#I need to outlive everyone else

[king-of-havoc]

What's the difference between being self aware and completely overthinking everything? Which one am I?

[vampcaprisun]

planning out a new tav who's eventually going to be with halsin and i can't decide if i want him to also romance astarion yet. i think they'd work really well together, but i've heard that if you romance someone else alongside halsin, they don't give you the chance to go with him at the end and i wanted this tav to be able to do that. at this point i'm just way too indecisive to choose.

[chaotic-orphan]

lmfaoo I'm sorry but it's genuinely so funny to see how many asks you've gotten on Ambrose's fuck life that I'm seriously considering writing some fanfic of my own (idk if that's ever gonna happen, just a thought. But ofc only if u say yes) but yeah the way everyone's heads just EXPLODED over this is hilarious. Anyways hope you have a good day!! xxx

OMG AHAHAHAHHAHA PLEASE DO!!!!! And tag me so I can reblog it!!!! That would be hilarious, please!!!! You’d be a hero

No Ambrose’s fuck life (which I fucking love the way that’s phrased XD) really made everyone kind of lose it (myself included) and I think he would be delighted at how he’s living rent free in our heads

[alchemylive]

writing a list of people for whom love is real to remind myself that its possible

[yetanotherexhaustedalchemist]

IDK if this is still being debated but the argument about whether Malleus overblotted because of Lilia or because of Yuu leaving to just... be so unnecessary? 

I think that the big issue a lot of people had were the overzealous Malleyuu shippers insisting that he overblotted because of Yuu. And I mean, yeah, that's fair, but I just??

Personally, I think the issue wasn't just Lilia leaving or just Yuu leaving, it was that he was suddenly losing everyone. Lilia is his parental figure and the only thing consistent in his life, and Yuu was the first person to get to know Malleus for himself. Yes, he has Silver and Sebek - but they're mortal and he'll outlive them by centuries, and he knows this. Also, they were raised to respect him and be awed by him, like everyone else in Briar Valley. To Yuu, he was just Tsunotarou / Hornton. To Lilia, he's the child of his best friends and his adoptive son. 

The argument of whether Lilia or Yuu is more important to Malleus is just silly to me. They're equally important, just different. Whether you personally see Malleus and Yuu's relationship to be purely platonic or romantic, it doesn't matter. Yuu gave him a sense of normalcy that he couldn't find anywhere else, and that's important. Yuu is every bit as important to Malleus as Lilia is.

Maybe, if it was just Lilia or just Yuu leaving, maybe it would have been okay. Malleus wouldn't be okay, obviously, but I don't think he would have been pushed to the point of overblotting. At least he would have had Lilia or Yuu still with him. I think he overblotted because of the sudden loss of all of his most important relationships. He overblotted because he couldn't bear being alone again.

Compared to his expected lifetime, he'll lose both Silver and Sebek soon, so there are two connections he knows are on borrowed time. Yuu (while also human) is different, being from a different world with no preconceived biases to view him one way or another - and they're going to leave now, too. Lilia, who is the longest bond Malleus has, is now going off to die in a far off land.

The most important relationships Malleus has, different but all needed - they're all disappearing, one after another.

[sleepiercreature]

I need angst of Farcille outliving one another but it's not Marcille who outliving Falin. I need Marcille to be struck by one of the random chances of life and to have her time cut short. Dramatically short. Like Chilchuck is going to be able to attend her funeral short. I need her and everyone around her to grapple with her mortality coming way sooner than she or anyone else expected. I need Falin to stop her travels and for her to be there for Marcille in this, I need her to say that she wishes she could have taken Marcille everywhere she had been. Or maybe she doesn't get the message in time and she has to learn about it second hand. She was expecting to see Marcille next time she was back and now she never will again. I need Falin to realize that her time merged with the dragon did extend her lifespan and

Does anyone hear me or am I alone on this barren earth

[michinekot]

What do u like about thistle?

I'll start off with his design because it's not so spoiler-heavy.

He's short, cute, a total menace and has the cutest evil grin ever. I certainly have a thing for villains... But also generally, jesters are fun and I usually love their outfits. Thistle is no exception, I love all of his looks (but I'm not gonna look for them all through the manga...) and how different he is after becoming the Dungeon Master. Also, white hair, purple eyes & outfit... (´,,•ω•,,)♡

I must also add, I adore how the author draws elf ears pointed upwards and how expressive her art is. Absolutely amazing, all the angry Thistles are great.

Now I'll get into heavy spoiler territory, I'll go over the ending too:

First off, I really like how he shows his love through "eternity", much like Marcille. Elves who love people of other races suffer because they will undoubtedly outlive everyone else. The way Thistle and Marcille are similar is so great to see... and I think it's great that Marcille wasn't made out to be a terrible, selfish villain and neither was Thistle. Through her becoming the Dungeon Master, we see how much this power changes them.

He meant well and his wish wasn't initially selfish. He didn't even wish for eternal live, just a peaceful one. Of course, the Winged Lion dug deeper into it and the selfish part came to light.

And because no one was aware of the danger, it became absolute truth to Thistle that he's doing the right thing and making everyone happy. His dream was everybody else's dream in his mind. And I think it's nice how much he must've paid attention to the townsfolk needs, because...

He must've done so much to make the Dungeon liveable and safe for the people he cares about. All those traps were to ward off people who (he assumed) must've been just like the ones who came to destroy the kingdom. On the other hand, he saw opportunity in the monsters and had people take care of them like they did with their farm animals. It was unnecessary, he didn't have to do that since they don't need to sleep, eat or drink. But he knew that they weren't happy doing nothing at all and put a lot of thought into the ecosystem (compared to Marcille, which is understandable, but y'know. I think it's great to see the difference since her monsters werent very, uh... thought out?)

It's been SO many years of stagnation, they can't even taste the food or enjoy anything.

He's aware, he'd enjoy a little change of pace too, he's open to it! but the desire to protect everyone wins.

He just... loves everyone so much. His platonic love isn't simple at all. He did so much for everyone. And after losing his desires... I feel like he hasn't lost his love for everyone.

I think that, maybe... he feels like everything was fullfilled? He's been angry and anxious for so long and now there's nothing to worry about anymore. I'm really sad for him, but there's no going back to "normal" after everything. But I'm glad Yaad doesn't hate him. I don't think anyone from the kingdom truly hates him.

Also this page makes me want to cry...... he's holding him so gently and Thistle only looks tired and like he wants to sleep. I hope he finds his place in the new world and lives out the rest of his life peacefully.

I haven't read much of the additional stuff yet, but I also think about Mithrun a lot.

I think Mithrun was extremely selfish in his desires and that's why, aside from them, his eye and ears were taken away. It might be just the demon's will because it wasn't exactly the Winged Lion, but all demons are technically the same one(? from what I understood...). The only desire left within Mithrun was about the demon, but in the end, it still seemed selfish.

But neither Marcille or Thistle were physically hurt after having desires taken from them. The Winged Lion also said something along the lines of "this is for everyone, I want everyone's desires to be fullfilled for all eternity". It didn't like Thistle because he stagnated, but it probably understood him a little bit, since he mostly thought of others. But there was no way to manipulate him into thinking about Anyone outside of the kingdom. Only Laios managed to talk a tiny bit of sense into him... but it still didn't work out.

So yeah, Dungeon Meshi is amazing and I generally love everyone, but Thistle speaks to me the most because... his top priority was protecting those he loves, freeing them from death and pain, living out the life they had on the surface forever. And this feels personal to me- I lost both of my parents and the friends I cared about the most left me. So like, if we ditch all the (totally right) talk about how there's no happiness without pain and such, I get Thistle. He meant well. He's a very well done character. :)

[b1adie]

looking into it i think yingxing would have been fire hunt. he’s hunt for sure considering his main thing was hatred of abominations of abundance anyway but he was trained by huaiyan who is known as ‘the flaming heart’ on the zhuming. people and heliobi hang out together there. flint emperor is there. they use the flint emperor’s flame to forge weapons. the forge is called flamedisk forge. lots of fire stuff. so if he learned there he should be fire element. also makes sense with blade’s trailer showing that he is the single candle still lit despite the rest having gone out. would be cool if he had bluish/teal fire bc heliobi and whatnot.

i was gonna say something about how his skill could be him like heating up his sword as one would to forge it (but not THAT hot obviously) and now im thinking about how with blade’s skill he turns his sword from black to red? he is forging that thing. also crazy that that sword weighs like 300lbs and he launched it through the air like a frisbee and dan heng got impaled with it and hardly even stumbled. how strong are these guys. OOOH or yingxing could have a FLAMETHROWERRR thing. he made awesome shit and everyone loved him ok? i know he’s never going to be playable as old man furnace master yingxing but i am just imagining if he was… hehe. arrogant craftsman. god they need to let me see/hear more of him like that. I WANT TO SEE OTHER WEAPONS HE MADE I WANT TO SEE HIM SMILE AND BE PROUD AND ANNOYING!!!!!! OLD MAN NOW!!!!!!

anyways fire/hunt yingxing. imaginary/hunt would be cute and fire/destruction makes sense too and obviously most characters playable paths dont line up with their actual beliefs but idc he seems very hunt to me. i miss him. you guys remember when he said “be careful, high elder, lest you hurt yourself with it.” that was some crazy shit. show me geriatric bladie again pleeeease. blade companion mission better be 6 hours long and at least 100k words and 2 cinematics. i’ll wait. give me his life story all 800 years of it. well i guess that’d be like

age 0-7: love my family. sure hope the beasts don’t arrive!

age 8-15: beasts ate my planet. went somewhere else they are teaching me shit here

age 16-30: i am the best at the shit i was taught. idc that everyone is rude to me about it cuz they can be rude but they can’t beat meeeee 😋

age 31-70: im still the best and now i’m hanging out with my immortal friends yay :) they’re all going to outlive me but that’s for the best i think. Right guys?

age 71-800: Ow ow ow ouch ow. Where the fuck am i btw & who the fuck am i as well. Oh well guess ill stick a branch in my hair

age 801+: kidnapped by robot and woman but it’s fine. girl keeps asking me to play games with her even though i tell her i’m busy cutting my hand off each and every day. beast upon my shoulder saying ‘Meow’ frequently. unsure of the implications of this. robot here sometimes. i like it. woman tells me to stop foaming at the mouth so i do because i respect women. except ONE OF THEM. (can’t remember which one right now). branch growing from my stomach again. not my problem. i will be taking a week long nap now.

but i want 6 hours and 100k words of it with pictures and voice acting as proof.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Descent - ao3

Pairing: Lan Qiren/Wen Ruohan Summary:

Lan Qiren was old. Lan Qiren was tired.

------------

Lan Qiren was old.

Lan Qiren had pain in his body that would never leave him. Lan Qiren had pain in his heart that grew worse by the day. Lan Qiren had one nephew in seclusion, still, and one who did not speak with him, preferring the company of his husband over everyone else in their sect – over everyone else, period. His obsession seemingly permitted little closeness to any of his blood kin, no cousins, no nephews, nothing; even the juniors who were no longer juniors were closer to Wei Wuxian than Lan Wangji, for all that they still idolized him. Lan Qiren had spent his entire life being his sect’s acting leader and exactly none of it enjoying it.

Lan Qiren was old. Lan Qiren was tired.

Lan Qiren was too tired to teach any longer.

Lan Qiren was too tired to live any longer.

Lan Qiren closed his eyes every evening and woke up every morning without fail.

Lan Qiren did not understand why.

He was old – too old, really. His cultivation was good, but nothing particularly special, and yet he kept on going, and going, and going, long past the point of reason. His peers in the other Great Sects had all died unnatural deaths, but at the rate he was going, he was going to outlive all of his peers, period.

And when they were all gone, he might keep it up, and outlive his juniors, too.

Lan Qiren was tired.

Lan Qiren was full of regret.

Lan Qiren went to sleep as he always did, and then he opened his eyes the way he always did –

But everything was different.

His body, which had ached ever since his torture at the burning of the Cloud Recesses, did not hurt.

His surroundings, which had been ever so subtly but distinctly wrong since the Cloud Recesses had been rebuilt in ways that tried but failed to match his memories, had resumed the appearance they had had in the first half of his life.

His nephews…

His nephews were still young.

Teenagers, though he could not tell on sight exactly how old; it had been too long. They pretended to be so serious, particularly Lan Wangji, but compared to their adult selves, they seemed in Lan Qiren’s eyes to be so very light. So unburdened.

He was in the past.

The Cloud Recesses had not yet burned. Lan Xichen had not yet based his emotional stability on the goodness of a young man he met while on the run. Lan Wangji had not yet loved and lost – or at least he had not yet lost, since it was entirely possible that Wei Wuxian had already come and gone and taken Lan Wangji’s heart with him while he was at it.

Lan Qiren was in the past.

Lan Qiren did not know how it had happened, but his every sense confirmed that it was so.

Lan Qiren had the chance to change everything.

He only needed to strain his memory and dig up everything he could about the Sunshot Campaign. He only needed to figure out what parts of the past to change and what parts to keep – what tragedies he could prevent, and which ones he couldn’t, and which ones had to be tolerated because to go another way would lead only to something worse. The burning of the Cloud Recesses, his brother’s death, Lan Xichen’s terrible flight and subsequent fateful meeting with Meng Yao, Lan Wangji’s broken leg and the indoctrination camp, the destruction of the Jiang sect, Wei Wuxian as the Yiling Patriarch, Meng Yao as spy…all that tragedy, all that sorrow, and every piece of it potentially inextricably connected to some other potentially invaluable piece, without which life might not be worth living.

Lan Qiren…

Lan Qiren was tired.

He was tired, and he was old.

He had to change things. That much was unquestionable.

But he did not have to change them like that.

“Inform the elders that I am going on a short trip,” he told one of the disciples with a no-longer-familiar face that passed by his door, doing his best not to guess whether this was one of the ones that died in the burning or in the war or thereafter. “I will be departing immediately. I do not require company.”

“Yes, Teacher Lan,” the disciple said respectfully. “I will tell them at once. Do you want me to summon your nephews so that you can bid them farewell?”

Had Lan Qiren done that, once upon a time, so long ago, and done it often enough that this disciple would know to ask about it? Had his nephews appreciated it when he did, or at least tolerated it, or had they treated his efforts to include them in his life as a burden, the way he knew they would in the future?

He could no longer remember.

“No,” Lan Qiren said. “It is a short trip. I will not disturb them.”

The disciple saluted.

Lan Qiren left.

He flew in the general direction of Qinghe for a while, no longer willing to blindly assume that his orders would be obeyed and that he was not being followed. When he had confirmed he was truly alone, perhaps because of how quickly he had departed, he turned his sword to Qishan instead, and went to the Nightless City.

“I do not have an appointment or an invitation,” he said to the guard that waited outside the gate. “But I wish to speak with Sect Leader Wen regardless.”

The door guard’s expression suggested that this was a very foolish thing to want.

Lan Qiren did not disagree, familiar as he was with Wen Ruohan’s current state of mind – to be more specific, his increasing lack of sanity and equally increasing ambition – but he did not falter or change his request. He did not leave.

He waited.

Even as the time dragged on and on, he did not mind the insult, and he did not lose his temper.

He waited.

In time, he was allowed in, and shown to the receiving hall.

Wen Ruohan was sitting on the Wen sect’s main seat when he arrived. There were no servants or guards in the hall, but then, none were needed to make his appearance more intimidating: just him, the most powerful cultivator of their age, and him alone, looming above all the rest.

It was enough.

It was more than enough.

In Lan Qiren’s entire life, he had never known anyone who could match Wen Ruohan in all his might and glory. Even Wei Wuxian in the height of his glory, with all his demonic cultivation, had only been able to contend with the Wen armies, rather than the man himself; Wen Ruohan himself had remained within the Nightless City, easily repelling them all, even when they had all tried to attack him all together at once.  

In the end, he had only fallen to a strike from within.

“Sect Leader Lan,” Wen Ruohan said. His voice was rich and slow, thick with menace and unspoken threat. “And without any advance notice, too…What an unexpected surprise.”

Lan Qiren saluted politely, but did not apologize.

“What emergency brings you here?”

Here of all places, Wen Ruohan meant. His gaze was as steady as a snake about to strike its prey.

“No emergency,” Lan Qiren said steadily. “A question.”

“A question?” Wen Ruohan didn’t so much as blink. “How interesting. One that only I can answer, I suppose. By all means, then, go on, tell me: what is your question?”

Lan Qiren looked up at him, meeting those blazing red eyes with his own steady, unshaken gaze.

“What will it take?” he asked.

Wen Ruohan arched his eyebrows. He seemed unmoved, even bored, as if he had anticipated all the potential paths this conversation could take and found them all equally dull. “What do you mean? What will it take – what will what take?”

“What will it take,” Lan Qiren said patiently, “for you to stop?”

Wen Ruohan frowned.

Apparently he hadn’t anticipated everything.

Strange. To Lan Qiren’s mind, it was all perfectly logical.

“I do not want to burn,” Lan Qiren said, and Wen Ruohan’s eyes abruptly narrowed. “I do not want to be tortured, to lose my home, or for my family to suffer unimaginably. I have come here to ask you how I can prevent that.”

Wen Ruohan was silent for a long while.

“Now that is indeed a question,” he finally said. He seemed thoughtful. “Doesn’t your sect have a rule against making assumptions?”

“It is not an assumption,” Lan Qiren said. He had forgotten much about the past, but he would never forget the smell of smoke, the crackling blaze, the screams. Nor would he forget upon whose orders it had been that it had happened at all. “It will happen. I do not know if you have already drawn up the plans or if that is still to come, but if we continue along our present path, it will happen. You will send your army to burn the Cloud Recesses as a demonstration of your power and as warning to all the Great Sects, telling us to bow before you or face the consequences.”

Wen Ruohan did not deny it. Perhaps the plans really were already in place.

“I do not want to burn,” Lan Qiren said once more. “Tell me what I must do to prevent it, and I will.”

Wen Ruohan seemed to be waiting for him to continue, but Lan Qiren did not. He had no more to say.

“What, is that all?” Wen Ruohan finally asked. The faint traces of surprise on his face made him seem oddly human, in a way he had not been earlier. A sign of hope, perhaps, though maybe that was just Lan Qiren deceiving himself; he had grown far too good at that. “No conditions? No restrictions? ‘Tell me what I must do, as long as it’s not’…?”

Lan Qiren shook his head. He had come with no conditions.

“What if I asked you to surrender your sect to me?”

“I am only acting Sect Leader, and lack the authority to bind my sect,” Lan Qiren said promptly. He’d expected the question. “But I can submit a proposal to the elders asking them to agree to it and put forward all my strength to argue for it, if that is what you wish.”

“What if I asked you to murder someone for me?”

“I am a scholar, not an assassin,” Lan Qiren said. “But I have a sword, and I can use it if I must.”

Wen Ruohan’s gaze was thoughtful, and heavy.

“What if,” he said slowly, “I asked you to give yourself to me?”

Lan Qiren frowned – not in refusal, but in confusion. He did not understand.

“Is that not what I am already doing?” he asked, a little hesitantly. “I am here, asking for you to instruct me. I have made no conditions, imposed no restrictions, set in place no limits. If you ask me to violate my principles and my family’s rules, I will do so, though it breaks my heart. If you ask me to give up my sect’s freedom and autonomy, I will do so to the best of my ability, though I cannot promise to succeed. All I ask in return is that you not harm my family or act in a way that brings harm to them. What part of myself have I not already submitted to you? Or is it my life that you want..? If you want it, you may have it, freely offered.”

“I do not want your death, if that is what you mean,” Wen Ruohan said. “But I admit to having unexpectedly developed some interest in your life. Come here.”

Lan Qiren approached the seat – the throne, if he were being honest. Wen Ruohan saw himself as the ruler of the cultivation world, and the Nightless City reflected that belief. In his past life, Lan Qiren had visited this place a number of times before it had finally fallen, and he had never been permitted to approach as he did now; Wen Ruohan was too paranoid for that.

Perhaps Wen Ruohan no longer considered him a threat.

He was right not to.

Lan Qiren approached, then stopped at a respectful distance, only a few large strides away.

“Closer.”

Lan Qiren came closer, stopping only a small step or two away.

“Closer.”

Lan Qiren came to within arm’s length, until he was very nearly standing right before Wen Ruohan, their knees very nearly brushing against each other.

“Kneel.”

Lan Qiren knelt. He was too close to the other man to go into a full kowtow, as he knew Wen Ruohan preferred his servants and disciples to do, so he did not do so.

“Look at me.”

Lan Qiren looked up and met Wen Ruohan’s eyes.

“You never answered my question,” Wen Ruohan said, and Lan Qiren frowned. “If I agree to ensure that your sect is unharmed, your family does not suffer, your home does not burn…will you give yourself to me?”

“Yes,” Lan Qiren said. He still did not understand what exactly Wen Ruohan wanted, but that was immaterial, as long as his goal was obtained – as it seemed, impossibly, that it would be. “I will.”

“Good,” Wen Ruohan said. “Then we are agreed.”

And then he kissed him.

[queenofmalkier]

Moiraine being 70 vs 40

(Alright this one took me a minute because corralling my thoughts is a challenge in the best of times.)

To begin with I will admit... I am one of the people who was indifferent towards the age change in the beginning. They're Aes Sedai, they live nice, long lives, and I wasn't like, emotionally attached to a younger, canon-aged Moiraine. It does make her early years more poignant, but I'll touch on that later.

Primed for older Moiraine, the show started and after two seasons I can safely say I am so gung-ho for 70 year old Moiraine I might actually be feral.

Here's why I, personally, think it was an excellent choice: Rosamund Pike is 44 as of writing this, so she visibly fits into the book age. As an audience nobody is really questioning her age - a few show-onlys I watched season 1 with actually remarked on how refreshing it was to see an older female character allowed to just exist and be part of the narrative without trying to sex up and/or grandma-ize the role.

Little Did They Know.

So you've got an audience that's mostly accepting of this character being in her 40s, and then you hit them with "Oh she's 70 and lets explore just how horrific that fact actually is together, it'll be fun!"

It was not fun, it was gutting.

One of my main critiques of the book has always been how we have these long-lived women, powerful women... but we never really take much of a look at the reality of that concept. Nor are we given POV characters who are really old enough to remark on it. Pevara at least thinks about her family, but Cadsuane doesn't give two figs about hers.

And here's the thing... they're Aes Sedai, but they're still human. What happens to them as they get older, but the people who fill their life are the ones aging? How does it feel to watch a mother, a sister, a child, friends, acquaintances, EVERYONE succumb to time in a way you won't for a very long time after?

That has to be impactful and I wanted to see those stories - and the show delivered. Seeing Moiraine with Anvaere? Chilling, horrifying, heartbreaking. Liandrin and her boy? A kick in the teeth. Even Alanna with her family, knowing very well she's probably the oldest one sitting at that table.

The point is, being an Aes Sedai means being powerful and respected, but it also means living through a very specific kind of suffering and trauma. They're basically vampires in terms of lifespan and we should see how that shapes them.

In regards to Moiraine being older and therefore not basically a child during the foretelling, it does change that particular hit... but by no means did the show let the viewers not understand how that moment altered Moiraine's life forever.

Instead of her being sort of an unformed girl hardened and honed by a lifetime of searching for Rand, one who never got much chance to be anything else, we get a woman who was already beginning to build her life, who had achieved the shawl, found love, and was exactly where she wanted to be.

And then all of that is taken from her.

It's devastating to watch the double-barreled whammy of Siuan and Moiraine giggling about being fishwives and walking into what was in many ways their deaths. Because the Moiraine and Siuan they were before walking into that room were gone forever. They would never be able to go back to the women they were before. They never even had a chance to mourn that loss. Moiraine went hunting and Siuan set her sights on the Amyrlin Seat.

I do understand for a lot of people her age is a sticking point, and that is completely fair and valid! It's a change that I fully agree did not need to be made... but by making that change we're given such a stark insight into the lives of older Aes Sedai who are just beginning to experience what it means to outlive everyone they know, watching one by one as cherished friends and family members pass on.

Soon all they have left are the children and grandchildren of those people, fractured mirrors that are just enough of a hint at the original that it must be painful to know them - which explains even further why so many Aes Sedai cut off contact entirely with their families. It's too painful to keep them in their lives.

[dsmp-lainey]

changes i’ve made to the dsmp canon in my personal rewrite:

-c!sapnap is a cis woman who likes dressing masc, her story and personality stay the same she’s literally just a woman now lol

-c!eret and c!karl are both transfem (eret is non-binary she/they and karl is a trans woman)

-sally was NOT just a salmon she was a nymph who’s animal side was a salmon, fundy inherits his fox traits from her as that’s his animal side, he cannot shape shift like she could though

-c!eret and c!george are cousins who’s family lived on these lands for long before everyone else arrived, that’s why ruling them means so much to them. c!eret originally joined the revolution because wilbur said they would assist in taking back the crown once they were independent but once dream made the offer of the throne in return for betrayal eret took the quicker option. (also c!george also has cool glowing eyes in this because it’s a family trait, also both my c!george and c!eret are black, eret has very dark skin and wears long braids mostly, george is a little lighter and keeps his hair shaved short mostly)

-c!dream only has one canon life left from the first moment we meet him, we never know how he lost the others just that part of his obsessive need for control stems from his paranoia of losing his last life

-c!wilbur lied in the letters he wrote to c!phil during the revolution and in pogtopia, he never told phil he lost any of his canon lives, phil thought when he stabbed wilbur he would have enough time to haul his body off to a safe place to calm him down before he respawned, he was shocked and horrified when he saw that was wilbur’s final life

-c!wilbur is a lot less human than he presents himself to be, his father is an angel and his mother is a goddess, he has lived far longer than the age he appears already at the start of the smp and could likely far outlive most other characters in terms of natural lifespans. his refusal to wear armor is partially influenced by the fact that he heals far quicker than others, therefore his insistence on others not wearing armor is a rather selfish demand since he knows others are risking more than he is when going without.

-c!techno grew up under a horrible dictatorship, that’s the largest contributor to his anarchist beliefs. he wears his crown as a symbol of the fact that he will never let someone else rule him ever again.

-c!tommy is religious like in canon but he primarily chooses to worship Lady death (mumza/c!kristin), she has shown him her favor many times in various ways over the years and was who guided him to wilbur in the first place. tommy has a elevated level of both respect and fear for c!phil throughout the smp no matter what because he is deaths angel.

okayyyy those are just a couple of them but i hope y’all like, PLEASE let me know your thoughts and what other hc and story changes you personally have cause i love hearing them!

[cheriden]

「 txt in kindergarten 」 。。。

𐙚 SOOBIN

• Passes by his friends’ houses to collect them, walking together to school • Pouts whenever someone else takes something he’s set his eyes on but doesn’t say anything about it. He tells himself it’s fine, as long as they're happy • Only brings essentials to school, but overpacks on situational things he might need like band-aids and bug lotion/patches — “What if I get bitten by a THOUSAND mosquitoes today?!” • Loves to play with house toys, such as kitchenware with fancy wooden stoves. A bit stressed when someone comes along and plays beside him.  • At the playground he tries to conquer the seesaw. Unfortunately he is afraid the person on the other end might not let him down or catapult him into the air, so he just sits on it with nobody on the other side. • Lunchbox has every food group, sometimes even gets dessert when he’s behaved enough. Eats the longest because he may have to force himself to eat whatever he doesn’t like. • Favorite time of the day is nap time! Everyone is quiet and he gets to sleep, no complaints here

𐙚 YEONJUN

• In charge of looking both ways when crossing the road, grips hard when holding hands. • Overpacks toys and stationary, but still capable of forgetting something mildly important.  • Loves to play with building blocks and matching games/puzzles. • At the playground he’s at the top of the slide, ruling over his minions and most likely hogging it. • Likes to trade lunches with other kids, particular about the quality to quantity ratio. Expert at haggling. — “I’m taking more from you because my dish is harder to prepare and has more ingredients! Maybe if you give me a piece of your sides, I’ll consider it.” • Favorite time of the day is recess! Likes mingling with other kids, there is no set agenda so he could talk about or do anything

𐙚 BEOMGYU

• Strays and wanders away from the walking group, sometimes gets lost. • Things are heavily personalized, same unsure handwriting that says "beomgyu" on every item he owns, and as much as possible they’re all the same color or have the same character.  • Erasers are the gel fruit ones that get lost (or eaten) • Loves to play with very select plushies, may throw a tantrum if he doesn’t have it with him • At the playground he can be found in sandboxes, making castles and pretending to be a monster. • Steps on other kids’ work in the process. Sometimes it’s an accident, most times it's intentional — “I didn’t destroy your castle because it’s better than mine, which is a lie. I destroyed it because I’m godzilla.” • Brags about all of the snacks and candies his parents gave him (or what he takes from the cupboard) • Favorite time of the day is arts class! A subject where he can be as loud and messy as he wants for the sake of whatever project he’s making that day.

𐙚 TAEHYUN

• Has a map in his bag in case they forget the route • Loves to talk about his surroundings, eyes glistening when others ask follow up questions • Always asks questions in class, he’s so attentive !! • Complete stationery set, including a cool pencil case with a built in sharpener. Will let others borrow but will ask why they need it, asking every other second if he can have it back because he’s afraid they’ll lose it or keep it • Loves to play with interactive books, pop-ups and especially ones where you can feel the texture of things. • At the playground he loves being on the swing sets, telling other children to wait their turn or when 5 minutes have passed to let others have a chance on the swing. — “Your time was up two minutes ago! Why am I still here? I’m the reason you get turns in the first place!” • Always eats whatever his parents have prepared for him, boasts about being healthy and outliving everyone else. • Favorite time of the day is math class! Since math class is technically indirect and simple arithmetics, such as adding apples, sometimes it’s easy to cheat (count on his fingers)

𐙚 HUENINGKAI

• Stops to look at all the fauna and flora, squealing and telling those around him. My little arthropod lover! • Extensive art set that gets everyone's attention, other kids love to borrow from him and he can be kind of a pushover. Unfortunately, they end up losing them. • Loves to play with anything colorful that makes sound, such as a rainbow xylophone • At the playground he loves the roundabout, but he’s too shy to get on. He patiently waits for someone to invite him to ride, so instead he pushes the others around. • Tries to eat his lunch quickly in case someone might ask him to share. He will, but he will sulk a lot. It was prepared for him! • Favorite time of the day is music class! Generally this is a time where everyone just makes noise, but most eyes are on him when he learns a new toy instrument. He doesn’t like the attention, but it’s not so bad either. — “This? Oh, I guess it’s just easy for me. wait, sorry! I didn't mean to brag.... When I want to hear a sound, my hands move on my own to do it! Teach you? Um I’m not really good at that… But sure!”

i saw that pic of them in the unifs and imagined little tubatu crossing the street hand in hand :(

thank you for reading! feedback, reblogs and tags appreciated♡

[miss-anachronism]

for requests. i need. valen x male magister merlin. im a sucker for this guy. anything really. thank you!

Ooh, I’ve never read an x reader/MC fic, let alone written one! New territory, as exciting as it is scary.

I’m not so sure I have a good grip on Valen’s character, but I tried to write it from his perspective. I hope this suits your needs! It gets a bit philosophical. And sorry if its OOC :,)

He isn’t sure what to think, really.

They’re sitting around a dying campfire, just outside the borders of the Dark Forest. Lorsan is pacing somewhere in the distance, muttering to himself, or to the wind, maybe. Trying to figure out what’s happened to his home. Korin leans against a tree, tending to his wounds- courtesy of Merlin. The magister himself is across from Valen, wrapping his own wound and chattering with his hamsters.

Logically, Valen knows that the lesson he should have taken from this scramble is a lot more profound than what’s been on his mind. He should be contemplating the Wilders, the forest, their next steps, how to protect the refugees. And he’s trying to, but it’s just that something- someone- keeps catching his attention.

He didn’t know Merlin could bleed.

It’s such a silly observation. But as Valen watches the angry red wound on Merlin’s forearm, his gut twists. It’s like seeing a god’s flesh tear, and seeing that its blood is the same bright red as his own.

Valen isn’t sure what exactly Merlin is. As far as he knows, no one does, not even Merlin himself. But to the average young Lightbearer, he’s a myth. A legendary figure that you might glimpse once in your life, but would never get to meet. Never speak with, let alone camp alongside. Fight alongside. Merlin throws his head back to laugh at something Chippy has said, and something stirs in Valen’s ribs, something he knows is dangerous.

All of this is dangerous. Merlin is not someone to be loved; Valen has seen what happened to Mirael. Forgotten about, left in the dust, accidentally as it was. The way she watches Merlin, her face made of mixed admiration, bitterness, and regret. He wonders if she would take it all back, if she could. Scariest of all, when she bid them farewell, the look in her eyes sent an ugly pain of jealousy through Valen’s chest. And he doesn’t want that to happen to him, selfish as that may be. Every time Merlin falls asleep, he risks waking up knowing nothing.

Besides, what is Valen to a hero of myth? His whole life has been barely a blink in Merlin’s. Whatever he is, there is no reasonable way Valen could ever mean something to Merlin the way that Merlin is beginning to mean something to him. Merlin will outlive him a thousand times over. And he’s probably met a thousand different people, fallen in love with quite a few of them. Someone who has experienced so much life, so much loss, can they still love? Could they ever?

And yet, he bleeds. It’s such a human weakness that it seems impossible. Valen knew heroes could bleed; he didn’t know gods could. Merlin does not go about the world serene and calculating, watching every moment with practiced ease. He stumbles, laughs, misses with his spells. He jostles Valen’s pauldron excitedly when they win a fight, he’s the last to flee when they lose, ensuring everyone else has disengaged safely. He has only one dimple, on his left cheek. Sometimes he speaks so fast his words blend together, and Hammie has to remind him to slow down. It’s endearing. It’s human. Valen doesn’t know what to do with it. Because it was so much easier, to write off affection as admiration. When the pieces had first clicked, he thought it all made sense. The natural pull that the magister gave off- yes, of course, it was just Merlin’s nature. But they’re a week into this camaraderie, and Valen keeps noticing things like the lick of hair on his neck that doesn’t sit flat.

Pretty fucking annoying, that’s what it is. Valen’s always prouded himself on his ability to swerve out of love’s path. He can flirt and charm all he wants, but at the end of the day all the love letters he receives are ink and paper, nothing more. Whenever someone seriously reciprocates- god forbid- he disengages as smoothly as he can, lest they get the wrong impression.

But Merlin has changed all that, somehow. Impossibly so. He supposes it’s in his nature, to take everything and turn it upside down. Valen doesn’t want to flirt with the Magister, to laugh as he flushes under his praise. Well, it would be nice, he always has liked the attention; but the thing is, that isn’t the point. With Merlin, he just wants to be. No performance, no elaborate courtship. Just… be. Together. All this, for someone who is more myth than man.

It seems like the scariest thing he’s ever faced.

“Valen?”

He jumps as the magister suddenly speaks, and realizes with mounting embarrassment that he’s been staring the whole time. Luckily, the magister grins good-naturedly- and ah, there’s that dimple again.

“Lost in thought?”

“You could say that.”

He leans back on his hands and forces his face into a smirk. It’s easier than he anticipated; despite everything, Merlin makes it simple to be around him.

“I’ve been meaning to say,” Merlin mirrors his position as Chippy and Hammie scuttle away, the former setting off on a quest to climb the nearest tree, “I really appreciate your help in all of this. Coming along, and aiding me- far past your assigned duties. It isn’t lost to me.”

Valen gives him a look. “Of course, magister. I’m not one to leave danger to fester; I’m sorry you ever had that impression of me.”

“No, it’s not that, it’s…” Merlin’s brow furrows as he collects his thoughts. “You know, you seem so… charmingly nonchalant. Like nothing bothers you. But that clearly isn’t true. You care a lot, Valen, and it’s really, really nice to see. You’re someone who is just… good, you know? And I appreciate it.” He grins sheepishly. “Sorry. Kinda cheesy compliment. I’ve lost all my memories, you know, but being around you- and Lorsan, Cassadee, Mirael- honestly, I don’t feel like I’m missing much of anything. Everything I need is right here.”

He shrugs and turns back to the fire, as if he has not sent Valen’s mind reeling. Functionally, Merlin has been aware for only a week- one week out of thousands of years. He’s wondered how he’s been so calm about the whole thing, and…

And it’s hard to believe, but it’s much harder to doubt what Merlin says, not as he stares into the fire with that soft smile. It dawns on Valen that he probably knows more about Merlin than Merlin does- all of the legends, at least. And yet, despite that insurmountable legacy, despite the name and title that bears unimaginable weight, Merlin is… content. Content in just moving forward, and hoping he’s doing the right thing.

And isn’t that all that Valen’s doing, as well? He doesn’t deserve all this praise; he always shies away from large displays of gratitude, loathing how awkward they make him feel. Because he’s just moving forward, and trying to do the right thing. It’s a simple motive, really. Faith, and what effort it takes to retain it. He always thought Merlin would have some deeper, existential knowledge of the world that would put all else to shame- access to the secrets of the universe, and what not. And, certainly, his magical capabilities are second to none- but his philosophy, the way he lives; it very well might be human after all.

Maybe the usual Merlin, the one with all his memories, is the knowledgeable, immovable sage that Valen grew to look up to. Maybe, once restored, Merlin will become that god-like fairytale hero, wisdom surpassing all others, power knowing no ends.

Selfishly, Valen hopes that never happens. That the Merlin in front of him stays the same, annoying dimple and all, and keeps looking at Valen like that. Like he sees something in him that Valen never knew was there. He hopes Merlin never raises above their quips, their banter.

He know’s it’s all in vain. But god, he hopes.

[dark-side-blog3]

I feel like if you want to escape the house of lamentation, you have to be REAL careful what method you use.

If you make Leviathan or Asmodeus bored of you— not hate! Just bored, and make them realize they would get more of a reaction from someone else, spending time to show them some prime examples of partners while also showing that when you do try you just can’t compete, and they’re ultimately putting too much effort into a relationship that even if you agree to, you just aren’t going to give them enough… If you bore them, you’ll walk away scot free.

However, boring them won’t work with everyone. Some of them you have to make hate you. Lucifer for example would be able to find contentment in a less than glamorous life with you. So, you need to do your best to just be horrible for his image. Every intimate act is public and you gush over him, lowering your self worth and by extension: his. He can’t be associated with someone who embarrasses him so often when he tries to be nice, in his roundabout way. And you shouldn’t be telling everyone his business!

Mammon is a bit trickier, because he’s got such a tolerance for being bullied, and for cringe, so you can’t embarrass him. But you can nag him on his faults constantly, throw away parts of his hoard with the reasoning that it’s “unsanitary” and trying to “tidy up” his room. Always rat him out to debt collectors, demand he throw away the biohazard’s in his room, discreetly deep clean his car and throw out any trash you find. Don’t be cruel to him, it’ll only make him cling harder despite being unhappy. But make it known that if you are in his space, his things aren’t safe. And he’ll slowly pull away, years at a time. Try to remain friends, knowing full well you won’t be. He’ll find it too weird, given his previous obsession and possessive tendencies to you.

And again: you have to be really, really careful what method you choose. Because if you over or under do it, any of them may just become worse.

For example, it’s best to make Beel feel like you can protect yourself for the most part, and he only needs to step in occasionally. Don’t feed into his delusions, but don’t deny them outright. Let him feel like the best way to help you is to be distant. Because if Beelzebub feels disillusioned with you, you’re not going to have a more obsessed demon.

Beel, if throughly annoyed and no longer enamoured with you, will stop seeing you as this whimsical and cunning human, and will begin to just see you as human. You’re about as special as any other human, about as in need of protection. But that doesn’t change your species. Did those other humans have interests, hobbies, ideology, friends, family, a vision for their life? Maybe. But that never stopped him before.

You were kept alive, like one might keep a pet pig or chicken. And though you can put a ribbon on it, it is what it is in the end. And since you’ve outlived your purpose as anything else: Beelzebub is going to eat you.

[noahsresources]

HURT / COMFORT STATEMENTS THAT HIT ME RIGHT IN THE FEELS

pardon me please, i'm just having a moment. possible tw for suicidal ideation and references to death and loss. bonus points for specifying a scenario!

from those who are struggling. ❝ i never thought i'd ever make it this far. ❞ ❝ ... when were you going to tell me about this? ❞ ❝ i don't ever want you to die. please ... don't die ... ❞ ❝ we had our whole lives planned out. ❞ ❝ i just can't, it's too much. it's too fucking much. ❞ ❝ losing him/her/them was the cruelest thing i've ever experienced. ❞ ❝ people say things like, 'you're going green with envy', or 'there's smoke coming out of your ears'. you think they'd come up with a statement like that that describes someone who's in constant pain like this ... ? ❞ ❝ sometimes you need to make room for grief. make time for it. embrace it. it's all i've been doing as of late. ❞ ❝ how is it possible to hurt this much when nothing's wrong? ❞ ❝ drowning in sadness is more fulfilling than drowning in pleasure these days. ❞ ❝ it's hard to let go of the fact that i'm probably going to outlive everyone else in my life. ❞ ❝ i've already lost everything near and dear to my heart. everything except for you. ❞ ❝ i'm just so tired. i just want to go to sleep and never wake up again. ❞ ❝ i was so close to giving up once. ❞ ❝ i don't want him/her/them to die alone. i'd never forgive myself. ❞ ❝ please, don't go ... i just need to feel your arms around me ... ❞ ❝ there's a reason why i hide my emotions locked in a metal cage so deep in my heart. it's so i won't get hurt like this again. ❞ ❝ i've always had to deal with these kinds of things alone. i don't need your help. ❞ ❝ it was my fault. i did this to him/her/them ... ❞ ❝ i can't even see my future anymore. i don't want to. ❞ ❝ there's no way i could possibly be this important to you. ❞ ❝ if i lose him/her/them, then there'll be nothing else for me to live for. ❞ ❝ i don't see a point anymore. in going on, i mean. ❞ ❝ time won't slow down. it never does. i had to learn that the hard way early on. ❞ ❝ go away ... please, just go away. ❞

from those offering support. ❝ ... i'm sorry. i'm so, so fucking sorry that you had to lose him/her/them. ❞ ❝ it wasn't your fault. you did everything you could. ❞ ❝ just remember they'll always be in your heart. ❞ ❝ i don't know what to say to make you feel better, but ... i'm here for you, if that means anything. ❞ ❝ believe it or not ... i know how you feel. i've been through this exact same thing. ❞ ❝ he/she/they loved you. he/she/they loved you so much. trust me ... i know. ❞ ❝ you're not alone. i promise you, you're not alone. ❞ ❝ don't worry, i'll stay. i'm not going anywhere. ❞ ❝ you've been through so much ... be kind to yourself. please. ❞ ❝ it's okay to cry. you don't have to hide your emotions around me. ❞ ❝ you don't have to talk to me. hell, you don't even have to look at me. but, please ... give me a sign that you're hearing what i have to say. ❞ ❝ please ... don't tell me that you'd choose to spend eternity up there with him/her/them over an eternity with me ... ❞ ❝ you're grieving. it's an understandable reaction. but you should rest. you've been overexerting yourself far too much lately. ❞ ❝ the man/woman/person who you lost, who loved you ... he/she/they wouldn't want to see you doing this to yourself. ❞ ❝ crying is your body's way of telling you that you've been keeping everything in for way too long. so let it out. you're safe here. ❞ ❝ sadness is like an ocean. sometimes we drown in it, but other times, we're forced to swim in it. ❞ ❝ as long as i'm here, you'll never not have anyone ever again. ❞ ❝ i hope you know that you can talk to me about anything at all. share anything you need to get off your chest. i'm here for you. ❞ ❝ love is often felt the most in your favorite memories. honor him/her/them by remembering all the happiness he/she/they gave you. ❞ ❝ if you don't feel strong right now, then you don't have to be strong. it's okay to be vulnerable, weak, scared, and sad. ❞

[the-s1lly-corner]

How they deal with outliving you

Some angst I've been having on the brain; particularly for the characters that dont age/live for a long time + adding a new character to the base list!!

Obvious CW for loss of a loved one/partner + the grief that comes with it, cause of d3ath across all is by natural causes

S/o is mortal, of course

Slenderman;

Considering the fact that he's an ancient creature that's existed for lord knows how long, it was inevitable that he would outlive you

The concept of you one day being gone was something he already thought about before pursuing you romantically

I feel like out of all the ones on this list, he's the most calm about it, he isn't obviously broken up about the loss

That's not to say he doesn't care; he does. You were very likely his first love; and you will likely be his only love. It'd be a different story if your life was snatched away by someone else; but if it were something natural like for these scenarios, he grieves quietly. In fact, deaths in his woods temporarily slow down during this period

He has a designated area in the woods dedicated to you; flowers, pretty rocks, mementos, etcetera

He does 'guard' over your old home, for a while. That's likely the most drastic thing he'd do; he can't bare the idea of someone taking your place when the wound is still so fresh

Splendorman;

How ironic to add in this new character; someone so bubbly and sweet, with a prompt so... sad..

He doesn't handle it as smoothly as slenderman does; he's an absolute wreck. You were his absolute favorite person in the whole wide world, and just like that, you were gone

Is visibly wilted for a long time after your passing; only really putting on his usual happy face when he's needed

He cries, loudly, and he almost looks lost as he sits; almost as if he's awaiting your return

He understands mortality and the concept of death, but he never prepared himself for this

How could loving someone hurt so bad?

He talks about you to everyone who'll listen; both so he doesn't ever forget you, and so others can hear how amazing he thought you were

I like to think that when you were alive he gave you flowers... daisies, probably... he always keeps a daisy on him; either pinned to his coat or hat

Laughing Jack;

Denial

Denial

Denial. It will take him so so so long to finally come to terms that you'll never be coming back

He sprials; at first selfishly believing that you had purposefully abandoned him.. and given his past with being forgotten; he first responds with rage... before fully caving in on himself

Rumors are spread in town that your old house is haunted; thanks to Jack's howling cries

Hoards a lot of your belongings

It takes him a while to recover; and he's more irritable after all is said and done

Eyeless Jack;

This one's gonna hurt; because Jack is already gloomy and reclusive as is

Unlike the others, he's mortal; however he ages on a slower rate

So while he retained his youth he saw you change

After you're gone, he just

Sits in his cabin for a few days

He doesn't really leave unless his monstrous hunger gnaws away at him enough to prompt him to go into one of his feral episodes

I feel like he'd be similar to slenderman; in terms of the fact he will likely never love again

It feels...

Odd, for him to return to his lonely life, the one he had before you stumbled into his life

Some days he found himself wishing to relive the day he met you; or to wake up one day in your arms

As if this were all some long nightmare

But it never comes