#I rarely have drawing motivation as it is and if I had lost the whole thing

[bradleybeachbabe]

NSFW Alphabet

pairing: Phil Wenneck x Fem!Reader

warnings: 18+ themes, MINORS DNI

a/n: this is my first time writing anything that is related to smut, so please bare with me on this. also i’m currently obsessed with bradley copper as phil wenneck, so don’t be surprised if i post a whole bunch of fics of him. also a huge thank you to @startrekfangirl2233 for helping me beta read this!!

© bradleybeachbabe , do not steal or translate my work

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Phil is so good when it comes to aftercare. He’ll clean you up. Also If you need anything, he’ll go get it for you. You want snacks? Phil will go to the kitchen and get snacks. You want something to drink? Phil will go get it for you. You want him to draw a bath for you? He will. Or if you just want him to stay in bed and cuddle with you for the rest of the night. He definitely will.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite part of his body would probably have to be his abs. Whenever you two are both home, he’s walking around the house without a shirt. You’re looking at his abs, and he lost track of the number of times he has caught you just staring at them. When he does, he just smirks at you.

Phil loves all of you, but if he had to choose one, it would have to be your thighs. He loves to kiss them before he goes down on you. He loves to leave hickies on them, and he loves to lay his head down on them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Once in a great while he’ll cum on your boobs or even on your stomach. But for the most part, he cums in you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Phil enjoys being a sub. He loves when you take control though. He just lays there and relaxes. Sometimes he’ll have a smug grin on his face.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s experienced. He was a frat boy when he was in college. During those times, he was constantly hooking up with girls, so I’ll say that he knows what he’s doing.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Cowgirl. He loves watching your tits bounce. Plus, he loves to see you be the dominant one, and of course, we can’t forget that he loves being the submissive one, so that explains it all.

Missionary. He loves that he’s able to look at you. He loves that he can also just lean down and kiss you if he wants.

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Goofy sex isn’t rare between the two of you. It happens more than you realize. Phil is always saying something about who knows what, or smiling about something. Honestly, he’s more serious in the moment if he gets upset about something, which doesn’t quite happen that often.

H - Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He keeps it pretty well groomed. He’s not completely bare down there.

I - Intimacy ( how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Phil is a romantic guy. He will plant kisses anywhere that he could reach. He will say sweet things to you during the moment too.

J - Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

He rarely does it. You’re usually available for him for his needs. If not, then he’ll do it.

K - Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Phil has quite a few. Cokwarming, slight innocence kink, breeding kink, slight choking kink, marking, praise, and body worship.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Honestly anywhere. It could either be in your shared bedroom, in the backseat of his car, in the shower, in the hot tub, or either in the pool. It just all depends really.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You. You could be doing anything, or doing nothing. Or, better yet, just wearing any sort of clothing, and he’s instantly turned on.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He wouldn’t do anything that would hurt you. That’s the last thing he wants to do when you two are having sex.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Phil does love a good blowjob from you, but he prefers giving. Phil loves eating you out. If he could, he would do it for the entire day. He loves the noises you make when he does eat you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It just depends on the day. If he had a stressful day, it’d be fast and rough. But on days when he isn’t stressed out about anything, then it’s more slow and more sensual. On days like that, Phil takes his time with you. He wants to cherish the moment between the two of you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Phil doesn’t mind them. You two will have one, once in a great while, especially if you are in a hurry to get somewhere or to do something. But most of the time, he wants to take his time with you and not have to worry about rushing.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Phil loves to experiment, especially when it comes to wanting to test out something new in the bedroom. Phil loves to take risks too. He loves the thrill he gets when he takes risks.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Phil goes until he can’t anymore. Once he can’t, he’s done. That’s it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Phil doesn’t own any toys personally. But you do, you have a couple of toys. Once in a while, Phil will use your toys on you. He loves how you come undone when he uses them on you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Phil loves to tease you all the time. He loves the way you react when he’s teasing you, and even the pretty sounds you make when he does.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Phil is loud, and he has no shame in it. He’s either moaning, grunting, or whimpering. No matter what, he’s making some type of sound.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Phil has polaroid pictures of you in the lingerie sets that you or either he buys. Every single time you get a new set, Phil has you model them for him, so then he can take pictures of you with the polaroid camera that you own.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s about seven inches. He is more long than wide. Also, he knows how to use it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is pretty average. Going at least two or three rounds a week, Phil is totally satisfied. But if you are up to wanting to go more rounds throughout the week, he’s totally fine with it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

No matter how tired Phil is, he will wait until you fall asleep. Once you are sleeping peacefully, then he falls asleep.

i don’t have a tag list anymore. go follow my library blog to get notified when i post any fics! @bradleybeachbabe-library

[multi-lefaiye]

the eden linnaeus powerpoint

we did it, gang, we climbed this whole mountain.

inspired by @vacantgodling, here are the slides for my eden linnaeus powerpoint <3 because i love him.

i had a lot of fun making this, so i hope y'all enjoy <33

tagging the Eden Fanclub/people i think would be interested in this: @anexor @skitzo-kero @vacantgodling @invaderskoodge @paradoxspir1t

@drawnecromancy @astral-runic @void-botanist @vampiresdrinkfruitjuice @chaieyestea

slide transcriptions under the cut!

SLIDE 1:

A Guide to Eden Linnaeus

Or: I’m kind of unhinged about this purple boy. And now you will be, too!

by @/multi-lefaiye, your local purple tief enthusiast.

[Image ID: A heroforge model of my character Eden Linnaeus, a purple-skinned tiefling with white hair, a van dyke beard, and black horns. He is shown from the chest up, smirking as he looks to the right. End ID]

SLIDE 2:

Who is Eden?

Eden Linnaeus is the character I play in my fiance’s D&D campaign “Into Darkness We March,” which has been going since 2022.

The basic premise of the campaign is that a group of characters from vastly different time periods have all been revived in modern day, and they’re looking to put a stop to a terrible curse slowly rotting their world from the inside out.

Also, all of these characters fucked up big time in life and were struck with the curse, too! :D

The curse is based on the concept of the seven deadly sins, so each character has an associated Sin. I’ll get into that more shortly.

Anyway, even though Eden was originally made for this campaign, I’ve become so attached to him that I’m keeping him as an OC outside of it as well.

Something about a purple demon boy can just be so personal

SLIDE 3:

Eden Linnaeus is the son of a famous necromancer and a powerful cleric. However, his father, Abdiel, abandoned the family when Eden was very young, leaving him to care for himself, his younger brother, and his dying mother, despite being only a child at the time.

As he grew older, Eden came to deeply resent his father, the rejection and abandonment leaving him feeling worthless and lost. And after his mother’s death, he silently vowed that he would get revenge, that he would punish his father for leaving him behind. He would prove to everyone, especially that deadbeat sack of shit, that he’s not worthless. In fact, he’s the best. And he won’t rest until Abdiel lost everything.

This ambition drove Eden for many years, leading him to become an accomplished and respected magic user. However, it also destroyed him slowly, leading to him pushing away everyone who still cared about him until he was completely alone. Which was fine by Eden--who cared if everyone abandoned him? He’d prove them wrong, too. Fuck them.

But in the end, Eden never had the chance to really prove himself. When he was 28 years old, shortly after finishing his phD, he died in his lab, alone and forgotten by history.

Then, just over 600 years later, Eden came back… and he’s not wasting this second chance.

SLIDE 4:

Basics - 1

Name: Dr. Eden Linnaeus

Yes, he has a fantasy PhD.

Nicknames / Aliases: Ivaebhin (Kader only), Ed (Michael only), Jericho Ferebey (rarely)

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Eden is trans, as a note. He’s got that autistic tboy swag.

Orientation: Gay

Class: Artificer / Warlock

Sin: Pride

Eden’s sin is pretty self-explanatory. For much of his life, he’s been motivated by an intense, all-consuming need to be the best in every situation, better than everyone around him. Even if it destroys him.

[Image ID: A drawing of my OC Eden, shown from the waist up and facing the right. Eden is holding both hands up and smiling at a ball of magic floating above them, depicted as purple with a gold outline and a smiling face in the center. He's wearing a red jacket with a popped collar, a golden necklace, a black t-shirt, and a pair of red fingerless gloves. The background behind him is dark purple with gold accents, and his name is written across the bottom of the image.]

SLIDE 5:

Basics - 2

Species: Tiefling

Languages Spoken: Infernal (native), Common (fluent), Elvish (fluent), Sylvan (proficient)

The version of Elvish that Eden knows is rather archaic compared to modern Elvish, but he still understands modern Elvish decently.

Education: He has a fantasy PhD in alchemy, lmao.

Deepest Fears: Fire, extreme body horror, his body or mind deteriorating, being overshadowed by his father.

Fun fact: Eden can’t stand the smell of cooking meat for the same reason he’s afraid of fire :D

[Image ID: A drawing of Eden sleeping on the floor, with straighter hair than usual and without his facial hair. His eyes are closed and he's resting his head on his arms. The whole drawing is tinted a light purple. End ID]

Outdated art, but still cute!! This is from before I settled on his horn design and decided how curly his hair should be. And before I gave him facial hair.

SLIDE 6:

Appearance

Purple skin, with patches of scales on his face, shoulders, and hips

Curly white hair that grows past his shoulders, usually in a ponytail, and a van dyke beard

Black horns, with a crack in the left one

5’3” (approx 160.02 cm)

Multiple ear piercings and an eyebrow piercing

Various scars, most notably on his arms and face

Details on next slide :3c

Right hand slowly turning dark grey

Little spikes on his tail, especially at the base and near the tip

Usually wears a lot of red and black

[Image ID: A fullbody drawing of my OC Eden Linnaeus, squatting and facing slightly left. Eden is wearing a dark shirt under a red jacket, dark pants, red fingerless gloves, and knee-high boots. He has a small smile on his face, and his tail is curled slightly around him. The background is dark purple, with a yellow gradient starting from the center. End ID]

SLIDE 7:

Notable Scars

A black handprint on his right side.

This scar is from the time his father almost killed him during a magical duel when he was 19.

Jagged scratches across his face.

From the creature that killed him, lashing out and slashing his face in fear.

Long scratches along his arms.

How he actually died :(

A crack in his right horn, and a ring of scar tissue on his tail.

These are from the same event so they go together. Eden cut these parts of him off for a ritual, but they grew back immediately when the ritual was complete, leaving just the scars behind.

[Image Description: A drawing of my OC Eden Linnaeus,, shown shirtless from the waist up with one arm raised and his hand resting on the back of his neck. He wears a red and gold compression bra and black slacks, and he has multiple gold piercings. Notably, he has a black mark on his right side shaped like a handprint, his right hand is covered in a dark mark, and he has scars on his arms and face. The background is a block of dark purple with gold accents and a gold question mark next to Eden. End ID]

SLIDE 8:

Personality

Eden is a very stubborn, egotistical jackass much of the time. He’s better than everyone around him and not shy about telling them that.

… However, under that, he is incredibly, deeply insecure. Eden believes wholeheartedly that he has no inherent worth as a person, and people won’t stay with him if he’s not The Best.

He cares so so deeply about those close to him, but he struggles to accept that they might care about him, too.

Very logical, very low empathy. Articulate and intelligent.

Extremely passionate and excitable, loves to learn and share information.

Lowkey highly self-sacrificing.

[Image ID: A drawing of my OC Eden Linnaeus, shown from the chest up with a tired, disgusted expression on his face. His hair is pulled back into a ponytail and he's holding a cigarette in one hand. End ID]

SLIDE 9:

Key Relationships - 1

Dr. Abdiel Linnaeus is Eden’s father, who left when Eden was only six years old. For most of his life, Eden has been haunted by the shadow his father left behind, fueling a burning resentment for the man who abandoned him. Before his death, Eden dedicated his life to destroying Abdiel’s legacy, desperate to punish the man who hurt him, and also to prove that they have nothing in common.

As much as Eden hates to admit it, he and Abdiel are very similar. Two sides of the same coin, one might say, with very similar sins weighing on them.

Eden wants to destroy Abdiel only a little more than, on his worst days, he wants to destroy himself.

Hannah Linnaeus is Eden’s mother, who died when he was twelve years old. He remembers her very fondly, so much so that he puts her on a pedestal in his mind. Though Hannah tried her best to be a good mother, she ultimately failed to protect Eden, too, and left him deeply, deeply broken and hurt. Many of his insecurities stem from Hannah, and how she compared him to Abdiel at nearly every turn in an attempt to convince him to forgive his father.

Hannah loved Abdiel, even though he left her, until the day she died. And for that, more than anything else, Abdiel deserves to burn, as far as Eden is concerned.

SLIDE 10:

Michael Linnaeus is Eden’s younger brother, who Eden had to raise almost entirely alone, despite only being a child himself. For most of their lives, Eden and Michael were extremely close, and Eden has always been very protective of his brother.

This made it hurt all the more when, as an adult, Michael decided to forgive and reconnect with Abdiel. Eden couldn’t understand why Michael would forgive the man who’d abandoned them, and this sparked a long, drawn-out falling out between the brothers.

By the time Eden died, he and Michael had stopped speaking entirely.

Kader Al-Masri is Eden’s childhood best friend and first romantic love. The two met as young children and became fast friends, and as Eden’s family fell to pieces, Kader’s family stepped in to help out and take care of the Linnaeus brothers. And as Eden and Kader got older, they developed romantic feelings for each other, and they started dating as teenagers.

In the end, they broke up before they left for university, because neither of them wanted to try long distance, but they always thought they might try again someday.

Eden always thought they’d get married someday. But, things don’t always work out that way. Kader found someone else, and his friendship with Eden fell apart when Eden reacted badly to the news.

SLIDE 11:

Family Tree

[Image ID: A simple depiction of my character Eden's family tree, from his grandparents to himself and his brother. On his mother's side, his grandparents are listed as 'Mg. Ansel Ferebey' and 'Jeriah Ferebey.' On his father's side, his grandparents are listed as 'Noa Linnaeus' and 'Sylaris.' His mother is listed as 'Hannah Linnaeus' and his father is listed as 'Dr. Abdiel Linnaeus.' Finally, he and his brother are listed as 'Dr. Eden Linnaeus' and 'Michael Linnaeus' respectively.]

Michael went on to marry and have children of his own as an adult, but Eden never met any of his nieces and nephews, so I didn’t wanna list them here.

SLIDE 12:

"Mini Eden," AKA Eddie

Eddie gets his own slide, because I love him so much.

Baby boy. Baby. Baby bastard.

Eddie is a homunculus, an artificial being created from part of Eden’s soul.

He also has all of Eden’s personality traits turned up to an 11, for better and for worse.

He’s rude, loud, and whiny, but he’s deeply protective of Eden. In many ways, Eddie is basically his son, not that Eden would admit that.

About the size of a gerbil. Soft and warm and furry.

[Image ID: A drawing of my character Eddie, a small, bat-like creature with purple fur and a lighter underbelly. He has a mop of curly gold hair and yellow eyes, as well as darker horns. Eddie is wearing a red vest and his hair is pulled back into a ponytail. He has a vaguely humanoid face and is smirking as he glances to the right.]

SLIDE 13:

Magic Color-Coding:

As a fun treat for myself, Eden’s different spells are color-coded based on the source of the magic powering them. When he uses these spells, they manifest in these colors.

Innate Tiefling Spells: These spells come from Eden’s demonic heritage on both sides of his family tree. Many of them are associated with fire in some way, and as such, these spells manifest in shades of red and orange.

Artificer Spells: Eden’s artificer spells are those he learned growing up or during his time at university, and he knows them inside and out. They don’t feel magical to him anymore, often manifesting as silver or a very light grey.

Warlock Spells: His warlock spells, meanwhile, are an unknown, terrifying new power granted to him by a being whose motives he’s uncertain of. He’s still learning them, and on some level they frighten him deeply. As such, these spells manifest as a very dark purple, almost black.

Cleric Spell: All of the characters in this campaign, regardless of class, have one cleric spell, gifted to them by the goddess Phara. These spells in some way reflect the character’s true souls and intentions. Eden’s cleric spell, Shield of Faith, manifests in gold, with touches of blue to represent the goddess’s influence.

[Additional Details: The color names mentioned in the above text are the colors mentioned.]

SLIDE 14:

Associations

Animal: Lion

Color: Gold

Zodiac: Leo

Flower: Laurel

Tarot: Knight of Wands

Song: Faust, Midas, & Myself - Switchfoot

Misc. Associations for Symbolism: Kintsugi, the sun, Icarus, stars

[Image ID: Two screenshots of Eden as he appears in my save of Baldur's Gate 3. In the left one, he is shown with longer hair that's shaved on one side, his eyes closed as he smiles. He has silver piercings. He's wearing black and red armor and has a gold staff strapped to his back. In the right one, he's shown with different piercings and shorter, spikier hair, his eyes glowing green. Here, he wears leather armor, and he has a black staff strapped to his back. End ID]

Two different screencaps of Eden in BG3--one with short hair, one with long hair. Unfortunately both with wayyy straighter hair than he should have, but none of the curlier options feel like him either, so this is as close as I could get.

He’s such a model to me.

[willyoubemypartner]

Alyssa Cho - An Essay

Preface - Why is Alyssa so unsympathetic?

One of the things that’s odd about Alyssa’s character is that readers have rarely been so divisive over a single character, particularly about whether or not a character is sympathetic. There’s generally a consensus about the complicated nature of characters like Kousuke or even Rand, but Alyssa discourse feels very different.

During the formal arc, Quim has mentioned a few times that many scenes had to be cut due to Webtoon’s concerns about mature/dark content conflicting with adsense policies. Quim has recently mentioned weaving these scenes back in wherever possible, meaning that things were still happening in universe, we just couldn't see them. But now when these themes come up later to be more explored, they have to be introduced in a roundabout way for it to make sense. Instead of us getting what was intended and being able to build off that foundation as we follow the story and naturally understanding the pacing as it goes.

Now how does this tie into Alyssa? Alyssa in particular had important scenes cut from the formal - parallels we lost with Alyssa and Shin-Ae, the understanding and characterization of the Kims and other elites, the reality of her life in the idol world. It turned the formal into more of a ? than it needed to or should have been, and pulled the foundation of understanding Alyssa’s character right out from under us. We went essentially 200 chapters without really getting a look at her. She was introduced (like many ILY characters) in a certain way, but it took so much longer for her to get to show her depth and development beyond that mold. And it makes it so much harder for readers to see her objectively. People don't want to have to flip their entire understanding of and feelings towards Alyssa at chapter 230.

The foundation for Alyssa being more than just the attention seeker has always been there, we just didn't get to see it.

I don't always love Alyssa. But I feel for her. She's a real person as much as every other character. She’s not just "a girl who makes the wrong choices" nor is she just “the bad friend” or just “the trapped victim” - she is all of them . Alyssa may be misguided, but that’s just it - she's misguided because she never learned how to conflict. She tries to make the right choices, and fails. She’s trying her best and it never works out for her. And so she makes mistakes and she hurts people - including herself. And a lot of them are big mistakes, with very real consequences. She can see what’s really happening around her, but thinks that maybe it can work. And so she keeps making those wrong choices, because the core that she needs to change isn't something she feels safe to rectify. She’s miserable, but she can’t get out. She draws herself to the only light she can see, like a moth to a flame.

She’s introduced as this foe, even the mini Yui. And we're supposed to originally see her that way and know that that's now Nol has come to see her. But we are simultaneously supposed to break that down and see that she is also trapped. She idolized Yui and fell so far into the deep end without realizing it and now has to be Yui's puppet. The puppetmaster imagery is both Alyssa taking after Yui and falling for it, AND Yui taking advantage of her and Alyssa having no choice anymore but to play along and be taken advantage of. There’s that inherent dichotomy to how Alyssa acts and who she is and why she is.

Something about Alyssa is that her motives and feelings are almost always far more complex than they appear. Alyssa is so plagued by those parts of herself that she’s afraid of. Alyssa gets so much criticism for making her choices because for us it's so easy to see where she's going wrong. But, if she could really see it, she wouldn't be here. We know how this really ends and what would actually help, but all Alyssa has seen is that the way she handles things is the viable option. The whole point with Alyssa is that nobody helped her navigate these things . She's as much a victim as everyone else, even though she's hurt arguably our two most sympathetic characters.

Everyone thinks that she is an attention seeker. That she's successful and aloof and just drops people. Nobody is taking a second to see her childhood trauma, understand her real motivations, look at how trapped she is, how miserable. Nobody is extending a hand to her because they don't understand. And with nobody understanding her, nobody can give her an actual way forward, because everyone's attempts will be for a problem that isn't the real issue. Like many, if not all, of our characters, in order to understand Alyssa we have to acknowledge that the reason this is happening is because of unmet and unaddressed needs, lack of personal insight, being in survival mode - the person feeling like they had no other choice.

The people Alyssa hurt are our two main characters, and we are supposed to feel a way about that. But so much of the point is about how our emotional reaction to Alyssa isn't all there is. That she’s not any more or less evil just because the people she hurt are the ones we’re emotionally connected to. That she is a person who has her own story, her own motivations, her own mistakes, her own needs, her own fears, her own traumas. Not that it negates all the harm, but just that there is more to it. That we have to be able to examine and sit with our complex feelings towards her.

Unconditional Love & Chasing The Light 

At the core of Alyssa’s character is the desire to be seen and accepted for herself, at odds with the belief that who she is can’t possibly be okay.

We get some important insight into this throughout the Shinlyssa arc, but especially at Alyssa’s house and with the bullies. In Alyssa’s bedroom we see portraits of Hedy Lamaar, Thomas Edison, Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein, Melba Roy Mouton, Alan Turing, Vera Rubin, and Sally Ride. The portraits were identified and analyzed by Kimione back in 2022 (https://new.reddit.com/r/ILoveYoo/comments/ws18yg/alyssa_cho_symbolisms_notes_and_scribblings/) as well as this recent post (https://www.reddit.com/r/ILoveYoo/comments/15sh4k7/the_portraits_in_alyssas_room_in_episode_190/?sort=confidence).

Recurring themes in the portraits are all of them being involved in groundbreaking science, contributions to communication or space, being both scientific and artistic, experience of inequity and adversity, and nonnormative sexuality. For all of these people, resilience and passion in the face of a world which did not see them clearly, which did not initially support them, carried them through to their success. For many of them, a key figure (or several) in their lives provided that support that helped them reach the world. Hedy Lamarr said that her father “made me understand that I must make my own decisions, mold my own character, think my own thoughts.”

In Alyssa’s case, we can see based on her choice of portraits and conversation with Shin-Ae that she wants to be seen for who she is, leave her mark on the world through her passions, be genuine in an off-beat way. Like those on her wall, she has a natural skill for both arts and science, but intends to pursue her passion for science, perhaps using her skill in the arts to inform her manner of thinking. The difference, however, is that she does not appear to have that support network. She says that her parents follow her every whim and she’s never been able to develop a real sense of self. We see that her mother puts on a face, appears weak, passive, the trophy wife. When Alyssa was home sick from school, we see her struggle to cope with conflict and rejection, curling up in her room and refusing to talk to anyone but Shin-Ae - yet she “flips a switch” the second she hears her father walk through the door. Something that she does often, as her mother even expected it. Alyssa establishes in that moment that it is not her emotions flipping a switch, but rather the fear of what happens when her father comes home and she is not who he wants her to be. She likely fears her strict father, and resents her passive mother. Either way, Alyssa clearly doesn’t feel supported in herself - she must be the perfect poster daughter, has no role models to look up to, has no understanding of how to make her own decisions, mold her own character, think her own thoughts.

Alyssa frequently exhibits self-doubt and feelings that nobody is listening, that nobody cares. That she must mold herself to whatever others want. That she has to keep parts of herself hidden. That what she wants to be is not something that she can pull herself up in the world through. That she has to bide her time and assuage people to earn her freedom. That she is trapped and isolated.

Although not directly confirmed, we get many hints throughout the Shinlyssa arc that Alyssa is a lesbian, that she had feelings for Shin-Ae. Alyssa being gay in a homophobic world, desperately trying to fit the social mold and find unconditional love, creates such a tragic outcome. While there are obviously so many more types of love than romantic, to have something Alyssa feels such shame for, something that she can not escape or pretend away, something she did not choose, something so wrongly yet so often considered a disease, an abomination, wrong, unnatural, nonconformist tied so directly to the experience of love creates such an all-consuming conflict in Alyssa. Even if she were bisexual, she could suppress enough of herself to fit the mold and find that love (as much as it would still hurt). With her being a lesbian, it enters the fact that she will never be able to find that kind of love while she’s hiding herself. That in her quest to fit the social mold to find love and validation she’s completely closing off that gate. There is something so incredibly tragic about that self-fulfilling prophecy, and it fuels so much of Alyssa’s conflict.

Something important is how much the Shinlyssa event affects not only Shin-Ae, but Alyssa. And, when talking about the Shinlyssa event, something so important to keep in mind is how young they were. They were children, only 12 or 13 years old, in a new environment - especially for Alyssa, who had never been outside the social environment of her home.

Shin-Ae is a character whose light shines bright, which everyone is caught in. That same light that she’s sharing with Nol. A light that even Alyssa was in back in middle school, but that she couldn’t stand in, because Alyssa couldn't accept all of herself. If she stayed in Shin-Ae's light, it would have illuminated the truths she's afraid of. Alyssa is so afraid of the light shining on parts of herself she doesn't want seen that she lets the light go out all together.

It's better in the dark.

So she snuffed out her own light.

She just wants to be accepted and thinks that nobody will accept her because of those parts of herself that she can’t accept. That she’s been taught are wrong. So she can not find acceptance and belonging, she can not stand in the light. And she settles for the closest thing she can find, that artificial light that lets her keep those parts of herself hidden. But that light will never come close when she has to hide so much of herself.

There’s likely only one time in Alyssa’s life that she felt that sense of unconditional love - in her relationship with Shin-Ae. How Alyssa felt the emotional support she desperately needed, that love she craved, that acceptance for her authentic self. How she felt seen with Shin-Ae. How she pushed her away because those are feelings she's not allowed to have. Not for an outcast. Not for someone so brazen. Not for a girl. Not for someone who sees Alyssa as she genuinely is. And now that feeling of actual love and acceptance may be something she never finds again. Only conditional. Only for her image. Her persona. Only when she does what she's told. But none of it true.

Alyssa doesn’t chase fame or adoration, she’s chasing acceptance while being unable to look at herself. She is in this career, in Yui’s grasp, as a direct result of the Shinlyssa event.

Nobody ever showed her safe unconditional love. So naturally she thinks that the only way she can be loved is by chasing adoration. And, as she got older, nothing has proven that wrong for her. The Shinlyssa accident factors so strongly into why Alyssa doesn't see another way. She did have Shin-Ae, but things still went so wrong. It was ingrained into Alyssa that she can not rock the boat, can not be in conflict, has to play nice with those around her. Shin-Ae was unconventional, unpopular, and unafraid to stand up for herself. That created tension between them, and a lot of problems between them and the other kids. Alyssa, in her world, kept trying to keep Shin-Ae and not cause problems at school, but it kept blowing up in her face. And, in the end Shin-Ae falls out a window. This is a horrible way to experience your first taste of interpersonal conflict and likely just solidified for her that you absolutely can not rock the boat, you have to placate people and fit the social mold. It's also likely that her parents were involved in the aftermath of what happened in middle school, considering how much it all got swept under the rug. With her feared, strict father and her good family image mother, I can only imagine what sort of treatment she was welcomed to at home after the Shinlyssa incident. Personally, I also believe that her parents wouldn't have let her anywhere near Shin-Ae afterwards.

Hidden behind the large home and private lessons is how neglected Alyssa was. Treated as a trophy to compensate for the eldest daughter being a disappointment to their overbearing father. Living in a home as the trophy daughter with the trophy wife. Alyssa’s statements of wanting to be part of a power couple come from that resentment, the deep desire to not be that kind of submissive, docile woman.

And then in comes Yui - this godlike woman. Mother. Businesswoman. Charitable. Charismatic. Powerful. Married to an honorable man. Promising everything Alyssa needs - love, validation, adoration, success, belonging. Offering Alyssa a chance to shine, compliments, (fake) love, the potential to become powerful and adored like her. And she idolized Yui, so she took the chance.

It was everything Alyssa needed, on a silver platter … until it wasn’t.

Yui knew exactly how to play her. Manipulated a 14 year old girl just like she does everyone. And by the time Alyssa could see any which way, it's already too late. We can see that she's exhausted. Miserable. Isolated. Always 'on.' Always playing her role. Always on high alert, in survival mode. With Yui over her shoulder, groupmates that hate her, having to be dolled up for everyone she meets, no true allies anymore, being watched and exploited at home, at work, at practice, in the dorms, in public, at events - there is truly not a single place Alyssa feels safe, let alone accepted or loved. And yet she can not leave. She can't stop. They won't let her go now. If she were to stop, she'd have to fail . She has never been allowed to fail. Her life now is miserable, but she sees the price of failure as being even worse.

I think that we're going to see Alyssa continue down a dark path. She's never lived in a reality where it feels okay to be herself. She's pushing so much down and trying so hard to become what other people want her to be so that she may finally fit in. Be loved. Feel like she belongs.

Every one time someone says she's doing great it's like a hit for her, but it's so fleeting. So she has to keep chasing it, because she doesn't know where else to get it. But the more she chases it, the farther and farther down a dark path she goes, running after a torch instead of the sun. And the farther she gets, the harder it is to find an exit. So she has to keep chasing the only light she can see and just hope that it gets her somewhere.

Survival & Safety 

In the case of Alyssa, so many people underestimate the effect that an emotionally volatile upbringing can have on you and how you interact with the world. So many people are choosing to ignore that Alyssa is emotionally neglected and likely abused at home. Shin-Ae feels more like the victim to us because we're seeing the story through her eyes and we know that without money you can't physically live, but the thing Alyssa has lacked all her life, the thing that she needs is to feel like she's accepted and loved. That she, herself, is enough.

At the core of all of her actions, beliefs, choices, is one simple fact - Alyssa feels unsafe.

And even Alyssa’s song - she knows full well that she’s trapped now. The imagery points right to Yui. As Alyssa said, she’s not dumb. The entire time that we’ve known Alyssa, she’s known where she stands with Yui. When she talks about Yui at the formal her eyes are closed. The entire time she’s talking about Yui being charitable, nice for giving Shin-Ae a job, not being where she is today without Yui, wanting a mother like her, wanting to be like her. Her eyes only open again when she says she’d love to be part of a power couple. These are all things that Alyssa likely believed about Yui when she first met her, but has since seen the writing on the wall. The savior she ran to in order to escape her unsafe family life turned out to be even worse. And this is even what leads her to Gun Kim in the recent chapters - in the same way she desperately needed to escape her family, now she desperately needs to escape Yui. But since Alyssa doesn't believe in herself, can't let herself shine enough to brave the world and gain control on her own, she needs someone by her side. Needs to be part of a "power couple." This time it's Gun who comes in, the sparkling savior. Except Alyssa does know better this time, we can see that she's uncomfortable around him, that she knows the sparkles fade. But it’s too late now, and Alyssa just hopes to play the game long enough to gain some of her power back.

"Everything will go to waste I’m trying to find my way back But all these red hues keep me locked in place I can stay captive a bit longer So long as I end up on top"

Alyssa has been playing the game because it's the same game she had to play at home. Keep your head down. Do what they say. That way they won't hurt you as badly.

And when we remember that Alyssa's socioeconomic status is closer to Kousuke's than to Shinae's we can understand even more the implications, because it's not just about Alyssa’s weaknesses. It's about how it reflects on her family. Alyssa and Meg act as parallels to Kousuke and Nol, the golden child and the black sheep. Constantly told to not embarrass the family, don't make them look bad, live up to your potential. Nol and Meg are seen as wildcards, burdens, disappointments, people who do not fit the social mold and make everyone's lives more difficult. So Kousuke and Alyssa feel such intense pressure to fit the mold exactly. To never be out of line. To be someone that lives up to their family name. That brings respect. That doesn't cause trouble.

We see this same concept play out in the juxtaposition between the reaction to the girls’ catching Yui’s eye.

When we think about the parallels of Yui swooping in and "stealing away" both Shin-Ae and Alyssa the biggest difference is that Nol could see Shin-Ae, see how miserable she was even if she didn’t explain it to him. And, even then, the only reason even Shin-Ae ever opened up and leaned on people was because she had to. Because Nol had already seen it. He was able to nudge it out of her after seeing her eviction notice and pile of bills. After seeing her so blatantly miserable at the formal. And once someone had seen her weaknesses and supported her, she gradually was able to build back that trust that she spent so long unable to draw upon. But she didn’t start that by choice, she just chose to continue.

While for Alyssa he can’t see it - so much of her misery has been out of his view, she doesn’t open up and lean on people and is so good at putting on her brave face. The more people know your weaknesses, the more they have to use against you, and Alyssa sees so many weaknesses in herself that she can’t trust anyone. Alyssa has been trained all her life to hide anything negative. Never step out of line. Nol was able to see it in Shin-Ae because she’s easier to read, but nobody can see it in Alyssa because she’s been taught how to hide it. Shin-Ae’s biggest strategy for hiding her state was to avoid people - Alyssa is able to hide in plain sight.

Alyssa is always a strong contrast with Shin-Ae, and we can see it throughout the formal. Something so important to this parallel are cut scenes of Alyssa that foreshadow the recent developments we’ve seen of her with the Hiraharas and the Kims.

Such a theme of the night is how lucky Shin-Ae was that Kousuke and Nol didn't have ill intentions around her and were looking out for her. Everyone was looking out for Shin-Ae that night, but no one was looking out for Alyssa. Even her own parents, the people who above all else are supposed to keep you safe, sold her out to the entertainment industry and never looked back. And, to be fair, we come back to her self-fulfilling prophecy - Alyssa is afraid to be herself because she thinks her true self isn’t worthy of love, so she pushes people away, and then has no one. But, at the same time, Shin-Ae has also been pushing everyone away. Nol has to stalk her to gain her friendship, she coldly and pointedly rejects Dieter, she keeps Maya and Rika at arm’s length, she doesn’t tell anyone (even Min-Hyuk) about her problems with her home and her dad. But the difference between Alyssa and Shin-Ae is, in many ways, how well they hid it. With Shin-Ae it was obvious that she was keeping people at arm’s length because she had been hurt. With Alyssa, she’s keeping people away because she’s afraid, but she’s been taught very well how to keep up appearances, so it looks as though she just doesn’t care, that she’s more concerned with herself and her image and her career. So people leave her alone, while they chase after Shin-Ae. While everyone was off chasing Shin-Ae, Alyssa was alone with the elites - no one looking for her, no one caring where she was.

Alyssa is, at her core, so very alone.

Unreliable Narrators & Nolyssa 

One of the most pointed failings of Nolyssa, especially in comparison to Stalkyoo, is how much Nol and Alyssa really don’t know each other at all, despite being more privy to the details of each other’s lives than almost anyone else. Both of them are in survival mode, putting on masks day after day, not letting each other in, seeing each other as something they are so very not with goals and desires that only scratch the surface. On the one hand, neither of them have really put up a fight, but also the circumstances were against them. They weren't in a position to help each other. They were both kids with needs that weren't met trying their best to survive. Children forced into playing an adult’s game.

Nol and Shin-Ae are both unreliable narrators. Shin-Ae actually acknowledges this, specifically in relation to Alyssa, saying that she only ever has her side of the story. In Nol’s case, he sees Yui for what she is, and wants others to see it, too. But he also believes that everything is his fault, that it all stems from his existence, that Yui may be a villain but it’s because of him, not that Yui does what suits her best. And that makes it so hard for him to even begin to guess that Alyssa sees Yui for something else, that Alyssa fell for Yui’s manipulation for reasons that he couldn’t see and that she realized after what had really happened. That she could praise Yui, focus on her career, devote her time to this game, and be lying about it all. He sees that validation seeker and he didn't see beyond it because she didn't let him see anything more than that. He’s good at being able to tell when people are putting up a facade, but not so much why .

Alyssa is so much more complex than just someone seeking validation, and she is meant to make us sit with complex feelings. Meant to make us figure her out, to see beyond our unreliable narrators. To accept that she is more complex despite how negative her interactions with our two most overtly sympathetic characters are. We are supposed to be clued in to her more than they are, to see those things that none of our narrators can see.

Nol states that she knows how his family makes him feel, but does he know his family makes her feel? How this whole game makes her feel? That she wants off this ride but it's too late and she can't do anything?

Ironically, Nol is being used as Alyssa’s protector, but not in any intentional way. Nol said that he tried to steer Alyssa clear of Yui, but honestly it doesn't seem like he really tried. When Shin-Ae gets the invitation to Kousuke's apartment Nol just says that Yui is a nice lady. I think that Nol tries to save people from Yui by encouraging them to appease her and then wean away from her, thinking that as long as they do what she wants Yui won't hurt them. But obviously that's not how Yui works. And, Alyssa fell right into the trap, just like Shin-Ae.

But, where Nol is protecting her is by being the “boyfriend,” protecting her from the predators around her. Even if it's not much, having Nol as a boyfriend keeps those close to the Hiraharas who may try to take advantage of her just a bit more at bay. They can't step on the Hiraharas’ toes. I especially think that now that we've seen more of Alyssa's world, how she got where she is, and what likely lays ahead for her. And, it honestly works well for Alyssa - Nol is respectful, not interested in her, doesn’t push her, she doesn’t have to do anything to appease him, doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to do. Doesn’t even have to pay attention to him (although she should, if even as just a friend). And I think that Alyssa does know this, and that’s part of why she fought so hard when he did for once express his own needs and desires and tried to break it off. I think that, once Nol is gone, it's basically open season on her, and it's going to be so incredibly hard to watch - that fake relationship is probably the final barrier keeping her in some semblance of safe.

But, the thing is, Alyssa's fate isn't Nol's responsibility. Alyssa does not deserve to be preyed upon, but Nol also doesn't deserve to be trapped and suffocated. We can see how much being in this relationship hurts Nol, suffocates him, how it's keeping him on a one-way path to misery. How, as much as she does not deserve what likely lays ahead for her without Nol, he does not deserve what lays ahead for him with Alyssa.

As much as I defend Alyssa, urging people to understand her complexities as a character, how her choices are born out of her own survival mode, how she is falling back on the methods that she learned from her home life were the only way to survive, how she has never felt safe and that leads directly to the choices she makes and how she feels that she does not have a choice at all - Nol is not the one responsible for her path, her choices. Some combination of Alyssa, the adults who failed her, and the adults who groomed her are responsible.

I mentioned earlier how Alyssa ended up here as a fallout of the Shinlyssa event, and that implicates Nol’s position too - both in relation to Alyssa and to Shin-Ae. If Shinlyssa had survived, Stalkyoo would never have been. All of this growth between Nol and Shin-Ae, chasing that future - it never would have happened. It’s even possible Nol wouldn’t be around anymore. Everything is a chain reaction. Sometimes there is no choice where everyone turns out okay. No matter which way it happened, one of them was going to be in a bad place. Which is the same way things are going with the potential ending of Nolyssa. Either Nol suffers or Alyssa is in danger - there's no scenario where they are both okay.

Shin-Ae is likely going to be a foil to Alyssa, and she may watch and have to understand. To see why Shin-Ae is so capable of being what she isn't. That at the end of the day Shin-Ae was always enough. That Alyssa was always enough. How different things would have been if she could’ve accepted herself and stood in that light. That if she could, people will come along who love her for who she is. That there was so much she couldn't see at that time and now it's too late.

Conclusion 

Despite how easy it is to dislike Alyssa, to to write her off as the validation seeker, the bad friend, the self-serving naïve idol - there is so much more to Alyssa to see. The girl seeking to fill that unmet essential need for unconditional love. The girl who has never felt safe. The girl who was never taught how to handle conflict. The girl who is so afraid of herself that she pushes everyone away. Who hides herself so much that no one knows who she really is. Who’s reputation for herself and her family rides on her back. Who is miserable but sees no way out. Who is trapped by choices she made as a child. Who still makes all the wrong choices because she doesn’t see any other way. Who is just as much a victim, desperately trying to survive, as everyone else.

Now she is trapped in this prison, abused and trafficked No way out in sight No one on her side Only empty love and adoration Chasing artificial light, snuffing her own out from fear of those inner truths, never feeling safe, having to keep going to have any hope of getting out but keeping going being so so bad and likely never going to get her there

Above all else I hope that Alyssa can learn to accept herself. That, even if she realizes it far too late, she can see that was all she ever really needed. Because she can’t have that love that she wants while she’s so afraid, so much in hiding, so fearful of the truths within herself that could be revealed if she stands in the light. The thing about Alyssa is that she pushes genuine people away because of this fear. And therein is her self-fulfilling prophecy, but she makes these choices because she doesn’t know what else to do and ends up further and further trapped. I feel an intense sadness for Alyssa as she, like all of our characters, is in survival mode herself and just trying desperately to fill an unmet need.

And, again, it's not about liking or disliking Alyssa. Absolving or convicting her. It's not that simple. As complex as she is as a person, so is her role in the story, her perception within us. But it's about understanding her - who she is, why she makes her choices, how she got here.

I will reiterate again a point from earlier - the people Alyssa hurt are our two main characters. We are supposed to feel a way about that. But so much of the point is about how our emotional reaction to Alyssa isn't all there is. That she’s not any more or less evil just because the people she hurt are the ones we’re emotionally connected to. That she is a person who has her own story, her own motivations, her own mistakes, her own needs, her own fears, her own traumas. Not that it negates the harm, the wrong choices, but just that there is more to it. That we have to be able to examine and sit with our complex feelings towards her.

In the words of Hedy - “I’m a very simple, complicated person.”

And that concludes my full length essay about Alyssa and why I have feelings

[gamerbearmira]

I just thought of something extremely cute, how about a Ballet au but it's a wholesome bonding experience between Alma and Mirabel?

Like say Alma used to do it all the time when she was younger and when she was with Pedro. But after he passed, she just lost motivation. And between trying to take care of three kids by herself and being a leader of a whole village, she rarely had time.

Until Mirabel came into the picture that is. Mirabel had gotten a book on Ballet and tried to do some of the steps in it. That's when Alma thought "Hey, I know ballet, I can teach her way better than a book"

Now because of Alma's age she wasn't able to teach her much without getting a little sore. So, the candle may or may not have made Alma's bones a little younger so she could bond with Mira more.

Also, I found these beautiful ballet shoes and they fit both of them perfectly.

But these would definitely need to be custom designed AFTER they got the breaks beat off them. I'm saying that because most pointe shoes need to be beaten and almost destroyed to be more comfortable to wear.

I can't decide which dress looks good enough for me to draw Mirabel in, but both look pretty!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN ASK LIKE THIS I FREAKIN' LOVE BALLET

Ok first. Love the shoes. Sobbing. Also am I the only one who unironically likes watching dancers break tf outta their shoes. It’s so entertaining to me. AND TWO UH…..I like them so much. but PERSONALLY, I like the second more, it fits better too <33

ANYWAY YEAH. Given that Mirabel was probably looking for more skills to do (on top of sewing/embroidery and playing instruments), I guess she saw ballet and was like 'I like dancing.' And just picked it up. She probably had no context for Alma either, unless she talked about it. But idk, would she? I mean she lost motivation and all that, and I imagine she had to put her stuff away, seeing she had no time (i say put away because I seriously doubt she'd just toss it out.) shoutout to the candle

Also. Because I have favs. Mirabel loves Esmeralda and Alma’s favorites are Giselle and Raymonda (which was actually Pedro’s favorite as well.) ALSO I WILL. BE DRAWING (possibly writing) MORE. AND IF YOU GIVE ME PROMPTS, STORY OR WHATEVER. I WILL TAKE IT AND RUN. BECAUSE I LOVE BALLET <<33333

ALSO. Potential for angst. Because I’m evil and need a counter to this full. Since Mirabel loves ballet and doesn’t have a gift. Alma sorta kinda indirectly pressures her into doing it more. Now Mirabel loves it, but she wants to do other dances, specifically ones that involve playing an instrument and dancing like Esmeralda but. Alma in this scenario is nostalgia projecting, p,is she wants everyone to use their gifts perfectly, so Mirabel has to do every dance. Perfectly. And she can!t do that playing an instrument (spoiler she can.) JUST A SUGGESTION.

So everything yes. Love Alma and Mirabel bonding, my favorite versions of that (but y'all knew that).

Proof of Mirabel doing ballet [Canon] [NOT CLICKBAIT‼️]

[balladofmyramblings]

I didn’t realize it until I saw it in theaters on the big screen, but the Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes cover reminds me strangely of the Montressor family arms?

Not everyone here is going to have read The Cask of Amontillado, so for a little background-

this guy Fortunato has done something terrible to this guy Montressor, and Montressor wants revenge. As foreshadowing, we see the Montressor family moto and coat of arms translate to “No one harms me and gets away with it” and a foot stepping on a snake that’s biting the foot.

This describes Coriolanus and Lucy Gray so well.

For one, we never find out what Fortunato did to Montressor, just like Lucy Gray never actually does anything to Coriolanus ((everything he perceived as something against him (like the snake & her leaving for a while) could be argued as pure coincidence).

What’s Montressor’s revenge on this unknown slight? He freaking buries Fortunato alive in his family catacombs by locking him into an alcove and then walking it up. While Fortunato is drunk & thinks they’re friends.

Montressor’s main conditions about this revenge is Fortunato has to know that it’s him who’s getting the revenge, and that he has to not be caught.

We see this represented with Coriolanus and Dean Highbottom. While it’s debatable if Dean Highbottom knew Coriolanus poisoned the morphing in the books, in the movies (in my opinion) I think we can definitely see his recognition that Coriolanus was the one to poison him, and that Coriolanus won’t be caught for it.

Coriolanus’ revenge on Dean Highbottom is honestly a whole other topic because of how well done it is. It’s using his own weakness (morphling) against him, and it’s almost completely foolproof because who would think that A. It’s murder at all, and B. that Coriolanus is the murderer? Nobody, not really.

Now, to draw us back to Montressor and Fortunato, Fortunato trusts Montressor. He thinks that they’re still friends, while Montressor hates him and actively is planning revenge every time he talks to him. While Coriolanus doesn’t hate Lucy Gray, there’s that small layer of disgust for district people and as soon as he fully realizes he can’t control her, he begins to hate her & think of her as someone lesser. So it may not be the entire time, but it’s definitely there, and Lucy Gray thinks she can trust him up until that very end.

One thing about both Fortunato and Lucy Gray’s end is that unnerves Montressor/Coriolanus, even if they believe that it was the right thing to do and they’re fine. In TCOA, the last thing we hear about Fortunato is a faint jingle from the bells on his carnival hat. It says that it made Montressor a bit sick, and he had to hastily add the last brick onto the wall. It’s debated what that last jingle means amount many people- some people say it was him hanging his head and losing hope, others say that it was him dying, etc. This is similar to Coriolanus not knowing if he actually killed Lucy Gray, and feeling uneasy about if she could still be out there again.

I need to go back into the trust thing again, because did I mention Fortunato was at a carnival when Montressor whisked him away with the promise of checking fine wine? That’s why the story is called The Cask of Amontillado- it’s what motivates Fortunato to go down into the catacombs (where they stored wine, too). Montressor takes Fortunato out of the carnival while he’s drunk to go check out this rare wine.

It’s like this was MADE for Coriolanus and Lucy Gray. Coriolanus took Lucy Gray out of the district life, with promises of another, better life in the north, then left her for dead.

We can also look at the Montressor family motto- “No one harms me and gets away with it.” Who has harmed Coriolanus and gotten away with it? No one. Not Bobbin. Not Sejanus. Not Lucy Gray. Not Dean Highbottom. Not Arachne. It could be argued Livia Cardew did, but then again, her tribute died and she lost the Plinth prize to Coriolanus. So not as severely, but her crimes against him weren’t as severe, either.

Finally, back to the original thought of this post that started my rambling, the foot and the snake. It’s debated whether Montressor is the foot or the snake, because in the end, they’re the hurt by it and it could be either thing that was harmed first and isn’t getting away with it.

It reminds me a lot of, in the end of the BOSAS movie, the bird and the snake are shown. The bird flaps its wings, the snake strikes, and we don’t see what happens next.

Really, it’s the snake that made me have the connection. We could easily look at it as the foot crushing the snake like the capitol crushed the district, or Coriolanus biting back after the districts crushed his family in the war.

Just some food for thought!

Feel free to debate (but not argue), or add more in the replies & reblogs!

[comicaurora]

I didn't realize levels of context and such was something I wanted to think/talk on until I read today's page so I decided I might tap you about it if it's alright. Basically, I didn't realize how much I missed everyone Not Being Under Active Pressure until this page. It felt as though something's been made right with the world seeing Erin 0 concealment or hesitation taking notes about Dainix, and what really struck me and got my wheels turning was how this perfectly normal behavior hits so different off the heels of all the weight and pressure and such that Erin and everyone else has been under than it otherwise would hit. Obviously the framing of the page has something to do with the effect I described, but this page feels unique in its requiring context to feel the full scope of the impact.

However, that thought then bounced off a thing that happened where a contextless scene hit me like a truck and demanded I write it despite me having nothing else to apply it to, and I still read it back and need no context to prove to myself that it is a very solid and effective scene in spite of it being like. Five lines and two stage directions. This sort of thing happens with me on occasion where I have isolated moments, single loaded scenes that seem as though they come from context, and yet the context not only doesn't exist but doesn't really need to exist, yet the way it's structured, you think there would surely be grander story context around the scene.

(Sorry I seem to keep giving you walls of contextualizing [ha] before actually getting to the question part) What I wanted to ask you was: What are your thoughts on the relationship between story context and individual scenes/moments in a narrative? The sort of ins and outs of a scene as itself and a scene as part of a story, and a story as a whole and a story as a chain of scenes that give one another context.

This is a fun question, because the need for context to make moments hit was initially something that really frustrated me.

Like many people, my storycrafting started with a big pile of out of context Yo That Would Be So Cool moments - sweet one-liners, fight scenes, big flashy powerups. And I liked the Big Moments from the shows I watched, and wanted to know what made them hit so hard so I could replicate that emotional punch. Was it the kickin' theme music? The determined monologue? The speed lines? The yelling??

And I came to the frustrating conclusion that it was all the slow, often boring setup that had come before the big moment.

The sudden reveal of a superpowered evil side means nothing if we don't know what that character is supposed to act like. A character drawing motivation from a dead loved one tells us nothing if we don't ourselves know and love the person they lost. A jaded, powerful warrior will seem generic if we don't know the fun-loving child they spent two whole seasons being. A character backed into a desperate corner will reveal untapped wells of heroism we can't appreciate if we don't realize how rare this is for them. Powerful moments are in some way carried by what happens in them, but in a much larger way are carried by the contrast between them and the story that preceded them. Stripped of context, all the moments I loved - all the TVTropes "Crowning Moments of Awesome" - were either mindlessly flashy or oddly underwhelming.

In order to make the moment hit, even if the moment was so much more fun and interesting than anything else, the writer had to write all the buildup and pace it out enough that it stuck with the audience, and the audience had to experience that buildup. It just wasn't possible to write a story that was one amazing thing after another without the amazing things losing more and more impact.

We're all on tumblr here, so I'm sure we've all experienced That One Person We Follow getting into some new media property we don't know about. They post mini-essays about why That One Bit With Character A And Character B Was So Powerful, gifsets of two people standing in a dark room captioned with "they were in love here 😍" and extremely well-made fanart of people you don't recognize in vaguely saint-like poses, sometimes captioned with something you think cannot possibly be relevant. This is fine, because you're not the target audience for that fan content. That's for people who already know what the fanart is about - it's essentially referential art that doesn't stand on its own to an outside audience.

But I want people to watch and enjoy the things I watch and enjoy so I have people to talk about those things with. And that means I have spent long hours trying to figure out how to explain to a skeptical audience why a story I liked was so good, and what made the awesome moments work. This is a huge part of the impetus behind Trope Talks, and why the in-depth examples I use always have context as a preamble. Without the context, the moment doesn't work.

If you think a gutpunch is just the moment the fist connects, you're disregarding the windup that actually makes it hit.

[mmmfanfiction]

okay so I made the concept for the all girls school‼️☝️

Here’s a visual for the uniforms, I haven’t thought out the crests yet or what they’re gonna be based off. I feel like if I did the thing where there where dorms based off the seven (as well as who like the hero’s to there story where) it would be leaning too close to NRC and feel like a ripoff so I’ll figure it out. Though I do know their dorms are all on different sides of the school, the light dorms are on the east side of the school while the dark is on the west, the mixed dorms are in the middle, right next to the office/attendance room thingy. (Yk what I mean) for the most part they attend different classes based on their dorm group, save a few exceptions where certain classes are open to the whole school.

I didn’t draw any gym uniforms or specific winter/summer uniforms bc I lost motivation + my arms hurt, but they do have individual uniforms for those times, seasonal aren’t a changed by much except maybe some fur and everything’s thicker, same for summer, it’s just thinner fabric and maybe a different cut for the shirt, for gym they could wear a uniform they could buy or their own clothes (as long as they fit regulations) since gym is one of the classes that are open to all dorm sections.

and for clarification purposes, the dorms are broken up into the light, dark, and both, and from their they are broken into smaller dorms.

Here are also some characters I made up while thinking about this.

Wendell Smith.

Twisted from: Wendy Darling

pronouns:She/They/He

grade: Junior

age: 16

birth: 2/5

height: 5’11

Clubs: president of the writing club, attends the art club, the debate, the photography club, chess club, and cooking club.

Special magic: Blue to pink; this magic alters a persons emotional state. Wendell typically used it to make others happy

Fun fact: is the oldest of six siblings

The perfect child and student, with a vibrant social life and stellar academics. Wendell is always willing to help a person out, weather it be with something small or big, she’s the perfect person to ask for help.

Julia Smith

twisted from: Jane Darling

pronouns: She/Him

Grade: Sophomore

age:14

birth: 7/10

height: 5’2

Clubs: attends the sports club and foreign language club (on VERY rare occasions the anime club)

special magic: ???

fun fact: is the second youngest RA in the schools history

Bumped up a grade, Julia was and is very smart, always taking extra credit and helping teachers. However she is very standoffish and cold, resulting in few friends.

Ms Saleenia

Twisted from: Saleen

pronouns: she/her

occupation: school Counsler

Age: thirty something

birth: 1/14

height: 6’2

fun fact: is very biased when it comes to students *cough* merfolk *cough*

special magic:???

Saleenia is a good listener, and gives hard but good advice to her students, and treats most of them as if they where her own.

there’s probably more but I’m lazy and these where the only characters I had on hand, fun fact! I actually drew Saleenia on several different occasions! (She had a last name Istg but I can’t find it)

btw if you want to use my concept of an all girls school in twst specifically (like how this is set up, if it’s just an all girls school then idgaf) then please credit me, I’d love to see what people would do with this! Also my apologies if anyone’s done this before, I haven’t seen anything so I think I’m in the clear but if I’m not please tell me.

The orange and blue fishy’s are by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more and both the blue flower lace are by @phaea 🫶

[emarasmoak]

The Rings of Power: Charlie Vickers on That Monster Revelation

This is probably the most insightful interview I have read about Charlie's understanding of his character' motivations.

Taking a break from Season 2 production outside London, Charlie Vickers discussed the big revelation about his character and what it means for Halbrand’s relationship with Galadriel (Morfydd Clark).

When he auditioned for the Amazon prequel series “The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power,” Charlie Vickers did not know he would be playing two roles: the conflicted human Halbrand and the ultimate deceiver, Sauron. But he began to have suspicions early on.

During his audition, he was asked to read pieces from William Shakespeare’s “Richard III” and John Milton’s “Paradise Lost” — “literally auditioning as Satan,” he recalled by phone on Thursday, just hours before the Season 1 finale dropped overnight, on Friday. “That was a bit of a clue.”

But it wasn’t until filming was about to resume for the third episode (after a Covid production hiatus) that the series’s showrunners, Patrick McKay and J.D. Payne, took Vickers to the set for an evil fortress, turned to him and said, “Hail, Lord Sauron.”

“That was a seminal moment for me,” Vickers said.

While he missed out on playing the spiky armored version of the dark lord in the show’s prologue in Episode 1 (“I wish that was me!” he said), Vickers went all-in on his Sauron studies, reading “The Silmarillion” in its entirety and combing through obscure passages in Tolkien’s Legendarium as part of his “subconscious work.”

How does it feel to be the answer to the question tormenting the internet? Or if you’re Sauron, maybe you enjoy tormenting the internet.

"[Laughs.] Exactly. Maybe there has been some kind of sick enjoyment that I’ve been getting. Luckily, I’ve managed to stay off the internet, but it’s been hard to avoid. I’ve had friends guessing and telling me I’m Sauron ever since the second episode, which I’ve not been able to confirm or deny. So it’s a relief."

"What’s been so interesting about the show is that it doesn’t shy away from the lore. For the people who know, there are little Easter eggs or hints here and there. When you look back to the second episode, you’re like, “OK, that makes sense in the grand scheme of things.” So I think it’s great that there’s been so much debate."

You once mentioned that you found useful things in Tolkien’s letters, although you didn’t specify which ones. I took that as a possible reference to the period in which Sauron sought redemption. But then the showrunners talked recently about another way to read Sauron-as-Halbrand: as a power addict. What was it that you found in Tolkien that helped shape your portrayal?

"I think the repentant Sauron is a really interesting thing. But I like to leave it ambiguous because it was ambiguous in Tolkien’s writing, such as in Letter 131, and in “Morgoth’s Ring,” in the History of Middle-earth series. He spoke of Sauron repenting “if only out of fear.” I think his repentance is fascinating — and this is why I don’t want to say necessarily how I interpreted it as an actor — because it creates two different [possibilities] for Halbrand."

"If you look at him as if he’s genuinely repentant, and he wants to escape this dark path and live as someone who’s been humbled, then Galadriel inadvertently draws him back to this power. She says to him in the smithery, “There’s no peace here,” and that scene illuminates this whole idea for him of: “Well, you’re right, there is no peace for me as a regular person. My peace is in power. I need to rule. I need to lead.” And she literally gives him the keys to the kingdom and sends him back down the rabbit hole. That is, if you view him as repenting genuinely."

"But, if you view his repentance as an act, then it leans more into his deception, and his deception of her, in that she’s a tool for him to get back to where he wants to be. You rarely see Halbrand alone before the finale, save for this moment when he’s in the smithery, staring at his pouch, making his decision. Otherwise, you mostly see him through the eyes of other characters."

And yet he’s about to cry in that moment by himself.

"I always like to think that in shape-shifting, the best way to deceive is to fully take on the form of what you’re trying to portray: thinking, feeling, living, breathing as a human man. Only through a wholehearted embodiment of his form could he deceive these massively influential figures. This is even when he’s by himself, because the gods are always watching. And we know that he fears the gods; we know that he’s scared. Because Tolkien says that explicitly."

"He can use Galadriel as a tool. She knows the right people. She gets into the right rooms. If he’s by her side, it can only lead to good things, as long as he remains undiscovered. So I made a decision as the best way for me to approach it, to make it real for me. And let people interpret it as they will."

Did you decide for yourself about a lot of little details? Like, what’s in his pouch? Why was he at sea? Was his injury was self-inflicted so that Galadriel would take him to the elves?

"I have a belief about what’s in the pouch, but I won’t share that. Him being at sea may or may not be explored farther down the line. The injury, yes, I think he wounds himself, because he was very aware of what was coming. He thought he had stopped it, but he knows there’s only one way to get out of this mess. He risks this Halbrand form to get to the elves because he understands that the only way he can be healed is through their power and magic."

Do you think he wanted Galadriel to figure it out?

"Yes. He’s ready for her to see him for who he is, and he thinks she’s ready to know it. He makes this pitch to her, and it’s so closely linked to the mirror of Galadriel in “The Fellowship of the Ring.” It gives it an interesting context, I think."

He offers to make her his queen. Is that a marriage proposal?

"That’s something I thought about a lot, but I don’t think so. W.H. Auden wrote an essay on Tolkien, and he said something along the lines of, “Evil loves only itself.” [“Evil, defiantly chosen, can no longer imagine anything but itself.”] So I think in his pitch to Galadriel, it cannot mean that he loves her or that there’s any kind of romantic relationship. There should be no ambiguity around the fact that Sauron is evil — he’s terrible, and he’s using Galadriel to enhance his power."

"Throughout the season, she shows him a different way of ruling and maybe illuminates some things for him. So in making that pitch, I think he’s saying, “Join me and we can rule, and I can coordinate everything and rehabilitate Middle-earth.” But having said that, I also think he would have gotten there anyway without her. He would have descended back into evil. It was inevitable."

Haladriel shippers will despair.

"[Laughs.] Shipping, by the way, is actually a word that Morfydd taught me! Hopefully people will see that any kind of romantic feeling, which couldn’t exist, vanishes into thin air."

What’s the plan going forward, given that Sauron is a shape-shifter?

"There are a lot of twists and turns coming with the character of Sauron. We know that [his disguise as] Annatar is such a massive part of this world, and the prospect of that is really exciting to me. I can’t say much more than that."

"I love that cloak so much! I didn’t get to keep it, unfortunately. I have one gift that was given to me by one of the stunt guys, Daniel Andrews, which is a T-shirt printed with an artist’s image of Halbrand doing the sword flip on the back. That’s Danny’s trick; he’s had it in his stunt arsenal for 30 years, and he’s been trying to get it into a show for 30 years. There’s been nothing released with Halbrand, so I haven’t dared to wear it, even around the house. But that’s the coolest souvenir."

Annatar is the lord of gifts. Did you get or give any gifts on set? Maybe that wonderful hooded cloak you wear to Mordor?

[pheita]

All about this Writblr

Through some strange circumstances, I realized I didn't posted an intro post for the last 1 1/2 years. And here I am wondering why interactions are fading....yeah don't say a word. About me: I am 39 years old, which means I am sort of a “grandma” on Tumblr given the fact how many young folks and teenagers are around here. I am a spoonie. The list of illnesses is long, and I spare you to read it all, but I can say so far it is a “lovely” mix of mental and physical stuff with chronic pain being the main culprit. So, there will be times I might need days to answer something or skip over writing games because I simply don't have the energy. Identifying as bisexual and demisexual for over a decade, I start to question a lot about myself some time ago because of some discussions I had with friends. Since childhood, I always counted as a tomboy because I have zero interest in the drawer's society like to use. So I came to use the term queer. So, don't come at me about the whole queer is a slur thing. Every term used in the LGBTQA+ community was used as a slur at one point, so chill. Listing all the shows and stuff I like would take a lot of time, so I spare us all this long list. I am always in for fantasy, sci-fi, supernatural or thriller shows/movies and books. When I am not writing I either create jewelry with epoxy resin or wire, go swimming, draw when I can, like to play videogames and discovered book binding for myself, kn it and crochet. I am notorious for starting new WIPs or switching through the started WIPs since I only can write them when I feel them in some way. It is less an interest/motivation thing for me. You can always find the WIPs I work on in a pinned post on my blog. Even when the main couple are male/female you can bet your ass on the fact they are never heteronormative. Straight characters became a rare thing in my writing when we talk about the main cast. So always assume my main cast is LGBTQA+ in some shape. My three main WIPs I work to various degrees on are Blood Night, the first book in the Cursed Book series, a fantasy novel, found family, sins of the father, finding out who you are, slow burn mlm romance (which will develop into poly relationship throughout the series), strong sibling bonds, demi-romantic pansexual male lead who is actual a lust demon world inspired by Monster Hunter games, Dragon Age games, The Witcher Flowers of Fire, a modern fantasy/erotica novel with polyamory, found family, fated warriors (we don't do fated lovers here), young vs old conflict, and a female lead who is a nymph, changing between two POV world inspired by myths from all around the world, Lost Girl, No Rest for the Wicked first book of the Queen of Hell series, supernatural romance, slow burn romance, sins of the past, finding your path, deaking with a life as chronical ill person, changing between 3 POV two of them female. inspired by Lucifer (it was a out of spite reaction to season 3) I will use the community labels where necessary, so some of the snippets will be tagged as mature. If you want to at least notice if I post something, you should at least blur it. I will always put warnings ahead what to expect. Since I ironically started writing more NSFW shortly before the community labels became a thing, there is a side-blog run by me where I post NSFW short stories. If anyone is interested.

[metellastella]

Animation Usurper

Happy International Asexuality Day!

Fun Fact, I wrote this during Ace Week in October. But apparently I either am so forgetful, or dissatisfied with my prose or am distractible or just couldn’t motivate myself to do clarifying edits, or some combo of those, here we are all these months later. 

So. Let’s make up for lost time.

I’m very far along the ace spectrum, so I typically don’t like Western ‘adult’ cartoons. (as a result of a particular brand of ace, not all ace people experience repulsion) Really, it’s more because the industry has collectively decided ‘adult cartoons’ should mean almost always be *obnoxious and in-your-face* about sexuality, as opposed to some animes made for adults whose focus isn’t that but maybe it includes it occasionally. 

To go on a bit of an unrelated tangent, Japan has a lot more respect for the ART medium of animation. And aside from aesthetics and effort, middling thematic variety between ‘this is all about sex’ and ‘for kids.’ 

(not fond of violence either) 

Sadly though, I find the style repetitive and haven’t really done a deep dive on anime. It doesn’t sate the ‘novelty-seeking’ aspect of my psychology. But I venerate all the effort. I just wish there was some fusion between the two, where Japanese animation was a little less rigid in its style dictates and Western animation aimed a little higher for quality. Maybe that’s arising, as you’ll see here in a bit later. 

It also doesn’t help that Western adult cartoons seem to think it’s funny to have a dial-it-in art style. 

I don’t like the idea of someone spending months of their lives, limited time on earth per minutes of animation, just to have it look scruffy, or flat, derivative, or unimaginative. That is incredibly disheartening to picture, as an artist. Even just being a hobbyist. 

Call it vicarious existential anxiety, I suppose. 

Maybe some might misread that concern and call me a ‘snob’ for that, but, hey, what’re ya gonna do. 

It’s as if, since again they seem to have very little self-respect for their stories or characters, the crude animation and character design itself is a crutch to add to the writing of comedy, and should be laughed at. 

Maybe people do find that funny. 

And note, I’m not even necessarily talking about making animation realistic or proportioning bodies exactly like anime does. Elegance can be found in the simplest of character designs, if someone deliberately creates it that way. See: the animation studio that produced The Secret of Kells, Song of the Sea, The Breadwinner, Wolfwalkers, and most recently, My Father’s Dragon. 

(kinda glad I dragged my feet and got to give a shout-out to that last one) 

Lego Monkie Kid, for that matter!!!!

Cannot say enough good things about that show. I’ll probably make a whole separate post about it. 

To be honest, I quite frequently find myself digging for aesthetically pleasing ‘moving art,’ and sometimes the story is secondary. A stationary artist doesn’t have to tell me a whole story for me to enjoy their painting- and artist animators who just happen to draw a bad card from the deck and not to be blessed with pairing to good writers nonetheless pique my interest. 

I’ve done enough stationary art browsing over my lifetime, that, in fact, maybe I’ve jaded myself a little. If even a tiny fraction of the stellar character design in art communities online were animated, I think people would start to see the problem, and variety would blossom. 

So, that brings me to an interesting intersection of this musing. 

And don’t worry, the ace spec subject does come back into it full circle. 

Independent animators.

If you had described these two very well-known web animations to me beforehand, and asked me which you think I would like more, I would’ve selected ... 

Bee and Puppycat. 

I mean. Obviously. Cute creatures and whimsical settings. Not too adult and not too babyish either, something that is astonishingly rare among Western animation?? 

You might have heard grumblings of this before in fandom spaces, questioning and wondering about why there seems to be no middle ground.

But, oddly, even though I fully mentally recognize B & P as a landmark achievement, both as a step outside monopolized media production spaces and hitting a sweet spot that is sorely lacking within them ... I just didn’t resonate with it. 

This is baffling to me, because as I mentioned, the style of it is very appealing, so what gives? I’m put off of some shows with good writing because of aesthetic style, (as a corollary to the seeking styles and disregarding writing, kinda like someone may vibe to acoustic stylings of a piece of music even if the lyrics are utterly insipid on their own) but usually the reverse does not happen. Even if I didn’t like the writing or plotting, which is far from the case, as the writing’s fine, I should have been motivated to finish it.

Honestly, I haven’t quite worked that out yet, tho I have an inkling, and it’s related to suggesting an IRL friend to record Bee’s lines since she likes it so much. 

But, that’s not the reason I started this ramble, and not as well-developed as my thoughts on art styles, so forgive me for leaving it aside. 

Enter the Dark Horse animation that, had you asked me beforehand if I would like, I would’ve said ‘yeah prob not for me, I’ll move along.’ 

Helluva Boss (and Hazbin Hotel). 

There are LOADS of reasons I shouldn’t take a shine to this cartoon. 

1. HH & HB are barely above the likes of Rick and Morty and Simpsons et all in its incessant ‘adult’ jokes 

and again don’t misunderstand me here, I /enjoy/ Star Trek Lower Decks. It makes tolerable and judicious use of adult jokes and doesn’t overly rely on them.

2. HH’s style- while absolutely cool- is behind B & P in terms of preference. BUT. In terms of creativity and flow, is heads and shoulders above practically all big name cartoons out there. What I call the “golf ball eye” phenomenon, in which eyes are perfectly round with mere dots. So you get two moldy foods to consume for the price of one: lack of variation in creativity AND lack of character expressiveness and nice looks. Three sci fi examples are Star Trek: Lower Decks, Final Space, and Solar Opposites. One I love, the middle is not bad, and S.O.’s humor is great. Buuuuut. Their face aesthetics….. Even SU Pearl’s exceedingly simple, no-pupil eyes add SO much to the draw of the character with just the inclusion of a single color. I’m not asking for much. I promise. Not even Owl House style highlights are a bare requirement. I know how hard animating is. I like things like She-Ra, soft and round shapes, and tend to dislike sharp edges (Sorry, most recent Ninja Turtles remake. Kipo, you’re fine hunny, just a lil off) and yet. Somehow HH has bypassed that into ‘wtf why do I love this so much.’ Wily little sneaks. 

I mean, when the likes of Aquaman 2022 feels like ‘a breath of fresh air’ because there’s so little visual variety in animation, you know something’s amiss. Not to knock it too hard, though. I wish that had been that artist’s “breakout role,” tbh, instead of the first job he got stuck with before that, because he will be forever remembered as the guy who ruined a nostalgic fandom’s wishes at behest of executives and not the guy who made something as whimsical and fun as this iteration of Aquaman. The character was usually the butt of the joke among DC fans to begin with, and therefore has more leeway to be silly. That style won extra points that supplements its questionable aesthetic raw merit. To be fair, there’s so much motion in the character’s body emoting, that also goes beyond very stiff, basic poses common in other shows, I have to give points for that, too. 

3. HH universe takes religious concepts and obviously has no respect for them. In a somewhat similar but more lowkey way, recalling a screed by a practicing Hindu who was understandably angry at the less-than-respectful comedic moments in ATLA towards certain cultural aspects, I simply find the /premise/ cringe. I know cringe culture is dead and all. I even agree with that general sentiment. I think Vivzie will sleep fine at night if one backwater Tumblr blog- who’s ultimately still complimenting her- uses the term as a one-off. 

It doesn’t help that the vision of Hell typically forwarded in the modern day that is used to terrorize fundie-raised kids during childhood doesn’t resemble the original Hebrew belief and therefore the whole show ends up reminiscent of so much IRL totally unnecessary angst. 

I’d almost rather have a fantasy setting that had its own underworld concept, or could be similar to HH canon but with 4th wall breaks that slyly hinted they’re all in Dante’s Inferno which was, historically, political satire of the time (essentially a longform political cartoon, hue hue) and 0% Biblical to begin with …..  Idk. 

(though I did have a strange conversation with someone recently which indicated Dante’s Inferno may have been based on pieces of the Quran. Weird.) 

4. HB characters are abrasive. I could barely get through Homestuck. Lower Decks is here again a good comedy counterexample of characters that aren’t CONSTANTLY backbiting each other for the sake of a joke.

(or verbally abusing children, as one sci fi protagonist everybody loves to hate)

So, the mystery: how did I manage to stick with this cartoon, with so much pulling against it? 

Again, can’t quite put my finger on it 

But, I know that by the second episode, it had one little grip on me with Stolas sweetly serenading his daughter against a backdrop of the cosmos and exploding planets. 

Encouraged, I thought that perhaps there would be more sincere moments like that. I was hurting for musical animation after all, I can barely comprehend why it’s not more common. (sadly, Centaurworld did not really effectively scratch that itch, for me personally, tho I did latch onto a couple songs long term). Corporations want people hooked on their content, but you don’t offer us that which burrows into the brain and repeats itself for days at a time? 

The one time capitalism fails to take advantage of something, and it’s the pleasant things. Figures.

So, back into the thick of it, I’m halfway through the season and have found some bits and pieces to like, but still am questioning if the likable outweighs the negatives. Then I see Blitz and Moxie do their duet. Now that scene alone was worth everything else. Purely aesthetically it’s a treasure, a subtle shift in artstyle that mimicked the likes of Disney, and the character depth upgraded several notches.

So now by this point, I knew, I’m gonna watch the rest of this series at least. Dunno if I was gonna be super invested in the fandom, but not everything you watch will consume your soul like that, so all good. 

And then. 

Drumroll. 

The Wrath Ring pair visits the club. 

They are relentlessly mocked for being ‘too vanilla’ for everyone around them. 

Man. 

You don’t know HOW hard that hit me. You can’t comprehend it. 

Feeling constantly out of place b/c of not being allosexual. It’s not a perfect parallel obviously, but it nonetheless struck a deep vein of accumulated angst. 

Irony of ironies, the cartoon that may have slipped through my fingers because of VERY SIMILAR issues to that scene IRL managed to take a pickaxe to my psyche. 

Seeing two people being unapologetic about being more modest in their desires in the face of what could be interpreted as amatonormativity on steroids was indescribable. 

In fact, the parallel gets even closer to reality when you consider any perfectly ordinary woman who’s had the accusations flung at her for being ‘frigid’ or ‘repressed’ whether by men pressuring her or well-meaning friends or acquaintances who think they know what’s good for her better than she does. 

An excellent counter-anthem: 

I’d think she’d resonate with this too, and if not, maybe see the episode with new eyes after reading this little entry. 

In the modern era, in these ways, there is ubiquitous prude shaming and over-forced sex-positivity even of non-aces. 

So, I formally present to you my carefully constructed headcanon on behalf of bygone Ace Week: Moxie and Millie are both gray ace. Their attractions are more subtle than that palm sweaty, instant-draw that ‘primary attraction’ often generates, and subsequent strikes of physical desire. 

They might or might not have ‘secondary attraction’ as their only experience (demi) in the stylings of the very popular Friends-To-Lovers trope, but without their backstory of how they met, we can’t determine that yet. 

They are alloromo, of course. Alloace. Probably hetace. 

After some reflection, as an inversion, Blitz could probably be read as aroallo. 

(I know it’s played as if he’s simply ‘afraid’ of getting in a serious relationship, but if you pay close attention, his platonic relationships are presented the exact same way- so it could be just relationships and emotional vulnerability in general. It doesn’t directly have to mean he experiences romo attraction. We don’t see a lot of him deliberating and being ‘drawn’ to it but shying away- rather he’s so oblivious to romance he stumbles into inviting Stolas out without even once thinking what it might mean to the other. Sorry but, that is an incredibly common experience among aro people, not realizing how they’re coming across to another person!!) (and his response to a clearly romantic overture of watching movies and cuddling even more hints that his brain operates in aro mode)  

And Angel Dust gives off vibes which are much more straightforwardly aroallo.

And to round it all out, we have the canon aroace character, Alastor. 

And thus concludes HH’s careful courting of me. The initial rocky start, the resistance, has evaporated and I am invested.

...

P.S. 

If you’d like to see some more independent animation, check out Lackadaisy, which is absolutely stunning 

And Talon, the fluidity of which is somewhat rougher, but is nonetheless ambitious, has some neat light effects, and definitely for those who adore dinosaurs 

[hythlodaeus-mynewoldfriend]

Swap Chat QOTD:

Another one cause I have five ocs to talk about here!

What was your OC's relationship/dynamic with Emet-Selch? What did they think of him?

Sib tried to tackle the man on sight first time he introduced himself. There was a heavy mistrust there and she would poke fun at him and make sarcastic remarks just generally be annoying. However! The more time around him the more their talks would end up making her think on life and her choices within it, namely remembering those that one has lost. There was a moment where they started to bond in ShB when Sib took Minfilia out to find a little late night party in Lakeland and Sib asked him to tell her stories about the little details, the mundane, and fun customs of the past to try and make it seem more real in her mind, he obliged a few things but not a lot of it but it had her thinking the rest of the night. They never got along but there was a bit of an understanding in the end of ShB enough that when it came to Stasia she had a much more open mind about everything with her using it as a sort of redemption from how she treated emet. Fast forward to EW and man does her perspective change, she’s still poking fun at this man but she listens more, she opens up to him, and the two share a moment that feels so much like how Emet and Deimos’ dynamic once was (since at the time he hadn’t really spoken to Deimos beyond work stuff in months) and it is crushing to hear the whole story because he actually kind of didn’t mind her and she helped him realize how to best start to repair his relationship with his brother.

Demos was always the more skeptical one and while he didn’t trust Emet, he didn’t just write him off completely either. Demos took a lot of time to observe the man and his actions, listened and asked questions, and really just thought about everything before drawing any sudden conclusion. It was by this method that Demos figured out sooner than everyone else that there was some special connection Emet had with him and Sib, he wasn’t sure on the details but he knew it was there. Demos ended up spending the most time talking with Emet in ShB when everyone else was asleep, it was through these conversations that made Emet take more interest in Demos and wanting to protect him because it was how he decided that Demos was the real Azem (which he was correct on a technicality). And this closeness (relatively) was what had Demos attempt to parlay with Emet to give him the light from Sib and let her and the Scions go in peace as there was no guarantee they’d ever find a way to save both worlds. However Emet kind of gave a non answer that Demos interpreted as an agreement and so when it came for the confrontation just before the Final Days reconstruction Demos was pissed and ready to fight because Emet took whatever light was in Demos and gave it all to Sib to really test her (really the man was banking on being able to have his cake and eat it to in getting his brother back and his mega sineater in one go). Demos rarely ever lets his emotions overtake him like they did during that confrontation so it was a lot that he could never forgive the man for or ever accept as being something that could be justified. In EW though it was a hurt that he felt because there were times that Demos swears that he saw that man back in ShB and to know that it was something that was true and not just manipulation just hurt. He took a step back though with interactions because he still was not over the events in ShB and he felt Sib needed to better connect with the man as he had doubts that she really grasped his motivations and used his actions as lessons to learn from.

Anthea was very caring of Emet, they wanted so badly to let him know that he wasn't being sidelined and they weren't just taking Hyth away from him. There was this deep love and friendship there that made them a family. Anthea would make sure he had dinner every night, he'd let Anthea take solace in the calm of his office when the city became too much, like it was heartbreaking for them both to lose Hyth and then to find each other on different sides with the sundering. Anthea was very upset with him and the two didn't speak until in the Aetherial sea once more as they felt hurt by his words and would only speak if he was ready to apologize and acknowldege that what he'd done was wrong, but he was just as stubborn which resulted in the two wanting so badly to reconnect but still so far away even though both hung out on the moon now and then. Like it just is one of those things where if they had just broken the silence between them they could have come to some repaired relationship but that never happened. This little paragraph kind of just sums it up nicely as to the way their relationship ended up.

“Love.” Anthea shifts, bringing their knees up to their chest, “He made a very tempting offer, made it sound so simple I was having half a mind to join the crusade. I was truthful when I told him I would do anything to bring him back to us,” they give a small shrug, “I probably still would if there were any other way, but as much as it would satisfy me and bring me a form of happiness, I cannot say that it would do so for him….and that is something I cannot live with.” They look up at the stars a moment, pinpointing the arrangement the two once made while lying in the cool night air before either had really seen life start to move. “We both love him deeply and want the same thing, but I think in the end we remember him differently. Whoever is more correct doesn’t matter because he was him and there really will never be another Hythlodaeus like the one where our memories of that man converge. Unique to a fault.”

Deimos is next and he adored and looked up to his brother Emet (technically though cousins) so much growing up and even as an adult. Like Deimos spent so much time trying to make Emet proud of him and it’s not that it wasn’t for naught it was more that it wasn’t needed as Emet was already proud of him. And yeah Emet was harsh with him but he was looking out for him like an older sibling did and saw the potential in Deimos in a way that was more true to the man than others saw in him. Everyone else looked at skill level and application of them whereas Emet saw the heart and soul potential for the good that could come from it. Deimos though also felt very unworthy of everything he had accomplished and really being Azem was the biggest thing he never wanted once put into practice and felt that if anyone should be on the Convocation it was Hades and did an impulsive action to (in his mind) help Hades get a fair consideration for the role of Emet-Selch. It would later cause a pretty big rift as it put so much into question on how much of his own merit Emet had earned him the seat and Deimos really did all he could to apologize and repair what was broken. And while they did reconcile it was the kick in the ass Deimos needed to really mature and meet the potential Emet always saw in him. When the Final Days started to manifest in other parts of the star it was really hard on Deimos to leave and cut himself from Emet in search of a better answer/solution and it was his pride that stopped him from ever responding to Emet’s letters or going back, since he knew he didn’t act accordingly but was determined to prove Emet and the Convocation wrong. He still loved his brother so deeply that when Phobos went looking for him to assure their friends they were safe and alive, Phobos sacrificed a lot of his own magic to open the rift bigger to send Emet, Elidibus, and Lahabrea to safety from the sundering.

And lastly we have Stasia, she has a lot of complicated feelings about the man. On the one hand she is gracious to him that he took her in and taught her magic and elevated her potential and cared for her in some capacity but on the other she feels he viewed her as nothing more than another tool in his plans to rejoin the shards and bring back his old world. There is such a visceral hate towards him after hearing him say he didn’t consider sundered individuals as truly alive that she helped in orchestrating his death by letting the Exarch free. While Emet didn’t lump her in with the other sundered souls, it still sounded and felt like it to her. Going back to Elpis and it just rubbed salt into the wounds to see this man that was so different than the one she knew and to see him deny that he could ever do the things he does do just angered her to her core because in her mind he did forsake his brethren because he forsook her who he had (in the future) claimed to be part of them. And then to see that he became more impulsive in his plans because he saw Hythlodaeus’ soul on the star just felt like such a slap in the face. He spent all this time telling her not to get attached to people and never do anything without it being beneficial to you in the long run only to see that he did the opposite just had her throwing the metaphorical “Worlds Most Okay” dad mug at his face. Like she feels so much hurt from that man and despite knowing where he’s coming from it didn’t elicit any sympathy as that was never the man she knew, the one she knew was a manipulative psychopath and no amount of sympathetic backstory would negate that. She will never forgive him and doesn’t feel like she needs to/has too.

[lumilasi]

yes Hi I really love the two cutiepie lesbians but couldn't find much info about them, can you give us the tea about the two? (The blond(?) And the sunshine!) Love your art ~❤️

Glad you like them! (I don't know what to classify Marci's hair either. Light brown? Blond? Dirty Blond? It is a mystery)

Yeah unfortunately there isn't much about Marci and Mariella yet, given they are relatively new characters: that image was the first time I drew them since making their bios, and even the info in those is a bit outdated now OTL (Also Marci's one needs updates given how I will draw her changed thanks to this pic in question)

Also they are not really part of the main group for each story & I have a LOT of characters, so I haven't had much time or motivation to draw them either. That doesn't mean there isn't a lot of story and lore behind the two though, especially Marci. One thing I can guarantee is that if a character of mine has no lore yet once born, there WILL be a novel's worth later lmaooo

....This does lead to a problem where this will get long-winded, because I HAVE to bring up a couple other characters to explain them properly, which means I'll have to give a summary of said characters too....and world details lore....

Since you asked though, I guess I'll try to summarize; I'll break this up in sections + add images for the characters in question. Maybe I'll put the lore explanation under the cut so those who aren't interested don't have to suffer through a long post:

MARCI'S POWERS

She's a "Weaponsmith Warlock" also known in-world by the name Spatha (Latin for a specific type of weapon) Warlock, I.E has the ability to create any weapon known to man up to the current times, she forms them from red, bloodlike liquid substance. Her power comes from the Herald of War aka one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. (He's not a warmonger in this take but more of a weary soldier who hates his existence)

BACKSTORY

Marci is an orphan, and she originates from Australia in the human world. She was picked up/"adopted" by her former boss Kenzo Yoma/Faydream as a teenager in the 80'ies, as she'd recently discovered her magic powers and was struggling to control them. He basically offered to mentor her for her powers and she'll in turn get away from her shitty foster home. She agreed and moved with him to the Mirror realm (the place where all the mythical beings of this world live, I still haven't figured out a better name for it lol).

She was never really officially adopted by Kenzo though, and acted more as a student than a daughter, but they did still have a good relationship initially, to the point Marci willingly started working as his right hand woman once she was adult/confident enough with her powers.

FIRST DETOUR: Kenzo summary

Kenzo is a dream-eater, also known as a nightcrawler/bogeyman. In this story they are beings born from people's trauma that feed on said trauma and people's fears and nightmares. Kenzo and his brother Yuuji are a rare twin-born pair so they are especially powerful among their kind, having been born the same time from brothers who experienced the same trauma the same time. (Them appearing Japanese is because the said humans were Japanese)

He works as the head of a special organization called The Shadowless, whose job is to keep the Mirror realm hidden from humans & make sure powerful magic artifacts don't end up in human hands. They kind of protect both sides from each other essentially.

Kenzo is the antagonist of his character set, BUT he is not a "villain." You know, the whole "All villains are antagonists, but not all antagonists are villains." He's basically just a man who nearly lost his wife Evena & daughter Avane once, and this incident caused the said wife to suffer from severe mental health complications, which has essentially strained their familial relationships badly.

He struggles to handle the situation so he's buried himself in his work, causing some of his more negative personality traits to manifest stronger bit by bit. (Tendencies for manipulation, lower empathy, "end justifies the means" thinking) He's still relatively close with his daughter and brother, though tends to argue with the latter a lot, something he didn't do so much in the past. His daughter & brother are also working on trying to get him to realize he's spiraling, while also trying to protect others from him if necessary.

RETIREMENT

Marci eventually retired from her job due to multitude of factors, such as seeing her boss' downward spiral after the incident with his family and starting to lose trust in him, but primarily due to an incident, where she lost control of her powers due to stress in a mission, causing an explosion that killed innocent people by accident. She now works in a magical instrument repair shop, handling the back storage and the like. (She wanted a job where she didn't have to use her powers & always liked anything music related)

MARISA

Before Marci got this job, she actually went to stay with some friends she'd made a while back, the guardians of the Blue Life tree. There, she ended up growing fond of a recently manifested spirit, a little girl called Marisa, and eventually ended up becoming her adoptive parent as the kid basically chose her to be her mom (Marisa literally pointed at her after a while and declared her her momma lol)

SECOND DETOUR: Moth Spirits and Life trees

Life trees are magical trees within this realm, that call forth lost souls who died with regrets/unfinished business/died before they could have a proper life to begin with. They essentially grant these souls a second chance at life to complete their unfinished business, albeit symbolically majority of the time. (Example: If their regret was never confessing their love to someone, typically the spirit completes this by finding a new person to love and confess to them. This is because often the people in question have already passed on themselves)

Moth spirits are these reborn souls, and their visual characteristics depend on the tree of origin, and the tree depends on their manner of death/who they were as human. Currently there are only 3 trees left, A Weeping Willow (Green tree) Wisteria (The purple tree) and Blue Spruce (The blue tree, obvs). Marisa was born from the blue tree, because she was simply a child who died young accidentally. Moth spirits born from this tree are always blue, but can have orange as an accent color to their appearance. The skin is always a shade of blue though.

MARIELLA

Mariella is a tree nymph who was born out of a seed rather than "human" way. (Both birth types are possible, which happens tends to depend on if the nymph lives in more rural or urban parts of the world. More urbanized ones tend to prefer direct birthing and act as direct parents to their children, whereas seedlings like Mariella tend to live in a communion where all older nymphs/dryads act as the parents to the younglings.)

She used to work as a Guardian for the green Life Tree, but it became mentally and emotionally too taxing given the nature of the spirits born from it. (Tragic deaths with foul play often involved, including self-harm. basically the most traumatized group of the 3)

She started working in the city as one of the park-keepers for the biggest park in there, which is where she met Marci and Marisa, and the two ladies hit it off pretty quickly. They now live together in a new apartment, though their daughter moved out a year ago as she left for university to become a magic-mechanical engineer.

OTHER IMPORTANT CHARACTERS:

Avane (Green haired lady)- Kenzo's daughter whom Marci used to babysit a bit, and even nowadays cares for, sometimes helping her meddle into her dad's business out of concern, both for Ava's safety, but also concern over the damage Kenzo could do in his current mental state. Visually comes mainly after her mother apart from her eyes. Mantis Fairy/Dream-eater mixed heritage.

Sebastian - Her occasional coworker in the instrument shop, also happens to be a member of her favorite local rock band (she didn't realize this until he invited her to a concert as a VIP guest) A Wyvern

Aimi (My friend's character)- her successor and Kenzo's new right hand woman. Often she is the one who contacts her in behalf of Kenzo, and Marci begrudgingly considers her a friend. Ice cream loving fiend, a Grand Fairy

Herald of War/The Soldier (No design yet) - Her Deity/source of power essentially. Considers Marci his favorite as she respects and fears her power appropriately in his eyes. Often visits them and pretends to their daughter he's Marci's relative, so Marisa thinks he's her "uncle" and has no clue he's a powerful apocalyptic entity. Mariella knows but plays along and has a fairly friendly relationship with the weary soldier.

PROTAGONIST CONNECTIONS:

Azul/Chester (spin off protag, blue hair): One of Marci's friends she met through Kenzo's family doctor, who is Azul's adoptive father.

Jurou/Alistair (Main story protag): A tattooist who made her snake tattoo, Avane's boss and the person whose power is currently the most of-interest to Kenzo, given how powerful he actually is. Single bi Goth Dad, though he's starting to date Avane's uncle Yuuji.

OTHER FACTS:

Marci is asexual lesbian, doesn't mind being intimate with her GF if she wants it. They generally tend to be more "cuddles, domestic affection and quality time" type of couple over bedroom funtimes.

Marci is actually around 50-60 in human years, its just that life-expectancy for magic wielders and magical beings is typically measured more in centuries, so she ages slower now that she's fully unlocked her magic. She's roughly equivalent of a human in their thirties.

Mariella's exact age is unknown, but she is generally seen to be late twenties/early thirties in human form

Marci's surname Raye is actually her second name; she did not want to use her foster family's surname, and didn't feel comfortable adopting her mentor's surname as she didn't feel like she had the right to (and later wouldn't want to, seeing how he started to change for the worse)

Mariella's surname was the name of the nymph communion she comes from, which is typical tradition for those who come from these groups.

[santajp]

Hey random question!! I've been following your blog, and really have been liking your photography! How did you get so good? Like, I know part of photography is right place and time, but you just make everything look beautiful?? Honestly excited to see more! Please keep takin pictures! Also, did you know there's another name for a portrait photo? When the subject is you, it's called beauty! No matter the angle or lighting.

Awww! Thanks for liking the photos and shooting a question! X3

As for how I got so good, I was far from born with anything. I had to learn all this stuff, but I'd say a big thing that helped me wanna learn more was a photographer who was way older than me and much more experienced giving me a personal moment to see him in action. Now I personally had already done photography with my phone and had only recently gotten a bigger camera (*a phone is a fine starting point since many basic ideas of a good photo are the same no matter what you use), but a quote that will always stick with me was, "You are smarter than the camera." In a basic sense, he meant to stop using all the automatic features and really get to know the ins and outs of the tool you used, but in a grander sense, it made me finally get what taking a photo was, less of the camera doing it for me and more of me trying to capture the world in my own way and through things I cared about.

From there I learned how to change the lighting and posing of my photos alongside what made a photo stand out and be pretty, by school classes and many, many photos that were not good enough. Much of my subjects for photos were things I found pretty anyway, which made the job change to capturing that. I wanted to pose my toy bear in funny situations, bring my camera on any nature walk I could take, snap shots of any city, and try to capture anything I found value in. I've ran outside when many others were simply doing their usual lives, myself going crazy in a parking lot over how great the sky looked after my last class, almost baffled at how you could just not look at it, or taken walks for no other reason than to get more photos. I have pictures of my friends, even if I don't speak much to them anymore, family I rarely see, pets I have lost, and so many things from all the places I've been to. ( All of these photos are saved in multiple places by the way! Be safe with your backups! >:] )

So, to answer your question in a long and sappy way, the main way I got good was through others and by simply living with my camera by my side. There are most certainly technical things, and you must practice, but that finding of meaning is the biggest aspect of doing any kind of art I've found.

I can draw, but only if I've seen others that inspire or a world which gives the process of doing so meaning. I can learn more along the way of drawing my OCs a million times too!

I can play a song, but only if the notes make me hear a depth that can simply be to please the ears or make me dance or laugh. I'm not a Vylet Pony level artist, but I sure as hell am not gonna stop learning music from a lack of current skill beacuse I have too many songs I love that make me wanna make one too.

And I can write, but only if what I'm writing gives me the motivation to put my thoughts into words, gives me the want to make more for myself rather than force my mind to for a grade. Then I also can only write seeing how others put their thoughts into words, how they give out their own feelings through these weird mixings of letters. Like this whole ass post for example (lol), I write when I care about what I'm trying to say and getting it out to others from my weird brain.

For any kind of art, the thing that stands out is love and passion. There are so many ways to show and do it, no matter what anyone says, but if you love the art, I trust you'll be fine. Furthermore, live a little! Use your life in what you create, and if one thing doesn't work out, switch gears and keep on running! I doubted my photos many times, and I still do way too much, but whenever that happens, I just keep living until I see a flower that is too good to miss, and then I am back on the horse by leaning down with my camera ready. Is it being stubborn? Oh absolutely, but is it how I got this far? Yes, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Lastly, your portrait photo definition is a tad bit off. Though I like the spirit, and it is absolutely right. Just remember it has two definitions rather than only one, but don't worry. All you need to do for the second one is change that 'you' to a 'me', beacuse acting as if you aren't beautiful is lying to the world.

[webwingalpha]

-screams-

I actually was working on my adopt I mentioned and my desktop decided to randomly restart in the middle of it.

I’m just going to thank Medibang for backup saving because I would have lost most if not all of it.

[k-s-morgan]

People are too stuck on S1 Will and the whole 'Hannibal manipulated him' thing to really give anything in the show after that much thought; that's why you get such shallow interpretations of such a deep show. I hate to be rude but it doesn't seem like most people are 'smart-enough' for Hannibal which is kind of sad. Also people are lazy, they don't want to have to think too hard. Will especially requires thinking because he doesn't always say what he means.

I agree, the perception of many (mostly new) viewers is clouded by Will's portrayal in S1. And it's not necessarily because they aren't intelligent, it's just these days, few people actually sit down and watch something episode by episode with serious, unrelenting focus. Many just turn it on as the background; others treat it like pure entertainment and want to take a break from incessant critical thinking. Then there is advertising. 'Hannibal' has been critically acclaimed and it's loved by both critics and fans. It has excellent writing, acting, and concept, but the way it was marketed...

Misleading trailers and summaries played a role. Wherever I check how the show is presented on different sites, it's all about Will catching Hannibal. Very rarely, I see the mention of Will fighting his own demons, but it never goes beyond that. It means that a big part of people who choose to watch it already approach it from the wrong perceptive. They are also not the right audience in most cases - they want to see a good guys vs. bad guys show and get this instead. Look at the articles about the show - I don't recall any of them being 100% correct. At best, their writers understand Will and Hannibal are in love. But Will's darkness, the ending of the show, the main conflict - all of it goes over their heads.

Other people start it after the books or movies, and they expect to see the same characters and plots. Most are bound to be disappointed. This show is extremely complex, it's difficult to understand everything about it until you re-watch it; you can't miss one episode and understand the next one properly; if you miss or misunderstand even one conversation, you might end up confused and lost in character motivation. The language is flowery, the art is heavily symbolic, the metaphors are everywhere. So a typical viewer wouldn't enjoy this show since they come in expecting a crime drama, not a blood-soaked gothic dark romance.

For comparison, watch one of the official trailers for S1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UAo81kI94g. Boring and doesn't disclose the crucial aspects of the story. Then watch this fan-trailer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDTzn8y-5kM&t=4s. Much more powerful: reflects dark art, beautiful symbolism, Will's darkness, Hannibal's attempts to draw it out, etc. The audience drawn by the second trailer wouldn't be interested in the first one and vice versa.

The most common misconceptions I see are about Hannibal treating Will like a toy in S1, Will having no inherent darkness and no agency. In reality, when Hannibal meets Will, he senses darkness in him right away. He devises a test by provoking Hobbs into violence, observing what Will is about to do. Will kills him and then admits he loved doing it - this proves he had darkness before that. It scares him, but when Hannibal shows acceptance, Will keeps coming back to him. He then sees himself as inherently evil in E5 of S1, saying that he has so much darkness that it can't be fully extracted from him. Hannibal doesn't manipulate Will's responses - at best, he creates situations. Will is the one who chooses to try and shoot Ingram, who beats Randall up until he's incapacitated, snaps his neck, mutilates and eats him, and confesses he loved it, who chooses Hannibal's side and over again, who toys with innocent lives in S3 and gets innocent people harmed and killed without showing any regret, who admits murder is beautiful. Will is a monster who Hannibal helped Become.

Hannibal did it with Margot, Bedelia, and Randall before. He senses darkness in people and encourages them to accept it. He never tries making them into something they aren't - he encourages Margot to kill Mason because she's capable of it, but he doesn't push her to kill others because that's not what she is. He helped Randall come to terms with his animal self. He sent a vulnerable person to Bedelia since this is her MO. He always sent killers to Will as victims because he knows Will prefers bad people.

Will even says, "I've never known myself as well as I know myself when I'm with him." This says it all. The reason why he's drawn to Hannibal is because Hannibal is the only person to understand him.

[zodiacrant]

🍩My experiences with each Moon sign🍩

(Cause yall are messy)

I have done this a few times before but for Sun signs and did rank placements but never shared my thoughts and experiences with the Moon signs.

Now I know how this goes, so if you get mad or sad then go off I guess. Aint the first time I get cursed out or attacked in this bitch. Plus, I am a Cap moon so naturally I won’t do well with some Moons and I will be nitpicking everything about everyone.

🍩Aries Moon🍩

My dad’s moon. Yup, that tells you alot without me even starting. Having our Moons in Square shit was hard to say the least. It took a long time for us to be on middle grounds and because I don’t feel comfortable talking about my problems here I will continue on. The Aries Moon that I really like and can think of is Rihanna, so I would say it’s unfair to make a whole judgment but from what I saw and heard they’re not exactly the best to be around. So I give them a 3/10 for being bold and having nerve.

🍩Taurus Moon🍩

Now this Moon right here I know people from ( a close friend and my sister, plus some others) and I don’t have many strong opinions about it. As a Taurus Sun, it can be a challenge to work with a Taurus Moon. I am stubborn at my core and they’re stubborn with their heart, so everytime we disagree it’s like a rope pulling contest. Way too stagnant for me but I think that’s because of my other placements and they don’t take any advice or open up no matter what. On to the good, I never disliked someone with this placement. No matter how much of an asshole they can be, to me it is difficult to hate them or stay mad at them. They’re warm, kind, and sweet but a bit aloof and naive, also they don’t like to touch and hug as some people might think. I will give them a 8/10

🍩Gemini Moon🍩

(⚠️TW⚠️ mention of rape and erratic behavior)

I only had one best friend with this placement and I don’t I want to meet any more, and I am at peace with that if they resemble her in any way. She was a maniac. She loved to lie, create drama, blow shit up, act crazy and basically be shocking. I do find similarities with Gemini Sun where they do shit for reactions but with her, she will take it to the next level. Lie about being raped, act possessed, or pretend that she is being followed. It’s not fair to associate her with people who share the same Moon as her but that was y’all’s representation in my life. She was erratic so it’s difficult to see where her Moon was in effect and where she was just off. I’ll give them a 1/10, would not recommend until proven otherwise.

🍩Cancer Moon🍩

The first that comes to my mind is Taylor Swift and to me she is the ultimate Cancer Moon. It juat makes sense how fast she takes it to the next level with people. Whether getting serious quickly with someone or throwing down and feuding. She just always at a 100. Personally, I never got close with someone who has this placement, maybe it’s because I am a Capricorn Moon myself, but I would say the ones that I have met were nice. I’ll give them a 5/10

🍩Leo Moon🍩

I only had one best friend with this placement but the people I have met with this Moon I still remember. They all had one thing in common and that was being emotionally traumatized and have lost one parent. My best friend was super loyal, very confident in what they believed in and represented, were always there for me and had an amazing ability in motivating others. But they were also super prideful and there’s no coming back with them. Fight once and it’s over. (Yes I am looking at you Jonnie). One of the other people was with me in uni and always had the to urge won up me and my friend. He had scars all over and he doesn’t remember how he got them. But he was super proud of himself and his home country, which I respect and admire. I’ll give them a 6/10

🍩Virgo Moon🍩

I know two people with this placement, my mom and a professor at uni, and oh boy it makes sense that they’re a Virgo Moon. Me and my mom are too alike that we clash strongly at times. She thinks she can do it better and I think I can do it better and we just have like a competition on who done it better basically. From cooking, to how you light the stove, to how you put on clothes, to how you lay down on bed. Both my mom and my professor are super critical and precise, althogh my professor is a double Virgo (Sun and Moon) so she will go even further. They have to do everything as it arises and act like there’s no time and everything is about to go wrong. Like damn sis chill the fuck out for a sec and this is coming from a Cap moon so you know it’s bad. But I really like Virgo Moon, even though people might hate such a personality but I can relate to them in some ways. I’ll give them 7/10

🍩Libra Moon🍩

My only online friend that I talk to all the time got this Moon. Other than her I met only two people and they were something. Okay so for my friend, because I never actually have seen her physically with my own eyes I can’t say how she acts all the time, but she is one of the best listeners I had in my life. She likes to hear me ramble for an hour about a dumb encounter that lasted a second, talking about astrology and some nerdy things and then not so nerdy things. I believe that it’s a Libra Moon quality to be emotionally versatile and attentive. I think because she is a Leo dominant she acts much fiery and fiercely than a Libra would. As for the other people I just thought they were fake. One acted as a friend but then would just disappear so I was over it quickly and the other was super passive and pretentious that I think she shits out plastic. All in all I think it’s a great Moon. I’ll give them a 7/10

🍩Scorpio Moon🍩

One of the hardest Moons I ever delt with but I find that I love them too. My oldest sister had this Moon and she is such a mystery. Because I am a Taurus Sun, it is only natural for me to have a hard time with a Scorpio Moon. Even though she is an extrovert, she rarely talks about herself and her feelings, you will never catch her slipping or show vulnerability. I can see how difficult it may be for her being a Cancer with a Scorpio Moon and have Gemini dominance. But she’s a bitch at heart and I am cool with it. I’ll give them 5/10 cause I am not a big fan of paradoxical people

🍩Sagittarius Moon🍩

A moon that I always babysat. I had two best friends with this Moon and if I was born a second earlier, it would mine too. I don’t know if it’s because of my Gemini Venus or my 0 degree Capricorn Moon but I love Sagittarius Moons. I was fortunate to see some of their weaknesses and for them to trust me enough to be vulnerable. But boy do they get themselves into the dumbest situation because they wanted to see what would happen. I had to babysit them and help them do everything like shopping, cooking, cleaning, assembling furniture, be their body guard when buying weed. (Shhhh it’s a secret). They’re in many ways immature cause they run from things and everytime you try to be real with them, they say “stop being negative”. I’ll give them a 9/10

🍩Capricorn Moon🍩

The grande dame of the Moon signs, sitting at it’s opposite planet. I have met many Cap Moons and honestly we are bitches 😂. The energy of sitting next to a Capricorn Moon is too fucking much like I never knew it’s like that. I noticed the way they stare, talk, walk and sit can be so aggressive and intimidating. I see why people might label us as bullies, cause the energy is definitely there and I myself was such a cunt (still a little but I am more aware of myself now) that I get where both are coming from. Life as a Capricorn Moon is emotionally flat. If wasn’t for my other placements you will never see me even flinch. I think we just take everything and let it process in our head before we let it into our hearts. So to me, we’re not mean, we just don’t see how something might be hurtful. But also that tone and that blank face, goddam! That’s why I try to smile cause bitch no, I didn’t know I was walking with a death stare this whole time. Anyways, I will give us 10/10 cause I am self appreciative like that 😂✌️

🍩Aquarius Moon🍩

I have always tried to understand Aquarius Moon and it was only a month ago that I have realized they themselves are not sure of who they’re. I had one best friend with this placement and three cousins (all siblings). First, my cousins are super competitive with each other on who gets to do what and if it happens that they’re similar in something they will get pissed. The person that was my best friend was like that as well. Only he would drop a an entire hobby, interest, something close to his heart, shit even a personality trait. I find them to be constantly changing and trying, so they shift between one end of extreme to the other until they center themselves. I’ll give them a 4/10

🍩Pisces Moon🍩

Now let’s talk about a depressing placement, in my opinion of course 😅. I don’t know if it’s the influence of Neptune on the Moon or is it the just the demeanor of Pisces, but good god girl get a grip (they call this the five G’s). My youngest sister is a Pisces Moon, and as creative as she is, she is pessimistic and overly cynical. I mean I am all for being critical and real but looking at everything with jacked up black sprayed glasses is just too much for me. Other than my sister I don’t know any Pisces Moon very well but I had a few acquaintances. I noticed that they talked about a specific thing and that’s it. I have found them to be amazing at drawing, painting and have an incredible artistic sense. At times twisted and dark, but I love the art that comes with it. I’ll give them a 5/10

Here’s the tea. It’s Pisces season so remember I am sensitive right now, and also it’s my life and I wish I met someone as amazing as you might think you’re. (Maybe that was a little too aggressive)

Okay love you ❤️