#I haven't had any experiences with the autistic community as I haven't been in it

[dr-spectre]

Guys, i wanna preach something to y'all.

If you really love a character and if they are really important to you, but you feel like a large majority of fans treat them poorly and they mischaracterise them. Don't be scared to talk about it.

PLEASE!

This is not even focused on Splatoon, no, this is just in general. If you genuinely love a character so much and they are treated in a way where you feel like it doesn't represent the character's true personality, events, arcs, etc, then speak up about it. Make a post on any social media platform or forum. Speak your peace, share your evidence, do what you can to say "hey guys. I think you should all take a second look at this character i really like! They have some cool stuff about them that not a lot of people talk about!"

I think a really great example of a character who's been really mischaracterised is Deadpool. In the comics he's a sad clown sort of guy where he hides his pain, suicidality and depression behind jokes and 4th wall breaks. He's a bad dude who tries his hardest to be a good person, but he fails over and over again and he doesn't believe he can ever be loved or respected. He's funny but he also has depth and layers which is so important to create an everlasting character. Or at least that's what I've heard he's like from comic fans. I haven't read the comics but i plan on to some day because I'm fascinated by his depth and i wanna experience that.

However in his first major solo appearance, which was the game, he was treated as only a loud mouth jokester who sees every woman he comes across as "awooga! boobies and ass!!!!" and all the depth and nuance is gone. Even though they had a comic writer who worked on Deadpool comics for years, he didn't fucking ATTEMPT to give the character any form of intrigue. Just... nothing. Only memes and pop culture references that'll become dated in 5 years.

And a lot of people think that's just who Deadpool is... That's how so many people got introduced to this character which caused misinformation to spread about him for so long... And that fucking sucks dude.

Thankfully the movies have some form of an emotional center with Wade and Vanessa's relationship and they give the character... SOMETHING!!!!! At least the comic fans seem to be pretty okay with movie Deadpool from my knowledge, which is good.

ANYWAYS! BACK TO SPLATOON!

Do you guys remember when Pearl and Marina used to be treated like this? Pearl as some big forehead joke of a character, while Marina was some bimbo with huge honkers and a giant waist.

Oh yeah, this was how they were treated for years. I remember it man, i fucking remember it all. I was there. Sorry to tell the new fans who joined from Splatoon 3. Even after Octo Expansion gave them detailed backstories and further explored their personalities, they were still mischaracterised as flanderised jokes and nothing more in the community.

But after people took the time to get to know these two, after people spent 7 years with them and discussed the interesting things about them online, they are now portrayed significantly better than how they used to be treated in the community and are celebrated as some of the best characters in the franchise. As they fucking deserve to be treated. Fans don't treat them as jokes anymore, casuals don't make tired old jokes anymore. Everyone loves these two now and for the right reasons.

And all it took was a small section of people to praise their best attributes and eventually overshadow the misinformation about them. Pearl is celebrated because she is genuinely a great character with a heart of gold and a want to care for the people around her. To make every day chaotic and to have fun with her CANONICAL GIRLFRIEND!

Marina is celebrated as a character who autistic people can look up to and find comfort in. AND THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME!!! AND IT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENED! If no one bothered to look deeper at her character then maybe many peoples lives could have never been changed for the better... Isn't that crazy to think about?

If you can change one person's perspective on a character you love, and they feel that energy and they wanna help you share that energy with more people, then i think you've done something truly amazing. Eventually that shit is gonna spread further and further AND FURTHER!!!!!!

Remember when Shiver and Frye were treated as jokes similar to Pearl and Marina at the start of Splatoon 3? Frye with her big forehead jokes and people calling her ugly due to... well... i'm gonna make some wild accusations here but... there might be an undertone of racism when people call Frye ugly... like... i'm just saying... I'm scared of what these people think about Indian women in the real world... What views they share about them... Frye is inspired by Indian culture and by proxy, Indian women. I'm just saying...

And, of course, fans gooning over Shiver because god forbid a woman exposes her midriff and has curvy hips... ugh...

BUT THANKFULLY IT'S CHANGED NOW! Lots of people see Shiver as a silly yet fun character who has the potential for depth down the line, which people are excited to see. People adore Frye and love her personality and her family.

There are people out there who say that Frye is actually cute and beautiful, AND YOU KNOW WHAT!?? I FUCKING AGREE! If people didn't share their love and takes on Frye then maybe she wouldn't become my favourite Deep Cut member.

Now... To tie it all back to me, I'm seeing this change in perspective for a character.... with Callie Cuttlefish.

During the years 2017 to 2022, Callie was always mischaracterised as some airheaded idiot who ended up getting herself "kidnapped" and "brainwashed" and had to be saved as she was some stupid helpless victim. This was seen in official material and fan comics too. I remember it man, i really do. Hell it STILL happens till this day. That fucking summer 2024 Nintendo magazine? Jesus christ dude...

But now? That perspective is changing... Sure not everyone is gonna fully agree and there probably isn't gonna be massive change in official media, social media such as YouTube and twitter, and of course wikis. Not everyone is gonna know about what Callie is truly like and what she has truly gone through. But....

That's okay.

I really don't wanna come across as some sort of gatekeeping fan, i really hate those kinds of """fans""" so much. I just wanna educate and share my love for a comfort character of mine. Eventually the perspective shared by me and others will be spread to other social media platforms and many more people. Because that's how the internet works baby!!!!

The perspective that Callie was just a girl suffering from fame and loneliness, a girl who wanted an escape from it all, a girl who went under hypnosis to numb her pain and stay in the corruptive darkness she built up for so long, a girl who wanted to help her enemies rather than stay in her current life with a cousin who isn't there for her anymore... A girl who didn't need to be saved, but a girl who needed to be reminded of the good memories she had with her cousin, to remember what she truly stood for and the love she wants to share with everyone via music... A girl who just needed... a fresh start....

She was never kidnapped despite what official sources say... She was never brainwashed despite what they tell you... Callie had agency... Callie was suffering... Just in a more nuanced and fascinating way.

that perspective... is spreading and... I'm so happy about it...

Anyways, that's all i have for you guys. Please share your love for a character with others, share your unique perspectives to the world, you have a voice, USE IT! I DON'T CARE IF IT'LL REACH TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE! ONE THOUSAND! A HUNDRED! ONE PERSON! DON'T FUCKING MATTER!

USE YOUR VOICE! PLEASEEEE!!!!!!!!

[genderkoolaid]

i haven't really been able to figure out yet if i'm aro in some kind of way. i feel like i'm "romance-repulsed" but i'm not relationship-repulsed? i like being in a relationship if it's basically best friends. and maybe there's a commitment there. and sex? but Romance i don't want any part of. is committed relationship = romance? i don't actually know. maybe i'm just autistic lol.

i know you can "do romance" in all kinds of ways but a lot of what is designated as Romantic or Romance i don't want any part of and it kind of makes me want to shrivel up. i've had people tell me this isn't aro and others who tell me it is.

Being romance-repulsed but still wanting some kind of relationship is totally normal! I'm pretty much the exact same way.

Aside from the general difficulties of figuring out whether or not you don't feel something, romance is highly culturally defined. And, on top of that, alloros tend to get VERY uncomfortable when you start talking about being aro, especially if you also feel sexual attraction. And this results in them allo-splaining to you how every feeling you have is actually secretly romance and aromanticism basically doesn't exist.

If you feel uncomfortable or annoyed with a certain thing because of its assocation with romance, that's a sign of romance repulsion. For me, I realized that my personal distaste for certain fanfiction tropes was because they were so extremely, undeniably romantic, and I felt it was unrealistic and intrusive. But I also like kissing and hand-holding and dates, as long as I know the other person knows it's not romantic. Romance repulsion looks different for everyone.

If the term "aromantic" helps you understand yourself, and connect with a community you find affirming, then you can call yourself aro/arospec. Even if your aromanticism is influenced by other things, like neurodivergence. "Doing things seen as romantic makes me want to shrivel up even though I still enjoy relationships" is a very aro experience.

[funnywormz]

I think this shitshow with Toshiro stems from the trend of people INSISTING that interpersonal conflict must be a moral failing. Like I think there's something to be said about how people afford so much less patience to people who are autistic in the "wrong" ways, but also Laios and Toshiro just clash on a fundamental level that has nothing to do with that. Hell, you could read Toshiro as autistic as well. People related to Laios' side of the argument but instead of getting any nuance out of it they started projecting their experiences with ableist people onto Toshiro.

AGREE AGREE AGREE. i think that Fandom Brain gets people very used to thinking of conflicts in terms of "who is the bad guy and who is the good guy", so when they encounter a more nuanced conflict they don't really know what to do. i don't think toshiro is a bad person at all, in his conflict with laios he's just exhausted and starving and has been pushed to the limit and from his perspective, laios doesn't even seem that emotionally affected by the situation. i don't think what he said was right and it was pretty cruel, but i don't think he's a villain or deserves to be permanently hated as a character just bc he fucked up this time lol

also yeah you could definitely read him as autistic, and i think that highlights an issue in the autistic community in general bc like....... a lot of autistic people have conflicting needs which can lead to conflict between them/make them unable to stand being around each other. and it's not because either of them are neurotypical or bad people, they're just incompatible. like autistic people who loudly stim vocally and autistic people who meltdown when they have to be around loud noises, for example. it doesn't mean either of them is bad or not autistic, just that they have conflicting needs

i 100% agree with the last part too. i disliked toshiro at first myself bc i had been (and still do ngl) projecting onto laios hard and the conflict they had reminded me of times when people have been mean or angry at me irl for social blunders i've made unintentionally, or when someone i thought liked me/was my friend turned out to actually hate me. it's a common experience for autistic people and that scene resonates with that! but i think it also helps to take a step back from projecting our own traumatic experiences onto the scene and just look at it objectively. laios isn't perfect either and he's the one who actually starts the physical fight by slapping toshiro (i feel like i don't see many people mention this lol). i feel super bad for him in that scene but he's not a perfect victim and has done things wrong himself too

as an autistic person i've also been in situations where i can relate to toshiro too lol, like where someone is overly physically and emotionally familiar with me when we don't know each other well and i've wanted them to back off but haven't been sure how to say it without hurting their feelings. this kind of conflict is far from just being a "neurotypical vs neurodivergent" thing as a lot of people portray it in the fandom

idk i just wish people would think a little more deeply about the scene and put their own emotions and experiences aside to instead consider the conflict with the added context of the individual characters and their respective cultures + the situation they're in. people don't have to like toshiro but i wish they wouldn't paint him as a villain or make up awful shit about him just to justify their feelings when he isn't even that bad of a dude in canon yknow 😑. also we literally see him at rock bottom struggling and freaking out and i think that's important to remember. in a different context i doubt he would have ever said those things to laios

[skele-bunny]

I seen you share this post and I know you're comfortable writing these things, so I was wondering if we could have little snippets or maybe a fic elaborating on when you wrote about Dew punching someone for fat shaming Aether? Thanks!! https://www.tumblr.com/skele-bunny/759611991374643200?source=share

Word! Also you're right wjsjdj I don't mind writing these things at all. I'm perfectly fine with getting requests to tackle heavier topics 💪 context: this post by @mutt-sys

CW - FATPHOBIA, RACISM, PARENTAL DISCRIMINATION, ABLEISM, VICTIM BLAMING, TRANSPHOBIA, ACEPHOBIA

Cowbell has experienced acephobia before. Ghouls are sexual driven creatures, there's no way a ghoul is asexual! She's had to deal with crude remarks, "You just haven't met the right person!" // "It's just a phase you'll grow out of." , which also meant unwanted advances. Sometimes it gets to the point she thinks she's broken. That something really is wrong with him.

A multitude of both ghouls and siblings have had to work around ableism. Zephyr simply being denied into places like the bathhouse, outings with their pack as they simple didn't have wheelchair accessibility. Delta being denied accessibility services because he wasn't "blind enough." Pebble fighting for MONTHS to get his hearing aids. Phantom not being accommodated as "We've seen autistic people before. You don't act like that." or just "You? I would've never guessed! You don't look autistic!"

And yeah! Just like in that little hc post, Aether, Cumulus, Omega, Alpha, Ifrit, basically any bigger ghoul has absolutely received fatphobia on a daily basis wether it's subtle or outright. Getting grimaces, especially if they work in the hospital. Bc they're deemed "unhealthy" so why should they work in a "healthy" setting? Omega getting an annoyed sighs from the wardrobe siblings "Guess we need another size up..." Cumulus being deemed unattractive because of her weight, her height, basically anything about her was unattractive. Unlovable.

Even Terzo faced discrimination. Constantly misgendered and deadnamed even after being publicly out, always feeling his face warm up and heart stop as he's deadnamed in front of someone who only knew him as Terzo. But forced to bare it and grin as if he even tries standing up for himself he's "Sensitive" or "Over reacting" and given just annoyed sighs and eye rolls. Sunshine and Cirrus getting scoffed at and slurs thrown at them for entering women's sections of say the bathhouse or changing room at the gym. Constantly being reported (that doesn't go anywhere) but passively aggressively suggested to use the gender neutral rooms instead, which just makes them more upset.

Mist experiencing discrimination with her kits! One of them starts fussing and annoyed whispers of "I wish there were child free places"//"Does that baby have to be here?"//"Great, just what I wanted. A screaming kit." At first he was able to stand up for himself and curse them out but after so many times... It's hard to not let it get to you. Just softly crying and getting frustrated at not only himself but her kits :/. Unable to go back to work as they don't want someone "wrapped up with kits who's unreliable."

(Based on my own and my partners experiences.*)

Ghouls facing issues as they're learning a new language, just broken and choppy but doing their best to try and communicate. Always gets those fake smiles as they turn to a ghoul that been around longer "Could you translate for them?" Or even speaking to them like a child. "What is YOURRR naammee?" Just outright ignored if they try to get someone's attention bc that person doesn't want to 'struggle' with trying to understand even tho they're not even attempting.

Swiss having to learn to do his own hair and more styles as the stylists didn't know how to even work with his hair type. They just shaved it and he was MORTIFIED. Always labeled as aggressive by passer-byers and being followed around in stores while Dew is left alone and even approached with friendly service. Being stopped twice and accused of shoplifting and trying to defend himself only to, once again, be marked as aggressive and hostile.

Dew terrified to come out about anything he experienced bc he's heard the whispers about other people coming out. "Well what did she do to deserve it?"//"He must've led her on."//"That's what happens when you drink!" So he just stays quiet and never speaks up about anything, just forced to deal with it on his own even after he confided in Aether and Mountain as he's scared they think that of him.

Shit SUCKS. While there have been improvements through the years, unions, changes made with each Papa, it doesn't always stop it. Unfortunately, discrimination will always be around. 🫠

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friend I thought he was autistic and making him cry?

I (25F) have been casual friends with "M" (25M) for several years. We're not super close friends (or at least, I'm not super close to him, I suspect he is more emotionally invested in our friendship than me. Also, according to several classmates back in college, he had a crush on me. Idk, but seems possible based on his actions. I'm gay and now have a gf, he's always been very chill and respectful about any feelings he may or may not have). Honestly, our interests, energy levels, and socializing preferences are not super compatible, but he's a good person, and we've stayed in touch after college, occasionally meeting up every few months for a hike.

For the last 5 years, I assumed he was autistic. I am also autistic (got diagnosed in my teens) and noticed a ton of autistic/neurodivergent traits as soon as I met M. TBH that's one of the big reasons we became and stayed friends, we may not be 100% compatible as friends/people but neither of us have to climb over all the neurotypical social rules and stigmas just to hang out. I've talked about my experiences with autism with him, in a commiserating/companion-type way, and we both talked about our very different childhood experiences with speech therapy and special ed.

Anyways, I had casually told my gf and mom that M's autistic (my mom got diagnosed with autism a few years ago, after I did, and my gf recently got diagnosed after both of us recognized she had similar autistic traits as me). M visited me 2 or 3 months ago and we went hiking, like usual. Afterwards, we were hanging out at my house (I live with my parents, my job's close and there's few apartments here) and M was talking about how he got fired from his job a few months ago, and was having trouble finding a new job. He was about to leave, and I left for a few min. When I came back my mom was telling M about how he should talk with HR at any future job about his autism because he was probably fired in large part due to ableism (I agree ableism played a role in his firing, probably because his bosses were shit at actually communicating and assumed everyone were mind readers). M was pretty obviously uncomfortable, and my mom is not tactful or very sensitive, so I intervened and we left.

The two of us talked for a few min. It turned out that he is Not Autistic (or at least, not diagnosed). I told him the reason my mom thought he was autistic is because I assumed he was and told her. It turns out that he has a lot of shame and negative emotions about his time in speech therapy and special ed as a kid (he had always talked about it as though they were annoying, sometime unnecessary, sometimes helpful, so I didn't know this) and some internalized ableism directed at himself. I mostly talked about my experiences with autism and getting diagnosed, and emphasized that, although I thought he had autism/neurodivergence, I'm not an expert and not trying to tell him what he is, and also that autism (especially for me) is not a bad thing. It was awkward and uncomfy for both of us, and by the end M was visibly very upset. I apologized and let him go. Before he shut the garage door I heard him start to sob. A few hours later (he lives about 2 hrs away) I texted him to apologize and reiterate what I had said earlier. He said it was ok, but idk. We've texted some, and called once since this, but haven't seen each other yet.

You may judge me on any or all of the following (potential) dick moves:

assuming M was autistic without him actually telling me

telling 2 other people he was autistic without his permission or telling him

allowing mom to bring up a sensitive subject like this

how I handled the situation afterwards, including telling M I think he's autistic and talking about myself

any other asshole thing you may ID from this story

What are these acronyms?

[compassionatereminders]

hi this is just a vent because i cant stop feeling bad about certain things its pretty disjointed. feel free to ignore. thank you for the space for this and the patience and kindness you consistently show. it feels isolating in disabled communities sometimes as someone who was medically neglected and falls into the margins of certain diagnoses and is still undiagnosed for autism and never received any official help, it was all off the books type stuff or i simply suffered/failed in silence. i feel like im not "anything" enough to be real or deserve help or community. that my existence is disrespectful or appropriative of the people who have more "real" experiences that should be listened to and lifted up more than me. that i got the "disability lite" experience somehow and would be misleading others if i claimed to be similar to them. "who needs more of some probably low support needs person ranting about their hurt little feelings, dont we have enough?" < evil thing my brain likes to tell me. i dont actually know what my support needs are its all very confusing and apparently only something a doctor can tell you. but i see people say that LSN level 1 autistics are always speaking over people and taking up too much space, and i get paranoid, am i doing that?! is that me? of course feeling this way just makes me more guilty. nobody has it easy, and you cant compare experiences. i know this. but i still feel like im not allowed. im taking something away from people who need it more. its not rational but im consumed by it at times. i had the difficulties of others used to guilt me into doing things as a child and to explain why i should be able to do something. have been dismissed by caregivers and doctors when i finally got brave enough and learned the right language to bring something up. so i just gave up. if i really needed it that badly, if it really was that disabling, someone would have noticed right? people like that dont just fall through the cracks do they? it's prevented me from seeking out local resources like day programs because they have waitlists, though they dont require diagnosis. all i can think is that im some ungrateful low support person whose taking something from someone who needs it more. and thats a horrible thought to have about myself or anyone and not a real thing that even happens. even a word to describe my experience feels like its asking for too much. i haven't even sought out SSI. even though ive never finished school or went to college, had a job, cant drive cant work, and only get by because i have very nice people in my life supporting me financially. i know how long it takes (im usa) to get on SSI. and how likely it is to get denied even with all the qualifiers above. how invasive and invalidating it is. dont know if i can take that process. but i also need more independence and help than im getting right now, because my issues are worsening as i age and i just cant do things or really live life. but it all feels like its not enough, even though i know theres nothing that WOULD ever be enough. thanks for listening.

This is internalized ableism in action. 1. All kinds of people fall through the cracks of the system. All kinds of people, with all kinds of disabilities, of all kinds of severities. 2. The idea that only the most impaired people deserve support and accommodations is far more harmful to ALL disabled people than the alternative. Disability is not a competition, and turning it into one hurts everyone. 2. Having low support needs doesn't equal having no support needs. And you clearly do have support needs that you deserve to have accommodated.

[schizosupport]

hi glitch! no pressure about answering, but I don't have any other schizospec people I can talk to, and I need some support

recently I got diagnosed with Other Specified Schizophrenia Spectrum Disorder/Psychotic Disorder, and I'm starting weekly therapy to get a specific diagnosis and treatment, and I have an evaluation with a psychiatrist to look at meds next week.

the thing is, I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around this. I've gone through my whole life up to this point trusting my sense of reality, and only had a brief period of time when I self diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (never confirmed).

AND I've started to look into medication, and the one i'll probably be prescribed is Ablify, which seems to have a ton of scary side effects. I'm still in school, and while I'm almost certain I can get accommodations, I can't be sure, and adolescents can be cruel.

truth be told, I'm just scared. I see posts about the opportunities taken away from schizospec people, and I haven't been living under a rock, I know all the stigma that surrounds what I know now to be my community.

like I said, no pressure to answer, I just want some advice and support from a more experienced member of the community.

Hello there!

It's been a while since you sent this message. I hope you are feeling at least a bit more settled in the situation?

It's always wild to get a diagnosis that you didn't necessarily expect. For me, my initial "psychosis not otherwise specified" diagnosis also completely blindsided me, and so did the later schizophrenia diagnosis.

It's true that there's a lot of stigma and bullshit surrounding the schizo spec disorders, but I also want to highlight that schizo spec people are awesome, and we're strong and we got each other's backs. In my experience the psychotics and schizos are the underdogs of not only the psychiatric community but also the mental health community. But that also means that you get a unique opportunity to learn who's a true ally, and to practice your own understanding and acceptance of other marginalized experiences on the edges of life. In my experience our community is one of the most compassionate and accepting communities around, probably bc we know intimately what it's like to have weird experiences and be judged for it. Try to navigate towards a place in your head where you align yourself with other marginalized people and don't get caught up in bitterness about a uniquely fucked situation, but instead take it as a sign to be kind above all else and to think about who else in society might be in a similar position, to find your allies and take comfort in unity.

In terms of the stigma, I think something to keep in mind as a newly diagnosed person, is that to the extent that it's possible, you are the owner of the information about your mental health. And you don't owe anyone disclosure. I'm not saying to necessarily always try to be vague, there ARE safe places and safe people and there ARE situations where you might genuinely broaden someone's horizons by introducing them to the notion that "we are here. We're one of you". But there are also plenty of situations where you don't wanna share that information. You can let them assume, you can omit, you can even lie.

People frequently assume that I'm autistic, and I don't correct them. Maybe I'll respond with "something like that" if they ask. Especially in professional settings. Unless you want someone to know, it's none of their business what exactly is your deal.

In terms of medication, the important thing to keep in mind is that it helps some people, but it is also not (shouldn't be) mandatory to take meds because you're schizo spec. You can give it a try, but if it isn't doing anything helpful for you, you are not obligated to take it. The psych might act like you have to and like it would be completely irresponsible not to. Try to take it with a grain of salt. Think about your life so far, the symptoms that have led to this diagnosis. Can you live with that? Do the meds help with that? Are there side effects and are thet worth it?

I take a low dose of antipsychotics myself and I've tried without and with higher doses too. For me at this point in life, a low dose of antipsychotics are helpful to me.

I'm happy to hear that you've been offered therapy!! I hope that it's any good, and that it's been helpful. I definitely think that therapy (with a good therapist) can be instrumental in dealing with psychotic symptoms.

In the end I just wanna say.. it's gonna be ok. I know it's a big scary new thing, but it is also actually "just" a word that's descriptive of symptoms that you already had. This doesn't mean that you are bound to get worse. Try not to panic about looking for new symptoms or symptoms you might've missed. This can make you worse, as you start questioning all of your experiences and whether they are psychotic. It can be little things like questioning every little sensory input. Try to remember that hallucinations aren't inherently harmful and sometimes you don't have to know if it's real or not bc it literally doesn't matter.

It can often be tumultuous when you've just gotten this diagnosis, before you get used to the thought and reestablish your sense of identity and reality with this in mind. But there is a point of peace coming up. It does normally get easier, as you settle into this new understanding. And you can help yourself along by reminding yourself that the only thing that changed is that you were given a word to describe your existing experience.

I hope any of this is helpful. Best of luck, anon,, and welcome to (knowingly being a member of) the community!

[cdd-systems-support]

hi idk if you do like... advice or anything? ik ur blog has support in the url but I'm not the best at inferring stuff sometimes so like if u don't answer this sort of thing ur totally free to delete it, no hard feelings i can always find someone else to ask 👍

anyway I'm just... kind of stressed that i moght be wrong about being a system? i mean it's something I've been kind of sure of for a few years now but i also have a lot of other mental health stuff going on so 1. I'm worried being a system AND psychotic AND depressed AND having ocd AND being autistic AND having adhd is like... too much? even though i know it's fully possible it still feels like I'm not allowed or something. and 2. i can't relate to a lot of apparently common experiences? like i can't talk to my alters or anything like that but i have memory loss and dissociate a lot and reading back conversations and old posts i can tell like. oh that message i don't remember sending doesn't sound quite like me. so it makes things super confusing and makes me worried about saying anything about it because if I'm wrong I'll feel like an awful person, but if I'm right then it's something I'd like my friends to know, you know?

anyway I'm sorry for dumping all this on you but if you have any advice for like. figuring this stuff out (or if you can just tell me like "yeah you're not a system" that would help immensely too lol) it would be hugely appreciated, but again, no pressure to answer or even read this, wishing you the best regardless!

hi! am answer this sort of things, so don't worry! thank you for asking.

1) it's not only normal but pretty common to have a lot of comorbidities. disabilities are like "buy one, get 7 for free." let's look at your list.

adhd and autism have high comorbidity rate and it's widely recognized in community and medical field. sourse

"as many as 80% of adults with adhd have at least one coexisting psychiatric disorder." sourse

and it's also widely recognized and known that autism and adhd have high comorbidity with depression and anxiety disorders.

"individuals first diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders had a 2-fold higher risk of a later diagnosis of ocd, whereas individuals diagnosed with ocd displayed a nearly 4-fold higher risk to be diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders later in life." sourse

"there is strong evidence for the existence of a high comorbidity between autism and psychosis with percentages reaching up to 34... according to literature, up to 34.8% of the patients with a diagnosis of asd can show psychotic symptoms and, similarly, autistic traits have been reported in schizophrenia patients in a percentage ranging between 3.6 and 60%." sourse

"while some studies showed no co-occurrence of ssds (schizophrenia spectrum disorders) and dds (dissociative disorders), others showed that between 9% and 50% of schizophrenia spectrum patients also meet diagnostic criteria for a dd. one study showed that in a sample of patients diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (did) 74.3% also met diagnostic criteria of a ssd, 49.5% met diagnostic criteria for schizoaffective disorder, and 18.7% met diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia." sourse

as you may see, neurodivergencies you listed are comorbid with one another. it's very possible to have them all (yes i haven't found comorbidities for every diagnosis with every diagnosis but there's some examples).

also, being system is a result of trauma, and being neurodivergent kid may be traumatizing experience. you may face ableism and misunderstanding, live in world unfriendly to your neurotype, etc. also being neurodivergent may increase your sensitivity to trauma or may do some "normal" things traumatic to you (like being forced to socialize, being forced to mask, etc).

so it's definitely not "too much" to have all these neurodivergencies and it makes sense actually.

2) your experience of being system doesn't have to match perfectly with others' experiences.

some people can't talk to alters. some people use external communication. some people can't communicate with alters at all. some people (me) may not notice communication.

it's possible to have high dissociative barriers. it's possible (and pretty common) to struggle with communication. it may be underrepresented in some community places, but it's very real challenge for lots of systems.

(also you may wanna research osdd-1a and pdid).

i have made post with some did signs (not exhaustive but heard of). maybe you may find it useful to look for different signs of alters presenting, not only communication. here

and again. if you come up wrong, you won't be awful. making mistakes doesn't make someone awful. it's okay not to know. it's okay not to be sure. it's okay to be questioning. it's okay to question something and be wrong / decide it's not your situation. you aren't bad. you don't appropriate things when you try to understand yourself. when you try to figure things out.

you may tell your friends if you wanna. even if you aren't perfectly sure. you may call yourself questioning system.

no one is born with clear and perfect knowledge abt themselves. to know yourself you have to question things. and sometimes you will be wrong. and it's okay.

hope it was helpful. if you have more questions (or if i misunderstood something and haven't answered properly), feel free to ask.

[spiderfreedom]

The Curtain Closes, For Now

It's been a few months and I haven't really felt a desire to go back to feminist blogging. In some sense, I feel like I've said what I've needed to say, and reached the limit of what I can do with my words. I'm not an especially persuasive person, so my attempts to kind of get any sort of organized action going failed. Maybe I'll be back one day, but for now, this is the end.

I learned so much here, and the time I spent really changed how I viewed the world. I can't regret it. I met so many amazing women and was encouraged for the first time in my life to center women.

At the same time, I felt I was living a double life, which was extremely painful psychologically. I had an entire second part of my life I could not tell anyone about. It hurt, physically. I knew this couldn't last forever.

I also felt like there was no long term future for writing certain things here. We have diversity, yes, but some things seem to have become axiomatic in the community. There is nothing wrong with having principles, but there are issues when your commitment to a value prevents you from incorporating new evidence. I have met a lot of people who feel the same way I do about certain things - feeling that it is not wise to discuss certain things asexuality, sexual relations with male people, or the origins of MTF (beyond 'pornsickness', 'misogyny', 'internalized homophobia'). I don't like how many people have felt they couldn't be open about their experiences or theories without risking censure.

I don't foresee this changing in the future. Tumblr communities are notoriously difficult for anyone to control or set norms for. At a certain point, I realized that I simply don't belong here anymore. Perhaps the interests have diverged too much. I worried I was becoming too focused on a single interpretation of the world.

I will leave my posts up for the time being. Many people have told me they have helped them, which is perhaps the greatest gift I got. If I can help someone else organize their thoughts or find stats and resources, then I am happy. I wish I could have done more, but I can't continue to live a double life, and especially a double life within the double life.

My political views have mostly not changed, but it's easier to live day-to-day now. I roll my eyes when someone talks about le ebil radfems. I could tell them stories about what radfems really are like - a very diverse group of women concerned with misogyny, with a radical framework. But they wouldn't want to listen. Their loss. I will keep centering women anyway.

If you would like to contact me for whatever reason, feel free to DM me, though I can't promise I'll reply quickly. I'll log in every now and then.

Thank you for reading, and best wishes for the future.

EDIT: oh yeah, I was also retraumatizing myself by constantly exposing myself to misogyny, violence against women, and the mistreatment of gnc and autistic women. I went through a pretty dark period because of it. It was not at all sustainable. I don't blame anyone for this except myself, as I failed to curate my own experience, but this political work inevitably requires seeing that material. I can't do it anymore.

[desistancejourney]

in the last year or two that I identified as trans (I considered myself trans in some way for about 5-6ish years) I felt like I HAD to keep feeling like I was trans in order for the things about myself to still make sense, it felt like an imposition, because any reason that I had to question it would be considered transphobia. And when I finally gave myself permission to stop doing that, I felt such a relief that I didn't have to do that anymore. It felt like a burden had left me and I no longer felt obligated to identify as trans, if that makes sense. And for several months after that the "trans" feelings weren't happening organically and I felt freedom to be myself because a female can be anything she wants to be, and i almost had trouble recalling all of the reasons I felt trans in the first place (I mean I understood some of the reasons logically but not the memory of the original very first feelings). But now that it's been over a year since I desisted, the feelings are starting to come back a little bit and it's been a weird experience. I have different thoughts and feelings about what these feelings mean now than I did then, but it's still interesting to see these feelings come up largely on their own without being surrounded by trans ideology like I was before. Like I'll have the thought "I really wish I were a guy" sort of out of the blue. Not "I want to look like a guy", not "I want to remove my breasts". It's more like "I think I would have been a lot happier if I were born a man." And while i would characterize myself as somewhat gnc, it's not even about that? It's just that I feel more like a guy than a woman. But when I push harder on that thought it almost always comes down to stereotypes and things that shouldn't necessarily be gendered but that doesn't stop it from hurting? And maybe it's the fact that I'm likely autistic but I don't really relate to or understand many of the women around me, or I do but not in the way I feel like I'm supposed to, whatever that means. The idea that "woman just means adult human female" has helped me in the sense that i don't have to be or feel any way to be a woman, and by simply just existing as a female person I am forcing the label of woman to be applied to me, and if I don't fit what you think it should mean then you're the one who's wrong, not me. But I still don't "feel" like a woman. I don't believe in magical gender feelings anymore in the trans ideology kind of way, but even among radfems (who I don't always 100% agree with) I still feel like there's a sense of being a woman that they feel that I just don't. I'm not trying to project "woman feelings" that they don't have onto radfems, I'm just trying to describe my own disconnect from womanhood, regardless of how its defined. I really would like advice on this point and maybe there's a way of looking at it that I haven't thought of. It's not that I "feel" like a man, either, in the sense that again, I don't believe in magical gender feelings, and also that since I am not a man (as in a male human being) I couldn't possibly know what it is to "feel" like a man. Even as I typed out "I am not a man", just now I felt a certain sadness; not like I was lying, it just made me very sad and that was unexpected. Sometimes when I feel this way I start to think that every lesbian has had these thoughts before. But I also see a lot of evidence that that's not true. I know there are other things that led to me thinking I was trans (trauma and autism for starters) other than just being gay. I guess I'm just surprised and confused that I still feel this yearning to be man even after desisting. I sort of convinced myself that a lot of those feelings were coming from the community that I was in, and I still largely think that, but there's still something inside me that contributed to my trans identification that I haven't dealt with yet. I just feel really sad about it today particularly and I wonder if any detrans or desisted women (or anyone, really) had some insight into this.

[dredgenvale]

relatively long rant about destiny, bungie, and player sentiment. no salt here. not towards the game at least. just the community.

i read the state of the game update. it made me really fucking excited and optimistic for what's coming next with destiny. turns out that's not the majority opinion and most people are just. so salty and so angry over things that i genuinely don't see as a problem. moreover, i often don't even understand why it's such a perceived problem in the first place. i mean, i'm usually the first to call out greedy developers. i've watched james stephanie sterling's videos for at least half a decade now. (kinda off topic but when we were both pre-transition and when i was like 14 i had sent them an email about how they helped us a lot with body image and they sent a really sweet reply even though i was the most awkward of awkward autistic kids)

point being - i fucking HATE greedy AAA game companies. and now bungie is being accused of the same practices for [checks notes] updating the game at their own pace and telling the stories that they want to tell? it's bullshit. sure, the eververse isn't perfect. sure, there are definitely some fucky monetization practices. i'd definitely prefer if the whole silver system was done away with entirely. but is it as bad as with activision? FUCK no. i saw a comment a bit ago saying 'the biggest trick bungie ever pulled was convincing us activision was the problem'. haven't been able to get that outta my head cause of how little sense it makes. as far as i can tell, nothing's really changed with destiny other than the price of seasons going up like 5 bucks with lightfall. would you rather have a price increase and keep buying ala carte, or pay like 40 bucks monthly like with other live service games?

bungie is still a big gaming company, definitely still have Opinions about those. but (knock on fucking wood) i haven't heard any of the horror stories i usually hear from those, ubisoft for example. bungie seems to genuinely care about the game experience. why else would they go independent again when they were making assloads of money with activision?

anyway. kind of rambling at this point. i guess my main point is that i have no clue what's gotten the d2 community all worked up recently when as far as i can tell nothing's really changed.

[mercifullymad]

Hi there! I was wondering if you had any recommendations for beginner readings about Sanism, anti psychiatry, etc? I've only recently been introduced to these ideas, but they really resonate with me and I'd love to learn more.

Hello, thank you for asking! I'm more than happy to share a list of readings I've found useful and/or important, and glad that you're interested in learning more!

Before I get into the list, one note: I identify as a mad liberationist, rooted in the principles of the Mad Pride movement and the academic (in)discipline of Mad Studies. So I don't have any recommendations that come from a strict anti-psychiatry stance, as I don’t root myself in the anti-psychiatry moment and I simply haven't read much in that tradition. Instead, my readings are mostly rooted in Mad Studies, Mad Pride, the psychiatric survivor/consumer/(ex-)patient movement, Critical Disability Studies, Disability Justice, and Crip Studies.

Without further ado, here are my recommendations (I encourage anyone else to add on in the comments/reblogs—I certainly have not read everything)!

Articles:

Mad Studies – What It Is and Why You Should Care:

“Mad Studies is an area of education, scholarship, and analysis about the experiences, history, culture, political organising, narratives, writings and most importantly, the PEOPLE who identify as: Mad; psychiatric survivors; consumers; service users; mentally ill; patients, neuro-diverse; inmates; disabled -to name a few of the “identity labels” our community may choose to use.”

Mad Studies Network – Shared Principles: From the same website as the above article. The website has many great articles and reading recommendations even though it hasn’t been updated for a couple years.

“We aim to work towards making and preserving space for mad people’s knowledges and histories within the academy and within [mental health] services.”

Mad and Queer Studies: Interconnections and Tensions:

“Mad and Queer Studies have lot of common ground – especially in terms of challenging existing binaries (for example, gay/straight and mad/sane); subverting negative connotations of Queer/Mad; and critiquing prevailing normativities (ways of being ‘normal’).”

A Psychiatric Survivor Studies Manifesto: A critique of Mad Studies and identifying as mad, instead suggesting identification as a psychiatric survivor and psychiatric survivor studies. A good read, especially as someone new to this area exploring your options for self-identification!

“Psychiatric survivors are those who have sought help and have not found it, psychiatric survivors have varying levels of belief in a separation of mind and body. Psychiatric survivors are not reducible to a single category but instead are a force to be reckoned with who have (often dysfunctionally) shut down major oppressive institutions and forced change within medicine multiple times over.”

Against Self Advocacy Part 2: Maddening Autistic Self-Advocacy: From the same writer as the above article.

“Like it or not, mad and anti-psychiatry politics do inform and are part of the history of Autistic politics.”

“The Autistic meltdown, when our bodies rebel because of sensory overload, the issues related to social impairment---many of these things have more similarity with mad politics … But those similarities have intentionally been quieted so as not to make Autistic bodies seem rebellious.”

Mad People Of Colour: A Manifesto:

“We cannot separate our experiences of racialization, madness, and other oppressions. … White people’s experiences of psychiatry are not ‘like colonialism’. Colonialism is like colonialism… Ask yourself whether your goal as a mad activist is to regain the white middle-class privilege you lost when you were psychiatrized.”

Trans Activists, Don’t Throw Mad People Under the Bus!: Article on the shared history and aims of trans and mad people.

“We know that the various psychiatric diagnoses for trans people have not been based in sensitive listening or in any kind of scientific knowledge of etiology, that on the contrary they have been nothing but arbitrary and punitive vehicles for imposing normative expectations of how a person ought to be. We know that psychiatrists and psychologists don’t listen to us, or our communities, don’t know about us, or our communities, and don’t help us, or our communities. Why would we assume things are any different for all the other kinds of people psychiatrists assert dominion over?”

The Buzzfeedification of Mental Health: This article is far from perfect in its analysis, but I think it’s still worth reading for its observations about how the internet structurally reinforces stringent diagnostic categories.

“The danger lies in how we enforce and contextualize these [diagnostic] categories. ... If we cannot commune with each other, relate to each other, love each other, argue with each other, without feeling that we are irreconcilably different because of something endemic to our psyches (you have ADHD, I have BPD, we are not the same), we lessen the chance that we will be able to build actual solidarity, and fight against the structures that cause us all to feel so mentally ill.”

An Introduction to Anti-Black Sanism: Unlike the other articles, this one is an academic article, but it’s too important to leave out.

“The historical and ongoing set of aggressions visited on Black/African people in the Global North is both anti-Black racism and a specific kind of sanism, and we have named this suffering, this particularly perilous mix of oppressions, anti-Black Sanism.”

“Anti-Black Sanism provides a framework that names the injustice, the pain, and seeks to address the historic discrimination, continued overrepresentation of Black/African-identified individuals in the mental health system… Anti-Black Sanism also allows us to join with others in de-centering whiteness in mental health as well as in the ex-patient, survivor, disability, and mad movements.”

The Next Generation of the Mad Movement in New York City Looks Like This:

“Peter Stastny finishes the first panel. As the elder of the group, he’s the self-chosen, pragmatic voice of “What works and what doesn’t work”, having been around and active since the 1980s and watched so many progressive mental health projects become defunded or co-opted or simply slip into obscurity. It’s obvious he wants this project to have a different fate.”

Help-Seeking: Where’s the Help? (tw self-harm and suicide)

“In the context of mental health, particularly intense mental distress associated with self-harm and suicide, asking for help might not only result in the absence of care, it might result in punishment and harm. … Emphasis on seeking [help] ignores not only the availability of help but crucially, the deep pain and frustration of calling for help and having nobody come.”

Un-care-able (tw self-harm and suicide)

“Stigma’ is too general, too mild a word for what is happening here. This is rejection, it is a casting out, it is the designation of ‘un-care-able’. In a sleight of hand so swift as to be both bewildering and dazzling, the more a person who self-harms needs care, the more they prove themselves to be both undeserving of it and unfit for it. Here pain is not evidence of need, and thus a prompt for care – instead, it is the signal for abandonment.”

Toward a Neuroqueer Future: An Interview with Nick Walker: Focused on neurodivergence, but a very good and important read for anyone interested in learning more about non-normative bodyminds.

“A lot of people hear neuro and they think, brain. But the prefix neuro doesn’t mean brain, it means nerve. The neuro in neurodiversity is most usefully understood as a convenient shorthand for the functionality of the whole bodymind and the way the nervous system weaves together cognition and embodiment. So neurodiversity refers to the diversity among minds, or among bodyminds.

In terms of discourse, research, and policy, the pathology paradigm asks, ‘‘What do we do about the problem of these people not being normal,’’ whereas the neurodiversity paradigm asks, ‘‘What do we do about the problem of these people being oppressed, marginalized, and/or poorly served and poorly accommodated by the prevailing culture?’’”

Books:

Unfortunately, I don't have many beginner book recommendations, although this depends on how you’re defining "beginner." If you're new to Mad Studies but not new to reading dense texts about Literary Studies, then La Marr Jurelle Bruce's "How to Go Mad Without Losing Your Mind" or Therí Pickens' "Black Madness :: Mad Blackness" would be great beginner texts. If you’re well-versed in the study of rhetoric, then other academic books like Margaret Price’s “Mad At School” and M. Remi Yergeau’s “Authoring Autism” can also serve as introductions. But if "beginner" means written for the general public as opposed to an academic audience, then these are the only recs I've got:

Robert McRuer's "Mad in America”: A history of psychiatry care and the psychiatry industry in the U.S. written for a general audience. Great for contextualizing and historicizing the development of U.S. psychiatry.

Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha’s “Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice”: This book does a great job explicitly connecting the Mad Pride and psychiatric survivor movement to broader disability organizing and issues. It is a great recounting of organizing efforts from both Disability Justice and the psychiatric survivor moment, grounded in Piepzna-Samarasinha’s long involvement in both.

Eli Clare’s “Brilliant Imperfection”: An extremely insightful overview of and meditation on the politics of “cure” for physically disabled, chronically ill, and mad people. Also some of my favorite writing on the utilities and harms of diagnosis.

[Textbooks] “Mad Matters” and “The Routledge International Handbook of Mad Studies”: It can be hard to get copies of these books without academic access (or spending a lot of money), but if you can somehow get them, they contain a lot of useful information and history.

[Can’t personally vouch for] James Davies’ “Sedated: How Modern Capitalism Created our Mental Health Crisis” and “Cracked: Why Psychiatry is Doing More Harm than Good”: I have not read either of these books, but they are written for a general audience, so probably very explanatory/introductory in their explanation, which might be good if you are coming to this with no prior knowledge. Jamies Davies is probably the most anti-psychiatry-aligned author on this list, too, if you’re specifically looking for writing rooted in that stance. The books seem to be focused critiques of the contemporary psychiatric industry (rather than focusing on the experiences/organizing/culture of mad people, as most of my other recs do).

Finally, I would also suggest checking out collectives/orgs like Project LETS (lots of great posts on their instagram about sanism and mad pride), the Institute for the Development of the Human Arts (IDHA), Recovery in the Bin, the #StopSIM collective, and country or region-specific Mad Pride groups, Hearing Voices groups, and Alternatives to Suicide Groups. So much of this knowledge is created and spread through social networks and transient social media posts rather than in articles and books.

[hiccupmistress]

PSA; autistic people have a tendency to take things quite literally. I saw a TikTok the other day (I'm afraid I didn't save it, sorry) where someone was talking about when neurotypical people will use a question as a veiled insult. I.e, "Why are you doing it that way?" is often meant to mean "You're doing it wrong", whereas neurodivergent people will take this at face value and answer why we find a method of doing a thing preferable, and vice-versa, we'll often ask "why are you doing it that way?" out of genuine curiosity to learn, and neurotypical people will interpret it in the veiled insult way.

I'd like to add to this with an experience I just had of taking something literally when a neurotypical person was being somehow non-literal. My Mum approached me with her laptop and said "I'm in no way telling you what to do, but this just popped up and I thought you should know". It was an advert for a new job vacancy at a local business. A local business that I have applied for numerous times in the past and not only have they rejected me, but their rejections have been rather condescending and inconsiderate. I simply said "They haven't exactly been encouraging in the past", and my Mum then shouted "WELL CAN'T YOU AT LEAST APPLY???", and I said "I thought you weren't telling me what to do?" and my Mum then silently stormed off, went out the front door and got in the car and drove off to have a sulk. For real though, why did you say you weren't telling me what to do if you were literally telling me what to do??

My Mum is always insisting she understands my autism and tries to accommodate it, but she is always doing things like this, no matter how many times or how carefully I explain it, and I'm apparently always the bad guy. Just say what you mean and its less of an issue, if you're about to tell me what to do, don't preface it with "I'm not about to tell you what to do". How do neurotypical people even function when nothing they say is what is meant??

I've heard of "reading between the lines", but should I just assume every day is opposite day?!

EDIT: I should clarify that I love my Mum dearly - she's the most supportive person in my life by a country mile, and she is just trying to help me get a job in this anecdote. No issue with any of that, I'm grateful. Just wish she was a little more receptive to me explaining my issues - its unfortunately a repeating pattern and I've done my very best to communicate it.

[an--artistic--autistic]

attended a webinar on suicidism (in a queer/disabled context) and it was amazing to actually hear people talking about stuff that i have been thinking about and experiencing for years

thoughts below (cw suicide mentions, ableism, transphobia, homophobia, the entire topic is pretty heavy so please take care of yourselves)

to preface - I am not suicidal.

I was suicidal for about 10 years, and only within the past year or so was I able to sort through everything enough to feel stable and healthy enough to continue living.

The biggest takeaway from today (imo) was the emphasis on by basically forbidding people from talking about suicide and their experiences with suicidality (in both an active and passive context), we are effectively isolating people and adding to negative experiences or whatever pressure they're currently facing.

Most professionals (or suicide hotlines, etc.) will end up reporting people for suicidal ideation, which frequently results in involuntary psychiatric holds, police involvement, legal repercussions, and so on.

Which then results in suicidal people just... not confiding in anyone.

In my experience, I didn't tell anyone I had been suicidal at all until a year after my first (and only) serious attempt. I was terrified of dealing with any reactions that came from it.

I am involved in both the queer community and disabled community, both in real life in my city, and online (to an extent). I rarely talk to people who haven't considered suicide, yet it still feels very taboo to discuss, and it feels like we have to always reassure everyone else that no I'm not going to do it, don't worry about me while simultaneously discussing very heavy details about our lives and our health.

This summer I've also been working on a suicide prevention training program focusing on non-binary and autistic youth. It's important when talking about this to recognize that within these circles, suicidality is extremely common. We can't pretend that it's an isolated thing, or can be solved with "willpower" or medication. Sometimes, an involuntary hold will make things worse. So many queer and disabled people consider suicide due to bigger, systemic issues.

The two biggest factors for me were the risk of not being supported during my transition, and not being able to access effective support for my disabilities.

Something my psychologist did wonderfully when the topic of suicide came up (again, several years after my only serious attempt) was actually listen to my reasoning and understand why I was experiencing that. And afterward, she agreed with me.

I had laid everything out, every concern I'd had with my future, every condition I had placed leading up to my attempt, everything I had felt when I was at my worst, and she had listened, and she understood.

She did not report me to anyone, she did not call the police. The extent of her involvement was to make it clear to me that if I ever found myself in crisis again, to come see her.

I have always been a "problem solver". I get it from my mom, and it's been exacerbated by my autism. I think that in order to support people who are or have been suicidal (myself included), we need to make space to talk about it. We can't truly provide support if we aren't willing to listen.

It's far more helpful to ask how to support someone, what resources they need, find things to try, and treat suicide not as some horrific depressing thing, but as the last option. It's a matter of finding things to put before it rather than eliminating it entirely.

The whole "oh but you have so much to live for" "what about how your friends and family will feel" "oh things will get better later on" frequently isn't helpful to hear as a suicidal person. I didn't have much to live for. I didn't worry about how people would feel. I didn't have a future to strive towards. Hearing that usually just made me feel worse, and made things harder to deal with.

Getting my diagnoses allowed me access to support. Prior to that, I was so overwhelmed by the concept of being a person— to have to keep living like that was the worst possible thing I could imagine. At that point I had no possible future as things were.

Also the absolute fucking ableism that is MAID, going hey you have societal permission to die but only if you're disabled fuck you. It's literally just saying that they don't care enough about our lives to look at other possible solutions. I understand how someone would be interested in MAID. I've looked into it for myself — I've told my mom exactly what circumstances in which I would actually apply for it and I have her full support. But it's insulting to see that expanding the program is more convenient than putting as much effort into other solutions.

I think that's all I have right now, but I might add more later once I've had more time to process (and i have an assignment due in an hour which isn't helping).

I'd love to open up space to talk about this more with people, especially if others would find that helpful. I'm really lucky that my friends and irl community are open about this stuff, but most people don't have a place where they can safely discuss stuff.

if you've made it this far through my rant/infodump on this i am thoroughly impressed, and I apologize for any misspellings or typos. I haven't reread what I've put.

[drdemonprince]

i’m kind of curious about if you have any comments on ableism, specifically towards queer autistics, within the queer community.

My gut reaction to this question is that is honestly that I see so much more homophobia, transphobia, queer phobia, and moral sex panicking within neurodiverse spaces than I see the reverse. Hell, I see more of those problems within the actual queer community as well than I see ableism.

Most genuine queer community spaces recognize the intersections between queerness and disability pretty intimately. That's because in order to function lastingly and have meaning, good queer community spaces are inclusive of elders, who are more likely to be disabled themselves and who remember the mass disabling event that was the AIDs epidemic. ACT UP was a disability justice movement. There is no separating queer history from anti-ableist work. And no separating anti-ableism from queer liberation, of course, but queer groups seem more aware of this than many neurodiversity spaces are.

But certainly one does encounter massive neuronormativity and a lack of accessibility in queer spaces, if one's gauge of queer spaces is locations like circuit gay clubs and bars and the cruising/dating scene. And I don't intend to minimize those problems, I just don't think those spaces are community spaces so much as they are places of business that have targeted a queer demographic.

Obviously the line between business and community space gets fuzzy in lots of places. Non-circuity Gay bars filled with old timers are a real fucking treat. Every young queer person who thinks badly about cis gays should spend a lot more time in old timer gay bars meeting actual older cis gay people and realizing how many of them are embracing of transness and neurodiversity as well. They get it, because many of them have lived it far longer than we have.

Cruising spots and gay saunas can be amazing spots for disabled queer people to visit too. if you haven't ever been you'll likely be surprised by the number of disabled people there, both physically disabled and neurodivergent people. Lots of trans people too. People with all kinds of bodies and accessibility needs.

In short, I really can't say I have ever been part of a queer community that wasn't made, founded, and led by disabled, neurodivergent people. And I've moved through quite a few realms. I know the ableism is out there, just as I know the massive superficiality and fatphobia is, and it operates in some parallel and some distinct ways. But I think for a queer community space to even really be one it has to have already had disabled people shaping it from the very start, and in my experience the communities dovetail so much that that's always been the case.

[thatadhdfeel]

Hi! I've been thinking about this for..probably weeks, so I decided to ask—

TL;DR: I haven't been officially diagnosed with ADHD but I'm suspected of having it, can I still say that I have it or I shouldn't?

For more information and a bit of rambling probably:

I've been interested in psychology (mainly disorders) for years now (I'm still a minor), when I was 10 I stumbled upon depression on TikTok. I related to a lot of stuff but I didn't want to self-diagnose, I ended up researching alot— I'd spend hours! I related heavily to everything, but I brushed it off as "I probably don't have it" Like 2-3 years later my mother took me to a psychologist and I got diagnosed with depression— so that's a thing. Ever since then I've been going to a psychologist every week (This is for a little background info)

I've recently (like in January I think) been to group therapy (5 people in total (all afab, although I identify as nonbinary) +2 psychologists), it was 2 weeks long and we had to stay in a mental hospital. The first day one of my therapy partners asked me if I had ADHD— I said no, since I'm not diagnosed— so that was interesting—

After the 2 weeks were over we talked about it with the psychologists and my mom, they also mentioned that they thought I had ADHD—

Ever since then I was wondering if I had it (my Psychologist said that I'll get tested etc before the end of the school year but I haven't heard anything else about it since then). I heard about ADHD back then (years ago) and related a little but never got that interested in it and brushed it off as "I don't have it". But now ever since the group therapy I've been researching ADHD (and autism, that's another thing that I'll get into later) and I heavily relate to everything and it just clicked! I've always felt different, I was always told that I was different (also that I'm overly sensitive etc) and everything just...well..clicked— so yeah, my question is, am I 'allowed' to say that I have it?

And about the autism thing that I was talking about— I don't think I'm autistic, although I relate to a few stuff.

Also, my dad thought I was autistic for...reasons and I was taken to a psychologist (or psychiatrist, I don't remember) but they said that I don't have it (we were there 3 times, I don't remember any of it)

I also completed tests and all of them were at the cusp (barely above or below)—

If I have ADHD, then it would make sense since there can be overlaps and stuff, especially since both of them are neurodiversity

I really hope that I get diagnosed with it. If they say that I don't have it idk what I'll do (one of my friends also got weirded out when I told her that I want to get diagnosed, "why do you want that?")

If you answer this, thank you for your time and energy! I'm sorry for the block text

I hope you'll have a great day!!

Okay well first of all that friend is being blatantly ignorant, there’s definitely benefits that come with being diagnosed like medication and proper treatment…the hell does she mean by “why”…

Anyways —

I am fully in support of self diagnosis as is this blog, and people questioning ADHD are also more than welcome. You saying you have ADHD until you find out whether it’s true or not is not going to hurt a single soul. If you find ADHD resources and communities helpful, there is zero harm in finding solace in those.

If you end up having ADHD, great, you have a name for the experience! And if not? Well, in the meantime, you learned a lot, advocated for yourself, and communicated with your therapy partners+psych. I think that’s pretty special and worth it.

I hope all goes well. Feel free to come back and update us on what happens! I’d love to know.