want to out her when she didn’t even properly know what her sexuality was yet.

Rafe continues when you remain silent, “I’m just sayin’ kid, I may be her brother but Sarah’s gonna fucking break your heart, she’s never been one to face her feelings.”

You immediately feel defensive, maybe it’s because you love her or maybe it’s because you yourself are in denial. “And you are?”

He lets out a chuckle at that, turning his head to look at you through his sunglasses “Never said I was.” Rafe states before adding, “That’s also how I know whatever it is y’all have going on, it’s gonna end badly, because like me…Sarah can’t face her feelings and she sure as shit is not gonna admit the fact that you love her.”

You don’t even have time to process his words because Sarah and Topper come walking back toward the pool, you turn back to your previous position as Rafe stares at you for a moment before he turns his head back toward the pool.

Sarah and Topper are laughing as she places your drinks on the near by table and an ugly feeling of jealousy coils in your gut as you watch the two of them, the way he stares down at her and the way she bats her eyelashes up at him.

You barely register Rafe’s mutter beside you, “So fucked.”

-

Sarah is kissing you sloppily, her legs wrapped around your waist as you hold her hips, everyone once in a while she lets out soft moans into the kiss before eventually she pulls away to check her phone that buzzes beside you.

You hate when she does that. You hate when she breaks away from you as though nothing at all is happening.

As her eyes flit over the screen you watch as she looks up at you before back down to her phone with a guilty expression,

“Topper?” You hum and she nods, climbing off of your lap and you follow her in standing up. Music is still blaring from downstairs and you feel dizzy from the way Sarah was just kissing you and the alcohol in your system.

“I’ll come find you later, yeah?” She mumbles, eyes not meeting yours before she’s gone out of the room before you can even blink.

She always does that, avoiding your gaze after the two of you had done something that branched away from ‘just friends’ because she couldn’t dare to face up to you and her own emotions.

You sigh, rolling your shoulders as you leave the room shortly after, slowly pushing past sweaty bodies and couples making out as you stumble down the stairs.

As you reach the bottom you come to a slow halt when your eyes latch onto something that makes your head spin.

Sarah kissing Topper. Topper kissing Sarah. Sarah’s kissing Topper. Topper’s kissing Sarah. Sarah’s kissing Topper? Topper’s kissing Sarah?

You feel sick, your heart beats violently in your ears and you can’t force your eyes away. You can’t do anything but stand and stare.

After a moment, Sarah’s eyes open while she and the dreaded boy continue to make out, said eyes dance over to where your stood and you think for a moment she looks guilty but before you can decipher the look…her full attention is back on Topper and you’re left looking like an absolute fool.

-

Sarah finds you around an hour later, stumbling over to where you are sat beside JJ, the two of you sharing a joint.

The Cameron girl smiles widely when she spots you, all but throwing herself to sit on your lap and your jaw ticks in annoyance which you know JJ notices immediately.

“Heyyy, I missed you.” She slurs, hands coming to tangle in your hair as she places a drunken kiss to your lips and then drags them down your neck as JJ clears his throat awkwardly.

“I’ll uh…catch you later.” He says, coming to stand and you nod your head in thanks, not missing the way his eyes all but scream that you have some serious explaining to do.

“Sarah…” You mutter, attempting to lightly draw the girl away from your neck but she doesn’t seem to budge so you pull her away with a slight bit more force and she looks at you with a pout that makes your heart stutter warmly in your chest.

“I think it’s time for-“ You begin but Sarah cuts you off.

“I’m sorry, about Top, I just…you give me all these crazy feelings and I needed them to stop.” She slurs drunkenly, hands coming to cup and squish your cheeks together. “It’s just the way I am, you’re my best friend and Topper’s like soooo sweet.”

Your heart feels like it’s about to plummet, you feel so humiliated but you know she’s drunk and you hope that she maybe remembers what she’s said in the morning but you know that won’t happen.

You gently remove her hands from your cheeks before you awkwardly pat them, “Well uh good luck with that.” You say, already knowing that whatever she was trying to do by kissing Topper was never going to work.

You knew first hand, you’d have to stop the world just to stop these feelings and that would never happen.

-

JJ Maybank was probably one of the only men on the planet you trusted whole heartedly, the boy was your best friend and you loved him like a brother.

Which is why you felt like an asshole for the way he’s looking at you right now.

“You’re tellin’ me kook prince, Rafe Cameron, knew about whatever little sexy mackin’ thing you got going on with Sarah Cameron before I did?” He says, eyebrows raised as his hands wave wildly around “Me? Your best friend, the guy who taught you how to give good head to a gir-“

“Okay! I get it, I’m sorry!” You say loudly, interrupting the route he was going, you know he’s not truly hurt that you didn’t tell him because it’s JJ.

“But seriously bro, what’re you gonna do? Because, not to ever say I agree with Cameron but, she’s totally gonna break your heart.” He rambles, taking a sip from his beer bottle as he comes to sit across from you on the dock the two of you are currently situated at, the dock at the Chateau.

“I don’t know…if it means I don’t have to lose her then maybe I’ll just keep doing it?” You say, shrugging as you watch JJ quirk a brow at you.

“First of all, that’s cliché as fuck, second of all this whole situation is not fair on you at all.” He states, gently nudging your foot with his own. “She’s usin’ you as like some sorta’ experiment and I get it’s hard to come to terms with who you are, I saw it first hand with you, but this shit ain’t fair bro…and it ain’t love.”

You don’t say anything to that, simply nodding as you swallow harshly, turning to look out at the small rippling waves of the water.

-

Sarah is sat on the sofa in the large living room of Tannyhill, eyes boring into the ceiling as she pays no mind to the show playing in the background on the tv.

The sound of her father walking in makes her turn her head and give him a small smile as he comes to sit across from her, ending the call he was on as he looks at her.

“You okay, sweetie?” Ward asks, eyes trained intently on Sarah who nibbles softly at her bottom lip.

“I- uh…yeah- I mean…I don’t know-“ She starts and before she can even get another word out, Ward is sat beside her and pulling his daughter into his arms before the tears fall down her cheeks.

“It’s okay, honey, it’s all gonna be okay.”

All Sarah can do is nod because she doesn’t believe that true, nothings okay with the fact that she could possibly lose you because she can’t understand why she’s feeling these things for you and she feels like her only option is to bail, because while she knows deep down you love her in a way that she’ll never understand…she also knows she’ll fuck it up.

-

Driving through the outer banks at sunset was yours and Sarah’s favourite thing to do together but now, with everything the two of you have been doing, you don’t think you can do these drives without the blinding feeling that nostalgia and Sarah give you.

You pull over similar to the time you did when Sarah brought her idea forward but on this occasion, you’re the one who can’t look at her.

“I’m gonna say something and…I just, need you to listen because…I can only gather so much strength to say it.” You croak out, not daring to look at her because you know she’s already crying and you can’t bear the fact that you could be inflicting pain on the girl you love.

“I love you Sarah…and I tried not to, I really did-“ You choke out, squeezing your eyes closed for a second before reopening them and continuing, “I think I’ve always loved you, before we even became what we are now, but this isn’t what love should be.”

You turn to her then, Sarah’s lips trembling as tears stream down her face and you fight the urge to lean over and take her into your arms.

If you did that, you’d never be able to end this.

“I know you’re confused but…I think you know, deep down, that whatever you feel toward me is real and you’re scared to acknowledge that.” You point out and Sarah lets out a shaky breath at your words.

“You’re my best friend, of course I feel things toward you-“ She attempts to say and you shake your head as you cut her off.

“We’re not just friends, Sarah.” You note, running a hand over your face as the girl beside you crosses her arms over her chest.

“I’m not gay.” She says, her tone so unsure yet so confident that you almost feel guilty for some unknown reason. Guilty for what, exactly? You don’t know, maybe for ending whatever it is you had going on alongside your friendship.

“Come on Sarah-“ You try and she immediately shuts you down, eyes now more angry then they are sad which makes you feel like you physically recoil at the change.

“No, y/n! You’re not making me into something I’m not, just because you’re gay doesn’t mean I have to be too!” She snaps, her words slicing through you violently as you feel a pit of shame curl up in your stomach “I experimented and now I know for sure now I’m not…whatever it is I thought I was.”

You know she’s building up to something so you close your eyes in anticipation for the blow she’s undoubtedly about to deliver.

“Besides, I’m with Topper now so...” You exhale as she says the words, as though she’d physically hit you in the stomach and winded you before you let out a light scoff.

You look to her, her eyes wide and defensive. You simply shake your head before opening the car door, “Topper,” You begin, letting out another scoff before you begin to step out of the car, “Good luck, babe.”

-

Four months after yours and Sarah’s conversation and while you haven’t heard from her, you have heard from Rafe. The Cameron man informing you that Topper and Sarah are having a very…turbulent relationship.

Rafe knows you were the one to end things with his sister, he and JJ being the only ones to actively know that something was going on between you and Sarah. With the exception of Ward who was left to guess what was plaguing his daughter’s thoughts over the last few months.

You feel a form of sympathy as the way everyone only refers to Sarah as ‘Toppers girl’ now. You know you shouldn’t be surprised at it, she never leaves his side and you realised it was her way of trying to prove to herself and to you that whatever feelings she had weren’t romantic.

You knew better and deep down so did she.

As you sit with your friends on the HMS Pogue, sailing across the water you catch sight of Topper’s boat when JJ starts geeking out over the model and price of it.

You also notice Sarah beside him, her face screaming out how unhappy she is without her even needing to say it.

And when your eyes meet hers, you see the unhappiness in her gaze. The facade she puts up and parades around under only extends to so many people and you are not one of them, you know Sarah so deeply and you also know that whatever she’s attempting to prove with Topper isn’t working for her.

And as your two boats come in line with one another, slowly passing, you mime toward the Cameron girl…words you hate to say but you do anyway,

“I told you so.”

[starrylayle]

women (of colour) in severance

an incoherent rambling about the female characters in severance, specifically focusing on Gemma and Helly. Mostly Gemma. A bit of Alexa too. Spoilers under the cut.

Ok so to start off, I absolutely adore all the women characters in severance they're all soo spectacularly written.

I remember when I first started the show, I thought that Helly was going to be the stereotypical, fiery and the only female protagonist whose story started off interesting but in the end her only character purpose was to be Mark's love interest. Boy, was I wrong. First the elevator suicide scene and then the Helena reveal, I knew this show knew how to write women.

Similarly, when Ms. Casey was first revealed, I remember rolling my eyes, thinking, oh look another stereotypical robot-like Asian lady who has no greater character purpose. Then, it was revealed that Ms Casey was (partially?) severed and not a part of the staff like I'd initially assumed. Of course, then the Ms Casey = Gemma reveal happened and I was SHOOK. Like,, you mean to tell me that she is actually an important character with narrative purpose? And Mark's wife -- I had assumed she was a -- white woman -- who would never actually have a character arc and would only be shown in dead-wife-john-wick-style flashbacks to further the plot.

I became so hyped. Two characters, the 'dead' wife and wellness lady, were actually one which meant they (she) would actually have character arcs!! And she's a woman of color!! Woohoo!!

But now that season 2 is progressing, as much as i absolutely adore it, I'm just worried that Gemma/Ms Casey will not have the caharcter arcs I wanted. Especially the theory that Casey is secretly a clone and not actually Gemma,,, or that she's brain dead,, or that she'll die again,, or whatever else. I know that it narratively works, but I just wish there was some way that Gemma/Ms Casey could have a proper character/character arc, even if it resulted in death at the end. I hear a lot of Mark/Gemma and Orpheus/Eurydice parallels which gives me hope because Eurydice is still a fully formed character (at least in the musical Hadestown llolol). I've seen some people theorise that Mark may have romantacised his marriage with Gemma and maybe they weren't as happy as they seemed?? Which I highly doubt, considering the info we were given in 'The You You Are'. Or maybe she secretly worked for Lumon beforehand?? I dunno how I feel about these theories but they would definitely make for an interesting plotline and character arc.

I guess what I've realised is that the show writes white women very well (Helly/helena, Ms Cobelvig and Devon) and their woc counterparts,,, not so much. Still holding out hope for Miss Huang, Reghabi (what is her deal btw?? I must know!!), Natalie and Gemma/Ms Casey, and that they will have fleshed out characters by the end, but who knows.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but Alexa, the woman mark went on a date with, was actually a favourite of mine. I was convinced she was gonna be relevant to the plot lmao. but eh she feels more of the 'disposable Black gf trope' :( tbh I'm still delusional enough to believe she will come back. Maybe if Ricken beomes a sell-out Devon will leave him date Alexa?? Yes I sound like a delusional lesbian but cmon Devon clearly liked her enough to recommend her to Mark?? maybee?/ Anyways this was a tangent. Maybe if they decide to go the Helly got pregnant route (which I hope they don't unless it ends in miscarriage) Alexa will be there coz she's a midwife (or doula?? I hear different ppl say different things??)

Anyways, I know this is all very far from the main narrative so I don't mind too much, I'm just hoping that they fully flesh out Gemma because she, along with Mark and Helly, are at the core of the story.

[strangertheories]

I've been seeing people saying that platonic Stobin is only benefitting Steve or that Robin only exists to redeem Steve from past homophobia and I'd like to politely disagree. I don't think enough people realise just how crucial their friendship was to Robin's character development outside of Steve, so I'll just spell it out here in this long post for the four year anniversary of Robin coming out to Steve.

At the start of S3, Robin is deeply sarcastic and jokingly rude, but this is not entirely what she is actually like deep down and the true Robin doesn't emerge until her and Steve are talking to each other in the bunker. She says that she acts like she doesn't care and that she floats above it all (in reference to popularity) but deep down, she just wants to feel normal and accepted.

But Robin knows she could never be accepted fully because of her attraction to women. If she acts like she doesn't care and holds Steve at an arm's length, it keeps her safe. Robin can't be rejected if she doesn't let him in. She doesn't believe anyone could ever be friends with her if they knew her secrets, so constructs this personality around herself, however deep down she is just insecure and struggling with internalised homophobia.

A lot of people talk about Robin's coming out scene, rightfully so, but I think we need to talk more about what happened before. When Steve tells Robin he's attracted to her, she looks devastated. With her guard let down after a near death experience and drugs, she was finally able to bond with someone who she now has to reject.

At first, she tries to talk Steve out of liking her. She tells him that he doesn't know the real her and that if he did, not only would be not want to date her, but he wouldn't even want to be her friend. This is where it all becomes clear that Robin's sarcasm and refusal to let her guard down is not linked to her sexuality but rather because of it.

This is why Steve accepting her is so crucial for her character from then onwards. For the first time in her life, Robin let someone see her true self, knowing that she would be rejected and lose her only friend. And yet she wasn't. Robin let Steve in and his acceptance finally enabled her to realise that just because she is gay it doesn't mean that she's abnormal or could never be happy. Obviously, there are safety concerns that prevent her from running through the streets of Hawkins with a pride flag, but I believe this acceptance is crucial to the version of Robin we see in S4.

After S4, there were a lot of complaints that the Robin we saw in that season wasn't like S3 enough and felt like a completely different character. Firstly, Robin was shown to speed talk, be unhelpful and miss social ques when nervous in the final episode of season 3, so I disagree with that criticism. But most importantly, the reason that S4 Robin is different to the one in S3 is because S3 Robin was never real. It was a character she built in order to avoid dealing with the pain of rejection or accepting that she cares about what other people think of her. But due to Steve, Robin is able to realise that she doesn't have to be someone else, hence her personality shift.

That's also kind of why I dislike the idea that her relationships with Nancy and Vickie are better than her one with Steve because she wouldn't have had those relationships if it wasn't for him. Steve enabled her to open up and let down her cool and sarcastic persona. Robin is anxious and awkward with Nancy and Vickie from the get go unlike with Steve, which ends up enabling her to ultimately make more real bonds with them much quicker. She would not have been able to do that if it wasn't for the value his acceptance brought into her life.

I'm going to get a bit mushy and personal here, so feel free to skip to the end, but platonic Stobin isn't just meaningful to the fictional character of Robin. I'm an autistic lesbian and I have had a lot of struggles with making and maintaining friendships. For a while, I didn't have any friends at all and I was very depressed. But now my mental health is so much better because I was able to find a friend who fully accepted me, who I didn't have to mask around, who I easily came out to. Becoming friends with her has enabled me to become way more comfortable with unmasking my autism outside of that one relationship because being more vulnerable is what enabled that friendship to be so much better in the long term.

Robin is a character I relate to a lot, and I've written a lot of posts on autistic Robin in the past. I think seeing friendships portrayed on screen where a girl is able to let down her mask, learn to become herself and become much less distant to the point that she explicitly feels comfortable telling someone she has issues with social ques is great for all kids. So many people, especially autistic people, struggle with being themselves and with finding friends. Maybe Robin did just exist to redeem Steve or whatever, but I know seeing that friendship on screen meant a lot to me. It's so difficult to find someone who accepts you and to open up to someone, but I think that platonic Stobin shows that it can be worth it.

Sorry for the mushy side tangent at the end, but I hope this post explains the importance of Steve's acceptance to Robin's character development. Acting like she only exists for Steve is dismissive of the impact that friendship had on the development Robin has and will have, especially if you view Rebel Robin as being somewhat canon. Not to mention, clarifying a loveable character is no longer homophobic feels like a pretty good thing.

[fern-daysss]

I've only watched the play once so I might be onto nothing but a butch headcanon is that she's demigirl and transfemme (you really have to hear me out for this one).

I think butch and Sam's character (I'm bad at names lol) know each other more than they explicitly say in the play- maybe family friends, maybe butch sees Sam's character as a parental figure, because when Sam talks about knowing that butch is into annabelle he says it pretty confidently, and she seems to think they're on at least good enough terms that they can joke and whatnot- maybe Sam knew butch when they were quite young and didn't see them again for a while. Mayhaps butch didn't have anyone else to validate her (in terms of parental/ familiar figures) when she came out so she went to Sam. As well as Sam using she/they for butch throughout the play, in the scene where he says "He. They. She" in my mind what he was thinking was

"He" (oh wait, butch doesn't go by he/him anymore, still thinking of when she was a kid)

"They" (oh wait, Annabelle doesn't know butch goes by she/they, for whatever reason they haven't told her- maybe internalised enbyphobia where butch thinks Annabelle won't like them if they aren't 'fully' a girl)

"She" (there we go)

(just rewatched this bit and realised it's not in this order exactly, but I think this would still make sense, especially when Sam says "just give it time" like he already knows)

I also think it's relatively evident that they have some internalised homophobia (the "we are lesbians. WE ARE LESBIANS." bit) so I don't think internalised transphobia/ enbyphobia would be out of place.

(I also think it could've been a mix of miscommunication as well. Maybe butch came out to Annabelle saying something like "I'm trans!" And Annabelle said something like "so you use she/her now?" And butch just went "...yeah" (she already came out to Sam, figures she'll come out properly to Annabelle later))

Either way, I don't think genderqueer butch should be slept on. Idk im tired

[rapha-reads]

I finally got back home, slept and ate, and then sat down and watch The Reality War. I didn't do a live reaction because I wanted to focus fully on the episode, so, here are some thoughts in disorder. Spoilers ahead.

Huh. The Rani and Omega were dealt with quite quickly. Well, there's still Flood!Rani left (I hope that becomes her actual name in the fandom). And Omega sounds too big of a name to bring back only for a 2-minute scene. With the Master still around, Flood!Rani lurking somewhere and RTD in commands, I wouldn't be surprised if Omega comes back somehow.

Anita! Anita is brilliant! And with that tiny "Joy to the world" wink at the end, oooh, RTD knows how to connect dots. I'm glad Anita found companionship.

And on that note: so parenthood really was the big theme of these two inaugural seasons, huh. Again, not surprising, RTD has been telling us this is the story he wants to say since Ruby's first appearance, or, no, wait, since Fourteenth found Donna and Rose. What a reveal, though, that the Time Lords are going extinct/went extinct because of the Master's genocide. Guess he got what he wanted in the end. But, oh, how sad, sad it was when the Doctor realised that, no, Poppy is not his, she's fully Belinda's... They so want to be a parent, they've always been good with children. Remember Eleventh? I once wrote a whole thing about Eleventh and children. It sort of applies to Fifteenth too: he's parent-shaped.

Kinda disappointed that Belinda didn't get a bigger role in this episode, but all the reveals that all along she wanted to get back to her daughter make it up for her shelving. And instead we got badass Ruby, Anita, Shirley and Kate! Stop pushing for Ibrahim/Kate, tho. Love Ibrahim, he's good, but come on, Kate's a lesbian.

"The gods play tricks. But I always win." The Doctor always wins even when they lose. And a what a loss. I feel like this is one of the saddest regeneration I've seen so far? Maybe because I absolutely unaware it was coming? Well, unaware, outside of the few spoilers I've glanced since Saturday. But we didn't get to prepare for it, like we usually do when it happens because the info gets out long in advance. Which is why I really loved the scene between Thirteenth and Fourteenth. First of all because Thirteenth is wonderful and I missed her and it's always nice to see her. Secondly because it felt like healing for the Doctor and for us. She was so broken and lost and in despair when she left. And he didn't get to stay nearly long enough, but brought on a new Doctor, more joyful, more hopeful, more optimistic. Yet, "we never change, do we", and indeed, it is still, always, our Doctor. Just, ready to be more healthy. And now Sixteenth is here, and...

Billie Piper? BILLIE PIPER?? BILLIE PIPER IS THE NEXT DOCTOR????? EXCUSE ME????? Oh, gods. The TenRose fandom is going to be insufferable. Good for you, guys. Love Billie Piper, though! Excited to see what someone who has been part of the story since its new beginning will do with the Doctor. But really, Billie Piper, Russell? You're not even going to pretend anymore that you don't play favourites, huh. Hey, psssst. Can you.... Bring back Freema Agyeman next? Pretty please with a bow on top?

So! All in all. Not the best episode, but solid and consistent anyway. The first half was a bit wonky and didn't make fully sense, the second half, saving Poppy, had me on the edge of my seat. Do we have a Christmas special coming in? I guess we don't know yet when series 16/season 3 will be ready. But these two seasons and their finales do set the things up for many more adventures. The Pantheon is still around, the Rani has joined the fun, the Master's fate is still unknown, oh, the Time Hotel's Boss, another hint at something, reality shifting one degree... Come on, Russell. Amaze us.

[thenerdofthegroup]

So, about the finale, as a lesbian I feel I can speak about this. And I think it’s slightly different to how others view it

Yes you can be disappointed. But the kiss WAS NOT the kiss of death. Agatha absorbed her magic. She didn't need to kiss her. She didn't need to caress her face. That is the last thing Agatha ever wanted. She wanted to kiss Rio that passionately, she wanted to feel her face, she wanted to be with Rio in her last moments, only her. That is beautiful. Yes she dies (but I don't mind her dying IF IF IF THEY SHOWED HER TRULY LOVING AND LIVING IN HER PAST but oh well) but it wasn’t the kiss. The kiss was her trying to truly live before she goes. Finally feeling love that she hasn’t felt in centuries.

Actually if I were to pin it, and it is using something someone else said, the kiss was forgiveness. Him bringing up nick was bad but she didn’t sacrifice herself for him. She did it as an apology. Rio did do so much for her BUT a mother will never have enough time with her child. And Agatha is an angry person. She will never see what Rio did as a gift in her rage but IN THAT MOMENT she realised. She realised it was a gift that she hasn’t paid back. This is her paying it back. And she knew she could be a ghost so… it was a calculated risk! She apologised and through it she can still be around

But…

Now, if I could add two thing that wouldnave made all of this fine and not fall flat (and learnt they did actually do the first which makes it worse):

Agatha FULL history. From birth to the present. That episode should have had 30 minutes more AT LEAST of just her backstory

They should have had a talk in the after life. Agatha and Rio. A proper conversation. No lying. No false. Because Agatha was still being fake for a lot of it. I fully believe they were not really fighting they were pissing about. Because two of the most powerful magic users just throwing energy blasts?!?!?! No. One of the only truly real things we got in 8 and 9 from Agatha is her kissing Rio. That was pure love. For Rio and for nick. We needed a continuation. So the death didn't feel like the end. Yes Agatha is a ghost but it was the stopping point for her and Rio. What should have happened is a conversation in the afterlife where Agatha calls for her and Rio appears and they just talk. They talk about why Agatha has been so cruel, why Rio has been doing everything. Just a talk. That's all we needed.

What Kathryn and Aubrey did give us in the time they allowed was beautiful. And learning that they apparently removed so much of Agatha's backstory so Billy could have the last third hurt. It really did. (Toast of twitter said that the entire finale was her backstory but they changed it).

So yes, the update is I'm still curious about the stuff we didn't get and it ending with billy trying to fucking banish her, give the lamest dialogue ever and suddenly Agatha wants to help find Toby. I still fully believe she is only tagging along to find Wanda but yeah. Agatha’s story in the end was thrown to shit for billy but fine. What SHPULD HAVE BEEN is we got more. And I'm positive we did get more before Disney got it’s guillotine to it and the very few Rio seems we would have gotten because Aubrey was filming a whole different movie she clearly wanted to do more than this, they cut. Because there was meant to be more. I am positive of it

But safe to say, I love ghost Agatha. And the grey hair is personal to me. Do I wish it will become a curly bob and she looked like, to me, her closest resembling comic panel (below, like tell me that isn't Kathryn in her 70’s) yeah. But that's nitpicking because her hair is long and luscious. The nits I will be picking is above. Because the above would have made everything fine.

[sapphoshands]

I’d be curious about your Agatha thoughts (gives you a corn chip) because I too have feelingsTM about the “discourse” but I just wanted to say thanks for being a fun person to follow who has also been consumed by AAA brainrot but in a FUN way…like can we just enjoy fun things? Oy.

ONE CORN CHIP, you have poked the bear successfully (and thank you for saying nice things; i am glad my breakdown is enjoyable all around hahaha)

okay a couple people have actually poked me about this soooo. snark activated. rant unlocked. disclaimer, i have mostly been avoiding the tags so i'm sure this has been litigated elsewhere, but a few things annoying ME:

people saying the show last night is the wrong kind of queer. because. look. we are all just queer, okay. the show is queer. the show is SO MANY kinds of queer!

also did we accidentally erase the first five episodes because i don't know what show you [generic you] were watching but there has been intense lesbian activity on my screen since 'agnes' first sat down on her couch.

i also will be v sad if agatha and rio don't get at least one smooch, but we have three eps left? a third of the show? so i'm not exactly throwing a fit yet!

even if they don't smooch, their relationship has been such a joy to watch on screen and is so intense and involved and complex and fully-realised. like, we might not get a kiss, because i sure don't think we're heading for a happy ending, but... it's not like a kiss is what legitimises the whole thing, you know? IT'S THERE.

agreed that it's unfortunate we had a short ep last week and a long one this week, but i don't understand people who are saying we were short-changed last week specifically in agatha's trial. because. it is agatha's show. this whoooole thing. it is about agatha. all of it. all along. and it's not like a) she doesn't get the spotlight in everyone else's trial, or b) we didn't get enough character development for many many fanfics.

plus we got a long ep this week specifically so we could get more agnes and more agatha. i'm surprised they got away with putting so much agnes in the ep but oh my god i loved every second of it. kathryn hahn the manspreader dykespreader that you are.

fan hat off, notes hat on, i don't know what i would've cut out of the billy section. maybe a couple minutes of hospital time? couple minutes of bohner? not a lot of fat there! lots of stuff that's almost certainly going to have meaning to agatha's story!

some people will say cut the boring boyfriend but look. look. i am genuinely emotional about the interrelational queerness in this show now. i think this is a spectacular example of how stories that are overdone in pop culture generally can get a whole new life and vibe when they are seen through a diverse lens. this commentary on witchiness, queerness, otherness, coven as found family... it's saying some things, and it's not beating us over the head with them. we needed the queer billy backstory to make those work. plus, we're unlocking all new agatha feelings through billy and so the show has to give us some billy so we know why agatha has those feelings!

maybe i sound like too much of an apologist, and let's be real, i'm certainly not going to be rewatching the first two-thirds of that ep anywhere near as much as the entire rest of the season (so far). i'm not telling anyone they had to love it. i will also say, i've seen some reviewers talking about how this was the best ep so far and i REALLY side-eye that (and now i trust them much less). but i enjoyed the ep, way, way more than i expected. i almost kind of give a shit about billy now, and i absolutely give a shit about agatha's feelings about billy.

that said, it's not an attack to not have rio in the ep (when jac schaeffer has literally said they were rationing her). and neither rio nor billy are the most important parts of agatha's story. but they're both building towards it, in my opinion. we haven't lost anything by getting a little billy; we've immensely deepened the world of the show and agatha's character.

so there is one corn chip worth of thoughts! and now, back to writing fic.

[valyrfia]

HIYAAA happy pride!!!

can you share with us how you and you’re girlfriend came to be together ? i need more lesbianism in my life

i love lesbianism <3

it's not a very exciting story on the surface....we matched on tinder and i never wanted to talk to anyone else after the first message. however UNDER the surface.....

the actual story is that we were in the same course in undergrad and had kind of the same friend group, we met on a social and i bumped into her in the bathrooms and i was so taken with her in hindsight (i wasn't out yet!). after the social they all went clubbing and i stupidly dragged one of my best friends out to a bar instead to meet my 'crush' that i had of course so naturally and not at all forced-by-my-flatmates handpicked. that night she got back together with her ex, and i made a fool of myself in front of a guy i was only interested in for external validation...

the world moved on, her and her ex ended horrendously, i got with a boy in march 2020 and was so taken by the thrill of the chase that we ended up in a lockdown relationship (also my first proper relationship) which was super convenient considering i didn't have to see or touch him. come august 2020 i had fallen in love with a redhead lesbian that i met online (s/o to you el, we stopped talking when dsmp collapsed but hope you're doing well) and had the much overdue but full-blown sexuality crashout. picked many a fight with my then-boyfriend and actually acted horrendously towards him because i realised i actually couldn't outrun the fact that i was a lesbian for much longer. we split up in september 2020 once i actually had to you know....be with him in person again.

september 2020 is ALSO when my now-girlfriend posted this pic to instagram which was just her...poised against a table smiling at golden hour in a kitchen. i was so taken i'll admit i would sit for minutes at a time looking at this picture, and would keep going back to it. i was definitely 'trying on' my sexuality at this point, trying to sit with feelings i finally realised WERE attraction and this picture was a big part of it. i was on tinder at this point, but conversations were going nowhere and everything was falling flat. i was getting over my ex, while also still talking to him because i valued his friendship and because i was bored and messy stringing him along a little. then one night i was on tinder and THERE she was. that same damn kitchen picture the first picture on her profile. i swiped right immediately and she....didn't. in fact she didn't respond for two weeks. suddenly at about 10:30 at night i was on call with a friend and i got a little message that we had matched and the scream i let out....loudest 'YES' ever. she sent the first message, i immediately messaged back and we've been talking ever since.

there's a bit more to the story, we went on our first date a week later (7 hours sat talking in a coffee shop thank you), my housemate texted me during that date saying she had lost all sense of smell...we had to isolate for 14 days and there was a nationwide lockdown, in december i pushed back my date to go home for xmas by two weeks just so i could spend time with her, we became official right before xmas and then because of lockdowns immediately went long distance with no reprieve for four months. also it has come out in the years since that while i was having this romantic 'got the girl' moment in my head she had messaged FOURTEEN other girls on tinder that night. anyway love that woman in ways i can't even begin to explain, we're going on officially a 'long time' now. she gave me the courage to come out to friends, family, workplaces, the world, to get comfortable with the fact that i didn't like men and i was in fact, a fully blown lesbian. i'm so privileged to know love like this, and SO privileged to be out and loud and proud about it, it's not something i'd ever take for granted. happy pride! <3

[groovebunker]

i was going to reblog this and then i realised it wouldn't end up in the tag and that seems kind of cowardly of me so you're getting a screenshot and some lengthy commentary. as ever. y'all know me now.

hi!! i'm the lesbian!! the reason it says that i'm the ringleader of the squad in my bio is because i started tagging posts with that stupid hashtag like a year ago!!

i find it very hard to articulate myself on this because i don't want to sound like i'm starting a ship war because i'm 30 and i don't do that. this is not about hating cc/niles, this is about me, a lesbian, finding a lot of meaning in cc being a lesbian. so it's fine if you think that interpretation is mad, i don't care, the joy and delight of fandom is reading the same text and coming to different conclusions!

that being said. it is weird to see things about cc and a man in the tag i created (primarily) about her being a dyke, especially a man who treated her in a way that i find pretty atrocious.

when i jokingly tagged a post with cc babcock defence squad last year, it was because i wanted to create a space for her in the fandom, i wanted to be able to recognise her as a character beyond her being a one dimensional villain. but, as these things do, that did evolve and i did start using it to be a defense of her (admittedly non canonical) sexuality. to me, a lesbian, that woman is a lesbian and that is important to me! it's important to other lesbians who see her the same way! i am passionate about this (as friends of mine who have been on the other end of my ranting will attest to).

enid is right, part of the defense is against the specific man who canonically bullied her for years (again, i'm trying to not sound Hyper Online here, but this fandom is meaningful to me in a way i struggle to fully express so bear with). it is specifically not about her and that man. it's (really) barely about her and fran, although i'll tag all my fran x cc fic with it because, again, it is about her being a lesbian and all my fic is written with her as a lesbian. it is about cc and how she was mistreated by canon and the writers and (to some extent) the fandom and how i wanted to, you know, make her a fully dimensional character.

anyway, all this to say i co-sign the above but as ever, it's a dumb hashtag and i can't stop you from using it. i would rather it not be used on posts about cc & men because of the way it is intrinsically linked to her lesbianism for me. i am chronically online and if you want to disagree with me, drop into my inbox and we can chat about it. i'm not a dickhead, it's just that dykes really do get so little in fandom and i want us to keep some things, even if they are stupid little hashtags.

[fallout-lou-begas]

I need some advice. So, I'm currently engaged to a trans woman (I'm a cis lesbian). We've been together for 3 1/2 years now, and we're sexually active. Now my fiancée still has her penis, and I've begun to realise that I'm starting to like girl dick more than vagina's. I love my fiancée and see her as an amazing woman, but I'm scared that I'm technically a chaser. Am I really one or am I just a girl in love with my fiancée? I'm asking you Ms. Lou-begas due to you being a trans woman

Anon, I think that you have so little to worry about that it's almost funny. I promise you that you're not a chaser just because you like to have sex with your trans fiancee. Being a chaser isn't just "being attracted to trans women," being a chaser is specifically about dehumanizing trans women completely into nothing but sex objects just by virtue of them being trans. Do you see trans women as fully realized people instead of reducing them to whatever hardware they might have? Are you not ashamed to be seen in public with the trans women that you're attracted to? Are you respectful of whatever sexual boundaries trans women may have? Are you capable of interacting with trans women non-sexually? Are you going to be normal if she wants bottom surgery instead of treating it like a tragedy or trying to convince her "to keep it"? If you've answered yes to all five of these questions then you're fine.

It's okay to like your fiancee's dick, to love it even, but from what you've told me, it sounds like you love her for who she is, not what she has. You should have no reason to be paranoid about whether your attraction for her is of the same stripe as the unhealthy and oppressive oversexualization that society foists upon us at large. There's something sad about how so many creeps can cause actually good-hearted people to worry so much about if they're "allowed" to be attracted in basically any way at all to any trans women without doing something wrong.

[sapphiconherknees]

hi bee i hope you’re having a good day!! for your ask game i’d like to know the answers to 3, 9, and 13!

-🌿🐾 (19, he/they/it)

Hey there!

I’ll add your emojis to my pinned post!

Now let’s get to your asks!

3. How did you realize you were sapphic?

So, I didn’t fully know until I was about 15, when I kept writing “am I lesbian?” In my planner at school, yep I did that. Girls were already calling me a lesbian to bully me little did they know they were right on the money, but after something happened with my then boyfriend and we broke up, I truly realised how much I was not attracted to men…but women on the other hand, I’d be on my knees for them in an instant (still am). All my friends would talk about boys in a certain way and my brain was constantly be going YUK! I mean that should have been a give away.

Apparently though my mums best friend knew I was sapphic as did half my fucking family! Would have be nice to be kept in the loop! 🤣🤣

However, my coming out story is not exactly the best, it’s not the worst but if you want to hear that too, I’ll share it! Let me know 🏳️‍🌈

9. Do you have a "type"? if so, what is it?

Okay so this was a tricky one to answer because yes I do, but after some bad experiences I question myself in even having a type.

But give me a brown hair, blue, green or brown eyes (I love any eye colour to be fair but these always have me on my knees and brown needs to be the darkest brown) and honestly someone who can communicate, make me feel safe as I would her, interests align as well as having some different interests, someone who can make me laugh, and someone who will truly let me be me because I’ve never had that.

13. Good sapphic movies/shows?

Okay so I’m probably not the best person to ask on this mainly because I usually fall for the non canon sapphics!

I do have some up my sleeve though!

Movies:

1. Imagine me & You

2. Carol

3. The Favourite

4. The Kids are alright

5. Loving Annabelle (I know a lot of issues with this but I still liked it at the time so I’m including it)

6. Happiest Season

Tv Shows:

1. This is a recommendation I got from the lovely @madamejadex and have not watched it yet but Wentworth. I found it on prime so I’ll be watching tonight!

2. Gentleman Jack (on my knees for Suranne Jones I swear)

3. One day at a time (a cute one that included a lot of important topics)

4. The L word (I mean how can I not include this?)

5. Dickinson

6. Winona Earp

-Bee👑