#I get!! you're all autistic!!! me too!! I have as much a rough time with the shit and yet I end up being able to get it together sometimes!!

[die-tenebris]

Time to be poisoned by bitterness again! makes me beyond enraged that the burden of ensuring the people around me know to vote falls on me. I'd like to be mad that the info isn't very in your face, but also, it's pretty dang accessible (if you think ahead to look). Idk. Government do better. But also wish I wasn't the only person even vaguely engaged. I'm really sick of having to get everyone on the same page. It's exhausting.

[callofdudes]

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Autistic Reader headcanons.

A/N: I myself am not autistic but I do know a fair bit about it. So I figured I'd write headcanons before writing a fic just to dip my toes in and see if I can get it right.

I know that autism can present a bit differently for some things across different people. Please feel free to let me know if something in this list is not correct. ❤️

Ghost would be lying if he said he didn't give you extra special treatment apart from his other teammates. And it's well justified. Simon knows not to compare you to a child but he also knows that you need things the others don't.

Simon has picked up on subtle signs throughout the months working with you. How sometimes when things didn't go according to plan on base it would leave you more stressed out than it should have. Sometimes if your food wasn't what you had expected it to be, he'd notice how you'd react.

He eventually consulted your file before making any decisions. That's how he'd found out you are autistic.

Simon knew someone who was autistic, so he made sure to keep his eye close on you.

He noticed each little shift. How you would stim with your clothing or your hair, too embarrassed to carry a fidget toy around base. But that didn't matter to Simon. He made sure to take care of everything. He bought some fidget toys small enough to fit in his jacket and when in meetings or just sitting around, he'd pull a toy like magic from his pocket and hand it over.

You'd been incredibly grateful the first few times, and then it just became routine that Simon would carry around the toys for you and have one on hand whenever you needed.

He also noticed which ones you liked, and didn't like. Some you would hand back because they didn't feel right on your fingers. Others clicked and slid in a way you didn't quite like, and he kept a tab of that. He compared fidget toys you did like to similar ones and was very precise every time he got you a new one.

He made sure that in every environment he was nearby. How you'd react to the lights, different sounds. How you'd react when it got to loud and crowded or too quiet. What noises bugged you and what calmed you.

When on missions, Simon made sure to talk you through each step. He thought his voice would help you to face the unexpected. Telling you where to go and exactly what to do, ready to face any situation.

"Take a deep breath y/n, you're doing great. Two Shadows on your left, you can take them out from where you are without being spotted"

Your level of empathy and emotional awareness was also something he had to take into account. You could sensitive to anger. You could feel a great deal of empathy and almost take on the burden of It being your fault even if you had nothing to do with it. Because of this, Simon made sure that you were aware his anger was never on you.

"Simon? Did I do something wrong? You looked really upset when you looked at me earlier and I just thought that maybe-"

Simon places his hand on your shoulder. "No no, just had a rough morning. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Got it?"

Simon has also become much more aware of how he teases you. You were emotionally aware to the point that you very clearly understood Simon would joke about being hurt, or would make fun of you and it was all jokes. He understood that you understood how his emotions worked as well.

But there was the occasional time where Simon would pretend to be hurt by your words and you'd have genuine regret. It doesn't happen as often as he would have thought, but when it does, he's right there to reassure you he is completely fine.

Simon actually gets more upset than you do when people call you a child wrapped up in an adults body with a nice little bow on top. Of course you have your traits but Simon has seen your hobbies and interests. You're no super genius but you are more than a child. You just have a different trajectory point on life's train tracks. And Simon makes sure to remind anyone he doesn't think is being respectful of you as a person.

Nightmares can affect you more harshly because of your emotional investment with things and the people around you.

The first time Simon saw you become overstimulated he was a little scared he'll be honest. He panicked a little bit. But now he knows exactly what to do. At first he tried to comfort you, allowing you to be swallowed up in his embrace, he crushed you tightly in his arms and smoothed his hands over your muscles. It would sometimes take a while for you to come down from your high, but he was there for every moment.

When he becomes a bit better at knowing how to handle a situation when you get over stimulated the process is smoother. Simon will notice how you can completely shut down. Sometimes it's near a meltdown with tears flowing everywhere. And other times you just disconnect. You don't move, don't speak, completely distant. Simon approaches you gently and picks you up in his arms.

"This ok?" He whispers near your ear as to not startle you. You cling to him tightly, burying your head in his neck. "Alright, come on, you've had a long day."

He rubs your back and brings you to your room. If you're away from base he just finds a separate room that is quiet. Anywhere he can go to separate the noise and bustling energy from you. If you're in your room he'll lay you down and just get you to relax.

Tears flow down your cheeks, hands still clasping the material of Simon's hoodie. Simon gently rubs your collar and down over your shoulders. He presses on different parts of your arms until you relax. "Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath." Simon breathes in deeply, prompting you to mimick. He wipes the tears from your cheeks and fetches your heavier blanket from the end of the bed. "See? You're ok."

He grabs your fidget from your desk and place it in your hand, or sometimes he'll lean over you and allow you to play with his sweater.

He talks softly and calmly, he does know kinder and softer words of reassurance help.

Sometimes all you want to do is hug Simon under the warmth of your weighted blanket, his arms wrapped around you like mountains compressing you from all angles.

And sometimes Simon will shut the door, lay you on your back and lay the weighted blanket just above the bend in the bottom of your spine. If you want a fidget toy he'll get you one to distract your hands while he runs soothing motions along your muscles, feeling them relax and contract. He plays white Noise in the background for you, or he'll give you his phone so you can watch soap cutting videos or other visually satisfying things.

"How are you doing?" He whispers near your ear, thumbs rubbing over your stomach and up around your back to cup your shoulder blades. "Look at it." You flip the phone to show a satisfying paint video. "Oh, that's a cool one isn't it?" You nod and go back to watching it.

Wherever Simon got so good at doing massages, you would not change it for the world. You've expressed before how nice they feel and how they calm you down. And Simon continues to do them.

Simon always makes sure that when you're over stimulated you have something to do with your hands. Again, if you want to play with his hoodie he'll stay with you so you can. If you want to run your hands through his hair, he's become comfortable enough to allow it.

"What are you doing up there?" He asks with a smile. You hum, combing your fingers through the short hair of his nape and up into the longer locks. "Soft." You express the feeling over your fingertips. "Yeah? I did shower." "I like your hair."

The occasional times you go nonverbal and are unsure how to express your needs, Simon will pull out a few toys and just crawl up next to you. He holds out his hoodie strings and comb his fingers through your hair.

He lays next to you, holding up one of the fidget toys. You gently take it and allow your fingers to move over it. Simon stays, fingers moving to drift through your scalp. You abandon the toy quicker than he expected and reach for his hoodie. "Oh you want this?" He smiles and moves closer so you can play with the strings of his hoodie.

Simon knows that you are incredibly passionate about what makes you happy. He often bugs you that you never shut up, but he knows you love it. One time when you both couldn't sleep early on the morning, Simon made you both tea and sat silently while you went on for nearly four hours about the lore of your favorite game/movie/TV show. He'd add little key points and poke out certain details, which would lead you down a detailed side rant before coming back to wrap everything up. The conversations would ring you dry of information. Simon would be lying if he said he didn't like it when you info dumped on him.

It was one of your ways you expressed your love. Sharing these things that made you so incredibly happy and Simon wanted to be a part of that.

Simon is still learning, and honestly he's very happy to learn. Sometimes he gets things right and sometimes he doesn't. But he is always here to make sure you get the care and provision you need. Whether it's taking a step back or a step in.

[krypticcafe]

May I request call of duty boys with an autistic s/o? As an autistic person I think they’d all be very helpful with their partner and their needs. Their partner is having a bit of a rough day and they’ve gone nonverbal and just need the comfort of a safe person so they can unmask. (I totally hc Ghost as autistic so maybe he and his partner just vibe in silence together)

COD:MW boys w/an autistic partner

rating: general

character(s): GN!Reader, John Price, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Gary "Roach" Sanderson, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo Parra, König, Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin, Hound

word count: ~5.2k

warning(s): possible inaccuracies, mentions of autism symptoms, mentions of masking, lotsa comfort 'n fluff

a/n: as per usual, feel free to tell me if I've misrepresented or misinformed. I'm undiagnosed, but extremely certain that I'm ND so I've included experiences I found that I share with autism symptoms :] On the other hand, idgaf about realistic military limits on medical issues and medication, this is literally fanfiction and not that deep.

beta reader: ChordataUtopia on ao3

Price

I'd like to think with his time in the military, he's probably had acquaintances, friends, or subordinates who are on the spectrum, so at the very least, he knows what to expect and has a few mental notes on it.

So it's not a problem for him when he sees it on your file.

It's when you become a thing that he actually starts researching about it, and really in-depth, the same way he would when doing background checks.

He's a pretty fast talker, so you have trouble keeping up with all the info he throws at you sometimes. At first, he thought you weren't paying attention, but then he realized you just had issues trying to process so much at once, which is vastly different when compared to how he can take in a bunch at a time. He's learned to be more concise, and surprisingly, it's helped some of the others on the team, too.

One of the perks of dating a captain is getting to know the plans and schedules ahead of everyone and being one of the first to know about any last-minute alterations.

Whenever you're starting to feel overstimulated on base, Price has an eye out for you and calls you to his office. It's a subtle and easy way for him to take you out of a situation and pull you somewhere safe. After all, no one bothers to question the captain's orders.

Although the military doesn't really have quiet rooms, the two of you found that his office is the only place aside from your shared quarters where you can feel safe and sound. Everyone respects Price's office space, so it's always nice and tranquil there. He's used to this one-on-one time so he keeps your favorite drink in a mini-fridge, something for you to fidget with quietly, and an extra comfy chair for you, along with medication if you need any.

Turns out, the voice of a captain is also helpful for keeping you grounded. It isn't aggressive, it isn't demanding, it's firm. He helps keep you in the moment when you feel your mind drift from your body, whether in private or on a mission. He's also direct and doesn't beat around the bush, so misunderstandings are rare.

If you take medication, it used to be difficult for you to get it restocked. Healthcare system and all its perks. But now, after dating John, strangely enough, it seems you get it on time almost always and hand-delivered by him. Hm.

His favorite thing to do is to listen to your rambles while he does his paperwork. You're worried you're bothering him, but he just responds with, "Not at all, love. I wouldn't trade this moment for the world," and tells you to continue discussing whatever you are particularly interested or fascinated about.

John doesn't tell you, but he sometimes wishes he had more paperwork just to spend more time with you in the office.

Gaz

Probably has had neurodivergent friends or family, and doesn't know a lot about the matter, but he's open-minded from the start.

He's a quick learner, too. Not just in combat but with your relationship. He notices your little habits, what makes you tick, and what keeps you in the zone.

And thank whatever being above that you were blessed with such a patient man. If you're having difficulties wrapping your head around a concept or directions, he'll explain it in a way you can understand. Sometimes, people talk too fast, too quietly, or too vague. Gaz finds that there's no shame in it.

One of the things he notices is that sometimes you mimic how he talks, like certain phrases or words. Especially if you're non-UK. Some of your repeated phrases are "oh my days", "cheers", or "takin' the piss". Fluent accent and all. He doesn't find it insulting or strange, he thinks it's actually pretty cute and doesn't poke fun at you for it.

Usually, he's not a fan of when people get too chatty with him, but it's you. He can't find himself getting irritated when you're talking so passionately about your special interest, latest hyper fixation, or whatever got to you because he knows you're being your genuine self and not talking out of your ass.

Your eyes light up, you're no longer using the tone of a soldier with all its formalities, yet you articulate the more and more you converse with him. Your hands even start to fidget and flap when you get deep in discussion.

"Keep going, love. I'm listening." He smiles at you from the corner of his eye, reorganizing his locker. It's meaningful to him, being the one person you trust to listen and engage when you need a break from masking.

He's got an eye for when you're having an out-of-body experience, helping you keep your head in missions without belittling you for feeling elsewhere.

Overstimulated or overwhelmed? Don't worry, he's got you. Kyle has his headphones on him a lot of the time whenever he can. When he sees your eyes looking in the distance or darting around while you feel your skin itch and your mind's a blur, he pops them on you and turns up a playlist he's made with your favorites.

In other cases, he's either scouting a spot for you to retreat to or verbally guiding you until you can unwind.

Sometimes when he can't immediately stick to your side or assist you, he'll take his cap and put it on you with a gentle smile. It's his way of saying that he notices you and to hang on just a bit, he'll be right there as soon as he's done, love.

Ghost

Autistic Ghost truther right here!!

I like to think Ghost always suspected he wasn't neurotypical, and would eventually get diagnosed. But ever since meeting you, it's only sped up his realization. Especially when he saw the difference between whether you're masking or not. It really hit him like a barrel of trucks that day.

He came to you first about it, trying to play it off as curiosity and just wanting to be more informed, but even if you aren't well-versed with body language or small cues, you could just tell that the gears were starting to turn in his head.

While you knew numerous factors led to your blossoming relationship, you like to think the trust you two built after you helped him come to terms with his autism kickstarted it all.

You quickly realized how much of it has gone unnoticed, how eerily good he was at masking himself. He claimed he was more comfortable with the 141 and that outside of that, he was just fulfilling his role as lieutenan- oh my god, you're right.

He gets ticked off when there's a change in plans if a last-minute decision is made but he bites his tongue about it, despises it when people aren't straightforward, prefers bluntness, sits in the far and darker corners of the mess hall where it's calmer, or just avoids it altogether and eats in his room, doesn't understand when people think he's being rude or mean, the list goes on.

There is... a lot to uncover.

But it's all worth it for the little things.

Like when you two created a subtle way to tell each other "I love you" when the words won't come out, three little taps on the inside of the wrist.

Or when you both need to unwind after a particularly triggering mission and you just can't articulate yourselves. No one else notices it and passes it off as you two just being quieter than you usually are, but the two of you catch onto each other like wildfire.

You'll retreat into your quarters and sit on the bed, back-to-back in the dark, where Simon can pull off the mask to just breathe and you can just feel. A comfortable silence lingers in the air while your hearts sync until one of you breaks the silence.

"Absolute trainwreck that one was, huh?" One of you dryly chuckles.

And the other mutters back, "You can say that again."

There's this one particular memory he has of when you surprised him with a gift one day. He wasn't much of a taker than a giver, but seeing how giddy you were, he couldn't decline.

Opening it, he was surprised with a custom butterfly knife, an obsidian-black handle with silver engravings of skulls, thorns, and roses, along with his initials on the blade. You remembered his interest in knives and how he tended to mess with them as a stim, so you bought him a knife he could flip around smoothly and quietly while still keeping up appearances.

With the way he looked at it, someone would've assumed you just proposed to him with a diamond ring or something.

You expected him to put it in his collection, but he uses it a lot in his spare time.

He keeps it in top condition and never leaves it unless he has to.

Soap

He's heard of it, met people with it, though he doesn't quite understand it yet. Johnny's tried to look into it but finds most sources sound contradicting to each other or just don't make sense compared to the experiences you describe and the ones that others have.

You tell him it's fine, you appreciate the effort, and it's okay if he occasionally asks questions when appropriate.

If there's one thing about him, it's that he's quick and creative when it comes to accommodating you. He carries extra earplugs with him on missions and comes up with signals for you to use when you have trouble expressing, so it's easier for him to figure out what you need (turns out he's a visual learner, too).

He makes it ridiculously easy to unmask, too, always so happy to see you, to listen, to talk—he just loves you so much. Something about his energy and how he can slowly and gently open you up like a treasured, well-kept, and well-loved book with just that sweet tone of his.

Sometimes when you're stuck in your head, he pretends he's performing surgery to remove your brain or something, making little silly little noises and tracing your forehead like he's cutting it, a little pop! and he's all "Now you cannae think 'bout anythin'", and it's so stupid but works.

You find the best thing he can do is just hold you. He's got this firm hold that makes you feel like you're wrapped in a warm blanket and a strong heartbeat that reverberates through you. You'd tend to count the beats in your head and just allow yourself to be absorbed in his embrace.

It's all just a few of the numerous things he's done to improve your relationship.

But you have to be real with him for a moment.

You guys know that one tiktok audio? The one that's like:

"I ain't sure what HD is but the doctor said I got 80 of them bitches! WOOO—"

Yeah, Johnny, don't think we haven't noticed.

One day, he lightheartedly jokes that he relates to some of what you go through and that maybe he's autistic, too.

"Well... you're not too far off."

"Haha, what?"

So turns out the MacTavish family has a whole history of ADHD and ADD. His family's always had an inkling, but Soap's natural personality just really blurred the lines.

To be honest, it was so obvious. The way the two of you would parrot each other and your teammates, how he banged his fists on tables whenever he got really excited or antsy, couldn't stand still when he'd constantly be shifting his weight between his feet, popped his lips to break silence, all the impulses that get him in trouble a lot of the time, random bouts of eery calmness, his hyperfocus when working on a new project, the time you caught him unconsciously imitating the sound of the heart monitor after he nearly blew himself up in an accident, you get the idea.

Soap's love language, from physical affection and words of affirmation, is gift-giving! The moment he sees something that reminds him of you, what you like, or something you've been talking about a lot lately, he gets so excited to see your reaction when he surprises you with it and is practically bouncing with anticipation.

Definitely made you cute little cue cards with silly doodles, and even some with Scottish slang. He was especially proud of these.

Roach

He gets you. He really, really, really gets you.

Roach, are you perhaps neurodivergent?

You wouldn't be surprised. You figured he was ever since he explained how he wasn't Deaf or completely mute. He just said he felt nonverbal a lot of the time, selectively mute. That was something that really clicked with you.

In fact, you found he was the easiest to talk to about it. He didn't have many questions other than asking what made you uncomfortable and if you wanted him to teach you some ASL.

You said yes, of course.

Before you were a couple, you were best friends. Practically inseparable with energies complimenting each other. No one was surprised when you guys became public, much to your own surprise.

Learning ASL has been one of the most helpful things Roach has done for your guys' relationship; you don't feel as isolated in your nonverbal state. It also helps clear up misunderstandings with the rest of the team sometimes when one of you can communicate on the other's part. You still struggle with some expressions periodically, but you're pretty fluent!

There is so much open communication in your relationship, it's just a fresh breath of air, holy shit. But the negative part to that is when there is a misunderstanding, it can get a little messy, not horrible, but just kind of overwhelming for the both of you where you need to take a breather and just tune out in your heads for a bit before you can approach each other again.

Overstimulation comes more easily to you than it does to Roach, so you often find yourself either going to him or him leading you somewhere more private where you can quietly wind down.

On a more positive note, you guys have the most energetic of conversations. You'll both be spewing out hyperfixes, random thoughts, and interests, some of Roach's being random facts about zoology or history facts (his favorite are the world wars, unsurprisingly).

"The Egyptians believed that the most significant thing you could do with your life was die."

"Sick."

You two jump from subject to subject, then return to one only to forget what you were supposed to talk about, then move on to something else before remembering what was supposed to be said, and then dropping the conversation altogether like nothing happened.

The entirety of Task Force 141 and SpecGru has given up on trying to interrupt these moments for any reason besides work, it's been proven fruitless. You guys are simply too far in the deep end, there is no saving from hyperfix hell.

Gary's also like a crow, he memorized your interests and whenever he sees something related to that, like a trinket when he's out and about, he'll buy it for you. You two do this to the point where it's kinda getting cluttered in your quarters...

Alejandro

Yeah, I'm afraid he's a little undereducated about it, growing up in an environment with a stigma over mental health issues type of deal.

Don't worry, he's not bigoted by any means, just confused about what it's exactly about because of how much misinformation is out there. I think there was a time when he might've believed in some stereotypes and acted rudely about it, except that was when he was really young and dumb.

When he told you this, it broke your heart, but for a different reason. You told him it wasn't his fault, he was raised in an environment that provided little awareness on the issue, that's just how many people are raised. As much as you hate to admit it, that's just how the majority of the world is. What matters is that he acknowledged he was wrong, and that he was just a kid.

"You're too kind, mi sol," He murmurs, pressing a kiss on your knuckles.

"And you're too hard on yourself, love." You respond, cradling the side of his face with a smile.

Unintentionally or not, meeting you led him to realize he might have his own difficulties with his mental health. After all, being colonel would take a toll on anyone, and after the events involving the Shadows? He needs a break above anyone else in the Vaqueros.

Much like Price, he's learned to create as much of a supportive environment for you and the rest of his soldiers with a general no-tolerance policy on ableist bullshit.

Sometimes, it can be a little challenging for him to reach out to you or vice versa, largely because of his busy schedule and job as commander. He can't indulge you as much as he wishes. Patience was something the two of you had to learn and overcome in your relationship.

But if you really need him, or if you're having a difficult time while he's preoccupied, you give him a few taps on the shoulder, and he gives you a nod mid-conversation with a subordinate. At the end of the day, he comes and finds you, and asks you a few questions you can answer with a simple nod or shake of your head. You trace a heart into his palm, a straightforward reminder, and he smiles and kisses your forehead.

It takes a while, but he carefully unravels you with gentle comfort, just holding you, and taking your time. He's not the most patient man, but for you, he certainly tries. When you finally start returning to yourself, no longer the soldier or the "different one". Just you. He greets you with a kiss and listens to whatever you say for the rest of the night.

It's worth the wait, so long as you're in his arms.

Rodolfo

Rudy has a similar situation to Alejandro. The only difference is that it never quite sat right with him as a kid. Ultimately, it led him to educate himself and seek out actual resources.

He could never understand the stigma, too naive as a child only to find out the truth when he was older. Somehow, it hurt him too, maybe because of how he shared some qualities.

He figured he wasn't autistic, but he knew he wasn't neurotypical either, tiny impulses here and there constantly proving him right, ways that he didn't connect with other people. Meeting you had only confirmed it for himself.

At first, he never noticed it, you were usually masking in front of them all anyway. But when he started to spend more time with you in between missions and get to know the real you, he started to see how vastly different you were when he first met you.

The comment slips out and he apologizes, but you laugh it off as his friend and closest confidant. It's hard to really put it into words, but he understands, he always does. You learn that early on in your relationship.

Instead of words, he uses gestures to console you. Acts of service is his kind of love language. Helping you with your work, doing all the chores you couldn't bring yourself to do that day, the simple things. Mugs of warm drinks, a little mazapán or gansito, a treat to quell your mind a little. A small nostalgic snack break always helps him in hard times between all the work, so he hopes you enjoy them, too. Expect him to join you whenever he's feeling a little out of it.

You worry that it feels like an excuse to hog him to yourself when it isn't. He's always willing—even if it was a ploy, he wouldn't mind it all that much. Seeing you ease up makes him come out of his shell, too. It's something good for both of you.

"Need a refill, cariño?"

You shake your head, "No, just... stay? Please?"

"Of course." He beams in a way that has your heart nearly skipping a beat despite how long you've been together. Maybe you should marry him on the spot.

There are moments when he holds you that you hear him humming his favorite songs. You tell him he has a wonderful voice, but he bashfully denies it. However, it doesn't stop him from humming, not when it helps bring you back down to earth or get a compliment out of you after some silence.

König

Doesn't exactly know what it is, thought it was like a bad trait or something because someone called him autistic once as a kid, but in a derogatory way. Made you go 'yikes' and explain the whole thing. He apologized for his initial shock when you told him you were autistic and felt disgusted when he realized why he was called that back then.

He's quick to pick up on your cues, mood differences, or how you process things. After all, he gave himself a trained eye from all that sniper training.

The first time you were nonverbal around him, he was slightly worried. It was after an arduous mission that had you completely knackered, mentally and physically. He thought you were in a state of shock or something, and he was about to call a medic before you dragged him away and had to physically force him not to. Later, you had to explain to him what happened again, but he was still a little concerned for your wellbeing.

You're well aware and so is he that he probably has ADHD and social anxiety, but to be honest, you wouldn't actually doubt the idea that he could be autistic either.

You both noticed it when you were ranting about how annoying some of your habits were, whether it be an inability to properly express emotions, an inability to understand social cues, the need to mask around others, or how much certain sensations bothered you when they shouldn't because it's so stupid that they do. He'd often respond with, "Oh, I do that too!" or "Yeah, I have that sometimes." At first, you thought he related to some of the lighter symptoms shared with people in general, but then it came to a point where he related a bit too much that you had to let yourself think about whether your boyfriend just happened to have the double whammy of ADHD and autism.

Chances were likely.

One thing that surprised König when you two discussed how he could help comfort you is lying on top of you.

"But Schatz, I'm too big, I would crush you, like a weight or something."

"Oh sweetheart... that's the point."

Genuinely, he's a wonderful makeshift weighted blanket with the great addition of being your boyfriend. It's the perfect distraction for your mind to focus on something and someone else—the weight of his body weight distributed on yours, your breathing synced with his, his heartbeat against your chest, and just having someone to hold.

Loves it when you start parroting and picking up some of his phrases, especially the German ones. He'll ignore the pronunciations if they're bad, but he's just gleaming with pride when he sees you taking out an enemy and spitting German curses at them the same way he does. Practically makes goo-goo eyes on the battlefield.

Horangi

Same thing about being brought up in an environment that isn't the most informed nor supportive about neurodivergence. He's not the proudest of his younger self, and he knows he's made some mean remarks about it as a dumb kid, but he's long since moved on. Getting out into the world has taught him to grow more tolerant and understanding, but he's still ashamed of the ignorant stuff he did.

He worries that you'll hate him for it, despite it being ages ago. He's used to being reminded of his mistakes and failures, such as his gambling addiction and delinquency.

What he struggles with most is trying to find a way to comfort you or help you unwind. He's not great with words since he's worried about screwing something up, so the most he can do is pull you somewhere the two of you can be alone and give you space.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't try. He tries several things, like keeping your favorite snacks on hand, doodling on your skin with his markers to distract you, getting some music playing, earplugs on hand, and stuff that he knows he can't royally fuck up.

You propose that he creates some cute cue cards for you so that it helps him figure out your needs, and you don't miss how he tries to hide his eagerness. He presents you with the cards all connected on a metal ring, red, blue, and black doodles with words in both English and Korean, acting like he just did it on a whim when the amount of care and love put into it is obvious.

One of the cards only has a single phrase on it in Korean, and you already knew it. You still asked.

"Hong-jin, what does this say?"

"Ah- uh... 사랑해요 (saranghaeyo)."

"Mind telling me?"

"... good job?"

"Uh-huh... so why are there so many hearts?"

"Because you think I did a really good job..?"

Again, he's not great with words. That includes letting you know that he wants to be told "I love you" more.

Lightheartedly calls you a nerd once when you ramble about your hyperfixations or special interest, only for you to fire back with a comment about his K-pop collection of albums, signatures, fancams, photocards, lightsticks...

"That's not the sam- no... dammit, no."

Face the music, Horangi. Your special interest is K-pop and each new album is just another hyperfix. You're just as much of a nerd.

Hound

Autism? Okay, but the fuck does that have to do with you blasting the enemy with an RPG right now?

Honestly, he thought you just had some strange quirks and issues. Maybe you were like him. He figured he was just "broken" in some way, that they were "weaknesses" of his. The more he spent time with you, the more he questioned why he is the way he is.

Yet he doesn't judge you because he most likely knows how it feels to be in that position, and he wants to be the support he doesn't have but wishes he had.

Actually, that's the real glue of your relationship—how easily Hound adapts to your structures and needs without question. If it conflicts with theirs, they won't hesitate to directly address it and work it out with you. You return the same energy and reassure him he's not alone in feeling this way. Hell, you make him feel normal for once.

Both of you have issues verbalizing, so you'll be tracing hearts, question marks, checks, and x's on each others' palms. They even teach you Morse code to tap little phrases. You never need to worry about miscommunication if you're direct with them. They're always direct with you, and they hate when people aren't specific.

Hound's not much of a talker, but they're definitely a listener, and they could honestly listen to you talk for days. If someone dares to interrupt you or criticize you for talking too much because he "seems like he's not interested" and you're "taking up his time", he shoots them a glare to fuck off.

Most likely, your interests will become his interests, too.

You notice they mask almost constantly but act much more natural, tender, and less structured when they're around you, showing a side of themselves with a variety of emotions no one else would ever see either. More human, and less war dog.

You both like to be alone, but alone together. Hound used to ask you to leave him alone whenever he needed to self-isolate but started to let you stick around when they needed a moment. The two of you are much more physically affectionate and even more talkative, and you both value the trust you grant each other to show the more vulnerable side of yourselves. You guys are woven like thread; the moment one unravels, so does the other.

Sometimes, all it takes is a weak smile from you or his hands interlocking with yours to find the calm in the storm.

a/n 2: I'm back, teehee :3

[arachne4]

since you do guilty gear, any chance I could get a yandere Asuka with an fem autistic s/o? With a side order of NSFW if that’s okay?

yan!asuka x autistic!fem!reader

cw: yandere, nsfw, oral, does not follow canon, praise

never written for asuka before so if you guys got any tips let me know

SFW

Asuka is a rather quiet guy, never thought he'd be the type to obsess over anyone the way he does his work. But you're here now so he doesn't really have a choice to say no.

i think he would like to call you dear, nothing in canon says so but it would sound nice coming from his voice

I think he doesn't let on what he's feeling right away, always trying to be vague. Which can be exceedingly frustrating if you ever ask him about something

When it comes to how much he loves you though, once he finally admits it, it's the only straight answer you can get out of him. He rambles on and on about how he adores you, how he truly needs you to be in his life.

Think he's very handsy but very quiet, likes to cuddle up with you and nuzzle you and just not say anything.

Let's you rant to him about whatever you're interested in, he's very good at listening. Adores it when you do the same

Thinks it's cute when you stim

NSFW

Likes to look before he touches, makes you wait before he touches you. It's a treat for him to watch you quiver and whine out for him

Wants you to cum before he does, as I don't think his sex drive is crazy high, but always makes a big deal out of it. Quickies aren't his style unless you beg for it.

Vocal in bed, it's one of the main times where he gets to say just exactly how he wants and feels because it's about you. Whispering sweet nothings in your ear about how gorgeous you are, how he craves to be inside of you because he wants to feel close to you.

He could get rough if he really wanted to, but enjoys the more passionate side of lovemaking. Wants to leave hickeys all over you, high on your neck so everyone sees.

Might be a little of a tease, along with the looking thing he likes it when you beg him for anything, makes him feel loved. Doesn't like to make you wait for his love, but his need to hear you say you need him outweighs the good in him.

"a-asuka hurry up-"

Asuka didn't want to wait, he wanted to ravish you with his tongue. He kneeled between your legs, his eyes and mouth level with your practically drooling cunt.

"Have patience, dear." His fingers prodded and poked at your cunt, spreading you apart even wider. Slick was dripping down your legs, almost leaking onto the chair.

"please, asuka, don't make me wait-"

He huffed, looking up at you through his pretty eyelashes. Rubbing the insides of your thighs with his soft hands, a coy smile on his face.

"since you asked so nicely."

And without a second to breathe he dove straight in, tongue flicking at your clit and he sunk a finger in. It was all so overwhelming, it was just so fast. Your hand tangled into his hair, he wouldn't be happy if it was too messy. But getting to eat you out was a treat so he guessed he could let it go.

Sinking another finger into you, he stretched you even wider. Long fingers scissoring inside of you and spreading your cunt wider. Preparing you for what else you was happening tonight.

Need to write more actual oneshots more so I'm trying to include them in headcanons, tried to make him as yandere as possible but he's kinda chill in the games most of the time and I know I got other requests before this I just wanted to start writing it and ended up finishing it so yay!

[1863-project]

I'm a cisgender heterosexual woman, and I don't feel comfortable being misgendered, but I'm also autistic and I struggle when forced to perform traditional neurotypical femininity, especially if I have to do it in a formal setting.

I've been named the best man at my brother's wedding in a few months, and the dress I have to wear for it has arrived (I still need to get it tailored since it's currently too big in the front). Wearing it makes me feel weird because it's long and elegant and I am decidedly not long and elegant (I'm all of 5'2" and much more rough around the edges). It's a foreign, uncomfortable feeling whenever I'm in a situation where I have to perform and pretend to be capable of dressing and acting this way.

I've noticed that despite other people referring to my role as Best Woman or Best Person, I've still been calling myself Best Man as a sort of rebellion against being put in a neurotypical femininity box I don't fit nicely into. My brand of femininity involves wearing overalls and long coats that go down to my knees and building things and driving 100-year-old vehicles and preserving history. I don't wear makeup for sensory reasons most of the time and certainly not at work where I run the risk of getting oils on documents if I touch my face. I can't wear shoes with heels because I'm flat-footed. I have a big arm-swinging walk and a really firm handshake.

To a lot of people, especially TERFs and their ilk, I don't fit their increasingly narrow perception of what a woman should be. I need you all to understand that as they keep making that definition smaller and smaller in their quest to deny trans and NB people their humanity, they're eventually going to exclude nearly everybody. I have an autoimmune disorder that causes nodules to grow on my thyroid gland, making it look enough like an Adam's apple that I wouldn't be surprised if a TERF tried to clock me as trans. They're coming for butch women, for gender non-conforming women, for neurodivergent and disabled women. Instead of trying to restrict the definition of womanhood to some absurd standard virtually nobody can reach, we need to draw the line here and now.

Stand up for your trans friends. Don't let these people even take an inch. Trans women are absolutely women too, and if you identify as a woman and you're reading this, so are you. Bottom line. All you need to do to be a woman is identify as one. There's no rules. Don't let them try to make them up like a playground game where they keep moving the goalposts because they're sore losers.

[nightfang22]

Patrick's Princess Chapter Three

A/N:Thank you so so much to everyone who's been enjoying this little series of mine!I will admit it's a bit self indulgent.I wanted to write something for the more uncommon age regressors I've met.I am well aware that not everyone age regresses and not everyone understands it so I understand if this fic is not for you.That is absolutely fine!While there will be sexual content in this series at some point in time it will absolutely NOT be during a regressed period for the reader character as I'm not comfortable with that kind of thing at all.Also in reference to the specific autistic behaviors I've written for this reader,they are based upon my own personal autistic experiences so it's good to keep in mind that while not all autistic people experience these traits,I do and there are plenty of others who do.They are completely valid and if you don't like this sort of thing just scroll away!Thank you for reading this note and I hope you continue to enjoy the series even though it's been on a serious hiatus for a good long while!Enjoy!

Warnings:Patrick is a warning on his own,fire,autistic meltdowns,slight atypical stockholm syndrome

Pairing:Patrick Hockstetter x autistic!little!Reader

Word Count:1.1k

 I could smell the soft scent of mint and Jolt Cola on his breath as it fanned across my cheek. His hand brushed through my (h/l)(h/c) hair as the other pulled me closer to him by my waist. "All mine~", he whispered into my hair as he inhaled my scent. I felt this funny bubbly feeling in the pit of my stomach and I felt shocks go through my spine when he shifted me in his lap. We lay up against a tree as the sun set. We had spent the entire day at that little tree in the woods and I had never felt so safe in my life. Even though my brother was most certainly going to be pissed that I ditched and I was probably going to be grounded for the rest of eternity, at that moment I didn't particularly care. I had come back out of my littlespace a good while ago but I could find myself able to leave his arms. I was curled up, straddling Patrick's lap as he held me there pulling me closer every so often as though we could get any more humanly close. I could feel the rough denim of his jeans on my thighs and the soft cotton of his t-shirt in my fingertips as I clutch it for dear life. Patrick had previously taken off his flannel and wrapped it around me, muttering something about my outfit 'drawing too much attention'. I was too deeply engrossed in this bubbly feeling to understand or analyze so I just let him. I liked the feeling of the heavy flannel fabric on my shoulders and the musky smell of his cologne too much to oppose. I simply curled closer into him, resting my head between his shoulder and his jawline. I mindlessly kissed his neck as I ran a hand through his hair. It was a tad greasy but otherwise very soft and smelled of dandruff shampoo. I mindlessly lay kisses across his neck and jawline from where my head rested on his shoulder. I felt his fingertips dig into my skin a little then as he entangled his hand in my hair and gave it a small tug. Not too rough, just enough to grab my attention and make me look at him. His eyes were an electrifying pale blue. Like someone tried to paint the color but had no true concept of what it was really supposed to look like so it just came out to a very silvery periwinkle. "What do you think you're doin', doll?" His words finally drew my line of sight away from his eyes and to his lips instead. They were curved in this beautifully mischievous grin. Almost like a predatory raptor looking at its next meal. The next tug that came on my hair was much more harsh, forcing my line of sight back to his eyes. This time, however, I seemed to have sobered from this intoxicating feeling and come back to earth. Wherever I was before, I'm not quite sure now. I looked around at my surroundings and glanced at my watch. I jumped up out of Patrick's lap and made a beeline for my bike. It's almost 7! (B/n) is going to kill me! I searched my pockets and my bag over and over again, hoping I hadn't lost my keys. I spin around on my heels when I hear keys jingling behind me only to see Patrick shaking them in his hand with his other in his back pocket. "Thought you were gonna get away that easy, princess? You should know better," he paused coming right up in my ear, "than to run away from Daddy." There was this gravel to his voice on the last word. Almost animal like.

I bit down on my bottom lip,feeling anxiety control my gut now.I was in a new place with absolute no idea where I was or how to get home from here. I know I really should've been panicking much more than I was,screaming for help,something.Anything.But I just couldn't find it in myself to want to leave.In my mind I knew that there would be consequences to all of this later.But that's just when they'd come.Later.And right now,all I wanted was to be right where I was.Somewhere in the middle of an unfamiliar forest with Patrick.I liked the way he made me feel and I loved the way he talked to me.Like I was the best thing he'd ever seen but also like I didn't have a brain at the same time.I wasn't even really sure how that was possible but he pulled it off so well that I couldn't find it in myself to care really.I looked up at him with a shy look on my face,my cheeks tinged a soft pink.I nodded,my voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes,Sir.I'm sorry."

The smirk on his face was downright sinful as his eyes roved up and down my frame,drinking me in with his eyes.He placed his finger under my chin and tilted my head up to look up at him.I had never really realized just how much taller he was than me until now.And fuck was he tall.I kept my eyes focused on the spot between his.I couldn't bear making complete eye contact with him right now.Not with as overwhelmed as I was.The smirk on his face slowly turned into a cheshire grin.Malicious and intriguing at the same time.

"You're good at taking orders.I like that."

An odd feeling swelled in my chest.Pride,maybe?Whatever it was,I liked it.A lot.I felt a small smile grace my features as I nodded. "Only for the right people." My voice was a ghost of a whisper.His hand traveled quickly from my chin to my throat,squeezing it.Almost like a warning. "Only for me,got it?" My eyes were wide.They felt like they were going to pop out of my skull but I couldn't find it in myself to disagree with him.There was something about him that just made me want to listen,to obey.I nodded but he squeezed harder. "Yes what?" I took a shallow breath as I looked up at him. "Yes,Sir." MY voice was shaky and strangled with his hand around my neck but I was strangely okay with it. He released my throat and I took a gasping breath in,finding that I missed the pressure of his hands.My skin felt itchy and crawly without it.In that moment I had decided,against my better judgement maybe but I would do anything to keep Patrick's hands on me.

[power-handmaiden]

Day 54: Not Pounded By My Handsome Sentient Stoker Award Nomination For Camp Damascus Because The Two Of Us Are Too Busy Celebrating The Fact That A Story With An Autistic Lead Character By An Autistic Author Made The Shortlist For A Major Literary Award And Now We’re Donating Some Money To Autistic Self Advocacy Network

I highly doubt anyone following me for tinglerposting is not also following Dr. Tingle, but here's a link to the tingler just in case, since it's up for free with suggested donation to a good cause.

So, I just jump out of my rough chronological order to read a new tingler while it's most relevant, but it turns out this one is actually a really good companion to the one I read yesterday: two tinglers that deal directly with Dr. Tingle's feelings on being a writer and on his readership, separated by 8 years and hundreds of published stories.

The biggest difference in those 8 years is how much unironic attention Dr. Tingle has gotten through his horror writing. In yesterday's tingler he has a very warranted frivolous attitude toward the reader, who is probably just reading his erotica as a comedic work (side note, I forgot to mention yesterday, but listening to it via the podcast episode added a layer to that moment, as the narrator was clearly doing just that) while today's tingler begins with a feeling of high anxiety over the new type of attention that is coming in.

Now, I fully admit that this might be projection on my part, and for as unsubtle as this tingler is it doesn't address this in particular, but... when I look at these side-by-side, I see an autistic experience around indulging in one's interests in the way the attitudes in these tinglers have developed over time. Dr. Tingle has always seemed to have a sense of peace around how the stories he takes seriously as he writes them are humorous to the general public. He's always welcomed the audience laughter, the dramatic readings, the podcast I keep coming back to. There's an expectation for a lot of neurodivergent people that the way we engage in things won't be received on the same level by the general. Often, for the more social among us, even if others laugh, as long as they aren't maliciously mocking we all can have fun together even if the mutual understanding isn't perfect. The familiarity of can become comfortable.

To suddenly be taken seriously after getting used to being seen as an inherently silly imdividual can be terrifying! Even more so when you gain attention for excelling at one thing but you're unsure how all these new attention givers will respond to your "weird" traits- this point in particular is addressed directly, in some unexpected mid-tingler self-consciousness from Dr. Tingle in this one. Usually the "Chuck Tingle" space appears to be where he can just write these ideas without being self-consious about them, but in this one it's where he can be vulnerable and work through his self-doubt.

Also, it's really cool to see how the nature of these meta tinglers themselves have changed because tinglers have expanded in scope over time. In the early ones, sometimes the protagonist has gay sex simply because he's aware it's how the kind of story he's in has to progress, but nowadays, the structure of the tingler encompasses other experiences as well and can instead culminate in a call for a charitable donation.

[tinywitchgoblin]

i was wondering if i could get a ship request!

i'm 19, cis, use she/her pronouns, i'm an INTP and a taurus. I also have ADHD, depression, and suspect i'm also autistic.

I'm 5'7", have medium length dark brown hair, and eyes that are the color of the void. Im pretty lanky and have awful posture. i'm native american!

i'm primarily a musician! i play lead guitar for an all-girl band, sing, write my own songs, and play an array of other instruments. I will spend hours and hours practicing without even realizing the time passing. it's both a hobby and a my biggest passion that i hope to turn into a career one day

Other than music i like to draw and do makeup. Currently i'm in college and i work retail at a makeup store.

I'm pretty quiet sometimes, but when i get to yappin'...especially when it's about something i'm interested in😮‍💨

i've always had a hard time getting guys to like me and i think it's because they hate that i'm funnier than them. I literally do bits irl, and will actively do physical comedy and make up situations (like the other day my friend and i were joking about what if they made an anime musical) like imagine brittany broski that's my sense of humor pretty much.

anyways thank you so much i hope this is enough haha

(I'd love to hear some of your music if you're willing to share it!)

Thanks for participating!

I ship you with...

Hunter!

One of Hunter's favorite ways to decompress and relax his senses is to listen to music. That's actually how he met you- through finding (and listening to) your music. He finds it comforting, and when he hears you and your band play in person, he immediately falls in love. It takes him a little while to work up the courage to ask you out, but he's ecstatic when you say yes. He's super supportive of your career as a musician, and loves to be a part of your songwriting process. Sometimes he even helps out a little bit! He almost cries when you write a song about him; it makes him feel seen and loved in a way he's never felt before.

Hunter loves your sense of humor, and enjoys hearing you do comedy. He's been so uptight for so long, and when he starts laughing, it's like a massive weight off of his chest. You love to hear him laugh- he doesn't have a particularly loud laugh, but it's infectious all the same, and there are times where you and he will laugh so hard you're practically rolling on the floor. Crosshair loves making fun of him for it, but that isn't going to stop him from enjoying your humor- and being with you in general.

When your depression is really weighing down on you, Hunter is always there with you to guide you through the rough days. He'll cuddle with you, get you some tea, put on some music, whatever you're comfortable with and/or need in the moment. He's also good at helping you take care of yourself. If you need to take some medicine, he's got it in hand for you. If you need a bath, don't worry- he's already got it going, plus he restocked your favorite body wash. If you need a reminder to eat, he grabs an easy to eat meal (like ramen or something) so it doesn't mess with your body too much but still allows you to eat something. He's very supportive of you however you're doing, in whatever you're up to, because a happy you means a happy Hunter, too.

-

Thanks for reading! If you want a ship request like this, drop it in my ask box (but it might take a while), and don't forget to reblog <3

[krsive-writes]

Pleasure to Meet You

Title: Pleasure to Meet You

Author: krsive

Rating: M-

Tags/Warnings: mention of past sexual assault, soulmates

It was supposed to be just another day at work for Rick DX-318. A busy day, sure—after all, it was the Thursday before Valentine's Day—but Dex had been working at Mate Mart for years now and he knew the ropes. Just get through this weekend, and on the other side he and the other machine operators would go on their annual pub crawl and blow off this steam. Just get through. Just ignore the clammer of voices in the crowded room that itched at the back of his poor autistic brain. Just do one job at a time.

The unimpressive Morty seated across from him looked nervous. Dex was too tired to smile and put him at ease. His new work polo was rough against his skin all day, and it had him in a mood.

"Put your hand in the machine," he instructed. He picked up his clipboard and clicked his pen, holding it at the ready.

''Just... in? Like...?"

"Just put it in there, flat on the table." Two clicks. "Ok, Morty...” Here he checked the paperwork.    “G-116, what brings you in today?”

Morty's brow knit in confusion. "Same thing as everyone else? I-I wanna find my Soul mate."

"Yeah...you're gonna have to dig a little deeper if you want the process to work. The machine can't analyze your emotional resonance unless you're actually feeling something. I already know why you're here, but why are you here?"

''O-Oh. Well, um..." Morty squirmed in his seat. The machine began to hum. "I’m. I'm lonely. Like, r-really lonely."

"You're single?"

''Yes."

"Do you have a Rick?"

"K-kind of?"

"There's no 'kind of' box on my sheet, kid. Yes or no."

"Yes, then? I-I... I ran away from him but I think he's p-probably still on the Citadel."

Dex scrawled a note. "Why did you run away?"

"He..." Morty looked sick to his stomach. ''Do I really have to say? C-Can I just think about it and the machine will know?"

"Sorry, kid. This is the process." It wasn't like Dex was thrilled to hear the boy's trauma dump, either, but it was a living. Just barely.

''H-He tried to...y'know...” Morty's eyes were welling with tears.

"Look." Dex put down the clipboard and leaned forward. Morty mirrored his posture naturally. “You're not the only one here with a past. I did 25 years in Earth prison. I'm extremely personally acquainted with the concept of rape, if you catch my drift. It's ok. You can say it."

Morty broke down all at once. The machine chimed cheerfully.

"My grandpa tried to rape me," he managed to say. "I keep thinking he’ll show up to find me any time now. I'm scared all the t-t-time."

Dex made another note. Staring at the clipboard was so much easier than looking at Morty. "Did you get yourself emancipated yet? We have a legal service on standby for customers who match outside of their original pairs."

"He'd have t-t-to sign, right? I can't..." Morty sniffled. ''I can't do that.”

"Alright. Whatever you say goes. But how about I give you the brochure anyway?"

“Yeah, ok. Sure."

Morty darted a look up at him, a shy, guileless glance. Rick quickly turned his attention to his own hands, to the blown out, faded old tattoos on his knuckles. He didn't like getting too chummy with the customers. He busied himself flipping to page 2.

"If you could pick, who would be your soulmate?” he read.

"Geez. I don't r-really even know. I used to think maybe the Jessica from my dimension, O-o-or...there was this really funny Morty at my old job. I liked him but I was too scared to ask him out."

"What do you like about them?”

"I guess they're both really cute. Like s-soft and pretty. And gentle. Like, they both wanted me to feel good about my self, I could tell. I want someone sweet like that to want to be with me, too." Morty was welling up again. "I just want someone like that to love me.”

The machine, pleased with the display, chugged through its calculations faster. It was almost finished.

"What do you like about yourself?" Dex prompted.

"Oh man..." Morty shrugged one shoulder, his lips turned down in a hard frown. "I d-dunno... nothing, I guess."

''Dig deep." Dex was rooting for the kid. What a pathetic case. The charitable man in him wanted this one to be a success story.

''I guess..." Morty took a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm good to people even when I'm hurting. I-I still want to help people    so they can be happy. Even though people are mean to me a lot, it didn't make me be mean back. So I like that."

Ding! The machine pinged, startling Morty. A printout slid onto the tray.

"Congrats, kid. You actually have an other half out there! It's—“

Dex read the page. Rick Sanchez, DX-318. He blanched. Read it again. Rick Sanchez, DX-318. Again. Again. Nothing changed. He lost track of the world, dropped the paper.

"No way," he said, blankly.

"DX-318?”

"Who—“ Dex looked around at the row of tables where his coworkers were all busy.

"Isn't that you? A-Are you fucking with me?''

"Which one of you fucks did this?" Dex demanded, shooting out of his chair, voice booming.

"Is this for real?" Morty asked, but Dex barely heard him.

"You do this, C-487? You fucking—“ he stepped menacingly towards the worker at the next station over.

"Do what?" the other Rick asked, clearly confused.

The manager was on his way over, but Dex shouldered past. "I’m taking my 15," he said, and didn't stop to be told no.

"Wait!" called Morty somewhere behind him.

Rick pushed through the break room and out onto the walled back patio where a Rick lingered by the ashtray.

"Out! Get out!” Dex thundered.

“What—“

"OUT!"

The other Rick didn't stay to argue, but when he headed inside Morty passed him. Now the boy was between Dex and the door, and he was walled in on all sides, trapped like an animal. He was ready to chew his own leg off to escape, but he couldn’t bring himself to step towards his soulmate.

"Wh-What's happening Rick?" Morty asked, breathless and pinkened from exertion.

"I don't know!" Trapped, Dex paced back and forth, pulling at his hair. "Someone must have fucked with my machine, it must be some kind of prank, I—“

"What if it's not, though?"

Dex's brain was melting down. He thought about his shabby, half-hoarded studio apartment. He thought of the k-tax pipe in the bag in his locker, the days and nights spent in the numb embrace of drugs. He thought about the day that he killed his daughter, how crazed he still was when the cops came to take him, high off his ass and running amok. He couldn't do this. He couldn't have a soulmate. He couldn't care for a Morty. He didn't even want to care for himself .

"Trust me, kid, you're better off if it's a prank. You don't want me for your other half."

''What..." Morty stepped forward, making Rick shrink back. "What if, though?"

"’What if' is bullshit. ‘What if’ is wishful thinking."

"I bet you're lonely, too, though, right?"

"That's not the point. You don't want me, Morty. I'm just like your piece of shit grandpa, ok? I'm just... I'm not a good person."

"I deserve love," Morty said, jaw set, fists batted tightly. "I deserve love! I deserve for someone to try for me!”

''I—“

"So try! Just try, Rick!"

He pressed his lips together hard, breathing through his nose. Nothing made any sense now. In a world where he could feel love again, he didn't know his place. But Morty's pain was breaking his heart, and the boy wanted to crawl into the cracks of it with probing roots like a weed growing in concrete. Could someone really want him again? He was so afraid. He took a deep breath.

"Call me Dex," he said, offering his hand.

It was a start, at least.

[lillyspeakz]

also another question, if you're open to it, would you talk more about teaching? how is it for you? my long dream is to be a teacher, and i'm going to have pick a major like in few months

everyone is saying no to me, that is the total waste, but, i think there's something very special about forming little humans, as well as my teacher saved me from poor mental state. i just wish i could do that for others too. also! i fuckinh love literature so i'd really love to give them that experience of having a passionate teacher :u sorry for rambling

Ooo I’d love too! I love teaching, I get to have conversations with kids all day that either don’t make sense at all or excite them! I want to be a friend to my kids, not someone they look at as a authority figure that they always have to listen to and respect. Yes I like respect but you don’t always need to listen to me word for word. I want to be a friend and a guidance to these kids so when they grow up they remember what I taught.

People also said no to me, that the salary was terrible , but I’m thriving! I work on a farm in my spare time! I don’t care about money, I care about making sure these kids will always have someone to go to when things get rough or they need help. I want to form them into students that not only respect teachers but can have fun with their classes as well!

Darling never apologize for rambling, i do it all the time, I’m autistic for god sake. I love science so much and that’s why i majored in science and teaching. You can even ask the kids I taught and teach that I get into the subject. I thought about moving up to highschool and I might, but idk yet- I love teaching littles and being a patient and passionate teacher for them, but also I want to have professional conversations with students so- there’s that balance I have to find. But I say go for it! I have the best times and I’ve met a lot of good friends that I teach with.

[yoinkschief]

I too have that little ‘no one understands them like I do’ thing going on. It is only partially not my fault

Bro help I hate the fandom so much with my little guy specifically. Every time I try to find stuff about them I can never escape just how much people infantalize them. It is an issue

And yes, I would be crucified by many for saying ‘that’s an adult’. And shipping??? Oh yea my head is ending up on a spike for that :)

OH MY GODD NO THAT I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE NO IDEA

I mentioned this on the tags of the last post and it's not a huge deal more of an ick cause orgs not canon (yet(?)) but Marvin within the fandom, at least last I checked, is like FAMOUSLY asexual, yet I cannot escape the amount of ns//fw shit with him in it it makes me crazy

Gol-ly man, the infantilization of characters has followed me EVERYWHERE, 2016-2018 Tord specifically, also Edd and SEVERELY Matt, I know everyone talks about Tord because he's like the most jarring to see in that way but MATT WAS DONE SO DIRTY

Bro was treated like Derpy Hooves was by the majority of the fandom, incredibly ableist towards a very autistic coded character and infantalizing

God and pro shippers too, it's like really bad now cause I'm like an adult and it's so hard getting into fandoms that is prominently kids, like Gravity Falls ran in my youth so the people who watched it at the same time are like the same age as me, but The Owl House is ROUGH, and my bestie and I share this sentiment because we both love TOH BUT WE DON'T CARE WHO HUNTER WANTS TO KISS I WANNA KNOW HOW FUCKED UP HIS CHILDHOOD WAS SO I CAN GAUGE HIS TRAUMA METER RAHHH

But like actual proshipping sucks so hard cause even when I was kid I had that shit around me at all times, I WASN'T EVEN ONLINE THEN EITHER, not prominently anyway, I had CLASSES with this chick who OPENLY SHIPPED DIPPER AND MABEL

LIKE BRO ????? YOU'RE GONNA SCREAM "TWINCEST IS BESTCEST" IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CAFETERIA LIKE THAT ???? ARE YOU MAD ?????????

[yippee-boi09]

Am I autistic?

I'm diagnosed (at age 4) with ADHD, and I really think I'm autistic, but since I have ADHD, my (possible) experience with autism seems there but not there...? I just need to share my experience and see what others think. (And yes, I'll be getting an autism diagnoses in a few months dw)

My sensory issues

I can't stand how sensitive my hearing is. I like blasting heavy metal and vocal kid (and yfm) thought my ear buds because I hate full headphones and how they heat up my ears and squeeze my ears and earrings. But when I'm in a crowd I just want it to be quiet simply because I hate how unpredictable people are. But with my ear buds in the noise feels better. Not to mention my odd taste preference, I can't stand the feeling of chicken having a rough, grainy texture (best I could describe it) but I like it when steak feels that way, I can handle cow turned into a medium steak but I CANNOT stand ground beef, or burger meat, UNLESS it's done in a hyper specific way. I like raw seafood the most, all seafood tastes good to me, especially oysters, I ESPECIALLY enjoy slimy textures like pasta and cooked noodles, I love grease and soft foods. If it's mushy and soft I'll most likely enjoy it UNLESS it's TOO mushy or soft. Not as specific as my touch sensitivity... I hate the bumpy feeling of bathroom carpets but I'm find with floor bedroom sorta carpet, I LOOOVE super soft carpets, like fluffy and poofy things. But I ABSOLUTELY cannot stand cold, hard floors. Wood, marble, plaque floors all make my skin tingle (in a bad way) and it feels so awful I have to wear something on my feet almost EVERYWHERE I go... And my sight isn't as sensitive as my other senses, but I still have sensory issues with my sight, like how I like bright colors and flashy things with lots of colors but it can't be too flashy or else I get a migrane. I do prefer things that don't flash though, even if it looks cool I prefer if I didn't strain my eyes, and I can't stand the sun (I overheat easily) because it burns, it makes me squint my eyes, and I prefer the cold MUCH over the heat. But when I'm sleeping I have a million blankets with the fan blasting to keep my temperature balanced.

Social skills(???)

(Need to mention that I'm an ambivert)

I can't control how loud my voice is whenever I talk, I talk at a normal volume and suddenly I'm too loud, I try talking quietly and suddenly I'm too quiet. Whenever I talk to people I start speaking and then they start speaking over me and idk why they're mad at me for going "and the- and- and- and-" because they stop talking by then start talking again (it seems so weird, if you're not done talking then don't stop lol *my opinion*) I also have a lot of charisma, I can get people to rant about their whole life in seconds but I don't understand how they can keep it up, I end up losing breath or my mouth goes dry SO quickly. And even after scripting out convos in my mind I end up fucking it all up by stuttering or needing a drink because by others logic, "WhEn I pAuSe It MeAnS i'M dOnE tAlKiNg!" And then I either have to stop them or go back and answer them and then go back to my scripted rant, and then they twist the convo to how focused I am on things and I end up misinterpreting things all the time, I end up accidentally addressing things too early which makes me look weird, and then I address things on time but in the wrong way. And afterwords for weeks, even months or years I think about how much better the convo could've gone... Most of my friends consider me easy to talk to, others just find me quirky. I constantly stress over how to talk to specific people and whether or not they find me talking annoying. One thing I will say is whenever I'm talking to someone I'll either go occupied playing video game (i.e. me playing sonic frontiers hard mode final trial while my transfemme friend vents about her dysphoria) or I'll be browsing social media or I'll be messing around with something physical in my hands while looking away from them entirely but still listening. I've learned how to fake eye contact but I only make eye contact abruptly with people I trust the most but I still fucking hate it I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT. I can almost never tell what someone is feeling but I'm very perceptive to the point where I can guess how someone feels about this specific thing or that specific thing and it's so weird. I can understand in an instant that this person pisses you off because to ME it's kinda obvious, but it'll take me AGES to understand a basic explanation of a fear of getting disease which ends up backfiring and making me afraid to go swimming. Another problem I face is taking things Illiterately or TOO literate. If you told me this spider kills people from touch and bring it close to my face I'd laugh at you and coo at the spider (BECAUSE THEY'RE SO CUTE!!! (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)°ᡣ𐭩 . ° . !!) but if you said something sarcastic or jokingly in a serious convo I'd take it as a serious matter. (For example, I was once in trouble and told to "Count the bumps of the ceiling" which was apparently a joke most people threw around apparently??? Anyways, I counted 307 before I was stopped and told it wasn't serious) I cannot tell from the tone of someone's voice whether or not they're joking. (Unless it's a joke I'll get, like a depression or anxiety joke about trauma, or maybe a meme like "You know what that mean, FISH 𓆛") It's why people consider me dense, or kinda "empty headed" DESPITE THE HIVE IN MY MIND TALKING ABOUT EVERY DETAIL IN THE ROOM AND WHAT I NEED TO DO AND FIX BECAUSE I'M STUCK IN A CONVO WITH SOMEONE AND I WANNA GET A COOKIE BUT MY MIND IS GOING OFF ABOUT HOW I NEED TO WATCH THIS OR THAT VIDEO AND FIX MY BED BEFIRE I GO TO SLEEP AUAGAHAGIDHDJD

Stims and others

I have pretty normal Stims and other weird ones, more personal experiences too. I'll unconsciously rock back and forth, flap my arms and hands, bounce my legs, take my feet, and grasp my hands over and over. I have this Stims I'll do where I'll quietly make whistle noises and very high pitch whimpers with my throat, I'll crack my arms and fingers a LOT, since my family's under the belief neurodivergency doesn't exist and think fidgeting toys are bad and distracting. I'm also experienced with overstimulation and meltdowns and hiding them (I grew in a home where hiding your emotions meant you wouldn't get hurt) and a lot of people around me don't believe that I was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age and act as if my experience as a neurodiverse individual is something everyone experiences or I'm faking it for attention and it really makes me feel like I'm taking it too far getting a diagnoses for autism, and I wanted to get diagnosed autism/ADHD people's opinions on my experience and if I really could have autism. (This was also me venting about my neurodivergency and the struggles I have with mental health as someone with a family who believes the terms "ADD, ADHD, and autism" were made up to charge people for medications they DoN't NeEd!")

[juuheizou]

Omg now i'm dying to know what are suzuya's trigger textures, and his triggers in general too since I also hc him as autistic<3 also a guide on how to touch him right pleaaase???tyyy

Of course, friend! I'm always down to talk about autistic Suzuya!

Do be warned, in my personal opinion it's no worse than anything in the series, but if you're squeamish about unsanitary things, you might want to skip a couple of paragraphs pertaining to some unsanitary textures and stimming behaviors that I marked with a ** at the beginning of each one.

what are suzuya's trigger textures

He really doesn't like rough, scratchy textures. Tall grass or institutional carpet on bare skin, bristly animals, clothing tags, scratchy fabrics from wool to lace, suits. Anyone would learn to hide their distress at the horrible feeling of a lacy dress if the alternative was Big Madam's wrath, not worth dying over even if it's a close decision, but I think I have a little to back this up when it comes to his canon rebellion against coming to work in a proper suit.

I like to think of his canon dress code violations being a little bit of “stop telling me what to do” but also a whole lot of sensory issues with the material suits tend to be made of. If he could get away with wearing his pyjamas to work every day, he would, and I feel like he would have tried at some point. Unfortunately, what he does actually wear in canon was the best he could pull off and just be lectured by Amon as opposed to more serious disciplinary action even he can't ignore. Some of how he dresses is to have some control and fun with it in a conservative office environment when it comes to how people dress, like his patterned suspenders, but the actual fit and cuts of his outfits, ie too big for him and mostly shorter than they should be, is to minimize how much of it is touching him. His undershirts we see him wear once are probably something he wears all the time and pretty soft, another way to insulate him from that suit material texture.

Also, as an animal lover, this can prove a little problematic. My first thought is of the sheer disappointment of him petting a stray dog and ending up with like, bully breed bristles or something lodged in his shirt. Or going to a petting zoo or something with the squad and he's had a wonderful time nuzzling alpacas, sheep, rabbits, ducklings, and he's too excited to even think through it before he tries to do the same with something like a potbellied pig. Sad times. Very sad times. It's not fair that some animals can look fuzzy but actually feel like a cactus. He's safest sticking with fluffy spitzy dogs and cats haha.

**Messy textures are variable. He's not your (on Tumblr, at least) stereotypical squeamish autistic. Actually, I think he's the opposite and self-soothes by squishing and smearing gross things until Shinohara finally gets him a jar of play-dough or something to stop him from playing with dead stuff he finds on the schoolyard-- maybe being given art supplies to play with instead is what got him doing other art forms as an adult. Before it was stray animal entrails and stuff he found at the Academy, it was human organs, blood, etc. and Madam probably saw it as him learning to be a good scrapper, doing things like fingerpainting with blood or squishing a handful of organs in his hands.

**That being said, as much as he likes these textures in his hands, he has learned the hard way that most of them will make him sick if he were to put them in his mouth. Someone who didn't eat a lot of innards and similar scraps of meat over the years probably wouldn't even think to be so picky, but liver, brain, stuff like that? Good! Intestines, eyeballs, parts that are more slimy and slippery in the form they'd be thrown to him in... he would sooner go hungry, even living with Madam and not being given much else to eat. He might have liked to crush bugs as a cadet, but he probably tried and learned to draw the line at eating them. In the human world, though, he might like some of those things with the sliminess deep-fried out of them, perhaps.

Speaking of, food texture is also a type of texture, and in addition to slimy and slippery, he can't do stringy, fibrous stuff in food, especially if it is both slippery and stringy like some veggies. We know he likes sweets and snack foods, and I do think those are things he truly likes, but things like sweets are also a lot safer for someone who can be hypersensitive to the point of some mouth feels making him physically sick. Some may perceive this as childish, but to him it's just survival when the wrong bite can make him feel so awful. Some foods he just can't tolerate at all, but I can see Hanbee teaching him how to prepare fruits and vegetables in ways that don't trigger his sensory issues, as he would never be able to say “do this, do that” to Suzuya but would want him to get his vitamins and minerals. I could write a whole post about the adventurous, slightly strange eater that would be unlocked once he got a good introduction to preparing food in different ways that truly change the texture of the ingredients.

Not exactly a texture but still relating to his sense of touch, he really can't do light touch, as hyposensitive as he is to pain and deep pressure. To him, light touch is much, much more noxious than pain and he can really lash out against something brushing up against him. Often he grabs or strikes an offending hand or body part to get it away before his mind can even catch up to him, not hard, but how hard he does it doesn't always matter when people around him already perceive him as violent.

and his triggers in general too

As far as his other (sensory, which I hope is what you were wanting to know) triggers and hypersensitivities, he struggles with loud noises although his threshold for them is somewhat bigger than textures-- ie he can handle weapons clashing in battle, loud music when he's out somewhere fun, stuff with an end in sight that either can or does last short enough that it won't become too much before it's over. If it lasts too long, is too loud and piercing, he's having a sensitive day, or any combination of the above, though, it can very much push him to the meltdown point. Piercing, high-frequency sounds or too many sounds going on are also hard for him and will make him clap his hands over his ears SO FAST.

Same with bright lights. There's a threshold, he can handle them to some degree especially if there's a good (to him) reason for him to, but he's still hypersensitive to them. Fluorescent lights at the field office, for example, are another thing he's willing to get on his superiors' bad side for when he doesn't have an office and will just turn off half the lights in the bullpen (I would think they have one of those?) and when people just get annoyed and turn them back on, he would learn to mess with the breakers to where it's not easily undone and looks like an electrical problem. Amon would HATE the sight of him wearing sunglasses indoors and that would make him want to utilize this coping mechanism more. When he is a senior investigator and squad leader who does get a little office of his own, it's just barely light enough for him to read and do paperwork by.

Smells, though, I actually see him being hyposensitive to for the most part. I can see him going into a candle shop, bakery, buffet, anything with lots of options displayed in an easily accessible way and just wanting to pick up everything to sniff it, though he can't always do that because with food that is unsanitary and will get him kicked out. He also has a high tolerance that he hasn't actually found the limit to thus far for filthy crime scenes and rotting gore that even seasoned investigators have to go and vomit at the stench of.

As far as taste, though mouth feel is a different story, I see it also being a more hyposensitive sense for him. He loves to experiment with different flavors of things and is that person who seeks out foods that are really sour, really spicy, really minty, stuff like that that makes his whole face feel the taste of it. Again, would just pick things up and sample them as a stim if it wouldn't get him banned from places with delicious food, and I see him as one of those autistics to whom eating food is a stim. I can also see him liking the taste of alcoholic things for this reason, although on an unrelated note I don't see him as a drinker because he is an angry not-fun-to-be-around drunk; booze is best left as something to soak confections in or savor one single serving of, but he does like the burn.

also a guide on how to touch him right pleaaase???tyyy

As mentioned, he is a mixed bag of hyper and hyposensitivies, and deep pressure is something he seeks out just as hard has he avoids light touch. We see him do a lot of the classic signs of this kind of sensory seeking in canon, such as physically risky behaviors, indifference to pain, and constant movement. As far as sharing physical touch with another person, though, which he don't really see in canon, he has a need to be squeezed.

Starting with stuff that can be read as conventionally casual and platonic, I have mentioned he likes Akira and only Akira messing with his hair. That's for the same reason anyone else would run away screaming from having their hair done by her: the result might look amazing, unlike Touka's home hair attempts, but we know she's not the warmest character and can be just as insensitive as Suzuya in her own way as a person. As a hairstylist she really gets in there with combs and brushes and will pull to get a lock perfectly detangled or a braid tight enough to stay intact even while fighting for life and limb against an SS-rank ghoul, all while too absorbed in the task at hand to notice her victim is crying. Honestly, someone might see her updos around the office and convince themselves they can sit through it, but it's too much suffering, even for the most beautiful hair of their lives. For him, though, it's akin to a nice spa day, pleasant and relaxing. Horseplay and sparring also count as touch to him, and are pretty hard to go wrong with since that is always going to be heavy, hard bodily contact. Same with those hearty, macho claps on the shoulder I've mentioned before.

Going a little ways up the conventional ladder of intimacy, giving his hands or his shoulder a squeeze is nice and always advisable, especially when he's fidgety and stressed. Giving him a tight bear hug is the nicest, but you can't be scared to break him, or chances are you're not going to hug hard enough. He also loves to cuddle, but someone has to be laying a lot of body weight on the other. Once that is happening, though, it's even better than a weighted blanket or throwing someone to a mat. He could have a rib broken and still just be disappointed that it means he can't be physically crushed that hard again. Just like he relishes one of his cats or a stray animal laying in his lap, he likes to lean against people he knows won't shoo him away, and would also enjoy having his partner fall asleep against his shoulder or in his lap. Kisses are also fun and exciting for him, but he can't do the light pecks on the cheek and brushes of lips; gotta put some pressure and confidence into it, even if it doesn't get deeper in any other way.

Touching the rest of his body is where I see things getting emotionally fraught for him in addition to having the potential to be real overstimulating real fast. These are the areas of his body that are easily hidden by a nightshirt, a scrapper's costume, or a pretty dress without marring the beautiful doll he was supposed to be, so that's where only Madam ever touched him, and all she gave him were scars. This is where his control over the situation is just as important to him as the physical sensation being pleasant. I know my word choices sound sexual, but this doesn't even mean sex.

We know he is into underground body modification for example, but I see him being strictly DIY if he wants to feel the sensation of needles through his skin, which is the real reason he has his own stitches while not having any conventional piercings or tattoos; office rules wouldn't stop him lmao, he just can't do those himself with as much room for error. Sharing a shower or bath would be all fun and games, and he would like to wash someone's hair and body as a gesture of affection, and the hot water would be nice for him, but don't try to return the favor after he's had his fun. He would enjoy kissing someone all over in a merciless flurry, but honestly, the best way to approach something like that is to let him take what he wants and leave what he doesn't. He's direct enough that if he does want something different, he will get it. This is another small reason I think he pairs well with someone as shy to even try returning the favor as Mutsuki tbh

Hopefully it's not information you were hoping for, because I'm going to stop there as far as stages of intimacy that I googled for the purpose of this ask go. I have headcanons and things to say and would be totally cool answering more r-rated and up questions if one were to ask them directly. I just would rather disappoint someone who didn't ask for explicit content but would have liked reading it than blindside someone who didn't want to read it, you know?

[abominable-space-they]

You're My Moonage Daydream

SpaceDogs

When Nigel got home from work, he found Adam laying on the livingroom floor with all the lights off. He was an uncomfortable mixture of tense angles and loose distracted limbs, watching his home planetarium stars slowly spin, drumming his sternum with his fingertips, and chewing distractedly on the inside of his cheek.

Nigel checked the time. Adam got off work forty-five minutes ago. He'd usually be mostly decompressed by now. He knew that if Adam was still stressed, it was a a rough day, and asking what's wrong, the pressure of answering the question correctly would stress Adam out more. It was better for both of them if Nigel gave him space. So he put on Music. Sun Ra was one of Adams current space band favorites, experimental space jazz wasn't anything he'd ever even thought to listen to before Adam, but he was glad for knowing things like that existed.

When Nigel was n the right mood Sun Ra's mystical cosmic loopy jazz slid over his skin like warm water, soothing, almost hypnotic. He could see why Adam liked it so much.

Once the music was on, Nigel rolled a joint. That was one of his own soothing rituals. Grabbing an ashtray, he laid down beside Adam, setting the ashtray on his chest like he did in highschool, when everyone was laying around drinking cheap beer and listening to Pink Floyd or Portishead.

He passed Adam the joint without complicating things with words. Nigel listened to the way the little quiet popping hissing sound of Adam hitting the joint complimented the music. It was familiar, nice. They sat like that for a awhile, just existing together peacefully.

Eventually Adam rolled onto his side and pressed his palm over Nigel's heart, wiggling his fingers imploringly until Nigel scooped his hand up kissing his palm with reverence while Adam pressed his face into Nigel's shoulder.

"Thank you. I love you, you know"

"Nothin to thank me for beautiful I was just gonna be sittin around bitchin at Darko about numbers n shit. This is better"

"Yes, I think so too...Nigel... I'm so hungry. I didn't eat lunch today. The whole building was way to loud, everything felt like knives in my bones, and I know I should have eaten when I got home but my skin hurt to much to eat after all that"

"you're hungry huh?"

"And now I'm high and I'm starving, probably. But also I cann't possibly move Nigel. It's a fucking problem."

Nigel laughed fondly at Adam's post meltdown silliness, he treasured these little vulnerable moments, when Adam wasn't balancing on the razor edge of the whole world's expectations. When he was allowing himself to just be. It was gorgeous, Adam was always beautiful, but especially so when he was just being.

"Whatcha thinkin bout havin for dinner gorgeous?"

"Jack Kerouac swore that apple pie, ice cream, and coffee Was a complete meal."

"So you want apple pie and ice cream for dinner?"

"Yeah?"

Sometimes Adam felt guilty for wanting things still, even if they were small and easy to fulfill. Nigel would like to kill every single person who ever made Adam doubt the value & merit of his own wants, his own needs. You couldn't barbecue the whole world though. Nigel kissed Adam's finger tips.

"And you want me to order?"

"yes! The screen is so bright, it's so cluttered. That user interface was not designed with autistic people in mind"

"Fair enough babe, you roll us another a joint and I'll get on that damn dumblehopper doofenshmirty delivery app, whatever the fuck it's called and get us pie. Carmel?

Adam eyes went wide, obviously having kind of forgotten Carmel was a thing

"yes!"

Nigel scrolled through their delivery app, mindlessly, he only had eyes for Adam.

"Hey beautiful, I love you"

"I know... that's why you're ordering the pie for me. Otherwise you'd be at some dive bar arguing with Darko about numbers or something"

"I did say that didn't I? "

"You did"

"Hey babe, tell me about Alpha Centauri again while I do this, that's the close one right?"

Adam beamed at him, always delighted when Nigel wanted to hear about the stars, when he remembered little bits about them, because of Adam.

"Ok, Alpha Centauri is a star system in the southern end of Centaurus, there are 3 stars in it: Rigil Kentaurus, Toliman and Proxima Centauri. Proxima Centauri is the one you're thinking of, it's closest, at a little over 4 light years away, but close is subjective. That's not close by any standard except stars."

Nigel, found carmel apple pie, and ice cream, ordered an indulgently obscene amount of both. If Adam wanted pie he'd have so much damn pie. He hoped Adam could feel how happy Nigel was with him. This was better than anything else he could be doing right now. The best possible thing

Maybe wishes do come true, all he'd ever wanted really was this, a love like this, full, reciprocated, reverential.

He just didn't know that he could have anything this precious before Adam, his luckiest star.

Nigel sat back down beside Adam, kissing his ear lobe, just because it was right there and so perfectly Adam

"If I was an astronomer... or whatever the fuck they're called. I'd name every star after you babe"

Adam passed him the joint, kissing him back, face intentionally jokingly serious

"But would you bring me pie and ice cream still?"

Nigel laughed, both surprised and utterly unsurprised and endeared.

"yeah babe"

"oh well then, that's ok... As long as you don't forget the important stuff"

"I would never"

Never not ever, he'd buy Adam apple pie and ice cream every day for forever if that's what he wanted. He'd give him anything really, because Adam deserved everything.

And if Nigel had a single damn thing to say about it, he'd be the one to give it to him, for the rest of their lives

[soupbabe]

Hiiiii!

Could I request gwess x an autistic transmasc reader? please please please ma’am I’m not scared of rats/mice at all I will get in the fursuit if you want me too 🥺 I will squeak 🥺🥺🥺

she just seems like someone you wouldn’t have to mask around, like she really genuinely doesn’t think any of your autistic behaviour is weird, embarrassing, childish, etc. as someone who is frequently embarrassed/apologetic about their ASD/ADHD symptoms I just feel like I could be myself around her

Gwess x Autistic! Transmasc! Reader

Anon I love ur mind. She doesn't need to even ask I'm already stepping into the rat suit. Sorry for not writing so much, I hope this is enough!!

- For the most part, Gwess doesn't mind your behavior at all!! I think the worst offense she might commit is babying you a couple times

- Especially if you're smaller than her (or if she makes you smaller than her), she will have overwhelming outbursts about how adorable your acting, even if you're not doing anything outside of your norm

- You're her cute lil guy that's all

- But other than that I think she's pretty normal to be around! She doesn't care about your stims, speech patterns, or your interests!

- Gwess has been around Dolphin Street for a while, I'm sure she'll manage to sneak in some extra of your favorite safe foods if you've been having a rough week

- Head empty only you two sneaking out of the cafeteria during mealtime because it gets overwhelming for you both

- Her giving you special pet privileges !! As in she lets you pet her animals because they also make her happy

- Being close to Gwess saves you a lil from her outbursts !! Instead they're completely directed at everyone who doesn't like you !!

- Even if someone called you weird it can set her off. Y'know how she was so desperate to be Jolyne's lapdog after her fight with her? Yeah sorry that transferred over to you now </3

- Gwess gets pretty invasive: she invades your space, she'll dig through your things, nothing of yours is sacred. She'll find out you're trans before you tell her

- May not have the best language for it, but still supportive of it!

- if you take hormones, she likes to watch. Injections, gel, pills, whatever, she's going to watch and probably end up distracting you with questions

- She admires how you gave yourself a new name. Like if by some circumstance she found out your dead name she'd tell you to your face it was shit

- Names are important to her, she thinks your current one fits you just fine ♡

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

A FINDING NEMO Memory or Two

FINDING NEMO was one of the first films I actually really anticipated a long while before its release.

As a kid, I would often start anticipating movies once I saw a trailer in theaters during one of my frequent movie theater visits, and then that would be it. Whenever I was on the Internet, I wasn't frequenting movie news sites or anything like that. If anything, the release of FINDING NEMO had me going on those sites more often to see what was coming. What the news was...

I first saw concept art for FINDING NEMO in a DK-published hardcover book called DISNEY: THE ULTIMATE VISUAL GUIDE. I had gotten it as a birthday gift in October 2002. I was immersed into that book, a chronological tour through Disney feature film and even park history, throwing in television stuff as well. The page spreads so inviting, and so many great images and stills from the movies, made for really well put-together arrangements. My well worn-out copy is still with me.

The final page spread detailed movies then slated for 2003 and 2004... Only concept art for FINDING NEMO appeared, no stills from the actual movie. The images depicted were Nemo peaking out from behind a coral, Marlin and Dory looking at Sydney Opera House, and a long stretch of Nemo inside the dentist office fish tank. These images completely engrossed me. Just this colorful fish movie, incoming: I always had a thing for the underwater world anyways, between the many animal books I had as a kid to the nature documentaries I'd often see on like Animal Planet, Discovery Channel and such. I was taken to two big aquariums in home state every year or so, and was always fascinated and mesmerized by all those tanks, all that aquatic life. I had PC games about it, and there was also - semi-related - that Titanic phase I went through... The ocean, the sea, it's all very neat.

(As an add-on, the other movies on that page spread were PIGLET'S BIG MOVIE, THE JUNGLE BOOK 2, HOME ON THE RANGE, and BROTHER BEAR back when it was called "BEARS".)

Then, I got MONSTERS, INC. on DVD for Christmas... And when I saw that a teaser trailer for the movie was ON THERE?? I watched it over and over, along with just about everything else on that 2-disc DVD set...

I was all about FINDING NEMO, and I caught it on opening weekend... and loved it so much, I saw it two more times in theaters, which is something I rarely got to do as a kid back in the day. Then I was somehow able to rent it the Friday before its Tuesday DVD release. Rented it, over and over, til I got the DVD and VHS for Christmas. At the time, I didn't have a DVD player in my room, it was only in the family room and my mum's room... So the VHS sufficed, despite no bonus features! In early 2004, after winning a $200 gift card to Circuit City (lol, remember that? No? You might be a young'un reading this!) from a spelling bee, I bought an extension for my Xbox - which I also got for Christmas - that allowed me to play DVDs in my room. Yes, we kids/preteens of the early 2000s had it rough, haha.

On a personal note, this movie came out when my life was in a weird flux, and I was in a part of growing older that didn't go so smoothly. Not to divulge too much, but when you're autistic, neurodivergent, and you're coming of age in the early aughts... Not the nicest time, for sure... Yeah, things weren't easy... And at the end of the year, when the movie was finally out on DVD, I was going through a very big family loss. My first one, really... So, I really gotta hand it to FINDING NEMO for being one of the things that really helped get me through all of it... Just keep swimming, indeed...

Similarly, director Andrew Stanton's sophomore Pixar effort, WALL-E, got me through another tough time in my younger days...

I would say FINDING NEMO and MONSTERS, INC. made me fall in love with the work coming out of Pixar, especially in those early days when it was the movies being made exclusively by the Lasseter circle. As a little kid, I wasn't really that much into the TOY STORY movies, but I did like A BUG'S LIFE and played the PlayStation game quite a bit. MONSTERS, INC. I remember being a blur in the theaters for other reasons... But I asked for MONSTERS, INC. on video the year after because I did remember enjoying the door vault chase, so that was enough to make me want the disc and to watch it again. I got the DVD that Christmas, and as said earlier, I think the combination of that film, the FINDING NEMO teaser and the NEMO concept art in the DISNEY: THE ULTIMATE VISUAL GUIDE book turned me into a cultist for the Luxo lamp in December 2002, haha.

Then I went back to TOY STORY and TOY STORY 2, which I had on VHS, and gave those a proper re-watch. Now that I was 10, knew what computer animation was and how it was made, and having more of an appreciation for the way visual stories were told than I did at - say - age 6 or even 8... And I fell in love with both. Then I rented A BUG'S LIFE over and over until I was able to buy the DVD... I wanna say it was sometime in 2003, maybe early 2004, but it was the "Collector's" set DVD that promoted FINDING NEMO with a giant sticker on the shiny slipcover. Hell, if I remember correctly, I bought it at a Suncoast Motion Picture Company outlet in a mall... Back when there were more than... 4 of those across the country!

And then some 9 years later, I went and saw the 3D re-release... Surprisingly, for a movie made in 2003, it was converted wonderfully to 3D. The 3D actually added a very subtle but very immersive depth of field to many of the underwater scenes, it looked fantastic. So yes, I saw FINDING NEMO four times in theaters. I'd probably see it a fifth if it gets re-released for whatever reason, again.

It's a favorite of mine.

Hey, I once did a video essay on it, too!

Happy 20th Anniversary.