#I guess??? idk what you could discern from this but just in case

[veeslug]

OKAY SO. YEAH THAT WAS AN EPISODE.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Secrets That Whisper & Shout

Pairing: Moonknight trio (Steven mainly) x Reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: idk brief mentions of violence

Genre: fluff & minor angst

Summary: you are extremely intrigued by your neighbor and the voices you can sometimes hear in his head because of course your neighbor seems extra susceptible to your powers

***

It's an interesting way to live life, being able to see into people's minds. To alter their memories, control their actions, hear their deepest inner thoughts even if you're not trying to sometimes. It can be weird but you just try your best to live your life normally. Right now the biggest hindrance to your delicate balance of normal is your neighbor. He lives across the hall for you and unfortunately, for some reason, you keep finding yourself inside his mind. It happens when you let your mental guard down for a little too long. You've always compared people's minds to houses, or offices full of filing cabinets, your powers give you a key basically but it seems like your dorky neighbor's mental door is never closed let alone locked.

The weirder part is what you hear when you do find yourself in his mind. For most people, the voice in their head sounds like them- and while you've never really spoken to your neighbor, you know for a fact there's no way he's simultaneously a nervous Brit, a cocky American, and a grumpy Spanish speaker. There are three voices in his head as opposed to one, they speak to each other and seem entirely independent of one another. You haven't intentionally done any snooping in his mind but you can imagine his mental filing cabinets are entirely different than any you've been in. It's not really your business though so you never look into it. No matter how curious you are about how and why he has three voices in his head. 

You know very little about your neighbor. From accidentally listening to his mental debates you think his name is Steven. The other voices have names too but you're unclear who is who because you've never stuck around long enough to discern that. He's not very social and only leaves his apartment for work or errands. He hardly ever takes phone calls and he never really calls anyone- except, around the time you moved in he used to call his mom pretty often but you think she never answered and eventually, those calls stopped. The strangest detail you've realized is sometimes he'll sneak out of his apartment, through the window and you have no idea where he goes or what he does but he's always back within a week. You don't mean to keep tabs on him, sometimes you cast your magic out to scan for threats and you'll notice the lack of presence in the apartment across the hall.

He's a curious case, your neighbor across the hall, and today you've decided you're going to bite the bullet and speak to him. Your curiosity about him is the main reason and you hope that being able to assign personhood to the voices you hear will quell it even a bit. You cross the hall and knock on his door confidently before you can convince yourself not to on one Saturday afternoon when you know he's home. You checked first. There's some shuffling on the other side of the door and eventually, it opens a bit hesitantly but it opens.

"Hi! My name is y/n. I live across the hall from you." You say, your chosen tone is friendly but soft.

"I'm- Steven. Can I help you?" He asks sizing you up.

"I hope so! I was baking cookies and even though I went to the store before I started I guess I didn't make a complete list of things I needed because it turns out I actually don't have enough sugar so I was just wondering if you had any I could borrow by chance?" You ask. You are baking, but you also definitely have enough sugar, it just seemed like the simplest way to initiate conversation. A bit cliche but it's a classic for a reason.

"You want to borrow sugar?"

"Yes. A cup if you have it." You hold up your measuring cup with a smile. Steven pauses for a moment before he answers.

"Sure. I've got some. Come on in I'll pour some for you." He says walking into his apartment. You follow him in glancing around. The studio style flat is full of books littered everywhere, it's the first thing you notice when you walk in. Steven takes the measuring cup from you and quickly grabs his container of sugar to pour some.

"Thanks so much! I'll bring by some cookies to repay you!" You tell him.

"Oh, no thank you. I appreciate the offer but I am vegan and I'm sure you don't intend to bake vegan-friendly cookies so-" He trails off with a shrug. You frown but make a note of the information. He's vegan. "I've never seen you before." He says after a moment while he puts up his bag of sugar.

"That's probably because you don't leave much besides for work. I've lived across you for over a year." You muse.

"Hey! I- I leave!" He turns to look at you.

"To do your laundry at the witching hour when you're the least likely to run into people?" You smirk a bit at him.

"No." He huffs.

"Thanks for the sugar, Steven. Hope to see you around more." You toss over your shoulder as you walk back into your apartment.

You do make a handful of vegan cookies for your neighbor, even though it wasn't your plan, after checking to find that it really is just a couple of minor changes, vegetable oil instead of butter, water or nondairy milk instead of eggs, and since you don't already have vegan chocolate you leave out the chocolate chips- at least according to the recipe you found. They're basically sugar cookies and you only make six for Steven, some of which you sprinkle with cinnamon to make up for their plainness, but you imagine they're a decent thanks for the sugar you borrowed- even if it was a ploy.

A couple of hours later, you knock on Steven's door again, this time with a small Tupperware container for the cookies you made him. He opens it again with the same confused frown after a few moments.

"Hi again! I know you said not to bother with the cookies because you're vegan but I wanted to say thanks anyway so- I adjusted my recipe to accommodate. They're sugar cookies except two of them are cinnamon, I wasn't sure if you like cinnamon so I didn't make them all cinnamon but the cookies are vegan. So, thank you, for the sugar." You say handing him the plastic container.

"You adjusted your recipe so that I could have some cookies?" Steven doesn't seem to believe the words even as he says them.

"Yes. I know you said I didn't have to bring any but I wanted to anyway. Since I did use your sugar to make them."

"Thank you. I appreciate the effort. I can't wait to try them."

"If you ever need anything, just knock." You tell him and wait for his cautious nod. "I'll be seeing you." You say leaving without waiting for him to agree with that statement. From then on, Steven does in fact make a point to speak to you more often. The first time is a couple of days later, he runs into you in the elevator and tells you he enjoyed the cookies. He'll definitely speak to you when he sees you around the building but it's on you to actually make plans if you want to see him otherwise and sometimes you do. You invite him out to lunch, have him over for tea, suggest movies to watch together, you even visit him at work every once in a while. The first time you went to his job you didn't even know he worked there, I mean he'd told you he worked at a museum but you never thought to ask which one, but once you knew he worked there you definitely made a point to pop in and say hi when you're around and he's working. It takes a while but you manage to build a pretty good friendship with him over the next few months to the point where you're hanging out a couple of times a week these days. In fact, he's supposed to be over later today to show you some movie he's been dying for you to see. For now, you're sitting on your couch reading a novel until he gets here. It'll be another few hours before he comes knocking at your door. 

You've really enjoyed getting to know him, more than you expected to honestly. He's as sweet and awkward as he comes off at first glance but there's something endearing about his gentle shyness even when he's raving about whatever thing has most recently captured his attention. You find yourself looking forward to the time you spend together more than you like to admit. You have no idea if your fondness is reciprocated to the same extent and you also have no idea how to broach the subject with him. Much like a skittish animal, you're always careful about how you make changes to your dynamic. It's something you try not to dwell on, if he likes you or if you'll tell him you like him and how to do so, things are good between you two and as they say, if it ain't broke don't fix it. 

Your head snaps up at the sudden rush of fear you sense. The book in your lap long forgotten anyway as you had been lost in your thoughts until the dread you felt in your very bones pulled you from them. It's not your own though, that panic, and you have to take a moment to pinpoint the source. You gasp when you realize it's coming from Steven. It's been a while since you felt someone's feelings so uninhibited and you rush out of your apartment before you can even consider a plan. He must be in trouble for you to feel his alarm this way. When you reach for his doorhandle you hear some sort of crashing sound inside and you force open his apartment door to find Steven evading someone attempting to corner him in the apartment.

"Steven!" You gasp when the masked intruder chucks some sort of dagger at him.

"Y/n?! Get out of here!" Steven shouts at you from behind the couch. You ignore him and charge the attacker by launching yourself using Steven's side table. The attacker can't react quickly enough to the kick that you aim directly at their chest and they go down hard. You don't give the stranger a chance to get up and strike either of you, taking advantage of their disoriented state you slip into their mind, 'suggesting' that they leave and forget they ever came here, forget Steven even exists and forget you while you're at it. When the masked assailant stands again they climb out of the window they came through without saying a word.

"Are you alright Steven?" You frown turning your attention to where he's frowning from behind his kitchen counter. When did he move behind the kitchen counter?

"What just happened?" He blinks at you.

"I am- a magical being of sorts-"

"Like a witch?"

"Something like that. I mean- I can do magic in the more traditional sense, like spells and such but most of my powers are telepathic. I can read minds and alter memories, reshape reality-"

"What?" You hardly register Steven's shocked exclamation.

"I mean that can take a lot of energy depending on the scale, like I obviously can't do it for everyone, everywhere, at the same time but like- I could say, make it look and feel like there are spiders all over this room." You shrug.

"Why would you ever-"

"Arachnids are a common phobia, it's gotten me out of some touchy situations." You say.

"That doesn't explain what just happened though." Steven shakes his head.

"Oh, I can control people if it comes down to it. I just- made the person leave and forget you exist."

"You can do what?!" His eyes widen.

"I don't use it! Usually. I've only done it a couple of times to protect myself or someone who really needed it." You shrug.

"And your protection was to force someone to do something else against their will?!"

"Hey, that person was literally trying to kill you! I could've taken the violent route instead but I'm not a fan of it!"

"So that man-"

"Doesn't remember being here, doesn't remember attacking you, doesn't even remember you exist. You're safe." You say.

"Holy shit."

"Look I wanted to be honest with you because I care about you but if this is too much for you to handle then- I will leave all I ask is that you keep my secret to yourself."

"You won't just... take it from me?"

"I don't want to. And I won't, unless that information in your hands becomes a threat to my life."

"Have you ever used them on me? Your powers?" He asks. You pause for a moment considering how to answer. Admittedly he doesn't seem to be taking all this super well, you wonder if it would be worse to just say no but looking at him you can't bring yourself to tell the lie.

"I have. Not- on purpose and nothing altering. No mind control or memory changing or reality reshaping- absolutely nothing that changed anything about you it's just that sometimes your thoughts are loud. You yell in your head a lot- in several voices. Sometimes I can hear them." You explain.

"You can hear them? The different voices?"

"Yes. I don't quite understand it but I never snooped I just- would leave when I realized it was happening again." You say.

"I think you should go." Steven says avoiding your gaze. Your shoulders drop for a moment that you're sure he doesn't see.

"I see. Alright but Steven-"

"Your secret is yours. I won't tell anybody." He says quietly. You nod although he's still not looking directly at you.

"Okay. If you need anything- my door's open. Otherwise, take care- Steven." You say and exit his apartment before he can respond. Steven's reaction hurts more than you'd like it to, you suppose you wouldn't have been able to keep the secret from him forever though. It would've come out eventually, especially if you got any closer to him as you had considered. 

The next two weeks are weird. Steven doesn't text you, or call you, or come over for tea or lunch, you make a point not to visit him at work as you are positive he's avoiding you based on the fact that he's clearly adjusted all of his habits so as to not run into to you around the apartment building. That- you think stings more than his initial reaction. To think he was so put out by your revelation that he no longer wanted to even risk seeing you... Whatever, you wouldn't dwell on it. The world keeps spinning. A sudden knock on your door interrupts you before you can focus back on what you were working on. With a confused frown, you walk over to the door and look through the spyhole to see Steven standing in the hall, and that surprises you immensely. For on that knock was sharp and harsh in a way you've never heard Steven knock on anything ever, but also for him to just show up at your door after 2 weeks is... unexpected. You pull open the door and lean casually against the frame.

"Hello." He nods and you immediately notice he does not sound like himself. You quirk an eyebrow at him.

"Steven? Hi. What are you doing here? And- why are you talking funny?"

"I'm not Steven my name is Marc Spector." He says.

"Did you hit your head or something?" You snort crossing your arms in confusion.

"No? I'm perfectly fine."

"Right except your name isn't Marc Spector it's Steven Grant. Unless you've been lying to me since we met which- would certainly be interesting but I don't think that's what's happening here." You say.

"Not quite. See we have a... condition-"

"Do not tell me about what's wrong with your body!" You put your hands up to stop him.

"It's psychological." He says.

"Oh okay. Proceed." You say.

"It's called dissociative identity disorder. My mind is- fractured. Essentially this body houses more than one consciousness." He explains.

"This sounds very Jekyll and Hyde and if you're coming to me to say you're a serial killer I don't-" You trail off when suddenly something clicks. "Holy shit you're one of the voices in Steven's head!" You gasp. You knew he sounded familiar but you didn't pinpoint it until just now.

"First of all, it's my head okay I am the original. Secondly- Steven told you about us?!"

"If he did do you think I would sound as confused as I do right now? No, he didn't tell me anything. I just realized why I recognize your voice." You say.

"Recognize my voice?" Now he's looking at you like you're crazy.

"I can hear you sometimes. You are quite loud- especially compared to the other one."

"You can hear us?" His eyes are wide as saucers.

"Yes, never on purpose though. I'm a telepath. I can read minds and change memories and alter reality and stuff like that so- sometimes I can hear you- which by the way we still haven't answered the billion dollar question why are you here?"

"Steven has been moping around for over a week now and every time we force him to leave he looks longingly at your door so I came to find out what the hell you did to him because I swear-"

"I didn't do anything to him. I told him I was a telepath and he freaked. He's been avoiding me since. All on his own. And before you start throwing around threats I'll warn you Marc Spector that I could take hold of your entire fractured little mind without even breaking a sweat. So tread carefully if you're going to start swearing things." Your eyes narrow at him.

"He's been avoiding you?" He blinks.

"We talked about my powers, he asked me to leave, and so I did. Probably assumes I'll take advantage of him using them or something." You shrug.

"Well you did just threaten me."

"It wasn't a threat it was a warning. Besides I'd never hurt Steven, you I don't know and you did start a pretty menacing sentence that prompted me to- never mind."

"Now I'm confused. If he's avoiding you, why is he moping around the apartment?" He frowns.

"You're asking me. You're the one that shares a body with him." You say.

"Explain to me exactly what went down?"

"I was in my apartment and someone attacked Steven- I don't know who or why but could feel it so I went over to help and I used my powers to get rid of them."

"What'd you do? Launch him out the window?"

"No? I just made him forget about us and where he was but when he mindlessly climbed back out the way he came in without attacking us I obviously had to explain some things. I guess Steven didn't take it all that well." You shrug.

"That doesn't sound right. I think you should talk to him."

"I- don't think he wants to do that." You shake your head.

"No. No, this has gone on long enough. Hang on." Marc says.

"Marc seriously mind your-"

"Y/n?" He grimaces. You recognize immediately that it's Steven you're talking to now.

"Steven- one the uh- voices? Marc? He thinks we need to have a conversation. Does he make a habit of meddling in your life this way?"

"Less often than you might think but- I do owe you an apology." His head drops.

"What for, exactly?"

"How I- handled things before. I was... cold, it's just that when you said you could hear Marc and Jake I was worried about what else you-"

"I'm sorry, who is Jake?" You shake your head at him.

"The identity disorder thing- there are three of us as far as we know. Myself, Marc, and Jake." Steven says and you nod as you piece it together.

"Would it be presumptuous of me to guess that Marc and Jake are not your only secrets?"

"No actually. Marc is an avatar."

"Of what?" You ask. Steven's shocked confusion prompts you to fill in the gaps, "I've met avatars for each of the sins so, one of those maybe? Or a celestial body of some sort? The moon perhaps- I'm guessing you don't mean in the same sense as the cartoon boy because people with elemental manipulation do not refer to themselves that way in real life so-"

"Khonshu." Steven says when you trail.

"What?"

"He's- Khonshu's avatar."

"Egyptian God. Interesting. Correct me if I'm wrong he's the god of justice, right?"

"That's right." He nods.

"So the guy that was attacking you a few weeks ago was probably mad at him for- something related to that."

"Most likely. Can't imagine a museum guest putting a hit out on me for not having any more pyramid pens or something." Steven scratches the back of his neck and you chuckle a bit at his joke.

"Interesting."

"Look- that day, I wasn't sure if this was something I was ready to tell you. I've never told anyone this before, the only person that knows is Marc's ex-wife, so when you said you could hear our thoughts I was worried you knew more than just that there were voices in my head and- I'm sorry." Steven trails off with a sigh.

"So- what changed? Why are you telling me now?"

"Well Marc revealed himself to you." Steven says. "But more than that I just- really hate not being able to talk to you. I like my life way more with you in it but I- after how I reacted I sort of figured I'd earned my misery, that I didn't deserve your forgiveness because when you chose to trust me with your secrets I turned you away, I even judged you, instead showing literally any modicum of support of the person I care about. I made an ass of myself."

"I wasn't upset with you, you know. I mean as far as shitty reactions go yours doesn't even make the top 5. You didn't tell the apartment building to gather their pitchforks so- I count that as a win." You shrug.

"I would never-"

"I know." You nod. "While we're- confessing our sins anything else you wanna share?" You ask with a chuckle. Steven holds your gaze for a long moment and there's a brief second where you consider finding out for yourself what he's contemplating so hard, you won't of course, but the silence drags long enough to make you want to rescind the question. Eventually, Steven's hand grabs your arm and yanks you towards him. His eyes are so wide at the action you'd think he's not the one who pulled you but before you can ask him about it his lips are on yours. The kiss is short and a bit unsure but his mouth is soft against yours and when he pulls away still with that wide-eyed look you do nothing but blink at him for a moment.

"I- I'm so sorry that was- I mean Marc was- I didn't plan- I wasn't going to-"

"Steven." You place your hand against his cheek to halt his frazzled rambling. "Did you want to kiss me?" You ask.

"I've wanted to kiss you for months." He breathes.

"Then don't apologize. I've wanted to kiss you too."

"Really?"

"Yes so- I think I'm going to do it again." You say pausing long enough to give him an out. When his eyes flutter closed you take that as your sign to lean forward and connect your lips again. You're sure in that moment you could do this forever and you silently wish to whatever powers above that you'll have that long to do it as many times as you wish.

***

A/N: I'm thinking of turning this into an anthology (like There is No Right Way) of the moonknight trio dating a telepath because I think it would be interesting idk- anyone interested in more of this dynamic?

[cripplecharacters]

oh yeah another question abt intellectual disability: what do people with moderate id speak like? i assume they wouldnt be perfectly articulate but i know making them talk like cavemen would be bad too. i do want it to be clear that they have language difficulties, but im not sure how to do that realistically. so what kinds of grammar errors are actually common? would it make sense to have them mix up words with similar pronunciation, or have difficulty discerning the differences in implications between words with similar meanings (like "pretty" vs "attractive")? do people with id ever 'imagine context' the way people(well, me) do when half-asleep where the brain mishears a statement as something completely unrelated? would spatial and situational awareness be impaired? also this is kind of a different question but if you can give advice on what to do with game mechanics for an id character in an rpg, that would be nice! i already have the stats figured out for every character and theres no stat that i think would be strongly affected by id but in terms of depicted fighting style and other mechanics maybe thered be some stuff informed by it (i cant do anything too complex though, im using rpg maker vx ace). idk! im spitballing here. main thing i need to know is how to write dialogue for a character with id ^_^

Hi! We have a post somewhat about this that you might find useful, I'll try to go over the other questions below!

Keep in mind my ID is mild (and on the milder side of that) so my answer will be all second-hand knowledge from talking to people with moderate ID in my SPED years.

A lot of it will depend on what condition causes they have. People with Williams syndrome have very “normal” verbal skills majority of the time and you can't really tell in my experience. On the other hand if they're autistic you can potentially guess from the tone of the voice e.g. they speak in a very loud and monotone way. People with Down syndrome are very likely to have a speech disorder, someone with cerebral palsy might slur their words, etc.

A lot of people with ID might be less talkative than your average person (there's definitely exceptions). So your character could use shorter sentences, simple sentences (in the grammar sense), prefer to use other forms of communication for things that don't require speech (e.g., nodding instead of saying “Yes, I agree”, or doing a thumbs up, etc.), or have to be prompted to actually answer/take part in the conversation.

I personally don't recall ever hearing the “mixing words with similar pronunciation” in someone's actual speech, maybe unless they learned the language from reading rather than hearing it? If that's the case, then ID could affect their speech more than if they didn't have it, otherwise I'd assume that the character might have brain damage or is maybe hard of hearing and simply mixes them up because they can't recognize/hear the difference between them.

Mixing words based on specific meaning makes much more sense in my opinion (probably because I do that myself lol). Synonyms or words that might make sense in one context but not the other are the worst. Your example here is great! When someone has ID they might take away the wrong meaning out of a word and use it incorrectly because of that. E.g., their parents used to take them camping to a forest with lots of bugs, they don't like bugs, they can later call something “foresty” to mean “with lots of bugs” even if it doesn't have much to do with an actual forest. This might make more sense for a character with more severe ID (or if they're just young) but using “attractive” when you'd normally say “pretty” makes sense for someone with moderate ID in my opinion.

Something that can also affect speech of someone with ID is word repetition. Not really in the echolalia sense (though it can be that too) but just using stock phrases that get repetitive over time. I try to edit it out from my posts but you can still kinda see it. For some people it will be ending most sentences with the same word, for someone else it will be starting two paragraphs with the same three words without realizing even though they're right next to each other or overusing “maybe” and “if” to start sentences.

As for the “imagining context” while mishearing something, I'm not sure if I know what you mean by it so I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I don't do it lol

Situational awareness is definitely impacted for all people with ID but to different degrees. I don't know if it's part of the diagnostic criteria but it might as well be. When the person's ID is mild it might look like someone who's just kinda unaware of what goes around them, maybe don't recognize that they're doing something that could end up badly. The more severe the intellectual disability the more obvious it is, the person might elope (wander off) and not be able to find their way back, not be able to use cooking utensils safely because they don't recognize the risks in real time (not really in the “not realizing that the knife is sharp” way if they have moderate ID, more like “not realizing that you need to be careful when putting things on hot oil or you can get burned”), assuming that people are automatically safe to be around, things like that.

Spatial awareness doesn't affect everyone, but one of the biggest comorbidities of ID is dyspraxia, which does affect it a lot. There are people with mild ID with severe dyspraxia, and severely ID people with no dyspraxia. It varies.

Unfortunately I have never played any RPGS and I'm not really familiar with the mechanics. Here's an old ask about intellectually disabled characters engaged in combat, hopefully it's useful?

If you want some real-life resources for hearing how intellectually disabled people talk, I really recommend this playlist. It's a bunch of interviews with people with Down syndrome and you can see that they're all very different from each other despite having the same disability.

I hope this helps! mod Sasza

[rin-and-jade]

Okay, so we've tried several times to write an ask, and each time we just..stop ?? So this time instead of explaining in detail n shit and saying how much we're sorry if this isn't appropriate to ask, I'm just gonna write :/

So, we're kind of stuck, in the sense that idk if I'm/we're(both pronouns feel wrong lol) a system anymore and,wdk what to do about it.

Because basically 5-6 years ago, when we were around 10(i think, but at this point i only know the story through the "telephone" of our retellings) our brain tried to just.. get rid of most of the DID. I'm not even ducking kidding, i think it tried to lower barriers and smush most of us together, to the best of it's ability. From what I've gathered, it planned on shoving all our trauma deep down in the innerworlds, and hiding them from the main kid. Like, getting rid of thousands of fragments, banking them in little crevices of our brain etc.

That procedure was supposed to make it so the main kid could have more of their life for them- without access or even knowledge of the sheer size of the abyss and pain in background, and thus being less affected by it till they were old enough to deal with it. Idk how to explain really, especially since i myself barely understand.

In any case, it went wrong. I don't know why much, as our memory has increasingly deteriorated since to the point i have nearly no knowledge left. I'm not sure even all that ever happened, because maybe I'm just inventing stuff and creating a story were there is none, and I'm scared that what i know isn't real and just my imagination or smth

And what's left is..me i guess. I kinda feel like a fragment in the sense that i have limited consciousness and just..person-space(if that makes sense ?) I'm not sure if I'm several people, one person, an eldritch entity of kinda seperate kinda not glued together entities.

Idek what i want to be. I want to be a full person, that's for sure, but other than that ? Idk. I'm lost, I'm a mix of tons of different opinions and vague, weak, feelings, and flashes of blurry memories and desires that don't belong to me.

So.. i know you probably can't help, but do you have.. any idea on what I could do ? Or if others have been in similar situations and if it got better ?

This is a very long ask x knows, and it's desperate, and you aren't our/my psychs so I shouldn't just dump this and hope you have answers, and I'm so sorry if this isn't appropriate to ask, but yeah.

I'm sorry.

Dissociative disorders do the job, but not perfectly, what you're explaining from the words of "nearly no knowledge left" sounds like retrograde amnesia, where it is near to impossible to remember anything from the past.

I also get a bit on what you mean with not knowing who you are,, that is usually close to a blurry moment? Because everything feels jumbled, its not clear, it is hard to discern wether there's multiple or not, etc. That could sound like it;

Have you been exposed to stress? Especially long term? Has anything awful been happening? Many factors can affect memory and recognizing who you are that can stem from basic needs that are neglected like sleep or rest if you're working for long periods, or deficiencies on vitamins/minerals/nutrition because they also play a part on fending off brain fog which can cause many issues like memory recall or trouble focusing,, or it can be to even deeper issues like stress as i said before, or if it is related to trauma, or any sustained physical injuries but it could be anything really.

Im guessing this is something that didn't happen in such a short time, but i do can give you some stuffs to do for starters:

Write down everything you can notice those feelings, those lingering sense of identity, or vibes, or thoughts, they are truly jumbled and it helps you organize and recognize your situation better if you have a physical record of what you're experiencing

Find the cause of problem If you can, try digging up anything you can find that could be the culprit, maybe before things get too foggy to remember that could serve as clues, and by checking with your current health (physically and mentally and emotionally) and see what could be fixed.

For sense of fulfillment It is overwhelming to know which or where you have to start from if you want to learn more of yourself, while you can do number 1 to jot down things you don't align with, this also gives you some ideas on what could be yours. Start somewhere small, like, how you like your daily morning, or preference in eating food, or the colors you think it looks cool.

It would also be great if you can leave out the tiniest bit of context next time, so my answers for now are rather vague and less pinpointed/specific. Though atleast still can suffice as a starting point to tackle your issues.

You can contact me anytime via ask box or DMs, let's see how things go for you okay?

- j

[stuckinapril]

hi! a post u reblogged keeps coming back to me, (the one that starts: "there really are some people who never take accountability for their actions ... and you cant change that.") and idk i just wonder how you can tell if that's actually the case or if the other person really -does- deserve to devalue you/some part of you (not speaking of you directly here, lol) and pushing back against them makes -you- the manipulative one....

i keep feeling like saying "i am __ (insert whtv, like being trans, or changing how i look) and you can't change that" is something i shouldnt do out of respect/not copying others but idk! u seem way wiser than me people wise, so that's why i ask lol

feel free to ignore this sorry, i usually hate rambling in people's inboxes and won't in the future, but my brain feels like it's on fire a little lol

Hey babe 💕 I understand where you’re coming from. I’m interpreting your words very loosely here, in the sense that by “devaluing a part of you” you just mean someone does deserve to call you out for shitty behavior. Obviously no one actually deserves to devalue you, which is an entirely different concept from calling you out. I’m pretty sure that’s what you meant, but it’s a distinction I felt is necessary anyway bc some wording in this post is giving me people pleaser haha—and I was totally there at several points, so I get the resistance to embracing this idea.

The answer to your question comes down to self-awareness. I’ve been a self-aware person my whole life—and a people-pleasing one at that. I’ve never really had a problem copping to my mistakes; in fact, I did that so excessively that I would even find myself being “the bigger person” in situations I had no business being the bigger person in. I’d literally be walking all over my own self and dignity just to appease somebody else. I guess I’m just a person who started from 0 and had to go up in terms of self-confidence lmao, so my root problem was that I had to stop myself from going “this person deserves to put me down/paint me as the bad person” in situations where I was not the bad person. Obviously if you’re someone who’s starting from 100% and has to go down to 50% to meet someone in the middle, you have the opposite issue to mine. You have too much pride to apologize, you really struggle to hold yourself accountable, you will cut people off rather than just hash things out. I was never that person.

You kind of need to be extremely honest w yourself to discern which one you are, bc I’ve seen people who suffer too much ego and yet hide themselves behind these saccharine affirmations (“I’m just not for everyone” “I’m misunderstood” “I’m just I’m just I’m just”) but it’s a bandaid on the actual problem, which is a problem within themselves they need to address. They can’t admit that they have an “ugly” flaw, so they cope by self-victimizing instead. Self-victimization can also be a form of sanitization (“I wasn’t cruel to this person; they’re just too sensitive and they don’t get my sense of humor”), which is yet another way of making something you did more “socially digestible” as opposed to coming to terms w it for what it is: genuinely shitty behavior. Luckily I don’t think I’ve ever had that flaw. Like I have an ego just like every other human being, but I’d say it takes me way less than other people to get over it and own up.

I don’t wanna paint myself as a saint btw bc my people pleasing isn’t all rooted in selflessness. Obviously it has its own selfish aspects. It can stem from insecurity, it can stem from an inferiority complex, it can stem from wanting desperately to belong, and it can even stem wanting control. For instance, believing you’re the problem in every situation gives you a false sense of control over it (“if I could just fix my behavior, this problem would be fixed too; if the other person is the problem, then I can’t fix this problem, bc it’s harder to control this person than it is to control myself. Therefore it’s easier for me to be the problem so this can be resolved faster”). I’ve had to face the uglier sides of me head on, but it’s okay!! It’s literally okay. It’s okay to quietly work through this stuff. It’s okay not to be born perfect. I know we’re living in an age of extreme sanitization rn, but I assure you it’s okay to learn to live no matter what anyone says. I dislike it when people make it seem like these visceral issues of theirs are all just a byproduct of positive aspects (“I’m just too selfless” “im just too kind!”), bc while that can be partially true, it’s usually not the entire story. And that’s okay. It becomes a problem when you don’t actively work to change for the better.

As for your second paragraph, I’m not sure what the point is? If someone is trans and someone else isn’t respecting that, they’re well within their right to assert it. This is a pretty different scenario from the one I was mentioning in that post. Hope this helps elucidate things a little bit x

[neonscandal]

Just see this in twitter by someone : "I'm starting to think maybe people should read actual BL manga. perhaps considering manga written with actual gay characters in it in addition to shipping m x m from whatever battle shounen you're into."

Like because of those subtext, there can be fanfics and fanarts, right? And then I decided to come here, your blog is really one of my comfort place....

Comfort place!? This makes me want to carve out time to post infinitely more. 🥹 Even though it feels a bit aimless, I’m glad I could cultivate that for you and hope I can continue to do so.

RE: twitter, without context, it's hard to tell whether this person is earnestly recommending people to expand their interests into BL or if they're dumping on people who tend to support and identify queer shipping across other genres.

On the one hand, heavy agree that if you appreciate queer pairings of any kind to absolutely find media and stories that shows healthy (and authentic, if possible!) representation of whatever you're into. I feel like sometimes in BL, specifically, there’s a lot of toxicity or violence passed off as romance which is why I recommend being discerning. Here are some green flag recommendations and I kind of touch on the importance of identity through engaging with queer content by way of BL's featuring fudanshi's there. Isn't always the case, but it's a storyline I appreciate.

If the poster was side eyeing queer ships in "mainstream" or shonen stories... they should grow up. I've been in and out of fandom for like.. 20 years. There have always been people who recognize and popularize queer ships. Back in the day? Characters didn't even have to share the same show, universe or genre to end up in a crossover slash fic on Fanfiction.Net.

Don't get me wrong, I've definitely needlessly explored several crack theories or made off-base assumptions about a story for the sake of trying to guess at where it’s going. But I sometimes question people's competency for reading/watching comprehension when a particularly shitty hottake is making its rounds on social media. Like are we not watching the same thing?

Subtext does exist. I don't know that all authors are as elegant or intentional in its execution but if you're not bothering to consider the possibility, you're potentially missing out on critical pieces of a story you're choosing to invest hours/years of your life into! This isn't simply as it pertains to shipping but also picking up on critical exposition (Attack. On. Titan.) or even questioning whether the information we're getting as the reader or viewer is conveyed with any sort of narrator bias. Yes, this is absolutely a My Hero Academia call out. ✨

Queer coding does exist. Tons of reasons why queer characters aren't always explicitly identified as such. More often than not, there's some form of censorship. Whether at the editing level during manga production or when it comes time for manga/shows to be approved for international distribution (re: information that's lost in translation vs outright decisions to alter the flow of the story). Most glaring example of this that comes to mind is Haruka Tenou or "Sailor Uranus"/Michiru Kaiou or "Sailor Neptune. In addition to gratuitous name changes when Sailor Moon was pushed abroad, several countries would rather portray the two as unusually close relatives despite the clear romantic undertones exhibited whenever they were on screen together. Also, IDK why, but pretty sure I'd seen somewhere that, initially the creator of Naruto did want to canonize Sasuke/Naruto but, truth be told, I've never watched the series and that could have been a fanon theory I'd seen.

Overarching messages exist. Similar to the first point, a story is seldom just a story. More often than not, you're looking at some sort of social critique or opinion that's being expressed or explored through the story. To not bother thinking critically about what you choose to spend time in enjoying is a pretty bland way to miss the point of it.

When all else fails, it's not our fault that the only relationships most shonen mangaka focus on developing is the one between "rivals". That's it. If there were more dynamic characters or literally any consideration toward the depth of intimacy between the main character and whatever tritagonist female lead the male lead inexplicably ends up with (aside from the simple rationale that "she is the girl 🎀"), then maybe fans won't have to hone in on how the only agency, equality and intimacy is between the only two characters of substance. That was a mouthful but so are the overly poetic soliloquies shonen rivals inevitably share about one another.. ✨

I'm guessing this question might be related to the last anon ask about fanfics? I agree regarding the fact that subtext allows for a richer selection of fan art and fics. I think, depending on content, the motivation for reading fics will subsequently differ. For instance, I'm less likely to read fanfics for a romance series even if I sometimes write for them because the source material generally satisfies what I wanted from them. But fix it fics, angst and romance fics for shonen/seinen series'?? I'll definitely pick them up because, 1) there are usually unexplored relationship dynamics in the source material, 2) there are alternative domestic/fluff storylines you'd never see because the genre doesn't allow for it, 3) the canon plot is usually so devastating *cough, JJK, cough* that I need a respite, and/or, 4) the developing plot tends to have a lot of holes that writers can explore to craft uniquely compelling AU's and alternative plotlines that I wouldn't imagine.

Man, it's been a while since I nerded out and really took the time to bang out a rant. I've had so many thoughts bouncing around but just zero time. Thank you for your ask and the reminder that there's someone else out there in the shipping trenches. Stay safe out there, anon!

[moriihana]

we can’t fix each other but we sure as hell can enable each other instead || fourteen: probably not the best plan to go to deika

pairing: dabi x disabled!gn!reader

overview: you meet dabi pre-canon because your cat, nugget, literally won’t leave the guy alone. friendship, fluff and (eventual) angst ensue.

chapter summary: meta liberation arc time!! y'all meet ujiko and then get jumped at deika

content: fluff! probably a little bit of angst but idk

word count: 3729

a/n: this was hard to write lmao so it's probably. notvery good

taglist: @iincandescenttt

AO3 link

← previous ; next →

— ABOUT A MONTH AND A HALF EARLIER, BEFORE THE HERO BILLBOARD AWARDS…

“Eugh, that’s fucking disgusting.” You rubbed at your mouth as you hunched over on the ground, groaning while the nausea from the Quirk used to transport the group subsided. “I hate that so much.” 

“Stinky!” Toga whined and scrunched her nose up, shaking her arms up and down in annoyance.

“This is…?” Shigaraki looked around, confused.

“Where’re we now?” Dabi straighted up, holding a hand out to you to help you up as he took in his surroundings. “Nomu…? But unlike any we’ve seen before…” He tilted his head to the side, an eyebrow raised.

“They’re kinda creepy looking. There’s so many…” You stepped closer to Dabi, brow pinched as you eyed the Nomu cases. You practically jumped out of your skin when a voice rang out loudly with an overjoyed laugh. Your head whipped in the direction of the source.

An old man was sitting in a swivel chair, looking at you from over his shoulder. Almost all of his features were obscured by a bright light, the only things discernable being a strange pair of glasses and a busy moustache. “Can you tell the difference?! Once again, you’ve got a pair of sharp eyes, Dabi! Yep, these little ones are nothing like the mid- and low-level Nomu! They’re high end! Super Nomu I could almost call masterpieces! Impressive, huh? They’re my finest work yet!!”

You practically pressed yourself against Dabi, unnerved by the man’s boisterous attitude. He wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping a possessive grip on your hip.

“Doctor, I’ve been looking for you for a reason. I need you to reproduce some bullets I’ve got,” Shigaraki interrupted the old man’s rambling with a frown. 

“You’ve let your hair grow out, Shigaraki! How’re your Father and the others doing?” The doctor ignored Shigaraki’s statement, much to his obvious displeasure.

Despite that, he still answered the question in a fairly patient voice, “They’re fine.”

Compress squinted in the direction of the doctor. “Our doctor, I presume? It’s too bright to many anything out.”

“Stay back!!” The doctor practically shrieked, his chair taking off down the hall. “Sorry ‘bout this, but I wouldn’t recommend coming any closer. When we need to meet face-to-face, I’ll come to you. And if you break this rule, I’ll send you right back to that big old meat grinder.”

“You’re the one who summoned us, you freaky geezer,” Twice grumbled.

“Fuckin’ weirdo,” you muttered into Dabi’s arm.

Dabi sighed, boredom and annoyance lacing his features. “Why are we here?”

“I’d rather not give out my location, so I transported you all here instead. Besides Shigaraki, you’re all fresh faces to me, I guess. We might’ve met somewhere before, though. Like Gigantomachia, I’m one of All For One’s confidants. Daruma Ujiko is the name I give myself, for now. 

“Anyhow, Shigaraki… I summoned you here out of respect for the boss. My life, my tech and my little ones here… I offered them all up to the great All For One. Up to now, you’ve been getting by with just scraps and leftovers of my work. Now, I’ve got nothing against you. I just need to judge if you’re worthy of having all this. 

“Cus so far, you’re nothing. Just a 20-year-old kid palling around with the dregs of society. So what do you have to show me, Shigaraki Tomura?”

You scowled at that, a mixture of indignation and offence brewing in your gut. How dare he say that to Tomura.

“...I don’t remember much about my life before meeting Sensei and you.” Shigaraki tilted his head back as he rustled in his pocket.

“Yeah, I’m aware,” The doctor commented.

Shigaraki ignored him. “And yet… when I equip everyone all over me… my rage just boils over. I can’t help it. Ever since that day… I’ve done a lot of thinking. All I can really remember is Sensei holding me. Before then, I’d been an empty shell—completely hollow.

“So when I have the whole family on me, I feel so sick that I want to vomit, but I also kinda feel at peace… it’s weird! All I’ve got are these fragmented images, yet… it’s like there’s a lump of lead deep down in my heart, providing an endless source of rage that bursts out. It’s like I’ll never feel good again.

“Even if this hero society comes crashing down… even if I rise to rule the underworld… that weight in my heart is never gonna go away. It’s why I hate everything. Every living, breathing thing just rubs me the wrong way. So why not destroy it all? Why not destroy everything? I know you see it too—the beautiful horizon just waiting for us. So lend me a hand, won’t you, doctor? Heaven and Hell both—I’ll show you all of it!”

You smiled softly, turning your head to look at your best friend, who had a slightly manic grin on his face. He’s really turned into such a good leader. I’m proud of you, Tomura.  

However, your smile dropped as a vicious rage overcame you when Ujiko burst out laughing. 

“What a childish daydream! Saying that with such a straight face was quite impressive!! Very well, Shigaraki Tomura! I’ll help you out, so show me you mean it! Prove to me that you can make your villainous pipe dreams a reality!!” The doctor’s laughter continued.

Fucking asshole. Laughing at Tomura and calling him childish… ugh. If we didn’t need him and I didn’t value not being obliterated, I’d punch him in the face.

“So easy-going…” Compress mumbled.

“Tomura-kun seems kind of disturbed.” Toga looked a little nervous. She then made a face, puffing her cheeks out in a pout. “Wait… you want to destroy even the things I love?”

“My allies are exceptions. You guys should get what you want in life,” Shigaraki huffed.

“Woo-hoo!” Toga jumped up excitedly. Your anger fizzled out at the girl’s genuine joy, an fond look on your face. Dabi scoffed with a shake of his head.

Ujiko’s laughter quieted down to giggles as he spoke up again, “You’ve passed with flying colours, Shigaraki!!”

“You were testing me?” Shigaraki gave him an incredulous look.

“Sure, I wanted to see how much you’ve grown! But the plan was always to help you out… and these little ones are the first thing. As well as some research I’ve put together, all to give you power. But I can’t give you that second thing yet, because without a doubt, you’re all weak! You’ll need to prove yourselves first! The big guy—simple as he is—is a different story. Unlike me, he hasn’t accepted you yet! That’s right. Get Gigantomachia to submit to you… and everything I have will be yours to use as you see fit!”

“Right. This sure has been one looong tutorial.” Shigaraki grinned.

“Do what you want, Mr. Leader, but I ain’t helpin’,” Dabi said. You snorted at his bluntness.

“You’re just pouting cus your fire didn’t work,” Toga teased, smiling at him.

“Shut up, you lu—” You pinched him before he could finish speaking. He sighed, giving you a look before continuing, “I’ve found a good potential ally, so I’m putting my time towards that. I’m not about to go out in a blaze of glory beside our leader, here. I’m looking out for myself, okay?” Dabi thought for a moment, then added, “and Y/N, too. I’m not gonna let them get killed in your quest for more power.”

You let out a huff of laughter. “Thanks, pretty boy. While I can handle myself, I’d rather help Dabi out. Sorry, Shiggy.” You gave your best friend an apologetic smile.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. It’s probably safer for you to stay with Dabi anyways.” Shigaraki brushed off your apology, then looked at Dabi. “Bring this ally, then. I’ll be waiting.”

“Perfect, Dabi! You can help me test out a high-end Nomu!!” Ujiko said frantically, his loud voice startling you again. “I know just the one! The perfect match for your… let’s say, aesthetics!! You two will get along great!!”

It was Dabi’s turn to give the doctor an incredulous look. “...did you even pay attention?”

 Shigaraki looked at Ujiko. “Well? Go on. Send us back. I’m feeling like I could take on the world right now.”

“One moment—use these to keep in touch with me!” A metal clamp extended towards you, holding a case with seven communicators in it. The doctor said something you couldn’t hear, and the telltale sign of the warp Quirk activating hit you. You gagged as the black liquid poured out of your mouth and wrapped around your body. 

When the warp finished, Shigaraki held up Father, preparing to put it back on his face. “Hey! It’s the return of the future king!” Shigaraki grinned.

Gigantomachia turned towards him with a glare. “A king… must inspire dread. Must be admired. Must be strong.”

— CURRENTLY…

“Talk about the ‘burbs. Not too small, not too big…” Spinner commented as everyone overlooked Deika City. 

You frowned from where you stood next to Dabi. “Reminds me too much of where I grew up. I hate it. I want it destroyed.” 

“Nice atmosphere around here. It ticks me off!”  

“One hour and forty minutes until our oversized friend awakens.” Compress took off his mask. “Making them clash with Machia will require that we fight as well. This will be no walk in the park, I daresay.”

“ Yeesh. Why’d you have to drag Y/N and I into this? They aren’t even a fighter.” Dabi rubbed the back of his neck in annoyance. Twice shot his measuring tape out towards him and he leaned backwards, tugging you back by your hood at the same time.

“Hey, Giran brought you into the fold too!” He shouted.

“Like I care?” Dabi drawled with a roll of his eyes. You elbowed him, muttering a quiet ‘be nice.’

“Someone’s coming!” Toga suddenly warned. Dabi stepped in front of you, igniting his palm as everyone prepared to fight.

“Not another step! I was ordered to guide you down into town!!” A hero stopped in front of them.

“A hero?! I don’t recognise this one…” Spinner made a face. You hummed in agreement.

The hero put his hands on his hips. “If you want a face-to-face with the Liberation Army’s commander… then you’d best follow me, okay?!”

You narrowed your eyes. “I don’t trust this…” you murmured. Dabi extinguished his palm and stepped back, wrapping an arm around your waist with his usual possessive grip.

“Stay next to me, mouse. Don’t leave my side, got it?” He warned quietly in your ear. 

You nodded. “I won’t. Promise.” 

Shigaraki ordered everyone else to stand down. “Fine. Lead the way.”

As you all walked after the hero, you took careful note of everything around you. It was dead quiet, absolutely nobody to be seen. A heavy unease settled on your shoulders and you pressed closer to Dabi, who kept his arm tight around your waist. His other hand was in his pocket as he kept an eye out for any sign of trouble.

“Not a soul around...” Compress commented. The unease you were feeling could be heard in his voice.

Shigaraki glanced up towards a roof, pausing when he saw someone standing up there. “This whole city, huh?”

The hero touched his thumb to his forehead with his pointer finger aimed to the sky. “This place isn’t usually my turf, but today’s a big exception!” As two figures approached them, the hero bowed and slid off.

A man with styled black hair and glasses stopped in front of them, pressing his thumb and middle finger together. “Thank you for making the trip, and welcome! This is a day of celebration, and you are the guests of honour. Shall we start the festivities?” He snapped his fingers. “This is the Metahuman Liberation Army’s revival celebration!”

As soon as he finished snapping his fingers, people jumped out from every direction.

Oh, this isn’t good. 

You stayed next to Dabi’s side as promised, despite the fact he just standing there with one hand still in his pocket and the other on your waist.

“That’s Hanabata, leader of the Hearts and Mind party!” Compress exclaimed.

Spinner jumped out of the way of an attack. “Is he some big shot?!”

“Yes! Someone who could easily have 110,000 followers!”

Oh, this really isn’t good. I’m not equipped for this kind of attack! I’m an excellent fighter, but not against this many people! Especially with my manoeuvrability issues and the fact my Quirk is for healing! You pressed yourself closer to Dabi as they watched Compress and Spinner. “Dabi,” you breathed, “I’m one hell of a good fighter, but I’m not this good. I’m gonna end up slowing you down.”

“I ain’t leavin’ you, so it doesn’t matter whether you’re gonna slow me down or not,” Dabi snapped. “Get on my back, we’ll get somewhere where there’s less of these fuckers, then you and I can figure out what the hell we’re gonna do.”

You clenched your jaw and nodded, hopping up onto Dabi’s back. He hooked his arms under your thighs, then took off to find a safer spot.

“We’ve already established that you have to stay with me. There’s clearly a lot of these guys. You have your knife.” Dabi set you down once you were both relatively in the clear. “You don’t have your cane—which is fuckin’ stupid, no offence, doll—but now you have a free hand, so it works in our favour. You’ll be able to dodge better. Just keep your eyes open—I’ll watch your back.”

“You’re sure you’re fine with keeping an extra eye on me?” You frowned.

“Doesn’t matter either way, mouse. I’m not letting you out of my sight.” Dabi’s tone made it clear he wasn’t budging.

“Okay then, that’s settled. Next move…” You walked around a bit, scanning your surroundings, then stopped. “Oh shit, is that Shigaraki over there?” You squinted in Shigaraki’s direction

Dabi shrugged. “If our dear leader’s racking up bodies, then I’m going all in too. Hanging back and taking the pacifist route was never my style, anyways.”

You snorted and turned back to him, amused. Your amusement faded to alarm when you caught something in the sky above Dabi. “Dabi, move!” 

He turned around to see what you were looking up, then jumped backwards just in time as someone came crashing into the ground. His forearms were incased in ice that formed into the shape of hands. “Ice, huh…?” 

“And a little bit more.” You pointed out the other Meta Liberation Army members behind your new opponent. “Think you can take them all out at once?”

“Who do you think you’re talking to, mouse?” Dabi smirked, then addressed the ice-user. “Ice… sure, then. I gotta warn you, I think I’ve gotten stronger. Which means I can tell, you’re tough too.”

“Y/N… the League’s healer. Disabled, so your ability to move is hindered. Is that why you’re never alone? And Dabi… those blue flames make you the League’s only wide-range attacker. But why don’t you unleash your fire straight away?” The ice around the man’s forearms crackled and extended upwards, lifting him up with it. “It’s almost like you’re waiting for something… or do you have an issue with your meta abilities?”

Dabi clicked his tongue in annoyance, though his smirk never faded. “Wouldn’t you like to know! Fine. Consider this a freebie, just for you. Ice melts.” He unleashed a blast of fire at the ice-user. You watched as it destroyed the ice pillars that the man had been using.

“Is that so? Well, that could be a problem.” The man’s voice was almost sarcastic as he fell backwards. “Since you seem to be unaware… I manipulate ice. All ice.” There was a rattling sound, then from every direction, ice began to move towards the man. “I’ve been perfecting this meta ability for a lonnng time. Longer than most heroes. So no school for me. The Grand Commander helped make me stronger.”

“Sounds like you’ve led quite a life! But kinda sad!” Dabi ignited his forearm again.

“You’d best not think your little campfire can melt my ice!”

You grinned as Dabi let off a blazing inferno, a sadistic pleasure gleaming in your eyes as the Meta Liberation Army users that had been standing on the ground screamed, then were reduced to ashes. 

“Dabi!! A little moderation, please!” Compress’s voice rang out as Dabi’s flames raged around them. 

You laughed at that. “Dabi doesn’t know moderation, Mister! Haven’t you met him?” You called back.

Dabi let off another inferno at the ice-user. He grinned as the ice melted away, ignoring the sizzling of his skin and the smoke coming away from it. “Mine’s bigger and you’re outmatched elementally. Your precious ice is almost gone.” 

You aren’t being careful enough, pretty boy. You thought as you narrowed your eyes at the evidence of Dabi’s Quirk wreaking havoc on his body. You placed your hand on his arm and activated your own Quirk, ignoring the searing pain that started to blaze underneath your skin. The burns that had been creeping down past his surgical staples healed, manifesting onto your skin instead. You disregarded the sound Dabi made when he realised what you were doing, finishing up healing the damage.

Before he could say anything, Compress’s voice cut him off. “If you are winning so easily, then lend me a hand!!” He had ended up behind the two of them, frantically dodging the attacks being hurled at him left and right.

“Why should I help?” Dabi drawled.

Compress gasped, “Are you so unfeeling?!”

“Nah, I mean, just ask them.” Dabi pointed to the side. You followed where he was pointing, and almost laughed out of shock. There was an army of Twice’s doubles swarming.

As if they were waiting to have been noticed first, all of the Doubles started talking at once. “Dabi!! Mr. Compress!! The Twices are here to save the day!!”

“What about… your trauma?!” Compress said, his voice almost drowned out by the sea of Twices. 

“Love and courage were just what the doctor ordered!” 

That’s… really sweet, actually. And also really Twice-like.

“That doesn’t clarify things, but… this feels like a heroic origin story. Though you’re still a villain.” Compress shook his head a little.

“What good villain wouldn’t wanna save his friends?! There’re so few of you, so you’re even more precious! Hah!! Hang on… am I stupid? Why don’t I double Dabi?! I’ll double you guys too! Forget “League,” we’ll have enough guys for a whole villain nation!!” Twice’s Doubles were almost rabid with excitement.

“Maybe dial it down a little bit, Twice! Remember we still need to wear Machia out!” You interjected. 

“Oh. How long until the big man wakes up?”

Compress rechecked his pocket watch. “One hour, five minutes!”

“No prob! Toga comes first, then! I’ll ask me where she’s at, and get her some hel—” The Double was cut off as the ice-user unleashed a massive wave of ice shards, destroying all of the doubles in its path. 

Dabi stepped in front of you, creating a wall of fire to protect you from the blast. “Does this town manufacture ice? Something’s fishy here…”

The ice-user refroze one of the ice shards that had melted on Dabi’s arm. “As I mentioned… I manipulate ice!”

“Ah… I see how it is.” Dabi eyed the patch of ice on his scarred arm. You peered over his shoulder to see what he was looking at.

“That includes controlling the ice’s temperature! By shooting some ice into the water supply and cooling things down, I can extend my power to that water as well.”

“Why not lead with that? So obnoxious.”

“In the future that our Liberation Army foresees… one’s rank in society will be directly tied to the strength of one’s meta ability. Elevating ones ability will be the only way to really live! Beyond that sheer strength… life has no value!” The man raised his hand up, ice exploding out of the ground—simultaneously taking out more of Twice’s Doubles while also sacrificing his comrades.

You narrowed your eyes at the ice-user. “You’re real full of yourself.”

“Sounds miserable. I’m gonna need you to die.” Dabi’s mouth curled down in a frown.

“The one who will die is you, blueflame. I can smell it from here. Your body is burning away. Keen observation of the enemy’s meta ability is fundamental, and your festering skin looks ready to slough right off… you can’t fight for long, can you?! Not when your own flames eat away at you! If it weren’t for your little friend there, your body would be reduced to char from the inside out.” The ice-user stared down at you both.

Your lips pulled back into a snarl and you stepped out from behind Dabi, glaring up at the man. “Say one more word about his Quirk, imply one more thing about him being weak, and I will gut you,” you spat, twirling your knife in your hand. Dabi placed his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it.

“Calm down, mouse. You can gut him la—” Dabi paused as the ground began to tremble. “...he’s early.”

“Good for us.” You kept your glare on the ice-user, a cruel smile replacing your snarl. “We’ve got a lovely little gift on his way to Shigaraki—who, by now, is probably with your beloved Grand Commander. He won’t stand a chance.” The ice-user seemed to panic at that and he took off before Dabi could send off any more blasts of fire. “Good fuckin’ riddance.” 

“...that icy freak. I almost managed to burn him up,” Dabi grumbled, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand. You sighed at the blood that smeared onto it.

“You really need to be more careful,” you murmured, taking his head into your hands and healing the cuts on his face. 

Dabi scowled. “You’re one to talk. Look at your skin.”

“Huh?” You looked at the backs of your hands and frowned at the burn marks that had manifested there. “Oh. They’ll heal. It happens.”

He shook his head at that, clearly still displeased. “...c’mon. Let’s get somewhere safer, mouse. We can wait until the boss lets us know what’s up.”

“Yeah. Alright.”

[diamondcitydarlin]

So I quit that job I mentioned earlier lol, I hadn't done work for this particular company since the pandemic and it became very clear, very quickly that what was already tenuous, chaotic circumstances before all that has only rapidly deteriorated further since. There was no discernable like, assigned Project Manager for this nonsense, just like four separate people making decisions behind each other's backs, over each other's heads, so the situations with everything were constantly changing and in this chaos no one bothered to communicate any of these changes with me (probably because they weren't communicating with each other) while just sort of expecting me to keep up and hit the notes that no one wanted to make clear in the first place. Like, "well why isn't this done?" "uh because idiot #3 said this script wasn't finalized, I mean not to me personally but openly in the chat to everyone" "WE CAN STILL USE THIS SCRIPT" "UHM NO WE CAN'T NOT UNTIL ITS FINALIZED SO WHEN IS THAT GOING TO HAPPEN" "IDK ASK IDIOT #2 WHO NEVER ANSWERS THEIR DMS ANYWAY" like what the actual fuck?? I was already getting so stressed out by this lack of any sense of cohesion whatsoever, but my breaking point was on Sunday when I had made it clear I wasn't going to be available and everyone was like yea yea cool that's fine (like, literally I live on land I'm responsible for upkeeping in the middle of the mountains now, if I step out of my house and into the depths of the property I am OUT OF SERVICE and I made it clear this was going to be the case MULTIPLE TIMES) and one of the bitches that's been going behind everyone's back and over their heads etc and is also some boomer lady with too much time on her hands CALLS ME FOUR TIMES BEFORE 7 AM ON SUNDAY TO ASK WHERE I AM AND WHAT I'M DOING like mam? You're not even my boss (hasn't stopped her from trying to treat me like her 20-something unpaid intern assistant though) and I made it clear multiple times that I'm not going to be available today "Well you're gonna have to be because we're very behind" AND THAT'S -MY- FAULT? THE ONE PERSON WHO HAS BEEN DOING THEIR ACTUAL JOB? I was just like yeah you know what actually I'm done with this as of today, pay me what I'm owed and don't contact me again

the worst part is that when I agreed to come on to help with this it was never communicated to me that I was going to be expected to be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (bc literally this boomer lady with no boundaries would be texting me at 10 pm on Friday for no reason bc she has nothing better to do with her life) to a group of people that don't know their mouths from their assholes and are just using this a pissing contest with each other while treating me like absolute shit and getting absolutely nothing done. It has NEVER been this bad. I also wasn't told that I'd be treated like an intern despite very much not being hired as one and well past the time in this career path where that'd be an appropriate role for me. Like, I wasn't made aware of any of this bullshit before agreeing to HELP OUT.

That's the other shitty thing, is that this was to HELP OUT a professional friend that I've done many fun and successful productions with- and where is he through all of this? Mostly not there. Mostly just not available. Not communicating with me or anyone else. I'm not speaking to him now because I really feel like he threw me to the wolves with this one despite the many MANY times in our working relationship that I had gone out on limb for him and the times he had done the same for me! Thought we were cooler than this! GUESS NOT.

I'm somewhat disappointed with myself for accepting this in the first place knowing what I do of that company's bullshit (tho in my defense as I said, it had never been quite THIS bad) but mostly I'm disappointed with myself for once again thinking I could trust someone lol like DO I NOT KNOW BETTER? AFTER ALL THIS TIME OF PEOPLE FUCKING ME OVER, TREATING ME LIKE A NON-PRIORITY? AFTER SWEARING TO NOT DO THAT TO MYSELF ANYMORE? Unbelievable that I could be so naive!

But I think anger is due at these careless type of people too, idc how useless it is, how little it's going to change anything about them. Like where does one get the gall to treat someone they barely know, who does not report to them in a subservient capacity, as though they're Miranda Priestly and I'm their little underpaid assistant? Where does one get the gumption to think it's okay to violate work hour boundaries that were made explicitly clear before being hired? In all my days working in this industry (and maybe I got lucky a million times) I have never been treated with such disrespect for my own time, especially in a situation where NO ONE has the right to be ordering anyone else around.

I don't deserve that, and honestly neither would an inexperienced 20-year old (which I am very much not). Incredible. Unbelievable that in this day and age where people are not putting up with work place bullshit that there could still be some asshole doing it anyway, violating boundary after boundary without a care in the fucking world.

Yeah well suck on this, lady, now you have to do all the work yourself because I don't need this job in the first place as I have several others that actually pay well and don't treat me like crap. Eat shit uwu

[gwynbleiddyn]

jumbos for A Certain Prince: ❌🌺

oh yeah these are a doozy

❌ What kind of things would end any relationship for them? Is there a history behind why these things bother them? Could they ever take someone back despite this? If so or if not, why?

assuming the context of the question is romantic relationships specifically, the thing that end's Mio's relationships is Mio.

if we look at this without the added caveat of his marriage and specific duties as a ??former??? prince regent:

he falls for people quickly, and often. it wouldn't be a lie to say half of talisman have been the subject of his discerning eye, whether or not he voices anything, but i think the important thing to note is that mio's not viewing any 'romantic' feelings as a meaningful anchor to tether a relationship to, but more so as a means of getting the praise and adoration he craves. if he's nice to someone, they're generally nice to him. if he can turn that up a little, and that person then reciprocates with those little honey sweet drip drops of ego-building, affirming statements, why the hell wouldn't he pursue it? and needless to say in this instance, they don't last. his concept of romantic love is a fast burning candle and once it burns out to the wick's end, it's near impossible to reignite.

so, no, Mio doesn't take people back, because he is the problem. part of him knows that. luckily for him in the past he's never had to see these people again so he hasn't had to face the consequences of his own behaviour.

right now though, with the context of his marriage, it's a little different. and i think he's just kind of avoiding the heart of the matter -- he's not necessarily available, both emotionally and physically. not in a way that matters for a long-term prospect, at least, which is likely the main reason he derailed things with Diric, with a dash of that whole 'romantic love is a fleeting fancy and i'll enjoy it until it starts to ask questions of me' vibe

now, the interesting thing here is this is only in the context of romantic relationships.

when we talk specifically about friendships (which ik the question isnt asking but it's relevant) mio is as devoted and as loyal as you like. he's selfless. he'll give his time and his presence to you as an active listener and confidant. he'll support you, verbally, physically, emotionally. whatever you need. he loves wholly and deeply in friendships, to many ends - and in some cases, to whatever end. everything you'd expect in a partner, you find in his friendship.

idk i guess when mio thinks of love as love, it becomes an obligation. a task. something he has to uphold when he's not really interested in doing so. in truth, he has no idea what a relationship should look like. he doesn't like being challenged. he doesn't like dealing with problems. he'll paper over the cracks with sweet words and gifts and "i love you"s because that's what fixes things, right?

but he doesn't think of love as an obligation to his friends, because it's just there. he doesn't name it 'love' - he just looks at them and he says i will protect you until i can't.

(and the love he has for his family literally transcends planes. he believes it will kill him, but what a sweet redemption to find at the end of all of it)

🌺 Does your OC have any tattoos or other body art? Does their body art have any specific meaning behind it? Do they have any scars? How did they get those scars? Any birthmarks?

he has his protection of the forest tattoos! like a weird little drunk party mistake except the mistake is really useful and keeps saving his ass.

stylistically speaking, they're brown, not quite black ink, and gold (ofc) and they scroll predominantly along the contour of muscle (chest, clavicle, biceps and forearm) where the enchantment felt like it would be most useful to offer protection. he asked the wood elves to utilize their preferred style, but he gave them a prayer to use as a basis for the words of protection he wanted - a prayer from Sehanine, that, until that point p much, he had been reciting to himself almost daily to cope with the grief he didn't get to really unpack. or didn't allow himself to, who knows

scars.......

there is a nasty horrible twisted motherfuck of a scar that curls up the left side of his torso. it doesn't really look like it was from a wound that you could actually survive, and Mio goes to great lengths to keep it hidden. he doesn't like to see it or acknowledge it, and the mere presence of it leaves a bit of a dent in the notion that he was made in a specific image.

perhaps the more obvious scars are the fractures and cracks that seem to be splitting all over his skin - face, neck, shoulders, hands - where it looks as though molten gold has been poured into the fissures to fuse him back together. they're warm to the touch, and oddly soothing. his aasimar heritage is struggling to be contained in his half-elven form and it's a brewing issue that Mio is, once again, turning something of a blind eye to.

his hands are covered in teeny tiny white scars too, from his work as a blacksmith!

jumbo oc questions

[calumhoodgoss]

re: arzaylea accusing the friend group of racism or whatever, just reminded me of a phenomenon that I feel like you kinda have to live to understand but as a fellow aussie you'll probably get more than most: and it's that sydneysiders are fucking bullies

and i mean like insults being the norm, in ways that comes out to look like, for example, far worse racism than what actually happens, and there's a lot of lateral racism especially coming from poc but also that weird comradery of living in the same area too. same way in which queer and neurodivergent folk i grew up with use the worst slurs against both those groups but then are also out there tryna help it get better. idk, that's just what I grew up with and my area wasn't too dissimilar demographically from where they were, working class areas with people with a lot of generational baggage all trying to interact together. and if anyone wouldn't get it it's if you grew up a poc in the usa where conversations about activism happened a lot earlier and are a lot more performative, and from a rich family. like obv we haven't really been taking seriously anything she's said in that era (which on principle I hate treating anyone this way btw, but i'm also protective of luke and sometimes it's just not the time to pick apart everyone) and sometimes it's best to just move on from it all

but in case it does come up, I know this (what I've described above) isn't really the image they put out but 7-9 years ago they were a lot fresher out of oz and you can tell by the way they used to interact with each other. and i feel like i'm always defending the boys and yes there's always gonna be areas they're not exactly role models in but i've seen far too many 'racism' allegations that pick apart wordings of things said by them and their circle rather than look at the bigger picture culturally, and how we all come from a background of racism we're trying to unlearn collectively (which I feel like aussies get rn as we scramble to understand Indigenous rights and reconciliation) and then there's also the fact that no one ever acknowledges the fact calum's half Maori and it would impact him and his experience with all things colonialism and race. and they all do care about him, they care about sierra too--rant's almost over but i just wish we had better conversations about how to actually unlearn racism together rather than just accusing each other of being racist when it's like, no one's completely innocent but the only way things are ever gonna get better is if we all do the work as part of a movement and stop picking each other apart (especially in culturally insensitive ways) and infighting. anyway. disgruntled aussie I guess. i'll get back to real life activism and leave arzaylea alone

very interesting concept. i definitely agree to a certain extent that the cultural difference between American and Australian humour could not be bigger. i feel like over here (particularlyin middle to lower class groups), there is a general understanding between friends that things we say as jokes are not our true feelings on the matter. rather, we discern whether someone respects us through their actions and tone. we very much have a culture where everyone is on the chopping block, no matter what culture or hardship you have

i can totally understand though that these are not the same underlying nuances in America. and the boys not having known that could have said or done things that caused actual harm to people. was that their intent? probably not, but the result is what matters. i have no idea how those situations were handled or how those conversations went; but the least we can expect from them is that if they said something insensitive theyd own up to it and make a conscious effort not to make the same mistake again

yes its a cultural difference for sure, but it doesnt completely absolve them

i dont know the full situation and as you mentioned, arz has been widely accepted as an unreliable source. so who knows how they truly act and what their real attitudes are, but this is an interesting take and worth mulling over for sure

[journalofsorts2]

i made a comment on a fake dhar mann sketch video on tiktok and the responses im getting are genuinely insane. okay so i have to explain the video first, it was one of those videos where they reposted a video from youtube or something with like slime cutting or mobile game underneath. and the video above was like in the style of a dhar mann sketch, but it was very obviously not dhar mann (i'll get to that in a sec). anyways the video clip is of this dude whos stuck in traffic and he's late to the courthouse and the girl in the car in front of him is flipping him off for honking at her, cause they're both stuck in traffic there's nothing either of them can do. and the girls friend finds a glass cup in the glovebox and the girl driving throws it out the window cause she's like "who cares, i don't want it anymore", the guy drives forward a bit, his tire pops. obviously he's mad, not saying he can't be mad, but he gets out of his car and starts screaming at the girl cause he's like about to lose his kids and he's stuck in traffic. and like obviously, don't do that, but like i kinda get where he's coming from, whatever, its a fake video. but then he goes on to rip her out of the car and shoot her in the head later in the video, and i'm like woah wtf. so i make a comment that says, "bros anger issues are probably why he's losing his kids", like haha whatever, i only made the comment cause no one was pointing out the obvious. anyways the part i'm concerned about is the 41 replies i've gotten to that comment, all basically saying that he was justified in resorting to murder. like what the actual fuck??? here's the word for word conversation i had with someone in the comments

them- "How is the guy wrong. She blocked him, flipped him off and popped his tire AND STILL ACTS ENTITLED" (they misspelled popped btw so i corrected it here)

me- "okay but all of that doesn't justify murder??? like a normal person doesn't resort to murder in that situation?? 🤨"

them- "You wouldn't resort to murder in that situation?"

me- "no??? wtf are you saying you would??? 🤨"

and i shit you not, they genuinely replied back with "Yes", like i genuinely wish i was making that up. other replies i got that i didn't bother replying to were, "stop trying to make an excuse 💀 you'd be mad to. he's about to lose his kids, he clearly cares a lot about. because of some girl who blocked him off," and "nah, he was calm until the wouldn't move. Girls are obviously in the wrong ☕" and, "Dude got cut off is stuck in traffic just got a tire popped and is losing his kids in 15 minutes If you think you could stay calm you are wrong" and like i genuinely can not tell if these are bait or not, because if they are that's shitty but whatever i guess, but if they aren't? what the actual hell is wrong with people that they think it's justified to shoot someone over popping your tire and flipping you off? like yeah, he can be mad and i somewhat get the screaming, but shooting her in the head?? over a tire?? like i get you're about to lose your kids but in what world is that the correct choice? in what world does that even somewhat resemble a correct choice? i don't know, i just had to get this off my chest because this is actually insane, maybe these are all just bait comments and the autism in me can't discern that. i really hope that's the case, idk man

[winemom-culture]

I don’t feel like I did a very good job articulating my thoughts. The plan initially was to hangout on Friday this week and talk about things, so I circled back with him today to see if he wanted to go to a little brewery and talk tomorrow still. He said yeah, and then a few moments later said actually he wanted to talk tonight so we did. 

Seeing as I didn’t really have time to fully put my thoughts together I kinda clunkily danced around “well, y’know, you don’t have your license and stuff...I am really committed to marriage and kids in the next few years and idk if I see that as a possibility for us...” again. He kinda read into it though and was like “so is it just a socioeconomic thing basically?” To which I was like “I mean we also have kind of fallen into a hole of doing literally nothing besides watching movies when we hangout and while I do enjoy our time together, it feels like we lost our spark... we used to do things, y’know?” And that’s when he kinda got a little defensive and was just like “well I’m always down to do things.. I know I’m not free of blame there but I guess it’s just a matter of knowing exactly what you would want to do.” Then he kinda circled back to how that’s been a little harder because he’s been broke and I finally kinda butt in like “well I’M now not working (aside from the two low-paid internships) and I’m also going to be broke, so I have to start living within my means, I’m not going to be able to continue spending the gas money, or paying for us to do these things all by myself...” Which just sort of led us to a back and forth of similar things over and over for a bit.

Then at one point he’s like, “I know I sound like I’m just saying it, but I had a plan to take my license test with this first paycheck (because he did just start a new job) and start saving up, but if this is the case, then it probably is best for us to see other people. Even if I do get my stuff together I can’t gaurantee I can give you the kind of lifestyle you want to live, if you just want somebody more established.”

He wasn’t saying that to be mean or guilt-trippy, he was just genuinely articulating that I have the right to discern whether or not I want to keep dating, just like he does. Which is the truth. But it still kinda broke me down a little bit, because idk. I’m not like a golddigger asking for him to take over and be the breadwinner for Charlie and I. I’m always going to make sure I have my own shit straight. I’m not faulting him for the things he doesn’t have. I am just trying to say “I love you but we’ve been having this conversation at least since February and every time you say you have a plan but nothing about our situation materially changes, and I don’t particuarly believe you really have the drive to change that at this point” without sounding like an asshole. 

In therapy this week we talked about it and talked a lot about how I cannot control his reactions, but more-so in the context of me being worried about hurting him. But even throughout this, his tone was like “well, it is what it is, I guess there’s just nothing that can be done.” Now I’m hurt that I’m not getting any more of a reaction beyond that honestly, even though I know, out of my control. No “yeah actually I don’t want to lose you, so I will have xyz by this time to show you I mean it.” That’s is exactly what I mean. I don’t want your money, I just want your effort. Fight for this a little bit, like I have been for the past year. I want you to show me somehow that you care about me at all besides just talk, it doesn’t have to be grandoise or constant affection, just a small gesture here and there...doing “things” doesn’t have to mean fancy dinners or going on trips, it could be as simple as going out to see our friends every few weekends to break up the monotony a little. Our little day we had at the beach was nice and completely free. This is where I feel like I didn’t get my point across at all. 

Social anxiety makes me feel like an asshole for asking for very basic things from anyone, whether it’s something abstract like respect & boundaries, or more material things. (Yes, this is what we’ve been talking through in therapy too.) He is pretty much saying “I’m not confident in my ability to give those things to you and I think it would be better to end it here than keep trying.” The conversation will just keep going around and around in circles because we’re both too awkward to just fully say what we mean.

One thing that echoed in my mind after the call is something my therapist reminded me of at our last session, that I initially called him needing therapy as soon at 2017. He was like, “do you remember what happened the first time you called me? I have the notes here, why didn’t you end up seeing me?” and I was like “I couldn’t do it financially at the time.” He said, “did you stay complacent in your situation, or did you do something to change it?” and I understood what he was getting at at this point, and I was like “yeah I worked to be able to get to this point where I can pay for it.” and he was like, “was it uncomfortable to be dealing with your OCD and anxiety all that time? Did you let that stop you from making a better situation for yourself?” Basically, a really roundabout way of making me realize that I have ambitions, goals, etc. and I do work to get to them (albeit slowly) and if someone else wants to they will. That sometimes the discomfort is the catalyst for those changes.

My therapist also said I could suggest that if he can get some of these things together he could come back to me and we could reevaluate the situation, but not promise him that I would wait around. After talking to him tonight, it didn’t even feel worthwhile to do that because he just basically said he wasn’t willing outright. I guess that’s what hurts more than anything. I’m just really tired of begging for people to care.

We are still going to meetup tomorrow to talk, we agreed on that before we hung up the phone. I messaged him later and said we didn’t have to if he doesn’t want to, because I got the vibe on the phone he just wanted to end it there pretty much. He said he does want to meet, and he also feels like he didn’t really articulate all his thoughts clearly. I guess we’ll see what happens. It seems pretty clear that this is for real now, though. 

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Tues 6 Apr ‘21

In this day and age, even real journalists are struggling with what it means to report news when facts can so easily be falsified and truth is so slippery-- how much more so your humble fandom chronicler, with no access whatsoever to the players in our stories! Fandom in general is nothing but grasping at shadows on the Walls(tm) and trying to make sense of it all without ever being allowed to see the real events, and being very aware that not only that, everyone involved in telling the stories is actively trying to mislead us, usually in multiple wildly different directions (truly unfortunate for a fandom more terrified of uncertainty than any group of people I’ve ever come across). Add in technology that makes it near impossible to discern the real from the fake and well… you start to understand the appeal of NFTs I guess! Given a truly verifiable DM screenshot someone could probably get a good bidding war going am I right?! I personally would pay good money for yall to start blockchain verifying your damn receipts (HOW sad am I that this isn’t really how NFTs work, imagine if they were actually so useful!)

Luckily, in fact things pretty much always turn out to be way simpler than fandom makes them, and usually it’s possible to get to what’s most likely the truth eventually. In this case: that Louis DMed Jedward! (In almost every other case, of course, it’s that things have been faked, screen recording or no, so this is the exception to the rule.) Anyway today saw some dramatic debunking of a DM from Louis, but then that debunking was (less dramatically) itself debunked, meaning if you’re just coming on board now you’re WINNING cause the whole middle part could be totally skipped and we are now back to the beginning and all of that can be ignored. And thank god, trying to understand it as fake when it seemed (to me) so obviously real was doing my head in (see tortured opening monologue.) So, the series of events goes like so: Jedward got up early this morning and continued to tweet about the industry and Syco and 1D, growing increasingly hysterical (“Justice is gonna be served!”, “You can’t silence the truth! Nobody can drag me down!”...uhhh that’s a lot for 6 AM damn) and then, boom, dropped a pic of a DM... from Louis!! In it he writes (the night before) “you guys have lost the plot hahahahaha you must be high”, lolll. Why would they make up him saying that, why would a faked message not be like “yeah right on” or something?! I mean, is he wrong-- what ARE they doing?? ARE they high? What is their endgame, other than getting attention to promote their new music, in talking so much about 1D and Little Mix? Louis is, as usual, asking the real questions, and more importantly, without actually giving anything away or committing to anything. Additionally I wondered if he may have wanted to sort of disrupt the narrative that he unfollowed them because he supported their message and wanted more people to see it (which you have to admit is a, uh, counter-intuitive conclusion and not remotely the most obvious way to interpret an unfollow); he may in fact wish people would shut up about his business and let him handle it himself as he sees fit, as he’s indicated many times in the past in similar situations.

Some people are enthused about Jedward’s crusade though, and happy to speak publicly about it- Nicholas Liddle chimes in about some of their points to say “from a journalist AND publicist standpoint I can confirm this”, plus “Louis Tomlinson is one of the most sweetest, genuine, unproblematic artists...take it for what you will,” and “stream Walls,” aw. Singer Lily Allen congratulates Jedward on “being iconic” and says yes, she agrees with what they’re saying.

AND there are actual OTHER THINGS GOING ON: Liam for example!! He’s got a beautiful bushy mane of lion locks and he’s tweeting about NFTs, are he and Louis twinning or what?! Liam actually let a pap get a glimpse of him though, unlike SOOOME Louis’- he was photographed in a parking garage looking like he really wished he had a jacket. According to the pap captions he was outside a TV studio in London and “gearing up for his BAFTAS performance”. Well idk about all that but I do know that he was looking good! Additionally he posted “I’ve had my eye on NFTs for a minute now and love this new piece” and goes on to promote some animated digital art featuring his old collab buddy Zedd, and to say that he’s gotten a few pieces by the artist and “can’t wait to get more!” He shares a still from one that he bought from the same people (who have been doing tour visuals for years apparently).

And Niall’s back with the aesthetic pics! We got scenery, we got a studio pic, we got scrumptious desserts and stylish selfies and we got a PUPPY, hell yeah! Hitting ALL the insta bases there (well, he could show a little titty…? but other than that…) Oh yeah and did I mention-- tiny song snippets!! Nice. What’s he working up to I wonder? Something is coming I bet you!!

[itsclydebitches]

re: that ask you posted a couple days ago about the male and female representation in RWBY, part of what makes RWBY's whole 'girl power' thing ring exceptionally hollow to me is the fact that there are like... no women in positions of real power in remnant. like at all. except the big bad.

winter is second in command to james. glynda is second in command to ozpin. all of the headmasters are men (for no discernible reason, imo; why theodore and not dorothea?). the leader of the ace ops was a white man (and then winter seemed to take over clover's position instead of either of the women of color on the team, and she was still second to james). RWBY is an all girl team, but JNPR was led by a boy despite a girl arguably being far more qualified (pyrrha). the happy huntresses are all women, and robyn had no real power to speak of--she didn't even manage to win the election, because jacques rigged it, and then the council ceased to matter. there was one (1) woman on the council, but she was so inconsequential that i can't even remember her name. (i suppose we're lucky it was the guy and not her who james shot lol) jacques controls the SDC instead of willow, even though he's not even a schnee by blood and actually married into the family for power. (and we don't even know how he got it over his wife.)

and then there's the white fang, which ghira led and not kali--and it's ghira who leads menagerie itself, while kali seems to be a housewife. sienna had five minutes of screentime before being brutally killed and her position assumed by adam, a man. cordovin is basically a one off lackey we haven't even thought about before or since. neo was second to roman. you have cinder, sure, who is a second but to salem, a woman, and raven as the leader of the branwen tribe--but what does it really say about your 'girl power' narrative when the only women with genuine systemic power in your world are villains or antagonists with massive bodycounts??

atla has the same sort of problem--a couple great female characters, but all the leadership positions are men (except the kyoshi warriors, an all girls group, and even then the leader of their island is an old man) and the one female mentor figure also turns out to be evil--but it at least has some great writing to help overlook that fact, and it came out in the mid-00's and so has some sort of excuse of being a product of its time. but rwby didn't even start until 2013 and it's still going and still making these kinds of decisions well into 2021.

where is this supposed girl power, exactly? am i really supposed to overlook the very patriarchal worldbuilding just because the title characters are girls?

That's an excellent summary of the situation, anon, and as with so much in RWBY, it comes down to the full context. Any one of these examples isn't necessarily going to mean much on its own. It's when you look at the pattern that you can start making a case for those conclusions: Why is the show marketed on "girl power" set in a world where men hold the vast majority of that power? And, more importantly, why is that setup not the point? We could easily have a story where that lopsided gender dynamic is the problem that the girls are looking to fix, but... that story doesn't exist. Like the problems discussed with Jaune, the supposed point here exists only on the surface. Dig just the tinniest bit — the above — and you hit on a lot of structural problems with this "girl power" world.

To add just a few details to what you've already said:

Salem indeed has power, but she's never allowed to fully use it. Each volume the frustration with this grows as Salem accumulates more abilities and then just sits on them. From literally hiding out for a thousand years to worries that she won't use the Staff in Volumes 9-10, Salem really isn't allowed to be the threat she's presented as on the surface. And yes, this is absolutely due in part to the "She's too OP and the writers don't know how to let her be that powerful while still having the heroes win" issue, but again, context. That problem doesn't exclude others occurring simultaneously.

Same double explanation with Summer. Yes, dead moms are an incredibly common trauma to dump on a protagonist, but it still left Yang and Ruby with Tai as their primary influence. And Qrow. The uncle becomes the extended family influence while Raven is the absent one/eventual antagonist. It's personal power as opposed to political power, but Tai, Qrow, Ozpin, formerly James... most of the mentors are men. Maria, a key exception, has been ignored in that regard. The story announced that she was Qrow's inspiration, setup her being Ruby's new mentor, and then... nothing. Nothing has come of that. She disappeared for a volume and then went off to Amity and was literally forgotten by the story when evacuating everyone was the finale's whole point.

Like that Endgame moment I mentioned, the Happy Huntresses feel a little too forced to me. Yes, it's the same basic idea as in ATLA, but ATLA, as you say, has a lot more going for it. The Happy Huntresses feel... on the nose? Idk exactly how to explain it. Like, "Here they are! Another team of all women! Isn't this how progressive storytelling works? Just ignore how this is a one-off team of minor characters compared to the world building issues discussed above." And if you're not paying attention, you miss just how insignificant they are, with a side of Robyn being, well, Robyn. The Kyoshi Warriors, at least, are based off of Kyoshi. A woman avatar who is a significant part of their history. That is, presumably, why they're an all women warrior group (but who notably still teach Sokka). The Happy Huntresses are all huntresses because...? There's no reason except that meta "We want to look progressive" explanation. Just like having all the women superheroes team up for a hot second so people get excited and ignore the representation problems across, what? 21 films? Don't get me wrong, I love that May is among the Happy Huntresses. I think including her in the explicitly all-women group was one of the better things RWBY has done in a long time, but the rest is still a mess.

RWBY is arguably about these smaller groups as opposed to systematic power (despite the writers trying to work that in with things like the White Fang and the election. Not to mention the implication that everything in Atlas is fine now that evil Ironwood has died and taken the symbol of wealth (the city) with him. We saw a human holding hands with a faunus after all. Racism and corruption solved, I guess.) So yes, our group is dominated by women... but Whitley is the one saving Nora, helping to defeat the Hound (plus Willow), thinking of the airships, and providing the blueprints they need to escape. Salem is our Big Bad, except Ironwood is the one the volume focuses on. Ruby is our leader, but Jaune is the one leading the group into the whale and getting praised for how heroic he is. Ren does more to shake things up, even if he's painted as the one in the wrong. Oscar gets to confront Salem and destroys the whale threat. Ozpin provides the information they need to evacuate. Meanwhile, when the girls do things in Volume 8 it's almost always followed by a long-stint of passiveness. Nora opens the door so she can be unconscious for most of the volume. Penny keeps Amity up so she can also be unconscious for a good chunk of time. Ruby sends her message and then sits in a mansion. Blake fights so she can tearfully beg Ruby to save her. Weiss, as said, takes a backseat to Whitley (and Klein). They forward the plot, absolutely, but comparatively it doesn't feel like enough.

It's that pattern then, no one specific example. More and more the personal power, not just the systematic power already built into Remnant, seems to be coming from the men. Not all the time, but enough that scenes like the tea drinking moment feel like a part of a much larger problem. Pietro taking control, Watts hacking, and Ambrosius literally remaking her when Penny is supposed to already be in control of herself and her fate. Winter being presented as the active mentor to Weiss, only to turn around and claim that Ironwood was actually responsible for everything. Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and May straight up commenting on how awful things are out there while Yang, Jaune, Ren, and Oscar lead the charge against Salem — with the latter three doing the most to forward that mission (no fear, semblance, cane). As others have only half-joked, Yang's supposedly badass moment was bringing up a mother she's ignored for six volumes and briefly blowing up the immortal woman for a couple of seconds (with Ironwood's bombs). Even Marrow is arguably the most significant Ace Op after Clover. Vine isn't actually a character, Elm slightly less so, Harriet is there to go crazy and try to drop a bomb (notably before admitting to never-before-existed feelings for Clover), but Marrow? He's the one who breaks out. Who is meant to heroically stand up against Ironwood. Who comments on how awful it is that teenagers are fighting and, regardless of how messed up the moral messages are, is supposedly pushing for active change while all the women in his group, including Winter, insist on maintaining the status quo. Look at all these choices as a whole, it makes throwaway worldbuilding choices like "All the Maidens are women" feel pretty hollow. Why does it matter if Amber is a Maiden if she dies in a flashback so Ozpin can struggle to pass on the power? If Pyrrha dies before becoming one so Jaune can angst about it? If Raven is one and then disappears from the story entirely? If Winter has enough power to break Ironwood's aura, but supposedly had no power throughout every other choice she made getting here? If Penny is one, but is continually controlled by men and then asks another man to help her die? It's just really unconvincing, once you look past the surface excitement of a woman looking cool with magic powers.

When you do consider the whole of the story — both in terms of our world building and who is forwarding the plot in the latter volumes, getting the emotional focus, being proactive, etc. — there are a lot of problems that undermine the presumed message RT wants to write. They say, "girl power" by marketing RWBY with these four women, but too many of the storytelling decisions thoroughly undermine that, revealing what's likely a deeply ingrained, subconscious bias.

[ask-the-reaper-conspiracy]

to mod: a funky thought has manifested. if the conspirators had their own games (Klint van Zieks: Investigations and the like), what would their unique mechanics/abilities be? bc AA protagonists are contractually obligated to have them I guess

dgkdfgksfdk, I think I struggled with this one for a bit. I've never had to design gameplay aaaa ;w;

Stronghart - idk man all I can imagine with Stronghart is that everything he does in his POV game has time limits, like he's always got to be aware of what time it is and how much he has left. It's less a super power/game mechanic and more a........ difficulty mode.

Klint - Klint's superpower has to do with Balmung. I think what I heard is that Balmung is a sighthound, which as the name implies has very keen vision which allows them to quickly detect movement. That could be something Klint uses when catching witnesses or potential suspects? like he's so in tune with his dog he can catch on to whatever Balmung is looking at. otherwise I see him and Barok doing a variant of Logic Chess which I don't know much about yet I haven't played investigations

Dr. Wilson - Let's say he has an ability to diagnose things.... like being able to discern cause of death from looking quickly over the body, or maybe he can identify if someone's currently sick. In this case this is less a superpower and more just a game mechanic caused by years of medical training, but still

Gregson - Gregson has great 3 dimensional thinking skills, whynaut. As an inspector, a game mechanic I think would be fun and which I've seen before in the Batman Arkham games is him being able to recreate a crime scene in his head using the clues he finds in an area. He would also employ this as a reaper handler by arranging assassination scenarios for Jezaille to follow out.

Sithe - uhhh uhhhh as a coroner perhaps her power would be similar to Wilson's for diagnosing people and bodies.... given her role in the game, I think her mechanics would revolve around using forensic techniques to determine things about the body, rather than eyeballing it as he does. I guess she'd resemble Ema in Apollo Justice, in that way.

Jigoku - I think some kind of judge power might be cool, like Jigoku's people skills allow him to evaluate people in front of them by their confidence level. By detecting what testimony/claims they are not confident about, he can completely dismiss their arguments and come out on top in a debate. Mostly based on the judge penalizing you in the game.

Brett - Brett I can only imagine would have a power related to combat, or otherwise successfully killing someone. So maybe she can anticipate someone's next move and use this foreknowledge to act accordingly. Like, a Ghost-trick esque sequence where you have to make specific things happen for her plan to go off without a hitch, or a slowed down sequence wherein the other character's next actions are telegraphed to the player and you have a limited range of actions to choose from for Jezaille to respond with.

[whatisalifeihaveablog]

Time for Word of Honor episode 2 (part 1)!!

-I know opening credit-type sequences tend to have minor and sometimes major spoilers so I haven't payed much attention to what happens on the screen during the song, just vibing to the music and I still like this song

-The whip is clearly cgi when she's swinging it and look as an untamed fan I am not going to knock the show for bad cgi, it could be worse for sure, but man the absolute lack of any power whatsoever behind this whip is hilarious lmao

-THE SHADE OH MY GOD like scolding her for making a scene is understandable but my dude you're coming for her life

-This dude really just sees a man who looks poor and is like "that one is probably bad". Take a note from your young master and don't judge a book by its cover, we love someone who wants to help those in need

-"He was as silly as him too" It's!!!!! Not!!!!! Silly!!!!!! To be a generous person who wants to see the best in others!!!!!

-Fake face has pretty boy intrigued now too! Let me in your brain pretty boy, I want to understand what you're thinking bc you seem to have been having Thoughts™ this whole time

-This fight with the song playing is like a dance and is really quite beautiful, good job choreographers!

-Also one of my favorite things about shows/movies with martial arts is when they do really extra shit like doing an ENTIRE flip to dodge a thing instead of like...ducking. Idk maybe the extra energy is worth it to keep the momentum going?

-There's a whole ass tracking device in this man's fan I swear

-Ngl pretty obsessed with him rn. The confidence, the audacity, the announcing yourself by attacking (confirming what he was thinking earlier?), the blatant hidden motives and the response like it's ridiculous to question why he's here I'm loving all of it

-I didn't mention in the first episode but his robes are phenomenal and I dig this whole aesthetic really. I'm also curious if moving forward this glazed amour is going to be actually significant or more of a macguffin along the lines of the yin iron in the untamed which just served as a motivator to move the plot forward

-Whether it's a macguffin or a thing with real significance is almost unimportant to me, as the driving thing that gets me into shows is characters and their relationships and development but I am curious nonetheless.

-Also they're looking Zhou Zi Shu but unfortunately for them he is fake face now which they reminded you by cutting right back to him after they mentioned that in case you forgot I guess

-I made fun of the effects with the whip earlier so it's only fair to point out that the effect with his veins here is really cool though you can't really tell with just a screenshot

-Aww and now we get a look into his morality and proof that the young master from earlier was at least somewhat correct in his judgement of fake face as "righteous" as he notices the trapped sparrow and deems saving people more important. I won't make total character judgments only 2 episodes in though

-I have also somehow neglected to mention that these guys look DOPE and I like them a lot

-This dramatic bitch is still my favorite so far though THE SMILE HE GIVES like "yeah I'm suddenly here for no discernible reason you know about what about it?"

Part 2 will probably be shorter bc I didn't realize I was more than halfway through the episode lmao