#I realize that I haven’t been doing any of those things myself

[astronomodome]

recent twitter discourse under the cut bc I hate everything good in the world and love making myself suffer

It just frustrates me so much to see Doc and others hounded so much on twitter for not speaking out about the genocide in Palestine. Of course I have to preface this discussion with saying that yes it is terrible and it’s morally correct to speak out about it and offer resources. However (and I mostly see this on twitter) a lot of the pressure being put on ccs to post about it is not only performative but in fact harmful to the ccs’ wellbeing AND to the cause it’s meant to support.

All the tweets I’ve seen about getting the ccs to post about this issue sort of have this air of moral superiority to them despite coming from a place of genuine concern (I assume), like these youtubers have some moral obligation to do stuff for their fans. Serious world issue aside I think this comes from a very parasocial place, this idea that ccs owe their fans whatever the fans want to ask of them. They’re not your friends. They have thoughts and opinions that you don’t see and they have the right to develop their thoughts themselves just like any other person. So much of this demanding stuff dips into harassment territory and it’s just so disappointing to see.

The worst part, to me, is that the statements that ARE given at that point are meaningless too because they come not from a place of genuine thought and emotion about the issue but because a bunch of twitter users demanded them to talk about it. Maybe they would be able to make a statement more meaningful and helpful than just ‘hey look at these three links’ if they were given the grace everyone else is given to study the issue and speak out if it means a lot to them.

The ccs don’t owe you anything. Get over yourselves. Do what you can to support Palestinian voices, donate, signal boost on your own platform and stop pretending it’s some huge moral failure that a minecraft youtuber won’t tweet what you want them to.

[kosagum]

you and nanami are cuddling on your shared bed when he reaches over to kiss your forehead. you smile at the gesture. he then moves down to both of your cheeks and your chin, back up to your nose, and finally gives you the most tender kiss on your lips.

nanami is the first to break away, taking a moment to look you in your eyes, smile to himself, and go in for another, more slow and sensual kiss.

both you and nanami shift so he is directly above you, lowering his body on top of yours. his hands wander, carefully squeezing anything he can feel. wanting to go further, he hesitantly stops himself, hovering above your lips and looking you in the eyes.

“are you comfortable going further?” he cups his hand around your cheek, patiently waiting for your response.

you and nanami haven’t gone further than making out before. while there have been many opportunities, you’ve always shied away from it. it’s not like you haven’t wanted to have sex with the man, but your thoughts always stand in the way, constantly making you feel physically inadequate even though nanami always makes you feel like the most beautiful person in the world.

you begin to feel your body stiffen and your face heat up as you realize what he asked you. you do want to continue, but what if he ends up not liking what he sees? what if it ruins what you have?

“i— i do want to,” you whisper. “i just…”

noticing your discomfort, nanami pulls himself off of you and sits up. he then reaches for you and pulls you on his lap, enveloping you in his arms and beginning to rock you back and forth. normally you’d be at ease with this, but you stiffen, feeling like a bother instead.

“if you don’t feel comfortable, we can always do something else. i really don’t mind,” he explains, kissing your cheek.

you frown at this, feeling helpless. you’ve tried to dismiss this feeling, but it always finds a way back. you haven’t brought it up to nanami yet, not knowing how he’d react. you know he wouldn’t shame you, but the last thing you want is his pity.

“it’s not that i don’t want to, kento. i’ve actually wanted to do it a bunch of times. it’s just…” you trail. “i’m worried…you’re not gonna like what you see.”

nanami pauses at this. “love—”

“listen, i’ve gathered a lot of scars, bumps, bruises, whatever from living and stuff. and yeah, i understand that it’s normal and i shouldn’t feel embarrassed or insecure, but it’s really hard not to.”

you slide yourself off of nanami’s lap, looking down. nanami feels his heart break. he extends his hand to you, but you only look at it.

“i do try to take good care of myself, but there are some things that stick with you for life. i just don’t want to embarrass myself,” you mumble. “and i really don’t want you to not like what you see.”

you turn away from nanami, tears threatening to form. you fiddle around with your hands for relief until nanami turns your body toward his and leans his forehead against yours. he looks at you with soft eyes checking if any tears slipped out, hands caressing your face with delicacy. he kisses your forehead and sighs.

“i didn’t know you felt this way. i’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this,” nanami admits. “but i must say, there is nothing you can show me of you that i won’t like. i love you because you’re you, not because of your looks alone.”

your eyes still avoiding his, you put your hands on his chest. you try to look up at him, but cower once you meet his gaze. nanami’s hand reaches down and gently lifts your face. his thumb brushes your cheek, and he looks at you with reverence.

“you are the most beautiful person in the world in so many different ways. i would never be disappointed in you for not having a ‘spotless’ body. those don’t even exist,” nanami affirms.

you feel your heart start to bloom. you look up and flash him a small smile, still feeling unsure of yourself.

nanami leans forward giving you another peck on your forehead, “i’d rather see the you that’s lived life and has gathered so many experiences that some even decided to live with you. god, you are the most important thing to me and i’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this alone.”

you think about his words for a moment and feel a smile start to creep in, hiding your face in his neck and hugging him tightly.

“thank you ken,” you kiss his cheek. “i love you.”

nanami tightly hugs you back. he doesn’t want to let go, but he tries to fight his urge to stay like this forever. he loses, still holding onto you.

“i love you too.”

you take a moment to figure out what you want to do next. moving away from his neck and studying his face, you give him the biggest smile, trying to take in as much of him as possible. staring back at you are rosy cheeks, half-lidded eyes, and a wholehearted smile.

you close the gap between the two of you with a peck. then you go in for another kiss, drawing it out, and feel your body melting into his. finding a rhythm, your hands snake up and grab his hair. with the pace picking up, they travel down to roam his body.

nanami grins and mirrors you. eventually, one of his hands finds yours and interlaces your fingers together.

nanami lays you back down on the bed, hovering over you once again while kissing you with the same intensity.

he stops for a moment and looks at you with love. before he can say anything, you interject.

“i’m okay, ken,” you whisper. “let’s do it.”

[kalinysu]

Muzan with wife reader who failed a mission and is trying to avoid him after he yelled at her? extra fluff pls

𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘. - Muzan x F!Reader

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: None/Small angst. (?)

𝐍𝗼𝐭𝐞𝐬: LAST thing i’ll write Muzan for a while. 😭

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You had been avoiding Muzan for days. At first, he didn’t take the time to realize as he had been far too busy with other things to pay your obvious distancing any mind. He also never thought of you being upset with him for something that he did so often. Yelling? He’s yelled at practically everyone.

But you, you were his wife. That was the first time he had yelled at you, and you thought that he would treat you differently because you were his wife. But he yelled and got really angry with you, just like every other demon. It hurt you, more than he realized. And the fact that the two of you hadn’t talked in days and he didn’t notice, or rather didn’t care that something was up hurt even more.

You had been cooped up in your room for a while, and nobody had ever checked up on you or anything at all, not even your own husband.

Not that you expected it, everyone had been busy with the demon slayers and such. But still, he was your husband, and he had to have even a little free time at some point. You were sulking in bed, losing track of time, until finally, someone had opened your door.

“Get up, do something productive, like finding me that flower.”

Your husbands deep voice rang out as he rummaged through your drawing and took something before leaving without another word. The fact that he was now telling you only to find the flower stung. He most likely thought you were incapable of doing anything else.

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Days had gone by now, you had nothing, and it seemed Muzan was only growing more and more irritated as time went by. You had lost all hope of him ever coming to see you for even a split second of affection.

You were outside, somewhere. An unknown location, simply sitting on a hill in the moonlight. The flowers were pretty, but you couldn’t take the time to admire them. You were far too lost in your thoughts. You didn’t care for the flowers if they weren’t the one Muzan wanted.

Suddenly, you noticed someone sit down beside you.

Your husband.

Neither of you spoke, even though you really wanted to. It wasn’t an awkward silence, the two of you just knew it wasn’t the right time to talk. Well, you knew. Muzan didn’t talk because he didn’t want to or feel like it. He’s always been like that. He rarely showed affection through his words, but you didn’t mind to much, especially not anymore. You had grown used to the small gestures of affection from a while ago, but now you were convinced they had stopped.

“.. My lord if.. If i’ve done something to offend you—“ You started, not looking at him as you spoke.

“You’ve been distant.”

You looked up at him. He wasn’t looking at you, not avoiding, but simply looking across the hills. “You haven’t spoke to me in so long.. You have only uttered few words but those were orders, and weren’t frequent either.” You said, hugging your knees.

“Am I supposed to come to you? What happened to you coming to me?”

Your husband said. It sounded cold, but you knew that wasn’t his intention. You usually always came to him, showing affection and in return receiving affection back. He was right, you never went to him anymore. But..

“It seems you’ve been mad at me..”

“I was mad, but that’s no reason not to come to me. I’ve been irritable lately with all these nuisances.”

“But if your irritated.. you don’t have to take your anger out o..” You trailed off, going silent before you could even finish your sentence as you noticed him glaring at you. Looking away uncomfortably you mumbled slightly. “..Nevermind— I.. It’s fine but—“

“Sorry.”

You blinked a few times, wondering if you were hearing things. You looked back at him. “Hu—“

“I don’t like repeating myself.”

You went quiet.

“Your supposed to say you forgive me.”

“Right!!— I forgive you.” You said, still a little shocked he had actually apologized. You’d never heard that word come out of his mouth before, unless he was mocking someone but that was different.

“—‘My lord’?”

“—My lord.” You added, a small smile playing on your lips at the reminder. You leaned against his shoulder slightly, and in return, he placed a hand on your waist.

“Don’t avoid me like that again.”

His hand came up to your shoulder, pulling you closer to him, before he leaned down and placed a kiss on your head. When was the last time you had kissed him. You looked up at him.

“No.”

“No? No to what?” You said, with a fake innocence, before quickly giving him a peck on the lips before he could speak.

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[lvrcpid]

disciples.

your eyes fluttered open as the sun peered through the entrance of the mauri. your body ached in all different spots, the feeling almost dreadful.

“you’re awake, how are you feeling?” a voice called from behind you. it was tonowari. wasn’t he the olo’eyktan? why was he here with you?

noticing your confusion, the metkayina man smiled down at you and lifted you up slowly, minding your head in his hold.

“my wife and daughter went out to gather more herbs for your medicine, i offered to watch you until you woke up.” a small smile spread across your face as your looked up at him “thank you..” you spoke softly as he stood up and gave you a curt nod.

“here child, you need to eat” he brought over a bowl of soup for you. you took the bowl and set it down, your appetite not really setting in just yet. tonowari noticed this and sat down in front of you, taking your hands into yours.

“what’s on your mind child? you seem troubled” you hesitated for a while, you didn’t know if to trust him or not. you haven’t had a stable male figure for basically your entire life, you didn’t know how to open up to anyone.

“well i uh..” you stopped yourself, catching your breath before sighing. you had only met tonowari a few times, and those times were genuinely horrifying, he was a big scary man, you didn’t know he could be this kind hearted.

“well it’s my family..” you started, staring down at the bowl , refraining from eye contact. “i was under there for 4 days before they realized i was gone..they probably would’ve gone longer if we’re being honest” you began to choke up. the thought of their betrayal running circles in your mind.

“it’s been like that my whole life..when neteyam was born it was fine for a while, of course he was a baby he needed more attention .. then came lo’ak..then kiri..” you sighed and looked up at him, his eyes softened as he listened to your troubles, the man took pity on you. you were just a child. no child should go through this

“my parents were more worried about them..my brother was to train to be the next olo’eyktan and kiri to be tsakarem..my parents didn’t believe that i was good enough to do any of the important stuff, they wanted me to stay the hunter of the family..so they gave them all of the attention.”

you pulled a small beaded string from your hair and showed it to the man in front of you. “the last time something was added to my songcord was when i was 3, i had to add things myself..like when i completed my right of passage..alone..or when i caught my first fish..alone” you sighed, reminiscing over your childhood, how blank and bleak it seemed.

tonowari listened to it all. all of your troubles, all of your struggles. he was fuming. you were such a beautiful soul, so innocent and curious, how could your own family treat you like this.

you both didn’t notice ronal and tsireya return. the pair both shared a pitiful glance before carefully sitting at your side. ao’nung was standing there the entire time, he hadn’t left for the morning just yet. at first he didn’t like you, you were some forest freak who came intruding on their land, but after hearing your life story, the male felt for you, he felt bad for you.

he sat next to tsireya as they all began comforting you. the feeling was uncomfortable to say the least, but you weirdly felt safe with them, like that lonely void was being filled little by little.

after the conversation, ao’nung came and sat next to you, offering his hand “i know my mom said you shouldn’t leave just yet..but you need some fresh air, i know it can get stuffy in here sometimes”

you hesitated. didn’t he JUST try to fight you not even last week, now he’s being a sweetheart? you thought for a minute, hesitantly taking his hand as he raised you up, walking with you outside.

“hey uh..im sorry about last week and..your entire family, nobody deserves that..even if you are a forest freak” he smiled at you. you rolled your eyes at his last comment but smiled anyways, appreciating the apology.

“hey nung!- woah (y/n)?! where have you been?!” you turned your head to see neteyams friend rotxo, he had been there the day you all had arrived to awa’atlu.

“you know..died..came back to life you know, the regular” you joked. “come on not funny (y/n)” he said. your face went serious “oh no im not joking see?” you pointed to your chest and he almost fainted. “man you’re such a wimp” ao’nung laughed and pushed his friend back up on his feet.

soon eclipse fell onto awa’atlu, the sounds of the ocean waves and forest critters filled the air. you were back in tsahìk mauri with ronal checking up on you.

“you know you don’t have to go back home..you’re more than welcome to stay here with us” ronal spoke, breaking the silence.

“no im okay..i don’t wanna intrude into your family” you spoke, your bones still sore. “nonsense child..it is clear your family has..forsaken you..” ronal trailed off, attempting to be careful with her words. “you are only a child..you need a place to stay..now im not asking..i am telling..” she finished, standing up and looking down at you.

“ao’nung and tonowari will retrieve your things tomorrow..from now on you are staying with us..as a family..i need to keep an eye on you child..” she bent back down and cupped her 4 fingered hand on your cheek.

you felt her warm hands turn into an embrace. you weren’t sure if it was because she was the tsahìk or what but her embrace felt motherly, something you hadn’t experienced. she smelled of flowers and the ocean. a welcoming smell. you held back tears as you softly returned the embrace, mumbling out a quick thank you before breaking the hug. you didn’t want to go back home, you didn’t want to be with that family anymore.

they have the other kids, they’ll be fine without me. i’m pretty sure they don’t even care

when tsireya and aonung heard the news , they were over joyed! ao’nung was finally glad to not be the oldest anymore and he seemingly enjoyed your presence after the day. tsireya was over the moon, she finally had someone who she felt comfortable enough around to tell anything. ronal and tonowari were just as happy, your smiling face after seeing your tearful expression with your family made them happy. they silently promised to eachother they were going to give you the best life you could have.

you finally had a family. a place you were accepted and loved. no matter the conditions.

when news broke to the sullys, they were truly distraught. you felt bad as you stood in their mauri, head hung low as tonowari stood tall behind you.

“you can’t just take our child!” neytiri yelled, walking towards you and attempting to pull you into her embrace. you shook her off and sighed “they aren’t taking me mom..i’m going willingly” the family fell silent.

jake furrowed his eyebrows before moving to a now sobbing neytiri as she attempted to open her arms to you. you moved back harshly as you turned away from her.

“(y/n) you can’t just leave! we’re your family!” lo’ak shouted, stomping up to you and grabbing your hand. you quickly shoved him away and hissed at him. lo’aks face dropped. you never hissed at him before.

“(y/n) come on just think this through..we’re sorry okay? just don’t leave..we need you..” neteyam slid over to your slowly, refraining from touching you seeing as though that was the last thing you needed.

“neteyam stop-“ you felt a body attach itself to your leg. you looked down and began tearing up. it was tuk. she was sobbing. “(y/n) please don’t go! i’ll be good i’m sorry just please don’t go!!” she clung to you like glue.

kiri couldn’t stand to look at you, knowing she would cry at the scene.

lo’ak was now stomping over to his dad and looking back at neteyam “dad do something!!” his voice cracked , almost crying.

jake looked at you with pleading eyes, almost saying “please don’t do this to us”. you stared down at tuk, tears glossing your eyes as you softly moved tuk from your leg and stormed out of the mauri, mumbling a quick “im sorry” under your breath.

ao’nung walked inside and gave his father a look before beginning to grab your things , jake having to hold neytiri back as ao’nung began to grab your things and move them out.

“dude come on..mom! dad! do something!!” lo’ak was now sobbing as he attempted to plead with his parents. but there was nothing anyone could do, you were gone, out of their grasp.

ronal was outside of the mauri and had heard everything, taking your now sobbing figure into her embrace, rubbing your back as you sobbed into her shoulder. she felt bad for you. she knew you wanted to leave, but knew it would pain you to do so.

neteyam had been crying before a wave of anger washed over him. they were your family, how could you just up and leave them like that.

he pushed past ao’nung before storming to where you and ronal were, yelling out “we’re your family!! sullys stick together remember!! this is selfish!!” he yelled purely from anger and hurt.

his words trigged something in you. selfish. you? selfish.

your sobbing began to die down as you turned to neteyam, storming up to him and grabbing his braids, tossing him back into the mauri.

“you wanna talk family? let’s talk family shall we?”

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tags 🏷️ : @23victoria @avtprint @bucky12345 @boilingpots @Marcswife21 @elegantkidfansoul @itsyogurl @stars4deku @stvpidscvpid @uniltsatirey @urdeadpoet @annamarieisbae @graysonmalik2550 @blueberryfailureclinic @jordan-network @newjeansbonnie @stickyfictioninwriting @fanboyluvr @zatarias-pandora @jjkclub @elvyshiarieko @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @adaiasafira @scarletrosesposts @spicycloudsalad @vane28282 @nuttyrebelflower

[venusvxen]

The 3D Cannot Create.. So Why Do You Create Fear?

I’ve been having a recent epiphany that has helped me understand the law better and helped me get rid of fear or at least self soothe when i feel fearful cus I don’t believe in stripping ourselves of our emotions…

I would say “the 3d cannot create” everyday for a YEAR but it wasn’t until a few days ago when i had a lightbulb moment… the 3D… really … cannot create.. it’s nothing more than a mirror… so why do I FEAR my shadow and expect it to show me something different.. why do i fool myself into believing i am the shadow and not the being that casts the shadow??

We fulfill ourselves within our imagination and get so stoked about our desire.. then we leave imagination and come down to the 3d world and bombarded with all the things the senses throw at you. now you start doubting.. you start counting down the time bc it’s been xyz long and you think it’ll never happen.. I literally always do this…

But then i thought to myself… the 3d cannot create any of those scenarios im envisioning… it’s my twin.. it is a shadow.. whatever I experience in the 4d is what i MUST experience in the 3d no matter what because self MUST be expressed

I’ll literally get so confident then expect the 3d to show me otherwise and be fearful and start asking myself what if it doesn’t happen and but if there is no separation between the 3d n 4d and all is imagination…. why would you NOT get it? … seriously… because the only way all those negative scenarios would happen is through persisting in them… it’s all imagination at the end of the day..

the relationship between the 3d and 4d is a simple input and output it’s just us who overcomplicate it because of all the baggage we’ve assigned to the law and all the things we’ve internalized about what we can or cannot do. if you assume something in imagination it MUST come to pass. just like if you go up you must come down. it’s a 1+1=2 situation and yet i complicate it so much…

but at the end of the day.. the materialization is guaranteed … because self must be expressed.. self is the only thing being expressed in this world bc the 3d cannot create..

after having this epiphany i’ve been able to self soothe and talk myself out of fear by reminding myself of this.. the 3d is my dutiful shadow. it follows in my footsteps.. whatever i experience in my real reality i must experience in the physical no matter what. I don’t care if it’s the day before an event and the pieces haven’t fell into place yet.. it MUST happen.. but only if you have confidence in this.. because I’ve noticed wavering is why we have wonky results..

but why do we waver?

We waver because deep down we think there is a separation between the imaginal and the physical. we think the physical is acting on its own outside of us and can create. which is why try as we might to maintain a state of confidence.. for the “big” things or the things that seem “out of reach”,, results may be spotty because we think our imaginal experiences aren’t enough and we convince ourselves that any of the things happening on the outside are out for our control

the truth is all that’s missing is confidence… a knowing.. an unshakeable conviction that what we say will happen MUST happen and WILL happen.. but the only way to do this is to truly understand that the 3d is your reflection and it can’t possibly show you anything you haven’t experienced…

I personally am now so so so excited for the end of the year and am looking forward to school (something i DREADED).. because i know a specific event MUST take place now which will change my life. why? because the real me experienced it in imagination and self must be expressed. why would my 3d show me something different unless i continuously waver and imagine something different.. if i experienced it why wouldn’t it push out? this realization has helped me be excited about things i was previously anxious about

i feel like the thing w the law is how “simple” it is but it’ll take you years to understand a simple concept. i hope you guys get what i’m saying here

[thebandghostofficial]

[MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

An important (and overwinded) announcement regarding this blog below the cut.

Hello everyone! This is Rawkin Ghoul/ Tumblr Ghoul/ Tumblrina/ Soda/ etc etc.

First thing’s first: no, this blog is not an official Ghost social media account.

I started this blog in late 2022 when ghost-official started blowing up (I do not believe this one to be real either, and honestly I won’t believe they have a Tumblr until it is linked on their official website) and thought, “wow, I could make a better Ghost blog than that. One that’s way better organized and actually advertises properly for them, and posts regularly!” So I did.

Originally it was meant as just that, a little joke between some friends, and wasn’t meant to really get farther than that. But then I thought, Ghost does have a lot of fans on Tumblr- a lot of exquisitely talented and devoted fans. Maybe I can kinda “roleplay” it for a while, build almost a bit of a portfolio, and then either offer the blog to management or offer to run it for them officially, for fun, if they were interested.

More time passes and more people followed. I thought “xofficial” as a username was a common enough joke/ gimmick that people would realize it wasn’t for real (and in fact, when I first searched the URL, I found that this username was once in use years ago! Sorry, previous owner), especially after posting that April Fools joke post- this was wrong of me to assume. There are a lot of roleplay/ joke “official” Ghost accounts all over the web but I failed to really properly disclaim that I was one of them.

I of course don’t plan to reach out to Ghost anymore and haven’t for some time, for multiple reasons including Tumblr just not being a good website for advertising. But another one is I got pretty loose on here. Tumblr is so different from Twitter and Insta and all that- you guys (and myself! I go here too) don’t want to have someone sell something to you- but you do love interaction and jokes and solving things together.

I think we can all admit it- when Ghost is dormant, the fans can get bored and even agitated, and can start to have a go at eachother. I’m certainly not guiltless there either. I wouldn’t say I’m notorious or even particularly well known in general but I’ve gotten into drama here and there. I figured the blog would be a fun way not just to distract the community, but really engage with it. The blog passed 5k a month or so ago and I started thinking, we could do something really cool with it. Smaller events like fanart contests and zines. But what if we did more? Organizing pre-ritual meetups. Larger community projects like fan-made music videos. ARG. Maybe even a short video game- there are so many incredibly skilled and hard-working Ghost fans and I wanted to try to bring them together because I think our love for Ghost, for whatever reason we love them, screams so loud and everyone deserves recognition (also a reason I started Fanart Friday as a regular thing).

You guys know I do my best to keep up with your tagging and what you’re saying and everything and I’ve seen the people pointing out the blog isn’t real from the beginning- I didn’t want to address it directly at first because I thought if nothing else people enjoyed the mystery.

But, more lately there’s been more and more people who are agitated, disappointed, and even a little scared to hear that this blog is not official.

I want to offer my very sincere apologies to people who I made feel that way. I should have made it obvious sooner- I know so well that there are a lot of very young Ghost fans especially who wouldn’t necessarily surmise that this isn’t real. I’m really sorry to those of you I disappointed.

I will never ask you for money here, or any personal information, or send asks anonymous or otherwise from here or my main personal blog as “Tumblr Ghoul”. I have had one person ask to message me so I messaged them to allow them to do that. If somebody contacts you claiming to be the person running this blog, they are lying. Please block them. My interactions here I aim to keep as public as possible, hence being increasingly liberal with replies and reblogs as the number of people interacting grew.

My only goal with this blog is to advertise for a band that I love and to entertain/ help the fandom when and where I can. I love and appreciate all the fanart and interest in the character of Tumblr Ghoul but I don’t want anybody to feel obligated to me and I especially don’t want to hurt anybody. I started this blog for fun and that how I want it to remain- fun for everyone.

People pointed out when I didn’t post for some time a few months back and it was because I had lost interest in the blog and was going through a rough time- and then one particularly bad day I got on to check it by chance and just seeing your guy’s tags and comments made me feel so much better. I tell people that I found Ghost when I really needed a friend and they fulfilled that for me, but the past few months you guys have done just the same for me. I am so sorry to have betrayed that and made you feel unsafe and lied to in return.

As of posting I do intend to still run the blog as I have been (with a disclaimer added to the bio regarding the legitimacy of this account)- posting about tours, chapters, merch, etc, as well as Fanart Friday. I 100% understand if anybody doesn’t want to be involved in that, so anybody who has tagged me in something and don’t want it on the blog now, I can open messages and you can let me know. I will probably close them again after a week or so if I get a large flood of unrelated messages.

Please do not message me asking me who I am, who knows about the blog, etc. Gaining popularity was never something I wanted from this so I will stay anonymous, for the time being at the very least. A very small number of people know who is behind the blog and to my knowledge only one of them is even on Tumblr and in the fandom.

Thank you for all the support you’ve shown me, Ghost, and eachother. It can be easy to see the bad parts of a community and roll your eyes electing to keep your distance, but since starting this blog I’ve been reminded what good community is even when it’s frustrating sometimes.

Thank you for reading, I won’t hold it against anybody who wants to separate themselves from this blog at this point, and please don’t let my oversight and general dummyness sour your experience with Ghost or its other fans. Enjoy the rest of this tour and whether it’s with or without me, please keep rawking 🤘 Be good to eachother.

Thank you.

[howdoyouwhiskit]

*deep breath* so I’ve been meaning to make a big post about House re:mobility aids and chronic pain treatment for a LONG time so here we go this is gonna be a long ride that probably won’t make a lot of sense in regards to a linear narrative so buckle up motherfuckers

Disclaimer: I am disabled, have chronic pain, and am an ambulatory mobility aid user. I have experience using a cane, forearm crutches, a rollator, and a walker. I understand everyone’s experiences are different. I am writing this from my personal experience with mobility aids which may influence some interpretations of things

Let’s start with the obvious one, House uses his cane wrong. They recognize this in canon. It isn’t simply a case of “oh the show writers were lazy and it’s never mentioned.” What I haven’t seen people discuss is that using a cane the way House does (in my experience anyways) fucking hurts. It isn’t comfortable at all. It feels awkward and clunky and at least personally within a few minutes of using a cane in that fashion my *entire body* hurts. Plus, it doesn’t even really help take the pressure off of my leg pain.

Given the all of him there’s two conclusions that I’d like to make about this (and remember this isn’t canon, just simply my interpretation as a disabled person):

It’s very obvious that House has Feelings about mobility aids. Society can often make people think that using mobility aids is a weakness. Admitting something is wrong. House very clearly doesn’t like to do either of those things. I personally have incredibly complicated feelings about mobility aids that I can’t even begin to put into words. I see myself in House in this regard.

I can’t help but think that him using his cane incorrectly is some fucked up form of self punishment. It’s been brought up in canon that House has a tendency to self harm in various ways. I don’t think that people realizing that him using a cane incorrectly could be related. For those who are unfamiliar, using any mobility aid (even a cane) incorrectly can cause damage. I do not claim to be a doctor but I imagine that House would be dealing with back and shoulder issues at minimum from using his cane the way he does.

The next thought I have is something I think about a lot. It’s clear House’s pain fluctuates, as it does for a lot of chronic pain patients. What I don’t see a lot of people talking about is realistically he could fluctuate mobility aids with the fluctuations of his pain. Yes, I understand there are limitations within his career as a doctor, but this is House MD were talking about there isn’t exactly always exact medical realism is there? I just can’t help but wonder, what would House’s life look like, if he let himself use something other than a cane?

I know there’s an episode where House does use a wheelchair for access to an accessible parking space, and I really really wish they expanded upon this more in canon. Personally, I think House needing to be (but not necessarily acting on it) a part time ambulatory wheelchair user makes sense.

I’ve read some fic/headcanons about House needing a wheelchair (Berber it be due to an advancement in disability or as an acceptance of his current disability) yet everyone talks about him using a shitty hospital grade chair. He’s a doctor who probably has great insurance plus a lofty department head paycheck. If House were in a position to have a wheelchair, he could very very easily access a top of the line custom made chair.

I understand the representation of the standard hospital chair often comes from a place of ignorance about custom wheelchairs, I really do. I just think that the concept of using a hospital chair permanently can cloud the judgement of if it’s truly a “bad thing” or not. Hospital wheelchairs are fucking uncomfortable and not easy to use. A custom chair, when built right, is none of these things.

Just, I’d love more House fanwork that embraces the idea of mobility aids. No, I don’t mean make House randomly decide “oh I’m gonna accept help now” and make him OOC. No, I mean let’s actually dive into House’s feelings about mobility aids, create some fanworks where maybe he works through some of his internalized ableism and self hatred and lets himself be accommodated. I hate seeing fic after fic that makes it seem like it’s some tragedy that House needs crutches or a walker or wheelchair. I want it to be normalized. Disability can be progressive and that’s just life. Yes, it’s upsetting. Yes, it can be sad to those involved. No, it doesn’t mean the end of the world.

Now I think it’s time to talk in regards to the treatment of his chronic pain, outside of the way he accommodates his mobility. I think that, while this is probably related to the writers wanting to stick to the “addicted to Vicodin” plot line, House’s pain management in the series, sucks, to put it lightly. I’ve been to multiple pain management programs (both at formal PM clinics and informal PM done by other specialists) and any doctor worth their salt would have had him on some sort of nerve pain medication and probably some form of muscle relaxer from the very beginning. While, yes, one could argue that House is on these medications and it’s just not mentioned, I really really don’t think that’s the case. You could also argue that he may have been offered these things, and simply refused them. This could very well be the case. However, that doesn’t erase the fact that these things could be helpful.

When House is off Vicodin, they have him substantiating off of exclusively ibuprofen. I’ve had chronic pain bad enough to need opioids treated with high doses of ibuprofen and in my personal experience, it doesn’t do shit. It just upsets your stomach and risks kidney issues and doesn’t actually help with the pain. The fact that just because he deals with addiction he doesn’t get proper pain management is BONKERS to me.

I understand that they were, within the shows canon, attempting to claim that at least some of the pain was psychological. Just because someone’s pain is psychological doesn’t mean you do not treat it. There are plenty of ways to treat psychological pain. Again, one could argue that House simply refused. Again, I’d say that you might be right.

You notice that I say that House very realistically could’ve refused various treatments that could make his life better. Just like how it is with his cane, I believe this is an effort at self punishment. If these efforts at self punishment are conscious or not is genuinely up to you. I personally view it as unconscious, but again, as I said in the beginning, I’m interpreting this the way I see things.

Anyways, just needed to get my thoughts out there, as a crippled person who’s been obsessed with House since before they realized that their chronic pain wasn’t normal. Since before they realized that the word disabled was something that could be applied to them.

Feel free to reply to this with thoughts or questions and y'all are more than welcome to DM me to pick my brain about this!

[kaorisun]

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 immortality is an abundant curse (3)

pairing : blade x reader

tags : hurt no comfort, angst, canon divergence

word count : 4.88k

chapters : one • two • three

crossposted to : AO3

Summary : “Everything changed the day Imbibitor Lunae committed a grave sin in the eyes of the Xianzhou. Upon Ren, he bestowed the most abundant curse known to man.

“Immortality.”

or

The full story.

Yanqing wears his heart on his sleeve.

Given this fact, you truly should’ve figured that Jing Yuan would know exactly who had taken his diary upon discovering it missing.

However, this thought doesn’t cross your mind, so when Jing Yuan arrives at the clinic that night to search for his young apprentice, you’re terribly startled.

Yanqing, who’d been carefully showing you the fruits of his training inside the clinic, drops his sword with a clatter, gasping upon seeing the General appear at the door.

“It wasn’t me!” he yelps indignantly. Jing Yuan gives the boy an amused look.

“Oh? I haven’t even mentioned what I’m here for. How did you know I’d accuse you?” the General questions. Yanqing deflates, having exposed himself and his guilt without the man having to do so much as lift a finger. You reach out towards Yanqing, wanting to defend the boy from any potential ire or anger.

All things considered, he’d done it for your sake. You wouldn’t let him take the blame for such a kindhearted action.

Bailu beats you to it first. Grabbing the journal from her desk, she tosses it to the General. The man catches it with one hand before looking at her curiously.

“Take it. I already read through all of it. I have a good memory. I’ll tell them the stories myself, whether you agree with it or not,” Bailu insists, turning away in annoyance. Unexpectedly, instead of disagreement or disdain, Jing Yuan chuckles and shakes his head.

“I think you’re mistaken. I didn’t come here to scold anyone or take this back. Actually, I commend Yanqing for taking a stand against me and remaining firm in his belief that you had the right to know,” Jing Yuan says with a small smile. Yanqing lets out a relieved sigh before picking up his sword, migrating to the edge of your bed to seat himself.

You tilt your head in confusion. “Why aren’t you upset?”

Jing Yuan suddenly looks sheepish, reaching back to rub his neck. “Actually, I went to the Divination Commission to inquire about this situation. Needless to say, the Master Diviner did not agree with how I handled everything.”

You hum softly, the thought bringing you some comfort. “Did she use the Matrix of Prescience to arrive at that answer?” you ask.

“Actually….” Jing Yuan trails off as he averts his gaze. Bailu pipes up with an amused huff.

“Fu Xuan scolded you, didn’t she?” she interrogates. The General sighs softly before confirming the healer’s suspicions with a small nod.

“Well, what she said, and I quote, ‘despite having the title Divine Foresight, you spend no time thinking about the consequences of your decisions. I don't even need a third eye to see why that’s wrong. Your apprentice has more of a head than you do,’ or something along those lines,” Jing Yuan recounts with a guilty expression.

“I’m glad someone got it through that thick skull of yours, General. The memories are a precious thing to the Vidyadhara race. I can hardly believe you hid so much myself,” Bailu chastises, crossing her arms.

“I know, I know. I realize my mistake,” he starts, walking over to you and sitting beside Yanqing on the edge of the bed. “I'm glad my nosy apprentice told you everything. I thought I was protecting you by keeping everything a secret, but I only caused you more stress in the end.”

You offer a gentle smile. “I went along with it without a fuss because I trusted you. It hurt, but I figured you wouldn’t hide things without reason.”

“And even knowing that I’ve been shielding you from something painful, you still want the truth?” the man asks, the worry clear in his expression. You meet his gaze and nod.

“Yes. Learning the truth is allowing me to feel more and more complete. Even if it’s upsetting, I need to know,” you insist. Jing Yuan chuckles.

“Even without your memories, you’re just as headstrong as you were back then,” he muses. “In that case, I’ll take responsibility, and I’ll be the one to deliver the truth to you.”

“At a later date,” Bailu interjects before Jing Yuan can flip open his diary to the relevant pages. “Save any new stories for tomorrow. I don’t want to strain them further.”

“Strain..?” the General mumbles. You quickly pipe in to clarify.

“Ren… I remembered my first meeting with him. I remembered loving him. But… everything else is still foggy,” you explain.

“But that was enough to make you faint! Lady Bailu is right. We should wait,” Yanqing adds. Jing Yuan looks at you and ruffles your hair affectionately.

“In that case, tomorrow. After our duties, I’ll sit down with you and tell you more. Every single day that Bailu allows it, I’ll tell you something new,” he promises. You feel your heart warm, a weight lifted off your chest.

“I’ll hold you to it. I’m sure Yanqing will, as well. Every day…” you murmur, a small grin making its way onto your face at the thought of finally securing a way to retrieve all of what you’d lost.

Soon, you’ll have all of the pieces of your past life. Once you do, you’ll finally know everything that transpired that led you to where you are now.

As excited as you are, you can’t help but feel a sense of dread.

There’s bound to be many joyous tales from your past, but the story of heartache and loss looms over you. It reminds you that, as happy as things may be, you have to prepare yourself to accept the pain and suffering of your previous life.

You can only hope that it’s something you’ll be able to handle when the time comes.

Dusk turns to dawn, and the sun rises on a new day.

True to his word, Jing Yuan begins visiting you in the evenings at the clinic to tell you new anecdotes from your past. Filling your head with stories that feel familiar— nostalgic, he tells tales each night until your head aches, a sign that you’ve taken in enough for the day.

The General helps you recall your first meeting with him— introduced as mutual friends of Imbibitor Lunae. You slowly remember the way you would watch the two spar, happy to clean up any wounds that came as a result.

Beyond that, Jing Yuan even shares how he’d been the one to push Lunae to introduce Ren to you, having always thought that you’d be a good influence on the man. Lunae agreed, and the General had considered it a personal victory.

However, he speaks of the way you fought alongside him in battle. This fact has you curious, having always assumed you were nothing but a healer.

Jing Yuan clarifies that you were a healer, and you once took up a sword to fight against the Denizens of Abundance precisely because of that reason. Each battle he recounts has your hands ghosting over areas where you swear you feel a slight pin prick of pain.

The General mentions that each place you touch is a place where your skin had once scarred over with wounds from each fight. It makes you smile— it seems the body truly never forgets.

Days continue to pass, and with time, your mind becomes less and less fractured. With each new tale, you grow more and more sure of who you are now and who you once were. Skills you once forgot become second nature once more. Memories return to you sometimes with the assistance of Jing Yuan and Bailu. Others enter your mind naturally, a byproduct of the newfound exposure to your past life.

Bailu notes your increased skill and confidence in healing, recognizing the way you improve as you remember the techniques of your profession. Your heart fills with warmth. You start to feel like yourself again— no longer a wanderer with nothing but shards of the past to their name.

Yet, as elated as you are to make such progress, it’s bittersweet.

You know they’re still deliberately avoiding how it all ended— how your Ren became Blade, the nature of your relationship, anything to do with him. Given that they’ve yet to broach the topic, all of those memories remain locked behind a wall. Unlike other moments, you’re unable to recollect it on your own— likely too heavy a topic to be triggered without help.

A frown appears on your face. You haven’t felt more sound of yourself in ages. Are you still unprepared? Is everyone coddling you once more?

How tragic a topic is the reality of your disappearance to cause them to hold off for this long?

Either way, it fills you with uncertainty and unease. You resolve to ask about it that evening, but it seems you don’t have to, for fate aligns itself at the perfect time.

As the sun begins to fall beneath the horizon, Jing Yuan, Yanqing, and Bailu all approach you, seating you on the bed as they surround you. Their expressions are all terse— hesitant.

You’re about to ask about what’s occurred— unsettled by the tension, but Jing Yuan is the first to speak up, interrupting any thoughts you have.

“You’ve made significant progress with your memory recovery. Bailu has deemed you mentally sound enough to learn of the truth. I’ll tell you everything. Who he was in regards to you, what happened to him… and how it all ended,” the General explains. Your heart flutters in nervousness and anticipation alike.

“Everything…?” you echo. Bailu nods.

“You’ve retained everything else well. I can’t promise that this won’t cause some sort of physical reaction. Much like the first time, it’s likely you’ll experience some pain, but… if we’re right, this should be the last time,” the healer promises with a determined gaze. You smile, feeling comfort in the resolve of those around you.

“Alright. I trust you,” you say. Bailu nods to Jing Yuan, who seats himself beside you as he begins to recount his experience from his memories.

He starts. “There’s one thing I’m certain about. The way you could never tell how Ren felt towards you seems to have stuck. You were the same back then, but I knew— everyone knew that Ren loved you more than anything in this world.”

“For a while, you didn’t realize just how hard Ren had fallen for you. It was incredibly obvious to the rest of us, though. Perhaps… it was because you were always looking away. When he regarded you with nothing but pure adoration, you were inevitably turned in the other direction.”

Ren lets out an affectionate sigh as he looks at you, head propped on his hand as he watches you stare down at your work table in pure concentration. The soft grind of pestle against mortar resounds through the building. Jing Yuan chuckles softly, looking at Ren with a smirk.

“Do you plan on saying anything to them? Or are you determined to long in secrecy for the rest of your life?” he questions, teases slipping off his tongue. Ren narrows his eyes at the man.

“Watch yourself, General,” he retorts. Jing Yuan lets the empty threat slide off him with ease, refusing to back down.

“All you do is sigh and stare in every moment you spend in their presence. Why are you so hesitant?” he asks. Ren glances away towards the herbs and medicines lining the walls— all fruits of your labor.

“They’re dedicated to their craft. They wouldn’t have the time for such frivolity,” he laments. Jing Yuan hums and gives a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Nonsense. They have plenty of time to spare. I often hear them complaining that they have too much time to Lunae,” Jing Yuan counters. Ren tenses, his lips pressing into a thin line.

“I doubt they feel the same affection for me as I do for them,” he mumbles. The General has to hold back from barking out a laugh.

“Please! That’s absolutely absurd. All I hear from you are excuses,” he insists. Before Ren has a chance to retaliate, another voice speaks up.

“The General is right about this, as boastful as he’s acting currently,” Imbibitor Lunae adds in, seating himself at the table with the two. “Both of you have a limited amount of time, Ren. It’d be unwise to waste it wondering if they feel the same.”

“Exactly. Besides, if you hold back on making a move, maybe I will,” Jing Yuan jests with a smirk. Ren shoots up in his seat.

“You will not!” he seethes before rolling his eyes, practically stomping off to retreat to your side. Jing Yuan watches in amusement.

“Do you think he’ll say anything or just sulk as per usual?” he asks. The dragon beside him hums.

“Have more faith in him. You pushed him right where he needed to be pushed. Just observe for now,” Lunae says, and Jing Yuan does so.

“I guess Ren really was at his wits end at that point, and Lunae was able to pick up on it. We watched, and you leapt into his arms after he professed his love. All of us knew it was a matter of time before you ended up together, but seeing it… it was a weight lifted for all of us.

“You two were finally happy.

“For a while after that, things were calm and comforting. Ren came to terms with his short life since you’d be there to spend it with him. I’d never seen anything make him happier than the day you became his, and he, yours.

“Truthfully, I think, that day, he found something worth living for in his relationship with you. Of course, he had the rest of us, but we were all long-life species. In you, he came to understand why life was so precious— why he had to treasure his existence, no matter the length of it.

“Alas, he was still… reckless, but just in the normal, stubborn, and headfast way that he always was. You were always there to scold him for it, but we all could tell it was different. Ren was fighting for his beliefs— no longer careless about his life. He was, in lack of better terms, himself.

“As I’m sure you’re aware by now, such tranquility couldn’t last forever.

“Everything changed the day Imbibitor Lunae committed a grave sin in the eyes of the Xianzhou. Upon Ren, he bestowed the most abundant curse known to man.

“Immortality.

“It was supposed to be another battle, but the two of them had been taking far longer than usual. Both of us were worried— aware that something was amiss, but afraid to speak it aloud lest we manifest it into reality…”

Jing Yuan watches you pace nervously outside of the hall. From where he leans against the wall, he can see the frenzied fear in your eyes as you look out in the distance every few minutes, hoping to see Lunae and Ren in the horizon.

The General is equally as concerned, but he knows that he must remain grounded to keep you sane.

“Imbibitor Lunae and Ren are both capable warriors. I’m sure that they’re fine. They’re probably just falling behind,” Jing Yuan reasons. You shake your head in disagreement.

“It’s been weeks. That’s not normal. The last time it took this long, someone—” you cut yourself off, flinching. The man’s expression becomes grim. He knows you’re right— that your worry is not unwarranted.

Neither of you wanted to be “too late” again.

Walking up beside you, Jing Yuan nudges you gently.

“Let’s head out. We’ll find them ourselves,” the General assures. You offer a wry smile and nod, but before either of you can make a move, another voice interjects.

“No need. We’ve returned,” Lunae says as he approaches with Ren by his side. Jing Yuan can see your excitement, but then watches as you freeze, expression falling as you look at Ren. The General notices what you do, too.

It isn’t uncommon to return from prolonged battles covered in blood, tattered with memories of the ongoing war. However, Ren seems far too pristine to have just returned from a battlefield. He’s glowing in a way that seems… unnatural.

Your eyes shift to Imbibitor Lunae, and suddenly your eyes are cold— distant.

“I think you caught something in his mannerisms that I couldn’t. You saw something that I couldn’t see, quickly catching on that something was inherently wrong— that they were hiding something.”

“What happened?” you ask, a seriousness in your tone that felt incredibly off-putting, given that you were referring to your lover and close friend. Instead of a response, Ren reaches towards you, pulling you into a tight embrace as if his life depended on it.

You pause, carefully wrapping your arms around Ren, running fingers through his hair as you repeat your earlier question.

“What happened?” you inquire, almost pleading now. Ren stills in your arms, silently burying his face in your neck. You frown, looking to Lunae once more for answers. Jing Yuan doesn’t move from his spot, either, trying to make sense of what it is you’re picking up on.

Eventually, beneath your persistent gaze, Lunae cracks.

“Ren nearly died on the battlefield,” he admits. You tighten your grip on your lover, eyes wide with a shock that Jing Yuan mirrors.

“He looks perfectly fine… he’s walking on his own two feet, and there isn’t a trace of blood on him…” you note in disbelief. Imbibitor Lunae looks away, seeming guilty in the way his eyes fall.

“I know. That’s because I…” Imbibitor Lunae goes quiet, unable to bring himself to finish his thought. Jing Yuan narrows his eyes, arms crossing over his chest as he looks at the other.

“You what?” the General interrogates. However, the dragon doesn’t spare him a glance, instead looking to you with something that makes your eyes fill with fury. Before he can raise questions, you’re quick to clarify.

“You made him immortal? Why would you do such a grievous thing?!” you snap, forcefully separating yourself from your lover. Ren reaches for you desperately, but you take a step back. Jing Yuan easily recognizes the look of betrayal on your face.

“I can explain—” Ren starts, but you cut him off harshly.

“What is there to explain here?! I’ve treated the Mara-Struck— victims of the Sanctus Medicus, and you want to explain? I’m a healer and even I’m aware that immortality isn’t a remedy of any sort! It’s a venom! A curse!” you yell, eyes brimming with tears. Jing Yuan remains mute, unable to understand why anyone would resort to such a taboo method for any reason, especially given all that they’d witnessed together.

“Please, calm yourself and allow us to talk this o—” Before Lunae can finish his thought, you interrupt.

“Calm myself? Imbibitor Lunae, have you forgotten that I’m dying? In a few decades, I’ll be gone! Ren no longer has the mercy of dying by my side! He’ll have to witness everything!” you cry out, voice cracking as tears slip down your cheeks.

“He’ll endure so much suffering, and he’ll never be able to die…” you whisper, finally gathering enough strength to meet Ren’s gaze. “You promised.”

Ren is quick to scoop you into his arms, wiping your tears away with his thumb.

“I also promised to return to you. We’re both here now. That must count for something. Without immortality, I wouldn’t have returned to greet you again— to hold you again. And immortality doesn’t change a thing. I still plan to remain by your side for eternity,” he promises softly. You look up at him, an unfathomable sadness in your eyes.

Briefly, Jing Yuan catches you glancing at Lunae. There’s a wordless exchange in the expression you share with the Vidyadhara. The General has no idea what it is that you both say, but it’s enough because soon you’re releasing a defeated sigh.

“I’m glad you’re alright, Ren,” you say softly. Ren smiles, leaning down to kiss you gently. You reciprocate for a moment before pulling away, allowing yourself to enjoy the warmth of his presence.

Despite everything, Jing Yuan can tell that it isn’t something you’d ever move on from.

“You never brought up Ren’s immortality of your own accord ever again after that day. If it came up in conversation, you always excused yourself to be alone for a while.

“There was a time that I confronted you about it, though. I knew it was forbidden, but I needed to know what was going through your head. Honestly, I don’t think I could ever forget what you said to me that day.”

“Why wouldn’t I be upset, Jing Yuan?” you start, head in hands as you shut your eyes tight.

“There will come a time where Ren suffers unimaginable pain, and I won’t be there to help him. There will come a day where myself, Imbibitor Lunae, and even you aren’t there to support him through his suffering,” you explain. The General pauses, not having thought that far into the future.

You continue in his silence. “My death is just the start. I don’t think Ren understands how much of a tragedy that is. Soon, we will all leave him, and he’ll come to understand that death is far more merciful than being the last person left alive of all those you’ve grown to love.”

You frown and walk off, your words weighing heavily in Jing Yuan’s heart.

“I grew to understand exactly how right you were in your assumption as the years passed. When you faded away and crumbled— I witnessed firsthand how cruel his affliction was.

“Ren knew he couldn’t live without seeing you once more, I don’t think he ever thought about the inevitable day where he’d have to learn to live without you entirely.

“The day you disappeared… I could tell everything weighed heavily on your mind. In the face of your inevitable demise, you still worried for Ren.”

Jing Yuan lets out a soft sigh, watching Lunae and Ren leave for their duties. Glancing back to you on the bed, he tilts his head.

“You looked like you had more to say back then. Something else on your mind?” he asks as he seats himself on the edge of your bed. You look at him, a serious look in your eyes.

“I promise that, one day, I will find my way back to you all. One day, I’ll return, so Ren won’t have to suffer on his own,” you swear. Jing Yuan offers a sympathetic smile.

“Unless you’re a Vidyadhara, reincarnation is just a legend,” he mentions. You don’t respond, instead humming in acknowledgement to the General’s statement.

“Of course, I didn’t know you were one back then, but what I did know is that you were incredibly firm in your desire. Either way, I’d brushed it off.

“I left the room to make your medicine, but you had disappeared when I returned. Only then did I realize… that promise was your last wish— your final resolve.”

Jing Yuan continues his explanation, telling you the results of your disappearance.

Ren was never the same. He spent countless hours looking for you— searching for a body, but you’d vanished completely, much like the Mara-Struck who faded into nothingness. From that day forth, Ren’s mind fractured and he grew resentful of his curse.

As you predicted, the rest of your group slowly began to die out, your lover forced to suffer through each and every one knowing he’d never be granted the same reprieve.

Then came time for Imbibitor Lunae to pass and reincarnate.

“After Lunae died, Ren disappeared entirely, his mind shattered beyond repair— a shell of who he once was. Losing his bosom friend was the final straw.

“I tried to search for him, but he’d vanished from the Xianzhou Alliance entirely. I figured he didn’t want to be found, so I was forced to move on lest I suffered the same fate:

“Lost in our past without direction or will to live.”

Jing Yuan sighs as he finishes the story, shaking his head. “I thought it all a distant memory, then I saw you again on the Luofu as Bailu’s assistant. You looked the same way you did back then.”

“At first, I thought you just looked similar, but then I saw the horns and tail and I knew— you’d found your way back as promised, and you were a Vidyadhara. I’m sure I acted strange when we first met, but I was trying to confirm that it was really you,” he admits.

The memory of that day rushes to the forefront of your mind. The Arbitor-General had followed you and Bailu back to the clinic. His eyes were trained on your tail, watching the way it swayed as you worked before his gaze settled on your horns.

Jing Yuan had carefully observed you as you made medicine at Bailu’s work table, humming a tune that you’d heard from earlier in the day. It startled you how attentive he was being, but now it made sense.

“I confirmed it through your mannerisms and habits. I saw the way you carefully healed others. Then, you expressed familiarity towards me and that sealed it. Unfortunately, I knew you were without your memories.

“I had been keeping tabs on Blade since he appeared on the IPC’s most wanted list, and I vowed to protect you from him. If he saw you and you didn’t remember him, I had a feeling it wouldn’t go well,” Jing Yuan says, frowning.

“I thought protecting you meant guarding you from the truth so you never had to learn of the tragedy that became of your past lover, but I know now that you have to make this choice yourself. By deliberately concealing this, I’ve already hurt you enough,” he finishes softly, resting a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You remain silent and still, staring blankly ahead. From the corner of your eye, Bailu frowns.

“Are you alright?” she asks, preparing for any sort of pain that might occur as a result of everything.

Instead, tears begin to slip down your cheeks, dripping down onto your hands as you grip your robes tightly in your lap. Smiling sadly, you blink rapidly in an attempt to clear your vision of the glistening drops.

Jing Yuan is the first to react, cupping your face in his hands and wiping away your tears gently as you sniffle softly.

“What’s the matter?” the General questions, concern etched into his features. You shake your head, words caught in your throat.

Everything in your mind is clicking into place, pieces falling and fitting together.

Ah, of course. I promised this so long ago, your mind echoes. I said that I’d return— that I’d remember— so I could make it back to you and protect you from the curse you fell into.

Your shoulders shake as you begin to sob. The General pulls you into a tight embrace, Yanqing leaning against your side in an attempt to provide comfort as well.

You usually never remember any last reincarnations as a Vidyadhara. Memory is a spectrum for your kind, and you always ebbed on the side of starting with an entirely clean slate. It’s why you were so certain you’d die when you left to be born again.

You wouldn’t take any memories of your past with you, and you wouldn’t recall them.

Except, this time you did.

Dying and rebirthing with such a strong resolve meant that, since you awoke in this new life, you’ve always felt that something was missing.

Now, you know what it is.

But it’s too late, isn’t it?

You bury your face in Jing Yuan’s shoulder as you cry, mourning the past you lost, and the lover you abandoned in this world.

If Blade’s mind fractured so long ago, do you even hold a place in his memories anymore?

Is there anything you could do in your current state to help him?

Or was all of this remembrance for naught?

For this, you had no answer.

Hidden away somewhere in the Luofu, a woman observes a man from afar.

Kafka recognizes the distant expression Blade wears as he stares out at the scenery and passing Starskriffs. It’s vulnerable— longing— one that he only wears when he thinks no one is watching.

However, her attention is diverted elsewhere when her phone vibrates with an incoming text. Glancing down at the device, she smirks as she reads the message.

Kafka. Plans have changed. Blade’s initial wish will be granted.

The woman raises a brow in amusement, typing and replying to his message with a teasing response.

Even we aren’t capable of necromancy, Elio.

Instead of commenting on her witty remarks, he merely sends back a simple text which serves as enough of an explanation for Kafka.

The Vidyadhara has remembered themself, thus returning to who they once were.

Await new instructions.

The woman looks back up at Blade, smirking as she pockets her phone.

What new side of him will she be able to witness? What sort of expression will he have when Elio surprises him with this?

Kafka can’t wait to see how this story plays out.

tag rqs : @ceylestia - @thetwinkims - @astralsity - @kaminari-no-ritsusha - @jotaro-souped

[nsharks]

i just wanted to say i love your writing so much and i really enjoy following simon and y/n’s relationship! i honestly feel as if you have come up with the most accurate characterization of ghost (through both dialogue and his actions) i have ever read these days and its heart-wrenchingly beautiful to see how he opens up and softens gradually over the course of all these different moments of their relationship. im glad someone else requested the beginning of their relationship (i was curious myself!) but if i could request maybe what y/n’s birthday or an anniversary would look like? what Simon would do as a romantic gesture👀?

simon can be romantic in his own way

You’re almost certain Simon didn’t know it was your one-year anniversary.

Why would he? The date of when he asked (or rather, demanded) that you be his girlfriend wasn’t something the two of you brought up or wrote down in a calendar somewhere.

And he’d been so distracted lately. Didn’t give you the details, but there was some terrorist who had been evading their efforts for almost a year now and sometimes you found him sitting at his desk with a bunch of files, caught up in it all despite being at home.

“The whole point of a break is to not think about work,” you’d tell him, pouting and vying for his attention.

“Hard not to,” he’d grumble and sigh. “You wouldn’t understand, pet.”

So when you do wake up that morning of your anniversary, you’re not surprised that Simon doesn’t mention anything about it. You sort of tiptoe around him, going about your day as usual.

He goes to the gym.

You do some work from home.

There’s a few kisses here and there and he tells you that you look cute today, says he likes the way you’ve put your hair up. But there’s no flowers or breakfast in bed or planned dinner date. Even if he did remember, you couldn’t imagine Simon doing any of those things.

It’s later that evening, when you’ve busied yourself with cleaning up after dinner, that Simon comes up behind you.

You’ve almost forgotten about your anniversary at this point, not willing to get upset about it, when he wraps his arms around your waist from behind.

Dipping his head to the crook of your shoulder, he mutters, “Did ya know that you’ve been mine for a year now?”

Your chest tightens. You nearly drop the plate in the sink. “Oh. Is that so?”

He hums quietly. “A year ago. Do you… did you remember that?”

He sounds almost hesitant. Frowning, you turn around in his arms and place your hands to his chest. “Simon… Of course I remembered. It’s technically our anniversary, you know.”

“Bloody hell,” he groans and clears his throat. “So ya did know, then? I thought you forgot.”

Your eyebrows knit together. “No, I didn’t forget. I thought you forgot.”

“You haven’t said anything ‘bout it.”

“Neither have you!” You almost want to laugh. Instead, you rub your temples and sigh. “We’ve got to get better at communicating.”

“I didn’t know if I was supposed to… do anything for it,” he says slowly. And you realize that you’ve been a bit unfair; of course Simon wouldn’t know. He had never done this sort of thing before and romance isn’t something that comes naturally to him.

You’re about to tell him it’s okay, that it’s your fault, but then he ends up telling you, “But I’ve got something for you.”

The admission is surprising. He got you something? You could count on one hand all the gifts Simon has gotten you during your relationship. You feel your cheeks warm up at the thought, but you don’t have the chance to question him.

“Close your eyes,” he requests, and you feebly comply.

Not able to see, you feel his rough hand grab yours and tug you in the direction of what you’re pretty sure is the bedroom. Once you’re there, he gently guides you to sit on the bed and you hear rummaging around through the closet.

“You can open ‘em, pet.”

And when you do, you see that Simon is standing before you with a small, plain box in his hands.

“It’s not much,” he warns, but already just the sight of him offering this gift to you, his broad shoulders slung in uncertainty, makes you impossibly grateful.

When you open the box, he sits down beside you to explain each item.

First, a rock.

“This is just…” He is huffing under his breath and pointing to it as you hold it in your palm. “Just a fuckin’ rock. But it reminded me of you. I found it when we were stationed in Austria. I know you like the color purple and I just thought… thought ya might like it.”

On this rare occasion, it’s you who is at a loss for words. You close your palm around the rock.

Not sure what you’re thinking, Simon then reaches in the box to pull out a book. The Sun Also Rises. It’s tattered and clearly been thoroughly enjoyed.

“Read this one back when we were in Prague.”

You take the book from his hands and start flipping through the pages, revealing his barely-legible handwriting throughout it.

“Wrote notes in it,” he explains in a murmur. “Marked the things that reminded me of ya. Hemingway is better with words than I am.”

There’s a few other things in the box. Small trinkets that he’d found over months of deployment. Things that he thought you might find interesting. Things that showed you how much you were on his mind during those times apart.

The last thing you find is a framed photo. Moisture growing in your eyes and biting back a smile, you realize that it’s the only picture you two have ever taken together. Simon wasn’t fond of seeing himself in the mirror, let alone in a photo. It was one you managed to sneak in months ago when you both were laying on the couch. He’s got an arm loosely around your neck and you’re wearing the brightest of glows on your cheeks.

“I thought you threw away this picture,” you whisper, flipping the frame around in your hands as if you can’t believe it’s real.

“I kept it in the closet,” he admits. “But I think… well, maybe we should put it up somewhere now.”

You swallow and meet his eyes. “You’re okay with that?”

Simon nods. “I’m okay with that.”

It seems small. A single picture of you together after almost three years, but it’s so much more than that. A statement of his willingness to push past his discomfort, his fears. Displaying his vulnerability in a frame on the wall.

Roses and expensive dinners couldn’t amount to the love you feel from him in this moment. You place the frame back in the box and lift up his mask to kiss him. His mouth is tense for a moment before it slackens against yours and you end up kissing on the bed like teenagers, touching all over each other and discarding clothing as you try to press all inches of your body against his.

Hands ghosting along the curves of your thighs, Simon pulls away to smirk, “Time for you to give me something, yeah?”

You blush. “I didn’t… I’m sorry, I don’t have any gifts.”

“Shh.”

And Simon is soon shoving off his mask, as he did a lot more these days around you, and settling his stubbled jaw between your parted legs, letting his lips and his tongue show appreciation for the anniversary gift waiting for him there.

You fall asleep at some odd hour after he keeps you up all night, marking his love in the form of soft bruises on your skin and a pleasurable ache between your thighs. The next morning (now that Simon knows that you do, in fact, care about the date he first made you his girlfriend), you wake up to find that he’s already made you breakfast and hung up the framed picture in the living room.

[m4rried2the-moon]

⁽ 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘢 𝘱𝘪𝘤 ⁾ 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘴

this is a reading i recently did for myself, it’s basically just to take a look at what your fears are, how to overcome them and the outcome of that.

please only take what resonates, listen to your intuition closely. don’t second guess that gut feeling!

pile 1 - king of swords, five of swords, ace of swords, two of cups, five of cups (overcome: seven of cups outcome: two of wands, nine of swords and six of swords)

okay pile one, are you struggling with feelings of defeat and mental guardedness?or maybe you fear someone/something around you who is making your life harder in some way. you’re very in your head, pile one, and your feelings. there could be hesitation to start something new or take action on an idea or project you’ve been thinking of. have you been hurt in the recent past? i see that you may fear starting a new relationship or putting your faith in a new one, letting go of past failed relationships/hopes may be difficult in this moment.

to overcome this, allow this opportunity to be a blessing. this is not a trick, this is not a test. it’s an opportunity to open yourself up to new adventures, friendships, a new major success — whatever resonates for you! the outcome of this is more options, seeing that if you take a chance on this beginning, you’ll see that your fears were in vain and you’ll be able to find peace in this transition.

pile 2 - five of swords, queen of cups, ten of cups, two of wands, three of cups (overcome: three of swords, six of pentacles outcome: seven of cups and nine of cups)

pile two, have you been struggling with loneliness? feel like the folks associated with this pile are very sensitive people, you may have experienced trauma in the recent past (issues with betrayal, unnecessary conflict, grudge holding maybe) and your fear may be of never being able to find true fulfillment. an emotional guard is present with this pile but it’s clear that your desire is pure in wanting what seems to simply be more emotionally fulfilling and engaging relationships/interactions. do you feel trapped by stagnation?

to overcome this, when reflecting on your trauma, past regrets or fears of loneliness, remember that just like stormy weather, this too shall pass. be open to sharing, to generosity with those around you. engage with someone you wouldn’t typically engage with or pause to be gentler with yourself. give yourself and others grace as source will grant you. this heartbreak will not end in vain. the outcome of this is a realization your dreams are directly in your grasp and you aren’t only deserving of receiving them but you may be already.

pile 3 - queen of swords, two of wands, king of swords, the fool, eight of of swords, six of pentacles (overcome: four of pentacles, ace of pentacles and three of swords outcome: queen of pentacles, ace of cups and queen of cups)

pile three, are you struggling with discouragement? it feels like there may be multiple factors (people, responsibilities, self) weighing in on your life. these things are making you feel like you’re not able to be happy or free. are you easily influenced, pile three? it feels like while you are able to dream and hope for better, it seems like you haven’t been able to get back to positivity or optimism in a while. this may be an effect of these varying factors discouraging you. there may even be an opportunity for a new start if you have the confidence to pursue it. do you fear there is nothing or worse for you beyond this?

to overcome this, look past your stronghold on your own solitude. look ahead into ‘what if?’ there seems to be a chance here to create a new perspective, a chance to grow from whatever kept you stagnant. what if the road less traveled leads to happiness beyond like any you’ve experienced before? the outcome of this is the opportunity to love — the gift of realizing abundance is endless once you accept this as fact. in my opinion, life is supposed to be enjoyable and easy; without feeling alive, life is purely existence.

that’s it for now, hope this helped and you got everything you needed <3 please remember to like/reblog!

[edenmemes]

resident evil: 4 remake starters

❝ man, that stinks. ❞ ❝ this just keeps getting worse. ❞ ❝ you’re still a kid holding onto fantasies of what’s right and wrong. ❞ ❝ i’m gonna let you in on a little secret. just between us. ❞ ❝ the hell is going on? ❞ ❝ hey, we’re a team, right? ❞ ❝ where’s everyone going? bingo? ❞ ❝ you and me are two sides of the same coin. ❞ ❝ that’s just like you. you always had poor judgement. ❞ ❝ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❞ ❝ like i told you, i’m gonna get you home safe. ❞ ❝ i’m not falling for your mind games. ❞ ❝ you proved you can handle yourself. ❞ ❝ you haven’t changed a damn bit. ❞ ❝ you look like you’ve got something to say. ❞ ❝ gotta fix everything myself. ❞ ❝ you can’t run. you got to keep moving forward. ❞ ❝ you’re nothing but an extra in my script. ❞ ❝ i thought you were gonna die. ❞ ❝ i don’t pay you to ask questions. ❞ ❝ there’s no time for resting. ❞ ❝ revenge? you think i’m doing all this...for revenge? ❞ ❝ i need you to trust me, and do exactly as i say. ❞ ❝ you’re too soft to do what’s necessary. ❞ ❝ i know your potential better than anyone. ❞ ❝ you’ve made it all this way, but you haven’t learned a thing. ❞ ❝ maybe you’ll live to meet me again. ❞ ❝ the most important thing in this world is pure, unadulterated power. ❞ ❝ i’ve something to ask you...but i don’t think i’ll get a straight answer. ❞ ❝ you didn’t answer my question. what’re you after? ❞ ❝ you know, you were always an asshole. ❞ ❝ you have a strange sense of humor. ❞ ❝ you are nothing if not unyielding. ❞ ❝ i just wanna feel good about myself. make amends. or something like that. ❞ ❝ just give me a heads-up before you stab me next time, okay? ❞ ❝ it’s okay to be afraid, you know. ❞ ❝ what do you think? people can change, right? ❞ ❝ not looking good, eh, my friend? ❞ ❝ you try to save one person; a hundred others die. ❞ ❝ was that an act of defiance? against me? ❞ ❝ a well-tuned weapon can make up for a lack of skill. ❞ ❝ i’ll let myself out. ❞ ❝ you won’t get away with this. ❞ ❝ be a shame to live the rest of your life wondering ‘what if’ - am i right? ❞ ❝ you have the stench of battle on you. ❞ ❝ so, tell me, why did you come to this horrible place? ❞ ❝ you wanna help? cause i could use it. ❞ ❝ if i could just forget what happened that night, the pain - even for a second... ❞ ❝ i knew i could count on you. ❞ ❝ i think you’d be pretty dashing in it. ❞ ❝ i’m not used to having such good company. ❞ ❝ hey. it’s dangerous outside. ❞ ❝ god damn...i was almost a pancake. ❞ ❝ a lot of people have gone missing around here. and it’s been like that for a while now. ❞ ❝ sorry. i, uh, screwed up. ❞ ❝ i’m so scared. when that happened...i wasn’t myself any more. ❞ ❝ well done. you’ve proven yourself reliable. ❞ ❝ won’t be going anywhere in this thing. ❞ ❝ sorry, didn’t realize that was yours. ❞ ❝ this time, it can be different. it has to. ❞ ❝ everything will work out just fine. ❞ ❝ you missed. that’s not like you. ❞ ❝ come to my rescue, prince charming! ❞ ❝ sometimes it’s more fun not knowing. ❞ ❝ if you do well, i’ll make it worth your while. ❞ ❝ that hurts, you know. ❞ ❝ this is one hell of a gloomy place. ❞ ❝ why help me, though? what’s in it for you? ❞ ❝ oh, well, maybe just untie me then? ❞ ❝ knowledge is power. remember that. ❞ ❝ i can’t tell if that’s meant to be a compliment. ❞ ❝ i’m sure you’ll do your best to help me. ❞ ❝ bill me for the repairs later. ❞ ❝ it seemed like you really wanted to talk. ❞ ❝ you know, those things will kill you. ❞ ❝ you haven’t changed. you just think you have. ❞ ❝ don’t let the smallfry distract you from the big fish. ❞ ❝ quiet type, eh? ❞ ❝ guess you picked the wrong spot to vacation. ❞ ❝ a most warm welcome to my castle. ❞ ❝ bet you’ve been in spots like this before. ❞ ❝ to think you could be this foolish. ❞ ❝ give me a break already. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry. i wish i could do more to help. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to recall what happened down there. ❞ ❝ years haven’t been kind to us, i suppose. ❞ ❝ finally, some peace and quiet. ❞ ❝ who are you? and what are you doing here? ❞ ❝ i’m just an average guy who happens to be quite the ladies’ man. ❞ ❝ you should really be telling me what a good job i did. ❞ ❝ is this the first time you coughed up blood like this? ❞ ❝ so much for helping me. ❞ ❝ so, who are you working for this time? ❞ ❝ you think i’m gonna give up that easily? ❞ ❝ hey, are you sure you’re good? ❞ ❝ i’m gonna get you home safe. ❞ ❝ i have a plan. but you’re going to have to trust me. ❞ ❝ gimme some space. ❞ ❝ i don’t get you. why risk your life like this? ❞ ❝ it’s a little over-the-top, don’t you think? ❞ ❝ they’re coming! get behind me. ❞ ❝ does that hurt? are you in pain? distressed? ❞ ❝ you are really starting to become a giant pain in my ass. ❞ ❝ you know i don’t work and tell. ❞ ❝ you’ve done well to make it this far. ❞ ❝ tell someone who gives a shit. ❞ ❝ happy to help. now you owe me. ❞ ❝ are you just trying to use me again? ❞ ❝ what’re you, my mother? ❞ ❝ i’m definitely gonna catch a cold. ❞ ❝ this artwork...doesn’t it look like it’s telling some kind of story? ❞ ❝ what do we do? there’s no way out. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong with wanting the same for myself? ❞ ❝ it’s a little old fashioned for my taste. ❞ ❝ you’re losing your cool. making mistakes. ❞ ❝ don’t scare me like that. ❞ ❝ you’re slow. and so goddamn weak. ❞ ❝ wow, you’ve really gone all out for me! you shouldn’t have. ❞ ❝ i will send you back to the hell you came from. ❞ ❝ heheh, having a rough day? ❞ ❝ the reaper comes for cowards and the careless alike. which are you? ❞ ❝ i’ve got to think. need to get my head straight. ❞ ❝ i shall leave tomorrow. go far away. ❞ ❝ here’s my question...have you changed? ❞ ❝ we will beat this. together. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? show no mercy! ❞ ❝ i admit - you’ve done well to stay alive this long. ❞ ❝ this means death. a slow, miserable death. ❞

[thefandomdirtymind]

Would you be willing or interested in like either a small Drabble or fic about Sanji’s hands? Preferably with a chubby or plus sized reader? Like how he would grab them or pleasure them? Cause I am fucking obsessed with his hands and loving the work that you’re putting out ❤️❤️

A/N IMPORTANT:  Hi ! Sorry for the wait, I had tried for a while to decide if I did an headcanon or a fic and my brain just decided a morning for me. The fact that the reader is a chubby or plus size is implied but without to much precision since every bodies are different and I succeed ( I still don't know how) to put 29 time the word hands in this ! I hope you will like it !

Under his touch (NSFW)

OPLA - Sanji x Chubby/Plus size reader

Sanji / OPLA Masterlist and Coming Soon

* English is not my first language, I tried really hard to correct myself but, I hope you will excuse me if some mistakes are still there.

____

As you were sitting at the table in the kitchen. The declining light of the sun bathing of a golden orange, the pages of your book, the paper barricade lifted high enough to dissimulate your focused gaze.You couldn’t deny it any longer. 

When you sat there, after the departure of the others for a visit to the near island, you were determined to advance yourself in your reading. But, as much as you had tried, if anybody would have asked you what your book was talking about, you couldn’t have, even at the price of your life, given them an answer. 

For the past few minutes, you had been fixing the fascinating view that was the tall frame of Sanji, doing his preparation for the next day. But, more precisely his strong mid-sleeveless forearms and his hands, always in movement. His longs and slender fingers holding the knife and keeping firmly in place the diverse items he was chopping. 

Yet, meal preparation and appreciation of his skilled talent at cutting julienne wasn’t exactly what was putting your mind in a spin. For days now, the thought of his capable hands on your body, caressing tenderly your skin, exploring every one of your curves, giving them the admiration they deserved and traces with his fingertips your stretch marks like it was the most exquisite piece of art he ever saw, had made you wonder if something didn’t go well with you. Never before have you had this kind of thought or fixation about the part of somebody, neither it had caused you all those sensations. 

And then, the dream began, followed by the daydream until you couldn’t play the innocent anymore. You had a special kink for the hands of Sanji,in addition of the man himself. 

The fantasy, day or night, were always mostly different by the way it was started and the various locations it takes place. Still, every which of them have the same point that Sanji was eager, in the same way he was about a new recipe or annoy Zoro, to show you how much pleasures he can gave you with his hands, before properly fuck you.

Holding your book more loosely, your mind slowly drifting, you almost could hear him calling you by one of his sweet french pet names. But as you were trying to understand which one, you realized that the voice wasn’t in your head.

“ * Ma douce, are you okay ? You haven’t changed your page for a while now. I know that those carrots are the most sexy things you've ever seen, even my omelette au fromage * on the counter is jealous, but it's still just a vegetable” Sanji chuckles, extracting you from your daydream. * My sweet , * Cheese omelet 

“Oh sorry, I hm, I was just wondering how you cut those so quick without hurting yourself” You said, trying to hide the embarrassment of being caught fixing him. 

“ It’s nothing more than practice and good hand placement. I can teach you if you want, come here.” He joyfully replied, well intended and excited to share his cooking interest.

Putting down your book, you joined him behind the kitchen island, your nervous breath slightly caught in your throat when he held your waist to place you in front of the cutting board, before placing himself behind you. His warm breath brushed slightly the tips of your ear, as he was giving you the knife and positioning your hands.

“ So now love we will place our finger like this “ He said, helping you adjust your grip on the carrot.” And we will cut at this distance, retreating gradually our fingers without releasing your hold. We wouldn’t like it to slip and cut that pretty skin of yours “ 

“ Of course” You simply answer, the sensation of his body against yours after so many days of languin, making you quite hot.

You were only at the second carrot and archived to reach a good pace, when he sadly left you back, clearing his throat. 

“ hm, hm, mon coeur, even if I enjoy your company and your help I think I will have to finish it myself…” The blond tells, trying to smile as well as strangely avoiding your gaze. 

“ I know that my cuts are a little bit uneven but I thought…” You start before he interrupts you. 

“ It’s not it mon coeur, you did well, it’s more if we continue like that I’m afraid I wouldn’t longer be able to only be your friend. Being enveloped by your scent, feeling all those marvelous curves against me, it’s like Icarus and the beautiful sun,... I’m not that strong…” He confessed, clearly embarrassed, putting aside the collar of his striped shirt.

“ Maybe I don’t want you to only be my friend” You at your turn confessed, surprised by his reaction. Sanji was an obvious but gentlemanly flirt, but never you saw him as flushed for only a few touches. “ For days now I think at more…intimate things” 

Taking a moment to register your answer. Sanji slowly approached you, cupping the side of your face with one of his hands, his thumbs softly brushing against your lower lips. 

“ Then I should maybe show you how I would gladly burn for you” He whispered before taking possession of your mouth.  

Your lower back pressed against the island, the food long forgotten. His feverish hands were traveling on your still clothed body, trying to remove or put aside the fabrics to reach your soft bare skin, his mouth covering your neck and throat of kisses, leaving this and there love bites. Unbuttoning his shirt and helping him remove the frustrating clothes, until you finally stood in the simplest of your underwear. The nervous thought of your often insecure body washing away under his amazed gaze. 

“ Magnifique* “ Sanji said, throwed his shirt behind him, as his eyes encompassed you whole. * Magnificent

Pushing aside the neglected prep items. The blond cook tenderly took your waist, sitting you on the surface, chuckling at the little surprise noise you made as you bare ass met the wooden surface. 

As he let his hands roaming free on your body, caressing your side and slowly spreading your thighs, you felt his finger digging in your plum flesh, lazily advancing in the direction of your warm center. 

“ You know, I think I could become really intoxicated by all this. All this skin to explore, to mark, to flustered, to make mine” Sanji said “ Please, let me enjoy every inches of you Y/N“  

Nodding of the head,as your breath became more and more panting and he pushed aside the silky fabric of your bra while his mouth explored your breast, taking between his lips your hardened nipples and sucking on them gently. You tried to regain a certain clarity of mind, yet, you knew at the minute his digits reached your cunt that it was an already lost battle. His fingertips brushing against the covered lips of your pussy and his thumbs nonchalantly rub your clits, you let escape a anticipation sigh.  

“ Please, allow me” Your lover asked, waiting for your full consent, kissing your jaw. “ I will make you feel so good I promise, I will make you dance on my fingers, cry of joy under my palm, I want to find your special spot and I will take no rest before finding it“ 

“ Sanji,please, push those in me before I lose my mind “ You pleaded, his sweet promise making you head spin. 

The most adorable and joyful smile you had seen plastering his face, Sanji complied, helping you to remove the coton obstacle before sliding it in his pants pocket. His pace, at first, was slow and steady, letting you adjust around his digits, his thumb playing a warming game of brush and rub against your clits. But, as your body quickly accommodates, he gradually took more speed, drinking every one of your praises like a good wine. 

“ Oh please don’t stop, so good Sanji, so good ! “ You moan against his mouth, rolling your hips. 

“ You're so pretty when you dance on my hand like that, yes just like that ma douce “ He encouraged you, his hand pistoning in and out of you, his other helping your hips moving. 

Like he promised, he takes no rest, making you come on his fingers, his gaze glued to the magnificent vision of your form going undone. 

It was during the time you were getting down from your orgasm, Sanji fingers still buried in you, that he discovered your sensitive spot, accidentally pushing it as he was repositioning his finger.

“ Sanji ! “ You exclaimed, gripping his forearms in support. 

“ What mon coeur, did I find an interesting spot ? “ He asked, pushing it again, watching you close your eyes and almost lose your mind, before repeatedly playing with it, pushing you off the edge over and over.

“ Sanji wait, too much,please that too much, wait” You beg, your thigh shaking under the overstimulation of your g-spot and his palm rubbing against your pulsing clits. 

A proud smile on his lips and the ocean blue of his eyes darken by lust. He slowly removed his digit from your center, watching you getting down from your euphoria. He patiently licked his fingers clean, groaning like if your taste was the best flavor in the world. 

“ Mon coeur, if you let me. In a really near future,  I would love to take my time and savor you again, being in a rush like this will not give me enough time, but I swear to taste you again until your butter soft thighs close around my head and shakes  ” He promised you, tracing of his fingers the pattern of your mother nature given tattoos on your hips, his eyes never living yours. 

“ Yes please “ You replied, capturing his lips in a kiss, tasting on them your own arousal.

Opening his pants, gladly freeing his aching cock, taking your turn to explore him with your fingertips ,your name on his lips, as he grabbed your ass hard enough to leave fingerprints bruises.

“ Love, you’re really determined to put me on my knees or be the end of me isn’t it?“ He panted, accusing the regular stroke and movement of your hand along his already sensible length. 

Yet,It didn’t take long for you to feel him inside you again, you delicious torture reducing him as a begging mess to feel your warm around his cock.

Helping you to lie down on the island kitchen, resting your legs on his shoulder, he carefully penetrated you, his groan and moans mixing with yours as he thrusted in you in a steady rhythm, adapting his pace to your expression of pleasure.

The noise of your skins slapping against each other and your moaning filling the kitchen, you felt the turmoil in your body growing, making grip the border of the table , your hips lifting off the surface by themselves. 

“ Sanji I…I will come “ You cried out, reaching for his hands that he gladly gave you to hold.

“ I’m really close too, mon coeur. Seeing you like that, so pretty and in that pleasure state in my own kitchen, I would never imagine so much beauty “ He said, his voice showing his struggle to keep his hips to buckle. 

But,as he pushed further in you, making your orgasm burst and seeing stars. You felt his dick twitch as he came,letting escape in a whine the most beautiful way you had ever heard your name. 

As you were both putting back your clothes, exchanging kisses and glances, you heard the rest of the crew coming back from their island excursion. Luffy being like usual, the loudest. Giving a last glance to be sure that the kitchen was like is usual self , at the exception of the recently open window, you smile to Sanji, taking back your place with your book as he bend above you to whispered in your ears. 

“ Don’t forget your promise mon coeur, I haven’t finished exploring every inch of your beautiful body, neither will I soon forget your taste in my tongue” Sanji smiles, leaving a last kiss on your lips before washing his hands and returning to his carrots.

Trying to bring back your attention to your book, a smile on your lips, you knew that no daydream would ever beat those past and future moments. 

—–

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[mythunderstorm]

Let you go | MV1

Max Verstappen x fem!reader

summary: despite breaking up with you years ago, it seems like Max‘ still can’t forget about the time you shared.

warnings: short mention of J*s Verstappen, not really an happy ending but still sweet? idk

Normally I don’t write in first person but idk, just wanted to try something so enjoy some (short) heartbreak from Max‘ pov while I mentally prepare myself for the singapore gp lol

masterlist

It had been years since we broke up. Maybe five or even six, I think. Highschool sweethearts. Unbelievably in love but sadly not meant to last. I haven’t seen you since graduation, you going to university, I fulfilled my dream.

That‘s why this is the last place I ever expected to see you again - at one of my races. I remember that smile, that silky hair, those bright eyes, still the same from those years ago.

Just.. you.

You look a little lost, like you’re not exactly sure where to go or what to do. I was the one ending things. My career got more serious, I told you my attention should be a 100% on racing now. I told you what my father told me. I‘m sure you know my dad had something to do with the break up but you never dared to actually ask. I wouldn’t have told you the truth, anyway.

My eyes are entirely focused on you and then your eyes met mine. You realize you‘ve been caught. I notice you're with a friend, maybe even a new relationship. Regardless, seeing you brought back many bitter memories and feelings. I look forward, determined to ignore you, ignoring the part of my soul still in love with you.

I wonder if you sometimes wonder what would have happened if I never ended things with you. Because I certainly do. Would we still be together now? Or would it have ended one way or another?

I wonder if you still miss me, or if there's still any room for love in your heart. Because despite all the time that has passed, I love you. More than you know.

I can see you look up at the podium, proud but sad at the same time. I actually archived my dreams. The ones I told you about all the time while we were teenagers. The whole reason why I broke up with you in the first place. I did it. But sadly, not with you by my side.

It was heartbreaking. I still loved you deeply and after today, I wonder what might have been, if I made a mistake all those years ago.

Bullshit. I know I made a mistake that night. Ever since, your eyes kept me up at night.

I had to try and forget you, but that was much easier said than done. I missed the warmth of your eyes, your warm comforting touch. I missed your sweet voice and laugh. I missed everything about you.

Would you ever talk to me again, if you had the chance? I would want to talk to you. I‘m sure you miss me, even if it’s just a little bit. I was always good at reading your expressions.

But I am not the same guy you used to date in highschool. I’m not sure if I’m still the kind, caring Max you met and fell in love with. Because I don’t think I am that person anymore.

But I wonder the same about you. If you’re still the same caring, kind and friendly person you used to be. But I’m sure you are. You are perfect.

Even in the depths of our break up, no one else could replace you, and I think I'd known that back when we were together. It was impossible to not love you. Your presence alone made me feel like I had wings.

I look back at the late nights you sneaked me into your bedroom. Trying to keep your giggles at bay, getting lost in my eyes.

I miss those late nights we spent together and all the times we snuck around for that quick kiss or touch.

I miss holding your hand secretly underneath the table in the geography class we had together.

I miss holding you closely and feeling the heat of your body.

But most of all, I miss the warm touch of those lips. I wonder if they still taste and feel the same.

Oh what I’d give to kiss you again. Only once. If only you knew the feelings I felt for you. How the mere thought of your fingers on my skin or your voice whispering in my ear made my world stop.

I miss those long and tight hugs, I miss holding you in my arms as if I never wanted to let you go as I kissed your neck.

Oh god, I wish I was down there right now, next to you.

You smile at me and I ask myself if you’re bathing in memories and sorrow just like me. You throw one last glance at me, full of love but full of despair. Like you’re face is trying to say that you’ll always love me endlessly but it just wasn’t meant to be.

I look up and our eyes meet once again, though I know it is for one final goodbye. My heart beats faster as I look down at you from the podium and see this smile on your face. That smile I fell in love with so many years ago. I can't believe you've always lived in my heart, this entire time.

And now I let you go.

Or at least, I try.

[astarionancuntnin]

Undisclosed Desires (Chapter 2)

summary: its the day after you and astarion indulged in each other's embrace. it shouldve been a once done deal, nothing more, but that last night ended with you questioning your feelings for the pale elf. you struggle to come to terms with those and the day might prove more difficult as you get trapped alone with him in a secluded dungeon

or in short:

rating: E

word count: 4k

pairing: astarion x you (fem!reader, sorceress tav)

cw: 18+. smut, porn with little-to-no plot, karlach gets hurt for the sake of the porn (shes doing her part o7), denial of feelings, sexual tension through the roof, dom!tav/reader, teasing, dry humping, begging, ear licking, vampire bites, kinda praise kink, sorta breeding kink, your honor- theyre both brat switches fighting to top the other.

a/n: at long last, chapter 2! i had so much fun with the dialogues, i hope you enjoy them as much as i did uwu. also, inspo song at the beginning is the same as chapter 1, but a different part of the song, and end of chapter song is a different one (that i linked at the end). let me know how you feel about the dynamic in this chapter 👀

previous chapter

read on ao3

or keep reading down below ~

I shut my eyes

You call but I just cut the line

I know your style

I know that you want one more night

And I'm backsliding

Into this just one more time

-

You wake up this morning to the sound of your companions talking nearby. Instinctively, you reach for the spot next to you, only to find it empty. Figures. If it wasn’t for the aching pain in your muscles and the dizziness of your mind, you’d think what happened last night was just a dream.

The way Astarion had ravaged your body, how feral he was, the taste of him on your lips, how he felt between your legs…

Instinctively, you rub your thighs together, chasing the feeling from the previous night. You already feel that warmth between your legs as a result of those memories flooding back to you. You hear laughing outside your tent and it brings you back to the present moment ; your companions are probably waiting for you.

You quickly push aside any thoughts of him and reach for your clothes to get dressed up for the day. You take some time to prepare for what your companions have to say about the sounds that came from your tent last night. They had to have heard.

As you take your first step outside, Karlach is the first to greet you.

“Hey Soldier! Slept well? Doubt it was restful but it looks like you had the time of your life!” She nudges you.

“You can say that again! Those screams made me believe she was dying in there!” Shadowheart shouts, sitting near the campfire, before her and Karlach start laughing.

You feel yourself turn redder after each remark. Hells, I didn’t realize how loud I was.

“It did sound… intense. Are you sure you’re alright?” Wyll speaks up, more worried about you.

You lift your blushing face which was hiding in shame between your hands. “Oh, yeah no, I’m fine just- um,” you turn to Shadowheart, “Can I ask you to cast lesser restoration on me, please?”

She looks at you puzzled, “Can’t you cast it on yourself?”

“The only thing I wanna cast on myself at this very moment is eldritch blast, now, can you please cast the damn spell?”

“So much for the ‘great sorceress with limitless talents’,” she mocks you, reminding you of the very words you used back when you introduced yourself to her.

“SHADOW.”

“Fine, fine,” she scoots over the log, making space for you. “Come here, I’ll take care of you.”

You walk over to her and you sigh as you sit down, completely slouched over.

“Gods, he really did a number on you, huh,” she casts lesser restoration and you straighten up, instantly feeling much better. 

“Yeah, you should see the other guy,” you say, smiling, proud to have gained back your wits.

“Speaking of,” Wyll interjects. “We haven’t seen him all morning. We fully expected him to come out of your tent.”

“Huh, I did wake up alone,” you confess. “I just assumed he went back to his tent.”

“Heh! Maybe he’s still in there recuperating from your night together!” Karlach shouts, before laughing some more.

“Alright, alright, I’ll go check up on him,” you roll your eyes as you get up to walk towards his tent.

You’re glad it’s placed far enough from the campfire to be out of your friend’s sights. You didn’t want to give them more ideas if they saw you with the vampire this morning. You call out his name before opening the flap of his tent, only to reveal it to be empty. 

“Looking for something?”

You slightly jump, as if you were caught doing something you shouldn’t have, and quickly turn around to face him.

“Gods, you startled me.”

He walks towards you, shirtless, with his hair still damp from his morning bathing and his trousers hanging loosely around his hips.

“Terribly sorry dear, I would never do this to you intentionally.”

His little smile is unnerving. Your heartbeat quickens, and you frown at yourself; You can’t allow yourself to falter this early in the day. You take a deep breath, your way to gain back control over yourself. 

“We’re almost ready to leave, so I came looking for you,” you try to look elsewhere but you’re mesmerized by his sight.

“Well, here I am now. Can I… help you with something?”

He raises his hand and strokes your cheek gently with the back of it, his face dangerously getting near yours. You feel your face burning hotter and it takes everything in you to push yourself away from him.

“We should really go, just– get dressed. I’ll uh, I’ll wait for you around the campfire with the others.”

You turn around completely flustered and walk back to your companions.

“Again?!” Karlach exclaims as she sees the state you’re in. “At this rate, you’ll turn redder than me!”

You wanna crawl into the depths of the hells and never come back up.

—

Today’s quest brings you to a secluded dungeon. Your findings from the previous days led you there in search for more information about an artifact you previously found throughout your adventure. If you’re correct, you should find here what’s missing for it to work. Now the only thing left to do is actually finding that missing piece.

With a swift flick of his wrist, Astarion opens the door to the lower grounds. As the door opens, you’re greeted by damp air and a musty smell. The place is dusty and covered in spiderwebs. Whatever you’re looking for must be here judging by the fact that no one has been down here in ages. You all walk in and notice that the place is a damned maze filled with countless rooms. You split up from the group, starting the search on your own, and the first room you walk in greets you with an absurdly obvious trap. You sigh, discouraged, as you fall back against the wall next to the entrance. Guess I won’t be able to avoid him much longer.

“Astarion? A hand?!” Your voice echoes through the hallways, followed by the sound of his footsteps.

He makes his way towards you nonchalantly, “You called, dear?”

“Can you take care of this?” You point towards the device.

He leans over you, his arms caging you between him and the wall, “I could, if you were to ask nicely.” His face hovers dangerously close to you, you can feel his cold breaths ghosting over your lips. It would be so easy to just tilt your head up and close the gap… No, you can’t let him win this. Last night was just a mutual agreement. An exchange of sorts. Nothing more, nothing less.

You cross your arms over your chest, creating some distance between the two of you, “Don’t push your luck.”

“Oh well, I assume you know how to deal with such an intricate mechanism then, if you’re so much better than I am?”, he wears his typical shit-eating grin.

You roll your eyes and step over your pride, “Fine. Can you please disarm this trap so we can carry on?” 

“See? Now, was that so hard?” He gives you a playful look before getting to work.

You stand next to him as he fickles with the machinery when you hear a loud commotion from afar.

“FUCK!”

You recognize the voice from your fiery friend and waste no time running towards the source of her scream, only to find her in a terrible state with Shadowheart kneeling next to her. Her leg is barely recognizable. Whatever got her rendered her unable to fight from now on.

“What happened?!”

“Godsdamned trap got me, shit!” She keeps groaning in pain.

“Alright, Shadowheart, do you think you can take care of her wounds?”

“I can stabilize her, but she won’t be able to carry on with her injuries, we need to head back to camp as soon as possible so I can tend to her,” she explains.

“Okay, okay,” your eyes wander between your friends as you’re thinking of a solution. “Yeah, okay, you’re right, I’m not risking Karlach’s life on this,” the cleric nods in agreement, “But we can’t back track now. Who knows what else this trap triggered, it might’ve alarmed someone. We are so close to finding the answer, I can't risk letting it slip past us.”

Shadowheart raises as she’s about to argue but you cut her off, “Don’t worry, I still believe you two should head to the camp. Astarion and I will carry on.” You feel Shadowheart’s glare of disapproval. “I swear we’ll be careful and we’ll run back to you guys should we encounter a situation that's too much for us.” You try to reassure your friend.

“Oooooooo, keeping Fangs all to yourself?” Karlach never missed an opportunity to tease you, even when in insufferable pain. You could respect that.

“Oh please, if it were up to me, he would be the one in that trap.”

“Rude,” Astarion remarks from behind you. You can’t help the smirk creeping up on your face.

“Fine,” the half-elf frowns in resignation. “We’ll head back– but don’t do anything stupid.”

“We wouldn’t dream of it,” Astarion adds sarcastically, as the two walk away.

With half of your party gone, you lose no time continuing your research. You didn’t want to spend any more time than necessary with half the manpower in unknown territory. You pass a few halls and rooms, each containing an absurd amount of traps for what little they were hiding, slowly getting discouraged from your lack of findings, when you hear rumble afar.

You both still, listening to the sounds, when you realize they are making their way towards you. 

“Hide!”, you barely whisper.

Before he can react, you roughly drag Astarion with you in the next open room and slam the door behind you. You acted faster than you could think ; the sound of the door was loud and the footsteps are now getting faster and louder. You try to remain calm to avoid drawing any more attention than necessary when you see the expression change on your companion’s face, followed by him yelling.

“What in the sweet hells is wrong with–!”

You don’t give him time to finish his sentence as you push him against the stone wall by his waist with the force of your whole body, while your other hand covers his mouth. You stare intensely into his eyes and mouth a “shh”, as silent as you can, to convey the urgency for him to shut up as the rumble of the footsteps get even closer to your location. He blinks rapidly and nods, understanding your motion, but brings his hand up to remove yours from his mouth. You hear the footsteps stop nearby and your heart pounding in your chest as your breathing stills. Your eyes dart towards the door, anxiety building up in your chest. Anything could be outside. You cannot risk getting into a fight you couldn’t handle. Against his own good, Astarion speaks up yet again.

“Let’s just kill–”

And you shut him up, again. 

This time, with a kiss.

It’s a surprise to both of you. It was sudden, instinctive. You’re not sure what took over you, but at this moment, it seemed to be the best course of action. You stay motionless for a moment before pulling away, slowly. You hear the sounds outside your room getting further away and you finally breathe out in relief. He looks at you with an annoying smile painted over his face.

You notice him observing you. “You really need to learn when to shut up,” you say, a poor excuse to try and justify your actions, as a blush takes place over your cheeks.

His lidded eyes observe your lips before making eye contact again, “And you think you know better?”

“I know I do,” you frown slightly. 

He keeps smiling, that damn annoyingly confident smile. “I’m afraid you’ll have to teach me, then. I’ve been known to be awfully loud.”

You scoff. The audacity of this man.

Initially, that first kiss was never supposed to lead to anything else. It was spontaneous, a means to an end, just like your last night spent together. Anything to stop him from talking, whatever would save you from being found. But you couldn’t deny the feelings that fluttered in your stomach, the butterflies in your chest. 

He continues, his words dripping with sarcasm, “I’m sure a sorceress of your expertise must have some way to silence a noisy rogue like myself.”

You realize then : all along, you didn’t hate him, you hated the fact that you were attracted to him, to that damn attitude of his. Truth is, you couldn’t have enough of that banter between the two of you. Every morning, that was the thing you were looking forward to. There was no denying yourself anymore ; you chased the feeling of arguing with this overblown, pretentious asshole. You wanted him, in more ways than one, and in any way he would offer himself to you.

“I can think of a few tricks,” you lean over him the same way he did you earlier, your faces barely an inch apart.

“Try me,” his voice is barely a whisper by now.

You let your feelings guide your next move as you pull him in by the collar of his armor, crashing your lips against his. If he saw this as a game, you intended to win. As the kiss depends, you’re taken back to that scenario you played in your head the night before, prior to Astarion’s visit.

At the next corner, you would’ve pushed him by the waist against the nearest wall and shut his pretty mouth up. 

Your kiss started out rough, but it quickly became passionate, it engulfed both of you into a world of your own. His hands roamed up your back and down your waist, pulling you in closer, reaching for more contact. Your sorcerer robe allowed for you to feel how tightly he grabbed you and yet, it didn’t feel like enough. You wished for nothing more than having your skin being ravished by his touch.

You would’ve taken the chance to let one of your hands roam through his silky smooth, curly hair, pulling it enough to get a moan out of him. 

Oh, and how soft it was. Freshly washed from this morning, his curls felt like silk through your fingers. You let your hands linger in his hair, combing through it, before lightly pulling it back. He groans in your mouth as a response, not parting from your lips just yet, and you smile through it.

How you would’ve parted his legs with your own, and grinded against his crotch, feeling his growing bulge.

You easily push yourself between his legs and grind against him. He pulls back from your kiss then, gasping in surprise. With the threat outside the room being long gone, you welcomed any noise you would get out of him. You feel his cock getting harder against your leg and you keep rubbing him up and down, creating more pressure over his member. He rests his head on your shoulder, breathing hard, his hold on you getting tighter. 

“Hells, darling, I didn’t think you had it in you,” he pants.

“Mmh, seems like I’ve got a lot more to teach you then.”

You reach for your trousers under your robe, letting them fall down after loosening  your belt, before reaching for his, pulling them down just low enough to expose his cock which is already leaking with pre-come. He hisses when you grab a hold of him, your mere touch sending shivers down his spine.

You smirk at the visible reaction he has to you, feeling powerful over him. Such a contrast compared to your last night tryst. This time, you were guiding this dance.

You guide him towards your entrance, only to grind yourself over him. He slides so easily between your wet folds and you can’t help the moan escaping your lips. The friction over your clit is nothing short of euphoric. You swing your hips back and forth, coating his length with your arousal, as he holds onto your waist for dear life. You grab his face and pull him closer so your foreheads touch, then take a moment to admire the mess you’re making of him, and by the Gods, what a pretty mess he was. His parted lips, gasping between each stroke you would allow him, his eyes fluttering open, lost in the feeling of your thighs squeezing him, his roughed up curls from the sweat building up on his forehead. 

He was beautiful.

You feel him moving on his own, trying to change positions so he has more control, but it's not something you will allow this time. You take his hands from your waist and push them against the wall he was leaning against, never stopping the rhythm you had going on. 

“What do you think you're doing?” Your voice is coated with desire.

“Please, let me in,” he begs.

“Do you think you deserve it?”, you say, playfully.

“Gods, I– yes, yes I do!”, he whines.

“Beg more.”

“What?! I will not–”, before he can finish his sentence, you reach for his ear with your tongue and give it a lick from the base to the tip. “Mmmgh ah, fuck–” 

“What was that?” You nibble on his ear.

“I– Ah–,” his entire resolve crumbles. “Please, love, I need you please,”  he begs again, his voice faltering.

You continue to lick and nibble on his ear. “See? Now, was that so hard?” you tease, using his own words against him.

“Oh, you little– ah–!”

You cut him off as you raise your leg to hook it to his hips allowing you for a better angle as you push him inside you slowly. You’re so wet from teasing him that he slides in without any resistance.

You throw your head back, taking in the feeling of him filling you, and at the vision of your exposed neck, Astarion leans in the crook of your neck, bared fangs scratching the spot he previously fed from you. You feel his cold breath along with the wetness of his tongue, lapping at your healed wound. You sense what he wants to do and although you crave it and you would let him do it, you don’t wanna give in so easily.

You stop all motion and with him buried deep inside of you, your hand lingering in his hair grabs a handful of curls to pull him back, away from your prized neck, holding him in place. 

He growls insistently, his true nature coming back to him.

“Give me one good reason,” you tug harder.

Through his ragged breath, he smiles playfully, “I just wanted a snack for the road.”

“You drank last night, you don’t need it,” your tone comes out raspy and aggressive despite your enjoyment of the situation.

“But you want this,” he pauses, watching your reaction. Your answer isn’t spoken, as much as it’s seen : your chest rises higher with each panting breath you take, your eyes flutter, drunk on lust, and your core is dripping wet, your combined fluids leaking against your leg. “Don't you?” He knows both of you know it's a fight for control. 

You thrust roughly, once, to reassert your position over him, making him whimper. “And just what makes you think that?”

He locks eyes with you, a grin painting over his face. “You seemed to enjoy it last time.”

“Hardly.”

“My dear, you can deny it all you want, but I can read you like an open book.”

You hated how he always managed to have the last word. One day, you tell yourself, It’ll be me. But for now…

“Shut up and bite me.”

The second you let go of your grasp in his hair, Astarion dives in the nook of your neck, plunging his fangs in your pulsating vein. You cry out at the sharp sting you feel and once the initial pain settles in, you pick back up the rhythm you had earlier, making the elf groan as he drinks you in. He was right, his bites had the effect of an aphrodisiac on you. You would never tell him though, his ego was inflated enough as is, admitting it would only make him more insufferable than he already is.

His hold on you became tighter and the more he drank, the less your strength allowed you to keep your position, but the build up down your stomach only grew. You didn't want to falter so close to the end.

“Astarion…” you warn him.

He growls against your neck and takes one last sip of your liquid gold before removing his fangs from you, licking off the new wound he created to clean you up. That's something else you could appreciate from the vampire ; no matter how selfish you found him, he did seem to respect the boundaries you established. He would absolutely push all of your buttons but when it came to sex he seemed more attentive, responsive. You never wanted to fall for him, but your heart had other plans.

You cross your arms around his neck, closing any remaining distance between your two bodies and with all the energy left in you, you thrust harder, and faster, letting yourself get lost in the overwhelming feeling he provided between your legs. Now that you had experienced him once, you craved getting filled up by him, only him, as much as possible, as much as he wanted to. You wanted to be his. 

“Darling, I’m close–”

“Come, let go for me,” you breathe in his ear before licking him again. “You’re so pretty when you come inside me.”

Your last words combined with the stimulation you’ve given him trigger his collapse in your arms. He grasps your hips vigorously, pulling you flush against him, allowing him to unload himself deep inside of your womb. You fall over the edge shortly after, drinking in the feeling of his semen filling you up. You fantasized constantly about being filled to the brim by him. Used over and over again, leaking from his seed, the act merely done to defile you in his image. You clench around his length, your legs shaking as you picture yourself overflowing with his come and ride out the wave of electrifying pleasure that courses through you.

As you come down from your high and let your leg down, you reach for something to grab a hold of so as to not completely fall over. Astarion had completely slouched over the wall you fucked him over, he was not an option. The nearest thing that seemed solid enough was an empty torch holder placed right next to the door which you grab without second thoughts. The last thing you expected was for it to pull down as you grabbed it. Even less that it opened a secret trap door in the middle of the room, from which a pillar came out of. You stay in place for a moment, piecing together what just happened, with Astarion making eye contact with you, just as puzzled as you were.

Before you now stands an altar with a very clearly placed piece of dark metal, shaped strangely like the pattern you remember being described in the previous document you found. You put your trousers back on, dismissing the mess between your legs, and grab the missing piece, connecting it to the artifact you held, to see it click in place.

“No fucking way.”

Astarion smirks, as if he was responsible for your discovery, proud of himself, “Wouldn’t have found that out with Karlach now, would you?”

He will never let you live this down.

-

When you're around me, I'm radioactive

My blood is burning, radioactive

I'm turning radioactive

My blood is radioactive

My heart is nuclear

Love is all that I fear

[shadowdaddies]

Hello!! Could you do a fluffy Rhys x reader fic where reader has a bad habit of over working themself? Like they have a fear of letting people down if they don’t get it done or a fear of failure? Maybe a dash of praise in there🫡🫡

I have the worst habit of overworking myself simply because I am the youngest and always held up to expectations of my older siblings. It has also developed the need for perfection in my work.

sometimes I swear you guys can read my mind. I'm also a youngest child and my anxiety has been exhausting me lately so this was nice to write 💜

Just Rest

Rhys x Reader fluff

warnings: a lil suggestive hehe

You hung your aching head in your hands, hoping you could somehow will the exhaustion from your body as the book in front of you faded in and out of focus. You’d been at this for - what time was it? Rubbing your eyes, you glanced up at the clock on the wall to see it was past ten at night. You had been in here for almost fourteen hours with minimal breaks, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

You had to find the answer in one of these texts - otherwise, you were a failure to your Court. With a sigh, you tied your hair up in a bun - thanking the house when it blessed you with another cup of tea, savoring how the warm cup soothed your cold, aching hands. 

You set down the cup, blinking your eyes to regain focus as you aimed to find where you’d left off in the book. The sound of soft footfalls interrupted your focus, a familiar voice sounding from behind you as your mate purred, “what are you still doing in here, darling?” You turned your head just in time for Rhys to place a kiss to your cheek, wrapping his arms around you as he peered over your shoulder at the cluttered desk.

You sighed, holding his hands that were crossed over your chest. “I’ve been looking for any lead on how Koschei’s forces made it through our wards, but I haven’t found anything in all of these books.” You gestured to the stacks surrounding you - the overflow of information that you had been forcing yourself to absorb over the countless hours.

Rhys sighed, holding you tighter as he pressed a kiss to your neck. “I think that a break would do you some good, darling.” You twisted around in your seat, giving him an incredulous look. “Rhys, I can’t stop! If I don’t find some answers... I need to contribute.” 

Quirking an eyebrow at you, Rhys circled around to sit on the edge of the desk. With one long finger, he tilted your chin to look at him - power emanating from those violet eyes as he spoke. “You ‘contribute’ more than enough. You make this Court and my life a better place, and right now the best thing you can do for us is to let me take care of my beautiful mate.” 

You nearly melted at his words, the praise you didn’t realize you had been needing. Tilting your head to rest your cheek in his hand, you sighed and nodded up at him. “Good girl,” Rhys cooed, running his thumb across your lower lip as he smirked down at you. Heat pooled in your core at his praise, and you found yourself entranced by your mate.

Quickly standing up from the desk, Rhys kicked out your chair, startling you as he reached down and picked you up bridal style. You giggled, relaxing into Rhys’s strong arms as he carried you over to the sitting area by the fire. He laid you down on the sofa, lifting up your legs as he sat at your feet facing opposite you. 

“Lean back, darling,” he spoke softly as he watched to make sure you nestled into the pillows behind you. Rhys took your foot in his hands, and began gentling massaging the sore appendage. Despite how good it felt, you attempted to protest. “Rhys, I’ve been walking around here all day, my feet are filthy!” With a feline smirk, Rhys lifted your leg, pressing a kiss to your ankle - his eyes never leaving yours. “Oh darling, I plan to do much filthier things to you later,” he purred, sending you a mental image of exactly what he meant.

Struggling to keep your breathing steady, you slowly leaned back against the pillows and tried to relax. Rhys continued massaging your feet, and the last thing you remembered before falling asleep was his whispered praises as he moved to massage your legs.

You woke up to a shift in the bed, finding that Rhys had brought you upstairs while you were sleeping. “Shh, it’s just me, darling. Go back to sleep,” he murmured as he slipped under the covers. You shifted over, snuggling into Rhys’s side as you threw a leg over his waist, promptly falling back to sleep for a good night’s rest.

[k1ngdom-of-thieves]

Can I get a headcanon of the Pomefiore trio as vampires and Riddle as a Ghost Groom falling in love with y/n please? Gender neutral please and thank you!

I’m just gonna assume that the reader is human for this

Vampire!Pomefiore Trio and Ghost Groom!Riddle + falling in love with reader!

Vil Schoenhiet

Vil rarely goes out into the towns, there’s too many people and he would most definitely be noticed by someone. It’s fairly difficult being a famous vampire, either people flock to try to see you or people come for him with pitchforks and torches like it’s still the 18th century.

That doesn’t stop him from coming in from time to time. Which led to him bumping into you while you were taking care of a last minute errand.

At first, he was intrigued as to why you didn’t run away in fear when you saw who was in front of you. And when you looked directly into his eyes, he only grew more interested in learning more about you.

He started to come to the town more, and strangely enough he started to see you around more as well. Although his mind told him that you just happened to have a couple of errands to run, his heart hoped that you truly did want to see him.

“Oh hello there, I was hoping to run into you again. Would you allow me to walk with you to your next errand? I would love to talk with you a little more.”

Rook Hunt

Rook has always been one to watch and observe than immediately get involved right away. So when you catch his eye on a stormy night, he intended to do just that.

What he didn’t intend was for you to realize he was “observing” being a creep and started to ask him questions. Rook is a lot of things, but he isn’t a liar, he outright tells you that he’s a vampire when you ask.

He’ll be more surprised if you don’t run away screaming profanities and curses at him. Delighted, but still very surprised.

He’d love it if you’d walk with him during the nights, he rarely gets to speak with people other than vampires. He loves hearing what you think of life in the daylight.

“Oh mon ami, I adore it when you speak your mind! Please allow me to be in your presence once again soon.”

Epel Felmier

Epel never saw that many humans from where he lived. They often told stories of a “haunted farm” where the animals were fed and crops were grown without a person watching them.

These stories of course, were just ways to keep people from going to the Felmier farm. There was, as always, people who tried to get in for one reason or another.

One of those people was you. Usually Epel would just “take care” of any intruders but he was told to “have some more dignity and self-respect” by one of the older vampires so he’s been forced to trying to do that.

When he came up to try and scare you off, he noticed that you didn’t run or scream in terror. Instead you asked why he was alone on a farm. You were also petting one of his horses but he chose to ignore that.

“Oh y’know…just running the farm by myself. I could let you look around some more if you’d like.”

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle never thought he’d be able to love again. You know, because of the whole “Being left at the altar and then forced to watch others get the happy ending that you’ve always wanted” thing.

That was until he saw you. He watched as you roamed the chapel that he is frequently spotted at.

He knew that he’d just be a creep to continue watching you without at least formally introducing himself. Unsurprisingly, you were terrified when he appeared a few feet beside you.

After that initial shock, you two became very well acquainted and the two of you started to see each other more often. Although he once detested the idea of falling in love again, he figures it won’t be so bad if it was with you.

“I haven’t felt this alive since- I can’t even remember when. I suppose it may have something to do with you.”