#I guess I’ll never stop rolling my eyes at the initializing of Alex in this moment

[overbearingstruggles]

Thinking about this and you know what’s fucking annoying is that I’m sure Mark almost never gets asked about Simple Creatures. Because it’s slated as a Big Deal for Alex to work with this influential star while it was some unimpactful, kitschy side project for Mark. A step up for Alex and a cute step down for Mark. I always understood that boring framing but I continue to detest it, considering it was mostly the ATL fans upholding the excitement, less of a leap for us than what constitutes your average elder male Blink/Mark fan, but just because those people didn’t get it doesn’t make it any lesser a passion project for Mark or uninteresting because those fans who are still allowed more credibility didn’t rally.

[wosoimagines]

Told You So

part 6 of rivals

Jo gets her first start of the Victory Tour in her home state, and the team finally gets to meet her family.

2,832 words

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“Guess what I’ve got.” 

I grinned as Hope tilted her head to the side. I tapped at my chest. 

“Hope you brought all the good trash talk today, Solo. You’re not gonna stop anything I throw at you.” 

“Yeah, whatever you say, Pip.” 

I pouted at the nickname. I was sure that I would have grown out of it by now, but Hope had been adamant about making sure it stuck around. 

“Jo!” I whirled around to look at Becky who did not look happy with me. “Stop taunting the goalies. Get to work!” 

“But that’s no fun,” I whined, although I was already starting to move to the opposite side of the field to get ready with the rest of the forwards. “You don’t have to be so boring all the time.” 

“If you don’t get your butt over there, I can really be boring for you,” Becky assured, “I’ll make sure you do all of your school work on our off day.” 

I shook my head at that as I started to jog across the field. 

“Always ruining my fun,” I grumbled knowing that the mic would pick it up. “I’m sixteen. I think I’m allowed a little fun, right?” 

My eyes found the camera that was following me as I gave it a little shrug. 

Once I reached the other forwards, Christen was quick to join my side. We didn’t initially say anything to each other as we warmed up. That was until Christen tried to nutmeg me, but I moved my heel just enough to keep the ball in front of me. 

“You’ve been spending too much time with Tobin,” I said as I pointed at her. 

Christen shook her head at that. 

“You’re in a really good mood. Your exams go well?” 

“I was exempt. All A’s.” 

“That’s good. Get you into Stanford with those grades.” 

“I know some others who would object to that.” 

Christen rolled her eyes at that. I had been hearing everyone hype up their own college, but I ultimately hadn’t decided where I was going to go just yet. 

“So, what does have you so happy?” 

“We’re in Texas. This is my home game. Jill told me she’d start me since I saved up all my tickets for the year so my family can come.” 

“You had to save up all of your tickets?” Alex asked behind me. 

I glanced over my shoulder to look at her before nodding. 

“But that’s almost thirty tickets,” Christen pointed out. 

I furrowed my brow in confusion. I hadn’t been shy about talking about how big my family was. 

“I have twelve siblings. That’s why they couldn’t go to the World Cup. There’s just way too many of us.” 

“You have twelve siblings?” Alex asked. I nodded. “Did your parents never hear of a condom?” 

“To be fair, I was a complete accident,” I admitted. “Marley was born when my parents were nineteen. Five of my siblings were born back-to-back years.” 

“You were an accident?” 

“Yeah, no one told my parents how long they should have actually waited after my dad got a vasectomy. Nine months later and there I was.” 

“They’re all coming?” 

“Yeah! And my niece, Sky. I can’t wait for you guys to meet Sky. She loves the team.” 

“Oh, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” I nodded. “She watches all the games. I think she’s the only one who knows more about soccer than you just need to get the ball into the back of the net.” 

“Well, then I can’t wait to meet her,” Christen said as she ruffled my hair. 

I grinned at that before we were all called to huddle so we could start our drills. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“What do you mean you aren’t coming?” 

I ran a hand through my hair as I paced in front of the foot of my bed. 

“I have an important interview scheduled, Jo,” Mom said causing me to scoff. “It could boost the book sales. And our family is expected to be there to support me. We’re supposed to be showing a united front.” 

“Yeah, because nothing screams united like missing your youngest daughter’s victory tour. I don’t even know why I try to invite any of you. It isn’t like I’ve been asking the team to save all of my tickets for the games throughout the year to make sure everyone in the family could come.” 

“You’ll have other games,” Dad cut in. I shook my head at that. They didn’t get it. They never did. “Us missing this game isn’t going to kill you.” 

“When was the last game of mine you went to?” I asked. Both of my parents went silent. I couldn’t even remember myself. “You couldn’t come to the World Cup, which is the biggest stage I’ll ever play on. You didn’t come to my national team debut. Those I could somewhat understand because they weren’t in Texas. But this? This game is in Texas. It’s San Antonio. It’s only three hours and you’re telling me you won’t even make that trip to watch me?” 

“We have more important things,” Dad said. I tried to blink away the tears that were starting to pool in my eyes. “We’re trying to think about the family.” 

“How about for once in my life, you think about me? It’s always been the family. No one has ever been there for me. Not really!” I snapped. I let out a laugh of disbelief. “The only person who has even cared to learn anything about the sport I love so much is Sky! You couldn’t even name half of my national teammates. You’ve never cared about soccer past whether I was a good player or not. The only time you’ve had something to say to me was when I lost. It’s never when I win. 

“I won the World Cup and I stayed silent when no one in this family besides Sky celebrated it because I knew that this game was going to happen. Silly me for believing that this family would actually show up to celebrate me for once! I had to watch as every single one of my teammates was able to celebrate with their family while I was left alone! You will never understand what that’s like!” 

“You want to talk about never understanding?” Dad snapped back. “You could never understand that sacrifices that your mother and I have made for this family!” 

“That’s your responsibility! You’re the ones who decided to have a family! It’s up to you to take care of us and make those sacrifices! I’m not the one who should be suffering just because I was the kid you never wanted!” 

“We’ve never said we didn’t want you,” Mom defended. I didn’t fight the tears this time. “You and most of your siblings weren’t planned but we have always wanted all of you.” 

“Do you?” 

Both of my parents went silent at that. They had never shown true interest in what I was doing. 

“You both have a funny way of showing it.” 

Before either of them could respond I ended the call. I tossed my phone to the side, not caring where it ended up, before throwing myself on the bed. I curled into a ball as I grabbed a hold of a pillow. I let out the loudest scream I could muster up as I just let the tears fall from my eyes. 

I didn’t even think too much about it when the pillow was pulled away from me and replaced with a person. I didn’t mind either even as someone else hugged me from behind as well. 

“It’s okay,” Becky soothed as she rubbed my back. “It’s okay. You’re okay, Jo. You’re okay. You’re safe.” 

It didn’t take much to deduce that the person who had pried me away from the pillow was Alyssa. Especially once she started to run her hand through my hair. And with the emotional toll talking to my parents had already taken on me, it wasn’t long before I was falling asleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I blinked my eyes open before I wiped my face. I frowned as I glanced around at the room. I tried to get my bearings, but it just felt like I couldn’t get over how disoriented I currently was. I could have sworn that Becky and Alyssa were here, but there was no trace of them. 

I reached over to grab ahold of my phone where it was sitting on the nightstand. I didn’t even remember picking it up after I had thrown it to the side. But then again, I wasn’t even sure what time it was. 

8:17 pm. 

Shit. 

Dinner was nearly over. I scrambled from the bed and into the bathroom. I turned on the sink and quickly washed at the tear tracks that were on my face. I couldn’t let any of my teammates know that I had been crying over something so insignificant. They had finally just started to look at me as if I was actually worthy of being on the team. I couldn’t let anything risk that. 

Once I had decided that my face was cleaned off enough that I wouldn’t get any questions, I grabbed a hoodie that was sitting on the desk chair before pulling the hood up over my head. I didn’t even bother with the elevator. I was much more likely to run into some of my teammates that way. The stairs were much safer. 

I made it through the doors of the mess hall that we had set up downstairs just before they stopped serving our meals. I was a bit surprised by how empty the room already was, I knew that most of the team liked to hang around and just chill with each other. But Becky and Alyssa were sitting at a table with each other with an extra plate. 

Becky was the first one to spot me and waved me over to join them. As if I ever ate with anyone else. 

“Feeling better?” 

I froze at Becky’s question. So, I didn’t make up Becky and Alyssa being with me in the room. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

I refused to look at either of them as I focused on my food. 

“Jo,” Alyssa started as I tried to shovel my food in my mouth as fast as I could, “it’s okay to be upset about it.” 

“Seriously, guys,” I said, once I swallowed the food in my mouth, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“So, you don’t want to talk about a call with your parents made you cry enough that you eventually fell asleep?” 

I pushed the plate of food away from me as my fork clattered against the table. I met Becky’s eyes as I clenched my jaw. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” I said after a moment of silence passed between the three of us. “I’m usually much better about making sure no one has to see that.” 

I didn’t waste any time standing up. I knew that I could at least hide away with Rose and Sam. We had, after all, gotten close while at the U-20 World Cup a year ago. 

“Jo.” 

Alyssa tried to catch my hand, but I was quick to shuffle away from the two of them. 

“I’m not hungry anymore.” 

I didn’t give them any time to say anything else as I left the mess hall. I knew that I would regret not eating my dinner, but I really wasn’t in the mood to eat right now. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“So, you know that we love having you,” Sam started, causing me to raise my eyebrows at the taller player, “but Becky keeps asking us to make sure you’re fine. Like multiple times a day.” 

I rolled my eyes at that. I had initially thought that Christen was just messing with me when she told me that I would never be able to escape Becky and Alyssa being my team moms now. 

“Did something happen that we need to know about?” Rose added. 

“Everything’s fine,” I assured. I had been so adamant about making sure that I wouldn’t be anywhere near Becky and Alyssa the past couple of days that I had even knocked out all of my homework for the entire trip. “Becky’s just dramatic. Really wish she’d learn that I don’t need a second mother.” 

“Hey,” Rose said, drawing my eyes from my phone to her, “Becky’s just worried about you. It’s a little unfair for you to be upset with her when we all are.” 

“Yeah, well, there’s nothing to be worried about.” 

“Jo,” Sam softly said, “You’ve been avoiding Becky and Alyssa for the past two days. Something obviously happened. Becky seems really worried about you.” 

“It’s nothing.” 

“Look, we’re not asking you what it’s about,” Rose said, as she grabbed my phone when I went to look at it again. “We’re just asking that you check in with Becky. Sam and I don’t mind you staying in our room, but we are getting tired of Becky constantly asking us how you’re doing.” 

I sighed at that. I knew that it wasn’t Rose or Sam’s fault. It wasn’t even Becky or Alyssa’s fault. 

“Yeah, sure,” I said. Becky at least deserved to know that I wasn’t mad at her. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow. After the game.” 

“Jo-” 

“After the game,” I reaffirmed when Rose tried to say anything. “I just need to make sure that my head is in the game since I’m starting.” 

Rose and Sam looked between each other before Rose nodded in agreement.  

“But you have to talk to her.” 

I nodded at that. It was a fair demand if I was going to still be here in their room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I grinned as I jumped up onto Sam’s back. The older woman grunted but she steadied herself. 

“I’m not a horse, you know.” 

“Come on, Sammy! I scored a hat-trick. Gotta keep these legs fresh.” 

“Try an ice bath.” 

I shivered at the thought. 

“No thanks,” I said to Sam. 

Sam huffed, but she didn’t fight to get me off her back. 

“Saw that your family is here,” Rose spoke up. I nodded at that as my eyes found where my family was sitting in the stands. “You weren’t lying that it’s huge.” 

“Did everyone think that I was?” I asked. Sam and Rose both nodded their heads causing me to huff. “No one ever believes me. Not even my friends at school. Am I really that hard to trust?” 

Both Sam and Rose froze at that. 

“Not hard to trust,” Becky assured me as she and Alyssa joined our little group. “But twelve siblings is a lot. Kind of hard to wrap your head around.” 

I slid off of Sam’s back. I knew that I needed to talk to Becky and Alyssa without anyone else butting into our conversation. 

“I can explain it all to you if you really need me to when we get back to the hotel.” 

Rose and Sam both shook their heads at that before making their exit to greet the fans. 

I looked at the two for a moment before rubbing at the back of my neck. 

“I was never mad at either of you.” 

“We know,” Becky said. She reached out to place a hand on my shoulder. “We were never upset with you. We just worry about you, Jo.” 

“Yeah, and the whole running off didn’t help,” Alyssa added. Becky was quick to elbow the goalie’s side. Alyssa glared at Becky. “Hey! I’m just trying to tell her that she worried us more by running off then just talking.” 

“I’ve never had anyone to talk to,” I admitted. Both of the older players looked at me. “I have twelve siblings and not a single one is that interested in soccer. Plus, Elvis and Mick are the closest to me in age and they can be assholes.” 

“Siblings usually are,” Alyssa agreed. “But they’ll always be there for you.” 

“I’m just not used to it,” I said. They two looked between each other causing me to motion to them. “People actively caring about me. I mean, they care. My family. I know they do, but there’s so many of us that things just don’t seem as impressive anymore.” 

Becky reached out to pull me into a hug along with Alyssa. 

“Well, you’ll always have us. Promise.” 

I squeezed the two a bit tighter before Alyssa forced her way away from us.  

“Okay, go spend some time with your family. After all, Becky didn’t convince them to come just for you to ignore them.” 

I paused at that as I turned to Becky. 

“Thank you.” 

Becky nodded before pushing me away. 

“You’ll have to bring Sky to the locker room with you,” Becky said with a grin. “Go enjoy the time with your family.” 

I nodded before rushing off over to where my family was. 

[kim-poce]

29 - Evie and Chris (part 2)

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=-=

Evie looked around the hotel room they had decided to talk in, “This is dangerous,” Chris looked at her with a questioning look, after he locked the door behind them, “Coming here with me, I mean, you shouldn’t have come.”

Chris gave her a warm smile, and as if the years hadn’t affected him he looked just as full of life as he was more than a decade before, Evie was glad for that, she was also glad while walking into Rabit’s role, she was never there before, she had made sure to take over that district, to turn this in a safe place so he could be safe, but she isn’t worth to be in a safe place.

“Thank you for the worry, but I don’t think you will hurt me,” Chirs said with a smile, he had a pretty smile, almost innocent, no, trusting, and those two words mean the same thing in Evie’s world, even when she knows they are supposed to be different.

Evie found herself unable to stop looking at his smile, at least she was unable until he flinched and she forced her eyes away. Of course, she thought, looking down, this is what happens if she tries to interact with good things, they can break at her gaze alone.

“This was… a bad idea,” she said, and Chris tilted his head a bit before walking closer, “This whole thing was just a bad idea, I’ll be leaving now, I’ll pay for the room, I’m sorry for taking your time and-”

“Hey,” Chris called with a sweet voice, and Evie almost looked at him, almost, but she didn’t want to scare him, she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, why did she go there in the first place? Talk? What was she thinking? Was she not satisfied with breaking everything else? Why- “Look at me.”

Evie took a deep breath and forced the polite smile she uses so often, “You don’t want that,” she said with a dry laugh, “Believe me, you don’t.”

“With all due respect, I’m the one who decides what I want,” Chris said, his voice unwavering, “Please, look at me.”

Evie did, she shouldn’t, she knew that but she wanted this, to look at people, to talk, to fill up the emptiness inside her, so she looked into the pair of blue eyes looking at her, Chris's pupil contracted in a normal response to the instinctive fear, but he didn’t look away.

“This-” Evie started, somehow she felt calmer, warmer, that was the right word, “Your eyes…” are calming.

After the initial shock Chris also calmed down, as if her eyes weren’t affecting him, almost as if she wasn’t some kind of monster, Evie felt tears rolling down again, just this much, it took years for me to cry and now only it only takes a small thing like eye contact, seriously.

“It’s okay,” Chris said, and Evie could as well as be twelve years in the past, “It’s okay-”

“It’s not,” Evie cut, looking back down, trying to muffle the small sobs trying to leave her mouth, “I can’t take anymore,” she admitted, it was all too much, from the recent talk with Alex to her fucking whole life, “I’m tired, I’m so tired. Is it even worth it?” Is living worth this all?

“Why don’t you sit?” Chris gestured to the bed, “And we can talk with more calm, you came to me to talk, right?”

“I did, but this was a mistake,” Evie said, not as firmly as she intended. Chris didn’t say anything, just looked at her with his calming eyes, “Do you know who I am?”

“Yes, I was in doubt at first but I guess everyone can recognize you,” Chris said, always smiling, “Evelyn Fortery, right?”

“If you know…why do you accept coming here with me?” Evie frowned, confused by the lack of fear on the man’s face.

“Because I’m always open to talk,” he said softly, “What do you want to talk about?”

Everything, and you… you are just like I remember, “I…” she sighed, finally giving up and sitting on the bed, “I didn’t choose this, my family or my role in the organization, I mean, and…”

Chris took an opportunity on the pause and walked closer, sitting right beside her, he had an expression that said he would wait until she is ready to talk.

“... I can’t get away from this all, I’ll get myself killed if I try, I’ll get my brother killed, that’s the reason I didn’t try this before. I can’t handle this anymore… but there is no giving up and, to be honest, I’m always tired, and I just suck it up and go on, but…it seems so hard now, maybe I’m too weak, maybe I always was too weak.”

Evie looked at her own scarred hands, trying to ease her mind enough to keep talking, it was hard to simply talk, to open herself, it felt impossible, she looked into Chris's eyes, “I don’t think I want to talk, maybe I should just go.”

Chris gave off a sad smile, “A hug?”

“I shouldn’t,” Evie said in a low broken voice, “... but please.”

Chris pulled her close softly, resting her head on his lap, Evie felt her heart racing anxiously, too vulnerable, too easy to be hurt, too- Evie closed her eyes when the soft hand started caressing her hair, she took a deep breath, t’s okay, it’s okay, “I missed you, it’s my fault that you don’t remember me, you can’t do so, but I think of you a lot, I really missed you.”

“... I don’t remember you, that’s right but,” Chris thought about the feelings without a memory that has been in his mind for twelve years now, “You never left my mind since that day in the alley.”

=-=

Taglist: @rose-pinkie, @latenightcupsofcoffee, @cupcakes-and-pain, @wolfeyedwitch

[hurricanery]

If the Sun Comes Up - pt. 4

A/N: Hi, it’s been a while, but here’s part 4 of If the Sun Comes Up! (AU - interns fic). This is me ignoring s17!!! Sorry for the delay, this has been repeatedly deleted from my drafts for the last week & then i didn’t even edit or make changes SO idk what all that was for. anyway thank you for sticking with this story! Previous parts here: part 1 // part 2 // part 3

Or, you can read on ao3.

_______

And so it starts, you switch the engine on

We set controls for the heart of the sun

One of the ways we show our age

_______

She has no idea how she got here. Or more specifically, how she could be pressured into something like this. Maggie typically prided herself on standing firm; standing her own ground and refusing to be swayed by others. But none of that self-proclamation holds true right now.

Because she’s here. Driving Winston’s car. Trunk filled to capacity and two of her roommates squeezed into the backseat.

The hypocrisy of it all is almost infuriating. Because Maggie hates camping.

“I hate camping,” she voices her detest out loud.

An apologetic sigh can be heard from Winston next to her, where he sits passenger side. But ultimately, it’s Amelia’s voice that grabs her attention, the bewilderment making itself known from the backseat.

“Oh, come on,” there’s an element of disbelief to her tone, and Maggie locks eyes with her through the rear-view mirror.

“Step out of your comfort zone a little, Maggie!” She raises her eyebrows, beginning to gesture with her hands. Link shuffles in his seat, where he’s squeezed in tightly beside Amelia, in an attempt to free up a little space for her body language. Some of the camping supplies had ended up packed over half of the backseat, and Maggie can’t help but chuckle at the proximity of Amelia’s hand to Link’s face as she gestures absentmindedly. “It’s camping. It’s adventurous, it’s-”

Maggie has since focused back on the road, but the sudden pause in speech makes her feel uneasy. Amelia’s focus shifts from the packaged tent next to her, to the back of Winston’s head, and then back to Maggie.

“It’s sleeping in a tent,” she continues, a spark of gleam in her eyes as she scans the couple in the front seat. “Or, maybe it’s not sleeping. Hey, I mean, whatever the two of you-”

“Amelia,” Maggie cuts in, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter as Winston’s hand comes to rest on her knee, giving it a soothing squeeze.

“Come on, babe,” Winston murmurs. “It’ll be fun. And plus, Karev would definitely be proud of us.”

Maggie grins a little, despite herself.

They’d been a bit all over the place, as a group of interns. A little bit too chaotic and never fully on the same page. As their resident, Karev was constantly voicing his impatience about the dynamics of the group. She partly thinks that yes, Alex would be proud of the bonding journey that they’d chosen to embark on, but the more realist part of her brain can’t ignore the obviousness that being roommates was probably bonding enough.

Maggie peeks in the rear-view once more, this time checking to make sure that Lexie and Jo are still following in the car behind them. She catches Amelia’s stare again and consequently feels the need to brace herself.

“Babe?” Amelia bites her lip, repeating the pet name Winston had just used. “What happened to ‘we’re just friends?’”

“We are friends.” Maggie sighs, trying her best to ignore the amusement that radiates from Winston at this specific call-out.

“And Link and I are friends,” Amelia’s quick with her rebuttal, tilting her head towards Link. “I don’t go around calling him babe.”

Link sucks in a breath, and then another one, with the addition of Amelia’s afterthought. “But maybe I’ll start.”

It’s subtle. The way Link’s face changes. He hides it just as quickly as it surfaces. But it’s there, she hasn’t imagined it, and it’s the first thing to make Maggie genuinely smile for the length of the trip so far.

“I’m kidding,” Amelia nudges Link with her shoulder. “I can come up with a better nickname than that.”

“Okay enough,” Maggie suppresses the grin she feels spreading across her cheeks. She reaches forward for the knob on the dashboard, turning the music up.

Link’s relief at the diversion tactic is almost palpable. Maggie can practically feel it from the backseat. She thinks maybe the feeling rising in her chest equates to sympathy.

She loves Amelia. She really does. Which is saying a lot, especially for her. It takes effort for her to grow comfortable with people, or to even relate on any level. She’s always felt a step ahead of most people in life. But Amelia really challenges her. It’s only been a couple of months since they’d met, and somewhere along the way, things changed. Amelia’s unpredictable nature had shifted from something Maggie initially feared, to something she appreciates. Like the human embodiment of the push she needs. The push she needs to take things less seriously, or the push she needs to open up and be spontaneous. Whatever the case, it’s never felt more necessary. Like she’s been missing out on it for too long. So, she tries to embrace it at every turn.

“Are we almost there?” Amelia pipes up again from the backseat. “I have to pee, and believe me, I’m down for a little side-of-the-road action if that’s what it comes down to-”

Maggie groans impatiently. But then she remembers about embracing it. So decidedly, her next words sound gentle. “We’re almost there, hold it together.”

_______

It ends up taking two full hours for six surgical interns to figure out how to set up a campsite. And even though the task is grueling, the level of teamwork somehow exceeds what they normally display during a typical hospital shift.

The sun starts to set as the second of the two tents finally stands on it’s own and everyone takes a moment to finally relax.

“That wasn’t too bad,” Link sits back against the tree on the outskirts of their surrounding area.

Jo huffs out a breath as she joins him, rolling her eyes. “That was two hours of my life that I’ll never get back.”

“What’s next?” Amelia steps out of the larger tent, pulling a sweatshirt over her head. “Does anyone know how to build a bonfire?”

_______

She has no idea how it got to this. How six grown adults could resort to immature party games around a campfire and feel so content about it. Maggie had been relieved when the game of ‘truth or dare’ ended as quickly as it started. She’d been hoping for something a bit more intellectual. A little less high school.

Unfortunately her hopes were never granted.

“Wait, I feel like the stakes aren’t high enough.” Amelia had tossed the observation out flimsily.

But the observation had its impact.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

And then the ideas had piled on.

“Loser has to cover my scut work in the ER all week.”

“No way.”

“Loser has to make us each a s'more.”

“Nah. Stakes not high enough.”

“Loser has to jump in the lake.”

Amelia had voiced the last one, resulting in a surprised type of silence. The type of silence that could raise stakes.

It was the ultimatum they were looking for, apparently. And to much of Maggie’s dismay, they hadn’t moved on to an intellectual game. Nothing worth raising the stakes over, at least.

Because they’d settled on a game of ‘never have I ever.’

“Okay, okay. My turn. What have I not done…?” Amelia trails off, deep in thought, and it earns some chuckles from the group. “Oh! Never have I ever had a threesome.”

Suspectful eyes dart around the bonfire, and Link’s attempt to conspicuously fold down a finger fails.

“Link!”

Jo giggles hysterically.

“You have?” There’s surprise in Amelia’s voice, and it corresponds with the way her face lights up.

“You haven’t?” Link bites back.

“Well, almost, I guess. But-”

“Okay!” Jo interjects. “No need for context! That’ll just slow us down. Link, your turn.”

“Okay,” Link grins determinedly across the bonfire, eyes landing on Amelia. “Never have I ever almost had a threesome.”

Amelia scoffs, dropping a finger.

“Wait!” Maggie fast-tracks her disapproval. “Are we singling people out now? The game will end too quickly if we-”

“Never have I ever been named after an iconic literary figure.” Amelia jumps in again, completely ignoring Maggie’s objection.

Link drops a finger, rolling his eyes. Too easy.

“Never have I ever slept with Mark Sloan.”

He sounds proud of this one. And all focus drifts to Amelia, whose eyes narrow only slightly as she drops another finger.

“You did what?” Maggie seems skeptical.

“You did what? When?” And Lexie’s voice sounds strained.

“Shit, sorry. Too far?” Link’s pride genuinely replaces itself with worry.

“I never meant for it to be a secret.” There’s something distinct about Amelia’s tone as she jumps back into the game, clearly with the intention of going after Link again. “Never have I ever-”

“No!” Maggie seems to be the only one intervening at this point. “No, stop. My turn. If we play it your way, this game will be over in two seconds.”

Amelia and Link shrug dismissively amidst the general hums of agreement.

“Never have I ever…” Maggie pauses, taking a moment to truly think on it. She racks her brain for ways to prolong the game. “Never have I ever been arrested!”

Amelia slowly drops her last finger, a grimace consuming her face, and Maggie’s mouth opens wide in shock.

“Amelia, what,” she breathes. “I was trying to keep people in the game. What-”

“We agreed on no context!” Amelia is quick to refute, forcing a grin as she repeats the request spoken earlier.

“Okay….” She draws out her response, and the next part of her sentence sounds quiet, or laced with secondhand defeat. “But you lost the game already.”

“That’s fine,” Amelia is just as quick to stand from her chair, shrugging casually at what that entails.

“Amelia-”

“To the lake? Or am I doing this without witnesses?”

Maggie’s brows furrow at the bitterness that exists in that question, but then Amelia turns, walking away from them, and Maggie is the first to go after her.

_______

"Amelia, you’re the one who made the rule. You can’t back out now.”

They’re all huddled together at the sandy area near the dock that edges out into the dark lake, and Maggie can’t hold back her impatience. She’s a rule-follower, after all. She's also cold. And she just wants to be by the bonfire again.

“I know, I know. I’m….” Amelia trails off, exhaling harshly. “Just give me a minute.”

There’s momentary quiet. The kind of quiet that nearly gives room for everyone to re-think what’s about to happen. But, if anyone's thoughts were the loudest, they were Amelia’s.  

“The sun was still out when I made up this rule!”

That’s true. Maggie can give her that. It’s late now, purely dark outside except for the glow of the moonlight reflecting off of the lake.

“We don’t know what’s in there…” Amelia adds, eyes focused on the body of water before them. “We don’t know if it’s safe to swim here.”

“It’s a state park,” Winston chuckles.

“And there’s a sign right there,” Lexie adds matter-of-factly, nodding towards the edge of the sand. “No lifeguard on duty. Swim at your own risk.”

“Amelia, it's a swimming beach.”

There’s an element to Amelia’s expression that Maggie sees herself in. It provokes that feeling. The heart-lurching feeling that comes with the awareness that you can’t bring yourself to do the thing you intend to do. The restlessness that rises with the opposition of your mind moving miles a minute but your feet remaining frozen where you stand. It takes place in the nervous system. And it’s like the physical manifestation of not being able to rip the bandaid off, or not being able to take the plunge, to be more literal in this scenario.

Suddenly, Maggie’s hit with the fleeting recognition that everyone’s the same deep down. Some were just better at hiding it than others.

The revelation almost makes her feel sympathy. Almost.

Because Amelia’s version of hiding it was turning out to be displaced over-confidence.

“I knew you were all talk and no-”

“I’ll jump in with you,” Link interrupts, nudging Amelia, who shakes from her daze as she turns away from the lake, locking eyes with Link.

“Shit, I’m down, too,” Jo shrugs. “I’m right behind you guys.”

A look of pure skepticism crosses Amelia’s face, and Link just starts to grin, hugely.

“No,” Maggie breathes. “No, no, no.”

Because she knows what this is about to turn into. And then it’s all happening, fast.

Link is stripping down to his boxers, tossing his clothes into a pile on the grass just left of the dock. And then he’s running. His feet clamber against the wood paneling as he takes off over the structure that extends along the shore and into the body of water.

There’s a huge splash. And then he resurfaces, gasping.

“It’s not that deep, come on!” He yells. “And it’s warm, too. Like a hot tub!”

The next thing Maggie registers is that Jo is following suit, peeling off her sweatshirt and tossing it towards Link’s pile of clothes.

She feels Winston’s hand grip her shoulders, gently pushing her towards the dock as he murmurs “Come on, babe.”

There’s another splash somewhere, and then Jo resurfaces, giggling hysterically. "Link!” She gasps dramatically, “You liar, this is fucking freezing!”

And all Maggie can think is this is so unfair.

_______

It’s so unfair.

The fact that five people have somehow endured jumping into this lake and yet, Amelia remains unscathed. Secure, on dry land, a smirk on her face that can only signify that she thinks she’s won.

“Amelia!” Maggie yells once again. “You have thirty seconds to get into this water.”

“Maggie-”

“No way,” Maggie cuts her off before the smug tone can set her off even further. She lets go of Winston’s shoulder, which she’s been holding onto for dear life since she jumped in, and she swims closer to the dock. Closer to Amelia. “I won’t let you play us like this.”

Amelia grins further, dipping just her toes in the water. “Maggie, I’m not trying to play anyone, I-”

“Get in the water, Amelia!” Maggie shouts, but her impatience only leads to more smugness on Amelia’s behalf.

She almost gives up. Accepts defeat. But then Link is joining her, inching towards Amelia on the dock, whose expression falters only slightly as they approach.

“Should we splash her?” Maggie tilts her head towards Link, inquisitive edge to her voice. “We could splash her.”

The threat seems to be the push Amelia needs. She shakes her head incessantly as they make their advance, and she takes a deep breath before she goes to remove her jeans, adding them to the pile of clothes that everyone else has stripped off.

Jo whistles from somewhere further out into the lake and Amelia’s smirk returns, a complete result of the knowledge that she has an audience. Her classic Harvard sweatshirt gets added to the pile and then she’s on an even playing field with everyone else, dressed down to whatever underwear she’d thrown on this morning.

They continue their approach, and Amelia looks down just as a burst of wind forcibly shakes the branches of a tree above, thus causing her to wrap her arms around herself.

“You’ll warm up faster if you get in, Shepherd.” Link says in a low tone.

“I know,” Amelia’s tone is just as low. “But I’m not jumping.”

“What happened to adventurous?!” Maggie mocks her. Not harshly, but more so aiming to re-inspire the fearlessness that previously had been.

“I’m not jumping in,” Amelia repeats as she sits at the edge of the dock, letting the water hit her up to about mid-shin. “I’m just gonna kind of slide in….” She trails off as Link pushes forward, now in shallow enough water to stand. And when Amelia goes to wrap her arms around herself again, Maggie swears it’s out of modesty this time.

“It’s harder that way,” Link smiles up at her. “But okay.”

“Okay,” she repeats his sentiment, but doesn’t make any move to get into the water.

“Okay,” Maggie interjects, directing her next words at Link. “As apparently the only rule-follower here, I give you full permission to do whatever it takes to get her into this water already.”

Her instructions result in a mischievous twitch of Link’s lips, and conversely, a look of complete betrayal from Amelia.

“Your rules.” Maggie quietly defends herself.

Link turns back to Amelia, who meets his gaze with pure panic in her eyes. But he steps closer anyway, placing his hands around her shins and pulling her a couple inches closer to where he stands in the water.

She gasps. Her hands fly out, landing on his shoulders. “Wait wait wait!” She cries, the alarm in her voice matching the frantic action of her nails digging into his skin.

Link stops his movements, placing his hands on her knees as he tries to read her facial expression.

Her eyes dart between his. “You swear it’s not too cold?”

“It’s not cold, Amelia,” he murmurs, moving his hands underneath her bare thighs and pulling her forward an inch more.

Maggie looks between the two, suddenly feeling out of place, or like she’s witnessing a private moment. But, she can’t tear her eyes away. She feels transfixed by the eye contact happening between the pair, and she lets out a stunned chuckle.

“It’s not cold,” Link repeats, and now Maggie scoffs. Because this moment is becoming almost unbelievable with tension. But then Link’s expression changes. Just as quickly as flipping a switch. The facet of mischief returns to his eyes and then he’s opening his mouth again.

“And I’m so sorry for this!” He shouts as he finally pulls Amelia into the water, throwing his head back with laughter as she resurfaces before him.

Her arms are still wrapped around his shoulders in a viselike grip. “Alright, screw you for that!” She laughs as she comes to her senses, consequently letting go and distancing herself from Link. “But thank you, I guess."

“My pleasure.”

Maggie watches, eyes burning with curiosity, and she’s not able to hide the smile that creeps onto her lips as the pair move as far away from each other as possible. The interaction is way too amusing, and part of her feels like, if she were the menacing type, this would be the perfect opportunity to pay back some of Amelia’s relentless teasing with some of her own.

“Can we get out now?” Lexie swims up, interrupting her thoughts. “I’m kinda over this.”

“I just got in. Was that for no reason?!”

“And whose fault is that?” Maggie snickers. But it doesn’t sound harsh at all, as she offers Amelia a comforting smile.

When they eventually leave the shoreline, Maggie feels a sense of fondness course through her. Or maybe protectiveness. Whatever the feeling, it was definitely the stark opposite of her previous annoyance with the way the evening was turning out.

She carefully observes as Amelia slows behind the group, and she slows with her, matching her pace.

Amelia offers her a small smile, before a shiver takes over her body, interrupting her guise. It makes sense, Maggie thinks. Because soaking wet hair and the sun going down in the middle of nowhere might just bring on that sort of involuntary action.

But she can’t ignore the shift in energy. The sudden vanishing of the confidence and even the playful competitiveness.

“You okay?” She eventually asks.

“Tired.” Amelia only offers a shrug, her thumbnail nearly reaching the corner of her mouth in a restless action. But it’s like she catches herself, as Maggie’s stare burns into her, and instead she drops her hands to her sides.

“Me too,” Maggie’s voice is soft, and an impulse rises in her that screams comfort. Suddenly, her arm is wrapping around Amelia’s shoulder tightly, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Let’s get some sleep.”

_______

It’s a known fact that Maggie hates camping. She can think of several reasons for that. One of the side effects she’d fail to consider, though, was the consequent lack of rest that would come with it.

It couldn’t be any later than 5am, she concludes, as she unzips her and Winston’s tent and steps out into the dark campground.

To much of her surprise, she’s not alone. She’s not the only one experiencing the unwanted side effects of sleeping in a tent.

“Hey,” Amelia’s voice sounds gravelly, as she perks up from the chair she’s seated at around the empty bonfire. “Good morning.”

“How can it be morning?” Maggie groans. “Does it really count as morning when you didn’t get any sleep at all?”

“You’re preaching to the choir.”

Maggie frowns. “You didn’t sleep?”

“Link snores. And Lexie talks in her sleep….” Amelia weakly attempts a smile, and it just makes Maggie’s frown deepen.

“Everything alright?” She asks.

“Yeah, just wish I’d slept better.”

Maggie squints, because there’s detail there that she can’t quite decipher. She scans Amelia’s face another moment, before an idea strikes.

“Do you want to go on a hike with me? Watch the sunrise?”

“You don’t really seem like the hiking type.”

“You’re right. I guess ‘hike’ is a strong word. But anyway, how about it?”

Amelia stares blankly at her for a long moment, before eventually she nods, standing up.

“Alright,” Maggie grins. “Let me tell Winston where we’re going first.”

_______

They take a marked path. Signs at every turn highlight for them which way to go. It’s a few minutes into the hike before either of them speaks. It’s Amelia who opens up the conversation.

“Ready to be home?”

Maggie laughs. “Absolutely. I’ve been ready since the moment we got here.”

“Well, hopefully they have the cars all packed by the time we get back.”

Maggie nods, then reaches for the water bottle she’d brought with her, taking a few sips.

“Do I tease you and Winston too much?”

The question completely catches Maggie off guard, and she harshly swallows her sip of water.

“Huh?”

“I can be….a little overbearing sometimes. But,” Amelia offers a quick side-glance. “At least I’m self aware about that.”

“Not at all. I mean, honestly, Winston gets a kick out of it so-”

“Yeah, but do you?”

Maggie stops walking, her face muddled with confusion. It takes Amelia a moment to realize she’s stopped, and she turns around, meeting Maggie’s stare expectantly.

“Amelia….If it bothered me I would tell you.”

Amelia nods at this information, and then turns away, continuing on the path.

“Was I too harsh last night? About the rules of the game?” Maggie quickens her pace, catching up.

“No,” Amelia laughs under her breath. “We needed the discipline, I think.”

“Yeah but you didn’t need to jump into that lake. I can be a little of overbearing sometimes, too, so-”

“Nah. We balance each other out.”

Maggie squints, a little surprised by that observation. She’s taken aback by the accuracy of it, and it’s evident in her inflection.

“We kind of do, don’t we?”

Amelia beams at her, before her gaze returns to the path below. “I’m glad we came to that realization.”

Comfortable silence falls between them, and there’s a few minutes dedicated purely to the hike, before Amelia clears her throat to speak again.

“Although, I am trying to jump less. So maybe I need you to balance me out just a little more.”

“You lost me,” Maggie quirks an eyebrow at her. “Are we talking about the lake still?”

“Metaphorically. Maybe.”

Maggie’s expression just grows more perplexed, urging Amelia to continue.

“I’ve been….historically known to jump into things. Or people. Or habits, or…” She cuts herself off with a harsh breath, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. “I’d like to do that less. The whole….jumping blindly and hoping I’ll land, thing. So. Maybe I need you to balance me out a little more.”

Maggie nods, slowly grasping the explanation. “I get that.”

“Do you?”

“Well, no,” Maggie frowns. “I’ve never been one to….do anything, really, without weighing the pros and cons first. But, I do get what you’re saying, though. Even if I can’t personally relate.”

Amelia keeps her eyes glued to the path ahead, and the lack of response forces Maggie to attempt filling the silence with her own self-reflection.

“I’ve been thinking of taking a note from you, in that way, actually. Sometimes I really need to think less.”

This makes Amelia smile. “Maybe we can try to meet in the middle somewhere.”

“Yeah, that might be good for us.”

As the conversation trails off again, Maggie can’t help but question what specifically Amelia is referencing. She doesn’t want to push, especially given her recent self-proclamation as overbearing. But part of her thinks that one last inquiry won’t hurt.

“You and Link seem to have fun.”

Amelia’s eyes snap up to Maggie’s face before the sentence is even finished.

“What makes you say that?”

There’s not an ounce of emotion in Amelia’s expression. It’s probably the best poker face Maggie has ever seen. And so she’s careful with her next words, her voice slow and questioning.

“I just mean....you know….the banter?”

“Banter?”

“Yes the banter, Amelia,” she lets out a stunned chuckle. “I don’t know how else to put it! It’s like you’re constantly play-fighting. It’s like….it’s like this weird, alluring competitiveness that’s almost uncomfortable to watch. It’s being at each other’s throats over a stupid game of ‘never have I ever.’ It’s the craziest form of flirting I’ve ever witnessed, and it’s-”

“Link and I are friends.”

“Winston and I are friends.” She bites down on her grin, trying to contain the pride that radiates as she uses Amelia’s own pointed claims against her.

“Okay, don’t pull that on me.”

“I think it’s perfectly fair-”

“Maggie.”

“Amelia.”

Two pairs of eyes tighten upon scrutinized contact.

“Amelia,” she softens her expression a bit. “All I’m saying is….despite it being weird to watch.” She releases an awkward exhale.  “I think it works. I think you’ve kinda met your match.”

“There’s no match to be made, Maggie! I’m-”

They’re both a little caught off guard by the frustration and volume of Amelia’s tone. And Amelia takes a moment to breathe before she continues, an octave lower this time.

“I’m jumping less, remember?”

Maggie wants to frown. She wants to disagree. She almost wants to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

But they’re edging towards the outskirts of the campsite. She can hear voices, and the distinct sound of car trunks slamming shut. Which signifies that they’re nearing the end of the hike, so she bites her tongue instead, because Amelia looks too exhausted to argue it more.

They clear the trees, entering the campground, and Winston watches them approach.

“Hey! Cars are packed, but it’ll be a tight squeeze again,” he smiles sympathetically. He walks forward to rest his hands on Maggie’s shoulders in familiar reassurance. “And you get to sleep in the car, because this time I’m driving.”

_______

Maggie doesn’t think she’s imagining this part.

Her lack of sleep the night prior results in Winston’s refusal to let her drive. Which only bothers her a little, because the exhaustion outweighs her requisite for control.

Her eyes feel heavy as she rests her head against the window. She tries to focus on the road ahead as Winston drives; doesn't want to give up being a second pair of eyes as she sits passenger side. But her fatigue gets the best of her. Although it’s difficult to separate her overtired brain from certainty, she doesn’t think she’s imagining this part.

She hears it first. Link’s chuckle.

It’s enough to shake her from her reverie. She lifts her head and tries to be conspicuous as she turns, glancing into the backseat.

Amelia’s sat in the middle seat again, squeezed tightly between the camping supplies and then Link on the other side of her. Her eyes are fighting to stay open, and she's doing that weird head bobbing thing. That subconscious move that happens quite literally before falling asleep.

“Hey. Here.”

The sound of Link’s voice causes Amelia’s eyes to widen, quickly becoming aware of herself. She continues to blink, fighting off a bout of exhaustion that Maggie completely sympathizes with.

When Amelia locks eyes with him, Link simply pats his shoulder, indicating a potential landing spot for her head.

She frowns tiredly at him.

“Just do it,” he shrugs, patting his shoulder again. “I’m a better option than that boxed tent.” He nods past her. “As far as pillows go, at least.”

Amelia seems to fight it for a second. She really does. Her eyebrows pull together as she continues to stare blankly at Link.

Maggie diverts her attention because once again, she feels like she’s intruding on some private moment. But she remains listening. She can’t help it. There’s some shuffling around and then-

“Hm.” She hears Amelia hum. “You do make a decent pillow.” It’s followed by a murmured “Thank you.”

“Sure. What are friends for?”

Link’s response is barely a whisper, but Maggie can hear it still, even over the general hum of the highway below. She doesn’t think she’s imagining this part.

What are friends for?

It’s enough to make her turn in her seat again, an incredulous stare plastered on her face as she raises her eyebrows in Link’s direction.

He seems not to notice her interest, or rather her disbelief. Because his focus is consumed by the dark head of hair resting against his shoulder.

Amelia’s eyes are shut tight, her expression revealed when she adjusts herself slightly against him. And then Link smiles to himself, still unaware of the scrutiny descending from the front seat.

Maggie allows the doubt to flood her mind as she turns to rest against her own window again, and she fights off a smile as she lets her eyes finally close.

Friends. Right.

//

[sunflovverharry]

Friends with Benefits - Chapter 3

a/n: hiii, sorry it’s been a while since I posted chapter 2, but I’m finally back with chapter 3! It’s a bit shorter, but an important one. will hopefully be writing a lot more now that exams are almost over :)) anyways, enjoy this chapter and please feel free to tell me what you think and reblog <3 pairing: police officer!h + Alex word count: 5k warnings: it’s pretty clear from now there will be language, alcohol consumption, smut and trouble with body image in basically every chapter so from now i’ll only write M (mature)

Seemingly, both Harry and I had gotten what we wanted out of each other. Two breathtaking fucks and the intimate moments after where we cuddled and basked in the afterglow of the sex.

It really wasn’t enough for me though. He was like an addiction and I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of him. Not that I have a way of contacting him or meeting him except meeting him at the bar again - if we even go at the same time. As he has said; he isn’t one to party a lot nor go clubbing too often. We both spend most of our time at work and it seems like we don’t mind that.

Saying goodbye the Sunday morning two weeks ago I thought it would be the last time we’d meet. Now, standing in the same club as always, staring into Harry’s eyes I couldn’t let the smile grazing my lips go. It was as if all my hopes and dreams were heard when Harry gave back the same smile and made a ‘come here’ motion with his hand up in the air so I could see over the bodies between us. Grabbing my pint of beer, I left the bar and swiftly made my way over to where Harry was sitting. The group I was with had just entered the club and they were still at the bar waiting for their drinks as I didn’t say a word when I walked off.

Harry was seated at the end of a booth close to the corner, his back turned to his mates as I came to stand in between his thighs to be able to hear each other over the loud music blasting over the speakers. I took a drink of the beer before sitting it down next to what I assumed was Harry’s pint.

“Hi, pet. You alright?” Harry placed a soft kiss to my cheek in greeting as he basically screamed into my ear. I leaned away to look at him while giving him a small shake of my head, yeah, I was just fine. He looked smashing in his colourful button-up missing a couple buttons at the top, making me see the top of his butterfly tattoo when I let my eyes gaze down to take him in.

“You celebrating or something?” I took a quick sweep over the rest of the table he was with and there was an expensive bottle of champagne being passed between them. Not the most sanitary or anything, but who was I to judge when I’d definitely done the same when I was drunk. Who exchanged spit and drinks with who, weren’t on the top of our heads when we were drunk and only wanted to get more drunk I guess.

“Nah, the mate who broke it off with his girl some weeks ago dragged us out and he’s making them down everything he buys. I’m driving today though, so only a pint for me. What’re you doing here again?” His hands were dangerously close to the tops of my thighs as they held me close and his thumb pressed patterns in my skin. I was wearing a skirt and a quite revealing top tonight, though not expecting to meet anyone, especially Harry. Maybe in the back of my mind I thought there was a possibility as this is the place we’ve met both times - and now a third.

«Oh, good to see he’s doing alright then. Just here to have a couple pints, didn’t wanna get too drunk or stay out too long tonight. Have quite a lot of paperwork to get through this weekend.» Harry groaned when I mentioned work, not wanting to think about it for tonight I guess. I didn’t really want to think about it either.

«Don’t remind me. I have to go in at six for a couple hours to finish a report, but then I’m off for about a week thank god.» He finished off with a smile thinking about some - I’d say well earned - days off.

«Well then, to celebrate that, how about we go back to yours to have an even better time than we’ll have here?» It was bold of me and I knew it, but that’s how it had been since the first time we met. I took initiative and went in full force and there were absolutely no regrets.

Harry sucked his lips into his mouth as he dwelled over what I’d proposed. There was a slight shimmer to his eyes as he moved his head back to get a good look at me. I didn’t mind his eyes travelling over my body, only enjoying how he didn’t hold back from showing me he liked what he saw. It gave me the last bit of confidence I felt I needed being with a man like Harry.

Not giving a verbal answer, he took one last drink of his pint before getting off the leather seat. His hands turned my body around, settling on my hips as he walked us straight past the bar and made our way outside. The parking lot he’d left his car in was on the other side, quickly jogging over the road when no cars were coming.

It was a lovely night, warm and just humid enough to not break out in a sweat. Perfect start of summer weather. His car was nice and looked expensive at first glance. The inside was clean, no dirty napkins or bottles on the floor. He must take good care of it cause most other lads’ cars I’ve been in haven’t been nearly as clean as Harry’s. I gather that he doesn’t want to talk about it when he doesn’t even look at me to see what kind of reaction I had to it.

«You drove here when you could've walked the fifteen minutes? That’s lazy of you, mr. police officer.» I hadn’t used the nickname last time and I missed it. Harry didn’t exactly seem to mind it either as he took in a harsh breath after hearing it. Even more of a boost for me.

«I thought I would have to drive my mates home as they clearly are getting wasted out of their minds.» Of course he was the sensible one of the group, he’s a fucking police officer. Knowing how he cares for his friends and has his life set makes me feel a bit angry at myself. Why did I have to get an obsession over someone I’d never be enough for? «And to be honest, I’m glad it’ll get us home quicker cause I’m already bulging after you calling me that, pet.» I only giggled and looked out the window, not wanting to be caught staring at him.

The car ride went by in silence after that. The quick five minutes were agonizingly slow and I couldn’t stop thinking about getting to feel Harry again. It made my thighs clamp together to try and get some sort of friction to satisfy me.

Having parked the car, both of us jumped out and almost ran to the door wanting nothing more than to get inside and rip our clothes off. God I can’t wait to feel his achingly perfect cock inside me for a third time. I should probably try to forget about him after this time, knowing we’ll stop seeing each other at the club as often during the summer as I’m planning to be gone for most of it anyways.

«I’ve been dreaming of meeting you again. Honestly can’t get you out of my head, pet.» Harry seemed a little hazy as he quietly let the words tumble out of his pretty pink lips I still haven’t got to taste tonight. Good thing it’s only just passed ten and we have all night to enjoy each others taste.

«Shut up and kiss me already.» He closed the short distance between us as he pulled me to him, front against front. His rough grip on my waist made me grow more want for him. Maybe he finally realized after last time that I wanted it rough though I might come off as someone who wants to take control. I don’t mind but god do I like being thrown around at times and Harry did it really fucking well.

My bottom lip was between his in a second, sucked into his mouth and left his lips with a pop. I couldn’t help but already pant at the anticipation and need for him. My lips were slightly open, ready for Harry to slam his lips back on mine and tongue taste the inside of my mouth, licking into it. He didn’t waste a single moment on teasing me or waiting till I couldn’t anymore - dominating the kiss before we even touched lips nevermind tongues.

It made my stomach turn in excitement for the night and lust for the man in front of me. There weren’t any sparks, most likely because we didn't even know each other besides the basics. Well, not even the basics - not even knowing his age. Names and workplace are the only two things we’ve told the other. It felt fucking good having this platonic stranger with benefits. I guess that’s what I would put us as? There were no feelings ruining things or other people's opinions as we were still strangers.

«I want you to cum in my mouth this time.» I barely managed to get the words out of my mouth as Harry was too eager to get his mouth on mine. When he heard what I said though, it was like his eyes got darker and his grip tightened around me showing how much he also wanted that without saying it.

Feeling his tongue get familiar with my mouth again was intoxicating, making me want to make out with him for hours on end. I wouldn’t mind if we dropped sleeping and just moved our lips together until the sun rises.

«You wanna.. upstairs?» Harry was already breathless, either because he knows what he’s getting or because of the kiss. I hummed in response, guiding us to the stairs leading up to his room. If this is going to go how I want it to, I’ll want to be comfortable and though the couch was good, his bed is the best option.

I trusted Harry to be careful and considerate but also push limits which was exactly what was needed tonight. No ‘are you sure’ or ‘i don’t want to hurt you’ talk, just straight to it. No, I wouldn’t get to feel his length inside me - unless he thickens up again right after which I doubt - but maybe before he has to head out. Maybe his fingers will suffice for tonight.

«You’re going to fuck my mouth, officer, and I’m gonna take it like the good girl I am.» There was no point in not being direct from the start, teasing unnecessary and unwanted from both sides. He looked like I told his biggest dream was coming true as he bit his lip and rolled his eyes back as he tried to collect himself for a moment. My fingers danced over his neck and shoulders before tugging his shirt over his head.

«Lay down. Head this way, pet.» The pet name he had called me since we first met had grown increasingly on me and I couldn’t imagine being called anything else. Following his orders I got on the bed, facing him, head almost dangling off the bed. It was risky to let him take control over my airways, but it was a risk I was willing to take.

There was no doubt he was hard and ready to burst if he just got a little lick to his slit, but there is also no doubt he’ll hold out for as long as he can. Leaning down, he slotted our lips together in a more than messy kiss that was hard to navigate as we were upside down. His hands caressed my cheeks before moving to pull my top down, letting my tits spill out on top. I knew he liked them and since depriving himself for longer than needed last time, he was making up for it this time. Pinching my nipples he got a moan out of me telling him to keep going. I loved when my tits were played with, the sensitivity a great feature.

My fingers trailed down his sides languidly, feeling his abs flex at the sensation. Gripping the front of the trousers he was clad in, I somehow managed to open it up before pulling it down along with his briefs as far as I could. Harry moaned into my mouth as his cock freed from restraint and I got my hands on it only tugging lightly.

Biting my bottom lip he pulled away to make sure I was comfortable where I laid before shuffling the few centimeters closer so his tip rested on my lips. I was excited to taste him again and to feel his impressive length down my throat. It being something I don’t usually do unless I trust the person or really want to.

He left it to me to take him in and start licking and sucking him deeper into my mouth which I gladly did. Starting with a kitten lick to his slit he groaned and twisted my nipple between his fingers at the feeling of finally being touched where he needed it. I closed my lips around his tip focusing on sucking it and licking around it, but knowing he’s sensitive already I put my hands on his hips trying to get him to move closer. Feeling the welcome weight on my tongue as his cock drove deeper into my mouth, stopping at the start of my throat, I sucked and bobbed my head only slightly as it was hard to move in my position. Not yet knowing exactly what he likes in terms of blowjobs, I listened for sounds he’d let out or if he rutted his hips more at something I did.

«Fuck that’s it.» He murmured before letting out the loudest moan I’ve heard as I helped him go deeper, reaching down my throat. I liked the sensation, knowing I - or Harry - could control something so dangerous as my breathing.

Harry began thrusting his hips more, guiding his cock himself down my throat, keeping still for a second before letting me breath and doing it again. I removed my hands from his hips, wanting him to take full control and let them lay flat on the bed. It was intoxication listening to him pleasure himself with my mouth, only making me wetter by each groan.

«Shit- oh god!» It was as if he was losing his sense to keep himself at bay, the feeling of being down my throat too good. I didn’t mind, loving the fact that he felt comfortable enough to completely be himself for me.

Harry fucking my mouth was intense, the feeling of him pushing his cock as far down my throat as possible, cutting my airways for seconds at a time made me dizzy and want to succumb to every need of his right this moment. I loved laying there, taking everything he gave me without the ability to stop him except if I really needed to of course.

There was no need to stop though. He knew exactly when it was enough and pulled out and when I could take more.

«Agh.. Your mouth feels so fucking good Alex-» It was like he didn’t quite know how to express himself, too far gone in his own head. «I’m gonna cum.. Mmh, you want it down your throat, pet?» Even when he was gone he still called me pet and I reveled in it. It made me smile around him, but quickly going back to shutting my lips around him as he was back to only putting the tip in. I sucked and licked at his slit wanting him to get his release. It didn’t take much before he was shooting ropes after ropes down my throat, moaning as he filled up my mouth with his cum.

I’m sure I had tear streaks down from my eyes to my temples, but to be honest I hadn’t paid attention to anything except Harry’s cock in my mouth for the entire time. I enjoyed it just as much as he did.

«Fucking hell, pet.» Harry’s slowly softening length slipped out between my lips and I opened my mouth to show him his work before swallowing all of it. He groaned at the sight and bent over to catch my lips for a sweet kiss mustering up the little energy he had left before falling on the bed right beside me.

Laying next to each other trying to catch our breaths, Harry’s fingers delicately trailed up and down my thigh laying next to his torso. It felt nice to have the cuddly, cute aftercare I so badly craved for with every other lad who only wanted me gone after emptying inside me. Which is mostly the reason I began only letting them cum on my tits or arse. It was a fair deal I thought, seeing as a lot of them didn’t even get me off.

His chest was still somewhat heaving, begging for more air when I sat up dizzy from the blood coming to my head and not regaining my breath completely either. His eyes opened to see if I was going anywhere. I was still fully clothed, only my tits hanging out next to a naked Harry who seemed to have kicked his pants off all the way. His cock laid slack against his thigh, tired from the intense orgasm.

«Did you enjoy that?» I don’t know why I felt like asking this time. My confidence was always up when I was with him and it sounded and felt like he really liked what I was doing. My tits were red with his marks and I hadn’t felt a thing being too busy reveling in Harry. He could get it with me anytime he liked and I would comply and do exactly what he wanted.

«Did I enjoy that?» He chuckled and moved to hold his weight up on his elbows. «That was unreal. I was so fucking gone in my own head I didn’t even think about you. Are you okay, Alex?» Course he cared for how I was feeling, it was like second nature for Harry to care about the people around him. Probably the reason why he became an officer.

«Yeah, I really liked that.» I hadn’t even been close to reaching an orgasm from that alone, but damn it if I hadn’t enjoyed myself more than with any other lad - who I’ve never even let fuck my face like that.

«Do you wanna sit on my face? Honestly don’t know if I can move right now.» He was good to look at so I let my eyes wander, his tattoos shining along with the rest of his skin with a light layer of sweat. I shook my head no, telling him I was good for now.

«I might wake you up tonight if I can’t sleep though.» Winking at him as I got out of bed fixing my tits before going downstairs to get a bottle of water. My throat was rough and the aftertaste of his cum wasn’t that nice any longer.

Bringing a bottle of water up for Harry to drink, I jogged up the stairs only wanting to fall asleep as soon as possible. Not getting much sleep during the last month has gotten to me and the one weekend I have off I want to make up for some of it.

«Is it alright if I sleep here?» Again, don’t know why I felt the need to ask Harry if I could stay the night when I’d done it the last two times.

«I was kinda hoping you’d stay and I could return the favor when I get back from work in the morning? I’ll be done by nine at the latest.» Harry didn’t look like he was scared of getting rejected, almost talking as if it was the most normal question. Maybe he recognized there was something up with me and was trying to act as normal as possible for me to relax again.

«Mm, I think I can do that.» Harry smiled from where he was still laying, telling me to ‘come here’. I didn’t object and fell straight into his arms with a quiet sigh. His hands grasped my body tightly to his, fingers going up and down my spine. «Think I’m gonna fall asleep in a few seconds if you continue doing that.» It felt incredible having someone dote on you without any pressure or hidden feelings behind it.

«Let’s get up and get ready for bed then, yeah?» I nodded and reluctantly removed myself from his arms pulling him up with me.

Standing in the bathroom brushing our teeth together felt oddly relaxing. A thing normally viewed as intimate between a man and woman when they’re sleeping together at least. There had been intimacy between us since our first night together I feel, so we might’ve gotten used to it - not thinking about how this isn’t normal for people who only have sex.

Deciding to push the thought to the back of my mind, I got undressed to my underwear before jumping under the covers waiting for Harry to get in behind me and pull me close.

— Morning after

I wasn’t aware of my surroundings as I was still asleep and only barely waking up when I felt the unforgettable feeling of someone going down on me. Slowly opening my eyes as I let go of the moan I couldn’t even try to hold back, I saw the duvet was still covering my body, one leg sticking out while my right knee was sticking up under the duvet.

It was undeniably the best wake up call I’d had in years. Maybe even since the morning of my fifth birthday which was twenty years ago. Lifting my arms to lay above my head, my hips started moving along Harry’s tongue wanting to get as much pleasure as I could out of it. Since when were men this good at eating a woman out?

He smiled against my clit as I continued to sound my pleasure and circle my hips against his mouth, obviously liking how much I enjoy what he was doing. And I sure did enjoy it, a smile finding its way on my face as well before more sounds took over and I couldn’t find the energy to moan through a smile.

His tongue flicked my clit once, twice before sucking it between his lips, tongue still flicking. It was warm and wet when he released it going down my slit, pushing his tongue in me. I don’t understand where Harry learned how to eat someone out when literally no other man even knew where my clit was. His arm hooked around my thigh moved down so his thumb could circle my clit, pressing into it at times to get more heavy breaths from me.

I didn’t last long, Harry going at it like he was starving, reaching my first high this morning from oral with a soundless moan. My hips didn’t stop grinding into his lips and he didn’t let up until I moved my hand to push him away. I was sensitive and not quite awake yet as I came down from an orgasm I couldn’t compare to anything else.

Harry came up from under the blankets, fitting himself between my still open legs. Seeing the smile on his face, chin and lips glistening with my release on them, made me pucker my lips together wanting to taste myself on him.

«Mm..» Harry moaned into the kiss, his body fully leaning down on mine, barely holding his weight up as I took most of it. It felt nice - his warm body encompassing mine fully.

Keeping him close we spent the morning in bed, kissing and ultimately slipping him in when he spooned me. The position being intimate and sensual, but the morning stillness and tired bodies made it the best way to get off in this moment.

After rolling around in bed for an hour, enjoying another orgasm or two, our hungry stomachs made us get out and make our way to his kitchen. The sun was shining through the windows making the room light and the slightly warmer wind blowing through the open french door made it so the shirt I had put on was just enough to not get cold.

Sitting down on one of the dining chairs I watched him move around in his kitchen making us french toast for breakfast. The clock had just passed ten and I was planning on going straight back to bed when I got home then hopefully finishing up my paperwork. I needed the sleep or I don’t think I’ll function the week coming up.

«I wanted to talk to you about something.» We had been sitting in silence as we ate the toast until Harry’s words broke the comfortable silence. I nodded and moved my eyes to connect with his showing him I’m all ears.

«We’ve had sex a few times now and first of all I want to make sure we’re not giving each other anything. I know I’m not sleeping with anyone else.» I understood where he came from. We don’t know what the other does when we’re not together and because we’re not using a condom we could easily bring an STD into the picture.

«I told you I haven’t been with anyone but you the last year, so I’m clean. Even went to the clinic last week.» It was a necessary conversation, but telling him I’d been checked after we’d slept together was a little awkward.

«Good. I’m clean too, checked on tuesday.» Harry nodded, but didn’t seem done with the conversation. To prepare himself for the second part of the conversation, he took a bite of his toast before swallowing it down with some water.

«I wanted to ask you one more thing. It’s absolutely fine if you say no, but know I’m one hundred percent up for it.» He looked me in the eyes as I waited for him to ask what I had a feeling he would.

«Would you wanna make this a regular thing? Exchanging phone numbers and meeting up whenever we want a release instead of not knowing if we’ll ever see each other again? I think we’re pretty compatible in bed and I’ve had a better time with you than any old fling I’ve ever had.» He was laying our options on the table, suggesting we become friends with benefits. It had crossed my mind, knowing I wouldn’t object to having a benefit relationship with him. Honestly think it’ll be more beneficial for me and I never thought he’d bring it up.

«I’d be up for that, yeah. Not to make things awkward but you’re a pretty decent lad with a more than satisfying member to be fair. Would be stupid to turn you down - anyone would.» My cheek grew hotter as I spoke, a tint of red covering them I’m sure as I’m clearly not as bold and confident when we’re not in bed or drunk.

Harry only smiled at me as I basically confirmed our new relationship - friends with benefits. It’s been five weeks and too many wet dreams since I met him and knowing I can have him almost whenever I want - and when he wants - is just perfect. If I can give him half as much pleasure as he gives me I’ll be a happy lady, but I will aim to give him mind blowing orgasms every time.

«Didn’t think you’d be up for this sort of deal with the whole police thing.» Looking up from my plate as I ate the last bite of my delicious toast, Harry squinted his eyes at me.

«And why’d you think that?» He didn’t sound irritated or confused but intrigued to know what was going on in my head. Putting my trust in him and being honest is a huge part of us - I think at least - so I washed away all anxiety and worry. Not that he made me have a reason to be anxious around him.

«Just thought you’d be a bit proper and all. Guess that went out the window - along with my knickers - the first time we met, huh?» Snickering at the memory of him throwing my knickers out his window, Harry joined in also thinking back to five weeks ago. Being able to have banter with him is good, makes things less serious as it should be between friends with benefits - I think at least.

“What are you saying then? Wanna give me your number, pet?” Harry looked at me with the happiest smile on his face; there is no way I’m letting neither of us down by denying us having regular hookups. I’d be causing myself pain to not let him fuck me as much as he wants.

“Happily. One tiny condition though, we always meet here cause I have a roommate and I want to keep this between us. Not because I’m ashamed, but because she likes to meddle in my business and it’ll be easier if she doesn’t have proof of anything.” Harry agrees, not wanting anyone else talking about our - not quite so normal - relationship.

It was easy being myself with Harry, he made me feel safe and relaxed. There was no need to keep my guards up around him though we’ve not known each other for long. Not that it mattered much, there were people who got married after only a couple months of knowing each other - which we most definitely will not do.

[bonjour-rainycity]

Double Heart | Chapter Sixteen ~ Cosima

|previous part|

Pairing: Haldir x OFC

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 3021

Warnings: None

A/n Every chapter, you all make me smile so much <3 Thank you!

Haldir leaves and I let out something halfway between an exhale and a groan.

What. Was. That.

My room, which is a very respectable size, felt like a matchbox as the space between Haldir and I minimized. He went from weeks of keeping a consistent physical barrier between us to ghosting his hands over my arms, my hips, my waist…It’s…new.

And when he held me close, his chest so nearly brushing against my back—

I shake my head against the onslaught of scenarios that run through my mind.

I should not be thinking of him this way.

Haldir is a friend, a guide, an instructor, nothing more.

I let out a deep breath and begin to pace, trying to work off this newfound energy. Haldir and I trained for nearly two hours, I should be exhausted. Instead, I feel wide awake, invigorated, jittery, like I couldn’t possibly go to sleep. I groan, taking my hair out of its bun and letting it fall around me. I stop in my tracks, glancing at the spot where Haldir and I stood so close together just moments ago.

I cannot stay here.

I tear through the open door, turning right and taking the staircase that leads to the first floor. I turn left and, before I know it, I’m standing in front of Alex’s closed door.

I knock.

The door creaks open. “Hey,” he greets, opening it wider to allow me in. “What’s up?”

“I uh,” I purse my lips, having not really thought through my plan. I do need a distraction though, and being out of my room is already helping clear the fog from my brain. My eyes catch a pile of books on his nightstand. “I came to help you research, if that’s okay.”

His face lights up. “Yeah! Yeah, of course. I’ve read those three so far,” he gestures to a small stack by the window, “and there’s nothing helpful in them. Everything else in English is fair game. Is there anything specific you want to look into?”

“Fæs.” I’m surprised that the answer comes to me so easily, but as soon I speak the word, I know it’s true — I do want to learn more.

Alex nods slowly. “Yeah, okay, I think I’ve got a couple books on that here. Let me….” He trails off, spinning in a circle as he searches for a specific volume. “Ah.” He squats down and grabs a book near the foot of his bed, reaching it up to me.

An image of Haldir, crouched on the ground, hand warm against my ankle, staring up at me with such intensity, so much confidence—

Alex stands and I look to the ceiling, trying to will away the image and the feelings that come rushing along with it.

“What makes you want to learn about fæs? Isn’t that an elf thing?”

I purse my lips, stalling until the embarrassment fades enough to look Alex in the eye. “Haldir mentioned that humans have their own version of a fæ — a little weaker, a little different, but generally the same concept.” An idea begins to take form, and I roll with it. “I was wondering if—assuming that our fæs remained unchanged between our homeworld and Arda—well, if we could use it somehow, tap into it and reclaim our memories. If anything were to remember, wouldn’t it be our spirits?”

Alex nods slowly, a grin tugging at the edges of his lips. “That’s actually not a bad idea. Great thinking! Let me know if you find anything.”

He settles into the couch, leaving the bed for me. Gratefully, I cozy up against the pillows. I open the book, skimming the introductory chapter, which is basically just a summary of the core concepts Haldir has already explained to me. When I’m on chapter three, the sky passes firmly into night, and even the plethora of candles Alex has lit aren’t enough to keep my eyes from straining.

I pull my knees to my chest and lean forward, glancing over at my friend. His cheeks — which had been gaunt when we first reunited, now take a healthy shape. His shoulders no longer hold vestiges of tension — they lean relaxed, leisurely, against the back of the couch. Even in the limited light, he squints his eyes and continues to read, seeming intent on soaking up as much knowledge as he can.

I rest my chin on my knees. “I need to ask you something.”

He looks up, his eyebrows drawing together in concern. “Okay?”

“Are you alright?”

He sighs, shifting in his seat. “Cosima…”

“No,” I protest. I don’t care if it’s uncomfortable, he needs to talk about things. He’s been bottling it up since he arrived in this world and it hasn’t done anyone any good. “I mean it.”

Alex groans, shaking his head. “Fine, okay. It’s…strange.” He pauses, but I wait, holding out hope that he’ll continue. He does so, slowly. “I’ve…gotten myself to accept that I’m in a different world, but I can’t wrap my mind around the how. That’s stressful. We don’t have a solid plan to return home, nor do we know if we’ll find one. That’s depressing. And, I have flashes and snippets of memories, but otherwise, I feel like I don’t know who I am.”

My heart breaks. Here my friend is, hurting, lost…

And I’ve left him completely alone.

Alex tilts his head to the side, contemplating. “But I do feel better than when we arrived, or even just from a few days ago. Having things to do, feeling useful and like I have agency for the first time…it’s really good for me. And, well,” he dips his head then raises it again, leveling his eyes on me. “It’s helped me realize something else — that I owe you an apology.”

I blink in surprise. I’ve been the one that has pretty much abandoned and ignored him. I should be apologizing.

“On the road, I said some pretty mean things, and I isolated you from your friends and tried to take control. I didn’t mean for it to be like that. I was…” he sighs, shaking his head, “scared out of my mind. I already felt like I couldn’t do anything to fix the problem, and then on top of that I felt like you had completely given up and it was my job to save us both. And I know now that’s not the case, but for a while…” He trails off, shrugging his shoulders. “You’re just more adaptable than I am, I guess.”

I push myself off the bed, cross the room, and sit next to him on the small couch. Automatically, he throws an arm over my shoulder, the movement so familiar and easy that he must have done it a thousand times before. I lay my head on his shoulder, the bone there pressing against my ear.

I take a deep breath. “If we had really been kidnapped, or injured, or anything more realistic than what actually happened,” he gives a small, tired laugh, the movement shaking his shoulder, “you would’ve been the one to get us out. I know it. Even now, you’re the one putting in all the hard work to get us home. I’m sorry I’ve pretty much left you to handle it alone.”

He squeezes my upper arm gently. “I appreciate it, but I don’t blame you. I get it.” He shrugs again, a measure of sadness creeping into his voice. “It’s not like you remember anyone enough to miss them. If you have people you like here, of course you’d focus on them.”

I feel my lips pull into a guilty frown. “They like you too, you know. You all just need to spend some more time together—”

“Nah,” he shakes his head, pushing a smile onto his face. “It’s okay, honestly — we just don’t click. But I have you, and Baranor and I get along well, and I have this project to work on. It’s enough for me.”

I sigh, resting my head against his chest. I hope that’s true.

{***}

At breakfast, Lavandil and I make plans to meet at her shop. She gives me directions and I hurry up the stairs to my room, changing out of my tunic and leggings and into something a little more fun for my first day of work. I settle on a dark purple gown, one that billows down my arm in puffy gossamer sleeves and has a slight, sparkly train. I’m probably a bit overdressed, but knowing Lavandil’s extravagant wardrobe, I’ll fit in just fine. I bound down the staircase, eager to discover the market and the shop. I turn left, intent on exiting the building.

And crash into the middle of someone’s chest.

Hands grip my upper arms, steadying me as I stumble back. Once I’m righted, I look up, and my mouth falls open.

“Cosima—”

“Haldir—”

Both of us freeze, having spoken at the same time. I purse my lips, waiting for him to go first. He raises an eyebrow, evidently expecting the same of me.

But I can’t make the words happen. His hands on my arms send my mind right back to the tension of last night, to the room that started light and open and turned more intimate than it should as the night went on.

Haldir’s arms fall to his sides. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you turning the corner. Are you alright?”

I nod, my eyes darting from his chest clothed in a cobalt blue tunic up to his eyes. The intensity from last night is gone, now replaced with a noticeable degree of hesitance.

Interesting.

Did he feel something last night, too? Or does he know I did, and now feels awkward around me?

That last thought sends a wave of stress through me. Was I horribly obvious? Have I messed everything up?

“Are you off to Lavandil’s shop,” he inquires, pulling my mind away from these anxiety-inducing thoughts.

“Yes.”

He quirks a smile. “Then I imagine you will be seeing a lot of my brother today. He has a tendency to hang around there.”

“Probably a result of him being in love with the shop-owner,” I quip, voice going high with nerves.

He raises an eyebrow. “Yes, I suppose that would do it.”

We fall into awkward silence.

Haldir clears his throat. “Well, enjoy your day.”

“You too,” I nod, crossing paths with him to exit the building.

Once outside, I take in a gulping breath.

Did I create all that weirdness? Or is he struggling to figure out how to act around me, too? And why?

Things have never been strained or awkward between myself and Haldir. Once he got over his initial suspicion of me, we got along easily. I feel like he understands me better than the others and, if I had to pick a favorite, as Rumil prompted me not so long ago, it would be, without question, the supposedly-stern Marchwarden leading our company. And, based on the amount of time he spends with me of his own accord, I would say he enjoys my presence, too.

So, that begs the question, what could have happened to turn all that ease on its head and replace it with stilted, awkward, unsure interactions? We were fine until last night—

I suck in a breath.

My brain, apparently useless until I looked the issue straight in the eye, starts piecing together instances of my time with Haldir, forming a terrifying and exhilarating picture.

Sleeping between me and the entrance to our camp so I wouldn’t be frightened. Spending hours alone with me lying on a blanket staring up at the stars. The way he panicked and looked after me when I had my migraine. Big things like that and smaller ones, too — the way he teases me, the way he always makes sure I’m cared for, whether that means sharing from his canteen or sending me with food when I’m likely to miss dinner. The way he’s conscious of my fears—heights, orcs, you name it—and provides support without coddling me, enabling me to handle and face them on my own. The way his arms, so gentle yet so secure, held me close, even for just the smallest of moments.

Could we…have feelings for each other?

Could this rapid and strong attachment to an ellon I met mere weeks ago be something other than friendship?

With a sinking feeling in my gut, the momentary rush of excitement falls into something much more sinister. Something that, in any other world would be a wonderful, thrilling feeling—the one I am developing feelings for maybe, potentially, might see me the same way—is here, horrifying.  

Because elves live forever and love only once.

And a human lifespan is dismally short.

Rumil’s face after our conversation yesterday, crestfallen and saddened, comes to my mind.

If my mere friendship with these ellyn will cause them grief when I’m gone, then even entertaining these thoughts about Haldir….

It’s deplorable.

From the heart of the city, the bell chimes. I’m late to meet Lavandil.

I shove down the ache that makes my lips quiver and hurry down the path that will lead me to the market.

The distraction of working with Lavandil will be my lifeline.

I cannot allow my feelings for Haldir progress any further. So, though I’m not sure how effective I’ll be, I swear not to think about him for the rest of the day.

{***}

“What happened last night between you and Haldir?”

Damn.

I made it two hours.

I swallow, trying to seem busy as I hang a tapestry on a display. “What?”

Lavandil comes up beside me, using her height to hang the art properly. “Rumil told Orophin who told me that Haldir came back from training with you and seemed quite flustered.”

My body runs hot. “Did he?”

“Mhm,” she nods decisively. “Apparently he returned to the room in a rush, wouldn’t say a thing, and then spent over three hours at the training grounds, sparring quite harshly with some of the guard.”

Even though the tapestry is hung, I pretend to fuss with it, not brave enough to meet Lavandil’s eyes. “Nothing happened. Maybe he just wanted a better workout — I can’t imagine I was much of a challenge.” I try for a joke, and mercifully, she gives me a pity laugh.

Her demeanor softens. “Cosima, you know there’s nothing wrong with having an attraction, or even feelings.”

“Of course there’s something wrong with it,” I shriek, much louder than I meant to. I look at her with wide eyes, surprised by my outburst.

Thankfully, no one is in the shop, and Lavandil only regards me with calm eyes, no judgement in them.

“I’m sorry,” I hurry to apologize, sitting myself in a chair at a nearby table. On top of it sits a beautiful garnet tablecloth — Lavandil’s work. She sits across from me.

“It’s alright,” she smiles kindly, resting her elbows on the table to mirror me. “I had a similar disposition when I realized I loved Orophin.”

“I don’t love him,” I correct quickly.

She puts her hands up in the sign for surrender, though her bottom lip pulls like she’s trying not to make a face.

“I don’t,” I insist, putting effort into keeping my tone non-angry. I lower my voice, worried, perhaps irrationally, that Haldir himself will go waltzing by and hear my dreadful confession. “It’s, at most, an interest, and probably not even that. Likely more of a curiosity.”

“Well, interests are nothing to be ashamed of.” Her tone matches my low volume and carries in it a gentleness I could never hope to emulate.

“Yes, they do!” My voice drops to nearly a whisper. “Lavandil, he is an elf. You know I’m human. The two don’t mix well.”

She huffs. “There’s nothing to say that. An elleth here, Arwen—”

“Is walking into a tragedy,” I cut her off.

Lavandil’s eyes narrow. “Too many people see it that way, and it is getting quite old. Do you know what I see? Two souls in love. Though their futures are bleak and incompatible, their presents are filled with joy and love and the connection that can only come from two fæs who want each other so badly finally bonded. They would still face pain if they ignored their love for each other — so why not give themselves what joy they can?”

“But she will die—”

Now it’s Lavandil’s turn to interrupt. “Arwen is fully grown. She is wise, and I trust that she knows herself well enough to make the choices she has. Her life is ultimately her own. She can spend it how she pleases.”

I press my lips together, head falling to stare at the deep red tablecloth. Despite Lavandil’s conviction, her words do nothing to allay my fears.

The only thing that awaits an elf bonded with a human is grief and death.

Arwen may have made her choice, but so have I made mine.

“Rumil said elves can take centuries to fall in love. Is that true?”

Lavandil pauses, caught off guard with my change in topic. “I-in some cases, yes. More that it could potentially take that long for an elf to admit they are in love. Often, even if they are not ready to accept it, their fæs know. And even then, that is the timeline in the most rare of cases. You know, for Orophin and I it only took a matter of—”

I raise my eyes to her, pleading. “Lavandil.”

She sighs, staring at me like she wishes I had asked her something else. “Fine, yes. Elves fall slower than humans.”

I take in a deep breath, nodding.

Good.

Because if I have only just noticed these feelings, chances are, if Haldir were to follow suit, he is way behind. The instance Lavandil described from last night, the other hints that show he might be feeling something…I can end them now.

I have time to stop this.

I have time to save him.

A/n So, funny thing, @errruvande got pretty close to guessing Cosima’s reaction to realizing her feelings for Haldir, so shout out to Liza!!! Seriously though, love her, love her blog, I’d definitely recommend checking her account out! Thank you all for reading! 

|next part|

|masterlist|

Tolkien tag list: @anangelwhodidntfall @eru-vande 

Haldir tag list: @tolkien-apologist

Double Heart tag list: @lainphotography @themerriweathermage @thophil2941btw @kenobiguacamole @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @from-patroclus-with-love @boywivlove @ordinarymom1 @my-darling-haldir @sweet-bea-blossom @moony-artnstuff

[awanderingdeal]

Never too late - 8

An eternity later and it is here! Part 8 of 'Never too Late'. How much of this is me projecting? You'll never know.

CW: Food, alcohol, feelings of queer exclusion at prom, coming out, [very minor and it is shut down] compulsory sexuality.

Please message me if you feel I missed anything out.

Just a note, that due to the POV of this fic, there is a lot of linking between relationships and romance to prom. I just want to reiterate that prom absolutely does not have to be a romantic event if you do not want it to. The beef is more that queer kids do not always have the choice to go with their partners safely, and the stress of not knowing whether it would have been okay or not.

I hope that all of you that wanted to were able to have the prom you wanted and if you weren't able to, please know it is just ONE day. Throw your own if you want to. Don't if you don't want to. I know for myself, I have a lot of feelings about it, so please don't read this if it going to upset you.

Rating: T

Previous and future chapters can be found on my masterlist.

All credit for Sweater Weather and these characters go to @lumosinlove

8. Go to a dance. Kiss your first love. Well, at least you think they are anyway. But remember kids, consent always.

Leo was excited, to say the least. Sprawled on his bed, laptop in front of him and his cell to the right, he knew it was getting late, but he wanted to research a little longer. He had a venue and a catering team locked down; the latter he had done reluctantly, after yet another person had told him that he absolutely could not cater the event himself.

His phone buzzed insistently, and Leo grunted. Why would anybody call when you could just text? He grunted again when he read the caller id.

Regulus. What a traitor.

“Hello?” Leo answered, rolling onto his back. He felt a tightness in his lumbar region, and made a mental note to mention it to Hestia in the morning if the sensation was still there when he woke up.

“Go to sleep.”

“ I will soon,” Leo hummed. “Did you look at my text?”

“Leo. It’s 2am.”

“Yes, I worked very hard to learn to tell the time, thank you.” In truth, the last time Leo remembered checking the time, it had still been the previous day. Logan had a popped his head around the door to tell Leo that he and Finn were going to crash in one of the other rooms, and that Leo should get some sleep soon. Leo had nodded and assured Logan he wouldn’t be too long.

Regulus’ sigh on the other end of the phone interrupted his memory.

“And you’re getting cranky,” Regulus said. Leo could imagine the smooth raised eyebrow that accompanied the words. “If I tell you which theme I like, will you go to sleep?”

Leo shifted, pushing himself up against the stack of pillows. He nodded eagerly, before remembering Regulus couldn’t see him. “Yes. I promise.”

“I like both -”

“That is not helpful!”

“Wait a second. Merde. You should combine them.”

“That’s,” Leo wrinkled his nose, contemplating the idea. “That’s actually kind of genius.”

“You can thank me later,” Regulus offered smugly. “After you’ve got some sleep.”

***

“So Reg, who’s the lucky person who gets to be your date to this thing?” Finn asked, plucking a brownie from the plate in the middle of the table, before settling into the seat opposite Leo.

“It’s not a thing!” Leo protested.

“Sorry, babe. This prom,” Finn grinned.

Regulus worried his lip between his teeth, looking first at Leo and then turning his gaze back to Finn. “Do I have to go with someone?”

“Yes,” Finn said resolutely, at the same time as Leo shook his head, giving the opposite answer.

“No,” Leo repeated, narrowing his eyes at Finn. “People go to prom with friends all the time.”

“Okay, yeah, fine. You don’t have to,” Finn agreed, giving a placating smile. Leo hated that it worked. If he were being honest, they should probably utilise the O’Hara smile in diplomatic relations. “But don’t you want to have the quintessential prom kiss?”

“Finn -”

“I was actually thinking I could borrow Leo,” Regulus rolled his eyes, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Apparently Finn didn't catch it though. His face contorted into a thousand different expressions in the space of a second. Conflicted. Contemplative. Accepting. “Well...I guess I’d be okay with it, if Leo is, but Lo-”

“That was a joke, Finn,” Regulus laughed.

“Oh, right,” Finn laughed as well, the tips of his cheeks tinged pink. “Well. Yeah. Prom kisses are nice. I had sex for the first time on my prom. Although, she did cheat on my two months later, so maybe I’m not the best example to follow,” he rambled.

“That was a lot to learn about somebody in a very short amount of time," Regulus commented, clutching his mug between his hands.

Finn shrugged, leaning forward to grab another brownie, seemingly uncaring about the wealth of information he had just offered.

***

“Hey, Le?”

Leo looked up from his phone, finding Regulus hovering next to him, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He cocked his head slightly in question.

“Can we talk?”

Leo frowned, setting his phone down on the coffee table and patted the seat next to him on the sofa. “You don’t usually ask,” he smirked.

Regulus’ smile back seemed strained, but Leo didn’t comment on it. “Earlier,” Regulus started as he took a seat, playing with the tips of his fingers before he stopped abruptly, placing them in his lap. “In the kitchen? What Finn said?”

Leo sighed gently, “Ignore him. Finn’s mouth and his feet are well acquainted. You know Finn. He just doesn't always think before he speaks. I’m sorry if he upset you.”

“You shouldn’t apologise for your boyfriend. If I wanted an apology I would have gone to him.” ” Regulus chided. His expression softened, his next intake of breath larger than usual. “Can you just listen?”

“Sorry,” Leo turned to look at Regulus properly. “You were saying?”

Regulus gave a small nod. “I don’t think I want that.”

Leo opened his mouth to speak, remembered Regulus’ request and snapped it shut again.

“Not the kisses. Not the sex. None of it. I think I’m asexual” The words came out in a single, hurried burst, but Regulus seemed to stumble over the last one, as if it was unfamiliar to him, unpractised. Leo could picture his friend frantically asking google questions, refining each search as he learned new information. He’d been there himself once.

A silence hung in the air, the two of them staring at one another, with an intensity that was making Leo feel uncomfortable, but he didn't want to be the first to break eye contact.

“Désolé," Regulus blinked. "Say something. Please."

Leo shuffled forward, his arms outstretched. “I’m going to hug you now.” He waited a beat to allow Regulus to protest, before pulling him close. Regulus sat stiffly, taking a moment to relax into the embrace and when he did, Leo squeezed him a little tighter. “Thank you for telling me.”

“I knew you’d be okay with it,” Regulus grumbled. Leo was sure he heard a hint of relief despite the attempt to appear ambivalent. He let Regulus go, putting some space between them again, knowing his friend had more personal space boundaries than Leo was used to dealing with.

“It’s still scary. Even if you’re almost certain it’s going to be alright. And just in case you need to hear it, I love you, you’re valid and even if you decide that’s not the right label for you that’s okay too.”

“What are you? Like, gay Yoda?” Regulus gave a small laugh, but he sniffed wetly. “Thanks.”

“A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defence, never for attack,” Leo made a fist, wrapped his other hand over the top and bowed his head.

“Nerd.”

“Wait, can I ask you a question?” Regulus’ consenting nod was slow and tentative. “Does this mean you’d prefer if I stop sending you half naked photos every other day?” Leo let the corner of his mouth curl into a smirk.

Regulus barked a very uncharacteristic laugh, deep and loud. “While I can appreciate the aesthetic appeal of Chris Evans, yes, I’ve seen enough of that man to last me many lifetimes .” He punched Leo lightly in the knee. Leo raised an eyebrow at the very frat - boy inspired action, and Regulus made a face that suggested he wasn’t quite sure where it had come from either. “I’m sure company is not an issue for you in this household, but don’t worry I’ll still watch The Avengers with you.”

“A real hero,” Leo drawled. “Hey.” He met Regulus’ eyes, his tone taking on a more serious note again. “You know you can tell Finn. And Logan, right? If that’s what you want. Whenever you’re ready. They’ll be cool.”

“Yeah,” Regulus breathed. “I don’t doubt it.”

“And if they’re not. I’ll personally kick them in the balls for you.”

***

Leo fussed with his bowtie in the mirror, tilting his head this way and that, trying to decide if it was straight.

“Stop. You look great. They’re going to die,” Regulus declared, making Leo jump slightly. He’d known the man was in the room, but his best friend had a habit of just appearing beside him unannounced.

Leo took another look in the mirror, running his fingers over the slightly raised texture of his initials monogrammed into the teal suspenders. “Yeah, I guess I’ll do,” he hummed, turning to face Regulus, scanning his eyes over him. Even Leo had been surprised by Regulus’ choice of attire, knowing now why he had kept the outfit such a secret. “Bold choice,” he remarked.

“Too much?”

“No,” Leo shook his head. Maybe it would have been on somebody else, but Regulus wore the mustard yellow three - piece effortlessly. He reached out to touch the blue sapphire that embellished the lapel, a gold chain linking it to the breast pocket. “Not at all. I’m just jealous.”

“Alright boys, are we ready?” Alex asked, clapping his hands together.

“Yeah.”

“As we’ll ever be.”

“Ready!” Kuny boomed, making a show of checking his pocket watch, the gold chain attaching it to his vest was somehow, even more ornate than Regulus’.

The four of them turned to glance at Remus, the only one in the room left to reply. Shrugging his jacket over his shoulders, Remus smiled. “I guess I can’t play with this tie any longer.”

“Alright then. I don’t know a lot about you guys, but I want to see my boyfriend,” Alex rocked on his feet, Leo chuckled, the man pretended he was so much more chill than his younger brother, but excitement seemed to bubble under his skin all the same. Leo didn’t blame Alex though, separating the partners into different rooms had seemed like a good idea earlier in the evening, but now he just wanted to see Finn and Logan, ideally before he exploded with anticipation. He couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for those of them that had to wait for their partners to arrive from the Potter’s house, where the ladies had opted to get ready.

“Yes. I want see Jackson,” Kuny nodded resolutely.

“Lord, help me,” Regulus whined. Leo just laughed, wrapping an arm around his friend’s shoulders.

***

“Cap! Stop undressing Loops with your eyes, he put a lot of effort into finding that suit.”

“Kuny. Put Nado down. There are people here.”

“Harzy. Are you crying?”

“You can close your mouth now, Leo.” Regulus tapped a finger lightly against Leo’s jaw. He would have tried to defend himself from the accusation, but he couldn’t deny the quiet clink of his teeth snapping back together.

“I’m just going to need a minute,” Leo mumbled, dragging his eyes over Finn and Logan’s bodies.

“Take your time,” Regulus chuckled. “Is-” Regulus leaned forward, squinting slightly. “Does Finn’s jacket match the invites.”

“I think they’re flowers.” Although, from afar, the swirls of blue and silver painted over the jacket did resemble the night sky artwork the two of them had settled on for the invites. Leo had insisted they needed them despite Regulus’ very valid point that saw all of the attendees at least once a week. “I’m going to go and check,” Leo waved a hand towards his boyfriends. He could see Logan’s lips moving, Finn’s grin widening with each word and Leo wanted in on that conversation.

“Sure,” Regulus hummed. “You go and do that.”

Leo stole a glance behind him as he crossed the short distance of their lounge, feeling a pang of guilt about leaving Regulus so easily on what was supposed to be his night. He needn't have worried though, he had barely taken a few paces before Regulus was swarmed by Thomas and James. Leo huffed a laugh at Regulus' disgruntled expression as they fawned at his suit.

***

“Leo. Regulus. Welcome! These must be your guests.” Estella, the only one of fifteen event planners that he and Regulus could agree on, smiled wide. “Is everybody here? I can always have somebody come and meet any stragglers?”

“No, this is all of us,” Leo confirmed. Corralling everybody into the two limos had been a task, but somehow they had all managed to make it to the museum without anybody being left behind.

“Alright then. Follow me. I think you’re going to love what we’ve settled on.” Estella turned on her heel, tight curls bouncing behind her as she led them up the grand staircase. Leo had been to The Natural History museum many times during the day, but the place had a strange sense of awe without the usual bustle of visitors, and he couldn’t wait to see what the events hall had been transformed into.

Estella pushed the ornate double doors open, blocking the entrance with her body. She must have noticed how Leo’s feet itched with anticipation because she gave a small smirk as she stepped aside. “Enjoy your evening, gentlemen. I’ll be around should you need anything."

Leo looked back at the group behind him; his team, his friends, his family, and felt the pool of anxiety that had been bubbling in his stomach all day, churn again. This evening had started off as being for Regulus, but it had quickly grown beyond that. While prom wasn’t inherently romantic, the traditions that came alongside it were embroiled with ideas that had marginalised so many of them, even if they hadn’t realised it at the time. A part of him hated that a high school event that was truly insignificant in the grand scheme of things could hold so much weight. He wanted to rebel, to not let it be important at all. Another just wanted to be able to give them all the night they had wished for back then.

“What’s the delay?” Natalie’s voice shook Leo from his head, and he glanced to his left at Regulus before moving into the room.

Estella and her team had really come through. They had weaved Leo and Regulus’ ideas on decoration into something spectacular. He had to force himself not to pause again, waiting until he was less of an obstruction to the rest of them, to stop and look up at the ceiling. There were hundreds, maybe thousands, of tiny lights strung to look exactly like the night sky. Right in the centre, Leo recognised the pattern to be that of his namesake, one light slightly brighter than all the rest.

“Hey,” Sirius clapped a hand on Regulus’s shoulder. “How come you get to be up there and I don’t.”

“Can’t stand not to be the centre of attention can you, big brother?” Regulus shot back and Sirius just shook his head with a laugh, hurrying after Remus.

***

“This one is for all you loved up folk out there,” the DJ’s voice rang through the room, the music slowly fading from a thuddy beat into the tender piano notes of the next song.

Leo winced as Marlene squealed, tugging Dorcas from her chair, the latter almost tripping over her train in the rush, although she regained her composure quickly. She moved just as swiftly in her heels as Marlene did in her black and white oxfords. He watched the two of them leave, Dorcas’ emerald green dress almost sparkling as it caught the light.

“Go on,” Regulus nudged Leo, tilting his head in the direction of where Finn and Logan had already procured a spot on the dance floor. “Go dance with your boys.”

Leo glanced at Regulus, before turning his gaze to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. He contorted his features into a series of faces that to anybody else probably seemed nonsensical, but they caught on perfectly, answering his silent question with simultaneous nods of their heads.

“Or,” Leo placed his hand, palm upright, on the table. “You could do me the honour?”

“I’m not,” Regulus wrinkled his nose. “You don’t need to -”

“Indulge me, Reggie.”

“Only if you stop calling me that,” Regulus sighed, grasping Leo’s hand. “I’m leading.”

Regulus, it turned out, could dance. Leo was passable. He let himself be led around the floor, laughing with his friend at all the couples that weren’t quite as accomplished, his boyfriend’s included.

The music flowed seamlessly from the deep tones of John Legend into the lighter ones of Taylor Swift.

“Yes! My girl, Tay Tay. Now we’re talking.”

Regulus rolled his eyes playfully, “Calm down, Le. I think your gay is showing.”

“Okay, Karen.”

“I am wounded,” Regulus clutched his hand to chest, placing it back on Leo’s hip without missing a beat. He looked up, smiling at Leo softly. “You should go and dance with them now. I think they could do with your help.”

“Non!” Logan argued, stumbling over Finn’s feet once again. “I know how to dance. It is Finn who is a liability,” he added, as they came to a halt beside Leo and Regulus.

***

Reg! Did you see Kam sent the link for the photos?

I did. You want to look at them together, non?

Oui, Oui! Come over now?

Leo waited to receive the confirmation text, before he hurried into the kitchen to compile a selection of snacks, as well as a jug of lemon water for Finn. On his final trip, he added the ever-present jug of sweet tea from the fridge to the tray, setting it all up on the table in front of the TV in the lounge.

“Baby Black is coming over then?” Logan teased, sprawling onto the sofa next to Leo.

“Sssh,” Leo whined, pressing a finger to Logan’s lips. “Otherwise no doughnuts for you.”

Logan gasped, launching himself at Leo, his hands finding the spot below Leo’s ribs where he was most ticklish. “How dare you threaten me with such things?”

“Stop it,” Leo spluttered between laughs, squirming away from the assault. Thankfully the doorbell rang just as Leo thought he was going to have to tap out, Logan letting him up to go and answer it.

It took a few minutes to get all four of them settled on the couch and the photos casting from his cell to the TV, but eventually they managed it.

Kam, and their assistant, had done a great job of capturing the entire night, from everybody getting ready to a very drunk James and Evgeni snoring softly against the giant moon structure. James was swamped by Evgeni’s checked suit jacket and James’ pinstripe one hung from Evgeni’s arm.

“Did you three plan this?” Regulus laughed as a photo of Sirius, Logan and Pascal appeared on the screen. The three of them had chosen to go with a classic tuxedo, albeit with slight variations.

“We did not. We just all have impeccable taste,” Logan retorted.

“Oh my God!” Finn sat forward, squinting at the screen. “They definitely planned that though.” He waved at the image of Alex and Kasey, their suits the same but in reverse; Alex’s jacket a navy blue with a checked grey vest and Kasey the opposite.

“Finn babe,” Leo frowned, sliding Finn’s glasses onto his face. “How did you go the entire night without noticing that. Aren’t you supposed to be the fashion connoisseur, here?”

“I was distracted!” Finn protested. “By…” he beamed as a photo of him, Leo and Logan replaced the previous image. “That.”

Regulus faked a gag, swiping at the phone to get a new photo. Any argument that was about to ensue was abruptly ended as they all burst into laughter. On the screen, a sheepish looking Pascal was being berated by Estella, her finger pointing to the sign to the left of the vine covered swing that Pascal was sitting on that read, ‘For decorative purposes only’.

They went through hundreds of photos. Some of them were sweet; Natalie with her arms wrapped around Regulus’s waist pressing a kiss to his cheek. Some of them were silly; everybody sat in rows on the dancefloor, their arms out to side. Some of them staged; Regulus and Leo sat on the big arm chairs beneath the origami stars. All of them captured tiny moments that none of them wanted to forget.

Leo tucked his head against Regulus' shoulder, trying to stifle his tears. He wasn't upset, not at all. It was just a lot. Seeing it all again. And then he remembered that all the decorations had been donated. Most of the woodland pieces, including the huge faux tree that had stood in the middle of one of the tables had gone to a local young theatre troupe that were struggling to finance their show, and the starry night pieces had gone to a group that were organising a Queer prom for the region's high schoolers that maybe didn't feel accepted at their own. For Leo, knowing that young kids like himself could take their prom photos with whomever they wanted, could truly decide whether they wanted to go with friends or their partners without fear, was the best part of all. Regulus wrapped his arm around Leo, pulling him closer.

"Thank you, I had the best prom ever."

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Late watch of the second episode....

Overall I didn’t hate it because like the other day, I liked that things were slowed down a bit more and people actually talked to each other. And not everyone was in their own separate little boxes. I have to praise the small things when I can with this show. Haha. 

The Dingles are obnoxious as hell though. I’m so over Zak and Sam. It really is a pity the pub couldn’t have blown them up. And everyone slagging Aaron off was infuriating. And of course, because Chas has no comprehension of why Aaron left, she can’t defend him. At least Vinny understood enough to explain it to Liv and we had a rare moment of clarity from Liv saying that Vinny didn’t need to be with her just to stop her drinking, which was really important. 

But really, I don’t blame Aaron for not wanting to come back to this lot or to Liv. He left, not only because he was afraid she was guilty, but because he can’t be the only person keeping her from drinking. When they were all going on about how selfish he is and how she’s gonna go straight to a bar, I was just like “why is it up to him to keep her sober?!” It’s not, and that’s the point, because that’s what their toxic relationship had devolved into. Sure it might be nice if he called her or something so they can both have a bit of closure, but I think him staying away is really best for both of them. Not to mention the fact that just because now he knows Liv didn’t kill Ben, doesn’t mean that Ben’s not dead. I mean we may have hated him but Aaron is still technically grieving. And the Dingle mob is not conducive to that and neither is an alcoholic little sister. So...good for Aaron. He’s not selfish to look after his own mental health or to make sure Liv isn’t dependent on him for her sobriety. So the Dingles can fuck off. 

I was a bit surprised at all of the kissing between Liv and Vinny. I mean it’s not like they were full on making out or anything, I just know the last time she kissed someone was Jacob and she seemed really unsure about that. When she said she didn’t expect to do that, I kind of expected a conversation about boundaries again but then they didn’t so I guess we’ll see. Not that ace people can’t kiss. It’s not like I haven’t kissed people. I just find it really boring most of the time but a quick peck is fine I guess. I’ve just never initiated that. 

As for the rest...

I do also wonder if all of this marriage stuff was supposed to be David and Vic. It would have made a lot more sense. But then I don’t know if Billy and Dawn would have happened at all and I’m glad they have because I didn’t like that they broke them up in the first place. Excited for Meena to return though. 

Definitely rolled my eyes at everyone just using the scrapyard to work out their anger issues. 

I swear Charles and Manpreet’s whole conversation was just Robron’s greatest hits in terms of dialogue. “I’ve already almost lost you once” “Just come home with me” “of course I’ll come home with you”. Haha. 

As for the Mack/Charity/Vanessa/Ryan mess...the eulogy was beautiful. Again I want to swap Wendy out for Irene. Do the soap gods bargain? Haha. I just don’t know what to make of this whole Mack and Charity thing. Because it’s clear that Vanity are getting back together. They were both very unconvincing when they said it was over. Charity saying Mack is her future just didn’t ring true at all. I just don’t know what they’re trying to show with this relationship either. You know, Alex may have been terminally boring but I feel like there was a clear story purpose for Aaron’s relationship with him. He needed that confidence boost, to know that someone else besides Robert would want him, that he could tell someone about his scars and not have them run away. He needed that choice to make, narratively, so that he knew he wanted Robert more than anyone. But with Charity, I don’t feel like they’ve put any kind of real purpose into her relationship with Mack. It just feels like biding time and that’s boring and I’d rather spare both of them and us. 

[echo-three-one]

Whatever It Takes

Previous Chapter : Alex - Resurgence

Alex is now assigned to the 141 with the task of defeating Nero. Meanwhile, the Scottish Solider, John "Soap" MacTavish is tasked to train the newest addition to the squad. Will he be able to prepare her for the rescue mission bound to happen soon? Why am I asking you questions? Are you really reading this bit of text?

Chapter 2 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

F.N.G.

John "Soap" MacTavish

Task Force 141

Task Force 141 Headquarters - Briefing Room

Nero. 

This was John's first official target after being moved to the 141. He was excited and terrified at the same time. He wanted to run another round at the Obstacle Course right after this brief. He wanted to be 100% fit for this job. He learned a lot at Verdansk and realized that he always had to be ready for the worst.

The briefing ended with Captain Price calling him over. John easily followed the British Captain as they huddled for a small discussion.

"Hey lad. Heard you're beating everyone's records in the training room." Price chuckled and tapped his shoulder, his thick moustache wiggled on his every word.

"Anything to get me in top shape, Sir." he humbly replied, grinning a little at the praise he gave him.

"I got a little task for you. See that girl over there?" he pointed toward a soldier in uniform by the chairs, her straight black hair fell as she took off her baseball hat.

"Aye. What about her." John questioned, his eyes focused on the subject hand.

"General Shepherd wants her in at the last minute. Just make sure she's ready for tomorrow." Price whispered as he quietly left and made his way toward the other members.

"Is she-" John leaned and realized Price already left. 

"Bloody Great." he muttered as he crossed his arms, Price already left. 

John joined the rest of the team involved in the Nero case as they walked a straight line across the hallway, each slowly dispersing to wherever they were needed to be, until such time that the only ones left were Gary or Roach, Alex, the CIA from Verdansk who lost his leg in a fight somewhere, and the new girl.

"Soap?" Gary called. The fellow ex-sergeant looked at him as if he wanted to ask a favor.

"Whatcha got there Roach?" Soap replied, his accent articulated each word quickly.

"I've got my hands full escorting Alex to his quarters. Do you mind sending France here to the training grounds? Price told me you were going that way, anyway." Gary asked politely, scratching the back of his head.

Soap nodded. He's going to help her train anyway, so that's two birds in one stone.

"Aye. I'll take care of her." Soap spoke quickly, nodding at the two as they make their way to their destination. 

"Cool guy huh, wonder what happened to his leg." France mused. Soap rolled his eyes toward her not tilting his head.

"Heard he had to manually detonate a chain of c4 charges. Everyone initially thought he died due to the explosion." Soap replied as he gestured her to follow him to the training area, whose entrance was at the far side of the building.

The walk was too quiet but Soap was sure she's following. Her footsteps echoed the halls right after his steps. He wasn't the best at meeting people but he tried his best to get comfortable, she's going to be a teammate after all.

"So, what's your deal here?" he spoke, his voice echoed across the empty halls.

"What?" she replied.

"You heard me." was all he said.

"Stealth tactics and close combat." She muttered. MacTavish raised his eyes and nodded in acknowledgement. 

"Hmm. We're going to be playing in an open field soon. What made Shepherd think you're up for this?" his question was out of sheer curiosity but the female soldier furrowed her brows and took it differently.

"Maybe he thinks I'm that good." she retorted, emphasizing the word 'that'. 

Soap stopped on his tracks and turned to her, 

at this angle she could only see his left eye, noting the scar that ran across his eyebrows down to his upper cheek.

"Then why are we heading to the training room? You could just take a rest or something. Relax that best condition of yours." he complained. France stared at her angrily, his overall attitude towards her was questionable, and she expected Gary's words were true, guess he lied or he was wrong.

"Formality." she said, her voice felt it was holding back emotion.

"Aye. Then let's go." John turned back and continued walking to the training area. His mind was silently tracking her steps is she's still following. He couldn't help but sigh at the attitude he showed earlier, but what can he say? He wasn't good at people and it's something he wished to improve on here at the 141.

~

"Switching to your sidearm is faster than reloading." he muttered over France who was halfway through the course. He couldn't see it but he felt her roll her eyes as if saying, "I know that already." as she coursed through the area, shooting enemies and evading civilians. When she said she was great at stealth and close combat, she wasn't lying. Soap noticed how she smoothly maneuvered through the area, she knew which walls to hug, which enemies needed to be killed first to allow space and which spots would be the weakest and easiest to breach through. Soap was utterly impressed by her skills and now realized why Shepherd insisted on adding her last minute. This lass got some skill.

"1 minute and forty three seconds. Pretty good for your first." Soap mused noting her time.

"Let's-"

"Wait." she panted, catching her breath and looked at the board.

"I wanna go again." she exhaled. Soap turned his head in confusion.

"Okay. Then ready up." he casually instructed her as she made her way back to the start of the course.

"I'm never leaving this place until I get to that top spot." she waved and jogged to the start of the course. MacTavish chuckled.

"You could try." he boasted, but she was far enough for her to hear him. And that was what he intended.

Second try. Soap noticed a sudden spike in her efforts clearing the first area in as early as twenty seconds. Soap actually felt nervous, he wasn't rooting for her to beat him but at the same time he wanted her to… A little competition wouldn't hurt. He thought to himself

"Stop." she panted.

"Forty-five." He muttered, trying not to sound impressed.

"Another one." she panted.

"You sure? Don't over exert yourself." he replied.

"Just give me water." France demanded, lowering her rifle on the desk. Soap turned to her and nodded.

"Fine. It's over there. I'll bring you there." 

"Great." 

"What did you do to get that record? I tried it twice and I can't find a quicker route without taking a lot of time." she asked as she placed the cup on the desk.

"I could show you, because I can't put it into words." he muttered. France always found his words boastful, maybe because she didn't really like this guy's general attitude or maybe she expected a different John.

"Yeah? The master shows me a live demo?" she mused jokingly. She wanted to get into his nerves, if he's going to behave that way towards her then she isn't backing out without a fight.

"More like, the master teaches you how to ace this course. There's a pen and paper over there if you want to take notes." he winked and ran to the course. France crossed her arms and watched the Scottish soldier take the course. It was impressive, he was quick on his feet and accurate on his shots, never wasting a single second to think what's next. He finished the first part in under 10 seconds, France's jaw wanted to drop but she forced herself not to. She still had a lot of time to beat that record, and she isn't going to stop until she made it to the top.

Thirty-four seconds was all he took to finish the course. He didn't huff or show signs of exhaustion, France only noticed a faster rise and fall of his chest. 

"So, how did I go?" Soap placed his rifle on the table in front of her.

"It was good. You're actually fast. If you give me enough time, I'll beat you and rise on the top of that list." she said proudly.

You got yourself a deal." he chuckled, leaving his hand open for a handshake, a sign of promise. She smiled sarcastically and walked out of the training area, something Soap never expected from her. 

"Finally, some good competition within the base." he muttered as he picked up the rifles, unloaded them and placed them back on the armory. They didn't finish the whole training course protocol, but it's a simple thing to lie about to Price when he asks for it soon.

It was lunchtime when John finally spotted his new found rival. She sat on the usually empty table, which was now occupied by her and Alex, 141's FNGs. A Fucking New Guy and A Fucking New Gal. He lifted his tray and went straight to their table. Gary stopped his funny raccoon story and watched his fellow comrade leave their table and move to the new ones. Ghost didn't mind the move, he didn't mind anyone's affairs anyway. He just sat there and continued chewing on his food while listening to Gary's hometown shenanigans.

"Hey Alex. Do you mind if I sit here?" Soap smiled and asked the former CIA. Alex nodded in agreement and tapped his shoulder. It was a long time since they once saw each other and Alex noted the changes he had been through.

"Whoa MacTavish, impressive gains you had there. Almost didn't recognize you." Alex greeted. MacTavish sat down and placed his tray containing a single red apple.

"Verdansk taught me that I needed to be better." he muttered eyeing at the new gal who wasn't even looking at them.

"You're looking pretty fine yourself!" Soap laughed at Alex's new tan, something he wasn't aware he had.

"Yeah. This is what happens when you miss the beach so much." he scratched his head, laughing.

"So… Nero. I heard you already acquainted yourself to him." Soap informed, Alex turned to him.

"Not directly, but my previous case was about him."

"What's his deal? Intel says it's not classified as terror activity yet. Why are we after him?"

"He's got large connections to the CIA with a serum capable of deleting, altering and extracting memories. Multiple people are already reported missing and reappearing in a trance state and they think it's in preparation for a global threat." France accidentally scraped her fork causing the two to turn to her. What they saw was France, looking down on her plate, tears slowly falling, her hands gripped the utensils tightly ready to be used as weapons.

"You okay, lass?" Soap finally broke the silence.

"Ttthey.. " she sobbed, her sentence was cut off as she started to catch up with her breathing.

"There there…" Alex immediately rushed to her side to console her. Soap tried to reach out to her hand but she quickly retreated it to her pockets.

"They took my sister… and they're going to pay." she spoke softly, continuing her tears. It must be rough to have someone you hold dear get taken away. Soap thought.

"I lost someone too…" Alex whispered, France leaned on him and released her emotions. She found someone she could relate to. Soap realized that Alex may have lied just to console her, making him the second person who's willing to lie for her sake. 

In the middle of all the chaos of the 141 cafeteria, the PA system alarmed the people involved on the Nero case to immediately report to the briefing room.

"Looks like the informants found something." Alex stated.

Chapter 3 : Run Through the Jungle

[sunsetcurbed]

you showed me faith is not blind (miracles happen)

Pairing: Alex/Willie  Words: 5,369  Rating: T  Chapter Warnings: none  read on AO3 

Chapter Summary:  "What the fuck?" Luke murmurs across the table from Alex, just loud enough to grab Alex's attention from worksheet. "What the fuck?" he says again—much, much louder. His head snaps up and his eyes, burning, land on Alex.

Alex flinches back. "Dude, what?"

Julie is leaning into Luke's space, reading whatever is on his phone that's made Luke so upset. The rest of the table is silent, even Greg and Shawn. Alex is just… waiting, at this point, really, but Luke seems too angry for words.

(*) 

Their movie night starts off as normal with the group in the kitchen making their snacks. Alex has no reason to suspect that anything will go differently than his past experiences. So when things do... change, he's thrown off.

In Julie's living room, there's a couch, a love seat, and a recliner. Luke and Julie always share the love seat and Flynn claims the recliner. That leaves Alex, Willie, and Reggie to figure out who gets the two armrest seats of the couch and whether the other wants to take the middle cushion or just lounge on the floor. They… don't have that issue today.

Reggie is the first one inside from band practice so he is the first one done making his popcorn so he gets first claim. When Alex and Willie make it out, Willie gestures for Alex to take the other, and quirks an eyebrow at him. "I'll figure something out," he says. Alex eyes him warily but takes the seat anyways, grateful for a place to set his water down. Willie stands there for a moment, staring between Alex and the middle cushion. He sets his popcorn next to Alex's feet, then sits on the middle cushion with his back facing Alex, and reclines himself back so he's lying across Alex's lap. He grins up at him. "Told you I'd figure it out."

Alex quite literally has no idea what to do or say. What comes out is: "I'm going to drop so much popcorn on you."

"Cool. More for me."

He's thankful for his friends, because over the next hour, every single one of them sends him a look when Willie's attention is elsewhere, which lets him know that he's not just being dramatic. This… this is new and this is—

Alex doesn't want to call it weird.

He's actually quite enjoying it, once the initial awkwardness has faded away. He likes the weight of Willie in his lap. It's grounding. And Alex has an arm across Willie's abdomen, and Willie is absentmindedly playing with Alex's hand that's resting on Willie's side, and Alex likes the feel of Willie's fingers on his. Still, it's all overwhelming, but Alex finally has his proof that he needed to refute Willie: he's wide awake and doesn't fall asleep at all through the second movie, which Willie teases him about from his lap.

He spends the rest of movie night trying not to wonder what this could possibly mean because he knows the most likely answer is that it doesn't mean anything.

Days blur together for Alex after that—he doesn't have an off day (he doesn't have an off hour). Honestly, he likes that. He likes the constant going, the constant moving, the constant action in his brain. It keeps him from lingering on one thing for too long, from letting one thing manifest and grow into something beyond itself and gnaw away at Alex until he's a shell of himself.

He has his prince lessons, therapy twice a week—which his grandmother had offered to bring to the consulate after he had a panic attack in front of her on Sunday—, school, band practice, his new Friday "date" with Willie after prince lessons, and then on Saturday the 13th, Julie and the Phantoms play Camelot, a wildly popular nightclub that they'd worked their entire high school career to book. They're excited about it, and Alex is even more excited about it because his grandmother has actually booked the VIP suite, which, as Alex had expected, hadn't been reserved. She invites Alex's parents to come as well, so they hire a baby sitter for Ava and Austin and make a night of it, and Alex plays his heart out (not that he usually doesn't, but this feels special). The next day, at his shortened Sunday prince lesson, he catches his grandmother humming along to Finally Free a few times, though he doesn't point it out. He doesn't need to bring attention to it. Just… knowing is enough.

Somehow it's already Monday the 15th, two weeks into his prince lessons. He is getting more used to the routine now. He still does his homework at lunch, but he doesn't focus quite as hard, as he has learned that he has enough time left at the end of each day to do it. Still, sometimes it is nice to watch Netflix instead of doing homework. That's his hope for tonight as he sits at their lunch table, bent over his math homework. Reggie and Flynn are lost in conversation and Willie is talking about some skating competition with Greg and Shawn, while Julie and Luke are on his phone.

"What the fuck?" Luke murmurs across the table from Alex, just loud enough to grab Alex's attention from worksheet. "What the fuck?" he says again—much, much louder. His head snaps up and his eyes, burning, land on Alex.

Alex flinches back. "Dude, what?"

Julie is leaning into Luke's space, reading whatever is on his phone that's made Luke so upset. The rest of the table is silent, even Greg and Shawn. Alex is just… waiting, at this point, really, but Luke seems too angry for words. Alex can see him literally shaking. So instead he turns to Julie to gauge what to expect from Luke based off of her reaction. The way her eyebrows are halfway up her forehead and her lips are parted, he guesses it is something big. And then her eyes flick to him. "Alex," she starts, but Luke cuts her off.

"So, what," Luke hisses leaning over the table, dropping his phone like he's completely forgotten it. "You were going to drag us along for as long as you could and then drop us at the last minute to go live in some castle in a country you didn't even know the name of a month ago?"

"Luke," Julie whispers, grabbing at his chest to pull him back.

"Thought maybe you'd get one last hurrah, but oh, no, don't even bother to mention it to us," he spits, spinning in his seat fluidly, standing up, and storming out of the cafeteria. Julie sends Alex and apologetic look and then chases after Luke. Flynn sighs and gets up from the table, chasing after her best friend.

Reggie is staring, wide eyed, shell shocked. "Uh… what?"

"I… don't know," he says even though he has a guess. But he's not sure how Luke would know or how his phone would factor in. Alex reaches for the phone that Luke had left abandoned and freezes. One of his instagram pictures is on the screen, but it's not on instagram, it's on a news site. Beneath it, there are several blocks of text.

Prince Alexander of Beasiga, 16, is a student at performing arts high school Los Feliz High School in the Los Feliz District of Los Angeles, California. The prince is in a popular pop-rock bank with three other members (Julie Molina, Luke Patterson, Reggie Peters). The band is called Julie and the Phantoms and they were last seen playing at the popular nightclub Camelot, November 13 th  where sources confirmed his identity. The prince is the band's drummer and a back up vocalist.

Alexander has been on the honor roll at his high school multiple times throughout his schooling career and is in the highly renowned music program at Los Feliz High School. He is close with a small group of friends who mostly keep to themselves. According to all sources the prince is currently unattached romantically and has never been linked to anyone, not even close friend Julie Molina.

Sources say that Prince Alexander will be presented at Beasiga's annual Independence Day Ball on December 21 st , accepting his role as future ruler of the small but mighty country.

Alex drops the phone to the table after that, completely uninterested in anything else that it has to say. He doesn't need to read a news article to know about his life. He is living it. Except he certainly isn't planning on accepting his role as future ruler of Beasiga on December 21st.

On either side of him, Willie and Reggie lean in to look at the phone. Willie's hand immediately comes up to his shoulder and squeezes while on his other side, Reggie snorts.

"Dude, what?" he laughs. "Is this news article calling you a prince?"

Alex looks at Reggie. He feels his knee start bouncing under the table, and Willie must too, because his hand goes from Alex's shoulder to Alex's knee. "Uh… yeah. It is." he says. He takes in a deep breath when Reggie laughs harder and lets it out. "Reg. It's right. I—I am."

"Oh, sure," Reggie laughs, elbowing Alex in the side. When he looks over to Alex and sees his face though, Reggie pauses. Slowly, the longer he looks at Alex, the more the smile on his face fades. After a minute it's nearly gone. "Dude, seriously?"

Alex swallows. "Yeah, Reg." He reaches for the phone and holds it up shaking his head. "But—but this isn't—I didn't—I've made no decision. Well, yeah, I have—I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna be a prince. Two weeks ago I almost passed out during my public speaking midterm. Do you really think I'm planning to throw away the band to be a public figure for the rest of my life? Do you think that'd go well for any of us?"

"Of course not," Reggie says, seemingly offended that Alex thinks Reggie could share Luke's thoughts. "You love our band. I know that. Besides, even if you were going to move and become prince, we'd find a way to make it work."

Alex stares at Reggie for a long moment, and then feels a small smile form. "Thanks, Reg."

Reggie shakes his head. "That's not something you thank me for, man. That's just how we work. We're a band. That doesn't stop just because you're royalty now."

"You're taking this surprisingly well," Willie says from Alex's other side. "I knew Luke was gonna freak—didn't realize how much—, I said Julie's gonna try and find a way to fix it in her own way—probably offer to talk with his grandma—, and I guessed Flynn was gonna reference Prince Charming, William, and Harry all within twenty-four hours of finding out, so there's still... twenty four hours left for that. But I really wasn't sure for you. And yet I'm still surprised. Huh."

"I don't really know how you're supposed to react when you find out your best friend is a prince, to be fair," Reggie points out. Alex and Willie both laugh. Reggie narrows his eyes. "Wait. You knew?"

Willie grins. "Oh, yeah. From day one."

"We've been best friends since kindergarten, Alexander!" Reggie gasps, dramatic and exaggerated, in a way that lets Alex know he's not really upset.

"Yeah, well," Willie leans into Alex's space and rests his chin on Alex's shoulder. "What we have is stronger."

Alex feels his heart pick up into overdrive and his face heat up, all while Reggie raises his hands in surrender. "Whoa, okay, I know where I'm not wanted."

"Who said we didn't want you?" Willie asks in a deep voice.

"Okay!" Alex yelps, shifting so Willie's chin falls off of Alex's shoulder. Willie starts giggling, and Reggie falls into laughter, and Alex just feels like he's about to combust. He stares at the table while the two of them get this out of their systems, which leads to staring at Luke's phone, which leads to thinking about the article, which leads to—"Oh, my god."

"What?" Willie and Reggie ask at the same time, both still laughing.

"The news published a story about me."

"Uh, yeah, we were just reading it," Reggie laughs a little more, but Alex notices Willie go silent next to him.

"Yeah, I know, Reg," Alex says. "But—this is supposed to be a secret, at least from the public. I admit I didn't tell you guys for reasons that don't matter anymore, but—they're not supposed to know I exist yet."

"Oh," Reggie says, slipping from laughter to serious just like that. A lot can be said about Reggie not taking life in general seriously, but a lot can also be said when it comes to him taking the lives of his friend's seriously. "That's not good."

"No, it's not."

"When was it published?" Willie asks.

Alex picks up Luke's phone and unlocks it—eleven years of being his best friend having earned Alex that privilege—and looks at the publication time. "An hour and a half ago. Why?"

"Hey, Alex?"

Alex turns in his seat to find Flynn standing behind him. "Yeah?"

"Principal Lessa wants you in her office."

"What?" he frowns. "Why?"

"Your… grandma? is coming. There's a lot of news stations outside the school waiting to talk to you," Flynn explains.

Willie sighs. "That's why."

"Fuck," Alex says. He twists in his seat to get up, but Willie's hand on his arm stops him. He looks at Willie.

"Hey. See if you can get out of lessons today. I think you deserve it. If you can, text me and I'll wait for you after school, we'll go do something that will get your mind off this shit, okay?"

Alex feels so overwhelmed with relief and love and joy—with Reggie's reaction, with Willie's care, with their friendship. He nods at Willie, and then stands up and collects his things. He leaves Flynn with Reggie and Willie and makes his way to Principal Lessa's office, which is on the other side of the building. To get there, he has to pass through the front wing, and through the front doors he can see multiple news vans parked in the normal student pick up lane. He groans to himself and carries on faster to the front office.

His grandmother and John make it to Principal Lessa's office within five minutes of him, and they quickly get down to business. They discovered that it was a leak from one of the college interns at the consulate—that she was at the Julie and the Phantoms show at Camelot and was talking about Prince Alex once she recognized him on stage. Unfortunately, one of those people she had spoken to had been a journalism student with a job at a local paper that had looked into the story, which—likely to the student's surprise—had actually checked out.

Through all of this Alex is surprised that he keeps his fragile composure, even though he can feel his heart pounding in his chest. It's just… the news breaking means eyes on him. And, well. He has to admit now that Julie was right, at least partially. He might still suck at giving speeches (but also probably not because he got an A on his speech when it was one on one with only him and Mr. Kullins) but really, the truth is he can't have people looking at him because he's scared of what they'll see. He's scared he'll let them down. He's scared they'll notice everything wrong with him. Fuck, he's scared they'll be able to know what he's thinking, just by looking at him. Half the time, he wishes he didn't have to listen to his own thoughts, so even just the thought of other people knowing what he's thinking…

So, yeah. No surprise, Julie was right. She usually is, even if Alex likes to pretend that she's not at first. She knows it too, so at least he doesn't have to admit it to her.

It's been just about an hour since they all gathered when the bell rings to signal the end of what would have been Alex's public speaking class. His grandmother looks at Alex and clasps her hands together. "Well. Shall we see if police have escorted them away and get you out of here? We can get an early start on the 1800s history."

"I was actually gonna talk to you about that," Alex murmurs. "Uh—my friend wants to know—you know with. With my anxiety this has been a lot. So he suggested maybe skipping lessons today?"

Her face softens. "Oh, why Alexander, of course. I don't know why I didn't think of that. I'll call your driver and have him take you straight home."

"Oh," Alex frowns, "well, he actually—we actually thought we might. Just hang out a bit? Get my mind off of today? So he was going to drive me."

There's a long pause. "All right," she says. "As long as you don't go out anywhere too public, at least today, not without any security. Please, Alexander, for my peace of mind?"

"Oh, no, totally," he agrees. "We're probably just going to get tea and maybe get food. Sit in his car and talk about how this sucks."

His grandmother simultaneously pulls a face and laughs, and that's how he knows that he's growing on her, improper language and all. "All right then. I hope your afternoon with your friend helps," she says sincerely. She stands and turns to Principal Lessa. "Thank you greatly for allowing us to visit your school and use your office today."

Principal Lessa shakes her head. "It is not a problem. I am just sorry this happened. Please know that we will do everything we can to ensure that he is as safe as can be."

His grandmother smiles at her and then walks out of the office, followed closely by John. Alex is left sitting alone with his principal which—awkward. She gives him the choice of going back to class or hanging out in the front office for the last period of the day. Since his last class of the day is biology—which first, he enjoys and second, means he could potentially be missing something important—he opts to go back to class, but not before sending off a quick text to Willie, promising to meet him at the end of K wing after class.

Biology goes by quick and it's clear that no one in his class has seen the news yet, because not a single eye turns to him the entire class, aside from his late entrance. He can't say the same for the rest of the school, as he can feel a few eyes on him as he makes his way through the halls after class has ended. It's not the majority, not even close, but it's enough to be noticeable, enough to make Alex's skin crawl, heat creep up his throat, and spots dance in his vision. He tries his best to ignore them, but it's hard, especially when he hears his name a few times.

K wing is a reprieve. It's the least crowded wing in the entire school, and even though it leads to the student parking lot, since people who drive themselves don't have to rush, the flow of students leaving is slow and not all at once. Alex is grateful for the lack of stares, and pulls out his phone as he waits for Willie. Swiping through his phone, the typical list of suggested articles pop up and he freezes when he sees when he's not in not only one but three of them. So, people in his biology class may not have known today, but they definitely will tomorrow, along with everyone else in all of his other classes, and everyone else that he passes in the halls. Alex felt sick dealing with the few stares he got today, how in the hell is he going to manage the entire school looking at him tomorrow?

Or, maybe he's just being really self-absorbed. Maybe they won't care. They might see it, read it, think 'oh, ha, what a nerd,' and write it off. They'll pass him and won't look at him because why would they care that he's a prince? It's not like they live in Beasiga. It's not like him being Prince of Beasiga impacts them in any way. So, yeah. Self-absorbed.

"Hey, hot dog."

Alex clicks his phone off and pushes it in his pocket, pushes his thoughts away. "Willie. Hey."

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

Alex figures that this is going to be like their Fridays, where Willie picks him up and sort of just—wings it as he goes, but as soon as he gets in the car he has a purpose. He drives them to Alex's favorite tea shop and, before Alex can even begin speaking to the cashier, asks for the order to go. When their tea is ready they start driving again, a fifteen-minute drive until they're at one of the hiking trails just outside of Los Feliz. Alex supposes it's just to give them something to do, or to keep them away from other people, he's not sure why Willie chose this, but he doesn't think Willie factored in the tea to the hike. The tea is hot in his hands while they walk so he has to keep passing it back and forth between them.

"See, with invisibility you could skate wherever you wanted within reasonable distance, but with teleportation you could skate in a lot more places legally by just popping away," Willie explains, answering Alex's question about his reasoning for his choice of super powers. "So like, it'd have to be one of those two for me, I'm just… I don't know which one."

"I feel like you'd get more added benefits beyond the skating perks with teleportation," Alex says. "Go on vacation whenever, break in places, no rush hour traf—"

"I'm sold. No rush hour? Down."

Alex watches Willie make an exaggerated motion with his hands and then kicks at the trail dirt. He smiles and turns away.

"What about you then?" Willie asks. "What's your super power?"

"I don't know," Alex admits. "Is there a super power where you just… don't get anxious?" Next to him, Willie laughs. "No, I… I'm not sure. Indestructibility might be nice. I… I, like, wanna die of old age. Not in a car crash or some freak accident."

"Nice. Fits with your brand."

"What brand?"

"Anxiety."

They keep talking—they talk most of the time, about weird encounters they've had in Downtown LA, about whether or not ghosts are real, but never about the news article—sorry, articles. And when it's silent it's nice, too. And then sometime later—he's not sure how much later because he hasn't looked at his phone once, but their teas are gone and thrown away in trailside garbage cans—they make it to a peak. They take a seat in the dirt right off the trail and in the distance he can see Downtown LA. Alex's legs are stretched out in front of him and he leans back on his hands, and Willie sits next to him, cross-legged. They're close enough that Willie's knee is pressing into Alex's thigh and Alex is trying not to think about that, because he still can't make sense of what has changed the past couple of weeks, of how it's changed and why it's changed—of the touches of the hand holding of the dates of the—this was actually my parents first date, too—of the too.

"So what'd your grandma and, uh, her people say about all of this today?" Willie asks after a few minutes, finally broaching the subject.

Alex shrugs. "They weren't happy, obviously. It was, uh. An intern from the consulate who did it. I feel bad, but it's just… I mean… it was just… everyone knew that the press wasn't meant to know, right? They had a briefing over that. And I don't know if she wasn't there for it or wasn't paying attention or if she just didn't care… But, yeah, a journalism student got her first published article in LA Times because of it, at least." Willie's eyebrows shoot up, mirroring Alex's exact initial reaction. "But, um. Grandma's really mainly concerned about my safety, you know? Lessa had to go over our school's security with her a few times for her to feel secure, and John asked to have someone from his security team in the front office for anyone who visits throughout the day so they can vet them, which Lessa agreed to, but… I don't know. It feels over the top, but… you didn't get to see it, but there were so many news vans outside the school today, man. It was wild. So maybe it's not over the top. It's—just. Man, this is just like the prince thing all over again. It feels like a joke, or like a dream, you know?"

"Yeah," Willie says, nudging Alex's shoulder with his. "How's your anxiety dealing with it?"

"Honestly? Not that great," he admits. "Julie made me realize that it's not so much public speaking I'm bad at as it is people… noticing me. And now? So many people are going to notice me and I don't know how to handle that. I've always been anxious, and then I became a prince. Which did not calm me down. Now, to add to that, the world now knows I'm a prince. What do you think that's going to do for my anxiety?"

"Huh," Willie huffs. He looks over at Alex, tongue poking in his lower lip. His eyes drift from Alex out to looking at downtown LA, and then his entire demeanor changes. "I bet I know something that will help," he says, and in one quick motion hops to his feet. Alex watches him from where he's still sat in the dirt. Willie stares down at him with a maniacal grin on his face. "Yelling. on. a mountain." And then he throws his head back and screams.

Alex drops his jaw, whipping his head around. "Willie!" he gasps, reaching over and grabbing at the other boy's leg. "Willie—shh!" Willie stops, laughing, and looks back down at Alex. Alex stares up at him. "We're okay! Everything's okay!" Alex calls out as loud as he can.

"C'mon, man!" Willie encourages. "Ah!" he screams, much shorter than his first go. He nudges Alex with his foot.

Alex huffs. "Ahhhh," he breathes, sounding more like he's sinking into a hot bath than he is dropping off the top of a roller coaster.

Willie laughs, loud and open, and reaches down to grab the front of Alex's hoodie. "No, dude. You're doing this. Come on. Stand up. Spread your feet, brace yourself, take a deep breath. Ready?" Alex does everything Willie says and then bites his lip, hard. He can already feel the scream welling up inside him, ready to burst out. So when Willie screams at him, Alex screams back, and feels a pressure release somewhere deep inside him. When he cuts off, he already wants to do it again, so he does, and for much longer this time—this time, he screams until his lungs are screaming in their own way for air, and Willie screams right along with him. Tension that Alex didn't even know he had snaps and he feels like some lock inside of him has been broken. He's breathing hard and feels himself beaming at Willie, who has grabbed on to him at some point and is still holding him in his grip. Alex, in his current state of mind, really doesn't want Willie to let him go. And yet, Willie flashes his eyebrows and takes a step back, dropping Alex's shoulders in the process.

"Feels good, right?"

Alex grins. "Yeah. It does." And then. "Oh, my god." He looks around them again and yells, "we're okay! Everyone's fine!" In a normal voice he says, "there's going to be a news article later tonight about the search for two hikers who were screaming for help, isn't there? Because that's how my life is going."

Willie tosses his head back and laughs, and falls back to the ground. Alex joins him a second later, hesitating only because he's not sure if he should sit as close as they were initially sitting or not. He settles on a middle ground—sitting close enough that Willie could brush against him, but that he wasn't pressed against him. When he's settled back into the dirt, Willie starts the conversation back up. "I am excited to see what rumors might pop up about you though," he says with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Alex has a sudden thought. "What if they find out I'm gay?" Oh, god.

Willie frowns. "I thought you were only out to us?"

"I mean, technically, but there have been rumors at our school for—for how long now?" Years. There have been rumors for years. And all it took was one person like that intern talking to the wrong person and passing that rumor along and then Alex will have to—have to ask Flynn to pretend to date him or something and—no, god, no he can't do that, to himself or to her. "And like you just said, rumors are all the news need—and I don't—I don't want to have to deal with a fake girlfriend to get those rumors to go away, or, or—"

"Alex," Willie coos, gripping Alex's bicep tightly in his hand. "Alex, calm down. It'll all be okay. You won't have to. Okay?"

"But my parents," he says, realizing. Oh, god. It's not just the public he has to worry about. "My grandma—they don't, she doesn't—she doesn't know."

"That's okay," Willie says.

"She should know though. I'm just—I'm not… brave enough…" …but he can be.

He just screamed at the top of a mountain for the hell of it. It's not a very tall mountain, it's really much more of a hill, but that takes away from his point.

"Alex, what, of course you—"

"Willie?" Oh god. Whatever that lock that broke inside of him was, it was really, truly broke. And there was no going back.

"Huh?"

He closes his eyes. Okay. He's doing this. This is a thing he's going to do. He's going to be brave. He's going to do this, and then he'll be brave enough to tell his grandmother, right? If he can do this he can do anything. He's going to do it. He is. Just in—3, 2, "I like you," he blurts out, and… it's out there. He did it. Some pressure in his shoulders releases but—but that's not all he has to say. "And like, before you say something dumb like 'I like you too, dude.' I just. I mean in the way that's probably closer to the way that means 'I'm in love with you' than anything else. So like. Maybe not I like you. Maybe I love you. I don't know. I'm not sure how that's supposed to feel but I've felt it for a long time, specifically towards you, and it's never gone away, and it's only gotten stronger, so maybe that's love, but maybe I just have a really big crush on you? I don't—"

He's cut off by—

Huh.

He's cut off by Willie kissing him.

Without hesitation, he kisses back, hands automatically reaching up to hold Willie's face, his thumbs tracing over Willie's cheekbones as their lips move against each other. Willie's knee presses way too hard into Alex's thigh, probably hard enough to leave a bruise, and Alex can feel Willie jostling back and forth, can feel his hand sliding along the dirt as he shifts his hand to change his position. It's a little awkward, but it's—

It's good.

Willie pulls back far too soon, but Alex can feel the grin spreading on Willie's lips against his, before they even part. Willie doesn't lean all the way back. He pushes their foreheads together and bumps their noses together. "Maybe I just have a really big crush on you, too," he says.

"Oh."

Willie laughs, and sits back then. "Alex?"

"Huh?"

"You know that means I love you too, right?"

"Oh. No."

"Alex?"

"Huh?"

"I love you too."

[gendercraft]

When I Fell Overboard [Chapter Seven: Don’t Get Your Hopes Up, Sebastian]

Read on ao3

Synopsis: Sebastian struggles with his relationship with Maru as she strives to get close to him. Meanwhile, he and Elliott get closer and closer.

Trigger warnings: Panic attacks, fighting, snapping, potentially unsympathetic Robin, crying, food mention, let me know if I missed anything please

“No way! The rumours are true?!”

    Sebastian rolled his eyes as he and Elliott ducked into Sam’s room. Abigail sat up in the bed, boots pressed into the covers and phone in her hand. She furrowed her eyebrows. 

    “Elliott?” 

    “Hello, Abigail. Sam. Just dropping Sebastian off.” 

    “Since when do you hang out?” Abigail stood and set her phone on the bookshelf, grabbing her drumsticks. 

    Sebastian shrugged. “About a month ago. I’ll see you later, El. Thanks for walking me or whatever.” 

    Elliott laughed as he was practically shoved out of the room. He waved and left. 

    “Alright, progress?” Sam held his hand out. 

    “Seriously, are the rumours true?” Abigail asked. “Are you dating Elliott?” 

    “Dating?” Sebastian spluttered. “N- no! Jesus.” 

    “Cool, Seb’s not dating Elliott. Songs?” 

    “Hold on, Sam, he’s blown us off for a month, I haven’t forgiven him yet.”

    “Well, I have.” 

    “Sam.” 

    He sighed and plopped on the bed. “Alright, alright.” 

    Sebastian slid into his spot behind the keyboard and busied himself with finding his sheet music. “We’re not… dating. We’ve just been hanging out. I’m sorry I haven’t been answering the group chat.” 

    Abigail narrowed her eyes as she stared at him. “You haven’t missed Fridays, so I’ll let you off easy. Are you into Elliott?” 

    Letting me off easy. Funny. “No,” he said dryly. Liar. You just lied. Why did you lie? 

    “Okay, so Sebastian’s not gay. Songs?” 

    “Yeah, I’ve got a few.” 

    Abigail blinked. “A few? Since when do you come with less than a half?”    

    He shrugged. “I had a good week. Ready to hear ‘em or not?” 

    They spent the next few hours going through Sebastian’s songs and, surprisingly, Sam and Abigail accepted them in almost their entirety. With just a few tweaks, they had enough songs to finish the set they’d been working on for ages. 

    “Goddamn, Sebastian,” Abigail said. “Good fucking job.” 

    He blushed and played a few notes on his keyboard. “Thanks. They’re not as good here as they’d be on a piano—”

    “We know, you’ve said.” Sam rolled his eyes and looked at Abigail, who nodded with a laugh. 

    Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “What?” 

    “Nothing.” Abigail held her hands up. “Nothing. You just haven’t played piano since middle school.” 

    “I haven’t wanted to,” Sebastian said. 

    Sam set his guitar back in its stand. “We know. We’re just wondering what the sudden change of heart is. As far as I know, Elliott’s the only one with a piano in Pelican Town.” 

    “And?” Sebastian asked harshly. 

    They laughed. 

    “Are we ready to go or not?” It just occurred to him that he had invited Elliott to hang out with them, and he bit his lip. He couldn’t well break it to them then, that’d be way too suspicious. 

    Why do I care so much? 

    It wasn’t because he was probably-definitely gay. They didn’t care about that and after the initial shock had worn off, neither did he. But there was something lingering in the back of his head, something that promised he’d regret it if he told them anything. 

    You have no idea where this is going to go. You could be completely wrong. 

    Don’t get your hopes up, Sebastian. 

    They made their way towards the beach. Sebastian stopped at the saloon to catch Gus before he left, ordering a shot. He downed it and turned. They stared at him with raised eyebrows. 

    “I can’t have a drink?” He asked. 

    Abigail raised her hand and headed over to the bridge. She hopped up on the rail and threw her arms up for balance as she tightroped it. Sam followed, ready to catch her even though she never fell. Sebastian flicked his hood up and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

    “You’re shaking, Seb,” Sam said after a minute, and Sebastian cursed himself. 

    “I’m fine,” he mumbled, and then, even though it didn’t make sense, “Drink must’ve went down wrong.”  

    When they arrived at the beach, pretty much the entire town was already there. Alex and Hailey were flirting on the docks, Hailey trying to convince him to let her wear his bomber jacket and him slowly losing resolve. Shane gently held Jas’ arm to keep her from getting too excited and falling in the water as he pointed out the ripples of fish underneath the waves. Vincent was already there, sitting at their usual spot with his feet in the water. He jumped up and crossed the docks with all the speed of a sugar eye the moment he saw the trio. 

    “SAMMIE! SAMMIE!” He threw himself into his older brother’s arms, who laughed as he caught him. “Sammie, something touched my foot!” 

    Sebastian went to talk about the sea monster that inhabited the waters, but Sam held his hand in the air and said, “Don’t, Sebastian,” so he shut his mouth. 

    They were about a half hour away from Mayor Lewis sending off the light boat and attracting the jellies. 

    It wasn’t much longer that Elliott arrived. His auburn hair caught the starlight, glistening down the long braid that laid down his back. He was dressed more casually, missing his coat, instead in an olive green button up with the top two buttons undone, and jeans. Had Sebastian ever seen Elliott wear jeans in his life? He guessed he didn’t pay much attention until a month ago. 

    “Someone’s coming this way,” Sam teased. 

    “What?” Abigail asked, then looked over her shoulder. “Oh.”

    “I invited him to hang out with us,” Sebastian mumbled. “I now realize that was a shitty idea.” 

    “No, it’s great! Can’t wait to freak him out.” Sam lifted Vincent over the water until he squealed. 

    Sebastian rolled his eyes. Elliott strode up to them with his hands in his pockets and smiled. 

    “It’s great to see you guys again. And hello, Vincent!”  

    Vincent kicked until Sam let him down, nearly actually dropping him in the water. “Hi, Elliott! Sammie, can I go play with Jas?” 

    “Yeah, just be careful. Don’t go out of Shane’s sight, okay?” 

    Vincent ran across the docks to where the two of them stood. Shane looked up and nodded at Sam, who nodded back. They were close in the way where Sam considered Shane a friend and Shane considered no one a friend, so Sam fell into that category. Still, Sam told Sebastian about the few times Shane had gone to him when his thoughts turned dark, and Sam stayed up all night playing video games with him just so Shane would see the sun again. Shane pretended he didn’t care, but someone had to be paying for all the pizza and drinks that showed up at the pool table on Fridays. It certainly wasn’t Gus. 

    “So why did you two start talking?” Abigail asked, stood on one of the pillars of the pier with her hand to her forehead, scoping out the ocean for any signs of the jellies. 

    “Sebastian had a bad day and I just happened to be there,” Elliott said. 

He rested one hand on the small of Sebastian’s back, and part of him burned under Sam’s raised eyebrow, but the rest of him felt completely at peace. He decided to leave it be. For now. 

Sam frowned. “Wait, bad day? How long ago was this? You always tell me when you have panic attacks.” 

Elliott looked to Sebastian in surprise. Sebastian looked away. 

“That’s not true,” he mumbled. “I can’t tell you every time I have a panic attack.” 

“Yoba, how many do you have?” 

Sebastian didn’t answer. 

“Lately?” Elliott asked. “At least once a day. On bad days, around three.” 

“And how often does he have bad days?” Abigail asked harshly. She jumped onto the dock, the wood creaking under her. She crossed her arms over her chest. 

Elliott looked to Sebastian, and he sighed, nodding for him to continue. 

“Maybe two a week?” 

“Yoba, Seb,” Sam said under his breath, then louder, “That must be exhausting. Why didn’t you tell us?” 

“I thought you knew,” he said honestly. 

“Obviously we didn’t know.” Abigail punched him in the arm. “You should talk to Harvey about getting a prescription.” 

Elliott lit up. “I didn’t even think of that! That’s a wonderful idea.” 

“No it’s not,” Sebastian snapped. “Do you know what Mom will say if she finds out I need a fucking pill to get through the day? She’ll call me a druggie or think I’m…” She can’t know how weak I am. 

“No, she won’t,” Sam sighed. “I get she’s not perfect but you realize how much shit about her you just make up, right?” 

Elliott’s eyebrows raised. “Either way,” he said after a moment of silence, “I think it’s a great idea. At least think on it, Bastian? I can go with you, if you want.” 

He hesitated. That would make things easier, weirdly. “I’ll think about it,” he mumbled. 

“Oh, the jellies! I saw one!” Abigail leapt back to her post, nearly falling over. 

“I want to push her so bad right now,” Sam whispered. 

“If you’re willing to go in after her,” Sebastian whispered back. 

“Uh oh,” Elliott mumbled. 

“What-? Oh.” 

Maru trekked up from the beach, shoes missing and one side of her overalls unclipped, and padded across the dock. 

“What are you doing here?” Sebastian asked, his voice missing its bite. He quirked an eyebrow. “I thought you were with Mom and Demetrius.” 

“I was,” she said, “but I figured they might want some alone time tonight.” 

“Alright…” 

“So can I stay with you guys?” 

“Yeah, Maru,” Abigail said, and Sebastian got very close to pushing her in the water. “Come over here, I think I see one!” 

Sebastian crept a bit closer to Elliott, who wrapped an arm around his waist. He sighed. Abigail helped Maru up so they were balancing one foot each on the post, arms wrapped around each other for support, and Abigail pointed out the jelly she noticed. 

“I take it you two are still fighting,” Sam said. 

Sebastian shrugged. “Not really. We’re just not talking to each other. It’s better this way.” 

Sam gave Elliott a look. “Riiiight.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes. Maru had a look on her face Sebastian hadn’t seen before—at least, not in a very long time. It wasn’t smug, it wasn’t pure scientific interest, it was… excitement. She was spouting off every fact she knew about the moonlight jellies to Abigail, who listened intently, hanging on her every word. Her eyes were lit up, her grin wide, grip on Abigail’s denim vest tight. 

Abigail seemed happy, too. Sebastian always thought letting Maru into his life would be an utter disaster, that the two of them mixing would always be a chemical explosion, but this was… fine. The rest of them found a seat on the docks, squeezed together at the end with Elliott in the middle, as Lewis gently pushed the boat into the water. The waves were nearly non-existent tonight, and when Abigail remarked that she had no idea how that was possible, Maru was all too happy to explain. For once, her voice wasn’t grating. It was almost like background music, interspersed with Abigail’s “ooh”s and “oh, cool!”s and laughter. 

“Not too bad?” Elliott asked, and Sebastian sighed. 

“Not too bad.” 

The jellies came up through the water, dozens of blueish white lights coming to illuminate the docks. After a minute, Sebastian looked up to say something, and his breath caught. 

Elliott’s eyes were shining. A lock of hair had fallen loose from its braid to hang against his forehead, and Sebastian wanted desperately to reach up and tuck it behind his ear. The lights played perfectly over his face, glistening in his eyes, his hair. Then Elliott’s honey gaze flicked to his, and Sebastian wanted so badly to kiss him, to lace their fingers and pull him closer, closer, as the gentle water and sounds of wonderment sounded around them. 

He cleared his throat and looked away, face red. Elliott rubbed his back, and for a terrifying second, Sebastian figured Elliott must know what he was thinking. 

And that brief bit of fear was enough to let the rest in, to remind him of a simple fact: Elliott didn’t look at Sebastian the way Sebastian looked at him. Elliott was looking at the jellies. 

Will he ever be as excited to see me as I am to see him? 

Once the last of the jellies had visited and made their way south, everyone milled about for a moment before heading home. 

The five of them stopped on the bridge across from the beach. Abigail and Maru talked excitedly as they traded phone numbers, promising to go bug Hailey about getting pictures tomorrow. 

“It was good officially meeting you, Elliott,” Sam said with a lopsided grin. “Yoba knows why Sebastian hid you from us for so long—”

Sebastian playfully shoved him. “Shut up.” 

He laughed. “See you later, Elliott.” 

Elliott nodded with a smile. “See you later. And Sebastian.” He rested a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. “Sometime tomorrow? More piano practice?” 

Piano practice had become code for keep me company while I write. Sebastian loved it. “Yeah, I should be free.” 

Elliott headed back down to the beach, leaving Sam and Sebastian alone as the girls started walking towards the town. 

“So we need to talk a second,” Sam said, pulling them over towards the houses to get away from the stream of people leaving the beach. 

They stood under the tree they normally did on days that were too sunny. Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest and looked away stubbornly. 

“You know I don’t care if you’re gay, right?” Sam asked. 

Sebastian blinked, nearly choking. “What?” 

“I don’t care if you’re gay. Neither does Abigail. Do you care? Do you think Robin or Demetrius would care?” 

“Yoba, no! But that’s not-!”

“Are you gay?” 

Sebastian hesitated. “Maybe? I… I think so.” 

Sam grabbed his shoulders. “That’s fine.” 

He shoved him off. “Yoba, I know. That’s not…” 

“So what was your deal, hiding what’s going on between you and Elliott?” 

“Nothing’s going on between Elliott and I,” he said firmly.

Sam paused, then sighed. “Ah. Got it. I’ll let you live with this one for now, but let me know when you get your head out of your ass.” 

“What?” Sebastian snapped. 

“You know exactly what I mean,” Sam laughed, headed towards his house, “you’re just too scared to admit it. Check the fucking group chat, dork!” 

His door shut.

[bestillmyslashyheart]

0 to 60 in 3.5,

3/?

There was a race the next night. Forrest had let it slip while he was yelling at Alex that keeping him on was losing him business and it was short work to get the details out of him. Including the fact that the Evans crew was planning on going. 

The five of them were among the top ten racers in the entire southern California area but they rarely raced together. That night, all five of them were planning to show up and drive.

Alex couldn’t miss it.

The car he’d gotten from the Bureau wasn’t perfect. He’d taken it out for a few, or more than a few, test drives and he was comfortable behind the wheel but he knew there would be far better cars out there. Some of them most likely driven by his targets. If he raced, he’d likely lose. It was why he’d refrained from racing much so far. Oh he’d gone out most nights and he’d even driven in a few but they were always smaller scale with little on the line.

By the time he arrived, the party was going strong. The racers weren’t scheduled to start until later but Alex was hoping to make a few connections and possibly get himself on the ticket. He wouldn’t win but it would get him noticed. 

Alex mingled for about half an hour before the crowd’s attention was stolen by two new cars pulling in. One was a pink Nissan Skyline GT-R R34 and the other was a dark blue Dodge Charger R/T. Alex wasn’t surprised when Michael Guerin stepped out of the Charger; he’d seen it parked outside the garage enough times to know it was one of theirs. He had on tight jeans and a plaid shirt with the sleeves ripped off and most of the buttons apparently missing. He was mildly surprised when Jenna Cameron stepped out of the Skyline, though. He hadn’t expected her to drive a pink car; she reminded him a little bit of Rosa and he half expected her to insist on a red car too. But the ripped shirt, leather pants and boots she wore reminded him of Maria. And Maria would have absolutely driven a pink car if she’d had the chance so maybe he wasn’t too surprised after all. The second they were out of the cars, they were swallowed up by the crowd.

Alex hung back, unsure if he should approach them. Had it been a few days earlier he probably would have tried to approach Jenna but after the fight with Noah, he thought perhaps it was best to keep his distance for now.

“Please tell me that’s not your car,” Alex turned to see Michael glaring at the car behind Alex with disgust. Alex glanced over his shoulder at the souped up Volkswagen Jetta. It was gold. 

Alex cringed away from it. “Hell no,” he replied.

“Oh thank god,” Michael sighed in relief. “I’d hate to think a guy as hot as you had taste that bad.” Alex resolutely did not flush. After all, it wasn’t like he didn’t know Michael thought he was hot; he hadn’t been particularly subtle at the store. But it was another to hear him say it so blatantly. “So where is your car?”

Alex nodded at where his green Acura NSX-T was parked a few cars down. Michael eyed it, winked at Alex, and wandered over to check it out. Alex looked around to see if he could spot Jenna but she was preoccupied with a few women and didn’t look like she would invite any interruptions so he followed after him. By the time he reached his car, Michael had somehow popped the hood. Alex fingered the keys in his pocket to make sure they were still there. “How’d you-?”

“Trade secret,” Michael winked at him again. “I’m handy with cars.” He reached in and fiddled with something, Alex couldn’t see what. Didn’t stop him from reaching out and smacking his hand away.

“Don’t touch my car,” Alex snapped. Michael only grinned in reply. He held his hands up in feigned innocence.

“I would never touch another driver’s car.” He put a hand on his chest like he was offended at the accusation. “I just wanted to look. See what makes her...tick.” He ran his tongue across his lower lip and gave Alex the same look he’d given him at the store when he’d had his hand on Alex’s leg. He wasn’t talking about the car and they both knew it.

Alex dropped the hood shut with a scowl. Michael's smile dimmed. He looked Alex in the eyes for a second before nodding to himself and stepping back. He was about to leave and Alex suddenly didn’t want him to. Alex had initially targeted Jenna as a way in to the crew but he could already tell Michael would be the better avenue. That and he didn’t want to watch Michael walk away from him.

“Are you allergic to buttons?” He cringed slightly. That was not what he meant to say, at all.

But it got Michael to stop moving away from him. He turned back towards Alex and raised an eyebrow before looking down at his shirt then back up at Alex. “Problem?”

“I didn’t say that,” Alex defended. 

“Oh,” Michael drawled. His hands went to the two remaining buttons holding his shirt together. “So you don’t like the buttons?” Alex tried to glare at him but his eyes kept dropping to his chest as he pulled at the two sides of his shirt and bared his chest. Michael laughed and dropped his hands before the last buttons came undone. He leaned in close, close enough for Alex to breathe in the scent of him. “Maybe later. We’ll have to see how you race first.”

Alex’s eyes shot open. “So what? You’re my prize if I win?”

Michael smirked. “Maybe I’m the consolation prize when you lose.”

“Hey now,” Alex mused, “don’t sell yourself short like that.”

“I’m not. I mean, I’m good,” Michael assured him. “But I’m not 30 grand good. I imagine most people would rather have the cash prize.”

Alex quickly did the math. It wasn’t hard; four racers, winner take all. It was a $10,000 buy in. Alex did not have $10,000. “I guess we’ll have to see,” Alex replied belatedly.

Michael quirked an eyebrow at him in question but Alex was saved from having to reply by the arrival of three cars: a white Nissan 240SX, a red Toyota Supra, and an orange Koenigsegg CCXR. Isobel, Max, and Noah stepped out of their respective cars and Michael flocked to their sides without so much as a goodbye. From the other side of the crowd, Alex spotted Jenna making her way over to them too. 

With the last of the heavy hitters now here, Alex knew the races would soon start. He quickly made his way over to the guy running things.

“I want in,” he greeted.

The man didn’t even look up. “Which race?”

“Whichever one the Evans’ are in,” Alex replied. Four slots meant not all members of the crew would race together but he knew that Max and Isobel liked to race each other. Max won most often but Isobel had been known to beat him a few times and always enjoyed the chance to try again. The man scoffed.

“Race is full up.”

Alex took a deep breath as subtly as he could. The Bureau would not be happy with what he was about to do but- “I don’t have the buy in but I’ll throw in my pink slip.”

That got the man’s attention. He slowly looked up at Alex, his eyes assessing. Alex had met him a few times at smaller events but he wasn’t sure what the man thought of him. “Where’s your car?” Alex pointed over his shoulder. The man gave it a cursory look, probably to make sure it was the same car Alex had driven in the past. “You’ll lose,” he warned.

Alex shrugged. “Maybe. Or Maybe I won’t.”

The man scoffed and shook his head. “Whatever. I’ll clear it with Isobel and you’re in.”

“You need her permission to fill a race?” Alex raised an eyebrow.

“She doesn’t like racing for slips,” he countered. “I’m not gonna piss her off and make her pull out.” Which, considering Isobel was one of the main draws tonight, was certainly fair enough. “I’ll let you know later.”

Alex nodded and went back to his car. There were five races that night. The first was for the kids just starting out. Short and sweet, most people didn’t bother to stop partying to watch. The second was a little better, a few more people paid attention, but it was relatively tame. After that, small groups of people started leaving. The next few races were long enough that you couldn’t see the finish line from the starting line so the party had to move. Noah lined up in the third race, his bright orange car fitting in just fine with the other neon colored cars. 

Before the race started, Isobel sidled up to him. She didn’t look at him, choosing instead to look over his car. “Why?” She asked. She didn’t say anything else.

Alex looked over at her. “I like my job,” he replied.

Isobel stared at him, unimpressed. “We don’t want your car.” 

“No, seriously,” he cut her off when she turned to leave. “Forrest wants to fire me and I need my job. I’m on parole and not a lot of places are hiring people with a record.” Isobel’s face gave nothing away. “I got a problem with guys who get angry at women,” he continued. “It wasn’t my business and I shouldn’t have gotten in between your crew but I couldn’t do nothing. I didn’t mean to offer any insult, alright? I figure if we race for slips-”

“We’re not,” Isobel corrected. “And your car is worth more than the buy in.” Alex waited. “But we’ll take it.”

She stalked off, the crowd parting for her as she rejoined her brother. Alex missed the next race trying to figure out how he was going to explain to his boss how he lost the car.  Chatter around the crowd told him Noah won but Alex didn’t care. Michael and Jenna were pulling up to the line for the fourth race.

Alex hesitated briefly before slipping from the crowd and approaching Michael’s window. Plan A was to endear himself to the twins by sacrificing his car. Plan B was Michael. 

The window rolled down as he approached and Alex took it as an invitation to lean in. “I think I might need that consolation prize later,” he confessed.

Michael laughed. “I think you’re gonna need more than that.”

Alex accepted that with a shrug. “I didn’t ask earlier.” Michael raised an eyebrow in question. “What’s your prize? What do you get if you win?”

Michael’s eyes became heated as he looked Alex over. “Whatever the hell I want.” He raised the window and forced Alex to back up. Their eyes stayed locked through the window for a moment before the girl with the flag stepped into the middle of the road and Alex had to get out of the way. He caught the edge of an exasperated look on Jenna’s face as he passed her car before she was too focused on the race to pay him any mind.

The flag dropped and the cars took off. By the time Alex lost sight of them, Jenna was in the lead with Michael close behind her. The others weren’t even close.

Alex got his car and took his place on the line before he heard the results. Not that it mattered. 

A blue car pulled up on the far side of the street and idled at the line. Alex took a look at the driver but the windows were too tinted for him to see. A moment later, Max and Isobel pulled in and Alex ended up looking straight at Max. The other man gave him a polite nod and then proceeded to ignore him completely.

They sat there for a few minutes as the majority of the party cleared out and headed for the finish line. It didn’t take long, the destination not that far away except for the convoluted route Alex and the others were about to take. Before he knew it, the girl with the flag was in front of them and Alex felt it. That high he’d been chasing ever since he got behind the wheel of a car he shouldn’t have when he was 17. The flag dropped and Alex blocked out everything else in the world that wasn’t this race. 

The blue car fell behind quickly. It stayed close but Alex mostly disregarded it. His focus was on Max and Isobel. The three of them stayed tight for most of the race until the last stretch when Max pulled away. Alex crossed the line behind him a fraction of a second before Isobel. It took a second after he stopped for the world to come back. He sat in his car and took a few deep breaths before getting out. By then the crowd had already swarmed the cars. Among the group near Alex’s car was Max.

Alex flipped his keys over in his hand before holding them out to Max. “Guess this is yours.”

Max looked at the keys but didn’t take them. “You’re good,” he commented idly.

“You were better,” Alex tossed back. “This time.”

Max smirked. “We don’t have a spare driver tonight. Bring it by the garage tomorrow,” he ordered softly before fading into the crowd. Alex had only a second to let out a breath before Michael was in front of him. 

“Not bad,” he teased.

“I beat Isobel,” Alex replied.

“Barely,” Michael countered.

Alex rolled his eyes. “How’d you do?”

Michael stepped in close. “I did alright.” His voice lowered and his eyes flicked to Alex’s lips. “Now I get whatever the hell I want. And I think you’re entitled to that consolation prize. If you’re interested.” Alex was interested. His body swayed towards Michael of its own volition and Alex wanted. 

The scream of police sirens reminded him that that was a bad idea. He and Michael jerked back from each other as the crowd scattered. Alex made a beeline for his car but Michael hesitated. Alex followed his eyeline to where his car sat on the far side of the clearing. There was no way he’d make it there before the cops arrived. “Get in!” He yelled. Michael turned to him with wide eyes as Alex slid behind the wheel and started the car. He didn’t move until Alex swung the car around and put his passenger door right in front of him. “Get in!” He yelled again. This time, Michael needed no further encouragement. He was in the car in seconds and Alex floored it just as police cars started to arrive in force.

Alex spent a good half an hour driving in circles to make sure they weren’t followed. The entire time, both men sat tensely, eyes on their mirrors to make sure the night wouldn’t end in handcuffs.

“Okay,” Alex finally said. He let out a long, slow breath and felt his body relax slightly. Next to him, Michael collapsed like a balloon, air whooshing out of him in relief as he sagged in his seat.

They sat quietly for another minute before Michael started laughing. Alex looked over and was surprised to see what looked like genuine joy on the man’s face. “What?” He asked.

“Take me home,” he ordered in lieu of a reply. He started giving directions without letting Alex speak and soon enough Alex was parking on the street in front of a small ramshackle house.

“You live here?” He questioned. This wasn’t the address the FBI had on file. Officially, Michael lived in a house with Max and Isobel about ten blocks over. 

Michael hummed and nodded. “It’s all mine, too.” He said it like it was something to be proud of. “You coming in?”

“I shouldn’t,” Alex replied automatically before realizing that the only reason he shouldn’t was because he was working on a case and Michael was his target. But Michael obviously couldn’t know that. He scrambled to think of a reason to say no but Michael didn’t ask.

“If you say so,” he murmured before leaning across the gear shift to cup Alex’s face. Alex tangled his fingers in the front of Michael’s shirt instinctively when the fabric brushed his hand and he didn’t pull away when Michael leaned further in.

The kiss was electric from the start. Alex had thought the race earlier gave him a high but it was nothing on the feeling he got from Michael’s lips. Michael didn’t bother to start slow or sweet; the kiss was dirty from the start and Alex was helpless to resist. After too short a while, Michael pulled back but Alex chased him, digging his fingers into his hair and pulling him back in for more.

“Fuck,” he exhaled when they finally did separate. Michael hummed and licked his lips. 

“Thanks for the save,” he told Alex before opening his door and stepping out. 

“Fuck,” Alex said again when Michael closed the door. He turned the car off and got out before Michael even reached the front door. 

[kirishwima]

Also, can I ask for number 12 on the soulmate prompt list for Zen? I am so soft for Zen in any scenario 🥺🥺🥺, but also my mc has tattoos and the fact that Zen doesn't is a capital sin because he would look amazing with them

Zen w a sleeve,,,,,,,,that is all 12. You have half of a tattoo, and your soulmate has the other.

* Half a wolf on his arm, the tip of its ear at his shoulder, the end of his neck at the juncture of his elbow. 

* He woke one day when he was 17, running late to his part-time job as he dashed outside with nothing but a t-shirt and jeans, hoping his boss wouldn’t fire him over it, desperetly needing the money to keep attending his late-night acting classes-he was so lost in his own little world, he didn’t notice the stares he’d gotten, how people would whisper as they looked at his arms.

* It’s not like Zen was a stranger to the odd look here and there-he’s handsome, he knows. So he didn’t think much of it, not until he got to work, getting changed in the locker rooms when his co-worker whistled, nodding towards Zen.

* “Dude, that’s such a cool tattoo! Were you getting it done, is that why you were late?” he asked, and Zen looked at him like he was an idiot, a brow raised. 

* “What the hell are you-” he looked down to his arm and lo and behold-a black and white wolf eye stared up at him, its snout perfectly cut in the middle.

* He didn’t even get mad, didn’t worry about wether or not it’d affect his acting career, a tattoo of this size. 

* “My soulmate-it’s my soulmates! It’s my half it’s-” he looked around, wanting to share the news with someone, anyone-but his co-worker was already gone, the locker room empty. He looked to his phone then shook his head. His contacts list was empty anyway.

* He spent countless hours wondering how it’d look on his soulmate, the other half of his wolf-why a wolf anyway? Was it of any significance or was it just a random tat? What if someone else had a similar one and he got confused while searching for his soulmate?

* Years passed, Zen got busier and busier, yet the tattoo on his arm was just as prevalent-he’d frown everytime he’d have to cover it up for a show, feeling hollow when he’d stare down at a bare arm, wanting nothing more than to go home and wash the makeup off, see the wolf’s eye glinting up at him again.

* The significance didn’t make sense, not until years later, long after he joined the RFA.

* “For the last time you trustfund prick, yes I’m adopting a pet, no it won’t be a fucking cat-because I’m allergic you-” he yelled a few choice words into his phone as he walked towards the animal shelter, annoyed at how, of all the people who’d want to help him pick out an animal to bring back home with him-Jumin was the one who wanted to help him most. Only if it was a cat, of course.

* “Listen man, I’m gonna hang up now, and if you tell me to adopt a cat one more time I’m blocking your number and moving to freaking-”

* He stopped midsentence, mouth agape as he stared into the backyard of the shelter, a few dogs running around, a particularly large labrador jumping up into the embrace of a person-a person wearing the shelter’s work attire, a t-short and shorts-and beneath their sleeve, Zen could clearly see-

* “WOLF!” he yelled unconsciously, running up to the person that turned to him with confusion.

* None of the other workers had the time to stop him as he literally jumped the chain fence to hop into the kennel, not minding how it scratched his hands-he hurriedly took off his jacket, turning to  the person to show off his own half of the wolf tattoo.

* “Please-” he panted, catching his breath as a couple dogs came up to curiously sniff him, “please tell me this isn’t an artistic choice and that half wolf is actually your soulmate tattoo, or I’ll be really-really freaking embarrassed right now.”

* They let go of the labrador, walking cautiously towards Zen, tenatively reaching out their fingers to touch his arm, tracing his tattoo with their fingertips when he nodded his consent.

* “Do you also work with dogs?” they asked, their voice soft, a soothing melody in Zen’s ears.

* “Mmm, no. I’ve played a werewolf in a play though!” he grinned, relishing in the sound of their giggle, in the roll of their eyes.

* Before he could continue, before he could ask to touch their own tattoo-an intruder came inbetween them, growling viciously at Zen.

* A huge wolf-dog, it’s eyes bright, its face oddly similar to the one depicted on their shared tattoo stood between the two, initially snarling before sniffing Zen, slowly walking circles around him as it eased down, its tail wagging, its snout coming to rest into Zen’s side.

* “That-Alexander the 4th took a liking to you! You’re the first person he’s ever approached like this except well...me” they shrugged, rubbing the nape of their neck.

* “I-I guess I like him too” Zen laughed, daring to pet the wolf-dog behind his ear, earning a happy growl as the dog-Alexander, kicked his back foot with glee.

* “I-I’m MC” they brought out a hand, extending it to him, “since Alex’s a wolf-dog you can’t immediately adopt him, it’ll take a while to get you two to know one another but...we could get to know each other too in the meantime if you um-if you-”

* “I do!” Zen chirped in, jumping towards MC with gleaming eyes, boldly taking their hands inbetween his own, “I want to get to know you too. I-I’m glad to have met you. And Alexander the 4th, of course” he added as he felt the dog boop its head to his leg, almost pouting as it looked up.

* Of course, years down the line, when both he and MC adopted Alexander and told the story of how they met to their friends, everyone laughed-except for one person.

* “I see...so you never respected Elizabeth the 3ds name...yet now the tables have turned, and your dog in fact has a title barely a name apart from hers...interesting” he hummed, staring down at his nails in mock disinterest.

* Zen could feel the anger pulsing through his veins.

* “You...TRUSTFUND PRICK-”

* Alex and Elly did become great friends tho, so like....all’s well that ends well?

-send me mystic messenger headcanons for character(s) reactions-

[belovedkingx]

Mistletoe | knj

» Pairing: Namjoon/Reader

» Genre: Christmas au, Smut, fluff, f2l

» Word Count: 9.3k+

✥  Summary: Christmas is all about spending time with the ones you love, having fun and creating beautiful memories but that was never how it turned out for you. You were dreading the annual family Christmas, but an idea was proposed to you, and shockingly Namjoon agreed to it as well as yourself. But will it help or will it turn out to be a mistake?

Warnings: fake boyfriend, wet dreams, dirty talk, unprotected sex (be safe), fingering, blowjob, deep-throating, cum eating, cumming in mouth, dom!Namjoon, degradation (slut used once), spanking

A\N: Merry Christmas & Happy new year. 

— posted: 12.24.2019  || Masterlist || 

A slight airy groan escapes your lips with every punch and every kick you deliver to the punching bag. You've always found that a good workout helped you deal with stress and right now you need some stress relief. Christmas was right around the corner and every year you spent it with your family, but this year you weren't really sure you wanted to. 

"Hey, you're still at it I see." You turned your head to see your best friend Naomi with a towel around her neck. "Yeah, I'm about done." She hums, as she walks over to a bench, sitting down to wait for you. Naomi watches you and notices how hard you're pushing yourself, she can tell you're upset but she doesn't know why. "So care to explain why you're going ham on the poor punching bag." You laugh, stopping for a moment to regain your strength. 

"Well, it's just that Christmas is pretty close." You heard her gasp in surprise. "Aah that's right, I almost forgot." You chuckled as you shook your head. " And I've been considering telling my family that I won’t be able to make it." You swing your arm forward, punching the bag once more. "Wait, why?" You turned towards Naomi, catching your breath. "Because you know how my mom is, she's always pestering me about my love life and about having kids." You took a deep breath before swinging your arm at the bag again. 

"I mean she did it to Levi and since Alex has a boyfriend mom doesn't bother her, but when Alex gets to my age mom will definitely start nagging her for grandkids." Naomi nods her head despite the fact you couldn't see her. You felt bad for not wanting to spend this Christmas with them but you knew, in the end, you would go anyways.

"Now Levi is 27, married and has a kid on the way, and I know she expects the same from me at 24." The more you spoke the angrier you got, Naomi could clearly see it in the way you would punch the bag harder. "And the things she says to me, like "Why don't you have a boyfriend yet?" or "You're not getting any younger." it's not my fault that I've always had bad luck with guys." Your body was getting tired and you were reaching your limit so you gave one more punch before calling it a day. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to complain." Naomi quickly shook her head as she stood up. "Hey, no need to apologize, If you need to vent I'm your girl, you know that." You smile, looking down at the ground, feeling exhausted. "Now that your done bullying the bag, let's get you home, you look beat." She says, handing you your towel. "Thank you." Naomi throws her arm around your shoulders as she guides you out of the gym.

As you sat at the kitchen counter you stared at Naomi, shocked, not at what she said but the fact that she would actually think of something like this. "So your solution is that I find someone to act as my... boyfriend to fool my mom." You ask with a blank stare. "Yes, exactly." You continue to stare at her for a couple of seconds before shaking your head in disbelief. 

"And how do you propose I find someone willing to even do something like that?" You hoped she didn't think that far into her 'genius' plan. "Well I'm sure one of your guy friends would be willing, like Jimin or Jungkook, it's perfect, you both would know each other and trust each other." 

"Oh hell no, even if I took your plan into consideration I would never pick Jimin or Jungkook for something like this.” You chuckle, thinking how absurd the conversation was, you couldn’t believe that this was your best friend’s greatest solution. “Jimin would get too into character, He’ll have my mother thinking that I’m pregnant and that we’re getting married in a month, and Kook is just... a terrible liar.” Naomi starts laughing causing you to roll your eyes. 

“Okay, this conversation is over.” Naomi protests as you walk off. “Wait, I just-“ she was cut off by the doorbell ringing. “That must be Joon.” You state as you walk past her to open the front door. As Namjoon walks in with a smile Naomi turns to greet him but then stops. Her eyes widen as she sees him in a pair of blue jeans, a black shirt tucked in with a black belt. She was mentally drooling at the sight of him. 

"Oh my god, he's perfect." She blurts out, causing you to jump. "What are you talking about?" She stands up, looking back and forth between Namjoon and you. "He's tall, smart, good-looking, and your mom would love him." You shook your head as you instantly knew what she was saying. "For fuck sakes Naomi, he just walked through the door, you could've waited a bit before talking nonsense." Namjoon looked at Naomi and you, confused with a slight smile on his lips. "Umm... so what were you two talking about before I got here?" 

You walked back over to your spot near the counter, hiding your face in your hands as you leaned against the countertop. "She thinks I should have someone pretend to be my boyfriend so I don't have to deal with my mother trying to hook me up with one of her friend's son." Namjoon's eyebrows rise as he slightly tilts his head. 

"Well, it's not a completely horrible idea." He shrugs his shoulders as you slowly lift your head. "See, I have good- Hey!" Naomi yelled, finally catching what Namjoon said. "Are you serious? You do realize that you're that someone she's referring to?" He nods his head with a shy smile. "I'm aware, but I don't mind. I mean you've helped me so many times with so many things so the least I can do is accompany you as your boyfriend, plus I'm not doing anything for Christmas." 

Naomi stares at you, waiting for you to make a decision. You let out a low sigh as you stood up straight, looking back and forth between your two friends. "Okay, if you think it might work then let's do it." Naomi claps her hands together as she speaks. "Now that that is settled the next thing is, what are you gonna tell your mom?" Your eyes widen, initially you weren't planning on going through with her plan so naturally, you didn't think that far.

Before you could think any further your phone rings, you look to see mom displayed across your phone. "Speak of the devil." You said quickly before answering. "Hi, mom." Namjoon walked to the chair that was next to Naomi and sat down as Naomi Leaned close towards you, trying to hear your mom. "Yes, I'm mostly packed up." You kept leaning back as Naomi kept getting closer. 

"Yes I know mom, but there is something I need to tell you." As you turned to walk into the living room Naomi almost fell forward on her face but Namjoon caught her. 'So I'm bringing someone this year." You shake your head as you watch Namjoon help Naomi. "Yes, mom, a man." You quickly pull the phone away from your ear as your mother yelled in excitement.

It wasn't like you hadn't had a boyfriend before cause you have, it has just been a while since you've had one. "Mom? Mom?" Your mother was too excited to hear you so as you waited for her to calm down you looked over at Namjoon and Naomi and notice them arguing over a piece of cherry pie. "What the hell are you two doing?" They both stop, turning to you then went back to arguing more quietly.

You shook your head before putting the phone back to your ear to hear your mother bombarding you with questions. "I'll tell you everything when I see you, but I need to know when you want us to arrive." You stood up, walking over to Namjoon getting his attention. " You want us to be there tomorrow." You repeated your mother so Namjoon would know, it didn't even occur to you that he wouldn't be free to even come. 

But once he understood what you did, he put both thumbs up. "Yeah, we'll see tomorrow, but I have to go you know, packing and whatnot." She reminded you to make sure to wake up early before saying bye then hanging up. "Why the hell were you two fighting over pie?" Naomi immediately speaks on the matter. " We weren't fighting we were just deciding who was gonna take the first bite." You just laugh, shaking your head. "You two are so childish, I swear." 

"I guess I should head home then and start packing." Namjoon sat up, walking towards the front door as he waves to Naomi. "So what time should I come over?" He asks as you opened the door for him, he takes a step out and turns towards you.

"Why don't you come over around 10 in the morning then we can head out at 11, and be there by around 1." He nods his head as he leans forward. "Sounds good, sweetheart." he coos before kissing your forehead then walking away, leaving you wide-eyed and speechless. After a few seconds, you slowly shut the door then turned around to see Naomi standing there. "Ohh Jesus! you scared the hell out of me." 

She smirked with a raised eyebrow. "Looks like someones blushing." You scoffed as you walked around her, back into the living room. "What! I'm not, It's just hot in here." She chuckled but didn't push any farther. "Well anyway, I need to head out too, I have to wrap the last few gifts I have from my family." You hummed, as you sipped on your tea. "Okay." You hugged her after she slid her coat on. "And don' t forget to bring your present I got for you and put under the tree."

"I won't," you giggled as you walked to the door. "I hope you have a nice  Christmas with your new boyfriend." She teases with great pride. "Merry Christmas, Naomi." You reply, ignoring what she said. She skips away, waving to you goodbye like a child. You shake your head as you shut the door for the second time. You walked past the living room, down the hall into your room and plopped on the bed, next to your suitcase. 

You sat there spaced out, wondering how you got into this situation. Either way, you knew that the next several days were gonna be quite long, you just hoped that this so-called plan works.

After a two and a half-hour drive, three coffees and an intense conversation about the rules that the two of you will be following to ensure the success of the plan, you finally made it to your parent's house. Your nerves were getting to you and Namjoon could tell, as he parked in the driveway you take a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" He asked, noticing that you weren't making any effort to get out. "Yeah... No, I'm shitting bricks over here, what if they find out that we're not really together." You blurt out with a hand to your chest. Namjoon puts a hand on your knee, slightly rubbing it. "It's okay, they won't, just be yourself." Surprisingly his words seemed to calm you down, you smile as you nod your head before hopping out of the car.

The two of you grab your suitcases and dragged them across the snowy driveway. Once you reached the front door Namjoon was about to knock but you quickly grab his arm, stopping him. "Wait, just- you know what it's fine, go ahead." As you were silently freaking out Namjoon looked down at you with a smile before knocking three times.

A few seconds passed before you started hearing footsteps getting closer, as the door opens to reveal your mother, a sweet Christmasy aroma hits your nose. Your mom gasps when she saw Namjoon, commenting on how handsome he is before pulling you into a hug. "Oh my goodness, he's so tall." You hear Namjoon softly chuckle at your mother. "Hi mom, this is Namjoon." Namjoon bows to your mom causing her to gush over how polite he is.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs. Adara." Your mother looks at you with an impressed smile. "Where did you find him and where can I find me one." Your eyes immediately went wide as the word left her mouth. "Mom!" Her shoulders rose in surrender. "What! it was just a joke... kinda." She laughs at your reaction before backing up more. "Come in come in, it's freezing out there." As soon as the two of you step foot inside, your mother yells for your dad while your brother walks around the corner.

"Omg, baby sis, I've missed you. "Levi spoke, making a bee-line for you then pulling you into a tight hug. "I've missed you too Levi, but I can't breathe." You explained as you padded his back for him to loosen up. He pulls away with a giggle before looking towards Namjoon then back down at you.

"And who is this?" Namjoon reaches his hand out as he introduced himself. "Hi, I'm Namjoon, Y/n's boyfriend." Levi's eyes slightly widened but a big smile formed on his lips. "Oh wow, wonderful." You looked around, noticing that your father was nowhere to be seen. "Where's dad?" You asked your mom but your brother answered you. "On the couch, he was waiting for you but he fell asleep."

As you nodded your head your mother spoke again, getting Namjoon and your attention. "Well, why don't you two take your things and get settled in Y/n's room, then when you're ready you can introduce Namjoon to the rest of the family." You hummed in agreement as you grabbed your suitcase. "Okay." Namjoon bowed one last time before following you to your old room.

When you opened the door and walked in you hear Namjoon speak in a soft and low tone. "Wow, this was your room?" He asked, astonished. You turned and nodded your head. "Yep." A slight giggle left your mouth. The room was big, with six windows, cherry wood floors, and two cute matching nightstands on both sides of the bed.

You place your bag by the closet then took his from his hand and placed it next to yours. "You seem like your doing good." Namjoon stated his observation as you slid your coat off and threw it on the dark grey divan sofa. "Yeah, I guess I was just nervous over nothing." Namjoon steps closer, putting both hands on your shoulders.

"No, it's understandable to be nervous about something like this, I'm just glad that your feeling better." He said before pulling you into a hug. "Now let's go so you can introduce me to the rest of your family and show them how awesome of a boyfriend you have." You playfully hit his arm as you chuckle, causing Namjoon to think about how much he loved hearing that giggle of yours.

As you leave your room you hear talking from the kitchen. Before walking into the kitchen you pass your father passed out on the couch with a beer in his hand, you shake your head as you continue on your way. As you enter you see your mother, Levi and his wife, Mieko, also one of two of your High school friends. Once you see her you immediately walked over to her, hugging her.

"Oh my god, I've missed you so much." She expressed, still hugging you tightly. "I saw you last week." You laughed as you pulled away with a pout. "But of course I miss you too." You assured her. She looks over your shoulder to see Namjoon chatting to your brother. "Is that Namjoon from high school?" You took a quick look behind you to see where he was as you nod your head.

"Yeah, it's an interesting story, he's my boyfriend." Mieko's eyes widen so wide you were sure that they would pop out. "He's What? I mean I always knew he liked you but I had no clue you liked him back." It was your turn to widen your eyes in surprise.

"Mieko, he's only my boyfriend for the next few days." You see her eyes furrow in confusion but before she could question you any further you spoke again. "I'll explain later when it's just us, but for now I'm leaving it at that." She opened her mouth to speak and you knew what she was gonna say so you cut her off. "Later." She slightly pouts again as she looks over at Namjoon again. "Fine."

You chuckled at her before walking over to your mother and Namjoon. "Hey Joon, remember Mieko? from high school." Namjoon looks over at her and seemed confused for a split second before his eyebrows rise and mouth turns into an O shape. "Of course, if you weren't hanging out with me you were with her." Namjoon slides his arm around your shoulders as he continues to speak.

"It's nice to see you again, how have things been?" Mieko smiles as she reaches from Levi's hand. "Things have been really good, We're married and we're gonna be parents soon." She answers before giving Levi a kiss on the cheek. "Oh wow, congratulations." Levi and Mieko give their thanks before Yara came down the stairs. You made your way towards her. "Yeah, how are you?" She gives you a side hug as her slight pouts.

"I'm okay, just a little bummed out." You put your arm around her shoulders as you two slowly made your way to the kitchen. "Why, what's wrong?" You had a feeling on it was all about but you want to hear it from her. "Jae isn't coming this year for Christmas," You nodded mostly to yourself, realizing you were right about what this was about.

"I see, well there's always next year," She agreed, saying that he promised he would come next Christmas. Once the two walked into the kitchen Yara sees Namjoon and immediately stops me. "Wait, who's the hot guy?" She whispered, causing you to laugh in shock. "That's my boyfriend."

A high pitched 'what' escaped from Yara's mouth, causing you to shush her. "Sorry, I'm just so shocked that this day as finally come, I'm happy for you." Yara nods her head as she said that last part and you just weren't sure what to say. "I mean the fact that you brought him home means something, all the other guys you've dated never came this close and I think that says a lot about your relationship with him."

You started to feel really bad about this whole situation and about lying to your family, but you also felt a bit weird about what Yara said about you and Namjoon. Indeed, you've never brought a guy home, whether it was a boyfriend or just a guy friend, yet you felt comfortable with Namjoon being here and meeting your family. You pulled yourself out of your thoughts and grabbed your sister's hand. "Well, let's go over so you can meet him."

You dragged Yara over to where Namjoon was talking to Mieko and Levi. "Joonie," He turns his head, looking into your eyes with a look you've never seen on him before causing your heart to quicken. "This is my sister Yara." He gives her a smile before introducing himself. "Hi, I'm Namjoon, it's nice to meet you." You smiled at Yara's reaction as you backed away towards your father in the living room, letting them get to know each other.

Once you made your way to the couch, you couldn't believe that he was still asleep. You grabbed the beer out of his grip then placed a hand on his shoulder, softly shaking him. "Dad I'm here, wake up." His eyes started to flutter open as he shifted on the couch, then he saw you and stood up so quickly. "Y\n, you're finally here, I've missed you." He says as he pulls you into a tight hug.

Before you could say anything he was already asking about Namjoon. "So, where is he?" He asked as he claps his hands together. "Kitchen." Seeing your father so excited, running off like a kid put a smile on your face. You followed behind him into the kitchen, noticing that your father wasted no time to introduce himself. "It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Adara." Namjoon bowed.

Surprisingly you noticed that your father seemed to really take a liking to Namjoon as you watched them talk. Mieko then comes over, tugging on your arm. "What's up." You asked as she pulled you away from everyone. "So, are you gonna tell me." As you were about to answer her, you hear your father ask Namjoon to take a walk with him in the back yard. "Dad." You said with a stern voice.

He put his hand up slightly as he spoke. "Don't worry, I just want to have some man to man bonding, that's all." You waited a few seconds before nodding your head and leaving them be. As they walked off Mieko dragged you into the room she was staying in. "Okay, spill." You walked over to the bed and sat next to her.

"You remember Naomi?" Mieko nods her hand after a few seconds of thinking. "Well, she came up with this idea to have Namjoon pretend to be my boyfriend so my mom doesn't try to hook me up with her neighbor's son." Mieko made an 'O' face, understanding what was happening. "I see." You noticed Mieko gave you a look that made you a little confused.

"What, what are you thinking?" A small smile appears on her face as she stares at you for a brief moment. "The fact that he agreed so easily just confirmes that I was right about him liking you." You instantly shake your head, not believing what she was saying. "That is not the case, he is just being nice for all the times I've been there for him." Mieko shrugs her shoulders as her face displays doubt in your words.

"Okay, if you say so." You wanted to question her but you weren't sure if you wanted to continue talking about Namjoon and you. "And what does that supposed to mean?" Mieko crosses her legs before replying. "Nothing, I just-" You cut her off by finishing her sentence.

"You just don't believe me." She Softly shakes her head. "No, I believe you, I believe that's what you truly think but I think there are feelings involved." But enough of that, let's go see what the others are up to." Mieko stands up, pulling you along with her. You were speechless, you should have been prepared for this yet you just weren't. For some reason, you couldn't help but think you were going down a hole you would never be able to climb out of.

As Mieko pulled you into the living room you sat next to Yara, you pulled yourself out of your thoughts as your parents came in, sitting next to each other and Namjoon next to you. "So tell us how the two of you met and got together." Your mother spoke up and Mieko smile as she propped her chin in the palm of her hand.

"Oh um, well we actually met in high school." Your mother's eyes slightly widen, as she was about to say something Levi beats her to it. "So how come we've never met him?" Namjoon spoke up this time. "Yeah, I'd like to know too." You slowly turned your head towards him, giving him the death glare.

"Because we argued a lot so our friendship wasn't on that level yet, but after graduation and moving out we got closer as friends and we argued a lot less." Namjoon put his arm around your waist as he chimed in. "I  guess all those years of me teasing you paid off, or she wouldn't be my girlfriend." You almost burst out laughing because it was most definitely you that teased him.

"Babe, I think you got it all mixed up, I clearly recall me being the one teasing you to the point that you refused to talk to me for three days, remember?" You did your best to hold in your laughter upon seeing the look on his face. "You guys are too cute." Your mother compliments the two of you as you hear laughter from everyone else.

For the next few hours Namjoon, you and your family talked about how your parents met and told funny/embarrassing stories, games were played from Cards Against Humanity to Charades and many others. This was probably the best Christmas you've ever had, your family was more engaging than ever for the holidays and it was because of Namjoon.

After an hour of monopoly, everyone took a break while your mother checked to see if the food was done. You got up to go to the kitchen to get a drink but before you left, you asked if anyone needed anything. "Can I get a glass of water?" Mieko asked. "Sure." You left and got two glasses of water, one for Mieko and one for you.

Namjoon then yelled back saying he wanted one too but then said he would come and get it himself. Once he got to the kitchen, you handed him a cup before walking out, giving Mieko her cup. You stood next to the couch watching the tv that was playing some Christmas rom-com. Not long after, Namjoon came back from the kitchen, standing next to you eating Twizzlers. Both of you gave each other a quick glance and giggled before focusing back on the tv.

"Why are we watching this horrible movie?" Yara speaks out. "I was thinking the same thing." You agreed with Yara. You looked over to your left and see Mieko giving you the death stare like she was ready to chop you up into little pieces. Suddenly her stare turned into an evil smile, confusing you. "Hey, Yara isn't that mistletoe?" Mieko asked as she pointed above you and Namjoon's head.

As you slowly lift your head, just hoping that it wasn't really mistletoe your mother comes running out from the kitchen in a burst of excitement. "Oh, mistletoe, someone said something about mistletoe." Her eyes followed everyone else's stare and saw you and Namjoon under the seemingly real plant.

Both you and Namjoon looked at each other without saying a word, not really sure how to get out of this predicament. Your mother was encouraging you to kiss which caused the others to do the same until you gave up. "Okay." You barked before leaning forward. Namjoon leaned in, meeting you in the middle as he slid his hand behind your neck and resting the other on your waist.

With every inch closer, you got more nervous and more reluctant but you just wanted to get this over with so within a split moment you made a decision. Without hesitation, you closed the distance between the two of you, lips pressed softly against each other. His lips fit yours perfectly, you feel your cheeks heat up as you moved your lips against his, melting right into it.

You realized where you were and that your family was watching you, so you pulled away while avoiding eye contact with Namjoon. "Now that that is done can we eat, I'm starving." You said walking back into the kitchen. After your mother commented on how adorable the two of you were, she had everyone gather at the table as you helped her place the food out.

You take a gulp of your water after thanking your mother. "The food was amazing, thank you." She smiles at you after standing up and gathering all the dishes. "Your welcome dear, I'm glad you enjoyed it." The others said their thanks. "After I do the dishes I'm gonna head to bed, I need some rest for tomorrow." You announced as you stood up, grabbing Namjoon's plate along with yours but your mother stopped you. 

"Here, hand those to me and I'll do them, you and Namjoon can head to bed now." She grabs them from your hands before walking to the kitchen sink. "Are you sure? I can do them, it’s no problem." She practically shooed you away. 

"No, I got it, if I need help I'll just get your dad to help me, we're gonna be opening presents early in the morning so I need you two to get as much sleep as possible, so go to bed." You accepted her kindness and thanked her one last time before saying goodnight to the others. 

Namjoon bowed before thanking your mother once again. "Thank you so much for allowing me to be apart of this." Your mother smiled brightly at how sweet and polite he was. "You're welcome dear, we're thrilled to have you," Namjoon said goodnight before joining you at your side as you were talking to Levi. 

Namjoon quickly said goodnight to the others as the two of you walked to your room. You felt so weird after the kiss, you were so sure about your feelings for him being platonic but now you're just confused. You did your best not to seem awkward and to seem normal. Namjoon and you stayed quiet as you both dug in your bags, getting ready for bed. 

Once you brushed your teeth and did your night routine, you grabbed an extra blanket and pillow for Namjoon. As you handed them to him you quickly turned away, avoiding eye contact and walking towards your bed. You then realized you were making it weird and that wasn’t what you wanted. You took a deep breath before turning around. 

"You know, if sleeping on the couch is gonna be uncomfortable for you, you can sleep on the bed next to me." You offered, trying to be nice but you were lowkey hoping he would decline the suggestion. "No, it's okay, I'll be fine." A part of you felt relieved but another part of you felt as if he wasn't being truthful. "Okay." Both of you laid down, getting settled under the covers. "Well, goodnight Y\n." Namjoon uttered. You said the same, and soon after you fell asleep. 

The sensation of his warm hands stroking up and down your legs caused your body to tingle. Feeling each and every curve of his back as you hold him close to your chest, he kissed your neck before sucking gently earning a moan from you. As he leans up slightly your hand slide down his chest as you try to stop him from moving away from you. He smiles down at you as he grabs your legs, lifting and spreading them. 

"You have to tell me what you want if you want more, and I can tell that you do." He teased as he continued to caress your leg. You looked away shyly, but he turned your head back to him. "Be a good girl and tell me what you want." Your face was heating up even more than it already was, the thought made you tingle between your legs, which are spread open wide for him. "I- I want you, I need to feel you." He smirks down at you, satisfied with your words. 

 He fully leans up, positioning himself closer between your legs. He gently slides his dick between your folds, making you moan. With every thrust, his tip grazes over your clit again and again. "Oh, holy shit." You moaned out before he slides right into you with the help of how wet you were. You held onto him tightly as he filled you up, so close to yelling out his name in pleasure. 

You woke up abruptly with the sheets sticking to you, you were in a cold sweat, nipples hard to the touch. You threw the cover off of you, sitting up you noticed that Namjoon was sound asleep. You looked down and stared at the floor, stunned you dreamt of Namjoon like that. You looked back at him before taking a deep breath as you fell back onto the bed. 

Suddenly a knock startled you, making you jump. You hear your mother's voice on the other side of the door. 7:38 AM was displayed when you looked at your phone, Christmas day. "Y\n, wake up, I gave you an extra 10 minutes but it's time to get up now." 

You panicked, hopping under the covers then realizing that Namjoon was the one that needed to be in the bed. You rolled your eyes at how dumb you were just now before practically flying out of bed and over to Namjoon. "Umm... hold on mom." You shake Namjoon as you whisper to him to get up. "Joon, Namjoon." Confused, he looks up at you with sleep in his eyes. "Get in bed, my mom is at the door and knowing her she'll want to come in to make sure we wake up." 

He finally understood the situation and scrambled his way to the bed as you followed. "Hopefully, both of you are decent cause I'm coming in." The door gently opens, revealing your mother, she smiles at the two of you as she speaks. "Rise and shine, we're opening presents at 8 so that gives you two some time to properly wake up and eat some breakfast." 

You laid there, acting as if you just opened your eyes while Namjoon had his arm around you. "Okay, we'll get up." You reassured her as you smiled her way and sat up. She said something about pancakes and waffles before leaving the two of you sleepy, yet relieved. "That was too close." Namjoon commented. You looked over your shoulder and see him with his eyes closed, your eyes traveled down and you noticed that he was shirtless. 

"like what you see?" You realized that he saw you staring and you jump out of bed. "What, no, hurry up and put some clothes on." Namjoon laughed as you stormed out of the room into the bedroom to get ready. Once you got dressed you quickly ate your choice of Waffles with strawberries, getting done before anyone else. You sat on the couch next to the Christmas tree waiting for everyone. 

Your mother walks in and sits next to you with a big smile on her face. "What's with the grin?" You asked. She wraps her arms around you and gives you a big hug. "I'm just happy that you're here with us even tho you have to go back home tomorrow, and I want to tell you that I'm sorry for all the times that I would bother you about having a boyfriend or kids," You were so surprised to hear those words come from her, so you listened closely. 

"And I'm not just saying that now that you have Namjoon, I've realized what I was doing to you over the last few months." You couldn't believe your ears, you hugged her as she spoke. "I guess I knew my precious children would grow up and move out, and I’d miss you." It was true that once you moved you got busy but you would always make sure to call as much as you could. 

"So with your kids, I knew I could always offer to babysit for you if you ever needed it, and I would have kids running around here again." You knew she wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, but knowing this gave you that feeling. Yet you were also happy to know that you had the most amazing mother. 

"Cause as a mother, I just wasn't ready to let you go but I knew I had no choice, and Yara already has a boyfriend and is talking about moving out soon, so I'm sorry and I'm glad you're happy." You smiled and hugged her again for a moment. "Thank you for loving us so much, and I promise to visit more." She smiled at you before calling everyone in the living room.

Once everybody was seated, your mother gave everyone their presents. "These are for you two." She hands Namjoon and you two gifts each. Once your mother gave out all the gifts you noticed that there were two more left under the tree, you guessed that they were for Yara's boyfriend. Everyone opened their present, your mother got an 'I Love You Mom: And Here's Why' book from Levi and a 'Delish Insane Sweets' cookbook from you. 

You know how much of a baking queen she is so you thought she would love it, and she did. Your dad got a 'Bleecker Slim Watch' the one that you knew he had been eyeing for a few months and a 'Dark Saddle Leather Racer Jacket' that you and Levi went half on. He was more than happy, he was elated. Your dad got you and hugged you and Levi, saying how happy he was. 

Levi and Mieko got baby stuff like baby clothes and toys, just essential things that you would need for when you're having a baby. Then Yara was probably the happiest one about her gift, she got 5 gift cards to her favorite clothing stores, each card having about $500 on them. She jumped up and down, screaming with excitement.

Namjoon grabbed the bag, which was from the family. As he opened the bag he smiled, pulling out a long-handled soft bath brush. "I know a bath brush may not be the best gift but it was all I could get on such short notice." Namjoon shakes his head. "No don't worry, I love it, thank you," He reassured her.

He then opened your gift you got for him, he pulled out a white little box then flipping the top, realizing that they're airpods and a Leather & Canvas Electronic Organizer Case. "Thank you, baby." He leans forward and kisses your cheek. You felt your face heat because your mind went back it the dream you had, you took a deep breath before opening your presents.

You got an initial disc necklace with your initials and a Herbivore botanicals coco rose body polish, you guessed that he knew you ran out. You thank him and your family for the gifts before your mother got up to start on the food, knowing it takes a few hours. After opening presents you and Yara when out in the back yard, throwing snowballs at each other while Namjoon went to see if your mother needed any help.

"Need any assistance?" Namjoon asked. Your mother looked at him with a big grin, shaking her head. "No, it's okay dear, Y\n told me anything cooking related isn't really your thing, so I won't torture you." Namjoon chuckled as he nodded his head. "So you can go relax." She patted his back before continuing her cooking. Namjoon decided to join you and Yara in your snowball fight, you were distracted by Yara throwing a snowball that you didn't notice him close by, gathering snow to throw at you.

Yara saw Namjoon aiming for you but stayed quiet about it, waiting to see the outcome. Suddenly your ass felt cold and wet, you slowly turned around and saw him laughing. You stood there, shocked that you didn't see him but you weren't gonna let him get away with it. You bent down gathering snow, molding it into a ball then running full speed towards him. "You're dead!" As you ran, you slightly bent your knees, hoping to make yourself a difficult target for Yara.

You throw the snow at the back of his head and both of you immediately stop in your tracks, as you two stared at each other Yara throws one at your back but you didn't react because you were waiting for Namjoon's next move. Suddenly he charged at you and you ran laughing. You tried to get Yara back but failed, Namjoon finally caught up to you and grabbed your arm but then immediately fell, bringing you with him.

You couldn't stop laughing once you fell, when you calmed down you realized he was on top of you, watching you laugh the whole time. Suddenly the coldness seemed to disappear as your body started to burn from his body pressed up against yours. As he brushed a strand of hair out of your face, he gazed into your eyes so intensely that you couldn't look away, even if you wanted to.

As you two got lost in your own worlds, you forgot Yara was there, watching the whole thing unfold. "Get a room you two." Yara remarks as she walked passed. As Namjoon turned his head to look at Yara you grabbed a hand full of snow, softly hitting him in the face with it. He rolled off of you and you hopped up laughing, leaving him shocked to join Yara back inside the house where it was warm.  

After several hours of more games and eating dinner you helped your mother with the dishes this time, Namjoon sat at the dinner table after finishing his plate. Levi was sitting on the other side, across from him wondering what he was staring at until he followed his line of sight to you. Levi softly smiles to himself noticing how in love Namjoon looked.

"So when did you realize you were in love with her?" Namjoon whips his head in the direction of the voice, just then realizing Levi was there. Namjoon clears his throat before answering. "I guess I've always known that I loved her, I just had to tell her but as a teenager that wasn't the easiest thing for me to do." Levi nods his head as he listened.

"Throughout high school, she always thought that I was the smart one which led to a lot of arguments, but I always thought she was the intelligent one, not me." Namjoon reveals as he watched you laugh, having a good time helping your mother. "She's a very smart girl, I'm happy that she has someone like you in her life, this is the happiest I've seen her in a long time." Namjoon looks at Levi as he stood up. "And I hope that I see you here next Christmas."

Levi walks around to Namjoon, giving him a pat on the shoulder before making his way over to Mieko. Namjoon felt happy that your family liked him because you may have not noticed, but he was the most nervous he's ever been. He wanted to make a good impression on your family, even if you were pretending to be together.

"So when are you leaving tomorrow?" Your mother asked as she dried off her hands with the kitchen towel. "7 in the morning." Your mother's eyes widen at your words. "Really, why so early?" You then realized that your mom won't be able to see you off in the morning if you get up that early but you needed to. "Well, I need to be home by 9 so I can get dressed and get to work at 10." She nods, understanding.

"I'm sorry." You apologize, feeling bad for not being able to stay longer. "It's okay sweetheart, I get it, just make sure that next Christmas you and Namjoon stay longer." You chuckled at how much your mother took a liking to him. "Now why don't we both get some sleep so we both can wake up early and I can see you off." You were surprised to hear that she would wake up so early in the morning.

"But you don't get up that early.' She put a hand on your back, pushing you out of the kitchen. "I will this time, especially for my daughter." She switched off the lights in the kitchen before pushing you towards your room. "Now, you and Namjoon should go to bed." Namjoon noticed what was happening and chuckled to himself as he walked to your room.

Namjoon and you talked about the last two days and how much fun the two of you had for a few hours before going to sleep, regretting it the next morning. And like your mother said she would, she saw you and Namjoon off, giving you and him more hugs then necessary but you weren't complaining.

It's been two weeks since you've really talked to Namjoon, except for that Happy new year's text. You've been busy with work but not so busy that you couldn't talk to him, you were avoiding him. You've been trying to figure out your feelings, but you were missing him and the whole avoiding him thing was ridiculous. You sighed as you stood up, walking to your kitchen, you filled the electric kettle and turned it on. 

As you waited for the water to boil you looked at the clock on the wall and realized it was already 5 pm, you rolled your eyes, realizing how dumb you were being for not calling him to come over yet. You already knew how you felt, you guess you're just scared, or nervous or both, you knew what you needed to do. Grabbing your phone, you find Namjoon's contact to call him but before you could your doorbell rings. 

With your phone held tightly in your hand, you make your way over to the door and looked through the peephole. Stood there was Namjoon, you immediately felt your heart speed up, you stood frozen for a moment before opening the door. Once you opened the door he stared at you for a brief moment before rushing inside and slamming the door shut. 

As he walked forward you stepped back, it looked like he was trying to find the words to say as he looked into your eyes. "I've been texting and calling you, trying to talk to you and you've been avoiding me." he said in a low tone where you could tell that he was a bit frustrated. "You know, if I would have known that that kiss would make things weird between us, I would have found an excuse not to kiss you." 

You try to speak but every time you'd try he would cut you off. "it was so hard not coming over right away, in the beginning, I thought you needed your space but I just couldn't go on thinking our friendship was ruined.” You felt so bad cause you could have prevented this from happening. 

“Joonie, I-“ Once again, you were cut off and all you could do was listen and slightly smile at him. “And if I’m gonna be honest here, I don’t regret kissing you, I would do it again.” All of your fears about telling him how you feel for him disappear as he continued to talk. 

“I’ve liked you for a long time, and-“ It was your turn to cut him off, but with a kiss. You pulled him by the collar of his shirt, softly pressing your lips against his. Once you slowly pulled away, you looked into his eyes. “Sometimes you talk too much.”  You give him a quick peck on the lips before talking again. 

“Yes I was avoiding you but I realized how dumb I was being, and I was gonna call you to come over so we could talk.” Namjoon looked surprised. "But I don't think talking is what we want to do right now." You stated after noticing the bulge in his pants. His eyes trailed down to your lips as you grabbed his hand, guiding him to the bedroom.

You pull him to the bed and softly push him into it, you got in between his legs so you could bend down to your knees. You slowly dragged your hands down his chest and abdomen until you reached his boner. "Does seeing me in this turn you on that much?" You asked as you rubbed up and down his thighs. You were wearing silk shorts and a matching top, Namjoon nods his head as he leans down towards you.

"You have no idea." He kisses you before laying back on his elbows by your request. Gripping his belt, you unbuckled it and unzipped his pants then pulled them off completely. You rubbed him through his boxers until you earned a moan from him that had you squeezing your thighs together. You slowly slide his boxers down, letting the material rub up against his skin then pulling them off fully.

When you see his member spring free, you bit your bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to ride him and having him scream your name all night. As you grasp him in your hand he couldn’t help but curse under his breath at the feeling of his hard cock finally being touched. You lowered your mouth on the tip and kissed it gently, then rubbed your thumb over the tip before swirling your tongue over the head, while seductively looking up at him through your lashes.

"Oh Fuck,” he hissed as he gripped the covers while keeping eye contact with you. The way you were looking up at him had him breathing heavily, everything about it was making him horny. He watched you as you engulfed his length. Slowly, you bobbed your head up and down, moving your hand in time with your mouth.  "Ah - just like that." After a few seconds, you pushed your head down further onto his cock, feeling him hit the back of your throat. 

Namjoon threw his head back for a brief moment, letting out a deep grunt as he felt how deep you were taking him. As you started to gag around him, he felt even more turned on than he already was by the sight, especially as you continued to pleasure him rather than pulling away. "Fuck, As hot as you look with your lips wrapped around me like this, y-you're gonna have to stop or I'll cum too soon." You slowly pulled away from him with a pop. You smirked, proud of your skills.

As you stood up Namjoon sat up straight, pulling his shirt over his head. "Lay down." He commanded. As you climbed on the bed he softly spanked your ass, causing you to giggle. As Namjoon got closer you spread your legs from him. He positions himself between your legs and leans down, pressing his soft lips on yours. "Good girl." He praised you as he slid his hand down your abdomen until he reached the waistband of your shorts. 

His fingers teased your entrance, his eyes meet yours as a final demand for permission. As you nod your head, his index and middle fingers push into you. His thumb circles around your clit as he captures your lips in a kiss. You moaned in the kiss as his fingers curled inside of you. He pumps in and out at a fast pace, thumb rubbing against your clit. 

He slightly leans back as he watches you in awe while your eyes are shut tightly, mouth gaping in pleasure. "You look so fucking sexy right now." His eyes never leave your face, enjoying the gorgeous expressions you made, and knowing that only his fingers were making you feel this way, made him even more turned on, "J-Joon, I’m so close…" You stuttered out, gasping for air. 

He immediately increased his pace, coaxing you to orgasm. Once you calmed down a bit, he pulled his finger out, licking them clean. "Naughty girl, if you cum that hard just from my fingers, what are you gonna do when I actually fuck you, huh?" Without saying a word you sit up, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down with you before giving him a loving peck on his lips.

"I'll have a mind-blowing orgasm." He smirked down at you before leaning back and flipping you over on your stomach. You yelp in surprise, you knew what he wanted so you lifted your ass in the air. He gave you a soft smack on your ass causing your body to jolt with pleasure. "You know, the first night we spent at your parents, I heard you moaning in your sleep." Once the word slipped from his lips you tried to look back at him by lifting yourself but he put a hand on your back, stopping you.

"You had me hard within seconds, I had to leave the room just to calm myself down," He admits as he rubbed his cock between your folds, teasing you. "I wonder what you were dreaming about." Slowly, he pushed the tip in. "Fuck." You let out a low airy moan. "Maybe this was what you were dreaming of." Suddenly he slides his whole length in your warm and inviting hole. 

"Ahh, fuck." You gripped the pillow you were laying on tightly as he held your hips for a few seconds to get used to him. After a moment you finally told him to move, he started at a slow pace. With each thrust he would get deeper, burying himself inside of you. 

Namjoon groaned lowly at the sensation of your tight slit wrapped tightly around his cock, sweat glistened on his skin. "You’re so fucking tight." Namjoon nearly growled. "You're such a good little slut, aren’t you?" You moan out a yes before he grabbed both of your arms, pinning them to your back and holding them there by your wrist.

You could feel that coil in your stomach tighten, signaling your quick approaching climax. "Tell me, who owns this fucking pussy?" You were trying hard not to cum so soon but his dirty words were shooting right to your core. He delivers a smack to your ass to urge you to answer him. "You! you own this pussy." You cried out, feeling yourself slipping off the edge. He sped up his pace, fucking you faster, harder and hitting that sweet spot. "That's right."

He grins, fucking you through your powerful orgasm and not slowing down at all. You arched your back as you clenched your fists, wishing you could grip onto something. He makes each thrust count to your overstimulated demise, he continues until he couldn't stand it anymore himself. 

"Holy shit, I’m gonna cum," He groans as he releases your wrists. "Where do you want it?" You wanted to tell him to cum inside but you didn't want to risk it anymore then you already have. So you lift yourself, feeling him slip out of you then hopping off the bed, getting on your knees. "Cum in my mouth. I want to taste you." You gripped his cock, taking him into your mouth, giving him a few sucks before he spilled his load into your mouth. 

With your lips wrapped around his length, his mind was in bliss as his cum slid down your throat. He smirked, looking down at you after you swallowed it all. "Holy shit." He raises an eyebrow at you then motions for you to come towards him. "Come here." As you stood up, Namjoon held your face in his hands, slightly leaning down to plant a sweet kiss on your lips. 

"It's safe to say that next time we stand under mistletoe, I won't hesitate to kiss you," He sang. You lean in and kiss his neck before speaking. "And that dream I had was definitely about you." You admit. Namjoon smiled at you as he took your hands in his, guiding you to the bathroom. "Come on, lets shower then we can cuddle." 

You giggled as you hopped in the shower with the man that you indeed loved.

Thank you for reading! © 2019 | BelovedKingx - All rights reserved Copying, Translations & Reposting is Prohibited

[oddsnendsfanfics]

Unraveling at the Seams Pt 16

Genre: Fan Fiction Pairing: Alex Høgh Andersen/OFC, Henry Cavill/OFC Warnings: Language, Sexual Innuendo, Possible NSFW Rating: M Length: Multi Disclaimer: a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line. In no way am I affiliated to any of it.  

A/N: fingers crossed all the tags work today. 

thank you @flowers-in-your-hayr​​​​ for the header :D

Catch Up Here

Packing up their life had come with frustration and tears, in the past. Mostly from Nell, a few from Ivan, and then there was Henry. This time the only tears, so far, had come from the amounts of laughter that Ivan would induce. Once his room was nearly ready to go, the essentials remaining, Henry had convinced his son to help him start on the rest of the house. Nell had enough on her plate, packing was the least they could do.

Hour three of their morning packing, Kal and Ivan were growing restless. A sign that they needed to get out and have a good run around. A trip to the park allowing both of them to enjoy the sun was exactly the cure.

A few kids climbed on the play structure, shouting and calling to one another. Ivan recognized one or two kids from his soon to be previous school, though he didn't bother to play with them. Keeping to his dad and Kal. He'd spent time with his friends, the ones who mattered, when Henry had allowed him another sleepover with Leo and Sam.

Stoic in his actions, Ivan had thought he'd hid his tears well. Racing up the stairs and hiding in his room when his friends had gone home. Henry had done his best to hold it all together, reassuring Ivan that things would be fine and once they got settled, they would video chat his friends as much as possible.

Waving at a girl, a few inches taller and probably a year or two older, Ivan blushed and turned back to throw the ball for Kal. His actions not going unnoticed by Henry, who had been in the middle of sending Nell a photo of Ivan and Kal.

“A friend from school?” Henry stood a few feet from Ivan, waiting to intercept the ball from Kal. He'd noticed Ivan shyly letting the same girl pet Kal a few days ago.

“Uh, no. Not really. She was a peer monitor, in my class, for reading.” Ivan explained.

“Why don't you go over and say hello?”

“Nah, it's okay. She's with Kayla and I don't want to.” Shaking his head, Ivan frowned when Kal blew by him with the ball still in his mouth. “Kal, drop it. Kal!” he clapped calling the dog.  Trying to use the same deep tone his dad would. Useless.

Henry rolled his eyes, kids.

“Kal,” Henry whistled, lowering his voice to show Kal it was time to knock it off and bring the back the ball.

Ivan sighed, rubbing his hands on his shorts. Maybe nobody saw that. Silly dog.

“Dad, what do you do when you like a girl?”

A knowing smirk, Henry checked to make sure the path was clear before launching the ball and telling Kal to go get it. “What do I do? Or in general?”

“Both?”

“Well, if it were me, I'd walk over and say hi. Ask how her day was. If she had a good summer, compliment her dress. Maybe tell her a joke.” Groaning, Ivan made a suddenly disgusted face. “What is it?”

“Dad, please, never tell a girl a joke. Your jokes are terrible.”

“Hey, I will have you know my jokes are fine. It worked when I asked your mum out.”

“Mum's jokes are bad, too.” Ivan laughed at the shocked expression on his dad's face. “Jordan said Alex pestered mum until she agreed. I pester her, but she always tells me no.” He frowned.

“I don't think the pestering was the same type.”

“I guess that makes sense.” Scratching his head, Ivan let go of the dating topic. Kal slid to a stop at Ivan's side, dropping his ball and panting. Flopping to the cool grass, the big dog yawned and rested his head on his paws. “I think Kal wants to go home.”

Kal had impeccable timing, for which Henry had never been more thankful.

“I think we've worn him out, haven't we bear?” Henry stooped to collect the ball and give Kal a well deserved scratch under the chin. “He'll have loads of time to rest, once we get moved.”

“Do you think Kal would want to live with mum?”

“What do you mean?”

“She's going to be alone, maybe he could live with her? I think she'd like it,” Ivan lowered his voice, leaning in to his dad,  “and he would keep her safe.”

“I think your mum can keep herself fairly safe, but it is awfully generous of you to offer her company.” Henry ran his hand over the back of his neck, “Kal is an awful lot of work.”

Ivan shrugged, “So am I. Ms. Inglewood said so, but mum keeps me.”

“Let me talk to your mum about it, but I think Kal will probably come with us.” Henry smiled giving Kal another scratch as he leaned down to put on the dog's leash. “Speaking of mum, we need to stop in and pick up her gift.”

After days of agonizing searches, according to Ivan, they had found the perfect gift for his mum. He was proud of his purchase and couldn't wait to give it to her. Henry had told him that she was coming over this afternoon to help pack, the perfect time to give her the special present.

Unknowingly, Nell had picked her own present. She was going to be shocked, Ivan hoped she would love it.

Taking the morning to organize and rearrange a few things in the studio, per request, Nell was happy to go home. Even if it meant more packing. Since she hadn't been on set, she hadn't saw Alex in the last two days. Odd not having somebody interrupting her day, while she tried to work. Well, it was what it. Whatever it was, it was over and they were both free to move on and do as they pleased.

Armed with her favourite coffee,  two okay three brownie cookies– thank you Sophie, along enough tape and paper to wrap a life time of items Nell headed to her room to begin purging and packing her closet. Henry had neatly packed his things this morning to keep them from getting in the mess that would be tossed around the room by dinner time.

Thankful for his initiative. Nell pulled out a large suitcase, and a handful of hangers getting to work. Thirty or forty minutes in felt like a lifetime, keep on the bed. Discard on the floor by the black dresser. Packing the suitcase with some winter clothing, Nell groaned when her phone rang.

“Hi, mom.” She answered with a grunt.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine, I'm fine. What's new?”

Pleasantries and informal community gossip, from both ends, out of the way Evelyn began to dive into the finer details of life. Nell listened as her mother went on about this and that, bringing her up to date with the family. Stuffing the last item into the large suitcase, Nell huffed in triumph.

“Sadie and Dave are expecting, again.” Evelyn delivered the joyful news. Her oldest daughter had so much on the go, if it was up to Sadie the baby would be two and she'd still never get around to telling her little sister.

“Oh, wow.” Nell furrowed her brow, tongue between her teeth, trying to zip her suitcase.

Ivan would be a wreck the next few months, stressing whether his new cousin would dethrone him as the only boy. He took his place with great pride.

“Is that all you have to say?” Evelyn chastised her youngest daughter. “I tell you some good news and all I get from you is sarcasm?”

Short of sitting on the suitcase, Nell sighed, shifting her phone and rolling her eyes. “No, mom. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I meant oh! Wow! Good for them! Yay, they must be so excited.” She lifted her voice, faking her best enthusiasm.

“Really, Janelle. You're incorrigible.”  

“I'm sorry, really, but Sadie having another baby isn't on my list of priorities right now.” Rubbing her hand against her forehead, Nell braced herself for the lecture.

The sigh on the other end of the phone told her it was coming. 5. she waited, 4. Nell shook her head 3...2 -

“I know that you have a lot going on.” 1. “It wouldn't kill you to think of somebody else's happiness for two seconds. I expect you to at least send her a nice card. One that you've put some thought into.”

“She's my sister, of course I'll send her a nice card. I was planning to send her a nice gift too, or would that be too much like being nice?” Nell scoffed, “Mom, I'm happy for her. Really, I am. It's just...” she pinched the bridge  of her nose. “Ivan's moving in with Henry and I'm heading to Hungary to work. We're trying to find our own balance and things here are crazy.”

Silence, followed by a slight hitch in Evelyn's breath. Nell sat on the side of the bed, glaring at the offending suitcase. She would conquer that beast.

“Ivan is moving in with Henry, when? Why?”

So Henry hadn't said anything. For once he had left something for Nell to report to her mother. There was a first time for everything.

“They're leaving next week. I decided that it would be best, if Ivan was with Henry for a while. It may make moving easier. You know how he hates to move.”

“What about the new job Henry's taking? He won't have time for Ivan, too. Are you sure this is the right thing, Nelly?”

“Yes, I am.” Sitting straighter, Nell lifted her chin in confidence. “Henry and Ivan are on board, it's good to go. I'll be there, too. Well, not there there, but I'll be in Budapest if they need me and it's only as long as Ivan wants. He's free to move houses however he pleases.”

“You took the job with Henry, then?”

“I never said anything about my new job,” Nell frowned. Fucking Henry.

“Henry mentioned it, back when he told me that he was going there to work. He asked if it would be too overbearing and desperate, if he offered you the job. He said he wanted the best person for the job and you were the only person he could think of. I told him to go with his gut. Nothing more.” Evelyn's tone was softer, as she explained her role in all of this. “I'm happy that you took it. It's a great job and I know you'll so, so well.”

Biting her bottom lip, Nell sat silent for a moment. As much as she wanted to be mad at Henry for giving away her news, how could she argue with a compliment like that?

“Thanks, mom.”

Inhaling deeply, Nell could practically hear her mother smile. “Your father and I have never been to Hungary. We did France, Germany, Austria, and Switzerland one year though. It was right before we found out we were having your brother and sister. Gorgeous countries.”

“Once we're settled and things are running smooth, I am sure Henry and Ivan would love to have you.”

“I'm sure they would, but what about you?”

“Not that I don't want you, but I suspect Henry will have a bigger space. I mean, he's got Ivan and Kal. Plus I'm just the lady making sure he's dressed on screen. I'll be lucky to get a one room with a cupboard to stick Ivan in when he comes over.” Nell smirked, laughing slightly.

“Go on with ya, Nelly. Sticking that poor boy in the cupboard.” Evelyn laughed along with her daughter.

“Yeah, you're right. He's nearly too tall.”

“We miss him, you know. We miss you, too. Once things are settled, I do want to come see you. I know it's hard to get home right now.” Evelyn settled the jokes, turning on her serious mothering side.

“I'm going to try and come home for Christmas. I don't know what Ivan will want to do, but you could always come over for his birthday. He'd love that.”

“I'll talk to your father and maybe we will come surprise him. As for Christmas, we'll talk about that when it gets closer.” Evelyn concluded, telling Nell that she would talk with her later. Sending her love and to make sure Ivan gave her a call, sometimes soon.

Packing and purging, Nell was into a rhythm by the time Henry showed up. In the bedroom, Nell was placed in the middle of the floor, a box on one side and items to be packed on the other. Her closet nearly empty, she had a large pile of clothing by the dresser ready to be sent off to good will. Boxes and two suitcases sitting in the closet, where there had once been hanging clothes.

“Wow, you have a lot packed.” Henry whistled taking a look around the room. “I'm impressed.”

“No sense wasting time.” Nell shrugged tucking another wrapped trinket in the box. She'd made the decision to ship and store most of their belongings in London. She had a storage locker there, which would soon be restocked and left while she and Ivan went on their next adventure.

“I couldn't agree more, but you could have waited. I don't mind helping.” Henry grabbed the roll of paper, cutting off a few pieces to help pack.

“Ah well, I decided that I needed to do something, keep my mind busy.”

“How so?” Henry sat on his knees, taking a pause from his new job.

“Life. Things.” Shrugging, Nell took the next item to be wrapped from the pile. “I talked to my mom, this afternoon.”

“How are things with your parents?” Henry hadn't spoke to them, beyond asking Walt for help with dinner.

“My sister is having another baby,” Nell made conversation.

“Huh, good for them.”

“I suppose.” Nell shrugged. “Mom and dad want to come over for Ivan's birthday, as well.”

“That would be fantastic. I was thinking of asking mum and dad to come visit around then.”

“We could have a small birthday for him. He'd like that. Of course grandparents aren't the same as kids, but it will be nice.”

“I'm sure he'll have some new mates in no time. We can have a Sunday tea for family. Maybe a Saturday afternoon for friends?”

“Sounds great.”

Reaching for the tape, Nell held the box shut, while Henry laid a few strips of the packing tape across the top. Since he had briefly chatted with her earlier in the day, her mood had shifted.

“Mom said that you told her about the job. How you wanted to ask me.”

“I did,” Henry confessed. “I wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy in asking.”

“Why did you really ask me, Henry?” Staring at the tape in her hands, Nell blinked hard.

Sitting back, Henry rubbed his chin, a light stubble beginning to grow. “I wanted the best person for the job. I know that you won't admit it, but you're every bit the geek I am and I wanted someone who I could trust to get every detail right.”

Rolling her eyes, Nell cleared her throat, the tape still the most fascinating thing in the world. “Projects like this have insane resources, I doubt you needed me.”

“Maybe I wanted you?” Henry cocked his head, his brow knit as he searched for some kind of justification. “Nell, I have told you before, you are the right person for the job. No hidden agenda. You're good at what you do, I can trust you, and this has potential to be more than one job. What is so wrong, with surrounding myself in people who are excellent at what they do?”

Shifting around, Nell swung her legs out from under her, extending the distance between her and Henry. Curling her toes, she looked at the pale pink polish. Wiggling her toes at Henry, she smirked.

“I can't believe you asked my mom.”

“I happen to respect her opinion.” Henry grinned. Tapping the top of her right foot, he moved to sit cross legged on the floor. A nearly impossible feat given how big his damn legs were. “More than once I have asked your mother for advice.”

“She is good at giving it straight and she does adore you.” Nell moved her foot away from Henry, his fingers absentmindedly stroking over the top, lightly up her ankle.

“Are you happy?” Turning to look at Nell face on, Henry asked the question.

“Why wouldn't I be happy? I mean, there isn't anything for me to be unhappy about.”  Nell sat on the floor, scanning the things that still needed to be boxed and ready to move. A break wouldn't hurt. “Are you happy?”

“Sometimes.” Henry confessed. “Do you ever wonder, if we'd stayed...”

“Don't. No. Please, don't do that.” Nell shook her head. She was not in the right frame of mind to play this game. Henry turned his head, blinking a few times, he scrunched up his face. “I think about it more than I should and we don't need to argue, not today.”

“That is a fair point.” Henry agreed. Blowing out a breath, he puffed out his cheeks, tapping his thighs in an anxious manner.

“If it makes any difference,” Nell paused, picking up a photo frame to wrap, “I have a failed relationship because  of us.”

Henry had several. It wasn't a competition.

“Alex thought that, never mind.”

“Was Alex really a relationship?” Arching his brow, Henry pursed his lips. “I mean, it wasn't nothing, but was it really all that?”

“Yes. Maybe. I don't know.” Nell's shoulders sagged in defeat. “Part of his reason for it being over, was because he thinks you and I are still in love.” She laughed lightly. “How insane does that sound?”

“Huh,” followed by a subdued laugh, Henry reached for the next empty box dragging it closer.

Wrapping and packing this and that, Henry didn't continue the conversation. Silently, he did his job, allowing himself to process whatever other issues would have risen, if they had continued.

Some day they would sit and have a very long, very tough, very emotion filled discussion. Today was not that day.

“When we're done here, Ivan has something he wants you to see. By the way. He and Kal went over to hang out with Sophie.” Henry broke the silence after several moments of packing without a word.

“Why don't you run over and get them, I can finish this.” Nell smiled weakly.

The air in the room was lifted, the unspoken thoughts and feelings vanished with Henry. Cleaning up the pile of boxes, tape, and various packing materials Nell dusted her hands off on her pants. She hadn't noticed the time, sending Henry to collect Ivan and Kal had been a better idea than known.

A short visit with Ivan and Nell would be off to her hotel, surely Henry and Ivan would want her to stay for dinner, which is why she had come up with the excuse that she had some work to do and wanted to get back before it was too late.

Downstairs the door opened and chaos entered.

“Mum, momma, mum.” Ivan chanted rushing into the house.

“I'm coming,” Nell called from the stairs.

Barely off the bottom step, Ivan rushed her.

“Hi.” he wrapped his arms around Nell's waist.

“Well hello, Wild boy.” Nell smiled hugging him to her side. “How was your day?”

“It was good. Dad and I went to the park and then we went to get this,” Ivan took the bag Henry had been holding. Fishing out the neatly wrapped box, he extended it to his mother.

“This is from you?” Raising her brow, Nell took the box from Ivan, who was nodding eagerly.

“I picked it myself. In case you miss me. I didn't want you to be sad. Open it.”

Nell was going to miss the whirlwind of energy that her son brought everywhere. Thankfully they would be in the same city and she could see him, whenever she wanted.

“Aren't you sweet? Okay,” Nell smiled, gently pulling the bow off of the brightly coloured box. “Ivan.” she cooed, revealing the horizontal hanging bar necklace. The same one she had mentioned liking shortly before her birthday, then again before Mother's Day.

“Read it, read it.” Ivan urged.

“Love, Ivan.” Nell read the words engraved across the front of the white gold bar.

“I wrote that and then the lady put it on the necklace.” He bounced in place, like a rocket ship ready to launch. “Do you like it?”

“I love it, wild boy.”

“I wanted to get you a car, but dad said you didn't need an Aston Martin. So we got you this.”

“Thank you and your dad is absolutely right, I love this way more than a car.” Nell kissed the top of his head. “I love you, way more than anything.”

“Dad, too?” Ivan wiggled his way out of his mother's hug. Looking up, blinking at his mom, he looked quickly to Henry.

A deer in the headlights, Henry shook his head.

“Dad and Kal, both.”

Glancing over his shoulder at Henry, Ivan smiled, his eyes bright. His silent “told ya so.” more than evident.

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[tirednotflirting]

"I knitted you a jumper" with bach lashton (ashton is the one knitting obvs)

meghna you are the loml and this was so fun to spend the afternoon on, esp after trying to write these two again for AGGGGGES and coming up with something. so i hope you enjoy this <33333

can be read here on ao3 bc it’s like 3k bc i kinda ran away with this lol

Luke could pinpoint the exact moment the need for a hobby like knitting must have jumped into Ashton’s mind.

He always tried his hardest to wake up by late morning on his days off so his whole day wasn’t wasted away on sleep and could instead be spent running daytime errands or lounging about with Ashton. They had both nestled into each other’s homes pretty permanently in the last few months, their closets and grocery favorites split pretty evenly between Luke’s apartment and Ashton’s little hideaway. (Though Luke has to admit that his heart still flutters any time Ashton calls his little place home.)

It’s also pretty typical that his days off always begin with lazy cuddles beneath warm sheets before one of their stomachs starts throwing a tantrum for breakfast or Ashton decides it’s coffee time. But on one particular morning in late September, Luke wakes up alone, his arms reaching out for a warm body beside him only to find the sheets pushed toward him and the space cold, evidence that Ashton had been up for more than just a quick run into the bathroom. Luke sits up and lets the sheets fall to pool around his waist, his chest bare and cold without his human space heater to keep him cozy. His lips drop into a pout as he rubs the sleep from his eyes and he reaches for his phone to check the time. It’s just before noon but he doesn’t remember Ashton mentioning anything about morning plans. 

He drops the phone back onto the bedside table he’s claimed at the home Ashton’s taken up residence at since his “death” earlier in the year. It still never fails to astound Luke how Ashton’s careful way of living has been enough to keep the public believing the whole thing but some days he finds himself thankful for it. He knows their paths likely never would have crossed without it. Well, that and the fact that apparently Luke’s grocery store friend Calum turned out to be a childhood friend of Ashton’s from back home in Australia.

(The two of them had had a good laugh about the whole ordeal about a month or so into this thing that Ashton and Luke have had going since their initial meeting. Sometime in early summer Ashton had mentioned that the friend that owned the place was going to come over for dinner and Luke can only imagine how funny the face he made must have been upon seeing Calum walk through the front door.)

Luke wanders into the closet and pulls on one of Ashton’s jumpers before wandering out in the direction of the kitchen. His favorite mug sits on the island and he smiles after realizing it’s already filled, the color indicating that Ashton added the cream and sugar for him already. He lifts the mug to his lips and takes a sip while glancing around the room since he still hasn’t spotted Ashton. But then some movement just beyond the window tells him where to find his boy. 

He pushes at the sliding door that leads into the backyard, Ashton’s massive garden taking up most of the space. Ashton stands in the middle of all of the plots that once held all kinds of summer fruits and vegetables. Even from the door though, Luke can tell that something is wrong. Ashton looks like he’s having an argument with himself but also just looks a bit sad. Luke leaves the back door open (every day they get closer and closer to the point in the year where the weather will no longer allow the fresh air in the kitchen and they’ve been trying to take advantage of it while they can) and wanders over to where Ashton stands, his arms crossed and forehead wrinkled. 

“Good morning, sunshine,” Luke greets him, his voice still scratchy from sleep. Once close enough he presses a kiss against the creases in Ashton’s forehead and he feels them relax just the slightest bit beneath his lips. “What’s bugging you?”

Ashton sighs defeatedly and lets his arms unfold to wrap around Luke’s waist, his head dropping to his shoulder. “I picked a very summer oriented hobby. And now I don’t know what I’m going to do until spring.”

The concern Luke had noticed in Ashton’s face makes sense now. Ashton liked to stay busy, he went a little crazy without a project (the years of working in TV seemed to have left that effect even with the way he had found a way to escape that world). The back garden had been a great answer of where to expend all of that energy and their climate and location really wouldn’t allow it again until the spring. He was right.

Luke lifts his free hand to play with the grown out, faded black curls at the back of Ashton’s head. “How about some house plants? We’ve got great light in the living room here and at the apartment?” 

“I don’t know,” Ashton shrugs against Luke’s chest. “Just isn’t the same as getting to spend all day out here, I guess. But I could give it a shot.” 

Luke lifts his other arm to wrap around Ashton’s shoulders, careful that he doesn’t spill his mug. Ashton lifts his head from his shoulder and Luke finds himself pouting at the sad look in the hazel eyes across from him. “Don’t worry, Ash. You’ve got such a creative mind, you’ll figure out something.”

A small smile pulls at Ashton’s lips. “Mm, yeah, you’re right,” he starts as he lifts his face to press his lips against Luke’s cheek. “I’m going to go get what’s left from the green bean plants and we can do them with dinner? And would you mind unlocking the front door? Calum said he was going to stop by with a package from my mom.”

“Sure thing.” Luke drops his arms from around Ashton and lifts his mug for another sip. “Gonna make more coffee too. You want another mug?”

“Yes, please.”

Luke heads back in the direction of the house, his mind wandering with ideas for house plants he remembers his mom keeping around growing up as suggestions to share later. He stops just before reaching the door and turns back toward the corner of the yard that Ashton has made his way over to. “And don’t forget your hat if you’re going to be out here much longer.”

“Of course, love.”

Luke smiles, the domesticity of all of this hitting his heart for just a moment, and makes his way back inside to refill the kettle.

* 

It’s a few weeks into November when the boxes arrive at Luke’s door. 

Ashton’s family had been visiting for the week and Luke wanted to make sure they had proper family time so he had made the choice to stay at the apartment in between shifts that week. He had come over for dinner to meet everyone earlier in the week but after that had left them to reconnect at the house.

He had just woken up about an hour earlier when he hears a knock at the door. There’s no one there when he goes to open it but there are probably close to ten small packages (why they couldn’t have all just been in one big one is beyond him) all addressed to Fletcher Hemmings.

(When Ashton started using the name to get orders delivered to Luke’s place, the brightest blush had painted it’s way across Luke’s face in an instant. 

“What?” Ashton had questioned, honestly. “Hardly anyone really knew my middle name anyway and it’s so much less suspicious showing up at your door if it’s got your last name on it.”

Luke spent the rest of the week with the thought of sharing a last name with Ashton on a constant loop.)

He knows he needs to finish getting ready and head off to the hospital soon, so Luke texts a picture of all of the boxes sitting on the kitchen counter to Ashton with a few question marks and finishes his normal run through the apartment searching for his scrubs (the turquoise ones, of course, since it’s Friday) and makes a coffee before heading down to his car. 

His phone starts ringing as he’s parking at the hospital. Luke smiles at the selfie of Ashton kissing his cheek before sliding his thumb across the screen and lifting the phone to his ear. “Doing some early holiday online shopping, are we?”

“Ha, not exactly. But the family has just headed off the airport so I’m going to head over and make sure everything got delivered, if that’s alright?”

Luke smiles softly as he hits the lock button on his car and heads toward the entrance of the hospital. “At some point you’re going to have to realize you can give up on this whole asking permission to come over. Ash, you literally get packages delivered there and have a key, of course you can come over.”

He hears a dramatic sigh on the other side of the line. “I know, I know. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bright and early, as always,” Luke says while holding his ID card to the door to get the automatic doors to open up. He heads down the hall in the direction of his department, waving to those he passes with a smile. “You think you’ll be down for a sugary breakfast? I’ve had French toast on the brain all week and I want to hear all about your time with the family.”

“Yes absolutely, but I’m going to pick up some fruit on my way over. Balance is everything.”

“Alright, Mr Healthy. I gotta go,” Luke says while sliding in behind the desk and setting his bag beside his chair. “Love you, drive safe.”

“Have a good night, babe. Love you too.”

Luke smiles as he clicks out of the call and sets his phone down before tapping quickly at the keyboard to log in for the night. Behind him he hears someone clear their throat. “You know at some point you’re going to have to introduce us to this sweet man of yours. You know everyone would just be complete heart eyes like yourself if you brought him in one night.”

Luke rolls his eyes while turning to face Alex, the surgical resident that’s been on rotation in their department for awhile. “Fine, I’ll bring my guy in when you bring Jack by to hang out for the day.”

Alex laughs as he pulls out a couple files he must have been digging for out of the cabinet against the wall. “Oh, please, Jack absolutely does not have the kind of sense of humor that I can bring into a pediatrics department. Or at least not while I’m still working here.” He opens another cabinet and shifts the papers around in his arms to accommodate the growing pile he’s creating. “We can just double date sometime.”

Luke smiles and tries to hide his disappointment at the fact that there’s a zero chance of that ever being a possibility. “That would be fun.”

“Have a good shift, Luke,” Alex calls as he wanders back down the hall. “Tell all my favorites that Doctor Alex is bringing cookies tomorrow!”

“Will do!”

Luke wanders back into the break room then to make the first pot of coffee for the night and feels his phone buzz in his pocket while he rests his hip against the counter while waiting for the pot to fill with water. It’s a selfie of Ashton, his hair pulled back into a small bun, holding various bags of produce with a smiling Calum in the background. 

He remembers Alex’s heart eyes comment then and feels a blush across his cheeks as he replies with a string of fruit emojis and the story of the conversation he’s just had.  

*

Luke is used to arriving home after work to a sleeping Ashton against his pillow. Usually he’s wearing one of his t-shirts and it makes him feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy and just generally lucky and in love. So he’s surprised when he gets home at 8am to find Ashton sitting in the middle of the couch, his legs folded up beneath him with a pair of knitting needles in his hands and what appears to be a long scarf stretching out onto the floor. 

“Hey, love, what are you up to?” Luke greets as he walks into the living room after dropping his bag onto its hook. Luke lets his hands drop onto Ashton’s shoulders as he moves to stand behind him, his thumbs rubbing circles at the tension pretty much always present between his shoulders. 

“Well, a while back when I started having that crisis about what hobby to pick up for the winter months my mom suggested I try knitting,” he starts, his voice slow and a little distant as he obviously lets most of his concentration stick to the task at hand. “And she sent me some beginner’s materials and it turns out I don’t suck at knitting and it’s also quite fun. So I ordered a bunch more and now everyone is getting hats and scarves for the holidays.”

“That’s so lovely, Ash.” Luke smiles. Because genuinely, it really is. The living room at the house was filled with various house plants that Ashton had taken a liking to when Luke walked him around the gardening store on Facetime in October but he had been a little worried about Ashton having something a bit busier to occupy his time with. “So all the boxes were like, yarn and stuff?”

“Exactly. Though that’s all in the car now since I didn’t want you accidentally catching a sneak peek at the materials for your present. I want it to be a surprise.”

Luke jumps over the back of the couch to sit beside him. He wraps his arms around Ashton’s middle, out of the way of where his hands work, and presses a kiss to his temple. “I can’t wait to see it. Or wear it. Both, I guess.”

Ashton takes a second to finish his row and then sets his work aside. He turns to let his legs fall across Luke’s lap and drapes his arms across his shoulders. “I’m glad. I’m excited to make you something.”

As he takes in his boyfriend’s tired eyes and smile (it’s obvious this new activity might have gotten him up a bit earlier than usual), Luke can’t help but lean in to press their lips together for a moment. He feels Ashton relax more into his arms and the lucky and in love feeling starts flooding his mind again. Luke pulls back but lets his forehead stay pressed against Ashton’s as they giggle at each other for a moment.

“French toast time?” Ashton questions once they pause in their laughter. 

“Please.”

The feeling continues to float around in his brain as he watches Ashton cut up fruit while he flips the bread on the griddle. Though really, he thinks, that feeling has probably been taking up most of his mind since the day they basically wandered into each other’s lives.

* 

“Would you hate me if I give you your Christmas present early?”

Luke looks up from his spot in front of the fire to find where Ashton stands in the doorway of the living room, his hands holding something wrapped in bright red tissue paper. He checks his page number and makes a mental note before closing his novel and setting it aside. “Of course not, I love presents. Though the last part of yours is still in the mail so if you wanted this to be an exchange, we’ll need to wait.”

Ashton beams, his eyes bright and happy. “No, no. I’m okay to wait for mine but yours is done and I want you to have it right now.”

Luke smiles and he pauses to take a sip from his first coffee of the morning. “Well, I would love to have it then.”

Ashton wanders across the room and takes a spot on the floor beside him and places the package between the two of them. Luke tugs at the ribbon wrapped around the paper and gently rips at the tape to pull it open. As he realizes what’s inside, his lips fall open just a bit, from shock or joy or both he’s not really sure. “Ashton, I-”

“I knitted you a jumper,” he says, his voice quick while his fingers nervously play with the edge of his sweatshirt. “And it was a little daunting and probably a little bit beyond my skill level with this but you like jumpers and I wanted to make you a jumper.”

The smile on Luke’s lips continues to pull across his face as he lifts up the soft, baby blue jumper that Ashton made with his own two hands and Luke specifically in mind. His heart feels so full, like it’s going to burst out from his chest and across the room. “Love, this might be the kindest thing anyone has ever given me. I’m like, never going to take this off.”

He watches Ashton relax some then, his smile shifting from eager into something more fond. “Well, you may want to wash it every once in a while but I really appreciate the enthusiasm. Also try it on now. I want to make sure it fits.”

Luke hands off his mug to make sure he doesn’t knock it over and Ashton takes a sip while Luke unfolds the soft garment and pulls his arms through the sleeves. It fits like a dream, which especially surprises him since Ashton never asked to take his measurements. Though he supposes he could have just been taking a tape measure to another one of his jumpers at some point in the last month. 

Luke sits up then and scoots closer to Ashton until he can pull himself halfway into his lap and wrap his arms around his neck. “Thank you, Ash. You’re perfect. I love you so much.”

Ashton pulls him closer toward his chest and presses a kiss to the tip of his nose. “I love you too. Glad I can keep you cozy with my crafting.”

Luke laughs gently before he straightens up, moving to stand. “Alright, now it’s my turn to show you my love and appreciation in the best way I know how.”

Ashton pulls a face that’s a mix of confusion but also something suggestive, and Luke only rolls his eyes dramatically. “I’m gonna make the second pot of coffee.” He winks down at where Ashton still sits on the floor as they both start laughing.

Ashton reaches a hand up for help off the floor. “Man of my dreams, you are.”

And as they wander into the kitchen, Ashton hopping up onto the counter to keep his bare feet off the tile floor, Luke can’t help but agree.

*