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hhjs · 4 years

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the art of losing isn't hard to master. (though it may look; like disaster).

pairing. ⤳ bang chan x reader.

genre. ⤳ angst.

alternatively. ⤳ a mystery trope. :3

word count ⤳ 2.07k

note ⤳ sorry for the long title hah. this is inspired by jaurim's song 'twenty five, twenty one.' and the title is a quotation from elizabeth bishop's poem 'one art'.

"I don’t want to see you again."

Chan knows you don't mean it, not even one bit. From the way the sentence comes out all shaky, the way you're pretending to stare off into space in sudden contemplation when really you just didn't want him to see you tear up.

But it still hurts.

It hurts so much that he almost regrets breaking up with you, finds himself wanting to take the words back as swiftly as he'd uttered them in the intimate setting of your favourite café.

Almost. If he says something now, he can taken it all back. Just one word. An explanation. And he can gone back to basking in the warmth of your affection in that selfish manner that he always did.

He doesn't, though, he can't.

Not when he was starting to notice just how absorbed you were becoming with your relationship, minimising your own priorities to make sure the bond lasted, giving up applying to your dream college because it meant you'd be moving away from him.

Sure, it sounded like some heroic bullshit sacrifice in his head, like something infuriating drama protagonists do - but there was not a speck of doubt in him pertaining to the department of seeing you happy.

Even if it had come to this.

Even if losing you was the expense he had to incur to get you to love yourself more than you loved him.

Chan, however, doesn't tell you that. Knowing how stubborn you are, you'll certainly not let go without a fight.

It's easier this way, he thinks, if instead he says he can't do it anymore - and lets you believe it.

"Okay." He says, finally finding his voice and these words, he really means it, "Anything for you."

...

It's the sheer irony that baffles him.

There was a time when Minho used to mock Chan about keeping blind faith in settling down with you, pointing out that, even if it was through harmless banter, it was an absurd thing to want out of a highschool sweetheart.

And the former is also the first one to stop beating about the bush, to tell it as it is, "You're a fucking asshole." Minho says, plopping down beside him. He sounds more disappointed than angry.

A movie plays on before the pair and Minho wastes no time in stuffing his face with popcorn, flaunting that he had no intention of explaining his comment, as if it is just that obvious.

Chan remains silent, baffled by the fact that this the first time he's on the receiving end. He usually acts as the one who dishes out words of wisdom and scoldings when necessary.

When he heard you were going away for college just the next morning, he was both ecstatic and horrified. Ecstatic because things were going according to plan. Horrified because that meant he wouldn't be seeing you at all, even if chancing upon you had grown obviously less frequent than it had been when you were together. It meant he wouldn't find you lounging absently at a local café while your eye brows furrowed, fixated on a particular page, it meant that there would be no accidental brushing of shoulders when you'd end up going to Jisung's parties, it would mean completely falling off of your radar.

However, Minho's outburst acted as a vague consolation, albeit he understood it was wrong, it indicated that you weren't doing well either, it indicated that you missed him like he missed you, it meant that you still loved him.

The idea of forever and always had been embedded in his ideology too deeply to apply reason.

He is always going to love you, you are always going to love him. He knows that much. He believes that much.

That alone is enough. That has always been enough.

...

It's too early in the morning and he is positive that this is an abysmal decision.

But the little care he had for rationality, always in your department was not new.

You push a suit case out of the door, there is an Uber waiting, the sound of rain hitting pavement is at such great volume that he can hardly hear his rapid footsteps.

When you crane your neck his direction, Chan stops walking further, but he is too near to go unnoticed.

"W-What are you doing here?" The question comes from you. He notes that you almost sound...hopeful. Like you would go right back in and snuggle into the comfort of your covers if he asked, like you'd forgive him if he asked, like you'd love him despite the distance that'd keep you apart if he asked.

Chan doesn't ask.

"I just... wanted to see you off." He lies, it's taking a whole lot of self restraint to not go up to you to engulf you in his bone crushing hugs, to uproot you off of the security of your toes. He only seems to stare, feigning nonchalance.

The I'm sorry, the truth, sits atop the tip of his tongue and he inwardly promises that he'll tell you someday.

...

Chan doesn't, of course, anticipate this.

When he finally conjures up the courage to send you a follow request after bashfully asking for your username and twiddling his thumbs over your Instagram icon, the acceptance and follow back request notifications almost reduces him to a giddy child who was allowed to watch cartoons way past their bedtime. The unanticipated pleasure that comes with getting something you had no expectations whatsoever of getting.

What is more shocking, he notes, is just how much your life has changed;

or at least, seems to have changed.

There are endless photos, shots of bright neon tones of a typical college party where you're holding up a solo cup to the air and grinning big enough that your eyes are closed, Chan smiles at this.

His enjoyment is, although, quite transient when another pop up in his notification bar reminds him that you've made your most recent post just a few seconds prior.

Curiously, Chan scrolls upwards, careful not to accidentally like any old photos.

This picture is different, the premise is a concert of some sort, he can tell from the banners, the condensed congregations of people around you, mouths awkwardly paused in uttering lyrics - the disturbing part, is the long, bleached blonde stranger behind you, his gangly arms looped over your chest, your back pressed against his front, while his chin is propped up onto the gap between your neck and shoulder. There is no caption.

You look the happiest here. He knows this. The familiar childish glow of your face whenever he'd crack a dumb pun was etched vividly into his memory.

Uncharacteristically, Chan finds himself putting down the phone on the table so Jisung would notice and elaborate without him asking.

And his endeavour is satisfied, "Oh, that's Hyunjin." Jisung explains, before rolling his eyes when Chan kept looking at him to say more, "They're just friends."

It’s only when Chan lets his breath go, does he realise that he was holding it all along.

...

"Long time, eh?" You smile at him, it's an easy, carefree smile, not the tight lipped ones you'd shoot his way weeks after the breakup. That elicits a weird feeling in Chan, he wants to understand why, know what brought this change.

Were you just that happy to see him? Did you remember that your first date was also on a New Year's Day, just like today? Or was he just lingering in the past, all alone?

Even though Hyunjin's invitation to the party was a nuisance, his delayed presence sparked a hopeful event for Chan, now that you were home for the holidays, he needed a proper chance to finally tell you all that he was holding back and do anything, everything to make up for it.

He imagined all the stories from those photos on your feed, musing over your brief conversations through DMs but back in his room, with a blanket pulled to your chin, while he threw a free leg around your waist.

Chan nods slowly, rummaging through the snack shelves. "Yeah. I can't believe it's been a year already." He prepares a mental conversation in his head as he finally secures a bag of Lays.

You smile slowly, looking down at your chipped nails, "Me neither."

In the living room, a loud pop song is playing, the two of you divorced from everyone, a countdown almost commencing.

From behind the kitchen counter, Chan opens his mouth to ask you about something but can't remember what, the last ten seconds rolling to ten, nine, eight, seven -

"I've been looking everywhere for you." A foreign voice comes but the stranger, on the contrary, is not unrecognisable.

His hair is the same long blonde, he's tall, his eyes are hooded but bright with kiddish excitement, his mouth naturally pouted. And when he says this sentence to you, your face, almost immediately, lights up.

The dramatic exclamation is exaggerated with sets of long flailing arms, Chan wants to roll his eyes at the cheesiness, had it not made you laugh.

You only get to turn your body partially before Hyunjin walks over to your position, he cups your face with one hand and the other traverses to the curve of your waist, pulling you flush against him. It's as if you've completely forgotten about him, as if you're the only two people in the world and Chan, a wistful member of the audience merely permitted to have the luxury to watch.

It is then that Chan realises that Jisung was definitely misinformed. Friends don't do this, friends don't look at each other like this. six, five, four, (But he can't look away, can't look away because he has to face the music, bite the bullet, to accept it for what it is. The spectacle is only but a morbid reminder of how taking people for granted always proves to be fruitless.)

Three, two, one,

"Happy New Year." Hyunjin's mouth moves with brief soundless words, he looks like the happiest man in the world and there's not a doubt he is, with you...

And when he kisses you like that, it's anything but perfect, he keeps grinning against your mouth like he can't believe this is happening.

The lonesome spectator senses himself thinking that you've never looked a fraction of happy with him as you do with Hyunjin.

Every sound falls back into muteness, all but the ringing in Chan's ears. Every planned syllable deems his tongue to a limping, incoherent mess. He bites it down.

All Chan understands is -

there is no going back from this.

..."You know I never told you." You hold up your fingers to his face, there's a giant indent of a wedding ring against the skin. The ornament catches light and glints.

Chan hums, finding that he was just as enamoured with your smile. After all this time. "Told me what?" He asks, eyes flitting behind your head to see Hyunjin picking out your favourite drink in a memorised fashion, a matching accessory banded around his finger as he points to a menu displayed above. It's only a matter of minutes.

You giggle, as though it's the silliest thing in entire the universe, the equivalent of admitting you used to believe you'd grow a tree inside your tummy if you swallowed apple seeds, "This is going to sound stupid."

You look downright embarrassed when you press your palms against your face and gaze at him through the gaps of your fingers, then rest them back on the table, "Don't get me wrong..like, of course it hurt, at first. And I was so angry at you..." you chuckle, embarrassed, " But if we never broke up, I can't imagine where I'd be right now...if it wasn't for you I don't think I'd be the person I am today." You explain lightheartedly, it's time and familiarity that makes bringing this topic up so easy. Like it means nothing at all. "So I guess I just wanted to say...thanks?"

Chan smiles, a genuine smile, even if it has a melancholic quality to it, all he ever wanted...really was for you to be happy. And you are. Most certainly.

So he doesn't tell you more, doesn't tell you about almosts and rain hitting pavements and forever and always.

But he reaches out and pats your knuckles and says - because he means it the same still, "Anything for you."

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lost-in-the-80s · 4 years

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You Don’t Want My Love - Chapter 3

Pairing: Duff McKagan x reader

Words: 3,786k

Summary: Guns n Roses hires a new tour assistant, but nobody thought that Duff would fall for her.

In this chapter: Erin’s arrival on the tour turns the band upside down. Y/N hadn’t realized how much she needed a friend until she had her to talk to. Y/N and Slash go to an arcade.

A/N: 1- I was struggling with this chapter, so sorry if it’s shitty.

2- I was thinking about making a playlist inspired by this fic, do you guys want it? If so, let me know!

3- Also, reminding you that I’m posting a new chapter every Tuesday.

Tag list: @roger-taylors-car @ladieswttda @teasid @metalheartofgold @slashscowboyboots @ginny-rose-sixx @rumoured-whispers @vinylvintage add yourself to my tag list :)

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After Tom’s departure Y/N couldn’t avoid feeling a little lost, she’d grown used to him instructing her and she missed his participation at the silent book club. It wasn’t a club though, just the two of them, sitting backstage reading without saying anything.

The only good part about Tom leaving was that she finally got his bunk. It felt weird during the first night, to sleep somewhere that wasn’t the couch, but as soon as she fell asleep her body got used to it.

Duff was on the bunk on top of hers, as she was a light sleeper she would hear him mumbling some things while he was sleeping. He moved a lot also, which would usually wake her up, but she didn’t really mind.

It had been a week since Tom left and the things with the boys were starting to get back to normal. Duff helped her get more along with them, inviting her to play cards with the boys one night and asking about her opinion in random conversations, just so she could participate.

The two of them had grown quite close during this week, he was a nice guy, she could tell that. He always asked her to join them wherever they were going and even helped her with some of her duties when he had some free time.

And that was quite the problem. She liked his company, he was easy to talk to, and when there wasn’t a subject he would ask for her opinion on the books she was reading. He was a sweet boy. Too sweet to say the truth, and she was starting to want to be around him. But she shouldn’t.

Duff was from a completely different world, the two of them were complete opposites and the only reason why he was spending time with her was because he had no one else to. She knew that as soon as the tour ended she wouldn’t ever see him again, so she didn’t want to become too close to him.

She and Steven were back to normal, he never acted like that again and Izzy, well, Izzy was a hard person to read, he had never been rude to her, but they didn’t really talk. She didn’t take that personally though, he didn’t really talk to anyone.

Things with Axl remained the same, he hadn’t talked to her for eight days and counting, sometimes, she would laugh at one of Duff’s jokes and he would give her a death glare, but she tried to ignore.

Slash was another story. She talked to him, but just the necessary, she was still upset about what had happened during the party and expected him to apologize, but as the days passed, the less probable it got for him to do so.

In that morning, she woke up before the boys, and after doing her routine and checking up her agenda she realized that they would reach the next city around ten in the morning.

Talking to the bus driver, he informed her that they would stop for breakfast in thirty minutes, which allowed her to do her favorite part of the job.

Getting inside the bedroom area she turned on the lights while saying loud enough for all of them to hear.

“Good morning, princesses! It’s 7 in the morning and we’ll make a stop for breakfast in thirty, so move your asses out of the bed and get ready!”

Leaning against the wall opening, she saw Axl exiting his bunk, his hair was a mess as he slowly walked towards the bathroom while rubbing his eyes.

The second to wake up was Steven, just like her, he was a morning person. He got up quickly, putting a white tank top on before giving her a huge smile. “Good morning, Y/N!”

“Good morning, Steve!” She smiled back.

As soon as Axl left the bathroom and Steven got in, Izzy plopped on the ground beside her, he was dressed in just his underwear, which made her look in the opposite direction. However, she did notice the dark circles underneath his eyes and the remains of the hickeys Cheryl had left on his chest.

Cheryl had decided to accompany another band last Saturday, hugging Y/N tightly and telling her to call when she opened her boutique before leaving.

As per usual, Slash and Duff didn’t get up.

Getting close to Slash’s bunk she touched his shoulder slightly. “Slash! wake up!”

He mumbled in response and so she moved to Duff’s.

“Duff, time to get up!” Her head was at his bunk’s level.

He moved slightly before opening his eyes, focusing directly on hers. A small smile appeared on his face.

“Good morning, Y/N.” His voice was husky due to his sleepiness and for an odd reason, her heart started beating twice as fast.

“Good morning, Duff.” She smiled sweetly before walking out of the room.

Sitting on the couch, she grabbed a Vogue magazine and waited until the boys got ready. As the minutes passed by, all of them joined her in the living room, except for Axl, who was, as always, late.

When the bus came to a stop and they got up to exit Axl finally showed up, she, Axl and Duff were the only remaining people on the bus and she stopped to let him go first, he was already hating her, she didn’t want to give him one more reason to.

“You can go first!” He gestured with his hand for her to pass.

She looked at him waiting to see if he was being sarcastic, but the smile on his face told her that he was in a good mood. Strange, she thought while she exited the bus.

The bright morning sun hit her skin and she stopped for a while, allowing the warm feeling to take a hold of her. Starting to feel as if someone was watching her, she turned around, finding Duff walking slowly towards the snack bar.

“He spends eight days without talking to me and then he suddenly decides he’s ok with my presence!” She scoffed while joining Duff.

“Erin is coming, so he’s in a good mood.” He looked down at her.

“Who’s Erin?”

“His girlfriend.” He opened the door for her to get in first.

“But he was hitting on me when I arrived.” She frowned.

“Oh, that! He was only joking that night.” Duff smiled at her, letting a small chuckle escape.

She and Duff sat beside Steven, in front of Axl and Izzy, Slash being to her right.

When the waitress arrived, she started making the orders, a month with them had been enough time for her to know that they had certain habits.

Izzy would always ask for a black coffee and a pack of cigarettes in the morning, while Steven would ask for pancakes. Slash and Axl liked scrambled eggs with coffee and Duff would usually eat pancakes with Steven.

After asking for the food, she took a pack of cigarettes out of her purse, giving it to Izzy.

“Thank you!” He smiled at her. “You know, I didn’t expect much from you Y/N, but your efficiency is something to be recognized!”

The compliment made her smile. “Thanks.”

As soon as the food arrived they started eating while making small talk.

“These scrambled eggs remind me of my grandma ones!” Sash smiled, “You guys wanna try it?” He extended the plate for the rest of them.

Steven got some for himself, while Izzy simply shook his head.

“Want some, Y/N?”

“No, Thank you.” She replied while looking at her plate.

She didn’t see Slash frowning when he looked at Izzy as if asking if he had done something wrong, to which he shrugged.

---

Back at the bus, she focused on her reading while Steven put some cartoons on the TV.

Sitting in front of her, Slash spoke up.

"Did I do something you didn't like, Y/N?"

She stared at him for a couple of seconds. How could he not remember? She thought.

Taking a deep breath, she closed the magazine. "Actually, you did."

He stopped for a second as if he was trying to remember. "What was it?"

"You seriously don't remember?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "...No?"

They all started to stare at the two of them. Even Axl, who was expecting to see a fight. He had seen what had happened that night, but he thought Slash remembered.

"You tried to kiss me that night at the party."

"Wha-... Whe-... Oh shit, was that you?"

She nodded as a response.

Axl and Steven started laughing, Slash's face was full of confusion and embarrassment.

"Wait! She's the hot chick who you were complaining about?" Duff interjected, making fake quotation marks with his fingers.

Slash's face got hot and he thanked that his hair covered most of it.

The boys started laughing harder, even Izzy joined them.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry, Y/N! I swear I didn't recognize you, I wouldn't ever have done that to you!" He rubbed his forehead and his embarrassment was enough to make Y/N realize that he was telling the truth.

"I'm so so sorry!"

"It's ok, just don't make it happen again!" She pointed a finger at him.

"Sure, sure! You have my word!"

---

After two more hours on the bus, they finally arrived at the hotel. They were in New York, and their hotel was huge, the lobby itself making Y/N's last apartment look like a shoebox.

She walked towards the receptionist and stopped in her tracks when she heard a high pitched scream. Turning around she saw a girl with reddish-brown hair running towards Axl, who embraced her tightly.

She was wearing white denim pants and a black tank top and seemed to be taller than Y/N. Brushing it off she went back to work, making the boys’ check-in. But she couldn't deny that she found the scene cute.

When she was giving the boys their keys, Axl stopped her to make presentations.

"Erin, this is Y/N, our assistant. Y/N, this is my beautiful girlfriend Erin." He was smiling again.

She looked at the girl, finding her smiling while extending her hand towards Y/N, who shook it, smiling a little.

"Nice to meet you!"

"I'm glad I'll have some female company around here!" Erin said, smiling harder.

If she smiles more, her cheeks will start aching. Y/N thought to herself.

"What do we have for today, Y/N?" Axl asked.

"Soundcheck at 2, interview at the arena at 4:30 and the Gig at 7."

"Sorry, doll, I won't be able to go with you." He turned towards Erin.

"But you promised me we would go shopping in New York!"

"I can't, babe, I’m sorry."

She looked around and a smile appeared on her lips.

"Can I take Y/N with me then?"

Y/N looked up from her agenda. "Me?" Her eyes slightly widened.

"What if we need her?" Axl said.

"Let the girl go, we can survive without her for a day!" Izzy said, patting Y/N's shoulder before heading to the elevator.

"Do you wanna go, Y/N?" Axl asked.

"I could use some shopping." She smiled.

Erin made a happy sound before hugging her. "We're gonna be best friends!!"

The action made Y/N laugh while hugging her back.

She was going shopping? In New York? She couldn’t believe it!

Once in her room, she took her time making a quick happy dance before quickly changing her clothes for a pink dress and some white high-heels, finalizing her outfit with some sunglasses.

Getting at the lobby, Erin intertwined her arm with hers and so the two of them got in a taxi and drove towards downtown.

The girls entered a store, starting to try clothes.

“What do you think?” Y/N asked, showing Erin a short black skirt.

“Wow! You look fierce!”

Y/N smiled, turning around to look at herself in the mirror again.

“But it’s a little bit short on you, sweetie, if you want I can get you a bigger size.” The saleswoman said while looking Y/N up and down.

Y/N checked the skirt in the mirror again, it was definitely short, but she liked it.

“Who cares if it’s short?” She asked, shrugging.

“If I was into girls, I’d definitely bang you!” Erin said laughing.

The woman’s eyes widened while she turned around leaving the two alone.

“I hate it when they keep giving opinions.”

“Uhh, me too!” Erin rolled her eyes. “Are you hungry? ‘cause I feel like my stomach is going to eat me!”

Y/N laughed. “I am!”

“Let’s go eat something then! it’s already 4 pm.”

“Really? Wow, time flew!”

Getting near the store cashier Y/N started to get worried, she had picked lots of clothes by impulse and now she was worried that she wouldn’t be able to pay for all of this.

“Should I charge everything together or separately?” The woman asked when they put the clothes on the counter.

“Se-” Before she could finish, Erin interrupted.

“All together!” She handed her the credit card.

Erin looked at Y/N and saw the confused expression on her face.

“Axl gave me the band’s card, he said I should pay for your clothes since you keep up with him every day.” She giggled slightly.

“So turns out he’s not that much of an asshole!” Y/N smirked.

Erin nudged her. “He’s not an asshole, he’s just…. just…”

“Temperamental?” Y/N laughed.

“Sensitive!” Erin replied, but laughed along.

After getting their bags, the girls walked side to side towards a beautiful café, where they ordered cake and tea, sitting at a table on the sidewalk.

“So, where are you from, Y/N?” Erin asked when they finished eating.

“North Dakota”

“Wow, and how did you end in LA?”

“I got a scholarship at UCLA.”

“Really? That’s awesome! And what course did you take?”

“Fashion. I wanted to be a fashion designer.”

“Oh, that explains a lot.” She mumbled before taking a sip of her tea.

“What do you mean?” Y/N leaned against her chair.

“Nothing, it’s just that, the boys get the feeling that you don’t like working here.”

Y/N frowned, but Erin kept talking before she could say anything.

“It’s like, you’re efficient, and you do the job perfectly, but you don’t seem to be enjoying yourself, it’s almost as if it was an obligation for you.”

Y/N stopped to think. “It’s just that, I had so many dreams, and none of them happened, and I’m feeling frustrated you know? I wanted to accomplish many things, but life hit me with a bus.” She looked to her plate, sadness overtaking her.

“Hey, I get that! Sometimes things don’t go as planned.” Erin touched her hand, offering her a warm smile. “But try to see this by the bright side. Like, what are your biggest dreams?”

Taking a deep breath, she drank the remaining of her tea before answering. “I wanted to open my own boutique and I wanted to travel the world”

“Why are you saying I wanted? You can still do these things!” Getting closer to Y/N she moved the flowers in the center of the table away, trying to see her better. “You want a boutique right? If you use the money you get with the tour to invest, in three years you’ll have enough money to open it. My dad works with the stock exchange, I can ask him to give you some tips!”

“Really? Would you do that?”

“Sure!! And you said you wanted to travel the world, girl, what are you doing right now? Look around, you’re in New York, in a few months the boys will go to Europe, you are traveling the world.”

Wow. Y/N had never realized it. She was indeed living one of her dreams.

“I know that this wasn’t your dream job and that it must be really annoying to deal with the boys and stay for so long in that bus, but at least you’re not dealing with paperwork behind a desk.”

A smile started to form on Y/N’s lips. Erin was right, this was way better than paperwork. She could go to parties, dress whatever she wanted, stay at the best hotels and to be honest, she kind of liked being around the boys.

“Yeah! You’re right, Erin! This is not so bad!”

Erin nodded excitedly while drinking the rest of her tea.

“I think we should go back.” Y/N informed while checking the time on her wristwatch.

“Really? Can’t we stay for more? I wanted to go to more stores.” She pouted.

“I’m afraid not. Your boyfriend will freak out if nobody gets him his damn towels.” Y/N rolled her eyes, but giggled a little. “Speaking of it. What does he do with so many?”

Erin raised her hands in defense. “I have no idea.” She whispered while shaking her head.

---

The rest of the day went on by fine, Y/N helped the boys before and after the gig and collapsed on her bed when they got back to the hotel. So many hours walking in heels granted her a long and deep night of sleep.

She couldn’t avoid letting a small satisfied moan to escape from her lips when she got comfortable in bed. It’s so good to lay in a bed that doesn’t shake with the road. She thought, before falling asleep.

The next morning, Y/N woke up with her bedroom’s phone ringing.

“Yes?” Her voice was grog and she barely could open her eyes.

“Y/N, I want to ask for breakfast, but I don’t know how to use the hotel’s phone.” Steven’s voice filled her ears, he seemed to be hopeless.

She frowned while rubbing her eyes. “But, how did you call me then?”

He paused for a minute. “With the… phone…”

She laughed. “Hang the phone and then press 0, the receptionist will answer you.”

“Oh, ok. Thanks, Y/N!”

“It’s no problem, Steve.” She hanged the phone, laughing again.

Stretching up she saw it was 11 in the morning already. “Looks like I’ll have brunch!” She smiled, she loved brunch.

After taking a shower and putting on a pair of jeans with a red blouse, she left her room, asking for the receptionist where she could find a good restaurant nearby.

---

It was 6 o’clock now. She was in her room reading, her legs rested on the bed’s headboard while she laid upside down. A knock on her door took her away from the romance she was currently addicted to.

Opening the door she found Slash leaning against her door frame.

“What are you up to?” He asked casually.

“Just reading.” She pointed towards the book with her thumb.

“Put a jacket, let’s go out!”

“What? To where?”

“There’s an arcade nearby.” He put his hands in his pant’s front pockets.

“Hmm, I don’t know…”

“Come on, everybody is out for dinner, we’re the only ones who stayed.”

Her lips turned into a thin line as she tried to think.

“Come on, it’s gonna be fun! You can read some other time!”

“Fine! Give me 5 minutes!” She closed the door on his face, before rushing to find her new denim jacket she had bought the day before.

Applying some mascara and a nude lipstick she got her purse and exited the room.

When they got on the street, Slash spoke up.

“Once again, I’m sorry about the party! It won’t happen again!”

“It’s ok!” She assured him with a small smile.

Entering the arcade a red light covered their skins, Tears for Fears played in the background and she smiled, she loved them.

“What do you wanna do first?” Slash asked after they got the tickets.

She shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s my first time!”

“Oh, so you’re having your first time with me?” He tried to smirk, but ended laughing.

She playfully slapped his arm while laughing. “Idiot!”

“Ok, pinball it is!” He yelled.

Slash taught her how to play and started complaining when her punctuation became bigger than his. “This is not possible! You’ve played it before!”

“I haven't, I swear!” She put her hand at her heart.

They went on with the night, playing many different games. When they passed by Dance Dance Revolution she stopped in her tracks.

“Oh my gosh! Let’s do this one! Please!”

“What? No way!” He started walking towards another game.

“Come on, you’re owing me after the party!”

“I’m disappointed you’re this type of person, Y/N.” He touched his chest, pretending that she had hurt him.

“Please!” She laughed at his drama.

“Ok, but I’m just watching, no way I’ll play this.”

She shrugged. “As long as you hold my purse!”

Choosing Walking On Sunshine by Katrina & The Waves she started dancing, stepping on the lights with mastery.

Her heart filled with happiness, she loved to dance, and she missed doing it more often.

“Wow! Great score!” Slash congratulated her when stepped out of the game.

“Thanks.”

He was leaning against another game table, looking into her purse, her small mirror was in one of his hands. “How do you manage to put so many things here?”

She got the mirror from his hand along with her purse, while shaking her head at him.

“You lied.”

“Me!?” She scoffed.

“You said you had never been to an arcade, but you destroyed that game!”

“It’s the truth. I had never played that.” They started walking towards the exit.

“How did you do so good then?”

“I was a cheerleader, I know how to dance.” They stopped, getting their jackets.

“A cheerleader huh?” They entered the empty streets and Slash lit up a cigarette.

She shrugged while making a bun with her hair.

They entered the hotel and got in the elevator.

“You know, for someone who listens to ABBA, you’re nice.” He teased her while smiling.

She rolled her eyes. “For someone who wears a shirt saying ‘I’m a slut’, you’re nice.”

They laughed. The doors opened and they started walking through the corridors.

“This is my room.” She pointed stopping.

“Yeah, I know. It was nice hanging out with you!” He stopped on the other side of the corridor, in front of his door.

She nodded. “I can say the same.”

“Good night, cheerleader!” He said smiling, before entering his room and closing his door.

She rolled her eyes and entered her room. Something inside her head told her that they’d be good friends.

#harley writes #you don't want my love #duff mckagan #duff mckagan fic #duff mckagan fanfic #duff mckagan imagine #duff mckagan x reader #guns n roses #guns n roses fanfic #guns n roses fic #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses x reader #gnr #classic rock imagine

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juliancaesarblanco · 3 years

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Julian Caesar Blanco | Roleplay Resources of Shakespeare

When I coach clients on Shakespeare my students often question me. "Where can Julian Caesar Blanco find information on what a selected word means in a very monologue?"

Or they'll inform me, "I read that I didn't comprehend it. Is there somewhere I could find a synopsis?" Below are some indispensable resources that may facilitate your understanding of a personality or play moreover as breakdown a monologue:

Shakespeare Lexicon and Quotation Dictionary. This resource comes in two volumes and contains a definition of all the words and phrases that Shakespeare wrote.

It's a useful resource for uncovering exactly what Shakespeare meant word for word. as an example, you're functioning on Lady Anne from King of Great Britain and you would like to appear up the word "avaunt" within the line:

"Avaunt, thou dreadful minister of hell!"

You will find the word "avaunt" within the Lexicon and an inventory of each single time Shakespeare wrote the word "avaunt" and exactly what he intended in each instance!

Shakespeare: The Invention of the Human. this is often a masterful book by scholar Harold Bloom, during which he argues that Shakespeare essentially invented the concept of character in literature.

The book focuses not on Shakespeare's language or poetry, but on the characters he created. I find it a valuable resource when auditioning for or playing Shakespeare's iconic roles.

It is vital to bring your ideas to an element, but this helps you to begin from an informed and grounded place.

Shakespeare A-Z. This huge volume could be a compendium of everything Shakespeare. It includes detailed synopses of every single one among Shakespeare's plays, breakdowns of all of Bard's characters, and short biographies on the historical figures on whom a number of them were based.

It also includes blurbs about actors who achieved fame in Shakespeare's day, further as information about Shakespeare's contemporaries, and descriptions of locations that are important to his plays.

This is often perhaps the foremost exhaustive Shakespearean resource and truly lives up to its title.

Year of the King. this is often one of my favorite books on the art of acting. This slim volume recounts Anthony Sher's transformation into the role of King of Great Britain.

It's an actor's diary, stuffed with drawings that he created of himself because of the infamous ruler. He goes into detail on how he researched the role in addition to personal experiences on working with the Royal Shakespeare Company.

It gives great insight into Sher's acting process. Perhaps most inspiring is Sher's depth of commitment and obvious love for the craft.

The Art of Shakespeare's Sonnets. an attractive volume written by scholar Helen Vendler on Shakespeare's poetry devotes a chapter to each one in all Shakespeare's sonnets.

It lays out each sonnet with the first text next to the trendy translation. This book sheds new light on the shape and content of each of those beautiful poems.

There are zillions of books dedicated to the scholarship of the playwright. But these five are an imperative part of any young actor's library. Did I miss any of your favorites? Let me know in the comments!

I offer one-on-one coaching in a very supportive and holistically minded environment that encourages students to become more fearless actors and public speakers.

Julian Caesar Blanco is smitten by the craft of acting and is raring to assist you to realize your full potential. He uses holistic strategies to urge you to feel empowered and connected to your creativity.

#Julian Caesar Blanco #Roleplay #HistoryRoleplay #California #Drama #United States #Play #Shakespeare #Roleplay Resources

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hecohansen31 · 5 years

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Fire Of My Loins

Trevor KIrchner+Younger Margaret’s Sister! Reader:

(A/N): Hello, lovelies!

Before you extract your knives to fight me… just know that I am working on “More Than You Bargained For” (2), which will be named “More Than You Can Give Me” (these shits are getting longer than Fall Out Boy’s titles).

But while I was working on it, I ended up not being truly able to focus on it (I still can’t), and this fic low key helped me a bit!

I STILL HATE TREVOR WITH ALL MY GUTS (and haven’t seen 9x07, when I wrote this) but hey… he low key inspired me to write this, so I honestly couldn’t help but write this down, and I hope it won’t be too much!

(Alongside the fact that “Lolita”, “Off The Races”, “Put Me In A Movie” by Lana del Rey have been on my youtube playlist since for-freaking-ever...).

Also the title is inspired by “Lolita” and it is nothing more than a quotation of a book that a truly appreciate for his writing style, which if you have read doesn’t glamorize any kind of relationship between an older man and a child, so please don’t make a shitstorm for that.

Reader in this case is an adult, since she is completely legal, being 22.

This was just a little disclaimer, because I know it might be controversial, and if anybody feels even slightly offended by it, just let me know!

Much love!

SUMMARY: It was supposed to be a “bright new start”, but apaprently it is much easier than it seems to go back to your previous life, mostly when your sister’s husband seems so attractive...

WORDS: 9 K.

WARNINGS:

Older! Man+Younger! Girl (Trevor according to me is either 36-40, meanwhile Reader is 22), Mention of Child Neglect and Domestic Abuse (alongside attempts of Sexual Assault), General Violence and Use of Drugs, Daddy Issues, Seducing an Older! Man, Mention of Reader’s past as a sex worker, Fingering and Oral Sex (Male-Female Receiving), PTSD, Nudity.Vulgarities.

Being Margaret Booth’s sister wasn’t an easy thing.

The big age gape had made you always take a deep distance from the other, but honestly the more they went on, the more she didn’t want to be associated with that psycho.

After Margaret’s traumatic experience at Camp Redwood, the first one, their parents’ attention had been all on her, not matter how much she cried or asked for it, as a small child in need of her parents’ help.

She remembered perfectly the night when her stomach had hurt terribly and she had cried till it had given her an headache, meanwhile her parents comforted her older sister from a nightmare, completely ignoring her, she had had to call the ambulance herself and at the hospital she had discovered her appendix had busted open.

When the social services had asked her why her parents hadn’t taken her themselves to the hospital, she had lied, not wanting to be separated by them and the silent abuse had perpetuated but the more she grew up the more she found herself to search the lacking attention, everywhere outside home.

Older men were her favorites: she had once fucked one and he had left her a good grand on the bedside table of the dirty motel they had met at, and she had felt that rush of adrenaline that got her to become an escort for older men.

They doted on her desperately and she was good at fucking and listening to them.

It might have seemed an ideal paradise, but it hadn’t lasted: any of the man she “doted” upon seemed to have a flaw.

Jack had gambling debts and whenever he would be with her, he would steal some of her money and she was unable to say anything.

Bill liked to snort coke off her body, and he had tried desperately to get her hooked up on it, no matter how many times she told him she wouldn’t ruin her pretty head for it.

Kent was the worst: he was the reason why she was going back to her sister’s house.

He was violent, but he was the lover she had loved the most, desperately letting him control every single aspect of her life, alongside quitting her escort career, to move with him and the first days were idyllic.

She had had the best 21st birthday party ever and the following day she was in hospital, avoiding brain damage just because the police had been alerted by the hosts of the party promptly.

Kent had tried to smash her head against the wall, after he had seen her “drunkenly flirting” with one of the guests.

She hadn’t been able to press charges but somehow Kent had never talked to her, and she was pretty sure it was all due to Margaret, who had chosen to take care of her, as the good Samaritan.

She didn’t understand this change of heart, so suddenly made by Margaret.

They had always had this cold distance and she knew perfectly that her Jesus-fearing sister didn’t approve of her life, promiscuous and disgusting as she thought it was.

But she had been there once she had woken up from the hospital and had helped her through the rehabilitation eventually asking her to move in with her.

“… I just feel so guilty for stealing your childhood, sweetie” she had commented, as if she knew half of the things she had gone through “… come home with me, little sister”.

She hadn’t been able to say no, since she usually relied totally on the met she met with and fucked, and without Kent she had no home and money, hence… she would have been homeless.

It was better to stay in her psycho-sister’s house than the open air.

She had come home with Margaret on the day they had dismissed her, although she hadn’t completely healed, since headaches and nightmares plagued her mind.

“Welcome home” uttered Margaret, opening the door for her and showing her an extremely elegant sitting room, extremely modern and distasteful, but what could she have expected?

“Thank you, Margaret, I would like to sleep a bit, so if you don’t mind, can you show me my room?” she honestly just wanted to move in her room, settle the few things she had owned in her small suitcase and then sleep a bit, but Margaret promptly grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks-

“Listen to me, little tramp” oh here comes the Jesus-fearing bitch, hadn’t she missed her “… if you want to live under my house, there are some few rules: you don’t bring your “dates” here, I won’t let you desecrate my temple!”.

It took all her strength not to laugh in her face, but she just smirked a bit, nodding softly.

“… you stick to your room and don’t go out unless I tell you to” and then Margaret grabbed her chin in her hands, tightening the grip enough that she found herself panicking a bit, making her remember Kent’s bruising hands “… don’t embarrass me more than you have already done… “.

And she immediately left her chin, pushing her slightly, after she brushed away imaginary dirt from her elegant clothes fixing them and her own smile, gently leaning down to kiss her sister’s cheek, before she moved away, calling over a maid to show her the way.

She had been able to take a quick shower, at least her room had a bath linked to it, since it seemed to be the smallest one, something that she honestly didn’t like, but she knew better than to ask her sister for more, mostly after the little “discourse” they had had.

She honestly needed to get a grip on her life, in order for her to move away as soon as she could.

She had worked through her teen years before her “career” took over, but she hadn’t been able to attend college, since not only it made her anxious and nervous, but also, she was addicted to those men’s attention and when she “fell” for them, she devoted herself to them.

What a shitty life, had she chosen?

She was brushing her hair to dry them, simply dressed in a cotton nightgown she had found on her bed, definitely more modest than the ones she had owned, but the color gave her some kind of innocent allure.

When she moved to drop the towel in the bathroom, she found the door opening, without knocking.

She immediately turned around, as a deer in the headlights, scared that it might have been Margaret, and annoyed by the thought that somebody wouldn’t respect her privacy.

But it wasn’t Margaret.

It was a man.

Even worse.

Her heart started beating roughly and she found herself holding her hand out towards the handle of the door of the bathroom thinking that if she rushed she might hide behind it, but the man, almost as if sensing her nervousness immediately, raised his hands, trying to show that he wasn’t a threat.

“You must be (Y/N)” he commented, his tone was nice and sweet, clearly trying to calm down “… Margaret’s sister”.

“You surprised me” she simply mumbled, not knowing who this stranger was and keeping her hand onto the handle onto the bathroom door.

“I should have knocked” he muttered, clearly seeing her trembling “… I am Trevor Kirchner, Margaret’s husband”.

Margaret had never mentioned a second husband, in her visits.

So, she was a bit suspicious, but with the way he moved and acted he seemed not to want to scare her, and she relaxed a bit.

“… Margaret never talked about you” she simply uttered, and pushed herself to sit onto the bed, moving towards the little bottle of lotion she had managed to sneak away from Kent’s house, the smell of honey and roses intoxicating and comforting for her.

She tried to act nonchalantly, calming softly her nerves with the usual gestures, and immediately Trevor’s gaze shifted onto her legs, where she was smearing the lotion, and this didn’t go unnoticed from her, who took this time to analyze him better.

He was certainly charming, although some of his charm seemed ruined, shadowed by life and with the way his arms and legs moved spasmodically she knew it was drugs, and she couldn’t help but pout a little.

She would have gladly fucked him, before Kent.

Maybe just to spite Margaret.

“… she never talked about you either, till a week ago” he replied sassily, moving his eyes way from your shiny legs, as you pushed your arms up, as with them slightly your breast showcasing them more, in an act of subtle seduction that got Trevor quite engrossed, although he tried not show it “… just wanted to meet you and say that you are welcome to stay as long as you like”.

“I am staying here till I get a grip on my life” she stated, but Trevor just smirked at you, as if he didn’t believe you, as if he had said something like that to himself “… can you leave me alone? I prefer to do my beauty routine all alone, without creepy men staring at me”.

Most of her first week at the Booth Manor had been passed in her room, joining Margaret and Trevor only for dinner, when she felt like it.

When she didn’t, she just didn’t eat.

But at the start of the second week she felt bit better and most importantly due to the warmth of that summer day and the sunny weather she had thought about a little dive in Margaret’s tacky pool, although she didn’t own a bikini.

She hadn’t wanted to ask her sister, mostly due to the fact that Margaret had treated her like she was invisible and because she knew what kind of bikini her sister owned: matronly to say the least.

In the end, she had dipped into the water in her nightgown, a cotton white, very simple in details and puffy on the “sensitive zones”, such as her stomach and her breasts, but as the water drenched her body, the fabric immediately attached itself to her body, revealing her skin.

She was enjoying a few breaststrokes in the water, when she heard a low whistle and realized that Trevor was leaning onto the swimming pool’s side, lounging onto it in a costume that showcased his “best attribute”.

She didn’t mind him any attention doing a few more laps around the pool, till she had enough, and another migraine hit her, making her quickly exit the pool, and reach out for her towel.

Which had been brought around herself with much care and when she opened her eyes, a bit comforted by the warm hug, she found Trevor gently helping her, and not looking at her almost naked body.

“Is everything alright, (Y/N)?” he asked, seriously worried and she promptly pushed away from him, quickly sitting on one of the sunbathing chair on the side of the pool, trying to regain a bit of composure.

“It’s just a headache, I strained myself today” she mumbled, meanwhile she adjusted her drenched hair and tried to stop her legs from trembling.

“Margaret said that you tend to have some headaches… can I do something about it?” he asked softly, and gently moving closer and she couldn’t help but wonder why he was like this.

He was certainly attracted to her: she had seen the way his stare lingered onto her, but he never dared, and she was sure it wasn’t out of respect or faithfulness to her sister.

She had heard them fight, and during those times her head would be hidden under the pillow, memory of Kent in her mind flashing and her tears rushing down.

“… just stop talking…” she uttered sharply, seeing Trevor’s mouth move onto a straight line, clearly displeased, before he moved away and entered the swimming pool, effectively leaving her alone.

An hour later she was back inside, but she was unable to stop watching Trevor from her window, the way he brushed his hair away wet and drenched and the way little drops of water caught fire in his skin as light hit them.

This would end badly.

By her third week with her sister, she understood perfectly why Margaret had brought her there.

She had thrown a party to celebrate some kind of business milestone and had paraded her sister as a rescue case, constantly getting praised for her good heart and kindness.

“Oh Margaret, you truly are a saint” they muttered, meanwhile she simply smiled behind her glass of champagne, hoping they could serve something heavier, just as Trevor did, whenever he would excuse himself to snort some coke, in his office.

Already, after only an hour since the charity event had started, she was damnably bored.

And wasn’t the only one.

The man she picked out was dressed elegantly, jeweled cufflinks, linking a sober attire that seemed the incarnation of purity and bigotry.

He wasn’t so chaste as she went down her knees and bobbed her head up and down around his length till his release stained her pretty red lips.

It was the little pick up she had needed, and she quickly turned towards the elegant marble sink to clean her face, but he quickly got ahold of her arm and pushed her to face him again.

She honestly didn’t find him in the slightest attractive anymore: his red face had a terrific smile and she felt dirty and used.

“Don’t expect me to let you go after you blew me as a pro, I bet that you fuck even better”.

Everything that Kent had done to her, before almost killing suddenly came back and her fought as the man tried to drag her back in the little bathroom cubicle, but he quickly shut her up, with one hand, meanwhile the other went between her legs, under her gown, hastily pushing down her panties.

He pumped himself a few times, but before he could penetrate her, some force rammed into him and he was pushed onto the ground and when her eyes finally focused, she realized it had been Trevor.

Almost ashamed, she rushed to push her panties back in place and adjust her dress, meanwhile the man screamed against Trevor.

She knew he would fucking judge her an whore.

“What the fuck, man?!”.

“She didn’t want you, Carl, you were fucking forcing yourself on her” he shot back, before picking up the little shit from the floor, and pushing him towards the exit, his pants still undone and his face red “… and if you so much as try to utter something, remember about that pre-nup with your wife… she’ll fucking ruin you, for having cheated on her”.

The man went immediately from red to white and before she knew it, he pushed himself back in control and exited hastily the bathroom, muttering something about “whores being fucking bitches”.

She rushed again to the sink, this time it wasn’t to check her lipstick, but she threw up into it, although she hadn’t eaten much, so nothing but liquid came out of her mouth, a truly disgusting show, but Trevor gently rubbed her back, holding back her hair, and uttering gentle encouragement.

He was nice enough to collect a bit of hygienic paper to clean her mouth, totally smearing her red lipstick, the only exception to Margaret’s modesty rule on her outfit, but effectively cleaning her up.

It was such a gentle gesture that it broke her.

“Get the fuck away from me” she ushered, slurring it as soon as she felt like she could walk away without her legs shaking “… leave me the fuck alone”.

Trevor sent her a bewildered look, one that told her that he didn’t understand her.

Well, he wasn’t the only one.

She had spent the following night, not sleeping just staring at the roof and crying.

Why was she like this?

Why did she feel this morbid need to screw somebody to feel better?

… and to push away anybody who was remotely gentle to her…

She didn’t join Margaret for breakfast, but she eventually went down the stairs to collect something to eat since her troubled stomach was grumbling loudly and she knew that death by starving was a bad look on her.

Not to talk about the fact that it would just take too long.

No, she needed something quick.

She caught Margaret on the threshold, with too many suitcases for a single person, and she immediately smirked as she saw her.

She was low key grateful that Trevor hadn’t uttered anything about catching her blowing some of their friends and then having a mental breakdown.

“.. this week I’ll be on a trip” she commented, cheerily “… the newest haunted house just ready for Halloween!”.

She faked being happy for her sister, before she turned to her mission, collecting something easy to eat, thinking about how she was stuck there with Trevor.

Had he ever cheated on her sister?

She hadn’t noticed any maid sneaking in and out of his “office” or any pretty young thing looking at him with malice.

Meanwhile she was thinking this, she heard knocking onto the kitchen’s walls, and when she turned around she saw Trevor looking at her as if he had found her a wounded animal, not knowing how to approach it.

But she was thankful he had knocked.

And pushed one of the sandwiches she had been doing towards him, a peace-offering.

“Oh no, sweetheart” he commented pushing it back to her “… you need to eat, you look like a scarecrow”.

This got him a playful fist to the side, which he faked had hurt him.

It was such a light moment that she honestly let out a laugh.

This seemed to take aback Trevor, as if he had heard the angelic voice of God.

“… by the way, since Margaret is not here I thought we could go out shopping” he mumbled, a bit shy, as if he was sure she would shoot down his idea “… you can’t go around with those nightgowns, and certainly can’t swim in them”.

She didn’t know why but the shyness in his voice intensified as he muttered the “nightgown” part gaining a smirk from her, and her hands gently traced the light patterns of her nightgown, indeed.

The cotton of it had brushed against her nipples enough to make them bloom in pebbles and she knew that he could see them, although he avoided to look straight up at her body.

“What is wrong with my nightgown?” she asked, feigning innocent, meanwhile he released a light laugh to hide his embarrassment.

“Just think about the heart-attack that we’ll give Margaret once she receives the notice of how much we spent”.

He didn’t have to say anymore.

She was used to men showing off her body, whenever she tried on clothes for them.

They didn’t want anything more than a quickie in the changing room and a pretty girl who smiled for them and wore pretty things.

But strangely with Trevor it was somehow fun: he constantly commented and made her wear the most absurd dresses, muttering about how much she looked ridiculous, just for her to do the same till the shopping clerks had enough of them and threw them out… kindly…

She hadn’t had this much fun… since ever.

They went to lunch to some fast-food place, something that got her to utter:

“Aren’t we supposed to be rich? We can do better than McDonald’s”.

Just for him to shot back as he stole some her fries:

“Is that sarcasm? Because I thought it was your usual tone”.

She just pouted a bit, kicking him under the table but he smirked, eating up his hamburger meanwhile she picked around her food, knowing she needed to speak up.

“… I am sorry for last night” she thought about ripping the band-aid immediately “… I don’t know what came onto me…”.

He stopped holding up a hand, to calm her rushing tone.

“It was the trauma, and I know about it…” he spoke as if it pained him to talk about this “…I was a survivor at Camp Redwood, one of the three alongside Margaret and Brooke”.

She knew that story all too well since Margaret didn’t lose any occasion to remind everybody about the fact that she had survived a camp murder spree not once but twice.

But Trevor, unlike her, seemed like he wanted to forget.

Hence the need for coke.

“… there are some things that make us feel that way and I am not going to judge you for that” he explained as if he got her and the way his eyes were shadowed, as if he was worried about something on his mind “… but if you ever need to talk…”.

“Margaret will pay me a good psychoanalyst” she replied, trying to shift the tense area that was created, although she shot a thankful smile on Trevor’s way, who moved onto slurping his drink.

“… that is the spirit” he commented but his tone was too serious “… if you have money, you can have anything”.

After lunch they were supposed to move away back home, mostly because she was again getting a migraine, but she was unable to stop herself from wanting to visit a bookstore again.

She hadn’t visited many, during her life with Kent, mostly segregated in the “trophy wife” role, so she couldn’t help but brush eagerly her hand through the papers, meanwhile Trevor had gone to the bathroom, asking her not to run away, in the meanwhile.

But she couldn’t help but move through the shelves checking out the newest releases and choosing a few to read meanwhile she looked out to the glasses outside the shop to check on Trevor, but she quickly become too engrossed on an illustrated version of “Little Women” by Louisa May Alcott, one of her favorite books.

She related to Jo on a personal level, remembering her all about the possible dreams she had had about becoming a journalist and a novelist, when she still thought that there was hope in the world.

She was so interested in the re-reading that she didn’t realize that Trevor who hadn’t found her outside. had gone in the bookshop and was gently shaking her, trying not to scare her.

“Hey, found anything interesting?” he asked, eyeing the book and she pushed it closed, immediately rushing to push it back on its original shelf, but Trevor stopped her, collecting the book and moving towards the cash desk, extracting his wallet “… you want to get only this one…”.

Clothes were one thing: she needed them, mostly if Margaret wanted to parade her as her personal corgi.

But books… books were something that made her almost nervous to be gifted, it was a window on her soul she couldn’t accept, and couldn’t let Trevor stare into, but he hadn’t seemed to mind, instead pushing Margaret’s card to the clerk, smirking gently at him.

When they walked away, she was holding a few more packages, Trevor carrying the rest, almost as if they were some kind of happy couple, finally coming back home.

It had been a truly good day, one of the first since she had opened eyes, and she made sure to say so to Trevor: she might still think that he was hiding her something, but she definitely couldn’t help but feel a bit soft around him.

“Thank you, it was a nice day” she thanked him, taking the little bag of books in her hands to try to hide her secret from him, and he smirked, gently caressing her face, and strangely she leaned herself into that simple touch.

“Don’t mention it, I have to say you are the funny sister” he giggled, and she found herself blushing.

“… you are the first one who ever thought this”.

The night she and Trevor had decided to treat themselves to a nice dinner outside in an expensive restaurant, mostly for her to try out the newest outfit she had bought big shoulder-pads with sequins and a tiny waist, giving the perfect hourglass figure, in a very fashionable style.

She almost looked like when she hanged onto older men’s arms, who showed her as if she was their newest Rolex.

She was almost expensive as one.

“… don’t you think that they will talk about this?” she asked, almost worried: she didn’t want her sister to kick her out because she was standing too close to her boytoy.

“Not if we leave the waiters a huge tip” he replied, making her smirk, meanwhile he helped her out of the car, gentlemanly giving her his arm to hold her close to him, meanwhile they strutted inside.

Dinner was nice, and she was used to this kind of elegant setting, falling back in her charming persona, after a good chalice of wine, which Trevor continued on pouring, insisting on the fact that it made her almost funny.

“… well it almost makes you handsome, so…”.

“Aren’t you supposed to be nice with family?” he retorted, meanwhile he played around with the food in his plate, almost as if he couldn’t focus on it, as she, instead, tried to cut perfectly what she had chosen, into tiny bites.

“Are you my family, Trevor Kirchner?” she replied, sending him a slight glance, under her eyes, almost teasing him.

“I married your sister, or did the wine already get to your head?” but his retort was stopped short, as her legs brushed against his, the silkiness of the stockings she wore against his elegant dress pants, making her laugh loudly at his stunned surprise “… yeah the wine got to your head”.

“Did Margaret tell you what I did before I come to you” she didn’t know if it was the wine talking or the fact that strangely she felt nice, almost comfortable with Trevor.

Alongside the fact that she wanted to fuck him desperately.

Before dinner she had spent a good hour igniting a soft fire in her most private parts, gently touching them and caressing her skin till she reached a lazy and aching orgasm, thinking about him doing it to her.

She couldn’t deny that no matter how much she tried she was attracted by him.

And without no inhibitions she just couldn’t stop her blabbering mouth.

“I got paid to sleep with men…” she linked their eyes together, and pushed her legs apart under the table “… but I had a type you see, I liked old men, older than boys, and they would pay me with nice things”.

“I didn’t know, (Y/N)” his voice was dark, definitely lower and aggressive, asking for more, almost desperately.

“… I liked it, I liked the attention, the gifts, the lavish lifestyle…” she continued, meanwhile she adjusted herself onto the chair, unable to sit straight “… but nobody fucking loved me, isn’t it such a horrible thing”.

“Sweetheart, you are…” Trevor seemed almost confused about what to do, she could feel that he was aroused, but also, he somehow had reigned himself back in control from the state he had gone in, after her confession, as if he pitied her.

“I don’t need your pity” she replied, harshly hissing through her teeth and quitting all her movements, instead reaching out for the wine glass, which Trevor took from her hands.

“I think it is enough” his tone was stern, and before she knew it, he was by her side, helping her up, although she protested, attracting quite the attention.

She seriously hoped the thing about tipping the waiters to keep them quiet was true.

He pushed her into the car, definitely with much more force than when he had helped her out, saying to the driver to rush them home and she immediately pushed herself away from him, almost burned from his sudden reaction.

“(Y/N)…” he tried to call her, but she kept on facing the window, looking out at the cold night, since it started raining and she pushed herself to look at the way the little droplets moved down the window of the car, letting it all lull you in a comfortable nap.

She was awoken by soft arms, pushing her into them, and when she opened her eyes, she found Trevor looking down at her, he seemed worried, but this time there was no pity, which made her wonder if there ever had been.

“… is your head hurting you?” he asked, treating her as if she hadn’t just confessed to him that she was a prostitute and that she had a thing for older men.

She shook her head, lightly pushing herself to bring him closer to her, tightening the grip onto his shoulder, finding comfort in that gentle contact and letting him lead her inside, cradling her closer to his chest and once they were inside he let her gently and softly down, holding her close, till he felt like she was steady again.

He then moved to leave her, but she tightened the grip onto his hand, bringing him back towards her and before she knew it her lips were onto his.

Her hand gently but steadily shifted onto his shirt, already opening the buttons she could slip an hand inside, meanwhile the other slung onto his neck, to bring him closer.

His hand shot up to her thin waist, caressing softly her hips, almost to gently reassure her to keep going.

A thunder shook them apart and realization shone in Trevor’s eyes and as she pushed him closer, he pushed her away.

“Babygirl, we can’t…” she didn’t even stay enough for him to finish.

It was always the same.

For the rest of the entire week she had avoided Trevor, as much as she could in a house in which they were all alone, except for the service maids, with whom she had developed some kind of strange friendship, to spite Trevor.

She spent most days off in her room reading and writing, mostly keeping a diary, but starting again with poetry, writing a few lines.

Even the silliest helped the confusion in her mind.

And they helped her mind going off the swift rejection she had received from Trevor still fresh and hurting.

She was low key glad when Margaret came back, although their first dinner was tense and she was more than happy to get away to the swimming pool, this time with a proper bikini, a red one, which fit her physique and as she dipped back in the water she finally felt like she was breathing freely, away from anything.

She emerged and found two brown eyes following her: Trevor.

She took her sweet time, with a few more laps, hoping he would be annoyed by the time she exited the pool, but suddenly she felt cold and to avoid getting a flu she immediately exited the pool, trying to avoid Trevor, but he quickly moved towards her.

“Can we talk, (Y/N)” he pleaded, but you simply covered yourself with your robe “… or are you going to continue to avoid me?”.

She turned around with violence, suddenly a frenzy anger taking over her.

“I am not the one who pushed away, firstly” she replied spitefully, pushing him away, with a shove of her shoulder, seeing his eyes brighten with surprise “… I am not the one who refused, I am only doing what you asked me to”.

“Would you let me explain?” he screamed, almost as if he was tired of this argument.

Oh, she had just started.

She surprised him again, gently pushing herself closer to him, their faces so close that their lips brushed again and her hateful eyes became slightly honey, in a deer-eyed expression of purity and want for him, her legs pushed themselves between his pants, completely touching his screaming manhood, wetting it even.

“… I don’t want you to explain” she replied, her voice pointing out each word “… I just want you to fuck me”.

And as she had moved closer to him, she moved away, quickly grabbing the towel she had brought with her, and moving lightly her hips to a non-existent music.

And like this she ran away from him.

It was a week later, when Margaret was away on her trips, that Trevor did the first move, knocking on her door, meanwhile she was finishing her latest poem, which she hid quickly under her pillows, worried that it might be Margaret who had come home earlier.

But again, it was just Trevor.

She didn’t want to say that their relationship had changed, although they had been both civil with each other more for Margaret’s pleasure than because they had worked their issues.

Closer They were cold to each other, if Margaret wasn’t around.

Or better she would be as cold as ice with Trevor, although it didn’t stop her from teasing him, bending a little when she was stretching herself out in her red bikini or bringing her cleavage to be shown more through her new nightgown, a scrap of dark blue lace, much more provocative than her cotton ones.

And Trevor would just look at her as a kicked puppy.

“Caught you off guard, sweetie?” he asked with a poisonous edge to the “sweetie” part, which got her to huff, and adjust herself more comfortably onto her bed, showing off her legs.

“Stop using petnames” she mumbled instead, giving him zero attention, picking up the magazine the maid had left in her room “… it’s annoying”.

“… you just don’t look very like a (Y/N)” he replied, settling beside her and she still gave him no attention, but he grabbed her chin, raising it so their eyes would meet “… you look more like a little girl to me”.

“Ah ah, very funny” she mumbled drily, trying to get out of the grip, but it didn’t work, mostly because Trevor silenced her sarcasm, kissing her.

She immediately tried to rush the kiss, licking his upper lip, and opening her mouth, but Trevor seemed to like taking his time, gently brushing his lips against her own, at first against her upper lip, and then the lower one, before his lips separated themselves from hers.

But they stayed near her, wanting her to beg for more.

But after Kent, she didn’t beg anyone.

Her kiss was more aggressive, but she tried to keep it teasing, nibbling onto his upper lip, and pulling it between her teeth, releasing it with a pop, and pushing herself away.

“… what made you change your mind?” she asked, meanwhile Trevor moved closer to her, pushing himself onto her bed and cornering her gently against the wall “… aren’t you afraid of my sister finding out about us?”.

“As if I would ever give a fuck about that bitch” he replied, and sincerely showed up in his eyes, but if it wasn’t enough, he gently pushed an hand between her hair, bringing her close and gently kissing her cheek “… it’s just, things are going to be complicated with me”.

“I don’t give a fuck about all that, I just want a nice fuck” she retorted, her legs opening beneath him and bringing herself closer so that she could whisper in her ear “… can you do that?”.

Trevor just smirked and before she knew it she was laid onto the bed, with him gently pushing up her nightgown to reveal her baby blue underwear, matching with a lighter tone her nightgown.

“… you just have to say, please, sweetheart” he simply mumbled, meanwhile his voice was muffled by soft nibbling at her exposed thighs, brushing his moustache against it “… you have driven me crazy”.

Her fingers immediately tangled itself in the sheets underneath her, meanwhile she tried to buckle herself up to be more close to him, but Trevor quickly pushed her back, plunging his fingers into her hips, to keep her steady on the mattress against him.

But they shifted their position quickly: one finger started prodding over her panties, as if he was making sure that she was wet enough, as if he wanted to learn the ways of her body.

“… were you already this wet, before I came in the room?” he asked, his voice appearing closer to her head and as she opened her eyes, she found him staring at her as if he was worshipping a goddess, looking at her with intensity and decision, meanwhile his finger didn’t stop his attentive ministrations “… or was this because of me?”.

“Don’t flatter yourself too much, old man” she replied, refusing to surrender herself to him so easily and he simply smirked, before he laid a soft kiss onto her forehead, something that her previous lovers had never done and it low key…

… it low key made her feel almost cherished.

Trevor’s finger dipped under her panties, simply playing with the hair he found underneath there, them moving back to teasing her over her panties.

And then back in them.

And then back outside of them.

In a teasing torture that brought her to whine pathetically.

“Is this too much for you, sweetie?” he taunted her, but she didn’t give up, spreading even more her legs, and letting him do her bidding, meanwhile her head turned to face the pillow, her hair a total mess around her “… don’t you want some relief, pretty girl?”.

She did desperately and Trevor knew it, gently dragging her panties down thighs, something that surprised her extremely: he wasn’t treating her as fine china, with his constant teasing, but the soft little attentions he gave her, made her feel damnably alive.

Almost as if he cared about her.

As if it was more than just sex.

He finally gave up to her desire and pushed a finger inside her.

The intrusion, although not unwelcome, was slightly unpleasant, since it had been quite some time since she had last taken something inside of her, but she tried her best to avoid showing anything on her face.

But still Trevor caught on her discomfort, and stilled his movement, backing up a bit, so that he wouldn’t be overwhelming her.

“… is everything alright, little one? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asked, again… strangely caringly.

“No no….” she tried not to blush, like a virgin “… it’s just been a long time since I last have done this”.

She almost thought that Trevor would make fun of her, but he just grabbed her hand and softly brought it to his lips.

“We are going to take it slow, lovely… don’t worry” he calmed her down softly, treating her with the most kindness she had ever been reserved, and she was just able to nod speechless “… just give me a minute and I’ll make it all better”.

He then lowered himself till he was between her legs, and before she knew it, his lips were onto her clit, suckling it softly at first, wanting to get her used to sensation, although she was unable to stop a soft moan from leaving her mouth, and then with more force sucking the delicate pearl in his mouth, till he engulfed it completely.

And as he felt her shiver pleasantly under him, he started moving his fingers, wetness oozing onto it, and collecting in the little pathway between her ass and cunt, in a creamy liquid, that Trevor licked clean with a quick play of his tongue, once his finger exited her, collecting all her wetness.

And then he re-entered her again, pushing two fingers inside her, and although it was again so sudden, she adjusted more quickly, buckling up and down onto them and onto Trevor’s rough face, his moustache leaving traces onto her thighs and folds, and she could have sworn he was smirking proudly at her.

He moved his fingers inside of her, at first without too much force, and then scissoring them inside her to spread her more, since he, himself, felt the tightness of her walls, slowly crumbling apart due to his attentive ministration.

And when he curled his finger into her, she basically found herself losing herself completely to him and her fingers quickly grappled his wrist, pushing it to stay inside of her, and he just smirked at her, again kissing her forehead and holding her, meanwhile trembles went through her.

“Just let go, lovely, I am here for you” and she did, watching him in the eyes, meanwhile he brought her over the edge with his mouth a breath away from her womanhood, and his fingers in her, letting her ride the orgasm till she had enough.

Sensitive and shaking she pushed him slightly away and Trevor quickly understood her need, and moved away a bit, but he kept watching her, analyzing whether she wanted his help or not.

But as soon as her orgasm finished, and pleasure didn’t obscure her brain anymore, she moved closer to him, searching lazily his lips, mostly to distract him from the hand that went into his pants pushing itself onto his belt, wanting to unlatch it.

But he stopped her.

“What do you want to do, babygirl?” he asked, almost surprised as if he didn’t understand what you had in mind “… you don’t have to”.

“Well the fact is… “ she unlatched her belt, and then pushed it away, lowering his pants, without a single look at anything, finding herself with a very evident bulge in her face, barely contained in his red boxers “… I want to”.

And then her hand came onto his dick, teasing him over his pants as he had done with her, feeling him whine pathetically against her, who simply smirked, meanwhile she continued her teasing, slipping him outside of the boxers just as he started begging her, a constant plead of mercy, that made her feel strong and in power.

And in control.

She smirked as she lowered onto his dick, a majestic one, definitely the biggest she had ever had and the thought of trying to envelop it all, made her nervous, but she didn’t waste time, at first teasing him with kittenish lick, and then gently plopping her lips around the tip, gently teasing it, meanwhile Trevor shifted forward, his hand going up to her hair, but immediately he retreated them, almost scared.

She pushed his cock out of her mouth, with a slick “pop”, gently letting him tangle his fingers in her hair.

“You don’t have to be gentle” she mumbled, meanwhile he softly huffed slightly annoyed “… I am a big girl, I can take it”.

“Can you” he retorted back, but was shut up as she gripped him tighter in her hand, literally holding him by his dick, before she ended again enveloping him, pushing herself even more through her limits and swallowing more, till it hit the back of her throat and she had to grip the ground, trying to calm herself and relax.

In the meanwhile, Trevor had pushed his hands in her hair again, but putting it softly, mostly pushing it away from her mouth and face, in a soft ponytail, loose enough not to hurt her, but steady enough that he helped her taking the rhythm, till she found one on her own, comfortable enough that the sensation almost soothed her.

And so did to Trevor, and she had to remind him, gently bruising her teeth against his cock, making him startle, meanwhile her eyes sparkled maliciously.

“Beauty, let me come” he mumbled, because she had kept him on the edge quite a bit, with a gentle stimulation, but she knew he had had enough and she moved herself to do that trick with her tongue, pushing her tongue under the underside of his dick, probing it till she found the right spot and a salty taste invaded her mouth.

It was so sudden that she had to retreat quickly and some of his seed stained her nightgown and her mouth, which she quickly tried to clean up with the back of her hand, but Trevor was quickly and cleaned up with a little tissue, attentively not to leave any stains.

She couldn’t help but feel a bit like a child.

Then Trevor pushed himself gently against her, kissing her forehead, before he gently pushed himself even closer to her, raising her nightgown, and although some alarms went off in her, she let him take her nightgown off, her body not tampered anymore by any livid.

He kissed her tasting himself deeply, his taste still lingering in his mind, and he then pushed his hand to gentle caress her pebbling nipple and her swollen breasts.

“… you made me feel so good, babe” he mumbled softly, nosing her neck and then whispering in her ear, meanwhile he shifted her in his laps, and there everything went off.

She pushed him off, sweat dripping down her back meanwhile Trevor collided with the ground, achingly moaning out of pain and she swiftly moved off the bed to check up on him.

“Shit, babe, I would have preferred you just said stop” he mumbled as she helped him up.

“I am so so sorry, Trevor” she tried to apologize, helping him back onto his feet “I swear I don’t know what overcame me”.

“Sweetheart, don’t worry” he sighed gently, trying to push her a bit closer, checking with her whether she felt like being held or not “… I just hope that I wasn’t the one who hurt you”.

“No no you didn’t” she mumbled , meanwhile she gently adjusted herself, allowing him to bring her onto his laps, as she decked herself up in an elegant robe in order to shelter her modesty, meanwhile Trevor gently held her in his arms “… you don’t know you why I am here, do you?”.

“Just that you were in hospital, before” he replied innocently, but suddenly his face became more worried, and she honestly felt like he was caring desperately for her, and that this would hurt double if not triple when she final realized it was all so fake.

“… I was put in the hospital, actually” she corrected him and found a sudden anger being harbored in his eyes, but she kept herself from thinking about it “… a year ago, I decided to quit the escort life, because I thought I had found someone who would love me, Kent… but, oh boy was I wrong”-

Trevor didn’t even smirk at her poor attempt to humor, but brought her close, since she had started slowly trembling.

“Little one, you don’t have to continue…” he tried to calm her, but she just smirked sadly at him.

“… no no I want to” she replied, gently hugging herself “…I ditched my life to live with Kent, he said he loved me, and I actually did love him, but… then he started being more violent”.

“At first, he was just possessive, which wasn’t so bad to me, didn’t it mean that he cared for me?”.

“He had never been truly violent, he would grip me tighter and have me have sex with me, although I wasn’t in the mood, but… I owed it to him, he took care of me and I never gave him anything, back”.

“Sweetie, you don’t owe people anything, nor sex, nor your body, nor your time” stopped her discourse Trevor, moving her to look at him in the eyes “… do you understand me?”

He waited for her to nod, before he let her continue.

“On my 21st birthday, he thought I had flirted with this dude, I actually didn’t, I was just being gentle with him, but for him… I was cheating in front of his eyes, making fun of him in front of all his friends, and this wouldn’t just do” she couldn’t help but move back at that night: the way her dress had shifted meanwhile she had tried to move around the room to avoid being hit by the objects thrown to her by Kent “… he slapped me, and I started crying, telling him I wanted out, he didn’t love me anymore…”.

“… he just smirked back at me and told me that he had never loved a fucking shit about me, ‘I was just a fucking good fuck’ and he then proceeded to undress me, to…” her voice broke and she felt Trevor trembling around her, rage coursing through him, but it was in no way directed to her, whom he continued to caress softly, as if petting a scared bird “… he couldn’t, he had drunk too much and I was able to fight him off, but just when I was trying to get my back, he got me from behind, and he started choking me”.

“He almost smashed my head against the wall” her body was suddenly shaken by sobs and Trevor cooed her softly “… I thought I was going to die, but then I heard the ambulance, the guests had been alerted by the screams and they had called the police…”.

Margaret had been alerted by the hospital and she had woken up to her sister’s blonde halo and this constant pain in her head.

The migraine a long-lost sign of anything she had gone through and survived.

She gently leaned onto Trevor’s naked chest, there listening to his soft heartbeat, meanwhile she was lulled to sleep, by that and the soft caress he kept donning to her head.

Truly sleeping peacefully.

The following day, she woke up before Trevor, and although she didn’t regret what had happened the previous night and she didn’t have to worry about Margaret catching them.

Still she didn’t want the maid to worry about the entire thing, since she might end up referring everything to her sister.

That wouldn’t just do.

She had breakfast alone, although she found herself pleasantly enjoying the soft pain between her legs, and the pleasurable ache that went through her as she shifted, taking her time, to choose what she wanted to have, peeling the apple she had chosen and gently waiting for her tea to cool down.

Every attempt to keep her body calm was brought down by a soft hand gently touching her shoulder, not wanting to startle her, showing a smirking Trevor, dressed in that horridly ridiculous pink robe which made her raise her eyebrows, annoyed.

“…started without me, lovely?” his voice dripped with a sexual undertone, she didn’t give too much thought, sending him an annoyed smirk, before he brought her lips to meet his, in a soft “goodmorning kiss” that made her ache for more, wanting to throw away everything that was in the table and let him lay her down on it…

Alongside that she couldn’t just discard the feeling of warmth in her chest.

She had had anything she had wanted and some more…

… it was that “more” that worried her.

“We have to be careful, Trevor” she had to remind him, once their lips parted, but he kept them close to his “… the maids and personal staff might see”.

He giggled, softly setting beside her, his hand gently setting onto her thigh, barely exposed by the new nightgown she had changed in that morning: a beautiful light pink silky thing that complimented her complexion.

“C’mon, babe, I know all the timetables of the people working here, and I know that we could have a quickie on this table and still have some time for something more” she blushed at his bold mention, pushing him lightly away with her shoulder “… you are so cute when you blush”.

She tried not to blush even more, but she didn’t think it as physical possible, mostly when Trevor Kirchner looked at her as if he wanted nothing else but you.

Although he knew how broken she was.

“… and about last night” could he read in other people’s mind “… I’ll fucking kill this Kent, if you want to”.

A strange source of power went through her body and her center started aching for attention again.

The previous night, she had been scared with him, and right now she wanted just to be bend over and given some relief: how the hell did her body work?

Her mind was too far gone that rabbit hole.

“… and you don’t have any fault, sweetie, in case your pretty mind tells you it does, it wasn’t your fault, and I am sorry that you had to undergo everything, most importantly alone, you are not alone anymore”.

“You think that a hook-up means that much for me?” she didn’t want to sound so harsh, but there was no way in hell that they would end up living happily ever after together.

First of all, she was a mess.

Secondly, he was married to her sister.

“I just know that I am glad that we had that talk and that I really like you, (Y/N)”.

Again, with the blushing: she was used to hearing man say that they loved her, but it was never “her”, truly.

It was her body, her cunt, her legs…

Instead Trevor truly meant her.

“Let’s just make no expectation on the other” she simply mumbled, and Trevor nodded, brushing his hand against her thigh, before slowly raising up and finding her wet and aching for him.

“We are going to take things slow” he traced lazy and slow patterns, onto your barely covered core “… take all the time you need”.

And with this he was off: up and running for the swimming pool.

“I think that such a nice day should be celebrated” he mumbled, meanwhile he ran discarding all his clothes around, and she followed him smirking silly.

Meanwhile he jumped in the water, she quickly pushed herself onto the board of it, before she discarded her nightgown, as bare as him.

Offering him a chance to turn away.

He didn’t, he softly grabbed her by the waist and brought her in the water, much to her protests.

But she was happy for once.

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Lately my fics have done extremely shittily so if you end up coming across this, and feel like it... PLEASE LEAVE AN HEART, A REBLOG, OR A COMMENT... I would truly apprecciate it!

@lovelylangdonx @blakewaterxx @ bonnieangelface @bish-ima-clown @ vrezra

#trevor kirchner #trevor kirchner reader #trevor kirchner x reader #trevor kirchner imagine #trevor kirchner smut #trevor kirchner fic #trevor kirchner fanfic #trevor kirchner fan fic #trevor kichner one shot #trevor kirchner oneshot #ahs #ahs imagine #ahs writing #american horror story #ahs 1984 #ahs 1984 spoilers #trevor kirchner writing

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peabodyandemerson · 4 years

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The Last Camel Died at Noon

- Completed August 20, 2020 -

4 stars. Murder! Political intrigue! Treasure maps! Lost cities! The Peabody Emersons go on an exciting adventure in the Sudan!

I thought I might list my thoughts on this one in a Pros and Cons list!

First, I’d like to note that I have never read King Solomon’s Mines, the classic adventure romance that inspired this particular tale. I do wonder what connections and inspirations I missed because of that fact! Now, my thoughts:

PROs:

Okay, yeah, I actually liked Ramses in this one! Can you believe it? I reckon he was less troublesome and conniving this go around. He’s always had useful and admirable qualities, but they were usually outshined by his annoying ones. I particularly loved the part where little Ramses was chasing after the cat with outstretched arms.

Amelia’s desire to start a full scale rebellion and the scene where she and Emerson save the toddler and mother from harm.

“I would greatly dislike being eaten by a lion”

There’s quite a lot of action in this one. I was a little shocked Emerson literally killed a man (actually several men?), but couldn’t help myself by being slightly amused by Amelia being extremely turned on by it. Messed up, but hilarious!

I don’t know if this should be counted as a��“pro” necessarily, but we know how Amelia “talks big” but sometimes stumbles in her attempts to be physically intimidating. Amelia kills like two guys in this one, I’m pretty sure. It was in defense of her husband and child, but I mean...wow. I suppose I may have misread it and she only incapacitated them, but there was a lot of bloodshed in that chaotic chapter.

We barely got to know Nefret, but she seems resourceful and quick-witted. She basically saved the whole family in the end with her quick thinking. I thought it was cute that she grabbed some artifacts for the family to study as well.

CONs:

I am actually sad the camels were poisoned. Poor little, uh, large fellas.

Emerson literally said he couldn't believe Willie Forth “allowed” his wife to travel with him when he scoffed at the idea of “allowing” Amelia to do anything. Like, bruh.

Speaking of my boy Emerson, I don’t love that he “allowed” himself to be “entertained” by the Sheik’s “dancers” (I hope you like my overuse of quotations) because if he was embarrassed that his wife knew he was there, that admits it’s something he feels guilty about, and thus should not be around. Yeah, it may be an unpopular opinion, but to me being faithful to your spouse means mind and body. Eyes, hands, and heart.

Use of the ‘n’ word and the term “savage”

In meeting Nefret, Peters described her as basically naked and Emerson and Ramses were just standing there staring at her? And she’s 13! Kemit/Tarek (a grown man) said “who can see her and not desire her” ...y’all that’s gross.

Disappointed and a bit disgusted how Amelia talked to Amenit. We all know how horrible and harmful European-centric beauty standards can be. Amelia offering to lighten Amenit’s skin, dye her hair and eyes was heart-breaking. Amelia went so far as to say Reggie would be lying if he said he found her beautiful the way she was. That’s just heartbreaking and needlessly damaging to a young woman of color.

Once again Peters seems to describe overweight people in a needlessly cruel way, frequently calling them disgusting and using language that describes them as being somehow grotesque and monstrous. I was quite disappointed particularly in Emerson’s “horror” at seeing Mrs. Forth in her present form, as if not being “young and hot” as she once was, was somehow a horror to behold. He didn’t really need to tell us how “exquisite” she was when young anyway. Like how is that relevant. I don’t really like how female beauty is emphasized, I guess. I thought the same thing when Peters wrote that Nefret’s “courage and beauty” had won over Emerson and Amelia. Like what? Courage is commendable, but beauty? Something that is subjective and uncontrollable? She’s just a child! What if she was, oh I don't know, covered in zits and gangly? Would that make her less beautiful and somehow less worthy of love? I mean, come on. I really don’t want to think that Emerson instantly fell in love with this 13 year old half naked girl at “first sight” anyway. Did Peters not realize how that sounds? I know that’s not what she meant, but it doesn’t sit terribly well with me. I hope Ramses won’t act creepy towards her in future books. I do have some fear he will grow up to be James Bond-esque, and I can tell you now I won’t like a character that sleeps with every girl he meets.

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Despite the cons, I did honestly enjoy this one. It was probably the best book since Curse of the Pharaohs even though I was, at first, a little disappointed it didn’t actually take place in Egypt. I don’t consider it a pro/con matter, but Emerson and Amelia’s love life is a bit unbelievable to the point of being ridiculous, but it gives me something to aspire to in my own married life! They are still a delight after six books, and I’m only mildly annoyed by their unattainable level of happiness together ha! I’m still trying to space these books out a little, so I’m not sure when I’ll read the next one.

Also, did Emerson hint at Willie Forth’s father having raped Mrs. Forth? I’m a little confused on that point and what lead him to that supposition.

#amelia peabody #Amelia Peabody Series #the last camel died at noon #last camel died at noon #elizabeth peters #book review #goodreads

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eyreguide · 5 years

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Jane Eyre’s Library

The novel Jane Eyre is full of literary references, allusions, and quotations that enrich the story and showcase how well-read Charlotte (and consequently Jane) was. This post highlights those literary references and gives a bit of context for each work that might help illuminate their use in the book. I have done my best to note all instances where Charlotte references a literary work (not including references to historical events) but I probably missed a few. If you know of any I missed and the particular quote, please let me know!

I thought it would be interesting to start this post with Charlotte’s recommendation of books to read to her friend Ellen Nussey. Charlotte was eighteen when she wrote this letter. I can’t say I was as well-read at her age!

“You ask me to recommend some books for your perusal; I will do so in as few words as I can. If you like poetry let it be first rate, Milton, Shakespeare, Thomson, Goldsmith, Pope (if you will, though I don’t admire him), Scott, Byron, Campbell, Wordsworth and Southey.” (letter dated July 4, 1834):

The Bible: I must acknowledge that there are many references to Biblical passages and characters in Jane Eyre but I have decided not to list them here, as it would be a lot of work. It’ll be something I’ll save for a future post.

Greek and Roman Mythology: Another omission are the references to mythology throughout the novel. Something else I’ll save for another time.

History of British Birds by Thomas Bewick

“Where the Northern Ocean, vast whirls, Boils round the naked, melancholy isles Of farthest Thule; and the Atlantic surge Pours in among the stormy Hebrides.”

A History of British Birds is a natural history book, published in two volumes. Volume 1, "Land Birds", appeared in 1797. Volume 2, "Water Birds", appeared in 1804. The quote is from the second volume.

Pamela or Virtue Rewarded by Samuel Richardson

Referenced in the novel as being one of the stories Bessie tells young Jane. Published 1740, Pamela was is an epistolary novel and was a best-seller in it’s time. But the story about a young maidservant who endeavors to resist her employer’s advances and ends up marrying him in the end, was a controversial novel at the time.

The History of Henry Earl of Moreland by John Wesley

Also called The Fool of Quality this is another novel that Bessie (probably more appropriately) tells stories from to Jane. It follows the life of Harry Clinton and his attempts to better his lot. There are frequent intervals in which the author offers philosophical digressions and commentaries. The final two-volume set was published in 1781.

History of Rome by Oliver Goldsmith

“I had read Goldsmith’s History of Rome, and had formed my opinion of Nero, Caligula, etc.”

Originally published in 1838, this is a definitive work on the History of Rome.

Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift

”Bessie asked if I would have a book: the word book acted as a transient stimulus, and I begged her to fetch ‘Gulliver’s Travels’ from the library.”

Gulliver's Travels, or Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World. In Four Parts. By Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of Several Ships is a prose satire of human nature and the ‘traveller’s tales’ literary subgenre. It was an immediate success when published in 1726.

The History of Rasselas by Samuel Johnson

“I could see the title - it was ‘Rasselas;’ a name that struck me as strange, and consequently attractive.”

The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia, originally titled The Prince of Abissinia: A Tale, though often abbreviated to Rasselas, is an apologue about happiness, published in 1759. The story is a philosophical romance with similarities in theme to Voltaire’s Candide.

The Arabian Nights

”That night, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in imagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread and new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings”

The Arabian Nights is a collection of Middle Eastern folk tales and is also known as One Thousand and One Nights. The stories have been collected over many centuries but they are all framed by Scheherazade telling these stories to her husband, the King. In one story Barmecide invites a beggar to an imaginary feast. Also, Mesrour is the name of an executioner in the book.

The Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan

“He may be stern; he may be exacting: he may be ambitious yet; but his is the sternness of the warrior Greatheart, who guards his pilgrim convoy from the onslaught of Apollyon.”

The Pilgrim's Progress from This World, to That Which Is to Come is a 1678 Christian allegory. Greatheart and Apollyon are characters in this work. It is often cited as the first novel written in English.

"La Ligue des Rats" by Jean de la Fontaine

‘Assuming an attitude, she began ‘La Ligue des Rats: fable de la Fontaine.’

This French poem was first published in 1692. Jean de la Fontaine is famous for his Fables and was one of the most widely read poets of the 17th century. Read the original tale in French here.

Macbeth by William Shakespeare

‘Yes - “after life’s fitful fever they sleep well,” ‘ I muttered.

“She stood there, by that beech-trunk—a hag like one of those who appeared to Macbeth on the heath of Forres.”

Macbeth was first performed in 1606 and dramatizes the physical and physiological effects of political ambition. The first line is a reference to Macbeth’s words concerning the dead Duncan. And the second refers to the three witches in the play.

Bluebeard by Charles Perrault

”I lingered in the long passage to which this led, separating the front and back rooms of the third story: looking, with its two rows of small black doors all shut, like a corridor in some Bluebeard’s castle.”

“Bluebeard” is a French folktale, the most famous surviving version of which was written by Charles Perrault and first published by Barbin in Paris in 1697 in Histoires ou contes du temps passé. The tale tells the story of a wealthy man in the habit of murdering his wives and the attempts of one wife to avoid the fate of her predecessors. An interesting example of foreshadowing from Charlotte. Read this fairy tale here.

Francis Bacon’s Essays

‘I see,’ he said, ‘the mountain will never be brought to Mahomet, so all you can do is to aid Mahomet to go to the mountain; I must beg of you to come here.’

This is in reference to a proverb that has been traced to Francis Bacon’s essays: “Mahomet made the people believe that he would call a hill to him, and from the top of it offer up his prayers for the observers of his law. The people assembled: Mahomet called the hill to come to him again and again: and when the hill stood still, he was never a whit abased, but said, “If the hill will not come to Mahomet, Mahomet will go to the hill.”

It is unclear if this is a true legend of Mohammed or an English invention. The Essays were published in 1625.

"Fallen is Thy Throne" by Thomas Moore

“Like heath that, in the wilderness, The wild wind whirls away.”

I could not find a publication date for the poem, but the poet Thomas Moore lived 1779-1852. The poem these lines are from is about the fall of Israel. Read this poem here.

Duncaid by Alexander Pope

“Yes, just as much good as it would do a man tired of sitting still in a ‘too easy chair’ to take a long walk; and just as natural was the wish to stir, under my circumstances, as it would be under his.”

The Dunciad is a landmark mock-heroic narrative poem published in three different versions at different times from 1728 to 1743. The poem celebrates a goddess Dulness and the progress of her chosen agents as they bring decay, imbecility, and tastelessness to the Kingdom of Great Britain.

Paradise Lost by John Milton

This pale crescent was ’The likeness of a Kingly Crown’; what it diademed was ‘the shape which shape had none.’

“Some natural tears she shed’ on being told this, but as I began to look very grave, she consented at last to wipe them.”

Paradise Lost is an epic poem with the first version published in 1667, and the second edition in 1674. The poem is about the biblical story of the fall of Man with the temptation of Adam and Eve in the Garden. The first quote in Jane Eyre concerning Jane’s paintings is a direct echo of the description of Hell in the poem: “If shape it might be call’d that shape had none/ Distinguishable... What seem’d his head/ The likeness of a Kingly Crown had on”

The second quote describes Adele’s disappointment at not joining the party and is inspired by the line about Adam and Eve departing Eden: “Some natural tears they dropp’d”

Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare

“Rise, Miss Eyre: leave me; “the play is played out.”

Twelfth Night, or What You Will is a romantic comedy, believed to have been written around 1601–1602 as a Twelfth Night’s entertainment for the close of the Christmas season. The play centers on the twins Viola and Sebastian, who are separated in a shipwreck. This is believed to be the source of the above line from Jane Eyre.

The Scornful Lady by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher

“She never did so before,” at last said Bessie, turning to the Abigail.

“In the servants’ hall two coachmen and three gentlemen’s gentlemen stood or sat round the fire; the abigails, I suppose, were upstairs with their mistresses; the new servants, that had been hired from Millcote, were bustling about everywhere.”

The Scornful Lady is a Jacobean era stage play, a comedy first published in 1616, the year of the author Beaumont's death. It was one of the pair's most popular, often revived, and frequently reprinted works. The term abigails, meaning ladies’ maids, comes from a character named Abigail in The Scornful Lady.

King Lear by William Shakespeare

‘There, then - “Off, ye lendings!”

King Lear is a tragedy where King Lear decides to leave nothing to his honest, third daughter who refuses to flatter him like her two sisters have done. It a story of human suffering and kinship. The first known performance of the play was in 1606.

Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare

“It’s a mere rehearsal of Much Ado About Nothing.”

Much Ado About Nothing is a comedy and thought to have been written in 1598 and 1599, as Shakespeare was approaching the middle of his career. In Shakespeare’s time the word “noting” (which sounds close to “nothing”) meant gossip and rumor which is what leads Benedick and Beatrice into falling in love, and Claudio into rejecting Hero at the marriage altar. Mr. Rochester uses that quote above to indicate to his guests that nothing is wrong.

The Turkish Lady by Thomas Campbell

”It was now the sweetest hour of the twenty-four: -- ‘Day its fervid fires had wasted,’ and the dew fell cool on panting plain and scorched summit.”

The poem’s author, Thomas Campbell, lived from 1777-1844) and the poem “The Turkish Lady” is about a captive English knight who is visited by Eastern lady who releases him from captivity and he takes her away as his bride. A fitting reference given that this quote is used in the chapter where Rochester proposes to Jane. Read this poem here.

A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare

”Is this my pale, little elf? Is this my mustard-seed?”

A Midsummer Night's Dream is a comedy written in 1595/96. It portrays the events surrounding the marriage of Theseus, the Duke of Athens, to Hippolyta, the Queen of the Fairies. Mustardseed is one of the fairies in the play.

King John by William Shakespeare

’I might as well “gild refined gold.”

The Life and Death of King John is believed to have been written in the mid 1590s and dramatizes John, King of England, who ruled 1199-1216. The quoted phrase is but one of several examples of “wasteful and ridiculous excess” in the play.

"Bonny Wee Thing" by Robert Burns

“Yes, bonny wee thing, I’ll wear you in my bosom, lest my jewel I should tyne.”

A 1791 poem (also written “The Bonie Wee Thing”). This poem has also been set to music. Read this poem here.

Lay of the Last Minstrel by Sir Walter Scott

”Looked to river, looked to hill.”

Published in 1805, Lay of the Last Minstrel is a long narrative poem in which an aging minstrel tells of a sixteenth-century border feud between England and Scotland.

The Robbers by Fredrich Schiller

“‘Da trat hervor Einer, anzusehen wie die Sternen Nacht.’ Good! good!” she exclaimed, while her dark and deep eye sparkled. “There you have a dim and mighty archangel fitly set before you! The line is worth a hundred pages of fustian. ‘Ich wäge die Gedanken in der Schale meines Zornes und die Werke mit dem Gewichte meines Grimms.’

This quotes from the first drama by playwright Schiller, published in 1781. The story revolves around two aristocratic brothers, Karl and Franz. Franz is beloved by his father and Karl plots to wrest away his inheritance.

A translation of the lines:

Da trat hervor Einer, anzusehen wie die Sternen Nacht. - One stepped forward to look at how the night was filled with stars.

Ich wäge die Gedanken in der Schale meines Zornes und die Werke mit dem Gewichte meines Grimms. - I ventured the thoughts in the shell of my wrath and the works with the weight of my ferocity.

Lalla Rookh by Thomas Moore

To live amidst general regard, though it be but the regard of working people, is like “sitting in sunshine, calm and sweet;” serene inward feelings bud and bloom under the ray.

Lalla Rookh is an Oriental romance, published in 1817. The title is taken from the name of the heroine, the daughter of the 17th-century Mughal emperor Arangzeb. The work consists of four narrative poems with a connecting tale in prose.

Marmion: A Tale of Flodden Field by Sir Walter Scott

“Day set on Norham’s castled steep, And Tweed’s fair river broad and deep, And Cheviot’s mountains lone; The massive towers, the donjon keep, In yellow lustre shone”—

Marmion: A Tale of Flodden Field is a historical romance in verse of 16th-century Britain, published in 1808. It concludes with the Battle of Flodden in 1513.

"The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Samuel Coleridge

The sternest-seeming stoic is human after all; and to “burst” with boldness and good-will into “the silent sea” of their souls is often to confer on them the first of obligations.

“The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” is the longest major poem by the English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, written in 1797–98 and published in 1798 in the first edition of Lyrical Ballads. Read this poem here.

#Jane Eyre #Charlotte Bronte #Literary Allusions #Literary References #Literature #Books

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1nkera · 4 years

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The meaning of family - by Inkera

Rating: G Fandom: Steven Universe Characters: Pearl & Steven

Summary: Set after SU Future. Steven comes back to Beach City on Mother's Day to give his favorite bird mom a gift.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24108433

As Steven pulled the Dondai into Beach City for the first time in nearly two years, he embraced the wave of nostalgia that hit the moment he passed the giant “Welcome to Beach City” sign - but as he turned the corner overlooking the town, nothing could have prepared him for the sight that greeted him like an old friend.

Reddish orange hues of the sunrise enveloped the old town that raised him, creating a welcoming backdrop while accentuating all the things that changed in his absence. The Funland Amusement Park had expanded further into the ocean, and Steven could see the outlines of a few new rides he didn’t recognize. He saw buildings along the coast that weren’t there two years ago, which he was excited to check out sometime during his visit. Little Homeworld had expanded, providing more housing units for the gems who were excited to start their new lives on Earth.

Even with all the new changes, Steven knew it was the same quirky town with the same complicated but amazing people, and the thought of catching up with old friends and family blurred his vision with tears.

He was finally home.

The beach house appeared empty as expected - his plan was to arrive when all the gems were out for the day, assuming their schedules were still the same from the last time they talked. But as he carried his suitcase and duffle bag up the creaking wooden stairs to the front door, a shout from inside startled him, nearly causing him to drop his bag.

“Steven, you’re back!” A tall, thin figure overwhelmed him into a tight hug, knocking all the air out of his lungs. “You should have called ahead; I would have cooked something special! And I haven’t yet cleaned up the mess Amethyst made in the kitchen this morning. Honestly, you’d think she would pick up after herself after all these years, especially in a shared living space.”

“Pearl,” gasped Steven, as the taller gem rambled on. “It’s good to see you, too.”

Pearl pulled back when she realized how tight she was squeezing but still held him at arm's length to get a good look at him. “Sorry, Steven,” she said sheepishly. “Oh, I just missed you so much. Look how much you’ve grown. Are you eating well? Getting enough sleep?”

“Yes to all those things.” Steven smiled. As capable as he was of looking after himself now, he actually missed Pearl fussing over him. “I wanted to surprise you guys when you came home. Don’t you have a class today?”

“Garnet convinced me to take some ‘vacation.’” Pearl wiggled two fingers to act as quotation marks. She huffed. “Apparently I picked up too much work all at once, and the stress was, admittedly, starting to manifest itself in unhealthy ways.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re taking some time for yourself, Pearl,” replied Steven, as the two of them made their way into the house, plopping his duffel onto the couch and propping his suitcase against the side. The kitchen was indeed a disaster - random ingredients and dishes littered the counters and floor like a hurricane had blown through. Steven didn’t mind, however; if anything, the mess made it feel more like home. “My therapist had to remind me recently to take things at a slower pace, and I feel a lot more happy and relaxed.”

Pearl took a moment to gaze with proud, glistening eyes at the boy who grew into a responsible young man far too quickly for her liking. Time moved way too fast for humans, but their ability to make meaningful change in such a short span of time truly amazed her. She wiped at a stray tear before Steven could see, taking a steadying breath. “I’m so proud of you,” she murmured, pulling the young man into another hug.

Steven laughed this time and leaned into the softer embrace, wrapping his own arms around the taller gem’s waist. He stayed there for a while, enjoying the feeling of love and security he had been missing all those years away, until his original plan came back to mind. “There’s a reason I came back today, actually.”

“Oh?”

Steven pulled back to dig into his duffel bag, pulling out a small, brown box and presenting it to the other gem with outstretched arms. “Happy Mother’s Day, Pearl.”

“Mother’s…” Pearl’s eyes widened at the implication, breath caught in her chest. She took hold of the box with trembling fingers, thumbing open the top, and she gasped at the sight that greeted her.

Inside, resting on white leather padding, was a rainbow quartz necklace shaped into a heart.

“Steven, it’s beautiful,” Pearl responded softly, taking hold of the glittering stone and gently intertwining the thin golden chain between her fingers. She ran a thumb over the smooth cut gem, admiring the way a golden wire was woven around and shaped into an elegant tree on one side.

“I wanted to give you something that embodied the connection we have. The rainbow quartz for the physical manifestation of our relationship, the tree to represent our ties as family, and the heart to portray the love we have for each other.” Steven’s fingers fidgeted nervously. “Do you like it?”

“I love it,” breathed Pearl. The colorful gem glimmered in the light of the rising sun as she tenderly turned it over in her palm.

“Ever since I was little, you’ve been looking out for me and guiding me on the path to the person I am today.” Steven took a steadying breath when his voice faltered from an unexpected surge of emotion. He wanted to make sure everything he wanted to say was said without fault - Pearl deserved it. “You stood by my side through everything and supported me through all my changes. I know you said before that change was unnatural to gems, but I’ve witnessed your struggles and your growth, and your determination through it all inspires me every day to keep going and live life to the fullest.”

“Steven…” Pearl’s voice caught in her throat.

“Growing up, you loved me for who I was - fearlessly and unapologetically - and it gave me the courage to be true to myself.” Steven pulled Pearl into a hug, his voice slightly muffled against the taller gem’s shoulder. “You helped teach me what love and family means, and there aren’t enough words to express how thankful I am for that - how thankful I am for your tremendous heart that helps get me through even the darkest of days. Your love taught me what it means to be strong in the real way.”

Pearl clutched tighter around the gem in her palm, unshed tears burning at the corners of her eyes.

“You were every bit a mother to me, biological or not, and I am so privileged to have had you in my life for all those years.

“So, I’m here to say happy Mother’s Day, Pearl,” Steven continued, tightening his grip on the other gem who was crying now, her chest shuddering with barely concealed sobs. His own feelings were starting to get the better of him as well, as tears welled up and spilled over his cheeks. His next words were shaky as he whispered, “I love you.”

Pearl could only cling to the young man at this point, clutching onto the back of his pink jacket, as she struggled to find her voice. She took a deep breath between sobs to try and steady herself before murmuring, “I love you, too, Steven.”

As the sun climbed further over the horizon, yellow rays filtered in through the glass windows overlooking the beach, outlining the two embracing figures. Years ago, thought Steven, as tears spilled from his eyes and onto the taller gem’s blue jacket, the two of them had been completely different people. Since then, there had been pain and hardships - from the past, from gems who wished them harm, and even from each other. Through all of that, they loved and supported each other and came out the other side as better people. However, no matter what happened, one thing had been constant from the very beginning.

They were family, and that would never change.

#steven universe #pearl #steven #steven universe future #rainbow quartz #ao3 #fanfiction #mine

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litsavantbookclub · 4 years

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Regretting You Book Review

Hello fellow readers!

A few weeks ago I finished Lit Savant’s March book club pick, Regretting You by Colleen Hoover. I knew when I started this book that this was a romance story. But it is so much more than that. I have decided to try something new and will use three cards from my rider-waite smith tarot card deck for this review. If you have never read this story I suggest you stop reading right now. Spoiler Warning!

It’s a story about a mother and daughter, family, loss, grief, and the journey of moving away from the past and into the future. It’s about trying to pick up the pieces. Hoover’s novel is like a tarot spread: The tower, the hermit, and the fool. Destruction, loneliness, and new beginnings. All these stages are prevalent in the book.

The first character readers are introduced to is Morgan. She is just graduated high school and is having a night out with her younger sister, Jenny, boyfriend Chris, and her friend sister’s boyfriend, Jonah. It’s clear from the beginning that there is chemistry between Jonah and Morgan. They relate to each other on a deeper level than they do with their significant others. For instance: “sometimes when we’re alone, he looks at me in a way that makes me feel empty when he looks away. It’s a feeling I’ve never gotten when Chris looks at me” (11). Jonah makes Morgan feel like no one ever has including her boyfriend. It’s a feeling that is powerful and Morgan realizes she misses it when it’s gone. However, at the same time Morgan knows that ideally those are feelings that Chris should be inspiring.

Morgan, willfully blind or not, will not act on this revelation because she will not go behind her sister’s back. Morgan states the following about her upbringing: ...I’ve always felt a sense of responsibility for her since I’m older and our mother doesn’t regulate our activities in any way” (3). Morgan is like another mother to her sister. This is a position she naturally assumed because their actual mother wasn’t around. Morgan is wants Jenny to have someone to be the voice of reason even though they aren’t supervised.

But Morgan doesn’t just feel that way about Jenny but Chris as well. During the party, Chris gets drunk and Morgan reeling from the news that she’s pregnant is not feeling festive at all. Jonah finds her and they talk. Then Morgan mentions the following: “It’s like my chest has been on a constant search for it’s missing piece, and Jonah is holding it in his fist” (11). Feeling such intensity scares Morgan and she decides she needs space from Jonah.

Chris comes back and eventually apologizes and shares the reason he loves Morgan: ...you do things you don’t want to do to make life better for the people around you.” (12). Chris says that the fact doesn’t make Morgan boring but a hero” (12). Hoover’s addition of this is foreshadowing at its finest. Morgan is a hero albeit a traditional idealized version. She does sacrifice and does so wholeheartedly for most of her marriage to Chris. She fills in all the cracks in their home and lives.

Clara during present-day adds to Chris’s comment years later when she says that the first word she thinks of when thinking about her mother is predicable: “predicable is not something I wanted to hear. Because it’s everything I know I am and everything I feared I would grow up to be” (51). Morgan isn’t happy with the way things are. She makes mention of this many times in the second chapter. It’s her birthday and she feels isolated and rudderless. In her eyes, everyone has something going for them except her. During those two instances Hoover points out something that many mothers can all relate to. While we may not be the most exciting roles in the world we are reliable because of this predictability. We sacrifice because that is what mothers do but many times it is something that is taken for granted. Every time we give to others we put our wants and even needs on the back-burner for the good of everyone else. It is noble but draining.

When Morgan found out she was pregnant all those years ago she decided that everything she did from that moment forward was to focus on her baby and Chris. For example: “...I became someone else. I guess that happens when you become a mother though. Your focus is no longer on yourself” (48). But now that Clara is months away from graduating high school one of Morgan’s longest stages is at the end. And since Chris has died, she finally has to focus on herself.

The Tower card is apparent as soon as the car accident takes place in the story. This accident turns Morgan, Clara, and Jonah’s lives upside down. The Tower card is all about upheaval. The card is pictured as a tower’s roof being struck by lighting, flames engulfing the structure, people falling down to the depths below. In a metaphorical sense all of these characters are in free fall, everything that they’ve known family, loyalty, and stability is gone. Both Chris and Jenny’s deaths and their adultery break any illusions Morgan had about Chris as a husband and all the years she dedicated herself to their marriage and her “predictable” role. After the accident Morgan says: “since the moment of the wreck, everything in my life has felt edged in sharp corners, and I’ve been tiptoeing around this world in the dark for the past month, trying not to injure myself” (139). The quotation sets the mood and tone of story Morgan is fragile and vulnerable. She is emotionally bruised and battered unable to pick up the pieces. The tower’s effect can have someone completely stripped and bared psychologically. Yet, The tower is also a card that signals a transition coming. This transition is painful and can be harrowing but it is necessary.

The Hermit is all about thinking and solitude. It’s about finding answers within yourself. However, it isn’t that straight forward. This requires time and it can be isolating. As with every card in the Major Arcana there are two sides. For a good chunk of the story it’s a rough and lonely experience. These are things that every character is experiencing by the second part of the book. Clara is trying to reconcile losing her beloved father and trying to cope with each passing day while also not seeing eye to eye with her mother, Morgan. Morgan is no stranger to feeling alone and being stuck in her head but the loss of Chris helps her eventually see that stopped caring about herself. Jonah having come back to his hometown is left reeling when he discovers that Elijah is not his biological son. This moment of solitude and thinking takes him down a dark path and he almost ends up leaving town without Elijah. Clara in her own suffering helps him see that even though things aren’t ideal he needs to be there for his son. Even though Clara isn’t aware of everything this helps Jonah put things in perspective. This card is about finding answers inside yourself. Being open to the all the possibilities and not being willfully blind.It’s about having the answers but needing to open up yourself to the act of seeing them and finally making the decisions you need.

The card is pictured as a graying man with a staff and lantern looking down thoughtfully alone. This speaks to the idea that sometimes we need to be alone with our thoughts. The man has the light with him he just needs to realize it.

Morgan is guilty of being willfully blind. She, just like Jonah, is observant and has been aware of her unhappiness for a while but has gone with the flow for most of her life. This is apparent ever since chapter one. She knows that Jonah makes her feel much more than Chris ever did. But she shuts it out. Until she can’t anymore. Morgan says the following: “I know if I obsess over the past, that obsession will only serve to anchor me in a place I am more than ready to move on from” (336). And at this point all Morgan can do is try to move on and let the past go. Same for Clara and Jonah.

The last card in the spread is The Fool. The fool upright represents a free spirit and beginnings. This card depicts a carefree man walking towards a cliff, sun in his face, flower, in his hand, dog yapping at his legs, heading off on a journey unfazed by what lays ahead. This easily describes all three characters by the book’s end. Clara has learned the whole truth and has accepted that her father isn’t without blame but was a good father to her. She is heading off to prom with Miller. She and Morgan are no longer feuding and understand each other better. Morgan has made her peace with Chris’s unfaithfulness and has embraced her unrequited love for Jonah. They are both giving their love a try. Jonah loves Elijah and will not abandon him again. He decides to stay and moves on with his life with Morgan and Clara as his new family. All characters are embracing the unknown and unfazed by the risk this may bring. This is the fool in full effect. The act of starting a journey. The fool is innocent and just wants to experience the good in the world. They want to gain experience and are not afraid of what lies ahead. It’s a wonderful outlook that we all must have had in at least once in our lives.

Overall, it was an emotional read. Our book club agreed that it wasn’t about what we initially believed. This book has layers. We understood the decisions Morgan made even though we didn’t completely agree with them.

What did you think about the book?

Did you the usage of tarot cards in this review?

Feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

My rating: 3.75

Keywords: Emotional, grief, romantic

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madegeeky · 5 years

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HUGE SPOILERS FOR THE NEW SW COMING UP

I’m going to tag this (and, on the very unlikely chance, any other spoilery posts I make about RoS, the new SW movie) with “wowow” (without quotations) because I don’t want to end up in the SW or RoS tag for a variety of reasons and last I’ve heard even if I were to do “geeky talks RoS” it might still show in the search/tags so, this is my way around it.

This originally had a few sentences saying that I’m not really emotionally invested in this movie because I’m not a huge SW fan but, hey, after writing this all up guess who’s just really fucking intensely angry? This writing is so bad it actually fucking hurts the original fucking SW and while I’m not a die hard fan, I am someone who can appreciate the importance of the original trilogy on the pop culture and movie making. And, wow, it is super not fucking okay, what this movie does to the original trilogy. Also, I haven’t seen the movie and you would literally have to pay me thousands of dollars at this point to do so; all this info comes from the wikipedia plot synopsis. Seriously, fuck this movie.

Before we get into the nitty gritty let’s take a second to note it’s really fucking dumb as fuck to have different directors and writers for a trilogy in general, let alone a SW trilogy. I don’t think it would have completely saved this movie but a lot of it is undoing the last movie so I think it would have been at least slightly better if it hadn’t felt the need to do that.

ANYWAY HERE’S 84 BULLET POINTS OF VITRIOL! May they be cathartic and/or hilarious for everyone. MAJOR SPOILERS INCOMING PEOPLE

the writers are so fucking unwilling to make Kylo Ren the true villain of the SW sequel trilogy that they bring back Palpatine, who was killed in the original trilogy

which, by the way, was a fucking huge moment in the original trilogy, as well as one of the most memorable

you know, because it’s the moment where Darth Vader turns his back on the dark side to save his son

so, hey, thanks for retroactively taking away from one of the most powerful moments in the the entire star wars series

(seriously, fuck every single person that was okay with this)

let’s just go ahead and put Kylo under the influence of another evil person

because then what he does isn’t really his fault

(fuck you, writers)

Rey is actually Palapatine’s granddaughter

she learns this through Kylo

because fuck you fans

and also because the writers can’t think of anything original

gotta have a male relative to kill or it wouldn’t be SW

i so fucking hoped that this was just Kylo fucking with Rey’s head

but, nope, then Rey remembers assassins killing her parents

(seriously, fuck you, writers)

Hux is a spy

which is a shit plot point to write in

it just doesn’t add anything to the story or to the any of the characters that we care about

you know what would have been awesome?

using a storm trooper who heard about Finn and realized that they, too, had a choice in whether to save or kill

I mean, they could have used Finn as a rallying force for storm troopers to realize that they have a choice, that they can choose to be more than they ever thought they could be

you know continuing the theme from TFA of how what makes us is our choices and actions, not where we come from

as well as echoing the theme of Return of the Jedi where Vader does the same thing

but, nope, they’d rather do this dumb as fuck twist with a white guy with barely any personality saving the day instead of using a black man to inspire people to stand up and say no

(because fuck you, Finn, apparently)

this missed opportunity is so fucking maddening because it would have been so fucking amazing

(you know, I thought this whole thing would be easier to read the second time; it’s actually worse, so much worse)

Rey kills Kylo

(fucking hell fucking yeah)

Rey heals Kylo because she feels Leia dying and I guess she feels bad or ?????

(fucking fuckity fucking fuck you fuck you fuck you, writers)

Luke appears as a force ghost to tell Rey that she should go defeat Palpatine like he defeated Vader

EXCEPT THAT LUKE DIDN’T FUCKING DEFEAT VADER

HOLY FUCKING FUCK DID THE WRITERS EVEN SEEING THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY

VADER DIED FROM PALPATINE’S LAST FUCKING ACTION AS VADER FUCKING KILLED HIM

EXCEPT OH WAIT NO HE DIDN’T BECAUSE FUCK THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY AND EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR PALPATINE’S ALIVE NOW

holy fucking fuck this makes me so legitimately angry

not only is just bad as fuck writing but it’s literally taking away from the original trilogy

which are important movies not only for pop culture but for fucking filmmaking as a whole

(fucking fuck you for this entire plot thread in fucking particular you absolute fucking fuckers)

Kylo talks to a vision of Han and then he’s completely good again

you know like Vader turned good

you know, that huge moment in the original trilogy where Vader watches his son being tortured by Palpatine

and realizes that he has a choice here and for the first time in a very long time, decides to put someone over himself, to save instead of condemn, to be more than he ever thought he could be, to realize that caring for people is actually a strength not a weakness

and he kills Palpatine which in turn leads to Vader’s death which is important because it makes his last act, the last thing he did before he died, an act of compassion and love

EXCEPT OH WAIT HE DIDN’T KILL PALPATINE DID HE BECAUSE FUCK THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY

yep, they absolutely should be trying to draw parallels between Kylo’s redemption arc and Vader’s because they both have the same emotional impact what with Kylo having to be talked into making the compassionate, loving choice and Vader coming to the realization on his own

just such a good writing choice

seriously, though, can you just imagine if they’d done this in the original trilogy

half way through Return of the Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi’s ghost just fucking shows up to Vader and they have a heart-to-heart and suddenly Vader is good again

holy fucking shit can you just imagine?

(I’m running out of ways to say fuck you to the writers, just fuck them so much)

Rey kills Palpatine

you know, just like Luke killed Vader

BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED AFTER ALL

IT WASN’T PALPATINE KILLING VADER AS HIS FINAL ACT BECAUSE VADER HAD DECIDED TO CHOOSE COMPASSION AND MAKE HIS FINAL ACT AN ACT OF LOVE BY KILLING PALPATINE

EXCEPT OH WAIT PALPATINE ISN’T DEAD BECAUSE FUCK YOU ORIGINAL TRILOGY

(this movie hates the original trilogy just... so fucking much. so fucking much)

Rey dies

but then Kylo saves Rey by giving her his lifeforce and thus dies

DID I MENTION THAT THEY KISS BEFORE HE DIES

they literally killed Kylo twice in this fucking movie and both moments were just the most unfulfilling moments to happen in this entire disappointment of a movie

but anyway apparently the only ONLY WAY WOMEN GET SAVED IS BY ROMANTIC LOVE

KYLO AND LUKE BOTH GET SAVED BECAUSE OF FAMILY MEMBERS

but wait didn’t Rey save Kylo

only because of fucking Leia, so yeah, it’s still because of a fucking family member, not a romantic choice

AND IT’S NOT LIKE REY HAS MADE ANY CONNECTIONS IN THE EARLIER MOVIES THAT COULD HAVE ALSO BEEN USED

IT’S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE FINN WHO’S BEEN SHOWN TO BE ABLE TO AT LEAST TEMPORARILY HOLD HIS OWN AGAINST SOMEONE AS POWERFUL AS KYLO REN

FINN WHO LITERALLY WAS LEAVING TO SAVE HIMSELF IN TFA BECAUSE HE WAS DONE WITH FIGHTING WHICH, BY THE WAY, AS A STORM TROOPER WHO TURNED AGAINST EVERYTHING HE’D EVER KNOWN HE ABSOLUTELY DESERVED AND WAS AN ENTIRELY UNDERSTANDABLE THING TO DO

BUT AS SOON AS HE FINDS OUT THAT REY HAS BEEN CAPTURED HE FUCKING GOES TO SAFE

BECAUSE THEY ARE A FUCKING FOUND FAMILY BUT FUCK FOUND FAMILY I GUESS

IT’S NOT LIKE YOU COULD HAVE USED THAT LIGHT SABER BATTLE BETWEEN FINN AND KYLO TO HAVE BEEN A HINT THAT FINN HAS FORCE POWERS

AND YOU COULD HAVE HAD HIM HEAL REY WITHOUT KILLING HIMSELF

YOU KNOW, LIKE REY DID EARLIER IN THE MOVIE WITH KYLO

AND ALSO HAVE A BLACK MAN BE A POWERFUL FORCE USER

BUT NOPE THE ONLY HEALING POWER FOR WOMEN IS ROMANTIC LOVE AND BLACK MEN DON’T GET TO BE POWERFUL JEDIS IN THE SEQUEL TRILOGIES

(FUCK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH JUST FUCKING FUCK YOU TO A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY FROM THIS FRANCHISE AND IT’S FANS)

did you notice that there’s no fucking mention of Rose at fucking all

listen, even if you don’t like her character she fucking deserved better that this

if only because of all the absolute fucking racist and sexist as fuck shit that she got for the second movie

by making her such a minor character that she’s not even mentioned in the plot synopsis

the writers have, whether intentionally or not, validated the fans who did this and their absolutely fucking disgusting behavior

AND FUCK THAT ALL THE FUCKING WAY FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Fuck every single person who was involved in writing this. There’s not a single beat or moment in this movie that isn’t ruined by some other moment in it, it ruins everything in the first two movies, and it literally retroactively ruins some of the most powerful moments of the original trilogy. Fucking toss this fucking piece of shit in the trash, burn it, salt the ash that’s left, mix it in some molten medal, create a metal hand giving the middle finger, go to the mariana trench, and then fucking throw the metal hand into its depths to never be seen again. This is some of the worst writing I have ever fucking read and I consume an obscene amount of shitty horror movies so I have a lot of fucking experience with bad writing.

In conclusion, to the writers, let me say FUCKING FUCK YOU FUCK YOU STRAIGHT INTO THE FUCKING MARIANA TRENCH BECAUSE YOU’RE NO BETTER THAN THE FUCKING TRASH YOU WROTE AND YOU SHOULD BE PUT SOMEWHERE WHERE YOU CAN’T FUCKING TOUCH ANOTHER FUCKING MOVIE

#wowow #geeky talks #there's probably typos in this #but i've read it over once #and i cannot make myself do it again #i just cannot #i am so sincerely sorry to every single sw fan out there #you all deserved so much better

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miguel-manbemel · 5 years

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Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 25: The Sprites Strike Back

New entry of the “Aspects & Fanfics” fanfic blog inspired on “Sanders Sides” by Thomas Sanders, Joan S. and the Foster Dawg Team. In this entry, we’re gonna get in full Logicality mode, so get ready if you like it and be warned if you don’t.

For those who didn’t read previous entries, here comes a summary of important events from previous episodes that help understand the plot of this episode better. The Sprites are original creatures I introduced in the fic back in episode 11. They are, like the Sides, aspects of Thomas’ personality, but they take such a weak role in his personality that they don’t have a body of their own and instead fly around the Mind Palace in the form of colored fireflies, or pixies of some kind. They try to byte the main compatible color SIdes to try and take control of their bodies, to speak and act through them. Without them, they can only emit jingle bell sounds that serve as an alert to the Sides of their proximity. Some Sprites are good or neutral, they just wanna play with the Sides and leave them before they become dangerous for them. Others are evil and try to stay in their bodies permanently, which would eventually be fatal for the Side.

Honesty is an original Side from this fic, introduced in episode 2. He is Deceit’s siamese twin. They used to share the same body until corruption (Honesty is a Light Side and Deceit was a Dark Side) prompted Thomas to eventually separate them both. Now each has their own body, but they still share memories and can read the other’s mind and thinking. All the Dark Sides except Remus have been turned into Light Sides at one point or another and after all they’ve gone through in the fic, now they’re all friendly towards Thomas.

Ira was introduced in episode 6 as another original Dark Side, the green one, representing Thomas’ Wrath. He used to be evil but had a redemption arc and joined the Sides as a friend. He was killed in episode 14 in a battle against the main villain on this fic, the Dark Master, a representation of Thomas’ evil introduced right in the first episode that wants to overthrown Thomas and take control of the Mind Palace and Thomas’ actions, using originally the Dark Sides in his schemes until they all rebelled against him. Ira didn’t die, though and was resurrected as a green Sprite. He would become a permanent ally, staying in Sandersia, a world that is an extension of Roman’s room where all the characters he ever created in his works live, including the Prince Guy from the Vines and Shorts, Roland, who was created by Roman as the brother he wished he would have had instead of Remus, which was a cause of jealousy and anger for Remus. Ira was given a body by Roman (a body he can’t use out of Sandersia) and lives with Roland in the royal castle, as his personal henchman and protector.

And this is it. I hope this summary has been helpful and that you enjoy reading this episode as much as I did writing it. Disclaimer that the joke you can find in the opening between quotation marks is not mine, I found it on the internet, without credit of who its author may be. I thought it was perfect for the opening skit, you’ll see why. If you want to read further into previous entries of the fic, you can find them right here. Until next time.

SYNOPSIS: Thomas suddenly doesn’t care about anything or anyone. Nothing has a point for him as he doesn’t see difference between right and wrong. That makes Logan realize that something happened to Patton and they go to his room to check on him. They’ll have to do everything they can to save Patton from a Sprite that has bitten him. Will it be enough to save him, though?

WARNINGS: Romantic Prinxiety in some moments, and lots of moments of romantic Logicality, especially in the final part. There’s a moment where Logan slaps Thomas in the face to try and make him react, if it could be a trigger. And Patton is going to go through a lot in the episode, but nothing too disturbing except for some moments where he’ll whine and cry for help, if they could be triggering somehow.

EPISODE INDEX

[Thomas shows a piece of paper]

THOMAS: I found this note on the fridge. It reads “Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.” It looks as if Patton, Logan and Remus had been working together as a team to write this dark joke, and I don’t know if I should be concerned about it…

[intro sequence]

THOMAS: What is up, everybody? Yesterday, I had an amazingly relaxing day with friends, for the first time in months. I really needed it. We went on a road trip to the beach, Dominic, Dahlia, Joan, Talyn and me. I wish there were more days like this, honestly. To be honest, I’m willing to repeat it one of these days.

LOGAN: [rising up] I hope you’re kidding, Thomas.

THOMAS: Why do you say that? Don’t you like me being happy with my friends?

LOGAN: I didn’t say that. It’s good to have moments of rest and all, but you have a lot of important projects to work on for a few weeks already, you can’t afford anymore rest.

THOMAS: Oh, come on, it was a day at the beach. Why are you so salty about it?

LOGAN: That… [making the quotation sign] “day” has come right after two weeks of similar rest since you finished that album. Two weeks that you took to work on that script-writing contest. A contest that you ended up not winning so it was a break of your habitual working routine that you can’t prolong anymore.

THOMAS: Ugh… who cares about that?

LOGAN: [in shock] What?

THOMAS: I just want to be with my friends. I have a right to stop for a while. Or forever, what’s the difference? I don’t care anyway.

LOGAN: I… I can’t believe you’re saying this. Thomas, are you okay? This is not like you at all. You have always been the most hardworking person ever. You’ve always loved your job. And now you don’t care about it at all?

THOMAS: I mean, if I have to do it, I will. Only because I have to pay the rent, and the insurance, and food. But don’t expect me to care about it. It’s only survival instinct, that’s all. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong in stopping like this. Who’s gonna miss me anyway?

ROMAN: [rising up] Um… maybe your 3.29 million followers on Twitter, 4.4 million followers on TikTok and 3.3 million followers on Instagram and YouTube? Just to name a few… See, Logan, I can count too.

LOGAN: Marvelous. Next step, learning how to write.

[Roman emits some offended Princey noises]

THOMAS: Come on. All these people surely do have other people to follow. They will survive without me. Or whatever, I don’t care.

ROMAN: Don’t talk about your followers so disrespectfully, Thomas. These people love what you do and they would miss you if you fail to deliver content to them.

THOMAS: That’s not important.

LOGAN: Yes, it is! Now I’m beginning to worry seriously. It is one thing to feel the need to procrastinate before returning to work after a holiday, but saying things like those it’s too off. Something’s wrong with Thomas or with some of the Sides. My intuition senses are tingling hard.

ROMAN: Okay, Spider-Teach. What do we do?

LOGAN: First we ought to call the others to see if everybody is okay.

ROMAN: Well, Virgil is okay, I can tell you. Virgil, come here, honey!

VIRGIL: [rising up] I’m here. What’s the matter, Roman?

ROMAN: Something’s wrong with Thomas and we’re calling everyone to check on them.

VIRGIL: Okay, should I worry?

LOGAN: Maybe. But let’s make sure and call the others. Patton! Deceit! Honesty! Remus!

[the Sides appear one by one, all of them except Patton]

DECEIT: What is going on?

REMUS: Yeah, what is this commotion all about? I was making myself a soup on the fly.

HONESTY: I hope you mean making soup with whatever you have in your fridge on the fly, figuratively.

REMUS: Well, as a matter of fact, yes.

HONESTY: Thank God.

REMUS: I had a bottle of flies in the fridge and I was making my soup with them.

HONESTY: Ew… gross…

REMUS: Why? They’re crispier than croutons. And yummier too. Which reminds me I left the pot on the stove… Oh, well, it’s not the first time my kitchen caught fire and it won’t be the last. I’ll clean it later.

LOGAN: Guys… where is Patton? He should be here already.

VIRGIL: I don’t know. Could he be in autopilot? But he doesn’t enter autopilot often, he always says he wants to be ready whenever someone calls him to help him however he can… Dad! Dad, come here quick! [nothing happens] Uh-oh…

LOGAN: [scared] I hope Patton is okay.

ROMAN: Relax, Logan. I’m sure he’s just playing with his puppies, that’s all.

LOGAN: Still, we should go to Patton’s room. I tell you that my intuition is telling me something’s wrong. And Thomas’ behavior is not okay either.

THOMAS: I don’t know what you are talking about. I see nothing wrong in my behavior at all.

LOGAN: That’s the issue. You are having problems to distinguish between right and wrong, which means your morality has clocked out.

VIRGIL: [scared] Oh, my goodness… You’re right, something’s happened to my father! We must go to his room, now!

THOMAS: Okay, if you insist. But I find it silly. Let’s go.

[Thomas and the Sides sink down, then they rise up in Patton’s room]

VIRGIL: [yelling in angst] DAD! What’s wrong with you!?

[Patton is lying down on the ground, unconscious. His puppies are in a corner, whining in fear]

LOGAN: [just as scared as Virgil] Patton! Oh, please, no! What happened to you!?

[Roman looks at Logan with a funny face, as if he was thinking on something]

LOGAN: Virgil, help me put him on the couch.

VIRGIL: Yes, Logan.

[Logan and Virgil grab Patton and put him on the couch]

VIRGIL: [tapping Patton gently on the cheek] Dad… Dad? Wake up, please.

[Patton doesn’t wake up. Logan grabs Patton’s hand, caressing it sweetly with a face of huge concern. Roman looks at Logan with the same face of inner thinking, then Logan puts a sudden face of fear]

LOGAN: Guys… guys look at this! On his wrist!

[Logan points at Patton’s wrist. There’s a light blue spark on it]

VIRGIL: It’s a Sprite! Patton has been bitten by a Sprite!

LOGAN: This explains everything.

[Patton suddenly opens his eyes. Looks around and notices Logan grabbing his hand]

SPRITE: [with a cold voice, withdrawing his hand from Logan’s hand] Get your hands off me, you freaking nerd!

LOGAN: These are not your hands, you Sprite! They’re Patton’s!

SPRITE: They were Patton’s. Now they are mine! And they’ll stay mine forever!

LOGAN: [yelling] FALSEHOOD!

ROMAN: Calm down, Logan. You’re supposed to be the cool thinker here. Control your temper, for Patton.

LOGAN: You’re right, Roman, I apologize.

SPRITE: [getting up] Well, let’s see… I certainly haven’t gotten the nicest body among the Sides, but it will have to suffice, I guess…

THOMAS: [with a voice of not caring at all] Poor Patton… How did this happen?

SPRITE: Oh, it was easy. I just had to hide between one of that fool’s dogs’ hair, and when he petted it, I jumped on his wrist. He didn’t even have time to flinch.

LOGAN: Like a freaking flea. You used his need of spreading love against him. You f… [bleep] bast… [bleep]

DECEIT: You know you won’t stay in there for long. We know how to take care of bugs like you.

SPRITE: I’m not as dumb as Laziness. You’ll never know who I am.

VIRGIL: Please, let Patton go. He’s my father.

SPRITE: Why would I care about that?

LOGAN: Because Patton is the most wonderful being that exists in the Mind Palace. We would all give our lives in exchange of his. You can’t do this to him.

SPRITE: [laughs] You all sound so corny and stupid. Why should I care about this idiot? He’s just a vessel for me to take. There’s only room for one of us in this body and it’s gonna be me who stays in. I’m fed up of wandering around the Mind Palace without a body. I’m not giving up this one!

LOGAN: [with a deadly serious face of anger] I’ll make your life a hell if you don’t retreat right now. And believe me, I know how.

SPRITE: [equally serious] Don’t make threats you cannot carry out, nerd. You know if you try to do anything to me, it’s your loved one who’ll feel the pain.

[Roman closes his eyes and concentrates for a few seconds, then he opens his eyes]

ROMAN: Done. I’ve called Ira. Maybe he can give us some help.

SPRITE: Ira? That impure Sprite? He used to be one of you, wasn’t he? Well, you’re wasting your time. He’s as hopeless as you are. You can’t do anything to stop me.

ROMAN: We’ll see about that.

[Ira’s green Sprite appears]

ROMAN: Hi, Ira. I told you everything telepathically. It’s a good thing you were in Sandersia, otherwise I couldn’t have reached you like that. Do you think you can help?

[Ira flies to Remus and, before Remus can do anything, he attaches to Remus’ ear]

REMUS: Ouch! Don’t…!

IRA: [speaking through Remus’ body] …do that. I know, I know, but this is an emergency and I can’t use Honesty’s hologram anymore, so let me borrow your body for a second, will ya?

SPRITE: Wow, it’s the first time I see you behaving like a real Sprite, Ira. Too bad it’s not gonna make any difference.

IRA: And you know a lot about difference, right… Indifference?

ROMAN: Indifference? So that Sprite is Indifference?

IRA: He is, Roman. One of the worst kind of light blue Sprites. He’s almost the only one that would have the guts to attack Patton like this. Patton is so friendly that even Sprites like him on first sight, and are contented with playing with him from time to time. But he’s the only one willing to destroy him. That… smurf-beetle.

LOGAN: Of course he is. Indifference is the result of our morals and convictions going numb. That’s why Thomas hasn’t cared for anything or anyone lately. Then, the solution is clear. We must make Thomas remember his morals and what he stands for to help Patton gain enough strength to expel indifference out of him.

INDIFFERENCE: Ha! Good luck with that. I’m not as weak as Laziness. You will never be strong enough to expel me.

LOGAN: You’re probably just bluffing.

INDIFFERENCE: Wanna bet?

IRA: Logan, I hate to say this, but he’s right. He’s one of the strongest Sprites out there. It will take more than brute force of will to expel him out of Patton. But don’t worry, I’m gonna go get some help.

ROMAN: Some help? From who?

IRA: Well, being a Sprite has its advantages, you know? Okay, I’ll be back as soon as I can. Don’t despair, guys.

LOGAN: Hurry up. We don’t know how much time we’ve got until the process becomes irreversible.

IRA: Yes, I know. I’ll be back soon.

[Ira disengages from Remus’ ear, then flies away]

REMUS: Aw, that hurts… Roman, if you don’t tell your green bug to stay away from me, I’m gonna put him in my next soup, I promise!

ROMAN: Sorry, Remus. I wish I could give him a body of his own, but I can’t outside of Sandersia.

LOGAN: Okay, while our plan B gets rolling, let’s start with plan A. Thomas?

THOMAS: What is it now?

LOGAN: You must try to remember what you always have stood for. What you always believed to be right, and even what you always believed to be wrong.

THOMAS: What’s the point to do that?

LOGAN: We need you to do that to save Patton. If you don’t remember how to distinguish between right and wrong, we’ll lose him.

THOMAS: The problem is I have no clue about what is good and what is bad. Everything looks the same to me right now. It makes no difference to me.

LOGAN: That’s because it was Patton who helped you in that matter, but remember that we all come from you. There has to be some way for you to reignite the spark of your morality, to start giving him strength to fight.

THOMAS: I don’t see the point.

LOGAN: What?

THOMAS: If the Sprite wants his body, whatever, let him have it. I am the Light Master, I can create another Morality Side whenever I want, so it’s not so big of a deal.

[Logan looks at Thomas in silence, then he approaches him and slaps him in the face with a loud noise. Thomas is so shocked he can’t react at all]

INDIFFERENCE: Oooh… that must have hurt…

LOGAN: [trembling voice with anger] Don’t you dare say that again. Maybe you don’t remember what is right or wrong, but as long as that part of yourself is clocked out, I will act as your substitute conscience, and I’ll never let you do that. We’re gonna save Patton, the same Patton that is there in distress, and we’re gonna live happily ever after. Understand?

THOMAS: [with his hand on his face] Okay… if you say so…

LOGAN: Now will you help us or not?

THOMAS: Okay, I’ll try, I’ll try, don’t slap me again, I need my face for my job.

LOGAN: Well, at least we see a reaction in you of some kind…

THOMAS: I mean… you really scared me. I don’t want you to kill me, that’s all.

LOGAN: Mmm… Maybe we could have something in this. Criminals throughout history did not show to have a healthy moral scheme, or any moral scheme at all. But many of them could act based on fear. Fear to get caught, for example. Virgil is still here and he’s in good shape, obviously, that’s why you feel fear. So maybe you can lend us a hand, Virgil.

VIRGIL: How can I help? I’ll do anything to help my father.

LOGAN: We’re gonna try something. I’m gonna use on Thomas the classical conditioning method by Pavlov. In short, it consists on putting different kinds of stimulus on a subject to elicit specific responses. In his current state, Thomas cannot elicit appropriate responses on his own, so that’s where you come in, Virgil. I’m gonna mention different things to Thomas. Whenever I mention something positive or right, send him a “pleasant feeling”, Virgil, by removing all signs of anxiety from him at that exact moment for a couple of seconds. If I mention something negative or wrong, do the opposite, send a little bit of anxiety to Thomas. With enough tries, we could make Thomas anticipate the good and bad feelings when thinking on something. That could make Thomas re-learn the difference between right and wrong, and give Patton a chance to fight.

INDIFFERENCE: Wow, Teach, that looks like a good plan.

LOGAN: I know.

INDIFFERENCE: Emphasis on the “looks”, because Pavlov’s method needed a lot of sessions to make the conditioning work, and I’m afraid you don’t have so much time. It’s only a matter of minutes before he’s no more.

LOGAN: Maybe, but it’s still a matter of minutes before he’s gone, and I’m gonna use each and every second left to save him.

INDIFFERENCE: Well, suit yourself. I don’t care.

LOGAN: Okay, ready Virge?

VIRGIL: I’m ready, Logan.

LOGAN: Okay… Thomas, imagine helping a friend in need.

[Virgil points at Thomas, he shows a smile of relaxation]

THOMAS: Wow, that feels great…

LOGAN: Now… kicking a dog on the back.

[Virgil points at Thomas again, this time he grimaces]

THOMAS: That was not so great…

LOGAN: Standing up for human rights…

[there is a montage of Logan, Virgil and Thomas repeating the same method for a few times]

LOGAN: Well, I don’t think we have too much time left, so that will have to suffice. How do you feel, Thomas?

THOMAS: I don’t know. It’s a weird feeling. I don’t feel true concern about right and wrong, but at least now I can sense which is which, in part at least…

LOGAN: Concentrate on the different feelings you had for each example, and try to extrapolate them to this situation. Use the feelings you received as a beacon of light and project them onto Patton. Ugh… I never thought I would ever be working with feelings.

THOMAS: Okay, I’ll try…

[Thomas looks at Patton. The Sprite shows a face of concern. He starts shaking faintly]

THOMAS: I… I’m feeling something new… I’m feeling true signals of right and wrong, but they’re too weak.

INDIFFERENCE: Stop it… Stop it right now…

THOMAS: The signs are too weak… I think I’m losing them…

[Patton’s body stops shaking. Indifference shows a triumphal smile]

THOMAS: I lost them.

INDIFFERENCE: I told you it was gonna be worthless.

LOGAN: But now you remember how right and wrong truly felt, right? Try to use that memory and project it onto Patton. Let’s try again.

THOMAS: I’m trying, Logan, but I can’t. The signals were too weak to be clearly distinguishable.

INDIFFERENCE: Give up, Thomas. It’s already too late. Patton is almost gone.

LOGAN: Emphasis on the “almost”. Thomas, don’t listen to him. You’re Patton’s only hope. Try again.

THOMAS: Okay.

[Thomas looks at Patton again. Again the Sprite shows a face of concern and Patton’s body starts shaking, this time a little harder than earlier. For a moment, Patton shows a face of struggle]

PATTON: [whining] Logan… Help me…

LOGAN: [distressed] Patton? Is it you?

INDIFFERENCE: Enough!

[Thomas has to step back, as if he had been pushed by an invisible force]

THOMAS: I almost had it!

INDIFFERENCE: [yelling angry] You’ll never have him back! This body is mine! All mine!

LOGAN: [yelling] No, it isn’t! I will never let you get away with this! Patton is too precious to me! I’ll protect him with my life if I must!

[Roman looks at Logan with a face of realization. He’s quickly distracted when Ira returns, and he’s bringing with him a swarm of light blue Sprites. Roman points at Ira and his body appears]

IRA: Okay, everybody step back. I have brought reinforcements with me.

INDIFFERENCE: What? What are all these doing here?

[the blue Sprites start sticking onto Patton’s body one by one]

LOGAN: Wait, what is going on? What are they doing?

IRA: Don’t worry, Logan. As a Sprite myself, I know perfectly well how we work. Trust me. Patton will be all right when it’s all over. A bit sore, but it will be worth it.

LOGAN: Okay, I hope so…

INDIFFERENCE: Get away! Get away from me right now! This body is mine! I saw it first!

[Patton’s body starts speaking with multiple voices overlapping, mumbling incoherent sounds the more Sprites attach to him, and he starts shaking violently]

INDIFFERENCE: [his voice is faintly heard among the rest of voices] Get out now! I’m getting weak! There’s too many of us! I can’t keep control! No!

IRA: Now it’s your chance, Thomas. Indifference is too busy fighting the other Sprites to keep control of Patton himself. I’m sure you’re starting to have true feelings of right and wrong already. Project them onto Patton and help him fight!

THOMAS: Okay. This time the signal is really strong! Patton, come back to us, now!

INDIFFERENCE: Nooo!

[Thomas looks at Patton. He stops shaking and starts struggling. After a few seconds, all the Sprites are expelled from him, including Indifference. Patton falls down, unconscious]

IRA: [to the Sprites] Thank you guys, thank you for helping my friend. It’s good to have friends like you.

[The Sprites make sounds of jingle bells as they fly away]

IRA: I love you too, guys. We’ll hang out soon, I promise. [to the Sides, after the Sprites are gone] You see, I spent some time in the Sprites’ world before I returned to you, and in those days I made a lot of good friends, really good guys. I knew they would lend me a hand… or wing, to help Patton. I told you they really like him.

LOGAN: Thank you so much, Ira. You saved us again.

IRA: That’s what friends are for. Don’t hesitate to call me if something like this happens again. I have friends of all colors in the Sprite world. I doubt any Sprite will dare to attack you again for a long time now that they know that you are under my and my friends’ protection. Now I must go, this temporary body of mine is wearing a bit thin…

LOGAN: Loved that Doctor Who reference.

IRA: Thanks, I knew you would like it, Doc. Come visit us at the Sandersian castle some time, okay, guys? It’s been ages since the last time. See ya.

[Ira’s body disappears and he returns to his green Sprite form. Then he flies away. Logan is already next to Patton, sweetly petting his hair]

LOGAN: Patton, are you okay? Wake up, please.

[Patton starts waking up]

PATTON: Lo… Logan? [Patton opens his eyes, notices Logan and hugs him, whining] Oh, Logan, it’s been horrible.

LOGAN: I know… It’s over now. That Sprite won’t be a nuisance for a long time, I promise…

HONESTY: Thomas, how are you feeling now, by the way?

THOMAS: I’m fine again. I’m sorry for the things I said, Logan. You know I would never say them in my normal state.

LOGAN: I know, Thomas. Don’t worry. Can you stand up, Patton?

PATTON: [standing up with Logan’s help] I think so, but don’t let go off me, please. Everything hurts.

LOGAN: I’ll never let you go, Patton, figuratively or literally. Ira warned us about you feeling sore. The pain may be for all the Sprites you had in your body at the same time. I’m sorry you had to go through that. But I think Ira couldn’t think on anything better in such a short time.

PATTON: It’s okay. Ira’s idea saved me. I’ll visit him soon to give him my thanks. The pain will go soon, I guess, and with you by my Side it’s like it hurts less.

[Logan looks at Patton with a loving glance. Then Roman shows a determined face]

ROMAN: Okay, guys, everybody out of here right now, except you Logan.

THOMAS: What, why?

ROMAN: We need to let Patton rest for a moment, of course, and Logan and I are enough to help him.

LOGAN: You and I…?

VIRGIL: Shouldn’t I be the one staying here? I’m his son, in case you forgot.

ROMAN: And I’m his son-in-law, Virge, and I want you to rest too. Don’t worry, he’s in good hands. Come on, everybody out!

THOMAS: Okay… [to the camera] Until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals…

ROMAN: Come on, Thomas!

THOMAS: I’m going, I’m going! Peace out!

[end card. Only Patton, Logan and Roman are in Patton’s room]

ROMAN: Okay, we’re all alone now. Who’s gonna start talking first?

LOGAN: Talk? About what?

ROMAN: I’m Thomas’ romantic Side. Do you think I can’t recognize love signs when I see them in front of my face? You two are in love, that’s a fact. The question is when did this happen?

[Logan blushes]

LOGAN: I… I don’t know what you mean.

PATTON: It’s okay, Logan. It’s not like we’re doing wrong or anything. You’re right, Roman. Logan and I are together. It’s been only for a few days but it’s a thing.

ROMAN: [clapping his hands happily] I knew it, I knew it! I’m so happy for both of you… but why are you keeping it a secret?

LOGAN: Well, I… he… I…

PATTON: I don’t want to put Logan into too much pressure. You know how hard it is for him to express his feelings. I don’t want him to get overwhelmed.

LOGAN: Thank you, Patton. This is all… really difficult for me, and I don’t know how to put it in words.

PATTON: So, please, Roman, don’t tell this to anyone, okay?

ROMAN: Not even Virgil?

PATTON: Especially Virgil. I hate to make you keep a secret to your husband, but he is my son. I want him to learn it from ourselves before anybody else. We would have told you and the others eventually, but little by little, when Logan felt ready.

ROMAN: Okay, as you wish. But please, don’t keep the secret for too long. I hate having to hide things from Virgil. He could get mad at me, with reason.

PATTON: I know. I promise we won’t take too long.

ROMAN: Okay, I’ll leave you now. Get better soon, Patton. [sinking down, with a smirk] Maybe you should let your personal doctor examine you carefully…

[Logan’s face goes red like a tomato]

PATTON: Thanks kiddo.

LOGAN: This has been awkward… I feel so embarrased…

PATTON: Are you embarrased of me, Logan?

LOGAN: No, of course not, I never would. If anything, I am embarrased of myself.

PATTON: Why?

LOGAN: I’d wish to be as confident as all of you are in expressing your feelings. I’m not so good on that. Well, that’s an understatement. I’m terrible, and I hate myself for that.

PATTON: If you say again that you hate yourself I’m going to physically fight you! Please, don’t be harsh on yourself. Love is a beautiful thing, but it can be overwhelming for a lot of people of many kinds. You are not alone in that feeling and there’s nothing at all you should feel embarrased of. I’ll be here to support you every step of the way until you figure yourself out.

LOGAN: It is all so overwhelming and confusing. There’s only one thing I’m not confused about, especially after realizing earlier that I could have lost you. I love you, Patton. I love you so much.

PATTON: [smiles] Do you realize this is the first time you’ve said this without hesitating? That’s a new step forward and I’m proud of you. I love you too, Logan.

[Logan and Patton kiss]

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #logicality #romantic logicality #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #fanfic #fanfiction #aspects and fanfics

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writeroftheprompts · 6 years

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Oh hi! This ask might be a little particular because I do feel confident enough in my stories but I got a little problem and this is that English isn't my native language and I keep using the punctuation rules of my language. So I wanted to know if I could get a summary for it. (For example, I still have no clue as to what is the Oxford Comma :/) Thank you a lot! Love the blog

Ask and ye shall receive! I actually wrote a little cheat sheet of some punctuation uses a few years ago. Your question about the oxford comma will be answered below but I wanted to add more grammar information while I was at it. I’ve added a bit to it now to make more sense but I should say that this is a simplified cheat sheet of some grammar points that can be more complicated (but don’t have to be hard to understand) so I apologize if in summarizing I miss something.

I should also say that since it was years ago I don’t have the exact sources I used to compile it but as far as I remember the main places I used were GrammarBook.com, Grammar Girl, and I used Grammarly today to add a few other things (though I personally would not recommend using the Grammarly plugin).

Okay, first I want to talk about some basic points about grammar so the punctuation makes more sense.

A complete sentence includes a subject, verb, and object. The subject is the noun that is doing the thing in the sentence, the verb is the action, and the object is the thing being acted on. John(subject) eats(verb) pizza(object). Some sentences have implied subjects or objects. For example: John walks. That is technically a complete sentence even though it is short. You can think of it like John is the subject and object who is walking himself. A sentence also needs to express a complete thought.

A clause is a group of words that has a verb (predicate) and a subject. A complete (or independent) clause is like a full sentence in that it can stand on its own. An incomplete (or dependent) clause is like a piece of a sentence that needs to be joined to another clause to be part of a full sentence. Although John is lactose intolerant, he loves to eat pizza. In this example the italicized part is the dependent clause because it can’t stand alone as a sentence, the underlined part can.

So a combination of clauses can be a full sentence, a dependent clause is not a sentence, but an independent clause can be a full sentence.

Conjunction: and, but, or, nor…

Adjective: words that describe nouns

Adverb: words that describe verbs (commonly end in -ly)

So now let’s talk about punctuation points that affect sentence grammar, specifically commas, semicolons, and the difference between hyphens, en dashes, and em dashes (there is a difference). I’ll give a list of the uses of each and briefly how it’s used. Examples are in the parentheses.

Commas

lists

when using two adjectives (he is a strong, healthy man)

surrounding a name. (Will you, Ashley, do it for me)

interjections (I am, as you have probably noticed, very nervous)

connecting incomplete clauses but beware of comma splices. This is where you connect two complete clauses with a comma without a conjunction (I love to ride my motorcycle, it is so fast. A way to fix it would be either to use a period or: I love to ride my motorcycle because it is so fast.)

phrases that start sentences (As you can see, this puppy is adorable.)

separating two strong clauses with but, and, or, for, nor…

The Oxford comma: a comma in a list before “and” or “or” in a list (The bananas, apples, and pears had gone bad)

There’s controversy over whether people should use the oxford comma because in the example above it is not really necessary so it is mostly a style choice. But there are instances where it can make a big difference. Here’s an example from Grammarly: I love my parents, Lady Gaga and Humpty Dumpty. This could be interpreted to mean that your parents are Lady Gaga and Humpty (see point three). Using the Oxfrod comma avoids that possible misunderstanding by writing it: I love my parents, Lady Gaga, and Humpty Dumpty.

separating pieces of a sentence for confusion (We bought sweaters and I picked out red and green, and blue was his first choice.)

quotations. Always put a comma either before a quote or after depending on where you put the tag (He said, “I’m so tired.” OR “I’m so tired,” he said.)

separating statements from a question (I can’t go, can I?)

Contrasting. (This is mine, not yours)

surround however, therefore, etc. when used as interrupters

Semicolons

Connecting two closely related independent clauses without a conjunction. (Call me tom; I’ll give my answer then). This is another way to fix comma splices. Both pieces of that sentence are independent clauses, but they make sense connected. A comma is too weak to do the job, but a semicolon can. So, when connecting two independent clauses either use a conjunction (and, but, or…) or a semicolon.

separate units in a list when comas have already been used. (The train stops at Montreal, Quebec; Toronto, Ontario; London, Ontario…)

With conjunctions when a comma has already been used sort of like the example above.

HYPHEN (-)

(Note: the following differences are more nitty-gritty grammar things that you should know if you are really pursuing writing and publishing but in general I don’t think most people know this. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as en and em dashes until I looked this all up)

This is just the hyphen button on the keyboard

compound (eye-opener)

adjectives before noun (friendly-looking man)

adverbs not ly before noun (well-known actress)

numbers (thirty-two)

fractions (one-third)

prefixes on PROPER nouns (un-American)

prefixes ending in ‘a’ or ‘i’ if starts with same letter (ultra-ambitious) if they are different vowels don’t (proactive)

double e and o usually make one word except for (de-emphasize co-owner)

EN DASH (–)

On a Mac, you can make this by pressing Option + -

differentiation (1997–2013, US–Canada border)

EM DASH (—)

On a Mac, you can make this by pressing Option + Shift + -

source of quote (Inspirational quote — Alex)

informal writing instead of semicolon (I pay the bills—she has all the fun)

interjections or asides (I just needed to say—I can’t believe I’m doing this—I’m in love with you.)

the above two points are sort of stylistic. As you might see you can use semicolons or em dashes so it depends on your writing preferences. From what I’ve seen, most novels and such use the em dashes instead of semicolons.

Change in thought or tone (I just wish—never mind.)

Incomplete thoughts in quotations (Emma was saying, “I couldn’t believe when I saw—” when an alien jumped out of the bush and attacked.)

These were the things that I wanted more clarification on when I wrote this and so I figured other probably would benefit from it too. Obviously there are a lot of other parts of grammar and punctuation so if you have any specific requests I can try to help you out!

#ask #grammar #writer reference #writblr

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dimigex · 5 years

Text

Speechless

Okay, so this is a completely unscripted crossover drabble inspired by @incorrect-overwatch-quotations post found here. And it isn’t even Overwatch. Go figure. The quote reminded me of that time I dropped poor Genma into the Star Wars universe with @cinlat‘s OC Fynta Wolfe. If you haven’t read her stories, I highly suggest you do. Otherwise, forgive me for this chaos that literally no one needed.

The unfamiliar drone of machinery left Genma on edge as he followed his new teammate through the ship. He hadn’t figured out why they called this thing a ship yet, especially since they were nowhere near water. Better not dwell on that for now. Genma decided, shaking his head. He planned to clear his mind with some training. At least something familiar existed in this upside down world.

The training area looked familiar enough with its weapon racks and roughly human shaped targets, even if these were drawn of some sort of paper. Close enough. Exhaling, Genma felt some of his tension bleed away. He had a lot of things to figure out, but at least he could understand this.

Brilliant blue eyes swept over Genma in calculation. “I can’t believe Theron is making me do this,” she grumbled under her breath, then addressed him. “Name’s Fynta Wolfe. I’m supposed to test your combat proficiency.”

Genma summoned his trademark smirk, feeling more in his element. “I’ve never had any complaints about my proficiency before.”

Fynta snorted. “Theron has no idea what to do with you, so you’re my problem until he figures it out. I need to know what I’m working with.”

At the mention of Theron, Genma grumbled under his breath. The man had been quick to confiscate most of the shinobi’s weapons despite acting friendly enough. Genma held no illusions. The new “teammate” was more guard than anything else. At least she was easy on the eyes.

Fynta tossed her blonde braid over one shoulder. “Let’s start with the basics. A blaster isn’t that different from your typical gun. Have you used one before?”

“No,” Genma admitted, accepting the clunky weapon Fynta offered. It weighed more than all his shuriken, kunai, and senbon combined. “I won’t be a problem. I’m pretty good with my hands.”

An answering grin split Fynta’s lips before she smoothed her features back to neutral. Jutted her chin toward a target, she spoke. “Let’s see what you can do, ninja boy.”

Genma looked the target, eyes narrowing as he considered his options. Relaxing his stance, the shinobi rolled the single senbon he’d managed to keep from Theron toward the center of his mouth. Genma breathed in through his nose, then shot the needle with practiced ease. It sank into the center of the target’s head, tearing through the paper to lodge in the material behind.

Not wasting time to see if his first attack had impressed Fynta, Genma calculated the weight and trajectory of the weapon in his hand. Tensing his wrist, he flung the blaster toward the center of the target, much like he would have done with one of his kunai. The weapon bounced against the bullseye, then clattered to the floor. Genma frowned. “I’m going to need more blasters.”

Silence met Genma’s words. He turned toward Fynta, surprised to find the woman’s mouth hanging open. She looked between him and the target several times before she spoke. “Did Theron put you up to this? Is he still mad over the missing caf? That one wasn’t me--”.

Genma’s brow furrowed. “What’s caf?”

Fynta exhaled and rubbed the back of her neck in a manner eerily similar to Kakashi when the man growled that he’d had enough of Genma’s antics. “This is going to be a long day.”

#Dimi Drabbles #genma shiranui #Fynta Wolfe #Naruto #SWtoR #Because I can #You will never convince me this didn't happen #ninja with technology #it's a bad combination

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elven-oracle · 6 years

Text

the siren act ii: tranquility |p.p. / part 7|

[part one] [part two] [part three] [part four] [part five] [part six]

‘the siren’ trilogy masterlist

moodboard credit goes to @astral-parker

to see other amazing moodboards:

by @starksparker click here

by @harryrholland click here

to listen to the playlist inspired by this series go here

SUMMARY: A month after adapting to human life and being accepted into Midtown School of Science and Technology, Lena “the Siren” Potts starts attending school with Peter Parker. As love and family start to pour into her life, a mysterious force lurks in the background, threatening the wellbeing of both herself and all the people she loves…

PAIRING: Peter Parker x Siren!OC

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

Lena was displeased with how quickly her own power had worn her out. Her capability had started to go into her head, as Pepper often told her happened to Tony. The amount of stamina it had taken had forced her to feel like she had not slept in days. She was lucky to have Peter to get her somewhere safe. She woke up in his arms, happy that his presence had almost guaranteed her a dreamless sleep.

The shared dream that they had was unsettling. Neither of them brought it up because they could mutually feel the odd feeling it placed in the back of their throats. It could be a smart idea to mention something about it to Tony, as it was a form of premonition she had never experienced before. Previous to this, she could explain everything they went through together, but this was oddly out of place and misshapen. She wanted to make sense of it, but there was a roadblock preventing her from that.

Her face was buried in between the bottom of his chin and the curve of his shoulder. Her eyes were closed, but she was not asleep. She was still not a fan of sleep, and it seemed to be the only state she could maintain for the past few days, but they had proved to be the most intense thus far out of her career fighting crime. It was strange to desire something that usually repulsed her. Lena let her thumb trace the outline of Peter's top lip, going back and forth until he stopped her, grabbed her by the waist, and used some force to roll with her off the bed. With a light squeal and a thud, his body took most of the impact, leaving her lying heavily on top of him.

Strands of hair fell onto his face, and he laughed softly while swatting them away. She placed a gentle kiss on his nose and stood, knowing that they both still had a lot of homework to get done, and it was probably past dinner time by now. Realizing she was still in her suit, she pressed its release button and let it rid itself of her body, falling into a small pile on the floor. Already knowing where to find Peter's lounge clothes, she pulled on one of his three Midtown Tech hoodies (how many did he need?) and the pair of sweatpants he had accidentally shrunk in the wash one time. She still had to tie the drawstring pretty tight, but it was better than them almost falling down.

Lifting her bag over her shoulder, Lena wandered into the dining room, Peter following close behind. Aunt May was in the living room, eating out of a takeout container and watching a movie Lena recognized but could not place a name to. It filled her with a bit of excitement. That was a perfectly reasonable and human thing to do, something that Peter did quite often.

"There's teriyaki in the fridge, kids!" May called, eyes still glued to the television.

This meal was common in the Parker household, and Lena knew that despite not having been there for a while. Peter had once told her that the people that pick up the phone practically know their orders by heart, and often liked to throw in free potstickers or rice because of how loyal their patronage was. Lena had only eaten this takeout once with them, but she remembered it fondly.

Among the many tendencies of humans that confused Lena, their eating of other animals, especially fish. She could not stand to think about the idea. Of course, eating had not been a habit of hers until she moved onto land, but when the carnivorous ways were explained to her she found it repulsing. Tony called her a vegetarian, so she told other people that was what she was too. In her mind, she was just caring for her fellow living creatures.

May never forgot that Lena did not eat meat, and got her what was called "tofu fried rice," which was a large plate of vegetables, rice, and compressed noodles designed to replace meat. Lena opened her American Politics textbook and laid it to the side, skimming the words while spooning rice into her mouth. Peter silently ate his dinner while doing math problems. It was a silent routine that they had followed before, but this time they could exchange thoughts to each other and even help each other out. It had taken a minute for Peter to accept that she was his academic equal - it was almost unbelievable how quickly she learned - but they became more productive once he did.

A thought crossed her mind, and it sat behind her lips, begging her to bring it up to Peter. She gave her best effort to hide it from his mind, but he caught onto the way her mood felt off and stopped writing, the pencil's squeaks coming to a halt and getting her attention. She lifted her eyes but not her head, looking at Peter who had set his pencil behind his ear.

"Everything all right?" he asked, leaning back in his chair, arms folded across his chest.

"What promise?"

"Hm?"

"You made Tony a promise. What was it?"

Peter laughed slightly, grabbing his pencil and leaning forward again, continuing to write, giving off the energy that it was not a big deal, but she would beg to differ. It had been a prominent thought in his mind that had been loud enough to almost disable her.

"It's really nothing, Lena. Mr. Stark made me promise he would call him if we encountered the Arsonist again, so when we saw him, I panicked and had to call him pretty quickly. That's all."

But that was not all. She felt the wall Peter was putting in front of the missing piece. She pried at it, needing to know. After their monumental kiss, Peter had quickly discovered through the new mutual connection how to only navigate Lena's mind, and also prevent her from seeing what he did not want her to. He had every right to his own privacy, it was just new to not have complete access. It was never a responsibility she abused, but she did not like it when Peter kept things from her.

"You kept a lot of things from me," he winked and kept doing his math. She rolled her eyes.

"You know why-"

"Yeah, yeah. You're right," he sighed, "Mr. Stark gave me the 'dad talk,'" he put air quotations around "dad talk." She saw a recent memory flash across Peter's brain; a menacing, middle-aged man in a car, and Peter's body filling with rage and fear. Even with the memory, the term completely lost her.

"Your da-I mean Mr. Stark. Mr. Stark doesn't want me to get you hurt in any way. So-"

"Why would I get hurt? I can take care of myself."

"No not physically hurt-"

"Is that not kind of odd to assume that I cannot take care of myself?"

Peter hesitated, struggling to find what he was trying to say, "Neither of us meant it like that. You make a great point, though. You're very capable of taking care of yourself."

"Then how did you mean it?”

"Emotionally. Negative emotions can be painful. You've seen all of those romance movies with May and me," Peter's lips were growing tight.

She recalled the genre, specifically remembering a film where after getting broken up with, a young woman spent three months of her life in a depression. She cried, isolated herself, and essentially ruined her own life. She never wanted to become a shell of a human. Life had become refreshing for her, and Peter played a large role in that. He was a part of her purpose in life. Every bit of her DNA was meant to be with him. Anxiety took ahold of her as the thought of him leaving her sat in her brain.

"No! Lena!" he grabbed the hand that had been sitting in her lap, "I'm not going anywhere."

The anxiety faded, and a softness replaced it, Peter's kind eyes confirming that everything would end up working out.

...

Lena made it back home by 10:00 PM, knowing that she probably was not going to fall asleep that night. Typically, at the most, she spent 4 hours sleeping, and that still felt like a lot.

On her way up to her bedroom, Tony's AI, F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke up, almost startling her.

"Miss Potts, Mr. Stark would like to see you in his garage."

Lena frowned, wishing to spend some time with just herself. She plopped her bag onto her bed and took the elevator to the main floor, walking outside to get to the building where Tony kept all of his cars, his Iron Man suits, and the AIs that operated whatever his current project was. There were nights where after Lena had finished her fight training for the day where she would come and sit in the shop: sometimes silently, sometimes asking questions about what he was doing. It bonded them in a subtle way.

"Kid," he said as she pressed her hand on the sensor to get into the room.

"Tony," there was an edge to her voice. She had not liked the way he and Peter had argued on the Midtown Tech football field, and she was wedged in between their silly fight. There was no side for her to take, she just wanted them both to get along and work together.

"You sound ticked. Everything okay?" Tony was concerned, but Lena could not decipher why.

"I am okay. Is there something you needed from me? I have homework," it was a white lie, but a lie, still. She just needed to relax in her pool, let her mind meld with the water. She did not want to spend her free time getting lectured.

Tony kept working, not looking up at her, "Take a seat."

She let out a sigh and sat, watching him hammer into a piece of metal. Looking at him, still frowning, she took the nanotech bead that she had put in her pocket and let it tie her hair up, annoyed with it continuously falling in her face and sitting on her neck.

"You're smart, kiddo. I don't want you seeing me as the bad guy."

"I do not-”

"Peter and I go back and forth because we are both passionate people," he gave the metal a final whack and set the hammer down. He wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead and made eye contact with Lena. "One day, I'll teach you how to drive. You'll take driver's ed. They're going to drill it into your head that the only way to get better at it is through experience," he was making gestures with his hands, using it as a method to get his point across. "My point is that sometimes it's hard for him to see the big picture. Where I see you two getting hurt, he sees a new mission. Which will be great once he's had more experience, but all he needs is that experience."

She saw his point. She had seen his point even before he had spoken it. All she wanted was for Tony to say that to Peter, rather than get irritated in the middle of a situation. She bit at the inside of her mouth and locked her jaw. She was not in a particular mood to squabble. Her counter argument could be brought to his attention tomorrow morning.

"You are making sense.”

"Good!" Tony's shoulders released their tension, and he tapped a few times on the holographic screen in front of his face, then shut it down, it disintegrating. "School tomorrow?"

"Yeah. They are questioning all the kids that got sent home yesterday."

"What's your alibi?"

"I tranced them into thinking that we left before getting to the lunchroom. You pulled us both out of class for something that had to do with the press."

"Anything specific?"

"If I got too specific the trance would thin and be easier to see through. It is similar to lying."

Tony snickered, "Okay. If people ask, say it was your Teen Vogue feature."

"The one coming out next month?"

"Yeah. Teenagers generally won't question it."

"You are going to generalize all teenagers?"

He had been putting away his tools and calibrating some of his AIs, and hearing the combative phrase brought him to a halt, "I guess so, yeah.”

"The human brain is extremely various. Every thought process of each human being is so vastly different that it would be nearly impossible to generalize any sort of human population."

Tony smiled, a warm genuine smile and Lena felt the pride. It was strong and open, he wanted her to feel it. He did not fully understand her empathic abilities, but once in a while, he made extra effort to let her know how he was feeling. He was not skilled in verbalizing his emotions, but he definitely felt them.

"That's a good observation. That observation may question the entirety of what sociology is, but it was smart regardless.”

Lena let herself stare at the relaxed expression in Tony's face that was so extremely rare, then pushed herself out of her chair, standing.

"I am going to go to bed now.”

"Goodnight, kid."

@tonyintexas @plushparker @spideyboipete @darlintom @rainbow-marvel @keepingupwiththeparkers @m4shtyx @quietgeekygirl @bigunknownpolice @butwhyduh @shamelessbookaddict @spiderlingsweb @mendes-vuitton @roses-hxlland @sectumsempra-beaches @suncityparker @pbnjparker @saturn-aka-six @spirit-and-oppy @eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy @jenniegs @fandom-centric-moron @theestrangeddreamer @everybasicwhitegirl @kateelyse96 @captainbuckyy @thescarsweleave @facial-hair-bros @gendryia @hazsterfield @pennywebby @hollandroos @spideyjlaw @doc-sledge @emilymarie0422 @mix-force @drunkmarvel @pvnk-bitch @nasa-parker @astrospideys @therealwatermelon @xalohamorabitchx @dtftomholland @lovelyspidey @lilbeatlebear @spideykiddo @the-claire-bitch-project @hollandfieldblurbs @starlightfound @thatoneannoyinghighschoolnerd @smilexcaptainx @rycbrar97 @emmaofvenus @6gotosleep9 @ispiderdudei @josierosie @fratboievans @liz-gayllen @astronomyparkers @naturallytom @mellowstudent-stuff @stuckonspidey @doctorextrastrange @raspberryparker @ganseysblues @neptuneparker @arewegroot @just-dont-freeze @merrynewtmasx

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