#I know like. SOME things with introject...stuff.

[sysmedsaresexist]

The "alters aren't separate people" discourse is getting way too nasty. It is really none of anyone's business (except for you and your therapist) how you view the people/parts in your system.

All people need to know is that alters exist in the same body and mind. They do not have separate bodies, thus they are a system and need to learn how to cope and share responsibility as a system.

My therapist literally does not care if I refer to my system members as "parts of me" or "the other people." I do both all the time. I would not care if I had a CDD patient myself and they did the same. Your therapists want you to be able to express yourself authentically. They will help you explore your own beliefs and whether any are exacerbating your symptoms and how to untangle that if necessary.

It's important, as a psychologist, not to treat a CDD patient as separate people with no relation to each other. They are a system. The system is not their own abuser because they have an abuser introject, the system does not need to be enrolled in kindergarten because they have littles, the system is not committing crimes if one of their human alters is in a relationship with their own animal alter or whatever, etc.

Please can we all just be normal about this and let people recover and self-determine at their own pace?

Some additional thoughts on all of this --

Parts vs people language discourse is so interesting to me because I actually see a lot of systems who use people language treating their system as parts of a whole. These things aren't mutually exclusive. I wish people would actually listen to the experiences that others are communicating instead of barely scratching the surface because they got mad at the words the other person was using.

Anyways, years ago I remember another psychologist with DID bringing up how often pwCDDs early on in their recovery are triggered by the idea of being parts of a whole. Think about what that confronts them with. Think about how that puts them face-to-face with all the compartmentalized things that got so thoroughly dissociated away.

Before I was diagnosed, earlier on in my own recovery, I thought that my alters were supernatural in nature. Different parts had their own explanations for it. It ranged from tamer psychic/spiritual belief stuff like telepathy and mediumship, to actual genuine delusions. Some of us thought that we were all real people who existed in different parts of the world, connected mentally. Some of them thought the same thing but that we were all from different universes, somehow interfacing within a single body.

We struggled heavily with the delusions and dissociation. We were just trying to make sense of our fragmented experience.

Even after our diagnosis, even after we realized that alters were not like that, we still struggled. Because dissociation does that. Dissociation carves a divide between all parts of the system. We struggled to see ourselves as parts of a whole until we got far enough into recovery to lessen that dissociation and finally see how we were all interconnected within.

Thank God we discovered our DID before nowadays. We would've been flayed alive by the online community. We would've been attacked for just being Not Recovered enough, for using all the Wrong Words, and for having odd beliefs and genuine delusions about our own mental health.

There's nothing wrong with simply stating that alters are all parts of a whole. We are. Because that's what being a system is. We all share a single body and mind. But taking it further to invalidate the individuality of alters, police the words they use, dismiss their personal/spiritual beliefs, or attack them just because they're triggered or can't see it yet...?

What are we even doing???

[simplyrecources]

hiii i was wondering what folders do you guys have in sp? or if you have any insp for it that would help sm!

Hello anon. Our folders are not something that we are comfortable sharing in depth information on, but I can give you the vague details of what we use and things (although some of these we don't).

Identity details/Fronting indicators:

Ages- Self-explanatory.

Alter roles- Inside with have folders for individual roles- Remember that this may not help your system if you don't use roles and find them restrictive.

Gender/Sexuality- Self-explanatory.

Interests- Inside we have folders for every interest individual alters have.

Introject status- This is because we have a lot of introjects and introject 'piles' (a collection of introjects of the same character), if we can tell it's an introject then it helps to look through our 'groups' to find stuff.

Music taste- Folders for alters with different music tastes.

'Vibe'- A collection of 'vibes' and feelings to see who is fronting, for example if you have alters whose 'vibe' could be described as 'witch like', so we have a folder for alters whose vibes fit this, another for alters who fit a 'robot' vibe, ect.

Fronting frequency:

Frequent fronters- For the regular fronters

Semi frequent fronters- For alters that front often but not often enough to be regular fronters

Hardly ever fronts- For alters that don't front often

Very rarely fronts- For alters that front very rarely

Unable to front- For alters that can't front.

Dormant alters- For alters that are no longer around to front.

It's too early to say- For alters that may be new and we can't know what their fronting patterns will be.

General system info

Formed date- I would reccomend marking this by year rather than using specific dates.

Inner system groups- We tend to have 'clusters' of alters that front together or hang out in headspace, it's more for curiosity reasons.

Profile customization status- Just for marking down which alters profiles need editing.

Subsystems- Self explanatory.

[proendovents]

Ok wanna expand a little on that death threat thing actually-

This person we were "friends" with always was iffy about a lot of stuff like polyamory and plurality and neurodivergency (and depression, me and a friend of theirs brought up being mentally ill and they were like "um that's so weird???? You guys are SO weird like shut the FUCK up) yesterday we made a profile for one of our alters who had been really scared of actually telling people they exist (they're introject of a character a lot of people hate), but finally decided to show themselves and we sent it in this groupchat since they know about us and we want to keep our friends updated on who's there. So this brought up another discussion about mental disorders and stuff and like. They were REALLY pushing the "this is FUCKING weird" and everyone in this groupchat is some flavor of neurodivergent so everyone was like. Chill out??? Even their partner said "hey I'm literally bipolar?" When this person said "I didn't know any people with any disorders before this group so of course I'm weirded out because people with disorders are Different " and basically said "yes but you're my partner" which is??? SO weird???? Then I pulled out of the Convo because it was making us highly uncomfortable and gave the alter that started all of this a panic attack so. Yk. Then we check back in and our qpp is educating them like "hey it's. Actually VERY normal lots of people have it, you've been talking to them without noticing when they switch but they have cause I can tell since I've talked to all the alters before they're still normal people, if different people" and this person's reaction was saying "well I hope everyone who has this explodes" so of course my qpp was like "dude. What the fuck these are actual people if you're serious about this you're being seriously abelist" and this person dead ass said "well then guess I'm abelist because I was serious" which is??? WHAT THE FUCK???? Like your partner is RIGHT THERE they've got a disorder EVERYONE in half the group chats we were both in is some flavor of mentally ill to some degree are you INSANE???? Not to mention that fucking??? Hoping we die??? Is also kinda. Getting into topics like eugenics like dUDE WHAT THE FUCK

Jesus Christ that’s fucked up

[antiendovents]

I have no idea where else to turn but here, sorry if this isnt at all the kind of ask you want to recieve

I just recently split and I'm scared and confused and nobody is answering my messages so I dont know what to do. So. If there's any good tips for new alters to figure stuff out that you know of I'd love to have them.. I need to ground myself somehow but I cant think of any good ways.

hey, hey. Don't worry, you're allowed to vent about anything here, you're all good. I know this was sent about a day or two ago, but I'll still try list what I know. Or more like what we usually do, these may not work for everyone and that's okay, you just may need to try find other ways to calm yourself in that case. (Though a lot of this is sort of assuming you know what's happening, as we don't tend to get alters who don't and when we do we don't usually remember what happens when they front)

Usually we try do something we enjoy, this only really works when there's someone else with the new alter or when the alter knows something they enjoy doing though, but it does help to distract us and calm us down sometimes

I know you said no one is replying, so I'm assuming talking to someone is out of the question, so instead I recommend trying to write. Sometimes it helps get your thoughts out and helps process them. That way you can work through them

Sometimes if we're trying to figure out who or what we are we'll scroll through photos on Pinterest to see if something catches our attention and gives us a connection, this usually helps with fragments who may connect to specific images as an identity or for new alters trying to find faceclaims, or even new introjects who don't know their source yet, ect.

I'd recommend looking around to see if your system has a journal of some kind or anything that keeps information about it, as it may help you understand yourself and the others a little easier.

Even just doing things like breathing exercises, listening to calm music or cuddling up to a teddy/relaxing in bed could help. (The last part generally is more to feel safe and protected, but again this is more of our own comfort)

Also for trying to find names for yourself, if you need that, we usually just search up "NPTs" or "name lists" and scroll through, if you have specific themes in mind for the name you want you can search that up too. We usually do it on Tumblr but you can do it just on Google itself

I can't really think of much else to suggest, as we don't usually do all too much to calm ourselves, we just try to get as distracted as possible, so theres not much we can recommend, but we do hope you manage to ground yourself somehow and that you feel better soon 🫂

[lastwave]

Harry Du Bois, the skills + DID/OSDD coding

a compilation of most of my thoughts on harry as a system (note: i am system im not just like. pulling stuff out my ass)

1. Structural Dissociation Theory crash course

so for this point i'm going to give you a crash course structural dissociation theory (do not use me as a source for ur knowledge on it this is very like. base level and just to establish context)

structural dissociation states that we all start as multiple different facets, and that as we grow up, these facets all fuse into a cohesive personality. however, in DID/OSDD, ongoing trauma proves it safer to NOT fuse these facets and instead develop dissociative and amnestic barriers between them to varying degrees. these facets cope by developing into individual personalities, and if traumatic events persist, the brain may split more personalities to try and cope with this. this gives us two bits of information that i'm going to use throughout this

1. there is no "original", just alters that host for long periods of time and/or identify with the body the most

2. amnestic & dissociative barriers are fluid. in times of rest, these barriers may start to come down between some alters, but not necessarily all.

**NOTE: these are not hard and fast rules and vary from system to system. it's also vastly different if you have Polyfrag DID or Complex DID. since I don't hc Harry as polyfrag or complex tho, i'm not gonna get into that

2. Harry (the system)

so it's pretty easy to establish that harry has a good handful of childhood trauma. being born in a military hospital + town and growing up there means he probably saw and/or heard a lot of death and sickness. we also know his father left based on the logic passive in the measurehead conversation

we also know from the reaction speed passive when you find out your name that harry was born in a time all these were concerns. most likely, hunger, considering how through the game hunger + eating is an undertone w/ harry

we also have the klaasje half-light passive implying that harry's been raped (might not have occurred during childhood, but still a contributing factor to trauma)

my point being bro has enough childhood trauma and then some to create a system.

we also see a LOT of amnestic barriers between harry and the rest of the skills. besides the obvious not remembering anything, we see the skills remembering things that harry doesn't.

for example, EChem remembers that harry took speed some point recently, while harry himself doesn't

we also see that the skills have distinct personalities and opinions separate from each other. shit we've got a communist (rhetoric) and a fascist (endurance) living in the same fucking body. half light is immediately suspicious of everyone and everything while empathy tries to understand everyone even to their own detriment. and volition and echem need a whole post of their own. thats some pretty strong dissociative barriers

3. Harry (the alter)

to be quite honest with you i think harry as we, the audience, know him is a brand new split, an introject* of an old host that has either fused with another alter or gone dormant. he's trying to fill a different harry du bois's shoes- someone he is fundamentally similar to, but is, at his core, not

*Definition from did-research.org: Introjects are alters that are based off of an outside person or figure. Introjects may or may not see themselves as the individual that they represent.

knowing nothing about yourself, even what you look like, is a common feeling for new splits (in our experience). with the high amnestic barriers separating harry from the rest of the system, it makes sense that the first time he is conscious he is totally lost about his own identity, where he lives, or what his occupation even is.

losing facts about basic reality is probably a dissociative response. things the brain knows (see encyclopedia filling in gaps once given a prompt about something like Fillipe the Conquerer) but doesn't want the new host to know for fear of not being able to function.

4. Certain Alters with Functions

some of the skills fall into alter "archetypes" (not all alters will, even in like. real life systems) and im just gonna list them out here:

ones with subtextual backing:

Volition: Caretaker + Apparent Normal Part

Half-Light: trauma holder

Electro-Chemistry: symptom + trauma holder

Authority: protector

Logic: apparent normal part

ones that are just my headcanons:

Interfacing: little

Endurance: ex-persecutor

Inland Empire: ex-caretaker

here ends my post of articulate thoughts, if u have any like. follow up questions feel free to shoot me an ask. might take me a minute tho

[starfilled-galaxy]

Need help/advice??

So we have a new guy but he's like in a super weird state regarding awareness of being in a system and I have no clue how to help him…? He logically is aware of plurality and stuff but he's also suuuuper connected to his exomems and stuff so… I think logically he knows he's a fictive in a system and the place he's in is a plural headspace, but he doesn't fully understand that?

Based on how he is at the moment (and for the foreseeable future), I don't think it would be possible (or helpful? idk it feels like it might make things worse) to try to get him to understand that he's "just an introject" and have him source separate and such But he's also having a really hard time comprehending that there's (fictives of) other versions of him, and just in general where he is (since our headspace looks pretty fantasy-esc) He's almost entirely convinced he's asleep and dreaming, or got drugged or something It's also making him uncomfortable and just… confused in general

Sorry lots of yapping, I'm tired, some of this might not make sense lol But yeah I don't know what would help him be less confused and weirded out when he either doesn't have the ability or the mental stability to understand the whole plurality thing right now

ANTI ENDOS DO NOT INTERACT!!!!

NOTE: We see exomems and our headspace in a more metaphysical way, as if they are real memories/places (because they are to us). We would like you to keep that in mind, please do not invalidate our beliefs. Talking about this psychologically is fine but we'd like you to not use medical or heavily psychological-based terms (i.e. parts language, "pseudomemories," etc)

(sorry for putting this long ass note at the end, we had bad experiences with the last time we asked for plural advice on tumblr, so you know)

[idioticaltxri]

It's been a while since I've been out in the, you know, outerworld. I feel bad you have to deal with this chaos gremlin (Zephyr) /lh

Our headspace is a right variety, for example I mostly live solitarily in the scorched, desert type roadside, but most of the headspace is lushious forests and stuff (apart from front room, that's more like a room). I'm kind of curious to know about headspaces of other fellow systems, what's your headspace like?/nf /if you have one ofc /srsly nf

-❓

ooo!!! headspace stuff!!

our headspace is essentially just... a city (but I'll call it "overworld" for reasons you'll see later and the City itself "the main spot") , NYC based with a big ass skyscraper that has our front room at the tippy top and then the other floors have mostly rooms for everybody. the rest of the city is also fairly populated with npcs and our actual headmates but the BIGGGG thing about it is the portals in the middle of the city. These portals are usually portals that basically go to the realm of a fandom, like say for me (jax btw) there's a portal that i can go to to essentially "go back to my home" it's not really my home it's just kind of an on point replica so everyone can feel like at home and so that we (the alter who are split from said fandom) can have a place to do the usual things we did in canon.

in the middle of all the portal is the portal of the Gatekeepers Realm* no idea what's beyond that portal because I've never bothered to go in bc you need a pass for it which you have to either pay for or you can get a one day pass as a guest. I've heard from the others that the Gatekeepers realm* has like.. a council tower, where at the tippy top is our system leader's office and below is the council room where they hold out meetings. the other floors apparently hold offices and stuff.

then in that exact realm we also have THE Hospital with all of our medical team there, we also have our own little hospital in the "overworld" which usually has 2-3 medics max bc if you're in an emergency you automatically go to THE Hospital. also, quick side note, our Healthcare system is sooo gooddd omggg..

then we have our prison/jail where people who've broken rules or done something horrible go to. Surprisingly, i have not been there... yet.

I've heard the usual sentence is from 2-3 days to "forever" (aka when it's decided you're good to get out, and that people are sure you won't do that thing again, "forever" is usually reserved for those who've done A REALLY HORRIBLE THING)

i don't know what else there is in the Gatekeepers Realm*, I'm missing a few things bc of not ever going there, but these are the things I've been toldby others who've gone there

our (the tadc introjects + a few others who've been employed there) Spudsy's is placed somewhere in the overworld, it's where i work at currently. it has evolved a lot from canon, it's got a Spudsy's Café where you can get pastries, coffee and just like, anything sweet. Then we also have our delivery Spudsy's Deliveries. the owner of our Spudsy's is Gangle (the one whomst has posted before, as we have another gangle besides him)

Besides the NYC Themed city, you can actually go out and travel the world (it's like a version of irl but mostly just inspired), some of us have actually scattered around it but we can always just teleport back to the main spot of the world (NYC based city)

Some of us, especially the ones who are prone to speak another language in headspace are the ones who've fleed the main spot. There's also just... like, the people who love traveling who've also fleed the main spot. Personally I've not explored or traveled much besides it and a few other realms. Factives (and the brainmades too) are more prone to stay in the overworld btw bc it's very realistic looking and it's just... "irl but with extra cool stuff" as some have dubbed it. of course the famous Factives are still famous and still do concerts and the like, bc we've got thousands of npcs and stuff.

overall, our headspace is cool, and I have no idea if it was built by somebody or was here the entire time, i just know that each time a new fandom has appeared they've built their own stuff over in the overworld and their home/fandom portal is usually built by the gatekeepers and whoever else wants to help.

also another side note, the Gatekeepers Realm* guest passes are also habded out if you're called in someones office in there for some reason. The forever Pass is either paid for like a subscription or you're cool enough to get it for free. The people who work in the Gatekeepers Realm* don't have or need a pass they're always okay to go in. ALWAYS. and as a security measure, There's a 2 guards that are always guarding the portal at all times. they have different shifts though because once every few hours the guards get swapped.

there's a lot of other things in headspace that i can't really go into bc i don't know much about, i don't like hanging out and about much, I'm kinda lone wolf-ish, unless it's my Sourcemates or a few friends that I surprisingly have but kind of avoid (woops)

*idk the exact name our sys uses for it atm, also it ain't just the Gatekeepers realm it's for all the important roles and important things our system has and stuff..

[indigochromatic]

hi. this may seem out of left field, but is there any research on how OCD, Autism, CPTSD, and plurality can mix together? yes, all of them/any combination of them, because we *think* our plurality began due to our OCD spawning someone and it cascaded from there, and we'd like to know if anyone else has had similar experiences, or knows anything about it. a caveat being we aren't diagnosed with DID, and covid recently burnt out our headspace and internal communication. maybe you can find something we can't? we dunno

Hey there! Damn, that sounds rough, I'm sorry. Short answer is yeah, absolutely, this stuff can all be connected for sure.

-> CPTSD and plurality of course have a pretty robust, well-established connection--not in the sense that they only ever go together, but that it's very common for plurality to exist and/or arise in concert with chronic trauma and hardship. Chronic adverse environments promote chronic dissociation, which is a well-studied risk factor/predisposing factor to developing dissociative plurality (and actually probably any plurality, based on anecdotal conversations with some intentionally-created system friends who have noticed that folks in their communities with more dissociative tendencies often tend to find the process of creating headmates to be easier). In most cases, studies on this stuff are looking at the relationships between DID and CPTSD, but a system doesn't have to have a DID diagnosis to be experiencing dissociative aspects to their plurality, especially in cases where they also have CPTSD and/or a history of chronic difficult life experiences.

-> Autism is unfortunately a very strong predictor for trauma, definitely because of ableism and the chronic struggles of living in an overstimulating and allistic-centered environment/society, but/and also because there's some research indicating that the neurology of autism itself makes a brain more likely to utilize trauma-response pathways: (this is a post we made talking about one of those papers, with a link to a news article about the paper). Also, and this is closer to an armchair theory of ours, but there are traits that tend to be more common in autistic folks that seem likely to be non-trauma-related additional predisposing factors for plurality--stuff like personification synesthesia (link and link), object personification (link and link), and mirroring-of-others tendencies that can look a lot like "temporary introjection"

-> We're less familiar on the research between OCD and CPTSD, autism and/or plurality--but one thing to note is that OCD itself can be a very traumatizing experience just innately, especially living with the disorder for many years. Also, the inverse is true: pwOCD are more likely than average to have experienced adverse and/or traumatic events (link and link). Autism and OCD are often comorbid (link and link). Also, and this was new to us to read, but apparently OCD is often linked to dissociative experiences, and some researchers have theorized relationships between OCD and maladaptive daydreaming (which is often considered to be on a spectrum with dissociative disorders like DID/OSDD, as well as sometimes co-occurring with them) Also, @curiousitycollective has a bunch of great posts detailing their experience with OCD + schizo-spectrum stuff + systemhood (hey! hope you don't mind the shoutout, lmk if you'd prefer I deleted the direct ping and I'll do it)

Hope this is helpful? What you're describing sounds super in line with what we've heard other systems talk about, just anecdotally. And plurality pretty much always has a way of becoming intertwined in various ways with whatever else your brain's got going on.

If you have more questions, or if you're looking for something more specific, lmk and we'll see what we can do. <3

-S

[thevampirecasketsystem]

 being the main host + a factive is so annoying

“You arent the REAL Gerard Way” I am aware I never claimed to be

oh, and I’m also annoyed because I was in a discord server and I was using plural kit so it was proxied to me and some random person in the server was being invasive and it was so annoying

They kept asking about Frerard and if I have pseudo memories of dating Frank which is uncomfy because it seems like I’m just kind of being used is this person’s like weird fanfic fantasy which I don’t wanna be

The person in question was like 13 and started guilt tripping me when I said to please stop (they were talking about how they were the worst person and they should harm themselves and stuff, just cause I asked them to not ask those kind of things to me and it made me feel bad, but I know they were probably just doing that so I would tell them)

it it’s pretty infuriating because yes, I am an introject and I am source connected but I’m not claiming to be the Gerard way I’m not identity stealing like I know I’m not actually a famous musician but still, I don’t wanna be treated like either I’m trying to steal his identity or I’m some fan for teenage girls who ship frerard

[i-am-not-a-violent-dog]

Hihihihihihi first rp ask blog of mine! Mission as a character + this blog in general are owned by @these-secondhand-wings ! Meee :D

Here you can find the rules and boundaries for this blog, and below, the rundown of this funky dude's story! Please review these before interacting if possible :]

RULES / BOUNDARIES

- No NSFW. Ever. Romance is okay but will probably not be reciprocated!

- OOC interactions welcome!! Give the robot a cookie! He can't eat it, though.

- If interacting in character, please be reasonable! You can talk, ask, poke the robot, just be courteous of the nature of the blog and please don't powerplay.

- Art is a solid maybe! Most will be cleaned up response sketches, if anything. I struggle lots with creative motivation right now.

- Tread lightly. The owner of this blog is a DIDsys with an introject of the mentioned character, albeit separate from the blog. We will be uncomfortable answering and interacting with some asks.

- Keep in mind interactions will be outside of the aforementioned junk yard after a certain point. I have a few plans for the blog, please respect that!

- You are welcome to post code translations in the notes, tags, replies, etc. :) Those will be plenty.

- IC will be written like a story page. IC codes will be in purple text. OOC stuff will be in blue and parentheses.

- Tags for now are "I don't know why I bite ; MISSION" (general ic blog tag), "Transmission received; MISSION" (answering an ask), and "Visual input detected ; MISSION" (answering an ask with art)

And now, the show you've all been waiting for!

Story and references will be below the cut.

Mission.

A custom Biograft model created to be a guard dog. Up to date with the latest in attack technology. A pricey choice, for some, but worth it for the protection it offers for the buyer. Or, in this case, the buyer's child.

Mission came into the Inpherno with one distinct instruction in its coding. "Protect them at all costs." And protect it did. Its owner's closest friend was disposed of immediately when proven to be a threat. A machine designed to kill will do precisely that, but a machine designed to protect needs to be much more complex.

Gentleness was never Mission's strong suit, but it tried its best when it came to the owner's kid. It kept an eye on them at all times, but it also let them count its spikes and play with its horns. It would trace the texture of the child's palms and ask questions about their day. Maybe it wasn't programmed to be gentle, but a bond was made. Its owner could only hope such things would motivate it further.

Unfortunately, the subject of Mission's protection gained lots of attention for the unusual method of safety. Their gear was highly sought after already, but now their wealth as well. Some were deterred, others took this as a challenge. Mission knew this well. Mission never failed.

And with this in mind, one must ask: Why don't these things ever come with a failsafe?

One fatal flaw in Mission's coding would be its downfall. It was never designed to fail. Not once had it been considered how this guard dog might snap at the wrong hand, given the right situation. So when it lost sight of the kid during a hunt? It flipped its lid.

And that's how Mission found itself draining battery in a junk yard, with a bullet lodged in the back of its metallic skull.

REFERENCES / FURTHER INFO

Sketch ref art by @these-secondhand-wings .

Color reference art by KarkinosMIA on Toyhouse.

[abyssaldoll]

BLOCK DONT REPORT 🪽

🤍🪽

name - Jinx / Doll

nicknames - come up with some if you like!

pronouns - she/it

age - 21

🤍🪽

I’m a DID syshost, severely borderline and psychotic

literally Jinx, die mad abt it. if you’re not comfy calling me that then call me Doll. I’m also dating a Lux introject. again, die mad, I love my girl.

I like Nikki games, LoL and story based games like Life is Strange and Lost Records

I’m starting out with Jirai fashion and some other sys alters wear other Jfashion styles, other than that we dress in punk / grunge fashion

I’m a lifestyle jirai / landmine girl though <3

🤍🪽

I’ll probably be posting SH and ED related stuff here as well as general mental illness and jirai posting.

I won’t post pics or anything encouraging EDs, it’s more about the fact I have that issue. I won’t be posting SH pics but might talk about wanting to do it, again it’s just a thing I deal with.

I’m a victim of child sex trafficking and might mention that occasionally.

Our collective identity is not my identity. Do not refer to me how you refer to the system as a whole (if you know us)

🤍🪽

[curiousitycollective]

hiii, very sorry if this is the wrong blog to ask for something like this. my therapist has been away for a few weeks so i cant ask for help normally. we recently realized that we've developed an introject of an abuser, which is normal for our system. what's not normal is he's kind of nice, like an idealized version of this abuser, and feels like more than a fragment (usually our abuser introjects are like fragments or feel puppetted, not like real alters. he's a real guy). he hangs around the front a lot and has been passively influencing our host to engage with more media they both enjoy (but that real abuser introduced us to), but for the rest of us doing this is just bringing up bad feelings and memories associated with real abuser. we broke up barely 3 months ago so those feelings are still fresh enough that doing this often is messing with us my therapist would generally say that radically accepting this new introject is a good thing to do, and we're TRYING, but it feels like whenever we do we get sucked into flashbacks. i dont know how to balance doing things he wants and accepting him while also protecting myself/the rest of us from the pain his source causes.... is this... normal?? like, the part where this abuser introject is Nice. i've never heard or experienced them being nice before. he's not nice all the time to be fair, but he's WAY kinder than his source. if you have any tips for balancing our lives better with this type of alter advice is appreciated as well. thank you so much <3

This probably isn't going to be as detailed as we usually are because we're not having a good time with words but we wanted to try and give you an answer. Also this is like half text to speak and half typed so please excuse any weird typos

So there's two big things to address, as to the first yes it's completely normal to introject nicer or idealized versions of abusers.

There's a lot of reasons it can happen and it doesn't always happen every time or even often but its a thing. It can be due to the need to process positive experiences, the brain needing some form of familiarity and comfort, trying to recontextualize negative memories and more. There's probably as many reasons as there are introjects

In general the community doesn't like to talk about introjects of abusers, and even less so when yiu get into stuff like positive introjects so it can give the impression it never happens but it's completely normal.

Okay as for coping we're going to give a bunch of options and suggest seeing what helps you the most. We do want to emphasize that while acceptance is good, that doesn't prelude you also being hurt and upset about things. You can accept is presence while still holding space for the fact you are hurt and its difficult to have him with you

for coping with flashbacks it might help to have some kind of grounding sensory thing on hand. Something with a strong smell you like or a fidget with a lot of tactile feedback it can help bring you out of them and give you something to focus on

It might help to speak with him about the stress and flashbacks not in a "your a bad person for existing" way but as a "hey this isn't your fault but this is tough for the system and we are working on things" so he can be aware and might be able to help work with y'all

Give yourselves a huge break, your dealing with something really fucking stressful without a big part of your support network. Don't expect yourselves to be at 100% and balancing everything perfectly.

Focus on keeping yourselves feed and sleeping as well as you can, this sounds like obvious advice but its really easy to let both slip and both can lead to major mood swings and worse symptoms (this is based on both personal experience and biological science)

Try and keep communication between all of you as open as you can. Its easy to shutdown and bury feelings but it will make things harder to deal with and can lead to resentment

Above all give yourselves time and patience because this is a difficult thing to deal with and you are doing your best.

[yumeshiftss]

Tw! Mentions of syscourse, fake claiming, mentions of suicide, talking abt experiences as a traumagenic system so just overall just upsetting topics. Read with caution

We really don’t like getting into syscourse but we feel like I should share my personal experience as a traumagenic system.

For some background- I’ve had alters since childhood, I’m not gonna go in depth abt my trauma (obviously) however the important thing is that they were all introjects since cartoons and other media was legit the only safe way I could cope with the trauma I was going through. At the time I just thought they were imaginary friends- some would come and go though there was always some there and it’s been like that for as long as I can remember.

I never had the words to explain it, at first it was imagery friends, then it was daydreaming, turned into maladaptive daydreaming. I have had heard abt DID and similar disorders before but I never knew much abt them so… we just- kept on living.

Then suddenly, in the year like 2020-2021 (maybe 23??? Idk the years merge into each other) I saw videos on TikTok- about well- systems! At first I was just interested- since the experiences they were talking about felt REALLY relatable… like that was exactly what I was experiencing, so I kept on watching and I kept on seeing more systems and their experiences.

Ofc when you interact with a bunch of system content… syscourse is bound to show up. And at the time topics like IRLS (I think another term ppl used was delusion attachment?) were big… and yeah- let’s just say a majority of the videos I saw weren’t “hey these people have something going on and we should try our best to support them, even if we don’t understand what. And hey! Perhaps medical professionals should look into this to better help people” they were more like “IRLS are disgusting fakers who fantasize abt having DID and are just fake copycats of systems who are horrible people. They’re all just roleplayers and have no actual issues going on!” And well- it made me feel… confused. I had known abt IRLS and believed that at the very least something was going on and that even if I don’t know how or why it happens that’s up to medical professionals. Though of course that raised thoughts on “am I a bad person because I believe them?”

Then call outs on “fake systems” and videos on “how to spot a fake system” with stuff like “fakers will usually claim to be fictive heavy since they just wanna rp as anime characters!!” And “if a system likes being a system then they’re clearly faking since no REAL system likes being a system!!” and well… those applied to us. We were a fictive heavy system and well I liked (and still like) being a system- hell it was probably the only reason why we were still ALIVE. There are multiple times where I would’ve probably killed myself if it weren’t for them and them talking me out of it.

So when I heard about how the stuff I- WE were experiencing made us “fakers” I was… lost, confused, I thought we had finally made a step in the right direction to figuring out what was going on… but then the answer suddenly had a barrier with thousands of spikes and a massive “DO NOT ENTER” sign.

It wasn’t JUST the fake claiming (which is still bad on its own) it was the way they would talk abt those they thought were “faking” like they were evil people that get off on the suffering of “real systems” and that made me TERRIFIED. What also didn’t help is that anytime I made a comment about questioning if we were a system the responses I got were… not friendly. While some kind souls did in fact tell me to go seek a professionals help on the matter a majority of replies were “it’s extremely rare so you probably don’t have it” to even just straight up “oh look another faker” and to me, what I had saw and heard other people say was that “fakers” were horrible people, that take advantage and actively harm “real systems”

So of course… the thoughts started to come up

Was I a bad person? Was I a horrible human being for even QUESTIONING about being a system?

So… I stopped. I stopped interacting with system content, I stopped looking at sources, I completely tried to forget everything. Of course that doesn’t fucking work when y’know…. Still have fucking alters, what also didn’t help that before I spiraled into the whole “I’m faking and a horrible human being” I was actually actively acknowledging them as being more than “just daydreams” and communication was well- getting better… of course that changed and I immediately started trying to ignore them, I felt incredibly guilty over the fact I acknowledged them in the first place, that I was a horrible person for doing so.

But… without them. I was fucking miserable.

They never left- they were STILL there I was just ignoring them to the extreme. However I felt extremely alone, suddenly there was no one to help when I got flashbacks, had extremely bad anxiety, and when I felt extremely unsafe… cause everyone that usually would help me through situations like that- I thought made me a disgusting human being who likes just roleplaying a sick fantasy abt having a disorder.

Safe to say that was a horrible fucking time for us. Of course it got to a point where I couldn’t deny their existence anymore- but I was still terrified about questioning being a system. So I just- called it daydreaming and left it at that… and well I never told anyone about it. It was something I actively hid.

In fact, it took us YEARS to finally tell someone and go seek a professional about it and we only recently started seeing a therapist.

We probably would’ve told someone sooner if it weren’t for anti-endos and system exclusionists that made me feel like how our system works was wrong and evil…

I don’t really know how to end this- however ig I should probably say this…

instead of immediately treating systems that don’t perfectly fit into your box on what a “real system is” like evil fakers, treat them with kindness. Cause even if you don’t believe they’re a “real system” there could still be something going on, and to deny them helpful sources and a community that can help them for a most likely very confusing and difficult time can be extremely dangerous.

-🎀

[fictive-culture]

not a culture thing just a ramble but. man it always surprises us how Effective our system is at getting new members to feel comfortable?? like, for the past few years we slowly kind of like... weaned ourselves off of needing a host in a way? slowly teaching Everyone Else how to access collective memory, how to switch on command, gatekeeping and caretaker duties, that sort of thing. One, because most of our previous hosts got extreme burnout from having to manage everything, two because our system is so huge and goes through complete frequent-fronter overhauls pretty often so that finding (and teaching) a new host got pretty stressful after a while. So, we have sections of headmates who excel in caretaking, or protecting, or gatekeeping or whatever, but everyone gets to swap out jobs whenever because we have so many of each and some do multiple jobs. we've been getting wayyyy less Role Burnout because of it, and way less of us are being pretty much forced into temporary dormancy due to that.

and somehow we just. didn't even notice our progress until recently? i think it was at first most major with our Outsiders introjects, how they so quickly adjusted to and honestly found a TON of relief being in a system they KNOW is a safe space. any of them could go to anyone they needed, could stay separate from sourcemates they wanted to be apart from without feeling isolated (a lot of the time in the past we were Stuck with the subsystem of Our Source and that's all we could access. now our headspace is so much more open and people can just free-roam!!). and then we had a big lull period where we barely got any new members (that happens to us a lot, getting nobody for a couple months and then 31 IN THE SPAN OF TWO WEEKS yes this happened to us like. a month ago actually 😭). and then in our most recent new member spam, we got someone we expected to be needing to monitor a lot due to her source being incredibly traumatizing (and furthermore, it's a trauma the body has also experienced, so she can't even Just Forget It here). we tend to do that a lot with emotionally fragile headmates, just monitoring them in case they need comfort or are unable to handle body functions or front.

and this most recent time, we just kind of were shocked with how fast we.. didn't have to monitor her anymore?? it took maybe a couple of DAYS before she started getting the confidence to assert her boundaries and tell people Definitively No on anything. she's already comfortable enough here that within a week, despite the specific trauma she experienced, she's willing to entertain the idea of an in-sys relationship with another headmate who's already starting to develop feelings for her. to be fair, he's been basically her main caretaker so far, being the main person helping her feel comfortable here. but it's just like... from a body perspective THAT'S what's surprising us most, because the same trauma that the body experienced made us basically entirely outwardly aroace, only accepting in-sys relationships anymore. It just surprises us how effectively we've made this place a safe space for every new member, even the so-called "mean/problematic" ones (agarci & dream we love u) to the point where even when we introject this woman's main abuser, she's not scared anymore- because she knows BOTH of them will be safe here, even if just from each other.

you're doing amazing here, anya, and we're so fucking glad we've made a place that you feel safe in.

also, to any systems that feel discouraged over not being able to achieve certain skills or aspects in your system- we absolutely get it. all of this, that we've done here? it took YEARS. We're pretty sure our syscovery was sometime in 2018 or 2019, and we started working on all this stuff around 2020. and that doesn't necessarily mean it'll take that long for you- every system is unique, of course- but this is all the product of a ton of work. which means it can be done, and i promise you the time put in is worth it. we used to be a proxy sys! and we used to Completely Lose older members to new cycles- after all this work now we're very comfortably (and functionally! that's always important to pay attention to what works for you specifically!) hostless and can access system members and memories from even before our syscovery. it can get frustrating in the middle of it all for sure, but looking back and seeing how far you've come is so worth it in the end. the future is plural, never give up <3

Finally posting this beautiful fictive ramble

[syscultureis]

I’ve got a question and I’m not sure where to ask except here. Sorry if this isn’t the place. Also sorry that it’s long.

I’m a polyfrag sys. I’m in therapy and stuff and my therapist is seeing a DID specialist for me. Everything that makes me doubt that I could have DID turns out to be a symptom, but there’s one thing that still bugs me.

I’ve had alters just… disappear. Like, I’ve had some come in and out of dormancy, but some just gone. Alters seem to just split for no reason, too.

I’m under constant stress and I’m still having to deal with the person who caused all my trauma in the first place so I’ve been told the splitting isn’t super abnormal especially since. Polyfrag. But we’ve had so many alters split to deal with one specific situation, stay around for a bit, and then never front again. Like some haven’t made profiles on simply plural and have straight up been forgotten due to amnesia and stuff. The fact that we’re incredibly introject heavy doesn’t help.

Like it’s just making me wonder if I’ve been faking subconsciously and have been using the label for three years to explain something that just is not actually DID. My therapist is convinced I’ve got it but I had come to her with the suggestion and not the other way around.

I guess the question is really just whether or not this is possible. Our previous hosts are all still around and just rarely front because they hate it, but the ‘less developed parts,’ as my therapist calls them, tend to either go dormant or fuse (is that what it’s called?) or whatever it is that happens to them when they disappear.

Sorry if I seem a bit stupid. I’m a recently split alter and I’m still unsure how all this works. I just know I am heavily doubting myself right now because of this.

Thanks in advance.

We have pretty similar things happen, it's likely to be dormancy or fusion but honestly we don't know what happened to ours either

It's a scary part of the disorder that we've had a lot of other systems tell us about before

[skullrift]

https://www.tumblr.com/skullrift/770905875833667584/sometimes-i-will-just-hyperfixate-on-my-system?source=share

I volunteer as tribute. Yap to me, stranger on the internet.

OMGGGGG YAYAYAYYAAAAA!!!!!!!! >:DD

okok ummmn im so bad at starting points HAALPPP. ig i can just go over like ??? origin n sys function stuff??? i think thats fun :33

ok so like,. ive technically known i was a system since 2020 BUUT when i was introduced to plurality as a concept it was thru ........ the dark side .......... and i was forced into labels that didnt fit me and i was wrong abt basically EVERYTHING (thats a WHOOOLE OTHER RAMBLE LAWLL) but around like late 2021 i said screw it and just rebuilt my system from the ground up

but like ive also been plural since a child i just didnt realize or identify as such but like THE SIGNS WERE THERE (SQUINTS AT ME CREATING MANY YOUTUBE ACCOUNTS AND "PRETENDING" 2 BE DIFFERENT PEOPLE) its hard for me to know our complete history cuz of that but i have a DECENT GRASP!!!!

nuni n jax were the initial split (the "core"s if u will) with jax being the trauma holder,,,, hes kinda just turned into the MENTAL ILLNESS MAN atp which makes sense?? cuz thats why he split to begin with. ,.. IDK IF THATS OVERSHAREY LAWLL. they were rly similar when we were younger but over time developed vry different identities,.. nuni hasnt changed very much but jax is like TOTALLYY different

nuni doesnt front much anymore cuz she went dormant 4 a while and its difficult for her to adapt to the current world cuz so much has changed but we always let her front 4 fun stuff :3 like we have a yearly tradition where her and my partner go to see a christmas play its so cuuuute X))

i split next!!! we arent totally sure why we kinda went off the idea that i was nuni's imaginary friend for a while but we dont know for sure,,.,, it was some time around 2017ish from what we can tell!!! i split as an introject of an animation memer actually (animation memes were our LIFEEE BACK THEN) but i am COMPLETELY MY OWN PERSON NOW!!!

dire came around somewhere around the same time ,,, he split as a secondary protector n comforter of sorts!! he has gone thru many iterations and has multiple introject sources cuz he rly just took the form of who/what was the best comfort source 4 us at the time!! he started as an oc introject tho n thats still vry important to his identity :3 later he ended up as the form of a character who was german and had a german accent and that has had a lasting impact on his voice as well!!! i could ramble abt dire 4ever hes so silly we love him

next was reffy!!! reffy was split on november 27th 2019!!! this is the day we joined a danganronpa rp WRHKSDFGH discord server n met our bfff <33 we didnt rly have friends at the time and were generally struggling with social things,, so jax kinda put all of his traits he deemed most "likeable" in2 reffy and created him to be the ideal version of himself that ppl would like and went dormant for a whileee ,,, it took reffy a while 2 properly develop as a person but he is vry important to our system cuz of what he represents!!! we celebrate his birthday every year too :33

soo for a while it was just us 5!! we thought we had other alters sometimes cuz identity is wacky (plus we r like all made up of fragments tbhh)

then august of last year driell split!!! he was made on purpose (by jax AGAAAAINNNN) cuz him & his bf in our partner sys decided 2 have kids!!! he doesnt front vry much cuz hes rly socially awkward and a lot of our daily life requires TALKING TO PPL but we want him to front more D:

and THENNNN early this year we went thru ,... EVENTS!!!! and it kinda threw our whole system function OUT THE WINDOWWW BUT ITS OKAY!!!!

noxious split as a direct response 2 the Event .,, it started as a reffy clone tbh (we were actually planning 2 integrate them at first) but its slowly developing its own identity totally separate!! it fronted a lot in september and made a lotta progress w that :D sily dog creechur

fen has been around 4 a while but she was a "sub alter" to reffy and went by reffen but a few months ago we had a think and went HMMMM U KNOW. ACTUALLY SHE IS LIKE THEIR WHOLE OTHER PERSON SHE IS NOT A SUB ALTER ANYMORE!!! so we let them split off completely n its been better for both them and reffy !!!!

AND LASTLYYYY ZANE!!! he split on november 9th of this year!!! so some prior context jax is made up of a TONN of fragments just cuz of how his trauma holding function works. but he doesnt rly like splitting any of them off cuz hes . WEIRD. but we went to an emo night party and one of the fragments in him had a WHOLE AWAKENING listening to mcr and fallout boy and getting drunk in the moshpit (more context jax refuses to listen 2 anything but green day cuz HES!!! WEIRD!!!!) and it took like 3 days of internal deliberation but jax FINALLY DECIDED to let him be his own person!!!! and hes very happy that way X)

SOOO UM. YEA!!!! THAT IS A HUGE ESSAY!!!!! I HOPE THAT IS NOT TOO MUCH INFORMATION EHFKFJGHE

here r refs of us/what we look like cuz yes :33

height chart is from like march ish ??? so our recent splits his year r not included in it also zane doesnt have a proper ref OOOPSS (hes 6'1" btw) whatever its fine XD

THANK U FOR ASKING AND LISTENING TO MY SILLY GOOFY RAMBLES I GET VERY EXCITED TALKING ABOUT MY SYSTEM RAAAA ‼️ more asks r always welcomed too heheheee /nf

- 🖤