#I know I'm too obsessed with this possible

[everyonewooeverywhere]

Hard hours are open and I'm ready!!

Size training with yunho and how it takes a few times for you to adjust to his thick cock whilst he's fucking you.

He'd be so gentle and so fucking proud at the same time.

heyyyyy so i know this ask is over a month old....but i got really obsessed with it all of the sudden 😭

and this ended up a lot longer than i meant for it to...

but anyway-

size training and yunho just go together so well. it’s like a match made in heaven.

because he takes so much pride in it. pride in the training that is. (though he is also incredibly proud of how massive he is and how much prep it usually requires for someone to take him…🙂‍↕️)

and i just can’t help but feel like he’d enjoy size training as foreplay. like of course he wants to make sure you’re comfortable and safe, but FUCK if he doesn’t love how you beg for him to fuck you probably.

i get the feeling that he’d take at least a couple…sessions…before actually having you try to take his whole length. 

he’s a patient man. and you know how big he is. you can feel it every time you sit on his lap while you watch a movie. you’ve had your fair share of tired nights when you’ve jerked him off in his pants while he plays with you through your underwear. 

but when you first got together, he let you know immediately that you might not be able to take him. especially not right away. and you were so horny out of your mind about this man that you had begged him to at least try. your desire had almost brought you to tears. but he stood his ground. cupping your face and kissing your forehead telling you that “you just need a little training, baby” and promising “i won’t leave your pretty pussy empty for long”

that first night is so important to him. he wants you to understand that he can make you feel good even without his dick inside you. his hands will 100% do the trick. they do it for him, too, to be honest. watching his fingers disappear inside you is almost enough to make him cum in his pants. and watching how your eyelids flutter when he adds a third finger.

he’ll use toys too to build you up to it. whether they’re your own or his, he loves to watch you go a little crazy every time it gets bigger and he loves to hear your gasps every time. toys aren’t his favorite though because it’s less skin on skin contact. if he could, he’d just use his fingers, but he understands the importance of buildup.

when you both finally decide that you’re ready to try and take him, he makes sure everything is perfect. he makes sure the sheets are fresh, the room is cool, and that no one even has the possibility of disturbing the two of you for the foreseeable future. and he sets the expectation that it might not happen tonight. but you’re determined.

he always starts in missionary. it’s easier for him to control that way, and he finds that’s usually where his partner is usually the most comfortable the first time. maybe he’ll even put a pillow under your lower back and make sure you’re as comfortable as possible. and he absolutely has lube on standby if it’s needed. he’s a big hand holder too, so he’ll grab your hand against your stomach and caress your knuckles as he lines himself up with your entrance. “we’ll start with just the tip, ok baby?” 

and he’ll push into you ever so slightly. the stretch is still a lot to take, so he’s so fucking gentle, he’s constantly reminding you to “breathe, baby” and he makes sure to ask you every time if you’re ok to go further. and he lets you gasp out your “yes” before trying to fit in another inch. he keeps the reassurance coming even if he can’t help himself from crossing the line into condescending

“good girl, taking my cock so well” “oh you fit me so perfectly, angel” “do you feel good, baby?” “yeah?” “oh you can’t even think straight anymore can you?”

when he’s about half an inch from bottoming out, you grab his hand, squeezing hard, “yunho…” you choke out. “are you ok, angel? what’s wrong?” you shake your head “no i…fuck…i can’t…i’m so close” and he feels you tighten around him at the admission. “fuck ok. hold on baby.” he presses his body up against yours and brings his lips to your ear, “we’re almost there, ok? just hold out for a couple more seconds” all you can do is just whimper and nod as he pushes himself in the last few centimeters.

“oh fuckkk baby” he brings a hand to your clit “you’re gonna cum” mhmm you nod frantically, burying your nails in his back 

“you’re so big” you barely gasp out. “i know. i know, baby.” he kisses your cheeks and lips as he plays with your clit. “can you come for me? please? come on my cock?” that’s all it takes for your warm walls to tighten around him and he holds you to his chest while you come. 

and part of me all of me feels like, as long as you’re okay with it, that yunho would want cockwarming to be heavily involved in the early stages of his aftercare. like he’ll flip you over so you’re seated in his lap. and he’ll stay inside you while he kisses your neck and shoulders. and making sure you get plenty of vocal affirmation “you did so good for me baby” “i’m so proud of you, pretty” “my good girl, you did so well” eventually, when he notices your discomfort at the constant stretch, he’ll pull you off of him and clean you properly. but at least for a little while he wants you to have a…physical reminder…of how good you did.

[cannibalspicnic]

I've been wanting to organize my thoughts and theories about the trial, so I'm gonna try writing through them here. Honestly, one of my favorite things about this show so far is the endless potential for speculation so, here it goes....

I think the trial itself was mostly Santiago's idea, and it was the perfect power grab for him.

Lestat's presence at the trial, however, I think is pretty much entirely Armand's doing and the main reason Armand involved himself as deeply as he did.

Santiago didn't know Lestat, didn't seem to particularly appreciate Lestat's presence at the trial, and moreover, didn't need Lestat at the trial. As Claudia pointed out, it was never really a trial. It was a stoning. Execution was the foregone conclusion, and the trial was just a piece of theater. All he really needed were Claudia's diaries and maybe Sam's more poetic extrapolations. The "jury" had no idea what was happening anyway and were just doing call and response.

But Armand's got this whole love/hate obsession with Lestat, and I think the hate and resentment part of that obsession gives cause for Armand to want Lestat to be forced to witness in person the execution of his family. As far as the love part of the obsession, I think Armand hopes that once Lestat is left alone, he'll have no choice but to stay with Armand. Possibly there's a part of Armand that genuinely wants Lestat to see him as his avenger.

I do not believe Lestat was there willingly. I think, like in the books, he was imprisoned and starved to keep him weak, but he wasn't as completely incapacitated as he was in the books. Lestat agreed to read the lines and rehearse etc. because if he hadn't, they wouldn't have let him participate in the trial at all, and the trial was Lestat's only chance to even SEE Louis and Claudia, much less try to save either of them.

And once the trial starts, Lestat repeatedly tries to undermine it, but he's still walking a fine line because if he fucks with the coven too much, he might be removed and lose any chance he has to affect the outcome. I think we also might find out that he tried and failed a few other ways to save Louis AND Claudia.

Which brings me to the question of Lestat and Claudia. I do not believe Lestat ever wanted Claudia dead, though it's understandable to believe differently from what we've seen in the show so far. I do think we're going to find out that Lestat made one last ditch effort to save Claudia after Louis was dragged offstage, even if it was only to plead with Armand for her life. Armand's being the only version of that moment feels too juicy to not come back to it. That being said, it wouldn't surprise me to learn that Lestat prioritized saving Louis first, and that's one of the things that continues to haunt him after the trial about Claudia's death. Especially after all she says about it never being about her.

What I find really interesting is that when Louis is recounting the trial, he repeatedly insists that Lestat was there for revenge and that he believes Lestat helped orchestrate it. But in the flashbacks from Louis' memories, we also see Lestat is not having a good time and is somehow weakened, that something is not quite right with him.

It's one of my favorite examples of Louis reaching for the truth he knows is inside of him, inside his memories. That's why the revelation that Armand had directed the play and Lestat had saved him made such a huge impact. Those were the missing pieces of the puzzle, and they are what led him to recontextualize everything he already knew. Namely, if Lestat had saved him, he was never there for revenge. And his genuine contrition about the drop, his attempt to take some of the responsibility for Claudia's making, his unsteady and unhappy demeanor...they make sense because Louis realizes that Lestat was a prisoner during the trial, not Armand. I don't think Louis would have ever gone to find Lestat if he truly still believed that he organized Claudia's death or even agreed to it.

So back to Armand. I do actually think that Armand loved Louis. I've said before, when it comes to Armand, it's best to let go of reason and embrace the gremlin to understand his actions. I do think some of Armand's initial interest in Louis is specifically because he is Lestat's fledgling, but he did come to love Louis himself. And I think Louis came to love him. I know this is not a popular opinion, but hear me out.

First of all, I think Armand never let go of the idea that he was going to have to kill Louis. I think he always kinda saw his time with Louis as delaying the inevitable. But he did want Louis for himself, and so he kept buying more and more time. So when the coven confronted Armand, it didn't even feel to him like he was betraying Louis, so much as he'd run out of time to keep Louis alive. I think in Armand's mind, he genuinely didn't feel like he could prevent it.

As far as how Louis feels about Armand. I know I've seen people mention that the reason he can tell Armand, "I love you," is that he doesn't mean it. And I agree. I do not think Louis loves Armand during the events of "I Want You More Than Anything in the World." But season 2 takes place over several years, and I think Louis was able to find love for Armand.

However, because I love it when things are really fucked up, I think Louis only really started to let himself feel love for Armand after Armand left the coven for him after Louis turned Madeleine. Which is unfortunate because Armand was obviously lying his ass off about that.

But when we see them at the café, and Madeleine says she can feel Louis' love for Armand, we see a different reaction from Louis than in 2x04. He is more uncomfortable with the idea of it. I don't believe that Madeleine was misreading Louis or actually feeling his love for Lestat. I think Louis is uncomfortable because it is true.

I also think it's the first time Armand actually believes that Louis loves him. And because of that, I think that moment just before the coven descends on the café is the first time he even realizes that he had a choice in all of it. That he could have tried to save Louis.

If I'm right, UGH, so fucked up. I hope I'm right.

Anyway, I've rambled so fucking much. I don't even have a tl;dr because even *I* don't wanna have to read all that to summarize it properly. And I probably forgot some stuff, but let's all just be grateful for that.

Just to reiterate, this is all speculation. I could be very wrong, and I know there's stuff the cast has said that might indicate that I am, but I take stuff like that with a grain of salt, especially in this show.

[m-jelly]

could I just get a Levi x fem reader of him pretty much just simping for the reader, having a huge crush on her. While Hange is shipping them so hard and tries to get Levi to admit he has feelings for the reader.

Crushes and courage.

Levi x fem reader

Small town, Sheriff Levi, confessions.

Sheriff Levi has a massive crush on the local florist and one of his deputies notices.

Hange walked into Levi's office and noticed two flower vases. The sheriff didn't care much for flowers, but a beautiful and cute florist moved to town and opened a store. Now the sheriff couldn't get enough of them, it was fascinating to watch.

Hange had known Levi for a long time and she knew very well he barely showed interest in dating, hell he'd never really dated much. She was aware of at least two past girlfriends, but they didn't last too long both ladies did say Levi was an incredible lover it just didn't seem like he was deeply in love with them. It seemed like Levi had been with them to be nice.

So, seeing how Levi was with you it interested Hange greatly because he almost seemed obsessed with you. After watching him for a bit she was convinced her grumpy friend had a massive crush on the cute florist. This crush was probably going to lead Levi to experience the greatest love in his life. You were his soulmate. You two were meant to grow old together. So, she was sure as shit that she would do everything in her power to get you together.

"Sheriff?"

Levi looked up from his desk. "Mm?"

Hange smiled at him. "Cute flowers."

"Thanks." He gazed at them and smiled fondly. "Very cute."

"Why haven't you asked her out?"

Levi went bright red. He fumbled with his pen and cleared his throat. "Tch, wh-what are you talking about?"

She slammed her hands on his desk and said your name. "You like her. You have a crush on her. I know it!"

He gulped hard. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, so you just suddenly got into flowers, huh!?"

He looked around him. "Well."

She pointed at him. "Cut the bullshit." She released a long sigh. "You have never had a crush on anyone before, so your feelings for her are very serious." She sat down and huffed. "I'm not here to take the piss or tease you. I want you two to end up together." She smiled. "I'm here to help."

"I..." He looked down at his papers. "I need to work."

"If you sit with your thumb up your ass some other man is going to come in and take her."

Levi flinched and stiffened up. "What?" His voice was deep and the look in his eyes became dark.

She smirked knowing she'd found the right jab to get him interested. "Well, she's a very beautiful woman and there are a few single young men in town."

"No!" He shot to his feet. "That's not possible. She can't..." He whined a little. "Are there really other men interested in her?"

"Yes, so get your ass to her shop and ask her out now."

Levi grabbed some of his things and rushed out the door. "I'm going!"

She followed him for a bit. "Good luck!"

He raced across the town until he got to your shop. He shoved your door open making the bell jingle. A blush consumed your cheeks when you smiled at him and said your usual welcome. His heart raced in his chest and he knew. He wanted you.

You placed down a pot and smiled. "Welcome Levi."

"I like you! Date me!"

You stared at Levi in pure shock. He looked adorable to you with his strong blush and determined look in his eyes. "You...you like me?"

He walked closer to you. "I...I do...I umm..." He took his hat off and hummed. "I've had feelings for you since you arrived here." He gripped his hat tightly as he lowered his head. "I ah." He took in a deep breath before looking you in the eyes. "I w-would like to g-go on a date with you. Th-that's if you want to?"

You walked up to him and caressed his cheek. "You are so cute." You leaned closer and kissed his cheek. "I would love to go on a date with you."

His eyes lit up at your words. "Really?"

You hummed a laugh. "Really. To be honest, I didn't think you liked me that way. I have a big crush on you and have had one for a while. You're just so handsome and strong. It makes me so happy you feel the same way."

Levi smiled at you. "Could I take you somewhere for lunch, is that okay?"

You nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that. I'm looking forward to it."

Levi leaned closer and kissed you making you flinch at the suddenness of it. "A-Ah, I uh..."

You giggled at how adorable he was. You grabbed his tie and pulled him closer. "How about we try that again, hmm?"

He purred when your lips met his. He sighed through his nose as he wrapped his arms around you and held you. "Mm." It was better than you both had imagined.

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a

@youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity

@nbinairyn @bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @emilyyyy-08

@levistealeaf @pelicanpizza @hideandgopeep @notgoodforlife

@demonic-bird @searriously @anti-cupid

[yanderes-galore]

for rq period: yandere tmnt03 donnie concept?

I'll try my best! He isn't as fleshed out as the others in 2003... So I'll try my best ^^; Sorry if it's vague, I'm more well-versed in 2012 and Rise.

Yandere! 2003! Donatello Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Controlling behavior, Stalking, Tracking, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Cameras, Picture taking, Delusional behavior, Isolation, Drugging, Forced relationship.

Donatello is one who puts those around him before himself.

He often neglects his own needs at times just so he can care for his loved ones.

He's the smartest of the four turtles, a clever inventor and tactician.

He values education and science more than his actual ninjutsu studies at times.

He's a pacifist and isn't as physically resilient as his brothers from what I've seen.

Yet he's still a decent fighter with his quick wit and planning.

He always comes prepared, always tries to think things through...

Similar to his other iterations, he would try to plan things out in his obsession.

Things need to be perfect to make a plan work for him.

Donatello is often gentle and calm, never wanting to cause unnecessary harm.

He rarely loses his temper and I imagine this version of Donnie isn't all that... confrontational.

Not many of them are, but still....

The only time this turtle is ever violent or aggressive is when he's mutated into a large monster.

That's it.

For the most part... You being his obsession isn't that bad.

As long as you're okay with mutant turtles.

He honestly just seems like he'd be such a respectable sweetheart to you as his obsession.

Although he does seem to know... too much?

As expected, Donatello would research his obsession like they're his newest project.

As sweet as he is, he's keeping track of everything you do.

He's not possessive since he's usually against confrontation.

However... He is obsessive and protective.

Donatello knows all sorts of things about you.

He knows more than any of your closest friends, in fact, at some point he'll know more than your own family...

Or even yourself.

Donatello soaks in information like a sponge.

The moment he learns something new about you, he's noting that down like his life depends on it.

Now... Donatello would have all sorts of information about you.

He has a notebook or two dedicated to you.

He just lacks the courage and confidence to actually do anything with said info other than stutter and stare.

Donatello is socially awkward.

He's caring and attentive towards you and your well-being...

Yet struggles on how to express his overwhelming feelings towards you.

It's not like he can tell you about his notebooks...

Or why he knows all of this info....

While you're unaware, Donatello gets to work with scraping up any sort of info he can find on you.

He stalks you everywhere.

He puts trackers on your clothes, belongings, car...

This turtle has your entire routine memorized.

Donatello has to be careful when speaking with you as his obsession continues.

He may accidentally say something he shouldn't know...

Only to make you both awkwardly stare at one another before trying to change the conversation.

Donatello tries so hard to impress you.

He gets into all the things you like, he builds new inventions and gadgets just for you to look at them.

Just a warning, if you take a phone from him, you are definitely being tracked now.

Donatello just seems so socially awkward and relaxed when you speak to him.

You have no clue how unhinged he is behind the scenes.

Donatello stays up late at night to track you, research you, watch you...

But you're oblivious.

You just see him tired and think he's overworking himself again.

Being cared for by you just adds to his obsession.

Donatello no doubt sets up cameras in spots you frequent and is always recording for himself.

That and he has secret photos he took of you at night, keeping them tucked away in his room.

Donatello is infatuated with you.

It's quite obvious to him... The notebooks, footage, pictures, tracking...

His habit of leaving home to follow you....

Donatello knows he doesn't deserve you.

Why would you?

He's a mutant turtle, you're a human.

You may not view him as a monster... yet you certainly wouldn't date him.

That breaks his heart...

But part of him still wishes to believe you can.

He can't stop thinking about such a fantasy, actually...

He dreams of it... dreams of you...!

He imagines protecting you, dating you, your praise, hugs, kisses...

He just imagines what it would be like to love you.

Such a thought nearly drives him insane.

While he is normally calm and able to control himself...

Imagine if he snaps and just decides to take you away.

In his delusional mind, Donatello thinks you'll understand.

In reality you won't... You don't understand his twisted mind.

Donatello is desperate for your love.

Desperate to the point he slips something in your food or drink... just to catch you when you fall into his arms unconscious...

Then he locks you somewhere no one will look... surrounded by pictures he took and cameras watching your every move...

With ropes around your body as you lay on a makeshift bed.

It may not be much now...

But he's planned out everything!

Your new relationship (which he just forced upon you) will begin just as he's dreamed it!

Except... Donatello needs you on your best behavior first...

He knows you may be nervous about your first date together... yet he'll try to compensate!

Your first date is tied up in a sewer surrounded by pictures of you that you didn't know existed.

He's so delusional when he has you.

He doesn't understand why you're so scared.

It's just him!

You know him, right? (You thought you did.)

He's your best friend! Soon to be boyfriend, actually!

He can't wait to start.

He can't wait to hold you, touch you, kiss you, love you...

But he must be patient!

He'll take things slow for you...

You may be nervous and scared now... But don't worry...!

You'll warm up to him eventually... Then he can continue to make things perfect between you! Just like in his fantasies!

[davey-in-a-minivan]

Isabel Lovelace My Absolute Beloved

Lovelace is one of my favorite examples of one of my favorite kinds of characters, which is: woman who the world is trying so hard to kill and emerges beat up and spitting out teeth and still going.

(Relatedly, Eva Olivia Moreno is one of the few White Vault characters I really loved and it's on the strength of the joy I felt when i realized that not only had Eva NOT died when a rockslide separated her from the team, but instead dragged herself three days over the mountains, alone, covered in mud and blood and bruises, WITH ALL THE TEAM'S DATA DRIVES, to let the world know what was going on and demand rescue for the others. LOVE HER. Alessandra "Cockroach" Strong of the Penumbra Podcast ALSO falls into this category and I would've loved to see more of her)

Interestingly, I think Lovelace plays a similar role in-universe for Eiffel and Minkowski, in that they first encounter her as a 'character' in old audio logs whose survival they are rooting for at a remove -- when Eiffel and Minkowski listen to her logs but it's unclear whether she made it off the station, Eiffel shushes Minkowski's skepticism and says "let me have my badass space commando chick!!" In the absence of conclusive evidence he clings to the idea that she survived, for what i suspect are two reasons: (1) it means it's possible to survive and gives him and Minkowski a sliver of hope, and (2) it's not fair for her to die after trying so hard to save herself and her crew, and if she survived he can believe that there's some fairness in the universe.

After Kepler shoots Lovelace, Minkowski tells an imagined Lovelace how badly she wanted to get Lovelace home because she wanted to believe that she could go home, which feels like an echo of Eiffel's earlier sentiment--obviously by now Minkowski knows and cares about Lovelace as a person, but she's also a symbol of the ultimate survivor, who will do whatever it takes to get home. If Lovelace, who fought harder and longer, with more skill and fewer limits than Minkowski finds herself capable of, and still didn't survive, what chance is there for Minkowski and her crew?

WHICH MAKES IT SO FUCKING SATISFYING WHEN LOVELACE LIVES AGAIN.

I need you all to know--Lovelace was "dead" for, what, an episode??--in that time my then-roommate and I put up a SHRINE to her memory. She was too cool and tragic and extreme and funny and hot to die!!!

I'm very glad the universe and Gabriel Urbina agreed.

It's not only satisfying because I'm obsessed with her and wanted her back (which I admit freely). It's a riveting development in the story of the unkillable Captain Lovelace where we finally see that she CAN'T be killed because she's already dead. Functionally she's a ghost in the story, haunting the Hephaestus until she finishes her unfinished business, and there's a delightful sheen of destiny to her arc where I was like oh fuck they've already done their worst to her and she's still going. She's going to win this. I don't know what it'll cost her, this could still be a tragedy, but she's GOING to succeed.

What does this mean for the rest of the original crew looking to her as a symbol? Eiffel, Minkowski and Hera do survive, like Lovelace. It is possible. But it costs them a lot. Weeks after Lovelace dies, resurrects, and has the day-ruining revelation that she's actually the alien clone of the dead woman she thought she was haha, she talks about the discomforting effort she makes to be the real Lovelace, not the person that Goddard turned her into. I think once they return to Earth the rest of the crew will struggle in similar ways. Minkowski need to believe that Lovelace could come home, and she did. But none of them could be the same as they were before.

Now, obviously the extremes Lovelace had to go to in pursuit of survival and justice were difficult and upsetting for her. But they were also hot!! SO let's wrap this up with some of the most iconic Lovelace moments according to me:

1. The "run and hide" monologue Eiffel and Minkowski find - HOT. sorry i know this comes on the heels of her describing the harrowing tragedy of her crew members' deaths but like

that's hot!!! go girl, kill em all!!!

2. THE DEAD MAN'S SWITCH. she said im going big AND going home, through the power of insane resourcefulness and this nuclear bomb i made

3. "variations on a theme" is suuuch a good minisode

4. disabling the airlock during the clone jacobi situation without telling anyone

5. NAPALM

6a. broadly, the hostage situation during the coup, where she goads kepler into focusing on her instead of eiffel

6b. SPECIFICALLY the part of the hostage situation where she gets the show's one "fuck"

7. alien possession lovelace!!!! i know it wasn't quite her melting kepler's hand off but god it's a fun scene

8. time loop lovelace. i love a good time loop and the contrast between her yelling and goading and shooting things in the last argument but also being, like, pretty chill and pragmatic about it--this is just her method of causing enough trouble to break the loop--is fun

9. hera's and her intersecting journeys re: what it means to be a person

10. distracting cutter so minkowski can stab him with the harpoon!!!!!!

in conclusion: WHAT A CHARACTER

[citrus-writing]

noncon pussy eating phantom troupe ( + Hisoka if its possible) headcanons pls🫦

Thank you so much for asking! i'm so surprised so many people were interested in this!

----------------

yanderes who eat their darling out for their own pleasure, they cant get enough of their beloved darling, want to taste you all the time- 

Chrollo- 

Chrollo is obsessed with you, and of course, the faces and sounds you make for him when he kneels between your legs are no exception. He’s devoted to the task, almost worshiping you with his tongue and lips, determined to hear every little sound he can pull from your lips.

For a long while in your captivity in his home, he fantasizes about how you must taste, what faces you’d make, the little noises he’s so sure you’d make- but he leaves it a fantasy, because he doesn't want to scare you away. You’re inching closer to him with time, and he’s sure that if you knew the kind of things he was thinking you’d shrink away from him again, and he can't let that happen. But lately, you’ve been so tempting- wearing the little dresses he picks for you, short enough he can see the underwear he’d picked for you as well if you bent over even slightly. Everything about you makes him crazy, nearly desperate for a taste of what’s between your legs- what he’s sure is the most perfect pussy, made for him, just for him. 

So don't be surprised when he tells you to lie back on the bed and spread your legs- of course he’d taken the evening to soothe you into it. Your favorite food for dinner, your favorite movie on the tv, his arms around you all the while. His lips on yours- till your breathing heavy- his hands moving over your clothes to squeeze and toy with your chest. But it’s not nearly enough.

The look in his eyes tells you that there’s no getting out of this one, so you nervously lie back like he asked. “My love, what did I just ask from you?” he asks, nodding at your closed thighs. You struggle to fight the shame and embarrassment as you open your legs for him. 

He’s so romantic about it, taking his time to kiss and bite up your thighs, hands holding your hips still for him. He pulls your panties off slowly, making you whine in shame, but he’s convinced himself that you’re just as eager as he is. “Good girl.” 

Uvogin-  

Uvogin wastes no time at all in taking what he wants from you, and this is no exception. He’s imagined it so many times, has worked his fantasy over and over in his mind. He lays back on the bed, pulling you over him and manhandling you into the position he wants you in- kneeling over his face, wet folds hovering inches from his mouth. 

“Go ahead, baby, sit on down.” he encourages. His big hands are squeezing at your ass, your thighs, like he’s desperate to just feel you. You hesitate, looking for a way out of this, but of course once he’s made up his mind about something you know there’s no changing his mind. He looks up at you expectantly, “don't make me repeat myself,” and he says it with humor but it sends terror through you. You take a shaky breath and allow yourself to ease down, but it must be too slow for his liking because he grabs you by the hips to force your body down. 

The feeling of his tongue against your folds has you jolting from the shock, and maybe pleasure, but you don't want to admit that to yourself. It’s impossible to ignore how skilled he is with his tongue, something you’ve noticed when he’d kiss you, but something that is uncomfortably obvious right now, with you sat above him like this. He groans against you, the vibrations of his deep voice making you gasp, making you let out a tiny little noise of pleasure. He seems to like the sound, because he grows more eager- pushing his tongue inside you, lapping into you with a kind of hunger you hadn't expected. 

Illumi- 

Illumi isn't sure what about you has him so enamored- your smile? Your laugh? They way your eyes light up when you talk about something you love? He wouldn't be able to answer that if he was asked. But he knows what’s holding his attention right now. He can't pull his eyes away from your sleeping form next to him in the bed, blankets tossed off you and nightgown ridden up to reveal the underwear you're wearing. He’s seen you in less, of course, but something about this is different- you're unaware, completely at ease, all spread out for him to touch. 

He trails a hand down the contour of your waist, fingertips ghosting along the curve of your hip bone, letting himself touch the lace you're wearing. You dont wake up, only moving slightly when he first places his hand on your skin, but you remain peacefully asleep. 

He traces up and down the fabric with his index and middle fingers, teasing you and feeling your underwear grow damp at the sensation. You’re perfect- he tells you so all the time- but you’re absolutely perfect. He lets him dip under the waistline of your underwear, training his fingers down to gather up the slick gathering between your legs. 

You're starting to stir, moving a bit more, mumbling something incoherent. “Darling, go back to sleep.” he soothes. You mumble again, “illumi?” It seems sleep hasn't let go of you just yet, not really awake to realize your situation. When he brushes against your clit, you’re forced awake all at once with a desperate yelp. “Shh, you’re alright. I just want a taste of you.” 

Yanderes who eat out their darling in some kind of deranged attempt to make their darling feel good, to make their darling want them, beg for them- 

Nobunaga- 

Nobunaga is a delusional type of yandere, one who can convince himself that you want him the way he wants you. And he wants you all the time, anyway he can have you.whether it’s pining you down to the bed, forcing you to your knees in front of him, or spreading your legs to touch and taste your most sensitive places, he’s not going to take ‘no’ for an answer.  

Even when you struggle and shake, begging him not to, he just smiles at you with this soft look that makes you sick- he doesn't believe you. And how could he believe you don't want him when his fingers already have you so wet, dripping down his hands and down your thighs. He knows you want him as badly as he wants you, you must, by the way you whimper for him. Maybe someday you’ll be able to admit how badly you need him, but for tonight he won't force you to admit it. “You’re so good for me, aren't you?” he soothes, even as you continue to tremble. 

He pulls your legs further apart and settles his face between them, kissing at your thighs, licking at the slick gathered there. Licking up up up, towards his real prize. You’re all he wants, to touch you, taste you, feel you tremble when you cum from his tongue deep inside you. “I can't wait to taste you.” and, as if to prove his point, he drags the tip of his tongue across your entrance, not quite allowing himself to dip inside. No, he’s going to take his time with you. 

Hisoka- 

He’s always used you however he saw fit, taking anything he desired from you, because you were helpless to whatever he’d do to you. Most nights, that means carrying you to his bedroom- or the nearest surface, if he couldn't wait that long- before pinning you down and having his way with you. Hisoka is never a gentle lover, not even when he taunts you about how much worse he could be, but he does care for your pleasure- even if it’s only for his own satisfaction. 

That’s how you found yourself here, with your legs thrown over his shoulders, his hands keeping your hips still as you tried to fight and thrash. Of all the things he’s done to you, none have been so personal, so vulnerable. 

You want to be quiet so badly, but the way his tongue delves into you makes it difficult, even more so when he moans against you, sending vibrations up your body. It forces a little sound from you- a desperate little cry of pleasure, and no matter how much you don't want to believe it, it’s because it feels good. You don't want to be here- in his arms, in his bed, in his home- but the feeling of his hot mouth on you is so good you feel yourself getting almost lost in it. The sounds you made seem to excite him, and that thought makes you almost sick. He pulls away from you for a moment, looking up into your eyes, “are you enjoying yourself?” he’s taunting you, you know that. Before you can answer, he uses two fingers to spread you open, making you squirm. “Dont lie, darling, i want to hear how good it feels.” 

Phinks- 

Of course you’re scared, he knows that- you’ve made it very apparent, much to his annoyance. But it takes everything in him not to just take what he wants from you. And he could- that’s the thing, he knows he could do anything to you. It’s maddening, trying to coax you into trusting him, into coming nearer to him, into loving him. He promised himself he’d wait, and to be fair, he’s half honest about that. He won't take everything he needs from you, he just needs a taste, that’ll be more than enough. 

You’ve struggled your hardest, twisting around in his grasp for what felt like eternity, and now you’ve worn yourself out. It’d be pitiful if you didn't look so good under him, already out of breath, and finally- finally- plaint under him. He wastes only a second or two looking at your face before his hands move to remove your clothes. It’s agony not to fuck you, it’s all he really wants to do, but he reminds himself that he’d promised himself he’d settle for just the sight of your body and the taste of you. 

You're tense at first, when he pulls down your underwear and leans forward, bringing his face closer to you. You dont beg him not to, and he takes that as some kind of consent, though he’s not quite delusional enough to believe that. He feels you relax as he kisses your thigh, taking a moment to say “that’s right, just relax. I’ve got you.” before finally indulging in you the way he’s wanted to. He hears your breath hitch a little when he kisses just over where you want him. Your hands grip at the sheets, and he can hardly hold back enough to mumble, “I've waited so long for this.” 

Yanderes who eat out their darling as a form of punishment, making you beg and cry as they force you over the edge over and over- 

Feitan- 

Feitan has trouble expressing his feelings and desires for you in a way you can understand, and this is no different. How could he possibly explain to you the way you make him feel? How he has to fight off blushing when you’re close to him, how just the sound of your voice has his heartbeat racing, how just the sight of you in the outfit he picked for you has all the blood in his body racing south. It’s embarrassing- humiliating- and he won't stand for it. So when he sees you bend over in the little skirt, he has to do something about it. 

You yelp as he grabs you, his hand closing around your wrist as he spins you around and slams yur back into the wall. Your head hurts where it hit the plaster, and your wrist hurts where he’s still crushing it in his hand. “You did that on purpose.” he accuses. You don't even know what you did. “Don't move.” he demands, letting go of your wrist to drop to his knees. The action alone is so unlike feitan, it’s unlike him to touch you, and it’s unlike him to kneel in front of you like this. There’s something wrong. 

He reaches up under your skirt to pull your underwear down- he’d gotten a good view of them earlier, but it’s different when he’s taking them off you. Feitan pulls them off you, watching the way you shake slightly, but you don't move- exactly like he asked. 

He’s careful with you, methodical in a way that’s unsettling and foreign. You whimper when he brings his fingers to your folds, as if testing the wetness. He glances up at you, eyes not betraying any emotion. He traces his finger along your entrance, not quite letting his fingers dip inside. You try to keep quiet, try to stay still, but it’s so difficult when you can feel yourself getting wetter as he works at you. “Good.” he appraised.

He’s just as methodical and slow with his tongue when he angles his head to lap at your cunt, his lips sealed against you as he works his tongue into you. If he can make you cum like this, maybe he’ll consider forgiving you for your little stunt earlier. If not, he’ll eat you over and over again until you beg him to stop.

Shalnark- 

He looks up at you from between your legs, eyes shining as he carefully and skillfully swirls his tongue over your clit. Your whole body is trembling from the pleasure he’s giving you, the way he so deftly and methodically takes you apart. Shalnark knows he’s making you feel good, he can feel it in the way you clench around his fingers, the way your slick drips down his hand, the way that you taste so so good. 

He lets out a soft little laugh, his hot breath making you whine, and he pulls his mouth from you. You whimper at the loss, mind too foggy to really think of how you shouldn't want this. But he’s making you feel so good, and you can't deny yourself this- anything he’s willing to give you. 

“You want to cum?” he asks, voice obviously amused. You nod. He twists his wrist just so, making you gasp and arch up against him. “I don't know, you’re not acting like you do.” he taunts. Of course he’d take a moment like this to tease you- shalnark would never miss the opportunity to toy with you. “Maybe if you beg me, I'll consider letting you.” 

-----------------

[utilitycaster]

Given this campaign’s ups and downs and the current slate of CR programming, I’m curious what your outlook is on CR’s overall creative direction, especially going into a big anniversary? I mainly ask because you don’t seem to get bogged down in weird conspiracy theories about CR as a company nor do you act like CR producing other side projects is the root of campaign 3’s issues (like many disgruntled fans seem to - mostly reddit bros obsessed with viewership proving their points). You also seem to know your shit when it comes to creative direction in TTRPG content and have well founded critiques and complaints. 

I personally think a lot of what they've been doing is interesting, but I do sometimes wonder if I’m just prone to wanting to like what CR does because I'm a fan and want them to do well.

Hi anon!

First, thank you so much. I do not in fact know my shit re: creative direction and while I don't want to put them on the spot, several of my mutuals DO have considerably more knowledge of creative direction and production considerations than I do. They are just also better at keeping quiet and hedging their bets than I am. Anything I say that is correct re creative direction comes from a combination of avid reader who likes to analyze fiction/project management experience/common sense.

Honestly? I don't know if they'll do a campaign after this one (and it's possible they'll wrap up C3 before the 10th anniversary) but I think that the reason C3 is like this is because of the demands of a campaign that incorporates EXU Prime and past campaigns and the moon plot. I think Matt needed to run this the way Brennan runs D20 seasons and the cast was also expecting a campaign with the more open plotting of C1 or C2, and no one realized this until pretty far into the campaign. It is not too late to stick the landing of a messy campaign, though it's also not too late to totally fuck it up; but I think (and, to be fair, hope, because I'm also a fan and want them to do well) that the issues of Campaign 3 are contained within Campaign 3.

Part of why I think that is because the "side projects" have for the most part been successful! TLOVM looks great as does what little we've seen of the animated Nein series, the Daggerheart one-shots have been fun, I've loved Candela Obscura, Calamity and Downfall have been incredible, and while they're a lot more hands off with Midst what the cast has been involved with has been stellar. I do not think they are creatively tapped or exhausted and indeed had any of the above not been as strong I'd probably be easier on C3 since I would think it was a case of overextension. But as for C3, I think they just underprepped for a campaign that needed much more prep and awkwardly got stuck in it.

If they wrap up C3 a few months before the 10th anniversary and plan to do a fourth campaign, I'd say that would be a great time to announce it (though I'd recommend taking at least 3 months off if not more, as they have in the past). If it's still going or has just wrapped up, or if they don't plan to do a C4, I'd use that to announce an EXU or maybe some Nein show news and save that announcement for later.

[ananke-xiii]

usual disclaimer: this is just me thinking out loud, sort of, some of this stuff is probably incoherent or even incorrect, I'm just playing around with my obsessions lol, take it with a grain of salt.

Previously I've written that it's possible that Dean has inadvertently caused John to grow up without his father, Henry. Today I even dare to write that Castiel has accidentally ("accidentally" because he didn't know he was used as a pawn back then) caused "Mary's choice" by creating a causal loop where he sends Dean "back" in time causing the events to unfold as they did precisely because Dean was there.

In the episode "In the beginning" Cas sends Dean to the 70s saying he needs to stop "it" and that time is fluid and angels can bend it on occasion even if it's not simple. Then we have this dialogue:

Dean: Alright, if I do this, then the family curse breaks, right? Mom and Dad live happily ever after, and – and, Sam and I grow up playing little league and chasing tail? Castiel: You realize, if you do alter the future, your father, you, Sam – you'll never become hunters. And all those people you saved, they'll die. Dean: I realize. Castiel: And you don't care? Dean: Oh, I care. I care a lot, but these are my parents. I'm not gonna let them die again. I can't. No, not if I can stop it.

There are too many "ifs" in this dialogue. So can the future be altered or not? Is time fluid and can be bent or not? It seems the answer to these questions is yes but let's see what happens next.

Castiel has Dean under the impression that if he manages to stop "it", the family curse breaks and Dean very much wants it to be broken even at the expense of the people that he has saved. But the more Dean tries to stop "it", the more he makes it happen. He goes to that farm to kill the demon and Mary follows him there. She was not on Azazel's radar because we hear him say this:

"Where the hell have they been hiding you?"

And I wonder who this "they" is.

Then, after all the drama, Cas goes to Dean and tells him not to feel bad because he couldn't have stopped it and he just wanted Dean to see the truth. This is when he says this:

"Destiny can't be changed, Dean. All roads lead to the same destination."

And that now Dean knows everything that "we" (the angels, according to Castiel) know.

Therefore, the answer to those questions and to all those "ifs" is a big fat no, right? Right?! The future cannot be altered and time is not fluid, well, that is, humans cannot alter the future and for humans time is not fluid. The angels spend a considerable amount of power to make humans believe so and I wonder why if all they, the angels, want is The End of Time, therefore they don't care about the future because they know (or they think they do) that time will inevitably end. Maybe they are not so sure after all. It seems to me that for creatures who are able to bend time and move through dimensions, angels ridiculously depend on humans' notion of time. Which, in turn, make them very powerless.

The episode ends with this dialogue which is insane to me:

Castiel: We know what Azazel did to your brother. What we don't know is why – what his endgame is. He went to great lengths to cover that up. Dean: Where's Sam? Castiel: 425 Waterman. You brother is headed down a dangerous road, Dean, and we're not sure where it leads. So stop it. Or we will.

There's something that doesn't add up AT ALL, or am I crazy? If destiny can't be changed and Dean couldn't stop it from happening and all roads lead to the same destination then why does Dean need to go to the destination of 425 Waterman to stop his brother from doing something that supposedly nobody (actually "we" who are, again, the angels according to Castiel before he knew the truth) really knows where it might lead while it was established that Dean can't stop jack shit and, on the contrary, the more he does, the more he's dooming himself and his family in the process? (okay that was a veeeery long question, you can breathe now).

Is it "destiny" that can't be changed or is it the past? 'Cause they either are the same thing or they're not. If destiny is the past then the question of free will changes significantly because time for the angels is fluid and they can bend it on occasion but it's not fluid for humans. If destiny=past and it can't be changed then all humans are left with is the capacity to accept it as it is, it's the only way to break "the curse".

If destiny and past are not the same thing, then why Dean couldn't change the past? If destiny is destiny and the past is the past, it shouldn't matter if the past is changed or not, should it? Because eventually destiny can't be changed and all roads lead to the same destination. And since this "destiny" can't be changed and Dean indeed didn't alter the future it therefore means that it was exactly what Dean did that helped cause the events in the past. What would have happened if Castiel hadn't made Dean think that he could have broken the family curse? If all Dean did in the 70s was walking around enjoying the view? Would the events still unfold as they did or not? Would it have been necessary for Michael himself to sweep in and "save the day" like he had to in "The Song Remains the Same"?

If this is the case, if Castiel acted as a sort of "agent of fate", then no wonder it's Castiel who must tear up the script by showing up in the story unannounced because he was the primary instrument that caused the story to happen in the first place. He cannot break the causal cycle because he is the cause. By showing up to Chuck's house and start making it up as he goes the loop is left to itself and will forever be happening while, in the "future", he helps events deviate from their supposed "destination". In this light, then, what Chuck says in s15 might be true, there might be other timelines where Cas does what he's told, i.e. keeping the timeline intact but it's not happening in "our" (the one we the audience see) timeline because it's a new branch that he himself has created to break from the impossibility of changing the "destiny", whatever it means, of that specific timeline.

I'm not sure if I'm making any sense but, like, time travels in SPN are insanely fun because they don't follow any consistency at all and are therefore interesting if you like to follow the thread and see what they might have gone if thoroughly explored.

[firerose]

Ezran waking up from a thunderstorm and yelling Callums name is a really different scene if you think about the Callum possesion arc...........

[charon-cries]

when OTHER people try to distract or comfort themselves, they call it "coping" and "self-soothing," but when i do it, it's a "mental compulsion" and "you have OCD"

[tacogoats]

Unwell about the idea of Orin using Durge's face to keep the charade going of the Durge still being around, so Gortash doesn't get suspicious.

He does anyway because she didn't understand how real their relationship was - and she slips up. Often. He knew immediately when the Dark Urge became so, so very cold. Nothing like the warmth he has known for years now behind closed doors; because it isn't them.

She is good at fine details of the body; she gets every scar, every little blemish perfectly, but she can never truly imitate the person behind the Urge.

She couldn't have hoped to anyway, because she didn't know who they really were. Only Gortash could, because he is the first to ask.

It surprises her, and infuriates her, even! The mighty Dark Urge, debased into some lovesick puppy yearning after this little Lordling!

And the mistakes that follow are how Gortash learns the Dark Urge is gone.

[ratcandy]

(spoilers for the new update btw; this is tagged as spoilers too but just to be safe) By the way, headcanon-wise, I don't think the parasite is out of Sozo's system that easily.

like. I understand to some extent imprisoning him is forcefully sobering him up by denying him further intoxication, which would be one thing, but this is not Just Drugs . this is Drug Parasite. That is a thang inside him that is alive

At least this is assuming that he is indeed based off of an ant with cordyceps. Which I figure is most likely But even if OTHERWISE, I emphasize:

we revived him. by planting the mushroom

Mans was resurrected . Not through our usual means. But through the mushroom. There is no way, if it is the literal Thing that brings him back to life, that he is separated from the parasite by just popping off the outward manifestation of it on his head .

Surely planting the parasite would only bring IT back. But it brings him with it when it is revived, because not only is he its host, he's the best damn host its had. Considering just how he goes to fucking town on those mushrooms (or the mushroomos)

I mean we could argue that re-education while in prison is a literal cleansing process somehow, but For Me. Personally. As someone who feeds too much on angst. I keep imagining a scene wherein Dr. Sozonius is just sprouting a new mushroom again (if not various across his exoskeleton) and just .freaking out. Because while he doesn't remember any of what he was like or what he did during that time, he knows that it fucked him UP because why WOULD IT NOT fuck him up .

he lost his family. his home. he has no idea where he is. he woke up in some strange place feeling like he was gonna vomit. because he was so full of mushrooms why wouldn't he.

but there's something still there. there's something depending on him to the point that HE depends on IT

and just gradually... as the mushroom(s) sprouts again... he starts slipping into his old mannerisms......... he starts craving..... and he knows he Should Not. he knows he's so old now it would just kill him (not knowing it already killed him once). surely he wouldn't handle it again.

but it's so . tempting. the mushrooms. he needs them. he can hear it. them. whispering. to him.

something internally. pulling

towards

the

[pa-pa-plasma]

you just made the scientific discovery of the century & you want to tell everyone & your kids are first on that list but you can't find them. you manage to get a hold of your daughter & she says everything is fine but her voice gets tight when you try to mention your work & she sucks in a breath & says she won't keep you from it any longer than she already has & doesn't say bye as she hangs up the phone. you have a sinking feeling in your gut & you really want to get back to what you were doing but. something's wrong. where are your kids. why was your daughter not surprised when you told her. why was she so quick to hang up on you. your husband has the same type of mind & that's probably why neither of you can ignore this odd turn of events & so you decide to track them down. the research can wait. after all, the spook got away somehow afterwards. it's not like you have anything to go through but data & recordings.

[anxiouspotatorants]

I'm a little conflicted about how they reintroduced Theo to the show because on the one hand yay tradition (episode 7 is always Theo-heavy) and I kind of love that they have gotten so close over the span of a year.

But on the other hand that angst/slow burn loving little shit in me wanted to see the journey. I want to know how they got to this point. To Mabel not being half bad (though still far from fluent) in ASL. To Theo naturally helping her pack her boxes. To the two of them teasing each other and casually touching each other and sharing knowing glances. How did they get here and how many people know about it and also can we keep it forever and ever?

Also, I do feel like there could have been more Theo in episode 7 if they wanted to keep the tradition. Like I completely get that it's hard to connect Theo tightly to this season's plot and themes, but maybe something about forgiveness since she's friends with him and fighting with Charles and Oliver could've worked? I've heard talk about him staying on for at least one more episode, so if this episode was more of a reintroduction to him before becoming more of a regular presence I certainly won't mind.

[p5x-theories]

Hey this guy is a native speaker and you can hear him say the names of the new thieves. Yui, Hina Nishimori, Toshiya Sugai, and Miyu Sahara. Idk if he’s speaking 8n Chinese or Japanese but the names sound clear. https://www.youtube.com/live/6fQz402kUg4?si=RId-nY6Gk7ju9RL2 at 40:43

Oh, haha, I was just about to post a link to his stream of the preview livestream, for anyone else who was curious to see it!

He's speaking Japanese, which means his readings of the names (which are written in Japanese) are probably a more accurate guess than what I'm doing with my dictionary, yeah. The kanji characters that Japanese names are usually written with often have multiple ways they can be read, though, and my understanding is that even if you're a native speaker, the first reading of the name that comes to mind may not always be the correct one, in the same way you could misread a name in English because you've heard it pronounced one way, but the person whose name it is pronounces it another way.

Which isn't to say I think he's wrong necessarily! Just that (at least as I understand it as someone learning Japanese) it's still not 100% confirmation those are their canon names, so I'll hold off on calling anything "confirmed" until I hear the names in-game, just to be safe.

(Though, to be clear, I do consider Yui confirmed, since they write that name in English in some cases as well, haha. The above explanation applies to the three names written in Japanese.)

But thanks for sending this in, all the same!

[phtalogreenpoison]

bit of a vent,,, bit of a pep talk,, read below the cut

sometimes i want to go off my meds. i'm like it's annoying to be dizzy all the time and sometimes i go kinda flat emotionally. like i'm not numb or apathetic (been on too high a dose and i did NOT like that) but still.

but i know if i do, my mood swings are too hard for me to handle. i get angry all the time and i try so hard not to lash out at people i care about.

and yet i still miss the highs. i miss the days where i felt like i was pouring out creativity, writing a song every day, funny and carefree (or anyways, less anxious). i miss not needing as much sleep to function.

and i can't even say "oooh that's the demons talking" bc my ocd ass will be like "what if you actually ARE evil and possessed??" which i know isn't true, but still.

and yet. it's hard to know that i am reliant upon another person prescribing me medicine and hopefully not judging me for it, especially when i might have to change doctors soon. that if i ever run out, i'm likely in for a very bad time. that the side effects might catch up with me. that certain things become more likely for my body.

also that my memory is fuzzy for chunks of my life. i don't feel like i'm getting any smarter, like i'm actively declining. i am in my 20s.

it's just kinda the grief of realizing my life might not be exactly how i planned it, that i might not be capable of as much as i thought, at least in the way most people do.

and yet i persist. i keep going. i take the damn pills every single day (or try to). because that is currently what is best for me.

but like hell am i going to judge someone who refuses medication. it better damn well be their choice, and i regret every single day judging someone in my past for being rebellious and violent without ever considering WHY they were that way. what society pushed them to without ever offering a hand back up. because the system (at least where i live) is broken, especially in regards to mental and physical health.

and i'm one of the lucky ones. i realized pretty early on what was going on, even though hardly anyone believed me at first, or that i was exaggerating. or that i was "normal." (great way to never trust yourself or think that you're manipulating or gaslighting by saying you're Hurting, by the way.) i can afford the co-pays. i am so, so lucky.

and yet, i'm still hurting. i want attention pretty much near constantly, especially from my favorite people, but i'm a quiet person who has a hard time reaching out. i doubt myself pretty near constantly and have extremely low self worth, even after so long of putting in the work to actively better myself. i hate people easily, based on one comment they say, or think they're fantastic for barely any reason. (and i can feel myself emphasizing what i want people to see, so people pay attention to me)

i'm still me. horribly so. beautifully so. even when i don't know who that is on the bad days.

please keep going. i promise it's worth it. i can't promise it always gets easier or better, but i can promise it's worth it.

especially for the people who love you unconditionally, without reservation. and for yourself. if you're not there yet, that's okay. you might never get there fully, but it's still worth it. because you can still experience love and joy and grief and friendships and relationships of all kinds and community and culture and and and. for the brief walk we have upon this earth, there are wonders to see and experience.

hold my hand in this darkness together. we shall sit as long as you need.