#I really didn't expect to be blindsided by something that as I said is a personal issue to me in such an insensitive way

[captaincapsicle83]

The Stark Internship

The Avenger Series - Part One

Masterlist

"Yes he should be-" The nice blonde lady said, possibly the same one you spoke to on the phone. Her voice sounded familiar. She had told you when to arrive, 10:30 am.

Arrive where? The Stark Tower, house of Stark Enterprises. A prestigious company ran by the man who had become the youngest CEO to take hold of a company, after his father's death when he was around 20 years old.

The nice blonde lady was taking you up the glass elevator, and through it, you got a view of the city. In all its trashy reality, you found it quite beautiful. Of course, thats coming from someone raised in a farmhouse on the outskirts of a small Canadian town.

Well, not really raised. That wasn't the right word the way you spent your childhood. No, it was the house you lived in when you weren't in a boarding school, when you weren't at an awards ceremony, and when you weren't being interviewed for being a "Child Prodigy."

The elevator opened up to a pristinely kept floor, the tunes of ACDC blasting through your eardrums. You thought the traffic on the street was loud, yet this was like thunder clapping in your head.

"Hold on, Sweetie," The blonde woman touched your arm, her voice kind. It's turns shrill and seems to be full of anger as she screams, "TONY!"

Your hands go up to your ears at the blindsiding change of energy. You drop them just as quickly, shaking them as you follow the woman, and her clicking heals.

"So, you go to MIT?" She asks you, voice kind again. You had been so distracted when she told you her name, all you could come up with were states. It was definitely a state, but which one...

Maryland?

"Uhm...yeah. I- I got a letter, and a scholarship to go there. And uh... My guidance counselor wanted to set me up for an internship at a tech company," You were explaining, and she seemed genuinely interested as the two of you walked through what seemed to be the towers lab-area floor. "I...I got a lot of offers, but uh...I picked this one. It seemed..."

You voice trailed off ad you walked through automatic doors, that opened up to a room filled with things you'd dreamed of, and seen in magazines and on TV. It was a tech geeks wet dream, and you were guilty of the stereotype.

"Different," you finished your sentence, barely audible.

You were mostly focused on mechanical engineering. You planned to double major in something after those four years were up (you were two years in). You hadn't picked what yet.

You had started at MIT at 16 (technically 15, you had a late birthday). Although, you had graduated from secondary school officially at 13.

You had wanted to go to a real college, in person, not just online like your mother wanted. You wanted the experience.

You wanted to be in the world.

Also, you ran track for MITs team. Just for fun. And for the record, you were good.

The music on this floor seemed to originate, and be the loudest, in this room.

"TONY!" You regrettably flinch again at the unexpected snap of noise.

The man working at a silver table seemed unbothered, although you got the notion he heard her.

Half of Manhattan heard her.

You could now see the clutter of the lab. The tools scattered hazardously over all the surfaces. Projects, both finished and seemingly discarded ones, lay everywhere, in their own heaps.

The woman clicks a button on the wall, and the music dies away. Not looking up from the panel he was working on, the brown haired man says, "Don't turn down my music. We've been over this."

"Well, Tony, your intern is here, and I'm not just gonna leave her on your doorstep like a lost puppy," The blonde lady's eyes roll, and her tone makes you understand that, whoever she is, she's probably the most reasonable, sensible person around here.

Tony abandons his project to spin around in his stool to face you.

"J.A.R.V.I.S, why didn't you alert me that my intern was here?" He looks up at the ceiling, as if expecting Jesus to answer.

And he does.

"Sorry sir, but, you've threatened me many times that you don't like me speaking over your music."

Oh no. Oh God. Jesus is here, in the ceiling, and he's British. You always knew stealing candy from that blind priest would catch up to you.

"Then turn the music off."

"The music is off, sir."

"Are you serio-!?"

"Sir, your intern is here."

Tony gives the ceiling a nasty look, scoffing, before clapping his hands and turning his attention towards you.

"Jesus is British?" You ask, getting all your priorities straight out of the gate.

"J.A.R.V.I.S. It's Just A Rather Very Intelligent System," Tony smirks, looking pleased with himself.

You blink. You wonder why you have to think about blinking so often. "It's an acronym."

"Oh goodie. Thank you Captain Obvious."

"You're welcome."

Tony sighs for a good ten seconds, pinching the bridge of his nose, before gathering himself. "Take a seat, Mr. Starks class is starting."

You looked around the lab. Among the clutter, and among the hazards, you came to the conclusion that the only seat was the one Stark was sitting at, a poor excuse of a stool.

"There aren't any," You say, in an even tone. Tony was perplexed, how you had done basically nothing, yet stepped on every nerve he had.

"Then...lesson one! Build a chair," He said gleefully.

"I didn't sign up for a woodworking class," you cross your arms, and the smug smile drops from his face. The first emotion you expressed besides indifference, and it just had to be snarky.

You just had to be like him.

You earned a seat at the table. Minor correction- on the table. You pushed aside a very expensive looking piece of equipment, and it clattered to the floor.

You hopped up onto the surface, and smiled at his blank face.

"What the hell?" You shrug, and he waves it off, turning back to his work. "How old are you."

"Eighteen...next month," you say, picking at your fingertips, but also watching his project closely. He seemed to work on autopilot, like he didn't have to think at all.

"Hmm," He says, nodding, with a smile on his face. You got the notion he liked you. You annoyed him, you confused him, yet he liked you. "Go to any cool parties recently?"

He was getting you something to work on. He had a basic blueprint, a holographic sketch, that you were admiring as he gathered your tools.

"I've never been to a party," you say. You take the titanium alloy, and lay it out in front of you as you grab a tape measure. You spread it over Tony's chest, and he spreads his arms out for you as you do so.

You could've been a tailor, you thought. Move to Romania, or Sokovia, live in a quaint little shop. Nonetheless, measurements were elementary to you, as were most things. Like astrophysics or quantum science.

"Well, what do you and your geek burger friends do then," He pops a cherry twizzler in his mouth and you turn back to your titanium. He watches you hesitate. Watches you fumble on where to set the tape measure, before you speak again.

"You should make it red and gold, can we do that? Like Captain America was red, white, and blue. It's about the marketing process of things. The capitalism in it," you say, clearly interested in the propaganda of things. You pull up old Captain America adds from the forties on your clear pop up screen.

Tony analyzed you for a bit, long enough for you to turn your head since you were clearly expecting an answer. "Yeah," He nodded. "Red and gold works. Whatever floats your boat Miss America."

You smiled warmly, it lighting up your whole face. You had moved onto the repulser technology Tony had planned.

People weren't easy. They weren't predictable like other things in the world. You couldn't use stoichiometry to figure out what would happen when you started a conversation with someone.

And Tony Stark may not have been predictable either, in fact he was the opposite. He was impulsive, if nothing else. But you liked talking to him. It felt...

It felt like what having a friend felt like. What you remember it feeling like.

And Tony seemed to like you too, and although you couldn't fathom as to why, you accepted it.

Embraced it, actually. His dialect and diction rubbed off on you.

☆ ☆ ☆

"I don't think it's the best idea," you were saying. Tony stood in front of you, dressed in the titanium alloy suit you had helped create. One of many, someday hoped to be millions.

"I do, you trust me, don't you?" His little metal helmet tilted to the side. The tone of voice he was using was the one you recognized as how he got Pepper to do things he wanted. Pepper being the blonde woman who had first greeted you.

"Do you trust me?" You asked back. In your left hand was a repulsor, ready to beam a bright light.

"A suit of armor around the world," Tony had said. "That's what I want. To just...make everything..."

"Controlled?"

"Protected, y/n. When horrible things come, not only would we be able to stop it, but they'd be protected in the end."

"We?"

"Yes, we. I trust you. With my life. More than anyone. You're the smartest person I know, and you know better than anyone how to work these kinds of things."

"You're the hero. I'm just...I'm not sure I'd be so good at that."

"You don't need to be so scared."

"Im not scared. But I'm also not a hero."

" You can be."

So here you stood, armed for target practice. And for whatever bright idea he seemed to always have, Tony's newest was making himself the target.

"Of course. With my life," He makes a motion of crossing his heart, making you laugh a little. "Okay Wonder Kid. Ready, set-"

You shoot from your hand before the go comes, knocking Tony to the side, and a hole in the back wall of his mansion.

"Oops," you say sheepishly. Tony is laughing inside his suit, you can tell, and Pepper suddenly comes out onto the lawn.

"What is going-! Tony, what is this?" She looks at him, as he steps out of the suit, and towards you.

"Target practice," you shrugged, as Tony was adjusting the repulsor loosely strapped to your hand.

"Isn't she doing great?" Tony cooed at you, as if you were a small dog learning tricks.

"NO!" Pepper gasped.

"I told I didn't think it was a good idea using one of these outside of a suit," you say. The two of you were barely holding it together over Pepper's distraught state.

"Then why'd you do it?" He says in a mocking tone, obviously knowing why.

"'Cause I trust you...Clearly a horrible decision."

"Yeah, my wall thinks so."

☆☆☆

You had a room in the tower. It was empty, mostly, but not as bare as when you had gotten here. You took a lot of pictures, that Tony allowed (did not have the knowledge of) you to print on the tenth floor. You hung them up on your walls, and on your bedframe. It made the place less lonely.

It was dark out, and you were sitting on your bed, one leg hanging off. The overhead light was off, but your small bedside lamp illuminated your writing space.

It was an idea you had when you were young. To keep notes on the people you met. Things you wanted to remember about them, their personalities, who they were. It helped your brain, to organize things better.

You were sure most people kept lists like these on a subconscious level. And maybe one day you wouldn't feel the need to write that Tony Stark was genuis or a billionaire. Or that he was your friend.

But you liked the safety net. You liked knowing that it was something you could turn to. Something you could reread, something that ensured you would never forget.

Next part

[granddaughterogg]

Captain John Price comforts you

SUMMARY: You're going through Something (TM) and your commander offers you a hug and some kind words. Wholesome fluff with a tinge of simmering attraction. (Is it mutual? Who knows?)

Captain Price is an extremely perceptive man. He may be quite literally carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, but that doesn't mean he can't spot when one of his men (or women) is in a bad way. You were hoping that both your face – unsightly red from all this crying - and your general wet cat aura would have escaped his attention. No such luck.

"A word with you, Private?"

"Yes Sir," you sighed obediently. You have survived a week from hell, and now it felt like you've been called to the principal's office. What could your impressive commander want from you? You didn't particularly feel up to the challenge.

The door of the Captain's office closed behind you with a quiet click, but to your ears, it sounded like the swish of a guillotine.

Price circled around his desk, perpetually cluttered with paperwork. He produced a cigar from his pocket, glanced at it - and then put it back. He seemed to struggle with something, which was strange for such a quick-witted and decisive man.

Finally, he sighed, ran a hand over his face and leaned his shapely bum against the edge of the desk. You waited patiently, keeping a proper distance and staring at your boots.

"Tell me, Private…" 

That honey-smooth voice of his always disarmed you. So rough, so well suited to shouting orders amidst battle, and yet so warm. Like a caress dipped in steel.

Sometimes you imagined him using this voice while talking to his children - two mythical beings whom you've never met. It was meant to stay that way.

"…Are you all right?"

The question blindsided you. You lifted your head abruptly and gave him a wide-eyed stare. You could feel the damn tears already welling up.

You hadn't expected this. You were ready for remarks about the quality of your work, which has diminished lately. For a succinct rebuke even - Price didn't like to prolong such things. 

You didn't expect concern.

He obviously noticed that something odd was going on with your face. It would be hard not to.

"Oh dear." Price stated, cutting you a worried look with those tired blue eyes. "That bad, huh?"

"Sir." You swallowed, desperately trying to cook up some excuse that would be halfway plausible (Something got stuck in my eye.) 

"I'm…"

"I prefer not to pry into things that are none of my business, y'know," the Captain admitted, sticking both hands inside the pockets of his regulation breeches. 

"But it just so happens that you're a part of my squad and therefore you're my business. Your well-being is my business, Private. For the past few days, I've seen you slouching around, bumping blindly into things. You've stopped reacting to Sergeant MacTavish's unsavoury attempts at humour. Yesterday at the shooting range you tried to stick the wrong end of the mag into your rifle. If you go out in the field like this, you'll get hurt."

So he did notice that, too? Damn that old man. Your face was burning.

"So understand well what I'm going to say now, Private…" Price took the damn cigar out of his pocket again and twirled it in his fingers. "I realise that a young woman such as yourself might not want to confide in someone like me. You don't have to confess all your sins, but for God's sake, if you're struggling...with anything, really…then say so."

"Sir." The lump that has been long stuck in your throat finally thawed. Compromising moisture trickled from your eyes.

It was impossible to lie under that inquiring, steely blue gaze. The man oozed with embarrassment. He didn't want to do it any more than you did, but he felt that he should.

Captain Price was such a decent man. It's a shame that decent men are always married.

You decided to repay him with honesty.

"Indeed I have not been at my best lately, Sir," you said in a trembling voice. "Last week's been…difficult, for personal reasons."

"A crisis, eh?" Price sighed and began rummaging through his pockets again.

Your head darted up. "A clusterfuck of crises, if I may say so, Sir."

His chuckle was a raspy little thing. Pleasant. Frankly speaking, every noise that Captain Price ever emitted was pleasant to your ears.

"Eh, haven't we all been there? Here. You could use this."

He extended one of his long arms, firm yet slender, placing an immaculately clean handkerchief in your hand. Like nothing else in Price's possession, it was snow-white and smelled of fresh laundry.

You accepted it and wiped your face in silence.

"I'll give it back as soon as I wash it," you assured him. "And thanks."

"Never mind." He gave you one of those smiles which lit up his whole face, turning those blue peepers velvety and narrow. John Price must have laughed often because he had charming, deep wrinkles around his eyes. 

"Say, Private, would you be interested in a hug?"

You gasped at the idea. On the other hand...

"Yes, please," you declared, smiling at him through the tears. "As long as you don't mind having a wet spot in the front of your uniform."

"My vanity won't stand for it." He spreaded his arms, still grinning. 

"Come 'ere, girl."

You did.

It was a strangely solemn moment. He hugged you slowly, clearly trying his damnedest to avoid any impropriety that might arise. Price smelled like gunpowder, like those cigars of his and some musky cologne – all of the above mixed with the faint undertone of sweat. It was an intoxicating mix. You knew better than to imbibe on it, but it was hard to avoid it while the strong arms of your superior enclosed you in a warm, prolonged embrace. You chased the anxious thoughts away and just enjoyed the here and the now.

"Better now, huh?" He muttered from somewhere way above your head. Price was so much taller than you.

"Yes, Sir..." You whispered into his crumpled green shirt, faded from the desert sun.

"You know, it always feels like the fuckin' end of the world when those things happen...breakups, I mean. But it never is."

He chuckled ruefully. 

"As my ex-wife said when she was fed up with me: It's easy to find a replacement!"

You returned to your quarters fully soothed, warmed up - and stunned by the discovery.

Ex-wife?!

EX-WIFE???

[actualalligator]

Okay I'll be nice. And only request one. (for now....)

“Well, I’m sorry I fell in love with you, okay? But it happened and I can’t do shit about it.” “You… What?”

Among all the things that felt right about the coma, there were a few that stood out the most as wrong to Buck. Yes, he finally had the parents he had always wanted, and he'd saved the person he'd been born to save, but it came at the cost of having to look at Doug Kendall's face knowing how he treated Maddie. It came at the cost of Jee-Yun, of Bobby, of Eddie, of Christopher. Hen and Chimney as strangers. Yes, he had the perfect blood family he'd been desperate for for as long as he could remember, but he didn't have the family he built, the family that saw him for everything he was and still wanted him.

He thought of Eddie. They were both finally in a good place. Or they had been. Eddie was back with the 118 where he belonged. He was doing well. Buck thought he was, too. Buck couldn't say how long he'd been in love with Eddie. It felt like breathing now, easy, part of his everyday life. He knew Eddie loved him. They were best friends. They were partners. But he wanted Eddie to love him. Like Buck loved Eddie. Like he could spend the rest of his life by Eddie's side and never need anybody else. How disaster bisexual of him to fall in love with his straight best friend.

Still, he'd rather stay his best friend, quietly in love, than live in any world without him.

There were a lot of reasons Buck couldn't stay with his parents and Daniel, and love motivated every one of them.

Two months into that relationship, it felt like he woke up, and he quickly learned he was somewhere he didn't want to be.

After, everyone treated Buck like he was delicate. "You died," they said. How many times did he have to hear it? He knew! He knew he died. And he'd felt strange since then. He felt different, but he couldn't articulate how. And it felt like everyone just wanted him to be that golden retriever of a man he'd always been. What if he didn't know how to do that anymore?

He clung to Natalia. She didn't know him before. There was nothing to compare him to. He got to be whoever this new him was, right? But she thought his death was cool. She asked questions at first, ones he didn't really want to answer. And she'd talk about it with some amount of reverance. Sometimes, he wanted to scream that it happened to him, not her.

He'd pulled hard away from his family, the one he'd come back for, and clung to this person who had no expectations of who he'd been before. But he was still that person. He was still Buck. And he realized that Natalia didn't really know Buck. She knew whoever he'd spent months trying to be. He'd stood in a graveyard and told Eddie that it felt like she saw him. But that wasn't true. No, Natalia didn't see him at all.

Buck broke up with Natalia. He knew he hurt her. She was upset and blindsided, but Buck couldn't keep pretending he was someone else.

He sat alone on the steps of his loft for a long time after that.

And then he got up and he went to work. Eddie started dating Marisol the same time Buck had gotten with Natalia. She was nice. They went on a double date about three weeks in but hadn't seen much of each other since then. She made Eddie laugh. When the music came up loud at the place where the four had met for dinner, she pulled Eddie to the dance floor and kept pace the whole time. And Eddie could dance. Buck had wished more than once to be his partner, but his body didn't move like that. He was a clumsy white boy with no rhythm, and Eddie looked like he was made to be out on the dance floor.

Marisol made Eddie happy. Buck had to respect that. After he broke up with Natalia, Buck tried to mend the bridges he'd started to let rot. His family understood. They welcomed him home with open arms.

"You needed time," Maddie said. "You went through something, and you needed time. We understood."

He joined the Diaz household for movie nights and for video games. They made pizza. They went to the zoo. But it was always a party of four now. Eddie and Marisol. Buck and Christopher. There were days that left Buck desperate for even an ounce of Eddie's attention. He would leave that house feeling angry, feeling lonely. And he realized he would need to move on from Eddie if he was ever going to be happy. Eddie was happy. Marisol made him happy.

Buck needed to find his happy, too. Right after he died, when he'd been clinging to Natalia and the freedom he felt she represented, Buck hadn't meant to pull back from his family. It hadn't been an active thing. It happened.

Pulling away from Eddie, however, that he was doing on purpose. He filled his time with other things. With other people. Jee, Maddie, Chim, Bobby, and Athena. He tried to do a weekly meal with Hen and Karen. He filled his life so there wasn't room to miss Eddie. He still missed him, but he never had to lie when he declined an invitation. He would jump at the chance to hang with Christopher whenever Eddie and Marisol wanted to do something, but he rarely spent time with all three of them. And it was fine. Or it would be. Buck would take the space and time he needed to get over Eddie Diaz, and then he could be a good friend again. "Hey," Eddie said in the parking lot. He had his bag slung over his shoulder. He reached out and laid his hand on Buck's arm. "Christopher is at a sleepover tonight. Come watch movies. You haven't been over in ages."

81 days, actually. Not quite three months. That's how long it had been since they hung out. He'd been at the Diaz house, but with Christopher almost every other week for date night, but he hadn't spent more than half an hour in Eddie's house with him in 81 days. Buck thought he shouldn't know that number, but he did.

"Can't tonight," Buck said, unlocking his jeep. He pulled from Eddie's grasp and tossed his bag inside.

"What the fuck have I done?" Eddie asked, following him.

Buck didn't look at him. "You haven't done anything. I have plans tonight."

"You always have plans with everybody but me. Hell, you make plans with my kid, but you won't make plans with me. It's really starting to piss me off, Buck. What did I do?" Eddie demanded.

Buck pinched the bridge of his nose. He still won't look at Eddie. "I told you. You didn't do anything."

"So you just decided to stop hanging out with me three months ago for what? For fun? What a good fucking friend you are." Eddie checked him with hard with shoulder and turned to walk away. "I deserve more than that. You should have been a better friend."

Buck rocked slightly on his feet, glaring at Eddie’s back. Months of pent of feeling, of anger, of sadness, and feelings of being left behind welled to the surface and exploded out of him before he could stop it. “Well, I’m sorry I fell in love with you, okay? But it happened and I can’t do shit about it.”

Eddie froze. “You… What?”

Buck should have shut up. He should have stopped, got in his jeep and left. But he didn't. "It hurts, Eddie. It hurts, and you're happy. I just need to be able to get over you so I can be your friend again, so I can be happy for you in your relationship without wondering why you can't love me." He stepped back, stumbling over his own feet and back into his jeep. He furiously scrubbed at his wet eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Forget it," Buck said. "Forget it. Forget I said anything."

He climbed into his jeep and was quick to escape, leaving Eddie standing there in the parking lot. He didn't even get his seatbelt on until he was two blocks away from the firehouse.

When he got to the loft, he canceled his plans with Maddie and collapsed face first onto his bed. He cried a little. He dozed a little. He disassociated little. And then he felt someone sit down on his bed.

He groaned and buried his head in his arms. "Maddie, everything is fucked up and everything is bad, but I just need to wallow for one night. Let me wallow, please."

"I broke up with Marisol," said decidedly not Maddie.

Buck froze. He slowly turned his head so he could peek at Eddie. He was sitting with his hands folded in his lap, his head down.

"She made you happy." His voice cracked as he said it.

Eddie looked over. "You make me happy, Buck. Well, not recently, but usually. I only started dating Marisol because you sounded so serious about Natalia. She saw you. I thought I needed to move on."

Buck stared at him. "You love me?"

Eddie nodded.

"Since when?" Buck asked.

"Are you really sorry you fell in love with me?" And the question is scared in a way Buck isn't used to hearing from Eddie.

Eddie's shoes hit the floor with a loud thud and he pulled his legs up onto the bed. "Maybe after the tsunami. It's hard to tell because it went from this is my best friend to this is my person. But I knew the day you broke down my bedroom door. I just... I knew I needed to get my head right first."

Buck hid his face again. "Eddie."

Buck huffed out a laugh at that and shook his head. After a second, he took Eddie's other hand, holding them both. "I love you. I'm sorry I've been a shitty friend."

Buck takes a deep breath. He pushes himself up so he can sit facing Eddie. "I'm not. I just... watching you with her while I so desperately wanted your attention was too hard."

Eddie reached out and took his hand. "I know the feeling. Why do you think I hated Taylor so much?"

"It sucked, Buck. Not having you. Not having any idea why. But I get it. You'll still have to make it up to me," Eddie said.

"How should I do that?" Buck asked.

Eddie squeezed his hands and smiled a little. "You should start with a kiss. And then probably pack a bag so you can come over. You should also definitely cook for me."

Buck looked at him for a few seconds, his eyes darting between Eddie's eyes and his mouth. He leaned in and kissed him. He thought it would be quick, just one kiss for now, but then Eddie sighed into it and Buck suddenly didn't know how to stop. He dropped Eddie's hands to cup his face and deepened the kiss. When he finally pulled back, he felt like his lungs might explode, but it was worth it for that soft smile on Eddie's face.

Eddie nodded. "If you kiss me like that for 81 days in a row, I wouldn't be sad."

"A great start, but you have a lot to make up for. How long?" Eddie asked.

"81 days," Buck said.

Buck laughed and leaned in again. "Neither would I."

[lphoenixspiritl]

A Brother's Grief

"Aang, we need to talk." a shadow moved across the tent floor blocking the flood of warm afternoon sunlight.

"What's up Sokka? Borrowing Momo for a week not going as planned?"

Sokka glanced over his shoulder where the small lemur rifled through his things and procured one of his socks as a hat.

He turned back to his friend and took a seat on a small stump, "No that's fine, it's about Katara."

A sudden nervousness twisted Aang's stomach.

Had Sokka found out about his crush on his sister? 

Would he be mad?

"Uh, sure. You know I like Katara." Aang's hands shot up, "I-I- mean care about her! Like you do! like a brother!" the boy's cheeks warmed at the fumble.

Sokka stared at him oddly, "Uh, sure."

"So what about Katara?" Aang's voice softened, "Is it what she said about your Mom before she left? It sounded like it hurt."

Sokka could only blink in response, he expected that kind of bluntness from Toph, but coming from Aang, it blindsided him. Suddenly the weight of his emotions were too much, his shoulders collapsed and his chin dropped to his chest.

"It did," he admitted.

"I'm sorry Sokka, maybe you two should talk about it when she gets back." Aang paused his face souring, "That is if you don't have other things to talk about.

The watertribesman stared at his hands, "There's nothing to talk about."

"You have to." Aang pushed, "If that's how you feel then leaving it will just make things worse!"

"There's nothing to talk about because she's right." Sokka blurted.

"What?"

"She's right." Sokka's shoulders slumped even further, like wax melting to the floor, "I always wanted to be a great leader and warrior, just like my dad."

"But you're already a great warrior and a really good leader."

Sokka put up a hand halting Aang, hearing anything resembling praise right then would have made his stomach sick.

"You don't understand. I idolized our Dad, but Katara? She wanted to be like our mom, kind and caring and able to do almost anything - she definitely got some of dad's warrior side though." Sokka's half smile disappeared as quickly as it came, giving way to something grimmer, "But after what happened, Katara had to become what our mom was. She filled that role and in a way, I think that made her closer to Mom even though she was gone."

"It sounds like you loved your mom a lot."

"I did, but Katara's right, not in the way she does." Sokka looked up, anguish breaking across his features, "If I did, I'd be right there with her, looking for the man that took our mother from us."

"Sokka no!" A gust of air ruffled the sides of the tent, Aang propelled himself up from his seat on the floor, "Revenge isn't the way! You forgave him and Katara hasn't."

"No, I didn't," Sokka ground out, standing to meet the younger boy, "I grieved our mother and I might have accepted that she's gone but I never, ever forgave them for what they did our family. I never will." Sokka forced himself to unwind his clenched fists, he took in a breath of calm and let it out in a deflated stream that dropped him back on his seat on the stump, "If I'm being honest I don't think I would have ever moved on if Katara hadn't been there to fill the hole Mom left."

"But-"

"No buts," Sokka's eyes shone as that old pain lodged in his chest, "you had no right to tell Katara to forgive. You have no idea what we went through, what she went through."

"I lost my entire people!"

"And?" a hardness crept into Sokka's voice "This isn't some kind of competition Aang. If you can forgive the Fire Nation for wiping out your entire people, great. Katara and I don't have to do the same."

"But forgiveness is the only way to let go!"

"You had no right to ask that of her! You can't force people to forgive because you think it's the only way to let go. Newsflash kid, it's not." he had, had enough, this was a mistake.

Sokka got up to leave pausing at the open tent flap, "I never forgave the man who killed my mother and I never will. I learned to let go in my own way, now Katara has to find hers."

"By running around the Fire Nation with Zuko?"

"If that's what she needs."

"It's not safe." Aang refuted.

"And you flying out in the middle of a storm and almost blowing our cover was?" Sokka shot back.

Aang froze guilt weighing on his brow.

Sokka reigned himself in with a sigh, "Katara is safe with Zuko, I wouldn't have let them go if I didn't think he could take care of her."

"Do you trust me to take care of Katara?"

"You're just a little kid."

"You trust Zuko but not me?" Aang asked incredulously, "I'm the Avatar!"

"I trust Zuko to look after Katara because he's been the only one of us to put her first," Sokka admitted, guilt hanging from his words, he left not waiting for an answer.

The flap fell behind him with a soft rustle and Aang found himself alone in the dim tent.

…

"How did it go?" Suki's appriaching footsteps were muted by the wet sand.

"Not great." Sokka replied staring out at the crashing waves, "I'm a terrible big brother."

"No you're not, you're a good big brother," she brushed her knuckles gently along his cheek, "I've seen it myself."

Suki took a seat on the thin blanket next to Sokka and he turned to look at her, "I don't feel like it."

"You've taken care of her this long."

"Not as well as I should have. It should have been me with her, instead, Zuko is doing what I couldn't."

Suki shook her head, "I think Zuko is who she needs to be with right now." she took one of Sokka's tanned hands in hers, "but when she comes back? She's going to need you. She's going to need to know you still love her no matter what might have happened."

"I will."

"Good."

Suki leaned her head against Sokka's shoulder and quietly, they watched the sun descend to kiss the waves.

[madrone33]

I finally listened to Hadestown! 🎉

Starting with the Original Cast Recording, ‘cause might as well do it in release order. Loved it! Groovy music. Snickered. Cried. Wrote down my reaction as I went, so if you're chill with rambled thoughts and observations, here you go lol

(Soz for any typos, I was touch typing most of the time, and I've edited it but probs missed stuff)

Road to Hell (Live)

Oh it’s JAZZY. Huh. Didn't expect that, but I am living.

I like how at the start they’re simulating a train’s chugging.

Those call and response harmonies tho *chef's kiss*

Kinda reminds me of Udad.

Oh that’s Hermes!

“It’s a sad song” he says, while singing the boppiest of bops.

I like that “suitcase full of summertime” line.

“About someone... who tries.” Oho, we’re gettin into it now! *rubs hands together*

Also, I completely get now why Jorge said that first draft of EPIC: The Musical Hermes was like Hadestown.

Livin' It Up on Top (Live)

That’s a smooth transition👌

Persephone’s voice is really cool. Kinda rough texture?

Oh I didn’t realise Persephone and Hades would be having a turbulent relationship in this.

Oooh Orpheus’ voice is smooth.

They’re all so happy huh. Welp, you know there’s gonna be a crash in their future.

Orpheus seems really grateful for Persephone’s... graciousness? When he said that she'll always fill their cups and they'll raise them to her and stuff. Theory: either she’ll have a soft spot for him later, or he’ll feel betrayed and blindsided by the more cold side of her later.

All I've Ever Known (Live)

I don’t know anything about Eurydice, but is this her song?

Ah yeah Orpheus is singing, so it must be.

Oop. Foreshadowing.

Way Down Hadestown (Live)

Hermes is back!

“Bored to death” HA

“Graveyard” wow the puns/metaphors are going hard XD

I can’t tell who’s singing lmao. This is like when I listened to Hamilton for the first time. I’ll need lyrics, or familiarity RIP

The coins as the percussion/tambourine is a nice touch.

Hades’ voice is DEEP.

They haven’t mentioned gods yet, I don’t think? Just the Fates, right? It sounds more like a mining operation metaphor for mythos right now, hmm.

Epic II (Live)

King of diamonds and spades - like the playing card suits, but also like the mining operation.

It’s the La la la la thing from Wolfy’s animatic! Almost. A different rendition - I bet I'll hear that later 👀

Why is it called Epic II? Where’s 1? Am I missing something?

Chant (Live)

Oh they’re doing overlapping meodies!!

Ah wait this is Eurydice now, gotta go back a few seconds to catch that. I keep getting her mixed up with Persephone 😅

Oh now we’ve got Eurydice and Orpheus relationship troubles? Huh, I kinda assumed they’d be the perfect couple till her death.

And a semi callback to her song, nice.

Hay Little Songbird (Live)

DAMN his voice is deep!

Is this Eurydice??

Is- Is Hades seducing her? To work for him of smth? Ummm.

Not the canary!

That shaker sounds like a rattlesnake, and it does not bode well for a little bird.

When the Chips are Down (Live)

Oh hey I was right! It is a metaphorical rattlesnake!

Does she choose to go to the Underworld of her own volition? I thought she like- died.

Gone I'm Gone (Live)

She does??

Ouch. She sounds so resigned.

Is this a metaphor for her starving to death? Oof.

The harmonies!!

Wait for Me (Live)

“Six feet under” oh yep.

“Lay low, stay outta sight” - getting Hamilton's Stay Alive vibes.

“Don’t look back” ah. FORESHADOWING.

Ohhh the River Styx being a high wall is so smart!

“And don’t look no one in the eye” I must be too deep in the Odyssey related fandoms, because I'm seeing puns where there are none lmao

The HARMONIES!

Poor Orpheus, but I mean, he was kinda being a bit… naive? If he didn’t prepare for winter and just went off in his own head to make songs?

Why We Build the Wall (Live)

Free from who?

Enemy? 👀

(Yes, I'm aware I'm being led into asking all the questions he wants me to ask, but in my defence, it's very effective.)

Oh huh. Wasn't expecting it to be poverty, tho maybe I should've.

Him calling them “My children” plus the chanting is uh. Why does this sound like cult propaganda?

His voice sounds like the Ozymandias poem guy.

Also giving Frollo “She ran, I pursued” vocal vibes.

“Behind closed doors” - ominous.

Ha! Ok nice subversion.

Our Lady of the Underground (Live)

Persepone is a drug dealer XD

That’s a strange note on “there’s a crack in the wall”

Oh no, am I supposed to remember all these band member names? *crying*

Way Down Hadestown II (Live)

Bringing back motifs I see.

The pickaxes as percussion is cool.

Oop, Eurydice is getting a bit of a wake up call.

Chant II (Live)

Ooooh does the ‘backdoor’ Hermes meant, mean that Orpheus doesn’t have to ‘die’ to get there? ‘Cause he didn’t sign anything, which is a metaphor for him not actually being dead in the myth, so he can still leave.

“Hungry for the underworld” - the pomegranate?

And now Eurydice and Orpheus are singing half the La la la la tune each as if to each other from across the Underworld!

Ooh I LIKE those slant rhymes! "Young man, you can strum your lyre, I have strung the world in wire."

Oh this is where Orpheus sings his plea!! I know this is a thing because of Udad's Underworld Blues lol.

Epic III (Live)

The harmonies 🥺

Oh! It’s that part from Wolfy's animatic :O

I’m tearing up bro.

Just thinking that Eurydice was so upset with Orpheus for focusing on writing his song about Hades and Persephone, but it's that very song that is giving him a chance to sway Hades' mind. But on the other hand, if he'd focused less on the song, he never would've had to use it, y'know?

Word to the Wise (Live)

Ha the Fates(?) doing Hades’ inner monologue like, yeah bro u screwed yourself.

Uh oh this is probs where Hades comes up with the ultimatum. Wait no don't-

His Kiss the Riot (Live)

Those strings are creepy.

Belladonna? Oh the poisonous flower.

Did he call Orpheus the Jack of Hearts?

That acordian is awesome.

Fuck, I knew it.

He sounds like the guy who does the creepily ominous monologue in Micheal Jackson's Thriller.

Promises (Live)

Oh huh. It’s my theory from the 2nd song but it's Eurydice feeling betrayed that the world isn't always plentiful and not Orpheus?

Those strings are gorgeous!

Oh! A duet!

When the couple actually works out their shit:

“I do” omgggg!

KEEP WALKING. DONT LOOK BACK.

Wait for Me II (Live)

Aww that’s nice. Persephone and Hades are gonna try too!

Oh no not the “wait” like in Hurricane-

Doubt Come In (Live)

Oh noooooo

KEEP GOING. JUST KEEP GOING. SHE’S WITH YOU

OH NOOOO DON’T FALTER

LISTEN TO HER! HOLD ON! KEEP GOING!

... Oh god

Road to Hell II (Live)

NO THERE'S A FUCKING AD

Hermes sounds so sad but resigned. Like, 'Oh well. I knew it would turn out like this, but I'd hoped.' Which like. SAME.

The instruments stripped away so it's only silence and one voice is so good.

I can just imagine Orpheus collapsed shell shocked on stage as Hermes not unkindly pushes him to go on.

That reprise and ending is so fucking good AHHH omg no regrets. Some regrets. Whatever, it was good.

... Time to listen to it again with lyrics :D

And then I'm gonna listen to the Original Broadway Cast Recording!

[magicspace114]

Bird in the wrong nest

Part 1 | Part 2

There were whispers going on all day behind Syd's back. They were hyper aware of all the looks they got. They couldn't tell what was being said but they knew what it was about.

Ida wasn't in her classes that day and she'd never skipped classes, not even while she was sick. Conversely, Syd skipped almost all their classes and today they were sitting in botany, taking extensive notes. They weren't paying attention to the teacher and the teachers knew at this point to ignore them unless they were being disruptive.

Syd spotted Balthazar in the window of the classroom. They froze but the cat seemed calm. He even slow blinked at them before turning back to the dorms. Syd just got up in the middle of class and tried to leave without a word.

"Sydney Winters," the teacher spoke their whole name and it made them pause. "Where do you think you're going?"

Syd just looked the basilisk in the eye, face blank, "to the bathroom." They said with a straight face.

"You need to ask before being allowed to leave my classroom. Sit back down. If you ask politely then maybe I'll let you go."

Syd glared at that. They were not a baby that needed to be accompanied to the potty. Being denied the bathroom seemed like an infringement on some kind of right, like being denied water. So naturally, they threw up on the spot, hunching over and spewing their lunch on the polished wood floor.

The teacher startled at that, eyes wide and snake mouth opened in a comical picture of shock. Syd wiped their mouth with the back of their hand, "may I be excused to the bathroom, sir?" They said politely.

"Uh, yeah, go." The teacher nodded quickly.

Syd left, briefly dipping into a bathroom to wash out their mouth and wipe the puke on their face. They'd done this trick before, having used it a lot to get out of things when they were younger so they'd avoided getting any puke on their clothes. Not needing to use their fingers to induce vomiting was one of their many talents.

They rushed down the hall towards an exit when sudden movement in the corner of their vision surged towards them. They were blindsided, head swirling as they processed the attack, registering only ten seconds later that they were on the ground with people standing around them.

"Look what the cat dragged in." One voice cooed over them, the voice like nails on a chalkboard. "Just who we wanted to see." The group laughed that hyena laugh, their faces melding like playdough in the way Syd knew shifting to be.

"Sydney Winters," another voice said, mocking how their full name would always be called out in classes by the teachers, "where do you think you're going during class time?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Syd sat up on the ground, staring face to face with one full hyena while another girl was only half shifted, still standing on two legs with an elongated snout and spotted fur with her already long, brown hair. The last was just a girl, grinning maliciously at Syd's compromised position so close to the jaws of one hyena.

"You didn't think we'd notice? You've been off ever since this morning," the full human girl said, the ringleader to the hyenas. Syd believed she was just a witch, not shifter like her friends were.

"Heard you and Ida were doing rituals last night. Now Ida's not here and you are? And you're being all studious. Not like you," the half-shifted hyena giggled.

"But a lot like Ida," the witch smiled, "did something go wrong? Or did you want to switch bodies for a day? Not sure why you'd want to get into that freak's head, Ida."

"Really?" Syd raised an eyebrow, tone deadpan and face flat. The three girls paused at that. Syd sighed and stood up, dusting themselves off. "I should stop expecting from you three, you'll be less disappointing then." The half shifter growled and the full hyena stepped forward to advance, giggling high-pitched. "I dare you." Syd said lowly to the hyena, freezing her in place.

"Well what is all this? Why are you acting so different?" The witch huffed.

"It's none of your concern," Syd hissed, "in fact, you three are the least likely people I'd speak to about anything happening around me. So why don't you head back to class like good little students and leave me alone."

The half shifter growled more but looked at the witch. The hyena also turned their attention to the ringleader. Syd held eye contact with the witch, a heated stare, a silent challenge to the leader that they would not back down from.

The ringleader grit her teeth, "we're gonna figure out what happened last night. If not from you, from Ida."

"Touch Ida and all three of you will wake up to the 10 plagues of Egypt in your own dorm rooms." Syd seethed.

"Hmph." The witch turned around, her hyena lackeys following her.

Syd finally reached the exit, Balthazar waiting not-so patiently outside with a meow. "I know, Balt, I had to get out of the class then those girls stopped me." Syd rubbed at their head where they'd been struck, feeling scratches from long fingernails burning into their face.

Balthazar growled, tail swishing behind him as he padded in front of Syd, leading the way to the dorms. As before, he tried to open the door to the building and failed as it was too heavy but Syd wasn't far behind to open it for him.

"How did you manage to get out if you can't open the door?" Syd asked. Balthazar just meowed and Syd shrugged, "probably should have expected that answer."

On getting to the dorm room, Syd already saw the grass poking out below the door and on stepping inside, the dorm looked like a jungle. The walls were coated in ivy and the floor sprang up wild flowers. The worst thing was that Syd couldn't tell if this was Ida's doing or their own.

Balthazar picked his way carefully through the undergrowth, Syd having to duck under the prickly growth of blackberries to get to the bedroom and tripping over a heather plant that coated the floor when they didn't lift their legs high enough.

Finally, they made it into the bedroom where their shoulders relaxed on seeing their friend awake. "Ida," they rushed to her side, having to push aside more towering flowers that had started filling up their seat.

"Hey," she smiled tiredly, "what time is it?"

"1:45."

"In the morning?"

"Afternoon."

Ida gasped, sitting up, "I slept through class?!"

"Ida, you started screaming through your ritual and passed out! Class is the least you should be worried about!" Syd shot back, "look at this place!" They gestured around them.

"Wow," Ida looked around her, "is this you or me?"

"I don't know," Syd shrugged, "I've never done this before. Any 'magic' I have tends to be weather based or pranks or something. I've never had plants grow."

Ida reached out to the nearest vine and it grew towards her, "oh, yeah, this is me."

"Ida, what happened last night?" Syd took her shoulders.

Ida looked down, "I... I'm sorry. You told me not to but... I just..."

"What?"

"I wanted to know how to help you a-and the- the best way to do that was to..."

"You asked your goddess about me, right?" Syd started retreating their hands from Ida's shoulders.

"I just, I didn't think anything bad would happen. I didn't think it would be a big deal!" Ida reached for Syd's retreating hands but Syd slapped them away.

"I told you I didn't want to know!" Syd said, "that I wasn't ready to find out yet!"

"But I thought-"

"Though what? You weren't doing this for me, you were doing it for your own curiosity." Syd seethed, a lump forming in the back of their throat. "You looked in pain, you were screaming and fighting with nothing. Why?" Syd jumped up from their chair, pacing as best they could in the long grass.

"Wait, Syd, don't leave," Ida called out franticly.

"I'm not leaving," Syd hissed back, "I'm just angry at you. You hurt yourself because you couldn't leave well enough alone."

"I didn't think I'd get hurt," Ida said, quickly, "it was just a question. I've asked my goddess plenty of them before and she's always answered or given me a hint in the right direction."

"Then why did that happen? What happened?"

"I don't know," Ida said. She paused, silence enveloping them. "She didn't have the answer either. When she tried to divine the information for herself, everything got blurry and hot. It hurt." Ida rubbed at her head, "I couldn't handle it."

Syd continued to glare at their friend. "Great so even the great goddess of- of- what is Celeste the goddess of anyway?"

Ida smiled briefly, "the stars and cosmos. Older sister to the sun and moon."

"So even the sun and moon's big sister doesn't even know what I am."

"Well she doesn't know everyone's name and species. Usually I'll ask about something and if she doesn't know off the top of her head, she'll perform a divination to figure it out."

Syd huffed, storming out of the room. Ida didn't get much of a chance to call them back before they were already storming back with a cereal bar and slammed it down on the bedside table where a glass of water already sat.

"Eat. Drink." They grumbled, dropping down heavily into their seat to seethe silently, turned away from her.

Ida took the water first, holding the glass in shaky hands while glancing at Syd. Syd didn't look at her but a tower of blue flowers grew up and bloomed into large stars beside them. Syd looked down at the notes they took in botany class that day, seemingly idling through the pages for somewhere to look other than Ida or the flowers.

Syd scowled as they paused on one note, smacking the hyacinths away from them, "I don't want your flower apologies."

"It's unintentional growth," Ida said back, "I'm not trying to grow flowers, my magic is just uncontrolled and growing plants to mirror what's on my mind."

"Well control yourself, your room looks like a botanical garden."

"Honestly looks nicer like this," Ida shrugged, "might keep it."

"Maybe if heather didn't trip you up every five steps," Syd grumbled.

"Heather?" Ida hummed, seemingly surprised that was there. "What colour?"

"White," Syd shrugged.

"Huh." She looked around her room again, staring at the plants around her.

"I thought you were trying to tell me something with these plants when you didn't wake up," Syd dropped their botany notes on the bed over Ida's legs, "turns out it's just a bunch of symbolism shit." They put their own feet up on the bed, anger seeming to be calming again.

"I mean, I guess I am telling you about me. They symbolise emotion mostly."

"Are your emotions meant to be this thorny?" Syd grimaced as a pink rose bush started sprouting next to them, the thorns uncomfortably close to scratching.

"The thorns aren't the meaning, it's the plant." Ida smiled, "I'll gain control over this soon, I just need to recover a little more."

Syd leaned closer with a smirk, "sounds like little miss teacher's pet has to skip more class."

Ida's smile wiped off her face as she groaned. Syd just laughed.

[landslided]

Hi!

So Daniel and Tory, how would that go? What does Tory think of Daniel since she barely interacted with him? And on the other hand, would Daniel have to navigate some discomfort over knowing how much trauma she inflicted on Sam? (I think he has a better grasp on that than Amanda)

Would they ever have a sensei/student relationship? I'd like to see that explored to some degree in the show. (I say to some degree because I'm banking on Chozen to fill that role)

They obviously have very similar backgrounds, but how would Tory learn about it? From him? From Robby or Miguel? FrOm SaM?? Anyway, sorry for the rant and the million questions, feel free to cherry pick. :)

hi anon! thank you so much for all your questions and no i will absolutely not cherry pick them because they're all absolute gold! let's get into it:

how would i think a daniel and tory conversation go? funny thing is that i've written a chapter of two steps on the water (that hasn't been published yet) where i kind of answer that exact question.

i think daniel would be very on edge with tory at first. there is obviously a lot of history between tory and sam and i think daniel would never be able to entirely forgive tory for what she has done to sam, or at least not in a near future. i see daniel maybe forgiving her, let's say, ten years in the future when he's at the samtory wedding.... okay no let me get serious.

i think, like you said, daniel has a better understanding of the whole debacle between sam and tory than amanda but i also think daniel can sometimes be very blindsided by his own experiences and emotions and i feel like he would project a lot of himself into sam's situation, which would make sense since she's his daughter and she was the one attacked, only to get fucking kicked in the head with the realization that he understands tory very well.

i've talked about this with another person before and we both fully believe that in the concept of samtory is lawrusso 2.0, sam is johnny and tory is daniel in many ways. obviously the characters do not perfectly fit in each other's shoes but the similarities between them are obvious enough.

sam is a privileged young woman with a lot of ambition who finds herself trapped in her role as heir to her father's expectations and dreams. she's full of anger and other complicated feelings that she doesn't know how to express. she has had the chance of growing with her parents who are involved in her life, love her and want what is best for her and with a sensei/father who would NEVER harness her anger as a weapon. but sam wants to be a winner, she wants to be a fighter, she finds true meaning in leading the fight and that is something daniel doesn't understand because even if he'd shown an interest in karate back in jersey and before what happened with johnny, his desire was never to win competitions or be the best (around lol), he wanted to protect himself and learn a new skill because daniel is somehow who is fascinated by knowledge. meanwhile, johnny understands sam's need to prove herself and he understands her desire to fight and win. he gets that. we had a glimpse of that particular relationship in season 4 and im really sad we didn't get more of it.

as for tory, she does share a lot of similarities with johnny in terms of her relationship with kreese for example but there is an edge to her that is so very daniel. like i said in another post, i fully believe tory is raw and whole and honest to the point where it gets her into trouble which is something daniel shares. she is a fighter because of necessity but i don't think she finds the same joy in it sam does. not to say that i don't think tory likes karate or isn't good at it, but i think she would find a lot more of herself in miyagi-do philosophy than in cobra kai. she needs that balance, she needs to be able to fall back on someone and trust others and also herself and miyagi-do (an daniel) fill that category.

there is also a really interesting parallel to make between tory, daniel and their relationship with silver. both daniel and tory place a certain amount of trust in silver only to have that trust spit back into their faces. worse than that, silver twists the meaning of that trust, twists the meaning of tory and daniel's struggle into something ugly and dishonest. he manipulates them both into becoming and doing things they are intrinsically against in a way that is a lot more cruel than whatever kreese could have done to them both. (the cruelty of kreese is... much more apparent with johnny and with robby but that is anooooother discussion and if i start talking about the cobra fatherhood cycle again im gonna scream). i don't know if i really need to explain how tory and daniel's financial situation and how they both dealt with it is at the core of the matter here but just to kind of put it out there: daniel would totally understand tory's struggles and tory would hate his guts for it but she would probably accept his help and support more than amanda's.

i think, if daniel managed to make tory open up enough to him, either because she joined miyagi-fang and/or because she needed someone's help and she was directed to daniel, there would be a lot of self-discovery for the both of them because they are really really similar and i think daniel would probably be a little shaken by it but tory would be sooooo mad. she would be so angry that this dude who lives in the hills and drives an audi actually understands her because he's the father of the karate princess and that would! piss her off! so bad! but she would be understood by an adult maybe for the first time in her life and there would be a certain comfort in that.

i don't know that daniel would be tory's sensei, not that i think he wouldn't do a fine job of it but i think maybe that would make sam lose her mind. even post-season 5, i think the peace between sam and tory is fragile and if sam saw her father teach tory any sort of karate she would bite through her hand. but! kind of in the same way that even now i think daniel CANNOT witness johnny really teach sam karate because there is just something in that particular concept that triggers in him a fight or flight response (which for daniel is always fight). chozen would be the perfect sensei for tory because i think he would understand her on some level to and know how to channel her emotions in a positive and safe way.

as for the kids. i think robby and tory could totally bond over the fact that hey, actually we kind of dig that guy he kinda gets it meanwhile miguel and sam are throwing tornado kicks with johnny and don't really need to expand on the subject because they like johnny for really different reasons. sam and tory? god, i think sam would be relieved that tory is working through her things with her dad but she would also be extremely jealous and tory would tease her about it. like i said, their peace is fragile but i believe in them <33

i don't know if this was in any way what you were expecting when you send me this anon but i hope i somehow answered your questions and that i made sense!

thank you again!!

[azurecrystalz]

[Translation] Spider / A Nightmare Downtown 3

HiMERU: --......

Niki: ......

Rinne: ........

Kohaku: ......Ummm

HiMERU: HiMERU thought he'd lose his lunch...

Niki: I somehow found myself sticking out of the floorboards too...

Rinne: ...Augh. My body, it feels like it's bent at an angle it shouldn't bend. Can anyone see it?

Kohaku: E-everyone, sorry...I just got a liiiiitle surprised~...

HiMERU: That can't be. The cause of shock weren't the ghosts inside, but Oukawa right beside us...We were blindsided.

Niki: Kohaku-chan's fists would be thrown whenever he was jumpscared by a ghost~. Even a skilled fighter would turn pale, that was a crazy barrage.

Kohaku: That was...um...that was an accident…

Rinne: That's no good, that's just no good! At this rate our "ES Halloween" attendance is seriously gonna be in danger!

Niki: You're not wrong, if he was to go bonkers every time he's jumpscared then there's a chance he'd just do that the same day of the event~

HiMERU: --Also, at this rate the live performance may be impeded. This year the event is supposed to be made with attention to realistic details, after all. HiMERU doesn't suppose our costumes will be an exception to that.

Kohaku: There's no way you're expecting me to react like that at the live...

Rinne: Really? What's to say our costumes aren't gonna be like the ones in the haunted house? Are you gonna be able to keep a cool head when you're surrounded by a bunch of ghosts? Can you promise that you're gonna perform like normal?

Kohaku: Th-that's...well...

Rinne: Alright! In that case, we'll do some special training! No matter what motif or stage comes our way, we're gonna help you out Kohaku-chan!

Kohaku: Hah?! Special training...?!

Kohaku: Jeez….why was I pulled into this mess….Not to mention, I don’t care if you call it training but staying at ES to tell stories is ridiculous! This is all for Rinne-han’s amusement, so why do I have to be put through all this….?! You think so too right, Niki-han?!

Niki: Unn….Uuuunnnn…

Kohaku: Hey, are you even listening to me? Niki-han.

Niki: Ah, just wait a sec! I’m trying to seriously think of what snacks I wanna bring with me here. Ummumumum…this is such a life or death matter~

Kohaku: What’s with you and your worrying. If you really can’t choose then isn’t it okay to choose both?

Niki: Kohaku-chan, aren’t you a genius?! You’re right! When in doubt, I can just take it all!

Kohaku: You were wondering which of these two to pick from, but why exactly did you need to bring all this?

Niki: Even if I picked from these two, I was still gonna struggle with picking from the two kinds of sweets. But, if I take everything with me, then I'm not gonna have that issue anymore. So! What's up? Didn't you want to say something earlier?

Kohaku: As I was saying. I don't get why we're getting pulled along Rinne-han's whims so easily.

Niki: Nyaha, that's true. Well, Rinne-kun offered me dinner so that's why I went with it~.

Kohaku: He said that he'd feed you but Niki-han aren't you the one that makes the food anyways? That's just being competent.

Niki: Nono, the issue is the cost of everything, not the fact that I'm making the food. Rinne-kun said he'd cover that for me!

Kohaku: I'm sure he's just gonna use "Crazy:B"s funds or whatever else he can get his hands on to cover that.

Niki: If I can eat a big full meal for free then I'll follow you anywhere, no matter what it takes~

Kohaku: Niki-han...Don't go being lured away now, ok? And don't go following some stranger either.

Niki: Nyaha. Don't expect me to be that greedy~ There's no way, Kohaku-chan.

Kohaku: That's unconvincing...Now then, since you've got all of your snacks and stuff ready, let's go to the practice room. I'm pretty sure Rinne-han and HiMERU-han are getting it ready. Actually, how did we get permission to stay here at ES anyway? It's unusual.

Niki: Rinne-kun went and talked to the Vice President then got special permission. I have no idea how he managed to convince them, but now that we have the permission can't we sit and train for "ES Halloween"?

Kohaku: Fuu~un. I'm more amazed at the fact that Rinne-han managed to convince the Vice President. Actually, why are we even training to begin with! I told you tons of times, I'm not scared. If I'm caught a little of guard, then a defensive instinct kicks up and my fists lash out. It's just a natural reaction.

Niki: Kohaku-chan, why are you so scared of monsters--I mean...why do you have that defensive instinct? I'm actually surprised...I didn't think you'd be bugged by those kinds of stuff.

Kohaku: ......

Kohaku: It's not that I'm scared, but maybe I'm so hypersensitive because of the time I spent in the zashikirou.

Niki: Zashikirou? Well, just hearing about it does make it seem kind of scary.

Kohaku: That's not it. It's not the place itself. When I was in the zashikirou, my only way to connect to the world was the internet. So I was always surfing the net. One day, I'd wandered onto a popular occult forum. All the threads there were full of disturbing expressions...my instincts just knew I was in the wrong place...but then a huge tragedy happened.

Niki: Tr...tragedy...?

Kohaku: All my instincts wanted me to close the browser, but I really couldn't help but look around. Then there it was, a bunch of horrifying stories. There was one about a monster that took the form of a 2-meter tall woman*, and another about a seance that would happen if you played hide-n-seek alone**. Then there was an entire story about a vacant station that nobody knew anything about***.

Niki: Ohhh, so that's what you meant by "tragedy". So you saw it and got scared?

Kohaku: Arrgh. Niki-han, don't you think this is bad?! You idiot! All of these ghost stories take place in old-style Japanese houses or the countryside. Niki-han, do you even understand what it's like to read those kinds of stories in such a low light place?! You just don't get it!

Niki: That's....

Niki: (If it was that scary, then you really didn't have to see it...that's what I think...is this what they mean when they say "curiosity kills the cat"?)

Kohaku: This talk. If Rinne-han was to find out about it there's no way he wouldn't make fun of me. So keep it hush.

Niki: Nyaha. I won't say anything~. It's gonna be me and Kohaku-chan's secret!

(*): Kohaku here I think is talking about "Hachishakusama", a Japanese horror myth about an 8ft tall ghost woman dressed in a white hat and dress that abducts children. It's a little confusing because I'm not sure if 2-meters=8ft but it's the closest thing I could think of off the top of my head.

(**): What Kohaku is talking about here is more familiar to me. He's talking about "Hitori Kakurenbo", literally meaning "Lone Hide-n-Seek". The general idea of it is that it's a ritual set up involving a ghost possess a doll/stuffed animal, and you play hide-n-seek with that spirit. If you win then you survive, if not then the spirit possesses/kills you.

(***): If Kohaku here is talking about "Kisaragi Eki" then I think this is just a basic horror legend that surfaced in 2005(?) about a woman that takes a train and arrives at an empty train station (Kisaragi Station) that with no known activity and had no record of its existence. The story was told through an online comment thread somewhere but I'm pretty sure it's a famous story and there's movies made on it.

← previous | next →

[operationfortune]

Okay I know this post will gain absolutely zero traction but the more I think about it the more I want to cry about it??

slight spoilers for one of the character arcs in Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre ahead,,,

So I saw Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre in the cinema today. I was alone, it was reasonably full, the film technically only opened two days ago, and it's wider release isn't for another week, but I had time to kill and it was the only thing that piqued my interest. It sits in an interesting spot tonally, comparative, I'd say, to Netflix Exclusive Michael Bay movie 6 Underground, though to use a more recent marker I'd drop it somewhere near Bullet Train (though it's definitely much closer to 6 Underground). All this context to say that I went into this Jason Statham-lead espionage action movie with zero expectations and almost completely blind.

So please believe me when I say I was truly blindsided with joy to have canonical, casual queer representation in this Jason Statham-lead espionage action movie.

Maybe it's that I don't watch a lot of media now, but it's something I noticed while watching Glass Onion too, both with Benoit and Hugh Grant (ha, put a pin in that) and especially with the character of Peg, and it makes me a bit teary and excited when I think about it. There's something to be said for how far we've come, to the point that Casual Queer Rep is even possible. There's something about watching Peg get all flustered talking to Helen and knowing that it's because she has a crush, without it having to be flagged, spelled out, or otherwise othered by the film or its writing.

It's normalised.

Which I know shouldn't be a big deal, but right now, to me, it is. I didn't realise I could feel this way; to see a full character who just so happens to be gay, where the plot doesn't revolve around her being gay, but that part of her identity is still made clear?? I love Peg so much holy shit.

But Glass Onion is the second in a series that has established itself as a forerunner for casual diversity. Let me tell you about how Operation Fortune made me want to YELL in theatres.

It's the 8th of January, and it might be a bit early to call it, but Danny Francesco might be my favourite character of the year.

Is he perfect? God no, he's objectively not a great person; he's sleeping with his sister-in-law, he's a Hollywood diva, he's demanding, and he (spoilers, seriously) ends up engaged to a war criminal. Who happens to be the main antagonist. Who happens to be Hugh Grant. Danny is the light of my life, however, and I love him with my whole heart.

So in the beginning we're told that Danny turned down $10m because he didn't want to jump out of Greg (Hugh Grant)'s cake and sing Happy Birthday; whatever, I thought, Greg is a rich, eccentric with an obsession with celebrities, and Danny is the biggest star right now, I shouldn't read anything into it because Sometimes Rich People Just Do Things For Status Reasons. We're also told, and subsequently shown, Greg tries to take celebrity's partners/girlfriends. Cue Sarah (Aubrey Plaza) in a bright red dress that I will dream about for the next month.

Also, in the scene where Danny, Sarah, and Orson (Jason Statham) are joining the fancy party, there's some distinctly fruity vibes between the three of them, but I'm not here to push my Orson/Sarah/Danny polycule agenda, just know that I have one.

So obviously Greg is excited to see Danny, but later makes a Very Distinct Pass at Sarah, inviting both her and Danny to stay with him for the weekend, with an implied Wink Wink Nudge Nudge.

While they end up taking him up on that offer, Danny, who started the film having refused Greg's Rich Weirdo Request, and now having to spend time with him for the job, finds that he actually genuinely likes Greg, who appears to genuinely like him back, doting on him, even giving him gifts.

When Danny says to Sarah "(I'm paraphrasing, about Greg) he's really into you! If you don't take him up on his offer then I might!" my eyeballs were Out Of My Head. Like sure it sounds like a joke that would be written in to simply highlight Danny's materialism, a whole 'gay for pay' joke, something about his vanity, or even just an offhand joke that I might hear one of my straight friends who were super comfortable and confident in their sexuality say about their best friends, I was So primed for this to be something that the audience could laugh off or dismiss in hindsight. Like in my mind that solidified my headcanon of Danny as bi, but I was so used to queerbaiting and years of being told I was reading into things.

So as the plot continues, Danny's fondness for Greg goes on, turns into something incredibly genuine, and looking back, he clearly has a hero-worship crush on Greg by the end of the film.

The last shot we see of Danny and Greg is the pair of them getting into an elevator after Greg pulls a stone cold power move on the films secondary antagonists, which he had Danny assist with for flare after Danny asked specifically to stay with him for that event. In the elevator, Danny tells Greg that that was "the coolest thing he's ever seen someone do" and that's the last we physically see of them.

HOWEVER!! THE ICING!! THE CHERRY!!

At the very end of the film, one of the protagonists mentions how he's gone into the film industry, and the response he gets is;

"You better not be talking about Danny Francesco and his fiancee Greg Simmonds!"

an accurate depiction of me as the credits began to roll;

WE WIN THESE!!

BOTH DANNY AND GREG ARE CANONICALLY BI/PAN IN THIS JASON STATHAM-LEAD ESPIONAGE ACTION MOVIE IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2023!! THEY BOTH LIVE UNTIL THE END!! THEY'RE ENGAGED!! THEY'RE BOTH ABSOLUTE DISASTERS!! THEY'RE BOTH FULL, ROUNDED CHARACTERS WHO HAPPEN TO BE QUEER!!

I get choked up thinking about it now, considering how quietly overwhelmed I felt in the theatre realising that Danny and Greg's comments and moments throughout the film weren't some elaborate joke, the dialogue that reminds me of my friends, the moments that felt true to my life as a queer person, they werent the setup for any kind of homophobic mixup, miscommunication, or microaggression; no, I finally, actually felt like I saw a part of myself, of my community represented in media.

Everyone in that movie is terrible in their own way, but Danny and Greg just happened to be terrible people who are also queer. Are they perfect representation? No! Thank fuck! I think we deserve more dumbass, disaster, unethical queers in media.

Even if I don't necessarily recommend this movie (it's pretty okay if you're a fan of the genre I suppose), I subjectively love it and especially it's characters, with my whole entire heart.

Danny Francesco is canonically a dumbass, bi disaster who fell for his sugar daddy, war criminal Hugh Grant. Good for him. It's what he deserves. 🥰🥰🥰

[aziraphales-library]

Hello there ! I was wondering if you had any fic(s) where Gabriel is a d*ck (or the Archangels in general) ? Like being mean/abusive to Aziraphale and harmful physically and/or emotionally, and Crowley either defends him or even fights Gabriel ? I've read a Frankenstein AU where he's a mad scientist and horrible with his 'creature' and also one where the Archangels cut off Aziraphales second pair of wings... But they'd have to have Happy Endings or else i'd die 😂😂 Idk if this is now a weird request, hope not 😂 thank you lots !!!!

Hi. Do let us know the titles/authors/links for the fics you’ve read so we can share them with our followers! You’ll want to check out our #heaven is terrible and #gabriel is a dick tags for more fics along these lines. Here are more to add to our collection...

Feathers by LadyWallace (T)

Aziraphale gets in trouble with Heaven and Gabriel and Sandalphon decide he needs to be taught a lesson. When Crowley finds out, he's determined to make sure they don't get away with it.

(Not) Alone by lalaland666 (T)

Aziraphale had lost track of the days quite some time ago.

He’d been counting the seconds in his head, before. Heaven was always bright, always lit by perpetual sunlight, and the Room was brighter than the rest of Heaven, too, so it made it quite difficult to keep track of… of…

Aziraphale had lost track of the days quite some time ago.

Aziraphale is punished by being put in solitary confinement. Eventually, Crowley finds out.

Sticks and Stones by Oneshotshipper (M)

Following their body-swap stunt to escape their punishments, Aziraphale and Crowley are inching closer to something more than just an arrangement, something deeper than a friendship. Aziraphale receives a visitor to his shop, who was more than a little put out at being bested by him. Gabriel has some things to say, attempting to sow doubt in the angel. Luckily, Crowley is to the rescue.

Bless Your Wings and Live Life Eternal by Tenoko1 (M)

Crowley had been expecting the forces of Above and Below to target him, for Beelzebub or Hastur to seek retribution once the shock faded and the crime remained.

They had been careful. Crowley’d been downright paranoid.

Just not careful or paranoid enough to keep from getting blindsided.

Because when they came, they didn’t come for Crowley.

They took Aziraphale.

Crowley had already lived in a world without Aziraphale. He wasn't going to do it again.

More Than Words Can Say by SisterBlueSky (T)

Some time after the world didn't end, Gabriel visits Aziraphale. Aziraphale tells him to shove off. It doesn't end well.

"Did you really think your little wards could keep me out?" Gabriel said. Aziraphale followed his gaze to the large old rug, which covered the large old Circle, which Aziraphale had happily forgotten since he and Heaven had ceased communications. It had never crossed his mind that it might be not only a means of communication, but potentially an unlocked back door into the middle of his shop. Oh, shit.

With a Furtive Hand, Always With Sincere Faith by BuggreAlleThis (E)

Gabriel is set outside the Heavenly Veil by God as punishment for his role in Aziraphale's attempted execution. Powerless and bound to the mortal plane for the foreseeable future, he goes to the only angel he knows on Earth.

Mind the tags and warnings on these ones, folks!

- Mod D

[k-martins]

Hey, Jujutsu Nation! Episode has just come out and now the battles in Shibuya are going to start to heat up.

_ I must say that I'm loving the atmosphere they're giving to Shibuya station. I thought it would be very dark because it was night and we were underground, but the lighting is very well done and the fights are very clear. Furthermore, all the care and detail in the extras makes me cry with joy!

_ SATORU GOJO ARRIVES AT THE CENTER OF TROUBLES!!!!! I'm so happy that they adapted his entrance very well (I laughed at him putting his foot on the girl's face, that's so Satoru!), with a faithful adaptation to the manga panel (so shut up those who complained about the scene in "I am honored" from the first part).

_ Just an addendum: I'm liking Satoru's new look a lot more. I don't know exactly why. He looks more muscular, I think, like he has an anatomy more similar to what we see today in the manga. I like that. What's more, it has some really hot panels.

_ ITADORI IS BACK TO THE ANIME!!!!! (I know he came back in episode 6, but now we get to see him in a real fight! OUR BOY IS GROWING UP!!!!!

_ I liked seeing how they adapted the power of dividing consciousness between mei mei and their crows. I don't remember seeing this in the manga, so it's interesting to see this in practice. I thought the scene of the crows flying through Shibuya Station was very beautiful and, as a bird lover, it was perfect for me!

_ Excuse me, but I laughed when Yuji found the grasshopper devouring that man. I didn't hold back.

_ Overall, this fight was very good and frenetic (I think I would have preferred some more open shots to be able to see Yuji's attacks) and I think it's a good start. It was funny to hear that grasshopper talking about being smart and then being terrified when Yuji said that "truly intelligent people don't go around bragging like that." Just like in the first season, I think that here they work very well with the fact that Yuji is a "martial arts genius". The fighting mode is very interesting and his punches in the way they were adapted really have an impact on the viewer. I may have gotten a little out of it when he turned into a cartoon character throwing (seemingly) random punches, but I came back when he finished off the grasshopper. It was a fun battle. (This panel is also too incredible to miss.)

_ This scene below got me. Yuji saying a prayer for that man's soul reminded me a lot of Tanjiro, from kny. I was always enchanted by the respect and compassion he felt towards these unknown people. This totally fits with Yuji, because it reinforces that much more that he "save people" not just because it's a promise to his grandfather, but because he is very selfless and has a very good heart. I don't remember in the manga or the first season there's a scene similar to this, so I'm happy with the addition. I was very moved.

_ Choso's design is much better this season, I have to say. I can't wait to see his scenes in the battle against Yuji. It looks like we're going to have an incredible audio visual spectacle.

_ I confess that the scene with the extra trying to help the girl impacted me a little more than expected. I wasn't expecting that… Game destroyed a possible heterosexual romance.

_ I'm not going to be a liar and say that I understood what they were saying in this episode. Power scaling isn't really my thing, so I didn't understand half of what Kenjaku said (something about using spell amplification to break Gojo's invisible barrier?????), but the soap bubble scene is really cool. visually beautiful. I'm just a little worried about those kids who were with Mahito… I think we know now where the arsenal of transfigured people in Shibuya came from.

_ Oh oh!!!!! THE GOAT IS HERE, GIRLS AND BOYS!!!!! HE TAKES OFF HIS BLINDSIDE AND NOW THINGS ARE GOING TO GET HOT!!!!!!

_ The episode is over… HOW DID THE EPISODE END????????? I NEED TO SEE THE REST!!!! I CANNOT WAIT A WEEK!!!!!

_ Well, apparently I was wrong in my theory last week about us ending up with "yo satoru", but that doesn't lessen my fear of what GG is planning. After all, we will have the appearance of Kenjaku this week, the moment in which the strongest sorcerer in the world will be sealed for more than three years (argh! Shibuya has barely started and I'm already looking forward to the Culling Games adaptation!!!! ! I want to see Megukuna, Hakari, Kirara, Takaba, Hana excited so much that it's causing me physical pain!!!!!). This is what happens when you are gay in Japan. You are either sealed or possessed by some gender fluid entity. Poor Satosugu…

I can't wait for the next chapter! Next week major twists will happen, both in the manga and for the anime only. Could it happen that Satoru Gojo will be defeated in both because of a surprising plot twist???? That's what we'll see next Wednesday/Thursday!

[thatgirl4815]

hi elle! first of all, i loooove your analyses and i've been checking your blog religiously after ep7 so i can calm down about the shitshow that is raymew...

now that i'm calmer, i have a few thoughts as a film major with a screenwriting obsession: according to one of the most well-known and accepted versions of the three-act narrative structure, we can say that the thatcar.mp3 blowing up was the halfway point of the story (ep6 of 12) where shit starts hitting the fan for real.

and the fallout of it is raymew: the false victory/defeat that usually occurs before we build up the actual climax. which will probably blow up in 11 because this is a thai bl and spill into 12 bc of what first said abt khao's intense scene in 12. and also you can't just have a whole-hour ep as an epilogue, especially in a series as messy (affectionate) as this.

i'm kinda done theorizing plotlines bc raymew fucking blindsided me, i didn't think they would actually go there. but looking at it as a false defeat (for sand and top) and a false victory (for ray and mew) it makes such perfect sense that as upset as i still am, i'm also kinda amazed at how brilliant the writers were for this...

so i have no idea what the actual climax is going to be, or how we'll get there, but i'm pretty confident about a sandray endgame from a narrative standpoint. i don't think that endgame is gonna be particularly healthy or happy, but i think it's gonna be pretty hopeful, if still somewhat ambigious.

(also on that note: i kinda love that jojo et al. are using the fixed pair concept to move the narrative along without spending a lot of time establishing the ships in the series (as angry as i am about the lack of sandray scenes lately...). we know that forcebook (topmew) and firstkhao (sandray) are likely ending up together, so they can introduce as much mess as they can into the story without fucking them up for good. i think it's a pretty genius way of subverting but also honoring the genre tropes we've come to know and love.

anyway, i'm done now klsdmgk keep up the brilliant work!!!

Hi Fen! That is so sweet of you! Honestly made my day. I’m trying to stay hopeful, mostly because so many people in the fandom seem to be in a very hopeless state right now over SandRay, but I still firmly believe it can work out between them. The way forward is rocky, but there is a way forward nonetheless.

I know Thai BLs have a tendency to let shit hit the fan in Ep11 and then clean it up in Ep12, and while I also fully expect that to be the case here, I hope that doesn’t mean they’ll rush through the resolution. I mean I would take an hour-long episode of SandRay: Adventures in Chiang Mai, but realistically I don’t think we’ll see much future stuff.

I’m thinking the climax for each couple will be much more personal—as in, within the pairs themselves rather than outside of them. So for SandRay this could be Ray’s addiction and commitment issues, etc. (It could have to do with Sand’s ex, but I think the bulk of that conflict will pass before Ep12). For TopMew, this could be about trust, with Top possibly making some grand gesture to win Mew back over, or Top demonstrating his love for Mew by saving Mew from himself (similar to next ep?)? For BostonNick, it could be Boston realizing his feelings for Nick and trying to win him back over, only to realize that Nick helped Mew get the sex tapes from Gap? Or that Nick really has moved on. Idk, I’m just brainstorming at this point, because yeah, after RayMew happened, I genuinely have no idea what to expect.

Side note, but I have a hunch Khao’s best scene in Ep12 is some sort of a mental breakdown? Maybe something similar to what we saw in Ep4. It’s got to be highly emotional to compete with the funeral scene in MLC. Maybe it’s Ray confronting his mother’s death again, but this time it’s Sand who pulls him out of his despair? Who knows.

Interesting point about how Jojo is using the established pairs…I really hope it is the case that FK and FB’s pairings make it out alive and all of this RayMew stuff is just for dramatics and will soon pass. That is the one negative to watching shows as they air (aside from the grueling wait between eps): I wish I knew how the couples will turn out so I don’t get my hopes up for nothing.

Also, because I know this is a hard time for all of us, I wanna say that my DMs and Ask box are always open! If we’re going to suffer, at least we can all do it together lol. <3

[dykedragonrider]

Finished AI: Nirvana initiative and on the one hand, that game cooked my brain a little bit to the point I had to sit down and think about things. On that same hand, that's fucking awesome and exactly what I want out of art. There is no other hand that's just sick and I like that. Spoilerific review/ramble under the cut.

First things to praise, we got more Mizuki! I wanted that from the first one and the game delivered on that twofold, and the Somniums are generally much less trial and error (i feel like they made more sense while still maintaining that dream-like quality, whether that was my own experience or design idk but I'm attributing it to design to praise that more), and the difficulty settings, while pure numerical tweaks, are also proper numbers to tweak for difficulty settings stuff (qtes/button mashing/more time to think) in my opinion in the Discourse Of Difficulty, but that's not the point of this I just want to say that's good. Much like this game.

The six year difference thing took me going through the helix and reframing things to actually *get*, but when I got it everything slotted into place? It's really clever, and I really like the way it particularly shifts the view of Ryuki's mental state because of the incredibly strong before/afters and the good/bad days from things.

On that note, Ryuki's a really strong character! Him and Date have a really good dynamic that got me invested early on since well. I really liked Date and Ryuki's relationship with him feels super natural, especially in regards to how they feel about each other and some of the guilt they carry, they're foils, parallels, lovers, everything they have going on Works and that's all there is to say on the matter. Tama also works with him well as this like, mommy figure to him. Not maternal, mommy. I am standing by that because GOD she's so much. I love that for her though. A friend mentioned that she was designed how she is because I think it was Uchikoshi who got introduced to the word "thicc" and it just spiraled from there? However it happened it's hilarious and she's fantastic, she's assertive, she's caring, she's sitting in Boss' tits, what isn't to love about her.

I adore the way the game handles its sexual content tbh, because this game is Horny and I love that for it. It's empathetic even when it's crass (Boss talking about Bibi as her daughter wrt "she hasn't said anything otherwise" and also a well made penis joke) and it just has really good comedic timing on everything. There's some playing with expectations when it does stuff, there's the fact that it once again leans into absurdity, and also they explained Date's porno mag power stuff??? I think it's erroneous and they didn't have to, I could have just taken that as is but the explanation was funny so I don't really care, it made me feel a human emotion (whimsy) which is a good thing when talking about the sheer volume of sexual jokes in this game. I was also really glad to have Greg Chun's Date the entire time because well, that's Date to me and I think his generally very subdued delivery creates *incredible* contrast with when he's hamming it the fuck up.

Like the first game, it's incredibly tightly designed. Basically everything has an explanation, information is always relevant to something and I think it's especially good in this game since there's more twists that are foreshadowed expertly, or you can again, conclude on your own by making inferences with given info, they're really intellectually satisfying and that's fantastic, love that. It might have just been a me thing, but I was completely blindsided by the six year parallel thing, which was the only thing I didn't catch onto beforehand? It comes with a fourth wall break during that reveal but also stuff is foreshadowed before then (mostly through omission imo) so like, maybe you can catch on maybe you can't, kinda wish I could have but it is what it is, the point is that's the only one I'm a little mixed on the execution of, even if I still feel positively about its existence.

Ending wise and thematically, again citing the very empathetic reality of it I mentioned earlier in the context of its sexual humor, this game firmly believes in the potential of humans to work together and be with each other, that moment in the ending where Tearer says "come, look upon true humanity" is really good! We are, it's us working together! It scratches that same kind of itch that Yoko Taro's works do, where things are both very direct and also a little clever about it all depending on the moments. I think Mizuki's speech in the ending is a little ham fisted but it's also Mizuki, it fits her character even if I think spelling it out feels a little erroneous to lay out the entire ethos there. Amame, and to some degree, Ryuki, also give the theme of "yeah life dealt you a shit hand and you made some bad choices, that doesn't mean you're irredeemable it just makes you human" which I am always a sucker for.

I think my only real complaint about this game is Lien. When he's not being Kizzybrained I don't mind him but everything else with him just really did not land with me. His stuff feels like it doesn't have enough time to breathe, and his Somnium does add to it well! It's just not enough.

Other than that though, peak fucking fiction. I love strong women, pathetic men, lots of thought and humor, and a very human story.

[darkdisrepair]

imogen, laudna, and romance: cr3e27 part 1

though i didn't write a meta for episode 26 i'm back to break down some of the juicy first-half tidbits from the most recent critical role episode!

topics include: laudna & dusk | romance brain

and keep an eye out for part 2!

dusk asks laudna out

now, there are a few things outside of the whole situation that we can factor into this discussion: a) that dusk will eventually double-cross the group and b) that erika ishii the icon has a critical role romance hit list.

let's talk about point a (which to be honest is more relevant). there's a finesse to dusk's choices that i just love. for one, the bumbling, clumsy, enthusiastic character choice was perfect. it's hard not to trust someone who seems so open with their flaws and with the things that they forget.

but what's even more brilliant is that dusk has actually gotten close with the group, and not just in a "you saved me, thank you!! :)" way. because even that doesn't earn trust. not in the way that being a confidante does, not in the way that showing concern over backstory lore and protecting fearne when she's about to get rat-squished does.

if you didn't know dusk was a traitor, you could easily be fooled by the intimacy of it all, of growing to care about people. and what other way to both earn trust and to gain leverage over someone by "falling in love" with them?

it's a vulnerable position, to ask someone out. if you were doubtful about dusk (which i suspect orym and chetney, or at least liam and travis, are starting to wonder about), it's hard to feel like the sweet, shy person asking you on a date will backstab you. but also, becoming romantically entangled is an awfully good way to get someone to do something that you want.

think about it: when imogen and laudna (not saying they're romantically involved) were fighting, laudna would have done anything imogen asked her to do. and dusk likely saw this and thought: here is someone, when she cares about people, is so vulnerable and so desperate to maintain her sense of stability in her relationships that she will do anything to fix it.

possibly, even in the face of betrayal. here is someone dusk could potentially have on their side, if laudna cares about them enough.

it's a wonderful strategic choice. and for erika, it's also a great way for them to stir the pot for the gays, even though they've already checked marisha off the list in spectacular fashion. if only imogen were more approachable...

romance brain

so, laudna's reaction. i think it was valid and heartbreaking and charming all at once. she was quite literally blindsided by dusk there, right before a conversation she had been dreading for days, so it's understandable that she wouldn't be able to really present an answer.

and that's something people don't talk about. you can get blindsided by people seeking relationships with you, but you don't owe anyone anything, especially if you're not ready.

but what i also found interesting was that laudna said: "i haven't accessed that part of my brain in 50 years" and imogen's response is "it would be strange to access that."

hello, headcanon that imogen is aromantic hehe

in all seriousness: i've been thinking lately about the expectations that have been placed on imodna since the beginning for a romantic relationship- but to me, neither of them are really built to intensely strive for that?

imogen has gone through so much with reading people's minds, hearing the awfulness of humanity, and being shunned for being who she is. the intimacy of romance, then, i feel like would feel really hard for her, because like she said about dates: "you're in their mind and you're hearing what you're doing wrong." and that's just it, isn't it?

it's hard to have a relationship (or even a friendship, as has been illustrated by her dynamics with everyone) when you know you can delve into their mind and just find out what's going on. it's hard to have a relationship when the very part that makes you you can be very off-putting and is something you always have to keep in check.

and she's heard the worst of the world, and every horrible part about romantic relationships. so perhaps i do headcanon that she's aromantic, because romance is hard and wouldn't it just make sense, if romance just doesn't click with her because she's familiar with intimacy both at its worst, and in the smallest, minute thoughts of the people around her? and to her, aren't the thoughts of friendship equally as gentle, and thoughtful, and beautiful as romance?

and then there's laudna, who is quite literally undead, and like she said, also hasn't accessed that part of her brain for 50 years, and that so much has been going on that she hasn't had time for that.

and i totally get that, too, when you're so focused on pushing forward and improving yourself and working towards better that you don't have time for romance, and the notion isn't that appealing.

that's not saying that i'll be at all upset if they do become canon (because let's be honest, the cast loves their party romances and who am i to protest amazing character moments and beautiful relationships), because i think that would also be beautiful in its own way, but i do think imogen and laudna at least won't be jumping into a relationship in the near future, for the reasons i talked about.

either way, i'm excited a) for the joy of a queer platonic relationship or b) a wonderfully delicious slow burn like you wouldn't believe.

the conversation was brilliantly played and wonderful in that it acknowledged everything that each of them had done wrong. i'm very glad that the first thing, really, imogen apologizes for was not checking in on laudna after she was controlled by delilah. she acknowledges how terrible that would have been and how scary it was and i think that is really the most important aspect of this argument to have been covered.

because, as people have pointed out in my asks (which i accidentally deleted, so sorry to that user) laudna was compromised and taken advantage of for someone else's own gain, and when she needed a friend, imogen wasn't there for her.

luckily, it seems like imogen is very aware of that fact. and i suspect that she will make every effort to be there every step of the delilah journey from here on out.

but laudna also acknowledged what imogen had been through: that breaking the rock was wrong, even if it wasn't technically her fault, and that imogen had gone through a dream alone.

i'm also glad they talked without fcg, because ultimately, it gave each of them (laudna, imogen, and fcg) the chance to get what they needed out of the conversations of that night, without feeling like they had to put on a performance for someone else, or pretend that fcg's style of therapy was working for them when in the end, it ended up being so simple.

laudna and imogen, just them, the way that everything started. and i think that's beautiful.

[ntaras]

"i wouldn’t say she answered to no one in the og timeline. she did answer to “the elders”, as she was the one commanded by them to destroy datusha but i do think it’s not the same as the misguided loyalty she shows in the new timeline. she is very submissive to the coven in the new timeline which is a trait that doesn’t suit her." - exactly ! They've made her come off so.......helpless. Meek, almost,which is very much not her. OG Nitara didn't have a singular fuck to give about anyone that wasn't her or Vaterneus. Did she answer to the elders? Yes. Did she do as she pleased regardless? Also yes.

" like would she obey them? yeah, she has and does. but she’s very blindsided and that utter loyalty seems to by why she’s not manipulative and clever anymore- she’s *just* really desperate due to that loyalty. which once again, don’t like. og nitara would never" - that's the other thing. The way that she seems to have no self-reliance at all........it's one thing to answer to a council,but it's another to be a spineless enabler as you do so. I know she grew up under the system and all, but they could have played with that a bit.

She should be more........self-aware,I guess. Maybe a case where she knows that the Coven is slowly destroying her home,but at the same time,it benefits her to play by their rules. She's loyal to her home and people,but she's also not willing to lose whatever favour and status she has with the Coven as their seeming chosen one. Let her be selfish.

Or maybe bring family dynamics into her story. What was it like for Nitara being raised by a military general like her mother? What expectations were put on her as a result of her mother being so accomplished and illustrious? Why does the Coven have such a vested interest in her? Is that due to her mother's prestige or Nitara's own achievements?

I think my main problem with this version of Nitara is the way she was bludgeoned by Dominic. At least give the woman something to do. That's all she needed. Give her a mission or purpose. Hell,bringing back the beef between her and Ashrah would have done wonders for them both in terms of development. One little scuffle in story mode is not enough. They can't stand each other as a rule,so let them fight.

i agree with pretty much everything you said. i want to believe that if nitara returns in future games they’ll perhaps delve somewhat into her growth/her character, but it’s clear she’s just some vampire lady to dominic so hopes are low.

i would actually be interested in a plot line for her where she has to battle between being champion of the people or champion of the coven- and to actually choose between survival of the people which would mean going against the coven and eventually seeking full dependence from them or staying loyal to the coven in the comfort of their rule. like there’s some path for a story for her but like i said, changes are low of doing something with her. it took reptile like 30 years to not get his ass continuously kicked + kung lao still isn’t anything but the second best. nitara isn’t getting anything for a while lol

the beef between ashrah and nitara was so minuscule and we actually SAW them interact compared to armageddon where their beef was confined to written form and yet still gave soooooo many interesting concepts. like a couple paragraphs of text told us so much about them versus getting so little with them actually speaking to each other in the new game.

[newwwwusername]

Helluva Boss - Loona & Blitzo - Mental Health Awareness Month Prompt 9 : Oppostional Defiant Disorder

Prompt : Write a fic in which a character has ODD (canon or not canon) Headcanons : Loona has ODD, C-PTSD, GAD, Bipolar II, BPD, ADHD, and Dyscalculia

When Blitzo had first adopted Loona, the person at the pound had given him a packet that included a list of diagnoses that she'd been given before being put up for adoption. He'd barely even glanced over it in the moment, because he knew that he would love her no matter what challenges she came along with. In fact, it wasn't until that night, when she was already asleep in her new bed, that he properly looked at the list.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Generalized Anxiety Disorder Bipolar II Disorder Borderline Personality Disorder Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Dyscalculia

It was, admittedly, a lot more than he'd mentally prepared himself for. He still didn't regret adopting her by any means, no. He knew he wanted to parent the girl as soon as he'd seen her, but that list was a lot bigger and more complicated than he'd thought. He was expecting depression, anxiety, PTSD, maybe a learning disability. All the other stuff blindsided him, and he knew he had to do some research.

The next morning, he was tired as ever, having stayed up all night looking into different articles and videos about ODD, Bipolar II, and BPD, alongside more light reading on the other things. When he left her room, she took in his disheveled appearance and raised an eyebrow. Blitzo just smiled at her, deciding not to tell her why he'd been up all night. He didn't want her to potentially feel guilty.

"Breakfast?"

"I'm good"

"When was the last time you ate?" he asked and she snarled.

"Jesus, dude" she snapped. "Why does it matter? I said I'm fuckin' good"

Right he thought. Oppositional Defiant Disorder

"I'm not trying to push anything on you" he said carefully. "But I am your caretaker now, and I want to make sure you're eating"

"I'm not even-" she was cut off by a growl in her stomach. Her face went bright red and Blitzo chuckled. "Fine" she caved. "I'm hungry. They didn't really..." her eyes darted around for a moment. "There's not a lot of food at... The place"

"Right, well" Blitzo stood up from the couch, cracking his back slightly. "You can either find something here, though, I'm gonna be completely honest, it's just cereal and eggs" he chuckled. "Or you can come with me and get cheap bullshit coffee and pastries from Starbucks" he offered. "Up to you"

"...Yeah I'll come with you" she sighed. "But I don't have money"

"I'm paying for you"

"Oh lit" Loona chuckled. "Okay"

Do not repost on other sites! If you want to participate in this month's challenge, there are 15 mental illness prompts that you can find here