#I think my other species like them too they like the same stuff

[fyanimaldiversity]

I’m glad you guys like Poptart! You guys are lucky my beetles are all typical colored for their species otherwise I’d spam you with pics of them too.

Anyone have any fun pics of their interesting colored/patterned/etc pets for me to look at? Even ‘normal’ types are interesting!

[nomaishuttle]

AND im super excited to add rivers and stuff :]]

[be-good-to-bugs]

having ocs is great until you have to organize them

[kaijutegu]

Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views

Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:

That is not what a happy gator looks like.

That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.

Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.

Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)

So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!

Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.

How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!

Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.

For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?

Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.

By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.

Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:

It is doing a threat display.

It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.

It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)

It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.

There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.

In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.

It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)

Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator

So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.

Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)

Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.

As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.

Why Should I Listen To You?

Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?

Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!

But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.

Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:

Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets

The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt

Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk

Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet

Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang

Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)

Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson

Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul

Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.

[starlightervarda]

I can't sleep so Star Trek TOS/SNW dashboard simulator

🪆 chekovsgunman Follow

to this day I can't understand why they're called the Three Musketeers if there's FOUR of them? Did Dumas just forget his own main character???

🪴 plantdad Follow

You've got to be kidding me

🪆 chekovsgunman Follow

I know right? A mistake like this would never happen in Russian literature!

5,324 notes

🩺 therealmccoy Follow

After months of taking care of everyone else on this giant tin can I really earned this shore leave. Now I get to drink, relax, flirt with some lovely ladies and sleep until noon 😎 Just what the the doctor ordered!

🩺 therealmccoy Follow

Update: A fucking purple tree ate five crewmen. Again.

955 notes

🖖 iamspock Follow

Despite being among humans for close to a decade, I still find their tendency to overcomplicate and avoid aspects of social situations to be confusing at best and infuriating at worst. So much time is wasted on tedious matters such as who gets to 'make the first move' or 'not come off too strong'.

For example, everyone aboard my vessel is keenly aware of Lt. Uhura and Engineer Scott's 'budding romance'. But their need to extend their oddly avoidant courtship ritual, rather than outright state their interest in one another, is pointless, as well as frustrating to witness.

Why do they do this? Why not 'get it over with', as they say?

I encourage answers from all cultures, human or otherwise.

💅 janicethemenace Follow

I'm sorry Scotty and Nyota are WHAT

💉 xtinechapel Follow

DELETE THIS

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

SPOCK NOOO HE DOESN'T THINK OF ME LIKE THAT 😭

🔧 scott-free Follow

But I do! I thought you knew and were just being nice about it!

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

DMing you rn 😳

🖖 iamspock Follow

You're welcome.

24,103 notes

🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow

PSA: If you visit Antares VII, stay clear of any yellow plants, their pollen can have some...inconvenient effects on the biology of humanoid peoples.

My XO and I suffered through troubling symptoms until it was almost too late. Thankfully, we figured out a cure in time.

🪴 plantdad Follow

I can only find info on the symptoms. What was the cure? 👀

🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow

Do I really have to say it?

6,322 notes

💊 mmmbenga Follow

The galaxy if Klingons didn't exist

⚔️ glorytotheempire Follow

Wow. Humans are openly advocating for our disappearance yet Klingons are the bad guys? I thought your federation stood for peace.

💊 mmmbenga Follow

Cry harder you genocidal wrinkly-faced bitch I hope your planet gets sucked into a black hole

#If you think a joke is on par with what they do then book an MRI because you might have brain damage #fuck Klingons and anyone that sympathizes with them

35,007 notes

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

So I can either skim through this asteroid belt on Warp 2 for 3 hrs or on Warp 5 for 15 mins

🚀 mitchiemitch Follow

Erica no! That's not how navigation works!

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

FLOOR IT???

🚀 mitchiemitch Follow

ERICA NO

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

HOW ABOUT WARP 7 FOR 15 SECONDS?

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

ERICA YOU'RE GOING TO CRASH THE SHIP

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

I AM GOING TO HARNESS LIGHT-SPEED TO ZIGZAG THROUGH THE VOID

🚀 mitchiemitch

ERICA P L E A S E

112,517 notes

🐴 sirsilverfox Follow

I know some species are very private, but you'd think they'd share the important stuff, esp when we should trust each other by now.

How are we supposed to enjoy my weekly dinners if you all don't tell me what to watch out for :/ This is the third time this happens to the same person and I had to get the answer why from our CMO

💫 numerouna Follow

Wait what did I miss while I was gone

🐴 sirsilverfox Follow

Spock got wasted on my chocolate fudge cake and hit his head on the counter ://///

2,904 notes

[bigification]

Giant

I drift away to sleep laying on the hot sand and bathing in the sunlight. I feel relaxed for a moment until I'm thrust into a nightmare. I find myself at my desk, wasting away for a job that I hate. The only reason I went on this vacation is to escape, but no matter what I do I end up back in the same place. This nightmare seems different to the rest, it's so loud. Usually all I can hear is keys tapping and clocks ticking, but now there is another noise. It's... screaming. It's getting louder and louder, the sound of people screaming.

I jolt awake. The screaming was coming from real life. I sit up and see dozens of people running away from the beach. What the hell is going on. Some part of me wants to just go back to sleep, but if this many people are running maybe I should too. I begin to grab some of my stuff and get up to leave, but I'm stopped by what feels like an earthquake. I turn to the shoreline and see a giant beast emerge from the water. It looks human, but unless my eyes deceive me, he must be at least 50 feet tall.

The beast approaches the beach, I know I should run but my body won't let me move. I also notice I'm the only one left on the beach, everyone else has run. He steps onto the beach, the closer he gets, the more I realize how massive he actually is. Soon he's standing right in front of me, and I have to look straight up just to see his face. He reaches down and grabs me, holding nearly my entire body in just one hand. I try to scream, but there's no use now, all my screams will be muffled in the beasts hand.

I can't see much, so I spend the next few minutes trashing about until I have no energy left. It doesn't seem to be making a difference anyway. After what feels like a couple of minutes, the beast stops moving. I get gently laid down on the floor, and get a chance to look around at the expansive room around me. It looks like a normal house, just massive. It makes me feel like a tiny ant. As I'm taking in the scenery, I bump into something soft. I turn to see a massive leg in front of me. My eyes drift upward to see a massive man standing in front of me, he must have been the height of the man that brought me here, just a lot fatter. I shield my eyes from the man's massive cock, and look past his round gut to see the man looking down at me.

"Watch where you're going pipsqueak!" The giant says in a deep voice. I lost my balance as his receding steps shook the ground below me.

"Don't mind him, he's always in a bad mood." The giant who brought me here kneeled down to talk to me.

"Does anyone wear clothes around here?" I ask in return.

"Were not savages, we try to if we can come across clothes large enough. I know this might seem frightening, but you and I are more similar than you think."

"Why did you even bring me here?" I say confused.

"Come, walk with me, I'll explain." He says as I start to follow him, though it takes me a few minutes to cover the ground he can in one step so he walks slow.

"My name is Yusef, by the way." The giant says.

"I'm Jack." I reply.

"A long time ago, a settlement of humans came across a forest while hunting. This forest contained food with mystical properties that provided the humans with far more energy than they needed. The humans obviously took advantage of this to prevent their people from starving. Over time, their bodies started to grow larger than that of normal humans due to the food. Eventually they became a whole new species called 'Giants'." Yusef monologues. "The only problem is that only the men of that settlement grew, the women remained normal humans. This meant that the Giants could not reproduce. So out of desperation, they would find other humans and turn them into giants to keep their species alive. We are what's left of those giants."

"So... You want to turn me into a giant?" I ask, still trying to process the entire story.

"Yes." He responds bluntly.

We both walk in silence for a moment as I process the situation.

"Ok, I want to be a giant." I say confidently.

"What? Humans usually aren't so eager." He questions.

"My life back home sucked, I have nothing , I have no one. At least here I'll have something."

He smiled before pointing to the room beside us. "This is the most recent giant before you, Antony." Yusef points to a man sleeping on the couch.

"He's been asleep for a while now. The last feast really took a toll on him." He states.

"Feast?" I ask.

"You need a lot of calories when your body is that big, so we fatten up the Giants as much as we can."

"Well what about you, you're not fat."

"I stay fit because I am the one who has to get new giants like you, I need to be a bit more nimble than the average giant. For the rest of us, it's better to keep a hefty store of energy. You should have seen Antony here when he was human. He was built like me, big shoulders and skinny waist, washboard abs. He's only been here three days and now look at him."

As he's talking, I look down at my own body. Now I'm no Yusef, but I've worked hard for my body. Maybe I could be like Yusef and stay skinny. As I'm thinking, I notice Antony's hand move. "Are you sure he's asleep, his hand is moving." I ask.

"Oh he's asleep, he's just getting used to having the sex drive of a giant." He responds.

I notice that his hand is moving back and forth over his dick. "That kinda sucks for a species that can't reproduce." I say.

"It's not so bad, we like to have fun with it." Yusef turns to another giant and winks at him. "Lookin good Pete!" He shouts at the giant. Pete looks back and smiles before going back to checking himself out in the mirror.

I fall silent again, coming to another realization. I didn't think about it before but, if there are only male giants, then who do they fuck. Well I just got my answer, they fuck eachother. What do I do if I'm not gay. I mean with the amount of men they turn into giants, there's no way I'm the first straight guy they get. Maybe they just get so bored that they fuck eachother because there's nothing else to do. It's no big deal, I could just not have sex, it's like I was having much sex back home either. Besides, I'm sure they still have porn here, I won't be completely out of luck.

"And we've made it." Yusef says as he stops and turns to me. "This is where you become a giant."

I look around the empty room. "Why this room?"

"It's empty because the transformation can be quite jarring, so it is safe to be in an empty room."

"Jarring?" I ask, concerned.

"Well we'll give you a concentrated version of the food from the mystical forest I mentioned earlier. It speeds up the transformation to happen in mere minutes rather than months. Not all parts of the body grow at the same pace."

Before I can even process, Yusef grabs me and shoves a large green pellet into my mouth. "Swallow." He states. I swallow it, trying to ignore the disgusting taste.

It doesn't take long for the food to take its effect, and it's not subtle. It starts with my arms. My biceps become massive, growing larger than my head. Next to transform was unfortunately my dick. The pressure in my pants builds until they burst open, leaving me naked. My dick quickly grows out of proportion with my body, growing to the point that it hits the ground. It is even thicker than my legs, making me look like I have a third leg.

"I told you it could be jarring." Yusef said with a slight smirk on his face.

"Don't fucking look." I yell out.

"Oh don't be so uptight, I'm just enjoying the show." He laughs.

I can feel myself growing tall as my perspective gets higher and higher. Soon I can feel my ass grow massive as my stomach grows into a muscle gut, making it hard to keep my balance. The next few minutes are completely insane as different parts of my body grow out of proportion. Soon enough, I see that my eyes are at about the same height as Yusefs, meaning the transformation must be over soon. I finally feel the transformation stop as I'm a few feet taller than Yusef. I'm completely naked, tired, and my body is covered in sweat.

"Here dry off." Yusef throws me a towel. "Oh, and I'm glad you're happy to see me." He winks at me before looking down at my crotch. I look down and see that my dick is fully hard, sticking straight out. I jump and cover my crotch, he just chuckles and walks away.

I dry up and walk out of the room where I find a pair of cargo pants. I slip them on and they fit surprisingly well, I try my best to tuck my boner into the waist of the shorts, but it's not doing much to hide it. I walk around, getting used to the way my body moves. It's much harder to move at the same pace I did before, everything is so heavy that it takes more effort to start and stop moving. And it feels like the air is holding me back, almost like walking in water.

I make my way to the balcony and sit down. The view is quite beautiful from here. In one direction there is a lush swamp and the other is a forest. It's weird that the trees look so small, the tallest ones look like they would barely reach my waist. As I'm enjoying the view, Yusef approaches me. As he's talking to me, it's going in one ear and going right out the other.

"My eyes are up here buddy." He says, snapping me back to reality where I notice I was staring at his chest. I look up and make eye contact with him.

"Have this." He hands me what looks like a phone. "It's a smart tv. Jerry's quite good with electronics and whipped up some phones made from old smart TV's."

"Thanks." I say as I hold the tiny tv in my hand.

"It can do basically anything a phone can other than texting, but we use WhatsApp anyway." He says before turning and walking away. I catch myself staring at him as he walks away, but quickly turn my focus to my new phone. It feels just like a phone, with a touch screen and everything. It has a few apps installed, including twitter and it gives me an idea. I log into my account and scroll through the porn I had saved on it. I scroll and scroll, but I feel nothing. Not until I get to a clip I had saved from pornhub. That got me going. My legs tensed and my dick pulsed. Within seconds I shot my load into my new cargo shorts. As I continue to watch, I notice something. I haven't looked at the woman in this clip once, I have been fixed on the man the entire time. But I've never been gay. I scroll through the many videos and images of women on my twitter and I still feel nothing. Out of curiosity I decide to search for pictures of men. Who's a guy everyone seems to like, oh Chris Evans. I search him up and go to photos. Oh my god. My stomach sinks and my dick rises the instant I look at the photo. What happened to me? I look at all the half naked Giants that walk past the balcony, and it confirms the way I feel. Even weirder is my fixation on their fat. I can't stop staring at their guts and they man tits, or their asses as they walk by. Suddenly the thought of growing like the rest of the Giants doesn't seem so bad.

"You okay?" I'm interrupted by Yusef.

"Ya I'm fine." I try to cover the stain in my shorts.

"Well that didn't take you long." He chuckles, "There is someone you need to meet.

"Oh ya sure." I say while paying no attention to what he is saying. The pecs on that man are unreal, how does a man get pecs that large.

I follow Yusef to what looks like the kitchen and he sits me down. "This is Saul." Yusef says as a man in a bathrobe approaches me. He leans over the table in front of me and gets a closer look at me. He looks older, with salt and pepper hair and wrinkled skin. His robe is loosely tied, letting his hairy gut spill out and allowing me to see his soft chest.

"You always bring me the skinniest ones." Saul says. His eyes drift up and down my body as he pokes and grabs me. "I know exactly what you could use." He says as he walks into the pantry.

"What is he doing." I ask Yusef.

"He's our cook. Just eat whatever he gives you, he has been cooking for us for hundreds of years, so he knows what he's doing." He responds.

"Hundreds of years!?" I yell out in shock.

"Oh ya, I forgot to mention that. We live for centuries, and the food he gives you is essential to that."

Saul comes back with a full platter of food and places it in front of me. "Eat." He tells me as he stands there and watches. I think back to when I was sitting on the balcony, watching all of the fatass giants walking by. I want that. I started stuffing my mouth with all the food on the platter he gave me. His food tasted amazing. You'd think I was starving with the way I was ravaging this food. Before I knew it, the platter was empty. I lean back and pat my bloated stomach with one hand and rub my crotch with the other.

"I like this one." Saul says before running off to the pantry again.

"That was so good." I turn to Yusef.

"Good, there's a lot more to come. You may think you're full, but you can fit a lot more food in you than you think." He responds.

Rounds and rounds of food go by, and I just keep going. I don't even know how long it's been, I just keep eating. I eventually lean back in my chair, defeated. My eyes start to close as I fall asleep.

"He's eaten the most out of any giant I have even seen." I hear Saul say as I'm passing out

"You think he's gonna be bigger than Grant?" Yusef responds.

"Much bigger." Is the last thing I hear before passing out.

- Many days later -

"This is the giant before you." Yusef says.

"Am I gonna be that fat." I hear from an unfamiliar voice.

"No he's the biggest we've ever seen."

I slowly open my eyes and try to lean up, but I feel like I'm being held down. I look down and see a massive mound of fat. Wait, that's me, that's my stomach. I reach out my hands and see the fat sagging in my arms. I cup my pecs in my thick hands, though I'm not sure you could call them pecs anymore. They're so fat that they sag onto my stomach. Speaking of my stomach, I grab it, sending ripples through my body. I can feel it spilling out onto my legs.

"Jack, you're finally awake." Yusef says. "This is our soon to be giant."

I sit up as far as I can and look down at the tiny human. I can't help but wonder what I look like from his perspective.

Once they leave, Antony approaches me.

"Damn you got fat." I say to him. Since the last time I saw him sleeping on the couch, he's gained a ton of weight. His modest belly turned into a full blown beer gut and his pecs are now soft man tits like mine.

"Coming from you fatass." He laughs at me. "You're the biggest slab of meat we've ever seen."

He continues to approach me, and I can see his bulge grow in his tight ass jeans.

"All the Giants here are so boring, they never want to fuck. But I know you feel different, don't you." He sits on my lap, spreading his legs around mine and resting our guts against each other. "Think about what we looked like just a week ago. Strong, with big biceps and washboard abs, now look what they've done to us." He almost moans while saying it. "Isn't it so hot." He pushes me into my back, making me feel the full weight of my own body pinning me down. He starts kissing my chest, sucking on my new fat. He kisses down my hulking gut, leaving a trail of hickies. He lifts up my belly and sticks his head underneath, he pushes my fat pad and wraps his lips around my dick. I let out a loud moan, slightly embarrassed when I realize everyone in the house could hear that. It doesn't matter, I turn my attention back to Antony. My knees buckle from the pleasure as I hold his head against my crotch. I let out another loud moan as I pump my load into his mouth. He looks up at me, "my turn." He says with his mouth dripping with cum. He spreads my legs and sticks his dick inside me. My body almost repels at the feeling, but I quickly accept it. I never thought something up my ass could feel so good. He starts to speed up, becoming more and more aggressive. I can see the ripples run through the fat in our bodies and I can hear the couch groan under our combined weight. It doesn't take long for a warm feeling to fill my insides. Antony lets out a satisfied sigh as he sits back onto the couch.

"You know I was kinda scared about this whole 'becoming a giant' thing, but now I'm a lot more excited." He says as he rests his hand on his gut. "You know being a fat ass is a lot better than I thought it would be."

I chuckle, "ya it ain't so bad is it." I lay back on the couch and relax, having no worries to stress me out.

[budbuddnbuddy]

Little obey me headcanons (pt 5)

A/n: God it’s been a while since I put out one of these things. Apologies yall, finals are terrifying but thankfully I passed all my classes, so yay! Anyways same thing as usual, though this one is mostly world building, so enjoy!

MC has an entire kitchen in their room. Bit weird to think of yes, but I just saw the dinning table in their room and the stuff behind it and it was the first thing that came to mind, the whole room is basically like an apartment but it’s no where near as big as the other brothers rooms. Also did you know that they had an entire kettle in their room???

Okay maybes it’s not a kettle more like a tea pot but you get the point, MC kitchen in room canon./hj

Mammon is infact not above stealing your stuff, has he sold any of it? No. Will you ever be getting it back? Also no. It’s been 4 years Mammon, MC wants their hoodie back.

RAD is basically the Harvard of the Devildom, of course there are other Ivy League schools throughout the realm, all ranked high in various categories and filled with various species, but if you really want to be a high ranking deadly demon then going to RAD is practically an requirement.

If you ever watched Steven Universe, you’d know that Garnet can give kisses that let you see into the future for a brief period of time. Barbatos can basically do the same thing, and can choose the amount of time that it lasts for, ranging from 3 hours to 4 days.

However it’s been MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of years since he’s done this and he’s never told anyone about it besides Diavolo, well until you of course. Just keep it a secret between the 3 of you all, will you?

Demon possession is in fact real, it’s sort of like a fucked up version of fusion, all the abilities and talents that you have can be accessed by your possessor, the strength that the two of you have is combined since like 93% of humans have no magic and it’s deadly wether you’re a human or a demon them punches are going to hit hard. Sloth demons are mainly the ones who have this ability.

If you ever get so lucky to the point where you get to me any of the Royals you MUST kiss their hand, it’s considered extremely rude and informal not to do so, doesn’t matter if it’s a woman, man, or a being with no hands at all and just a bunch of tentacles. You better find a way to kiss that damn hand. MC finds out about this by pure accident.

“Ah- Lord Diavolo, I’m sorry I didn’t even realize you were there.”

“Haha, no worries! It’s not common for most to not recognize me when I’m in the room!”

“Here, allow me to make it up to you…” *Smooch*

“…”

Typically Diavolo is very neutral when it comes to formal greetings since he technically gets them like every week but there was something about it being you giving him kisses on his hand that make him feel “butterflies in his stomach” as humans say.

Ever since then he’s demanded that you give him hand kisses every time you swag by the the Demon King’s castle, with a blush on his face of course.

There’s a three headed version of almost everything in the Devildom, it’s not just Cerberus, there’s three headed butterflies, cats, raccoons, rats (much to Barbatos dismay), and of course demons. No one knows exactly why, but most speculate it probably has something to do with the air.

No one is letting you die, there’s too many things that they want from you, too many things they want to give you, yet so little time to do so. You can scream at them, hate them forever, never talk to them again, but please for the love of god. Just don’t die.

[thewarmblanket]

My thoughts on tsalnu

"Tsalnu" is a baby pod in which, as stated in early draft of Avatar the Way of Water script, na'vi women give birth to their babies. It described as "a beautiful translucent chrysalis" and kind of works as an amniotic sac outside of the womb, connected to the mother through tsaheylu. We don't actually have any details on how it works and looks like since the existence of tsalnu hasn't yet been confirmed canon.

A lot of fans was not fascinated by this concept and wished that na'vi would be giving birth "normally" like humans. In this topic I'm a minority, because I think tsalnu is kind of cool. And before I tell you why, I think... they still need to work on this concept because it's still a little weird and maybe if it looked more pretty then more people would like it? (Well, they liked pinkish worm-like wiggly tendrils in kuru so why wouldn't they? Ke tslolam) And now let's get to the point!

Why I think it's cool?

I'm surprised I never saw anyone stating that, but it's actually pretty cool and useful evolutional mechanism. Yeah it maybe looks weird, but I'm just reminding you that na'vi are alien species that had their own evolutional journey and wasn't created by anyone artificially and they are too part or the Pandoran alien ecosystem. So why is it cool? You know how human women needed to grow their pelvic bone wider, so that our giant big brain babies could be born? And it's still freaking painful to give birth? And if it wasn't for our science and medicine women would massively die from bleeding out and all this stuff? Well, na'vi do not have this problem, they have chrysalis.

Chrysalis allows to give birth to a much smaller baby that will come out more easily, which is a lot safer for the mother. And then she can keep nourishing her baby just fine outside of the womb until it's strong enough. Just like a kangaroo 🦘. And when baby is hatching out of it's tsalnu it's already big and strong enough to hold it's own head. Human newborns require constant attention and care from it's parents and are a lot more vulnerable at this period of time. When na'vi babies are out of their tsalnu parents can carry them around in a sling while doing their chores, fishing or gathering fruits and not worry about anything.

Just my ramblings

I've been thinking a lot on how female na'vi reproductive system works and this just bother me so much. They are non-placental, so... maybe tsalnu is a something like an egg? Egg AND amniotic sac at the same time. Somehow. Gosh I need this natgeo documentary to come out as fast as it can I have so many questions 😫😫😫

Like, is it that only mother can nourish baby in tsalnu? Or anyone can? Everyone has kuru... If only mother can, I suppose that na'vi can give birth only to one child at the time since they only have one kuru, or, if anyone can, then we can't have an exact number.. But I'd say two at max, so that both parents would be carrying tsalnu around.

I still have a lot of ideas on na'vi birth, like how it works for other animals and how they developed their own ways of taking care of tsalnu, make illustrations of how tsalnu looks like in everyday na'vi life, mating and breeding cycles, this is so interesting!!! I wanna ask my friend that is studying at med university how she thinks it all works I feel so nerdy fuck oof *catching my breath*

@annestea 👋👋

[donelywell]

I love your at so much!! It’s so soft! But what do you mean by ‘Hedgefox’? You mentioned it a couple of times but there’s no explanation on the page?

Thank you! And I'm glad you asked! >:D (I'm basically waiting for people to ask for this stuff, or else I'm just gonna hold it until I eventually post it way later down the line)

The HedgeFox is this AU's equivalent of the Werehog, but since wolves are HUGE, I changed the species to a Werefox (plus Sonic and Tails being the same species is an adorable bonus).

He wasn't cursed by Dark Gaia when the world split apart, he was just born a were-being.

(super rough idea of what the different moons do to his appearance)

I go on a super babble-fest, so there's an entire rant below the cut.

When a Super Moon (3-4 times a year) appears, Sonic's HedgeFox form increases from 56 cm to 65 cm to reflect the roughly 14% increase the moon appears to be then and becomes 'super charged' in a sense.

He becomes super paranoid and overstimulated when it's a Super Moon, thinking goes into more primal instincts, with him calling Tails his 'cub' even.

A Super Moon to a were-being in this universe is a nightmare, but it gives you plenty of time to realize what's about to happen so you can find a spot to hide (kind of to protect others, but mostly to protect yourself from the sensory overload you're about to face).

The cycle of a Full moon takes place in normally 3 nights in a row once a month.

Night 1, Transform. Day 1, Revert to normal. Night 2, Transform. Day 2, Revert to normal. Night 3, Transform. Day 3, Revert to normal until next full moon cycle.

But for a Super Moon, it goes a little differently.

Night 1, Transform. Day 1, Stay in form. Night 2, Super Moon Further Transform. Day 2, Revert to Normal Full Moon Form. Night 3, Stay in form. Day 3, Finally Revert normal until next full moon cycle.

Yep, they remain in the Full Moon form even during the day when it's a Super Moon, it saves them energy from going straight from their base form to their Super Moon form.

Their power is basically doubled on a Super Moon, but that just leads to them being incredibly paranoid that they'll harm someone they care about by accident.

During a Super Moon, Sonic cannot release Tails. He seriously tries, knowing that he's being overprotective, but his mind is too clouded with worry that he can't even begin to fight it (not really that Tails minds, it does though worry him that his dad is going through so much in his mind and all he can do to help is just be in his arms). After Knuckles joins the party, they learn that he can finally release Tails if Knuckles is nearby, but he still has to keep a sharp eye on the kit.

A Micro Moon is a lot more simple. Due to how far the moon is, they can actually choose whether or not to transform into the were-being, but it's 14% smaller and half as strong as normal.

Ehem- uh, sorry for the rambling. I really like the Werehog and well, since this is my AU, I can make it stay. >:) It probably doesn't make any sense, sorry about that.

[onejellyfishplease]

BEHOLD! my new TMNT iteration!

tmnt: Strained Eyes

In this iteration, much like rottmnt, all of the turtles have super powers. however, there is a little catch. while the rottmnt turtle's powers suit their soul, Strained Eye's turtles... don't.

(please ignore the fact that Mikey doesnt really look like a spotted pond turtle, i came up with the design first and had to find a turtle species second)

So! Mikeys powers basically allow him to cause every thing he touches to rot/decompose/desintergrate. he does have some control, but not reliably.

And though he is a good cook, there is a 50/50 chance that you will end up eating mouldy/rotten food. but all the other times it will be delicious.

he (obviously) has insecurities about touch, he is very aware that he could very easily kill someone with just one touch.

he can also grow mushrooms on command -he can also grow them on his shell which freaks out his brothers a lot.

also hes not actually blind in one eye! its mostly just cosmetic.

Up next we have Donnie! compared to Mieky hes a very brightly coloured boy!

his power is illusions! they can be incredibly lifelike. the problem is, These illusions can be permanent if Donnie doesnt dispel them, and sometimes are summoned only by his subconscious. So Donnie can struggle with figuring out if something is real or not.

The only senses his illusions cannot mimic are touch and smell (and taste) so he is usually extremely tactile, holding onto his brothers to assure himself that theyre real and not just a projection of his mind. he covers a lot of stuff in his lab (and his brothers) with strong smelling perfumes as well.

application wise- he uses his powers in tandem with his machines to make incredibly realistic looking androids. example: robot cat that looks like real cat. robot dragon that looks like REAL dragon, etc etc. he can also use them to appear human and turn invisible. (he can expand this to all his brothers) but he still hasnt gotten down the art of human expressions, so when ever he appears human he looks quite uncanny when he talks.

It's Leo!!

now Leo is ~battery powered~ his powers basically allow him to absorb energy straight from the source, such as absorbing the electricity off of an electric wire, or even sucking the energy from a person. or eating batteries.

an unfortunate side affect (depending on how you look at it) is that Leo doesnt need to sleep. ever. as long as he keeps absorbing energy then he's completely fine! and the more electricity/energy he absorbs the faster/stronger he gets! he also thinks faster! coming up with excellent strategies on the fly!

however- the same is true of the other way around, when Leo runs out of energy (which he does often- hes VERY bad at judging how much he has left) he will start to get more lethargic, his cognitive funtions will slow down and his short term memory will start to degrade.

If he completly runs out of energy his heart stops and he dies.

but dont worry! you just need to zap him with more energy and hell get right back up again (Donnie has a defibrillator just for Leo). though its best not to leave him in that state for long. because like that he is still functionally a dead body.

And finally we have Raph!

Raph breaths fire. a very simple power, in fact he can even hold his breath for hours apon end and his skin is extremely tough! theres basically no side effects too!

Hes so lucky compared to his brothers, having a power that suits him perfectly and doesnt mess him up in the head.

because of this, Raph has kinda moulded himself into the hyper aggressive mom friend, making sure they dont all run themselves into the ground because of the drawbacks to their powers.

he still has anger issues too <3

[splitster]

answering asks? more likely than you think

i have a feeling it wouldn't go too well... although, to an outsider, a mamuta smacking pom because she's a threat to the flowers would look the exact same as a mamuta smacking pom because its trying to bury her so she can grow, so i don't think any of the other officers would see anything suspect about the interaction

↓ more under the cut!! ↓

HELL YEAHHHHH absolutely I will always draw more Pingo! if you ever have pingo suggestions/requests/questions, my inbox is always open💖

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! WAHHH i do my best when it comes to characterizations... I try to make them all unique and interesting lol

heh... the Dingo enjoyer pipeline... heh....

THIS is a really good question. at the beginning, she doesn't necessarily resent who she is -- she just subconsciously wants for a place to belong, and for people to fit in amongst. she absolutely recognizes she's different but she doesn't fault herself for that, she just focuses on trying to fit in

now, as time passes and she comes to understand people more, her stance might change -- especially if she manages to spend time with people she cares about and makes friends, but ends up getting ousted or otherwise ostracized. at that point, she might idly wish she was someone else.

for the most part though being a wraith is something she doesn't dwell on, it's just a part of her that she accepts without thinking.

this is wonderful news. spread the Dick "Dingo" Ringo truth.

AHH THANK YOU!!! i am continuously floored by the support i receive for both the pom wraith AU and for pingo... i'm very touched that so many people have enjoyed my silly AU, and i'm happy that people like the silly pairing that ended up spawning from it 💖

AUUUGHH this is the pain of answering asks super late... anon if you see this i hope you enjoyed the pom x collin x dingo pics i posted a while back. i will most likely make more in the future too because i think they're cute

collin is the only normal rescue corps officer. he's SOOO normal in comparison so unfortunately it falls to him to be the voice of reason more times than not

YOURE SO RIGHT. it's hard when your coworker is an alien species you know literally nothing about... pom will be fine, she can heal pretty big cracks in her core as long as she stays fed and rests💖

AHHH THANK YOU!! (im assuming you mean collin) i think hes very neat. im picking him up and squeezing him like a stress toy

AUUGHH THANK YOU!! WAH....💖

THANK YALL FOR ALL THE ASKS!!! i try to read each and every one (even if i can't respond to all of them), and i really appreciate all the support and the interesting questions and prompts!! it means the world to me that so many people wanna engage with the stuff i make💖💖

i will continue getting through asks... slowly...

[trollpostings]

Kicking my feet writing on my trolls blog with a glitter pen. I think that the putt putt trolls have sharper teeth and claws and stuff and are generally more "wild" than most other trolls because of the, gestures, 20 years of isolation. And their food is not their size!!! The food they eat is not their size!!! They're tearing into that stuff! They're eating burger patties that probably feed like ten people at once!

I am a huge lover of the "trolls are an adaptive species" headcanon. I also like big chonky teeth and claws in character design. So I'm combining those. Also I noticed that most, if not all, of the putt-putt trolls are monochromatic except for Viva! Clay too, to an extent. Can we talk about the fact that he's gone so far to change himself that his literal skin has shifted from bright blue to a teal color? Anyway, I think putt-putt trolls are like, chameleon sort of trolls. They can change colors instantly in order to camouflage.

They also don't seem to be eating the same sort of berries and fruits and vegetables that the Pop trolls are used to. Points at the burger patties again. They're eating meat. They're mostly eating meat. And yeah I know that there's troll sized burgers in canon, but we mostly only see that in Lonesome Flats, and I'm talking about Pop trolls right now. Pop trolls are not shown eating meat very often. To go from a mostly vegetable/fruit diet to a mostly meat diet (with like, the fries and shakes too, of course) in a very sudden shift can make a person very sick and mess with their body, which is why when people change diets, they do so in small increments. For body and health safety.

Also I don't think they're cooking the Putt Putt course food super often. For safety. Smell travels. Look at how fast Bridget and Gristle found them after they'd made food hours earlier! They're definitely not taking that risk often. Viva did say it was for celebration. They're probably eating that stuff frozen

There's a lot going on in this post, but the main big point is. Putt Putt trolls likely had a massive sudden shift in literal physiology and biology. Such as quicker color shifting, camouflage, sharper teeth made for eating meat and pointier claws for meat as well. I also said this in an earlier post but I do think they move silently. You will not see them unless they want you to, and that's literally canon (when the group firsts enters, when Clay literally disappears between frames to get to the gate, when Bridget and Gristle get to the putt putt course, ect).

[reashot]

Red means Stop, Green means Go and Yellow means you can ride on Blondie. 🚦

Jaune: it's so great that you decided to stay here with us forever Jessica.

Ruby: Jess are you sure you're making the right decision? After all you're leaving everything you ever knew behind.

Jessica: Oh it's not really a big deal. I mean there's already like, what? ten Green Lanterns already. They won't notice one missing.

Meanwhile on OA...

Tomar-Re: Okay, are all the Green Lanterns from Earth already in attendance and counted for?

Hal Jordan: Here!

Guy Gardner: The one and only.

Kyle Rayner: Present!

John Stewart: Attention!

Simon Baz: Ready.

Jo Mullein: Let's get it started already!

Kilowog: Wait! We're missing one poozer.

Tomar-Re: Who are we missing?

Guy: Who knows? There's so many Green Lanterns from Earth that it's hard to keep track of... And while we at it. I'm not a geo/space-political egghead or anything like that, but don't you think it's kinda messed up that Earth is overly represented in the Green Lantern Corp. Compared to other planets?

Kyle: I hate to admit this, but Guy here have a point. Why do we have so many Green Lanterns from Earth anyway? Heck! I got to be one and all I had to do is be in the right place in the right time.

Hal: Huh? You know I never thought about it like that. And this kind of put all the Alien attacks we had into a new perspective. Do you think they attacked us because we have too many influence in galactic affairs? I mean Green Lantern aside there's too many notable humans in Galaxy despite us not being a space faring species.

Jo: This is definitely gonna make my assignment to the Far Sector a lot more problematic. I'm in the same boat as Kyle I was personally recruited by the Guardian in a club. I don't think that's normally how you get the ring.

John: What the heck with there's more humans in the Lantern Corp. Has to do with anything? All of us are Green Lanterns now and there's no changing that. Whether the ring chose us or the Guardians did, matters little, we still have the responsibility of a Lantern. And I don't think they are wrong in making their choices.

Simon: You said it John. You said it... Argus you getting any of this?

Meanwhile at Argus...

Amanda Waller: We hear you loud and clear Agent Baz. Make sure you keep them talking as much as you can. We need as much info as we can get from this glow in the dark clowns. Junior! Keep giving me constant updates on the Green Lanterns situation. You got that?

Gordon Junior: Yes mrs. Waller. We will monitor the situation as best as we can.

Amanda: It better be, for your sake too.

Returning back to OA...

Simon: While we wait for Jessica. How about we all talk about Green Lantern stuffs. Seeing we probably missed a lot by not being here. Preferably as loud and clear as you can...

Hal: Who's Jessica?

Simon: Ha, ha, ha, nice joke Hal. How could you forget about Jessica?

Jo: No. Seriously who's Jessica. This is the first time I ever heard of her?

Simon: I know you're new and all but that doesn't excuse for not knowing your fellow Green Lantern.

John: I don't know what you're talking about Simon? But there is no Green Lantern named Jessica.

Simon: Then which Green Lantern are we waiting for?

Guy: We're waiting for Keli Quintela. Who else are waiting for Baz?

Simon: A-am I losing my mind here. How could everyone in here forgot about Jessica Cruz?

Kilowog: Who the heck is Jessica Cruz?...

Simon: Not you too! You know Jessica. She's the... Eh, the.. Why can't I remember her?

And finally back on Remnant

Jessica: I'm sure it's fine...

Jaune: Well if you said so Jess... And Jess thank you again for choosing to stay with us. *hugs her*

Jessica: Oh Jaune... Now I know I'm making the right choice. After meeting you I can't imagine myself without you. You are everything to me Jaune...

Jaune: Jess...

Ruby: *grind teeth*

Jaune: Then we have to celebrate. I'll make a reservation at my favorite restaurant. And maybe afterward I can show you around the place.

Jessica: That would be lovely Jaune. And I think any place would be great as long as I am with you...

Jaune: *blush* Y-you do? Then I better go and make my reservation. Ruby can you keep Jess company while I'm out. Okay thank you, bye...

Jess: *blush* He's so thoughtful... 💕

Ruby: So you done trying to steal my man? 😡

Jessica: N-no I wouldn't dream of it Ms. Rose... He-he is way out of my league. With him being so tall, handsome, blonde... Oh I'm just making it worse for me, am I?

Ruby: *sigh* Look Jess it's not that I don't know where you're coming from but I love Jaune too and I have no intention of giving him up.

Jessica: I know that. Ms. Rose but I love him so much. If I met him first like you do I won't give him up. But I have no intention of stealing him away from you. I-I just want to be close to him that's all. Being with him makes me feel safe and loved. I feel I can be a better version of myself just by being with him... *tearing up*

Ruby: Oh Jess... *comforts her* You're just like me. Before me there was another girl named Pyhrra. Just like you I pretend I didn't want to steal him from her. But deep down I wanted him for myself.

Jessica: Pyhrra... Is that the red headed girl I met before right?

Ruby: Yes. But she died a while ago and Jaune loved her dearly. He was devastated by her death... And Jess if you decide to go after Jaune, I will allow it.

Jessica: Really?!

Ruby: On strict conditions of course. That I Ruby Rose will remain his number one girlfriend and you need to ask my permission first to go on a date with him and for other things to.

Jessica: O-of course I will always ask for your permission beforehand and I will never break your trust. (Yes. I can be with Jaune.)

Ruby: Oh, very well then. I Ruby Rose will allow you to go on a date. But make sure to keep it PG-13. Or else.

Jessica: Yes, of course. I will make sure to bring him home before midnight.

Jaune: Hey you two. I hope you haven't been waiting too long. So what are you talking about?

Ruby: Oh we're just talking about girls stuffs you know... Anyway, enough about us. Where are you taking Jess to on your first date together?

Jaune: I-it's not a date Ruby. I'm just showing her around her new home that's all. And Jess how do you feel about French food is it okay with you?

Jessica: I love it Jaune...

Ruby: Remember keep it PG-13 or I'm gunning for you Jess.

If anyone ask why do the DC characters suddenly can't remember anything about Jessica. Well that's just the price for abandoning your own reality unfortunately. I'm sure it's nothing...

[irkimatsu]

AHHHHHH I love Husk and your content is by far my FAVORITE 😍 the sweet, the smut, the little bit of both...I love it all.

So I have a cute idea for this one. Neko!reader x husk. The reader isn't fully cat, but has the ears and tail, a cat-like face and of course the mannerisms. Husk is crushing hard and thinks that she (or they, whichever pronouns :) ) is cute and nonchalantly points out that it's adorable when her ears twitch. And then she's like, "And you wonder why we're always messing with you, eyy Kitten?" which makes him all flustered and he can't even say anything.

I can just picture them doing the equivalent of holding hands only their tails wrapped around each other 😚😚

Thank you so much for enjoying my writing!

I envisioned Reader as an anthro like Husk; I'm hoping that's what you meant with your description! Reader gets drunk and rants to Husk about cat instincts, Husk offers some advice, light flirting and flustered Husk ensues. I hope this is close enough to what you wanted! 1.2k words, SFW, female reader!

---

You’ve had way too much to drink.

It’s not like you’re inexperienced at drinking; you knew the hard stuff you were knocking back would be enough to get you wasted. That was the point.  Maybe if you got drunk enough, you could shut off the stupid cat instincts that hadn’t left you alone since the moment you died. The exercises you’ve been doing at this hotel for the past few months may have taught you things like not stealing and believing in the power of friendship, but there hadn’t yet been any lessons on how to stop swiping at your own tail every time it entered the corner of your field of vision.

You’re not sure if the alcohol has turned off the instincts, but it sure has turned on your mouth. Without thinking about what you’re saying, you’ve been ranting to the bartender for the past thirty minutes, barely pausing to take a breath. Surely he doesn’t mind, right? Not only are bartenders supposed to listen when their customers want to bitch, but he’s in the exact same position as you are as far as species goes!

“...and the fuckin’ hairballs!” is the latest thought in your stream of word vomit. “I thought mucus was bad! Hairballs! They get stuck in my throat, and they itch like hell until I can cough ‘em up!”

“They sell stuff down here to take care of that,” the bartender says, pouring you another drink without you asking. “It tastes like shit, but it works. I don’t get ‘em anymore unless I forget to drink it.”

“And what about shedding?!” you continue on as if he didn’t say anything. “It’s impossible to keep my room clean! It’s like the more I clean up, the more fur there is!”

“Niffty’s been helpin’ me with that since I met her. She gets pissed about the fur I leave everywhere otherwise. She ain’t gentle with that brush, though.”

You take another gulp of your drink and slam it down onto the bar. “Fuck, think I just swallowed some fur…”

“You haven’t even been dead for a year yet, right?” Husk asks. “ That’s barely anything. Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to get used to being a cat. Some of the bullshit never goes away, but it becomes part of you.”

“Do you like being a cat?” you ask.

He laughs at your question. “Hell no! But what choice do I have? There’s no going back to bein’ human for any of us. May as well learn how to deal with it.” He takes a gulp of his own drink, not even bothering to pour it into a glass. “If ya want, I can take you to a good supply place sometime. They’ve got good products if you can put up with the fact that it looks like a fuckin’ pet store.”

“Hmm…” you neither accept nor deny his offer. You only take another drink, swallowing more damn fur in the process. That’s definitely gonna lead to some late-night hairballs. “It’s so annoying…” you whine as you plop your chin on the bar. “Why couldn’t I have been something cool? You know I saw a giant lizard the other day? Lucky bastard…”

“Bet they have a hell of a time findin’ clothes,” he says. “Or even gettin’ into places to begin with.”

“And even you got wings…” you continue on.

“Yeah. Wings. I get to clean up after fur and feathers, and if I don’t find the perfect position while sleeping the fuckin’ things go numb.” He takes your glass away, but you’re too lost in your own self-pity to protest. “We’ve all gotta get used to our new bodies when we get down here, and I doubt it’d be any different if we somehow got into heaven. Just gotta make the best of it.” He turns around to put away some bottles. “Besides, it’s not all bad. At least you’re cute.”

“...what was that?” you say, not expecting that word out of Husk’s mouth.

“I said you’re cute. Everyone thinks cats are cute, don’t they? Even I liked ‘em when I was alive. I don’t want to be one, but you can’t resist their mannerisms, can ya? The big eyes, the soft fur…”

He turns around just in time to see your right ear flicking in annoyance from the condescension. “The twitchy ears…”

You smirk, knowing the weight of what you’re about to say next but too drunk to stop yourself. “So now you get why Angel and I are always commenting on your mannerisms, eh, kitty?”

“Whoa! Hey!” His fur bristles, and you know you shouldn’t find his own agitation cute, but you can’t help yourself. It helps you understand the way he was just talking to you, at least. “That’s different! You’re a young lady! You died at, what, 25? You’re supposed to be cute! I’m an old man who drank myself to death. Nothin’ cute about that.”

“You’ve still got the big eyes and the soft fur…” you continue on.

He groans in response. “If you were a stranger saying that shit to me, I’d kill you.”

“So what makes me so special?” Your tail waves playfully behind you, and he’s obviously following it with his eyes and blushing.

“I…” he starts, but never manages to come up with the rest of the sentence. “Jesus Christ,” is all he has to offer before grabbing a couple of glasses from the shelf. He fills them both with water, then carries them around to the other side of the bar.

“Here,” he says as he sets one of the glasses in front of you. “Drink this. You’re gonna feel like shit in the morning. May as well not be dehydrated on top of everything else.”

You stare at the cup as he takes a seat on the stool next to you. “How do you resist the urge to knock cups over?” you ask.

“Lots of self-control,” he says with a smirk before guzzling his glass in one go.

You place your paw on the side of the glass, originally intending to pick it up, but an overwhelming spark takes over your brain, and you start easing the cup toward the edge of the bar. Husk grabs it and places it back where it started before it can crash to the floor.

“You’ll get used to it,” he assures you. He’s finished his water, but for a reason you can’t determine, he’s still sitting next to you.

“How long have you been down here?” you ask. “A couple years?”

“Mmm… fifty?” he guesses. “Almost as long as I was alive, at this point.”

“Fifty years?!” you exclaim. “And you still have to deal with cat instincts?!”

He shrugs. “Like I said, it never goes away. Just gotta get used to it, take the good with the bad.”

“The good…” you repeat. “Like being cute?”

“Oh, shut up,” he says. “...but in your case… yeah. Like being cute.”

You finally manage to pick up your water without giving into the desire for destruction. As you take a sip, something feathery starts to tickle against your tail. You look over at Husk from the corner of your eye. He’s trying to be nonchalant, not even looking at you, but there’s only one thing that could be brushing against you right now.

Without looking, you shift your tail, allowing it to curl around Husk’s. Husk curls his around yours in turn, your tail tips forming a spiral that just barely reaches the floor.

It’s the closest he’ll get to flirting for now. You’ll take what you can get.

[marlynnofmany]

Junkyard Playground

A regular whacking noise is not something you want to hear while strolling through a spaceship crash site that’s been reclaimed by forest. The locals had promised that nothing dangerous would come near us while we delivered their supplies, but clients had been wrong before. Also we’d already delivered the stuff, so maybe that promise didn’t cover the walk back. And anyway, even a timid herbivore can get wild when it’s tangled in debris.

Thinking of several unfortunate animals I’d known in my veterinarian days, I glanced down at Paint to see if she’d noticed the sounds.

Paint’s eyes were wide. She moved with more lizardlike twitchiness than usual, her head skipping side-to-side, scanning the bushes and twisted metal like she’d smelled something that wanted to eat us, but wasn’t sure if it had spotted us yet.

I stopped walking. In an undertone, I asked, “Do you want to take a different route?”

Paint froze, snout still moving. “Maybe.” Another whack sounded.

I opened my mouth to suggest a detour around the tallest chunks of hull, or whatever they were, when I heard something that made it all better.

Mur complaining.

“Oh, for the sake of sudden waves, aim to the left!”

The answering voice was more subdued, but sounded testy. The whacking stopped.

Paint managed to perk up and relax at the same time. “Oh, it’s them!” She took off through the undergrowth faster than was probably wise, given that her species wasn’t fond of shoes. I hurried after.

A big section of wall loomed ahead, made of something too smooth for alien moss to grow on. The voices were coming from the other side.

Paint beat me there. “Hey!” she said brightly. “I thought your delivery was in the other direction!”

I caught up, swinging around the corner to find squidlike Mur perched on a hoversled full of small boxes — though with one conspicuous empty spot — while Coals stood nearby. He held a long cable in both scaly hands like he’d been whipping something with it.

“It is,” Mur said to Paint, waving a tentacle halfheartedly in greetings. “Local fauna stole a box.”

“Where?” I asked, looking sharply for anything that could have been on the receiving end of that cable-whip. But Coals pointed up.

Up to where the smooth wall gave way to exploded metal shapes, with a familiar white plasteel shipping box caught between them. No fauna in sight.

“It flew off right away,” Coals told me, pulling the cable back to sling it in an underhanded throw that rebounded off the wall with a familiar sound.

“Oh dear,” Paint said.

“Yeah,” Mur grumbled. “Luckily our client specified they’d be there all day, otherwise we would be very late.”

“Why not call back to the ship?” I asked, looking for something to climb, but coming up with nothing.

“That,” said Coals, throwing again, “Would be embarrassing.”

“Why?” I asked, looking at Mur.

He sighed, drooping back like a deflating balloon. “Both Trrili and Zhee volunteered for this delivery, but we’d already claimed it, and we told them it was fine.”

“Annnd,” I said, visualizing one of our insectlike crewmates stretching up the wall farther than I could ever reach. “They’d never let you live it down.”

“Oh yeah, they’d be insufferable,” Mur said. “I don’t even know if Zhee could reach it, but Trrili definitely could, and neither of them would let that go in a hurry.”

“I really thought I could get it with this,” Coals said.

“Can I try?” I asked.

He willingly handed it over, and I gave it a shot, having better luck with an overhanded angle that human shoulders were more suited to. I hit the box squarely, with a resounding whack from above and a cheer from Paint, but the box just rattled in place. I kept at it.

Finally my arms were tired and the box was still up there. “We might just have to call it in, guys,” I said.

Mur groaned theatrically while Coals wordlessly took the cable back to give it another go.

Paint looked around. “Isn’t there anything else we can do?” she asked.

Mur ticked things off on his tentacles. “Can’t reach it. Can’t dislodge it. This sled’s height only adjusts a little. Nothing to climb up. Nothing to climb down. No friendly local fauna ready to give it back. If you have other ideas, I am ready to catch them.” He splayed his tentacles in a sun-ray pattern that looked more than a little sarcastic.

But as I looked at the misshapen metal hanging above us, and the lower curve behind us that could be climbed onto, and the nice sturdy cable…I had the seed of an idea.

“What if we swing up to it?” I suggested.

“What?” Mur asked.

“How do you mean?” Coals asked, stepping away as the cable fell after a particularly awkward throw.

“We can loop the cable over that part!” I said, warming to the idea. I pointed up at what might have been an internal hull beam once. “Then swing up like it’s a vine — or wait, even better!” I scrambled over to where a rectangular grate poked out of a shrub. Hopefully the plant wasn’t poisonous. “We can tie it to this!”

Paint cocked her head at a sharp angle. “Why?”

“To make a swing!” I said, grinning as I yanked it free. The thing wasn’t even that heavy; perfect.

While my alien coworkers watched, I set about making the most epic of playground swings from broken spaceship junk. The cable flew over the beam just fine. It didn’t even hit anyone in the head on the way down. Fastening it to the sides of the grate was a little tricky, but I was able to shove it through the holes and tie a pair of bulky knots underneath that probably wouldn’t come loose mid-swing. Probably.

I checked the area for anything especially sharp just in case. Flying off to smack into a wall would be bad enough without the chance of impaling myself on the remains of some spacefaring bathroom sink.

“Are you sure about this?” Paint asked as I clambered up onto the curved thing, towing the swing along with one hand.

“All the pieces look strong enough!” I said. I’d done plenty of tugging to be sure. “And the box isn’t really that high up, all things considered.”

Mur saluted with two tentacles, not moving from the sled. “Better you than me.”

“That’s the spirit,” I laughed. Getting into position was more of a delicate affair than I’d expected, since the cable didn’t reach quite far enough. Guess I’d just have to do a bit of hop-and-butt-shuffle.

“But—” Paint said anxiously.

Coals put a hand on her shoulder. “The physics holds up,” he said. “I don’t think it’s scary for a human.”

“Not a bit!” I agreed. “Here goes!” With that, I jumped into position on the grate, swinging forward at a speed that would have made little playground-monkey Child Me clap for joy.

I almost reached the box on the first swing.

Paint sounded disappointed, but she was clearly unfamiliar with the fine art of pumping the legs. Another couple goes, and I swung high enough to catch a hand on a jutting bit of something at the peak of my swing.

I hung there for a heartbeat, both arms looped around the cable, extremely aware of the long drop below me, then I stuck a leg out and kicked the box free. It was sturdy enough to land in one piece.

Before letting go, I made certain that I was in position with my other hand clutching the cable (with the appropriate amount of nerves).

Then I let go of the bar and fell.

The swing downward was much more adrenaline-ridden than the ride up, with a moment of freefall before the cable jerked taut and bounced me back toward my original launch platform. I held that cable in a death grip, pressing my butt into the grate hard enough to leave a waffle pattern that I would tell no one about. I almost hit my foot on a spar that I hadn’t gone near the first time.

But I made it.

When the swing finally slowed enough for me to drag my feet through the rubble, Paint ran over, full of praise.

“You did it! That was amazing!”

“Nice kick,” Coals added. He put the box onto the cart; not a scratch on it.

Mur moved out of the way. “We may just have to tell the others after all, because that was impressive.”

“Glad it worked!” I said, getting back onto my feet with only a little shakiness. “This stuff made a great swing. Pity we can’t take it with us.”

Paint craned her neck up at it. “You said this is something from a recreation center? Is it spacefarer training for acceleration?”

I laughed at that. “No,” I said. “Human training for being a human. Kids love these. They even have special seats for babies who can’t hold themselves in place yet.”

Paint looked horrified.

Coals just shook his head quietly while Mur did some chuckling of his own.

“That explains so much about you,” Mur said. “Come on, let’s drop this off then go tell Trrili. Maybe next time we visit a human settlement they’ll have one of these big enough for her to ride. She’d hate it.”

Coals nodded. “She would.”

Paint grimaced but said nothing.

I smiled. “I actually do know a place like that.”

“Of course you do,” said Mur. “Onward!”

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come!

[braxiatel]

An assortment of Grian appearance headcanons I’ve had on my mind lately!

(Obligatory mention that I’m talking about Grian the character and not Grian the youtuber, here’s your confirmation that this is not about real life guy Grian minecraft whose appearance is well documented, but rather it is about his minecraft roleplay character who is made out of pixels and blocks and whose appearance is very much up for discussion)

His eyes are that shade of brown that’s so dark it looks black

He wears glasses, and through experience he has learned that unless he wants to be replacing them about once a month he needs them to have a thick and sturdy frame

Grian has a whopping case of adhd and is extremely good at misplacing his belongings. His glasses are not exempt from this just because they help him see, and he has managed to lose every single pair he owns several times. At some point one of his friends (I'm leaning Pearl or Jimmy) got tired of hearing him complain about it, and got him a golden chain to keep them on. Grian pretends he’s just using it because it appeals to his love for shiny things, but in reality it actually helps him a lot and he would be very sad were he to lose it

Speaking of his adhd. This guy moves. He does not sit still, does not like to be doing nothing. He builds, he helps other hermits with stuff they don’t have time to do, and he is well known to do Grindy tasks. And you know what that means? Grian is strong. In fact, Grian is buff

This is related to some hybrid stuff I’ll get more into in a sec, but very specifically, Grian is a flyer and those natural wings need a lot of muscle around them to work. That means a lot of upper body strength, especially in the pectoral region. Yes, I said gritty rights.

I wish I could remember what artist originally drew Grian’s waffle as an undercut with a pattern because I love that headcanon so much. He varies what the rest of his hair looks like (he has a manbun in season 9) but the undercut stays no matter what

Tangentially, the reason Mumbo now has a waffle as well is that his hair just grows in that shape now. He has extremely specific alopecia, and it is unclear whether or not Grian is the same or if he just prefers to keep his hair that way.

Grian has clear and visible bald patches in his eyebrows. This is a product of him having had TNT blow up in his face one too many times, resulting in the follicles having been damaged

Along a similar vein, he is also missing somewhere in the realm of 1-3 fingers total on his hands

I don’t think of Grian as someone who is very particular with his hair or with stuff like makeup. Most days he’ll do the bare minimum of combing his hair to look presentable and that’s it

That said, he loooooooves shiny jewellery, and his wardrobe is by far the largest on the server. Due to aforementioned constant moving he need things that are practical to move in, but other than that he has no rules on what goes in there. You’ve got sequinned mini skirts next to permanently dirt-stained overalls next to rainbow bucket hats. This guy has it all.

He does sometimes wear a red sweater, but I am going to say something controversial here, guys. Look at that man's shirt. Look at that cleavage view. He’s wearing a v-neck

Okay so hybrid headcanons. I have several, mutually exclusive ideas here, but I will go with one I think is, frankly, very underutilised: gryphon hybrid Grian!

Want avian Grian for all of the historically present bird coding? Also want to acknowledge the fact that he has so much mischievous cat energy? Gryphon Grian! He’s half bird, half cat, half human, and all menace.

There are a couple of different bird species I think he could be.

House sparrow, for the noise levels, the tendency to travel in a pack, and the sheer gremlin energy these little bastards exhibit outside of my kitchen window on a daily basis.

I think he could definitely be some kind of corvid too. Maybe a magpie? Beautiful plumage (fight me), incredibly intelligent and likely to make that your problem, and with a call that lends itself very well to Grian’s screech-laughter

You all know my opinions on potoo Grian. It works, okay? Look into his horrible, haunted eyes, you know it to be true.

For a season 10 fisherman arc Grian I am very much leaning towards an oriental darter. There’s just something about the idea of Grian spearfishing for mending books, and sulking in the sun to dry his wings when he only catches fish that I enjoy very much

Owl for his cursed head movements

Okay so wings talk time! I headcanon that naturally avians simply do not have wings strong enough to fly with. They’re too short, and even for someone like Grian who flies A Lot the musculature to support a humanoid frame just isn’t there. That said, elytra are easily modified to function as a sort of wing extension/prosthetic, that allows them to gain much more power for less energy expended.

You would think, with me being the owner of three cats, that I would have some kind of idea for a specific breed of cat he might be. The thing is, my family have historically always kept the same breed (Norwegian forest cat mix c: ), so I know very much about those and no other cat breeds. He is simply cat :)

Biiiiig naughty tortie vibes. My sources for this is I have one of the latter and she is the same level of Problems a Grian

This is the little madam caught in the act of doing something dastardly. She commits one hundred crimes every single day and we love her. Tell me that is not big Grian vibes right there. You can't, right? he is a naughty tortie

Other Grian hybrid options I also like: avian, watcher, robot!!, cod, enchanted armour stand come to life!, and fey!Grian