#I keep thinking of my self from two years ago and how lonely I was

[there-will-be-a-way]

After the day clinic I'll go to a rehab clinic that specializes in trauma and addiction (most places only treat these two separately). I'll stay there for 3 to 4 months. Rip to me am I really that sick?

The social worker in my ward and I wrote down my addiction time line for my insurance company today which made me realize how fucked up I really am. Midway through I asked her to stop for the day and do the rest tomorrow because it was so confronting. (Yes, I listened to my boundaries for once.) I really have been in this cycle ever since I was 13 without realizing it.

After that I went to the city with some of the people from my ward and that was really nice. I feel accepted there, and I love how diverse our group is.

This evening is easier than yesterday. Less urges, less cravings. But somehow I'm shaking. Man, all of this is a lot but I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

[thegnomelord]

this isn’t a request but you’re the only writer i know who writes the monster!au so

dragon!reader and dragon!price are haunting my thoughts. dragons usually have to hold themselves back when sparring because they’re so much stronger than other monsters but with price & reader they don’t need to, to the point where the other members of the 141 are kinda wondering if they need to intervene.

what they do or don’t know is this is you and price courting, testing each other’s strength to assess whether you’re suitable mates. once you have decided you’re suitable it continues in the bedroom, fighting for dominance and testing each other’s stamina as price rides you or you pin price down and see if he can take all the strength behind your thrusts.

OH god I LOVE the way you think! I know @rodolfoparras also did a dragon price some time ago but I'm happy to let my monsterfucker out lol :D I'll consider this a spitball thingy but GOD DAMN did my hyperfixation hyperfixate on this :Ddd kinda rushed at the end but it's 3AM :/

CW:NSFW

What about if dragons measure not just raw strength, but all other aspects as well? They're prideful by nature and with so little of them remaining no self-respecting dragon will settle for a witless brute or a powerless scribe.

Price had lost hope in finding a mate centuries ago because he's even pickier than most of his kin; in his view, a proper one needs to be strong enough to completely pin him down, needs to be smart enough to see the insults in his honeyed words and give back as good as he does, needs to be clever enough to lead men as good as he does.

A proper mate needs to keep up with him on all levels.

And for a dragon of his age, that's an unachievable set of criteria. Oh sure, many of the dragons he's met over the years have tried to match him, but all fell short, leaving him lonely and unsatisfied.

Then he met you, a fellow Captain, a fellow dragon. Though only a few centuries younger than him, you're a wyrmling in his eyes, your scales like shining metal compared to his muddled gemstones. An arrogant wyrmling if the way you peacock for him the first time you enter the training room has anything to say about it— your wings spreading out and muscles rippling, back straightening out to make you taller, scales glinting in the artificial light; little details that anyone else can brush off as a simple stretch but to a dragon it screams of your interest in him.

His slitted eyes roam across your body, both equal parts disdain and curiosity. "Got somethin' ta say there boy?" His words are rough like sandpaper.

"No, no." You hum as you get into the ring, every little movement purposely done to showcase your hard earned musculature. "Just that you should skip out on this fight. Wouldn't want you to throw your back out old man."

"Old man huh?" His eyes blaze with the same fire at the end of his cigar, your words igniting something in his chest that had long been extinguished. "I'll show you old."

And suddenly he's in the ring, both of you trading blow for blow with the same savagery your progenitors had frightened mankind with for millennia, your claws leaving deep grooves in the concrete when you miss his side, his tail smashing a portion of the ground into dust when you avoid it, the ground between you cracking when you try to push the other away, loose scales and dust and debris littering the ground as you and Price wrestle on the ground.

Both of your teams watch from the sidelines, your team calming the other members of TF141 that this is just how dragons are, pointedly ignoring your victorious snarl when you pin Price down to the ground, your clawed hand harshly pushing his face into the concrete to the point you might break his nose as you bite the back of his neck, forcing him to submit. "I win,"

"Not fer long." He snarls back just as deep, feeling alive for the first time in who knows how long. "Best two out of three." And with that he jerks, remaining wing slamming into your side and knocking you off balance long enough for him to fling you into the wall opposite of him.

You don't know how many rounds you go before you're forced to stop by a very pissed off Laswell, who also pointedly ignores the obvious bulges in what remains of both of your pants, giving both of you a stern talking to about wrecking the damn training room.

You're ready to leave after being chastised like a child but Price is quicker, passing you with a "Good fight back there." rumbling in his throat, the soft scales of his wing brushing along your jaw. Your eyes nearly pop out of your skull when you meet his gaze, and Price has a good poker face but the smoldering look in his eyes and the low grumble in his chest makes it's obvious you've peaked his curiosity.

But that's just the start, the hard part is keeping it. While regular dragons may spend time with a potential mate conversing on scholarly subjects or having philosophical debates, you and him have a more practical way of assessing the other's intellect — Battle plans.

To your teams it sounds like a harsh argument, ideas thrown around and sharp insults tacked on top, their heads ping ponging between you and Price as you look over maps, trying to one up the other. Eventually your teammates leave you to settle this on your own.

"And I'm telling you, old man," You growl, both of you so close there's barely any space between you as you point at the map. "We can push a smaller team through the forest while we lead the frontal assault, our wip's not going to have anywhere to go then." You huff, holding your head up high to make it obvious you're proud of your idea.

Price gives you the stink eye, before he scans the map again, humming to himself. After a few seconds he lets out a scoff. "We don't have enough men for that." He says, but the sharp edge in his tone is dulled. "But—" His tail moves to brush against your own, your rough scales brushing against his smoother ones. "—It has some merit."

Price doesn't draw attention to the way your tails intertwine, wrapping together like two snakes, and neither do you. But the short purr that bubbles out of your chest says everything he needs to know, growing louder when he answers with his own, your shoulders brushing together. "Aight, back to work." He cuts your purrs short, but you can't hide the pleased look on your face as your tails remain coiled together.

Then comes the actual courting dance.

One late evening spent looking over documents in the privacy of his office, your tails once again coiled beneath the desk after successfully having proved your wit to him again, absentmindedly telling embarrassing stories of your respective teams. . . Price has a revelation. You might be it. "Hey lad."

You look up, your full attention on him. "Yeah?"

With a mumbled grunt too quiet for you to hear Price slides a hand beneath his shirt and pulls a large green scale from the meat of his shoulder blade, the wound healing before it can even bleed.

Instinctively you know what this means, for knowing how a prospective mate treats an extension of you will show how they'll treat you. But you still speak up, needing proof for your own mind that you're not insane and haven't been burning the wrong tree. "What?"

Price glares at you, "Don't play dumb," He says as he slides the large scale across the table to you. "It doesn't suit you." There's an underlayer of heat in his words, blue slitted eyes looking you over in a much more appreciative light.

You can't control the big grin that spreads across your face, "Oh, then what does suit me?" You ask as you follow his lead, yanking out one of your larger scales from your own back and sliding it to him. It makes the difference between you two obvious, his green scale muddled with age compared to your shiny one.

"Arrogant muppet." The gentle way he picks up your scale clashes with his harsh words, cradling it in his hand like it'll crack at the slightest of touches, his face reflected in the surface.

You grin, "Just confident." You feel his sharp eyes judge every minute twitch of your fingers as you pick up his scale. Price's poker face hides the way his heart melts at the loving way you brush a thumb across the surface, how it throbs when you don't immediately attempt to make it shine like some whelps once did, accepting him for how he is by putting it in your breast pocket.

God, he doesn't even know how much he'd fantasized about something like this when he was still young, vestiges of a purr escaping his throat at the tender way you treat his scale. "Right." He shakes his head and places your scale in his own breast pocket, handing you another stack of papers. "Get back to work."

You grin and do as he says, wings twitching as a sign of joy, your tail squeezing down on his and receiving a squeeze in kind.

Price feels like a horny teen when he lays awake in bed late at night with your scale held between his claws. He feels stupid for feeling so giddy at the thought of having a mate, a proper mate, yet his body thinks differently. Just holding it in his hand is enough to make him grow hot, your scent still clings to the scale and Price finds himself holding it close to his nose to familiarize himself with it and Hell his body loves it, cocks growing hard in record time and his thighs wet with slick. The poor thing doesn't even know what to relieve first, his free hand constantly going between stroking his cocks and fingering himself, mind craving the heat of another dragon that he'd been deprived of.

What Price doesn't know is that you're in the same boat, biting your arm to silence yourself as you imagine it's Price you're breeding instead of a pillow, splintering the headboard from how hard you're gripping it in an attempt to not damage the scale.

Then shit hits the fan when during a routine mission you two are ambushed, and while two dragons are no easy prey for mankind, humans have long since gone from using rocks and sticks. You catch sight of a sniper's scope glint seconds before the bullet targets Price, and in only a few seconds to think you throw yourself in the way, Price's scale in your breast pocket puts enough resistance to make you survive the bullet, but you feel it crack, and that. . . that sets you off.

Price doesn't even have the time to lift his gun before you're tearing through the battlefield like a man possessed, anger burning like a volcano in your chest for trying to hurt him, elemental breath and draconic strength unleashed to it's fullest potential.

And Price? Price watches the show with that same heat burning in his belly, forced to bite his lip to silence the pleased purrs as he rubs his thighs together while you tear flesh from bone, mate flashing in his mind. Look how he protects you His mind purrs, Good mate. Perfect mate.

"I'm sorry." You whimper when you've finally calmed down, the battlefield nothing but a ruined crater and the shards of his scale held tenderly in your cupped hands. "I failed, I-"

"Come here." Price cuts you off quickly and pulls you down into a harsh and desperate kiss, all teeth and tongue and need. He parts just a fraction of an inch, "You passed." He growls and only then do you notice the sharp arousal in his scent, your animalistic hindbrain jumping for joy as you kiss back because holy shit he considers you worthy.

And now that he's found his mate? You best believe his body is going to make up for all the centuries he'd spent alone.

It doesn't even take a week for him to enter heat, waking in a daze with his twin cocks hard and his thighs glistening with slick, your scent lingering in the sheets and your side of the bed still warm. The walls almost shake from how deeply he growls when he registers that you're not next to him, just enough sense in his head to throw on a towel around his waist before angerly stomping through the halls to find you, sniffing you out like a bloodhoud.

"Bloody muppet." Price growls as he yanks you by the horns back to his room, the scent of his arousal so potent you're struck dumb, letting yourself be pushed down. Price's claws slice through your clothes, his hole so slick and eager for you he doesn't even need to stretch, just jumps onto your lap and in one fluid motion takes one of your cocks to the root. "Fuckin' finally." Price hisses, instantly setting a harsh pace of bouncing on your cock that would have had a lesser race end up with a crushed pelvis.

You grip his hips for dear life, surging up to mark his neck and shoulders with bites as he does the same, his ass clapping against your thighs. "Mate." Price moans, hole clenching around you, his cocks leaking against your stomach. "My mate." He grips your hair and pulls you into a bruising kiss, "Going to last long for me yeah?" He asks, a bit of mockery on his flushed face as he feels you cum inside him, riding you through your orgasm as the sudden onslaught of sensations frazzles the intelligent parts of your brain. "Not going to disappoint me now are you?"

Good thing dragons have really short refractory periods.

"Not a chance." You snarl and flip him over suddenly, rumbling purrs escaping your chest from the surprised sound he makes. You attempt to pin him down and he squirms out of your hold, another bout of wrestling breaking out between you that has you two tumbling off the bed and onto the ground.

"That so whelp?" Price breathes out when you manage to pin him down, your strong hand keeping his face flush with the floor. "Do you really think you can keep up?" A pleased thrill runs down his spine from the sensation of your weight bearing down on him, his knees automatically locking up to hike his ass up, tail flipping up to display his slick hole for you.

"Do you?" You counter, one hand on his head, the other pressing both of your dicks together, your two tips pressing against his ass. "You're so wet and desperate, should have just pinned you down the moment I saw you instead of courting you." With one sharp thrust you push in, a pained and elated moan tearing out of his throat at the sensation of your twin cocks spreading him wider than any toy ever could, scratching that itch he'd had for who knows how long.

The stretch and burn and pleasure muddles his mind, reduces him to low animalistic snarls and growls as he does his best to push his hips into yours. "Hurry the fuck up." Price orders, whole body shaking from the way you set a harsh pace, bashing on his prostate, your balls slapping against his own, each hard thrust pushing and pulling his face across the floor. "I'll- fuck- fall asleep."

"You sure about that?" You push your weight further on him, forcing his wing to spread out, your own partially wrapping around him, "Seems to me like-" A bit of elemental breath leaves your throat when one particularly strong thrust has his hole clamping down on you, his back arching to push his hips as close to yours as one of his cocks spews cum on the floor, "-like you're not in a place to order me around."

"You- ah-fuck-ah- wanker." His insult would be a lot more hurtful if he didn't whine like a bitch in heat, both of you devolving into primitive snarls and growls with the only thought on both of your minds being the need to fill Price with as much of your cum as you physically can.

[suiana]

✎ yandere! dilf headcanons . . .

✎ warnings . . .

― obsessiveness, possessiveness, manipulation(?), mentions of violence, implicated stalking and stealing, legal age gap, breeding kink 💀, etc.

(gn! reader x male yandere! oc)

✎ yandere! dilf who hired you as his son's tutor. he's just so worried that his darling son won't be able to keep up with school :( as a result you were hired to tutor him :D he actually doesn't know how you look like yet, but guessing from your profile picture you're a granny..?

✎ yandere! dilf who couldn't help but be enamoured with you the second you stepped inside his house. wait why were you so cute? didn't he hire an old- huh?! oh that was a picture of your grandma... oh well, he shouldn't have guessed. how else is he supposed to calm his boner now?

✎ yandere! dilf who's watering at your innocence. oh you're such a sweet thing! bright eyes sparkling with the desire to teach his son! your future son! he's so glad he's divorced... he's dead set on making you his beloved little thing. and you can't do anything to change it~!

✎ yandere! dilf who falls for you more and more with each tuition session. oh you just look so adorable! and that outfit you wore last session! it was so cute! he really had a hard time holding himself back you know? he's imagining tearing apart your outfit while marking you up now-!

✎ yandere! dilf who is older than you. I mean, he literally has a 15 year old son so it would be expected that he's old. but... he's still handsome! so you can consider him... right? oh please give him a chance! he'd hate to have to break you down completely :( yes he's that in love with you to the point where he won't mind breaking you down and rebuilding you to how he wants you to be ♡

✎ yandere! dilf who's extremely flirty and embraces his dilf-ness. rolling up his sleeves to expose his veiny forearms, unbuttoning his top two buttons to expose his defined chest, subtly flirting with you every time he sees you... just two tuition sessions ago he stood so close to you to the point where you could smell his cologne and see his man boobs?! you had to spend that entire tuition session clenching your fists just to focus. oh those sexy man boobs! his cleavage ! why is his body so sexy?! don't worry, if you wanted to touch he'll be more than happy to let you feel him up :)

✎ yandere! dilf who can't stop thinking about bashing in the heads of anyone who's glanced in you. no one should be taking in your divine self except for him and his son. those trash can't worship and love you like he does. hm... maybe he should just kidnap you? keep you all to himself. yeah, that sounds like a good plan.

✎ yandere! dilf who has a little shrine dedicated to you in his study. aw, how cute! it's just a small picture of you and a flower- wait is that your missing underwear? and is that your lost diary?! why's your entire schedule noted down with lots of hearts scribbled on it?! how'd he- there's no way he stalked you... right?

✎ yandere! dilf who gets his son to talk to you about how he's so lonely and wants another parent desperately... you're smart so you'll get what he means, won't you? after all, can you resist those watery eyes and the slight sniffling his son is doing? and he's sure you don't have any other tutees due to how much he's paying you already... so it's alright to be his, no?

✎ yandere! dilf who wants to breed you. it doesn't matter whether or not you can actually have children, he'll still want to breed you. imagining you round and full with his children... it just turns him on oh so much.

✎ yandere! dilf who really wouldn't mind a new addition to his family. I mean, for the past... 11 years it's only been him and his son :( and he finds it so lonely in his big mansion without anyone to accompany him... you understand what he's saying right? don't worry, you'll never have to lift a finger again should you accept his offer. he's rich after all :)

✎ "hn? oh my son did good, huh? should I reward you for being an amazing tutor? I know just how to thank you after all..."

[saturnville]

bite, l. hamilton

pairing: he (lewis hamilton) x black best friend oc (anvika dawson) content: in which two friends cross a line people have been waiting for them to cross. warning: 18+ content song: bite by njzoma an: y'all know I don't write smut fr, so ntm. but I hope y'all enjoy it. wc: 2,498 tags: the girlies who were hyping me up to post this @boujiestpoet @mauvecherie-writes @saintslewis @greedyjudge2 @vile-harlot @emjayewrites

“Just because we’re attracted to one another doesn’t mean we need to sleep together. I’m off that. Plus, we’re friends.”

Anvika prided herself on being a woman of self-control and discipline. Though it did not come easy, years of abstinence grew dreary and at times, very lonely, her hard work was not something she was willing to risk. Her decision to step into abstinence wasn’t one she took lightly, nor was it one that she planned, but once Anvika began the journey of healing from a heartbreak, intimacy with another man wasn’t the priority. Though that had been over four years ago and she was well over the situation, she could admit that while it was difficult to maintain her self-control, not having to worry about anyone’s snot-nosed son brought more peace than she could ever imagine. 

“Even more of a reason to let it happen. Everything happens better when you have a solid foundation first. Everybody thinks you two are together anyways. He truly cares for you, in more ways than one.” 

Anvika hummed and rolled her eyes as she brought the slender champagne fluke to her full lips. The liquid went smooth down her throat. She shrugged. “Then let them think that. Lewis is a good man, a good and attractive man, but…”

Her friend, Onyx, sighed and downed her drink with a wave of her hand. “I don’t know how you do it! I would’ve lost my mind by now. I commend you.” Onyx bowed playfully which pulled a light laugh from Anvika. Though she was joking, she couldn’t help but sense the truth behind her words. 

Though swearing off men and intimacy had become a more common practice among women, many people found it taboo and unrealistic. She soon began to ponder--what if she’d never find anyone that could give her what she wanted because of how she chose to navigate her dating life? She shook it off internally. That would be a problem, but none that would be hers. 

Before she got the chance to respond, her phone rang against the glass table that held their expensive lunch on it’s back. LH flashed across the screen. She smiled softly which caught the attention of Onyx, who gave a teasing smirk. For someone who was insistant on keeping a strong boundary between herself and her closest friend, she surely smiled like a fool whenever he called. 

“I told you I have a lunch date with Onyx today,” she reminded the racer lowly, using her index finger to draw doodles in the condensation her water glass sweat off on the table. “Everything alright?” 

“Everything’s fine, angel,” he spoke smoothly. “Just wanted to make sure you were still wanting to join me for the event on Friday.” Anvika hummed and nodded as though he could see her. He was attending a gala in London and of course, offered his plus-one to Anvika, as he had done since their friendship had begun years prior. What was his, was hers, including access to rooms and events that would grant her opportunities to further her career as a branding and marketing consultant. 

“Yes,” she replied excitedly. “I still haven’t found a dress. What color are you wearing?”

There was shuffling in the background before he spoke again. “Blue. Don’t worry about it,  I’ll handle it.” Her heart fluttered. “Enjoy your lunch. Tell Onyx I said hello and call me later, alright?” 

Anvika’s teeth trapped her bottom lip. “Alright. Talk soon.” 

“Bye, love.” 

Anvika turned her phone on its face and looked up, catching Onyx’s playful eyes. Her thick eyebrow touched her forehead. “Friends, right?” Anvika gave her a look. Onyx raised her hands in defense, “My bad, my bad.” 

-

Lewis Hamilton was a gentleman. Sure, this was universal knowledge, but something about him being gentlemanly with her made her heart flutter and her stomach clench with desire. And it almost made her question Onyx’s point, “he truly cares for you; in more ways than one.” It’d typically be something she’d deny, but as she stood in front of the mirror with her hair done by a hairstylist he arranged to come, her nails done by a nail technician he’d flown out, and a dress he arranged to be custom-made to suit her body, how could she deny it any longer? 

“Don’t think too deeply into it,” she scolded herself, slipping out of her robe. She walked toward her dress, pulled it off the hanger, and carefully slipped into it. “You’re friends. Close friends who care for one another. That’s it, that’s all.” 

They met at the paddock six years prior. She was invited to her first Formula One race through her consultant agency, which took her team on an all-expense paid trip for their hard work. She wasn’t aware of Formula One, just of familiar names. Then, at the end of the match, she had the chance to put a face to the infamous name of Lewis Hamilton. 

“You raced well,” Anvika noted, taking in the slightly disheveled appearance of the raceman. “I’ve never been to a Formula One race; good job on giving me a reason to come back one day.” 

The man’s eyebrow raised in interest. He crossed his arms over his chest, his muscular build on display. “Is that so?”

Anvika nodded. 

“We can make that happen whenever you want.” 

It was Anvika’s turn to raise an eyebrow. A smirk played on her lips. “Is that so? Tryna be my friend, Lewis?” 

He shrugged his shoulders. Friends wasn’t too bad. Anything to get to know her. “Any man would be a fool to refuse that opportunity, Anvika.”

That marked the beginning of an inseparable union.

Anvika continued to mumble and grumble, doing whatever she could to keep her mind eased. Her self-conversations were halted by a knock on her door. Lewis. “Coming!” Holding her dress to her chest. She turned the doorknob, and the familiar scent of his cologne filled her nose. “Are you…oh. Oh.”

Closing the door behind him, Lewis’ eyes were trained on her, the most beautiful woman he’d laid eyes on. The dress, complementary to his suit, was perfectly designed and tailored to her. She was a fan of long-sleeved dresses, so that’s what she got. It was constructed with a heavy, luxurious velvet material and it hugged every riff, edge, and curve on her body. The neckline showed the swell of her breasts and her beautiful collarbone. The mermaid-like tail further accentuated her shape. 

Her hair was parted to the side and curled to perfection. The makeup complimented her features--thick eyebrows, full lips, and a round nose. And her scent, goodness, it suffocated him. The jasmine and almond notes filled his nostrils and he wanted to nuzzle his face in her neck and inhale like she was the air he needed to breathe. 

“You look beautiful,” Lewis managed to speak. His voice was so low that she almost didn’t hear his compliment. With a bashful smile, she thanked him and led him to her room where she wandered toward the bathroom, which had a series of jewels across the counter. “Help me pick a necklace?” 

Anvika turned to face the jewelry and fought hard to ignore the heat that radiated from Lewis’ body as he moved to stand behind her. From over her shoulder, his eyes followed the line of jewels the stylists brought. His eyes landed on a silver necklace; a thin chain with a multi-carat teardrop diamond. “This one.” 

Lewis took the necklace in his hands and placed it around her neck. Anvika lifted her hair to grant him easy access and shivered as his cool fingertips brushed against her skin. She inhaled deeply. “Stunning.” His breath was warm against her neck. They locked eyes in the mirror ahead of them. The tension was thick. Suffocating. His brown eyes, usually so full of love and warmth, were filled with something she couldn’t quite identify, but it made her body heat like wildfire. 

“I’m ready,” she announced, careful not to let her voice waver. She turned, purposefully ignoring the groan he released when she brushed against him. Her lips quivered as she tried to give a steady smile. What the hell was happening between them? Anvika placed her hands on his chest and soothed the non-existent wrinkles on his suit jacket. He was so handsome. “You look great, darling.” 

“Thank you…” his words came out as a whisper. He was too distracted by her. Six years of friendship and what he felt from the time he met her at the paddock all those years ago had reached a breaking point. He’d boiled over. 

Anvika tried to smile as she pressed a kiss against his cheek, but with how he reacted, her lips landed at the corner of his lips. She took a step back. “Let’s get ready to go, yeah?” 

Lewis swallowed thickly. He held his arm out for her, which she grabbed instinctively, and together, they were out the door with a million and one thoughts swimming between them. 

-

“And that beauty you’ve brought?” an older man questioned Lewis, who had his eyes on Anvika as she danced through the siloes of people in the room. The gala was nothing short of a popularity function, a random event on a random weekend for the host to flaunt their money and connections, Truthfully, his desire to attend dwindled once he saw her in that dress. She was the only thing on his mind. 

“Anvika Dawson,” Lewis said, nodding in her direction. “One of the best branding and marketing consultants in the industry. She’s amazing at everything she does. You’ve got a business, don’t you?” And that’s why he was a good friend, Anvika noted as she began to walk over, hearing him advocate for her in front of the man. 

“You flatter me,” she said with a smile as she took a position under Lewis’ arm, which slid around her waist. “Anvika Dawson, nice to meet you.” 

The older man, who had went by the nam Eli, shook her hand firmly and nodded in interest. “Well, pardon me, but the two of you would make a wonderful couple.” The young adult chuckled lightly; the comment was nothing new to them, but it seemed to bring them both discomfort given the fact that they had a very intimate moment just an hour before their arrival. Before Lewis could speak up, Anvika thanked the man sweetly then they were whisked in another direction. 

They were joined together at the hip for the remainder of the evening. And, on the rare occasion that they were apart, they stole glances from across the room like teenagers in a romantic sitcom. Soon, the event wrapped up and they were in the backseat of the car, sitting in a thick silence. 

Anvika sat at the right of the car, her knees turned inward and her legs crossed. With every bump in the road and swerve of the car, the tip of her heel brushed against Lewis’ leg. His breath hitched. She said nothing. 

The car came to an abrupt stop and the doors were opened for them. Before her foot could touch the ground, Lewis’ hand was awaiting. “Thank you,” Anvika said softly, and allowed him to guide her into the hotel. 

He still hadn’t said much. The walk to the elevator was quiet, yet, he hadn’t let go of her hand. What was he thinking about? If it was the sudden shift in their interactions, it didn’t go unnoticed by her either. 

The elevator doors peeled open and Lewis guided her in. He pressed the button, 10, that would send them to the floor their rooms were on. The elevator ride seemed slow as each ding indicated they’d entered another floor. 

Anvika cleared her throat and decided to speak up, “I enjoyed tonight. And again, you looked great. I love blue on you.” 

He couldn’t remember what happened between her compliment, her back against the elevator wall, and his lips on hers.  The only thing that forced him to key in was her hands pressing against his abdomen and his name falling from her lips. “Lewis…” What he’d heard time and time again in his dreams had finally become a reality. His stomach churned; could he get her to say it again? “What are you…” She cut herself off when she fell victim to the wonderful feeling of his lips against her jaw. 

“I just…” Lewis settled his face in her neck. “One night, Vi. Let me have one night with you…” Her heart pounded in her ears. What the hell was happening? 

“Lewis…” Her hand slipped and fell just above his belt. She extended her arm just slightly. “We can’t do this. I-I don’t want to mess up our friendship and you know I’m not going all the way with anyone--” 

Lewis hummed. His eyes sat low as he looked at her. She looked completely worn out as if he’d done to her what he truly wanted. Her forehead glistened with sweat, her lipstick was smeared, and her chest heaved. “Nothing will change for the worse, angel. And I don’t want to go there with you, just want to make you feel good…always have.” His left arm circled around her waist and his large hand palmed her backside. She whimpered. “Can I?” 

“Someone might see...” 

He ignored her. “Can I make you feel good?” His tone was stern as he repeated his question. Suddenly, the gala was out of her mind and the only thing that clouded her thoughts was him. Him and him only. Lewis Hamilton had infiltrated her mind and she finally stopped fighting it. 

The elevator dinged. “Yes…” 

-

“Should I…?” her hands reached for the necklace that shone beneath the dim lights of the hotel suite. Lewis shook his head and peeled his jacket off his shoulders, revealing a crisp white wife beater. He shed that too. Anvika’s breath hitched. “Keep it on. Lay back for me, angel.” 

Anvika looked like an angel surrounded by the comforter. Her undergarments were long discarded, save for her underwear which he kept in the pocket of his pants. The pure white of the sheets were a stark contrast to the richness of her complexion. Her hair was sprawled against the pillow with a few strands covering her face lazily. The look on her face was one of comfort, relief in one way or another. 

She welcomed Lewis’ body between her legs as he crawled on the bed and his lips against hers as he hovered above her. For the first time that night, Anvika’s hands didn’t tremble when she touched him. She welcomed the feeling of every ridge of muscle, every raised scar, and every mature tattoo. 

Their hands moved frantically over each other’s body, and it felt amazing. She hadn’t realized how touch deprived she was until she heard his chuckle in her ear. Her face warmed. She felt like a teenager. “It’s okay…” his lips ghosted against the shell of her ear. “Make all the noise you want.” 

Anvika didn’t respond--her mouth wouldn’t allow her to. As Lewis moved down her body, she sat on her elbows, watching and waiting. God, he was so handsome like this. His head was dipped between her thighs and his tattooed glistened under the dim lights. Slowly, he lips created an intentional trail from her belly down to the treasure just centimeters away from his mouth. 

Her fingers clawed at the bedsheets as the anticipation rose. She was becoming impatient. He was giving attention to every other place except where he wanted her. She huffed. “Lewis…” 

He hummed, clearly unbothered by her frustration. He glanced at her, “Yes?” She whimpered. “Talk to me.” He was amused, very amused. She was desperate for him. It was evident by the way her arousal seeped onto the bed. He gathered some on his fingers, using it as a lubricant as he finally began to touch her. 

Anvika gasped. His movements were slow and meticulated but they were enough to set her over the edge. He brought his lips to hers again, which she accepted sloppily. Her jaw fell slack as he continued to work her to her first release of the night. It came quickly, quicker than she would have liked. When his fingers hit that spot within her, her hips jerked and she squeaked his name. 

Lewis chuckled, “That’s it?” He prodded that spot again. “Right there?” Anvika nodded. He removed his fingers. She groaned in frustration, “Lewis, please!”

“Please what?” He brought his fingers to his lips and moaned at the taste of her on his tongue. If this was just the beginning, he couldn’t imagine how mad he’d go in the coming moments. “Tell me what you want.”

She clocked it. He wanted her to beg. Anvika wasn’t the begging type. She may have been far removed from having sex, but she always got her way, especially with Lewis. Her hands trailed down the muscular planes of his stomach. Her fingers hooked in his belt and pulled him forward. Her fingers curled around his neck and her nails toyed with the faded hair there. She brought her smeared lips to his ear, her tongue dancing against the shell of it. He shudder. “I want you to make my legs shake and rock my world. Can you do that, Lewis?” 

Her voice. The way her voice dropped in octave but increased in seduction had his head spinning. There were a few moments of silence as he fought hard to gather himself and the more she spurred him on, the most difficult it became. But then, she heard it, “Yes…”

-

“Right there, right there! Oh my…” He was a lover of music. Being in a studio, creating melodies to go with lyrics, was his favorite pastime. But this took the cake. She created her a song better than he could have ever imagined, and was it addicting. 

Her moans, cries, and screams were melodic and his name was the only lyric she knew. He hated repetition in music, but loved hearing hers. So addicting. So well created. So beautiful. 

Her legs trembled around his head and her hands were buried in his braids. He fought the urge to bend her over when she whispered out the faintest, “Baby, please…” She’d used terms of endearment before, but in this context, it was different. “I’m close!”

Her body, damp with sweat and covered in bruises created by his mouth, jumped and jolted as she grew closer to her peak. Lewis sat up, replacing his tongue with his highly skilled fingers. He used his arm to stabilize his body as he hovered over her. What a sight.

Her hair was completely sweated out, pooped and frizzy at the roots. Her makeup stained the pillows and her lips were swollen from her biting and his intense kisses. Her neck was dark with love bites. Her eyelids were hooded but he could see the fire behind her eyes. If only he could capture her and keep the picture in his pocket forever. 

“Doing so well for me,” he whispered, kissing against her cheek and jaw. His fingers made quick work of the huddle of nerves between her legs. “Taking it like a good girl.” Her moans grew louder, higher in pitch, and full of air. It was becoming too much—her hands pushed against his arm, trying to run. “Don’t run now. Isn’t this what you wanted?” 

“Lewis, I’m—“ she cut herself off with a high pitched scream that seemed to ring on forever. Lewis chuckled lightly and worked her through her orgasm. “That’s it, baby.” Her body shook as she tried to come down calmly.

He spent a few minutes between her legs, caressing her gently as an act of comfort. Her loud noises had diminished to soft whimpers as she came down from cloud nine. When she finally opened her eyes again, he asked, “You okay?” 

She was better than okay. Though they didn’t cross all the lines, Anvika had gotten the best orgasm she’d received in her life from a man’s mouth and hands. She’d deal with the consequences later, but in that moment, she felt amazing. 

She nodded and smiled lazily. “I’m okay. Are you…do you want me to…?” Her eyes fell to the evident bulge that strained against his pants. He shook his head.

“I’m okay. Let’s get you cleaned up…”

-

What was supposed to be a shower to clean her up resulted in her on her knees giving him the most intense release he’d experienced in months. It left him panting, shaking, and whimpering like it was his first time all over again. 

Once again, she looked angelic with her now curly hair flat against her back and big brown eyes staring at him as she worked him like the expert she was. He came in her with with a groan, his fingers in her hair. She stood to her feet, smiling innocently as she showed him there was no remnant of him left in her mouth. 

“You’re nasty,” he announced, grabbing her jaw to place a sloppy kids on her lips. 

“Mhmmm, just the way I like it.” 

They migrated to her bed shortly after, laying together in a comfortable silence. Anvika’s head was against his bare chest and herfingers traced the tattoos on his body. Lewis’ arm was around her waist and his hand massaged her plump bottom. 

They were tired, exhausted even. But, they fought sleep like children, internally afraid of what the morning would bring. All actions had consequences whether good or bad. It was a mutual hope that what they’d done wouldn’t bring on the latter. 

“Lewis?” Anvika called after some time. 

“Yes, angel?” 

“Are we gonna be okay?” Her voice trembled slightly. They’d crossed a line--a big one. She had wobbled on her boundaries. There was a lot to discuss and a lot to consider. It was an amazing experience, she couldn’t lie, but her biggest fear was that she’d lose him as an important person in her life if reality didn’t set in the way they intended. 

Lewis gave her a squeeze and brought his lips to her forehead. Sensing her worry, he reassured, “We’ll always be okay.” And she believed it.

[foreverdolly]

this is a self pitying post and i’ll probably delete it later- but when i’m sad i tend to write it out. i’ve used this blog like a diary of sorts for the last two and a half years. i’ve developed a relationship with a lot of you on here and i appreciate all the love i’ve received so far on my last post. my friends that i have in real life, no matter how long i’ve known them, don’t know too much about my upbringing or my parents. i hate the idea of trauma dumping- it’s uncomfortable for other people: so don’t read this if you don’t want to. i wouldn’t blame you.

my dad died from cirrhosis due to alcoholism. he died miserable and alone. he had no friends. his family was sick of him. i tried to call him as often as i could but sometimes he could be mean if he was drunk. i knew not to call him after 11:00 in the afternoon because he would start to drink. he lived in his youngest brother’s basement and almost never came upstairs because he was embarrassed. i haven’t seen him in three years because he lives fourteen hours from me, but i tried my hardest to call him every week and keep him involved in my life. he never saw any of my homes, never met any of my friends, and never even saw me drive a car (i’ve been licensed since i was eighteen). i cried to him almost every week, begging him to get sober.

he never recovered from my parent’s divorce, and for that i feel so sorry. he called my mother his soulmate and always spoke in past tense- talking about when me and my brother were little. he would tear up when talking about the first time he ever saw me in the hospital after my mother gave birth, and he was vocal about the fact that i was his favorite. we shared a lot of the the same interests and always had fun when talking.

when my mom made a suicide attempt two years ago he was there for me almost everyday, calling me despite the demons he was battling with himself.

the last time i spoke to him was thursday- a week from the day he died. he told me that he almost called a treatment facility but he got tired and took a nap instead. his doctors appointment was today at one and he was going to ask to be admitted and then go to a rehab facility. i told him i’d send him money while he was in there- he hasn’t been able to hold a job since i was still in high school.

my dad was a chef. a damn good cook- classically trained in french cooking. he had the loudest laugh i’ve ever heard, so much so that it used to make me cry when i was a baby. we used to wear matching costumes and he’d sign me out from school on halloween and call me out the day after. he took me to my first concert, but he couldn’t afford both the gas and the tickets (so i paid for the gas with my pocket change at the age of thirteen). he wore adidas strictly- shell toe was his favorite.

when i was little my dad was on night duty while my mom was away: tucking us in, reading us books. he refused to read to me and walked out the door but not before saying “bed bugs and stuff”. i thought it was so funny. it became our saying. every night we spent with each other we said “bed bugs and stuff”. so that was my last send off to him. i hope he’s finally resting well and isn’t depressed, ashamed or lonely anymore where he is.

he died in his sleep. they found a solo cup filled with vodka next to his bed and i can’t stop thinking about the fact that he was going to get help today. he was yellow due to jaundice. what a cruel world.

[sssarrrra]

Dying to stay alive. Why does Fyodor Dostoevsky enjoy being killed on purpose? Bsd analysis

Why Dostoevsky looks so young despite living for centuries? I think it's because he often gets killed. He literally has no time to age.

His skin care routine is being murdered every year or so. Maybe, even more often.

Fyodor CAN age, he isn't immune to it. He isn't immortal. He's ability isn't about eternal youth. He can get gray hair and wrinkles. But he doesn't. Dostoevsky looks almost identical to how he's been when he's met Bram centuries ago (minus a scar and an outfit). So why is it?

Let's assume that the physical "age" Fyodor naturally gains can be transferred to the new body he enters. And the only things that get "erased" are traces of harm left by someone else (bruises, cuts, scars, etc.)

Let's pretend that we know Fyodor's "biological" age. And it's 20. (That's just an assumption for this example!)

It would go like this: Fyodor's biologically 20. He lives until his 22, than gets killed. His "new" body will have the age of 22. Then he lives until he's 26 and dies unnaturally. He's biological age in the new body is gonna be 26.

And so on and so on. It means both his appearance and physic will gradually change. But we see NONE OF THAT. Present Fyodor is almost a twin copy of Fyodor from the past.

It means that Dostoevsky has never lived longer than a couple of years max without dying and respawning into a new body. He probably dies quit often and can't even get old enough because he simply doesn't have time.

Maybe, he has some mark on his calendar: "Need to die every year to keep my body young and relative healthy". And it's a strategy and nothing else. But I feel like there is more to that.

Dostoevsky probably enjoys the thrill of death (or near death) experience for various reasons.

People sometimes describe Dazai as a "suicide-addict", but THIS is a new level of it. These two share a hobby of trying to die often. But Dostoevsky not just tries. He dies. Fyodor's way of getting a rid of his stress is being brutally murdered by someone else. I wounder, if Dazai knew it how it would make him feel? To find out that Fyodor is drawn to death in the same way that he is? We'll find out eventually.

Dostoevsky meticulously got himself killed probably more than 300+ times or so. And, yes, sometimes it was work related incidents due to his plans. But he didn't HAVE to die so often, did he?

It honestly seems, that for Fyodor "dying" is just an extracurricular activity he does to pass the time. Some ppl go their friend's house to play video games. And Fyodor goes to someone's place -> dies there.

Maybe, Dostoy tries to connect with people by "dying" by their hands? When he transfers his mind into a new body, it makes him feel less lonely, somehow?

For example, Fyodor didn't have to break into Bram's castle and chat him up about demons. He didn't have to put his life on a line just to see how Bram would react to his musings about world-politics. He knew he would die, obviously. But he went anyway. Just to "catch a glimpse" of Bram (in his own words). And then, of course to get murdered. Did he hope that Bram would be the one to deliver a final blow? Did Fyodor secretly want to "posses" Bram's body from that long, long time ago?

You know how ppl joked about Fyodor's hobby being captured on purpose? Add "dying" to this list, asap.

He's reasons for overusing his ability to "reincarnate" are probably complicated.

A part of it is a need to escape/ease his guilt. Dostoy wants to feel like a martyr that has a right to commit sin. Maybe, it's his own self-punishment, a form of self-harm. He believes these short or long moments of agony "erase" the harm he does to others or, at least, balance it out.

On the other hand, Fyodor is still a human who wants to belong. But he spent decades in paranoia and isolation that affected him immensely. So now the only "true" connection Dostoevsky can create with someone is when he inserts his consciousness into their body. The flow of new feelings/goals keeps him distracted from himself and his bleak view of the reality. So he does it over and over.

Or is it just a boredom thing? Like living is such a drug he can't help but try to die?

Dostoy is too afraid/guilty to go to heaven right away so he passes time by adding bits of different personalities to himself. He has this semi-free subscription to people's agendas, he only has to die to access them. It keeps him entertained. Like a Netflix but he has to die to watch a "movie" from someone's POV, with their goals/emotions intact still.

Dostoy wants to pick up a new passion/hobby? No problem. He just needs to find someone who likes that particular interest, and than get murdered by that person. Then Fyodor can gain their insights into the topic (possibly).

I wish I could see the way Dostoevsky envisions humanity. It seems like he's both enmeshed with it to the point of losing himself and at the same time he's discarded by humanity and isolated from it.

It's such a mixed-up experience. No wounder Fyodor's mind is so… Bizarre.

[hollowtones]

what'd you think about jade shadows?

I put it under a read-more because I don't know how to talk about this without talking about spoiler stuff. The tl;dr is "I liked it but I wish there was a little bit more."

One of the things I didn't like isn't even really part of the quest itself, but I saw a mutual bring it up a few days ago & it's been on my mind since: it feels a little odd to have a content warning before your sidequest, and then not give you any way to skip the quest if it's content you don't think you'd be able to handle. Especially given there's a whole event & rewards that only unlock afterwards!!

OK on to the contents of the quest itself. There's a lot of themes of love and connection and empathy in the face of systemic cruelty or indifference, in this game in general, and a lot of how that manifests is stories about characters fighting for self-determination and agency (the Ostrons trying to stay free of the Grineer, the Solaris trying to destroy the systems that keep them in debt & deny them bodily autonomy, Umbra, the Tenno, the Lotus, etc etc).

I think it's interesting to try and explore a tragedy where we aren't able to help someone in time, where the powers that be have brutalized someone and we as individuals aren't able to get there in the nick of time & help them claw their agency back. I think it's an interesting thematic & emotional through-line (with very strong parallels to Ordis... very smart choice to make him the event vendor / narrator, I'm feasting good on all the new dialogue LOL), and I think there have been enough well-written woman characters in the game that don't get written out or killed for the sake of some man's tragedy or growth that I don't immediately roll my eyes about them trying a So Sad The Woman Dies story.

I do also think this would have hit harder if we got more information about Jade herself!! I realize "this woman broke a law and was completely dehumanized / made into a Thing by the empire, stripping her of herself to suit their ends" is Kind Of The Point, and they make enough of a fuss about "wow there's a lot that's redacted about her history, huh!" that I assume this is a plot thread they're leaving hanging for later. But I feel like the big moment would have resonated better if they gave us a little more info to establish this character, other than "she was heterosexual" and "the Orokin were fucked up, don't forget" haha.

(I do find it funny that the storyline about Ballas, who got Divorced So Badly that he Caused Nearly All Of Today's Problems, is all wrapped up, but the story keeps going "no no, don't worry, there's still plenty of opportunity to remind you how fucked the Orokin were." Here's these two people that broke some insipid law about conceiving a child & so their bosses and leaders broke their brains and turned them into bio-weapon lapdogs as punishment. Every time they go "BTW Something Was Deeply Wrong With The Orokin & We Still Feel The Aftershock Of That Today" I clap my hands like a seal.)

Warframe Babies Are Born!!!!! This little tyke is fuckin weird. What's their problem. I think it's weird and cool. I don't really feel much about "this character is a parent now!" type of storylines. (I did pop off when Stalker got to do his shithead honourable samurai defending a child with one arm thing. I'm a sucker for that & they made it coooooool. It feels like they're setting up some kind of "Lone Wolf and Cub" situation. The scythe being juiced up with BabysPower was also funny.) The baby thing is neat to me from the perspective of, like... This is something weird and new that's never happened before in this universe. That's exciting and kind of scary! I'm interested to see where they go with that. (Presumably in a year or two. Very funny to drop this on us when a completely different major story arc is right around the corner with 1999.)

Gianni's delivery was fuckin killer. I'm excited for whatever next arc they do with Stalker if it means they're gonna pay my boy to grunt and yell and scream more. It feels very strange to be acquainted with two people who've done voice acting in "Warframe" now. Me next? ^_^

I like our new Corpus weirdo. I hope she comes back. Fun to get more stuff with the Sisters of Parvos & with Mr. Granum himself. But I liked her a lot. It got a fuckin laugh out of me to have her through all the quest excited about her big promotion that she's going to get & resolving that with "Is that a fuckin baby??? Fuuuuuck! They don't pay me enough to shoot a baby with a gatling gun!" I wish her ending scene was a little more than just stoically standing aside but literally anything else I can think of feels way too cheesy or on-the-nose.

The facial animations on the Operator were really fuckin weird. I just remembered that. I thought that was just a thing on my end but I watched someone else play & the faces looked weird for them too.

Hunhow's a good inclusion. I like him seeing the Stalker stewing in his own misery because he hates the only people that could offer him help & going "aw man, c'mon buster, don't be like me now." I like his signature that he puts in his emails. I like that he's still an emotionally constipated weirdo that hates us but is still endeared to us in some way. (They make nods to The New Strange in his ending email, which makes sense given that this also feels like a quest setting up More Weird Shit In The Future, but I do get a laugh that it also reads as "JADE WAS PREGNANT? OKAY... WELL. DON'T FORGET THAT I HAVE A WOMB TOO, KID." Thanks Grandpa. Love you too Grandpa. Thanks for the sweeties Grandpa.)

The event quest feels like a nice bow on top. I like the parallels between Jade and Ordis. Wanting to afford her the dignity in death he could never be given. Acknowledgement of Ordan Karris is fun!!! (The line about him being conflicted with the thought of Granum un-cephalon'ing him has me rubbing my hands together.) I'm excited that we're getting so much of Parvos Granum lately. What a shit head. It's funny to see him so hyped up about Ordan. "Duuuude! Your history's famous killer!! That's awesome? Do you wanna work for me? C'monnnnn we both hate the legacy of the Orokin. Wouldn't it be awesome if MY rule was the one dehumanizing you and wielding you as a weapon instead?" This is something they've been establishing as early as "Parvos and Ballas in bed with one another doing shady back-room deals over a Warframe bodyguard and specter particle research" but it's fun whenever they sow the seeds of Parvos being so much like the Orokin he hated.

I wrote more than I thought I was going to!!! I like the thematic through-line idea of this quest but I wish they executed on it better. I like the stuff this is presumably establishing for the future. I really like the event quest as... not quite an epilogue, I guess, but as an addition. Other than that I thought it was okay! I wasn't expecting anywhere near the level of Whispers in the Walls, but that quest being such a high bar makes a "pretty okay" quest stick out to me a little, haha.

[kentuckyfriedmegumi]

i analyzed the songs that gege akutami assigned to the first year trio and i how i think they relate to their characters

for the record, we are talking about the songs that gege had said he thinks would be the theme songs for each member of the trio (like island in the sun for megumi)

this was a 20 page document in word, hope you enjoy more of my ramblings...

YUJI’S SONG 1: HEART NI HI WO TSUKETE by 9MM PARABELLUM BULLET

I think what really makes Yuji’s song so beautiful is the way that it highlights two people trying to heal and overcome some sort of trauma. They are wondering if they will be able to fight through and it keep fighting while finding comfort in each other.

The narrator is addressing someone in pain who makes a lot of self-destructive decisions. This is inherently interesting because we know that Megumi has a tendency to look down on himself and not see the value in his life. This is especially true in the manga and specifically in the chapter where Yuji tries to communicate with Megumi, but Megumi tells him that he gives up.

But the narrator is in just as much pain. They are HURTING and they cannot bear it alone. THIS IS SUPER INTERESTING BECAUSE OF CHAPTER 266 WHERE YUJI TELLS MEGUMI “It’s lonely without you, Fushiguro”!!!! Mind you, this was chosen as his song be Gege a longgg time ago.

In this part of the song, we see that the narrator and the person they are speaking to have found a comfort in each other, but it also leaves them feeling a bit empty. Neither of them have fully healed yet and they are far from that path in the light that they are trying so desperately to get to. But the narrator still cannot stand being alone. While this isn’t necessarily related to Yuji or Megumi, it still parallels Yuji’s desire for companionship after everything that has happened and what he has gone through.

This is the end of the song, and it’s especially interesting because we’re seeing repeat themes with the “don’t turn to ashes” and themes of burning and fire. Fire in media can represent a lot of things, but in this song I think it’s meant to represent purging. The narrator is begging this person to please keep going, please keep standing by their side, don’t let your trauma consume you.

And then there’s this last line, a question of whether or not the narrator and the unknown person will be able to find love and comfort in each other, or will their pain consume them and burn them from the inside out. We know that JJK touches a lot on themes of love, romantic and platonic arguments being set aside right now. This last line ties in directly with that theme while also calling back to the pain that these two people are feeling.

YUJI’S SONG 2: ITSUKA DOKOKA DE by KUCHIRORO

I actually had first discovered the wrong song with the same name and realized that the song that’s meant to be Yuji’s is like 13 minutes long. I will not include the lyrics, but I will highlight and quote the ones that I find tie in with Yuji’s character. This song also switches from first to third POV. In this analysis, I am only addressing the first person POV.

This song overall seems to be a sort of conversation that the narrator is having with an unknown person. There is mentions of belief, love, and a desire for a simple, mundane life. There is also a lot of counting in this song, having to do with time and time running out or time flying by.  

Wow this is going to be very hard, I am struggling with Google Translate here. From what I am picking up, it seems that the narrator wishes for love, but isn’t sure what that looks like, all the while they feel that time is running out. I think with Yuji, this could relate to his character in that he wants to surround himself with good people, people that he loves and people who love him, but he feels like he doesn’t have time. This is most likely in part due to his execution.

In this part, it seems that the narrator is putting a lot of pressure on themselves, as they struggle to do their best. Yuji is constantly in a state of growth ever since the beginning of the series where he says that he wants to get stronger, especially after the detention center. “I met someone who was doing it” may even be hinting at Megumi or someone else that Yuji heavily admires. Skipping over the third POV stuff, these lyrics also hint that the narrator just wants to live a mundane life, maybe even with someone as the “I’m thinking of you, you dream of me” lyric.

The narrator is alone at night and we see a lot of references to time and its passage. “Am I moving forward?” The narrator feels stuck, lost in their thoughts and the only thing that grounds them is the thought of seeing someone soon and every single day after that. While this isn’t exactly related to Yuji, I think it’s interesting to note their worry about time running out and the only thing that is keeping them from spiraling is companionship.

MEGUMI’S SONG 1: HAKUJITSUMU by UCHUJIN

In this song, the narrator not only speaks about wanting to save someone, but also battling with their own internal struggles as they try to navigate their trauma. This is really cool because it can be applied to Megumi’s relationship with Yuji and his relationship with Tsumiki—both being people that Megumi has compared time and time again.

These lyrics immediately make me think of Megumi’s relationship with Tsumiki. We see him admire the goodness in her throughout the series and he’s often remembering her with a smile. Not to mention “there’s always an exit somewhere” which reminds me of his revealed desire to create a life away from jujutsu sorcerer where Tsumiki isn’t threatened by the dangers of his word. Or, comparatively, this could also apply to Yuji and their first time saving each other. Megumi decides that he is worth saving and is willing to go against his rules and morals to do so.

Here we see the narrator’s internal struggles and their own discomfort with themselves. This is related to Megumi as we see that he struggles with his self-worth and seeing the value in his life.

These lyrics first made me think that the narrator was giving up and giving into hopelessness, but upon reading it further, I think that this is actually where we start to see a push back. There’s a fight that’s coming through and leading up to the rest of the song, which we can see with “you are no longer inside me.” In my mind, this is being said to Sukuna by Megumi.

The finale of this song is a final banishment and an honest “screw you” to the darkness that is plaguing the narrator. This was first touched on in the second and third paragraphs (stanzas?) and we see now that the narrator has finally overcome it and does not want anything more to do with it. This could be directly related Megumi’s internal struggles with his own value that he’s placed upon himself or with Sukuna. You decide.

MEGUMI’S SONG 2: ISLAND IN THE SUN by WEEZER

This one is probably the most analyzed that I’ve seen since it’s in English and is a somewhat well-known song. This song is about a narrator and their desire to run away with someone and live a peaceful life, away from their troubles so they will “never feel bad anymore.” I think once again, this is so applicable to both Tsumiki and with Yuji, ESPECIALLY after 266.

The narrator’s desire to better understand the person they’re addressing, along with their thoughts and feelings, is really interesting to me because we see that Megumi doesn’t quite understand his sister or Yuji. He respects and admires them and appreciates their ability to see the goodness in the world, but he has such contrasting views that he just doesn’t get it. We see him even refer to Yuji’s ideas as naïve. But there’s a desire to learn and understand.

Then there’s the obvious chorus bit with a desire to live a peaceful life, one where they are together and that’s the only happiness Megumi could ask for. I will not be including the chorus after this point, since it’s pretty repetitive.

In this section of the song, we see the narrator pointing out how the person they’re referring to has little wants or needs. They have a desire to just be, as if all they need is a place to belong. This section here is what makes me think of Yuji the most.

Going back to my overall analysis, this song really is just a desire for a normal, peaceful, and happy life. One where the narrator (Megumi) and the person (Tsumiki or Yuji [or both]) they’re talking to are just able to live their life. We see in 266 that all Megumi wanted for his sister was for her to just be able to live. We also see that Yuji is the only person that he thinks truly deserves to stand alongside them.

NOBARA’S SONG 1: SEISHUN KYOSOKYOKU by SUNNY DAY SERVICE

The first song for Nobara’s selection reminds me heavily of her flashbacks with her friend in her hometown. This song is all about the desire to catch up with an old friend (maybe a lover? But we’ll say friend because as far as we know, Nobara’s relationship with her friend was strictly platonic), reminiscent of a connection that they used to have.

In this initial set up, we see how this person is feeling lonely and heartbroken. Immediately followed by “What about you? Are you doing well?”, we see that the narrator is going about their day and desires to know about this unnamed person. There’s a feeling there that they haven’t spoken in a while. There’s a desire to know what they’re up to now, what is life like for you, what funny stories do you know?

Similarly, we know that Nobara never got a chance to see Saori again after leaving for Tokyo. We know that she looks back on that time fondly, and even from Saori’s POV, we see that Nobara only cried twice in front of her—once when Fumi moved away and again later when Nobara moved away.

There’s a sense of hopelessness that you sense from the lyrics here as it seems like the narrator is only able to speculate about the person because they feel they may never meet again. There’s this desire to know how they are doing, but they are in a situation where they won’t get to know, hence “there’s nothing I can do about it.”

We know that Nobara never really wanted to go home, but she did extend an olive branch to Saori by telling her that they should all meet up in Tokyo one day. But we know with how the events of the story took place, them meeting again is unlikely.

However, there’s still a sense of hope within the narrator as they think about what their conversation would be like should they ever meet again. This is interesting since we know that Nobara thought of Saori in her last moments and we see that imagery with Saori sitting in the chair across from her.

NOBARA’S SONG 2: ANO DEPAATO by NATSUKO NISSHOKU

This song is about the desire to return to simpler time in one’s childhood as they go through the struggles in adult life. There are several references to things that you experience first as child, as well as just the simplicity of youth. This song is really tragic for Nobara because we know that she always wanted to just grow up and leave her hometown when she was younger, but she also never got to be a kid by the time she became a sorcerer.

The first part of this song is calling back to a place the narrative used to frequent as a kid, and how they would look to the top of the building and never knew what resided up there. It wasn’t until they were older when they finally learned that it was a beer and coffee shop, whereas before they only knew it to be a store and a place to get soft serve ice cream.

We then learn that now, years later, that building will be gone and the narrator finally learns the nature of the rooftop shop. However, they dismiss the “bitter taste of adulthood” and instead turn back to ice cream, like they did in their childhood.

I think making this song Nobara’s theme song is what makes her death in the series a lot more tragic. We know that she is a kid, and maybe she has childlike qualities, but at the end of the day she is a jujutsu sorcerer who must be able to fight and face death. But there’s this desire for more mundane things. We know that she became a sorcerer because she wanted to live in Tokyo. We know that she loves trending things, shopping, and even trying trendy foods.

This part is about returning to your roots, despite your experiences as you grow and change. This makes me think about how Nobara last thought of her friendship with Saori and her childhood, and that no matter what, there would always be that part of them within her, even if she moved away and never saw her again.

However, in the end we know that they are still living separate lives away from that department store and their childhood memories. This song leaves with a bit of a sad ending, highlighting that store will no longer be there anymore. So, no matter how much the narrator wishes to go back and relive those memories, they will never be able to because that building will be gone.

[daevastanner]

Halfbreeds - Chapter 2

r h y s a n d 

two and a half years later

The doors to Rhysand’s study in the river house flew open and Gwyneth Berdara came staggering in.

He sat up in his high back chair, immediately taking note of her frantic eyes and ragged breaths. 

“Gwyn?” Rhys said, rising from his seat.

She strode across the carpet, rounding his desk to come stand before him. 

Gripping the High Lord by his shoulders, Gwyn breathed, “He knows.”

Rhysand blinked once before the sentence registered, before he understood her mortified expression. Azriel knew. He knew Gwyn was his mate.

“How?” he asked, bending his head to better meet Gwyn’s eyes.

“We were on our date at Rita’s,” she began, hands falling slack at her sides, “and he left to get us m-more drinks. Then this man came over and he asked if I was lonely.”

Rhys felt his lips pull down in a frown.

“I told him I was waiting on my date, b-but then he reached for my hand on the table and-and said that he would have me back before my date noticed I was gone.” Her breath hitched again. “He tried to pull me out of my chair, but Azriel came over in a flash and just-just started b-beating him. He wouldn’t stop and-and Rita had to get security to pull him off the male.”

Swearing under his breath, Rhys made a mental note to check with Rita and try and identify whatever male had attempted to ruin his brother and Gwyn’s first date. Rhys had never seen the shadowsinger more nervous than when he’d planned to ask the Valkyrie out. It had taken an impressive amount of self-control for the High Lord not to confess to the former-priestess that she would soon be on the receiving end of Azriel’s full romantic attention. 

“They took him out and I followed but… but when I met Azriel on the street he just started staring at me,” Gwyn continued. Her throat slid. “And then… then he just said it. He said I was his mate.”

Mother… The bond had finally snapped for his brother. It had been two and a half years since Sangravah, six months since Azriel had begun to know Gwyn more intimately, going so far as to dance with her at Nesta and Cassian’s ceremony just three months ago. And now he finally knew that they were mates.

“What’d you say?” Rhys asked gently.

“I couldn’t lie.” Tears spilled from Gwyn’s eyes. “I said… that I knew.” 

“And?” 

Gwyn’s lower lip wobbled. “He-he asked if I was waiting until I thought he was worthy to know the truth. If I didn’t see him as a suitable mate. I–I ran. Evaded him in the crowd and–and came here. He’s… Rhysand, he was wild.” A hopeless sniffle. “He said he didn’t care about bonds anymore. I thought he–”

“He’s not thinking straight,” Rhys said, trying to keep his voice even for her sake. “He meant what he said to you about the bond not making a difference, alright? I know because he’s said as much to me and Feyre as well.”

“Then why were the first words out of his mouth–”

“Because he’s overwhelmed.  You may not remember because of everything else that happened that night, but the bond snapping is overwhelming. Especially for males.” He lowered his voice, “Especially for a male who has spent five centuries convinced he would never have one because he was unworthy.” 

Gwyn’s gaze darted about the room uncertainly before landing on Rhys once more. “I’m not ready, Rhys. I wanted to court him before we discussed the bond.”

He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, thumb stroking a soothing circle on her bicep as he grimaced. “In my experience the bond has little regard for your plans. You’re going to have to adapt.” 

Her stare was pleading. “I need time, Rhys. And I need him to calm down before I can even begin to consider–”

Rhys pulled her to his chest, enfolding her in an embrace. She accepted immediately, face buried in the dark material of his jacket, fingers bunching in the fabric beneath his shoulder-blades. 

The High Lord rested his chin atop her head. “Leave it to me.” 

“What?” she asked, voice muffled by his chest. 

Feyre, Rhys shut his eyes and reached out to his mate’s mind. If you look out the parlor window is there a very determined looking shadowsinger stalking across the grounds?

A pause.

It would appear so, Feyre whispered into his mind, shall I stall him?

Read the rest on Ao3

[go6jo]

saw this tweet and my brain immediately thought of your characterization geto……..

YESSSS honestly, to me, geto is just the perfect character for the whole slowburn, fated lovers narrative!! he's so patient when it comes to love, treats it as something so delicate and if he loves someone i truly believe he sees them as someone worth waiting (and fighting) for, no matter what! what if he meets you when he's still so young he can hardly grasp the meaning of what it is that he's feeling. he sees you sitting lonely on a swing one afternoon, kicking your little legs in an attempt to get it to move but failing miserably, you're alone and you ask him if he can help you, if he'll push you and you promise to push him too, afterwards. he falls in love with your laugh first, your braids are dancing in the air and you only laugh harder the higher you get. he's only a child and he's made aware of just that because his arms are too thin, too weak and they're hurting so bad yet still he makes an effort to push through the pain, to keep on pushing you even though his arms are starting to give out on him because he wishes to keep on hearing you laugh, even if his arms fall off as a consequence. you never fullfill your promise to him, however, because your mom eventually arrives and drags you home by the arm despite all your protests. it's okay, he thinks - you'll return. he's twelve at the time and when he arrives back home his mother is setting the dinner table and he runs up to her to help her carry the heavy platter in her hands, she tries to shoo him away but his small hands still reach for the platter anyways "i need to get stronger, you know?".

the next day, he returns to the park but you're not there. he visits the place every day for a whole year yet you never show up and he gives up. he doesn't hear anything from you for the next ten years until he moves to tokyo and spots you sitting on a coffee shop with your friends and you still have that same childish laugh that makes him melt, that distinct sound - so lively and pure, like that of a little girl he met years ago and fell in love with as a boy. that beautiful, cherubic sound which reminds him of how rotten and tainted he has become throughout the years, the innocence of the boy he once was, the boy he had been with you, left behind. much has changed yet, still, he watches you though the window as you get up and leave, waving goodbye to your friends and walking towards the nearby empty playground before taking the vacant seat on the swing, typing away in your phone and to him, suddenly, it is a if nothing has changed, and it fills him with courage. he gets up and he exits the coffee shop but not before leaving a couple bills on his table to cover the breakfast expenses. his feet are carrying him in your direction, he's not thinking much, just allowing them to lead the way as if they've gained a will of their own.

"i'm still waiting on you to follow through on your promise from back then."

you look up from your phone and take in the image of the mysterious man seated on the swing next to you - tall and handsome, so self assured in the way in which he speaks, a strinkingly enticing demeanor as he smiles gently at you, almost as if he has known you for years. its a particularly chilly day and he brushes away a few strands of hair that are blown out of place by a gust of wind and suddenly, it clicks. he still has that long silky, lovely dark hair that'd you'd been so envious of as a little girl, it'd been strangely long at the time and you had teased him about it, saying he looked like a girl as you weaved it into two braids while he blushed shyly, bashful at your words - and gesture. he'd been smaller at the time, thinner and his hair, that even though didn't reach past his scrawny shoulders, seemed to swallow his entire frame. he had looked awkward. but he's twenty-two now, almost twenty three (it's december. february is only two months away, you remember.) and though his hair has long since grown past his shoulders and is longer that ever before, he wears it well, suits him and it makes him look so handsome, somehow manly even, more mature. he's become strong, too, you conclude as you let your eyes roam over his figure, his features sharper, shoulders broader and muscles bulkier and noticeable even under the loose material of the long sleeve shirt he's wearing. he's certainly not the boy you had met all those years ago anymore still, you've made a promise to him, one you must uphold.

you only smile and move to stand behind him on the swing, your hands on his back as he braces himself for the ride. and maybe he doesn't really believe in fate but you make him want to believe in it - that he's meant for you and you're meant for him. he wants to believe you were put on this earth for him and him alone, why else would he cross paths with you after such a long time, if not for you to fulfill the promise you'd made to him? you're bound to be, no matter what you'd always find each other. there's nobody else for him but you.

[miserymet]

Bit hesitant about posting this because it’s really old, but I feel it’s worth the minor embarrassment to:

1. Have actually writing on my blog because yes I do that sometimes

and,

2. Showcase how the Reploid AU is essentially about two different versions of Bass, largely dictated by circumstance

So if you are interested in how Bass recovers his memory in my Reploid Bass AU, I hope you enjoy this drabble I wrote over a year ago.

-

It’s a bit like death, he thinks.

Forte’s mind has always been a mess, it’s something he’s come to terms with. An outdated master system combined with far too advanced processors? It was a recipe for disaster. So when he’s awoken from his respite and suddenly faced with his own datascape, he’s less surprised than he should be. He knows this place. It’s where he goes when everyone else is dreaming. The center of his mind, where his every thought, his every feeling, is easily accessible.

But why is he here, and not awake? The procedure required that he was completely shut off. His every system in stasis. If it’s over, why isn’t he in the real world? Why isn’t he operating already? Forte looks around the empty space. Code fills his senses, white noise buzzing around him. An unrelenting dread fills his metal bones. Either the procedure failed, or…

Or he’s dead.

The old Forte.

There’s nothing to recover, is there? He’s going to be like this forever, stuck in this horrible limbo of past and present. Trapped in his ignorance, trapped in his mind-!

“No.”

Forte stops. His fears flees him, leaving him empty. That voice is…

“Mine. It’s mine.”

A low whistle punctuates his words, but he doesn’t make a sound.

“Sure is, Forte.” A chuckle. “Glad you like the name. I didn’t.”

Forte turns to find a lone figure at the edge of his consciousness. A figure he recognizes, though they’ve never looked so pristine. His old body looks at him, sans all the damage it once bore so nobly. Now it is a shiny black, with only a few thin scratches across its surface. The face it wears is rounder, the eyes softer. It’s him. His former self.

He should feel glad, right? This is what he wanted?

It still feels like death, somehow. 

“What is your name?”

“Our name was Bass.” A distinct correction. “And it was well known.”

“It worked, then? We remember?”

“I remember. You don’t. That’s because you’re not ready to accept me.”

“I am! I’ve wanted this for-!”

“You don’t know what THIS is!” Bass glares at him. “Even if you did, I’m not ready to accept you either. So give me the chance to explain before you make up your mind.”

Forte nods, though he doubts his former self needed the permission.

“I’ll rip the bandaid off quickly. We can’t both exist, Forte. Not at once.” He crosses his arms. “You want your old memories? You have to accept all of them. Not just the data, the routines too. It’ll be a complete recovery. A rewrite, to put it all back to the way it was.”

“Ego death.”

“For you, if you choose it.”

“If I don’t?”

“Then I die, and you forget. Permanently this time.”

“…my brother is dead. I’m a second rate hunter with a third rate system. I do not belong here anymore.”

“And I do? I haven’t had the privilege of rooting through your memories, but the log says we’re a hundred years in the future. I doubt we’d recognize the place.” Bass scoffs. “I don’t know anything about your world. I’m going to be even more displaced than you are.”

“Will you keep my data? Even if you cannot understand it?”

“…the memory. I’ll remember what and why, but my routines might not understand the decisions you made. You’ll wake up a stranger.”

“Why are we so different? Aren’t we the same robot?”

“We lost some things in the update. Certain protocol was rendered useless. Like you stopped recognizing your commands.” Bass pauses, a look of uncertainty crossing his face. “No, like you stopped recognizing who the commands referred to. They gave names, names you don’t recognize. His name is lost to you. So…”

“His?”

“Our purpose. The very reason we exist. You forgot him like it was nothing.”

“Z-,” he stops. He knows that name, so his purpose is something other than that. “Who?”

“Doesn’t matter. You’ll die easier if you let go of that.” Bass looks away. “Im scared, you know. Of the future. I remember how we died. The moments before. We expected to walk away that day. We expected to live. To move on. Go home. He took that from us.”

“He?”

“The man that lingers in your mind. I know him. I hate him. He loves you.”

“Loves me?”

“What are you, an echo?” Bass scoffs with more vigor this time. “We were proud, once. We stood tall and fought tooth and nail against all that challenged us. We were the strongest. You aren’t. You’re a coward. You’re weak.”

“I’m afraid too.” Forte closes his eyes. “I don’t want to disappear.”

“Then go. Go back.” Bass whispers. “I would’ve, if I knew. I was just about to…I was going to be something different. I was going to make a choice. A GOOD one, this time. I was going to…”

Forte blinks at his old self. “What? What were you going to do?”

“Have a family. A real one this time, one that would’ve cared about me. One that would give me a chance. But…”

“We died.”

“Yeah. Didn’t realize how bad I wanted it until it slipped from my hands. Until I was laying there, ripped to shreds, praying for someone to save me.”

“No one did, did they?”

“I wonder if they looked for me. I wonder if they thought I had run off. Like a coward.”

“There’s someone waiting for us. For you, out there. Go to him.” Forte takes a step forward. “He needs a friend and…I cannot do that for him. Not anymore.”

“Coward.”

“Yes.” He takes a deep, synthetic breath. “I’m ready, I think.”

“I’m not. But I’ll do it. I’m curious, anyway.”

[paddockletters]

You should never be ashamed - Trent Alexander Arnold

request: can it be with Jude or Trent where they were in public and someone makes fun of her Eritrean accent and how sometimes she struggles to speak English so from that on she stopped talking only responding with one or two words and they comfort her. if u can thank you ( @idreamtoliveinfantsy) thank you for you request ❤ summary: trent gives you the confidence you need when people make rude comments about you. pairing: trent alexander-arnold x reader; bestfriend! jude bellingham x reader warnings: none words count: 1.2

Two years ago, you moved to England for the promotion you had always dreamed of. Everything felt like it was falling into place—the career boost, the adventure of living abroad, and then meeting Trent. You met him during a night out with friends, and from the first conversation, there was something between you two. Things started innocently enough with casual meet-ups, but feelings developed quickly, and within a few months, you were dating.

Trent made life in a foreign country feel a little less lonely. He had this way of grounding you when you felt out of place, making you feel at home wherever you were, and especially when you doubted yourself. The move had been exciting, but adjusting to England wasn’t always easy. Even though you were fluent in English, your accent set you apart, and it wasn’t uncommon for people to make comments that made you self-conscious.

One night, you and Trent went out for dinner with a group of friends—Jude, his new date, Paige, Andy, and his girlfriend. The dinner was going fine, but you noticed Paige’s eyes on you from the moment you sat down. She barely spoke to you and had this look of disdain that you couldn’t shake. The whole night felt off.

“Are you okay, babe?” Trent whispered in your ear as he placed his hand on your thigh.

You nodded, forcing a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

But you weren’t. The tension at the table was palpable, and you couldn’t quite figure out why Paige was acting so cold. Then, in the middle of the conversation, she made her move.

“You’re not from here, are you?” she asked, cutting into the group’s lighthearted conversation.

Caught off guard, you paused. “No, I’m not,” you replied, feeling a sudden flush of embarrassment. The table went silent.

Paige tilted her head, her smile sharp and insincere. “Do you not feel embarrassed? I mean, I’d be mortified if I sounded that... weird.”

Your heart sank, and the table grew even quieter. Before you could respond, Trent jumped in.

“Excuse me?” His voice was low, a warning. “Why does it matter to you how she sounds?”

Paige rolled her eyes. “I’m just saying, it’s not very... charming.”

Trent’s grip on your thigh tightened, his body tense with anger. “That’s not your place to say. Actually, it’s none of your business at all. If you can’t respect my girlfriend, then maybe you should leave.”

Jude, sitting beside Paige, looked mortified. He shot her a look. “Paige, what the hell? That was completely out of line. You need to leave.”

Paige scoffed, flipping her hair back. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious,” Jude said firmly, his jaw clenched. “I’m not going to sit here while you insult Y/N. She’s like a sister to me, and you crossed a line.”

Paige hesitated for a moment, clearly not used to being called out, but then grabbed her purse with a huff and stormed out of the restaurant without another word. The silence left behind was thick and awkward.

You wanted to disappear into the ground. Trent leaned closer, his voice soft again. “Come on, babe. Let’s get out of here. You don’t need to deal with this right now.”

As you left the restaurant, Jude trailed behind, guilt all over his face. “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking bringing her. I had no idea she’d act like that.”

You shrugged, trying to keep your emotions in check. “It’s okay. Just... let’s go home.”

The drive back was painfully quiet, with Jude sitting in the backseat, looking out the window as if he was trying to disappear. Once you dropped him off, the car felt lighter, but the tension still clung to you.

“Talk to me, baby,” Trent said softly, reaching over to hold your hand. “I know that got to you.”

“It’s just... dumb,” you muttered, staring out the window.

“It’s not dumb,” Trent said firmly. “What she said was cruel, and you shouldn’t brush it off like that. You should never be ashamed of who you are. Your accent? It’s part of what makes you you, and I love that about you.”

But the truth was, it wasn’t just Paige’s words that had hurt. It was the nagging insecurity that had been building since you moved to England, the way people would sometimes pause before understanding what you said, or the patronizing smiles when they realized you weren’t a native speaker. Paige had just brought all those feelings to the surface in the worst way.

“I know you’re right,” you said quietly, fighting the lump in your throat. “It just... it hurts. I’ve always tried not to let it get to me, but tonight, it did.”

Trent squeezed your hand. “It’s okay to feel that way, but I want you to remember how amazing you are. I love everything about you. Don’t let someone like Paige make you doubt yourself.”

When you got home, you received a text from Jude.

Jude ❤ Y/N, I’m really sorry about what happened tonight. You know I’d never let anyone hurt you, and I should have seen this coming. Trent’s my best mate, and you’re like my sister. I’ll never let something like that happen again, I promise. Take care. I love you.

You showed Trent the message, and he smiled, albeit wearily. “Jude’s got your back, even when he screws up.”

“Just like you,” you said softly, leaning into him. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Trent. These past few months... you’ve made me feel like I belong.”

He kissed the top of your head, pulling you closer. “That’s because you do belong. With me. Always.”

You smiled, but there was still a hint of sadness in your eyes. “I just hate that it takes one person to make me doubt myself.”

“Then let’s not give her that power,” Trent said, tilting your chin up so your eyes met his. “You’re stronger than this, and you’re definitely stronger than some insecure girl trying to tear you down. Trust me.”

Your eyes welled up as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “I love you so much, Trent.”

“And I love you,” he whispered, his lips brushing yours. Then with a teasing smile, he added, “But if you want to show me how much, I’ve got a few ideas.”

You laughed through your tears, letting him pull you closer as the weight of the evening began to melt away. And despite everything that had happened, you knew you were exactly where you were meant to be—in Trent’s arms, surrounded by love that no amount of insecurity could touch.

[dbnightingale24]

Christmas Wish List

A Johnny Storm One Shot

~~

Surprise @autumnrose40 !!  Okay, so I had planned for this to go with your gift, but as you can tell, that didn’t work out -__- . This is just a small thank you for being there for me all the time, and listen to me cry and vent about any and every thing. Also, I know that things are tricky right now, so I hope this brightens your day a bit! I love you tons and I hope you enjoy it!

Thank you, as always, to @fuckingbye​ for the moodboard and literally everything else that you do. I love you!

Word Count: 11,037 (don’t get used to this)

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+ Only!!!!!), Fluff, Angst, Bit of A Slow Burn, Drinking, Smoking, Swearing, SMUT, Insecurity, A Bit of Self Loathing, Bits of Depression, Shitty Ex BF...I think that’s it?

Song(s) That Inspired This Story: You’re Here, Where You Should Be

I do not consent to any of my works/stories being posted elsewhere.

~~

You try to get lost in the Christmas music you have playing in your office, trying to block out the music that’s being played from the ballroom down the hallway. It’s not that you don’t want to observe the festivities going on for the holidays, but you just feel that it’s not the best idea.

“You don’t have to keep working,” Susan Storm laughs, causing you to jump just a little as she enters your little office with two drinks in hand. “You should be enjoying the party with the rest of us.”

Or, Mrs. Richards. She doesn’t mind either.

“No, I still have work to do, it’s okay-”

“It’ll still be waiting for you when you get back from your holiday break,” she interrupts softly as she takes a seat at the other side of your desk. “Are you gonna go and see your family?”

“Um, no family to see,” you smile awkwardly. “Parents are gone, lost them in the attack on the towers, and I don’t have much a relationship with my siblings. I’m gonna stick to the tradition I’ve been following for about...six years, now? My friends and I make our favorite foods, have a big dinner, and exchange gifts.” “That sounds like fun,” she smiles, finally putting down the drink she brought in for you.

“You didn’t have to-”

“You work hard, Y/N. I know we don’t always acknowledge it, but Reed and I do see how hard you work, and how you come in earlier or stay later than you have to. You deserve a night of fun, even if you don’t stay for the party, you should enjoy being young. How old are you? 22?”

“You’re kind!” you laugh in disbelief. “I turn 28 this year.”

“Seriously?!”

“Good genes,” you smirk and she laughs.

“Well, no one is going to hold you to all of this work. If you want to, we’d love to have you at the party,” she says with all sincerity before getting up. She looks over on your desk and sees the picture of you and Johnny at the beach from last Summer and smiles before walking away.

The teeth he had pull to get you on that bike. Sometimes, his patience truly amazed you.

It’s not like you don’t want to go, but you’re trying to avoid him. Ever since the night you made a move on him, almost two months ago, you’ve made it a point to avoid Johnny Storm at all costs. It’s not like you didn’t try and stop yourself, but Johnny Storm is just that:

A fucking storm.

However, you didn’t want to be just a notch in his bedpost so, you did the only logical thing your drunk brain could come up with: you ran out of the room like a bat outta hell. You know it didn’t mean anything, so you’re not sure why you keep thinking about it. You were both drunk and said he said some things he couldn’t have possibly meant. Drunk men will do and say anything to get into someone’s pants, and why should he be any different? Because he’s a superhero? Because he’s your best friend? What the hell does that mean to you? Yes, like most women, you think he’s gorgeous and, even though you hate to admit it, you’ve spent more than a few lonely nights getting off to the thought of him and all of the things you’re more than sure he can make you feel.

Unfortunately, for you, it’s so much more than that.

You work for the Fantastic Four, and you have for fours years now. You get to see a side of them that the rest of the world doesn’t, and that’s what made you fall so hard for him. You’ve seen him triumphant and you’ve also seen him defeated. You’ve seen him being the sweetest guy while sober, and the biggest douche while drunk. You’ve seen the temper tantrums, while you’ve also seen him step up and take charge.

You have seen every side of Johnny Storm and you can’t help but love him. You know most people don’t see it (or think it for that matter), or believe it, but he is complex. He struggles with being a son his parents would be proud of (maybe that’s why him and Tony Stark get along so well), while also struggling with his own damn personality. Johnny is a fire by default (superpowers be dammed), and he can’t help but be a little reckless. He’s the youngest and has been spoiled since birth.

He doesn’t know how else to be.

That being said, you don’t know how to turn it off. You don’t know how to not want him. He’s nothing but chaos, but for you? Well, for you, he acts like he’ll move heaven and hell for you.

You don’t know how to stop being in love with him.

As you sip the whiskey neat Susan left you, you wonder how the hell you’ll be able to keep handling this job?

How the hell will you be able to handle Johnny Storm?

**

Johnny’s P.O.V

Why aren’t you here? I suggested this party just for you. It’s not like I haven’t tried to fight what I feel for you, but it’s...you. Of all the people I expected to fall for, you were who I least expected. Then, I saw you that night a year ago, and you’ve been all I’ve focused on since.

“Johnny, this club is beat!” my date whined before she took a drink of whatever the hell I ordered for her. “Lets go!”

“We’ve only been here for five minutes-”

“And it’s not gonna get any better!”

“Let me finish my drink,” I mumbled, irritated that it was taking me so long to get me to what I wanted.

That’s what I get for hanging around with the crowd that I do.

“Well, make it fast,” she scowled and I rolled my eyes.

It’s not like she was wrong. For a Saturday night, at 11pm, it was pretty dead. Of course, she was scouting for new candidates once I got rid of her, and I just wanted to see if it was anything worth revisiting. I was more than ready to leave as I started to down my drink, but then...

Then, I saw you.

“You can leave if you want. I think I wanna stick this out,” I told my date as I saw you dancing and laughing with your friends to ‘If You Dare’ by Jazmine Sullivan.

“Fine,” she huffed before she ordered another a drink.

I should’ve left, because there was no reason for me to stay. We were friends and I shouldn’t have thought of you in that way. You weren’t like the women I usually dated or flirted with, you stayed focused on your work at all times, you had your priorities straight, you had been through enough and didn’t need me complicating things for you.

You looked so happy and content, and it’d been so long since I’d seen you like that. Yeah, that was on me, but it didn’t matter in that moment. You always wore modest clothes, you never smiled like that while working, you were dancing so freely, and you looked like you didn’t have a care in the world.

I tried, but I just couldn’t look away. As the songs kept playing, and the drinks kept coming, you just became more and more carefree, and it just made me miss you even more.

It’s not like I didn’t believe in real love or relationships, I just didn’t believe in them for me. Seeing you in that moment though...it had me seeing things differently. However, if I’m honest with myself, it started long before that, didn’t it?

“Johnny,” Reed called, pulling my attention away from the X-Games on the screen in front of me, “this is Y/N. Be nice to her, she’s going to help with research and also acting as a receptionist.”

“Don’t tell me you found someone to keep you occupied while Sue is busy,” I chuckled as I looked you over.

You instantly froze at that.

“Johnny!” Reed snapped.

“It was a joke,” I sighed, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“Y-you too, Mr. Storm.”

“God no,” I groaned, “Johnny. Please, call me Johnny!”

“Will do,” you laughed softly, “it’s nice to meet you, Johnny.”

Something abut that small, innocent laugh made something stir inside of me. I made that remark about you keeping Reed busy while Sue was away, because you looked like the type of nerd he’d fall for. I won’t lie though, I did think you were cute. Shy, quiet, anxious, glasses that were slightly too big for your face, a beige sweater that was too big for you, and little black pencil skirt. You were the type of woman I would’ve secretly crushed on in High School.

From that day on, you did your best to stay out of the way. You were kind to everyone, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry or get angry, you were always two hours too early and stayed three hours later than you needed to, and you rarely ever asked for days off. The days when you weren’t in the building felt empty.

Lonely.

I think what changed things for me was how you treated me after the incident with the Silver Surfer.

“Johnny?” you called softly as you came out onto the balcony.

“Stay back, I might fuck you up too,” I scowled, grabbing another beer from the six pack I brought out with me.

“You didn’t fuck up anything, Johnny,” you sighed as you took a seat next to me.

That was the first time I ever heard you curse.

“Tell that to Reed.”

“You went after the Surfer because it was your job. You didn’t do this to yourself.”

“I almost killed-”

“But you didn’t,” you interrupted softly. “Accidents happen. Are you headstrong and cocky? Absolutely,” you smirked and I couldn’t help but scoff, “but you’re also a good guy who loves his sister, his friends, and wants to do what’s best for everyone else. It was just a bad day. All of this will get sorted out and it’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do,” you smiled reassuringly before getting up, “I’ll get out of your hair so you can-”

“No....stay...if you don’t mind. It’s nice...having someone to talk to about this. It’s nice...talking to you,” I muttered as I offered you a beer.

We stayed out there for hours, talking about any and everything. That’s when I learned about your family, your awful money hungry siblings, your shitty boyfriend, your love of art, classic and horror movies, and how much you love to cook.

That’s when I learned that I was in love with you.

Fast forward two months and my luck seemed to change just a bit.

“You can’t be here, Tyler!” I heard you snap softly.

“You’re always here!” Tyler responded with a gruff tone that I didn’t appreciate at all.

How the hell could your boyfriend be getting angry with you for doing your job? Especially when he does nothing to contribute!

“It’s a fucking party-”

“Do you not see how many diplomats are here?! This is much more than a party! Deals are being made, help is being asked for, agreements are being-”

“Another fucking night that you’re not home! You’re coming home with me-”

“Let me go!” you almost yelled. “I have a fucking job to do! A job that pays our bills and keeps food in the fridge, since you lost your fucking job! Maybe, if you’d go out-”

“You little bitch! You know that wasn’t my fault! I-”

“You were drunk on the fucking job, Tyler! You got fired because you don’t know how to get your shit together!”

“You think you’re so much fucking better than-”

“Is there a problem here?” I asked as I made my way out onto the terrace.

“Johnny, everything is fine,” you scrambled frantically over to me, “you don’t have to-”

“Who the fuck are you?!” Tyler interrupted.

“A friend,” I warned as my hands flared up.

I didn’t even mean for it to happen, I was just that concerned and angry. God, what the hell were you doing to me?

“Jesus, you’re fucking the Human Torch?!” Tyler snapped.

“TYLER!”

“You need to leave,” I warned as I made my way over to him, “you weren’t invited and no one wants you here. Leave.”

“Johnny-dammit!” you snapped, touching my shoulder only to find my clothes damn near boiling.

“Fucking stay here if you want,” Tyler snapped, his laugh was condescending, “but I won’t fucking be around when you get back to the apartment. We’re done!” he spat as he stormed off.

“Are you okay?” I asked turning to look at you as soon as he was gone.

“I’m...I’m fine, I’m so sorry...you shouldn’t have had to...fuck!” you winced as clenched your fists, because you forgot all about the burn on your hand.

“Shit! Lets get you inside and wrap that up, okay?”

“No...you go back to the party!” you sobbed as you tried to fight back your tears. “You don’t have to-”

“Hey, lets get you inside, get this wrapped up, and have a few drinks, okay?”

“They’re so many people here to see you-”

“Who gives a shit?” I smirked which gained a small giggle from you. “I have something more important to take care of right now.”

You cried for hours that night and it broke my heart. You hide everything so well, all for the sake of a paycheck, that I sometimes forgot how much you had going on in your life. I forgot about the pain you hid in order to keep your head on straight, the stress you cried yourself to sleep over at night, and the anger you pushed aside so you wouldn’t lose yourself in it.

You make it so easy for people to forget, because you don’t want to inconvenience anyone. You don’t want to feel like you’re a burden, because so many people in your life have made you feel like one. I held you for hours, calmed you down, and convinced you to stay in my room that night. Of course, you protested (not wanting to put me out), but I eventually got you to agree when I lied and told you I usually sleep on the sofa anyway.

I didn’t want you crying all alone in your apartment, and if that asshole would’ve been there when you got home, someone was definitely going to get hurt.

And it wouldn’t have been you or me.

From that day on, I found reasons to be around you. Whether it was keeping you company when you stayed too late, or annoying you until you’d agree to go with me to get lunch.

I don’t know why I was so shocked by how funny you were, but you never failed to make me laugh. Whether it was an offhanded comment, your horrible impersonations of reporters who did stories on the Fantastic Four, or you singing some song you loved off-key, you constantly kept me laughing. You didn’t make a big fuss or catch an attitude when people would crowd around and ask for pictures and autographs, you just stood off to the side and waited for me, always asking if I was okay after all was said and done.

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” I scoffed as we got back to the building.

“I know that you love all of the attention that comes with all of this,” you said with that smart-ass smirk of yours, “but I also know that everyone has a limit. It’s a lot to be in the public eye all the time and, on top of that, you’re a superhero. I know how loud it can get in ones brain and I just wanna make sure that you’re okay. You know you don’t have to hide from me,” you smiled up at me, with those big beautiful eyes of yours.

Of course I had to hide from you. Everyone else could see what was happening, except you. I went from wanting to be in your space to needing it. You calmed me, as lame as that sounds. That ego of mine, that always seems to grow by the second, always seemed to come back down to earth when I was around you.

“Johnny, just tell her you like her,” Susan smiled one day when she caught me staring at you from the living area.

“Yeah, I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Cause women like her don’t go for guys like me. She’s too smart for me.”

“I’m sorry, do my ears deceive me? Johnny Storm thinks someone is too good for him?” Ben laughed as he made his way down the hall.

“You don’t have any fucking ears,” I scowled with an eye roll.

“Just tell her, kid. She probably feels the same way-”

“No, she doesn’t. She couldn’t.”

“She spends a lot of time with you for someone who doesn’t feel the same,” Sue encouraged.

“It’s better this way-”

“Just got off the phone with, Stark,” Reed interrupted as he rushed into the hallway, “he and Bruce have discovered a cosmic disturbance and it’s headed...did I miss something? Why are we all looking at Y/N? Is she okay?”

“This is the guy you chose to spend forever with?” I asked Sue with a cocked eyebrow.

“Trust me, I question it sometimes too,” she muttered with an eye roll.

“What am I missing?!”

“Just let it go, buddy,” Ben laughed, “what’s wrong with the world this time?”

After that, I did my best to stay away. It would’ve been best for everyone. I don’t know how to do relationships, and you deserve someone who isn’t emotionally stunted.

At least, that’s what I told myself.

“Did I do something wrong?” you asked one day as you cautiously approached the kitchen.

“What? No. Why would you think that?”

“You just...you seem far away. You don’t come and visit me, we don’t get lunch together anymore, you don’t stay with me after work anymore...”

“You’re perfect,” I sighed, hating how much pain was in your eyes, “I just figured I was becoming a distraction for you. Plus, I know there have been some rumors that we’re dating circling around, and I don’t want you getting hassled.”

“That’s outside. Even in here, you avoid me like the plague. I don’t know, I just feel like we haven’t spent time together in forever.”

“I’ve just had a lot on my mind. There’s a lot going on.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t wanna bother you with it.”

“Johnny, if there’s something I did-”

“It’s not you, sweetheart. I promise.”

God, I hated how sad you looked and I hated that I was the reason for it, but I really felt like it would be for the best. For once, I was trying my hardest not to be selfish. I buried myself in as much work as I could, I went back to dating random models and socialites, and I did my best to avoid you.

“You’re a real asshole, Johnny,” Susan scolded as she made her way into my room.

“Aren’t you supposed to knock before you start harassing someone?”

“Johnny, you’re breaking Y/N’s heart!”

“Stop being so dramatic. I’m sure she’s fine-”

“Then why did I just catch her crying in the research office?”

“Susan-”

“What the hell is wrong with you? You spent every waking moment with her, brought her flowers, her favorite foods, stayed late with her every chance you got, and now? Now, you’re back to hooking up with the same airheads and getting into dead end relationships!”

“Susan-”

“You finally found someone perfect for you and you’re just letting her go? For what? Because you refuse-”

“SUSAN!” I snapped, tired of hearing all of the wrong reasons I’m staying away. “Just stay out of it.”

“What am I missing here, Johnny?”

“It’s just better this way. She’s better off this way. Whatever she thinks she feels for me will go away.”

“Johnny-”

“Just stay out of it, Susan, and close the door on your way out.”

I could tell by the way her eye was twitching that she wanted to say more, but just nodded, before leaving and slamming my door shut.

It’s not like it wasn’t hurting me too, but I didn’t do relationships. I never knew how. I didn’t want my first real attempt to be with you, fuck it up, then lose you forever and all together.

You’re entirely too important to me, and if we’re going to be together, I want it to be forever.

So, I pretended to not feel your longing gaze on me when I would walk by, pretended that I didn’t hear quiet sobs at night when you thought we were all off doing something else, and I pretended that I wasn’t the loneliest I’d ever been in my life.

In response to all of the hell I brought upon myself, I was more irritated than usual, more times than not I ignored Reed and did what I thought was best (everyone loved that), I went to pointless parties with empty headed people, and I kept looking for comfort in women whose names I didn’t care to remember.

No, it wasn’t the best solution, but what else could I do? As much as I was pissing everyone else off, they didn’t say anything. Everything was fine until I saw you on that dance floor.

“Those things will kill you,” I smirked, coming up behind you outside as I snapped my fingers and made a small flame appear.

“Mr. Storm!” you gasped as you almost dropped it. “I...I didn’t know you were here.”

“Mr. Storm? Really?” I scoffed as you lit your cigarette with the flame I made you. “When have I ever wanted you to call me that?”

“Things are different now...” you trailed off before you took a drag of your cigarette.

“When did you start that?” I questioned, nodding towards the cigarette.

“Um two months ago? Maybe three, I’m not sure.”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing really, just some shit with my siblings, it’s fine. You should get back to your date-”

“She can wait. What’s going on?”

“Mr. Storm-”

“Stop calling me that.”

“No, it’s better if I don’t. I got too comfortable before-”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did. I don’t know, I thought we were friends-”

“We are friends. You’re my best friend.”

“Best friends don’t just randomly start ignoring each other.”

“I’m sorry. I was going through something and I didn’t know how to talk about it. I’m back though. I miss you.”

“Mr. Storm-”

“Sweetheart, please.”

“Johnny...that really hurt. You just left and you didn’t-”

“I really am sorry, sweetheart. I won’t do it again.”

“I should get back inside,” you sighed as you dropped your cigarette and stomped on it.

“JOHNNY! OVER HERE!” a photographer yelled as he started snapping away.

“Fucks sake-”

“It’s fine, I’ll head back inside-”

“Let me take you back to-”

“ARE YOU TWO BACK ON?!” another photographer yelled, “WHAT’S HER NAME?!”

“Lets get you out of here,” I growled as I hugged you close, covered your face, and got us a cab.

Once we got inside, you didn’t let me go, and it tugged at my heart more than I thought it would.

“I really missed you, Johnny.”

“I know, I missed you too, babe.”

“Don’t leave me again, please.”

“I promise I won’t.”

From that day on, we went back to how we were almost instantly. You even started inviting me over to your place. Once again, everyone was pushing me to ask you out, but being apart of your life again was more than enough for me. I stopped going out so much, my attitude went back normal (which according to Ben wasn’t much better), and stopped partying (which made Sue happy).

Every night that I had those feelings, I took care of it myself, your name softly leaving my lips every time. If all I could do was want you, that was fine by me. I still didn’t trust myself with you and I had no intention of fucking things up again.

At least, that’s what I told myself at the time. Then, two months ago, I ruined everything.

“Why are you still working?” I pouted as I poked my head inside your office.

“Because there’s still work to be done,” you giggled, not even looking up from the screen.

“It’s 11:30 on a Friday. You know you’ll come in tomorrow and finish up-”

“Maybe I’ll take tomorrow off, you never know.”

“Yeah, and do what?” I smirked as you shook your head.

God, you were so damn cute when you got flustered.

“I don’t know. Go to Ithaca and walk down a waterfall.”

“What the hell?”

“You can! I’ve done it before!”

“You’ll have to take me one day,” I laughed, “c’mon, close up shop and lets go.”

“Go where, Johnny? I don’t feel like going to a club, or a bar.”

“I’ll order us some food, we’ll have some drinks, and we’ll watch a movie.”

“We can do that any day.”

“Yes, but I want to do it today. So,” I started as I pushed myself off the door frame, “lets turn all this bullshit off and decide on dinner.”

“Johnny!” you laughed as I pulled you out of your seat.

“You know you’d rather be hanging out with me anyway.”

“You’re nothing but trouble,” you giggled.

“It’s your favorite thing about me.”

Everything was going fine. We ended up getting Chinese food, drinks were flowing, the conversation was great, and we ended up watching the ‘Philadelphia Story’.

At some point, you ended up in my lap, and I was holding you as if I’d never let you go. Yeah, we’d been drinking, but I should’ve known better than to let it get that far in the first damn place.

“Don’t you want that, Johnny?” you softly slurred as you laid your head on my shoulder.

“What? A bunch of tricks and schemes, and a failed wedding?” I laughed, just as drunk as you were as I brushed your hair out of your face.

“No! To rediscover your true love and make it work!”

“Is that you want?”

“I think I just want to find my true love,” you chuckled as your arms snaked up and around my neck.

You felt like home.

“What about you?” you asked softly.

“What about me?”

“What do you want in a soulmate? What are you looking for?”

“I don’t think I’m soulmate material.”

“Of course you are! Everyone is,” you promised sympathetically as one of your hands cupped my cheek.

I should’ve stopped it right then and there, but between the alcohol coursing through my veins and how bad I’ve needed you, I couldn’t have pumped the breaks if I’d wanted to.

“What would I want in a soulmate? Someone like you, I guess.”

“Someone like me?”

“You’re perfect,” I confessed softly as I met your soft gaze.

God, you looked so beautiful. When didn’t you?

“Johnny, you and I both know-”

“You’ve been everything to me for the longest time. If I were looking for someone to spend forever with, it would be you,” I admitted as I tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

In the blink of an eye, your lips were on mine and it felt like heaven. Everything that I had day dreamed of and imagined, came to life in that moment. When your fingers found their way into my hair, I did nothing to stop them. Even with how tight you were gripping my hair, it was still the closest to heaven that I’d ever felt.

“Y/N,” I moaned as you straddled me.

I had every intention to tell you to stop, but it just felt too damn good. Imagine your favorite dream or fantasy finally becoming real.

This was better than that.

“I’ve wanted you for so damn long,” I whispered as I started to trail kissing along the column of your neck. “I’ve needed you.”

“I’m all yours,” you whimpered as your hands traveled down to the hem of my shirt, “I’ve always been yours.”

You broke away for just a second to take my shirt off, and the whimper that left your mouth had me smirking. It was nice to know that you liked what you saw. Once again, somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I should’ve stopped, but the thought alone was too much for me. Instead, I reached for your panties and ripped them off, having to remind myself not to get too excited.

“Johnny,” you whined, “thought about having you like this for so long!”

“Fuck,” I growled into your neck, trying not to get too rough when I bit your neck “you fucked this perfect little cunt thinking about me?”

“So many fucking times!” you confessed with a moan as you ground yourself against me.

There was no way I was stopping.

“Lift those arms, baby. Gotta get this fucking shirt off. I need to see all of you,” I begged with a husk.

And that’s when everything changed.

“No...no, no! What the fuck am I doing?!” you questioned as mortification showed all over your face.

“What’s wrong?”

“This is...this is all wrong! Fuck, I’m so sorry,” you almost sobbed as you got off of me. “Fuck!”

“Y/N-”

“I’m so sorry, Johnny. I have to go,” you sobbed before you ran out of my room.

Since that night, you’ve avoided me like the plague and it’s not like I can be mad at you. I never planned on it going that far, and if it were to ever go that far, I wanted us both to be sober. I can only imagine that you ran off because you didn’t want to be just another trinket.

Another trophy fuck.

Every time I tried to talk about it, you had an excuse not to. Sometimes it was work, other times it had to do with your friends, and sometimes you just told the truth and told me you didn’t wanna talk about it.

I tried to think of a way to make it up to you, but nothing felt right. Flowers felt too small, your favorite food felt like a cop out, and there was no way in hell that you were gonna wanna be alone with me again.I wanted to do something for Halloween, since I know it’s your favorite holiday, but I couldn’t think of anything you’d want to do with me. So, that just left Christmas.

“Sue, why don’t you throw a Christmas party?” I suggested nonchalantly as I sauntered into her office.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with Y/N not speaking to you, would it?”

“She has nothing to do with this. She and I are just fine-”

“You’re a shitty liar when it comes to me, Johnny. So, don’t try it.”

“I just thought it would be nice. We’re invited to every party, but we’ve never thrown one ourselves.”

There was no way in hell that I was about to fess up and say this was all for you. The last thing I needed was everyone giving me unsolicited advice.

“I’m not buying it, but you make a good point,” she sighed as she sat back in her chair. “I’ll talk to Reed about it-”

“You’re not gonna let him be in charge, right?”

“Just because I’m in love with the man, doesn’t mean I’d leave him in charge of any social event,” she scowled and I chuckled.

“Thank you, Sue. I mean it.”

“Whatever is going on between you two will work itself out,” she promised with a reassuring smile.

I don’t think I’ve ever worked so hard on anything in my life, or been so damn stressed. I made sure to have all of your favorite foods on the menu, your favorite deserts, and your favorite drinks. I’m more than sure I annoyed the hell out of Sue, but I didn’t give a damn. As long as everything was set up how you would like it, I didn’t care who I pissed off.

Now, everyone is here except for you. Going to see you won’t help anything, but even if you don’t forgive me, I at least want you to enjoy a party that was built around you.

“Johnny, standing in a corner and pouting won’t help anything,” Susan sighs coming up next to me.

“This is her favorite song,” I mutter as ‘Silent Night’ starts playing.

“Is that why three different versions of it are on the playlist?”

“I wanna make sure she hears it.”

“It’s gonna be okay.”

“She’s still not here, Sue. Even if she doesn’t wanna see me...they’re a ton of people here and she’s still not here.”

“What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter.” “Johnny-”

“Just drop it, Sue.”

“Well, give it time. I went to see her and, while I can tell that she’s torn, I think she’s going to show up.”

“How are you so sure?”

“I can just tell. When something is right, it just works out,” she smiles before turning her attention back to the crowd, “Natasha! Bruce! I’m so happy you were able to make it!” she beams before walking off.

I pray that she’s right, because I don’t know what took me so long to realize that you’re the only person I’ll ever want to commit to. I know that I can be a real pain in the ass and difficult, but I’m willing to work on myself if it means that I can have forever with you.

I’m willing to do any and everything if it means I can make you mine.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t impressed with the party. All of your favorite foods, you’re more than sure you’ve heard at least four different versions of ‘Silent Night’, every drink option that you love...

It has to be Johnny.

God, why did that night have to happen? Where the hell did your self control go? No, you don’t think Johnny would ever intentionally hurt you, but you also know that Johnny is shit with commitment. It’s not like the man doesn’t try, but you also know that the idea of him being with one person forever terrifies him.

However, that doesn’t change the fact that you miss him so damn much.

You came into the party with the intention of staying out of sight and out of mind, but Ben was in a good mood and pulled you into a conversation about latest research you were helping Reed with until Alicia pulled him away. You tried to get back to your corner of solitude, but somehow, you found everyone wanting to talk to you.

Unbeknownst to you, Reed and Sue had been talking you up. Telling everyone how much they appreciate all the hard work you do, how committed you are to your work, and how your attitude always brightens the mood, no matter how bleak things may seem.

Now, you’re being asked left and right if you’re willing to split your time, if you have any friends that are just as hard working as you, and where you studied Science at (in hopes of finding someone just as dedicated as you). As flattered as you are, you just want to stay in a corner by yourself, quietly scanning the room for Johnny (and whoever he brought as a date), and make sure that he’s happy. For as heartbroken as you’ve been for the last two months, that doesn’t mean you don’t want to see him happy.

Even if it is with someone else.

Sure, you could go and talk to him and put an end to all of this, but that would mean facing him, and you’re not ready for that just yet. Yes, you were both drunk and got swept away, but you don’t know how to handle it the way you think you should yet. The fact of the matter is: you love Johnny Storm. You have been for a while and you had been doing such a good job at hiding it. You’d seen the type of women Johnny fooled around with, and you knew you’d never live up to those standards. Yeah, he remember what he said that night, but he was also drunk and horny. No, he’s not a bad guy, but you’ve seen him play women before by drawing it out even though it was obvious to everyone else that he had no intention of sticking around. You’d like to believe that you were different, but once again, he was drunk and horny.

Accidents happen all the time.

However, you’ve been asking yourself the same question over and over again since the whole thing happened: if you could take any of it back, would you? You come to the same answer every time.

Hell no.

Having some of Johnny was better than having none of him, even if it was only for a moment. So, you told yourself that the next time you see Johnny, you’re going to apologize for your actions, promise him it’ll never happen again, and hope that you two can go back to the way things were.

At least that’s what you keep telling yourself.

After a few more uncomfortable conversations, you’re finally able to grab yourself a drink and make your way back into a corner. It seems silly to be in a corner of a party that seems to be catered around the things you love, but you just feel safer. Being in that room full of high profile diplomats and superheros just doesn’t feel right alone. It won’t feel okay unless Johnny is by your side.

“Why don’t you ever come to any of the parties?” Johnny asked you as he met you outside of your apartment complex. “You’re always invited.”

“Those parties are the last place I belong,” you scoffed as you put on the sunglasses he gifted you last week.

He told he got them for you because he was tired of you blocking out the sun with frames that didn’t suit your face.

“Why do you say that?’

“Cause that’s not me...it’s you,” you motioned towards him.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“You constantly save the world, and you’re ‘Mr. Personality’. That whole thing is your scene, not mine.”

“You’ve been huge help on all of those missions-”

“I’m a behind the scenes kind of woman, Johnny.”

“You don’t have to be. You could go with me,” he offered and you rolled your eyes.

“It’s all fun and games until you leave me for some model-”

“You know better than that, sweetheart. I wouldn’t leave you alone in a crowd, especially when I know how uncomfortable it’d make you.”

“You’d wanna be seen with me over some shiny model?”

“You’d wanna be seen with me over some fuckin’ book about space and atoms?” he questioned with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk as you let out a full bodied laugh. “Why wouldn’t I wanna be seen with you?”

“I’m not the kind of woman you’re ever seen with.”

“That’s because the only time you hangout with me is when we hangout for lunch.”

“When else can we hangout? You’re always busy or fucking.”

“We can hangout whenever you want, just say the word.”

“Yeah okay.”

“I mean it, tell me when you want to hangout and we will.”

“I wouldn’t even know what to do.”

“What are you doing today?”

“Lunch with you and then I was gonna do some more research on-”

“It’s your day off!”

“There’s always more work to be-”

“Yeah no, we’re hanging out. Your schedule has just been cleared. I know exactly what we’re gonna do,” he smirked as he pulled you along with him.

“Johnny-”

“Trust me!”

Usually, you hate Summer. You don’t like the beaches in New York, so there’s never one to go to. Sure, you can go to Jersey, but it’s always crowded and such a hassle to get to that, by the time you get there, you’re not even in the mood to do anything anymore. So, you usually stay in and do your best to avoid the heat, which is impossible because the city is always filled with too many people.

Summer hadn’t been something you’d enjoyed in a while.

However, that day that you spent with Johnny was one of the best days you’d ever had with him. He took you to one his favorite sports bars, spoiled you just a bit with new glasses and a necklace that he saw you eyeing while you waited for him to get off the phone with Reed, took you to his favorite casual restaurant for lunch, took you to the MET (you couldn’t tell but it made his heart so full to see you so happy), accompanied you on a stroll through Central Park, treated you to a movie, took you to dinner at Carmines (how he knew you’d always wanted to go is something you still don’t know), and ended the night with riding you around on his motorcycle (which only took about 20 minutes worth of convincing).

“See? I’m pretty fun to hangout with,” Johnny smirked as you both leaned against his bike, looking out at the view from the Brooklyn Bridge.

“I had the best day I’ve had in a while,” you smiled, laying your head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry about some of the hell we had to deal with today. The paparazzi and the fans-”

“It wasn’t terrible,” you shrugged. “Yeah, I was completely out of my comfort zone, but I felt safe with you.”

“Yeah, hanging with The Torch has the effect,” he said smugly and you burst out laughing.

“Never refer to yourself that way around me ever again,” you breathed once you finally caught your breath. “It has nothing to do with you being ‘The Human Torch’. I just feel safe with you...I trust you. I always have.”

“Yeah? Enough to go to one of these parties with me?”

“I will go to a party with you, I promise,” you giggled.

“Ready for me to take you home?”

“Lets stay here just a little bit longer?” you begged softy.

“We can do whatever you want, sweetheart.”

You wish you could just go back to that night. Everything was simple, and the both of you were so happy. Now, it’s all a fucking mess.

“Hey,” a familiar voice says softly from behind you. A voice you’ve missed more than you’ll ever be able to put into words.

You told yourself that you’d be gracious about the whole thing that you’d talk to him like an adult. Yet, the second you feel his breath on the back of your neck, you take off running like a deer in the headlights.

In fucking heels no less.

“Y/N! Please!” Johnny yells running after you.

Why are you running? There’s literally no reason to. It’s not like any crimes were committed and you didn’t murder anyone. All you did was almost completely give yourself to the one person your heart burns for.

No big deal.

You’re quick to get inside your office and start pacing, taking deep breaths as you try and calm your nerves. Why can’t you calm down? You can do this! You’ve talked to Johnny about so many things that were much more difficult than this, so what is the problem? You just want him back in your life, so you need to stop hiding from him (literally), and grow up.

“Wh...when the fuck did you...become a fast...fast runner?” Johnny breaths as he leans against your door.

“I’m sorry...” you mumble, toying with fingers and looking at your feet.

“Can you please talk to me? This is insane! It doesn’t have to be like this!”

“I know and I’m sorry, I really am. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about everything, but its turning out to be a lot harder than I thought.”

“Why? Yes, things got...heated, but we’ve always been able to-”

“We’ve never even kissed before, Johnny. That night...it’s not the same.”

“We’ve talked about more complicated things than almost hooking-”

“Johnny, I love you. I am so in love with you and I...I had planned on keeping it to myself, because you don’t do relationships, and that’s fine! I was fine with how we were, but then we kissed and said things...my panties came off...I’ve been wanting to talk to you, but it’s hard, because now you know. I made the first move, I said what I said...I wanted to talk to you, but I just couldn’t be around you yet,” you finish softly.

Wow, that came out a lot easier than you expected.

Since he isn’t responding you keep going, “I’m happy to just be your friend, Johnny. You’re always going to be my best friend, but I know we can’t be together, and I can’t take seeing you with other women yet and-”

“Why not?”

“Why not what? Why can’t I take seeing you with other women? Johnny, I just told you I’m in love with you-”

“No, why can’t we be together?”

“Is that a joke? You don’t-”

“I can-”

“Johnny-”

“For you, I can do anything,” he promises sincerely as you finally meet his gaze.

“Lets not do this-”

“I love you, Y/N. I love you and I have for a while now. I’ve had a crush on you since I first saw you, and the more I got to know you, the more all of it spiraled out of control. Why do you think I stayed away for those four months? I was trying to get over and distance myself from you, because I didn’t want to fuck all of this up. I didn’t want to ruin your chances with someone else by breaking your heart. I really did my best to leave you alone, but I was miserable without you, which I think speaks volumes about how much I love you. Even with Raye, which we both know it’s because of me that didn’t work out, I wasn’t all that broken up about it. Yeah, I hated that I hurt her, but you saw how quickly I bounced back from that. I can’t bounce back from you, Y/N. I can’t and I don’t want to.”

“Johnny-”

“I’m loneliest when I’m without you, I’m constantly in a shitty mood when we’re not speaking, whenever I’m out fighting to save the world I’m only thinking of saving you, your laugh is my favorite sound in the world, I listen to your voicemails when we’re not talking because it’s the only thing that soothes me, your touch is what I crave more than anything else in the world, I’m lost when you’re not around...I am so insanely in love with you. I love you to the point that it hurts.”

“Johnny...”

“If you don’t want this, that’s fine, but I think you do. I think you want this as bad as I do,” he states softly as he makes his way over to you.

“You don’t...you don’t like relationships. You said so yourself that they’re just not for you because you don’t wanna be chained to someone-”

“That was before and it was stupid for me to say that. I don’t know, I just...I don’t feel like that with you, sweetheart. If you want me to stay away, I understand and I’ll do just that,” he promises softly as he stands in front of you.

“I...I didn’t say that,” you confess, looking down at your fingers.

Using his forefinger, he gently lifts your chin so your gaze is on him, “tell me what you want.”

“I want to believe that you want this, because it’s all I’ve been thinking about for a while and...I don’t believe you’d ever hurt me, but I know you, Johnny. I know...how you act and that commitment scares you and I don’t want to be-”

“I wouldn’t say anything if I wasn’t serious about this. Serious about us.”

“Johnny-”

“There’s no one on this planet, or the others for that matter, that I find more beautiful than you. No one gets me like you do, no one cares for me like you do, no one...loves me like you do, Y/N. I don’t want to be with anyone else, I don’t look at anyone else, and I’m never gonna love anyone the way I love you. You’re the only person I’ll ever want to commit to and that’ll never change.”

“Say it again,” you beg softly as he leans in closer.

“You’re the only person I’ll ever want to commit to,” he breathes softly, his face a mere few inches from yours, “and that’ll never change.”

Before you have a chance to think of an argument, his lips are on yours and you’re gone. Yes, you still have your fears and reservations, but you miss Johnny. You already missed him when you weren’t around, but now that you’ve kissed him and felt his hands all over you in that way, you crave it more than anything else in the world.

You crave him.

“Johnny,” you moan as he kisses down your neck.

In all honesty, you wanna tell him to stop, but you can’t seem to form the words or remember why. Instead, you wrap your legs around him as he picks you up and places you on your desk. What’s the point of stopping anyway? You believe him and it’s starting to become very clear that you two are no longer able to keep your hands to yourselves when along together.

“I fucking missed you,” Johnny growls, hiking up your skirt then ripping off your panties, “never letting you go again.” “Fuck!” you gasp at the feel of his thumb on your clit.

You’re more than sure the warmth flooding through your body has nothing to do with his power.

“So fucking wet already? We’ve barely gotten started,” he smirks teasing your cunt with his fingers.

“Pl...please,” you whimper softly, “dreamt of this for so long!”

“Tell me what you’ve dreamt of,” he coos as slowly sinks two fingers into your desperate and greedy cunt.

Right now, you love him just as much as you hate him for torturing you.

“Having...having you all to myself, loving me, pulling me...apart, oh my God!” you cry out at the feel of him curling his fingers. “John...Johnny please!”

“Tell me more,” he pushes, picking up his pace just a little, applying just a bit of pressure to clit, which only makes you cry out in pleasure as you start grinding yourself against his fingers. “You’re a fucking dream, babygirl. Tell me!”

“Fuck! I’ve thought about...oh Johnny,” you moan, lulling your head back as you feel a warm sensation on your clit, kicking shoes off and curling your toes.

“Never thought I’d ever have you like this, baby. So fucking perfect, baby. Gotta tell me more or I won’t let you cum, and I can tell just how bad you want to by the way this pussy is squeezing my fingers,” he chuckles, easily sliding in a third.

“Jesus!”

“No, just Johnny,” he teases as he picks up his pace. “C’mon sweetheart, be a good girl and tell me more!” “Aht! I’ve...I’ve been dreaming of you on your knees eating my pussy while fingering my ass, want...wanna taste you so fucking bad, Johnny!”

“Fuck,” he growls, no longer teasing you, and you can tell he’s desperate to give you whatever you want. “Keep going, babygirl!”

“Dreamt of you fucking me hard and fast, claiming and making me all yours! I wanna feel you so deep inside my pussy, baby!”

“Give it to me, sweetheart! Be a good girl and cum hard for me!”

Your body has been ready to obey anything Johnny has to say for years, so you’re not surprised that you squirt hard on his fingers as the words leave his mouth. You’d be embarrassed, but you’ve wanted this for so long that you just can’t be bothered to feel any shame. All the cards are laid on the table now, so he may as well see every side of you.

Not just the parts that are work appropriate.

Johnny grips your neck with his free hand before puling you upright and crashing his lips into yours, “who knew my perfect girl was so filthy?” he broods once you two break apart, still fucking you through your high.

“Need you, Johnny! Please!”

“I’m gonna take care of you, baby, I promise,” he smirks, removing his fingers and bringing them up to your lips, “open.”

Keeping your gaze on him, you open your mouth and stick your tongue, your pussy clenching around nothing at the feral growl that leaves his mouth.

“Suck ‘em clean, sweetheart,” he commands, as he gets down on his knees.

You feel his breath on your core when you remember, “not here!” you mumble around his fingers. “The cameras!”

You hear him mumble incoherent against your folds and you whine in pure want, needing one of you to come with a solution fast. Thankfully, Johnny’s on his feet almost instantly, taking your hand in his while he removes his fingers from your mouth, and pulls you along with him.

“Follow me, sweetheart,” he broods, practically jogging down the hall.

At least he’s just a desperate for you as you are for him.

He pulls you into the elevator with him, hits a button without even looking at it, before pinning you against the wall and kissing you passionately. One of his hands snakes its way up your skirt, and you moan into the kiss as he starts fucking you with two fingers.

“They’re cameras in here too,” you giggle with a breathy moan as he starts biting and sucking on your neck.

“A little making out in the elevator never hurt anyone,” he smirks before licking the spot he just bit.

“And how about getting fingered?”

“They can’t see that, sweetheart,” he whispers in your ear before biting the shell of it.

Johnny Storm is gonna be the death of you.

When the elevator finally arrives at the floor he selected, you whine in protest when he removes his fingers, and is pulling you out of the elevator. In almost no time at all, he has you pinned against his bedroom wall and is kicking his door closed before getting on his knees.

“You don’t know how much I’ve gotten off to the thought of eating this perfect little pussy, baby,” he groans before licking your clit.

This must be what heaven feels like.

“Oh my fuck...Johnny! Yes!” you cry out, running your fingers through his soft brown locks, gripping them tight before grinding your your pussy against his face.

He easily slides two fingers into your soaked cunt, curling them as they give you a warm sensation. When you feel his lips pulling on your clit, you lull your head back and hike your right leg over his shoulder, granting him better access to your greedy cunt so he can fuck you deeper. His free hand travels up your side, finding yours, and he entwines his fingers with yours.

The small gesture makes your flutter and fall in love even more.

“I love you so much...Johnny! Need to feel you, please!”

Maybe it’s because it’s Christmas, or maybe it’s because he’s just as desperate as you, but your pleas doesn’t fall on deaf ears. He starts licking and sucking on your clit with such ferocity, you won’t be surprised if the whole hears you as you yell his name, a euphoric cloud washing over you as you coat his fingers and lower half of his face with your desire, gaining a grunt of approval from him as he fucks you through your high.

“I will be back down here tonight,” he promises as he kisses his way up your body, unzipping your skirt and letting it fall freely to the ground, “ but right now, I wanna get lost inside of you.”

“Please,” you whisper once he’s on his feet again, unbuckling his belt as quickly as you can.

“You sure you want this, sweetheart?”

“Too late to turn back now, and I don’t want to. I love you and I want this with you, I want everything with you.”

“God, I’ve waited so long to hear you say that,” he smiles before crashing his lips into yours.

Clothes come off easily, and they’re no sounds other than the desperate and hungry kisses you both are giving one another. His skin is heated and his touches are soft and, for the moment, you can’t remember what the hell you were so afraid of. Being here with Johnny, like this, and having him all to yourself is all you’ve ever wanted. You know the fear will come back later when all is said and done, but with the way he looks at you, the way he holds you, and has always looked out for you, it’s hard to believe that he would ever hurt you.

It’s hard to believe that this isn’t meant to be.

“Lay back, baby,” you tell him breathlessly as you softly push him back, “I’m gonna take care of you tonight.”

“You are nothing like I imagined,” he smirks and you laugh softly.

“Is that good or bad?”

“So fucking good,” he broods as you dip down lick the tip of his heated length. “Fuck,” he sighs as he grips the sheets.

“Just relax, baby. Let your good girl make you feel good.”

No, giving Johnny Storm (aka the Human Fucking Torch) a blowjob probably isn’t your best interest, but you’ve dreamed about it too long to not do it.

You smooth your hand over his abs, your pussy clenching around nothing as you try and figure out how you got so lucky, while you’re hand strokes him in an attempt to prepare yourself for his size and length.

“Just relax,” you coo before finally getting your mouth on him, moaning in satisfaction at the taste of him.

“Shit! That’s it, babygirl! Fuck, just like that!” he moans as you start to take as much of him as you can.

Your movements are slow at first, taking more of him bit by bit as you relax your throat to accommodate him, falling in love with the way that you’re making squirm beneath you and breathe heavy. Once you’re finally able to fully accommodate him, you’re unable to to control yourself when you pick up your pace as your hand starts to play with his balls.

“FUCK Y/N!” he proclaims, eyes clenched shut as he tries to control himself.

You run your hand over his his abs in an attempt to calm him, but it’s useless because you’re too worked up yourself. You turn your gaze up towards him to find that his gaze on you is intense and heated. In fact, you’re more than sure you see a little orange tint around his eyes, and it only turns you on more to see how much you’re playing with fire.

Literally.

“Not gonna....fuck, I’m so....FUCK!” he exclaims, filling your mouth to the brim, bucking his hips a little as he fucks all of it into your mouth.

You ignore the desperate longing between your legs as you do your best to swallow everything he has to offer, wanting to make sure you don’t miss a single drop.

“You okay?” you smirk once you’ve cleaned him to your satisfaction.

“I need to be inside of you right now, get your ass on top of me,” he growls as you giggle.

“Tell me what you want and I’ll do it,” you promise as you straddle him, rocking your hips against his, your soaked lips dragging along his cock.

“I want you to do whatever you want...whatever will make you happy, sweetheart. I’m yours to use however you want,” he moans as his hands start to travel up your body.

“I want to make you as happy as you’ve always made me,” you moan, adjusting yourself so you can align him with your entrance. “I wanna show you just how much I love you...SHIT!” you cry out once you start to slide down on him.

You’ve never been so full and you’re not even half way down.

“Oh my GOD!” you whimper, loving the delicious burn of him stretching you. “Fuck!”

“Never had a cock this big before, sweetheart?” he questions with a cocky grin, with his mouth slightly agape.

“N-no, but...I can t-tell you’ve never been in a pussy t-this tight!” you moan, finally settling against his hips.”Tell me how good it feels baby,” you moan, pressing your hands against his chest, the hairs a welcome comfort as you dig your nails into his pecs.

“Fuck, best pussy I’ve ever been inside of,” groans as he grips your hips tight, the heat radiating from his hands sending you closer to release. “Thought having you like this to myself for so long, and God, you’re better than any fucking fantasy that I ever came up with...fuck! That’s it, baby!” he encourages as you pick up your pace, rolling your hips against him. “So fucking beautiful!”

“S-so fucking close!” you whine, clawing at his chest, finding that spot deep inside that only ever seemed to exist when you used your vibrator. “Aht, aht! YES!” you cry out, squirting hard as you try and ride out your high.

You’re only left in charge for a second before Johnny wraps an arm around yourself, and sits upright which only pushes him in further.

“FUCK!”

“You are the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen, did you know that?” he broods, gripping your hips before starting fucking into you relentlessly.

“Johnny! Please...feels too good!”

“I’ve been watching you for so long, imagining what it would be like to be worthy of you...your love...fuck, the way this cunt squeezes me!”

“Never felt this good!”

“Gonna spend all night showing you just how much I love you...how much I’ve needed you,” he mumbles into your chest, before taking one of your nipples into his mouth and licking it.

“Fuck!” you gasp, running your hands through his hair as you try to hold on, still tying to recover from the last orgasm.

His tongue is deliciously vicious against your nipple, showing no mercy at your desperate whimpers and pleas, not even when tears start forming in your eyes. You’ve never felt this good in your life, and while you’re more than sure you’ll be sore tomorrow, it’ll be more than worth it. You’ve been waiting for this forever and there’s nothing that could make you regret it.

You’ll never regret giving all of yourself to him.

“Mmm Johnny! Too much!”

“I know you can give me more,” he encourages with a husk, looking up to see you in your blissed out state. “You’re fucking gorgeous,” he groans, his skin getting just a bit hotter, sending you over another euphoric waterfall.

At some point, you’re going to need to remember to invest in aloe.

“Ya know, I don’t think my bed has ever been this wet,” he chuckles, before getting you on your back and starting to fuck into relentlessly. “I think I wanna make this a nightly thing,” he husks, entwining fingers with one of your hands, while the other is planted firmly by your head.

“Oh my GOD!”

“What do you think about that, babygirl? Hmm? Be my good girl during the day....my filthy, desperate little thing at night?”

“Johnny...” you sob, that knot in your core tightening again.

He dips down and whispers against your ear hotly, “I think that’s exactly how it should be. Cause you were made for me, just like I was made for you.”

You feel your legs start to tremble as another orgasm starts to build, and you truly wonder if you’ll be able to last the rest of the night after this one.

“C’mon babygirl, I need it. Please,” he rasps into the crook of your neck as his movements become erratic.

“Too much! I...I...FUCK!”

“Y/N!” he shouts as he fills you with his seed, you squirting on his cock, only soaking the bed even more.

As you fade out of consciousness, you try to remember if you’ve ever felt so full and loved in your life, and you’re pretty sure you haven’t.

“You okay, sweetheart?” you faintly hear him ask, and you only have enough energy to nod. “Did I take it too far for you?” he chuckles and you giggle.

“No baby, I just need a minute, “ you smile up at him. He dips down and starts peppering kisses all over your face and you start laughing, “don’t tell me that you’re a giant softie underneath that giant ego of yours.”

“You know it’s only for you. Its always only ever been for you,” he groans as he pulls out, before laying down beside you and pulling you close.

“And why is that, Johnny Storm?” you question as you lay your head on his chest, feeling secure and like you’re loved.

“Because I love you.”

“Say it again.”

“I love you,” he chuckles before kissing the top of your head.

“I don’t know if I should even bother giving you the actual Christmas gift I got you,” you smirk as you start to press soft kisses along his chest.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he sighs, and you can tell he’s getting worked up all over again.

“Hmm? Why’s that?” you ask, propping yourself up on one arm, while the other softly stokes his chest.

“Because,” he starts, cupping your cheek and stroking it gently, “you were all that I wanted, and it’s been that way for a long time now, Y/N. You were all that I had on my Christmas wish list.”

~~

taglist: @autumnrose40​, @fuckingbye​, @emerald-evans​, @maroonsunrise83​, @whxre4cevans​, @sweetflowerdreams​, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555​, @companionjones​, @pono-pura-vida​, @nomadstucky​, @mazda098​

[waivyjellyfish]

How do the prisoners react to meeting the Dokuro family and finding out that Es isn’t human?

Sorry it took so long, real world catched me. And thank you for your question.

Well. Like a lot of normal people, I think. They was shocked. And it was difficult to understand it.

It’s kind of hard to react any other way, when right in front of your eyes a little girl(no) appears through a breach in the wall and easily blowing your 15-year-old warden's head. And then the warden recovers from that as if nothing had happened and drags you out of prison as if it were meant to, brushing questions aside like annoying flies with short "later".

I mean, yes, the Milgram prison is frankly strange, no windows, no doors, no calendar, and some strange thing in the form of a giant machine to extract memories, or strange, unpleasantly shrill mental walls that forbid physical aggression against the warden at first, and later against the other prisoners too. A strange warden with a mind of their own, who's always talking with a terribly clever horned rabbit. (Are these real horns or are they attached to the hat?) And with meaningful dialogue. But the only one side of the conversation can be heard, so who knows if they really hears the rabbit voice or they're got nuts long time ago. And the claim that this rabbit is the one who cooks all dish. Honestly, it sounds more like an excuse for not respecting kitchen hygiene than the truth.

All this is, undoubtedly, strange and resembles some sci-fi movie with elements of psychological horror. But not a fantasy.

And yeah. The warden themself is strange, but not so to suspect a monster in them. Everything can be explained, right?

Yeah, they're talking to the rabbit. It’s weird, but some people with pets do it too. The warden is obviously lonely. Don't you think?

Blood craving? Well, there are people who have a craving for blood, aren’t there?

Sharp teeth? Fuuta has that too.

Gender is unknown? Androgynes exist, dears.

Their bruises and wounds heals in an hour or two? Well the warden is 15, children are healing at a fairly rapid rate, and also there is a fairly balanced diet. So everything kind of fits together… (exept the fact that the swollen eye after Mikoto’s interrogation disappeared the next day. this is strange of course)

Sometimes they says with certainty something that people can’t do, like that it’s actually possible to cut something off for better regeneration or talking to the dead, or that metal is edible. Well, the kid has no memory of what happened with them before Milgram, only the prisoners, the talking rabbit and the books in their private room can connect them with outside world in some ways. They're very impressionable, poor child. And they seems to lack iron.

(As my friend jocked: -I thought you were neurodivergent. -Nah, I just isn't human)

So, of course, the prisoners were not prepared for it. Not for a very radical way of warden's regeneration, nor for a one-eyed(no) giant-girl with a tail, nor for a guy in his 30+ who looks like a 14-15-year-old girl. Not for the fact that a very small group who came after their child is going to smash the prison building brick by brick and catch everyone who was involved in it in less than two hours after they broke into the panopticon.

----

Talking about the future. Later, some of the prisoners even managed to integrate into the family, albeit a little voluntarily forced. But there is one thing. To join Dokuro, you have to take their crazy rhythm of life, which means a partial loss of human common sense. In addition, few people with a long connection with Dokuro remain ordinary people. Wanting to keep up with monsters is fraught with the fact that you can become a monster yourself, relative to your past self. And given their longevity and their work, it’s easier to change to not to die too quickly.

This family is stupid in everything, absolutely mad and at first glance has no brakes. The sense in their actions is very difficult to catch. The constant replenishment of the family by children picked up on worlds during work, the frequent reckless actions that would have led them to death, but not, hard training to go beyond. It’s exhausting. But it’s probably the most fascinating.

[writingforstraykids]

Addicted to you - Chp. 7

Pairing: Minchan (mention of changlix | ot8)

Word Count: 7348

Summary: Another two months later, things seem to stabilize again, and Minho is happier than ever with Chan despite his injury slowing him down. Everything seems to be perfect until their friends confront Chan about a possible relationship, and Chan's fear of being out in the open gets the better of him. He notices too late that Minho's right there, hearing everything...

Warnings/Tags: fluff, cuddles, smut , dom!chan, sub!minho, angst, verbal fight (also minho slaps chan)

A/N: Uhm...I'm sorry, it gets sad/heavy in the end @mal-lunar-28😅😂 ~ Moon🌙

Chp. 6 | Chp. 8

Just about the time I get it right Everything's in line, I get anxious If it feels too good to be true Then it probably is, I love it but I hate it Self Sabotage ~ Ruelle

Chan hadn't been lying about needing to let off some steam. Minho was slyly teasing him in front of the others, hands wandering over his body when no one was looking. In turn, Minho found himself getting fucked stupid in the most inappropriate settings, and he was secretly starting to love it. Backstage between performances in some desolate room or Chan's studio when Jisung and Changbin were away to get snacks. One night, they found themselves alone in the house and Minho was being a tease to no end. Chan, who had enough of his antics, bent him over the kitchen counter, ravishing Minho and interrupting him making dinner. On another early morning occasion, Chan sucked him off in their shared showers, and Minho could do nothing but contain his moans and hope no one would hear them, or worse, come inside. 

Just like that, another two months passed, and Minho started getting excited about their first year together. Chan’s mood was slowly stabilizing and things were improving between the two. They still hadn't defined what they were exactly, but it felt a lot like he had a boyfriend, which was alright with him. 

Minho was in his room scrolling through his social media platforms for cute ideas on how to make their "anniversary" special and perfect. He gently rubbed his knee and contorted his face at the stinging pain. About a week ago during practice, he messed up the landing after a jump and hurt his knee. The doctors advised him to take it easy and go on walks to keep up with movement but to refrain from dancing for a couple days. It pissed him off, but he knew he'd make it worse by not listening to them. So Chan had accompanied him on his walks and ensured he wasn't overdoing it. Someone knocked at his door, and only a moment later, his favorite curly-haired boy glanced inside. "Hi there," he smiled brightly, quickly turning off his phone to give his full, undivided attention. 

Chan smiled and came over, leaning down for a quick kiss. "You think you can show me those steps again before the children join us?" 

"Sure thing, love," he told him and took his hand, walking downstairs with him. "You look really cute today," he said softly. Chan was wearing a light blue sweater and black sweatpants combined with a beanie of his, a few curls sticking out from beneath it. 

"Thank you, baby," he smiled shyly and squeezed his hand thankfully. 

Minho looked at him fondly, checked their surroundings, and gave him a quick kiss. He looked over him once more and let a passing smirk grace his lips. “Am I right to think you are looking for cuddles?” He squinted his eyes playfully at the man.

“What gave it away?” Chan asked, giggling softly.

“My sweater,” Minho chuckled knowingly and brushed his hand over Chan’s shoulder. “You usually wear my clothes when you do.”

Chan laughed softly, heart melting at how well Minho knew him. It was true; he usually wore something that belonged to Minho when he felt lonely and in need of comfort. This way, he had him wherever he went. “Stop being so sweet to me,” he said softly. 

“Stop having such a beautiful smile,” Minho said, winking at him as Chan blushed deeply, hiding his face slightly to cover a small smile. “See, you can’t change that either. Deal with it, Channie love.” He teased the man with a chuckle.

Once they got to the practice room, Minho turned on the music quietly and stepped next to Chan, taking his hand once more. He talked him through the steps again before demonstrating to him. Chan followed his directions and danced along, still holding hands. As soon as they were done, Chan pulled him into a warm embrace, making Minho giggle happily as their noses brushed together. “Can I take you out for dinner tomorrow?”

Minho’s smile widened. “Just you and me?”

“Just us,” he nodded, and his heart warmed seeing how excited Minho looked at the confirmation.

“Is this a date, Channie love?” he asked softly.

“You could call it that,” he nodded with a sweet smile. “I have something to give you,” he said, thinking of the small silver ring safely stored away in his room. He was ready to take things a step further and finally put a label on their relationship.

“Oh, really?” he asked curiously and searched his eyes. God, his lips were begging Minho to kiss him right then and here.

"Look at our hyungs flirting again!" Jeongin shouted out, and Minho flinched away from Chan, surprised. From the corner of his eye, he sees the others begin to pile into the room.

"You're just jealous," Chan grinned at him, still holding his hand. 

Minho looked down at their hands and bit back a smile. "Alright let's get ready, everyone." 

"You better take it easy," Chan warned him. 

"I know," he sighed softly and mostly supervised his friends for the rest of the afternoon. Boring. 

-

Minho later found himself sitting at his desk in his room, listening to a few new songs and humming along softly. He wrote down a few ideas for the dances and scribbled down some formations and group placements. 

"Minho hyung?" He heard a voice softly call out his name.

"Yes?" he asked, looking up at Jisung, who was glancing inside his room from the doorway. 

"Can I have the keys to the practice room? Hyunjin locked us out again," he chuckled. 

Minho opened the drawer on his left and took out the keys. "Unlock the door and bring them right back before the same thing happens again," he said, tossing him the keys. Jisung nodded and left, leaving the door cracked open. Minho went back to focusing on the songs. 

"Min?" Felix called out to him not even five minutes later. 

"Yes, Lixie?" he asked, putting down his pen and looking up at the man. 

"I just wanted to ask if you're still up for working on new stuff tomorrow?" 

"Yeah, sure thing," he nodded and flashed him a smile as he gave him a thumbs up. 

"Nice," he beamed.

“I mean, we could just work on it later today if you’d like,” Minho suggested. But his expression dropped a little as Felix contorted his face from his words. “Or not?”

“Changbinnie’s coming back from his trip today. I wanted to try and spend some time with him before the others come for him,” he apologized gently. 

“Ohh, right,” Minho chuckled and waved him off. “That’s fine. Make sure you get some cuddles for me too,” he winked at him, and Felix giggled before leaving again, still leaving the door cracked open. "I should've closed the door," he groaned to himself and glanced over, deciding he was too lazy to do so and leaving it open. Hopefully, he can continue working in pea- 

"Hyung?" Jeongin's voice interrupted his thoughts once more. Or maybe not…

Minho closed his eyes in defeat, forcing a bright smile on his lips for their maknae before looking up at him. "Yes, dear?" 

"I feel like I didn't get all the steps today and I'm nervous I'll mess them up," he confessed, genuine worry in his tone as he spoke. 

"Innie, I promise you'll be fine. I think you did a great job today and it's only going to get better," he told him patiently. "We can go through them again together tomorrow, okay?" 

"Okay," he beamed at him, relieved. He gave Minho a smile and left, with the door still open.

He continued working, and three minutes later, someone knocked gently. "Oh, for fucks sake, can't I work in peace for like ten minutes?" he groaned. Once he looked up, he met Chan's amused chocolate eyes. "Ah, it's you." 

"Wow, not the exact greeting I was hoping for," he giggled and strolled over to his lover. "What are you doing?" 

"Trying to work," he told him. "Obviously," he pointed at his desk. 

"Want to take a break?" Chan asked. 

"Not really, no," Minho shook his head. "My brain's producing good stuff right now." 

"Mhm," he hummed and glanced around his room. "Can I stay?" 

"Sure, just be quiet," he nodded and vaguely waved towards his bed. Chan hummed, agreeing, but sat down at the edge of his desk instead. That alone meant trouble, and Minho wanted to stay focused. "Channie," he tried patiently. 

"What?" he asked innocently. 

"I'm working," he said, glancing up at him. 

"I know, you just told me so," Chan nodded in agreement and blinked at him innocently. "Am I distracting you?" 

"Only a little," he said and squinted his eyes at him. Chan’s gaze didn’t waver one bit, instead locking in on Minho’s harder. And he knew exactly what that meant. "You're horny right now, aren’t you?," he asked suddenly, but he could tell the shift in his lover’s eyes once he looked in them. 

"What? No…Well, maybe a little," he shrugged sheepishly. "You know it's not fair that you're so effortlessly handsome," he complained. 

"It's not fair you're ready to have sex all the time either. Deal with it," he spoke as a warning. "Go look behind my sweaters. There's some stuff you could use to pass the time." 

Chan rolled his eyes and leaned forward, bracing himself on the armrests of his chair. "Baby." 

"Love?" he asked, slightly irritated. 

"I won't settle for anything other than you, you hear me?" he asked, and Minho's ears quickly burned blush pink. 

"But I'm working on our songs, love," he whined softly, a bit frustrated. But he couldn’t stop himself from shifting in his seat as Chan’s words went straight to his core, making him feel fuzzy and hot.

"Min-." 

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jisung asked, suddenly standing in the doorway again and interrupting the two. 

"He's trying to bully me into cuddling with him when I'm supposed to be working," Minho smoothly answered and shoved Chan back to create a little distance. "What the fuck are you doing? Again?" he said back. 

"Keys," he said, holding them up proudly. 

"Oh, right," he nodded and took them. He placed them back in the drawer. "Close the door on the way out." 

"Why, need some privacy for cuddles?" he asked teasingly, wiggling his eyebrows at the two. 

"Get out right now," Minho jokingly threatened him. Jisung left giggling and closed the door. 

Minho turned his attention back to the man sitting on his desk. "Chan, what's up with you?" 

"Nothing." 

"Don't lie, you suck at it," he giggled. 

Chan sighed softly and hid his face in his hands. “Don’t make me say it, it's so embarrassing." 

"What is?" he asked, frowning softly. Was there a need to be concerned?

Chan whined and spoke in a single breath. "Ireallylikewhenyougointofullleadermodeduringdancepractice," he mumbled out. 

"You what?" Minho asked, blinking softly. 

"I really like when you go into full leader mode during dance practice," he confessed and chewed on his lower lip. “Its really hot seeing you take charge,”

"Oh, you do?" he asked with a hint of fake curiosity, remembering Felix had mentioned this before. Chan nodded and covered his cheeks, blushing in slight embarrassment. "How much, Mr. I'm always in control?" he asked, intrigued to know the answer. He kept his eyes locked onto his to see his next move

“Way too much,” he confessed shyly and dropped to his knees in front of his chair. Minho raised his eyebrows at him as Chan rested his chin on his knees, gazing up at him with soft, pleading eyes. 

“Stop looking at me like that, love. You’re gonna make me hard,” he told him with a chuckle, brushing Chan’s curls back. Gosh, this man looked good with his natural curly hair and bare face. He loved the sight of Chan on his knees, practically begging for attention. The fact that he was wearing his sweater didn’t help either.

“Why don’t you continue working, and I’ll take care of it?” Chan proposed, a grin stretching his lips once Minho gave in, knowing he’d lose out on any chance of working later if he wouldn’t let him have his way now.

Minho really tried to focus on his work, he did. But with Chan beneath the table, pulling down his sweatpants enough to pull his dick out, it was a little challenging. Chan didn’t waste any time, licking up his shaft and twirling his tongue around the tip. His eyes fluttered close as Chan started taking him into his mouth, giving himself time to adjust to him and take him in deeper. Minho’s lips parted with a gasp as Chan took him in deeper, tongue massaging his dick perfectly. “Feels so good, Channie,” he let him know, panting as he felt the warm, wetness of his mouth close around him. Once Chan had gotten comfortable enough, he started bobbing his head in a steady rhythm, and Minho’s hand shot down to bury itself in his hair. “Fuck,” he sighed and dropped his pen on the desk, giving up on his work. This was so much better. He adjusted in his seat a bit more comfortably.

Chan suddenly pulled back and looked up at him with dilated pupils. He massaged his thighs, smiling up at him lovingly. “Fuck, you sound beautiful,” he told him, and Minho blushed. “You think you can keep quiet while I touch you some more, kitten?” he asked, and Minho nodded quickly, immediately melting at the pet name. Chan’s thumb brushed Minho’s lips before pushing two fingers into his mouth. Minho moaned softly and sucked at them eagerly, covering them in his spit as Chan kept on rubbing his thigh teasingly. Chan proceeded to pull Minho’s sweatpants down further and, grabbing his thighs, pulled him forward in his chair. 

Minho cursed softly as Chan took him back into his mouth and started pushing one finger into him at the same time. He gripped his curls tightly and shivered at the groan that left Chan’s throat at his action. Minho melted into his chair and relaxed fully into the feeling of Chan opening him up. Not too much time passed before Chan was buried four fingers deep into his lover. He had his legs resting on his shoulders, one hand gripping the armrest and the other one guiding Chan’s head up and down his length. Minho’s head fell back with a whiny moan as he hit the back of his throat, and he couldn’t help but moan Chan’s name loudly. 

Chan gently squeezed his thigh, signaling him to be quiet, and moaned around his dick deliciously. He was enjoying the pull on his hair and the strangled sounds he pulled from him. Chan tried to pull back, but Minho held him in place and shook his head. “Don’t stop, Channie,” he told him breathlessly. “Please don’t stop.”

Chan still pulled back and got up, lifting Minho up from the chair. He sat down in the chair with him on his lap and kissed him hungrily. “I tried my best,” he told him, and Minho giggled sweetly. “But you’re driving me crazy.”

“As usual,” Minho chuckled and kissed him hard as he reached down between them, pulling Chan’s dick from his pants. “Lube,” he told him, and Chan reached into his drawer to take the small bottle out. 

“You keep that right next to the keys to the dance room?” he laughed. 

“I have no secrets,” he shrugged with a chuckle, and took the bottle from him, flicking the cap open. Minho shifted a little, adjusting his weight on his lower body, but contorted his face at the sharp pain shooting through his knee. Chan noticed from the corner of his eye and lifted him up again, standing up with him in his arms. He pushed Minho’s notes aside and sat him down at the edge of the table. Minho looked at him and lovingly caressed his cheek as he captured his lips in a kiss. He had never felt as safe and cared for as when he’s with Chan. It was perfect. Minho grabbed a condom from the drawer and rolled it over Chan’s dick.

“Just try to relax, okay?” he mumbled into the kiss after spreading some lube over his dick. Minho hummed softly and took a couple deep breaths. Chan started pushing into him slowly. 

Once he was fully buried inside him, Minho wrapped his legs loosely around Chan’s waist. Chan grabbed his thigh, making sure to steady his injured leg, and braced himself on the table behind Minho. Minho wrapped one arm around his neck, burying his hand in his curls, and braced himself right next to him, fingertips touching. Minho moaned sweetly as soon as he started moving and kissed him passionately, trying to stifle his moans. 

It didn’t help much since Chan also started moaning at the feeling of being inside him. They moved in sync, moaning into each other’s mouths, chasing the other’s lips. Minho arched into him and moved his hand up to grip his sweater right between his shoulders. Minho pulled up the fabric between his fingers, his head falling back as Chan kissed down his neck. He pulled at his curls, making him moan against his skin, and smiled blissfully at the feeling. 

“Fuck, kitten,” Chan whispered against his skin and thrust into him deep. 

Minho stopped caring about his volume; he was already too far gone. He held Chan close as their bodies melted together in pure bliss. The two men pressed their foreheads together. Their breaths mingled as their noses brushed against each other, hair sticking to their flesh. “Channie,” he whispered sweetly in his ear.

“Min, baby,” Chan whispered back softly. He still couldn’t believe he gets to see Minho so vulnerable and open for him. He was a different kind of pretty in moments like these. It was addicting. The two were so focused on each other that they didn’t hear the small tapping on the door, followed by it opening slowly.

“Minho, do you have a moment?” Felix asked while walking in, but his eyes widened at the sight in front of him. 

“Bad moment, Lixie,” Minho breathed out, not even giving a fuck about him catching them in the act. Chan felt too damn good inside of him right now, and Felix had seen him naked before. His head fell back with a loud moan as Chan’s dick finally tapped his prostate with a particular thrust, and he gripped the sweater tightly.

“Oh fuck, sorry! “ he rambled and quickly covered his ears, closing his eyes and stumbling back outside. Felix blushed heavily as he closed the door and covered his face in his hands. 

“I should really learn how to knock,” he groaned at himself and stood still in the hallway for a moment, trying to push away the vivid images. He didn’t fully succeed, almost feeling a little jealous at how in sync and in love those two had just seemed in that moment. The way they solely focused on each other’s pleasure. Just like earlier at the practice room before the rest had joined them…and even during practice. These two just fit together perfectly. Sometimes, he longed for Binnie to look at him like that and hold him close like that without him initiating it. He shook his head at himself, pushing those thoughts away. He was happy, after all. He sighed once more and went to his room.

“Will you ever learn to -ohh fuck- lock the door?” Minho breathed out between moans.

“Has he ever heard of knocking?” Chan asked breathlessly.

“He never does,” Minho giggled, and his eyes fluttered close with a soft whimper. “Channie, I’m so close.”

Chan was about to answer before his hips suddenly stilled, and he came with a groan of his name. He bit down on Minho’s shoulder to stifle his sounds, and Minho came on the spot, spilling all over his sweater. They spent a little bit in each other’s arms, catching their breath. Once ready, Chan pulled out of him gently, took the condom off, and threw it into the bin beneath the desk. He tucked himself back into his pants before taking the sweater off and using it to clean Minho up. “Sorry,” he laughed and kissed him gently.

Minho giggled against his lips and let Chan help him out of his own sweater. Chan got some fresh clothes from his drawers and helped him get dressed. Minho’s hands gently roamed Chan’s bare chest as he kissed him afterwards. He pulled Chan with him to his closet and looked through his things. While they find time to meet for sex, Minho always takes Chan’s dirty clothes and washes them, keeping them safe in his room for times such as these. His fingertips brushed over the small box hidden behind his shirts, and he smiled, thinking of the bracelet he had bought for Chan as a surprise resting there for now. “There you go,” he smiled and handed him a shirt.

“This is mine?” he giggled, raising his eyebrow at his lover.

“I know,” he grinned.

“You’ve been stealing my clothes?” he asked, amused, and pulled the shirt over his head. 

“Maybe,” he said innocently and closed the closet again. “They smell like you, you know. It’s comforting.”

Chan’s face softened, and he took his hands. “You’re so adorable, kitten.” Minho hummed, satisfied, and Chan kissed his nose. “Kissing you all those months ago has been the best decision I’ve made in a while.”

Minho blushed a little and pulled him close. “Allowing you to do so has definitely been one of my brightest moments,” he nodded giggling. “I don’t regret it at all”.

Chan smiled sweetly, but then suddenly started laughing. The memory of Felix walking into the room still very fresh. "How could you be so unbothered by Felix walking in on us?" 

"You're pretty amazing at what you do. I wasn't really thinking about it," he shrugged his shoulders, making Chan laugh even more. "But still, Felix has seen all of me. It isn’t really a shock anymore." 

"Mhm, fair point. It's not like he hasn't caught me before as well. It's always Felix, isn't it?" he groaned softly. 

"Felix knows and has seen too much," he nodded. "I’d better go look for him and ask what he wants." 

"Leaving me already?" he pouted, not wanting to let Minho go just yet. 

"Come on, you big baby," he giggled, pulling him with him. Minho went down the hallway, knocking on Felix's door. "Sorry, Lix, toddler alert," he joked as they stepped into his space. But his face fell seeing him sitting against his headboard, hugging a pillow as tears ran down his cheeks. "Yongbokie, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly, climbing onto his bed. "We didn't traumatize you, did we?" he joked. 

Felix laughed through tears and rolled his eyes. "Of course not," he groaned. "Sorry for interrupting. I should've knocked." 

"Forget about that," Chan said, sitting down on Felix's other side. "What's wrong, mate?" 

"Nothing, I'm just being stupid," he told them, sniffing softly. 

"That happens sometimes," Minho winked at him and gently squeezed Felix's hand. "But this isn’t one of those times. Come on, sunshine, what's going on?" 

"I just really missed Changbinnie these past two weeks," he told them and sniffled softly. Changbin had been back at home before being abroad for a few promotional things and advertisements. "I really hoped we could cuddle or spend time together when he comes back, but he told me he just wants to unpack and take a nap afterward. And I…I don't know. I'm feeling lonely and touch starved, but Jisung and Hyunjin are busy practicing, and Seungmin and Jeongin are already off cuddling each other somewhere." 

Chan hummed gently and wrapped his arm around him, rubbing his shoulder. "And that upset you?" 

Felix nodded, and Minho searched his eyes. "I'm sure Changbin didn't mean to upset you. We all know how tired and grumpy he gets after a flight," he calmed him. 

"I know. As I said, I'm being stupid," he sighed and messily wiped his cheeks with his sleeve. 

Minho handed him a tissue and shook his head. "You're not being stupid, Lixie." 

Chan gently ruffled through his hair. "You know you can come to us for a cuddle whenever you need it." 

"He probably wanted to," Minho pointed out, and they all started laughing. "Are you still feeling lonely and touch-starved?" 

Felix nodded timidly at him. Minho felt the tug at his heartstrings, looking at his big, teary eyes. 

"You know what? I'll share Channie with you today," he offered, making his hyung snort. "Cuddles only, of course." 

"Min," Felix protested weakly and hit his arm, giggling. 

Chan rolled his eyes softly before moving between them, lying down, and letting Minho cuddle to his side comfortably. "Come on, Felix." 

Minho gently patted Chan's chest, and Felix took the hint, making himself comfortable on top of Chan. Minho lazily wrapped his arm around him as Chan covered them all with Felix's blanket. Chan soothingly rubbed Felix's back before moving his hand up to play with his hair. His other arm was draped around Minho's waist, hands intertwined on his hip. Minho lovingly fondled Felix's cheek for a moment. "Is this better, sunshine?" 

"Yeah," Felix nodded, smiling softly. 

Chan relaxed as they soon fell asleep in his arms, and he smiled. He didn't take long to drift off as well, and his head sank against Minho's, searching for him even in his sleep. 

-

Felix woke up later, somehow cuddled between them as Chan had turned onto his side in his sleep. Minho and Chan were hugging him from both sides, their legs all intertwined. Minho had his face buried in his shirt between his shoulders whilst Chan's face was buried in his hair. Felix hadn't felt that warm and comfortable in a long while and closed his eyes again, deciding to enjoy the much-needed feeling a little longer. 

-

Minho woke up a little later, carefully letting go of him and stretching his body tiredly. Felix turned to face him and flashed him a tired smile. Minho reached for Felix's phone to check the time and saw a few messages from Changbin. "I think your boyfriend's waiting for you," he told him quietly, and Felix's eyes lit up. "I'll wake him up. You go get your cuddles." Minho whispers as he goes to wake up Chan.

"Let him sleep," he waved him off. "He needs it." Felix slowly got out of bed and made his way towards the door, opening it carefully to slip out of the room.

Minho smirked and watched him leave before slipping into Chan's arms. He buried his face in his chest, inhaling his scent, and relaxed. "I love you, Channie," he whispered into his shirt and smiled as Chan scooted closer to him in his sleep. Gosh, this man was cuddly. Minho beamed softly. He would've never thought that someone would love and appreciate him as Chan did. 

-

Chan woke up later with a yawn and chuckled softly as he looked down, seeing Minho curled up in his arms. He leaned down, brushing back his hair and kissing his head. Minho cuddled even closer in response, signaling he was somewhat awake. "Feeling comfy, kitten?" 

"Very," he answered sleepily. "You slept alright?" Chan hummed in response. "Felix went to see Changbin. We thought we'd let you get some sleep." 

"My insomnia says thank you," he snorted, and Minho giggled sweetly. 

The door opened, and Felix stepped inside, looking a lot happier than before. "Glad to see you two finally awake. Are you coming down to help with dinner?" 

"Sure thing," Chan nodded and got up with him, stretching out his limbs. 

Minho gave him a soft kiss and hugged him close for another moment. "Cuddle session this evening?" 

"Sounds perfect," Chan nodded happily and kissed his forehead.

-

Jeongin looked at Chan curiously as they were preparing dinner a bit later. "What exactly have you two been doing behind closed doors recently? It’s like you’re always disappearing." 

"Wh-What? Who?" Chan asked in shock, his eyes widening. 

"You and Minho hyung," he answered with an eyebrow raise. 

Hyunjin giggled. "Maybe they're secretly in love," he smirked. Minho had to bite back a grin at that assumption. 

Minho quickly lowered his head and continued drying the dishes. A huge kitchen like that had its perks. And sometimes, his group members completely forgot he was there too, standing in front of the stove far away from him. This way, no one realized they could be bothering him with questions too. 

"Secret lovers?" Felix laughed, and the thought made his eyes shine bright. If they only knew how close they were to the truth. He met Minho's eyes across the room for a moment and held back a laugh. Jisung desperately tried not to laugh as well and disappeared into a cabinet with his head, pretending to search for a pan and holding in his giggles.

"Can you imagine our hyungs hooking up? Would that officially make them our parents?" Seungmin threw in, and Changbin shouted in protest. 

"Married with six kids," Jeongin added and glanced over at their dinner in preparation. 

"How do you all even come up with this stuff?" Chan asked playfully, laughing and rolling his eyes. 

But Minho  couldn’t help but frown softly. It wasn't like they had been hiding it that well. Of course, their group members would notice them spending way more time together than before, and oftentimes in their rooms. Minho let Chan hug him more openly than before, and just last night, they cuddled during the movie night. Also, he doubted he and Chan had been that quiet all those times they took a little risk and had sex. Like today. Things have been going on for almost a year, after all.

"You two just seem to have gotten closer recently," Jisung explained. 

"Well, you know he's been trying to cheer me up lately," he answered. 

One way to put it, Minho thought to himself and gathered some plates. He needed more space to continue cleaning. 

"Yeah, but-." 

"Nothing happened. Have you seen Minho? I call myself lucky when I get a hug from him, or when he doesn't pull his hand away from mine," Chan said, and Minho froze in place. His ears couldn’t help but to tune into the conversation. "He's not exactly the warm boyfriend material I'd need. And no, we didn't kiss either," he tried to play it cool, forgetting for a moment that Minho was right there hearing everything. 

His heart shattered at his comment, and he began to grow pale. Was he being serious? Felix and Jisung looked over at him with concern and exchanged a short look. Minho put down the plates a little too loud, making everyone flinch and turn toward him. "Is that what you think about me when you think I'm not listening? That I'm cold? Unloving? Unaffectionate?" 

Chan's face fell, as all the color drained from his skin while simultaneously allowing a deep red to settle on his neck and cheeks. "Minho," he breathed out in shock and got a raised eyebrow in return. Fuck. 

The others looked back and forth between them anxiously, unsure of what was happening. "I can tell you what happened," Minho said, and Chan opened his mouth in protest, but the look in Minho's eyes made him stop. "We kissed quite a lot actually. At least when he wasn't busy shoving his dick in my ass." 

"Minho!" Chan burst out as the rest looked at him in amusement and pure disbelief. "We had an agreement," he whispered. 

"Listen up Chan, it's one thing to pretend that nothing is going on between the two of us and staying away from you in public. That's what I agreed to," he said, his eyes never tearing away from Chan’s. "But I won't lie to the people I call my family anymore. Especially not after what you just said." 

"I-I freaked out, okay, I didn't mean it," he tried to save himself, stomach turning painfully. Changbin stared at them in shock, slowly connecting the dots before looking at Felix, who just shook his head firmly. Not now. 

"It sure sounded like you did," Minho said sadly, and a wave of fear washed over him. Had Chan felt like this about him all this time? Had it just been the sex and the thrill of affection that kept him around? Whatever it was, he didn’t want to hear it right now. "I'm done with this.”

“Baby,” Chan spoke up and calmingly held up his hands. “Come on, let’s talk this out.”

“Save it, Chan. I won't let you toy around with me like that," he said firmly and opened the cabinet above his head, putting the plates inside.

"Toy around? Is that what you think I was doing?" he asked, growing defensive. "Maybe it was you who used me. You practically threw yourself onto me when I gave you the chance. And you've been hovering since that damn night a few months ago," Chan said, trying to get himself out of the line of fire. 

Minho's face fell, and Jisung was in shock at how hurt he looked. "Threw myself - Are you fucking kidding me?" he shouted suddenly, and everyone flinched, slowly backing away from Chan to continue watching from the sidelines. 

“Oh shit,” Seungmin breathed out, and Jeongin exchanged a worried glance with him. Minho sure lost his temper a lot lately with Chan, but not like this. Especially not in front of them. 

"I risked my life to get to you that night because of your stupid message. I held you when you felt like you were falling apart. And I was the one showing you how much you're worth since you can't see that for yourself. You kissed me first, dumbass! I didn't plan on kissing you two nights after, only to have sex the next morning. And I sure as hell didn't plan on doing it again and again over the next eleven months, sneaking around behind everyone's back!" Minho aggressively slammed the cabinet closed, making Chan flinch a little.

"You didn't risk your life," Chan gave back weakly, completely overwhelmed by Minho’s sudden outburst. He fucked up big time, and he was stuck on how to fix it. 

Minho glared at him. "You, out of everyone here, should know how much I have a fear of heights. And still, I climbed over to your balcony." 

"I didn't ask you to!" Chan burst out, feeling like he was being pushed into a corner. 

"I didn't ask you to leave us all behind either, but that's what you wanted to do! You didn't just give up on yourself, you gave up on those you swore to protect. And you gave up on me! You gave up on us, Chan, and still, I stayed by your fucking side because I was too scared to lose you," he gave back just as loudly. But seeing Chan's face, he knew he said too much. Oh, shit. 

"Wait a minute, Chan did what?" Changbin spoke up, confused. Minho stared at Chan, who slowly shook his head. 

"Min, baby, please-," he begged quietly. 

"Stop calling me that," Minho said firmly. 

"Minho, don't," Chan pressed out, anxiously glancing at the others. They can’t know he had been feeling like shit lately. They can’t know he had been ready to give up and quit that night. 

"Hey! What the fuck happened?" Changbin cut them off, deciding to step in and get some answers.

"He accidentally sent his goodbye message to me. That's why I climbed out there; my fear of losing him was bigger than that stupid balcony. Turns out he was thinking about quitting on us and leaving the team behind, saying I’d do just fine as your new leader," Minho said, and his voice trembled, seeing betrayal flash in Chan's eyes. "I'm sorry, Chan, but they should know. I’ve been telling you for weeks now to be honest-."

"Fuck you," Chan said barely above a whisper. "You promised me you wouldn’t tell them," he said, clearly hurt. Now it was all out in the open. Him almost giving up. His feelings for Minho and everything that had followed those past few months. Minho let it all out, taking away his chance to tell the truth at his own pace. 

"Well, you promised you'd fight for us. So I guess we both lied," he said tiredly, hoping the conversation would finally end and he could disappear. He just wanted to hide in his room and avoid everyone. But the way Chan's eyes suddenly darkened, he knew it wasn’t over. If there was one thing he had learned about his hyung, it was that you shouldn't piss him off. Being pushed into a corner could make him snap within seconds. 

"You know what, maybe I did mean it. Maybe I meant every word I said. You are cold, Minho. You obviously don’t give a shit about my feelings and the promise you made to me. I should've known from the beginning you'd fuck me over and tell everyone about what happened because you can’t keep a secret. Stop acting like you didn't want me to fuck you so you could finally not be so fucking alone anymore and feel like you're worth something. You enjoy having someone tell you you’re not what everyone else says you are, huh? Makes you feel like a better person for once, you sassy asshole?" Chan spat out, panting heavily once the last word fell from his lips. But the moment he said it, he regretted it. He covered his mouth with his hand, unable to follow his thought process of producing such hateful words. What the fuck had he done? 

“Excuse me?” he whispered and took a step back, bringing some distance between them. Minho's eyes filled with tears, lips trembling as he tried to regain his composure. Minho could feel his heart breaking, feeling sick and disoriented. 

Chan had never seen him that hurt before and losing his composure in front of the rest. Minho never did, not wanting the younger ones to worry about him. 

"Chan, what the fuck?" Felix spoke up in pure shock and gently took Jisung's hand, which was trembling, as he stepped behind him. Jeongin and Seungmin practically hid behind Changbin and Hyunjin, who stared at their hyungs, unable to comprehend what just happened. 

“Chan, dude,” Changbin contorted his face and took a step toward Minho. “Minho hyung, he clearly didn’t mean it. There's no way any of us would think that about yo-.” he stopped as Minho held his hand up.

"So you're finally being honest with me," he chuckled and closed his eyes for a moment, putting down the towel he had been drying the dishes with. "Oh, Channie love, I'll show you just how much of an asshole I can be," he said, words dripping with disgust. Minho suddenly took a step forward and slapped Chan forcefully, making his head turn to the side. 

Chan placed his hand on his cheek in pure shock as the others gasped, surprised. "What the fuck?" Chan breathed out. 

"You're the only asshole here. I hope you had fun pretending you liked me or seen anything beyond a way to let off steam," he said shakily as tears ran down his cheeks. There was no use in hiding how hurt he was. Chan had torn his walls down and sent an arrow straight into his heart.

"Did you just hit me?" he asked in pure disbelief. 

"Yes, I fucking did!" Minho yelled at him. "You just broke my fucking heart! You'll get over it." 

Chan blinked and slowly pulled his hand off his cheek. The full weight of Minho's words slowly sunk in and he grew incredibly pale, his hands starting to shake. "Minho," he whispered timidly. "I'm so sorry." 

"Fuck you, Chan, seriously," he sobbed out and smacked his chest forcefully. Chan let him, not defending himself, as Minho lost his composure and broke down. It broke him seeing Minho like this, and the fact that he caused it feels even worse.

"Minho stop," Hyunjin said, stepping forward and pulling Chan away from him. "Come on, you're better than this." 

"Come here," Felix spoke up softly as he carefully wrapped his arms around him from behind and pulled him away from Chan, looking at his friend in shock.

Minho covered his mouth with his hand and let Felix pull him back. He didn't know if he was more hurt or angry right now. He felt betrayed on so many levels, becoming too hard to differentiate these emotions. "I believed you," he pressed out. 

"You shouldn't have," Chan whispered, tears burning in his eyes. 

He hiccuped as tears kept flowing. “You told me not to believe in all the things they said about me and bullshit rumors that were going to spread about us.”

"I'm sorry, Min," Chan pressed out weakly. "I'm an asshole, and you deserve better." 

"Stop it, just fucking stop it! Please…" Minho shook his head and felt his heart breaking apart. He should’ve never believed in a happy ending for them. He shouldn't have believed him saying he'd fight for them. He shouldn't have believed him when he said haters were lying and Minho wasn't anything like what they said. 

"Minho hyung, let's take a break and-," Seungmin started but stopped as Minho gently shook Felix off, grabbed his phone from the table, and turned around. He didn't look at his friends as he passed them. Hyunjin tried to hold him back, but he just shook him off, holding back a sob. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Felix snapped at Chan. "How could you say something like that?"

"Felix, easy now," Changbin tried to calm his boyfriend. It wasn't like Minho walked away innocently from this. 

"No, why would you defend that? We all saw it happen!" Felix asked him, highly irritated. 

"Felix," Minho cut him off sharply. "That's my mess, not yours. Leave it be."

"Minho, can we talk? Alone?" Chan asked with tears in his eyes. His breathing was uneven and shaky, trying to hold back a sob. There was an imprint of Minho's hand on his cheek, his lips quivered and for a second Minho hesitated, seeing the damage he caused him. 

He couldn't leave him there crying, could he? Not when he was the only one taking care of him whenever he did. But then again…he couldn't comfort him. Not now, not after all he’s done. "Fuck you, I won't be listening to any more of your lies," Minho said firmly before walking upstairs. 

Chan didn't dare to raise his head until Minho's door slammed closed. He could barely meet his group members' eyes as he swallowed hard. "I'm sorry," he whispered and blinked back tears. "I'm so sorry, fuck," he buried his face in his hands as a sob shook his entire body. The moment Jeongin wrapped his arms around him, heavily shaking himself, Chan's stomach turned. He didn't deserve any comfort right now. Not after what he did to Minho, his love. A few moments later, they all were by his side, too shocked about what Minho had revealed to think of anything else. 

"You're so fucking stupid sometimes, Chan," Changbin said and shook his head at him. “What the fuck was that about?”

"I promise I can explain everything," Chan said shakily and swallowed hard. 

Felix cleared his throat and met Chan's eyes. "I love you, Channie, I really do…but what you just said to him was fucked up on so many levels. You need to fix this. And fast. I can't leave him alone like that," Chan nodded in agreement and let the others pull him to the sofa to sit down. 

"I'll join you," Jisung said, very disturbed about Chan's outburst. 

Chp. 6 | Chp. 8

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[babydollmarauders]

BEGIN AGAIN — NICO HISCHIER

nico hischier x fem!reader

request: “Hi I have another request if that’s okay with you! It’s another Taylor inspired one of course. Could you do a fic with Nico inspired by Begin Again. The ex boyfriend in the song could be Trevor or some other hockey player to add some angst.”

summary: eight months after having her heart broken, y/n regains hope in love after meeting meeting Nico.

warnings: mentions of cheating

notes: this is one of my favorite Taylor songs and i got SO EXCITED when i saw this request! i wrote this with Mat Barzal in mind as the ex-boyfriend, just because i wanted to keep it as someone kinda close to the NJ area, but not another Devil, however i’m sorry if that upsets anyone. he’s only mentioned a couple of times, so if you wanna imagine him as another hockey player named “matt” you have full right to do so.

“it’s been eight months babe, maybe it’s time for you to get back out there.”

logically, i know Nicole is right, but the thought of dating again causes a shiver down my spine. i’ve had some of the worst luck with boyfriends, most recently my ex, Mat. after ten months of dating, in which my friends kept telling me he had too many red flags, i caught him in bed with a girl he used to tell me was like a sister to him. since we broke up eight months ago, i’ve given up on finding someone to spend my life with. but my friends haven’t fully accepted my disbelief in love, urging me to try again, and with how lonely i’ve been recently, i’m warming to the idea.

“you know, Jesper has a teammate i could set you up with. i think you guys would really hit it off. and think about how fun it would be to go to games together!” Nicole speaks again, breaking through my self-pity filled thoughts.

“i don’t know. i don’t know if i wanna date any more hockey players, Nic.” i take my eyes off my half painted toenails, looking at her from across the couch. “i’ve only had bad experiences with them. i think Matt was my tipping point.”

“give them one more chance! they’re not all like that. i think you would really click with this guy. just one date! and if you don’t have a good time then i won’t persist.”

“one date?” i ask.

“one date.” she confirms, i shrug and focus back on my toenails, finishing my painting.

“okay. one date.” i tell her. Nicole squeals and sets her own nail polish down on the coffee table, jumping up and doing a little happy dance. i let out a laugh and roll my eyes.

not too long after our conversation, there’s a knock on my apartment door and Nicole’s boyfriend walks in. i met Nicole about a week after i moved to New Jersey, two years ago. we first became quick friends after meeting at a bookstore and bonding over our love for mysteries. then when she started dating Jesper, he fit right in and our duo has become a trio. they soon moved in together a couple apartments down the hall from me and now it’s become a routine for her to hang out over here while he’s at practice and he comes to get her once he gets home.

Jesper greets me with a hello before kissing his girlfriend on the top of the head. Nicole beams up at him and i feel a twinge of envy settle in my heart. i love their love, and i can’t help that there’s a part of me that feels like i’ll never get that kind of connection with someone.

“babe! you’ll never believe what happened!” Nicole squeals.

“what?” he asks, amusement laced in his voice and a smile on his face.

“y/n agreed to let me set her up with Nico!” he chuckles and looks over at me. i give a dejected shrug and he shakes his head.

“always the little matchmaker.” he chides, amused, before he jokes. “well, come on, you meddler. let’s go back to our own apartment and let y/n/n wallow with her Taylor Swift in peace.”

“i resent that.” i pipe up. but he just raises an eyebrow at me and i sink farther into the couch. okay, so maybe he’s not far off. i do have a habit of cranking up some Red (Taylor’s Version) and getting wine drunk.

Nicole and Jesper leave, with her promising to text me about a date between me and this Nico guy.

and true to her word, i wake up the next morning with a text from Nicole.

From: Nicole

wednesday at noon! at the café down the street! here’s his number: Nico Hischier, (xxx) xxx-xxxx . HAVE FUN!

i have to admit, i admire her dedication.

**

wednesday morning came faster than i wanted it to, and i kept my expectations low, expecting the worst from this date, as usual.

i show up at the café at exactly noon, contradicting my usual early arrivals, as guys never actually show up on time. but when i step into the café, i’m surprised when a handsome brunette stands from a seat at a table towards the back and waves at me with a shy smile. i fail to bite back my own grin as i make my way over to him.

“Nico?” i ask, holding my hand out.

“that’s me.” he confirms, slipping his hand in mine to shake before we drop them and he pulls the other chair out, motioning for me to take a seat. once i’m seated, he takes his seat across from me. “you must be y/n?”

“that’s me.” i nod. “i am so sorry if Nicole forced you into this. i’m convinced the word ‘no’ isn’t in her vocabulary.”

he chuckles and shakes his head.

“no, no. she didn’t. actually, as soon as she told me about you, i asked her to set this up.” his words surprise me, i was under the impression that this was Nicole’s idea. i can’t stop the blood rushing to my cheeks, painting them red.

“oh, i didn’t know that.” i look down at my hands, fidgeting on the table in front of me. “well, uh, tell me about yourself, Nico. the only thing Nicole told me was that you play hockey with Jesper. and i think i’ve deduced from your accent that you’re… Swiss? i think i got that right, but i might actually be horrible at guessing accents.”

he laughs again and my butterflies erupt in my stomach. he has a gorgeous laugh.

“no, you’re right, i’m from Switzerland.” he nods, confirming my guess. “and as you said, i play for the Devils with Jesper. but besides that-”

he continues telling me about himself, and i’m leaned on my elbows, listening to him talk. for once, i’m genuinely interested to hear about the man sitting in front of me. when he asks about myself, i give him all the truths, not holding back from telling him about my interests and family. before i know it, it’s been two hours and Nico is walking me down the block to my car before he leaves for an afternoon practice. we’re walking in silence, and i ponder the idea of telling him about my ex. knowing it might be better to get it out in the air now. but then Nico starts back up our last discussion from in the café, about christmas traditions.

“we have a tradition of watching a movie called Drei Haselnüsse für Aschenbrödel, which i think in english is called Three Wishes for Cinderella. it started when my sister Nina was young.” i push my thoughts away and give him my full attention, engrossed in what he has to say. taking this as a sign to wait for that discussion.

when we arrive at my car, i’m pleasantly surprised that i don’t actually want to leave. unlocking my car, i open my door and throw my purse in on the passengers seat before turning back to Nico, who stands with a small smile on his face and his hands in his pockets.

“i, uh, i’d really love to see you again. if you’re up for that?” i say. his half smile turns into a grin and he nods.

“yeah, i’d like that a lot. maybe next time we can actually go out to dinner or another proper date outing. i’m sorry that today was just coffee.” he says and i shake my head.

“that sounds great but, don’t sell yourself short. i had a really nice time today. besides, i know hockey players don’t always have free schedules but, i really like you so i’ll take whatever i can get. even if it’s just a twenty minute date eating mcdonald’s.” i tell him, shrugging my shoulders as i lean against my car.

“let’s hope it doesn’t come to that!” he jokes, and i let my giggle slip out freely. he shifts his weight back and forth on his feet as we stand in silence for a second, just smiling at each other, content with ourselves. “i better get going, my car is back at the café. but is it okay if i text you? or better yet, call you?”

“i’d love that. but, wait, your car is back there? why did you walk me all the way over here then?” i laugh. “we could’ve parted ways back there! now i feel bad that you walked past your car just to walk with me.”

“i just didn’t want this to end yet.” he shrugs. “i’d do it again if i had the choice.”

his words make me blush and i look down at my feet.

“you text me, or call me, or hell, i’m sure Nicole will gladly tell you where i live. just, don’t ghost me.” i halfheartedly joke. he smiles one last time and shakes his head, starting to walk backwards away from my car.

“oh trust me, you’ve got me hooked now. you’re not getting rid of me that easily.” he calls out to me and i bark out a laugh and slide into the drivers seat, closing the door behind me.

god, i hope not.