#I just think the fact that they used THIS PHOTO is hilarious

[inchidentally]

"short and easier to read" babe I am so sorry to you and everyone else for how my insane posts come out - it's why I link to so much stuff bc it is a struggleee for me to not write just run-on sentences ;__; but I do get what you mean and I promise I tried my best - it's def shorter than the og and in smaller bites if that helps ??

(I actually wrote this on someone else's laptop so it's got proper punctuation and capitalization and everything!)

For those who don’t know: Oscar is an acts of service guy Lando is a words of affirmation guy. Let’s remember that someone’s love language is how they choose to express themselves, not what they should demand of others!

Oscar is also very much not a PR guy, for anyone totally oblivious to the obvious (and that all his "greatest hits" in PR were done unintentionally or bc he's awkward or bc his mom is cooler than him). For example, Oscar brings up his girlfriend of 4-5 years a fair amount but it’s almost hilariously not gushy or romantic (having a “cuddle” is as far as it goes lasfgjlsagfl). But he’s said himself that for the most part he’d prefer not to have too much private life available to the public. *His downtime with Lando joins in with all his other social life in being extremely limited to the public. 

The “thanking the sponsors” thing is one of Oscar’s safe, approved speeches he pulled from Andrea so that Oscar doesn’t have to do spontaneous on-camera speaking. Sorry but not all of us are good at it and it’s wayyyy easier to just have some rehearsed pre-approved soundbites. He tends to have a few that he repeats for a while until he updates the list lsafjslafhlafh.

He also very openly struggles to do on-camera speaking and no one knows that better than Lando who’s had to help him a huge amount. 

It does seem to be mostly cameras that make him stressed bc he was fine thanking Lando for his help in Baku at the fan stage in Singapore and overall he can use more of his dry humor when he's speaking to people rather than just to a camera. 

Lando’s recent inclusion of Oscar in his media responses to this degree is a reaction to Hungary and Monza - normally, his post race responses focus on himself and his own performance (which is literally normal and the default for drivers!!). The recent emphasis on teamwork/Oscar is something he feels he needs to do with his own PR work right now. He’s a smart man who’s been doing this a long time, so his reasons are valid no matter what fans think. He’s not sitting there working out or analyzing Oscar’s PR, just his own. 

People are absolutely running away with themselves over Monza and ignoring that apart from that one moment, Oscar is widely popularly seen as the supportive teammate role. To the point where last year and even part of this year, Lando was criticized by a lot of fans for not acknowledging Oscar enough.

Going off of that, let’s show how easy it is to take PR and media to make one of them look bad by turning it around onto Lando (!! this is for an example, I do NOT endorse hating on Lando for any of it !!)

Lando openly disliked being referred to as the “older teammate” and kinda left Oscar to his own devices so much last season that Oscar wouldn’t know where he was going a lot of the time and even semi-joked “my teammate’s abandoned me” (again, reminder this was not a source of drama for anyone but fans). He got called a little duckling a lot bc he’d tail Lando closely so as not to lose him. In fact it started irking some people that Lando would spend so much time with Carlos or Daniel and not getting to know his new teammate and helping him out with his rookie season of F1 the way Carlos did for Lando.

In every team photo where Lando has had a podium and Oscar has had nothing (and sometimes due at least in part to team orders!) which is very often! the comments sections have always had plenty of ‘Oscar is such a great team player, always happy and showing up for Lando no matter what’. So the whole ‘Oscar doesn’t do enough for Lando’ narrative is extremely recent and at odds with the rest of reality.

Please read the very first part of my enormous full post bc Lando didn’t thank Oscar for his Miami win, he praised his driving.

Even though at Silverstone this year Lando got on the podium and Oscar didn’t, Oscar made the fan stage all about bringing Lando out of his disappointment and even said he did the shoey “to make us feel better” and then dedicated the top row of his IG that week to photos and videos of him and Lando. Special note that this is in no way Oscar’s home race and he was solely seeing it as emotional for Lando and McLaren - and he had zero reason to personally be very happy after that weekend.

I’ve seen Melbourne this year get mentioned in the team orders discussions on my fyps, so that’s a handy example in many ways: Despite Melbourne being Oscar’s literal hometown race - and Lando even filming some Quadrant stuff at Oscar’s childhood karting track where a corner is named after him* - this year Lando didn’t acknowledge Oscar really at all over the weekend until someone mentioned him at the end of the podium press conference. Lando acknowledged that Oscar following team orders made his (Lando’s) drive a bit easier in Melbourne this year but said that he was faster than Oscar and deserved third over him anyway. (Good contrast to Hungary and even Carlos stating that something an undercut due to pit strategy shouldn’t erase one teammate being faster/more dominant in a race in order to give the other teammate the win!) He did PR work with pretty much everyone except Oscar actually, even doing promo for his (Lando’s) dad’s electric scooters on the new dotmov acc. Kind of like him being on a similar PR campaign at Singapore this year because of a sneak preview of Quadrant rebranding and announcing the Landostand at Silverstone  - he went for the biggest PR hits and posted Daniel on his jpg account, did a golf day with Carlos and Max F and was more active on socials than he had been for months. All while only having Oscar in one photo out of the whole weekend’s carousel despite the McLaren double podium. You could even read into him cutting Oscar and Oscar’s trophy out of two of the shots if you wanted! (He did include Oscar in the big group photo after the podium celebrations.)

*I saw some ppl say he didn't include Oscar in the Melbourne karting filming bc McLaren doesn't cross over with Quadrant, which isn't true. Zak has shares in Quadrant and Bianca has been included in the Quadrant rebranding launch with Lando's Singapore helmet design.

See how easy that was to flip it around?? If you’re even slightly biased against a driver or never see flaws in another- or are dying for two teammates to hate each other - then confirmation bias will always find plenty of “evidence”! Because the reality is that after the Austin GP, Lando found his “older teammate” mode and began helping Oscar out with his rookie year. In Melbourne, Lando spent his first day filming for his .mov account including the Oscar jersey and merch he came across - and Oscar mentioned how he and Lando talked about Lando filming at his old track. (Again, not PR coordinated or filmed, just mentioned!) And that after the Singapore race this year, they beamed at each other every other second of that night, filmed a deliriously happy post race video and joked in the cool down room - I honestly doubt have even noticed yet what the other has posted to IG salfhsalfafa. All of the negativity fans are coming up with is their own personal spin and does not resemble how Lando and Oscar are behaving to or speaking about each other.

They base their relationship on their conversations and interactions solely away from the public and the cameras and don’t do any inflammatory commentary about each other. They bragged about the door in the team hub that separates their drivers rooms from everyone else and leaves them open only to each other. Their communications only matter to each other when in private.

Segueing on from that: media and social media are literally PR. Lando is extremely skilled at it now and Oscar is not at all naturally skilled and is still learning. Lando is quick to be able to adapt his media responses, Oscar is not and often sounds stilted and uncomfortable. But it still has nothing to do with how they think of each other and talk to each other personally.

And “Landoscar” has never had the typical PR bromance aspect that we all love in other teammates, and it never will. Lando and Oscar mention but don’t broadcast or package their downtime together and they don’t share their private dynamic with fans or the media apart from the glimpses we see in more relaxed content. It’s just their choice! And just like it doesn’t mean Lando and Oscar are less friends because they don’t PR their relationship, it doesn’t mean the friendships who do utilize PR are less friends! 

And tbh that’s a good note to leave on: that seeing two drivers with no PR to gain from openly liking and respecting each other should mean that we as fans place less importance on the PR responses they give to media and put on social media. So many people want them to hate each other (Netflix even begging them outright) and rivalries get far more headlines and fan engagement, that if these two didn’t like each other or even were blah about each other, they wouldn’t waste time trying to fake it (side note ppl actually thought this joke was deadly serious for a short while). F1 isn’t team sports, no one really cares if drivers or teams appear “friendly” unless they’re desperate for money/engagement to keep them afloat (even there, Alpine prove it clearly isn’t a priority to have friendly teammates when you’re lower down the grid!)

There is absolutely nothing to be gained for them in faking the smiles and laughter and twinning. Equally there’s nothing to be gained by us as fans in judging them and their relationship based on their PR responses and PR work. Lando beams and smiles the same at Oscar after all of Oscar’s awkward, stiff debrief speeches and I kind of want one of these crazy stans to say to him that Oscar is a bad team player and doesn’t show Lando enough appreciation just to watch what his adorable face does in response (don’t do that I’m joking).

[the-nation-of-today]

DONATE BLOOD (THREAT)

[5sospenguinqueen]

But I Love Him - Oscar Piastri x Reader

Summary: Oscar Piastri’s girlfriend is Danny Ric’s biggest fan. When Oscar announces he’s signing for McLaren, she’s not sure how to react. 

Warnings: Fluff. Crack fic

Only a small one. Inspired by Nicole Piastri’s hilarious podcast appearance. Did I push back my scheduled posts in favour of this sudden smau? Yes

20233-2023 season

F1 Masterlist

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

2021

mclaren just posted

liked by yn_ln, landonorris and others

mclaren what a race 🏆 an amazing drive from our honey badger

10,333 comments

landonorris great race, mate

yn_ln that’s my driver! 

→ oscarpiastri love you too

→ yn_ln shush, daniel might see this and then think we’re dating

→ oscarpiastri we are dating

→ yn_ln you’re ruining my chances

markwebber skills

→ yn_ln lovely, wonderful, talented mark. fancy spoiling a girl and getting her danny ric merch?

→ oscarpiastri you don’t talk like that to me

→ yn_ln because i have to deal with you leaving your wet towels on the bed

→  yn_ln plus all your merch is alpine

→ user1 she's so real for that tho

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

2022

yn_ln welp, there go my chances of meeting danny ric if you’re not going to be an f1 driver

→ danielricciardo i’m sure we’ll both be in aus at the same time in the future ;)

→ yn_ln omg he talked to me. oscar, he talked to me! 

→ oscarpiastri yup, i can see that

→ yn_ln why don’t you care?! 

logansargeant that’s one way to break the news 

→ yn_ln he’s so dramatic isn’t he

→ user2 why is oscar still with her? she’s so mean to him

→ user3 it's called banter. try it some time, babe

aussiegrit never a dull day with you 

→ yn_ln at least you get to hear about this beforehand. the alpine announcement shook me

→ oscarpiastri um, it shook me too? 

→ yn_ln do you need me to stroke your hair again? 

→ aussiegrit @/yn_ln you're no better

nicolepiastri your girlfriend is distraught that you didn’t consult her before being a drama queen. i raised you better than this 

→ yn_ln 🤍🤍

→ oscarpiastri beaten for #1 child by my own girlfriend

oscarpiastri just posted

liked by yn_ln, logansargeant and others

oscarpiastri it’s official 

6,981 comments

yn_ln but i love daniel…

→ oscarpiastri i know. everyone does

→ yn_ln but i love him the most 

→ oscarpiastri i know

→ user4 bit weird that you’re not congratulating him

fernandoalo_official amazing news. can’t wait to see you on track 

user5 mclaren are so messy for using an alpine pic

user6 okay but hello mr piastri. i was not familiar with your game

→ user7 yn saw the vision when she fell for him years ago

→ yn_ln c’mon guys, he was cute before 

→ oscarpiastri i’m still cute now!

→ yn_ln no, now you’re hot

→ oscarpiastri oh 🤭

→ landonorris fuck me, is this what i have to deal with now?

→ logansargeant yes

→ arthur_leclerc yes

→ frederikvestiofficial yes

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

2023

yn_ln just posted

liked by oscarpiastri, frederikvestiofficial and others 

yn_ln hubby’s first f1 race weekend (but more importantly, i met THE daniel ricciardo. and he was wearing his best colours)

3,813 comments

oscarpiastri i thought this was going to be a really sweet post and then

→ landonorris i actually watched his smile fall 

→ yn_ln he’s in love with you now. it’s your responsibility to brush his hair and promise him he’s special 

→ oscarpiastri between you and my mother, i don’t think i’ll ever have a comfortable day on the internet 

danielricciardo i took really nice photos with you, and you post this one? 

→ yn_ln please don’t be mad at me. i cry easily 

oscarpiastri it’s bad enough that the world knows daniel is your favourite driver. can you at least pretend mclaren is your favourite team?

→ yn_ln go papaya! 

→ yn_ln love you, pookie 

→ oscarpiastri love you too, sweetheart

→ user8 the fact that no matter how hard she bullies him, he can never NOT say i love you back

aussiegrit proud of our boy 

→ yn_ln me too! 

→ oscarpiastri say it to my face, you coward

→ user9 how is oscar so sweet and introverted in interviews but then we see him like this on his girlfriend’s insta

→ oscarpiastri she brings out the demon in me

danielricciardo just posted

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and others 

danielricciardo stole my seat so i stole your girl tagged: oscarpiastri, yn_ln

4,303 comments 

arthur_leclerc i bet he’s crying in his driver’s room

logansargeant i joked about stealing her once and he hit me with a wrench 

frederikvestiofficial i made her laugh once and he bit me 

landonorris @/mclaren are you seeing this? i think i want a new teammate 

user10 pr are screaming

→ user11 they do anytime yn comments on things

oscarpiastri keep her

→ yn_ln oi! 

→ yn_ln i mean… he did give you permission 

→ logansargeant where was this treatment for us?

→ oscarpiastri i’m fed up of her now. i still had hope back then

maxverstappen1 i thought we were forever 

→ yn_ln you can’t beat my devotion to him

→ maxverstappen1 no but i can beat your devotion to your boyfriend 

→ yn_ln eh

oscarpiastri just posted

liked by arthur_leclerc, aussiegrit and others

oscarpiastri she loves me really

4,811 comments

yn_ln my whole 💕

→ oscarpiastri i love you lots  

→ yn_ln you know you’re my favourite guy forever

landonorris can confirm that they are disgustingly in love around the paddock 

→ yn_ln you’re just jealous because you keep trying to steal him

danielricciardo i was stood next to them once and she didn’t even glance at me because oscar was making her laugh 

→ nicolepiastri he’s not even funny 

→ yn_ln don’t say these things. you’ll ruin my reputation as danny ric stan #1

user12 he’s not beating the orange cat allegations 

→ user13 not with all the comments over the years of her stroking his hair to make him feel better

logansargeant bro relax. no one’s going to take her from you 

→ oscarpiastri daniel’s rejoined red bull. her favourite driver is back with her favourite team. i have to stake my claim 

→ yn_ln when he gets possessive 😍

→ arthur_leclerc 🤮🤮

frederikvestiofficial i thought not being in f1 meant i could escape this. get it off my fyp

[httpsserene]

𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐰/𝐥𝐧𝟒

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you’re upset with the switch up the internet has pulled on you. a few years ago, everybody was saying you were too pretty for lando, but now they’re drooling over him? you will not be letting this slide.  📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: fluff. mild angst. humor. twt users being twt users. reader is a fashion designer (not important but mentioned). reader is also wild af. brain-rot. not beta-read. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: lando norris x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: smau. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: spice girl • aminé

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: in honor of lando's birthday :) look y’all—i saw one tik tok edit that was like “why is lando kinda…” and i audibly said KINDA???? and then i got mad like, how are people just noticing how fine he is. and then i saw another one that was like, “oh everybody thinks charles is the prettiest on the grid…but now introducing: lando” and i almost threw my phone across the room :) so this is inspired by me flexing that i have always thought lando was fine, and that i’m also mad that i have to share him. loves, this is complete brain rot and it took me years to recreate these ig posts for some reason; have fun reading !!!

all pics are from pinterest/op's

want to be added to my taglist or submit a request? send me an ask!

all of my posts can be found from my table of contents

anything on your mind? talk to me!

twitter • three years ago, 2020

instagram

yninstagram • three years ago, 2020

liked by landonorris, mclaren, maxfewtrell, lewishamilton, and 16,175,978 others

yninstagram lando norris is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with. he’s perfection personified. the most soft, kindest, sweetest, considerate, and funniest man has allowed me the privilege of being his girlfriend. i’m forever thankful that we get to grow together. he’s the cutest, hottest, and prettiest boy to ME–and that’s all i care about, and that’s all you need to accept. i don’t give a FUCK about your opinions on who *i* should date. i’m the only person who’s decisions matter concerning my romantic relationships. why the hell should y’all bitches who don’t even use their own photos for their pfp’s and use a k-idol’s face instead, dictate who is hot or not. it’s incredibly vein, disgusting, and immature behavior from people who think they’re my fans. acting like jealous school children isn't cute; i was never your property. it’s hilarious too, considering some of y’all are grown women DOUBLE my age talking shit about my business–go worry about why your kids don’t want anything to do with you anymore.

tagged landonorris

view comments

yninstagram matter of fact, go ahead and change your little profile pictures to real pictures of you, i don’t want to see any filters. then we can all see that all y’all want to do is spread insecurity stemming from your own self-hatred 🙂

yninstagram and while i have you all here, my winter season clothes will be restocked on the 15th.

comments have been disabled.

twitter • imessage • 2023

instagram

landonorris • august 24th • zandvoort ⚑

liked by yninstagram, mclaren, carlossainzjr, and 547,930 others

landonorris back in my favorite place

view comments

yninstagram first!! stay back hoes 🤺🤺

➥ user being called a hoe by y/n is not what i expected this year

➥ user she has notif’s 😭on 😭 for 😭 lando 😭

yninstagram how r u so HOT 🥵

yninstagram that sweater is mine now 👺

➥ landonorris i can just get another for you love

➥ yninstagram …i want this one lan🫤

➥ landonorris okay it’s yours 🫠

user neither of them have any backbone when it comes to each other

➥ yninstagram as it should be 😤

user might have to trip and fall into lando’s arms this weekend

➥ yninstagram i’m flying in tomorrow rethink your plan 🙂

➥ user i think i’ll avoid lando like the plague this weekend 😅

➥ user smart decision babes

landonorris • september 12th

liked by yninstagram, lnfour, tumitravel, and 425,395 others

landonorris coming in hot @ tumitravel

view comments

yninstagram come in me—i mean come home to me haha 😳😊

➥ landonorris babe please not in front of the sponsors 😧

➥ tumitravel oh no pls don’t stop for us 🫣 we stan y/n

user i saw this photo shoot LIVE!!! lando was so sweet, he signed my hat for me, and he smells so good 😩😩

➥ yninstagram i’ll chop off your nose and then you can be voldemort for halloween 👺

user i don’t know if i want to choke him or have him choke ME

➥ yninstagram how about me choking you

➥ user omg i’m down for a threesome 😳

➥ yninstagram choking you to death :)

➥ user i don’t wanna play this game anymore

landonorris • september 18th • singapore ⚑

liked by yninstagram, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 950,706 others

landonorris whatttaaaaa weekend ❤

view comments

yninstagram GODDAMN

carlossainzjr vamossss landito ❤️💪🏼🏆

➥ landonorris ayyyy 🧡🥳🥳

➥ yninstagram my boysssss 🥰

yninstagram that’s my boyfriend 🤤

➥ landonorris last photo is just for you 😋

yninstagram so proud of you baby, i’m running out of room to put all these trophies <3

➥ landonorris v happy to be your trophy husband

user i’m in love with this singapore haircut 🤤 thank you for not fucking it up lando 😅

➥ yninstagram mmm yes, i’m thrilled it’s still long on the top 😍 it gives me something to tug on

user surprised y/n allowed him to post that last one

➥ yninstagram he doesn’t need my permission, but i get to see him naked so i rdc

user quadrant helmet it so beautiful! i want it to stay 😭

➥ user i want him to fuck me with it on

➥ yninstagram out of pocket…but completely valid honestly—delete your account 😊

liked by landonorris

yninstagram carlando 1-2 makes up for the war i’m fighting in these comments

mclaren • novemeber 8th

liked by landonorris, f1, yninstagram, and 97,293 others

mclaren pulling up fresh with @ landonorris

view comments

yninstagram not pictured: @ landonorris pulling up to OUR flat

➥ user y/n said “he’s coming home with meeeee”

f1 does he come with the jacket👀

➥ yninstagram no, but the price of me folding you like a lawn chair is included in shipping & handling

➥ f1 i’ll go sit down 😅

➥ user she’s fighting the f1 main??? this is mentally-ill behavior y/n!!!

yninstagram mclaren admin go stand in a corner and stare at the wall

➥ mclaren they made me post this!!! i would NEVER risk upsetting you ma’am 🙇🏼‍♀️

➥ yninstagram no talking from the timeout corner 🫵🏽

user we don’t care about the jacket. which organ do i have to sell to buy an hour with him?

➥ yninstagram both kidneys

➥ user but you need at least one kidney to live?

➥ yninstagram how,,,unfortunate

user model!lando always glowssssss

➥ yninstagram it’s the 9 step skincare routine i have him on, you can follow steps 1-8 on his ig

➥ user what’s step 9?

➥ yninstagram kissing me 🤭

lando.jpg • novemeber 13th • with my wife ⚑

liked by yninstagram, carlossainzjr, mclaren, team_quadrant, and 976,234 others

lando.jpg lucky to have found you so early in my life. you're my best birthday gift.

tagged yninstagram

view comments

yninstagram posting my side boob on the jpg account? forgiven since you called me your wife 🥺

➥ lando.jpg thought i’d start practicing your future title, mrs. norris

➥ yninstagram come back to bed. you can start practicing giving me your kids too.

user i want y/n to bury my head in between her boobs

➥ lando.jpg no. i sleep there also—you’re blocked 🤗

danielricciardo as long as i’m the godfather, i can forget i’ve ever read this 🤮

➥carlossainzjr get in line mate, i’ve called being baby norris’ godfather ages ago

➥maxverstappen wait your turn mates, clearly i am the correct choice for godfather

➥maxfewtrell ah, i believe you lads have forgotten my existence

➥yninstagram baby norris doesn’t exist yet, no need to fight to the death rn 🙄

➥lando.jpg i’ll convince the mrs to have four, for my racing number and so you each have a godchild 😅

user y/n may have won the war, but i’ve won the battle—bisexuals have been fed today!!!

➥user girl, i’m straight and i’ve zoomed in on the last photo an unhealthy amount of times

➥user i diagnose you with y/n-sexuality it’s incredibly common in humans

liked by lando.jpg

oscarpiastri you two are made for each other 😀

➥lando.jpg this sounds like an insult 🙂

➥yninstagram i thought kids under 13 weren’t allowed on ig

➥oscarpiastri you’re not even a year older than me @ yninstagram

mclaren mama y papa

➥ yninstagram still on timeout.

➥ mclaren :(

taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz

© httpsserene2023

[bluejeanstrash]

random thoughts about being in a relationship with seungcheol.

- his card details would be on every single app you have: food delivery, cab service, online shopping, streaming subscriptions, and literally anything else. he wouldn’t even tell you, he’d just take your phone and put it in. use my card to pay for it, put it on my card, why didn’t you pay for it using my card? dude, leave me alone.

- he has a passport photo of you hidden somewhere. no, it’s not where you look cute. it’s ugly as hell and he finds it hilarious so he keeps it on him at all times, never disclosing its location in case you take it back.

- he’d take your shots for you. lost a drinking game? seungcheol’s got you, baby. he wouldn’t even have to look at you, he’d just know you can’t drink anymore. he’d signal to hand it over to him instead and then take it for you, no questions asked. he’s so hot for that.

- 9/10 times he’s falling asleep in front of the tv. don’t even bother watching a movie/tv show with him if it’s afternoon nap time or after 9 pm. he’s OUT

- he doesn’t trust you to take his instagram boyfriend pictures. thinks they don’t look ‘authentic’ enough (he’s literally your boyfriend?)

- he’s kinda gross. i feel like he was really proper at the start of your relationship but after he got comfortable, he really doesn’t care anymore. has he burped right in your face because it’s funny? ummmm, yes.

- he’s quite sentimental. he’d keep really random things from your dates and he really loves when you make him stuff, no matter how small. the fact that you took the time, and made the effort? for him? loves it.

- he baby talks around you so much. like so much. it’s like he can’t help but slip into it when he’s in your presence. baby x 100

- he wants you to steal his clothes so bad. that’s what people are supposed to do in relationships!!! he’s constantly leaving his clothes around so that you steal them but you just can’t. all his stuff is so expensive you low-key feel guilty.

- lastly, an nsfw one. he’d solely masturbate to pictures of you. seungcheol is definitely the kind of guy to be obsessed with his partner and not care about anyone else. you don’t care if he watches porn to get off and he’s tried but it isn’t as satisfying anymore. he’s either going to cum with you or to you.

[mysteryshoptls]

2024-2025 Player Birthday Login Message Lines

These are all the messages that you get from the boys when you log in on the birthday that you set in-game from 18 Mar 2024 to 17 Mar 2025! For those that want to hear them, you can find them in the Archive, under the tab その他　→　監督生バースデー④. (This will not be in your game archives until the birthday you set passes.)

You can find the 2021-2022 Birthday Login Message Lines here! You can find the 2022-2023 Birthday Login Message Lines here! You can find the 2023-2024 Birthday Login Message Lines here!

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. Thanks for always looking out for those two dorm students of mine. Actually, we're planning on hosting a reception this weekend at our dorm. I would like to invite you, as part of your birthday celebration. Heh. My apologies. Looks like that has caused you a little anxiety. No worries, I'll be beside you teaching you the proper manners the whole time.

Ace

Yo, [Yuu]. Happy Birthday― Mmkay, so let's get started on the birthday party. I'm just gonna pop on over to this one restaurant in town and nab some tasty-lookin' stuff! Just chill and wait here at Ramshackle... Hey, c'mon, I ain't tryin' to pull anything over on ya. Sometimes I just want to have a normal celebration too, y'know!

Deuce

[Yuu], Happy Birthday! Let me take you to go buy a prese... Eh? You're saying that I've already given you a present because I fixed the broken lights in Ramshackle the other day...? No way, you don't gotta hold back like that! I want to go all out for my pal's special day. That's what makes me happy.

Cater

[Yuu]-chan, Happy Birthday―☆ Did ya post on Magicam that it's your birthday? Oh, not yet? Then, let Cay-kun here with all his power and wisdom write a post for you! We'll attach a cool photo and some slammin' hashtags... Whaddya think? A perfect gift from me, or what?

Trey

Happy Birthday. So, about your present... I do have one. It's just... I was asking around for what to gift you and in the end, I couldn't really figure out what I should get... So in the end, after being at a loss, I ended up getting you this shirt. I look at it now and wonder what possessed me to pick this pattern... Yeah, I know, it's just laughable.

SAVANACLAW

Leona

Yeah, yeah. Your birthday's come 'round again, hooray. ...What're you doing, setting up a chessboard on the floor like that? You practiced just to win a game against me? Oho, so you're challenging me, then. Look at the pluck on this herbivore. So, what're you willing to bet, then? No way you're gettin' away with just a simple game after throwin' down the gauntlet at me like this.

Jack

So, it's your birthday today. Have you set up any new goals yet? What, you're going to surpass me in our classes? Heh, that's a hilarious joke. You really think you can beat me? But I'll take you on. If you get a better score on our next test, I'll get you some kind of present.

Ruggie

Happy Birthday―! 'N that means, I got you somethin' that's fittin' comin' from an upperclassman like me. Ta-da! A homemade fishing rod～ ...Ah, you totally just thought it's a cheap gift, didn'tcha! But this totally works! I know what it's like to go hungry too, y'know～ You're probably always goin' through things, so if you're ever in a pinch, make sure you use this!

OCTAVINELLE

Azul

A very Happy Birthday to you. Have you thought of a gift you'd like to get for yourself? Please, allow me to procure it for you... ...Oho, you have a keen eye to request something of that caliber. It may be considerably difficult to just anyone to acquire. HOW-EV-ER! If I were to handle it, that is a different situation altogether. I shall definitely make sure to retrieve it for you. Please wait expectantly.

Jade

Happy tidings for your birthday. I do hope this year will be another fruitful year for you. By the way, [Yuu]-san. Have you eaten yet? Oh, not yet, how wonderful. As a matter of fact, I thought I would treat you to something in my own little way. I only offer this with the best of intentions, of course. Fufu.

Floyd

Oh hey, Shrimpy-chan. It's your birthday today, huh. Mmkay, then I'll give you some snacks. I got these strange tastin' gummies, these wicked hard cookies, and some squishy jerky. Awesome, right? I got a ton, but all of them expire today, so. These are my presents to you, so you better eat them all without wastin' any, 'kay?

SCARABIA

Kalim

[Yuu], Happy Birthday! Here's your present, from me to you. Ahaha, did that surprise you? I tried making a pop up birthday card just for you. I also tried making a ton of paper flowers that we use during celebrations back in the Scalding Sands. Don'tcha think they came out real pretty?

Jamil

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. It isn't much, but here's your present. Ramshackle is a fairly old building. I'm sure there are bugs that will find their way in and try to settle down here. However, if you use this, you can rid yourself of all of them in an instant. I can vouch for its effectiveness. Use it as soon as you can.

POMEFIORE

Vil

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. ...You wish for me to come to your party here, at Ramshackle? And to top it all off, you've prepared a healthy menu just for me... Heh, how considerate of you. Very well. I suppose I can make an appearance out of respect for your enthusiasm. I do hope you're honored that I'll be there to celebrate with you.

Epel

Happy Birthday! I put in a lot of thought picking out a present for you. Here ya go, fingerless gloves! Nice design, right? Makes using your phone a lot easier, too. It'll make you look super cool, and the more you use it, the more comfy it'll feel. I hope you use it tons!

Rook

I've been waiting, Trickster. Waiting, that is, to celebrate your birthday with you. A spectacular day requires a spectacular memory. That is why I've come up with a wonderful plan of my own. First, we watch two back-to-back theater performances, then attend a poetry reading, and finally, watch a movie in the evening. There will be no time to rest. Come, we must quickly fly towards the theater!

IGNIHYDE

Idia

Kk, time to pretend we all get along and celebrate a birthday again... Eep!? D-Did you hear that just now...? Uh, so... Happy B-day, I guess... Soz, I don't have a present for you. Didn't even know it was your birthday... What, you're seriously just happy hearing me wish you a happy b-day? [siiigh] Nah, I'll order something small online and have it shipped to Ramshackle sometime later.

Ortho

Happy Birthday! Here's your present. Go ahead and open it! Hehe, you see what I did? I used a laser to engrave a birthday message on a glass tumbler for you. It was a little difficult fine tuning the power adjustment for the more detailed parts, but it came out pretty good, don't you think? I really hope you like it!

DIASOMNIA

Malleus

Child of Man, I see today is your birthday. ...Hm? What's the matter? You look a tad glum. Ah, I see, you are struggling to carry all your presents. Well, allow me to deliver them to Ramshackle with magic in your stead. No need to protest, this is an effortless task for someone like me. You should enjoy your special day to the utmost.

Silver

Happy Birthday. You're curious about this braided cord? It is your present. Lilia-senpai explained it to me thusly... If a string wrapped around your wrist or ankle snaps off on its own, then your wish will be granted. I strung this cord together in hopes that you may have your wishes come true. It may be a tad ill-shaped, but if it pleases you, it is yours.

Sebek

As I recall, today is your birthday... Hm? You want me to come to your birthday party? What poor semblance of a joke. I don't have the spare time to waltz into some human gathering like... WHAT!? MY LIEGE HIMSELF WILL ALSO BE THERE!? THEN SAY THAT FIRST! For goodness' sake, humans like you are just... so thoroughly thoughtless. Hurry and provide me the location and commencement time!

Lilia

Ooh, nice. So today's your birthday. Just look at how big you're getting. ...Khee hee hee. Don't look so downtrodden. It's just me pretending to be a doting gramps. The other guys in my dorm don't ever let me joke with them like that. And so, I have a present for you. Here, a CD of my performances, specially made! Take this and enjoy my raging screamo music with your whole heart and body.

OTHERS

Crowley and Rollo do not have new lines. Theirs are repeated from last year's.

Grim

Today's your birthday, huh. Happy Birthday to you! ...Huh? Do I got a gift for ya? What're ya even saying? Shouldn't ya be happy enough that you're my number one favorite henchie? Fiiine. Guess I can use my paws to pad you a massage sometime. Wouldn't want to hafta sit in a hard and uncomfy lap, after all!

Crowley

Ta-daaa! What do you suppose this could be? That’s correct, it’s an exchange coupon for use at the Mystery Shop! You have been a consistent helping hand, so… This is a special gift for you. Happy Birthday. Incidentally, that is only worth 500 madol (5 Thaumarks). It cannot be exchanged for something pricier than that. Please don’t hold it against me.

Crewel

It seemed rather rowdy in here, but now I see it was just you, pup. Are you excited simply because its your birthday? I see, well, in that case, I have a special present just for you. As for what it is... It is a special alchemy homework assignment. You should be happy; you'll be able to improve your skills even further with this, don't you think? Haha, Happy Birthday.

Rollo

Whatever is the matter, [Yuu]-kun? There is a strange glimmer in your eyes… ...Ah, I see. Today is your birthday. A present? Hmph. I hardly think that it should be something you request of others… But no matter. Indeed, birthdays should be treasured. However, what would be an acceptable gift…? I am afraid I’m rather unaccustomed to this. I would hope I do not disappoint you with a poor gift choice.

Fellow

Oh, my, hello there, my learned scholar! I've been searching, and finally, I've found you! I was fervently hoping to wish you well for your birthday. Here, your present. ...As fellows lacking in magical abilities, we should get along together, don'tcha think? Happy Birthday! Fwahaha!

Requested by Anonymous.

[anadiasmount]

Married life with Jude!!

headcannon for jude bc i’ve never done one! hope you enjoy! 🧟‍♀️🤍

masterlist | jude’s masterlist | send requests/ concepts!

would def introduce/call you as “wife” everywhere you go. doesn’t matter where you guys are headed he would so go “this is my wife y/n.” would make me feel so giddy i will not lie 😣😔

kiss your ring finger whenever he pleases, or when he notices you becoming nervous or anxious because he knows how much kisses with you mean. “relax darling, it’s us. me and you.”

have a random argument in the morning and jude being first to apologize bc he one, hates to see you upset bc of him, two due to the fact he hates when you’re not talking to him, and three bc he hates fighting especially with you. “forgive me okay? i didn’t mean it.”

would text you whenever either of you are out to check in, and starts the text with “wife…” or “husband” to remind to pick something up, or send a quick i love you text, to tell you about their days or something funny you guys saw, to say they miss each other. props if they send pictures instead of just texting.

on random occasions would pull out your wedding photos because it’s the most memorable and unforgettable night of his life. would explain to you how he felt in that moment and pull you his chest and tell you he loves you so much.

calls you “mrs. bellingham” to get your attention or walks into the room bc you and him love it. friends and family would make fun of you and you would shy away from it, but jude just smirks bc deep down it’s a reminder to everyone you’re married to him.

the two of you spending every morning together before he leaves for training or away games, having your daily tea/coffee with cookies/biscuits because you hate being apart even if it’s for just a little bit. “gonna miss you so much angel. wait for me so we can grocery shopping okay?”

LATE NIGHT TALKS BECAUSE WHATTT??? i have trouble sleeping at night and he would def stay up with you and you the same with him when you can’t sleep and just talk about kids, pets, friends and family, work, about the old times when you first got together.

brings you your favorite bouquet of flowers when he comes back from away duty, never getting over the fact that you’re married to him. kissing your forehead first and then leaning down to connect your lips together. “your favorite flowers, but you’re my favorite flower beautiful.”

annoys the shit out of you when he’s sick or clingy, begging for you to hold him and kiss his cheeks or temple because you apparently take the pain away. your hands massaging down his back and neck to smooth him, but sometimes he pretends just so he can feel you. “i need my wife to be with me in ‘sickness and in health’ remember?”

when back in england he loves doing date night at late night. takes you on walks after dinner and treats you to ice cream, buys you something to remember the night. his hand on your thigh in the car or around your waist when walking. “look so pretty for me. why are you so beautiful, wife?”

BYE IM SORRY BUT HES THE TYPE TO BUY SHIRTS THAT SAY “my wife” “his wife” and “my husband” “her husband” and force you go to public wearing them because he thinks it’s hilarious. “i’m sorry i can’t. i need a good laugh. please baby? do it for me?”

buys you small presents because he can’t stop spoiling you. “for you my wife. don’t start with that because i have every right to do anything to make you smile.”

would pull up to your work place when you least expect it and wait in your office/ designated area to eat lunch when he’s off. you would tell him all the gossip or topic of the day to reach, and he’s attentively listening because he loves hearing about the silliest thing that occur in your work place. everyone would just stare at the two of you in awe because you are the definition of couple goals.

when you attend his matches you would surprise him with a “his wife #5” jersey and he would smile wide and pull you close after the match ends. he would make fun of you at first but he loves the idea bc he know it’s a reminder to not him but the whole world. “my wife indeed. it’s gonna become my favorite jersey you’ve worn. gotta remind everyone who your husband is right?”

a relationship especially when married isn’t one sided, so the two of you always go above and beyond to make each other happy even if it’s the smallest word or action. squeeze in a cuddle even if it’s not appropriate timing. always communicating about how you to ensure the two of you are okay.

even the smallest glances you send when you’re not together, it’s glances like those that will never fail to put a smile on each others faces. like the of you would be the only humans alive.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

David and Michael in the interview with Ali Plumb for BBC Radio 1, 10th July 2023

I compared it with it's podcast version and there are some bits that are cut out in the video 👀 but I added them into the transcript ❤ 🐍😊 .

AP: If you're thinking I'm the kind of guy that rocks up to a Good Omens interview with...

Michael: With the book.

David: Oh, well done.

Michael: We'd be correct.

AP: Yeah.

[GOS2 Promo]

AP: So after such a successful and well received first series, what gives you guys?

David: Why risk it?

AP: Why risk it.

Michael: What gives you the right?!

AP: What gives you the cojones to do another one?

Michael: I know.

AP: How dare you?

Michael: It's terrible. When I wrote it.... Well, no, I mean, that's the thing, really, I mean, it's Neil and Terry's baby. And we'd always known that they'd gone beyond the world of the first book. In fact, there's stuff that's not in the first book, in the first series. So Gabriel is a character, you know, who's not there. So we'd always known that there was a lot more.

David: The ideas, the threads.

Michael: Exactly. And they even had a name for a sequel. 668: The Neighbour of the Beast. Which is hilarious.

[A cut out part that is not in the video, but you can listen to in the podcast version of it:

AP: Just take, write the joke and then work it out later.

Michael: The best Good Omens joke isn't even in the Good Omens book.

David: Yeah.

Michael: And so we knew there was all that. So I think given that, that gave certainly us the confidence to know that we were in, you know, safe hands.

David: Yeah.

Michael: And I think gave Neil the sense that it was worth exploring, going further, because I think without that, he would never have done it. If he didn't feel that Terry was part of that ride as well, then I don't think he would have gone on it.

]

AP: At the risk of reading from the scripture, this is what's in the hardback copy of Good Omens: 'Why isn't there a sequel? Neil: Well, we know how the sequel goes. We played around with the idea whilst we were on tour. We even discussed a few scenes, but we could never quite work up the enthusiasm. It'd have been fun. We'd split the cash. But we both had other things to do'.

Michael: Yes. It's very much how we felt, isn't it? We'll split the cash.

David: Yeah.

AP: And run.

Michael: You know, and if we got nothing else on.

David: Well, yeah.

Ap: And you kind of enjoy each other's company?

Michael: I mean, enjoy is a strong word.

David: We're very good at faking it.

AP: Actors. I love it.

David: Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Michael: Yeah, exactly.

AP: When, outside of a show's context or the film's context, have you felt physically, visually the silliest? Because I think in this show there have to be moments. Green screen, full orange wig hair, that you go, no one take a photo of me right now.

David: The opening scene of Season Two is set in space and we're dressed as sort of old fashioned-

Michael: That makes it sound like sort of an episode of Blakes 7 or something, it's not Sci-Fi space, is it?

David: There's nothing wrong with that.

Michael: No, there's nothing... I mean I love it.

David: Jesus,

AP: Are you stepping up saying Sci-Fi's rubbish at this-

Michael: No, no, no! Of course not! No. But what I'm saying is-

David: I don't know who this is

Michael: David is making it sound like it's like Aziraphale and Crowley are in a rocket ship.

David: It is set in space!

Michael: Well, yeah.

David: First series set in space! You can't... it's just factual.

Michael: But not like space 1999.

David: Just space.

AP: It's pure, undiluted space.

David: It's set in space. In fact, it is undiluted space. And for that, we were dressed as a traditional angel in a sort of nighties...

Michael: Yes, we weren't in silver spandex.

David: We were in nighties.

Michael: We were.

David: And we were strapped to make this floating in space - and they didn't have this on Blakes 7 - we were strapped onto these gurneys and moved up and down.

[hehe bonus pic :)]

Michael: I had a jetpack.

[again, cut out in the video but present in the podcast version

David: I mean, it looks beautiful. The finished, the finished piece.

Michael: It was very odd, wasn't it? Yes. We were both sort of just like.

David: Yes.

Michael: Hovering around each other.

David: And it was, it was ignoble. Some of the being strapped in and out.

Michael: It was. Yeah.

]

AP: At least it's not Jon Hamming into a room... full Hamm.

[GOS2 Promo]

[again, cut out in the video but present in the podcast version

David: The naked Hamm? The naked Hamm was... yeah. He seemed pretty...

Michael: He seemed very relaxed.

AP: He insisted on spending more scenes in that costume.

]

Michael: That was never in the script.

David: No, he just turned up on set.

Michael: That's how he showed up.

David: I had an idea, guys!

Michael: Yes. No, there's lots to look forward to.

AP bursts out laughing: Sorry.

Michael: And lots to look back on.

AP: This second series, having a little bit more wiggle room in terms of where you might be able to take the characters, I think it's fair enough to say. Do you feel more active input.

[again, cut out in the video but present in the podcast version

AP: Into where they might go? Because to me, they strike as having a very strong Woody and Buzz factor of...

David: Right.

AP: Bear with me here. You're both not very good at your jobs.

David: How dare you?

AP: It's true. One's no angel. One's far from evil.

David: That's true.

AP: And you kind of are fudging it constantly.

]

AP: Do you feel you have more room to kind of fudge here and fudge there and really muck about with the characters now?

Michael: I mean, I every day when we start, I like to first of all say, Neil, I've got no interest in hearing what you're going to say. This is what I think should happen.

David: Yeah.

Michael: I mean, the thing is, when you've got Neil Gaiman writing it-

David: Yeah.

Michael: -you should have just go, off you go, mate.

David: The last thing you want to do is start putting in your ideas. You don't want to limit anything that's going to come out.

Michael: It's like brain. It's like when Ringo says, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

AP: Yesterday, I have notes.

Michael: Listen, listen to what I've come up with.

AP: There's too much guitar in this.

David: Yeah.

AP: More drums.

David: Yeah.

Michael: Yeah. I think one of the things about Neil that is so wonderful is that he is so open and generous with ideas,

David: Yes.

Michael: and he's so not precious about what he's written. He is very respectful of what he and Terry created and is probably a bigger fan than any other fan, but he's not precious about it and he's very open to collaboration. In fact, he's probably the most collaborative

David: Yes.

Michael: I'd ever come across in my life.

David: Yes, absolutely.

Michael: So he loves watching what other people bring to the table, not just actors, but, you know, designers, everyone. And then I think he takes from that and is influenced by that. So it's very collaborative in that sense.

David: Yes. But if we influenced where the characters went in season two, it was sort of circumstantially.

AP: Right.

Michael: Yeah.

David: It was sort of by the act of what happened during season one and getting to know Neil and getting to know each other. But the great joy for us is turning up to these wonderful scripts and going, oh, I get to take this character here now. What a lark.

[again, cut out in the video but present in the podcast version

Michael: I mean, I wrote some very stern emails to him.

David: Yeah.

Michael: Which I was glad to see that he totally ignored.

AP: Screen time for me.

Michael: Yes, exactly.

AP: I like to think the 'I was right, or rather, you were right and I was wrong' dance was organic in the moment, not in the script. And could you give us a quick how might I recreate that beautiful...

David: Absolutely not. No. I worked with the choreographer for some days.

Michael: It's true.

David: Yeah.

Michael: It's true. And am I right in saying that... I wonder if this exists? But when we were filming it, didn't I, on the last take, I made you do it once with you thinking that you were doing it for real, but actually it wasn't for real. It was just so I could do.

David: It was so you could have-

Michael: So I could Strictly Come Dancing [british dance contest]-

David: Exactly that. Does it exist? I think it does exist.

Michael: It must have actually built... I had cards made with scores on them and David, God bless him, came in and did the whole thing again, thinking that he was doing it for the filming. And in fact, it was literally just so at the end I could go, 'SEVEEEEEEN'! [It was filmed, hehe, see here :)]

David: Yeah. But I don't want Amazon to think we're wasting your production...

AP: Money and time. No.

David: And it will show up on a blooper reel somewhere.

Michael: There was no film. There was no film.

AP: It was definitely not a waste of time. No, absolutely not.

]

AP: What would you say the fans have responded most to from the first series when you meet them at comic cons or on social media or what have you? Are there moments from the first series where they love talking about that scene?

Michael: Well, I think people really enjoy the going through history stuff, don't they? I mean, we thoroughly.

David: We certainly do. There's just something about the characters and their relationship, though, that seems to have just caught fire. I mean the amount of...

AP :I won’t read some ot the stories I’ve glanced upon.

David: Right.

AP: Yes. Fanfiction is quite….

David: Oh, I see. Oh that is not for us to read.

Michael: Oh I read it all.

AP: Oh you should. You write most of it, right?

Michael: I write most of it.

David: But it's lovely to see. And I have seen more than I can count. Aziraphale and Crowleys showing up. People dressed and always in twos, always in pairs.

Michael: Yes.

David: You know, and that's lovely. And that seems to absolutely encapsulate what the whole show is about, I think.

AP: Tattoos, fan art.

David: Definitely, yes. Seen a couple of tattoos.

Michael: Yeah.

AP: Yeah. Do you get fans in the street quoting lines or just pointing and staring? Because you two together can't really walk down the street.

David: Michael doesn't walk anywhere.

Michael: Those days are long gone.

AP: Jackpack.

David: Yeah.

Micheal: Yeah.

AP: Yeah, that's fair.

Michael: Well, I get a lot of ‘To the world’.

David: Oh, yes. Nice.

Michael: People like to… yeah.

David: Yeah.

Michael: And 'You go too fast, Crowley.’

David: Ooh.

Michael: There’s a lot of that. That gets jumped around.

AP: What about... and this is a kind of BAFTA winning question, so just send it my way.

David: Wow.

AP: Would you say these characters are in your top three most fun characters you've ever played? Because they strike me as being... I'd probably play these characters forever if I could.

Michael and David: Yeah.

Michael: This is like on what's that show when people have to say whether they want to date each other again? You go first. Top three?

David: I mean...

AP: Number two...one?

David: It'd be a weird scenario to say it wasn't.

AP: Yeah, I agree.

David: In this situation.

AP: Yeah.

David: To start something: well, I mean, it's sort in the little twenties. But... No, we did have an irresponsible amount of fun.

Michael: Yes. Not really like working.

AP: No.

Michael: I mean, I very much hope that we eventually get to, in one way or another, in one form or another,

David: Yeah.

Michael: get to play them just very, very old. And it may well be... I mean, we joke about doing a theatrical tour.

AP: And swapping.

David: I'm not joking. I'm not joking about that.

Michael: No.

David: It's a lovely little retirement plan.

Michael: I know.

AP: I'm dead keen on Good Omens 666. I think...

Michael: Oh!

AP: It's just there.

Michael: Yes.

David: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

AP: Think about it. Post apocalyptic...

Michael: Part, like Good Omens 1, 2, 3, all the way up to 666. I mean, that's a long running series. That's longer than Frasier.

AP: Big words. If a bad joke's worth telling. 666.

Michael: Telling over and over again.

AP: Over and over and over.

David: Yeah.

AP: Guys, I'm going to ask you one last favour as I wrap things up, which is I have at the front of this book, one Mr. Neil Gaiman.

[shows a copy of Good Omens signed by Neil Gaiman].

AP: He signed it and he said as he often does: Ali, have a good doomsday. Would you care to deface?

Michael: I heard the other day that someone went to interview George Harrison and the person who interviewed him said, would you mind signing this record? Whatever it know, the white album, whatever. And he went, do you want them all? And they used to all write each other's name, all sign each other's names.

David: Wow.

Michael: Because they had to do it so much.

David: Do you want to do mine?

Michael: Just get Neil to do that.

AP: Could you please sign as your man? I'll be very lucky.

Michael: On a different page.

AP: You pick your own page, deface as you will.

Michael: Yeah. Look at that. I do a little halo.

David: Oh, that's given me an idea.

Michael: Oh look at that, yeah.

AP: And then while I'm here, I'm going to do the super unprofessional thing of asking for a photograph, if that's allowed.

David: Yeah.

Michael: Oh, look at that.

David: That's perfect.

Michael: That's nice, isn't it?

AP: Beautiful. Would you mind helping me out?

David: Do you see what we've done there, Ali?

AP: Oh, thank you!

Michael: And yours is D for...

AP: I'm going to kneel behind you.

David: Sure.

Michael: I thought I should turn my M into wings.

David: Oooh.

Michael: This is, this is...

AP: Guys, as you may have worked out, big fan.

David: Cheers, Ali.

[masonmontz]

hello :) it’s been a while, uh? i just wrote that this morning bc i’m working on some big fics and i still haven’t finished them

smut (blowjob) word count: 1,6k

✦‎۟ ࣭ ⊹

“I'm exhausted, I wish I could sleep in our bed in Manchester right now” Mason grumbled as he turned off the car in front of his parents' house.

“Tomorrow we'll go back, dear, and you know your mother will be happy with you here” You spoke and leaned towards Mason to kiss him, bringing your hand to his neck to hold him against you.

Mason was doing a lot of things during the day while he was in London, he had meetings with some brands in the morning, lunch with Declan, in the afternoon he had a photo shoot and now he still has dinner at Debbie's house. Even speaking has become a difficult task, because it requires a lot of effort.

Mason moaned as you kissed his neck and you smiled, then realized that it was one of those days that Mason would be completely surrendered to you.

“Please, let's go in or we'll have to leave” he said.

Debbie opened the door smiling, hugging Mason for almost a minute while telling him how handsome he was and that she had missed him. Even as an adult, Mason is still the baby of the family and it is hilarious.

“Y/N, I missed you too sweetheart. Wow, you are so beautiful” you smiled as you hugged her, ‘cause Debbie was just as special and important to you as the rest of Mason's family.

“We missed you too, Mason and I were alone in that huge city.”

Everyone was already there, Lewis and his boyfriend, Jaz with the children, and as always only Stacey was not present because she was on the other side of the world.

Mason was quickly sitting on the floor coloring with Summer and Mila, who was now able to say a few words and communicate. Summer played an excellent big sister.

Debbie had prepared lasagna for dinner and soon you were all eating, Mason sat in the last place at the table against the wall and you sat next to him, and he stayed away cause he was tired and didn't want to talk too much during dinner.

“Y/n, do you already know if you'll be able to travel with us next month?” Jaz asked, because it was her birthday and she was organizing a girls' trip, and even Stacey was coming.

“Yes, I'm looking forward to getting to know Spain.” Mason was quiet beside you and you looked at him, and he just gave you a tired smile.

You placed your hand on his leg, stroking it lightly, a way to comfort Mason, just like he did with you.

“Oh, I think we're going to see some beautiful beaches, I'm really excited. I'm also excited for Sam to take care of the girls on his own.”

Jaz looked at her husband who shrugged, still a little scared about taking care of Summer and Mila alone.

You still had your hand on Mason's leg, and when you realized, Mason took his hand under the table and pulled your hand towards his crotch slowly. You were taking a sip of wine and almost drowned, but you tried to hide it.

Mason was tired, but you didn't know he was so needy after an exhausting day. You slowly slid your hand down his cock, trying not to let anyone notice, and Mason leaned against the table, taking advantage of the fact that no one was talking to him.

Mason was getting hard, so you quickly took your hand away from him and volunteered to help Debbie clear the table. Mason sighed, sitting for a few more minutes after Tony called him into the living room for them to talk.

“Mom, I'm going to lie down for a bit, I'm tired and I'm not feeling well” he said and Debbie agreed, so Mason quickly left the kitchen so no one would see anything.

Fifteen minutes later you told Debbie that you were going to check on Mason to see if everything was okay, so you quickly walked upstairs to the last room in the hallway which is Mason's old room.

You walked in and Mason was lying on his stomach, you closed the door without locking it and approached him, who opened his eyes and looked at you.

“You good, babe?” You asked and sat on the edge of the bed, then Mason turned around and you almost whistled when you saw the bulge in his pants. “Wow, you pervert, your whole family is here.”

“I've tried thinking of the weirdest things possible and it just hurts more” he complained, bringing his hand to his own cock and stroking it through the fabric. Poor boy, so needy and hard.

You licked your lips as you watched Mason trying to relieve himself, feeling your own body heat up as you realized how sore he must be and how much he needed relief.

“Do you want help, dear?” You asked and brought your hand to Mason's, stroking his cock along with his hand that began to make quick movements because he desperately wanted to cum.

“Please” Mason groaned, and then he opened the button and zipper of his pants, and you managed to put your hand inside to feel his cock, hard as a rock. “I'm so hard and I don't have the strength to fuck you today, love.”

“Shh, I'll take care of you.”

You knelt on the floor and Mason sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed as you pulled his pants and underwear down, but didn't take them off. He didn't even bother to take off the white shirt he was wearing.

Your mouth watered when you saw his pink cock dripping, with the veins pulsing. It was truly a sight that would keep anyone awake at night.

Mason brought his hand back down to his cock and jerked off hard, and you just pulled away quickly to tie your hair into a messy ponytail before pushing his hand away.

“Let me do this” you whispered and Mason closed his eyes, supporting himself on the bed with his elbows while you contoured his cock with your hands and moved it up and down slowly. “So needy, baby.”

“Please I need to cum, Y/n” he whispered in despair, his breathing quickening.

You brought your mouth close to his cock and licked it from the base to the top. Mason threw his head back, biting his lips to keep from moaning.

His cock throbbed once more and you finally took it into your mouth, and then used one hand to push Mason back against the mattress so he could just relax.

You made quick movements with your mouth and used your hand to masturbate what didn't fit in your mouth, and in a few seconds Mason was already restless and desperate.

“Oh… Oh my God.”

Mason lifted his head to look at you once more, and your gaze met his for a few seconds before he closed his eyes again and let his head fall back onto the mattress. Mason wouldn't last long and you knew it, which was great because someone could arrive at any moment.

You made quick movements with your mouth and sometimes you just left licks all over the length, blew on the wet tip or licked his balls, which was when Mason moaned against his own arm so as not to make noise.

“Good?” you asked and Mason just moaned in response, then when he started pressing his hips up you knew he was going to cum, because his movements became desperate.

“Please, Y/N, I’m going to cum” he put his hand over his mouth to keep from moaning, and then you brought your hand down to the base of his cock again and made quick movements. Mason contracted his abdomen and you felt his cock throb in your mouth before feeling the liquid hit your throat.

You took his cock out of your mouth but didn't stop your movements as Mason came, and he came a little in your mouth and a little on his belly when he pulled his shirt back so it wouldn't get dirty.

Mason was breathing heavily as he was still cumming, and you didn't think he had cum this much in all the times you had sex.

“Feeling better?” You asked and got up, throwing yourself next to him on the bed, his eyes closed and a small smile on his face.

“Thank you for helping me, love” he mumbled and you ran your fingers over his stomach, feeling him squirm, then you took the fingers with his cum to your mouth and then leaned in to kiss him.

“You don't have the strength to fuck me but I hope you have the strength for me to sit on your face because I'm so horny right now I feel like I'm going to explode.”

“We can do that when we get to my flat.”

You helped Mason clean himself with a wet wipe that was in the room, probably because of the kids, and he quickly put his clothes back on and continued lying down. You sat next to him and leaned in to kiss him once more.

“Y/n? Mason?” your eyes widened when you heard Debbie call you and open the bedroom door that you forgot to lock when you entered. “Hey, are you feeling better darling?”

“Yes mom, I'm better. Y/N and I are going down soon” he replied as you avoided looking at Debbie out of embarrassment.

She nodded and closed the door again, and you and Mason looked at each other and started laughing when you realized anyone could have walked in.

“Oh my God, that was close” you said and Mason agreed, laughing with you.

“Imagine if she had come sooner, we would be screwed.”

“Shall we go?”

“Yes honey, we still have a session for you to sit on my face at home.”

[triplefrontierbabe]

Daniel Ricciardo smau

pairing: f!reader x Daniel Ricciardo

warnings: use of yn (sorry), suggestive themes, alternate universe, depictions of smoking

disclaimer: photos from Pinterest and/or Instagram, I take no credit for the photos

yourusername

liked by enchante , lilymhe and 567,945 others

yourusername visited the ratatouille cinematic universe 🐀🇫🇷

view 146 comments

lilymhe so cool they made a whole city based on a movie 😍

↳ danielricciardo don’t feed her delusions plz 😩

haileesteinfeld baby’s first Parisian cigarette 🥹

↳ yourusername and my last 😵‍💫

dr3fan omg I knew yn was my fave wag for a reason

f1wagupdates the harry styles pic is so hilarious lmfao

danielricciardo are you a tower? cause Eiffel for you :)

↳landonorris Danny Ric pickup line domination could bore fans

↳ yourusername lmao bye

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1 , oscarpiastri and 1,563,820 others

danielricciardo city of love with my love

view 563 comments

yourusername wearing enchante like you know how to speak French 🙄

↳ danielricciardo weird way to say i love you but okay

honeybadgerfan ugh when will it be my turn 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

landonorris bros either got massive hands or that’s just a really tiny cup

↳ danielricciardo you know which one 😉

↳ yourusername in front of my espresso?!😦

joshallenqb bring back Ricallen some LV swag 🙏

↳ danielricciardo bringing Allen some LV swag too

charles_leclerc la vie en rose!

↳ danielricciardo idk what that means

alex_albon how much did she pay you to go to the museum with her 🤣

↳ yourusername it took copious amounts of pain au chocolat

yourusername

liked by visacashapprb , francisca.cgomes and 749,034 others

yourusername I said “I want to go to the spa” but Danny heard “I want to go to Spa” 🧖‍♀️🏎️🇧🇪🧇

view 372 comments

francisca.cgomes this has also happened to me😔🤚

↳ yourusername I think we owe ourselves a spa day with massages and manicures 🙂‍↕️

danielricciardo okay so I missed the “the” 🙄🙄

danielricciardo also the spa doesn’t have waffles but Spa does so I think that’s what counts

maxverstappen1 Daniel’s an old man, you can’t always count on him hearing things correctly

↳ danielricciardo did the bottle of wine mean nothing to you?!?!

f1waggossip of course she would complain about being at a race

↳ dricdefender girl take a joke

danielricciardo

liked by georgerussell63 , valtteribottas and 2,648,749 others

danielricciardo great weekend in Spa. Got some points and waffles 😋🧇🇧🇪🏎️

view 794 comments

maxverstappen1 cheeeeeers 🍷🚁

↳ danielricciardo cheeeeeeeers

yourusername GIRL. GET UP.

↳ landonorris he’s so down

↳ danielricciardo IM UP

↳ yourusername yeah in a helicopter with max

visacashapprb we love weekends that result in Doints

↳ f1fan omg vcarb admin is on it

dannyriclover he’s so hot in that first pic 🤤

↳dannyfearic yn is so lucky

yourusername

liked by haileesteinfeld , tatemcrae and 1,004,732 others

yourusername summer break getaway in Austin 🧡🤠🌅 (last pic is Danny mansplaining waterfalls to me </3)

view 1,784 comments

landonorris at least it wasn’t maxplaining

↳ yourusername a win is a win

↳ maxverstappen1 I’m hurt 😞

↳ danielricciardo it’s okay hun she didn’t mean it

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lilymhe little cutie cowgirl

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tatemcrae my queeeen

↳ yourusername MY queeeen

danielricciardo she doesn’t skip glutes day 🙏🍑 (I’m looking respectfully)

↳ yourusername I’m gonna have to fact check that

gossipf1wags wait I love this aesthetic

danielricciardo

liked by charles_leclerc , liamlawson30 and 2,895,894 others

danielricciardo couldn’t wait till October to be back in Austin 🤘🤠🌻

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yourusername I need a moment

↳ maxverstappen1 me too

↳ yourusername 👉🚪

dannysnumber1fan thank you yn for the last pic we all say in unison

visacashapprb likely place for the Honey Badger to be 🍯🦡

georgerussell63 lad’s coming for my brand 😂

↳ danielricciardo I learn from the best 🤣

oscarpiastri thanks for the reminder that I should work on evening out my tan

beatsbydre not pictured: Ricallen gallivanting in the distance 🐎⚡️

joshallenqb yeehaw

↳ danielricciardo we should get another horse

↳ haileesteinfeld NO

↳ yourusername what she said ^^

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Click here to view my Masterlist

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[kitasgloves]

"Bound"

tracklist

— ♬ "You realize how fine she is. She's just what you've been looking for"

— ♬ Ushijima x Reader, SFW, timeskip, fem reader, strangers to friends to lovers, no beta

Usually, Ushijima Wakatoshi left no room for miscalculation. For a long time, he lived with logic and facts. He made no unnecessary actions and did what he thought was fit. He received comments calling him some robot, he understood where it came from but never understood if it was supposed to be a form of insult or harmless teasing. Nonetheless, he paid no attention to it. On the other hand, Ushijima received countless compliments regarding his looks and appreciated it to a certain extent. However, others had way more time in their hands to waste screaming deranged sentences about how they were 'down bad' or 'thirsting' over his physical physic. Ushijima doesn't want to elaborate further on how he felt about those sides of his fanbase.

The athlete had a stable support system from his father and friends, he's endlessly grateful for their support. Ushijima found himself contented with the people he surrounded himself with, he wasn't the kind to linger in crowds but rather the crowd tended to linger around him. After all, he was a famous athlete so he thought it was natural. People often approaching him for photos or autographs wasn't out of the norm but when you decided to approach him one evening, Ushijima was admittedly astonished.

"Hello"

You started with a mere hello. Ushijima peered to his left and saw you standing there with your glimmering dress and lipgloss shining under the chandelier lights. Tonight was an official gathering for Volleyball athletes, the program ended thirty-five minutes ago and everyone was free to scatter around and enjoy the evening. Fortunately, interviewers or the annoying paparazzi weren't allowed inside the venue.

"Hello"

Ushijima greeted back, he thought it was only polite. He didn't recognize you so you weren't an athlete, perhaps you were one of the staff, or maybe one of the organizers of the event.

"I'm [Surname] [Name]"

"Ushijima Wakatoshi"

"Oh, I know. Everybody knows the famous UshiWaka"

Then he learns your name and he instinctively replies with his. Of course, you knew him and he's used to people knowing who he was. Fame doesn't phase him. But what strikes him as perplexed is why you have decided to approach him.

"Would you like an autograph or a photo?"

"Oh, no thank you! I was wondering if you fancy chatting with me"

"Hm"

He hummed, he thought it was harmless. He finishes his champagne and waits for you to talk, but you only stare at him through your thick lashes and sweet smile. Were you waiting for him to speak first? Now, he has no problem with that but he has to admit that he doesn't do it often. Ushijima adjusts his bowtie and clears his throat.

"How are you finding this evening?"

"Great! I hope you enjoyed your time here"

"Everything is well"

You nodded but didn't reply after. Ushijima finds it odd that his mind is scrambling to keep the conversation alive knowing he could stop talking if he wishes to and wait for you to walk away. But somehow, he doesn't want you to leave. So, the athlete racks his clever mind for anything to say to make you stay longer.

"Do you like chocolates, [Surname]-san?"

"Yes, I do"

"What do you think about volleyball?"

"I think it's a fantastic sport"

He asks you innocent questions to get you to open up and surprisingly it keeps the conversation going. Later, you start spurring hilarious stories about your friends and he'll take note of every detail. You'd share about the music you listen to and he finds your music taste similar to his as he'd share his input about his favorite songs. You and he talked and talked until the venue slowly emptied. You found your cue to leave but Ushijima frowns at that, he insists on walking you out and calling a ride for you.

"You're incredibly sweet, Ushijima-san"

"You can call me Wakatoshi"

"Okay, Wakatoshi"

You winked and Ushijima felt his chest flutter. He opened the car door for you as you waved him goodbye. He wonders when will he see you again because he keeps thinking about you that evening until his head rests on his pillow. He had no idea where to contact you until he brought your name up to Kuroo Tetsuro and by his luck, you happened to be his co-worker. Ushijima had a hold on your number within seconds thanks to Kuroo.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"This is Wakatoshi"

Ushijima can hear you gasping and falling out of your chair dramatically. There were a few chaotic noises on the other line until he heard your voice again. His chest flutters like it did previously.

"Hi! Did you need something? How did you get my number?"

"I got it from Kuroo"

"That sly cat..."

"I was wondering if you're free to eat dinner with me tomorrow evening"

"You want to eat dinner with me...?"

"Yes"

"Oh, what an honor! Sure! I'll go"

Your answer makes the corner of Ushijima's lips quirk up, it was so unusual that even he was taken aback. He consulted with Tendou Satori afterward via phone call and told him everything, he asked if he did the right thing. His best friend only laughs.

"Just do whatever makes your heartbeat go faster, Wakatoshi-kun"

Ushijima didn't understand it at first but when he finally sees you that evening, his heartbeat spikes up. You were wearing one of those dresses that makes him gulp. When you wrap your hand around his arm and go inside the restaurant, Ushijima gets the similar feeling he gets when he's playing on the volleyball court. During dinner, he notices your finer qualities. And the magic of your rare personality.

When dinner is finished, Ushijima lends you his coat when the evening gets windy. You keep his coat until he takes you home. That evening you reached to the tip of your toes to peck him on the cheek before softly shutting your door. Ushijima stood in front of the door, rigid. His hand creeps up to his cheek where you have kissed him. Suddenly, his face feels warm and his chest palpitates wildly. If he hadn't known any better, he thinks he's going down with something.

But he knew what this was. He has read the shoujo mangas Tendou was recommending to him and watched the romcoms available on his television. Ushijima was falling in love. It seemed so foreign yet natural to experience it for the first time. He never prioritized romance during his high school days, having a girlfriend never crossed his mind. However, when you came into the picture, he thought he wouldn't mind having you as his girlfriend.

Ushijima takes his time to woo you, to see if you could return his feelings. He took you to meet his friends, he asked you to have dinner with his father, and he'd even gone far as to bring you to Paris with him to visit Tendou. On the trip back to the country, Ushijima knew he was head over heels for you. He asks what your sign is and he'll find you two are compatible. He realizes how fine you are. You were just what he was looking for.

Everything you did affected him greatly, you plagued his mind with your smile and scent, and he couldn't imagine another lifetime where he didn't meet you. So, as he asked you out on an aquarium date, he specified it was a date and not just one of your random hangouts, and you said yes, Ushijima felt so happy that he could do twenty sets of a volleyball match.

His cheeks ached from smiling as you pointed out every sea creature you saw and yelled out its name. His phone gallery was filled with pictures of you in every moment. When he admires the colorful jellyfish with you, he sucks in a breath and snakes a hand around your back. His heart skips a beat when you lean against him.

"Isn't this nice?"

"It is. I want to do this with you all the time"

"Me too, 'Toshi"

"[Name]?"

"Yeah?"

"I like you"

You turn your head to face him and giggle. Ushijima couldn't deny it, he was bound to falling in love. He was bound to fall in love with you.

"I like you too, 'Toshi"

"So, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Of course, ya goofball!"

When Ushijima looks at you it is visible in his eyes. He was beyond lovestruck with you. From the tenderness in his features and the brightness of his smile. His heart wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

©kitasgloves (do not steal or copy)

[1997devil]

watch me

pairing: jww x fem reader

w.c.: 2.4k

warnings: consensual filming during sex, oral (f receiving), dirty talk & praising

if there ever were a place on earth like what the books described heaven, wonwoo would think it to be your bedroom.

it’s not the place you spent your childhood in, but it’s your private bedchambers you decorated all by yourself to your heart’s content. if there were a place that was you embodied, it would be here in this very room. he loves all the little details you store in every peeking corner. he recalls the way the door lock so often let loose on its own–a product of the old but sturdy building you resided in–, the way the plain white curtains flutter as the breeze let itself in from the window you popped open in the mornings, the way the fairy lights strung over your headboard painted a glow on you as you lounged about wrapped in his arms, talking to him about anything and everything.

nothing could ever disturb you when you were here. wonwoo liked the idea of that. of you having a safe space, a place for you to rest and let loose, and he was utterly grateful you let him step into your safe haven and shared it with him willingly.

you’d opted for a night in this day, sore and tired from the hectic work week you’d gotten wind up in. you called wonwoo earlier in the day to inform him you have the rest of the week off and he said he’d be over once his workday was finished, with your favorite takeout.

you’d clicked on your diffuser when you first returned to your apartment in the evening, casting a sweet lavender scent to waft about your room. you had changed your bedsheets just recently too– wonwoo helped you put it on. once you had dinner settled, you retired to your room, wonwoo trailing at your feet like a sweet clingy kitten. your feet tangled under the covers, laptop on your lap as you laid back to chest, attention half on the screen and half on wonwoo’s skittering touches across your skin.

just as you were about to click open a new tab, you had pressed on the photobooth app by accident. you pulled up rows upon rows of shots of yourself, mostly you at home, some taken secretly at work with your colleagues, then some of you barefaced and some done up–you liked to turn the camera on while you did your makeup, using it as a mirror and a personal log of your days spent.

“can i look at these, baby?” wonwoo kindly asked you, considerate of the fact that you might not be comfortable with sharing these private records with him. you nodded your head, pushing the laptop closer to you so he could see better.

wonwoo hummed as he clicked through the photos. you looked so beautiful. he pressed a kiss for every photo he clicked on, blazing a simmering heat to your cheeks where his lips laid. he found his favorite shot of your collection, your lips pulled into a beautiful grin, eyes scrunched into half moons. you looked genuinely happy, healthy, glowing, like a princess, like the goddess of the moon.

“my beautiful girl,” wonwoo rumbled, the vibration of his voice humming against your body. “is it alright if you send me some of these? i want to keep them, see them everytime i miss you.”

you giggled, telling him of course, sending over your and his favorite shots to his phone. you saw him put a heart to every single one, even creating an album to catalog the photos in, so he could easily access them.

as he was busy tinkering about on his phone, you clicked back to the main screen. you clicked on the camera button, the countdown going off immediately, and wonwoo hadn’t even realised it. you created a hilarious candid of you sneakily smiling as wonwoo remained unaware of the photo op.

you poked his cheek to get his attention back on you, finger racing to click for some new photos. this time he posed for the photo, putting on silly poses and sticking his tongue out. your camera roll soon being overtaken by these couple shots, shots that you would cherish forever.

in a series of photos wonwoo’s kisses travelled from your temple, your cheeks, to the sloped tip of your nose and finally your lips. you barely pulled away from his lips against yours to switch the camera mode to video, hitting record.

you started talking like you were in those beauty videos you enjoyed watching on social media. wonwoo simply watched you talk and wave about the camera, you pretending to introduce your boyfriend to your audience.

it was all too terribly endearing. wonwoo resumed his attack of kisses, distracting you from whatever you were saying, airy giggles floating up with every peck he gave you.

you tipped your head backwards, pressing your lips on his. you easily gave way for his tongue, licking against yours, reaching into your mouth. wonwoo thought you tasted like the strawberry flavored toothpaste you had, the coffee from this morning, and the gum you chewed on to keep yourself awake through your work.

a light moan slipped through as he bit on your lower lip, tugging you closer to him if it were even possible. wonwoo saw the way your eyes began to droop and sweet sounds began to pervade. he knew all the ways to make you feel good and he gave no rest when he wanted to make you sing from his touches.

you didn’t even notice the camera was still rolling when he slowly pushed it off of your lap and to the side, careful to not nudge it with your leg. he slid you down so you were laying on the bed, your fingers rising to nestle in his hair, keeping him pressed to you. wonwoo’s lips slid down to your jaw and neck, pressing butterfly kisses that had you keening in pleasure.

“wonwoo,” you sighed out, feeling a tingle rise deep in your core. you needed him to take care of it.

“hm?” wonwoo responded coyly, hand now tucked under your camisole, running over your waist and tummy. “what is it, darling? does it feel good?”

“yeah,” you breathed. “you always make me f-feel good.”

he recalled the troubles you’d spilled to him earlier, the way your workweek had been physically and emotionally draining. “what do you need, baby?” he lifted his lips for just a moment, tucking your messed up hair behind your ear. you could barely keep your eyes open, your muscles melting into pliance and putty under his touch.

“n-need you, won.”

“where, baby?”

he let his thoughts take over. “here?” he grabbed your breast, fingers pinching and grazing over your nipples, your chest arching into his touch.

it felt good, but it was nothing like what you needed deep in your core. you barely shook your head no, letting his hand travel downwards. he reached out to your thighs, drumming his fingers. “how ‘bout here?” close enough. he knew exactly what you wanted, he just wanted to hear you say it, beg for it sweetly.

“maybe here then?” he cupped the apex between your thighs, warm from the cotton sleeping shorts you had on. there were layers of clothing between his touch and your skin and yet you keened from the pleasure like he was touching you closely.

“does baby like that? baby wants more?” he muttered into your ear, fingers tracing the lips of your pussy. you vocalised your agreement, voice wispy and trembling, like you were worked up.

he rose up to his knees. he tugged off your sleeping shorts and panties easily, leaving you bare from your waist down. he traveled down your body, adjusting the camera so it would capture him settling in between your legs, lips inches away from your already sopping wet cunt.

he started with gentle licks before he dove in with desperate sucks and shoving his tongue into your pussy, fucking your cunt just how you liked it. your skin was damp to touch with your wetness leaking out, and wonwoo’s spit coating your skin down to your inner thighs. he could so easily make you cum with just his light touch and he knew the exact way to work you

up.

he muttered dirty phrases as he kept eating you out, loving the way your taste lingered on his tongue.

“w-wonwoo, shit,” your voice took a higher pitch, signalling your incoming peak. you broke off into mere syllables the closer you got to cumming.

“you g’nna cum, sweetheart? gonna let me taste your come?”

“yeah, ah, i’m so-so close, won, i can’t,” you sobbed, fingers flying to grab at your chest again, fondling with your nipples for extra stimulation.

“you can, baby, and you will,” he licked in between, “come for me.”

it didn’t take long for you to come after he commanded you to. your thighs threatened to press against his head, and wonwoo would simply be happy to die like this, your sweet arousal decadent on his tongue.

he lifted his mouth off of your dripping pussy while you were coming down from your high, slipping in a finger. he marvelled at how wet you were, how easily his finger entered you all the way to his knuckles. he added another digit, scissoring in you, feeling your juices coat his fingers.

“can you take me, baby? got me so hard and now you gotta take care of me, too.”

“yes, i can,” you peered at him through your lashes. your eyes were glazed over, still riding on the orgasm he just gave you.

“that’s my girl,” he slipped his fingers out of your sopping cunt as fast as they went in, tapping the pads on your lips, red and bitten down.

“clean me up first.”

his fingers prodded into your mouth easily, your tongue swirling and sucking around them like a lollipop. you swore wonwoo’s eyes went darker than they already have, breathing heavy, tickling your cheeks.

wonwoo barely pushed down his sweatpants to his thighs, just enough so that his hard cock would jut out. he snidely laughed when your eyes went wide when they landed on his dick, knowing just how crazed you’d become even from just one orgasm and barely any contact aside from his mouth.

he slicked himself up with the juices that shone on your cunt, coating his tip with your come from earlier, barely pushing in. you mewled, hips unconsciously raising to catch his dick and push it in deeper.

“lemme hear you ask f’r it, baby,” wonwoo mumbled, catching each of your wrists in one hand and pressing them to your tummy, holding you down.

you whined, eyes going shut. “i need it, won, i need to f-feel you deep in me, please, i need you t’make me cum, god, i know you will, ple-ase give it to me.”

god, you do so well for him everytime.

he pushes in slowly, the same pace your mouth drops open, sensation of taking him raw never ever settling upon your muscles, blowing your mind to otherworldly proportions.

it didn’t take long for wonwoo’s thrusts to gain speed, him trying to hear more of the noises endlessly spilling out of you. he tucks your arm down, your fingers barely reaching your clit, his fingers above yours, directing you to rub against the sensitive bundle of nerves. the added stimulation makes you yowl, and your pussy tighten up impossibly, wonwoo letting out a few groans of his own that sound straight from a porno.

wonwoo sees your computer that’s still blinking on, camera still rolling. you’re not being loud enough for the microphone to fully pick up on your sounds, but it’s capturing every single thrust he makes and the curve of your body as you try to stave off the pleasure.

“turn around for me, darling,” he requests from you, and it takes you a few seconds to gain recognition of your surroundings, wonwoo’s dick driving you to a drunken haze.

he lets up on your hands, his warm palms grabbing your waist, rolling you over so your stomach lays on the bed. he grabs onto your thighs next, pulling them upwards so your knees are on the mattress, spine curving into a beautiful arch that both you and him know will have you feeling his cock in your gut for days to come.

he continues his pace from earlier. he keeps an eye on the screen, admiring just how wrecked yet beautiful you look, that it was all his doing.

“eyes open, baby,” he groaned, thrusts never letting up, “and look up.”

you barely pried them open, only now registering your laptop that is still turned on, camera still rolling, recording the way your body trembled under wonwoo’s, crackly speakers catching every moan and whimper, shaking with each deep thrust of wonwoo’s hips.

“you like when i film you becoming such a cockslut, hm? should we do this again next time?” he tugs on your shoulder, causing you to straighten up, before dropping both of your bodies down, his head tucked into your neck.

you cannot even say a word in response, letting him talk you into what’s surely the biggest orgasm you’re about to have in however long it’s been.

“don’t worry, babe, never g’nna share this with anyone, you know only i can fuck you like this, right?”

“this way you can see how pretty you look when i fuck your sweet pussy, baby, how gorgeous you are when i make you come.”

you can feel your core impossibly tightening, your whining growing in pitch, sweat dripping down your neck as wonwoo all but pounds into you.

“come for me, baby, then i’ll come too, give you my cum, watch it drip out of you.”

wonwoo comes not long after you do, you not even registering the wet hot kisses he presses to your shoulders as he gently fucks into you to ride you through your orgasm. he slowly lets up on your body, letting you plop down onto your covers, muscles loose and body–and mind– obliterated.

he soothes your tingling skin with his hands, muttering sweet nothings into your ear to keep you awake and conscious, slowly easing you back into reality. he glances at the camera, watching through the screen the way your eyes blink out of your stupor and droop slowly, nearly throwing yourself into a deep slumber.

[fandomfucker]

obsessed w ur rhea ripley imagines !! i wanted to req rhea headcanons with a photographer gf whos pretty well known for her pics on socials and is rly just like a quiet nature girlie if that makes sense .. like imagine if all of a sudden instead of the usual weekly aesthetic photo dump u just see badass rhea shots on the ring LMFAO

I love this one! It's a little short but I think it's cute.

Also, disclaimer-I don't own any of these pictures used and the format is from canva so nobody sue me please😣🤞

Your fans were absolutely baffled

Some of them knew who Rhea was but the rest were all just kinda like “who in the fuck is that” when you started posting her

You're a pretty private person when it comes to your own social media at least so you just didn't say anything about it

Rhea thought this was absolutely hilarious, especially the fact that you never tagged her or WWE or anybody to make a full connection

Obviously people went through who you follow and found Rheas account

Rhea who wanted to continue the befuddlement of your fans and only occasionally posted you, also not ever saying anything

You kinda sprinkled in the pictures to your feed so it wasn't all just Rhea, more of a soft launch than anything but since nobody had any idea it was actually a harder launch than Shourtney

I feel like you have a specific kind of style, no matter what your pictures look like

This is kind of a before and after of your Instagram

People def knew you were dating by now, mainly because of the hearts in your bio but the two of you thought it was funnier to just, never confirm

Until Rhea was questioned in an interview if the two of you were dating

“Yeah.” *Shrug*

Crowd looses their minds

“I FUCKING TOLD YOU”

“How long?!”

“Almost a year.”

“WHAT??!!”

[vigilxnte-shit]

join the tuna team!

ever wanted to join a discord server full of people who share your love for one specific, depressed, hot martial artist with a lot of catholic guilt? do you have other interests such as baldur's gate 3 and musical theatre? if so, the tuna team is the place for you!

the tuna team began with the intention of a server where daredevil writers could unite to share our writing, beta read for each other, and just talk about our favorite blind lawyer/vigilante. since then, it has morphed into a place where we all talk to each other about our lives, share pictures of pets, and scream into the void about everything we love.

the tuna team welcomes anyone of any age (well, any age 18 and over), religion, gender, etc. etc. and we would love to have you! if you want to join, message me your discord username and i'll send you a friend request!

be advised that the server is 18+ and although we love charlie and his characters, we do NOT allow speculation on his personal life. we ask that anyone who joins be respectful of others' pronouns, identity, and boundaries- specifics on this are available upon request!

members of the tuna team:

here is a brief introduction to each current member of the tuna team! i am relatively new to interacting with the DD fandom (i've been a fan since 2022, but only just recently started talking with other fans online) and am frankly stunned that so many cool, talented, amazing writers who i look up to are in this server. everyone in here is inspiring and supportive, and contributes to the great vibe we have going in the server!

~~moderators~~

vienna @vigilxnte-shit: hi, as you may have noticed, this is me. i'm the owner of the server, i'm mostly here to write, talk about husband!matt, and send pictures of my cat, coconut.

brooklyn @jazerno: brooke is my irl best friend and roommate, as well as coconut's technical legal mother. brooke originally joined to be a moderator, but has since fallen for frank castle, as one tends to do.

mar @mar-thewriter: mar is a very good friend of mine who i met via another server of people i love. mar doesn't talk much here, but is a great moderator who i love dearly.

mads @madschiavelique: mads is the one who made our gorgeous get roles channel and is our coding genius. they are the ones to thank for

~~tunas~~

leg @a-leg-without-fear: leg is hysterical and our resident emoji artist. she has created all of our emoji in the server and also the lovely art featured above, as well as countless other fun works!

yuna @yarrystyleeza: yuna is the sweetest person you will ever meet and fun fact: tuna team comes from her name! yuna always has the best headcanons and her oc, madilyn, is DARLING.

sapph aka sunshine @sunflowersandsapphires: sapph is the mama of our server, she is sunshine incarnate and always has the best writing prompts + blesses our eyes with her pets!

hira aka robin @amphitrite-5: hira is a very soft and kind soul who regularly makes everyone's day with her kind words. she's also one of our best gamers and doesn't like to sleep (though really, none of us do)

via @zomtart: via is the #1 frank castle character defender and i have no choice but to respect that. they're hilarious and we love having them in the server!

i cant find mariam's tumblr: i was scrolling through mariam's messages and literally fighting the urge to laugh in the office. mariam is hysterical and our representative elektra fan.

eclipse @ecxlipse: eclipse is the baby of our server (i think) but has sent us plenty of gorgeous art and wonderful matt headcanons, and they always have the best contributions to our conversations!

crys @what-i-call-men: crys is responsible for several of the best, spiciest headcanons that have come about on the server. they also have sent the best photo of themselves wearing a DD mask.

zena @coxology101: zena is a busy bee and running her own server, but when we do hear from them, we get some of the best thoughts and BTS dardevil pictures.

ivy @catholicguiltboi: ivy is hysterical and has blessed is with photos of their son, yoshi (who i think is a lizard but i am not very smart).

pasta @pastafossa: my jaw dropped when i saw pasta wanted to join. they contribute so much laughter, many great ideas, and the best advice to the server and we are thrilled they're here.

sybil @gracethyomen: brooke and i have spent several nights since the server started laughing in our apartment over something sybil has said. they are genuinely one of the funniest people ever.

shiori @shiorimakibawrites: shiori has blessed us with some of the best matt thoughts time and time again. like pasta, their name is so recognizable to me that i was genuinely shocked when they asked to join, but i'm so grateful they did!

bella @bellaxgiornata: you'll be sick of hearing this but i genuinely could not believe bella wanted to join the server. in my eyes, she is like the taylor swift of the daredevil fandom (and for clarity's sake, that is the highest compliment i can give). in the server she constantly has the best ideas and is always so supportive of everything we all write.

lindsay @shouldbestudying41: much like bella, this is someone who i very much look up to and respect in the daredevil community. having her in the server is a blessing and they are insanely good at time management- i'm incredibly amazed by their ability to juggle so much at one time!

we also have a couple without blogs; aspen and paris. they are good irl friends of mine who don't say much, but are a joy to have in the server anyway :)

divider on top by @sister-lucifer

tuna team art by @a-leg-without-fear

[reythenerdypisces]

things that I overlooked in PJO the first time / small, funny things I noticed during my reread

Part 2: Sea of Monsters

there is a lot this time.

this book is so short and it makes up for the length by being hilarious: 

I had nightmares about what Poseidon might turn me into if I were ever on the verge of death - plankton, maybe. Or a floating patch of kelp.

Tyson froze. "Pony!" he cried in total rapture. Chiron turned looking offended. "I beg your pardon?" 

"Um..." I said. "Would this be the super-dangerous prophecy that has me in it, but the gods have forbidden you to tell me about it? Nobody answered. "Right," I muttered. "Just checking." 

"Uh, I like Hercules." "Why?" "Well, because he had rotten luck. Even worse than mine. It makes me feel better."

Annabeth looked at me. "We have to get out of here." "You think I want to be in the girls' restroom?" "I mean the ship, Percy! We have to get off the ship."

Tyson was terrified of them. All throughout the tour, he insisted Annabeth hold his hand, which she didn't look too thrilled about.

"Then why do the gods even let me live? It would be safer to kill me." "You're right." "Thanks a lot." 

A minute later, Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately, she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately, that something was my face. 

As Luke was raising his sword to rally his troops, a centaur shot a custom-made arrow with a leather boxing glove on the end. It smacked Luke in the face and sent him crashing into the swimming pool. and a few moments later: He [Luke] raised his sword, but got smacked in the face with another boxing glove arrow, and sat down hard in a deck chair. Luke can't catch a break from those boxing arrows, it's the funniest thing

2. also so much baby percabeth!! they’re so cute

She'd [Annabeth] emailed me the picture after spring break, and every once in a while I'd look at it just to remind myself she was real and Camp Half-Blood hadn't just been in my imagination. the fact that he printed out Annabeth's photo? 

Annabeth punched him in the nose and knocked him flat, "And you," she told him, "lay off my friend." her standing up for Percy is adorable

I mean she [Annabeth] looked good. Really good. I probably would've been tongue-tied if I could say anything except reet, reet, reet.

She [Annabeth] started to sob - I mean horrible, heartbroken sobbing. She put her head on my shoulder and I held her. Fish gathered to look at us - a school of barracudas, some curious marlins. Scram! I told them. They swam off, but I could tell they went reluctantly. I swear I understood their intentions. They were about to start rumours flying around the sea about the son of Poseidon and some girl at the bottom of Siren Bay. number 1. the way percy is always there for her, number 2. the gossiping fish?? I love it

The look in his [Grover] eyes told me something was terribly wrong. Annabeth had been on guard duty that night, protecting the Fleece. If something had happened -he’s admirably protective, of not just annabeth, but all his friends and I love to see it… exhibit b:

"But if I [Grover] get in trouble again, you'll be in danger, Percy! You could die!" "If you get in trouble again, I want to know about it. And I'll come help you again G-man. I wouldn't have it any other way." I adore their friendship.

3. other mentions: 

"I'm Thalia," the girl said. "Daughter of Zeus." what. an. ending. I still remember how floored I was when I first read this wow

the mention of Hylla got me so excited

am I the only one who forgot Percy could control the sailboat? like the flying ropes and whatnot

I also completely forgot about his watch shield! 

I'll be back for part 3 shortly! :)

[blushweddinggowns]

“I know I have something clean in here!”

Eddie watched him, half amused and half exhausted. He leaned his head back against Steve’s bed, crossing his legs on the floor. He was dripping wet and freezing, impatiently waiting for Steve as he dug through his closet. He didn't know what he expected to find when ninety-nine percent of his clothes were on the floor of Eddie's room.

See, shit like this is why they always hang out at Eddie and Wayne's new place, instead of this certifiable mansion. Besides the fact that Steve liked to be as far from his house as possible, it took away some options for them to do dumb, impulsive shit. Like dragging each other into his pool, fully clothed at 2 am. 

In November. 

If it wasn't for the stupid fumigation at his apartment, they would be dry and asleep by now, or at least dry and giggling throughout the night. He also wouldn't be trying to think of an excuse to sleep in Steve’s bed, with all of these stupid guest rooms. It was so easy at his place, with its uncomfortable couch and shitty heater. It took almost nothing to convince Steve to sleep with him every night.

He sighed, shamelessly staring at Steve from behind and thanking the powers that be he decided to wear white tonight. He could make out all of the muscles in his back through the transparent fabric, cold water still dripping from his hair. He was too beautiful for his own good, or Eddie was just obsessed. 

Probably both. 

Maybe Eddie should use this as an opportunity to get used to being without him. This little game he was playing could only last so long after all.

He knew he was monopolizing Steve's time, like an ass, and he’d been doing it for months. Ever since he was out of the hospital, the two had been inseparable. No one even called Steve's house anymore, half the time when Eddie answered the phone it was Robin or one of the kids asking for Steve. 

There's yet to be a time when he wasn't there. 

Hell, even before that. The little saint had been there for every step of his recovery, bringing him books, music, and his own adorable self. His little crush on Steve had grown into a full-blown infatuation. He was all he could think about anymore. 

Steve was just so…him. Self-sacrificing, hilarious, disturbingly attractive, Eddie had been doomed from the start. Eddie became the one who picked Steve up from work and dropped him off, deciding that he deserved to be chauffeured around for a change. 

Steve became the one waiting for him at home from his dealings, cooking food for him and his uncle, always reassuring him that he wasn't a bad person and it was temporary, just until he had enough cash to leave this hellhole. He wasn't sure how he was ever going to leave without Steve, but he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. Or he would just stay in a town that loathed him until Steve moved on with his life. 

Whatever came first. 

They just fell into each other, like they had been best friends all along. And maybe he was tricking himself, just building up a mountain of false hope, but from his view, Steve loved their time together just as much as Eddie did.

Steve had been the one to press himself against Eddie's chest on that first night, sleepily putting Eddie’s arm around him with a soft, "I'm cold."

Steve was the one who would spend hours laughing with Wayne on the couch, giggling at elementary school photos of Eddie and swapping stories, never shutting up about how cute he used to be. 

Steve was the one who wiped his tears away if he had night terrors, reliving almost dying over and over again in his dreams.

And Eddie couldn't help but push. 

It felt like he had to touch him all the time or he'd combust. Steve was touch-starved to hell and back, and Eddie took full advantage. An arm around his shoulders when they walked, a hand on his thigh when they drove, pinkies linked when they went to sleep. Steve leaned into it all, he never tried to push Eddie away, he'd only ever pull him closer. 

He rationalized it. If Steve ever told him no or to back off he would immediately but…he just hasn't. 

Besides, Eddie almost fucking died to save the world, he could indulge in some self-destructive behavior a little bit here and there, even if it would lead to the worst heartbreak of his life. 

Eddie shifted, trying to get comfortable but there was something digging in his back. He reached behind, pulling at whatever was poking him under the mattress. It was some wadded-up denim, shoved right under the edge of Steve's bed. A question was already on his lips as he unwrapped it, dying when he realized what it was. 

It was the vest from the Upside Down. Steve had told him it was unsalvageable months ago and Eddie had believed him, even if it made him a little sad. He had loved that thing.

But here it was, washed and only partially stained with the remnants of Steve’s blood and the general muck of the Upside Down.  Why did he still have this? Why did he lie?

Steve turned as Eddie stared at it, a yellow sweatshirt in hand and a pleased smile on his face. Eddie doesn't think he's ever seen Steve’s smile drop so quickly. He was kneeling in front of him in an instant, snatching the vest from Eddie’s hands with trembling fingers. He clutched it against his chest, looking absolutely mortified. 

“I can explain.” 

“You kept it?”

“I-I’m not a creep, really! It just helped me sleep when you were in the hospital and it became this stupid habit and I should have told you- ” 

Steve’s face was on fire and he was talking a mile a minute, his voice shaking. Eddie just looked at him, stupified as Steve desperately tried to explain why he was cuddling with a ratty piece of Eddie’s clothing.

“I was gonna give it back," Steve held it tighter against him, like the thought of parting with it physically hurt, "I swear! but you just wouldn't wake up at first and I needed something-" 

Eddie’s eyes traveled down, landing on his lips, his self-control evaporating with every stuttered word out of Steve’s mouth. 

“A-and I shouldn't have lied, I can give it back, really, I didn-” 

“Steve, I’m going to kiss you now.”

“I-what?"

Eddie didn’t wait, couldn't wait, and Steve was so close, looking irresistibly embarrassed. Eddie grabbed behind his neck and pulled him down to his level, pressing their lips together before he could question himself. 

Steve was kissing him back before he could even think to regret it. He melted against him, letting the vest drop down in between them. Steve sighed against his lips, resting his hands on Eddie's shoulders to steady himself. Eddie pulled away first, half to double check that this was okay and half to try to will his erection away so Steve could sit in his lap.

Steve looked down at him with dazed eyes, his lips wet with Eddie’s spit. He watched with rapt attention when Steve licked at it, closing his eyes with a pleased hum, like he just loved the taste.

God, he was going to give him a heart attack. 

They grinned at each other like idiots, Steve finally breaking the comfortable silence with a shy smile, "Does this mean I get to keep it?"